#i have heard this on like five podcasts in two weeks

[thetourguidebarbie]

goyim stop saying "judeochristian" challenge 🫠

[arthurdrakoni]

Residents of Proserpina Park is a mythology audio drama. It is currently funding season 4 and 5 on Indiegogo. I’m call on all of you to help however you can.

Hello everyone. I’ve got another call to action for all of you. As you might, or might not know, @proserpinapark is currently funding not one, but two new seasons coming out later this year. I’m calling on all of you to do your part to help out.

So, some of you might be wondering what is Residents of Proserpina Park. Why, it is a monster of the week, anime-inspired audio drama. Think like Percy Jackson meets Pokémon meets Scooby-Doo, with a dash of Jackie Chan Adventures thrown in. Throw all that good stuff into the blender, and you’ve got an excellent audio drama.

Residents of Proserpina Park follows a young woman named Alina who discovers a park that is, basically, a nature reserve for mythological creatures. Each episode follows Alina and the gang meeting a new creature from across World Mythology and Folklore. At the same time, they are try to uncover the mysteries of the park itself.

One thing I love about RoPP is shear variety of creatures. We got creatures Filipino Mythology, Māori Mythology, Lenape Folklore, Aztec Mythology, Lithuanian Folklore, and a whole lot more.

Now for a bit about the people who make RoPP possible. Series creator Angela Yih has worked on podcasts for Realm, Pod People, and more. Their credits include shows such as Overleaper, Echo Park, Blood Forest, and Harley Quinn and the Joker: Sound Mind!

The point being, Angela knows their stuff. But not just the technical stuff. They’ve also got quite a few voice acting credits under their belt. Angela has lent their voice to works such as Dreamscape Highway, Mx. Bad Luck, Omega Star 7, and even The Books of Thoth.

And what about the rest of the gang? We are over fifty percent people of color, fifty percent female, and I’m autistic. We have performers from all walks of life, and we’re all very passionate about bringing these mythological stories to life for your listening pleasure.

But okay, what’s in it for you? I’m very glad you asked. You see, you’ve got six different options to choose from. Or you can donate a custom amount with no perks. But if you do what perks, here’s what your options are…

$5 - Tourist

All the shoutouts! Shoutouts on social media, on our website, and in the last episode of season 4 for being an awesome supporter

$15 - Visitor

Early access to ad-free episodes a week in advance as well as all the perks from the Tourist Tier

$30 - Local

A digital copy of the official Residents of Proserpina Park Light Novel, which is a collection of short stories focused on the characters from the show, and all the perks from the previous tiers.

$50 - Member

A physical copy of the official Residents of Proserpina Park Light Novel plus other merchandise and all the perks from the previous tiers.

$100 - Resident

Learn what it’s like to be on the show or work on an audio drama. Work with Angela Yih and be featured in a bonus episode in season 5 as well as all the perks from the previous tiers!

$300 - VIP

Become an executive producer on Residents of Proserpina Park and be credited in season 4 and 5! Determine a creature for season 6 as well as all the perks from the previous tiers.

So far we have raised $696, and I contributed $306 out of that. But you don’t have to contribute as much as I did. Small drops fill the bucket, and every little bit helps. If you aren’t financially able to help, then I would only ask you help spread the word, and encourage others to pitch in. We can all do our part to make season four and season five the best seasons of RoPP yet.

So, you have heard the call the action. Now the ball is in your court. Do your part out to help the Residents of Proserpina Park Indiegogo campaign however you are able.

Link to the Residents of Proserpina Park Indiegogo: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/residents-of-proserpina-park-season-4-and-5-launch/x/29874655#/

[karasbroken]

This week we're getting a tiny scene once again from my favorite episode, The Way We Weren't, and then a little bonus moment because I can't help myself. John listening to Aeryn talk about Velorek and having all kinds of emotions about it.

"So... uh......mm.... y--........ Did you love him?"

It's just a masterclass in subtle character interactions, where when you really know the characters there's just so much happening, in five seconds of hemming and hawing. This is slightly slowed down, just so I can enjoy the journey Ben Browder takes us on.

I'm going to cut tag because I love your dash, but click for rambling and bonus gif.

It starts with him still processing that Aeryn called Velorek her "lover", because as he says, John's "never heard her use that word before". He's smiling, his eyes are lit up--it seems like it's slightly baffling and wondrous to him how she's talking, because it's so unlike her to be that effusive. I assume Aeryn has talked about sex before with John (see my collected works), but always in a dismissive or utilitarian way.

But the way he bites his lip makes it also clear that his reaction is so strong and complex that he needs to suppress it. To hold back until he can actually understand why he's having so many feelings about a simple word, and get himself under control. John always shows his emotions in his mouth.

Then we see him start to stutter as he realizes that this Velorek person--who he's never heard of before despite over a year of spending most of their waking hours together--was deeply important to Aeryn, as a sexual partner, but also apparently something more than sexual. And John's never even realized that she could feel something more than friendship for someone, sexual relationship or not. Or at least that she might realize she was feeling something more than sexual attraction, since John has seen other instances of her having emotions she didn't know how to name.

And then it clicks--that little frown--and he gets serious again as he realizes that this means Aeryn understands romantic love. And there's so many possibilities he never let himself believe in before because of that revelation. Aeryn can take a lover. Not just a recreation partner, a lover. You can see the hope start to tip the corners of his lips up, as he turns back to her and he has to ask the question. "Did you love him?"

But then for the last part of the trip I have to add in this little clip from a few seconds later, after Aeryn confirms that she would say now that it was love...

"Right."

I remember listening to some audio podcast that normally I mostly agreed with--maybe it was Muppets, Sex & Trauma, but it could have been So Farscape or Bizarre Podcast: Space Puppets. Whichever it was, the commenters on this scene were lauding that John hadn't done the typical thing of being jealous that Aeryn had a sexual past. And I had to just stop listening for a second because, yes, it's quiet. You have to be watching closely. It helps to see the two moments right after each other, because in these gifs you can really see the tonal shift between cuts, from excited to reserved. But wow, John is clearly, to me, momentarily consumed with a jealousy he wasn't expecting. (Ben confirmed this in audio commentary, as I recall.)

The lips again, as always, are John's tell. He presses them together, his whole mouth flattening for a second, as he feels the surge. His gaze breaks again, from meeting Aeryn's eyes to looking inward as he deals with his emotions. And then the bobbing of his Adam's apple as he gulps, choking back some array of responses that he isn't going to let himself express.

Right after this he tries to almost literally shake it off, a little head shift, like he needs to crack his neck to relieve tension, and then he's moved on, because this conversation is not about him and his feelings about Aeryn having had this deep connection with someone in the past. He knows that. He is mature enough to expect Aeryn to have had a past, and I don't think he's feeling actually possessive of her, or disappointment that she's not an emotional virgin, or anything similarly toxic.

But this person, who he has all these unspoken feelings for--unspoken at least partially because he has assumed for a while now that Aeryn would never return or even understand love the way he did--has just revealed that she does know love, and has experienced it so deeply and painfully that it can render her more vulnerable then he has ever seen her. And yeah, for one little second, he has to feel that jealousy and anger (because this past relationship hurt her), and then has to swallow that down. And I don't think the less of John for it.

[saleintothe90s]

Daily press, September 28, 1989

The more things change, the more they stay the same. 35 years ago people in South Carolina were still reeling from Hurricane Hugo. Very strange how people could just go to someone's house to donate (see left column) back then.

Imagine getting ready to get on a plane to London when you collapse at the airport.

I'd never heard of the comic Outland, it was a spinoff of Bloom County that ran only on Sundays. Here is Mortimer Mouse:

(eBay seller Erickson Comics and Paper)

I found this Sunday night, and then Monday night, I find out that Pete Rose died! VHS Tapes Old newspapers are magic.

Even in 1989, the clothes in these A&N ads already looked outdated. It was always like this with them. I could pull up a newspaper from 1994, and the clothes would look like the clothes people wore in ... 1989.

ooh, we have a Phar-Mor alert. We were not a Phar-Mor family, we did not visit the mythical store known as Phar-Mor. My mom said that area was too crowded. It was like a giant variety store with a pharmacy, right?

I was nosy, and looks like they broke up in 2001. So the Yorks were trying to gain "custody" of their embryo from a lab in Norfolk (they lived in California). I'm not sure if the couple were successful at having children though.

Oh no! It's our boy David Merritt! We remember him from the August 1, 1993 newspaper entry. Remember, his restaurant didn't open until 1992, and was hyping that it was going to open on April 7, 1990.

These ads are magnificent.

Old Mill? I gotta say it:

For you dead mall fans out there, both Outlets Ltd and Great American Outlet Mall are long gone.

I never thought that My Two Dads needed one censor, let alone two. I gotta watch My Two Dads, it has Paul Reiser and Dana from Step by Step! I love that podcast she has with Christine Lakin about Step by Step.

Speaking of censorship, STOPLESS GIRLS. I looked up the address, and looks like it was torn down.

No Cathy in this strip, but there are Fax jokes. Remember faxing in your lunch order? Onion rolls seem so old skool, I feel like I remember seeing them at the bakery at the grocery store when I was a real little kid, and then never again. Is it a regional thing? Do people not eat onion rolls in Hampton Roads anymore?

Garfield was upsetting that day.

OH I almost forgot. Speaking of upsetting:

A man on his bike was hit by a car down the street from the newspaper offices. So just you know, walk down the street and take a photo of it and put it on the front page of the local section. I hope Allen was ok. The McDonalds where it happened is long gone, but the building remains.

/edit/

So the day I went to publish this, I had to take the long way home from Suffolk, and I drove by this intersection on my way to the James River Bridge. Old newspapers ARE magic.

I know we make jokes about certain people putting raisins in potato salad, but what about raisins in your chicken.

I love the names of these raisin recipes! Silk Stockings?! Model T?! I would try a lil bite of each of these.

I can't remember where I mentioned this place, but it amuses me SO MUCH that back in the day you could go to Coliseum Mall and buy steaks.

wait. Bryers made jelly? I wonder if that's the same fruit that was in that yogurt they used to make that was so good. Breyers ice cream is soo bad now.

!! This was my friend Paul's mom! I about flipped when I saw this. This is exactly how five year old me remembers her. She would give me rides to school sometimes in her old jeep and would pick my mom up for room mothers.

Finally, this Eastern Airlines ad is beautiful. They had about a year and a half left, closed in 1991.

I completely forgot to post for September, I got 🦠 at the end of August that went into the first week of September, then I had to get ready for the Norfolk Zine fest, then then this weekend? Is Richmond Zine fest. Don't forget, my zines are available on my Etsy shop.

And there's a new design over at my TeePublic.

Facebook | Etsy | Retail History Blog | Twitter | YouTube Playlist | Random Post | Ko-fi donation | instagram / threads @thelastvcr​ | tik tok @ saleintothe90s | TeePublic Store

[trulybetty]

dec' x 30 - silence

Prompt: silence Pairing: tim rockford x reader Word Count: 855 Warnings: true crime references, smoking, Christmas traditions, playing fast and loose with facts to make this work Summary: it's a frosty night when you think you hear Tim arrive home, only to met with silence. AO3: Linked

x. masterlist

You padded down the stairs convinced you’d heard the door unlock. You’d paused at your desk, one AirPod out of your ear straining to hear the familiar sounds of Tim emptying the contents of his pockets on the hallway console, but silence filled your ears.

A tentative step off the last of the staircase into further quietude had the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. Instinct told you to call out Tim’s name. But three years of true crime podcasting and a decade before that in law had your voice caught in the back of your throat.

Stepping further into the hallway, a cold chill whisked around you, eliciting a shiver. It was minus something fierce outside, meaning none of the windows should be open.

Which meant only one thing. 

Turning on your heel in the direction of the kitchen you saw him. Well, you saw the lit end of the cigarette he was smoking first. The glow illuminated through the glass of the sliding doors that let out to the modest deck. 

Grabbing your thick knitted cardigan that you’d left hanging on the back of the kitchen chair, you crossed the now chilled tile floor, pausing only to slip on your shoes reserved for pottering around the garden, and slid the back door open. 

He exhaled smoke and tapped the end of the cigarette before speaking, “I thought you’d be asleep.”

“I was editing.”

While an easy silence fell between you, you could feel the tension coming off of him in waves. 

“Rough day?”

He exhaled a cloud of smoke out of the corner of his mouth and away from you.

“If you can call it that.”

“Talk to me,” you urged, stepping closer, watching as another puff of smoke curled into the night air, mingling with the frost that hung heavy.

He flicked the cigarette, sending a spray of embers cascading to the ground, a stark contrast against the snow. “Just the usual,” he said, but the way he avoided your gaze told you it was anything but usual.

The silence stretched, filled only by the distant sound of a car passing on the street and the occasional rustle of the wind. You wrapped your cardigan tighter around yourself, stepping closer to him and with the hand that wasn’t holding the lit cigarette, he pulled you against him. While he may not have had the words to say it, he was grateful for your presence. 

“Tell me about the case you’re working on for this week's episode,” he said, before you heard him take another drag of his cigarette.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, nuzzling your head against his chest, “It’s about this year's Kentucky Derby.”

“Equine true crime now?” you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Keeping it light for the holidays,” you responded with a jab to his side, earning you a small laugh and kiss to the top of your head, “there’s been an update on the theft of the purse.”

“Wasn’t it like three mill or something?”

You nodded, “Yup, but it never was missing.”

“No?”

“Nope, seemed like it was just a cover for a more interesting theft. The entire collection of past Derby Trophies, all fifty of them.”

“How does no one notice a whole collection go missing?” Tim asked, and you heard another intake of breath from his cigarette.

“Fakes,” you yawned, the crisp fresh air filling your lungs, “they only noticed this week that the entire collection had been switched out. 18-karat gold and raw material alone running at ninety thousand dollars a pop.” 

Tim let out a low whistle, “How much is that alone?”

“Four point five mill for the material alone, and that’s nothing on the value in trade for its worth on the collectors market. Pales in comparison to the pitiful three million purse they were running around after.”

Another silence fell between the two of you, taking in the silence of the night that surrounded you. Punctuated only by sounds of far-off traffic and the sway of the tree branches from the neighbours' yard. The chill in the air told you that snow would soon be on its way.

“I have something else that might lighten the mood,” you ventured, a small smile playing on your lips despite the sombre atmosphere.

Tim turned, an eyebrow raised in a silent question.

You gave him a wide grin, “Two words, matching pj’s.”

It caught him off guard, and a small, reluctant smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Matching pyjamas? Really Cagney? You know how I feel about that.”

You chuckled, knowing full well how much he secretly enjoyed the silly tradition you had started since your first Christmas together. “But you love it. Admit it, it's the highlight of your festive season.”

He hung his head reluctantly not wanting to admit that he found the tradition endearing. He stubbed out the remainder of his cigarette. 

You reached out, taking his hand and pulling him back toward the warmth of the house. “Come on, let's go get warm and I'll show you this year's selection.”

[bad-aew-discourse]

AEW Double-or-Nothing Preview

AEW, a company that has been circling the drain for five years, has another premium live event tonight, so I'm going to spend my short time on earth dunking on a show I don't watch.

When Chris Jericho was in WWE, he was a legend and the first ever Undisputed Champion, but in AEW, he's the guy who had a mediocre WrestleMania 18 main event. A title with the prestigious lineage of the For the World Championship shouldn't be defended in a triple-threat match, against a guy with a generic "The Wrestler" gimmick and Hook, who will definitely be in WWE next month. This Shibata guy probably wins because he seems like Meltzer fave and that's the only person Tony Khan books for.

Ugh, Dean Ambrose has fallen so far that AEW had to make up yet another title just to give him something to do. He isn't even defending this made up belt against this guy I've never heard of! 🤣😂🤣 Anyway, this Takeshita guy definitely wins because champions always lose nontitle matches to build to rematches. Obvious. 🥱

Jeeze, will AEW please fire whoever is in their graphics department? They can't even be bothered to color in their Women's Champion! 🤣😂🤣 Anyway, Toni Storm isn't getting a reaction from the crowd, and Deeb, despite being a poor worker, is a natural babyface, so Tony should switch the title here because it is time to shake things up.

An absolute waste of natural superstar Roderick Strong who could be main eventing an important show like Main Event if he had stayed in WWE, yet here he is in the minor leagues babysitting a rookie who tattooed an attendance figure on his arm. I don't know, man. Will Ospreay just isn't developing as a star and really should have gone to NXT. Tony Khan probably puts the title on Ospreay here, even though he is completely not ready to be in that big of a spotlight. Expect a lot of blown spots. At least it will give AEW Botches plenty of content! 😂🤣😂

Why is this a premium-live event match?? These guys go out there and kill the ratings every week (according to the old guy podcast I follow), and and there is a absolutely no story. This is just a match happening to have a match with guys who get no reaction from the crowd. I know, I know, AEW is just indie wrestling workrate garbage, but a little sports entertainment wouldn't kill them. This is a good time to take a bathroom break without missing anything. Orange Cassidy probably wins, continuing Tony Khan shoving his pet projects down our throat

Trios match going to be so boring fr fr 🥱🥱

Another match with zero story?? Classic AEW!! 🤣😂🤣 Edge is an absolute legend who wrestled The Greatest Wrestling Match of All Time with Randy Orton, but he has done nothing since going to AEW. No feuds with his best friend. No being corrupted by Malakai's influence, possibly reverting him to being the evil Master Manipulator he used to be. Zero stakes, but AEW will probably paint over all of their botches with blood. I guess Edge wins, but it's really hard to care with nothing on the line.

Although I'm not watching this show, I'm still boycotting this match. The Young Bucks are the worst thing in wrestling. They can't work. They get zero reaction. And I think it's disgusting how they personally fired Cody Rhodes. Even worse, they are now featuring Jack Perry, a man who went up to famously good dude CM Punk and bullied Punk until the Bucks could personally fire him. Absolutely disgusting behavior, and their partner Kazuchika Okada is some indie loser no one has ever heard of. I feel so sorry for Daniel Bryan. He has to team with some goth kid trying to be Cora Jade and two guys who look like a diet version of The Revival. Let's just get through this mess so Bryan can get back to WWE and get his career back on track.

This match.

What a mess.

Mercedes Mone is a megastar, but her handling in AEW has been so, so bad.

Like, Mone is getting boos. She is your obvious babyface because she is the bigger star, and she is getting booed. Do you know how hard it is to get fans to turn like that?? Either Willow Nightingale has done a fantastic job getting people behind her (which, lol, I can't allow that possibility to fit into my worldview) or AEW is total garbage and will be dead by August. Expect an absolute heatless mess as the crowd hijacks this. Mercedes should win and be booked to be invincible, going over all of these AEW losers, but who knows what cocaine-addled Tony Khan will actually do?

How depressing is this?

Since winning the title last month, Swerve has barely been on the shows. If AEW were really behind him, he would be on practically every show, every week. He would be the focus in the opening segments. They would do countdown timers to his matches. He would be involved, even loosely, with the most important storylines like what is going on with The Elite. He would be facing adversity like having the stablemates he neglected turn on him.

But, no, I have seen none of that happen as I spend my Wednesday nights hate posting.

And, so, Swerve is defending his title against an absolutely heatless tag team wrestler, Christian Cage, who hasn't done anything of note since the TLC matches of the early 2000s. Why would anyone care? Swerve has no history with any members of Cage's Patriarchy, especially not Nick Wayne who got attacked in his own home and bloodied in his dead father's ring last year. Swerve and Cage never lost a high-profile tag team match at AEW's biggest show, which also happened to be the time Swerve turned on his friend AR Fox to side with Christian Cage which might matter if Swerve were doing a redemption arc. Just . . . I don't know. This is a perfect example of why no one in the r/AEWSucks subreddit cares about AEW.

So, there you have it, one more AEW premium live event that no one will care about or even watch. If you want to see some actually good wrestling with stories, you should check out yesterday's King and Queen of the Ring from Saudi Arabia and certainly not AEW Double or Nothing LIVE on PPV and Bleacher Report from Las Vegas, Nevada.

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

AAAAAAA ur reading house of leaves??? im buying that next week thats so cool! do u have any book recs? or recs in general shows movies etc

I AM!! I'm several chapters in and super enjoying it, although reading it alone in a tiny hotel room in the middle of nowhere was a Distinct Mistake.

As for recs! I'm going to specifically go for stuff that isn't super mainstream, in the hopes that I'll recommend you something you have never heard of before. Here's some stuff for you!

Podcasts

Dreamboy - one-season podcast from Night Vale Presents, definitely one of their less-known ones. Explicit in places, what I would describe as AO3 M-rated sex scenes. A worn-out musician ends up embroiled in inexplicable events in a small town, and also there's a murderous zebra and fossils that want to fuck. It's a musical cinematic podcast masterpiece, I'll always be sad there's only one season.

Apocrypals - nonfiction. Two non-believers read through the Bible and try not to be jerks about it. If you're interested in theology and apocryphal texts but have no idea where to start, this is such a good place. The hosts are delightful, and have a really nice way of taking you through all the various layers of Biblical scholarly nonsense. Considerable backlog of episodes, but worth listening through from the beginning. Weirdly, there's continuity.

Til Death Do Us Blart - five poor fools watch Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 every Thanksgiving from now until the end of eternity, and report back yearly on their mental state. You may think to yourself 'wow, that doesn't sound like a good time'. It isn't, to the hosts. To anyone listening along, it's fucking hilarious. Nine episodes so far, and it's a single episode per year, so plenty of time to catch up.

Web Series

The Monument Mythos - Several seasons. surreal analogue horror alternate history of America told through a series of videos of varying format. Brilliantly absurd, fucked up, and horrifying by turns (sometimes all at once).

No Evil - ongoing animated series, made mostly by a single person. Please don't immediately wave it off because of the colorful anthropormorphic animals. The mythology is amazing, the animation is sublime, and the music is haunting. The pacing is a bit strange at first, and you may be confused at the way the plot moves, but you have to understand that it's all part of its charm. I think about No Evil way too much.

Dances Moving - you may know Brian David Gilbert from his work at Polygon, and his more recent absurdist Youtube ventures. This is from way before that! It's a fun and gradually heartwrenching musical exploration of a local dance group and what it means to move away from home. Seven short episodes.

ENA - this one is a bit more mainstream, so you may know it already. Who knows what's going on in the world of ENA? Definitely not me. Absurdism at its finest. Bizarre architecture, strange characters, if it's a metaphor I don't know what it's about, but the vibes are immaculate. Three actual episodes of varying length, apparently there's a video game set to come out soon-ish?

An Unauthorized Fan Treatise - serialized story. If you're a fan of internet drama a la Msscribe, you're going to adore it. It's a fiction story about a fictional fandom, and one massively messed up person who decides that two of the lead actors in her favorite show are secretly dating and sets out to prove it with a cited multi-chapter essay. And then it gets wild.

Comics

The Property of Hate - a wonderfully dynamic and colorful webcomic about a young girl getting chosen to become a make-believe world's Hero. Puns and wordplay galore. Absolutely delightful characters and worldbuilding. Ongoing.

Eat the Rich - a young woman goes to meet her boyfriend's extremely rich family, and learns their horrifying secret. Warning: cannibalism. 5 issues, complete.

Beanworld - impossible to describe, but I'll try. An absurdist semiabstract musing on the nature of life and cycles and community, set in a world where the rules are weirdly two-dimensional and you as a reader get weirdly invested in the routines and cycles that the inhabitants follow. And all of the main characters are cute lil bean guys. If you read anything on this list, do this one. (Linked is the only online version I could find, and it's not up-to-date. I own all the omnibuses in print. If you liked what you read here, I recommend tracking them down too.)

Short Stories (in no particular order, and certainly not all my favorites - just the ones I had bookmarked and on hand)

Bride, Knife, Flaming Horse - a young Indian woman looks for marriage in the fantastical, and finds several suitors

Fish (in 13 sections) - an obsessive unpacks a bewildering insult. Just, really fun.

Fandom For Robots - a robot discovers anime, and definitely doesn't have big feelings about it

Informed Consent Logs From The Soul-Swap Clinic - two people decide to swap bodies, for somewhat murky reasons.

The Magician's Apprentice - a young girl learns magic from her mentor. This one's about grooming. But not like that. But also a lot like that. But also it's so much more fucked up than that. (This one is a MEGA favorite, it's by Tamsyn Muir. Who you may recognize as the author of the Locked Tomb series - I'd rec that too here, if it wasn't definitely too mainstream for what I'm going for. Read this. And also read the Locked Tomb.)

The Tale of the Foolish King Who Banished Music - it's a snippet of a longer Doctor Who audio drama, but stands so nicely on its own. Unnerving little fairy tale.

The Spider - 1908 horror story about a man trying to figure out why so many men have spontaneously committed suicide in a specific hotel room. It's basically a TMA statement, in more ways than one.

Video Games

What Did Veronica Dream Of? - strange little rpgmaker puzzle game. Obtuse and weird, and I adore it. I wish I could explain why.

Secret Little Haven - point-and-click about being a trans girl on the internet in 1999. Completely nails the tone it's going for. Period-typical homo- and transphobia.

Linelith - a short (1-hour) puzzle game with no plot and no characters, and yet it contains one of the greatest plot-twists of all time. I'm begging you to play it immediately.

Lingo - puzzle game about linguistics, words, non-Euclidean goemetry, and figuring out an endless series of rules in a constantly expanding world. RIDICULOUSLY clever and good, and I've been playing it almost continuously for the last few months. It's got so much content for such a reasonable price, and the community-made maps add even more content (and are also excellent). If English isn't your first language, you may struggle, but otherwise - grab a bunch of friends and stream it. It's better with friends helping you out, I can guarantee it.

For A Change - a 1999 interactive fiction game about raising the sun in a world where words do not mean what you think they mean. If you're familiar with old text-based games, go ahead and play it - otherwise, you may want to read this transcript of a group of people playing it together instead.

Other Things

Carmilla - the classic 1800s lesbian vampire novella. I read it very recently, and it's extremely good. Absolutely delivers on the lesbian vampire premise in full gory detail, although do be aware that it was written in the context of homophobic fear.

Alberio - very fun light musical about two siren brothers reconnecting under less-than-ideal circumstances.

Mosquitoes - stage play about life and families and physics (theoretical and practical both). Very heavy topics, pulls no punches. The Boson's final monologue always wrecks me.

Ghost Quartet - musical/song cycle/experience about love, death, alcohol, and (of course) ghosts. Lots of cyclical stories and time travel weirdness. All of the songs are incredible.

Yankee and the Foreigners - music group that performs delightful upbeat covers of songs in animal onesies. Their Bare Necessities cover is a favorite of mine.

I'm sure there's lots more things I could rec (not a lot of books or movies here, huh? sorry about that. I immediately forgot everything I've ever read and watched) but these were the things that came to mind when I sat down and wrote this list, so hopefully there's something new and good for you in here!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I made a post a year ago, I think, about how I enjoy that this site has a few blogs that are entirely dedicated to being obsessed with Tim Key, so everyone once in a while I’ll open Tumblr and be flooded with images of Tim Key, because the Tim Key blogs have decided to be active today, and I guess it’s Tim Key Monday.

Well, this time, for once, it’s been Tim Key Week in my comedy calendar, and it’s been a good time. Here are some things this week has covered:

- It started because Tim Key recently went on RHLSTP, and someone recommended it to me, so I listened to that latest episode. This was the first episode I’d ever heard of that podcast (aside from that YouTube video of the car crash with Stewart Lee) because I’m not a massive fan of Richard Herring, but I really enjoyed that one. So then I listened to the other three appearances that Tim Key has made on there, all within the last few years, because Tim Key has been very busy with writing books lately (just putting out his third book since the start of COVID) and keeps going on there to promote them. But then he ends up not promoting them, and just spending the whole time talking shit about Richard Herring.

God, he’s ridiculously quick. He just goes right into character and stays there the entire time, he can take anything Richard Herring says and spin it around in a split second and hit him back with it. Really sharp and can make absolutely anything funny. Literally anything. I re-watched that DVD extra interview he did with Simon Amstell last night, and that really highlighted how much he can make the most mundane thing in the world hilarious.

It's amazing style, I think. Be just a few steps outside of what is normal and reasonable to say, but say it with full confidence, and then ask other people what’s wrong with them when they don’t keep up. I’d previously seen him do it for five sets of No More Jockeys, and delighted in hearing he’s like that all the time.

- I enjoyed that, so got sent some more Tim Key things. His Radio 4 documentaries, of which I had heard one before, because it featured Kitson, and earlier this year I did my huge trek through every weird tiny thing where Daniel Kitson might have had even the most obscure role (I watched a terrible movie called Dog Eat Dog, the rabbit hole went deep, and the rabbit hole contained a Tim Key documentary about a Russian novelist). But I hadn’t heard some others, so I spent an evening listening to Tim Key talk about Russian poets and writers and how to start a novel, and that was lovely. I enjoyed that.

- But the main things I got were a couple of recordings of his old stand-up shows, and this album he recorded in 2010, called On a Boat With a String Quartet, where he reads poetry and talks shit to Tom Basden. I really, really enjoyed listening to Tim Key read poetry and talk shit to Tom Basden. I realized I have heard that before, as they were together on season 2 of Mark Watson Makes the World Substantially Better, and on Mark Watson’s Live Address to the Nation, and they did basically the same thing there. This album made me remember how much I enjoyed those radio shows, partly because of how much I enjoy listening to Tim Key read poetry and talk shit to Tom Basden. “Wow,” I thought. “I wish there were only some way of hearing more of Tim Key reading poetry while talking shit to Tom Basden.” Then I remembered he has a five-season radio show that I’ve somehow never heard before.

- So next on the list was the Late Night Poetry Programme, which I’d been vaguely meaning to listen to “at some point” for ages, and this was clearly that time. God, it was good. I’d heard Tim’s poems before in various contexts, but really enjoyed hearing so many of them at once. And the soundscape was nice. And of course it was fun when he talked shit to Tom Basden.

I think the first few seasons were pretty well perfect, just those two in a studio with little hints of their life outside it, dropped through a line or a word or two, throwaway jokes where the meaning hits you a little at a time as you realize what it implies about the life they live. It was cool at first, when they started opening it up and we actually saw that bigger world that they’d been teasing for a while. By season 5, I have to admit, I felt like it had gone too far. Which they acknowledged several times, Tom Basden making comments that they’d gotten too far away from season 1 and Tim Key doesn’t even read his poems anymore. But I did kind of think the character was right. The sitcom was still fun, I enjoyed every episode. But I think my favourties were when it was just two people in a studio reading poetry.

Katy Wix was good, though. And I did enjoy the guest stars throughout all five seasons. That turned into a game that I was able to play due to my abysmal lack of talent for identifying people based on the sound of their voice alone. Because I’m so bad at it, I avoided looking at the notes beforehand, and tried to guess who that episode’s guest voice actor was, and would then hear in the credits whether I was right. I was quite bad at it. I went through an entire episode with Sally Phillips, and two entire episodes with Mike Wozniak, convinced that they were played by people I’d never heard before, even though I know both those voices quite well.

I only guessed a few. By the end of Isy Suttie’s episode, I was about 80% sure it was Suttie, and then I turned out to be right. I got Bridget Christie’s voice right away, though that’s partly because I knew from a No More Jockey’s episode that she’d show up at some point, and she hadn’t been on it yet and this was the last episode, so it had to be her. The only voice where I was immediately, 100% sure who it was was when they had Liam Williams on. Absolutely no question there. That is an extremely distinctive voice, it was almost distracting because every time he spoke I just thought “Oh it’s Liam Williams” rather than believing it was a farmer or whatever.

- After that, I wanted even more Key & Basden, and I remembered how Stuart Goldsmith says that his best evidence for why TV isn’t a meritocracy is that Cowards never got more than three TV episodes. So I downloaded those TV episodes. But of course I have to do things in order, so first I downloaded the radio episodes. Did the radio show and then the TV show.

I really liked those, and I’m often not big on sketch comedy. These were fucking great, though. The TV show had quite a few sketches that I could see myself re-watching on YouTube one at a time. And that’s nice, because for years I’ve done that regularly with Mitchell and Webb, but these days I watch those and have trouble enjoying them as much because, you know, transphobia. I guess I should stop being shocked when it turns out that Footlights men from the early 00s may not be the most clued-up people in the world about trans issues (Webb, Ayoade). But if Tim Key or Tom Basden or those other two guys (sorry, I do vaguely know they both have quite good careers in their own right, but in my mind they are those other two guys) in Cowards have any views on trans people whatsoever, I’d like them to keep that to themselves so I can have some new sketches to re-watch on YouTube without feeling guilty. No more Footlights guys from the early 00s should be allowed to talk about trans people (except John Oliver, actually Mark Watson’s made some pro-trans rights statements too, they can stay).

Anyway, the point is that I really enjoyed the sketches. They all seemed so cohesive – the characters, and the plots, and the actors. A lot of sketches didn’t end on huge punchlines, which I always think is the sign of a good sketch, if it’s funny enough to get laughs throughout and not just for a twist at the end. Really good stuff. I see Stuart Goldsmith’s point.

- Then I still hadn’t had enough Key & Basden on Radio 4, so I downloaded the sitcom Party. That was pretty good. The jokes were consistent and funny, which is the main point. I have to admit the premise didn’t work quite as well today as it might have then, which is not Tom Basden’s fault, as you can’t have expected him to foresee the fall of Western civilization back in 2010. In 2010, I remember that the idea of naïve youths involved in politics was funny. Straw feminists and all that. Whereas these days, the situation is so dire that if I see a young person who’s politically engaged, I don’t want to make fun of them for being underinformed anymore. I just want to say “Thank you for doing anything besides making Tik-Tok videos and listening to Joe Rogan while Rome burns.”

Having said that, the point of this show was not exactly to be hard-hitting satire of student politics, it was to be a vehicle for jokes. And it did that very well. It was funny. The characters were good, too. Five different main characters it a lot for a sitcom that started with only four half-hour episodes, but by the end of the very first episode, I had a clear idea of who was who. I could tell their voices apart, which helps (Tim Key’s voice I know, Tom Basden’s voice sounds a bit too similar to Johnny Sweet’s but I could tell them apart if I tried hard enough, I can tell Katy Wix’s Welsh accent apart from Anna Crilly). And each character was sufficiently distinctive for me to see why they were there.

- Just today, I watched The One and Only Herb McGwyer Plays Wallis Island, written by and starring Key & Basden. I enjoyed it. Short films, or films in general, aren’t hugely my thing. But I liked the pretty shots of English countryside. I liked the dismal shots of the ocean in bad weather and little rowboats and the old house. And it was a nice story starring a folk singer and an eccentric person, and what more could I want out of some characters?

I know Tim Key has done a bunch of short films before, some with Tom Basden. The only other one I’ve seen is Very Few Fish, which I watched entirely because of that bit at the end of a No More Jockeys episode, where Tim lists all the Taskmaster contestants he has or hasn’t touched, and says he’s kissed Aisling Bea, on screen. I found out that he’d kissed her in this weird short film written by Tom Basden, so I watched that out of curiosity.

And found… it was quite a good film, probably deserved to get more commissioned. But I didn’t like the bit where he made out with Aisling Bea. I’d just watched all this No More Jockeys, where he’s in his house and playing himself so I felt like I knew him. And I don’t want to see people I know graphically make out with other people. It’s like when your friend is doing PDA at a party. It’s even weirder than when a stranger does it, because you just think, I don’t want to see you that way. I know you, I like you, that side of you is meant to be kept behind closed doors please. That’s what Very Few Fish felt like. Like following a friend on a date and watching him make out with someone. It was weird.

That’s an interesting level of parasocial relationship, isn’t it? Watching No More Jockeys has parasoically made me feel like that guy is my friend, but the effect is not for me to try to hang out with him on social media or anything creepy like that, the only effect is I don’t want to watch him kiss anyone. That’s probably okay, as far as these things go.

- Last night, I tried the first episode of We Need Answers. I’d have absolutely loved to see the stage version of this, I have collected pictures and short videos of it from various corners of the internet (including those fucking unhinged promo videos on Alex Horne’s YouTube channel that introduce the contestants), they had all the best comedians and it seems like a great showcase of my peak area of interest, which is 00s Edinburgh comedy.

However, I’ve always avoided the TV show because the list of guests is awful. Almost no comedians, heavy on presenters and reality show people. It didn’t help that the first episode featured noted transphobe Germaine Greer (also, as I always feel the need to add when her name comes up, she wasn’t some perfect feminist who was ruined by going TERF, I always disliked some of the comments she’d made about cis women who didn’t fit the type of womanhood that she liked, and I hate the she’s held us as an example of great feminism). So I’m open to giving it another shot. Does anyone have opinions on whether it gets better in the future? The first episode was all right, but I didn’t enjoy it all that much.

So that is my Tim Key binge. Does anyone have recommendations for things I’ve missed? Especially short films, I know there are other good ones. Happy Tim Key Thursday, everyone!

[jdenvs3000w24]

ROCKS

Hello again fellow bloggers,

The most amazing thing about nature for me is the geology of an area. My main fixation in general is pollinators, as exemplified by my group's podcast, “What the Buzz?” and I love bees and ants and stuff like that. However, anytime I'm out hiking or just exploring, I can't help but get excited about rocks. The geology and topography of an area tell a story that goes back millions of years. For instance, down where I'm from in Nova Scotia there is a place called the Bay of Fundy, I'm sure you've all heard f it considering it is home to the world's highest tides.  Down near a little village named Walton there is a shale beach with a massive cliff and folds in the rocks. 

This cliff face tells the story of two landmasses colliding together to form what is now Nova Scotia. Initially happening long before the Atlantic formed. And then the Bay of Fundy itself formed from the rifting of North America from Africa and Europe. This caused the split in the mountain chain that now has pieces in Morocco, Scotland, the USA, Canada, and Norway!

(pictures taken by me, Walton Cliffs)

A little closer to campus there is a location in Hamilton called the Devil's Punchbowl. I've gone there twice now for class field trips. The Devil's Punchbowl tells a story of the ancient seas and streams that used to run through this area of southwest Ontario. The grains of sand that make up the sandstone tell stories of millions of years ago. The dolomitic capstone of the Niagara Escarpment tells another story, so long as you speak the language of rocks and sediment. 

(another photo by me, Devils Punchbowl)

Another area of Nova Scotia I've hiked through is on the Cape Split Peninsula. This region of the province is located on basaltic bedrock which formed during the same event that formed the Bay of Fundy. Magma pours out of the earth to form the north mountain range which makes up the sea sideward side of the Annapolis valley. The cape is covered in rocks filled with copper ore speckled through basaltic rock. Based on the patterns and the lack of crystallization you can tell that this magma cools very quickly, likely due to a rushing in of seawater after the rifting event. 

(another photo by me, Cape Split Point)

Further up the bay, there are a few islands, near Parrsboro, the indigenous peoples of the area, the Mi’kmaq, called these the five islands. The five islands are part of the legends passed down by the Mi’kmaq people. The story goes that Kluskap, or Glooscap as the settlers called him, who was a giant man, was fighting a giant beaver in the bay. During the fight, Kluskap hurled 5 large boulders at the beaver that formed the islands today, the beaver was said to have been trapped by the boulders and sticks causing him to turn into gold underground. Geologically these islands are exposed parts of the north mountain chain that I talked about earlier but it's neat learning about the indigenous peoples’ folklore, especially when centered around how the landscape was formed. 

Anyways, till next week bloggers!

[3liza]

listening to my wake up stack of podcasts and got mad. the latest episode of America Dissected: Coronavirus came on which i haven't listened to before and the host is interviewing a guy who did an "experiment" of just not showering for an indeterminate amount of time. both of these men are, as far as i can tell based on them talking about their girlfriends etc, probably cis het men, and they have the most basic, unnuanced, ignorant understanding of skincare and bathing. which is very common for that demographic like men of that type are often very neglected as children in terms of being taught HOW and WHY to bathe.

every human culture on earth has a type of bathing/skin care technique, based on their climate and access to safe water. human skin cleaning almost everywhere on earth is comprised of two steps: removing old grease (via soap, new grease, dry clean cloth, sometimes even mud or clay or dust or sand) and then putting new grease on (butter, animal fat, seed oil, etc). most of these techniques are daily or close to it. you cannot, as the host did, compare a human to a cat ("my cats never shower and they're pretty clean!") in terms of cleanliness, humans are designed to constantly exude various greases, waxes and oils to protect our skin because we're bald as hell. we need to be covered in grease to protect us from the elements. that grease is food for bacteria. bacteria stinks. old grease and oil oxidizes and goes rancid even in sealed bottles in our cupboards: you better believe they do the same thing on our skin. oxidized oils stink. and that bacteria can cause infection when given the opportunity. you don't have to take a capitalist shower--another "exciting" discovery by the podcast men and men in general who run these types of "experiments" is that soap and body wash etc are expensive and marketed, wow, this is exciting new information! tell me about how "soap operas" were designed to market soap to housewives i haven't heard that one in five minutes--showering with soap is not counterrevolutionary and it's borderline free (if you're housed--houselessness wasn't discussed on the podcast), you can use any soap you want, many soaps are extremely cheap or free. ditto moisturizer or food oil (it's fine to use food oil for skincare, humans have been doing it for millions of years).

my third complaint is that the shower experiment men (and there are a lot of these guys including my arch nemesis Neil DeGrasse Tyson) never account for nose blindness. at best they ask someone they know if they smell bad after they stop showering and when that person says "no" they get very smug. ah ha. i have beaten the system. i am dirty and yet no one is scolding me. mommy is not yelling at me to get in the shower (this is a different issue of bathing and neglect of young boys but it causes a hell of a lot of neurosis) they never set up an actual blind experiment with strangers to determine whether they stink or not (they do), but in situations where a no-shower guy is among strangers and the issue is forced, they are always reported as stinky, which they dismiss. NDGT did exactly this on some podcast, it was either Radiolab or This American Life. he bragged he only showered once a week, challenged someone to smell him, and they did not agree that he smelled neutral. it's oke of my favorite clips of recorded media because a smug No Shower Guy finally gets put in his place.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/16/2023

used up all my words writing fic this week, this is uncharacteristically short

listening

the last time i listened to this song, i was in a rental car on the way back to umass from seeing The Last Jedi with some friends. real oldheads: do you remember the mustang we all made fun of with lights that projected a little running horse onto the ground? that was the rental car.

this is a perfect feelgood summery song. no notes.

how'd i find this: listening to the s/tar wars rewatch podcast A More Civilized Age reminded me of how i cried in sheer rage at the end of The Las/t Jedi lol

-

reading

this is one of the coolest textile/data/activism projects ive ever heard of.

Even with natural dyes, for the most part, people don’t think about their water quality. They don’t understand that the invisible things in the water can affect the outcome of the color. You know, it’s just like, “Oh, madder is red, so I’m gonna get a red textile.” But there are so many more steps in dyeing a piece of fabric with a plant dye, or an insect dye. It’s not as easy as just putting some plants in a pot and turning the water heat up.

The goal of using color was to be able to visually demonstrate that not all water is the same. I was hoping to see if I could sort of pull out the pollution, but then what I figured out was that it’s very complex. It’s very possible that I’m demonstrating pollution, but I think I need to gather and do way more tests in order to prove something. 

-

watching

a bunch of stuff, but a lot of surface level critique.

Symphony for a Massacre (1963, Deray) is a french noir i picked somewhat at random bc it was on my library's streaming service. this is a film about a drug shipment, counterfeit money, and multiple double crosses (but none of them overlap in interesting ways) that takes you by the arm and drags you along, unwavering, toward the end. i want to sound less complimentary than i do there, but i can't be bothered. wanted to like it, it didn't grab me. i had some difficulty telling actors apart, and i don't think anyone's performance stood out except for the wife of a club owner, who flings her jewel box at someone's feet to pay her husband's debt.

Maverick (1994, dir. Donner) is full of guys i love to see (Molina, Coburn, Garner) but committed the unforgivable sin of reminding me that there were two much better movies i could be watching instead: Silverado (1985, dir. Kasdan) and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989, Spielberg). Jodie Foster is extremely fucking hot and more than holds her own. i think my big beef with this film is that i don't care for mel gibson as an actor or a person. also, this film cannot decide if it wants to be a comedy or an action-adventure (even though there are many funny action-adventure films) and as a result does neither genre well. i said "oh come ON" out loud at the final twist.

also rewatched The Batman (2022, dir. Reeves). i don't know why either. i think if it ended on the roof of gotham square garden and we didn't have the following goodbye scene with catwoman AND the following arkham scene, it would have stuck its landing a little better. wish this movie wasn't visually so fuckin dark, bud. throw some contrast in there.

-

playing

friday afternoon, remembered i had a code for Powerwasher Simulator, and since then i have played almost twenty hours. i've also almost caught up with A More Civilized Age, a podcast in the Austin Walker extended universe about rewatching all of star wars. five star podcast five star runtime

most importantly, BIG FOOKIN DISH

it is so very seductive to open this game and have my brain turn off. it is SO seductive to feel like i am actually accomplishing tangible things. unfortunately, i need to do many things with no tangible results (or no tangible results i will see for many months, which is almost as bad) and i seem to have fucked up my shoulder by playing too much viddy gaem.

the writing in this game (mostly in the form of text messages from your clients that pop in as you hit certain cleaning milestones) is so goddamn funny. this is a job sim game. there are eight billion of these games. they didn't have to be funny at all

-

making

read my pornography. it has math jokes. you do not need to have read anything else i've written.

[fictionadventurer]

If you're still doing this: top five podcasts OTHER that Presidential (I finished it two weeks ago 😁)

Unfortunately, I don't listen to many podcasts aside from Presidential (so thrilled you listened to it!), so I don't have too many options for this list.

Writing Excuses: Podcast about writing sci-fi and fantasy hosted by Brandon Sanderson, Howard Tayler, Dan Wells, and (eventually) Mary Robinette Kowal. I don't much like what the podcast has become with the new rotating roster of guest hosts, so I don't listen to it much anymore, but for a few years, I listened to this frequently and it taught me a lot about writing (my ideal era is roughly around Seasons 6-11). It's still the template for my ideal podcast format--several hosts, so you get multiple perspectives and voices, but with short episodes that stay on topic instead of turning into a drawn-out gabfest.

American History Tellers: An American history podcast that I found shortly after finishing Presidential. It tends to tell stories in 3-8 episode arcs about different eras of American history, with frequent interludes that provide cinematic retellings of historical moments, complete with sound effects. So far I've listened to an episode about Prohibition (which interviews the host of Presidential), the arc about Andrew Jackson, and an episode about Yosemite National Park, all of which I thought were excellent.

Story-a-Day Podcast: Another writing podcast, focused on short fiction in all genres. This one's more business-focused than I like, so I don't listen often, but every once in a while, I find an episode that provides insights that upend my ideas of writing.

K.M. Weiland's Writing Podcast: I do not get along with her hyper-structured story-writing method. But when I needed a break from Writing Excuses, I'd sometimes listen to an episode and find something worthwhile there.

Bible in a Year and Catechism in a Year: These are at the bottom of the list because I haven't actually listened to these yet, but they come highly recommended from family members who have listened to them, and the pieces I've heard sound excellent. Bible in a Year might be a bit of a harder sell for me, because Father Mike reads really fast, but the one episode of Catechism in a Year left me almost overwhelmed with excitement over how my readings about history and philosophy fit in with the Catholic ideas of how we're supposed to engage with public life.

[newmusickarl]

5-9’s Album of the Month Podcast – latest episode out now!

In case you missed it, it’s an exciting new era for the 5-9 Album of the Month podcast as last month we launched our official YouTube channel! Each month, we will publishing the latest full podcast episode as well as individual album reviews and our monthly highlights outside of the albums discussed. To explore all our video content so far, including our January, February and March episodes, you can find our YouTube channel here. And to help support the channel as we get it off the ground, please be sure to like and subscribe if you’re enjoying the content!

For those new here, the 5-9 Album of the Month Podcast is where I take a seat alongside 5-9 Editor Andrew Belt and Check This Out’s Kiley Larsen to review five high profile album releases from the past month in music, and ultimately name one as our Album of the Month at the end of the discussion. On the Spotify version, we also have some insightful background information to each album from Blinded By The Floodlight’s Matthew McMcLister and you can also hear our picks of the best songs from each record!

For our March 2024 episode, the five albums we discuss are:

Beach Day by Another Sky (poll winner, thank you!)

Mountainhead by Everything Everything

I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy

Playing Favorites by Sheer Mag

Where’s My Utopia? By Yard Act

If you want to listen to this or any previous episodes simply follow the links below, but also be sure to follow 5-9 Blog on Instagram, Twitter and now YouTube for more news and polls relating to the podcast.

Listen to the new episode on Spotify here

Watch the latest episode and subscribe to our YouTube channel here

Album & EP Recommendations

ACT II: COWBOY CARTER by Beyoncé

Yee-bloody-haw!

It’s a Country & Western inspired New Music roundup this week, so it only makes sense to begin with one of the biggest album releases of the year thus far – COWBOY CARTER by Beyoncé.

I’ll be the first to admit that when ACT I: RENAISSANCE was cleaning up with the year-end awards amongst most music critics in 2022, I wasn’t as impressed. Whilst it was a fun project and certainly had its moments, I personally thought it failed to live up to its predecessor, B’s confessional masterpiece Lemonade. I also thought there were much better records released in 2022, to the point that RENAISSANCE didn’t even make my own Top 50. However, when I heard Queen B was following up her House and Dance-inspired record with a Country album, I was instantly intrigued.

Daddy Lessons off Lemonade had previously given us a taste of what a Beyoncé-Goes-Country track could sound like, but there’s a big difference between delivering one moment within an eclectic, genre-hopping rollercoaster and sustaining a whole album in that style. Even more so when that album is 27 tracks and 78 minutes long! But having seen very some positive reviews and my intrigue only heightening as a result, I dove into this one with the expectation that it would be another overhyped project – I was wrong. Whilst I wasn’t onboard with RENAISSANCE, I absolutely am with COWBOY CARTER.

Firstly, if the track length on this one is putting you off, don’t let that be the case. This album is such a fun, joyous time, that the 78-minute runtime just flies along. The album is also structured almost like a show you’d find on a Country Music radio station, with the legendary Willie Nelson himself guiding you through the “SMOKE HOUR”, with these interludes helping to keep the pace ticking along swiftly.

Most importantly though, the album is simply littered with stand-out moments from beginning to end. Singles 16 CARRIAGES and TEXAS HOLD ‘EM still sound great, but it’s the album tracks where the album really comes alive, with the likes of BODYGUARD, AMERIICAN REQUIEM, DAUGHTER and RIIVERDANCE blending elements of pop, soul and R&B seamlessly with the sounds of B’s Louisiana roots. There’s two instantly iconic covers as well that Beyoncé makes her own, turning The Beatles’ BLACKBIIRD into an empowering gospel anthem whilst switching the lyrics up on Dolly Parton’s JOLENE to reference Jay-Z’s infidelity – which also happens to include a blessing from Parton herself. To top it off, there’s also a bunch of interesting and worthwhile collaborations too, including country music heroes Linda Martell and Willie Jones, along with contemporary crossover popstars Miley Cyrus and Post Malone.

Overall, COWBOY CARTER is an album I’ve enjoyed much more than I was expecting to, so much so that I find myself returning to it fairly frequently. If you’re also feeling sceptical but slightly intrigued, I promise it is worth a spin. A really fun record filled with heart, soul, fascinating collabs and Beyoncé’s ever incredible vocal and genre gymnastics. Bring on ACT III!

Listen here

Bright Future by Adrianne Lenker

From Country to Folk now, with Big Thief’s Adrianne Lenker donning her best Cowboy hat for the album cover to her latest solo outing, Bright Future. Whilst I can sometimes find Big Thief’s output easy to admire but hard to love, this one hit me in the gut straight away. Raw and impactful, it’s a collection of tracks where each song feels more emotionally devastating than the last.

Not only that but these are songs that feel instantly classic, with Lenker’s heartfelt songwriting radiating out of the music. The string-tinged melancholy of Sadness As A Gift is a big early highlight, whilst the lo-fi energy of Vampire Empire, heart-shattering piano ballad Evol and acoustic lament Candleflame all leave a strong lasting impression too, all in very different ways. Such is the emotional heft wrapped in these songs, by the time you reach gorgeous closing track Ruined, it’s likely you’ll be just that!

Whilst this is an album you have to be in the right mood for as it can be a hard listen at times, if it catches you in that opportune moment then the rewards are unparallelled to anything else released so far this year. Without a doubt, one of the best, most beautiful records of 2024 yet.

Listen here

Tigers Blood by Waxahatchee

When Katie Crutchfield, AKA Waxahatchee, released her sobriety-seeking fifth studio album Saint Cloud at the height of the COVID-pandemic in March 2020, she couldn’t have imagined the impact it would generate. Here was an album brimming with emotional turmoil, at a time when the world was dealing with just that. As a result, it was the perfect album for the perfect time, steering Saint Cloud towards a spot on many year-end lists and Waxahatachee gaining plenty of new fans to boot. 4 years on, and Tigers Blood finds Katie Crutchfield looking to recapture the magic of that record with another collection of country-infused indie and Southern rock jams. And just like its predecessor, I’m pleased to say its chock-full of outstanding cuts.

From the uplifting stomp of opener 3 Sisters, the bluesy riffs of Ice Cold to the brilliantly laid-back, MJ Lenderman-featuring single Right Back To It, you’ll find yourself wrapped up in the warming sounds straight away. However, it is the even more stripped-back second half where the strength of Katie’s raw, honest songwriting really shines through, with Crimes of the Heart, 365, The Wolves and the closing title track all hitting hard.

Whilst I can see some people being left lukewarm by this one coming off the back of Saint Cloud, for me personally I think I’m enjoying Tigers Blood possibly even more than that record. Whilst it still has the traditional melodies and relatable lyrics, it feels like Katie has stepped things up once again with her songcraft. Either way, this is another superb collection that I suspect will see her return to the year-end lists come December.

Listen here

All Quiet On The Eastern Esplanade by The Libertines

Whilst they were a big part of my teens, I’ll be honest I had minimal enthusiasm when it came to hearing a new Libertines album in 2024. Whilst Carl Barât and Pete Doherty had previously reunited almost ten years ago on Anthems For Doomed Youth, it sadly sounded like two musicians trying desperately to recapture a long lost formula, at a time when indie landfill was hitting maximum capacity. However following a couple of decent singles, I decided to let nostalgia take over and give the quartet the benefit of the doubt, spinning this album with a completely open mind. What I found was an album that defied all my expectations, with The Libertines arguably sounding even more urgent now in 2024 than they did back in the early noughties.

With their ever-present Likely Lads charm, Barât and Doherty turn their pen onto the current state of Britain, through both politics and people. Their music is also richer and more textured than ever before, with their traditional indie sound bolstered by dramatic brass arrangements, sweeping strings and theatrical production. It all comes together to form arguably their strongest record to date, a dazzling 38-minute listen where the band sound more focussed, more interesting and generally just having much more to say.

It’s also got some of their very best songs to date, from singles Run Run Run, Night of the Hunter and Shiver to the raucous look at the Ukraine War on I Have A Friend and the jazz-infused Baron’s Claw. However, the album’s crown jewel is without a doubt Merry Old England, a powerful, orchestral ode to migrants coming to the UK that is as impactful as it richly textured, both sonically and lyrically.

This has been one of the biggest surprises of the year so far for me, an album I was never expecting to love as much as I do. My hat is well and truly tipped to Carl, Pete, Gary and John, who prove they are more than an old indie act trying to relive past glories. Whilst the nostalgia of the early records will always have a hold over their die-hard fans, there’s no doubt that if they look beyond rose-tinted glasses, they’ll see this is objectively their finest work to date.

Listen here

The Sunset Violent by Mount Kimbie

One of my most played albums of April thus far, Mount Kimbie recently returned with their first studio album in seven years, bringing with them a new line-up and a new sound. Back this time as a quartet rather than a duo, The Sunset Violent sees the usually electronic outfit dive into a more indie/alternative sound to great effect. With King Krule also showing up to guest on a couple of tracks, it’s a gorgeous 36-minute listen seemingly destined to soundtrack warm and hazy summer evenings. There’s plenty of highlights too, with Shipwreck, Fishbrain and Yukka Tree all utter bliss.

Listen here

Incommunicado EP by Express Office Portico

A bittersweet release this, as Notts indie-pop outfit Express Office Portico finally released their debut EP at the end of March. However, the release of the project also coincided with the news that lead singer Tara would be stepping down from the band. A huge loss who leaves big shoes to fill, Incommunicado thankfully manages to work as both a final chapter for the band at this stage, as well as an insight into their flourishing potential. Featuring five catchy and shimmering indie-pop grooves, its highlighted by No One, In Swim and excellent recent single He Said She Said.

Listen here

Field Theory by Melts

“Dublin psych-rockers MELTS are one of those bands that very much live up to their name. With the quartet binding together after leaving various dissolved bands, MELTS’ 2022 debut ‘Maelstrom’ was a bold mission statement for their kaleidoscopic, mind-altering sound. Landing them somewhere in the venn diagram of contemporaries such as The Horrors, Working Men’s Club and Nation of Language, while still very much forming their own identity, it was an impressive first outing that left fans eager for the next chapter. Now back with their sophomore effort ‘Field Theory’, it’s no surprise to hear MELTS mostly stick with their winning formula for album number two. Overall, this is another hugely impressive release from MELTS and one that expands the fluorescent sonic world that was laid out on their debut. You also can’t help but feel that these songs on ‘Field Theory’ are built to thrive even more in a live setting, with the Dublin outfit assuredly building a catalogue of soaring, mind-melting compositions that just scream to be experienced in-person. Due to hit the road at the end of the month, those joining MELTS at these shows be pleasantly warned – you may just have your senses steamrolled.”

Read my full review for Clash Magazine here

Listen here

Also well worth checking out:

Three by Four Tet

Audio Vertigo by Elbow

Interplay by Ride

Ohio Players by The Black Keys

Older by Lizzy McAlpine

Blessed EP by August Charles

Tracks of the Week

1+1 = 11 by Peggy Gou

For years, DJ/Producer Peggy Gou has been Queen of the Summer banger, releasing just one single every year to ensure an all hits, no misses ratio. From Starry Night and I Go to last summer’s monster hit (It Goes Like) Nanana, she’s been unstoppable. So, with the news that her debut album I Hear You will finally drop this June, my expectations are already sky high for the 10 tracks that I’m hoping will soundtrack Summer 2024.

Coinciding with the news is her latest single offering 1+1 = 11, the song which will close out her upcoming debut. With shades of York classic On The Beach, it comes accompanied by a dazzling video starring artist Olafur Eliasson breakdancing inside a light installation at his studio in Berlin. Check it out!

Watch the official video here

B2b / Von Dutch / Club Classics by Charli XCX

The biggest album announcement of the past few weeks, electro-pop phenomenon Charli XCX will be releasing her new club-inspired album Brat this June and then touring UK arenas at the end of the year. Coming off the back of her instantly iconic Boiler Room set, the three singles so far suggest big inspiration from the dance and electronic music scene and I personally can’t wait for it.

Listen here

House by London Grammar

Another big album announcement, indie-pop outfit London Grammar have finally announced the follow-up to 2021’s Californian Soil will drop in September, titled The Greatest Love. That record saw the band explore more electronic territory and if lead single / opening track House is anything to go by, it seems they will be building out that sound further on this upcoming effort.

Listen here

Curse by Architects

The metal world was shocked earlier on this year when Bring Me The Horizon announced back in January that longtime band composer Jordan Fish was leaving the band. Since then fans were left wondering where he would end up and but it seems he has wasted little time moving on, already producing several tracks for other genre heavyweights. The latest is this thunderous new single from Architects, which boasts polished production and an instantly anthemic chorus.

Listen here

Blue Jeans & White T-Shirts by The Gaslight Anthem

Back in 2008, rock heroes The Gaslight Anthem released their much beloved Señor and the Queen EP, with this song the closing track for the project. Now as part of their History Books (Short Stories) EP that was released to coincide with their recent UK tour, they’ve reworked the song so that it sounds even better than it did before – just gorgeous.

Listen here

How Can I Love Her More? By The Lemon Twigs

With anticipation for the D'Addario brother’s follow-up to their highly acclaimed 2023 album Everything Harmony steadily mounting, each new single release suggests another special project is on the way. Now this latest cut to be taken from A Dream Is All We Know (which drops in May) only hypes things further, an instantly timeless tune that draws heavy comparisons to The Beach Boys. Wonderful!

Listen here

Red Holiday by Dura Mater

And finally fast-rising Notts 8-piece Dura Mater, who draw comparisons to bands like Black Country New Road, Arcade Fire and Opus Kink, released their second single Red Holiday this past week, which is taken from their forthcoming Arable Ground EP that drops at the end of May. This latest single, which is inspired by coastal living, showcases their potential, bringing together ghostly vocals, ambient guitars and powerful orchestration.

Listen here

Also worth checking out:

Human After All by Blue Violet

First Song by Swim Deep

Flea by St. Vincent

Mama Say by Ibibio Sound Machine

Big Brown Eyes by Lola Young

Coming Back To Me Good by Kasabian

Midas by Wunderhorse

Favourite Songs by Maxïmo Park

REMINDER: If you use Apple Music, you can also keep up-to-date with all my favourite 2024 tracks through my Best of 2024 playlist. Constantly updated throughout the year with songs I enjoy, it is then finalised into a Top 100 Songs of the Year in December.

Add the Best of 2024 playlist to your library here

[koscheicore]

*appears*

(imagine that one random time-lord in The Autons, floating mid-air)

Greetings once again,

Some more questions for you, because THOSCHEI, THOSCHEI, THOSCH-…..

Prepare yourself for a barrage of questions! (No pressure ofc)

Commencing in three, two, one..

*explosion*

1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 11, 12, 17

21 - Headcanons for your favourite ainley pairing

24 – gimme more info about the thoschei fan incarnations that occasionally pop up on your feeds. It is vital information!!!

*looks around at the impact caused by the questions*

Whoops

Have a good day/week! :)

*disappears*

SO IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG, THAT TIMELORD... That makes sense! Thank you so much for all the quest- (loud explosion) AAAAH!

(sooo prepare for a very long post 🤣)

1. How did you get into thoschei?

(gets out from under the table) Uhhh has the noise stopped? Yea. Okay. So it all started when I heard a rhythm of four beats?? And then I think my brain got infected. All I could think about is some sad pathetic aliens hugging each other and I guess one was dead and??? then he wasn't? Yeah so I saw tensimm and I got obsessed. That was, if my calculations are correct, about 8 years ago.

2. What is your favourite thoschei flavour?

At the moment it's fiveainley! Or sevencrispy...

3. What is, in your opinion, the most toxic thoschei dynamic?

Why did I even make this question. All of them there's no salvaging the toxicity. Uhh imma go with tensimm or spydoc though

5. Any fan content recommendations?

Honestly THBU it's just. Sublime. Okay so I might have been about to cry just one chapter in? Yeah??

Also Please Attend Carefully if you want podcasts abt the Master because who doesn't.

Now, that's all sfw but on the spicy smut side, here's a fiveainley fic that plays with hypnosis. I found it interesting how the author wrote it in first person, and their Ainley voice is just fantastic. Make sure to read the tags first though!

Do also check the ppl I reblog from's profiles some of them have AO3 accts I plan on munching on when I can!

8. Favourite thoschei story?

Honestly the Master audio atm. Or the Five Doctors cuz it's really funny to see Ainley TRY... just really try... Btw 1st Doctor x Ainley!Master when

Ngl I have to rewatch all the nuwho episodes w the master on it so my thoughts might change. These two stories are consuming my brain rn

9. Favourite thing they have said canonically to each other?

"Wonder what I'd be without you"

"Yeah."

And this

11. Song that reminds me of them?

I want to make an animatic with this so badly

12. Any thoschei headcanons?

My most heartfelt headcanon for them is this if it even counts as one 🤔

17. What's an underrated thoschei pairing?

SIXAINLEY FFS SIXAINLEY IS SO UNDERRATED. More of them pls...

21. Headcanons for your favourite Ainley pairing

No I'm not picking just one >:0

Fiveainley:

-In my head the Master contacted Fivey after the whole cheetah stuff in hopes he could help him. Not talking abt how good or bad that went but Fivey can't remember anyways.

-The Master loves the smell of Fivey's sweaters. Anytime he's entered his TARDIS he's stolen a few. Fivey still doesn't know where they went.

-Oh it's definitely Ainley!Master's fault the Doctor's regenerations became weirder. Yeah after what he did to Fivey he just messed them up. Like Fivey's legs. Hey, if the Master is having trouble being in a Trakenite body it's only fair, right?

Sixainley:

-The most likely pair to do spicy stuff actually. They're both into BDSM although probably not in a sexual context exactly. No I won't elaborate

-The cat pin? Yeah that's something the cheetah Master left in the TARDIS during that Fivey visit. Six just doesn't know. The Master finds it amusing.

-The Rani has tried to block all contact with the Master because he keeps calling her to talk about his latest plan to kill the Doctor. She's so tired.

Oneainley:

-The Master actually visited 1 on a few occasions during the Doctor's past after the events of the Five Doctors, wearing disguises of course so he wouldn't recognise him later.

-He invited him to lunch and they conversed. The Master finds this Doctor kind of endearing in a way, he's the closest he has to things being alright between them anyways. Just some quiet conversations, no mention of the Master or Gallifrey. No murder intent, they just were. Two "strangers" sharing lunch having candid intellectual conversations.

-Eventually, he stopped. Why? I leave that to your imagination.

24. Talk abt your fan Doctor and Master incarnations

OKOK IM GLAD YOU ASKED... So I met this classmate who's a dw fan and as we became friends he told me he had his own fan Doctor incarnation. Eventually we started LARPing for fun and I made my own Master, then we started making up tons of stories and that's how they came to be!

ONE DAY HOWEVER... He said. What if the Master and the Doctor were bigenerated?? Yeah from the same entity but the Time Lords erased their memories. And Dhawan!Master knew this but that one bit he never told, the Doctor never uncovered it, and this is part of why Dhawan wanted to become the Doctor. And boy this broke my heart because thE IMPLICATIONS. That'd mean the Master is ALSO the Timeless Child. So now that's canon for my Master and surprise, it's been selfcest all this time except not exactly because they are not the same anymore and they can never be.

So based off that, my Master loves to make a point on how different they are whilst his Doctor searches for similarities instead when he learns this. My Master is convinced that they're destined to be the worst parts of the Doctor forever, whilst the Doctor got "the better part". So why would they make it easy for him? Gallifrey is gone anyways so let's prove they can never be the same. Let's prove they're DONE. And they're immortal too I guess so why conform with having nothing no. They're owed the Universe and they're not sharing. Meanwhile the Doctor is wondering what would be of the Master if they had lived anything similar than what they did, if they're actually the same, if there's any kindness left on them, if they could have become the Master... He's stuck on his past in a way, too, missing companions and simpler times and stuff. And I intend to destroy his hopes of truly enjoying his current self you know?

...so yeah uh we also have companions we're making and we're slowly developing all of this + some random "episodes" (plots. that is) and one of them is Dak. Dak is well, kind of a Dalek kind of not. I have no idea how this happened he hasn't told me yet but apparently Dak has the genes of one of his companions? His mind when he was a child. So he's like a curious kid travelling with the Doctor except he's got Dalek Issues (tm) and I have such awful plans for him I'm so sorry little Dak ily but Daleks can never be good you know ☺️☺️ And I also have my subconscious eating beings that hate the Master for reasons but shhh. My friend doesn't know yet.

Anyways here's my Master treating the Doctor with love as usual

-----

Hey... hey. Wait. Don't go! *looks around* Uh... who will help me pay for all the repairs??? 😭

ALSO thank you so much for that twogado recommendation I will proceed to scream

[rainbowcarousels]

I got reminded that I did not in fact go into the random human AU idea I had and I'm just going to ramble. Human AU's are not my usual thing so bear with me.

Five years ago, Lestat de Lioncourt was on top of the world: his band had exploded two years ago with a breakout hit, he and his friends put on shows that were half-music half-theatre and every station seemed to be playing his songs nonstop. Then everything had imploded: bandmate and childhood sweetheart had died, he had developed an addiction to a new street substance known as the blood, he'd had an affair with the OG rock queen from Those Who Must Be Kept and had in his youthful naivite provided her with an alibi for murdering her husband and finally, a show got stormed by people looking for his blood, causing the deaths of several innocent bystanders. The band broke apart and he retreated into his own anonymity.

Now in his 20's and trying to pull his life back together, he takes a leap and ends up going to night school. He'd always struggled with literacy and having dropped out, it felt like an important step to at least make steps to move on with his life.

He's recommended a support group of other people on campus who've struggled with substance issues. This is where he meets Louis, someone who makes him double take for how much he looks like Nicolas, but he's quieter, always seems to be reading and is willing - although frequently exhasperated by doing it - to help him with his reading. This is how he finds out that he struggled with direction after his brother died suddenly and the guilt of not knowing if he could have prevented it. Well, if anyone understands that feeling...

Then there's the impossibly young looking Armand, another person who had been caught up in the rumour mill for having supposedly slept with two of his teachers and seems to swing between desperately wanting his attention and treating him like something a cat dragged in. One minute he won't even tell people his surname and the next, he drops the most disturbing trauma bombs about his background he's ever heard outside of a true crime podcast.

Speaking of, he has another kindred spirit in another burn out: a writer who seems to instantly recognise him who seems to be a little fried and easily distracted. Honestly, he might be the only person there with a normal background. Jesse grew up in a mysterious commune where people came day or night before being recruited by some shadowy group (she jokingly even refers to herself as sydney bristow), along with her friend who comes along for the ride.

Don't get him started on the faculty members that come in and either sit in or work in the room with them: the tension when the art teacher overlooks them is palpable, but it's not much better to be studied by the one that looks like a gothic cryptid. He has no idea what he teaches, but it always feels like he's paying far too close attention to them while playing with rings. There's also the strangely quiet one who just seems to sit there, almost as if she were a statue and an older looking man who just constantly seems to break the computer he's on in the rooms corner.

It's only a few nights a week, but they're as close to friends as he seems to have these days. It feels like he's being seen on his own terms for the first time in a long while and it's great, but also terrifying. Not to mention the fact he always feels like he's being stalked by someone - like they're just out of sight every time he looks around, or he glimpses a face that looks almost familiar but he can't place it.

He's just trying to move on with his life, so why does it feel like something is haunting him?

[mariacallous]

Meduza's The Beet: Dogged and determined reporters: How journalism persists in Turkmenistan

Hello, and welcome back to The Beet! 

I’m Eilish Hart, the editor of this weekly newsletter from Meduza covering Central and Eastern Europe, the Caucasus, and Central Asia. This week, I’m pleased to welcome back journalist Sher Khashimov, who previously reported on Tajikistan’s doxxing problem for The Beet. This time around, he’s introducing us to the dogged and determined reporters covering one of the most closed-off and censored countries in the world. But first, a brief detour to the Caucasus. 

As I was publishing The Beet’s report on Azerbaijan’s cowed anti-war movement last Thursday, the digital-rights group Access Now broke a story revealing that Pegasus spyware was used to hack civil-society figures in Armenia. Notably, these infiltrations took place against the backdrop of the conflict with Azerbaijan over Nagorno-Karabakh — making this investigation’s findings the first documented evidence of Pegasus spyware being used in the context of an international war.

For those of you who have never heard of Pegasus, buckle up. Developed by the Israeli firm NSO Group, this frighteningly sophisticated piece of hacking software is capable of infecting both iOS and Android devices through so-called “zero-click” attacks. In other words, it can worm its way into your phone — often by exploiting vulnerabilities that the manufacturer has yet to find and fix — and you’d be none the wiser. Once installed, Pegasus grants total access to your device, allowing the hacker to not only view your messages, emails, and photos, but also track your phone’s location, record calls, and use the camera and microphone to capture what’s going on around you. “Basically the attacker gets control of the settings and has even more control than you yourself have over your device,” Natalia Krapiva, a tech-legal counsel at Access Now, told me in an interview for a forthcoming episode of Meduza’s The Naked Pravda podcast. 

The NSO Group maintains that its only clients are governmental agencies that use Pegasus spyware to counter major threats, like terrorism and crime. But investigative journalists and digital-rights experts have painstakingly documented dozens of cases around the world where Pegasus was used to target activists, dissidents, journalists, and opposition politicians. “We have found this technology to be the go-to tool for dictators and authoritarians who want to silence the opposition, retaliate and spy on journalists and activists who are exposing corruption, governmental abuse, [and] investigating human rights abuses,” Krapiva said. 

In the case of Armenia, Access Now and its investigative partners identified at least 12 individuals targeted by Pegasus attacks between October 2020 and December 2022. Many of the infections coincided with the 2020 Nagorno-Karabakh War and the corresponding peace talks, Armenia’s ensuing political crisis, and successive escalations of the conflict — including the Lachin corridor blockade. Among the victims are a United Nations official, five journalists (two of whom work for RFE/RL’s Armenian service), as well as activists, an academic, and ex-Armenian officials Anna Naghdalyan, a former Foreign Ministry spokesperson, and Kristinne Grigoryan, the country’s former human rights ombudsperson. 

“Each and every one of them had some connection to the [Nagorno]-Karabakh conflict,” Krapiva underscored. “Either they had some kind of knowledge about it or they were critical of the [Armenian] government.” Naghdalyan, whose foreign ministry position put her at the heart of the ceasefire negotiations, was hacked at least 27 times over the course of 10 months. The former official told Access Now that she had “all the information about the developments during the war on [her] phone.” 

Researchers weren’t able to trace the infections back to a specific governmental operator. However, the report suggests that both the Azerbaijani and Armenian authorities could be behind the attacks. As part of the joint investigation, the Canadian Internet watchdog Citizen Lab pinpointed two suspected Pegasus operators based in Azerbaijan, one of which appeared to be monitoring targets both domestically and in Armenia. The 2021 Pegasus Project investigation previously implicated Azerbaijan, as well, with journalists identifying 245 individuals whose Azerbaijani phone numbers were on a list of potential targets. As for the Armenian government, Access Now noted its “possible interest” in spying on the identified targets, as well as reports that Armenia is a likely user of another notorious hacking software called Predator. 

That said, the investigation found no technical evidence suggesting that Armenia is a Pegasus user. 

NSO Group, meanwhile, claims to have “rigorous” internal human rights policies and has consistently denied reports linking its spyware to abuses (even after the United States added the company to a federal blacklist in 2021). Following the latest revelations, NBC News quoted an NSO Group spokesperson as saying that the company “will investigate all credible allegations of misuse.” But Krapiva expressed skepticism over the firm’s boilerplate response. “At this point it’s highly disingenuous for them [NSO Group] to be making these statements about human rights policies because their actual conduct shows that they just don’t care,” she said. “They have no regard for human rights.” 

So why am I telling you all this? Well, as Krapiva underscored during our conversation, the fact that governments across Central and Eastern Europe, the Caucasus, and Central Asia appear to be using highly-advanced spyware to target the likes of journalists and rights advocates is cause for concern. Especially since proper investigations into the human rights abuses these technologies enable are few and far between. “I hope that our investigation will lead to more investment and capacity building, and also interest from journalists, NGOs, and so on, to really uncover, investigate, and bring to light these abuses,” Krapiva urged. “And I'm sure it's just the tip of the iceberg,” she added.

Dogged and determined reporters: How journalism persists in Turkmenistan

By Sher Khashimov

In April, a delegation from Ashgabat met with U.N. officials in Geneva to discuss ongoing strategic partnerships between Turkmenistan and the United Nations. A dry official statement from Turkmenistan’s Foreign Ministry described rather routine meetings about copyright protections, collaboration in the information sphere, and disarmament. According to The Beet’s sources, however, the Turkmen officials were privately forced to respond to a 2021 investigation by the Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project (an international network of investigative journalists, also known as OCCRP), that uncovered how, amid widespread food shortages, Turkmen President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov granted his nephew a $25.7-million contract to import state-subsidized staples. 

The OCCRP investigation offered an unprecedented look at how the president and his family members — beginning under the aforementioned Berdimuhamedov senior, who ruled over Turkmenistan from 2006 to 2022 before transferring power to his son Serdar — control the country’s economic assets. A short documentary that accompanied the OCCRP investigation has almost 199,000 views on YouTube and is currently blocked in Turkmenistan.

“During those meetings [in Geneva], several U.N. officials expressed concerns over how state contracts are handed out to the president’s relatives,” said journalist Ruslan Myatiev, who coauthored the investigation. “The Turkmen delegation denied the allegations, of course.” 

Myatiev is the editor of Turkmen.News, an independent media outlet based in the Netherlands. The son of prominent Turkmen journalists, Myatiev worked as a sports reporter for a local newspaper as a teenager and went on to study journalism at the American University of Central Asia in Bishkek. Upon graduating in 2008, however, he had to rule out going home to work as a journalist due to the rapidly deteriorating human rights situation in Turkmenistan. 

“After it came to light that my parents were working as independent journalists, they were fired from their jobs. My father was attacked in the streets. Somebody threw rocks at our apartment at night,” Myatiev told The Beet over Zoom from the Netherlands, where he and his family have lived since receiving political asylum in 2010. “My parents faced threats and the likelihood of imprisonment on trumped-up charges, so we left.”

‘Like Soviet propaganda run through the circus’

Unfortunately, the circumstances that drove the Myatievs to flee Turkmenistan are not unique. Journalists around the world have been facing increasing censorship, harassment, and death threats for years. More than 900 journalists have been murdered since 1993 — the vast majority with complete impunity for the perpetrators. Reporters Without Borders classified the press freedom situation as “very bad” in a record 28 countries in 2022, with another 42 classified as “difficult” and 62 as “problematic.” 

Non-democracies in particular have seen a significant uptick in repressions, but wars, the coronavirus pandemic, and economic instability have in recent years eroded or stagnated press freedoms in democratic countries, as well. Dictators and criminal enterprises, meanwhile, see journalists as an existential threat and seek to discredit, diminish, or destroy their work.

But even in this context, Turkmenistan stands out. Today, the country ranks at the bottom of the most prominent democracy, corruption, and press freedom indexes. Elections are rigged, the Berdimuhamedov family dominates political and economic institutions, corruption is systemic, and there is zero tolerance for political dissent. The government also maintains tight control over the information space; major media outlets, including the news agency TDH, the newspapers Turkmenistan and Neytralny Turkmenistan, and the TV channel Altyn Asyr, are state-owned and broadcast government propaganda. Criticism of the president and other government officials is strictly prohibited. Journalists who defy the rules are prosecuted, imprisoned, tortured, and even killed. 

“The media environment in Turkmenistan is abysmal,” said Bruce Pannier, a long-time Central Asia analyst and a former Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty (RFE/RL) journalist. “The government doesn’t want you to listen to anything but state media. And their state media is like Soviet propaganda that’s been run through the circus. The government suppresses all criticism of its policies and actions, leaving citizens fearful and distrustful of independent information sources.”

“The Turkmen regime has ruled the country with an iron fist, not allowing any independent media to grow in the country,” explained Gulnoza Said, the Europe and Central Asia program coordinator at the Committee to Protect Journalists.

“The authorities subject many citizens, including journalists, to physical and digital surveillance,” she continued. “Currently, [journalist] Nurgeldi Halykov is serving a four-year prison term simply for sharing a photo [of World Health Organization representatives in Turkmenistan] during the first year of the global COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Journalists can also be barred from traveling abroad, as happened with veteran journalist Soltan Achilova.”

Halykov, who previously contributed to Turkmen.News anonymously to protect himself from government reprisals, was imprisoned on dubious fraud charges. According to Turkmen.News, the prison administration has placed Halykov in a punishment cell on at least three occasions. Achilova, whom the police previously arrested, physically assaulted, and threatened over her work for RFE/RL’s Turkmen service, was prevented from leaving Turkmenistan in 2019. At the time, she was freelancing for The Chronicle of Turkmenistan, a Vienna-based outlet whose founder, the famous Turkmen human rights advocate Farid Tukhbatullin, once suffered a similar fate.

“The government used an alleged assassination attempt on President [Saparmurat] Niyazov as a pretext to arrest a whole bunch of opposition-minded folks, including my father,” said Ruslan Tukhbatullin, Farid’s son and the current editor of The Chronicles of Turkmenistan. “He was held for four months and was let go only due to pressure from the international community but was banned from his advocacy [work].” Tukhbatullin immediately left to join his family in Russia and later accepted a political-asylum offer during a human rights conference in Austria.      

That said, Turkmen journalists aren’t entirely safe abroad either. Instances of transnational repression targeting opposition figures and independent journalists are growing more frequent around the world. And Turkmenistan’s regime is no stranger to engaging in such tactics. In 2021 alone, the National Security Ministry repeatedly harassed and threatened the relatives of Rozybai Jumamuradov and Devlet Bayhan, two exiled journalists who report for The Chronicles of Turkmenistan, in an effort to silence them or pressure them to return to Turkmenistan.

“The threats have died down a bit in the last year or two, but there were several instances in the past when we had to ask Austrian police for protection,” recalled Tukhbatullin. The Tukhbatullins and the Myatievs are too high profile to hide their names anymore, but the rest of their teams are forced to work anonymously to avoid threats and harassment, to protect their loved ones, and to shield their sources. 

“Our distant relatives in Turkmenistan were forced to disown us because my work puts them in an anxious position,” admitted Myatiev. “Sometimes there are menacing comments under my articles that say, ‘Think of your relatives, of what could happen to them.’ These are the realities of our work.”   

‘The authorities block things, left and right’

Operating in exile also means trading away any ease of reporting. For one, working remotely requires relying on a clandestine network of on-the-ground reporters and sources who are increasingly harder to recruit and contact, given the security risks. The dangers to their reporters and sources are so great that all of the independent Turkmen journalists The Beet interviewed flat out refused to reveal any details of how they communicate with their teams. 

“We all face the ethical dilemma of balancing the inherent security risks with the value of on-the-ground reporting. There are no days when answering this dilemma is easy; even the smallest editorial decisions could get someone arrested or tortured,” explained an independent Turkmen journalist and activist based in Turkey, who asked to remain anonymous.

Delivering uncensored information and independent reporting to people living in Turkmenistan is even more difficult. Turkmenistan’s government operates one of the most prohibitive Internet firewalls in the world, which is reportedly blocking more than 2.5 billion IP addresses and 122,000 domains, including those of RFE/RL’s Turkmen service, Turkmen.News, The Chronicles of Turkmenistan, and the opposition-founded Gundogar. Technical and regulatory restrictions make Turkmenistan’s Internet service the slowest and most expensive in the world. While 80 percent of Turkmenistan’s citizens had cell phones as of 2020, only 26 percent used the Internet and just one percent had social media accounts. The use of VPNs, encrypted messengers like Signal and Telegram, and protected email services like Proton is treated as a punishable offense. And the authorities even use flawed content moderation and copyright policies to block independent reporting on social media sites.

“[These restrictions] make it extremely difficult [for sources in Turkmenistan] to send us even a photo, much less a video,” Myatiev lamented. “Even with the widespread use of smartphone cameras that can capture events on the ground, people just lack good [enough] Internet access to inform us.”

The only entities that have unrestricted Internet access in Turkmenistan are government agencies and a handful of foreign embassies and commercial companies. “At any given moment, whenever I check our website analytics, there’s a handful of people reading us from IP addresses in Turkmenistan. We think these are the security services keeping tabs on us,” said Myatiev.

To reach readers in Turkmenistan, independent outlets are forced to rely on a patchwork of communications methods, ranging from social media and messaging apps to mirror sites. Such methods are what made Turkmen.News a success story; Myatiev started working independently in 2010, aggregating news about Turkmenistan in an email-blast that he sent out to 300 people in his contacts. People then started reaching out to him and asking to be added to his mailing list. Within a year, Myatiev had amassed a subscriber base of 3,000 people. A couple of years later, he turned his newsletter into a media outlet using nothing but his own savings.

But such scrappiness is costly. Operating multiple communications channels, maintaining websites and their mirrors, defending against cyberattacks, and being based in Western countries with higher living costs exacerbates the financial toll for independent Turkmen outlets. As a result, these newsrooms operate on shoestring budgets and with small teams.

“We exist mostly on international grants as revenue sources are very limited to us,” Tukhbatullin told The Beet. “There’s no ad revenue. Those who read us in Turkmenistan either lack the technical means of donating to us or are afraid to do so. Those who read us from abroad are students or labor migrants who can’t afford to support us financially either.”

“My team is made up of three and a half people,” Myatiev added with a bitter smile.

‘This work is like a rollercoaster’

Despite being forced out of their country, lacking funding, and facing threats, harassment, and the challenges of reporting on a country with a highly regulated information space full of unwritten rules and gray areas, Turkmen independent journalists have plenty of successes to boast. 

Myatiev’s Turkmen.News is the first and only organization from Turkmenistan to join the OCCRP network — an honor bestowed upon only the most rigorous and dogged investigative outlets around the world. Since 2021, Myatiev has co-authored several detailed investigations into corruption and nepotism in Turkmenistan, and he’s also an active member of the Cotton Campaign, which fights against state-imposed forced labor in Central Asia. “Each of our investigations grows our followers base and the number of sources we have in the country,” Myatiev told The Beet. 

Tukhbatullin’s Chronicles of Turkmenistan, meanwhile, has been patiently and meticulously documenting human rights abuses in the country for more than 15 years. The outlet has amassed more than 107,000 subscribers on YouTube, putting it on par with other notable Central Asian media outlets like Asia Plus and Kloop that operate in the relatively less hostile media environments of Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan, respectively.

Both Tukhbatullin and Myatiev (who, in addition to sharing a first name and passion for journalism, were classmates in high school) show immense pride in their defiant work, although they admit that it takes an emotional toll. “This work is like a rollercoaster,” Tukhbatullin laughed somberly when asked why he works in journalism. “The pressure, the stress — it all builds up, it can be very difficult. But it’s important work. When [my father and I] started out, there were very few who reported on Turkmenistan. I’m happy there are more of us now.” 

“It can be tough, especially when my reporters get arrested. But there are more days when I’m happy and proud to do this work,” Myatiev said. 

Asked if he has any hope for Turkmenistan, the journalist took a pensive pause. “All my thoughts and all my dreams are connected to my country. All I want is to be useful to Turkmenistan,” Myatiev replied. “I’ve lived in many countries and there are so many positive, constructive lessons I could bring back to help improve Turkmenistan. And I hope someday I will finally return.” 

That’s all for this week!

Remember to stay tuned to The Naked Pravda for my full interview with Access Now’s Natalia Krapiva about the use of Pegasus spyware in the conflict between Azerbaijan and Armenia over Nagorno-Karabakh. Until next time,

Eilish