#i have managed to fuse the aesthetics

[givemeabite]

Spent most of my January in hibernation, resting and enjoying some of lifes simple pleasures like the South African summer, new bedding, fresh fruit and lots of tea and coffee. In spite of everything going on in the world, I'm grateful. It was a good month.

[nottswitch]

Hi babe!! 💞

Congrats on 1k you deserve it!!!

can i get 1 pls?

hi baby!! thank you sm, and thanks for sending a request 💘 i kinda hoped that this aesthetic would come up for theo bc i really wanted to use this pic, and yay! it did! your aesthetic is…

— glowwave

(surrounding the theme of things that glow in the dark or with assistance from a UV light or with the glow of neon lights and bright, neon colors)

۶ৎ navigation ; masterlist ; theo m-list ; how to request ; 1k celebration

18+ smut

the booming beats coming from the party were filling the (almost) empty bathroom, making the floor beneath your feet vibrate. not for long, though – in a second, you were lifted up onto the sink, the cold porcelain edge digging into the back of your thighs. you didn’t really notice, though – your mind was preoccupied with your ex’s mouth devouring your own.

theo’s hands wandered all over your body, shamelessly sneaking underneath your tank top to palm your tits as his lips moved down to your jawline and the side of your neck. the feeling of his teeth sinking into your flesh made you moan softly into his ear, pulling on his hair to have a look at his face. the purple fluorescent light inside the bathroom made him look like some otherworldly creature, an alien who always managed to take you to another dimension, to a new planet completely of his own.

"missed me, cara mia?" theo murmured against your lips, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. you already knew the answer – it was the same shit every time: you’d convince yourself that you didn’t need him, that you were way better off without him, that you just weren’t meant to be. but…

"fuck- yes!"

the words were practically coaxed out of you by theo’s fingers harshly shoved deep inside your treacherously dripping pussy, making you desperately grab his shoulders for support and moan in a lewd, pornographic way into the air.

theo’s face was now adorned with an even wider, cockier smirk as his ‘fuck me’ (or, in this case, ‘fuck you’) eyes studied your blissed out expression intensely, catching every single twitch of your mouth, every single wrinkle creasing between your furrowed eyebrows. the wet, squelching sounds of your arousal mixed with the beats of some annoying techno sound rang through your positively empty brain, filled with cum, cum, theo, cum, theo-

a gasp broke out of your lips when you felt his hand cupping your jaw, fingers digging into your cheeks, firmly pressing the soft flesh against your teeth.

"what’s going on in that pretty little head, hm?" theo cooed, his voice clearly mocking. you wanted to reply, but the addition of a third finger shut you up instantly, a moan serving as a perfect reminder of your already fucked out state. "ah, piccolina, you never change."

theo chuckled and let go of your face, moving his hand to wrap around your throat instead. his lips hovered just above your parted, glistening ones. his eyebrow went up when he saw your eyes rolling to the back of your head again as his fingers curled inside you one more time.

"words, cara mia. use your words," theo hissed, tightening his hold on your throat to remind you who was in charge of the whole ordeal – although, there were never any doubts.

"cum, theo, cum," you mumbled, your voice way more high-pitched than usual, like a broken music box playing the same melody over and over again. his eyes drifted from your face to the place where his fingers were currently fucking your coherency away. the smirk was fused to his lips at that point, encouraged by drops of wetness bouncing off your inner thighs with each thrust of his.

"cum, bambina, scream my name. i want every single person in this fucking party to know you’re still hopelessly mine."

playlist

❥ e.t. by katy perry

❥ unfold by alina baraz & galimatias

❥ so sad so sexy by lykke li

❥ colors by halsey

❥ dancer in the dark by chase atlantic

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Manga ch.97-99

Cell Max is running wild, but don't worry, because Goten and Trunks are here to pad the story give Piccolo and Gohan a breather.

To be fair, the boys do a little better once they turn Super Saiyan, which kind of begs the question of why they didn't just turn Super Saiyan from the start. This page's sole purpose is to have the Gammas notice their "resemblance" to Saiyaman X-1 and X-2. This would be annoying enough even if they did look alike, but they don't. Look at them! Trunks and Goten have tights and some sort of Stormtrooper midriff thing going on. The Gammas are wearing jodhpurs and bellhop jackets. And Goten and Trunks' color schemes are clearly reversed from one to the other. The Gammas match perfectly except for their red and blue capes.

The only real similarities here are the numbers on their costumes, and the fact that there are two of them. Oh, and Gamma 1 has a red cape, and Goten has a red cape. Eerie! What are the odds of two superheroes having red capes? You almost never see that. I mean, there's Superman, Thor, Great Saiyaman, Dr. Strange, Spawn, Great Saiyaman 2, the Scarlet Witch, Supergirl, Great Saiyaman 3, Power Girl, Steel, but other than those characters, I can't think of anyone else!

Then they all pose together and attack Cell Max in concert. It looks impressive, but their quadruple-team fails to do any damage. The Gammas acknowledge that Cell Max is still getting used to moving around in his body, so he's not fighting as effectively as he will be later in the story. So that's why Goten and Trunks can do this well without actually hurting their opponent. And that's fair.

What doesn't make a lot of sense is the Gammas' role in this part of the battle. Of everyone involved in this battle, they alone understand the danger Cell Max poses to the world, because Dr. Hedo told them about Max's powers. That's why they went in first when Cell Max first emerged. They knew they had to shut him down as quickly as possible. And they're not rusty like Goten and Trunks, or unfamiliar with their bodies like Cell Max. If there's a window of opportunity here for Goten and Trunks to fight Cell Max without looking outclassed, then you'd think the Gammas would use this chance to target Max's head and finish him off.

Of course, they can't actually do that, since that's not what happened in the movie, but that's the problem I have with all of this. Toyotaro keeps shoehorning Goten and Trunks into this story, and their scenes tend to interfere with the plot instead of adding to it. The Gammas have a cool gimmick and aesthetic with the super hero thing. It works. They don't need two more characters aping that look right beside them. At best it's redundant, and at worst it just cramps their style. It'd be like if Frieza had a teen sidekick following him around repeating everything he says. It would kill his whole vibe.

Okay, so once Goten and Trunks fuse into Gotenks, the battle plays out mostly like it did in the movie, but there's one part that got changed up and it caused some controversy in the fandom. Remember how Pan almost got killed, and Krillin called out to her and told her to fly, and then she managed to fly for the first time?

So in the manga, Pan has the same moment, except she doesn't take flight. Instead...

In this version, Krillin just flies over and grabs her. And that makes sense. Why would he just assume she can fly on her own? Why not just zip over and get her? However, this kills the character arc Pan had in the movie. She started the film wishing she could do more advanced training, but Piccolo won't let her because she can't fly yet. Then in this scene, she does fly, and when the movie ends she shows Piccolo and he proudly agrees to start giving her the advanced lessons.

Fans didn't like this version, because Toyotaro appeared to be saying "no" to something the fans enjoyed in the movie. Krillin doesn't need a hero moment in this scene because he gets a couple of hero moments when he helps fight Cell Max. He saves 18 and distracts Cell Max with a solar flare. Krillin's fine. So it sure looks like Toyotaro just scrapped Pan's big moment for no discernible reason. This happened in Chapter 97.

Hey, check out this cool shot of Orange Piccolo fighting Cell Max.

Right, back to what I was saying.

So in Chapter 98, Toyotaro redeems himself by having Pan fly for the first time, just in a later part of the battle. When Big Orange Piccolo gives the last senzu bean to Gohan in the movie, Gohan just eats it and that's it. But in the manga, Cell Max attacks Piccolo and knocks it out of his hand. No one can catch it, until Pan goes after it and follows it over a ledge. Gohan's worried, but then it turns out she can fly now so she was never in danger, and she gets to help him this way.

Is it better than the movie? I can see a case for this version, but one thing that bugs me is that it seems a bit contrived for Pan to notice the senzu bean and be able to follow it through the air the way she did. I believe she could and would catch it for her dad. That's fine. But I'm not sure she would understand the need from where she was sitting in Bulma's aircraft.

For that matter, I don't know that it makes sense for Pan to understand what a senzu bean is, or why Gohan would need one so badly. Someone might have explained it to her at some point, but Pan's only three years old. I wouldn't expect her to know everything about everything.

Anyway, it goes to show how much can change from one chapter to another. People were mad about Chapter 97, but only because they didn't have 98 right there in front of them to show them it wasn't that big a deal. This is one major reason why I don't like to read the manga as it publishes.

From here, well, I think I'm just down to cool shots of the fight with Cell Max.

I don't think much is different here, but the art is cool, and this is one of my favorite parts of the movie.

I think this is a manga-only bit. Cell Max works over Piccolo with ki blasts, and it looks like Piccolo blows up, which triggers Gohan's Beast form, but then later it turns out Gamma 1 was protecting Piccolo with his force field, which allowed him to withstand the blast.

Also, when Cell Max tries to use his wings to escape the attack Gohan has planned, Toyotaro has Gamma 1, Krillin, and 18 cut off his wings. Not sure we needed this, but sure, it gives those characters one more chance to shine.

And then Piccolo holds Cell Max down and pleads with Gohan to take the shot, and that's the end of chapter 99.

And that gets me all caught up. Now I just have to wait for Chapter 100, which is supposed to drop on December 20. Hopefully, it'll wrap up the Super Hero adaptation, but I wouldn't put it past Toyotaro to drag this thing out another three chapters with some sort of press conference featuring Sergeant Nutz, Saiyaman X-1 and X-2, and Cleangod.

There's been talk of a big surprise twist or something in chapter 100, but I'm not holding my breath. Usually when this franchise has a big announcement, it's about the date for some actual announcement later, and that announcement usually turns out to be something the fans kind of already heard about anyway. "Yes, we will be releasing a Chapter 101" is the sort of thing I would expect them to "announce" in chapter 100.

It would be cool if Chapter 100 ended with Black Frieza showing up and killing Vegeta or something major like that. Or, I don't know, maybe Goten and Trunks turn evil. Those would be shocking developments, but I doubt this manga would go that far. We'll just have to see...

[simplyaskfellowplural]

Hii! I don't know if someone has asked this yet but could there be guides/inspo for a SimplyPlural member Custom Field informations?

Simply Plural App Guide 3:

"What are inspiration and ideas for Simply Plural custom fields?"

Created and written by <3 (She/Her) + 💛 (She/They)

Minor Content/Trigger Warning!: There is a mention of Fusion and Dormancy in this!

Simply Plural allows for so many different areas of customization and levels of view ability, one of those being custom fields!

Custom fields are the fields in the "info" section of each and every member profile! To access the customization you click the three horizontal lines anywhere on any page at the top left, press the cog / settings button, press "Account" then it should be in the top half labeled clearly "Custom Fields".

If you've never accessed this before, it will have default pre-set fields available, but if you want to start fresh and need ideas? Look no further than here!

So with a few previous questions, we linked an Imgur group, and that'll be the same here! Here, you can find some ideas to use for custom fields that might be helpful! But besides that, some general guidance on how to make custom fields work for you and your system or generally whatever you intend to use it for!: (That was a quick reminder that Simply Plural according to the developers has stated the app can be used for anything legal!)

What information is helpful for what you need? In the case of systemhood, what basic subjects do you think would help to know for your system?

Do you think you want to make your custom fields in some ways aesthetically pleasing? If so possibly a color border or a text border made for the title for a color border could be pleasing! (Shown below)

What privacy settings do you mainly need? Are there certain areas only needed for your system only, or can everyone who's friends with you know that information?

How much time do you have to dedicate to updating information? Can you manage several 100s of members + 100s of fields of information? Or are you more comfortable at 100s of members + 5 simple fields of information?

Try not to feel peer pressure by other System's field information, always check in and recognize what works, not what looks good. Big one for us!

Possibly create a temporary or non-temporary puppet friend account specifically to test out how you can see certain settings and information with different profiles! Scared someone's information is viewable? Use the puppet account and test it!

Think about how often you might be editing specific headmates custom fields, and how much they'll be editing their own. Try to actively communicate in the way that's possible and see what information would be crucial for every headmate to have available for their profile.

Now! For us, here's some examples of how we personally organize our custom fields!

We have a field called "Contributors 🤝", This field is meant to help us know when a profile was last updated and by who. Primarily we put our name or emoji down, and the date of when we updated the profile information.

The next field is called "Formed, Fusion(s), Dormancies", this is Meant to help figure out when someone formed from just their profile, if they fused, the times they went dormant.

Afterwards we have a category, "System Related Information", technically split up for privacy purposes.

Below is an example

Above, the two fields with the globe icon are shown to only public friends, then the two below are shown to old trusted friends. If the trusted friends info was filled out, no public friends would be aware. And it helps separate a title of what someone does internally to how they'd describe more personal things.

After these fields, we have notes fields. Mainly meant to be a public version of actual profile notes. We have one set of notes 100% public, then 2 labeled "Notes from system" and "Notes from friends". The notes from friends is a field for us personally as we have had situations where we've had to ask friends to log in and change information for us, and they left little notes for headmates in our system :>.

Then the last part is personalized. We have fields ranging from links, to playlists, to MBTI & personality Tests results. They're meant for the person to feel free to customize their profile in some way with different areas.

Those are the main areas for our custom fields!

We apologize this took a minute to get done! We're probably going to be reupdating our cover/pinned post to be more structured, and it took a while to focus fully on getting the most responsive tips for this guide out! If anyone has additional information and tips they'd like to add to this guide, or you'd like to request more specific information from this, feel free to interact!

For other Guides for Plural Apps / Websites / Resources, check out our List!

[wifegideonnav]

Okay, so I get that I think Tamsyn has said that while you can draw some clear parallels (Gideon is Female Dave, Harrow is Rose, Ianthe is Vriska), obviously Homestuck and TLT aren't one to one, in the same way that the two other big Would Not Exist Without Homestuck pieces of media, Kill Six Billion Demons and Undertale/Deltarune aren't one to one with it either. That being said. I would like to submit. Isaac is Tavros.

😭 that's so mean. to isaac. wtf.

i don't really see it but let me counter with:

babs is the tavros. obviously i've posted before about how his personality/aesthetic is similar to cronus ampora, but if you think about his relationship with ianthe, i feel like there's definitely some similarities to tavros and vriska.

now ianthe "being a vriska" is something i have a LOT of thoughts about, which i will. probably write out at some point. mainly, while they share surface level plot points and arm deficits, their motivations are very different. i've been holding off tho bc there's a lot we still don't know abt ianthe's motivations while the series is still unfinished. but in general, vriska is a child who has no idea what she's doing and just wants to be safe (although she thinks she wants to be important - and she does, but because she thinks that if she matters enough, she'll stop being vulnerable, both emotionally and physically), whereas ianthe clearly has some actual irons in the fire. (given what little we know about the tridentarii's parents and childhood, i could 100% see ianthe trying to protect herself in a similar way, but we just don't know enough to be sure.)

but to compare babs and tavros:

both the "some guy" wedged in between some very toxically codependent girlies

both killed (run through) with their own weapon by their counterpart in a mysterious facility during a very tense afternoon

you can't tell me that if it was relevant, vriska wouldn't be happy to chew on tavros (use his body for what she's trying to do)

both an intimate part of their counterpart's ascension, in opposite ways

that last point is the most interesting to me, because vriska's ascension involved her own death and ianthe's ascension involved babs's. vriska begged tavros to kill her, and he would not, leaving her to die alone and in pain, whereas ianthe had no qualms about killing babs. as we learn in the unwanted guest, babs's soul has had an effect on ianthe's - they are fusing, in a sense. compare that to the very brief existence of tavrissprite, whose constituent parts could not reconcile and merge. in the end, vriska has always been both obsessed and disgusted with tavros because the world has allowed him to be soft, and kind, and nonviolent - all things that she was never given the chance to be. whereas for ianthe and babs, they have always been fighting side by side, concealing corona's secret and managing third house high society.

so essentially, babs is a tavros who has been strong and active enough to both protect and support his counterpart. while ianthe killed babs because she needed power for whatever she has planned, and she is always going to prioritize coronabeth over anything and anyone else, she had no real beef with him and saw him as, if not an ally, then at least a means to an end whom she didn't mind being bitchy with in the meantime. meanwhile vriska killed tavros not out of necessity or duress, but because he had betrayed and abandoned her at her moment of greatest need and vulnerability, and then decided to be her enemy.

to be honest you didn't ask for any of this longass response lol but to be honester its my blog and i get to rant about vriska if i want 😌 i'd be interested to hear your case for why isaac reminds you of tavros tho! bc i seriously do not see it at this point lmao

[yanderefairyangel]

Engage, 3 Houses and the "aesthetic of deep"

Alright, so this post will be comparing the uncomparable in order to make a point about how this fandom can easily be fooled by appearances and first impressions

So recently on TwittX I made a post asking

for context I made this after someone told me about the story establishing that Sombron raised Zephia....(no comment) and I got some interesting answers

Basically saying that the reason why people managed to misunderstand some plot point if not the entire story it was because "Engage had a "too simple" aesthetic opposed to 3H's "too complex" aesthetic".

For example, I received one answer saying this

I'll spare you the big details of this conversation but I choose this quote cause it was what stuck me the most. Alright, let's sum up what happened in the begining of 3H and Engage ok ?

3H : dream of Rhea/Seiros killing Nemesis, you chose you Avatar after talking with Sothie, you meet the Lords who need to defeat a bandit named Kostas, you get nearly killed, Sothie save you and give you the power to rewind time, you do it, you save the kids, they immediately tell you they want to hire you, you go to Garrech March and get hired as a teacher and got to choose one class. By 3 chapters, all you do is essentially mission and at some points, Jeratl dies, you fused with Sothie to escape a trap set by Solon and the war begins in chapter 11-12 where Eddie declares war.

Engage : you make a dream that will be explained by a time loop in chapter 24 where you fight the final boss and that you save the world. You wake up surrounded by Stewards telling you you are a dragon revered as a deity, you encounter monster, you try to run away but have to save the twins who risked their life to help you escape, Marth lend you a hand, you beat them and as more appears, your mother arrives to help you. She takes you to the castle where she explains to you that the Dragon that tried to destroy the world might have awoken and that you have to prepare yourself. You train. You go sleep and boom, people attack by surprise and steal the rings, killed your mother and you end up with the fate of the whole world relying on your shoulder when you are amnesiac, woke up from coma and just lost your mother that you didn't even had the time to properly mourn. By the time of chapter 10, the stakes were already established : Alear as the fate of an entire world on their shoulder, they are aware of it, they lost their mother, are amnesiac, weak and dependant. Byleth on the other hand has a new job and have to choose a class. Which one has bigger stakes ? Well according to the one who made the comment, it's 3H

"saving the world is pretty boring to me now".

Somehow, fans will find the premise of saving the world boring compared to choosing your class.

And reading more of the OP's answer made it clear why he thinks like that. It's all because of the aesthetic.

3H has the aesthetic of deep. Engage has the aesthetic of something that is just "silly" or simple.

This means that 3H, no matter what it does will be seen as having a deep story because it has the looks of it. And that Engage, no matter what it does, will be seen as no more then what it present on first glance because it doesn't have the "aesthetic of deep".

3H looks more mature from a art direction point of view, it has darker colors and strives to be an adult war chronicle

Engage has a more colorful artstyle that is perceived as childish because "anime" and strives to be a tradtional hero saves the world journey.

One sounds more complex with the several route, the other too simple. So, as a result, the fans never tries to go look beyond that.

They won't question 3H's depth or Engage's simplicity. And it is a problem.

The two are not comparable because of those precisely very different aesthetic but 3H's story makes it even more of an outlier as every story as always been like Engage's about a hero's journey. The devs said as much in the Engage interview. The only difference is that Engage never tries to wear the political make up that some game could use : FE 1/11/3/12 ? Marth's adventures. FE2/15 : Alm and Celica (mostly Alm's) adventures. FE 4 ? In reality, it's about Sigurd and then Seliph's struggling to save the world. FE5 ? Leif's journey. FE 6 ? Roy's. FE7 ? Eliwood's and his friends. FE 8 ? The Renais twins's. The Tellius game ? About Ike and then Micaiah's journey. Awakening ? About Chrom, Lucina and Robin's journey. Fates ? Corrin's journey.

3H is the only game that actually tries to deal with the war in a way that is not a make up, but even that is not true when Edelgard and Dimitri's route are about their journey in growing as a person.

Engage is following the pattern here. Thus 3H, no matter how light the stakes are (choosing a class) will always seems deeper and higher then the one set by Engage, because saving the world has become such a common scenario people don't even question the gravity of it anymore. This aesthetic of simplicity that Engage is considered to have make it impossible for them to actually pause and try to consider what it feels to be in Alear's shoes : to be amnesiac, having woke from coma, knowing nothing from the world, being scared by everything, being unable to manage the fights without exterior aid and having lost your mother. And it's not even thinking about the implications of this scene once you know about the whole story, that makes this begining a lot more darker.

If you put your shoes in Byleth's... you don't even know what consequences you choice will have because you just choose your class based on which one appealed to you the most. That"s all. The divorce between the player and the self insert couldn't be higher cause no matter how much foreshadowing 3H has when it comes to this decision.... nothing changes the fact that Byleth will never knew nor expect the consequences of their action, which makes the stakes rather flat in contrast to Engage's where you are facing someone who is mourning and has to safe the world, a 17 year old who just woke up and will have to mature up quickly to become a hero. Really, which stakes are higher when you look deeper into it ?

And that's not getting into how replaying changes the perception of most of Engage's first moment. Chapter 2 was at first a very light hearted chapter, but when you realize it was written to parallel with chapter 25, what it represent to Lumera and Alear, the evolution... all of this elevate a fun chapter 2 into a tragic bounding between mother and child making the light hearted of this moment shines even brighter, cause you know that you will lose Lumera, that Alear will lose their mother even though they don't know yet that it was their very first time in being family with Lumera and the tragedy repeats each time you replay.

In 3H, this doesn't exist. Take for example the one moment that happens at least thrice ; the battle between the three lords. It happens in the first chapter of White Clouds, the chapter 7 and... in one of the chapter of AM. So basically, you have all those infor about the Battle of the Lion and the Eagle and for some reason this chapter doesn't exist in CF and SS ? And unlike in Engage where the response to Lumera's death from Alear was very different and meant to showcase their developpement... the reaction from your students remains the same in chapter 1 and 7. So... no progression. Byleth will smile but ... that's it. Just that. And I know, they don't emote often but ... that's just it. This doesn't help when this reaction doesn't really matter in route that don't have the chapter supposed to parallel with that one. And also, you are supposed to have a feast after the battle where all the students bond together... you see nothing of it. You just spend time with your students, whom are perfectly safe on the route cause none of them will die....let's say, this doesn't make this moment as striking as Engage's chapter 2 cause in chapter 2 you don't just see, you PARTICIPATE at what is supposed to be Lumera and Alear's first and last moment as family. So which balancing between dark and light is stronger ?

3H's deep aesthetic will lead people to not question some of the game's event to judge it as what it is and that's why most people are more forgivng of it's flaws such as style over substance, something that seems deep turning out to be rather shallow etc.

Engage doesn't have this aesthetic so it leads people to not try to look past its simple, to insist on it flaws and exagerate them and to not try to understand the depth hidden behing small things.

To put it simple people think 3H is deeper because it does big and Engage is bare bones cause it has the look of it bcause it does smaller.

And this mindest is actually misguided cause it's not quantity that matters but quality. The talent of a good writers isn't in "I am gonna make a lot of big things to make it seems deep and complex" it's being able to put a lot of subltely and nuancing in very small things or even obvious one just for you to realize the deeper meaning of it.

Take Sombron's name for example. People mock it as being generic cause it's dark in French. But how many of them will look into the actual etymology of Sombre ? How many will find out that its' based on a verb in old french which means to enshade and reflect his role as being the one who corrupts everything and plunged the world into darnkness ? How many will realize that his weapon, Obscurité is deepening this concept as it is supposed to show that the darkness he cast are deadly ? How many will look at his design to reason "ah yes, he looks like that cause he is meant to reprsent Alear's trauma" ?

This is the same mindset as people who won't look at Grima past evil dragon when he is the refletion of Robin's despair and fear.

This isn't just Engage. All the game that are considered "bad" by the fandom cause simple don't try to look anydeeper then this, but when it has the look of something dark, greedy, and complex it checks the box of the "aesthetic of deep" and therefore people will consider it to be deep, doesn' matter if in reality it isn't

Likewise if a media doesn't check the boxes, they will look at it as simply what it appears and not search any deeper

That's ultimately the reason why people were disappointed by Engage after 3H : it refused to embrace the same "aesthetic" as 3H. So it doesn't matter that the story is actually deeper then it is, they won't believe it because the aesthetic doesn't appeal to them.

[desultory-suggestions]

just asking for advice, you're not forced to answer ofc

i struggle a lot with motivation, when i force myself to do things, it just doesn't feel right, and i feel so guilty about it, things like going to school or even brushing my teeth, it's all pointless and physically exhausting

idk if i'm just lazy or smt

anyway, any tips for folks with low motivation?

Hello, love! Thank you for your patience. Motivation is such a common struggle. I use some unconventional study and motivation tactics personally, as someone with ADHD and Dyslexia I have to get through a lot of nonsense to do basic things. First, you are not lazy! The idea today of laziness is very frustrating to me, and I feel is built on capitalist (and white supremacist) ideals. See the NAP Ministry.

According to The (USA) National Library of Medicine, "Executive dysfunction is commonly seen in major depression. The types of executive deficits seen in depression include problems with planning, initiating, and completing goal-directed activities." Anyone struggling with depression, whether an episode or long-term can struggle with these basic tasks. So how can we deal with this?

Some different techniques that may help:

Talk through the tasks you need to do out loud. You can discuss them in linear order or not. Don't focus on making them perfect and detailed, just explain it like you would to a friend.

Explain what you are doing as if someone is watching you/you're teaching someone. This is how I motivate myself when studying/working out/etc. and shows you that you do know what you are doing.

Break tasks down into smaller pieces to help them be more manageable, or simplify the ones that seem too complicated. (For this I need to do x, then y, then z. I don't need to overthink brushing my teeth, it's okay to just go do it.

Ask someone to be your accountability buddy. Body doubling/parallel play can be very useful. I ask my partner to brush his teeth with me so I have someone else there.

Accept that you don't need to do 100% of everything. You can't brush, floss, and use mouthwash? Okay brush for even just thirty seconds, it's better than nothing!

Utilize tools, but don't try to make it fancy. Aesthetics can be helpful and motivating, they can also apply pressure to make everything look good. Google Calendar or a messy notebook is good enough.

Surrounds tasks with cushioning time to relax. Even for little tasks, you can promise yourself rest before and after. Likewise, do enjoyable things during arduous tasks. Watch a silly video, playa. song!

Consider what the biggest obstacle is. Does it feel pointless? Do you want to do it? If not, why not? How can you change what is making you avoidant? If you do want to, what feels like it's stopping you? A specific fear? Or an impenetrable wall? These questions help define the next steps.

Accept you cannot do everything, especially not when you are suffering. You deserve help and it's okay to ask for it. Professional help is important when conquering issues with motivation whether from depression, ADHD, etc. Medications, therapy, and more can improve your mood.

Some tools I use:

Brushout - An app to help you brush your teeth for the right amount of time. Simple, and makes a nice dinging sound. Can be added as a widget to your home screen on iPhones.

Google Calendar - Also simple. Easy to click and add events and get reminders for things creeping up on you.

Mnemosyne Notebook - Ok the brand doesn't matter but the paper in this is so smooth and it makes me want to use it. But yes a notebook to organize thoughts.

Little Treats - I like to keep little snacks and treats around for working on things I have been struggling with. You don't have to wait until after, let yourself fuse joy with your efforts.

You do not need to be ashamed for struggling. No matter the reason or the manner, we all go through difficult things. Reach out, and don't give up. Feel free to ask for more information or advice again.

Best,

Evan

[coldgoldlazarus]

Honestly, in hindsight I think I missed the mark here a little bit with my original post. Because the standard powersuit in most of the games isn't actually a bad look? Not as iconic, sure, but the triangle shoulders still look good, and I've seen some fan concepts for new suit designs that go back to that in some interesting ways. I think it does help that those designs still tend to have some level of bulk to the shoulderpads, not the Varia's full Super Robot look, but at least there's some noticeable substance to them.

I love how they manage to hit that sweet spot of looking aesthetically pleasing and filling her silhouette, without stepping on the Varia suit's metaphorical toes. Samus Returns' take in particular is a really nice vibe.

No, what I was thinking of was specifically the Prime 1 version of the basic powersuit, which does specifically look bad to me. The whole design is weighted with the Varia shoulders in mind, so without them it just winds up looking really gangly and awkward. Plus, the triangle shoulders looking like they fuse directly into the sides of the chestplate instead of moving on their own is just a really weird choice. They just look weirdly piddly and flat, and it also winds up further emphasizing the weird shoulder displacement issue that the Prime Varia design shares, but can distract from. Idunno, it just makes her look like she has Kongu Mahri proportions:

So TLDR, I still love the Dread suit's redesign, but I think I was too harsh about the powersuit and the concept of triangle shoulderpads before. It can be done well, it has been done well, but Prime 1 just didn't, and that colored my perception of it in general.

[call-sign-shark]

I have a question about Savage Daughter. I loved it however one part confused me a lot. Why did the mc buy a corset that was too small or tight lace her corset to make it hurt? And I'm also co fused on how the mc tore off her underwear (corset) without ruining her dress? Especially since at this time, the everyday corset she would wear would have worked no problem as long as the dress was appropriate so she wouldn't have any discomfort at all. Corsets through history have always been comfortable and easy to move in, as it was normal to do heavy labor, run, bike, or lift heavy objects every single day. They were either custom-made or shaped to the persons body to fit them perfectly. They offerd back, brest and shoulder support and took pressure off the hips. I'm sorry if this is a rant. I'm just genuinely confused about how or why this happened

Hi Nonny! Thank you so much for your interesting question and for enjoying Savage Daughter. Sorry for the confusion, I wrote this without the slightest proofreading tho, so I get it. Just so you know I’ll refer to MC as Heaven in my reply.

a. The corset wasn’t too small for her. The adorable dumbass she is just tied too very tight. Also even if 1920s corset were less restrictive than their mainstream depiction, it’s enough for her to feel suffocating. This uncomfortable sensation is also psychological since she feels oppressed by the crowd. I presume you haven’t read the series linked with the short story — it helps understanding why the character feels so cornered/choking.

b. As for the corset I get your confusion but it is not an underwear corset. It is not under her dress but above it. Just like the image below. This is why she managed to tear the lace off. Don’t know if the term corset is the good one tho, maybe bustier is better?? Idk.

c. Also to be completely honest with you, the character’s clothings are sometimes a bit “anachronistic”, either because I didn’t spent time doing extensive research on the matter or just because I love the aesthetic! 😌

[fragments-of-despair]

So thanks to justonegamr uploading a really good let's play, I got to watch the entire first chapter/prologue of Master Detective Archives: Rain Code. And I have some....thoughts. Nothing bad, really, just....some concerns.

I'll keep any spoilers under the cut and will tag this as "Master Detective Archives Spoilers", "Rain Code Spoilers" and "MDA:RC Spoilers", in case anyone wants to filter out tags.

With that one last warning, onto my thoughts.

To start: Positives!

Music: Once again, Masafumi Takeda is a Master Composer, and the soundtrack is one of the strongest he's put out so far. I enjoyed listening to the music and felt it did great at establishing the tone and I feel like it'll be the most memorable part of the game for many.

Art and Character Design: As with the music, the character designs by Rui Komatsuzaki is spot on as always and every single character looks fantastic. And the designs translated pretty well into 3D. For anyone who had worries given how UDG's models look in 3D, rest assured, everyone looks great in the Unreal Engine. On top of that, the setting is very vibrant and interesting, despite it all being mostly in one location for a good amount of the opening chapter. The Mystery Labyrinth is very colorful and creative and it was fun seeing Yuma explore. Shimadoriru did excellent work and I'm excited to see more of his art in the setting of Kanai Ward.

Player Character/Protagonist: I WOULD DIE FOR YUMA KOKOHEAD. I adore this little guy and I find him to be quite entertaining. If Wato Hojo from Process of Elimination is what would happen if you fused Hajime and Shuichi, then Yuma Kokohead is what you'd get if you mixed Makoto and Shuichi (or if you want to imagine a Naegiri child, that is also an apt description of Yuma so far). He seems to have an ability to let him feel when someone is using their Forensic Forte, almost like some kind of magical physical empathy.

I want nothing but good things for him. Protect Yuma Kokohead.

The First Mystery: Without going into too much detail, the way the culprit of this first case managed to pull off the murders was rather clever. I have family that has been working railways for decades now, and we've been train fanatics for years, so the car switch trick was definitely clever. Not the first time this trick has been used in mysteries. In fact, I'd say it's a classic in train-centric murder mysteries. But Rain Code's example was really good in that not only was it clever for the murderer, but also was good to help establish more about our big bad and give hints to the difficulty of the enemies to follow. Overall, a solid mystery.

Now for the negatives. Or rather......concerns......Okay, a mix of both really.

Last chance to turn away before MAJOR SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Gameplay and User Interface: From what I've seen this game is not going to be friendly for those who have vision issues. There were points where I was finding it difficult to read and that affected my ability to enjoy the investigative portions. And I'm watching on a small flatscreen TV I use as a computer monitor. Playing this on small screens is going to be hard for some, which I don't think was really taken into account during development. Aesthetically it looks fantastic, but unless you got really good vision or some super strong glasses, you'll probably have as hard a time as I did. (this will be especially hard in the Pirate Pop Up minigame that seems to be replacing Hangman's Gambit. We truly cannot avoid that game being hell, can we?).

Also, there were parts where, as I was watching, it looked like there might be issues regarding whether or not the controls will read properly. It looked like justonegamr should have managed to dodge some things but in the end, the game read that they didn't. I imagine a lot of it has to do with the font and the size of the hit box. Just know that if this was an issue for you in UDG, it might be a minor problem in Rain Code as well.

Also, there were points during the game that I thought that the concept of the Mystery Labyrinth was....for lack of better words, it felt very gratuitous at points. I think the story is trying to set up something with them, so I'll hold my full thoughts off until then, but with what we're presented with so far, it's pretty much coming off as "What if we took the trials of Danganronpa and made it a Persona 5 dungeon", and it isn't really working for me.

Oh yeah, Climax Reasoning is back. Forgot to mention that. It's....fine? I guess? I think it leans too far in the aesthetics and had trouble reading most of the questions and hints personally. It's kind of hard to top the Climax Reasoning from Goodbye Despair and V3......

The Rest of the Cast and Overall Story: Oh boy. This one is going to be a doozy.

I just want to say, before we go on, that what I am about to say is my personal thoughts and if you do not agree, no hard feelings. It's just my own personal silly little opinion and you're free to disregard it.

With that being said, I am severely disappointed in how Five of the Master Detectives that were advertised were treated.

I hope no one here were fans of Pucci, Zange, Melami, Zilch, or Aphex based on their designs, Character Profiles, and Forensic Fortes. Because they're all dead.

That's right. FIVE of our detectives are dead right now. What had happened was, Amataratsu Corp. hired a hitman to kill the detectives. And that hitman was Zilch. Or rather, someone disguised as Zilch. Or maybe it was Zilch. See, the explanation we're given is that there was a Master Detective named Zilch, but that he was killed before the others and his identity was stolen, while his body is stored on the train somewhere. The Imposter Zilch then drugged everyone, killed Pucci, Melami, Zenge, and Aphex by burning them to death, and then used Aphex's body to help fake his own death, before hiding in the control room in a blind spot and framing Yuma for the crime. The train car swap was done using a split track and a tunnel as well as leaving a car behind at one station (it was supposed to be five cars long but was four for the trip to pull off the trick), and having another prepared at the end point. The real Zilch is supposed to be on the car that was left behind on at the station.

But according to Shinigami, completing the Mystery Labyrinth and letting her reap the culprit's soul there kills the culprit. And the culprit looked like too much Zilch to make me believe it wasn't. Shouldn't it have looked more like the actual character? Or perhaps be similar to the Grey Man we see in the Climax Reasoning if they wanted to keep it more vague?

Also, throughout the prologue up until their deaths, it really felt like they were building up these detectives to be interesting acquaintances to Yuma, and I was looking forward to seeing how they'd all work together and grow. Aphex actually ended up being my favorite of the five because what little interactions we got were that impactful to me. So you can imagine my surprise to find all these detectives not only dead, but that Zilch (my second favorite) wasn't even the real Zilch. I wasn't shocked like I was when playing Danganronpa or going through Process of Elimination and finding these characters dead. I was left feeling hollow, frustrated, but mostly, I was disappointed. The hype around these characters and their talents was enough to get me hooked, and what little we got made me want more. But now we're not going to get anything. It's like being given a taste sample at Cold Stone only to be told that the ice cream you were offered was just taken off the menu by corporate and they're not allowed to serve it to you anymore. This is going to make a lot of people put down the game I think if they were hoping to investigate with any of those five and experience their Fortes in more interesting and dynamic cases, and I wouldn't blame them. If they bring them back somehow, it'll have to be pretty damn convincing because as things are now, they can't without making it feel like an asspull.

And as for Shinigami.......

I'm so sorry everyone, but I just cannot get behind her right now. She's a lot like if you fused Junko, Genocide Jack, and Ibuki in terms of personality, for lack of better ways to describe her. It was those three I was thinking of whenever she spoke or was on screen. But there's a reason characters like Ibuki, Jack, and Junko work, and a lot of that is moderation and balance. They're used moderately, balanced with the rest of the cast or with the character they're primarily spending time with. But since for most of the chapter she's your primary partner, that moderation isn't there. And there were so, so, SO many times I just wanted to hit her. I'm sure she's going to have a lot of fans, and there were parts about her that I enjoyed (usually when her behavior was more toned down and when she was not using Yuma's pain as humor), I know a lot of her actions are due to the mystery of the contract she made with Yuma and that will be revealed in time, but there were times where I wanted Yuma to just tell her to stop. And her talk about death and despair...... Yeah, as a Danganronpa fan, that's setting off a LOT of alarm bells. (I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this did turn out to secretly be a Danganronpa game given how she's being written so far).

If her overall character becomes more balanced or goes through well written growth, then my opinion will probably change, but as is, she's on the bottom of my list of characters I'm enjoying from this game.

Also, Yakou Furio is..... there. So yeah.

FINAL THOUGHTS (so far):

Between the characters we lost and the ones we still have and the rules of the Mystery Labyrinth, I'm really concerned about how the overall story is going to go. The game has a lot to do to earn back my trust after what happened to the first five detectives we met, and the writing is definitely going to need to pick up in ways that'll hook on the players who might consider putting this down after Chapter 0. The UI could have been better implemented and more accessable, and the future Labyrinths will need to really do something to justify their need to be included in the narrative going forward.

But the character designs, art, music, and Yuma alone make this game worth at least watching playthroughs of. And I do want to see Yuma's continued growth with the remaining detectives.

If you're a die-hard Danganronpa fan who just wants to have every part of Danganronpa Team's works in your collection, this game is worth a place there, I think. The Soundtrack especially is worth the price of the base game imo.

But if you're debating if you'll enjoy this game overall, I'd suggest waiting a couple of weeks for a more solid consensus before investing $60-$100.

As for Kakera's thoughts? Overall, I'm not mad. Just confused and disappointed.

[theskella]

That's New - An Exocolonist Fic

I recently played I Was a Teenage Exocolonist, and I absolutely adore it.

But there’s criminally little fic and content regarding my good good Squat Queen.

So I wrote a fic myself.

The punishingly dry air of Dust stings Sol’s near-sleepless eyes as he finally leaves his room, having abandoned making up for lost sleep. Groggy and stompy bootsteps bring him out to the overly-familiar sight of the multicoloured Vertumnan sky above, and the colony he has spent eons building and rebuilding from just off on the sidelines below. The noises of late morning activity on the farm serve to lightly annoy the tired teen. Is it too much to ask that I be allowed a restful sleep every now and then? He thought. I mean these folks owe me that much, surely. There were a few lifetimes that Sol bitterly considered how little credit he was allowed for managing so many lives, caring for the tapestry of the exocolonists' story here. Having staved off disaster after disaster, all without being believed that he was the weaver.

Familiarity breeds contempt. An old adage he despised crept its unwelcome way to Sol’s forebrain. There was another that Sol learned – from a cartoon, no less – that he’d often turn to to quiet the worming, malicious thought.

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

Sol looks over the railing to the colony. He’d subtly influenced so much to award himself this view, the greatest view of the colony, from where he could see all of his friends, and the infinite; though arduously realized, potentials they have. But chief among these, for this, the last, and so many other innumerable lifetimes, Sol’s eyes fall thus again to Nemmie. Her shock of vibrant red hair is easy to spot. Leading the jogging group of Helios, ahead even of Vace, a fact that – from its gilded frame in the hall of his most precious memories – reminds Sol that Vace seethes over. Sol chuckles, mentally viewing the thought, pondering over its fine-tuned aesthetic distance. When probed, Vace used to erroneously claim that it’s to ‘watch her go’, but Sol knows from thousands of lives that Nemmie is just naturally faster. Even he has struggled to keep up with her in their many foot-races from childhood to now.

Fortunately, Sol had already crested the hump, Nemmie had broken up with Vace a few weeks ago. This time an argument over having another man’s name tattooed on her arm lit the fuse. Nemmie’s stalwart defense of the personally important tattoo earned a terminal bout of silent treatment from which their already unhealthy relationship would not recover. Of course, Sol had to play a part. A part that once seemed difficult and uncomfortable; but with recitation and understanding of his motivation, he no longer felt or acknowledged that difficulty. Separating Nemmie from a woefully ill person in such a delicate time was the easiest of the boundless choices Sol makes.

Sol’s groggy waking movements begin to pick up as the still-overbearing heat of Dust bids his blood to pump. He passes Cal, pushing a heavily laden wheelbarrow outside Geoponics. Sol stops him from his work to hand him a Bobberfruit, clapping him on his unyielding shoulder.

“Man, Dust always makes me wish I had your augment!” Sol jokes as he repeatedly flaps the hem of his shirt to cool himself. Sol keeps up chit-chat until Cal idly bites into the fruit, letting Sol know that he’d devour it shortly. Despite his love of food, Cal’s dedication to work often has him skipping meals, a fact Sol has never quite been able to influence beyond joining Tammy in regularly putting food in his hands. As he jogs away letting Cal get back to it, Sol quickly pulls his holopalm up to update Tammy in the private chat they keep to let her know. A moment later she sends back two emotes, a sandwich, and the custom Tangent emote that Marz convinced Nomi to make as part of a set for all of them. Sol sends back a selfie: a single hand held in prayer in front of a bashful smile in thanks.

Next on Sol’s walk he passes Rex and Marz sitting casually on the steps up to Command. It’s always fun to try to get a reaction from the highly charismatic duo. Let’s see how they like this. Sol happily doffs his shirt with relief and enters their field of view, muscles aglow with beads of sweat, prompting a hearty, familiar and welcome howl from Rex. Marz soon joins in, similarly enjoying the show. Sol draws his hands up and down his rugged torso, mimicking some of the salacious videos Rex had shown him and Marz and taking more and more dramatic poses earning excited whoops and hollers. After wheeling around from flaunting his tush, the realization comes too late that Rex has advanced the bit and is racing toward him. It’s too late to brace and the collision brings the two young men to the ground, tumbling. All three laugh at the scene. From the ground for a brief moment, Dys can be seen peeking from over the hill the gate stands upon. Sol finds his eyes just long enough to convey a greeting in passing– Dys’ preferred morning interaction. Rex has gotten up and grips Sol’s forearm to pull him to his feet and brushes him off, cheekily spending more time than needed pawing at his body. 

“Sorry, can’t help but chase juicy pieces of meat.” Rex says with his wolfish grin, his eyes don’t make contact with Sol’s, choosing to linger elsewhere. The emphasis is a little too thick but that’s to be expected. Sol replaces his shirt, ruffles Rex’s piebald hair a bit and softly pushes his head back toward Marz. Looking to where she’s lounging on the stairs, Sol returns the smile and sultry wave she gives him as their eyes meet. Her attention turns back to Rex as he starts hustling toward her, before turning to give a goodbye wave to Sol with a huge smile on his face.

Moments later Nomi Nomi suddenly bursts into Sol’s’ vision in an eruption of shiny and colourful clothing, loud-but-lovely hair and inexhaustible energy.

“HEY SOL! Guess what! Guess guess guess!” They greet with far more energy than should be allowed this early.

Without even waiting for a guess they immediately launch into a story about a thread of comments that the stories they’ve been writing together are getting. People really seem to enjoy them, as Nomi all but squeals to him. 

“I can’t tell you how I know, but even some of the Helios kids are being nice!” Nomi pulls Sol’s sleeve to lower his ear to their face “I… snooped a little and they’re even writing fanfics based on our stories!” they say in a hushed, conspiratorial tone.

Sol encouragingly offers that perhaps the Helios aren’t as violent as they seem, and it’s a matter of perception that paints them as such. Nomi excitedly agrees and rushes off, yelling over their shoulder that they have a duty then, to encourage this creativity.

Gazing over to the Garrison shows the joggers are still running a few laps. I probably have some time then. He livens his pace a little toward the Engineering building. When he arrives he is happy to be greeted by Tangent and Tammy together in the hall. Tang is sat on the floor, busied by interfacing with her holo-eye, and taking breaks to chug from an energy drink. Tammy for her part is taking advantage of Tang’s hyperfocus to swap the energy drink for water, and keep a stream of idle chatter to distract her from the moments Tammy holds a sandwich half to Tang’s lips, prompting her to bite. Tammy catches Sol’s eye and gives a pronounced sarcastic eye roll and warm smile. Sol puts his hand to his heart and mouths ‘thank you’.

It didn’t take much to get Tammy to agree that Tang takes poor care of herself, but there was significant coaxing into convincing Tammy that Sol would help keep Cal fed if Tammy helped Tang in turn. Cal’s issue was in not stopping to eat, while Tang’s was thinking anything you eat would do for nutrition. Tammy’s significant culinary ability would be better spent keeping Tangent off of an all-protein bar diet. Tammy was reticent at first, knowing Tang’s past bitter refusal to be cared for. Sol did eventually convince her to give it a shot, saying that slowly but surely, Tang’s gotten over that attitude. As Sol approaches, he pings Tangent from his holopalm to ‘look up’. She does so, and is a little surprised by Tammy’s presence. Tammy reflexively stiffens, but Tangent is– however removed from the situation she may be– thankful for the food, and takes it from Tammy to continue eating. Tammy sighs in relief as she rises to her feet while being careful to keep the energy drink she’s protecting Tang from hidden behind her. The sweet girl places a gentle hand on Sol’s shoulder before excusing herself to the Creche.

“How are the tests for the modified pomoea batatas going?” Tangent asks, rapidly switching from tasks to attention to Sol.

“Things look good so far, they’re able to take to Vertumnan soil now. However, Cal let me know that they are also being singled out by an endemic fungus.” Tang curses under her breath as Sol speaks, clearly disappointed but in a way one could have expected.

Sol is mindful to mention “Cal thinks their enhanced nutritional load is prompting the targeted parasitism. You should talk to him about it, he’s really come into his own in terms of the science of farming.”

Tangent, quite without knowing it, pays Cal a compliment, “Yes, he has been helpful. I will do so.” It isn’t much, but Sol knows better than most to take careful measure of the words Tangent uses, she’s likely already considered their meaning 3 or 4 times before saying them.

Sol wishes her well as he leaves, watching over his shoulder to see Tang munching on the last bit of her sandwich with a surprising vim. It comes as a huge relief, she’s seemed much healthier overall, since Sol stood by her side against Lum’s push for a plague.

Sol exits the Engineering wing into the none-waned heat to see with shielded eyes the Garrison clearing out from the track. Nemmie is punching arms and waving goodbyes before she looks up and spots Sol, she exaggerates her waving to him in a way just familiar enough to when they were kids that it makes his chest flutter. A beat passes before Nemmie starts bouncing into a run toward him. He starts to bob along to meet her. Though, Sol notes, she’s gradually picking up the pace as she nears. Sol realizes then, this isn’t a run– it’s a charge! Ignited with a youthful flame, Sol sets his form like he used to when the Garrison was mostly an official excuse for him and Nemmie to rough-house. Before the fall of the Strato. Before the arrival of the Heliopause and before Vace made the entire space feel coarse and– ironically, alien.

Nemmie is approaching at a blitz, Sol looks for any sort of indication of the opening volley– a tackle? A flying kick? What’s her plan? The heavy footfalls Nemmie makes reach Sol’s ears now, his fingers twitch in anticipation. Nemmie is within 4 meters and his defensive posture stiffens, a stoic-looking Nemmie kicks off the ground, turning to the side and sailing through the air to deliver– nothing? She’s just flying toward– OH SHIT! Unsuspecting arms reach out to catch his friend, but the force is just a little too much and Sol is taken to the ground. Nemmie lands in a ball on top of him before bursting out laughing, a sound he hasn’t heard for far too long.

“You’re supposed to catch me null-head!” Nemmie’s eyes peer up from where her head rests on Sol’s chest, behind the tangled, beautifully chaotic mass of red curls that coil and tumble over his chest. The sight reminded him of more treasured memories, desperately and excitedly piecing together fractions of his wife’s face from behind those same curls, grown out and allowed to be wild once more. He forced his current-self to compose again, before things got inappropriate.

He fires back. “I was expecting you to hit me!”

She tosses her hair out of her face with the back of her hand, then presses into Sol’s chest to extricate herself. “You gotta be ready for anything, farmboy. Expect me to run this drill again.”

The smirk she wears now is knowing, Sol’s aware, she’s aware. Before leaving the Garrison, Sol outranked her– fair enough, he was intimately familiar with bolstering his performance– in fact thinking about it, even now she is one rank lower than he was, who is she to assign drills? She’s taunting him.

He’s not having it.

His fingers find Nemmie’s sides and rub, dig and grind prompting a flurry of jerky movements and fits of laughter. Despite all her training, Nemmie has always been ticklish. All the training did was make Sol have to work for it. The giggly girl desperately paws, punches and slaps away at the offensive, but to little avail. Soon Sol has pushed himself off the ground and over Nemmie, who is laughing and rolling about, fully at his mercy.

These dear, childhood friends carry this on for a few more moments, the less fun passerbys scoff and give a wide berth. Eventually Nemmie taps, completely robbed of breath and laying on her back to catch it. Sol is similarly posed beside her, relishing his best friend’s returning energy.

“Hey have you eaten?” He says, tapping his knuckles on her shoulder. “I’ve got Xeno Eggs at my place– Cal’s certain they’re for eating.”

Nemmie almost starts an excuse, Sol knows the tells. Her hand raises toward her head to run her fingers through her hair. But– it stops. Her hand is paused in the air. There’s a moment in Sol’s mind that feel’s… a bristling discomfort, almost a chill. Nemmie is up on her feet before Sol’s given a chance to dwell on it.

“That sounds great! I’m starving.” Nemmie reaches that same hand towards him. He cranes forward to reach for it, but Nemmie reels it back before his grip can find her, awkwardly spending Sol’s effort and making him look foolish. She’s back to laughing.

A classic Nemmie rug-pull. Her laughter plays like music in Sol’s ears as he grins and gets up on his own, playfully batting away renewed offers to help him up.

“But hey– I’ve gotta shower and change first, I’ve already worn these fatigues for a solid week, and I stink.” She says pulling at her collar and fanning her face in mock disgust. Sol hadn’t even noticed.

“It’s no big deal, You can shower at my place, and I think I still have a set of your sweats from last Wet. Clean, of course.” Sol offers up, not wanting to waste any of her time, he knows how dedicated she’s made herself to the Garrison.

The pair trek back, retracing Sol’s earlier walk until they arrive at his home. His parents are going to be working, so they essentially have free run. All the while through the walk, Nemmie is– at least by comparison to earlier this month, in high spirits. She asks about Sol’s expeditions, and how he’s doing with his photophoner practice. She’d gifted him that very same photophoner when they were kids, and he’s kept immaculate care of it since. Sol’s glad to talk about anything non-military with her. He’s surprised when passing Cal. Nemmie sends a small, brief wave back when Cal greets Sol. It apparently surprises Cal too, as he nods back at her with a quizzical look on his face.

Once inside, Nemmie beelines immediately to the shower. Calling back to Sol that she won’t be long and to just toss the sweats in when he gets the chance. Sol makes for the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients and supplies for omelettes from the fridge and preheating the pan. Swiftly, Sol retrieves the sweats that had indeed been left when Nemmie got caught in a bad rainstorm and sheltered here, wearing some yet-to-be-returned clothes of his to get back to the Garrison when there was a break in the rainfall.

Sol approaches the bathroom door, calling out “Delivery” before momentarily cracking the door and throwing in the clothes, then going out to the kitchen again.

Benefited by the lifetimes he’s spent helping in the cafeteria kitchens, it’s a trivial thing to prepare some Xeno omelettes. So his mind comfortably wanders as he moves on autopilot. Something’s been nagging at the very cusp of his mind since he felt that chill, but he can’t pin it down. He abandons the quest when he realizes he should ask Nemmie what cheese she wants, some colony kids take issue with floatcow cheese. He rounds the corner to the hall the bathroom door is in and is greeted with a Nemmie fresh out of the shower, just starting to pull the sweater down over her slick, rugged abs, freezing him in place.

“Oh, sorry!” Nemmie blushes, tugging the sweater down over her  “I rushed out when I smelled the food” she exclaims, trying to change the subject.

“Speaking of shredded; what kind of cheese would you like on your omelette?” Sol asks, holding the pan with the nearly cooked eggs inside. He punctuates with a teasing wink. She punches his arm in answer to this teasing when she walks over. 

“Floatcow’s fine. Stars, it really does smell fantastic in here. Lucky me– having a renowned cook-off champion as a best friend.” Nemmie boasts with a grin.

After finishing the omelettes with cheese and neatly folding them, Sol leads Nemmie into the den, choosing to eat on a comfy couch. The pair wordlessly adopt an arrangement they’ve had for a long time: sat facing each other, Sol cross-legged and reclined on the arm of the sofa and Nemmie laid out with the soles of her feet pressed against his stomach. Many cartoon marathons in the lounge of the Strato were enjoyed just like this. Between bites, Nemmie heaps praise on Sol for his cooking, and wishes she had the time to learn to cook like this. Sol offers to just cook for her and Nemmie lets out a singular laugh with her mouth full.

“Imagine, my own personal chef.” she says, a lilt of joking wistfulness in her voice before swallowing.

“Marz would be so jealous.” Sol points out before taking another forkfull. Something about Sol’s comment gives Nemmie pause, her eyes dart about and blink rapidly.

“Thank you, Sol.” Nemmie’s tone shifts, growing more serious as she continues, “I know that you put a lot of effort into making sure we’re all… just– thank you. You’re the best, most caring person on this planet. And I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Her foot idly presses and rubs against his stomach.

Sol places his plate on the coffee table and gently places his hands on Nemmie’s legs, warming toward answering her sudden candour, “Nemmie is everything alright?”

She smiles somberly. Her eyes are cast down on the empty plate she’s fiddling with. She takes a few breaths before saying “Yeah. Yeah, things are… better. I’m just–” she pauses. A long moment ticks by in the measure of her breathing before she finishes her thought.

“Everything made sense to me when I was with Vace–” she puts her hands out defensively in front of her and quickly covers– “I know, I know, he was awful. But things were easy. It’s hard to describe. It’s like, I was already angry and hurting, so Vace just felt like more of the same. I could deal with it, it was just part of the norm. And I’m happier now, but– without Vace I can see how lonely I was, how alone I made myself by tying myself up in his approval, and I’m… I’m scared that the person I was– who I let myself be when I was with him…”

Sol’s squeezes on her calf, trying to silently convey his empathy, to make it more tangible to her that he was listening. Nemmie’s feet swing suddenly over the edge of the couch, she spins to her knees sending her plate clattering to the ground and her falling toward Sol, catching him in a hug. 

Her eyes are welling up, and she sniffles into Sol’s chest before continuing to speak, though the words are laden with effort to keep her tears back. “I don’t want to be that lonely person,” she manages to squeak out in a whisper. Sol’s arms went around her in reflex, and tighten now as he’s clueing into what she’s trying to say. He hushes her. Letting her know it’s ok. He lets her breathe for a moment, comforting her until he can compose what he wants to say.

“Nemmie. Nothing could change so drastically that I– or any of us for that matter– would hate you,” She wetly sniffles some more, trembling but still holding tightly.

“We know who you are, and… as bad as things seemed sometimes, we knew that it wasn’t– that it’s not who you are,” his hand cups the back of her head, stroking her hair. “We were sad, and it hurt. But I promise that we love you. And it’s because we love you that it hurt to see you acting that way.” His own words are beginning to choke in his throat, but he tries to keep it together.

“How can you know?” her question is heavy with worry.

Sol can’t tell her. Not that she’d even believe him, that he’s already grown up with them countless times, and nothing has ever truly torn them apart. They’ve strained, frayed at the edges and shown wear and tear, but the tapestry remains beautiful– mending, patches and all.

“Because I know my friends. You’ll have to trust me.” Sol offers instead, though it’s not what he wishes he could say. 

She lifts her head up to look him in the eye, though his chest is no lighter for it. Tears have left trails down her freckled and scaled cheeks. Her eyes are puffy and red and searching his. The hug tightens on her subconsciously.

“I– I do,” her voice is steady now as she answers.

Then, quite brashly and without warning– Nemmie brings her lips to Sol’s. A moment cast in the haze of elation passes before Sol gently separates her from him.

“Nemmie wait–” he’s at once cursing himself and eagerly encouraging his next words– “you’re… you’re going through a lot right now. Are you sure– I mean, I don’t want you to…”

The faintest expression of doubt passes over the face of his best friend. Sol didn’t want her to jump into something like this out of stress. Wait–

“You’re right, I’m a wreck right now,” she starts softly and straightens herself up, pushing back off of him. Sol wants to disagree with her words, but she doesn’t give him a chance. “But you’re here for me. You’ve always been there, even when I thought I didn’t want you to be.” She starts out whispering, but she reaches her hand forward, her fingers barely graze against the arms that held her, and the quiet voice dissipates as she finds her confidence. And her hand gently but firmly grasps Sol’s wrist

“I’ve been thinking about this. You’re caring, you’re funny, I–” she takes a deep breath. “I don’t feel lonely with you. You’ve been my best friend for as long as we could walk. You’ve never once forgotten my birthday. I can talk to you about anything.” Her words fluctuate in volume and tone, it’s clear that she has thought about it, but the thoughts are coming out in a random priority.

It’s adorable.

“And– you make me feel safe.” She finally exhales.

Sol’s neck hair stands on end, as he finally catches that evasive, errant thought. Or rather it rockets toward him, a collision that shakes every corner of his consciousness.

“I– I’m in love with you, Sol.” Her brilliant, purple eyes lock with his, and he feels unable to breathe.

She’s never been the one to confess–

That’s new.

And that’s all for now. I want to continue writing this, but I felt like this was a good enough point to post a Part One.

comments in good faith welcome

[becausegoodbye]

A home to treasure, a home to flee

(**This post contains big-time spoilers for Citizen Sleeper and Life is Strange: True Colors. No way around it! **)

In the last year, I've had two experiences with video games that unearthed some interestingly divergent intuitions in me.

In one, the game let me make a precarious little home for myself, and even though it kept giving me opportunities to leave – it really seemed like it hoped I'd leave, to strike out somewhere in pursuit of a better life – I clung to the fragile little home I'd created, savouring its small earned pleasures.

In the other, the game gave me a home, aesthetically dazzling and too good to be true, with a hideous past which the game desperately wanted me to forgive and to stay – laying it on thick about how beautiful it would be if I stayed – and I found I couldn't flee fast enough.

It makes me wonder a bit about my relationship to home.

*

Citizen Sleeper is one of my favourite games I've played in a long time. It's quietly etched its place on the list I keep in my mind of "proper Hall of Fame indie games", along with Celeste and Immortality and at most a dozen others. It's a game whose ambitions are restrained, but the light touches of its writing are pretty much all paintbrush-perfect.

In it, you play a Sleeper, a degraded kind of worker-clone, carrying the emulated consciousness of a real person inside a crummy bio-android body that'll fall apart if it doesn't get regular injections of corporate-controlled medicine. Your entire existence is a method of skirting labour laws. You managed to escape your corporate labour-camp, but now you're on this random space station with no money or friends, and your biological meltdown-clock is ticking. Just gotta keep moving, keep working, keep trying to figure something out.

I won't give a full review of the mechanics and story; what I really want to talk about right now is the apartment. In Citizen Sleeper, you're always choosing how to allocate your limited time and energy, and if you want, you can choose to spend an irresponsible amount of both fixing up an abandoned apartment unit, using scrap metal to try to plug up the holes and make it livable. This is, frankly, the best thing. With how nightmarishly precarious every aspect of your existence as a runaway Sleeper is, just to be able to lay your head somewhere that's yours is blissful.

And then – most special of all – once you've fixed up the apartment, a stray cat will sometimes stop by, and you can spend some money to feed it some crushed-up crackers. The cat never becomes yours (it always maintains its independence, coming and going as it pleases), but you can know each other. You can become part of the weave of each other's lives. Even in this hostile capitalist hell-hole, even with a body constantly on the verge of betraying you: you can eat some delicious spiced fungus and have a cat stroke itself against your thighs. Things can be worth it.

As I got on top of my finances and found a steady source of medicine, I only found myself more and more attached to my apartment. Some missions take you right over the other side of the space station, and (because it can take ages to get back) the game frequently offers you places to crash that are much closer to where you need to be. I didn't use them once. Once I'd fixed up the unit, I slept every single subsequent night of the game there, even if it meant traveling a silly distance to get there and back. I wanted to get back because, first, it was my home, and second, I had to feed the stray cat. It might miss me if I were gone.

As you get further into Citizen Sleeper, the game offers you all sorts of ways to get off the station. You can work/cheat your way onto a huge colony ship that's set to begin populating a new and uninhabited planet. You can hitch a ride with a mercenary and start a more knowingly dangerous kind of life. You can fuse your consciousness with a cyber-organic plant-consciousness, 'Grow Vast and Strange', and lose your sense of a distinct self entirely.

I didn't go for any of them. I got my friends on board the colony ship and waved goodbye to them. I gave the mercenary the cold shoulder. I thanked the plant-consciousness profusely for the opportunity, but wistfully turned away from what it was offering. I kept choosing to return to my own small world on the station: to the apartment, to the stray, to Emphis' spiced fungus stand, to Lem & Mina & Tala & Riko, and to all the tiny meaningful markers of the life I'd built for myself here.

This was my life. I'd made it, and that meant everything.

*

Life is Strange: True Colors is a much weirder game, and one I'd recommend to far fewer people. I've written before about my complicated feelings about the Life is Strange series, which have a tendency to take huge emotional swings with subjects that they're not really mature enough to handle responsibly. That's part of their appeal, admittedly: these games absolutely go for it, and even when they stumble, it's usually pretty compelling.

In True Colors, you play as Alex Chen, a shy 21-year-old orphan with a kind of superpowered empathy. She can read people's thoughts a bit, sometimes even accessing their memories, and when somebody near her is experiencing a big emotion, she gets overwhelmed with a mirrored version of it. This got her branded as 'emotionally unstable' in the Oregon foster care system, so she struggled to be adopted. She lost touch with her older brother Gabe after he was placed with a different foster family, but eight years later, with his own life straightened out, Gabe was able to track her down, and invite her to come live with him in the idyllic little mountain town called Haven Springs.

I won't go beat-by-beat through the whole plot, because it's bonkers and byzantine, but the key points are these. (Again, full spoilers.) After Alex and Gabe's dad abandoned them when Alex was 11, he ended up working for a locally hegemonic mining company called Typhon in Haven Springs. Later, Gabe tried to track him down, and Haven Springs was where the trail went cold. This turns out to be because their dad died in a hideous mine collapse, along with several other miners. A local foreman named Jed Lucan got credited as a 'hero' for saving the miners who survived, but in reality he was the one who chose to abandon the others to their deaths, and Typhon conspired with him to cover it all up.

When Gabe came to Haven Springs looking for their dad, that same foreman, Jed, now the owner of a local bar, felt guilty about having left this kid fatherless, and treated Gabe with a lot of generosity. He set Gabe up with a job in his bar, let him rent the great loft apartment upstairs, and really just ensconced Gabe in Haven Springs life (obviously without telling him the murdery truth). Then, when Gabe is finally able to track down his little sister Alex, he wants to pass on the generosity, and offers you the loft. He’s moving in with his girlfriend, you and your brother are finally back in each other’s lives, and it all seems too good to be true.

It is. Almost immediately after arriving in town, Gabe is killed – by the very same mining corporation – while up in the mountains trying to rescue his girlfriend's kid. Typhon were told that there were people in the area and they needed to delay their blast, but they knowingly went ahead with it anyway, because (it turns out) they needed the noise to cover up a second, more illegal scheduled blast nearby. That second blast was to fully cave in the old mine and bury the evidence of the incident that killed Alex and Gabe's father, in preparation for a coming inspection that could have uncovered the deaths.

So essentially: your brother was murdered casually, incidentally, as part of covering up your dad's murder from years ago.

I'm delivering this information in a totally different order than the game does (there, the relevation that Jed let miners die and your dad was among them comes very late), but I'm laying it all out so you understand the chronology of events. Just lay it all out flat in your mind. You're Alex, and you find yourself living in this town that seems pretty wonderful – picturesque and warm, with an economy of little other than bars and flower shops and record stores – but you eventually discover that both your father and your brother have been murdered here. You also discover that the person who's been kindest to you, the surrogate father-figure who let you work in the bar and live in the loft virtually rent-free, is the evil fuck who killed your dad.

You do eventually empathy-detective your way to exposing all this, of course. By the end of the game, Jed is going to prison, and Typhon is facing the absurdly (but not unrealistically) softer consequences of 'their CEO resigning' and 'their stock price taking a hit'. But then – and this is the part I've needed to go over all this melodramatic plot in order to talk about – the game wants you to stay in Haven Springs.

Alex's final choice is whether to stay or leave. Somehow, you're still living in the loft of the murderer you put in jail, and it's implied that you can just keep doing that. The game gives you an option to leave – to go off on a scrappy music tour with your indie girlfriend Steph – but the game gilds the lily heavily in favour of staying. You have an entire conversation with an imaginary ghost-projection of Gabe, and he spins this whole fantasia about how wonderful your life could be if you simply stayed, let "time do its thing", and commit to transforming this place.

But like ... fuck that, right? Fuck that!!!

As far as I'm concerned, this is a "noping out of a horror movie" situation. By the end of True Colors, Haven Springs feels cursed. This tiny pretty town is where every existing member of your family was murdered. What, you're literally just gonna stick around limply hoping they won't murder you too? While the hegemonic mining corporation is still stalking around, knowing you did this to them?

Like, Alex. Dude. These white people are not safe. The Chens are seemingly the only Asian-American family in a hundred miles, and the track record of Chens not getting murdered by the biggest and most powerful local employer is bad. Sure, that one guy is in prison now, but the problem was never that one guy. Underneath this town is a seam of raw murder and lies and evil, and everyone being so saccharine-sweet to you all game long only makes that fact worse. You can’t escape your trauma, you can’t escape your brother and father having been killed, and you can’t escape the horrorshow of capitalism – but you surely don’t have to stay here.

It's hard to overstate how repulsed I felt by the prospect of staying in Haven Springs. While Citizen Sleeper had me taking pride in the modest, scrappy life I'd clawed out for myself in the margins, True Colors felt like the complete opposite. It felt like a series of overbearingly loaded gifts, all lush and pretty and tailor-made, but with a violent catch spring-loaded inside every pocket. It felt like the bashful smile of a poisoner offering you a drink. All of my instincts were to run.

*

Some day soon, I'm sure I'll be able to write a thing about videogames without tying it back to transness, but look – I'm two months on HRT. Right now everything feels connected with transitioning, and I'd be lying if I said the trans-relevance of this little parable didn't occur to me immediately.

My body is the home I was given, and I’ve always lived here uneasily. I’ve never known what to do with the ‘gifts’ that came with being read as a guy (most of them are still half-unwrapped in the back of my closet). Everyone wanted me to like it here, expected me to like it here – why wouldn’t you like it here? – but I just didn’t. A seam under the surface was wrong, and kept itching. I don’t want this to come across as a matter of pure contrarianism, but being real: the amount of contrarianism at work here probably isn’t zero. The world tried to give me a gender I’d like – a whole sweet-ass loft if you just ignore the murders – and I’m leaving. I’m off to make my own thing. And even if it’s objectively shittier in tons of ways, I’m confident I’ll like it more.

Between Citizen Sleeper and True Colors, my inescapable conclusion is: I would rather sit alone in this cold empty abandoned apartment than live in Haven Spring's paradise. I would rather chew fungus and scrape for corpo-medicine as a girl than be the beloved centre of a twinkling idyll as a guy. Haven Springs is so pristine and gorgeous, so flush with friends and flowers and foosball, but at a certain point you just can't unsee the seam of wrongness under everything. Whereas the kind of life you can build in Citizen Sleeper – the crummy apartment, the stray cat, all the friends you make and all the people who pass you by – feels infinitely stronger to me. Infinitely more earned. Infinitely more durable and darnable and real.

[somediyprojects]

Bleu de Saxe stitched by Edith. Pattern designed by Julia Line of Long Dog Samplers.

Today we have a tale of mystery and imagination. It's Edith's performance on a honkytonk tapestry needle of the solo "Bleu de Saxe" from <the book> which we will not mention again for the duration of this post. Anyone doing so will be thrown to the raven guard who are currently on latrine duty in the water meadow and consequently in a very bad mood. Well wouldn't you be?

This is only Edith's second Long Dog but already the creative fuse sticking out from behind her left ear has been well and truly lit and she's completely changed the border. Audacious little minx, you go girl.

Now, draw a bit closer because I want to whisper something to you which you mustn't repeat. I've been told that Edith's enchanted by strong diagonals and radiating tie-dyed linen. She kept that to herself didn't she, and she went to all sorts of places that would make your hair curl to source the perfect frame that played into this aesthetic.

You can move back now, I'm starting to feel a bit claustrophobic with you all so close. So, where was I? That's right, I was telling you a tale of mystery and imagination.

The mystery to me is how on earth did Edith manage to find her way so confidently on such super-dynamic linen? And Quill and The Great Colin simply can't imagine what she was drinking at the time but they want some.

Could it have been the fabled "Stingo Oblivion" of which only 100 gallons were ever brewed and which Quill has been searching for all his life? It's rumoured to be even rarer than a signed, first edition of the tome we're not going to mention even now.

—Julia Line, designer

[lovejustforaday]

2022 Year End List - #15

Teen S****de - Honeybee Table At The Butterfly Feast

Main Genres: Lo-Fi Indie Rock, Indie Folk

A decent sampling of: Post-Rock, Emo, Slowcore, Dream Pop, Neo-Psych, Noise Pop, Folktronica

WARNING: Too many potential triggers on this one to make a proper list. It's even in the band name (which I am uncomfortably ambivalent about). If you are going through a very rough time mentally, this could either comfort you or make things worse. Proceed at your own discretion.

So I decided to start off my 2022 year end list with a little bit of back story as to how I discovered the album which ended up placing at number 15. There’s a fair bit of context that I want to explain first, so buckle in.

I have been a big fan of the often underappreciated electro pop / synth pop / trance / chillwave rapper/singer Kitty for a few years now. The unlikely Tumblr girl who rose to semi-prominence as an ‘internet’ rapper  — before such a phenomenon became widespread thanks to soundcloud rap and the rise of music streaming services — has often been ahead of the curve when it comes to fusing pop and hip hop with very online aesthetics and sounds.

Kitty is also married to Sam Ray, a prolific artist who has been making music since at least 2009 as part of nearly a dozen solo projects and bands such as Ricky Eat Acid, American Pleasure Club, The Pom Poms, and of course Teen S****de (not the literal band name, but please bare with me as I try to get this review past the Tumblr and Instagram filters). As part of these projects, Ray has made music that ranges anywhere from indie folk to stuff like ambient, industrial, and even miami bass.

As I follow Kitty's instagram, I was made aware of Sam Ray's hospitalizations last year due to chronic respiratory problems. At one point, his condition was considered potentially life-threatening.

Fortunately, Sam is still alive and kicking. As you could imagine, the events of last year significantly impacted the music on this new record.

I myself had not listened to a full-length release from any of Sam Ray's musical projects up to this point. But I was inclined to check this one out, especially since the man had clearly gone through so much hardship to reach its completion. As an added bonus plus, Kitty also sings backing vocals on some of the tracks, so that’s pretty cool.

Upon listening, I have this to say: Honeybee Table At The Butterfly Feast is not an easy record. It is a folksy, watery, haphazard mishmash of three or more indie subgenres per song, with transient reflections from a man who has come very close to death on (as it turns out) more than one occasion. It is a collection of songs that are tenderly pessimistic, at times embracing something more like a nihilistic bliss (From "complaining in dreams" : "Everything is everything is everything is nothing / And when they finally kill me, I hope at least they make it funny").

Dropping another disclaimer right here: this album is not at all congruent with where I personally am in my life right now. All things considered, I have had a pretty good 2022 (and 2021 for that matter). I am mostly past the messy depressive/anxious episodes that rocked my life in waves between the years of 2017 and 2019, and I have a modestly comforting sense of security in where I am right now with my life.

And yet, this still resonates with me emotionally. I may be far in my current state from sharing the grim outlook that this record maintains almost religiously, but like most good music, it manages to transcend whatever my current mood is and make me feel its affecting pulse in a way that resonates. Several of the songs in particular managed to not only resonate, but access deeper pockets of the emotional faculties in my mind.

“get high, breathe underwater (#3)” is a mesmerizing lament of neo-psychedelic piano folktronica. The piano riff floats somewhere above and around the listener while remaining mostly static, sustained in an awkward stasis that mirrors lyrics describing the feeling of being completely stuck in one’s life position.

“new strategies for telemarketing through precognitive dreams”, apart from maybe being the best song title of the year, is also another major highlight, with compressed lo-fi indie guitars churning and decaying into wounded howls.

The album peaks with "coyote (2015-2021)", a long instrumental trek of slowcore-post-rock through a forest of once-forgotten memories. I imagine myself growing very old over the course of the song, years of life becoming mere footnotes and chapters that are part of a longer story, where I’m the protagonist nearing the end of a tragic young adult romance novel.

“complaining in dreams” is a dreamy lo-fi lullaby, musically not unlike something by The Radio Dept. This one has a particularly defeatist attitude towards the future of humanity, but the words are expressed in a manner so leisurely and whisper-soft that it’s as if these musings are the typical end-of-day thoughts passing through your head right as you fall asleep, only hoping to wake up in some universe completely different from our own current version of reality.

I have to say that not all of this stimulates me musically as consistently and successfully as it manages to resonate with me emotionally. Sometimes I feel like Teen S****de are bringing new ideas and breathing new life into the well-established tradition of ‘slow sad indie with folk guitars and noisy lo-fi’, while other times it feels like this record is paying a lot of homage to those artists in a similar vein that came long before this record, such as The Microphones.

Still, I simply had to include this record on my 2022 list, even if it was a pretty darn close choice for number 15 between this and at least three or four other albums that I ended up omitting. At the end of the day, this one formed a stronger connection with me than those other records. Honeybee Table At The Butterfly Feast is an album meant to be appreciated by the deepest recesses of the right side of your brain, marked with murky paintings of the adult imagination and overflowing with profoundly uneasy sentiments needing to be felt as much as they are heard.

8/10

Highlights: “coyote (2015-2021)”, “get high, breathe underwater (#3)”, “new strategies for telemarketing through precognitive dreams”, “death wish”, “complaining in dreams”, “you were my star”

[mycomicbox]

Random Thoughts on Persona 5 Royal - Part 4

[Progress: November 20th, 6th Palace conquered, first Bad Ending viewed]

<<< Part 3

Y'know, sometimes, I worry that my comments on this game are just meaningless fluff, but then again, these are my Random Thoughts, not a profound literary analysis.

After seeing this unused design, I am ITCHING to design a female protagonist for Persona 5 (à la Persona 3 Portable), but I want to finish the game before then, so that I have full context. I already have a pretty clear design for her in my head.

Cool how the Akihabara crane game plays the Junes Theme from Persona 4. My headcanon is that Junes and the crane machine have the same parent company.

I forgot to mention this earlier, but Elizabeth Maxwell did a fantastic job voicing Sae Niijima.

Network Fusion is fun... and game-breaking. I managed to fuse a Parvati with Thunder Reign, Wild Thunder, Victory Cry, and the Bargain Bolts trait.

One thing I noticed back during the Okumura arc: if you talk to Chihaya during that part of the game, she'll mention that the Empress card kept coming up during her readings, foreshadowing Haru joining the Phantom Thieves.

Sojiro was surprisingly chill with finding out the protagonist's secret. He'd make an awesome Phantom Thief. I might draw that...

That's... a lot of eyeliner, ma'am.

As much as I refuse to step foot into a casino IRL, I love the aesthetic of casino-themed levels/areas/characters in video games. Other examples I can think of are that one level in Kirby: Planet Robobot, or the Gambler job from Bravely Default II.

Now with proper context, the scene with the protagonist getting beat up in a cell has a lot more weight behind it than at the start of the game. I physically winced.

...

And now, we've caught up with the present. Here I lie, on the floor of this interrogation room... six feet under.

I sold out my friends to save my own hide, and even then, it was for naught.

I've failed.

I'm sorry, everyone...

If only I had shown her the smartphone...

...

⚡️ Confidant Lightning Round

I've heard that the Priestess Confidant is, narratively, one of the weaker S-Links/Confidants in the series, and... yeah, I have to agree. It's not terrible, but I feel as though Makoto wasn't really the star of the show in her own Confidant. And on top of that, her awakened Persona isn't a motorcycle anymore!? Cringe. (I still like Makoto, though.)

It's narratively fitting that I maxed out the Priestess Confidant right before the fight with Shadow Sae.

Great vegetables.

Rank 7 of the Hierophant Confidant really helps explain why Sojiro was so tough on the protagonist near the beginning of the game: he was projecting his own feelings of having to stay in line. Throughout modern Persona, this Arcana has pretty consistently good writing.

What the hell is Akechi's problem!? Then again, I guess I'm going to find out soon.

Futaba's Rank 10 was really heartwarming, especially in conjunction with Sojiro's Confidant. Though, I'm going to miss her initial Persona's design...

To see Chihaya go from scamming people, to taking responsibility for her actions, to weaving her own fate... it's really something. (If you're curious as to who I romanced, it's her. She's too cute.)

The maid cafe scene with the Warden Twins got a chuckle out of me.

I've always been particularly interested by the Social Links/Confidants involving those younger than the protagonist (such as Maiko, Nanako, and now Shinya). I think it's because kids generally have a more limited worldview, and as such, don't have the same tools to navigate their issues that teens and adults have.

If Mishima was a real person, he'd be like one of those people who annoys me, but I wouldn't have the heart to tell him that he annoys me. Granted, I think he gets too much hate as a character: his whole endgame is dealing with both his sense of entitlement and his lack of self-worth (with both issues being connected).

[toothcareguide]

Exploring Affordable Dental Implants: Options Available in Your Local Area

Dental implants have become a popular and effective solution for individuals seeking a permanent remedy for missing teeth. While the benefits of dental implants are undeniable, the cost associated with the procedure can be a significant concern for many. However, in today's diverse and competitive healthcare landscape, various affordable options are available for individuals seeking dental implants, even in your local area. In this article, we will explore these options, with a specific focus on Dental Implants in Hamilton and the services offered by local dentist offices.

Understanding Dental Implants

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Affordability Concerns

The cost of dental implants can vary based on several factors, including the number of implants needed, the type of prosthetic used, and the specific dental clinic. Many people assume that dental implants are prohibitively expensive, leading them to explore more cost-effective options such as dentures or bridges. However, it's crucial to recognize that dental implants offer long-term benefits, making them a wise investment in one's oral health.

Options for Affordable Dental Implants in Hamilton

Public Dental Clinics: Many communities have public dental clinics that offer affordable dental services, including dental implants. These clinics are often subsidized by the government and are committed to providing accessible oral healthcare. Residents of Hamilton can explore public dental clinics in the area to inquire about affordable dental implant options.

University Dental Schools: Dental schools affiliated with universities often provide discounted dental services, as they allow dental students to gain practical experience under the supervision of experienced professionals. Contacting the dental school in Hamilton can be a viable option for individuals seeking affordable dental implants.

Community Health Centers: Community health centers often offer dental services at reduced costs, making them an excellent resource for those looking for affordable dental implants. These centers focus on serving the local community and may have partnerships with dental professionals who provide implant services at lower rates.

Dental Discount Plans: Dental discount plans are subscription-based programs that offer reduced fees on various dental procedures, including implants. While not insurance, these plans can be a cost-effective way to access affordable dental care. Individuals in Hamilton can explore dental discount plans available in the area.

Payment Plans and Financing: Many dental offices, including those in Hamilton, offer flexible payment plans and financing options for dental implant procedures. These arrangements allow patients to spread the cost of treatment over time, making it more manageable for those on a budget.

Local Dentist Offices Offering Affordable Dental Implants

Beyond specialized clinics, local dentist offices in Hamilton also play a crucial role in providing affordable dental implant options. Dentists who focus on restorative dentistry often offer implant services with competitive pricing compared to larger clinics. Scheduling consultations with local dentists allows individuals to discuss their unique needs, assess potential costs, and explore financing options tailored to their budget and preferences. These personalized consultations can provide valuable insights and help individuals make informed decisions about their dental implant journey.

Final Words

Moreover, individuals in Hamilton should not hesitate to inquire about any ongoing promotions or discounted packages that local dental offices may offer. Dentists are increasingly aware of the financial concerns patients face and may have special arrangements to make dental implants more accessible. Exploring online reviews and testimonials can also provide insights into the experiences of others who have undergone dental implant procedures in the area.

It's essential to recognize that the benefits of dental implants extend beyond aesthetics. These implants enhance chewing functionality, prevent bone loss, and contribute to overall oral health. Choosing a reputable Dentist Office in Hamilton ensures that individuals receive not only affordable dental implants but also quality care from experienced professionals.

In conclusion, the pursuit of affordable dental implants in Hamilton should be a proactive and informed process. By leveraging the various options available, considering financing alternatives, and prioritizing long-term oral health, individuals can embark on a journey towards a confident and healthy smile without compromising their financial well-being.