#i have met so many of them and they make me incredibly sad
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jotun-appologist · 10 months ago
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While I agree that this is very much true, as a Californian I have also seen how much of (at least here) the unhooked do not want to get better, and do not want to stop taking hard drugs. We have a bad problem with tweakers and fentanyl abusers in the homeless population in my hometown, and the unhoused here have formed their own gangs to beat each other up and steal tents from other unhoused communities. While I 100% agree that better rehab and cheaper housing will benefit society by and large, there are some people who are just absolute trash, and you will unfortunately find them in even the worst off among us.
Some of these folks have even come in to the stores around where I work, gotten violent with strangers, and/or even just trashed the storefronts for 0 reason, because they were tweaked the fuck out. I swapped majors away from psychology because of the stress related to knowing that some people are beyond help, not because they can't be helped, but because they simply do not want to be helped. And its so hard, because these folks in particular make it hard for others around them.
Those unhoused because of disability, or lack of room in abuse shelters. Veterans, people with no family left alive, with PTSD or fear of walls collapsing on them. We have a lady that's wheelchair bound, has her own little business she's trying to start, and all her money goes to basic necessities and feeding the local stray cats. The druggies who also stay in the same parking lot try to pick on her and steal from her cart regularly. Its so frustrating because they do not care about the other unhoused folk around them, and they make a bad rep for everyone and it just....
Its very very frustrating.
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singmyaubade · 2 years ago
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No Longer Yours
James Potter x Female!Reader
IB: In The Cold November Rain by @sweetsweetjellybean (Make sure to check it out, it’s incredible and one of the best I’ve ever read !)
A/N: First, I wanna say thank you to @sweetsweetjellybean for letting me be inspired by her story even though I am stupid, lol, but seriously (not kissing ass), check her series out; it is fantastic. Thank you to everyone for the kind comments, reblogs, and likes. I'm overwhelmed with love, and I'm so thankful that people actually want to read more of what I write but anyways, enjoy!
Summary: James had disregarded you for multiple years, but when you have an epiphany in your final year, how does it feel to taste his own medicine?
Warning: It may contain swearing and soon-to-be smut.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
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"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you all the way?" Your mother asked, squeezing your hand.
"I'll be fine," You caressed her hand, "I'm still your baby, though."
She laughed lightly, "Make sure to write always," She held your face with her hands, "Have fun; it's your last year."
You touched her hand on your cheek, "I will."
You hugged her one last time, taking in her scent. Every time you said bye to her, it was as sad as the first, without you crying and begging to stay.
"Okay," She smiled, taking her hands off your face, "Are you still sure you don't wanna wait for James here? I mean, you've done it all these years."
Little did she know, you had been ignoring James's letters, all 128 of them. He had been persistent, asking you what was wrong and begging for a reply to know you were safe.
You even received a letter from his mother, Euphemia Potter, asking how you were and everything was in Paris. You would never have it in your heart to ignore Ms. Potter, so you replied dutifully and happily.
And then you got a letter from him saying,
Dear Y/n,
Are you really going to reply to my mother and not me?
Sincerely,
Your BEST FRIEND, James Potter.
You didn't reply, scoffing at the bolded best friend. The last letter you received was last week, him telling you he couldn't wait to see you and wanted to talk as soon as he got to you.
Bullshit.
"Yeah," You gulped, "I'm just gonna meet him inside."
"Well, I'm sure he misses you," She started fixing your coat, "I mean, you have been in Paris all of this time, and I just think it would be good for you to-"
You cut her off, pecking her cheek, "Love you!" You yelled, going towards the train.
She shook her head, "Be safe!"
You smiled at her, going through the wall to the train. The feeling still felt the same, nostalgic. This was the last time boarding the train, and it felt sad.
You remembered the first time you ever boarded it. James was practically high on excitement on his first day at Hogwarts. You were scared out of your bloody mind, not wanting to leave your mum and dad.
When you had finally stopped crying and holding onto your mother's leg, James was the one to hold your hand and tell you that he would take care of you.
Maybe that was the first time you had realized James was more than a friend to you, or perhaps you were a naive child.
But either way, he was the one that you needed protecting from. You realized he hadn't been your friend since the fourth year.
But this year wasn't about James; it was about you having the best last year of Hogwarts that you could have ever had.
You boarded the train, moving through the compartments to where Marlene, Mary, Dorcas, and Lily usually were.
Compartment 222.
It was pretty lucky; it is where you guys first met.
You opened the compartment, "Did you guys miss me?"
They excitedly cheered, "Now tell me, Y/n, how many French boys did you end up shagging in France?" Marlene asked.
"I would say about thirty, oui oui." You joked in a French accent as they all started laughing.
You sat down next to Dorcas, giving her a side hug. You saw Lily and Mary whisper something to each other, to which Mary said, "Just say it!"
You could see Dorcas in the corner of your eye, shaking her head no aggressively. Apparently, Marlene was the only one not in the plan, continuing to look at her newsletter.
Your eyebrow raised, "Am I missing something?"
"It's really nothing," Lily nervously said.
"Okay, so what is it?" You laughed.
"Well," Lily fiddled with her fingers, "You know how you specifically requested that none of us tell James that you were replying to our letters and not purposely ignoring him."
You said, "Uhuh." Already knowing where this going.
"Well, I accidentally let it slip out over the letter you had spoken to Marlene and me." She admitted.
Your mouth agape, "Lily."
"I know, I know," She groaned, "It was a total accident."
"How do you accidentally slip something out over letter?" Marlene snorted, earning a glare from Lily, but she still looked at her newsletter.
"What did he say after?" You asked, kneading your forehead.
"Why is she ignoring me?" Lily answered, "I just said it was none of my business, nor was I involved."
The group stayed in silence, waiting for you to reply.
You sighed, thinking about how much James would bother you more now that he knew you ignored him.
"Are you mad at me?" Lily asked quietly.
"No, of course not," You smiled, looking at her, "I just don't want to talk to him and explain everything,"
"Who says you have to?" Mary asked.
You looked at her confused, "I just can't ignore him." You said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"And why not?" Marlene asked, now looking at you.
You opened your mouth to reply, but nothing came out. You thought about it harder, and why wouldn't you be able to ignore James? Maybe it was hard because you have never done it before.
"So I just don't reply when he tries to talk to me?" You asked.
"Well, I don't support this, but," Lily started, "You could always just walk away when he says something to you."
"Wouldn't that be mean?" You asked.
"What did I tell you in person and in the letter?" Dorcas asked as you looked at her.
"Give him hell."
"So do it." She said.
They were right; you couldn't keep explaining to James what he did wrong; you just had to be done with him. You missed your friendship, but it took a turn years ago; you never said anything.
And you had to start not caring about him.
"So, how was your guy's summer?" You changed the subject, grinning as Marlene went on about how she perfected her Quidditch skills and would finally be the best chaser at Hogwarts.
Then Lily talked about her poetry that she started over the summer and how her sister had ripped a few of them, but she fixed them with a single swish of her wand and appreciated magic more.
Mary talked about how many soap operas she had seen and how she might even go into it after she graduates from Hogwarts.
Lastly, Dorcas talked about how this year was her year to be a seeker and how she got a whole book collection from her sister in New Zealand.
You began talking about how you tasted so many new foods and learned a bit of French, showing off your knowledge of the profound language.
You were interrupted by someone opening the compartment doors, "Hello," Remus greeted as you stood up to hug him immediately.
He caught you as you almost made him fall over by the movement, "Remmy, how much I have missed you," You said, kissing him on the cheek.
"And Y/n, how was France?" He asked, smiling.
"Quite a bore; every man was all over me; I was getting exhausted," You exhaled, sitting back in your seat.
"Well, if you ever want to get with a real man, I'm here, Y/n," Sirius said, nudging next to you as you looked disgusted.
"Did you have to bring him?" Dorcas asked Remus, rolling her eyes.
"He insisted," Remus shrugged.
"There needs to be some form of restraining order against him by all of us," Mary sighed.
"I thought his STDs were enough of a restraining order for us to keep away from him," Marlene teased.
Sirius interrupted before another insult could be made, "Ladies, this Sirius Black hate train is honestly starting to hurt," He pretended to be hurt.
"Aww, poor baby," You said in a baby voice, pinching his cheek as he swooshed your hand away.
"Now, Y/n, why are you ignoring poor Prongs?" Sirius asked as you wanted to throw him out of the train through the window.
"I thought he told you to dance around the question," Remus snorted.
Sirius disregarded, "What did my poor, stupid boy do this time?"
"I'm afraid it's none of your business, Black." You simply said.
"It is my business when my friend is sulking and bringing down my mood," He explained, "So why are you upset with him?" He asked.
Marlene abruptly laughed, "I'm sorry, but he really thought you would be the one Y/n would say something to,"
Sirius fake-laughed, "Oh McKinnon, I'll be laughing like that when you fall off of your arse on the field,"
Marlene mocked his facial expression as he did the same thing to her.
"May I please just arrive in peace without one word of James Potter? I'm begging." You reasoned.
"Well, at least I can tell him I tried and that Moony was no help." He glared at Remus.
"I told you I wasn't going to talk to her for him; it was all up to you," Remus said as Sirius went outside, and Remus waved everyone goodbye before closing the doors.
You could already tell it was going to be a long year.
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After finally sorting the first year, everyone was allowed to dine. One thing you always missed about Hogwarts was the fantastic food; it was always incredible.
You were sitting in between Remus and Dorcas when Remus abruptly got up.
"Where are you going?" You asked, mid-laugh from a joke Marlene had made about Dumbledore and McGonagall in their secret chamber.
"Don't kill me," Remus stated before leaving. You looked confused, and James took the spot in front of you. You rolled your eyes, turning back to your meal.
"Please talk to me, Y/n," James pleaded.
You continued to stay silent, not even giving him a look as you looked at Marlene. She shook her head, and you continued to eat.
"I just wanna know what I did," James begged.
When you still didn't respond, he grabbed ahold of your wrist in an attempt for you to look at him.
"Don't fucking touch me." You spat before getting up and leaving the dining hall, telling your friends you were just gonna meet them in the dorm.
You tried rushing to the common room, but James was behind you.
"Y/n!" He yelled, speed-walking after you.
You continued to ignore him, going to the common room until you were stuck with the singing lady at the door who would not give it a rest.
"You have to talk to me," James demanded while the lady continued to screech.
"I don't have to do a thing you say," You scoffed, "In fact, I would prefer if you screwed off and stopped talking to me."
You went to one of the corridors, trying to escape him, but he followed you.
"Can't you just explain to me what I could've done for you to treat me like this?" He said roughly.
You turned to him, "There is not a single, simple explanation of what you could've done; there is a book of things," You snapped, "And treat you like this? Ever since I fucking stepped foot into your life, you have continued to treat me like shit." You stepped closer, "I stuck with you despite Lily, despite what other people said, and despite what you have shown me."
He continued to stay silent, "And now that I finally stick up for myself, I've done you horribly? Bullshit." You spat, "You have continued to show me exactly why I will never ever love you again, and yeah, for a matter of fact, I did love you, but you don't deserve me and never will."
Your words shocked him, not being able to mutter a word.
"Now you have nothing to say?" You manically laughed, "The smooth-talking and fantastic golden boy that shocked the century has nothing to say? What a pathetic-"
He kissed you suddenly precipitously, his tongue entering your mouth, entangling with yours.
For a second, you were drunk on his mouth, engaging with his kiss with as much passion as he gave you. His hand pulls on your hair lightly, making you moan.
His lips went from your mouth to your neck, sucking hard, red marks into your skin, knowing it would bruise.
Then you remembered everything. You remembered James's bitter words, his voice mocking you, and the boys laughing in the locker room.
You pushed his hard chest off you, breathing hard from the whole interaction. He looked at you, breathing as hard as you; realizing what he had done, he tried to touch your hand, but you pushed him again.
Tears brimmed in your eyes, "You're such an asshole," You cried, going to the Gryffindor common room.
You rushed up the stairs, immediately going into your bed. You couldn't believe what had just happened.
A part of you wanted to be grateful, grateful that you pushed him off, and realized that he only wanted to be with you when he felt convenient.
Another part of you wanted to continue kissing him, laughing with him, hugging him. You knew it wouldn't be easy, but you had never figured it would be painful.
What if you had loved James for so long that you didn't know anything but to love him?
It was stupid and pathetic.
You were tired of being stupid and pathetic, you just wanted to move on from James Potter and get away from him, and if that wasn't possible, you had to make him regret being friends with you in the first place.
So you did.
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You got up fresh and early in the morning when all of your roommates were sleeping, taking a shower immediately.
You looked in the mirror, your mascara smudged and dark red and purple hickies wearing your skin. You placed a shit-load of powder and concealer to cover up the parts you could.
You tried several spells to cover it up as best as possible, changing into your uniform.
You slipped into the most showing tights you could and wore your skirt from the fifth year that you so obviously outgrew, showing almost your ass cheeks.
You would be thankful not to get a write-up from McGonagall.
You unbuttoned two buttons off the top of your shirt, showing a tiny bit of your bra. It wasn't the most rebellious or seductive, but it could work.
The first challenge of that day was Potions; all of your friends were there, including all of the Marauders. But, thanks to Merlin was also Jacob Carrow's class, the Slytherin Captain that James hated with a burning passion.
They both could not be in the same room without spitting a hateful insult at the other. James once had a dream that you and Jacob had gone out, and he refused to talk to you for an entire day until you convinced him you would never do that.
You never considered yourself a liar.
The only problem was that Jacob was a dickhead, but so was James. You were surprised they didn't get along, maybe in another life.
You went inside Potions with your friend group, and you spotted Jacob Carrow in the back with an empty seat next to him as you told your friends you were gonna sit in the back.
You were thankful none of his friends were around him; it would be ten times more unbearable.
You sat next to him with a wide grin painted on your face, trying not to show your pain.
"Sitting next to me, Y/n?" He smirked, "I thought you were Potter's little puppy."
You tried to ignore your annoyance, "Pets tend to lean away from their owner at points; I guess that's my case." You shrugged.
"I am no Potter; I don't like having little girls follow me and do my shit for me." You could tell he was insulting you, but you stood tall.
"Good thing girls don't like to be in your presence." You snickered.
He smiled, "Love a kitty with claws," He leaned into his chair, "What do you want?"
"Do I have to want something?" You asked, popping your chest out to show your tits as he looked down at your face.
"You finally trying to make your boy toy jealous?" He asked.
You dropped the facade, "Are you gonna help me or not?"
"Control the temper, baby; I just wanna know what's in it for me." His body faced you.
"Isn't James being angry enough?" You asked.
"Nah, I can piss off Potter by just existing." He replied.
"What do you want?" You asked, half-annoyed.
"Meadows on a date with me."
You laughed, "Dorcas would never go on a date with you."
"Then no deal." He said with a fake smile.
"Ugh, fine, I'll talk to her if you just make James's life hell for a few minutes." You said.
"Okay, deal." He smiled, "Do you want me to touch you or,"
"Sure, but don't overdo it." You warned.
"I love when you flatter yourself." He said as James walked in, laughing with the Marauders.
Jacob immediately placed a hand on your thigh, slightly higher than preferred, but you continued smiling.
You started fake-laughing at Jacob's joke, which immediately caught James's attention. You looked behind you, and James's head looked like it would explode.
You looked back at Carrow, touching his shoulder and admiring how much muscle he had.
"What else do you want me to do?" He said through his teeth.
"I'll scoot closer to you, and you can put your hand on my waist." You suggested as he nodded.
You faced the front as Jacob touched your waist, tickling you with his fingers as you laughed.
"Mind keeping it down?" James scowled, "Not everyone wants to fucking hear that shit."
"How about you piss off, Potter?" Jacob mocked as he gripped your waist tighter, which pissed off James even more.
Before James could say another word, Slughorn started the class.
Throughout the class, Jacob would squeeze your thigh or tickle you, almost rising to touch your tits. Whenever he did those actions, you would giggle, earning daggers from James.
Once Slughorn instructed everyone to look inside their microscopes at the different ingredients used in Veritaserum, you took the opportunity to sit on Jacob's lap, looking in the microscope as he bounced you with his knee, causing you to laugh.
This really pissed James off, him storming up to you both. He grabbed your arm, practically flying you off of Jacob.
"Mr. Potter!" Slughorn yelled as the class watched the entire thing.
"Don't you dare fucking touch her," James said brusquely.
Jacob scoffed, "What will you do about it, Potter?" He stood, going closer to James.
You rolled your eyes due to the amount of testosterone in this conversation.
James got closer as you grabbed his hand, pushing him back, "Stop it." You said to him as he looked at you.
He grabbed your wrist, dragging you out of the classroom to an abandoned bathroom.
"James, let go of me!" You yelled as he pushed you inside the bathroom.
He was fuming, and you could tell which scared you. You hadn't seen him this angry since he lost a Quidditch match against the very man's lap you were on.
"You dragged me in here, so is there something you have to say?" You looked at him angrily, hands on your hips.
"Us not being friends anymore doesn't allow you to be a slut," He ridiculed.
You slapped him, "Don't you fucking dare call me a slut; I can do whatever the fuck I want,"
He wiped his mouth with a smile, "You think he gives a shit about you? He would fuck you and then dump you." He said as he moved closer, and you backed up.
"You don't know a thing," You replied nervously.
"He wouldn't even clean you up after," He continued, "He would let you rot there like a slut," Another step closer, which you took backward. You didn't understand if he purposely tried to intimidate or lecture you.
He didn't stop.
"He would tell all of his friends after," Another step, "He wouldn't dare spare you a minute after," Another step, "You would mean nothing," You were backed into the wall now, "But it's okay because you can do whatever the fuck you want."
"James." You kept eye contact with him, his eyes beaming into yours.
His mouth lowered to your ear, "But I think you want me to give a shit; you wanna see me mad." His hand snaked to your waist, "I guess you win." His body left yours, storming out of the bathroom.
Did you really win?
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A/N: Y/n: 2, James 0??? There is also an alternate chapter to this because I couldn't stop writing two plots LOL.
taglist: @feast0nmeee @queerqueenlynn @diasnohibng @somebodys-enola @kiwichixta @queerpanickingrn @strnqer @virgogaia @ddddawson @lxriearxella @losa12308 @soosheee @lokifriggason1 @kenqki @volturissideslut @lmfaograyc @melllinaa @iluvfetuszarry @lovelywebber @violetbossler @moonys0chocolate @ourloveisforthelovely @stormymind14 @abq654 @cr1stinx @4-everm-0-re @icantwaittoliveandlearn @aceofheartzzz @ashkuuuu @i-dont-know-me-either @slayingqueenchal @hero-ically @mikeikax @extrainsanity @roryctrlshift @helloitsmeeeeeee @@dittos-blog-dylanobrien @drstargirl @17luvr @eviesmith1810 @fluffycookies22 @valencia-rou @watersquirtpewpewboomm @kentucky-criedfricken @lokisbitch13 @evangelinejxy @youroutdoorbf @ok-boke @madison-rebel @sunshineangel-reads @feast0nmeee @rey26
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renthony · 7 months ago
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On Cosplay, Fast Fashion, & Waste
Fast fashion and disposable outfits in cosplay community spaces give me anxiety. Seeing people openly talk about throwing their "trashed" cosplay away after a single con makes me sad. Some costumes are crafted with such low durability that they fall apart beyond repair if you look at them the wrong way. I've met a ton of other cosplayers whose idea of "cosplay repair" ends with a stapler and some hot glue.
I never ever ever ever want to shame people for not knowing something. Crafting is hard. Making a low-quality costume isn't a sin or a crime. If you're new and still learning and don't really know what you're doing yet, that's fine! No harm, no foul, no bruise.
The cosplayers who do make me grouchy, however, are the ones who are unwilling to try. The ones who are flippant about throwing away a cosplay without trying to mend it, repurpose it, reuse it, or pass it along. The ones who intentionally make a costume just durable enough to last a single day, then toss it in the trash with zero thought.
My sewing and costuming experience started when I joined the ren faire, and I had to make my costumes sturdy enough to survive multiple weeks of heavy use, with the durability and freedom of movement to allow sword fighting on the living chessboard. I was taught how to shop for inexpensive fabrics and materials, but use high-quality, long-lasting techniques so that my costumes didn't disintegrate after a single day of performing. I have made extremely durable, cost-effective costumes out of bedsheets and thrift store fabric, as have many of my friends.
That experience has carried over into my cosplay. I am not happy with a costume unless it can go through three consecutive days of stage combat and high-intensity walking around outside in the heat, go through the washer and dryer, and come out completely unscathed.
Again, I never want to needlessly shit on other people's cosplay. Cosplay gatekeeping sucks and is no fun for anyone. At the same time, fast fashion is just as rampant in cosplay as it is everywhere else, and it sucks to see how wasteful it is.
You can make things durable even with cheap materials. Stop making flimsy costumes that you're just going to toss. Stop making piles and piles of waste. Please stop buying fabric just to slap a costume together with glue and throw it in the trash. If you are going to invest time and money into making something by hand, make it durable and comfy and worth the effort.
Even if you only want to personally wear it once, you can sell it, give it away, trade it, do something other than toss it in the trash. Show some love to your costumes, show some love to the planet, pick one action you can take to make your cosplay a little less wasteful. Being obsessed with the myth of a "personal carbon footprint" isn't helpful, but we as cosplayers should try to at least make things that'll last longer than 24 hours.
I understand that sewing can be incredibly intimidating, but basic stitching really isn't that complicated if you have a guide and the right tools. I personally need assistive devices for sewing thanks to my hand tremors and tendonitis, but those tools do exist, and can make things easier for both disabled and newbie sewists. I use rotary cutters instead of scissors, I keep a supply of needle threaders on hand, I have multiple little gadgets that help me sew in a straight line so my shaking hands don't screw everything up. There are tons of tools available, tons of tutorials online, and if you're interested in learning, there's a whole world out there to explore.
If you don't want to do all the crafting yourself, that's totally fine, but if you are going to hand-make your costume, you should try and make it durable. It's better for the planet and it's way less stressful to go to an event when you know your costume won't fall apart on the con floor.
If you have zero idea where to start, here are some books with crafting techniques I've found very useful, both in cosplay and regular household sewing I do for my family:
Make, Sew and Mend: Traditional Techniques to Sustainably Maintain and Refashion Your Clothes, by Bernadette Banner (who also has an incredible YouTube channel)
Cosplay Fabric FX: Painting, Dyeing & Weathering Costumes Like a Pro, by Julianna Franchini
Creative Cosplay: Selecting & Sewing Costumes Way Beyond Basic, by Amanda Haas
Level Up! Creative Cosplay: Costume Design & Creation, SFX Makeup, LED Basics & More, by Amanda Haas
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winchesterwild78 · 2 months ago
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Heaven
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Master List
Characters: Dean x Reader (wife), Sam x Reader (in-laws)
Warnings: Mention of deaths, nothing too major, some fluffy stuff 
A/N: I got this idea from a post I saw @jackles010378 post. Dean has died and he meets you, his wife on the bridge. When Sammy comes, you give them their time. 
Very short story 
All work is my own, don’t take it. Reblogs and shares are welcome 
Minors DNI 18+ 
I sat on the porch of the bar with Bobby, drinking a beer. The two of us reminisced about how we met, and how he introduced me to Dean. 
It was love at first sight for me. Who wouldn’t fall for the one and only Dean Winchester. He was an amazing hunter, an incredible protector, and damn was he good looking. His jeans fit him perfectly, his shirt was just tight enough to show off his toned chest, and his biceps and bowed legs made me weak in the knees. 
Dean had so many walls up when I first met him. Who could honestly blame him? He had been through hell and back and shouldered so much from a young age. I never got the chance to meet John, and that was a good thing, because honestly, I definitely had some choice words for him. 
The day Dean finally let some of his walls down, was after a particularly hard hunt. I had gotten hurt and Dean was angry. At first I thought he was angry with me, but quickly I realized he was angry at himself for letting me get hurt. “Dean, it wasn’t your fault. It was mine. It’s not your responsibility to protect me all the time. Going left when I should have gone right was my choice, and my choice alone.” I remember touching his chest and feeling his heart beat wildly and his breath hitch. The look in his eyes had me holding my breath, and then he kissed me.
That was almost ten years ago. We had been through so much together, and after that night, we were inseparable. Dean and I had sex that night. No, it wasn’t making love or taking our time. It was primal and full of need and desire. It was raw, messy and loud. All the years of hunting together, the tension that had built and the angst from the hunt, just poured out in between those sheets that night. 
Dean took me in ways I’d never been taken, and I fell deeper in love with him. I was sure the morning light would bring regret from Dean, but I was wrong. The next morning when I woke up in his arms, he told me he didn’t want anyone else but me. We had been together ever since. 
About a year after that night Dean and I got married. We tried to have children, but it wasn’t in the cards for us. The biggest reason, I died in a car accident about a year ago. 
Dean tried to make a deal to bring me back, but no demon would deal with him. Jack let me go back and see him, I begged him to move on. Jack gave me 24 hours to be with Dean to say our goodbyes. We spent the whole time together, most of it in bed. We made love, over and over again, and Dean took pictures of the both of us together. He said he wanted to make sure he had pictures to hold on to if he couldn’t hold me. 
When it was time to say goodbye, Dean kissed me and told me he’d see me soon. I told him I didn’t want to see him too soon. “Dean, please move on. Live your life. Fall in love again, and have those babies we wanted. You deserve that, Dean. I want that for you. I love you.” Dean cupped my face, “Baby, I don’t want anyone else. You’re it for me. I love you, Y/N.” He kissed my lips one last time and then it was time for me to go. 
When I got to Heaven and Jack had taken over, I ran into Bobby. Seeing me was met with a mixture of excitement and sadness. He knew since I was there, that meant Dean was alone. Bobby pulled me into a big hug, “Hey, baby girl. I wasn’t expecting you here so soon.” “Yeah, I was in a car accident, I was hit by a truck running a red light. Imagine that, a hunter dying in a car accident and not on a hunt.” 
I made my rounds seeing loved ones and visiting different places in Heaven. Jack appeared on one of my walks, “Hey, Y/N. Go to the bridge. You have a visitor.” I looked at Jack oddly, but started to walk towards the bridge. As I approached I saw her…Baby. The beautiful, sleek, black car that held so many memories for Dean and me. Then I saw him, leaning against the side.
A soft gasp leaving my lips, “Dean.” He turned and looked at me with a smile on his face, “Hey sweetheart.” I ran to him and leaped in his arms. “Dean! I’ve missed you so much baby.” He looked exactly the same, strong jaw, beautiful green eyes, strong arms and so incredibly handsome.
He pulled me tight and close to him, “I’ve missed you too, sweetheart. So much.” “Dean, what happened? Why are you here so soon?” Dean sighed, “It was a hunt gone wrong, we saved the kids, but I misstepped and ended up impaled on a piece of rusty rebar. It went right through me.” 
A tear slipped out, “Oh Dean, I’m so sorry baby. As much as I love that you’re here I know Sammy misses you.” “Yeah, I’m sure he does, but he’s got Eileen and I’m betting he’s going to marry her. You would have loved her. She’s so good for him.”
I smiled softly, “Well maybe he will get out of the life and they live a normal life.” He smiled and nodded, thinking about his baby brother getting out of the life and living the life he deserved.
Dean and I spend the rest of the afternoon talking and catching up. We climbed in Baby and went for a drive. 
The windows rolled down, music up, Dean’s hand in mine and me  sitting next to him. This was definitely Heaven. 
Dean parked the car and had me slide closer to him. His lips on mine and hands in my hair. “God I missed you sweetheart. It’s been too long since I’ve felt your lips on mine. I’m so sorry we never had those babies we wanted. We would have made some beautiful kids.” Dean chuckled. 
I cupped his face, “Dean, it’s okay. I had you and that was enough. Besides, if we had kids and I died, you would have been left with them to raise alone. Now with you gone, who would have taken care of them? My life with you was incredible. With or without children. I had you, and you were enough.”  
“You were enough too, sweetheart. More than enough. I feel so incredibly lucky to have you as my wife. I love you.”
A few minutes later we slipped into the backseat to make up for lost time. It was incredible and felt even better than I remembered. A few hours later we were dressed again, kissed and slipped back into the front seat. 
Dean put the car in drive and we drove towards the bridge again. We climbed out of the car and he leaned against the door, pulling me into his arms. My back was to his chest and his arms wrapped around me tightly..
We talked about everything and then silence. Dean and I could always be with each other in comfortable silence. He just held me. An occasional kiss to my neck or head. 
As the sun was starting to set, Dean looked up and smiled. I looked over to where he was and saw Sam. “Hey Sammy.” Dean said with a slight chuckle. “Hey Dean, Y/N.” 
Dean’s arms let me go and I walked over to Sam and hugged him. Then Dean pulled him in for a hug. I smiled when I saw the brothers embrace. 
Sam began telling us about his life after Dean died. What felt like minutes to us was over 40 years on Earth. 
Sam told us he left the life, went back to Stanford and became an attorney. He and Eileen got married and had a little boy they named Dean. Dean smiled when he heard that. Then he told us he died as an old man surrounded by his family. 
Dean beamed with pride. Sam was Dean’s first son and everyone knew it. I kissed Dean and hugged Sam. “I’m gonna let you two catch up. I’ll meet you later at Harvells, Dean.” 
Dean pulled me close, “I love you, sweetheart.” “I love you too, Dean.” As I started to walk away I turned and looked back at my husband and his baby brother. They smiled and nodded at me. I knew they needed time together. 
I had plenty of time left to spend with Dean and in his arms. After all, this was Heaven. 
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vivwritesfics · 6 months ago
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Okay oak
So soulmate x driver
So it is lime two people being fated to always just miss or die? Kibda just before they meet each other
You can make it happy or not
Thinking max, carlos or charles/logan
🫶🫶
Lobe xoz
Please never stop being you 💓
I took this in a veeeeeeeery different direction sort of but also not
Warnings: Death, reader dies, max dies (a couple of times, actually), racing related death, murder and stabbing, shooting, sad but not really
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Past lives. Some people believed in them, some people believed that this wasn't their first go around.
Max Verstappen knew it wasn't. Well, he didn't know it right away. In fact, the concept of a past life was something he wasn't familiar with growing up. That wasn't the sort of nonsense his father would entertain.
But then Max laid eyes on her.
He knew her. They hadn't met before, but he knew her. How on earth did he know her? He hadn't seen her face online, through his phone screen, but she was so damn familiar.
She was Charles's girlfriend. She was just a girl from Monaco that one of his best friends was now dating. But that wasn't how Max knew her, because this was the weekend they were taking to go public.
The way he was looking at her was creepy, incredibly so. Everybody that caught him staring at Charles's new girlfriend thought so, and somebody had to pull him up on it.
The problem was that Max didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know he was staring at her, too lost in his thoughts because where the hell did he know her from? He wasn't looking at her with lust on his face, more confusion than anything else.
Max had a dream that night. It was incredibly weird to be dreaming of somebody else while you old lady girlfriend slept beside you. (I'll be honest it was a real tragedy that Kelly attended that race weekend).
In this dream, Max wasn't Max. He didn't know his name, but he knew he was somebody else. The fact that he was in a horse drawn carriage should have given indication that his dream wasn't set it modern day.
"A ball, papa? Really?" Max was supposed to be a perpetual bachelor, he knew. He'd marry when he had to, when he needed an heir. But his father wanted him at this ball, wanted him there to watch out for his sister. Max hated it.
He'd have some friends at the ball, he knew, there to find themselves wives. He'd be there to glare at any man who thought himself a good enough match for his sister. Max would be the judge of that.
The ball was incredibly boring. He stood, talking to lords and other sons of lords. He spoke to hungry mamas that wanted to secure him as a good match for their daughters. He tried to be charming, he really did, but they were making it so damn hard.
But then she walked into the ball.
Max had been mid sip of his drink and was damn near ready to spit it out. He knew her brother, knew her mama, but had never met her before. God, she really was something else. Everything in the room seemed to dull in her presence.
This was the first time he had seen her, that was for sure.
Finishing his drink, Max started forward. Every man in the room would want to be on her dance card, he knew. He just had to hope that he'd get there first.
Another lord took her hand and danced across the floor with her. A dissatisfied noise left his lips as he watched them. He'd never been a very patient man, this was truly a test for him.
When the dance finished, she gave a polite bow and walked to find her mama or her brother.
Max intercepted her search. He gave his name and, with a bow, she gave her own. "So," he said, mouth running dry as he took her hand and the dance began. "Tell me about yourself."
She rattled off a list of accomplishments, things every young lady had been taught to do since birth. The pianoforte and embroidery. How many times had Max heard those two since he walked into the ball?
"That's not what I meant," he said with something of a laugh. "Tell me about yourself. You, the things you enjoy doing. Not the things your mama has had you doing since birth."
Heat rose to her cheeks. "Well, my lord, I enjoy dancing. Not like this, but full body moving. This is dainty and graceful, the dancing I enjoy is loud and expressive."
"It sounds impressive," he replied as they moved across the dance floor. He hadn't looked around since their dance began, but he knew that they were the two most sought after people in the room. And they were dancing together. It was like some cosmic joke, and he was the one laughing. "Do you think I could see it one day?"
Her eyes were bright, smile wide the moment the words left his lips. "I'm not sure, my lord. It wouldn't be very proper."
"I've never been one for propriety," he whispered in her ear.
She gasped, but she wasn't disgusted with him. Her eyes were sparkling and she looked as though she wanted to pull him outside, to show him how little she cared for propriety, too.
Suddenly, the doors were thrown open. The music stopped and everybody in the room whipped their head towards the door. There stood a man. Max didn't know him, and he knew almost everybody. But not this man, clothes a mess and expression crazed.
"Gregory," the girl dancing with him gasped.
The crazed man by the door narrowed his eyes at her. "My love!" He howled and marched towards them.
"What's going on?" Max tried to whisper to her, but she hid herself behind him.
Her hands shook as she gripped his arm. "He's crazy," she whispered back. "H-he wants me to be his wife! He hasn't courted me, he hasn't spoken to my mama or my brother. He has just declared that I'm the one he's going to marry."
When Gregory got close enough, Max placed his hand on his shoulder, holding him back. "My good sir," he said, trying to maintain polite. But she was trembling too much for him to stay composed. This man had an incredibly punchable face, he realised. "I'd advise you to leave the young lady alone."
Gregory let out another crazed howl. Before Max could push him away, there was a stinging pain in his chest. Gregory pulled his hand away from his chest and Max looked at where the man had just touched him.
The beautiful hilt of a knife was sticking out of his chest, red pooling around it and staining his shirt. "Oh," was all he could say before he dropped to the floor.
The screams started up almost instantly, but whoever Max had been was dead. He watched on, though, a ghostly figure watching as Gregory tried to drag her away.
"Come, my love," he commanded, but she pushed against him.
"No," she cried, desperately searching for help. But everybody was too afraid to move. What would Gregory do next? Surely he'd try to kill anybody that stood in his way.
"Darling, stop being so dramatic," he said and pulled her across the dance hall.
The first person to move was her brother. He produced a weapon, a gun that her certainly shouldn't have been carrying. But if Gregory had made himself a known problem, Max didn't blame him for carrying the gun.
But the shot didn't hit Gregory. It would have, if Gregory hadn't pulled her behind him. No, the bullet went through her back, and she dropped like a stone.
Max woke up with a start. He'd never thought about having a past life before, but this had been so real. It couldn't have been anything but.
He didn't know that, in another hotel room, Charles's girlfriend was having the same dream that he was. She dreamt of her own death, and that had terrified her enough to wake her up.
She hated that she was dreaming of the Red Bull driver, not when her boyfriend was sleeping beside her. She didn't even know Max. She'd heard of him, sure, but why was she dreaming of him?
The next day was the first time she met Max Verstappen. Well, the first time in this lifetime. Charles had introduced them, and they tried to act like they hadn't just dreamt about each other.
All they were allowed was one single meeting. A quick handshake and fate decided that they'd had enough. But it seemed to go this way in every lifetime for the two of them.
It was quite sad, wasn't it? That they never survived for much longer past their first meeting.
For Max, there was a crash. He was upside down and in the wall, unable to respond. The marshals and medical staff got him out of the car and into the ambulance, but it wasn't looking good.
It had been a freak accident, as well. No other cars were near him as he just... went. The red flag was brought out and Max was taken to the hospital.
Three hours later and he was dead. He was dead, but he was still there. Once again, he was a ghostly figure, watching her. He realised it then, the fucked up version of soulmates that they were. Only supposed to be together in death.
Her death was a medical mystery. Max watched on as she just... went. Charles was pushing on her chest, desperately calling an ambulance, but she was already gone.
He looked up as a second ghostly figure appeared. "Hey," he said.
She said his name. Not just Max, but every name he had ever gone by. When he was a pirate and she was the siren that lured him to his death. When he was fighting in the war and she was treating his wounds. When he was a lord and she a lady.
"Do you want to show me how you dance?" He asked, moving closer.
"That wouldn't be very proper," he replied.
The world kept moving without them. For now, until their next go around started, they were frozen in time.
"I've never been one for propriety."
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skzstannie · 1 year ago
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"Let the memory-making commence"
SKZ -> ot8 x 9th member! reader
genre: fluff wc: ~2100 cw: none :) summary: After an emotional night, the boys cheer you up and try to give you something to look forward to surrounding the holidays again.
Here's Part 2 to "We'd never want you to struggle alone" Alsooo, I hit 100 followers a couple days ago, so THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Reblogs are more than appreciated!
Happy Scrolling! || Masterlist
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Previously:
You all lay in each other's arms, and you feel incredibly comfortable and safe. Chan's the first to break the silence, "We have five days left until Christmas. What do you say we make some new Christmas traditions? We don't want to replace what you used to have, and you’re entitled to spend your Christmas season as you'd like. But, if you'll let us, we’ll give you something to look forward to about the holidays again. Please?" The guys are all looking at you now, each of them displaying a face that could rival a sad puppy.
You realize now that there's nothing to be scared of. These are your best friends you're talking about, who want nothing but to shower you in love and happiness.
"I'd love that."
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So, the guys set out on their mission early the next morning, figuring they better start as soon as possible. After all, they had so many fun things they wanted to do with you before Christmas Day.
You were abruptly brought out of your peaceful slumber from an added weight landing atop your stomach. You startle, opening your eyes to be met with Hyunjin’s hair brushing up against your cheeks. You try to push him off you, holding up your title of being a grumpy morning person, but he won’t budge.
“Get up!” he whines, shaking your shoulders. “It’s already 8:30, and we can’t just let you sleep all day!”
“I’m not asking to sleep all day. I’m asking to sleep until 10, now please get off,” you struggle some more, pushing with all your might. You quickly give up though, finding your attempts futile against Hyunjin’s size and stubbornness.
“No can do, up and at ‘em sunshine!” he grips your blankets and whips them off you in a flash, leaving you shivering from the cold temperature of your room. He’s quick to throw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and he begins to make his way out of your room.
Your fists pound on his back, your only desire to go lay back down in your warm bed. This doesn’t deter him however, so you give him a nice firm smack to his butt, making him yelp. You swiftly wrap your arms around his waist as he lets you slip a little off his shoulder.
“Hwang Hyunjin don’t you drop me!” you yell, holding onto him for dear life.
“I won’t, I won’t. That just hurt really bad, you little menace!” He puts you down once you’ve arrived in the kitchen, and his hands immediately reach back to massage his poor bum.
“Well, that wouldn’t have been necessary if you’d have let me sleep another hour,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Ok, no more Ms. Grumpy Pants, I only wanna make cookies with Ms. Sunshine, so if you could please find out where she is, that'd be great,” he retorts, a sarcastic smile taking over his features.
You roll your eyes but give in, allowing your lips to curve up into a genuine smile.
Hyunjin starts to gather the ingredients for making cookies, slamming cupboards left and right. As you busy yourself doing the same, you look up towards the kitchen entryway upon hearing some ruckus from the hallway. Seungmin and Felix practically bounce into the kitchen, looking way too excited for 8:30 in the morning.
Seungmin makes his way over to you, holding an extra apron that he plops over your head, tying it loosely around your waist. “Thanks Minnie,” you tell him, turning around to give his arm a gentle pat.
“Alright, let the memory-making commence,” Felix claps his hands and giving them a quick wash in the sink, reaching for a stainless steel bowl Hyunjin had set on the counter. “If we wait too much longer, everybody else will get up and crash our cookie making party.”
All was going smoothly, the four of you working together and following a recipe Felix had printed out, until Seungmin got a little antsy and decided to flick Hyunjin in the forehead with a flour-covered finger.
Seungmin laughs at seeing Hyunjin’s expression. “Flour boy,” he calls Hyunjin, breaking out in even more giggles.
In retaliation, Hyunjin grabs a fistful of flour and launches it at Seungmin’s face, leaving the poor boy coughing.
Of course, all hell breaks loose after that, and by the end of your food fight, all four of you end up absolutely covered in flour with a single egg plastered against the fridge door.
You guys managed to finish the cookies, having barely enough flour to make the batches. Once they’ve gone in the oven, the four of you decide to go shower and get cleaned up while they bake.
All the other guys have woken up by the time you’re finished with your shower. They’re all sat around the kitchen, the aroma from the cookies no doubt drawing them in. Chan goes over the plans for today, and you smile at his thoughtfulness. After breakfast- a.k.a Christmas cookies- you’re all going to go sledding, then come back to the dorms for dinner and a Christmas movie marathon.
After you’ve all eaten one too many cookies, everyone goes to get dressed for your first group activity of the day: sledding.
You realize you don’t have any appropriate clothing for sledding, the snow sure to seep through the nice coat you have, so you ask Seungmin if he has any extra garments that'll keep you warmer.
"Yea, let me find some really quick," he responds, diving deep into his well-organized closet. He comes up with two pairs of gloves, one slimmer and one thicker, a thermal, long sleeved turtle neck, a hoodie, and a huge winter coat.
"All of this will not fit on my body at once, Seungmin," you comment exasperatedly, overwhelmed by the weight of the clothes he just threw in your arms.
"Yes they will, and you will be warm. Go get dressed, we're leaving in a few minutes," he dismisses your concerns, leaving no room for discussion. He gives you a light push out of his room so he could get himself dressed and shuts the door in your face.
"Thanks!" you shout through the door, heading back to your room to layer up.
After putting on all the clothes Seungmin gave you, you feel like a marshmallow. A big puff ball, if you will.
You walk to the living room where everyone is waiting for you, ready to complain about how you are not going out in public like this.
They are quick to rebut, telling you how adorable you look while pulling you out the front door towards the readied van in the parking lot.
The drive is uncomfortable, all your winter gear making you all hot, everyone fitting a little tighter in their seats than normal. The ride is short, though, only about 10 minutes before you're all allowed freedom of the outside once again.
You let out a small chuckle upon seeing the hill you'll be sledding down. It's small, no taller than 20 feet, but the guys assure you it'll still be fun. Upon some further digging, you find out you're manager requested you partake in absolutely zero dangerous activities during your day off, and this is all the guys could convince him of.
You guys make your way up the hill, Jeongin and Felix dragging the sleds up. To make things more interesting, everyone decides two people will race down the hill at the same time, and the winner will be decided tournament-style.
Chan and Hyunjin go first, and Hyunjin wins by just a few feet. Next is Felix and Minho, and Minho pulls out ahead. Seungmin and Changbin go next, and Changbin wins by default because Seungmin wiped out about half way down the hill. You and Jeongin, being the maknaes, decide to team up against everyone else and ride together. Of course, this doesn't go without complaints from the rest of the members, Hyunjin giving you guys the nastiest side eye he could muster. The maknaes come out on top, beating Jisung by a landslide. Maybe it's because your sled had twice as much weight on it, or maybe it's because you guys are just better; it's up for debate.
By the end of the day, you and Jeongin reign champions. You all continue to sled for a while longer, and eventually your peaceful sledding session turned into a brutal snowball fight.
The culprit of the snowball fight was Minho, deciding it'd be fun to shove a handful of snow down Jisung's jacket. This of course lead to the development of two teams, Maknae line versus Hyung line.
You guys pelt the oldies for a few minutes, obviously gaining the upper-hand once your makeshift snow fort was built, courtesy of Felix and Jisung. However, you guys surrender once Jeongin is captured and threatened with handfuls of snow down his pants.
Once arriving at home, hot showers are in need, all your fingers and toes frozen to the bone. You get dressed in your coziest pyjamas, accompanied by a big hoodie and fluffy socks.
Chan takes it upon himself to order food in for everyone, and you all thank him before deciding on which Christmas movie to watch.
You reveal that one of your favorites used to be How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Jim Carrey version, and everyone agrees to start with that one.
Your food arrives about a third of the way into the movie, and you all indulge on the much needed meal. You have some more Christmas cookies for dessert, and by the time you're finished with the food, the movie is over.
You all make light fun of Hyunjin for crying over the ending, but allow him to choose the next movie to try and put a stop to his dramatics. He chooses National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and you're thankful for another comedy.
While the day has been quite fun, watching movies isn't as thought-provoking as a snowball fight, allowing some of your anxieties and negative thoughts to creep into the back of your mind.
You miss your family. You miss the way your grandma used to sit and listen to all your school drama and the way she'd gasp when you'd tell her what your best friend had done for a boy. You miss the way your father used to buy you a pair of earrings every year for Christmas. You still had every pair, your first being cute little bunny studs, and your last being a beautiful pair of Sterling Silver hoops. You miss your grandfather's sarcastic remarks; your mom found them insulting but you always thought they were funny. You miss your mom. Everything about her- her home cooking, her hugs, the way she'd always know what to put in your stocking.
You know now, after today, that it's okay to miss those things. You're supposed to miss your loved ones. However, it is not okay to live in the past and despise change. Your mom would've wanted you to celebrate Christmas with a family as loving as the one you have here surrounding you. You know she would've loved your members, every single one of them.
She would've loved the way I.N was your partner in crime in life, never backing down when you ask him if he wants to prank Chan with you. She would've loved the way Seungmin acted like your older brother, teasing you every chance he gets. She would've loved how happy Felix is, always acting as your light in the darkness. She would've been proud of Han for fighting through his anxiety and how he helped you with yours, never letting you feel alone. Your mom would've loved Hyunjin's art, the way he paints his soul on paper with a singular brush. Your mom would've been impressed by Changbin's health journey and motivation, and she probably would've secretly convinced him to drag you to the gym with him. Your mom would've admired Minho's gentleness towards animals and his love for his cats. Lastly, your mom would've loved the way Chan takes care of you, always making sure you're happy and well.
Thinking back to yesterday and how thoughtful and caring everyone had been, you decide to tell them your creeping thoughts. They, of course, comfort you, Changbin pulling you closer from your spot between him and Minho on the couch. They ask if you want to elaborate on your feelings, but you tell them no. It had been such a fun day, and for the sake of your mental health, you choose to try and busy your mind with the plot of the movie.
This works in your favor, and you’re able to replace your thoughts with laughter. Towards the end of the film, Changbin's comforting hold has begun to lull you to sleep, too comfortable and warm to keep your eyes open any longer.
"Thank you guys for such an amazing day. I had a lot of fun," you mumble into Changbin's shoulder, pulling everyone away from the movie for a second.
You hear a chorus of coos and whispered affirmations before you officially let sleep takeover your restless mind and body.
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coffeeshades · 4 months ago
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credits to the gif maker!
LOVE IS COMPLICATED - PART VI
—echoes of desperation
summary: the trials and tribulations of falling in love or two idiots who can't get their shit together.
pairing: pedro pascal x actress/singer!reader.
word count: 4.2k
warnings: 18+ (minors dni). mentions of sex. angst!!! cursing, age gap, mentions of drugs and alcohol. asshole!pedro maybe? no use of y/n, if i missed something please let me know!
a/n: hi everyone, happy reading <3
masterlist!
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October 19, 2019
Newport, Rhode Island
The crisp autumn air greeted you as you arrived at your friend Jennifer's wedding. The historic estate, bathed in the soft golden light of the setting sun, seemed like the perfect backdrop for such a special occasion. The large, opulent estate, adorned with seasonal flowers and fairy lights, buzzed with the excited chatter of guests.
Daniel was by your side, his arm casually draped around your waist. You’d opted for a classic blue dress, elegant and understated, which seemed to enhance the sparkle in your eyes and the quiet grace in your movements.
Jennifer greeted you with her usual infectious energy and a hug that felt like a balm to your nerves. “You two! I’m so glad you could make it!”
The ceremony had taken place 40 minutes earlier, outside in the estate's lush garden, under a canopy of white roses and twinkling lights. And now the reception was in full swing. The sound of laughter and clinking glasses filled the air.
"Are you kidding? I wouldn't have missed your wedding for the world," you replied, returning her hug. "Everything looked amazing, and you were absolutely stunning in that dress."
She beamed at the compliment, her eyes sparkling with happiness.
"Congratulations, Jen," Daniel said, raising his champagne flute. You looked at him, his brown eyes shining with genuine happiness, and smiled. Jennifer took notice of this and grabbed your hands in hers, squeezing them tightly. "Thank you both so much for being here," she said, her voice filled with emotion. "And who knows, maybe you two will be next to tie the knot."
Both of you laughed at the suggestion, but you couldn't help but feel a warm flutter in your chest at the thought. A strange warm flutter, something you haven't felt in months; sadness, perhaps?
No, it couldn't be.
For the past six months, everything with Daniel has been nothing but perfect. He's been the perfect boyfriend: supportive, caring, and always there for you. You couldn't imagine being with anyone else right now. So the idea of marrying him didn't seem too far-fetched at all. On the contrary, it made perfect sense. So this feeling of unexplicable warmth and ache must've been nerves and excitement, nothing else.
The time for your speech arrived, and you took a deep breath as you were handed a microphone. The room fell into a respectful hush, the chatter and clinking glasses fading as the guests turned their attention to you. You glanced around, taking in the elegant decor and the sea of faces, many of whom you recognized. The soft, golden light from the chandeliers cast a warm glow over the gathering, and the atmosphere was filled with anticipation.
You adjusted the microphone slightly, feeling its cool metal against your fingers. You didn’t feel nervous; instead, a calm confidence washed over you. After all, you were good at this—pretending you were the best.
“Good evening, everyone,” you began, your voice clear and steady as you introduced yourself. "I have the distinct honor of speaking about our beautiful bride tonight.”
The crowd responded with polite applause, and you smiled, taking a moment to find your rhythm. "Jennifer," you continued, “where do I even begin? From the moment I met her, I knew
she was someone extraordinary. It’s not just her infectious laugh or her incredible talent that stands out, but her heart. Jennifer has a way of making everyone feel like they’re the most important person in the room.”
A soft chuckle rippled through the audience, and you saw Jennifer’s cheeks flush with a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure. You continued, weaving in anecdotes about your friendship, each story punctuated by a touch of humor and warmth. Laughter filled the room, and you finally caught Pedro’s eye momentarily. He was sitting at a table near the front, his gaze soft and attentive. The first time you saw him that night was when you arrived at the ceremony; he was already deep in conversation with someone.
You couldn’t quite read his expression, but you felt a flicker of emotion as your eyes met for a brief second. As you moved towards the more emotional part of your speech, your tone grew softer and more reflective.
The room cheered and applauded as you wrapped up your speech. Jennifer got to her feet and walked to the front, her eyes glistening with emotion. You stepped down feeling a sense of relief. The reception continued with lively music and dancing. You and Daniel enjoyed the evening, laughing and dancing with the other guests.
The joy of the celebration was palpable, but it couldn’t completely erase the tension you felt every time you glanced in Pedro’s direction. Exhausted from all the drinking and dancing and seeking a brief reprieve, you excused yourself to the bathroom.
"I'll be right back."
You give Daniel a quick kiss, his hands coming to rest on your waist.
"All good, baby?"
"Marvelous," you reply before slipping away from the crowd and into the quiet sanctuary of the bathroom. Its marble countertops gleamed under the harsh fluorescent lights, the delicate scent of lavender soap mingling with the faint aroma of champagne and floral bouquets from the reception. You stood by the sink, staring at your reflection in the polished mirror, your fingers tracing the edge of the elegant marble as if it could ground you amidst the chaos of your emotions. You took a deep breath, trying to calm the flutter of unexpected anxiety in your chest.
The silence was briefly interrupted by the sound of the door opening.
Well, so much for peace and quiet.
The door creaked open, and Pedro walked in with his usual confident stride, albeit slightly unsteady. His suit was pristine, the dark fabric impeccably tailored to his frame. Yet the disheveled state of his dark hair and the slightly rumpled collar of his shirt betrayed a night of indulgence. The contrast between his polished exterior and the evident effects of alcohol made him appear both charming and vulnerable.
Pedro’s eyes softened as they settled on you, taking in the sight of your dress—a stunning creation that clung to your form in all the right places, the deep hue accentuating your features. He stepped closer, his gaze lingering with an almost palpable mix of admiration and regret.
"I was looking for you," he said, his voice low and filled with a hint of longing. "And I saw you come in."
He locked the door behind him, the click echoing in the quiet room.
“You look incredible,” he said, his voice carrying the telltale tone of someone who had enjoyed a few too many drinks. “But then again, you always do.”
The compliment hung in the air, unacknowledged. You kept your focus on the sink, pretending to be absorbed in the intricate patterns of the marble. Pedro’s gaze remained fixed on you, sensing your reluctance and frustration.
“Not going to say anything? I come all the way in here to tell you how amazing you look, and you give me nothing,” he said, his tone a fragile blend of irritation and desperation. The words cut through the silence, revealing the cracks in his façade.
You remained silent, and the quiet only seemed to fuel his frustration. Pedro leaned against the wall, his posture both defiant and defeated. His eyes were filled with a mix of sadness and exasperation, reflecting the weight of the emotions he struggled to keep in check.
“What’s with the silent treatment?” he pressed, his voice barely more than a whisper. “We used to talk about everything, and now you can’t even respond to a compliment?”
The tension crackled like electricity in the confined space. Pedro’s dark and aching eyes betrayed the vulnerability he usually masked with confidence. He took a step closer, closing the distance between you with a sense of urgency.
“Is this how it’s going to be, then?” he asked, his voice a tremulous echo of desperation. “We’re just going to ignore each other until it all blows over again? pretending like everything’s fine when it’s clearly not.”
His proximity made your heart race; the warmth of his body and the intensity of his stare were both electrifying and suffocating. The room, once a refuge of privacy, now felt like a cage closing in on you, amplifying the emotional turmoil swirling between you.
"If I remember correctly, we already had this conversation," you finally said, your voice steady. “You come and go as you please, and then you act like nothing happened. How am I supposed to handle that?”
Pedro’s eyes filled with regret as he reached out, his fingers trembling slightly as they touched your arm.
"I’ve been trying to move on, like you told me to, but it’s impossible when you’re always on my mind." His touch was hesitant, the warmth of his hand a stark contrast to the coldness you felt inside.
As the minutes ticked by, the two of you remained locked in this intense, silent exchange. The muffled sounds of the party outside felt like distant echoes, drowned out by the gravity of your shared history and unresolved feelings.
Pedro’s eyes, dark and glassy from the alcohol, bore into yours as he closed the distance, his body pressing lightly against you. You could feel the heat of him, the scent of whiskey clinging to his breath, mixing with something familiar—him. Your pulse quickened, the rush of emotions swirling uncontrollably as you met his gaze.
“You’re drunk,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady, but it came out softer than you intended. The barrier you’d built so carefully maintained was beginning to crumble under the weight of his presence.
“And you’re beautiful,” he murmured, his breath grazing your skin. The way he said it, with that low, gravelly voice, made your heart stutter.
You wanted to hold onto the anger, to remind yourself of the hurtful words exchanged and the distance you had fought so hard to maintain, but his nearness was intoxicating. The warmth of his body, the brush of his fingertips against your arm—it was all too much. His scent, the alcohol, his desperation—it clouded your judgment, making everything hazy.
His gaze flickered over your face, searching for something you couldn’t name. “Do you love him?” he asked, and though he didn’t say Daniel’s name, the weight of the question nearly took your breath away.
You froze, refusing to answer, instead turning your head to the side, your eyes seeking solace in the marble counter or the door—anywhere but him. But Pedro, in his drunken determination, wouldn’t let you escape so easily. He gently tilted your chin up, forcing you to face him, his fingers warm against your skin.
“Look at me,” he whispered, the words barely a breath. “Tell me.”
Your eyes, betraying you, flickered to his, and in that moment, you felt everything unraveling. The years of history, the on-and-off again, the unsaid things—they crashed over you, threatening to drown you in their intensity.
“Pedro,” you managed, your voice shaky. “You’re drunk. Stop it.”
He ignored you, his eyes locked on yours, filled with a rawness that made it impossible to turn away. “No,” he insisted, his voice low and thick with emotion. “Answer me.”
The weight of his words pressed against your chest, squeezing the air from your lungs. You could feel your eyes starting to burn, the overwhelming need to cry pushing at the edges of your control. His touch was maddening—pulling memories to the surface that you’d spent so long trying to bury.
“Tell me, princesa,” he said, his voice barely a whisper now, the nickname slipping from his lips like a plea. “Do you love him?”
Your breath hitched, and for a moment, you couldn’t speak. The question lingered between you, suffocating the space; the answer too painful, too heavy to voice.
Finally, the words came, slow and trembling, barely louder than a breath. “I don’t know.”
The admission hung in the air, fragile and heartbreaking, and you could see the way it struck him, deep and unguarded. For a brief second, his hand dropped from your chin, and the look in his eyes—the sorrow, the regret—cut through you like a blade.
But still, he didn’t move. Neither did you. The gravity of everything left unsaid, everything unresolved, weighed too heavily, pulling you both into a moment from which there was no easy escape.
“Would it change something if I said no?” you asked, your voice sharp, cutting through the charged air between you both. The words were cold, edged with bitterness, the hurt simmering just beneath the surface.
Pedro’s reaction was instant—he grabbed your face with both hands, rougher than usual, though not enough to hurt. You didn't feel afraid; he could never make you feel as such. His grip was desperate, trembling slightly with the weight of everything unspoken. His eyes, though hazy from alcohol, searched yours with an intensity that made your heart pound harder. He was trying to find an answer, a way to salvage something, but you weren’t done.
“Would it change something, Pedro?” you pressed, your voice rising as you spit out the words like venom. “Would it? If I said no, would that make all of this—" you motioned between the two of you, your chest tight “—would it make this easier? What if I told you I don't love him? What if I told you I still think about you all the time? What would you do?”
Each question hit him like a physical blow, and you could see the pain etching itself deeper into his face with every 'what if' you hurled at him. He didn’t respond, but his grip on your face tightened, as if he could somehow hold onto you through the force of his hands alone. His silence only fueled your fire.
“No,” you finally said, your voice trembling but firm, “it wouldn’t matter because you're too late, Pedro. It wouldn’t change a damn thing. You think saying something now and asking me these questions will make up for all the times you left, all the times you didn’t say anything? We’re broken. And it’s too late to fix it.”
Pedro's breath was uneven as his fingers dug into your skin, not with malice but with a desperation you hadn’t seen in him before. His face crumpled for a brief second, his lips parting like he was about to say something—something big, something important—and you stopped him.
"Don't. Don't say it, not now," you whispered. "It wouldn't change a thing, so don't."
You were suffocating under him, until a sudden banging on the door jolted you both out of the moment. A voice called from the other side, followed by impatient knocks.
“Let me go,” you said, your voice trembling but resolute. The words were for more than just this moment. You needed him to release you—not just physically. But in that bathroom, right then, it felt like the only thing you could control.
Pedro didn’t move at first, his hands still gripping your face as if he couldn’t quite let go. His thumbs grazed your skin, and for a moment you saw the flash of something behind his eyes—fear, maybe, or regret—but then it passed, replaced by the same helplessness that had filled the space between you for years.
“Let me go, please,” you said again, softer this time, but it felt like more than a request. It was the final thread holding the two of you together, and cutting it felt both terrifying and necessary.
His hands slowly dropped, the warmth of his touch leaving your skin cold in an instant. It felt appropriate, almost painfully so, that this was how it ended—here, in a bathroom at a wedding, with a banging door and the realization that no matter how much you wanted it, there was no going back.
You turned away, your body trembling, unsure if it was from the confrontation or the emotional weight pressing down on your chest. The moment felt fragile, like something you needed to step away from before it shattered completely.
You weren’t sure if it was the right decision, but in that moment, it felt like the only one you could make because someone else was involved now, and the consequences of continuing down that path were too great to bear.
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November 10, 2019
Los Angeles, CA
Pedro’s day had started much like any other, but there was an added weight hanging over him, like the prelude to something significant. He woke up to the sound of light rain tapping against his windows, a rare occurrence in LA and a subtle reminder of the calm before the real storm—the Mandalorian premiere later that evening. He spent some time with his nephews, who had flown in for the event. They were excited about the premiere, already talking about how "cool" their uncle looked as The Mandalorian—though he couldn't show them much yet.
The early afternoon was a blur of preparations: phone calls from his team, final wardrobe checks, and trying to keep his mind from wandering too much into places he didn’t want it to go. Places that involved you.
He chose a classic black suit with a beige shirt, effortlessly tailored—the kind of look that made him feel composed, even when he wasn’t. The nerves were creeping in.
As the car pulled up to the red carpet, Pedro felt the energy shift—flashes of cameras, the buzz of fans, all converging in one chaotic, yet intoxicating, atmosphere. His nephews were with him, their excitement helping ground him. For them, this was magic; for him, it was part of the job. But he couldn’t deny the thrill of it—the anticipation of seeing the first episode on the big screen with an audience.
And then, there you were.
You stepped onto the carpet in a buttery yellow dress that made you look radiant—warm, untouchable, yet familiar in a way that left him breathless for a moment. The dress was soft and flowing, but the way you held yourself was sharp, like you had an invisible armor. He could tell you avoided looking at him at first, but when the group photos began, there was no choice but to stand next to each other, cameras clicking, people cheering. You posed for pictures together, smiling for the crowd, playing your parts.
Pedro could feel the space between you—so small, yet it felt like a chasm. The cameras didn’t catch that. He stole a glance at you as you laughed at something the director said during the photo op. You looked happy, at ease. He wondered if you were.
Inside the theater, the atmosphere was electric. The cast and crew gathered on stage for a brief panel discussion before the screening. Dave talked about the legacy of Star Wars and Jon about the vision of the show. Pedro listened, nodding along, just grateful for the opportunity to be a part of it all.
When it was your turn to speak, he watched you, waiting, unsure of what you’d say. Your voice was steady, confident as always, but then your words shifted.
You spoke about him.
“Pedro is... well, he’s a scene-stealer, as you’ve all seen from the trailers,” you joked, earning laughter from the audience. “But seriously, finally working with him has been one of the highlights of my career. His dedication, his talent, his kindness—it’s inspiring. I’m lucky to share this with him, and I hope we get to keep doing this for a long time.”
Pedro’s heart swelled at your words. He wasn’t sure if you meant it or if you were just saying what the audience wanted to hear. But for that moment, he let himself believe it was the truth. That you did still care, even in this small, professional way. But then again, this was your new normal—co-workers, partners on-screen, and nothing more.
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December 25th, 2019
Perth, Australia
Christmas in Perth was like stepping into another world, a sun-drenched, easy-going atmosphere that felt miles away from the traditional snowy scenes of the holiday season. Daniel’s family welcomed you with open arms, not that you were expecting any less. The air was thick with the scent of roasted meats, fresh seafood, and eucalyptus from the trees outside, creating a kind of domestic vibe that you hadn't realized you craved until you were in the middle of it.
Daniel was relaxed too—his racing season over for a few weeks now; he was finally at ease, the stress that usually clung to him gone. You spent every moment together, just soaking in each other’s presence. He even traveled with you to your last film shoot, attending your workdays like you had attended some of his races, a seamless give-and-take in your relationship that made everything feel, well, easy.
It was bliss.
On Christmas Day, after the exchange of gifts and an extravagant lunch, you received a call from your mom. You sat on the veranda, watching the cicadas buzz lazily in the midday heat, and spoke to her about how things were. She asked about Daniel, about his family, and about how you were doing with everything. You promised to visit soon, reassuring her that you were fine, happy, even.
But later, as you scrolled through Instagram, something pulled you out of that happiness, if only for a moment. A post from the Rise of Skywalker premiere a couple of days ago, you assume—a photo of Pedro and Oscar standing side by side, their smiles broad, their laughter captured perfectly in the shot. Pedro, inexplicably, was wearing... pajamas? Or maybe a robe? It was such a bizarre choice, so utterly him, that you couldn’t help but laugh aloud at the sight of it. The sound surprised you, breaking through the blanket of serenity you'd wrapped around yourself. But the pang that followed was sharper, unexpected. You scrolled past quickly, trying to ignore the ache it left behind.
•••
As New Year's Eve approached, the festive atmosphere grew louder, more carefree. You found yourself caught in the whirl of it all—the parties, the lights, the endless laughter—but always with Daniel by your side. On the night itself, amidst the dancing and celebrations with his family and friends, you received a call from Oscar and his wife. They both wished you a happy new year, their voices warm and full of affection. You exchanged pleasantries, caught up for a few minutes, until Oscar, in his usual thoughtful way, asked gently, “Have you heard from him?”
You paused, knowing exactly who he meant. “No, not really,” you said, your voice steady, but there was a crack in it that even you could hear. “But it’s okay.”
Oscar hesitated on the other end. You could feel his discomfort, the weight of watching two people he cared about drift into something neither of you could quite name. “I’m sorry,” you told him quietly, not sure why. Your words were soft, almost lost in the noise of the party around you.
“It’s no one’s fault,” he said, trying to comfort you, but it didn’t land quite right. There was a shared understanding, though—one that didn’t need words.
The conversation ended soon after, and you returned to the celebration, but it felt like a weight had settled back onto your chest, one that hadn't fully disappeared, no matter how much love surrounded you.
Later that night, as the party raged on downstairs, you and Daniel snuck away to your room, laughing softly as you closed the door behind you. The moment between you shifted quickly, from playful to urgent, as his hands found your skin and yours found his. It was quick, hot sex—an eruption of need in the midst of celebration. Afterward, he whispered, “Happy New Year,” his breath warm against your ear, and you nestled into his arms, letting yourself be wrapped in the comfort of his embrace.
But as you lay there, the world outside falling quiet, that familiar ache gnawed at your chest again. No matter how happy you seemed or how full your life felt, the longing never fully disappeared. It clung to you, a ghost from the past, waiting in the shadows for moments like this to remind you it was still there.
You wished, as you lay in Daniel’s arms, for the ache to go away with the old year. To leave behind all that hurt, all the unanswered questions, and move forward into the new year with nothing but joy.
But deep down, you knew that wasn’t how it worked.
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a/n: a like, reblog or comment, anything is very much appreciated <3 next part coming very soon!!
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tarotofzhivamoon · 10 months ago
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Masterlist • P@tr30n • Personal readings
Pause and take a big breath in, then choose the pile you feel the most drawn to🦋
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Hi! Thank you for stopping by and reading my work. I hope that you’re going to find the guidance that you need🫶🏻 You can now book a reading with me! Visit my services here and just message me if you are interested in booking any reading.
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Pile 1
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Cancer, Leo, Pisces, Aquarius, Taurus, Scorpio placements
Who are they?
Your person seems to be someone from your past, with whom you already had a relationship with and it didn’t really work out. They definitely seem to be someone who right now, is only present in your life in your memory and you might be daydreaming about them especially if this relationship has ended recently, or they may not be fully in your life, being a bit in and out. If it hasn’t ended recently, they made an impact on you and you definitely would like to give it another shot with them because you still feel a lot of love for them in your heart. This person is someone who has worked really hard to balance their feelings with their intellectual side, maybe when the two of you met in the past they weren’t really good at it because this has definitely been quite a long and slow moving journey for them. it feels as though maybe you were somewhat ahead of them and the incompatibilities were too high at that time. Now they seem to be on your level from that perspective. They have been working on themselves, slowly, and they’ve reached a point in which they are able to find a really beautiful harmony between mind, body and spirit, which is actually making them be more prepared for a relationship. They could’ve been incredibly held back, even being extremely gullible and other people might’ve made them believe various different things about themselves and the relationship with you, which wasn’t the best for a connection. They now can say about themselves that they are well balanced, able to set goals for themselves and go after them and a better team player than they were before, especially because they got used to a life in which it was only just them, one in which they were only thinking about themselves, which limited them in the way they were showing up in a relationship and working as a team with you.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
They seem to still have a lot of things to overcome, even with all the progress that they have made from when the two of you decided to go your separate ways, but the difference here is that they found their inner strength and they are better equipped to deal with the obstacles that life and relationships bring them. I would definitely say that when it comes to relationship skills, they are definitely able to be compassionate towards you and actually understand where you are coming from, making them more likely to actively listen and compromise with you so that the both of you feel safe in the relationship. They have taken back control over their ego and it’s not really the main thing that runs the show anymore, so now they’ve expanded their capacity to show and receive love in a really sweet manner that they weren’t really able to do before. This is probably one of their best relationship qualities beside the strength that they have to fight for you and for the relationship no matter what anyone else says or thinks. Once they’ve chosen their partner, they are definitely the type who will prioritize the well being of their partner and of the relationship before anything else, as they are looking for success and they have come a long way, facing many challenges to learn how to be a good partner. They’ve come from a really sad past, they probably have lost a lot of things in life and there was definitely sadness when the two of you decided to call it quits, they might’ve blamed themselves and feel as though it was their fault because they weren’t good enough and it was like a war in their heads, going back and forth, being their worst enemy because they do like to feel connected to someone and have a romantic relationship that brings them joy. So they took their weaknesses, they took their own self-judgements and they transformed those into strength that helped them become better. Thing is, I don’t believe that this person has had another significant or important relationship to actually practice these skills and so they might be a bit clumsy at times in their relationship with you, so they might be learning how to actually apply them in a relationship with you. The obstacle here is literally not knowing how to properly adapt in a relationship to that flexible extent, they might take a while to practice to be able to reach a more proficient approach and show up the way they envisioned for themselves.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
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Pile 2
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Pisces, Libra, Scorpio, Aries, Sagittarius, Aquarius placements
Who are they?
Your person is definitely someone who’s loving and kind, they definitely seem to be the ones who have a really good heart, ready to give, ready to embrace love and offer it in a really sweet way and they totally do want to get married/be in a relationship and have that long-term commitment with someone. The issue here is that even though this person has a golden heart, the might’ve been taken advantage of it and they turned out to have quite a few self-defense mechanisms that you would need to get past before actually seeing the true them. It’s not that this person is actually testing you in any way, they just are extremely careful about the way they move into the world to be able to push aside anyone who doesn’t have genuine intentions towards them. That means that they take a lot of time to open up and at first you might see them as being indecisive, not knowing what they want or need, and kind of not moving the right way in a relationship because they are still testing the waters. You might see that this is actually out of their element in some way, the way these vibes fall onto them is just now who they really are and somehow, you will actually manage to see beyond this and expect or wait for more from them. They will do a lot to protect their own hearts, always being defensive of the most previous and sensitive parts of their being and they won’t reveal their true self all at once because that approach has hurt them in the past. They might feel extremely inadequate as well, especially having dealt with people with ill intentions, and they might feel as though there is no one genuine in the world, that they have to pretend they are someone they’re not just to protect themselves and they don’t think that’s the right approach, but that they have to do it anyways because if they don’t, they’re going to get hurt again. Once these layers of protection fall bit by bit, you’re going to see a new, adventurous and playful side of them, one that actually has a lot of hope and love to give. They’re extremely loyal, especially to those who are closest to them and want to explore life by their side.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
When it comes to how they’re going to show up in your life, there’s definitely a lot of insecurity and pain that will come through here, because they doubt themselves a lot. You can see that this person is someone who’s able to create a safe space for you to be fully yourself, one in which you feel loved and cared for, them being your biggest support system with anything you may need help with, especially mental health wise, they’ve been through a lot so they know a lot and they know how to handle different situations and be the person they never had for others. They are also incredibly good at understanding their emotions, for seeing things as they are and honestly, they are also extremely self aware, able to accept the truth about themselves and no run away from it no matter how harsh it might seem, but they’re still at a crossroads now, trying to get out of being the person they’ve been, with defense mechanisms, overthinking, over giving, over working, being at a distance from themselves and not being able to truly find themselves, to actually becoming something new. They have a lot of great things about themselves that they’ve forgotten about all this time because they were so stuck in being someone they were not due to their experiences. Now, in the relationship, they need to overcome a lot of obstacles and that might create more obstacles in the relationship, on your side of it as well. You may or may not be equipped to deal with their baggage, as it seems to be a lot to handle from their side and it might feel that when the two of you make progress towards being closer to one another, something happens and the progress you made is null. There are a lot of cycles on their end that are challenging and making the relationship difficult to maintain long term, because they have lost themselves and you might not fully see their actual sweet side for a while. They might give you bits and pieces here, but they’re not allowing themselves to be who they are out of fear, which is definitely going to make you think that they don’t have the bestest intentions towards you and that they’re just playing games. They will try their hardest to make you happy, but that’s going to cause stress for them, maybe even being paranoid most of the times and not believe in themselves that they can do this. They don’t want to disappoint you but they are a bit buried under the pile of behaviors that have helped them to keep on going. Change might be on the horizon though, something might trigger it in this relationship and they will have to make a decision to heal and move on from the old, as you might be nothing like those who took advantage of them. Trust needs to be built here.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
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Pile 3
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Libra, Virgo, Leo, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Scorpio placements
Who are they?
Your person is someone who has come a long way in their journey of discovering themselves, especially because they seem to have started off with some beliefs and ideals that you can think your way through life, without feeling it at all. Feels like this person has been seeing life as an adventure, maybe even climbing their way up to where they are right now and things haven’t always been easy for them, especially in the beginning. They were unsure of themselves, unsure of their moves, only being equipped with very little knowledge about life from their caretakers and at times they had to learn the hard way how to deal with the things that came their way. This required them to be equipped with a sense of exploration when it came to the way they were thinking about things and the way they were perceiving them, thus managing to get out of their comfort zone and take risks due to the hunger and curiosity they had for life. Their parents might’ve been protective of them, there is this sense that they were quick thinkers, adventurers and wanting to explore the world, but being limited by the things around them, which has, in fact, never stopped them from going after what they wanted. Though, this has limited them a bit only on exploring the mind and not the heart. This person has matured rapidly, which also is a great example of someone who didn’t have time to learn all the skills necessary to enter the emotional world due to a lack of guidance and a push in a specific direction, so with that, they kept on exploring the mind until they started understanding it in a really elevated way up until they hit a dead end in their exploration which required them to dive deep into their emotions as well. That’s when they understood that it’s not all about what you think, there’s also always feelings involved that can offer as much information, if not more, than what the mind is providing.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
In all honesty, you can expect this person to be a little bit passive in the relationship as they are someone who usually introspects and self reflects a lot, rather than taking a really big and confident stand in any relationships. That’s something they still need to learn how to master, though they’re in the process of understanding their own emotions and they’re coming off as passive simply because within themselves, there’s big inner conflicts that keep on going on without ever stopping. They are trying their best to figure things out for themselves, making sure they are successful in anything they learn or acquire but don not expect huge gestures in the beginning from them. The more they explore their emotional world, the more inner conflict they have because they are going through major transformations in how they perceive the world around them and what they believe about various aspects of humanity and relationships in general. When one’s beliefs are being challenged, through various experiences, they’re not in a position in which they can actively respond because what they know to be true is actually crumbling and being replaced by a new one. It’s not that they wouldn’t want to show up in one way or the other, it’s that they are still learning how and while you might see this composed person, in reality, within themselves, they aren’t as composed as they appear. This exploration that they’re still doing is one of their obstacles, something they need to overcome and figure out on their own, but it’s being brought up by your relationship as you have a different approach than what they learned. Their positive side here is that they are open to learning and open to growing so this person is definitely going to want to learn more about how they can be a good partner to you and how they can show up so that you feel loved by them. They’re still new with emotions, but they are quick learners and over time, with their openness, they’re going to be really good with expressing their feelings for you and receiving the love that you’re giving them as well.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
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Pile 4
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Scorpio, Aquarius, Gemini, Virgo, Cancer, Aries placements
Who are they?
They are someone who have been looked forward to having a relationship for a really long time. For a very few of you, this is someone who has either been forced to remain single due to religious reasons or to get ready for a pre-arranged marriage that wasn’t going to make them happy/they could also be divorced as well. It feels as though this person wants a good marriage, they want to be married if that is where the relationship leads, though it’s not constantly on their mind because to them, the most important is the journey of getting there and just experiencing and devoting themselves to a long-term commitment. This person could also have some physical disabilities or even struggle with some mental health disorders that to the world, they get to be a bit marginalized or pushed outside, and that’s felt lonely to them for a really long time because they felt as though no one really understands them for who they really are. This person, no matter of their characteristics which might be particular and fit only a few of your situations, they have been working really to be able to identify some things and certain people that are rare and beautiful within and without in the crowd. They’ve been looking for someone to stand out in ways that no one else would notice, only them, because they have sharpened their eye and their energy field to be able to feel who is that person that they have been looking for and so they do tend to trust their instincts pretty much when looking for new people in their life. They’re extremely kind and connected with their emotions, but very quick witted as well all at the same time. They are always changing and improving themselves, wanting to do and be better, especially because they have been treated poorly by others and they believe that change in the world starts with change within oneself. You might be seeing them struggle with an impostor syndrome as well, as they have gone through major negative experiences and they struggle a lot with believing in themselves and their own skills.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
When they come into your life, this person is going to definitely come off as stubborn and very subjective in their interactions with you; you might see them projecting a little bit onto you too especially due to the negative romantic experiences they have had before. With this person, it’s full of ups and downs, they might not be in your life for a really long time because they might not be actually the person that you’d like to be with or there is going to be some sort of break up and them coming back later on. It’s definitely going to be a combination of being kind of carless and projecting without thinking of consequences, which is going to cause them even more pain. The world has put a lot of pressure on them and has hurt them a lot, and that is just making them either be careless, not worry too much for too long and continue running away from themselves because they just don’t feel safe enough to remain in a single place. You might be fall for them, you might feel as though this person cares for you, and they do, they just have an extremely bad way of showing it because they’re still hurting and you definitely don’t have to stick around for that if there isn’t an equal exchange of energy between the two of you. It feels as though you’re giving this person what they need, sort of like it’s helping them start addressing and seeing themselves a bit more clearly, but they are in no position of giving back to you, due to being starved from love their entire life but also because you are way out of their league, especially when it comes to emotional maturity and growth. They’re in the process of becoming more mature, but they have a lot more to experience to get there and they don’t seem to be fully in alignment with you. The obstacles that they need to overcome here are created by themselves, they’re just self-sabotaging everything and then feeling hurt that they sabotaged it. They’re still hurting and they can’t fully see past that; it feels as though they are a bit stuck in a dream in which they’re doing everything right for you, in their heads, but when it comes to how they’re actually showing up for you, they seem to distance themselves and pull away, then they don’t understand why you do and say the things you do and say to them. They need more time on their own before actually being ready for something serious.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
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Pile 5
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Pisces, Sagittarius, Taurus, Scorpio,Virgo, Gemini placements
Who are they?
This person might be someone who has been stuck in situations in which they might’ve been the third wheel in a lot of situations, either at work, either in their friend group or in another relationship. It’s very likely that their previous partner has taken advantage of them, broke their heart because they wanted to be with someone else, or they have been in a polyamorous relationship in which the parties involved struggled with communication and building trust and safety. It didn’t really end well, but their past has a lot to do with commitment and whether or not that commitment was worth it to them, regardless of their own circumstances. They dedicated themselves to the person they were with and they over extended themselves to make that relationship work, they might’ve went above and beyond and in the end, they just received a really big baggage to carry. This person is still learning how to love themselves and how they can take care of their own needs and wants, they’re sort of in an exploration journey of figuring out what wounds are open, what hurts, what works for them and what doesn’t because they don’t really want to continue on being stuck in the same cycles over and over and over again. They are experiencing a lot of pressure and inner conflict on how to go about this, they don’t really know what to think to this day about what has happened in the past, but they are doing their best to keep going and try to figure it out, hoping that there is a better future waiting for them. They have a great support system, though, it feels like this person doesn’t like to ask for help and they’re only relying on themselves most of the time, which is no making it easier for them to deal with their issues. They might not trust people around them and they’re really independent, as they have learned that they can only trust and rely on themselves to be safe.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
As you might’ve expected, this person is still going through a process of transformation that’s most likely going to last for a while so for a few years of you two being in each other’s lives, you might see that they are struggling and that they are in pain, which makes them have a little capacity for the love that they will show you. This doesn’t mean that they won’t do their best to be there for you and take you out and try to work as a team with you, but the extent to which they will do it might not feel your cup fully. They weren’t really looking for a relationship when they met you, but they actually ended up catching feelings for you and having you in their life just gives them hope that the future is going to be okay. Now, their challenges are just their pain, as if they do not properly deal with it, they might unintentionally hurt other people around them, including you, as a result of still being emotionally stuck in that moment in which they felt extremely betrayed. They are still grieving that relationship but most importantly grieving the happy and safe version of themselves that they left behind. They are sinking into this pain, giving into the desperation that they might not be able to figure it out and they certainly struggle with communicating their own pain. It feels as though this person might intellectualize it a lot, if they think about their feelings, they will probably not have to feel them and therefore they will not have to feel their pain, which is just a work around for them wanting to escape that experience and the feelings of pain that they have. They are avoiding it, whether they realize it or not, they are running away from it because they are on survival mode right now and until they learn how to calm their nervous system down, they will keep running away from their own self. This person is incredibly strong and resourceful, though they like to be in an energy of pursuing romantic interests, of being romantic and going on dates, building that relationship slowly. This also means that they usually like to find solutions to issues and they seem frozen right now so they do feel extremely powerless and guilty for now being able to show up in the way you should be treated. They will express their love through acts of service or taking care of you/buying you gifts, so while it may not seem like a lot, especially if that’s not your love language, they are doing it in the ways that feel safe for them. The positives here is the fact that they want to change, they want to do better, and right now they are a work in progress so even if they want to, it will still be on them to actually become who they want to be.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
Dividers by Kawaii-Lau on Tumblr
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f1daydreamers · 6 months ago
Text
𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐬 [𝐓𝐀𝟔𝟔] 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟒
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gif credits: @trenty
Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Fem!Reader
Summary: Arne, in hopes to focus on his team’s mental health as much as their physical, recruits a younger but just as educated psychologist to work one-to-one with the more reserved players. Trent is one of them.
A/N: I have so many ideas for this series but I can't get too carried away otherwise its gonna end up longer than a book lmaooo, also super random but this idea came to me from rewatching Trent and Robbo’s wingmen episodes and in one of them he goes, “team bonding!” verryyy heavily in his Scouse accent lol
Warnings: fluff, mentions of being overworked but nothing too harsh, general stress, this is a cute one ok ur welcome
Word Count: 2.7k words (10 mins reading avg)
...
“Why you so sour for?”
You glanced up to see your sister plopping on to the sofa, grabbing the TV remote off of the glass table situated in front of you. Her expression was curious, eyebrows raised in an exaggerated arc. You’d forgotten you’d even put a movie on.
Closing your laptop, you ran your palm over the cool steel surface.
“No reason. It’s nearly time to go to bed, what are you doing?” You watched as she navigated the TV menu, opening the ITV app and clicking on Love Island.
You rolled your eyes. “Don’t tell me you like that stuff.”
She smirked, not taking her eyes off the screen as the latest episode began to play. “No one likes it, it’s just funny as fuck.”
“Hey, why do we need to swear?”
“For expression,” she replied with a shrug, as if that was a valid reason.
“Express yourself in other ways.”
“Like what?” She challenged, finally looking at you.
You paused, a little stumped. “The world is your oyster, go and find some.”
She snorted, clearly unimpressed with your wisdom. You hoisted yourself off of the couch, tucking your laptop back into your work bag and zipping it up.
Kaia paused the show, turning so her knees were on the sofa, looking over the backrest to see you better. “Fine, but that doesn’t answer why you’re in such a mood.”
“It’s just work,” you admitted, leaning against the counter. Your eyes traced the outlines of your sister’s old drawings hung on the wall. “A lot more pressure than I’m used to.”
Her eyes lit up with youthful curiosity. “How’s the job going? Met any really fit guys yet?”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Is that all you care about?”
“It’s important! C’mon, spill,” she insisted, leaning forward.
You sighed, but a small smile tugged at your lips. “The job is good. Stressful, but good. As for fit guys.. there's.. I don’t know, a few? I’m there to work, not flirt.”
“Sure, sure,” she teased.
You chuckled, tossing a freshly washed blanket you’d just pulled out of the dryer at her. “Oo, thanks,” she said, catching it with a grin.
You rolled your eyes as she sprawled out on the couch, the music of the show coming to life once again.
You pulled the rest of the sheets from the dryer, shoving them into the laundry basket to fold in the morning. As you wiped down the counters and finished the dishes in the sink, your mind wandered again.
Arne, Lee, and the club had all been incredibly supportive since your arrival, but the internal pressure you’d carried from university - to be the best, to never fail - was fading. Wataru, Conor, and Curtis were all doing great.
From your reports, you were instructed to make Trent the priority, at least to gather enough information for a new evaluation.
But how could you do that with a player who seemingly wanted nothing to do with you?
“Y/N?” Your sister’s soft voice calling your name pulled you out of your trance.
“Yeah?” You replied, turning to face the back of the couch.
The show paused again. A beat of silence hung in the air.
“No one’s giving you a hard time, are they?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Your eyebrows furrowed as you frowned, “of course not. Why would you think that?”
“We’re pretty notorious for being hated.” Sadness poked through the tone in her voice.
“Nobody hates us, Kaia. And no one is giving me a hard time at work, I promise.” You tried to sound reassuring. She was a kid and she meant well, of course she did, but she didn’t need to know the full truth. She was your sister, not a therapist.
“Okay. Cause you do know I’ll fuck ‘em up, right?”
You scoffed, shaking your head in amusement. She picked her head up to let you sit then rested it in your lap. You pulled her hairs away from her face, combing them back with your fingers.
“With your swears?” You teased.
“I got a mean punch."
“Which I hope isn’t being put to use, thank you very much.”
“I’m an angel, really.” Which she tried to pull off in an innocent way that really didn’t suit her.
“Mhm,” you hummed, sceptical but smiling.
She chuckled, turning her head to face the TV again.
“Come on, let’s watch this shit show.” You said playfully.
“I thought you said no swearing.” She retorted matter-of-factly.
“That rule doesn't apply to 25 and above people.”
“Let me guess, when you turn 26, that rule’s gonna be extended by a year?” Kaia asked, her lips curling upwards.
“Precisely.” You smiled down at her as she rolled her eyes, playing the show.
Your smile faltered almost immediately. You subconsciously continued smoothing over Kaia’s hair, but your mind was plagued with thoughts about work, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, about him.
...
The first two matches of Liverpool’s season had come and gone in a flash. But, despite in how much of a blur it passed, the level of work every day only surmounted the work of the days before.
But you could take it. If you couldn’t handle psychology, you’d probably be useless at everything else.
The new week began, and the first thing you spotted in the mountain of emails was an update. Your cabinet for the office had arrived, courtesy of the club, who were happy to cover the costs once you'd submitted your request.
You swivelled your chair to face the desk phone, dialling reception downstairs. The phone rang twice before Annika's cheerful voice answered.
"Hello," she said brightly.
"Hey, it's Y/N from upstairs. I got an email saying my cabinet had arrived. Am I okay to collect it now?" You asked, glancing around your office and imagining where the new cabinet would go.
"Oh, don't worry," Annika replied with a smile in her voice. "We'll send someone up to drop it off for you."
"Really? It's honestly no bother," you said, feeling a bit guilty about causing extra work.
"No, I insist. They’ll be up shortly," she reassured you.
"Thank you, I appreciate that," you said, a note of relief in your voice.
"No worries!" Annika chirped.
You hung up the phone, feeling a bit lighter. Come to think of it, you really didn’t fancy carrying a ton of weight up the stairs and potentially embarrassing yourself to any bystanders.
Once you’d gone through your emails, creating your to-do list for the day, you patiently waited for your cabinet to come.
But it didn’t.
You tried to put it to the back of your mind, focusing on ticking off the first two items on your list before your first session. Yet, even as you checked them off, you found yourself glancing at the door, expecting the cabinet to arrive at any moment.
An hour passed, then another, and still no sign of the delivery. The anticipation was starting to wear on you.
You glanced at the clock situated on your desk, wondering if you’d be able to make it back in time for your session with Conor.
But just as you were ready to leave, there was a knock on your door. You walked over to open it, expecting only the Irishman. There he was, but also holding a large brown box with an outline of your cabinet on the front.
“Uh-” You couldn’t register what was happening.
“Mind if we come in? Don't fancy holding this all day.”
We.
You realised you hadn’t responded as Trent lifted his head to stare at you.
“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” You opened the door, standing off to the side. You allowed them to come in and they placed the box upright against the wall.
"Annika mentioned she'd send someone up, I didn't think she meant the players." Conor chuckled, motioning to his trusted helper.
"Yeah, well, Brian was going to bring it up but he got busy so reception asked if we could help. We were coming up anyways," he explained.
“Oh. Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you said, your voice carrying a hint of genuine gratitude. You glanced at Trent, and a heavy silence ensued.
“Yeah, whatever,” Trent muttered, his tone dripping with indifference, leaving almost immediately. You let out a quiet sigh, your shoulders slumping ever so slightly.
Conor, who had been observing the exchange with a wry smile, exhaled through his nose in mild amusement.
“He’s warming up to you,” he retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. You rolled your eyes, trying to hide a smirk.
“Aw, you really think so?”
“Sure,” he replied with a grin.
“Sit down,” you said, gesturing to the chairs. You both laughed softly as you walked over to shut the door.
Yet, an unsettling frustration gnawed at you from within. Trent had always been distant, but after weeks of being here, he still showed no signs of letting his guard down. You were no stranger to the challenges of being a psychologist, it's not like this was your first job.
But in the past few days, self-doubt had crept in. You wondered if you were even fit for it; maybe the pressures of working for one of the most prestigious football clubs in the country were finally catching up to you and kicking you in the ass.
You shook your head, feigning a smile as you returned to your desk, starting your session.
...
“Is this upside down?” You muttered to yourself, flipping the instructions around again.
What use were instructions if they had no text under them?
You debated calling your dad, but the lecture you’d receive about the hours of manual labour he used to put you through every time a new piece of furniture arrived at the house was not worth it.
“Okay. Wood, screws, knob, cabinet. Perfect.” It was only a small one, so you weren’t worried about the height of it per se, just worried about everything else.
You slumped onto the floor, surrounded by longer and shorter pieces of wood with a bag of screws and one handy screwdriver that you were currently twirling between your fingers.
Just as you were about to try again, a voice broke through your concentration.
“What are you doing?”
You gasped, your hand instinctively going to your chest as the paper floated to the ground.
“Oh my God,” you exclaimed, breathless and startled. “Can you knock next time?”
“I did knock,” Trent replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“Did you?” Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to recall when you heard a knock reverberate through your office.
“No.” He admitted.
You huffed, feeling a mix of annoyance and embarrassment at falling for his joke.
“Funny.” You mumbled, shaking your head.
To your surprise, he plopped onto the sofa situated by the side of the wall, near the door. Your eyebrows raised slightly.
Trent, sitting on your sofa, in your office, willingly? This was new. Only today, you were doubting yourself if you’d ever be able to get through to him and yet here he was.
You didn’t want to overanalyse the situation but it was hard to ignore the significance of it. Maybe he was finally starting to let his guard down, even if just a little.
There was a strange combination of nervousness and relief running riot inside of you.
Rather than drawing attention to it, you chose to stay focused on the task at hand, wary of saying anything that might reinforce his emotional walls.
“I’m trying to build a cabinet, if you must know.” You didn’t want to sound as annoyed as you were - not necessarily by the man you were conversing with, but more so by the wooden contraption that was puzzling you to your core.
He peered over the armrest, then slowly returned to his original position. “Making a lot of progress, it seems.”
“How nice of you to state the obvious,” you replied calmly, but your mind was racing.
“It’s late, how come you’re still here?” You asked, trying to make conversation. He just shrugged, pulling out his phone from his trouser pocket.
You gave a half-smile. Even if he wasn’t in the mood for conversation, he was still here, and that’s what mattered to you.
Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes passed by, and you were officially ready to give up. Resting your head against your desk, still seated on the floor, you were on the verge of admitting defeat and calling your dad.
Your attention was diverted by a soft creak from the sofa frame. Trent stood up, and you looked up at him, squinting as the ceiling light shone brightly.
“You heading out?” You asked, your voice tinged with resignation.
He took a small step to the right, blocking the light from hitting your eyes. He glanced around, as if debating something.
His mouth parted slightly.
“Move over.”
What?
“Huh?” you said, bewildered.
He tucked his bottom lip between his teeth, motioning to the pile of wood still stacked in various directions. “Move.”
“Why?”
“Why do you think?” He replied blandly, yet still entertaining your conversation. A few weeks ago, he would’ve murdered you.
You glanced down at your cabinet, which was rather resembling modern art, then back up at him.
“Are you suggesting women can’t build things?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
He tilted his head downward, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “Women can. It’s just you that can’t. Wanna disagree?”
Your pressed your bottom lip up to your top, as if you were actually considering the idea. “I’d love to argue, but you’re lucky I’m too tired right now. Maybe come back tomorrow and we can pick up where we left off.”
“Move over or I’m leaving,” he said, a touch more firmly.
“Okay, okay. Sorry.” You chuckled.
You scooted over, making room for Trent to sit beside you. He settled on the floor, crossing his legs. There was a fair amount of distance between you.
You found yourself stealing glances at him as he took a look at the instructions a few times, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude for his unexpected help.
His presence was a welcome distraction.
You couldn’t deny you were entirely useless as he separated the pieces, lining them up to get a full look at everything, ensuring nothing was absent.
“Screwdriver?” He asked for quietly and you cast a quick look around, spotting it underneath a plank of wood.
“Here.” His fingers brushed yours as he took it from you, a touch that you were acutely aware of but one he didn’t seem to think twice about.
Whenever your knees brushed while adjusting the cabinet or while holding it in place, you could feel the warmth of his proximity, which only heightened your perception of him.
After some time, the cabinet stood completed. You couldn’t help but smile proudly at the result.
Trent glanced at your beaming face and quickly looked away, as if unsure how to react. The fleeting moments of physical contact had created a soft tension in the air.
You tilted your head, deciding to tease him while you still had the chance. “Does it look a bit bent or is it just me?”
He barely looked at the cabinet, already ready to fire a response back. “It’s just you.”
You scoffed, your eyes meeting as he extended the screwdriver back toward you. You swallowed as you took it, another brush of hands.
It was brief and unexpected but he too registered it this time. He briefly tensed but stood up quickly after.
You just about scrambled to your feet after him, placing your screwdriver on your desk.
Before he could leave, you called out, “thank you.”
He turned to give you a simple nod, brushing off your gratitude.
“I mean it. Not just for building this,” you gestured toward the cabinet, “but for being here. I’m always happy to see you.”
A silence befell you both, but it didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable as it had before.
“If you don’t mind my asking, how come you came here?”
He thought about his answer for a second, wanting to correctly word it.
“Saw you struggling through the door. Thought you were finally having a heart attack or something.”
You paused for a second, slowly nodding your head. “Couldn’t miss it, huh?”
At that, Trent’s lips curved into a genuine smile as he looked away from your eyes, the first smile you’d seen from him that was actually for you.
It was a subtle, upward curl, softening his usually serious expression.
You mirrored his smile, it was hard not to. Perhaps you’d leaned forward, or your shoulders had finally relaxed, but you weren’t focused on the specifics.
“See you round, psychologist.”
You hummed, afraid that even if you opened your mouth, nothing would come out.
You watched him walk away, your eyes falling to the cabinet against the wall.
Seeing him smile, just smile at you, was a moment you wouldn’t forget so soon. It was as if a dam had burst, releasing a flood of relief and hope you’d nearly given up on.
But before you could think about it further, your phone buzzed. It was Kaia, asking when you’d be home.
You hadn’t even realised what time it was.
“Shit.”
Part 5
Masterlist
Comment below if you want to be part of the taglist! Once you are part of it, you'll be reminded for every part of the series until its completion!
Taglist: @trentwife @bluebreadenthusiast @julovesurmom @blubsberries @remmysthings @heyjudeb @keepitabuckxx @vivi-grace @hoddystark @hiireadstuff @trentione @missusstark @iamasimpingh0e @xxxstormyninixxx @lolawwww22 @myloveisforbellingham @purpleniight @bffrwme
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anonymousewrites · 8 months ago
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A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Sixteen
Kusuo Saiki x Reader
Chapter Sixteen: Taking Teruhashi Out (on a Not-Date)
Summary: Makoto (ew) shows up, and Saiki has to take precautions for his own life to not have more trouble. Luckily, he has (Y/N) to help him.
            Saiki crossed his arms and contemplated throwing Makoto out the window for the hundredth time since he met him. Saiki had been looking forward to this event all week. (Y/N) had finally come over and was going to show him how to properly make coffee jelly at home, but as soon as they’d gotten set up, Makoto Teruhashi had barged his way in crying about how Teruhashi was angry at him (rightfully so, he was being perverted as usual). He had ruined the entire night, and Saiki’s sanity wasn’t certain it could take much more of Makoto’s rambling.
            A single glance at (Y/N)’s weirded-out face confirmed they felt the same way and wanted him gone as soon as possible.
            “So, that’s what happened, and Kokomi hasn’t said a word to me since then,” said Makoto, finally finishing.
            “Go home, you perv,” said Saiki.
            “Please, please, do.” (Y/N) nodded aggressively.
            Unfortunately, Makoto ignored them to wallow in his own sadness and decided to talk some more. “To think we’re having a lover’s quarrel—”
            “You’re really not,” said (Y/N).
            “—I’m in such a pickle,” said Makoto. “Oh, by the way, when I say ‘lovers’ quarrel,’ I mean between Kokomi and me.”
            “We wish you didn’t,” sighed (Y/N).
            “I’m the only one who can have a lovers’ quarrel with Kokomi,” said Makoto.
            “Get to the point so you can get out,” said Saiki.
            Makoto leaned forward. (Y/N) leaned back. “Tomorrow my drama will be filming in my neighborhood. A lot of industry people will be there, too. Once they notice Kokomi’s beauty, that’s it. What do you think will happen if they scout her?!”
            “Don’t care,” said Saiki.
            “She’d be very successful,” said (Y/N), knowing Teruhashi would do very well due to her beauty and people’s love of her.
            “Yes! Right after her debut, she’ll be cast as the heroine in a TV drama,” said Makoto. “She’ll be the heroine in plays and movies. She’ll be in many commercials! She’ll even be stealing work from other popular actresses.” He scoffed. “I won’t allow it! Kokomi has no interest in showbiz. So, I’ll give you permission to tell her to avoid the filming location at all costs. But don’t say anything else, four eyes. Don’t even make eye-contact. You can’t even get within ten meters of her!” Makoto glared at Saiki.
            “That’s unreasonable for anyone,” said Saiki.
            “Well, I’d prefer to tell her myself, but we’re having a lovers’ quarrel, so don’t screw this up.” Makoto rose and left the room.
            “I don’t usually dislike people, but he really creeps me out,” said (Y/N), shivering.
            “And now he’s gotten me involved,” said Saiki.
            “Hey, don’t worry, I’ll tell Kokomi so you don’t have to be more involved,” said (Y/N) brightly.
            “Thank you.” Saiki was so grateful to have (Y/N) in his life. They really were incredible.
l
            “My brother came to see you?” said Teruhashi. “Oh, I’m sorry he caused you trouble.”
            “That’s putting it lightly,” said Saiki.
            “It’s nothing,” lied (Y/N).
            “But, uhm, why is Saiki standing all the way over there?” said Teruhashi.
            (Y/N) looked behind them where, ten meters away, Saiki stood. “Your brother.”
            “What?” said Teruhashi. “Oh, my, I’m so sorry about him.” She smiled sweetly. Stupid big brother! He’s giving Saiki trouble! I have to offer a token of apology. Hmm Ah! She looked up to see (Y/N) and Saiki walking away since they’d given the message. “W-Wait, Saiki, are you free after school today?” That’s right, apology. Saiki, how luck you are to get this opportunity. I have to apologize, so my hands are tied.
            Why aren’t you considering (Y/N)? thought Saiki.
            “Would you like to…go out for some tea on our way home?” said Teruhashi, looking eagerly at Saiki. “Or go to a neighboring town since they’re filming here?”
            (Y/N) felt their heart drop since this was so much like a date, and no other guy in school would even think about saying no. They hoped Saiki would, though. It would hurt if Saiki wanted to date Teruhashi and not them. It really would.
            I’ll treat you for a date! Now feel honored! Even though this is only as a token of apology. Teruhashi glanced at (Y/N). And (Y/N), although I like you, you get a lot of attention from Saiki, and it’s my turn as the perfect pretty girl. Now, come on, and say “oh, wow.”
            Saiki, about to say no, paused and decided to say something else that would create problems for him, but it would make a point to Teruhashi about her thoughts about (Y/N)—that was one thing he didn’t let slide.
            “(Y/N) and I are free this afternoon. We’ll accept your apology.” Saiki turned and walked away.
            Teruhashi’s jaw nearly dropped open as Saiki, seemingly (and actually) unperturbed, invited someone else out with him and her when she had given him the chance to be alone with her.
            (Y/N) found themself grinning. “See you later, Kokomi!”
            “Right, yeah.” Teruhashi raised a hand, still in shock. But he should’ve said, “oh wow…”
            “Didn’t want to be alone with her?” asked (Y/N) teasingly.
            “If I said no, her followers would’ve hated me. I don’t want that attention,” said Saiki. And, in a more truthful sense, the rudeness would hopefully make Teruhashi stop liking him as much (which, apparently, he’d have to try some more). Also, Saiki got more time with (Y/N). He didn’t mind that.
l
            After school, Teruhashi, Saiki, and (Y/N) ended up at the next town over. Unfortunately for Saiki, attention was coming to their group as everyone watched the perfect pretty girl grace their streets with her mere presence. Additionally, Saiki was dealing with Teruhashi’s fantasies of him saying “Oh, wow” and how she believed he was totally in love with her and freaking out about the chance to be close to her.
            Luckily, Saiki had (Y/N) walking alongside him, and Saiki could put up with a lot to spend time with them.
            “What’s that guy near her doing?” whispered one guy.
            “I bet he’s her funding source,” sneered another.
            “I wanna punch him from behind,” said a third.
            I don’t want to deal with that, though, thought Saiki.
            “Kusuo, Kokomi, do you like sweets?” said (Y/N), saving the day (in Saiki’s mind) yet again. “I saw an ad for a café nearby that looks super good.”
            I’ll have some cake with (Y/N) before leaving.
l
            Closed. The café’s sign was turned around to say it was closed.
            (Y/N) sighed, disappointed. “I really thought it would be open. Sorry, Kusuo, Kokomi.” They really were sorry. They wanted to have a nice time with Saiki (and Teruhashi), but it hadn’t worked out.
            “Well, we can always go over to the shopping district,” suggested Teruhashi, eager to try to get some of her own ideas in to impress Saiki. “We came all this way. Let’s find some good new places. Let’s go!”
            Unfortunately for Teruhashi, an hour of walking at her direction passed, but they found zero restaurants. Teruhashi’s glowing smile had fallen into a sickly attempt at one due to exhaustion. (Y/N) was feeling peckish, and Saiki was also losing interest in continuing to follow Teruhashi. That being said, it was fairly fascinating to see everything not work out for Teruhashi.
            “E-Excuse me.” A boy nervously stepped forward and blushed. “May I help you with something?”
            “We’re looking for a place to get some tea,” said Teruhashi sweetly, her glow returning.
            “O-Oh, yeah, sure!” said the boy excitedly.
            “Hey, I saw her first!” shouted another.
            “I’ll show you the way,” offered another from the crowd.
            Never mind. Everything worked out for her.
            “The sun is harsh today. Please borrow this parasol,” offered a man.
            “Here’s a coupon to the café,” said the first boy again. “I’ll go ahead and reserve a table for you.”
            “Wow, thank you,” said Teruhashi, smiling.
            “Oh, wow!” said the entire crowd.
            “It’s amazing how everything works out for her,” said (Y/N). They laughed. “I need some of that charisma.”
            “I think you’re fine the way you are,” said Saiki. Besides, he’d watch out for them. As long as he was around, they’d be alright.
l
            At the café, Teruhashi continued to be surrounded by other men while (Y/N) and Saiki sat across from her eating cake and drinking tea. She was satisfied, though, for now, since she had a whole group of people going “oh, wow!”
            Saiki made me totally forget it, but now I remember. I’m a perfect pretty girl! Having recharged her confidence, she turned back towards (Y/N) and Saiki, eager for more “oh, wows.”
            Yare yare. Teruhashi really is tough. I’ll just get through this and hurry home with (Y/N). I wonder if they’re done filming.
            (Y/N) sighed happily as they finished their tea. This is nice. I’ll have to come back here at some point when there aren’t as many people crowded around. And I should bring Kusuo.
            Saiki straightened as he heard Makoto and his director thinking about how they were changing location. They’re coming this way?! He took another bite of his cupcake. I should really do something soon. He took his time savoring the sweets.
            “These were delicious, weren’t they, Saiki, (Y/N),” said Teruhashi.
            “Yeah, they were super good,” said (Y/N), smiling.
            We took our time, but this town is big. Hopefully we won’t run into him.
            Nothing worked out for Saiki, though, and due to the ground, Makoto and his assistant decided to stop at that café.
            Saiki stood. We better leave quickly.
            “Are you ready to go, Kusuo?” said (Y/N).
            Saiki stared at them and then out the window. (Y/N) observational skills paid off, and they saw the blue hair of Makoto Teruhashi in the van outside.
            “You’re right, it’s time to go,” said (Y/N), standing. “We finished everything, after all.”
            “Can we wait a bit?” said Teruhashi. “They want me to shake hands with them, so…” She smiled and let the line form, focusing on being the perfect pretty girl.
            “Kusuo, what do we do?” whispered (Y/N).
            “I’ll flip the sign.” His psychokinesis flipped the open sign to closed.
            They tensed, but the two men walked back to their van instead of walking in.
            “We did it,” said (Y/N).
            “We should still probably leave in case they return,” said Saiki.
            (Y/N) nodded vigorously. “Good idea.”
            “6,850 yen, please,” said a waiter.
            “Oh, I’m paying!” said Teruhashi, smiling and walking over. “How much is it?”
            “Oh, you are? Two hundred yen, I guess,” said the waiter, blushing.
            “Oh, that cheap? And I have coupons,” said Teruhashi happily.
            “Then it’s twenty yen,” said the waiter.
            “I hope I get reborn as a pretty girl in my next life,” said Saiki.
            “I think you’re fine the way you are,” teased (Y/N), smiling at Saiki.
l
            “I wonder if they’re done filming,” wondered Teruhashi. “But Saiki, (Y/N), what do you think?”
            “We’ll go straight home,” said Saiki.
            To support him—since (Y/N) knew at this point Saiki wanted to really go home, so they wouldn’t push his boundaries—(Y/N) nodded. “I should probably get my homework done sooner rather than later.”
            Saiki paused, his clairvoyance showing him that the film crew was at the train station. He nearly sighed. It appeared they’d be stuck here a while longer.
            Teruhashi perked up, deciding that Saiki must be fighting with his own insecurity about hanging out with her.
            (Y/N) tilted their head, understanding they were facing another obstacle.
            “Hey, if you’re not in a rush, you and I could hang out some more, Saiki,” said Teruhashi. She smiled. “Even if (Y/N) heads home, you don’t have to go.”
            “Well, Kusuo and I were going to do homework together, so I guess I have to wait,” said (Y/N).
            Teruhashi deflated slightly. I thought I’d get some alone time with Saiki. It’s almost as if (Y/N) knows to stick around.
            They are good at covering for me. Saiki liked that—yet another characteristic in a long list that he liked about them.
            “Oh, look, I haven’t been to a place like that for a long time!” said Teruhashi as she led them to an entertainment arcade. “There are so many choices!”
            This might actually be a fortunate turn of events in terms of making Teruhashi hate me, thought Saiki.
            “A karaoke place, so cool!” said Teruhashi, trying to hint to Saiki. I don’t feel like bowling. I wanna go karaoke.
            With that, it was decided.
l
            “Another split? I have no luck today,” laughed (Y/N) as they, once again, had a terrible turn in bowling.
            Since Teruhashi didn’t want to, Saiki had absolutely wanted to. This would help get her to lose interest in him.
            “Strike!” announced the computer screen after Saiki went.
            Teruhashi deflated.
            The entire game, Saiki made sure to humiliate (Y/N) and Teruhashi with his “skill” (psychic power). That way, Teruhashi would really lose her feelings for him. It was a little mean, but Saiki was eager to have her stop chasing him around. It caused him trouble. At least (Y/N) wasn’t embarrassed and just laughed at their own lack of bowling ability.
            Still, Teruhashi wasn’t done yet, but Saiki was up to every challenge.
            When she saw a claw machine with a gorillabbit, he instead won the strawberry stuffed animal and handed it to (Y/N). They turned red and fought to thank him normally, trying to rationalize that Saiki was just trying to frustrate Teruhashi. (Obviously he did it just to annoy Teruhashi, not because he saw them looking at it earlier and thought they’d like it). Teruhashi deflated once more.
            When she challenged Saiki to table tennis, he beat her terribly. History repeated itself in darts and video games. Soon, Teruhashi was just sitting on a bench with a blank look on her face, disinterested and disappointed in everything.
            Maybe we went a little far. “Is she going to be okay?” said (Y/N), looking at her faraway stare.
            “She’ll rebound once someone says ‘oh, wow’ to her,” said Saiki.
            “Let’s head home,” sighed Teruhashi.
            “Good idea,” said Saiki.
            “It is getting late,” said (Y/N).
            “I’m exhausted,” sighed a voice behind them on the bench facing the other direction.
            (Y/N) and Saiki’s eyes widened, and they whirled.
            It was Makoto and part of his team. Because of all the people, Saiki hadn’t differentiated Makoto’s thoughts from anyone else’s, and now they were right there near them and Teruhashi.
            “Four eyes?” said Makoto, blinking. “Other one?”
            I don’t even get a name?
            “Kokomi?!” cried Makoto, seeing his sister walking away. His surprised gaze turned to anger as he assumed Saiki was on a date with Teruhashi (which was bizarre since (Y/N) was also there, but Makoto doesn’t have a good head on his shoulders).
            “What’s wrong?” asked his assistant, walking over.
            “We have to go,” said Saiki, standing and grabbing (Y/N)’s hand. He pulled them behind him, and they followed quickly.
            “Hey, Kokomi, come on!” said (Y/N) brightly, and when she looked confused, Saiki made a drastic move and dragged her along by the hand.
            “They held her hand! Get those two!” shouted Makoto, and his people looked around wildly to try to spot them.
            I thought he didn’t want her to get attention! thought (Y/N) as Saiki pushed Teruhashi into a photo booth.
            “Hey, what—” The flash went off, and Teruhashi blinked before looking back at Saiki. In the haze of light, she drew her hand back. Oh, my! How dare he take my hand and push me into a photo booth. He wants photos of me that badly?! So selfish. And yet…why am I this excited? To know he was willing to be so confident, so forward…wow.
            Saiki nearly stared in astonishment as Teruhashi went back to liking him even more, but he just retreated to another photo booth to avoid the search party Makoto had instigated. He and (Y/N) stood silently as the men ran past and the photos flashed in the other booth to keep Teruhashi distracted (and, now, invested in her fantasy that Saiki wanted something to remember her by).
            Saiki sighed. “Yare yare. She likes me even more now.”
            “I’m sorry, Saiki,” said (Y/N), giving him a half-hearted smile. “But she does seem to really like you.” And although I think I like you for other reasons and am more aware of it, I can understand.
            “I should have let you take her hand,” said Saiki.
            (Y/N) shrugged. “Everyone makes a mistake.” They smiled and lifted their hands, still holding each other. “And my hand was already taken.” They spoke teasingly, but there was a warmth that, if Saiki knew their thoughts, he’d see as affection above that of friendship.
            Saiki looked down at their hands and contemplated it for a moment. Although he was not one for physical touch, he’d initiated this, and now that he was holding (Y/N)’s hand, he found he didn’t want to let go. They were warm, and it was comfortable. Just like talking with them or spending time with them, it felt natural to be this close to (Y/N).
            “Do you want to take a photo?” said Saiki.
            (Y/N) brightened and looked at him. “How did you know I wanted to?” They knew he couldn’t read their mind with their germandium earrings on (which they would never take off).
            He didn’t. He just knew that he suddenly wanted to capture this moment, to remember how nice it was to be with (Y/N), the person he had a crush on. “You mentioned you like having photographs to remember moments to Yumehara while we were Okinawa on the beach.” And I hope you had fun with me, even if I was focused on getting Teruhashi to stop liking me.
            (Y/N) smiled. “I’d love to, Kusuo.”
            Saiki really liked hearing the word love and his name in the same sentence when it came from (Y/N).
l
            Saiki looked at the photobooth pictures in his hand in his room. Carefully, he placed it on his desk, leaning against his plant, so he could see it clearly. He sat quietly and looked at it with a now-familiar warmth glowing in his chest.
            Three photos stared back at him.
            One had Saiki looking emotionless as usual while (Y/N) beamed and raised their hands—still entwined—like a superhero in the air.
            The second had (Y/N) making half a heart with their pointer and middle finger while Saiki looked at it.
            The third has Saiki completing the heart, still no expression, but his gaze was firmly on (Y/N)’s joyful face.
            As he looked at the pictures, Saiki smiled.
Taglist:
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@drowningfishy
@rinwho
@izzieg3987
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lixopoo · 6 months ago
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Hello! I really like your posts, in particular the Belle one. Can you please do a zzz Nicole x S/O who left the Cunning Hares? Sorry if it’s long but I got in the zone. Like the S/O was a cofounder but left due to disagreements to how the agency is ran. Cue to Anby and Billy after a while of the agency being mismanaged tries to get you back in. You tried to doing one but it didn’t work out as you need her all or nothing approach, but on the other hand she needs you to reel her in. They manage to do it by tricking you two by making y’all think there was going to be a hangout but by the meet up time there’s only you two. There’s arguing but it’s let out accidentally that you like each other. After that it’s more of there being a talk to let things out what you two are and work it out as the agency you both created is both of yours baby in the end of the day.
✶ Nicole Demara dating headcanons w backstory!
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��� Nicole Demara x gn!reader ;
⇢ type - headcanons ;
⇢ tags - fluff , little bit angst(?) , kisses , hugs ;
⇢ thanks for request! i love Nicole so much, so im glad you ordered her but it seems to me that it turned out worse than i imagined, sorry!
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⋆ You and Nicole were close even before the creation of the agency, from the orphanage, since you were also an orphan. You have always envied her cunning character and how easily any task is given to her, deep down I want to become the same.
⋆ Time passed, and one family was able to adopt you, thereby taking you from the orphanage, but it all happened so suddenly that you were unable to say goodbye to Nicole, thereby leaving her completely alone. You were very sad, as was she, but a year later, walking down the street, you saw her again.
⋆ She was incredibly happy to see you, but you are stronger, so you just almost knocked her off her feet with your hugs.
⋆ Hearing the story of how she was adopted by a rich family and then made a deal with them to hang around the streets of New Eridu, you were surprised, but immediately laughed, because Nicole, who was in the orphanage has not changed a bit.
⋆ After some time, her love for money and cunning only grew, so you decided to create your own agency to help the residents of New Eridu and earn a good income.
⋆ After joining the agency of Anby and Billy the Kid, your days only became more fun and interesting, but the fact that all the money Nicole earned was turning into a minus was very alarming to you. You turned a blind eye to this, because she was the initiator of the creation of the Sly Hares, which means her money... probably?
⋆ You tried to talk to her about this topic many times, but she only avoided the conversation, calling you cute nicknames to appease you.
⋆ After another conversation with Phaeton about the order, you learned about the debts that Nicole did not mention. This was the last straw, because spending the money that the four of you earned so easily is unacceptable.
⋆ You decided to have one last conversation with Nicole on this topic when you were alone, but the result was the same, which made you even angrier.
«I'm leaving Cunning Hares»
⋆ Trembling, Nicole turned around to look at you, but saw no one. You disappeared in the same way as you did at the shelter, leaving her alone again.
⋆ For the next week, Nicole was irritated and upset at the same time, not wanting to see you at all, even though it was obvious how much she missed you.
⋆ Anby and Billy were surprised by your unexpected departure, which made them very upset. They tried to find you and just talk, but, unfortunately, you were nowhere to be found.
⋆ You decided to do easy tasks on your own to earn money, so you spent all your time either in Hollow or in places they didn’t look into.
⋆ But you couldn’t hide for long, because while playing slot machines, you accidentally met Billy, who was hanging out there, and Anby was nearby.
⋆ They were incredibly happy to see you, almost pouncing and knocking you down. Billy bombarded you with questions, which you reluctantly answered, but told you the reason for leaving.
⋆ You hung out together for a little longer before breaking up and asking her not to tell Nicole that they saw you. After which Anby immediately had a plan in her head, which she immediately told Billy.
⋆ Two days later you met them again near the slot machines, but this time you had a little more fun, after which they suddenly invited you to a “farewell party” in your honor, mentioning that, of course, Nicole wouldn’t be there and the three of you would just have fun.
⋆ Although it seemed strange to you, you were not going to refuse them. You accepted their offer and waited for the next day.
⋆ Arriving at the meeting place - a newly opened cafe, you were surprised that it was so empty inside, but you went inside anyway and sat down at the nearest table, waiting for Billy and Anby, but imagine your surprise when you saw Nicole on the threshold.
⋆ You immediately jumped up from your chair and she noticed you. You just stared at each other for a minute before she looked away with a frown.
⋆ She wanted to run away, but something stopped her, just like you, because deep down you weren’t the least bit angry at each other, only at yourself.
⋆ Realizing that Enby and Billy had simply set you up, you both got a little angry, but you knew that they meant what was best, so you just sat down at the table in silence, starting a game of silence.
⋆ You were the first to start a conversation, again remembering how naively she was throwing away the agency’s money, without thinking about others. Of course, this angered her even more, because she didn’t want to talk about it. Slamming her hands on the table and standing up, she leaned over a little to be closer to you.
«I did this for the agency, don’t you understand?! You know how dear it is to me... As dear as you!»
⋆ You knew this very well, but you still had a strange feeling. You continued your little argument until she openly admitted her feelings, immediately realizing what she said and blushing.
⋆ You stared at her with your mouth open for a few seconds before you too blushed and looked away.
«I...»
«No! Just... I want you to come back!»
⋆ Her eyes became wet, and Nicole herself just wanted to run away. You smiled faintly, seeing the real Nicole was rare. Slowly standing up and walking over to her, you hugged her from the side, beginning to calm her down.
«I love you too»
⋆ A couple of minutes later, you were already sitting next to her, holding her hand, and talking casually. You decided to return back to the agency, but on the condition that you would manage the money, since you had more financial literacy.
⋆ She is possessive, so her hugs are tight and warm enough to make you feel safe. She will always make some kind of contact with you in public, whether it's holding your hand or kissing you.
⋆ She kisses you often, so your lips are always the same color as her lipstick. Her kisses are as possessive as her hugs, but light and full of love.
⋆ Despite even the small quarrels between you, she loves you and does not want you to leave her alone again.
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actually i think this is my worst work because it was difficult for me...
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ejlovesvi · 1 year ago
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Hi
Can I please request a fic with Taylor swift x fem!reader where they are in a PR relationship and reader is a really big actress and in her late twenties and she’s an introvert and likes to build legos and play Mario cart and she’s a big softie and incredibly sweet but the catch is Taylor and her friends don’t really like the reader whenever she has to hangout with them they always ignore her and make her feel uncomfortable and unwanted between them and one day she goes live on instagram or TikTok and she’s building a Lego with her fans it’s something that she does a lot and the Lego just happens to be a lovers house one to support Taylor and the fans just go crazy meanwhile Taylor is with her friends and they are talking about how the reader is annoying and weird and always quiet and then one of them mentions how the reader is live now so they get on to spy on her and they realize how nice and cute the reader is and someone in the comments asks the reader about Taylor and she starts gushing about Taylor with a love struck smile on her face because she secretly likes Taylor and wants to pursue her for real and then later on they start treating the reader better and they go on real dates together and it’s just fluff. Sorry this is long you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to I just had this idea for a long time and wanted to share it but if you do end up writing it can you make it with as much details and events as possible. Thank you so much
note: this is such a cute idea!! it’s fairly different because i changed it up a bit to make it easier to write. thanks for the request! not proofread.
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IT’S LIKE I’M WASTING YOUR HONOR
pairing: taylor swift x fem!reader
warnings: taylor coming to her senses, sad but amazing folklore song
masterlist
to say you were in love with your PR girlfriend was an understatement. you knew it the from the moment you had met her and heard her laugh at a corny joke that slipped from your nervous lips. taylor had been incredibly kind to you and had seemed to notice things others had never thought to mention to you. you were doomed.
you two began a PR relationship for many reasons, the number one being that it would help taylor’s prideful content reach further to others who were part of the lgbtq+ community.
now obviously you knew taylor wasn’t as in love with you as you were her; or if she even really loved you at all. but you didn’t let that stop you. after all, you two were supposed to act madly in love anyway.
so now you sit here on live building a lover house lego set that the company sent you two. taylor left four hours ago to go spend some time with her model friends and you had simply kissed her on the cheek and wished her a good time as she left.
your eyes scan the comments that speed past and you catch onto one of them in particular. “does taylor show you her song writing process?” you read aloud the comment.
you think about the question for a moment, trying to figure out what you can reveal on live without getting a call from tree. you weigh your options and decide fuck it. with a smile you answer, “sometimes she does. it’s mostly after we’ve had a few glasses of wine that she sings to me. half of the songs i hear on guitar or piano end up scrapped in her notebook.”
you look down at your lego set and continue placing pieces together, all while continuing to ramble on. you try to fight the smile spreading across your face but the intense emotions at the thought of the blonde invade your mind like a thick smoke.
“it’s sometimes sad to hear songs get scrapped because they end up being my favorites.” you admit. “she’s just so talented and i love being able to see her grow as a person.”
a week later
it’s been a week since you gushed about taylor on instagram live. the repercussions ended in the internet going insane over your guy’s relationship and calling you two perfect for each other.
taylor had been acting different lately and the thought of her being upset over the live made you feel worried. what if she completely disliked that?
but as you sit in front of the brick fireplace with two wine glasses in front of you and taylor’s cats curled into the side of your criss-crossed legs — you let all those worries slip away.
taylor sits beside you, her body shifted towards you slightly. her fingers pluck at each string as she adjusts them to perfect tuning. the only light in the room elicits from the crackling fire contained in the fire place.
taylor looks up from her guitar to smile shyly at you, “this is a song i wrote last night, so it’s not perfect but i hope you like it.”
you tilt your head as you pet the cats beside you. taylor looks back down at her guitar and clears her throat, plucking at the soft chords before softly singing. “our coming of age has come and gone. suddenly the summer, it’s clear. i never had the courage of my convictions. as long as danger is near.”
you listen intently with a soft smile, watching her fingers skillfully move across the wood guitar with perfected ease.
“i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm. if your cascade ocean wave blues come. all these people think love’s for show, but i would die for you in secret.” she sings out, looking you right in the eyes for those specific lyrics.
she suddenly stops playing and swallows, looking at you with anticipation. you breath in as you take in the moment, analyzing the lyrics she just sang to you.
“those last lyrics are… something.” you breath out with a small nervous laugh.
taylor lets out a small chuckle and softens her gaze on you, “it’s true though. i’ve thought about my feelings for the past week.” she starts. “about my feelings for you specifically. this whole thing started for the public but getting to know you and experiencing your kindness has made me fall in love.”
your eyebrows raise slightly but you stay silent, letting her continue. “i want to be able to love you behind the cameras and public. and a part of me thinks you want that too.” she finishes.
with a smile gracing your lips you giggle, “taylor i’ve been in love with you since we started this stupid PR relationship.”
taylor lets out a breath of relief and sets the guitar aside. “well, that’s great news. if you rejected me i probably would’ve shit my pants.”
you bark out a laugh and lean forward, your face just inches away from hers. you glance from her pale blue eyes to her soft plump lips that you’ve only had the pleasure of kissing twice in front of paparazzi. “well, are you gonna kiss me for real or should i call some paparazzi to come get content?” you joke.
taylor rolls her eyes, “shut up you dork.”
and with that she kisses you softly but passionately. you hum and you lean in further, resting your hands on her thighs. she grabs onto the back of your head to get better control.
before you can protest she lifts you to straddle her as she lays back against the soft rug. she pulls away from the kiss and looks up at you with complete and utter love in her eyes.
you bite your lip to contain obnoxious giggles and glance over at the curled up cats. you glance back to taylor who looks over feature on your face. “let’s get to bed, tay.”
she nods and lets you drag her to bed where you fall asleep in each others arms for the first time in your 1 year relationship.
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pinkcarabiner · 1 year ago
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i hate, hate, hate how high femmes' nails are so sexualized to the point that strangers will make assumptions and comments about our sex lives. a few years ago, i remember seeing a video on tiktok of a 16 year old who got this gorgeous acrylic set in the colors of the lesbian flag and the comment section was full of grown adults making jokes about the sex life of a child. how absolutely sickening!!?! i've had people i've just met make comments about my long nails as soon as they learn i'm a lesbian. it makes me incredibly uncomfortable AND you're not entitled to details about my sex life if you're not my partner.
and so what if someone is a pillow princess/stone bottom? if you're not sleeping with them, it doesn't affect you. making fun of someone's sexual boundaries is disgusting. making fun one the only way that someone feels comfortable having sex is disgusting. furthermore, if you think someone is selfish or lazy for only bottoming, you view pleasing your partner as a chore, and that is an incredibly sad way to view sex. no one should be made to feel guilty or selfish for having sexual boundaries or wanting their partner to top them.
even if a femme is not stone, there are ways that they can top with long nails. sex isn't limited to just penetration (and you can penetrate someone without fingers). also, some femmes just may not be sexually active. there are also asexual femmes. no matter what, you're not entitled to that information.
the thing is, many high femmes use our nails as expression of our identity. it's supposed to be freeing and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty for it. learn to respect boundaries and that you're not entitled to information about people's sex lives.
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russo-woso · 7 months ago
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Hey, I have a suggestion for Jessie (feel free to write when available and if you like it ofc)
Jessie is heartbroken when moving to Portland and American reader helps her settle, takes care of the insegurities Chelsea left and she ends up falling because she was there as well to help her with Gold Cup and She Believes Cup. Reader is the first person Jessie oppened her heart to after being fucked over by her previous club and she's scared because she's falling hard
I’m here || Jessie Fleming
Summary You help Jessie during a very vulnerable time in her life
Jessie had found the move to Portland Thorns hard.
She felt many emotions from the move but the biggest one was insecurity.
She couldn’t understand why Chelsea didn’t want her anymore.
Was it that she wasn’t good enough?
Was she ever good enough?
Why wasn’t she good enough?
The only thing keeping her excited for the move was the chance to play with you.
She’d never officially met you but she knew you well enough to like you.
During the gold cup and the she believes cup, USA had played Canada and although both times Canada lost, you were the first one over to Jessie.
The same thing would always happen. You’d shake her hand and asks if she was okay and she would say congratulations on the win.
Since them moments, Jessie developed a small crush on you but it wasn’t anything major.
Then came the introduction to each other.
On Jessie’s first day, she was introduced to the whole team, a big smile appearing on her face once she met your eyes.
“Jessie, hi. I’m so glad you decided to join us.” You told her, hugging her.
“I’m glad I moved here too.” Jessie said, a hint of sadness behind her smile.
You didn’t know why Jessie was sad. You figured it was because she’d left her best friends in London, but all you did know, was that you were going to try your hardest to make her feel welcomed.
And so in order to do that, you figured the best way to start was to show her around the city.
After a few seconds of debating with herself, Jessie agreed and it was organised that you’d show her around on Saturday.
Later on that session, Jessie let a ball loose and shook her head in anger.
“Hey, hey, everyone does it. It’s fine. The last match we played, I let a ball loose by accident and it nearly resulted in the oppositions scoring. But I learnt from that mistake, that’s what we do here at Portland thorns. You make a mistake, and we help you fix it. You’re an incredible player Jessie, believe me when I say that. We’re all lucky to have you playing with us.” You told her, tears welling in Jessie’s eyes but she pushed them to the side, desperately not wanting to show any sadness to you.
Jessie didn’t know what to do, if she had done that at Chelsea, she would have been screamed at and told to do a lap.
“Thank you.” She murmured, her voice full of emotion.
After a week full of training, Jessie following you round everywhere like a lost puppy, it was finally time to show her around.
“Hi, Jessie.” You greeted her as she got into your car.
“Hi, how are you?” She said, a light red pigment spreading on her cheeks.
“I’m okay, it’s been a bit of a hectic morning, aka doing the food shop, but I’m happier now I’m with you. How about you? You done anything today?” You told her, reversing out of the driveway.
“Not much. Just unboxing some stuff and filling in paperwork.” Jessie responded, shrugging her shoulders lightly.
A silence filled the car and the light hum of the music took over.
You looked over at Jessie briefly, you could see the redness on her cheeks still present and the way how she fidgeted with her hands made it clearly evident that she was nervous.
You figured the best to make her less nervous was to get rid of the silence, desperately coming up with a conversation starter.
“So, the plan for this afternoon. First things first, we’re heading into the city, I’ll show you around, show you the best parking spots and the best, and I mean best, coffee shop in town. Then we’ll head to the Willamette River, and maybe show you shops along the way and then after that, I’ll show you my favourite spot in town. Of course, if you don’t want to do any of that, it’s fine. We can do what you want to do.” You explained but panicked towards the end as the thought of Jessie not liking anvy of the plan came to mind.
“That all sounds incredible. Thank you for this.” Jessie said, a grateful smile resting on her face.
“Seriously, it’s no problem. I would’ve just been watching movies all afternoon so you’re going me a favour.”
“So, first site on the tour, on your left you can see the…”
As you continued driving, showing Jessie all the important things of the city, you couldn’t help but notice the silence from Jessie.
Yes she was talking to you, but she was limiting her words, often saying one or two words each time.
You pushed it to the side, carrying on with the ‘tour’.
You’d finished everything you had to show Jessie except your surprise spot.
You drove up into the mountains, pulling to the left as you reached the top, reversing your car so the boot backed onto the view of the city.
It must have been reaching eight o’clock because there was a golden haze casted upon the mountains.
“It’s gorgeous up here.” Jessie said in awe as she looked at the city.
“It is, isn’t it?” You asked, looking at her.
You opened the boot, sitting down in it, gesturing for her to do the same thing.
Silence took over once more, but it was a comfortable silence this time.
There was no pressure to say anything.
You weren’t expecting Jessie to say anything but to your surprise, she did.
Taking a breath in, Jessie looked over to you before looking ahead again.
“I never wanted to move to America. I was happy at Chelsea. Well, that’s what I thought. I thought I had achieved the very best in my career being at Chelsea and maybe I had, but looking back now, I wasn’t happy there. Yes I had my friends, yes I had my life there, but I wasn’t happy.” Jessie’s voice broke as tears fell down her cheeks. “Chelsea said I wasn’t good enough, I was letting balls loose, Emma said that when I was on the pitch, the midfield was gone. When I was there, it was like I was a ghost, I didn’t make an impact. And that hurt. Ive spent my entire life trying to be the best I can and they couldn’t appreciate that. Niamh tried to get me to stay but I couldn’t. I couldn’t because Chelsea was hurting me and I couldn’t because the club that wanted me had this incredible woman that I’ve always wanted to know. So why would I say no? Why would I give up a perfectly good opportunity?”
“Jessie… I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise what you were going through. I’m sorry that Chelsea made you think all those things but you’ve got to believe me when I say they’re not true. You’re called baby Canada for a reason. You started playing for your country when you were 15. Do you know how impressive that is? And you were able to do that because you’re incredible at soccer. Jessie, please believe me.” You begged, wanting her to know the truth.
“Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for everything.” Jessie hugged you, tears still falling from her eyes as she rested her head on your shoulder, still hugging you.
“Now, I want to know something. Who’s this girl that you’ve always wanted to know?” You smirked, having a rough idea on who it is.
“American, really good at football, the most kindest and loving person I’ve ever met. I think you might know her actually. I was lucky to spend the day with her today. She goes by Y/N, know her?” Jessie joked, a smile on her face.
“I’ve heard of her. Do you know what she told me recently. She said that there’s this woman that’s just moved here. Brown hair, brown eyes, ridiculously cute, and it just so happens that she really likes this woman. That woman goes by Jessie, know her?” You continued the joke, giggly lightly.
“Hmm, heard of her.”
You and Jessie looked at each other for a few seconds, both of you wondering what to do.
“Umm, thank you again for—” Jessie began, clearing her throat as she didn’t know what to do.
“Jessie? Just kiss me.”
Jessie didn’t need to be told twice, instantly connecting her lips with yours.
Chelsea was her old life, Portland thorns, and most importantly, you, was her new life.
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nevertheless-moving · 2 months ago
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Lost Luke AU Part 5
Lost Luke AU (these are not in chronological order)
Part One - - - Part Two - - - Part Three - - - Part Four
meta , dramatic snippet , Is this how Qui-Gon felt on Genosis
amusingly and paradoxically, Luke’s presence in the lost luke au serves as evidence to the Jedi High Council that Anakin doesn’t have an attachment issue, ultimately leading to his knighting. The thought being:
Anakin had visions for a month about his family being in danger that he set aside to do his duty
it’s not until Padme insisted they go to Tatooine that he does anything about them
(of course Padme takes the blame for going to Tatooine)
when he gets to Tatooine, he finds out that his twin brother had already saved their mother, but that his adoptive family had already been killed
“Spoke of your mother, you have. Had a brother, you never mentioned.
“On Tatooine,” Luke says softly.
[Luke is a far better liar than his father, in that he know that the best lies are often the truth from a certain point of view]
“On Tatooine, pregnant slaves don’t receive medical care, not unless they’re being...deliberately bred.”
A wince in the force. Jedi are...Jedi never forget about the slave empire choking the Republic. Never. Not anymore than you forget about the horrors of your world, and in many ways they are far, far more cognizant.
But moments after being forced to choose between the evils of leading a slave army or letting a slave army fight without them, the collective guilt about slavery in general is just a tad raw.
“An owner wouldn’t know about twins until their born. Births are attended, so infants can be chipped immediately, but no one sticks around for the afterbirth. If the second twin is born long enough after...there are freedom networks.”
Here, Luke straightened up proudly. “I am the firstborn Skywalker in my family, and although we never met, I grew up knowing that I was free because of Anakin before me.”
“We never met before a few days ago, but I knew he had to be free, and that had to be enough,” Anakin added. (it’s true enough, if said hesitantly—Anakin always knew he’d see his mother again, and he always knew his son would be freeborn)
So! The council concludes that Anakin was only was drawn back to his bio family where his family needed it, not where Anakin needed it, which satisfies some more than others, depending on their definition of attachment
(ask any council of twelve a question and you’ll come away with thirteen answers)
Obi-Wan, who in between the Battle of Genosis and this meeting got read in on Luke’s whole...everything....is a little more doubtful, but needs must in a time of war and soon enough Anakin is knighted and Luke is employed by the temple’s newly formed military affairs division
Earlier Conversation:
Luke: We have to tell him!
Anakin: But you told me that one of his student’s became a Sith Lord!
Luke: But you can’t seriously think—
Anakin: No, You don’t understand—that means that his student is in the temple, which means that his Sith Master is probably also in the temple.
Luke: Oh kriff, you really think so?
Anakin: the only way the Jedi could’ve been so completely destroyed is if there was a traitor from within, maybe more than one!
Luke: okay, we won’t tell anyone else, but it’s Ben—I mean Obi-Wan—we have to tell him! He’s the only person in my whole life who told me the truth about how incredible you are!
Anakin: Oh—I uh, well! I guess when you put it that way, I—look, it’s just—I don’t want to make him sad, and I also don’t want him to be dissappointed in me for, you know.
Luke: For what?
Anakin: Well, ah, strictly speaking Jedi aren’t supposed to...
Luke: Aren’t supposed to what?
Anakin: uh. havechildren.
Luke: ...oh.
Anakin: yeah
Luke: ... are you disappointed
Anakin: What! No, no, force no, I’m thrilled! I always wanted kids! I just don’t know Obi-Wan’s going to take it
Luke: I mean, he did offer to train me, just because he knew you, and he wanted me to have your lightsaber, and he said a bunch of really nice things about you. so in the grand scheme of things, I don’t think it bothered him that much.
Anakin: Well, as nice as that is to hear, he also voluntarily lived on Tatooine, so, you know. Questionable sanity.
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wandering-tides · 9 months ago
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Are you kidding me.... ARE YOU GODDAMN KIDDING ME!????
You are telling me to abandon the ship i've been shipping for 10+ yrs, that the fandom has been shipping for 20+ yrs?????
I am sorry but, that's just insane. How could you do that to us??? It hasn't even been 2 weeks since Kaishin day and you drop that on us Gosho?????
How could you make kaishin, cousins just to justify their similar looks (and other similarities).....
Yes, I'll forever believe this was the reason why he gave us a cousin reveal (after 20+ yrs!!).... and also cuz kaishin was taking over his canon couple,,, no matter what other reason might be there or what he may give.
You wanted them to be cousins from the beginning? Then why the hell did you wait for over 20 yrs to reveal that??? Yeah no, I am not believing in any of the reasons Gosho gives for "revealing" them as cousins after over two decades.
Canon can go into the trash can and fuck itself (and f u too Gosho).
If they were going to be cousins from the beginning, they should have never given us the kaishin food for all these yrs. Neither in the manga, nor in the movies.
All that poetry Shinichi spouts everytime he is describing Kaito? That one time Shinichi held his dick? Those kissing noises in M 3? That trust they show in each other M 8 (and that train arc??)?? And I can go on and on and on about all the times they added flame to the fire and made kaishin shippers grow into what it is today.
And then suddenly they drop "cousins" on us
And you want me to accept that?? Yeah, no. Not gonna happen.
Kaishin has helped me cope with so many things, I am not gonna drop it, I am not accepting this canon.
If people want to, they are free to do so. If they want to purge their kaishin fanworks, you can do that (tho it would be incredibly sad to loose the fanworks. This fandom has some of the best fics and fanworks i've come across), if you want to leave the ship, you can do that too (which, again, would be very sad, cuz I've met some of the nicest people in this fandom, and it's one of the few fandom ship spaces that is not so tixic... as compared to many other fandom ship groups)
And that's all from me for now over this reveal. I just had to get this out of the system y'know? This reveal sucks. They are giving kaishin akai/akemi treatment, dammit.
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