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well, I think that about does it for me.

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In case you're wondering how responsible the US is for every murdered child, aid worker, and civilian in Palestine, it's 70%.

It's as much an American genocide as an Israeli one.

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Your gender is now the first randomized wikipedia article you get. No rerolls.

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*barely contained lust* he is so fucking pathetic.

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#chappell roan: 2, paparazzi: 0

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can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

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Sometimes the world is just silly and strange and you happen to say the exact right thing to the right person.

When I was working at the sex shop we had this one toy by Jimmy Jane. They gave store reps one as a freebie which was genius because we instantly converted to believers after being initially very skeptical.

The toys were small and pretty cute, but no one thought they’d pack much of a punch. The best of the lot looked like one of the little Totoros, two little pink ears sticking up from a rounded body. Unfortunately most customers would say it looked like a tooth.

So one day I’m showing it to a man looking for a gift for his girlfriend. “It has a motor in each ear, and it can pass the vibration back and forth between them. Fully submersible, it’s rechargeable, and really powerful for it size.”

He was just looking at it in intently.

“Are you going to say it looks like a tooth?”

He laughed, “Yes.”

“I get it. Personally I always thought it looks more like a cute rabbit, I’m always tempted to draw googly eyes on it.”

His expression froze and I stopped laughing, wondering what I could have said that so thoroughly checked him. Without a word he slowly reached down into his pocket and pulled something out.

“I think these are for you.”

If he’d had different vibes I wouldn’t have reached out my hand to accept his offering but up to that moment he’d just seemed like an awkward engineer type. I opened my hand to look at what he’d given me.

Two nicely cutout handmade cardboard googly eyes.

I lost it. “Why do you have these?!” I gasped between bursts of laughter.

“I made them! I always keep some on me, because you never know when you’ll see an opportunity to add eyes to something! But I think you should have these.”

I was absolutely delighted and after I rang him up for the toy I decided to tape them to our scanner. I couldn’t put them on the display toy but every time I used the scanner I’d laugh all over again about saying just the right thing to make someone pull handmade googly eyes out of his pocket.

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Been a rough couple days for one of our favorite cats, send Miette some good thoughts.

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Nooo i just saw a TikTok of someone calling their mom a hoarder cause she has a CD collection and going "i can play these faster on an app" and telling her to throw them away BITE BITE BITE BITE KILL KILL KILL KILL if someone said that to me i would rip them apart with my teeth i would burn them alive the violence that would take place would be unimaginable i would be an unleashed demon hungry for blood and meat. unimaginable horrors. death and destruction. killing. maiming. no one could survive that. it would be a nuclear apocalypse. leave the fucking CDs alone

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Saddest thing ever is reading an academic paper about a threatened or declining species where you can tell the author is really trying to come up with ways the animal could hypothetically be useful to humans in a desperate attempt to get someone to care. Nobody gives a shit about the animals that “don’t affect” us and it seriously breaks my heart

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the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

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hi friends.

Dragon Age: The Veilguard releases in three days. I do not know who I'll be as a person once it does. I've been waiting for this game to come out for a decade so I might be slightly, uh, feral? and my posts might reflect that for a bit. It'll simmer down eventually, just... gimme a minute to bask.

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told them i’m into overstim and they confiscated my noise canceling headphones and took me to the grocery store

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Spin the 17th century death wheel and tell me how you died in the tags

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Regardless of your gender or sexuality, reblog this and tag your most hetero male trait. Mine is either obsessing over my Altima or sitting around watching TV shows about air disasters.

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[link]

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Ship trope I'd love to see more of: "Are we in love? I mean, yeah, probably, but that's a problem for future us. Right now we're just trying to make it through the Plot."