#i have never felt like throwing up thinking about fictional characters except in their case

[frostbitesjc]

what if someone cut my body open and pulled my soul out and saw scars where my heart should be. what if they asked what could have done something so irrevocable. what if they find out it’s because of these 2 gay fictional characters my mind refuses to stop thinking about. what if

[youreallyshouldtalkmore]

This Old Dragon

A.N: I think this might be an SAGAU of some kind? I dunno! Lantern Rite fed me well with new Zhongli content + Husbando/Reverse Harem feels+ Cute/Fluff = whatever this is.  

Genshin Impact MasterList  

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Something tickled your cheek. 

The softest of caresses making you sigh. 

A distant chuckle faded into your ears as you hugged the pillow tighter. 

The soft, repeated motion over your cheek had your eyelids fluttering open. Amber eyes laughed at your, “Good morning, dear.” 

“Zhongli….” your voice was husky from sleep. 

He sat at the edge of your bed, his had cupping your cheek. He gave a lingering rub making you turn into it, with a small sigh. His hand drifted down, towards your upturned shoulder, pulling the covers up, even as his words convinced you to left the nest that was your bed, “Come dear, you should wake now. Too much sleep is not good.” 

You closed your eyes with a sigh, “I’m just tired today.” 

“Memories about your world?” 

“......I suppose.” 

His hand returned to your cheek, cupping it. You could feel the warmth of his hand and turned to it. Tears pricked behind your eyes. 

When was the last time you had felt this kind of warmth in your world?  

To you, it seemed cold beyond belief. 

There was no one there. 

No one except the characters in a game called Genshin Impact. 

You had spent so much time, playing in the world of Teyvat. Your favorite characters were mostly Husbando characters. Being completely F2P, you were ecstatic when you finally got your first 5 star character: Zhongli. 

How many times, did you turn on the game to run around with him in your party? 

How many times did you speak of your sorrows and woes? 

How many times did the character of Zhongli listen, heart tugged at the loneliness in your voice? 

What you didn’t know, that on the other side of the screen, the world of Teyvat, was a real world. 

“I wish I could be there.” you would murmur. The rotation of husbandos switched, but Zhongli was a constant. 

A rock. 

But who knew that someone was listening to your wish, that you ended up in the very world that you had longed to be in? 

A world, were your fictional husbandos, all knew about you and ushered you among them. 

“Come on, Y/N. I will give you 10 minutes.” Zhongli’s voice was gentle even with the warning. 

You gave an unintelligible answer that had Zhongli pausing. Should he really be giving you 10 minutes even? Sometimes he feared you slept too much. When you were in your world, shortly before you came to Teyvat, you had begun to open the game and leave it on, while you slept.

“So I can feel I’m not alone…”, you had stated to the screen once. 

You had only been in Teyvat for a few months. The pain of the life in your world, would not fade in mere months but they could be there. 

Quietly, he stood and walked out of your room, pulling the door quietly behind him. Due to your special case, you were granted a Serenitea Teapot, despite not being a vision bearer or fighter like the Traveler. 

__ __  __ __

You turned over on your back, throwing an arm over to shield your eyes. You really ought to get up. You were pretty sure you were close if not over the 10 minute mark. You knew it was past time when the door opened unceremoniously. 

You heard a bit of rattling around before the bed dipped again. 

“Come, I have your breakfast.” 

You lowered your arm from your eyes to see concerned amber ones. After moment, you slid your gaze away. It was difficult to look into his eyes for a long period of time. You had never seen such concern directed towards you lke that. 

It warmed you but you weren’t used to it. 

Zhongli turned away, “Come…” 

Zhongli helped you out of bed reaching for the comfy robe to wrap you end. His hands were slow as he tied up the sash, giving you time to gaze at him. He was a fair bit taller than you even though his head was dipped down focus on the sash of your robe.

Only when he was done did his eyes flicker to yours. 

Your slid away again. 

A soft chuckle followed as he reached a hand behind your head and kissed your forehead. 

“Ahh, you are still shy after all this time?”

He didn’t wait or expect a reply as his hand hovered over your back as you made your way to the small table in the room. It became set up especially for this, as there were days making it downstairs was a chore before breakfast. 

And you loathed eating in bed. 

You found it a disgusting habit and would never allow yourself to do that. The first time Zhongli brought your meal to you in bed, you made yourself go downstairs. 

Hence why a table had been moved to the bedroom. 

As you began munching on a piece of toast, Zhongli poured you a cup of tea, “This kind of tea will give you a bit of energy. Do not worry, it shouldn’t wire you up, only to take the edge of the lethargy.” 

Something you really needed. 

Even now, you found it hard to focus, “Ahh, thank you, Zhongli.” 

Zhongli gave a brillant smile, “Of course, my dear.” 

Once the last drop of tea hit the cup, he placed the teapot down as you reached for an apple slice. Venti had sent these batch of particular apples, claiming them to be the best to share with his Windblume. 

You felt more than saw Zhongli move but didn’t realize what he was doing until you looked over to him, and down at him. 

You almost spat out your tea. 

“Wh-what are you doing? Get up!!” you called out. 

Zhongli only smiled up at you, as he sat next to you on the floor, placing his arms on your lap. You froze. What the devil was he doing? 

“Allow this old dragon his pleasure……..Mistress.” 

His voice fairly purred as he turned his head, nuzzling his cheek into your leg. Without looking at you, his spoke, “Continue to eat your fill, my dear.” 

How could you concentrate on food when he was pulling….whatever stunt this was? You couldn’t tell if you were uncomfortable or warmed at this. 

Was it okay to feel both? 

You had to force yourself to return to your food, hyper aware of Zhongli’s presence. You reached for a slice of Zaytun Peach. Tighnari had cautioned to only eat a few raw slices every once in awhile. Despite being sweet, it did have medicinal properties allowing a calming effect on the mind. 

Your mind vaguely darted towards dinner. What would be served tonight? Unlike Zhongli, you loved seafood. Perhaps Curry Shrimp would be served? Equally, you loved mushrooms as well. Perhaps Mushroom Hodgepodge would be served? Or Mushroom Pizza? Tighnari was only too happy to start throwing together meals, often adding herbs for your health. 

You thought about this as you turned to your Miso Soup. 

Your eyes darted down to the top of Zhongli’s head. Your fingers twitched. 

“You can pet my head, if you wish.” 

You almost jumped. 

How the...?” 

Zhongli chuckled, without moving from his comfortable postion, cheek on your leg, facing forward. “In fact, Mistress, I would be quite honored if you would pet this old dragon’s head.” 

It took you a minute to accept the permission before you tentatively reached down and placed a hand on his head. Then you began to card your fingers through his long brown locks. 

This was soothing even for you. 

How odd was that? 

You felt Zhongli nuzzle his cheek into your knee, moving once to place a chaste kiss upon it before laying his cheek back down. 

Your eyes darted back and forth at this. His cheek had already warmed a spot on your leg but the chaste kiss made it more so. 

But not for the first time, curiousity rose within you. 

“.....Zhongli?”

“Hm?” 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course, you may.” 

“It’s about your time as Rex Lapis. I don’t want to upset you. You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.” 

Zhongli turned his head to look up at you, peaking at you from his arms on your leg, “I shall let you know if I do not wish to venture down that path but we will not know unless you ask. What is your question?” 

Now that you had his full attention, you grew hesistant, your eyes sliding away from his, “It’s just, this was a game for me in my world, as you know. There is only so much information that had been given to us at the time of my coming here.” 

“Hm.” 

“....so it was never quite clear. Even though....” you stopped yourself from talking about the fanfiction, you had read. Shaking your head you asked, “....do you still maintan the ability to have some of your dragon characteristics? I mean like the horns, tail, golden arms....?” 

Zhongli laughed once, “Ahh, that is your question? I never would have imagined. Please look at me.” 

You looked down at him. 

“Would you like to find out?” 

“Zhongli!” Your eyes slid away from him once more. 

Laughter once again filled the air, “Well, in a manner of speaking, I can, but I cannot maintain that form as I once did. I could even turn into a full bloodied dragon but that requires too much energy on my part now.” 

You looked down at him as he continued, your hand absently playing with his locks, “So it’s reduced to those characteristics but even they have a time limit. However, I still maintain the instinct of a dragon.” 

He paused dramatically, making you stare at him curiously. 

When he said nothing else, although his eyes twinkled, you rolled your own and asked, “For example?” 

“....For example....” Zhongli’s voice dipped once, “....the desire to care for one’s mate.” 

If you had tea in your mouth you would have spat it out, as such you choked on your own tongue.

Reaching out to take a bite of fruit, you did not want, you nibbled as you murmured, “Please don’t tease me, Zhongli.” 

Zhongli’s eyebrow’s raised, “When did I do that?” 

You glared down at him once. 

Comfortable silence drifted as you finished and began slowing down. Zhongli finally stood up, “Done?” 

You nodded. 

“Good, I will allow you to freshen up and then we’ll take a walk around. I think the fresh air will do you some good.” Zhongli stated piling everything onto the tray and walking out with narry a backwards glance. 

With some food in you, you felt strangely enegerized. After you freshened up and changed into clothes you walked downstairs. You could hear the gentle waves of Cool Isle of your SereniteaTeapot. 

Zhongli opened the door, allowing you to pass through first. Once outside you could’t help but to breathe deeply with a contented sigh. The ex-Geo archon offered his arm with a small smile as you took it, ducking your head to hide your own. 

The two of you walked languidly down the pathway towards to the shore. You saw the small tent area on the beach and looked up questioningly. 

“Come…” Zhongli smiled as he turned and lead you towards it. 

You couldn’t help the small squeal as you saw a multitude of pillows, making you almost dive into them. 

Zhongli laughed, “Comfy?” 

You nodded, looking at a pile of random junk sitting on a low table besides the tent.

“Alhaitham sent some of the books. Book are not for frivolous pleasure for him he says but he thought you would enjoy them. “ Zhongli began to explain, “The TCG box is from Cyno. Those grapes are from Diluc. And Kaeya wishes to know when he can come over. Apparently guarding you on your journey sounds far more entertaining than any of the usual Favonius stuff.” 

You head bobbed, “He should join the Traveler if he’s looking for adventure. I’m  sure my journey isn’t worth guarding.” 

Zhongli reached over and tilted your chin, “Per the contrary, although you are not fighting and traveling, you have your own journey that is worth every bit as much as the Traveler’s. Do not make the mistake to dismiss those who only have your good intentions at heart.” 

It took you a moment to process Zhongli’s words,“...I’m sorry. That was wasn’t my intention. If Kaeya wishes to come over, of course he can.” 

Zhongli reached out and kissed your cheek, his lips lingering, “Don’t forget, my dear. We are yours. We’ve been yours since you got us in the game. Naturally, we’ve all grown fond of you and wish to spend time with you. I believe since you were brought here to us, you will eventually thrive and find joy in life again.”

He pulled back, cupping both of your cheeks. This thumb ran over your cheekbone as tears glittered in your eyes at his words, “I swear it will be so. One day, you will look back and see how much progress you have made. And you won’t be alone. That will be reason enough to smile, no?” 

Your eyelashes fanned your cheek as you closed your eyes, “More than enough.”

Zhongli pulled back, allowing the emotional moment to relapse. Something you were grateful for, as it allowed you to gather yourself.  The grapes caught your eye and you reached over, to snatch one, popping it into your mouth. They were good. 

You perused the stack of books. Alhaitham always claimed the books were not just for frivolous pleasure and yet how many times did you find yourself in his embrace as he read whatever book you wanted to you?

You picked up a book. 

This looked liked a light novel from Yae Miko Publishing House. How would Althaitham think you would like this if he hadn’t at least checked it out for himself? 

You handed the book to Zhongli who had settled next to you. 

“That time I reincarnated into a Seelie. I had heard about this, that it was, how does the young ones say, ‘cute fluff overload?’. Perhaps this a perfect book for this afternoon. Shall we find out?” 

You nodded with a huge smile before Zhongli wrapped and arm around you, allowing you to lean into him as he cracked open the book. 

“When I woke up, I was floating high in the sky….” 

__ __  __ __

A.N: Because I originally wanted this to be some kind of Reverse Harem/Husbando story but that wasn’t working. The dragon wanted to drive this story, and everybody and I mean, EVERYBODY moves out the way in my house for my husbando Zhongli. 

As such, I really like whatever this Venti/You exchange was, so I’m posting it as a bonus: 

After Zhongli had gone out of your room….. 

You turned over on your back, throwing an arm over to shield your eyes. You really ought to get up. You were pretty sure you were close if not over the 10 minute mark. You knew it was past time when the door opened unceremoniously. 

“Ohh, Windblume….tis too fair a day to be sleeping in!” 

“I’m getting up! I’m getting up!!” you called out. 

You weren’t moving. 

You felt the bed shift as an arm snaked around your stomach, a soft voice whispering, “Does it hurt much?” 

You lowered your arm to see Venti’s green orbs gazing down at you.  He leaned down, resting his head on your shoulder, “Would you like me to accompany you today? We can just stay like this all day. Although, Zhongli will kill me.” He raised his head to grin at you, “He sent me to wake you up, not join you.” 

The produced at quirk of your lips followed by a small giggle. 

“Ahh, to see a fair maiden laugh so, is a muse to this humble bard.” 

You really laughed then, “I’m getting up!” 

You really moved then. 

[themusiichouse]

Felix for What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? - @theload​ 

(Throwing in his sister too bc I felt like it owo)

In the real world, there’s no one image that Judaism puts forth for the afterlife. In my fictional world, though, where afterlives are a confirmed thing, for the Eldish afterlife I kinda have no choice but to pick what I like from those images and stick to it. Felix and his sister Fanny would have gone through the Eldish afterlife before reincarnating, and the experience left a deep impression on them that they still think about to this day.

Fun fact about the historical Mendelssohns--they were actually Christian by religion, though Jewish by ethnicity. In my original setting, that means they were Narsean by religion though they were Eldonai by ethnicity. However, since Narseism is literally a violent genocidal cult whose sole purpose is to convert everyone to it and wipe out anyone who chooses not to follow its creed, El often intervenes in Narsean afterlives, especially those who are inherently spiritually connected to him like Elds. (It’s something personal for him, because he is the deity that Narseus tries to impersonate.) Such was the case with Felix and Fanny, who were sent to the Narsean Hell simply because they failed to follow Narseus’ biggest rule: the only way to get into Heaven is to “spread My holy word,” aka try to convert other people to the violent genocidal death cult. Felix and Fanny did not really do that, since they were wrapped up in their music. (Many Narseans are normal people who are seriously misguided about the nature and purpose of their religion because Narseus never actually wrote in his scriptures he wanted people to commit genocide in his name, he just kept it vague so he would have plausible deniability while secretly instructing his leaders that genocide was what he wanted; Felix and Fanny were some of those misguided people.) So, in spite of the fact they were good people who really did nothing wrong, they were condemned.

When El fished them out of Narsean Hell, he gave them a choice. He could either let them go to an afterlife for those who were not tied to any gods, or they could rejoin their ancestors in the Eldish afterlife. Both chose to go to the Eldish afterlife, though they were told of one hurdle that they’d have to pass through: a purification process. There is a line of Jewish thought in which to access the afterlife, everyone except the most righteous souls would have to be purified. To do so, the souls would be made to look back at their actions in life--which is painful for any soul who has done something wrong in their lives, but the pain is necessary so that they can understand what they have done wrong and move on. Well, Felix and Fanny were good people, so it wasn’t too awful for them…But one thing did cause them a great deal of pain, and it was when they were shown the truth about the Narsean religion their father had converted to, shown that everything they had lived for religiously in their lives was a lie. I mean, they had already started thinking that there was something seriously wrong with Narseism when they were in Narsean Hell, but the experience being purified made them fully come to terms with it on a much spiritually deeper level. It’s still something they think about that guides their actions in day-to-day life, to live their lives in a virtuous and healthily skeptical way so that when they pass into the void again, they don’t experience once more the agony of that reckoning.

[aussie-tea]

how is s*ylvie not a mary sue?

I have been waiting YEARS for this question. (Well not years because Loki only came out (😉) like mere months ago, but you know what I mean).

To start off here's a definition of a "Mary Sue" so we are all on the same page.

Mary Sue: A Mary Sue is a type of fictional character, usually a young woman, who is portrayed as unrealistically free of weaknesses.

Now, the reason I was so excited to finally get a chance to answer this is because when there's a character I really love, the only thing I love to talk about more than their strengths is their flaws and weaknesses.

Because ALL good characters have them, and, to me, they just add to the loveability of the character. And Sylvie, despite what many people are saying, is certainly not an exception.

One of the first flaws we notice about Sylvie is actually shown before we fully meet her. She is shown about twice in her first three main scenes that she is not the best strategist.

Although Sylvie is well versed in quick decision-making from her life on the run, she is still quite prone to errors in judgment. She gave the little French child a piece of candy which was a HUGE clue to her hideout which, ultimately, lead Loki and TVA to Roxxcart.

Sylvie would have known that the TVA would have searched the cathedral after she attacked that group of minutemen, and thus, would have easily found the child and the obviously period-inaccurate sweets.

The only thing I can think of to explain her actions was that the child caught her in the act, she worried they would spill the beans, gave the child candy to shut it up. A quick decision that didn't end up working in her favour.

Sylvie's poor strategies and planning are also shown WHEN SHE CLEARLY DIDN'T CHARGE HER TEMPAD FOR HER YEARS-IN-THE-MAKING-PLAN.

It's possible that the TemPad was only charged for the amount of trips Sylvie thought she would need. Hence, only one more trip out of the TVA after killing the Time Keepers. But even if this was the case, it shows an incredible lack of preparation on her part if things did go awry.

This is one of the most interesting things about Sylvie that I really love; she seems to genuinely lack good strategist and sly behaviour. This hugely sets Sylvie apart from the most recognizable trait of our original Loki.

Apart from the finale, she is rarely deceptive when trying to achieve her goals. She doesn't ever try to pretend to be on the TVA's side, or charm her way in, or disguise herself as a minuteman.

No. Instead, she goes for the classic warrior approach; distract the enemy, and then use brute force to get to the Time Keeper's chamber and kill them.

TALK about under-prepared; homegirl legit at the time of her attack didn't even know that her powers were useless inside the TVA.

I think Loki puts it perfectly:

Sylvie isn't a good strategist. At least, not to the same extent Loki is. She's a fighter and often relies solely on physical skills to achieve her goals, often to her failure.

From this, we can deduct that Sylvie is impatient, reckless to a fault, and, often, idealistic about how her plans should work out. despite obviously not putting too much thought into them im sorry sylvie i love you but not knowing your magic wouldn't work in the tva is something i cant forgive.

These qualities (impatient, reckless, and idealistic) also weave themselves into her fighting style. I firstly want to be clear that I LOVE SYLVIE'S FIGHTING STYLE. Seriously, it's one of my favourite things about her.

Sylvie's a brawler, which is a product of obviously never being professionally trained like almost all our other MCU characters. What she knows, she's learnt on the street, her own personal battlefield.

However, a flaw of this is that she's is not as swift and quick on her feet as other character's like Loki.

[Two gifs are pictured above.]

[First gif: Sylvie takes a swing at Loki with her sword. He dodges her attempt and locks her arms behind her back. Second gif: Sylvie lifts her foot to kick Ravonna, who grabs her leg and throws her to the ground.]

Both gifs above picture moments in this six-episode show where Sylvie uses her full body towards this one move. These moves leave her horrendously open to her opponents' advances, which ultimately leads to her being briefly overpowered in each fight.

The last point I'll make is, admittedly, a little bit of a sneaky cheat as I mention one of Sylvie's strengths, her perceptiveness, but I love this parallel so much I couldn't not include it.

So we all remember the kiss scene. Sylvie used Loki's emotions as a distraction so that she can get the upper hand in the fight. (Clarification: I do not believe the kiss was meaningless to Sylvie but I do also believe that one of the intentions with the kiss was for it to be used as a distraction.)

The thing is, how did Sylvie know that this would work on Loki? She's already known him to be incredibly aware of his surroundings and virtually impossible to trick.

The answer: she knows he's a Loki. And she knows she's a Loki. She knows that Lokis have a tendency to get easily distracted by their emotions which can cause them to lose focus of their surrounding.

How does she know that? Because it's happened to her before.

It's canon, Sylvie knew the kiss would distract Loki because she knew he would feel the same way she felt when he comforted her in the Time-Keepers' chamber which thus made her blissfully unaware of Ravonna approaching.

All in all, Sylvie does have beautiful flaws and we love her for it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Now, someone play John Legend's 'All of Me';

'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections

[shihalyfie]

Would would you say the similarity and differences are between Taichi and Takuya? (Since I've seen a lot of negative comparisons between the Adventure and Frontier cast and I'm curious with your thoughts on that)

One thing I really gripe about when it comes to the way people tend to approach the Frontier characters and compare them to those of other series is that, since Frontier is (unabashedly so) far more of a "conventional" series than the three before it, somehow that makes it and its characters worse or lacking in depth. Not at all! Firstly, there's pretty good reason to do something like this; the Adventure and 02 characters being a bit too unconventional means that you're still getting people who struggle with understanding their behavior patterns and blaming anything that doesn't "seem consistent" (actually "doesn't fall into neat fiction patterns") on "bad character writing", so Frontier being a bit more trope-y is probably just to make it a bit easier to understand the characters' progression. Moreover, even conventional tropes often have some root in reality; sure, Tomoki being a child who gets emotionally overwhelmed and cries more often may definitely seem "too conventional" compared to Takeru or Iori, but, uh...that's also extremely accurate to how a lot of real kids his age would behave. Many different kinds of kids exist! Representing all of them at once is hard!

At first glance, yes, the Frontier characters fall closer into the usual tropes (especially Super Sentai ones), but when we're talking about Digimon under Seki, it's never just been about what the characters look like at first glance but also the little nuances that they don't always put in words. The Frontier characters have a surprising amount of depth if you're willing to sit down and look at the little things, how they behave in different situations, what their motivations are for doing what they do, and while I don't think they go nearly as deep as Adventure or 02 do in this regard, it's not because I think Frontier was inherently lacking in this but because Adventure and 02 were just that level of ridiculous in terms of bias towards character writing (at occasional detriment to other aspects). Kind of unfair to expect everything else to go that far. So if we're talking about characters with this level of depth, I'd put it in between Adventure/02 and Tamers in terms of fleshing characters out this deeply. (No, I don’t actually think the Tamers characters are as "deep" as they're often claimed to be; they're just less subtle. No, that does not mean I think that's an inherently better or worse thing, given how I've always referred to this kind of thing as a double-edged sword.)

Rant aside! (Sorry, it's a bit of a long-standing point of frustration I've had with how Frontier constantly gets treated.) I think Takuya is definitely more "conventional" of a typical shounen protagonist than Taichi is, being more impulsive, hot-headed, and occasionally belligerent; Taichi was "impulsive" in the sense that he was kind of playing things by ear and could sometimes even be too chill, because his focus was often too much on the big picture instead of what was in front of him, whereas Takuya definitely comes off as the type who defaults to more aggressive solutions for the most part. However, one of the first things they point out very, very early is that Takuya's actually an older brother -- he's had to take responsibility for Shinya in the past, and it also reflects in how he handles Tomoki (and how Tomoki immediately senses that into him and latches onto him most as a surrogate older brother). While Takuya, being a bit of a misfit, isn't necessarily perfect in the role, he shares this trait with Taichi, and in fact, much like Taichi, his tendency for sometimes being insensitive or being too aggressive isn't because he's callous or doesn't care about others -- he is empathetic, he does hear others out, and he doesn't fight people for the sheer sake of fighting them but because he simply happens to disagree with others (mostly Kouji) in terms of the best way to approach things.

One thing that's really interesting about Frontier is how it starts off its cast as outright misfits; Adventure and 02's cast was made up of fundamentally selfless people, and Tamers had a cast that kinda got dragged into the whole affair, but Frontier starts off with a cast that practically seems taken out of a detention hall. The kids start off very shallow, self-centered, and not taking the concept of throwing themselves into an adventure seriously; in fact, you get the impression they took it on so easily because of how out-of-place they felt in the real world, and their adventure allows them to understand what they need to change about themselves. Given that, while Takuya didn't seem to be much of an outcast in comparison, you still get the impression he was a bit of a misfit like the others. Interestingly, as of the most recent drama CD, Takuya remains our only currently known Digimon protagonist to seriously pursue soccer beyond hobby purposes, and there's something quite fitting about that; Taichi's position in soccer was mainly meant to indicate his position as a "leader" and "someone who brings people together", and Daisuke wasn't even implied to be particularly exceptional in soccer anyway, with it having more pertinence to his relationships with Taichi and eventually Ken. In the case of Takuya, him actually enjoying the sport enough to take it seriously to the point of a career implies a genuine, unfiltered passion for what he does, that he does enjoy the thrill of climbing ranks (and for a team sport, at that), and...also, that his "aggressiveness" is actually him having a lot of boundless energy and passion that needs some kind of outlet, rather than him actively being belligerent purely for the sake of blowing things up.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

You guys are good - I never noticed the Starstruck James/Ben inspiration but rewatching those eps now I see it. With that in mind, the lazer tag scene in the finale felt like it must have been particularly cathartic for Rose to write. With James having spoken so much about their relationship and breakup in his work, it must have felt so good for Rose to finally say her piece and get some of that off her chest.

I think you're right, though I don't think it's a case of everything being that clear. James Acaster wrote in his non-fiction memoir about a woman from New Zealand whom he dated for several years between 2014 and the beginning of 2017 and he first met her when he visited NZ... he didn't use her name but he may as well have. That was very clearly him writing about that relationship as it actually happened, and I don't think Rose has ever done anything like that.

Rose Matafeo wrote a fictional sitcom, starring a character played by herself but clearly not meant to be her except on a few loose details. Rose Matafeo doesn't work at a cinema or a flower shop and I don't think she's ever dated a very famous movie star and there is no way she's ever walked into a room wearing a tuxedo and had people say she looks anything less than stunningly gorgeous. I don't think Starstruck is the same as other sitcoms that are based on fictionalized versions of the writer/star, like Feel Good or Grandma's House or Josh or Not Going Out (it's weird to put all those together since they're wildly different shows, but they all have in common that the star/creator does not try to hide the fact that the character they play is based on themselves, down to keeping the same name). She wrote a story about a fictional character and is telling it.

But there are a few similarities, like her roommate from the show being played by her real-life roommate, and the character also having moved from NZ to England as an adult, and that move being related to having a boyfriend in England with whom things did not work out. She mentioned that in season 1, and then in season 2 the ex-boyfriend actually showed up, and said ex-boyfriend has a few traits that seem not dissimilar to type of guy James Acaster appears to be. So, I think it's reasonable to assume there was some inspiration there.

I feel like I should make the distinction because I've said before that I don't like how much James has written and talked publicly about his relationship with Rose, not just the fact that it happened but the details of their breakup and how much it upset him, because that's going to affect how people see her in her own public career. I don't think she's done that, it's a fictional show. I'm sure plenty about the ex-boyfriend character is invented, like her job at the cinema and her world famous movie star boyfriend (I mean, if that last element isn't invented, then Rose has done a much better job than I've given her credit for of keeping her private life private).

But... yeah, I bet some of it's real. And I agree with you that she's mostly been the responsible one in not making books and stand-up shows and interviews about specifics of her relationship with another public figure when he keeps talking about her, so I can't blame her if she did throw in some real-life elements to a fictional show, and hopefully get some catharsis and enjoyment out of doing so.

[scripts4dreamers]

I literally JUST sat down, pt. 1

Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven

AN: Nuh uh, nope. Not this again. You did not sign up for this.  Characters: Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, Jennifer Jareau, David Rossi. Pairings: Spencer Reid x reader Spoilers: None Warnings: Mentions of crime and violence, alcohol, eventual NSFW content

Prompt: After watching 7x07 “This episode is so scary man... Imagine just doing your job which is pretty morbid at times but oh well and then suddenly you have to go to this place where there's a lot of tornadoes and you're like well at least I'm inside and safe and then your boss is like "we gotta go right to these tornado places lol" and then you think "well that's scary but at least we have this handy dandy live map showing us exactly in real time where the tornadoes are so we'll be fine and then the internet is like "haha nope have fun dying in a tornado" 

- @pirateismywayofspeaking​ who is a literal genius.

This will be a multichapter piece! So lemme know if you want to be tagged in subsequent chapters. 

—————————-

Usually, when terrible things happen, people say the same few things: “I never thought it would happen to me! You never think something like this will happen to you until it does!”. You’d never really been that type of person. You were naturally cautious, and an ex FBI agent, you saw danger pretty much everywhere. You’d seen some of the worst things human beings could ever do to one another and, if you’d learned anything at all, it was that bad things happened everywhere and to pretty much everyone. There was nowhere that you could definitively say was safe from violent crime, but this was just ridiculous.

You looked around the ruined bookshop you’d poured the last year of your life into with a kind of detached sadness. Even before you opened the door, you could see the carnage. The shelves were upended, tables flipped, every vase in the building was smashed...except one. You sighed, stepping into the store, your eyes scanning the wreck with a practiced efficiency. No broken windows, the door was still locked when you’d arrived and your security cameras were blacked out, there were no signs of forced entry. If anything that made you more uneasy and, not for the first time since you’d left the bureau, you missed the weight of your gun against your hip. You crinkled your nose against the smell, the copper-iron of fresh blood that you were all too familiar with as you crept through your store.

“Son of a-fuck!” You swore loudly, cursing your luck as you took in the scene.

There was a body laid out in the middle of the Fiction aisle: face covered with a burlap sack, wrists and ankles bound with rope and blood seeping into the carpets you’d just had cleaned. Your training kicked in and you noticed, without meaning to, that the rest of the aisle was untouched. The shelves were upright, books in order, even the vase of white roses you’d put there the night before were all completely the way you’d left them. It was like he’d just completely bypassed the entire section.

Huh.

You looked up at the sky, “Really? Right now? You throw this at me, now? Unbelievable.”

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of your chest, along with a nervousness that you were telling yourself was irritation as you pulled out your phone. It had been a long while since you’d done this, but you still knew the number by heart.

“This is agent Jareau with the Behavioural Analysis Unit.”

“JJ, it’s me,” you said, “you’re not gonna believe this.”

——————————

You sat in the ruins of your store until the cops arrived, wondering who exactly you had murdered in a past life to end up with this kind of luck. You gave your statement without much incident, directing CSU to the body and alerting the detective to the abnormalities you’d spotted.

JJ had promised to get the team on the case as quickly as she could, and you knew JJ tended to get exactly what she wanted in that regard, you just didn’t know how you felt about that. It had been over a year since you’d left the BAU, since you’d done one case too many and just got fed all the way up. It really wasn’t any deeper than that. One day you’d come home and found that you couldn’t sleep. It had all just become too much, so you packed up your stuff, tendered your resignation, and started over.

It had been hard at first, but now you owned a fairly successful bookstore with a little coffee shop where you sold good coffee, and homemade biscuits. And it was nice. You felt good, kinda. You definitely slept better at night. Your life was finally starting to feel normal and now this? A dead body just happens to appear in the center of your bookstore in just weird enough a way to warrant a call to the BAU? No, you’d seen too much to consider this a coincidence. Whether you liked it or not, you were about to get thrown back into your old life head first, the life you’d worked so hard to get some distance from. So why weren’t you more...upset?

“Y/L/N?” A familiar voice called.

“In here,” you answered, your voice raspy from disuse. You cleared your throat and pushed yourself up onto your feet, “I’m in here.” You tried again.

The figures who stepped in were painfully familiar and you couldn’t help the tired smile that slid onto your face, your eyes going directly to the blonde woman walking at the very front.

“Y/N!” She greeted, her voice dripping with relief as she pulled you into a hug, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, JJ,” you assured her as you broke apart, the rest of your old team filing in behind her.

She eyed you like she wasn’t sure, pressing her lips into a thin line as she looked around the trashed store. Derek Morgan swooped in behind her, giving you a second hug.

“Long time, Y/L/N,” he smiled.

You sighed, “Wish it was under better circumstances, Morgs, but I’m glad you guys are here.”

“Y/L/N,” Aaron Hotchner greeted, giving you a firm handshake.

“Thanks for coming, Hotch, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.” You admitted.

“No, you made the right call. The BAU has officially taken on the case. Reid, Prentiss and Rossi are coordinating with the local PD from our headquarters, the rest of us are here to help,” he said, pausing and meeting your eye, silently asking the question you’d been waiting all morning for.

“No sign of forced entry,” you started, “the front door was still locked from the outside when I arrived.” You walked him through the crime scene, glass crunching beneath your feet as you went, “It looks like someone sprayed black paint over the security cameras I had installed, everything’s been smashed but there’s no cash missing from the register. In fact, they barely touched the front desk at all.” You explained, “And this,” you gestured at the Fiction aisle, “is where I found the body.”

Morgan stepped forward and, just like that, the team moved like a well oiled machine.

“White male, looks like he’s between the ages of 19 and 27.” Morgan started.

“His wrists and ankles are bound, but it doesn’t look like he struggled against his restraints at all,” you cut in, without meaning to, crouching down beside the body, “it could mean he was tied up postmortem.”

“We’ll have to wait on the M.E’s report to know for sure,” Hotch agreed, “Y/L/N, can I talk to you?” You nodded and let him pull you aside. He glanced over your shoulder and lowered his voice, “I know you’re out and we can do this investigation without you-“

“But?” You probed.

The corners of Hotch’s mouth twitched, like he wanted to smile, “But, I would also welcome your help if you’re willing to give it. The team is still a man down and, something about this scene has me thinking-“

“That whoever did this isn’t finished,” you agreed, sighing as you ran your fingers through your hair.

Everything was so messed up in your head. You just wanted to go back to bed and start this day all over again. Hotch looked at you and you recognized his brand of quiet concern. It was familiar and comforting, and it helped you process your thoughts.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” you frowned, “yeah. Yeah, sure, I’ll come back.” Hotch smiled and you wagged a finger at him, “But just for this one case! After that I’m straight back to my boring normal person life, alright?”

“Of course,” he agreed, something almost mocking in his tone.

“I’m serious, Hotch, just one more case.”

“I’m agreeing with you!” He insisted, already walking back to the rest of the group.

But he wasn’t and, much to your chagrin, you felt the familiar rush of adrenaline as you turned back to the scene of the crime.

“Hotch, Y/L/N,” Morgan called, holding something in his gloved hand, “you’re gonna want to see this.”

“Here we go again,” you sighed.

————————-

Walking back into the BAU had felt like stepping back in time. After you’d gotten everything you could from the crime scene there was nothing to do but brainstorm, but walking through those doors again...well, let’s say you hadn’t been prepared for how it would feel being back. For the most part, everyone had been glad to see you, especially Garcia, but you could tell that there were still some resentments bubbling under the surface. It made sense, the BAU survived by relying on one another, by acting like a family, and you’d left that family.

Still, there was a rhythm to this kind of work, a flow that was almost painfully easy to fall back into. You’d worked together for years after all, bouncing ideas off of one another like it was nothing and that kind of bond didn’t just go away.

“Admit it,” Derek teased, bumping your shoulder with his as you studied the evidence board, “you missed this.”

“I most certainly did not.”

“Oh you so did,” Spencer agreed, leaning against the table next to you and giving you a fond smile, “I’m sorry about the bookstore though, it was the only store in town with a proper selection of classics in their original languages.”

You shrugged, “I’ll get it up and running again soon enough, just as soon as we catch whoever did this.”

“Speaking of our UnSub, what do you think the relevance of him leaving the body in the fiction section is?” Spencer asked.

“Maybe he’s trying to say that this is some kind of fairytale?” Prentiss suggested, “Like he’s trying to draw us into his story?”

“Maybe, but this has gotta be more personal than that, right?” Morgan said, “I mean, this isn’t some body in an alley, it was dumped in an FBI agent’s coffee shop.”

“Ex agent,” you corrected.

“Sure thing, Princess,” Morgan teased.

“Why does everyone keep talking like that?” You asked.

“Because you leaving is ridiculous. You love this job,” He replied simply, “you’ve always loved this job.”

You opened your mouth to respond but, before you could, you heard the clacking of heels against the marble floor.

“Um, guys?” Garcia said, coming into the bullpen with a stormy look on her face, “we just got word from the officer who went to Y/N’s apartment.”

“And?” You asked nervously.

“They found something,”

“Another body?” Prentiss asked.

“No, weirder, a letter and what looks like a smiley face drawn on the wall in blood.” She said, pressing a button to display the new crime scene photos on the big screen.

Your heart froze in your chest.

There it was; a crude smiley face drawn right above your headboard and a crisp white envelope resting against your pillow. He’d made your bed too, some small part of your mind noted. How polite. Instinctively, you crossed your arms over your chest as you were hit with a mixture of panic and disgust.

“Of course,” you sighed, “of course there is. Why wouldn’t there be? It’s been that kind of day.”

“Do we know what the letter says?” Morgan asked.

Garcia nodded, “And it’s a doozy. The letter contains a poem written with letters cut out from magazines and newspapers. It reads:

Since there’s no help, come let us kiss and part.

Nay, I have done, you get no more of me;

And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart,

That thus so cleanly I myself can free.

Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows,

And when we meet at any time again,

Be it not seen in either of our brows

That we one jot of former love retain …”

You could feel your friends staring and you tried to keep your face as neutral as possible. Your skin felt like it was on fire, and you could hear the blood pounding in your ears as you thought of a murderer setting foot in your space; him touching your bed, running his hands over the photos on your nightstand, defiling your possessions with his presence. You’d never felt so vulnerable and exposed, and bile rose up in your stomach like your body was physically rejecting the whole thing. Distantly you heard Prentiss and Morgan discussing theories, and you felt one pair of warm brown eyes staring into the side of your head.

Suddenly, you didn’t feel like joking around anymore.

“Sorry,” you muttered, standing up and striding out of the room without looking back, “I need some air.”

You were so angry by the time you made it out into the courtyard that you’d balled your hands into fists and your breath was coming out in short little bursts. Hot tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and your chest felt painfully tight.

“Y/N?” You heard Spencer ask.

You sniffed, wiping your face quickly, “Reid, hi. Sorry, I just-“ you let out a slow breath, “I needed a break.”

He nodded like he understood, tucking his hands into his pockets as he stepped towards you. You wanted to tell him to go away, to head back inside and leave you the hell alone, but the words wouldn’t come.

It had always been like this with Spencer. No matter how hard you tried to be tough and brave and put together, he saw right through you and broke down your defenses. At one point, he’d been the closest thing to family you’d ever had, in fact you thought you might…..

Well, it didn’t matter now. Over the last year things had changed, you’d grown apart. It happened, but the fondness was still there, and the trust, and those damn eyes.

“I get it, Y/N, I can't even imagine what this whole thing must be like for you,” he said, “having your home be violated like that….and the store?” He shook his head, “I know how hard you worked setting that place up.”

Your bottom lip trembled and, for the first time that day, you let yourself feel afraid as tears slipped down your cheeks.

You shook your head, “You know, when I saw the glass all over the floor, and all the books….I just felt tired, like bone tired. I wasn’t scared of that, but now?” You paused, glancing up at Spencer, as a tear slid down your cheek, “He was in my home, Spencer. He made my bed before he left, he wrote me a letter.”

Spencer worked his jaw and hesitantly reached out, touching your shoulder gently.

“We’ll catch him, Y/N/N, we always do.” He promised.

“And until then?” You asked, “Do I just pretend it never happened? Go home and act like it’s all okay?”

“No,” another voice cut in from behind you, “you rely on us. We’ll take care of you,” Morgan explained.

“Yeah,” Garcia agreed, her big blue eyes clinging to yours, “We’ve talked about it already. You’ll take turns staying with each of us a few nights a week and then, on the weekends, we’ll all stay with Rossi to go over the case. And we’ll spend every free moment tracking this son of a bitch down for you.”

Emily nodded and, for the first time since you had opened your store that morning, you felt your chest swell with something a little like hope. You knew the BAU was special, you knew that the bonds you’d formed over the years were damn near unbreakable, but this? This was too much. Seeing your friends rally around you when you needed them most just reminded you how much you loved them, and how much they still loved you. Even now. Spencer gave your shoulder a squeeze and you smiled back at him.

“I really missed you guys,” you said with a watery laugh.

Penelope crooned and threw her arms around your neck, pulling you into a familiarly bone-crushing hug.

“We missed you too, Sugar Plum,” she promised.

“Really?”

“Hell yeah!” Morgan smiled, joining Penelope’s hug.

“You know we did,” Emily agreed, ruffling your hair and pulling herself in close.

Your eyes found Spencer where he was standing just outside of the group hug, both hands in his pockets and a sad smile on his face. You pressed your lips together and, in response, he nodded.

“We missed you,” he said softly and then, as the hug broke up and you allude your way back inside, even softer, “we still do.”

---------------- 

Taglist: @ourfavoritesergeantbarnes​

[sunshineandbnha]

Unexpected - Denki x reader (Valentine’s Day)

Word count: 3,978

Warnings: none, aside from a case of “Did not edit, just finished this this morning”

A/n: HOW DID THIS END UP SO LONG?? I swear, I started it with the idea and intention that it would be 1.4k or 1.9k words. How did I accidentally write two thousand more words? Anyway, I hope this is a good valentine fic for Denki boy. I thought of it due to a prompt on tumblr. If I can later remember who it was who made it, I will edit this and have a link to that post.

Edit: Found it. The prompt was made by @love-me-a-good-prompt

~

When was it you started to look at him differently?

"Hey!"

You looked over your shoulder to find Kaminari making his way past several students in the cafeteria to get to you. You turned your body to face him. Though, you felt awkward about still holding your lunchtray, as if it was a barrier between you and him.

"Do you got a date for tomorrow?" he asked with a grin.

Your heart gave a weep at the reminder of Valentine's day. As if the hearts and commercials all over the place weren't enough. "What do you think?"

"Just checking." He dashed to get his lunch tray he had set down, and sped walked to your side as you picked a table to sit at.

Kaminari had been your friend for several months. One day you had simply overheard him talking about a manga, the same one you had read, and you jumped into the conversation. After that, the both of you became easy friends, and frequently had lunch at the same table.

"Why would you even ask?” You slid into a seat at the table. “You know there's no one I'm really interested in."

"Except for fictional characters," he added while getting into his own chair across from you.

"Yeah. Unfortunately they aren't available for me to ask out."

He leaned back in his seat. “We’re really missing out on these things. I thought by the time I was in high school training to be a cool hero, I would have tons of girls who like me by now.”

“And I, for some reason, thought I would magically manifest a special someone. But that’s clearly not happening anytime soon.” You stared down while absent mindedly stirring your food.

He suddenly sat straight and looked at you with a twinkle in his eyes. The kind that told you he had an idea. "What if we did all of that classy Valentine's day stuff together?"

"I think you meant cliche."

"Banana, ba- ... oh wait, that's not how the saying goes."

You let out a large laugh and nearly choked on your food.

"Something with tomatoes or potatoes," he continued with a wave of his hand as if throwing away the topic. "Well, what do you think? You wanna do it?"

"You just want the chocolate, don't you?"

"No! I would never!" He waved his arms around. "... Well, that too."

"I knew it!" You lifted your fork/chopstick of food into air in triumph. "Just make sure you get my favorite chocolate once White Day rolls around."

"Sure thing!" He gave a thumbs up. "I'm sure I can get enough money by then!"

"You've been using all of it on manga and snacks again, haven't you?"

"What else would I use it on?"

"Okay. Just don't use the money for my chocolate on manga."

"If I did, It would be a great manga and be worth a lot more than some chocolate. Actually, that should be a thing. Instead of getting girls chocolate, get them manga! And we should get manga too. ... So, are we doing it?" he asked when he paused long enough to think.

"I don't know,” you shrugged while taking another bite.

He slammed his hand on the table. "But you said it like you did! I just agreed to get you chocolate next month!"

"I was saying if I agreed. If I agreed then you would have to get me chocolate.” You internally laughed at his response.

Kaminari slumped in his chair. "Okay, but my point is, how long have we been single? And it doesn't look like it's going to change anytime soon, so I was thinking why not we experience some of it while we're still in high school?"

"Hmmm," you tapped your finger against your lip. "Well, you have a point. And I guess I got nothing better to do tomorrow."

“So it’s a yes?” his eyes lit up.

“I guess so.”

“Yes!” He jumped up and some heads turned towards him. “I got a—!”

You hastily pulled him back down and got a hold of his ear. He yelped in pain before you shushed him. The attention he had gained was beginning to die down after doing that, much to your relief. You released a small puff of air, grateful that you didn’t feel like you were in a spotlight anymore.

“Kaminari,” you whispered into his ear, an edge present in your voice, “Don’t go announcing it to the world, especially if it’s not an actual date. Do not ruin it for me.”

You let go, and he got out of the awkward position of being pulled half way onto the table. Thankfully, he hadn’t landed in his food when you pulled him down. He settled back in his chair and rubbed his ear.

“Okay! You can count on me!”

 Maybe it was a bad idea to suddenly agree when that meant you had to make chocolate for him that night. You already had some chocolate you bought from the store for family and friends. One of those giri chocos was originally going to be his, but now you would have to actually make him honmei choco if you were going to have the whole Valentine's Day experience. You considered skipping on that for a brief second, but you had already agreed to do it. Plus, you weren't sure if you would ever get to do this during high school at this rate. And you wanted to at least have done it once.

You'd have to run to the store to get better quality chocolate, a cute wrap for it, and a heart shaped mold. In order to save time, you went directly to the nearest store after school. It would save time, which you didn't have much of it. You didn't know how long it would take to make them, and you wanted some extra time in case you make a mistake and had to do something over again.

It was more crowded than you thought. You also didn't realize how many stares you would get just for being in your U.A. uniform. Thankfully, everything you needed was there and you made your way to the counter to pay. As you were weaving your way through the people, you thought you saw another student. You did a double take. Uniform. Pink skin. Ashido.

You tried to duck and hide, but it was too late.

"Oh, hey!" She waved you down and ran to you. A bag of purchased goods was hanging from her arm. "What are you doing here? Are you getting last minute giri choco too!"

“I, uh.”

“Hey, isn't that stuff to make chocolate? Wait a second… OMG! Who’s the lucky person!”

You nervously held the items close to you. This was why you didn't want her seeing you. "No one, really. I'm just... making it for the experience." You put a smile onto your face and did your best to make the last half of the sentence sound cheery.

It wasn't technically a lie. You just hoped she bought it. Because if she kept prying and learned it was for Kaminari, you would never hear the end of it.

"Okay. Can I have some when you're done?" She joked and bumped your arm with her elbow.

"Only if I didn't eat it all first." You internally high fived yourself for the quick reply.

"Okay. Well, see you at U.A." She waved before dashing out the door.

"Bye!" You watched her go. When she was out of view, you exhaled a breath you didn't know you were holding.

 You stood nervously in the park. You wore a Valentine Day themed outfit you had put together, with the help of some ideas from the internet. It was 5:45 pm, the time you agreed on meeting. You had honestly expected him to be slightly late. Though it did nothing to make your feel less jittery.

There were quite a few people who also had the same idea of going to the park. Some friends playing Frisbee. A family walking by. And some couples. You scanned the area for him, multiple times, but still couldn't see him.

Why were you even so worried? This was your friend. It’s not like it was an actual date with someone you liked. If he forgot or something, you could just chew him out later. Then that 'what if' situation made you sick to your stomach and you forced yourself to stop thinking about it.

"Hey!"

You head turned up within a split second and you saw him. He wore a dark blue button up shirt. This plus his smile and hair... somehow made him look nice. A smile spread on your face, yet your nerves didn't completely calm down just yet.

"Hey!" You greeted back.

"You look nice," he commented.

"You too." You nodded. "So, what were you planning on doing first?"

"I thought we'd walk around here first, then go to this one restaurant. And after that we can wander around shops." he shrugged.

"Okay, sounds nice." You began walking side by side with him.

Your brain tried to sabotage the moment by beginning to make you feel awkward. You did your best to push it away. But were you supposed to be walking in silence? Or talking?

"You wanna hold hands?" He offered.

"Hmm," you joking held your finger to your lip in deep thought. "I think no."

"Oh, come on!" He acted upset, but there was a big grin on his face.

You laughed and he joined in. A few more jokes were thrown back and forth as you passed trees and other people. Though within a seemingly short amount of time, the conversation hit dead end. You pulled on your sleeve and look in any direction but him.

"Okay, this is getting boring,” he said. “Can we go to the restaurant now?”

"Lucky for you, I think we're almost at the end of the park, and I'm hungry."

“Yes!” he cheered. “They always make walking through the park look more fun in the movies.”

“Yeah,” you agreed with a laugh.

Kaminari led you to the place he picked out. Well, more like he tried to go there, then got lost and had to give up on relying on his memory. He made the brilliant move of pulling out his phone, setting the location on his map app, and he following it. But you both realized that he had gotten the point where you going mixed up with your location.  This resulted in having to backtrack and ignoring your growling stomach as it took even longer to get there.

Finally, you found it. You entered through door with him. Inside were tables placed around a large circle. The conveyor belt had several plates of food with different types of sushi and other dishes. The chiefs in the middle of the circle conveyor worked hard to keep the food coming. Almost every table was filled.

“Aw, man. We should have gotten here earlier,” Kaminari grabbed your hand. “C’mon.”

You both ran until you spotted a free table and slide in. It took a second to catch your breath after the sudden sprint. Sitting in the chair, you looked around more closely. It was a nice place. There were people chattering, some clanking of plates, and mouth watering food slowly passing by you. You reached up to begin to grab one, but then you stopped yourself.

"Wait, am I paying for myself or where you...?"

"You can have whatever you want. My treat," he replied with a ish eating grin. Probably meant that he thought what he just said was very cool.

You laughed to yourself and picked one and he did the same. It was good. You were pleasantly surprised, though you weren't sure why. Maybe it was because he had only learned of the restaurant while looking up ones online to take you to. And it was only yesterday that you agreed. Then again, you had made honmei choco the other night...

You suddenly remembered something and nearly choked on your sushi roll.

"You okay?" Kaminari said, unfortunately dismissing any hope you had that he didn't notice.

"No, I'm good. I just need to make a phone call. One second." You excused yourself and walked outside while pulling out your phone.

It was an uncomfortable change to suddenly be greeted by the chilly February air. Was it really that cold when you  were with Kaminari? You dialed your mom's number and resisted the urge to pace.

As soon as you heard the other end being picked up, you began. "Mom, I need you to get something for me. If you look in the kitchen, somewhere on the counter is where I left a bag of chocolate for Valentine's day. Can you bring that to me?" You had been so busy trying to get ready and be on time, that you had accidentally left the honmei choco you made.

"Uhh, okay. But where are you? It’ll be awfully hard to give it to you if I don’t know where you are."

"In a little bit I should be..." you tried to think of a good point to meet up, "near Takoba Municipal Beach Park. Probably close to that one gazebo. I'll text you that so you don't forget after I hang up."

"Okay. I hope you appreciate this. I really don't feel like going all the way out there to give you something you forgot."

"If I could go back and un-forget it, I would. Thank you. Bye."

With that, the call ended. You took a deep breath to calm your heart, which seemed to think forgetting chocolate was a catastrophic event, and went back inside.

When you caught sight of Kaminari again he was dunking a chunk of seaweed and fish into soy sauce, before shoving it into his already full mouth. He stopped  and paused upon seeing you. He chewed and swallowed as quickly as he could and finished by the time you sat back down.

"So, what was that about?" he started it off as a joke, but his voice seemed shaky for whatever reason.

"I just forgot something and asked Mom to go get it for me." Technically wasn't a lie.

"Oh, okay." He began eating more. He started counting the plates and you could see his face pale a tad.

"Is everything alright for you?"

"Huh? I mean, yeah, everything's great." He smiled at you.

You shrugged and focused your gaze on the conveyor belt. A particularly delicious looking morsel. It was clearly more expensive, with a nice layer of tuna in it. You reached out your hand, considering getting it when you saw Kaminari flinch at your action.

You turned to him. "Do I need to pay for my own meal?"

"No, no," he tried to retain the coolness he built up, "I can pay."

You sighed. "No, you are not going broke because of expensive fish."

"But, that's not-"

"What? It's not cool? Denki- oops.” You realized you accidentally used his given name.

His face turned the slightest bit pink, though you hardly even noticed in your own embarrassment. “That’s fine. You can call me Denki. We’ve known each other long enough.”

“Thanks,” you nodded and continued, “Denki, you are my friend," why did the word 'friend' leave a different taste this time 'round? "and I don't want you doing something stupid because you think it makes you look cool."

He struggled to make a comeback and ended up blurting out, "Doing something stupid that makes me look cool defines me."

"Look, let's split the bill between us, that way you pay for some of mine, but you don't spend up the money for the chocolate you promised me."

"Wait, you didn't care about me, you just wanted to make sure you still got chocolate." He faked an offended expression.

You exhaled a laugh. "Yeah, sure. Whatever makes you feel better. As long as you agree."

"Fine."

"But don't purposefully buy more just because I'm offering to pay half."

"Can't make any promises~"

"You little-"

Eventually, you became full enough, or rather reached the maximum to what you were willing to pay. Then you left. You blinked when you stepped out. You hadn’t expected it to become this dark. Kaminari began walking off, probably to some store or the mall, but you grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Is it alright if we stop by the beach?"

His eyes lit up, like the stars in the sky. "Great idea! That'd be much more romantic."

You expected to roll your eyes, but what you found was your face growing warm and your mouth being lost for words. Thankfully, he didn't notice and just started running for the beach, pulling you along. Buildings loomed over you in the dark, until they finally cleared and the beach came into view. The sea seemed to become the night sky. It gently washed over the sand in a rhymic pattern. The sound of it filled your ears and your senses listened. A sense of calmness washed over you.

You both walked up to the gate that separated the beach from the road. Kaminari leaned against the metal gate, resting on his arms. The two of you stared at the view in a comfortable silence.

“Wow, this is nice,” he commented.

“Yeah.” There was a weird feeling, somewhat reminiscent to a flutter or squeeze, in your chest. Something that made the moment seem more magical. You could almost feel this feeling rising and beginning to climb up your throat.

More silence, then a movement caught your attention out the corner of your eye. Your mom was waving to you and held a small bag that slightly reflected in the small amount of light there was.

“One second, I need to go get something,” you let him know and ran to your mom. “Thank you so much.”

“Just don’t make this a habit,” she handed it to you. Then she glanced to where Kaminari was and squinted. “Is that your date? Is that why you were making chocolate?”

“No,” your voice came out more unsure for some reason, “well, I… was just making that for myself. This is just giri choco.”

“Okay.” She shrugged. “Don’t stay out much longer.”

“I won’t.” You quickly ran back. “Hey,” you greeted him.

“Hey. What was that about?”

“Noting important,” you shrugged and leaned on the gate. “Oh, and here.” You held the bag out to him, trying to act cool and nonchalant, but you knew you had a big smirk on your face.

He gasped and snatched it out of your hold. He wrestled with the bag, trying to get it open. Once he succeeded, he looked inside. A big smile spread across his face and he pulled it out. He held a large chocolate heart on a stick, almost like a lollipop. You thought that would be fun to make. Of course, now that he held it, you could see all the tiny imperfections. Like where a small air bubble had been, or how some chocolate had gotten on the stick. But Kaminari didn’t seem to care at all. He stared at it in awe. Like he had just been given something he wanted for years.

“Wow! Wait, did your mom just give this to you? Did you forget?” he looked over to you.

“What, no, I would never…” you laughed nervously. “But I did make it. You better like it, or else,” you joked.

“I’m sure I will! Wow. You made this?”

“Yep. Last night.”

“Thank you!” He took a bite out of it and began happily chewing.

You smiled. Your eyes locked onto the gazebo on the beach. It looked really nice. The thought of you being in it made you want to go even more. Currently there was a couple there, but then they walked out and started going down the beach. Your eyes lit up.

You looked to Kaminari, tugged on his sleeve, and pointed to the now empty location.

He grinned. “I think I know what you’re thinking and I think we should do it too.”

With a couple of small laughs you both hurried down to the beach was fast as you could. The sand made you slow your pace into a walk, but you didn’t mind. The sea air on you felt refreshing, chilling your skin. The moon was beautiful and the water reflected slivers of the moonlight that danced.

"It looks really nice." You smiled.

"Yeah... wanna hold hands?" He offered his free hand to you.

To your surprise, this actually sounded nice. And to your greater surprise, you accepted. Your hand slipped in his perfectly. Almost like it found its home. The second you skin touched, it was like electricity ran through you and jump started your heart. You were about to ask if he was using his quirk, but quickly realized that it didn't feel exactly like electricity. But the strange feeling in your heart continued. You couldn't tell if it felt nice or if you wanted it to go away.

Your feet kept sinking in the sand until you reached the pier and had to get used to walking on concrete again. You made your way to the roof on the end of the pier, hand in hand. You stood by the edge. Staring at the water.

Kaminari took the last bite. “That was delicious.”

“Thanks.”

“So…” he looked around. He put the stick back into the bag and placed it in his pocket. “Wanna dance?”

Instead of your usual joking reply, you felt flustered, but shyly accepted. He pulled out his phone and started some music up. You put your hand in his and the other on his shoulder. He held you by the waist. You tried to regulate your breathing and calm down. The two of you began spinning in time with the music. He twirled you around. You even did that one move you would see in movies. When you’d spin out, like a door opening, while still holding his hand. The he’d pull you back to him. It all felt simple, and fun.

Right as the fourth song was ending, you had an overwhelming urge to ask him something. “Umm,” then you stopped yourself when you realized exactly what it was you actually wanted to ask. But why did it feel like it was rising out of your throat, desperately wanting to be said.

“Yeah?” he looked at you. His yellow eyes made you feel like melting, an effect they never had up until that point.

“I… it was nothing.”

“Really?”

“No.” You cursed yourself for automatically saying the truth.

 “Then what is it?” He looked at you more intently.

Your mind was doing somersaults trying to figure out what to do or say. “Date, please,” you blurted out.

“Huh?”

“Well, um.” You really wished you had kept your mouth shut. You stared down and said in the most quiet voice possible, “I think maybe I kinda like you and maybe, kinda, want to go on a real date with you. Maybe? If you’d be fine with that, maybe.”

“Wait,” he stepped back as if in surprise. “You. Want to date… me?”

Your face was burning to the point you wanted to stick into the water like an ostrich. “Yes?”

He threw his arms in the air and jumped around. “Yes! I got an actual date! I’m finally dating someone! They said I couldn’t do it!”

“You don’t need to announce it to the whole world.” You laughed.

“Well, you are m—”

“I swear, if you say finish with ‘my world’ I will knock you over the head.”

He let out a big laugh. “Why? You don’t want to be my world?”

His laughter was contagious. “No, it’s cheesy, and this literally just happened a minute ago.”

You both started to walk back, and hardly even noticed when your hands slipped perfectly into one another.

[emm-jayy]

don’t tell scotty (i) - spencer reid

summary: you love ethan, no doubt about it. but you just have so much chemistry with your friend you’ve had for years.

warnings: sexual themes, cheating, angsty spence as always

wc: 2k

a/n: i do not condone cheating at all, but this is a work of fiction. if you aren’t comfortable reading it, then don’t, i won’t take it personal

masterlist

You laugh slightly as you throw back on your loose t-shirt. Spencer pushes his hair off of his face, as you attempt to smooth down yours. You pull out your phone, glancing at the reflection of the black screen to check your makeup. No makeup smudges, no evident sweat from the activities you and Spencer just partook in,you looked okay.

You put your phone down, looking over at Spencer. He smiles, coming over to you and nipping at your neck. You push him away jokingly, and just as you do, you both hear a knock at the Spencer’s apartment door. Spencer pulls away almost immediately, and you smooth your hair down once again. You quickly think of a topic, and begin speaking as you open the door.

“I think Spock is my favorite character, he really grows the most throughout the series.” You say, opening the door. Your smile grows, seeing Ethan. “Hi!” You say, feigning surprise.

“Hey man, mind if I steal my girl away from you?” Ethan laughs, wrapping his arm around your waist, and placing a kiss on your temple.

Spencer looks down, “Yeah.. that’s okay.” He laughs nervously, stammering a bit.

“Bye Spence.” You smile, “I'll see you bright and early at work tomorrow .” He returns your smile, and you close the door behind you.

You were always a better actor than Spencer.

The dynamic and secrecy worked because of 2 key elements, you and Spencer had been friends for years, and you were almost the same person, save for maybe a few personality quirks.

Over the years, many people had asked why it was you and Ethan, not you and Spencer. The answer was always the same: “We’re too similar, it would be like dating myself.” followed by a laugh of both parties. It turned out though, that being friends for years certainly helped in the activities that you and Spencer often participated in.

Being friends for years worked into the situation by allowing Spencer to be touchy with you. Derek was always touchy and flirty with Penelope… it would make sense to Ethan that Spencer would be flirty with you as well. You never initiated it, there was still a constant fear that Ethan would find out, even though there were things you had in place to make sure that didn’t happen.

For example, everything only ever lasted maybe 10 minutes, the profiler in Spencer and you were worried that Ethan would find it out. The intimate moments were short and sweet. The time didn’t really matter though, as Spencer had you falling apart underneath him in 2 minutes, tops. (something Ethan wasn’t too skilled at). You two seemingly had it all worked out.

Except, Spencer had been hiding something.

It was obvious he wasn’t too good at lying, you covered for him most of the time. But there was something else he was hiding, the extreme jealousy he felt. It wasn’t fair that Ethan got to have you at the end of the day, especially whenever Spencer technically had you first.

It was after the fisher king case, and Spencer had just had enough of the stress. He needed a way to relax, and you happened to want to have a movie night that day. One thing led to another, both parties needing someone to confide in. The next thing Spencer knew, he woke up with you cuddling into his side.

That morning, you had both agreed it would just be that, stress relief. It continued, up until Tobias Hankle. You decided it would be best to give Spencer space. Just a month and a half after that though, the team traveled to New Orleans, where you met Ethan. The chemistry was immediate, JJ and you always joked about how love was in the air that day in New Orleans.

After a few months of dating long distance, Ethan moved up to D.C. It had been one of the best days of your life, and one of the worst days of Spencer’s. He helped Ethan move into his new apartment, and you were there. He watched you and Ethan laugh and share chaste kisses when you thought he wasn’t looking, it broke Spencer’s heart.

3 months went by, and Spencer’s jealousy grew. He keeps it from you. You still go over to his apartment for movie nights, it had become your thing.

Spencer was growing tired of hiding his feelings from you, and one movie night, you had grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels. As you scrolled, you landed on the exact same movie you had been watching whenever you two had first spent the night together.

Something snapped inside of Spencer, and he just took the remote from you, turned your head towards him, and kissed you. He was expecting you to pull away, maybe hit him, and tell him how wrong it was. That was not the case though.

Spencer pulled away after maybe a second and a half. And examined the look in your eyes. It wasn’t one of guilt or anger, but one of lust. You bit your lip, and gave him another kiss, slowly climbing on top of him. After pulling away once again, Spencer looked in your eyes, hand falling to your cheek.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah, just stress relief, right?” You asked, smiling and looking down at his chest and neck.

Spencer’s other hand balled into a fist, out of your view. He cleared his throat, and then copied your smile, “Right, just stress relief.” He confirmed, presses kisses down your jaw.

After you were finished, you put your clothes back on, and said you had to be on your way. Enough time had passed, it might be suspicious, you had said.

So, for the past year and a half, this had been the schedule. Sundays were movie nights, as they always had been, there was just sometimes a lot more touching and passion involved. (more often times than not)

Though it had been nearly two years, each and every time you and Spencer had sex, there was still some sliver of hope inside him. Hope that you would finally say, “I’m breaking up with Ethan. It’s always been you Spence.”

He replayed this situation hundreds of times in his mind. Every Sunday when you would leave, he half expected you to say it after you pressed a kiss to his cheek. The words never made their way past your lips, sadly.

Each time after you left, Spencer stood by the door, his hand resting on it after he closed it. He waited for around 3 minutes, he figured that was enough time to wait, just in case you wanted to have a movie moment where you run back into his apartment to confess your love to him.

That never happened.

After waiting, he would step away slowly, making his way to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, turning it to the hottest he could take, and stepped in after taking off all his clothes. The hot water would run all over his hair and face, and he would brush his curls off his face.

Each and every time, Spencer would grab the soap, and begin scrubbing and scrubbing his body. He told himself he was just getting clean, but it would get to the point where he was going over the same spot nearly 5 times.

Perhaps subconsciously, Spencer was trying to cleanse himself of the immense jealousy and hatred he felt. He hated you, god he fucking hated you. He hated the way he felt around you, the way his heart simultaneously sunk and swelled at the sight of you.

Spencer fucking hated you for putting him in this situation.

After scrubbing himself nearly raw, Spencer would get out of the shower. He would get dressed in only pants, and lie in bed. He would fall asleep early, cursing you in his mind.

Then, on Monday, the following day, he would beg for Sunday to come quicker.

~

Sometimes, when the team would leave the state on cases, you and Spencer would share a room together. Today was one of those times.

Spencer gritted his teeth as he walked past you and Ethan, you two were hugging, and you pulled away as you adjusted your bag.

“I’m really sorry we have to be away on your birthday week. We’ll celebrate as soon as I get back, okay?” You asked, looking at Ethan. He nods, giving you a quick kiss. You smile, walking towards the plane.

“Take care of her for me Reid.” Ethan calls, and Spencer offers a smile in return, nodding.

If only he knew.

Spencer bumps his elbow into you, and you give a shy smile, rolling your eyes. After everything, you were still actually really good friends. You sit next to each other on the jet, and Spencer shows you his favorite excerpts of the book he’s reading. It felt almost...domestic. And that’s where the problem will lie.

~

You solve the case you were working in a few days, but the arrest is made pretty late at night. Hotch decides to just fly out in the morning, let the team get rest in the hotel before they leave.

It had passed midnight, meaning it was now Ethan’s birthday. You and Spencer trudged into your shared hotel room, and you nearly collapse onto the bed. Spencer smiles, throwing his bag down.

He comes up beside you, pressing gentle kisses to your jaw. It felt good to be close to each other, to share a close space. Things devolved quickly, kisses being pressed closer to your cleavage, you pulling for Spencer’s shirt to be unbuttoned.

Spencer’s touch felt good as always, but there was something so incredibly bad (in a good way) about doing something so naughty on your boyfriend's birthday.

All thoughts of Ethan drifted away when Spencer’s hands went between your thighs, though.

~

Spencer wakes up as daylight pours into the hotel room. He smiles, adjusting his arms around you. The feeling of waking up with his arms around you just felt so right. Spencer wanted to do it every morning. He wanted to fall asleep with you every night.

But he couldn’t. He attempts to brush all bad feelings away as he sunk closer into you. The sudden movement makes your eyes open, and Spencer brushes the hair out of your eyes.

“Hey baby,” You say softly. Spencer thought it was very odd, as pet names had only been used for you two during sex. He ignored it though relishing in the feeling of being called a domestic name.

You cleared your throat, “What time does the plane leave?” You ask, and Spencer replies with, “Around ten, and it’s 8:30 now.” He says, looking over at the clock.

You get out of bed, rubbing your eyes as you walk towards the bathroom. Spencer hears the shower turn on, and he smirks. You were too fucked out last night to take a shower last night, Spencer told you to just fall asleep in his arms.

You were both ready within an hour, and went down to the lobby to meet the team eventually.

~

On the plane, you two sat next to each other as usual. There was a chess board in between you two, and Spencer was attempting to teach you a new strategy. After winning for about the 6th time, Spencer got up to make himself some more coffee.

As he stood at the sort of coffee table, Derek came out of the bathroom. Spencer smiled at him, stirring his coffee with the stick provided. Spencer noticed Derek had a slightly solemn look on his face, and Spencer drew his eyebrows together.

Derek moved his head to Spencer’s ear, lowering his voice. “Just letting you know, our hotel rooms were pretty much next to each other, and the walls were pretty thin.”

Spencer’s eyes widen, but he quickly subdues his reaction. He looks at Derek, and Derek just pats his shoulder, returning to his seat.

Spencer stills for a moment, but eventually makes his way back to his seat as well. He continues teaching you the new strategy, but is distracted by Derek’s revelation the whole rest of the flight.

~

@1800-fight-me @rachel-rebellio @itsarayofsunshine @soupmakesmynoserun @elizabethkaylynn @drspencr @mattgraygubler @reid-187 @darling-doll9 @disney-dreams-world @myfavbau @softpeteparker @chaoticsteverogers @throughparisallthroughrome @whollytaciturn @imsuperawkward @pinkprincenamjoon @spenciereiddd @pinkdiamond1016 @eideticprettyboydrreid @aperrywilliams @mahleeyuh @garcias-batcave @stardust-galaxies @rachelxwayne @kris-stuff @yesimaunicorn

[yzkhr]

I really appreciate those who read my random fanfictions so here's one for all of you

-

Kudo Shinichi is a proud man. He's composed, calcutive, and strict. Being exposed in a world of crimes and injustice through books and media ever since he was a young child, he created an image built upon his own desires. He strived to save victims and put criminals behind bars. Unlike his father who's contented with writing about amazing detectives, he wanted to be one.

And so he did, at a young age and still in highschool, he managed to rise to the top by helping the police with even the most difficult of cases. He craved mystery, like they were drugs. Something he can never live without. He isn't just Kudo Shinichi, son of the great mystery writer, Kudo Yuusaku and legendary actress Fujimine Yukiko any longer. He's Kudo Shinichi, great high school detective of the east, and saviour of the police force.

Of course, just like anyone, he has an idol and a role model to be inspired from. Who's a better encouragement than the greatest detective of all time, Conan Doyle's masterpiece of a character, Sherlock Holmes? Just like Holmes, Shinichi's someone who despise injustice and corrects it. Just like Holmes, Shinichi has a sport he's good at when violence is needed. Just like Holmes, Shinichi is a living mystery killer, who sheds light to even the darkest of enigma.

People claimed him to be 'not just like Holmes' anymore, rather, he is him. The Sherlock Holmes of the modern era.

But people who really knew this person would beg to disagree. He may have similarities with the world's most famous detective, but they're all—except for their brand of justice— taken from face value. After all, Holmes was described to be someone who's logical through and through, never letting emotions get the best of this respectable man. But Shinichi? Shinichi has feelings. Compared to his beloved fictional character, Kudo Shinichi is human.

As a human, he naturally have emotions. Emotions such as dread and anger showed when he was drugged by those men in black that unfortunate day. Feelings like panic and fear kicked in whenever he gets in contact with them. Sensing regret and self loathing every time he thinks back to what could have happen if he wasn't so careless?

He was trapped. Trapped by anxiety and paranoia that they'll come after him and those he loved if they ever found out. Trapped in a body of a 6 year old kid who's basically useless in every sense of the word. Trapped in a place where no one, not even Haibara Ai—or Miyano Shiho—can get to, despite being in the same predicament.

But he didn't give up. He couldn't. Giving up meant throwing away everything he's been living for. Letting the evil ones win while he rot and die. Whether as a detective or as a person, he can't let that happen.

So, after a year and a half of careful planning, cunning actions, and mind boggling game of hide and seek, they finally did it. It was hard, but it was worth it.

He got back to his old body and everything has gotten better and better, as they all live happily ever after.

If only it had gone that way.

Even after the final battle, he couldn't sleep. Always on his guard, tension filling his lungs, his body can't even relax. He felt like he's being watched, that Gin and Vodka would come banging at his door, waking him up from a dream. They would traget his parents and the professor, even going as far to kill everyone who made contact with him.

But of course, none of his wild imagination happened. Years went by and as the organization was left behind by those involved, he felt like he was still in the past.

He was suffocating. In the day, he had to always be careful to anyone he converse with, fearing they might be Vermouth in disguise. During the afternoon, he always had to check any unuasualness, dreading Chianti and Korn would shoot him anytime. At night, he wouldn't—couldn't— sleep a wink, ready at any moment the men in black would take away everything he has gained back.

He may be freed from the chains of their crimes, but he's still haunted by the scars so deeply imbedded in his arms he couldn't move on. They might be dead, but he's still being taunted by their malignant ghosts. The black organization was gone, but they took Kudo Shinichi with them to suffer.

But, just as he thought he had reached rock bottom, a hand would appear everytime, holding out to him. At the other side would be an angel, in the form of his most beloved wife, Mouri—now it's Kudo— Ran.

She would hug him, filling his cold world with warmth he didn't know he needed until then. She would whisper sweet things in his ears, making his trembling body stop it's nervous shaking. She would kiss him, giving him the air he'd then realized he lost. She would comfort him, using her presence alone, reminding him he's not alone. That he'll never be alone.

And everytime that would happen, he would always feel like he didn't deserve her. It wasn't a new feeling. Ran was so kind that no one deserved her. But, he was selfish, taking everything away from the woman who loved him too much.

The woman he deceived and lied to for too many times.

The woman who believed in him even when he didn't believed in his own self.

The woman who didn't give up on him even when there was no hope he can grasped on to.

The woman who's kindness got her involved and almost killed.

The woman who stayed for him, when he abandoned his own.

The woman who waited.

And the woman who he loved most in this cruel world.

He'd always whisper into her right ear with a quivering tone, burying his exhausted being in her long chestnut hair, enjoying his—yes his and only his— wife's warmth.

"I don't deserve you."

Then he would feel her smile on his shoulder, giving it a light kiss that still gave a million butterflies in his stomach.

"You're worth it Shinichi. You're always worth it."

She'd reply in that sweet voice of hers, satisfaction and gentleness so painfully clear that Shinichi was always forced to believe it.

He'd always hold her a little closer and a little tighter, confirming that she's real. That she's not dead and that he won't ever lose her.

With that, Kudo Shinichi will live another day, fighting the demons that dragged him down, knowing that an angel will always pull him up.

[fanfictiondreamscape]

Where the Hell am I? (pt. 1)

Title: Where the Hell am I? (pt. 1) 

Genre: comedy, lil floofy (if you squint, I promise), and a lil dramatic - mostly comedic, though. 

Pairing: Aizawa Shota x Reader

Notes: This is, yet again, an idea that was pitched to me by one of my friends over Snapchat. I did take some liberties, contrary to their idea, but I read it and I just HAD to do it. 

Frankly, it made me so happy! I thought that I’d split this, maybe not, but if you want another character (or characters) for this prompt - please let me know!

Some warnings, though; there will be plenty of swearing, so proceed with caution! The reader is also aged up, 21+ purely for the comfort of the writer. I imagine them to be around 24-25, but go about it however you like! 

Below the cut! 

“You really need to stop watching that childish garbage, y’know. You’re too old for that.”

“Grow up already! People your age don’t watch shit like that!” 

“None of that will help you get by in life; stop watching that and get your life together already!”

AKA, things I, (Y/n) (L/n) hear on a daily basis. 

Hello, dear reader! I’m (Y/n), as you’ve already presumed, and according to my family and friends, I waste my time watching what they call ‘immature junk’. I like to call it anime, but whatever floats their boat. 

I have graduated from college, but I still live with a couple of roommates. My diploma has been sitting on the stack of boxes in the corner of my junk, and no matter how hard I’ve tried, the degree has never seemed to win over anybody in the field.

I’ve struggled with a job hunt for a while now, and I’m getting tired of trying to find something that can tie me over for a little while. I know that the job wouldn’t last, something that has followed me around for the longest time no matter how well I completed any given tasks, but I need something to pitch to the split rent. 

I like to think that my roommates haven’t thought of kicking me to the curb as well, but frankly, they’ve probably found a way to do that or leave my ass sat on the empty apartment floor. Whatever the case, things haven’t been working out well for me at all. 

I’ve been broke on and off as of late, and the only things I have managed to keep consistent was my laptop ownership, my phone ownership, and my clothing and personal items. I’ve been making sure that I have cut back on using many things, but it was starting to bite me now. 

Today, of all days, was the one day that everything was seemingly coming to a head. My roommates were both at each other’s throats and took their frustration out on me (for no reason, honestly - I had already paid my portion of the utilities for the the month and had stayed quiet), my mom had just been admitted to the hospital, and my sibling has been taunting me from her fancy-schmancy upscale home by calling me a loser, deadbeat, etc. - all in all, a shitty day. 

Normally, things like this wouldn’t bother me that much (aside from the pandemic confirmation), but this has been a long time coming and I was at my breaking point. 

That night, I had just let everything be. Not a good thing considering the note that they were left on, but I can’t deal with the presence of people that are immature assholes that haven’t been taught to face your issues head-first, and I am too tired to put up with it anymore. 

I grabbed my laptop and opened up my Funimation account. If I could trust no one in the physical world, then I could trust someone in the fictional world instead. 

I had scrolled through, but when I saw that I had watched everything I planned to, I made the final decision to rewatch one - that anime being Boku No Hero Academia, I was pretty content to watch these teenagers grow in a way that I was unable to - nostalgic value in the anime can be spotted, but you have to look closely. 

The opening narration by Deku had started, and as the episodes continued, I got tired. I don’t remember when this happened, but I think I actually fell asleep around episode 5. No matter, things started to blur and I slept. 

...

Everything felt warm and windy, my clothes were brushing against my hands, and I felt extremely groggy. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Well, except for the fact that I felt like I was sleeping on a literal rock, and it was seemingly moving. 

The rocking of whatever it was I was laying on was what woke me up completely, all the sleep forgotten in favor of figuring out what the object was. Looking down, it seemed to be a sheet of metal, and my god - did it stink. ‘Am I laying down in a dumpster?’

After looking down, I did indeed find out that I was sleeping near one. Or in one. Whatever fits, I guess. 

Everything about this situation seemed like I had, somehow, fallen into a blackout drunk stupor. The likelihood of that happening, though, is very low - I have actively avoided any alcohol intake following my 21st birthday. And I had apparently decided to become an emotional drunk when I did reach that point, so that was even more unlikely. 

With that knowledge, this seemed especially fishy. I had to get to the bottom of it. 

I had slipped out of the area slowly, making sure to not accidentally cut my leg or arm on a raw metallic edge, and tread down the alley that I had been sleeping in. 

I didn’t recognize the buildings around me, everything seemed to be a lot more colorful and definitely an extremely far departure from the decrepit, run-down shithole that I had to call a ‘house’. The sky was also so much bluer than what I was used to. 

My parents and other family lived in better areas than I did, but that sky wasn’t what got me - it was the commotion that was coming from around the corner. The sound was so familiar, and I just couldn’t help but assume something crazy: did I land in the world of My Hero? 

‘No, no, no - that’s not possible. That can’t be possible. Your roommates have just lost their shit and threw you out on the street.’ That had to be it, it had to be. There was no other possible situation, though they would have just thrown my ass to the curb and not a dumpster in a generally clean city. 

Yeah, they couldn’t have done that. Or, maybe they did want to kick me out but realized that throwing me out in the dumpster would warrant some legal claims against them, so they decided to inform a family member that actually gave a damn. Then again, the one that was closest lived over two states away, so that also wouldn’t happen so quick. 

“Ugh, my head hurts...”

A crash sounded through the alleyway, and I had made the conclusion that if I don’t leave now, I would get crushed under debris. That being decided, I made a mad dash out of said alley to the opposite end of the sound.

As soon as I left, the obnoxious technicolor of it all made me do a double take. What the hell is with this color palette?

“Are you lost?” 

I jumped from the question. It wasn’t until I turned around that something hit me: yeah, this is most definitely N O T my world. 

The person that had inquired my direction status had a huge spike sticking out of either hand. Their head was shaped normally, their eyes were a dark blue color, and they had short hair. I couldn’t tell if they were male or female, or even non-binary, but I was too freaked out to care. Best bet for this situation, though, was to go with the flow no matter what happens. I refuse to risk my safety any further. 

“I, uh...um, yeah. Yeah, I am lost - but may I ask who wants to know?”

They breathed a sigh of relief, and their hands transformed into regular ones. The only explanation for this was that I was going crazy, or that I really landed in the world of My Hero. “Oh, thank god. I thought you were a villain for a second. Follow me before you get hit,” they said before they directed me further away from the soon-to-be-destroyed building. 

We had made some small talk - if you could even call it that - as we evacuated, and I found out that their name was Dylan. They were apparently an off-duty hero, though that could be left up to debate considering no hero would voluntarily reveal their identity to someone on the street. Though they could have also assumed that I was a regular citizen, as well. 

Didn’t help that I was still completely and utterly fucked on the front of knowledge - still confused, for a shorter explanation. 

The commotion was still very prevalent as I continued walking with Dylan, and when we finally reached the town, the volume was so much more deafening. The sight was as well. 

Two people were fighting in mid-air, one with a dark jacket and leather pants. Gloves were on their hands, but the big kicker was their mouth - it was almost warped into a joker smile, cuts and all, but it was full of teeth. Their eyes, from what I could see from my spot  on the ground, were very large and red. I wish I could have seen more, though. 

The other one was wearing some garb that mimicked Deadpool, though it was very obviously not him since there were some very obvious legs that were protruding from each side of their body. If I was observing them correctly, too, there were eight legs and multiple eyes. A spider hero? Like, a literal spider hero? 

“(Y/n), I’m sure that you’re curious and a little freaked out, but I’m going to ask that you stay here with the crowd,” Dylan said. They laid their hand on my shoulder as I stared at the view in front of me. I absently nodded, muttering a small and measly, “Got it,” as the realization of everything sunk in. 

I really am in the My Hero world. I really landed in a fictional world. 

Holy shit, I’m completely and totally screwed. 

There are so many things that could go wrong, so many things that would warrant a worry. Besides that, though, the thing that’s just hit me now that I know that I’m in their world is the most worrying. 

Whose quirk got so screwed that I got transported here? Do I have to find that person to return to my world? Even then, was this done on purpose? In that case, would they want to send me back? What if it’s a villain and they want something? So many things can go so severely wrong. 

I couldn’t leave my head now. I could, quite literally, die here and no one would notice. 

My blank stare didn’t go unnoticed by certain citizens around me, but their attention was soon diverted - as was mine - at the newest occurrence on the scene. The spider hero was dropping lower, the (supposed) villain was falling quickly to the floor, and another hero stood above the two on top of a nearby building. Cheers erupted through the crowd as the commotion was met with flashing lights, news reporters, and gossip writers. 

It took a second for me to notice, but the other hero on the building was Kamui Woods. Though I would later find this out, too, Mt. Lady was taking care of the runaway villain - she blew up larger with said villain in her hands a bit away from the scene with a triumphant smirk. 

Though there was some slight commotion from the shaken media reporters, they quickly fell back into their goals and started to plow through the crowd. People were being pushed left, right, and forward.

Through this chaos, though, I noticed Dylan pushing against the people looking winded. Eventually, they made it to me while panting. “Okay, so,” they began, “We should probably leave now, but I want to ask you some questions.”

I shrugged, taking a deep breath. “You need to ask, fire away. I need some answers anyway.”

We settled on a nearby restaurant, Dylan offering to pay for whatever food I ordered, and got down to the questions. 

“I noticed that you were stiff when you saw the fight. It wasn’t the normal kind of stiff, either.” 

Dylan’s words seemed off. How could they see a difference in shock between me and the citizens? A villain attack is a villain attack, right? 

“It was more...upset, for lack of a better word. What’s going on with that?” they inquired, making me stiffen. I didn’t realize that I was that odd in the crowd.

I wasn’t sure how to phrase my answer, but I had to say something. Unless I said it straight out, this would probably be a failure to explain. And people may look at me like I’ve lost it. 

“Well...I...”

Dammit.

I’ve just gotta say it. 

“I think I’ve been transported between realities. This one isn’t mine, I fell asleep in a dingy apartment, woke up here, and I’m-”

“Okay, I think I have an idea of what’s going on. I could help you, but it may take some time. Until then, let’s find a way to make sure that you don’t get screwed while you’re here, sound good?”

I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful. Then the thought hit me.

“Wait, how would you know? How can I trust you? Prove that you’re a hero, and then I’ll think about that offer.”

They chuckled a little, seemingly nonplussed, and reached for their hero license. After taking a look at it, I determined that this was a real license. You can’t get one unless you passed the exam, and even then, there are very few circumstances in which you can get one and not be a hero. 

“Getting closer, but still not there. I need more proof.”

Nodding again, they grabbed their cell and opened their messages in front of me. Their phone screen was face up, and they turned it to face me. I saw messages between Kamui and Dylan. I scrolled through the messages to make sure that they weren’t faked, and the image moved. 

“One more thing. If that’s the case, then tell me what your quirk is.”

“Well, my quirk is body morphing, or shape shifting. I can’t shift into anything that’s living, though - and I can’t keep up form for too long of a time. That enough for you?”

I paused, weighing the options - they’ve shown enough awareness, and they do have proof for what I provided, but how can I be sure that this isn’t just a ploy to trap a citizen and get the attention of the heroes? 

“Okay, here’s what I am gonna do - I’m going to trust you. I have nowhere else to go, nor do I have any idea as to why I’m here, and I can’t go about life here without some help,” I uttered, urgency (and possibly a little fear) in my tone of voice. 

With a nod, their bouncy curls following the action. They seemed satisfied, and I had finally found some sense of stability.

I can now figure this shit out. 

[darklingichor]

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton *Major Spoilers*

I did not plan to revisit this one because I still have it mostly memorized from when I read it over and over as a teenager.

I loved this book so much, even though my life was worlds away from Ponyboy's, I related to him.

This is probably the most influential book I've ever read. I found out it was written when S.E. Hinton was a teen and I thought "Maybe I can do it too."

I soon found that I was far too sensitive to let people read what I wrote, I couldn't get around the idea of pouring part of myself into something and having someone tell me it sucks.

Now, I realize that's pretty rich considering this blog, but I couldn't do it as a kid and even now it feels a little like saying "please judge my spleen for your liking. If it is found lacking, by all means throw it in the shredder. Fear not, I will feel every cut."

This is why very few people have ever read my fiction.

That's also why, with a couple of exceptions I try to be very respectful of every book I read.

Anyway, what made me return to The Outsiders was that I discovered that there was a 50th anniversary edition. This hardcover has extras, my finger was hitting buy before I even registered it.

So, reread it for the first time in a long time.

I sank into the sweet nostalgia of the story. Reading this book is like sliding on a well worn pair of jeans. This book introduced me to Robert Frost.

I taught myself to type using the poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" because I had it memorized and would never get tired of it.

I still love the friendships and family bonds presented in the story. I still got a knot in my throat when Johnny died and Dally lost everything. I cried when Ponyboy found Johnny's letter. By God, but I still love this book.

I did notice that some things hit differently now than they did even when I read it once in my 20's.

The first thing I noticed is akin to when you watch The Little Mermaid as an adult and Arial says that she's sixteen and not a kid

and you laugh out loud because, girl, you are a zygote, shush!

When Cherry says to Ponyboy, she could fall in love with Dallas Winston so she hopes she never sees him m again. When I was a kid reading this,familar with The Breakfast Club, Grease, etc, this seemed like a natural statement.

Now? My first thought was "Oh honey, you're more screwed up than I remembered." Because from their first interaction, Cherry would fall in love with a catcalling construction worker.

Ponyboy says that Dallas said something "Really filthy".  In the movie, he asks Cherry howhe was suppose to know if her hair was really red, like her eyebrows were. A roundabout way of asking if the carpet matches the drapes. Bad enough and in the context of the 1960's that might have been dirty enough to be censored from the orginal manuscript, but I always imagined it was worse than that.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, after all, Dally wasn't so much a step up or down from Bob, as a step to the side.

Honestly when I was fourteen and reading this for the first time, I didn't think much of Cherry, I thought she was fake, and very stupid. She was older than me, but I knew it was massively fucked up not to admit she dated a bad guy.

  I see her as sad now, and she's a much darker character She's painted as someone with integrity, someone with principles.

She wouldn't take a Coke from Dally.

She tells Bob that it's her or the booze.

Won't take a pop from a hood, threatens to break it off with her boyfriend if he continues to drink. Okay, understandable.

Realize he beat the tar out of, and pschologically scarred a kid for kicks?

He was sweet sometimes.

What?

He was something special.

She says to the kid he and his friends attempted to murder. 

"He wasn't just any boy."

Right you are, Cherry. Incidentally, did you have any pets disappear while you dated him?

She's a mixed up girl.

I had many a head cannon for the characters in this book when I first read it.

I thought Ponyboy would grow up to be a writer, Darryl would open his own roofing business, Soda and Steve would work for him while fixing cars on the side. Two-Bit would work with them when he felt like it, or he would end up hitching to California to be a stand-up comic.

I thought Cherry would end up married to someone who worked for her father, who I imagined was a lawyer.

After this read through? I adjusted that future.

We met Randy again in That was Then, This Is Now. He's a hippie, which makes perfect sense. I see Cherry running off to Haight Ashbury. I don't get farther than losing sight of her red hair on a crowded, sunny sidewalk, but I get the same spooky vibe I always got after reading Rumble Fish.

Something else that hit differently, the relationships between the boys.

It hit differently for me because I know now why I love it so much.

I remember being  in a major reading slump before I picked up this book. See, I couldn't get into the books that were marketed to me. I wasn't in to RL Stine, except for the history of Fear Street books. I couldn't get into Christopher Pike at all.

I was reading mysteries and westerns, but I really wanted something that had people my age in it that wasn't a romance or sick lit. I'd read enough of those, and I thought that if I read one more book where boy meets girl then one of them croaks I would scream.

So I went to my mom's bookshelf, and found her copy.

I really loved that the real connections that are focused on, are between friends and family. These connections were not treated as being less than a romantic relationship. In fact, just the opposite, the gang see each other as their cement relationships. Soda and his girlfriend Sandy break up, he's hurt and it adds to an already rough time, but it is not a focus.

I suppose it could be argued that the reason for the lack of focus on romance has to do with the fact that Pony states that he's not thinking of it yet. But seeing how all of the gang look out for each other from Darryl keeping the Curtis's door unlocked in case one of the boys needed a place to crash, to everyone looking out for Johnny, to Johnny staying with Pony when he was upset after his fight with Darry, and looking out for him when they were in hiding, to Dallas helping them find a place to go after Bob was killed, to Pony sticking by Johnny after the killing, to Two-Bit sticking up for Johnny when his mother came to the hospital  and how broken up he was when Ponyboy got sick, and finally how one of Johnny's last acts was to write Ponyboy a letter that he hoped would help both Pony and Dallas.

These are not friendships that end when everyone starts dating.

This seems like a "duh" statement, but you have to think, so many things show friendships as training wheels. Something you use until you reach the next level and find a romantic partner. And, maybe this was just my small town, but that was very much the way things went around me, it was expected.

It was great to read a book about kids around my age who didn't see friendships as inferior to romantic relationships.

Now, knowing that I'm Aro Ace, I think I liked it because it spoke to what I thought was important without making it seem like something I needed to grow out of.

The extras were cool, letters between the author and the editors when the book was in the works, letters from the actors who played Pony, Johnny, Soda, Dallas, and Randy.

It was interesting to read the actors' feelings about characters they played so early in their careers. I was half hoping Matt Dillon would apologize for choking on, and embodying that gigantic piece of ham during the death scene, but one can't get everything in life.

I could read the other SE Hinton books, and talk about the connections between them, but I will likely skip That was Then, This is Now and Rumble Fish.

See, I didn't like That Was Then This Is Now very much when I first read it. A big reason? I didn't like Bryon. There was just something about the character that rubbed me the wrong way.

He's... I don't know... he's like Two-Bit without the charm. Plus, Ponyboy is featured, but Bryon hates him. It seems out of jelousy because of all the stuff that had happened in The Outsiders. And he hates him even more *because* he's quiet about it. I get distancing the last book from the next and that was an effective way of doing it, but when I was younger it just made me not like the character all the more.

I've read it a few times since I was younger, wondering if it would improve as I aged. It didn't.

Bryon is still mostly unlikeable. Plus, I grew up in the Frying an Egg, Diving into an Empty Swimming Pool, DARE, era of drug awareness. The whole book felt like a PG-13 version of The Buttercream Gang. Now that I have sufficiently aged myself...

Rumble Fish, I loved, but like I said, it's an unsettling story and one that left me oddly unsatisfied.

I really enjoyed the next two, Tex and Taming the Star Runner so I may revisit those.

[letterboxd]

We Bought a Cryptozoo.

As their kaleidoscopic new film Cryptozoo lands in theaters, filmmakers Dash Shaw and Jane Samborski talk to Jack Moulton about misguided compassion, the beholder’s share, Akira, Watership Down and life imitating art.

“Occasionally we watch a horror movie together, but I like to do things while I watch and Dash wants the lights down. We spend so much time together working so when it comes time to relax, I want to be as far away from him as possible.” —Jane Samborski

“Jurassic Park on acid.” This is the mystical world of Cryptozoo, the new film from personal and professional couple Jane Samborski and Dash Shaw. Cryptozoo takes place in a 1960s hippie society where mythological beings—griffins, krakens, unicorns, gorgons and the like, collectively known as cryptids—live among humans, though unhappily, since people have a habit of hunting them down.

We meet Lauren (voiced by Lake Bell), a protector of cryptids, on a mission to rescue a baku—a Japanese supernatural creature that devours dreams—from the military, who plan to weaponize its powers. However, in collecting all the cryptids into a sanctuary that feels more like a mall (echoes of Disney’s Epcot are plainly hinted at), the cryptozookeepers begin to realize that those they’re trying to safeguard are likely better off without their assistance.

Loaded with clear allegories for xenophobia and colonialism, Cryptozoo has proven both a hit and a miss among Letterboxd members with the nature of its metaphors, even if we can all agree it absolutely skewers white-people-savior complexes. Shaw and Samborski placed careful focus on the casting, for example, enlisting Greek actress Angeliki Papoulia to portray Phoebe, a Medusa-esque character from Greek mythology, who assists Lauren in her journey to locate the baku, and provides an essential perspective and critique on Lauren’s overzealous activism.

Steeped in detailed and surreal world-building, the kaleidoscopic, hand-drawn approach can become pure sensory overload. More than a few of our members felt compelled to light up first and check it out again if it ever hits Adult Swim. But among those happy to be overwhelmed, Andrew found himself “captivated by its tactile imagery; its texture and sketch and color, the full-body chills and immense sense of self—it is beautiful and passionate.”

Cryptozoo premiered earlier this year at Sundance, where it picked up the NEXT Innovator Award for its makers. (Although only Shaw is credited as director, Cryptozoo uses an ‘A Film By’ credit to emphasize Samborski’s visionary contribution as animation director.) The couple had previously collaborated on Shaw’s debut feature, My Entire High School Sinking into the Sea, which is much more of a roughly sketched-out daydream, whereas Cryptozoo represents a more serious shift, and a step up in ambition and craft.

Making films is far from Shaw’s only enterprise. After graduating from the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan, he has written comic books, graphic novels, lyrics and plays. Meanwhile, Samborski has appeared in several films as an actress, and lent her animation skills to productions including Netflix’s Thirteen Reasons Why. Among their animation influences, the pair have mentioned the films of Ralph Bakshi, Suzan Pitt’s Asparagus, René Laloux’s Fantastic Planet, Takeshi Tamiya’s Astroboy and the century-old films of Winsor McCay and Lotte Reiniger (especially The Adventures of Prince Achmed).

Shaw and Samborski sat down with Jack Moulton for a chat about expanding the scale of their work, life imitating art, the “heft and violence of Watership Down” and the best comic-book film ever made.

‘Cryptozoo’ director Dash Shaw and animation director Jane Samborski.

What stuck out to me when I finished the film was your ‘A Film By’ credit; it wasn’t just Dash, it had Jane’s name as well. How were the directing responsibilities divided in order to explain that credit? Dash Shaw: It just felt like the most accurate way to describe the movie.

Jane Samborski: I make a lot of the decisions about character acting and I’m taking the voices and using them to inform my understanding about the characters. In some cases, I was able to use video reference of the actors, but most of their physical mannerisms are coming from my brain, so in that way I’m taking a directorial role. While there’s a huge amount of the aesthetic direction that’s coming from me, Dash is definitely the one steering the overall ship. There were a few instances in the film where I got a little off-message and he pulled me back.

DS: Maybe it’s even more confusing with animated movies because people are doing a lot of different things, so when it comes to crediting we talk about what we think makes the most sense. We could have written our names on the backgrounds to try and figure out who drew what, but it just seemed like a film by the both of us.

JS: Everything is by us, except this thing, and this thing, and this thing…

What I found really interesting about the film is the way that all the characters are so fallible. It demonstrates how an egocentric allyship can do more harm than good. Why was it important for you to explore that idea of misguided compassion? DS: I think that that happened while trying to do something else. I had seen this Winsor McCay short, The Centaurs, and I wanted to write something Jane would enjoy painting. My first idea was about mythological beings, and then the next idea was that they were from actual mythologies in our culture and instead of being a fantasy world, they’re in our world.

That is when my mind went to these things that you talked about, like museums attempting to take imaginations from all over different cultures and introduce them to the public, and how that often damages the power of those artworks. There’s definitely a Cryptozoo movie that could’ve been made by a different person that didn’t get into any of this stuff, but because of my personality, those things ended up being embedded in the script.

You embraced the opportunity to utilize thin lines in Cryptozoo, as opposed to the thicker lines of My Entire High School Sinking into the Sea, which opens up what you can achieve cinematically. Can you talk about expanding that scale and how that may have approached your limitations? JS: It definitely was one of the first aesthetic decisions that was made in the film. There’s a broad simplicity to High School Sinking, so we wanted to zero in on fewer but more specific drawings. I was doing quite a bit of minor puppet work, especially in the latter parts of High School Sinking. I really love working in that way, so this was a match that played to an aesthetic that I responded to for a long time. It was logistically a lot more difficult as it’s very hard to turn in space with a puppet, so there were definitely times where we would run up against a problem and then throw out our rulebook and do cell animation. But I think that is the joy of setting up your own rules—you keep them as long as they’re useful to you.

Your film acknowledges very early on that “utopias never work out”. On the other hand, perhaps utopias never work out in movies because they’re just not dramatically interesting to explore when they succeed. What are your thoughts on sculpting a utopia in commercialized fiction? DS: You kind of know that it’s going to fail as soon as the movie starts. It’s a good fall. I find utopian art very inspiring and beautiful and that’s what I like about a lot of the art of the 1960s. I would not put this movie up against that imagery.

JS: Yeah, a utopia is certainly something we all want to experience but not necessarily something we want to hear a story about.

DS: That’s something that’s famously said about what’s really powerful about early seasons of Star Trek, and seeing all of these different people working together.

I imagine it was strange to be working on Cryptozoo for so many years, and then you have a storming-the-capital scene in your film, which premiered at Sundance only a couple of weeks after it happened in the real world (for very different reasons). How did that make you feel regarding the film’s timing? JS: It was a bit of a freak out!

DS: It was strange, even if we didn’t have that line in our movie, just to see that going on. It made me think of this art school thing, the “beholder’s share”, where the artists make 80 percent of the work in their time and place, and then the last twenty percent is completed in the viewer’s mind, in their own time and their place. You have to love that hand-off.

JS: The world changed so much over the course of making the film. Dash wrote the film before Trump was elected President. We started out with a script that we thought was talking about really interesting things that felt a little bit further away. As we worked on the project, it got closer and more real, so we just hoped that we were able to talk about it with honesty. The project feels like something larger than us and that’s really exciting.

When you look at some of the reactions, you can see how it’s really easy for audiences to dismiss the movie as too weird, but I do feel there are many accessible and mainstream elements to the plot. What are your instincts for playing in and out of the comfort zone? DS: One of my first ideas for wanting to make animated movies is that they would have a pop-art quality. They would be blockbuster movies that have been defamiliarized—they’ve been messed up, disorientated, changed, altered in some way. High School Sinking is like Titanic, and Cryptozoo is like Jurassic Park. There’s a blockbuster movie inside of them, but we keep veering away or disrupting it in some way that might make it seem stranger. It was right there as one of the first missions of making these films.

JS: I feel very differently. I love the experimental stuff, but if there wasn’t a clear story through-line, I would get bored. It’s the perennial music-video problem—it’s all gloss and no heft. So we have that clear action-adventure storyline to pull you through this crazy ride. We feel differently about what it’s doing for the audience, but it seems to be working, whichever one of us is right!

Are there any hidden or background details in the animation that you’re concerned people will miss? JS: For me, if somebody felt that there was so much going on that they wanted to watch it two or three times and they found something new each time, that would be the best thing ever. The idea that I would be able to make something that is worth multiple viewings far outstrips worrying that somebody is going to miss something I did.

What was the film that made you want to become a filmmaker? DS: I wonder if Jane is going to say Watership Down…

JS: I am! That was my favorite movie as a child. I liked to torture my friends with it. It’s particularly that segment right at the beginning when they tell the myth of El-Ahrairah—it’s so expressive and less representational, but it also has this heft and violence. It was definitely the first adult animated film that I saw. My parents wouldn’t buy it for me because it was at the local library, so we’d rent it again and again and I’d watch that beginning segment over and over and it would get scratchier and scratchier, so eventually the VHS just snapped from me watching it so many times.

DS: I would have to really dive deep to come up with a really good answer to that but for some reason the one that pops into my head right now is Todd Haynes’ Poison. I saw it at the School of Visual Arts. Poison felt like a collage movie with three different parts that kept pulling a special combination of ingredients. It felt like an art film and it also had very overt genre elements that were being used in an unusual way. It was one of the key movies to me that had a great independent spirit.

El-Ahrairah faces a challenge in the prologue to ‘Watership Down’ (1978).

What animated films have you seen recently that blew you away? DS: I want to plug an incredible movie we just saw at the Annecy International Animation Film Festival, Bubble Bath, which is a restored Hungarian film from 1980. I hope it will get a US release.

JS: We were also lucky enough to see an exhibit [at Annecy] for Michel Ocelot. I had seen the Kirikou films, which are phenomenal. I really like his work.

Do you have any movies that you often watch together? DS: We really don’t watch movies together. I wish she would watch movies with me!

JS: Occasionally we watch a horror movie together, but I like to do things while I watch and Dash wants the lights down. We spend so much time together working so when it comes time to relax, I want to be as far away from him as possible.

DS: I’m really glad we saw Bubble Bath together.

JS: That one was just amazing.

You’re a comic book writer, Dash. What’s the greatest comic-book movie ever? DS: Akira.

JS: Yeah, hands down.

Related content

Our animation correspondents Kambole Campell and Alicia Haddick in conversation about the 2021 Annecy International Animation Film Festival

Letterboxd’s Top 100 Animated Feature Films, a list by Rahat Ahmed

Vulture’s The 100 Sequences that Shaped Animation list on Letterboxd

Follow Jack on Letterboxd

‘Cryptozoo’ is currently screening in select US theaters.

[muthaz-rapapa]

HealPre Final Review: Not terrible but not entirely laudable either...

*sigh* Where do I start?

Well, one thing I’m pretty sure of is that COVID definitely affected production somehow. By that, I don’t just mean the show needing to go on hiatus, resulting in a shorter run compared to previous seasons. I’m also talking about any possible changes that might’ve been made to the original narrative, if there was one.

Much like how Suite’s story had to be altered in the wake of the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami disaster, I believe Heal underwent a similar treatment in response to the pandemic becoming more widespread as 2020 went on.

Especially since it dealt with health and nature, HealPre is probably the season that has come the closest in relevancy to real life events.

Frankly, that can be quite scary because this virus was and is still a fucking nightmare on a massive global scale. From that view, I can understand why the writers/producers would be concerned of the anime hitting too near home. At least for their main demographic’s (children) sake, maybe they were compelled to shift to something lighter and less edgier so that the kids could find some comfort and enjoyment in the midst of the world’s current crisis.

So I can’t fault Toei for that, if that’s really the case. Going through a pandemic is terrifying, infuriating and exhausting and UGH. We could use something that can help ease our worries or momentarily distract us even a little bit. 

Though would it have killed them to dedicate one episode to the importance of wearing a mask or washing hands? (-_- ;;)

HOWEVER! Seeing as I am not a fragile child, I’ve still got several (oho~) criticisms to air out before I put this season behind me. This review isn’t particularly scathing but...there is a lot of discontent so you’ve been forewarned.

But first, let’s tediously review what structure means in Precure.

We all know that there are certain things that will forever (?) remain fixed in the series formula.

The plot is always going to be “magical girls fight evil doers threatening to ruin the world”.

There are plot points to indicate story progression but in reality, are put there to correspond with toy releases which are usually marked by these five: introductions, first power up, midseason Cure, second power up, and build-up to the climax + finale.

There is usually a specific message (a theme) to be told with every season and motifs (narrative tools) to aid in getting that across. For HealPre, the theme is “living is fighting” and its motifs are “health” and “nature”.

I left out “animals” b/c 1) it didn’t hold as much significance as the other two did, 2) animals are part of nature anyway and 3) let’s be real, it’s just a synonym for “mascots” which we already get every year. :P

Right. I’m probably forgetting something but for the most part, these are immovable pillars of Precure.

Story, on the other hand, has more variables you can work with.

Story is how you tell the plot, how you convey the message.

Precure, as a tv series, is unarguably carried by its main stars, the Cures. So it only makes sense that a huge percentage of a season’s success owes itself to how much of an impact its characters had on the audience as well as how effective their individual story arcs were as sub-plots tying back to the bigger picture (the message/theme).

Ideally, these arcs would shine the brightest in the filler episodes, where the plot  (“good guys vs. bad guys”) is less of a focus so there is more space for personal development and growth.

Also, not all character arcs have to be directly related to the plot but they ought to be written well in order to support the overarching message (the theme).

Now, has HealPre done that? Has each girl’s story demonstrated a good example of what “living is fighting” means?

...nnnnnnyyeeee... look, even I can’t give a straightforward answer on that because while technically they did, by virtue of Nodoka’s observance in ep 44 recounting it as such, there’s also actually not enough to make it feel substantial from a viewer’s standpoint.

At least, that’s what I thought while watching HealPre.

With the exception of Nodoka’s, there was a lot of saying but not much doing to convincingly back the other girls’ arcs up. The fillers themselves were very weak, loosely composed in relation to the motifs and, if I may be so blunt, downright boring that if Nodoka didn’t phrase those episodes as things that counted towards the theme, I probably would put up more of a fight on disagreeing. so shoot me, I’m soft for her :P

And I know that sounds confusing right now but I will elaborate as I continue.

Before that though, to be utterly fair, some seasons keep their respective themes shrouded in vagueness until they’re given a more concrete form in words around the finale. So it’s not like we can do much except make educated guesses on what they really are. Most of the time, we’re just measuring everything against our perception of a standard in the fog. Or maybe that’s just me?

Nevertheless, you can just tell, y’know? By simply watching and observing the whole show, you can tell if the characterization, the development, and the outcome (essentially the content given) really live up to what the season claims is endgame.

So let’s go through that first then. The characters, starting with our lead Cure...

Nodoka being the only Cure in her team to have an arc deserving of the praise “exceptional” should come as a surprise to no one.

She was the most solid in terms of direction on how her story was going to proceed. Out of all the girls, her journey had the greatest connection to the subject “health”, repeatedly delved into it every time the spotlight was on her and fulfilled everything it seemed to promise from her debut in episode 1.

Her struggles on the road to recovery from a long-term illness and the strength she’s drawn from that traumatizing experience as well as her time as Precure did more than establish her as the strongest character in HealPre.

She has also rose to become one of the most memorable Pink Cures in the entire franchise (personally, I rank her in the top 5).

And it’s not hard to see why she’s earned such high regard in a lot of fans’ hearts.

The writers clearly worked a lot on her character composition to the point where she can pretty much embody the theme of “living is fighting” all on her own.

She came into HealPre fresh out of the hospital and full of earnest desire to make the most of her newfound freedom but she also wasn’t without knowledge on what hardship is. From there, she only got stronger, even when she was stumbling and trying to figure things out along the way. She grew more fortified in her beliefs on what it means to be truly live a healthy life.

She bravely defied the ones who attempted to take advantage of her and twist her cause against her. And she learned that taking care of herself is equally as important as wanting others to be safe from harm.

It was never about winning or coming out on top. It was about protecting a fundamental yet precious truth. That one thing any decent human being should never have to concede: the right to live well.

Honestly, Nodoka is absolutely inspiring all around, as a fictional character, a heroine and a normal everyday person.

Everything about her arc went satisfyingly right like it was meant to and the best thing is, we don’t need to question it because we saw how it all happened with our very own eyes.

I sincerely wished I could say the same for the others but sadly, they were just too flawed.

And Pegitan can throw flippers with me all day if he wants but as undeniable as the above statements are about Chiyu, her arc failed to leap over the increasingly mounting disappointment I had with every episode that’s been assigned solely to her.

Two of which weren’t even about Chiyu. One centered on Pegitan’s admiration for his partner and the other focused on her brother, Touji. Which, while nice to give to supporting/secondary characters, is a fat waste of valuable screentime and not what I’m here for.

It also didn’t help that the conflict of her arc (the indecision over choosing between two dreams) started really late in the game and was resolved so quickly within two episodes. There was no time for me to get invested into it, there was no powerful sense of conviction like how Go!Pri or Hugtto handled theirs and really, it just felt like Chiyu was only following what the script dictated for her rather than genuinely awakening to her own competitive passion towards track and field.

It was almost like it didn’t matter. Almost as if the writers procrastinated in thinking up something worthwhile to further her development...but then settled on grabbing an old idea off the shelf without refining it to suit Chiyu when they ran out of time.

This happened similarly with Minami in Go!Pri and Elena in StarPre, both of whom left me angry at how their arcs were executed. Yet theirs don’t compare to how pissed off I am about Chiyu’s. Because while Minami’s took a while to arrive, it wasn’t done poorly and linked back to Go!Pri’s theme well enough. And while Elena’s was over crammed last minute, at least it was unique to her character and had lots of potential ways to play out if they actually started it earlier on in StarPre.

Chiyu’s arc is like a discount version of the former with hardly any of the intriguing qualities of the latter. Sure, she had two early episodes that laid out the two most important aspects of her life (her family inn and her dedication to her sport) but after that, they weren’t brought up again until we were only weeks away from the ending. Y’know, just to fill up episode slots and meet the minimal requirement of saying they did give Chiyu some issue to resolve. 

It was not engaging at all.

Furthermore, the fact that her arc had very little to no relation with either “health” or “nature” hurt my appreciation of her character somewhat. I just...don’t think her kind of story really matches with the central topics of HealPre?

...but maybe I’m being bitter about this all wrong and that’s screwing up my rational thinking on this matter.

Because Chiyu’s arc is valid under the logic of the overall theme, I would never say it isn’t. And again, character arcs don’t have to be close to the plot nor is it necessary to employ the “suffering builds character” method to make them interesting.

Chiyu always does her best every day. That’s sufficient argument on why her story does fit within the frame of HealPre’s premise.

Guess I’ll just have to wrangle my resistance into acceptance somehow.

...still, her arc could’ve been done so much better than what we were given. Chiyu at least deserved that much.

Next, Hinata.

Since the beginning, I knew she was gonna be runner-up to Nodoka for having the (for lack of better term atm) “best” arc because it was heavily implied that she has ADHD and therefore, immediately checked off the “health” trait. She was even more obvious about it than Nozomi was.

Difficulty paying attention, hyperactivity, impulsiveness. Hinata didn’t just display all those signs, she also showed how hard it was for her to deal with the downsides to them on a regular basis.

She kept apologizing and put herself down excessively for inconveniencing her friends even though they never blamed her for her condition. Got them annoyed a few times, yes, but didn’t stop them from staying friends with her and definitely didn’t make them hate her either.

Everybody was understanding of Hinata...except Hinata because she always took her failures to heart and considered quitting several times to avoid the crushing dejection of making mistakes over and over again.

She got better, though, and no one could have summed it up more heartwarmingly than Nyatoran with the encouraging words he gave her at the conclusion of her arc. 

But it still feels like there’s a huge chunk of development missing between the start and finish. Or rather, it seemed like all of it occurred offscreen and we were only informed later that it did in fact, happen.

To recap, iirc, Hinata had around 5 episodes that focused on her (ep 9, 13, 23, 35 and 40). Ep 18 doesn’t count because that was a Nyatoran-centric filler more than anything.

Ep 9 and 13 did their jobs of introducing and highlighting the details of Hinata’s troubles while also suggesting she will eventually learn to overcome her insecurities. The ones after, though? They pushed those issues to the backseat.

In Ep 23, she had to share the (uneven) spotlight with Asumi. Hinata’s improvements were briefly mentioned but the majority of the ep went to teaching Asumi what “cute” meant and how to get along with puppies. I mean, I get that Asumi recently joined the group and bonding with her was mandatory by tradition. But since each Cure only gets a limited number of eps to herself, it would’ve been more beneficial for Hinata if she didn’t have to split screentime with someone else’s growth schedule.

Ep 35 is slightly better but not by a whole lot. Sure, Natasha was able to reconcile with Elizabeth which was very sweet and heck, it was the goal for that episode. But again, nothing was really done or addressed about Hinata’s main conflict. She tossed it back with the rest of her homework to deal with later. ahaha, a TroPre hint

Then ep 40 came to formally close the curtains on her story and apparently, Hinata screwed up lots of times since...whenever but she picked herself up every time after and kept on trying. Awesome. So WHY didn’t we get to see that? 

I’m not asking for the impossible here. I’m not asking for Hinata to be cured or anything miraculous like that. There is treatment available for ADHD but it is not curable.

Also, forcing Hinata to find a way to get better at studying, the thing she struggles with the most, is not the solution either because that would only make her more stressed and anxious over her own disorder.

What I want is to see how she moved from wailing “I can’t do it! I don’t wanna! I’m so scared of failing so why bother?!” to determinedly declaring “So what if I failed 1 or 100 times? So what if I fail another 1000 times? What matters is that I don’t let that stop me!”

That confidence is not something that can be built up overnight. It’s gradual and it takes numerous tries to reach from where Hinata was to where Hinata is now.

Telling me she grew emotionally stronger can only allow me to believe so much. I need to actually witness the changes as well.

If it weren’t for that, Hinata’s arc would have been a lot more impressive. Shame.

Finally............... Asumi.

Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi, Asumi... *sighs & drums fingers*

...she has no arc, ok? Seriously, what story is there to speak of, much less write a hefty analysis on?

A spirit born for the sake of Latte who just went along with the Precure ride because Latte didn’t want to abandon her duty. She made friends with those who aren’t Latte, extended her knowledge and understanding and gained valuable human experience during her stay on Earth. But ultimately, she will always define her entire existence around a puppy. 

Nothing is more important than this puppy.

...... to be honest, Asumi not having a storyline isn’t what bothers me. It’s her lack of depth that does.

Hell, even the giant burger she ate had more depth than she did!

Oh, Asumi does have a personality alright. She’s consistently and unfailingly polite, utterly devoted to her raison d’être and in crucial moments, gives pearls of wisdom when the girls are in a pinch. She’s good.

But if that’s all she is, then she’s also painfully dull.

She has nothing to contribute to the discussion of health or nature, despite being created through an element of the Earth so you’d think she’d have an opinion of her own. At least worry about the planet that gave life to her as much as she frets over Latte all the time. But nope.

She shares the exact same face as Teatine’s past Precure partner so you’d think we’d explore that connection to see if it would influence or affect her in any way. But nope.

90% of the time, her role was just being Latte’s constant, fawning satellite.

Not only did that irritate the hell out of me but it just reinforced my stance that this type of character is one of the worst you can ever insert into any narrative.

Because if someone keeps reiterating how much they’re obsessed with this one thing and seldom talks about anything else without bringing their obsession into it... then what’s so special about them on their own?

You’ve practically surrendered the different qualities you could have had for worship of something else. That’s not a fair trade-in.

Asumi’s character is so packed with Latte-related stuff that there’s not much space left for anything that can be considered uniquely Asumi.

I mean, maybe it’s because I can never see myself or any normal person comfortable with living like that.

Living for the sake of being together with the one you love? Okay. But living with your whole universe revolving around that one thing? Making most if not all decisions based on this one thing?

No. That’s absolutely crazy, alright? Nobody with a healthy amount of awareness and self-worth would live like that.

And you can counter that Asumi’s just born like that. That she can’t help her origins because Teatine’s wish to protect her daughter is essentially what brought Asumi into existence so of course, her biggest concern would be Latte. At least, she wasn’t forced into it, right? As long as Asumi chose of her own will to follow Latte, it should be fine, right?

You can even use the fact that Asumi isn’t human. That she’s a spirit and we shouldn’t apply our human standards too strictly to her.

Yea, but those are feeble defenses in the face of her being a good main character, a good main heroine. 

There are many ways to make a decent MC. The way Asumi was written proves she certainly does not possess traits that can classify her as true protagonist material. A protagonist has to be more than one amplified feature, which Asumi is not.

For the record, I don’t hate Asumi (she’s not interesting enough to generate a feeling that intense). I'm just severely let down because even if I don’t end up loving the midseason Cure for whatever reason, I can usually count on them to bring something intriguing to the table to dissect and analyze. At least I should find something to care about them.

Didn’t happen with her. :(

Oh god, I’ve been working on this post for days now and I’ve got a headache and with the baton pass happening in less than a few hours as I type this, I just really need to get it done and over with so please forgive me for speeding up through the rest, I’ll try to keep it as coherent as possible. NYARGH! (@_@ ;;)

Mascots.

Would you be surprised to hear that I’m not surprised that they were actually written very well?

Like I said early on, I suspected the return of fairy partnerships were going to improve the mascots’ significance in the story and, well, I was right. 

This time, they didn’t just fill in the usual expectations of relaying exposition, serving as the Cures’ transformation devices and looking cute for the merchandise. The Healing Animals had to make progress on their own training to become doctors as well.

And they did through their relationships with their human partners.

It was a refreshing take on the mascot aspect of the series because the friendships felt really symbiotic. When the trainees arrived on Earth, they relied on the girls to help them perform their jobs as well as provide them with shelter, food, the occasional peptalk about their trainee status, etc.

Then as the story continued and they got to know each other better, the mascots were able to return the favor by giving support when the Cures needed it. Rabirin when Nodoka was frightened and confused about how to deal with Daruizen, Pegitan when Chiyu was having trouble choosing between two dreams and Nyatoran who made sure to always lift Hinata’s spirits up when she got upset at herself.

In short, they achieved their objectives of learning what it means to be good doctors by being there for their friends! How wonderful! :D

My memory for Latte is hazy, unfortunately, since she’s coddled by everyone all the time (can’t blame them, she’s friggin’ adorable! <3) but I’ll never forget how she stood firm on the battlefield to see things through, to fight for the Earth like she promised her mother. She started out so babie but showed us all there was enormous bravery behind her cute face and ugh, we should all be very proud of her! <3

The only major issues I had about the mascots were these:

1) Too many irrelevant fillers went to them. They only needed a maximum of two for their entire mascot group.

2) Latte kept getting sick even after she acquired a Precure partner of her own. I was hoping it wouldn’t hurt her as much as it did before Asumi arrived or that she would build up a stronger immunity but noooo, they insisted on torturing the poor pupper! T_T

Villains + Finale Battle

Not a lot needs to be said for the first part. We’ve had mediocre antagonists before. HealPre’s just happened to be extra annoying as they were despicable. 

Which is worse because jerks you can just leave in the trash but assholes won’t stop harassing you unless you pummel them into their graves, set fire to their corpses and leave no trace of them behind! >:(

Y’all know who I’m talking about. Opinions on him continue to vary depending on who you talk to and if they’re avid fans of his face or not but whatever. The son of a bitch served his purpose and is dead now. That’s all that matters to me.

Anyway, the King was flat like his two lesser generals. He was neither intimidating nor distinguished enough in the brand of evil to really make us think of him as a serious threat and because of that, it ended up making the boss fight look like any run of the mill boss fight.

I know, they tried so hard with all that shiny animation but it just didn’t have that glorious sense of vindication that previous seasons (or ep 42) gave and I blame it all on this Rumiko Takahashi reject.

Also, this strategy was pretty useless?

They built it up like Earth was gonna sacrifice herself and die or something (she wouldn’t and even if she came close, deus ex machina would’ve kicked in to prevent that and COVID-induced caution too I guess). 

But there were no signs of pain (well, that’s a relief) after absorbing Shindoi-ne and they really pissed King Byogen off more than they did any damage with the absorbed byo-gen power.

...so yea, this tactic was just to kill some time and budget, nothing more. Meh.

By the way, did Asumi eject Shindoi-ne’s pathogen out of her body yet or did they just leave it in there to bounce around until it eventually dissolves on its own?

Because that’s eww. I mean, it’s obviously not gonna hurt Asumi they can both relate on hyperfocusing their affection for someone so maybe the compatibility helps :P but still, ewwwww.

Fillers + Underused Motifs

In hindsight, perhaps HealPre didn’t exactly promise the content we I wanted about “health” and “nature” if their objective was to teach that any manner of “fighting” can count towards “living”.

......but fuck you Toei, you’re still cowards! >:/

Fillers will be fillers but it’s always better to try and make some of them as meaningful as possible. And they wasted the opportunity to inform an impressionable audience (during a very crucial period of our time, I must add) on a lot of things related to the HealPre’s motifs. Especially about the environment which for some ridiculous reason, they chose not to touch on for the main stretch of the overall story.

Proper hygiene, good diet plan and sleeping habits, regular exercise (already done by the girls a few times but could use another example), meditation, counseling/therapy (especially for mental health!), etc.

Real life pollution, climate change/global warming (IMPORTANT!!), deforestation, preservation vs conservation, endangered species, recycling, volunteering to clean up your community, etc.

These just came off the top of my head but yes, there’s more and no, I’m not saying that the writers need to cover all of them in extreme detail or replace the slice-of-life episodes.

But they should be able to mesh both serious and light-hearted together in harmony somehow. Like those fillers where the mascots saw people cleaning up littering at the park or that interaction with that arborist who taught them about wild animals and trees when the group went to visit a lake.

For health, maybe let the girls visit patients with chronic illness in the hospital or have them converse with a medical professional on some matter. Particularly if it’s got something to do with mental illness because stigma in Japan on those who are afflicted with such conditions is still prevalent and has caused a number of sad and shocking tragedies that could have otherwise been avoided if people didn’t have such outdated, judgmental mindsets.

That last part might be too dark for a children’s anime but there’s a lot more out there that is doable.

Do that without reducing it into a footnote, Toei. It is so necessary for your target audience to be aware of these issues at the age they are now. You have an almost 20-year old franchise to serve as a very effective platform. Make better use of it if you truly care about the message you’re conveying through your show!

Also, what the fuck.

The last episode was a mess. Why are you only mentioning this now when the season is already over?

This should’ve been brought up months ago!

All the things we could’ve seen the Cures done to protect the Earth without magic.

The excuse of “I didn’t know humans were so horrible!” is a shit one because everybody knows humans are deplorable trash when it comes to abusing the Earth. All the more reason why you have to persistently drill it into people’s heads that they should not be like those who don’t care or choose not to care.

One crack episode isn’t going to cut that.

God, I so want to unsee this ep just so I don’t have to end HealPre on a more sour note than it already was. *big aggrieved sigh*

Lastly (and this really is the end of my long ranting, I promise), the missing undisclosed lore.

There are few Precure seasons without a past lore of its own in the recent years. Is it a wonder, though?

Lore is mysterious and fascinating. If it involves a past Precure, even more so.

Sometimes fans might just hang onto a show because they’re curious about what happened before the main story. We’d never get the full tale of those adventures but at least, it’s fun to imagine the “prequel”.

Also, past Precure are just badass. Fact.

Strangely enough, we didn’t get that for Heal. All we know is that she was called “Fuu” and was very close to Teatine. 

Hmm. Probably one of those changes caused by COVID interference cuz I can’t imagine the writers choosing not to tell her past in the original draft.

With all that finally off my chest, I’m ready to part ways with you girls until the next All Stars (Nodoka, I’m gonna miss you so much! T_T)

HealPre wasn’t the worst and it was nowhere near the best that it had the potential to be. But it’s passable. At least for those who loved it even with its flaws, I’m genuinely glad it was good for you.

For those who are thinking about picking it up (although why you would read this spoilery post before watching, I have no idea), if you’re looking for a standard magical girl anime to enjoy casually, then this is a safe pick. If you really want to invest your attention and heart into it, though? Then perhaps it would be in your interest to ask someone who saw it already to help you filter out the episodes that are worth watching. You don’t need to worry about the rest, they’re inconsequential. :P

Ok then! Thanks for reading as always, brave souls who have reached this point. 

Stay healthy and safe out there and I’ll see you at the beach next week! Tropic underwater paradise here we coooooommmmmeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! xDDD

[bobbyshaddoe80]

Liberated Audio Reviews

Blake's 7 - The Liberator Chronicles Vol. 6

RELEASED OCTOBER 2013

Recorded on: 2, 10 and 30 October and 13 December 2012

Recorded at: Moat Studios

Review By Robert L. Torres

Incentive by Peter Anghelides

'The Liberator crew are recovering from a Galactic War and searching for their lost members Blake and Jenna. But it’s a search that leads them into terrible danger…'

Because this story marks the return of Steven Pacey to the role of Del Tarrant, I think it is best that I get my views on the character out of my system before getting to the rest of the review.

Honestly.... Out of the main characters that have come and gone on the show during its four season run, there are two that I do not count as my favorites.

The first is Soolin, largely due to how bland and one note the character was compared to the character she was brought on to replace in Series D... Cally.

The other character is Del Tarrant, and I shall endeavor to explain why I dislike him despite Steven Pacey's fine performance.

From the first moment he appeared on the show, there was something about him that just rubbed me the wrong way. For years I knew it was the character himself that seemed like the problem... But I could never work out why.

This story finally brought to light why I disliked Tarrant's character. He was a young, cocky, hot shot with loyalties only to himself... Basically a less charming and less endearing version of Star Lord. He was impatient, brash, and only seemed to be throwing in his lot with the resistance for no other reason than for fame and glory.

In addition, Tarrant seemed to go out of his way to get under everyone's skin (or rather just Avon's), and always bristled under Avon's command.

I understand that with Gareth Thomas having left the series, they needed to create a new character to go up against Avon on the decision making, much in the same way Avon used to butt heads with Blake. Except the dynamic between Avon and Tarrant, from what I remember, was different and far more antagonistic than it was between Blake and Avon. Avon was an Alpha dog, but Tarrant was also an Alpha dog. This is probably why most of their disagreements, from what I remember, tended to come across like dick wagging contests.

It has been a while since I saw the series proper, but there are only two things of any significance regarding Tarrant that I remember. The first was the Series C episode 'Death Watch', which I think involved his twin brother Deeta. The other was the episode 'Sand' from Series D, which involved him and Servalan being trapped on a planet together... Having conjugal relations.

While the character of Del Tarrant isn't my favorite, Anghelides does a pretty good job of at least attempting to shed a bit of light on his character. This is accomplished by focusing on his desperate desire to stand out from the crowd and make a name for himself on par with the legendary Blake and Jenna.

The story begins not long after Tarrant and Dayna have officially joined the crew. During their latest attempt to locate Blake and Jenna, Tarrant and Avon are captured and interrogated while strapped to an electro-shock lie detector. This dual focused narrative split is in itself a pretty interesting dig at unreliable narratives, especially given that both Tarrant and Avon receive electro shocks whenever they aren't being completely truthful in their recollections.

By the way, kudos to Adrian Lukis for his exquisite portrayal of Interrogator Bracheeni. The scenes that featured him interacting with Tarrant and Avon were actually some of the best parts of the story. The revelation of who and what Bracheeni is added a great deal to the narrative, especially in providing an explanation as to why the Liberator crew had to abandon the search for Blake and Jenna.

All things considered, it is nice to get an actual in-universe explanation as opposed to what actually happened: the plot thread being dropped without explanation, forcing viewers to accept the fact that Blake and Jenna weren't coming back... Ever.

While there are some interesting ideas and set ups featured in the story, the narrated recollections are not really that engaging. In addition, my problem with this story is the same problem I had with Volume Three's 'Armageddon Storm'. Its a narrated story that should have been done as a full cast audio.

Final Score: 6 out of 10 Plasma Bolts

As it stands, this story does its job of filling an hour and retroactively provides answers to lingering questions, thus making it essential. However, this is marred by being an uneven story that is only half engaging.

Jenna's Story by Steve Lyons

'Jenna's story is finally told - from her escape from the Liberator during the Galactic War, to her determination to continue the fight against the Federation alone… with the odds stacked against her.'

When Big Finish Productions obtained the rights to produce new stories set within Series A through C of Blake's 7, this not only opened up story avenues to provide greater focus stories for many of its characters, but also an opportunity to fill in a couple of gaps in the narrative.

While 'Incentive' was an uneven story, it still managed to do what the show itself was unable or unwilling to do at the time: explain why the Liberator crew abandoned their search for Blake and Jenna.

Answering lingering questions seems to be this boxset's central theme as the next two stories are focused on what happened to the characters that literally jumped ship at the end of Series B, Jenna and Blake.

According to dialogue spoken by Cally in early Series C, it was always assumed that Jenna was with Blake when they abandoned ship during the Galactic War. It was also naturally assumed that Jenna had been with Blake the whole time during Series C and D.

Turns out that wasn't the case at all... Which actually works to the benefit of this story and the next.

Here, Jenna recounts how she spent her time surviving and fighting during the events of Series C and leading into Series D. It provides Sally Knyvette with great material and also serves as a reminder of what made me, personally, fall out of love with the series during Series D... Particularly with the way the series ended.

Let me be clear, as much I personally didn't like not having Blake and Jenna around on the show anymore, Steve Lyons managed to craft an exceptional Jenna-centric story that absolutely had to be told. This story, as well as the next one, managed to do a much better job implementing the central themes of what was meant to be on display during Series C and particularly during Series D: how the crusade that Blake started with hope and optimism slowly but surely devolved into cynicism, suspicion, self-interest and ultimately self-destruction.

This is highlighted well during Jenna's dealings with Correll, played by John Banks, and his disrespectfully dismissive attitude towards people with 'noble causes', his derogatory disbelief in 'heroes', as well as his overriding, self-serving self-interest.

Kudos to Banks for portraying someone that's basically an unlikeable, selfish jerk without becoming despicable.

The crux and climax of the story is based on a line of dialogue Blake tells Tarrant during the series finale regarding Jenna's ultimate fate. While the moment itself is thrilling and well executed, I had hoped that it was a lie as part of Blake's test or something. Still, what was crafted here is suitably tragic as it showcases the depths of Jenna's devotion, and even her love, for Blake.

The ultimate tragedy being that, in the end, she never did get to tell Blake how she felt about him... and how much he meant to her.

Final Score: 10 out of 10 Plasma Bolts

A superbly satisfying sendoff and sublime swansong for Sally's Stannis!

Blake's Story by Mark Wright and Cavan Scott

'Blake's story is finally told - from his escape from the Liberator during the Galactic War, to his new life as a troubled, scarred man on a distant rebel world…'

Before getting into the review, I have to state that while I understand the reasons why Gareth Thomas and Sally Knyvette left the show at the end of Series B, it is my opinion that the show lost quite a bit of its inherent identity once Blake and Jenna were gone.

While many contend that promoting the late Paul Darrow to lead actor was the creative booster shot the show needed, there is a reason the show was still called Blake's 7 and not Avon's 7.

No matter who is given the spotlight and focus, Blake's presence is still very embedded within the show's DNA. Despite his absence, Blake's influence is still keenly felt by those that inhabit this fictional universe... Both directly and indirectly.

While the storytelling avenues may have opened up for the rest of the cast, the audience would still inevitably wonder, 'Where the hell is Blake? When is he coming back?' Largely because the audience was still interested in seeing Blake's story continue.

Both Gareth Thomas and Chris Boucher no doubt understood this to be absolutely true. As long as the Roj Blake character remained alive, but missing from a show that bared his character's name, then Gareth Thomas would not have been able to truly move forward in his career.

Which is why its no surprise that the most memorable moment in the entire series came about at Thomas' insistence.

But this isn't about how Blake's story ends... Its about the circumstances Blake experienced during Series C and D that led to his ultimate fate on Gauda Prime. And I am pleased to say that Wright and Scott do an excellent job filling in the blanks of Blake's journey.

From landing on the planet Epheron in his escape pod, to attempting to reunite with the Liberator (which includes Blake visiting the planet Shorlan post-Armageddon Storm), to being captured, tortured and accused of treachery by the Resistance (thus explaining the scar over his eye he displayed in the series finale), its all presented here brilliantly. I also appreciate how engaging these moments are, and aren't treated as plot points to check off.

The late Gareth Thomas really did a great job with this material, displaying the same charisma and intensity he had shown throughout his tenure on the show, which is doubly unfortunate that he had opted out after Series B.

The framing device utilized for Blake recounting events is brilliant, and the twist reveal is actually rather clever... If a little unsurprising. However, it serves the narrative well as it goes to the heart of the tragic and ironic inevitability that lies ahead for Blake, particularly in his connection to Avon.

Despite their disagreements and opposing ideals... And no matter how often Avon secretly wished to be rid of Blake... They still needed each other.

It often reminds me of why the Doctor chooses to travel with companions, the companions keep the Doctor grounded and keep the Doctor from going too far for the sake of selfish self interest and so on.

While neither one would ever admit it, Blake and Avon had the ability to keep each other in check. And even though Blake said at the end of 'Star One' and even near the end of this story that he always trusted Avon... Its only with the benefit of hindsight do we question whether or not that trust was warranted.

Final Score: 10 out of 10 Plasma Bolts

A truly satisfying sendoff for the original star of the show.

Final score for Volume 6 of the Liberator Chronicles, in its entirety, is 8 out of 10 Plasma Bolts.

This is an essential set of stories for longtime fans. Even though there are six more boxsets of stories left in the range, if the Liberator Chronicles audio range ended here, it would have ended on a major high note.

As an aside, while the next six boxsets have produced some outstanding stories, I personally feel that both 'Jenna's Story' and 'Blake's Story' should have been the stories utilized as the finale for the Liberator Chronicles range overall.

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[adhd-wifi]

Jiang Cheng’s Deepest Personal Struggles 

I spent more time on the title than I did the actual post. 

Note: Wei WuXian is also very present in this meta, because Jiang Cheng’s entire story and development is so heavily tied to him that you literally cannot separate Wei Ying from him. And I thought Lan Zhan was bad. 

Personally, I find Jiang Cheng’s traumas and internalized issues so much more interesting than his siblings’. Wei WuXian’s issues were much more dramatic and intense, but not uncommon in fiction, while Jiang YanLi’s issues were not explored in canon. With Jiang Cheng, we see so much of his development and how it is mostly negative in nature. However, even though Jiang Cheng’s development is negative more than positive, it’s very interesting to see how it affected him and how he does maintain his old personality even despite what he’s been through, which makes him the most realistic character out of the three siblings in my opinion. 

In other words, I fucking love Jiang Cheng as a character so fucking much even though there are times in which I would gladly throw a book in his face and if you tell me he’s a badly written character I will break into your home at 4am on a Tuesday night and rearrange all your furniture before stealing all your spoons and leave a 27-page essay on why you’re wrong in their place. 

(I won’t actually do that. I’m lazy. But not lazy enough to not write this long ass post I guess.)

So Jiang Cheng’s issues are extremely obvious to us, the audience, even more than WWX’s, despite WWX being the POV character. (This is probably due to WWX being a bit of an unreliable narrator, ignoring his own problems for JC’s sake, but we’ll get to that in another WWX post.) 

We know the main problem is how he was raised, with JFM and YZY as parents. Between the two, we see that JFM’s neglect and favouritism towards WWX was actually much more impactful and damaging to him than anything from YZY. JC wanted his father’s approval and love, and while YZY berated him for being worse than WWX, JC at least felt like his mother cared about him in some way. YZY’s abuse was still extremely damaging of course, and she definitely contributed to JC’s problems by constantly yelling about how JFM cared more about WWX in front of JC. Still, the main problem was this: JC felt like he wasn’t loved by his own father, and then felt like his mother spent more time being angry at WWX than caring for him. 

WWX and JYL also weren’t as there for him as they maybe should’ve. Yes, they actively showed more love and support to JC than their parents did, but the problem between the siblings is that WWX and JYL were unable to give JC what he specifically needed, and also JC lacked the communication skills to tell them what he needed. Of course, this is none of their faults. The three of them were raised under the same abusive parents and all had their own ways of coping with their traumas, as I’ve mentioned in my previous posts (WWX version, JYL version). Something both WWX and JYL had in common despite their difference in character and responses was that they tended to internalize things and smooth out the conflict present in their family, but while JC did also internalize things, this coping response didn’t work for him as it did with his siblings (well, it’s not that great, but they don’t struggle with it the way JC does). When you realize that both WWX and JYL are more reflective of JFM’s nature, but JC is closer to YZY instead, it makes sense. Like his mother, JC is someone who needs to vent and get his emotions out, but he doesn’t get that chance. Or rather, he FEELS like he can’t, because no one else does except YZY, and YZY isn’t exactly a prime example of healthy venting (Pls Madam Yu your children are crying.) It’s hard to talk about JC without bringing up how he compares to others, especially WWX, since that is the core of his problems and insecurities in the first place. So let’s talk about that. 

JC’s competitive nature is mostly the result of his abusive home, but also because he’s the youngest sibling. Youngest siblings in general tend to be taken less seriously than their older siblings and thus often end up with the need to prove themselves more. This, combined with his parents’ lousy parenting, just made a recipe for a self-esteem disaster that blames others over himself. In WWX’s case, his self-esteem problems are “I’m the burden, I’m to blame”. In JC’s case, the problems are “They keep comparing me to others, I’m not as good as they are”. So, with JFM seeming like he doesn’t love JC (at least not as much as WWX), and YZY always berating him for not being as good as WWX, it’s really hard to fault JC for having an inherent idea of “WWX is to blame for his suffering”. 

Despite this, JC had also actively spent his life fighting this idea of his. He loved WWX and very rarely let his jealously show at all. Even during the time WWX had been recovering from fighting the XuanWu, and JC was angry and frustrated at his parents fighting in front of them all again, and voiced his concerns about how his father didn’t like him or his mother, leading to WWX comforting him and making the promise he would eventually break (along with my heart but it’s okay I didn’t need it anyway ;-;). This is after JC walked from Qishan all the way back to Lotus Pier without stopping, desperate to save WWX as fast as possible. With his inherent idea of blaming WWX for his problems, on top of not being recognized for such a valiant effort for his brother, JC was in the perfect position to take it out on WWX. But he never actually said it was WWX’s fault, even though we knew he believed it at the time. Yes, he blatantly told WWX that he was upset about his efforts being ignored, but JC’s wording at the time didn’t contain a single line of actual blame towards WWX. (WWX probably heard it different, but those are his problems, not JC’s.) Considering JC is someone who doesn’t think about his words when he’s angry or frustrated, it says a lot about just how much he tries NOT to blame WWX, because he still truly, genuinely loved his brother. As children, JYL told WWX that JC was secretly very happy to have a new companion, even though WWX was the reason for his dogs being taken away. And then we see baby JC crying about being unable to find WWX when he tells him to go away. Yes, there’s probably some fear of punishment from JFM, but if that was the only thing he feared, baby JC didn’t have to promise to chase dogs away to protect WWX for the rest of their lives together. JC loved WWX just as much as WWX loved him, he just has a very, very different love language from his brother. 

And then...the fall of Lotus Pier happened. And all of that came crashing down, burning away along with their home. JC finally blamed WWX for what had happened, years and years of pent-up, painstakingly internalized jealously and blame exploding at once. Because no matter what WWX did before, no matter how much trouble WWX caused before, it never cost them THIS much. WWX coming into their lives had never been any REAL trouble, and JC had been able to forgive everything else, because he loved WWX, and because WWX kept him from being lonely. But now his parents, who he desperately wanted the love from, were gone. His home was gone. WWX kept him from running in and taking revenge. WWX was the only person there when he let his emotions take over, and WWX happened to be someone he could blame. So what else could JC do but blame him? 

“If WWX hadn’t saved Lan WangJi, if WWX hadn’t provoked Wen Chao, if WWX hadn’t won the archery competition, if WWX hadn’t come into their lives...”

JC’s default response to grief and trauma is anger fused with bargaining. He finds blame in someone or something and focuses on the “What-Ifs”, because that’s what he was raised on. That’s just what he was used to, because JC could never vent like he needed to. WWX and JYL, his only real sources of comfort, never truly listened when he did actually say something. WWX would tell him “You’re better than you think”, while JYL would tell him “That’s how things are, but don’t worry”. While these were said and done out of good intentions, JC’s needs are never really met or even fully acknowledged. No one addresses or even really listens to what causes the problems, often knowing the cause but almost blatantly refusing to really talk about it. Again, this isn’t their fault. Both older siblings had their own coping mechanisms that clashed with JC’s, and their entire family have CLEARLY never been taught proper communication skills, so no one really knew how to communicate in the way they needed to. However, it’s still true that this affected JC the most, given his character. He NEEDED someone to listen to him, he NEEDED the validation that his feelings and person mattered, but he never got it. 

And yet...the sad thing about this was that JC himself clearly gave up on trying ti get it himself after Lotus Pier was gone. He let his emotions rule him, seeking revenge against the Wens with every intention of slaughtering them as they did his family during the Sunshot Campaign. We see his loss of morality and hypocrisy when he shows how he was perfectly willing to let WWX, as the Yiling Patriarch, stay by his side as long as he was the enemy of the Wens despite how much he used to be against WWX using resentful energy. We see the innocent child who had only wanted the love and approval of his family become a vengeful man burdened with trauma and the responsibilities of a Sect Leader at too young an age during a time of war.

JC was clearly traumatized by Lotus Pier, and to me, it seemed that he had manifested a fear of seeing his home fall a second time. We see this especially in his passiveness towards the other sects when he was put on the spot during the times WWX “caused trouble” as the Yiling Patriarch, and how much more reactive and unstable he was when talking to WWX before WWX decided to leave the sect. JC had been desperate to keep things stable, safe, that he was willing to abandon the debt he owed towards Wen Qing and Wen Ning. He didn’t want to make enemies of the other sects, because his family and old home were gone. When WWX brought up JFM’s teachings, JC was obviously really affected by it, and I think that’s why he accepted WWX’s duel right then. 

One thing I would like to say is this: At this point in their relationship, WWX absolutely wronged JC. Yes, it’s fully understandable why WWX did so, with his horrible misplaced guilt and unwillingness to drag JC into his choices any longer. But JC didn’t deserve this. He reacted badly to WWX after Lotus Pier, but we know for a fact that he was overwhelmed with grief and pain when he did, but despite how much he’d changed, it’s obvious that JC still loved WWX (still should’ve apologised tho). JC didn’t need to try and protect WWX, but he did. Some might argue that he did it for JYL’s sake or to keep power, but I doubt that. If that was the case, he wouldn’t have argued with WWX the way he did, screaming “I won’t be able to protect you!” if he only wanted WWX around for power or for JYL. JC did try, but WWX didn’t. WWX saw their relationship as a debt he owed to JFM and the Sect, and with the transfer of the golden core, he saw that debt repaid. Not once, however, did WWX truly consider JC’s feelings about it, too caught up in his own guilt and thus deciding what he thought was best for his brother. Again, it’s understandable, given what he’s been through. But after the war, WWX was definitely the main reason they fall apart, not JC. Not the mention the whole golden core transfer itself. WWX made the decision for JC, then refused to tell him and let his little brother abuse him as YZY did until they finally separated, WWX willingly breaking the promise he made to JC himself. WWX didn’t even try to reconnect, using the excuse of “the Wens needing him more”. Can you imagine how that must have felt for JC? He didn’t know what WWX did for him, so to him, he could only see his brother abandoning him for almost no reason. WWX was his closest companion his whole life, as well as the person who shaped him the most throughout his childhood. His life and character were dependant on WWX, both positively and negatively. WWX could live without JC, but JC couldn’t live without WWX, and he knew that. 

When JYL died, the trauma of Lotus Pier returned, and once again, JC was consumed by grief. So he did the exact same thing he did back then: Blame WWX. And this time, he no longer had a good reason to give WWX leniency. After all, WWX pushed him away. WWX didn’t care about him. WWX chose the Wens, strangers, over him. WWX neglected him just as his own father did. JC’s complicated feelings towards his beloved brother had finally morphed into hatred, and WWX had let it happen. So WWX died, and JC no longer had a physical target to blame. But he needed something, someone, to blame, because that’s how he copes. It’s unhealthy, it’s damaging, it’s cruel, but it’s his coping mechanism. It’s the only way he knows how to deal with things because he never had a single chance to learn to cope in any other way. Thus, he hunted demonic cultivators and tortured them, but his hatred could never be resolved because he would never be able to receive the closure he desperately needed. 

Then WWX came back, and JC learned about the golden core transfer. 

If you’ve ever had someone sacrificing their time for you without needing to, for example a friend staying up for three days straight to finish a birthday present on time while on a busy and hectic schedule, you’d probably know the momentary guilt of “OMG you didn’t have to do that!” while being grateful to them. Now imagine that guilt times almost 20 years of hating the person who did something so selfless for you while also knowing you mistreated them for a portion of that time. JC was absolutely devastated to know what WWX did for him, because what the hell, the man he hated and blamed, the man who pushed him away and abandoned him for a bunch of strangers from a sect that destroyed their first home, did something that was essentially cultivator’s suicide? For his sake? Because he actually cared for JC despite everything he did? But also, with WWX’s core instead of his own, didn’t it also mean that he was still Not-As-Good as WWX, because he never truly achieved anything great without WWX’s help in some way? The main, EXACT, cause of his insecurities and problems in the first place? Bruh I can’t blame him for having an existential crisis here. I really can’t.

At GuanYin Temple (admittedly I’m basing this off CQL cuz I haven’t gotten there in any other adaption so I don’t know if this scene actually took place there or not), when JC shouted at WWX for everything, JC was finally given a chance to properly vent and finally have someone listen. Yes, WWX being shouted at isn’t favourable, but honestly, I think WWX truly deserved it from JC here. JC was finally able to say things against WWX to WWX’s face, and most importantly, have the last person he grew up with that he used to truly love and treasure tell him his feelings were valid. But even with this, I still find it fully believable and probably even narratively better that JC and WWX never fully resolved their relationship (as much as I want them too, for my heart’s sake) by the end of the story. Because even knowing what WWX did for him, honestly, how on earth could JC trust him again? JC was too hurt for too long, and besides, they were incompatible in the first place. WWX and JC’s personalities and coping mechanisms and all that simply clashed with each other too much for them to go back to being brothers like they used to be. But at least there’s now closure between the two, and Jiang Cheng might be able to finally move on from the past he’s trapped in.

Like I said in the beginning, I find Jiang Cheng the most interesting as a CHARACTER out of the Yunmeng Siblings, and I haven’t even finished what I wanted to talk about with him. Gonna do a post next time about his relationships with others aside from WWX, specifically with Jin Ling probably. Also I don’t actually think Jiang Cheng was neurodivergent to begin with, but that’s also another post all on its own. Anyways I hope y’all survived this long ass post LMAO.