#i have coping skills that are helpful and im getting better at recognising when i feel bad
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it's an odd feeling when you realise you've actually been doing pretty well like there's been a couple hiccups but nothing drastic and it kinda feels like the other shoe really should be dropping
#i havent hurt myself deliberately in months#i havent had a panic attack in months#i have coping skills that are helpful and im getting better at recognising when i feel bad#depersonalisation is an issue but its not too bad most of the time#i let myself sleep in today because i was so tired and i woke up an hour later feeling awake and ready to shower#anyway i kinda feel like i should have a panic attack or a breakdown or something#just because that part of me is fading a little and it it spiteful and hurting and doesnt want to leave#thats okay lil guy i wont forget you#you dont have to hurt me to be a part of me
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i don't have anyone so a stranger feels better but i think im going to kill myself soon. i don't see myself living anymore. everything is so doom and gloom
hey i'm so sorry to hear this and i get it 100%. i understand that clichéd words of comfort often ring hollow during times like these, so i won't just spout off empty platitudes. honestly i genuinely empathise with what you're going through and i totally recognising that words can't alleviate the overwhelming turmoil you're experiencing. it's so difficult to be in this headspace day after day, and it's completely understandable to feel drained/on the verge of giving up. existence can be exhausting and sometimes that's just all there is to it.
nevertheless, i hope you're able to reconsider eventually. i hope you're able to get to a place where you're able to see that your current mental state may not accurately reflect reality. your mind may be distorting your perceptions and endlessly catastrophising, as is common w suicidal ideation. it's important to realise that the intensity of these emotions is temporary and doesn't inherently define your future. i know that doesn't ring true right now but it is not impossible that it will eventually. while it might sound trite, reaching out to someone—a friend, your gp or a hotline—can offer the support you need not to suddenly and magically get better, but to safely collapse without harming yourself until you feel ready to stand up again. i'm not suggesting it as a simple or easy solution, but rather as a reminder that you don't have to face this alone. you still have options, even if it feels like you're trapped.
whether you need to cry, vent, distract yourself or just rest, it's all valid. take things moment by moment; that's all that's required of you right now. your presence is so so noticed and your safety is so important. If you feel like you're at risk, please prioritise getting to a secure location and reaching out to someone, even if it means overriding the current impulses of your own mind. you're not alone, and there are so many ways to begin confronting these feelings of suicidal ideation head-on without having to hurt yourself to do so - finding the root causes of why you feel this way, building a routine based off of healthier coping mechanisms, verbalising what's going on in your brain - it all helps. your brain is going to register it as bullshit at first, and that's alright. it's not a cure, and i understand that it's tiring to have to keep trying when it's the last thing in the world you want to do. but it'll give you some space between the intensity of your thoughts and your emotions. with time, it'll make it so that you're able to live a full and manageable life alongside the depression. there's no timeline for it, and it's a lifelong project, which i know isn't ideal. i just think you deserve to give yourself some grace and some time. please, take care of yourself and at least consider rethinking what you're saying to me. i care about you and will be here if you need to talk or anything. please visit the resources below if you feel like you're at your wits end and don't know what else to do. even if they're of no help to you right now, maybe you could come back to them some time. sending a big hug. x
international suicide hotlines / coping with suicidal thoughts pdf / creating a crisis plan / suicidal ideation coping skills / suicidal ideation coping skills 2
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ADD/Aspie? problems
If you’re Aspie, Autistic or ADHD I need your help. Please, I need to know Im not going insane....
For a while now I’ve felt like I might be on the autistic spectrum too as well as having ADHD PI. When I got tested for ADHD the second time the expert claimed it was impossible I had ADD and rather thought my results looked like OCD. Also, my sister is diagnosed with Aspergers. I read somewhere that siblings of autists often display autistic symptoms even if they wouldn’t be diagnosed when tested. I’ve done my fair share of therapy in my life, and I always felt that it didn’t really help with the real problem(s). I’ve been dianosed with stuff like
- Depression/ Mild Depression/ Winter Depression
- Social Anxiety Disorder
- Generalised Anxiety Disorder
- Bipolar Disorder
- Mood issues due to hormones ™��
- Issues due to boredom and a high IQ
- auditory processing issues
- bla bla bla yaddayadda
None of it I ever felt cut to the case. When I started Methylphenidate I stared to feel more “normal” and less “out of it” for a lack of a better description. My mood stabilised and Improved. That was the only thing that helped so far.
My real problem, however, is routines and time schedules. Planning and keeping up with my life. Creating schedules that make me happy and feel calm instead of angry because I constantly have to change them. Whenever there is no structure in my life, I get worse. And the structure cannot just be any loosely planned idea, it needs to account for me missing/loosing/misplacing things and then the plan, the whole nice planned out day is garbage because I’m behind and that messes up my whole plan.
There’s a couple of issues I have, namely internalised intense shame, being neurodivergent and being queer. None of which was ever recognised by any of my therapists. Instead I got diagnosed with all kinds of bullshit that ticked their boxed, and none of the treatments helped. None of it. I was like I was an alien talking a different language.
Now I feel like right now I need structure, routines that make me happy, my environmrnt needs to change or I’m going to just keep loosing the will to get out of bed.
I feel like I‘m losing a battle and I have been for a long time. I just want to hide and cover my ears and not deal with my life or people/mess/noise/bright lights/moving objects/desicion making in general.
Hide and watch all Star Trek series from beginning to end until I die from old age.
I dunno, is it possible I have been misdiagnosed so crassly? Did take them about about 16 years to come up with ADHD too so...
I just know that if I‘d be super planned doing relaxing stuff in very serene routines I‘d snap into being the happiest personality ever. That. Is. Not. Depression. That. Also. Isn‘t. Anxiety.
What the fuck should I do? I‘m too embarassed to try get a diagnosis for Aspergers, I feel like there is a good chance that a test would come back negative due to my coping mechanisms and masking skills and because my brain just being semi-Aspie-somewhere-between-ADD-and-Aspie. I‘m at my wit‘s end.
#adhd#adhd problems#adhd things#actually add#add#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#aspergers#autism#star trek#mental health#mental heath support#mental help#to other autistic people#maybe autistic#maybe Aspergers#asperger syndrome#adhd symptoms
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I quit my job as a cashier after working a few days because I was getting too overwhelmed and on the verge of a meltdown by the time I got home. My mom didn’t like that I quit, and I’m about to graduate so I’ll just be at home all the time until college. But now I just feel like Im a huge disappointment and my mom says I need to suck it up because thats how the real world is. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for autistic friendly jobs and also how to get over feeling like Im not enough
We have a lot of suggestions in our employment tag: http://askanautistic.co.uk/tagged/employmentThe first days in any new job are bound to be more stressful because there’s a lot of new things to get used to, and any mistakes are more stressful if you’re new and not sure how to deal with them. If you were working entire days then it might be that only working half days would be better for you. Over time you might adjust and feel that you could work longer hours if that’s something that would be better for you financially.You could also think about different roles that might be more suitable. If working on a till and having to deal with customers is difficult, working in a stock room, or stacking shelves, or being the person who collects all the items for home deliveries might be preferable. I know of someone who works nights when the supermarket is very quiet, and who is able to listen to music via headphones while he goes around collecting the things on the list.Different shops (smaller shops, more quiet shops, or shops that appeal to a special interest) might be more suitable, or a different job altogether (again, you just need to think about the skills you have, the things you find difficult, and what your interests are as they might be more motivating and might help you develop skills).There are organisations that support disabled people in finding and keeping work. Which services are available to you will depend on where you live, but you should be able to find some of this information and links to some organisations in our employment tag.Try not to feel too bad about this situation. You tried and it didn’t work out - that’s not really a big deal. Explore your options, and next time you apply for a job you’ll hopefully be more confident that it’s something you can do without making yourself unwell, and you’ll be better prepared and better able to cope. It can be hard to find a suitable job if you have any kind of disability that means you specific difficulties or requirements that other people generally don’t have. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough at all, it’s just unfortunate that other people very often don’t recognise our efforts, or recognise the benefits of giving us the right support to be able to achieve our full potential.Perhaps if you are concerned about what your mother thinks, or she’s saying things that are upsetting you, you could explain that you were finding the job made you unwell and wasn’t really viable as a long term option, but that you’ve been researching to help you find more suitable options (so that she understands that you are making effort and quitting your job wasn’t a flippant decision).If you don’t need a job (financially) at the moment, then perhaps you could explore other options (which might also reassure your mother that you’re making effort and putting thought into your education/employment). You could apply for work experience (in areas you’d like to have a career, or that will look good on any uni/job applications), or you could spend the extra time studying to get a head start for college.
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Do you know of any coping skills for big dips of depression that i can do that doesnt directly involve other people? Im self diagnosed, still in highschool, and no one knows about it and im trying to just get through highschool so i can plan a therapy appointment without having to go through my parents. (Im sorry, i feel like im making no sense, its late and im just.. tired)
I don’t think it’s an ideal idea to just try to get through it alone, you could talk to the school counselor about how you feel day to day, seek more guidance there. Because dealing with it alone is not recommended, even by therapists. It is both not healthy and would/could make you feel more alone.
Have a trusted friend to be there by your side. Isolation is one of many ways to make depression worse. Building a support system is one of the most recommended ways to help combat depression.
Recognise your own thoughts and the drepssion’s thoughts. Giving yourself self-hate is a thing that comes along with depression. Try to block those negative nellies once they pop up. Tell yourself positive things when you start hearing those nasty thoughts. Fight back. You know you’re better, don’t let it make you have self-doubt.
When asking for help, know you’re not being a burden. Your friend or friends do care. They would be willing to help you through the waiting process of a new chapter.
Do things you once liked even if you don't feel like it. Even if your mind is telling you there is nothing that will help. Try to do activities that you once loved another try. It might feel as if you’re wasting your time. Doing this and keeping active can reignite that motivation to your good side.
Eating healthy food is also something that can help combat depression. Indulging in junk food all the time ultimately makes you feel worse, and can heighten the depression. Eating healthy (or healthier) can help you feel better not only mentally but physically as well.
Works Cited: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201110/eight-ways-actively-fight-depression
#Asks#dr-pistachio#Health#Nutrition#Self Care#Coping Methods#Depression#Exercise#Physical Exercise#Living Environment#School#High School#Anonymous
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I have more to say, but Im tired of editing that post. Im happy with what I wrote, so Im just gonna add on in another reblog.
My additional thoughts are this. I hate hearing people say that I am against change, especially when they think its change "for the better." First because theyre making an assumption about me, second because that assumption is wrong, and third because they think they know whats good for me better than I do.
I dont hate change. I find change difficult, but I dont hate it. I am so actively looking to improve my life and the lives of people around me that my PATRON GOD is Loki-- whose canon story literally revolves around challenging the status quo. My religious decisions are not a cure all, either, but he -inspires- me to keep trying to adapt, to keep trying to stand up for myself and for others.
So the whole idea that I hate change is insulting. It takes me awhile. Its difficult for me. I procrastinate. But I always try. I took myself to therapy and got myself medication when I decided I didnt want to be suicidal anymore. I cleaned myself up after deciding I didnt want to be an alcoholic. I did that. Those changes were not easy.
Im not in therapy right now because I have terrible luck with therapists-- mainly that they keep moving away. So the majority of the improvements in my life are self taught. I havent managed to incorperate them all perfectly, but Im practicing. Im educating myself. I do research, but I also follow a number of selfcare and positivity blogs that give out great advice which sometimes applies to me. I look for people with similar experiences, but more importantly I look at the way theyve chosen to cope because maybe their way will work for me too.
And I encourage my wife to do the same. I try to support her in everything she wants to try, because its important to me that she has the space and support to do so. I am extra motivated to change my maladaptive (fancy word for shitty) coping skills so they dont interfere with her own healing. And I try to educate people around me not about myself and my problems but about things that might help them. I talk to people my age about setting healthy boundaries because Ive seen that the majority of us never learned how to do that. Ive talked to my younger sister and her friend about what consent really means, and about how no one has the right to body or slut shame them for decisions they make for themselves.
And im not perfect. Im trying to change the way we eat but thats proving to be difficult. Some days I cant talk to a cashier by myself. I still cant answer the door when people knock, not even for the pizza delivery guy when Im expecting him!
But then Ive got people calling me defensive, calling me difficult, thinking that they know me or what Im about. And I hate that. Some of it is normal from person to person, some of it is neurotypical people thinking they are normal so they must know what neurodivergent people need, and all of it irritates the fuck out of me.
Im working hard and doing well. Ive come a long way from where I was. I dont need everyone to recognise all my tiny accomplishments, or be as proud of them as I am, but I do need people not to undermine them. I need people to understand that when Im having a panic attack that all my everyday anxiety is not a symptom of another impending break down or a sign that Im doing poorly and clearly need more help that they know how to give.
People dont ask me what I need often, so Ive been working really hard on being very open about it when I can be. Its not easy. So yeah, I get pretty "defensive" when people think theyre calling me out. I get pretty defensive when they tell me, "you just dont get how good this will be for you!" I get really tired of, "this is what you need to do" and, "im just trying to help".
Im overwhelmed right now. Im pretty lost and pretty upset. I think all this is pretty much everything on my plate at the moment. I still dont know how to handle it. Im just hoping it will work out...
Had a panic attack at work that kept me locked in a bathroom for almost an hour. I still have to deal with what caused my panic attack tomorrow morning with my HR person. Im not happy about it and not sure what to do.
My company does these retreat things that involves going to a place ive never been before, in situations ive never been in, with people ive never seen– who want me to talk, because theyre “life coaches” blah blah blah. Its like my worst nightmare, except they offer me a sauna instead of the pills a psychiatric hospital would.
But its almost impossible for me to operate outside of my routine until Ive established a place as safe. I couldnt go to my drs appointments alone until I got familiar with the people at the office; theyre the furthest from home I can go by myself. The grocery stores dont bother me much anymore, the gas stations close to home, the urgent care. The mall is still tough for me, depending on the day. I can make phone calls to familiar places.
But like… i have 5 different medications that allow me to do even that much. Without them I was barely able to leave my house for six months just to go to the beach– just the beach where I didnt even have to talk to anyone and no one would notice me.
So, I dunno. Im also pretty worried they wont fire me if I dont go…
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