#also [grabs your shoulders] go read gideon the ninth. please.

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

AAAAAAA ur reading house of leaves??? im buying that next week thats so cool! do u have any book recs? or recs in general shows movies etc

I AM!! I'm several chapters in and super enjoying it, although reading it alone in a tiny hotel room in the middle of nowhere was a Distinct Mistake.

As for recs! I'm going to specifically go for stuff that isn't super mainstream, in the hopes that I'll recommend you something you have never heard of before. Here's some stuff for you!

Podcasts

Dreamboy - one-season podcast from Night Vale Presents, definitely one of their less-known ones. Explicit in places, what I would describe as AO3 M-rated sex scenes. A worn-out musician ends up embroiled in inexplicable events in a small town, and also there's a murderous zebra and fossils that want to fuck. It's a musical cinematic podcast masterpiece, I'll always be sad there's only one season.

Apocrypals - nonfiction. Two non-believers read through the Bible and try not to be jerks about it. If you're interested in theology and apocryphal texts but have no idea where to start, this is such a good place. The hosts are delightful, and have a really nice way of taking you through all the various layers of Biblical scholarly nonsense. Considerable backlog of episodes, but worth listening through from the beginning. Weirdly, there's continuity.

Til Death Do Us Blart - five poor fools watch Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 every Thanksgiving from now until the end of eternity, and report back yearly on their mental state. You may think to yourself 'wow, that doesn't sound like a good time'. It isn't, to the hosts. To anyone listening along, it's fucking hilarious. Nine episodes so far, and it's a single episode per year, so plenty of time to catch up.

Web Series

The Monument Mythos - Several seasons. surreal analogue horror alternate history of America told through a series of videos of varying format. Brilliantly absurd, fucked up, and horrifying by turns (sometimes all at once).

No Evil - ongoing animated series, made mostly by a single person. Please don't immediately wave it off because of the colorful anthropormorphic animals. The mythology is amazing, the animation is sublime, and the music is haunting. The pacing is a bit strange at first, and you may be confused at the way the plot moves, but you have to understand that it's all part of its charm. I think about No Evil way too much.

Dances Moving - you may know Brian David Gilbert from his work at Polygon, and his more recent absurdist Youtube ventures. This is from way before that! It's a fun and gradually heartwrenching musical exploration of a local dance group and what it means to move away from home. Seven short episodes.

ENA - this one is a bit more mainstream, so you may know it already. Who knows what's going on in the world of ENA? Definitely not me. Absurdism at its finest. Bizarre architecture, strange characters, if it's a metaphor I don't know what it's about, but the vibes are immaculate. Three actual episodes of varying length, apparently there's a video game set to come out soon-ish?

An Unauthorized Fan Treatise - serialized story. If you're a fan of internet drama a la Msscribe, you're going to adore it. It's a fiction story about a fictional fandom, and one massively messed up person who decides that two of the lead actors in her favorite show are secretly dating and sets out to prove it with a cited multi-chapter essay. And then it gets wild.

Comics

The Property of Hate - a wonderfully dynamic and colorful webcomic about a young girl getting chosen to become a make-believe world's Hero. Puns and wordplay galore. Absolutely delightful characters and worldbuilding. Ongoing.

Eat the Rich - a young woman goes to meet her boyfriend's extremely rich family, and learns their horrifying secret. Warning: cannibalism. 5 issues, complete.

Beanworld - impossible to describe, but I'll try. An absurdist semiabstract musing on the nature of life and cycles and community, set in a world where the rules are weirdly two-dimensional and you as a reader get weirdly invested in the routines and cycles that the inhabitants follow. And all of the main characters are cute lil bean guys. If you read anything on this list, do this one. (Linked is the only online version I could find, and it's not up-to-date. I own all the omnibuses in print. If you liked what you read here, I recommend tracking them down too.)

Short Stories (in no particular order, and certainly not all my favorites - just the ones I had bookmarked and on hand)

Bride, Knife, Flaming Horse - a young Indian woman looks for marriage in the fantastical, and finds several suitors

Fish (in 13 sections) - an obsessive unpacks a bewildering insult. Just, really fun.

Fandom For Robots - a robot discovers anime, and definitely doesn't have big feelings about it

Informed Consent Logs From The Soul-Swap Clinic - two people decide to swap bodies, for somewhat murky reasons.

The Magician's Apprentice - a young girl learns magic from her mentor. This one's about grooming. But not like that. But also a lot like that. But also it's so much more fucked up than that. (This one is a MEGA favorite, it's by Tamsyn Muir. Who you may recognize as the author of the Locked Tomb series - I'd rec that too here, if it wasn't definitely too mainstream for what I'm going for. Read this. And also read the Locked Tomb.)

The Tale of the Foolish King Who Banished Music - it's a snippet of a longer Doctor Who audio drama, but stands so nicely on its own. Unnerving little fairy tale.

The Spider - 1908 horror story about a man trying to figure out why so many men have spontaneously committed suicide in a specific hotel room. It's basically a TMA statement, in more ways than one.

Video Games

What Did Veronica Dream Of? - strange little rpgmaker puzzle game. Obtuse and weird, and I adore it. I wish I could explain why.

Secret Little Haven - point-and-click about being a trans girl on the internet in 1999. Completely nails the tone it's going for. Period-typical homo- and transphobia.

Linelith - a short (1-hour) puzzle game with no plot and no characters, and yet it contains one of the greatest plot-twists of all time. I'm begging you to play it immediately.

Lingo - puzzle game about linguistics, words, non-Euclidean goemetry, and figuring out an endless series of rules in a constantly expanding world. RIDICULOUSLY clever and good, and I've been playing it almost continuously for the last few months. It's got so much content for such a reasonable price, and the community-made maps add even more content (and are also excellent). If English isn't your first language, you may struggle, but otherwise - grab a bunch of friends and stream it. It's better with friends helping you out, I can guarantee it.

For A Change - a 1999 interactive fiction game about raising the sun in a world where words do not mean what you think they mean. If you're familiar with old text-based games, go ahead and play it - otherwise, you may want to read this transcript of a group of people playing it together instead.

Other Things

Carmilla - the classic 1800s lesbian vampire novella. I read it very recently, and it's extremely good. Absolutely delivers on the lesbian vampire premise in full gory detail, although do be aware that it was written in the context of homophobic fear.

Alberio - very fun light musical about two siren brothers reconnecting under less-than-ideal circumstances.

Mosquitoes - stage play about life and families and physics (theoretical and practical both). Very heavy topics, pulls no punches. The Boson's final monologue always wrecks me.

Ghost Quartet - musical/song cycle/experience about love, death, alcohol, and (of course) ghosts. Lots of cyclical stories and time travel weirdness. All of the songs are incredible.

Yankee and the Foreigners - music group that performs delightful upbeat covers of songs in animal onesies. Their Bare Necessities cover is a favorite of mine.

I'm sure there's lots more things I could rec (not a lot of books or movies here, huh? sorry about that. I immediately forgot everything I've ever read and watched) but these were the things that came to mind when I sat down and wrote this list, so hopefully there's something new and good for you in here!

[stunudo]

Just Because

I wanted to make something funny and @reidbyers posted this fun Sentence Starters list. So blame Jen for this... J/K I tried to get them all. This is the most shit post ever... Now I am paranoid I have read something like this before. Oh well.

Penelope had gathered everyone together for an impromptu “Team Building Seminar” at a local bar & grille. The establishment had a western theme, so she had somehow bamboozled an assortment of child-sized cowboy and cowgirl hats for the team to wear. The BAU team: Hotch, Rossi, Reid, JJ, Prentiss and her one and only Boo-thang Derek Morgan were all there seated around a banquet sized table in a private room next to the kitchen.

“Attention. I need attention.” Garcia began, her bright pink hat, nestled at an intentional angle on her curly head. The team was not getting the point, so she held up her toy pistol and shot the cap gun off. *snap* *snap*

Six sets of eyes slowly made their way to their hostess and tech analyst.

“Baby Girl, is 'no' an emotion? Because I'm feeling it." Derek teased from his lazy perch next to Rossi. He had kindly wore his black and silver cowboy hat at an angle like hers, but what he was really excited to wear was the Bolo tie.

Garcia rolled her eyes and tried to get the group back in line. “Guys, we are starting with a round of questions. Just quick responses, don’t think too hard. Almost like word association.” She looked around the table, ensuring everyone was playing along. “ Which layer of hell do you think you're going to?”

“Seven.” Derek shouted out, rather robustly. Reid looked at him, impressed that he knew the circles and had chosen a decently appropriate one. Spencer had to readjust his purple cowboy hat again, it kept on slipping. But actually it was JJ and Emily lightly tapping it from either side of him.

“Ninth,” mumbled Prentiss.

“Definitely sixth for me, too much sway with the press,” JJ admitted, taking a long pull off her pint.

“I don’t believe in hell, but if I did I think I would be banished to the second circle.” Reid pondered.

“Reid? Isn’t that the sexy one?” Garcia’s mouth was hanging open. “Nevermind, moving on: I am going with circle 8, hacking is kind of a multifaceted dominion.”

Everyone turned to look at Rossi for his answer, but he was looking at his phone screen. Derek nudged the older man.

“Oh, sorry. If a conversation goes on too long without being about me, I'm out.” He explained. Garcia nodded, but kept the exercises coming.

“I am going to start with a question and I want you guys to build a conversation around it. Only one sentence and then it’s the next person’s turn.”

Garcia flipped through her index cards, they were electric green. She grinned when she found the question she was looking for, she turned to Hotch at the head of the table.

“Sir, you start then we will finish going clockwise.” Everyone nodded. "Are we just friends or is this flirting serious?"

Without missing a beat or loosening his gold sequenced cowboy hat, Hotch replied, “Contrary to popular belief I'm actually soft and have feelings.”

It was now JJ’s turn, “Why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?"

Reid was not quite getting the game, he looked around the room at his team mates’ faces and thought for a minute, maybe longer. "I don't wanna get involved in drama I just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened."

Emily slapped the table in a muted fit of laughter, "Fill your heart with bees. If someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees."

Derek shook his head at her inappropriate outburst, “I panic a lot of other places besides the disco."

Rossi was looking at the room full of the Bureau’s finest and he couldn’t take it anymore, "All this sadness is bad for my skin."

Garcia hustled over to the senior agent and patted him on the back, the crocodile tears were shaking his frame. "Bro, you look so cute right now. Dude, you are so fucking adorable." She was so proud of the progress the question had brought about the team, she kept the game going. "I think I'm subconsciously trying to ruin my own life."

Hotch stood up and flipped his chair backwards, so he could straddle it. As he tossed his hat aside, he tossed his very short locks, "I don't want to look 'pretty', I want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening."

JJ held her heart at Hotch’s honesty, "I may act like I'm sassy but if you're mean to me there's a 900% chance I'll cry."

Reid patted JJ’s back, slyly making a knot in her hair with her cowgirl hat’s drawstring. “Drugs? No thanks, the only 'high' I need is the natural rush you get from committing a murder."

Emily slid her chair closer to Derek and looked him right in his knowing eyes, "Why can't I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?" Derek grabbed her hands in comfort.

“I may be ugly but at least I have an ugly personality too. Consistency is key." The dark agent took a generous sip from his beer.

Rossi was now pacing the room, his hat trailing behind him like a cape. "I could win an Olympic gold medal in being ignored." Garcia had sat down in Rossi’s abandoned chair, putting her feet onto Derek’s lap. "What about netflix and kill?"

Hotch had been doing the chair routine from Flash dance as the team continued the training exercise. After he didn’t have a bucket of water to drop on himself, Reid grabbed the pitcher of beer to complete the choreography. “ Sorry for being awesome, loser." He spat at Reid, who didn’t know if he should clap or bow at their boss’s performance.

"Girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. I don't remember what I was going to say but I'm just gay." JJ had started talking as she kicked the chair that Reid had left towards Emily. Emily was ignoring her while she continued to comfort Morgan. Reid quickly returned with his abused chair, sitting beside Hotch, trying to mimic his stance.

“My kink is being right." He offered to his boss.

Emily barely controlled her laugh, cradling Derek’s bald head in her lap. "I am bysexual as in I'm not interested, goodbye." Derek was crying too hard to take his turn.

Rossi shouted his answer from the corner where he was now trying to get the waitress’s number. "My kink is being home alone."

Hotch had to put Reid in his place, the kid just didn’t have the skills to master the seminal 80s dance routine. "You're really sensitive for a selfish asshole." as Reid was starting to pout.

"No offense but why does everyone hate me?" Gideon said over speakerphone. JJ was angrily shredding straw wrappers and also trying to talk Reid down from actually groveling at Hotch’s wing-tips."I'm small, queer and something to fear."

Reid stormed off, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. He tapped his toe, waiting for Hotch’s apology.  "I'm a strong independent introvert who don't need no social life."

Emily looked over the puddles of spilled drinks and empty beer bottles, as if seeing JJ for the first time. "She's beauty, she's grace, she's me."

Derek sat up, realizing Emily wasn’t in the comforting kink anymore. "I'm cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive"

Garcia decided she should begin to wrap up the activity, too many people had left the table. Besides the next booking, a Bat Mitzvah, the family had begun bringing in decorations. "I'm beautiful and underappreciated."

Rossi was kissing the neck of the waitress in the corner, slipping the young Jewish kid a twenty to take pictures.  "To be honest I just need a hug."

Hotch was refusing to apologize to Reid, but he did know what would cheer him up. "Wanna watch this murder documentary with me?" He proudly held up his phone, teasing Reid’s curiosity.

JJ was sending spit wads across the table at Morgan while Emily kept score."I may act  like I'm clueless but actually know what's going on at all times."

Reid gave in and mumbled, "I try not to sound like an asshole but it's really hard because I am an asshole," to Hotch, who let him sit on his lap to finish the You Tube video together.

Emily looked between Derek and JJ’s turf war and shrugged her shoulders. “This could be less hetero.”

Derek clapped as JJ spiked another mushy ball into his glass. "I can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, I have a big heart and can't treat people badly, that's just not me."

Penelope was in the corner, prying hand-sy Rossi off of the help. The waitress whined at the blonde, “Please! I'm so tired of not being a multimillionaire." She held out her hands in longing as the surprising strong tech angel pushed her back into the hallway.

Garcia stomped her feet in frustration. The team was a mess, they hadn’t even kept their hats on. Well except for JJ and Reid, but she was pretty sure she would have to cut JJ’s hat out of her hair later. “Guys? I'd love to relax but that's just not realistic."

Everyone stopped where they were. Hotch and Reid were watching the gag reel at the end of the documentary. JJ had won Emily in the battle of the spitballs, so she held her over her shoulder like a caveman and a fresh meal. Derek was trying to catch Rossi’s attention, because the Jewish kid was still recording with the famous author’s phone. Rossi was preening, trying to straighten his cowboy ensemble after his make out session.

Reid trembled at being chastised, again. "I don't have a nervous system. I'm a nervous system."

Hotch patted the thin man’s back, trying to console him. "I have this problem where I isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because I'm lonely."

Derek walked over to comfort Hotch now, "I'm the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know."

Emily was really annoyed at being carried around the room by now. "Why do I get struggles instead of snuggles?"

Rossi nodded at Garcia, she was done with this HR mandated crap fest. He graciously footed the bill and left.

Garcia stormed off closely behind the BAU veteran. Calling behind her back, "This is it, this is how I die: Lack of attention."