#i have literally been the only one there for them then the second i say i feel under appreciated it’s suddenly “i’ve actually been feeling

[gloomwitchwrites]

For call of duty, can you write how 141 would react to you coming home after being announced KIA?

Love your work btw ❤️❤️

Not gonna lie, anon, but I genuinely read this as us reacting to the 141 coming home after being announced KIA, not them reacting to us coming home. I literally dumped everything I had planned and redid it because I missed that ONE word. (oops). Still, it's an emotional one. Your tears fuel me. :)

For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE

Task Force 141 x Task Force 141!f!Reader

Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): angst, reunions, fluff, kissing, secret relationship, established relationship, grief/loss, swearing, mild humor, suggestive themes, mild sexual content

Word Count: 2k

ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

John Price

Reality isn’t fair. It’s not kind or forgiving.

A week gone and John is simply floating, going through the motions, simply existing. This is why you don’t date military while in the military. It’s shit like this. It’s being told the person you love is fucking dead and now you’re the one left to pick up the pieces.

There wasn’t even a body. Vaporized is what they told him. Instant and painless. You felt nothing. It’s a small comfort, but John would rather have you in his arms than knowing you’re nothing more than atoms.

He sighs, and then puffs on his cigar. Smoke curls around him. It’s all quiet on base. Everyone is gone other than the routine patrol. John sits alone in his office, looking for files for an upcoming mission.

There’s a soft knock on is office door.

“Come in,” he says, not knowing who it might be but it must be important for it to be this late.

The door clicks and then creaks as it opens. John glances up, the cigar halfway to his mouth before the world around him completely stutters to a halt.

A phantom—a vaporized phantom—stands just inside, one hand on the doorknob. You are unharmed—clean. No scratches or wounds that John can see and wearing civilian clothing.

John is already standing, already moving, unable to resist the urge to remain in his chair and write this all off as a delusion. The cigar is forgotten, probably burning a hole in the wood of his desk. You match the forward momentum, shutting the office door, reaching out to him. When his arms go around you, and pull you in, John realizes that this is not an illusion. You are real and alive and here.

“You’re dead,” he murmurs, disbelief in his tone.

“I know. And I’m so sorry. It wasn’t—”

John grasps the back of your neck in a harsh hold, pulling you in for a kiss. He silences your voice, only needing your warmth and taste. You melt for him perfectly, answering the kisses with your own. With a gruff groan, John presses you up against the closed door.

“John,” you mumble, pulling back slightly.

“How are you here?”

“I’m sorry. We had to. It was the only way to extract me safely.”

John presses his forehead to yours, breathing you in. “Never again. Promise me.”

“Promise, John.”

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

One. Two. Three.

The seconds tick by, and still, Kyle refuses to move. For the last two weeks, Kyle has been cold and distant, sitting in the recliner in the corner of the living room.

He doesn’t read, doesn’t return the numerous missed calls and text messages, and he doesn’t turn on the television. He just sits, staring off into space, unable to figure out where his life will go next.

Why you? Why are you gone and not him?

It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair. You should be alive and whole and happy. You should be home, wrapped in Kyle’s arms.

Kyle sighs, running his hands over his face. An overwhelming wave of grief bubbles up, threatening to rip a sob from him. Leaning forward, Kyle rests his elbows on his knees, cradling his face in his hands. He takes a deep, shuddering breath. The wave crashes against his resolve, eroding some of the numbness.

The coffin is empty. No body to bury. He still hasn’t contacted your family. He can’t do it. Can’t face them. That fact that he is here and you are not is a failure on his part. Kyle promised that he’d look after you, and now you’re gone.

Around him, the air stirs—shifts. Kyle rubs at his face, sudden awareness slipping in. There’s an anticipation in it—a tension.

“Kyle.”

That voice. He knows that voice.

Shaking his head, Kyle keeps his face covered, his breathing becoming ragged.

“You’re not real,” he gasps.

Phantom fingers lightly brush across the back of palm, traveling to his wrist. Another set join them, and two warm hands gently wrap around his wrists. They tug, and Kyle surrenders, glancing up at the delusion his consciousness is creating.

Your smile is a beacon in the dark. It is everything he’s dreamed up these aching days, only wanting to see you again. And this is no dream, this is the waking world—reality. Somehow, you are standing before him, grasping his wrists, smiling down at him with such happiness that Kyle doesn’t entirely understand how this could be possible.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Kyle.”

He’s standing, wrapping you up in his arms. There is no mistake. You are here. You are here.

Kyle murmurs your name over and over again like a mantra. He touches you everywhere, needing to know that every inch of you is real and not a figment of his imagination. You curl against him, tears forming, threatening to fall and stain your cheeks. Kyle kisses them away, grasping the sides of your face to steal your breath.

You melt beneath him, and Kyle’s only desire is to keep you near him, to relearn your every moan and whisper. He can get answers later. Later. Right now, you are here, you have returned to him, and that is enough.

John "Soap" MacTavish

Johnny made the choice, and now he has to live with the consequences.

It’s his own fault for caring about you, for deciding that you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He should have found a civilian. That way they’d be mourning him and not him mourning you.

Three months and the missive still burns a hole in his chest. It’s folded up nicely, faded and worn from him unfolding and refolding it, tucked into an inside pocket beneath his bulletproof vest. It’s right over his heart. Right where you should be. Right where you belong.

The missive doesn’t belong to Johnny. It’s addressed to Captain Price, but the man handed it over to him, because he knew—even though Johnny did his best to hide it. He didn’t want to share what he had with you with anyone. That was just for the two of you.

“You all right, Soap?”

Simon’s voice cuts through the static.

“I’m aces, Lt. Don’t worry about me.”

The words feel false on Johnny’s tongue. He hates lying—but he especially hates lying to Simon.

Even behind the balaclava, Johnny can sense Simon’s frown. But the big bloke says nothing, appearing content with his answer.

“Price wants you in Conference Room B.”

“Now?” asks Johnny. “We’re supposed to transfer out in a few.”

Simon shrugs. “He didn’t say much. Just said he needed to talk to you before we leave.”

Johnny sighs but he goes, patting Simon’s arm before jogging to one of the main buildings. It’s inconvenient—and Price could have just met him on the fucking tarmac.

“What do you need, Captain?” says Johnny, pushing open the door.

Captain Price stands just inside the doorway. And he’s not alone.

At first, Johnny doesn’t understand. It’s like all but one singular bulb has been extinguished, the remaining light illuminating the one ghost in the room. Because that’s what you are. A ghost. Unreal and ethereal. Not reality at all but a simple hope in the back of Johnny’s mind that has finally blossomed into delusion.

“Soap.” Price’s voice is gruff. He sighs and then takes a step away from you. “I’ll leave the two of you to it.”

He brushes past Johnny, lightly squeezing his shoulder as he makes his exit.

And Johnny does not move. He stands in the doorway like a bloody git, unable to understand how you’re standing before him.

You’re dead. You’re supposed to be dead.

Your smile is hesitant at first, your movements even more so. It’s a tentative walk to him, and you don’t touch, you only gaze at him, eagerness and hope in your eyes.

“Johnny,” you breathe, and he knows that voice.

So crisp and clear and real.

Johnny reaches out, and pinches. He pinches your arms, your waist, your cheeks.

“Ow,” you laugh. “What the hell?”

You are not cold, but warm. Solid.

Johnny laughs in disbelief. “Had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.”

Your arms go around him and suddenly, like a firework bursting with color, Johnny is happy and whole.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Simon shuts the front door and frowns.

Whenever Simon comes home, Bravo always greets him. The all-black German Shepherd is a singular ball of energy, turning in quick circles and tap tap tapping his paws against the hardwood in anticipation of back scratches and belly rubs.

For the past week, Bravo’s presence has been the one bright thing, the only bit of happiness keeping Simon going. The rest of it was snatched from him, torn apart and shattered, scattered to the wind. The letter is tucked inside the drawer of the bedside table. He only read it once. And once was enough.

You are dead. That’s what the letter says anyway. And it infuriates him more than anything. Every mission you’ve ever been on has been with Simon. Except this last one. And on this last one, you did not come home.

“Bravo!” shouts Simon, dropping his keys in the designated spot next to the front door.

Removing his coat, he hangs it up, and then kicks off his sneakers. Sighing loudly, Simon heads down the hall but Bravo does not emerge. Simon pokes his head into the living room and finds no dog. Kitchen, and still nothing. He even checks the backyard. No Bravo.

As Simon turns into the bedroom, he comes to an abrupt halt.

There’s Bravo on the bed, and sitting on the edge—

“You—”

You hold the letter in your hands, attention turning to Simon as he enters. Standing quickly, you extend the arm holding the letter while you bring a singular finger to your lips, implying silence.

Simon’s stomach flips, and then twists quickly. He moves across the room a couple strides, grasping your waist and pulling you close. He says nothing, only searching your face as you keep that finger pressed to your lips.

You flip the letter over to the blank side.

Compromised.

Everything clicks into place. Either you faked your death or someone lied.

Simon cups the side of your face as you drop your finger away from your lips. His mouth replaces, tasting and seeking, wanting to remember. You open for him, accepting it all. His hands tighten on your waist and it takes every ounce of Simon’s control to not throw you onto the bed and rut like an untamed beast.

But he does refrain.

Simon has the car loaded and the alarm system armed in ten minutes. Even on the road, Simon doesn’t speak. He’s not sure if he can. All he does is keep his hand on your thigh, squeezing tightly, attempting to ground himself and keep his focus on the road.

At the safehouse, Bravo takes off, running through the tall grass as you and Simon enter the barn through a small side door. The moment the bags are dropped onto the floor, Simon is on you, fisting your clothes, tugging at them in a need to seem them gone.

“Simon,” you groan against his mouth.

He wants answers. He needs to know what happened. But reconnecting with you is far more urgent.

“After,” he begs. “Please.”

You nod, understanding.

The two of shed your clothes quickly, falling onto the sofa in a tangled heap. Simon’s hand delves between, fingers finding your arousal. You’re ready for him—just as eager as he his. He makes no gentle effort, just a quick thrusts until he’s in to the hilt. Your brief gasp is swallowed up by his mouth, tongue delving inside for a taste as he starts to thrust.

This is what he needs. More than anything.

Talking can come after.

taglist:

@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath

@ferns-fics @tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus

@beebeechaos @smileykiddie08 @whisperwispxx @chaostwinsofdestruction @weasleytwins-41

@saoirse06 @unhinged-reader-36 @ravenpoe67 @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat

@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim

@voids-universe @iloveslasher @talooolaaloolla @sadlonelybagel @haven-1307

@itsberrydreemurstuff @cod-z @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @blackhawkfanatic

@sammysinger04 @kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld

@keiva1000 @jackrabbitem @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez @waves-against-a-cliff

@ash-tarte @marispunk @gingergirl06 @certainlygay @greeniegreengreen

[piece-of-pierce]

Danny’s certain that, at this point, he’s tried using almost every abandoned building in the city as a base of operations. This is possibly the longest he’s ever been stuck in another dimension, except for the first time (and the Stone Age dimension), and he’s getting sick of it. If these costumed weirdos stop him one more time, he might have to start fighting back!

Two days later, he officially goes on the offensive. There’s just enough latent ecto in the city for him to maintain invisibility and intangibility, so he can avoid being spotted on any cameras or imaging tech (that he’s encountered so far.) So, he does the only thing he can think of.

He looks for a place the costume kids (and man) won’t be able to reach him. Literally. Are there any buildings with big enough gaps between the walls? No, nope, nada, nice try, didn’t mean to see that, no, no, no again, maybe?… also no, oooh. One of the issues was how loud his tinkering could be. If he was surrounded by moving gears and cogs like, say, in a clock tower, maybe that could work. It’s flashier than he likes, but he’s running out of options here!

Danny slipped through the clock face, purposefully flying further in to get past the gears that… weren’t there? Why didn’t he go through more stuff? Was this a whole-ass room? Danny let his feet touch down, staying invisible as he slowly took in the space. Did someone else beat him to it?

As soon as he saw something bright and electric, a computer screen?, a blur of and black and yellow filled his vision. Then, everything went dark.

-=o0o=-

Barbara turned her chair when Black Bat darted back, just in time to watch the younger woman throw a careful hit at… nothing?

No. The hit landed and, moments later, Barbara heard a thump and saw a young man lying on the ground where, apparently, he’d been invisible.

“Steps,” Black Bat answered the silent question. She’d heard him. “Assassin,” she said, pointing at his face.

Barbara wheeled closer to get a view and, just as Cass said, this was the LoA member who’d been giving them trouble for over a month. No wonder he’d been so annoying. They’d been operating on the assumption that the LoA didn’t allow Metas.

“Tie him up and make sure he’s out. I’ll call B.”

-=o0o=-

Danny’s head was killing him! Ancients! Did Skulker body-slam him or something? Danny opened his eyes and remembered that, no, Skulker couldn’t body slam him from another dimension. Damn. Those were a good few seconds where he though he was home.

Looking at the empty, concrete block he was in, this was definitely not home. Maybe it could look like his parents’ lab, if the concrete was replaced with metal and the room was full of shelves and tables and various experiments. Man, if only it was the lab. Then there’s be a portal he could use.

Or, well, he could use it if he wasn’t tied to this metal chair, which, man, there was like no give on these restraints. Was the chair welded to the ground, too? Okay, the ground was metal, at least, so that’s one thing that made this more like the lab.

Before Danny could weigh the pros and cons of slipping out of the ropes (the many, many ropes, holy shit), heavy footsteps approached him from behind. He twisted his head enough to watch a man nearly his dad’s size wearing a black costume with a cape and horned hood walk in and stop in front of where Danny sat.

It was the man. The leader of the weirdos.

“Doth thee und'rstand me?” His words may have been something Mr. Lancer probably had wet dreams about, but the guy had a Brooklyn(?) accent. Definitely east coast. It’s in that area. Either way, he sounded kinda stupid.

“Doth you have to be so formal? This isn’t exactly a black tie event. At least, I hope that’s not what you wear to funerals.”

“Thee shall answ'r mine own questions without query. Und'rstood?” Ohhh, was this an interrogation?

“Yeah, sure.” Danny could answer questions. At least the weirdo had finally gotten to the second half of ‘punch first, ask questions later.’

“Thee shall answ'r mine own questions truthfully. Any attempts at dishonesty 'r misdirection shall beest did recognize. Doth thee und'rstand?”

“Geez, yeah, I get it. You’ll punch me if I lie.”

“Do thee w'rk f'r the League of Assassins?”

“No?” The man growled, which, rude, living people didn’t usually do that. “No, I’ve never even heard of them.”

“Thee speak their tongue.”

“Do I?” Danny considered some of his other inter dimensional travels. “Ohhhh, shit. No, dude, I’m not a member of whoever that is. I learned the language somewhere else.”

“Their dialect is exclusive to their 'rganization. Doth not speak falsehoods to me again.”

“I’m not lying. I-“ Danny was promptly interrupted by a punch in the back of his head, immediately followed by someone grabbing his hair from behind and something sharp pressing against his throat.

“Traitor!”

“Woah! Ow! Hey! This has to be a misunderstanding! Is that a knife?!” Danny was very, very close to exposing his intangibility, chance to communicate be damned.

“Thee speak mine own mother’s tongue yet claimeth not to beest in league with h'r! Thee claimeth not to beest one of h'r owneth! One of mine owneth! Thee art a coystrill and a coward and thee shall beest punished as such!”

“I only understood, like, half of that. Please don’t slit my throat. I kinda like breathing.” Speaking of breathing, Danny was doing a lot more of it. Was he hyperventilating?

The man spoke to whoever was behind Danny in their language, gibberish with a Jersey(?) accent. The knife-holder responded in the same language, but his accent was notably different than the man’s. He must not have grown up around here. Danny couldn’t quite place it, though. It was maybe a bit southern? Or kinda pirate-ish?

The knife pulled away, the hand in his hair doing the same, and a young boy stepped out from behind Danny to stand next to the man.

“Seriously? I was being threatened by a middle schooler? He’s like, 12.”

“12?! I am good now 15 ages!”

“Seriously? You’re only two years younger then me? But you’re such a twerp.”

The man quickly grabbed the twerp by the back of his neck, scruffing him like a kitten before talking to Danny again. “What doth thee wisheth to accomplisheth h're?”

“Uh, I wanna leave? I’ve just been trying to go home, man.” Man scowled. Twerp clicked his tongue. “I’m serious! I- look, I don’t usually tell people this part but nobody’s actually managed to kidnap and interrogate me, so we’re just gonna stay on the crazy train! I’m from another dimension. I’ve been trying to build a portal home but you,” Danny pointed at the pair, “keep messing up all my hard work and getting in my way.”

Danny saw the man’s eyes squint a little, but was quickly distracted by the twerp snapping at his hand. Oh, shit, right, he’s supposed to be restrained.

“Uh… sorry? I’m not a big fan of the whole tangible thing.”

“Another… dimension?” The man was still holding back the twerp, sounding out the word ‘dimension’ like he didn’t understand it. Actually, considering this obviously isn’t his first language and they talk like long-dead people, he might not.

“Yeah, or a… another timeline? Universe? Reality?” Ooh, there’s some recognition! “Another reality! Another world! Another Earth! I’m not speaking assassin, I’m speaking my English. I only want to go home.”

The man and twerp muttered to each other in their own tongue for a minute, leaving Danny to rest his elbows on his knees. He’d already exposed this power, he might as well sit more comfortably.

“How didst thee locateth the Oracle?”

“You’re gonna have to give me more on that. I don’t know of any oracle. Is that a thing? Did I steal it?”

“Our inf'rmant.”

“Informant?” What on earth..? “Oh, the giant computer? In the clock tower!” The man grunted. It wasn’t a growl, so Danny was probably right. “That was a total accident. I was looking for a new place to build my portal. Nobody would notice me building if I’m in a clock that covers the sound, right?”

“So thy only goal is to buildeth a transporter and wend home?”

“Yes! See, we could’ve done this a month ago, but you wanted to punch first, ask questions later.” Danny leaned back with a grin.

The man and twerp looked at each other for a moment. “Couldst thee maketh a blueprint of thy machine?”

“Make one? Buddy, I’ve got one!” Danny reached into his chest and pulled out the water-proof bag he kept tucked under his left lung. What, he didn’t need to breathe as much anyway, he was fine losing a little air capacity! Danny opened the bag and pulled out the usb that said ‘c.o.d’ on it. “This bad boy has the full, detailed explanation of how to make the portal and what it’s supposed to do. It even has substitutions in case I end up somewhere that doesn’t have necessary components! I once managed to get home from the Stone Age.” He passed over the usb, happy to let the man take it. That was one of 10 copies, 3 more of which were stored in his body at that moment, so it wasn’t too much of a loss. It was also the easiest to get out. Usb number 3 would hopefully never be needed.

Danny stuffed the bag back in his chest, using two hands this time so he could lodge it in their properly. “If you’re willing to help me with that so I’ll finally be out of your hair, I’d be real grateful. You owe me, anyway, you destroyed like 20 attempts.”

The man and twerp studied the usb and Danny, respectively, before the twerp took the usb and left. The man stared at Danny, somehow less imposing on his own. “Thee stayeth h're. We shall returneth.” With that, he walked out the metal door that Danny could now turn his body to look at. There was also a mirror next to the door, so it had to be a classic interrogation room with a one-way mirror, right?

Danny wondered who was on the other side.

Whatever, he could hang out in the concrete box a little more. At least they stopped trying to punch him!

Step 1: Get stuck in another dimension. Step 2: build a portal back to the Ghost Zone. Step 3: Leave.

Danny's got it down to a science at this point. It barely takes him a week to get back home. (Except for the time the dimension he landed in was in the stone age, but we don't talk about that.)

Step 1 was easy enough, if involuntary. Now, step 2 is where it's all going wrong.

This dimension's language isn't one he speaks. That's fine, maybe adds a day or two to the search for parts, but the main problem is the people dressed in Halloween costumes, speaking like they're from a Shakespearean play who always find him and wreck his portal.

And it's not like he can just move to a different city, this one's soaked in ectoplasm. He'd have to spend a pretty fair amount of time searching for another place as saturated as this one.

Meanwhile, the Bats are not having a good time. Some League or League-adjacent member speaking a barely intelligible form of the League dialect keeps attempting to build some sort of weapon in Gotham, and refuses all communication in English.

(AKA: Danny is stuck in another dimension where his English is their League dialect. He just wants to go home now, please.)

[abbyslovergirlxo]

Same Damn Time

Caitlyn Kiramman x Reader x Ambessa Medarda

tw; Dom!Ambessa, Dom!Caitlyn, sub!reader, rough sex but they’re not so mean towards the end, wlw, sadism (cait/bessa), choking, slapping (everywhere lol), knife usage, blood kink??,masochism (you🫵) , crying, reader has a mouth on her and then folds (typical😒), idk why i made cait psychotic but oh well, oral, degradation, crumbs of praise lmao,

Word count: 7.8k

… = time skip

a/n; whewww! like what can I even say, this fic is crazy asl. Like I actually think they’re gonna bring back stoning people just for this. Lowkey deserved. But I know there’s someone out there who’s gonna match my freak 😭 i had tooo much fun writing this while listening to the song, made me think of them 😩lots of tw!! so plz read that before scrolling!!! I feel like this is something you’re either really going to love or really going to hate sooo idk. Also I was literally fixated on Sevika/Ambessa and one edit drove me to madness so here we are, getting double teamed by Commander Kiramman and General Merdarda 😩 They’re both evil twins in this but Caitlyn is the more evil twin but no seriously read the tw…. anyways enough of my my rumbling, this fic is long enough lol.

Your ear shot up, body reacting involuntarily to the large grey door opening. Heavy echoing footsteps, hushed whispers, and then a closed door.

“ This is the one?”

The judgemental tone would’ve sent you spiralling, had you been anywhere else. But menacing glares and sharp words would do little for you here. The lights were dim, unfavorably so, only illuminating distinctly right above your chair that you sat in.

Their voices held unyielding authority. Everyone from topside did to be fair but something about these two gave away their status. Their faces were shielded slightly, your eyes squinting in an attempt to see who they were. That attempt was shot down, the small space of darkness they stood in protecting them.

You cursed yourself for not having been smarter that day, faster. For if you had been, you’d never know what the inside of Stillwater’s interrogation room looked like.

“ Yes, General. My enforcers found her near one of Jinx’s old hideouts. From the items that were taken from her we can safely say this one knows something. She knows Jinx. My men attempted to speak to her a couple of days ago but nothing came of it.”

You thought back to the ‘men’ who questioned you, hammered you with prompts that you refused to answer. The bruises on your back proved how badly they wanted to know but you never relented.

“ I don’t know anything.” A lie. A clear one. Both of the women ignored you, tossing back and forth bits of information. You tugged at the shiny metal cuffs, now wishing you’d taken Vi up on those lock picking lessons. I’m so fucked, you thought to yourself. The room was a bit cold and you weren’t exactly dressed for the occasion when they snatched you. So, somberly you shook a little, giving up on listening to whatever they were saying.

You weren’t going to rat. You knew that much.

Your head was hung when you heard them get closer to you. Not bothering to look up, you heard two chairs groan from being pulled, until they sat down from what you assumed.

“ Name?”

Finally you peered up. Your expression faltered for a second, not expecting the sight in front of you. Their outfits clashed and blended seamlessly all at once. One sat in an all black attire, her long blue hair hanging down. The other was engrossed in clads of gold and red.

Sitting right across from you, they both had menacing glares. Well, the glares you expected. Not quite the faces. Shamefully you imagined seeing them somewhere else, maybe in The Last Drop? The younger, sharp features and pinched eyes, looked at you with a particularly hateful look. That didn’t bother you though, she was as intimidating as the drunk men you’d fought with in the undercity. Pretty though, you thought. The other one was a different story entirely.

She was tall, you could tell from how she towered even sitting down. Something about her was elegant. But she looked dangerous. Growing up it was quite necessary to assess who you could and couldn’t take on, and the moment your eyes locked with hers, you knew. The scars on her face also gave way to what she was capable of. She was a problem, even if her stare wasn’t as heinous as the woman beside her.

“ Name?” She pressed. Her voice was calm but she didn’t look like someone who didn’t know how to raise it.

“ I don’t know anything. I don’t even know who Jinx is.”

The blue haired girl scoffed, clearly unimpressed. Her companion remained analytical of you.

“ You’re a terrible liar.” Her voice came off unforgiving and brutal. You’d be lying (again) if you said you weren’t slightly offended. But you kept a neutral face, ignoring her.

“Listen, this doesn’t have to be rough. How this goes depends entirely on you, you choose. We know you know Jinx. We know that you know something. The information you have is quite important to me,”

The older woman paused for a split second, her stare unwavering and promising. She looked over to the younger one before looking back at you.

“ to us. So we’re leaving this room with something, I can assure you that. But I can also assure you that if you help us, we will help you.”

Her voice was smooth, like wine. Well according to what people say about wine, you’d never had it. She was firm in her words, almost as if she herself knew the power behind her promise. That would’ve reassured you had it not been for the fact that she was after your fucking friends.

You looked between the two of them again, assessing the scene in front of you over and over. You were unimpressed, if you were being honest, something you hadn’t been since these cuffs first touched your wrist. Sure, you could tell they meant business but this was futile as an interrogation tactic.

Good cop, bad cop?

While the older wasn’t exactly nice, you expected a missing eye, pulled nails and burnt skin. What you weren’t expecting was two, unfortunately attractive, topside pigs to do a century old method. If anything they should’ve switched, you thought to yourself.

Maybe then they’d get somewhere.

“ Still don’t know who Jinx is or why I’m here.”

“ You’re lying, again. And protecting a known fanatic and criminal. Tell us where we can find Jinx.”

You furrowed your brows, annoyed with her insults and claims. Who is she to tell you that were lying? Well, you were of course. But regardless, the tone in the blue eyed woman before you made you unsettled.

“ I’m not lying.” You gritted out. “ I’ve been detained wrongfully. You’re wasting your time. I don’t know anything.”

“ Yes, you do.” Her voice was firm, final. You scowled at her, but it was nothing in comparison to how she looked at you. Constantly her jaw flexed, on edge and angry. But she had no right to be angry in your mind, after all you were the one chained to a table being talked at rather than talked to. Secretly you wished for the older woman to speak again, at least she wasn’t such a bitch.

“ Are they your friends? Is that it? Because I promise you that we will find Jinx, it will just be a whole lot messier without your help. I don’t mind that. But I’m sure you will.”

You fought the urge to wipe that domineering tone and look off her face. You’re never going to find Jinx! You’re nothing but a power hungry topsider who doesn’t know the first thing about friends! I’m not telling you shit. Was what you wanted to say. But instead,

“ I don’t know Jinx or whatever else you people plan on asking me. Like I said, you. are. wasting. your. time.”

You put emphasis on each word, tired of repeating yourself. But to your un-satisfaction she rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

“ Look… I shouldn’t be here. I can’t give you anything because I don’t kno—“

“ Right.” She cut you off, so obviously tired of your insistent lying, even in the short minutes. “And you’re not an undercity animal.”

“ And you’re not a topside pig.”

In all fairness it came out before you could stop it. You weren’t used to being talked to like this and keeping quiet, it almost came out of pure instinct. But if you were surprised by your words you didn’t show it one bit, a small smile almost playing on your lips.

Her nostrils flared slightly, her breathing elevating. For a moment you thought she’d explode before the other woman spoke.

“ Kiramman.”

You memorized the name, not sure if it’d be useful later once you escaped but just in case. She simply collected herself, nodding at the woman who she called ‘General’. Maybe this is where you went wrong, your natural element slipping out, your ego on its way to arriving.

“ You should learn to control yourself, ya know… during interrogations and such.”

“ Shut your mouth.” It was harsh and whispered. This is when you should’ve stopped but you didn’t.

“ You must be new, since you need a supervisor to help you.”

“ Shut it.”

“ You guys have nothing on me. You’re fucking desperate. I’m n—“

Mistakenly you were so focused on Kiramman that you hadn’t been prepared for the harsh grab of your chin. It was quick, unbelievably fast and that scared you more than anything. The strength of which she used to crush your face also attributed to the pit in your stomach.

“ You’ve chosen miserably.”

Her voice was meaner now, she talked as if you were nothing. Like you were stupid. Instantly you regretted wishing for her presence.

Embarrassingly you struggled against her trying to pry away but it was useless. She effortlessly held you there, your cheeks red with humiliation and anger. You tried to ignore the victorious face planted on Kiramman.

“ She said shut your mouth so you shouldn’t be doing anything but that.”

“ Thought you w-wanted me to talk, which one is it?”

You half expected her to break your jaw or lash out like the woman beside her. Instead she remained calm, eerily calm. Anyone with such strength and patience was someone who got what they wanted. But, you weren’t going to talk, you reminded yourself.

She pulled you closer, not without the rebellious tug from you. Silently she analyzed you, staring into your eyes painstakingly long. You squirmed and averted your gaze. She let you go with a ‘hmph’.

“ She won’t talk, not like this.”

The blue haired girl whipped her head towards her, then back to you, a blue fire blazing in her eyes. From the short time they’d been in the room it was clear the older woman held a higher position, authority oozing from her undoubtedly. But now you noticed something dark about the Kiramman that you should have picked up on before.

She was angry, unreasonably so. There was something constantly threatening to set off inside of her.

“ Everyone talks. There has to be something that’ll make her.”

The General hummed. “ I agree, but not like this. She’s loyal to them and she’s prepared for a cell if not this. She’s attempting to use our anger to distract us. She needs something else.”

The goosebumps from the cold air became accompanied by ones born from anxiety. Your mind went into a dark place, worried you’d never leave Stillwater. What if they starved you? Kept you locked in some cell as your body slowly decayed while you still lived? True fear found its way to you for the first time, the unknown overwhelming.

Kiramman seemed to hold back a sigh, instead taking a moment to actually listen to her superior's words. You couldn’t tell what she was thinking but from the firm nod she let off to the General, you knew it wasn’t in your favor. The grey haired woman stood now, making your heart race. Desperately you tugged at the chain once more, attempting to repeat your overdone line.

“ Look, I really don’t know anything.” Ignored.

The blue haired girl remained seated, leaned back slightly, watching silently as the older woman walked around the table. She walked to you with a certain prowess about her. She was taller than you’d expected, to your dismay. You refused to look at her when she was finally standing beside you, face aimed at the grey table.

You pinched your eyes waiting to be hit, choked maybe, or stabbed if they didn’t mind the mess. Your breathing raised as you tried to silently comfort yourself through whatever pain soon awaited. You held back a flinch when you felt large hands pulling at your chains.

It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. Fuck.

*clink*

You snapped your eyes open, seeing your handcuffs now undone.

“ Stand up.”

You took in a breath, silently grateful that you hadn’t been harmed. You stood now, relieved. At least whatever they were going to do wasn’t happening in the now you thought. You looked towards the giant closed metal door, expecting your arm to be snatched as she led you to your dark cell. But to your surprise she simply spoke again.

“ On the table.”

You looked between the two of them.

You shook your head, not even at them, it just shook. No way in hell were you going to lay down on some metal table while these two psychopaths did whatever they wanted to you. You weren’t exactly happy about the bruises that already resided there, definitely not hoping for extras.

“ …No.”

You hadn’t wished to say it but you couldn’t bring yourself to willingly place your body on that table before they hurt you.

“ You misunderstand the situation. You’ve chosen already. So get on the table.”

You didn’t choose shit. That’s what you wanted to shout, to scream at them until your bones betrayed you. A million emotions rushed through your head, clenching and unclenching your hands. Instead you remained silent and unmoving, your refusal to acknowledge was saying ‘no’ in its own way.

“ Fucking impossible…”

You didn’t even have a moment to react to the words before you were pulled. A grunt left your mouth as your hair was gripped painfully. Anger coursed through you upon seeing the black uniform in your peripheral. You used your now free hands to try and pry her hands from you but she only gripped impossibly tighter, your scalp beginning to burn. She was swifter than you’d imagined she’d be, strong too, grabbing both of your hands with one, pinning them. This somehow was worse than cuffs.

“ Fucki— let me go!”

Ignored. Why did they ignore everything?

“ Where do you want her?”

Her General's eyebrows raised, but you didn’t see surprise. Not even disappointment. Content, maybe? You didn’t put it past her.

“ Let's put her on her back to start.”

She moved without question or affirmation. Irritation was clear across your face now, upset at the stinging that wasn’t letting up on your scalp. But clearly the woman behind you didn’t care, roughly forcing you onto the table. She wasn’t as tall as her companion but she was taller than you and it wasn’t an advantage on your part. The force behind her movements were unsettling, you hadn’t thought she was powerless at first glance, but her grip on you was unnerving compared to what you thought she was capable of.

The cold metal wasn’t welcoming. It felt like a million needles were puncturing your skin causing you to shudder. Your tank top strap had fallen off your shoulder amidst the struggle, close enough to slipping down making you wish your hands were free.

“ Give me her wrist.”

They swiftly transferred your hands, the Generals grip matching hers but you could tell there was more strength to be given behind it. You didn’t want to imagine her really trying to squeeze you. The cuffs you were free from moments ago encased you again, and you didn't miss the two extra notches she clicked causing your bone to shift uncomfortably with the metal. You scowled.

“ It’s too fucking tight.”

Not even a pitied glance, nothing. Ignored. Again. You shifted your wrist again, overwhelmed and upset. And this bitch is still gripping my hair, using her other hand to keep your shoulder on the table casually. So easily, and that made you feel vulnerable, helpless. And your now restrained hands weren’t helping, the slight burn making something in your throat want to creep up but you wouldn’t dare allow it, deciding to instead take it out on them.

“ Let go of my hair, you bi–”

You hissed, the stinging sensation pulsating across your cheek. It wouldn’t leave a bruise but you damn sure felt it.

“ Mind your tongue.”

The General ignored the glare you sent her straight from hell, instead taking off her jacket revealing a dark sleeveless sort of top. You couldn’t begin to imagine or decipher the detailing of it, topsiders always dressed too flashy in your opinion, too stuck up. Her arms were as big as you'd thought. Both being ridiculed with scars.

Then, another sharp crack resounded through the dark room, a quick punishing tug to your scalp. This one would unfortunately leave a bruise. You could tell. You didn’t hiss this time, too stunned, on the verge of groaning from the way she used your hair as a plaything.

“ What she said.”

Kiramman finally let go of your hair, the residue of her strength still pounding through your head. You tried to sit up but she instead used both of her hands to hold you down. With only your legs to move, you kicked but the General shut that down as soon as it started. Effortlessly she used only one hand to keep them pinned down, now looking over you and at Kiramman.

What now? You thought. Cut my skin until I fess up? Break my bones until I don’t have any? Beat me bloody while I lie on this cold table? Are they going to kill me when this is all over, when I don’t say anything? I’m going to die here, aren’t I? I’m going to die and nobody’s gonna know.

It’ll be ok. It’ll be ok. It’ll be ok. I can take it. I can take it.

Eyes suddenly squeezed shut, recited echoes of wishful thinking, a scratchy throat. You braced yourself.

“ Last chance. Tell us where we can find Jinx and I’ll send you back to your cell. Untouched.”

Your voice came out a little exasperated, anxiety and anger laced into it. You kept your eyes shut.

“ I don’t know who Jinx is so I can’t tell you that. I don’t know anything.”

Your shoulder crushed more into the table, pale hands squeezing.

“ You continue to choose stupidity, insolence. No more of that.”

Suddenly the grip on your legs were let go and you opened your eyes. She was still at the head of the table staring down at you. For a moment you considered kicking again but as if she read your mind…

“ Kick me and I will break every bone in your knee.”

Her tone wasn’t intimidating, demeaning absolutely, but not intimidating. The certainty in her voice made you throw away any ideas of using your legs. You liked your knees to say the least. You peered straight up to see an upside version of Kiramman, her long blue hair creating a shadow around her neck, her jawline distinct. Even without seeing her face, only the outline of lips and nose, the anger radiated off her body.

“ What now?”

The General looked over you, straight at her.

“ We’ll need to take her pants off for the next part.”

You and Kiramman spoke at the same time.

“ Wait, what? My pants?” “ Her pants?”

The older woman simply gave a one word reply, meant to supply both of you with a firm answer, ‘yes’.

“ Wait, wait.”

She looked down at you, eyebrows raised.

“ Do you remember something about Jinx? Something you’d like to tell us?”

You listened to the flickering sound coming from the light above you. One by one you let them pop into your head. Jinx, long blue hair and wild face as she hugged you. Vi, stuffing her favorite foodsin your face. Isha, making paper airplanes with you. For a moment you thought a tear might slip but it didn’t. You drew in a shaky breath, ignoring the sting on your wrist.

“ No. I don’t know anything. I just…”

You averted your gaze.

“ Is it going to hurt?”

A stupid question in your mind. No doubt torture hurts. But something in you needed to ask, needing some sort of certainty in what was to come.

“ That depends on you entirely. I’ll give you pain when you give me insolence. But when you give me answers, I’ll give you… ”

She suddenly ghosted a hand over your calf.

“ Relief.”

You shuddered a little, her graze unexpected. But you didn’t dare move your leg, not wanting to test what qualified as a kick to her. You didn’t want to imagine what she meant by relief, because it couldn’t mean that. It couldn’t mean that.

“ How does that sound?”

“ It sounds like I have nothing else to say to you.”

She hummed. Without another word she slipped her large hands in your waistband, pulling them down to your ankles. You wanted them back the second your bare thigh touched the cold metal. A click echoed and you looked to see a blade in her hand, small in size but formidable in design. Gold snakes seemed to embroider its handle. You sucked in a harsh breath at the sight, your eyes locked on it.

Your eyes flicked up at the blue haired woman, her position now changed so that you could see her face again. Her eyes almost beamed? For the first time an expression other than anger displayed itself on her features. Now she looked almost… pleased. Excited.

It’ll be ok. It’ll be ok. I can take it. I can take it. I can take it. Hopefully.

You ignored the last words, watching as the General kept her eyes trained on your plump thighs. Opening them, she traced it right on the inside of it. Immediately you could tell it was sharp. Too sharp. It was cold against your skin, not as harsh as the table but unforgiving nonetheless. Anticipation rushed through you. Hands clenched within its restraints, the light flickering and flickering, her soft hands on your shoulder, icy metal on your skin, her hand slipping onto your thigh and then….

“ Ngnh!”

Your head pressed into the metal slightly. You’d have been embarrassed by your whimper if it wasn’t for the sudden warm drip down your thigh. Blood, you assumed. You’d been through worse but you still squirmed at the cut now adorned on your skin. She pushed down on your thigh, not fond of your squirming. Then she continued, tracing the blade across your thigh, waiting until your body finally relaxed, stopping itself from that state of bracing. And right when you did, she’d swipe a quick line across your shaky, burning legs. Always between your thighs, always.

It felt like electricity was rushing through you, it was all so overwhelming. You felt like you were being swallowed alive and they had barely done anything. The cuts burned and sent a rush of pain through your nerves and skin. Everytime you looked at Kiramman her face was becoming alive with intoxication. It’s like she couldn’t pull her eyes away, trained on the way your leg wobbled under her General’s hand, how you whimpered lowly, the light trace of blood on the expensive blade. You jolted again, particularly harder this time.

“ Relax. It's just a little cut, you're a big girl.”

It continued like this. You tried your best to stifle the whimpers coming from your mouth. The last thing you wanted was for them to hear what they were doing to you. Over and over she painted your thighs with your own crimson, and it hurt. It hurt, it did. And that's all it should be.

But your stomach kept getting that feeling. It burned, like the surface level cuts she gave you. It burned every time her calloused finger swiped across your sliced skin, collecting blood. It burned when she smiled suddenly, as if proud of her work. And it was scalding when you looked up and saw those blue eyes entranced. But it wasn’t pain. It wasn’t…anger. It was something else. Something that made you want to release that feeling in your throat, made you wish she meant something ungodly when she offered relief.

“ What's this?”

Your skin was hot to the touch now, sweaty. Trembling slightly, you looked up at her. For a moment you couldn’t begin to imagine what she was referring to until you traced her eyes. You silently prayed that it wasn’t what you thought. But from the way she asked, you knew.

“ What is it?”

Kiramman asked, curiosity clear in her voice. The older woman smirked, staring down at the wet spot in your panties.

“ It seems her body is more honest than she is. I think our little prisoner likes this. Her panties say so at least.”

Your face burned so hot that it rivaled the sun itself. You considered saying something, protesting and denying it. But what was the point? It did feel good, the burn felt good. And she had the evidence right in front of her. You couldn’t meet either of their gazes, looking to the side in shame. Kiramman laughed, the vibrations reaching you through her touch.

“ I knew it, she was whimpering like a dog. Isn’t that right?”

You shook your head, still refusing to look. But she wasn’t having it, using one of her hands to pull your chin. Even upside down, she looked menacing. She forced eye contact. Her face was rampant with mocking undertones, sadistic glares.

“ Is that why you’ve been so rude? You wanted us to give you a little pain, show you a good time? You really are pathetic.”

“ That’s not tr– n-ngh!”

A stinging pain after a quick slap to your clothed cunt made you whimper louder than anytime the blade touched you. It felt like a live wire tapping your skin, your legs snapping shut. The wet spot in your panties grew, your breathing uneven.

“ Insolence. Tell the truth.”

I can’t. You thought. Telling them that you’d enjoyed it, even a tiny bit, seemed more daunting suddenly than ratting.

“ I’m not ly– f-fuck…”

You weren’t sure if you’d ever be allowed to finish a sentence, her hand opening your legs followed by another slap coming down. Your eyes fluttered for a moment, your face squeezing with pain and pleasure. Kiramman used the hand she never removed to guide you. A smile was now on her lips, wide with genuine amusement.

“ Oh god, did you just… moan? You really are something aren’t you? Is that what it’s going to take? A few more slaps to your cunt and you’ll be blabbering? Or maybe…”

She lowered herself, close enough that her hair brushed against your face. You whined again, another unsuspecting smack from the older woman. You hadn’t even done anything, she just liked the way your panties got damper with each hit. Kiramman almost thanked her for it, relishing in hearing the noise even closer. She whispered to you.

“ If I make you cum enough times you’ll remember something. I bet you’d like that, letting a… what was it that you called me…a topside pig make your cunt cry?”

Finally, you gave way to the ache in your throat. A tear fell down your face suddenly. Another burning sensation forming in your stomach at the feeling of the General toying with the rim of your panties.

“ Please…”

It was quiet, almost matching the decibels of the wind. But you knew she’d heard it. It was obvious from how her grin widened, her eyes looking like ones of a deranged woman.

“ Please what? Please…make me cum? Please…let me go? Please fucking what?”

In this small moment of time, you almost felt like you were watching your dignity physically leave your body. You imagined telling her to let you go, that you didn’t know anything and a few cuts to your legs wasn’t going to change that. And you considered it, over and over. Then something played in your mind, a sick fantasy woven in desperation. In it, you asked her what you really wanted to. And in it they kissed you until you couldn’t breathe, made you finish until you didn’t know how to walk. You considered both. But only one of them made your core ache with desire. Your eyes were even glossier now. Suddenly you were working yourself up for a new kind of courage.

I can take it. I can take it. I can take it.

“ Make me cum please.”

“ Please who?”

I can take it.

“ Please, Kiramman.”

“ That’s it. Finally something coming out of your mouth other than horseshit. But you still need some manners…”

The grip that had left your ears ringing suddenly came back, her pale fingers peeking through your hair. She pulled your head up, forcing you to look at the General. You groaned, arms thrashing slightly, the sting of the metal never relenting.

“ I’m not the only one here. Go ahead, ask General Merdarda too.”

You gritted your teeth. This was already humiliating, and she was just reveling in it. Your legs were already spread, panties damp, dried crimson on your skin, hands bound above your stomach. You’d already asked, multiple times. And now you had to say it again, with a death-like grip on your hair and those hazel eyes peering at you, awaiting.

“ …but I already asked y—“

The slap was even stronger this time , the force of it driving your body insane. Merdarda grinned at you, even laughing a little at the noise you made. Another tear fell down your cheek but Kiramman was quick to wipe it. Right before she licked her finger.

“ But you didn’t ask me.”

If she slapped your cunt again you’d probably start grinding against the table, somehow making you look more pathetic than you do right now. So you gave in.

“ P-Please General Merdarda, will…”

I’m never speaking about this if I get out of here.

“…Will you please make me cum?”

“ Well would you look at that, that’s all you had to say little one. But what do we get in return? Surely you can’t expect us to make you cum with nothing given back.”

“ …But…I already said I don’t know anything.”

Kiramman scoffed.

“ Even after you soak your panties from a little cut, you still have the ability to lie. I’m almost impressed.”

She let your head drop back onto the table.

“ Almost.”

….

For a second you thought she’d kiss them.

At first glance it seemed so, her soft lips trailed over the red raised wounds, her nose spilling cold air on them. You reveled in it, an ember threatening to go a blaze within you. That was until she nipped at it, a hiss leaving your mouth. You couldn’t see her smile but you felt it sweeping across the throbbing skin. You cursed under your breath, the force behind her bite growing more rabid. She slapped the thigh she wasn’t ravaging, quick and harsh.

“ You like that, don’t you?”

There that voice was again, smooth and sultry. You weren’t sure if she was referencing the strike on your leg or her roaming fingers but murmured yes anyway. Yes to all of it. She had your shirt hitched up, breast exposed. Every once and awhile she’d toy with them, trace an outline around your nipple, wait and then pinch. So often though she found herself distracted, your features giving away how desperate you were.

Merdarda found enjoyment in watching your contort every time Kiramman did something to you, anything to you really. You were like a tight coiled spring, threatening to snap at any given moment. It's like every touch has you ready to risk everything. And you learned quickly they were into this a little more than you, mania clear across their faces. You were trembling, Kiramman taking advantage of how sensitive your legs were.

“ C’mere.”

You felt a little dizzy, seeing her lift her head up from between your legs. She grabbed your cuffed hands, pulling you up to meet her face. It all happened so fast and you winced from the strain in your shoulders. She was closer now and it was just now that you noticed the traces of blood on her lips. You hadn’t expected a kiss this time around, but it happened. It wasn’t gentle, if anything it felt like she was trying to cannibalize you with her tongue. Shamefully you pushed against her, sick to your stomach at how good she tasted. Hints of copper on your tastebuds, her wandering hands. She pulled back, being sure to bite your lip before doing so.

“ You taste that? It’s you.”

She dropped her eyes to your thighs, licking over her lips once more. A trance almost seemed to describe the hunger behind her stare, but you couldn’t be sure. You didn’t care either way, you just wanted her to do whatever was on her mind to you and soon.

“ fucking delicious.”

The whispered lust in her voice rivaled the reaction brought out from Medardas heavy hands.

“ You should taste her General. She’s sweeter than that filthy mouth of hers.”

Wordlessly, she captured your lips next. Her movements were more experienced, methodical and you felt as though you melted into her due to it. Ruby lipstick smeared onto you, a groan slipping from her as she made sure to taste everything you had to offer. The metallic tinge on her tongue made her pull in deeper. You whimpered, dizzy from lack of breath and insatiable roaming hands.By the time she pulled away your eyes were low, an unfocused look about you.

“ I wonder if her cunt tastes even better.”

Kiramman smiled sickly to herself, her gapped teeth giving you a warm tinge to your cheek.

“ We’ll know soon enough.”

….

Your wrist were nearly rubbed raw with all the thrashing you were doing. Time and time again you made attempts to close those abused legs of yours, in hopes of protecting your cunt. Unfortunately, Kiramman wasn’t pleased and she slapped it raw until you cried enough apologies. She mumbled something along the lines of ‘can’t be stupid and greedy’. But you somehow continued to be prove to be both, whining endlessly about the torture of her tongue. She never let up though, only unlatching from you to say obscene things or mark up your poor legs.

It seemed the pair held similar views, sick desires. Medarda would litter your neck and breast with purple marks shamelessly. She smelled of some expensive plant you’d never heard of, all you knew was that it made you whimper everytime her skin was pressed onto yours. She’d whisper siren-like words to you, etched in sin, rough kisses between them all. And yet you drank them into your ears like milk and honey.

“ You just came, didn’t you? Nasty girl.”

“ Do you remember anything now, hm?”

“ Don’t be so dramatic, keep your legs open for her.”

“ You must spread yourself open often. You’re a natural.”

“ Your cunts almost as noisy as you, dear.”

And when her tongue wasn’t making you drip onto the table, Kirammans words were just as wicked, if not more. Her posh accent was a coverup for all the nefarious things laced into it. A very, very poor coverup.

“ I said— keep. them. open. Unless you need a second pair of cuffs? … No? Then fucking listen.”

“ Go on, you can cry. I know it feels good. Yes filthy girl…just like that. ”

“ You’ve made a mess. Say you're sorry.”

“ Quit it, you can get a break when you remember something.”

“ Don’t act so sweet now— had quite a lot to say earlier. Isn’t that right?”

This was wrong, every bit of it. There was nothing exactly right about two high ranking officers of Piltover and Noxus eating you alive in the depths of Stillwater. The thought alone should send you running. It should have you drinking hot flashes of anger, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. But it didn’t. It only made you spread your legs wider and beg shamefully for more kisses.

It all felt so good. They felt so good and a redeemable, rational part of you hated that. But every time rationality tried to sink itself into you, Commander Kiramman and General Merdarda were right there to sink into you faster. And by god, they made you feel more full than any morale.

You were so sure you were going to die before. And that thought that hadn’t been removed just yet, except now you thought you’d pass away from all the onslaught orgasms caused by the ravenous women beside and inside you.

“ a—angh! oh god…pl–please”

Kiramman held back a sly smile, seeing the way you twitched, body so sensitive. Her fingers were drenched with you, now gloveless. Initially her signature black gloves dug inside of you but the minute she tasted you she knew she didn’t want it anywhere but on her skin. Quite roughly, she had pulled three orgasms, somehow each one more intense than the last. But that wasn’t enough, not to them. Nothing was enough until those pretty lips whimpered something they could actually report back. And even then she wasn’t sure she’d want to stop.

“ Are you going to make a mess again for us?”

Pathetically, you fought back the white of your eyes before looking down at her. She couldn’t help but grip your thighs tighter at your teary face, nodding exhaustingly down at her. Medarda kept you slightly upright, your back arching into her bicep while she sucked on your breast. Honestly she hadn’t a clue how long she’d been at it but by the rate she was going you’d look a fucked out mosaic by the time they were done. She laughed to herself but you knew it was at you. And that fact only made you rut against the table more.

“ This is going to be your fourth one dear. We’re never going to leave this room if you keep being so stubborn.”

She trailed her kisses up your chest. A peck here and a peck there. The slow ascend of her affections compared to the rapid thrust of the others fingers made you bite your lip, the skin pulling between your teeth. By the time she was up to your ear you were practically panting.

“ Or is that what you want? For us to keep making you cry until you can’t anymore?”

They’d never know it and thank god for that but you almost whispered a yes.

Kiramman couldn’t hear what was spoken but she definitely felt it. You clenched around her even harder, a long mewl spilling from you. She creased her blue brows slightly as she sped up her fingers, making sure to never be gentle with that special spot, secretly itching to hear just how loud you could get whenever you came. Her counterpart was just as wanting for it out of you, a more balanced desire about her. Even in spite of the way she pulled you in for another kiss when she heard you sob, “ ‘m s-so close..”

This time Kiramman both felt and heard it, her fingers happily accepting the tight squeeze of you. She latched back onto your clit which was practically begging to be consumed again, if you asked her. Immediately you tensed, using every ounce of self restraint to not slam her cheeks with your legs. It also got devastatingly hard to keep up with Medarda’s mouth, she pressed into you like she forgot you needed air, like you only needed them. And as the coil in your belly grew and the sloppy sounds of her eating away filled the room, you did need them.

A muffled moan ricocheted into Merdarda and she invited it wholeheartedly. When she finally pulled away, you used your bound hands to grab at her hand groping you. You squeezed it the second you felt Kiramman offer a grunt inside of your cunt. She licked you like she was rabid, lost in whatever drugs your pussy clearly had laced in it. Merdarda found it all so nasty, so amusing. Seeing the renowned Caitlyn Kiramman so cruel but so feral, and you with your slick mouth gone and lips swollen, made her clench around nothing.

Even if nobody in the room spoke it, you were all enjoying this ‘interrogation’ a little too much. That manic laughter that constantly filled Kirammans head, those stupid pigtails and flashy gadgets, had even subsided for a moment. She still wanted nothing more than to rip that smile off her face, but the way the tears journeyed down your face so easily made her want something more.

Right now all she wanted was for you to cum on her face, and she nearly keeled over when she finally heard you sing that song for her. A moan that could only be replicated in the best whorehouses of Zaun left you. The pair both smiled the moment they heard you whimper what they already knew.

“ i th—‘m gonn—“

You could barely manage a single word, back practically ingraining itself in her arm the way you arched over it.

“ Let it out, make a mess.”

Your body truly was more honest than you and clearly obedient because the second she said it you did. Your self restraint abandoned you, left you on that table shaking and crying. Your bruised legs kissed her cheeks (not so gently) as she ate and thrusted at the same pace she did before, never letting up. Even with your legs shaking and around her she just drove in deeper. The pleasure slipped into overdrive making you shake your head, trying your best to pull away, use your hands, anything to make her stop. But Merdarda snatched your cuffed hands.

“ kira—kirammannn!”

Wow, that’s the only time she’s heard her last name and wanted to hear it more. But she ignored you, knowing you were begging for her to stop. By now your legs had dropped, too weak to hold up. Your whole body practically vibrated as you lost your breath. Maybe it was the burning sensation ripping through you or the cotton in your head but you stupidly turned your head to look up at Medarda.

“ help…me…gonna fu— die!”

First she looked at you, toyed with your nipple as your hands fought against hers. So pretty and so pathetic, she thought. Then looked down at Kiramman, whose eyes now opened and met hers. An amused glint was in her blue tinted stare and suddenly Medarda couldn’t think of a single reason she’d help you.

“ She’s eating child, don’t be so rude. Have some manners.”

She was looking at you when she said it, but from the mockery in her tone you knew it was meant for more than just you. And it was confirmed when a smile traced itself onto your throbbing cunt. But it quickly went away. She was eating after all.

“ i canttt! pleasee!”

Kiramman didn’t stop until you went silent, unable to speak, inconsistent babbles of nonsense here and there. You weren’t even shaking now, just twitching and breathing like the oxygen in the room had been sucked out. When she finally got up from between your legs she couldn’t help herself and gave two quick bites. A strangle mix of a hiss and moan could be heard as you watched her stand. She lifted her fingers to your mouth, shoving them inside.

You expected her to be rough and jam them down your throat but to your surprise she simply swirled them around your mouth. Despite that voice in your head you sucked at them tiredly hoping to please them. And pleased they were. They both watched as you weakly licked her fingers clean. By the time she pulled away they both knew that previous orgasm just couldn’t be the last.

“ Do you remember anything now?”

You were fucked out, but not that fucked out.

“…no”

Thank god, they both thought in unison.

“ I guess it’s my turn then.”

…

BONUS

Kiramman walked with pure candor on her face. She heard the whispers as she walked past but she ignored them. What was the point in entertaining fools? Besides, the moment her eyes met theirs they always went silent. Always. Today hadn’t been the best day for her. Most days weren’t, hunting for that psycho and her friends wasn’t an easy job or a fun one. But she wouldn’t rather be doing anything else. Well…maybe someone else…

“ Don’t let anyone in.”

The guard nodded dutifully.

By the time she reached the room, she was already imagining her sweet song. She didn’t have to wait long to hear it in person because it was practically blasting throughout the room the moment the door opened. She closed the door behind her, smiling deviously as she placed her heavy cape onto the chair.

“ She’s even wetter today, if you can believe it.”

She laughed softly, “ Oh I can believe it. How many has she got so far?”

“ Just two. Don’t worry, you didn’t take too long.”

“ God, I know. I got caught up with that fool Salo.”

Medarda laughed now, knowing all too well how annoying he could be.

“ medardaaa”

Your toes curled, struggling to handle the two large fingers inside of you. Both were devastatingly skilled with their fingers but hers were undoubtedly bigger. Way bigger. And if the size wasn’t agonizing enough, she was hitting that spot over and over. This time your hands were free, and you used them to grip her bicep.

Suddenly your throat had a new necklace. Not a very nice one. She squeezed her free hand around your throat, speeding her fingers. Clearly she wasn’t a fan of your interruption, despite the way her cunt ached when she heard her name in such a filthy way.

“ Can’t you see us talking? And you didn’t even greet your Commander. She came all this way to see you.”

You thought you were going to pass out, the squelching sounds and sultry insults becoming distant. Your mind and body gave into her once the resisting clearly wasn’t doing anything. And you loved it. Each filthy posh coated word, lingering touch, rushed collided lips left you undone. The strength behind their hands made you want to never be without it. And for the past two weeks it continued to, leaving you right here in this room on this desk, unable to breath, only able to cry and spread your legs wider.

Medarda let go, allowing Kiramman to finally slip beside you. As much as she loved the song you offered, she wanted your lips. You gasped into her, them giving you no time to actually catch a breath between the transfer. Lightheaded, you still pushed against her, wetness dripping from your face to hers. She pulled away, licked the rogue tear from the corner of your mouth.

By the time she was looking at you, you were heaving, clasping onto her bicep instead of Medardas now. She watched with such marvel as your face contorted into those beautiful expressions, such a drastic difference from the stupid girl she interrogated. Logically she knew she couldn’t call what all of you were doing an interrogation. So she opted to saying ‘some investigating work’ the few times someone inquired about her abrupt departures. It wasn’t a complete lie, her and Medarda were investigating something every couple of days. your cunt

Her gaze traced to the brown fingers moving in and out of you, then to glisten on her General's hand and finally to your thighs. They were healing nicely. Unfortunately for her they wouldn’t leave a scar according to the doctor she took you to. She almost frowned at the thought.

But then she heard you whisper a quick, “ h-hi Kiramman…”

She smiled at you, a warm thought coming to her.

“ Hi, filthy girl.”

We’ll make sure they scar next time.

P.s. They had the officers who beat you killed 😜

[gyorouis]

── ✦ losing inhibitions.

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ synopsis⸝⸝ “you in those jeans? absolutely lethal.” he lets out a low whistle, shaking his head like he’s in trouble. “it’s a public safety hazard at this point.”

꒰ genre⸝⸝ fluff, light smut, suggestive pairing⸝⸝ soobin x afab!reader (establihed relationship) warning⸝⸝ suggestive themes, excessive teasing, dangerously bad pick-up lines, one very distracting boyfriend, soobin being so damn bad for reader wordcount⸝⸝ 3.1k tune in⸝⸝ addison rae — diet pepsi ୨ৎ꒱

you sit on the floor in soobin's messy apartment, your back against the foot of his bed, laptop open, the glow from the screen reflecting in your eyes. the fan whirs softly, blending with the click of your fingers tapping against the keyboard as you try to fix the code your friend somehow managed to completely mess up. again.

soobin, predictably, sprawled across his bed, controller in hand, eyes half-focused on the game playing out in front of him. his legs dangle off the side, but every now and then you catch him glancing at you—the way your fingers fly over the keys, how your hair falls just slightly in front of your face, the way your jeans hug you in all the right places.

it’s become a habit at this point. anytime you’re over, trying to work, soobin would start off pretending he’s deep into his game, but then you’d feel his gaze wandering, getting more and more distracted by you. and you knew today would be no different.

you feel his eyes on you again before he even says anything. and then, the inevitable.

“babe…” his voice has that familiar lazy drawl, as if he’s fighting off a yawn. you know he’s about to hit you with something completely out of pocket.

“soobin,” you reply, not looking up, already rolling your eyes at whatever’s coming. “i’m working.”

“i know, i know…” he trails off, but the smirk in his voice is unmistakable. “but i can’t focus on my game when you’re over there looking like that. it’s distracting, babe.”

you glance up at him, narrowing your eyes. “oh yeah? what about me is so distracting?”

“you in those jeans? absolutely lethal.” he lets out a low whistle, shaking his head like he’s in trouble. “it’s a public safety hazard at this point.”

you scoff, trying not to laugh. “i’m literally just sitting here typing, soobin.”

“yeah, sitting there looking hot as hell.” he sets the controller down and rolls onto his stomach, propping his chin up with his hands like he’s about to watch a movie. “you should give that poor laptop a break. you’ve been typing for like, hours.”

you look at him from the corner of your eye, smirking. “so now you’re timing how long i work?”

“it’s my job as a boyfriend to make sure you don’t overwork yourself,” he says, voice dripping with exaggerated sincerity. “i care about your well-being.”

“uh-huh,” you mutter, focusing back on the code. “you only care when it means you get my attention.”

soobin pushes himself up, crawling to the edge of the bed until he’s right behind you, hovering over your shoulder. “i’m just saying,” he starts, “you’ve been staring at that screen for hours and haven’t once taken a break to admire your incredibly attractive boyfriend sitting right here, patiently waiting.”

you sigh, fingers pausing for a second before resuming. “i’m fixing a disaster here, bub. some of us have actual work to do.”

“babe,” he leans down, whispering directly into your ear, “you’re fixing someone else’s computer. how is that your work?”

“because,” you say, voice clipped, “they’re my friend, and they trust me to help them.”

“you’re too good, you know that?” his hand sneaks around your waist, fingers grazing the hem of your shirt, thumb gently brushing against your skin. “saving everyone one broken laptop at a time.”

you shoot him a look over your shoulder, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through you. “and you are too distracting.”

he grins, leaning back, clearly pleased with himself. “can’t help it if my girl’s a total babe. you look good even when you’re just... coding.”

“soobin,” you warn, trying to focus on your work again, but he’s relentless. you can hear him moving, shifting off the bed to sit beside you, his knee brushing against yours.

“did it hurt?” he asks suddenly.

you raise an eyebrow. “did what hurt?”

“when you fell from the vending machine, 'cause you're a snack.” he winks, making an exaggerated popping sound with his lips.

you groan, shaking your head, trying to suppress the laughter bubbling up. “wow. you’ve officially hit rock bottom.”

“not yet,” he quips, eyes flicking to your waist again, his hand now resting casually on your thigh. “i'm just warming up.”

you shove him lightly, but your pulse quickens at his touch. “i swear, you have the worst pick-up lines.”

“maybe,” he smirks, fingers tracing the seam of your jeans, “but they're still working.”

“i’m trying to work here!” you remind him, but your voice lacks the sternness you were going for.

“then let me help you,” he says, inching closer, his voice dropping to that low, velvety tone that never fails to get under your skin. “i’m really good with my hands.”

you scoff, finally unable to hold back your smile. “yeah? prove it.”

he grins, taking it as a challenge. without missing a beat, he moves his hand from your thigh to your wrist, pulling your fingers off the keyboard. “step one,” he says, intertwining his fingers with yours, “remove all distractions.” he playfully closes the laptop with his free hand.

you roll your eyes, feeling your resolve slipping. “soobin, i have like, two more things to debug.”

“and i have about a hundred more things to say about how amazing you look right now,” he counters, his thumb lightly brushing over your knuckles. “but fine, i’ll make you a deal. i’ll let you finish your nerdy coding stuff if you take a break for five minutes. with me.”

you bite your lip, torn between finishing your work and the growing tension between you two. “fine,” you mutter, leaning back against the bed, letting your head fall against his arm. “but just five minutes.”

soobin’s grin widens, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “that’s all i need.”

you roll your eyes, trying to steel yourself for what’s about to happen. “yeah, right,” you mumble under your breath, knowing full well that five minutes with soobin never stays at five minutes. still, you lean back, letting the pull of him win. just for a little while, you tell yourself.

but as soon as his arms circle around your waist, you know you’re done for. his presence is magnetic, pulling you into his orbit, making it hard to remember why you were even resisting in the first place. you feel the warmth of him against your back, his soft breath ghosting over your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

“relax,” he murmurs, his voice low, almost a purr, as he pulls you closer. your body responds instinctively, leaning back further into him, your mind hazy as the weight of his arms around you becomes the only thing you can focus on.

you try to keep your focus, really, but with soobin this close—his breath warm against your cheek, the scent of his cologne wrapping around you—it’s impossible. his lips press softly against the side of your neck, and your breath hitches as his hand gently slides under the hem of your shirt, his fingertips grazing the bare skin of your waist.

“soobin,” you murmur, barely above a whisper, but it’s not the warning you intended. it sounds more like a plea.

he hums against your skin, his voice low and teasing. “what? i’m just helping you relax.”

“this isn’t... relaxing,” you breathe out, though you make no move to stop him. instead, you find yourself leaning into his touch, your hands finding their way to the nape of his neck, fingers curling into his soft hair.

he chuckles softly, lips trailing down to your collarbone as his other hand moves up your back, pulling you even closer. “you sure about that? because it seems like you’re pretty into it.”

you roll your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips gives you away. “you’re... impossible.”

“i know,” he grins against your skin, his hands slipping under your shirt, palms warm against your bare sides. “but you love it.”

your mind is spinning now, your body caught in the rhythm of his touch as his hands glide over your skin with ease, teasing, exploring. his lips brush against your jawline, sending jolts of electricity through your veins. and just like that, the line between work and play blurs until it’s nonexistent.

and you do. you love the way he teases you, how he never takes things too seriously but somehow always manages to make you feel like you’re the only thing that matters. like right now—his full attention is on you, even with the game still running on his tv in the background. it’s always like that with soobin, the playful teasing giving way to something deeper when you least expect it.

he leans back slightly, just enough to catch your gaze, his eyes dark with something you can’t quite name but definitely feel. “c’mere,” he murmurs, pulling you into his lap, your legs straddling his hips as he leans back against the bedframe, hands gripping your waist.

you try to keep your cool, but the way his hands are moving—slow, deliberate, fingers tracing patterns on your skin—makes your heart race. you swallow hard, looking down at him as he looks up at you, his lips parted, breathing a little heavier than before. his hair is a mess, that playful smirk still tugging at his lips, but there’s an intensity in his eyes now that wasn’t there before.

“you’re really not gonna let me finish my work, are you?” you ask, but your voice is breathless, your resolve crumbling with each passing second.

“work can wait,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough, sending a shiver down your spine. “i’ve waited long enough.”

your breath catches at his words, your pulse quickening. something in his tone—something in the way his hands are holding you, firm but gentle—makes your skin heat up. he’s not just teasing anymore; this feels different. more serious. more... intense.

his lips crash into yours, hard and urgent, and you kiss him back with just as much hunger, your hands gripping his shoulders, pulling him closer. his hands slide up your back, slipping under your shirt completely now, the warmth of his palms against your bare skin sending sparks of electricity through your body.

you tilt your head, deepening the kiss, and he groans softly into your mouth, his hands gripping your waist tighter, pulling you flush against him. you can feel the heat radiating from him, the steady thrum of his heartbeat through the thin fabric of his shirt, and the tension between you both is thick, almost suffocating in the best way possible.

“soobin,” you breathe against his lips, your voice shaky now, your hands sliding from his shoulders down to his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing beneath your fingers. “we should—”

“shh,” he cuts you off, his lips finding yours again, more insistent this time, his hands moving to the hem of your shirt, slowly tugging it upwards. “just... let me.”

he moves with purpose, his lips finding yours once again, hungrier this time, more demanding. you respond in kind, the world outside his bedroom dissolving as the only thing that matters now is the two of you. his hands are everywhere—at your waist, sliding up your back, pulling you deeper into him as if he can’t get enough.

the tension between you thickens, the air around you charged as his fingers dip lower, teasing at the hem of your jeans. every touch leaves a trail of fire, and you can feel the heat pooling in your core, anticipation buzzing under your skin.

you pull back for a moment, trying to catch your breath, your eyes locking with his. “soobin,” you start, but the words die on your lips as he kisses you again, silencing any lingering protest with the intensity of his touch.

“just five minutes, right?” he murmurs against your lips, and you can’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you tug him closer.

“you’re such a liar,” you whisper, but your voice is filled with amusement, any trace of resistance long gone.

he grins, his eyes darkening with something deeper, more primal, as his hands finally slip lower, fingers tracing the waistband of your jeans. “maybe,” he says, his voice low, gravelly. “but you love me for it.”

and with that, the last thread of control snaps. “god,” he mutters, his voice rough and strained, “i’ve wanted this... for so long.”

you can’t find the words to respond, your mind too fogged up with him—his touch, his breath, the way his body feels pressed against yours. instead, you pull him into another kiss, more desperate, more urgent than before, your fingers tangling in his hair as you lose yourself in the moment, everything else fading away.

he pulls you tighter against him, the heat between you both growing, and suddenly, nothing else matters. your laptop is long forgotten, the game on his tv still running in the background, but neither of you notice. it’s just you and him now, wrapped up in each other, the rest of the world fading into the background as the moment intensifies.

his hands move to the button of your jeans, fingers fumbling slightly as he tries to undo it, and you can feel the tension building, the anticipation hanging thick in the air. your heart races in your chest, and you can’t stop the small gasp that escapes your lips as his fingers brush against your skin, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine.

“soobin,” you whisper, your voice shaky, but he doesn’t respond. his lips are on your neck again, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin, his hands working your jeans lower, and suddenly, the room feels too hot, the air too thick.

you bite your lip, your mind swimming as his hands move lower, your body responding to his touch, and you know that this—whatever this is—has been a long time coming. the tension that’s been building between you both, the teasing, the playful banter—it’s all been leading to this moment.

and then, just as his hands slide further down, your phone buzzes loudly from the floor beside you, the vibration cutting through the thick silence of the room.

you both freeze.

soobin pulls back slightly, his breath ragged, his eyes dark and hooded as he glances down at the phone. “you’ve gotta be kidding me.”

you laugh breathlessly, pressing your forehead against his, trying to catch your breath. “of course,” you mutter, voice tinged with exasperation.

he groans, his hands still resting on your hips as he leans back slightly, eyes flicking between you and the still-buzzing phone. “should we...?”

you glance down at the phone, and then back at him, your heart still racing, your body still humming with anticipation. “no,” you murmur, your lips brushing against his. “let it ring.”

he grins, pulling you back into his arms, his hands gripping your waist tightly as his lips find yours again, more urgent this time, more demanding. and as the phone continues to buzz on the floor, you let yourself get lost in him once again as he pulls you in closer, his kiss deepening, more possessive now as his hands trace up your sides. you’re acutely aware of the warmth of his hands, the way his fingers explore every inch of you as if he can’t get enough.

you melt into him, your body pressing against his with a newfound urgency. your fingers grip the back of his neck, tugging gently at his hair, eliciting a low groan from him that sends a rush of heat through your entire body. his lips leave yours, trailing down your jawline and to your neck, kissing and nibbling at your sensitive skin, making it harder to think, harder to breathe. every touch feels like it’s setting your skin on fire.

“soobin,” you gasp, your voice breathy and barely audible, but it’s enough to make him pause for a second, his breath coming in short, heavy bursts as he looks at you, eyes filled with a hunger you’ve never seen before.

“you okay?” he asks softly, his voice a little rough, but his eyes are searching, waiting for some kind of confirmation.

you nod, unable to form words, and that’s all he needs. his lips crash into yours again, more fervent this time, his hands sliding down to your hips, pulling you tighter against him. your bodies fit together perfectly, and the heat between you is almost unbearable, the tension building with every touch, every kiss.

his fingers make quick work of your jeans, tugging them down just enough before he lifts you, flipping you onto your back with a swift motion that leaves you breathless. he hovers over you, his lips hovering just inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin as he stares down at you, his eyes dark and filled with an unspoken need.

you can feel the weight of him, the heat of his body pressing against yours, and it’s almost too much. your heart is pounding in your chest, your mind swirling with anticipation as his hands roam over you, mapping out every curve, every dip, as if he’s memorizing the feel of you.

his lips find yours again, softer this time, almost reverent, as if he’s savoring the moment. and then, slowly, he starts to move—his lips trailing down your neck, to your collarbone, and lower, kissing a slow, burning path down your body, his touch sending shivers through you.

you arch into him, your hands gripping the sheets as his mouth works its way lower, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. every touch, every kiss feels like it’s pulling you closer to the edge, and you can barely breathe, barely think, with the way he’s making you feel.

“god, you’re so perfect,” he murmurs against your skin, his voice rough with desire, and the sound of it sends a wave of heat rushing through you. his hands grip your hips, steadying you as he kisses lower, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin, making you shudder with every touch.

you can barely process what’s happening, the world narrowing down to just him—his touch, his breath, the way his body moves against yours. the tension is unbearable now, every nerve in your body on edge as he pulls back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark with desire.

“are you sure about this?” he asks again, his voice low and husky, but there’s an undercurrent of softness, of concern, in his tone.

you meet his gaze, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you nod, your voice barely above a whisper. “yes.”

and with that, he kisses you again, hard and deep, his hands gripping you tightly as he presses closer, the last sliver of distance between you evaporating as the intensity builds, the world outside fading away completely.

gyo’s note: here’s my small new year gift for u all! believe me i tried 😞 next week, tuesday, hopefully i will get to post the yeonjun one you guys have been waiting for ☺️ if you made it to this part, you will be loved. xoxo

✮ 2024 gyozies, all rights reserved.

[funkii4-blog]

SMG34 In 2024: A Recap Essay

(all text, no images aside from cover below)

This is extremely long since we got fed pretty well this year, so be prepared to read 3000 words of pure insanity from my silly little brain :))

14x01: Mario Opens A Can Of Beans

Not much to begin with as 3 appears very little in this episode, but about two thirds of the way through he's seen stopping by the castle to ask 4 if he can borrow some sugar. Which is funny since he literally owns a cafe next door to the castle lol

14x02: You Used To Be Cool

Oh boy, this one was a real kicker for being so early in the year, specifically for its second half.  

During the scene where 3 is attempting to torture Depresso, we get a short sequence of him thinking back on memories with his friends; playing Garry’s Mod with Mario, Meggy’s heart-to-heart with him in IGBP, and with 4... Snowtrapped?! This is of course the infamous episode from all the way back in 2016 in which the two got rather intimate with each other, so it’s wild that that is what he thought of with 4 first after everything they’ve been through together.

A little later, in an attempt to get 3 to show he’s still a villain (which he isn’t), Eggman tasks him with killing 4 as his final test. When 3 is told to do this, we can instantly see the unease and regret in 3’s reaction; and it’s made clear that he doesn’t want to do this. Over the last year's worth of episodes up to this point, 3 and 4’s bond had improved drastically; it’d been long established by this point that the two are friends now. 

We then see him in his room holding the gun shakily, visibly terrified; he knows he can’t do this, but he also wants to prove himself to Eggman and is torn. He has another sequence of looking back on memories with 4; the moment he finally declared they were friends at the edge of the Demon Pit, their sweet moment under the sunrise (sunset? Idk I just say it’s the morning following the casino heist) as he drew the two of them in his notebook, and as far back as during the Cosmology saga when they only first started to bond. 

He hits a practice target on his wall and starts boasting about how he “finally has a reason to kill that bozo”, but Eggdog is quick to confront what we already know: 3 cares about 4 and doesn’t actually want to hurt him. And while we can’t understand what Eggdog is saying, I think it’s pretty likely he was giving 3 a hard time about how he actually has a crush on 4, to which 3 ignores and leaves the room. 

Cut to the next day when 3 goes to perform the act; he walks into the kitchen where 4 is, raising the gun and saying a dark monologue (presumably knowing Eggman is listening in). He apologizes for this (something I highly doubt he would have done just a year before), and we get a cut to the window being splattered. We of course know he didn’t actually do it, but they still pull this fakeout on us; 3 actually shot the tomato meme that 4 had on the counter to trick Eggman. 

He says he was actually considering killing him “like usual” (which we know isn’t true anymore), to which 4 cries. Eggman then tries to attack the two of them; he initially aims at 3, who is unfazed by this. However, he switches his aim to 4, causing 3 to immediately panic and take down Eggman himself to avoid 4 getting hit. 

The episode ends with 3 setting his hand on the back of the still-crying 4, who is mourning the death of his tomato meme, as he monologues again; this time it’s about how he’s realized he doesn't need to prove how evil he is and that he’s happy with the people around him. 

14x03: CEO Of Rizz

4 doesn't appear in this episode, but I still wanted to note something in this one to come back to later. This episode is about 3 helping Boopkins with his televised date while trying to boost the cafe’s popularity, and there’s a scene early on where 3 goes over gift ideas. He ultimately settles on a creepy Mickey Mouse sculpture, claiming it to be a perfect gift to give a date. 

14x06: Trash Friends

This one also has a lot to cover, so buckle up ;)

3 is currently under a lot of stress, as his recently opened cafe is having a rough start and seemingly failing. 4 runs to him, also upset about supposedly losing an important endorsement he received. When 3 is confused, 4 proceeds to grab him by the face and pull him close in order to use his powers & project a memory of him losing the endorsement onto 3. He begs 3 for his help, claiming it’s because they’re friends and friends help each other.  

4 then urgently claims he needs this endorsement to become popular; we then see 3 getting an idea to take the endorsement for the cafe, but I also like to think he wanted to get it out of 4’s hands to keep him from growing power hungry over his popularity again. He did put a camera in 4’s room to make sure he didn’t go insane again after the whole perfect video fiasco, after all; he wants to look out for him and make sure there isn't a repeat of that. 

Getting this idea, 3 gets 4 to warm up to him via the “buddy chum pal” bit (the exact same way 4 did to him all the way back in Are You Okay). The two of them along with Mario then go to the trash dump to retrieve the endorsement, and classic star trio chaos ensues. 

The two guardians split up and spend hours trying to find Mario, having walkie-talkie conversations in between. 4 asks about the business, to which 3 lies and says thing are going well. When they join back up and 4 sees 3 trying to open a blocked door, 3 panics and says he’s just trying to open the door for him. 

Something interesting happens after that: when 4 is talking, 3 dissociates and ends up imagining 4 belittling him in a way that expresses 3’s fears: specifically, his fears of being inferior to the other (“worse version of you”) and being forgotten. This isn’t confirmed, but I've seen it theorized that the only opinion that matters to 3 is 4’s (with vice versa also possible). 

Once they find Mario, they fight over him as they both try to claim the drive with the endorsement on it, 3 avoiding telling 4 the truth as long as he can. 

The fight eventually goes too far, with 4 calling 3 selfish since he doesn’t understand why 3 wants it so badly. This causes 3 to snap and have a breakdown, admitting his business is struggling severely and how he feels as if he’s the worse version of 4. This makes 4 realize that 3 is struggling a lot more emotionally than he let on, leading to him deciding to give 3 the endorsement willingly.

14x08: SMG4 And SMG3 Rank SMG4 Characters

And here we are, the first of the 3 & 4 improv episodes. I know it’s debated whether these can be considered, but since they consist of Luke & James (4 & 3’s VAs) having in-character improvised conversations, I still want to bring them up. 

A general frequent aspect of these episodes is the two joking around and generally getting along better, which is nice to see. Usually aside from serious moments, we just see them bickering like the rivals they used to be to each other. We also can see loving glances exchanged from time to time in these episodes’ animation portions. 

14x12: Once Upon An SMG4

I only have one note for this one and it won’t make sense unless you’ve watched The Cuphead Show since it’s a parallel to a scene in that, but I still want to talk about it.

After 3’s song at the beginning, he asks aloud “whoever shall be my sugar daddy?” (yes, that’s actually what he said word for word). There proceeds to immediately be a cut to 4 in his lair. This instantly reminded me of the scene in the Cuphead Show episode “Down & Out”, where King Dice claims there's just one thing missing from the revival of his career; there proceeds to be a camera pan downward to The Devil going about his business in hell. Another thing that likely won’t be known by non-Cuphead fans is that the ship between King Dice and The Devil (at least within the show, idk about the game) is semi-canon: They don’t get together in the media itself, but the team behind the show as well as the two’s voice actors have repeatedly expressed their support of the ship. And based on various events the ship between 3 and 4 can easily also be considered semi-canon... :3 

S14 Movie: Puzzlevision

I think it’s safe to say all the good stuff from this chapter of the PV saga was reserved for this movie, because there’s once again a lot to cover here. So here we go! 

The first of many parodies covered in this movie is of SpongeBob with, pretty fittingly to their characters, 4 as SpongeBob and 3 as Squidward. I know this was likely just done to fit the character roles, but you know I can’t help but note that the ship between SpongeBob and Squidward is also very popular within its own fandom. 

Throughout the movie, the two are seen being notably defensive and protective of each other in the presence of Puzzles, moreso 3 of 4. 

Once the gang is split up into different channels after the song, 3 and 4 are of course put together. The first parody they have to face is Rugrats. When 3 is grabbed, 4 doesn’t hesitate to spring into action and save him. 3 responds with a vulnerable “You saved me!” before going tsundere and calling 4 a baka (surprisingly the only time this running gag was used this year). 

After escaping that channel, they land in a parody of the Titanic film. They spot the portal to the next channel high up in the air above the ship, but neither can reach it on their own. 4 suggests he lifts 3 up to reach it, which 3 hesitantly agrees. The two proceed to reenact one of the most well-known romance scenes in all of cinema, with 3 becoming entranced by the beauty of the view around them as he’s held up by 4, embracing the moment before 4 throws him into the portal. 

14x15: SMG4 And SMG3 Design A Mascot Horror

When discussing game genres to implement, there’s a visual at around the 7:30 mark where 3 (dressed as their game’s mascot) pins 4 against a wall in a flirty manner. 

A bit later when narrowing down mechanics to use, for a split second after 3 & 4 agree to keep the romance aspect, Mario holds up a sign that says “Hi Twitter”. 

14x16: SMG4 Doesn't Meme For 1 Second

I’m not a fan of revisiting this episode, but I’ll do what I must in this case... 

After 4 is sent away, 3 is one of the first to acknowledge that he misses the other’s antics, looking on fondly as he says it made the gang’s lives more exciting. He is also the one to initiate a plan to retrieve 4 from the facility, aggressively knocking on the door when they get there to reach Mr. Niceguy. Much like everyone else, 3 is horrified when he sees how different 4 is when they see him again, attempting to snap him out of it with memes,

14x19: SMG4 Simulator

In the fishing minigame scene, when 4 fishes up 3, it says 3 is worth –100 points; however, 3 has a gold & sparkly aura around him that’s typically reserved for the best items in those types of games; additionally, the 0:34 mark on the minigame timer is skipped. I’ve also seen it theorized that this moment could represent 4 pushing away potential romantic feelings he may have for 3. 

Shortly after, 3 is seen sitting next to 4 as he grows sad over not having the reality from the ASMR video he’s listening to, telling him to do something productive before walking away. 4 contemplates briefly before deciding to listen to his advice. 

Toward the end of the episode, he’s shown to have a bootleg plush of 3 in his inventory. 

14x20: Mario's Plane Trip

3 doesn’t appear in this episode, but this is where my note from CEO of Rizz comes in! 

When 4 is getting his luggage scanned, it can be seen that one of the items inside is the creepy Mickey sculpture from before, that 3 described as a great gift for a date. One of 3’s signature bombs is also inside the suitcase. 

In a scene much later in the episode, 4 and Swag have a heart-to-heart about loved ones back home; in this conversation, Swag mentions his spouse. 4 then pulls a locket out and says he has someone waiting back home as well, but the scene is interrupted by Mario before we can see the picture inside. As you can imagine, a lot of people have theorized that 3’s picture is in that locket.

14x27: SMG4 And SMG3 Shop For Cursed Items

It’s a small visual detail but when settling on a gift for Tari, they do a cute high five. 

14x28: Mario Gets Stuck as a GIF 

When Mario loses control and starts to spin around the cafe, 3 quickly pulls 4 under the front counter with him to keep him from getting hurt. 

When 4 is scanning data of 3 in the HQ computer, 3 takes note of how 4 makes the model of him (“Do I really look like that from the back?”), even checking himself out to compare after. 

14x33: Mario Loses His Mustache 

Before the competition, 3 and 4 attempt to conspire to rig it in Mario’s favor; however, this is quickly shut down by Puzzles. 

14x34: SMG4 Theory 

Barely worth noting, but 4 is seen imagining Snowtrapped as he asks if every episode is a dream. 

14x35: SMG4 & SMG3 Come Up with an Episode 

The episode begins with 4 bursting into 3’s room while he sleeps, asking if he’s ready to “make magic”. He then proceeds to ask afterward what he’s doing in 3’s bed (which, mind you, was an improvised line from Luke). 

When 3 asks why 4 needs his help making an episode, 4 responds with telling him that his videos need spice that he thinks 3 can provide, even calling him the rosemary to his bread.  

This is definitely purely coincidental since this line was also improvised, but the rosemary plant has represented love since ancient times, being believed to reveal a person's true love. 

When 4 agrees that 3 should be a main part of the episode, the official sticker of 3 blushing is stuck onto his face. 

The episode they come up with was eventually made, but no, I won't be covering it. 

14x38: Welcome to Puzzle Park 

When Mario is thrown back by the force of Leggy’s yells, it almost seems as if 3 and 4 are leaning on each other on the sofa. 

When 3 sees Luigi get pulled into a portal and realizes something is wrong, his first instinct is to find 4 & Mario and tell them to run. He fails to reach them before getting taken himself, but texts 4 a warning in the last moments beforehand; it’s also seen they both have joke-insult nicknames for each other in their phones. Just a couple years prior 3 would never have taken time to warn anyone and would just have saved himself, showing how far his development has come. 

On top of that, I've seen it guessed that the reason 3 looked so mortified when he saw Luigi get taken was because it gave him flashbacks to seeing 4 get pulled back into the castle in IGBP, hence his immediate action to help 4 get away. 

14x42: Mario Gets Stuck In Traffic

Though they are seen bickering on their way, it’s commonly joked by fans in the shipping community that their trip together to the forklift convention could be seen as a date. 

14x43: The Mario PC Virus

Okay, there’s only a couple notes for this one, but they’re big and important ones. 

When the Crocker virus entities are scavenging through 4’s computer, one of them digs through a folder on his desktop titled ‘Super-Secret Spicy Memes’. It pulls one out, showing 3 traced over a Grimace meme with the text “what’s the matter smg4-kun"; it proceeds to scream the “I know what you are” line from the English dub of Chainsaw Man at 4 over it. It should be noted that that audio bit is commonly used as a joke to tell someone that you know that they’re queer. On top of the meme bring flirtatious in nature and being in a secretive folder, it’s entirely likely that this goofy five-second bit actually indirectly confirms 4’s already-suspected crush on 3. 

When Bonzi’s power destroys the computer’s data, the video projections of 3 and 4 hug somberly as they’re erased; this is the first time that they've been seen emotionally hugging. It’s notably much more romantic in nature compared to a normal hug too, with their foreheads touching and one of each of their hands interlocked. 

Ben, the show’s thumbnail artist, also followed up with a tweet saying “they gay fr :3"  

Late addition, but in the merch sale community post video the day before 14x45, 4’s drawing could be seen taped to a page of 3’s notebook. 

14x46: Luigi Doesn’t Need Mario 

In the scene where the gang is at the hospital, the angle at which they’re shown makes it look like 3 and 4 are holding hands at Mario’s bedside. 

And that's everything! This year may have been a really rough one for the show, but I think it's safe to say the shippers were done a great service throughout. Hopefully the hints keep coming in 2025! (and possibly even them finally becoming canon? please?? it's clear the team loves to play with their dynamic in a romantic way, if they truly want to make it happen then just do it!!! /silly)

[dinosaurswant2rule]

The trouble with Galadriel and Sauron (what the show won't admit)

Before I get hate, I fully love these two as a couple, I ship them so hard as Sauron and Galadriel and Halbrand/Galadriel (although I would have loved it if Halbrand was just a "dude" with a tragic past not the source of evil incarnate)

Anyway my rant/analysis

I've read a lot of META analysis about TROP/Galadriel / her mistakes/not spotting Sauron for what he is etc / the mistakes blah blah blah

And while it's also fascinating, my big issue with the show and to a certain extent the analysis around her is that and I'm going to say this SUPER LOUD

SAURON IS RIGHT (in a way that doesn't for Celebrimbor or any of the other character he interacts with)

Yes Sauron absolutely manipulates Galadriel and she refuses to acknowledge a whole series of things.

But, for Galadriel, everything he says to her on the raft is absolutely true in a way that's not really true for anyone else.

Galadriel IS cast out by the elves for wanting more soldiers, for hunting an enemy that they think is gone even though she is TADA right as well. Sauron is not dead (Gil Galad grhhh) They don't listen to the commander whose hunted him for decades and led them across the battle field, they just say go away crazy cat lady - we'll just ship you off to Valinor.

And it just annoys me so much, that it's never really acknowledged EVER in the second series that she actually has a point

Sauron WAS NOT DEAD

That they put her directly in the path of someone when she is angry/damaged/still mourning a brother she lost a long time ago

And when they find out she is right, they have GALL to blame her for it utterly

Elrond AND Gil Galad both lay the blame entirely on her shoulders, no one ever really openly says, sorry Gal we put you in a super awkward position where you could have been open to Sauron's manipulation, that's on us and sorry for not believing you first time around.

Elrond - twat that he is (although I love him) sorta says sorry in between make out kisses at the last possible second, but it would have been nice for him to actually acknowledge it that Auntie Galadriel actually had a point.

He also has the nerve to say that she had the darkness calling to her/ that basically she was just an idiot falling for Sauron's tricks / is possibly corrupted herself

And Gil Galad never admits it either - still vaguely regarding her a sparkly flea he can't quite swat

And that she's somehow created another problem he's got to fix

While I totally admit that it's partly her fault, I just don't think the show is written as desperately fair to Galadriel and the second series suffers a lot from it.

After building her as the angry/damaged/virtually invincible soldier in the first series, the second series determinedly knocks her down a peg or two and the men folk take over (this is not helped by the fact that she no female relationships in the series) even though t hey are partly to blame for this mess.

I guess it frustrates me that the writing /the way the cast describe it - they tend to just go with the Galadriel made a horrible mistake and look at the consequences / she really did want what Sauron offered line

Anyway, back to Sauron, HE IS RIGHT, she is dumped by the elves and he is the only one who vaguely sees her as AN EQUAL, he actually finds her determination and obsession APPEALING rather than a turn off.

And it's seen as this monstrous thing, he's saying, but it's not really because he's being absolutely true

I SEE YOU AS AN EQUAL, AS MY MATCH (romantic or otherwise)

LET'S WORK TOGETHER

BECAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING

It's hardly a shock that Galadriel found this appealing because literally no man in her immediate world has ever really acknowledged in this way before and by the end of the series, he stills wants her!

(and in my opinion even after the roundhouse kick to the face)

(this might be one of the reasons her connection is so deep with him)

Celembrimbor on other hand, Sauron plays on his vanity/his desperation/his loneliness? as well as his basic good nature, but he doesn't really ever hit the nail on the head in terms of his situation (cause frankly Brimby is living a decent life)

Sorry this always bugs me when I watch it/read it

Just had to ran this out, much love to the TROP fandom and HALADRIEL and SAURONDIEL too, you're all amazing

Elsa out x

[typellblog]

Hitagi End - An Analysis

Well, that’s it, folks. We’ve finally reached the end of the Monogatari series. It’s even right there in the arc title.

Hold on, I’m being told that there’s another whole season. What the fuck, I’ll be well into 2025 by the time I’m done with this.

But yeah, as usual with the naming scheme the second word seems to be the thing our title character has to confront - Hitagi is in active resistance against the End, and whether in the abstract form of the conclusion of the series itself, or the more literal threat of Sengoku Nadeko, there’s one common feature. Graduation.

One thing I remember vividly from Koimonogatari - from the first time I watched Koimonogatari, several years ago - is Kaiki’s offhand statement that Hitagi and Koyomi will probably break up in college. He says it so matter-of-factly, but it’s not something I ever considered, watching the rest of the series. I was fully immersed in the teenage perspective, convinced that nothing would ever end. It takes the perspective of a washed up older man to break the illusion, I suppose. You always hear the same complaint about romance manga - there should be more focus on after they’re already in a relationship. Getting together shouldn’t be the story’s end. 

One reason why it might be the story’s end is because as long as it ends there you can convince yourself it will last forever. Their relationship will never sink to the level of mundanity, of lovers’ quarrels - there will never be the possibility of being interested in someone else, finding someone else, being replaced. 

That is the kind of idealistic, indulgent, static ending that Sengoku Nadeko desires, and as a result is the kind of ending that Senjougahara Hitagi fights against. 

This is where I say something about Kaiki Deishuu. Something to make sense of what he’s doing in this story. He’s a man in search of an ending, I could say. Ever since the death of Gaen Tooe, he’s been looking for a way to move on. Perhaps this is why he tells Nadeko the same cause of death - the person you have a crush on died in a car accident. So mundane, so unexpected, so implausible. He thinks she will accept it. Does he?

He’s a man who’s already met his end, I could say. Such is the fate of the specialists. They’ve already graduated, already long since handled their personal agreements and disagreements. They’re stuck, now, bound to their own nature, their own rules. They appear only as supporting characters, never the protagonist. Well. I guess that’s a lie. 

In adopting narrators other than Koyomi, Second Season shifts the focus away from his obsession with helping and connecting to others. Koyomi’s interactions with and idealization of women results in a sense of distance - he struggles to see himself in them and their problems. How much of his attempts to cross that distance are really just attempts to help himself? 

This dynamic collapses when the female cast, facing their own issues, are made protagonists in their own right. They experience themselves as the Other, & Koyomi’s standard process of understanding the girl by first understanding the oddity becomes in these cases a process of self-exploration. 

And yet here we are, back to seeing a male protagonist confronted with the issues of women that he struggles to understand. 

I don’t mean to rag on men, exactly, I just think back to how there tends to be less distance between Koyomi and other men, how he’s more capable of seeing them as another version of himself, and I think that the best explanation for Kaiki’s presence here is that he’s filling in.

He himself thinks so, although it’s Oshino, and not Koyomi, that he considers. 

Regardless, the parallels to Koyomi are established firmly enough by the ending. Kaiki was poison to Hitagi but a surprising help to Nadeko, while Koyomi is the opposite. Put that way, their differences and similarities seem readily explicable. Koyomi saves people. He forgives the harm they do to him. It works for the prickly Hitagi, who needs a pillar of support, but not Nadeko, who needs to be told that she isn’t a victim.

Kaiki lies to people, but that doesn’t mean he’s trying to hurt them. Ononoki proposes a reading of his involvement with Hitagi where he had no ill intentions whatsoever. He didn’t try to free her from the crab simply because he didn’t think it would help her to regain what she had lost. He caused her parents’ divorce to keep her from under the thumb of her mother. He even swindled the cult, although more as an act of revenge than anything. Perhaps there was some impropriety in their relationship, perhaps he exploited her feelings for him, but our understanding of the events is vague enough to give him the benefit of the doubt if we really want.

Kaiki fails to help Hitagi, not (just?) because he’s trying to scam her, but because he’s fundamentally incapable of being honest with her. All his actions move around her and ignore her wishes.

When it comes to Nadeko, on the other hand . . . I mean, it doesn’t initially seem like he’s doing much better, does it. He has no luck with his manipulations, with currying favour, with bold untruths. In the end though, the way he helps Nadeko is a lie that they both know is a lie. Really, it’s more like telling her a story. 

And I’ve written before about how Nadeko needs stories.

Kaiki doesn’t tell her anything that another person couldn’t have. Koyomi, Hitagi, even Nadeko herself is probably aware of similar advice on some level. Don’t throw your life away pointlessly. If you want to do things, then you should do them. You can’t succeed unless you try. 

Kaiki’s talent is simply in recognising that Nadeko needs to hear it. Koyomi wouldn’t have thought to say it, because he doesn’t know why she became a snake god. She doesn’t want to tell him either. He’s stuck. 

But it’s not as if Kaiki has some unique insight into her psychology that lets him work this out. As he puts it, he’s not like Oshino. He didn’t ‘see through’ Nadeko, he just straight up ‘saw’ it. He broke into her room, twisted open the lock to her closet with a 10 yen coin and fucking looked. Her parents didn’t know what was in there, Koyomi didn’t know what was in there, Tsukihi didn’t know, Oshino didn’t know, even Hanekawa who heard about it from someone else and thought it might be an important detail couldn’t possibly know without opening the god damn closet.

This is where Kaiki’s habit of working around people becomes useful. Because more than anyone else, he recognises that Nadeko might be fine as a god, just as he thought Hitagi might be fine staying weightless two years ago. He’s not trying to save her. He’s not trying to do what’s best for her. He’s simply trying to scam her, with all the lack of respect for her personal belongings that implies. 

This establishes, perhaps, an important difference between Koyomi and Kaiki, but it also establishes a similarity. In dealing with oddities - in dealing with people - the key is getting to know them. 

This is something Koyomi struggles with, out of a fear of being too forward, a fear of hurting them, a lack of appreciation of his own value, as a kind of half-person, a fake person, that could only weigh others down. Kaiki embraces his nature as a fake and adopts only the most rational and most unscrupulous methods of approaching others.

The question, I suppose, is why? What does Kaiki get out of playing a character that informs all of his actions without explaining them? What does he get out of remaining unknowable even to himself, reacting with surprise to his own feelings and motivations? What does he get from acting without thought, tossing away caution, tossing away patience, and tossing away money in an attempt to toss away the past?

Kaiki values money for its endless acceptability, its exchange value. He doesn’t wish to have money, he wishes to use it, and in keeping with this philosophy, he considers nothing irreplaceable, not even himself. The person named Kaiki Deishuu is deliberately false, deliberately contradictory, and he’s long since given up on getting to the bottom of that particular well.

I begin to understand why he comes up, now, in relation to Nadeko, who is lost in a web of her own identity. 

Sengoku Nadeko is telling herself a story. She has to, in order to not hate herself. She is, and will continue to be, in love with Koyomi-oniichan. This isn’t something that motivates her actions in the conventional sense so much as a wall to keep out the world, to assert that she is normal. So why does she still hold onto it, in this situation where it has become so far beyond normal? 

Because she considers it part of herself. She is still playing the role of Sengoku Nadeko, and she can’t cast aside the most Nadeko piece of herself, the piece that she has spent the most time and effort showing off to other people. It would call her existence into question, make her look fake, make her feel empty. The sense of normalcy she’s trying to achieve is not in how other people see her, it’s in how she sees herself. She takes the pieces of herself that are left, the pieces of herself she’s been given, and pulls them together into a story that makes sense. To her, loving herself means never changing, never throwing parts of herself away, never identifying a problem in her own behaviour. 

She’s happy, Kaiki thinks. It feels a little different from the end of Otori, where Kuchinawa was still presented as a separate existence. He no longer pokes at Nadeko’s insecurities, at least not obviously. In recognising her own role in the whole affair, Nadeko is no longer worried about hurting others, of being seen as a victim, because she fully acknowledges herself as the one with all the power in her interactions. Godhood is an unusual role for her, but she seems happy to take it up, viewing her job as responding to the prayers of worshippers. It's a much simpler, more transactional view of social relations than she had to navigate as a human. She likes people who are nice to her and doesn't like people who aren't.

Ultimately, though, she's still playing a part, putting on a performance for Kaiki’s benefit. Her cutesy habits as a god are a far cry from the more genuine rage she expresses in the classroom in Otori. But then again, she doesn't have to worry about that, because she's not a human. She's no longer a part of society, with all the freedom that entails. An entirely negative freedom, of course. She doesn't have to do anything and thus there's nothing for her to do, besides play games with Kaiki and drink the alcohol she could only sneak sips of behind her dad’s back at home.

She’s happy, but does that matter?

Kaiki doesn’t think so. The other parallel established in the ending is between Nadeko and Hitagi. Compared to Nadeko as someone who never throws anything away, Hitagi is someone who rejects unnecessary things, rejects convenient narratives of victimisation, rejects divine assistance.

Nadeko is broken, thinks Kaiki. Like Hitagi’s mother. Like Hitagi almost was. And being broken has a specific meaning for him - it means no longer accurately recognising the value of the things you have. Nadeko overvalues the things that play an important role in her delusions and ignores everything else. In comparison, think back to Hitagi listing out everything she has to Koyomi back in Bakemonogatari. She has so little, but it’s all precious to her. Not only that, but she manages to offer it to another person. It’s only in recognising the value of herself and also someone else that they can form a mutually beneficial ‘exchange’, a real connection.

In Bakemonogatari, Hitagi’s self is framed as a series of external objects. You are the people around you. In Koimonogatari, Kaiki’s self is found in his money. Endlessly exchangeable, never unique, always mercenary. He offers himself up to Nadeko and gets nothing in return, because she fundamentally doesn’t value what he’s bringing her. Donating to a shrine at New Years’ is a sucker’s game, Kaiki thinks at the beginning of the novel, and he’s proven right enough.

For Kaiki, you could say that the money he spends is spent on himself, on presenting a certain image of himself. So what of the money he takes from others?

He accepts Hitagi’s woefully low payment for the job. He accepts it as a job, because if it’s not a job he’d have to start thinking about what his relationship to her is, if not client and employer. It would become unique, no longer exchangeable for any of the other half-dozen scams he’s running. 

He accepts Izuko’s 3 million severance fee. He accepts it and goes on working. It’s unlike him, Yotsugi says. He’s contradicting himself. The money isn’t being exchanged for anything, he’s just taking it. But isn’t that the job of a scammer? To get as much money for as little effort as possible? Then why does he keep doing the job? 

He’s acting unlike himself. Throughout the novel, he’s constantly pointing out new sides of himself. Phrases he’s said for the first time. Actions he’s never done before. After a certain point, I have to conclude he’s lying. Kaiki acts unlike himself in Koimonogatari because acting unlike himself, unlike the persona he deliberately acts as, is one of his most characteristic actions.

Being a specialist is about balance - or at least so we would assume from the actions of Oshino Meme. It’s about give-and-take. But Kaiki is a fake specialist, a conman. He should only want to take. It’s not a coincidence, then, that he keeps giving. 

I understood it on an intellectual level, but now I get it. I really fucking get it. He’s just, so, Araragi Koyomi. He’s so thoughtless and impulsive, so concerned with appearances, enamoured with his own edginess, stubborn, self-deprecating, cowardly, dense, inconsiderate, self-sacrificing, willful, proud of outsmarting children, reluctant to commit to anything, and most of all half-assed.

That is the characteristic trait of Araragi Koyomi as I understand it. He’s trapped between worlds, vampire and human, but doesn’t seem particularly inclined to choose one or the other. He doesn’t just look to the future, but the past too. In reaching towards what he wants, he’s immensely reluctant to give up what he already has. 

All the way back in Nekomonogatari Kuro, he characterises Hitagi and Suruga as different to him, more forward-looking, prefiguring Kaiki’s comments about Hitagi as someone willing to throw aside the most important things to her to get what she wants. 

It’s funny, because in doing so he also talks about Tsubasa as someone who’s the same, who also looks for solace in the past. Tsubasa, who in Nekomonogatari Shiro we come to understand will casually cast aside the past if it doesn’t suit her. 

She has a different perspective, you see. She thinks Koyomi is different from her. He’s ‘unshakable’, in her words, not concerned about losing his identity. Precisely because he keeps looking back, because he keeps confronting his past, he’s able to accept all of himself, unlike her. 

Despite Monogatari being a series about people changing, several times characters espouse the idea that you can’t change, not really.

The thing is that while change is obviously possible, what this idea cautions against is ignoring and forgetting about what you used to be like. Tsubasa can’t just make a new version of herself whenever things start getting difficult, she has to understand herself as a continuous person composed of everyone she’s ever been. 

The Rainy Devil teaches Suruga something similar, as regardless of the kind of person she wishes to become, the arm can’t fundamentally transform her. It simply shows that she was already the kind of person who could learn to run fast, already the kind of person who wanted to brutalize Hitagi’s new boyfriend. Koyomi’s idea that she’s somehow more forward-looking than him seems laughable when she feels as though Hitagi and her issues are something that she ran away from.

It’s a fundamentally half-assed application of Numachi Rouka’s methods - for running away from your problems to work you have to remain detached, and the devil’s grasping arm is evidence both of Suruga’s failure in that regard, but also of the attachment to life itself that Rouka lacked. No wonder it felt off when it suddenly disappeared in Hanamonogatari. 

At the same time, though, losing the arm is evidence of her change throughout that arc. Her running no longer isolates her, but instead can be seen as a way to connect with others. It’s no coincidence that’s how she ends up meeting Koyomi near the end. It’s his advice that gives her the confidence to get over the finish line, but the first step is abandoning everything and just running - not trying to beat anyone, not trying to hold back, with no particular goal or attachment to a wish. It’s the first time she really can since she started using the monkey’s paw.

Notably it’s Kaiki that offered her an alternative and advised her to just let Rouka have the parts. Kaiki, the one who seemed to be collecting them himself. Isn’t the concept of him possessing what is in a very real sense the remains of Gaen Tooe so fascinating? But it’s the yet-living Suruga that he calls her legacy. It’s hard to say if meeting her, in some way, helped him move on. 

Once again, we see a difference from Koyomi, who advises Suruga to act like herself and do what she wants. Kaiki tells Suruga to do what’s easy, what would cause less difficulties for her, in a similar way that he seems to understand Nadeko is much happier as a god and Hitagi wouldn’t have to confront her memories of her mother as long as she remains weightless.

By regaining her weight and her emotions, nothing will change, Oshino cautions Hitagi. She won’t suddenly make up with her mother. But it does allow her to move forward, to value her memories correctly, not allow her missing weight to weigh on her so much that she will never be able to become close to anyone else.

“She’s different now, more so than if she were a different person” Kaiki says, and it’s so easy to read him as relieved that she’s not stuck as she was when he fucked her up. That she’s still always in the moment where she truly fell in love for the first time. That she was able to remain the same person while still loving someone else. 

Tsubasa’s immense righteousness is subverted in Nekomonogatari, Suruga’s seeming single-mindedness is deconstructed in Hanamonogatari, and despite the effusive words of praise they both have for Koyomi Araragi it’s evident from his internal narration that he’s more pathetic and wavering than anyone else - and perhaps that’s how one ought to be, here. Never able to make a decision on what’s most important. Always most invested in whatever you’re doing right now, whatever person is right in front of you.

Hitagi is a character that we never see from the first person. Koyomi’s view of her as a titan striding headlong towards her goals is never really contradicted in the story, because despite her immensely evident vulnerability, she’s shown as making a more active effort to move on than anyone. 

The shadow of her past relationship with Kaiki hangs over Koimonogatari like a specter.

In Nisemonogatari it’s mentioned that her animus towards Kaiki probably comes from the fact she wasn’t able to hate him in the past. While she was still under the influence of the crab, her emotions regarding her mother were dampened. Kaiki’s acts of splitting her family up likely wasn’t something she was capable of expressing her resentment for at the time. 

If you think of that hatred as a final remaining regret, her kidnapping of Koyomi and confronting of Kaiki in Nisemonogatari the expression of such, then it makes sense that Nisemonogatari also marks the start of her mellowing out, never again reaching the heights of violence she demonstrates at the beginning of that novel. 

An interesting thing about Kaiki’s role there, looking back, is that he’s clearly aiming for that outcome. As soon as Hitagi confronts him, he leaves. He tells her to stop worrying about the past, about the fact that she once had a relationship with him, because he’s thoroughly uninterested in her as she is now. He provokes her into affirming her current self and relationship with Koyomi. And he says that the man who tried to violate her died in a car accident. 

Is he lying? Is it just a coincidence, that he goes with the same manner of death as Gaen Tooe, the same line he feeds to Sengoku Nadeko? 

Either way, the purpose of the line becomes a little clearer. He’s trying to get her, both of them, to move on. To understand that the people who seemed so important to you are mundane, the events that shaped your lives don’t mean anything in the big picture, and your past is just that. It’s over. It’s the end. 

He almost embodies the concept, in Koimonogatari. We see from his perspective and he is indeed far less ominous, far less portentous, far less important, than he seems from the third person. 

He’s also really bad at it. Despite his exhortations to ignore the past, he himself clearly still cares a lot about Hitagi. She as well can’t quite avoid falling back into old patterns of banter, admiration, reliance. 

And his ideology isn’t enough for Nadeko. He can’t just deny what she’s clinging onto now, he needs to give her something new. They called Osamu Tezuka a God, she says, hesitantly forming a bridge between her current self and the future she wants to inhabit. Telling herself a convenient story that patches it all up. 

It results in an oddly ambiguous message. Nisio loves his tricks, revealing something the narrator was mistaken about at the very end, but when Hitagi says she never loved him and hangs up it’s hard to tell which one of them came out ahead in that little back and forth. Maybe Kaiki, the eternal washout, was so enamoured of his own unique subjectivity he never considered the schoolgirl he was scamming wasn’t so enamoured of him. 

Who am I kidding, it doesn’t feel that way at all. Her rejection of the idea that she ever liked him was unconvincing in Nisemonogatari and it’s unconvincing here. And the novel frankly endorses that wilful self-denial. Perhaps it’s important to always act like you’ve fallen in love for the first time. Perhaps it’s important to believe that you’ll never break up with your boyfriend. 

In this seeming endorsement of Kaiki’s ideology, I have to wonder what kind of End Hitagi is even fighting against. 

Nadeko asserts that a single failure is the End, it’s Nadekover, she has no choice but to kill everyone and then herself. In resisting her, Hitagi asserts her right to change, to move on, to love Koyomi even after her life was destroyed by Kaiki. 

On the other hand, Kaiki asserts that failure means nothing, he doesn’t care about anything that has ever happened, after this he’ll just move on and start another moneymaking scheme, same as the last. Hitagi also resists this. She must, if she is to believe her relationship with Koyomi matters in the first place. Her denial that she ever liked Kaiki ends up an odd sort of validation for their relationship. If she did crush on him, that would be important to her, therefore it didn’t happen.

It perfectly mirrors Kaiki’s refusal to admit he ever cared about her. It puts the lie to his whole persona, but, like, it’s supposed to be a lie anyway, I think. They’re both lying to each other and themselves all the time, so much so that they fail to understand even the most straightforward exchanges between them. It’s fine, honestly. They don’t need to be true to each other as long as they’re true to themselves.

One thing that I never really mentioned is the other way you could take this arc title. Hitagi End as in the end of Second Season - the end of the series as a whole, potentially, if you take Nisio’s afterwords seriously (he doesn’t, as evidenced by the several previous times he’s pulled this exact gag). 

Astute fans of the anime airing watch order will note that placing Hanamonogatari, an arc set well in the future, before this one robs it a little of that sense of finality. Nadeko is not so much of a threat, knowing our protagonists survive. This is of course the twist, the lie, the joke of this arc. Life goes on, almost interminably so. The idea that graduation would be the End for Hitagi and Koyomi is as ridiculous as the idea that making some mistakes at fourteen would be the End of Nadeko. 

Even Kaiki’s attempt to escape the narrative, put a pin in the whole thing by killing himself off, is neatly and instantly subverted by remembering his presence in Hana. It’s not supposed to be a reveal, exactly, that this man is a liar. It’s just there, from the first page to the last. 

After Ononoki cautions Kaiki that he’s acting unlike himself, before he goes to talk to Nadeko for the final time, she spends a bit of time telling him what Kagenui’s been up to. Sounded like she was the same as ever, he thinks. I think of this, amongst all his attempts to dramatize his own life, differentiate himself from himself, craft his own ending. His life keeps going on, and Kagenui’s still marching to the beat of her own drum, same as ever. 

Happy New Year!

[midnight-mourning]

Sending a couple request ideas!!

Mayhaps some sharing Christmas with the merbois, giving them presents (maybe some mistletoe smooches)

Or alternatively! An au of your choice where the bois see snow for the first time :0

Fishy Traditions

❄️❄️Midnight's DCA December Day 28❄️❄️

back at it again with ANOTHER mer au (making this my second mer fic ever, yippee), enjoyed writing this one as well, hope you all like it too ^-^

Prompt: See Above

Word Count: 1502

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

"Put more over here, Sunbeam!" Sun calls out to you. "And here, and here, and here!"

You laugh, but oblige him, heading over to the sections of the cave he directed you towards, bundles of holiday greenery in your hands. "Okay, okay. I'm on my way."

You'd considered other, brighter decorations, but you worried about things that were artificial potentially harming either mer. There was also the concern of them trying to eat it, given they've attempted such with things like your phone before. You wouldn't outright say you didn't trust them but... you were certainly thinking it. 

So, you settled on what you were assuming—hoping—were mer-safe decorations. Things like fir boughs, mini Christmas trees, and of course, mistletoe. You hadn't told them the significance of that last one yet, you think they might go a little crazy over it and you want the place to be decorated before that happens. 

Moon tsks as Sun points to other spots for you to set things. "You're going to crowd the place and then it won't look good anymore. And all their hard work will be for naught."

"I'm not doing anything of the sort! You're just jealous I have a better understanding of this holiday than you." Sun sticks his tongue out at the other mer, who growls in response. 

You turn around to continue hanging things up, laughing at the two of them. When a wave of water hits you in the back. You jump, turning around in time to watch the two of them wrestle in the water, bickering about who's right and who's wrong. 

You clear your throat loudly and the stop, looking over to you as you turn around and point to your back. "Let's settle down now, yeah?"

Mumbling apologies, they separate, but not before grumbling and shoving each other at least one more time. 

You shake your head, sighing as you trudge over to a rock and sit down, having to remove your jacket and shirt to change. Luckily, you'd been planning to stay the night with them, so you could celebrate the following morning. Therefore, you had pajamas to change into, laying your wet clothes out to dry. Now the only issue was making sure you stayed dried the rest of the evening. A daunting task in and of itself. 

Once you're settled, you get back to it, finishing up decorating their cave a little bit after that. All that was left was to decorate the tree, with fish-safe ornaments or course. 

This meant two options really, candy canes and strings of popcorn. Both of which had your mers eyeing the tree hungrily. Maybe you should have left it bare after all. 

"You can't eat the decorations." You scold, swatting Sun's reaching claw away from the tree's base. "At least wait until tomorrow, anyway."

"But I know they'll taste so good." Sun whines, making grabby hands for a low-hanging candy cane. "Just a nibble! You won't even notice!"

You laugh, using both hands now to push back against his forehead. "No, then you'll want more, and more, and then we'll have a sad looking tree!"

"Sunshine I'm starving. Please, I'm going to wither away here." Sun's hands grip your wrists, pouting as he looks up to you. 

You huff. "We literally just ate dinner!"

Finally, you have no choice but to relent. Tossing not one, but both of them a candy cane to quiet their begging. 

You almost don't want to put their presents under the tree, knowing it won't end well for you. 

However, you think you're able to distract them with explaining more of your traditions. Keeping your gifts safe in the meantime. 

"And as a kid, we'd go drive all throughout the neighborhood to look at the lights. I always ended up falling asleep before we made it home." You're lying on your stomach, facing the water, as you explain to them. 

"I still don't understand these 'cars' you talk about, but that sounds similar to how we'd stargaze during winter migration." Moon's floating on his back, gaze unfocused as he reminisces. "The sky always seemed clearer in the colder months, brighter."

"You always fell asleep earlier, you missed all the good parts." Sun snickers. He's closer to you, holding your hand and snuggling it against his head as he rests against the pool's edge. 

You divert that argument before it can start, snapping your fingers on your unoccupied hand. "Oh! I haven't even told you one of the best ones." You reach behind yourself, grabbing a little bundle of mistletoe you had left over. "You see this herb?"

They both nod, heads tilting as they watch you curiously. 

It makes you laugh as you scootch closer to Sun and once you do, you lift the mistletoe above the two of you, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

You pull away after a moment, grinning. "When two people meet under mistletoe, they're supposed to kiss. It's like a cute way to—hey!"

Sun snatches the mistletoe from you, now holding it up himself as he starts to pepper your face with kisses. You start laughing and putting your hand up to get him to stop but it does nothing. All of the sudden he's stopped, and looking up you see that Moon's dragged him under the water. You push yourself up into a sitting position and watch the two of them fight under the water. 

Suddenly, Moon emerges and swims over to you, grin sharp as he holds the soaking wet herb above his head. 

You roll your eyes, and give him a quick kiss. "You act as if I'm not going to be fair."

"Best not to take any chances, Star." He snickers, kissing you several more times before Sun gets revenge, dragging him back under the water. 

By the time they're done the mistletoe is unrecognizable. And to settle things you have to give them each their own bundle so to stop their arguing. 

After that, it becomes a game for them of who can get more kisses with you in the shortest amount of time. It gets to the point you have to back away from the water's edge to catch a breather. You're reveling in the attention, but damn. 

Finally, after sharing more traditions in the form of singing carols and telling stories, you start to tire out. You're ready to curl up in your sleeping bag and go to sleep, when you're suddenly surrounded on all sides by mers. 

"You two cannot be out of water for eight hours." You protest. "It's not safe!"

Sun flicks his tails and you hear a small splash. "We're partly in, that's enough."

"Besides, we at least want to give you your gift up close." Moon says, and shifting presents you a package wrapped with dry seaweed. 

You sit up slightly, taking the gift into your hands. "Oh, you guys didn't have to get me anything."

"Of course we did!"

"You got something for us."

You shake your head. "Still, thank you."

"Go on, open it!" Sun encourages. "We think you're really going to like it."

"We do, at least."

Sun hushes the other mer, hiding his face for a moment as Moon snickers. 

You're not sure what it means, and let it go as you unwrap your present. 

Lying inside is a beautiful necklace, consisting of tiny shells and little glass beads. Sea glass, you recognize. The center charm is a small sand dollar, with a sun and moon carved into it. Looking closer, you can see writing in their language. If you remember correctly at least part of the inscription includes their names. 

"Guys, this is, incredible." You rub your thumb over the carvings. 

"We wanted something that suited you best, compared to the typical choices."

You aren't sure what he means by that, but you don't get to ask as Sun rests his head on your shoulder, eager. "So you like it? You really really like it?"

"It's beautiful. I love it. Help me put it on, yeah?" You hold it out, and they take it, putting it around your neck together. 

Once it's done you reach up, adjusting it so the main charm rests properly. 

"Well, how's it look?" You ask. 

"Amazing."

"Just like you."

You feel heat briefly rush to your face. "Thank you."

You give them each a quick kiss, then settle back in their hold, content to fall asleep then and there. 

"So, can we open our presents now?"

You crack an eye open, frowning. "You've got to be kidding me."

"It's only fair, Starlight." Moon argues. 

You sigh. "And I was just about to fall asleep. Alright, fair's fair."

You haven't even got the words out before they're reaching over, shredding open the packaging to see their gifts. The chaos of it makes you laugh, and you bask in their excitement and joy at the presents, clutching your own gift in your grip. 

It's a Christmas to remember, that's for sure.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Thank you for the request @baby-bloos! Twas a fun one to do esp since it gives me the chance to take another crack at mer things :)

Masterpost link

Tag list (if you would like added, see this post for more info, you can also dm me!):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8 @luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @milosmantis @robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva @juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml @divinit3a @amarynthian-chronicles @crystalfay

[haologram]

altair's 2024 wrapped!

— naturally, i got fomo. everyone was tagging me, and those who didn't tag me had such good spreads. as we see 2024 come to a close, i cannot say how happy i am to be done with this shitty year. however, good things did come out of it: i finally allowed myself to be dragged into caratland after casually stanning for the last five years, and i've succumbed to the fact that i write too many words per oneshot. 2025 resolution: get a grip! — thank you to everyone who has supported my writing in this year, though i've only posted a few works on this blog (as well as on @babeyun), but i am eternally grateful for all the friends i've made along the way. here's to 2024, i'm glad you're over soon. 2025, be kind, i beg. — if you've been tagged: you're likely either one of the reader reviews, one of my favorite reads or i'm tagging you so you can do this too! thank you for reading this. — all my love, altair. ♡

— 2024 fic stats:

— total words published: 130k!! — number of fics posted: 5 (trust me, 2025 i will post more!) — number of wips: 13 (like...ones that are actively being written.)

— most popular fics of 2024:

— first place: how to be a latin lover - joshua hong [x fem!reader.]

— posted: 16 september. — notes: 633 — favorite reader reactions: "i skipped a class to read this and I don't regret it one bit" by @aloeshit || ""Ah, ah, ah! We need to speak, Miss Y/N. Turn around." - the tension in this one line.. I GASPED.. i had to close my tabs because of how much this one line got me and it was just the beginning stages.." by @tusswrites || @mingycr's entire reblog, it was my first ever review like that and i cried. — comments from the author: this fic was my debut onto caratblr! i still cannot believe that people liked it, but i put so much effort into this as both a latin spanish speaker and for my namesake.

— second place: araneae - kwon soonyoung [x fem!reader.]

— posted: 3 october. — notes: 543 — favorite reader reactions: "i locked the fuck in for this one an hour later i’m crying" by my dearest @mercif4l || "i also liked the aquarium scene, 'which one are you? the male one' lol" by @flowershu — comments from the author: funnily enough, this fic is one i'm not entirely satisfied with, but i love it endlessly. i love love love writing hoshi, he's such a diverse character and it makes me emotional as fuck sometimes.

— third place: stairway to the stars - lee jihoon [x fem!reader.]

— posted: 23 december. — notes: 514 — favorite reader reactions: @monamipencil's entire reblog, as the drabble was literally for her LOL || "need to grab Jihoon by the neck and shake him like a maraca" by my beloved @gyuswhore — comments from the author: the way i was FIGHTING to keep this under 1.5k was INSANE. i fear that i cut it off right at the highest tension and kept the shitty smut for myself because why are you looking at my man?

— longest fic of 2024:

unforgiven - boo seungkwan [x fem!reader]

— posted: 29 november. — word count: 40,812 words! — favorite reader reactions: the entire reblog by @diamond-reads. i fucking SOBBED reading that review. || "when i lock my husband out of our bedroom to read this in peace at late hours of the night, then what." by @nanareadings (i cackled) — comments from the author: i think this is genuinely one of my favorite things i've ever written. i have never been so proud of a dynamic or pairing, because athena!seungkwan x arachne!reader was definitely my flex. this fic took me two months to write because i was so nervous about making sure the dynamics and power play played out correctly and i'm proud to say that i am so incredibly satisfied with this fic.

— most recent fic of 2024:

between you and me - lee chan [x fem!reader]

—posted: 24 december. — word count: 40,489 words! — favorite reader reactions: "finally a good chan fic i feel so whole today" by @neodanceology (i cried like a fucking baby reading that) || "i'm hitting them with a newspaper and screaming at them to cOMMUNICATE" by @nebulousbookshelf (me freaking too trust me) — comments from the author: god, i loved writing this. it was so deliciously stressful and the first time ever that smut came easily to me. i think that writing such a complex relationship (that is slightly based off my own personal experiences) that boils down to both people just being fucking idiots is absolutely my favorite trope. i can truly say that i love how my mind created this within TWO WEEKS. TWO!! isn't that fucking insane?? i'm appalled.

— favorite reads:

— note from haologram: these are in member order. that being said, i have read and reread each of these fics at least three times. i hold them near and dear to my heart so i will gladly say pleasepleaseplease never delete them or i will cry an ocean and flood your house. thank you! [any fics with a ☆ contain nsfw content, do not engage if you are not 18+, or if the author specifically states such on their blog.] — ex-conomics by @ugh-yoongi [c.seungcheol] — full throttle (p1) (p2) by @diamonddaze01 [y.jeonghan] ☆ — distracted by @eomayas [h. joshua] ☆ — the boy who lives on the moon by @miniseokminnies [w.junhui] — elevatory by @wqnwoos [k. soonyoung] — endpoint by @highvern [j. wonwoo] ☆ — steam (p1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; bonus) by @highvern [j. wonwoo] ☆ — ave, general by @amourcheol [l.jihoon] ☆ — raw by @ourdawnishotterthanourday [l. seokmin] ☆ — when i kissed the teacher by @highvern [k. mingyu] — sit down by @gyuswhore [k. mingyu] ☆ — orbit by @tomodachiii [x. minghao] — perspective by @tomodachiii [x. minghao] — wanted u by @hannieehaee [x. minghao] ☆ — hi (i love you) by @wheeboo [x. minghao] — office hours by @seungkw1 [b. seungkwan] ☆ — favorite coworker by @sescoups [c. hansol] ☆ — rivers & roads by @miniseokminnies [c. hansol] ☆ — rates of change by @wqnwoos [l.chan]

— top songs of 2024:

— orbit by the8, jinjibewater_隼. — eat it by megan thee stallion. — contigo quiero estar by selena. — 7pm by bss, peder elias. — maiochiruhanabira (fallin' flower) by seventeen. — jealousy by pale waves. — habit by seventeen. — circles by pierce the veil. — i found a boy by adele. — item by stray kids.

— 2025 goals:

— oof, this is a doozy. as for this blog, i'm hoping to keep posting and build my masterlist. back when i launched it, i launched a project that i haven't published yet and i want to get that done. as a writer i find myself starting projects and stopping them when i've convinced myself that no one will like them, but 2025 is the year of stopping self doubt and pushing forward. — as for myself outside of haologram, i'm looking forward to a better year overall. 2024 was not kind to me and neither were the people i allowed back into my life, but i digress. i hope that in 2025 i can implement what i've learned this year, and that's to not give a fuck what anyone has to say about me because at the end of the day they do not define my self worth. in 2025 i hope to build more lasting friendships, write to my hearts content and actually enjoy my summer this year instead of rotting in my bed because i let depression overtake me again. i am stronger than 2024 me is, and if you're reading this, so are you!! keep going!! keep on truckin' dude!!

— thank you to everyone who was by my side this year. i could not have made it through this treacherous year without you, and i am glad to have you all with me, and i hope 2025 is good to you as i am praying it will be to me.

— tags: [feel free to ignore!] @ressjeon @jenoslutie @lavnderwonu @diamonddaze01 & whoever else wants to do this!

[erumai-maadu]

genin era team gai

assuming this is the reply to the previous ask about if i have headcanons, hell yeah I do!

Tenten also really Did Not like Neji when he was in his ‘fate is immutable everything sucks i’m a genius but i’m a caged bird’ era but put up with him because he was the only other one to train with when Lee and Gai were having their training together

Speaking of which, I hate when people say Gai ignored Tenten and Neji in favor of Lee because we se SO MANY scenes where Gai has the whole team training together. This is less of a headcanon but Gai knows his primary skill set is in general taijutsu techniques, so he makes all of his students drill those until they’re second nature, and then leaves Neji and Tenten to learn their respective specialties on their own with a bit of input or advice from him. Neji’s specialized Hyuuga techniques or Tenten’s weapon mastery aren’t something he has direct knowledge on, but his taijutsu mastery does allow him to be able to give them help in whatever small ways he can. he has an easier time with Lee who directly learns all of Gai’s techniques, but he does not neglect his other students’ training when he’s helping Lee.

Tenten is the first one to learn about Neji’s blind spot, through pure accident. I’ve spoken about this in a previous post but Tenten is very exacting and has a good eye for detail. She canonically loves being a “detective” of sorts, figuring things out and cracking puzzles. I think she starts noticing patterns as Neji dodges her weapon barrages; there are certain spots where he always gets nicked because he dodges late, almost as if he can’t see them in time to get out of the way. She manages to figure out he has some kind of blind spot, and knowing how blunt she is, she probably just goes right up to him and asks.

Tenten figuring out his blind spot is probably what gets Neji to open up to her about his seal, and asking her to help him train his Rotation. He knows she managed to figure out one clan secret already, and she’s been fairly helpful so far in his training, he supposes knowing one more won’t really make a huge difference

Tenten is a great secret keeper. Unless Lee is the one asking. Something about his face and her bond with him just has her spilling every secret to him whether she intended to or not

Lee started training with Gai while he was still in the Academy. They definitely wouldn’t have let him graduate if his none of his skills were good, so I think at a certain point, Gai took notice of him as an Academy student and started helping him. Lee just suddenly started getting Really Fucking Good at taijutsu and all the other Academy kids were like “what the hell” when they realized they’re suddenly losing to the class’ former dead-last

These three could not work together for shit when they first started out. Gai literally had them taking out extra D-ranks on purpose during their first year as genin simply because they couldn’t stop fighting long enough to work together effectively. Their bond that they built is due to several long LONG hours of running punishment laps for fighting.

All of them see Gai as a father figure. Of course we all know this about them but still. for Tenten, Gai is the first major male role model in her life, of course he very quickly becomes a father figure to her. For Lee, Gai is everything he wants to live up to, and they look so alike that of course Lee sees him like a father. With Neji, it’s a bit more complicated, but after losing his father, he hasn’t really had many other good familial relationships within his clan. It’s probably almost comforting to him how different Gai is from Hiashi and the Hyuuga Elders. I think he ends up confiding in Gai a lot and relying on him emotionally.

I’ve written a snippet of this too but Tenten is the first one to kill someone on a mission and Gai helps her through it. She gets through it the quickest of the three as well, but it does fuck her up for a bit because of how soon it is.

it became a tradition that whoever won the three-way sparring match that day to pick what they get for lunch. the winner also gets their food paid for. the longer this goes on the more frequent the visits to spicy curry shops get.

[s0fter-sin]

one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules

the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)

almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)

they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning

(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)

even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)

so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim

it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character

the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring

we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)

it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other

sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[wu-wakfu-undertale]

Re-watching wakfu for the first time in years and s1 Yugo was so silly???

dude discovered he could make portals at will and his first thought after actually acknowledging it is "i can do so many cool pranks with this"

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

[sapphorror]

Y'know... A lot of ZaDr fics have them either gradually drifting into a less contentious status quo or establishing a deeply bizarre multilayered dynamic that is nonetheless very consistent and beholden to its own rules—which works, to be clear, because slavish adherence to the rhythm of their endless 'game' is already their canon baseline.

WITH THAT BEING SAID. I think it would be very funny to depict a ZaDr dynamic in which they're like, on-again off-again nemeses. As they get older theyre gradually forced to acknowledge the true depth of their mutual attachment, but instead of actually improving themselves in any lasting way or compromising the conflicting elements into an ill-definable state of contentious codependence, they just start oscillating wildly between periods of obscenely clingy allyship and devotedly murderous enmity. There's never an in between. They'll dedicate all their energy to trying to horrifically torture each other to death, until one of them gets uncomfortably close to actually dying or an external crisis pushes them together or they just get bored—at which point, they become obnoxiously glued at the hip until one of them relapses into anxiety about their ambitions or an argument escalates past the the point of no return or they just get bored. And every time they both Really Mean It, They're Not Gonna Do This Anymore, before naturally going ahead and doing it again

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two