#i have much knowledge of what i want to read already and use the library

[aroaessidhe]

in the small sff section in the bookstore today and a bookseller came over and started giving me recommendations (he seemed bored so I let him) but he started with j*y kristoff and I was like oh......yeah nah I've heard far too many bad things about that man. and then he's like the n*me of the wind? .... I regret to inform you that is another man I have Heard Things About. everything else he pointed out seemed to be similar white dude fantasy books I doubt I'd be interested in and then robin hobb which I have some respect about even if I'm not interested in reading them at this point. at least he didn't point me to sjm which took up like 1/6 of the shelf

[carriesthewind]

Ok I'm not done complaining about this.

The IA's tweets about how "Publishers removed '1984' [and Fahrenheit 451] from our library"! really underscore how to me, their messaging has been more about self-serving performative manipulation than anything else.

They are deliberately comparing the enforcement of existing copyright law against them, individually and specifically, to the wholesale destruction and suppression of knowledge.

The metaphor really doesn't work in this case*, but that doesn't matter. The idea is not to convey a truth, but a feeling of oppression and injustice.

I just checked. I can check out both of those books, by ebook, from my local library. As in, they are available to check out right now.

And that's not true for everyone, I want to acknowledge! There are real access issues, even for popular books like those. And there are absolutely a number of people who only had access to certain in-copyright books because of IA. ...but also, again, because of how IA works, 1) those are also people who already had the ability to access the internet and all the content therewithin (including other resources designed specifically by librarians to get people access books that may be banned where they live), and 2) they still have access to so many other books through IA (and other resources).**

*And just to make it clear - I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of good arguments and examples about how aspects of the current copyright regime are dystopian. But in this context, these specific books are not the metaphors you are looking for.

**They are currently retweeting a bunch of folks from India, and it feels...a bit weird to me, in context. I know literally nothing about access to books and media in India. (I suspect, given the number of people, it is a topic with a great many facets and issues.) But there's something that feels...off to me, about how much they are focusing on the fact that this removed "more than 1,300 banned and challenged books"***, all of which, as far as I can tell, are either English-language books or books that were already published in English. It makes me question to what extent anyone involved in leadership in the IA knows about access needs in India either.

***Worth noting: they are counting each individual copy of a book - so in getting to their numbers, they count Lady Chatterley's Lover, for example, as 38 books removed.****

****Also you can still borrow all of these books from IA if you need access because of print-reading disability. They aren't actually removed and if you were relying on their print-reading accessibility program, you can still use it.

[couldyouimagine-that]

I'll Hold You

Genre; hurt/comfort, fluff

Word count; 1.5k

Warnings; reader struggling to cope with a hunt gone wrong, mentions of death, Lucifer being Lucifer.

Pairing; Lucifer (Supernatural) x Reader

Reader doesn't want to be alone after a hunt and goes to Lucifer - he plays with them a little, but he's glad they came to him.

This can be read as a part two to Cuddles With Satan, but it's also good as a standalone!

Masterlist

-

The first time you went to Lucifer for comfort, company – you didn’t even know what – your stomach had been in knots. The latest hunt had gone wrong and people had died, and on this particular day you just couldn’t cope with that knowledge. Sam and Dean had each sequestered themselves with varying degrees of alcohol and you had done the same out of habit. The problem was that much as you enjoyed the time you got to yourself, your greatest battles were always fought alone with your mind. It chose to keep replaying the deaths of the civilians you couldn’t save, and when it wasn’t doing that, there was a constant stream of words and whining white noise that left your thoughts reeling. You tried desperately to claw your way back to reality, making the effort to really feel your weight on your mattress where it contacted your body, to listen for small sounds like those made by the water pipes in the bunker, but it was no good.

You clawed your fingers back through your hair as you stood and physically shook yourself out, then set off at a brisk walk through the bunker’s corridors. You made a lap past the bedrooms, through the library and war room, the kitchen, and finally back to the bedrooms again, your thoughts blissfully silenced by the movement. Until you arrived back at your own door and found you didn’t want to go in. You knew you needed to be with another person, but you were frightened by what exactly that meant. Dean and Sam, much as they cared for you, needed to be alone to deal with their own trauma from the day’s events. Castiel was in another state entirely, on a mission to track down some artefact that he thought would come in useful in the future. That left only one, and the very thought made your stomach flip. Lucifer.

He had taken up a room in the bunker, so that he too could have some privacy even if he didn’t need to sleep, and worry was twisting through your gut before you even took the first step towards his door. The walk to the end of the corridor was excruciating, your legs feeling as weak as jelly and your hands trembling. What would you even say to him? The boys had no idea you had finally given in during a moment of unparalleled exhaustion and allowed Lucifer to hold you while you slept. He had been gone when you woke up and hadn’t mentioned it since, nor even alluded to it. You certainly hadn’t had the courage to bring it up. And now what? You were going to one of the most powerful beings ever created, who had been around for almost all of creation and who was currently the biggest threat to you by miles, to ask him to hold you until you felt better. You could already hear the mockery in his voice.

You drew in a shaky breath as you stood outside his door, hand raised to knock, when it drew back of its own accord.

Lucifer’s frame took up most of the doorway, his entire being radiating casual confidence. Your nerves skyrocketed as you looked up to meet his direct gaze and had to fumble for words. He was completely relaxed, his expression telling you I knew you’d come.

“You were thinking about me so much it was pretty much a prayer,” he purred. “Why did you come to me?”

This wasn’t going to be easy, then. You bit your tongue, trying to calm yourself.

“The hunt went bad,” you started, voice blissfully steady. His answering hum said I know. I don’t care. “The boys need their space to recover. I need… I need to not be alone.”

“And?” Worse than just the nerves permeating your every cell, now you were starting to feel the heat of embarrassment too. He was going to make you say it out loud. Your swallow was so harsh that even you could hear it.

“I wanted your company.” His head dropped forward just a fraction of an inch, eyes locked square on yours. Keep going. “I – I wanted… What we did before, I…” You breathed in sharply. “I wanted you to hold me again. Please.”

Heat burned the backs of your ears as you spoke, but the look that came over Lucifer’s face could only be described as malicious satisfaction. He held out a hand to you, palm up, and watched intently as you hesitated but ultimately stepped forward to take it. His movement was easy as he drew you inside with him and closed the door behind you. Lucifer let his fingertips brush your palm as he dropped your hand and strode slowly over to the fully made bed, laying down in the middle of it with his legs crossed elegantly. He leaned his weight back on his elbows as he watched you, still standing uncertainly near the door.

Lucifer glanced down at his side to indicate where he wanted you, a smirk starting to curl the corner of his lips at your continued hesitation. His eyes bored into you until you felt small and you almost wanted to leave, but then that would leave you alone with your thoughts again, and at least this little game of his was forcing you to focus on the present. Some quiet part of you wondered if he would even let you leave, now that you had knowingly walked into the lion’s den. You knew why he was doing this; by making you join him yourself, by making you say what he already knew you wanted out loud, it rendered the entire situation a choice made by your own free will. And that was something you had no doubt he would hold over you.

As the silence stretched, you finally decided to force yourself to stop thinking. Your steps were quiet as you approached him, and you kneeled on the edge of the bed first before leaning down to support your weight on one hand. You tried to drop his gaze by looking down at his chest but he wouldn’t let you, a finger beneath your chin drawing your head back up again. You knew in that moment you had finally decided to play his game properly, holding his amused gaze as you scooted towards him and laid down against his chest, a leg over his and your hands on his shoulders. His real smile was no less threatening than the smirk had been.

“There,” Lucifer cooed, voice unbelievably soft. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it.”

You chose not to answer in words, instead pushing against his shoulders until he conceded to lay back against the pillows. His arms moved to ensnare you immediately, pressing hard across your lower back and spine to hold you to him. You let him trap your head under his chin as you tucked your face against his shoulder, your own arms finding their way around him. With the weight of his hold and the solid feeling of his body against you, with his breath lightly stirring your hair, you relaxed into him, realising your mind was finally quiet. You smiled in relief at your effortless focus on the present and squeezed your arms around the archangel in thanks before you could think better of it. In response, you again felt the touch of his lips to your forehead and again you didn’t comment, but god if you didn’t want to.

-

Lucifer, despite his love for a bit of powerplay, knew how bad you felt and how poorly you were coping. Humans as a species were a thorn in his side, but there was something about you that he wanted more of. His lips curved at the thought of you coming to him for comfort, for safety, to be grounded and protected. That wasn’t a sin in his mind, since he didn’t view himself as the image his father had created for humans to fear and to blame. You had chosen him, out of the many better, safer options you had, and he was going to make sure you kept on doing it. The physical contact didn’t hurt either, he thought belatedly, since no one had ever knowingly chosen to be close to him the way you had.

The archangel felt you give a little sigh as you shifted, trying to press yourself against him even more. He obliged you since he thought it was cute, starting to move his thumbs in gentle circular motions over your back. The next sigh you gave, this one incredibly content, made him wonder if you had forgotten what exactly you were curled up in the arms of. It would only serve to make him more satisfied if you had, but there was no need to find that out now. Time slipped by as your breathing slowed and evened out, but the grin that stretched his lips each time he thought of the trust you had in him didn’t fade.

[vaguesxrrow]

this was for a request for an edwin payne/gn reader dating hcs but i accidentally deleted the ask SORRYYY 😭😭 if you requested it here you go !!

edwin payne/reader dating hcs

a/n: there is nothing in this pertaining to the reader's gender but i'd like to clarify they are not a girl, as edwin is not attracted to women (to my knowledge)

reader can be read as either alive or dead

tags: gn!reader

what dating edwin payne would be like...

- before you started dating, or at the start of your relationship, edwin would be a little closed off (as is expected from him) but it was still obvious to everyone he had a soft spot for you

- even if he didnt outwardly show how taken with you he really was, it would be obvious through his actions alone

- on cases, he would especially watch out for your safety

- if you're sick or feeling even slightly unwell he will suggest you take a break from this case

- "i will come back to you. i promise." when you protest that he might need you there

- he'll give you long, long hugs when he returns

- lying in bed together after the case, facing each other, as he tells you about it

- would lay down with his head between your shoulder and neck, tracing patterns over your hand and wrist

- isn't terribly fond of pda but cheek kisses and hand holding, or linking your pinkies together are always on the table

- will also let you, and enjoy it when, you latch onto his arm

- this boy would totally try to court you

- at first his gifts would be typical types of gifts, like flowers or something expensive and fancy because he wants you to think highly of him

- but then one day he finds a silly stuffed animal he thinks you'd like and gives it to you

- you LOVE it ofc, and you dont waste a second in telling him

- he's a bit surprised but is happy you love it and would grin at you fully once you promise that yes, you really do think it's lovely

- after that, if he finds anything he knows you'll like, or if you say you want something, he WILL get it for you

- edwin taking you out on dates:

- he would put a lot of effort into your first date because, with all the running away from supernatural beings that want to kill you, he thinks both of you deserve a little normal

- imagine: a museum date, but at a kind of obscure museum that showcases ancient artifacts or something

- edwin would know a lot of facts about the different pieces and tell you about them

- however he will feel bad about going on too long, because this is your first date and he doesn't want to put you off already

- "i... apologise. i'm rambling."

- you: 'i don't mind. it's... attractive how smart you are."

- you were totally gonna say 'sexy' but is edwin really ready for that?? maybe not.

- then you kiss him before he can react, and his system kind of crashes (yeah, definitely not ready for 'sexy' just yet)

- he appreciates how you value his whole personality and genuinely love all parts of him

- he loves you just as much, if it wasn't obvious

- his love languages would probably be quality time and acts of service

- constantly making excuses to be near you

- "[ ] and i will go conduct some research in the library, the three of you can interview the witnesses."

- he thinks he's being subtle but charles, crystal, and niko always grin at you knowingly

- "have fun, lovebirds! try not to get distracted," <- coming from either of the other three, or maybe even all of them in unison

- edwin will splutter and blush

- once he realises there's no use in hiding how whipped he is for you, he'll outright say he wants to "go with his [boyfriend/partner]" to do whatever he wants to do

- he likes saying it out loud that you're together - it makes him feel giddy inside in a way no one else has before

- if you want a specific book for your research he'll take finding it very seriously

- you need a book from the top shelf? he's on it (like, literally on it, because if there's no step stool around he might actually climb the bookshelf)

- getting tired from your research? he'll mirror travel to a coffee shop and get you a drink and a sweet treat

- edwin would get jealous, and once he's secure in the relationship he would show it

- in the case of you being alive: imagine someone trying to flirt with you, maybe in the library or something from the earlier scenario

- he would knock over a book on purpose to spook the person who dared to flirt with HIS s.o

- when you tease him for it later he'll mutter something about being 'possibly a bit jealous.'

- it isn't that he doesn't trust you, as he will of course clarify, he's just very protective

[saythenametotheworld]

Risk | l.jn [2]

Genre: college au; crush-at-first-sight Synopsis: Is this how it feels to fall for someone and slowly lose your shit? You wondered, heart racing and mind spinning as your seemingly innocent attraction for Jeno began spiraling out of control. Pairing: NCT Lee Jeno x Reader Warnings: slow burn, mature themes, suggestive Notes: 23k words. I kept revising this like a madwoman my god. The song prompt for this part was Buzz by NIKI. Go check it out bcs it sums this whole thing up T^T Taglist: @yowmaman @tunafishyfishylike

[Part 1]

It was in the little moments that your feelings for Jeno began to deepen. As you grew closer, spending time together felt effortless. There was no need to rack your brain for excuses to talk to him or find ways to be in the same room. He was simply there, seamlessly becoming a constant presence in your daily life, especially with your friends.

You often found yourselves in the library, working on different tasks but always making time to chat. You discovered that he liked the library because it was quiet, and he could catch up on sleep without the staff telling him to leave.

“What about you, Most Diligent Reader of the Year?” he teased, flashing a mischievous grin.

“Third Most Diligent Reader of the Year,” you corrected with a hint of pride. “I like it here for the same reason. And also because there are more books here than in the NCIT library.”

“How many of these have you read?” he asked, glancing around at the seemingly endless shelves of books.

“Definitely not all of them,” you admitted with a shrug, glancing at the shelves. “I tend to pick up books that catch my eye, especially the ones with pretty covers. But honestly, not all pretty books turn out to be as interesting—or even readable,” you added with a light laugh.

“Like that one?” He pointed to the hardbound book before you, a thick volume with gilded designs that looked both old and attractive.

You smiled sheepishly as you ran your fingers over the embossed title, Code de la Nature by Étienne-Gabriel Morelly—a French book. “Yeah, like this one.”

“What’s your favorite book?” he asked suddenly, catching you off guard.

You smiled playfully, feeling a bit coy. “I’ll tell you when we're closer.”

Scoffing, Jeno leaned back in his chair, nodding as if resigned. “You always say that.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him your favorite book; it was just that you couldn’t pick one on the spot. Even now, as you mulled it over quietly, no single title came to mind that you could confidently claim as your favorite.

“No, seriously,” you said, chuckling softly. “I’ll tell you when we’re closer.”

“Oh, yeah? Okay,” Jeno replied, his tone mockingly flat. With a mischievous glint in his eye, he used his foot to push your chair slightly away from him. “We’re not close, so stay there.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head at his playful antics. As you did, a warm feeling settled in your chest—a mix of amusement and something deeper. You loved these moments, where teasing and joking felt so effortless. In these little exchanges, you found yourself appreciating Jeno more, realizing how much his playful side brought out the best in you.

After a few more rounds of banter, the two of you slipped into a comfortable silence. You immersed yourself in your book, while he scrolled through his phone. There was no need for words or even glances, but the knowledge that he was there filled you with a quiet sense of joy. Even as you lost yourself in the pages, your awareness of his presence never faded. It was satisfying like everything was in its right place. Like you were supposed to be there with him at that very moment.

As the familiar strain in your eyes set in, you closed the book and placed it gently on the table. Blinking up at the ceiling to relax your vision, you glanced over to Jeno’s side of the table. He was already asleep, his head leaning against the windowsill, arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing his AirPods, and you could faintly hear music from them.

A soft smile tugged at your lips as you watched him. You could get used to this, you thought—a quiet wish forming in your heart for more moments like this. Just the two of you, together, even in silence.

“Enjoying the view?” a voice whispered from your right, making you jump in your seat and gasp softly.

You turned, startled, only to see Renjun watching you, his head propped on his elbow with a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“What the fuck, Renjun,” you whispered back, one hand over your rapidly beating heart as you tried not to wake Jeno.

It wasn’t a far stretch to think Jeno might already be aware that you like him because some of your friends are relentless when it comes to their teasing. While they respected your wishes of not having any of them wingmanning you, the exceptions and favors they would do for you were sometimes helpful. For example, the boys had made a habit of eating lunch together with everyone—Jeno included. But even that was filled with teasing from Haechan specifically.

“The babygirl has arrived!” Haechan announced as you were walking towards them at the food court, his voice loud enough to catch the attention of the entire table. You narrowed your eyes at him, annoyed by his provocation, but then you saw Jeno there and your gaze softened in recognition. He smiled at you, which you shyly returned as you approached.

“Let’s see. Where would she sit today?” Haechan asked teasingly, batting his eyelashes. 

Across him, Jaemin was gleaming with mischief. “Next to me, maybe?”

You scoffed just as Kayla was leaning in to say, “Or maybe she’ll just sit next to me and break your heart.”

“As if,” Renjun interjected. “Your heart would break first from the disappointment.”

Jaemin, not one to miss an opportunity, leaned across the table with a dramatic sigh. “You know, it’s so hard being this good-looking. I’d understand if you really wanted to sit next to me. It’s alright.”

You snorted, shoving Jaemin playfully. “In your dreams, Jaemin. And seriously, stop with the flirting—it’s getting old.”

Renjun smirked, catching Jeno’s eye. “There’s space next to Jeno. Why doesn’t she just decide for herself?”

“Yeah, let’s see who she picks,” Jaemin chimed in, leaning in closer with a playful grin. “Come on, pick me, I’ll make it worth your while.”

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, Mark appeared beside you, having just returned with a drink, and patted your back before sliding next to Jaemin. “Not while I’m sitting here.”

Jeno, unfazed as usual, pulled out the chair next to him and patted it. “Well, then,” he said, looking at you with a playful grin. “Looks like this seat is yours.”

Despite your best efforts to hide it, you felt your cheeks heat up as you took the offered seat, trying to ignore the knowing looks from the rest of the group. As you settled into the chair, you couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement. Being close to Jeno like this felt so natural, yet it always left you a little flustered. The warmth of his presence next to you made your heart race in a way you were starting to crave.

Even amidst the chatter and teasing, you found yourself hyper-aware of the subtle brush of his arm against yours, the way his smile lingered as he glanced your way. You wondered if he noticed how your breath hitched slightly when he leaned in just a bit closer to say something to Renjun.

Sienna, who had been quietly watching the exchange with an amused smile, finally chimed in. “You guys really have too much energy at lunchtime,” she remarked, shaking her head. “Can’t we just eat like normal people?”

“Normal people?” Jaemin echoed, raising an eyebrow. “You’re sitting with us. Normal isn’t really on the menu.”

“Well, it is if you’re ordering the salad,” Haechan quipped, pointing at the plate in front of you. “What’s with the rabbit food anyway? Trying to impress someone?”

“It’s called being healthy, Haechan,” you replied with mock seriousness. “You should try it sometime. Your future self will thank you.”

“Oh, I’m plenty healthy,” Haechan shot back, grabbing a fry from Renjun’s plate. “Healthy enough to eat whatever I want and still look this good.”

“Mmhm, shame that doesn’t help with the bad personality,” Renjun muttered, earning a snort from Jaemin and Kayla. Mark was straight up hollering in laughter.

“You wound me, Renjun,” Haechan said, clutching his chest dramatically. “But I’ll recover because I know you’re just jealous of my charm.”

“Charm?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

Haechan smirked at you. “Can I punch you in the face? Just this once?”

“Come here and try then!” you challenged, lifting your chin proudly.

“Yes, yes,” Sienna joined in. “Let’s punch each other in the face like kids. For now, can we eat in peace?”

The conversation shifted to weekend plans and upcoming exams, but every now and then, Haechan would throw in a comment that made you want to either disappear or throw your drink at him. Renjun joined in, his sarcastic remarks often aimed at both you and Jeno, while Jaemin continued his exaggerated flirting, much to your amusement. But through it all, Jeno remained cool and composed, either playing along with the banter or deflecting it with his quick-witted remarks.

After lunch, as everyone began to disperse, you casually stood next to Jeno, knowing you’d be heading to the same class.

“Heading to class?” he asked, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“Yeah, you?” you replied, a small smile tugging at your lips.

He nodded. “Should we go together?”

You shrugged, channeling an aloof attitude to hide the crazy pounding in your chest. “Okay.”

The walk was filled with light conversation—classes, weekend plans, and a bit of banter. Unlike when you were with the group, the conversation with Jeno felt more subdued, and comfortable in the quiet moments that hung between your words.

As you reached the building where your class was, a sudden realization hit you, stopping you in your tracks. Horror washed over your face as you remembered that today was the day you were getting the results for the woodworking project. “What happens if we fail that project?”

“Fail it?” he questioned, slightly caught off guard by the shift in your tone. “I don’t think we will. I mean…” he trailed off, seemingly considering the possibility. “We did good, didn’t we?”

Your question lingered, feeding your anxiety. “Yeah but… what if?”

He shrugged, an uncertain smile tugging at his lips. Then, with a reassuring touch, he went to stand behind you, placing firm hands on your shoulders as he gently pushed you inside the classroom. “Let’s go inside and find out.”

As you felt his hands on your shoulders, a warm comfort spread through you, easing the knots of worry in your stomach. His quiet confidence was contagious, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to believe that everything would turn out okay.

Lunchtime since then had become a cherished opportunity to be near Jeno. Every time he entered the cafeteria, your heart would skip a beat. Some days, even when the boys weren’t around, he would join your table, casually sliding into the seat beside you.

“Mind if I sit here?” he’d ask, already halfway settled in.

“Not at all,” you’d reply, your voice steady despite the flutter in your chest, as you scooted over to give him space.

His presence was electrifying. You found yourself hanging onto his every word, laughing at his jokes, and savoring the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. Each sighting, each interaction, sent a rush of warmth through you, your heart skipping at the thought of being close to him.

One day, he walked over with that familiar smile. “Hey, you doing anything after school?”

You shook your head, striving to appear casual. “Not really. Why?”

“There’s this new coffee shop that opened up nearby. Wanna check it out?”

Your heart leaped. Was this it? Was he asking you out on a date? The thought sent a thrill through you, and you had to force yourself to keep your voice steady. “Sure, sounds fun.”

As the two of you walked to the coffee shop after school, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was a date. Maybe not. If it was, shouldn’t he have said so? Then again, what if he was too shy to ask directly? The idea made your heart race, each step filled with anticipation. You imagined sitting across from him, just the two of you, talking and laughing over coffee. The thought of it being something more than just another hangout with a friend was enough to make you giddy.

However, as soon as you arrived at the cafe, the giddy smile on your lips was replaced by a deep scowl. Inside, your friends were already there, gathered around a large table, waving you over with bright smiles.

“Hey, you made it!” Sienna called out.

Jeno smiled and waved back, completely unfazed. You, on the other hand, tried to mask your disappointment as you followed him to the table. The cozy, intimate moment you had envisioned was quickly replaced by the familiar noise and energy of your group.

“I have brought her,” Jeno announced with a grin.

You glared at him, pretending to be annoyed. “What’s this? Were you conspiring with them?”

Jeno shrugged. “They told me to come here and asked that I bring you along.”

“Yeah, it’s a conspiracy,” you said, rolling your eyes as you took the vacant chair next to Kayla. 

“Don’t be mad at him,” Kayla chided softly. “You didn’t check the group chat, so we thought we should just ask Jeno to bring you since he’s coming too.”

“Just so you know, I didn’t read the GC on purpose,” you quipped, still pouting.

“Jesus Christ, lady,” Renjun exclaimed from across the table, rolling his eyes. “You’re too obvious. It’s actually embarrassing.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. Despite your initial disappointment, you found yourself enjoying the time with your friends at the café. It was fun, even when they casually dropped inside jokes about your crush—who was sitting right there. Thankfully, Jeno seemed completely oblivious. Or if he wasn’t, he didn’t show it.

“You’re coming to my birthday party next week, right?” Kayla asked, making you chuckle. She had asked the same question over a dozen times in the last few days.

“Yes, K. I am,” you groaned, linking your arm with hers as you walked back to NCIT.

“Good. Don’t forget.”

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Jaemin chimed in.

Ahead of you, Jeno was walking with Mark, Yangyang, and Renjun. Kayla tugged on Jeno’s backpack, making him glance over his shoulder at you.

“You’re coming too, right?” she asked.

“Of course. I’ll even buy you a gift,” he replied with a smile that made your heart flutter. “What do you want?”

It amazed you how quickly he had become close with your friends. Granted, he was already tight with the boys, but with Sienna and Kayla, Jeno seemed to have captured their fondness too. At this point, it was safe to say that he had become a permanent part of your friend group.

Your group dispersed as you entered the campus. Jeno walked to the Sci-Tech building with Mark, and Renjun. Sienna, Haechan, and Yangyang went their own way too, leaving you, Kayla, and Jaemin trailing slightly behind.

“So,” Kayla began, giving you a sly look. “Are you finally going to tell him?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you shot her a warning glance. “Tell who what?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb,” she replied, nudging you. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Before you could respond, Jaemin slid up beside you with that signature grin. “Ah, the confession of the century. I’ve been waiting for this day.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to laugh it off. “You’re both ridiculous. It’s not like that.”

Jaemin raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Sure it’s not. That’s why you can barely look at him without blushing. You usually have that heart-eyes emoji thing going on when he’s around.”

Your eyes widened in mock indignation. “I do not! I’m not that obvious.

“Don’t be shy,” Jaemin continued, his tone playful. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to make me jealous. But I can’t blame you—I mean, have you seen me?” He wiggled his eyebrows, leaning closer with a flirtatious smile.

“Jaemin, drop it,” you muttered, though your voice lacked conviction.

But he was relentless, leaning in closer with a teasing smirk. “Admit it, you’ve got it bad for our dear Jeno.”

You sighed, unable to deny it any longer. “Fine, maybe I do. But it’s not like I can just tell him.”

Kayla gave you a sympathetic smile. “You never know. He might feel the same way.”

You hesitated for a moment, then sighed. “It’s not that easy, you know? What if he doesn’t? What will happen to my pride?”

Jaemin softened, though the teasing glint in his eye remained. “Well, if that’s the case, you still have me. I’d happily take you on a date. We’d have fun, I promise.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, pushing him away playfully. “In your dreams, Jaemin. You’d only drive me crazy.”

“Well, it depends. I could drive you crazy in love,” he shot back with a wink. “Or crazy good. You decide.”

You rolled your eyes again, though a smile tugged at your lips. “You’re impossible.”

“Only for you,” he replied smoothly, before softening his tone. “But seriously, you should just tell Jeno. Who knows? He might be into girls who adore him.”

“Shouldn’t you know that? He’s your friend from before,” Kayla asked.

“Sorry to disappoint you but I don’t pay attention to every little thing about him,” Jaemin replied. “It’s not like I was obsessed with him like someone.”

You exhaled sharply and started hitting his shoulder several times. “I am not obsessed with him! You dumb idiot!”

Jaemin ran away laughing and you chased after him. Kayla could only sigh and shake her head, watching the two of you run down the lengthy hallway of the Social Sciences building.

“I hope a professor catches them and gives them a good beating,” she murmured, chuckling darkly as she walked into her classroom.

Kayla’s house was a sprawling mansion with elegant decor and a large backyard. Although you’d known Kayla to have come from wealth, the grandeur of the house never failed to catch you off guard each time you came over.

As you entered the halls, you were greeted by a rowdy crowd—upbeat music, chatter, and laughter blending together noisily. The living room was transformed into a dance floor, with pulsating lights and a DJ set up in one corner. Nearby, a table was laden with an array of snacks and drinks, and the smell of pizza and nachos mingled with the sweet scent of fruit punch and the sharper tang of alcohol. The air smelled of vape, perfumes, and alcohol, much like every other party you’d been to, except that this was a little more posh.

You came with Haechan and Sienna who disappeared into the crowd as soon as you got inside. You were only alone for a minute before someone dragged you into their circle. You joined a group playing air hockey and did shots with another group, wandering through the crowd, and soaking in the festive vibe. Despite the fun, a lingering thought occupied your mind—you hadn't seen Jeno yet.

Just when you were beginning to wonder if he didn’t show up, your eyes caught sight of Jeno. He was in one corner of the hall with some friends, engrossed in an intense video game match. 

You took a moment to observe him, feeling a flutter of excitement every time he threw his head back in laughter or shouted in triumph. The way he interacted with his friends—lively, charismatic, and completely at ease—made him seem even more appealing to you. You watched the scene unfold with a sense of detached admiration, the sounds of the party fading into a soft hum as you focused on him.

After a while, Jeno finally noticed you standing by the side of the room. His expression lit up with a genuine smile as he excused himself from his friends and made his way over to you. 

“Hi there,” he said, his voice friendly and warm. “They said you were here but I didn’t see much of you all night.”

You returned his smile, trying to stay composed despite the flutter in your chest. “Well, have you taken your eyes off the video game at all tonight?”

That made Jeno chuckle heartily. “I haven’t. That’s probably why, right?” he asked, casually leaning his shoulder against the wall beside you.

You shrugged, taking a sip from your cup and not meeting his gaze while he stared you down. “I’d be dead focused on the game too if I keep losing like you and Yangyang did.”

“Hey,” he chimed, laughing his indignation away. “I have won a few times.”

You hummed. “Not as much as you’ve lost.”

Jeno sighed, hanging his head low as he chuckled. When he glanced back at you, there was a playful glint in his eyes. “Fine, I’m not good at it. It’s not gonna make you like me less, is it?”

You froze, surprised by his question. Obviously, it wasn’t going to make you like him less. If anything, it made him more endearing. But why was he asking? Does he care about what you think of him?

Before you could respond, Yangyang called out to Jeno, and with a quick, apologetic glance, he said, “I gotta get back to the game. Catch you later?”

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips as he rejoined his group. The excitement of the party continued around you, but your thoughts lingered on Jeno, his brief interaction with you, and the way he effortlessly made you feel special even in the middle of a crowded, lively party.

At 1 am, the party showed no sign of slowing down. Music blared, people danced wildly, and drinks flowed freely. Since Jeno’s brief greeting, you hadn't been able to speak with him. He was always surrounded by friends or caught up in the excitement of the party. Yet you couldn’t blame it on his popularity because even you were in the same situation. You found yourself moving through the crowd, getting dragged from circle to circle, and catching up with a lot of different people. You hardly saw Jeno, you couldn’t even get hold of your close friends.

“Fuck this,” you said, exhaling sharply and heading for the door. Before you could leave the hall, however, you heard someone shout, followed by some scuffling sounds.

In another part of the room, two boys were arguing heatedly, their voices growing louder and more aggressive. You recognized them, some studs that you never hung out with. The tension in the air was heavy, drawing the attention of several people.

“Calm down, man,” one of them said, trying to defuse the situation. “It’s not worth it.”

The other boy wasn’t having any of it. “Stay out of this,” he snapped, shoving him away.

“Who do you think you are?” the first boy shot back, pushing him hard. The crowd around them began to murmur, sensing the situation escalating. Soon people from other parts of the house rushed to see what was happening.

Jeno, who was standing nearby, noticed the growing tension and stepped in to mediate. “Hey, guys, let’s take it easy,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “We’re all here to have a good time.”

The angrier boy turned on Jeno, his eyes flashing with irritation. “This has nothing to do with you, Lee. Back off!”

Jeno stood his ground, approaching the boy and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Come on, man, it’s not worth it. Why don’t we call it a night? You can talk again when you’re sober.”

But the aggression had reached a boiling point. One of the boys, blinded by rage, swung his fist at the other. Jeno, caught in the crossfire, took the brunt of the punch. He staggered back, colliding with you.

A chorus of shocked exclamations rose from the crowd as you caught Jeno, your heart pounding with concern. “Jeno, are you okay?” you asked, your voice trembling as you tried to steady him.

Jeno winced, holding his cheek. He even managed a chuckle. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, though his expression showed he was in pain.

The fight behind you turned into an all-out brawl. The boys were grappling, fists flying, and the crowd around them was either trying to break it up or egging them on. Someone knocked over a table, sending drinks and snacks crashing to the floor. The noise level was deafening, with shouts, screams, and the thud of punches filling the air.

“Stop it! You’re gonna get hurt!” a girl screamed, but her voice was lost in the chaos.

The room was a blur of movement and noise. Then, the distant but unmistakable sound of police sirens cut through the chaos, sending a ripple of panic through the crowd.

“It’s the cops!” someone yelled.

The party descended into mayhem as people scrambled to leave, darting out of the house and into the night. You and Jeno managed to slip out before the police arrived, finding a quiet spot away from the chaos. Kayla saw you and ushered you up the stairs. Jeno took your hand, guiding you upstairs and slipping into an open bedroom door. Inside, you found Mark and passed out on the bed.

“Good God,” you muttered, walking towards the bed only to be pulled back by Jeno. You glanced at your joined hands, and suddenly, the adrenaline from the chaos was replaced by butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach.

“Who’s that?” he asked, peeking at the figure on the bed.

“It’s just Mark,” you told him and he nodded in realization, letting go of your hand upon realizing it was safe to be there.

“Sorry,” he said, looking around. The bedroom was dimly lit—a stark contrast to the bright downstairs. The faint smell of spilled drinks lingered in the air, and the sound of distant voices and sirens could still be heard. 

“Thanks for helping me back there, by the way,” he added, his voice softer now.

“Anytime,” you said coolly, giving him a reassuring smile. “Well, it wasn’t intentional, honestly. You got thrown in my direction so, yeah. But you’re welcome.”

Jeno laughed, despite the situation. “Are you saying you wouldn’t have helped if I wasn’t thrown in your direction?” he asked, purposely quoting your words.

“No! Of course, I’d help you!” you replied briskly, shaking your hand. You felt your face heat up as you quickly corrected yourself, hoping he didn’t notice your flustered state. “I would help even if you weren’t thrown in my direction. That is if your other friends don’t get to you fast enough.” 

“Is that so?” he chuckled. “Alright. It’s good to know you’ve got my back.”

“Like I said. Anytime.”

As you stood there, the remnants of the party fading into the background, you wondered if you should thank the boy who punched Jeno towards you, the person who called 911, or Kayla herself. After all, the unexpected turn of events had brought you a little closer to Jeno.

“You looked really cool, though,” you chimed, trying not to laugh. “Trying to break the fight and all.”

Jeno chuckled heartily. “Until I got punched in the face.”

“Until you got punched in the face, yes,” you echoed, laughing at his expense. “Props to you for trying.”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling as he sank on the bed next to Mark. 

Jeno patted the space next to him, and you hesitated for only a moment before sitting down. The bed dipped under your weight, and you both shared a quiet laugh as Mark stirred slightly but didn’t wake.

Lowering your voices to a near whisper, you and Jeno began to talk, careful not to disturb the sleeping Mark, and for a brief moment, it felt like the world outside had faded, leaving only the comforting sound of Jeno’s voice and the warmth of his presence beside you.

The cool air outside was refreshing, a welcome change from the stifling atmosphere inside Kayla’s house. You and Jeno walked side by side down the quiet sidewalk, bundled in jackets, hands tucked into your pockets against the cold. Kayla had initially planned for you and the girls to stay the night, but after catching sight of you with Jeno, she quickly changed her mind.

“You don’t want to miss your classes tomorrow,” she said with a knowing smile. You knew she was trying to get you some alone time with Jeno and her plan seemed to work when Jeno offered to walk you home.

As you walked, the conversation flowed naturally, starting with light-hearted banter about classes and mean teachers. Jeno’s laughter echoed softly in the stillness of the night, and you found yourself smiling more than you had in days. Eventually, your conversation transitioned from school to your childhood. You exchanged stories, and Jeno shared funny anecdotes about his younger self. 

“Did I ever tell you about the time I got stuck in a tree?” Jeno asked, his eyes crinkling at the memory.

“Is this one of those stories where you climbed a tree thinking it’d be cool, only to realize later that you had no idea how to get down?”

Jeno chuckled heartily, eyes fixed on the path ahead.“Classic, isn’t it? I think every kid has done that at least once.”

“Not me,” you teased, imagining a younger Jeno, wide-eyed with wild energy. “So, how did you get down?”

“My mom had to call the fire department,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “They brought out this huge ladder, and the whole neighborhood came to watch. I was mortified.”

The image of a little Jeno being rescued from a tree was too much; you burst into laughter, the sound ringing out in the quiet night. Jeno laughed along with you, his shoulder gently bumping against yours as you walked.

“Also, I once got my head stuck in a banister at my grandparents’ house,” he added, laughing at the memory. “My dad had to cut them just to get me out.”

“The banisters, right?” you questioned, feigning concern. “You mean your dad cut the banisters, not your neck.”

Jeno burst out laughing, throwing his head back. “I don’t know why I’m laughing. It’s not even that funny.”

“Oh, it’s because your happiness is me,” you quipped, making Jeno laugh again. You chuckled, imagining a young Jeno stuck in such a predicament. “But seriously, your grandparents must have been furious.”

Jeno shook his head as he recovered from laughing. “Nah, they adored me. We just laugh about it now.”

You hummed, reminded of your own childhood misadventures. “Well, I once tried to build a treehouse all by myself. I was eleven.”

“Really?” he asked, amused. “How badly did you hurt yourself?”

You scoffed indignantly. “What made you think I hurt myself at all?”

He shrugged. “I’ve seen you with wood and tools. You could not build a treehouse with your skills. Not now, and certainly not when you were eleven.”

“You underestimate me too much,” you pouted and rolled your eyes, pretending to be offended. “The treehouse was actually nice. It just wasn’t sturdy enough to hold my weight, so I fell off the tree… With the whole house.”

“Ouch,” he winced playfully. “Did you get hurt?”

“Just a few scratches and a bruised ego,” you admitted with a smile. “I learned that some things are better done with help.”

He nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Exactly. It’s like our woodworking project. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Honestly, I think I would have done worse without you.”

Jeno’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Well, you were the brains behind it. I was just there to follow your lead.”

“And by following my lead, you mean, doing all the work while I watch?” you retorted, making him laugh.

“Let’s put it this way; you’re the designer, I’m the manufacturer. Credit is 50/50. We both did a good job.”

You nodded, satisfied. “Alright. I’ll take it.”

The night seemed to stretch on, the walk home feeling both too short and wonderfully endless. With each passing minute, you found yourself enjoying his company more, appreciating the little things that made him so endearing. As you approached your apartment complex, the conversation began to wind down. Jeno lingered, his gaze holding yours as if reluctant to say goodnight. There was a softness in his eyes, a warmth that sent a shiver down your spine despite the cold.

“Thanks for walking me here,” you said, your voice softer than you intended. “But are you gonna walk to your dorm alone?”

“No. It’s too far from here,” Jeno grinned and pulled out his phone. “I’ll call an Uber.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “We should have done that earlier! We walked like half a mile from Kayla’s!”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he replied with a mischievous glint in his eye. You both shared a warm laugh, and as he called for his ride, you a sense of contentment settled within you.

You lay awake on your bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying your conversations with Jeno. Every interaction danced through your mind, each word and gesture examined, searching for hints that there might be something more between you. It baffled you how much you liked him, how your affection seemed to grow with each passing day. The more you saw him, the longer you talked, the deeper you fell.

Jeno had been nothing but nice to you—sweet, even, and thoughtful too. Was it a far stretch to assume he might feel something for you as well? Was it too soon to think there was any meaning behind his actions? Probably. Being caring seemed to be second nature to Jeno. He likely treated everyone the same way. Unless he explicitly said so or gave away his feelings through some unmistakable gesture, you knew better than to jump to conclusions and risk ruining what you had.

But what if he did harbor feelings for you?

You turned onto your side, clutching the edge of the pillow. The idea of Jeno being here beside you filled your mind. His presence would warm the room, his voice would soothe your thoughts, and you could share your dreams with him. The thought of his touch, his laughter, and his genuine smile became a comforting fantasy you yearned to make real.

“So? How far did you two go last night?” Kayla asked the next day, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. You were at her house because she’d invited you to hang out with Sienna and Olive after class.

“Who?” Sienna questioned, scooting closer to you on the couch.

“Jeno walked her home last night,” Olive chimed in.

Sienna’s jaw dropped before she started squealing and playfully hitting your shoulder. Kayla was grinning from ear to ear, and you could already imagine the teasing you were about to endure.

“Tell us! Tell us! Tell. Us!”

You shrugged nonchalantly, trying to suppress your giddiness. “We went as far as our feet could take us, which was our apartment. Then he called for an Uber and left.”

Olive scoffed, chuckling as if you had just told her a joke. “Funny. Now tell us what really happened?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. “I hate to break it to you, girls, but that’s all that happened.”

Kayla’s brows furrowed in confusion. “That’s it? Y’all finally had some alone time and that was it?”

You shrugged again while Olive tutted at you. “Girl, you need to up your flirting game.”

“I don’t know,” you said, biting your lip. “I’m scared. He seems interested, but sometimes it feels like he was genuinely just being friendly.

Olive crossed her arms. “If Jeno wasn’t interested in you even a little, why would he walk you home? Half a mile, in the opposite direction to his dorm?”

You paused, considering Olive’s point. “Maybe he was just being nice?”

Kayla shook her head. “Nice, sure. But walking a girl home after a party? That’s more than just being nice. The boy was trying to earn himself some good points.”

Sienna leaned in, her voice softer. “You should show him that you care for him more than just a friend. Be more forward. Let him see that you’re interested.”

“How do I even do that?” you asked, sighing in frustration. “Actually, I’m not sure I want to do that at all. I don’t know.”

Sienna’s smile was sweet, her eyes gleaming with fond affection toward you. “You know what? You’re right. Don’t,” she said, slumping next to you on the couch, squishing you between her and Kayla.

“Just be yourself. If he likes you, he’ll come to you. Don’t be afraid to flirt a little. Compliment him, laugh at his jokes if they’re funny. Maybe show interest in him from time to time,” Olive added.

“O, she’s interested in him all the time,” Kayla teased, leaning her head on your shoulder.

Olive nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I forgot about that bit.”

You took a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination. “Alright, I got it. Be myself. Awkward and shy around him.”

Kayla pouted beside you. “You’re not awkward and shy. You’re fun, smart, and adorable. I’m sure Jeno knows that by now.”

Olive clapped her hands together. “And if he doesn’t see that, well, I have an array of boys better than Jeno. I’ll introduce you to all of them if I have to.”

“As if she’d waste a breath on anyone that’s not Jeno Lee,” Sienna scoffed.

“Fair point.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “You guys are really something else.”

Kayla grinned. “What can we say? We live vicariously through you. The whole cutesy, romcom-ish, borderline obsessive admiration for a crush thing isn’t something we would experience. Given our personalities.”

“Right.” Olive nodded enthusiastically. “So we expect regular updates!”

You found it harder to keep your feelings at bay. Every interaction with Jeno seemed to push you further into the realm of deep affection. You’d catch yourself daydreaming about him during class, your mind wandering to the idea of what could be if only you were brave enough to make a move.

The realization that you were falling for him was both exhilarating and terrifying. The thought of his hand brushing against yours, his laughter filling your days, became a bittersweet longing that colored your every thought. And every day, you felt as though you were losing your mind. Every night, you pined and whined, hoping and dreaming that he was lying there with you instead of wherever he might be spending his night.

One time, he fell asleep in class, his head resting on his arms. The soft rise and fall of his breathing was almost hypnotic. You knew you should wake him up, but he looked so peaceful and, honestly, too cute to disturb.

You sat there, just watching him for a few moments, your eyes tracing the curve of his lashes and that adorable mole under his eye. It was one of those small details you found yourself enchanted by each time you saw him up close. 

Your hand moved instinctively, fingers itching to touch the tiny mark. Just as you were about to give in to the temptation, your heart pounded with the realization of how close you were. What would it mean if you crossed that line? You hesitated, your fingers hovering, before deviating to poke his shoulder instead.

Your touch made his eyes flutter open. He blinked a few times, confused, then smiled sleepily at you. “Please tell me I didn’t sleep through the whole class,” he mumbled, his voice soft and groggy.

You smiled back, your heart racing as you shook your head. “Not on my watch.”

Jeno slowly sat up, groaning quietly as he stretched his limbs under the table. “Thanks.”

You responded with a smile, trying to focus on the lecture. Mr. Harris was talking about cabinetry, introducing the basics and whatnot. Last week, he had announced the results of the woodworking project. Everyone got full marks for accomplishing the tasks, but only those with high votes got special awards. You and Jeno came third, which was slightly disappointing but still impressive.

In your peripheral vision, you could see Jeno’s hand sliding a small paper bag towards you. Before you could react, you felt his warm presence on your side and caught a whiff of his perfume before you heard him whispering in your ear. “For you,” he said, his breath tickling your ear.

He moved away immediately, and you glanced sideways at him with a confused expression. He smiled, leaning back in his chair as he nodded toward the paper bag. Curiosity piqued, you opened the bag to find a beautifully crafted cylindrical wooden pen holder. It was simple and minimalistic but the amount of time and attention put into making it was evident in the clean edges and beautiful varnishing. 

“What’s this for?” you asked stupidly, heart swelling with emotions.

“For your many many pens at home,” he said, scooting closer to you and propping his elbows on the table.

Your fingers traced the smooth surface of the object, marveling at the craftsmanship. “Did you make this?” you asked, your voice tinged with awe.

Jeno nodded, a shy smile playing on his lips. “We had some scrap wood from the last project and I thought throwing them away would be a waste of good material.”

Your heart melted at his thoughtfulness. “Thank you, Jeno. It’s perfect. I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You said thank you,” he chimed. “It’s enough. You’re welcome.”

As the day wore on, your mind kept drifting back to the pen holder and Jeno's thoughtful gesture. You replayed the moment in your head, examining every detail, every word, every glance. Why did he do it? What was it for? Was it a sign that Jeno liked you back? Or was it simply a kind act from a friend?

The next day at lunch, you placed the paper bag on the table for Sienna and Kayla to see. The two of them gawked at it for a few seconds before shooting curious gazes at you. Sighing, you opened it to reveal the pen holder from Jeno.

“Jeno gave it to me. For my pens,” you told them, clenching your fists in an attempt to stop them from shaking.

“Aw,” Kayla lilted, taking it in her hands to examine it. “He knows about your pen obsession?”

“I mentioned it in passing,” you replied, biting your lower lip. “Once.”

“Did he make this?” asked Sienna and you nodded in response. “No way?”

“Yes, he did,” you sang. “Or so he says.”

“You don’t look happy about it though,” Kayla asked, inspecting your expression.

Groaning, you gently hit your forehead on the table and looked back up at your friends helplessly. “That’s the thing. I am happy about it. Too happy, even. I feel like, like… like I’m floating and falling at the same time. My heart is full but it also hurts in a weird not painful kind of way. I can’t explain it!”

“Slow down,” Sienna goaded, patting your shoulder. “Take it slow. Tell us what happened in detail.”

You took a deep breath and chugged the glass of water in front of you before answering. “We were in class and he was asleep so I woke him up. And then out of nowhere, he gave me this bag and said it was for me.”

“Did he carry this around all day?” Kayla questioned.

“Does it matter?” you asked back.

Sienna heaved a sigh. “It does! You were already in class. He even fell asleep in there. But he waited until later to give it to you? Why didn’t he give it to you as soon as you saw each other?”

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

“What else did he say?”

You shook your head. “Nothing, I… I thanked him and then that’s it. After class, we said goodbye.”

“Doesn’t matter,” said Kayla. “This is a clear hint—no. It’s not just a hint. It’s an evidence. Jeno likes you.”

“Okay, let me stop you there,” you told her, raising a palm to her face. “I am already in that route which is why I am losing my mind right now.”

Kayla grinned, unfazed. “Fine, fine. But think about it, he made this for you. He spent time and effort on it. That has to mean something.”

You sighed, feeling the weight of your emotions. “I just don't want to get my hopes up. What if I'm reading too much into it?”

Kayla handed the pen holder back to you, a sympathetic smile on her face. “What if you’re not? What do you have to lose if you just… jump in?”

You shook your head, mouth gaping open out of sheer bafflement. “I don’t know. My mind?”

Sienna looked over your shoulder and then tapped your arm urgently. “Jeno. Jeno’s coming.”

“What?” you blurted, straightening up and tucking his ‘gift’ away. Before you could turn your head to take a look behind you, Jeno was already sliding onto the chair next to you.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, but he was already setting his tray down. Kayla was quick to stop him, holding the edge of his tray.

“Actually, we do mind,” she grinned, batting her eyelashes playfully.

Jeno seemed confused, glancing at you and then back at Kayla. “Alright?”

“Yeah, we’re having a really important conversation about her love life,” Kayla added, motioning to you. You pointed a finger at yourself, gawking at Kayla cluelessly. “We are, aren’t we?”

Technically, she was right. You glanced at Jeno and scrunched your nose apologetically at him. “Yeah. We are.”

There was a flicker of annoyance on Jeno’s face, though you thought you’d imagined it. His hand hesitated as he lifted the tray, and he glanced at you again before resigning with a small sigh. “Alright then,” he said quietly, slinging his backpack back to his shoulder. “I won’t bother you.”

You nodded, waving as he walked away, but a part of you felt an uncomfortable twist in your chest. You turned to Kayla and glared at her.

“Why would you tell him that?” you asked, utterly bewildered.

Kayla had a smug smile on her face. “To see how he’d react,” she said, nodding toward Jeno’s direction.

You glanced back to where he was and found him looking at you. He looked away as soon as your gazes met, brows furrowing as he poked his food.

Your heart sank a little, uncertainty creeping in. What if you hurt his feelings?

Sienna sighed contently. “Was Jaemin right all along?”

“Yeah, he was right,” Kayla replied, nodding.

“Why? What do you mean?”

“My dearest, you clearly have a shot. I don’t know why you thought you didn’t.”

Having a crush is all fun and games until you realize you can’t live without them anymore. Well, obviously, that’s an exaggeration. Or is it? Nah, it is an exaggeration, right? “Right,” you mumbled to yourself, nodding absentmindedly. Then you felt a tug on your elbow.

“Are you okay?” asked Sienna, eyes wide and brows furrowed looking perplexed—and judgmental. You blinked rapidly, trying to shake off the overwhelming rush of emotions.

“Yeah, of course,” you replied, offering a shaky smile.

Sienna’s eyes softened, and she gave you a playful nudge. “Cute. Let’s go. Yangyang’s outside.”

It wasn’t only Yangyang who was waiting outside.  As you opened the door to the backseat of Yangyang’s car, you were greeted by Jeno’s blank gaze, which quickly transformed into a warm, genuine smile and a small wave. You smiled back and turned to Yangyang who grinned knowingly.

“Saw him walking alone on my way here so I picked him up and invited him to join us,” said Yangyang.

Jeno’s smile turned sheepish, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, no! Not at all!” Sienna’s excitement was obvious as she enthusiastically pushed you into the seat next to Jeno. “It’s more fun with more people.”

You sat on the plush leather seats, and Jeno scooted away slightly to make room for you.  The close proximity made your pulse quicken, and you could feel the warmth radiating from him. Sienna squeezed in next to you, her presence further pressing you toward Jeno. She gave you a sickly sweet smile that made you chuckle nervously, trying to ignore the way your heart raced.

“Got the goods?” Sienna asked Yangyang who nodded.

Yangyang’s eyes remained on the road as he reached into the front seat, retrieving a large paper bag and handing it to the back. “Yep. It’s all here.”

Sienna’s face lit up as she accepted the bag, her sweet smile unwavering. “Thanks, Yang, you’re a literal angel.”

You scoffed playfully, rolling your eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

“Of course, I don’t,” Sienna said, her tone light and teasing. She turned to Jeno with a glint of mischief in her eyes. “Are you sure you want to join us today, Jeno?”

Jeno shrugged, his gaze flickering between Sienna and you. There was a brief moment of hesitation before he met your eyes, then quickly looked away. “Yeah. I mean, how bad can it be?”

“What, Spa Day? Not bad at all! If anything, it’s good for you,” Sienna reassured him, her enthusiasm infectious.

You nodded in agreement. “You’ll thank her later.”

Jeno’s smile widened slightly, and he shifted in his seat. “Okay. I trust you.”

With how closely you were sitting, you figured he might have been feeling uncomfortable, which was probably why he kept shifting in his seat and couldn’t meet your gaze. You turned to Sienna and discreetly tapped her knee, subtly urging her to scoot over. She obliged with a knowing smile, giving you just enough room to breathe.

As you adjusted your position, you felt Jeno relax beside you. His warmth and the faint scent of his cologne were oddly comforting, adding to the flutter of your nerves. You glanced over at him, trying to gauge his feelings, but he was focused on the view outside the window, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.

The car rumbled to a stop, and you glanced out the window, noting the familiar building where Renjun, Haechan, and Yangyang lived. Yangyang parked the car, and you, Jeno, and Sienna climbed out, chatting excitedly as you approached the entrance. The anticipation of spending time with your friends and Jeno filled you with excitement, but as soon as you stepped inside, the atmosphere shifted. 

What welcomed you were Jaemin and Haechan, sprawled out on the floor in a haze of smoke. Jaemin, with his relaxed posture and half-lidded eyes, was lazily passing a joint to Haechan, who took a long drag before letting out a thick plume of smoke. Both of them looked completely out of it, their expressions a blend of contentment and mild confusion. The sight of them, seemingly floating in their own stoned world, was both amusing and surreal.

“You guys…” you muttered, shaking your head as you took in their stoned state. Sienna appeared beside you, her eyes widening in disbelief as she processed the scene. 

Jaemin, squinting at you with a goofy grin, greeted you with a slurred voice. “Hey, hey! Look who’s here!”

Haechan giggled, his cheeks flushed as he stared at Sienna. “This shit’s good, man. I can see my girlfriend. She looks so real.”

Jaemin nodded slowly, barely able to keep his eyes open. “Dude, I think that’s your girlfriend.”

“I know. It’s crazy,” Haechan laughed. “You see her too?”

“Nah, man. I think they’re there for reals,” Jaemin said, shaking his head as if to clear the fog.

Yangyang, arriving late and catching sight of his friends on the floor, let out an amused laugh. “Woah, are you guys stoned?”

“Oh! It’s Yangyang!” Haechan grinned lazily, pointing at him.

Sienna released a dragged-out sigh, placing her hands on her hips. “Lee Donghyuck, I swear to God,” she said, her tone calm but carrying an edge that sent a shiver through everyone present.

You tapped Jeno and Yangyang urgently, motioning for them to move. Yangyang headed to the kitchen, while you and Jeno joined Renjun on the couch. The room smelled faintly of incense and the earthy scent of the joint, mixing with the warmth of the gathering.

“You’re here too, Jeno?” he asked, eyes on his book.

“Yeah. It sort of just happened,” Jeno replied, glancing around the room.

Renjun looked up from the couch, looking bored. “I hope you guys are prepared for some interesting conversations today. They’ve been like this for a while.”

Soon, Mark arrived, followed by Kayla and Olive. Jaemin and Haechan’s antics had derailed your plans for Spa Day, so you decided to just hang out instead. Kayla, Sienna, and Renjun were busy in the kitchen, preparing snacks and chatting animatedly, while Mark and Olive scrolled through Netflix, debating what to watch. You and Jeno settled onto the long couch, trying to ignore the increasingly rowdy scene in the far corner of the room, where Jaemin, Haechan, and now Yangyang were thoroughly engrossed in their stoned escapades.

“I knew it was Yangyang’s joint,” you said with a playful scoff, shaking your head. “I can’t believe we canceled Spa Day for this.”

Jeno leaned back on the couch, propping his arm casually over the backrest. “Yeah, I was looking forward to that too.”

“Well, it won’t take long before Mark joins them. You should go over there now while they haven’t finished Yangyang’s entire stash yet.”

Jeno shook his head. “No. I don’t smoke weed.”

You turned to him with a skeptical look, raising an eyebrow. Jeno chuckled at your expression. “You don’t believe me?”

You opened your mouth to respond but ended up just shrugging, a reluctant smile tugging at your lips. Jeno’s playful pout, combined with his sheepish grin, made it hard not to laugh.

“I want to believe you, okay?” you told him, laughing softly. “It’s just… I don’t know. You were friends with Jaemin in high school so, I can imagine all the shenanigans.”

Jeno nodded, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Fair point. We did get up to all sorts of things, but that was in high school. I’ve mellowed out a bit.”

“Taking life a little more seriously, huh?”

“Not too much, just dialing back the recklessness.”

In their corner of the room, the stoners were laughing at something you couldn’t hear. The haze of smoke seemed to waft over, making you scrunch up your nose. “Can’t say the same for your friends over there.”

“They’re your friends too, you know,” Jeno said with a teasing grin.

You grimaced playfully. “Unfortunately.” With a dramatic sigh, you stood up and beckoned Jeno to follow. “I’d kill for a milkshake right now. Come on.”

As you led Jeno towards the kitchen, his presence beside you felt like a refreshing change from the chaos; a comforting escape from the afternoon’s unexpected turn of events.

The smell of food filled the apartment as everyone settled into the living room, ready for a movie. The stoners, now mostly sober and recovering from their earlier high, had retreated to a quieter corner. Yangyang and Haechan were sprawled out, their heads resting on pillows as they drifted off to sleep.

Jaemin plopped down next to you on the couch, still a little dazed from all the earlier chaos, and leaned against you, his head resting on your shoulder. You didn’t mind; it was actually kind of nice. On your other side, Jeno shifted around, trying to make space for you and Jaemin.

Mark grabbed the remote and hit play on a superhero movie. You’d seen it before, but everyone had agreed on it anyway. No matter how different you all were, there was one thing you could count on—everyone loved superhero movies. Even Sienna, who used to roll her eyes at them, eventually got hooked.

You glanced over at Jeno, who was already lost in the movie, a genuine smile lighting up his face. He must've felt your gaze because he turned, catching your eye. Leaning closer, he whispered, “Didn’t peg you for a superhero fan.”

“You’d be surprised,” you whispered back, keeping your voice low so you wouldn’t disturb the others.

As the movie went on, you and Jeno kept up a quiet conversation, sharing whispers and soft laughs. He leaned in whenever he wanted to say something, his breath warm against your ear. Every time your hands brushed—whether by accident or not—it felt like a tiny spark between you.

Eventually, Renjun turned around, eyebrows raised. “You two need to keep it down. Some of us are actually trying to watch.”

You and Jeno exchanged sheepish grins, your faces turning red. Jeno leaned in closer, his voice just for you. “Sorry, we’ll be quieter.”

You giggled, which made Renjun roll his eyes again. “Seriously, guys. Just get a room already.”

Feeling a bit guilty, you made a big show of zipping your lips, trying not to laugh. Jaemin, who had been dozing against you, stirred and mumbled something you couldn’t make out. His weight was starting to make your arm ache, so you shifted a bit, moving his head onto your lap to get more comfortable.

Jeno noticed you rubbing your shoulder and, without a word, put his hand on your shoulder, his fingers warm as they started to massage away the tension.

“Thanks,” you whispered, feeling the warmth from his touch spread through you.

As the movie continued, Jeno casually draped his arm over the back of the couch, his hand brushing against your shoulder and gently tugging you a little closer. You tilted your head slightly, catching his gaze. His eyes held a soft, almost wistful expression, and you felt a flutter in your chest.

“Not bad, huh?” Jeno asked, nodding at the TV screen.

“Yeah, it’s pretty good,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, your eyes locking with his.

In the midst of the action on screen, a quiet, intimate connection grew between you. The subtle moments of closeness—the accidental touches, the soft whispers, and the shared warmth—woven with the comforting presence of Jeno beside you, created a bridge that felt both thrilling and reassuring. The movie played on, but the real show was the unspoken bond growing stronger with each passing moment.

“How was it?” Kayla asked with a playful glint in her eyes, as you scrubbed dishes in the kitchen after the movie. The kitchen had become a gathering spot, with Olive and Sienna joining Kayla, all three wearing playful smirks that made you roll your eyes.

You tried to keep your expression neutral but unable to hide your grin. “How was what?” you replied, feigning ignorance.

Kayla pinched your arm, making you yelp in surprise. “Ouch! What the—”

Your exclamation caught the attention of the boys in the living room, their heads turning in your direction. Kayla just smiled at them as if nothing happened. 

Kayla, undeterred, gestured for the boys to continue tidying up. “You guys better make sure the living room is spotless,” she called out, her tone playful.

Your eyes found Jeno’s—he was giving you a concerned gaze to which you responded with a shrug to tell him you were fine.

“I saw that!” Olive said in a hushed tone, leaning closer to you. “You and Jeno just now.”

“Yeah, what was that about?” Sienna chimed in, her eyes narrowing with a teasing smile. “So fishy.”

“It’s not fishy,” Kayla said with a smirk, joining the others at the dining table. “It’s sweet. Like, flower garden sweet. Like, totally romantic.”

Olive grinned. “More like ‘the guy I like now likes me back’ sweet.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, a blush spreading as you thought about those moments with Jeno. “Go away if you’re not going to help,” you shot back, trying to focus on the dishes and hide your embarrassment.

The girls laughed, clearly enjoying your reaction, but you could feel their warmth. Despite the teasing, it only added to the cozy, comforting vibe of the night.

You hung out until late, playing games, chatting, eating takeout, and laughing for the most part.  There were quiet moments when you would just scroll through your phone lazily, while the others did their own thing. The cozy warmth of the apartment made it easy to lose track of time. Eventually, the clock nudged past midnight, and it was time to say goodbye.

As everyone began to gather their things, the apartment was filled with the quiet buzz of goodbyes and plans for the next hangout. You grabbed your bag and made your way to the door, where Jeno was waiting.

He gave you a small smile as you made your way to him. “Before you go, do you remember the name of that book you mentioned earlier?”

You blinked, trying to remember. When you realized you hadn’t said the title because you’d forgotten it, you scrunched your nose. “Uh, no, I don’t. But I have it at home. I’ll text you when I find out.”

He handed you his phone with a casual ease that belied the slight tension in the air. “Here, just put your number in. That way, you can tell me as soon as you find it.”

You took the phone, fingers brushing against his as you entered your number. After giving it back, he dialed your number and your phone buzzed in your pocket. You fished it out and saw his number flashing on your screen.

“There. Now you have my number too. Don’t forget to text me,” he said, his tone light, but there was a warmth in his voice that made your heart skip a beat.

The moment passed quickly, and soon everyone was heading out, their voices echoing down the hallway. You found yourself glancing back at Jeno one last time as you left, thinking about the quiet connection that had formed between you throughout the day.

As you walked home, the cool night air filled your lungs, and a small smile tugged at your lips. The day had been full of surprises and quiet moments that felt like the start of something new. You couldn’t help but wonder what tomorrow would bring, but for now, you held onto the memory of Jeno’s smile and the way his voice softened when he talked to you.

On a quiet Saturday morning, you paced back and forth in your bedroom, biting your thumb as you stared at your phone and the book lying on your bed. The early sun poured into your room, filtered through the sheer curtains. The muffled sound of Sienna’s morning playlist drifted in from the living room, mixing with the soft sound of your footsteps on the carpet.

You were debating whether to text Jeno, running through every possible scenario that might happen if you did, and most importantly, wondering what to say first. Should you start with a simple ‘hi’? Or would it be better to get straight to the point and tell him the book title he wanted to know? Was it too early to text him? Should you wait until later so you didn’t seem too eager? Would he even reply? And if he did, what would he say?

You stopped pacing, letting out a sharp breath, and placed your hands on your hips. For a moment, you stared at the phone and the book on your bed before picking them both up. Sitting down in the chair in front of your computer, you opened your contacts list with a look of determination.

“It’s just a text. No need to overthink it,” you told yourself, tapping on Jeno’s number to start a message.

You glanced at the title of the book as you typed out your text.

Hey Jeno, it’s me. The book title we were talking about is ‘The Long Walk’. Found it this morning.

Was it too casual? Too direct? You felt a flutter in your stomach as you reread the message for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was safe, not too much, just enough to start a conversation.

Your thumb hovered over the send button, the weight of the moment pressing down on you. It wasn’t just about sending the title; it was about breaking the silence, about seeing if the connection from yesterday would carry over into today.

Finally, you took a deep breath and hit send. There was no taking it back now. You stared at the screen, watching the message transition from ‘sending’ to ‘delivered.’ You squealed, tossing the phone on your bed and jumping around your bedroom.

A knock on the door made you freeze. “What’s going on in there?” Sienna’s voice called from the other side.

“Nothing!” you called back, trying to stifle your grin. “Just excited about something.”

Sienna chuckled, the sound of her footsteps retreating as she muttered something under her breath.

With the room quiet again, you focused on the phone. Seconds ticked by, each one feeling like an eternity. You tried to distract yourself with the book, but your eyes kept drifting back to the screen. Then, just as you were about to give up, the screen lit up with a notification, followed by a buzz. You dived into the bed, grabbing the phone as quickly as you could.

Jeno <3: Got it, thanks! Do you mind if I borrow it?

A grin spread across your face, your heart fluttering at the sight of his reply. It was just a simple message, but as the conversation continued with an easy flow, it felt like a small victory—a quiet confirmation that maybe, just maybe, there was something more here.

Days turned into weeks, and that simple conversation turned into the first of many. In carpentry class, you and Jeno often got paired up, sharing tools and ideas. He had this knack for making even the most boring tasks fun, with his light-hearted teasing that always left you smiling.

“Careful there,” he’d say with a grin, watching you handle a saw. “Wouldn’t want you to lose a finger. Not sure how good you’d be at texting without one.”

You’d roll your eyes, but the warmth in his voice made it clear he was just looking out for you.

In the library, your study sessions often turned into comfortable silences, broken only by the occasional whispered joke or shared look when something funny popped into your head. Jeno had this way of making even the silence feel full, as if words weren’t always needed between you two.

One afternoon, while out for a coffee run, Jeno surprised you by handing you a snack you’d mentioned liking weeks ago. “Thought you might want this,” he said casually, but the gesture was anything but. It was little things like that that made you realize how thoughtful he could be—how he noticed the small details you barely remembered mentioning.

At group hangouts, Jeno always seemed to end up next to you. Whether it was sitting beside you on the couch, standing close at a party, or even asking someone to scoot over so he could be nearer, he found subtle ways to be close.

“Can I sit here?” he’d ask with a grin, even though he already knew your answer.

And then there were the compliments—thoughtful, personal, and always catching you off guard. “I don’t know if you realize, but you’re so easy to hang out with. Easy to talk to, easy to get along with… You’re just awesome,” he once said during a late-night phone call. His words weren’t just empty flattery; they felt real, like he saw something in you that others didn’t.

Every interaction, every shared moment, only made your connection deeper. Jeno’s focus on you during conversations, his attention to detail, and the way he remembered the little things—all of it hinted at feelings that were growing stronger day by day.

“I should just kick them out,” Renjun sighed, taking a long sip of his coffee.

You and your friends were hanging out at a cozy café known for its laid-back vibe and amazing hot chocolate. With Kayla, Mark, Renjun, and Jeno, you’d squeezed into a large booth. Renjun had been complaining about his roommates again, and while you and Kayla were all for him kicking his flatmates out, Mark was trying to talk him down. Eventually, the conversation drifted from Renjun’s woes to a new movie that had just come out.

As the conversation flowed, you found yourself getting into a lively debate about the movie. Jeno, sitting next to you, listened quietly, throwing in a thoughtful comment every now and then. Occasionally, your shoulders would brush, and you’d exchange quick, knowing glances.

Suddenly, someone plopped down beside you, making you and Kayla gasp. It was Hendery Wong, his usual charisma on full display as he tilted his head and grinned at you. “Deadpool & Wolverine, huh?” he said, his voice playful. “Pretty epic, wasn’t it?”

“Yo, Hendery Wong!” Mark exclaimed, jumping up to give Hendery a high-five. “Damn, dude, how have you been?”

“I’m fine. Still alive, fortunately,” Hendery said, his tone cool and nonchalant. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“A while? Dude, it’s been a whole fucking year!” Mark replied, unable to hide his excitement. “When did you get back?”

“Today. A few hours ago,” Hendery answered.

Kayla tutted. “Clearly, being overseas didn’t wipe that smug look off your face.”

Hendery chuckled, clearly enjoying the banter. “Come on, K. You’re not still sore about losing that exchange program to me, are you?”

Kayla huffed, crossing her arms. “Not at all. I was never sore about it in the first place.”

Hendery’s attention shifted back to you, his arm casually resting on the backrest behind you. “And you, babygirl? How’s life treating you?”

You rolled your eyes, though you were secretly glad to see him. “Great. Life was a little better without you around. Now that you’re back,” you paused, wincing playfully, “I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Good,” Hendery replied with a teasing grin. “I missed you too.”

Jeno, who had been observing quietly, shifted in his seat, his expression hard to read. He cleared his throat but didn’t say anything, his gaze drifting out the window.

“Who’s your friend?” Hendery asked, turning his attention to Jeno.

Mark jumped in before you could reply. “Oh, right. This is Jeno. He’s sharing the flat with me and Jaemin. Jeno, this is Hendery Wong. He used to stay in your room. He was gone for an exchange program in France.”

Jeno gave a polite nod, his lips pressed together, while Hendery returned the nod. An odd tension hung in the air, coming from the intense gaze between Jeno and Hendery.

“Well, I should get going,” Hendery said, rising from his seat. He placed a hand on your shoulder, his thumb gently rubbing against your shoulder blade. “Catch you guys later? I thought I saw Renjun here, was I wrong?”

“He went to the restroom. Dude, we should all hang out soon,” Mark said, standing up to bump shoulders with Hendery.

“Absolutely. Just let me know,” Hendery said, patting your shoulder. You looked up at him with a smile, giving him a small wave as he nodded at you.

You watched as Hendery walked away, waiting until he left the café to resume the conversation. Beside you, Jeno’s posture had grown more rigid. His fingers tapped restlessly on the table, and he seemed unusually focused on the menu, avoiding eye contact.

“Is everything alright?” you asked softly, sensing the shift in his mood.

Jeno glanced at you, his expression softening slightly. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

You raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. Before you could press further, Renjun rejoined the table, and the conversation picked up again.

“You won’t believe who was just here,” Mark said, turning to Renjun as he sat down.

“Who?” Renjun asked, looking around.

“Hendery Wong,” Mark replied, unable to contain his excitement.

“No way! He’s back?” Renjun’s eyes widened in surprise.

As the chatter resumed, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed between you and Jeno. It was subtle, almost imperceptible, but it was there—a quiet tension that lingered beneath the surface. For the rest of the afternoon, you found yourself stealing glances at Jeno, wondering if he felt it too.

Jeno first saw you during a basketball game between NCIT and another university. From his seat in the bleachers, he could hear your voice cutting through the clamor of the crowd. While most of the students were shouting cheers and encouragement, you stood out sharply with your enthusiastic and, frankly, unorthodox support.

You were positioned right at the edge of the bleachers, waving a homemade banner that read ‘GO MARK!’ in big, bold letters. But instead of the typical shouts of praise and excitement, your voice was a commanding presence of its own.

“Mark, focus! Don’t screw this up!” you yelled, your tone firm and assertive. There was an edge of urgency in your voice that set you apart from the usual crowd.

When Mark came close to the bleachers, you didn’t hold back. With an exaggerated, mock-serious expression, you shouted, “I swear to God, Mark Lee! If you don’t beat their asses, I will whoop yours!”

Mark just laughed in amusement as he nodded at you, and that seemed to annoy you. “Oh? Are you laughing? Don’t you laugh at me, I am dead serious!”

Your friends beside you chuckled, clearly used to your dramatic flair, but Jeno was intrigued. The contrast between your intense demeanor and the light-hearted atmosphere around you was striking. When you were simply sitting quietly as you watched the game, there was an air of elegance and grace about you. But that air was shattered the moment you stood up and opened your mouth.

As the game progressed, Jeno overheard you telling a friend that winning the game was crucial not just for school pride, but because you wanted to exact a small revenge on your ex, who had, apparently, done you wrong. “We have to win this game!” you declared. “I need to show that lying, cheating jerk that he’s a loser. This victory is for me!”

There was something undeniably compelling about your presence. Your energy was infectious, your passion unmistakable. Jeno found himself stealing glances your way, caught up in the way you seemed to own the moment, making the game as much about your personal victory as it was about the team’s. In that crowded, noisy gymnasium, amidst all the chaos and excitement, Jeno saw something special in you—a spark that he couldn’t quite ignore.

Jeno watched as the game reached its climax, with Mark and his team eventually emerging victorious. In the final moments of triumph, you leaped from your seat, joining the crowd rushing onto the court. Jeno saw you stare at someone from the other team, whom he could only assume was your ex after you gave him a dramatic, unapologetic middle finger.

Jeno knew you were friends with his roommates and that you shared a circle of mutual friends. While he found you intriguing, he’d never had any romantic interest in you. At the time, he was in a relationship, and though he occasionally caught glimpses of you during group gatherings or around campus, there wasn’t much real interaction. You always seemed wrapped up in intense debates with Haechan or animated conversations with your friends, and Jeno never thought much about it.

After a messy breakup, Jeno decided to go on a “healing” road trip with his cousins. The open road was supposed to be a distraction, a way to clear his head. On one of those long drives, they stumbled upon a quaint public library in a sleepy little town—a perfect pit stop for a break. As Jeno wandered through the quiet rows of books, taking in the musty, comforting smell of old paper, he spotted someone familiar.

There you were, perched precariously on a ladder, browsing the top shelves with a look of intense concentration. Seeing a familiar face in such an out-of-the-way place was a pleasant surprise, but Jeno didn’t think of approaching you. After all, the two of you didn’t really know each other. But as he watched, his curiosity piqued. You were tugging at a book, your brow furrowed in determination as you struggled to free it from the tight shelf. It was almost comical, and Jeno couldn’t help but smile. 

As he debated whether to help, you suddenly lost your footing. Jeno’s reflexes kicked in, and he darted forward, catching you just as you slipped off the ladder. For a second, you were in his arms, eyes wide with surprise. Your cheeks flushed as you steadied yourself, looking up at him with a mix of embarrassment and gratitude.

The two of you stood there for a moment, neither sure what to say. There was something endearing about your flustered reaction, and Jeno found himself smiling, feeling an unexpected warmth. He handed you the book you’d been reaching for, and you accepted it with a grateful smile and uttered your thanks again.

As Jeno walked out of the library, he couldn’t help but glance back, catching one last look at you. The encounter was brief, but something about it stuck with him. For the rest of the road trip, he found his thoughts drifting back to the way your eyes had widened in surprise, the way your lips had curved into a smile. And as Jeno climbed back into the car with his cousins, he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face.

On the first day back at university, Jeno noticed you immediately. You were surrounded by your friends, engaging in lively chatter and playful bickering. Mark spotted him and waved him over, but Jeno had to decline, as he was on his way to class.

Later, at lunch, Jeno was walking to the food court with Mark, Jaemin, and Haechan. Haechan began grumbling about you, complaining that you had been a real pain in his ass due to a missing pen. Mark said it was his fault for losing her pen. 

“As if she don’t already have hoards of them!” Haechan whined, stomping his feet.

Just as Jeno was about to ask more, your voice cut through the busy pathway. “Lee Donghyuck!”

Haechan seemed to shudder at hearing his real name. “Gosh! This psycho pen hoarder!” he exclaimed in horror.

Frightened, Haechan took off running. Before Jeno could even glance over, you zoomed past him in pursuit of Haechan, leaving only a lingering trail of your sweet perfume.

Jeno watched, intrigued, as you darted through the crowd, clearly determined to catch up to Haechan.

Jeno started noticing you everywhere. At the public library across town, your name was proudly displayed as one of the top readers for the year. You seemed to live in that library, always immersed in a book while Jeno used it as a quiet refuge, mostly for napping and studying only when he absolutely had to. He saw you in the quad, at the food court, in the school library, and even in the hallways and at the gates. It was as if no matter where he went, you were always in his line of sight.

His curiosity about you grew with every encounter. When your name came up in conversations with his roommates, he’d casually ask about you, careful not to hint at his interest. On the rare occasions you visited their apartment, he’d retreat to his room, listening from a distance but never making his presence known. He couldn’t quite explain why he chose to stay hidden, but he did.

One rainy afternoon, while stranded outside an electronics store downtown, Jeno stood shivering, hoping a cab would miraculously appear. Then he saw you emerging from the diner next door, shielded by an umbrella. His heart skipped a beat, and the dreariness of the rain-soaked streets seemed to lift. Surprised by his reaction, he pondered what it could mean. You struggled to hail a cab, and Jeno wrestled with whether or not to approach you. But he decided there were better times to do that than right now.

When a taxi finally arrived and you were about to close the door, Jeno acted on an impulse. He sprinted across the sidewalk and intercepted the cab door just in time. The spontaneity of his actions left him awkwardly sitting beside you in the cab, unsure how to start a conversation. Should he introduce himself and remind you of the ladder incident, or simply acknowledge that he was Jaemin and Mark’s friend?

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he missed his chance to say anything before his stop. Annoyed with himself, he walked to the apartment, his mood sour. Jaemin noticed Jeno’s dejected expression when he opened the door. “What happened?” Jaemin asked.

“Don’t remind me,” Jeno replied, brushing off the question.

That night, Jeno couldn’t stop thinking about you. Your face, so pretty and striking, lingered in his mind long after the encounter. He was captivated by how your gentle demeanor contrasted with your boldness—something he found both intriguing and endearing.

As the new week began, he found himself looking forward to the possibility of seeing you again. And this time, things were different. Instead of just glimpsing the back of your head or the side of your face, he found himself catching your gaze. You would often look away quickly, but sometimes you’d offer him a shy, bashful smile that left him both elated and curious.

What started with stolen glances and shy smiles evolved into something much deeper. Jeno found himself completely enchanted by you—not just because you were beautiful, but because you were brilliant and kind-hearted too. Your intimidating exterior gave way to a warmth and charm that drew people to you, and Jeno was no exception. The moments you shared—laughing over inside jokes, basking in comfortable silence, and watching your smile light up a room—made his heart swell with affection.

He knew he liked you, but as time went on, he realized his feelings went beyond mere admiration. It was something deeper, something he couldn’t easily define. And though he was still figuring out what to do about it, the desire to be near you only grew stronger.

But today, it felt like the steady course of your relationship was about to hit some unexpected turbulence. Jeno stood in the doorway of his bedroom, his scowl deepening as a swirl of questions raced through his mind. Who is Hendery Wong? Why did he seem to have an interest in you? What was your past relationship with him? And most pressing of all, what was Hendery doing in Jeno’s bedroom wrapped in a towel, straight out of a shower? Why did it feel like this moment was challenging everything Jeno had come to understand about his own feelings for you?

As Jeno struggled to make sense of the situation, he could only hope that whatever was happening would not only clarify the tangled emotions in his heart but also not drive a wedge between the bond he had cherished so much.

“Hendery moved back in with you?” you asked Mark, your voice laced with surprise and a hint of confusion.

Mark leaned back, resting his head on his hand as if the whole situation were more amusing than anything else. “Yep. The guy showed up from the airport with nowhere to crash. So, he’s crashing in Jeno’s room. You know, the room he used to have.”

You winced internally, knowing how much Jeno prized his personal space. “And Jeno?” you asked, bracing yourself for the inevitable.

Before Mark could answer, Hendery plopped down in the chair next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulders in a casual one-armed hug. His grin was impossibly wide and mischievous. “What about my roommate?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

“You can’t just barge into his space like that!” you said, giving him a pointed look.

Hendery leaned in closer, his face only inches from yours. “Oh? Are you worried about Jeno?”

“Yes!” you shot back, giving his cheek a gentle nudge. “You should find yourself a dorm or something!”

“Why would I do that?” Hendery asked with a playful glint in his eye. “I’m having too much fun hanging out with your crush.”

“Is that you, Hendery?” You heard Yangyang’s voice cut through the chatter. Turning, you saw him approaching with Jeno by his side.

Your heart did a little leap at the sight of Jeno, and you felt a warm blush spread across your cheeks. Jeno’s eyes met yours for a fleeting moment before he looked away, his expression hard to read.

Flustered, you started smacking Hendery’s arm repeatedly until he finally loosened his hold on you. Hendery stood up with a laugh, giving Yangyang a hearty clap on the back as they exchanged greetings. You pointed at the chair Hendery had just vacated, and without hesitation, Jeno moved past Hendery and settled into it.

Jeno turned to you with a soft, genuine smile. “How was class?” he asked, his voice gentle.

“Extremely boring,” you replied, leaning in slightly. Your tone was a mix of exasperation and relief.

Jeno chuckled, his gaze lingering on you with a tenderness that made your heart flutter. Before the conversation could go any deeper, your other friends arrived, and the table soon filled up with lively chatter. Jeno had hoped his strategic move would prevent Hendery from sitting next to you, but as the group settled in, Hendery took the seat to your other side, creating a subtle but noticeable competition.

Every laugh you shared with Hendery seemed to amplify the emotions Jeno was trying hard to suppress. His focus on you, his protective stance, and the way his smile faltered when Hendery made a particularly affectionate gesture spoke volumes about the feelings he was trying to conceal.

It didn’t help that you and Hendery had the same classes. After lunch, you gave Jeno a sweet goodbye before leaving with Hendery. Jeno appreciated the extra attention you gave him, but seeing you walk away with Hendery left him feeling deflated.

For the next few days, Jeno made an effort to avoid seeing you with Hendery. He found it easier to focus on his growing feelings for you when he wasn’t constantly reminded of his competition. His strategy seemed to work, allowing him to enjoy quiet afternoons with you in the library, share coffee dates, and savor each other’s company. But as the weekend approached and the group hangout at your apartment loomed, Jeno knew that the unresolved tension between him and Hendery was about to come to a head.

The living room of your apartment with Sienna was alive with warmth and energy as everyone settled in for the long-awaited hangout. It had been a while since the whole group had come together, and the space was buzzing with a mix of excitement and relaxation. The floor was strewn with pillows, snacks were piled high on the coffee table, and the entire room felt like a cozy, informal gathering spot.

You were comfortably nestled on the couch next to Jeno, with Kayla lounging on the carpet with her head resting between your knees. Across from you, Mark and Renjun were in a light-hearted debate about which movie to watch later. Yangyang and Jaemin were sprawled on the floor, playing video games in their phones,while Sienna and Haechan were snuggling on the reclining chair by the large window, occasionally chiming in with the conversation despite being in their own separate bubble.

Hendery emerged from the kitchen, his grin as mischievous as ever. He handed out cans of drinks, making sure to give you and Jeno each a beer before plopping down beside you on the couch. Jeno, who had been relatively quiet since arriving, was perched on the other side of you, his eyes flickering between you and Hendery, taking in the easy vibe between you two.

Hendery’s casual proximity and the way he seemed to effortlessly include himself in the group contrasted sharply with Jeno’s more reserved demeanor. The evening progressed with laughter, conversation, and occasional moments of playful banter, but beneath it all, the unspoken competition and Jeno’s quiet contemplation were ever-present.

“So, Hendery,” Jaemin started with a teasing grin, “what kind of mischief did you get up to this past year? We heard rumors that you single-handedly kept the campus entertainment scene alive.”

Hendery chuckled, leaning back comfortably and draping an arm on the backrest behind you. “I wouldn’t say single-handedly, but I definitely added some flair to the dull parties.” He gave a wink, and the group chuckled. “Let’s just say it was a wild year and leave it at that.”

“Wild, my foot,” you jeered. “Didn’t seem so wild when you called me every day at three in the morning, convinced that your dorm was haunted.”

Everyone laughed, and Hendery groaned dramatically. “Okay, that was only for the first week! And I stand by it—those noises were not normal. When I moved to a different dorm, everything was much better.”

“Speaking of, how’s the rooming situation, Jeno?” Renjun asked turning the attention to Jeno.

Jeno shrugged, trying to play it cool. “It’s... fine. Hendery’s not the worst roommate I’ve had.”

“Not the worst?” Hendery echoed with mock offense. “I think I’m pretty great, actually.”

Jeno gave a half-smile. “You’re definitely something.”

“Do you mean that in a good way or a bad way?” Kayla teased, leaning in with a grin.

Mark chimed in, smirking. “Knowing Jeno, I’m guessing it’s somewhere in the middle.”

Jaemin laughed. “Come on, Jeno. Admit it—you secretly love having him around.”

Jeno forced a smile, shrugging. “He does keep things interesting, I’ll give him that.”

“You hear that?” Hendery said, looking delighted. “I’m officially interesting!”

“You’re officially a pain,” Haechan muttered, but his grin gave him away. The room burst into laughter, and the conversation flowed effortlessly.

Hendery grinned at Jeno. “Jeno’s pretty chill, though. And it’s only temporary. I’m looking into getting my own place in the same building.”

Kayla eyed Jeno. “So, you’re surviving, huh? No more ghost stories at midnight?”

“Not yet, but I’m keeping my ears open,” Jeno said, glancing at you with a subtle smile.

“Don’t worry, Jeno, I’m sure you’ll get used to him,” you teased, sharing a playful look with Hendery. “And if he starts getting spooked again, just give me a call. I’ll give you the lowdown on handling him.”

Hendery laughed, nudging you gently. “See? She knows how to deal with me.”

Mark chimed in, “It’s simple. Just smack him if he starts talking about ghosts.”

Hendery feigned a pout. “That’s not very nice.”

“Yeah. But you’ll find that the back of his head is much much more effective,” you added.

Hendery gasped in mock horror. “Et tu, Brute?”

You laughed, giving him a playful shove. “It’s for your own good.”

Jeno’s smile tightened slightly, his eyes lingering on the way you and Hendery interacted so effortlessly. The jokes, the shared stories—it was clear that you two had a history, one that was filled with memories and inside jokes that Jeno wasn’t a part of.

“Alright, enough about me,” Hendery said, waving a hand dismissively. “What’s been going on with you guys? I’ve been out of the loop for way too long.” He pointed across the room where Sienna and Haechan were cozied up together. “Especially that. When did that happen? And why?”

The conversation flowed smoothly after that, with everyone chiming in with their own stories and updates. You and Hendery continued to share a few more teasing comments, occasionally slipping into old jokes that made everyone laugh—even Jeno, though his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

As the evening went on, the group settled into a comfortable rhythm. But every now and then, Jeno’s gaze would drift to you, watching the way you laughed at Hendery’s stories, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke to him. And though he tried to brush it off, a small knot of jealousy twisted in his chest, making him wonder just how close you and Hendery had been—and what that might mean for him now.

Jaemin, having known Jeno for a long time, noticed the tension and his dilemma. “noticed Jeno’s quiet unease. “You alright?” he asked, his voice low enough to be heard only by Jeno.

Jeno laughed softly, the sound lacking its usual warmth. From his spot by the kitchen counter, he could see you playing rock-paper-scissors with Hendery, Mark, and Kayla. “Honestly? No. I’m not,” he admitted, grateful to have someone to vent to.

Jaemin sighed, leaning against the counter beside him. “I should’ve warned you sooner about Hendery. You don’t have to worry, though. You see how I mess around with her, right? The flirting and all that? It’s fake, as you already know. She’s close with all of us, but there’s nothing romantic going on.”

Jaemin paused, gauging Jeno’s reaction before continuing. “She’s comfortable being close to Mark. Yangyang is like her personal bodyguard. With Renjun, she can tell him anything and everything. Haechan’s like her mortal enemy, but it’s all in good fun.”

He hesitated, then added, “And Hendery? He’s like a combination of all of us. They’ve known each other for years, way before we came into the picture. But, as far as we know, there’s never been anything romantic between them. So, don’t stress. You’ll get used to it.”

Jeno forced a smile, but the knot in his chest didn’t loosen. Would he really get used to it? Did he even want to?

Kayla’s triumphant cheer filled the room, accompanied by your dramatic groan of defeat. Jeno watched as you, kneeling on the floor, wallowed in your loss. Hendery, grinning, poked your head playfully and called you a loser. You stood up and turned towards the kitchen, your face lighting up as soon as you saw Jeno. He returned your smile with a nod.

As you walked over, Jaemin gave Jeno a knowing glance and excused himself.

“What’s up?” you asked, casually taking Jeno’s hand in yours as you reached him.

Jeno smiled and shrugged. “Nothing much.”

“Would you like to come with us to the store?” you asked, your eyes gleaming with excitement. “We lost to Kayla and Mark, so we need to go buy refills.”

“With Hendery?” Jeno asked, trying to keep his tone neutral.

You nodded. “Yeah. He’s being a pain, so I could use some backup. Please?”

Jeno nodded, knowing full well he could never say ‘no’ to you. “Alright, I’m in.”

The walk to the convenience store was cold and you were bundled up in Hendery and Jeno’s jackets, which you thought was odd but gladly took it in stride. Under the streetlights, your figures cast long shadows on the sidewalk and you could see how short you looked between the two guys, sandwiched between their taller frames—a strangely comforting feeling. 

Hendery was talking about the noticeable changes in the neighborhood, pointing out things that were now gone and others that he knew weren’t there before.

“Did Wok’n’Roll close down?” he asked, his tone carrying a hint of nostalgia as you passed by a stationery store that now stood where the Chinese restaurant used to be.

“Not really,” you replied, your gaze lingering on the unfamiliar storefront. “They moved to a different location, but it’s too far from here now.”

“That’s too bad,” Hendery mused, his tone tinged with regret. “We used to eat there all the time.”

A soft scoff escaped your lips as memories of shared meals and laughter filled your mind. “Yeah, I was pretty bummed too. But it’s not like I can drive halfway across the state just to eat there. It was good, but not ‘three-hour road trip’ good.”

It was almost midnight, and the city had quieted down, with most places closed except for a few 24/7 diners, cafes, and convenience stores. The stillness of the night was soothing, the only sounds being your footsteps and the rustling of leaves in the cool breeze. As you reached the convenience store, its flickering neon lights cast a stark, familiar glow over the entrance. Stepping inside, you were met with the artificial warmth and the soft hum of fluorescent lights overhead.

You and Jeno moved through the aisles together, your steps falling into a comfortable rhythm as he carried the basket for you. Hendery, meanwhile, had wandered off, exploring the aisles with a casual curiosity.

“Aren’t you tired?” Jeno’s voice broke the quiet, concern evident as he added a pack of chips to the basket.

“Not really,” you replied with a light tone, glancing up at him. “I was a bit tipsy earlier, but the walk sobered me up.” Without thinking, you let Jeno link his index finger with your pinky, a small but intimate gesture that sent a warm flutter through your chest. You curled your pinky around his finger, holding on tightly as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “What about you?”

“I didn’t drink much,” he said, his smile softening as he looked down at your linked fingers. The sight of him watching your entwined hands made your cheeks flush, the simple act of holding hands feeling unexpectedly intimate.

“I think you’re obsessed with me,” you teased, trying to mask the giddiness bubbling up inside you with a playful nonchalance.

Jeno chuckled, the sound low and genuine. “I might be,” he admitted, his eyes twinkling with a warmth that made your heart skip a beat.

The moment’s intimacy lingered as you regrouped with Hendery at the counter. He took the basket from you, effortlessly laying out the items for the cashier while striking up a casual conversation with the store clerk. Hendery’s ease with people, his ability to make anyone feel at ease, was something you’d always admired.

Jeno, however, seemed lost in thought. He gently tugged your arm, catching your attention. When you looked at him, he tilted his head towards the exit, a silent invitation to step outside. You tapped Hendery on the shoulder to let him know, “We’ll wait for you outside.”

“Okay,” Hendery replied, his focus still on the cashier as he continued his conversation.

The moment you stepped outside, the soothing patter of rain greeted you. The soft drizzle had started while you were inside, and the raindrops glistening under the streetlights made everything feel more intimate and serene. The world seemed to slow down as you stood side by side with Jeno, watching the rain together.

A yawn escaped you, and Jeno moved closer, concern etched in his voice. “You said you’re not tired,” he said softly.

“I was just yawning,” you reassured him with a quiet laugh. The sound seemed to ease his worry, though there was still a glimmer of something in his eyes that tugged at your heart.

In a gentle motion, Jeno unlinked his finger from yours and took your hand fully in his. The warmth of his hand was a comforting contrast to the cool rain falling around you. Leaning into his arm, you felt the steady rise and fall of his breath, the solid presence of him grounding you in the moment.

You stood there in silence, the rain creating a soothing backdrop. It was in these quiet moments that you felt the most at peace, with Jeno’s presence and the warmth of his hand making you feel seen and alive.

Finally, Jeno broke the silence, his voice soft and filled with emotion. “There’s something I have to tell you,” he said, staring at the rain-soaked street as if searching for the right words.

“What is it?” you asked gently, not wanting to rush him.

Jeno turned to face you, his gaze intense and filled with emotion. “I am in love with you. I hope you’re okay with that.”

His words hung in the air, heavy with meaning. Your heart raced, a mix of surprise and joy swirling inside you. Without thinking, you cupped his face in your hands, the rain falling around you as you closed the distance between you. Your lips met his in a kiss that started soft and tentative but quickly deepened as all the emotions you’d both been holding back surged to the surface.

Jeno’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as the kiss grew more urgent and passionate. It felt like everything he had been holding back was pouring out in this moment, and you responded with equal intensity. The rain continued to fall, but neither of you cared, lost in the warmth of each other’s embrace.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, foreheads resting together as you tried to steady your racing hearts. You looked into Jeno’s eyes, searching for reassurance that this was real, that his confession wasn’t just a fleeting moment.

“I’m more than okay with it,” you whispered, your voice shaky but filled with certainty.

His smile was radiant, brighter than you had ever seen. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before pulling you into another kiss. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in your bubble of newfound love.

“Oh, wow, right in front of my sour patch strips,” Hendery’s voice broke through the moment, dripping with exaggerated disbelief.

Startled, you and Jeno pulled apart, laughter bubbling up despite the surprise. Hendery stood at the store entrance, his eyes wide with mock horror and a sour patch strip dangling from his mouth like a comedic prop. He was piled high with the snacks you’d picked out, making the scene even more absurd. Jeno quickly took the other bag of snacks from Hendery.

“Kids these days,” Hendery continued, shaking his head in feigned disappointment. “Right by the entrance too? Unbelievable.”

Jeno’s chuckle was warm and genuine, his gaze meeting yours with amusement and affection. You exchanged a knowing look, the earlier magic of the kiss still shimmering between you, even as Hendery’s interruption brought you back to the present.

The taxi ride back to your apartment was filled with a comforting silence, broken only by the hum of the engine and the rhythmic patter of rain against the windows. Hendery sat beside you, occasionally sneaking in a teasing glance, his lips curling into a smirk as he watched you and Jeno. You wanted to retort, to fire back with your own quip, but your mind and heart were consumed by the whirlwind of emotions that Jeno had stirred up. His hand, warm and steady in yours, would give a gentle squeeze every now and then, silently asking for your attention, and you’d meet his gaze, feeling a flutter in your chest each time.

Back at your apartment, your friends were blissfully unaware of the quiet revelations from the evening. Drinks were poured, conversations flowed, and your usually quiet nook in this big city was filled with laughter and cheer. Amidst the chatter and merriment, no one seemed to notice how Jeno stayed close to you all evening—his tender touches, the soft whispers, and the quiet laughter shared only between the two of you, creating a warm glow that seemed to envelop you both. 

As the night wound down and your friends began to leave, Jeno lingered by your bedroom door, his shoulder resting against the frame as he looked at you with that same tender gaze from earlier. "I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, his voice soft, almost hesitant, as if he, too, was reluctant to let this moment end.

“You can stay, you know,” you told him, looking up to meet his gaze, a sweet smile playing on your lips.

“I would love to, but…” He glanced toward the living room where Jaemin and Mark were sprawled out on the couch, half-asleep and completely drunk. “Someone’s gotta get these morons home.”

Just then, Hendery stumbled out of the bathroom, his earlier cool demeanor replaced by a disheveled look and a pout that made him seem younger than his years. His eyes were bleary as he took in the scene, blinking slowly. “Are we sleeping over?” he mumbled, frowning as he rubbed his temples.

“I called a cab. They’ll be here soon,” Jeno replied, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Good. Can’t sleep here. There’s a weird ringing sound… it’s creeping me out,” Hendery muttered, words slurred, barely coherent. He shuffled over to the couch and wedged himself between Jaemin and Mark.

You rolled your eyes, turning your attention back to Jeno. “Pretty sure that’s just the alcohol in his head.”

Jeno chuckled, the sound warm and familiar, resonating in the quiet of your room. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your forehead in a tender kiss. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you whispered back, rising onto your tiptoes to kiss him on the lips, savoring the warmth that spread through you at the touch.

Neither of you moved to leave. Instead, you lingered there, standing close, your hand still resting on his arm. A moment of comfortable silence stretched between you, filled with unspoken words and shared smiles. Jeno’s thumb brushed gently over the back of your hand, and you found yourself leaning closer to him, not wanting to break the spell.

“Did you see how Yangyang tried to challenge Jaemin to a dance-off earlier?” you asked out of nowhere.

Jeno laughed softly, shaking his head. “I missed that. Who won?”

“Jaemin, by default. Yangyang nearly fell over trying to do some kind of spin,” you grinned, eyes twinkling with amusement.

“That sounds about right,” he replied, squeezing your hand lightly. “Shame I didn’t see that.”

“You were literally sitting there with me,” you scoffed, unconvinced.

“Yeah, well, I was busy staring at you,” he replied without missing a beat, catching you off-guard.

You gawked at him for a moment, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips. “Oh shut up!” you chastised once you found your voice, hitting his chest lightly.

Jeno held your fist, keeping them pressed on his chest as he leaned to kiss you cheek. “It’s true. I will never lie to you.”

“You lied to me about being the mafia earlier though,” you retorted, narrowing your eyes at him. 

He threw his head back laughing. “That was necessary.”

“Nah, you’re just a liar,” you quipped.

The conversation kept drifting from one topic to another, neither of you making any move to end it. You talked about random things—Renjun’s ridiculous laugh during the movie earlier, Haechan and Sienna sneaking into her bedroom, Hendery’s questionable cocktail, and even the weather forecast for the next day.

Every time you thought Jeno would finally say goodbye, another thought seemed to cross his mind, another comment made you both chuckle, and neither of you seemed willing to let the moment slip away.

Then, Jeno’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He glanced at it, the glow of the screen lighting up his face. “The taxi’s here,” he said reluctantly.

You felt a small pang of disappointment but managed to smile. “It’s okay. You’ll see me again tomorrow.”

“Right, I will,” Jeno smiled contently before walking over to the couch to wake the others. You watched as they stirred, stretched, and yawn before filing up to the door.

You walked them to the cramped foyer as they muttered their thanks and bid you goodnight. Jeno had them wait in front of the elevator in the hallway before going back to your apartment door for a proper goodbye. He scooped you up in his arms, pressing a firm kiss on your lips.

“Goodbye, Jeno,” you told him after you pulled away.

“Goodbye,” he said, his smile wide and radiant. 

When he didn’t make a move to leave, you cocked your head to your dazed friends in the hallway. “You should go before Hendery starts complaining about the ringing again.”

“Right,” Jeno said, but his hand still lingered on the doorknob, his gaze locked with yours. He took a small step forward, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll text you when I get home, okay?”

“I’ll probably be asleep before then,” you nodded, your voice softer now. “But okay.”

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Jeno gave you one last kiss—a lingering, gentle press of his lips against yours—before finally stepping back. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jeno,” you whispered, watching him as he finally turned and left.

Even as the door closed, you stayed there for a moment, the warmth of his presence still lingering in the halls of your apartment You locked the door behind you, and went to your bedroom, glancing briefly at Sienna’s door where she and Haechan are probably already asleep. As you finally crawled into bed, the soft patter of rain against the window filled the room, bringing a smile to your lips. The memory of Jeno’s touch was still vivid, the warmth of his kiss lingering like a secret just for you.

It was almost unbelievable, how much had changed between you. Jeno, who once seemed so distant, like a dream you could never quite reach, had just confessed his love to you. It was like stepping into a whole new world—one you’d only ever dared to imagine. You went from being the girl with a secret crush to someone whose feelings were returned in the most beautiful way possible.

As you lay back on your bed, your fingers brushed against your lips, still tingling from the kisses you shared. You’d spent countless nights dreaming about what it would be like to kiss him, to feel his lips against yours, and now that it had actually happened, it was even better than you had ever imagined.

You thought of the way Jeno had looked at you just before he confessed, the mix of nervousness and hope in his eyes making your heart race. The way he had leaned in, the gentleness of his touch—it had all felt so real, so right, that it was almost hard to believe it wasn’t a dream.

You knew it was coming. You had been seeing the signs these last few days. You’d felt the growing connection between you, but still, nothing could have prepared you for the reality of hearing those words, of feeling that kiss.

As you drifted off to sleep, a contented sigh escaped your lips. The night might have ended, but the magic of it was far from over.

That weekend with Jeno felt like a dream—a series of perfect moments strung together in a blur of happiness. You found yourselves tucked away in a quiet corner of the library, surrounded by the scent of old books and the soft, steady rustle of pages turning. Jeno, originally engrossed in an ancient cartography book, eventually gave in to the peaceful lull of the afternoon, his head resting gently on the desk beside you.

You glanced at him, a smile tugging at your lips as you reached out, your fingers brushing through his dark hair in a tender, almost absentminded gesture. The warmth of his presence and the steady rise and fall of his breathing felt like a comforting blanket, wrapping around you as you lost yourself in the words on the page.

After a while, Jeno stirred, his eyes fluttering open as he shifted closer to you. “What are you reading?” he whispered, his voice hushed, still thick with sleep, as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

You smiled, tilting your head to let him get closer. His arms snaked around your waist beneath the desk, pulling you closer. “A poetry collection. It’s one of my favorites,” you replied.

He hummed in contentment, warm breath fanning your skin. “Read me a line?” he murmured in a tone that was soft and inviting.

You flipped back a few pages, your eyes landing on a passage that had always struck a chord with you. With a mischievous grin, you began, “And so I’ll see the railway track, and lay my head upon the rail, And sight the dark and distant train…”

Before you could finish, Jeno bolted upright, his eyes wide with alarm. The startled look on his face made you burst into laughter, but you continued with the same mock-seriousness, “And hear its thunder louder roll, Coming to crush my cursed brain… Oh God, have mercy on my soul!”

For a moment, you both stared at each other, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief. Your laughter bubbled up uncontrollably, and you nudged him with your elbow. “Come on, say something.”

Jeno blinked, his bewilderment slowly melting into a sheepish smile. “What the heck was that?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck, his voice laced with playful exasperation.

After dinner, you found yourselves wandering through a quaint little stationery shop that caught your eye. The shelves were lined with pens, notebooks, and little trinkets that you could spend hours browsing through. Jeno watched with amused affection as you debated with yourself over a pen that you found too cute to leave behind. He didn’t rush you, letting you indulge yourself.

“This is too cute,” you gushed, twirling it between your fingers.

Jeno chuckled, nudging you lightly. “Since you like it so much, why don’t you just buy it?”

You sighed, shoulders sagging. “Do I really need another pen?”

“You probably don’t, but if you want it…” he trailed off, shrugging. “Go for it.”

You grumbled but took the pen anyway. “At this rate, I’ll have enough pens to open my own store.”

His eyes softened, and he pulled you closer by the waist. “Then maybe you can write me love letters with each one,” he said playfully, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead amidst the colorful aisles.

“Don’t tempt me because I might do just that,” you told him, and the two of you laughed on your way to the counter.

When you returned to your apartment, it was still early enough to watch a movie. You both settled in your bedroom, the lights dimmed, a blanket draped over your legs as the film played on the screen of your laptop. But your attention wasn’t on the movie—it was on the way Jeno’s arm rested around your shoulders, how his fingers absentmindedly played with the ends of your hair.

The movie soon became nothing more than a distant murmur, easily overshadowed by the warmth of Jeno’s presence beside you. His fingers continued to toy with the ends of your hair, each gentle touch sending a shiver down your spine. You leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Jeno’s gaze shifted from the screen to you, his eyes soft and filled with a tenderness that made your heart flutter. Without a word, he leaned down, brushing his lips against your temple in a feather-light kiss. You smiled, turning your face slightly to meet his gaze. The way he looked at you—like you were the only thing that mattered at that moment—made your breath catch.

His gaze lingered on you, and without a word, he leaned down, brushing his lips against your temple in a gentle kiss. You closed your eyes, savoring the warmth of his touch. The way he looked at you, like you were the only person in the world, made your heart race.

“Do you know how beautiful you look right now?” Jeno’s voice was a soft murmur, his breath warm against your skin.

You blushed, meeting his eyes. “I don’t know if I believe that,” you teased, though you could feel the fluttering in your chest.

He smiled, his eyes twinkling. “It’s true. You always look beautiful to me.”

The moment felt electric. Jeno’s lips hovered close to yours, a silent question hanging in the air. You leaned in, closing the gap between you. Your lips met his in a kiss that was soft and tentative at first, but soon deepened, growing more intense as you both melted into the connection.

Jeno’s hand slipped from your hair to cup the side of your face, his thumb brushing your cheek as he tilted your head slightly to angle the kiss just right. You could feel the heat of his touch, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours, making everything else fade away.

His other hand found its way to your waist, pulling you closer until there was hardly any space left between you. Your hands, almost on instinct, wound around his neck, fingers threading through his hair as you lost yourselves in the moment.When you gave his lip a soft bite, Jeno let out a deep, satisfied groan that made your head spiral. His hand trailed down from your waist to your thigh, lifting it slightly so it’s wrapping around his torso.

You pulled back just enough to catch your breath, your forehead resting against his. You could feel his breath against your lips, still heavy with the aftermath of your kiss. The way he looked at you—his eyes half-lidded, lips slightly swollen—made your heart race all over again.

“You know, I was actually, genuinely, with no ulterior motives whatsoever, hoping to watch this movie,” Jeno whispered, his voice hushed, almost amused. 

You chuckled softly, glancing at the screen where the movie was still running. “I think we missed most of it,” you admitted, your own voice barely above a whisper.

Jeno grinned, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. “I’m totally okay with that,” he replied, lifting your chin as he drew you back into another kiss.

And as you let your heart go where it wanted to go, you knew without a doubt that this was exactly where you were meant to be.

As soon as you met up with your friends, you could barely contain your excitement. The words practically tumbled out of your mouth before anyone could even ask. Sitting in your usual spot at the food court for lunch, you dropped the news.

“Jeno and I are together now,” you announced, a triumphant smile plastered across your face. You were ready for the gasps, the shrieks, the dramatic reactions. After all, this was big news.

Renjun raised an eyebrow, sipping his coffee nonchalantly. “Good for you.”

You blinked, a little taken aback by the casualness of her response. Kayla clapped her hands quietly, smiling to congratulate you. Olive copied her but both of them didn’t seem surprised at all. Haechan was just scrolling through his phone.

“Wait, is that it?” you asked, confused. “I thought you’d be surprised.”

Your friends exchanged glances, their reactions surprisingly subdued. Olive shrugged, a teasing smile tugging at her lips. “Uh, we kind of figured that out already.”

You blinked, taken aback. “What? How? When? Was it last weekend? We were practically inseparable then!”

Kayla chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Sweetie, you two have been inseparable for weeks. We’ve all seen it coming.”

“Honestly, I thought you two were already a thing,” Renjun chimed in, stirring her drink lazily. 

“But I thought we were being subtle,” you said, your voice trailing off in disbelief.

Haechan snorted, not lifting his eyes from his screen. “Yeah, about as subtle as a flashing neon sign.”

“I’m pretty sure the only reason we didn’t say anything was because we assumed you wanted to keep it low-key,” Kayla added.

You groaned, leaning back in your seat. “And here I was thinking I was dropping a bombshell.”

Olive grinned, reaching over to give your hand a squeeze. “We’re happy for you, though! Even if you’re terrible at keeping secrets.”

“Yes, we’re so happy for you,” Kayla said, grinning. “But you’re not getting off that easy.”

You frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Details,” Kayla demanded, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “We need all the details. How did he confess? Was it as cute as we’ve been imagining?”

“Wait,” Olive interjected. “You’re not the one who confessed, are you?”

You didn’t get to answer them because your other friends soon arrived, making the space livelier with their chatter and greetings. Hendery slid on the long chair next to you, giving you a mischievous grin. You rolled your eyes at him, turning away in feigned annoyance. As you did, you spotted Jeno and your face lit up. You waved happily at him.

“Oh, shit. I forgot about him,” Hendery muttered next to you, rising to his feet to move elsewhere.

Jeno smiled gratefully at Hendery as he claimed the seat next to you. Glancing at you with a sweet smile, he said, “How was class?”

You shrugged. “You already know how they are.”

“Extremely boring?” he said, echoing the same answer you’d always given him.

You nodded, smiling as he took your hand under the table, intertwining your fingers with his and resting them on his thigh. You and your friends talked over a hearty meal. And while you had expected them to at least be surprised that you and Jeno were finally dating, you realized that it was better that their attentions were elsewhere.

Jeno was more attentive than usual, making sure you were eating well, refilling your water, and just generally being… boyfriend-y. You had initially thought you’d be detached from your circle during lunch, that all of your attention would be directed at Jeno. But it seemed like your friends were right, the signs were already there. It was as if nothing had changed at all.

“I should get to class,” Kayla said after checking the time on her watch.

“Oh crap, me too,” Olive added. One by one, your friends started dispersing, rushing to their classes or heading back home.

“Let’s go, babygirl,” Hendery said in a sing-song, standing up and slinging his backpack over one shoulder.

Without thinking much about it out of habit, you stood up to oblige, and Jeno held the hem of your shirt to stop you. You glanced at him inquiringly. 

“Let’s go together,” he said with a slight scowl.

“Oh, okay,” you replied, sitting back down.

For a moment, it hit you that being together with Jeno meant you’d start doing things as a couple, and that might mean figuring out what’s okay with friends and what isn’t.

“Bye Deryry,” you grinned at Hendery, waving a hand. “Have fun being lonely.”

Hendery grimaced. “I hate it when you get a boyfriend.”

“Bye-bye!” you teased, sticking your tongue out. Deep inside, the word ‘boyfriend’ is echoing in your mind. It was a seemingly ordinary term but it made you fee giddy—as it was the label that cemented the reality of your relationship with Jeno.

After Hendery was finally out of earshot, Jeno pouted at you, “Why does he call you that?”

“What? babygirl?” you asked, and he nodded. “He’s been calling me that for ages.”

“I see. But why?” he asked, shifting slightly in his seat and brushing something off your shoulder.

You shrugged. “I forgot the exact reason, but I do know it wasn’t nice. He calls me babygirl as an insult.”

Jeno’s pout didn’t disappear as he twirled some strands of your hair around his finger, lifting them to his nose. “Sounds more like an endearment to me.”

You shuddered at the thought. “Trust me, it isn’t. Ask any of our friends—or my parents. He used to always call me that to make fun of me. It kind of just stuck after all these years.”

“Okay, I trust you,” he said, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

Ooh, is my boyfriend showing a bit of jealousy on our first week together?” you teased.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a very jealous man,” Jeno replied with a grin.

You snorted. “That’s funny because I’m a very jealous woman.”

“Good. I like my women jealous.”

“Oh?” you raised an eyebrow. “Which of your exes was the most jealous?”

Jeno seemed to think for a moment before grinning. “I could answer that, but it feels like a trap.”

You smirked. “Oh, so you remember which one? She must have been pretty memorable.”

Jeno burst into laughter, throwing his head back. “Not memorable enough to have my friends challenge their team to a sports game just to get back at them, though.”

You paused, momentarily confused, then remembered the time you cheered for Mark during a basketball game against your ex’s team. “Hey, how did you even know about that?”

Jeno’s grin widened. “You were so passionate. Even more so than when you cheered for me at the Sports’ Fest championship.”

“My god,” you blurted, covering your mouth out of embarrassment. “Well, for the record, it was two different kinds of passion. I hated my ex, but I liked you!” you declared, pressing your index finger against his chest.

He caught your finger, holding it close to his heart, grinning cheekily. “That’s how long you’ve liked me?”

“No. I liked you long before that.”

“Did you? Really?”

“Yes. I liked you the first time I saw you at the library in my hometown.”

He frowned. “That’s the first time you saw me?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s true!”

Walking to your class, Jeno told you about the time he first saw you, how deeply intriguing you were and how much of an impression you left on him. He told you how that cascaded into a series of events and encounters that led to this—this right now, the two of you, holding hands along the hallways of NCIT as he walked you to your class. The unexpected memories—all of it made you realize just how deeply your lives had been intertwined, even before you were fully aware of it.

“So, what other secrets are you hiding from me?” you asked stopping in front of your classroom.

Jeno’s grin turned mischievous. “Guess you’ll have to stick around to find out.”

“I think I can manage that. But for now, I have class,” you whispered, sealing the promise with another kiss, knowing that with Jeno, every day would be a new adventure.

When you and Jeno were alone together, it felt like the world shrank to just the two of you. Whether you were tangled up together or quietly doing your own thing, there was a peaceful contentment in the air. This afternoon was no different. You spent most of the day in bed, editing your thesis proposal on your laptop, while Jeno was beside you, sometimes engrossed in a book, other times wandering around the house doing little chores.

After finally finishing your work, you realized Jeno had been gone for a while. You closed your laptop and went looking for him, eager to enjoy his company after hours of academic drudgery.

You found him on the couch, deeply focused on his phone, his thumbs flying over the screen. Your heart swelled at the sight of him, and without thinking, you hopped onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. “What are you up to?” you asked, your voice playful, your lips brushing his ear.

Jeno didn’t look up, but the corners of his mouth lifted as you kissed his cheek. “Playing a game with the guys,” he replied, still absorbed in his phone. He leaned into your kiss as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Finished with your thesis?”

“Finally,” you sighed, resting your head against his chest and feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath. “Can you put that down for a sec? I want some cuddles.”

Jeno’s lips curled into a smile as he kept tapping on his screen. “Cuddles and kisses?”

You hummed in agreement, your fingers trailing along the back of his neck. “Yes, please.”

“Alright, just give me a second…” he said, his voice trailing off as he focused on what you assumed was a crucial moment in his game.

Unable to resist teasing him, you kissed his cheek again, then his nose. Sensing what was coming, Jeno pursed his lips, clearly anticipating a kiss. Smirking, you decided to have some fun. Instead of kissing his lips, you kissed his other cheek, then his forehead, and back to his nose, deliberately avoiding his waiting lips.

Jeno chuckled softly, finally looking up from his phone. “What are you doing?” he asked, amusement dancing in his eyes as he leaned in for a proper kiss.

You dodged at the last second, kissing his forehead instead, grinning mischievously.

Jeno tutted, pretending to be exasperated, though his eyes were full of affection. “You little tease,” he murmured, setting his phone aside. He shifted to wrap his arms around you, pulling you close until there was no space left between you. “Stay still,” he said, his voice low and commanding, as he cupped your face in his hands and leaned in for a soft, lingering kiss.

The kiss was slow and sweet, each moment a reminder of how much you meant to each other. When you finally pulled away, Jeno’s eyes were warm and full of love, his smile as lovely as ever. “See? That’s more like it.”

You pouted, pretending to be indifferent even though butterflies fluttered in your stomach. “Be honest, you’re obsessed with me, aren’t you?”

Jeno scoffed loudly, as if offended by the suggestion. “I thought you knew that already?” he said with a laugh, tightening his hold around your waist. “That’s it. Let’s go back to bed.”

“What? Why?” you whined, though you made no move to resist. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his familiar, comforting scent. “I’ve been in bed all day.”

“Don’t care,” Jeno declared, his tone light but insistent. “I need to show you exactly how obsessed I am with you.”

Before you could protest, Jeno scooped you up in his arms and stood, carrying you toward the bedroom. You squealed with laughter, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as he marched you back to bed.

Three months had passed since you and Jeno first started dating, and life had never felt more perfectly chaotic. The two of you had settled into a comfortable rhythm, the kind that comes with knowing someone as deeply as you did. But as much as your relationship with Jeno blossomed, your friendships remained just as important.

Your group of friends had become something of a family—a loud, boisterous, and wonderfully supportive family. The cafeteria was buzzing with its usual lunchtime energy as your group settled into your usual spot. Kayla was already in full swing, her sharp tongue and quick wit keeping everyone entertained.

“So, Olive,” Kayla started with a smirk, “are you going to force us to pose for you again today? I’m still recovering from last week’s ‘artistic vision’.”

Olive rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at her lips. “Please, Kayla, you’re practically a natural in front of the camera. I’m just trying to help you discover your true calling.”

“Yeah, right,” Kayla shot back. “I think I’ll stick to law school, thanks.”

You laughed along with them, leaning into Jeno, who was sitting comfortably beside you. His hand found yours under the table, fingers lacing together with ease. Olive caught the movement and raised her camera, pretending to take a candid shot.

“There! That’s the perfect shot—lovebirds in their natural habitat,” Olive teased.

You played along, giving her a mock-serious look. “At least make sure we look good. I don’t want to be tagged in another one of your experimental edits.”

Olive giggled. “No promises!”

Hendery slid into the seat beside Olive, peeking at the camera. Olive showed it to him, saying, “They look great, don’t they?”

Hendery grimaced. “No. They look obscenely happy. It’s making me sick.”

Jeno smirked, grinning. “Jealous much? Don’t worry, you’ll always be her second favorite.”

Hendery laughed, nudging Jeno with his shoulder. “Second favorite? Please, Jeno, I’m at least tied for first.”

You shook your head at their banter, but you couldn’t help smiling. “You guys aren’t even in my top three.”

Jeno and Hendery stared at you for a hot minute, appalled. You snickered. “I’m serious. Sienna is my number one…”

Kayla raised a hand, “I’m her number two.”

“Three!” Olive added.

Hendery and Jeno exchanged looks. “So I’m number four?” asked Hendery, pointing to himself.

“No you’re not,” Jeno said, shaking his head.

“You guys need to stop doing that, seriously,” you chided, scowling at Hnedery across the table.

Hendery pretended to think about it. “Hmm, nah. Request denied. It’s fun watching Jeno get all territorial.”

“I’m not territorial,” Jeno muttered, but the playful tone in his voice betrayed him.

Hendery leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms with a satisfied smile. “Sure, you’re not.”

Across the table, Jaemin and Yangyang were locked in their usual debate, this time over which video game was superior. Renjun, sitting between them, looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but was too polite to say so.

“I’m telling you, ‘Realm of Legends’ has the best graphics,” Jaemin insisted, waving his fork for emphasis.

Yangyang shook his head. “Graphics aren’t everything, dude. ‘Dragon Quest’ has a better storyline.”

Renjun sighed dramatically. “Or we could all just agree that you’re both nerds and call it a day?”

Jaemin shot him a playful glare. “Says the guy who spent all weekend building a virtual city.”

“It’s called architecture, Jaemin. You wouldn’t understand,” Renjun retorted with a smirk, earning a chuckle from the group.

Meanwhile, Mark was unusually quiet, his attention fixed on his phone. You noticed the faint smile playing on his lips and couldn’t resist leaning over to nudge him.

“Oh my God, Mark!” you exclaimed, drawing the attention of everyone at the table. “Who’s got you all smiley?”

Mark’s head snapped up, his cheeks instantly turning red. “W-What? No one! It’s just...a friend.”

“A friend, huh?” Olive said, her tone dripping with disbelief. “A friend who happens to be making you blush like that?”

Jaemin leaned in, grinning mischievously. “Is it that girl from Hyunjin’s party? You’ve been texting her a lot lately.”

Mark’s face grew even redder, and he tried to hide behind his phone. “It’s nothing serious, really. We’re just talking.”

“Talking,” Kayla repeated, drawing out the word like it was the most scandalous thing in the world. “Mark, sweetie, you’re adorable.”

You and the girls burst into laughter, much to Mark’s dismay. But underneath all the teasing, you were genuinely happy for him. It wasn’t every day that Mark got close to someone, and seeing him this flustered was a good sign.

Across the table, Haechan and Sienna were sharing an inside joke, whispering and giggling like the adorable couple they were. Haechan caught you watching and flashed you a cheeky grin.

“What? Don’t be jealous. You’ve got your own boyfriend now,” he teased, nudging Jeno with his elbow.

You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at your lips as you glanced at Jeno.

Kayla groaned dramatically. “I swear, if you two start being all cutesy, I’m moving to another table.”

As the lunch period wound down, you leaned closer to Jeno, your head resting on his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head, and you closed your eyes, letting the warmth of the moment sink in. Life was good, and with your friends by your side—and Jeno’s hand in yours—it could only get better.

And as you sat there, surrounded by the people who meant the most to you, you knew that this is exactly where you want to be. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

[fin]

[faebaex]

Tangled in Wonderland - Leonotis Leonurus

author note: second poll's winner! also a plant pun for the title, just because (￣▽￣) i feel like Jade would be proud. speaking of, he has a teeny tiny cameo in this fic, simply bc he just fit the situation so well. so far, its been a housewarden clean sweep on the polls, with Azul winning the Octavinelle poll! new poll is up right now, a bonus one this time! who will be the comeback king? go vote if you haven't already! enjoy~

characters: Leona Kingscholar x GN!Reader

The library was your turf.

By this point, you were on a first name basis with all of the library ghosts, and you had a fairly good working knowledge of every section of the library, with Ace and Deuce often seeking you out at your usual table to ask you if you had any idea where a certain book would be. Of course, more often than not that meant that they would then sit at your table and you wouldn’t really get any meaningful research done, not with all their squabbling and general freshman catastrophic energy. When Grim tagged along, it was even worse, but at least you could keep an eye on him and make sure he was actually doing the assignments he was supposed to.

Despite all the time you had been spending at the library, you were still no closer to figuring out how to get home. Crowley was nowhere to be found, taking avoiding you to an entirely new level. The books and reading list that Riddle had provided you, however, had been very insightful. His recommendations were much easier to read than the previous tomes you had been torturing yourself with, and you were starting to see connections between theories, it becoming easier for you to source further reading without having to consult Riddle first. So yes, the library was your turf.

The botanical garden, however, was not. And you were well aware of who it belonged to.

Leona Kingscholar was one of the students at the top of your list to avoid. And considering his personality, the feeling was likely mutual. So you made a conscious effort to avoid places where you could run into him, not wanting to tempt the already volatile nature of fate to thrust you into his trajectory. You were even doing well avoiding conflict with the Savanaclaw students, especially considering they were always looking for a fight and the school’s only magicless student was definitely high on their lists to torment. But unfortunately for you, you couldn’t always avoid some of Leona’s favourite haunts, because what Crewel wants, Crewel gets.

You grumbled to yourself as you picked through the botanical gardens, a basket on one arm and a list in the other. Crewel had kindly brought it to your attention with a lash of his pointer that good ol’ Grim had been using ingredients from the potionology inventory for his lab work and assignments instead of collecting his own before class, as student handbook guidelines demand. With Grim nowhere to be seen and you being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Crewel had handed you an extensive list of every ingredient that Grim had used since the two of you became a joint student, and ordered you to the botanical garden to retrieve every single one of them, or face the consequences. And with Crewel swinging that pointer around, you didn’t wait around to find out what those consequences would be.

Being so unfamiliar with the botanical gardens made this job harder, and the sheer size of the list had you running around in circles, picking one ingredient only to realise that you needed something similar that was back the way you had just came. It was incredibly frustrating, and you found yourself huffing under your breath as you traipsed around the botanical garden. To make matters worse, you had to keep yourself alert, lest there be a certain lion’s tail draped carelessly on the pavestone.

You were well aware that in the game, the poor main character had accidentally stepped on a certain stroppy lion’s tail, and he had retaliated by threatening to knock their teeth out. You’d rather not find yourself in the same situation. You’d briefly considered moving his tail out of the way with a stick or something, but decided that Leona was hardly worth the effort and would likely get offended at you poking at him either way, so instead you had to dutifully watch your feet as you continued on with your laborious task.

You had been hunting for ingredients for about an hour and a half by now, and clubs were starting to wrap up their activities and head back to their dorms. You, however, still had half of your list to go, so there was no such reprieve waiting for you. You wondered if you would be able to drop the basket back to the potionology lab with your half-completed list and promise Crewel that you’d finish the job tomorrow. Surely he wasn’t willing to wait around for you to find all these ingredients? If there was any professor at Night Raven College who you expected to have evening plans, it would be Crewel.

As you pondered your next course of action, you caught a flash of teal out of the corner of your eye. Walking towards you down the pathway was Jade Leech, and you fought the urge to do something stupid like show weakness by tensing or throwing yourself into the bushes. With his usual contrived smile affixed to his face, Jade eyed you in a way that really did make you feel like a shrimp, suddenly giving you a whole new understanding as to why his twin had dubbed the main character with such a pet name. Him being here was an oversight on your part, clearly you had thought that Leona was the botanical garden’s biggest threat, not even factoring in that Jade would use this place to fawn over his mushrooms. Thankfully he didn’t stop, passing you with an elegant stride that you could only appreciate, considering he had only been on legs for two years.

“Good day, prefect. Lovely weather we are having.” Jade greeted as he passed you, with you only responding with a small, tight-lipped smile back. No sooner had his footsteps faded away did the heavens decide to open up, a surprised cry erupting from your lips as you quickly found yourself becoming drenched, the sprinklers dousing the entire area and you in water. That could not have been a coincidence.

The sprinklers stopped as quickly as they had started, but by that point the damage had already been done, your clothes and hair dripping. The list in your hand was sodden, the ink running and quickly making the contents illegible. You growled in frustration, throwing the soggy list to the floor with a wet thump as you tried to squeeze out your clothes in vain. You were so busy trying to sort yourself out, to scrap back any shred of dignity you could that you almost missed the rustling of bushes next to you. Even if you had, there was no way you’d miss the soaking wet beastman emerging from the foliage, ears flat to his head and tail whipping behind him aggressively.

And he was glaring straight at you. Great.

“You got some nerve, herbivore. You got a death wish?” Leona snarled at you and you found yourself prickling up. “This wasn’t me!” You argued, gesturing to your own dripping form before glaring right back at him, “I might be magicless, but that doesn’t make me stupid! If I was going to set the sprinklers off, I’d make sure I wouldn’t get caught in it.” You huffed, once again trying to squeeze the excess water out of your clothes. Your words seemed to pique some interest in Leona, as he was suddenly all up in your space and sniffing you.

“Hm, you’re right. No magic at all, just wet herbivore.” Leona remarked, scrunching his nose up as he stepped back, as if the smell offended him. “Do you mind? You smell like wet cat.” You said flatly with an unimpressed expression, throwing your basket back over your arm with perhaps a little more force than necessary. You swear you could see an amused glint in Leona’s eye as he stooped down, picking up the soggy list that you’d thrown to the ground just moments earlier. “What’s this?” He enquired, holding the list away from him between his thumb and forefinger as if it was toxic, yet still holding it out of your reach when you tried to swipe it back.

“That is mine.” You said with exasperation, your dignity already running down the drain without Leona making you jump to get your list back, “whatever, its ruined anyway. Have it.” You huffed, resigned to having to go back to Crewel with your metaphorical tail between your legs and plead for a new list. Leona eyed you up for a moment before he stepped towards you again, tugging at the basket on your arm to get a look at the contents before dumping the ruined list into the basket.

“C’mon, prefect,” Leona droned over his shoulder as he started walking up the pathway, “I’ll get you some ingredients. First year ingredients are simple.” He scoffed as he navigated the garden like a seasoned pro, his gait lazy and leaving you no choice but to trail after him with a suspicious expression on your face.

“You’re… Helping me?” You questioned, the corner of your lips downturning warily. The Leona you knew was never helpful, only interested if he had something to gain, usually foisting off any inconveniences to Ruggie. “What’s in it for you?” You asked carefully, watching as he picked some stems from a bush and lob them into your basket, making you sigh as you attempted to tidy up his shoddy packing. Leona’s smile was all fangs as he caught your eyes before continuing along the path, “I’m always in need of another gopher. Having you owe me could come in handy, Ruggie has been nagging me lately and you could be just what I need... Plus, the quicker you’re out of the botanical garden, the more peaceful sleep I’d get without having to listen to your huffing and puffing.”

Ah.

Well, you suppose the original main character was truly onto something when they’d stayed up all night screaming outside Leona’s room in chapter three.

Leona had made short work of finding ingredients, and soon your basket was filled to the brim. “Those are all the common ingredients in first year potions. Any missing ingredients are on you.” Leona drawled as you both walked together towards the exit of the botanical garden, his hands behind his head as he yawned leisurely, “you owe me, prefect.”

“How do you even know what ingredients to look for?” You asked, your curiosity getting the best of you as you both left the garden, about to split off on your own paths as you planned to deliver the basket of ingredients to Crewel, whilst you assumed Leona would head back to his dorm. Leona simply kept walking, and you assumed he’d grown tired of you. But then he paused, looking over his shoulder at you with a smirk that you’d dare to describe as cheeky.

“Because I had to search out ingredients for Crewel in my first year, too.”

Huh. Perhaps Leona wasn’t that bad after all, you thought to yourself as you watched Leona’s retreating back, before setting off yourself to hand the ingredients in to Crewel, praying for fate to grant you some mercy for a change.

[spnhunter4life]

Not So Bad

Summary: Bad information on a hunt leads to a tense situation that ends in confessed feelings.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: none

Masterlist

I sighed as I flipped through the pages of the dusty old book I’d picked up out of a mix of nerves and boredom. The Winchester boys and I were in New York of all places. I hated it here. The constant loud noise of the bustling city, the air that was so far from the fresh country air I’d grown used to at the bunker, and, worst of all, the tall buildings that blocked out the sky mixing with the thick crowds of people made me feel severely claustrophobic. 

But there was a monster here that needed to be killed, and the Winchesters always went where they were needed. And wherever they went, I went. So here I was, sitting in the library while the brothers went off to kill the thing. It was some sort of demi god named Daemon. 

I’d never been much of one for fighting. I preferred to be the designated researcher, helping out in a mental capacity instead of physical. Both brothers insisted I at least learn basic self defense and worked with me on occasion, wanting me to be able to defend myself if the worst were to happen, but they never pushed me to come face down monsters with them.

The book I was currently looking through was one of the three I’d been able to find in this library about Daemon. I’d already found the information I was looking for and reported it to the Winchesters. But now my options were to sit here and wait for the hunt to be over so the boys could come pick me up, or make my way back to the motel on my own, and I was perfectly comfortable where I was. Or at least, comfortable enough that it wasn’t worth braving the crowded streets.

I turned another page, skimming the words quickly, barely absorbing what I was reading. Somewhere in the back of my mind I made the distant realization that I was in a library and could go find a more interesting book to pass the time. I didn’t give the idea much thought, knowing that it would be difficult to lose myself in a book when my boys were in danger. I knew how long they’d been living this life and how capable they were, but that didn’t make it any less scary anytime they took off. I knew every time could be the last, and I didn’t take that for granted. 

I was about to close the book and at least find something to occupy myself that wasn’t a detailed explanation of the very thing the boys were facing down, when the sentence I’d just read actually registered in my mind. With a sharp inhale, my eyes darted back to the beginning of the paragraph.

It is a common misconception that Daemon is susceptible to oak stakes dipped in lamb’s blood – a rumor no doubt started by the mischievous deity himself – which is actually quite harmless to him. What most do not know is that Daemon is not a demigod at all, but the offspring of a demon and a faerie. As such, his one and only weakness is a silver blade dipped in holy water.

The blood drained from my face. I’d given the boys the wrong information and now they were off to face an angry demigod – or faerie demon hybrid, apparently – with weapons that may as well have been toothpicks for all the use they would be. 

How could I have been stupid enough to not double check the information? I should know better than that!

I didn’t have time to wonder if maybe this bit of information was the incorrect one. Something in my gut told me it was right, and even if it wasn’t, I couldn’t risk letting them go to their deaths, thinking they had the upper hand. I pulled my phone out and immediately dialed Sam’s number. It rang a few times before going to voicemail. Cursing quietly to myself, I tried Dean instead. Voicemail again.

Fear for my boys overrode everything else. They were all I had left in the world and I absolutely could not lose them. I couldn’t live without my sweet, steady Sam. He was an invaluable source of knowledge on all topics imaginable and he had a calm, comforting disposition that seemed to instantly ease everyone in his vicinity. His sense of humor may not have been as pronounced as Dean’s, but I appreciated it just the same and wondered what would happen if I never got to hear his laugh or see his smile again. 

And Dean. I couldn’t even let myself think what all I would be losing if he was gone. To an outsider, our relationship looked perfectly polite and comfortable. And it was, I suppose – we always got along well and never had a bad word to say to each other – if not a little strained. Although, that may have been just on my end. He never did seem to feel the tension that I did. I couldn’t blame him for not noticing either. After all, I did everything I could to keep him from knowing just how much I cared for him. Just how much I loved him.

Without stopping to think about it, I quickly exited the library and rushed out into the crowded streets I so despised. I ran in the direction of Daemon’s lair – we had known its location since early in the investigation and had only been working on the details of how to kill him – roughly shoving through crowds of people when necessary. 

I was severely winded by the time I reached the abandoned building that Daemon resided in. I was panting in short breaths that seemed to fill my lungs with fire. I didn’t have time to stop though. I spotted the Impala parked in the alley and fumbled a key out of my pocket. I threw the trunk open, grabbed a silver knife and poured a generous helping of holy water over it. I barely remembered to slam the trunk shut before rushing inside. 

I slowed down once I was inside. The building was large and I had no idea where any of the current occupants might be. I was just peeking around an open door, knife held at the ready, when a huge crash followed by a yell of pain sounded off to my right. My heart stopped. That was Dean. 

Please let him be ok. Please let him be ok. And Sam too. Let them both be ok, I pleaded to any god who would listen.

I crept as quickly and quietly towards the sound of distress as I could, sounds of a fight leading me there. Fear like I’d never felt before ran like ice through my veins, but kept me moving forward. I rounded a corner and felt my heart stop again before picking up a racing rhythm at what I saw. Sam was sprawled on the ground. He’s only unconscious, I told myself. The alternative was unacceptable. Across the room was Dean, pinned to a wall by Daemon, straining to break the hybrid’s grip and thrust his oak stake into its side. Daemon clearly had the upper hand and wrenched the stake away from him, throwing it behind him. I barely stopped myself from calling out Dean’s name. 

“You think you can kill me? A puny man, kill a god?” Daemon spat, the rage clear in his voice. 

I charged towards them, knife raised and ready. I was only a few steps away when Dean saw me over Daemon’s shoulder. His eyes widened in surprise before he could stop the involuntary reaction. I saw him immediately look away again, not wanting to give me away, but it was too late. Daemon had seen it. He whirled around to face me and knocked me aside without a thought. It was as easy as if he’d been swatting at an irritating fly. Dean yelled my name just as I collided with the wall. My breath, which I hadn’t even quite gotten back after my long sprint here, left me in a whoosh. 

I watched in fascination and horror as Dean took advantage of the momentary distraction to rush at Daemon. He kicked his legs out from under him before climbing on top of him, pinning him to the ground. They struggled for a few seconds before Dean was able to snatch the oak stake from where it had been discarded on the ground. 

“No, Dean! The knife!” I yelled to him. I had dropped it at some point between Daemon’s blow and hitting the wall. Dean didn’t question me, didn’t hesitate before dropping the useless weapon and searching for the knife. But it was out of his reach and it was clear he wouldn’t be able to hold Daemon down much longer. I started to struggle to my feet to grab it for him, but before I was able to, a large body ran into my line of sight, blocking my view of Dean, and stooping to pick up the knife. 

I tensed, terrified that there was some unknown second thing to deal with now, but soon realized it was only Sam. He picked up the knife and turned to his brother. Without speaking a word to each other, Dean rolled out of the way just as Sam plunged the knife down into the heart of the monster. 

Dean was red faced and breathing hard – and who could blame him after wrestling with a being with supernatural strength – but otherwise seemed alright, so I turned my attention to Sam who was closer and who I worried could have any number of injuries after being knocked unconscious. 

“Sam, are you-”

“What the hell were you thinking?” Dean demanded. Stunned at the hardness of his voice, I turned to look at him and realized that what I’d mistaken for exertion was actually anger. He was livid. I’d never seen him so angry, at least not with me. Why was he angry? This completely unexpected reaction left me feeling small and confused.

“What?” I asked. “What do you mean? I was just trying-” 

“You could have gotten yourself killed!” He yelled. He took a step in my direction and a grimace crossed his face as his leg seemed to struggle slightly under his weight. He grunted, the only sound he would let escape. I remembered his yell, the noise that had guided me in this direction to begin with. He was hurt. Dean, who sat stoically with teeth gritted, never letting more than a grunt escape while Sam dug bullets out of him or sewed up horrible gashes, had cried out in pain. That had scared me more than anything else tonight, the idea of how badly he must be hurt to not be able to hide it.

“Dean,” Sam started in a warning tone. He might have been about to defend me or to tell Dean to cool his temper so we could talk calmly, but I would never know. Anger flared up in me, completely overriding the confusion and uncertainty Dean’s words had caused. 

“Well you nearly were killed! So I guess it’s a good thing I’m here, isn’t it?” I shouted back. I wasn’t actually angry, I knew, just reliving the terror of the last half hour mixed with the relief of seeing them both ok and the worry at their injuries. In short, I was overwhelmed and Dean yelling at me had frayed my already shot nerves. 

“We would have been fine.” Dean deflected.

“No you wouldn’t have! When I got here Sam was on the ground, dead for all I knew, and you were hardly about to win in a battle of strength. And even if you had, your weapon was useless. You would have died!”

“You’re the one who decided you didn’t want to fight! And that’s fine, you know we’re ok with that. But you can’t just not train and then run into a fight with no idea what you’re doing!”

“Guys, maybe we should-” Sam tried again.

“No!” I yelled. I saw a look of surprised hurt in his eyes. I felt bad for snapping at him when he hadn’t done anything wrong, but I was too fired up to backtrack now. “If Dean hasn’t had enough of a fight tonight, then let’s fight! I may not be trained in hand to hand and weapons the way you are, but I assure you, I can yell at you all night long.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed and I saw the muscle jump in his jaw. 

“Sam, can you give us a minute?” He asked in a forced calm tone. 

Sam hesitated, looking back and forth between the two of us before agreeing. “Alright. But you’ve got ten minutes before I’m coming back in after you to make sure you’re not strangling each other,” he warned before leaving the room.

We glared at each other for a minute, neither of us speaking. After what felt simultaneously like an eternity and only a moment, Dean started talking again in that tone that was an attempt at being calm, but I could clearly hear the tenseness and anger underneath.

“You can’t just-”

“You said that already,” I interrupted immediately. His jaw ticked again, and I knew shouting at him when he was trying to deescalate the situation was not appreciated. He tried again in that same infuriating tone, a little more strained this time.

“Sam and I hardly need you jumping in to protect us. We know what we’re doing.”

“That’s not the point!”

“Then what is?” He yelled back, patience worn thin.

“It doesn’t matter if you know what you’re doing or not because you couldn’t have won! I was doing some more reading after you guys left and I realized I gave you the wrong weapon.”

“Then you call us! You don’t come running in after us!”

“I did call you! Neither of you picked up! I couldn’t just sit there and wait for you to die!”

“Of course you could have! Don’t you think we’d rather take our chances with bad weapons than to have you in the line of fire?”

“What would you have done Dean?” I screamed at him. “If it were you sitting around knowing that I was going after a monster with a weapon that wouldn’t kill it? What would you have done?” I felt confident this would be the end of it. After all, there was no doubt in my mind what he would have done, and he couldn’t possibly deny it.

“That’s not the same thing,” he said. He was still angry, but he said this in a quieter voice, the kind of quiet that meant I’d truly struck a nerve. 

“Why?” I asked, ready to swoop in with the metaphorical killing blow and win the argument. “Because I can’t fight, so of course I’d need you to come save me?”

“No.”

“Hypothetically saying I was as well trained as you then. Or that it was Sam. The point still stands. You would have done exactly what I did. You wouldn’t just sit back and let us die, so why would I?”

“I told you, that’s not what I meant,” he snapped. “How do you think we would feel if something happened to you? What if we couldn’t protect you and you got hurt?”

“How do you think I felt, Dean?” I stomped over to him, getting right in his face, letting him see how much I meant what I was saying. “I didn’t know if you would be alive or not when I got here.” I stopped for a breath, the intensity of the emotions I’d felt in that moment hitting me once again. “Don’t tell me I don’t understand what it would feel like. I know exactly what it feels like.”

“It’s not the same,” he said again, stubbornly.

“How is it not the same? If anything, it’s worse for me. You and Sam at least have each other. If I lose you guys, I have no one. I will not lose you. Do you understand me? If that means putting my own life on the line, I’m ok with that.” 

“I’m not!”

“Well that’s just too bad, isn’t it, because it’s my life, not yours!”

“You’re not understanding me! If you would just let me explain-”

But apparently I wouldn’t. I wasn’t doing it on purpose, but I just needed him to understand what I was saying. So I cut him off in the middle of his request that I not do so.

“No, I told you that I understand perfectly. It’s you who isn’t understanding! I’ve never been more scared in my whole life than I was when I heard you yelling in pain.” In the back of my mind, I registered that Dean’s expression had turned from anger to determination. But my brain didn’t seem to fully process this fact, not that I would have known what to do with that information even if I had. My emotions were driving me now, and there was no stopping the words pouring from my mouth.

“I thought that whatever happened, it must be really bad. And maybe I was too late to save you. And it’s my own stupid fault you needed saving in the first place. How could I-”

This time, Dean cut me off. It was only fair, after all I’d done the same to him. This was a much nicer, much more pleasant, much more unexpected way of interrupting though. He leaned down, crashing his lips against mine. As my body seemed to be running on instinct and adrenaline right now, I responded immediately, wrapping my arms around his neck, meeting his demanding kiss with enthusiasm. 

I ran one of my hands through his hair, enjoying the feel of the soft strands between my fingers. My other hand ran down over his shoulder, to his bicep, then over to his chest, loving the strength I could feel in all those hard earned muscles. His hands were wandering too, in my hair one second, traveling over my back the next, and then on my waist.

My brain, which seemed to have shut down for the past few moments – minutes? – decided to start working again, practically screaming at me that this was Dean I was kissing. Dean, apparently experiencing the same returning brain function as me, pulled away. He took a careful step back, creating some space between us. That was probably good. I couldn’t think with him so close. Not after that. His cheeks were flushed red for a whole new reason now and his hair was sticking up in an annoyingly attractive way. I could see by the surprise in his eyes that he hadn’t been planning on the kiss being that intense. 

“It’s not the same,” he repeated, his voice as calm as if we were having a normal conversation on any old day. As if we hadn’t been arguing minutes before. As if he hadn’t just given me the most mind numbing, spine tingling kiss of my life. “Because I love you. And I know that that probably wasn’t the best way to go about telling you, but I need you to understand what it would mean to me to lose you. If you lost me, you’d lose a friend. It would suck, but you would move on. But you’re more than that to me, and I don’t know how I could survive losing you.”

“Have you not paid attention to a thing I said?” I asked him, taking a step forward to eliminate the space he’d put between us. “I told you, if I lost you and Sam I would have nothing.”

“Yeah, but that’s not really true. You could make more friends easily enough.”

“But you’re not just my friends. Sam is my best friend, true, but I love him like he’s my brother. Losing him would hurt me just as bad as losing an actual brother. And you… I couldn’t move on from you any easier than you could move on from me. I love you too.”

“Yeah,” Dean winced. “Like a brother. I know.”

“Not like a brother,” I said, wrinkling my nose a little. “Do you really think I would kiss you like that, or at all for that matter, if that’s how I thought of you?”

“I would hope not,” he agreed. 

“So, basically, you’ve been yelling at me this whole time about not understanding you when, in reality, I understand perfectly, just like I said from the beginning.” I couldn’t help but gloat a little at being right.

The corner of Dean’s mouth twitched slightly in a repressed smile. 

“You know, I think you owe me for scaring me nearly to death earlier,” he said happily.

“I owe you?” 

“Yes. When you came running in here I swear my heart stopped. And then I had to watch you get thrown across the room…” He winced at the memory and I could tell how upset it made him, but he quickly shook it off and kept up his cheerful tone. “I think you took at least three years off my life. Lucky for you I’ll take payment in kisses. One for every year less I’ll live thanks to you.”

Part of me wanted to argue, but the other part was too giddy to even care. 

“Alright,” I agreed easily. I stretched up onto my tiptoes and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his mouth. I wanted to continue the intense kiss from earlier, but there would be time for that later. This seemed like the appropriate response to his gentle, teasing tone. “There’s one.”

I kissed him again, and then once more, feeling like I could burst with joy the whole time. 

“There,” I said after the third kiss. “Does that make us even?”

“For now,” he smiled. “I have a feeling I’ll be finding lots of excuses for more in the future.”

“How’s this for an excuse? I think you took at least five years off my life. I’ll be needing some compensation here as well.”

He grinned. “And I fully intend to pay up. Once we’re home though. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get out of here.”

I was a little disappointed to have to be done kissing him. But I knew he was right. We should get out of here. I knew he was in pain, and I still didn’t know how Sam was doing. Besides, it was only a temporary stop. Once we were home I would have as much time with him as I wanted.

Home. Just the mention of it made me long for it even more. But even though I couldn’t wait to be back, even though I’d spent the whole time here waiting for the moment we could leave, the past few minutes with Dean had made the whole thing worth it. 

Maybe New York wasn’t so bad after all.

Tags: @123passwort @buckybarnes-1917 @chicken-nuggs-and-cozy-hugs @globetrotter28

[koolades-world]

this piece is established relationship! with the nature of it anyways it probably would have been if i wanted it to or not lol. here's the post the idea came from and thank you to a wonderful mutual of mine for the inspo :)

Sharing is Caring

"Satan? You in here?" You pushed open the doors to the library in search of the knowledgeable demon. It was almost totally silent, minus the sound of a gentle, crackling fire.

"Yes. I'm by the fireplace." Satan's voiced echoed through the large room. You shut the door behind you and made your way over to where you'd heard him. "Hello, Mc. How was RAD today?" You quickly made yourself comfortable next to him. You threw your bag down onto the table in front of you and stretched out your limbs. He was reading, as usual.

"Tiring. But not too bad. Baking club was fun. Barbatos taught us how to make a bread that has candy hearts in it. We'll bake it tomorrow. He told us to think of a certain someone while making it for the most desirable outcome taste wise. Guess who I thought of?" You playfully elbowed Satan.

"Was it Cerberus?" He knew how much you cared for that dog, but you also knew he must've been messing with you.

"Noooo. Guess again, silly billy." You loved his tongue-in-cheek antics. Most weren't granted the chance to see that side of him, which was something you were eternally grateful for. He was much more than just the Avatar of Wrath, and it was a real shame others didn't take the time to learn the rest of him.

"Solomon, mayhaps?" You could see the hints of a smile begin to light up his face. You began to laugh as he tried harder to conceal his growing emotion.

"No! I'll give you a hint. He's blond, very helpful, and a genius." You poked his cheeks. He finally put the book down and allowed the joy to overtake his still features.

"So it's Luke then." He himself was beginning to chuckle.

"Wrong again. It's you! You're not very good at guessing games." You swatted at his arms as he put them around you to pull you into his side.

"Thank you, Mc. That's very thoughtful of you." He pressed a kiss on top of your head and into your hair.

"It's going to be delicious, I just know it. Even if the bread is awful, you'll still taste the heart and soul I put into it." You hugged him back, and savored the moment.

"You're so sweet. I'll make sure to enjoy it, just for you." The both of you eventually went back to being productive after you'd exchanged more sweet talk. You had homework to get done and he had a book to finish.

While digging through your bag for your supplies, you inevitably pulled out your pencil case. It contained what was arguably one of the most important tools for completing homework. You tried to fish out your favorite pen and instead found some sort of hard candy you'd been given by a professor earlier that day. You'd personally confirmed it was safe for human consumption, and decided to save it for while you were doing work later. Since it was Satan, despite the fact that he was enthralled in his book, he noticed almost immediately that you'd put something in your mouth. Maybe it was the scent, or the sudden movement, but you caught his attention.

"What's that?" He peeked over the top of his book, intrigued.

"A cinnamon hard candy. It's probably the most normal candy I've had in a long time. Got it for answering a question correctly in Devildom History." You gently blew on Satan's face so he could really smell the cinnamon.

"Where's mine?" He asked. You couldn't tell if he was being sincere or not, but at that point it was too late to give it to him since it was already in your mouth.

"Didn't you have Devildom History today too? You should've gotten your own, babe." You stuck your tongue out at him with the candy right in the center. He lightheartedly rolled his eyes back at you. You thought that was the end of that conversation as he turned his attention back to the book. Little did you know, he was in the middle of devising a plan to 'borrow' the candy from you.

He started by speaking up whenever he could when you were doing your homework. Whenever he saw you hesitate on something, he’d reassure you or help guide you to the correct answer. From there, he would also start to read romantic quotes from what he happened to be reading. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary for him. On the contrary, it would be more odd if he didn't.

"I need a break." You put the book you were holding back onto the table. To mentally relax, you decided to scroll on Devilgram. As you did though, Satan vied for you attention more than usual. Rather than directly asking or whining, he was subtle in his pleading. It didn't take you long to cave.

"You're planning something, aren't you?" You knew him well.

"Is it a crime for a demon to want attention from his amazing, gorgeous partner?" He tried to dodge the question, but unfortunately for him, you saw right him.

"I expect this kind of behavior from Mammon." Satan went silent, but met your gaze. "Do you want a kiss?" You could see the way his features lit up. You planted kisses all over his face, and he returned the favor. When your little exchange was over, you realized something was missing.

Looking over at Satan told the whole story. With a misevious grin, you saw him roll around the same candy while focusing on readiing again. "Satan. Is that my candy?" You knew the answer to that question.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." You could hear the laughter in his voice.

"You win this time. You earned that. Just you wait thought. I'll get you back." You hugged him and began your own scheming. You'd get him in some fun way later that evening. But for now, you planned to just enjoy snuggling with him. He might be a little shit sometimes, but he was your little shit.

[novemberevenings]

somewhere between the stars | chapter 1

Azriel is your best friend. The best, most brilliant, and dearest friend you have ever known. It gets harder and harder to separate your platonic and romantic feelings for him.

A/N: first chapter of this series!!! honestly wanted to write my own rendition of an angsty, mutual pining fic w my azzy <3 anyways this first part isn’t the longest but i’m posting it to motivate myself to write the next part!! (btw italics indicate a flash back!)

The night sky seems peaceful tonight, almost as if it were at ease. A chill night breeze brushes past, swirling in the soft grass in greeting. The branches of a nearby tree sway, the only sound being the soft caress of leaves. Lying with your head laid back against the grass, eyes closed in a mix of exhaustion and ecstasy. 

At the feel of a soft, scarred hand brushing against your own, you open your eyes and tilt your head to the side. You’re greeted with a familiar and comforting sight. Your best friend's questioning gaze and furrowed brows make you quietly ask, “What's going on in that head of yours?” 

It’s a phrase that you both have claimed as yours. When either of you needs to be dragged out of your thoughts, the other won’t hesitate to ask to ground you back to the present. 

He’s quiet for a moment, trying to find the words that are jumbled up in his head. He turns to look at the sky once again before asking, “Do you think they’re watching us?” 

“Who?” His question puzzles you, not quite understanding where it's coming from. 

“The stars, the moon. I dunno, maybe the entire sky.” You’re used to his weird questions. It’s become a thing that you’ve got going on between the two of you. “If they are, I hope they don’t snitch on us.” 

This earns you a light chuckle, his head slightly shaking from laughter. Realistically, the sight of two younglings watching the stars at night shouldn’t be a problem. But for a boy who has to wake up for training early in the morning and a girl who has to continue with her apprenticeship, they could get punished for being out this late at night. 

“I like to think that they are. Watching over us, I mean.” 

“Az, that’s kinda really creepy.” 

He laughs indignantly, lightly shoving at your shoulder. It’s silent again, but you can tell he wants to say more, so you wait. “There’s just… so much out there, you know? It’s so big, and there’s so much we don’t know. I like thinking that, somewhere out there, someone’s looking out for us.” 

You take a second to just marvel at the way he thinks. A sudden feeling of gratitude and pride washes over you at being one of the few people who gets to see this side of him. The side of him that’s bright and curious, hopeful. 

You turn your head back towards the sky, looking at the stars and the empty spaces between them. Your best friend’s words are still in your head, trying to form an answer. 

When you look back at him, you find his gaze already on you. He looks at you just like how he looks at the night sky, with reverence and utter devotion. It compels you to reply, “Well, regardless of who’s out there, I’ll always look out for you.” 

He gives you a soft smile, the one that you’ve come to treasure and look forward to. “I’ll always look out for you, too.” 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Tucked into a corner in the library at the House of Wind, your eyes roam over the page you’re reading. You were catching up on some old texts, brushing up on your knowledge of some spells. As the sorceress of the Inner Court, you always wanted to ensure you could protect your family. 

A clock nearby chimes, and you poke your head out to check the time. It was almost time for dinner, but you still wanted to finish the chapter you were reading. Going back to your book, it wasn’t long until the doors to the library slammed open, surprising a couple of priestesses nearby, an arrogant General waltzing in looking to find you. 

“You know, Cass, they expect silence in a library.” Closing the book with a resounding snap, you stand up from the cozy armchair you’d been sitting in, returning the book to its rightful place on a nearby shelf. “Lovely to see you too, my dearest Y/N.” 

You half-heartedly roll your eyes at him but take the arm he’s offering as he leads you out of the library. The two of you exchange stories of the day, Cassian recounting training with the Valkyries that morning. You listen to him intently, but you stop in your tracks when he says, “Az is coming home tonight.”  

“He is?” Your eyes widen as relief washes over you, not realizing how worried and tense you have been throughout the past week since Azriel was gone on a mission. 

“Yeah, sent Rhys a message ‘bout an hour ago.” 

At your look of shock and surprise, Cassian follows up with, “He didn’t tell you?” 

You softly shake your head, dismissing him. “I’m sure he was just really busy with work. It’s fine, Cass. Nothing to worry about.” 

Your soft, encouraging smile did nothing to ease Cassian’s worry, but he didn’t push on the subject. 

There had been this rift growing between you and Az. Both of you had been quite busy with your duties, Az especially. But you can’t help but feel there’s something else that’s causing this, and you hate it. Your friendship with him is one of the best things in your life, and the idea of losing him was… devastating. You don’t think you would be able to survive it. 

But you plan on fixing it as soon as he gets back. A simple conversation will fix this, you’re sure. 

“Alright, come on then.” 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It was a calm night in the House of Wind. Everyone had gathered for weekly family dinner, and all was well. Everyone except for Azriel, that is. 

To say you were tense and anxious would be an understatement. Even a blind man could see just how worried you were. While everyone else was lounging in their seats and sipping their glasses of wine, you sat with your back straight, hands fiddling with each other nervously. 

“Loosen up a little, Y/N! Cauldron, you look like someone just killed your puppy.” You roll your eyes at Cassian’s teasing. Sometimes, you worry your eyes would be stuck at the back of your head whenever you’re with him. 

“Oh, give her a break, Cass. We all know why she’s acting this way.” Mor says, trying to lighten your mood. 

And it’s true. Everyone gathered around you knows exactly why you were so tense and worried. Despite Azriel sending you a message that he would be back tonight, your worry would not disappear until you saw him with your own two eyes, safe and unharmed. 

It was no secret to anyone how close the two of you were. Best friends ever since you met each other in Windhaven. Your friendship was one of the constants in your life, forever a source of comfort. He was your closest confidant, the shoulder you could always lean on, the first person you celebrate the good news with, and the first person to wipe your tears away when you cry. 

He wasn’t just your best friend. He was… your best everything. 

You tried your best to enjoy the night, joking with your family and catching up on each other’s day. Although your worry wasn’t completely gone, the presence of your family always put you at ease, love pouring through every interaction. 

“As I was saying, wing-warmers should totally be a thing. You don’t know just how much the cold affects our wings. I feel like an oversized icicle flying around the–”

Cassian stops mid-rant as a figure appears in the doorway. Everyone follows his line of sight at his silence, your head quickly snapping towards the doorway. 

And just like that, a week’s worth of worry and anxiety melts from your body. The sight of Azriel in his leathers, all seven siphons gleaming, is one you’ve longed for. 

“Az,” you sigh softly in relief. 

“Hi,” he replies. That soft smile you think is reserved just for you spreads across his face, eyes crinkling a little at the edges. 

That one word was all it took for you to fly out of your seat, running towards him at full speed. He catches you, bringing you into his warm embrace immediately. You tuck your face into the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms as tight as you can around his neck. In response, Azriel buries his nose into your hair, tightening his grip around your waist. 

You pull back slightly, your arms holding his shoulders so you can better scan his body for any injuries. 

At the worry in your face, Azriel asks, “What’s going on in that head of yours?” 

You notice his attempt to lighten your mood and snark right back at him. “Nothing, just thinking about how much you stink.”

He lets out a chuckle, and you can feel his chest vibrate from your proximity. “And here I thought you missed me.” 

You stay in his embrace for a little longer, feeling grateful that he’s returned unharmed, and take a moment to just look at him, reminding yourself that he’s back. A cough sounds from somewhere behind you. “Hello? Care to share him with the rest of us?” 

Rhys’ impatient yet teasing tone makes you and Azriel laugh, pulling apart to let the other members of your family greet him. 

You stand back, watching him embrace everyone else. Finally, you feel settled, like a part of you was missing, and now you’re whole again. You try your best not to think too much about what that might mean, wanting just to enjoy the fact that your best friend is back.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[avocad1s]

Picking Suitors

Anonymous Asked: Could I request more of the sagau au where creator picks suitors ranging from archons to fatui Harbingers and this time could you pleasw include Lisa, Yae Miko, La Signora and Candace (+ anyone else you wanna do). Thank you, I loved reading it very much!

Characters included: Lisa, Yae Miko, La Signora, Candace,

Note: Gotta give the ladies some luv! Sorry for the wait Anon but here it is 🙏

Here’s the original part in case you missed it: Here

Mondstadt’s resident librarian Lisa cares for you so much. When she went to Sumeru’s Akademiya to expand her knowledge, it was to learn more about you. When she returned to Mondstadt to be a mere librarian when everyone knew she was capable of much more, it was for you. Her intelligence is unparalleled and she will always use it for the advancement of Mondstadt so once you arrive, everything will be perfect for you.

To many, it seems that she doesn’t take her job as a librarian seriously, always napping and looking bored when she is doing her job. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Lisa takes collecting overdue books very seriously, especially when the books are about her dear Creator, you. Most books about you are in the restricted section of the library but Lisa cannot get enough of them, she wants to know everything about you to gain your favor.

Gaining your favor is exactly what she did. Once you express to her that you hold affections for her, it felt as if everything she did is finally paying off. She will tease you for your confession, but don’t worry, she definitely feels the same. Her favorite thing to do is to enjoy her afternoon tea time with you, she already considered this part of her day extremely important (besides her naps of course) but when you’re there with her, she looks forward to it everyday. Sometimes she might even offer to take you to Good Hunter and have vegetable soup with it.

Despite Lisa’s carefree nature, she hates it when others interrupt her time with you. The two of you are constantly busy with many things, her with the Library and you with… well basically everything in Teyvat. When the two of you spend time together she’d rather stay somewhere private so no one would bother you. However that doesn’t stop people from trying to get your attention if the witch and onto them, she won’t do anything while you’re around besides pulling you away from the individual. However once you’re gone, they will learn in an electrifying way why they shouldn’t interrupt her time with you ever again.

-

The Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine and the Ei’s best friend, Yae Miko has been surrounded by everything related to you her entire life. She knows how much Ei loves and cares for you, and even though she doesn’t show it in the same way, she does too. She hides her devotion to you under the enigmatic aura around her, but it’s clear how strong her devotion is when people visit the shrine or the publishing house.

When it comes to the publishing house, Yae is known to be very kind and a bookworm, with her favorite books being about you. But when others write light novels about you her way of editing becomes much more strict. She will not let anything be published that sullies your name or anything that contradicts what she already knows about you. Inazuma had a reputation for having the best novels about you thanks to the Guuji.

As a kitsune and youkai, Yae is very mischievous, she uses her impressive skills of manipulation and reading people to gain favor with you. If you’re feeling down, she’d be the first by your side offering you a walk under the moonlight or the two of you can get something to eat together. (You get everything you want for free and that’s a plus for her) If you enjoy reading, Yae would love to read with you, or if you like to write she’ll be honored if you let her beta read it for you. Not only would this give her alone time with you, but the two of you would share a special connection that she totally didn’t plan. ;)

One of Yae’s favorite thing is to see others squirm due to her teasing, and that definitely includes you. She loves seeing you flustered and shy due to her words or touches. But you can make her flustered as well, you’re her God! Having your undivided attention makes her chest bloom with warmth and anytime you ask to let her she feel her face grow warm.

Anytime you leave Inazuma to visit the other nations that’s when Yae truly wished Ei’s version of Eternity was true. Everything staying the same forever doesn’t sound bad to the kitsune at all, especially with you by her side.

-

Oh Signora… she has done many evil deeds for the Fatui but before all that, she was just a simple maiden named Rosalyne. She loved singing, with her main muse being you, she always wished that one day she would be able to meet you and sing to you. 

Yet after the cataclysm she was consumed by hatred, not being able to control the flames that took over her body until she was found by the Fatui and given a Cryo delusion. That was the day she discarded her life in Mondstadt as a maiden and became The Fair Lady, but one thing she didn’t discard was you.

Signora wanted to hate you and blame you for the Cataclysm but she couldn’t. She had lost everything she ever cared about and the only thing she had now was you and the hope that maybe one day she can bask in your divine grace.

When she first met you, Signora presented herself as no more than a Snezhnayan diplomat, acting extremely professional as she escorts you to the Zapolyarny Palace. During the boat ride to Snezhnaya, the only thing that fills her mind were all the songs she had wrote for you all those centuries ago. She was sure the she had forgotten those.

Having your favor means everything to the Harbinger, not only will it help her get her duties done more quickly since no one would dare go against the one the Creator desires but it also brings her a sense of comfort that she hadn’t felt since her days as a maiden.

Signora will do anything to keep your eyes on her, even if that means killing others or having her subordinates blackmail or threaten the one trying to steal your attention away. Surely after you given her a taste of your love you wouldn’t just take it away from her, right?

During her final confrontation with the Traveler and the Shogun, all she could do is pray for you to save her life before her fate is sealed by the electro puppet. If you save her, her love and affection for you grows stronger. She had realized just how fast her life could be taken away, and Signora doesn’t want to leave you, not yet. She would even leave the Fatui just to stay by your side. Late in the night, when the two of you are laying under the moonlight together, she’ll sing you one of her songs. Knowing that her one and only God loves her just as much as she loves them.

-

The descendant of King Deshret, Candace will do anything to protect the Aaru Village. She is the guardian after all.

Candace is a warm and kindhearted person, despite the protests from others in the village, she will welcome outsiders with open arms. As long as they follow the rules of course! So when new of your arrival spread throughout Teyvat, and it was rumored you were visiting the village in the desert, many wanted the guardian to refuse you entry.

They all wanted to believe you were the reason they the rest of Sumeru wanted all of King Deshrets descendants to slowly die off until none of them existed any longer. The sages already sent scholars who were “out of their mind” to the village and you’ve turned a blind eye.

But Candace didn’t believe that.

“They are the Creator of Teyvat. Kind and merciful to all. They created King Deshret, so surely they hold us in their heart as well?”

And she couldn’t have been more right.

Once you had made it to the village, Candace made it her personal responsibility to cater to your needs and make you feel welcome. Even though many had their reservations about you being there, they eventually came around too. You were just as kind and sweet as they’ve been told.

Having you around meant more to Candace then she ever thought it would, she recalls how her friend Dehya told her to find happiness outside of work and she said the village in peace would be more than enough to make her happy. Now, she could think of other things that would make her happy.

And all of those things begin with you.

Showing you around the village, gifting you clothes and jewelry, just simply having you near her means more than she can express.

Candace doesn’t care what others think of her, when she wins your favor many outsiders come to visit the village just to see what is so special about her that the creator themselves wants to give her their affections. Even though the reasons they are there is less than desirable, Candace still treats them all kind and welcomes them with open arms reminding them to follow the rules of the desert.

Anytime you leave the Aaru Village, Candace would use her mora to buy trinkets from merchants who visit the desert. Most of these trinkets would be stored away in her wardrobe for a rare occasion that she decides to put her duties to the side and dress up while she relaxes in the shade. But some of the trinkets she buys she has you in mind. Thinking that this certain piece of jewelry would look wonderful on you.

[anewstartrekfan]

Why I like Kirk so much and why I think he didn’t resonate as much with general audiences as Spock did

I think what Gene Roddenberry and the rest of the tos crew underestimated is how powerful knowledge of a character can be when they thought Kirk would be popular over Spock. As season 1 progresses while you do get information about both Kirk and Spock peppered through out, how much and how it’s conveyed is important.

Spock is Stoic yes, but surprisingly he talks about his past and what it means to be Vulcan a lot. And other characters comment on Vulcans too like McCoy describing where a Vulcan heart is. Even moving onto season 2, when Spock truly, desperately, does not want to explain what Pon Farr is or that Sarek is his father, he admits these things under pressure. And all of this information is what’s gives the audience an idea of what informs his actions.

Jim Kirk however, despite being very outgoing and charismatic, very rarely talks about himself. With few exceptions, every time you do learn something about his past it’s because someone else explains it or points it out. You’ve got where no man has gone before where Gary talked about their academy days, The naked time while Spock talked about his regrets, Kirk vents that he wants a personal connection and then is literally the only person who is able to will the virus to stop effecting him (on his own I mean) just long enough for McCoy to give him the cure.

The Android copy of Kirk tells us about Kirk’s brother Sam, in Conscience of the king literally everyone except Kirk explains his tragic tarsus iv backstory, we never find out who the Ruth girl is in shore leave, and it’s Bones that brings up Sam lives on Deneva. Even in season 2 in the worst episode ever, the deadly years, when Kirk is in a room alone with his ex fiancé, she explains their history. Not Kirk.

This man is allergic to talking about himself I love it.

Edit: Whenever Jim does even sorta talk about his past, it’s always in the context of what the other people he’s talking to know about it. Take Tarsus IV. Spock tells Jim that he checked the same library records. So when Jim finally opens up at the end of the conversation, it’s information Spock and Bones already know. “I saw him [Kodos] once, 20 years ago.” Then about 10 minutes later when he’s talking with Kodos and trying to get proof, he gives Kodos a copy of the speech Jim heard him read 20 years ago. Saying that he memorized the words. Again, these are things only the two of them would know about. It’s not something Jim exclusively went through.

Then later in Obsession when Jim is talking about his prior experience with the fog, everything he references was in the report he made after the Farragut disaster that he knows Spock and Bones read. There is no new information he reveals about what happened to him or even how he felt about it. Bones has to be the one to say Jim was wrecked with guilt because at the end of the day, Jim will never willingly talk about his past without knowing or thinking the other person he’s talking to has the same information. He will not reveal anything new 95% of the time.

Anyway back to the old blog.

While I’d argue conscience of the king does most of the work you would ever need to explain why Kirk is the way he is, the fact is we don’t learn much about his past through him. Instead it’s Kirk’s actions that inform our understanding of him. Which on some level I like a lot. It’s rare that a tv series doesn’t lean heavily into some tragic backstory explaining why a character acts the way they do. But it isn’t just he doesn’t have multiple tragic backstories. It’s what we know nothing about his past in general. Ffs we didn’t learn he grew up in Iowa until Star Trek IV. It might not even be Riverside! That town just claimed it for themselves and everyone rolled with it.

Edit: SNW did confirm after almost 40 years that riverside is Kirk’s birthplace.

The audience never truly closes the gap with Kirk because he never willingly opens up (at least where I am in the show idk maybe the movies change this) So comparatively Spock just had more going on.

[flowerbetweenfangs]

Bring the Storm

M! Djinn (specifically a Jann)/ F! Reader

(Originally posted on A03)

Djinn are known as genies here in the west. A jann was a specific kind of djinn who took on the form of a storm and, strangely enough, a white camel. They were one of the few who weren't actively malicious to humans. In fact, they gave them knowledge.

I didn't seen a lot of rep and thought I'd try it out.

(From the Monster's POV)

Old torches that had rotted long ago sputtered to life, illuminating your path as you entered the cave’s mouth. 

You took one and used it to light the way. Hands ran over worn-away walls, eyes flicking across ancient pictures and carvings. A tattered map was your only guide as you attempted to navigate the tunnels. 

I figured you would try to enter the treasure room, but instead, you moved toward the library. 

An ancient door creaked open with the softest touch. You found a place for your torch and began to look through the shelves. Feverish fingers pushed between books, your breathing labored as you tried to find the right ones. 

As I crept closer, I could catch the scent of you. The way your hand rested at the curve of your neck, your eyes crinkling as you tried to read the spines of tomes long forgotten. Hear the sound of them being moved from the shelves and to a table. I flitted just out of sight, stirring the pages and papers. 

You were so entranced by the collection, I don’t think you would have noticed anything short of them bursting into flames. 

Once you’d gathered enough, I dared venture closer. I thought your attention would be elsewhere. 

Instead, you whirled around to face me. 

The grin across your face would have lit up even the darkest of rooms. So genuine… So… Overjoyed. 

We stared at one another, studying the other’s form. Slowly, you reached up to touch me. When your fingers brushed against my chest, I was a puff of smoke, my form apparating to a darker part of the library. 

Your eyes lit up, and you then began to follow me, questions running from your mouth like a broken dam. No fear. Only curiosity.  

Not about what I was, that you seemed to have already figured out. A Djinn was a rare sight. Jann even more so. I expected, fear, revulsion, begging me not to end your life. 

Instead, you asked my name. 

I told you it, reluctantly. You repeated it and smiled. 

Then, came the inquiries about the library. What ancient knowledge lined the shelves? Could I translate things written in forgotten languages? Was I present for certain events? Did I know famous figures in your history? 

You counted off on your fingers, comparing conflicting reports, and which side you found had more merit. The questions soon started again. 

They came too fast for me to properly answer, so I put a small cloud to your lips. 

Your eyes still glowed, not wanting to waste the opportunity. Lips moved against me, letting warm breath roll over my twisting form. But you remained silent if eager. My eyes drifted to the contact, and I slowly retracted. 

I informed you that I would answer three questions, in exchange for something of equal value. 

That gave you pause. 

What could a creature like me, entombed with treasures and tomes that no human could use in their entire lifetime, possibly consider a fair price to pay? You looked ready to give up your very soul for a chance to peruse the shelves. 

You nodded, now much more cautious with your curiosity. You retreated back to the books, determined to find what you could on your own. A breeze rolled over your shoulder as I, too, read along. 

If you noticed, you were too polite to say. Although you did shift so the tome could be seen from behind. 

Hours passed, pen scratching over the paper as you translated ancient words. You called for me. I never left your side, but still made a show of appearing at it. 

You told of a beast that terrorized your village, and that there seemed to be no way to defeat it. It had dried your wells and withered your crops, leaving everyone at its mercy. 

It would hold off its attacks and replenish the resources with the sacrifice of one unmarried woman a month. There was no doubt they were being sent to their death… Or worse. 

But it was better to knowingly sacrifice one than risk the entire village, the elders had rationalized. 

The ancient texts showed nothing and I could tell your task was urgent. 

Preparing, you pulled out a journal, pen hovering over the paper. The tip of your tongue pressed down in sync with the pen, the blot of ink starting to bleed. 

I reminded you of the price. Nothing in life ever came free, after all. 

The fire in your eyes remained, and I was sure even the worst storm couldn’t extinguish it. 

So, I took the pen and papers from you and set them down on the table. 

You seemed concerned, almost frightened, but you had a resolve. The line between bravery and stupidity grew thinner as I circled around you. Books flew off shelves, pages flipping to show ancient beasts. Scrolls unrolled and encircled you. Powerful winds threw your body around, threatening to slam you into the shelves.

Fists balled, you shouted at the growing storm to name its price. 

The dark clouds forming began to show images. 

The water returned after a stone was removed from each pathway, a task that could easily take twelve people. 

The crops flourished when a minion of the beast was killed, while it was small, it proved to be fast and nimble, scampering out of sight. 

And finally, the fall of the creature at the hands of a much larger shadow. In its place, a new being stood over the village as a protector. 

Three questions. Three answers. One price. 

“There are people to move the rocks blocking the water. People to kill the creature in the fields. But who will bind the new protector of the village?” 

The storm cleared, and I appeared in front of you. My touch was a light breeze as I cupped your face, brushing over your lip. You took me into your mouth, the tip of that tantalizing tongue tracing, sending a chill through my form. 

Who would have thought such a tongue would have more than a talent for words? 

Your eyes shimmered with the one thing you desired more than knowledge. Power? Or something more… Primal? But you had found your answers, and you were willing to pay the price. 

Clothes and inhibitions slipped away, and you stood before me, naked as the day you were born. Years of living in the desert had never left me feeling so heated.  

I could feel myself forming, tailoring myself to your every desire. Down to the last eyelash. Of course, it wasn’t perfect. Nothing ever is. I was still mostly fog, but enough to get the job done. The small taste we’d shared was only the beginning. 

Papers flew in the air as we slammed into the nearest bookshelf, our lips meeting. Your very breath became my own. Legs wrapped around my waist, hands tangling in smoke that became solid at your touch. 

Your thighs and calves slipped down me, before I wrapped my newly formed hands around them and I ground my hips. A moan passed your lips, the sound vibrating through me. In it, I could see a brief flash into your mind, the carnal need that you had long suppressed.

Then, I ran my hands up your body, following every slight curve and angle, before seizing your wrists and holding them above your head. They lifted you up the shelf, becoming manacles and leaving your legs dangling. I wrapped them around my shoulders. 

My newly formed mouth mingled with your lower lips. The conversation between us was rather one-sided, but I don’t think you minded listening to what I had to say. 

My tongue plunged in, drawing a sigh or moan out of you with each lick. Despite how quiet you attempted to be, each noise was an explosion in my ears. It showed me a flash of memory, a piece of your being. So much to learn... 

Fingers formed and became more refined as they continued to explore, going deeper than my tongue ever could. And what wonderful sounds they drew from you. 

What great scholar doesn’t make sure that his findings are thorough and sound? Checks all his sources, and makes sure to cite them. My hands and mouth hungrily researched, making sure to take note of every sigh and whimper that they drew from you. 

You shook, breath hitched, sweat glistening on your skin in the torchlight. Like a sacrifice to be made, but to a different beast than expected. Fog caressed your flesh and you cried out, calling my name, citing the source of your pleasure over and over again. 

What a good little student. 

When I felt that my mouth and fingers had done enough work, I slowly released you.  Sliding down safely into my arms, your legs wrapped around my waist. Far more securely this time. 

I held you close, fingers tangling in your hair. Burying my still-forming face into your neck, I inhaled your scent. Warmth mingled, the thundering of your heart signaling your own storm building.  

And I wanted to be caught up in it. 

Our lips crashed together again, your nails raking down my back. When we parted, your teeth clamped down on my neck and shoulder. You refused to let up as if you were afraid I would cease to be solid if you allowed me a moment’s respite. 

What a wonderful sensation it was. Feeling the heat of your breath, the rumbling in your throat as the primal side of you teased, seeing the hunter’s glint in your eyes. 

Hips ground into mine, a new bit of research needing to be done. 

Your back pressed to the shelf, arms and legs entangled around me. It was a sight that I wouldn’t forget. I leaned in, covering your mouth with mine. You eagerly plunged your tongue in, exploring just as I had. 

My hips rolled, and I could feel you tighten around me. A perfectly formed addition, sliding so easily inside you. Not one to rush into things, I teased. Sliding in just enough to make you writhe, trying to slide down onto me, before pulling back again. You clutched me even tighter, eyes clouding over with ecstasy. The impatience was returning, but you wanted it to last. 

I gradually let more go in, and you rewarded me with moans and sighs. Each sound stoked something inside me, and I could feel myself start to give in. 

My tongue probed as I thrust, allowing myself to finally drown in the sensation of you. 

You took me all the way inside, a catching breath coming to your lips. The new sound drew my attention, for I feared that I had harmed you. Instead, your fingers laced at the nape of my neck. You had come this far, and you were prepared to ride out the storm. 

 With that, our forms became one, fog and skin twisting and entangling with one another. The sweat and condensation covered both of us, making us slick, forcing one to cling tighter to the other. 

As I continued to thrust, your moans turned to screams of pleasure. You held onto me so tight that I feared I wouldn’t be able to move. But I pressed you firmly against the shelf, determined.  

Each time you took me in, I could feel the bond growing, tying us closer and closer together. Until it felt like a millstone around my neck. The tantalizing answers to questions unasked, just out of my reach. 

You had turned the tables on me. But rather than demanding a price, you held the answers just out of reach. 

We slipped from the shelf. I caught us, your body levitating inches from the ground. I began to thrust in earnest, bringing you into the air, forcing you to cling even tighter to me. Once more, you brought me to the brink, tantalizing me with the answers. 

I felt it slip by, fingers brushing before it was yanked away. I unraveled, spilling all I had inside you. I don’t know how much of it you were able to take or comprehend, but I could feel the change start within you. So much power and knowledge dumped inside a mortal, it was a miracle you survived. 

Thankfully, I was able to stay solid enough to guide you to the floor rather than drop you. 

As you laid on the ground, I formed a protective cloud around you. Unneeded, probably, but to let you know I was there. Your labored breathing filled my ears, and I craved the physical form again. An amorphous hand grabbed yours. And as you slipped into slumber, you clutched it tight. 

The next morning, once you’d dressed, we exited the mouth of the cave. 

The fire in our eyes was back, this time making your eyes glow in the darkness of the night. More determined than ever to bring the storm back to the village. 

[lanitalay]

A Winter Night Made Fire

Lucien x reader (he's not mated to Elain in this)

a/n: I really cant stop writing about wanting beron dead lol

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none, its a lil angsty but only if you squint

The days seemed longer. Whenever he was away they dragged on for ages. Time, so much time passed between each of his visits. You understood, somewhat. He was emissary, first for Spring, then for Night, now… Now you weren’t sure where he was or who’s agenda he was furthering.  

You used to travel too. Only a few fae know the real reason you stay in Winter, despite the bitter cold. Because of his newfound allegiance to the Band of Exiles, Lucien isn’t included in that list. 

It stings. Knowing that the last time you saw him was Starfall, six months ago. 

The letters you receive from home don’t mention him. Even if he wanted to write, he doesn’t know where you are. With a long breath you try to forget that you don’t know where he is, either. 

Azriel had sent  you here to monitor Autumn and Spring. You were to report any movement in the southern courts. Anything, no matter how trivial. So far you’d gathered that Beron was meeting with Tamlin once a month. Your sources say he leaves unhappy each time. 

The daylight in Winter is shorter than the rest of Prythian. Nights are incredibly long and, if no one is warming your bed, lonely as well. You spend as much time as possible reading correspondence, writing letters, coordinating meetings. Trying to stay one step ahead of them, of whatever it is that Beron is masterminding. It’s in the air. Whispers carrying rumors of unrest. 

It felt like the threat of conflict loomed in perpetuity on this land. The war with Hybern was less than three years ago. But Koschei… Lucien would probably be of use right now with his knowledge. 

But he wasn’t to be trusted. He wasn’t anywhere to be found. 

You know it's too late when you can’t see the moon from your window, so you clean up all of the precious information and place it in the scattered hiding spots in your room. Before closing the curtains, you look at the snow covered hills that seem to go on forever. If you hadn’t been looking at those same hills for months, you might think they are breathtaking. 

The next morning Vivianne greets you at breakfast with a smile. “Good morning, did you sleep well?” 

You touch your face, wondering if your exhaustion is that obvious. “I was up late reading, didn’t get much sleep at all.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that. I wish I could say that you could rest, but we have a guest arriving today and Kallias asked if you could receive him since you already know each other, it might make him more comfortable to see a friendly face.”

You scrunch your brows, this was the first you’d heard of a visitor. “Who is visiting?” 

“Lucien Vanserra.” 

You take a beat too long to respond. “Oh.” 

“You do know him, don’t you? He’s also emissary for Night so I just assumed.” 

“Yes- yes, I know him. I just have not seen him in a while.” The Mother worked in mysterious ways. You could not tell her outright that Lucien was not necessarily part of the Night Court, or any court, without spoiling the opportunity to learn why. 

What did he want? Why did he leave? 

So an hour later you are by Kallias’ side as Lucien, whom you used to call yours, is escorted through the greeting hall. It's an encounter of stoic faces. Seemingly no one is particularly happy to be here. You go through the formal protocols with a gritted jaw. Both of his hands seem intact, he could have written. Sure, he didn’t know where you were but he could have asked. He could have given signs of life. 

“Thank you again for hosting me on short notice, but it is pertinent that we meet.” 

“Of course, would you like y/n to join us?” 

Without even glancing your way he says “no.”

You vowed to yourself you’d chew his head off later, when no prying eyes would see. It was only fair you sit out the meeting, you told yourself as you walked the length of the hall towards the library, your assignment is classified. As far as Kallias and Vivianne know, you are just an emissary. 

You see him again at dinner. Even though the food is delicious, you cannot stomach eating any of it. Not when he’s sitting across from you, the portrait of nonchalance. It surprises you when he breaks the silence. “Winter seems to suit you, y/n.” 

Stabbing his hands with your fork would be so easy, he’s right there… But no, you compose yourself before answering.

“Thank you, Vivianne and Kallias have been very gracious.”

“I wonder why Rhysand sent you here, doesn’t Morrigan usually handle emissary duties for this court?” 

You nudge him under the table. This was inappropriate conversation. “She does, but she’s been held up in the Continent for some time.” 

“Ah.” 

Vivianne speaks next. “Did you meet in the Night court?”

You answer before he can. “No.”

The High Lord and Lady look at you expectantly. “Well the first time we met was in the Autumn Court, when we were children. A lifetime ago, really.” 

“That’s right, I forget you are originally from Autumn.” 

“Lord y/l/n was a member of my fathers council.” Lucien clarifies.

“Were you friends back then?” Kallias asks, clearly trying to understand your dynamic. If only he knew how, for most of your life, Lucien was… You couldn’t bring yourself to even think about it. 

“I apologize, I’m not feeling well. I’m going to retire for the night.” You get up and Vivianne asks “what’s wrong?”

“I think the lack of sleep is catching up to me. I’ll be better by morning.”

When you reach your room, you know that trying to sleep is futile with the way your heart is beating. You pace around the bed as you try to calm down, try to find some peace. But knowing he’s most likely staying in this very wing, in this very hall… After being apart from him for so long- A knock at the door brings you back. You hope it's Vivianne but deep down you know it isn’t. 

He knocks again. You know he’ll knock all night if he has to. 

When you open the door he’s about to knock again, fist raised in a staunch effort. 

“What?” You roll your eyes as you say it, lips immediately falling in a flat line. He has the nerve to smirk before asking “can I come in?”

You step to the side and resist the urge to trip him as he walks. 

Torture, this distance between you is nothing short of it. He has been your most trusted ally, your best friend, on several occasions more than that… But six months and no word. That had never happened before. Not even when he was in Spring. Not even when Amarantha ruled.

“Aren’t you going to explain yourself?” 

“How have you been?” 

Your arms cross over your chest as you widen your eyes at him. “Fine, now explain.” 

He sighs. “It will take a while.” 

“Then give me a summary.” 

He closes the distance between you slightly, so his words come out in almost a whisper. “We are working to overthrow Beron. I’m here securing the allegiance of the bordering courts. In the meeting Kallias agreed to support us and with that Beron is surrounded. We move next week.” 

You must have heard wrong. “What?”

“We are expecting little resistance from Autumn, most likely the few guards that Eris hasn’t been able to sway but they will be easy to defeat. We have the numbers, y/n. We could go home.”

Your hand juts out before you can think about what you’re doing. A clean slap lands across his face. In your ire you can’t feel bad about it. “Are you insane? You know who I receive my orders from. I must report anything I learn and I can promise you that Rhysand won't like that you disappeared to form a coup. Did you even think this through? Or did Eris persuade you?”

His hand is on his cheek as he waits for you to finish. 

“What support do you have from Spring? Huh? Tamlin in his beast form? And Winter? I know that the most they can offer is a few archery squadrons and Summer is too preoccupied with Adriata to even think about sending anything your way. So what exactly is your plan? Secrecy doesn’t seem to be a priority and a lot can happen in a week. It’s just like you to do this too. You’re gone for months and when you return it's for more court bullshit.”

“Are you done?” 

You huff and storm to the other side of the room, where the window overlooks the hills. 

“You know it was only a matter of time, y/n.” He’s standing behind you now, chin almost resting on your shoulder. 

“It’s dangerous Lu… and for what? What will change if Eris is High Lord? Everything else will stay the same.”

His head comes to rest in the crook of your shoulder and his arms begin to snake at your waist. “Things will change, slowly at first but they’ll change.” 

“Why do you want to go back? After everything that happened…” you can’t keep a coherent thought with him touching you like that.

“I’m tired of being an exile. I miss Autumn and its villages. I- they deserve better too.” 

“Why not ask Rhysand for help? Feyre would do anything for you and their numbers are better than all the southern courts combined-”

“This isn’t his battle. We don’t need his help and we certainly don’t need to be indebted to him.” Your hands tangle with his and you squeeze them, relishing the fact that he was here. 

“Come with me. Let's go home, y/n.”

Suddenly you cannot come up with a reason to say no. You miss Autumn too. The crisp air, the cinnamon flavored candies, the cabins that smelled of fire and apples and yams. Nothing felt like home, not really. You knew it had nothing to do with the land itself, but everything to do with the male wrapped around you. 

“I’ll go if you promise to stay by my side. Where you go, I go.” 

He chuckled. “You missed me that much?” 

You scoff. “Yes, you doofus.” 

“Where I go, you go.” He seals the promise with a kiss on your shoulder. 

You begin to melt. “I’m sorry about slapping you.” 

Lucien spins you in his arms so you are facing him. “It 's alright. I deserved it after disappearing on you like that.”

“You did. But I feel a little bad.” So you stand on your tip toes and his cheek, then the corner of his mouth and then his nose. 

He groans, heat biting at his fingertips. “Don’t tease.” 

You chuckle and give in, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that quickly becomes desperate. 

[namazunomegami]

emperor!geto x imperial concubine!reader

a/n: I’ve spent way too much time to research about chinese imperial concubines, playing with Royal Chaos during my highschool years and I had a boring shift at work. This is the result. Probably out of character as hell but hey, I wrote this for my enjoyment.

This is part 1 of a lil historical AU drabble series. I’m already finished with Sukuna, Gojo is in the works, and I got some ideas for Choso and Toji but don't think too much about it, ideas are just ideas.

I was so close to write reader as gender neutral but reader owns a type of traditional chinese headgear used exclusively by noblewomen so... yeah, reader is afab if you squint (very hard).

Likes and reblogs are appreciated, mwah <3

wc: 1011, I initally wanted a few headcannons but I got a full ass drabble

cw: suggestive, false accusations, implied murder, mentions of whipping, choking (not the kinky kind), yandere behavior

credits: renmakia for the gorgeous fanart and my dear @notveryrussian for proofreading and just putting up with my massive jjk brainrot every day, luv ya darling <33

MDNI, if you do, I'm gonna catch you like I'm gonna catch Gege.

He’s a monarch who considers his mind a weapon and information as a whetstone despite being born in relative peace. Spending his leisure time reading Sun Ce, the scripts of Confucian and Taoist scholars, sharing afternoon teas and long walks around the gardens with Buddhist priests and conversing about reaching enlightenment. As if he desperately wanted to understand how the world he was meant to rule works. His mandate of heaven brought prosperity, a flourishing economy, a strong connection between allied realms, a good education system that produced more scholars than in any other time before.

Competing for his attention is not an easy task. You almost gave up, bracing yourself for a long and uneventful life where you can only admire him from afar. You sit in the shade of a willow tree with a board of xiangqi, your playmate having left you not so long ago and you were trying to figure out which tactics and strategies they should’ve used to defeat you. You’re so lost in your thoughts you can’t notice him standing there, in the presence of his guards. You kowtow to him, excusing yourself for daring to bother him, pleading for his patience while you pack your things and leave. He likes that your manners are spot on, and he rewards you with a command to stay, to play with him, since xiangqi is a game between two people. And based on the positions of the pieces on the board you’re an experienced player.

Of course, he defeats you with ease, but he’s grateful you showed him everything you’ve got and didn’t let him win. He tells you that his victory lies in applying the teachings of Sun Ce to his playstyle. Your eyes light up and you beg him to elaborate further, maybe he can help you improve your tactics in the next game. He’s such a well-read man, so hungry for knowledge, so desperate to understand people. You’re sure he wants to figure out your thoughts too, what you think about the world, what values dominate your heart. And the secret to win him over is to shower him with all the details and even politely disagree with some of his beliefs and explain your point of view. That’s what gets him going, knowing your place in the hierarchy but not being afraid to stand your ground. Mindless obedience, at this point, bores him. That’s probably the reason why he slowly starts to favor you, your conversations refresh him, inside and outside of his bedchambers.

You may think that earning your place in his heart is a lengthy and hard process, but when he becomes sure that your infatuation comes from an honest place, he generously rewards your efforts. He showers you with gifts, each more thoughtful than the other. He sends you scripts from his personal library about topics that interest you, fulus he received from his priests to protect you and your chambers, phoenix crowns so elaborately adorned with pearls, sapphires, small dragons, and phoenixes made from solid gold. Gowns embroidered with clouds, cranes dancing around them, gifting you a small piece of the sky itself he descended from. He elevates your rank quickly so you can accompany him during events. Letting the whole court look at you, wrapped in everything he gave you, standing so close you can see him stealing glances at you from under the twelve tasseled crown. He rewards your family with money, grain, rice, political power. If he lifts you up, he does the same with everyone important to you.

But Geto’s court is highly competitive. It’s certainly not easy to be his favorite. You can literally smell the stench of jealousy eminating from the other consorts. Their gaze pierces your skin deeply when the eunuchs drag you around the Palace of Heavenly Grace with a brocade blanket hugging your naked figure. They must endure the sight every other night and they have no idea that the son of heaven is ready to serve you and do as you please behind closed doors and not the other way around, as tradition dictates.

Though he can comfort you, outside of his chambers you fear for your life. You needed a food taster now and never dared to walk the gardens without at least four guards in your proximity. You begin to doubt the trust between you and those you’ve befriended, because they can only blame you for his negligence towards them.

And then, the first accusation about you begins circulating around the palace. Some concubines claimed that you were guilty of witchcraft. So many of them are against you, with so much made-up proof you cannot do more than spend the night crying, believing that at dawn, guards will come for you and throw you into a well. You have no idea where Geto is or how you could beg him for protection.

The next day, strangely, a new set of officials deem you innocent. What boggles you even more is that he comes to your residence instead of having you delivered to him. Even his scent is not like it usually is, there’s something metallic, salty, and musky mixed in with the incense smoke.

That night he cradles you, shushing you, promising to keep you safe at all costs. Keeping it a secret how brutally he disposed of the rumor mongers, how he had some of his officials whipped bloody for not believing your testimony or about the thinly veiled threats that he’ll make anyone’s life a living nightmare if anything happened to you. Your heart skips a beat and simultaneously sinks deep in your chest when those of higher rank than you lower their head, trying their best to not look at you as they pass you by. With dark marks staining the skin below the neckline of their gowns, not even the empress consort being an exception.

It's not easy to be his favorite. It’ll never be easy.

But he’s a god, the son of heaven, and heaven will forgive him and so will you.

[carriesthewind]

Since I have wadded into the discourse, a few clarifications (below the cut b/c I've taken up enough of people's dashes):

I am not on the side of the publishers in this case. They suck too; in general, the IA is a good organization and the big publishers are the bad guys! In fact, the publishers are also (a) bad guy in this case - they are and will ABSOLUTELY try to use this case to increase the limits on libraries and digital lending. They are profit driven monsters who would destroy every library on earth if they could.

That's actually part of why I'm so mad about how this case is being talked about! Because by their own actions, the IA has put this case in a position where the IA literally cannot win unless their "National Emergency Library" (aka just stealing books) is held to be legal. That doesn't mean it's worse case scenario if they lose their appeal - for example, an appeals court could issue a narrow ruling on the facts of the case. It just means there is no good scenario where they outright win. But, if they appeal their very bad case with its very bad facts, that increases the risk of creating precedent that limits libraries and digital lending. If you think it's worth the risk, that's fine - but ignoring the actual risks and likelihood of success isn't "supporting libraries;" it's acting based on ignorance (at best).

Digital publishing and lending, as it currently legally exists, really really sucks. There is a reason why, although many authors and author organizations dislike the IA's "Open Library," other authors like it and have written in support of it!* There is a reason why, although I have linked to author criticism of IA and of its "Controlled Digital Lending" and stated that I think it clearly violates existing copyright law, I have not stated (and will not state) a personal opinion on whether I think CDL (as it exists in the one-to-one, owned to loaned theory, rather than how it was implemented in practice) is less undesirable as a copyright schema than existing digital copyright law. The IA and its supporters are right that current copyright law doesn't allow for the real ownership or preservation of e-books! They are right that publishers greedily limit libraries' and patrons' access to e-books, and they are right about how bad the current system is! (I do not endorse any praise for library e-reader apps and lenders in the notes of my posts. While I enjoy and support using them, from a library perspective, they also suck - specifically, the predatory charges for e-books lending suck libraries dry.) The IA is broadly on the right(er) side of this issue: but they still did a shitty, dumb thing, and they are deliberately misrepresenting the situation in an extremely offensive and potentially harmful way!

I already emphasized this in the original post, but just in case: I do not hate the IA. I do not want them to go away. I very much like a lot of the things they do and want them to keep existing! (Although I would add: if they actually believe their principles they should absolutely have set things up to preserve - at minimum - their archival functions as much as possible if they - as an organization - cease to exist.) But! I would also like, at a minimum, for them to stop deliberately misrepresenting the situation. Their stated mission is "universal access to all knowledge." If they cared about that mission - or if they really see themselves as librarians, and not just a database of products - they should maybe start making sure the public is getting accurate, useful, and meaningful knowledge about this case, instead of propaganda to inflate their own egos.

*Although I would be VERY curious to know what kind of briefing of the actual factual and legal situation some of the authors who signed onto that open letter received. Based on the snippets I read, some were clearly well-informed; many were just talking broadly about how great libraries are; and some indicated a serious factual misunderstanding of how both libraries, the IA, and digital lending in general work.

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 9 (MBJxOC)

A/N: I hate how small the gif is... and this is wayyy later than I expected. Enjoy :)

Raven savored the brief moment of serenity when she woke up, a blessed respite from the knowledge that her world was about to come crashing down. It ended as soon as she remembered she had a shift at the library, meaning she could not burrow into the softness and comfort of her own bed when everything fell apart as she hoped to. But Raven had too much practice putting on a brave face when everything in her would rather break down. 

She could not help but feel thankful when she checked her social media accounts that all was quiet… for now. Aside from a few texts and missed calls from Michael, which were all just his worried musings and checking up on her. The heaviness that settled in her soul since last night lifted at his concern and care, his promises that they would chart a path through this.

But she knew in her heart that the path could not include her. She emotionally prepared herself, as she went through the mundane activities of her morning, that he would break up with her when she went to his house later. There seemed to be no other logical choice or option. How could a man of his stature, at the height of his career, be associated with the likes of her? She was nothing more than a washed up, blacklisted author turned prostitute. 

She even wondered if it would ease the hurt if she beat him to it. Would it break her heart less if she took control of her own life and ended things on his behalf? It would certainly preserve her memories of him. If their brief love story had to end, she would rather it end on a high note like they were last night. That was the last memory she wanted of them, carefree and happy. She needed that memory… she did not see many happy days ahead in her future at the moment. 

Rae: Sorry, fell asleep. I’m ok… forgot I had a shift this afternoon so gonna get ready to head to the library.

Bakari: You sure? Maybe you should call in sick? 

Rae: Too late for that. I’ll be fine. 

Bakari: Allen’ll be there at the end of your shift. 6 right? He’ll bring you to the house. 

Rae: ok. 

Raven’s morning was punctuated by her checking her phone every couple of minutes as if she was waiting for a bomb to go off. And in some ways, she was. She felt utterly useless at work, distracted by her phone and her own all-consuming self pity. She found the usual mask of happiness she used to force herself to wear to be difficult to maintain today. Even when several of her kids came in after school to do their homework, she could not bring herself to interact with them beyond a brief hello. Anything more made her want to break down in tears. She had not even considered that they would read all about her on social media at some point. She would never know most of the world to care what they thought about her but these kids saw her as a role model. It was another blow to her already abysmal confidence and self worth to wonder what they, their parents, and her colleagues would think of her. 

The mere thought caused her eyes to well up with tears.

“Ok Rae… can’t cry at work,” she muttered to herself as she hastily wiped away her tears. “Enough of this.” She grabbed her phone and put it on DND and stuffed it in her purse. Her obsession would not will the article to come out any faster so there was no sense in checking every second.

She forced herself to focus on her work, offering to do every menial but distracting task she could to occupy her brain. And it worked for a few hours… until it didn’t. 

“Hey Raven,” one of her colleagues, Melody, rushed over to her while she returned a cart of books to their respective shelves. 

“Hey, what’s up?” she asked as she stretched to put a book on a higher shelf. 

“Have you seen this??” Melody handed Raven her phone once she turned and directed her full attention to her.

Raven’s hand braced herself on one of the wooden shelves as she read the headline of the article. 

Exclusive: Source reveals Actor Michael B Jordan’s long history with prostitutes including his girlfriend

Raven did not even read the full article, merely skimming the first two paragraphs and one of the several featured pictures of them. As soon as she reached the first mention of herself, a line calling out that she was paid to have sex with Michael by his friends and that their entire relationship was a sham, she shoved it back into Melody’s hands. 

Her breathing felt erratic and short as she angled her face and body away from Melody. She was not sure if she wanted to deny it or just admit that it was true. Now part of her wished she had stayed and talked to Michael last night, just to understand what she should even say. She did not have many friends in her life but Melody was a good work friend she had gained. She was everything Raven had always wished she was: confident, whole, and happy. But she did not know Melody well enough for her to be the person she broke down in front of. 

However, thankfully, in her silence, Melody did not even give her a chance to answer. The woman just waved her head dismissively and stuffed her phone back in the pocket of her dress. 

“You know how these tabloids are. They don’t fact check, don’t confirm shit.” Melody responded with a half smile and a shrug. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Michael’s people will fix it, get them to post a retraction. No one who knows you is ever gonna believe this, Raven.” 

She offered her a supportive rub on the back before leaving Raven alone in the autobiographies section. She was gone for several minutes before Raven even realized she had not said a word in response. All of her limbs felt unresponsive. She did not understand how she had both been preparing for this all day and somehow still felt caught off guard. She supposed there was something to be said about preparing for something in theory and the reality of it. And even with hours to brace for it, the reality still felt like she had been hit by a train. 

She forced herself, with shaky hands, to continue her task. Her shift only had a few hours left and she refused to tuck in her tail and run. She could immediately tell who read the article and who had not just by stares and looks she received. She ignored most of them but the hardest ones were from her kids, who kept looking at her every time she passed before putting their heads back together. She forced herself to hold her head high and pretend as if nothing was wrong, despite how painful that was. She did not want to lie to anyone but she also did not care to admit that every word of the article was true. This was a lose-lose situation and she felt every ounce of it.

She was unsurprised to see missed calls and texts when she finally took her phone off DND. So many, she did not even realize that many people had her number. She did not read all of the texts but she could see that half of them were from Michael and his family checking on her. She did not have the heart to open any of them. 

The Jordans had opened their home and lives to her, treated her like family when no one else in this world had. And this was how she repaid that kindness? By ruining their son’s life and reputation. 

That’s all you know how to do, a voice rang out in her head. Ruin lives. 

The only one she opened was from Allen letting her know he was outside and waiting when she was ready. 

The last hour of her shift dragged by at a painstaking pace. No one else mentioned the article, at least not to her face. But that did not stop her from hearing the whispers or noticing the disgusted glares she received from some of the moms with their children. 

No one who knows me will believe it. Clearly that’s not true. 

She sighed as she packed up her stuff, realizing that the worst part of her day was still to come. She felt as if she was marching to the guillotine, certain death awaited her and there was no stopping it. 

She said a quiet goodnight to Melody before rushing outside. However, as soon as she stepped outside to walk around the building to the parking lot, she was accosted by paparazzi. 

She staggered backwards at the bright flashes in her face, blinding her as she tried to see through the crowd to get away from them. Every one of her senses were overwhelmed by the lights and their yelling at her, assaulting her with too many questions for her to reasonably answer even if she wanted to.

“Is the article true??” 

“How many men had paid for you before Michael?” 

“How much did he pay for you?” 

“Are you still having sex for money?” 

“Is your relationship real?” 

“Is it true you used to be a stripper??” 

“Are you and Michael done?” 

Raven put her tote bag in front of her face to hide it, now stained with tears that she could not hold in. It was as if they had stolen all the air with their presence, Raven could not even get enough breath into her lungs to beg them to let her through. Raven could feel herself being backed up toward the doors of the library again. However, she did not want to open the door and bring more spectators to this embarrassing swarm. She felt completely trapped. 

“Get back! All of you!” An authoritative woman’s voice demanded as she gripped Raven by the arm and forced her backward. Raven immediately recognized the voice as Melody’s and did not resist the tug of her hand as she pulled her back into the library’s entrance and locked the door behind them. 

Melody continued guiding Raven, as if she knew this was the only way to get her legs to move, until they reached the staff lounge in the back of the library. 

“Fucking vultures!” She immediately ranted as she forced Raven to sit down in one of the chairs, Raven’s head immediately fell into her hands as she tried to stave off a looming panic attack. She could feel it around the edges of her brain, slowly consuming all of her rational thoughts and feelings. She tried to take long slow breaths to fill her lungs again, each one as shaky as the last.  “Never seen anything like it. You ok, sis? Can’t believe they’re doing all this over a fake story.” 

“It’s not… it’s not fake. Every word is true,” she whispered. The admission was out of her mouth before Raven even had the conscious thought to stop herself. She lifted her head in shock at herself before looking at Melody whose facial expression had not changed. 

Melody let out a low whistle. “You’ve been holding out on me! You’re more interesting than I thought,” she mused as she handed Raven a bottle of water and sat down across from her. “Drink. It’s always the quiet ones though, I guess.”  

Raven’s hand paused as it brought the bottle to her lips. “That’s it?” 

“Not my place to judge you for doing what you needed to or wanted or whatever. Not to sound like a damn protest poster but sex work is work. I can tell you that whatever your reason, no one deserves all that out there or have their business plastered across the news.” 

Raven let out a soft sob at her words, not realizing just how badly she needed to hear that from someone who was not obligated to say it. She took the Kleenex Melody offered her. 

“Thanks… I needed that.” She let out a watery sigh. “Shit. I dunno what I’m g-gonna do… the things everyone is probably saying about me…” Raven muttered. “A-and when Kristen sees this, fuck… I’m gonna get fired.” 

Melody shook her head. “Hey, Kristen is annoying but she isn’t evil. People get through worse shit than having sex for money unscathed. And who cares what a bunch of incels and pick-mes say? You have your family and friends and your support system and you’ll get through this.” 

Raven let out a quiet, bitter laugh. “Yea… a support system… I just have Michael. No family, few friends. And now I’m probably gonna lose him too.” A fresh wave of tears started to fall before Raven shook her head, realizing that she was bearing her soul to a woman she was only talked to at work. “S-Sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping all this on you. T-thanks for your help out there.” Raven stood and grabbed her purse and started to walk to the door when Melody stopped her. 

“Well you have Michael, a few friends… and you have me. Text, call, whatever, anytime you want to talk, ok? I mean it.” 

Raven raised an eyebrow at her in confusion. “Really? You know you don’t have to be nice to me. I’ll be ok.” 

“I know you’ll be ok. But I like you, Raven. Which means I’m in your corner. Whatever you need, call me.  Stay off social and let this shit pass. Now, call that driver of yours and tell him to meet you around the back so you can go home. I’ll take your shift tomorrow.” 

Raven stared at her for a few moments as if she was just seeing her for the first time. She  pulled out her phone and shot off a quick message to Allen before heading toward the back exit. However, before she left, she turned back to Melody. 

“Thanks. I did… do… need someone in my corner.”

“Now you’ve got one,” she grinned before waving and taking off toward the front entrance to finish closing down the library. 

Raven stared at her for a few moments before heading outside. She braced herself for an onslaught of flashing, her entire body deflating with relief as she only found Allen waiting to take her home. Well to Michael’s, which had started to feel like home to her. But for the first time, it did not feel like she was retreating to her safe space and sanctuary. It felt as if she was speeding toward the end. 

***

Michael could have worn a hole in his carpet with his incessant pacing around his living room as he waited for Raven to arrive. She had been uncommunicative with him since she went home last night and he hated it. Michael understood her need to process on her own but he could not change how out of control that made him feel. He wanted her there with him, not spinning out on her own. 

He did the right thing. Or at least that was what he continued to tell himself to assure him. He tossed and turned all night, reviewing the last month with a fine tooth comb and he had made the right decision. The only decision. The only thing that did not sit right in his review were his lies to Raven to get here. They sat like rocks in the pit of his stomach, heavy and nauseating. He had justified all of them by saying he was protecting Raven’s peace by hiding what happened with Tasha but he did not expect them to haunt him quite like this. He stomped the feeling down. He played the best hand he had with the shitty cards Tasha dealt him. 

He assured himself that it was all worth it when the coverage from reputable publications played out exactly as he and his team intended. Most focused on him, examining how this was yet another example of his terrible playboy image. However, social media and sites like the Shade Room focused their sexist attacks on Raven, which was maddening but not surprising. But Alex assured him, and he agreed, that this was the best they could have hoped for. 

A buzzing from his phone pulled him out of his thoughts. He hoped it was Raven, however, he narrowed his eyes when he realized it was Tasha. He needed to block her number, immediately. He answered, praying this would be the last time he ever had to hear her voice. 

“I’m at your gate. Let me in.” She immediately demanded, Michael could hear the rage vibrating off every syllable. 

“Fuck no. You lost, Tash. It’s over.” 

“Fine. Leave me out here and I’ll call Raven and tell her how you destroyed her life. Let. Me. In.” 

Michael ran his hand over his face, frustration coursing through him. He went to the alarm system on his phone and opened the gate for her, praying he had enough time to get rid of her before Raven arrived. He was playing with fire and he knew it. 

Before he let her in, he made her leave her phone and purse in her car. He refused to get caught on tape and give her more ammunition to use against him.

“How the fuck you know where I live?” 

“You think I fucked you for two years straight and didn’t learn a thing or two about you? Nigga please,” Tasha muttered as she breezed into his foyer. Michael watched as she walked deeper into the house to  his living room, anger wafting off of her being in waves. “What the fuck, Michael??” 

Michael sat down on the arm of one of his chairs and folded his arms with a smirk. “What? Sad to see your million dollar story on TMZ? Seems someone hates me more than you do and beat you to it. Blackmail ain’t shit without leverage. You lost, T. Played a good game though, had me backed into a corner.” 

She scoffed and shook her head. “‘Someone beat me to it??’ You did! You leaked this! And got me fuckin’ fired me because of it. I-I’ll tell Raven.”

“Tell her what? That we met twice in a hotel? Fine. Tell her you were extortin’ me for money? Be my fuckin’ guest. But promise you, she’ll never believe you without proof. Which I know you don’t have cause there is none. And no one in my camp would ever admit to leakin’ a story that could hurt me. And your job… well… can’t start a war and be mad when you get hit. You threatened my girl… all bets are off.” 

“How’d you even convince Helen? I’m the best girl she’s got.” 

“Because unlike you, the only thing Helen cares about is money. So when I threatened to tell every client I ever brought her that her girls were extortionists… well, she saw the business case for lettin’ you go. Good luck findin’ another gig once Helen’s through with you. She’ll make what you tried to do to Raven look like fuckin’ child’s play.” He closed the space between the two of them, standing tall before her. He dropped his voice low, every word laced with authority. “Fuck with me all you want, I’m built for it and I can take it. But don’t fuck with Raven ever again. Now get outta my fuckin’ house and outta my life.”

Tasha scoffed. “You think you’re a big nigga, huh? Congrats. But… pretty sure this ain’t gon’ go the way you think.” 

Michael folded his arms. “How you figure that?” 

“You don’t think the guilt of knowing you leaked this shit isn’t gonna eat you alive? When precious soft Raven is crying in your arms every night because the entire internet is calling her a whore and a slut and trash and every other terrible thing they can think of? When they dox her apartment and she doesn’t feel safe at home? Or her job and get her fired? You think you’ll be able to sit by and watch her lose everything knowing you’re the reason and you did it behind her back?” 

“I did it to protect her.” 

“Maybe… But you also did it to fuck with me. You burned me, true. But you also burned her and when she finds out, I don’t think she’ll be quick to forgive you. But hey, you know her better than I do. What do you think?” Her hand ran up his chest as she spoke, a smirk on her face. 

Michael felt his hand clench in a fist as her words struck a chord so deep in him that he wanted to scream. He gently removed her hand from his body. 

“I did what I had to to get you outta my life and protect Rae as best I could. Try to twist that all you want but I did what had to be done. But the reasons don’t matter. She’ll never find out.” 

Tasha took a step back, a smirk on her face as she leaned her head toward the door. “You sure about that?” 

Michael whipped around to find Raven frozen in the entryway between his kitchen and living room. 

“Well… I believe my work here is done. I’ll leave you two to it. Don’t worry, I know the way out.” 

Tasha offered them both a smug look of victory before she sauntered out the door. However, Raven did not even spare her a glance, she only had eyes for Michael. Before she knew it, she found herself standing in front of him. 

“Y-You leaked this?” Raven whispered, the shock and hurt spreading through her stripped her voice of anger or menace. Even if she had not overheard the end of their conversation, the look of guilt on his face gave her every answer she needed. 

“Raven…” 

She raised her hand to stop him. She did not want to hear anything other than the answer to her question.  “Did. You. Leak. This?” 

She took his perpetual silence for what it was: an admission of guilt. Raven felt everything inside her start to crumble. All she felt was anger, betrayal and a pain so severe she thought it could end her. And all of it was so overwhelming, she did not know if there was room in her body to feel anything else. 

“Baby! Baby, baby, baby… calm down and listen to me, please,” Michael stressed, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his chest as she tried to walk away. “I promise you, this ain’t what you think.” 

Raven wildly pushed against his hard chest, wrestling her way out of his embrace. His embrace which once felt like home and safety and care now felt tainted, painful and prickly as if his arms were covered by a million sharp needles. 

“I think my entire life is falling apart, literally. And my boyfriend, who claimed to love me, is here with another woman he used to sleep with. H-How could you?? Y-You knew I-I was coming over! D-did you want me to walk in and find you two?? Did you…” her eyes grew wide as the realization hit her and stole the very breath from her lungs. She took a tentative step back from him, which he tried to follow, but she raised her hand to stop him. “Did you… l-leak this so you could be with her?” 

Michael wished the accusation had been so absurd but he could 100% see how this situation looked and the picture was beyond ugly… it was heinous. However, the last part was so outlandish that he could not ignore it. “I didn’t do it to be with her! I did it so she couldn’t and to protect you.” 

“Protect me??”  She let out a soft gasp. “You told the entire fucking world I was a prostitute to PROTECT ME??” 

“Raven, let’s just go up to my room and talk and I can explain it.” 

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

She started to race back toward the front door, desperate to put as much space between her and Michael as possible, her mind reeling with how he betrayed her, how he destroyed her. She could not trust or believe a word he said because from her vantage point, everything he said since the night they met was a complete and utter lie. 

“Raven, I swear to you,” he called as he raced after her, ignoring the questioning looks of his parents as they emerged from upstairs to the spectacle in the foyer. “I swear on my life, I did this to protect you! Tasha was gonna leak it anyway so I beat her to it to get ahead of it. I swear!” 

“Protect me?? This is protection?? Fucking obliterating my name and life is protection?? And why should I even believe a single word that comes out of your fucking mouth?? You said you weren’t talking to Tasha anymore. You said no other woman had ever been to this house yet she seemed pretty fucking cozy! You said you didn’t care about my past and that you wanted me but that clearly isn’t true! W-what happened?” she demanded, cutting off his increasingly desperate attempts to get her to calm down enough to listen to him. “Someone on the team reminded you that a man like you can’t be associated with trash?” She asked bitterly. “That you’re too good and perfect to be sullied by someone like me? Can’t turn a whore into a housewife, right? So what? It was easier to destroy me than just break up with me? I didn’t believe I d-deserved you anyway. But you convinced me! You convinced me I was worthy of you, deserving of you. That you wanted more, that you loved me. W-was it all just a game?? Am I just a game to you? Another conquest to add to your list??” 

Michael rushed forward and grabbed her arms to pull her into his chest. She fought against his grasp but he was too strong for her. She refused to look at him, if she did, the tears she was holding back would rush forward. She would have to acknowledge the depths of the hurt she felt and right now, the only safe thing she could feel was anger. 

“You have to believe me, Rae. Baby girl. I love you. I’m in love with you. You have to know that, you have to believe that!” 

“I believed you when you said I was enough, I believed you when you said you loved me. T-those were clearly lies. B-Because this,” she shook her head as her voice broke slightly. “T-this isn’t love. Cheating on me… lying to me. Going behind my back, making decisions that affect my life without t-telling me… M-Maybe too many books have rotted my brain and I n-never knew what love o-or protection a-and care were. Because if this is it? Then I don’t want it. From you or anyone else ever again.” 

His grip slacked as her words felt like a sucker punch to his entire being, allowing her to break.

“Wanted me out of your life? Then congrats.” Her march toward his front door was far more measured than she felt. Inside, she was melting down but she refused to break the little composure she had. She paused for a moment as she opened his door, her weight bearing down on the heavy brass handle. “You know… I was coming over here to offer to end things. T-to walk away if that was what you needed, if that would h-help m-make this easier for you. I-If you had just told me…” She hated how her voice broke and a few tears escaped their barricades. She was broken but she refused to let him or any of them see her shatter. “I-It would’ve killed me but I would’ve done it. Because that’s how much I loved you. But you… you don’t love me. You’re like everyone else in my life, lying and using me to get what you want and then t-throwing me aside like garbage w-when you’re done. A-and maybe y’all are right? M-Maybe that’s all I d-deserve.” She sniffled a bit before wiping her cheeks. “Y-You convinced me to jump with you. A-and I did because I thought… I thought you were d-different. But I should’ve known. I’ll never make that mistake again. Bye Michael.” 

Raven slammed the door behind her, her body pausing to lean against the railing that framed his front steps. Her physical body felt on the verge of collapse. Is this what heartbreak felt like? Because she felt as if she could physically die from this hurt, this ache that was so deep it felt like it was siphoning away the strength of her very bones. So much pain that she just wanted to collapse to the ground and never get up again.

“Ms. Turner?” 

She glanced up through her blurry eyes to find Allen standing in front of her, the older man’s face painted in concern. 

“Let’s get you home.” He gestured toward the car that drove her there. 

“I j-just broke up with your boss. Don’t think he.. he’ll want you to drive me.” 

“I know Mr. Jordan, he will want to make sure you get home safely. And if he gets upset then he isn’t the type of man I’d want to work for. Come on, you shouldn’t Uber or wander around in this state.” 

She allowed the older man to lead her to the car. She refused to look back at Michael’s house or mourn anything she left behind there. None of it had been real anyway. He could keep all of it along with the pieces of her heart he took. She did not want that anymore either. 

Raven ignored the incessant buzzing of her phone the entire ride, she did not look at her texts or missed calls. She knew who all of them were from. She had the right mind to delete and block his number but she was not strong enough for that, not yet anyway. 

She spent the entire ride reviewing their relationship, the last few months on replay over and over again. How could she have let herself fall into this trap? Tasha had warned her… there was no warmth or kindness to be found with him. But she let him play her like a fucking fiddle, spinning some tale of a misunderstood, heartbroken good guy. And she had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. She was too gullible, too trusting, too willing to give people opportunities even when they had done nothing to deserve them. She had thought Michael was different, that he would be on her short list of people that showed up and cared for her. 

But no, instead he was like most of the people she had come across in her life. Only somehow it was worse because he had lulled her into a false sense of security before unveiling the worst he had to offer. Even to the bitter end, he claimed to love her and that he wanted to protect her. From her vantage point, the only thing she needed protection from was him and her own foolish, idiotic heart. 

By the time Allen reached her block, her body was vibrating as she tried her best to hold in her sobs. It did not help that a horde of paparazzi were camped outside her building, circling like vultures to inspect the wreckage that was her life since he turned her into a joke and spectacle. She did not even understand how they discovered where she lived. 

He probably told them, a voice in her head supplied. 

“Is there a back entrance or side entrance?” Allen glanced back at her, pulling off to the side before driving to her front door. 

“U-Um yea, t-there’s a back entrance….” 

“Ok, I’m gonna pull around there so you can avoid all this.” 

“T-Thank you.” Her voice shook as she tried to control her breathing. It would just be a few more minutes and then she could fall apart. 

She had not even realized the car stopped until Allen walked around and opened her car door for her. He helped her out, her entire body shaking so much her legs could barely hold up her weight. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be ok? I can walk you up?” 

She immediately shook her head. “N-No. Y-You’ve done enough. T-thank…” her voice died off in a whisper as a sob broke through. She turned her head away from him and wiped her tears, stuffing the emotions back down. “T-thank you,” she repeated in a stronger voice with a smile she and the driver knew was utterly fake. 

“Take care of yourself, Ms. Turner,” he offered solemnly. 

The avalanche was hurdling so fast toward her, she could not even open her mouth to speak. She merely turned and raced into her building, her eyes trained on the floor as she went up the elevator and to her front door. She knew her roommate was at work, thankfully, so she slipped inside and immediately went to her bedroom. 

She shed her clothes and slid on a baggy t-shirt, not even realizing that it was one of Michael’s she had stolen. She did not realize until she realized it smelled just like him as if he had just sprayed his cologne on it. Everything in her wanted to bury her face in it and be comforted by him, have him ease her soul like he always did. But then her brain reminded her that he was the cause of this agony, not the cure. 

She ripped the shirt off of her body and threw it angrily in the corner before forcing a random sweatshirt onto her nude body. She curled into bed and let out a shaky breath as her body realized she was finally alone. And then she felt the entire dam burst and every emotion came rushing out of her in sobs that were painful to feel. But she could not stop them, could not slow them down, and could not see a way out of the black hole of despair they pulled her into. 

Michael had broken her. No, he destroyed her. And there was no hope of putting her back together again. 

***

“So ‘I told you so’ would be totally outta line here, huh?” Alex asked as she laid back on the couch in Michael’s office, her heels thrown lazily on the floor.. 

“Fuck yea, Alex,” he growled, his anger getting the better of him. 

She raised her hands in surrender. “Understood. Will keep that to myself then. Listen, I know women… give her some time. She’ll come around.” 

Michael eyed her, part of him wanting desperately to believe her but he could hear the uncertainty in her voice. She was trying to placate and assure him but it would not work. Of all the fuck ups that marred his relationships and adult life, this was hands down the worst one. 

He did not need or want a lecture from Alex when he had just sat through a two-hour scolding from his entire family. His mother and sister ripped him a new one when he finally admitted to them the truth about he and Raven and what he had done. They all but told him that he would be lucky if Raven ever spoke to him again, let alone tried to forgive him after lying to her for over a month. 

He tried to explain his reasoning but they made it clear that the reasoning did not matter one bit. All Raven knew was that he lied and he broke her trust. His intentions were pointless when the impact was so severe. 

He tried calling Raven again. He was thankful Allen, at least, assured him she made it into her building safelt. But Allen did not have any other insights to offer him and Michael wondered if the older man would even share them if he had. Michael could hear the disappointment in every word as they spoke on the phone. 

It was almost midnight and he had to hear her voice. Her voicemail message was the best he could get but he would keep calling until she answered him.

“Ok well stop callin’ her like that. It’s giving stalker. No girl wants that.” 

“She left her thinkin’ I did all this to be with Tasha. I can’t let her believe that. I need her to talk to me.” 

Alex grabbed his phone and ripped it out of his hand as he went to call her again. “I can assure you… this ain’t the way. You aren’t gonna harass her enough into talking to you. She doesn’t… ok,” she sighed. “I know you aren’t gonna want to hear this but it’s time for some tough love. You fucked up, Michael. I tried to warn you and you didn’t listen because you’re an Alpha male who thinks he knows best when you really don’t. Being in one semi-successful relationship for a few months didn’t make you an expert. You fucked up and you hurt her. And now, for once, you have to wait for her. Maybe she’ll call you and want to talk tomorrow. Maybe in a month. Maybe… honestly, never. And that would be her right. You kept secrets, you lied, and you went behind her back and threw a grenade that blew up her life.” 

“But Tasha -” he started to defend himself when Alex cut him off. 

“What we did was the smart move, the only move. But you should have told her. Defend yourself all you want, blame Tasha all you want but I fuckin’ know you, Mike. This isn’t all on you but it isn’t all on Tasha either.You didn’t tell her to protect her but you also did it to protect how she sees you. ” 

Michael bowed his head and shame, hating how Alex always saw straight through him. 

“Exactly. That was selfish and your mom is right, you need to own your shit.” 

“How can I own my shit when she won’t speak to me??” Michael groaned. 

Alex picked up her glass of scotch and shrugged. “Well I don’t know. Honestly. If I did, I’d tell you. But calling her over and over again until she picks up won’t help. It’ll just get you blocked.” Alex downed her glass and grabbed her purse. “Send her one last text and get some sleep, Michael. You look like shit. Take some time, stay outta the public eye for a few days and reflect. Call me in a couple days and we’ll talk. But you’re useless to me, Raven, and yourself like this.” 

“I hear you.” 

“Put the phone down. I’m serious, Mike.” 

He nodded. Alex walked over to him and pulled him into a tight hug. It took a moment for Michael to reciprocate as the gesture was so far out of the norm of everything he knew from his manager. 

“Don’t get used to it, seemed like you just needed it.” 

Michael nodded before he took a step back. “Yea I did…” 

Alex started to walk toward the door of his office when she paused and turned back to him. “You’re a good guy, Michael. And I’m not just saying that. You’re a good person. You just made a bad decision. And usually, I can come behind you and we can fix them with an interview and that movie star smile. But… Raven… this one may not be fixable. And in addition to owning your shit, you need to find a way to accept that possibility too.”  

“I don’t know if I can ever be ok with that, Alex. I love her. I can’t live without h-her.” His voice broke slightly as he glanced down at his hands. 

Alex offered him a sad smile. “I know you do… and sometimes that isn’t gonna be enough. Night.”

***

When Raven woke up again, after crying herself to sleep, it was 3 am. She had cried and subsequently slept straight through the evening, had not eaten or drank anything. And it only took being awake for five minutes for everything to come rushing back. The ache in her chest had not lessened in that time, if anything it had just become more painful as her brain obsessed over every detail. 

She groped in the darkness for her cell phone, which she had put back on DND. Her notifications were in shambles but once again, she realized 90% of them were from the same man. She never thought there would be a day when she was angry to see his name on her phone. But it seemed he called or texted her every five minutes or so since she left his house.

A small voice in her head contemplated hearing him out. After all, if he truly wanted to be with Tasha, why was he blowing up her phone like a stalker to get her to speak with him. That had to mean something, right? 

Her thumb hovered over her message app, trying to decide if she wanted to open them and read them. However, as she opened the app, she got distracted by a notification from Instagram.

She had forced herself to stay off social media but she could not stop herself from clicking it. And she immediately wished she had not. Her DMs were certainly a complete deviation from when she and Michael first started dating. She only opened the first handful of messages from strangers before she put her account on private and turned off her comments. That was something she should have done yesterday, she realized, but she was not used to being the source of such public vitriol. 

The things people said to her caused a fresh wave of tears to flow. Women in her comments and DMs called her everything under the sun aside from a child of God and the men… well, their comments were disgusting enough to cause nausea to churn in her belly. Did they not realize they were saying all of this to a real person? Instead, they spoke of her as if she was nothing.. 

But what did she expect from perfect strangers when her own boyfriend treated her like that?  She started to delete every DM until she got to a set from last night that were from handles she knew. Her sister’s friends. 

She had not even thought to check to see if her sister or father reached out. She knew if they did, it certainly would not be to check on her and the comments of her sister’s cohort of idiotic friends made that clear. She did not quite understand why women deep in their 30s were spending their days harassing another woman but Kiara ran her friends like a master puppeteer. . 

She did not bother opening those either, she simply sent them straight to the trash. She tossed her phone to the side before pulling her knees into her chest to cry again. However, before she could spiral back into that sea of despair, she picked up her phone and opened Michael’s texts. She forced herself to not scroll up, though she did read the last couple. 

Bakari: Please talk to me. 

Rae. At least let me know you’re ok. 

Let me explain what happened.

Raven rolled her eyes. Every disgusting thing she just read was his fault. Hell would freeze over before she listened to a word had to say. . 

Rae; Stop texting and calling me and delete my number. I never want to hear from you again. 

Three typing bubbles immediately popped up before she could close the app and be done with him forever. 

Bakari: I know I hurt you and I shouldn’t have lied but let me explain, Rae. Please. 

Rae: I’m not interested in anything you have to say. I’m done. We’re done. 

She quickly went into her contacts and blocked his number before tossing her phone back down on her bed. She thought doing so would ease some of the hurt she felt, after all he was the source of it. But it didn’t. In fact, it just made her heart feel more hollow. He was truly gone and she was completely and utterly alone. She had spent most of her life alone, she was used to it. She did not know why it hurt so much this time around.

The only thing she knew for certain as she curled back into her bed was that she wished she had never met Michael B Jordan. The man who she believed was the personification of her wildest fantasies turned out to be the cause of her worst nightmare.

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A/N: *runs away* *whispers* Let me know what you thought & thanks for reading. Happy Valentine's Day!