#i have never seen anyone mention him ever its so sad

[literallycogsworth]

Pretty much accurate ‼️ (especially fife I love him sm)

This was hard, but I hope its accurate

[thebearer]

in your eyes, the man that i could be |carmen berzatto x reader| part two

prompt: after carmen finds out you're staying at pete and sugar's house, he goes to try and talk to you. he's faced with his furious sister and harsh truths instead.

or part two of the devastation fic lol that is based off this ask from the other day <3

contains: angst! angst! this one is very much so more carmen focused bc let's be real... he's the problem in this one lol. still hurt with no comfort but more this one than last one?? mentions to past trauma, family trauma. sugar clears carmen in this one. slight mean carmen still, slight angry carmen still. language. dad!carmen x mom!reader. no resolution but the make up is in the next and final part! still heavy so read at your own discretion! word count- 4.8k+

Fak twisted his hands, nervously watching Carmen pace back and forth furiously. One hand running through his hair, tangled and matted from the continued motion; the other lifting and pulling the cigarette to and from his lips. Fak wasn’t sure how Carmen wasn’t sick yet. He’d never seen him smoke so much, seen anyone smoke so much. 

“Neil, I’m not fuckin’ playin’ anymore, ok? You’re startin’ to really, really fuckin’ piss me off.” Carmen’s jaw ground tight, voice starting to growl with that gravelly warning shake that had Fak flinching. “You better tell me where you put my fuckin’ car keys, alright? I-I’m not sitting here, ok? I’m not gonna sit around wi-with my fuckin’ thumb up my ass like a jagoff while my wife and kid are a-at fuckin’ Sugar and Pete’s!” 

“Carmy,” Fak tried to keep his voice calm and firm, like Sugar and Richie had coached him to, hyping him up before he entered the house. “I can’t give you your keys right now, becaus-” 

“-Oh, fuck you! Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?” Carmen roared, teeth bared and eyes narrowed. 

Fak didn’t think he’d ever say it, but he missed the sad Carmen from before. When he’d been sent to check on Carmen and Richie, to find out where the hell they were before Sydney had a meltdown in the kitchen, only to find a nearly hyperventilating Carmen and an unsure and frantic Richie trying to calm him. Fak had known Carmen a long time, his whole life, really, and never once had he seen him so… so sad. 

That sadness was long gone now. In its wake, an anger, worse than before, than he’d ever seen or could have imagined. Fak had just tried to comfort Carmen, offer up some encouragement that you and Teddy and Anchovy were all ok, taken care of- at Pete and Sugar’s. He didn’t realize how that would flip the switch, how it would infuriate Carmen. 

“I-I’m Fak.” Fak blinked, nervously. “You know me. I’m your friend, Carm, and I-I’m just trying to help you-” 

“-You’re trying to help me? You’re trying to fuckin’ help me by keepin’ me away from my wife?” Carmen’s voice boomed, shaking the walls of the house. 

Even in his loud rage, the house seemed too quiet, too still. There was no baby TV show on, no hum of the diffusers, or Anchovy’s small purrs and chirps. Carmen missed him, missed him jumping on the counters just to piss him off. He missed you defending him, missed how Anchovy would startle and run anytime Teddy would gurgle or whine. 

God, he missed Teddy. He spent the first night in the nursery, sitting in the rocking chair, staring blankly ahead, wishing he had the small screaming bundle to rock to sleep. 

Carmen couldn’t bring himself to go into the bedroom. Not again. Not after he found your ring laying there. He’d scared Richie so badly with his cries that Richie had enforced the ‘Mikey Prevention Plan’, his twisted humor of a way at keeping Carmen from being alone, from hurting himself in his misery. 

“Carm, I-I can’t.” Fak stuttered, looking at the door, begging Richie or anyone, really, to walk through the door. “You know I can’t.” 

“This is fucked up, Neil. You know that? You know how fucked up this is? Keepin’ me from-from Teddy? From my kid?” Carmen took a long drag of the cigarette, smoke blowing out of his nose with his panicked breathing. His hands still shook, everything was still shaky and rattling with uneasiness inside him. 

“Carm, I- Don’t say that.” Fak shook his head, he could feel himself caving. Carmen could too. 

“You’re keepin’ me from her, Fak. You know that? You know you-you’re keepin’ me from my daughter? My baby? Don’t you-you know how fucked up that is?” Carmen shook his head, lips pursing in disgust. “You’re lettin’ Richie boss you around like he always does, an-and you know, you know deep down that this is wrong. Keepin’ me from them is wrong.” 

Fak hesitated, a nervous sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. “Richie said-” 

“-Richie can get fucked. Ric-Richie doesn’t know shit! He doesn’t know shit, you know he doesn’t know shit, a-and you’re lettin’ him tell you what to do? Richie?” Carmen scoffed, throwing his hands out. “The fuck does Richie know, huh? H-He’s divorced, an-an-and barely sees his kid-” 

“-Hey!-” Fak’s eyes widened in shock. “Carmen, you don’t-” 

“-Is that what you want? You want me to end up alone?” Carmen’s eyes are wild, crazed, but he goes still. “Y-You want me to end up like-like Richie? Li-Li-Like that?” 

Fak swallows, both standing in the thick, tension filled silence. “Carmen, I-I can’t.” Fak shook his head slowly. “I don’t… I think you need to, I don’t know, I think you need to calm down before you go see them.” 

“Calm down, you’re tellin’ me to calm down.” Carmen snarled, bitterly scoffing at Fak. “Fuck you. Alright? Fuck you. I will never forgive you for this shit. You hear me? You-You doin’ this to me, keepin’ me from my family. I’ll never fuckin’ forgive you.” 

Fak flinched, Carmen’s words cutting brutally through him with a bitter sting. Carmen stormed off, the front door slamming with a force that sent vibrations through the house. Fak was surprised it didn’t split the wood in two. Walking towards the front window, he saw Carmen storming off, furiously lighting another cigarette, running a hand through his hair, again. Fak assumed he was out of Spirits, that he’d smoked through another pack, walking to the corner store to get more. After thirty minutes, he called Richie, frantic that he’d let Carmen loose. 

“What part of Mikey Prevention Plan don’t you fuckin’ understand?” Richie sneered over the phone, trying to keep his voice low so the new hires didn’t hear. As far as they were concerned, Carmen was on a vacation, only the OGs knew the truth. 

“I-I didn’t mean to! I swear!” Fak’s voice lilted high, a shrill of nerves that had Richie’s eyes pinching in annoyance. “I thought he was going to the corner store to get more cigarettes, an-and then he didn’t come back for a while-” 

“-What’s a while?” Richie muttered, catching Tina’s eye through the glass. She set her rag down quickly, walking towards him. 

“I dunno… Fifteen, thirty minutes?” Fak mumbled. “Maybe closer to an hour now. B-But then I went to look for him, and he wasn’t there, so I asked the guy working and he said he hadn’t seen him, and-and now I’m driving around trying to find him. I-I’m shouting his name out the window and everything!” 

“He’s not a dog, Neil, he won’t-” Richie huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know where he’s at.” 

“You do?” Fak perked up. 

“Yeah, I mean, no, but I-I’m pretty sure I know where he’s at since you fuckin’ told him where they were stayin’.” Richie rolled his eyes bitterly. “Just- Come over here and get me, alright? Let me call Pete- God, you and this fuckin’ kid, got me callin’ Pete. You’re killin’ me Neil Jeff.” 

Richie hung up the phone with a huff, looking up at Tina. “What’s goin’ on? Jeff alright? What’s he doin’?” She pressed. 

“Yeah, Fak-Fak fuckin’ lost him.” Richie rubbed his forehead in exasperation. “But, I think I know where he’s at. Have a pretty good idea, anyways.” 

Tina eyed Richie carefully. “Richie, you know I love that kid, you know I do. But if he’s fuckin’ with Mama,” Tina shook her head, lips pursing in fury. It was no secret how taken she was to you, even before the affectionate nickname that came with the pregnancy. 

“He’s not,” Richie shook his head. “He’s stupid, hot headed, a fuckin’ baby- all that. But… C’mon, T, you and I both know he loves her. He wouldn’t do anything to them. Do somethin’ to himself before that.” 

Tina paused but nodded, face softening. “So, you know where he’s at then? You don’t… You don’t think he’s gonna…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it, looking at the picture of Mikey with Richie, Tina, Ebra, and Marcus only a few months before he passed. Carmen had placed it at the front, a reminder of the legacy that was there before him, of The Beef and his brother. 

“No, I hope not.” Richie muttered, looking at his phone’s screen with dread, Pete’s contact on the screen gleaming back at him nearly mockingly. “I think I know where he is.” He sighed, pressing the button. 

Pete could feel his phone buzzing in his pants, ignoring it as he held the front door in a white knuckled grip. He hadn’t expected to see Carmen there, on his Ring camera, knocking on the door softly, softer than he expected given his manic looking state. 

“H-Hey, Carm,” Pete closed the door as casually as he could, only leaving a sliver open. “What, uh, what’s up, man?” 

“Hey, Pete,” Carmen could barely meet his gaze, suddenly overly aware of how disheveled he must have looked. 

“Uh, what-what brings you by?” Pete stuttered, heart picking up when he heard the soft thump behind him, Anchovy lurking behind his legs curiously. He gripped the door, shuffling his legs together, trying to close it on his frame so Anchovy wouldn’t slip by. 

“C’mon,” Carmen sighed, a tired look in his eye, too exhausted to even be pleading. “You know why I’m here, alright. I-I know they’re here.” 

“W-Who is? Sugar? Yeah, she-she’s off today.” Pete stiffened at the claim, swallowing nervously, trying to play it cool. Anchovy meowed loudly behind him, cringing when he was  given away by the cat. 

“Pete, don’t-” Carmen pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing in slowly, trying to calm the tears that threatened to fall. He could hear Anchovy, hear the sounds of the house- the home. Soft child shows, the hum of the dryer, all the things that made the house feel alive. Carmen would give anything to have his home sound like that again, the silence was beginning to drive him crazy. 

“Where is she?” Carmen looks up, his gaze much harder than before, a frantic look beginning to take over his sadness. 

“I, uh, I-I don’t-” Pete stutters, fingers tapping on the wood of the door anxiously. 

“-Pete, I really don’t want you to fuck with me right now, alright?” Carmen takes a deep breath, trying to swallow back his emotions that were already beginning to climb in his throat again. “I need to- I-I need to see her, Pete.” Carmen couldn’t bring himself to say your name, sure even the first syllable would have him in tears, breaking down on the front porch. 

Another meow, louder than before, came before Pete could answer. The soft scratching of Anchovy’s paws on the door, a demanding meow that Carmen knew all too well. He’d learned to drown it out, or try to. It became nearly a soundtrack to your sex life when you’d first gotten the cat, locking him out of the room so you two could fuck, only for him to yowl and scratch and demand to be let in. Carmen could remember how you’d giggle, pouting at him exaggeratedly to let him in. His heart fell with an ache that was warm yet still made him feel sick. 

Pete looked down at the cat, then back at Carmen, a hesitant grimace on his face. “Carm… You-You know I would,” He started. Carmen’s heart soared with hope, eyes wide, a near adrenaline rush of excitement shooting through his system. “But…You know I can’t.” 

Carmen’s heart crashed, shattered with the hope he’d finally begun to find, to feel again. “What the fuc- Pete, that’s… Pete, c’mon. C’mon. Yo-You gotta let me in. Let me in.” Anger surged through Carmen’s chest. He closed his eyes tight and tried to swallow it down. All he’d been is angry. For weeks now, it had been a never ending cycle of anger and sickness and distraught, all amplified to new heights the second you left. 

Carmen could feel himself spiraling, ears starting to ring again, rushing and roaring flashbacks flooding into his mind. Your face when you left, Teddy’s cries, the critic’s pursed lips, Sydney’s disappointed face when he forgot something again, Tina’s eyes cutting. Carmen turned, shaking his hand lightly, trying to do a breathing exercise he saw on YouTube, years ago when he’d moved to New York. 

His breaths were deep, shaky, but deep enough that it cleared his head, dulled the ringing. His mind wandered back, Richie’s voice ringing in his head. “You wanna get her back? Quit actin’ like a goddam baby. Quit actin’ like this isn’t your own fuckin’ fault. Like you didn’t do this shit to yourself, Cousin. Take some fuckin’ accountability, grow the fuck up, and get your motherfuckin’ shit together, alright? And maybe-maybe you’ll get your family back.” Richie’s voice rang clear through his mind from a few nights ago, when Carmen was especially mean and awful. 

“Hey, uh, you alright?” Pete hesitated, leaning towards Carmen, his grip on the door loosening. 

Carmen took a deep breath, running a hand over his face before he turned back towards Pete, eyes shining with tears that threatened to fall. “Pete, please? Please?” Carmen begged, voice soft, cracking at the end. “Please, jus-just let me see her? L-Let me talk to her? Just- Let me tell her tha-that I’m sorry. Please… I need to tell her I-I’m sorry. Don’t-” 

“-Carmen?” Sugar gaped, her voice coming from behind Pete. She pulled the door open, shocked gaze dropping into furious, jaw setting in a near snarl. “What the fuck are you doing here?” She hissed. 

“Why do you think I’m here, Natalie? Huh?” Carmen snapped in anger, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

“Oh, you’ve got a lot of fucking nerve showing up here.” Natalie snapped back, pulling the door open and stepping out on the porch. She stood in front of her younger brother, arms crossed in a standoff. 

“Pete, go inside.” Sugar sneered, her gaze not moving from Carmen’s. She felt like they were children again, having a staring contest to see who got the last piece of gum from Donna’s purse, only this time, it was for worse. 

“Nat, I-” 

“-I got it.” Natalie said firmly. Pete didn’t argue with her, simply nodding, shutting the door softly behind them. Her eyes held Carmen’s gaze, both of them intense, furious at the other for other reasons. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself-” 

“-I am-” 

“-Mortified.” Sugar sneered, giving him a disgusted shake of her head. Carmen shifted, biting his own tongue to keep it from lashing out at her. “Do you know what I came home to the other night? You want me to tell you?-” 

“-No, I know-” 

“-No, I’m going to tell you.” Natalie snapped. “I came home after a very long shift because our head chef decided to, oh, I don’t know- disappear and go on a psychotic rampage apparently.” Natalie scoffed sarcastically. 

“And I walk through the door, ready for bed. Maybe a glass of wine, maybe a bath, maybe to finally catch up on my shows with my husband; and you know what I found instead?” Sugar took a step towards Carmen, intimidating him with her harsh glare. “I find my husband taking care of your baby because your wife is sobbing-” 

“-Don’t-” 

“-No, no. I mean, sobbing. A total broken mess on my kitchen table, because she said you,” Sugar jabbed a finger at Carmen. “Decided to come home and scream at her. Not only scream, but say some of the most volatile, disgusting things I’ve ever fucking heard in my life to your wife, the mother of your very much so still a newborn baby.” 

Carmen felt the familiar wave of nausea wash over him, swallowing back spit that pooled in his mouth with a cry that threatened to fall from his chest. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, to look at her gaze anymore. It felt too judgemental, left him feeling too vulnerable and sick of himself under it. 

“So let me ask first; What the fuck is the matter with you?” Natalie sneered. 

“I don’t know.” Carmen’s voice was tight, jaw tighter, fighting a tremble that was threatening to break. “I-I don’t… I don’t fuckin’ know. I-I didn’t- I didn’t mean it-” A single tear fell, slipping out of the corner of his eyes, sliding down his cheek- the final crack in his demeanor. 

Carmen tried to fight it, deep breaths that burned his lungs and nose to control the tears, keep him from breaking here on his sister’s porch, but they wouldn’t stop. Carmen wasn’t sure how he had any tears left, after crying for days on end, how he hadn’t shriveled up his tear ducts. Yet here he was, broken sobs slipping out again. 

Sugar didn’t move. Arms still crossed over her chest, lips still fixed in a hard line, watching Carmen with intensity as he broke down, tears flowing in front of her. She didn’t comfort him, not that he expected her to. She didn’t try to give him words of encouragement, advice on how to right the wrongs like the others did. Instead, she kept a furious gaze on him, unmoved by the tears. 

“Please,” Carmen sniffed hard, running the back of his hand over his nose. “Please, Sugar, please. Ju-Just let me see Teddy. Let me se-ee her. Don’t-Don’t do this to me. Don’t ke-ep my kid away from me-” 

“-Me?” Sugar scoffed, pushing her hand into her chest. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don’t you even start that shit, Carm. I’m not keeping your kid away from you, let’s make that clear.” 

Carmen’s breath hitched when she stepped towards him, toe to toe with him, teeth bared in a grit of anger. “I didn’t take your kid away. You know who did? Hm? You.” Natalie snapped, Carmen flinched at the cruelty of her words. “You did this, Carmen. You did every last bit of this. This is on you. No one else but you.” 

Carmen held in a cry that threatened to break out, face crumbling with tears. He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to soothe the burn and hide his distraught. “And you know something else? I know you don’t remember dad very well, but I do, ok? And lately, you’ve been acting just like him.” Sugar’s tone clipped, leaving a burning sting in Carmen’s chest at her words. 

“Yelling just because shit didn’t go your way? Do you know part of the reason mom’s so fucked up? Why everyone takes her side all the time and babies her? Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Lee? It’s because dad used to berate her, scream at her so badly- say some of the worst shit in the world because he was stressed out, that those guys would feel bad for her.” Sugar ranted. “And I promise you- promise you if I told Uncle Jimmy right now what you said, how I found your wife, he’d agree with me. Maybe even worse.” 

Carmen shifted, his heart squeezing in fear now. Jimmy loved you, always had. He held a special soft spot in his heart for you. Worse was probably right, and truthfully, Carmen would accept it- he deserved it. It wouldn’t be as bad as how he felt right now. 

Natalie held Carmen’s gaze, letting her words sink in. She lifted his hand when he started to talk. “I don’t-I really don’t want to hear it, ok?” Natalie shook her head. “And before you start trying to come up with some excuse-” 

“-I-I’m not-” 

“- I want you to know something. To hear it and really listen to it.” Natalie paused, waiting until his eyes met hers to continue. “I know you’ve been through a lot- We’ve been through a lot. But that doesn’t mean you get to just treat people like shit. That you can act like this and it’s ok.” 

“I know that.” Carmen’s jaw was tight, strangled words croaking out. 

“Then act like it.” Natalie snapped. “It’s not easy, none of this is easy, Carm. I mean… Do you know that every day- every single day, I wake up and something happens that’s shitty or rough, and I think about how easy it would be just to grab a bottle of wine or two. Drink myself unconscious like mom does. Just how easy that would be, how nice it would be just to drown myself out instead of face the issues.” 

“There’s days when MJ or Maggie or-or Pete just drive me fuckin’ nuts, and I want to pull my hair out, or scream, or Pete will do something that just pushes me right over the edge and I just want to rage.” Natalie continued, arms waving dramatically. “I want to throw in the towel, take the easy way out, rage, drink myself silly, scream at all of them until I feel better, but you know what? You know what I don’t do? I don’t do that.” 

Natalie crossed her arms, taking a breath to steady herself. “I don’t do that to them because I know how that feels.” Her voice cracked, just barely, enough to show the emotion that was hiding underneath. “I know how that felt. I know how that made me feel.” 

Carmen could feel his eyes brimming with tears again, too emotional to be embarrassed. Donna’s many red faced, slurred screaming tyrades came back to his mind. How he’d hide, try and stay quiet and invisible to avoid them. Even as he got older. 

“I know how that fucked me up. How it fucked them up. How it fucked you up, an-and Mikey up. I mean- how it…it fucked our whole life up!” Sugar laughed humorlessly, throwing her hands up in mock defeat. “I just… When I think about that, and about how it just ruined all of us. That’s the last thing, the very last thing, I’d ever want to do to my kids, to Pete, t-to anyone, really.” 

Carmen nodded, too overwhelmed with emotions to speak. His throat burned, scratchy and sore from screaming and crying. His chest was tight, constricting his lungs, stealing his breath. He was on the verge of an anxiety attack, maybe something worse, yet, he felt eerily calm in the moment. Still even under the shame and hurt her words brought. He sat on the porch, sure his knees would give out soon, head spinning and dizzy with this damning realization. 

 “You need to make up your mind. Make a decision, right here, right now.” Sugar continued behind him. Though he couldn’t see her, he knew her face was stoic to hide the hurt, hide the emotions. A classic Berzatto deflection trait. “You need to decide what you’re going to do to be better for your family. If you’re going to continue to be a selfish, piece of shit, or if you’re going to change; be better.” 

Carmen’s shoulders shuddered with his next breath, deep but not intentional; like he didn’t even know he did it. Too dazed and deep in thought, staring blankly ahead. “I can tell you,” Sugar stepped towards the door. “It’s not comfortable. It’s not easy. It is so hard some days. You have to fight for it every day, fight to break shit that was drilled into you, fight to recognize that some things you do, you don’t even mean to. It takes a lot of work, but… I’d rather fight every single day to be better, to be kinder and softer and more understanding for my family, than to not have them at all.” 

Carmen couldn’t stop thinking of you. How you were so naturally nurturing and sweet. You’d always been like that. You were loving and gentle freely. You’d always been so patient with him. It almost made him feel insecure, inferior, when he thought of it before, but now, he just wanted to return the favor. 

“You decide what you want to do, and then maybe- maybe you’ll get to see them again.” Sugar turned the door knob, pushing it open. “But today? Not a chance. Go get yourself together before you try and do this again.” Carmen flinched at the door slamming behind her, harder than he thought it would. Still, he didn’t move from his spot on the porch, head in his hands, deep in thought about his future, his past, everything. 

“There he is!” Fak’s voice was muffled through the car window, slowly pulling to a stop in Sugar and Pete’s driveway. 

Carmen looked up slowly, taking a slow, grounding exhale in, just as Richie and Fak climbed out of the car. “Cousin, thank fuckin’- You better be glad he’s here.” Richie glared at Fak. 

“I am!” Fak chirped defensively. 

Carmen stood slowly, turning one last time to look at the front door. He couldn’t see through the small privacy glass on the door, but he swore he could hear you- hear your voice. Soft and hushed, a little cautious mixing with Sugar’s reassuring one. It took everything in him not to turn and bust the door down, run inside and throw himself at your feet, begging for forgiveness. 

He knew that time would come. 

Instead, he walked to the car, sliding in the backseat, ignoring the confused looks Richie and Fak gave each other. “So, uh, did you-” 

“-Don’t ask that.” Richie cut off Fak with a bark of annoyance. “What’s the matter with you?” 

“Nothing! I just- I thought we all wanted to know-” 

“-Hey, Cousin,” Carmen muttered, staring blankly at the house. Richie hummed, turning to Carmen carefully. “What’s, uh… You-You said you had someone for me to talk to?” 

“Yeah,” Richie nodded slowly. “The therapist?” 

Carmen paused, swallowing slowly. “You…You think she’d see me now?” 

“Right now?” Richie lifted a brow. Carmen nodded slowly, still looking past him, eyes glued on the house. He swore he could see a figure move- your figure, peeking through the blinds before ducking back into the shadows. “Yeah, I’m sure she will. I can… I can call her. See what I can do.” 

“Thanks.” Carmen twisted his wedding band gently, the car jolting gently as Fak started to back out. 

Fak turned around, looking from the back window to Carmen with a hesitant grimace. “You ok?” He asked, his voice dropped to a low hush with Richie on the phone beside him. 

“No,” Carmen admitted, shoulders slumping in defeat. “No, I-I’m not, but… I wanna be.” Carmen looked at Fak, eyes glassy with emotion. “I gotta get my shit together. Gotta do better f-for my family.” 

Fak nodded slowly, pulling out onto the road, slowly shifting the gears back into place. The car began to roll, Carmen watching Sugar and Pete’s house disappear in the rearview. His heart tore, ripped right down the middle and split at the seams knowing he was leaving you, Teddy- his family behind. It took everything, every ounce of strength not to turn around, not to run back. It hurt, but he realized, this is what Sugar was talking about. 

So, Carmen went to the other side of town, to the small building where Richie’s therapist was. His counselor he’d started seeing a while back, when he was on his purpose journey. 

It was weird, weirder than Al-Anon. Carmen felt entirely too vulnerable sitting in that chair, having her stare at him and only him, nodding as he told his ‘story’- it felt weird to call it that. He didn’t want it to be his story, his defining qualities. No, Carmen wanted a new story, a better one with you and Teddy and his family. He’d told Dr. Mullins that. 

“I think that’s a great start, Carmen.” She nodded, giving him a soft smile. “So, tell me how you’d do that.” 

Carmen scoffed lightly, looking down at his hands. “I, uh, I don’t really know.” He admitted. “Kinda thought that’s what you were for.” 

“You’re right. I’m here to help you reach that goal, maintain it.” She nodded. “But in order to do that, I need to know a little more.” 

“Like what?” Carmen muttered. “I don’t really remember my dad and all the bad shi-stuff he’d do.” 

“You said you didn’t want that to define you, so let’s not talk about that.” She shook her head softly. “Let’s focus on what you want. What kind of life you’d want to live with your family.” 

Carmen’s knee bounced, taking a shaky breath. “I… I don’t want to lose control.” He admitted. “I don’t want t-to scream, and say shit I don’t mean, and-and to take it out on people who don’t deserve it.” He looked up at her. “I don’t want to do that again.” 

“Good.” Dr. Mullins nodded slowly. “Let’s start there.” 

[rafeandonlyrafe]

comparisons

words: 1.5k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, female receiving oral, insecurities, semi public sex, partying, drinking but not by reader, good girl!reader

“are you seriously looking at her profile again?” your sister questions, snatching your laptop from you.

“give it back!” you squeal, standing up and attempting to grab it, but she has the height advantage on you.

“seriously, this is getting out of hand.” she sets the laptop back down on your desk, navigating to the block button. “and don't unblock her. it's unhealthy for you to care so much about your boyfriend's ex.”

“she's just so pretty.” you groan. “like how can he go from her to me?”

“you're gorgeous, y/n!” you sister sighs. “you love him. i know you do. just enjoy being together and don't let your insecurities ruin what you have.”

--

you don't mention it to rafe, no matter how anxious you feel. 

“what is it?” rafe questions, hand rubbing over your cheek. “you look sad.”

“no, no.” you shake your head aggressively, forcing a smile onto your face. “im fine, promise. just lost in thought.”

in truth, you saw rafes ex at the party. it's why you retreated to the patio with rafe, glad to have some distance. 

“hm…” rafe mumbles, looking over you. “you sure? if you're not feeling the party, we can leave.”

you smile at rafe. you weren't sure what you were getting into when you started dating him. you hung out in the opposite crews at school, rafe was popular and easy going, captain of the football team. you never attended the same parties as him during those years, it wasn't until after school where you graduated valedictorian that you got close to him.

“you love to party, babe. i can handle it.” you love it too, usually.

“yeah, but there's a lot of drinking going on. if you're uncomfortable-”

“no.” you shake your head. you aren't a fan of getting drunk yourself, but you don't mind being around people if all they're doing is dancing and having fun.

“then what is it? you can't fool me darling.” 

“i just… saw your ex at the party.” you frown. “i can't help but compare myself to her and… it makes me feel insecure, but im trying not to. i want to get better, seriously.”

“aw, baby.” rafe pulls you onto his lap, tired of any distance between the two of you. “you have nothing to worry about. i only have eyes for you.”

“i know, im being silly.” you sigh, wiping at your under eyes before your tears build up.

“you're the most beautiful girl ive ever seen. i even thought that in high school.” rafe laughs. “but you were so good, so focused on school, i didn't want to become a distraction by trying to get you out on a date.”

“oh my god!” you squeal. “how come you never told me that before?”

rafe just shrugs, a soft smile on his face. “if i knew you felt that way, i would have. i promise, you've got nothing to worry about. im yours.”

you press your lips against rafes, kissing him deeply, right there on the outdoor sofa for everyone to see.

“i need you baby.” rafe groans, hands squeezing at your sides.

“yeah.” you nod. “yeah, need you too.”

“want to go home or… or can i find a room upstairs? kelce won't mind.” 

“upstairs.” you stand up, rafe quickly following. 

“good.” he smiles down at you, arm wrapped around your waist as he leads you back inside, into the crowd of people.

“rafey!” a voice squeals, making you frown. he doesn't let anyone call him rafey except for you.

“hayley.” rafe sighs, sounding nowhere near as enthusiastic, wanting to get you upstairs as soon as possible. “what do you want?*

“just to say hi.” she twirls a piece of hair around her finger, eyes darting to look at the way his arm is wrapped securely around your body. “how's my rafey?”

“not your rafey. its just rafe to you.” he grunts out.

“oh, you're so silly.” she lets out a shrill laugh, reaching forward to press her hand against his bicep.

“hey, in case you haven't noticed-” you speak up. “rafe isn't with you anymore. so stop calling him rafey and stop touching my man.”

hayley pouts and looks at rafe, giving him an opportunity to defend her, but he just smiles down at you.

“believe me now?” rafe pulls you away towards the stairs, leaving hayley to huff and head for another drink.

“ill believe you when you fuck me.” you smile, shutting the bedroom door behind you and making sure to lock it. 

“get naked then, babe.”

you both are quick to strip before coming back together in a mess of tongue and lips as rafe dominates your mouth, leaving no room at all for doubt.

“god, feel how hard i am for you.” rafe takes your hand in his, guiding it to his cock.

you stroke up and down his length, the weight heavy and familiar against your palm. “all this for me?”

“you know it, baby.” he laughs dryly, cut off with a moan as you swipe the pad of your thumb over the head of his cock.

“but first…” rafe takes your hand away, and your eyes widen as he sinks down to his knees. “i have to taste you.”

“oh!” you squeal as rafes hands grip your hips, his mouth burying between your thighs.

“fuck!” you moan out, grabbing onto the large poster bed, sinking your fingernails into the wood as his tongue swipes through your folds.

“god, you're so yummy.” rafe moans, his words vibrating your pussy. he tilts his head up, eyes locking on yours as his lips wrap around your clit.

“rafe!” you scream out, not caring if anyone hears, hoping hayley is nearby enough to hear your moans of pleasure as he focuses on sucking at your clit.

“god, i would make you cum like this over and over, but i need to get inside of you.” rafe stands up, capturing your mouth again.

“wanna ride you.” you tell him. you've slept with rafe many times since the start of your relationship, but he's always been the one on top and in control.

“really?” rafe grins at you, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

“yeah.” you nod. “im feeling- im feeling confident.”

“that's just what i like to hear, darling.” rafe presses a kiss to your lips before laying himself down on the bed, head propped up against the pillows so he can watch you.

you climb over top of him, the only light in the room from the moonlight streaming in the window as you align him with your cunt, sinking down with a moan.

“fuck, baby.” rafe grips your hips, not ready yet to fully give up control as you begin to move up and down with his assistance.

“god, so big.” you gasp out.

“mhm, and all for you, my girl.” rafe helps you speed up, not used to being in this position.

your joint moans fill the room as you ride him, grinding your hips back and forth with every movement until you find the spot inside of yourself that has you screaming out.

“ah, fuck, right there?” rafe begins to lift his hips into you, planting his feet into the bed to get the maximum lift possible as he thrusts upwards, angling his cock to push against just where you like it.

you fall forward, pressing your chest against rafes as he holds your hips still, pounding up into you.

“oh my god!” you squeal out, hands gripping onto rafes biceps as they flex and bulge as he lifts you up and down.

“gonna cum baby, can't last.” rafe presses his face into your hair, inhaling your scent. “you feel too good.”

“yeah, inside me.” you nod, own high not far away.

“fuck.” rafes moans grow as his cock swells inside of you, releasing only moments later.

the feeling of him flooding your insides sends you overboard, your orgasm causing your entire body to shake as your cunt squeezes down on rafes cock, milking the rest of his cum, not wanting to leave a drop.

“fuck.” rafes hands squeeze your hips again. “you're so perfect.”

you smile up at him, feeling tired from the sudden act. “take me home?”

“yeah.” rafe let's out a yawn. “in a minute.”

“mmkay.” you hum, resting your cheek against his chest. “don't fall asleep on me, rafey.”

you have to poke rafe awake a minute later. you both get dressed to get out to your car, the party still raging as you walk hand in hand.

“oh, there you are!” hayley stops in front of you, but you've had enough of her.

“sorry, no time to chit chat.” you plaster on a fake enthusiastic smile. “his cum is dripping out of me right now, so we gotta get home and take care of that. enjoy the party though!”

you pull rafe outside as he cackles. “damn, baby.” his arm wraps around your shoulders. “you are so hot when you're jealous.”

[nadiajustbe]

Underrated HMC moments I've never seen anyone talking about part 2

Howl choosing "H. Jenkins" for the shop's sign wich is the one and only moment in the series he actually uses his legal initials, as "H" can stand for "Howl" and "Howell" in the same time

Lettie being so angry about Prince Justin calling her "a sweet lady" that she said that she would prefer ever Howl over him. Wich is. Telling.

The King assuring that he never pushed Justin off and that everyone who knows them both wouldn't assume that.

Sophie being so RAGED with the whole weedkiller and daffodils situation she wasn't saying A SINGLE FULL WORD for about a page in the least. All of the sounds were like "argh!" and "Sophie gave the wordless glump of range"

The seven-league boots having the funniest description of use ever, as every time someone used it then the effects were simply narrated as "Zip!"

Howl raises the skull and quotes Hamlet directly to it, wich becomes a hundred times funnier when you remember that this Skull is canonically and ironically the only "person" in the room who can understand the reference.

Howl saying "Denmark" in the same sentence. And, again, they're in a fairly tale fantasy word. Sophie has absolutely no clue what to hell is Denmark. For Howl this is the basic knowledge of elementary school level.

Poor Percival being almost KILLED for transforming in the middle of a valley because people thought he's a WEREWOLF.

Poor Percival being STROKED with information of him being made of part of two other people right after experiencing heavy trauma, beheading, physical damages, not really well-planed adopting and moving a house.

Percival describing laying on the shelf and looking at the other parts of himself. What a lovely kids book.

Sophie accidentally making cayenne pepper magical. She would make a great seller-witch career because she doesn't need to know the spell in order to make. She takes random powder. She says it will do the duel fair. It makes the duel fare by making an opponent sneezing uncontrollable (wich is also just a way cayenne pepper affects people lmao)

Sophie's first thoughts after she heard that Howl is leaving the black door knob where it is being "Of course! There's miss. Angorian!'. Sophie, dear, he has a family out there.

Michael, apparently, hiding the money under the same brick Sophie will soon describe in CITA as "the brick where we're hiding money from Howl"

Miss Angorian and Howl acting like the spell in a modern Wales is the most normal thing ever. "That's a spell!!" "Oh yeah of course I suspected that"

“Didn’t know I used to fly up the wing for my university, did you, Mrs. Nose?” “If you were trying to fly, you must have forgotten how,” aka Sophie absolutely not understanding modern world sport terminology

Drunk Howell trying to get through the door MULTIPLE times, bumping on it before "discovering" the door

Calcifer "taking" that huge mention they lived (and almost never visited) in without buying it. It was literally said the owner is just Not Here.

Sophie loosing an acces to her own room. Wich must be really sad.

Witch of the Waste leaning on a swing when literally capturing Howl's family

Additionaly: Howl canonically NOT altering his clothes while rushing to save his family. He was running around in a long-sleeved medieval closes on a welsh playground

Sophie and miss Angorian having a whole fight over the guitar pulling it back and forward while it was making horrible sounds

Sophie literally pushing miss. Angorian off the house using the said guitar

Howl immediatly reacting when someone mentioned that the star Michael tried to catch looks sad.

Scarecrow literally running around with parts of Justin's body on its sticky shoulders for eighty percent of the book's finale

Howl saying he could be "the evil fairy at his own christening" which is probably a reference to the "Sleeping Beaty". Also. rises a question: did Howl HAD a christening. There's a huge chance he actually did.

Ben and Justin just. smiling at each other for enough amount of time for Sophie's narrative to say "If she had paid any attention she would see them". Am I interuppting something???

Lettie hating Howl's courting SO MUCH she asked Percival to bite him several times.

Additionally: Ben apologising to Howl for trying to bite him. That's also probably first time they're interacting

Howl ignoring all of it because sOPHIE HATTER

[hisuiya]

hiii

could you possibly write boyfriend!kirishima hcs?

thank uu

hi! ofc i can :)

kirishima ejirou as your boyfriend ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

pairing. boyfriend!kirishima x gn!reader

content warnings. pure fluff, pda!

if you’re lucky enough to have kirishima as your boyfriend, best believe this man will treat you like royalty.

he’s so supportive and wholesome, never wasting an opportunity to tell you how awesome you are

his love language is definitely a mix of acts of service and words of affirmation, so expect lots of thoughtful gestures & compliments!

also he’s a big fan of physical touch & feels no shame whatsoever with pda

oh, you guys are walking side by side? his strong hand is already snaking its way into yours.

def the type to send you random texts throughout the day like “miss you sm!” or “thinking about u!”

he remembers the little things. did you mention that you thought the new restaurant down the street looked good? he’s already making reservations & surprising you!

being the best boyfriend ever is the manliest thing that a guy can do—so best believe kirishima makes it his civil duty to love you as much as possible.

insists on carrying heavy things for you even though you’re perfectly capable—it’s just chivalrous!

you better hope that nobody disrespects you while kirishima is around. his entire mood changes, and he wastes no time in standing up for you. nobody messes with his s/o and gets away with it.

either way, he brags about you to all of class 1-A, and he never passes the opportunity to talk about how pretty and cool and talented you are.

you guys have movie nights on friday where he’ll come over to your dorm and you guys cuddle up on the couch.

always lets you pick the movie, and will watch everything, even if it isn’t his favorite genre. just for you, he’ll pretend to like it!

you look over & he’s crying a little bit after a sad scene in which the main character sacrificed himself for his friends. “how manly!” he says, tears streaming down his cheeks. don’t worry, though. you pull him closer and kiss the tears away.

it’s moments like those where he’s truly so grateful to have you in his life.

the both of you just went out to eat for a date, and now you’re walking back to the dorms. but as soon as you stepped outside, it was so cold. don’t even need to ask—he’s already taking off his jacket and putting it around you.

you blush as he zips it up. “no way, you’re not freezing on my watch!” and he kisses your forehead.

if he’s cold, he’ll play it off. just a small price to pay for his lover!

loves randomly flexing his muscles and showing off how strong he is, and he’ll get adorably flustered when you compliment him.

definitely lets you hop on his back while he’s doing push ups for conditioning. doesn’t matter your weight, he gets through 100 push ups with no sweat!

surprises you with flowers spontaneously. “happy 219th day anniversary!” he’ll say as he hands you the prettiest bouquet of flowers you’ve ever seen. “but these flowers aren’t prettier than you!”

cuddling with him after a long day is the best. you guys will lay on his bed, and he’ll wrap the blanket around you guys, trapping you inside. you lay on top of him, your legs tangled in a mess and your arms around his neck. kirishima strong arms are wrapped around your frame, and he holds you close. “i love you so much, y/n.” he says, kissing your forehead.

you truly have the best boyfriend ever.

author’s notes. kirishima is literally the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. writing this was so sweet!!

hisuiya © 2024. please do not copy, plagarize, translate, or repost my works.

[felassan]

What's all this about Solas speaking in iambic pentameter? English isn't my first language so I never noticed anything odd about the way he talks, but your blog is the first time I've seen it mentioned by anyone

hello! ◕‿◕ Solas sometimes speaks in a specific pattern or rhythm. It sometimes gets described as or compared by people to iambic pentameter. (which is a type of rhythm common in traditional English poetry. Shakespeare used it in his sonnets and plays.) Though, I'm not sure that it's actually literally that or always that. The main point is that at those times, he's speaking particularly poetically, with a specific poetic rhythm in his speech. (Like where the stress on syllables is and the 'beats' in his speech.) Occasionally, the Inquisitor's dialogue line[s] in response to him are the same.

When Trick Weekes wrote Solas in DA:I, they wrote some of his key scenes to KD Lang's cover of the song Hallelujah on a loop. They talked about some of their process and the reasons for the use of this technique in terms of Solas' characterization in this DA:I-era blog post:

Trick Weekes: "When Solas talks about things that he saw in the Fade, things that speak to a distant past, I needed him to sound ever so slightly otherworldly and wistful – someone remembering a dream with a sense of both sadness and inevitability. If you follow [that link] and look at some of Solas’s lines, you may notice a familiar rhythm come out. It would have been forcing it to give lines the same rhyme scheme, but giving the words the meter captured some of that wistfulness and made Solas sound ever so slightly otherworldly. (In the rare cases the player got into the same rhythm, there was always an approval bump from Solas. For that brief period, it was like the player was thinking like he did.) I used this a few times over the game, and I love what it did to his voice. Also, Cori (who edited Solas) is exceedingly kind for putting up with my request that changes to those lines keep this surreptitious rhythm."

[source]

An example of when it happens in DA:I is:

"I've journeyed deep into the Fade // in ancient ruins and battlefields // to see the dreams of lost civilizations. I've watched as hosts of spirits clash // to reenact the bloody past // in ancient wars both famous and forgotten. Every great war // has its heroes. // I'm just curious // what kind you'll be."

Compare this with the song's lyrics:

"I heard there was a secret chord // That David played, and it pleased the Lord // You don't really care for music, do ya? Well it goes like this: The fourth, the fifth // The minor fall, the major lift // The baffled king composing Hallelujah Hallelujah // Hallelujah // Hallelujah // Hallelujah"

An example from Trespasser is:

"I lay in dark and dreaming sleep [I heard there was a secret chord] while countless wars and ages passed [That David played, and it pleased the Lord] I woke still weak a year before I joined you. [You don't really care for music, do ya?]" etc.

Recent mentions of this are:

Q. Will Solas still occasionally or dramatically speak in iambic pentameter? A. “Massive kudos to Patrick, who always writes Solas so well. Again, Solas is a returning character. It’s the same Solas you know and love (or hate depending on who you are). The same writer. So I think the answer is yeah, it’s Solas.” – John Epler

[source: BioWare dev Discord Q&A on June 14th]

User: "you really went off with solas. but the iambic pentameter makes writing fanfic dialogue for him so treacherous..." Trick Weekes: "It doesn't always have to be in the cadence! Just when he's deeply feeling The Old Days! He's written in standard prose 99% of the time!"

[source]

I think he does it a bit in the gameplay reveal video [Veil ripping scene with Varric] too. hope this helps :>

[msg refs this post]

[For the developer Q&A from June 14th on Discord: Notes are here, re-watch link is here]

[the-s1lly-corner]

If it's alright, could I request a Toby, Slenderman, Eyeless Jack, and Jane the Killer x reader (separately), where the reader has no self preservation? Not in a sad way, but more in a "cheerfully confident that they can handle it" kinda way.

Either way, I hope you have a good day!

Crps x overly confident!reader w/ no survival instinct

Points

JANE REQUEST SPOTTED!! Feels like hardly anyone asks for her!!

Side note I could NOT find a good gif LMAO

Characters: Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Slenderman, Jane the Killer

Notes: reader is GN, reader is not suicidal in any way they just think they're built different, reader is written as a human

CWs: injury and blood mentions, canon typical violence and death

SLENDERMAN

hes seen humans die to less, hes not going to let you follow that path... why would have to do any of this when hes right here to do the dirty work for you without complaint? he simply doesnt get it

but still, if he knows you will survive he will let you go- as foolish as he may think you are for throwing yourself into a fight or disaster- he will never fully understand humans so surely you must have a reason for this? stops this when it just leads to you getting hurt over and over, it slowly becomes clear that youre doing it because youre cocky. you truly do think you'd come out the other side unscathed

you dont even get the chance to throw yourself into a fight against a someone wielding a weapon- theyre torn down before you can get too close, leaving behind a mess of gore on the ground. your attitude may have rubbed off on him, he hardly ever displays such strength and violence- but if this is what needs to be done to show that you dont need to fight anymore then so be it

TICCI TOBY

honestly? he might just join you in whatever danger youre about to throw yourself in- he himself doesnt have much survival instinct, though a lot of that hinges off of his inability to feel pain. he minimizes the damage done to his body most of the time

and... that kind of bleeds into how he acts when youre reckless, afterall hes never had to be careful about himself- and you seem to hold the same belief to your own body... its going to take a real nasty injury to snap him out of that and make him realize that youre not invincible- even if the lesson doesnt sink in for you

you still sometimes make light hearted bets on things when stuff gets intense- "oh i bet i can take him-" "oh i can do this with one hand tied behind my back-" and so on and so fourth

youre both a little.... foolish...

EYELESS JACK

painfully aware of human anatomy and what it can and cant take- that comes from being very interested in the topic as well as being able to look inside human bodies first hand

a lot of the time you cant even take a single step towards the danger, hes already got his hand on your shoulder and tugging you into the other direction... and in the case where its dangerous but not deadly? you can feel the look hes giving you under his mask... for someone with no eyes he can give a mean glare

you give him hypotheticals for threats that you can take on and hes just "absolutely not."... he will not spare your ego, your safety is far more important to him- youre the one good thing in his life and hes not going to let you get yourself killed

JANE THE KILLER

it takes her a moment to process what youve said and by then youre already running towards the threat- and shes bolting after you to either back you up or drag you away... preferably drag you away if its something that cannot be stopped or bested

what were you thinking? are you insane? what if you were killed? shes not going to hold anything back, she wants to understand why you would do something like that- especially unprepared... do you have a death wish?

not at all happy or pleased with your little habit of just. running into things head first... she doesnt think its commendable or brave, and shes going to let you know what she thinks as shes trying to stop your wounds from bleeding all over the place

you can tell shes trying to be nice- well, niceish- but her tone does slip out as she speaks

[nottivagos]

i also miss stalker!carlos :( maybe mafia!carlos but not as much as stalker!carlos. he has me in a chokehold.... (could he PLEASE) imagine him just being so attentive to your schedule, always appearing when things get so stressful and he just knows what to do... what if she falls asleep with her head on his lap, and it's just the most beautiful view he's had? so angelic, so perfect, and it just fuels his need to keep her his and trap her. idk I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN BABY! Welcome Notti's "Not So Innocent" Notebook where I write some filth to make your Saturday a little bit better <3 || 18+ mdni pls and ty

tw: themes of stalking, mentions of kidnapping & overall very immoral and illegal behaviours.

an: oh nonnie... are you trying to kill me? I'M GOING INSANE YOU READ MY MIND. let's keep this a secret between you and me but your ask has established the prequel to the main stalker!carlos fic i'm working on <3

It’s weird how he was always there when you needed him the most.

It was as if Carlos Sainz was a ghost looming over your every move, following your every footstep two feet behind so you wouldn’t suspect anything, hidden by the distance between you both. A cold entity crawling up your skin, one that seemed to know more about yourself than even yourself knew, the fear making your blood run cold, but the underlying thrill made a rush of heat pool to your insides.

Isolation leads to helplessness, turning to the first person who shows you kindness in some way, unable to read the lines between their good morals. Drunk on the dopamine, latching onto the warm and homely high, the feeling that someone cared about you, is enough to make anyone swoon. It's typical human nature.

Carlos had seen you through most stages of life since you’d moved into the neighbourhood. The highs of when you got that promotion at work after months of hard work and trying to impress your unimpressed boss, to the lows of another failed relationship with a jerk who couldn’t even turn up to the second date, he was always there. It was eerie to think about, scary that you hadn't even thought for a moment that he was a chronic stalker, like a wolf ready for the kill, hunting for the most innocent lamb it could sink it's sharp molars into.

The sadness you felt made his insides boil with rage. How dare someone stand you up? How could anyone not appreciate a pretty little thing like you? He could’ve hit the asshole in that moment, telling him to “never talk to his girl ever again”, but instead he took you inside with open arms, silently gritting his annoyance at your situation, before hushing and cooing soft murmurs into your ear to stop the overflowing tears from shedding onto his new hoodie and ruining your makeup in the process.

If only he could have you all to himself, he thought. Only if there was some way to just scoop you up off of your feet one day, make you abandon your dreary life just so you could be with him. He’d find you a pretty little cottage somewhere, like he'd observed you saying, secluded from the horrible world you both lived, and you wouldn’t even have to lift a finger. You’d just have be his pretty little girlfriend, maybe even his wife later on, smitten and completely enamoured whilst he did all the work.

Today wasn’t any different. Carlos observed the way your shoulders were hunched as you exited your car parked in the driveway, the way your eyes looked sunken and tired, the fatigue radiating off your body as you sluggishly walked into your house. He could sense your stress from his own home, the way the knots were probably stiffening in your shoulder blades, the fact that your eyes were probably begging to cry tears from the overwhelming pressure bubbling inside of you— it was too much for you to comprehend, and he knew your ways of coping all too well.

Beautifully manicured nails hovered in front of your mouth, just begging to be bit into to alleviate the pressure of the day you’d had that you were feeling. As your teeth started to come down on your thumb, your motion was stopped by the abrupt ringing of the doorbell. Sliding off the couch with a raised eyebrow, you opened the door to Carlos, holding a small shopping bag with a friendly smile.

“I brought some bath salts and some chocolate that were lying around in my cupboards. I thought you might appreciate them a little more than I would,” he explained with that thick accent that made your insides flutter, inviting himself inside your house with ease. Your heart melted at the action, fluttering as his large hand came to press on the small of your back, his doe brown eyes soft as you made eye contact with him.

The bath was euphoric and overall a success on both parts. Carlos’s hands knead against your knotted muscles with ease, as he let you ramble on about everything that was stressing you out. It was beautiful, you felt validated for once in your life, a feeling that made you feel giddy like a little child. He was charismatic and a gentleman to you, murmuring about how you “shouldn’t have gone through that” or that “a girl like you shouldn’t feel this stressed, let alone upset”, the softness of his voice making your brain fuzzy on the dopamine.

By the time you were all cozy in your loungewear, you’d snuggled with Carlos on the sofa, basking in each other’s presence, hand idly stroking your hair whilst you nested into his lap. The TV softly hummed in the background, but you both didn’t pay much attention to it. The stillness and the tranquility of the evening made you even more drowsy than you were originally, and you could feel yourself slowly dozing off as you let your fatigue win. When you’d become unresponsive to your intimate small talk, Carlos looked down at you with curiosity, wondering why you’d gone silent all of a sudden.

“Cariño, did you fall asleep?” he asked with a soft chuckle, brushing some hair out of your face to reveal your closed eyes. Your soft breaths filled the room as Carlos relaxed on your couch, resting against the plush cushions. He let out a content sigh, doe eyes fixated on your snoozing form, softly snoring whilst curled up by his side like a sleeping animal.

Calloused fingertips continued to soothingly comb through your damp hair, as he let his mind wander. The sight below him was angelic. A beautiful sight he wanted to remember forever, too pure to even disturb in the slightest of ways. In his eyes, it fuelled his desire to keep you as his own more. The way you looked, the trust you’d put into him over the past few months, he knew soon enough he’d be able to finally put his claws into you forever and you’d not even bat an eyelid.

“Soon enough you’ll be mine, princesa,” he mumbled, brushing some hair behind your ear ever so gently. “Soon enough you’ll be safe, away from all this stress that’s tying you down. With me, forever.”

And after that, he let the boldness of his statement and overall desire linger around the four walls that were about to trap you in a hell disguised by his own designed domesticated haven.

nonnie, i just want to say thank you for actually requesting this. you're my first nonnie and i'm SO HONOURED that you requested something! the past few days have been such a rollercoaster for me with divorced mechanic!danny so thank you for appreciating my silly little thoughts, it means so much to me. - notti <3

[weepingchronicles]

platonic yandere hunter headcanons

tw/cw: yandere behavior, stalking, creepy(?), drugging(tranquilizers), guns mentioned, hunting obviously, cussing, kidnapping

a/n: i guess this is my first yandere oc? I don't know if he'll ever have a name or background but I'll just call him hunter

He acts like a friendly neighbour at first and for right now that's all he is.

To be honest, there is something slightly off about him.

The way you've never seen him without a weapon of some kind draped across his back. Or the way he leers and asks you questions slightly too personal.

"Where are your parents?" "Oh, are you close with them?" "Aw, that's a shame."

Still he was nice, enough. He never crossed a line. If he saw you getting uncomfortable his teasing and questions immediately stopped. So, that must be a green flag?

During winter, you had stopped hiking and going out to the trail you normally would. I guess the time spent away from you made Hunter fall deeper into his obsession with you.

He'd follow you to the grocery store, dentist, whenever you'd leave your house. He'd justify thinking it's just to keep you safe but didn't clarify on what.

During this, he'd learn more about you. Your habits, schedule and personal life.

You didn't have a good home life as far as he can tell. Sometimes he'd hear shouting within your house right before you burst out and slam the door to walk off some steam.

He thought he could treat you better, give you the home he thought you deserve. He had begun to think he knew you better than anyone else did.

Once you're back in the forest again is when he'd slowly force himself into your life.

He'd somehow "bump" into you whenever you're hiking and escort you. Saying "It's too dangerous for a kid like you to be walkin alone out here." You were creeped out to be honest but he was somewhat right.

Although he was actually pleasant to be around, one time he took you to the river and helped you catch a fish. He offered to help you cook it back at his place but you declined.

Other times were more silent but eventful, you'd both sit and enjoy the nature breeze, the birds. Sometimes when you were lucky a deer would run by, blessing you with its innocent presence.

You asked why he hadn't shot it, considering his job is to hunt.

"Because I'm with you, kiddo."

The more time you spent with him, coincidental or not, you slowly began to open up. He somehow knew your likes and dislikes in which you couldn't help but ramble about when brought up, he found it entertaining.

All your baggage too began to untangle. You'd talk about your problems with your family and how you go out into nature to get away from it all. It becomes your only safe space.

Hunter understood easily, he was always attentive when you talked of your parents but you failed to notice the murderous look in his eyes whenever he heard something that ticked him off a little too much.

You began to see Hunter as a father figure. I mean, he'd comfort you when you were sad, took you out fishing. He was more of a father than your biological one.

One day after fishing, he asked you if you wanted to go back to his cabin and cook it. He'd always ask you but always declined, but this time you actually felt safe enough to accept.

Hunter was delighted and drove you to his cabin further into the woods.

It was a lot nicer than you expected, you think it would look like a cabin from a horror movie or something but it was newly furnished or just well kept.

Hunter told you sit down and get comfy while he prepared the fish.

You did so in the living room. He gave you some hot tea but you never actually drank it, being far more interested in his home.

Hunter never talked about himself or family, you thought maybe it was because he was divorced or just secretive about personal things.

But as you roamed around the living room you noticed there were no framed photos at all.

Well, there was one. It was a photo he has taped on his window above the sink with him and you. You had caught your first fish and he wanted to take a photo to celebrate which you begrudgingly complied.

You roamed around more, careful with your footsteps to not make any creaking. You didn't want him to think you're snooping, I mean you are, but not in a bad way!

You came across a room that was slightly ajar enough to peek in. It was his bedroom.

His bed was messily made and on the dresser were empty or half empty beer bottles. Leaning on the wall were a couple shotguns, you didn't know if they were loaded or not. The only innocence misportraying his room were these lilacs in a vase you had collected on a hike with him. They were slightly dying, hunched in posture while a couple petals fell.

You roamed around more, you found the bathroom down the hall and passed the kitchen without Hunter noticing as he was cooking.

You had looked in every room so far besides the basement.

It was sketchy you will admit, but maybe that was your guilty conscience punishing you for snooping around.

You had went down a couple of steps and there was a hall. Most of the rooms down the hall were normal, for extra storage, that kinda thing.

You made your way down to the final door. It had a slide bolt lock and was probably the only door where the paint was peeling.

You figure it was just another storage room or maybe a place to keep his guns..(why would he need that kind of lock anyway?)

You open the room and peek inside, you find a light switch and turn it on. The room is ghostly cold, making you scrunch up your shoulders in chills.

What... the fu-

Your mouth fell slightly agape. The room had posters of your favorite media and characters plastered on the walls. On one side was a dresser and on-top were some of your childhood plushies that mysteriously went missing awhile ago.

"What the fuck is this.."

The most scariest part to you was that in the center was an old mattress covered by a thick blanket and few pillows. Alongside was a long chain connecting to the wall, it was meant for someone.

Your heartbeat sped up, Hunter was not who you thought he was.

You quickly ran out and went upstairs again, standing in the hall where you could hear Hunter humming to himself while cooking.

You froze there for a couple seconds, debating on what to do. You could just make a run for it but you don't know the way back home and it would take forever to get back on foot. Plus, he has guns. The other option was to pretend everything was fine, all good. You didn't know how well you could that, putting a hand to your chest made you feel your frenzied heartbeat. What if he knew something was up and killed you? What if you pretend and stay but he kills you anyway?

Your thoughts began to blur as if you were a deer caught in headlights, you only snapped out of it once you heard Hunter calling your name.

"There you are! What's wrong?"

You felt your lip twitch, control yourself.

"I- I was looking for the bathroom." You felt your throat suddenly dry up, like you've just been in the sahara desert.

Hunter chuckled at this and gestured to the bathroom that was just further down the hall.

His smile faltered when he realized you wouldn't move yet when he reached out to your shoulder, you instinctively backed away.

"Kiddo?" He said, slightly confused and panicked. He looks down to the basement and saw the door was still open.

Realization hit him and he was trying to muster up an explanation, anything.

But you were already running, you didn't have enough time to put on shoes so you were running on only your socks.

You tried to remember the path you came from, you couldn't just run down the road he'd easily drive by and catch you. Everything in the woods looked different as the sun began to set and the sky was cast with an orange hue, it was almost more alive than in the daytime.

You didn't stop to look behind you, only running as fast as your wobbly knees could take you but you could hear your name being called in the distance which somehow urged you to sprint faster.

Fuck, maybe your parents were right in saying to do Track and Field. You were panting, your chest felt itchy and your cheeks burned yet felt cold all at the same time. You knew you couldn't yet stop though.

Finally, once you couldn't hear your name being called is when you stopped by a large stone.

You tried to contain your breaths but they came out in only puffs as you regained control of yourself.

How the fuck were you supposed to get home now!?

In a state of hopelessness you began to softly cry. You came into the woods because it was your safe space but all you want to do right now is be back home on your bed.

Before you went into a full breakdown, you heard the familiar call of your name again.

Hunter.

You gasp and hide behind the large stone, accidently falling in a small river and biting your lip at the freezing water.

You peek out the best you can without revealing your hiding spot.

You see the blurry image of Hunter walking, is he...

Is he holding a gun!?

"Kiddo!? Come here, I'm not going to hurt you. Let's just go back to the cabin and get you warmed up."

'Um, I think I rather freeze to death out here, thanks.'

You knew he was getting closer as the creaks in the twigs and leaves louden.

Feeling you have no choice but to make a run for it, you do. Either he finds you hiding, shoots you or you run and he tries to shoot you.

"(Y/N)! Come back here now!"

Is this guy really trying to get you to come back willingly? Why is he not shooting?

"Come back or I'll shoot!" Oh, there it is.

You don't stop running however, you run in a zig zag motion to make it hard for him to shoot but I guess he never told you how good of a shot he was.

A shot came to your left calf and another at your shoulder, making you crash into the dirt and solid ground in front of you. You thought it would hurt more, a bullet ripping into your flesh like a fucking parasite. But what you felt was stinging.

Yeah, it still fucking hurt but it wasn't a pain you expected from a bullet wound. In that last moment you have consciousness, you turn over peering down at your calf and seeing a dart poke right into it.

A dart?

Hunter rushes by your side, finally catching up to you.

Your instincts urge you to escape but a numbness spreads throughout your body, making your eyelids so very heavy.

He lifts your head in his hands, caressing your hair and brushing away dirt on your face.

"Shh, it's okay now. Just go to sleep, everything will be okay once you wake up."

You tried to move, run, protest, anything! But it felt like someone put a weighted blanket over you, or more like ten blankets.

You began to lose consciousness and your eyesight blackening. You could feel your wrists and ankles getting tied together. You were pulled over what felt like Hunter's shoulders, as if you were a freshly caught deer. Maybe that's how he saw you.

You didn't have much of a say either way as he trudged further into the woods again, carrying you.

a/n: woop yay!! my first original character! feel free to ask any questions bout him, if you have any. I might make a part 2 to this when I feel like it but I have a bunch of other requests to do at the moment. also let's not talk about how it's almost 6 am and I'm writing this

[nanawritesit]

sugar-daddy!BM headcanons (NSFW section at the end)

SFW trigger warnings: fem!reader, he ends up being more like a rich boyfriend than an official sugar daddy, you call him daddy, he calls you honey and baby, light cursing, mentions of a sick family member

NSFW trigger warnings: p in v intercourse, oral sex, hair pulling, scratching, marking up, soft dom x obedient sub dynamic, spanking, handcuffs, lingerie, daddy kink, size kink, car sex, balcony sex, he calls you princess and baby

how you met:

you met matthew at the mall. you were working at a jewelry store trying to make some extra money, selling things you could never afford for yourself.

he came in one day to buy a new chain, and you were immediately taken aback at how gorgeous he was

he was tall, built, and had a smile that could make any girl melt. and the way he wasn’t fazed at all by the high prices of the jewelry meant that he had MAD money. in short, he was your dream man. but you knew there was no way he’d go for someone like you. guys like him only went after heiresses and swimsuit models, right?

still, you were super kind and helpful, as you were with all your customers who weren’t assholes. he greatly appreciated how interested you were in finding the perfect chain for him :)

you knew he was flirting with you… i mean, what man unbuttons his shirt and asks if you think his chain hangs low enough to show off his sternum? he knew how much he was flustering you, and he loved it.

once he had picked a suitable chain, you rang him up and packaged it better than you’d ever done before. you made sure to throw in some extra goodies for him too, just because he was just so damn fine 🤭

as expected, nothing came of your first interaction. he just thanked you again for all your help and told you he hoped you had a wonderful day, then walked off, presumably to another high end store

he thought you were gorgeous, sure, but he sees gorgeous women all the time. what really made him fall for you was when he saw you a few hours later.

he had in fact gone to a couple other stores, buying himself some designer clothing and fine accessories. as he was about to leave the mall with his shopping bags, his attention was drawn back to the jewelry store

a little girl had just ran up to the counter, tears streaming down her cheeks

“miss, please help me! i can’t find my mother!”

he was about to go help, but stopped once he saw you react

you immediately walked around the counter and crouched down to her level, putting your hands on her shoulders.

“it’s okay sweetie, don’t cry!” you reassured her with a warm smile. “we’ll get you back to your mother, okay?”

once she had calmed down, you asked her for her name and called security to ask them to make an announcement for her mother to come get her from the jewelry store.

“would you like to look at some pretty jewelry while we wait sweetie?” you asked her. she of course agreed, quickly forgetting her sadness as you showed her all the sparkly pieces in the case.

eventually her mother did come get her, thanking you over and over for helping her daughter find her. you told her it was no problem and to have a wonderful night!

matthew couldn’t help the little smile that crept its way onto his face. it was so sweet of you to take such good care of that kid. anyone else would’ve just dumped her off at the lost and found. suddenly, you became the most attractive girl in the world in his eyes. a beautiful girl is certainly enough to turn his head, but kindness is always what wins him over. 🥰

you were too good for this world. he wanted to take you away from this place, show you some of the happiness you always gave to others. you deserved everything, and he wanted to give it to you. 💞

becoming a sugar baby:

when he approached you and asked you out, you were honestly too shocked to even give him an answer. you thought you had seen the last of him after he bought his chain, but here he was, asking you to get dinner with him after your shift.

after collecting yourself, you told him you’d love to, but you didn’t think you were properly dressed. the white blouse, pencil skirt, and ballet flats you were wearing didn’t seem posh enough for the place he had in mind 😀

“don’t worry about it, we can stop somewhere to get you something. i think there’s a chanel around the corner, does that work for you?”

you blinked at how he said it so casually. “i think the only thing i could afford there is a luggage tag.” you laughed nervously.

“i would pay for it obviously.” he replied nonchalantly. “as well as anything else you’d like along the way.”

you wanted to protest, but everything just seemed to happen so fast. next thing you knew, he was opening the passenger door of his benz for you, and then you were in a chanel dressing room, zipping up a dress that costed more than your rent 😭

“look at you, you’re absolutely stunning!” he told you, smiling brightly with wide eyes as he looked you over. you were suddenly so bashful under his gaze, chuckling nervously and smiling at the ground

“i’m serious, you look perfect.” he told you again, taking your hands in his so you were inclined to look up at him. “you’re a total vision, own it.”

as an assistant was removing the tags so you could wear it out of the store, he pointed out that there was a pair of shoes in the display window that would go perfectly with your dress 👀

and, that you might was well pick out a bag to complete the outfit :)

“matthew, you really don’t have to do th-“

“i’ve got it, honey. i asked you out, remember? it’s no trouble.”

you usually hated it when men called you honey, but for some reason, it felt good coming from him 😳

at dinner, you had an amazing time. he was so funny and interesting, you guys just clicked immediately. for a while, you actually forgot you were in a designer dress at a posh restaurant. it was just the two of you having a nice meal together.

over dessert, he asked if you’d want to keep seeing him. you weren’t too sure if you wanted a relationship just yet… partly because you still weren’t sure why he was so interested in you, and also because you had some major trust issues from your past. men tended to swoop into your life and promise you the world, only to leave once you acted like a human being instead of a pretty porcelain doll they could carry under their arm and show off.

“that’s fine honey. if you don’t want any labels, i’m cool with that. i just want to spend time with you.” he confessed, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

you smiled at his understanding, thinking to yourself for a moment. finally, you gave him your answer.

“what about the label ‘sugar baby?’”

he smirked, obviously pleased at your suggestion. “i can definitely be your sugar daddy, if that’s what you want.”

you nodded, and the agreement was final 💋

falling for him:

adjusting to the sugar baby life was a bit difficult at first, but it wasn’t rocket science. matthew would take you out a couple times a week and give you a base allowance, and pay for everything while you guys were out. this included food, gifts, transportation, lodging, drinks… he didn’t want you spending a single penny.

“girl put your card away, daddy’s got it.” 😤

at first you kind of felt like a financial burden, but after a while you learned that he thoroughly enjoyed spending so much money on you. it was just how he chose to show his affection! he would honestly get just as happy as you did when he bought you something you really wanted 🥰

you were too shy to just go in and buy whatever you wanted, so he would usually just give you a spending limit whenever you got to a store

he took you to the jewelry store you used to work at and bought you the necklace you had always drooled over but could never hope to afford 🥹

and of course all your old coworkers congratulated you on finding a hot sugar daddy 💀

speaking of work, it was a bit awkward to explain to your family why you weren’t working at the jewelry store anymore. but they eventually came to accept it, as long as you were safe and comfortable with this new arrangement :)

he just randomly shows up at your house and tells you to pack your bags because he just booked you guys a foreign vacation

he’ll ask you where you’ve always wanted to go and then just spontaneously buy plane tickets 😭

he likes bringing you to work events as his arm candy, making all his colleagues jealous with his beautiful baby 💋

until they stare a little bit too long, and he gets possessive 👀 he tightens his grip on your waist and grits his teeth a bit, staring at them with cold, dark eyes until they look away from you

“i just had to have the prettiest girl in the world, didn’t i? now everyone wants my girl.” he’d huff, and you’d just lean into his side, whispering little flirty comments in his ear that would settle him down

“let them stare at me, you’re the only one who gets to be my daddy.” you smirked, biting his earlobe before pulling away ❤️

he liked that a lot lmao

he also likes bringing you into the studio with him! he loves showing you his work and getting your opinion on it :)

if he ever sees you even remotely struggling with anything, he immediately offers to help, both financially and emotionally

“why are you upset baby? do you need money? hugs? both?”

what truly made you fall for him was what he did when one of your family members was sick. he walked into your apartment with a gift for you, only to see you sprawled out on the floor sobbing :(

he of course immediately ran up to you to crouch down and ask you what was wrong. you explained that your relative was sick and that you had to travel quite a long way to go to them, but you didn’t have enough money for it

he didn’t even bring up the money at first. his main focus was calming you down. he cradled you in his arms and soothingly rubbed your back, shushing you slightly and telling you everything would be okay until you stopped crying

“shh it’s okay i’ve got you, everything will be okay honey, i promise.”

once you had settled down and wiped your tears, he then reached into his pocket and just handed you his card, which he had never done before.

“i want you to take this and just go to them. don’t worry about expenses, don’t worry about me, just go see your family. i’ll be here whenever you can come back.”

you could swear a cupid’s arrow hit your heart at that exact moment. this was when you knew he cared about you as much more than just a sugar baby 💞

when you got back home, you jumped into his arms without a word and kissed him harder than you’ve ever kissed anyone in your entire life. he chuckled as you pulled back, but froze once he heard what you said next.

“can i be your girlfriend matthew? like your real one?”

he just stared at you blankly for a minute, then his face broke out into the brightest smile ever. “of course you can baby. i’ve been waiting to make this official since the day we first went out.” ❤️

NSFW: (18+/MDNI)

him fucking you while you’re wearing nothing but the diamond choker he got you

he loooooves when you tug on his hair or dig your nails into his back. he’s not a masochist by any means, but a little bit of pain always gets him going 💋

he’s a soft dom 100%, but he wouldn’t mind being on the bottom if you wanted to ride him 💞 he’ll just most likely still take on a dominant role tho

(imagine his big ass hands gripping your hips and guiding you along his cock OMG)

i honestly see him being more into obedient subs than brats, but he can handle a little bit of attitude. he wouldn’t mind throwing you over his knee and spanking you if you’ve been purposefully making him jealous

oof actually he’s not always a soft dom… every once in a while he’ll put you in cuffs and make you beg for him to touch you ⛓️

will NOT let you hide your face when you finish, he needs to see you and hear you. it’s honestly what gets him off the most, knowing that he can make you feel so good ❤️

he’s possessive af so he LOVES marking you up. he’ll shamelessly leave hickeys all over your neck and chest, and ENCOURAGE you to wear low cut tops to show them off to people 💀

looooots of car sex is his benz… the windows will be fogged up and the whole car will be shaking 👀

him buying you expensive lingerie sets and leaving them on the bed before he leaves for work, then sending you a text telling you to put it on right before he gets home 🥰

now i KNOW everyone thinks matthew is a boob guy bc he’s always talking ab man titties, but i honestly thinks he likes EVERYTHING equally 😤 boobs, waist, hips, thighs, butt… he worships ALL of it!

MASSIVE daddy kink, which pairs well with his EQUALLY MASSIVE size kink. he adores pinning your wrists down with his large hands and just hovering over you, observing how small you look underneath him

i also know this man is PACKING

“awh my poor baby, is daddy too big for you? i know my princess can take it.”

“look at you, taking daddy’s cock so well… you deserve a reward, baby. i’ll give you whatever you want, since you’re being such a good girl.”

will literally stop fucking you if you call him any name other than daddy during sex 😭 (as long as he knows you like saying it, obviously)

“come on princess, you know better than that. what’s my name? yeah, say it again. louder.”

mans is a certified munch 😛 he loves receiving oral as well, but he derives a certain type of pleasure from having his tongue on your clit

him fucking you over the balcony when you guys are on vacation in a fancy hotel (don’t try this guys it’s very dangerous LOL)

overall, he’s not into anything super crazy. he’s just a dominant guy with a lot of passion. he can go rough or mellow depending on the day. he’s not super into punishing or denying, like i said, he just wants to make you feel divine. and he wants you to know that you’re his baby, always 🥰

[starlightshadowsworld]

Heroes of Olympus but when Jason returns to Camp Jupiter, he's pissed.

He doesn't cower at the sight of his camp but stands taller. A steelness in his eyes no one at Camp Half Blood has ever seen before.

But one those in Camp Jupiter know all to well.

"Twelth Leigion Fulminata, stand at attention."

He doesn't even need to raise his voice as every single Roman demigod stops what their doing to look at him.

The only thing on their faces is fear.

"Oh would you look at that, you do know how to follow orders." Says Jason, strolling forward and.

Two centurions scramble to get a seat for him, Jason sits down nodding in thanks and dismissing them.

"Does anyone care to explain, just what the fuck has been going on here in my absence?"

Octavian raises a hand and Jason snorts.

"Augur, why am I not suprised? The floor is yours."

Octavian nods, a grin on his face and began to explain what had occurred.

All the while Jason listens, his expression giving nothing away. When Octavian finished, Jason sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair.

"If there's one thing I can't tell you idiots off its for making my life boring. Your dismissed...actually one last thing Augur?"

Octavian paused, turning back around to face Jason. "Yes, sir?" Jason frowned "wipe that smug look off your face before I do it for you."

Octavian went pale, all traces off amusement gone from his face.

"Thank you. Your dismissed, get out of my sight." Octavian left without a second word.

"Jason"

"Praetor Ramirez-Arellano"

Reyna winced, and she wasn't the only one. Jason never called her by her title unless they were in the Senate.

He was hurt.

"Do tell me, has Augur Octavian missed anything in his explanation?" Reyna shook her head, for as pretentious as he was Octavian had spoken the truth.

Jason rose to his feet.

"Oh but he did, he neglected to mention that there were 3 Praetors standing before us. Now, unless the rules have changed their are only supposed to be 2."

Jason looked past Reyna, his gaze resting on Percy who waved awkwardly. "State your name."

Percy, feeling very much like he was intruding in on something answered him. "Percy Jackson."

Recognition flashed in Jason's gaze, and he softened momentarily. "Percy Jackson, son of Posideon? Formerly apart of this Camp?" He asked, gesturing to his orange Camp Half Blood top.

"Yup."

Jason nodded "apologises, Jackson. Your friends and I traveled here, you may wait in the Senate. I will release them to you momentarily." Percy grinned "thanks, erm... Sorry about all of this I really didn't know."

Jason held up a hand "that's quite alright, you are not at fault for this." Percy left and Jason's smile vanished.

"Tell me, when did the Senate allow for a new Praetor to be reinstated? And why someone so new? I'd get if it was due to an it emergency field promotion, but that wasn't the case."

He couldn't even look at her and it hurt.

"I thought you were dead, Jason.

Jason laughed, but there was no humour in it. It sent chills down everyone's spines.

"Really? Than please, show me the search parties, point me to the evidence you collected that bought you too such a conclusion. For that matter, where's my funeral pyre?"

Jason shook his head, anger and sadness in his eyes. "Don't bullshit me. You didn't think I was dead, you didn't even look. And frankly I don't think you cared too."

He looked Reyna in the eye. "You replaced me, with a Greek. I get shit for being named after a Greek hero, but none of you had a problem with this. You wanted to replace me, Reyna. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you."

He shook his head, turning his back on her.

"Jason, wait I-"

"We have several guests at our gate that we need to welcome. I've already had their weapons checked but you've proven how little you trust my authority so you might want to hurry up on that."

And with that he left to the Senate.

Jason swapped his outfit with Percy who apologised once again.

"Really man, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. My Leigion had been trying to get rid of me since the day I showed up. Unfortunately for them, I'm more valuable alive than dead." Explains Jason, Percy frowned.

"Well, fuck em." He grinned when Jason laughed in suprise. "You are definitely something else, Jackson." Percy grinned wider "see you're learning fast. I think we'll be good friends you and I."

Jason raised an eyebrow "you sure? Most of my friends stab me in the back." Percy nodded, a sincerity in his eyes that made Jason almost believe he wouldn't.

It felt too good to be true.

"Well, I'll just have to prove you wrong." Percy put a hand out "Percy Jackson, son of Posideon and former Praetor." Jason shook his hand. "Jason Grace, son of Jupiter and current Praetor."

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

[achy-boo]

Hydro Dragon's Private Love

summary: There are ways to make a relationship work. One of them is communication. However a certain judge may or may not forget this rule of relationship but when he realizes his mistake, he will make his beautiful lover feel loved by him again in private.

Ship: Neuvillette x GN!Reader

Word count: 942 words

Warning: Angst to Fluff, miscommunication(Neuvilette), mentions of insecurities(Reader), making up(Reader +Neuvilette), tooth rotting fluff at the end

Recommend listen: Lovely by Billie Eilish ft Khaild + All I Ever Need by Austin Mahone

Being a lover to the chief justice in Fontaine has its ups and downs.

You alway ask yourself ‘is it worth dating Neuvillette?’. In some cases yes and no. Due to him being the chief justice in Fontaine, public appearance is a must for someone like him which means.. He is more unapproachable and aloof towards others thus making said man seem cold like snezhnaya itself. He is more friendly and gentle towards the melusines which you ended up unofficially adopting as your daughters. Today, you have a hard time dealing with the times where Neuvillette’s job gets in the way. You make plans with Neuvillette. It seems fine until his job calls him for another case. It is constant yet you just hold in your feelings which can be a bad thing in any relationship. 

You wanted to speak your mind to Neuvillette, your hydro dragon but you are afraid to be seen as clingy or childish thus making you insecure with your abilities in the relationship. Neuvillette is not on the right either. Neuvillette never communicates with you about his daily life and his problems and the same goes to you. Neuvillette as a chief justice of Fontaine is a demanding and stressful times but he just..forgets to check up on you every day to see if you had eaten/drink anything or any stories that you want to tell him. Neuvillette did not mean to hurt you, he loves you daily. You love him to death! You never want anyone else but him! You want to be his rock..his star but it hurts. It has hurt you so much to think that you, in your eyes, are not worth Neuvillette’s love and time. You do not like your eyes, the way you dress, your personality, everything about you..are your flaws that you wanted to change. Change for him. But is it worth changing everything about you for him? Is it worth..feeling like you need to change for him to make him love you?

The days with no comfort or love from each other is daunting, yes. You want to cuddle Neuvillette while Neuvillette just wants the day to end so he can cuddle up to you all day plus he wants to feel your warmth against his body as he talks about the day. He was expecting a sight of your warm beautiful smiling face, waiting for him with that adorable dance you always do when you see him come home. Buy why..why does his heart ache when he sees you without your smile? Without that bright aura you once had? What is going on? More importantly, what did he unknowingly do? “Ma cherie, why are you shedding these beautiful tears of yours?” Neuvillette asks in a gentle voice, cupping your cheek and making you look at him. Seeing your tear stained face which is filled with sadness hurts him but hearing your voice, shaking as if you were just previously crying makes the hydro dragon want to cry as well. “Neuvi..do you love me?” You ask him with a cracking voice. “Tell me what I should change about myself for you to love me.”

‘Why did you ask me that?’  Neuvillette thought to himself that question. He always thinks that you are beautiful but he wanted to know where this comes from. As if you read his mind, you spoke up. “You have not been there for me. I..always wonder if you do not find me beautiful. Am I beautiful Neuvillette?” Oh, so that explains it. Neuvillette..did not know about this thus he is pretty dense but that does not mean that he is not attentive. But he knows that he is not perfect and he has a bit of a hard time comforting you however he wants to say what is on his mind rent free. “Ma cherie,” He spoke after a moment of tense silence. “You are beautiful. Your eyes are beautiful. You always light up my day with your cheerful personality. You are patient with me even though I had a hard time understanding humans. Nothing about you is worth changing for me. Why would I want you to change for me when I already accepted you?” You began to tear up at each compliment from Neuvillette. “In my eyes, you and your flaws are all I ever need. I am so sorry for not making time for you. It was never my intention. We should have talked about things beforehand but..wipe those tears..and smile for me. If you are sad, then I will be sad.” You sniffed a bit before wiping your tears away. “I am sorry too, my love. I just..do not want to bother you but seeing you..hearing that I do not have change for you. I am glad.”

Then you smile at Neuvillette, the same smile that he grew to love. “Oh [name]..come here.” Neuvillette whispered before leaning down to place a soft yet slow kiss on your lips. Neuvillette’s kisses are slow yet passionate, just like how you remember. The day of your first kiss with him still has that spark in them. You wrap your arms around his neck as you kiss him back, feeling tears of happiness flowing down your cheeks. What a beautiful ending.

Communication is one of the keys in the relationship. Without communication, there is no love and when there is no love then there is no relationship. If the relationship did not have communication then the love has died. Make sure to have that key as it will be worth it.

Taglists @areislol @ryuryuryuyurboat @mhiieee @dailypenpen @rrxaiky @kalims @husky-studies @asoulsreverie @dxmoness @cupids-chamber @ainescribe @oveloof @sennachi @captain-liminal @wonderlandteaparty @yumeko2sevilla @yukii0nna @zeina-is-bored @sakka-kyuu @abyssthing198 @purpl3bo1 @the-weirdos-mind @anxious-twisted-vampire @yoghurtsan @thenomadicphoenix @mccnstruck @yuan4i @snobwaffles @starglitterz @asmodeusdarling @lorelane @sweetlyvibe

© achy-boo All rights reserved Please do not copy, translate or heavily imitate my work

[ya-what--ya-erster]

Listen to me ramble about amputee Soda okay. BE WARNED THO ITS A LIL GORE-Y FOR A SEC THERE

I’m no longer waiting for someone to ask me. Let’s talk about Soda okay. Specifically my dear and beloved amputee Soda (which is an hc that I found in my notes from when I first read the book in 7th grade btw).

SO! Since it is apparent unspecified in the book what event Soda rides in. Bareback. Because I said and as a country person I would know. Rule of thumb for this post is as a country person I would know.

So obviously in the book Soda had to stop riding (because he tore his ACL I believe) BUT I have made it more tragic.

Instead, due to a series of events, Soda’s leg is absolutely *shattered*. Like. Bones sticking out shattered. Terrible, disgusting, think ten times the worst injury you’ve ever seen. (To continue on, the series of events which I mentioned is that he gets hung up and kicked, comes off the horse and lands on the leg weird, proceeds to be knocked to the ground and stepped on at full bucking force twice, and then additionally is stepped on by the pickup man’s horse that is throwing a fit. This is a goshdamn dangerous sport and this is all fairly possible. I want to say rare but honestly shit happens)

And obviously the exact second anyone sees it they know it’s all over. His family is worried for his life.

And his life doesn’t end but his career as a bareback rider who had *just seconds before his injury* qualified for the NFR (National Finals Rodeo for yall who have no clue what I’m talking about. Go watch a rodeo holy shit).

None of his family, him included, actually know how it works to be lacking a limb.

What they learn is that it’s expensive. That goshdamned prosthetic is expensive. But they want for Soda to be able to continue on with his life, so they take that chunk out of their bank account and do this for him.

It takes Soda a long time to figure out how to walk good. And he suffers awful phantom pain, especially after waking up from a gore-y nightmare about the accident that’s printed to the back of his eyelids.

but again things continue on. So yay for that!!!

now for just the bullet points cause I can

-he’s absolutely torn about not getting to ride anymore

-he can fight still. Ask the soc whos ass he kicked at the rumble. Maybe he’s not too fast but bro can pack a punch or six

-Darry and Pony try to be sympathetic to the fact that Soda still can have a hard time (mentally) but they really just don’t understand until they loose their parents. Because until then Darry and Pony had never truly lost anything, and Soda had.

-soda can’t bring himself to go to rodeos anymore because it makes him so so sad

-is the Ultimate Annoyed because yeah sure girls flirt with him a lot but after the accident all the flirting feels like sympathy and he don’t need that from them

-is even more drawn to Chet than before because Chet is still an absolute BITCH to him (just. Just a little. It’s guy flirting but soda can’t see that) and it makes him unreasonably happy

-like their first interaction after the accident goes like: “Hey, grease!” “Yup.” “I’m gonna kick your ass to Canada if you don’t get the fuck out of my sight” “ain’t ya gonna be nice to me cause a this” “I’ll keep it as a souvenir if you keep talking”

-but then they fall in love ofc

-the leg is names Angelica by the way.

-he wears long pants to cover it up even tho everyone knows about it, and compensates for that covered skin by Never Wearing A Shirt

-he absolutely uses it as an excuse for everything. Like sometimes it’s reasonable but sometimes it’s like “soda can yo pass the peas?” “No.” “Why” “Angelica.”

-at first he was really self conscious but after a good while he gets used to it and isn’t as bothered

-“Do you need help-“ “YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!”

-(I’ve written this part into the thing I’m writing but) Chet: is there anything you can do with just your hands? Soda: YOU

-two bit had hidden Angelica as a prank on more than one occasion

-soda also uses crutches instead of Angelica sometimes

-“you have two feet for a reason!” “HOLY SHIT ITS A MIRACLE!”

-“I’m gonna kick your ass.” (Proceeds to swing angelica unthreateningly in pony’s direction)

-“WATCH THIS!” (Stands for .5 seconds without Angelica and then has to get stitches on his head from falling down the porch steps)

“Don’t do horses kids” whenever anyone asks what happened (in reality tho he probably talks to people about how dangerous rodeo is. He tries to talk Chet and Dally out of competing but they won’t listen)

-“I’m not clumsy at all.” (Falls. Stitches again cause he hit the table)

-(has his leg showing) twobit: “you’re gonna scare the kids” soda: “what kids?” Twobit (joking): “Me.”

-“I’ll shove it up your ass no hesitation.”

-talks to Angelica casually to annoy Darry

-he let two bits little sister paint the “nails” on Angelica because “she wants to be pretty”

don’t question me for hells sake I did my research best I could and I know a lot about rodeo and stuff so like. Kindly correct me if I’ve been offensive but babe. On the topic of is this accident possible I know. I am aware. I have seen shit. Nothing this bad but this similar. Also go watch eight seconds it’s a true story people ACTUALLY HAVE DIED so don’t come after me on that bit. Hope you enjoyed.

BUT TALK TO ME ABOUT IT I BEG YOU

[mopeyy]

Forgotten Love

Nor x Fem Na'vi Reader

angst

Summary: Reader is in love with Nor, but he's still in love with her dead sister.

Inspired by this post!!

The soft ground of pandora glowed with each step you took, the leaves rustling from the soft wind. The glowing plants and moon guided you safely through the forest. You thought back to what led you out here tonight, how nobody in the resistance could find Nor, and you were tasked to look for him. Of course, you were the only one who knew where he'd be. You knew Nor more than anyone here, you'd memorized him from the many years you spent together in the RDA.

You stepped over a log, making your way towards the top of the waterfall, his favorite spot. You weren't surprised to see his figure sitting there, his legs dangling over the edge. Since the resistance rescued all of you, he often came up here to think. You didn't try to be quiet as you approached him, not wanting to accidentally scare him. His sharp ears twitched when you took a step. He knew you were there.

He said nothing when you took a seat next to him, still keeping his gaze on the view infront of him. Determined to end the silence, you spoke first. "Everyone is looking for you, Priya sent me to go and find you." He let a soft smile pass his face, "Well than you've found me." His gaze was unwavering, still not turning to look at you. You took note to the crease in his brows, and how his ears were slightly pinned back, he was upset. "Is this about the Aranahe? I know we spoke about it last time." You questioned.

Was he still upset? Scared that the Na'vi might view him different? Your thoughts came to an end when he replied, "No, not this time. its just-" He paused, contemplating on wether to not to tell you, "Its nothing, don't worry yourself" He ended, deciding to keep whatever he was thinking about private. You let out a soft sigh. With everything going on it was not a good time to keep secrets from one another. You placed a hand on his shoulder, "I don't mind worrying, you are my friend. Tell me, what's on your mind?" He glanced at you from the corner of his eye before placing his hand on top of yours.

He opened his mouth to speak, "Im just thinking about Aha'ri. How unfair it is that we get to be here and she doesn't. " You stayed silent, leading him to continue, "She would have loved it here, to be Na'vi. She was so brave and adventurous." A smile overtook his face as he spoke about her. You watched how his eyes held a different look in them. It was a look you haven't seen before. Why did he look this way when speaking about your sister? "I don't know I just...well, do you ever think about her?" He asked, turning to face you and watch for your response.

You swallowed before answering, "Of course I do, everyday. She was the only family I had left." you whispered, voice growing quiet and sad at the thought of her. He took your silence as his turn to speak, "I sometimes wonder what things would be like if she was still here. How different they would be." You raised a brow at this, confused you asked, "Different how?" He paused once again, thinking about his next words, "I haven't told anyone this before but, when we were children I.." he hesitated, taking a short pause before continuing, "When we were children I was in love with her. And...sometimes I think I still am." He confessed. He watched your face for any sort of reaction but you couldn't believe what you were hearing. Yes, Nor often talked of your sister but you just thought it was because he missed her like the rest of you did, you had never imagined that he may have loved her. You knew for a fact that your sister had not felt the same. When you were children all she focused on was escaping and keeping your Sarentu culture alive. She wasn't focused on love. and never once had she mentioned such a thought about Nor. How could he love someone who didn't feel the same, someone who was no longer here? How could he still love her when you were right here, in love with him.

Your eyes fell to your lap and your ears pinned to your head. You removed your hand from his shoulder and stood up. Watching you, he stood up too. "Im sorry, was that too much? I know speaking of her can bring back the memories for you and that was never my intention." He explained, he felt bad thinking that the thought of your sister made you sad all over again. You shook your head and began walking away from him, "Its not that Nor, its nothing don't worry." He started to walk behind you. He didn't want you to leave the conversation upset. "What happened to being friends and telling each other what's on our minds?" He questioned, using your words against you. When you didn't respond he grabbed your arm. Soft enough not to hurt you, but tight enough to stop you from walking away. He put his other hand on your hip, turning you to face him. "Y/n, what is it?" He pleaded.

You let out a soft breath before looking up at him through your lashes, begging your eyes not to water. "Its you Nor" You spoke. His face changed to one of confusion. His eyes narrowed and his brows creased in confusion. "I-what?" He replied, the confusion evident in his tone. You rolled your eyes. How could he be so dense? "Im upset because of you Nor. How could you love my sister when I've been here the whole time? How could you love her when I love you." You mumbled the last part. When he stayed quiet you continued to speak, "Why do you think its always me who finds you when no one else can? Why do you thinks its always me who comforts you when your upset? Why do you thinks it me who knows what concerns you? Why do you think its me who knows you." You finished.

Upon your confession his grip on you loosened. You took this as your chance to leave. Your broke free of his grip and walked away into the forest. he didn't follow after you.

comment if you want part 2!

[ovrour]

IM SO LOST WITHOUT YOU⇢ CHRISTOPHER STURNIOLO

summary; y/n is put in the hospital after being drugged at a party. The whole time her bestfriend, Chris is by her side. Both of them knowing that she wasn’t going to make it. Chris admits how he feels for her in their last moment together.

Genre; heavy angst

cw; Mentions of being drugged, rape, and Death.

a/n: im sorry. guys, this shit is so sad like, i almost cried making this. please, if any of this triggers you, feel free to click off. im not offended. and please, if something like this has ever happened to you. please reach out to someone. its always important to talk to someone about it rather than just staying quiet. my dm’s are always open. feel free to reach out to me. im always here. and if this offends anyone in anyway, please message me privately. im glad to take it down if it does. thank you.

Maybe it was a bad idea to bring you to the Party.

No.

It was a bad idea to bring you to the party. Chris was supposed to protect you. you weren’t supposed to end up here.

not where you would be connected to a bunch of machines with an IV in your arm. Oxygen tube in your nose. you would’ve preferred to be at home with the triplets, watching Shrek. Popcorn and candy, soda on the side.

laughing with your friends, and gossiping about all different types of things. yelling and laughing about different debates and their opinions on them. thats what you wanted. thats what everyone wanted.

they didn’t want to see you like this. connected to so many damn machines. they gave oxygen just so you could fucking breathe.

doctors came in almost every minute of the day, just so they make sure you were okay. it was back to back. nonstop.

making sure there wasn’t anymore drugs in your system.

you never should’ve agreed to go to that damn party chris invited you to. one minute you were fine and drinking. next minute your head was pounding, sweat pouring down your face, and then all of a sudden your passed out on the couch.

“Guys, have you seen y/n? she was just here.” Chris asked looking at his twin brothers. “no, she said she went to go get a couple drinks for us.” Nick responded.

“how long ago was that?”

“about 10 minutes ago.”

“and you didn’t go to check up on her?”

“no, i didn’t have to. she texted me saying she was on her way back.”

“and she’s not here is she?”

“No, shes not”

“then im going to go look for her. stay here.” Chris stood. He was walking up to where the drinks were and asked a brunette haired girl, if she had seen you.

“Uh, yeah i did. i think she went that way.” she pointed towards the opposite of the room near the restroom. He thanked her and walked towards the bathroom. He knocked. nothing. He knocked again. again, nothing.

He started to panic. his bestfriend was nowhere to be seen. then, he looked towards the left near the couches. there you were, passed out. Some guy on top of you, with his pants pulled down, and yours too.

He was upset, angry that someone had the nerve to take advantage of you in your most vulnerable moments. He stomped his away over there, fists clenched.

“Dude, get the fuck off her! who do you think you are.” Chris shouted. “Bro, why are you bothered? it has nothing to do with you.” The guy laughed. “it hs everything to do with me. Thats my fucking friend your taking advantage of.” Chris pulled him off you, pulling your pants up in the process.

“Alright bru, damn.” the guy walked away.

“y/n?” Chris shook you. and again. and again, and again. When you didn’t wake up or respond he panicked. Called his brothers and told them.

“Cmon chris, we’re gonna help you get here outside.” Matt spoke. they all picked you up to carry you outside. “Nick, call 911! she’s not responding.” Chris said, eyes filling up with tears. “Okay, i will.” Nick responded, hurrying to get his phone.

“you’re going to be okay y/n. i promise.” Chris cried. Holding you in his arms, his tears spilling onto your face as he ran his hand through your hair.

eventually, the ambulance made it. Bringing out a gurney, and laying ontop of it. “look, im gonna ride with y/n. you guys take the car.” Chris walked towards the ambulance. Matt, and Nick heading to car.

“Do you think she’s gonna be okay?” Nick asked. Tears starting to form in his eyes. matt looked at him.

“yeah. i think she’ll be okay. it’s y/n, shes always okay.”

they both chuckled, hoping they were right. the whole drive to the hospital was silent. how could they have let this happen to their friend. someone who they deeply cared about.

they should’ve just accompanied her. not just sit on their ass.

“y/n, im so sorry.” he cried, holding your hand as they put you on an oxygen tube. “you should’ve told me. i would’ve went with you to get drinks. otherwise none of this would’ve happened.” He apologized. blaming everything on himself. it was his fault.

“guys, shes barely got a pulse. we need to hurry.” spoke one of the paramedics. Chris’ heart dropped, he couldn’t handle losing you now. not his girl. not the one hes loved since middle school.

“im so fucking sorry y/n. none of this would’ve happened if you could’ve just said no. i never should’ve asked you to come to this damn party, if i knew this was where it was going to end.” He breathed deeply, legs bouncing with anticipation.

“everythings gonna be okay. you’re gonna be okay. how could you not be?”

“youre y/n. youre always okay.”

he felt so guilty. guilty knowing that this happened all because he invited you to some damn party. he would’ve never asked if he knew that this was going to happen. he never would’ve.

Chris would’ve rather stayed home. cuddled up with you by his side, eating all kinds of of junk food together. if you would’ve just asked. you only agreed because you didn’t want to make him feel like he was forcing you to.

eventually you make it to the hospital, paramedics rushing you in, Chris still standing by your side, even when they asked him to go sit down. which, he did but he was a nervous wreck. waiting to see what doctors had to say.

“anyone here for y/n y/l/n?”

Chris was zoned out thinking too much that he didn’t hear the doctor at first.

“Chris.” Nick spoke. “H-huh?” he hummed, turning to look at Nick. “The doctor.” Matt commented.

Chris turned to see the doctor standing there looking around. “Oh.” He stood. “uh yes, that would be me. is everything okay?” He asked, eyes filling up with tears.

“uh no.”

“w-what happened?”

“we tested y/n for drugs and it came back positive.”

“h-how that doesn’t make sense. y/n doesn’t take drugs.”

“We know. we called her mother, and she confirmed that she doesn’t. she’s on her way here now.”

“then, how did the drugs get in her system?”

“we think she might’ve been drugged.”

“do you know how this could’ve happened?”

“uh yeah, we were at a party. someone must’ve slipped something in her drink.”

“okay, and uh one more thing.”

“what is it?”

“we found traces of semen in her as well.”

“are you saying…”

“yeah, she was raped.”

“oh my god.”

Chris just stood there and thanked him as they both went their separate ways. Both Nick and Matt stood.

“is everything okay?” matt asked. “is she okay?” nick commented. “she was drugged.”

“what thats impossible. she doesn’t do drugs.”

“yeah i know. someone slipped something in her drink.”

“and uh..”

“and what chris?”

“she was raped. someone raped our friend.”

They just stood there in silence not knowing what to say. the tention felt upsetting and they were all so distraught that something like this could happen. how they could let this happen.

they were supposed to protect you. no matter what it was. their promise was to keep you safe. to care for you, to be by your side no matter what.

“boys.” spoke a middle aged woman. it was your mom, her eyes puffy from crying. “ms.l/n”

“how is she? what happened?” she asked now standing infront of them. “she’s not okay. she was drugged and raped.”

Hearing that come out of Chris’ mouth broke her to pieces. her sweet babygirl was used and taken advantage of by some guy. thinking about it made it worse. She just stood there not moving an inch, tears pouring down her face.

All of the triplets just stood there and hugged her. they knew how hard this was going to be for her. I mean, her daughter was still so young, and she was filled with joy and love. all of a sudden, that’s just taken away from you.

“we’re so sorry ms.l/n, this is all our fault.” Nick spoke. “how so?” she questioned. “we invited her to this party that we got invited to. she didn’t have to go. if she would’ve just asked to stay, we would’ve. we would do anything to go back and change that.” Commented Chris.

“oh my god. how could you let this happen? you promised to take care of her!” she shouted, pulling apart from chris. “we did. if we would’ve known this was going to happen, we never would’ve asked.” Matt spoke.

“Im so sorry.” Chris cried. he felt like the guiltiest man in the world. breaking the news to the mother of the love of his life. it hit him hard watching his beautiful bestfriends mother cry.

it was going to be hard for everyone. especially your mom. and he knew that. so, he was going to do what he couldn’t with you. and that was to be by her side all the time.

when the doctor came out, he informed them that you weren’t going to make it. the drugs had already gone into your bloodstream and there was so much of it that they didnt get it all out in time.

he told them one by one to go see you before it was too late. and thats how chris ended up where he is now. sitting in the chair next to you, holding your hand.

“im so fucking sorry y/n. this shit is all my fault. all because i invited you to some dumbass party.”

“i was meant to keep you safe. to protect you at all time. to be by your side at all times, no matter what. i couldn’t even keep that promise. i failed you, and your mother. she’s mad at us, and she has every right to be. but i promise, to look after her now that you can’t.” He cried.

“i dont know how i could’ve let this happen. if only they had told me so i could’ve been there with you. then, that man on top of you. i feel like throwing up even talking about it.”

“i just wish i could’ve done more you know?”

“i love you y/n. i always have since middle school. i never told you because i didn’t think you felt the same way even though everyone told you did. i never believed them because i thought you were out of my league. now, i wish i would’ve asked you sooner.” He cried, looking at you with red puffy eyes.

thats when he heard it. the heart monitor going off. he looked up to see it go flat.

doctors flooding in the room, asking him to step out. he could hear all the commotion going on.

they tried over and over again to use an internal defibrillator to shock you back to life. but, it didnt work. nothing did.

“time of death?”

“3:47 am”

Chris visited your grave everyday after that. he told you all the stories that happened everyday. let you know all the gossip. he told you everything.

“Hey sweet girl. i brought you your favorite flowers.” Chris smiled, placing them ontop of your grave stone.

hibiscus flowers were your favorite. especially pink ones. you told him that once when you went to a flower garden, and ever since then hes kept that in mind. it was his favorite moment you two shared.

they way your green eyes glistened in the morning sunshine, or the way you looked with no makeup on in the sun. skin glowing.

he always thought you were the most lovely, enchanting, and graceful woman ever. never once did he think any different.

you were his bestfriend, his side kick, his everything.

“Soooo…me, nick and chris uploaded a new video today, and someone asked about you. it made me cry but, happy tears. they asked what our favorite memory about you was, and i told them about the flower garden.”

“God, you looked gorgeous that day. the way the sun made you glow. i wanted to kiss you so bad. i just never got the courage to do it.” He chuckled. to him, you looked like aphrodite. there was no one else more beautiful than you to him.

He liked you because you saw him for more than just an influencer on youtube with six million subscribers. You saw him as a person with great personality. and he saw you for someone with a better personality than he had.

you were always so kind, no matter what. it didn’t matter if they did you wrong in anyway, you were always kind. you told always told him, “Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness of people.”

you were a great person and he knew that. even on your bad days when you felt like nothing, you’d always put anyone else before you. you wanted to make them feel loved. and you always did.

“I wish you were still here. Im looking after your mom, and she misses you tons. She cant stand to come and visit your grave, so she picks your favorite flowers, and tells me to being them to you. i promise i pick them too. it never left my mind that hibiscus flowers were your favorite. ever since you told me at the flower garden.”

“I hope your doing great up there. Being kind like always, i hope. I know that you always wanted to get matching tattoos together but, you’re not here anymore. So, i got your name and your birthday tattoed on my forearm. So, did everyone else.” He spoke, tears starting to swell up in his eyes.

“I dont know why im crying, but im hoping its happy tears.” He laughed. “i miss you like crazy. i get nightmares sometimes thinking about that night. how i could’ve prevented all of it from happening. Sometimes, i cant even sleep in my own room knowing that youre gone. so im in yours all the time. i hope you dony mind since i know how tidy you liked it.”

“Nick, Matt, and I go to your favorite restaurant every once a week now. Where we first met in 5th grade. We talk about you all the time. oh, also your mom put an ofrenda in our living room. so we can put all your little trinkets and stuff on it. we even have your graduation picture from four years ago.”

“I dont know what im doing y/n. i miss hearing your voice, i miss coming to you for advice. i feel so alone now. yeah, i have my brothers but you were my bestfriend. the love of my life. my favorite person in existence. now, i dont have one.” Chris cried, letting the tears fall down his face, looking down at his hands while he picked at his nails.

He genuinely didnt know what to do. He was so lost. He wished he had the right words; he just wanted you to know that he missed you like crazy. waking up everyday without you jumping on his bed was hard for him. most of the time he didn’t want to get up. He just wanted to rot in your bed all day. but, he knew that you would want him to live his best life in anyway he could.

It was hard on everyone. but, they were all there for eachother. Holidays were different, birthdays, celebrations, everything was.

“I’m so lost without you.”

He hoped that you were looking down at him proudly, even on his worst days because he was pushing through. He pushed through for you.

[hunterbunter3000]

I think it's also about the way sweetheart touches them. She's gentle with them, which is something rare for absolutely all of them. Sweetheart doesn't assume because they're in the military that they don't need kindness and support and delicate hands. She knows they already think that they don't deserve anything like that so when she sees them wanting it and craving it, she is so willing to give. Her love cup is so full for her team and the people she cares for.

She handles ghost like he's still just Simon Riley, a sad kid deep down. Sweetheart offers up affection that she can just feel is so foreign to him. Yes he can take care of himself but everybody knows it doesn't extend beyond the basics and she takes time to try to heal his aches and pains that he's gotten so used to living with

She's delicate with price, knowing how hard he's worked to keep the team alive and well. How most of the time, he gets no recognition for his efforts. Sure, she teases him and calls him an old man when he complains about his back but in the same breath is offering a massage to get the ever present knot out

She's attentive with soap, hating how he looks like a sad puppy when people try to brush him off as a loud and brash grown up child. She wants him to hold on to that because she knows if it goes away, he'll seem like a shell of himself. She's seen what too long in the field can do to someone like johnny and how it can change them for the worst so she always encourages his jokes and such.

She helps gaz as much as she can. She sees how he pushes himself and how it sometimes ends up in neglect of himself. How many meals has he missed due to trying to just get one more thing done? How many hours of sleep has he skipped to try to figure something out? With a firm hand, she always guides him into taking care of himself and to give himself a much needed break.

IM RAMBLING IM SORRY

AAA NOOO DONT BE SORRY- DONT EVER BE SORRY FOR RAMBLING THIS IS AMAZING 💖✨️✨️💕

(I'm terribly sorry this took so long- BUT GARRICK'S IS PRETTY LONG SO ITS A WIN WIN-)

But holy cow I agree with this so much

Tw: mentions of depression, insecurities, trust issues

I'm really gonna start with Soap because what you said is her biggest fear. She cares deeply for Mactavish and always pays a little bit more attention to him than the others because of that terror.

It would be a nightmare if she didn't see the life in his eyes anymore. Her heart was already broken when her second uncle came back a zombie from being in the army. Didn't talk to anyone, and if he did he would always snap at them. He loved his family still. He really did. But the happiness, and the compassion was gone. He couldn't let go of the guilt, of the regret he had in his choices. He didn't really talk about it, but when he did Sweetheart could see the black tar oozing out of his mouth. All the internal pain and suffering. She doesn't want to see Soap be like that, since their personalities are quite similar. Fun, chipper, determined and kind. She will protect his internal being with everything she has, just like she did with her uncle. So she will always laugh at his jokes and add on to them, making them both double over. She will always stand up for him when someone calls him loud and brash. Telling him it's okay to express yourself how you want to.

If she fails, if she even sees the shine leave his eyes for a second, she knows she failed her uncle again and will never be the same.

--

Now with Ghost-- GOOAAHHHHDDDD he needs all the hugs and cheek kisses he can get (and really just hugs) he doesn't like to be touched unless he knows you knows you (kinda like König and Roach) it took Sweetheart a WHILEE to get close to Ghost. Yes, he did have a small soft spot for her, but he would NOT let her touch him. It took like five months just to let her touch his shoulder. Because of his insane trust issues and paranoia, he didn't let her get close. He couldn't. He couldn't risk getting hurt from Sweetheart. Kind, charming, thoughtful, Sweetheart. Caring, strong, smart, Sweetheart. He craved for her touch so badly that he knew it was what he needed, but he couldn't handle the pain afterward. But there was no pain when she first hugged him when he came out of that explosion alive. There was no pain when she held his hand through his panic attack. There was just warmth. And love. Through every touch she gave him, it spoke of love and care. She gave him time. She gave him so much patience so he could trust her. So he could love her. And he does.

Price-- that man deserves a hundred medals I swear. As you said, he gets no recognition of his effort from anyone, because that's what he's supposed to do. He's supposed to get everyone out alive, he's supposed to succeed everytime. It's just built in the job with that expectation. But Sweetheart knows in order to keep that kind of task going, he needs support. And my god, does she give it to him. Always patting him on the back and saying good job. Checking for any injuries, and if there are, she would fix them. Listening to anything he's talking about and giving her opinions on it. Giving him some tea and something to eat if he's up late. And just giving him any form of affirmation. He deserves it. He deserves all the support, the back rubs, the massages and the teasing, the tea and the naps, all of it. And Price is so grateful for it. If she wasn't there for him, no one would be.

Kyle. Gaz. Garrick. Goodness, that boy has put so many expectations on himself that NO ONE ELSE has put on him. It's weighing him down. Since he's the youngest and has less experience than everyone else, he thinks that he has to catch up to everyone else or be better than them in order for people to see him. See him being one of the members of Task Force 141. The best of the best, right? Like Sweetheart? How she carries herself through chaos, how she handles dire situations, how well she works with others, how physically, mentally, and emotionally strong she is? Can he be skilled like Sweetheart? Calm and collected like Ghost? Well-armed like Soap? He doesn't know. His insecurities are always getting the best of him, making him forget to brush his teeth. Or eat breakfast. Or even get out of bed. Is he even fit to be on this team? Sweetheart knocks on his door. Is he even worthy? She knocks again. He has so much to catch up on. She opens his door. How will he catch up to them? She sighs, walking towards his curled up figure on his bed. He's in their shadow. Maybe he should leave. Sweetheart comes into his view, shocking him. She has a slight concerning face, but more anger than anything. Angry that he hasn't been taking care of himself. Concerned on why he hasn't been taking care of himself. She grabs his hand and brings it to her lips, closing her eyes. His entire body feels warm. Awake. She breathes in and opens her eyes back up. She urges him to get up. Get up and take a shower. His brain says no, but his body is moving subconsciously. She waits outside the Men's Bath Unit until he's done. She waits for him, quite closely, when he's brushing his teeth; Sweetheart tells him not to forget to brush his molars. She waits for him when he dresses himself in clean clothes, still in the same room as him, just turned. She waits for him to finish eating a big breakfast, which he eats fully. All with silence. All with a neutral face. Yet her actions are firm. Caring. Helpful. She sits him down on his now cleaned bed, the help of Sweetheart, and they just... talk. Talk about what's been going on, talk about why he feels this way, and when. It helps. She's giving her opinions on what he can do to be better, but it's up to him to take them. She sighs, eyes studying him. 'I hope I'm not crossing any boundaries with you. But I couldn't sit aside and let you make yourself disappear. Especially when you're valued as a teammate and a friend.' She says. Gaz feels like crying. And he does. He hugs so tightly. Tight enough that she could feel his appreciation through his touch. He's thankful that she saw him. And she continues to see him.