#i have no idea if i should tag this as autism stuff cause i have a feeling this ain't just autism at this point

[kerosene-saint]

NOTHING IS BRINGING THE GOOD BRAIN CHEMICALS HELP

[the-guilty-writer]

hi! i love what you’ve written so far !! would it be possible to do reid x daughter reader where she is in the process of getting an autism diagnosis & reid just is supportive and helpful (maybe because he understands what it’s like?) this is self indulgent haha, just need some support as a person who rlly wants to get tested but is told that it’s just severe anxiety & eating stuff

Thank you for the compliment and the request! They are both highly appreciated!!!

Okay so I had wayyyyyy too many ideas about how to go about this and then when I finally decided on an idea the outline turned into this list. I'm still planning on writing this as a one-shot (or maybe a series but idk yet) but enjoy this headcanon-ish list for now.

(and yes I did a happy stim when I got this request because it hits real close to home)

You had always been told it was anxiety.

Spencer had always been told it was anxiety.

So why would either of you have a reason to believe otherwise? 

Of course there were always little things that didn’t quite add up to anxiety.

Like how when you were little it took a long time for you to be comfortable with someone other than Spencer holding you.

It took you about 4 months to get comfortable with Derek and six months for JJ.

Emily, Hotch, and Rossi were perfectly okay with the fact that you didn’t seem to like any of them.

Hotch was only secretly a little offended because he is a dad he should be good with kids.

The only way Penelope eventually got to hold you was because she wore a headband with a stuffed kitten on it one day and after you had stared at it for an hour straight Spencer finally handed you over to her.

And Penelope thought you wanted to wear the headband so she put it on your head and you immediately got upset, but once she put it back on her head everything was fine and you spent another hour petting it which Penelope was all too happy about because she had been trying to hold you for years.

But all that was just anxiety and being weary of people… right?

When you started elementary school you had trouble adjusting for the first week but after that everything seemed fine (because masking).

And everyone assumed that you had friends because you got invited to your classmates' birthday parties (even though it's required in elementary school to invite everyone nowadays).

The first one was a “girls only” party so Spencer let JJ take you.

And you participated in the crafts and the tea party portion but you DID NOT want to wear the princess dress or wear a tiara (which JJ just assumed was because you were surrounded by men- Spencer was your only parent, your other favorite adult was Derek, even though Henry was a year older than you he was your best friend- but it was actually because of the weird tag in the dress and the combs on the tiara hurt your head).

Your teachers just all thought that you were mature for your age- choosing to read during recess and going overboard on projects (because chances are school was your first special interest).

Once you were a pre-teen/teen certain things got better but certain things got worse.

You had always been fickle about your food (dino nuggets for the win) but suddenly you were even more weird about it.

Spencer was really worried it was a body image issue when in reality you were just having to put triple the effort into masking now that you were older and some days you simply didn’t have the energy to eat.

But the doctors said the lack of appetite was hormone changes.

However, not everything was bad because this was also around the same time you started to really like things. 

Like… really, really like things.

And of course Spencer was the kind of dad that would happily let you talk about your obsessions for hours and buy you books to read on your favorite topics.

If you had a liking for something like a boyband he wouldn’t understand it, but that was where Penelope would step in.

Your grades were good because neurodivergence can cause someone to have people pleasing tendencies in order to be socially accepted or avoid conflict you were smart and worked hard.

But the pressure to be socially accepted at school as you got older started to become way too much.

At first you were able to hide how bad it was by breaking down in your room quietly or in the corner of the school library that nobody used.

Then the breakdowns went from once every few weeks to every week to every day.

And at that point you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

You stepped into the apartment one day after school and had a full-blown meltdown.

And Spencer just knew what to do.

He turned off every light in the apartment and covered every window. Anything he could possibly do to reduce the amount of noise in the room he did. He put his weighted blanket beside you just in case you wanted it. If you started any self-destructive behaviors he knew grabbing you would only make it worse so he gently talked you through it instead.

When it was finally over and you apologized he told you over and over again that you had nothing to be sorry about.

And then the exhaustion hit you so hard that you fell asleep and didn’t even hear your alarm for school the next morning.

Spencer called both of you in sick.

The recovery took days.

But your dad was there for you the entire time.

All you would could eat was dino chicken nuggets and that was 100% okay with him.

At this point Spencer was certain this wasn’t anxiety so he dove into research.

His sheer shock when he came across an article on autism presentation in girls and everything just made sense.

Like how could he have not known this before?

Then he saw how little information there actually was on the topic and how little researchers care because society would much rather continue believing that women are hysterical than to actually accommodate people.

So he had you get tested by someone who actually knew what they were doing instead of an old white-man still living in the dark ages.

And when you were officially diagnosed with autism it was a relief because now you could actually get the accommodations you needed to help make life more accessible to you.

Spencer had also read about how unmasking and allowing yourself to use accommodations was a process.

So instead of asking you what you needed (because he knew you would say that you didn’t need anything) he just came home one day with two sets of noise canceling headphones.

“Dad, what is this?” “Next week they’re starting night construction on the building across the street. It’s going to be loud.”

There was never going to be any construction.

You went from wearing your headphones at night to holding them sometimes on the metro to having them in your school backpack.

Then one day he came home with his old rubix cube after “tidying up his desk” and he taught you the easy method of how to solve it.

You carried it around everywhere with you, even if it was hidden.

And slowly, but surely you began to unmask just a little bit at a time.

One day he brought home a documentary on your special interest and you got so excited you let yourself stim for about three seconds before unconsciously stopping because of social conditioning, but those three seconds of freedom to be yourself felt so good.

You started with the rubix cube in public because that was the least attention grabbing of everything.

Then you began wearing your headphones on the metro.

And slowly but surely you started to wear them in the halls at school.

Soon enough there was a pocket in your backpack with a variety of different stim toys and sensory tools so everything you needed was always within reach.

You and Spencer both knew that your life would never be easy.

But this life was so much better than pretending to be someone you weren't.

[solarsleepless]

hello all

it has been. a Hot second. but i am back

welcome to the kristy thomas autism analysis, where i'm—well, if you're here, you know the deal. here's part 1, 2, 3/4, 5 and 6 if you missed them, and feel free to follow the #autistic kristy comp tag to get to these new posts quicker!!

without further ado, let's do this!

Episode 2

more of kristy's hyperfixation!! claudia herself says that she didn't anticipate kristy coming over with "an agenda of her own", aka stuff to help the business club, which, as stated previously, is clearly a hyperfixation/special interest at this point :)

kristy's anxious about missing school and not being able to pick up the slack while she's off, and anxiety about things building up and not keeping up with it is common for autistic people

kristy's very attentive during her calls with mary anne, especially when mary anne mentions new ideas. the club, as much as it is her hyperfixation, it's also her safe place, and if it changes too much it might not be able to be the comfort that it usually is

more funky sitting :) and comfy clothes

additional notes

mary anne taking the taxes thing literally, also her anxiety that the taxes is a thing she's forgotten and will have to look into

mallory is clearly adhd or audhd (she's impulsive and clearly speaks before she thinks, while also being pretty unaware of social cues), and anxiety about getting things things wrong is a pretty big thing in both neurodivergencies, so it's natural she left stuff in blank - she doesn't want to embarass herself by giving the "wrong answer"

i've already mentioned it, but i feel like i should again say that janine is very heavily autistic-coded. misses social cues like when claudia was upset with her in prior episodes, gives corrections on things she's knowledgeable without being asked, has flat facial and vocal expressions for the most part and an extensive vocab, and is blunt

mallory has a special interest/hyperfixation on horses! she brings them up constantly, writes about them, has clothes with them on, and finds ways to talk about them in conversation

this episode serves as an example of how even people with similar or even the same disorders can clash: claudia is closer to the inattentive side of the adhd spectrum, while mallory is more on the hyperactive side, never able to stop talking. her autism also leads her to be unaware of claudia's frustration, and her rambling is overwhelming and annoying to claudia.

autistic people have a strong sense of right or wrong, and this can cause them to break rules if they consider the current rule "wrong". this includes mary anne taking the minutes even when she was told not to, because it felt morally wrong not to. also, it could be something that grounds her and lets her keep track of everything that goes on and she might feel adrift without it

[donnerpartyofone]

I have posted about this multiple times before but since tumblr's search won't cough any of it up, I'm just going to say it again so I can add my new thing to my thought process about trigger warnings:

Years ago a popular true crime blogger posted an ask from someone requesting that she tag for needles. I think she had posted that notorious x-ray of masochistic serial murderer Albert Fish's colon, which is admittedly disturbing, but she very politely declined on the basis that everything she posts tends to be violent and disturbing--you actually SHOULD find her blog upsetting--and users should manage their expectations around that general premise. Additionally, needles do not carry the specific traumatic weight of something like, say, racial violence or child abuse, for which a warning could be in order; needles are everyday objects that one might reasonably encounter in a store or a person's home, or practically anywhere. If you have such an aversion that it really affects your life to see a needle, you might want to pursue treatment and stop using a part of the internet that is essentially a giant random image generator.

My personal take on content/trigger warnings (are those different? If not then why do we have varying tags instead of one universal one to keep the system reliable?) is similar, that they're only important for material that could seriously upend someone's day. Is Thing X something you truly could not have expected where you encountered it? Would you need to leave work or school if you saw Thing X? Would you need to seek assistance or take a medication? Does Thing X cause significant social problems or affect your sense of safety? If not, you don't need a warning. I mean everyone can tag whatever they choose and of course some folks are happy to tag stuff just because someone might find it annoying or unpleasant, but you're not entitled to protection from strangers just to spare you casual discomfort.

One day I got this extremely angry anonymous message in all caps yelling at me for not tagging spiders. I had no idea what the person was talking about, but after a while I realized it had to be about a popular post I'd made years ago showing tarantulas in a Kids In the Hall sketch. This was especially funny to me because at the time I was posting a lot of explicit violence and sexual imagery that someone could reasonably object to, but this person felt that it was my job to help create the illusion of a spiderless world for their benefit. I know arachnaphobia is a real thing but I still think that if you suffer from it then it's your job to look after yourself and not everybody else's job to protect you from remembering that there are spiders.

This is kind of a tangent but I often think about how trypophobia is not technically a phobia because it isn't affecting anybody's ability to lead a normal daily existence. It's just a grossout thing, basically a matter of taste, but people love to try to elevate it to the level of a serious psychological vulnerability for some reason.

I'm thinking about this stuff (again) today because I just saw a post on one of the autism subreddits where someone linked to a scientific paper to answer a specific question, but they said it needed warnings for incidental use of the term "high-functioning" and advised that some people may not wish to read the paper at all so they wouldn't be triggered by it. That term is sometimes used to invalidate or deny care to people who give the outward appearance of less urgent needs, so it is indeed pretty tricky and needs work. But change is only going to come from attention; if you are concerned about the effects of that language then I think it behooves you to know how it is being used so you are able to argue about it and lobby for change. It's hard for me (a "high-functioning" person) to imagine a scenario in which I'm interested in reading about a condition I have, and then I refuse to do so because the phrase "high-functioning" is going to trigger a psychiatric episode so bad that it's better for me to just ignore information about my own health. I think an adult who is usually inclined to educate themselves should be able to handle occasionally seeing troublesome or outdated language.

Put more concisely than above, my criteria for warnings is just: when the questionable item relates to a real, reasonably common traumatic experience that would be unfair to spring on someone who could relate to it, and/or when the content would be legitimately surprising in its context. Like if you're in my corner of tumblr you should expect that you're going to see horror movie stuff, I'm not tagging anything like that unless it's miles over the line I typically draw. But on the other hand I was out at a restaurant one night and this spoiled egomaniac was practically shouting for a long time in graphic detail about episiotomies within earshot of everyone who was trying to eat. Honestly one of the staff should have told her to shut the fuck up. That's not a thing that people should be normally expected to put up with in a public dining situation, even though it regards a medical procedure that is not morally offensive.

It's probably obvious by now that I think that being uncomfortable and even offended, at least to some degree, has an important psychological and social function. It enables you to recognize and react to problems around you. Understanding what makes you uncomfortable is critical; dealing with discomfort builds character; and continuously avoiding everything you don't like keeps you infantile. It's actually not good to live in a world of only your favorite things.

[texturralize]

Writer of my broken soul. What has happened to the svss fics? Are you okay? Who do I need to fight for you cause I rely on those fics more than an online shopper relies on their credit card.

it’s just..kind of a unfortunate timing kinda thing..something just really discouraged me and hit on some social trauma I have and I’ve been in a funk and need to take a break from my sv fanfic. the other night I sat down to write and someone messaged me on twt to join a sj fan server.

I got super excited bc I still hadn’t ever found a sj focused server and he is (obviously) my fave. when I got in, someone mentioned being fan of my fics. so I searched them just bc I was kinda curious. well..there were a few nitpicks things here and there which is fine. but ig one of my fics, because I forgot a tag, showed up in some people’s feed even when they set their filters, and it bothered them. there were some really hurtful things said..stuff like oh you can’t trust this author, can’t believe they did this, it was disingenuous, they wanted to toss themself down the stairs from sheer disgust, it was creepy, people wanted to block me, they felt mad anytime they saw my name…it was bordering on fic/author bashing and I was shocked the conversation just continued like normal and was allowed…so I got uncomfortable and left the server.

I don’t really blame the server itself or the people who talked about me, multiple people have sent me DMs saying they felt bad and like my work and that was really sweet. one of the people who said stuff also apologized for it so it’s not like I hold a grudge. it’s just, stuff like this is kind of hard to deal with for me. it’s not that I’ve never encountered hate comments or anything on the internet, I think I was just blindsided by the situation..no one expects to encounter stuff like that in what should be a safe space for fun and ideas you were invited to. I let myself get excited and wasn’t expecting it so it really affected me.

it’s just unfortunate that it happened in that way because though I’m sure no one specifically meant to hurt me, like I said, this kind of triggered some social trauma for me. as someone who grew up with undiagnosed autism, I’ve often felt hurt and silly when I entered spaces and didn’t realize people didn’t like me until too late. I spent a long time unable to explain why I felt certain ways when these things happened bc I didn’t even understand the way my own brain worked. I also have a very direct way of communicating and don’t say things unless I mean them, so the idea of venting and being aggressive abt something but not ‘really meaning it’ is hard for me; it’s hard to understand that someone could say such cruel stuff but not take it seriously. so my brain catastrophizes and won’t let me forget what happened and there’s dysphoria when I perceive rejection, dislike, aggression, etc. BECAUSE I take those things so seriously. and I also would never bash someone or their fic bc I know fic is made from love and is 100% free so it’s hard for me to get past it y’know?

just to reiterate..I’m not mad at anyone, I don’t think anyone is a bad person. they said they made a mistake speaking like that about someone and will keep in mind what I said when we talked. I’m sure there are plenty of people in that server who like my stuff and don’t want to see me discouraged…

god, it’s just really hard, you know? it’s been a while since something really managed to hurt my feelings. I guess I just felt stupid, and kind of humiliated. it’s that feeling of walking into a room only to realize you’re the punchline…

so..yeah it just kind of has me in a funk, as someone who’s struggled to make friends and connections in fandom too despite how ‘easy’ it’s supposed to be. I’m still kind of disappointed that something I got excited over exploded so much in my face and didn’t work out. but overall I mostly just tripped into a depression spell and it’s making me feel bad to look at my work so..I decided to take a break from it. to people who like my stuff…I’m really sorry. I don’t mean to take anything away from people who really liked it. I just want to feel better.

the last time I felt this bad was a few years ago, when someone did something really horrible to me and it upset me so much and took the joy out of the fandom I was creating content for, because it was something we did together. I’m not really upset over the specifics of what was said, just the experience and how similar it was to things I’ve went through in the past. I’m upset over the fact I don’t feel like it’s fun to write right now, and I don’t want to lose this special interest like I did my last one…so yeah, just kind of sucks overall.

I hope no one feels bad about what happened for a long time. just..unfortunately, I probably will, and maybe taking a break will help..idk

sorry :(

[futureseaempress]

WIP Weekend Tag Game

I got tagged by @hypnostheory tyty bb

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more). (If you're an artist or other non-fic fandom creator, questions can be found here!)

1. WIP List:

okay bear with me theres a bunch

DAVEKAT -the cowboy one -the waho one and/or the office one -first date/Nastygum -tire trouble part two -the nanny au -the sweet home alabama au -more Silver paint CODA -glory -some princes don’t become kings

FIRST PRINCE -the soulmates au -the omegaverse au -the actor au -the baby one -the hockey one -threes giving - bachelor party -the autism/self expression one

TMA -that last chapter of fanning the flame that was supposed to be about agnes and Jack and I just never fucking wrote anything for it

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

here in search of your glory for sure

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

so if i ever finish it more silver paint is bound to be the longest

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

oooo i love writing the kid fic echoed through my mind is rlly fun tbh i like the drama and doing something ive never written before is rlly fun

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

ALL OF THEM but defo the sweet home alabama au bc i think about it allll the time

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

-the threesome one bc I have a rlly good idea for it but I’m convinced I’m gonna fall short bc I want it to be kind of long and I struggle with that

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

hya usually reads my stuff but uhhh the soulmate au for sure not bc of anything bad but bc it’s almost too quick and I need someone to help me like slow down and set the mood

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

ALL OF THEM ACTUALY i kinda just black out and start typing jibberish when i get too stuck and usually it works itself out

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

oh uh none of them. i suppose I’m gonna cheat and say the kid fic bc I’m playing with some characters who exist in name only and like I’ve written Philips kids as getting along with Shaan & Zahra’s and his youngest behave like Henry and Bea and June has a little girl who is just like Alex and Alex is going to have a daughter who is just like June

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

i'm gonna say the actor au but thats just cause i have plans

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

ooo I don’t do a lot of angst but I’m gonna say the threesome bc Alex is a Dingus in that one BUT MAYBE HOCKEY BC ITS SAD FOR OSCAR AND ARTHUR

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

ummmmmmmm. I’m gonna say. The omegaverse one actually it blends canon and fantasy rlly well

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

glory. the next chapter has like bits from my favorite concert stuff and I love it

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

I wanna say Glory but it could rlly go for any of them I think about them kind of all the time

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

the threesome one but that’s bc the idea is rlly good and I want to pull it off college aus are my favorite & should be easy cause I lived in a dorm from age 16-21 but still

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

ummmmm no? mb? I think about them before bed to get to sleep tho

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

so I like putting different venues of communication in my fic it’s kind of my favorite thing to add and I like writing emotional break downs where the text changes and the vibe becomes rlly frantic

but complexities is a hard stone to lift maybe the hockey one bc they aren’t together yet? and I mostly write established stuff? or the omegaverse one for the same reason

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

probs the threesome but that’s just bc hya and I had fun telling each other about it

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

NO LOL— maybe I should write something from Pez or Nora’s perspective for the threesome fic but that’s kind of cheating maybe Liam will get a chapter for funnies

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

My college au has a fight over the custody of Nora’s Keurig.

I’m not going to be tagging anyone bc I’m dreadfully late but if anyone wants to do it bc they saw it here they should!

[a-queer-seminarian]

so ya wanna know about autism: masterpost

I give this google doc link out to individuals a lot, and realized it might be useful for a lot of people if i shared it more widely. It’s a masterpost of a whole bunch of Autistic Stuff -- here’s the link to the actual doc, but i’ll also post it all here on tumblr (under a readmore after the table of contents).

(edit: if the hyperlinks aren’t working for you, here’s the google doc url that you can copy and paste into an internet browser to access everything: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16BqhRv4IlZ6KcElGAEZOx8sFYwRs4W1jF-ddY_XKYnE/edit?usp=sharing )

Please spread it around (including sharing the google doc link outside of tumblr wherever you want). Feel free to comment with more resources, tumblr posts, articles, etc. that you find helpful! And if any links are broken, let me know.

It can be a major challenge for adult autistic folks to find content for us and by us, because so much “official” content is 1) ableist and harmful and 2) geared towards parents of autistic children. So I’ve compiled just about every resource I’ve got that discusses autism by and for #actuallyautistic folks.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

- ORGANIZATIONS AND SELF ADVOCATES

- DEFINING AND DESCRIBING AUTISM

misc.

Metaphors and images for autism

Disability models

Issues with Functioning Labels, ideas of “Mild” - “Severe” autism

- AUTISM AND INTERSECTIONALITY

misc.

Autism among women

Autism and race

Autism and LGBTQ

- STUFF ON SELF DIAGNOSIS

misc.

Is it ADHD or Autism??

Tests / checklists

- STUFF ON PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS

- AUTISTIC PRIDE / CULTURE AND HISTORY!

misc.

Autism / disability history and culture

The Neurodiversity Movement

Person first vs. identity first language

Cureism

- AUSTITIC TRAITS (BEYOND THE ONES COMMONLY DISCUSSED!)

Misc. - samefoods, lists, needing to know what to expect, etc.

Stimming

Communication stuff - misc. - Verbal/nonverbal - Infodumping - echolalia - Prosopagnosia - Aphasia - Eye contact

Special interests / hyperfixations

Auditory Processing Disorder

Sensory issues / Sensory Processing Disorder

Meltdowns and Shutdowns and Burnout

Executive function

Emotion stuff

- MASKING / PASSING / SCRIPTING

- WHY AUTISM SPEAKS AND ABA ARE SO BAD

- MISCELLANEOUS

Suicide

Allyship / for allistics - For parents of autistic persons

More non-speaking autistic self-advocates

misc.

_________________

SOME ORGANIZATIONS AND SELF ADVOCATES

ASAN!!

The Autistic Woman and Nonbinary Network

Amethyst Schaber’s “Ask and Autistic” YouTube full of videos on various autistic stuff

Lydia X.Z. Brown / Autistic Hoya 

Dr. Nick Walker

Mrs. Kerima Çevik

“Non-Speaking Autistic Speaking” - Amy Sequnzia’s blog

“The thinking person’s guide to autism”

The How-To Wiki for autism is actually really helpful! 

Ollibean blog .

DEFINING AND DESCRIBING AUTISM

Video: “What is autism?”

“About autism”

“What being autistic means to me”

Myths about autism .

Metaphors and images for autism - “Autism is a sundae bar” - “Autism is purple” - “Understanding the spectrum” comic - Another visual on the idea of a spectrum - And another visual on the spectrum - not an on-off switch .

Disability models - Understanding disability models - Video: models of disability discourse .

Functioning Labels, “Mild” or “Severe” autism - Article on functioning labels - “What’s wrong with functioning labels? A masterpost” - Another article on problems with functioning labels - “I don’t experience my autism mildly; you experience my autism mildly” - A non-speaking autistic who is labeled non-functioning discusses labels - “Most people would consider me low-functioning, but I hate that word” - Tweets from actual autistics on functioning labels - How the same person may be labeled low or high functioning at different times - “Mental Age Theory hurts people with disabilities” .

AUTISM AND INTERSECTIONALITY

Article on autism in communities of color + in the LGBTQ community

Autism, intersectionality, and STEM college outcomes

Articles on intersectionality on The Art of Autism .

Autism among women - A reminder about talking about differences in autism in “females” - “I thought I was lazy: the invisible struggle for autistic women” - “The women who don’t know they’re autistic” - “The gas-lighting of women and girls on the autism spectrum” .

Autism and race - “Being Autistic, Black, and Femme” - “Black and Autistic: Is there room at the advocacy table?” - “Autistic, Gifted, and Black” - “I, too, am Racialized” - Autistic Hoya on being Chinese & a transracial adoptee - Video: “Growing up BLACK in a neurotypical legal system” - The Autism Wars: Mrs. Kerima Çevik’s blog .

Autism and LGBTQ - “Autism and gender variance - is there a cause for the correlation?” - “The intersection of autism and gender” - Issues being transmasc and autistic - “Gendervague: At the intersection of Autistic and trans experiences” - “I’m an autistic lesbian and no, I don’t wish I were ‘normal’” .

STUFF ON SELF DIAGNOSIS:

A self-diagnosis masterpost!

Autistic self-dx is valid

“Reasons why self-dx is good from the pov of a professional” 

Some reasons why autism may go undiagnosed 

“Five reasons I am self identified as autistic”

“Beware of gatekeeping”

A masterpost of “resources for women who believe they might be autistic”

A therapist who’s never met an incorrect self-dx-er .

Is it ADHD or Autism?? - Links to information on the intersections between autism and ADHD - A list of things that are more ADHD, things that are more autism, and things that are both - Science: decoding the overlap between ADHD and autism - The concept of neurodivergent “cousins” .

Various tests / checklists: - ASD Checklist - List of inclusive autistic traits - Book: I Think I Might Be Autistic: A Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis and Self-Discovery for Adults .

STUFF ON PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS:

Privilege in being able to get a diagnosis

Pros and cons of getting one

Someone answers the question “Was it worth it for you to get diagnosed as an adult?”

Professional diagnosis can get some people deported :/

This person’s journey from self-dx to pro-dx .

AUTISTIC PRIDE / CULTURE AND HISTORY!

The wiki how-to on accepting your autism

The wiki how-to on autistic strengths 

“7 Cool Aspects of Autistic Culture”

“I’m autistic and proud of it”

“You are not a burden” 

“What is self advocacy?” .

Autism / disability history and culture - Video: “Is autism a disability?” - A google drive “disability library” full of amazing content - A tumblr tag full of posts with autistic history - Book - Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking includes essays that explore the history of autism and of autistic self-advocacy - Book - Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity .

The Neurodiversity movement - The neurodiversity paradigm - Video: basic terms and definitions - Video: what is neurodiversity? - Liberating ourselves from the pathology paradigm .

Person first vs. identity first language (“person with autism” vs. “autistic person”) - ASAN on identity first language - Why it matters - Video: Autism ACTUALLY Speaking - Science: a study on what labels actual autistic persons prefer - An image showing the difference between person first and identity first language .

Cureism & seeking causes of autism - Video: “Autism and the disability community: the politics of neurodiversity, causation, and cure” - Video: Self advocacy in a culture of cure - An analogy against cureism - It’s okay that some autistics do want a cure - Quotes on Truth Is by Julia Bascom about not needing a cure - Cureism is eugenics - “If a cure is found, no one will force you to take it” .

AUTISTIC TRAITS (BEYOND THE ONES COMMONLY DISCUSSED!)

“Thinking about patterns of opposite extremes among autistic people” (e.g. how we tend to be sensory avoidant or sensory seeking, extremely gender conforming or extremely gender nonconforming, hyper-empathetic or hypo-empathetic)

An essay on inclusive autistic traits

This tumblr is dedicated to answering people asking about whether various things are autistic traits!

This person lists the reasons they think (know) they’re autistic; the list includes a lot of traits that often aren’t talked about 

“Some autism things” .

“What are samefoods?” - “Why do autistic people tend to samefood?”

It’s okay if you don’t like certain things / avoid certain things because of your autism

Wanting/needing to know how long something will last, what to expect .

Stimming! - Video: what is stimming? - Video on self-injurious stims - Video: autobiographical look at stimming and its role - More than a coping mechanism - A masterpost of examples of various types of stimming - Video on vocal / verbal stimming - Examples of vocal stimming as communication - A tumblr blog with a tag full of examples of body stims .

Communication stuff - Trouble with volume modulation; repetition; inconsistent talking habits - Autistic idiolects - Autistic dialect? - Autistics communicate differently amongst each other! . - Verbal/nonverbal - - Selective mutism - - Semiverbal communication - - Different amounts of access to speech - - A person on being non-verbal and using AAC - - People who are nonverbal still deserve to be listened to .

Infodumping - What is infodumping?

Echolalia - “Autism and Echolalia: what you need to know” - What is echolalia? - A tumblr blog’s tag featuring examples of echolalia

Aphasia and autism

Prosopagnosia (Face blindness) - Science: a study confirming that some 67% of autistic persons have some degree of facial recognition difficulties - Science: a study offering theories for why this is!

Video: Autistics and eye contact - Science: Researchers explore why autistic people avoid eye contact

Tendency to overexplain .

Special interests / hyperfixations - Some info on hyperfixations - Video on special interests - Emphasizing the intensity of these things - “What’s so special about a special interest?” - “Why we love what we love and why it should matter to you” - Not every autistic person knows everything there is to know about their special interest - “Interest hopping” - Dividing our life into “eras” of special interests .

Auditory Processing Disorder - Examples of APD - “You might struggle with auditory processing if…” .

Sensory Processing Disorder - Video: What is sensory processing disorder? - Video: a virtual experience of what it’s like to be at a party as someone with SPD - A post about some of the weird sensory stuff that many autistics experience (such as feeling nauseated when your real issue is a headache) - Many sensory issues aren’t just annoying, but physically painful - Difficulty in explaining autistic hypersensitivities - Auditory sensory musings - Trying to describe sensory overload - Not noticing when we’re hungry - Weird tolerance for big pain, intolerance for small pain - Science: “Unseen Agony: Dismantling Autism’s house of pain” - Tumblr blog with a tag of other posts about sensory issues .

Meltdowns and Shutdowns and burnout: - Meltdowns vs. shutdowns - Video: “What are autistic meltdowns?” - Video: “What are autistic shutdowns?” - A description of meltdowns - Signs of a shutdown in autistic people - How to support someone having a shutdown - Science: “Autistic shutdown alters brain function” - How to avoid meltdowns - “Dealing with meltdowns” - “The protective gift of meltdowns” - Video on autistic burnout - Article on burnout - Science: Autistic burnout described by a researcher - An article on autistic regression (burnout) - “Help! I seem to be getting more autistic” - talks about how things like burnout, aging, new environment, being around other autistics, and more can cause this .

Executive function - Video: “What is executive functioning?” - A chart describing the different aspects of executive function - “Executive functioning problems - a frustrating aspect of being autistic” - Autistic inertia .

Emotion stuff (including empathy) - Our emotional regulation is different - Article: (some) people with autism can read emotions, feel empathy - Video on misconceptions around autism and empathy - “Double standards: The irony of empathy and autism” - Science on the “double empathy problem” involving relationships between autistics and non-autistics - Not a bad person for not having empathy - More musings on autism and empathy - “Autistic grief is not like neurotypical grief” .

Alexithymia: - Science: Overlap between autism and alexithymia - Video: what is alexithymia? - “I don’t know how I feel”

MASKING / PASSING 

Video on passing

An infographic on autistic masking

Another video on masking / “hiding” in a neurotypical world

We are not obligated to mask or “act less autistic”

When you mask less and get told “you’ve been acting more autistic”

Getting called high-functioning because you mask/pass well

Scripting: - Video: what is scripting? 

WHY AUTISM SPEAKS AND ABA ARE SO BAD

A guide to identifying good autism organizations (and how they can improve!)

Autism Speaks:

Some facts and statistics 

An AS masterpost

Another AS masterpost

Video: What’s wrong with AS?

Video: a non-speaking autistic’s response to discussions between Autism Speaks and GRASP

“Enough with the puzzle pieces”

“I resign my roles at Autism Speaks”

“Responding to Autism Speaks” .

ABA:

Video: what’s ABA? 

“Studies find thin evidence for early autism therapies” 

Masterpost of why ABA is harmful

More on how ABA is abusive even if a kid “seems to like it”

An autistic describes ABA’s “quiet hands” method

And another post on how ABA is harmful

Trauma and autism

Alternatives to ABA

MISCELLANEOUS 

Suicide - Video: Speaking to suicidal autistics - Science linking autism and increased suicidality - Video: “diagnosis saved my life” .

Allyship / for allistics - Video: How to be an ally - Resources for supporting autistics during Autism Acceptance month and year-round! - Autistic accessibility needs - “How to be a friend to autistic people” - 15 things you never say to an autistic person - What to say / not to say to an autistic adult - Video: what shouldn’t I say to autistic people? - Video: Things not to say to an autistic person - Video: “Isn’t everyone a bit autistic?” - Don’t talk about “mental age” - “To those who tell autistic persons ‘everyone experiences that’” - Why it’s not helpful to say “well I don’t think of you as disabled / as autistic” - How to support a loved one who’s gone temporarily nonverbal - How to support someone having a shutdown - Help reduce meltdowns in a loved one - Don’t restrain an autistic person having a meltdown - Understanding why autistics seem “so picky” - Making communication easier for your autistic friend - Avoiding ableism against AAC users - How to protect your autistic employees from ‘no script found’ situations” .

For parents of autistic persons - “Don’t Mourn for Us” - “You don’t ‘lose a child to autism’” - Advice from autistic adults on treating your autistic children with respect - A masterpost of advice for “autism parents” - It’s okay if your kid doesn’t hug you or say “I love you” - “They keep publishing these violent articles” - “When you’re autistic, abuse is considered love” - You don’t have to tell everyone who comes across you and your kid in public that your kid is autistic / you don’t have to constantly apologize for your kid! - Your kid isn’t bad / uncooperative just because they have certain differences - Don’t tell autistic adults we are “nothing like your child” - A tag full of more tumblr posts about / for “autism parents”

More non-speaking autistic self-advocates - Video: “In My Language” by Mel Baggs - Mel Baggs: “Don’t ever assume autism researchers know what they’re doing” - Lysik’an: “You don’t speak for low-functioning autistics” - Film: Deej

Autistics and the idea of “getting out of your comfort zone”

Autistics accommodate allistics far more than the other way around 

It is icky when autistic persons are only valued when we’re “productive” 

Parents who are themselves autistic

Autism as genetic? - Science: “Autism Genetics, Explained”

Science: links to some studies on autism and gastro-intestinal issues, autism and caffeine, autism and sleep, autism and stimming, autism and queerness, autistic strengths, and more

[the-slasher-madame]

Bro not u saying u have ADHD and autism 💀 doctors say you don't have it, u don't have it. Stop trying to be "special" there's nothing cool with having ADHD or autism believe me, I know. So stop pretending and bullshiting, u make the rest of us look like we're pretending and I'm tried of this shit, go get a actually hobbie instead of faking illnesses

Bro not you sending this anonymously 💀

In all seriousness, a lot of neurodivergent people accept self-diagnosis as a valid thing. The diagnostic criteria for autism and ADHD were developed based off of people who were raised male. Being raised male or female usually means there's different traits that present, and most of the ones that present in someone raised female aren't recognized. Not to mention, both ADHD and autism are a spectrum, meaning a person can pass of easier as neurotypical and still be neurodivergent. And masking is absolutely a thing, as I'm sure you know. Personally, there's a lot of things that I just do that I've never had a name for before (apparently picking my lips is a stim?). And on stims: I was "mature for my age" and thus constantly told myself "you don't need to do that" cause I didn't know stimming was a thing. I'm pretty happy to say that I stim more, and I'm realizing that as a kid, feeling an emotion so hard that you feel like you need to move to properly get through it isn't something everyone does.

Also, you have absolutely no idea what goes through my head on a daily basis. You have absolutely no idea what kind of research I've done, or opinions I've gotten from other nerodivergent people who have told and shown me what these things I feel are, and that they're ok to feel. You don't know the amount of self-loathing I've gone through because I can't make myself get up and draw like I want to, or work on a school project that's due soon and I should really start. You haven't seen how I visualize my mind, how I see it as a cross between a conspiracy board and a mad scientist's lair and a hurricane disaster area. You haven't seen the look of "oh my god there's a name for that?" when I learned that hyperactivity can be mental. I also live in the American South, with a mother who very much cares about how other people perceive both her and her family and about conformity, so I haven't had access to other people's experiences until I hit high school. I also had a lot of influences of "you need to look like other people" and a habit of being too logical with myself. Maybe I don't need something like I need air or water, but I need it in the sense that it greatly improves my experience of life. I've done a lot of this stuff and never even realized there was an explanation, I genuinely thought that I was a bad person and that there was something wrong with me. And I still question that validity of my experiences, but I do my best to learn to trust myself, my experiences, and my friends.

So that's my piece, I promised my bestie that I would be nice. I'm also gonna tag @immortal-velociraptor because I consider them my Tumblr Parent and figure they might have something they want to add (Fang it's ok if you don't wanna deal with this, I get it <3)

[jaredthebc]

ur turn for hilbert 🎤🎤🎤

MY SON YESSSS I have so much autism for this guy who has like 20 lines in a gatcha I basically only play once in a century and the rest I basically projected onto IFUHRUIFHRF

Sexuality Headcanon: Bi Bi Bi, Bi Bi (+ Ace)

Gender Headcanon: THIS BLORBO IS SO TRANS all Pokemon protags radiate transgender but the ones in BW especially. If I had 100% control of my wardrobe currently I would unironically dress like Hilbert. I also know he's trans cause he told me himself

A ship I have with said character: Kuroshipping :] Its very casual for me in that I can see either perspective of people who see Hilbert as Aro, and I don't really see either Hilbert or Cheren being wholesome head over heels for each other but they really do radiate that energy of "If our company allowed gayness to be explicitly shown we would be an endgame couple" They just have an energy where they would be chaotic but in such a fun and loving way (though they probably would mellow out once they reach their twenties) the kind where you probably would just think they were close friends from a glance gthhgtuighg

A BROTP I have with said character: I WILL FOREVER STAND WITH HILBERT AND N BEING THE BROTHERS EVER AND HOW THEY BREAK THE CHAIN OF BROTHERS FIGHTING OVER DRAGONS

Just ahguhtuhgtgtihu I have so much to say about these two I cannot fit it in one ask fiuhtguihtg. Brothers who didn't know they existed until found, thinking both are heroes with roles sprung upon them from early ages in different points of their lives, instead of breaking over time they slowly melt together like glue, both feeling the need to reconnect after their own individual self journeys are complete, finally breaking a chain of pain and suffering even if it hurt to get there...aaaaaaa I care for them so muchhhhhhhhh

PLUSPLUS HE AND HILDA ARE TWINS YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND IUHTIGUHTG just the general idea of an extra sibling not burdened with the pain of being a hero at one point in time like her brothers thus being a way to keep both grounded, while STILL not being a perfect person herself able to rely on her siblings its aughhghghghgh I love themmmm

A NOTP I have with said character: I'm sorry but if you ship Hilbert and N (+Hilda and N for that matter) I will hate your guts and I hate how a lot of the tags are filled with that shit ;-; I just want sibling content (I'm neutral on Hilbert X Hilda since they aren't canonically siblings despite how I plead and beg, I just ignore and move on with my day lol)

A random headcanon: YOU GET TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE BABY

First one kind of ties to the brothers at peace thing, is whatever dragon Hilbert ended up getting depending on the region, after he and N reconnected, N just kind of ended up getting both dragons over time from Hilbert. Its not like official or anything, but Hilbert noticed how often N borrows his dragon and is fine with never getting it back. He is just happy N can be at peace with both of the dragons :)

AND THE OTHER IDK HOW MUCH I CAN FIT basically, I think Hilbert never became champion. He didn't really have a major goal of becoming one like the other protags before him, but that doesn't mean he hated the idea or anything, he just wasn't sure if that was what he wanted to do, and used his journey as a way to internally see what he should do. After the whole "Unintentionally becoming a chosen hero to fight his spiritual sibling" thing, a lot about N really stuck to him, wanting to find him for several reasons (like wanting to make sure he is okay, potentially bringing him home, saying the stuff he said in Masters etc etc). He didn't really act upon this until he was initially fighting Alder. He was literally on Alder's last Pokemon before he called the match off on his own terms.

After this he went on his way across the regions looking for N, which took a major toll on him the two years he was gone, mainly mentally. He had a hard time really justifying himself to relax, and almost ghosting everyone he ever knew also hurt a lot (The most he did to contact was write letters once in a blue moon to his mom, letting her know he was okay, but since he was on the move so much she didn't even really get the chance to write back)

I want to write a fic about this someday but basically I imagine Cheren was the one to find Hilbert outside of Unova and convince him to come home, and the reunion for everyone included so many tears and hugs. After some time home, Hilbert would go to Pasio (With the Unova gang of course) and reunite with the one he longed so much to meet again

General Opinion over said character: I am very normal about him. I know a lot of the stuff is kind of made up from my mind but in my defense I kind of have to at points this poor boy gets no lines in his own game lol

I care for him so much and I hope for the day Pokemon realizes the potential of some kind of anime based on him (never will happen but I'm used to things I want not happening lol)

[rawbutprecious]

Some Updates About Myself

Hello wonderful people! I am back on here, if you haven't noticed. I am slowly working my way through asks, likes, tags, and all that good stuff. It was a long while that I just disappeared. I'm sorry about that. I feel really bad. This pandamic - wow. It's been brutal. On top of the pandemic a lot has happened. Here's a rundown. There will be some health things mentioned so I am sorry for triggering you. Anyway, last year this all happened:

1. I got anemic for the first time in over a decade. I have no idea why. That wiped my energy.

2. I also was diagnosed with dry eye, basement dystrophy (it's got another name but I don't remember it) and had a flare of my map-dot fingerprint dystrophy so my eyes have been giving me a lot of pain.

3. My prolactin has raised. I visited my endocrinologist, a different endocrinologist, and a holistic doctor to debate if I should go on a medication that can cause psychosis (3 members of my family took it for other things and they had bad reactions). The high prolactin has caused me to be emotional.

4. I had to put two cats to sleep due to health issues (one got diabetes on top of anemia and you can't treat both while another had a massive stroke). I have 5 cats now plus 4 dogs (I got a new puppy in December) and a parrot.

5. I had a tutoring job from April of last year until February of this year. I quit because of the hours were brutal and the pay was bad. I have been working odd jobs but would love to make more than a dollar a gig. It was hard to leave but the job was sucking my mental health.

6. My autism symptoms have become more pronounced. I have been having meltdowns. I have become super sensitive to everything so please be gentle.

7. I started my doctorate in September. I am on class 4 and 5 of 16 classes. Hopefully, I will have my EeD in Education - Reading Literacy by 2024.

8. I came out nonbinary last year. I use she/they pronouns.

9. I was recently diagnosed with something called Chiari Malformation. My brain is too big for my skull and it's in my neck. It's causing a lot of issues including my current headache/migraine - I am on week 2 I think. How to treat is to be determined.

I feel like I am missing a lot of stuff, but that in part is what's going on.

[adultingautistic]

Hi! Adult diagnosed with autism just recently and I’m trying to understand more terms used by the community! I have masking, stimming, and samefoods learn but are there other common ones I should know about?

Oh wow!  This is a good idea, a glossary of sorts! 

At first I was like “HOW WILL I EVER THINK OF THEM ALL?? MY MIND HAS GONE TOTALLY BLANK, WHAT’S AN AUTISM???”

But then I realized I already HAVE a pretty extensive list- it’s my tag list for this blog!  So, here ya go, starting with the 3 you listed:

masking

stimming

samefoods / samesong / samemovie

sensory input - the 5 senses, and how they interact with your brain.  When you see/hear/feel/smell/taste something, that is “input” into your brain

Bad Sensory Input / sensory hell - Autistics experience horrific sensory input in a way that allistics just do not, and there are no words to describe it, so we invented our own.  Bad Sensory Input is something that is far, far more horrible than just “unpleasant”.  For example, smelling a dumpster is a bad smell, but smelling mint for me is a Bad Smell, it makes me react very violently and almost puke, and I would much RATHER smell a dumpster than have to smell mint, so for me, mint is a Bad Smell.  

sensory sensitivity - Describes the condition of being affected by Bad Sensory Input

sensory overload - When your 5 senses are receiving too much information for your brain to handle.  Can lead to a meltdown/shutdown

autistic burnout - When you’ve been dealing with overload situations over an extended period of time, and run out of spoons (the energy it takes to do day-to-day things)

spoons - Not strictly an autistic term, but used by the entire disabled community at large.  Wikipedia explains it really well

self diagnosis / self dx - Because of a huge number of difficulties in getting professionally diagnosed, the autistic community accepts and advocates for self-diagnosis, that is, a person saying they are autistic based on their own personal experiences and research, without the diagnosis of a doctor

special interest / spIn (abbreviation, that’s a capital i) - More than “just a hobby”, an intense interest in a particular subject that takes away from learning about other subjects (causing “narrow interests” in the person), because so much time is spent on the special interest.  

hyperfixation / hyperfocus - When you are so engaged in the task you are doing that your brain has no room left to process other stimuli, such as hearing the world around you, realizing you need the bathroom, realizing you’re thirsty, etc

emotional overload - When your emotions become so intense it can send you into meltdown / shutdown

emotional dysregulation / emotional regulation - The inability to “reign in” emotions; having emotions that are much too big for a situation, having emotions that are a huge overreaction to a situation, or also a huge underreaction

auditory processing disorder - A hearing disorder that occurs when there is nothing wrong with the ears, but the brain struggles to interpret sounds.  Greatly affects the ability to understand speech.

echolalia / echologia - Repeating of words or phrases that you’ve heard, for various reasons.  Echolalia is repeating the words out loud, echologia is repeating them only in your mind

face blindness - A deficiency in the ability to recognize/remember faces

executive dysfunction / executive function - Poor executive function causes a person to struggle with planning, organization, remembering to do tasks, etc

propioception - the ability to feel the position of one’s body in relation to itself and the world around it.  Struggling with proprioception causes a person to be “clumsy” or “accident-prone”

meltdown / shutdown - A reaction to sensory or emotional overload.  The brain taking drastic measures to protect itself from more input, as it cannot handle any more.  Meltdowns are outward survival actions such as fight, flight, or hide, including kicking, screaming, or running away.  Shutdowns are internal reactions, where the person no longer responds to outside stimuli.

nonverbal - Nonverbal autistics are people who have very limited speech or are not able to speak

going nonverbal / becoming nonverbal - Many autistics are “partially” verbal, meaning they can speak when not stressed, but if they become overloaded lose their ability to effectively communicate with speech (called ‘going nonverbal’).  Can be a symptom of a meltdown/shutdown.  While I’ve seen this term used in the autistic community, @garbageonionpeople pointed out “I’ve seen a lot of nonverbal autistic ppl say they’d rather if people who are not nonverbal use something like “lose speech” instead of “go nonverbal”, since it gives the word an implication of impermanency”.

nonverbal communication / nonverbal cues - The parts of human communication that are not speaking, such as body language, facial expression, and gestures.  Autistics struggle to both interpret and display these forms of communication.

accommodation / self accommodation - The changing of an environment or behavior to alleviate autistic symptoms so that the autistic person can function in a less stressful way

abelism - Bigotry that stems from the attitude that disabled people are somehow worth less than non-disabled people.  The idea that disabled people are the ones who need to change to fit into an abled world is abelism.

allistic - a non-autistic person.

empathy / hyperempathy /hypoempathy - Empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of others.  Autistics tend to have either high empathy or low empathy, meaning we are either very affected by the emotions of others, or are not affected much at all.  This is not the same as compassion, autistic people with low empathy can still be very compassionate and care very much about others.

So even though this is a pretty good list, I’m sure I still forgot stuff!  If other people want to add stuff I forgot, please do so!  I also realize that these definitions are VERY short.  If you have more questions, search my blog for the tags, as all of these I got from posts I made with much more detailed explanations.  Or of course, search the tumblr tags, or google.

[theburninggalaxy]

Intro thing ig

Hi! We're the Burning Galaxy system, we're 18, and our collective pronouns are he/it and this is a mess. Part trauma recover and system memes, part study blog, part "trying to actually remember shit" blog, part random interests blog. Should we make a side blog? Eh probably. But we honestly can't be bothered so it's all going here.

We are anti-endo but are open to discussion about it, tho we ask that endos don't interact with our system posts and we reserve the right to not respond and to block if we feel uncomfortable.

Some things we might post about include:

revision

maths

physics

uni applications cause otherwise we're not gonna get it done

genshin

trans + queer stuff

adhd + autism

trauma recovery - everything will have proper tws but if any are needed that we don't add please tell us!!!

atla

writing

General shitposting

BNHA

DNI list:

bigots (homophobia, transphobia, racism, antisemitism, islamophobia, ablism, xenophobia, antisemitism etc.)

anyone who forces their religious beliefs (or lack thereof) onto other people

conservatives/republicans/right wingers

flat earthers/anti evolution/generally not accepting science

dsmp/genshin antis who don't let others enjoy them. You're allowed to not like things without harassing others about it.

truscum/anti neopronouns

Asks and dms are open and welcome, just don't be a dick and don't get pissed if we don't answer

These are the tags we use to organise this blog cause as we said, we really should make a side blog but we can't be bothered. This is mostly so we know what to search for when looking for posts we've made/reblogged so feel free to skip the rest of the post. We would put it in a separate one and link it but I have 0 clue how to do that.

Orion rambles (home to Orions rambles, all of which are either positive or neutral in tone)

Resources

Posts and reblogs about atla, bnha, pjo, and haikyuu are tagged as such, other fandoms aren't guaranteed but might

Positive reminders

Quotes

To dos

Self care ideas

Eryx talks (currently empty, but he wants to post more so all of his positive and neutral posts will be here)

Headcanons

Tw: vent (please remember to tag vents as vents both for our safety and for others)

Space

Physics

Maths

We are very small and the world is very big

System memes

School

uk politics

Polyam

Bears in trees

Life advice

Writing

Writing ideas (currently empty but hopefully will use in future)

Poems

Revision tips

[beacon-lamp]

Thoughts on dreams response?

so i read the 19 page paper and then watched dream’s response video.  don’t really know what the discourse surrounding his response is bc ✨i don’t care enough to go purposefully looking for it ✨

my overall thoughts on the Entire Situation under the cut because i talk A Lot:

first and foremost, the math in the paper is Incredibly Thorough.  dream gave the Abridged Version in his video bc i doubt most people read the entire thing.  but if you read the paper, you’ll see the author point out what calculations the mods did wrong and, more importantly, why they were wrong and how they fixed it.  you’ll also notice that they mentioned several times that the results the author calculated did match some of that of the mods’ calculations.  we love reproducibility.

questioning the credibility of the author is a waste of time and energy.  they’re Anonymous for a reason.  imagine getting a fucking doctorate in statistics (an additional 4-8 years of study after college in the US) and your biggest paycheck of the year comes from some dude in florida who plays minecraft for a living.  jokes aside, you can argue in circles about “oh dream bribed the expert” but the intentions of the author and purpose of the paper are clearly stated in the first couple pages.  before all the math stuff.  people were so quick to believe the stuff in the paper the volunteer mods put out.  why not believe the expert too?

there is a greater lesson here to be learned about bias.  both for and against dream.  it was Incredibly Concerning to see So Many People immediately jump to “dream cheated 100%” or “dream would never cheat he’s the best” before understanding all of the facts.  i’ll admit, even i fell into this trap before i took a step back from the situation to look at the big picture.  we all have biases, many of which we aren’t even aware of.  but it’s always important to recognize those biases and account for them as much as possible before drawing conclusions, especially those that have real world implications.  it’s also important to listen to Experts and those who Know More Than You.  sometimes you just have to shut up and listen.  you’re not going to know everything and that is Fine as long as you are open to Learning from those with credibility and knowledge.  you’re going to make mistakes and have opinions you’ll later look back on and *cringe* and all of that is fine because we are all Growing and Learning. 

aight let’s talk about the mods.  i’ve already like vented in the tags of a post from like 2 week ago and my point still stands.  statistics is Very Difficult to Do and unfortunately is an Incredibly Powerful Tool.  there is No Right Way to do stats.  the data is unbiased but the analysis and interpretation of that data can be.  once again, that’s why it’s important to account for your biases.  the mods tried.  i’ll give them credit, i really do believe they Tried.  but unfortunately trying sometimes just isn’t Good Enough.  statistics can be weaponized to push forward an agenda, whether or not the author intended it.  i know that this is “just minecraft” and it only affects “one person” but inaccurate publications or misrepresentations of data have Real Life Consequences.  one Disproven and publicly denounced paper had people Believing that vaccines cause autism, contributing to the antivax movement that is Once Again having an impact during coronatime.  the point is, the mods should’ve consulted a professional.  someone with credentials about their math.  there is no doubt in my mind that they knew the fallout that was to come.  the drama this would stir up.  there was Obvious, Documented bias against dream from the beginning.  i’m sure there were people who wanted to take him down at least a peg or two.  but once again, that’s no excuse to publish this without consulting a Credible Expert.  i’m going in circles now you get the point, academic integrity is Very Important.  also News Outlets have reported on this, overall shedding a pretty negative light on the minecraft speedrunning community as a whole, which also harms the mods too in my opinion.

finally, let’s talk about dream.  if you don’t like him, that’s fine.  it’s Okay to Not Like Someone.  to Stop Watching their content.  to Stop Supporting Them.  dream responded incredibly immaturely to this entire situation, as we have seen him do Multiple Times before.  personally, i don’t believe the excuse “i acted without thinking and i’m sorry” cuts it anymore, given his 14M subscriber count and 1M+ twitter followers.  he is a grown adult and should learn to conduct himself better publicly.  i have friends his age and this behavior in a professional setting, which for him twitter is because social media/ content creator is quite literally his job, would be Completely Unacceptable.  it’s perfectly valid to be angry and yell about it to his friends, hell i’d be Furious.  but he should know better than to tweet impulsively.  feel free to draw your own conclusions on him as a CC and public figure.  please do.  i know “cancel culture” has deviated from it’s Original Meaning (much like the term “stan” has too) but hold content creators accountable for their actions.  do not blindly defend him.  at the same time, acknowledge that he is a young adult who is still growing and learning.  these two ideas can and should coexist.  however, ***do not accept apologies that are not yours to accept***.  shut up and listen to others who know more than you about a particular thing.  think for yourselves.  draw your own conclusions but always be willing to Grow if/when you Learn New Information.

the world is Complicated.  i’m sorry.  i wish it were easier too.

in conclusion, i can’t believe *this* is the first time i’ve used statistics knowledge outside of an academic setting and in the Real World.  2020 is fucking wack.  if you’ve made it this far, thank you for coming to my incoherent ted talk.  no one is going to read this whole thing and i’ve accepted that.

[page-doctor-bekker]

transfemme!sarah au

thinking about transfemme!sarah

literally coming up with this au on the fly but here you go

this is literally so long but whatever i like it

there are a couple trigger warnings in this (suicide, hate crimes), they’re listed in bold italicized writing before and after the trigger so you can easily skip them. this is in bullet point format.

anyways i love this and i'm obsessed with it so enjoy! first chicago med au. it doesn't really have a name yet but i'm tagging it transfemme!sarah for now

from the minute sarah was born she was definitely different, and her parents actually had her tested for autism

then got her tested again when the first one was negative. and then again when the second one was negative.

her parents were actually so positive that she was autistic that finally one of the psychologists ended up giving her a PDDNOS (pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) diagnosis until a therapist suggested gender dysphoria

i mean back then kids weren’t trans they were just Troubled(tm)

so up until she was about nine or so they figured she just didn’t have enough care for social cues that she didn’t understand gender enough to act like a boy instead of acting like a girl. she refused to wear “boy’s” clothes which was mistaken for sensory issues, had anger issues and outbursts that were mistaken for meltdowns, they really thought she was autistic

i mean. she pretended to breastfeed baby dolls for christ’s sake.

anyways once her therapist figured this out, she was discharged and transferred to a gender specialist psychologist who revoked the pddnos diagnosis and switched it to a gender dysphoria diagnosis

sarah’s mom was completely on board and had quietly suspected it herself but her dad

hooo boy her dad

her dad hated the idea so much that he basically walked out and never came back

sarah started going by sarah because she loved sarah from hocus pocus

anyways she was 9 when she changed her name and she moved schools because she was getting bullied

when she was 10 all her girl friends at her new school started growing boobs and getting their periods and sarah started getting really depressed

which ultimately lead her mom to take her to an endocrinologist that specialized in gender diverse care

and she started puberty blockers

sudden new issue: sarah is terrified of needles. her childhood vaccines caused full-blown panic attacks and the blockers were no different.

she is horrifically stubborn and determined to make this work though

so she kept going. and every week she had a panic attack and had to skip her injections a couple times because she just couldn’t handle it

but eventually, her panic attacks got less and less overwhelming with the help of being prescribed a benzo to take fifteen minutes before her injection. eventually once she could handle the injections with the help of the benzo, they tapered it off until she could 100% handle needles sober. this took close to two years, but she did it.

(side note - this positive experience with exposure therapy was why she was so keen on trying it during s3 with dr charles)

so at this point she’s about twelve and still feels left out from her peers. she’s going into middle school, her friends are all growing up physically and she just feels left behind

her mom tries to convince her that some girls are just late bloomers, she can still fit in even if she waits to go on estrogen, nobody is going to suspect a thing, etc etc etc

but it gets really bad. her dysphoria gets terrible and she starts having panic attacks so severe that she had to leave school and be homeschooled.

SUICIDE TW UNDER HERE

then sarah attempts suicide

she spends about a month in the psych ward to recover, and ultimately the doctors advised starting low dose hormone replacement to alleviate her dysphoria

SUICIDE TW OVER

sarah cried when she had her first estradiol injection, but this time it was happy tears, not tears of panic

she had injections weekly, and as she started to see changes she got so, so much happier

fat redistributed, her skin got softer, she even started to grow breasts. lots of fun stuff.

they later added progesterone for more effects when she was in highschool

also in highschool she found out she was a lesbian. not important rn but that did happened

her graduation gift from her mom was breast augmentation surgery <3 congratulations sarah ily

after all that, she finally decided she wanted to go into medicine.

so she started college and moved to chicago

the first year of college, she was out and proud and even had an officer position at the gsa on campus

HATE CRIME TW

in her second year she was the victim of a pretty bad hate crime committed by a group of frat boys on campus. she was attacked walking home from a party at night.

HATE CRIME TW OVER

while she recovered from that experience, both mentally and physically, she had to take a gap year from college and move back home with her mother

her mother persuaded her to finish her degree closer to home, so sarah stayed home for the last two and a half years of college, and upon graduating college, she decides to move back to chicago for med school

this time she stays closeted because she has ptsd from college

first three years are uneventful but she does quietly get a bottom surgery consult, but she decides not to move forward for awhile

and that brings us to season one

alrighty season one

as we know there’s a lil mild homophobia and whatnot in the hospital and as a result of that, sarah deals with some lovely compulsive heterosexuality and is still extremely closeted

so she dates joey even though she is most definitely a lesbian in denial but she doesn’t tell him she’s trans out of fear

then things with joey get even more serious and he wants to get intimate with her, so he makes an advance one night when they’re home watching a movie

so she lies her way out of it, says she’s waiting for marriage and not ready and blah blah blah

total lies

she’s a lesbian and she knows this

so anyways she breaks up with him right after she graduates med school, quits pathology to avoid him, and mourns the loss for a bit before she realizes

she wants to move forward with bottom surgery

so she schedules an orchiectomy and has that done during the time before she was hired by dr. charles

for laymen, an orchiectomy is the removal of the the testicles :) typically the first step in multi-stage bottom surgery, which is where you do each stage of bottom surgery at different times

anyways it fits into the timeline because recovery from that procedure takes less than a week

then dr charles hires her for s2, events of s2 go as written

then the sexy ava bekker moves to chicago med from south africa and sarah is SMITTEN

anyways i should probably stop here and avoid spoilers

well whatever i'm open to asks abt this <3

[jail-crow-of-mandos]

Is Caranthir Autistic Or Am I Just Projecting: An Autobiography

Yup, here it is. My long-promised autistic Caranthir meta. Although I’m not sure how much of a meta it can be considering Caranthir is only mentioned by name 24 times in the entire Silmarillion, outside of the name index at the end. So here’s the plan: we’re gonna go through every time he’s mentioned and see if it tells us anything about potentially being autistic.

Before we begin. here is the DSM list of requirements for being diagnosed as autistic. Considering how few times we see Caranthir doing stuff in day to day life, odds are we won’t get to the level required for full diagnosis, but it certainly can help support it as a theory.

Requirements:

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction,

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships

At least two of the following: Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech, Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior, Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus, Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment

Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life)

Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

With that being said, let’s start at the beginning:

“The seven sons of Fëanor were Maedhros the tall; Maglor the mighty singer, whose voice was heard far over land and sea; Celegorm the fair, and Caranthir the dark; Curufin the crafty, who inherited most of his father’s skill of hand; and the youngest Amrod and Amras, who were twin brothers, alike in mood and face. In later days they were great hunters in the woods of Middle-earth; and a hunter also was Celegorm [...]”

“[Regarding the Oath] Thus spoke Maedhros and Maglor and Celegorm, Curufin and Caranthir, Amros and Amras, princes of the Noldor [...]”

Okay these two tell us absolutely nothing about Caranthir in particular, at least for this particular topic. Moving swiftly along.

“But Caranthir, who loved not the sons of Finarfin, and was the harshest of the brothers and the most quick to anger, cried aloud: ‘Yea more! Let not the sons of Finarfin run hither and thither with their tales to this dark Elf in his caves! Who made them our spokesmen to deal with him? And though they be come indeed to Beleriand, let them not so swiftly forget that their father is a lord of the Noldor, though their mother be of other kin”

Now we’re finally getting to the good part. Let’s start at the beginning. “Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity”. Yep. To put that in layman’s terms, it means to have trouble understanding how to navigate conversations in a normal way, often talking out of turn or speaking too harshly. This falls into both of those. On top of that, it also shows signs of “Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships”. He is clearly misreading the situation and attacking Angrod for no real reason outside of being mad about everything. This is not how you speak to a stranger, especially not a diplomat. 

One could even argue that it could show signs of “Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior”” and “Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction”. The former could be argued because one could say that he has fallen into a comfortable pattern, and the idea of changing it is deeply distressing to him, hence why he lashed out. The idea of changes happening that he didn’t directly have a say in causes him to panic and react with anger. As far as the latter one goes, given Maedhros’s initial response to Angrod as well as him trying to calm Caranthir down afterwards, one can reasonably assume that his body language was telling his brothers to stay calm and cordial. Caranthir either ignored this deliberately (which would strengthen the prior argument that he struggles maintaining and understanding relationships, given the authority Maedhros has over him) or he simply could not pick up on the nonverbal cues that Maedhros was giving.

“Now the people of Caranthir dwelt furthest east beyond the upper waters of Gelion, about Lake Helevorn under Mount Rerir and to the southward; and they climbed the heights of Ered Luin and looked eastward in wonder, for wild and wide it seemed to them were the lands of Middle-earth. And thus it was that Caranthir's people came upon the Dwarves, who after the onslaught of Morgoth and the coming of the Noldor had ceased their traffic into Beleriand. But though either people loved skill and were eager to learn, no great love was there between them; for the Dwarves were secret and quick to resentment, and Caranthir was haughty and scarce concealed his scorn for the unloveliness of the Naugrim, and his people followed their lord. Nevertheless since both peoples feared and hated Morgoth they made alliance, and had of it great profit; for the Naugrim learned many secrets of craft in those days, so that the smiths and masons of Nogrod and Belegost became renowned among their kin, and when the Dwarves began again to journey into Beleriand all the traffic of the dwarf-mines passed first through the hands of Caranthir, and thus great riches came to him.”

So this is the part that led to all of the Caranthir loving money jokes, which ultimately led to there being a Caranthir/money tag on AO3. (No, really.) That said, there’s a lot to unpack here. First of all, it’s pretty reasonable to think that Caranthir’s love for planning and economics go beyond average, so let’s assume for a moment that economics are his special interest. This would fill the third elective requirement: “Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus”. Or, in other words, having a special interest. But beyond that, him not even trying to hide his distaste for the Dwarves clearly shows a lack of basic diplomacy, which we’ve been over before. He has severely lacking social skills. Plus, choosing to be hostile towards a group that have the exact same interests as him proves that he struggles with change, or at the very least forming interpersonal bonds, even if he did form an alliance with them in the end (which only goes to show how strong his special interest is).

“Therefore the Noldor held strength of cavalry In the plains at that place; and the people of Caranthir fortified the mountains to the east of Maglor's Gap. There Mount Rerir, and about it many lesser heights, stood out from the main range of Ered Lindon westward; and in the angle between Rerir and Ered Lindon there was a lake, shadowed by mountains on all sides save the south. That was Lake Helevorn, deep and dark, and beside it Caranthir had his abode; but all the great land between Gelion and the mountains, and between Rerir and the River Ascar, was called by the Noldor Thargelion, which signifies the Land beyond Gelion, or Dor Caranthir, the Land of Caranthir; and it was here that the Noldor first met the Dwarves. But Thargelion was before called by the Grey-elves Talath Rhúnen, the East Vale.”

Okay this one might be a bit of a stretch, but one could argue that Caranthir choosing to live beneath the mountains and in a notably dark region could indicate a sensitivity to bright lights, which would qualify as a sensory sensitivity. Even if not, though, we already have the required two of the four electives.

“At that time [Celegorm and Curufin] were from home, riding with Caranthir east in Thargelion [...]”

And this tells us absolutely nothing.

“But seven days later, as the Orcs made their last assault and had already broken through the stockade, there came suddenly a music of trumpets, and Caranthir with his host came down from the north and drove the Orcs into the rivers.

Then Caranthir looked kindly upon Men and did Haleth great honour; and he offered her recompense for her father and brother. And seeing, over late, what valour there was in the Edain, he said to her: 'If you will remove and dwell further north, there you shall have the friendship and protection of the Eldar, and free lands of your own.'

But Haleth was proud, and unwilling to be guided or ruled, and most of the Haladin were of like mood. Therefore she thanked Caranthir, but answered: 'My mind is now set, lord, to leave the shadow of the mountains, and go west, whither others of our kin have gone.'”

One could probably argue that Haleth was Caranthir’s only friend outside of his immediate family, which certainly indicates a struggle in forming bonds. That being said, he did pretty good here. I’m proud of him :))

“Maglor joined Maedhros upon Himring; but Caranthir fled and joined the remnant of his people to the scattered folk of the hunters, Amrod and Amras, and they retreated and passed Ramdal in the south. Upon Amon Ereb they maintained a watch and some strength of war, and they had aid of the Green-elves; and the Orcs came not into Ossiriand, nor to Taur-im-Duinath and the wilds of the south.”

While this is a very interesting passage for Caranthir’s characterization, it has nothing to do with him potentially being autistic, so we can move on.

“The sons of Ulfang the Black were Ulfast, and Ulwarth, and Uldor the accursed; and they followed Caranthir and swore allegiance to him, and proved faithless”

Poor Caranthir can’t catch a break, can he? But yeah of course he chooses the people who end up being the least loyal. Certainly indicates a lack of character judgement, which falls under not understanding nonverbal communication.

“There fell Celegorm by Dior's hand, and there fell Curufin, and dark Caranthir”

RIP. But it doesn’t really tell us anything.

Obviously, we can’t know what he was like during childhood development, nor can we know what underlying conditions he may have. However, given how many alliances he fucked over or nearly fucked over with his bad social skills, it’s fair to say that his autistic traits would have clinical significance. So, in conclusion, while nothing can be said for certain, it is reasonable to think that Caranthir is autistic.

[nagichi-boop]

My ear feels weird when people talk and idk why

I dunno how long I've had this issue - a few years at least - but sometimes when people talk (either irl or in a video), there's a weird throb in my ear. It's kind of like a speaker with bass, so whenever there's an increase in noise, it happens.

I dunno whether it hurts per se, but it feels extremely uncomfortable and sometimes I have to cover my ears a little bit, or if it's a device making the voice, I may back away from it and/or turn the volume down.

I tried looking it up and the first result was tinnitus, but it was describing a rhythmic throbbing (like a heartbeat), but the sensation I feel in my ear happens in time with the voice, not a constant rhythm.

I adjusted the search and it mentioned hyperacusis, but that mentioned stuff like dogs barking, fire alarms, etc causing the discomfort, not voices.

I don't know if it's a sensory issue, but I've tagged conditions that can cause sensory issues just in case it is. I think I do have sensory issues, but so far I don't think I've never seen someone mention voices being a cause of sensory issues. It's never gotten me to a meltdown stage, but sometimes, as I said, I cover my ears because of how uncomfortable it is.

The only other thing I can think of is maybe I just have clogged up ears? Idk, I really have no idea at this point what the cause is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry this is long. My parents keep saying it's normal, but I'm not sure they get how uncomfortable it is. I don't see them covering their ears because of someone's voice. Then again, maybe they do and maybe I'm just overreacting when everyone experiences this.

(Didn't know how to tag this, so I just included a mix. Idk if this is a neurodivergent thing, a separate medical condition, or just an overreaction. Please let me know if you think a tag should be removed for irrelevance.)

Update: Just found several websites that say hyperacusis can be linked to autism. Not saying that's what I have, but it's interesting.