#i have no clue if my thought process is coming across in this post so uhhhh

[chaseisglitched]

im lowkey convinced Higgins is a reason why Marvin is a magician in the first place

Higgins literally says "There’s still all the how and why the man got those incredible powers to be told"

There is a how and a why to Marvin having powers which is an interesting way to put it. it's suggesting that Marvin probably wasn't born with magic and there is a reason why he was gifted it/has it i guess

and also the "dream" and Higgins' "grand form" he mentions which is when Marvin first saw him. like does Marvin remember this? Marvin do you know your cat is not normal right???

[transchesters]

sam and castiel spend their evening talking, leading dean to discover sam can speak ennochain, and sam doesn’t know what love means. inspired by this post from @wendibird !

"do you ever miss heaven? the way it used to be?" sam asks, lifting his eyes from the current men of letter's record that he is reading so he can meet castiel's eyes. the angel sits across the table from him sam and dean had just gotten back from a hunt, one that was pretty cut and dry, and now he and castiel are engaging in their own reading and research, enjoying the quiet company of one another while dean showers.

castiel glances up as well, setting down the leather-bound book he has been purusing. his brow furrows in the way it often does, the way that sam can't help but smild fondly at. "sometimes i do, yes," he answers after a moment of thought. "but then i recall that heaven was never..." he trails off, as if searching for the right words. "heaven was never as ideal and perfect as i had believed. i was ignorant and blinded by my devotion to my father, but with time and distance i have come to realize that heaven was not the home i thought it was."

sam nods silently, feeling a certain understanding for the slight grief he thinks he observes in castiel. "did you ever meet him? god, i mean?"

a fond, perhaps bittersweet smile pulls at castiel's lips as he nods. "yes. when i was created, he brought me down to earth and spoke to me about mankind. he entrusted me to care for his most beloved creations."

it's then that dean is steps into the doorway, pausing there at the domestic scene before him. he can’t help himself from eavesdropping, because what on earth could these two be talking about that has them looking all… lovey-dovey? as his brain processes the last things spoken, he realizes... he has no idea what the hell castiel had been saying. a confused expression pinches his face. had he been hearing things?

"how long ago was that?"

"you would not believe me if i told you."

"it used to be hard for me to comprehend just how old you are, or the earth and angels in general," sam starts, his own brow pinching a little, "back when we first met you. before... before the cage. but i think i understand better now." dean darts his eyes back and forth as the conversation continues, chills running down his back which cause goosebumps to erupt over his arms. as he watches, sam and castiel are switching from speaking english to... something else, and dean has no clue what.

actually, with a sudden realization, he does have a clue.

"your time there, it must have felt like... centuries. no wonder your ennochian is so good. does it bother you to speak it? i cannot imagine you have good memories of the language."

sam blinks, as if shocked by castiel’s compliment, which helps him ignore the memories that do in fact resurface. "really?" he asks, still oblivious to the minor panic attack he and castiel are subjecting dean to. "most of the time, i don't even realize i'm speaking ennochian. it just… happens, i guess. but i do like speaking it with you. i get to make new memories, with you." he doesn't try to hide the warmth behind the words as he usually does.

dean slams his book shut, suddenly unable to remain quiet. "you speak what? since when?!"

sam and castiel are both startled by the sudden exclamation, glancing over at the eldest winchester in sync, which makes dean wonder just how much he’s been missing.

"since the cage," sam answers after a moment, his brow furrowed. "i… guess i forgot to mention it."

dean scoffs, full of disbelief. "dude, what the hell? you can speak some weird, angelic language and forgot to mention it?"

"actually, the ennochian that sam speaks is even older than the tongue i am used to," castiel speaks up, as if that were a fact that would help diffuse the situation. now sam and dean both turn their confused glances at the angel, though dean is much more perturbed than sam.

"i didn’t know that," sam mumbles, sounding thoughtful at this new information. "i guess it makes sense, though. i learned from lucifer and michael, and they probably spoke a much older tongue than most angels." the names fall from his lips, coated in pain, but he ignores it.

castiel gets the sense that sam doesn't want to dwell on those names and that pain, so he just nods in agreement. "yes, i think that's the case."

"alright, y'know what, that's enough freakiness for me for the night. sam, we'll talk about this later." dean shakes his head as if disappointed, groaning as he turns on his heel and soon disappears down the hallway leading to his room. as usual, he doesn't notice the pinched and pained expression he's caused on sam's face.

sam heaves a sigh, folding his hands on the table in front of him and staring down at them as if they would provide some sort of answers. he flinches when, suddenly, castiel’s hand envelops his own.

"he speaks rashly, sam, and does not mean it maliciously," castiel says gently, meeting sam’s multicolored eyes with a smile. "he doesn’t understand."

sam tries to relax under castiel's touch and his gaze, his eyes so full of warmth and the understanding he doesn't get from his brother. but he doesn't want to think about dean right now; instead, he considers the fact that he and this wonderful angel have been dancing around whatever this was for quite some time now. but sam feels like they might be reaching a point they can't ignore any longer.

"cas…" sam trials off, because what is he supposed to say here? everything about this is wrong. castiel isn't supposed to think of him this way, isn't supposed to look at him with such fondness. "don't look at me like that. i'm just some human."

now it's castiel's turn to look pained, and he sits forward in his seat, leaning closer to the other. "sam, please, don't say such things about yourself. you are not filth."

sam's lips part in shock, but his clenching stomach stops him from speaking. "filth? i thought…" he swallows painfully and shakes his head. "lucifer called me that. i thought it meant human."

castiel lets out a sharp exhale, feeling a ball of rage grow in his stomach. "no. it doesn't." sam nods silently, leaning back in his seat which makes their hands pull apart. castiel can't help but chase the contact.

"don't we both deserve some comfort, after all of this? can't you see that i love you, very deeply, and i'm tired of hiding it?"

sam blinks, his brow furrowed as he tries to place some of the words he can't recognize. "love?" he repeats, the ennochian word foreign on his tongue. "what is that word? i don't think i've heard it." he grows even more confused when castiel gazes at him with a profound sadness. the angel squeezes his hand, almost tight enough to be painful, but sam doesn't complain.

"love. it means love, sam. i was saying that i love you."

[9w1ft]

i need help. i’m so slow at unpacking the songs & their lyrics but you guys seem so confident that Kaylor lives. mind sharing lyrics or interpretations that you make you feel confident?

i think i speak for a lot of kaylors when i say we weren’t going into this album thinking we were all in some make or break situation, where the songs would be what decides whether or not kaylor lives. and we haven’t come out of it feeling different! so for starters, the very process of processing the songs is a bit different, i think, than the process suggested in your question.

this post got kinda long so i’m going to put it under the cut! and just a tl;dr that i am just talking about this aforementioned process. i’ve started writing out interpretations for the songs that have caught my kaylor attention but it’s taking time, so i thought id go ahead and post the other aspect of my answer in the meantime

a big part of kaylor interpretation is taking a look at what taylor and karlie were doing over the period of time that an album was written and the lead up to album rollout, and seeing if it looks like karlie knew in advance about what would be on the album, or how it would be promoted. the fundamental idea is that if taylor and karlie truly hated each other like everyone insists, that they wouldn’t go out of their way to drop hints or allow one another to drop hints.

so for example, karlie started wearing this pair of sunglasses with the product name “poet” before the name of the album (the tortured poets department) was ever known. she walked in two schiaparelli runway shows (the significance being that these days its rare for her to walk a show, and she’s never walked for schiaparelli before although she’s been to their shows in years of late), one of these schiaparelli shows was specifically alien themed, which lines up with the theming of Down Bad, and then next taylor announced the tortured poets department at the grammys wearing custom schiaparelli (i don’t think taylor’s ever worn the house before). so like, these sorts of things don’t make sense until later but they are signs we look to as a backdrop when going into an album. they are a sort of most recent indicator of the state of the union.

historically (especially post 2019 when what i call the scorched earth narrative was disseminated) people looking to disprove kaylor tend to brush off this stuff (twinning, similar theming or messaging in social media, etc) as oh it’s coincidental, but even if it’s not, any kaylor things that happen now are just because taylor is grieving and desperate for karlie and/or karlie wants notoriety because she wants… more money. but as i’ve said and as many have said for the past 5 years, it makes no sense and is such a misread of drivers for karlie and taylor. i beg people to try and put themselves in karlie’s shoes and ask themselves, would you endure all the hate for… more… money?? would you fly across the country and go to taylor’s concert two weeks post-partum, in a state of physical disrepair just to… spite her?? and have millions of people send hate at you for it..?

anyway, i know this is different than lyric analysis but it’s an integral part of kaylor analysis so i wanted to highlight it. i’d also point out that a whole bunch of people are currently analyzing her entire back catalog re: matty context clues in the same ways so 🤷🏻‍♀️ i think it’s a natural tendency for a lot of people— with kaylor though it’s outlawed.

and i want to reiterate that i think observing the time surrounding the album is a particularly worthwhile thing to do because it takes into account a more recent period of time than that of which the songs represent. i think people can get tunnel vision analyzing an album or individual songs and lose sight of the fact that we are here now after the album has been written. the lyrics are not the most recent thing!

another point i feel that needs mentioning is that with kaylor, among kaylors, we are looking at recent albums more for signs of taylor weaving a story of them that leads to them getting back together publicly. the idea that we are probably not going to get some big reveal that oh everything prior was fake! we have always been together! but rather some separate telling of events that preserves the integrity of people involved to some extent. so there are likely several layers going on when looking at songs. a mix of truth and augmented truths. songs can be useful towards meeting an end goal without telling the entire truth, while the fact that they are useful is still an indicator of the meta truth. i know this sounds a little convoluted... but thats alright im not invested in proving it to people 🙈 (nor do i think it should be provable!!)

lastly, while i am still compiling all my kaylor observations from each song, i did want to point out the obvious: that my understanding of the album (and i assume this is true for more kaylors as well) is colored by the inclusion of the song Robin. …i guess i will mince my words a little bit because i consider it a sensitive subject but basically, it’s a song about something that we would expect taylor would be singing about if they’re together in the way we understand it to be, given what we have been shown. and some of the lyrics are so specific to this… far flung idea… and such a contemporary development… that it sort of works to recontextualize any of the songs on ttpd that would otherwise feel breakuppy? because it pushes the story so far forward in matching our understanding. the hardest songs are easier to see as emblematic of the past, and the path that led us here to the present. in this way, at least for me, it makes it easier to appreciate the kaylor easter eggs going on in the songs as emblematic of kaylor, as opposed to litigating them and filing them one by one, because i truly believe taylor would not release Robin if kaylor was actually over. same goes for recurring motifs throughout the album (and midnights, and you might also include folkevermore as well) related to what robin is about. might sound weird to say but you could almost make a drinking game out of the motif, honestly, given how often she does it throughout the album.

i know the whole thing is wild. i have accepted this and im not out here to push it on people 😌 though i do leave the porch light on for people passing by. because for years now, with each new album people continue to say oh this is the kaylor breakup album, oh she’s finally over it, and then i guess they get amnesia by the time the next album comes along and kaylor themes yet again persist. and idk, to me, kaylor just being together this whole time is actually one of the least complicated outcomes.

anyways, in conclusion, apologies for not providing a song by song analysis right away 🙏 but i wanted to put out this part in the meantime. i don’t expect everyone to agree with this premise but i think it’s key to understanding how a lot of us approach this album. i hope it provides a little insight into my perspective! 🫶

[parkerrogersgirl]

Birds of a Feather- Chapter 3

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: you're stationed at Top Gun with your brother's long time best friend/your forever crush, Bradley. When you finally realized that your feelings were unrequited, you settled for Adrian. But what happens when Rooster reveals the truth about the man you thought loved you endlessly?

A/N: HI GUYS! I'M BACK!! Again, if y'all didn't see my post earlier, I am very sorry for the long hiatus, I have had no motivation. But! This is one of 3 new chapters this week! Please enjoy, reblog, and give feedback! This is not beta read

Warnings: fluff, pining, cheating, language, angst

Word Count: 1,460

---------------------------

Reader’s POV

You wake up the next morning feeling more well-rested than you have in months. Leaving Adrian last night had given you such peace of mind that you were finally able to fall asleep without worrying about the man next to you. As you wake, you realize there’s an arm around your waist, but it feels different than it usually does. You feel safe. Warm. You slowly reach down and put a hand on top of the one across your belly. You hear a groan and feel stirring behind you.

“Morning, sweet girl,” he says against your hair before ruffling it, “how’d you sleep?”

You stretch for a moment and sit up, turning to look at him, “I slept wonderfully. I don’t remember the last time that happened. Thank you for everything you did for me last night.”

He puts a hand on your knee, “well, since Mav gave us yesterday off, we have to go in today. It’s pretty early, but if you want to take a shower, I’ll make us coffee and breakfast. Take your time.” He kisses your forehead and gets out of bed, leaving you to your thoughts as you bring yourself to take a shower. Once the water is a temperature akin to the surface of the sun, you step in and let the extremely hot water wash away all of the drama.

----------------------

Rooster’s POV

Once he’s changed into his flight suit, Bradley goes downstairs and starts on breakfast. As someone who can’t actually cook, he figures pancakes are the easiest option that he won’t mess up. As he assembles all of the ingredients, he lets his mind wander to last night. Now that Adrian was out of the picture, how long should he wait before he confessed his feelings? There’s probably not a statute of limitations on dating your best friend after a bad breakup, right? You had told him things had been “off” for a while. Were you giving permission? Or were you just venting? If he did tell you, would you be okay with it? Would you leave and go stay with someone else?

He hears you coming down the stairs as he finishes plating the pancakes, and resolves to tell you after work. Enough had happened yesterday that needed to be processed on its own, and you needed to be able to focus on work. He could wait.

“ROOSTER! You know you’re not allowed to cook!” You shout from the doorway to the kitchen, rushing over to see the damage. 

He rolls his eyes, “listen, smartass. Pancakes are easy. I only burnt the first two, and I tossed them so you didn’t have to eat them. Now sit down and eat your goddamn breakfast before I take it back and bring it into work. I’m sure the Daggers would love my cooking. They’ll eat anything.” He brings the plate to the island counter in the middle of the kitchen, and you sit down and take a bite, immediately recoiling.

“Roo, you’re my best friend, but I don’t even think Payback and Coyote would eat these. What did you do?” You grab a paper towel from the roll on the counter and spit out your bite.

“What are you talking about? They’re fine.” He grabs one off the plate and takes a bite, then gags. “Jesus CHRIST what happened to these?” He grabs the box of pancake mix and starts scanning it for clues. 

You grab it from him and look at the top flap, gasping, “BRADLEY THIS PANCAKE MIX EXPIRED A YEAR AGO!” 

He shrugs and grins sheepishly, “coffee? I’ll buy.”

You grab your work bag, badge, and phone, then toss him his keys, “damn right you will.”

-------------

In the car, Rooster isn’t sure what to talk about after your coffee stop. He can’t tell you how gorgeous you look in your uniform. Your long, blonde hair is pulled back in a tight bun, and your flight suit is perfectly smoothed over. It’s still early enough that the sun is still coming up, and the light on your face is hypnotizing. Of course, Rooster is having these thoughts at a red light, and doesn’t notice when it changes to green. Nor does he notice the car behind him honking at him.

“Hello? Rooster? Green light, dude.” You wave a hand in front of his face and he shakes himself back to reality.

“Sorry, I spaced out,” he says as he continues driving. “Do you know what we’re flying today?”

“No idea. I just hope Hangman takes it easy on me today. I hate it when his WSO is out. Flying with him sucks.” 

He shoots you a sympathetic look as he pulls in to the gate and shows the security officer both of your badges, then pulls through in the direction of the hangar. “Do you want me to talk to him for you?”

“Oh my God, no. Don’t you dare. I’m dealing with enough, I don’t need him finding out I’m single and harassing me for my number. I’ll just sing Chappell Roan in my head or something.” 

He parks and you both head over to the building, and you hear your callsign echo from somewhere to your left. You both turn your head and roll your eyes. Of course Hangman would find you before you’d finished your coffee.

-------------

Reader’s POV

As you watch Hangman jog over to you, you start chugging your very strong coffee as fast as you can. 

“Jake, please. It’s so early and I’m not in the mood.”

He smirks as he reaches you, “what’s wrong, darlin’? I just came over to offer my condolences.”

You wince, “condolences for what?”

“Well, Adrian came by Hard Deck last night. Imagine my surprise when he was looking for you because you left him.”

“Yeah, Hangman, I left him. As in, no longer together. So just tell me what you want,” you tell him as you head to the locker room to put your bag up.

He pulls you to him before you can enter the locker room, “I was hoping you’d let me take you out for a celebratory dinner. And then an even more celebratory breakfast the next morning.”

“What exactly are we celebrating?” You try to pull away, but he’s got a hand on your arm. 

“You finally being single, I’ve been waiting for this.” 

You reach down and remove his hand from your arm, and you decide you’ve had enough. “You know what, Hangman? I am so, so sick of this shit. I’m not going to go out with you. Why do you think you’ve never gotten any luck with anyone in the Navy? It’s because we all know what kind of person you are. You’re an incredible pilot. There’s no question about that. But the way you treat people is the reason you have no fucking friends. Ever think you’d have better luck if you changed everything about yourself?”

“I just-”

“Jake, leave her alone,” you hear over your shoulder. You turn your head and see Rooster towering over you, “she’s going through a lot and she doesn’t need you all over her ass.”

“Alright, whatever. See you in the air,” Jake says as he scoffs and walks away. Once he’s gone, Bradley pulls you into a hug. It’s not as tight as the one yesterday, but it’s somehow better. You feel… safe. And the only thing you can think is that you want to feel this way with Bradley every day forever. 

------------

After a grueling day of flying with Jake, who wouldn’t speak to you unless it was an instruction, you shower in the locker room and go out to wait by Bradley’s Bronco. You were usually out first, but he’s already standing next to the rear bumper in his civvies.

“Ready? I was thinking we’d pick up some pizza and beer.” 

You high five him before making your way to the passenger’s side, “what a guy,” you say lovingly as you hop in. You order the pizza on your phone, then make a stop at a convenience store for beers before going to pick it up. 

Once you get to Bradley’s, you go straight to the living room and put the pizza and beer on the table. You hear him rummaging around in the kitchen and grab the remote, hoping to choose something before he comes back in the room. You successfully choose “Alien,” just to see how much Bradley will let you get away with in your state. You queue it up on the Netflix screen as Bradley walks in with extra ranch and marinara and sets it on the table. He sits next to you, looks at the TV, then back at you. 

“Actually, can we talk about something?”

------------------------------------------------

@my-emotional-self @thankyouforanonymity @supernaturaldean67 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @princess76179 @srgntjbarnes @jcc04220 @ilovethefandomwho-blog @a-tale-of-two-comics @magellan-88 @healojane @mizz-kraziii @lostinspace33 @esther-maslow-90 @astheskycries @turningtoclown @sonofadeanwinchester @roosterforme

[thisisyourprincipalspeaking]

I thought the girl who randomly screamed “Hey, America’s Ass” at him in person during the filming of one of his past projects, was doing the most. But to call him a “Boston Dumb Fuck” and not see how problematic that is, is maddening. Just wow at some folks.

Now let’s say Chris actually comes across that post. As a human, reading something about myself from a random stranger who is too naive to realize they see an image and have no clue as to what in like in real life would have me beefing up security.

Chris has displayed various sides of himself over the years. In the beginning of this mess people claimed he was purposely doing things to show how fake it was, but once he became publicly “married” people can’t deal with the possibility this may be real, so they play on the fence. They are here hoping it’s revealed to be PR while spewing vitriol towards him at the possibility of this being real, and how he’s possibly an asshole who picked the bottom of the barrel for a wife.

I don’t know what this situation is, but at this point I’ve stopped feeling mad at him because I simply don’t believe what’s being sold. I expect this to end whenever. I’m not getting myself worked up over something I feel is complete rubbish.

Wasting time making posts like that only demonstrates the “crazy” fan narrative they (Chris and team) tried to push in the beginning.

The general public doesn’t know what the fandom does, so anyone coming across posts like that will just think that person is an obsessed stan who is mad that their heart throb is now married to someone who isn’t them.

I be damned if I give someone I’ve never met my time and energy like that. My goodness that’s a lot to process. People really have no shame anymore.

i'm glad that you've been able to find a peaceful place to handle this saga. i hope that others are able to do the same.

you make some valid points. i agree that the gp doesn't know what happens in the fandom, and they never will . therefore anything they see coming from fandom spaces will be deemed crazy or unhinged because they don't have the same level of investment.

i think your best point is how fans posting certain types of content drives the "crazy fan" narrative . isn't it interesting that there has seemingly been an uptick of strange, almost baiting posts lately? something to think about.

[puppypeter]

(normal!Roy/famous!Jamie anon again)

WAAAAAHHHHHH YOUR MIIINDDD‼️‼️‼️😩😩💕💕💕 I was LITERALLY thinking about phoebe specifically when I brought up the privacy issues, you proposed the PERFECT angsty scenario for that concept!!!

And omg the galaaaaaa. I love love LOVE the almost cinderella-esque mystery of Roy, dark and handsome and dressed to the nines, and nobody having any clue who this man is!! (The Cinderella metaphor works because Roy's also a 'commoner' irl lol). I can just picture the entrance him and Jamie would make. With Jamie all smug and gorgeous and sparkly, it actually looks like ROY is the famous one with a hot young thing on his arm!!

And omg the angstttttttt. You so beautifully expanded on the layers of Jamie's gift giving as a love language AND as a means of compensation. Like, yes he loves spoiling the people he loves because he remembers what it was like to wonder if he could afford shoes that'll fit next year, let alone ridiculously frivolous expenses. BUT!!! I also think, as you so beautifully phrased it, that Jamie would often use money as a crutch when attempting to initiate relationships. Like, I think Jamies character is seen as sauve and charming in fanon, but I think there's a lot more evidence of him being pretty blunt in a way that comes across as obstinate. Alongside his more 'prickish' impulses, I think Jamie often skates by socially on his money/fame/good looks, but struggles to make true connections. Which is why his relationship with ROY, who doesn't know him as Jamie Tartt the footballer, is so precious to him - because Jamie doesn't feel like he has to perform!!!

I LOOOOVE EEE the way you explored this idea with the gift giving, and I ESPECIALLY love the idea that Jamie begins to pivot from extravagant gifts to extremely personal and thoughtful gifts the longer he gets to know Roy and fall for him. Narrative wise, the change in the things he offers Roy can coincide with the change in the way Roy sees him: from smug, rich prick who thinks he can buy Roy, to thoughtful, attentive partner who will do anything within his power to make Roy's life better.

ARGHHHHHHHH which would just make the angst potential of the post gala/post vulnerable diner date when Jamie seems like he's drawing back or reverting to the man Roy initially thought he was all the more juicy, ESPECIALLY if Jamie is ACTUALLY acting out of a misguided perception of Roy's best interests!!! Because Jamie has actually fallen in love with this man, and he can't bear the thought of selfishly pulling him into his world if Roy gets hurt in the process.

Qué the breakdown scene and the subsequent exploding confession from Roy of "You idiot, YOURE what I want!!"

Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh all your ideas are just so brilliant and vivid, thank you so so much for all your glorious input. AAAHHHHHH I LOVE THIS AU!!! 💕✨💕✨✨💕✨💕✨💕

(For anyone else curious here's the previous asks: part one, part two)

I could talk about this foreveeeeer :))))

My only thing with the gala is if we're assuming Jamie is out already or not-out-but-everyone-knows-he's-bi or just it's a gala for posh twats (roy cit.) where nobody cares or will say anything (but paps outside?). But I can totally picture arm candy Jamie, he'd have the season 3 boy-ish hair but be waiting that slutty mesh t-shirt Phil wore perhaps with the slutty leather pants Phil wore? and a bit of glitter somewhere just cause

"I think Jamie often skates by socially on his money/fame/good looks, but struggles to make true connections. Which is why his relationship with ROY, who doesn't know him as Jamie Tartt the footballer, is so precious to him"

I'm not in tears at all!! 😭😭😭😭 You explained it so well!! Like he's just some rich dude and maybe at some point he does explain the above and Roy is like 'you know you have been spending a lot on me' and Jamie almost hadn't realised he had fallen back on that as he genuinely just did it to spend as much time with roy as possible and only really was there for the company, where he felt seen as a person. Wanna make it even more painfully sweet? What if maybe Georgie used to work at a diner when Jamie was a baby and so being there with Roy kinda feels like a safe space as well, as Georgie was also surrounded by other older women (in this case the yoga mums) who all adored him and let him play around. Maybe one evening when they're still chatting early on so he doesn't have Roy's number etc he shows up and he's not there (family emergency or something?) and he's just a tired pouty baby post-match having eggs while face down on the counter from being sleepy and a few of the yoga mums just babying him a little and smirking at each other cause they know who he came back for (and they are of course plotting to finally get their Roy a partner!)

and yes imagine if the night post-gala at the diner was very close to an i love you / i am falling in love with you but left unsaid (kudos if they fall asleep in one of the booths and one of the yoga mums has to poke roy awake in the morning while giving him a knowing smile) and AND I think at some point in the previous jamie visits he needs to have met Phoebe (maybe Roy's sister was late back from her shift so Roy took her to work with him at 10pm waiting for her to come get her) just because I feel like Roy letting him in both by opening up but also by allowing him to know, if briefly, the two most important people in his life plays so well into the angst of Roy being mad at him for starting to disappear. Like I trusted you, I don't care about your fucking money etc kudos if Jamie was disappearing because of his shit dad threatening him and hurting him and maybe in the process stressing out how little Jamie is worth / nobody likes you / you're only good for your money etc which makes him even more insecure if Roy doesn't want him for his money then what does that mean? (It's a bit of a twist on the "If I am only good for football what am I without it?" but with money) and then Roy HAS to call him a stupid fucking idiot stupid twat what do you mean?? and list all the special things he loves about him while being super flustered

Please feel free to drop by my inbox any time!!

[acorpsecalledcorva]

The neuroplasticity (or lack there of) of CDDs is really interesting in how it manifests over time. Because in so many ways I really am still a 5 year old child quietly crying myself to sleep, or a 17 year old girl desperately trying to establish an identity of my own in a world that feels like it has no place for me awash a sea of hormonal changes (second puberty really hits so different and yet so similar). But it also really does afford the room for real growth and change.

That change comes at a cost though, which is that I constantly feel alienated from my past selves. I cannot remember what I used to think, or why I thought it, only what I did and said and maybe what I was interacting with and try to work out my thought process from that. It's like most people are playdough, constantly being reshaped to a lesser or greater degree but still containing all that they were, while I'm Lego, I can be disassembled and reconstructed, but the pieces are solid, adding new bricks as needed and discarding those that are not (or putting them in storage at least).

We are also, of course, products of our environment. When your life is marred by identity uncertainty, we look to our surroundings to give us clues of who we might be. When I was on Reddit and browsed /r/all I would see the occasional tumblrinaction post about the plural community, fictionkins, and IRLs and think "well that's definitely not me. Discovering I was trans and coming to terms with being a marginalised identity, it was discord communities that taught me what that could mean and what I should be ready to fight against. On twitter I was lucky, I found the traumacore/empty spaces community that helped me to process the images I saw in my head that I didn't understand, and use my trauma as a tool of creation.

Taking part in the system community, it was the older focused communities that helped me to understand myself. I honestly don't know what my syscourse stance was back then, if I even had one. There are aspects of the wider online community that just don't vibe with me, some were a little damaging, others were simply incomprehensible to me. Joining Tumblr definitely shoved it in my face though.

The only thing I can imagine is that I must have thought that endogenic plurality was this "other" thing, I knew about DID, what switching and fronting and host and protector and system meant in that context, but endogenic plurality was something else that didn't concern me and I hadn't really come across it yet. So I was absolutely confused as fuck when I came here and saw people using all those "DID" words to mean something else. When anti-endos said "you can't form a system without trauma" that made absolute sense to me at the time because system meant DID and that's caused by trauma, why are people claiming to have DID things and using DID words while also saying that they don't have DID? Actually I do still kinda think the terms should be separate but it's not a battle I can be fucked to argue about anymore.

Because the point is that while online spaces might not change all that much, and there will always be people who join those spaces and be influenced by the culture in them, there are always other spaces that will influence them differently. So while it's absolutely frustrating as fuck to see anti-endos repeating the same horrible origins discourse, and endos saying fucking awful stuff like "I think traumagenic systems cling to trauma as a cause because they feel insecure about being a system", we need to accept that it will still keep happening while the spaces exist and remember that the people from those spaces are the ones with the opportunity to change. To learn, to see things from a different perspective, and most importantly grow.

And if they refuse to? If they keep spouting the same points over and over and over again, refusing to back down or learn, reigniting old arguments and digging stuff up from the past because they just can't let go of it? Just leave them to it I guess, we'll all be off making ourselves and each other better ^^

[ltwharfy]

"Bob's Burgers" Season 1 Episode Ranking Rewatch (Long Post)

Remember that "Bob's Burgers" episode ranking spreadsheet that @babsvibes came out with a while back? No, well, that's okay. But I personally thought it was one of the coolest things ever.

I particularly love how it calculates average ratings for the seasons because, honestly, I have no freaking clue what my favorite season of "Bob's Burgers" is. I'm certain it's somewhere between seasons 3-10 (inclusive), but other than that, I couldn't say. Because it is an episodic comedy with a rather consistent high level of quality, the individual seasons don't feel that distinct to me. (Now ask me about seasons of "Buffy" or "Deep Space 9" and that's a totally different ballgame...) The writer and director ratings appeal to me for the same reason- I recognize the names of the writers but have never noticed enough variation to label one as a favorite (again, "Buffy" and"DS9" would be contrasts to this.)

But I quickly realized that I couldn't just sit down and rate all the episodes because, for a lot of them, I've never really thought about how good they were. I know the episodes I love and practically have memorized (hey, "Bob Actually", I see you) and I know the rare episodes I had a strong negative reaction. But, honestly, I hadn't thought about "The Hormone-iums" enough recently to be able to assign a number to it.

The solution to this is: rewatch! I'm rewatching every episode and entering a rating in the spradsheet within minutes of finishing it- the ratings are very much a gut reaction after watching the episode! I've finished rewatching season 1 and my thoughts on it are below (I'm also watching episodes I come across on cable when I have the time, so I do have some episodes from later seasons filled in and I'll share subsequent seasons as they get completed.)

Oh, and here's a word about what the ratings mean to me: I'm seeing this as a 1-5 scale that I could rate all TV shows, or even all types of entertainment, on. So, a 3 doesn't mean I think it's an average episode of "Bob's Burgers", it means I think it is an average episode of television. It means it's fine, I wouldn't turn it off if I wanted to watch TV and it was all that was on. I also think of the scale a lot like letter grades with 3= a C, 4=B, and 5=A. That also explains why I haven't actually rated anything a 2 or a 1 yet. The Belcher kids might get Ds on their report cards, but "Bob's Burgers" rarely makes D episodes, IMO.

Okay, if you actually read the several paragraphs of introduction, here are my Season 1 episode ratings (the episode rating is the number in the furthest right column):

The average (mean) for the season was 3.54 and the mode (most common rating) was 3.

Some thoughts on the season as a whole:

First, I think one of my less commonly-held opinions in "Bob's Burgers" fandom is that I don't think Season 1 was awful. It's not as great as the show would become but, honestly, I think it is far from the worst example of Early Installment Weirdness on a show that I love. I've watched the show since it debuted, and even in those early episodes I enjoyed it enough to keep coming back week after week. If it had been cancelled after season 1, I wouldn't've viewed it as a tragedy like "Firefly" or "Terriers", but I would've been annoyed because I thought it was a promising show that made me laugh sometimes and had some talented folks working on it.

Rewatching these early episodes, I still found a lot to enjoy about them. There are some classic storylines and jokes, and while there was definitely a process of fine-tuning that would continue through the first few seasons, I think most of the character's core personalities are pretty recognizable. (Bob is actually the character whose personality seems most different in my book. It was really Bob's personality and the general family dynamic that took the longest to figure out.)

Some thoughts on particular episodes:

One thing I noted while doing the ratings is that 3 can mean at least two different things to me. Sometimes, 3 just means the episode is meh; I'm kind of indifferent it to it but it's okay. "Torpedo" falls in that category. I have very little to say about "Torpedo". Other times, 3 is more of a mixed review, where I loved some things and hated others. An example of that would be "Human Flesh"- I hate the child molester and autism jokes. But I really enjoy other bits, like Hugo's poem, Bob's speech to the protestors that ends up going off the rails, the kids locking Bob out of the restaurant, etc. So, I just average out the good and the bad and give it a 3.

It was interesting comparing my feelings towards these episodes going into them versus the ratings I ended up giving them. I ended up enjoying "Sexy Dance Fighting" and "Sacred Cow" more than I thought I would. Can't really give a good explanation except "they were funnier than I remembered". With "Sacred Cow", I'll add that I really like Randy and his dynamic with Bob, and that, on rewatch, the episode wasn't as mean spirited towards vegetarians as I recalled it being (my sister has been a vegetarian for decades, so I hate when people make cheap shots at them.)

On the other hand, my ratings for "Hamburger Dinner Theater" and "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?" were lower than they would've been if I was just going from memory. For those two, the subsequent evolution of the show made me like them less than I did when they first aired. For "Hamburger Dinner Theater", I remember really liking the songs when it first aired...but the show has done so much more impressive musical work since then that I can't say it's songs elevate it. For "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?", I really dislike the mocking of Jimmy Pesto's diaper fetish towards the end of it. It just seems mean spirited and out of character for the show when compared to later seasons. Yeah, Jimmy's a jerk but we shouldn't mock his sex stuff.

I totally admit that the ratings are shaped by my own personal tastes, and maybe the best example of that is "Spaghetti Western and Meatballs" getting a 4. Why did it get a 4 rather than a 3? Mainly because its really the first episode where we see the softer side of Louise and realize how much her relationships with her family, especially her dad, mean to her, and I love that stuff.

EDITED TO ADD: "Art Crawl"! I can't believe that when I originally posted this I didn't mention anything about the first episode I give a 5. I wish I could give a better explanation than "I found it very funny: but that's pretty much it. It is one that I remembered considering a highlight back when I was first watching this season, and in this case, I found it even funnier than I remembered. I really enjoy Edith and Harold- their voices and hostility towards the Belchers crack me up- and this was a great introduction to them. I particularly love the scene when Edith refuses to let Harold drink water from Bob's Burgers. Oh, and this episode introduces Gayle, too, and does a great job with it! Just a solid, hilarious episode, IMO.

Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):

Gloria is my least favorite "Bob's Burgers" character. If you had asked me prior to the rewatch, I might say she has no redeeming moments on the show. But in "Crawl Space" she sticks up for Bob and Linda to Mr. Frond. So she has one good moment, in the show's second episode.

The bit of Early Installment Weirdness that bothers me the most? Ms. LaBonz's voice is off! Contrasting her appearance in "Lobsterfest" to her later appearances makes it clear how much the voice helps make the character.

I'm a big fan of the supporting characters in Louise's 4th grade class- Rudy, Kaylee, Arnold, Chloe, Millie, Jessica...so it is so weird that none of them are present in these early episodes but Large Tommy is! Weird to think that after Louise, he was first of those 4th graders to be introduced- he has a non-speaking role in the pilot episode!

Is there anybody out there who ships Normal Sized Jenny and Regular Sized Rudy? They've clearly got a lot in common....(This is a stupid joke. The last thing I need is another Rudy ship.)

I'll probably post something like this when I finish rating each season. The other posts will likely be shorter because they won't have the several paragraphs of introductory text at the beginning. Thanks for reading if you did!

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 28: The Last Hurrah

[Story Masterlist] // [Aitana’s Masterlist]

Fandom: Criminal Minds // Pairing: Spencer Reid x OFC

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​ @averyhotchner​​​​​​ @foxesandmagic @kmc1989​​​​​​

If you’d like to be a part of Aitana’s taglist, please let me know!

Also available on Fanfic ○ Ao3 ○ Wattpad

It was both curious and blatantly concerning for the team to be gathered around the conference table at such an early time. Penelope was the last to arrive and, unsurprisingly, was the most anxious of the group.

"I didn't get a file sent to me," she said first instead of her usual morning greeting. "Aitana didn't call me either, I...did a case go directly to Hotch?"

"Don't know," Rossi said, "But he's in his office with Serrano right now."

"What!?" Penelope practically shrieked, startling the entire group.

"Probably just talking," Seaver said for her comfort. "A case, you know?"

Penelope couldn't see it as clearly as Seaver. "No, no, a meeting this early? When's the last time this happened?"

Not surprising either, it was Spencer who answered. "Three years, 8 months ago."

The others exchanged glances with similar confusion.

"And what happened?" Seaver was the brave one to ask.

"Gideon left." Spencer knew the weight of his words for the others. It was his first thought when he got Hotch's message and it did not fade when he saw Aitana in Hotch's office either. They both seemed very grim and the last time something like that happened, somebody left the team.

Aitana hadn't given anyone a clue about what she had decided in relation to her position at the BAU but they all knew that she finally had her evaluation with Hotch a couple days ago. Who's to say that this meeting wasn't to announce her departure from the team?

~ 0 ~

"You understand that I don't support this decision?" Hotch looked directly at Aitana across his desk. He had tried coming up with a kinder way to say what had been decided over his head but it didn't matter what he said, Aitana understood.

"I get it," she assured him twice before Hotch felt some kind of guilt-release. "I mean...this has already happened before, right?" Hotch nodded silently. "They did it to JJ and she was way more qualified than I was. What did I really expect?"

"If I can help to change the decision, I'll try. They don't fool me," Hotch shook his head. "This is a sugar-coated ultimatum. Either you go work for them or—"

"I have some higher-up breathing down my shoulder for staying with a half job posting I'm not qualified to do," Aitana nodded. "Yeah, I got that too."

"Like I said, I'll do my best to—"

"Please don't," Aitana cut Hotch off. "The last thing I want is for anyone to get into trouble because of me." She also knew that his intervention wouldn't really be much help. His efforts to get JJ back to the BAU had not exactly gone so well and even though he was still technically trying, the efforts had begun to wane.

Aitana saw no point in continuing the conversation. Beside the fact that it was awkward as hell, she needed time to process. "Can I...go to my office for a moment?"

"Of course," Hotch motioned her towards the door. "I'll be talking to the team about the changes."

"Okay, I'll be there in a bit." Aitana rose from her chair and walked out of the office in a slow, almost monotonous, manner. She had a lot to process indeed.

~0~

Hotch walked into the conference room going straight to the point. The team had to be making up dozens of assumptions over their early meeting so it was better to just cut straight to it. "The Director called a meeting last night to discuss budgets."

"They skipped over Strauss?" Rossi asked, taken by surprise.

"She's away. The Bureau is facing a lot of changes and this unit is no exception. Over the next few weeks, each of you is going to be asked if you'd like to stay with the unit."

Penelope's eyebrows raised, her response coming out in a tumble. "Why wouldn't we?" She wanted to ask so badly why Hotch was even starting without Aitana present. If she thought of it, then the others had to have already asked themselves the same thing.

"There are other options for you out there," Hotch answered her plain and simple. "And while I want the unit to stay together, I understand completely if you want to see what the alternatives are."

"Have some of us already decided to leave?" Seaver asked and Penelope dared to think that she had done it to help her out. She almost mouthed a 'thank you' to Seaver.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss," Hotch cleverly said to avoid actually saying something conclusive.

Spencer, however, saw through the actual meaning. "So there is a change." Hotch met his gaze for only a second but it was enough to double confirm Spencer's assumption. It took very little to figure out where that change was happening.

"Morgan, there's renewed interest in you from the New York office," Hotch said, but Morgan almost scoffed.

"Nobody's called me."

"They will."

Morgan's expression turned incredulous fast. "That doesn't mean I'm gonna go."

Still peacefully calm, Hotch agreed. "Oh, I know."

"Are you staying here?"

"It's my intention," Hotch said, almost promising. "All I ask is if you are contacted by another division that you let me know."

There was a pause when Aitana stepped into the room. She could feel burning eyes with questions being thrown her way so she focused entirely on Hotch. "I just got a call. Virginia State police believe they've uncovered a serial killer. They need us at Zacha Road and Route 7 as soon as possible."

Hotch thanked her for the notice. "Morgan, you and Dave get out there."

"What about this?" Penelope quickly asked when the pair of agents started getting up to leave. This conversation wasn't even remotely close to being finished.

"We can talk about it later," Hotch said, getting up as well.

"I'm going to make a few calls," Aitana announced as she was already turning to walk out. Clear avoidance tactic,

Penelope was left to cross gazes with Spencer and Seaver because Hotch had gotten out of there quickly as well. She was helpless and possibly frightened. "What's happening?"

Neither agent had an answer for her.

~0~

Paige Hawley

Jake.

The case would turn out to go deeper than it being a lone serial killer. Aitana knew that the moment she spotted a familiar face walking into the bullpen. She had secluded herself in her office while she worked through the pending paperwork on her desk. There wasn't much the team could do until Rossi and Morgan examined the crime scene. Aitana expected Penelope to pop into the office soon enough and she had yet to come up with a good explanation for the questions Penelope would no doubt ask her.

When Penelope eventually did peek her head inside the office, it wasn't to ask her questions. "Hotch wants us in the conference room."

A life saver, thought Aitana. It would buy her a bit more time. "Okay, let's go." She got up from her seat, dumping a folder over her paperwork.

"Well hey," Penelope grabbed hold of Aitana's arm. "Is there something you need to tell us?"

Poor thing was full of concern that it made Aitana feel terrible. It's not your fault, she had to remind herself.

Aitana put on a small smile for her friend. "Nothing yet." She gingerly removed Penelope's hand from her arm and led the way out of the office.

Yet. Penelope held onto the word tightly. It was a warning that something was already coming.

SSA Andi Swan,the head of the Domestic Trafficking Task Force, was waiting for the BAU to gather in the conference room. She'd been notified of the corpses the team had found and as such, she was certain that it was one of her guys responsible.

"Do you know who did this?" Seaver asked her. Even a small guess could help them move faster.

Unfortunately, Andi shook her head. "I've been 2 steps behind an organization that abducts college kids throughout the U. S."

"How long have you been tracking them?"

"Three years." The weariness in Andi's tone was palpable. "But this is the first time there's been an identifiable body."

"So you think this is their work?" asked Spencer.

"It's definitely their type. Stressed-out, vulnerable kids. They're all from good families, making them low-risk for abduction. Young innocents are worth more money. And they're harder to lure, so they hold on to them for a longer period of time."

All the information was more repulsive to hear rather than when she would just read about it. Aitana couldn't remember ever doing a job so close to human trafficking. "How many victims are they holding at once?"

"That's hard to say. But from what I can tell, there's a lot of turnover. Customers don't want to see the same faces twice. We don't think they travel with more than a handful of victims at one time. They hunt all over the country. All they need is a car. They might be low-tech, but they're organized. And profitable. The rumor is that they hold events for 2 days in metropolitan areas and then they disappear."

Penelope dreaded to ask knowing what the answer would probably be, but her curiosity got the best of her. "What kind of events?"

"Where top-paying customers can do things like this—" Andi made a gesture to their evidence boards holding the photographs of their two victims, "—and worse to the victims. It seems impossible to trace. We study their behavior. They're not a good breed, but they're still human. They make a few mistakes. We've also recently established an undercover unit."

"Wait, how can you infiltrate them?" Seaver paused to think. "Wouldn't your agents have to commit a crime to be accepted as a customer?"

Andi nodded. "Exactly. That's why we can't pose as buyers. The entire system is set up to protect the customers, but there's no way we can trace them from that end."

"Your agents go in as targets," said Hotch. "Do you have anybody under now?"

"Locally a few. They're still establishing the backstories. They might be able to help. I'll call." Andi excused herself to go do that. In a matter of minutes she would come to find out that one of her U.C.s had disappeared, prompting an emergency check in from her and Hotch.

The remaining agents were to go through the missing people cases until Morgan and Rossi returned from the morgue.

Penelope came into the room with a fresh new load of files in her arms. "Here are the missing coeds since 2009." She let them drop unceremoniously on the table beside Seaver's spot, making her flinch.

"Wow…" Her eyes widened at the big pile. She looked over to Spencer for some help.

"Yeah, uh, we still need to narrow this down…" He moved over to grab the first file and give it a quick skim. "Let's look at last-known locations. Maybe there's an overlap."

"They're from all over the place," Penelope informed rather tersely.

Seaver grabbed the next file to give a skim as well. "These guys hunt in target-rich environments. Clubs, malls, that kind of thing."

"What are Morgan and Rossi finding?" Spencer asked Penelope. He noticed her staring a bit too hard at the table. He could only wonder how many things were running through her mind at the moment.

"Uh…" She had to rack her brain to remember what Morgan had told her earlier. "A lot of mud on the car and the victims."

"Mud? Did it rain here?"

"No, not here. South. Morgan has a theory that based on the gas mileage, they must have filled up within 70 miles of the accident."

"Gotcha. How many gas stations you find?"

"42."

"How'd you narrow that down?"

Penelope frowned. "I didn't."

Spencer paused to give her a look. Now that was concerning. "Why not?"

"I didn't have any more parameters."

Even more concerning.

Seaver thought the same thing. "That never stopped you before."

Penelope seemed to get the gist of their hints and straightened herself up. "I'll be right back..." She bumped into Aitana at the doorway and while Aitana tried to greet her, Penelope moved right around her and kept going.

Aitana blinked and looked after her for a second. "She's upset with me, isn't she?" She sighed. She should have seen that coming.

"Don't take it personal," Spencer said, "She really doesn't like change."

Aitana turned around and shot him a smile. "Running theme amongst you guys, huh?"

Spencer dove his attention back to the file in his hands. Yes, yes it was.

"Is there something we should know about?" Seaver cautiously asked Aitana. She had seen practically everyone bite their lip to keep themselves from asking the scary question. She couldn't do it.

With a sigh, Aitana nodded. "You guys are going to figure it out anyways. I just don't really know how to tell Penelope. Or...everyone actually."

"You're leaving," Spencer said, trying to be as casual as he could about it. Like stated, he did not like change either.

Aitana sighed again, deeper. "It looks that way, yeah."

"It looks?" Seaver repeated, her expression twisting with confusion. "What do you mean?"

Even Spencer looked up from his file, actually lowering it to study Aitana. She seemed more upset than anyone else and that wasn't the behavior of someone who wanted to transfer. He felt a twinge of something in his heart. "What's happening?"

Aitana teeth dug deep into her bottom lip. "They want to move me," she said. It was difficult talking about it knowing it was already in the works. "It's like Hotch said, the directors are looking to make cuts in units. They're looking at everyone's records including mine. They saw my history and they think I would be better suited in the Human Resources department." She was sure that she had the same stare of shock as Spencer and Seaver on her face when Hotch told her the news earlier in the morning. "I'm one of the few FBI agents who managed to come back from WPP and, apparently, successfully reintegrate enough to continue working in the same field." A success story is what she was reduced to.

"What? So they...they just want to move you like that?" Seaver asked. That was all well reasoned by the directors but what would be the point?

Aitana nodded. "They want me to work with the FBI academy. The new agents coming in should have someone with firsthand experience of the hardships of the job." Essentially, they wanted her to weed out the agents who wouldn't be cut out for the FBI. "I'm meeting with the head tomorrow."

"They're not giving you a choice," Spencer said, speaking from the unfortunate experience at the beginning of the year. They had done the same to JJ and now they were going after Aitana too.

"Technically they are," Aitana swallowed hard. This is the part she feared would gain her the disdain of the team, especially Penelope based on how she was already acting.

Spencer was curious. "What do you mean?"

"The BAU needs more profilers and since I technically have seniority than you," she made a quick point to Seaver, "They were willing to consider my switch of positions within the BAU as a full time profiler. Hotch had already asked me if I wanted the job but I wasn't sure back then. I am now. I don't know what possessed JJ to ask me to take over her job but now I'm glad that she did because I love it. What used to be hard for me is now one of the things I like to do. I like being closer to the families and you know what?" A laugh slipped out of her. "I love putting reporters in their places."

At that, both Spencer and Seaver would agree with her. She didn't earn her nickname for nothing.

"But if I became a full-time profiler, I would lose that connection. I can't be that close to a job I want while I work with something else. It would just be too much." She thought about it over she's over since the morning. Hotch told her she could still agree to be a profiler but the more thought, the less she wanted to do it. She was finally back to a point in her life where she was confident that she knew how to do her job and that she wanted to do it. She didn't have to work a job that was handed to her with a cautious hand because she might snap from her WPP days. She was more healed now than she had been at the beginning of the year.

"At least in the human resources department, I can talk to people kind of how I do here." She had to console herself somehow and this was the nicest thing she could see in the midst of all the gray. "They want me to weed out the 'weak ones' but there are no weak people. I can give them the tools that I didn't have when I first started."

"That's a really nice way of thinking," Seaver said. "You would've definitely helped me out." Role models were desperately needed within the academy. She had Rossi but he was hardly there. Someone needed to be looking out for the new students and she knew Aitana had the caring gene packed down.

"Thanks," Aitana said. "I just feel terrible that I...I have to go."

"It's not your fault," Spencer said. "Penelope will see that. I see it."

"So you guys aren't mad that I chose to leave?" Aitana looked between the pair with anxious eyes. "They gave me the option…"

"You stood your ground, that's the most important part," Seaver offered her a friendly smile.

"Yeah, I'm just so sorry they're doing this again," Spencer added. He couldn't possibly guess how much his input relieved Aitana. Even though they'd worked through their problems, she feared that he might be like Penelope in the end.

"You sure?" She had to ask just to fully get rid of her doubt.

Spencer nodded. "Of course. You felt like you needed to do the right thing."

"Yeah," Aitana exhaled. She leaned her hands on the top of a chair, gripping it so tight her knuckles were turning white. "I just hope it turns out okay." It was all she could do at this point.

~ 0 ~

"Using the club Renée went to as a template, there are potentially 63 others who were taken by the same offenders." Spencer was happy to give the files back to Penelope. It was tough to go through those files knowing they would only save a potential few of the missing people.

Seaver unknowingly shared the same sentiment. She handed back her share of files with a heavy sigh. "There's no way to know which ones are still alive."

Aitana quietly slid her share back as well. There were just no comments to coherently describe what she felt with this case. She could only hope they found a lot of victims still alive.

"Andi Swan," Morgan looked at the woman coming into the room with Hotch. "How you been?"

Andi could only bob her head. "Better. Thanks for helping out."

"Nice to see you again, Andi," Rossi shook hands with her next.

"What'd you find?" Hotch asked the pair.

"We tracked the driver to a gas station outside Culpepper," Morgan said. "He used a pay phone to call another one in the same town."

"So they're close. And careful."

Morgan nodded then glanced over to Andi. "What's their budget on location?"

"Not much. They pay cash, no questions asked. Security's top priority."

Aitana was sure that every time they asked Andi a question, things were worse than the previous answer. "So this guy's found a place to hold let's say a dozen victims? That means we're looking for a secluded spot in rural Virginia." A sour smile crossed her face. "That shouldn't be hard to find."

"I thought traffickers concentrated in port cities," said Rossi after a moment's thought over the rural locations.

"International ones do," Andi clarified. "Unfortunately, domestic traffickers abduct all over the country. It doesn't seem like they stay in one location long after an abduction. They move quickly and efficiently. My guess was in a nondescript car, and until this morning that was just a theory."

"Well they've lost their driver now, so they're in jeopardy," Penelope said, hoping that would spark some hope that they would be able to catch them on a mistake.

"They'll move out tonight," Andi said with all the certainty in the world.

Morgan was a bit more reluctant to fully believe it. "But they've got customers and victims lined up. They don't want to lose the money."

"And technically, their location hasn't been compromised yet," Aitana added, unknowingly following Penelope's hope path. "If they don't move tonight, we have a window of opportunity."

"She's right," Hotch said, eyes shifting to Andi. "You said Renee went to the local clubs, do you know which ones?"

Andi nodded. "She'd report back if anyone suspicious approached her. We followed the leads, nothing panned out."

"What was the last club?" Penelope asked, fingers wiggling over her keyboard.

"Scotty's in Georgetown." Andi held her breath while Penelope searched for the club. Too many things were running in her mind but the main one managed to slip through her lips. "If they find out she's an agent, she's dead."

"Penelope's incredibly fast at searching, she'll have something for us to narrow the search down," Aitana said, offering the blonde analyst a kind smile.

Penelope paused for a brief second to meet Aitana's gaze. Whatever frustration she held for Aitana dissipated with her kind words. It was almost frustrating how those big eyes of hers were just too sweet to be angry with.

"Let's discuss the leader," Hotch switched them while Penelope did her search. Their window of opportunity wouldn't last all night. "We need to look at this from the leader's point of view. A group like this requires a strong leader."

"Yeah, this guy's in charge of some unstable personalities," Morgan remarked. "Do you have any theories?"

Andi nodded. She had thousands of them but she narrowed them down to fit the situation. "I have always thought he led through fear. This guy can blackmail his whole team. Look at the progression of this network. They started abducting victims for sex and then adapted to killing."

"Because he saw the growth potential in his assets," Spencer said, a logical reason. "Instead of just disposing of them, he made it into a show."

"And that's why the victims are so young," Andi said. "The customers will pay top dollar to see them tortured."

"But the average guy doesn't have that kind of money laying around," Seaver said out of sheer common sense. Oftentimes, that was all they needed to get to the next point. "So they're successful. And incredibly deviant. That's their big secret. If it was revealed, they'd be ruined."

"But they still have criminally prove themselves to join the club," Aitana said, her expression scrunching with confusion. "How can they be upstanding citizens and still prove themselves to these people?"

There was a moment of silence while everyone considered the options.

"It could be a white-collar crime, like money laundering," Morgan thought first.

Hotch went with it and added: "That's often done through real estate. Garcia, who owned the clubs where the victims went missing?"

Penelope quickly opened a new tab to turn her search around. "Um, Bruce Harmon owns the club in Arizona."

"And in Ohio?"

"Bob Moore."

"And Scotty's in Georgetown?"

"Bob Moore is a partner in that."

There was the beginning of something.

"Do any of them own property in Virginia?" asked Hotch.

Penelope nodded fairly quickly. "Moore also is a partner in the development of a private facility."

"What happened to it?"

"It...looks like bad guys go through hardship, too," Penelope rolled her eyes. "Financiers pulled all the money out in 2009, so it's not anything."

Another something.

"What was it?" asked Rossi.

"It was supposed to be a tough-love rehab center, but now-" Penelope stopped when seh saw a photograph of the property, "Now it's just an abandoned factory in the middle of nowhere. With a lot of acreage and mud."

"How close to the gas station?" Morgan asked.

"Eight miles west of it."

They had the something.

"Let's go," Hotch ordered the group, though Andi was already on her way out.

"I'll gather the other divisions," Aitana said, feeling bittersweet once she realized this was the last time she would be doing any such thing for them. It actually hurt.

~ 0 ~

They were in stealth mode when they arrived at the building. There were no visible guards outside which just spoke volumes of the group's confidence in their solidarity. They divided themselves up into three different teams to take the various entry ways into the building.

Hotch would lead a handful of the S.W.A.T. team directly from the main entry of the building. Rossi and Morgan would lead through the back and Aitana and Seaver followed Andi through the maze of hallways from the side of the building. They had the true element of surprise in the situation and they would use it until they couldn't anymore.

Morgan would be the first to break the element of surprise but with Rossi's help, they were able to keep it under wraps. One by one, they all took down the guards without startling their predecessors.

Aitana came across a set of double-sliding doors. A big chain protected it so she stepped back and motioned one of the S.W.A.T. to break it down. As soon as they did, the others rushed inside. Cages lined either side of them and each one was filled with victims.

"Oh my God," Seaver was outright horrified. She froze in the middle of the aisle while the rest of the team swarmed past them to free the victims.

Aitana couldn't remember another moment that had caused Seaver such a deep emotion, and that was saying something considering everything they saw each day. "C'mon," she tugged the woman by the arm. "We got the victims, you can get the bastards paying for this crap."

Seaver nodded her head though her body seemed to shake. It was unnatural of her usual composure. She turned around and headed back in the direction they'd come in through.

Aitana would make a note to check up on her afterwards but right now her main priority were the victims. She was sure they would all need some type of medical attention. By the time she oversaw the victims' transfer from the building into either ambulances or cars, the others had gotten all the "customers" in handcuffs and packed into the backs of cars.

Hotch and Andi were together when Aitana stopped by. They had just witnessed Renee Matlin being taken in an ambulance. She was beaten but she would make it.

"Please tell me we got everyone?" she asked the pair.

As if to answer her question, Seaver walked by with one last handcuffed man. "This is the last one," she told them.

"How many arrests?" asked Hotch.

"Eighteen."

"And 7 victims rescued," Aitana added, meeting Seaver's gaze. It was a win tonight.

They heard loud screech of tires and in the next moment, a car burst from the building.

"Hey, stop that vehicle!" Hotch yelled hte order, prompting a series of gunfire to take shots at the fleeing car.

They managed to stop the car not too far from them. A swarm of them ran to arrest whoever was behind the wheel. However, they found the driver dead from one of their bullets and one more girl in the backseat.

Rossi helped her out of the car. She was in tears and seemed rattled by everything.

"She needs medical attention," Rossi called, already making way for them with the girl.

Seaver made a hurry to inspect the rest of the car for any other victims the unsub might have taken with him. Aitana came around the back to see Seaver opening the trunk. There was no one. No one else was in the car.

"Hey Hotch?" Aitana called, leading Hotch and Andi to come over. "I may be off here but...that guy behind the wheel...he only took one girl?"

That was beyond weird. These people didn't typically care for victims if they crossed into being a hassle.

"Seven victims," Seaver said, eyebrows knitting together. "Left in the cages while the customers made a run for it."

"No, no, these guys don't…" Andi shook her head, "They just move on, they don't…"

Hotch realized it first." Renee was last seen with a brunette. It's her. DAVE!" He yelled seconds before they heard a gunshot.

Rossi stood in his spot, completely stunned to see the dead girl on the ground. Morgan lowered his gun and walked over to Rossi. The quickness was sometimes...just too quick.

~ 0 ~

When the group returned, Spencer and Penelope were still in the conference room putting away their evidence into boxes. Spencer noticed the way Morgan was walking in with his right arm held a bit too close to himself.

"What happened to you?"

"That guy was huge," Morgan muttered.

"Seriously. You should start working out." Spencer cracked a smile at Morgan's reaction, the latter wasn't very amused.

"Oh, you got jokes now?"

"Mhm!"

"Boys," Penelope scolded the pair, or at least tried to. She failed with her overwhelming concern for everyone who'd gone out.

"What is it, kid?" Rossi had noticed Seaver staring a bit too contemplating at the files on the table that had yet to be put away.

The young agent shrugged her shoulders. "We only rescued 7 victims today." She picked up the decent size of piles. "What about the rest of these?" She didn't understand why this was hitting her more than the other cases she dealt with. Seeing the files, holding them, just irked her. Why was the pile so heavy? Why couldn't it be smaller? Thinner?

"It's a never ending cycle," Aitana said as if she'd been reading Seaver's mind.

"I'm not sure I like it," Seaver said, surprising herself and the others. She carefully set the pile back on the table, her eyes lingering on them with another thought.

"Good work, everybody," Hotch said upon coming in. "Go home and get some rest. Nobody needs to come in till 9:00." He turned to leave but paused to amend his timing, "...:30."

"We were supposed to talk about the meeting!" Penelope exclaimed, stopping Hotch for a second.

He didn't say anything, merely glanced at Aitana. 'It's your call' he was basically saying.

Aitana inwardly sighed. Yes, yes it was and she had already made the decision. She had to go through with it now. "I got it," she assured him. "I'll...handle it." He nodded and continued his way out.

"Handle what?" Penelope asked, her lips close to forming a pout.

Aitana turned back to face them. "Um, I'll be transferring to the Human Resources department." Before Penelope could anything, Aitana quickly added: "I didn't ask to be transferred but it's happening."

"They're doing it again?" frowned Morgan.

"It's different," Aitana promised him. "I know what happened to JJ and she didn't have a choice but I technically did. They want profilers and I've recently reached the conclusion that I like being a liaison. I like being both and the directors don't want that from me."

"But they want you for something," Rossi caught onto her choice of words. She should've known better than to try to be subtle.

She had to nod. "I'm a success story to them right now. I came back from the WPP and I'm still working as an FBI agent. I'm the person they want to use to call new agents into the academy. They also want me to pick the ones I see with potential."

"So it's not because you didn't want to be a profiler—the directors want to use your story," Morgan was disgusted. Plain and entirely disgusted.

"Can't we...can't we fight? Do something?" Penelope's stomach churned as her recent behavior came back to gnaw at her head. Oh, she'd been terrible!

"Yeah, maybe we can reverse their decision," Seaver said. She herself wasn't supposed to be at the BAU after graduation and yet they hadn't touched her.

Aitana shrugged her shoulders. Her teeth chewed deep into her bottom lip. "I would want nothing more than that but I think right now there's nothing I can do. I don't want to be just a profiler and I know it's stupid, possibly childish that I'm leaving rather than taking what they offered—"

"It's not," Spencer said, giving her a sharp look. She had to remember why she'd made the decision in the first place. "You can't be something you don't want to be. I think we can all understand that…?" He looked around the room to make sure they were all agreeing with him.

They were.

"Doesn't mean I won't try to get you back," Penelope warned, "They already took JJ from us, I am not letting them take away my sweet Sprinkles!" She hurried over to encase Aitana in a big hug.

The brunette chuckled. "Does this mean you're not upset with me anymore?"

"Oh honey, I am so sorry!" Penelope broke into a fit of apologies and how she would never let Aitana get distant from them. It was too sweet and very Penelope.

"Hey, is anyone hungry?" Spencer asked the group.

Seaver was quick to answer with a hand on her stomach. "Starving!"

"There's this super good Indian restaurant. It's a little ways away, but it's open 24 hours and they have amazing chicken tandoori."

"Ooh, that sounds good," Aitana said, eyes flickering to Penelope still holding her in a massive hug. "Since we're still attached, you wanna go?"

The blonde nodded. "Yup!"

"Okay, then let's start turning. I gotta go to the office first."

"Okay!" Penelope started turning them for the door and produced an awkward hobble with Aitana that had the others shaking their heads with laughter.

"Looks like you've been replaced in the favorites department," Rossi said to Morgan.

"Yeah. A noble loss," Morgan agreed.

[apple-stims80]

So this is Love? (2/?)

Julie smiled ear to ear "we gotta find out who wrote this" she said flapping her hands up and down at this point light was basically coming off of her. "How? There's nothing, I can't recognize the handwriting nor the wording" Frank said looking closer at the letter trying to see if there was a small clue he hadn't found "if it was meant to be you could feel who it was" Julie said jumping from her seat and grabbing her shoes. "What are you-" "finding your admirer" she said cutting him off "now come on" she said tossing Frank's shoes at him making him groan "do you have any manners? " "what's a manner? "

Julie and Frank has spent the rest of their day trying to find if someone could recognize the letter or knew who it was but they came up empty every time "what time is it? " Julie asked a little down as they sat outside of Howdy's on the edge of the sidewalk "I'd say around 3ish? " Frank said looking up at the sky seeing where the sun was. Julie let out a loud exaggerated gasp "I was supposed to be at Sally's an hour ago" she whined sitting up way too quick for her liking "have fun and tell me who it was" she said running away waving bye at Frank leaving him to himself. He sighed looking at the letter feeling tears start to form "this is a prank isn't it" he whispered shaking feeling his fingers side across the edges tearing a small bit if it before "you okay there? " snapping him from his thoughts Frank shot his head up looking once again at Eddie. "Rough day huh" he said sitting next to Frank "indeed" he said with a sigh "can I see? " Eddie asked pointing to the letter "if you want, I don't care for it at the moment" once Frank had said that he could've sworn he saw a little bit of light drain from Eddie's eyes as if his heart was broken "hmm, lucky you~" Eddie said giving the letter back smiling. Frank touched Eddie's cheek letting his fingers gently move along the bags under his eyes "you haven't been sleeping, why?" "Oh" he seemed caught off guard by that "well there isn't really a bedroom at the post office nor a bed so I have to makeshift one out of old packages and letters" he said scratching the back of his neck "what! " Frank practically yelled "oh no they're old mail ones people have forgotten about or didn't have an address on, I do feel guilty about that though" "Eddie I'm not worried about the mail, I'm worried about you, how could you ever be able to sleep on that in the first place" Frank looking at his friend with worry "oh at first it wasn't that bad, the mail was fluffy and comfortable but then after some wear and tear it stopped being comfortable so" he said looking away from Frank "that's it I've heard enough" Frank said getting up. "You're staying st my house tonight" those words rang through Eddie's head as he felt his face flush "wha-what" "oh I'm sorry did that sounds demanding, I meant to say is would you like to stay at my place tonight?" Frank said calmly "yes" Eddie whispered out like he'd been awaiting this question. Frank looked at him puzzled "pardon? What'd you say? " "oh I said yes, sorry" "nothing to be sorry about" Frank said placing a hand on Eddie's "I might go get cleaning, can't be a good host with a dirty home" he said before waving bye "bye" Eddie mumbled touching his hand, smiling as he blushed.

Frank had spent the past three hours making sure everything was perfect for Eddie, he didn't know why he cared so much but he did. He beamed once he heard knocks on his door, he quickly walked to the door almost tripping in the process "good evening" he said welcoming Eddie into his house. He noticed Eddie was wearing a plain white shirt that was tight enough to show off his muscles but loose enough to not let the imagination not run wild "uh Frank? " Eddie questioned waving a hand in front of Frank's face "oh uh pardon what were you saying? " "where can I put my stuff, it's not a whole l-" "in my room" Frank blurted out blushing once he heard what he said "I mean, what kind of host would I be if I didn't have the guest sleep in a bed" he said grabbing Eddie's hand dragging him to his room "are you going to stay with me? " Eddie asked once they got to the door "what? " "I wouldn't want to kick you out your own room, what kind of guest would I be if I did that" Eddie said giggling showing that he found Frank's reasonings funny "oh I guess you're right" Frank said placing hand to his chin before snapping "I'll make a floor bed for me" he said grabbing extra blankets and pillows from a nearby closet "you can go in you know" he said noticing Eddie had yet to place his hand on the doorknob "oh" he mumbled meeting the doorknob with his hand twisting it.

The two men had spent their night talking, making jokes, laughing, and enjoying each other. "You sure you don't want to sleep in the bed" Eddie said looking down at his friend "do you want me too?" Frank asked meeting the taller man's eyes making him bite his lip 'Should he? Would it give him away as the admirer?' "It's fine I promise after all what kind of host and friend would I be if I didn't let you have the bed to yourself" Frank said smiling before getting under his blankets "sweet dreams". Eddie smiled at him before turning away 'friend, that's all they were going to be just friends forever' Eddie soon was consumed by the comfort by Frank's smell he smiled, if they were just going to stay friends he couldn't be happier at least he gets to keep him in his life. "Sweet dreams, my dearest"

[revengeiscoming]

((no one asked for them, but here are all of my magnus hammersmith headcanons

•i know i posted this one already for an ask, but reiterating it and going a little more in-depth. he’s audhd and only sensory seeking when it comes to music. very quick to meltdowns or shutdowns. he also has bpd and aspd meaning he had conduct disorder as a minor. he also has PTSD because he did not reach this point in life by having a wonderful childhood, he’s also traumatized by the metal masked assassin and the revengencers. he also has double depression and anxiety but those come out as rage more often than not and end up meshing with the aspd rage and bpd rage in unfavorable ways. he also experiences psychosis. most of his delusions have to do with people’s perceptions of him which has destroyed most of his close relationships. in the canon of my blog he’s trying so hard to get his shit together.

•he was born on november 6, 1964 in woodstock new york at 3am (giving a birth time for the astrology bitches). he was born a week early and the nearest hospital is 10 miles away so his mom gave birth at home and then his dad immediately drove them the 10 miles to the hospital because everyone involved would rather he not be born in the back seat of a car.

•his parents were artists and beatnik turned hippies hence why they lived in woodstock. his parents knew michael lang so as a very small child he got to see the chaos that was organizing woodstock and the road to it eventually happening in bethel new york. him and his parents were at the festival, he was 4 years old. his parents weren’t keeping a great eye on him so he was basically babysat by an entirely different family for three days super confused as to where his parents were (one of them did the brown acid so probably good that he wasn’t in their care for that).

•he was the kid who left something fucked up on the teacher’s desk to get a message across. he was also definitely the kid who threw a desk and proceeded to walk home while everyone just sat there shocked that a 9 year old just threw a desk (the adrenaline from rage is the only reason the desk went as far as it did though)

•his guitar heroes growing up were jeff beck, jimmy page, eric clapton, keith richards, and tony iommi. he taught himself guitar bowing because he saw jimmy page for it and thought it was the coolest fucking thing.

•he was almost 12 years old when led zeppelin the song remains the same was in theaters and he saw it at least 3 times a week until it was out of theaters again. his favorite scenes were all of jimmy page’s bullshit.

•he ran away from home as a teenager. first he went to nyc to try to make a name for himself, but eventually he headed out to california like a lot of musicians had been doing for years by that point.

•he’s bi. he’s bi and he doesn’t give a fuck who knows.

•his special interests are guitar, black sabbath, led zeppelin, music theory, metal, and art but he’ll never admit to it (but he likes to draw cover art in his spare time)

•he’s down to do drugs and party as long as it doesn’t interfere with his creative process. he likes to towe the line of being out of his head while still maintaining full control over himself and the situation.

•as seen in canon, he can’t handle not being in control. if he feels out of control of himself or his situation it makes him completely fucking spiral. in situations where he does feel remorse for his actions caused by those spirals he has no clue how to apologize so he just doesn’t.

•he was the lead guitarist at first, but while he has a big ego his music special interest won out when skwisgaar came around. he knew skwisgaar being lead while he was rhythm would produce the best sound. that said, he maintained the same amount of creative involvement until he was kicked out.

•if things are going too good for him, he will self destruct and self sabotage. he hates that he does it, he doesn’t know why he does it, sometimes it feels like he’s just stuck to watch while this happens. it scares the fuck out of him but he will never tell anyone about it.

•this is pretty much canon, but he would not have gone as far as he did in doomstar requiem if he hadn’t been used and manipulated by the metal masked assassin. his mental health problems and desire for revenge were definitely used against him and amplified by the metal masked assassin.

•he probably has at least 1 bastard child running around. between substances, mania, and self destructive tendencies there is no way he’s engaged in safe sex 100% of the time or bothered to ask about birth control. he is nowhere near skwisgaar level, but he’s got at least one kid out there. the thought of having one of his kids show up on his doorstep one day terrifies him.

•he has a pretty big problem with substance abuse. nowhere near dr rockzo, but he will try anything once and has his favorite drugs.

•he smokes lucky strikes red 100s because he’s perpetually broke.

•he lives in a rundown apartment in a really bad area of town. all of his furniture was found on the side of the road. he doesn’t bring people over often if ever so he doesn’t give a fuck. that said, anyone who comes into his apartment is shocked to see his equipment setup along with his album collection, turntable, receiver, and speaker setup. the money he does have he puts into music more often than not.

•he’s great at shoplifting necessities. the only stuff he buys are the things he can’t conceal easily. he’s been doing this for literal decades.

•if toki hadn’t taken his place he might have considered an actual friendship. he reminds magnus of himself on some ways while being entirely different in most ways.

•in my blog’s canon where he’s trying to recover and admit to how he feels without his thoughts clouded by rage he’s down to rekindle friendships with anyone who will let him. he doesn’t expect it to happen and doesn’t expect trust or forgiveness, but four of the members of dethklok were the longest friendships he’s ever had and he genuinely missed them a lot. they used to be his fps and he doesn’t want to admit that they still kind of are.

•he has a therapy cat. it’s a black cat that he named sabbath.

•in the canon of my blog he lucked out and was able to get an emergency heart transplant. it took the doctors a long time to get him fully fixed up and he constantly wishes he had just died.

•because he was literally impaled before killing himself the doctors don’t believe him when he says he tried to kill himself. he does end up still going to the psyche ward after having a “why didn’t you just let me die i want to be dead” mental breakdown. this is the only reason he has made any strides in his mental health, he hasn’t continued with therapy since being released.

•he has maybe 4 shirts and 4 pairs of pants, that’s it. he doesn’t give a fuck and pretty much always wears the same thing anyway.

•he will not admit that he’s old because he feels like he wasted his life away.

•he has never been in an actual long term romantic relationship. he’s had short relationships and one night stands but that’s pretty much it. he’s not aro, he just not stable enough to maintain most relationships. while he hates admitting how old he is, at this point he feels like he’s too old to bother so he’s fine with things staying the way they’ve always been.

•he painted to walls of his apartment because what are they gonna do? take the security deposit? they were going to do that anyway might as well give them a reason.

•he’s released solo work and has some money from that. he was also a drug dealer for a while but called it good when it seemed like he was starting to get on the radar. he’s glad about that decision because someone narced on him and his apartment was searched 2 months after he quit. he’s still pissed cops were anywhere near his apartment. the guy who narced on him had to leave the state because he knew magnus would come for him otherwise.

•he has sold cocaine to dr rockzo. that’s part of why dr rockzo knows about him and what kind of person he is (or was since in the canon of my blog he’s trying to recover).))

[rumpunch]

HIIII so… i finally got to see hadestown this weekend (the national tour production) w two of my best friends 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 i knew we were gonna see it for months but i didnt want to post abt it beforehand / acknowledge it in any way after making plans bc i was scared i would jinx it like what happened when i posted / talked abt seeing shows on the west end and then covid hit and sent me home lol. but i can’t believe i finally saw it!! it doesn’t feel real and honestly didn’t until right now as im writing this….. being in the theater was truly an out of body (and mind lol) experience for better or for worse. this was my first time seeing a show since covid and im soooo glad it was this one given how much it’s meant to me for all these years 🥹💗

i have a lot of thoughts on the production and also the plot / story so here they are lol:

production thoughts

for context ive never seen a hadestown 👢 before, i told myself that i wanted my first experience of seeing it to be actually seeing it in person. but ive listened to the obcr 5798673594 times over the last 3 years and the songs have become thoroughly woven into my life... so that made for a really weird experience where i knew every word but was watching it unfold for the first time and yet i knew what was coming for the most part. that also could be chalked up to the fact that ive seen so many gifsets and have read so many posts about other ppl seeing the show so i did know about some visual things.. but yeah it was just weird what i knew / expected and what i didnt lol

my friends and i sat in the back right corner of the mezzanine (like the LITERAL corner. no chairs behind us or next to us and the exit right next to us) and sadly the balcony in the set was cut off for us so we had to keep leaning across each other or scrunching our heads down to see the action up there :~/ but it was ok

i think bc of the above two bullet points + the fact that i really did not let myself believe that i was going to see the show bc i was scared of jinxing it + me having depression / possible derealization issues that i did not have when i first got into this show... i was kinda numb the entire time which sucks a little. i cried a couple times (happy / disbelieving tears in road to hell (persephone's entrance specifically for some reason, idk why it wasnt the "aight"s LOL) and any way the wind blows, sad tears in doubt comes in) but i didnt really... process anything in the moment or really experience the epic highs and lows of it while watching it. i just generally wasnt very moved! and im processing the show right now for the first time. and that kinda sucks and is unlike me and unlike what i thought seeing it was gonna be like. in a similar vein i found myself really focused on whoever was in the spotlight and im kinda mad at myself for that bc this is a show where SO many little details / context clues are communicated when ppl are in the background. but its fine i guess, i may be in a weird place mentally but i got to see it and maybe i'll see it again someday and be more moved

the cast was PHENOMENALLLLLL. j antonio rodriguez was our orpheus and he was the standout for me, his singing and acting as were breathtaking! i was frustrated about hannah whitley (eurydice) though bc like (and i feel bad for saying all of this)... nobody can be eva noblezada but hannah was missing a lot of notes / singing off key and kept like.. idk what the technical term for it is but she was kinda singing on her own beat and adding in a lot of pauses or rushing into things instead of staying on pace with the music and also she kept kinda revving up into the high notes and all of it grated on me. but i grew warmer to her singing in act 2 and i really appreciated her acting throughout! i didnt rly have many thoughts about hades (matthew patrick quinn), persephone (maria christina oliveras), or hermes (nathan lee graham) aside from ADORING all of their performances and what they brought to the roles compared to the obc! and the fates (dominique kempf, belén moyano, courtney lauster) / ensemble (kc dela cruz, colin lemoine, sean watkinson, shavey brown, raquel williams) / musicians were INCREDIBLE and had such amazing chemistry with and between each other :~D

antonio made for a bolder more charming orpheus and hannah made for a darker moodier more tortured eurydice which was interesting. but (and maybe this was just me dealing with the whole numbness / already knowing what to expect thing) i wasnt really convinced about their love story (specifically the early parts of it in act i as they were falling in love) or that orpheus in particular was insecure and vulnerable to the fates. but they did have some good chemistry in act ii especially and i was rooting for them so hard despite knowing wht was to come :~(

i knew that on broadway they have that little elevator in the center of the stage so i was curious about how it would work in the tour and... they had this giant oven box thing with moving doors! i actually really liked that, it made the whole idea of traveling to / from hadestown seem more sinister. that said i was kinda bothered by it during doubt comes in because orpheus and eurydice had to walk around the entire stage to make sure eurydice was positioned in front / inside of the oven and it kinda spoiled the ending in a way (even though we all know how that ends)... im guessing that on broadway its less exaggerated and you dont see it coming bc all eurydice has to do is just move over to the side a little. but idk i'll finally let myself watch a 👢 and see what the difference is

i couldnt take my eyes off of hades and persephone during promises. they started the song with hades kneeling with his head against persephone's stomach and then he stood up and they just hugged.... for a LONG time. like at least 3-5 minutes. and i was like god i wish that were me and i was thinking about what that mustve been like for the actors playing them.. like if thats a moment that they share and look forward to or whatever bc i know i would. it made me think about jenna's dear baby monologue in you matter to me LOLLLL

i saw from another post i read on here (as i was pregaming for the show by scrolling thru my hadestown tag LMAO) that orpheus runs through the audience at one point? and he didnt do that for us that i saw which i was bummed about. maybe thats just a broadway thing

i had no idea the set splits open during wait for me!!! it was so cool

i also didnt know / fully realize that hades produces a flower for persephone during epic iii 😭 the tears in my eyes... also speaking of epic iii hades singing the lalalalalalalaaaa got a LAUGH and i was so MAD!!!!! i get that its kinda funny because it just sounds so weird in his voice and its a startling moment... but that pissed me off bc the moment is supposed to be so tender and heartbreaking and the audience didnt appreciate that.. augh.

since its pride month the set was initially lit up with rainbow lights and in act ii hermes had little rainbow tassles on the ends of his sleeves!! :~D

plot / story thoughts

another context bullet point to kick us off: i discovered hadestown in the spring / summer of 2019 which was an INCREDIBLY formative time for me and so many aspects of the show (creative expression as a tool / forum for bringing about the world as it could be (and illuminating the possibilities in the world as it is), discovering that you have agency, love / loyalty / betrayal / sustenance, finding your purpose, etc.) were profoundly relevant to things that i was awakening to at that exact place and time in my own life. so i went into this experience hoping to have more insights like the kind i had when i first listened to the obcr... and i didnt really. i mean i had some but they didnt feel as profound i guess? and again that may just be me having mental health issues now that i didnt have then.. but that was a thing that i was aware of and kinda sad about. so yeah

that said... the main thing along those lines that i did take away (which really only hit me while watching epic iii / promises) is like... love is agency is love is agency is love.... or something like that. at least that they coexist and happen together. the oppressive conditions in hadestown and the poverty in the overworld strip the gods and humans alike of... their humanity (which is weird to apply to the gods but still)! their sense of self, and their love for each other and the world. the moment that became clear for me was in epic iii when the workers took off their goggles one by one and it was like.. they could See again! they could see themselves and each other, they were holding hands with each other and singing together. and they saw a future that they could create together. and hades was letting persephone dance and she kept spinning away from him with her arms outstretched like a bird but then coming back... idk. im not articulating this well and i need to think about it more and let it simmer for a bit and maybe watch a 👢 to get all the details. but it was like yeah... the opposite of capitalism imperialism etc etc is love and agency and they go together and they are the same thing.

another thing i need to think about more: orpheus went to hadestown all by himself to get eurydice! how come he was so confident then? he was LITERALLY alone. he didnt know where she went or if she would come back with him. and he didnt have the workers following him (though they were there in wait for me swinging the lamps, but i interpreted them as being like... part of the scenery i guess). he was completely alone and operating off of hope AND THE FATES TAUNTED HIM TOO and he was like... fine! so then in doubt comes in.. when he has all these people including eurydice following him... like idk. maybe its just because he'd confronted hades who couldnt fully be trusted and he knew that eurydice had turned her back on him and stuff... like maybe its just because on the journey back he'd experienced things that caused him to doubt / mistrust the people he was journeying with / from and that's what made him vulnerable, not so much the physical loneliness but the emotional loneliness that comes with a betrayal. which is something i just realized typing it out lol. but that kinda agitated me bc its like... he was FINE the way up so why did he crumble on the way back :~(

doubt comes in is such a fucking GUT PUNCH btw. i wanted to cry harder but didnt let myself bc i didnt want to be too loud or soil my mask. but i was so so scared to see it and it devastated me. its just so... SAD. and its so... like i relate to / identify with orpheus SO much yes in part because of the creative expression / seeing the two worlds thing but also because of doubt comes in specifically. its just so so so sad. he had all of these people including the person he loved most cheering him on and echoing to him. and he couldnt hear them. and he couldnt internalize how much they loved and believed and trusted in him. and he turned. that is so wrenchingly real. and it hurt so bad to see it playing out on the stage knowing what was about to happen and then WATCHING it in all the brilliant horror. like thats another insane thing the way the lights get so wildly bright. actually now that i mention that i think the lights are brighter in hadestown when bad things are happening. like hades saying I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY etc etc. that could be a whole post. someone should make that

im thinking a lot about The Song and whose song it is and actually WHICH song it is. bc if you think about it... so we're introduced to the lalalalalalalaaaa and whatever song that is which builds in the epics. and that song incites a lot of action like orpheus (quite literally!) tuning out eurydice which causes her to choose to go to hadestown, and hades realizing what love is and whatever. but another song that is equally if not more catalytic is.... IF IT'S TRUE!!!! bc thats the song that sparks the revolution among the workers and gives orpheus hope that he almost lost after learning about eurydice's betrayal and inspires eurydice to fight for something instead of succumbing to her fate. and in wait for me reprise when eurydice is singing "echoing OUR song" "the falling of OUR feet" ... like they're not alone as just the two of them, the workers are coming too!! so which song is she referring to! what if it's actually "if it's true" and the hopes that orpheus has stirred up about what the world could be?

btw speaking of orpheus tuning out eurydice... im sure this point has been made 5476463979 times but its rly interesting to think about how love languages (for lack of a better way to put it, ik that can be kinda reductive) work in this show. eurydice and orpheus both attempt to address the storm but the ways they choose to do it are different / dont align: eurydice tries to manage the short term by searching for food and firewood, while orpheus works on the song that will bring spring back and stop this kind of disaster from happening again. but iirc they dont talk about how they're going to take these two different but equally important strategies — eurydice at least interprets the song as being unimportant and orpheus just... straight up seems unaware of the food / firewood thing also being important. so theres a communication failure and eurydice interprets the silence as abandonment (for good reason, also relatable) and turns her back (ha!) on orpheus. and then with hades and persephone... hades does all these big flashy power gestures to show his love for persephone but it's the exact opposite of what she wants and they dont see eye to eye about how to express their love for each other either. yeah

speaking of eurydice making that choice... like yeah. sigh. betrayal is such a huge thing in this show. trust and betrayal. eurydice was (kind of) leading orpheus through the immediate short term danger of the storm and she turned on him. and the fact that she did was part of the reason orpheus turned on her. they made their vows in promises that they would walk side by side but he couldnt get over it (partially bc they literally weren’t allowed to physically walk as they planned but still). and eurydice said "im right behind you and i have been all along" and its like no you havent been thats the entire plot of the show lol (again for understandable reasons but still!)

another thing im sure has been analyzed 456456984 times but its interesting to think about hermes watching everything playing out while knowing how it will end and not choosing to intervene. idk what that means and my laptop is running out of battery so im not going to dig into it but im just thinking on it. BUT ALSO THAT GOES FOR US AS THE AUDIENCE like so many ppl probably know how it ends and maybe some ppl are seeing it multiple times and its like... anyone could intervene and change the story (within reason ofc). also goes for the other ppl on stage too like the musicians etc. its just interesting to think about the implications of that and what would happen if someone tried it both "in character" and "out of character" i guess

its interesting to think about the role walls play in the show too. like the wall hades is making the workers build to keep out the "enemy" and keep them (him) powerful and prosperous in their (his) isolation vs the walls repeating the falling of feet, echoing songs... letting people know theyre not alone. and the fact that that doesnt happen in doubt comes in even though orpheus is being followed by a whole crowd basically. idk. fascinating

ok those are all of my thoughts i think! i also saw some interesting posts / takes that im going to rb again bc theyre on my mind as i interpret the show but i dont want to put them in this post bc theyre not my original thoughts. ty for reading if you did :~D this is a glorious new era in rumpunch nation im so glad and grateful that i can finally say ive seen this beautiful show!

[succubusphan]

Two Man Team - Chapter 12

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 12: When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter.

October 2018

With everything going on, his relationship with Dan blossoming, their friendship and their public branding being sort of related again, Phil debated on whether to look into posts he was not tagged in for mentions of the ship, to see what people thought of them now and it took him weeks to finally decide to go through with it. 

He let out a sigh of relief when he saw that most viewers on Tumblr talked about the glass closet concept, respectful of them not wanting to discuss their current relationship status but having caught onto the clues that there was something there, just enough context clues to let the queer viewers into the secret and let the homophobic people pretend that they didn’t see anything. 

There was a moment, a sinking feeling in his stomach, when he came across another post saying that Dan and Phil had gone back to queer baiting to sell merch and get more views and condemning it, but not many people seemed to agree. It was dated a few months prior, before their coming out videos, but it still hurt Phil’s feelings. Only a blind person could accuse him of queer baiting. 

He shook his head and hopped into the shower, he needed to relax. He washed his body thoroughly, briefly considering getting off but he was too stressed about what he’d seen to give it a shot. Phil almost slipped and cracked his skull in the shower when he heard the door to this flat open. He wrapped a towel around his hips and carefully walked out of the bathroom, stopping by the kitchen to grab a cast iron pan.

“Hey!” 

Phil jumped and dropped the pan to the floor, narrowly avoiding his foot but cracking a tile in the process. “Dan!”.

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” Dan said. “I used the spare key because you were not answering,” he mumbled as his eyes travelled down Phil’s naked torso hungrily. 

“Oh,” Phil said, trying to ignore Dan’s scolding stare. “What happened?”

“I just - wanted to tell you about a thing I was offered…” trailed off, still not looking into Phil’s eyes.

“Well, what is it?” Phil tried, but Dan ran his fingers on Phil’s chest softly, fiddling with the sparse patch of hair.

“You are so wet,” Dan said, clearly not paying attention.

“I was in the shower,” Phil said awkwardly. 

Dan finally looked up and pulled him closer by the hips. Then, he pressed their noses together, looking into Phil’s eyes. “God, I love you so much,” he whispered.

Phil’s eyes widened and before he could say anything, Dan was kissing him as he ran the tips of his fingers down Phil’s back adoringly, barely grazing the skin, the touch leaving goosebumps in its wake. Dan’s hands came to rest in the small of his back as he kissed Phil’s neck, he smirked when Phil gasped and held onto his shoulders. 

He paused and looked into Phil’s eyes for a moment before asking: “May I?” he said, running his fingers on the edge of the towel.

Phil considered it for a moment, trying to not jump into things because he was horny, but they had been working towards it for a few months now, slowly, really talking things through, paying attention to their feelings and where they were at mentally and emotionally, and - yes, Phil really wanted to. He was ready. “Yes,” he whispered and leaned in for another kiss, burying his fingers in the curls on the back of Dan’s head, playing with them softly. He let out a happy sigh when their hips met. He had missed this, he had missed having Dan like this.

Grabbing Phil’s butt through the towel, Dan took a few steps forward, trying to guide Phil to his bedroom, but snorted at how they stumbled awkwardly and opted for just pulling Phil along by the hand. Phil laughed along; it wouldn’t be them if it wasn’t at least a little bit ungraceful. 

Once they had arrived at their destination, Phil sat on the bed and watched Dan unceremoniously remove his shirt and unbuckle his belt, marvelling at all the changes in his body and how good he looked. “Come here,” he said, extending a hand towards Dan and helping him with his zipper and looking up at him, caressing his tummy. “Gorgeous,” he said under his breath.

Dan leaned down for a quick kiss and gently pushed at his chest.

“But-” Phil protested as he discarded the towel, trying to tempt Dan.

“Later,” Dan said. He removed his jeans and lay on top of Phil, resting his weight on his elbows and leaning down to kiss him.

Phil let Dan do as he wished and let his hands wander down Dan’s gorgeous back, grabbing his ass. The sudden movement startled Dan, causing his hips to twitch and finally press their cocks together. 

Phil smiled into the kiss when Dan began to grind on him. Their breaths came out in pants as Phil met Dan thrust for thrust, perhaps a bit too eagerly and Dan let out a high-pitched whine. He tried to angle away from the friction but Phil wrapped one leg around him, not ready to let go of the amazing sensation quickly building in his stomach. 

Beginning to tremble, Dan gave up on the kiss, unable to keep his focus, and pressed his forehead to Phil’s shoulder, letting out small puffs of air that tickled his neck.

“Phil!” Dan moaned as his thrust became more erratic, his entire body shaking. “Ah, fuck,” he said before coming all over Phil who was still thrusting up against him, still desperately chasing his own orgasm, letting out breathy moans.

“You’re so cute when you whine like that,” Dan mumbled into his ear and bit down on Phil’s neck finally pushing him over the edge.

They lay there panting for a little while before Dan got up and went to get a towel soaked in warm water, sitting at the edge of the bed to clean Phil up, which made him smile.

“Thank you,” Phil said, placing his hand on Dan’s arm.

“You’re welcome,” Dan said, dropping a kiss to his forehead and climbing into bed with him.

Phil wrapped one arm around Dan and pulled him close, sighing happily. He pressed a few kisses on Dan’s cheeks, lips, forehead and nose.

Dan snorted a laugh, blushing and trying to hide his face in the pillow.

“What?” Phil asked with what he knew was a goofy smile.

“Nothing!” Dan said. “I missed this. Us”

“Me too,” Phil admitted. “What did you want to tell me earlier?”

“Nothing, it was all a ploy to barge in and find you naked.”

“Oh, shut up,” Phil laughed. “Be serious now!”

Dan paused, his expression dropping for a moment. “I was offered a book deal. It would be a self-help book,” he said. “And I wanted to know what you thought about that.”

“What else am I going to think? I think it’s amazing! You’ve always wanted to help people through books. Who came to you? Publishing?”

“Young Minds, actually. I had mentioned to them before that it is something that interested me, they handled everything but left the door open for negotiations,” Dan said.

“I love that! Congratulations, you deserve it!” Phil gave Dan a quick kiss. “I’m so proud of you!”

Dan smiled. “Thank you,” he said and Phil could tell that he was holding off, trying to say something else.

“What?”

“Ready for another one?” Dan smirked.

“That was not what you were going to say!” Phil laughed.

“It was!” Dan kissed him, trying to distract him from the conversation, and it worked, of course, Phil had never been able to resist Dan and Dan knew that very well. 

Dan’s lips wandered down, dropping kisses on his neck and chest, teasing Phil with random bites on his tummy, his inner thighs and even his hips until he was fully hard. Only then did Dan settle between his legs. 

Phil buried his fingers in Dan’s curls, pulling softly as he watched Dan wrap one hand around the base of his cock and ghost his breath over it, licking his lips as if he couldn’t wait to figuratively eat him. It was too much for Phil; he let his head drop back to the pillow. 

“Look at me,” Dan demanded and Phil complied, locking eyes with Dan just for a moment, watching him press his tongue flat against the shaft and give him a long lick from root to tip, taking him in and sucking lightly. Phil’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as Dan hollowed his cheeks and began bobbing his head before pulling away and swirling his tongue around the head. 

Phil felt his fringe sticking to his sweaty forehead, the heat already rising within him when Dan pressed the tip of his tongue to his slit and sucked harder before really getting into a nice rhythm, taking him a bit deeper each time and moaning so loudly, the vibrations sending tiny shocks of pleasure to Phil’s cock as he got into his throat.

High-pitched whines were falling from Phil’s lips ever so often, his legs starting to shake as he got closer and closer to the edge. He wasn’t usually this fast, fuck, but Dan had learned a trick or two in the time they’d been apart. That thought pulled him away from the edge. Who the fuck did Dan learn this from? He frowned.

Dan pulled back and gave him an unimpressed look. “What?” he panted. “You’re distracted, I can tell.”

“Nothing!” Phil rushed to say, trying not to completely ruin things.

“Don’t lie!” Dan huffed, squeezing his cock slightly, making Phil groan in discomfort.

“You’ve gotten good at this,” Phil said and it was only half a compliment, and Dan knew it, raising one eyebrow to call Phil out on his bullshit. “Since we’ve done it,” he finally finished the sentence.

Dan huffed, crawling up to speak to him properly, and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “I did. And now I’m going to use everything I know on you. Only you,” he said. “You have nothing to be jealous of.”

Phil gasped when Dan wrapped one hand around his cock, his lips already attached to Phil’s neck as he pumped torturously slowly, twisting his hand on the upstroke and thumbing the head.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about,” Dan said, biting his neck softly.

“I don’t want to think about anyone touching you,” Phil said.

“Then don’t. That was after I left. It was nobody important,” Dan mumbled, his hand still moving. “And I thought of you with each and every one of them.”

“You are mine,” Phil snarled, pulling Dan’s hair a bit too harshly to give himself space to bite his neck. He pushed Dan onto the mattress, crawling on top of him and pinning his arms down.

“Yes!” Dan moaned, his body responding to Phil’s change in demeanour.

Phil paused, a bit bewildered about Dan’s reaction. “What?”

“Fuck me,” Dan mumbled. 

Phil’s eyes widened, his resolution faltering. “What?”

Dan looked into his eyes and spoke up. “Please, fuck me.”

“Are you sure?”

Dan nodded, but when Phil didn’t move, he continued. “Phil, for fuck’s sake, I've been fingering myself in the shower thinking about you for years,” he said. “It's been years!”

Phil bit his lip as a memory crossed his mind. The first time they were together, Dan had asked Phil to ride him, it was only fair that he got to watch this time. “Alright,” he smirked. “Ride me.”

Dan didn’t need to be told twice. He nodded and straddled Phil, reaching for the bedside drawer, finding the lube and a condom in no time. Phil watched with rapt attention as Dan rubbed the lube between his fingers, his hand disappearing behind his back as he leaned down to kiss him and started stretching himself. 

Even though Phil had no way of seeing exactly what Dan was doing, he could feel every sigh into the kiss, the tremble of his legs, and the incredibly happy smile that graced his lips. He took this opportunity to get reacquainted with Dan’s body, gently gracing the tips of his fingers on his nipples, shoulders, and down his back, feeling the goosebumps the sensation brought Dan until he reached Dan’s lower back. Curiosity got the best of him as he traced Dan’s fingers down to his hole. “Do you need help?” he mumbled against Dan’s lips hoping he would say yes.

Dan broke the kiss and he shook his head. “Just kiss me, I can do it,” he said, shutting his eyes with a focused frown.

Phil smirked and pulled Dan down for a deep kiss, letting out a happy sigh as his hands travelled south once again, settling on Dan’s ass and helping him move, causing him to grind gently on Phil as he fingered himself.

Turning his head towards Dan’s side, Phil managed to kiss his neck and suck lightly before the other pulled away.

“Don’t do that or this will be over before it starts,” Dan hissed, sitting up. He gave Phil a stern look and passed the condom and lube to him.

“Sorry,” Phil said with a smirk, not feeling sorry for a second. He tore the packet, uncapped the lube and did his usual method, making sure that the condom was rolled correctly and well lubed inside and out.

Dan pulled his fingers out and wiped his hands on his discarded T-shirt before settling them on Phil’s chest. 

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Phil asked, not wanting Dan to hurt himself.

“Yeah,” Dan said, reaching back to grab Phil’s cock. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and looked into Phil’s eyes as he sank down slowly, his brows burrowed into a frown. 

There was a little resistance but Phil let Dan handle it on his own time.

“Fuck!” Dan moaned.

Phil was in heaven, his hands on Dan’s hips, helping him settle down slowly, feeling him pulse around him. “So beautiful,” Phil whispered.

“You,” Dan replied. He rolled his hips and it was Phil’s time to moan. Despite the stretching, Dan was so tight. “Always wanted to do this with you.”

“Yeah?” Phil asked breathlessly.

“Mhmm. I knew you would feel amazing,” Dan said. He started rocking, slowly at first but gradually getting into it. Throwing his head back, he rolled his hips again and again, pulling out and sinking back harder down with each roll.

Dan had such a beautiful neck, Phil wanted to bite it again, but he settled for watching the gorgeous expanse of skin just out of his reach, Adam’s apple bobbing as Dan swallowed and the muscles flexing as he moaned. Phil dug his nails into Dan’s hips and helped him sink down harder as they picked up the pace.

“Ah! Ah! Ah!” Dan whined, louder and louder and Phil was starting to get distracted thinking of the neighbours. 

Then he did it. He spanked Dan’s ass, throwing him off his rhythm but watching his cock twitch at the pain. That kinky bastard. “Be quiet,” Phil snickered.

“Make me,” Dan pouted, slowing down to a stop.

“Really?” Phil asked.

The blush creeping up Dan’s chest and neck confirmed it, even before he nodded.

Phil tapped Dan’s side. “Up. I’ll take care of you,” he said and Dan looked way too happy about it. “On your knees and elbows.”

Dan bit his lip and gave him a sly smile before obliging. Just as he was settling comfortably on his elbows, Phil grabbed his ass, spreading him open and slowly pushed inside as deep as he could. Dan let out a low moan and arched his back, trying to push back against him. Phil paused, holding him still, giving Dan a moment to adjust to the feeling again before pulling one of his hands behind his back and then the other, leaving him trembling on his knees until he settled forward on his shoulders.

“I can’t really move like this,” Dan said.

“That’s the idea,” Phil replied and grasped both of Dan’s wrists with one hand, placing a pillow in front of his face. “If you want to scream, do it into the pillow. I trust you to turn your head to the side if you can’t breathe.” 

“What if I want to choke?” Dan snorted and tried to move his hips but Phil spanked him with his free hand. “Ngh!”

“Do you want me to fuck you hard or gently?” Phil asked.

“Hard,” Dan groaned.

“Good. Then keep your hands behind your back like this,” Phil commanded. “Got it?”

“Yeah!” Dan moaned.

Satisfied with that reply, Phil let go of Dan’s hands and placed his own on Dan’s gorgeous hips again. He pulled out just a bit before thrusting back in, experimenting with different angles until he found what he was looking for. Smirking, Phil thrust harder and harder, barely able to hear Dan screaming his moans into the pillow above the sound of his blood rushing to his ears and the slap of flesh against flesh.

Dan put his hands down and pushed himself back against his thrusts. “Harder,” he begged as he began to tremble. “Please! please! I’ll be quiet,” he babbled.

Phil obliged, pulling out and slamming back into Dan as hard as he could, effectively pushing Dan into the mattress shoulders first again. “Touch yourself,” he said and continued to slam into him at a punishing pace.

Dan shut his eyes and turned his head to the side. He bit his lip hard, stifling his moans as his hand flew over his cock until he came with a silent scream.

Phil slammed into Dan one more time as deep as he could and came into the condom, shivering as he felt Dan’s overstimulated body twitch. He pulled out and discarded the condom but when he saw Dan’s beautiful body covered in a thin layer of sweat, his hair stuck to his face, and the bruises already forming on his hips, Phil couldn’t help himself and pushed one finger inside of him, pressing it gently against his prostate. He leaned over Dan’s body and whispered: “Can I eat you out, Baby?”

“Fuck,” Dan laughed looking at him over his shoulder. “Right now?”

Phil raised one eyebrow at him.

“Yeah,” Dan whispered. “Ok.”

Phil grabbed Dan’s ass and pried his cheeks open, exposing his hole and pressed the tip of his tongue against it, giving him teasing licks for a few minutes until he sneaked his hand around and confirmed his suspicions, Dan was getting hard again. 

“Bastard,” Dan said. “I’m too sensitive.” He pressed his face into the pillow.

“Do you want me to stop?” Phil teased.

Dan looked over his shoulder. “Shut up and eat me out,” he groaned.

“Bossy.” Phil laughed and shoved his tongue inside of Dan without further preamble. He alternated between thrusting his tongue inside and soft licks and kisses until Dan was ready to murder him. Only then did Phil properly fucked him with his tongue until his jaw was sore and even past that point, when Dan’s balls drew up and his hole clenched hard around Phil as he came for what felt like forever.

Dan lay down at his side, trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm and turned his head to look at Phil, his brows burrowing into a frown. Phil could see Dan’s expression slowly begin to change into one of worry, or even panic, as time went on.

“What’s wrong?” Phil asked, bracing himself as his anxiety began to rise with every second Dan stayed silent. “Please, don’t leave. Let’s talk about it.”

“I’m not leaving,” Dan mumbled, his eyes wide. 

“Do you regret it?” Phil asked, his voice small, already cursing himself for pushing Dan’s boundaries.

“No!” Dan said and rolled onto his side to face Phil, lacing their fingers together. “No, I swear. I just -”

“What?” Phil squeaked.

“I meant to say it on a romantic date, not like that,” Dan pouted.

Phil’s brain was beginning to come back online and then it hit him, what Dan had said earlier. He actually meant what Phil had hoped he did. “You love me?”

“You’ve always known that. What I meant to say was… I am in love with you,” Dan said and held his gaze, waiting for an answer.

Phil smiled widely, letting out a sigh of relief. “Me too. I mean, I love you so much.” He rolled onto his side to face Dan and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, dropping a few more around his face for good measure.

Dan giggled as Phil kissed him all over but still asked: “But are you in love with me? That’s different.”

Phil rolled his eyes at him. “Yeah, I am in love with you, dork.”

“Then you are my boyfriend now,” Dan said with a cheeky smile.

“Is that even a question?” Phil asked, amused.

Dan shook his head, a smile still on his lips. “No, Lester. You are mine now. No turning back.”

“Good.” Phil nodded. “Stay.”

“There’s nowhere else I would rather be,” Dan said, pressing a kiss to the back of Phil’s hand.

“Aww, that’s cheesy,” Phil teased.

“It’s supposed to be cheesy,” Dan laughed.

Phil tickled him until Dan was cry-laughing and begging him to stop. “God, I love you, I love you so much, you can’t imagine,” he said and pressed their lips together into a soft kiss, sighing happily. It was just a relief to be able to say it out loud; Phil hadn’t realised how much he’d needed to say it, to let Dan know. “I love you,” he said again and he felt butterflies in his stomach at the fond smile Dan gave him, his eyes full of love and almost adoration.

“I love you too,” Dan whispered.

In fact, Dan’s voice whispering sweet nothings into his ear was what lulled Phil to sleep peacefully. 

When Phil opened his eyes again, he felt inundated with a sense of happiness like he had never felt before, not in the early morning at least and not just for waking up, for being alive. 

His vision focused and he smiled as he saw Dan snoring softly at his side, the sunlight coming through the window making his skin glow, enhancing the little freckles on his shoulders and the warm brown in his hair. He grabbed his phone and snapped a picture of Dan before cuddling up to him and resting his face on his shoulder.

Dan stirred, his brows furrowed until he saw Phil and flashed him a smile. “Hi, love,” Dan said in his low and raspy morning voice.

Phil almost squealed at the pet name, but he controlled himself. “Hi,” he whispered. “Breakfast?”

“Mmm, yeah,” Dan said. “Later.” His head disappeared under the sheets as he made his way down Phil’s body laying kisses on his wake.

Phil’s shocked laugh soon turned into a string of moans and, for some reason, they didn’t make it to breakfast until much much later.

Dan was good on his promise. He stayed that day, and the next, and the one after that, until he had to return to work, and even then he came back in his spare time. Just like back in the day, there was barely a time when Dan wasn’t at Phil’s flat. He had, once again, “dumped all his shit” at Phil’s and made it his second home, and in December, when Dan’s lease was due, the decision was obvious: he officially moved in with Phil. 

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Crown Princes and Butterfly Wings (3/?)

Chapter 2 : Friendly Stranger

----

Our pair of adventurers becomes a trio, because neither Logan nor Roman have a clue what they're doing. At least now they have an expert on adventuring to help them out.

<- Previous | First | Next ->

@cutebisexualmess :)

----

Sorry about the lack of a chapter last week! It was Christmas, as I'm fairly certain most people are aware of even if they don't celebrate, so I was really busy. Not to mention I mass-posted nine chapters of a fic (go read it if you want, it's on my page) in three days and I didn't want to bombard people, so I kind of skipped a week with this one, haha. Oops.

----

Warnings: Roman is still kinda loopy at the beginning

----

"Roman?" The prince heard Logan yell from across the garden and seconds later the tiefling was in front of him, giving him a once over before turning to the person who had helped him. "What happened to him? Did you do this?" 

"Wha- no! No, of course not!" they cried. "Is- is he your friend? He wasn't looking too good and he said to bring him to the fountain so I just-" 

"Hey Logie," Roman said, only half aware of what he was saying. "I ate'a weird cake mmm- mn- now I'm here…" 

Logan stared at him, baffled,  before sighing, and chiding him in a tone of voice Roman thought made him sound like a dad. "This is why we don't accept random food from strangers, you dunce." 

"'m already feeling better though." Roman shrugged. "Thanks to glasses."

The person giggled. Roman could see them better now, they had curly dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes, and they weren’t dressed nearly as classy as he or Logan were, but the puffy blouse and bluish-grey overalls made him look rather friendly, so Roman didn’t mind. 

"I'm Patton!" he said with a smile. "Always happy to help!" 

"Are you familiar with this area?" Logan asked him. "I believe it would be the best course of action to find somewhere to stay after this… incident.” 

"Um- well I only just got here myself! But I need somewhere to stay too, so I'm sure we could look together?" Patton said, with a blinding grin. "There should be some kind of inn nearby, there always is!" 

“Alright…” Logan said slowly. “I will- concede that you likely know more about this process than we do, so I will agree to going with you.”

“Um- cool!” Patton said, his smile not faltering in the face of Logan’s slight strange way of words.

“Logaaaan- your words are loopy,” Roman whined, “Talk normal for once.”

“I am simply talking formally, Roman, and you should aspire to do the same,” Logan chastised. Patton giggled.

“And you’re the one who’s loopy, mister,” Patton said before standing up and shifting a big backpack that Roman had completely missed before onto his shoulders. It was a pretty big pack, almost as big as Logan’s, this guy must be travelling too. Roman thought, “Anyways, c’mon, I think I saw an inn on the way over here.”

Roman tried to stand up before tripping over his own feet. The only reason he didn’t fall face first onto the paved path of the garden was Patton’s quick reflexes. He quickly righted Roman again, but this time he slung one of Roman’s arms around his shoulders and let the—much taller mind you—man lean on him.

“I can take him,” Logan offered as he watched Patton- not struggle, per say, but he did look slightly off balance.

“Don’t you worry.” Patton smiled. “I’m stronger than I look! And besides, you’re already carrying that big ol’ pack! I wouldn’t want to put more weight on you!”

“You calling me dead weight, glasses,” Roman slurred, while Logan muttered about the fact that Patton was also carrying a similarly sized pack. 

“Of course not.” Patton laughed again, it almost felt like they were already best friends, like they’d known each other for years. “But you are pretty tall.”

“Comes with the high social class,” Roman giggled with a lopsided smile, obviously finding his own joke way more funny than it actually was in his state.

“Well that would explain why I’m so short,” Patton said. “Come on now, buddy, we gotta go.”

Together the three of them found the closest inn and Logan paid for Patton’s room as a thank you for rescuing Roman from his own shenanigans before they parted ways. Or, so they thought as Logan forced Roman to take a nap in their room while he busied himself studying the maps they had brought in an attempt to work out where they should go next.

—-

“Are you feeling well enough to discuss our journey?” Logan asked him as they waited for their food to be brought out. They were eating at the inn, because Logan didn’t trust him when he said he was fine enough for them to go and find somewhere nicer to eat.

“Yes,” Roman nodded. “I’ve told you already, Logan, after that nap I’m feeling better than ever!”

“Good, but please keep in mind your volume, we are in an unfamiliar space and I am not yet sure I have quite figured out the etiquette,” Logan told him quietly.

“You worry so much, Logan,” Roman said, rolling his eyes, but he did lower his voice, much to Logan’s gratitude.

“Thank you, now if you’re willing to be quieter about it,” Logan said, pulling out one of the maps he had been looking at before, “I would like to discuss the route we should take.”

“We have no idea where he’s going,” Roman said, looking at the map and then at Logan, “There are- hundreds of towns and villages in this kingdom, we can hardly search all of them.”

“No, you are correct we cannot,” Logan agreed. “It would take us years.”

“Then… what do we do?”

“I don’t suppose you remembered to bring anything with you that belonged to him, did you?” Logan asked slowly, “If so, I could perform a fairly simple tracking spell…”

Roman felt a little sheepish, why the hell hadn’t he brought something? It was obvious they needed a way to actually try and find Remus! It was true that it had been on the list Logan had given him and he just… hadn’t. Roman knew they had to find Remus—the Kings of this land may be his fathers, but that didn’t mean Roman could disobey orders—but then again… Remus was his brother, and he couldn’t just- do that to him. So… he’d just keep playing dumb, dumb was safe and didn’t want him to answer any complex moral problems.

“No I… forgot about that,” Roman said slowly, shaking his head. Logan sighed.

“Of course you did.” Logan shook his head. “There are more complicated spells that could be used, but almost all of them require an personal item… We may have to find somewhere that I can read up on magic spells. I know there are some that can do what we need… but I am unfamiliar with them.”

“H-hey um-” Roman jumped, looking up at the voice only to find Patton lingering a few steps away from the table, wringing his hands. He looked so nervous, looking down at the floor, Roman felt a little bad. “Sorry for- um- overhearing, but- but I heard you were looking for someone…”

“That’s true, though it is a private matter,” Logan said, eyeing Patton without turning his head, clasping his hands over the map that was still spread on the table. 

“Oh! I completely understand!” Patton quickly assured, raising his hands. “I just- it’s… kinda obvious that you’re new to this- or you wouldn’t be talking about something private in a bar- but I’ve been travelling for the last- um- eight? years? So I thought I might have some advice you guys could use…”

“...Alright.” Logan nodded. “You said we shouldn’t be talking here… is there somewhere better?”

“Aboslutely, if um- if you don’t want people hearing about whatever it is you’re doing, this is probably one of the worst places to be talking.” Patton chuckled. “Taverns and inns are the number one spot for gossip. If you want information, you come here, if we want to have a secretive conversion, we should go to your room, or mine- either way.”

“If that’s so,” Roman said, “I suppose we should continue this conversation once we have finished eating.”

“I didn’t mean to intrude on your dinner!” Patton yelped, stepping back. “I’m so sorry! You didn’t have any food, so I just assumed- I’m sorry for interrupting!”

“It’s alright,” Roman said immediately, and he noticed Logan relax from the corner of his eye, “You’re trying to help us, and you helped me earlier as well, I owe you.”

“No- no you don’t.” Patton shook his head. “I don’t expect anything in return! I just- I like helping people.”

“Still.” Roman shook his head with a smile. “Feel free to sit, if you’d like.”

Logan gave him a skeptical look and Roman just shrugged with a smile. He knew trusting strangers wasn’t a good idea (Logan had lectured him on it for fifteen minutes after they had left the castle) but Patton… Roman couldn’t help but like him. He was just so… friendly. But not just on the outside—Roman considered himself a fairly good judge of character and there was absolutely nothing about Patton’s niceness that seemed off in the slightest.

With an awkward smile, Patton pulled over a chair from the next table and sat down with them. Logan put away the map just as someone brought over their food and they ate in silence, with just the sound of other people having their own conversations in the background. 

When they finished, Logan led Roman and Patton up the stairs and to the room they had rented for the night before taking out the map once again and laying it across the small table in the corner of the room. The three stood around it. 

“Ok! So,” Patton started, looking at the map, “You’re looking for someone?”

“Yes.” Logan nodded.

“Can you, um, tell me who?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be a secret,” Roman said with an apologetic smile. Logan glared at him.

“Of course it’s supposed to be secret, Roman, that’s the whole reason we’re here and not someone much more capable.”

“Alright, um, not knowing who we’re looking for might make things more difficult.”

“My brother,” Roman said slowly. “I can’t tell you much more than that, but we’re looking for my brother.”

“Does he look like you?” Patton asked, tilting his head.

“They are twins,” Logan said with a sigh.

Roman nodded, “But he has a silver streak instead of gold, and green eyes instead of red.”

Laughing made Patton’s eyes crinkle at the corners and Roman couldn’t help how it made him smile. “So you’re… opposites?”

“Pretty much, yes,” Roman said with a shrug.

“Ok, so if you’re looking for information, you’re going to want to go here,” Patton told them, pointing at the map. The town his finger pointed at wasn’t that far away, though it was distinctly separate from the capital. “Mirefeld is known for its gossip, they have a pretty big trade and travel route going straight through the village, if anyone knows something about your brother, I’ll bet it’ll be someone there.”

“Mirefeld…” Roman said slowly, before lighting up. “Oh! I’ve heard of that, aren’t uh- aren’t they known for being a big meeting place for crooks and thieves too?”

“I believe so,” Logan said, nodding, before looking suspiciously at Patton. “Why would you wish for us to go somewhere with such a reputation for crime?”

“They’re the ones with all the gossip,” Patton said with a shrug, “And usually they’ll leave you alone, especially if you’re careful. I go there often and I haven’t had a single penny stolen yet… It’s kind of like a safe haven, I guess. I’m not trying to trick you, I swear.”

“This town is at roughly a three days walk from here,” Logan said with a sigh. “We’ll have to set off early tomorrow if we want to head in that direction.”

“Walk?” Patton blanched.

“I am unable to ride a horse,” Logan deadpanned, gesturing to his own legs. “I am not built for such an activity, and I’m fairly certain we don’t have the funds to buy a carriage.”

Patton flushed and looked away. “R-right- um- yeah that makes sense, sorry.”

“There’s no towns between here and Mirefeld,” Roman pointed out, still looking at the map, “Where will we stay for the nights we’re on the road?”

“Well sometimes there's outposts…” Patton said, “but I don’t think there’s any on the way to Mirefeld.”

“I suppose that means we will have to sleep on the road, then,” Logan said, eyes narrowing. “Which means we’ll need to allow time to buy some equipment, which means we will likely not be leaving until the day after tomorrow.”

Patton burst out in laughter. “Wait- wait- you don’t- you don’t even have camping equipment? What on earth have you got in that big bag of yours?”

Staring, Roman watched as Logan’s cheeks went purple—the guy was blushing. Roman was pretty sure he’d never seen Logan blush, Roman could barely keep down a laugh. Patton didn’t seem to have the same control.

“I… have brought with me multiple spellbooks and supplies for said spells,” Logan said, his tone carefully steady. “As well as a few others that I have been meaning to read for recreational purposes, and of course I brought a few journals to write down everything we learn on our travels.”

Roman stared at him. “You brought a library and have the audacity to call me the dumb one?”

“Excuse you, I am undoubtedly smarter than you,” Logan said.

“Yeah well at least I thought to bring spare clothes.” Roman rolled his eyes. Patton laughed again as Logan went even more purple, and his- literal- constellation of freckles dimmed slightly.

“It’s alright,” Patton said. “We can go on a shopping trip tomorrow- um- that is- if you’re both ok with me coming with you? I don’t- mean to be presumptuous-”

“Patton,” Roman interrupted, “I understand you seem to be nervous around us, but we’ve already proved multiple times that neither of us have a single clue what we’re doing. I for one would be delighted to have someone who actually knows travelling etiquette with us for this journey, Logan?”

“I believe… your company would be… beneficial,” Logan said eventually, after seemingly much consideration.

“Ok! Great- um- I guess I’ll leave you both be, then?” Patton said, already backing away from them. “I’ll- I’ll see you both downstairs in the morning?”

“Indeed!” Roman said with a nod of his head. “Sleep well, friend.”

“Um- you too!” Patton called, before bolting from the room.

It was a few minutes after Patton left before one of them spoke. Honestly, Roman was surprised it was Logan.

“He is… odd.”

Roman couldn’t help but burst out laughing against “Oh my- goodness, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush so much! I need to get him to reveal his secrets!”

“Respectfully, your highness, shut up,” Logan said, before walking over to one of the beds and sitting down. Roman just grinned and winked at him. “Go to sleep, you fool, we have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Yeah yeah, got it, Mr. ‘I’m going to bring a library on a travelling expedition,’” Roman said, before lifting his bag onto the bed and removing the nightclothes he had brought with him. He heard Logan scoff, but he was fairly sure it was fond.

Roman couldn’t help but smile as he settled down for the night. The bed was nowhere close to as comfortable as the one he slept in back at the palace, not even to mention that it was a single compared to his usual bed which was likely large enough to fit five people at a squeeze, but somehow he found that it really didn’t matter. He had spent the day in the city, hell he’d even made a friend—he was fairly certain he’d never made a real friend by himself since he’d befriended Logan, and even that wasn’t really his own doing. Logan was two years older than him and Remus, so they’d basically grown up together anyway. 

His thoughts were getting off topic, but he’d made a friend, which was… amazing, in itself, and Patton was going to help them with their journey! So now their party was of three instead of two. 

All things considered, this journey was shaping up to be an incredibly good one.

<- Previous | First | Next ->

[rewordthis]

writer ask: 14, 28 and 29

First of all thanks a bunch for the ask!!! 🥰 I did my best to answer coherently… So let’s see:

14. Where do you get your inspiration?

I never thought about this before, but I guess it’s mainly my own thoughts and music. Like a thought about a specific thing I’m bothered about or because it rains outside or a scene from a videoclip or a line from lyrics and I’ll just build up from there. Also huge inspiration are the characters themselves! I can never write for characters I am not fond of, but if it’s for my loves I can come across a song or an ad on tv and it’s instant “story time” or maybe a situation I haven’t seen in canon… That said, other media are indeed helpful as well as I have written a oneshot entirely based on a k-pop dude just running his hands through his hair from a fan vid, before. 😅 I guess you can say I have no real source, too and I am just jumping in on a story, randomly.

28. Your least favourite part of the writing process

Damn~ it’s gotta be the editing? Yeah. The editing. There are so many things I want to keep but at the same time I don’t want to keep because the reader has to find out for themselves, you know? Not to mention that verifying things or straight up having to rephrase something because it just doesn’t sound as nice as I want it, puts me in an odd frame of mind. Hmm… 🧐 Also for the past couple years that my pc is broken, editing on phone has me eating my pigtails! 😤

29. How easy is it for you to come up with titles?

I’m just vile with this one. I usually come up with a bunch of titles (literally have a file that only has a list of titles in it) and then I’ll be hellbent on writing a story for that specific title (this is awful because I have zero clue about the story 🫢). Or if I happen to write the story first, I just can’t come up with a title and simply slap on whatever vaguely the story is about… 🫠🫠🫠 Just look at that story I linked above or the latest one I have posted— I was thinking titles for days! and in the end I just gave up. haaa~

[banesberry-anomoly]

Doodles we did as a test to accompany some novella length rp responses, we havent done comic stuff before so it was mostly just fucking around (click on them for better quality and so you can actually see everything)

Sorry if its a bit hard to read, we'll be adding the responses under the cut so you can read em along side the doodles

" 'Hazbin Hotel'! The infamous hotel that Lucifer's bitchy daughter created to 'redeem' the sinners of hell. If that's not a waste of time, I don't know what is! Well, Let's get this fucker going. "

❝Zombie Ghosts Falling From The Sky!❞

" My name is Katie Killjoy and this is 666 News! Today we are talking about the cannibalistic ghosts that are falling from the fucking sky! These are your normal cannibals either. The sinners of hell have deemed them the, "SkyFrights". A horrible name that Tom came up with backstage! "

❝SkyFrights are eating everything!❞

" These hungry bitches are eating everything in sight. You would think that the sinners would try to stop them with guns and such but they are made of some fucking mist! King Lucifer has yet to make a statement on the situation and it seems that the overlord have no fucking clue what to do with these creatures from above. "

❝Sinners are turning into SkyFrights!❞

" Breaking News! Sinners are being bitten and turned into these fugly ghost zombies from the sky. We still have no idea how to kill these fuckers but we need to figure out fast. Oh look! They are breaking into the studio as we speak- "

END OF BROADCAST.

(The above was the starter posted by the gamemaster, below is our response that the doodles accompany)

Tropic stared at the television for a few minutes, watching the static dance on-screen before it changed to a 'technical difficulties' screen featuring Tom Trench. The fact that Tom was on there probably meant that he was put on there as a joke, the station not expecting to really ever need to actually use it. Tropic sat on the couch, not knowing whether to laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation or just sit there in stunned silence. SkyFrights… yeah it was an absurd name out of context, but given what had just been yelled by Katie Killjoy about these things, it was terrifying. Giving a nervous side glance across the room, Tropic sat for a moment before speaking.

"Aha- they're joking… right?"

The continuous test screen told otherwise. 666 News may cover things that they think are jokes sometimes, but they wouldn't pull one themselfs. Not one this elaborate, anyways. And the more Tropic thought about it, the more it tried to rationalize the situation, but came up with nothing. Its not like it'd really left the hotel much in the past week or two anyways.

". . ."

The tv went dark. Someone else turned it off. Good riddance I guess, the test screen noise was annoying. What Tropic needed right now was some music, but off course he'd forgotten both his headphones and his earbuds upstairs, and if he'd left to grab them someone would say something. So it just stayed put in the lounge. It rubbed its temples, feeling a headache coming on. Oh sweet Envy, now was not the time, especially when other people were around. Tropic pulled its hat down further over its face, attempting to block out more enternal stimuli to curb the headache early.

"This is the last thing I needed today."

Tropic sat for a moment, face covered by its hat. Just trying to… process everything.

"Hahaha- this shit is why I don't bother goin' out much 'cept to visit maybe two places. I disappear from most of the society that is hell for 2 weeks, and this happens. I though hell was chaotic before, but now there's fuckin' SkyFrights terrorizing people."

Tropic gestured wildly between the tv sat in front of it and the door of the hotel from where he sat in the lounge. It's normally relaxed demeanor had shifted into something else, more on edge than usual, and that was saying something. He didn't like this. At all. Is there ever a moment of peace down here, or is it all just chaos?

"This is bullshit, I don't wanna deal with this. There's no way this was just pulled out of someone's ass though, if the static is anythin' to go off of. 666 News wouldn't just cut short for no pridedamn reason, right?"

Letting out a large sigh, it shifted positions from sitting, to laying across the couch, to easier try to block out stimuli. The lounge was mostly quiet after the tv had been turned off, which was nice. That left it open to someone approaching if they were quiet enough, though.

"Can I just disable the option to go outside for a while? Is that somethin' I can do?"

Staring up into the darkness of the hat, it wanted to just crawl into it. Disappear for a while. He's done it before, could easily do it again, but he has people that would ask questions if Tropic just disappeared into the pocket dimension attached to the hat. So he quickly shoved that thought to the side. It closed its eyes to try and relax for a bit, before someone inevitably came over to ask what the fuck it was doing. One arm hung over the side of the couch while the other was draped across its chest, legs hanging over the arm rest.

"Sigh…"