#i have one friend who will fight me shoutout to him. its fun

[carcinized]

my elementary school was so violent for some reason. we got dodgeball banned by the time i was 8 bc we played it on a circle on the blacktop and would purposefully hit people so they got shoved to the ground and all scraped up. the sandbox had a running black market for clay and you could get captured and literally forced to dig for it (we ended up digging up and out of the entire sandbox). we had scheduled cage fights in our jungle gym. and probably a lot more that im forgetting

[atokirina-writings]

“Omatikayaru tìhawnu sivi”- Protect the people.

sully family x reader

shoutout to @eywas-heir for giving me the idea for this fic, i hope i did it justice :)

pairings: sully family x reader, neytiri x daughter!reader, jake sully x daughter! reader, neteyam x twinsister!reader etc.

notes: this is set during the events of avatar twow and I had sm fun writing this! this fic is 2k+ words so be prepared

synopsis: you’re the twin sister to neteyam. growing up you served as the families little bit of peace, even when quaritch threatens everything you know and love.

…Mìpa tìreyti, mìpa tìkanti. Lawnol a mì te’lan.

One of your earliest memories was your mother and father cradling you and your twin brother Neteyam, while your mother sings her songcord. Your mothers voice always had an affect on you from a young age.

“y/n, please stop fighting with your brother.” You always listened to what your mother had to say, even if it was a scolding. You loved your dad endlessly but you were a mama’s girl at heart, and everyone knew it.

She sees a lot of her late older sister in you. Your compassion for Pandora’s animal life, your strong will, and your love for the people.

“Ma' ite, she is beautiful.” Your grandmother constantly reminded your mother how happy she is that you’re her first grandchild. Your whole family adored you and that continued even into your teen years

“Ma sempul Lo’ak has done nothing wrong, let him be.” You never failed to stand up for your younger brother to your father, even when what he did was truly stupid. You never let your brother feel like he was not supported by you. Today however, was different.

When you got the message that Lo’ak, Kiri, Spider, and Tuk were at the old shack with sky people present, you felt could not defend him. He had put himself and your siblings in a dangerous position.

After rescuing your siblings from Quaritch and his people, you couldn’t help but to let your anger with your brother dissipate. Your gratefulness for their safety was a stronger feeling than your anger for them being in that situation in the first place.

꧁꧂

Later that night after finishing a conversation with a few of your friends you make your way back to your families tent. You catch your siblings seated outside of your home seemingly listening to someone’s conversation. “Guys what are you do-” Kiri sushes you, gesturing for you to sit down with them.

“I can not, you can not ask this. I can not leave my people, I will not!” Your ears perk up at the mention of leaving the people. ‘What’s going on?’ You wonder. Your father says something about him targeting your family. You immediately know who he’s referring to. “You can not ask this! The children everything they’ve ever known, the forest, this is our home!” Your mom bites back. Tuk winces upon hearing your mom yell at your dad. Placing a hand on her shoulder you nod at her, giving her a faint smile attempting to keep her grounded.

“My father gave me this bow as he lay dying. And he said ‘protect the people’ you’re Toruk Makto!” At this point you and your siblings are all on edge, as you begin to understand what your dad is insisting. Tuk wraps herself in your embrace as you attempt to soothe her irregular breathing. Kiri has a hand over her mouth as she lets out quiet sobs. Your brothers have serious faces on with saddened eyes.

“But I know one thing, wherever we go this family is our fortress.” You and your siblings make eye contact sharing a knowing look. Your father has never given your family any reason not to trust him, this is no different.

꧁꧂

Turning back you’re met with the forest, your people, and your home getting smaller and smaller as you ride off with your family to a new region of Pandora.

You learned how to hunt there, you bonded with your Ikran there, you attended Tsahìk lessons with your grandmother there. The forest is your home and your life’s first love. Nowhere could ever replace it.

Although if this is truly the best choice for the safety of your family, you’re willing to go as far as it takes.

꧁꧂

Arriving at Awa'atlu, everything felt wrong. You felt outcast for the first time in your life. You and your siblings immediately being subject to the bullying of the Olo'eyktan’s son Ao’nung and his friends didn’t help the feeling either.

“Leave us alone!” Your ears perk up, your head swiftly turning to where you’re hearing the commotion. Your eyes land on the sight of Lo’ak and Kiri being harassed by Ao’nung and his friends. Making eye contact with Neteyam you both make your way over to your younger siblings.

Roughly shoving Ao’nung away from your brother and giving him a deadly stare, your eyes narrowing at him. “You heard what she said, leave them alone.” Neteyam demands. One of his friends attempts to talk back to him and before you can respond to him Ao’nung raises his hand infront of is body, silencing him. “Back off now!” You hiss tilting your head, daring him to say anything back. Ao’nung then raises his hands in surrender. “Smart choice, and from now on I need you to respect my siblings.” Checking to make sure all of you are ok you begin to retreat back to your marui pod.

Walking away they begin to talk more shit under their breaths about your family. Lo’ak stops walking with us and turns back. Neteyam warns him to stop but Lo’ak dismisses him and continues to walk over to the group. Neteyam makes eye contact with you, clearly confused as the two of you watch the scene unfold.

Suddenly Lo’ak punches Ao’nung in the face twice, and he’s sent back by the blow into the sand. “It’s called a punch bitch!” They immediately gang up on your brother, he starts losing the fight and fast. “Teyam do something!” You whisper yell to your brother. He looks at you scratching his head contemplating getting into a fight for his little brother, ultimately deciding to jump in to help him.

꧁꧂

After all the fighting Lo’ak and Neteyam returned home all bruised up. Your father was not having it, ordering you all to go make peace with Ao’nung. Once your brothers left with defeated faces you stick behind to talk with your dad.

“Lo’ak was only defending Kiri, Sully’s stick together and that’s what he was doing. The execution wasn’t the best sure but he still stood up for her, don’t be so harsh.” He sends you a sympathetic smile and pulling you into his chest, wrapping you in his strong arms, and kissing the top of your head. “Alright babygirl.”

꧁꧂

The peace that was made between the two families was soon destroyed when Teyam comes in dragging Ao’nung by his arm “Tell them what you told me” Looking at your parents in confession you listen to what Aonung has to say.

The color drains from your face he reveals what has happened with your brother. Throughout the night you wondered where he had gone off to, figuring he was out doing his own thing with his new friend Tsireya you brushed it off.

When your little brother returned home you ran to him trapping him in a tight embrace, thanking Eywa for his safety. He relaxes in your embrace but quickly tenses back up at the sight of your enraged mother.

꧁꧂

The following weeks at Awa'atlu were rather peaceful for you. Lo’ak told you all about Payakan, the clan shamed him for it but you found it interesting and agreed with him that Payakan is a hero. So did little Tuk, she constantly asked him about his new found friend.

The Tulkun returned home, and you swear to Eywa it was the most beautiful sight. You got better and better at riding your ilu and holding you breath thanks to Tsireya’s lessons. Things for your family were starting to look up.

꧁꧂

You were cooking dinner with your parents when you got the news that started the spiral that sent everything downhill.

You and your mother were laughing at your father’s corny jokes, simply enjoying one another’s company when Tonowari walked past your marui pod, causing you all to fall silent. Your mom gave your dad a questioning look as he makes his way to Tonowari.

꧁꧂

Ronal’s spirit sister and her baby were killed by Quaritch. Noticing how your mom’s heart clinches at Ronal’s cries reminding her of when her own sister was taken by the sky people, you place a hand on her shoulder trying to soothe your mother.

When the clan gets word on what has happened, all hell breaks loose. Your father attempts to reason with them that attacking the sky people will end in defeat but they persist. “Please, listen to my father!” You beg the people to hear him out but their war cries only grow louder.

Your father shows off the tracker to clan, silencing them all. It is decided that the clan will warn the tulkun and tell them to leave. The clan thinks this is about the Tulkun but your family knows it’s really you being hunted.

Lo’ak runs off to the docks, Neteyam and you following after him knowing he’s going to warn Payakan. Lo’ak argues with Neteyam about him being the perfect son he’ll never be and it hurts your heart. He jumps into the water and takes off on his ilu. Neteyam and you yell his name in unison as you jump in after him, commanding your ilus to follow him.

꧁꧂

When you find Payakan, he has a tracker lodged in his arm. Using the strength of You, Neteyam, Lo’ak, Rotxo, Ao’nung, and Tsireya you manage to pull the tracker out. Successfully rescuing him.

In the process Kiri, Tuk, Lo’ak, and Tsireya are captured and bound the the ship. Your parents along with the metkiyna warriors arrive aiding in the fight, Payakan does too.

Dodging every bullet from underwater effortlessly, you make your way to the ship. Emerging from the water you run to Lo’ak cutting him loose while Neteyam frees Tuk and Tsireya.

“Did ya miss me little bro?” You tease. Rolling his eyes and shaking his bound wrist “Just hurry up!”

Cutting him loose “Cmon bro lets go.” Neteyam and you begin to exit the ship but Lo’ak turns back, taking a gun from a dead sky person.

“They have spider” Lo’ak begs you and Neteyam to save him. You know how much Spider means to him, they grew up together after all. Sharing a look with Neteyam he groans and reluctantly agrees.

Together You and your brothers take out every last human in the area seamlessly. Using your knife to puncture one of its oxygen mask while kicking the back side of their knee bringing them to the floor, slitting their throat. Successfully retrieving Spider you rest your hands on your knees trying to calm your uneven breathing, “Nice kill sis!” Lo’ak praises, hitting the back of his head in response annoyed by his joking in a serious situation.

“Guys go! go!” Neteyam shouts,redirecting your attention to the avatar shooting at the three of you. Once the four of you reach cover you take the gun out of Lo’ak’s possession, firing back at your attackers.

“Lo’ak jump go!” You order and be wastes no time jumping off of the ship into the water below, the other two boys following right behind him. You stay behind continuing to fire bullets at the group shooting at you, you’re out numbered now. Quickly reciting a prayer to Eywa you dive into the water.

When you emerge from under the water you gasp at the stinging sensation in your shoulder.

“Oh shit y/n.” Spider gasps and everyone’s attention is on you in an instant. You feel yourself being pulled onto an ilu as your eyes start to feel heavy. “Y/n hey, hey, stay awake ok?” Lo’ak pleads as he cradles you in his arms.

꧁꧂

“Watch her head! Watch her head” You hear someone frantically yell. You gather that you’re being pulled onto some form of land. Feeling strong hands grasp your shoulders examining your body, your eyes flutter open. “Babygirl? Hey sweetie keep your eyes open for me yeah?”

You feel heavy, your eyes are clouded with tears, everything hurts. As you blink in and out of consciousness you notice everyone is hovering around you in a circle, and a new figure emerges.

“Oh my sweet girl, Eywa please.” She begs “Momma i’m scared, I want- I want to go home.” You choke out, through the pain getting worse and worse by the second. “We’re going home baby, we’re going home.”

Your eyes unfocus from the world around you.

You can hear cries from over you but you no longer have the energy to inspect it.

꧁꧂

Your eyes open to Tsireya and Ronal kneeling over you. You groan at the light beaming painfully into your eyes. “She is awake, everyone she is awake!” Tsireya calls out and in an instant your family rushes in.

Your mother walks up to you falling to her knees at the sight of your hurting figure. “Thank you great mother, thank you.” Hot tears fall from her face onto your chest as she litters kisses on your forehead.

Looking to your other side you see your dad staring at you with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. “Dad it’s ok, i’m ok now.” You reassure. Your voice is hoarse and dry, from the lack of talking you’ve been doing.

“I’m just happy so you’re safe baby.” Your dad says sending you a close lipped smile. Using all the strength in your body you extend your arms out to your family, inviting them into all into a hug.

Your parents place their foreheads on yours, your brothers hold each of your hands, and your sisters rest their heads on each of your legs.

Melting into your family’s embrace, burning this moment into your memory.

Sully’s stick together.

tysm for reading! a like and reblog is deeply appreciated <3

Taglist: @multifandomgirllol @23victoria @avatar4eva @simp-erformarvelwomen @themysteriousslenderman @hannahboobanna @uglymammoth @onlytays @bvbblepopp @lets-candice @mrs-sullys-blog @ssc7514 @neteyamforlife @iloveavatar

[otteropera]

Home (Jon Snow x Reader)

A/N - Only took me, what, like three months to finish this request? I kept coming back to it and re-reading and changing it but I finally FINISHED IT! The wonderful @pastanest requested this one so shoutout to her, if you are thirsting for Jon Snow (like me) GO CHECK HER OUT!!! She is an amazing writer and a wonderful person <3

Warnings - blood, RAMSAY BOLTON, violence... its game of thrones tbh

Word count - 5.7k

The fire had gone out weeks ago. No one who came in bothered to replenish it with wood, and I wasn't exactly in a position to do it, with my wrists chained to the floor. I'd had a lot of time to think about things. About my past, about Sansa, about what led me to this moment, about Jon.

I found that my mind went wandering to him quite often.

Nineteen years ago, after Robert’s Rebellion ended, many reunions were had. Fathers saw their children and wives saw their husbands. It was a sigh of relief for people who had their loved ones taken away, forced to fight the Mad King. My mother waited with baited breath, staring at the horizon everyday for months, praying to all the Gods that she would see him in the distance, finally returning to her. She held her budding belly with tears in her eyes, refusing to believe that she was living in a world without him.

She later passed away on the birthing bed.

If it weren’t for the wet-nurse that was able to arrive so quickly from a town over, I wouldn’t have made it. When word got to Eddard Stark that I was in fact alive, and without parents, he was quick to get me over to Winterfell. I don’t remember my life before the Starks, and I don’t have much of a need to. I befriended the Stark children and was welcomed into their home with open arms. My father gave his life in service to the realm, they felt it was the least they could do. From what Lord Eddard remembered of my parents, they were utterly and wholly in love.

Sansa and I clicked when we were younger. Although I was a few years older than her, we got along very well. We would brush each other's hair and put it in pretty braids, we'd giggle when the stable boys would flirt with us, and she would tease me for my crush on Jon. Once the two of us were of age, I was assigned as her lady-in-waiting. It was sort of like being Sansa's ‘official friend’, which wasn't hard. It really didn't change much; we got to spend all of our time together.

Sometimes, if I closed my eyes hard enough, I could go back to those days. When we were younger, we'd help sneak Arya out of her room and run down the corridors to the kitchen to steal any lemon cakes that were left from dinner. I was almost certain that Lord Eddard and Lady Catelyn knew what we were doing, but let us have our fun when they heard the laughter from the kitchens late at night.

"What are you doing?"

Jon stood in the doorway, his mouth slightly agape, eyebrows furrowed. Arya, Sansa, and I stilled, crumb-covered mouths tightly shut. I wasn't sure if it was our lack of sleep or the definite sugar high, but Arya burst out laughing, spewing bits of cake over the table, while Sansa and I did our best not to copy her, covering our mouths and stifling our laughs. With my quick and shy glances to Jon, I could tell he was having a hard time keeping a smile off his face.

"I can't believe you guys," he said, shaking his head. "You're worse than Bran."

Bran was notorious for stealing sweets. I hoped that wherever Sansa had escaped to, she got to eat as many lemon cakes as she pleased. It had been months since she got away from Ramsay’s hold, and sometimes I wondered if she would leave me here for good.

It was an awful thing to think, I knew that, but Ramsey knew how to get under my skin (literally) and drill some awful things into my mind. I couldn’t begin to imagine what he’d done to Sansa. Thankfully, he could go days without bothering to torment me, which usually meant that I didn’t get to eat either, but I was more than willing to trade that for some time away from Ramsay. The room that I’d been confined to was small and drafty, from what I could guess used to be an extra storage room for food, with the old flour bags and rotting potatoes. They were my bed most nights. Though I have to admit, it’s a step up from the cell outside with the dogs. Ramsay had been keeping me there until Sansa found out and refused to eat until I was moved to an actual room. She even got me a makeshift fireplace in an old cooking pot.

I was convinced that the only reason I was able to stay sane was by staying in my mind. Thinking of ten years ago, when I was growing up here with Sansa, Arya… Jon. When I was safe and happy and took everything for granted.

There was some irony in it. The place that I grew up in, that allowed me to build the friendships and relationships that I had, that allowed me to be free of the pain of growing up without a family, was then the same place that kept me from being with mine.

The door creaked open, and in walked the man who had chained me here. Ramsay knelt in front of me, placing down a bowl of stew. One glance at it and I was salivating. Meat, potatoes, carrots, celery, all steaming gloriously in the bowl in front of me. That was… odd. I’m not one to turn down a hot meal, especially when I hadn’t eaten in days, but I knew the games Ramsay played. I knew that there was… something else to it. Ramsay sat on the floor across from me, with that sick little half-smirk.

“It’s rude to refuse food from the Warden of the North,” he commented, clasping his hands together in front of him.

“He didn’t put this in front of me. You did.”

Ramsay let out a dry laugh, not letting his smile fall. I only managed to get that look off his face once, and I paid for it. However, I still found myself accepting the challenge of knocking Ramsay’s ego down a peg.

“I see you’re in a fine mood today, that’s good,” he paused, “I have good news.”

That was saying something, coming from him.

“The bastard is coming.”

I froze at that. It took a moment to realize that that’s what he wanted, he always wanted to get a rise out of me. I refused to give him any satisfaction. I had to stop myself from meeting his penetrating stare.

“I’d spoken to him earlier, along with my dear wife,” his emphasis on the word ‘wife’ made me want to vomit. “They’ll be coming to Winterfell tomorrow to try to take it from me, with lesser men. And when they lose," Ramsay's voice got quieter as he leaned in towards me, "Sansa will watch me flay you living. She will watch me feed you to those dogs, she will watch as you die in that cell, screaming and bleeding. I will make her understand what happens to those she cares about when she betrays me." His pitch black eyes stared into mine as I tried to control my breathing. I didn’t think I'd ever truly, wholly, and honestly wished for someone to die a painful death as much as I wished it for that man. I swallowed harshly.

"Winterfell has never been yours. It never will be," I whispered. He leaned back, loosening up, but his eyes looked empty as ever. And he smiled some more.

“Jon sounded awfully concerned for you.” No. No. “I’m assuming Sansa had told him about your… conditions here.” That was a nice way to put being held prisoner in your own home. “I wasn’t aware that you two had such a history.” I shouldn’t have even looked at him. All the emotion that I was trying to hide, he saw right through. The more I spoke, or acted, or looked, the more leverage he had against me. It was an impossible struggle.

“Don’t worry,” he leaned closer, his breath hot and putrid. There was nowhere for me to go. “I won’t kill him before I let him see you,” he snatched my face in his free hand, his grasp firm and unwavering. I felt the cool tip of a knife rest on my cheekbone. “He will see just how you’ve been holding up.” He dragged the knife agonizingly slow down the bare flesh, I was sure I would pass out. “And he will see all that I’ve done to you.”

I didn’t eat the stew until after he left. The chains rattled as I reached forward for it, slugging from the bowl like an animal. I didn’t like eating while he watched. Something about it felt… humiliating. Like he was watching one of his dogs rip someone apart after not feeding them for weeks, like he was proud of the way he had starved me. I was sure he was. I was sure he would love to see me eating like it was the last meal I’d ever indulge in.

***

Jon was outside the banquet hall, in the courtyard, slashing away at a dummy with his sword. The mead sloshed in their cups as I stepped toward him.

"I think you won," I commented once I got within earshot. He turned around, his face lighting up at my presence just enough for me to notice, causing my face to flush. "I smuggled you out a drink," I outstretched one of the cups, which he took while catching his breath.

"What am I missing in there?" Jon questioned, referring to the dinner party with the King and Queen, taking a slug from the cup.

"Well... the King is drunk, Sansa's gushing over Prince Joffrey, and Arya just got in trouble for catapulting food at her," I explained. Jon chuckled at the thought of it. "So nothing new, as far as our dinners go."

Jon went quiet, surprisingly. He'd tend to have a lot to say when I was around. His gaze was fixed on the cup, lost in thought.

"Is everything alright?" I asked. I've known him to be a bit upset about being forbidden from dinners, but he was usually better at hiding it.

"There's something I've been thinking about, that I want to tell you," he breathed out. "I'm taking the black. I leave the same day as the royal party with my Uncle Benjen." His eyes were on mine. I felt... conflicted. I was happy for him, I knew he'd do well up at Castle Black, given his bravery and swordsmanship. I knew that we all couldn't stay in Winterfell forever, that we were growing up. However, something in me hoped that wherever Jon would go, I could follow. The bastard and the Lady's maid.

"I'm happy for you." Truly, I was. I knew he'd always been worried about making something of himself. He would never have lands or a title, so it made sense he would seek to prove his worth through service to the realm.

"Thank you." There was a hint of sadness in his voice.

"From what I've heard I'll be going to King's Landing with Sansa. Serving as her handmaiden."

Jon hummed in response. He seemed to have the same reaction to my news as I had to his.

"I'll write to you," he commented. I didn't even bother trying to hide my growing smile.

"I'll write back."

***

The days were cold, but the nights felt colder. Ramsay sent in a Maester to treat the wound that he inflicted. I was no use to him dead, of course. It was sore to the touch. Through the small, barred window in the room, I could see that the sun was setting, as it did every night, and as it will continue to do well after I die in that place.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the throbbing pain in my face. It felt like it was on fire, which meant that my body was probably fighting an infection from the cut. Looking out my small window, the sunlight couldn't penetrate the clouds, leaving the sky a gloomy, milky gray.

Sometimes, when I was just waking up, I would forget where I was. I could open my eyes and be in King's Landing, with Sansa and Arya and Ned Stark. Or I could be waking up here in Winterfell, but in my own bed, in my own room, right across from Sansa's, how it used to be. Those moments were my favorite. When my mind was still fogged with sleep and I could swear that just yesterday I was reading in the Godswood with Jon. Sometimes I would see how long I could go before opening my eyes. It felt like when I did so, it cemented the pained reality of where I was, and who I was without. It's silly, really. No matter how hard I tried, I would still wake up surrounded by these four walls, in the same house that was no longer a home.

I must have dozed off again at some point, because the next time I rose I was awakened by the sounds of chaos outside. The window in my cell was far too high for me to see ground level out of, even if I wasn't chained. I had to use my hearing to discern what was happening.

The scrambling and shouting of soldiers, and a loud, rhythmic bang... bang... bang. It was coming from the front gate. Was... was it a siege? There was a shrieking of a creature that I couldn't name, and then more shouting and yelling, the clanging of swords. Then it stopped. I held my breath. It felt like ages until I could hear anything else.

Footsteps raced towards the door. I could hear muttering on the other side. There were two very different ideas of who could be coming to me at such a rush, one of which made bile rise in my throat.

"This has to be it, I know that he kept it locked and I remember it being by the kitchens," the sweet, feminine voice rushed out. I'd recognize her voice anywhere.

"Sansa?" My voice was hardly a whisper as I croaked out the name. I jumped when the door started shaking as though it was being kicked in. The chains clicked as I scrambled to stand up. Had they won? Was Winterfell back to the Starks? Was Jon here?

The door burst open and I locked eyes with the one who had been infiltrating my thoughts. He looked much more grown than I'd remembered. His dark, curly locks were pulled back with only a few strands in the front that had burst free. There were streaks on his face where dirt and blood had been haphazardly wiped away. Sansa engulfed me in a hug, pulling me in so tight I was sure she could tell just how little Ramsay was feeding me.

"I'm so sorry it took so long for us to get here, my escape wasn't planned, I would've never left without you if I'd known-"

"Sansa," I cut her off from her babbling, pulling back from the hug and holding her at arm's length. There were tears welling in her eyes, as well as mine. "It's okay, I'm okay." She let out a shaky breath, looking relieved I didn't resent her.

"Ramsay had the key on him." It took me a moment to realize what she was referring to, her and Jon's arrival had almost made me forget that I was still chained in the room. For the first time since she'd come in, she acknowledged Jon's presence by turning back towards him. He looked as though he'd just seen a ghost. To him, I guessed I might be one. He blinked a few times, seeming to snap out of his stupor and reached in his pocket, handing the rusty key over to Sansa. When the manacles fell with a clank to the floor, I felt like I could finally breathe. I rubbed the skin that was under them, it was red and irritated, which wasn't surprising.

"Are you hungry? I'll see what can be made.”

***

"It's for you." A boyish Jon stood at the foot of my bed, on unsteady feet, with a bowl of steaming soup in his hands. Even from the distance it smelled heavenly.

"You didn't have to, I was about to go to the kitchens," I complained, sitting up. Jon made his way around the bed, delicately placing the soup in my cold hands.

"Are you feeling any better?" I saw his hand start to move up as he asked the question, only to stop himself. Was he going to feel my forehead?

"A little," I lied, sipping from the side of the wooden bowl. The soup was hot and delicious; it had been prepared with herbs that were still growing outside. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me." He gave a small shrug but smiled anyway. "I'm just glad to see that you're eating again."

"Me too," I said, trying a spoonful this time. It was potato soup, my favorite. Had he known? Jon sat down next to me before continuing.

"I feel awful." I snapped my head up at his statement.

"Why? Are you feeling ill too?" I stammered, shifting under the furs. He chuckled through his nose.

"No," he sighed, "the stable hands warned me they were still training that horse, but I'd ridden her before and she was fine. I can't believe she threw you off like that, into the stream of all places." I had to suppress a smile, thinking back to the other day. Jon offered to teach me to ride a horse, as no one else would bother, and we'd spent the better part of a day out in the woods. It was the most fun I'd had in ages. Towards the end, my horse had gotten a bit fussy and, well…

Jon was quick to get my sopping wet figure back into the gates of Winterfell, but it wasn't quick enough to stop me from catching a cold. I truly didn't mind. Any time spent with Jon was valuable to me.

"Don't feel bad, it's part of learning... people fall. In streams, sometimes," I muttered towards the end.

Jon's face pulled into a smile at my comment. "Well, let's hope your second attempt at riding doesn't involve a broken bone or two."

***

Potato soup. I was sitting in front of a crackling fireplace, wrapped in furs, with a bowl of hot potato soup that conspicuously arrived. In that moment I wondered if I truly had passed away at Ramsay’s hand, if that was real, if I was just dreaming, still locked in the room.

I knew that I should eat, but the hollowness of my stomach made the food smell less than desirable. Sansa hadn't left my side since she'd unlocked the chains and brought me into the room, going on about the past few months. I hadn't said much.

"How do you feel? You’re quiet,” she bit her lip. 

My throat hurt, it was dry. I swallowed hard, clearing it before answering.

“Okay. It's just so good to be warm." I had no idea how long I'd been cold. I often stayed balled up in that room, as tight as I could. I tucked my extremities into myself and dreamed of the sun. I took a breath and brought the bowl to my lips.

"Jon was shocked to hear you were still alive." I almost choked on the soup. Sansa smiled, one that looked devilish. "I knew you were close when we were younger, but I wasn't expecting him to react how he did," Sansa thought out loud.

"How did he react?" My curiosity got the best of me. I set the bowl down on the small table next to me.

"I'd told him soon after Brienne, Poddrick, and I arrived at Castle Black," I quirked my head at the names, but she was too consumed in her story to notice, "that you were still at Winterfell. He was furious, he wanted to come straight here, but I wouldn't let him." Sansa looked down, wringing her hands. "I convinced him to wait, to gather more men. Otherwise it would have been a slaughter."

I put my hands on hers, her glossed eyes met mine.

"You did the right thing," I reassured her. I knew she felt guilty for not getting here sooner, but she did what was best. I'd feel worse if they'd come sooner, and Ramsay's threats rang true.

"Rickon-" Sansa choked a sob, "h-he-"

I shushed her and put my arms around her shoulders. I'd seen some Winterfell men carrying his body through the gates on our way to this room. "I know," I whispered, shedding tears of my own. I didn't dare ask her how he died, I knew enough. That it was by Ramsay's hand, without a doubt.

We sat for a while longer, both comforted by the silence. The warmth of the fire and the contentment of the soup helped me relax. I realized that I'd been clenching my teeth, so I released them. I'd been in an awful lot of pain the past few months. The wound on my face would leave a plump scar, that I was sure of. Our silence was interrupted by a few maids entering with warm buckets of water for a bath. The mischievous smile on Sansa's face told me she had planned that. It wasn't until the maids had filled up the tub and left that I got the courage to ask the question that was lingering in my mind.

"Where's Jon? I haven't seen him since..." since I was freed from my cell? Since I saw him for the first time in years? Since he looked at me and his stare penetrated my being?

"I believe he's with some of the men of Winterfell, gathering up any survivors of Ramsay's men in the castle," she replied, giving me a look. She knew why I asked. I could only imagine what Jon was doing to Ramsay’s men "I'll leave you to it," she stood, her long furs flowing down to her ankles. It was then that I realized this room was intended to be mine. "I'm sure a bath is just what you need." I nodded in response, and she swiftly exited the room.

***

Jon hissed and pulled back slightly at the damp cloth I held against his temple.

"I have to clean it, Jon," I pleaded.

"I know," he breathed out. "It stings." I could see the pain in the way he scrunched up his face.

"I’m sorry." His eyebrows scrunched together at my apology, his eyes locked to mine. I could hear the wheels turning in his head.

Jon and I had a silent understanding of each other. While we had different reasons for being at Winterfell, we were both seen as slightly less-than the Stark children. Of course, I wasn't scolded by Catelyn nearly as much as Jon was. However, we were both instructed to stand behind the Stark's during the Royal family's arrival, never with them. While Jon was told not to attend the feast at all, I was tasked to stay at Sansa's side.

We noticed these differences, we saw them at a very young age, and we protected each other. We looked out for one another in an unspoken pact, that was shown by Jon walking me to my chambers late after the sun went down, and my defending him when Catelyn was always too harsh.

"Jon, I was fine. Those stable boys didn't cause me any harm."

"They were throwing cow shit at you," Jon blurted out. I had to suppress a grin, he was fuming. 

"Well, they didn't have very good aim," I muttered. Jon returned his hardened gaze to the gloves that were clutched in his hand, he must not have found my comment very funny.

"Eddard and Catelyn will have an earful for you, you know. Especially Catelyn." He turned away from me.

"I know," he said quietly, "those boys didn't put up much of a fight," Jon pulled my hand down, and grasped it in his. "I'd do it again." My heart fluttered and I swallowed hard.

***

I recalled the memory in the bath. It was so vivid, his warm hand gripping my fingers, his eyes locked on mine and saw everything inside them. It was the first time he ever offered to defend me like that.

I had scrubbed myself too hard in the bath and opened the wound on my face. I stayed in the water until it turned murky and cold. I wanted to rid myself of every piece of Ramsay, though I knew it wouldn’t be possible. At least, not for a long time. My only motivation for exiting the bath was the small trickle of blood down my face. After drying off and dressing, I exited the chamber and made my way to what used to be Maester Luwin’s space. Surely, there would be a healer of some sorts there.

It was dark outside, the moon shone bright above. A chill breeze blew through the halls. I pulled my furs tighter against me and walked to the door, opening it. There was no one inside. The room was littered with medical supplies, my best guess was whatever Maester was here had been out tending to any wounded men from the battle. Though I'd patched up Arya's scrapes and scratches from playing too rough with Bran before. With the supplies here, I could fix myself up. It took me a moment of fumbling through the shelves and drawers to find a healing balm in a small wooden bowl. The smell of it reminded me of Maester Luwin. His hands were always covered in the minty salve.

The sound of footsteps coming down the hall startled me, and I nearly dropped the bowl. A soft knock sounded on the door, and I was almost certain I knew who it was. I didn't waste a moment, rushing to the door and opening it. Jon was standing in front of me, his dark hair smoothed back, the moonlight made shadows dance across his face. He wore a plain black tunic with his cloak over it. The air rushed from my lungs. It couldn't have been more than a few moments, standing there, gazing at each other. But I felt like I could spend the rest of my days looking into his warm brown eyes, and I would be content.

"You stopped writing back." There was a hint of amusement in his words, the type that only someone who'd known him well enough could pick up on. I did.

I didn't bother trying to hold back the smile and the tears as we engulfed each other. His arms felt strong and real. One of his hands held me at the back of my head, pulling me so close to him that there was no room for doubt. His breath felt warm on my neck, sending a dance of shivers down my back. I sniffled, holding onto him with every part of me. We stayed together like that for what seemed an eternity.

Finally, he broke our embrace, keeping his hand on the back of my head, holding it, holding me. "I've missed you."

My lips quivered when I spoke, unable to form the right words. "I... I've missed you too." There were so many things I wanted to tell him, so many stories and so many people that I'd met, but he looked at me so intently that words fell flat on my tongue.

He held my gaze and I was sure I'd burst into flames. "How are you?" he asked softly. "Are you hurt anywhere else besides there?" His calloused thumb brushed just below the cut on my face. By the gods, I must’ve been a thousand shades of red.

He'd gained a few new scars himself, his face was littered with them. The little nicks in his skin and the dark shadows of his face made him look so... mature. He was no longer the boy who's cheek I'd pecked before he left for the Night's Watch. "No," I said quietly, wringing my hands. "Nothing serious. Just cuts and bruises."

"That's serious," he started analyzing me, trying to find any, "it's you." I smiled again.

"Come here." He dropped his hand from me, closing the door behind him. I immediately missed the warmth he brought to my skin. I turned to follow him, and saw that he was already holding the bowl of salve. With feather light touches, he began to apply to the wound on my face. It stung at first, if only for a moment, but once the minty coolness took effect, I let out a breath of relief. I hadn't realized I closed my eyes until Jon placed his fingers under my chin, tilting my head sideways to get better access to the cut. When I opened them, they found his. The downward curve of his brow told me something.

"What's wrong?" I asked. My voice cracked a bit, and I cleared my throat.

Jon shook his head, leaning back against the wooden desk. His gaze fell to the floor. "I wanted to come sooner, but we didn't have the men," his soft brown eyes followed the curve of the wound down my face, "I'm sorry." For a moment, I thought I saw a wetness in his eyes.

A lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed hard. "For what? Winterfell is back to the Starks. You did what you had to do."

His expression softened. "I know," he said quietly, "I don't think I can thank you enough for keeping Sansa safe the past few years." He reached out to brush the hair away from my forehead, and I could feel the heat radiating off his hand. "She told me everything. About Joffrey, Baelish... Ramsey." He spat out the last name with venom as his jaw hardened.

"Is he...?" I didn't need to finish asking the question for Jon to understand.

"Sansa put him with his hounds. I don't imagine he'll be there much longer."

I knew exactly what that meant, and a breath of relief left me, one I never knew I was holding in. Though I'd felt relieved, I knew that it wasn't the end of Ramsay's torment. He would continue to haunt the darkest parts of my mind. I would continue to have nightmares where his touch was everywhere, and no matter what I did or said, I couldn't shake him off of me. I'd only experienced a fraction of what Sansa had from him. I couldn't imagine what she'd been going through. She was stronger than me, that I knew for certain. I made a mental note to talk to her about, at the very least let her know that I was willing to, if that was what she chose. Jon's warm hand on my arm pulled me from my thoughts. He was looking at me, expectantly.

"What?"

"I asked if you'd like me to walk you back to your room," his voice was laced with concern.

I tried not to show how his offer made my heart squeeze. I nodded. We walked side by side through the castle halls, silent except for the occasional murmur of voices drifting around us. Once or twice, we passed another person, but neither of us acknowledged their presence. The silence was nerve-wracking. It didn't take long before we reached my room, a small smile tugging at his lips. I stopped short outside the doors, turning to face him. He was right behind me.

"Was the potato soup any good?" Jon asked, and it took only a moment before it clicked in my head.

"That was you?"

"So it's still your favorite, I take it?"

"I-... yes."

Jon smiled and nodded his head slightly, stepping back. He was starting to leave. A burning ache ran deep inside me. I felt myself longing for him, although he was right in front of me. "Jon..." I paused. His presence was doing that thing again where it made it very hard for me to speak. I needed him to say something. Anything. So when he said nothing, I continued. "Would you... stay, for a little while? Please?" I finished lamely.

It was all the encouragement he needed to step forward and set his hands on either side of my face. His thumb rubbed along my cheekbone and up toward my hairline, making me shiver. His eyes flew back and forth between mine, looking for permission that he always had. He nodded delicately, pulling me in and pressing a kiss to my lips. It was so soft, so gentle, so tentative. But even that small moment made my stomach twist into knots and my knees go weak. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his lips on mine, letting the lingering feelings of the past few months melt away. It didn't matter that there was still so much to be said, so much to figure out and plan with the retaking of Winterfell. Things would melt into place, as I melted into him.

Ramsay had left his mark on me, literally and figuratively. And maybe he would continue to live in the parts of my mind that he clawed out space for, but Jon never needed to claim space for himself. He had it earlier when he kicked down the door to my cage, when he hugged me tightly goodbye the day he left for Castle Black, when he showed me that smile that always turned my insides to mush, and every time in between. All without having to ask for it. He was slowly filling it with warmth, with love. With life. So maybe Ramsay had some part of me, one that I may never get back... but those parts were all Jon’s, and I'd always treasure them.

As his lips moved against mine, I realized I’d made it. 

I finally felt like I was home.

Tags: @pastanest @nyotamalfoy

[burst-of-iridescent]

atla live action thoughts: season one review

first things first: anyone who says the Movie That Does Not Exist is better than the live action is straight-up lying. the shymalan film fails on the criteria of even being a decent movie, let alone an adaptation. the netflix series, for all its problems, is at least an enjoyable watch with great effects, music and (mostly) appropriate casting. there's absolutely nothing to compare here - the netflix version clears easily.

now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's delve into the series, starting with the positives.

the good:

visuals and cinematography. they really did a great job of making it feel like a fantasy universe you wanted to be in & i love how vibrant the saturation and colour grading was. it made the world feel so much more dynamic and alive instead of the same flat, boring dullness that so many movies and shows have these days. sometimes i didn't even mind that i was being fed obvious exposition because at least they were giving me something pretty to look at lmao

effects and action. the bending was surprisingly good for the most part, and they did a good job of making the elements feel unique through the stunt choreography and the actors' movements. i'm immensely thankful they didn't try to skimp on budget by merely cutting away from fight scenes or showing us as little as possible. almost all the action sequences were fast-paced and engaging, and i was never bored watching them

acting. the main four were all great, but gordon cormier and dallas liu have to be the standouts for me. gordon brings such an earnest, innocent sweetness to aang that you can't help but like him, and dallas plays all of zuko's facets perfectly: the angst, the explosive anger, the bratty snark, and especially the deep-rooted pain that characterizes so many of zuko's actions in book 1. the range he has, especially when flashing from younger to older zuko, was insane. special shoutout to maria zhang and sebastian amoruso as suki and jet respectively, because they killed it

music. leaves from the vine instrumental had me tearbending and i love how they kept the iconic avatar theme while making it a little darker for this iteration of the story. in general, the soundtrack felt very true to the animation while still being a fresh spin on it

zuko and iroh's relationship and expanding on zuko's crew. i think the fandom universally agrees that lu ten's funeral and zuko's crew being the 41st division were the best changes in the series, so i'm not going to talk about it further other than to say that these scenes show me what the show can be, and that's why i'm not giving up on it

the bad:

characterization. almost all the main characters are missing the little nuances that made them so great in the original, but the greatest casualty is katara. i hate that they took away so much of her rage, and gave many of her traits and struggles to sokka. i don't think this is a problem solely with the writing though, because certain lines do feel like things animated katara would say, but the directing and line delivery don't have the same punch that made her so fierce in the original. this is an easily fixed issue though, so i hope they take the criticism and let my girl be angry and fuck shit up next season

exposition. this was primarily a problem in depicting aang's personality and the relationship between the gaang, because a) why are you TELLING me that aang is mischievous and fun-loving instead of just showing me and b) the gaang do NOT feel like close friends, mostly because they spend so much time apart in every episode that they have little screentime to actually bond and develop intimacy.

lack of focus on the intricacies of bending. for a show whose tagline is "master your element" the characters spend very little time actually... mastering their element. zuko is never shown to struggle with firebending (which is going to have ramifications when it comes to developing his relationship with azula), and neither aang nor katara ever learn waterbending from a master throughout the the entire show. i'm pretty sure aang never willingly waterbends ONCE in the entire eight episodes, discounting the avatar state and koizilla. bending isn't just cool martial arts, it's closely linked to the philosophies and spirituality of each nation, and i wish that had been explored more.

pacing. they really needed to do a better job of conveying that time passed between episodes because an 8-episode season is just going to FEEL shorter than a 20-episode one. the original animation felt as though they'd truly been on a long journey before arriving at the north, but here it feels like the entire show happened in the span of a fortnight or so because each episode seemed to pick up right after the previous. they needed to have more downtime within episodes instead of just rushing from plot beat to plot beat because it made everything feel a lot more rushed. give the characters and story time to breathe.

final rating: 7/10.

overall, i would describe the live action as a better version of the percy jackson movies - not an accurate or perfect adaptation, but a decent story that's very fun to watch. but what really makes me root for this show to get a season 2 is that it has a lot of potential and more importantly, a lot of heart. it's evident that the people who worked on it do genuinely love and respect the original series, and it shows onscreen.

regardless of anything else, this show created opportunities for so many asian and indigenous actors, writers and creators to tell the kinds of stories and play the kinds of roles they don't usually get, and that's something worth supporting. if they take the criticism from this season and improve, i believe they really do have something special on their hands which - although it might not be the original we all know and love - could still be a story to be proud of.

[adainesfroggieboggy]

siobhan thompson appreciation post because her characters just make me so happy and they're so. good. she's so good at characters! spoilers for every intrepid heroes season of d20. i could do a whole other post about her sidequest characters bc they're so good.

Adaine Abernant. The Elven Oracle. She's always been one of my absolute favorite characters ever. Her anxiety representation in the first season makes me feel more seen, understood, and represented than any other character ever. She's literally so cool! She starts freshman year as an awkward nerd and becomes a cool nerd! Her anxiety never goes away, but the medication makes it manageable. She hates her parents because they're awful! Just the rep of having awful parents and hating them and that's okay because they suck! You should hate your parents if they suck as bad as the Abernants! Not everyone gets a redemption arc. If they suck, they suck.

Misty/Rowan. Misty is the perfect representation of an old lady who gives no fucks. She flirts so hard with that guy at the pixie wedding. She openly admits to having been friends with John Wilkes Booth. But at the same time? Will not give her age. A lady never tells. She's absolutely ancient and doesn't fucking care, but she also has this undertone of absolute existential panic because she needs adoration to survive! She stays relevant because she has to! Don't get me started on Rowan. I have a crush on Rowan Berry. She's reborn and immediately starts flirting with Pete, which is iconic in its own right. She's a bard who gives bardic inspiration by either flirting or complimenting, and sometimes the lines blur just a little bit. Absolute queen shit. She defeats the queen of Faerie and has no desire to go back until the Fae court tells her hey. You left us with no leader. And then brings democracy to Faerie! President Rowan!

Ruby Rocks! She starts the season as a kid who loves her sister just so much. That's the most integral part of her character. She's a princess and a rogue, and she loves her sister. She has a lot of development over the season! She ends as a woman who fights for her family and her country. She hates Saccharina when they first meet, a new sister on the tails of the loss of the most important person she's ever had. After Jet's death, she's overcome with grief and takes a level of shadow sorcerer because of it! Her development is amazing, a truly wonderful arc.

Iga Lizowski! Oh. My. God. She's the first pc that is a mom in d20, or at least in the Intrepid Heroes. Her relationship with her kids is so fun to watch, from urging Jessica to engage with the chest to bringing her into another part of the Unsleeping City. Then Nick, who she hadn't pressed at all to take responsibility for the chest, decides to become another defender of his family's magic! Not only is she an amazing mother, she's a fortune teller by trade! She knows full well that everything she does has merit, and that magic is real, but makes it all seem like a lie to cater to her clientele. It's not her intention to become a part of the Dream Team, but when her family is threatened, she fights like hell. Also she has a pseudodragon that's just a magical chihuahua and that's so old ladycore it's such a perfect choice.

Riva. They're just on their gallivant, honestly. They decorate their psychodrone with magnets. They're trying to sell pleasure putty. They make their own hours, but they don't know how. Riva is sweet and fun and naive. They love their friends and they love the outside world and they're having a great ass time on their gallivant.

Rosamund. Du. Prix. Quick little shoutout to Siobhan's princess voice because no joke she did my favorite accent. It borders on transatlantic (my favorite accent) but is very Disney princess. She starts as a Disney princess, too! To have a character looking for her true love wake up, search for him, and ultimately sacrifice her chance at having him is *mwah* beautiful. True love isn't real! She directly confronts this, and a member of her party is living proof of it. She has to see the prince who came to save her, and upon meeting him, she realizes how fucked the idea is. He kisses her once and that's all? She doesn't know him, she doesn't love him. How can she live happily ever after with him? Her story is about having things happen to her, but she wrenches the pen from the authors' hands and writes her fucking own! Once upon a time, there was a princess who tried speed dating!

[dreamsy990]

(video essayist voice) kingdom hearts is-

so, kh1. its been. a little while since i played. so forgive me if the game isnt exactly fresh in my mind. theres maybe gonna be errors so please bear with me im trying my best.

this is probably the kh game i have the least thoughts on, which feels weird considering its the first game in the series, but i just dont have a lot of strong opinions on it. its a pretty solid game!

starting where i normally do, the gameplay is probably the worst aspect of the game. they really thought platforming would be a fun thing in this game, but its just. not. the physics are so bad oh my god. if i ever have to jump in kh1 again itll be too soon. the difficulty is also a little bit all over the place. i played on standard (like i do with pretty much every game) and i would randomly jump from breezing through the game to trying a hundred times to fight one boss. most of the time its not the fun kind of difficult, just frustrating. the only time i can remember the difficulty being fun is the last riku fight in hollow bastion. i wish more of the game was the fun kind of hard. strangely enough, i know a lot of people struggled with the riku race and fight in the tutorial, but honestly those were easy for me? i got the fight first try, and the race second. idk, get on my level nerds i guess?

the worlds here are hit or miss. some of them (mostly the original ones, hollow bastion and traverse town specifically) are just amazing and i love them. others are. uh. lets say getting rid of the tarzan world was the best thing to come out of copyright law. also, this game is the only one where i skipped an entire world (sorry atlantica, you fucking suck). so theres that. the disney worlds are probably my least favorite aspect of the game

the story is alright! i dont have much to say about it other than i think that its mostly pretty good when i know whats going on, although both me AND one of my friends were so confused at the ending that we had to go call someone else to ask what the fuck happened and honestly i still dont really know? what the fuck is a kingdom hearts you ask? the world may never know.

this game and 2 are the only ones where maleficent is good. i miss when she was like a fun villain. she was just super into the housing market and i love that. what the fuck is she even doing in ddd? getting into bitcoin????

rikus great, i dont think i need to say that. hes such a freak and i love him. soras pretty good, shoutout to haley joel osman for doing a great job for being uh. 12??? at the time???????? hes great. i know a lot of people really like ansem sod but i just dont get the appeal? he never did anything for me. like hes fine i just didnt care about him whatsoever and anyone who says hes a better villain than like. xemnas. is wrong.

0/10 where is axel. ok but seriously uhhhhhh i give it a 7.7/10. its a solid, enjoyable game! not my favorite, but thats not to say i dislike it at all.

[transflynnscifo]

Words with deeper meaning- Yuri and The Second Star

If you remember a post I made some time ago about a certain something that Flynn says, well, here is what I would call "the Yuri version"! I've decided I wanted to tackle his iconic sword Second Star. Shoutout to my friend Choc for discussing it so extensively with me, and for also providing good ideas for thought :)

This goes without saying, but everything further down the post includes spoilers for the game! I also ramble semi-extensively about language, like I have the previous time.

So let's take a look at the sword! For the unaware, the guaranteed way to get it is as a drop from fighting Estelle (which is overall one of my most favorite parts of the game).

My own screenshot, in English. Here is the flavor text:

Second Star “The first one is for him...” A sword named with a deep message.

Skills you can unlock for this are "Special" (a requirement to perform mystic artes) and "Combination 2", a skill used for combo building. Given this is more or less what I would call his "canon" sword (as it's seen in multiple illustrations featuring Yuri, and even the opening of the game), the availability for his mystic arte through this checks out. Otherwise, nothing too notable yet.

There are two ways to read into what "the first one" means:

This could be referring specifically to Flynn's sword, Radiant Star. Here is my screenshot of it:

flavor text:

Radiant Star A sword designed in the image of an especially bright star. The star at its tip is a mark of its strength.

The skills here are "Hero", "Rival Surge" and "Rival Surge 2". The first skill is unique to Flynn and how he plays against non-humanoid enemies, with the latter two skills being different boosts based on Yuri's actions in battle.

And of course, in order to gain access to it, you need to win the 100-man melee as Flynn. (It's particularly fun because you need to face off against Yuri)

Further comparison between the two swords will be done further down the post.

2. "The first one" could represent Flynn and Yuri's feelings about him.

My friend Choc says that in this case "the first one" is not truly a specific object but an abstract concept that illustrates Yuri's feelings on Flynn and himself. And I agree with it wholeheartedly.

Based everything the narrative puts down in the game, this is simply another instance of the fact Yuri considers himself second best to Flynn, while simultaneously putting Flynn on what I love referring to as "the pedestal". Even the game itself, through flavor text and descriptions, loves reminding the player that Flynn is essentially the hope and shining light for the knights. This is also, in my opinion, an indirect reflection of Yuri's feelings.

2.5 I'm opening this point based on an idea suggested by Choc:

Let's first recall the legend behind the Vesperia star: and how it's about a brother that went to save the world from the end of the world, while his sister stayed behind to protect the world. The game eventually reveals that this is a fantasized way to say that Zaude is the core protecting the world, while the Vesperia star is in fact the blastia that hid the Adephagos out of sight, keeping it at bay. But what is also worth noting is that this is supposed to draw a strong parallel between Yuri and Estelle with those fictional siblings.

(hey, if you want to feel emotional, the track that plays during the Estelle boss fight is called "The Full Moon and the Morning Star")

Why am I mentioning this? Well, one fun thing that Choc has pointed out is that the audience becomes explicitly aware of that intended parallel, and particularly of Yuri's comparison to the brother who sacrifices himself for everyone else. The hero that steps up and leaves his family behind. Compare that to Yuri's tendency to sacrifice his well-being and tendency to "do the job no one else wants to do."

However, let's imagine we're in Yuri's mental headspace for this. Is it possible to argue that Yuri would hear such a legend and have his own interpretation of it? Choc has proposed that it's one where Yuri thinks that this kind of hero would befit someone like Flynn, instead. He obviously isn't aware of how the narrative intends the legend to be perceived in regards to him, and on top of his (eventual) idealized look at Flynn, it certainly seems worth considering.

As to whether 1 or 2 is the correct answer, it was actually a trick. I believe both are ideas that can coincide here.

Now, let's go to the Japanese flavor texts to further discuss the swords!

flavor text for Second Star:

ニバンボシ 一番はあいつの為にとっておいてやるさ…… ……ってワケでもないが意味深な名前を持つ刀

flavor text for Radiant Star:

レイディアントスター ひときわ強く輝く一つ星。そんな思いをこめて作られた剣。剣先の星が強さの証

I will try not to go too much into the language use here, because this post would otherwise get even longer than it is.

But for the sake of comparison, while both sword names use the Katakana script, Flynn's sword is English transliterated into Japanese, while Yuri's is in Japanese, but using Katakana.

(many weapons in Vesperia, including ones with Japanese names, are written with Katakana, as opposed to Hiragana and Kanji. It's mostly done for flair/style.)

Here's where it starts getting interesting. Let's look at the Japanese closer:

レイディアントスター ひときわ強く輝く一つ星。そんな思いをこめて作られた剣。剣先の星が強さの証

ニバンボシ 一番はあいつの為にとっておいてやるさ…… ……ってワケでもないが意味深な名前を持つ刀

I've marked certain instances that I will be discussing here.

一つ星 (hitotsu hoshi)

Now, the flavor text for Flynn's sword uses this, which is translated as "single star" or "a star". In the dictionaries I use, this also translates to "evening/morning star", which seems to invoke the fictional Vesperia star again.

I need to mention the fact that Japanese has a lot of possible variations for counter suffixes. for "一つ", this is using the the general one.

2.一番 / ニバンボシ (ichiban / niban boshi)

Do not mind the fact they're using kanji and katakana respectively. Under normal circumstances, ニバン would be 二番.

These are two counter suffixes in Second Star's name and flavor text! "First" and "Second", these are used to count an order for things.

What I particularly enjoy about this here is that Radiant Star's counter suffix is not used to invoke an order for first, second, etc. It's a single bright star. So it's only with Second Star where the order is invoked, indirectly through Yuri.

Let's look at the two other interesting instances of the text in Second Star!

3. あいつ (aitsu)

This goes without saying, but Yuri is extremely impolite in Japanese. He uses a lot of informal/short forms in sentences, many of which are considered very rude. I won't dissect every instance of Yuri opening his mouth to prove this, but one notable instance is this word (and variation) that Yuri enjoys to use regularly. He uses it for people he isn't close with, he's used it for people he's close with. I've found an instance for him using it with Judith, so he doesn't even limit it to gender. And, of course, he's used it to refer to Flynn.

Now, what does this word even mean? Well, it comes in a set of three, こいつ, そいつ, あいつ. (koitsu, soitsu, aitsu), which are informal/rude ways of referring to people. The main difference between them simply depends on the position of the subject. In the third one's case, it's referred to someone who is "far away from both the speaker and the listener".

Fun fact, Rita also regularly uses these words when she speaks.

Anyway, I just wanted to translate the phrase "あいつの為に", because it's basically "for that guy's sake/for the sake of that guy". thank you

4.ワケでもない (wake demo nai)

Now here is the part that stumped me while reading the flavor text. Normally, this phrase would be written as わけでもない, but the marked in green is in Katakana! でもない is a form of negation, and I've grabbed an example of it from this website:

梅雨時でもないんだから、傘は要らないんじゃない。 "Since it's not the rainy season, there's no need for an umbrella."

ワケ/わけ is most likely 訳, which can mean conclusion/reason/judgement.

When I was looking into the phrase, I also came across "わけではない" (wake dewa nai), which from what I understand is a variation of the negation above. It's used to indicate "It doesn't mean that..."

So, because I wanted to challenge myself, I also wanted to try translating the Japanese flavor text!

warning! amateur translation! (and if it's got a severe error please feel free to let me know) (shout out to the multiple dictionaries I've used)

一番はあいつの為にとっておいてやるさ…… ……ってワケでもないが意味深な名前を持つ刀

"The first one is set aside for him (that guy) / his (that guy's) sake..." Even if he said it had no meaning, the katana carries a meaningful name.

The flavor text offers us the option that Yuri essentially said "The first one is for him" casually, but in reality, the naming of the sword holds a deep meaning to him. The localization shortened it, but ultimately carries the intended message.

I assume this was done to cut out the repetition found in the usage of the word "meaning". Japanese has several ways of saying it, but English is much more limited.

Finally, let's actually move away from the two swords, and point to something closer to late/endgame. Vesperia No.1 and Vesperia No.2! Screenshot from Hyouta:

What I wanted to point out is that the party never ends up using Vesperia No.1 as intended, right? Because it is at a point in the game where Flynn needs help on Hypionia. Yuri, in a surprising turn of events, makes his first selfish request from the others, doesn't he?

That's right, he asks to use the first one, for him.

And later on, when Rita repairs and perfects it, No.2 becomes a sword that Yuri can equip in battles!

So now you can sit with this knowledge too.

Thank you for reading this post! Yuri Lowell is gay

[roseworth]

thoughts on eddierose?

my eddierose thoughts are very similar to my jayrose thoughts tbh! i think theyre so much fun together and i love seeing them show up but i like them better as friends

their dynamic when they first show up in tt03 is soooo much fun bc <3 theyre both so insecure about their place on the team so they band together and become ride or die and its so sweet. rose thinks that she doesnt belong on the team but as soon as she perceives a threat against both of them she jumps to eddies defense <333 theyre so cute

its so much more interesting to me when theyre just friends because at this point neither of them really have any other friends. theyre both going through really rough periods in their life (eddie's aunt died, his mentor abandoned him, and he sold his soul to the devil. rose just left slade and is still struggling with who she is) and they latch onto each other because theyre the only ones they feel like they can trust :''') eddie never knew rose when she was with slade which she likes because she hates the version of herself that was being drugged but no one trusts her because they saw her. but eddie didnt and he knows that she was being drugged when it happened so he trusts her <3 they both just need someone to be there and actually care and thats what they are to each other!!!! to me it loses some of the impact when its romantic because its a very meaningful friendship to both of them

however. smoking scene my beloved. this is the most iconic thing anyone has ever done shoutout straight people

AND. GOD. my favorite of all time is when eddie gets hurt and rose loses her shit and tries to fight everyone

me when rose is worried and feels powerless so she immediately starts deflecting and covering up all her feelings with anger 😍😍🥰🥰🥰💞💓💞💕💖💘💕💓💘💖💗💓💞💘💕💞💖💓 thats my girl!!!

i cant really see them as romantic together just because their relationship is so much more fun when theyre just being friends instead of when they start pushing for more romantic stuff. at the beginning theyre kinda like a team of the two of them and its so sweet :') theyre constantly looking out for each other and hanging out together when no one else is and its so much fun to me ! even during this period that johns was setting up a future romance but in my head they were just friends and it was great

also omg. the issue where rose is accused of being a traitor and eddie immediately goes "ur wrong actually! thats my bff and she would never do that" <3333 i love this issue because no one actually believes rose would do that but i looooove eddie's reaction because he never doubts her and never stops believing her because! thats his buddy who talks shit about her dad 100 times a day! and he knows her well enough even after such a short time of being on the same team <33

anyways. as much as i stand by mckeever's rose later on i haaaate what he did with eddie & rose. first of all if youre not reading it as her being a lesbian, the shit with "rose is pretending to be friends with blue beetle to make eddie jealous" is so fucking stupid. she suddenly starts acting like she doesnt give a shit about eddie and constantly ignores him which is completely different than what she was doing like 5 issues prior. then eddie is also completely obsessed with her??? like its no longer a "thats my friend and i like spending time with her" its a huge (seemingly unrequited) crush and like?? bringing her flowers and passing out at the sight of her. i really hate it

then in fresh hell theyre suddenly so much more romantic than they ever were before and it just feels ?? weird and unearned??

maybe im just a hater but this feels like it comes out of nowhere. the last time they interacted before this she was brushing him off and lying to him to make him jealous then next thing you know theyre staring longingly into each others eyes and going "i would go anywhere with you babygirl 😍" what is going on!!! mckeever wanted a romance between them so bad that he forgot to put in any of the buildup. like this is sweet but it just feels so forced to me

BUT. oh my god. the ending of fresh hell where she starts hallucinating him is so fuckign hhghmghhm <3

BECAUSE. HES FUCKING DEAD AND SHE DOESNT KNOW. it makes me emotional every time i think about it. shes having a crisis and thinking about him and she has no idea hes already dead. im still so mad that they never showed rose's reaction to eddie being dead because hgjhghhmmh!!! thats her buddy!!!! thats her only friend!!!!!!! let me see her upset that hes dead!!!!!!! fuck. its very in character for her to lose someone then ignore that it ever happened and never bring them up ever but still.... :(

i just think that theyre so much fun together <3 they have such a good friendship and i love seeing them hanging out and looking out for each other <333 i dont mind them romantically when its done well (smoking scene) but unfortunately most of the time their romance is so boring to me. let them be friends!!! let them be close platonically without the halfassed will they wont they!!!!

[gloriousburden]

though im also critical of it, ragnarok is one of my favs especially cus it endeared me with brodinson interactions (shoutout elevator scene) but after that, i didnt like future loki portrayals. it somewhat flipped loki's aspirations, although i liked how he really seemed a god of mischief i wished for more digging into that. if i said "country boys make do" and did what what i could, then i look at loki betraying thor once more as his warped way of saying "we've come to deeper understanding of e/o more and idk how to be your brother but i want to, this is all i know." (i imagine his ass is that type in fights "IDC! LEAVE! *wants them to stay* i feel frigga was the only person who saw that in him growing up and was there).

coulson did say to him "you lack conviction"; loki's always kind of struggling with himself to find his genuine purpose whether w/ being a king or a brother.

after that though i didnt care for loki they just took his popularized character traits and made him shout them out every second "hehe thats just what loki does!" and things i wanted delved into weren't addressed, or when they were it was poorly. i only seen season 1 but its loki content i just distance from

personally, i liked loki's personality shining in ragnarok. but like this time tom hiddleston said "loki should be an entertaining character but also that there should be a shred of truth" thats how i feel. about all future loki. i think they saw the numbers that loki did in ragnarok, and then on fucked up portraying him, and his depth

hi i sincerely apologize for seeing this so late 💔

personally, during my initial mcu watch, i did actually kind of enjoy ragnarok. although i did realize it’s issues such as pretty much everyone’s characterization (but especially loki’s), the way odin’s death was… Not as serious as it should’ve been, the way everything was too Haha funny joke, korg, the racist thor/bruce joke (which i will actually make a post about eventually), etc…

i did think it was a fun movie. it wasn’t until i rewatched it for a second time, after rewatching the thor movies/avengers 2012 that i realized.. yeah, this isn’t really that good and the earlier movies featuring thor, loki, or asgardians in general really were better.

personally, i prefer the humorous side of loki’s personality more in the dark world over the one in ragnarok. he was being funny and joking around, but it didn’t feel forced. it still felt like loki. in ragnarok, to me at least, it felt very forced and off for loki’s character. in the dark world, they didn’t necessarily have to belittle loki’s character and make him the laughing stock of the movie to make him funny. in ragnarok, they did.

and of course we see that continue a thousand times worse in the s*ries.

you are so right about the popularized character traits point. it’s like when people gossip about something, and as the word gets out to more people, it loses context and only leaves the very basic details of the gossip in the first place. that’s what they did with loki, pretty much. but that a thousand times over if this analogy even makes sense.

honestly do not even bother watching season 2 if you already know about the ending. i actually do think it was a little better than the first season. it was a little more interesting as well. but loki’s characterization was still HORRIFIC. there’s this interrogation type scene with one of the newer characters, this guy who works at the tva, and i guess they tried to make loki seem as though he’s still mischievous and working on his own accord instead of a goody two-shoes, pushover or whatever. idk man. whatever it was, it didn’t work.

and also they put this scene where he’s basically crying over mobius and various other tva workers to sylvie saying that he misses his friends (the friends in question being mobius and the most random tva workers ever) ??? 😭😭😭 i really do not believe that his ass was that devastated over these random ass characters who did not care about him…

basically, his personality was still more that of a silly little english man (not in a good way, trust me.) who works in a cubicle rather than a literal god/prince who speaks very eloquently and in old english. (taking this as an opportunity to say that i miss the old english/shakespeare in the park-esque way he and thor used to speak 😔 it was so fun.)

anyway this is very all over the place and i’m probably missing a few things but thank you so much for the ask!!! it was interesting to read.

[safetyobstacles]

I finished osnf after almost 2 months and

You know that feeling when you finish a piece of media you really enjoyed, whether it be a show or game or book. And now its over and you can never go back and experience it for the first time again.

That's how I feel :,)

I made a post while I watched the whole thing, it's like if I liveblogged but I stuffed it all into one very long post. So it's kind of all over the place. But if you went through the episode you could pinpoint exactly when i added to it lol

spoilers under here

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/733757650447335424/starting-o-segredo-na-floresta-now-im-either?source=share

thats the link to the post, its also just pinned to my blog until i start desconjuração

i would like to thank anyone who read my update post before i finished watching. and when they saw on EPISODE ONE that i was saying "dont take Thiago from me :,)". and nobody spoiled. that Thiago. dies.

:((((((((((((((((((((

also i got an irl friend of mine into ordem, she's watched the whole first series and is almost done with episode 2 of osnf. and her favourite character is Cris :) funny enough she recognized Rakin from league of legends but not anybody else

the fight against the deus da morte. SO COOL. THE CUTSCENE. bro the little buildup to the cutscene with the goo tentacles covering the screen. and the music. THE MUSIC. and then he went and hugged liz. and now she is old. and now she has no thiago. but at least she still has Gonzales' dog. probably.

the way Santo Berço died btw. ow. ouch. the imagery is gonna stick with me for a while. Cibele. he really did in Cibele like that. damn bro.

special shoutout to the Succ. rpg wouldnt be the same without it. and Felps for blindsiding me and then dying like 3 hours later.

also kinda crazy that cellbit can just keep pulling these random npc's out of his ass and making me care about them.

speaking of npc's, all of the Vulture's deaths were fucked but Murilo's made me extra sad idk why. his buddy bit him :(

i think my favourite scene outside of the liz, thiago, joui scene in the last episode, was the bit after they killed the big slug in the asylum. idk the pacing of it was just really cool to me, the drawing in the sludge and losing sanity without realizing. for me it set up this feeling of "you cant trust anything you dont know for certain about" for the entire rest of osnf.

that fucking house btw. i wanted them to leave that house the moment they got gregorio out of that room. i hate that house. i would like for that house to explode.

i want to put Arthur in a shoebox for safe keeping so that he may never get hurt again. Cesar too. Joui as well. and Liz.

ill probably take a week or two to mourn finishing this series before moving onto Desconjuração. which is a very fun word to type. probably will make another post like i did this time to put all my updates in as i watch it.

thanks ordem paranormal for injecting into my braincells i dont think ill ever be over you

dude im so sad about thiago you have no idea

[blackjackkent]

So. Circus combat!

We have four enemy combatants - our clown friend, plus the two dangerous animal handlers and the blink dog, whose name is Bitey Buddy and is probably about to live up to it.

I have a feeling the displacer beast might have been joining too if Hector hadn't busted the lock on its cage earlier.

Karlach immediately rages and oneshots one of the handlers, because she is MAD pissed about her boyfriend being put on display and treated like that by Absolutist thugs at what was supposed to be a fun time, and, uh...

I guess we could have guessed that, in retrospect. >.<

There are a bunch of cowering civilians hanging around. One of them comments, "I always knew I'd die at a circus," which really makes me wonder WHY THE HELL SHE IS HERE. XD

Interestingly, because they're doppelgangers, they aren't counted as humanoid, which means Hold Person doesn't work (my standard go-to crowd-control in a big fight). Hold Monster, presumably, would but only Gale has that and he is not here.

I had Jaheira turn into a saber-tooth tiger though which was badass.

Shoutout to this random bugbear named Fyodor who decided to join in the fight on our side! He missed every single attack he made during the fight but I respect him for trying.

Karlach then got the kill on the second handler as well, in a way that feels like it must be a glitch. She used Pommel Strike after missing her second attack, and despite it saying it does 1d4 damage and a potential stun, it instead knocked off all 14 of the handler's remaining hit points and killed him.

Go figure.

At this point Dribbles killed a fucking civilian with his first attack, so now Hector is PISSED. He and the others all just gathered around Dribbles and beat the everloving shit out of him.

Get his ass.

"A doppelganger," Shadowheart comments thoughtfully after the fight is over. "At least we didn't kill a real clown in front of an audience."

The lead doppelganger is carrying this note on him:

The He in question, I assume, is Bhaal, and this was all orchestrated by Orin. The Tribunal is curious though. Not sure what that's referring to.

Hector is REALLY unsettled by this whole experience. In the course of this day he has had sharp reminders of Karlach's determination to die free, as well as the fact that literally anyone he talks to going forward could potentially be a shapeshifter in disguise. All that on top of the fact that he just feels incredibly overwhelmed by the whole circus experience, even the "normal" parts.

I think there's a bit more to explore in this area and we'll finish looking around tomorrow, but for now, Hector needs a long rest in a big way.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Investment plans

@cullen-blue23 🧟💌⚔️ I have returned with my Wen Ning appreciation agenda! I keep imagining WWX discovering the Ghost General simps and immediately deciding to throw hands to defend his besties honour. WN is confused, but very flattered (and no longer feels safe being left alone with Lan Jingyi)

Some kind of part 2 to this one

This was an incredibly funny piece to write, shoutout to Lan Jingyi for seeing a business opportunity and running with it.

Wei Wuxian rushes through the Cloud Recesses, Suibian in hand, unsheathed - and that never happens unless there is a great emergency somewhere that he knows he can't fix with just Chenqing. There are very few such instances - one was when Lan Sizhui got kidnapped, and another was when some poor sod put a curse on Lan Wangji, and to this day nobody knows or dares ask what happened to either of those people. So to see the Yiling Patriarch (who's usually just fun and mischievous Wei-qianbei) exude murderous intent, everyone makes way for him to storm out of the Cloud Recesses without issue. Not that they're scared he'd kill them - but it's better to be safe than sorry.

Lan Wangji struggles to catch up to him, and that's saying something. "Wei Ying!"

"Leave me alone, I'm going to kill this Yan Bai person myself! How dare he!"

"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji tries again, finally reaching close enough to his husband to get a hold of his shoulder.

"What?! You've seen those ridiculous drawings and read those horrible stories too! Aren't you supposed to be righteous?!"

Lan Wangji is not going to take offense to that and he's not going to fight with Wei Ying in the middle of the Cloud Recesses where everybody can see. In fact, there won't be any fight at all.

"You can't kill Yan Bai."

"Like hell I can't, I've killed hundreds, what's one more!"

"We'll circle to that later, but the reason you can't kill him it's because he doesn't exist!"

Wei Ying blinks at his husband incredulously. "Lan Zhan, do you take me for a fool? What do you mean he doesn't exist? Then who created that ludicrous sexy Ghost General calendar? The fanfiction subscription service? The fan letters?!"

Lan Wangji sighs like the weight of the world rests on his shoulders. "Come with me, I'll tell you in private. And please put Suibian away."

---

Inside the jingshi, Wen Ning and Jingyi await. Now, Wei Ying is even more confused than before, joining Lan Wangji at the table. He takes a seat, and says, "Wei Ying, please meet Yan Bai." as he elegantly gestures towards Jingyi, who looks very much like Wen Ning down - a living corpse.

There is such tense silence in the jingshi that it feels suffocating. Jingyi has long accepted he's going to die today, he's said his goodbyes and even sent a last letter roasting Jin Ling express shipping to Jinlintai. All his affairs are in order, might as well get it over with.

"How much money did you make?" Wei Ying asks, his voice flat and neutral, and somehow scarier than when he's angry.

"I... Double my allowance, sir."

"Per month?"

"Per week... sir."

Wei Ying whistles lowly. "What did you spend it on?"

Lan Jingyi keeps quiet, eyes stubbornly squeezed closed.

"Well?"

"I cannot say."

"Why not?"

"It is forbidden."

Wei Ying rolls his eyes. "So is drawing porn, yet here you are."

"It's not - porn... it's-"

"Erotic art, whatever, same thing. I would know. So, where's the dough?"

"..."

"Lan Jingyi."

"We're saving up for something! It's - well, a surprise..."

"And you've decided to exploit Wen Ning for it?"

"It's not... exploiting. It's a... business. I overheard some people talking about him in a certain way and had an idea..."

The new information is nothing short of surprising, so Wei Ying turns to his friend. "Wen Ning, did you know about this?"

"...somewhat. Not to its full extent, but I agreed to the- stories."

"So then what's the big project that had you sell yourself out like this?"

"Please don't say that... I didn't... do that."

Wei Ying crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow. "I don't know, Wen Ning, I received a letter from Yunmeng-"

If Wen Ning could blush, he'd be beet red. "I didn't do anything for cash, I mean... all that you've heard about, I've done it... um, for fun..."

Wei Ying sighs so deeply he feels like he's taken up the whole air in the jingshi. This conversation is terribly embarrassing and he still wants to know what the hell they're saving up for.

"Here's how it's gonna go. Jingyi, you tell me what you've been investing in all this time, and I'll convince Hanguang-Jun over here not to punish you for the next 15 years."

Jingyi steals a look towards Wen Ning, and they seem to be having a silent conversation before Jingyi finally looks up at his seniors.

"We've been - the lotus pond we've been nursing in the Cloud Recesses died last spring, and we know how sad that made you. So we bought a piece of a lake near Caiyi and have hired someone specialized in lotus cultivation to help maintain them and make sure they don't die out like last time." A pitiful sigh, "But they're really expensive, even with all the help we got from Jinlintai... Jin Ling can't just give money out right now, so we had to... be creative. We actually got the idea at the last discussion conference, sect leader Nie dropped something about Yiling Laozu fanfiction selling really well in the past and, well..."

Wei Ying can do nothing but stare. Everyone - the kids, Wen Ning, even Nie Huaisang - all contributed to this one project that's more time-consuming than anything and that takes up a whole lot of money... and all that because he cried over the lotuses that dried up last spring instead of blooming. All that because they wanted him to be... happy.

He stands up from his seat abruptly, and Jingyi squeezes his eyes shut again, awaiting deliverance - instead he finds himself and Wen Ning pulled into a hug.

"Thank you."

Jingyi's eyes widen. "You're... not mad?"

"I am very mad. I married into this super rich sect for you lot to go sell porn for money?!"

"Wei-gongzi, it's not-"

"Quiet, Wen Ning! You should've just asked Lan Zhan for cash!"

"With all due respect, Hanguang-Jun is not adept at keeping secrets from you..."

"...fair. Still, all this was... a bit too much. Even if I appreciate it, it's not okay to do. So, there will be some kind of punishment for you, Jingyi."

"I know..." and he begins reciting, "...for lying, keeping secrets, making illicit money, drawing and reading pornographic material, distributing said material, pricing highly, not reporting earnings..."

"That's a long list of crimes to atone for. I'll leave Hanguang-Jun to do that. Wen Ning, come talk to me outside?"

"Yes."

---

"How do you feel... about all that?" Wei Ying asks as they stroll along the pathways around the jingshi. "The... materials, I mean."

"To be entirely honest... I am not that upset... You know I have not been very confident before... and this, surprisingly, helps a lot."

"Don't you feel... I don't know, objectified?"

A shrug. "Not really. Sure, it's a bit... weird to see so much... erotic material about me, but it's better than people calling for my death..."

Wei Ying sends him a sympathetic look. He wishes people could see him like that, kind and loving and soft, the way he truly is - nothing like the monster people accuse him to be.

"And anyway... I'm not entirely innocent either... so I'm not surprised there is, um, demand for such things."

"Right... uh, you should probably be a bit more on the down low with that in Yunmeng... I know people from there are really attractive but...like, I'm not trying to police what you do or anything-"

"It is fine, I understand what you mean." A conspirational smile. "I was planning to visit Qinghe next anyway, so you probably will not be receiving any more angry letters, hopefully... Though I must admit Hanguang-Jun's response was... quite hilarious."

Wei Ying chuckled. "He got the 'no bitches?' thing from Jingyi, which is why I think he won't punish the kid that harshly... but how do you feel about what he's done?"

"Well. It is... a bit excessive... but... I cannot say the idea is bad... I did get some of the proceedings myself after all..."

"Man, you guys have a whole business going on! Next thing you'll tell me is Sizhui's keeping the books or something."

"..."

"Wen Ning."

"..."

"WEN NING!"

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time! i'm sooo behind. monday we did voy's "unforgettable" and ds9's "the reckoning," tuesday we did voy's "living witness" and ds9's "valiant," and thursday we attempted to do ds9's "profit and lace" and skipped it just as we hit the credits, and then did instead did ds9's "time's orphan" and "the sound of her voice," and finally earlier today i finished "rpfot and lace" on 2x speed to get it over with as quickly as possible.

unforgettable (voy):

ironically an entirely forgettable episode

look, not to be a fucking shipper about it, but i don't know why they have this thing where janeway and chakotay both are and aren't in a romantic relationship and then every once in awhile have him run off with a lady. like, he has this big scene with her about mark and it's romantic but then he's also doing this? and then he also ends up with seven?? it's very like. will and deanna in tng but their situation was more clear-cut - they're exes who enjoy each other's company and they always ask before dating someone else or whatever. this is so weird. this whole thing is weird. voyager would be so good if it could just get its act together

i feel kind of bad for this lady, or i would if i cared, which i largely felt unable to do, because we shit talked her the whole episode. "yes captain give her access to this, to that." we were SO SURE this was another case of chakotay's horrible character judgment that we were waiting for her to stab him in the back the entire time

if at the end he forgets her and she forgets him what was the point? was it supposed to be poignant? because of the shipweirdness and the suspicion of her character i just couldn't get invested. it is a nice touch that he recorded it on paper though i guess

the reckoning (ds9):

SPEAKING OF WEIRD EPISODES.

let's get this out of the way. i don't like whatever lovey-dovey thing was happening between kira and odo. "i love watching you eat you do it with such gusto"? it's like theyre still being replaced with the pod people from his way. that face touch i have seen in gifs before and i was really excited to get to it but the dialogue + the aftershocks of his way made it a mixed bag for me. but i like watching you eat thing??? get real. who wrote this

i did like that he respected her wishes re: would she let a prophet jump her bones to fight a big armageddon battle. too bad he didn't do that in his way. i liked his talk with worf about it too :( they love their women :(

i was kind of hoping the pah wraith would either be someone hot or someone it would be fun to watch get beat up (winn<3). jake was unexpected, but it was cool that he was unexpected. really gave sisko some juicy stuff to work with

speaking of winn...i love the analysis of her character that she's jealous of sisko because he's closer to the prophets and has stronger faith or whatever. she is a bitter old crone i HAAAAATE HERRRRR

the cgi battle was weird. the sudden lore dump was weird. looked cool though!

living witness (voy):

i liked this one!!! emh episodes can be hit or miss but this one was really good i thought

did not like the part where he offered to off himself and let misinformation win if it would keep the peace or whatever but the rest was solid

it's weird to think he basically got duplicated into two very real copies not unlike john crichton and one of them will never see the crew again and might not even find out if they ever got home...and then when he does find out he'll realize they got home with like. another him

i cannot believe NONE of those museum artifacts were behind glass though. like that was begging to happen

also lol that one guy who basically did the equivalent of "i have black friends!" like come on...please.

my favorite part of this episode though was the mirrorverse like evil counterparts. evil janeway hot. tuvok smiling hot. android emh??? crazy. the data shoutout. madness. i'm HEARTBROKEN no one has giffed tuvok doing the evil smile. it made my day.

valiant (ds9):

i liked the end of this one but i think the middle really dragged. like we GET it creepy sult ship bad

it was insane how all these people were BABIES. they were so fucking young. and the bad vibes were bad right awayliterally what kind of fucking stanford prison experiment ass episode

although actually, it kinda reminded me of the plot of aos. everybody's at war, the senior officer dies, a bunch of people way too young to be doing those jobs get those jobs. so no one can say aos doesn't have precedent, but the people in aos LOOKED way older than these kids. also possibly maybe it is more realistic if the entire aos crew just gets themselves blown up

unfortunately this episode kinda highlights a problem i've been having with late seasons jakes, which is that now that he's grown up and no longer a cute kid or a teenager coming of age he has almost nothing to do. he's a reporter and sometimes? a fiction writer? but the problem with writers is that they write writers characters as some of the most pretentious assholes on earth. waiting for divine inspiration or some shit. like jake sisko is not chuck shurley. give me a fucking break. THAT SAID, the reporter thing could be interesting - think of how, even today, honest journalism when trying to report on wartime activities, especially war crimes, comes under fire - that could make for some compelling tv, especially because jake's dad is mr take-no-shit himself. they could give jake some substance to really work with if they wanted to. unfortunately most of the time he seems to be just There. rip.

oh i nearly forgot. odo realizing quark is in love with jadzia is such a fun parallel to quark realizing odo loves kira. it's e quark in my mind palace. absolutely 10/10 scene

time's orphan (ds9):

THIS ONE WAS SAAAAD this one made me cry really hard at the end :(

i mean the ending kind of rendered the whole episode pointless (we can't do that because we'd be erasing this molly! and then this molly accidentally erases herself) but it was well-acted enough that i mostly didn't care

also, absolutely charmed at teen molly hoarding the kickballs. we were cracking up during that entire scene. i wanted her to keep taking them sooo bad.

question of the day is if molly was living in isolation for ten years as a feral wildchild how did she get bangs

i did wonder at one point if this was a metaphor for situations in which the disability is so extreme the parents cannot care for the child, but then i went to memory alpha and apparently it was based on the concept of a fucking tng episode where they wanted to write out alexander because they hated him??? my brother in christ YOU PEOPLE are the ones putting children on the enterprise and then you just wind up HATING all of them?? death to the tng writers room i cannot believe this

absolutely gutting when kira was holding the baby she carried and talking about wanting other babies someday and odo was just standing there taking psychic damage. so cruel. so evil. i hope it comes up again <3

speaking of: ODO BEING A REAL ONE AND LETTING THE O'BRIENS GO. king <3

the sound of her voice (ds9):

THIS ONE ALSO A BUMMER???

actually my least favorite thing about this episode is that i got curious to see what this lady looked like in life when she wasn't a wrinkled corpse so i went to look up her actress. from the bottom of my heart the corpse was white and the actress who plays her was black. L for the ds9 team

loved the bit where she pretended to get eaten. she got me too for a second there

her and obrien being like fuck therapists! but you also can't talk to your friends or your wife. so um. therapist necessary evil ig. really funny. you know he had to have that little disclaimer because of deanna too <3

this was another weird episode because i feel like they set up on some discontent w sisko and kassidy and just...didn't follow through? i guess it'll come up later?? but it's also weird that they just like dropped that in there out of nowhere and forgot it halfway through the episode

i thought at the end o'brien was gonna be like someday this war is gonna be voer but instead he was like someday at least one of you is gonna die. bad pep talk buddy

idk. it was poignant i guess but man. what a bummer.

that said, the b plot of this was absolutely fantastic. quark trying to interfere with odo and kira's love life in order to do nefarious things: a+. e quark. odo LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH IT AS A THANKS FOR LISTENING TO HIM WHEN HE WAS MOONING OVER KIRA AND THEN HELPING THEM GET TOGETHER. ALSO A+. E QUARK. e quark is alive and well in my mind palace. i still hate the way odo and kira got together, but they felt totally natural in this episode, especially at the end when they watched quark think he won. 10000/10

profit and lace (ds9):

i wish i did not have eyes

okay, as previously listed, we got as far as the credits before tapping out. watching quark sextort that employee of his really brought me back to season 3 when i hated him genuinely and unironically and i did not enjoy that feeling. that's not his heart. it's character assassination

and anyway i can't stand the grand nagus's voice

potentially the concept of capitalists finding out women also spend money is funny but nearly everything else about this episode was excruciating. the nagus sexually harassing leeta. the nagus being a dick to nog. the sexism from quark which is so tired.

i did kind of enjoy the gay/crossdressing stuff at the end ESPECIALLY the gay kiss because it was shocking and fun, but it wasn't enough to save the rest of the episode, and bordered right on either being trans positive for trans inclusive ("woman enough for me!" could easily be interpreted either way, for example, but i was not inclined to give this episode the benefit of the doubt.) i do think it was really he fucked that guy and then wound up mooning over him, but then they ruined the joke by saying it was his female hormones. i guess he got top and bottom surgery That Fast? absolutely crazy how easy that is in the 2300s.

the hug with odo at the end was funny and then not funny for the same reasons

AND THEN. JUST WHEN YOU THINK HE'S LEARNED SOMETHING. he hits up the girl for oomox anyway. i HATE this interpretation of him

anyway, two more zek episodes to do, and they won't even have gay quark. ugh. 0/10. perhaps half a point for the gay kiss.

TONIGHT: voy's "demon" and "one."

[pleuvoire]

julia talking about kamen rider being at its best when it’s about two boys made me want to catalogue the kamen rider seasons that are about two boys. “about two boys” here being assumed to mean the double riders formula of two heroes who work together and support each other but maybe also bounce off of each other in interesting complex ways

of course we have rider 1971. the original. no notes

v3 in its last stretch, of course. no notes

i haven’t seen stronger but i’m pretty sure it’s about two boys but one of them is a girl. no notes

kuuga is complicated because godai and ichijou are such an iconic partnership/duo/marriage but at the same time godai being The One And Only Hero is such a major thematic part of the story and ichijou being just a normal human who supports him the best he can but can’t fully meet godai on his level is. also a thing for sure. (thinks for days and days about “watch my henshin” and its symbolism) i’m gonna count it but it’s an interesting and unique specimen

ryuki is about MANY boys but ren and shinji are an iconic duo. pioneered the two boys format of being constantly clashing foils who still work together to fight monsters

i keep saying blade is ultimately about kenzaki and hajime’s relationship but i don’t think it qualifies for this category. world-shattering star-crossed romance is not the same as double riders who work together and support each other also no one in this show can ever work together for one minute. blade is absolutely about four boys in general though

hibiki is about a big guy and a little guy. not sure if it counts because it definitely revolves around hibiki and asumu as the two main characters and their relationship but at the same time a wise adult mentoring a teenager is again a way different dynamic than double riders who work together. so i’m disqualifying it. shoutout to hibiki and asumu though i love them soooooo much

den-o is kind of about two boys with ryoutarou and momotaros but there are also three other boys in there so it’s about five boys. but momotaros is kind of the main and central one so i think it also counts as being about two boys? in any case the core dynamic of working together and supporting each other is absolutely there so it 100% counts in spirit either way

i WISH wataru had another boy then he wouldn’t be so sad and alone :(

tsukasa and daiki are absolutely two boys but to the tune of bad romance by lady gaga

W THE ULTIMATE TWO BOYS RIDER. WE HAVE NOT SEEN TWO BOYS LIKE THIS SINCE THE SHOWA ERA which makes sense since it was conceived as a showa callback. NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL TWO BOYS

ooo is ABSOLUTELY about two boys. took the ren and shinji format and honed it to Two Boys perfection. and, in a fun bonus, date and gotou are ALSO two boys and the most “double riders” guys to ever not actually be main riders

fourze is not about two boys, it is about a whole friend group. yayyy friendship :)

no one in gaim likes each other

emu and parad are kind of a stealth Two Boys but the relationship takes so long to fully bear fruit i don’t think it counts

BUILD: NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL TWO BOYS!!!!! YOU CAN’T GET MUCH MORE TWO BOYS THAN THIS!!!!! once again a series conceived as a showa throwback. they need to do this more often

sougo and geiz are two boys in the way of a cute tsundere bl manga but idk how much they are two boys in the way of kamen rider

no one in reiwa is two boys :( this is so sad can we get another showa throwback season. hanasaku is two girls though yknow they have a very v3 and riderman dynamic now that i think of it. i’m counting it

[rillette]

d AND d ?!?!

everybody wakes up the next morning IN HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. rowan is princess peach, anne is the mcr black parade outfit, atlas is this weird shadow deer creature costume we found on pinterest, and elias is suicide squad harley quinn. theo still hasnt come home. they all go to the casino and adonia (sailor jupiter) is like have you seen theo he was supposed to be here for a meeting. and theyre like no. so she sends them with another girl named cori (daphne blake) to go see if they can find him in town. rowan rizzes cori up slightly and they hold hands but its a little bit pity hand holding on coris part. cori takes them to a dude named sam's (fred jones) house and hes like again ?! and shes like again :(. and annes like ??? and sam tells him that theo is the 6th arp member to randomly go missing after an event, the others being zaiza, nikoleta, reyna, niya, and thana. sam and cori look especially depressed over thana. anyways everyone comes back and adonias like oh. you didnt find him. uhhhh. well. how about you 4 takes elias and you go find sole in southern tarrin hell give you supplies and info maybe. and everyones like ok and leaves. they get horses!! i named the horses after the jli <3 theres tora bea teddy and gold. everyone starts heading through the woods and they get attacked by two lesbian mama bears and they fight them. then it gets nighttime so they set up camp. in the morning atlas goes for a walk and (god help me i had to narrate this) elias/cori/rowan/anne have a 4some. i made them roll preformance. anne was the only one to fail so he got blue balled. they move on from...that and head to a district called lyona which is really good buds with the arp cus theyre super poor and totally for revolution. cori and elias tie up the horses while anne atlas and rowan go explore the town. they come across an elderly owlin whos only line is me saying "2 gold for soup ?? :D" like 5 times. everyone loved the old man owlin. they all head to a tavern for the night and anne is woken up in the middle of the night by a noise at the window. he investigates it and finds a note reading "Anoreksie wants you gone -C.C." with a poison ivy drawing. (anoreksie is the name of the government anne used to be a soldier for) elias is also slightly depressed throughout this entire session because his roommate/best friend is gone lmao btw

AWWWWWW jli horses!! shoutout to the halloween costumes, i love that all these characters exist in the dnd dimension. sound like u guys had a fun session!!!!

[flintsdragon]

it started out with a song!!!

I've yet to see the broadway revival of merrily we roll along (although I desperately need to) but I have watched the first production of the show that Maria Friedman directed in the west end several times (shoutout @dolorianpolymath for insisting that I do like five years ago now??) I am still manifesting a New York trip where I see this show before it closes, but in lieu of that, the announcement of the revival cast recording was the most exciting news I've heard in a while. this is the first time I've had a chance to really sit down and listen (with my copy of Finishing The Hat by my side) so im going to ramble about how I feel about the whole thing now:

overture

like the rest of the show, this has been a profoundly overlooked. overture, its jazzy, it sets you so perfectly in the eras of the show, it makes me cry, needless to say it could've kept on going! gimme just the orchestrations of the entire show and I would enjoy it just as much <3

HEY WHERE THE FUCK IS THE HILLS OF TOMORROW

since when is "may we come to trust the dreams we must fulfill" irrelevant to the show???

merrily we roll along

this narrative device that is literally directly lifted from the ancient greeks that people decided was too confusing in the 80's. sounds like they're looking us directly in the eyes saying "I guess it made sense the whole fucking time, didn't it?"

that frank

feels like an audio play more than a modern cast recording. much more interested in carrying you through the show than being like "Hey guys look Lindsay Mendez is here! There's Jonathan Groff!" character/plot centric over celebrity boasting.

old friends-- like it was

old friends is a top tier Sondheim song of all time. on top of being really fun, it perfectly canonizes this relationship dynamic in a way you can apply to any story. Case in point, I made a letterboxd list about it earlier this year!

Trouble is Charlie, that's what everyone does, blames the way it is on the way it was. on the way it never, ever was.

and like it was really fucking gets to me, it gets to me more and more every year. the brutal underbelly of nostalgia, amirite ladies?!!

Franklin shephard inc.

"Listen- Frank does the money thing very well, but you know what, other people do it better. And Frank does the music thing very well, and you know what, no one does it better."

tour du force from Radcliffe, fucking good for him! what else is there to say! its like the realest song ever. the whole money refrain is really interesting coming from Daniel, because like he's part of a unique group of actors that had their breakout in massively successful franchises and now choose to use their clout to get fun, interesting indie projects made (ie. Kristen Stewart, Elijah Wood, Robert Pattinson post-Twilight, pre-The Batman) Give him a Tony (and give me the video of him in the recording studio)

old friends

its really interesting to see where old friends falls in the plotting of the show, because unlike not a day goes by, we aren't heartbroken by this not reprise reprise because we are starting to understand these characters but we don't fully love them like we will in an hour. so this gets to mainly be fun.

Halfway through listening to the song and trying to formulate an opinion on it I realized that I was literally listening to fucking Jonathan Groff, Daniel Radcliffe and Lindsay Mendez sing Old Friends in a Merrily cast recording and got so happy I could cry. what a gift!!!!

growing up

secret good thing going reprise. capitalism ruins everything! they all want the same thing and they still end up where they end up I can't handle it :(((((( I can't help but feel we don't really need the Gussie stuff. I guess that seeing someone who has no dog in the fight in terms of Frank's soul is an important foil to Charlie and Mary.

third transition

the harmony is so pretty

omg not a day goes by

lets GO Katie Rose Clarke! I've been truly obsessed with this song since I first heard it. It just grabs you by the shoulders and stares in your soul and shakes you around a bit and then it lets you go and you're like holy the fuck where am I. no shade to Katie Rose Clarke (who kills) but Bernadette's version is the only version.

Now You Know

wow this show really moves. we're already at now you know. I guess I have bootleg brain. fun story I saw Lindsay Mendez in Godspell at Circle in the Square like 12 years ago and she scared me when she was running through the audience and high fived me. I'll never ever forget it. Legend behavior always.

every "right" from Groff is iconic lololol

Gussie's opening number

oh Gussie. I don't think she's a horrible character but she's a narrative device. a two and a half dimensional character, to use Sondheim's term. cannot over-emphasize how good Krystal Joy Brown sounds though

It's a Hit!

"If it only even runs a minute, at least it's a wedge"

it's a bop! the most meta-song of the whole show. you love to see it!

fourth transition- the blob part 1

the transition slide is so fucking gorgeous I could listen to it all day.

I initially feel compelled to say the blob is prescient but I know it's not meant to be. It was written by Steven Sondheim in 1980 about the 60s, and it's reflective of how this sect of society has always been and always will be. It feels diminutive and inaccurate to call it prescient.

growing up (reprise)

Gussie's power is that she takes control of the pace of the show. its manic time-traveling nature has to stand still and listen to her every word.

good thing going

"it could've kept on growing, instead of just kept on"

makes me cry before it even starts *bangs my head on the table* the pain in Radcliffe's voice is killing me.

"we want to hear it again"

I truly feel like I'm in a horror film every time I hear this line. It is so fucking brilliant it feels like it must've come from lived experience because how do you even think of something so subtle that feels like such a direct attack on our characters emotional evolution. give in to the encore and you'll never keep on growing.

the blob- part II

the interruptions during the encore are fucking perfect- because its like yeah of course they didn't really want to hear it again- the blob can't know what it really wants that's the whole point! its the blob!

Frank and Charlie singing louder hurts me personally because they don't just want to be heard they want to keep singing together.

fifth transition

the tonal & rhythmic shifts are thrilling- I think it would be fun to sing this at an audition or something lol

Bobby and Jackie and Jack

the Irish jig music is so fucking funny

Both Beth and Gussie are undersung but it's nice that Beth gets to be funny and not just the stereotypical long suffering wife. two and a half dimensional!

not a day goes by (reprise)

I think Mary being literally in love with Frank is realistic but doesn't provide much to the story in the grand scheme of things.

Groff just has one of the most lovely voices on planet earth. they all sound so lovely together.

sixth transition

how did you ever get to be here?

more mournful the more we move backward. real. devastating

Opening Doors

"Russian Tea Room" feels dated without feeling actively offensive? a smart change.

groff's "I saw My Fair Lady/ I sort of enjoyed it" is so fucking funny! I love when line deliveries prove that actors get what lines are fun!

they all have so much chemistry its unreal. this feels like their polygraph test video.

the horns!!! the horns are incredible!

I love "up a tone" it showcases their chemistry instantly

can you imagine being in the room when Lindsay, Jonathan, and Daniel sang together for the first time??? I think I would pass out

seventh transition

a child??????

our time

the decrescendo at the end truly almost killed me. this song makes me so emo already and groff was born to sing it. it got me so bad!

final thoughts

I'm really hoping they're filming a pro-shot because they clearly marketing.the shit. out of it. so why not? its star studded and historical and I would like to see it!!!!