#i have no clue if i am explaining well lol

[puppetmaster13u]

So anyway, thinkin about writing a oneshot or something...

[keeps-ache]

been telling my siblings 'you would NOT make it in vulcan academy' when they do smth goofy recently and nobody's been able to refute lol

[pepprs]

ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

[the-fox-in-the-socks]

The Mai Akasaki Mystery Flower - Solved?

feat. a mini-dissection of Mai's name

Hi! I have seen a few people here guessing what the flower on Mai’s tattoo is (mostly camellias iirc)… and I think I have the answer!

I think it’s Ochna integerrima, which is also known as the yellow Mai flower. (Hoa mai vàng is it’s Vietnamese name). Yes, the answer may be that simple: the Mai flower is literally the Mai flower. It seems to match her tattoo and is a very similar shade to her eyes.

(Note: I found most of this information in February last year when I just searched ‘mai flower’ on google and saw the results and was like ‘huh?’ and went down a rabbit hole from there lol.)

The flower has great significance to the Vietnamese Lunar New year, or Tết, short for Tết Nguyên Đán. They are used to decorate homes and are in full bloom during Tết, which is around late January to early or mid-February and lasts for around 7-10 days, which also lines up with Mai’s birthday (February 1st).

(please correct me if I am wrong, I got this information from Google and I am not Vietnamese and have never celebrated this holiday myself!)

There is a legend associated with the flower as well, which I believe might help explain what happened to Mai Akasaki.

https://botanicgardens.uw.edu/about/blog/2022/01/31/lunar-new-years-and-the-legend-of-the-mai-flower/

The following is copy-pasted from the above website:

"The Mai flower is named after a heroine in Vietnamese lore. Mai, a young warrior set off with her father to slay a giant serpent which had been terrorising their village. Mai’s mother gave her a bright yellow áo dài (traditional Vietnamese dress) to wear when she returned, so her mother could see her coming. Sadly, Mai ended up sacrificing her life to save her father from the serpent. Impressed by her heroic feats, the Gods made her a saint and granted her the ability to return home to her parents during the Lunar New Year celebration. After her parents passed, Mai transformed into a tree in front of her family home which blossomed with yellow flowers every year. Over time, the villagers would collect branches from this tree and decorate their homes for Lunar New Year."

And here are two other websites I looked at when researching this story:

https://scootersaigontour.com/legend-of-yellow-apricot-blossom-and-peach-blossom-on-vietnamese-new-year/

https://heritagevietnamairlines.com/en/the-tale-of-the-yellow-mai-flowers/

This leads me to believe that Mai sacrificed herself trying to protect the cast from a large threat, perhaps the mastermind/MonoTV, or sacrificed herself during the HPA operation that @1moreff-creator mentions in their post Everything We Know About Mai Akasaki + So Many Theories – @1moreff-creator on Tumblr. (this post is basically the Mai bible, please check it out!)

Additionally, MonoTV’s Mai-related secret quote “It’s all your fault”, and the second anniversary code with the same message, and some of the other Mai secret quotes talking about her in past tense imply that she has already passed, and that the cast is the reason why, which could mean she sacrificed herself for them... so I don't think she is the mastermind!

Her surname can also potentially provide us with clues.

“aka” means red, the same colour as her hair

“sa” means bloom or blossom, a reference to her flower tattoo

“ki” means hope, and why that is important is pretty self-explanatory if you've seen anything Danganronpa related

and "saki" means blossom of hope

(These are all Japanese meanings. I just used google for these translations, I do not know Japanese).

This means that her sharing the same name as this flower is likely not just a coincidence, but a deliberate choice by DRDTdev.

Submitted Surnames with "red" in Meaning - Behind the Name

Tenma Saki | Project SEKAI Wiki | Fandom

(yes I just cited the project sekai wiki as a source in my drdt theory, I don't know how I got here either)

The only problems with this theory that her flower is a Mai flower (that I know of) is probably the Literature Girl Insane flowers and the flowers in the bonus episodes being different colours. For the LGI flowers they may just be different flowers altogether that are there to symbolise something else, or a different aspect of Mai... I'm not sure. And the bonus episode flowers could just be coloured differently for aesthetic purposes.

tl;dr The flower on Mai's tattoo may actually be called 'Mai', it suggests she sacrificed herself and probably isn't the mastermind and her surname reinforces the idea that her name choice is not a coincidence.

This is my first tumblr post so apologies in advance if anything about the formatting is weird! Also critisism is appreciated, I would love to hear your thoughts on this :D

[sgiandubh]

Show must go on...

... and rather very much in your face, mind you.

Scottish Xena posted two stories at about 7 AM, counting calories, and, in the process, making sure to address roughly any objections that were ventilated on this side of the fandom, including this very page. See for yourself...

What are the odds she'd be talking about nutrition? Right. I am not an idiot. I know when something is way Over The Top - less is more, Xena. Less is always more: there was no need to overdo it like that, placemat and all, if you wanted to remain credible. You read us and you have been instructed to do so, just to perfectly stick to your walking, talking and very profitable Local Innuendo script.

Fair enough. And then, you also tell us that you will be at Hyrox today around noon, to film some ESN promo: your bread and butter, of course. S is just for shits, giggles and that Instagram yield:

So, there's that. *urv connecting dots like crazy, without having the slightest clue of what was discussed at that table. Her own brand of cheap fanfic for the masses, for the other five clowns commenting, out of which three at least are her own sock accounts.

Cue in the Useful Idiot. The Brazilian Tourist and Fan. Uma senhorita tão desagradável, who changed her story in between her first reaction reel and the debrief, back at her suburban Airbnb or where the fuck that was filmed.

First reaction reels:

'Just saw SH.' Not alone, oh no: 'com uma moça'. With a girl. So yeah, she had qualms asking for a pic.

First lie and dramatization. She posts a message for S where she explains she did not dare approach him, but she saw him alright. The one in Portuguese is completely different, though: 'I am going to post the video without sound, because I could only say "what a shame", while I was filming him on the sly. LOL.' I guess she thinks we are all idiots, or something. Also, in her reel, she confirms: 'ele estava almoçando com outra pessoa'/he was having lunch with another person. So far, so good, right?

Six hours later, a second debrief batch of reels, taking her reader's questions. The narrative changes, with a strong bias:

'Yes, he is super accessible and educated! I did not freak out, I just politely asked to take a pic (what I do consider the right way to approach famous people, at the end they are still human beings).'

For the people in the back: she is a lady. And a liar. The worst kind of liar, actually: a narcissistic one. Let's see what else she takes great pains telling us: 'ele tem um fandom bem tóxico'/he has a very toxic fandom. From now on, we just know what to expect, right?

Second answer, she explains he is very tall. He went inside to pay the bill and then he also went towards the bathroom (wtf?), she followed him inside, she asked for the menu, he finally went out and she approached him ('abordei' - 🙄) between the door and her table. Classy.

Cue in to a third answer (and second lie) to a very odd question: 'what did he smell like?' or something along those lines. For this one, I had to ask confirmation from Shipper Mom, who told me two things (she knew next to nothing about the whole episode- no bias): ' it's damn hard to understand what the hell she is talking about, she is eating half of her words. Plus you can tell she is lying.'

He doesn't smell, she tells us. But hey, she also freaked out a bit, finally (I thought she hadn't?!) and then well, 'ele estava com outra pessoa, uma moça, deve ser a namorada dele'/ he was with another person, a girl, probably his girlfriend'. But then he went inside (again? wasn't he coming out of the venue?), 'and the girl stayed at the table'. Things go murky afterwards, like they absolutely always do: she tells us she spoke to her (?), but would not say anything more, yet making sure to tell us she 'saw both of them'.

If anyone has a better version than mine, please step forward: we listened three times in a row, with Shipper Mom, a teacher of Portuguese and published literary translator. She was appalled by this young woman's carelessness and mendacity.

The Brazilian Tourist Fan is 23 years old (and it shows), she presents herself as a journalist and writer:

Seriously? What are the odds?

And finally, to wrap it up, the classical cheering moment, at yesterday's Hyrox: ' yeah, Sarah, nice!'

Nice, indeed.

FFS. Will it ever end?

Yes, it will. Anything ends: even Stalin's terror.

[trellia]

I decided to re-draw the VERY FIRST digital art I did, which was in September of 2001. (second drawing ). Back then I would draw and ink on paper, scan it, and color it with a mouse and I honestly have no clue how I had this much patience because I didn't know about layers then and worked on only one layer??? ( not sure how I got the background in there either lol)

First painting is the new piece with the updated character ( Angel/Angela in 2024). As you can see, a LOT has changed. She was a character I created for an American McGee's Alice roleplay on a forum. I think I wanted her to have a connection to the Cheshire Cat, hence the cat ears and tail. ( Listen I was 19, I loved cats too much (still do tbh lol) don't @ me lol). This is DEFINITELY not the case with the recent piece as she has little to do with Wonderland anymore, but I didn't really wanna take all of it away. She also changed nationality over time much, much later so I fixed her skin color to reflect that, as well as the jewelry and attire which uh.... yah, back then I was EXTREMELY influenced by 90's american comics ( l also knew nothing of anatomy which explains why she has no organs in the old piece >> ). I think it shows how much I have changed with time, both artistically and mentally.

However, I won't lie, I am not happy with the result... I started this piece at the beginning of June, then got extremely ill and had to work on this on and off during the month... which also means none of my interactions with the piece were the same and it shows. I feel like there's too much going on and the wing stumps are lost in there. Maybe a decade or two from now I'll repaint this again with a different perspective and better health.

However I am better now and I can paint more properly.

So apologies with this regurgitated piece lo!!

Regardless, thank you for sticking with me during these difficult times. Mucho appreciated!!! Much love!!

[yayll]

Hiii i hope you're feeling better soon :(( I was wondering if I could request a Dazai x reader fic where the reader has PTSD? Specifically, the beginning of autumn kind of triggers her (sorry if it's a confusing i dunno how to word it lol) Could it be fluff/comfort? Btw I love your writing style so badly so pls tweak the idea if you think it would work better! And no worries if you'd rather pass :33

hii angel i genuinely am sorry that this took me a while! (work and life happened a little more than usual, GOT SICK and barely had time to sit down and write.) it was so ivover but i am fine now thank u so much bub!

i REALLY hope you like this and that it's what u wanted, i've never written someone w PTSD before and i was just rlly hoping i didn't mess this characterization up for ur request ahhh. i had such a nice time writing it and i rlly wanted to explore the impact it could have around reader and dazai and him going out of his way even if it could be a little goofy and sappy to make u feel at least a little better even if u can't talk abt it.

i love uuuu thank u again! <3

~ a little something about Dazai noticing harmful patterns and loving you through them ~

He's been watching you sit by the window for the past half hour as you stare at what seems like the beginning of the new season outside. You were quieter than usual, more withdrawn and jumpy, which could only mean that you weren't sharing something with him- or rather having trouble processing something to the point where you didn't realize he could tell something inside you was on high alert.

Dazai would rather die than see you in such a state, especially during what's supposed to be such an exciting time of the year that's full of the things you usually love to do. Whatever is impeding you from enjoying the leaves falling has to be dealt with the most delicate of methods, but especially with love. If you taught him anything about the past haunting you to the point of mental distress, something he suffered bouts of every now and then when memories made days grow dark, it's that all you need is one person to truly witness you. Just like how you've seen the ugliest parts of him time and time again yet you still look at him with all the stars in the sky, stars he consumes like a black hole waiting to be filled.

Luckily for you, he has an arsenal of things he can try to soothe you with, because he wouldn't be a good detective AND boyfriend if he didn't keep all those context clues in his pocket for a bad day. Mainly though, he was just completely attuned to your every need. You are his happiness, and your wellness isn't up for debate: It's mandatory. He stands up from the loveseat with a deep exhale as he walks over to you, his lips curled in a lazy smile as he tests the waters to see what you could need from him without asking.

"You know, if you stay any more still I could probably paint you like one of those fancy paintings. What do you say, be my model?"

You look over at him from the window, and he can visibly tell you haven't been at ease lately. He suddenly realizes he's just fallen even more in love with you. That there is nothing in this world that could ever let him see you as anything but his heart.

You murmur, a faint smile decorating your serene face.

"Mm, I'm not sure. I don't think I could pose for that long, you know? It would probably be hard to catch my likeness, heh."

He clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes with a playful smirk. Oh how he wants to lean in and worship your likeness with his loving touch, but he decides to take it easy on the physical affection for now, not until he knows you're feeling up for it. He can be a good boy, something he usually isn't.

"Well, I wouldn't mind being the brave young knight who tries~ Shall we take this outside for better lighting?"

You instantly don't give him a good reaction to that. You shrug, seeming conflicted and unsure of yourself, but unable to really bring yourself to explain with words, something uncharacteristic of you.

No problem! Dazai thinks to himself. If you don't want to go outside, he can bring outside to you in the comfort of home. He'll enhance your safe space, and tailor it to just what you need. He hums, tapping his temple in an exaggerated manner as if he were thinking really hard and when he sees that it gets a small giggle out of you, he knows he's on the right track.

"Hm, I know what we should do instead. Wait here, angel.~"

He disappears into the hallway and you sit there as the sound of cabinets opening and rummaging around fills the air. You smile to yourself, and shake your head at the mental image of Dazai becoming a tornado to find whatever he's looking for right now, hoping he doesn't make too much of a mess. You fidget with your hair, twirling it in between your fingers as you take a deep grounding breath while you wait.

A moment later, he comes back with what seems like art supplies and a ton of mini candlesticks.

He knows you're intrigued when you tilt your head in confusion, but then again that's probably just the confusion... Dazai sets down two canvases along with the candles, flashing you a mischievous grin. If you couldn't process your feelings through words, art was always there! You look over the activities he's laid out for you both, awaiting his silver tongued explanation.

"You know when I want to be the little spoon but I don't say anything?"

You laugh softly, and nod.

"Mhm, you get all moody and weird."

He nods back, a half smile on his face as he rests his hands on his hips. He wants to tell you that the only reason he even knew such intimate luxuries is because you showed him that he's worthy of it, of being loved, but he doesn't say anything. He lets the sweet memories between you swim through his mind as fuel for the day he's trying to create for you. His voice sounds more like he's talking out loud now, lost in a thought..

"You make me moody and weird. You also make me want to grab your soft little face and just..."

He then snaps back to the moment, and his tone picks up.

"... But alas, there is no time to waste! Come, sit, I'll get the other things ready.~"

He zooms off to the kitchen, and your heart softens at how much he fusses over you, though you also hope you aren't being too much. You know he'd hate to hear that, so you simply sit down and look over the supplies you had honestly forgotten you had.

Dazai makes tea, because he knows it helps with your fidgeting and you like how the mug feels in your hands, he also begins to set the candle sticks all over the living room, lighting them one by one. You flash him a look of faint concern.

"Feels like Dracula's castle. You sure this is safe, Osamu?"

He simply grins impishly.

"It's called 'mood lighting', cutie. There is an atmosphere to be created!"

"Yeah, and possibly a wildfire."

"Boo, you're no fun. Besides, that sounds like a problem for future us. We live in the moment."

Dazai would never risk your safety and you know that, which is why you don't push the topic any further.

You two settle in, the candles illuminating you both with a warm flame that feels more comforting than you'd like to admit, you feel yourself becoming more immersed in the random little doodles and brush strokes you create as you both talk for hours about literally nothing while sipping on your tea. Nothing feels nice, for once and Dazai can see it in the way you slowly become less and less tense. So mindful, so beautiful.

After you fill your canvas, you set it down, and peer over at Dazai's.

"What'd you paint?"

He smiles sheepishly, and hides his.

"Not finished yet. No peeking!"

He stands up and in one swift motion, runs outside, while leaving you bewildered at the spontaneity of the situation. A few moments later, he runs back inside, huffing with his arms behind his back. He sits back down on the floor with you, criss crossed. He grabs his canvas, and puts something on it as he slowly unveils his work to you.

It's a single crisp leaf he must have plucked from the grass when it fell, the orange and reddish hue placed on the canvas that shows a cartoonishly painted tree as well. He murmurs, eyes trained lovingly on you but with that familiar playful tone.

"I wanted you to get a little air. It's good for one's mood, you know."

You slowly take the leaf, and twiddle it in your thumb as you begin to smile to yourself. You mutter back.

"The weather changes, moods change, it's so overwhelming sometimes..."

He slowly leans in a little closer and places a hand on the small of your back, inching you closer to him too. He wants to distract you from those thoughts affecting you, but it's getting harder when all he can think about is how much you affect him. He whispers.

"My mood never changes, you're the most precious thing I have ever seen all year round."

You look up at him, your eyes communicating what you feel, and he picks up on it with a silent confirmation. You hold each other's gaze for a long quiet moment and when you feel ready you lean into his chest, nuzzling into him. He envelops you in a hug that feels like the remedy you've been searching for this whole time, and it almost brings you to tears. You don't know it also does the same to him. He gives you a soft squeeze and leans down to your ear, his warm breath feeling like the way life is supposed to feel. You mumble, your voice slightly muffled against him.

"Thank you, Osamu. Love you."

He smiles at that. To be something so soothing to you, to be of use for once in his life, it's a feeling that he could never describe. He'll have to find the words when he covers you in kisses from head to toe later, when he makes sure you feel the full extent of his devotion to you through thick and thin. He exhales deeply.

"Change of season, change of mind... It doesn't matter to me. It's still you. It will always be you."

[akkivee]

hello vee.

@/twogallonhats on twitter made this iceberg, and now i am subjecting you to this. Explain to the best of your knowledge, good luck.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh okay sure

idk why rhyme anima is listed tbh it’s just a zany anime version of hypmic but that very well may be the reason lol like it gave us a man by the name of tom whisper weathercock lol

there’s always a prolific push for your fav to win the drb lol. iirc during the championship round in the 1st drb there was a fan?? fans??? who gave money to some guy with a following to post a video of him asking everyone to vote for mtc lol. jp fans for the second got together and made eng/kor/ch instructions on how to vote in the vr battles it’s a time can’t wait for that to kick off next year 😬

arb is technically not canon and therefore ooc lol

idk what hypmic tictok sounds mean. i can tell you of a few times hypmic was trending on tiktok tho lol

idk if they were even a soundcloud rapper, but some soundcloud rapper fell in love with hypmic and decided to make ichiro his oc/persona and put himself on a team with jyushi and samatoki and they were california division lol

back in 2018???? hypmic posted a christmas video except it was just champagne gold and base hifumi.png in a santa hat slid across the screen truly graphic design is hypmic’s passion lol

i mean there was a brief time there were rp accounts on twt so ig that’s what it

kimura loves black people so much and wants to be black so bad he felt the need to bl@ckface for one of his album drops. fandom asked he take down the posts, he didn’t, fans called him out on it, he blocked them

around the time when there was rumblings that gbr was exiting uhhhhh the eu i think, a dice cosplayer had a video of themselves popping mentos in a coke bottle go viral. someone in british politics used it as a metaphor for whatever stance they had on brexit lol

lol i’m lumping hypstage and hypnama together since i don’t think there’s a real reason they’re listed other than occasionally being points of discussion

hifumi was the original tbh creature

asmr tubers vibe with hypmic characters being their yandere bfs

idk if it’s more than memeing on hitoya but that hitoya card in the pic was clowned on so hard LOL

i couldn’t tell you a specific instance of it but hypmic jank includes frequent misspellings lol

lol i also don’t know if there’s actual controversy behind oridivis besides them getting thanos snapped

*rio voice* curry friday and the mtc seiyuu used to celebrate it lol

there was a collab with some instant curry company (probably called curry meshi lol) and they had the leaders rap a song for it. the songs’ are fun and what’s even funnier is that the song has the leaders sharing this curry and kuukou technically didn’t eat the curry bc it was all gone by the time the cup reached him (and jakurai ate most of it LOL)

i have no fcking clue what weenor busujima is lol

the fact hyprice is a thing is a damn good reason to be here lol. ogs know a hypmic series producer made the joke in 2018 during a hypnama that spawned the concept years later lmao

there was a typo on kuukou’s introductory bio that said he was 68cm LOL

akuma no hana is indeed a song about sex idk what else to tell ya lol

throwback to the hypmic bathtubs they had a live for crazy ass hypmic merch moments lol

the hangout streams are located in this building called mixalive. instead tagging that building’s twt for one of their events, hypnosis flava iirc, they mistakenly tagged a porn twt lol

there was an art trend a few years ago where artists drew their bde faves (and even real people got in on the trend) balancing a shampoo bottle on their big 🍆. ichiro was unfortunately the face of the trend

stage hitoya went viral for that pic used in the iceberg and i had to see randos calling him a two face ass character ONLY HYPMICS ARE ALLOWED TO BULLY HITOYA DAMN YOU

the seiyuu are always getting up to shit backstage lmao tradition is ishiya-san and amasaki-san prowling up on the mtc seiyuu menacingly lmao

if there’s drama or anything of relevance outside of yes stream discords exist, ion know about it lol

a few songs are inspired by/interpolate from other songs. this a normal thing in the music industry (let’s get physical by olivia newton john and physical by dua lipa comes to mind) but hypmic caught a lot of flack for ‘stealing’ from black artists. shinogi dead pools is kendrick lamar’s drank swimming pools bar for bar lol but again, it’s very normal lol the whole kendrick vs drake rap battle that happened this year literally was them using each other’s sound to diss them

some european(?) indie film had an actor wearing ichiro’s jacket

there was a brief trend in jp where they made snow sculptures of their characters as means of attractions and hypmic jumped in on it. it produced the ugliest kuukou known to man he was so unflatteringly scrunckly i loved him LOL

????? bat seiyuu family???? i’m sure what i have in mind is not what they have in mind lol but i mean yeah it’s a running joke that the bat seiyuu consider each other family lol shoutout to sakakihara-san randomly calling hayama-san his ‘onii-chan’ and both hayama-san and sakakihara-san bullying tf outta takeuchi-san by calling him ‘papa’ lol

ariana grande is based about samatoki and there’s proof lol

hypmic vs crsm rap battle was REAL and fumiya wanted to EAT THEM

kamio-san has taken to slapping kuroda-san’s ass and kuroda-san has taken to trying to murder him for it 😌

quite recently lol mtr’s album art was leaked ahead of the hangout stream in a post meant to advertise the fan meeting lol

british dice was a theory i didn’t pay attention to bc i kinda thought just the concept was dumb *wheeze* i think it had something to do with a mistranslation about dice’s father

the rest of that tier i have no fcking clue about lol

in a camera transition during the 9th live, someone’s desktop background was on screen instead of the yknow, livestreaming concert lmao

they got some ddb members to make choreography to move your body til you die!!! i tried i didn’t think it was too bad but the pace of the dance needed to be slowed down eventually lol

if this isn’t poking fun at sensei saying men should automatically know how to rap idk what that is lol

if there’s a trip the mtc seiyuu have taken that stands out from the others, i don’t know about it lol

the hypmic cafe that’s going on rn have these stickers??? standees??? for sale and someone stole all of samatoki’s LOL

[wolvebonez]

hypothetical fawn golden shaded grizzle!

Soooo as I have mentioned briefly I am in a wcrp, in which said wcrp uses genetic terms & has a genetic roller for rp. someone came in and asked what THIS beast might look like

And so I figure I'll share what I came up with since it took me So Fucking Long and I do think enough ppl who follow me might be interested!!

This is the end result!! I will be copy/pasting my explanation & inserting more images below

Im going to be using more basic explanations of a gene and only in relation to how they apply to this cat so im not writing 5 million word

To start, we have a regular fawn ticked tabby!

Wideband then makes the hairs of the cat have more pheomelanin (golden/background color) and less melanin (fawn color), as well as usually restricting the melanin to the tip of the hair.

Theeennnn we introduce silver (as seen below), which reduces the amount of pigment found in the pheomelanin; when combined with wideband making a cat look particularly pale (since any melanin in the wideband-effected hairs can also be broken up/less "solid," it can result in melanin looking more diluted/warm, it can also visually lighten the melanin areas on a cat.) I probably should've made the pale parts more desaturated at this point but ignoring that….

This is where we get Really Hypothetical!

As far as I'm aware we don't really know what chausie grizzle is or does. I've seen sources like messybeast (lol) claim that it is just silver-tipping found in black chausies/melanistic jungle cats but I dissagree. I personally believe a theory [User] initially mentioned to me is more probable; the idea that it is moreso the expansion of agouti; Potentially making the tabby hairs of the cat have more melanin than normal. (Maybe also restricts it towards the base of the hair to explain the satin-like appearance it can have?)

So…given that they basically would have the opposite effects assuming that this is true, there's really no saying how they'd interact. They could cancel eachother out, one could be dominant over the other, ect… There's also no telling which one of these options is more likely.

I went with the idea that the grizzle would be more dominant/have more effect, but that the wideband could potentially still be in effect where the grizzle seems to be least present (around the belly & flanks) which kind of breaks up the solid-ness of most grizzle cats (since grizzle does vary a lot.)

Silver would still work the same throughout all of this & make the phaeomelanin a lighter almost-white color. (There's a potential grizzle also does this too? But. shrug.) …Again I really should've made the light yellow color more silver-colored but i digress.

Now we have colorpoint! Also have no clue if it'd have some weird secret surprise fucked up effect on grizzle but it does seem to be a fairly reliable gene in that it is just a form of albinism so it should have a similar or same effect on everything. It just inhibits colors in the warmer areas of the body & allows it in the colder parts (thus, extremities!)

....And from there you've guys seen what I did when I added the thai white! Not sure how DBE would effect it, but I made my best guess & it wasn't the most important part of this . adventure jdbhjhg

Oh, bonus picture of my canvas with the most refs i've ever used for one piece lol. (Digital piece, anyway. Ceramics is another thing entirely....)

shoutout to @/felinefractious for sourcing pretty much all of said refs lmao

[crazyk-imagine]

The Last of Her Kind

Pairing: Peter Pevensie x Knight!reader

Characters: Peter Pevensie, Susan Pevensie, Edmund Pevensie, Lucy Pevensie, Knight!Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, sweetness, reader has a sad backstory, reader is powerful, happens with the first movie, the kids are aged up, reader helps Lucy, the Pevensie's don't know what they got involved with, per usual, this was a little itch in my brain write, I'm better now that it's out lol

Word Count: 1.1K

A/N: Peter is 18, Susan 17, Edmund 15, and Lucy 13

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A knock on the door should have been the first clue but still in your paranoia, it’s never easy to decipher whether it’s safe or not.

You cautiously walk to the door, finding four children on your door mat as you check through the peephole.

"Who are you?" You ask, not wanting to be taken to the one who deems herself the queen of Narnia.

You wish Aslan would take her down now.

"Uh- I am- am-"

You furrow your brows at the blond’s behavior. "Are you stuttering because you don't know how to lie?"

"What?" He scoffs, "no- no, I'm not."

You glance over him once more. "Doesn't sound like it."

He scrunches his nose. "You're not exactly who I imagined I'd be meeting either but we can't focus on that now, can we?"

"Well, now I'm definitely not opening the door now." You step away, hoping that they’ll leave.

Peter scoffs, staring at the door. "How can you be such a-"

Susan pushes him away.

Lucy steps forward, knocking on the door.

The blond shakes his head, “Luc, it won’t-”

"Would it change your mind if we told you Aslan is gathering troops to defeat the white witch?"

Your snaps in her direction.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

Edmund rolls his eyes. "He told us where you live, duh."

"Edmund," Susan smacks his shoulder.

He shrugs. "What?"

The door swings open, startling the siblings. “What’s happened to him?” You step forward, “where is Aslan?”

Lucy asks if the four of them can come in so she can explain.

-

You step away to pull your tea kettle off the stove. “I am sorry to hear that but I’m afraid you’ve all made this trip for nothing.”

“What do you mean? You’re not going to join us?” Edmund asks.

You stare into the cup you cradle in your hands, watching as the steam wafts into your face. “I cannot.”

“You’re just going to let her win?”

Your head snaps up, “you make it seem as if I want her to win.” Your hands clench the cup. “Don’t you think if I could, I’d join you all! If I could lift my sword the way I used to- I’d join you in a heartbeat but I cannot. I,” you sigh. “The last battle it- I’m as good as dead now. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I understand perfectly.” The dark haired boy haphazardly sets his cup down. “You are a coward and are too afraid to admit it.”

Susan trails after him, calling out his name followed by Lucy.

You gulp, knowing he’s right.

“Don’t listen to him. He means well, he’s just- he’s not good with words.”

You shake your head. “No, he’s right. I- I am-”

“A strong fighter who knows when to not push themself past their limits,” Peter finishes before you can.

The corner of your lips twitched, “I appreciate your kind words but I am afraid if you do not leave now, you won’t be able to catch up with your siblings.”

He nods and steps out.

-

You sigh, pushing your clothes to the side.

Your hand twitches at the sight of your sword, feeling the magic pulling you in; a connection you haven’t felt in years.

You pull it out and hold it for a moment, remembering the first time you were called into battle, even though you were nervous; it was this- the tingles- the magic flooding into your veins that keeps you going.

You close your eyes.

-

You quickly throw on your armor before heading out.

All your fellow soldiers and comrades, bow on one knee.

The Pevensies can sense a change in the field and turn to find you, plus an army.

Your second in command bows. “It’s good to have you back, my queen.”

Edmund’s head snaps to you. “Q-queen? I- I insulted a queen?” He turns to Susan and whispers, “did you know?”

She stutters, unable to find an answer.

“I haven’t been one in ages, I preferred being on the field more.”

Peter stands in front of you. “It’s good to have you here then, my queen.”

You wave him off, wanting him to stand as an equal. “You are more likely to be the newest of royalty here, High King.”

-

You lost sight of the three eldest but sought after Lucy.

You followed her, not wanting her to endure the true pain of war. “Lucy! Lucy!”

She stops as you call for her and pulls you with her. “We need to cross.”

“It’s dangerous here.”

“It’s less dangerous if you help me.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”

“I do, Aslan told me stories of you. I need your help if we are to find him.”

You sigh, “stay behind me.” You close your eyes and hope for a miracle.

“Open your eyes,” she tells you.

You slowly peel your eyes open and gasp. “I did it.” You spin around with wide eyes, “Lucy, I did it!”

“I told you, you could.”

You find Alsan on the opposite side, nodding to you.

-

You and her search for her siblings, letting the Pevensie's reunite from a distance, scouring the lands for any potential threats.

Peter makes his way to you. “Thank you for looking out for my sister.”

You nod, “of course, I couldn’t let one of our queen’s fall from the throne.”

The corner of his lips twitch. “Right-”

You nudged his arm, “I’m kidding, I wasn’t going to leave her alone during these- what was a dark time.”

He offers a small smile, “well thank you… for everything.”

“What did I do? I didn’t do anything.”

“You brought us more soldiers and helped us, even if we are strangers.”

“Well, although my parents taught me never to talk to a stranger, I admit, you four are worthy of earning my trust.”

Edmund bumps into you from behind and turns, prepared to apologize once he realizes it was you. “I apologize, your highness.” He bows.

You offer him your deadliest stare. “You will be punished for bumping into me.”

His jaw drops, “wh- what?”

“Prepare for your end.”

His eyes widen at your words. “I did nothing wrong.”

You step closer and pat his cheek, “no you didn’t and that’s why I decided to mess with you.”

You glance over your shoulder, staring back at Peter, “I’ll see you at your ceremony.”

He furrows his brows. ‘Ceremony?’

His eyes never leave your figure as you walk away, checking over everyone you can. 

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Better Novel Scrivener Template

BTW, If you liked the Settings Template, this has that plus more...

The Current Novel Template is out of date, the templates aren't really doing much for you. And the variety of icons is rather thin. I set out to fix this.

The template as a whole is PG-13 as the Character Template mentions "dangerous" things like "Kinks" and "Safe Words" OMG. I know. So terrible. So if you don't want to explain those things to anyone underage, don't download it.

As I am NB, and generally queer otherwise, I have included things like Sexual Orientation, Romantic Orientation and a whole load of things to think about when building CHARACTER, SETTING, WORLDBUILDING. I included things that people often forget by using my Uni and College knowledge.

Please, please read the "Read Me First" file if you want to avoid having to load missing icons. I give instructions.

In case you still opened it despite my warnings or it doesn't work, you'll have to load in the icons manually. In which case this is a reference:

The New Icons are: Domestic Products, Imported Goods, Exported Goods, Laws, and Social Stratification. I added extra icons for Weapons and Warfare in case you're not writing Fantasy. Laser Guns and a Historical Pistol.

I did my best to make it CULTURALLY NEUTRAL. If you want them specific, you're on your own.

I also added if you'd like to load them

All these Icons to the folder so You can finally color code your manuscripts to your heart's content. (My unending frustration with Scrivener).

I added an SVG file so if there is an exact shade I missed on the Spiral Notebook Colors or the Hardcover Books, you can add it.

The Composition Notebook file isn't included as it contains a pattern. However, I made pains to make sure it matches real life colors that exist in Composition Notebooks. You wanted the Settings Template? There are 2. One for City/Towns. One general one.

Zero Organization or Clue on Querying or Self pubbing?

I put up Organization Folders for you.

Here are the Templates you get. Everything is beefed up for you. I spent forever on these Templates and testing them. I also cued Styles to them so it's easy to change the colors. If you want to change something, as the About document says, turn on invisibles.

The Default Styles aren't useless anymore.

If you need a more Definitive Guide, I also made one in the file:

Download the Scrivener Template. It is a ZIP FILE Win Zip or other Zip app should be able to handle it.

Warning: Direct Download https://www.kimyoonmi.com/BetterNovelScrivenerTemplate.zip If you want to Skip the Template completely, but are wishing to add the Icons to your Scrivener:

https://www.kimyoonmi.com/ScrivenerIcons.zip

This template itself is not for sale or profit nor are the icons. Also don’t be the person that lies that says you made it. It’s a Creative Commons License Attribution, Noncommercial, No Derivatives by Yoonmi Kim 2024. You may change it for personal use only. Any problems can be addressed directly to me at https://www.kimyoonmiauthor.com. If you would like to translate this into other languages, let me know.

Don't be the ass that tries to sell my hard work, 'cause really, it's free. And I spent a lot of pains and time to make sure it's free and easy to use with a lot of subtle UX. Edit: I added even more stuff to the newest version.

Yes, a Pets Sketch, a Fauna Species Sketch a Flora Species Sketch, there is Literature added to the list of Art (I forgot it. lol I thought the mistake was silly, but yeah.)

And I added a Medicine Section with an icon to the technology section. There are two native icons already for Medicine--syringe and pill, but I kind of felt it didn't always give the feel of fantasy, so I made a Mortar and Pestle from scratch to add, but if you're doing sci-fi or contemporary, etc you can change to the syringe or pill.

I added explainers as well for the items to the guide.

Why?

'Cause. I would love to be able to see people put more thought into their worlds/worldbuilding, even if it doesn't show up. Maybe it won't be only horses for animals as pets. Or an occasional dog. Haha. Having a gay dog like Robin Williams would be great.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hello, Femme!

I would like your advice on a couple of things, if that's okay. This is a lot, so I apologize.

I am young and nearing my 20's, and I am only recently trying to learn how to invest in myself, my self-care/wellbeing, and my future.

I've grown up in poverty, in a male-dominant household, and my mother (the only other woman in the house) was emotionally and physically absent for most of my childhood so I was never taught proper hygiene, self-care and in general really crucial things that a woman should know. I think also because of these factors (as well as sexual assault history and being afraid of predators), I've never learned how to be in tune with my body and its needs and how to be feminine, and how to embrace it.

I've been trying to find female role models on Youtube, but the sheer amount of channels and content has me overwhelmed. In other aspects of my life aside from physical care, I have no clue what I'm doing and what I should do.

I'm making almost $900 a month thanks to my dad's SS benefits because he's retired, and I want to get the things that I need/want (physical self-care, exercise equipment, room decorations/furniture, clothing, etc.) as well as investing in the future (car, apartment, etc.). Do you have some ideas as to what I should get or recommended channels on women's health and self-care?

Lastly, what does femininity mean to you? What does it mean to be feminine or a woman? I understand that it's a very subjective question, but I would really appreciate your outlook on it. :)

I hope this explains my circumstances well and I hope I wrote my questions well enough for you to understand.

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hi love,

I'm so glad you're here <3 Proud of the headspace you've managed to acquire at such a young age.

I would say the most important self-care and women's health things you can do is to get the basics down in a way that realistic and sustainable for you. These healthy habits include:

Eating healthy meals (more than once!) per day and healthy snacks as necessary and getting any necessary vitamin supplements you need (like b12 or additional vitamin d)

Drink plenty of water

Limit/eliminate highly processed foods or drinks (calories are just a form of energy, so be more mindful of where they come from on a daily basis–– don't be afraid of them but don't neglect laws of thermodynamics lol)

Get plenty of sleep (7-9 hours every/most nights)

5-7x week/movement (walking/a simple exercise routine or sport you love)

Hygiene (skincare, shower, haircare, nailcare, laundry, house cleaning)

For health/workout-related ideas based on your question, I would recommend the following YouTubers:

Natacha Oceane

Caroline Girvan

Lilly Sabri

Pamela Reif

As for what feminity means to me, it's a tough answer to articulate, so I hope this covers it:

Unlearning patriarchial ideas to discover, validate, and act on your own needs, desires, goals, and pursuits of pleasure without shame and/or allowing it to in any way dictate how you perceive your social currency (especially in relation to the patriarchy).

Hope this helps xx

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Ateez General Energy (October)

I just wanted to check in on the members to see how they are doing. It has been a while, since I did a check in, and I am sure Atiny's are a bit interested in what is happening with them for this month. I will pull an overall energy, a card for each member and guidance card for them as well. Let's take a look.

Okay, looking at the cards and I see why I love reading this group, interesting stuff I am seeing here.

Overall energy (2 of Wands) Are they collaborating with some other overseas artist, because this card indicates this. Or they are looking to work with another artist. I see this as someone overseas, or someone outside from what they know, but they have the same vibe, hard to explain that. But this card is about creative collaboration. They are also looking to expand themselves. I heard globally, but aren't they? Maybe other countries they haven't reached or just want more of a reach.

Hongjoong (The Hierophant/Dolphin Spirit) It looks like he may be considering some things this month. Looking at this card it is like he is meditating on something. It may not be literal, but he is trying to figure some things out. Interesting, it is like he is looking at things of what is established and figure out what is true and what is not. Or seeing things from both angles. Maybe seeing that all sides are true. It is like he is being overseer of some sort. Weird message but going with it.

Seonghwa (2 of Swords/Giraffe Spirit) So, he is being a bit stubborn energy wise for this month. It may also be hard for to make a decision on something. He seems to be at an en passe. He could also be blinded to, I heard by fear. I was going to say something else, but completely forgot it lol the keyword on the Giraffe card is see the big picture, so he is not fully seeing things for what it is, he may not see all his options. He may not see things clearly. So yeah, he seems a bit stuck right now. Not sure which direction to go in.

Yunho (6 of Pentacles/Bat Spirit) I am not sure if he is giving a handout, maybe doing some charity, or he is getting a handout here. This card is about give and take and some sort of exchange happening. This situation is going to switch his perspective on things. Change his outlook on things. Maybe giving to others will help him change his view on something. He needs to restore balance. I have no clue what this means. I try not to overthink this, so going with this lol

Yeosang (Knight of Swords/Parrot Spirit) His had me laughing, because it fits him. So, the keyword on the Parrot card is watch your words and he is represented by the Knight of Swords who tend to speak without thinking, so yeah, he may have to be careful how he says things and approaches others. He may say some wild sh** who knows, but his energy is quick to speak and defend himself, so he should be careful not to say things he may not mean at the moment. He should be mindful about the words that come out of his mouth. And what that can do to others. Communicate effectively. I keep getting how he approaches others, so he may need to be mindful of that. I can see him coming at someone with a combative, defensive energy. I get it, I can be this way, and he may need to step back a bit and reflect before doing so. Also, he should be careful of gossip energy, to maybe not do that as much either. I get that too. Lots of messages here lol

San (Knight of Pentacles/Badger Spirit) This gives me two different types of energy. The knight of Pentacles is slow paced, focused on the task at hand. He seems to be focusing on his career and goals for this month. Trying to take things slow and step by step, but this Badger energy feels like he should take more risk and be bold and fearless, to allow himself to shine and have a bit more passion. He may take things a bit too seriously and he is a bit too diligent with things. I am getting just let loose and have fun. The Badger spirit is very sunflower energy for me, so he should allow passion, warmth, inspiration and fun into his life for this month. He seems to like consistency and stability, but this card is like nah, do something fun and risky, let yourself shine more.

Mingi (Page of Wands rv/Bear Spirit/Armadillo Spirit) So, the POW's card came flying out and it is in reversed, he may seem pissed that he may not be able to explore something he wanted. It is like he was limited or restricted or just blocked to try something new or adventurous. He also comes off as a very risky person, so these guidance cards may be telling him to slow down a bit. The keywords on the cards are take time out and set healthy boundaries, but the Bear card did come out reversed too. I don't normally read reversal for the oracle cards, but I feel in this situation it may make sense, maybe he wanted to vacation or go out somewhere new where he can have fun and relax, but that was denied. Now, the set healthy boundaries, he may need to say no more, or he needs to chill out and not take as many risk and cross some lines. It can go either way with him here.

Wooyoung (3 of Cups/9 of Swords/Frog Spirit) Well, this is interesting, so this boy gave me no indication he dealt with stress in his perspective reading, but as I see these cards together. One, he may just be good at hiding it, or he suppresses it, by drinking, partying or just having fun with others. It is like he escapes his thoughts and worries by being around others and having a good time, so I see him not wanting to address any thoughts he has. I can also see this as him having too much fun and regretting those decisions lol It is like I am having fun, getting drunk and now I got a headache, that is how I see it with these cards. The keyword in the frog spirit card is clear out clutter, so yeah, there are things he needs to work through and clear out this month, maybe the partying and drinking allegedly. Or maybe the thoughts that may haunt him that he suppresses. Man, don't care what anyone says, his energy is so interesting to me.

Jongho (King of Swords/White Raven Spirit) Well, this is easy to decipher. He is an Aquarius, which represents this KOS. I see him being way too stubborn and too realistic about things. Way too logical. He struggles to see the spirit of things, the unknown and the magic of the world. He is way to fact based, very hard to reason with or talk to and get a word in with him. There is a lack of faith he has in things. He comes off very strict in what he thinks, it is his way and other opinions, especially if it is more spiritual, would-be ridiculous nonsense to him. This boy's got to let loose a bit and not get too caught up in semantics. This boy is going to give himself a headache or stress with this energy. He's got to learn to be more open to things outside his mindset.

Okay, once again, interesting stuff here. Always enjoy reading on them.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 8 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Finishing up your shopping trip goes off without a hitch but Jungkook reminds you of what's going on between you two Pairing: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 4k~ Warnings: Explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy lol a/n: This took me literally forever to get out and I'm so sorry but I hope it was worth the wait. I wanted to wrap up this trip quickly and move on but I like the thought of them shopping together so I hope you guys do too! p.s. barely edited as always lol Start from the beginning

After finishing our lunch and finally finding the perfect dress for the event, Jungkook and I head off on our next adventure, bidding adieu to Genevieve once again. 

"So, what's next on the list?" I question after he starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot. "Well what's a beautiful girl in a beautiful gown without a beautiful pair of shoes and jewelry to match?" he teases and continues on our journey to wherever he has in mind. 

"I guess you're right" I say, sinking into my seat and trying my best not to melt from his compliments. 

He hands me the aux again giving me free reign of the soundtrack of our journey and I play some random choices that have been my current favorites which also happen to be some of his as well. 

"Seems like we're a lot more similar than I thought we were" I laugh after having sung along to boyfriend by Ariana Grande. "What makes you say that?" he says turning down the volume a bit. "Well we like some of the same music, we like the same foods, we both hated a majority of those dresses I tried on" I list off leaving him chuckling a bit at the last one. 

"Can you blame me? You looked like a glorified ballerina in half of those and the others just looked way too painful to wear for a few minutes let alone a few hours" he says and I respect his honesty. 

"I'm glad we found 'The One' eventually" I say in quotations, still not 100% sold on it yet. "You didn't like it?" he asks, looking genuinely concerned. "If you didn't like it we could've talked to her and seen if she could've ordered a different one" he says, quickly showing me that there's time to change things if I'm still unsure. 

"No, no the dress is fine it's just...well I haven't ever worn a gown like that before. The closest thing I could think of would be a dress I wore to a school dance but that obviously was no where near as expensive as that one" I ramble leaving him chuckling at my nervousness. 

"What's so funny?" I ask, furrowing my brow and demanding an explanation. "It's just that you look adorable" he chuckles leaving me groaning and sinking back into my chair. "Hey I'm serious you looked very beautiful in the dress and I promise you're gonna look stunning at the event as well" he assures, trying to lift my spirits and it does the trick thankfully. 

'Who am I to doubt a gorgeous man's words of praise? I just I- What? I- Okay I need to stop thinking about him like that but it's hard not to when he keeps on calling me beautiful and gorgeous and ugh I'm doomed' I scold myself, leaving me averting my vision from him to take in the beautiful view outside my window, just now realizing in how truly gorgeous it looks out here. 

"Everything okay?" he asks, noticing my clear shift in demeanor and I quickly try to clear things up without making things even more awkward. "Yeah no I'm fine. I feel like I never really looked outside my window on this drive since I was sleeping the first time we came here" I explain, hoping he'll accept that as an answer and although he looks suspicious he lets it go. 

"You know, I've been out here so many times that I've forgotten to look around as well. It's a nice drive for sure" he agrees and we sit there for a while, going down the highway and listening to the slow hum of my playlist in the background.

~~~~~

As we get closer to the city I realize that I still have no clue where we're going to get these accessories he had mentioned but I didn't think we would be going to a little couture boutique that I've never bothered setting foot inside. Simply knowing for a fact I would never be able to afford anything. 

"You sure we should start there? I mean I'm sure there are a lot more affordable places close by" I say, trying to back my way out of it but he gently guides me inside and nods his head politely in greeting to the sales women there as we walk through the doors. 

"James wants you to have the best of the best and feel confident at your first outing so he wanted us to start at the top. Just take a deep breath and don't look at the prices alright" he coaches before leaving me to wander around in search of the perfect shoes when unbeknownst to me he's already gotten one of the ladies headed to the back to grab a few pairs that might match the dress. 

"You're size eight in heels correct?" he asks, putting on an heir of sophistication since we're no longer alone. "Correct" I answer as I look at the various colors, styles and flashiness of all the items around me as I make my way further and further into the store. 

"Mr. Jeon?" the woman calls for him and he leads me over to where she's placed the various pairs that he thought might've been suitable for the occasion. 

"See any you like?" he asks, watching as I observe the array he had chosen and I pick a plain black pair to start. "These seem nice" I say as I try it on for size and notice they're a tad too tight. "You think they would match the dress well though?" he questions and when I think back to it I realize that we should probably keep looking.

~~~~~~ 

After trying on a dozen more I feel as though we'll never find the right ones until I notice a pair that's on display in the front window. "What about those ones?" I ask, pointing to them and he waves the woman down that had been helping us and she nods before going to retrieve them for me. 

"You're in luck Miss, these are the last pair we have. They are a half size small but go ahead and try them on" she says, placing the box down on the bench beside me.

When I go to take them out Jungkook places his hand on top of mine and I pause, looking over at him to question his motives. "Allow me?" he offers and I nod my head, caught off guard but letting him do as he pleases. 

He takes off the last pair I had just tried on and slips the first shoe on with ease, almost as if they had been made for me. Once he's gotten the other shoe on as well he steps back and holds out his hand, asking me to stand up and walk around in this last hopeful pair. I do as I had done time and time again this but lose my footing as I take my first step. 

"Woah there" he says, letting me fall into his chest, avoiding any further injury for the day. "Are you alright?" he asks and when I lean back to respond my breath catches in my throat, nudging my nose against his. 

"I- um yeah, yes I'm fine" I stammer after having stared at his lips for a beat too long, stepping back and again losing my footing leaving him having to grab me by my hips to steady me again. "Maybe we should take a break from the shoes for the day" he chuckles and I look down at my feet with an excuse of checking out the heels like I had before but noticing that these might actually work. 

Taking a closer look in the mirror I watch myself walk up to it and notice that for once I don't look like a baby gazelle learning how to walk for the first time while also realizing that the color and style matches somehow perfectly after having seen them up close. 

I turn to look back at Jungkook and see a satisfied smile, knowing that we've found the ones. "Those it?" he questions, still leaving the choice up to me and I smile and nod, loving the fact that our efforts were not in vain. 

He makes a nod at the sales woman, asking her to ring them up while he walks up behind me. Looking at our reflection I notice that although these heels are a tad bit higher than my usual ones he's still taller which makes them even more perfect.

"You tired?" he asks, placing a hand on my hip after taking in the sight of the both of us and guiding me back over to the bench so I can finally put my own shoes back on, leaving me thanking my past self for wearing boots instead of some sort of heel as well.

"A little" I say after having slipped my feet back into the boots, standing up and yet again losing my footing, this time only giving Jungkook the chance to grab onto my hand as I thankfully sit right back down on the bench instead of landing on the floor.

"Tried on one too many huh?" he laughs, holding my hand to now aide in steading my balance from the start making me smile awkwardly in thanks for him yet again saving me from my clumsy self. "Yeah maybe" I laugh, picking up my bag and we slowly make our way over to the counter where he pays without bothering to ask for a price.

"How much were they?" I ask, trying to look over his shoulder to see if I could catch sight of it but before I'm able to the transaction has gone through and they're holding out the bag for one of us to take and Jungkook swiftly receives it before taking ahold of my hand again and thanking the staff as we make our way to the next store. 

"Don't worry about it" he says and guides us aimlessly towards the place I could only assume is to find the jewelry to pull everything together. "What do you mean don't worry about it? I'm sure they were really expensive" I argue but that gets me no closer to getting the price than if I would've stayed silent. 

"The invoice will be sent to Matthew and will be charged to James so don't worry about it" he says, assuring me that although he paid this isn't coming out of his pocket. "Fine" I huff and follow him blindlessly before stopping in my tracks in front of the next store. 

"What's wrong?" he asks, looking back at me as we've still got our hands connected leaving him stopping as well. "Jungkook this is Cartier like Cartier the luxury jewelry brand" I say, stunned at even the thought of owning something as expensive as what I might find there. 

"I am aware. Would you prefer to go to Tiffany instead?" he asks, pointing out the Tiffany blue store just a few doors down. "No! I mean no, it's just that this is all so expensive I feel like I could get away with wearing something a lot less pricey than this" I say, trying to explain my way out of adding another dollar to what I assume is the already exorbitant total. 

"Like I said, James wants the best for you and I'm sure your mother is going to enjoy looking at the pieces you've gotten as well" he says placing a hand on my lower back and guiding me in again were we're met with an overwhelming amount of silver and gold and everything in between all enclosed in glass cases. 

"I think these would be perfect thank you" Jungkook says after we've agreed upon a set that would again match the dress but isn't too crazy flashy so it couldn't be used again.

"Are we all done?" I question, not being able to think of another thing that we could possibly need. "We just need to make one more stop" he says and I nod my head, going with the flow since against my best efforts I haven't been able to convince him to stop spending more and more money on me. 

"I thought we were done with the jewelry shopping" I say, as we walk towards the Tiffany store he had mentioned before. "James wanted to get you one last thing as some sort of a thank you for being a good sport and going through all of these lessons or something like that. Anyways he already ordered it so we just need to pick it up" he says and I nod my head, following him in.

Wandering around the store while he talks to the employee about said gift I find myself staring at one necklace in particular and being fascinated by it's simplistic yet elegant look. "Find something you like?" Jungkook whispers in my ear leaving me flinching and taking a step back bumping into him in the process. 

"Stop doing that" I groan and he laughs before leaning in and checking out the case trying to follow my line of sight. "Excuse me, can she try on this necklace?" Jungkook asks, calling the man over that he had spoken to earlier and he nods and makes his way behind to counter we're standing at.

"I was just looking" I try to deny him but he nevertheless nods when the man points to the silver necklace with the small teardrop shaped diamond pendant. He hands it to Jungkook and I look down at it in his hand and see that it looks even prettier up close. 

"You sure you don't wanna try it on?" he asks with a knowing smile and I give him a bashful one back before he nods his head towards the mirror sitting on the courter. I turn around to face it while moving my hair out of the way so he can put it on for me and I immediately fall in love with it.

 He watches my eyes light up in the reflection and nods to the salesman to ring us up for this one as well before even giving me a chance to refuse. I look at the necklace for a while longer, taking in how it looks at different angles and am shocked at how much a small little diamond like that could shine so bright and before I'm able to say a word to him about giving it back he's asking me if I'm ready to go. 

"Let me just give this back and I'll be right there" I say, reaching around my neck to take it off but he walks up and takes my hands down and shakes his head. 

"No, James already got me something from here. I couldn't possibly get another piece as well. I feel as if I'm taking advantage of his kindness" I say, feeling more and more guilty as I imagine how many zeros have been added to the total for this stupid ball. 

"You're not taking advantage of it I promise. Trust me, if anyone else in your position was given free reign to get whatever they thought they 'needed' for one event they probably would've maxed out the card before leaving the first store" he jokes and I smile at his efforts, still feeling incredibly guilty. 

"Okay" I mouth silently and he holds out his hand, leading me out of the store again.

"Jungkook" I call for his attention, curious about something. "Yes?" he answers, stopping so he can look at me properly while I speak to him. "Why have you been holding my hand so much today?" I ask him, leaving him loosening his hold but me tightening mine in response making his worried expression that was once there disappear. 

"I just thought it would be easier for you to follow me especially since it's been a bit crowded today. I didn't want to lose you" he says, looking down at our conjoined hands and smiling, seeing how I have no intention of letting go. 

"Well it's not crowded anymore" I say, looking around at the path we had once traveled. "Sorry I guess it was just a reflex of mine I did not mean to-" "It's fine. I was just teasing you" I say, squeezing his hand, switching roles and leading him to where his car is parked. 

"We're going home right?" I ask and without realizing it the simple words had made his heart flutter a bit leaving him clearing his throat before responding. "Yes, I assume your mother is waiting for you to come home for dinner so I'll go ahead and drop you off now if you'd like?" he asks, leaving it open ended as if he wanted to spend more time together. 

"Oh was there something else we had to do?" I ask, curious to see if he had something in mind. "No nothing, I just thought you might've wanted to get a coat or shall of some sort since the weather is still rather cold these days" he says, no doubt coming up with an excuse to cover up his motives. 

"Sure, I'd love that" I say, smiling up at him and notice how red the tips of his ears have gotten, making me even more happy I said yes to staying with him a while longer. 

He smiles in response and leads us to the first store he can think of that might have something I'd like and as we go through rack by rack we get to talking more casually and before we know it the stores are about to close.

"Let's get you home" he says walking us back to his car where he opens the door for me yet again before driving off.

~~~~~~  

"Thank you so much for all of your help today. I feel as though I would've been lost without you" I admit as we pull up to my house. "I am aware" he says, giving me a mischievous smile before getting out of the car to open the door for me again. 

"Hey! I was trying to be nice and then you go and act al-" "All what?" he teases, cutting me off as he helps me out of the car, leaning against it and trapping me, granting me little to no room to escape even if I tried. "All cocky" I say, lifting my chin up and being confident in my words, full well knowing I'm melting on the inside. 

"Is that so? I guess we've skipped the lesson of getting rid of that dirty little mouth of yours now haven't we?" he taunts, cocking a brow at me and it takes everything in me not to fall to my knees and suck him off right now. 

I nod my head and he tongues his cheek before glancing down at my lips and pushing off the car, giving me room to breathe only for a moment before pulling me into him, moving me out of the way so he can close the passenger door behind me. 

"Let's get you inside. It's past your bedtime Princess" he rasps in my ear before letting go of me and walking towards my house leaving me standing there speechless, leaving me standing there for a minute, trying to take in everything that just transpired. 

'Princess? Where does he get off calling me Princess and why the hell did it make me want him even more? I swear this man is trying to kill me' I think to myself before he calls after me telling me to hurry up. 

"Coming!" I say and mentally curse myself, 'Really? Out of all the things you could've said you said that?' and I can tell that Jungkook's thinking the same thing as he grants me with another cheeky smile before knocking on the front door. 

One of the maids answers the door and Jungkook asks her if there's someone who can get all the bags out of the car and she scurries off and grabs someone to do so. 

"Oh there you are! I thought you would've been back ages ago!" my mother says as she walks up to us, clearly more excited to see Jungkook than she is to see me. "She didn't give you any trouble did she?" she asks, giving me a once over before turning her attention back to him. 

"No, on the contrary she was itching to finish up sooner but I wanted to make sure we had everything she needed before bringing her home. It's been a pleasure spending time with her outside of the classroom and helping make sure she's more than ready for the ball" he says, merely glancing at my mother before looking back at me, my eyes going back and forth between the two of them, feeling shy under his gaze again. 

I swear he always does this right before he leaves because he likes to watch me squirm. What happened to the pure kind man that I had just been with today? Now suddenly replaced by the devilish tempter just daring me to make a move on him. 

After my mother has thanked him and tried to persuade him to come in for a while with him trying to refuse and I come to his aide and shoo my mother away.

"Mom I think I've taken up more than enough of his time today don't you? I'll walk you out" I say quickly, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out while he says his goodbyes to her. 

"You trying to get rid of me?" he teases, amused by my hurried solution to ending the conversation. "No I just figured there must be something better for you to do than deal with my mother and her antics" I say and he chuckles in response only stopping when I've finished dragging him all the way to the driver's side of his car. 

"Thank you for everything today, really" I say looking down at the gravel under our feet, holding my breath and waiting for that cocky response again but it never comes. "It was truly a pleasure I assure you of that" he says, hooking a finger under my chin to bring my eyes up to him. 

My eyes dart back and forth between his and he leans in again just as he did last night this time giving me an almost featherlight kiss, hardly anything more than brushing his lips against mine, making my breath hitch, frozen and spellbound by his touch. 

"Goodnight Princess" he says against my lips, still barely there but enough to feel his touch as his breath warms my lips, feeling frozen once he's pulled away and sat down in his car. 

"G-goodnight Mr. Jeon" I let out, barely able to break free from the mental hold he has on me making him chuckle at my reaction before giving me once last glance. Dragging his eyes up and down my form before pulling out of the driveway, leaving me feeling utterly naked under his heated gaze.

As I walk back up I see my mother scurrying down the hallway, no doubt trying to hide the fact that she had been spying on us but I wouldn't expect anything less from her. 

No matter how much she tries to hide it at the end of the day she's really just a busybody that loves to gossip but I've grown tired of it. Not even bothering to care if she sees. With the way Jungkook and I have been playing this push and pull for a while it'll only be a matter of time before we end up together. 

Or at least I hope we do...  

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[wavesoutbeingtossed]

TTPD Track Speculation/Prediction: @wavesoutbeingtossed Edition

Against my better judgment, I’m putting down my predictions before I am proven completely wrong on April 19.

on the other hand I did correctly attribute all of the 1989 TV vault track teaser lyrics to their songs before it was released so maybe I’m just that good jk.

I’m putting everything under a cut because it’s long and mostly just shooting the shit but it’s a long weekend so what the heck!

I started writing this the night the album was announced at the Grammys in February, so obviously things may have evolved in the meantime. It will be very interesting to see just how wrong I am!

Here be speculation, musings, jokes and more! Enter at your own risk!

SOUND:

I honestly have NO CLUE. I’ve said many, many times that I would be absolutely gagged for an Americana-folk type sound like Carolina/Safe and Sound/some of her acoustic performances on tour. I don’t really expect TTPD to sound quite that stripped back, though. (Prove me wrong, Taylor!)

I am kind of feeling pop-rock-y though, à la WCS, TTDS, based on absolutely nothing but that is also a genre/sound I love that I am begging to hear more on albums.

Completely off the wall guess: Something more jazzy-big band-y, based on nothing but her styling in recent months on the red carpet that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood vibes (especially the Grammys), the inclusion of Clara Bow (renowned flapper girl) on the track list, and the way she keeps talking about being grateful fans accept her bending and switching genres over the years and support her when she does “weird” things.

FORMAT (?)

OK this is just me spitballing, but I said awhile back that I am just getting vibes that there may be, like, a story within a story with this. As in, using some fictional settings as an allegory for the story about herself. The example I used then was The Lumineers, and how they wrote their album III about three generations of a fictional family dealing with addiction, which was an allegory for the lead singer’s own family’s experience with it (without directly calling out the family member in question at the time). There were characters in the album, but many of the songs were sung from an “I”/“you” perspective. I may not be explaining myself well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are “fictional” stories in that they’re sung about characters (e.g. Clara Bow?), but it will be obvious to fans that she’s using the characters to speak about herself and her experiences. I’m just getting big “storytelling” energy from the hints. Which means I’m totally wrong!!!! Don’t listen to me!!! (I do think there will be some shades of this somehow, though.)

TRACK LIST SPECULATION

Fortnight: Think you are all on the money about it being the time between the start of tour and when Joever happened for good. Sort of a “two years of uncertainty coming to a head in two weeks” thing. Spending two weeks agonizing over what to do. Two weeks for your whole life to blow up. Finally being removed from the situation and grasping onto your dreams that have been on hold for years and realizing your mind’s made up because you won’t give this part of you up even if it means letting go of what you thought your future held. But another thing I’ve thought of: some common wisdom claims it takes two weeks for a new routine to become a habit, so… outside chance it’s like, two weeks go by and you’re finally used to/accepted whatever it is you’re trying to kick? Also had a thought that there could be many two-week periods that can mark your life and give pause. 

The Tortured Poets Department: No idea really lol. For some reason I feel like this is going to be a little more experimental, “laying the groundwork for the defense” type of vibe, kinda like Mastermind, or using the investigative/academic metaphor to delve into it like, Mad Woman or Vigilante Shit. (Or: it could be super petty roasting the infamous group chat lol. In all seriousness though I would doubt that because I feel like this album is very much about Her… unless said group chat was so insufferable she needs to blast it on main.)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: I saw some talk on my dash about this giving renegade themes (you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but don’t you know you’re demolishing me), and I totally thought the same thing. Also those of you who pointed out the parallels to Cardigan are geniuses (when I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said I was your favorite). Again kinda think there might be some more metaphor in this but guessing it may be along the lines of “he’s only doing this because he knows I won’t leave” themes? It instantly gives dark and uneasy. It gives, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. All signs point to Not Good.

(Or this is about Benji destroying his spin toys or is that just my cat that does that.)

Down Bad: Someone said (on Jaime’s blog I think*) that this is giving False God but icky and I can TOTALLY see that. (Then again I’ve always found False God sad in the sense that it’s like, “even when we fight so bad we can’t communicate we still have the sex holding us together.”) But, Taylor does like to take sayings with common meanings and twist them on their heads, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if “Down Bad,” isn’t referring to being down as in being horny for someone, but being down as in, feeling devastated/hopeless. (Or, even worse, mean both at the same time. 😵‍💫)

(*I wrote this post in February after the announcement, I don’t have a clue when any of this was said anymore sorry)

So Long, London: like a lot of people, I feel like this is her goodbye to the life they had and more importantly/poignantly, the dreams she had of their future. (I don’t know but, “remember looking at this room we loved cause of the light, now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” just feels like it’d be part of this story.) So because I’ve said that, watch it be an excoriation of London Boy lol. (You know I’m mad at a London Boy / who just really won’t leave Camden / Market in the afternoon / he hasn’t seen my American smile / in two months cause he won’t come to see me / when I have a show to do…) Feel like it’s going to gut us. BUT, also wonder if this is her “I’m getting the fuck out of dodge ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE” anthem haha. (Or: she ran away to London to escape the Bad Stuff but then got stuck in another kind of Bad Stuff living there for so long…)

But Daddy I Love Him: Pretty obviously the Little Mermaid reference. Very curious if the actual quote is in the song, or if it’s just named that to set the scene but the song instead is an expounding on the theme of giving up her voice for the sake of the relationship like Ariel. Also wonder if this is an overtly diaristic song or if she is going to use characters/figures/fiction to expand on the theme subtly, a little like Maisie Peters’ History of Man or Florence & The Machine’s Cassandra or even more pointedly like her own Last Great American Dynasty or The Lucky One. I do assume the overarching theme is going to be the push-pull between keeping her love and giving up things that are important to her to make that love work.  (Watch this be about her arguing with her father about marrying *** lol.)

The theme of giving up your voice/what you hold dear for love is so loaded, and has some parallels to Clara Bow’s story, which is also on the track list so… Lots to chew on I’m sure.

Fresh Out The Slammer: Totally think the reference to her locking herself up for years at home because she was scared in the Time POTY interview is a likely link to this. Feeling free after the weight of this decision is off her shoulders, yet the sheer terror at now being on her own and rebuilding her future. It could be uplifting but I could also see it being like pure chaos. BUT, a thought I had earlier is that, if this is a song that was written pre-Joever, maybe it’s about the aftermath of a rough patch. Like, we just got our get out of jail free cards, we made it through the other side of this Big Thing that almost ended us (e.g. the final blow in YLM), where do we go from here?

Florida!!!: Emphasis on the “!!!”!!! Honestly it had me at FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. I’m soooooo curious and sooooooooooooo pumped for this one. I don’t want to let myself hope it’s going to sound like a Florence song BUT I HOPE IT SOUNDS LIKE A FLORENCE SONG. I’m going to guess it may be a reference to the first stop on tour after the news broke. Wasn’t that also a show where a ton of things went wrong? I can see it going so many ways! Is it a hopeful “Florida I’m coming for you you’re a symbol of my great escape my prison break my entire life crumbling and rising again”? An introspective “I never thought I’d have to rebuild my whole world after it imploded, in Florida of all places?!”? Is it a sarcastic “fucking Florida always the scene of the crime I can’t believe my life is falling apart and I need to go to FUCKASS FLORIDA oh great every thing that can go wrong with my show is FLORIDA!!!!”? Is it a rant about the corporate mouse? Or a scathing takedown of Republican politics ahead of the 2024 elections? (lol) Who’s to say?!

Guilty as Sin?: Sooooooooooo curious about this. I’m a Carolina Stan and I know there is 0% chance there is a link between the two songs other than the lyric which is a common term, but it does make me happy. My first thought about this one is that it’s going to be biting or self-reflective — kinda like the bridge of Is It Over Now? Or the chorus of Anti-Hero. As in, “what is it exactly that you think I’m guilty of?” (E.g. ambition? Drive? Seeking attention? Being selfish? But could also be sad: Loving too hard? Caring too much? Being too needy? Hmmm.) I’m kind of feeling like it’s a “if it’s wrong to be guilty of these things I don’t want to be right.” Again if I had to guess I’d wonder if it would have the same vibes as the bridge of YLM. (For some reason, with the question mark, I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be accusing someone of something…)* I also had a thought about the seven deadly sins and this title and… THOUGHTS ARE THINKING**.

(*I may not have found it accusatory in February, but with the benefit of hindsight in March I… reserve the right to change my mind about this.)

(**Future Waves here: the thoughts may have been thinking for February Waves but March Waves has no idea what she was talking about.)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: I don’t knooooooooooow. At first the title kinda gave me Blank Space vibes, like, you don’t know how much I could fuck this up if I wanted. Then some people mentioned the similarity to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And now that’s absolutely all I can think about. If you’ve ever seen the movie (or the play), it is rooooooooough. Watching George and Martha drunkenly eviscerate each other as their guests watch on in horror is… oof. (As someone who has seen this happen in real life and was trapped on a boat with a couple in full unhinged mode… OOF. Just OOF.) Of course there’s the Burton-Taylor of it all too so… (there’s also an interesting theme in Virginia Woolf about buying into illusion to avoid the messiness of reality… and Martha resenting George’s lack of ambition.) Is this song cheeky? Or a threat? Is this a Better Than Revenge/Vigilante Shit rebuke or is it Bejeweled owning her personhood?

(Like any of these songs, there’s also the chance that it’s heartbreaking and is really a reflection on how the things that make her her can be weaponized against her… Or how her struggles/vices alienate her to the person she loves a la Anti-Hero…)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): My first thought is this is going to be one of her sarcastic/satirical/funnier ones, based on nothing except that this sounds like it could be an Olivia Rodrigo cheeky song lol. (Like, I immediately start singing this to the tune of “Get Him Back.”) Never beat those allegations, Taylor, we’ve all been there. It definitely feels like a stereotypical tale of “girl tries to fix a man who doesn’t want to change and refuses to give up.” Watch this actually be a sad ballad about the flip side of renegade and trying to help a partner through a crisis 😬 

loml: the quiet menace in this list!!!! Obviously we’re all immediately thinking “love of my life,” but because this is Taylor, we should not rest easy. The fact that it’s all in small caps is curious to me and calls back to text speak, so is this a term of endearment that turns into a final parting sign off? Is it from an email ahem? Is it a sweet song about the good parts of being together? A wistful song about a lost love? BUT THEN, because it’s Taylor, I can totally see this being a bait and switch and it standing for something else as some of you pointed out, like loss of my life, or love OR my life. Or something entirely different. I’m pretty convinced that this one is going to be devastating in some fashion. I just feel it in my bones.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Like many of you, I’m fairly certain this is going to be a bittersweet Long Live-esque ode to the Eras tour. The pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get out of bed, the show must go on and the show is saving my life story. Just thinking of the quote from the Time POTY interview where she said, “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed.” And in those early weeks, it seems like she might have been all of those things at once. Just trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed when all you want the earth’s core to swallow you whole and never come back. Kind of like, I can pick up the pieces of my life and carry on even when I am dying inside. 

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Obviously this is about one Benjamin Button, please. OK, in all seriousness, it’s giving, well… *shots fired*. It’s giving “your integrity makes me seem small.” It’s giving “I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out.” It’s giving “all you are is mean.” So, part of me thinks it’s going to be turned on its head a little bit, just because… it seems to point to something directly and sometimes Taylor enjoys a bit of misdirection. So is this about someone who takes shots at someone else and in so doing, displays their own insecurity? Another thought I had is: Is this about someone who retreats into their own world so much that they’ve shut out everything and everyone else? Their whole world gets shrunken down to the four walls around them? I have a strong feeling this is an allegory-type song, using a fictionalized and possibly fantastical story to tell the real life one, but obviously I could be wrong.

The Alchemy: gonna be real with you all: I didn’t know that alchemy was the practice of turning base metals into something that looks like gold. I think I was mixing it up with apothecary or something, lol. I thought it was the practice of making potions and whatnot. #TheMoreYouKnow ANYWAY, I think the idea of “turning nothing into something that shines” is going to be important. Is it about using her best colours for a portrait to hide the cracks underneath? Is it about trying your best to make something work and thrive but ultimately coming up empty because the foundation is gone? Is it about turning these base experiences into art that fuels her? There are so many possibilities! (@taylortruther’s post about The Alchemy and other comments got me thinking too about the magician/illusionist scenario in So It Goes and now my brain is on fire.)

Clara Bow: Soooooooooo intrigued by this one too. People have pointed out so many of the interesting coincidences and parallels in their lives. Clara Bow was a silent film star who found her voice in the talkies — that right there is one metaphor about finding your voice in your art and your life. But it’s also an interesting parallel that she managed to parlay her success in silent film into talkies, at a time where few actors enjoyed a successful transition, which mirrors Taylor’s transition from country to pop. There’s the way Clara’s private life was splashed all over the press, driven by salacious rumours about her sex life and her perceived revolving door of lovers, which seems like something Taylor would empathize with. There’s the way she had a breakdown and left Hollywood, which may have some shades of 2016. Or that she got married and started a family, but insisted on keeping it a secret for many years to maintain privacy, which is interesting because in this case it seems like *Clara* was the one driving the need for secrecy, not her husband. (At least I read that in one article somewhere, sorry if that’s wrong!) Ultimately though, she died relatively young and was forgotten by mainstream Hollywood, a relic of a past uninteresting to all but the most diehard of film buffs. I’m getting vibes of “The Lucky One,”  (and “Nothing New”) both in themes and in storytelling. So, watch it be completely different and not a story about Clara Bow but instead just have it be an off-hand line lol.

BONUS TRACKS

The Manuscript: I’m veeeeeery intrigued by this one. (I know I say that about all of them. That’s because they all intrigue me.) I love the idea that this wraps up the “standard” album; the chair(wo)man of the Tortured Poets Department has submitted her thesis for review, and it’s up to the board to draw their conclusion. OR: the idea that this is the unfiltered submission to a publisher, before the editor’s review that will cut and tighten and ultimately make it better, but loses the author’s initial vision in the process. (Like self-editing to share the most palatable story to your reader. Which… Also gives Dear Reader/Midnights in general vibes.) OR EVEN: this is the author’s story, submitted to the audience for their review, leaving it up to them to draw their conclusions and annotate. There are sooooooo many ways I can see this going. 

The Bolter: A curious one indeed! I feel like of all of the bonus tracks at least, this is the one I have the least idea about. My immediate guess is that it refers to a person who runs, which would have all kinds of implications. Running from the law (unlikely lol), running from commitment, running from conflict… running for your life. Like running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (single girl version) to running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (bitter wife* version). (*NOT saying there was a secret wedding lol. I mean as in, that’s the future that was in store if one stayed.) I saw other takes saying bolter is also slang for jailer, which is also interesting with the Ready For It of it all. 

The Albatross: So much has been said about this one, so I don’t think I have much to ado about this one! The famous poem is rife with all kinds of allusions: the bird soaring on its own for up to six years, but being brought down by man’s cruelty. The bird looking majestic in the skies, but the burden of its wings dragging it down on land, slowly killing it. The story being a metaphor for how the very thing poets are exalted for in society are the things they are punished for personally. I think it’s safe to say this one is going to hurt regardless, whether it’s a reference to herself, to ***, or something else entirely.

The Black Dog: Also another one I’m not sure I have many thoughts on yet. The black dog being a metaphor for depression is likely the inspiration, and I’m assuming this has the potential to be one of the most vulnerable songs yet. I have a feeling most of this album will be, but the imagery of this — the black dog being a constant companion, wanted or not, casting a pall over its master’s every move — points in a pretty obvious direction. And one that is probably going to gut us.

Well there you have it folks! I am ready to be completely wrong!

[trashisstillhere]

Guess whose parents I have just designed? (And didn’t feel like cleaning up, do better line art and colouring along with shading for yet?)

Yeah that’s right, it’s New Ninja’s!!! Meet their big workaholics yet loving mother and father!!

I still am trynna work on some stuff, I’m even planning on redesign Randy’s parents in my headcanon as we speak, also gonna do my own version of First Ninja’s family too, like I think of them alot in my head but barely drawn anything out so I wanna do that too really much hehe- yeah I got a lot to do.

Aaanywaysss. Let me tell y’all a bit about these two!

-NN’s parents are often really busy at their jobs so they can barely get to hang out with their child because of it, the only times they kinda get to interact more often are in the weekends but other then that, NN is often left home alone.

-just like everyone else, they don’t know that NN’s the ninja. And they don’t know about their relationship with Randy as their mentor and good friend either.

-just like their kid, they don’t have any names neither yet lol. Coming up with names one of the hardest parts of making ocs. For now, let’s just call them NM (new mom) and ND (new dad). Yeah I know it’s a little bit weird but until I finally can think of something for them, these will have to do.

-NM is a Japanese woman with sectoral heterochromia who works as a therapist! If you’re wondering what kind of therapy she does, it’s mostly behavioural. She’s almost very soft spoken, genuine and really wants to do her best to help people with their issues, including her own kid. However, she barely knows much about the shit her poor child goes through right now with their current life, she doesn’t know about NN being the ninja after all.

Most of the time, the people she work with in therapy sessions are usually normal but there are times that she has met some who seemed to struggle after being STANKED. Yes you heard right, some of her patients are stanked victims! A few past ones during Randy’s time as the ninja and now a lot more in the current time with NN now being the current one, those kinds of patients are kinda a whole other story.

-ND is an American man who works as a doctor! He is pretty skilled in a lot of things at his job, surgery is one of them. He’s more calm, serious and strict. His voice is kinda like monotone and very deep, a lot of people who sees him at first glance and hear his voice might think he’s quite cold but that’s far from the truth. He’s just a man who takes his job seriously, he also has a soft spot, mostly for his wife and child.

Like NM, he also has no clue about the struggles NN has right now. However, he did have his suspicions. He couldn’t talk much about it due to being so busy in job tho but whenever he has time, he’ll always make sure to tell the kid that if they ever need someone to talk to, they can talk to him.

-now back in their high school days together before NN was even born, they didn’t really know that much people other then themselves. They were high school sweethearts.. however, ND did actually know one guy the whole year. They weren’t like bffs but they did know each other very well so they were close and even now as adults in the present, they still interact sometimes, maybe even get some tea or coffee if they have time and aren’t busy. They went to different universities back then but that did nothing to their pretty nice bond.

You’re probably wondering who this ‘guy’ is and if he’s even important or just a random oc I made up…well he’s actually a canon character from Rc9gn. Yes, he is actually in the show. So who is it??…

……Willem Viceroy III.

HeheheheheHEHEHEHE- no I am not explaining this, ya gotta figure out yourself! What I will say tho is that yes, this will have an effect in NN’s story. 😏

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And that’s about it!