#i have nothing against them i just feel like more caution should be exercised towards snakes than spiders and wasps

[bludraws094]

spiders 🤝 wasps

"everyone hates me even though im actually (usually) chill"

[muse-oleum]

Need – Elijah Mikaelson x Gia

This was first posted over on ao3 but I figured I would bring it over here to help revive the #gilijah tag a little bit.

Beware, below be smut.

He really ought to purchase a bed frame.

Although, in retrospect, it probably wouldn’t last long, between the two of them. He looked at the woman sleeping soundly by his side, her head pillowed on his arm, her cheek pressed against his bicep. There was a vulnerability about her just now that he hadn’t seen since the beginning, back in that bar where he’d told her he would mentor her.

Somehow, he doubted he had ever envisioned it would turn out like this.

Gia murmured something in her sleep, turning further on her side and closer to him. Unwilling to disturb her, he allowed it, running a hand through her hair, waiting for her to settle back down to sleep.

The young vampire was an enigma. He supposed he really should be more worried about how well Marcel had pinpointed this particular weakness of his—this need to fix, to mend the jagged pieces of a broken soul. And, in order to willingly become a vampire, she would have had to be beyond broken, past the point of no return but not so far as to be completely unreachable. At least Marcel had learnt a valuable lesson: only turn those who know it is coming. Exercise caution on all fronts, watch out for them and for them, do not leave them running unchecked.

This was an ideal he had once held onto so strongly he could still feel some echo of it.

Of course, back then, the Strix had been an elite, the vampire sireline, the work of one of his first lifetimes and crushed mercilessly into the dust by his father and his own devotion to his family.

The fact that Gia was not of his own sireline but that of his brother’s should have disconcerted him too. But he was far too consumed by more pressing matters, most concerning of which was his sister’s current predicament. He sighed, running his free hand through his hair. His siblings seemed to find new ways of giving him grey hair every day, metaphorically speaking.

“Stop thinking about it,” came a sleepy voice from somewhere below his chin.

He felt her move, her hair tickling his arm when she propped herself up on her elbows to look at him. At the beginning, her defiance had been nothing short of irritating; then, amusing, and now? Now he had another, much more visceral reaction to the stern look she was giving him.

Her brown eyes studied him under dark lashes minutely narrowed, straight at him.

“We’ll find a way to help your sister, in the meantime, since Marcel is watching over her and there’s no way he’s letting anything happen to her tonight, you should get some sleep before the no doubt batshit insane day tomorrow has in store for us.”

It was so easy, the way she said “us”, as if it cost her nothing to include herself into the equation; she, a young vampire with trust issues, embroiled in their family’s business and still swimming. There was, however, a slight note of regret when she mentioned Marcel. His fingers flexed against her scalp.

He longed to suck it out of her.

Desire, for a vampire, was a powerful feeling, almost impossible to repress once let out, like a wild animal that refused to be caged in again. Over the centuries, he had had countless lovers; some had counted more for him than others, some he had actually loved and others he had taken to bed to satisfy a physical need fueled purely by lust. It had been a long time since someone, somehow, had the potential to encompass all three categories at once.

That scared him more than anything.

Gia was still looking at him, her head tilted to the side, eyes narrowed less in suspicion and more in pleasure as she leaned into his touch. He grasped the back of her head, massaging her neck and relishing in the little sigh she gave him. Slowly, giving her time to back away should she prefer to, he leaned in towards her, angling his body above hers, still covered by the bedsheets he had thrown over them earlier. She held his gaze, hers now sultry, pupils dilated and he knew she wanted him again.

He crashed his lips onto hers with a force that would have made a human bleed, but would only momentarily bruise for her. His tongue caressed hers, chasing away any remnants of her regret over Marcel, pining her down under him as his hands tore away the sheets to grasp her thighs. She gasped when he hooked one over his hip, his mouth moving down her neck to her breast, flattening his tongue against the sensitive skin, growling when she moved to press herself against him, her hands raking through his hair.

He swirled his tongue to the rhythm his fingers beat inside of her, drawing another gasp. She was teasing him, testing him, holding it back.

He wanted it all.

Slowly, he increased the pressure of his fingers, his thumb massaging her in the exact same way his tongue was still latched onto her, and she knew he was doing it on purpose. He nipped at her, none too gently, and she arched her back, helpless against the tingles of pleasure running through her. It was almost painful, his teeth on her breast and his fingers inside her too much, and she cried out his name in agony, the kind only ecstasy could bring.

She knew he wasn’t done with her the moment she felt his mouth leave her breast to travel down her stomach. Her thighs clenched involuntarily, anticipation mounting even as she still vibrated from the high he’d just given her.

He growled when he licked up her folds and she nearly came again, just from the sound, so unlike him and so very… vampiric. And then he dove in and all thoughts flew from her brain as his tongue began a familiar pattern, one the fingers caressing her stomach mimicked, creeping up towards her breasts. She bore down against him, needing to feel more. His other hand kept her hips down on the bed, keeping her from chasing her own pleasure.

She was at his mercy.

She didn’t mind it.

He licked into her slowly, his nose brushing her clit and she moaned, loud enough for all of New Orleans to hear. Elijah smirked, pressing a kiss right where his tongue had been, before sucking, hard. Gia shook under him, completely undone, and he swore under his breath, his erection hard and aching against his thigh. He bit her thigh, letting her catch her breath in a moment of uncanny generosity, before kissing his way back up her body, lingering slightly longer than necessary upon her breasts, desperate to tease another one of those delightful moans out of her.

Her hips crashed against his, a breathy sound that sounded like his name leaving her lips, and he sank into her, the relief so profound that he nearly came. She was perfect, matching the rhythm of his hips seamlessly, her breasts pressed flat against his chest. He snaked a hand under her, bringing her up to straddle him, her neck arching at the change in pressure. He raked his eyes over her, his teeth biting down hard on his lips, watching as she rode him towards another orgasm. Of their own volition, his thumbs caressed up her thighs to play with her nipple again, a fascination with them he couldn’t shake. She ground down on him in retaliation and he could not help but moan at the feeling.

She was lost in her rhythm and he matched it, his own pleasure mounting until he felt as if his groin was going to combust and then she bore down one final time, hand crashing against the wall behind him, and the thought of her leaving a hole in his wall had him choking out her name, hips stuttering against hers, spilling inside her.

Gia’s breathy moans were the only things he could hear in the haze of his own pleasure, only dimly aware of the fact that he was cradling her to him, his hands running down her back soothingly. Her muscles were still grasping at him, overstimulated, and he momentarily marveled at the way she could arouse him again so soon. Gently, he kissed the side of neck, trying to bring his breathing back under control, his hands settling against her hips as he mouthed beneath her ear.

She swiveled her hips and he groaned, raking a hand through her hair, letting her take the lead. He knew he wouldn’t hear the end of it anytime soon, but by the gods did he need it.

He rested his head back against the wall, his eyes catching on the slight dent she had made. Helplessly, he arched his back, thrusting up into her, relishing in the sight of her eyes rolling back, neck arched, chest heaving.

She was delicious, and all his to enjoy.

Flipping them over, he let go, allowing his vampire side to take over, thrusting down into her with such a force her fingers tore through the bedsheets, nails sharp and biting on the flesh of his shoulders before she raked them down his back. Pleasure overtook him so strongly he cried out her name against her neck, her own orgasm washing over him, sharpening his pleasure into something almost unbearable.

And still, the voice in his head would not quiet. He wanted more. More, more, more.

Of her.

[fellominaarcher]

Got Married -

YOO JIMIN; KARINA

6. "Beauty, you are."

chapters

approx. word counts: 4047

The first night in a bed together...

Nothing dirty or unholy happened that night, but the two talked until Karina was soundly asleep.

She shifted on the bed. "You're not sleepy, yet?" asked the Aespa leader.

Half lidded eyes, her hand cupping her left cheek. Jimin was facing the 'wife'.

Y/N removed some strands of hair from Karina's face. "No." She simply answered.

Tonight, Y/N's admiration was more readily apparent and radiant as she was intently observing the girl in front of her.

"Is everyone out?" asked the older one.

Y/N's eyes glanced towards the door and then back to the girl. "I suppose, as it's quiet now."

The Aespa main dancer sighed in relief and comfort given that she was very worn out.

The younger one swiftly rose from her bed and turned out the lights before going back to bed.

She's now resting on her side, facing the older girl. "Are you really that tired?" she inquired.

She blinked her eyes open. "Yes, you and I both know that doing this job means sacrificing our health," she said, cracking a small smile.

Jang Y/N sneered a little, not in a sarcastic manner but just a way to respond.

"I completely agree."

Jimin swallowed and cleared her throat. "What do you think about being in this show?" the damn question.

Y/N thought it for a moment before responding.

"At first, it was frightful."

The woman inhaled. "Up until this point, I still find this terrifying, especially as an idol and I feel like I'll always be walking on eggshells." she explained slowly.

"For everything that I do."

It is true that idols need to exercise extra caution in all they do, even when they are breathing and eating.

One was despised for being a sluggish dancer, but everyone knows that's not the case.

Another person was despised for dating or the way she enjoyed her strawberries.

Such hatred that there were even falsified allegations against them.

There are no room for idols.

Karina giggled a little. "That's so true, I am hated for face and my pre debut issue was a thing too." She is now giving her side of the tale.

"I enjoy being an idol but I need a getaway sometimes, a break would be okay." Karina proceeded.

They revealed a little of their private lives in addition to the difficulties and rewards of being an idol.

About the people in their group, their family circumstances in general, such as the number of siblings, or what had happened at school.

The two of them basically breaking one other's ice and reshaping it into something positive.

The entire night is theirs alone, and maybe it will bloom into something good and comforting.

Almost a week later....

The cameras are rolling right now as they begin filming for a new episode.

The director kept a close eye on everything on the monitor in front of him.

Karina and Y/N were in the kitchen while Y/N cleaning the table as Karina washed the dishes.

Lunch has ended.

"I know right, that was weird" Karina replied, as they talked about unrelated topics.

It's good to see that they are getting closer; It's believed it has been about a month since they first met.

Although sometimes, there were awkwardness here and there.

But they overcame it as it was for the sake of the ones watching.

"What if we have our day out together?" Y/N suggested as she purposefully coughed.

Karina immediately reinserted the plate into the washbasin and shut off the water.

Don't waste water, okay?

She leaned back against the kitchen counter as she turned around and glanced at the DayDream lead vocalist with a hint of puzzlement.

She used the apron to wipe her hands as well while she was at it.

This caused Y/N to pause what she was doing and turn to face the older female.

She put her palm on the table and added, "Yeah, I said what I suggested."

Karina nodded. "Perhaps we should let the crew know about it though." answered Karina.

The DayDream member said, "I know, I'm telling them right now," with a small smile.

That we'll be spending the day together, let me think for a moment where we should go.' While speaking, Y/N stroked her chin.

All Y/N could think of was, "Random but let's fly to Busan after tomorrow," as she made a thinking look and that was the only thing she could think of.

Karina was somewhat taken aback. "Bu...san?" She stumbled over her words.

She chuckled gently in disbelief at the girl's proposal.

"This is so sudden, why?" asked the beauty.

Y/N shrugged it off. "Because this is our show, and we should improvise as well, as we're the stars," she pointed out.

"Right now in my mind I have been contemplating what we can do in Busan, from the minute we come to our last day, day to night." She proceeded her statement.

Her eyes nearly pleading with the Aespa's leader. "Also, it's a quick trip and rushing trip" She said again, pouting a little.

"There are absolutely no plans at all!" a broad grin from Y/N.

Nothing was on Karina's mind either, as she was already picturing what they could do together.

To determine how she overcame her fear and let herself fall in.

She agreed by nodding. "They ought to book the tickets right away since I really like it." Karina grinned in answer.

After tomorrow, in Busan...

Fans and the media were already aware that the "newlyweds" were travelling to Busan because news in this industry travels quickly.

They have arrived in Busan, boarded the aircraft, exited, and are currently walking towards the vehicle that will pick them up.

With their phones and cameras, so many people are waiting for them outside.

The process of waiting just to most likely to tweet about how they met an Aespa and a DayDream member.

Perhaps some of them would make a video and upload it to TikTok, probably with some edits or whatever they could come up with.

"As always, there were many people," Jimin murmured as she surveyed the scene.

It's now time for them to navigate through the crowds of fans and possibly some Dispatch reporters.

Y/N instantly joined their arms and tugged Karina closer to her.

Karina was taken aback by this unanticipated gesture and took a look at Y/N, unable to comprehend what was happening to her.

She didn't think much about it and simply left it as she started to feel a little nervous as well.

"I'll keep you safe," Y/N said in her ear, sending thrills down her spine.

She wasn't expecting to be able to hear the lead vocalist of Daydream's voice that near, and the ticklish whisper made it nervous for her.

Under the influence of Jang Y/N, Jimin once more became timid, heated up, and internally turbulent.

Y/N are now guiding her as they are assisted by their separate staffs and they make their way to the airport's main entrance.

The staff was attempting to push people aside, and the bodyguards were keeping watch.

When Y/N noticed a large crowd approaching, she immediately changed the hold she had on the girl.

She separated their arms, but since she was a little taller, it was simple for her to put her arm around Jimin's shoulder.

Jimin immediately threw her arm around Y/N's back after observing this.

Embracing one another so closely.

They were both donning identical baseball caps, which they had no idea would match today.

They finally made it out of the crowd after a terrible a matter of seconds.

They inhaled deeply and gave themselves some time to gather themselves.

Successfully entered the car, and the sea of people caused them to start sweating.

The car departed from the airport out of fear that they would miss the hourly hotel check-in deadline.

They finally deposited their stuff in the room after an hour had passed since check-in.

Jimin's breath was a little laboured and she was curled up in a spreading star position on the bed.

Y/N emerged from the bathroom, smirking at Jimin.

She walked towards the bed and sat on it, next to Jimin's form, who was lying on the bed.

Jimin became aware of this. "Are you good?" asked the girl.

"Yeah, I'm good!" Y/N replied cheerfully.

Y/N's smirk intensified. "Let's go!" she hushed in an enticing way.

Hearing that prompted Karina to sit up straight on the bed and stare at the girl in complete shock.

The younger one nodded, saying, "Come with me, we still have a little bit of time before the filming!" as she took the girl's hand.

Y/N released her hand. Our wallets, hold on! She instructed the Aespa leader, "Bring it!"

Karina laughed as she observed this antic since she thought it was so adorable.

Wallets and hotel room cards were among the first things the two took.

"Your money, cards and identification card, put it in my wallet."

Suggested by Y/N.

Jimin was astounded by this and asked, "Are you sure?" before pausing.

Let Me Know - Jimmy Brown

She grasped the older girl's hand and nodded without hesitation, assuring her.

"Trust me," Jang Y/N said.

As Y/N handed Jimin her wallet, she instinctively loaded it with everything she needed while grinning cockily.

They put on their shoes, and Y/N peeked her head out first just to make sure there were no fans or paparazzi following them.

"Madame, the area is secure." Y/N acted like a spy as they had fun.

Jimin laughed. "You're so cute!" Her words of admiration tumbled out.

She was aware of this, but she chose not to dwell on it.

Before a voice called them out, the two were leaving in silence.

They both turned back. "Where are you two going?" They were discovered by a member of the film team.

"We're getting some fresh air," Karina replied, attempting to conceal Y/N.

Protective there, huh?

He grinned, and responded with a few nods. "Be careful!" he yelled-whispered.

The crew urged them to flee before others caught up with them.

Unfortunately, some of the filming workers and the director are currently outside. They're talking about something connected to WGM.

The two, in all honesty, couldn't care less if they were discovered or not right now, be it the WGM staff, Dispatch, or the fans.

After waiting for ten minutes, they hurriedly exited the hotel and got into a cab to head to the Shinsegae Department Store.

The two females forget about the masks as they cautiously make their way around the shop wearing their caps.

Jang Y/N, however, retorted, "Fuck that, let's go!"

"Let's go grab some Boba." offered Jimin.

At least two or three teenagers appear to have seen them as they are waiting for their drinks.

In Korea, the 'newly wed' are currently in trend and garnering interest.

Every auntie would turn on the TV, and kpop enthusiasts would go to great lengths to at least watch their show.

One of the teens approached them a little bit closer, raised her phone, and took pictures of them.

When Y/N became aware of this, she bowed her head at the girl and gave her a smile.

Jimin grabbed their drinks. "Let's go!" she tugged at Y/N's shirt.

Jimin did the same thing; she waved at the teen girl who had taken their photos after spotting her.

They went around the store after finishing their beverages and talking about various things.

Even though they didn't buy anything, the two girls visited a store of clothing and tried on some items.

It was Jimin's idea; she thought it would be enjoyable but made sure not to push herself too hard to avoid irritating the staff.

She tried on some outfits, some grandma's clothes, and even performed as them. She also took on the role of the nasty aunty from a Korean drama.

The two were giggling hysterically over her antics.

They continued to laugh, albeit discreetly, even after the personnel warned them for being too loud.

Y/N dressed up in old man attire and pretended to be a grandfather. She also dressed up and pretended to be on a fashion catwalk.

It was nearing one hour plus that they do that and looking around clothes, talked about what they prefer to wear.

The two girls are having a lot of fun together while the WGM director and a cameraman follow them around secretly.

Recording videos of them, going through it later to see what they can use for the show later.

Invasion of privacy? Typical for idols, we're assuming?

Now they're outside, the sun is about to set in an hour and they decided to go to Millak Waterside Park.

It was a few minutes walk to the park, the two was playing tag instead and jogged around the park.

Y/N successfully caught Jimin, she pulled her not too hard by the shirt.

She laughed at Y/N. "Ah you got me!" she shrieked as the two slowed down.

Growing tired of the chasing game, Y/N walked by her side. "We really went around the park." she said to the Aespa leader.

Jimin sighed, "Yes, we did." she answered lovingly while donning a gentle smile.

Meanwhile, the cameraman who almost tripped following the two up.

"Oi, don't let them out of your sight!" Mr Director scolded him, the two were so chaotic the whole time.

He was hitting the cameraman multiple time. "Look, look they're going there!" he shouted in his face.

The Director rolled on the floor like a spy undercover and followed by the cameraman who jumped out of the hiding place.

"THIS IS A GOLD MOMENT!" he yelled to acknowledge the cameraman.

It's somehow a little comedic the efforts they're making into tailing the so called newly wed.

The two were trying their best to not get caught but somehow they're seen by the people around.

"Yah, they're now at the ship-like statue over there!" the cameraman pointed.

Annoyed, he wanted to hit the guy. "Oi, it's Diamond Cruiser!" He said the name of the ship-like thing the couple were standing in.

Mr Director nodded once and firmly made his way behind the trees nearby.

Followed by the henchman.

In the camera, they're only talking, laughing like drunk people and all of sudden Y/N did push-ups.

Jimin was challenged by Y/N to act like a gorilla and it was accepted, she did it but only for a while because she couldn't.

She couldn't because she instantly laughed at the thought of doing it.

Mr Director hummed, "These two have potential, don't you think?" said him, he was facing the cameraman.

Now it's the cameraman turn to hit the Director many times. "YAH MOTHERFUCKER, LOOK!" He yelled into his face.

He pushed the Director's face so he would look at the couple.

Focusing back on the couple, they're calm now and not doing anything chaotic or crazy anymore.

Probably because they're tired.

Sunset landing trip playing...

"Face that side, you're Rose and I am Jack from Titanic" Y/N said, as she asked the girl to turn around.

Jimin spread her arm and Y/N stood behind her, their fingers touched then she ran her fingers through her arm.

Their heights are just perfect, for each other and for them to see the view from the Diamond Cruiser.

It's almost perfect as the sun was already setting and the orange hue illuminated their faces.

The breeze was also blowing just nice and it wasn't too strong.

Y/N's hands are now holding Jimin's waist, "The world is yours" whispered softly by Y/N.

"Even the stars too?" Jimin asked.

She nodded "Yes, it's all yours. You are the addiction and the wind that blows the flower, Karina" she metaphorically said to her.

"That's your beauty." Y/N ended.

Jimin's head turned towards Y/N. "What does it mean?" asked her, looking at Y/N with curiosity building inside her.

Jang Y/N swore she was falling in love with the view before her eyes. Jimin's side profile made her heart skip.

She was trying to take in the beauty that was laid in front of her, their bodies are so close now.

From her hair that the wind is blowing right now to the hint of sunset in her eyes, the curve of her nose and last, her perfectly shaped lips.

Jimin faced Y/N and looked at her in the eyes "Is that your perspective towards me?" Jimin wanted to know.

The soft sound of the water hitting the tides. "Has always been beautiful but it was enhanced today," Y/N explained.

"You look really beautiful today," Y/N praised her again.

There are colors of sunset painted in Y/N's eyes too and that's where Jimin's eyes laid to.

Unexpectedly, Jimin's heart fluttered at all of this as their activities flashed back into her mind.

The holding hands, the running together and the risk of getting caught.

She realized it thrilled her and awoken the passion inside of her.

It was absolutely unreal to feel but she was scared herself too and the atmosphere right now is light.

So carefree, as if the world belonged to them, and her heart began to skip a beat.

Their faces were so near, and Karina had her eyes closed as Y/N gently leaned against her.

However, the girl turned away from the attempted kiss and leaned her face back.

Upon coming to her senses, Y/N turned her body away from the girl while mentally cursing herself.

Jimin turned aside and stopped in place, her breathing quickening and her heartbeat suddenly accelerating.

Y/N felt terrible and sincerely regrets trying to kiss the older female.

"Jimin, I'm really sorry." she apologized, she felt so terrible.

She apologized three times and Jimin was still staring at her dead, there were no emotions in her face.

Jimin sighed, "It's alright, apology accepted." she stated calmly.

Y/N didn't say anything else but to nod to her words.

"Let's go, we have a dinner to catch!" the beauty reminds Y/N.

Jimin walked away first and followed by Y/N from behind, they have a dinner with WGM crew at the hotel.

Sure, some awkwardness is built between the girls right now.

The walk back to the hotel didn't contain any words except for the common ones.

Mr Director and the cameraman was surprised to see the interaction between the girls.

They agreed that, in order to respect the idols' privacy, they shouldn't show the almost-kiss.

Dinner time...

It wasn't a particularly expensive dinner, more like a company dinner, and everyone was laughing while some enjoyed their alcoholic beverages.

Jimin is seated next to her substitute manager, who was chosen to look after her throughout the duration of the WGM filming.

Y/N was seated across from her, and their gazes occasionally met, along with a quick smile.

People around them were loud, and they avoided getting drunk because they were afraid it would interfere with their work.

Added to the idols' discomfort.

"Have you two talked about what has to happen in the upcoming episode, Karina?" She was questioned by the director, who made a hand motion.

He did so in a questioning way.

She was reluctant to answer, "Aaa-"

The girl was cut off by Y/N. "Yes, we did and I'm sure we'll record some that will be used to the show later" Y/N explained to him.

Mr Director nodded slowly, a hand on his chin, "Good, looking forward to it."

Y/N nodded too, she raised a glass to toast with Jimin and Jimin did the same as she looked away to avoid Y/N's eyes.

One hour later...

Everyone is currently present in Gwangalli Beach for completing the first few episodes' segments.

The lights from Gwangan Beach perfectly illuminate the bridge, making it one of the few tourist attractions in Busan.

Jimin was wandering along the beach by herself, taking in the scenery.

She went on to capture a few pictures.

She could not be careless since she was loving it even if the breeze was pressing in and making her hair fly.

Her phone vibrated as she opened it to check it, and the girls had sent a selfie of the three of them eating together.

[ Unni, we miss you~]

At this, she grinned. She uttered "Oh my" in a whisper.

In addition to trying to capture a selfie to share with the other girls, the girl squatted down to center the camera frame to her face.

My Beauty plays...

While chatting with the girls, she was immersed in her own world. She had no idea that Y/N was standing behind her, watching her.

She wasn't stalking Yoo Jimin, but she was looking for her as well since she wanted to talk to her and avoid embarrassment.

She happened to find her. She felt like she was compelled to watch Jimin as Jimin lived in her own world.

She grinned broadly. "You are too precious for this world," she muttered.

After some time, the DayDream lead vocalist approached Jimin, who jumped a little when she saw Y/N.

"Oh, shoot!" Jimin gasped.

She almost dropped her phone, but she managed to grab it just in time. She was a little displeased that Y/N shocked her.

Y/N bowed and said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," while trying to maintain her composure.

"For everything once more," she uttered.

Y/N asked, gazing down, "What are you up to?" coughing a little.

Jimin was crouching and she was standing on the beach.

Jimin breathed in. "Nothing, just taking in the view and talking with my members." she answered.

Y/N nodded while keeping her hands in the pocket and her attention concentrated on the large bridge in front of her.

With the point of her sneakers, she sketched a few random patterns on the sand. "Do you know Busan has a fireworks festival?" She questioned the girl.

The younger idol was deeply embarrassed and berating herself for such a simple query.

Jimin tensed her face. "Yes," she replied icily.

She didn't mean to, but now that Y/N's face is in front of her, their almost-kiss sprung back into her mind.

After that, Y/N said nothing more but backed away and turned to face the other direction.

Jimin observed this and feared it was as a result of her dispassionate response.

She heard Y/N speak a little while later, but she made the choice not to look at her.

"Because there isn't a fireworks festival in Busan right now, I lit up this small firework stick for you," Y/N remarked calmly as she presented Jimin the ignited firework sticks.

Y/N clutched three little firecracker sticks while smiling.

Her gaze is fixated on Y/N. "What do you mean?" she inquired of the younger.

Y/N raised it high. "Imagine it's the sky's fireworks, just like your heart," she stated to Jimin.

Jimin relaxedly sighed. "So the fireworks' gunpowder will ignite and shoot into the air?" She smirked a little and asked Y/N in a bold manner.

The younger girl agreed and responded, "Exactly, but for a good reason."

The Aespa visual, on the other hand, had no response to that comment, and the tension between them got more lightweight.

Y/N took a deep breath. "Jimin, this Busan trip is our honeymoon," Y/N explained simply.

Jimin is still in her squatting position. "Isn't it crazy how we'll be flying back tomorrow?" she remarked.

She only wanted to spend a day in Busan because Y/N wanted to feel the thrill of it so it would be much better.

It was just the two of them on their day out.

"I agree, that is insane." Y/N gently replied, "Because I'm ready to accept the chance of it, whether I am caught or not."

Jimin became aware of the issues she had been contemplating after hearing her response.

[histoireettralala]

Louis XIII and his mother

While contemporaries thought that Louis inherited his father's "spirit" and intellect, his mother may have had a greater influence on the dauphin's political outlook. Henry sensed a central component of this: the striking resemblance of Louis's stubbornness and displays of temper to the emotional makeup of Marie. He even predicted that they would clash some day. This mother-son connection has been generally overlooked by historians, who have seen Marie de' Medici as a mother in name only, lacking in affection toward her firstborn. Scholars often dismiss Marie's role in Louis's early formation with the erroneous statement that she never kissed him, or did so irregularly.

The fact is, the queen did embrace the heir with regularity, if not exuberance, during his initial years. She also showed care for him in her letters, although these always had a practical bent in contrast to Henry's letters to the royal children's governess, which expressed a sense of joy in the children's very existence. Marie's letters remind one of the adult Louis's correctly concerned letters of condolence to subjects and his properly paternalistic communications with his sisters, surviving brother, and other close relatives.

The queen meticulously held out gifts as rewards for good behavior, while advocating inexorable punishment for "stubbornness." Still, she wrote to the dauphin's governess about the need to avoid whippings during the summer heat if possible, because the temperamental child "could get agitated"; and any beating should be administered "with such caution that the anger he might feel would not cause any illness." After 1609, when Louis's governess was replaced by a governor, the marquis de Souvré, Marie wrote to her son: "I am at ease in knowing that you are well and to learn that you are very well behaved, and that you are studying and doing your exercises. Keep it up and obey what M. de Souvré tells you so he will be able to confirm me always in that good opinion."

Marie's letters to her other children, notably the girls, confirm our impressions of the sort of indoctrination she was giving her firstborn. To Henriette, Louis's youngest sister, she wrote that nothing was more pleasing than her "little exercises." To the middle girl, Christine or Chrétienne, came an admonishment to be compliant like the oldest sister, Elisabeth. The mother's displeasure with the news of Christine's illness, we read with some astonishment, "would be greater if I didn't think of the example of your older sister who has been so well-behaved and obedient in doing what the doctors ordered for her. .. . So that is what I want from you and urge you to do if you wish to be always well loved by Your very good mother Marie."

Louis continued to look for maternal affection, despite Marie's cool demeanor. He was drawn to her also by an acquired filial deference, something that he could never fully shake later on in life, even when breaking with her spectacularly as a teenage king and again as an adult. His early childhood rages and pouting against her were no different from those he displayed so often toward his father, nurse, governess, and physician. Indeed, he could be so excited at the prospect of seeing his mother that he would help make her bed, be impatient if she did not come when expected, and race to kiss her when she finally arrived.

In addition to filial obedience and spontaneous hope, Louis was bonded to his mother by their peculiar positions in the royal family. Although she was clearly queen, and he just as surely dauphin, there was always competition for both of them from the same source —Henry's love affairs. Henry had a habit of acquiring longtime liaisons, in addition to indulging in casual sexual encounters. Furthermore, he somehow always managed to get his current lady friend pregnant in tandem with his wife's regular pregnancies. And he insisted that his legitimate and natural offspring live together at St-Germain under the common care of Louis's governess! This was mortifying enough for Marie, who alternated between fighting with her husband and accepting his affection and concern for her well-being, but it was downright confusing and unnerving for a proud, young heir.

A. Lloyd Moote- Louis XIII the Just

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7 Ways to Be a Good Friend to Yourself From Today

We are fortunate to have pals like this. Imagine how liberating it would be if we learned to be that kind of friend to ourselves. A happy relationship with oneself is essential for contentment. Let's take the following actions to discover how to become friends: 1. Be excited about your life A good buddy is especially thrilled when something wonderful occurs in your life. They are excited for your future and have big expectations for you. Can you be your own biggest supporter? We frequently hold back our enthusiasm and excitement out of concern that we'll be criticized or that the situation will quickly deteriorate. Live more, let's. Enjoy all of your accomplishments, small and large. Recognize that you deserve the finest. 2. Give yourself hope No matter how hard we try to do things the correct way, we cannot escape difficult times and issues. Never give up hope, even when things go wrong and it's difficult to remain positive. We tend to have ideas that push us toward decline when negativity takes root too easily. It is your responsibility as a good friend to maintain optimism even under the most trying circumstances. 3. Stop bullying yourself It's really rather simple, don't you think? With someone who mistreats you, you wouldn't want to be friends. But why do so many of us end up being the bullies in our own lives? Friends don't tear each other down; they uplift one another. Quit picking at every perceived defect in your voice, body, past, manner of walking, singing, or dancing. Quit telling yourself that you aren't deserving of wonderful things or that you aren't good enough. Bullies never support you in doing what's best for you or allow you to grow. You don't need that in your life or, most definitely, in yourself. 4. Focus on lessons We're all human, so we're going to make mistakes occasionally. No one anticipates that we will always be faultless. Thus, there will be falls. You're going to run against stumbling blocks along the way. What important, though, is what follows. Making mistakes is a way to learn; it's not a reason to feel bad about yourself. You can make the best use of the occurrence of your error if you decide to exercise caution in the future, make reparations, and do better than you did this time. Don't remain in the accident after this. Staying where you were when you didn't know better is not the smarter course to take. Moving on requires forgiveness. Keep in mind that your best buddy is you. What do you think your friend should want? 5. Believe in yourself Have you ever dreamed? Do you want to gratify those deep desires of yours? Do you have a strong desire to do something that you know is best for you? Are there any decisions you can make to get closer to the life you envision? What would you do if you were aware of a close friend who desired something, understood they needed to take this action, or was simply up for a challenge? Would you instill in them a dread of failing or would you surround them with words of encouragement? If they just took the step they really wanted to, would you believe in them and how wonderful their life could be? 6. Quit comparison Would you compare your friend to another person and begin evaluating how they perform or should be instead? It is harsh. That is not what a friend deserves. And acting in this manner would make you a terrible friend. So how come we constantly evaluate ourselves against others? How can we be so cruel to the one person we will spend our entire lives with, ourselves? Comparing is one of the most powerful tools for discouraging anyone since it is so unfair. That is largely worthless as well. Nothing positive comes from it. I really believe that as friends, we must put this conduct behind us and make the decision to behave better. 7. Be a good listener We all adore the buddy who is there to understand us and who will listen to us without passing judgment. We feel respected and heard. Let's respect our voice as well. When you sense something is off, pay attention to your gut instinct. When you realize it's time to leave, listen to your inner voice. Pay attention to what your heart wants. Pay attention to your body if you think it needs to rest. We all need to connect more with who we are. to pay closer attention and to be more mindful. Keep the internal voice close by while you cherish and pay attention to the external voices.   Read the full article

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Step by step instructions to Lose Weight Quick: 14 Things You Can Do to Lose Weight Rapidly!

Everybody needs to know how to lose weight quick. We know the standard thing "watch your eating regimen and work-out consistently" schedule. In any case, in the event that that's all there was to it, there wouldn't be such countless hefty individuals in this world!

In the midst of the multitude of falsehoods and publicity encompassing the weight misfortune industry, isolating the promotion and lies from the truth can be hard. That is the reason in the present article, I will impart to you 14 things you should do to lose weight quick. Following these 14 hints will assist you with getting in shape securely and remain incline throughout the entire year.

Caution: A portion OF THE Data YOU ARE Going TO Peruse Might Go against WHAT YOU Are familiar WEIGHT Misfortune.

Step by step instructions to Lose Weight Quick Tip #1: Quit eating just servings of mixed greens

This is a notable propensity particularly among female office laborers. You request a major plate of mixed greens with only greens. Your partners see what you eat and praise your endeavors to lose weight. In any case, before 2pm, you get ravenous and begin searching for treats and chocolates to nibble. How's that for one step in the right direction and two stages back in your fat misfortune endeavor? While nothing bad can be said about having plates of mixed greens for lunch, you ought to add some great clean protein, for example, eggs and chicken bosoms and furthermore great fats like avocados or guacamole into your plates of mixed greens too. Recall this: Each dinner ought to have a protein component. These protein and fat cause you to feel more fulfilled after the feast and will support your glucose levels for a more drawn out period so you won't be searching for undesirable snacks around the workplace just after lunch.

The most effective method to Lose Weight Quick Tip #2: Supplant every one of the unfortunate snacks at home and in your office

In spite of mainstream thinking, eating is really useful for fat misfortune. Eating on sound in the middle between feasts will assist with keeping a consistent blood glucose level and furthermore keep your digestion raised. Since individuals nibble on comfort and the overall accessibility of food around them, it is essential to keep just solid snacks, for example, dull chocolate, nuts, trail blends, natural products or even hamburger jerky inside simple reach. Discard all the others. Or on the other hand give them to a partner you disdain.

Instructions to Lose Weight Quick Tip #3: Begin a straightforward work-out daily practice

Each fat misfortune program requirements to have an activity part. It doesn't actually have to a genuine activity like running or swimming. On the off chance that you have never practiced before in your life, you could actually begin something as basic as lively strolling consistently for 20 minutes and stir up the power from that point. The principal objective is remaining dynamic and turning up your digestion. As you get fitter (and you will), wrench up the power and challenge your body to arrive at new levels of wellness.

Step by step instructions to Lose Weight Quick Tip #4: Stop the consistent state running

Assuming that you have been running for quite a while and haven't seen any critical weight misfortune results, then, at that point, it's the ideal opportunity for you to continue on toward additional difficult activities. Running is a decent activity to fabricate your cardiovascular perseverance, yet not the best for fat misfortune. To successful consume fat, you want an exercise that raises your pulse to no less than 80% of your greatest pulse and consumes the most number of calories in the briefest timeframe. Full body activities, for example, burpees, squats, deadlifts, shoulder presses and lines gives you the most bang for your time spent on working out. Play out each activity for 30 seconds with a 30 second in the middle between for 3 sets prior to moving onto the following. Do this for 10 - 15 minutes per day and you will get results past what you have encountered from long stretches of running.

The most effective method to Lose Weight Quick Tip #5: Don't keep away from carbs totally

When carbs supplanted fats as the principal giver of weight gain, many individuals are keeping away from all known sorts of carbs totally. I for one have a partner who disregards carbs like the plague. Allow me to put any misinformation to rest. Not all carbs are terrible. Our bodies need carbs to appropriately work. Carbs are our bodies' principal wellspring of energy. Our cerebrum works essentially on carbs, truth be told. Denying your assortment of carbs can unfavorably affect your body. Each type food has now is the ideal time and place to be eaten. When in doubt, you ought to just consume low glycemic carbs like earthy colored rice, dim verdant vegetables, multi-grain bread, oats, and so forth. High glycemic food sources, for example, bananas, juices, white rice, potatoes and other handled food varieties are best polished off just after a serious activity.

Step by step instructions to Lose Weight Quick Tip #6: Put forth sensible and quantifiable objectives

A many individuals abandon a preparation or fat misfortune program following a week or so in light of the fact that they didn't see the outcomes they were anticipating. You, most importantly, need to recall that you didn't get fat for the time being. So you shouldn't expect a supernatural occurrence weight misfortune to occur too. Putting forth sensible and quantifiable objectives will assist with keeping you propelled and go on towards your definitive weight misfortune objective. So what considered as a practical objective? Losing 0.5-1kg (1-2 lbs) seven days is a sensible. Losing a portion of an inch on your midriff following fourteen days is reasonable. Obviously, you must be totally fair with yourself when you are getting to these objectives. Inquire as to whether you are truly following the activity program strictly? How frequently did you undermine your eating routine? Click here ephedrine for sale

Instructions to Lose Weight Quick Tip #7: Spotlight on building muscle

Certain individuals might contradict me that practicing and muscle-building is significant for fat misfortune. As far as I might be concerned, fat misfortune is tied in with changing our body creation - lessening the fat mass and expanding sans fat mass (muscles). Expanding without fat mass will perpetually add to the bringing down of fat mass. For each pound of muscle your body has, you consume an extra 35-50 calories per day. Fat then again consumes just 2 calories for every pound. So the more muscle you have, the higher your metabolic rate will be. Furthermore, in spite of mainstream thinking, having more muscles will give your body those hot bends that the other gender wants.

The most effective method to Lose Weight Quick Tip #8: Put resources into a whey protein or dinner substitution supplement

Having 3 dinners every day with 3 bites in the middle between is generally difficult to plan. That is the reason for comfort designs, it's suggested that you buy a decent whey protein or dinner substitution supplement. Simply add water or milk and you make them serve of value protein.

Step by step instructions to Lose Weight Quick Tip #9: Roll out little improvements and stick with them for 21 days

Can we just be real with ourselves. Fat misfortune includes some conduct and way of life change. Your ongoing way of life got you to the express that you are currently. Going on down this way clearly isn't the speediest method for shedding pounds. We as a whole realize social change is the hardest thing. To this end we really want to roll out little improvements each day that is more satisfactory to our bodies. For instance, on the off chance that you as of now drink two jars of pop consistently, slice down to one can a day. Then, at that point, one week from now, slice down to one can at regular intervals. You understand everything. Furthermore, for any program that you choose to get everything rolling, stay with it for 21 days. Insights have shown that any social change requires 21 to acknowledge and roughly 60 days to shape into a propensity. So regardless of the amount you disdain an ongoing eating regimen or exercise program, persist for 21 days. You will be happy you did.

The most effective method to Lose Weight Quick Tip #10: Encircle yourself with similar individuals

Certain individuals are exceptionally subject to social help, while others not really. In the event that you have a place with the previous gathering, you must factor this part of inspiration particularly when you are beginning on a fat misfortune program. During the underlying 21 days, it is vital to remain propelled and zeroed in on the objectives you have set for yourself. You will undoubtedly experience difficulties and battles as you go through the program. Like days when your thighs are so sore in the wake of doing full body squats or even uplifting news like when you prevail with regards to losing an inch off your abdomen. Assuming you have companions who are doing the fat misfortune program with you, fantastic! Share your outcomes and how you feel about the program with them. Converse with wellness experts; join online networks or Facebook gatherings to share encounters and gain information. Likewise, don't simply zero in on the fat misfortune part. Get into the entire wellbeing and wellness experience. Purchase wellness magazines, visit wellness sites. Take a gander at physical make-ups you want to accomplish and set them as your work area backdrop. Do anything you really want to remain inspired.

Instructions to Lose Weight Quick Tip #11: Train your legs

I'm not simply looking at running here; I'm alluding to doing weighty squats, thrusts, deadlifts, and so on. Assuming you have at any point done squats, you will realize that it is quite possibly of the most requesting practice on the planet. You gasp and sweat like a canine as though you have ran a mile. However, it is likewise one of the most mind-blowing practices for developing generally fortitude and obviously consuming calories. Leg activities, for example, squats are normally compound activities and as such consumes more calories. Regardless of whether you are not doing weighted squats, simply doing body weight squats alone can similarly as challenge. Frankly, in my initial 5 years of preparing, I not even once prepared my legs. I generally thought the chest area is more significant and doing squats could stunt your upward development. That is every one of the a paradox. Since I began doing squats, my solidarity went through the rooftop and my muscle to fat ratio levels have remained reliably low lasting through the year. Presently I do squats something like once seven days in any case my exercise is rarely finished. In the event that you have never prepared your legs, trust me, begin your exercises with squats and you will be stunned by the outcomes you see. Furthermore, indeed, you can express gratitude toward me later.

[wishfullyeternal]

Riddler x Reader- Kidnapped Pt 2

Riddler x Reader- Kidnapped Pt 2

Words- 1,139

Warnings- SMUT, NSFW, language, general violence, NONCON, DUBCON, bondage, knifeplay, you get the jist

Please exercise caution when reading!

A/N- This is my first NSFW story, so please be gentle. Please read pt 1 first to get the entire story! Requests are open, and as always, love you lovelies!

"If you would, smile at the camera please, it would make me very happy!" You frowned, but the bright light from his phone made your eyes squint. He grabbed your jaw and pulled it towards himself, contorting you in a way that made it very uncomfortable to move.

"I said, smile..." You mustered the saddest looking smile anyone has ever seen, and he flashed a picture. He took a moment to take off his mask and throw it across the room. You saw the surprisingly average-looking man in front of you, with short, unkept dirty-blond hair, and soft features.

"You got any family? Or are you alone like Batman?" You shut your eyes, and when he let go, you gasped for air, chest heaving.

"I can figure that out later my dearest, now we've got some work to do." He lifted you up from the ground and brought you to his bed. The checkerboard comforter looked as if it had been black and white fifteen years ago, but were now permanently stained grey and brown from God knows what.

"Now stay here..." He laughed to himself and watched as your struggled against the tape once more. He grabbed a couple of things from a desk drawer across the room.

"One or two, you get to choose," He muttered something about it rhyming, but you were too busy trying to get a good look at what he was hiding. Something in your guy told you two, so you said it quietly.

"Two?" He nodded,

"Good choice darling," He held up the same knife that was embedded against the wall.

He climbed onto the bed with you and pushed you towards the headboard. He grabbed his infamous duct tape from a pocket in his coat and put another piece on your mouth.

"Wouldn't want you making too much noise, would I?" At the sight of him undressing, you widened your eyes. He only took off his coat and pants, revealing boxers and a wifebeater. Ironic. You tried to protest, and get the tape off of your mouth, but nothing was budging. Panic was rising from your chest, the feeling of bile tunneling through your throat.

"Now, now, now, let's not get too rowdy here, I don't want to kill you, and I have no intention of killing you, so please, just stay still. You're absolutely perfect." He fiddled with his hands, unable to decide where he should touch first. His eyes were focused intently on the shape of your breasts, and the thought of him touching them made your newfound nausea even worse. He held up the hunting knife, metal glinting in the moonlight, before taking it to the hem of your shirt and ripping through it like butter. The sound of ripping fabric made you wince and he quickly went to take off your bottoms. You tried to move your legs, to make it as hard as possible for him to take them off, but he simply put his weight on them, steadying you.

You made a noise from behind the tape, and he smiled. A weird smile, no teeth, just a simple upturn of his lips.

"Don't try and speak my dear, it will be over soon..." He took the knife and brought it underneath your bra, cutting through the middle.

"God," He groaned,

"You're just so beautiful, so perfect." He straddled the bottom of your legs. At this point, the duct tape on your arms had begun to cut off your blood supply, and you were cold due to the lack of clothing. The Riddler grabbed your breasts extremely languidly, almost as if he had never seen them before. The fatty tissue was squished under his hands, and you could feel the rough leather exterior of his gloves. He moved to take them off, and somehow, the pads of his fingers felt worse than the leather. He took the tape off of your mouth in one fluid motion, allowing you to speak.

"Please don't do this to me..." You stammered,

"Shush dearest, it will be over soon." He unbuckled the belt from his dark jeans, and you laid your head back, unable to fight back. This was the end of you.

He could kill you right now, but instead, he's going to fucking destroy you. You could hear him pump his cock a few times, the precum already slickly coating the skin. He shoved your legs open, and you brought your head up to look him in the eyes, tears pooling at the edges.

"Oh honey, don't cry" He lined up his average-at-best-looking cock, and slid in.

"Oh my god..." He closed his eyes, pleasure filling his body. You thought it would hurt more, considering your dryness, but his precum lubed up just fine.

He thrust into you a few times and you tried to keep the noises down to a minimum, hoping that he would finish quicker.

"God you're so fucking tight," His cock twitched inside you, and tears finally fell down your face.

"Call me by my name," He caught your chin in his hand, and gripped it so hard you were sure it would leave finger-shaped bruises.

"Riddler, please" You faked the begging, hoping that he would cum fast and get this fucking over with.

"Do you like the Riddler's cock?" You moaned, his cock finally reaching your sweet spot. He slapped your face and kissed it all over.

"Let me control you..." He whispered into your ear,

It was all over you thought, finally giving up on fighting back.

"Control me, please" His thrusts were harder, slamming into the soft flesh of your pussy.

"Good girl" He said, gripping a portion of your hair and pulling it. You yowled in pain, but the combined sensation of his thrusts turned it into a moan.

"Such a good little slut for me, aren't you?" You nodded, The Riddler beginning to rub your clit. Pleasure unfolded from your muscles, and you were quickly close to your climax.

"Riddler please," You gasped, he only ran his hands over your body, his mouth open, lewd noises filling the room.

"Oh fuck, cum with me," His thrusts were slower, but he still rubbed your clit with such fury it was impossible not to cum.

"Oh God Riddler, please," He grabs your throat, silencing your moans. Your pussy begins to squeeze around his cock, your mouth permanently open. The riddler groans heavily and you feel a warm fullness, his hand finally leaving your throat to pump himself through his orgasm. He pulls out slowly, savoring the moment, before seeing the massive amount of cum flow out of your pussy.

"God you felt so good," He said, catching his breath. You sighed, and closed your eyes, ready to faint from both the trauma and exhaustion.

"Stay awake for me, okay?" His voice was gentle, and at that point, you couldn't even begin to open your eyes, muscles all over you burning.

You fainted quickly, the apartment slipping through your vision.

"Don't fain-"

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Don’t Leave Me

➳ 𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢:  Over the past two years, the apocalypse has been raging, food has become scarce, and security has weakened. Will you survive as a small town girl living in a small apartment with your college best friend?

❥ 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: hoshi x female reader

❥ 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: zombie apocalypse au, suggestive/smut, angst, fluff, 

❥ 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 6k

❥ 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: Trigger Warning- Death and use of Gun. There are some smut scenes so if you are not comfortable please do not engage. Other than that enjoy.- BT

➳ part of the song series

↳ I used to be so happy

But without here I feel so low

I watched you as you left but I can never seem to let you go.

If you had told me that the world will end in a few days, I would have told you that you were insane and that you should stop believing in government-created conspiracy theories.

The looming fact that her life was now ended and her dream was broken would have made old me giggle and shake her head. So much for my desire to be a doctor.

You didn't grow up believing in a zombie apocalypse or the end of the world, so you weren't prepared for this. You would have preferred to go out in a more pleasant manner.

It was wonderful to have some company to keep you sane during the end of the world as we know it, despite the fact that you and Soonyoung had been imprisoned up in this miserable flat for so long.

Today was the day, the one-year anniversary of the beginning of it all. The date is June 17, 2023. You recall the event as if it were yesterday. A day that began unlike any other.

Today was just another day, with loud music booming through the closed doors as you both changed for the day. It was routine: get up, go to work, eat a meal, and return home. There wasn't a lot of variation in either of your days.

There were days when things were entertaining, but life was monotonous in general, and you both wanted something to liven things up!

“Heyyy can you please turn your music down just a smidge, I’m trying to do my eyeliner and it's making my hand shaky.” You laughed at Soonyoung's response as he shouted out to you from the other room.

“Oh, so they're not supposed to look bad,” says Soonyoung. Your basic talent has nothing to do with the music.”

Fluffing out your hair and setting down your makeup brushes you trudge over to his room and rapped on his door, arms crossed and mentally preparing for his cheeky comments.

He leaned against the door frame after opening the door and staring at your stiff physique. You gulped as you examined his toned physique; there was something about his physique that drove you insane.

“Keep your eyes up here, princess.” As you smirked at his movement, he titled your chin. Your brushed past him and landed on his unmade bed, pushing him to the side. He laughed as he closed the door and resumed his preparations.

“So, Mr. Bodybuilder, what's on your plan today?” He spun around in his chair, palms on his thighs, cocking his head, chuckling at your inquiry.

“Well, I have some new dance students to coach until noon, but after that, I'm free.” Jihoon, on the other hand, had requested a meeting to work on various projects.”

As you flung a thumb up, you shook your head, taking in what he had to say and mentally organizing it in your thoughts. You let out a long yawn as you stretched your sluggish body, unwilling to face the day.

Soonyoung coughed and looked at you with an open mouth.

“Since it's just ten o'clock, I had a plan before we took on the world. “Do you think you're up for it?”

As the air in the room became tense, you sat up on the palms of your hands and crossed your legs, watching his behavior.

“You know I'm up for anything,” As you scoot back on his bed, you wink at him. As he lingered over you, Soonyoung stood up from his chair, chuckling.

He kissed your collarbone and ran his fingers over it, absorbing up all the energy you were releasing.

“After I'm done with you, you might have to fix your eyeliner.” You flung your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you because you both knew you were going to wind up in this situation sooner or later.

“This is going to be a lot of fun.”

“Shut up and kiss me,” You retorted

As you hungrily stripped each other's clothes, you both started kissing each other, not splitting lips. His hands flew to your body to assist you in getting naked as quickly as possible. You sat up on your elbow, whimpering under his touch, undoing his belt.

Soonyoung was the sort to take his time when he was praising you, but as he pressed lips lightly on your core, you grew impatient. Thankfully, the time limit was short, so he set right to work, not wanting to waste this opportunity.

As your body jumped, he began to press kisses on your inner thighs while grabbing your breasts and rolling them.

You grumbled, “Fuck Soonyong,” as you pressed up against him, begging for more. As you peered up at him, his tongue touched your core, and he laughed.

“You're already a mess for me; look how drenched you are.”

He checked the dampness within by sticking his finger inside. You nudge him in the stomach as you hit his head, no longer whining.

“So help me, if you don't fuck me already. You're lucky I'm horny; else, I'd have taken care of myself by now.”

“Is my baby needy…?” As he thrashed two fingers in your wet folds, you whimpered as your body reacted nicely. As he pressed his digits deeper into you, your stomach began to erupt as your high drew near.

“Please, a-ah, f-faster.

“Patience, honey, I want you to cum on my dick.” As you felt empty, he pulled his fingers out, and you opened your eyes to find him yanking his underwear off and discarding it to the side.

You cry as he tempts your core before gently pressing into you and allowing you to adjust before proceeding.

Soonyoung grins as he angles himself to drive himself into you.

“Mmmhmm-ah Soonyoung, t-there!” As he repeatedly hits your g-spot, your back arches off the bed.

“Fuck, I can feel you tightening your grip on me. Darling, let me fill you up.”

“Yes, y-yes please.

As soon as he feels his climax coming on, Soonyoung fucks you faster. With a low sigh, he tightened his fingers around you. As he touched your area one time, he moaned out his name.

You gasped, desperately shouting out his name as your orgasm poured over you, forcing you to squirm as Soonyoung held you down and coated the insides of your body.

As you both fell back on the bed panting and relaxing your bodies, your name slipped from your lips. He kissed your forehead as you slowly turned over and let out a quiet groan once you had calmed yourself.

“Wow!”

“I know, speechless; it's one of my many skills.” Rolling off the bed and hurriedly picking up the stray clothing. Throwing his at him, you put on your underpants as you gathered the rest of your belongings and walked towards the door.

You turned back as you approached the door and winked at him before closing it.

He sighed, a broad grin creeping across his face.

“Oh the things I would do for her.”

---

Walking to work wasn't always so unpleasant, especially when you were accompanied by a talkative companion. It made the journey seem more annoying, enjoyable.

“Do you actually believe the government will do something like that? To their own citizens?’’

Hoshi scowled at you through his thick sunglasses as he went to take them off. He rolled his eyes and walked right up to you after opening the door in front of him.

“Unquestionably, the government is capable of anything. Nothing will be able to stop them from achieving their objective if they have one. All I'm saying is that we must exercise caution.”

“You and your irrational ideas. Stop watching Jerry Mason; he's simply fueling your fire.”

 When you arrived at your location, you came to a halt, clocking in and retrieving some files that had been left over from the night before. You sat down and exhaled deeply as you entered your temporary office.

“Do you think this is even worth it?” 

Soonyoung frowned and moved over to you, kneeling to get a better look at your troubled expression. He knew you'd be exhausted, and all he could do was be there for you.

It dawned on you when you were young that you wanted to be a pediatrician. It felt as if you were born to do this. You'd always adored children, seeing their faces light up when you offered them assistance or simply being there for them when they needed it. Despite the fact that you had just completed an eight-year school career, you still had three years left.

Regardless of what happened, you were going to make it.

“Hey, look at me.” As your eyes meet in the middle, he caresses your face.

“You got this; the long night of studying and grieving was for naught-" You smiled as you snickered at his remarks and allowed him to continue.

“This will be a breeze for you; the difficult portion has already been completed. All we have to do now is get through this summer together before moving on to the next level. Okay?”

As you rubbed his shoulders, he tenderly caressed your cheek and pulled you in for a forehead kiss.

“Thank you, Soo.”

As you jumped from your seat, you both heard a cough out of nowhere. As Soonyoung stood up and adjusted himself, you let out an uneasy laugh at your boss.

“I apologize if I interrupted anything, but we need to talk about the intern program with you.”

You coughed and tidied up as you walked to the door with him, shaking your head quickly. As you strolled down the corridor, trekking away to another room, you blew Soonyoung a kiss before leaving.

You noticed a man coughing on his approach towards you as you made your way to the rear room. He tripped towards you and grabbed your arm as he gathered his breath, his face showing symptoms of tiredness and worry.

“So-Sorry” He leapt to his feet and dashed out the rear entrance, out of the building and into his car.

You walked into the room, indifferent to his cries, and said, "No problem." While sitting next to the employers, you shook your head and took a long breath.

Many subjects were explored as the meeting progressed. One of the most crucial was when we would begin exercising our skills. Despite the fact that we still had schoolwork to complete, the boss had opted to get some exercise.

“It won't take long, but I want you to think about why you picked this profession. You understand why this is your calling and are free to write as much as you want about it. I'll be gracious and recommend that only one page be required. I'm excited for these papers, and it's a nice day today, so you may take the afternoon off.”

As everyone walked out of the room, loud whoops and hurrahs swept across the room, signaling that the weekend had arrived. As we were all leaving the room, you came to a halt and gazed out the building's window at a scene.

You saw a major shift in the man before you. As he smacked his head against the frame of his car, he twitched and screamed. You took a step forward, scrunching your brows and covering your mouth.

It all happened too quickly as the suddenly insane man leaped onto the nearest person and began biting them. You shuddered in terror as you hurried out of the room, falling back on your butt.

You yelled out to everyone, telling them about the man and his odd actions. Not only did you notice another woman twitching in the rear, but you also learned on the news that it was starting to happen all around.

*News* “Hello, this is NTC News, and we have just received word that unknown persons have been bitten and are biting others. Please don't stop for these people; we want everyone to get to safety as soon as possible. They are harmful to your health and can even kill you. We implore you once more to ge-”

As everyone gazed in horror, his voice was cut short. You yelled as you noticed a woman approaching the group after a man leapt on him and began biting him.”

“You guys heard him, runnnnn.”

You studied a puzzled Soonyoung as he waved to you, avoiding the crowd. You gently peered out the door, grabbing his hand and some items from your desk, and found it to be secure.

“What is going on, Y/N?”

“When we get home, I'll explain; we've been exposed here.”

As you ran down the corridor, panicked at the sight of the outside world, you took the emergency exit as you exited the back door. It was in shambles; they were swarming everywhere. Soonyoung kissed your hand and dashed through the horde, dodging stray onlookers.

It felt like you and he were in a movie, running and evading attacks and bleeding faces as they wiped out the people in front of you. You didn't know if you'd make it, but you clutched his hand as you rushed up the stairs to your apartment building.

As Soonyoung looked at you, you took your key and held it between your fingers.

“Are you ready for what we'll find when we get in here?”

Shaking your head, you hastily pecked his cheek before sprinting into the apartment complex and towards your room.

(Present Time, 2 years later )

Wasn't it supposed to be a typical day? In our town, nothing strange ever happens. Life had taken a different path and decided to run amok, and it didn't feel right to you or anybody else.

“Y/N, we have to leave; you're coming this time.”

“Yeah I’m coming” Soonyoung was strapping on his utility belt and grabbing his homemade weapon when you shot him a glare. “I know what you're thinking, and you're completely incorrect.”

He threw you the bat and also strapped you into your armor, shocked by your tone.

“We've been in this apartment for a long time, yet you still think I'm wrong. Hmm, it sounds amusing.”

Chuckling at his antics you quickly heard a voice on the other side as you both went silent. The sound of moaning and groaning never grew on you; hearing them reminded you of who they were before they transformed.

Where they are aspiring actors ready to take on the stage or innocent children on their way to school. It wasn't fair.

“This may be the most practical weapon, but it'll look pretty impressive if I can kill a zombie with it.” You giggle as you swing your bat in the air.

“I’m wondering how long I should leave you before I intervene and save your ass — again.” As he held the walkie up to his ear, Soonyoung heard a beep before tapping you.

“On the walkie, we got the all clear Y/N. It's time."

Shaking your head at him, you tightened your grip on the bat and went out the door gently, looking around to make sure no one was nearby. You and him did this on a regular basis when you were out scrounging around for anything. You know signs of life.

You and he discovered a group of survivors in your building as the outbreak was spreading for the past two years. It was a blessing to find individuals alive in this place attempting to survive; even though we only see them when we schedule weekly meetings, it's great to hear their voices every now and again.

“This is GoldenFox on level 6, and there are no zombies on this floor as far as we can detect. It is okay to proceed.”

After fully exiting the room, you placed a finger crossed kiss on the door frame. As you both made your way to the nearby stairwell, you turned around and observed his six.

To Survive a Zombie Apocalypse, Rule 21 is to Avoid Taking the Elevator. Stairs are your best friend.

Soonyoung crept over to the door, slightly cracked it open, and motioned you over after noticing no unusual activity. Shaking your head, you entered the stairwell straight behind him, pointing your bat in the direction of the vacant stairwell.

Slowly creeping up the stair the lights flickered on and off as you saw dried blood stains on the wall. You could never get over the fact that bodies were gruesomely taken as you approached the sixth floor entrance door.

When you walked out the door, you were greeted by a familiar sight.

“Hey guys, it's been a long time since we've seen one other.”

As he strolled alongside the girl, Soonyoung reached for your hand and gripped it tightly. She was escorting us to the survivors' debriefing meeting, or at least the ones who could make it.

“Hey Chae, how are you doing?” As a frightened expression washed across her face, you began to explain.

“Well, it hasn't been good; are supplies are rapidly depleting, and security is deteriorating. Tae-ho will elaborate, but things aren't looking good.”

You drew Soonyoung closer to you when you arrived at the correct door, pushed it open, and saw friendly faces.

“Ahh, here comes the couple; please take a seat; we have some business to discuss.”

You smiled and sat down next to Soonyoung, coughing softly before listening to Tae-ho's concerns.

“Because of a lack of hands and space, our inside and outside forces have been swiftly diminishing as the virus has become more prevalent in our area. We haven't been able to communicate with the military in a long time, and we're in serious trouble. Finally, I convened this meeting because we are in need of volunteers for a job tomorrow. We needed to connect our generator to the electricity grid, but it was out of juice.”

When you look around the troubled faces, you find that no one wants to look Tae-ho in the eyes, which is understandable. Isn't it normal not to endanger your life? Although, prior to all of this, you would have been ready to seize such an opportunity. Whatever it takes to help the community.

Soonyoung raises his hand after only a few seconds have passed. As he looks at you with his tiger-like gaze, you jerk to the right and broaden your eyes.

“What...no one else was willing to help.” Besides, instead of being locked up with you all day, it would be good to get out.”

As you rolled your eyes at him, you gave him a smack on the arm.

“Jerk,” you sneered, before slumping back in your chair and allowing Tae-ho to continue.

“Anyway, Soonyoung, Chan-woo, and Jong-ho have offered. Is there another volunteer who wants to join them?”

“Fine, I'll go,” you muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes and pursing your lips.

Low shouts of cheer rushed in the room as the teams were set for the trip tomorrow.

“Okay great, meetings adjourned. We go after the sun rises since the walkers get up early in the morning. So by ten o'clock, I'd like you to be packed and ready to travel. Soonyoung is the trip's leader, so pay attention to him.”

“Did you actually just call zombies ‘walkers'? God, you're having much too much fun.”

As he stood up, Tae-ho burst out laughing and ordered everyone to scram. Everyone in the room agreed and began filing out of the room, returning to their lowly abodes. You grabbed Soonyoung's hand and squeezed it strongly.

“Ow, what was that for?” 

“I don't know, I guess I just wanted to annoy you.” You rolled your eyes and smirked, your arms crossed in front of his face, pouting.

“Don't be like that, you know I was joking.”

Hiding his smirk he gazed at your eyes before kissing you all over.

“Stop,” you said, flailing your arms in an attempt to free yourself from his grasp. As he sighed, you completely surrendered and let him rest on you.

“Well, at the very least, we'll be going on a mission together tomorrow.” I was wondering whether you were planning on attending. But I'm glad you are.” He looked down at your lovely state.

You wrapped your arms over his neck and placed your hands on either side of his ears, narrowing the distance between you and him.

“Mmmh”

You were both shocked when Tae-ho coughed loudly, interrupting your conversation.

“How long have you been standing there?”

He laughed as he walked out the door, waving his hand in the air and said in a girlish tone.

“Oh, I love you, no, I love you,”  You both laughed as you flipped him off, then grabbed your bags and walked down the stairs to your apartment floor.

Soonyoung arrived safely at your door, opened it, and swiftly shut it while he stripped you and him of your clumsy armor.

“Is this a make-up for the earlier remark or...?” Soonyoung kissed you and dragged you closer to the bedroom, soon shutting you up with a kiss. 

Despite the horrible cries of walkers reminding you of what you were now living in, the night was young. When you glanced at Soonyoung, though, all of your worries and fears vanished because he made you feel safe no matter what was going on outside.

Soonyoung wrapped his arms around your waist and said quietly, “You're more lovely than anything else in this whole big universe.”

“Not more lovely than you, my baby,” you muttered as his handsome face drew you in closer.

Soonyoung chuckled and kissed your lips before resting his brow on yours and closed his eyes.

“I love you,” he said softly.

You grinned and pulled him in for a genuine kiss, saying, "I love you more than anything."

He nipped your bottom lip, eliciting a little whimper from you before sliding his tongue inside your mouth and kissing you hungrily, exploring every inch of you.

As a sticky pool formed between your legs, you could feel his hardening cock pressing against your thigh. You drew him upon you, already undressed, as he teasingly kissed your body.

You looked up at his toned figure, appreciating his abs as you ran your fingers on his solid stomach, your mouth watering because you knew this was just for your eyes. Soonyoung lifted your chin softly as you locked eyes.

“I'm not sure whether you're up for it, but I'm in the mood.”

“When are you ever not horny?” you asked, laughing. “I'm actually fairly hit, but I don't mind helping you feel good.”

The pupil of his eyes dilated. As you opened your eyes and looked up at him, he rapidly flipped you around.

“Oooh my favorite.”

Slowly, you slid onto his throbbing member and began to move; it was almost like muscle memory for your mouth as it went to work right away.

As tears began to collect at the corners of your eyes, you felt his palm on your hand, almost like clockwork, guiding you down.

“Yes, baby...right there,”  As his movement became jerky, he mewled. As you looked up at his trembling form, you chuckled.

Your name falls from his lips as his dick twitches in your mouth one last time before filling you up with his warm seed.

He drew you closer to him and kissed you for the twentieth time tonight when he cooled down.

“Ahh, I'll never get bored of that,” As he tenderly caressed your cheek, he complimented you.

“It is my area of expertise.”

As your eyelids began to drop, you both chuckled. You mumbled into his warm chest as you nestled closer to him.

“Goodnight, my love,” 

“Princess, good night.” He drew the blankets over your nude bodies, blew out the melting candles, and brought you closer to him, pressing one last kiss on your forehead. Allowing sleep to take control, the sound of his heartbeat and soft breath soothed you as you drifted off.

---

Thanks to the large windows, you were both awakened by the warm sun as it crept into the room, bringing the warmth and light needed for the day.

You snuggled closer to your love and crawled on top of him, sighing, as your tired eyes adjusted to the light.

“Hmm honey, we have to get up.” He began to get out of bed as you begged him not to leave you.

“5 more minutes,” you said as you drew his arm back and began kissing him on the arm and neck. He hauled you on his back, dropping you at the bathroom and making his way to the kitchen, smirking at your game.

“Get ready; I'm going to try to come up with something other than canned corn and rice.”

With a shake of your head, you took out the ladle and water bucket and began scooping up water for your shower. You quickly became accustomed to this way of life. You did miss your warm baths and your once-weekly takeout. At the very least, you had Soonyoung to help you get through it.

Stepping into the shower, you cleansed your body while singing a song; today would be a regular day. After a fast mission, the rest of the day would be laid-back, with nothing too serious on the agenda.

“LOVE GUESS WHAT I FOUND IN THE FREEZER, SOME FROZEN KIMCHI.” You giggled as you walked out of the bathroom in a towel, seeing how thrilled he was.

“I'm surprised it's still good; the freezer went out about two weeks ago.” He carefully set the chilly container down and pretended to choke while pinching his nose.

“At the very least, we got rice.”

“You can never go wrong with some fresh steamed rice.”

Before walking back to your shared room and locking the door to get dressed, you kissed Soonyoung on the cheek.

You pulled on some old sweatpants and a worn-out shirt and checked your appearance in the table stand's cracked mirror. You came to a halt as you looked around the once-bustling room, stunned at the extent to which an outbreak can devastate a space.

After giving it one last look, you stepped out the door, sat down at the table, and took a taste of the rice with a fork. Soon after, Soonyoung returned from the cabinet and sat down, smiling.

“I found some seaweed wraps stashed away. I mean, it's not that horrible; it should still taste fine after two years.”

Taking the package from his grip and swiftly opening it, you were greeted by the salty sea aroma as you both savored every last bite.

“Dig in!”

After devouring your meal you and he got prep and dress for your trek this morning. Making your rounds around the house one more time Soonyoung grabbed your hand and exited the apartment. 

“Well, the generator site is 3 miles from camp, and if we get there quickly enough, it will only last around 45 minutes. But that's just if we find another generator; it could take an hour or so.” As you looked around, you noticed your team's expressions as they tried to understand what Tae-ho was saying.

“Finally, the path you're travelling is a back road, which, while riskier than the street, provides more area to hide if walkers are noticed. I believe you can all do it; everyone will have walkie-talkies, so don't hesitate to call if anything goes wrong.”

Soonyoung grinned and shook his head as he counted his teammates and exited through the rear door. Before he left the building, Tae-ho grabbed him and handed him a pistol in case things went wrong.

“I know what's going to be out there, and I just wanted to let you know that if things go south, I won't hesitate to save you,” you said, thanking Tae-ho and pulling Soonyoung to the side. I know you're thinking the same thing, but these folks rely on you and your abilities, and I don't want to be in the way if something goes wrong."

“Don't even say that Y/N we're going to make it back safely all in one piece everyone of us,” he said as he pulled you in for a hug and lifted your face to stare at him.

“If you say so but still-”

“Shh, let's just concentrate on our mission and be ready, okay?” 

As you gathered the rest of the squad for a group huddle, you rested your hands on each other and said a quick prayer before shouting, "Let's go!" Tae-ho waved goodbye to you before closing the door behind you.

There was no going back now; it was now or never.

To ensure that everyone was safe, everyone had their backs covered just in case we were ambushed. You ran following Soonyoung, heavily gasping, as he dodged in and out of the automobiles and debris strewn everywhere. As we neared a small group of walkers, he came to a complete stop and raised his hand, motioning for us to move to the left.

These walkers were not your typical zombies; they had a poor sense of sight but a keen sense of smell and hearing, allowing them to track down humans even when they were not visible. Aside from that, they were normally fast, not lightning fast, but fast enough to put anyone who wasn't lightning fast to the test.

We were wary because we didn't know what kind of zombies we'd encounter. Tae-ho insisted on dousing us in a spray that penetrated their senses and messed with them for a while. Despite the fact that it smelled terrible, it kept us secure for the most part. All we had to do was spray it on ourselves every 30 minutes to keep the aroma from wearing off.

Soonyoung pulls the group around him, whispering, “We have about 2 miles to go until we reach the first checkpoint; we can stop at the old home on the right.” We shook our heads and waited for his next call, pointing to the house ahead of us.

“I want Y/N and Chan-woo to go first, to get to the building, and to keep an eye out for us when we arrive.”

As you carefully rushed to the building, you looked at Chan-woo and pulled him up, afraid of the walkers behind you. The next two were up as they quickly walked by the walkers, signaling that you had made it safely to the house.

“All right, get whatever supplies you can find and meet in the back in ten minutes.”

Soonyoung told the group to look around, and it was common knowledge that we should look for supplies. You left your companion and walked upstairs to get some fresh clothing; yeah, you still have to appear presentable.

When you got to the top, you went through random rooms until you arrived at a room that was clearly a teenager's room, despite the fact that it was blown out with dirt and litter. Not only did it break your heart to see all of their stuff crammed into the same space, but you also knew they were on their way to becoming a walker.

It was difficult, but you had to persevere. You stumbled throughout the room, thankfully discovering batteries, a few shirts, a first aid kit, duct tape, and some pads. Needed at all times.

Nodding, you threw your belongings into your bag and descended the stairs, only to discover everyone going for the back door. You looked around and swiftly moved to the back, where you saw them waiting for you in a defensive position.

“Hopefully, we all got some excellent things, and we'll be able to go through them more thoroughly when we go back. Now that the extra generator is only three houses away, we're into walkers territory, so stay vigilant."

As the group starts out toward the last house on the street, careful of walkers in the route, you tighten your hold on your bat and look about. You and the group make it to the last house, carefully moving across the wreckage and immediately entering the house.

“Okay, we've got a few minutes before they notice we're here, so let's finish packing.” Keeping in mind that these generators were compact, they were suitable for storing in tight locations. You take the tiniest ones and place them in Chan-woo's bag before returning your gaze to the larger ones.

“How about those? Aren't they going to be more effective than the smaller ones?” Soonyoung paused for a moment, staring at the generators while walking back and forth as he pondered.

“That is correct, but we don't have enough people to bring it with us; we can get it later when we have more people, but for now, let's just go with the four we have.”

As we got to the door, everyone glanced around and said, "OK." Jong-ho stepped out the door, completely oblivious to the fact that we were in the middle of the apocalypse. We were greeted by a group of walkers.

As we all rushed at him, one of the zombies grabbed his arms, and Chan-woo kicked him off of him and whacked him with his axe. Looking above, we could see a swarm of them approaching us, and we were all terrified.

“LETS GO.”

As the walkers soon approached us, we grabbed hold of Jong-ho and pulled him with us.

We were quickly losing them, so we paused for a while to gather our breath before continuing on to the automobile portion of our adventure; we were almost there, and nothing could possibly go wrong.

Well in fact everything was just about too. When you turned back, you were confronted by the most scary of walkers, the runners. You yelled out to the group that we had to go right now.

We sped past the automobiles, grabbing everyone's attention and daring them not to turn around. Soon after, Soonyoung retreated behind the group to ensure that everyone was safe. You were almost there; the door was visible. You observed a bunch of familiar faces as the door opened.

Tae-ho kept the door open while telling you to duck, spraying bullets through the air and catching some walkers in the back.

“We're almost there,” you exclaimed as you turned around. Soonyoung was fighting the runner, gnashing his bleeding teeth. You panicked, unsure of what to do, as fear surged through your body. As you yelled, you could see the zombie rip into his skin.

You witnessed the zombie fall to the ground after hearing a shot travel through the air and hit it. You had a worried expression on your face as you gazed at Soonyoung.

“We don't have time to discuss this, Y/N.” You must leave right now.”

As tears flowed down your swollen face, you screamed at him.

“I can't leave you behind...,” 

As he strained to stand, he noticed them struggling and staggering toward us. He yelled again, worried for your safety, tears streaming down his bloodshot eyes.

“Please, Y/N, I'm sorry, but I can't let them take you. You have to go now before it's too late.”

You shook your head and raced towards him, barely hoisting him up, sobbing into your torn up sleeves.

“I’m sorry Soonyoung, but I can’t leave you.”

You watched a couple guys rush up to you and carry you and Soonyoung to the door, which they swiftly locked, not wanting to hear the walkers' cries.

When you saw the big bite mark on Soonyoung's arm on the floor, tears flowed down your face and your throat started to close up. You cried as you fell into his lap as he patted your back.

“You can’t leave me please.”

---

It was going to be a long night, not just for you, but for everyone else as well, and if someone got bit, there were two options. Make the pain less easy or to set them free outside, we couldn’t let the infection spread inside. That's how we survived, but you didn’t know if you could do it.

He was your entire world, and you and him would go to the ends of the earth, yes, even to the apocalypse. Why him? It wasn't right.

You awoke in a cold sweat, anxiously looking around.

“Was it all a nightmare?” As you entered the living room, calling out for Soonyoung, you heard a grunt.

It wasn't a dream in the least. Reality has smacked you in the face.

Slowly approaching the couch, you noticed his sweating face; the virus was growing quickly. As you saw him twitch and groan in anguish, it hurt your eyes. You wished you could just take the pain away for a moment.

You sat crouching at his side, clutching his hand in yours as you kissed it, thanking the guard. As he turned to face you, he felt your touch, and his red eyes met yours as you sobbed as you saw his devastated state.

“Hey..hey look at me.” He gently sat up, tears in his eyes, and embraced you, kissing your forehead.

“It was bound to happen, Y/N; all we have to do now is stick together and get through this.” For the sake of both of us, you must be strong.” You clutched him tighter as you became choked up, unsure whether this was the last time.

“I guess our family has to wait.” You wailed into his chest as tears welled up in his eyes. Fearful of what was to come, he brought you closer to him and kissed your head as he cried.

It happened so quickly that neither of you realized what was going on. What he had asked you to do was unthinkable; you couldn't do it. Was it the virus or him who was speaking?

“Babe I can’t.” As tears streamed from the corner of your and his eyes, the worn-out pistol in your fingers trembled.

“Love, you have to, it's growing worse and I can feel it taking over my body,” he began shivering as he attempted to regain consciousness. "Allow me to spend my final moments with you as Soonyoung.”

As you sat back, he grabbed you and held you in his arms as you flung your arms around his neck, holding back tears.

He gave you one more glance as he crawled up to you and kissed your lips as you drew him back to you, savoring every moment.

“I believe this is it, I love you so much Soonyoung, please never forget and I'm so sorry,” you chuckled as you looked down with a tear-streaked face. You gripped his hand as you silently cursed as you drew him closer. "

You brought the gun up in front of you and pressed the trigger while closing your eyes.

*BANG*

His body slid to the ground, the warmth of life snatched from him by death's icy grasp. Blood gushed from his gaping wounds, tainting the once-pristine earth with the wry wit of someone who had been gone far too soon. His chest lay motionless, with no signs of life or his customary purity in his bosom, indicating that he was dead.

Holding the rifle to your chin as you gently close your eyes, you take another look at his body. Everything was taken from you by the world: your happiness, your source of clarity, and your life. As the bullet flew through your head, you wiped the tears from your eyes and pulled the trigger.

As you fell to the ground, you felt your body's life drain away as you saw it fade from your eyes.

“I won’t ever leave you.” You kissed his hand one more time as your whole body went limp and drifted away into the light, holding his hand closer.

And then, out of nowhere, two lights dimmed, never to be seen again in this messed-up world.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

➳ Navigate to the Maze

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 25

A/N: So this chapter begins the first mention of COVID-19 for the story.  I know it’s not much but I did want to put a little disclaimer because I know it was a traumatic event for many people, especially those who were affected by it personally.  We will obviously get deeper into it as the story progresses in the next chapters (judging by the date...it’s time!) 

Also, no @’ing me about what happens here with a certain someone.

March 2nd, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was paying attention to the news at the airport.

“While the first case of what epidemiologists are referring to as COVID-19 was recorded in Toronto on January 25th, the novel coronavirus is still baffling some scientists in terms of its symptoms.  They range from severe in some, to completely asymptomatic in others.  While there are currently less than twenty cases in Toronto thus far, Ontario health officials have recorded three news cases today.  One is a man in his 60s who returned on a flight from Egypt, while the other two are women in their 60s and 70s returning on a flight from Egypt.  Public health officials are encouraging individuals to wash their hands frequently and exercise caution whenever and wherever possible.”

“Want some hand sanitizer?” John asked from beside her.  He was laid out in the chair beside her while her knees were against her chest.

She nodded, leaving her bag of pretzels in her lap before she extended her hand and he squirted some Purell onto her hand.  John always had everything readily available – hand sanitizer, band aids, healthy granola bars, breath mints – she was sure he probably had a spare hair elastic in his backpack too, and a full surgery kit for all she knew.  She rubbed the sanitizer in between her hands.  “What do you think about all this?” she asked, motioning towards the TV monitor.

John shrugged.  “I’m a bit nervous about it,” he admitted.  “I know that Aryne is taking some extra precautions with Jace.  A lot of her friends from Queen’s ended up going to med school so she’s friends with a lot of doctors and listening to their advice.”

“I guess we should all be.”

“Wouldn’t hurt, right?” John asked rhetorically.  “Better safe than sorry.  What do you think about it?”

Aberdeen pursed her lips slightly.  “I have no clue.  Science goes way above my head.  But if doctors and epidemiologists are going to tell me to do something – or not do something – so I don’t get sick, I’m going to do it – or not do it – whatever.”

“Atta girl,” John smiled.  “Just listen to the experts.”

“That’s why I listen to you about hockey,” she winked.

He laughed out loud.  “You butter me up too much.  What are you looking for?  A granola bar?  You already have pretzels.”

“Not everything with me has to do with food.”

“Really?”

She pinched him.

***

March 5th, 2020

It was 24 Celsius in Los Angeles, and Aberdeen was loving it.  Though the Leafs had suffered a bit of an embarrassing loss to San Jose the night before, today the team had a day off before they had back to back games against the Kings and Ducks.  Some of them were going shopping on Rodeo Drive (Auston, Frederik), and some were visiting old friends since being traded (Kyle, Jack), but most were doing exactly what Aberdeen wanted to do: going to the beach.

They decided on Malibu Beach.  It was only a thirty minute drive from the hotel, so Aberdeen put on her bathing suit and packed herself in a car with John, Jason, and Justin Holl.  William, Rasmus, Kappy, and Pierre followed in another, with Tyson and Mitch tagging along in the last car too.  It may not have been super-hot to Californians, but for sun-starved Canadians, it would do.  The sun was out, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and she was going to tan the entire afternoon.  She would take advantage of it as much as possible.

As she helped set up the blankets and beach towels, she watched as Mitch and Tyson already stripped down to their bathing suits and ran into the ocean together.  Pierre was setting up some Bluetooth speakers and John was passing around the sunscreen.  The visual of these men rubbing sunscreen across their abs made Aberdeen’s heart flutter – but then the image of them having to slather sunscreen all over each other’s backs brought her back down to earth.  She chuckled to herself and shook her head.

“Aberdeen, sunscreen!” John tossed the bottle towards her.  She caught it and stripped down to her tankini before squirting some onto her legs and arms, making sure to cover herself thoroughly.  She could tell William was watching but trying not to make it seem like he was.  Jason took care of her back.  

The guys did their own thing while Aberdeen read her book and tanned.  She could hear them screaming every now and then and watched as they gave each other piggyback rides and splashed water at each other like they were a peewee hockey team on a weekend tournament.  Every now and again someone would come back to the blankets and beach towels to relax, but soon enough, they were back in the ocean, being loud and obnoxious but happy, happy boys.

“Whatcha reading?” Tyson asked as he walked towards her, wet from the salt water and sand sticking to his legs.  She flashed the book at him – Milkman by Anna Burns – and he squinted his eyes to see it properly in the sunlight.  “Is it about milk?” he asked.

She shorted.  She remembered back to when she was reading Women Talking by Miriam Toews and William asked “Do women talk in it?” like a smartass.  “It’s about a woman in what’s very obviously Belfast coming of age during the Troubles.  I thought it might give me some more insight into what my mom grew up in.”

“Is it any good?  Was it as good as the one you were reading last week on the plane?  Normal Girls or whatever it was?”

Aberdeen giggled.  “Normal People, you mean?  No, it’s not as good as that.  Fuck, I loved that book.”

“I know.  You wouldn’t shut up about it!” he joked, wiping his body off.  From behind him, Aberdeen could see John making his way towards them.  William was still off in the ocean, throwing a football between him, Pierre, and Mitch.  “Think you can teach Mitch how to read?”

Aberdeen smiled.  “I can certainly try.”

As if on cue, Mitch’s booming voice was heard.  “Hey T-Bear!  Get over here!” he yelled, putting everything he had into his throw of the football so it reached Tyson, who caught it expertly.

“See ya later, Aberdeen,” he said before running off, throwing the football towards Pierre who had to dive into the water to catch it.

Instead of focusing on the water cascading down Pierre’s abs or the sunlight hitting William’s broad shoulders perfectly, making him look like some Norse god, she focused her attention on John.  “You feeling good?” she asked.

“The best,” he nodded, wiping himself off before lying the towel down again and sitting on it, bringing his knees up and wrapping his arms around them.  “You’ve already gotten some colour,” he commented.

“Thank God,” she said, looking down at her arms.  “The winter has made me so pale.  It’s a bummer I didn’t get my dad’s skin tone.  My sister and brother got lucky with that.”

“You took after the Scottish side?” he asked.  Aberdeen nodded.  “I get it,” he said.  “Aryne can’t tan either.  She burns too easily.”

“Wonder if the Swedes are going to look like tomatoes in a couple of hours,” she said, nodding her head towards them.  “Imagine they’re on TV and beet red?  I might get fired for not slathering sunscreen on you guys or not telling you to put on some hats.”

John laughed out loud, choosing to lean back on his elbows.  “I don’t know about that, Aberdeen.  Something tells me you’ll be around for a long time if certain people have anything to say about it – well, until you want to leave, that is.”

Aberdeen’s body stiffened slightly at his words.  “Wh…what do you mean?” she asked.  

“Ah, nothing serious, Aberdeen.  Don’t worry,” he said, shaking his head.  With the silence between them, Aberdeen thought he may have dropped it, but he didn’t.  He was just preparing to articulate what he wanted to say.  “It’s not just Brendan liking you, you know.  We know William has, like, the biggest crush on you, okay?  We’re all adults here,” he said to her shock.  “It’s cute, but we all know it’s harmless.”

“It is harmless,” she stressed.

“I know, Aberdeen.  Don’t worry.”

“Don’t for a second forget that you’re all Toronto Maple Leafs,” she said.  “Every job in this organization is a dream job for someone and you guys forget that some people spend their entire lives, their entire careers, building up their resumes waiting to get hired by this organization.  Nobody would ever, ever, under any circumstances, want to do anything to fuck it up, because once you’re done here, there’s nowhere else to go.”

“I knooooow, I know.  I’m just ribbing you like we rib him about it,” he smiled.  He was so jovial about it all that Aberdeen calmed down a bit.  He wasn’t trying to get to the bottom of something like he was when he and Morgan asked her about Ethan – he was just being good-humoured.  A human, not a captain of a hockey team.  Maybe her overreaction was a bit much but she needed to remain guarded and vigilant about it if ever, and whenever the guys brought it up.  “He looks at you googly-eyed all the time even though he knows nothing’s ever gonna happen.  I’m pretty sure he’d cry whenever you leave.”

Aberdeen snorted.  Cry from joy, probably, because that would mean they could actually touch each other in public.  “He told you that?  That nothing is ever gonna happen?”

John nodded his head.  “Well, nothing’s ever gonna happen as long as you work here,” he clarified.  “But don’t tell him I told you.  He kind of figures and we all know it’s a lost cause as long as you’re working here.”

Aberdeen nodded, deciding not to say anything as she looked out into the distance.  The boys were still throwing the football, and Justin was attempting a yoga pose on the beach.  She picked up her book and buried her head in it.

***

Adrian Kempe, a Swedish friend of William’s, recommended a taco restaurant in Malibu for the group to have dinner.  It wasn’t a far drive from where they were on the beach, so at around six in the evening, they shook the sand off the towels and packed them back in the cars and headed to Café Habana.  Aberdeen was in the car with John, Jason, and Justin again.  

When they arrived at the restaurant, she looked out the backseat window to see Kappy making a beeline towards someone.  The girl, Aberdeen soon noticed, was Saylor.  She figured Saylor was here for another modelling gig, though Aberdeen did find it somewhat amusing that Saylor always popped up in cities or areas with…well, shall we say distractions.  She was in New York.  Las Vegas.  Aberdeen knew she’d been to Florida.  Now she was in LA.  Saylor didn’t go Columbus or Colorado.  

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,” Saylor squealed as she saw Willy, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him.  “Surrrrrpriiiiise!”

“Surprise,” he smirked, but Aberdeen could tell he wasn’t as excited as she was.  “Here for some modelling?”

“Who wouldn’t want to come down to LA to model?  I just came from a shoot,” she said, now focusing her attention on Aberdeen.  “Hey girl!” she squealed again.  

“Hi Saylor,” she smiled.

“I’m so glad I won’t be the only girl here tonight,” she smirked.  “The boys can get so boring sometimes.”

“Aberdeen’s used to it by now,” Jason piped in.  “She’s only been travelling with us since September.”

The group moved towards the restaurant and were seated in the back patio at a long table.  Aberdeen was squished in between Jason and John, and directly across from her sat Willy, Pierre to his right and Saylor to his left.  Saylor and Kasperi didn’t even have to sit down to ask the waiter and waitress attending to them if they had oysters.  They didn’t.  With one quick look at the menu, and a disproportionately long discussion requiring everybody’s calculators to be out to determine how many orders of tacos were required for everybody to have three tacos each (much to Aberdeen’s entertainment), the group ordered four orders of every taco variation (and there were five of them) on the menu, along with some sides of baby broccoli, sautéed zucchini, and French fries.  As a dining group of 11, it should have been more than enough food.  She felt bad for the chefs, but knew the food would be amazing.  She saw it being brought to a table near them and it looked delectable.  

While Aberdeen maintained professionalism at all times when she was in front of the guys, when the tacos came, that professionalism waned.  She made sure to grab the four tacos she was guaranteed and wanted and piled them onto her plate.  They looked delicious.  Even as she bit into her first one, she moaned audibly at the taste, making the guys around her laugh.  Willy eyed her as she did so, taking a bite out of his own.

“So what have you been up to?” Saylor asked Aberdeen as she crunched on a French fry.  “Kappy told me it was your birthday?”

“It was!  I turned 22.”

“Ohmigod, I remember my 22nd birthday.  We went to the rooftop bar at the Bowery Hotel in New York City,” Saylor said.  Aberdeen knew it would be something ultra-luxurious because that was the only way Saylor seemed to roll.  “What did you end up doing?”

“Oh, a bunch of friends and I just got a booth and bottle service at a club.  Nothing as fancy as that,” Aberdeen answered.  

“How many were you?”

“I’d say about twenty.”

Saylor’s eyes bulged a bit.  “When you get older, your friend group gets soooo small,” she said, her tone making it seem like she was the all-knowledgeable big sister bestowing wise knowledge upon Aberdeen.  Saylor was only a year older than her.  If it was Jen, Aryne, or Bee giving this advice, fine – but not Saylor.  “My friend group is so small now.  All the drama that goes on between people is just so tiring, you know?  Less people, less drama.”

Aberdeen didn’t want to be rude, so she nodded her head.  “I can get that.  These are all people I’ve known since high school and throughout university, though.  We’ve already been friends for a long time.”

“And you’re still friends with them?” Saylor asked.

Aberdeen nodded her head.  Before she could say anything else, John piped up.  “I think that’s a testament to your character more so than anything, Aberdeen.”

“But it could also speak to, like, the way people are,” Saylor went on.  Aberdeen indulged her, looking at her so she would continue.  “Like, when I was in high school – my family is from Lake Forest, and I went to Lake Forest Academy – I found out this one friend was talking behind my back and I totally ditched her.  But then we ended up at the same college, and it was really weird for a while, but then we ended up becoming friends!”

Aberdeen didn’t know what point she was trying to make.  Neither did anybody else listening, judging by the looks on their faces.  “That’s good you were able to turn the relationship around,” she commented, not knowing what else to say.

Saylor looked very proud of herself.  “Besides that, what else have you been up to?  Are you still just, like, Brendan’s assistant?”

Aberdeen bit her tongue to smile curtly.  “Just.”

“And a great one at that,” Jason said before stuffing his mouth with a taco.

“I guess that’s enough for you,” Saylor commented.

Aberdeen almost dropped her taco.  So did Jason.  Willy was looking in between them.  She didn’t know how to respond at this point and not sound rude when Saylor’s rudeness was so blatantly obvious.  Aberdeen still wasn’t sure whether or not Saylor actually had the capacity to be underhanded.  She was starting to err on the side of Saylor knowing exactly what she was saying to people but saying it in such a way and with such a tone that everyone thought she was just dumb and didn’t know better.  Aberdeen began to believe Saylor did know better, and her act wasn’t fooling Aberdeen anymore.  It made her reconsider what Saylor said to her in New York about her nose.  “It’s actually not enough for me, but it’s what’s paying the bills right now and I’m not going to discuss career aspirations at the dinner table in front of people who are technically my colleagues and who don’t want to see me leave anytime soon.”

“But you can’t be in a job you hate just because it pays the bills!” she said like some dreamer.  “You need to go out there and be creative!  Cultivate!  Be artistic!  Design!  Sometimes the best opportunities come when you just drop everything, quit your job, and start hustling as you do what you love!”

Aberdeen felt her blood begin to boil.  She tried to remain calm.  “One – I never said I hated my job.  I love this job and I love the people I work with,” she clarified.  “Two – that’s a bit easy to say for someone with family money who grew up in Lake Forest and went to a private school.  I have rent to pay.  Bills – groceries, my cell phone, internet, stuff for my cat – I can’t just up and quit my job with a steady income to hustle and be creative when I have a shit ton of responsibilities.”

“I’m sure your parents would help you if it’s your dream and it’s something you really wanted to do.”

“No, they wouldn’t,” Aberdeen deadpanned.  “My parents have their own shit to deal with.  My mom would kick my ass if I was that stupid.  I mean, my parents are immigrants, so that goes without saying.  They don’t owe me a dollar, and I would never ask them for it.  I would never do that to them.”

“What about your grandparents?”

Aberdeen could feel John, Jason, Pierre, and Willy deflate at the question.  It was almost comical.  “I think you’re missing the point, Saylor,” Jason said nicely.  “Aberdeen is already hustling to get to an end-goal of writing.  This job is actually helping her get to that goal.”

“Writing?” Saylor questioned.  “I thought for sure you wanted to, like, work in sports or broadcasting or something.  Writing, then?  That makes sense, I guess.  Better for you to stick behind the cameras.”

Aberdeen wondered if everybody else could hear what Saylor was saying too.  She felt like she was in the twilight zone or something.  It confirmed to her that Saylor knew exactly what she was saying.  “Yeah, I guess.  Kind of how it’s better for you to be in front of the cameras because you thrive on attention.”

“Yes!  Modelling is all about getting attention and hype around your brand,” she smiled sincerely, so happy that the topic was back on her and her modelling.  She didn’t get the subtle dig at her…extracurricular activities that took up more of people’s attention than any work or collaborations or modelling she’d done.  “I’m working so hard to build mine now, which is why I’m in LA having meetings and doing more collabs.”

“Is modelling enough for you?” Jason asked.

Aberdeen almost spit out her water, but Willy beat her to it.  She saw Saylor’s face light up even more.  “Oh my God, yes.  I looove modelling.  I’m soooo into the creative aspect of it and building my brand.”

“That’s great, Saylor,” Aberdeen smiled.  “I’m really glad that it’s working out for you considering how much you love it.”

“Thanks, girl,” she winked.  “It’s hard because the industry is so saturated these days.  I mean we were talking about this in New York.  Every girl with an iPhone, some makeup, and good angles thinks she’s a model.  It really takes someone creative like me to stand out.  Someone with a unique look and a unique brand,” she went on.  “Like your nose, you know?  It’s big.  Huge.  We talked about that.  You could get a nose job, or you could work with it.  Most would get a nose job.”  

Jason was ready for Aberdeen to snap.  So was John.  So was Pierre.  But William knew better.  When he saw Aberdeen smile, close-mouthed, just a hint of a coy grin playing on her face, he knew better.  “I have a Virginia Woolf nose,” Aberdeen said.  “It reminds me of how much I want to become a writer and not a model.”

***

“I feel like I just watched a WWE match on pay-per-view,” Aberdeen overheard Justin say to Jason in a low voice as they trailed behind her in the parking lot (he sat beside Jason during the meal and had heard everything, but even if he hadn’t sat beside him, Aberdeen had a feeling he still would have heard).  After the tacos were eaten, everybody decided to call it a night and go back to the hotel – well, mostly everyone.  Saylor wanted to go out for drinks somewhere else in Malibu.  Everybody else politely declined.

“Yeah, except it was pretty one-sided,” Jason said in an equally low voice.  “It’s like Aberdeen was Stone Cold Steve Austin and Saylor was the poor jobber her stunnered every Monday night.”

“You picked up on the nose comment too, right?  I mean she was basically telling Aberdeen to get a nose job?” Justin asked.

“Yup,” Jason popped the P sound.  

“I thought I was going crazy when I heard it.”

“Yeah, me too.  But from what I’ve heard from Jen I didn’t expect more from her.”

“It’s good that Aberdeen is mature.  I think if it were me at 22, I would have lunged across the table,” Justin commented.

***

“Who’s Virginia Woolf?”

Aberdeen was lying naked in her hotel bed, tits out, with William lying by her side after he’d fucked her, and that was the question he asked.  Aberdeen smiled.  She loved William and she knew him – she really did, at least she liked to think – but sometimes she didn’t understand how his brain worked.  She knew she liked to call him “Head Empty”, but sometimes she wasn’t so sure.  He clearly had thoughts.  He just brought them up at weird times.  “She was a writer in the early 1900s,” she answered, laughing slightly.

“And you want to be like her?”

She shook her head.  “I’d like my writing to be like her writing.”

“Why don’t you want to be like her?”

“She filled her pockets with rocks and committed suicide by drowning herself in the river behind her home,” she said, looking over at him.  His face was blank, processing the information, and she smiled wider.  “Maybe if my writing was like hers, I’d actually get published in Toronto Life or something.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

Her smile faded.  She hadn’t told him yet.  She’d wanted to keep it to herself for as long as possible because she didn’t want to burden him with the news.  “I did try.  I sent in one of my personal essays and they rejected it.  They sent me the email on my birthday.”

William remained silent.  He saw the look on Aberdeen’s face and knew that she felt embarrassed and disappointed – in herself, in her writing.  He wrapped an arm around her and propped himself up on his elbow so he could look down at her.  “Minskatt…”

“Don’t, Willy.  You’re going to make me cry.”

“No,” he shook his head, not accepting what she was saying.  “After the Carolina game you told me I needed to talk more and that you’d listen.  Well, you need to talk now and I’ll listen,” he said.  “Talk to me, minskatt.  I’m listening.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and it wasn’t because of her writing getting rejected anymore.  It was because of the man hovering over her.  His head may by empty, but Aberdeen was sure his heart was full of gold.  She didn’t know how she got so lucky.  She didn’t know how he was hers.  “I just don’t know how much more rejection I can take,” she whispered.  “I try and I try and I write and I write and I read so I can write better and nothing is working.  Nothing,” her voice was shaky.  “I just want an editor to read my writing and say ‘This is what I’ve been looking for all along.’  But that hasn’t happened yet.  And I’m scared it’s never going to happen.”

“It’ll happen one day, minskatt.  I promise you,” William encouraged as he tightened his grip around her with his one arm.  “You’re so talented.  Your dreams are going to come true and you’re going to look back and wonder why you ever doubted yourself.”

“Do you doubt me?” she asked suddenly.

“No,” William said without hesitation.  “Not for a second.”

Aberdeen stayed silent, bringing a hand up to wipe the few tears that had fallen down the side of her face.  She rested it on William’s forearm draped across her body.  “When I get like this, all my insecurities come out.  About my future, about everything.  Maybe I was never destined to be a writer.  Maybe I was destined to be a personal assistant or a bank teller.  Maybe I was destined just to be normal girl with a big nose and nothing special.”

“How can you say you’re nothing special when you’re my treasure?” he asked, burying his face in the crook of her neck and placing a light kiss there.  She couldn’t help but smile, and he smiled at the fact he made her smile.  “That has to count for something, right minskatt?” he stressed the word.

She nodded.  “It counts for everything.”  She looked directly into his baby blues, barely blinking.  “The second I leave here I’m going to plant the biggest kiss on your lips, Willy.  You have absolutely no idea.”

That caused William to laugh out loud before he bent down and gave her a quick kiss.  “Not if I beat you to it,” he said.

“You won’t.  Trust me.  God, I can hardly wait,” she said.  “I still don’t know why you keep waiting for me.”

“Are you listening?” he asked.

“Mhm.”

“I wait for you because I love you.  Because I love everything about you.”

“Even my big nose?”

“My favourite part of you,” he kissed the tip of it.  She could have cried again.  “It’s what makes you you.  I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

When she craned her neck to kiss him, she made sure to wrap her arms around his body and pull him close, wanting to feel his body on top of hers.  He got the hint, and stuck his tongue down her throat, and they kissed until he was hard again.  Though he hadn’t expected a second round, he was more than willing to partake.  He even made sure to bring extra condoms.  He always did now – since Valentine’s Day.  He had them everywhere: in his wallet, in his suitcase, in his shoe.  “I love you minskatt,” he mumbled against her lips.

She didn’t respond at first.  But when she did, it was with something he wasn’t expecting.  “Tell me how you want me.”

He froze for a brief second, the previous conversation they were just having still fresh in his mind.  “What?”

“Do you want me from behind?  On top?” she asked in a breathy voice.

He groaned.  “On top.”  

They switched positions so he was lying on his back.  Aberdeen climbed on top of him.  “Willy?” she asked.  “Can we…can we try something different?”

He nodded quickly.  “What is it, Aberdeen?”

“Can we…” she began, almost a bit embarrassed.  “Can I try reverse cowgirl?”

William couldn’t help but smile.  “Of course,” he said, gripping at her hips.  

“D’you have another condom?”

“My back pocket.”

She dismounted him, leaning over the bed to grab his pants on the floor and retrieve the packet.  When she straddled him again, she did it so her back was to his face.  He could feel her pump him a few times before she rolled on the condom, and he sighed at the feeling.  She looked over her shoulder at him.  “I love you, Willy.”

“I love you too,” he said, his hands back on her hips.  He helped her lower herself onto him, the both of the moaning at the feeling.  He loved watching himself disappear inside of her.  He noticed she wasn’t moving yet.  “You okay?” he asked.  

Aberdeen nodded her head.  “It feels so good,” she said.  “I’ve never…you know…”

“It’s okay,” he said, understanding what she wasn’t saying.  He couldn’t believe that her previous sexual partners were so selfish that they never let her explore what she liked or what she could possibly like or positions she could do.  He shuddered at the thought of her potentially asking and being turned down.  It made him angry just thinking about it.  He didn’t want her to be that way with him.  He wanted her to be completely open.  “Do what you feel comfortable with, minskatt.”

She began rolling her hips back and forth.  William groaned in response, and he could feel Aberdeen’s hands grip his thighs and her nails dig in slightly.  As she rocked herself on his cock, she began to moan, gasping out anytime William would buck his hips slightly.  He had to admit he liked the view, but what he liked even more was that she was enjoying herself on top of him, doing what she wanted.  

“Willy?” she asked suddenly.  She looked over her shoulder at him again.  She looked so innocent and he knew that she meant to do it, and he almost exploded right then and there as she bat her eyelashes at him.  “Can you…can you come up here?”

He did as he was told, pushing himself up and wrapping his arms around her body.  He kissed her back and dragged his lips along her skin to her shoulder and neck.  “What is it, minskatt?” he asked.

“What if I wanted to try more?”

If it was possible, William felt even hotter.  The sound of her voice saying those words was…indescribable.  “What do you mean?”

“You just make me feel so good.  I’ve never had anybody make me feel this way.  I feel so comfortable with you,” she said.  “You…I feel safe to try things with you.  Things I couldn’t try with other guys.”

He knew what she was getting at.  He placed a tender kiss on her shoulder.  “What do you want to try?” he asked.  She remained silent, wondering if she should have even said anything.  “Don’t be ashamed, minskatt.  What do you want me to do?”

She hesitated.  “D’you…can you pinch my nipples?”

He smiled because it was such a simple request.  He brought his hands up and cupped her breasts, pinching her nipples between his thumb and index fingers.  He felt her sharp intake of breath and her head leaned back into his shoulder.  He could tell by her reaction that she wanted more.  “What else?” he asked, biting down on her skin near her shoulder.  “What are you not telling me?”

“That,” she stressed.  He didn’t know what she meant.  “The bite.  You—You can fuck me, Willy.  I want you to fuck me.  You can be rougher with me.  I think I’ll like it.”

When William heard those words and how she emphasized them, he wanted to make sure.  Needed to make sure.  The first time they had sex it was a good old-fashioned hookup.  The second time they had sex they’d made love.  In subsequent times since, it was mostly making love, if only because they had waited so long to finally be together and that was what they wanted to “release” – love.  But now, with those words being said, he knew Aberdeen was ready to take the next step.  She was willing to go further.  She trusted him to go further with her, and only wanted to do it with him.  “Yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded.  “I trust you.  Fuck me, Willy.”

He pinched her nipples again, harder this time, and she gasped.  He started to move his hips too, moving inside of her, and she began to moan again.  Without warning, he fell back down on the bed, bringing her with him so her back was flush against his chest, though her knees were still bent and he was still in her.  This was definitely a new position for her, judging by her reaction – a quick “oh fuck” escaping her lips.  He heard her breathing get heavier as she felt one of his hands snake down from her breasts and on to her clit.  “Willy…” she moaned out.  

He started pounding into her, using his athletic physique to be able to so with such force in a new angle she’d never felt before.  Her moans fuelled him, and the moans changed to slight whimpers when he started rubbing at her clit.  “Fuck, Willy…” she managed to get out.

But he wasn’t done.  At least he didn’t want to be done.  His other hand, still pinching her nipple, moved up to her neck.  “Willy,” she mewled, bringing her own hand up and placing it over his.

“Is that okay?” he whispered into her ear.  He wasn’t applying any pressure – it was just sort of there – but that was apparently enough for her.  He wouldn’t have felt comfortable going further, anyway, at least without her verbalizing something.

“Yes Willy, fuck,” she arched her back.  “Fuck me.  Fuck me harder.”

He increased his pace.  Her cries let him know that even with those simple actions, she was feeling pleasure.  She was liking it.  She was getting what she wanted from him.  That was the only thing he wanted.  “I want you to cum all over my cock, Aberdeen,” he growled into her ear.  She didn’t answer, but when she arched her back again, he felt her walls tighten around his cock and he knew she was done.  He let himself find his release too, groaning in pleasure as her body writhed on top of his.  He didn’t stop rubbing her clit until her hand went over his to stop him.  Her body went still as he slipped out of her and she fell to his side, trying to regain her breath.  

After a couple of minutes, she curled around to face him.  “I know that was probably really tame but it was new for me.”

William shook his head.  He didn’t want her to feel nervous about anything.  “Baby steps,” he kissed her.  

“No guy has ever, like…asked what I like in the bedroom,” she admitted.  “So I couldn’t explore things.  Well I didn’t feel comfortable exploring things.  But I know I can with you.”

William nodded his head.  “Don’t worry, minskatt.  We can start slow.  No need to rush.  You can tell me what you like and where you’re willing to go.”

“You too.”

“Hmm?”

“You tell me what you like and where you’re willing to go, and I’ll go there with you too.”

He nodded his head, smiling.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.  More than anything.”

[dirty-holy-things]

The Space Between (your heart & mine)

Chapter 20 has been posted to Ao3, and below to Tumblr.

Catch up on chapters 1-19 on Ao3.

Notes: This fic is exclusively 18+ and explicit. This chapter includes references to, and descriptions of, abuse from a parent. It is no more extreme or explicit than any other chapters, but please exercise caution.

Words: 5.2k update, 98.1k total.

If you would like to be added to my taglist for updates on this project and / or others, please fill out this form!

You pushed yourself up from the bunk, feeling the woolen blanket scratching against you as your body shifted. Your legs wobbled unsteadily at your weight, having grown accustomed to the comfort of the bed; but you straightened your spine as you crossed the cabin of the ship to the man you loved, the man who was still avoiding your gaze. The floor was freezing cold against your bare feet, but the chill only made you more alert and aware of your body and the space around you. Each step felt progressively more confident than the last, until you were standing mere inches away from him. He continued to gaze above and away from you, not affording you the illusion of eye contact through the blackness of his visor, but you were undeterred. You loved him, and you had hurt him, and you wanted to make things right.

You extended your arms slowly, just as you had many nights ago, on your first night in the ship. You thought back to how you had once moved with such trepidation, such nervousness, wondering if he would allow you to show him kindness. He had chosen to let you hold him then, and you hoped that he would make that choice again; you hoped he would make that choice every day.

Your hands landed on his waist, and he didn’t retreat or push you away. You drew closer to him, your breaths staying focused and steady; and he allowed you to wrap your arms around him, moving underneath the beskar, as you needed to feel closer to him. You pulled his body into yours with a bit of force, and you could feel the exhale of his chest as he pressed into you. He didn’t pull away, just as he hadn’t pulled away that first night, and you were just as grateful now as you had been then.

"I think I could stand anything, any suffering, only to be able to say and to repeat to myself every moment, 'I exist.' In thousands of agonies - I exist. I'm tormented on the rack - but I exist! Though I sit alone in a pillar - I  exist! I see the sun, and if I don't see the sun, I know it's there. And there's a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

You blinked your eyes, and as they opened to the sights around you, you came to the realization that you were sitting on a beach; coarse sand shifting against your body, a whipping breeze moving through your hair, and navy blue waves crashing against the shores, setting off a cascade of ivory foam that exploded around you like fireworks. Yes, you were unmistakably by an ocean. You weren’t sure how you had gotten here — wherever here was — so you looked around for any clues that you could find.

You were in the same clothes you had been in on Nevarro. They were dirty — was that sand, or dust? What were those dark stains?

Dragging your palms through the coarse grey sands beneath you, you discovered there was nothing within your immediate grasp that would offer any clues; but you could feel stinging pinpricks across your body as the salty air blew against you. Looking around, your head swiveling, there was a sharp ache in your neck — but you pushed that pain away, needing focus on finding something that would give you some insight about where you were and what was happening.

Looking onwards, you saw that there were fearsome navy storm clouds rapidly approaching the shoreline you were seated at, and your eyes scanned the horizon nervously; you anxiously listened as the waves roared, almost like you had heard Din roar many times before.

Din.

Where was Din?

Your curiosity and worry was momentarily diminished as you felt something unexpected and wet fall against your warm cheek. Looking up, you understood that you were not crying, that the wetness on your face was not of your own doing. The roiling, dark clouds above you had now unleashed their freezing torrent, and the raindrops fell onto you with a steadily growing frequency that threatened to soak you through to the core within minutes.

You pushed yourself up from the sandy beach, brushing your stinging palm onto your pants to try and clean them off, before turning to try and find something in this unfamiliar landscape around you that may offer shelter. You had weathered many a storm, and knew of the aching cold that it would bring to those who were left exposed.

The landscape turned out to be not entirely unfamiliar — there were certainly many things out of place, but simultaneously recognizable in an irrefutable way. In the distance, through the fog of the rain, you could see what appeared to be your childhood home. The stone house was nothing spectacular or impressive, and it was quite small, but you would’ve recognized the pattern of those dark, moss-covered stones anywhere. You had spent many hours being forced to stare at the stone wall, after making the cat levitate, or talking to the pretty stranger woman in the marketplace who spoke a language that nobody else could understand. Somehow, you had come back to this place, to a home that was never really home.

As you shivered, the freezing rain running in rivulets down your body, you understood that you were being forced to make a choice. Sit here in the torrential downpour of rain, endure nature’s impersonal barrage; or seek shelter in the one place that had never truly been a shelter as it should have been.

You felt your heartbeat pick up speed with every fat raindrop that landed against you, their impact becoming steadily more and more forceful. Your thin jacket wasn’t holding up against the power of the storm, and with a shaking breath, you took a step towards the stone house. After all of these years, surely it was empty. Surely the inhabitants had changed, despite the resilience and timelessness of stone. This wasn’t really even your home planet — it was some amalgamation of memories and dreams from Eadu and Chandrila; it simply had to be.

The path to the house was a familiar one, although you knew that the home had never been close to an ocean — this absolutely must be some sort of dream, to bring together this combination of gorgeously torturous imagery — and as you drew closer towards the door with every step, you said a quiet prayer to whatever gods or Force that may accompany you, that the house from your memories would be empty. Your hand connected with the weathered and damp grey wood of the door, and you pushed your whole body weight against it, recalling how the door always stuck against the frame whenever it rained — which was often.

The door gave way as a particularly strong gust of wind blew against you, and you tumbled into an achingly familiar scene. The hearth across the room held a dying fire and red-black coals; the cots positioned around it were covered in the same green and grey blankets you had once wrapped yourself in; and the chest full of family valuables and heirlooms was tucked away in the corner, protecting the assorted quilts, books, and ceramic items that had been collected and protected throughout the years.

A sense of unease and comfort settled upon you simultaneously, almost as if the weight of a still-damp blanket had beed draped across your shoulders. Heavy, possibly well intentioned, and yet still unwanted.

It seemed to be blessedly empty, this memory of the house you had once known, and you were exceptionally grateful for that. The thought of a reunion with anyone from your past life, whether you were dreaming or awake, made your stomach clench in fear. Stepping through the entryway of the small house, you saw your father’s coat hanging by the door; it was weatherproof, as he worked endless hours on this rainy, desolate planet, and you were certain that if you were to pick it up it would still smell like him. Strong soap, a hint of tobacco, and an earthiness that could never be scrubbed out of the fibers, or the soul.

This isn’t real, you reminded yourself. This scene wasn’t really real, but the sensations felt as though they were, so you forced yourself to reach out for the jacket that would offer you warmth and protection from the storm. You felt tears prick your eyes as you shrugged the oversized coat onto your small frame; it was exactly as you had remembered it; and somehow it almost felt as though it were still warm. Retreating further into its protection and coverage, you stepped back out into the storm that was bettering the coast; your previous worlds of Eadu and Chandrila merging into one.

As you surveyed this unnatural scene, continually trying to rationalize and remind yourself it was a dream, you saw a familiar glint of silver — a glint of beskar. A scream tore itself from your throat as you bounced on your tiptoes, trying desperately to catch Din’s attention through the swirling debris that the powerful winds had whipped up. You could just barely see the thin line of the visor turn in your direction before your attention then turned to the small green toddler that was clambering across the sand dunes, the duo making their way towards you through the ceaseless rain.

You felt your heart leap at the sight of these two, the odd duo that you had come to love more than anything in this galaxy. You tried to run towards them, but as your muscles strained you felt as if there were an impossibly heavy weight cemented to you, holding you back from reconnecting with your true family. You fought harder and harder against the weights that held you down — and as your body fought back against this unseen power, you watched as Din and Grogu somehow begin to move even further away from you.

Arms reaching out desperately, you cried and clambered your way towards them, but for every step you took, you were dragged back threefold. Your muscles screamed in agony and exhaustion, your throat was raw from screaming their names — and yet they were still receding into the horizon, bodies eventually disappearing entirely behind the grey dunes and their grasses. This was a dream, but watching your family disappear could only be described as a nightmare.

And then out of nowhere, as you cried out for your companions, a wrinkled hand came swinging towards you at full force, landing across your face with a startlingly familiar impact that stung and smarted in a way that you hadn’t experienced in years. And yet, despite the respite from violence that Din had given you, you would’ve recognized those hateful hands anywhere.

You looked up into the aging face of your mother, hateful and wild, terror in her eyes — it held the same look that you had seen on the day you had run away; and your heart seized up in a paralyzing mix of fear and sadness, the same way it had the last time that you had seen her. All these years later, and you would still run from your mother. For all the growth, all the talents, all the forgiveness, all the skills you had developed — the instinct that had been beaten into you won out, and you felt adrenaline course through your bloodstream like gasoline to a fire, telling you to run like hell as you had once before.

As the fear and grief churned within you, the storm around you began to worsen as well. The crests of the waves grew taller, crashing with increasing ferocity; the stinging rain was now mixed with hail that threatened to break skin; and the winds that whipped around you threatened to knock you clear off of your feet.

“Well would you look at that,” your mother hissed, stepping away from you. “Ever the disaster, even now. All you bring is destruction!”

You shook your head, knowing this was a dream, knowing that what she said wasn’t true. This wasn’t real, this wasn’t right. You were only dreaming — you were really at home in the ship, wrapped securely in Din’s arms. This too will pass, you reminded yourself.

Though you knew it was only a dream, you wondered why did the sands and her words still sting, as the wind blew them into you? How could it still burn, knowing that no true pain was inflicted upon you?

Your mother looked towards the same horizon that Din and Grogu had disappeared behind, and you followed her gaze. “And of course, you’ve run off with whatever man gives you the slightest bit of attention — you clearly haven’t learned your lesson, stupid girl — wonder how long it’ll be before he has to start beating you like Orron did. Like I did.”

Her impossibly cruel and hateful words hit you with a breathtaking force, and you felt a concerningly familiar hatred and anger boiling within you, just as it had when you killed Bragant. Yes, you had killed Bragant — that truth could not be denied. You panicked at this sudden surge in emotions — you needed to control this, you needed to be in control, you didn’t want to lose yourself to that terrifying, encompassing darkness ever again —

And the very world around you began to violently shake as you fought back against the darkness, as you fought back against that thick, black, boiling hatred — you threw every ounce of yourself into pushing it away, wrenching your eyes shut in concentration, shutting out the painful image of your mother and her stinging, cruel hands. This evil, choking darkness felt as heavy and overwhelming as it had on Nevarro, but this time you fought it just as hard as you had fought for Din’s life on Bardotta. You were not going to let it win, you were not going to let it overtake you and drown out the humanity and love that you had so carefully cultivated. You could feel yourself screaming though the unyielding pressure and weight of the darkness, but as you clung to the smallest thread of light, you felt the vitriol and violence slowly begin to recede.

And then you saw Din and Grogu, reappearing on the storming horizon, fighting to cross over the shifting grey dunes to you.

They had fought to come back to you, despite the hurricane that you had created here.

Somewhere deep down inside, you had truly come to believe in their love and their dedication to you; and you had let go of the ideas of your mother, that you were nothing more than a source of pain and destruction. These two were living proof that you were capable of good things, that you were worthy of being loved, that you were capable of creating love and light, and growing something worth fighting for.

The thunder and crashing waves began to quiet, as the hint of a smile quirked your lips upwards. Your mother continued to stare in horror and disgust; you saw her mouth moving with hateful words, but you could no longer hear her voice. The torrential rain slowed around you, until it was barely a mist that settled across the landscape before you, and you felt the weight that had held you frozen in place slowly begin to lift. You stepped forward tentatively, your gaze moving past your still-screaming mother, to rest on the two that were now climbing down the last grey, rain-spattered dune.

You continued to step forward with rapidly growing confidence, until you were running at a breakneck pace, leaving your old cobblestone home behind — your heart was moving at lightspeed as you approached Din and Grogu, and as you came closer, you practically launched yourself into Din’s arms, colliding with the ice cold beskar with no regard for the bruises it would inadvertently press into your skin. As you wrapped your body around his, tears streaming down your face, the two of you somehow slipped — bodies tumbling, you landed on top of him in the sand, a laugh coming up from your chest to join the tears that had been brought to the surface.

You pressed your face into the cool beskar breastplate, your chest heaving with emotion; something was pressing into your arm, and you looked up to see that Grogu had climbed up onto the tangled pile of limbs, coming to rest between you, and he was making happy gurgling sounds that warmed your heart. This was your true family, these were the ones that you loved unconditionally, the ones that loved you back just the same.

The sound of the waves eventually disappeared, a silence settling around you; the winds slowly ceased to blow, and the sand that the three of you laid on disappeared beneath you, as the scene around you was wiped away and replaced with the scene of your true home — the Razor Crest.

***

You felt two strong and familiar hands on your shoulders, their grip insistent as they shook you from your sleep, as they shook off the dream that you had found yourself in just moments ago. Your eyes opened slowly, working to focus on the thin black visor that was in front of you — but something prevented you from focusing fully, and as you continued to blink you felt tears escaping from your eyes, rolling hotly down your cheeks. Your eyes flitted back and forth across the visor, as if you could see anything behind it, and you touched a shaking hand to your warm and swollen face that was covered with the dampness of tears. You must’ve been crying.

Din pulled you in close to him, sitting you up in the small bunk as your frame rested against his chest; he ran his hands through your hair, breathing deeply as he held onto you. “Are you alright? You were — you were crying, in your sleep. I couldn’t get you to wake up from it.” He sounded breathless, worried, nervous.

You nodded, your cheek brushing against the side of his freezing helmet as you worked to quiet the whimpering that was coming forth from you, and steady your shaking breaths. “It was just a dream,” you whispered, distantly recalling the storm that you had fought back against.

Din remained quiet as he continued to hold onto you; after all of the turmoil and upheaval of the past ... however many days, the two of you clung to each other even tighter, having experienced a taste of the devastation and terror that would accompany any separation.

Your breaths and heart rate slowed and became more steady; the ship was just as it had been before you and Din had fallen asleep against one another. You were safe, you were home. You pulled away from him slightly, wanting to reassure him that everything was alright. Your hand rose from your side to rest against the sharply angled beskar helmet. “I’m okay, Din, I promise. It was just a...”

Your voice faded off as you saw the utility jacket that dwarfed you. Your eyes widened in incredulity as you slowly extended your arms in front of you, seeing the sturdy weatherproof material move as your body moved within it.

“Just a dream,” you whispered, not wanting to scare Din, or have to try and explain something that you had no explanation for. You would address this new mystery at another time. You pushed this newfound mystery and worry to the side, focusing on the man in front of you who had remained by your side through all of the chaos.

Chaos, that could not remain unspoken. “Din,” you started, shifting to face him better. “I know what happened... with Bragant.”

His sigh crackled through the modulator as he moved to bring you back into his chest, but you resisted. The truth of this couldn’t be denied any longer, and you would have to confront this reality and assess how it would affect your future.

“Bragant was a bounty. He was a criminal. You won’t be in any... trouble, for what happened. Karga offered to... pay. If you want.”

You inhaled deeply, trying to wrap your mind around this information, trying to wrap your mind around everything that felt both insurmountable and invisible at the same time. “I hadn’t — hadn’t even thought about any legal consequences.”

“The Marshall assured me that you wouldn’t face any.”

You nodded, feeling grateful that this piece had been resolved before you even had time to worry about it. “It’s not only that, Din — when I was there, in that alley — he said things to me, awful things,” you paused, as you noticed your voice was shaking, and you fought back against the tears that rushed to your eyes and the heat that was rising in your throat. “When he said those things, I got... I got so angry. Angrier than I had ever been, angrier than I ever knew I could get. And I... I lost control.”

“You defended yourself against a violent criminal.” Din’s voice droned through the modulator. He was stating a fact, but this fact didn’t cover the whole truth of the matter. There was more to it than he wanted to acknowledge, but you had to.

“Din,” you spoke up, your voice holding an insistent edge that quieted the protests of the historically stubborn man. “Din, I killed someone. When I didn’t mean to. I lost control, back there, in that alley — I understand that killing may not seem significant to you, but it does to me, that was a lifethat I took —“

Din pulled away from you abruptly, a bit harshly. “You think that killing others doesn’t affect me? Is that what you really think of me?” His voice was louder than you had ever heard it before, and it cracked with strain and frustration; you could hear the hurt through the modulator. “Do you think that I enjoy it, like some sadistic bastard? Do you think that I don’t carry the weight of every single life I’ve ended?”

You cowed at his brazen display of pain and frustration, and an instinctual part of yourself pulled away from him, your legs and arms retracting inwards to protect yourself. You felt a hot wave of tears crashing into you, and you buried your head in the crook of your elbow, not wanting to upset him, not wanting to make this worse than it had to be.

“No, Din, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” You whispered, your voice breaking; you weren’t sure if he even heard you as your face was hidden from view, buried within your arms. You screwed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for whatever fury may follow.

It stayed silent for several moments, the tension and emotion rolling thickly off of the both of you; the air felt heavier, and each breath required more effort to draw the weighted air into your lungs. As you slowly came to the realization that nothing horrible was going to happen, came to the realization that Din was nothing like the ones who had come before, you lifted your head up from your arms to confront this emotional scene... but without violence. You had never experienced conflict without violence before; you didn’t know how to handle it, but you knew that you loved Din and trusted him.

He was now standing in the cabin rather than seated directly next to you; his body was facing yours, and yet his head was turned away. This was an intentional choice on his part; his body language spoke volumes, and he knew that every inch of positioning was intentional. And despite all of the beskar, despite all of the weapons, and despite all of the mental walls that he threw up against you — you could still feel how your careless words had cut him deeply. You had hurt Din, and you had to confront that. You had to acknowledge that, and work towards repairing this.

You pushed yourself up from the bunk, feeling the woolen blanket scratching against you as your body shifted. Your legs wobbled unsteadily at your weight, having grown accustomed to the comfort of the bed; but you straightened your spine as you crossed the cabin of the ship to the man you loved, the man who was still avoiding your gaze. The floor was freezing cold against your bare feet, but the chill only made you more alert and aware of your body and the space around you. Each step felt progressively more confident than the last, until you were standing mere inches away from him. He continued to gaze above and away from you, not affording you the illusion of eye contact through the blackness of his visor, but you were undeterred. You loved him, and you had hurt him, and you wanted to make things right.

You extended your arms slowly, just as you had many nights ago, on your first night in the ship. You thought back to how you had once moved with such trepidation, such nervousness, wondering if he would allow you to show him kindness. He had chosen to let you hold him then, and you hoped that he would make that choice again; you hoped he would make that choice every day.

Your hands landed on his waist, and he didn’t retreat or push you away. You drew closer to him, your breaths staying focused and steady; and he allowed you to wrap your arms around him, moving underneath the beskar, as you needed to feel closer to him. You pulled his body into yours with a bit of force, and you could feel the exhale of his chest as he pressed into you. He didn’t pull away, just as he hadn’t pulled away that first night, and you were just as grateful now as you had been then.

As you rested your head against the unyielding, cold steel of his breastplate, you pressed your hands even deeper into him, trying to convey all of your love and sorrow through touch alone; you hated that you hurt him, that you ever caused him a single moment of doubt. “Din, I’m so sorry,” you sighed. “I was — I wasn’t thinking, when I said what I said before. It was crass, and careless, and completely untrue. You’re a good man, Din Djarin. The best man I’ve ever known, and I’ve never even for a moment thought you were anything less than that.”

“Your measure for good men is concerning.”

You couldn’t tell through the warping of the modulator if he was being sarcastic, and making a joke; or if he was still smarting from your earlier words.

You pursed your lips, nodding against him. “You’re right. My gauge for a moral compass is a bit broken, a bit biased. But you have been the brightest spot in my life, the brightest star in my sky, and I want you to know that I think you are a better man than you give yourself credit for.”

You could sense a change in the beat of his heart, could hear it echoing against the beskar you were resting against. His posture shifted as his arms came to wrap themselves around you, drawing you into the familiar lines and curves of his body. You sighed in relief, melting into him, trusting that he had accepted your apology and forgiven you.

“I love you,” he whispered, so quietly that the modulator only barely altered the true sound of his voice. “I know that... what happened, was hard for you. You’re sweet, and kind, and that’s... one of the many things I love about you.” He was quiet for a moment as he pulled you in tighter, nearly lifting your now-freezing feet off of the ground. “I want to do whatever I can to help you.”

You nodded against him, a few tears escaping as you knew that you had his understanding and his support; and that was all you needed to trust that you would be able to navigate this uncharted territory together. You weren’t alone in this; you had Din and Grogu, and the three of you would find your way through this new challenge, as you had found your way through many before. You pulled away from his strong grasp, trying to gaze into the black and blank visor, needing at least some illusion of contact and connection. “I just... Din, I don’t know where to go from here. I’ve read books from at least 10 different planets, from 100 different cultures, and I haven’t got a single clue about how to manage this or what I can do to be better.”

Din stayed silent, as he often did, but you could feel the way that his fingers pressed more deeply into your body, imparting a sort of comfort that only he could give. You could feel his concentration as he contemplated what to say next; he had never been rash or rushed with his words, and it was one of the many things that you loved and appreciated about him.

“When I was traveling with Grogu, we crossed paths with a… Jedi. Ahsoka Tano.” Din paused, understanding the weight of the information that he was sharing with you. “She... said she couldn’t train Grogu, because he was too attached to me.”

Your lips quirked up in a smile, a small laugh coming from your chest. “She wouldn’t want anything to do with me, then.”

You heard Din chuckle quietly, and you felt a wave of relief wash over you as you knew he was not holding any grudges. “No, she wouldn’t train you either. But she told me that there is a planet, that has a... rock, that is important to the Force. Or to the Jedi. She said that by sitting on it, Grogu may be able to connect with other Jedi in the galaxy.”

An eyebrow raised up in suspicion at the story he shared. “Sitting on a rock will help us find another Jedi?”

Din shrugged, and you could imagine a clueless and befuddled look existed behind the beskar. “I don’t know. All of that magic — sorry, Force — stuff seems impossible to me. And yet I’ve seen it.” He gently tucked away the strands of hair that had fallen into your face, his hand coming to rest at your chin, lifting your gaze back to his anonymous one. “It seems too simple, just going to this rock — but it may be the best option we have.”

You nodded, resting your head in his large hand, enjoying the warmth of the contact. “I want to talk to Grogu first, though. I want to make sure this is something he wants too.”

Din nodded in understanding. “I’ll give you some space to clean up, and then we can meet Karga and the Marshall in town. They’ve been looking after the kid. We can talk about the bounty pay, and then set a course for Tython.”

You reached up to squeeze his gloved hand gently before turning to retreat to the fresher, to try and wash away some of the stress and the pain of the past several days. Your head felt as though it was swimming, or spinning, or both, with all of the upheaval that you had experienced; and as you shrugged yourself out of the weathered, industrial jacket that had somehow made its way onto your frame, you felt even more disoriented. You gripped the edge of the steel sink tightly, taking deep and slow breaths until you felt steady enough on your feet to turn on the water of the shower. You shrugged out of the rest of your clothes, your muscles still aching with exhaustion.

The blistering hot water rolled down your skin, and you worked to clear your mind and return to the meditative state that Ixxith had once taught you. Your body went through the motions of cleaning, your mind going peacefully blank and quiet. You couldn’t solve any of your problems or overcome the complexities while in the shower; so you saved that stress for another, more appropriate time.

When you had finally scrubbed away the last of the grit and grime that clung to you, feeling like a new and whole person, you dressed yourself and met Din outside of the ship that you had been encapsulated and recovering in for days. The sunlight felt harsh on your skin, but you welcomed the sensation that you had gone so long without. Stretching your limbs out into the open air, you smiled confidently over at Din, hoping that the confidence and bravado that you projected would eventually sink in and become more real.

He placed his gloved hand onto the small of your back, and you could feel the pads of his fingers pressing into the vertebrae of your spine, holding you up and encouraging you forward, just as he had so many times before. It was a quiet kind of support, but the weighted silence and intentional touches spoke more than any texts or volumes could, and his love and confidence made you stronger and more empowered than any Force training could.

Whatever happened next, on Nevarro, on Tython, on any other far-fetched planet in this galaxy, you knew without a doubt that you would face it together. You would face it with the kind of love that could only have grown in the quiet places of the ship, in the cold of hyperspace, between those who had been denied love and yet held an extraordinary capacity for it.

Taglist: @knivesareout @tanzthompson @stageleftlauren @greatcircle79 @bdavishiddlesbatch

[has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong]

Gilgamesh's Bizarre McDonalds Adventure

A short story about Gilgamesh's first experience at McDonalds. A great adventure ensues!!!

It was a blistering hot day within the city; golden rays of sunlight beaming overhead. As Gilgamesh made his way through the bustling masses of humans surrounding his resplendent visage, he caught sight of a rather mundane building, with sparkling golden arches attached to it. Although its architecture was bland- if not entirely disappointing for the king-he appreciated their logo.

"Hoh, what an amusing use of gold that is!" Perching his Gucci brand sunglasses on the bridge of his perfectly-shaped nose, curiosity danced a merry jig within his heart. He would check out this location, poste-haste!

Seas of passers-by split in two, as they gazed in awe at the fashionable king of heroes, mouths agape with wonder. As Gilgamesh soaked within the ecstasy of receiving such arduous attention, he trooped inside of the local McDonalds. He was a man on a mission. As he gazed upon the glowing boards, and begrudgingly joined the queue; he formulated an order within his mind.

'Although one such as I should have no need to wait, I shall exercise patience for now.' Gilgamesh was much more patient than some would perceive him to be. Although he possessed disdain for the laws of the mongrels, he would sometimes abide to them.

Finally. The queue had ever-so-rightfully dispersed, finally giving him the chance to make an order! As Gilgamesh glided towards the counter, his gleaming red orbs widened with horror. Bright orange hair, golden eyes, and a worn-out expression...

Standing right before him was none other than his master, Gudako.

"Hello, how may I collect your order- HOLY SHIT!" Ruby red eyes gazed into amber ones; confusion etched upon both of their faces. "G-GILGAMESH?! WHY ARE YOU AT MCDONALDS?!"

"Heh, you've asked a good question, mongrel," Plonking his arm upon Gudako's worktop, he leans forward; eyes gleaming. "It was nothing but a mere coincidence! Places as inferior as these don't usually garner my attention, but..."

"...You liked the golden arches of the logo, didn't you?" Gudako couldn't help but crack a grin at that.

"You know your king well." It took all of Gudako's strength to stop herself from bursting out into laughter from that.

Lowering her cap so that Gilgamesh couldn't catch her befuddled expression, she sighs. "But to think we'd meet when I'm on shift! That's a funny coincidence."

"If only I had known sooner. I would've taken great pleasure in extorting my connection with you to obtain an endless supply of nuggets!" Realization dawned upon Gilgamesh, as he snapped his fingers. "On that note. I shan't dally any further. Bring me two units of 20-piece chicken nuggets, Gudako!"

"Understood." It took Gudako a monumental amount of effort to stop herself from laughing at the sheer absurdity of this situation. On average, she found him to be utterly frightening; but during times such as these, he was quite fun to be around.

"That'll be USD $10-" A massive golden bar smashed against the counter, as the surrounding customers' eyes popped out of their sockets. "...I only asked for $10..." No matter how many times Gudako tried to pass the gold bar back, Gilgamesh vehemently refused. "B-but, Gilgamesh...W-we can't melt gold at McDonalds, you know..."

"And why should I care? This gold bar is for nobody but you. Take that as payment for providing me with such ample entertainment." Gilgamesh deviously winked as he left the counter, leaving an array of gobsmacked staff and customers behind. "Despite being in such a drab location; today's customer service was well beyond my expectations!!" As he went to collect his order- as fellow staff yelled and cheered as they crowded around the gold- Gudako desperately desired to be swallowed up by the ground.

'W-what the hell...' Gilgamesh really did march to the beat of his own drum sometimes...

|o|

Confidentially cradling two boxes of nuggets within his arms, Gilgamesh was about to make his way towards his seat; until a small figure bashed against his leg.

'Of all the godforsaken things to happen-' Gilgamesh was fully prepared to eviscerate the being who would dare to collide with his leg. However, he rescinded once he caught sight of what it was.

"M-my chicken nuggets...." It was none other than a small child, their nuggets splayed across the floor. "My poor nuggets..." As the child began to burst into tears, Gilgamesh crouched besides them.

"Mongrel." Gilgamesh commanded their attention instantly, as they spun to face him. "You should employ the utmost of caution when traipsing around places such as these." Feeling ashamed, the kid was about to burst into tears again, until Gilgamesh softly placed a hand on their shoulders; his expression warm. "Shh, there's no need to cry."

"B-but sire, my nuggets...They're the highlight of my day..."

"Hoh, is that so?" As the kid nodded their head, the king cackled with laughter. "You possess rather fine tastebuds, young one. Well then, shall I pay you with some nuggets in reparation?" The kid's eyes leapt with joy, as Gilgamesh passed him an entire box of nuggets. "Now, be off."

The kid happily yelled 'thank you!' as they waved and ran back to their table. Although Gilgamesh was a little pained to be passing with his nuggets, he didn't mind lending the child a hand.

However, he wouldn't have to mourn his nuggets for long! Not too soon after, another staff member passed him a new 20 pack of nuggets. "Here you go. The boy's parent wanted to give you a peace offering or something-" Before the staff could finish speaking, Gilgamesh randomly thrust a $10 dollar bill into their hand. "W-whoa, what's this?"

"Your tip. Take it."

It looked like he'd still get to eat 40 nuggets, after all.

|o|

As he finally located an empty table situated by the window, a set of very familiar figures assaulted his vision. A bespectacled purple-haired girl, a man decked in a cursed Hawaiian T-shirt, another character with spiky white hair; and a radiant, red-haired woman were all seated together, sharing a vast array of fast food.

"Oho, look who the cat decided to drag in here today!" Gilgamesh all but exclaimed, as he smirked at the unlucky bundle of servants.

"...I could say the exact same thing." Archer sighed, as he shifted as far away from Gilgamesh as possible, as Mash dropped her fries into her milkshake in shock- Boudicca almost choking on her burger.

"G-geh, Gilgamesh? What the hell are you doing here?!" Lancer Cu's face contorted with displeasure. "Of all the fucking people to appear..."

"And why should I satisfy you with an answer, mongrel?" Gilgamesh's response elicited nothing but sighs. "Let me hazard a guess- that faker over there is the reason why you're all gathered here today."

"That's just like you, to ask us for an answer; without providing one of your own. How classy of you." Archer was practically radiating with sarcasm. Before the two of them could start an argument, Mash cut in.

"Yes, we decided to give Gudako a surprise visit today!" Mash all but beamed. "I'm glad to see senpai working so hard at her job." As her and Boudica openly explained their motives to the king, Archer sighed.

At this rate, he'd never be rid of Gilgamesh.

TO BE CONTINUED....(lmao its only a parody fic)

[jostenneil]

Hey Faatima, I was reading one of your posts about how making Batman an abusive parent doesn't make sense with his character and I realize; I feel like I've seen this trope in like Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and Star Wars and even heard it happened in tv shows like Avatar the Last Airbender and the Naruto sequels about the next generation. Is it just me, or is this trope a common thing now?

Mmm, kind of, but I also think Bruce is a different case from most of the examples mentioned here, barring Harry (at least from what I know of the Cursed Child). Star Wars, Avatar, and Naruto, while they do have their own slew of problems to do with parental portrayals, focus more on neglect as a failing than they do abuse, and even within that category each of them approach it to different effect. Han and Leia's "neglect" because of their responsibilities is used as causality for Kylo being vulnerable to the Dark Side, and when you already have a character like Anakin whose fall was predicated by the fact that he was a slave's child never fully taken seriously by the justice system that he entered into, Kylo's back story falls flat in comparison. It doesn't critique Han and Leia's parenting in any tangible capacity let alone makes them look like awful parents, because the reasons for him turning to the Dark Side feel so ridiculous to begin with. Naruto is weird because objectively speaking many of the original characters are portrayed as awful parents (especially Sasuke), but it's set-up within a feel-good, gag-like atmosphere so those failings on their part aren't as heavy hitting as they would be in a more serious show. For the most part, older audiences understand Boruto is a really bad simulation and nothing in it should be taken seriously because it's meant for little kids. As for Avatar, that's one of the few pieces of media where I actually enjoy the parental portrayals, specifically Aang and Toph. I feel like their circumstances in the original show inform a lot of why they act the way they do as parents. Aang sees nearly his entire heritage and culture be erased from the world, so it makes sense he'd grow incredibly attached to the child capable of carrying that culture forward and reviving it, and that it comes at the cost of his relationships with his other children. Toph grows up in a strained and controlling home environment, so it makes sense her parenting style is incredibly lax and unorthodox in comparison, and that it's difficult sometimes to communicate effectively with her children.

With Bruce, to me, the issue with injecting abusive tendencies into his character is that it's 1) not predicated by any of his existing qualities or initially established persona, and 2) it's increasingly used to warp who he is as a character without any promise of actually being addressed? Like. . . obviously, not to say that I would enjoy him being portrayed as abusive in any capacity, but maybe it would be "easier" (for lack of a better word) to stomach if his abuses against his children were ever challenged in any tangible capacity that caused him to be accountable or to change. It feels like DC tacks on "abusive" as a static personality trait with no actual ramifications for the character itself, and that's why it comes off as so bizarre to me that people take it at face value. Bruce's childhood experiences explain his tendency to isolate himself or push people away because of issues he has with addressing guilt, and that plays heavily into his ability to communicate effectively with others, but I don't think that's automatic cause for him to be verbally or physically abusive. The "good soldier" spiel that Frank Miller used as a means to illustrate his relationship with the Robins frustrates me so much, because to me it goes against everything that Miller portrayed of Bruce in Year One. Bruce chastises himself for his lapses in control when he's first trying out the crime-fighting gig, and given his own intense complexes and fears about sending people he loves to their deaths, it does make sense he'd stress caution and care to any Robins (or otherwise) under his tutelage. But it's just. . . so weird that this idea is warped under the guise of a more militant interpretation with Bruce only viewing his wards as soldiers towards his cause, when that goes directly against any of their origins with him. Bruce let Dick be Robin because he saw how lonely and vengeful he was following his parents' death, and he wanted to be able to help Dick work through those emotions without endangering himself in the process. Bruce let Jason be Robin because he saw a kid who was really troubled but had a strong sense of justice, and he thought being Robin could help put Jason on a productive path. Bruce literally did not want Tim to be Robin because of how traumatized he was after Jason's death, and he only allowed for it when he saw how much patience Tim was willing to exercise with the endeavor. Like, the hyperbole of the superhero genre and its overarching tendency to send kids into battle aside, I don't really understand where the idea comes from that Bruce is someone who just takes kids out onto the battlefield at whim because they're soldiers towards his cause. He's very clearly concerned with his wards' safety, and while his communication skills in the wake of his wards' lives being endangered are not ideal, they still stem ultimately from a fear that they will die because he sent them out there to die. It's just absolutely crazy to me that so many writers completely miss how much of his behavior stems from his sense of guilt and self-blame and not because of a militant attitude towards justice, and ultimately that misread and projection of macho tendencies onto the character is what's ruined him for a lot of people.

[heartwoodventures]

Primary Access Required: Testing, Testing

In which Heartwood heads back to (bloody) Coerthas in order to test Aislinn’s aether dampener and catch themselves a spidery bioweapon!

Aislinn arrived in Heartwood’s front hall after a quick rest and a change of clothes. Seeing Rising near the tanks, she walked up and peered into the aquarium. "How's your friend?" she asked, doing away with any preamble.

Rising was eyeing the smaller fish swimming around the bottom of the tank as Aislinn approached. "Seems like he's doin' alright! If he ain't been eaten yet I don't think he will."

Aislinn gave a brief smile as she caught sight of the little bugger. "Looks like he's one of the team now. Good on him." she nodded before turning and taking a seat to wait for things to get under way. "How about yourself? How's things?"

Cravendy slips out from her room and joins the others by the couches. Once seated, she immediately begins to fiddle with her gun, double and triple checking its parts on repeat.

Riylli lazily waves to Cravs as she enters and takes a seat near her. "Hey! Have we always had this many Miqo'te in the company? Why'd no one tell me?"

"Still need a name though." Rising rubs her chin as she was clearly running through suitable options in her head. "Crimble I suppose seems alright, an' can't complain here, yourself? Carve anythin' neat yet?"

"Crimble." Aislinn tried the name out a few times, murmuring it under her breath. "Aye, that fits. Tiny-sounding. Like a crumb or a thimble." At Rising's question though, she tilted her head. "I'm getting really good at spatulas. And kindling. Lots of kindling for the fire." she replied in a deadpan way before shrugging in wry amusement. "So it goes."

"Well then after you start your fire with the kindlin' you have somethin' to flip your food at least! I guess next thing ya should work on is a fork or a plate eh?" Rising plopped down on the other chair, cursing a moment later. "Shite, we're headin' to Coerthas right?"

N'yami moved through the estate with a carbuncle following right behind her, the Seeker chose to stand next to the railing and eye the group that had showed up. Ears flicked at the mention of Riylli's comment then offered a small wave. "I tend to hide out in my workshop, only come out when I'm either needed or dragged out."

N'ana Firesong stretches.

“I always figured ye cat-folk kept to yourselves...” Cravendy dips her head at N’yami. Case in point.

Riylli waved back to N'yami and flashed her a quick grin. "Well, it's nice to finally meet ya then. My names Riylli." She said, before her friendly attitude turned on a dime as she turned back to Cravs. "Don't call us cats." She said, her voice cold and clearly annoyed.

Haila meanwhile, merely remained silent. She could see new faces being involved in this particular case, and it didn't bring any relief more than worry. Having more people meant bigger risks of losing someone again, or at least, such was the case in her eyes as she glanced around with a small frown.

N'ana Firesong simply dusted her legs and made herself comfortable.

Evelyn Blazewing laughs and shakes her head upon hearing Riylli's comment. "Fufufu... this vessel is merely temporary. But I suppose I am still /technically/ a Miqo'te..." She brought her bandaged right hand up to cover the left side of her face. "I much prefer the company of my familiar than I do that of mortals. But, I figured I should at least come out every once in a while to converse with the commoners..." She smiled smugly to herself with her last comment.

Riylli Aliapoh raised an eyebrow at Evelyn's comment, then looked around the room to check everyone elses reactions only to find no one looking as confused as she was. "Erm... Right. Well, nice to meet you too... I think."

N'yami Synch: "N'yami, ya ever need somethin' fixed lemme know and I'll lend a hand." The carbuncle next to the Seeker jumped up onto the Seeker's shoulder to wrap around her like a scarf, the summon wanted to feel a part of the conversation. "Oh, and this is Whackara before she hits me for not introducin' her." The summon puffed out her chest with joy. "So I'm sure the rest of ya are as excited as I am to head out to Coerthas and deal with that cold hell."

Cravendy Hound grunts, but obliges to Riylli’s request. She was used to hanging out with pirates whose conversations were often thinly veiled insulting contests, and old habits die hard. “Right...Mee-quote-tay. Not cat.”

Aislinn was about to open her mouth to reply to Rising but quickly shut it as N'yami started talking. She turned her attention to the miqo'te and simply sighed. Damned bloody Coerthas.

N'ana Firesong: "What is in this Cold hell ye are dealing with?"

Haila Wetyios: "The reason we're short three people within the Company right now..." was all she'd comment, choosing to allow N'yami to take the floor on this one.

N'yami Synch: "Allagan spider creatures that some crazed scientist made to drain aether from living things...." She paused and thought it over for a moment. "I think that about sums it up." The Seeker shrugged. "I just got pulled into this recently."

Evelyn chuckles to herself. "Ah, are you all going out? I, Evelyn Blazewing, third incarnation of Lord Blazewing the Phoenix, the Eternal Ember, shall accompany you. You said we are headed to Coerthas, is that right, mortal? Fufufu... a phoenix not need worry about the cold. You should be most glad that I'm tagging along! My prowess with fire shall prove most useful to all of you there... i-if you'll have me, I mean." She looked away a bit at her last statement.

Rising Lotus grumbled more as their location was confirmed, shrugging as Riylli glanced at her. "Don't have my damn cold gear with me..gonna be a fun day." she sighed and slumped down a bit in the chair.

After casting an askance look at Evelyn and her declaration, Aislinn murmured almost to herself. "I'll have to grab my bleeding coat before we head out." If Aislinn hated anything, it was the cold.

N'ana Firesong: "Well then meh blade if for ye then. Don't know much of whatever these spiders are but aye am always willing to test meh metal."

Riylli grinned. "Finally, I've been waiting to go after those spiders ever since I joined this group! You can't just lead with that then make me build up some town for moons instead. I'm built for smashing, not building!"

Haila snapped her eyes towards one of the newcomers. "Pride won't do you any good in this, nor recklessness. These things have casters as their primary targets each and every single time we've come across them." she said, immediately sighing afterwards as she raised a hand to her forehead. "It goes without saying that magic should be the very VERY last resort in this expedition you're all about to go." she added, this time glancing at everyone.

Cravendy Hound: “Are ye all ‘earin’ what I’m ‘earin’? Or am I ‘avin’ some kind of...” Cravs shakes her head in confusion at Evelyn’s remarks. But it was all very curious to her, and she found herself wondering about the curious character. “Aye, let’s bring along that one.”

N'yami had a very confused look on her face for a moment but it vanished as soon as it appeared. "Well, I believe Aislinn had a device to help us?" She perked a brow when looking over to the Hyur. "Last time we talked we were goin' to use me as bait for pullin' the creature in while the rest of ya bring it down."

Haila Wetyios: "All of this while keeping the spider as intact as possible. 'Tis all I'd ask to finish cracking the data and communication they all share."

N'ana Firesong: "So we are studying them, not slaying them."

Riylli Aliapoh breathed a sigh of relief that someone else was hearing what Evelyn was saying, and that she had not just gone insane. But she had another concern now, turning to Haila, "Wait, we can't use magic? No one said anythin' about not using magic."

Aislinn nodded to N'yami. "The aether dampener, aye. Did you remember to grab it from your mother's desk?" she asked. "Like I said before it. ..*should* mask a person's aether signature a great deal. But, you can't get something for nothing. In return, it makes using aether far more difficult. Like training with weights on. Should being the operative word. I've tested it out here but it's never really been field tested before. And not against those bioweapons." she added.

N'yami’s ears went down for a moment, that's right she was supposed to grab it. But never fear Whackara was on the case! The carbuncle swatted Yami over the head before opening her mouth to show the object they were talking about. "Oh yea! Gave it to ya to protect." Holding her hand out the carbuncle just dropped it in Yami's hands like it was no big deal. Clearly this wasn't the first time the carbuncle was used for storage.

Cravendy‘s frown deepens at the mention of N’yami being bait. “It sounds like ye ‘ave all the pieces aligned, but that sounds risky. If it looks like yer in trouble, then ye’ll ‘ave to forgive me for trashin’ the enemy.”

"We've lost three people so far, all of them having a specialty somehow tied to conjury or white magic. We can't take extra risks again." Haila paused, turning over to Riylli. 

"When the first person went missing, a group of three assembled secretly and went to try and find them without telling anyone... Needless to say, only the one person that wasn't exactly magically inclined came back. Those creatures are an army of machina to say the least."

Evelyn Blazewing sighs. "Fine, mortal. I shall hold my magic unless it is absolutely necessary. You needn't worry regardless, for a phoenix always rises from her ashes!" She struck a small pose, leaning back in her seat for a moment before returning to her usual position. "So we're letting it live? Perhaps it is best I not use my magic after all..." She sighs and shrugs. "I will simply find another way to assist you all, then. I shall exercise extreme caution so you do not worry, viera. Does that help ease your nerves?"

Riylli Aliapoh peaked up from over the back of her couch to listen to Aislinn explain. "Well... I should be able to work with using less aether, but you won't be getting me at my best! I was hoping to show off proper this time too, since no one could see anything during that dodo fight..."

Aislinn nodded in thanks to the carbuncle for remembering. She looked back to N'yami. "Once you're ready, just cuff it to your wrist, the stone and circuitry should do the rest." she once more eyed Evelyn with a wary gaze.

Haila Wetyios: "As long as you keep your own distance, I won't complain." she merely stated with a serious tone, though from her voice, it was clear that she had her own reservations or even personal feelings about this entire case.

Rising Lotus raised her hand "Going with what Cravs said, in case things start to go sour, we ought to have a signal or somethin' to switch from catchin' to smashin' and gettin' outa there."

Aislinn turned her attention to Riylli. "Unfortunately, I only had time to create one prototype." she jerked her chin to the one in N'yami's hands. "The rest of us need to be careful."

Riylli groaned. "Great... Guess I'll just... Play defense, or somethin'..." She muttered, totally pouting over not getting to fight the spiders properly

"Should I put it on now or wait till we get there?" N'yami eyed Riylli for a moment, an actual caster would be better playing bait but the Seeker couldn't bring herself to letting the others getting injured if things went bad.

Aislinn does her best to hold her tongue in the face of such idealistic exuberance. The gravity of the loss of Heartwood members in the face of these bioweapons hadn't truly sunken in for the new recruits. Sometimes experience was the best teacher. She looked to N'yami and took a refocusing breath. "Depends on if you think you're going to need to call upon some aether between now and then."

“Scream once if yer in trouble, twice if yer just foolin’ with us.” Cravs dryly advises N’yami.

"What happens if I do it three times?" N’yami grinned, joking of course and an attempt to lighten the mood. "No worries, if things start goin' bad I'll let ya know guys know."

Evelyn: "Ah, is that what our signal shall be? Primitive and simple, yet effective. The success of our mission is all but assured regardless if we take the necessary precautions."

N'yami nodded. "So." N'yami clipped the item onto her wrist. "Who wants to hold the Carbuncle? If things start goin' bad she'll let ya know." The summon’s ears perked up and pitch black orbs looked around the room to determine who her Coerthas buddy will be.

Evelyn raises her hand enthusiastically. "I shall care for thy familiar, mortal. Choose me, and you shall not regret it."

Cravendy Hound tries to lean into N’yami’s confidence, and tries to tell herself this mission will be smooth sailing. But an ever familiar anxiety sets her heart pumping.  Cravs huffs, and moodily looks to the corner of the table.

"Whackara is connected to me, if I'm in trouble her fur will bristle so just keep an eye on that." The carbuncle jumped down from N'yami's shoulder and went to sit on the arm of the chair where Evelyn was, a paw reached out to rest on the red heads shoulder as if to say 'Buddy'.

Evelyn grinned quietly to herself and chuckled. "The pact is complete, then. I shall guard this one with my life. You needn't worry, I will simply resurrect should anything happen to me. Your safety is all but assured, friend." She reaches a hand out to softly pet the carbuncle.

Rising Lotus "We have somethin' to catch it or keep it too right? Or should we jus' break it's legs an' bring it in?" she crossed her arms and leaned back into her chair. "Granted I don't know anythin' near enough 'bout them as Haila, but I do remember ya sayin' it can call other ones too right? Do we have some way to stop that?"

Haila turned over to Rising, "No ways to disrupt it yet I'm afraid, 'tis one strong signal, but the best would be to drag the straggler you mean to capture as far away as possible before it calls reinforcements."

N'yami hummed in thought for a moment. "Could use wires? A barrier would just be absorbed by the damn thing, but we would need a couple people who would want to volunteer to just jump the damn thing and tie it up."

Aislinn let her gaze drift over to Rising and Cravendy

Evelyn sighed and looked around. "Unfortunately, this vessel's arms are quite frail, otherwise I would love to volunteer... are any mortals willing to take the lead?"

“Seems easier to just break its legs. We won’t be needin’ those to do whatever we need the spider for, right?” Cravendy looks around, suddenly wary of another’s gaze on her. “Jump it. Beat it up. Been there, done that...”

Rising Lotus grimaces "Ugh, alright. I don't wanna see a wave of them things again if I can help it." she glanced at N'yami as she offered her suggestion. "..that sounds like it'd work, sure Cravs is a right fine knot tie-er too. " she looked toward Cravs.

Riylli raised her hand. "I could probably incapacitate it with my magic pretty easy, depending on how strong the thing is. Would give me something to do too..." She said with an overexaggerated sigh

Haila Wetyios: "As long as it gets the job done, I have no quarry with it. Breaking the legs should do the job, but if all else fails, I'll take a broken spider."

"Ah, are you not joining us, mortal? A shame, your apparent experience with these spiders would be quite the help." Evelyn said, turning her gaze to Haila.

Haila Wetyios shook her head. "As much as I wish I could, I have my reasons for not going... 'Tis been by mere coincidence that the spiders didn't pick up on me the other times. But I can't risk a third one. At least not if I want a few plans of my own to work."

N'yami Synch: "So who's ready to go catch us a spider!? That's a dumb question no one really is but hells we need the bloody thing so let's go punch it in the legs."

N'ana Firesong gave a small sigh. "Why spiders" she mumbled.

Cravendy glances back at Rising. “Can’t say I’ve ever kidnapped a spider, but there’s a first for everythin’. But the idea would be the same. Lure it away to some lonely corner, away from pryin’ eyes, and tie it up afore it knows what got ‘im. Or beat it till it’s broken.”

Riylli gave a concerned look to the pirate Roe, unsure if she was joking or not

Rising Lotus: "Well lets play it by ear then. If we have a chance to bind it lets do that, if not we'll smash it's legs off, and as a last case option we'll kill it all together."

Evelyn stands up and strikes a pose with her staff. "Let our operation commence. The Goddess of Victory is on our side, so long as we err on the side of caution. Now, let us show these spiders true despair..." She held her bandaged right arm up to her left eye again, folding her left one across her body. She let out an enthusiastic "Fwahahaha!" and shook her head afterward.

Aislinn nodded and rose to her feet. "Seems like we have a plan in place." Roughly, but it was still a plan. "I'll go grab my bloody coat." she shook her head and retreated briefly back to her quarters.

After the group made the walk through Coerthas back to the area where they knew the spiders would appear, with some grumbling cause of the cold of course, N'yami lead them through the snowy terrain. Stopping in her tracks the Seeker looked around with perked ears. "Where exactly were you all ambushed before? Perhaps that will be the best spot to look for one."

Riylli kicked at the ground below, trying to keep her shivering to a minimum. "...Hate this stupid place... Grounds all frozen... Terrible to work with..." She muttered to herself as the rest of the group did their thing

N'ana: "Aye hope we finish up quickly. As much as aye enjoy mountain trips in Othard this cold is a different story."

Aislinn looked to Rising and Cravendy to answer that question. She hadn't yet ventured out to meet these spiders head on. For obvious reasons. Heartwood still needed at least a semblance of a medical staff until they could get G'lewra and Vanriri back.

Rising Lotus huffed as they exited the cave, rubbing her hands together as she was a tad underdressed. "I think it was a bit more down there, near the bridge right?" she glanced at Cravs, keeping her body moving to build up some heat. It then dawned on her the Cravs was kind of not there at the time, but maybe she knew somehow?

Evelyn shivered quietly, holding Whackara in her arms. "F-Fufufu... this cold is n-nothing... you m-mortals always complain about the silliest things..." she posed again in her usual fashion.

Cravendy feels her gut sink as she remembers a time when...it was before she woke up, and yet. She groans, but answers to the best of her ability. “Yeah, I remember it was by that hill, and we crossed a bridge at some point. Over there?” Cravs points down south.

N'yami Synch: "Works for me." She offered a shrug and just started walking down the path, they'd eventually run into the blasted thing right? That's how it usually worked from what she heard. "Time to give this damsel-in-distress thing a try I suppose."

"I-If these things go after magic users, how 'bout we just start channelling and wait for it to show up?" Riylli offered, getting sick of standing in one place freezing her tail off

Cravendy lightly elbows Evelyn as she passes her. “Phoenix-lass, right? Ye think ye can ‘eat up the poor sods who’re freezin’ their arses off?”

Rising Lotus looks at the river over the hill. "This is lookin' familiar, bridge ain't too far from here." she pointed across it. "They all came from the other side of it, and we fell back to the bridge." she pointed to the left down the path.

Aislinn heard Cravendy and looked over her shoulder. "I'm good. No need to light me up or anything."

Evelyn Blazewing 's eyes open wide. "Sh-Share my warmth? With... e-everyone? F-Fwahaha, I certainly would if it were possible. Touching a mere mortal with my body temperature s-so high would incinerate them to mere ashes!" she quietly mumbled to herself. "B-Besides, I'm kinda using it right now..."

Cravendy nods to Rising’s statement. “Some of ‘em were underneath the snow too, so watch where ye step.”

Aislinn took a few steps back at that. "Great." she muttered as she peered down at the frozen ground around them.

N'ana Firesong: "Ye seem ye can mix a drink right now, Phoenix."

Evelyn: "I would be happy to mix you a drink were now a good time, mortal. Ask when we return home and I shall happily oblige."

N'yami looked around for a moment as they paused. "We'll stick around somewhere safe so the rest of ya have a place to hide while I drag the damn thing out." The Seeker pointed over at the boulder sticking out of the ground. "Go hide over there while I call it out. Rising, and Cravs, get ready to launch yerself at it once it comes out."

Rising Lotus: "Aye, pulled...uh.. someone off one before it got her, then it called it's friends." she tapped her boots on the ground to shake some snow out of her sandals.

Cravendy: “Aye. Come on Rising, we got a boulder to snoop behind.” She starts to walk over.

Heartwood runs into another RP FC also RPing (Riylli Aliapoh) (feels like two rival gangs are passing) (Aislinn North) ((Throwdown)) (Haila Wetyios) Oh snap)) (Rising Lotus) We have to intimidate them, everyone make yourselfs big)) (Cravendy Hound) OH?? )) (N'yami Synch) PUFF OUT)) (N'yami Synch) I think we win)) (Cravendy Hound) omg haha )) (Riylli Aliapoh) (as big as you can get) (N'yami Synch) Lol one of them is a friend of my so I whispered yelled at him to get out of my swamp xD))

Rising Lotus nodded, pumping herself up before tailing behind Cravs, drawing her spear on the way.

"I can help too y'know..." Riylli muttered as she stomped off to hide behind the boulder

Aislinn murmured to N'yami as she gestured to the device on the miqo'te's wrist. "If your plan is to take that off to lure a spider, I'd suggest snapping it right back on the moment you get one on your trail. As it is we're going to have a hell of a time shutting it up before it calls any others." she nodded. "Watch yourself, aye?"

Cravendy ducks behind the boulder and peeks out, as sneakily as she can manage. But she’s half-distracted by Rising, who to her...does not look dressed for success, in this weather. “Nophica’s teats, ye askin’ to catch a cold again?!” She harshly whispers.

N'yami Synch: "Cravs and Rising, pull Riylli with ya when the thing comes out, the faster we bring the thing down the better." The Seeker looked over to Aislinn and offered a short nod. "I can defend myself pretty well, if you know someone else needs it more I'll be fine without it."

Riylli's ears perked up, her pouting interrupted. "Wait, me? I mean, yeah! The grounds a bit frozen, but I'm sure it'll be fine" She finished with a confident nod, back to her usual self

Rising Lotus was peeking around the other side of the rock, spearing humming away as they waited. "I'll be fine, been through here lots of times dressed like this. Build's character." she shivered a bit as she said the last part. " 'sides fightin' will keep me plenty warm."

Aislinn shook her head and snorted. "I'm not playing the lottery like that. You're going after the spider, you take it. I'm just saying." she turned and went to stand with the others.

Riylli kicks a bit off snow onto Rising's exposed toes. "Builds hypothermia is what it does. How are you gonna fight when you're frozen to the ground?"

Cravendy: “Might be awhile ‘fore we’re fightin’.” Cravs looks back at N’yami and watches the miqo’te like a hawk. Her breath coming out in chilly plumes, she mumbles something under her breath. “Feh, character...Personally, I’m done buildin’ anymore of that.”

N'ana Firesong keeps a watchful eye over her surroundings.

N'yami unhooked the device from her arm for a moment, and that's when the rest of the group would feel a surge of aether crash over them. The group would feel a wide range of emotions hit them, the strongest one they felt would send a warmth through their cold bodies. Raising her hand in the air the Seeker summoned a ball of aether and shot it off in the air, one after the other like a show of fireworks and each one burst in the sky. Red aether mixed into the white winds that were carried off to call upon the creature they were looking for and with how much the Seeker was giving off did the group hear an echoing screech off in the distance. Those who had met the creatures would know the sound all too well, it was coming.

N'ana Firesong knelt over, feeling the warmth take over her body and shivered. "Thralls balls!"

Rising Lotus shot Riylli a glare, flinging the snow off her foot, about to retaliate before N'yami started and she focused up, tightening her grip on her spear. She grit her teeth as they had garnered hopefully only one's attention.

Evelyn recoils a bit, reeling from the emotional surge she just felt. She then turns her attention to the sky, and back to N'yami. "An excellent show, mortal, but will it do the tri-" She's cut off by the screeching, which causes her to smirk. "Fufufu... it seems your ploy worked. Everyone, ready yourselves. Our enemy will be upon us soon." She mumbled to herself again. "I-I think... that's our enemy..."

Aislinn stumbled back as the aetheric emotions hit her, the warmth flowing into her body triggering a sense of alarm. No. Not now. But it soon passes as she realized it was only N'yami and not herself. She breathed and tried to shake off the feeling. "That'll get them if nothing else." she said low, her voice wavering slightly.

Riylli glances over to Evelyn. "Hey, crazy lady, how hot can that fire of yours get? Y'think you can thaw the earth a bit for me when we jump out?"

Cravendy grunts as she weathers the wave of aether, sets her jaw as foreign emotions flow through. When it passes, she finally takes a gasp of air. Without knowing it, Cravs had been holding her breath. But she could not breathe easy, not yet. They were coming.

Evelyn glares at Riylli. "I am not crazy, mortal. My flames are the hottest in the realm. I would be more than happy to assist you, however." She sighed.  "So, my talents shall simply be used to thaw the earth? Fine, fine... I came here to offer my assistance, after all."

The sound of heavy footsteps could be heard as the beast came crashing through the snowy plains, this one was the perfect size to carry someone off and with how much aether it detected it seemed determined to catch whatever was creating it. At the last possible second N'yami slapped the device onto her wrist again to dampen her aether, and that's when the Crawler stopped in front of her. The familiar whirring noise was heard as it scanned the Seeker for the aether source.

Aislinn North From her hiding place behind the boulder, Aislinn tensely watched, her breath trapped in her lungs. She sincerely hoped her device wouldn't fail now, of all times.

Cravendy‘s eyes widen at the sight of the machine, but any hesitation is quickly pushed down. Cravs shuffles over the boulder and charges at her target, hoping to knock it off balance with a low blow to one of its many legs.

Rising Lotus "Great, a big one..." she hopped out from her hiding place and charged forward, taking a great big swipe at it's front left leg as she got in range.

Riylli Aliapoh hopped up onto the rock, shouting out to Evelyn. "Time to shine, crazy phoenix lady! Help me get the earth under it's legs!" She commanded, and began to swirl aether around her as she commanded the earth to reach out and swallow up the spiders legs, though as she suspected the ice made it difficult to manage. However, with Evelyn's help…

N'ana Firesong: "Take out it's eye!"

Evelyn sighs and smiles, bringing her rod close to her. "Fufufu... behold mortals, the purest of flames, the hottest of cinders! This is a gift from Lord Blazewing himself! To ash do we fall, and from ash do we rise... now!" *she launches a small fireball, which then explodes into a larger flame that consumes the ground around the spider. "Hell's Maw!"

Aislinn reached into her coat, white-knuckles wrapping around the grip of her pistol as the others charged. She wouldn't use her aether but she would shoot if things began to take a dire turn. For now, she watched and waited, fighting the frustration that rose in her.

Despite the several attacks aimed at the spider, it seemed as only a selected few even had an effect on it. Riylli's rocks for once, managed to at least ground it on the spot. It's metal legs though, were stronger than the ones that they'd faced before, that much was clear from the fact that it's hindleg barely took any damage from Rising's attack. The edges of it's fleshy limbs suffering very slight charring as it detected the aether sources around it. The fire spell becoming it's first target as it had been the biggest display of aether out of all of them, with the earth rocks being a close second.

Aislinn North can see where this is going and cursed harshly under her breath. The weapon was already assessing and zeroing in on those who had created a display of aether. "Get ready to scatter." she warned.

Finishing it's scans of it's primary targets as well as potential threats, the mechanical spider made several whirring sounds, had it been a smaller one, it would have surely attempted to call for backups already. This one though, was big enough to attempt it's own attacks. Lifting the few legs that weren't trapped in stone, it attempted to free it's other legs as it hurled rocks around at the closest people within it's range whilst smaller spiders dropped off the big one, rushing at the people in the back.

N'yami watched as the crowd charged at the Crawler and watched the chaos start to form, the Seeker waited for the right time to interfere and if needed she would join the battle. Her ruby gaze kept flicking down to the device on her wrist, debating to take it off to act as bait again, that's why she was here right?

Riylli pumped more aether into her spell, refusing to allow the spider freedom so long as she could help it. "Gonna need you guys to keep those things off me! Can't exactly multitask right now!" She called to whoever might be able to help

Ready for it, Aislinn dashed out from behind the boulder as the smaller spiders charged toward them. She fired off a few shots as she went, hoping to pick a couple off before they swarmed the others.

Rising Lotus managed to dodge the stones that were throw at her, grunting and gripping her spear tightly. With a mighty shout she jabbed the tip of her spear right between where the leg meets the body, twisting and pushing open a gap towars the now exposed and vulnerable shoulder mechanics! If someone could aim several shots in there it would sure do a lot of damage!

Cravendy Hound: “Umf! Shit, thing’s built like a brick ‘ouse!” Why did she think that tackling a thing made of solid metal was a good idea to begin with? Now her shoulder felt all kinds of wrong. She rolls to dodge the flurry of rocks and, out of the corner of her eye, she sees the smaller spiders rush at the party’s backline. A bitter cocktail of anger and anxiety sets her heart alight. Not on her watch!

Cravendy grins when Rising serves her an opening on a silver platter. “Thank ye, flower. Now!” She whips her gun out and sends a flurry of shots aimed directly at the exposed circuitry.

N'ana stabbed at the smaller spiders around her. slashing and kicking the ones too close to her.

Evelyn targets the small spiders approaching her, readying another area fire spell. Without giving a small speech this time, she simply readies and casts another area fire spell, hoping to get rid of the smaller spiders coming after her. After launching her attack, she mutters "Calamity Blaze." and strikes a pose.

Relatively assured that she hadn't made herself a target for the smaller spiders, Aislinn continued to fire off shots to drop the bastards before they could reach the ones casting aether about with abandon, pausing only for the scant seconds it took her to reload. Her precision as a sharpshooter on display, she rarely seemed to miss her marks.

Riylli grit her teeth, trying to hold on as the spider did everything it could to free itself from it's bindings. "I ain't gonna be able to hold much longer! Do whatever it is you gotta do, and do it fast!" She called out to the front lines, swearing under her breath. "'Take it alive' huh? Easy to say when you aren't the one holding the damned thing..." She mutters angrily, before pumping another dose of aether into the earthen shackles

Rising Lotus grinned as Cravs fired several shots into the hole she made, twisting her body around to try and spear the other front leg, aiming for the first joint from it's body and thrusting hard, hopefully she'd continued to have good results aiming for those points compared to hacking and slashing

Cravendy feels that telltale burn of combat. Of blood boiling, of time slowing. Given her proximity to the large machine, Cravs decides to try to grab hold of another leg and directly press the end of her gun at its joint. Squeeze, and fire.

The onslaught of attacks took it's toll, for a moment it seemed that the large spider had underestimated it's targets. Such was the issue of programming it's priorities. The leg that Rising and Cravs had worked together to damage caused several circuits to go haywire. The spider had to pause for a moment as the rest of it's legs too, started taking damage from the shots, the spears and the rocks keeping it grounded all causing damage beyond acceptable parameters, the creature attempted to step back to no avail, it's smaller spiders being taken one after the other with the group work from everyone attacking it. Upon finishing it's damage calculations, it buckled down, almost compacting part of it's body for a moment as it emitted a deafening sound alongside static that was nearly palpable in the air. It wouldn't damage it's opponents as much as it would deafen them briefly, but it was for sure calling for nearby backups.

Riylli just kept channeling really. Nothing to see here. She wasn't getting tired or anything. It's fine. All fine.

Cravendy recoils at the explosive sound blaring right next to her ears. She searches for the source of the sound but can’t quite focus with this ringing in her head, so instead she opts to continue her assault. Cravs aims her gun at the spider’s chassis and fires several times. If it’s broken, the racket’ll stop, right?

N'ana shook her head feeling a bit dizzy and off balance from the noise. She put the sword inside its holdster and then drew it with a blinding light of power on one of the spiders back legs.

Aislinn staggered to the side and clapped a free hand over one ear as the blaring beacon went off. Damn it all. That thing simply needed to -die-. Gritting her teeth against the painful noise, she did her best to keep watch on the casters, and pick off any of the smaller spiders that still remained. "Someone shut it up, fast!" her words barely heard over the blaring siren.

Rising Lotus braced herself as the screech blared, bracing herself while she gazed over the ugly thing. Things usually make sound from their mouths, so she thrusted right under it's glowing eye, hoping that was where it would be? If it had one?

N'yami Synch placed her hands over her ears as the creature called out for help. Why did it need to be so loud? "Take it down now! We need to get out of here fast before the backup arrives!"

Riylli Aliapoh huffed, feeling neglected out there in the backlines, watching everyone else do cool stuff. She was not one to enjoy taking the support role, and suddenly a very stupid idea dawned on her. She grinned, "Alright, time to end this!" She called out, suddenly thrusting her arms out to the sides and pumping in every last bit of her aether, the earthen shackles that had been binding the creatures legs suddenly flying out in opposite directions, ripping the spiders legs out with them

Evelyn Blazewing covered her ears and crouched down in recoil from the harsh noise the spider emitted. "I-It's worse than the wails of the damned... shut up!" She stood up, braced herself, and fired a ball of flame at the mechanical arachnid, yelling out "Flames of Ifrit!" as she did.

Cravendy Hound brings her arms up in time to guard herself against a shower of earth and ice. “By the godsdamned Navigator! Warn me next time ye use yer magic!” But, seeing as the spider was now rendered legless by Riylli’s efforts, it seemed a good opportunity to grab and go. Cravs stumbles to the other end of the machine and tries to lift it. They had to get this thing, and themselves, out of here fast.

While incredibly risky and stupid, Riylli's idea worked, the sudden pull from the rocks alongside it's already damaged legs nearly ripped all of them off on the spot. Only one leg remaining, which was the one N'ana kept attacking as the blasted thing started to squirm as much as it could. Several smaller spiders dropped off it's insides, clearly confused as the signal it was sending out to them was not going off well thanks to the damage caused by Rising and Crav's shots.

N'yami bolted towards the giant spider and went to lift it with Cravs. "Let's go go go." The carbuncle grew in size to be big enough to ride and trotted up to Riylli incase she needed to be carried home. "Those who can lift get over here."

The large spider was rendered defenseless, and most of all, it was half intact.

Riylli fell to her knees, aether spent and body exhausted. She grit her teeth and picked herself back up, using her staff to keep her balance as she didn't want people seeing how wiped out she was. "What else could 'time to end this' mean!?" Riylli shot back to Cravs, before carefully trying to crawl her way off the boulder she was dramatically perched on. Maybe exhausting herself right before it was time to run... was not the best plan

Rising pulled her spear back just in time to watch Riylli pull it's legs off like a child would do to a bug, and probably Riylli to a bug too honestly. Quickly returning her spear to her back, she made her way to the front, squatting down and preparing to lift it with the others.

As the limbs come off the spider in a mighty pull of earth, Aislinn wasted no time rushing towards the downed bioweapon, taking out the small spiders that wandered around in confusion. "Alright. N'yami's right. Let's take it and run." she holstered her weapon and made ready to lift along with the others.

Evelyn applauded Riylli's display, a proud smile on her face. "Excellent, truly excellent work, mortal. Your prowess with the earth is quite remarkable..."

Cravendy grumbles something under her breath about being more specific, that “time to end this” should clearly state -how- as well. But it was all bullshit and Cravs knew it - couldn’t expect people to say all that in the heat of the battle. Didn’t stop her from complaining the whole way back though.

Riylli gave a tired grin, always ready to accept some praise. "Best geomancer in eorzea, you can bet on it! You were a big help with that fire though. Couldn't have done it without ya." She said with a nod, before noticing the large carbuncle seemingly waiting for her to pass out. "Oh, hey... you. You offering a ride?" She asked, giving a shrug as she hopped on and did her best not to look so relieved.

As Heartwood managed to take the giant Crawler back, hopefully Haila was fine with the size of it, the group successfully completed their mission and even managed to escape the backup before they showed up but now the real question. How are they going to get it through the door?

[damienthepious]

time 2 be emotionally fraught baybeeeeee happy LKT!

Going Through Changes, Ripping Out Pages (chapter 10)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ch 4] [ch 5] [ch 6] [ch 7] [ch 8] [ch 9] [ao3] [???]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, (uhhhhh sorta), Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, (WE WILL GET THERE…… EVENTUALLY)

Summary: Lord Arum wakes to discover that some things have changed while he slept. Namely, there is a human in his bed.

Chapter Summary: Damien tests his theory.

Chapter Notes: inconsistent chapter length be damned!!! i do what i want! [kicks desk] anyway happy LKT, i love youu

~

They make poor progress with their research, that morning. Arum is-

He is clearly acting grumpier than he feels, a defensive layer of prickliness that Rilla really isn't surprised by, but she suspects that the lizard slept far less than he implied, too. He looks shadowed and tense in a way that reminds her distinctly and unpleasantly of how he looked the first time she stayed here in the Keep, and she doesn't think that's just because that's basically the mindset that he's in. She knows how his tail coils when he's far too tired, by now.

A lot of the problem with their research is that monsters seem to keep their methods of creating curses pretty damn close to the chest, and Arum himself isn't really in the business. His creations have always been a lot more physical. "Practical," in his words, though Rilla quietly disagrees that a decent chunk of his nonsense projects are practical.

Arum knows a few ways to get rid of hexes and jinxes- ritual words, ceremonies of cleansing, magic potions, the sorts of things that usually frustrate Rilla out of her mind with their inconsistency. Rilla's frustration doesn't much matter, though, because Arum is convinced that none of the above would be effective against a curse like this anyway. A magical-herb-infused bath might knock out some minor blight, but this? It's too deep.

... They do test a few smaller ideas anyway, if only to see if they might weaken whatever it is that's locking Arum's memories away (none of them say, out loud, the possibility that the memories are gone, not just inaccessible), but after each minor test Arum only sags further and shakes his head.

By midday they're all... disheartened, to use a Damien word. Arum more than her and Damien, if Rilla's read is correct. Again- it really doesn't help that he's so obviously exhausted. Damien meets Rilla's eyes over the small lunch the Keep brings for them (it's been picking out meals that it knows are each of their favorites, Rilla is sure that it's deliberate- she thinks she oughta take an aside with the Keep later today, thank it a bit more directly, check in to make sure it's doing alright, considering-), and Rilla knows he's thinking of their conversation this morning. Rilla still isn't enthusiastic about the idea, it seems dangerous, for a number of reasons, but-

Arum pulled Damien back to them with a duel, didn't he?

And, frankly, it's not like Rilla has any better ideas. None that don't involve a near-impossible infiltration and- well. Murder, theoretically.

She catches Damien's eye again as they clean up their bowls, and she gives him a nod, and as much of a smile as she can manage.

Damien nods in return, his expression nervous but steady, and then he takes a deep breath.

"I may have an idea," Damien says, and Rilla's heart thuds at the way Arum's face flashes with hope before he buries it in a frown. "Would you mind," he continues, "if we were to retreat to the greenhouse, to discuss it?"

Arum's frown deepens, clearly unhappy not to just out with it right now, but he turns and gestures with a hand for the Keep to open the way.

~

"A duel," Arum drawls, and the little knight does a poor job of hiding the way Arum's tone makes him wince. Or, perhaps he did not intend to hide it at all. "So you wish to do precisely what the Senate wanted us to, then?"

"By no means," the knight says, jerking his head sharply. "It may be a foolish idea-"

"The reasoning is sound," Amaryllis interrupts, firm, and the knight glances towards her with a grateful smile.

"Well- I hope so. I thought, perhaps- we duel often, you see, to keep our skills sharp, to settle inconsequential matters, to-" he cuts himself off, his cheeks darkening, and then he shakes his head. "So- so I thought, perhaps, that if we cannot strike upon a magical means of weakening this affliction, then maybe there could be a more physical method. If your body remembers- remembers warmth enough to trouble your sleep when you are lacking, then... perhaps your body may remember the strain of our physical activities together as well."

Arum frowns, both grateful and furious with the poet for avoiding the mention of what precise heat his body remembers. It is embarrassing in the extreme, of course, but it is almost more embarrassing that Damien seems to know to avoid specificity in the matter. "So you believe that we may... knock some sense into me, as it were."

Amaryllis chokes a laugh, which is oddly gratifying. Damien, for his part, looks mournful again, wide-eyed and worried.

"I have no desire to hurt you," he insists.

"And yet you wish to fight."

"To duel," Damien says. "To spar, if that phrasing is more... acceptable."

"We do this often?" Arum says, doing nothing to hide his skepticism, and then he eyes Damien, unarmed as he is. Arum, on the other hand, is armed. Excepting his time in their room the night before, his knives have been carefully strapped to his person since the Keep allowed Damien to leave, the first morning they woke together. He... believes that they are earnest, now, yes, but he is not so foolish as to leave himself without defense.

"Like, kind of annoyingly often," Amaryllis says, leaning against a thick tree trunk and crossing her arms over her chest, and the poet's lips press together in something of a pout. "I don't really get it, but yeah."

"It-" Damien furrows his brow, and then he sighs. "If you think the idea ridiculous, or if- if you do not trust that I will not hurt you- if you do not agree, Arum, then obviously we will not try it. We can find another thread to pull, for the afternoon. I only thought-"

"I am unconcerned that you will harm me, little poet," Arum says, halfway to a snarl, and Damien stills, his lips pressing together in an expression that Arum cannot quite read. "And I do think the idea is ridiculous. However..." he growls, looking away for a moment. However. The story they and the Keep have told him piecemeal over the last day-and-half still spins uncertainly in Arum's mind, the idea that he and this slight, soft-eyed little human have clashed steel before and matched evenly-

Arum still cannot quite accept it. He believes them, trusts the pain in their eyes if nothing else, but the idea that he would have lost to so gentle a creature- it simply does not make sense. A duel, a contest of skill, now- Arum cannot say if he is at all convinced it may do anything to loosen the grip of this curse, but nevertheless Arum is tempted. If only, he thinks, for the chance to prove himself.

"However?" Sir Damien echoes, softly, and Arum snaps back to himself.

"If the both of you think it may have a chance..." he shrugs, feigning nonchalance. "It is worth exploring, I suppose."

"Again," Amaryllis says, lifting a pointed hand, "it makes sense, but I don't think we should-"

"Get our hopes up," Arum finishes. "Obviously."

Amaryllis' lip curls up, not quite a smile, and then she shoots a look towards Damien. "Be careful, remember," she says sternly, and the poet presses a hand over his heart.

"I swear," he says. "Always."

The look on Amaryllis' face at that leads Arum to suspect that the poet is not, in fact, always careful. Arum frowns.

"How shall we begin, then? I imagine you suggested that we come to the greenhouse because it will give us ample space, correct?"

"Yes." Damien gives a small sort of smile. "The game is to try to pin each other. Despite Rilla's- frequent suggestions, we have... not yet transitioned to sparring with practice weaponry. Bladed combat is your preferred, and I am rather flexible, so typically we duel with knives." He pauses. "Yours, if you would be willing to allow me the use of one. Otherwise- well, I could ask the Keep to allow me to step into Rilla's hut for a moment to retrieve-"

"We may as well do this properly," Arum says, shrugging, and then he draws one of his knives and, on a strange sort of whim, whips it out to sink into the bark of the tree beside Damien's head. The knight does not flinch, surprisingly, though he does blink as the Keep warbles a chastising note. "Oh be quiet," Arum mutters. "The bark is thick, it will be fine."

Damien turns, carefully pulling the blade back out, his fingers curling around the hilt with a reverent sort of delicacy.

Arum unstraps one set of hilts, hanging them from another tree nearby, then draws his remaining blade, holding it unthreateningly at his side as he spares a look towards Amaryllis.

"Your priorities fascinate me, just so you are aware," he mutters. "Though you did not deign to ask, I will assure you as well that I will exercise caution. I will not cause the poet any undue harm."

Amaryllis presses her lips together, nearly smiling. "Appreciate that," she says after a moment, her tone very strange, and then she shoots Damien a look.

The poet shakes his head. "Keep, if you would?"

Arum blinks, but the Keep sings a note of acknowledgment and shutters the skylights slightly, dimming the greenhouse to a more muted palette.

"So no one may claim that the sun were in his eyes," Damien explains with a wry smile, and Arum wonders briefly which of them that particular amendment were made in deference to. "Is there anything else you need? A moment to collect yourself, or-"

"I am fully prepared to best you," Arum snaps, unsettled by the gentle concern in the poet's voice. "Are you ready?"

The poet inhales very slowly, exhales tranquility, my Saint in a breath, and then his lips tilt into a crooked smile.

"I am," he says.

"You are remarkably amenable to the situation," Arum says slowly, stalking closer, "considering that I did, in fact, nearly kill you yesterday morning. I feel I should give you another guarantee, for the sake of your comfort. I will not hurt you beyond what is necessary to beat you. You need not fear for your life."

"You sound so utterly certain," Damien says, a grin flashing across his face despite the pain in his eyes. "So confident that you will be the one of us who needs show mercy."

"I've never lost, little poet," Arum growls, stiff, and Damien glances for half a moment towards Rilla, and then he laughs.

"Ah, I am terribly sorry to disabuse you of that notion," he says, and Arum's scales prickle at the indulgent tone in his voice, "but that is no longer quite true, I should say."

Arum pauses, stewing in that assertion for a moment before he retorts. "He may have," he rumbles, attempting to smooth over his discomfort with cool, patient anger. "I have not."

"Hm," Damien says. "Yes, not to your memory, I suppose. I am sorry as well that we shall be so unevenly matched in this endeavor, friend monster."

"I will not tie two hands behind my back if you think that will make us more even, littl-"

"Oh," Damien laughs, "no, rather the opposite, in fact. It might be rather more fair if we gave you all the rest of your knives to match my one, I think, but I imagine that may injure your pride rather more than you would allow."

Arum pulls his head back, his lip curling over his teeth in a shocked sort of fury. "What?"

"I've a rather distinct advantage, I'm afraid."

Arum's eyes scrape down Damien's body, his lithe frame, his loose, unprepared stance, the knife held so casually in one delicate hand, and then raise up again to his smug smile. Arrogant thing, he thinks, hissing disdainfully. In need of a lesson. Arum should end this foolish little duel before it begins.

Arum darts forward, faster than a human should be able to see, but-

But Damien moves, a breath before Arum does, backstepping around Arum's lunge without even raising his knife.

"Ah," he says calmly as Arum exhales in shock. "So, we have begun, then? Very well, Lord Arum."

In the heartbeat it takes for Arum to regain his senses, the knight shifts his stance and raises his arm, scraping the length of his blade along Arum's own in a fluid motion, and as Arum flinches back Damien takes a calmer step away and assumes a stance-

A stance that tickles familiar in the back of Arum's mind.

A distraction, whether intentional or not, and Arum raises his blade again just in time to block Damien's first quick, testing strike. Arum growls instinctively, and the knight's mouth curves into a small, strange smile as he swings his knife again, an elegant practiced arc, and Arum blocks, catching the blades together.

"I've had quite a bit of practice," Damien says evenly, over the light scraping of metal on metal, "dueling with you, friend lizard." He angles his body, moving his wrist in such a way that he uses their clashing blades to draw Arum's face closer to his own, a molten heat in his eyes that Arum cannot seem to look away from. "Perhaps I should go easy on you, let you warm up a little."

Damien disengages, spinning as he steps away again, his footwork light as the wind, and it is not until he is no longer so close, until he is no longer invading Arum's space with his heat and his musical voice, it is not until he is out of reach that Arum realizes what the poet actually said. He snarls, sputtering as he brandishes his knife between them.

"Go easy on me? Arrogant- absurd, I do not need such practice to simply skewer such a foolish creature-"

"Go on and prove it, then," Damien says, his voice warm and unbothered.

Arum snarls again, crouching lower and watching the human step carefully, edging in an arc around Arum, and then Arum spins, whipping with his tail-

Sir Damien jumps over the tail with ample time, and he does not pause in the descent, swinging his arm down, the blade flashing, and Arum barely deflects the blow, and he needs to roll away to avoid Damien's next two quick strikes.

"Ah, yes," Damien grins wide as he continues to flash his wrist out, relentless as Arum blocks and parries and skips back, trying to get out of range. "It took some time to learn to anticipate that one, I will admit. You've certainly put me on my back more than once with that trick- though you've since needed to find means a bit more clever-"

"Must you-" Arum hisses, ducking, spinning, this little knight is quick, not as fast as Arum in technicality but with each movement Arum makes, Damien aims a blow towards whatever new opening Arum makes. "Must you chatter so, even-" another gasp, and then Arum leaps aside, putting enough space between Sir Damien and himself that he can catch his breath, can manage a sneer. "Not even in this do you cease prattling?"

"If I have breath enough to speak," Damien says, twirling Arum's knife absently between his fingers, "why should I not? I'm quite enjoying my time."

The knight's cheeks are flushed, just barely dark, but his aforementioned breath is even and easy and Arum hisses to hide his own gasping. "Are you?" Arum growls, and something in his stomach twists at Damien's warm smile.

"I always do," he says with a shrug, and then he darts forward, his next set of strikes less swift, but more forceful, more precise. "The exhilaration, the adrenaline of combat, but with the assurance of safety, the knowledge that it will end in laughter, rather than blood- oh, yes, I always take a rather great deal of pleasure in our time together, Lord Arum."

Arum tries to focus on his movements, on holding his ground enough that Damien cannot begin to crowd him backwards again. His words are- distracting, however.

"Is this- your tactic, then? Chattering away, sapping focus-"

"If you cannot focus on your blade and my words at the same time, Lord Arum-"

Arum swings his knife out viciously at that, and Damien grins hard as he spins out of the way. "Ah, there you are-"

His words are distracting- Arum steps back, steps back again, knows that he is losing ground. Damien lashes out, a strike Arum realizes he will not be able to counter, and the lizard throws himself backwards instead, unaware enough of his surroundings that he does not notice the tree behind him until his shoulder collides with it painfully.

"Ah-"

"Oh," Damien pauses, his eyes widening in concern, "oh- are you alright? I didn't mean-"

"Don't patronize me," Arum snaps, ignoring the bruising sting and darting forward. He swings his arm, their blades ringing against each other once, twice, and then on the third blow Damien pushes back enough that they are pressed close, their metal meeting between them with the edges of their blades scraping in a discordant song.

Damien twists his blade oddly against Arum's own, catching the hilts together and wrenching Arum's wrist at an odd enough angle that the lizard needs to lean his body forward to avoid dropping the hilt in pain.

Damien is too close, suddenly, pressing forward at the same time that Arum does, and then he maneuvers his leg just as Arum tries to step away, hooking his ankle behind Arum's and simply allowing Arum's own attempted movement to unsteady him, making his tail swing in a wild arc as he raises his arms to attempt to rebalance, but then-

Damien places his free hand, palm open, directly over Arum's heart, and pushes.

Arum's back hits the dirt before he fully knows what happened, breath escaping in a rush and his knife flying aside with a dull bouncing thud against the ground, and then Damien drops over him, knees on either side of his waist, pinning his lower arms against him as the knight presses his free arm over Arum's sternum like the trunk of a tree, holding him down.

Arum can hardly breathe, not from the pressure but from the surprise, from the rush, from the heat of Sir Damien crowding so exquisitely close, and the knight's eyes are bright and focused and intense. Then, Sir Damien raises his other hand.

The one with which he holds Lord Arum's knife.

Damien swings the blade down, and Arum remembers with self-loathing viciousness the burnt letter from the Senate, remembers the hateful whispery certainty of the hand which wrote the human infection will destroy you-

Arum closes his eyes.

He feels the rush of air on the scales of his face, hears a dull thunk, but-

No pain. No bloom of heat, no pulse of awareness of the blade plunging into his shoulder, his chest, his neck, and his eyes flutter back open in confusion to see how in the name of the Universe the human managed to miss-

The knife is planted in the dirt beside Arum's head; he can see the reflection of his own wide eye in the sheen of the blade. Damien is much closer now- necessary, of course, considering his grip on the hilt, but- but Arum can feel the way his chest moves with his panting breaths, can taste the adrenaline and sweat on the air, can hear Damien's heart, pounding steady, a sturdier beat than the frantic race of his own. The poet stares down at him, his eyes hot and hypnotic, and whatever biting comment Arum intended to make about Damien's aim dies on his tongue before he manages to open his mouth.

"Well, well," the poet says, and his voice is a low, sonorous, strange drawl as he leans heavy over Arum, one hand planted palm-flat to the dirt next to his face, the other (the hand that planted the knife on the other side) trailing up his shoulder, towards his neck. "It looks like the smallest trap is the one you finally fell for."

"I-" Arum blinks. "What?"

"And now," Damien continues, his sharp eyes flicking between Arum's own, "here you are, pinned beneath my claws..."

Damien's hand trails up his neck, his expression far more focused, now, than it had been during the fight, and then he grips Arum's throat, firm and possessive but not hard, not impeding his breath, and Arum- Arum's heart rushes prey-quick even as he understands what Damien is doing.

The words- the nonsense words, not nonsense at all- they must be what Arum himself had said, during one of their duels. Coming from this fierce, surprisingly skillful little creature, they make Arum feel flushed with heat that seems to pulse out from every single inch of his body where Damien touches him.

"A-ah," Arum manages, but not much besides. He cannot even convince himself to struggle against Damien's weight, Damien's hands.

Damien's expression shifts when he realizes that Arum has caught on. He leans closer, his grip on Arum's throat pressing gently to tilt his head to the side, letting him lean closer to murmur in Arum's ear.

"I love to make you panic," he breathes, and Arum flexes all his claws at once. "The sound of your pounding heart makes my stomach growl."

Arum-

Laughs. He cannot quite help himself, despite the fact that his heart is, in fact, pounding, and Damien blinks in surprise.

"Did I- did I really- I said that to you?" he manages, still feeling too hot, too crowded. Sir Damien is... very close.

The poet manages something like a smile, then, though he does not look happy. Arum imagines that he had been hoping... well, hoping that his words would trigger what the physicality of their duel did not. "You did," he says quietly, and his grip on Arum's neck softens, his thumb brushing along Arum's jaw in a way that makes his scales tingle with electricity. "Before you decided not to kill me."

Arum... is not quite certain, about that. Arum knows himself- likes to think he knows himself, at the very least, knows the layers of his lies, and if Damien's words are truly an echo of Arum's in the past, then Arum does not think he could have more obviously begged the knight to acknowledge him, to banter back, if he had outright said so. Could not have said that he preferred Damien alive more blatantly if he had presented his own neck for the blade instead. Perhaps he had not admitted it even to himself, yet, but-

"Ridiculous," he mutters, low and less biting than he would prefer.

Damien leans back, just slightly, his tawny eyes flicking between Arum's own, and his expression softens from his strained smile, going earnest and mournful and strange. He hesitates, biting his lip, and then he lifts his hand from Arum's jaw, drifting his fingers up the scales of Arum's cheek. His touch still feels- hot, sparking, as if the contact were prompting a small fissure of magic at the point they meet, and Arum holds his breath so that he does not gasp, instead.

Damien swallows, his heart beating a little faster, and then his lips part.

"Do you want... to try this?" Damien murmurs, his voice thick with sorrow and desire. "To try... us?"

Arum's breath catches in his throat, and he cannot seem to tear his eyes from Damien's-

He realizes, after a heartbeat, that he does not want to.

"I..." Arum swallows, tries to feel anything besides desperate and wanting. He tries, but- but their eyes, their voices and their tears and their hands- the sound of their hearts- the way the keep reaching for him- "I- I do. I do, Damien, I-"

Arum leans up. He feels- cracked through, his defenses tattered beyond salvage, if they want him- if they truly want him- Arum wants to try, to see if he is capable of earning the loyalty and affection these creatures continue to offer, again and again despite how viciously Arum pushes their hands aside. He wants to. He leans up, because he wants Damien to lean down.

Damien's eyes widen, his breath hitching, his muscles tensing, and Arum realizes with a sensation akin to his stomach falling through the floor that Damien's words were not the true question he assumed they were, not now, not in this moment, they were only-

Another echo. Another attempt to trigger a memory that Arum simply does not have. He was not asking- he does not want-

He does not want me, Arum thinks. He wants back only what he once had.

Arum drops his head, his horns pressing indents into the dirt beneath him, and he closes his eyes. Foolishness- foolishness he cannot even deny, now, and for what? For Damien to flinch away from him, to furrow his brow and pull back-

"Off," Arum manages through his teeth. "You've won."

"Arum, I'm-"

"Get off," he snarls, and when he feels Damien flinch above him he adds, quietly, "please."

The knight pulls away. Arum feels cold, and he hears Damien's feet scuffing in the dirt as he moves to stand again, and Arum forces himself to open his eyes again. He curls up, rolling to sit so he can rub at his shoulder for a moment, pretending to test the bruise to give himself a moment to breathe. His eyes flick up despite himself, just as Amaryllis reaches to grip Damien's wrist, squeezing with her lip twitching in a small, comforting smile, and some of the churning despair on Damien's face eases, and then they both look towards him, and Arum drops his eyes back to the dirt with his insides burning, and he hates-

He wants-

He digs his claws into the dirt and then shoves himself to stand. He brushes off his cape, and reaches down to retrieve his blades to slip back into their sheaths.

"Well," Arum says. "I suppose we should be grateful that none of us got our hopes up."

~

[End Notes: I really don't know very much about How Fighting Works, forgive me <3 ]

[barnesandco]

Seafarer

Loosely based on the following prompt by @drink-it-write-it​ :

“You said that I’d get to have you all weekend. Why can’t you just tell them you can’t go?”-“Because it’s my job, and it’s important.”-“And I’m not?”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Angst, talk of groping.

A/N: I personally think this to be an embarrassing piece of work. Nothing more than an exercise in writing internal monologue, particularly of the sad variety. Sad both in terms of content, and quality. You have been warned.

“Sweetheart, open the door.” Bucky mutters, resting his forehead on the solid oak. He got back from his mission half an hour ago, and has spent that time standing at her doorstep, knocking, begging her to let him in. She’s pissed. Has every right to be, Bucky thinks to himself. He made her cry, after all. Left her crying.

“Go. Just go. Back to your apartment, the Compound, I don’t care. Why don’t you just go on another goddamn mission? You seem to love those.” She says, bitterness edging into her tone at his betrayal. Bucky swallows nervously, the lump in his throat becoming more prominent. He opens his mouth to answer, but his voice fails, leaving him gaping like a fish. He tries again.

“Darling, angel, doll-” 

“Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me any of that after abandoning me when I needed you. Go away.” Comes the watery reply, her voice breaking off at the end, like she’s holding back more tears. Of course she is. Any girl stuck with a heartless jerk like him is bound to cry. He knows he can’t leave her like this. Not again. 

“I’m not going anywhere until we talk about this.” 

“Well then, you’ll be waiting a while.”

“Baby, I-”

“I told you to quit it with the pet names. I won’t tell you again. Fuck off, Bucky.” She orders, voice trembling, heart in her throat and hand clenching the doorknob, as if she’s seconds away from opening it and saying it to his face. Not that she’s in any condition to - tears staining a tale of sorrow down her cheeks, bottom lip shaking and bitten red with the effort of containing her rage. 

“I don’t-”

“Please.” She pleads, desperate now. She isn’t sure if she can resist his attempts to speak with her for much longer. Bucky sighs, defeated by the tormented request. It’s no use pushing further. They’re both too emotionally wound up to resolve their conflict reasonably. Why does he have to be the voice of reason? Screw reason.

Still, he turns and leaves, thundering down the stairs. All twelve flights of them. The elevator’s in perfect working condition, but he hates the damn things. There’s no escape route. Unhealthy for his neurotic claustrophobia, catastrophic for emergencies. Disaster waiting to happen. 

Much like him and her, he supposes woefully. Their relationship has always been a stormy one. A hurricane. One that she is both the centre of, and a sanctuary from, which, now that he thinks about it, are one and the same thing. It’s calmest in the eye of the storm, right? Suddenly, Bucky isn’t so sure anymore. Doesn’t have to be, really, he’s a soldier, not a sailor. He wants to be a lover, though. A good one. That’s all he was trying to do, when shit hit the fan that day.

“Bucky? What are you doing here?” She says, putting her bag down slowly, in awe of the sight before her. He’s standing in the tiny kitchen of her tiny apartment, next to a dinner-table set for two. A candle-lit dinner table. 

“Hi, sweetheart. Thought I’d surprise you.” He smiles sheepishly, coming closer to help her out of her coat. He bends down, unbuckles her shoes. She lets him, but his kindnesses don’t distract from the nightmarish nature of her time at work. 

“You've… succeeded.” Her lip wobbles dangerously, like a child on the verge of a tantrum. Bucky picks up on it immediately. It’s only been six months, but he knows her like he knows every fire exit in the building - it’s imprinted into his mind.

“What’s wrong? You look upset.” He asks, rubbing her arms gently. She shakes her head.

“It’ll ruin the mood. I shouldn’t talk about it right now. Let’s just enjoy dinner. Which looks delicious, by the way.” She gestures towards the table, where he’s laid out a lasagna she would’ve inhaled by now if she weren’t so upset.

“Baby, I can see something’s off. Come on, just tell me.” Bucky persists, hand at the small of her back guiding her to the sofa in the adjacent room instead. There are more candles here, lights turned down low, roses in as many vases as they own between the two of them. Looking at all the effort he’s put into tonight’s the drop that makes the bucket run over. The first tears, glimmering in the firelight, roll down her cheeks, as she begins talking.

He should have listened to her, he thinks as he steps out into the September night, bracing himself against the chill that’s already starting to settle in. His every misery begins and ends with this sentiment - he should’ve listened to her. Not pressed the matter. She would have talked when she was ready to. But he didn’t, and as a consequence, is now on the streets of Queens without any idea what to do with himself.

It’s late. Not too late, of course, Bucky would never want to disturb her while she’s sleeping. Would have waited till morning anyway if he wasn’t so anxious about the fragile state of their relationship after the fight they had before he left. But he didn’t. He came here, as soon as formalities like debriefing and cleaning himself up were settled at a break-neck speed. The sun was setting, then. It’s gone now, leaving only darkness punctuated by lampposts, shop signs, and the headlights of oncoming cars. So really, not much darkness at all. It’s only ten, still early, especially for New York, the city that never sleeps. He knows he won’t be able to sleep either, not tonight. The sound of her sobs from that night will haunt him. He recalls the three simple words that started the spectacle that’s driven him out at this hour.

“I got fired.” She says finally, wiping her eyes with the tissue he hands her. New tears immediately replace those she just erased, and from then onwards, it’s a hopeless cause. 

“What? Why?” He exclaims, shocked. More than shock, the vibrations of worry shake his system. For her, and on her behalf. She needs this job. Claims she does, anyhow. Bucky’s happy to provide her with anything she could ever ask for, he’s told her as much, but after much arguing, he has been made aware that that’s not how things work. At least not for her. She needs to stand on her own two feet, and if that means working herself to the bone, in addition to her post-graduate studies, then so be it.

“I slapped a patron. He came around the bar - it was a busy night - squeezed my ass and made some lewd comments. Nothing I haven’t heard before, been catcalled more than I can remember, but this was up close. And he touched me, which hasn’t happened before.” She explains, eyes downcast. His blood pressure skyrockets, and he sees red.

“I’m gonna kill him.” He snarls, immediately softening when her gaze turns to him, frightened. He thinks she’s afraid of him, although she would reassure him of the contrary, as she always does, if she was in any state of mind to do so. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” He tries, gentle this time. She buries her face in his sweater, sobs into his chest. He can feel her chest shaking with the effort of her heaving cries. Bucky wraps his arms around her, heart in his throat at the pain he can physically feel through their points of contact. “Hey, hey, easy there. Calm down, sugar.” This was the wrong thing to say. She straightens up and faces him. 

“Calm down? You know what the manager said?” She asks fiercely. Resumes her furious rant when he doesn’t say anything. “He lectured me about the whole the-customer-is-always-right spiel, and how we have to put up with this stuff - as if he’s ever been groped - and then yelled at me for scaring clients. Then he called me a- a dramatic bitch and said I shouldn’t bother to show up to work tomorrow.“ She counts off the three points on her fingers, voice cracking at the end, and closes her eyes and breathes. She turns back to him. "So you see, Bucky, I can’t calm down.”

He grimaces internally at the reminder of the hurt she had exhibited. All the hurt he ignored. No, he most definitely will not be sleeping tonight. There’s no point in going back to his place in Brooklyn, or the Compound, like she suggested. Everything comes back to her. It has to. She’s the moon, and he is the voyager dependent on her for the tides that guide him to shore. She is also the shore itself - a safe place, somewhere to call home and build a life. Not for long, if they can’t resolve this argument. Their latest one. At the moment, he has only the dirty, echoing subway station, and the trains within.

The platform emits the perennial scents of urine and alcohol, and the drunk stragglers responsible for both having taken up their regular spots in the provided area. Lighthouses that repel those who surround them instead of attract them. A strand of hair comes loose from behind Bucky’s ear as a train rushes out from the tunnel to his right; he tucks it in its place impatiently, ice-blue eyes scanning the platform. The brakes screech as the doors open and the soft, robotic voice inside announces the station to its passengers. He throws caution to the wind and enters the train. He doesn’t know where it’s going, but then, he doesn’t know where he’s going either. Doesn’t need to, as long as it takes him away from everything. He’s good at that. Running away. He ran away from Steve at the Triskelion and in Bucharest. He ran away from her when she needed him, because he thought she didn’t.

“What is it, Sam?” He answers the phone, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. Closes his eyes as his teammate delivers the blow. The Avengers are needed,  somewhere in the world. Urgently so. “Do I have to? I’m in the middle of something.” He tells Sam, glancing over at her. She’s already figured it out. “Fine, fine. Yeah, I’m ready, give me a call when you get here.” Putting the phone down, he nervously runs his hands through his hair. “I- I have to go.” He says. 

“Where?” 

“Argentina. One week, tops. I’m sorry.” Bucky apologizes. It’s not enough to quell her concerns. Her pain. The torment he sees in her eyes. He wishes he could stay. Perhaps she’s better off without him, he considers.

“Stay. Please.” Clearly, she disagrees.

“I want to, doll, I really do. But they need me.”

“So do I.”

“Don’t do this to me.” He begs of her, because he can’t bear to see her like this. He’d give her the world if she asked, but at the moment, he can’t even give her the consolation she needs after a traumatic ordeal.

“Bucky, I don’t want to be the damsel in distress here, but I am in distress. I can’t cope with all the shit that went down today. That man- and ugh. Please, Bucky.” She’s pacing now, in front of the coffee table, and the tears are back in full force. Bucky averts his eyes.

“I wish I could, but Sam says-”

“Just tell him you can’t go. This one time.”

“I can’t do that. It’s my job, and it’s important.”

“And I’m not?”

Bucky thumps his head heavily against the window behind him. Closes his eyes against the onslaught of guilt and shame. He shouldn’t have left. Not then, with Sam, and not now, alone. He could have waited in the hallway. Instead he’s gotten on a train bound for nowhere, with nothing on his mind but the one person he can’t live without. Besides Steve, naturally. That punk is the bane of his existence, and Bucky wouldn’t want it any other way. They’re his people. The ones he needs to keep safe at all costs. Sam, too, occasionally, not that Bucky would ever tell him that. Evidently, he failed. He hurt her when he swore that he would be the one defending her from any such thing. 

Now here he is, in a train under the city he calls home, but feeling more homesick than he ever has. He never thought he’d fall in love this quickly. Six months is all it took for him to hand his heart over to a woman who seems hell bent on throwing it back in his face. He doesn’t blame her for rejecting his soul, broken and bruised as it is. He does blame himself for thinking that any balm that soothes those scars would last forever. Their courtship was too good to be true. He ponders this, and her tear-streaked face, as the train carries him deeper into a direction he does not care to go. He does not care to go anywhere she isn’t, however, the more he tries to return to her, the further he seems to drift away. Lost at sea, never to be found.

Taglist: @buckyreaderrecs @mermaidxatxheart @corneliabarnes

[outroshooky]

whatever in heaven | knj

⇢ genre: series; part three (mafia!au) (angst, fluff, smut)

⇢ pairing: kim namjoon x reader

⇢ word count: 5.8k

⇢ warnings: smut (soft d/s dynamics. grinding, oral [m receiving], brief use of the word daddy, marking, gentler dirty talk [praise]) angst (implied usage and mention of knives, nightmare), some fluff. this fic is a bit of a mind-fuck; there are darker themes here, so please read with caution.

⇢ a/n: i’m so excited for you guys to read the next installment of verses & vibes! a huge, huge thank you to my beta readers @sunkoos​ (go check out nas’s work!) and @hobiswitch​; an even bigger thank you to @guksheart​ for not only beta reading this fic but posting this for me because of laptop difficulties!

...which leads me into, unfortunately, some bad news. my laptop crashed permanently over the weekend and i may have lost all of my files. i’m working to get them back, but this also means i have to buy a new laptop. thus, verses and vibes (and my writing in general) may go on hiatus until i can figure out a way to keep writing and posting new content. more updates forthcoming— for now, enjoy whatever in heaven!

“i know not if i could have borne

 to see thy beauties fade;

 the night that follow’d such a morn

 had worn a deeper shade:

 thy day without a cloud hath pass’d,

 and thou wert lovely to the last,

 extinguish’d, not decay’d;

 as stars that shoot along the sky

 shine brightest as they fall from high.”

⤷ and thou art dead, as young and fair; lord byron (george gordon)

It is always the same in the beginning.

He is kneeling on a concrete floor that goes on as far as he can see, cold and callous against the skin that peeks from the stringy rips in his pajama pants. A single light flickers above his head, murky cream, faded with age. His arms are bound behind his back with braided rope, biting vengeance into his tender wrists. His exhalations wisp pale smoke, rushing from his lips to touch the folded legs of a woman sitting just out of the ring of wired lamplight.

The supports of the chair are metal; he momentarily ponders how her skin isn’t dotted with gooseflesh through the thin fabric of her dress, but her cherry-red heels catch the light in a way that has his breath hitching. Something in him presses to reach out to her but he can’t, straining against his bonds like a feral cat caged. He snarls, a gritting sound in the silence of the warehouse, and she hums something seductive in return.

It is a dark heat that kindles in the pit of Namjoon’s stomach when he realizes he is staring at temptation herself, clothed in cherry pumps and scarlet lipstick. She is the antithesis of everything he should have and yet, yet—

He craves her more and more with every second that goes past. He doesn’t need to see her face to know that she is hauntingly beautiful, a devil crafted from memory, sent from hell to tempt him in all the ways she knew how. The blooming lust in his veins climbs with viney fingers straight to his brain, his head spinning, flying high; he barely knows what to believe. Somehow, she’s pulling on the strings of his thoughts, a marionette and his master dancing on the brink. One wrong string and the puppet collapses in a heap of cloth and kindling.

He groans, the sound of frustration and need echoing on and on in the dim room. She laughs velvet rich, sickeningly sweet. He wishes he could rend the binds from his arms, crawl to her, worship her the way she deserves; he shuffles forward an inch, two—

A plain black combat knife skitters to a stop in front of him, twirling once before coming to rest, just grazing his left kneecap. Resting potential against the crook of his leg, and he sucks in a breath when he feels the chilled edge level against the puckered scar on his knee.

She doesn’t speak, but Namjoon knows exactly what she means to say.

Thoughts clamor at the base of his skull, hissing seduction like a writhing mass of coiled snakes snapping for attention. They strike at one another, seeking dominion, and he’s nearly consumed by the din. A choice, cut out for him by the hands of fate, burned in the ashes of every decision he’s ever made. It boils down to this, to him and her and everything in between.

At one pellucid flicker of insanity, his hands are freed.

The ropes fall frayed to the floor and he straightens, rubbing at the burn in his forearms, rolling his neck to loosen the strain. His eyes flicker to her mass in the darkness, the shape of her just touched by the faintest tendrils of light. She is just out of reach, but so close, so far when her head tilts, a hint of fascination. He is mortal, she is eternal— a man reduced at the end of the day, stripped of money and power and the demons that lick at his heels. Greed is his master, but she is his, coveted in the secrecy of this cushioned nightmare.

He knows though, in the deepest reaches of his twisted soul, that only one of them will leave the warehouse alive.

In this horrible, shattered husk of reality, only one of them is destined to live.

And somehow, the choice has fallen to him.

Pick up the knife. Pick it up, feel it in your hands, smooth and weighted, perfectly balanced. Everything you’ve ever wanted is in the palm of your hands. Make the right choice. Do it for me, baby. For me.

Namjoon is pitted against his own self-preservation, warped desires clamoring for attention, needy yet sick. Needy, he is so fucking needy, but for what? Anticipation itches the back of his neck; he can barely think when the handle melds into the curve of his palm with such a sinful fit. The metal glints promise of things yet to come, but when he tilts the blade towards himself, he sees only the industrial struts that crosshatch the ceiling, the dust that hovers thick in the clogged, choking air. Emptiness and fulfillment, hand in hand, only a breath away.

You know what the answer is, Kim Namjoon. Do it. Do it for me.

Does he know? He must know, deep in the recesses of his bones. Deep inside the fucked-up mind of his, playing tricks on him; a trickster, what trickster? The last of his sanity is threatening to drip, melting like liquid wax onto the cool, callous cement. It’s bubbling in his hands, pouring through the gaps between his fingers, but when he shakes his head, a mad dog, it solidifies molten silver, black titanium.

Do it for me.

Do it for her.

He must.

Namjoon’s eyes flicker to her calf, following the silk of her skin to the hem of her saccharine dress; it flutters scarlet just out of reach. He’s on his knees now; there’s something pulling at him, some indeterminable force dragging him through the floor. The blade slips; the knife twists in his hands as he falls forward, and—

The air rushes out of Namjoon’s lungs as he writhes himself awake, mouth agape in an silent scream. He’s wheezing with the first rush of oxygen into his lungs, his lips swollen with gnashing of teeth as he twists away from the warmth settled next to him in the sea of rippling sheets, curling in on himself.

“Namjoon, are you alright?”

The broken man lifts his head, taking in the naked form upright in bed beside him, hair awry, concern bleeding every word.

It’s you.

He’s safe.

Indeed, Namjoon has had many dreams, but none quite like this one.

It is as if the very breath was sucked from Namjoon’s lungs when he first wrested himself awake in a cold sweat. Control is something he craves, something he owns save the late night hours when it is ripped from his hands by the sick desires of his own brain, playing tricks on him. He exercises his grip on every minutiae of his life, but when his eyes flutter shut and his conscience takes hold, it wraps a silken tie around his thoughts and begs him to pay attention.

You’re calling his name in a voice burdened by drowsiness. He knows you were awoken because of him but he can’t seem to think, to do anything else but sit here in this bed, in these rippling creamy sheets, and feel his lungs fill, empty. Fill, empty.

“Namjoon, love, breathe with me, okay?”

Breathing. Breathing is all he has been reduced to, a creature of the night with oxygen in his lungs and demons in his head.

You take his hand in your own, feels the slim digits trembling against your skin. You rub gentle circles into his knuckles and it somehow grounds him in the midst of the chaos, the overwhelming flood conjured from his worst nightmares. He watches as you carefully trace every crooked angle of his fingers with your own.

It is this simple motion that produces new thoughts, a mental clamor not of his own demise but for his own safety, the protection that he seeks. You are so much more than the sum of your parts: you are safety in the midst of a den of ruby-eyed cobras simply begging for a chance to strike. He’s never thought of anybody the way he thinks of you; there is no one else who comes close to you, and that’s saying a lot when it comes to his line of work.

“Namjoon, you’re safe, okay? You’re safe with me. We’re in our bedroom. You’re still the head of the most feared crime ring in the country. Nothing has changed. Yoongi is just outside the door; I’m right here. Nothing has changed, baby. You’re safe.”

Your words are warm against his skin, dotted with the press of lips to his temple, his cheek. You’re burning up against him, sweat beading at the roots of his hair, the silver strands falling low into his eyes. Somehow, the heat only serves to make him cooler, and he’s nestling into your arms before his mind catches up to his body. He’s safe. Somehow, in the roaring din of his mind, he is safe. His demons won’t follow him here, locked outside the door, palms scrabbling at the windows. The windows. Namjoon’s eyes flick to the glass and find the shades drawn, blocking out the ambient light that hovers thick on the other side. Bulletproof, he insisted, and for good reason. But Yoongi would have called if there was a problem, and he’s got Seokjin at the front gate, and it begins to seep in, sweet relief, that he truly is safe.

He is cradled to you like a child, a position compromising for a man of his stature, but he knows you won’t judge. Your hand trails from his thigh to his hip, his ribs to his shoulders, and your fingers nest in his hair, gently scratching his scalp. Lord knows he won’t be able to close his eyes until daylight breaks over the dark oak floor of your shared bedroom, but he hums and noses at your neck. You smell like sage and lavender with a touch of his own cologne, a memory of last night, and he inhales deeply, tries to savor the muskiness.

“You’re okay baby, I promise.” A kiss to his temple, another grounding touch. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you; you’re safe right here with me. Just let me love you, okay baby?”

Love. Love, a concept Namjoon knew better by verbal parry than by any real, tangible memory. It was wielded by a father he barely knew, an absent mother who preferred the company of socialites to the company of her own son. It was really a wonder he found it in him to love at all, really; he’d assumed he’d leave such an emotion to those who built a life out of a 9-5 day and mediocre sex. He’d been proven wrong, however, when you came along— you, once a high-profile escort in the dirty underworld he’d built for himself, proved yourself a worthy companion when you stayed beyond his guttural moans and dirty secrets. It was in fact, a moment like this when he realized he quite enjoyed your company, and there was something more to it than just a good fuck, an easy pussy.

You were the closest thing to real love he’d ever experienced, a home to come back to that wasn’t a prowling security team and a clean gun barrel. He’d exposed the grittiest parts of himself to you, the most private secrets and still you came back for more. You were just as fucked up as he was, really, and that was his favorite thing about you. You’d killed for him and he knew you’d kill again, and that was, very plainly, the matter of things.

Plus, that mouth made him see the stars more times than he’d willingly brag about at the poker table.

He presses a kiss to your shoulder, exposed through the lip of your shirt (his shirt, actually). It’s a careful kiss, chaste for him. Your fingers rub comfort into the base of his skull and he swears he could purr, an alley cat sleek and pleasured.

“You doing okay, Joonie?” Your eyes tell him everything he needs to know and he nods, unsure if he trusts himself to speak. Fear still gnaws at his bones, muted terror of a red-heeled succubus and a silver blade that gleams in the lamplight. Somehow though, you know, scraping the blunt of your fingernails against his roots. “You don’t have to talk to me about it if you don’t want to. I’m here regardless of that, you know me.”

Namjoon noses the column of your neck in reply, folding his sizeable frame until it molds against yours. Some things he’d never let the boys know about, but some things, he thinks, they knew about already. He is hard and cold and calculated yet soft and warm and comforting, a living contradiction unto himself; you’d never believe it if you hadn’t seen it yourself. A complexity of men who prefers to live by the simplest of rules, but you’d learned long ago not to try to understand something that was fucked-up from the start. Some things in this world were just fucked up, and that was the way they were meant to be.

Neither of you know how long you sit there, adrift in messy sheets, dry eyes gritty with the lateness of the hour. Your hand weaves through Namjoon’s hair as the vines around his heart flex, their thorny stems unraveling. He stopped shaking minutes before, but if you know anything about him, the internal tremors never cease, not outside of the safety of this bedroom, impossible with the life he lives.

He stirs a little, murmurs your name against your neck, his lips brushing bare skin and the small freckle that dots just above your collarbone. There’s something so intimate, so human about it, screaming vulnerability that hangs open and aching in the silence. His hands slide smooth across the breadth of your back, your waist, palms settling atop your thighs as he draws back slowly, slowly.

There’s a question in his eyes, one you meet with your own.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He hesitates.

“Namjoon…”

He swallows, tilts his head, steals a kiss. “I’m sorry.” Then another.

With the third you’re pulling away, chest steady, finger to his lips. “Namjoon, you’re not thinking clearly. We can’t do this right now—”

“Says who?” He is breathless with the thought. “I wanna make you feel good, baby. You deserve that.”

The sweetest words wrap themselves around the breadth of your bones, melting between the gaps. He’s always been so good with his tongue.

“Namjoon, I wanna make you feel good too, but not when you’re like this.” You shake your head. “Not when you’re waking up screaming about death and knives and all sorts of horrible things.”

His hands brush your curves. “If this bed is an ocean, I wanna drown in you.”

“Joonie…”

It’s so easy to work at you, the sharper edges that he can dissect piece by piece. He knows exactly how far to push, what little to say to reel you in hook, line, and sinker. “Just go with it baby, alright? Just trust me.”

It’s easy to fall into Namjoon, collapsing every time as he folds around you. His head tilts to the side as he leans in, his nose brushing your own. He tastes like mint toothpaste and something uniquely him, an element you can never place but when he’s exposing the most vulnerable parts of himself to you like this. His mouth moves easy against yours, just tender lips, warm kisses. His hand smoothes up your spine to cradle your neck, thumb brushing at the nape, the soft hairs that tickle the back of his hand. “Just relax baby, relax.”

Once more. “Joonie, are you sure you’re okay with this?”

He nods. “I want this.”

He’s never been one for kissing but tonight he craves it, the simplicity of two mouths and hands that fit themselves perfectly against the curves and the edges. Musk curls under your nose as your eyelids flutter shut, dusting the apples of your cheeks a pinkish hue. Your hands meet his chest, burning with heat through the oversized Grateful Dead shirt he wears to bed with you, and they slide to his shoulders when he slips an arm underneath you to tug you closer.

You settle atop the apexes of his thighs, legs folding around him as he gazes up at you. The utmost adoration he has for you, written in the stars and in two hearts that beat as one, rattling against their cages with a need for closer, closer, closer. Fear melts underneath practiced fingertips and patience; he’ll be damned if he doesn’t return the favor. His eyes, usually tawny and mellow, burn blacker than charcoal but sweeter than syrup, running with emotion. It’s evident in every brush of his hands against your bare skin when his fingertips edge under the hem of your shorts, the gleam in his eye that warns of everything that is about to come. One hand supports your back as the other squeezes your thigh, and you can’t help but smirk down at him with the easy smile that tugs at his own kiss-bitten lips.

You aren’t smirking, however, when he leans in and nips a bite at your neck, teasing with his teeth, making you whimper and whine atop him. His tongue pokes between his lips, assuaging the pain, and your own mouth falls open as your fingers clench at his shoulders, nails sliding a lazy path along his spine. He licks once at the bite, then once more until he’s satisfied with the petaled violet that blossoms across the breadth of your throat. He nibbles a matching purple rose on the other side; you can feel the smile on his lips when your mouth shamelessly tips open and you stutter out his name.

“Hm, what is it?” When he draws back, you moan a singular complaint. “What do you want, love? I’ll give you anything you want.”

“W-Wanna make you feel good,” you pant, eyes fluttering. “Wanna make you feel so good.”

“I wanna make you feel good too, baby. Let’s just focus on the now, yeah?” Namjoon’s hand squeezes your thigh but you’re already pressing your body flush to his, kneeling over him. You cup his face and he strokes your wrist lightly, the most tentative of touches, thanking god that somehow, in the midst of the lion’s den, you’d found him. He had you and he knew he could trust you, trust the smell of your shampoo and the heat of your skin. “Focus on me.”

You lean down to kiss him, brushing his cheekbones, tangling your hands in his hair, but apparently, Namjoon had other plans. His lips graze your own, trailing the edge of your jaw to pepper the lightest kisses at your ear and move lower, lower. When his mouth lavishes the column of your neck with the utmost pleasure, you can’t help but feel your core ache, the purest whines permeating the thick air as you beg. He’s definitely hard now, weight against the inside of your thigh, and the temptation— no, the need to grind down on him sparked the fuzziest pleasures in your mind, the most sinful ideas.

“Please Joonie, please feels so good, please, w-wanna—”

When Namjoon mouths wet at the shell of your ear you writhe, losing control with each second that slips between your fingers like sand. His lips burn fire against your already heated skin, sizzling and crackling like a live wire under his touch. You hiss and he growls deep in the back of his throat, continues his ministrations.

“I forgot how much you liked that,” he breathes shakily.

“You’re so fucking hot,” you gasp, releasing your iron grasp on his roots. Luckily he’s unfazed; damn lucky you to be with someone who actually enjoyed their fair share of kinkiness. “So fucking hot and you’re so thick, I can feel it—”

When you grind down on him, pressing yourself onto the growing bulge in his slacks and swiveling your hips with practiced ease, he groans feverishly. With every brush of the head of his cock, he’s harder than before, memory weighty in the palm of his hand. He chokes on the breath in his lungs, his nails blunt on your back, and he moans once in content. Feels so fucking good.

“God, baby, you’re gonna ruin me like this,” Namjoon chuckles.

“Maybe that’s the intention,” you trill.

“Fuck.” The word lies heavy in the air, heavy on his bated breath.

You smirk, sinful seduction in his ear. “And what if I did this?”

As his eyebrows furrow, you ease yourself onto his thighs, so strong and sinewy. Your fingertips slip down his shoulders, trace every muscle that strains under his loose sleep shirt. Beneath the fabric is the coiled power of a lethal creature, a tiger poised to devour his prey. And he is utterly wrapped around your finger, letting his head tip back against the headboard with a  sigh. He’s lost in your touches, an angel fallen from heaven, no idea which way is up or down.

You rub circles into his hip bones; he twists under you. Practically begging with his gasps, knowing what awaits him. Your fingers toy with the hem of his boxers and he’s hissing between his teeth. “Baby…”

You hum a response, press a kiss to the shell of his ear.

“Please…”

“Oh Namjoon,” you coo. “You’re a mess, baby.”

He is. Hair sticking to his forehead, sweat gleaming at his temple; he’s a model for destruction, the dirtiest of kinds. Hips arching underneath you, and there’s a wet spot that stains the fabric. He smiles somehow, teeth flashing in the low light. “All for you.”

You withdraw, spit into your palm. “Then you get all of me.”

Your hand slips beneath the waistband of his boxers, finds his cock, thick and hard. At the first stroke, lazy and full, he can’t stop the raspy grunt that leaves his throat. “Shit, baby. Feels so good.” When you lower your head to mouth at him over his sweats he practically writhes, begging, needy. So unlike him, but a welcome change to see him falling apart, falling apart over you. The fabric is soaked with saliva and dotted with a pearl of cum, a carnal work of art.

You rub slowly down his length, thumbing the swollen head leaking his seed. It’s messy and wet and he’s moaning and it’s all worth it, worth it to see him wrecked like this. His balls are heavy in your palm; when your eyes flutter up to meet his, wide and expectant, Namjoon hisses. That sound enough jolts burning heat between your thighs, twisting devilishly in your stomach. “B-Babygirl?”

There’s question in the word, question that makes you pause. You moan against his clothed cock; he chokes on his words.

“Can I make you feel good too?”

A sloppy kiss pressed to his member. “Later, okay? I wanna focus on you right now, Joonie.”

His hand strokes through your hair, flyaway, disheveled. “You’re so good to me. So fucking good—” He chokes on the downstroke, fingers tightening out of reflex. “Want you so bad.”

You press. “How bad? Bad enough to want my mouth?”

“Shit, your mouth,” he whines. “Want your mouth, want you—”

“Joonie,” you murmur.

His heartbeat resounds like gunfire in the ringing silence.

“Lift.”

He lifts his hips as you tug, pulling his sweats down to his thighs, the fabric ridged underneath your perch. His cock falls free, standing slightly crooked against his still-clothed abdomen, rippling with tension. It twitches under the heat of your gaze, steadily seeping liquid bliss, and your mouth waters at the thought. It’s been so long since you took him like this; when it’ll happen again, who’s to say.

You pepper kisses along his thighs just to hear him whimper, feel the predator writhe in his own constraints. His hands burn their own trails along the curves of your body, spreading heat in their wake as you cave to your own desire, slipping a hand between your thighs when you take him in your mouth with practiced ease. He’s firm under your fingertips, lithe and sleek and powerful in all the right ways, but he falls apart when it comes to you, crumbles like rock under the breath of the tidal wave. He grunts sin from between gritted teeth but whines complaint when you pull back to tease, to draw things out. He’s gentle in his touches but firm in his demands, even through the cottony billows of his neediness.

“I-I’m close,” Namjoon stutters, skin crimson from lavished attention. There’s saliva smeared down your chin and tears twinkle liquid starlight on your lashes, but you’ve never felt more electrified, burning up at the seams for him. From the heated confines of your throat you withdraw his cock with a firm touch at the base, his fingers running through your mussed locks.

“Where do you want to cum, baby?”

He squirms. “Fuck. Wherever you’ll take m-me—” He shudders, ribs heaving. Your fallen angel, shattering under your touch. “Oh shit, I’m gonna cum for you, babygirl.”

“Cum for me, angel. Cum for me...” you murmur, gaze level with his own as you wrap your lips around his member.

“Gonna cum for you, fuck—”

“Daddy.”

The cavernous heat of your mouth is a slick warmth, so wet and warm and utterly divine. He loses himself in it, lets himself go, pushing towards that edge of no return, riding the crest of the wave as it rolls faster, harder, heavier. “‘M gonna fucking cum. Oh god, fuck, shit, babygirl, I’m cumming, I’m—”

A drawn out groan fills the air, raspy and thick and throaty as he thrusts into your mouth once, twice, spills over. He’s bitter on your tongue, acrid but you take it, swallow it all. It’s worth it to see the pleasure overtake him, to see him let go of every capacity and capability to fall drowning, dizzy. Whatever in heaven, above or below, he’s tumbling headlong into it, collapsing into himself like a burning star falling from the cosmos.

He’s the first to break the silence that falls, withdrawing himself and tucking his softening cock back in his sweats with a remarkable amount of composition for a man who’d just seen the very sparks of the universe behind closed eyelids. He chuckles breathless, bated. “Fucking hell, angel.”

You try to speak but merely croak at first, throat grating dry. He hushes you soothingly, easing you back on the pillows now soaked with sweat. “Let me get you some water, yeah? Just stay here for now.”

You whine a complaint— shouldn’t you be taking care of him?— but he’s insistent and already on his feet, legs shaky as he heads towards the bathroom. There’s a pang in your chest watching him go, the reality of the situation settling in, and vulnerability flowers in your heart.

The tap squeaks; the faucet runs. Room temperature water, not too hot but not too cold to soothe the burn in your esophagus. He knows you better than anyone, knows how to take care of you when you fail to take care of yourself, life spent always on the run. You’re the one holding him when his nightmares consume him, the steel that he draws from his belt to wield before him, the ultimate weapon. Yin and yang, black and white, blooming nebula and neutron star. The water turns off, a grating complaint.

It’s been too long; you’ve delayed too much. Play to his fantasy; he has no idea what’s coming.

“If the water’s not enough, I can send Yoongi for some tea— oh.”

Oh.

You are no longer prostrate, the limp rag doll exhausted from her play. No, you are stretched out on the bed, ass up on your hands and knees, silver glinting between your teeth as a pair of handcuffs dangles in the air. You are looking at him with fire smouldering deep in your eyes, blazing a burning glare straight through him.

The predator has become the prey.

“Daddy,” you purr, right on cue. “Come here.”

It’s automatic, the way Namjoon moves towards you, glass forgotten on the nearby dresser. He’s completely transfixed, fascinated by the possibilities, and when he reaches the end of the bed, you stop him with one outstretched foot, bare with the lateness of the hour. “Turn around.”

He’s so submissive, so compliant simply by the force of his own surprise. It’s hard to keep going, hard to push through the adrenaline thrumming through your blood, the underlying current that threatens to sweep you away, too. But you mustn’t listen, mustn’t feel.

“Hands behind your back, Joonie, baby.”

He’s perfect, perfectly whole in the way he follows each command that falls from your lips like silk spun thread. He surrenders himself so willingly to you, it stings raw.

You rise to your feet, level with the back of him. Your fingers make quick work of the cuffs and with a firm click, the deed is done.

With a tender motion that surprises even you considering the brevity of the situation, you wrap your arms around your torso, bury your face in his skin, inhale his scent. Amber and citrus. Musk and spice. Whole contradictions that somehow manage to summarize him perfectly. You whisper against his spine like it’s a secret. “I’m so sorry.”

“What, baby?”

You can feel his heartbeat against your cheek, thudding rapid with excitement, wonder at what lies ahead of him. Guilt roars its ugly head and you beat it back with double the force.

You stiffen, step away from him. Four years you’d waited to formulate these words, to hear them drop from your lips, plummeting on high. Four years and now the moment is here, and you swallow past the lump in your sore throat.

“Kim Namjoon, you are under arrest for charges of extortion, murder, murder-for-hire, drug possession, and arms trafficking. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you…”

“...Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”

You’re sitting in the open door of a police cruiser, more specifically a SWAT cruiser, an aluminum blanket wrapped around your bare shoulders. The air is warm, but you can’t stop shivering.

Seokjin paces fifteen feet away from you, ever more handsome in his suit and tie. Hoseok is finishing his interview of the conclusion, anticlimactic for the better. Yoongi’s legs dangle from the open doors of one of the ambulances called when your colleagues expected the worst. Thankfully, no casualties had occurred but a sprained ankle, a fight between one of your fellow law enforcement officers and that guy that manned the back gate. Everyone can go home, rest easy.

After Seokjin’s interview is yours, and you realize by the time Hoseok is asking the last question that you don’t remember a single word of what you’ve said. Elite agents taking down the biggest crime boss in the country are not supposed to feel so empathetic, so broken. Guilty. Regretful.

Four years, the longest and most dramatic chase of your career. Justice fell, a swift hammer; you’d saved the day once again, added another face to the chalkboard in your sterile office a thousand miles away. You’d won. Hadn’t you?

There’s a faraway look in your eyes that Hoseok somehow understands, a glimmer of something more than success. He straddles the age gap between the members of the team, incorporating Jeongguk’s youthfulness with his elders’ experience, the glue of it all handed the most important task. He calls your name. “You’ve been out of it the entire time I’ve been interviewing you. What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing.”

But there’s no bite to the words, no whet of passion. They fall flat below the crackle of radios, the mist that reflects red and blue through the evergreen trees scraping the stars winking high above.

Hoseok puts his pen and clipboard aside. “Hey,” he says. The kindness in his tone pierces daggers through your heart. You somehow would’ve been more comfortable if he had yelled at you. “You did the right thing. He hurt a lot of people. Killed many more, and did so without remorse.”

That’s what you think, you want to scream. Because to you, he is some foreign criminal, far removed from any last dregs of humanity. He is a monster and a crook and a fiend, twisted into something unrecognizable, but you didn’t see what I saw. Did you see the warmth in his eyes when he rolled over and buried himself in my arms all those mornings in bed? Did you see the way he saved those dogs about to be euthanized in a shelter, because those pups reminded him of how he used to feel, staring death in the eyes every day? Did you see the way he loved me?

Hoseok pats your shoulder. “I’ll put in a month and a half of vacation time for you when we get home. Lord knows you’ve earned it. And we can rest tonight, rest for the first time in a while. We’ve got a nice hotel an hour away from here, top floor. We’re not done flushing out the rest of his boys, but that can wait for now. We can handle that on our own; they’re scattered all over the continent anyways. It’ll take time.” He picks up his supplies, turns to move on to Yoongi. The look in the elder man’s eyes, the special ops agent thinks, is exactly the same as your own. What had you two seen in that hellhole?

You tuck the blanket tighter around yourself and nod once. It’s the most you can do.

Hoseok smiles, but it’s not quite the beaming, sunshine-filled glow he usually carries about himself. “You did good work and I’m proud of you. Get some sleep, agent.”

Sleep does not come for a long, long time.

When it does, it eats away behind your eyelids, filling your mind with visions of a man adrift in an ocean of bedsheets, rocking on the waves of an endless concrete floor that goes for miles and miles, whispering promises of things to come that never would be.

Kim Namjoon is sentenced to life in prison for six counts of murder, fifteen counts of extortion, three counts of murder-for-hire, six counts of drug trafficking, three counts of arms trafficking, and two counts of drug possession.

He never makes it to see his twenty-sixth birthday.