#i have no predictions for the finale other than that gay love will save the world

[outerjersey]

🕯️ revival kiss 🕯️

[teambyler]

The most heartbreaking way Byler can culminate (and how I predict it will)

(pic from 80smayfieldz)

Just cry me with today, okay? :')

We all know that when Mike and Will confess their love it has to be EPIC. Like, extreme circumstances need to happen to make these gay boys in an 80s small town confess their love. It's the only way a romance with THIS much build-up over years should pay off.

Bylers need to watch this scene from the Season 1 finale of Agents of SHIELD (Warning: spoilery if you plan to watch this old show... and you will cry!) It's two LONG-TIME BEST FRIENDS but only one can make it out alive. A secretly loves B and has avoided confessing his love because he thinks it's unrequited. He finally admits it, to explain why he's making the ultimate sacrifice.

Now think of Mike and Will on a dangerous mission that is KEY to saving Hawkins. Maybe they're in the church that Noah and Finn are shooting a scene in. Will realizes only one of them can make it out alive, and decides it'll be Mike:

Mike: "There's got to be another way, that's RIDICULOUS! You can't do this, you're my best friend!" Will: "You're more than that, Mike (can't believe he said it, fights back tears) ... Now, PLEASE..."

This is my best prediction of how it'll go. WILL confessing to MIKE makes more sense writing-wise. Mike probably figures out the Painting Lie early in s5, but how he feels for Will remains a mystery. So how MIKE responds to a love confession is uncertain.

This is a season where the Duffers have hinted they'll highlight Will's courage. So he can finish his coming-out arc by telling the person he loves. The Duffers have said Will, always the protected one, the rescued one, will come into his own in s5. I think this means he gets to be the hero this time. It will be a poetic way for Will to finally thank Mike for everything he did for him in s1 and s2; it gives symmetry to their relationship. And it would be a heroic send-off for Will.

(And NO I don't think Will will die. We gays have already had our Reddie and Destiel tragedies. Will dying would go against how the Duffers have set this show up.)

What will Mike do, when confronted with losing Will forever?

We know how he felt once before...

Mike offers himself instead, but for the mission it needs to be Will. This is the last time he'll see Will alive.

Does Mike tell Will he loves him? We know the boy struggles with saying how he feels.

Mike begs Will not to die. He can't lose him AGAIN. He couldn't live if he did. When Will doesn't believe it, MIKE KISSES HIM.

Actions, not words. ("I didn't say it." "You didn't have to.")

Mike insists on staying. Will tries to make him leave, but he refuses.

"You've always been an idiot, Mike." Will doesn't know to laugh or cry. He's sad... not about dying, but regrets the years they lost not being together.

They kiss again and hold each other tightly... And we again hear Peter Gabriel, as the church walls fall and the world is about to end:

And we kissed as though nothing could fall And the shame The shame was on the other side And we can be heroes just for one day.

-teambyler

[thefirstlioveyou]

What will Mike and Will's S5 Fight Be About?

Shawn Levy basically confirme/implied another angsty Byler fight for S5.

But, what will it be about? Some think it'll be about the painting, but personally, I don't think so at all. I believe the fight will be about Mike's internalized homophobia; Mike will be afraid to romantically be with Will and it hurts Will.

First off, I don't think Mike would be mad for him hiding his feelings or lying about the painting. The sole purpose of the painting lie is to open a gate way to Mike knowing how Will feels about him. It's a set up. Why would he be mad that it was Will who thought those amazing things about him? He's in love with Will.

Now, let's see the common traits that all Byler fights have:

miscommunication, but they both want the same thing

is about their relationship

mike projecting

happens pretty early on, episodes 3-4

triggered by a shift in their relationship/mike doing something

they are alone

It's pretty predictable that S5 will focus on Mike's feelings for Will and be in Will's position this time. He's gonna be a yearning, gay mess! However, it doesn't make sense to copy every little thing as that wouldn't bring anything new to the table. It would quite frankly feel lazy and boring.

I actually believe they will be honest about how they feel episodes 3-4 (after Mike discovers the truth about the painting, what would be the shift in their relationship), and it will be a very angsty scene rather than a happily-ever-after moment (for now). Here's how I picture it: Will wants a relationship with Mike, Mike wants one too, but he's reluctant to because of the shame and bit of denial still lingering.

As understanding as one can be in this situation, it's also hurtful to hear on the receiving end. I can imagine it makes Will very upset. After so long of waiting for Mike, waiting to see if his feelings could be reciprocated, he finally gets it but doesn't get to keep it because of the shame Mike feels. Will does indeed feel like a mistake for his sexuality but, as he also states, Mike makes him feel otherwise. So, if he heard the same person that makes him feel better for who he is, say he's wrong for being the same thing he is.... that would HURT Will terribly. In Will's eyes, he will truthfully believe Mike doesn't want him, even if in Mike's POV, he wants nothing more than Will. This is where the miscommunication comes in play.

This is a real thing that happens in many Queer relationships even to today, when one is ready and the other is not yet. There is no bad guy (unless cheating, abuse, etc is involved of course) in these type of situations. You can sympathize with both sides... Which makes this a perfect fight to watch as the audience; it wouldn't make you hate either of the characters.

Some people say Mike’s accepted his sexuality by the end of S4, but I feel like if he did, it wouldn’t really be a good set up for him to be Vecna’d in S5. His struggle with who he is and his relationship with El is crucial to S5. If we keep Mike struggling with his sexuality and his trauma regarding El, this gives a purpose for him to be Vecna'd, which is the perfect way to explain a lot of his character the past seasons. Similar to how Max escaped Vecna the first time, Mike would do something similar (with the help of others, of course). He will have to accept the mistakes he's made, accept past events that were out of his control and accept who he is, or let himself die. Rather than focus so much on saving others or being needed to others, he must save himself now, for himself. He has to finally believe he is the heart. Finally confronting and accepting what he can't change will bring his character and his relationships to a full circle. It would explain his dynamic with El and Will the whole series. He will finally have the self-confidence he lost.

As much as people want Byler to have an established relationship in S5, I don't think that's likely. With a fight already implied to happen again (most likely early on), it wouldn't make much sense? They're a slow burn on top of that... The season is building up to them being together, it's not them already together (at least I don't think so).

The writers can obviously find a different route, but I feel like this would work and fit well. It would save Mike's character perfectly and it connects with the Mike being vecna'd, or at least in danger, theories; It gives it more purpose.

I just can't really imagine what else the fight would be about. It has to be about their relationship and it has to be about it changing in some way. Mike's weird behavior still needs to be explained... so I would think the fight has to be connected to the reason for that behavior. The fight would then be about his internalized homophobia. And if it is, it has to be explicitly about it, not just subtext like S3 fight.

Rather than “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls” and insulting Will, Mike straight up will have to be like, “I’m scared, what if this is wrong? I don’t know how to do this.” “This isn’t right.” This time Mike will be direct how he feels about HIMSELF, but Will would still be hurt because this is the same guy that made him feel better for being Gay…

If this is how the fight plays out, lord hold me because I won’t survive it😭😭😭

[symphonic-scream]

There's an au I never posted about here, j don't think. But I wanna talk about it I guess?

A little bit at least

Persona 5 but Later

It's, like. The main plots for everyone's characters are the "same" but later. Like, they're about 19-22.

I have my notes for them all but on hand I just wanted to talk about (predictably) Makoto and Haru

Makoto, she's a cop. Beaten down by the system, looks tired at all times. The others enter her life and she tries to take them down, and Joker, reminds her of her old dreams. Her wishes to be just and do right, and after getting her Persona, she quits. Drops all contact with her sister, and moves into a little shitbox apartment with her savings, getting a job through Ryuji at this garage

Now, Haru's 21, married. To that asshole Sugimura, and has given him a son. But, their second is a daughter, and Haru is terrified of what life her daughter will have. Her father is long gone by now, and instead of his palace, it's Sugimura's. She gets her divorce, and ends up staying with Makoto, in that little shitbox, with her 4 year old son, and newborn daughter

And this is the part I want to talk about cause surprise! Scream made it gay

Haru moves in, exhausted, and Makoto turns her "study" into a room for little Tenji Okumura, gets a bassinet for little Hanako put in the master, and offers her bedroom up for Haru. Makoto, always overly self-sacrificing, plans to sleep on the couch

They share the bed. Makoto clears all the alcohol out of the apartment. She's been drinking less since quitting, but this is a big motivator for her. And to quit smoking. She's got so many bad habits, and she's breaking them little by little, but these kids, who aren't even hers, she just- she can't let herself do anything to bring them harm

And Haru and Makoto, they kiss once, just after the palace. Makoto makes it very clear she's not well enough to be a good partner for Haru, and she deserves better. Haru, she doesn't want that right now. She simply, was reacting to feelings, and they talk, and continue sharing a bed and living together, and raising Haru's kids, but they're not together together

In weak moments they'll slip and kiss, but. They're both not emotionally ready for anything, and both respect that. They grow closer as friends, grow to understand each other better than themselves

They would only get together in this AU's "strikers", a year and a half after the plot. They'd both be settled into their new jobs and Makoto would be 100% done with smoking and drinking, and Haru's divorce is finalized, and they've just moved into a new apartment where there's enough rooms for them to not share,

And yet,

They have a queen bed. With a quilt they found together at a second hand store, shopping for things for Tenji and Hanako's rooms. They've always been physically affectionate, though platonic, but slowly, it grows. Warmer, more tender, with whispered hints of silent feelings. They both know, but are too afraid to risk losing it all, after they've just gotten their "happy ending"

Sojiro watches the kids for them, and Haru swoons as Makoto calls him nightly to check on them, and say goodnight. Haru remembers her ex, and how he wouldn't even hold his son, the child he wanted. And here's this selfless woman, who cares so much for them, and, for her

It all comes to a head after that jail with the political lady. And, not much changes. They're still great friends, just. Makoto presses kisses to Haru's cheeks and hairline as she brings her their morning coffees. Haru gets to put every emotion into her "I love you"s, and

She cries when she calls to tell Tenji and Hanako, and Tenji, all confused, mentions that he thought Makoto was his other momma the whole time

They're not completely healed from their mistakes and their youth. Maybe Makoto will wake up some nights screaming and thrashing, remembering the horrible things she's done, years later. Maybe Haru will dissociate in the kitchen, barely blinking out of it as her son tugs at her pant leg, concerned

But, they have the others, and each other. And, that's a whole lot better than where they were before

(someone please please be interested in this PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY JOTES JUST ASK AND ILL SPOUT MORE)

[bengiyo]

La Pluie Ep 10 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we wrapped up our time on the mountain and showed Nara more grace than I've ever seen an ex receive in any drama ever. Lomfon lurked in the background, and had a conversation with Patts that is going to blow up this week. Tai and Patts realized that they were the pen pals from when Tai's parents divorced when they went to recover Duer from Saengnuea. Through the power of grandma, these two have been connected for longer than we even realized. I'm obsessed.

Tai asked to stay over and my man Patts had to stop the car!! Now he's rushing through the streets!!!

Love that they're being very clear about what's about to go down.

"I am ready."

It's his first time!!! I knew it!!

We got all three scenes! The bed! The shower! The tub!

What is going on with Lomfon's symptoms?

Tien dresses like an early 00s lesbian.

THE PINKY TOUCH STILL BELONGS TO THE GAYS!!!

Here Lomfon go being as messy as possible.

Tai is finally recognizing Lomfon's crush.

Title is so pretty like whoa

Oh, no.... Tai just lied about hanging out with Lomfon.

Goddammit. Did the weather predict rain and that's why Lomfon wanted Sunday?

Welp, the vets have spotted them. It's over now.

Oh, Patts. I get the anxiety you're feeling.

No, Tai! Not more lies!

Oh boy. Patts and Tien team up time.

Fuck, it's about to rain.

Tai saved Lomfon's big ass from getting run over by a car.

Okay, so Lomfon can speak to Tai. Were we correct about being connected to Patts too?

Bro, don't just kiss him!

Okay, but this ass whooping is deserved.

It seems like the rain connection just broke.

Oh man. I'm going to need Tai to speak up this time. Patts has a right to be uncertain after you leaving that man on read for two years and then lying to him.

Poor Tien. Lomfon completely ignored Tien's feelings.

So, it seems clear to me that Tai's parents may have somehow also severed their connection.

The whole squad in crisis!

I feel for Patts on Tai's silence. I don't think it's fair to expect him to understand when he's never given insights in the first place.

Oh mirroring the parents divorce scene with Patts on the other side of the door is devastating.

We're finally getting back to the parents next week!

Absolutely phenomenal episode. Patts was finally allowed to be frustrated about the leash Tai has kept him on for two years. Lomfon got decked. We got to finally see them release the sexual tension. Everyone's feelings are in the open. The rain connection has a component of choice in it as well. Incredible.

I think the breakup is necessary, because they're both screwing up.

[kennyomegasweave]

Clyde's Thoughts On The Only Friends Mains After Episode 8:

This is entirely on vibes cause I miss when we were all just so excited to have Messy Gays: The Series.

Boston: Him drinking alone at the bar while sadly looking at pictures of him and Nick? Hilarious from a self proclaimed man with no feelings or attachments. Basically going "fuck it, why not?" when he realized Cheum's baby brother wants to smash? You can't blame a hoe for doing what hoes do. He very clearly doesn't want Top's dick anymore, making all his earlier actions even more insane because he was an entire circus trying to get a repeat performance, finally got it, got called a pathetic mistake the next day, and just said alright and moved on. Did he dress up like Tyler Durden, Peter Quill, or just a hot dude wearing a red leather jacket? The world may never know.

Nick: He really did bug Boston's car and just sat on that audio listening to it for his own humiliation and/or degradation and/or cuck kink. At no point did he have a plan for that audio except for his own personal use to cause a smad boner. Him and Boston really deserve each other cause they both make insanely stupid decisions for no reason except boyish whimsy (fucking your friend's man, outright antagonizing every single one of your friends and then being like “fine I’m a pariah”, illegal voyeurism, wanting your not man man to not hate you but telling his ex friend and new found enemy about where to find illegal filmed revenge porn of him). His new boss 100% wants to explore his body and he has no idea. I predict struggles in his future because of that when all he deserves are snuggles. And make no mistake, he deserves snuggles despite being a weird little voyeur. Is it illegal for a boy to have INTERESTS and HOBBIES? I didn't think so.

Sand: GET ON UP OUT OF THOSE TRENCHES BROTHER. As I've said for eight straight episodes, Jesus be some self esteem for Sand. Because GET OFF YOUR KNEES GIRL RISE UP OFF THAT GROUND. But bless him, he did try more in episode 8 than he's tried the previous seven. I'm not even upset that's only trying cause he thinks Ray loves Mew and he's sad about that and not because he thinks Ray sucks even a little bit. So I award him 50 points for finally telling Ray to fuck off, but still deduct 100 for almost getting himself arrested trying to save Ray from his own stupid self centered actions. I want him to lay on his bed and listen to New Rules on repeat until he internalizes it, lives, and breathes it. Because you know he's only calling cause he's drunk and alone. Sadly, he's a textbook "behind every bad bitch is an ain't shit man dragging her down while she’s Ariel screaming DADDY I LOVE HIM." He and Nick making a bestie pinky promise that they're both done with those flop boys, but then both still being at the party, tells us all they've both already lost. We’ve all been there and you hate to see it.

Top: I am standing before you all today as a noted Top Hater since episode one to tell you I really did mostly hate this young man solely cause he dresses like a 48 year old uncle. I'm a weak shallow individual and I've never claimed to be otherwise. But baby he put those polos AWAY in episode 8 and looked hella good. Him in that Top Gun flight suit? I am looking disrespectfully, carnally, and like a whore. I see why Boston was desperate to bounce on that dick again, I see why Mew's just dissociating with booze and coke. I see the vision. Call me Rapunzel because at last I see the light.

Mew: It's sad watching him be utterly devastated over Top and his polos because he got played, in a way, by a 22 year old wearing polo shirts buttoned up to the top and tucked into dress pants. I know that stings, because how could it not. But he's a drunken woo girl and I’ll always go up for any and all characters that get white girl wasted. I appreciate how much he just doesn't see it for his bestie Ray in any romantic or sexual way at all. I also appreciate how he's just not cut out for the slut life. There's nothing wrong with slutting it up, I was a prolific slut in my heyday, but there's also nothing wrong with not being cut out for it either. He needs to stop getting blackout drunk and doing lines and just meet Top's mom to tell her her son sucks.

Ray: He’s on my shit list right now and I make zero apologies. But he has beautiful big cow eyes. I just really need to see him fucking wrecked because Khao is, imo, by far the best actor on this show where I don't think anyone is bad. And as previously mentioned, I am a weak shallow individual and if you give me a cute short king with how now brown cow eyes crying at rock bottom? Well I'm gonna cuddle him to my bosom. So I have nothing good to say right now, but I hope to cuddle him to my bosom in episode 11. 

I forgot how much fun this show is. I was too connected to tumblr, but now I'm letting the mess flow through me and I'm living. Thank you and god bless.

[livvyofthelake]

post season 1 lost character rankings <3 post is about to be long as fuck btw. heart

jack… i’m such a jack girl sorry for being predictable but he’s exactly my type of character… he has a hero complex and big brown eyes filled with tears he can’t save everyone but he has to try…

kate of course!!! blueprint for emma swan in many ways…. the coolest girl on lost island… her cunty 2000s layered tank tops and low rise bootcut jeans in exodus went crazy also but that is neither here nor there i just didn’t get a chance to mention it before. anyway. literally you always wanna run away katie!!!

sayid <3 THE it girl of lost island. he’s like if The Smart One was a heartthrob. you knowwww i’ve always been a sayid girl (ok yes naveen andrews was in ouat but my love for sayid is only like. 40% coming from that loyalty ok) he’s so. he’s the tech guy he’s the soldier he’s leading hikes he’s triangulating the signal he’s sooo kind he’s obsessed with the worst woman on the island he’s literally besties with kate he looks SO GOOD in his tank tops and i love him…

claire and YES i will acknowledge my emilie de ravin bias. it doesn’t matter what claire as a character is like, that’s my friend belle from the tv from middle school, we were in the trenches together, i love her always, claire makes the top five and that’s FINAL. peace and love <3 also she’s like basically mary from the bible for real

sun… she’s just cool and nice and lovely and her husband suckssss but she loves him and wants him to love her like he used to and she’s growing a garden and helping jack with medicinal stuff and everybody likes her cuz she’s just cool and nice!!!

shannon. and i ask you. did she really do anything wrong? don’t answer that. i’m a feminist. she’s like. there is flop in her slay eras and slay in her flop eras. and she’s soooo sad right now and she needs to keep all of her brother’s things because she doesn’t know how to exist in the world without him and she’s folding his old clothes because she’s anal and she speaks french but only barely because she knew this guy and she wants to help but she’s been a princess her whole life and she doesn’t know how to change but she has to and she’s maybe overcommitted to her zigzag hair part because she thinks beauty is her only currency and now she’s taking care of this kid’s dog because he picked her because he thought it would help her and she won’t say it but she loves these people so much and she doesn’t know how to show it and she doesn’t know what she’s doing and she doesn’t know how to carry it all!!!!!!!! i’m normal about her.

charlie has consistently been a favorite of mine but i’m just anticipating the inevitable season 2 heroin relapse storyline and i hateeeee it. but i do love charlie <3 i like how he has this insane devotion to claire for no reason other than he just wants to be nice and help her. he’s just a lovely guy…

walt and his cute little kid swagggg. his henry mills realness seriously. he’s about to be like. severely written out rip but we LOVED him here <3 when he gave his dog to shannon…. oh my god….

boone gets to not be near the bottom even though he was a total freak because well. no one else gave me joke material like him… he fucked that old man fr…. and then he died… and frankly those episodes on his death and leading up to it were so crazy i can’t not just forgive him for the freak shit. sorry for being an apologist for the guy who was in love with his sister. i mean be real though i’m a cassie girl i’m predisposed to forgive worse shit like that. maybe he only projected love onto her because she’s the only woman he knows. and he’s gay. idk. it doesn’t matter anyway who cares

jin. i actually kind of like jin now i like his dynamic with michael a lot and i think in season two he’ll get over the whole oh boohoo poor me i got roped into the mafia and i can’t tell my wife even though it would be good for our relationship to not have secrets. i forgive him. i hope michael or someone else tries to learn korean to better communicate with him though i don’t just want it to be jin having to learn english. like don’t act like michael wouldn’t try at least…

which of course brings us to michael. i like michael but he’s also kind of just not as interesting as the other characters. i imagine though that the 2004 writers room was overwhelmingly white and therefore just did not do as well writing the characters of color, so i’ll grant michael that forgiveness. i do like him i think the situation with walt is crazytown

hurley. not even my ouat bias could save hurley from being third to last. i don’t have a problem with him it’s just. he’s the comedic relief yk. and he IS funny, but like. idk. kinda like what’s going on with him and the numbers i hope that gets cool in s2

locke. booooo locke. an enemy of jack’s is an enemy of mine!! we’re gonna have a locke problem!! also i’m literally still upset about how he handled the boone situation. imagine you have trauma from your dad hurting you to help himself and then you meet a younger guy who looks up to you as a sort of father/mentor figure and you end up hurting him to help yourself and you have zero self awareness about it. kill yourself old man. your ass is not breaking the cycle.

sawyer. just. ….😒 remember when shannon was having an asthma attack and could have died and sawyer made it seem like he had her inhaler and told kate he’d give it to her if she kissed him. which is already icky. and then kate did it. and then he was like oh yeah btw i don’t have the inhaler haha! like. can you kill yourself.

and if i were asked to name my favorite episodes of the season? well most recently i loved do no harm, but all jack’s episodes were great to me so also white rabbit and all the best cowboys have daddy issues. and deus ex machina was crazy as well. and the moth. and exodus part one specifically but all three parts were pretty great too. born to run was also good! and can i be frank. can i say something we might not like. hearts and minds was a great episode… yes it’s the incest episode i know i was there… but speaking from a standpoint of like. what makes a tv episode a Good TV Episode, it kinda went crazy. i mean did we see the twist coming? for sure not! that’s tv! sometimes the point of tv is to make you go 😟 and well. hearts and minds did that…

[rose-lalondde]

Naruto Fic Recs Friday

Unsent Letters

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: G

Summary:

Gai finds a box of letters with his name on them when he's going through a neglected closet.

Comments: Actual old men in love and it made me weep. Big win fpr kakagai fans.

Twitch Streamer Yuji and Youtuber Megumi

Chapters: 7/?

Rating: G

Summary:

Yuuji is a famous Twitch streamer who does streams from his college dorm. Among his fanbase, his huge crush on a random book reviewer on youtube has become a running joke. The fanbase decides to make it their mission to discover who Yuuji's mystery crush is.

Megumi has a very small book reviewing channel on Youtube he started in high school. He doesn't even know what Twitch is, but Nobara keeps insisting he needs to help her find this random Twitch Streamer's secret crush. Her reasoning: the secret crush does youtube and reviews books.

Comments: As you will find I'm such a sucker for modern aus and this one is really cute! Megumi being a booktuber & its so sweet to see them fall for each other just through their channels.

Ain't That A Kick in The Head

Chapters: 27/?

Rating: M

Summary:

He really, really doesn’t want to think about what it’ll mean to be a double agent. What it’ll really mean. How he’ll have to act. How he’ll have to lie for the sake of his revenge, how he’ll have to reforge severed bonds. And it’ll all be fake. Is a false bond better than not having that bond at all?

Sasuke feels haunted by Itachi's death. Literally.

During their fight, his brother placed a seal with the remainder of his chakra on him as a protective measure so he could watch him from the grave. Itachi, however, did not realize that his actions would change everything... by being able to assist his brother with getting his revenge against Danzo.

This is the story of how one unhinged outlaw, along with the ghost of his dead brother, infiltrates a village to flush out the corruption within and faces those who he left behind. Including but not limited to: old teammates, classmates, and the guy he has feelings for that he keeps repressing.

Maybe they'll even save the world and have a proper conversation.

Comments: Itachi is so funny, literally causing drama from beyond the grave. It's naruto if it was a romcom, and its hilarious & very gay. Also I love sasuke in this fic <3

Redemption In A Worthy World

Chapters: 69/?

Rating: M

Summary:

Sasuke Uchiha has returned to the Konoha of his youth missing an eye and questioning everything. While knowing what's to come is an incredible advantage, his very existence starts a domino chain of events no one could predict. With both the Akatsuki and Danzo interested in a new Uchiha, Sasuke will have to fight to keep those he loves safe in the cloak-and-dagger world of the shinobi. Except things are changing before he's even woken up, his younger self is just as stubborn as he is, and he's going to have to learn how to parent all over again.

Comments: LISTEN LISTEN ik it says 69 chapters it's so worth it, especially if you love sasuke or fix-it fics or time travel or worldbuilding and lore. If you like learning about the Uzumaki clan and always wanted that to be explored go ahead and open it up. It's in my top 3 fics of all time, that's how serious this is. I will say that it's rated M for a reason, which is that the violence is very intense and a bit gory & in chapter 66 there's a sex scene, but you can skip it if you want. It's definitely emotionally heavy and, I'm not even gonna lie, it's a really long read. Personally, I don't care for the aliens, BUT they do their part & the writer makes them interesting, they're also not as prominent in the story as you keep reading.

The "Five Years" Game

Chapters: 21/21 - Completed

Rating: T

Summary:

Things have finally calmed down to business as usual—as much as business is ever usual, for the Ouran High School Host Club—and Kaoru is feeling some tried and true Hitachiin-brand boredom. Seeing this, Kyoya issues an intriguing challenge: he plans on winning a certain game in exactly five years. If Kaoru wants to beat him, all he has to do is figure out the goal of the game before Kyoya wins it.

As if a tried and true Hitachiin could turn down a challenge like that.

Let the “Five Years” game begin!

Comments: I feel like I should tell you that my only bookmark notes on here say "VICTORY!" Anyway, I love it when people write kyoya and know what they're talking about, he's my favorite host club member. I have not been into ohshc for a while and this made me want to get back into it. It's very clever and well-written, had a lot of fun reading this. Definitely cried a bit at the end lol.

Crazy Stupid Love

Chapters: 11/?

Rating: M

Summary:

Mikoto Uchiha and Kushina Uzumaki were more than just friends. What they meant to one another would take a lifetime to express, so they did. The shinobi world is cruel, but it is also very beautiful. Sometimes, you can still find that beauty on a battlefield or on a lazy Sunday morning.

A companion piece to Redemption in a Worthy World, but can be read separately.

Comments: It felt wrong to not include this when I'm recommending Redemption too. It's so beautifully written but it's so dark and tragic, but I think about this fic often. It's also good for providing background info on some things that happen in Redemption but they're both standalone fics.

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[gayshipsandanxiety]

volume 2 thoughts

ok so. byler never had to become canon in season 4. yes it would have been nice and probably would have been the better choice if they do ever end up going canon but it’s not queerbait just because they didn’t go canon in season 4.

but the way they handled will’s storyline in volume 2 makes me fucking sick. even if byler never went canon and will was another robin, is that seriously how they’re going to treat their queer characters? will giving mike pep talks about el and taking a backseat whenever mike and el are onscreen? if they make that whole-ass “you can tell me anything” scene and then don’t have will ever come out i’m quitting the show.

they’ve built up byler sooooo much over the past years, not only in the show but also in interviews and on social media. the fact that we’re still dealing with this in 2022 is fucking sickening and i’ve honestly lost all confidence that byler will become canon because of the fucking finale. “will and mike have a moment of mutual understanding and acceptance” WHERE??? WHERRRRRE IS THAT MOMENT? when will says “el will love you” and then cries? when el and mike kiss and will stares sadly at them from the kitchen??

and then they make that ONE SINGULAR robin/vickie scene at the end like “ohhhh look at us we support gay people! there are lesbians, look at them! one of them doesn’t even impact the plot but they’re there!”

fuck you fuck you fuck you

mike’s entire storyline this season culminating in him saying “ily” to el makes me want to throw up and also why did they lowkey make his love confession scene parallel his “you said yes” scene? like there was literally no reason to do that.

and eddie??? why did they kill eddie off Like That? it was so predictable and they literally showed it in the fucking trailer? they’re obviously trying to pull some “oh look he didn’t run away! he actually WAS a hero! but so sad he didn’t get to graduate!! this was supposed to be his year :(((” but that’s literally what all the eddie fans were saying this past month so why did they give him this cookie-cutter ass death? if they were gonna kill him off they could have had him sacrifice himself to save an actual person, instead of just dying alone covered in bats. and why were dustin and wayne the only ones to react to eddie’s death? steve nancy robin mike and erica all knew eddie really well. even max and lucas were on good terms with him. i get that they couldn’t show a funeral or anything because hawkins fuckin hates eddie, but they could have had a dustin-and-wayne scene for the entire group.

fuck stancy. it doesn’t matter if you think they’re cute or not all this “will they won’t they” is dumb as shit and it’s not fair to jonathan, nancy, or steve. either get them together or have them stay just friends but what they are now is fucking annoying.

russia gang was cute i liked the jopper scenes. but it feels like they took up so much unnecessary screentime?

oh and another byler thing why tf did they do that with the painting?? it didn’t have to be will and mike making out or anything but the fact that will’s gesture of love to mike ended up propping up milkvan is just cruel.

max and lucas were neat is was fun to finally see jason get his ass handed to him but wtf is up with max? it’s kinda repetitive to make her almost die twice like that. again, just kill her and get it over with or keep her alive. i truly don’t have the energy to “wait and see” if she’ll live.

all in all i LOVED volume 1. it was fun, it was scary, it was everything i wanted in a tv show and made me excited for volume 2. but volume 2 was a HUGE letdown. there were some good moments like the gang stealing the camper, the will/el hug, and hopper reuiniting with el, but other than that i kinda hated it. it felt heavy on useless running around and fighting but lacked any real character depth, and the way they handled will’s storyline was fucking cruel. i kept sitting there thinking “okay they’ve just laid the groundwork for an amazing scene, i just have to be patient enough and wait for the show to get good.” and then it never did.

i commented in the tags of somebody else’s post a few days ago that whenever we get queer representation, it’s either a stereotyped queer in a show for cishets or a well-written queer in a show for queer people. stranger things had the chance to do both, to write a story about 2 gay childhood best friends falling in love. and they fucking didn’t. i was naive for expecting good representation, and i guess from now on i’ll only watch shows if i know how the queer characters end up because i’m telling you right now i CANNOT deal with another 2 years of will’s sexuality being “left up to interpretation” and then getting a season where he kinda just hangs out and cries and never confirms anything. i fucking hate it here.

fuck netflix, fuck the duffers, fuck every single one of the cast members who teased byler in season 4, and fuck all of the social-media managers posting about byler. i fucking hate all of you.

[leandra-kinard]

So I thought I’d make a post with my predictions for the next 3 episodes (some of which may have been influenced by others - I never know if I thought something independently of others who had the same thought, lol). 

I’m gonna add a percentage of how convinced I am that this is happening

May Day: 

We get a moment where Eddie worries for Buck’s safety at last. - 80%

Eddie actually saves Buck/reaches for him and helps him out. - 75%

Buck and Eddie hug - 50%

Eddie (with or without Buck) ends up saving Bobby, which ultimately proves that he’s ready to come back to the team - 35%

Hero Complex: 

It is revealed through a flashback 30% or a conversation 70% (with Eddie’s sister 40%, Eddie’s father 35%, Eddie’s mother 15%, Pepa 10%) that Eddie had a very close friendship with a boy in his teens, and that this friendship was a bit more than just friendship to Eddie. - 65%

If the above is true, it is also revealed that Ramon’s comments and/or behavior (which wasn’t aggressively homophobic but indirectly so) influenced Eddie feeling ashamed for it and not pursuing it, pushing these feelings down far into adulthood. - 90% 

Eddie decides he no longer wants to hide who he is - 90%

Eddie also talks about how, even though he loved Shannon, he didn’t love her the right way and shouldn’t have married her. - 90%

Jonah is revealed to have meddled with several patients to play the hero and save the day. - 99% 

Jonah is responsible for the Dispatch Fire. - 30%

Starting Over:

Eddie comes out to May very directly. - 50%

Eddie comes out to May indirectly (meaning he doesn’t say he’s ‘label XY/in love with Buck’ but that he thinks he finally figured out who he wants to be, and then looks at Buck in a way that tells May what he means, or something of the sort). - 65%

The wedding is Toni/Clive - 50%

The wedding is Madney - 25%

The wedding is Buck/Taylor, but Buck doesn’t go through with it because Eddie asks him if this is really what he wants; it’s a call-back to Buck making Eddie see sense about Ana and comes full circle. - 20%

The wedding isn’t a wedding but the Henren vow renewal. - 5% (Sorry, but I’m just not buying it)

Whether it is their wedding or not, Buck breaks up with Taylor. - 99.9%

If it wasn’t their wedding, Eddie still is the one who finally makes Buck realize he isn’t clinging to the relationship because he wants to, but because he’s afraid of being left again. Again, a full circle come back to the Eddie/Ana breakup. - 75%

If it’s not the BT wedding, then Buck, Eddie and Chris are dancing together (no Buddie slow dance, I’m sorry, but I don’t see that happening). - 40%

Buck moves in with Eddie and leaves the loft to Taylor. - 45%

Taylor moves away (which would be her decision about her future). - 55%

The show ends on a note that a) establishes that Eddie is either gay (80%) or bi (10%) or doesn’t label it but is into men (10%) - and b) that he is going to pursue Buck eventually, after Buck has had some time to re-adjust after the breakup. - 85%

I might add to this later. But so far, those are my predictions. 

[just-a-dumb-gay]

Lizzie is gonna be the one to get Hopes humanity back on! I'm placing my bet now! And this scene has A Lot to do with it!

Now this is not a theory/prediction, This is just my brain being gay for no other reason than I can so I will and they have me in too tight of a chokehold. And this is going with the theory Lizzie is sire bonded because she's in love with Hope because based on TVD rules it makes the most sense.

By now I'm sure we're all familiar with the theory Hope commands Lizzie to kill her and Lizzie is trying to resist!

So!! Something triggers Hope's humanity to come back on, or at least a couple emotions. One being guilt. And a lot of it.

And because of that regret, she tells Lizzie to kill her. Maybe bringing up the fact she deserves it because as far as they're aware Alaric is pretty much dead so Lizzie should be allowed revenge.

Lizzie of course then tries to resist. Hope gets angry, like the pained type of angry. Telling Lizzie to just do it. And then the clip in the trailer. Lizzie begs Hope to stop because she doesn't want to kill her. Mayhaps:

Lizzie: Please don't make me do this. I don't want to do this!

Hope, angrily: Why?! I deserve it! *lists all the bad things she's done*

Lizzie: >something about that being because her emotions were off and it not being the real Hope<

Hope, much quieter: I killed you. Why are you defending me?

AND THEN THATS WHEN IT HAPPENS! A proper love confession from Lizzie. Not like "I hate you for making me love you", just a straight up "Because I Love You!"

And that's why Hope looks all soft (the screenshot above) and Lizzie is about to cry (the clip, which I don't have saved but I'm sure we've all seen) and finally Hope tells her she can stop, that she doesn't have to kill her.

Lizzie throws whatever she's holding across the room, just wanting it as far away from her as possible, and just falls to her knees and cries.

Hope is stunned, too much to speak. But gets down on the floor in front of Lizzie and hugs her.

And idk after that. Do they talk it out? Do they kiss? Idk but I'd be happy with anything!

My brain is doing A LOT based around this tiny 2 second clip I'm probably gonna post more...

[standingappablog]

My predictions/ things I’d like to see:

-I feel like Ava is going to be different from all of the previous warrior nuns. Perhaps the halo was working it’s way over hundreds of years just to get to Ava. It’s already been said that Ava has done things that is rare/ or never been done before by any other warrior nun (like levitating). She is obviously apart of some sort of prophecy.

-Also ava being brought back/resurrected somewhat parallels Jesus doing the same. not saying she is Jesus reborn but it’s something to think about. Perhaps this will reflect Avas importance as the warrior nun/strength.

-I think Ava may end up going to the same place Micheal went to, they are obviously connected somehow, he may play a part in Avas story/prophecy. Maybe Ava is the one to rescue both Jillian and Micheal. Jillian seems like she could be a big help in defeating Adriel. Also is the place Micheal and Jillian went to where Lilith went after being killed by the tarask?

-I’m not entirely sure where the girls stand with the OCS, Duretti may not accept them back, even though he didn’t kill sister Shannon he still has displayed some troubling actions as a leader. (Accepting in nuns who where previously deemed unfit to be in the OCS, trying to recruit/use Beatrice for his bidding and sending Lilith to kill Ava) So right now I’m guessing the girls will be on the run from Duretti, father Vincent and Adriel.

-I’d like to know more about Ava’s past, it doesn’t need to take up a tonne of screen time. Maybe it comes up in conversation with Beatrice or Mary, or perhaps a flashback.

-I’d also love to know more about Beatrices past. How she got to the OCS, why she was sent away. It probably has something to do with her being gay. It was also mentioned her parents where kinda crappy.

-Along with Beatrice’s past it’s the rumoured that the writers are going to explore a queer romance between Ava and Beatrice. If it is actually happening, I really hope it’s done well, with decent pacing and avoid typical tropes etc. (Hopefully it’ll be a nice slowburn) It’s also a great opportunity to have Ava as another canon queer main character, which there is so few of. Although along with this is the risk that Netflix may cancel it, as they have done previously with countless other diverse tv shows.

-I adore Mary and Avas friendship, the bond the two share is almost sisterly. I’d love for them to become best friends, seems like Mary really needs it.

-I know we have seen some bts of Alba’s stunt double doing some combat training, so im very excited to see Ava finally kick ass. Seeing her use phasing during a fight would be incredibly cool along with her devinuim sword. Ava seems to retain some of her training from the beginning of season one, and when she does use it, it’s executed great and looks really cool. We know the halo enhances her senses more than regular humans, so I feel like it won’t take her long to pick up on basic combat. Though I don’t want her to be unbeatable from the get go, I wanna see her mess up and learn from her mistakes, it’s one of the things I love about Ava, she makes mistakes like any other immature teenager would

-I would really like to see more of camilla, I feel like we got to see so little of her in season 1.

-One thing I’m hoping for at the very beginning of season 2 is Ava emitting that powerful blast. Maybe to save Mary or create a pathway for escape for the rest of the girls.

-Lastly, I really enjoy character driven stories as opposed to constant action. So I’m hoping for one on one scenes with the girls just getting to know each other. A lot of conversations that’ll strengthen their relationships and make them feel like very rounded and developed characters.

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

What will be in my bag? Pre-ordered Manga. Straight and Lez edition.

Here’s a list of English-released manga I’ve currently got on pre-order, and manga series I ordered before but won’t be continuing with the series.

As a note: Some of these titles have been released but I have not received them yet due to a issues with covid backlog effected how things are released.  I personally find that if you pre-order it tends to get you manga quicker.  It seems there is more pressure to keep up with the new release schedule than chip away at the backlog.

I’m starting with the stuff I’ve already read some of and confirmed enjoyment, then stuff I’m shooting in the dark for, and finally series I have tried recently and have discontinued.

Heteros

My Androgynous Boyfriend

Story & Art by: Tamekou      Publisher: Seven Seas

It is rare for straight shit to end up in my library but My Androgynous boyfriend is an exception that will surprise no-one since it’s pretty queer adjacent.  This story is mostly a couple being lovey-dovey between jokes about sexuality and gender but (so far) isn’t problematic at all.  The female lead is quite enjoyable as she’s well-balanced and has agency throughout. There’s even ace representation! It’s very low-stakes, wholesome, and sweet so far. (Volume 3 is set to release in November.)

My Excitement Level: The gentle about to sink into a bubble bath variety

Yuri/Lesbian

Even Though We’re Adults

Story & Art by: Takako Shimura  Publisher: Seven Seas

Takako is also the creator of Sweet Blue Flowers and Wandering son.  I have dipped by toe in to both those series.  I overall find their writing kinda meandering and tepid (might just be me) but technically pretty solid.  I am hopeful for this series since it features adults....if the title didn’t make it obvious.  I was intrigued by the one character being married but the man finding out about the affair quickly and reacting more realistically and interestingly than the average male love interest in a Yuri.  I also found myself relating at bit to Akari’s angst about being unlucky with relationships with women.  I also do enjoy the artwork! This one is the most likely of my followed series to be dropped at some point. (Volume 2 of this manga was set to release in June this year.)

My Excitement Level: Cautious Optimism

For more click the jump!

Kase-san and Yamada

Story & Art by: Hiromi Takashima  Publisher: Seven Seas

This is a series I keep going back to.  While it is the very typical low-stakes bubbly, cutesy School age Yuri...it is a very good version of that.  Just warm bubble bath vibes. (Volume 7 is set to release in February of next year.  I think it was originally supposed to be released this May but was bumped back.)

My Excitement Level: The gentle about to sink into a bubble bath variety

NOW ONTO THE SERIES I HAVEN’T READ BUT I’M TAKING A CHANCE ON!

Adachi and Shimaura

Art: Moke Yuzuhara Story: Hitoma Iruma  Publisher: Yen Press

This, as I understand it, is a slow-burn romance about two delinquent girls.  I have heard good things about the novel and the anime series!  However I prefer manga to novels and don’t have a funimation account so I went to snag it in manga form. (Volume 1 was set to release in February this year and 2 in September)

My Excitement Level: Cautious Optimism

The Girl I want is so handsome!

Story & Art by:Yuama     Publisher: Seven Seas

The premise is a young lady has a crush on a handsome older girl who’s oblivious to her advances.  When she tries to confess she instead gets roped into being the club manager of the basketball team that her crush is a part of.  So it feels like it may end up cycling through 2 jokes and be so deep in the stereotypical manga bullshit you can easily-predict its beats volumes in advance. HOWEVER that is also a premise that is similar to Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun which is legitimately a hilarious series. Also I fucking love butch/stud/masc-presenting women/AFAB people.  So I’m willing to risk “The same Anime bullshit” for good jokes and a cute lezzy romance with a beautiful butch.  (Volume 1 is set to release of December of this year.)

My Excitement Level: Pretty nervous actually.  I hope it works out!

Monologue Woven for You

Story & Art by: Syu Yasaka     Publisher: Seven Seas

A woman gives up on a career in theater gets tangled in a relationship with a woman passionately pursuing theater.  Since it is set between college age women, and appears to be about more personal and mature themes I am interested. (Volume 1 I BELIEVE is supposed to be released in February of next year.)

My Excitement Level: Cautious Optimism

Mizuno and Chayama (No page yet so far as I can tell.)

Story & Art by: Yuhta Nishio     Publisher: Yen Press

Two daughters of feuding families meet in secret.  This is by the same author of After Hours.  I read a bit of After Hours and found it fine but boring since it seemed without conflict.  Conflict doesn’t seem to be in short supply with a story like this!  While I enjoy the sugary-sweet high school lesbian romances...those are not in short-supply. So I am always hungry for something darker, meatier, more mature. (Volume 1 is set to release next February) 

My Excitement Level: Cautious Optimism

5 Seconds Before The Witch Falls In Love

Story & Art by:  Zeniko Sumiya     Publisher: Seven Seas

It appears to be a playful fantasy about a Witch and Witch-hunter who’s antagonism turns romantic.  This may end up one note and stupid...but I’m always hear for queer romances set in high-fantasy and I haven’t read a Yuri where rivals turns to lovers. (Volume 1 is set to release next February)  

My Excitement Level: Low-key

Catch These Hands! (No page yet so far as I can tell.)

Story & Art by: Murata     Publisher: Yen Press 

A former delinquent runs into her high school rival.  After losing a fight to her she agrees to her terms...her terms being to go out on a date with her.  I mean the title alone makes me want to pick it up!  It may run afoul of bad anime humor, but I’m hoping with the fact that it’s full of gay adult delinquents that it’ll be a little different.  (Volume 1 is set to release next February)  

My Excitement Level: Medium-key

Series I have discontinued:

I’m in love with the Villainess

Art by: Aonoshimo  Story by:  Inori   Publisher: Seven Seas

A woman gets reborn into her favorite Otome game but she wants to romance the villiain!  I had heard a ton of great things about the novel but I picked up the manga version. (If the novel is totally different I can’t speak to it.)  For me, the writing is ham-handed, the jokes flop 90% of the time, and the fact the lead’s only personality trait seems to be ~obsessed with a bully~ really dampens this title.  Her advances are so aggressive and unwanted I honestly started feeling bad for a spoiled rich bully.  I will say it’s saving grace is the fact that the lead is masochistically into the villainess’ tsundere abusiveness. For me I hate tsundere romances if framed like, “I like you DESPITE your insults.” It is only tolerable if it’s instead, “I like you cause you tell it like it is. I’m a dirty little pig. Please step on this bad little piggy!”

Our Teachers are Dating

Story & Art by: Pikachi Ohi      Publisher: Seven Seas

Well one reason I stopped the series is that cover you see up there.  The sex in this series is fade to black but FOR SOME REASON the 3rd cover has them both butt naked.  But on a less superficial note, the story is about two teachers who start dating.  And while cute at points, I was just underwhelmed.  I think a part of it, is the fact that this behaves like a stereotypical high school romance...and while set in a high school...these are grown ass women not 15 year olds.  So I have less patience with the, “Gosh when will I get to kiss my girlfriend?” bullshit.  I mean, I would hesitate to call it bad...but it’s just not a good version of it’s brand of bullshit.

Breath of Flowers

Story & Art by: Caly                       Publisher: Tokyopop

Absolute train-wreck, this is hands down the worst Yuri I have ever bought.  The story is nonsensical and all over the place.  There is a love rival who’s trying to break the two of them up so she can get with Gwyn...but then switches mid-gear to put in a lot of effort to bring them together intentionally...but she also still wants to hook up with Gwyn...it’s very ????????????  The main conflict of Gwyn is hiding their gender so they can play basketball on the boy’s team (not well explained) is built up hugely and resolved with a hand flick.  There is a melodramatic moment where a school nurse says more or less, “GIVE IT UP YOU’LL NEVER BE A BOY!” And it’s like “OH SHIT! The fact that Gwyn is on the basketball team is cause he’s a transboy trying to live life as a boy! Oh gosh it makes so much more sense now!”  But the author seems to not even know that trans people exist cause the story bumbles along as if that scene never happened.  The closest we get is at the end Gwyn is like, “Look I’m learning to do make-up on myself to make you happy lawl!” Which is I GUESS supposed to be, “NO NO DON’T WORRY ALL OF GWYN’S GENDER STUFF WAS JUST THERE TO MAKE THE MAIN CHARACTER SEXUALLY CONFUSED WHEN SHE DISCOVERS GWYN’S TRUE GENDER!  HER TRUE GENDER IS 100% CIS WOMAN CAUSE SHE DID MAKE-UP ONCE! IT’S FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!” Like whaaaaaaaaat?  And it ends on a very random scene which doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the story.  Ugh just very bad do not interact!

A White Rose in Bloom

Story & Art by: Asumiko Nakamura    Publisher: Seven Seas

At an all girls catholic school a young woman falls for a mysterious foreign student.  I grabbed this cause it’s gay and I overall like Asumiko Nakamura’s work (she also does Doukyusei, double mints, and others.)  However I was just not grabbed with this title.  I just felt like I wasn’t getting what was making the MC pants on head obsessed with Steph.  Also the lead’s mother tells her that she’s getting divorced and therefore will no longer have money to pay for the university and she’s framed like a super bad person for this.  Like I get why the MC (a teenager) would think that something like that is THE END OF THE WORLD! But I remember them really framing the mom like a selfish bitch for this...when like...it’s well established that her mom and dad’s relationship has been toxic for YEARS and that they TRIED SO HARD to fix it.  OH WELL!  This might be good but it just didn’t grab me in the 1st volume.

I’ll make a post on the BL titles later! Take care and Stay Rotten!

[ladyloveandjustice]

Belated Spring 2020 Anime Overview: My Next Life as Villainess

For the Spring 2020 anime season, I mostly watched continuations of shows I was already into. The one new show I did pick up was My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! follows Katerina Claes, a spoiled young noble girl deviously scheming to win the heart of a prince- oh wait, never mind, she hit her head and remembered her past life! Turns out she’s an eighteen year old Japanese otaku chick who died and got reincarnated as the villainess in her favorite otome game. 

If you don’t feel like reading the wiki article, an otome game is basically a female- targeted dating sim where you play as a blank slate main character and date a bunch of pretty boys (and sometimes girls, but usually only if you go outside the mainstream ones), unlocking their backstories and collecting all the romantic endings.

Having played this game, Katarina is well aware that the Villainess character- who constantly tries to interfere with the game’s heroine and whichever boy she’s pursuing- is either exiled or killed in all of the games endings. And now she IS that villainess, living in the world of the game and all its characters! Does that mean she’s doomed to a horrible fate? What’s a girl to do?

Well, if you’re Katarina, what you do is be supportive and kind to the people around you and in doing so accidentally get every single character in the game to fall in love with you. And yes, this includes all the boys the heroine is supposed to date, the other female romantic rivals the heroine is faced with and the game’s heroine herself.

That’s right, we finally got us some bisexual romantic comedy hijinx last anime season, my friends! My Next Life as a Villainess was the delightful little show I really escaped into during these anxious pandemic times . All these girls casually falling in love with Katarina without it being treated as ‘weird’ was what particularly drew me to this show and warmed my gay little heart to see. It was honestly the perfect fluffy, low stress watch during these high stress times.

Anime has long been oversaturated with ‘harem’ stories- where a usually unwitting protagonist somehow gets a bevy of beauties in love with them- but it’s still unfortunately really unusual to see bisexual harems, especially ones with a girl at the center, so right away there’s a big draw to this story that helps it stick out from the rest.  (And worry not, the story is largely focused on Katarina having fun with these pals-who-are-not-so-secretly-in-love-with-her, rather than having a ton the dubious shenanigans you see in more sexually charged tales.)

Harem protoganists also famously tend to have the personality of potatoes, being so painfully bland it’s unclear why so many people would fall in love with them in the first place. But that definitely not the case for Katarina. She’s brash, ridiculous, kind and INCREDIBLY dense, and that for a pretty dynamic combination in this setting! She does genuinely come off as a fun person to be around. Unlike a lot of modern isekai shows, she doesn’t stumble into having incredible magic powers or skills, so her compassion is genuinely her greatest strength and what saves the day and wins hearts time and time again.

Katarina’s five brain cells doing their weekly check-in

(The moment she won my heart was when she responded to a tragic Frozen style situation with her friend locking himself away from people because he believed his magic was dangerous by taking an axe to his door. My kinda girl!)

The premise also allows for some plausible built-in reasons for the characters to take such special notice of Katarina- having been raised in a different world, she isn’t beholden to all the social rules, class divisions and noble family drama all the other kids in this very specific midevial-esque fantasy world are so embroiled in. This combined with her naturally earnest, accepting and straightfoward nature means she’s able to cross boundaries and reach out to them in a way they aren’t accustomed to. She was significant in each character’s life because she genuinely was the first to show them acceptance and affection without pretense, if only because she isn’t even aware there was supposed to be a pretense.

Katarina’s focus on trying not to die and her fear she’s going to meet the same fate as the villainess in the game also at least gives some kind of a basis to her comical obliviousness to everyone being in love with her. She assumes that everyone has to be into Maria (the heroine) and terrified of her because that’s how the game GOES okay, that’s CANON! Of course, this logic stretches thin as time goes on and it would be abundantly clear to most people that things have diverged greatly from the game’s storyline, but the show makes it clear that Katarina’s determined, one track mind is as much a gift as a curse. 

Her bullheadedness when it comes to picking up how everyone REALLY feels about her is an intentional gag on the show’s part and even her love interests are well aware of what a colossal dumbass she is and not afraid to point it out!

My Next Life as a Villainess isn’t without its flaws, and the personalities/backstories of some of the ‘love interests’ Katarina gathers may be a stumbling block on some- mostly the male ones.  Geordo, “the black hearted prince” has a bit of the “ possessive shoujo bad boy” archetype about him, and though he’s far from the worst that genre of love interest has to offer (there’s not much bad he can get up to due to Katarina’s obliviousness, the lighthearted nature of the show, and his rivals constantly getting in his way), the way he refuses to break Katarina and his engagement off despite her repeatedly asking him to, as well as some of his lines here and there, are definitely NOT cute. 

Keith is Katarina’s adopted brother, but clearly has a thing for her too. On one hand, they only first met when they were nine and he fell for her pretty immediately. On the other hand, he still refers to her as “sister” constantly which is kinda eesh. 

The other two guys are all right- Nicol’s big thing is he’s inexpressive and doesn’t talk much which, considering show doesn’t spend much time inside his head, doesn’t make him a very interesting character in the ensemble (maybe he comes across better in the novels) but there’s nothing wrong with him. Alan is undoubtedly the Best Boy in my book. He’s another common trope- rambunctious and competitive with Katarina but clearly soft for her- but he’s done well and they have a lot of cute moments together.

I find the girl love interests to be a much more interesting group overall, though this may be my obvious bias talking. Sophia has the strongest connection to Katarina, their backstories being intertwined in a surprising and touching way (I’m told in the novels her affection for Katarina was treated as more platonic, but the anime definitely plays it up as having romantic elements). Maria’s original role as the game’s heroine puts her in the most interesting position (and would make her the most narratively satisfying choice of love interest, if the show was actually interested in choosing). And while Mary is comically tenacious in her pursuit of Katarina, she’s doesn’t ever act ‘sinister’ or overstep boundaries in the way Geordo does, her “scheming” only really amounting to straightforwardly asking if Katarina wants to ditch her fiance and run away with her. 

As I mentioned, one thing that really contributes to My Next Life as a Villainess being a relaxing watch is that the queer characters are treated with casual acceptance. Mary in particular isn’t subtle about her crush on Katarina, but nobody bats an eye at her and she’s completely open and comfortable with herself too. The observing maid notes that the girls are in love with Katarina with the same bland affect as when she notes she notes the guys are. And while the social practices of the nobles are pretty heteronormative- girls are always engaged in arranged marriages to guys, the guys are expected to dance with the girls (something Mary complains about!)- there’s apparently a booming queer romance novel industry that inspires our young wlw.

Katarina, having grown up in a different world, seems to be the one most prone to heteronormativity of her group. She never really considers  that a girl would ever fall in love with her, but is also never hostile to the idea. It’s telling that when Mary very clearly indicates her desired romantic partner would be a girl, Katarina’s the only one that gets tripped up and has to walk back her assumption that Mary would be talking about a guy. 

Mary LAYING DOWN THE LAW

Also, Katarina has  SEVERAL “she’s so cute! My heart is beating faster!” moments with the other girls, on par in frequency with her moments with the guys. This strongly hints she’s an oblivious bisexual disaster.

So, My Next Life as Villainess is a fun, frothy watch and the rare positive example of silly wish-fufillment that’s inclusive to a wlw audience. But is the actual plot good, or remotely complex? The answer to that is no, the plot is fairly predictable and one definitely shouldn’t got into this story expecting a deep examination of the nature of fate or anything like that.There’s no real explanation of big reason as to why why Katarina was reborn into this game world and so on.

 The antagonist that does eventually emerge plays off otome game tropes a bit, but ultimately isn’t that interesting or built up all that well. . The attempts at drama the show makes towards the end fall a little flat, especially since it tends to rely on very-late-in-the-game-exposition-dumps (dark magic isn’t even MENTIONED as existing in this world until like, the second to last episode where it becomes relevant and we get a vague infodump explaining its mechanics). The conflict honestly almost feels shoehorned in and the climax is pretty standard and doesn’t really utilize the big cast of characters all that well

But in the end, that’s okay! The show makes it abundantly clear from the beginning it’s not here to be Deep, but to be some silly fun. And it really fulfills that purpose well, from it’s catchy, peppy theme tune to its consistently warm tone. It MAY get repetitive at times for some, and I do have some quibbles- like how I found the childhood segments to be some of the shows best material and wish we could have stayed in that section for a bit instead of rushing through it, how I wish Katarina had kept her cute little scar, etc- but overall, it was definitely the soothing balm I needed during a very rough time and I absolutely recommend it if you’re looking for a chill, feel-good watch.

 And hey, a second season’s supposed to be on the way too, so there’s something to potentially look forward to!

[melon-kiss]

This is just going to be a ramble about everything Sherlock. You’re most welcome to discuss or just ignore it. I needed the space to vent.

I watched Sherlock. Again. I think it’s beginning to become my annual tradition. And I have a crisis. Don’t get me wrong, I am always Sherlollian at heart. It’s just… I have doubts sometimes. And what triggered those doubts this time was the fact that Sherlock calls Molly “John”. Twice. And then Irene Adler. And then one post on Tumblr. And many, many more.

OK, these are just my random thoughts. Enjoy if you’re willing to read them.

 1. “John”. “Molly”.

We often mix up names of people we consider to have the same place in our lives. Which is good, right? Right. Only, in Sherlock’s case, we’d have lean into the theory that Sherlock does love John romantically and feels the same way about Molly. Or concede the fact that he loves them both platonically. Neither of these options is really satisfying, isn’t it? Well, that’s why I’m struggling… One could say he’s in denial of feelings for Molly and identifies them as friendship, as this is the strongest, purest relationship in his life, the only one he describes as emotional and the closest he’s ever had to love. Besides, Molly and John are similar in one way – they both share the same – medical – knowledge. Of course, Sherlock doesn’t realise her other qualities until The Reichenbach Fall when she says she can help him whenever he needs it. It’s not until she’s honest with him again and tells him, without a shred of grudge, that she knows she means nothing to him, that he realises he has at least two friends. He calls her “John” when his mind is busy with something else, so there’s no room for any purposeful confusion. The same thing happens in The Empty Hearse. What else can it mean if not friendship?

 2. Nothing Hits Like Irene

Irene Adler is created as the love interest for Sherlock. Is she, though? Well, we see Sherlock utterly confused upon their first meeting. We also see him flirting and creating an atmosphere of sexual tension for the first time. OK, he saves her but then she vanishes, he got over her, I thought. And all was fine until The Lying Detective came and Irene Adler sent a text to Sherlock, first in such a long time. John, of course, suggests that if Sherlock should be romantically involved with anyone, it should be her. And then it hit me.

Irene Adler is the symbol of chemistry in Sherlock’s life.

She’s a dominatrix. She’s all about sex, that’s obvious. At the critical point of The Scandal in Belgravia Sherlock says: I believe John Watson thinks love’s a mystery for me but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very distractive. Sherlock discovers that he, indeed, can have chemistry with people. He doesn’t mention love, he merely says sentiment, referring to the crush Irene Adler had on him. She is, indeed, a simple distraction – you can see it clearly in his memory palace when he yells at her to get away. But Molly… Molly stays. She leads him through the entire process of surviving a shot.

And then Irene Adler returns in The Lying Detective. John confesses to Sherlock about texting with a stranger met on the bus. And that he wanted more. Sherlock says everyone gets to be human sometimes. Even he can’t resist the urge of replying to Irene Adler sometimes. It was all about attraction again.

And that’s why she’s not considered a romantic relationship in his life. John rambles about love changing him, to be more specific, the love of his woman changing him. But he says Irene’s a dangerous criminal. How would that change Sherlock in any way?

In The Final Problem, upon deducing the coffin, John suggests Irene Adler but she’s not his first thought in general once they all hear that this is about someone who loves Sherlock. Sherlock’s response is very telling: Don’t be ridiculous. Look at the coffin. It seems like Sherlock pieces the puzzle at once – the coffin, plus the “name” on the lid – it couldn’t have been Irene Adler.

And that’s why Sherlock calls her The Woman. As a symbol of his sexuality. The Woman who’s woken up certain impulses in his life.

 3. Makeshift Gauge

Who is she?, Sherlock asks John in His Last Vow.

Based on what Mofftiss duo said about Molly, she was supposed to be featured in two episodes top. Yet, she stayed. The uncanonical character not only stayed but became fans’ favourite. I think she became a useful tool for Moffat and Gatiss. I think that not only she represents Sherlock heart (of which existence he has no idea at first) but later becomes our makeshift gauge. For what? For measuring Sherlock’s progress. See, it’s like when you live with someone, you don’t notice when they put on weight or grew a little but those who see less of them will notice all changes right away. So, when Sherlock runs around with John, we don’t notice the change in his behaviour at once (also because he’s always been nice to him, from the very beginning), we need to focus to see that. But Molly pops by once per episode and we see how Sherlock’s perception changes. In season one, he has good intentions, but they turn out bad. In season two, he’s more neutral but doesn’t restrain himself from rude comments. And Molly is being Molly – tells him he’s rude in her natural, soft way and he says sorry. For the first time. Without anyone making him do that. Almost the same happens in The Reichenbach Fall – but this time, Molly doesn’t let herself be fooled by Sherlock’s arrogance and just ignores it, going straight to the point. She says: “I’m here for you” and lowers his defences. In season three, he spends an entire day with her, smiles at her and is the sweetest, softest Sherlock we’ve ever seen. Moreover, when Lestrade asks him about her helping him solve cases, he says: [John] is not in the picture anymore, implying that she not necessarily had to be a temporary replacement. In season four, he says I love you to her.

What can we deduce about his heart?

 4. The Eurus Conundrum

We could write an entire book about Eurus and not even be able to grasp her spirit. I’m not going to do that right now.

I have issues with what happened in season four finale. I mean – Molly, of course. Mycroft says Eurus and Jim Moriarty met five years ago, so before Moriarty revealed himself to Sherlock. They both planned the entire game for Sherlock. Does that mean Sherlock never really won with him? Does that mean Moriarty let him use Molly to “win”? Since she was included in Eurus’ plan, we can safely assume Jim knew about Molly back then. At first, when I saw Moriarty saying We both know that’s not quite true [that you don’t have a heart] in many Sherlolly fanvids, I was like naaaaah. He didn’t see her as one of the important people in Sherlock’s life, it couldn’t have been a reference to their meeting. But now… how deeply back in time was Eurus’ plan allocated? Which events did she predict?

Or maybe I’m missing something? Any thoughts on this?

 5. Sherlock Evergreen

I once came across a post here, about how BBC Sherlock is literature, about sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s struggle with his own genius character. He was over with him, didn’t feel like writing any more of his stories so he killed him, but fans demanded more. He kept writing, although he hated it from the bottom of his heart. Season four, so often considered as the worst of all of them, is a way of saying that Sherlock character is, unfortunately, invincible. Immortal. He will live forever. We can’t kill him, no one can. Even his creator couldn’t have done it.

In season four, Sherlock goes back to the start. He is a clean slate again. He went through the entire process of change – became a good Sherlock, considerate of other people’s feelings and emotions, appreciative, supportive, loving, ready to mend what he broke. That interpretation, although very good, kind of killed my Sherlolly spirit. But I guess every interpretation like this would do it. If we stop treating characters like real human being, we’re left with what they really are – a construct, tools, puppets in the author’s hands.

Based on this, I think we’re safe to say there will never be a fifth season of BBC Sherlock (gosh, how I wish I was wrong!). Why? Because, despite what Moffat said in an interview once (after season three finale he said they’ve plotted out the entire fourth and fifth season – liar, liar, pants on fire!), season four had the perfect ending. As mentioned above, Sherlock became a good man and Mary Watson summed up what Sherlock is all about: two man, a genius junkie and a former soldier, who solve the weirdest, the toughest of cases together in flat on 221B Baker Street. Now, Sherlock is ready to be taken over by other artists who may find a new way to tell his story (though, I don’t think so) all over again.

And that’s a big, big shame… I think I speak for at least most of Sherlollians when I say we’d like to see Sherlock and Molly’s first encounter after the call. The finale really closed all the story arcs and subplots, except for this one. I mean, c’mon. You don’t have to be a Sherlollian to be annoyed by this – just remember that it was such a “biggie” that Moffat was asked about this in an interview. And this may be another reason as to why we won’t ever get a fifth season of Sherlock – because that would mean taking a side. And none of the creators will do it because Sherlock cannot be an open-and-shut case. It has to be like literature: big, open, twisted, unclear and full of room for interpretation. As long as there’s no certain explanation – yes, Sherlock loves Molly, no, Sherlock is gay – we create more and more content out of the need of closure. Thanks to the room for interpretation, the story lives. I mean, it’s been four years since The Final Problem airing and here I am, discussing BBC Sherlock still.

 Coming back to Sherlolly… don’t worry. Though I’m still not sure that we can harvest any hard evidence for Sherlock’s feelings for Molly (other than friendship and respect), I’m still a Sherlollian. There two new fics waiting for me to pull myself together and write them. I think it’s good to have doubts – it means my brain hasn’t rotten yet and I can still be critical, I’m able of having my own opinions.

 Thank you if you managed to read it all! I’d love to discuss if you have any conclusions. If not, that’s fine, too. I just needed it get it out of my system.

PS WHY DOES MY POSTS IN ENGLISH SOUND SO SOPHISTICATED IN MY HEAD BUT WHEN I PUT THEM IN WRITING, THEY’RE SO SHITTY?!