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katwriting · 2 years ago

Text

Fic: Man's Best Friend

Red, White & Royal Blue // One Shot

5+1 moments of Henry and David through the years. Featuring Arthur, Bea and possibly some Alex.

Word Count: 8.4k // Read on AO3 or continue reading below

One

Norfolk, December 2014

Sandringham is as gray and dull as ever. It's raining and there is barely any light coming through, which makes the ancient walls appear even more daunting than usual.

When Henry gets out of the car, he feels like the walls are staring back at him, the high windows a glassy copy of his grandmother's most judgmental stare. She's waiting there, behind one of those windows, expecting them all for the annual Christmas celebrations. Henry would much rather be anywhere else, literally. With Pez in the Maldives maybe. Or just back at the country house in Wales with his family.

Behind him, the car trunk slams shut and slow steps walk up behind him. His father comes to a stop next to Henry, pulling Henry's suitcase behind him over the gravel.

They look at the ancient brick in front of them for a moment until Arthur lets out a sigh. "You know," he says, "if it were up to me, we would be in Wales right now. Just the five of us. Let you all have a proper family Christmas for once."

Henry laughs at the thought. "I bet Gran would be thrilled about that."

Arthur pats his shoulder. "Don't worry. I have annoyed your grandmother so many times over the last twenty years. One more time really isn't going to matter."

He winks at Henry, then starts walking towards the main house. "Come on, son. Let's get this over with."

They don't get a moment to themselves for the next approximately 48 hours. Between the official family reunion, the photo session, the stiff, black-tie event that is Christmas Eve, and the photographed walk to the church service on Christmas morning, Henry feels like he doesn't get a moment to breathe either.

So when Arthur suggests going for a walk on the early afternoon of the 26th, Henry doesn't have to think twice. He makes sure to drive Philip off Rainbow Road one last time for good measure, then hands the controller to Bea and abandons their heated game of Mario Kart.

"Make sure to bring a scarf, you two. I don't need either of you to get sick," Catherine calls after them from where she's snuggled up in the window seat with a book and a fluffy blanket. Arthur makes a show of rolling his eyes, but begrudgingly grabs thick scarves for the both of them from the wardrobe by the door.

When they step out of the castle and the crisp December air hits them, Henry feels like he is taking his first proper breath in days. He lets out a sigh, his breath forming a little cloud in the cold air in front of his face.

Arthur looks over at him and smirks. "I suppose you are about as tired of all of this as I am?"

"You have no idea," Henry says, his shoes scuffling over the pebbles. "Sometimes I wish I'd stayed at Eton for the holidays. But then again, Pez is not coming back until the new year, so."

Arthur makes an offended noise. "You wound me, son. First you stay away from us all year, and then you can't bring yourself to show some excitement about seeing your old man. I can't believe I raised such an ungrateful traitor. I must speak to your mother about this, maybe there's still a chance we can return you."

Henry laughs and bumps his shoulder into Arthur's as they continue walking down the misty trail.

They walk for about an hour and venture into the public area of the Sandringham Estate, their PPOs walking discreetly behind them. Arthur has been working with the same ones for years. He trusts them, so Henry trusts them too.

(He might also trust them because they discreetly got him out of a number of potentially very embarrassing situations over the past year or two. Anyway. Details.)

They are about halfway on their way back to the castle, when an elderly man with a dog walks by. A beagle, fur already slightly gray around the eyes. When they pass, the dog ventures over and barks at them accusingly.

"Dolly, stop it!", its owner says and closes the distance between them. "I'm terribly sorry, she's usually nicer to people. But you know, when they are in one of their moods," he says, completely unaware of who he is talking to.

"Oh, it's quite alright," Arthur says and crouches down to scratch the beagle between its ears. It stops barking immediately. "I used to have one just like that when I was young. Had him for almost fifteen years, he was a good lad."

The man nods. "Oh yes, if you are lucky they get quite old. Dolly here is turning 12 next month, aren't you, girl? I got her as a present for my wife, and after my Nina passed away last year, the old girl has been keeping me company."

Dolly has now moved on from enjoying Arthur's attention to giving Henry her best attempt at puppy dog eyes. And despite her obviously old age, she is still quite effective. Henry laughs and crouches down to scratch her between the ears. The dog positively melts at the attention.

Arthur watches him with a fond smile. "They make for great friends, don't they? Especially when you're lonely. I always wanted to get our kids one, but never got around to it."

"You know, it's never too late for a belated Christmas present," Henry jokes from the ground. He gets up and brushes the dust of his pants. "Or you could put it on the list for next year. I'm sure Mum would be thrilled."

When they have walked on and the man and his dog are out of earshot, Henry leans over to his dad. "Also, having a dog running around Sandringham on Christmas Eve would make Gran go so mad. Just imagine that."

Arthur laughs loudly. "It would, wouldn't it? Even more reason to get one. Maybe next year."

+++

Two

Wales, December 2015

They don't go to Sandringham next year.

In fact, they don't really do much for Christmas at all. Neither of them feels like celebrating, given the circumstances. If Bea hadn't called Henry and practically begged him to come home for the holidays, Henry would have stayed at Oxford. Even the Queen, despite her longstanding indifference towards Arthur, respects their choice to stay away from the extended family celebrations without comment.

They go to the country house in Wales instead, just the four of them. But they don't get much into a holiday spirit there, either.

The thing is, while Catherine found some hiding places back in London, the country house was all Arthur. It's not even an official royal residence, just an old house near a small town that Arthur bought some time after his first Bond movie and used as a hideaway whenever the press and the attention in London got too much. Henry has heard many stories about how he and Catherine would camp out here when they were younger, get to know each other without the scrutinizing glances of the public and the even more scrutinizing glares of courtiers and the queen. He found out later that this was also where Arthur proposed to Catherine, way before they had even thought of asking for the queen's official approval. The movie star and the rebel princess at their best.

His presence in the house is everywhere – in the fluffy old rugs that he picked, the old chimney he'd light a fire in whenever they were here in the winter, the family photos on the wall. He is everywhere and nowhere at all, the memories of him light as the wind drafting through the hallway, yet weighing heavier than the old bricks that carry the roof.

Maybe that's an appropriate analogy, Henry thinks – his father was the foundation that kept their family together. Now that he's gone, they stray apart, like a home that's been dismantled by a storm.

And in in the eye of the storm, there is nothing but quiet. Cold, empty, suffocating quiet.

When Henry feels like he can't take it anymore, he grabs Catherine's keys to unlock the backdoor and steps out into the garden. There are a few concrete steps leading down from the patio to the lawn – his siblings and him spent many summers drawing on them with chalk – and Henry almost slips when he walks. He catches himself on the railing – Arthur put it there after he almost broke a leg once slipping just like Henry almost did. The backyard is abandoned, the grass more brown than green. The sky is covered by heavy clouds and there is thick fog clouding Henry's vision.

It almost feels like Wales misses Henry's dad too.

Henry steps over the wet grass towards the old oak tree in the corner of the garden. There is a swing hanging from a strong branch that he remembers building with his father and Philip, back in the day. Before.

Henry's stomach lurches as he realizes that this is what his life is going to feel like from now on – split into a before and an after.

He leans heavily against the tree and squeezes his eyes shut to fight back the tears. It's ironic, really. Considering the amount of crying he has done over the past months, he should be out of tears by now. But apparently life won't even grant him that small favor. His gaze drifts over to the swing. It's still there, swaying softly in the wind, just like it has for years. For winter holidays, autumn getaways, long weekends in early spring when it was still too cold to stay outside for too long. But it no longer reminds Henry of all those happy memories. Instead, the sight of it just stings.

He remembers building the swing as clearly as though it happened days, not years ago: His dad coming home from an incognito trip to the hardware store, searching in the shed for the right piece of wood. Picking the right tree with his dad and Philipp. His mom's voice calling from the patio, warning them to be careful. Philipp spraining his wrist anyway when an attempted jump from the swing went wrong one day. Himself sitting on the swing, his legs dangling in the air and Arthur next to him on the ground, flipping through an old script. Bea and Philipp playing ball in the grass, Catherine sunbathing nearby.

Just a few short months ago, those moments were memories he looked back on fondly. Now, they feel like relicts from a different time. Henry looks at the old swing, contemplates sitting on it to see if it will make him feel any different, any better, make him hurt any less.

Instead, he sighs because he already knows the answer.

He turns his back on the tree, the swing and the memories, and heads back into the house. His jacket is still on the armrest of the sofa, just where he has carelessly left his stuff for years. His mother would always playfully scold him, tell him to clean up after himself. This year, she doesn’t. Henry's not even sure she realized the jacket was there. Just another one of those things that Arthur's death ripped away from them.

He passes through the hallway and walks out the front door. The PPOs are stationed outside the fence as usual. Henry throws their head of security a hopeful glance. She doesn't acknowledge it, but when her colleagues set off to follow him, she holds them back.

Henry shoots her a little smile. His favorite person on the royal staff might be Shaan, but there is a reason she comes in at a very close second place.

He's made it just a few steps down the road when someone calls his name. When Henry turns around, Bea is following him with quick little steps, bundled up in that ratty trench coat she claims is vintage and a scarf that could better be described as a middle-sized blanket.

"Going somewhere?", she calls after him.

"Can't stay at the house," Henry mutters. His soles drag over the wet pavement. He kicks a rogue pebble out of the way.

Bea catches up to him in a matter of moments. She stops and looks at him for a moment, really looks at him. It's one of those looks she gets when she sees right through him. He hates that look.

"Mind if I join you?"

Henry shrugs and doesn't say anything. But he doesn't send her away either.

They walk in silence for a while, passing by a house or a street sign every now and then, but otherwise not running into a single person. This is what Henry loves about this place. The remoteness of it all, the ability for them to be just them, away from the prying eyes of the public and the even more prying eyes of the people at Gran's court.

They make it to the little town's center and are walking down the main street lined by little shops and a handful of pubs and coffee shops. There are a few more people here, but they don't recognize them. And if they do, they have the decency not to bother them.

"He loved this place so much," Bea says.

Henry sighs. "I know. We came here so often."

He looks around the familiar shop displays decorated with Christmas lights, the coffee shops selling gingerbread flavored everything, the warm light that comes out from the pub windows.

It's almost like nothing changed. Except everything did.

His throat closes up and he takes a deep breath to swallow down the wave of emotion that suddenly hits him.

Grief really is the most unpredictable bastard.

Bea doesn't say anything, but takes his hand and squeezes it gently.

Suddenly, she stops and points at a building that's still brightly lit although it's past 4pm on December 23rd.

Maisie's Pet Shelter, the sign across the door says.

Bea frowns. "Well that one's new for sure."

She nods towards the place. "Wanna head in?"

And Henry would do just about anything to get away from the kind, but still curious eyes from the old ladies having coffee in the little shop across the street. So he nods.

"Sure."

***

There's nobody there when they walk into the shelter – just the front desk, a computer, a bunch of flowers and a few pictures of all kinds of pets on the brightly colored walls. But as soon as they walk in, a bell chimes over their heads and announces their entrance.

"Be right there!", a bright voice calls from behind the doorway that leads out of the reception area and is covered with a colorful curtain. Quick steps approach and a moment later, a young woman walks through, auburn curls bouncing with every step. She smiles at them when she sees them standing in her shop. "Hello, welcome! I'm Maisie! How can I help you?"

Bea smiles at her. "Oh, we just stopped by to check out your shelter. Are you new here?"

The woman – Maisie – nods. "I am, I just opened it a few months ago. Would you like a tour?"

Henry nods and speaks up for the first time since they entered the shop. "Why not?"

Turns out a tour through a shelter full of adorable pets of all ages is exactly what Henry needed. Maisie happily shows them around the different rooms and introduces them to all kinds of animals – from adorable hamsters and rabbits up to pigs, a pony and even a donkey that's deaf and half-blind, but no less adorable. With each kennel they visit and each animal they get to pet and coo over, the iron grip of sadness around Henry's heart seems to lighten a little more.

That is, until they make it to the part of the shelter that houses the latest arrivals and a kennel with a tiny beagle inside. As they walk up to it, the dog rises up on its chubby little feet and pads over to the kennel door. He yaps excitedly at Henry, even though it doesn't quite carry yet.

Henry laughs and crouches down in front of the kennel. "Hello there," he says and reaches a finger through the bars. The beagle taps his cold little nose against them.

"That's one of our newest arrivals," Maisie says from behind them. "We got him just a few days ago. He was supposed to be a Christmas present, but you know how people are sometimes. A friendly guy, that one. He made friends with all of our other dogs. Even with Mr Wobbles over here. They have been inseparable ever since the little guy arrived here."

Henry looks up and sees her pointing towards – well, the most giant cat he has ever seen. It is sitting in the corner, preening and waving its tail, just a few feet away from the little beagle's bed. Henry can't quite pinpoint what it is, but something in the cat's glare unsettles him.

Bea, not so much.

"Oh my god", she coos as soon as she sees the cat. She walks over and starts petting it. Henry can hear the cat's weird purrs all the way from over where he's still busy petting the dog. "Mr Wobbles, though?," Bea says, "what a funny name for a cat."

Maisie grins. "His previous owners named him. A lovely old couple, but they were moving to a retirement home and couldn't bring him with them. They said their grandkids named him and the name sort of stuck."

She tells Bea more about the cat, but Henry is only half listening. The little beagle has now moved on to sniffing Henry's hand, the one that isn't busy scratching the dog's ears. When Henry stops for a second, the beagle nudges its head against his had – as though it wants to tell him to go on. When he does, the puppy lets out a satisfied little noise and settles down next to Henry, looking up at him his enormous dark brown puppy eyes.

Henry is melting.

Maisie's voice draws him out of puppy heaven and back to the present. "They are both still available for adoption, you know? Just in case that is something you both are interested in," she adds, smirking.

Bea looks at him from where she's still snuggling the gigantic cat, its hair all over her coat and a mischievous glint in her eyes. "What do you say, brother? Fancy being reckless?"

Two weeks later, Kensington Palace gets two furry new residents and Maisie's Pet Shelter receives a sizeable donation. Along with it, she's delivered a giant flower bouquet with a card and a photo. It's Bea and Henry in the music room back at Kensington Palace, the young beagle snuggled up in Henry's lap and Mr Wobbles sitting next to Bea, eating what appears to be an entire box of…Jaffa Cakes?

"Merry belated Christmas! Thank you for introducing us to the best Christmas presents we have ever gotten for ourselves. Love – Henry, Bea, Mr Wobbles & David"

Three

London, Summer 2016

Henry never thought of himself as a dog person. Or just a pet person in general.

All of that changed once David came into his life – all soft fur, floppy ears, midnight cuddles and that adorable glance he gets when he wants a treat. Ever since, Henry's world absolutely revolves around his fluffy new roommate. And David quickly turns into much more of a friend than Henry expected.

He is there for everything – the good times and the bad, the happy and sad days, the first anniversary of Arthur's death. Henry's dating disasters and subsequent breakups, Bea's relapse, Philipp's stubbornness. Catherine's empty glance, the Queen's snide comments and Henry's bad moods about her snide comments. He is there when Henry feels like ranting, when he needs someone to listen, when could use a run to clear his head, or when he just needs to curl up in his room and shut the world out for a while.

Most importantly, David is there when Henry comes home from Rio.

His time in Brazil passed by in a whirlwind of heat and handshakes, drinks with important people, polite smiles and meaningless conversations. A toxic mix of smiling for the cameras, discreetly accepting the pills Shaan hands him, just as discreetly taking them and all the while making sure nobody notices how he really feels just about a year after his father's death.

But then, in the middle of it all, shining bright like a lightning rod and just as electric: A head full of dark curls, a yellow flower tucked into the pocket of a loose button-down shirt. A Texan drawl. A smile so bright it stood out even among the most flashing of camera lights around them.

Alex Claremont-Diaz.

The son of the woman who might be America's next president. Radiant, confident, unapologetic, and without a single ounce of doubt the most gorgeous human beings Henry has ever seen. And thus, completely off limits.

At least that's what he has been telling himself to at least somehow justify the fact that he behaved like an absolute idiot when Alex simply wanted to introduce himself.

He's back in his room at Kensington, sitting on the sofa by the window, wrapped up in his oldest cardigan and stress-eating a truly embarrassing amount Jaffa cakes. David is curled up by the fire place, and has been listening to him ranting about his fabulous first encounter with Alex Claremont-Diaz for the better part of an hour now.

Every now and then, he gives Henry a sympathetic wince or barks a little. Henry tells himself that's David's way of trying to cheer him up. Maybe he also just wants to go for a walk. Unfortunately, neither scenario is in the cards until Henry has found a way out of his predicament.

"Can you believe it?", he goes on. "For once in my life, I meet this absolutely gorgeous, charming person and all I can do is make him believe I'm too arrogant to talk to him?"

David gives him another little sympathetic wince. He pads over from his spot near the fireplace, eyes the distance between the floor and where Henry is sitting, then hops up and into Henry's lap. David has gotten much better at that, Henry realizes – when he was a puppy, he could barely climb over the edge of his dog bed. Now, he jumps onto the couch or Henry's bed like it's nothing.

Henry scratches him behind his floppy little ears. David stretches out his paws and yawns in satisfaction.

"And you know what's the worst bit?", Henry goes on. "I had a plan, David. I was going to get the Olympics over with, preferably without completely embarrassing myself and then go on a nice holiday or something. Just…get away from everything for a while. Think about what I'm going to do next. No drama allowed. And yet, here I am."

David looks at him from his big brown dog eyes. Henry thinks there's something understanding in them.

He looks at his dog, who from the looks of it, couldn't be more comfortable if he tried. "You're such a good boy, aren't you? I wish I could switch places with you sometimes. You don't have to worry about gorgeous Americans who will probably never talk to you again."

"Well that sounds depressing," a voice chirps from his door.

Henry jumps and turns around to see his sister standing in the doorway. She's got a smug smile on her face and that awful cat of hers on her arm. Henry swears Mr Wobbles gained at least another five pounds since he last saw him before Rio.

"You know, you need to stop feeding Mr Wobbles so many treats."

"Nonsense. He's a little small for his weight, is all."

Scoffing, Henry looks at the frankly gigantic cat who, even though he is a goddamn cat, manages to somehow stare right back at him. Smugly.

"Anyway, stop trying to distract me from the giant rainbow-colored elephant in the room. Why don't you just apologize to Alex?"

"How would you know I was even talking about Alex?"

Bea shoots him a look.

Henry sighs. "Fine. But seriously, how would I do that? It's not like we exchanged contact details before I behaved like an absolute arse to him."

"You know, there's this thing called the internet," Bea deadpans, "and another one called Instagram DMs. Welcome to the 21st century, brother. I'm starting to think all these books about regency England are starting to rub off on you."

Henry grabs the nearest pillow and throws it at her. "Stop Austen-shaming me in my moment of crisis. Her books are still better than whatever you're reading. What was that again? People and the latest trending threads on Twitter?"

Moments later, the pillow comes right back at him. "Stop trying to change the subject, then!"

Bea walks over to the couch and sits down next to him, reaches for his Jaffa cakes and feeds one to Mr Wobbles. "So. What happened with the American?"

Henry sighs. "Where do I start? We were at the diving finals, and I ran into him backstage and he introduced himself and wanted to shake my hand and I…well, I wasn't really in a mood to talk to anyone because that day was absolute hell and packed with boring people, and then there was Alex and I sort of panicked and I sort of…asked Shaan to get rid of him?

Bea gives him one of those looks she always gives him when she knows he fucked up, but doesn't want to tell him so. "You did not."

If the floor was so kind as to open a hole for Henry to jump into, he would do so without a second thought. Right about now. "I did. And I could punch myself in the face for it. But I still did and now the possible future First Sone of the United States it going to hate me for the rest of his life."

"You're an idiot." "I know."

"Also you are gone on him."

"I know. A terrible decision, really."

Bea chuckles and feeds Mr Wobbles another one of Henry's Jaffa cakes. Henry is so distraught he doesn't even bother telling her off.

She looks at her obese cat for a moment, then back at him. "I mean, now that I heard the story I have to admit you're right. You did behave like an arse. And Alex might hate you now, sure. But who knows – you might get lucky within all of this."

Henry frowns. "What do you mean?"

"His mum is just a presidential candidate for now, isn't she? Maybe she ends up losing and you'll never have to see him again. Presto, problem solved."

"Maybe", Henry concedes, picking at a loose thread in the couch cushion. "I'll just hope for the best."

He doesn't tell her that never seeing Alex again is the absolute last thing he wants. But then again, it would make things a lot easier for him, wouldn't it? So maybe it would not be such a bad thing. Maybe Bea is right after all.

Six months later, Henry wakes up to the news that the next president of the United States is going to be Ellen Claremont.

Upon reading the news, he drops his phone on the mattress next to him and yells into his pillow. Apparently, easy isn't in the cards for him for another while.

Certainly not for the next four years.

Four

London, Summer 2018

It is, indeed, everything but easy. But thankfully, David is there to listen to Henry as always.

Even when he's acting like a hopelessly lovesick fool.

Especially then.

Five

London, December 2020

It's another one of those early, gloomy winter mornings and Henry is out at the park with David. David is antsy today, tugging at his leash, wagging his tail, and barking at every other tree they pass. His excitement proves to be contagious – even Henry finds himself in quite a good mood today. Ever since the disaster at Philip's wedding (Martha has been dragging his ass for weeks about it), him and Alex have been talking more or less every day. Alex's texts come in at all hours of the day and night, sometimes at such an ungodly hour that Henry gets slightly worried about Alex's sleep schedule. Or just…his general ability to sleep. But nevertheless, they are a beacon of light in otherwise dull days and Henry would not miss them for the world. Even if his own sleep schedule has to suffer for a bit.

As they're walking, Henry's phone chimes with a new message. Given that it is just past 6 am on a Sunday and there is no humanly possible way Pez has risen from the dead yet, there is only one person the message could be from.

ACD 🦃 I have a situation. Some help please?

Upon reading the message, Henry lets out an exasperated sigh and tries to ignore the treacherous warmth bubbling up in his chest. He sits down at a park bench and clicks the extend button on David's leash. On second thought, he lets out a sharp whistle and waits until David abandons the puddle he'd been inspecting and trots over to him.

"Sit, David", Henry says and scratches David behind the ears. He unclicks David's leash altogether and takes David's favorite toy out of his messenger bag. He tosses it out into the meadow. "Go on, mate. This might take a while."

As David trots away, tail wagging happily, Henry hits the video call button on his phone and waits for it to connect. Ever since The Great Turkey Calamity, they found that video calls were a lot more convenient for them. Alex says it's because he needs Henry to "see my goddamn face and gestures" for him to really get his point across. Henry just happily obliges him.

When Alex picks up, Henry spots familiar glass paneling and a stack of comic books in the corner.

"The solarium this time?"

Alex sighs and runs a hand over his face. He looks tired. "Yeah. I needed somewhere quiet. Leo's on some engagement with mom tonight and June rarely comes up here. So."

"Hm."

A beat. Alex twists one of his curls around his fingers. It's only then that Henry realizes that he is once again perched upside down on one of the chairs up there. It makes Henry smile a little.

"Where are you? That doesn't look like Kensington Palace to me."

"Just out for a walk."

"Before 7 am on a Sunday." Alex doesn't even try to make it sound like a question.

Henry raises an eyebrow. "You're one to talk. What time is it now for you, 2 am?"

"Point."

Henry shrugs. "So what was that situation you talked about?"

Alex runs a hand over his face. "The fucking color scheme for New Year's."

Henry raises an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"The color scheme for, you know, the New Year's Young America Gala? The party we use as a ruse each year in order to get absolutely fucking wasted with half of the hottest young people of the country? The one we throw literally every year and that's like…the hottest New Year's Party in the country? Come on, Henry, pay attention. I can't do all the work here."

Henry rolls his eyes fondly. "Alright then. So what's going on about the color scheme?"

"It's more like what isn't going on about the color scheme at this point, man. Nora wants rainbow colors, June wants pastel, the PR department wants red, white and royal blue…and for some reason, everyone keeps annoying me about it. Do I look like a goddamn expert on fuckin' party confetti colors to you?"

"Well you are one of the hosts, so…"

"Ha ha. Very funny. You know, if I wanted someone to be all smart about it, I could have just talked to June."

Henry smirks. "Where is she, anyway?"

"Fuck if I know. She's been obsessing over the guest list all day and now her and Nora have gone MIA, but left me pretty clear instructions that I am to take care of the confetti thing."

"So I am your lone help in solving this color-coded matter?"

"Sort of."

Letting his gaze wander over the meadow, Henry smirks. David is apparently done inspecting a pile of leaves and is now coming back towards the bench.

"Well, lucky for you I shall not be the only one you have to rely on in this very delicate matter. We got some help." He whistles sharply and David's little feet speed up as they close the last few steps up to the bench. He hops up and nudges Henry's elbow, making the hand holding his phone wobble a bit.

Alex's tinny voice perks up as he puts two and two together. "Oh wait, is David here too? Let me say hi! Hi David!"

Henry sighs fondly. "Alright. Say hi, mate." He lowers the phone so Alex gets a screenful of adorable, slightly muddy Beagle. "Alex has an issue that he would like to discuss with us. And we need your help since you're the best with just about everything."

"Hey little buddy," Alex coos through the phone, "God, you're so adorable. Okay listen, I gotta pick colors for this party thing and your dad is no help, so you have to help me out here, alright?"

David tilts his little head to the side a little bit, just like when he's listening to Henry. If Henry weren't so absolutely gone on Alex, he would find it a little disquieting how easily David opened up to him. But then again, he's one to talk.

Luckily, Alex doesn't notice any of Henry's internal turmoil. Instead, he is busy explaining the New Year's Party to David, in all detail.

"…So, we got option A, rainbows. You know, the colorful things on the sky when it's just rained and the sun comes out and it looks all pretty and colorful and –"

"Dogs don't see all colors, Alex", Henry chimes in.

"-don't listen to your dad, I think that you could do anything you want to do. Anyway, so we got the rainbow option…"

David stays silent.

On the screen, Alex grins. "Hm, no? Okay, then the other option would be pastel colors, you know like flowers in the spring when they're just coming out and-"

A bug flies by. David tries to eat it.

"I see how it is then. Okay, David, so last option – we got this dark blue theme going on with like –"

At that, David barks and tries to lick the screen. Henry pulls his phone away at the very last second, but there's still a bit of dog slobber all over the screen.

Alex laughs.

David blinks.

Henry melts.

He clears his throat to cover it up. Luckily, it's Alex who keeps talking and Henry doesn't risk embarrassing himself any further.

"Well, looks like we got a decision. Thanks David, I appreciate it," Alex says, smirking. "You've been a great help. Much better than your dad."

"Hey! I brought the two of you together, it's not like I didn't do anything at all", Henry says to cover up the fact that he didn't do anything at all.

On screen, Alex is now telling David how good of a dog he is and absently running his hand through his hair, making it just the tiniest bit messier than usual. A stray curl falls into his face.

Henry is officially going to die.

Mercifully, Alex decides that he has tortured Henry enough for one day.

"Alright y'all, thanks for helping me. I'm gonna let you all go continue your walk and pester June some more about the guest list. Talk to you soon."

When he hangs up, Henry lets out a sigh. He looks over at David, who is still sitting on the bench next to him and is looking at him quite quizzically.

Henry sighs. "Stop looking at me like that. I already know I am in so much trouble."

***

The next day, Henry receives an email from Shaan.

June Claremont-Diaz has invited you to the Young America Gala on New Year's Eve. Would you like to attend? The invitation includes a plus one. Maybe Mr Okonjo would be interested in joining you?

Attached, as always, is a calendar invite. Shaan likes to have these things in order.

Henry has never clicked "Attend" to one of Shaan's calendar invites faster.

When he looks up, David is back by side, looking up at him with that slightly judging look he sometimes gets. Mostly when he knows Henry has done something stupid. Henry is sure he got that look from Mr. Wobbles.

He lets out a sigh and pets David's head. "Stop it. I'm only human."

And instead of pondering on it for much longer, he opens his chat thread with Pez and starts typing a new message.

What are you doing for New Year's?

Five

London, January 2020

He should have known.

Nothing good ever came from him actually being excited about something. About someone.

Henry really needs to stop putting himself into miserable situations like that. Well, actually, he just needs to stop kissing gorgeous Americans at New Year's and then running away.

He's back at Kensington, has been for a few days, but his mind is still under that Linden tree at the White House. Never actually left. At this point, Henry has some serious doubts that it ever will.

He gets up. Paces through the room. Sits back down. Yells into one of the ugly pillows on the even uglier couch. Makes a note in his mind that he needs to get a new one. If he doesn't die of embarrassment first, that is. Starts pacing again.

However, none of it will make what happened on New Year's go away. It's all like a slow, torturing movie playing in the back of Henry's head – with the sole purpose of tormenting him and making him feel even more miserable about the whole thing. And if that doesn't suffice, there's always Alex's texts and phone calls.

He has been ignoring him for days now. Which would be fine if there weren't the state dinner later that month. Which Henry needs to attend. In person. And can't back out of because of their stupid best-friends-rouse agreement that's got him into this fucked up situation in the first place.

It's not that Henry didn't try to get out of the state dinner. He actually talked to Shaan about it. Or at least, tried to. Until Shaan raised one unimpressed eyebrow and reminded him that unfortunately, Henry was bound to the agreement and there was nothing he could do "unless you would like to discuss this personally with Miss Bankston, sir."

Henry very much wouldn't.

He hates his life a lot of the time. But today just a little extra.

Even more so when the stylist calls and asks him what he would like to wear for the state dinner. When Philip texts and reminds him to make the new prime minister look good. When Shaan forwards him a briefing by the Downing Street press team about the photo ops they're going to have to do at the White House. When he finds a staged photo with the Prime Minister, the President and the White House Trio at the top of that very list. And just a little more when he learns that he is being sent on another one of those fake dates with some model or aspiring actress to keep up appearances. Which is of course going to be photographed and put into the press. For all the world, including Alex Claremont-Diaz, to see.

Henry is so royally fucked.

Even David winces a little when Henry tells him about his situation. When Henry eventually slouches on the couch, David hops up into his lap and snuggles into him. Henry lets out a sigh.

"You know, I'd like to tell myself that there's nothing that could possibly go wrong", he muses and scratches David's head, "but that's what I told myself last time. And now here we are."

David winces in support. He climbs into Henry's lap and lays down, rolling into a ball of fluff. His cold little nose touches Henry's hand. Somehow, it's a little soothing.

Maybe there is a way to get through this. It's only a dinner, after all.

+ 1

New York, June 2021

"Love, hurry up. We're going to be late."

There's a curse coming from the vague direction of the bedroom, then the thud of footsteps rumbling down the stairs. Well, one footstep. Because for some reason, Alex is still pulling a sock over his other foot as he descends the staircase.

If they weren't almost late already, Henry would take a moment to appreciate that level of balance.

Instead, he cocks an eyebrow at Alex from opposite the stairs, where he's leaning against the wall and waiting. Shoes (and socks) on, jacket in hand, ready to go.

"You're going to trip and break your neck at some point."

Alex grins smugly. "Perhaps. But at least I know you'll write me one hell of a eulogy."

Somehow, Alex makes it to the bottom of the staircase without breaking his neck. Henry is secretly glad for it. Not only because he intends to keep Alex around for the rest of his life, but also because – well, it would be quite the situation to explain to paramedics et al. Henry would much rather avoid that.

"Besides, what do you mean we're gonna be late?" Alex asks as he pulls one of Henry's old Oxford hoodies over his t-shirt. He walks over to the hallway closet and starts rummaging around for something. Henry internally winces as scarves, caps and the occasional dog outfit start dropping out at random. He just organized that closet the other day. "We're talking David for a walk. Last time I checked, beagles don't know how to read a clock."

"Excuse you, I did raise him to be very punctual," Henry counters.

Alex scoffs from where he's halfway disappeared into the closet. "He's a goddamn dog, H."

At that, David winces.

Immediately, Alex steps away from the closet and crouches to the floor to pet David's head. "I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't mean that. You know I think you can do anything you set your mind to."

"You better," Henry mumbles. He and David take a step closer to the front door. Alex, not so much.

Henry pointedly checks his watch again. "Come on now, or we're going to be late for real."

"It's still a walk, H. The two people and one dog involved in it are right here. There's no way we can be late", Alex mumbles, his voice muffled because he's back to rummaging around their winter clothes.

"Well, there is if two of the three involved individuals made lunch plans with June and Nora after."

"They're used to me being late. It's fine."

Henry rolls his eyes again, but relents anyway. It might have to do with the fact that Alex finally emerges from the closet, all soft eyes and even softer smile. After all, Henry is only a man.

So, he extends the arm that isn't holding David's leash and lets Alex step into his embrace. He pulls him close, breathes in the familiar scent. Alex wraps his arms around Henry's waist and lays his head against his shoulder.

Henry drops a kiss on Alex's curls and lets himself enjoy the familiar warmth of Alex's hug for a minute.

Until David yaps again, that is.

This time, Alex lets out a laugh. "Alright, alright, buddy. Message received. We're leaving."

He leans up and kisses Henry softly, then plucks David's leash from his hand and steps away, towards the door. He shoots Henry a smirk. "You coming? I don't wanna be late."

It's only been a few months since Henry and David moved across the pond, but thanks to their daily walks, they have been able to explore plenty of nice routes in nearby parks. They are close enough to be enjoyable, but far enough away from the main trails to allow them a modicum of privacy.

Henry walks David before he leaves for the shelter and then once again after he comes home. Alex joins them often enough, particularly when he needs to clear his head, rant about his day, or both.

Today, however, is the rare kind of weekend where neither of them is all that busy and they can take a walk just for walking's sake. No deadlines, papers or exams breathing down Alex's neck (yet), no thoughts about the shelter occupying Henry's mind. Just the two of them and David, relaxing and enjoying the summer sun.

Henry has David's leash in one hand and Alex's hand in the other, the sun is shining, but it's not unbearably hot yet. Later, they're going to meet June and Nora at a restaurant June has been dying to try out. And maybe check out the new Bond movie Alex has been nagging Henry about for weeks. But other than that, their day is blissfully empty.

Henry could get used to this.

He smiles softly at the thought. Because he does indeed get to get used to this.

Alex's voice brings him back to reality and the track ahead of him. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking."

"Wanna share with the class?"

Henry gently shakes his head and lets go of Alex's hand so he can wrap his free arm around his shoulder. "It's nothing, really. I was just getting a bit sentimental. About how nice this is, you know? Taking David for a walk, meeting up for lunch with friends, and doing whatever we want, just because we can. It's a nice change."

Alex's arm snakes around Henry's waist and squeezes. "You deserve it."

Henry smiles. "I know. It's just sometimes a little hard to wrap my head around. But I do know."

He looks to Alex and meets his gaze. Alex's brown eyes are all soft again, and filled with pride.

"Freedom looks good on you, baby."

The raw, honest emotion in his voice gets Henry a little emotional too, so instead of replying, he leans down and presses a soft kiss to Alex's lips. And Alex is right – there is something to be said about having the liberty to kiss his own boyfriend on a sunny day in a public park, just because he wants to. Especially when said boyfriend runs one hand through his hair and uses the other one to pull him closer, and they can let their kiss become slightly more involved than Henry initially intended.

It's only when David pulls at his leash and barks that Henry pulls away to see what's going on, half alarmed that it might be something bad.

It is, actually, quite the opposite. A few steps down the path, David is approaching a puppy that looks heartwarmingly like David when Henry first met him. David barks once more, twice, then starts playing with the puppy as though they have been friends forever.

From the opposite end of the pathway, a young woman comes running, looking alarmed and slightly panicky. When she spots the puppy playing with David, she slows down.

"Sorry," she says towards Alex and Henry as she approaches, panting and face bright red. "I'm still trying to get him to get used to staying by my side, but it's a bit of a struggle."

"It's fine," Henry replies. "David here doesn't mind meeting new dogs."

"I'm glad," the girl says. She's now caught up to them and stands next to them, watching the two dogs play. "You named him David? That's adorable."

"After Bowie," Alex chimes in. "My boyfriend here is a huge fan."

The girl laughs. "That's adorable. Mine's called Abby. Not after anyone. I wish I had a story as fun as yours, though," she says. "He's a beagle too, isn't he?"

Henry nods. "He is. I got him a few years ago when I was…not having the best of times. But he's been my best mate ever since."

His heart sinks a bit at the reminder of why and when he got David. As though he'd sensed it, Alex's hand sneaks into his, squeezing lightly. Henry squeezes back and clears his throat.

"How long have you had yours?" he asks.

The girl laughs. "Oh, just a few weeks actually. I just moved to the city and didn't know anyone, and I was feeling a bit down and all, so I went to the shelter one day and there she was. And what can I say, that little rascal has been with me ever since. She's a piece of work sometimes, but she's a sweetheart. And she keeps me company through everything."

Henry hums and nods. "They are great company, aren't they?"

His gaze wanders over to David, who is still busy playing with his new friend. His tail is wagging, his little ears are flopping around and he's barking and yapping as if he's having the time of his life. Just like every time he's having a good time – whether it's out at the dog park, meeting new dogs on a walk, or just hanging out with Henry and being there for him whenever he needs him.

Henry's thoughts travel back to a moment from years ago in a park far, far way. A cold winter morning, fog hanging in the air, pebbles crunching under his shoes – so different from the current warm, airy summer day. A warm, familiar voice that he still misses, but whose memory doesn't hurt as much as it did years ago.

They make great friends. Especially when you're lonely.

Turns out his dad was right. David is, without a doubt, just about the greatest friend Henry has ever had. From an outsider's perspective, he may be just a dog – but Henry knows that it's to a considerable part thanks to his (most of the time) unwavering support that he was able to turn into the person he is today: an Oxford grad, a Star Wars Nerd, a part-time prince, a full-time Austen fan, a still relatively new New Yorker. A brother, a son, a boyfriend.

But certainly no longer lonely.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #firstprince fic #henry x alex #alex x henry #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #katwriting

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blank-space-daisy13 · 3 years ago

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Why I won’t invite my biological father to my wedding.

I wanted to post this on Instagram or Facebook but I don’t want to deal with people saying I’m “drama.” But I wanted to write this out just in case someone is ballsy enough to ask me.

Let’s start off with the fact that after he got with my step mom, he wasn’t really around. He also never really cared or tried to take care of us (my brother and me) unless he absolutely had to.

Before my step mom and when we still lived in the apartment, On nights he had us my mom would drop us off already fed, he’d turn the tv on and go play on his computer until we had to go to bed. If he had us on a weekend, same thing. We’d wake up and he’d feed us breakfast, then tv with him in his room on the computer, lunch, tv, dinner, tv, and bed. When we moved from the apartment we stayed at his buddy’s house where he rented a room but guess what? He’d send us down to the basement all day to watch tv, and let us up for meals.

When my stepmom came into the picture, we started going to Canada. On every single one of his weekends. She was nice, at first. Sooner or later everyone shows their true colors. But she started slowly to get a hold of my dad. (My dad had no boundaries with us and she wanted to “help” my dad learn to discipline, but she’s a little extreme.) I once got punished for saying the word “butt” because we only say, “bum” and he yelled at me. Yelled. I was about 7 or 8. Then I heard my future step mother telling him how good he did. Also while we were there, I remember very few times we actually hung out with my dad. It was always being shoved into the playroom with my brother, future stepsister, and sometimes future stepbrother. (Step mom never had full custody of stepbrother.) We’d never leave the playroom other than for meals like the TV. But at least we weren’t rotting our brains, I guess.

After awhile he decided he wanted 50/50 custody. My stepmom at this point could be brutal emotionally. I remember getting yelled at for not knowing any of my immediate family member’s birthdays. I was about 8 or 9. Kind of shitty don’t you think? Going back to the wanting 50/50 custody, he didn’t actually want us. Looking back I understand this now. He just didn’t want to pay as much child support, and that’s probably the only reason my step mom agreed to this. They treated us (my brother and i) horribly. He moved close to my mom’s to prove he’d be willing to do the 50/50 custody, and at that point it was hell. If we did something wrong, immediately we’d get soap in the mouth. My brother later on was getting hot sauce. It would be for things such as, “not sharing with your step sister,” (which she would’ve lied about) or “talking back,” when as a kid I was asking a simple question about their rules. They had so many rules to the point you didn’t realize you were breaking a rule until they told you it was one. My *fondest* memory was when they’d send us kids to the basement for a few hours during the weekend and then got mad when we went through boxes and such to find toys to play with. Because when they first sent us down there, they sent us down there with nothing at all. Sure we probably shouldn’t have gone through boxes, where my brother and I found our toys that they never put with our step sister’s toys, but they sent us down there with nothing at all. They expected us to “imagine” things with no toys. I also got yelled at one weekend because they asked us to clean our bathrooms. (Step sister and I shared a Jack and Jill bathroom and my brother had his own bathroom as well.) We went and picked things up and went back to play. They both yelled at us and said, “If I had meant pick up I would’ve said pick up. I said CLEAN.” At this point I had never cleaned a bathroom in my life. They gave us the cleaning supplies and we went to work. I did what I thought was the best I could do and then my stepmom yells at me, “That wasn’t nearly long enough!!!! Haven’t you ever cleaned a bathroom before?!” Uh no ma’am, I was literally 10. But that was her favorite way to make us feel like shit. To yell, “Haven’t you done XY&Z before?” Or “You don’t know (blank)?! So disrespectful! You should know these things!” (That was said about the birthdays. Again I was a decently young kid.) But going forward, towards the end of them living there, they had a baby together, my other brother J.

Luckily for my brother and I, he eventually gave up going for the 50/50 custody. But with doing this, he left and we didn’t see him for a long time. 5-6 years approximately. I was 15 when he decided he wanted to see us again, and because of everything we had gone through before, we didn’t want to. I had a choice but my brother didn’t, and I was forced to go.

At this point he had married my stepmother, and was living in the same subdivision, and one road away, where had had a house with my mom when they were married. Kind of awkward but ok.

And I have to say, they were better. To a point. They wanted us to feel bad that we didn’t want to be there. At the time I had a really old phone, not a smart phone, that didn’t lock, but they expected my phone to be on the counter at 9pm every night. They read my texts and held them against me, but when I called them out on reading my texts, they told me I was crazy. I would text my friends that I didn’t want to be there, and that I was uncomfortable. They asked me, “Why don’t you want to be here? Why are you uncomfortable? We understand what we did in the past was wrong, but the past is the past and you have to forgive us!” (One wrong thing I was always taught was you always have to forgive. You don’t always have to forgive for things that hurt you.) Finally at the end of this period, they sat us down and tried to make us feel bad by saying, “If you don’t want to be here, we don’t want you here. We want you to want to be here.” At 15 I tried to explain why this was hard, but they didn’t care. It wasn’t their way so they weren’t ok with it.

Fast forward to my Senior Year of high school, I don’t remember how, but my father and I got in touch. My step mom wanted nothing to do with me because of a dumb YouTube video I made at 14 where I “talked shit” about her daughter and herself. Yes, I did, but who didn’t do something dumb at 14? I wasn’t allowed around their house because HER son had a “drug problem.” (Marijuana) Whatever, I didn’t care. Slowly we lost touch because I was the only one calling, and I got sick of it. I was done. But I was still young.

Fast forward to me being a sophomore in college. I was 20 or 21. My brother had an issue that got the police and CPS involved. My father decided to text me and ask me what was going on. I called him and told him that he had “no fucking reason to know what was going on” because he was never around. He gaslighted me into feeling bad because I cussed him out for 10 minutes. But we kept contact after that because I had thought about it and I wanted to get to know my little brother J more. We did lose contact again but then we gain it back later on.

Skip forward a couple years and I’m talking to my cousin, (another thing was he kept us from his side of the family and I had lost contact with most of them until I was an adult.) my cousin told me he was going to MY little BABY sister’s 1st birthday. My father had been talking to me for a few months at this point and NEVER mentioned I had a baby sister. He told me, “I thought your aunt posted about it. I saw it on Facebook and assumed you knew!” It doesn’t matter whether I saw it on Facebook or not. He should’ve told me. But whatever, I let that go too.

Here is where I get frustrated. I wouldn’t call for a couple weeks because I didn’t think about it. I’ve only seen him twice in the past 9 years. But he would blame me for us not talking, when he’d never call or try to talk to me. It drives me crazy when people think like that. It’s not just my responsibility and mine alone.

Skip forward to a few months ago when he brought up politics. I hated this because I’m mostly liberal/democrat and he’s 100% republican. He called liberals “libtards” and goes, “you’re not a libtard are you?” And when I tell him it’s offensive he says, “It’s just a joke!” But now we’re here and yet again it’s been 2 or 3 months since we’ve spoken because he’s blocked my number. It goes straight to voicemail and my texts aren’t going through as iMessages. I’ve decided after trying for over two months, he’s uninvited to the wedding. He’s never met my fiancé, ever. We were only inviting him to be civil. But if he can’t even speak to me, I feel it’s not my problem, and it’s one less drama issue to worry about at the wedding.

My family can believe what they want. There are so many things left out of this 15 year drama circle of my father just disappearing. And I don’t care anymore. I hope someone asks why he wasn’t invited because I know for a fact he’ll be at least telling the whole family that he wasn’t invited. And I don’t mind sending them this so they can know why.

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sarunohadaki · 3 years ago

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DQXI/Octopath Traveler Crossover

Crossover week: Home | 1 | 2 | 3| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

Anyone call for a story idea with just character roles planned but no plot? Oh boy do I have the post for you! I’ve only played through chapter 2 of Octopath but from how things are going I have a few ideas for plotlines… on the whole, however, this post outlines each of the characters and their backstories.

Character descriptions under the cut because it’s long! Mentions of a character who's deaf, another character who's trans, and another character with DID.

I’ve been loving Octopath Traveler, but if there’s one thing I had to nitpick, it’s that there’s not enough moments woven in between all the characters! There’s a “travel banter” feature that covers the thinnest bases, where at some points in the game, the option for travel banter will appear on your screen and you can select it to see two characters have a short conversation. You have no choice in which characters talk to which, and you can’t go to that chat feature whenever. Also, let’s say you’re doing someone’s storyline. The other characters don’t talk in other’s cutscenes!

It sort of feels like there are eight games in one when you format the game that way. It's a little… disjointed.

Premise: Another fusion fic where the eight characters in Octopath are swapped for the team in DQXI (plus Gemma). Each character can still have their own backstories and subplots, but I am hankering hard for an overarching plot and antagonist. Maybe there’s, like, an evil League of Villains or some cult. Shouldn’t be too hard to find a place to slot that in, right?

Just like in the game, you stick to one character’s perspective and travel around to pick up the rest of your team, only in this fic, there’s varying dynamics between all the characters and oh boy it’d be prominent.

Characters

H’aanit ➡ Elimelech (El)

The Hunter

Born deaf, Elimelech hunts with his wolf companion and a quiver on his back. Despite appearances, El is not one to be underestimated; he is the pride of his village, which has recently celebrated his rite to adulthood. However, with adulthood comes an unexpected discovery, one which spurs him to leave the village in search of answers to his true heritage.

A literal strong, silent type. But has his shy moments, too. I can imagine you having to tap his shoulder to get him to see you talking to him sometimes, and he has this cute, brief look of curiosity on his face… 🥺

Similar to how H’aanit spoke in Middle and Old English, I think sign language would be interpreted the same way in this world. So everyone’s comprehension of SL is good, signing back… maybe not so good.

Animal companion (Sandy but beefed up into a wolf) would help him interact with the world, or at least keep him out of trouble.

Therion ➡ Erik

The Thief

Like the muck wiped off someone’s shoe, Erik’s not much wanted in most places, but luckily not thought about, either, which helps when he’s stealing coin purses. After a heist goes wrong, he’s tasked with retrieving priceless heirlooms to get back something important.

Does Derk fit well as replacement for Therion’s best buddy? (Sure?)

Therion was apparently well-known despite no one knowing what he looked like. Maybe I can make the opposite work for Erik.

The whole thing with Therion was getting a silver band off his wrist but I still like Erik’s canon plot more, so I’d find a way to shove that in.

Tressa ➡ Gemma

The Merchant

An ambitious and overly friendly adventure wannabe, Gemma uses an anonymous journal as her guide to the wonderful — and perilous — world beneath her feet.

Original plot for Tressa tracks fine, although wouldn’t it be cool if Gemma’s journal were written by Sudo Nim??

Old Dragon Quest had merchant classes, too. Wonder if there’s anything in those mechanics I could add to this fic.

Gemma and El hit it off right away and converse excitedly about everything from cuisine to cute boys. Though… no one tells Erik, who thinks they’re crushing on each other. (love triangle that really isn’t, haha!)

Cyrus ➡ Rab

The Scholar

Newly retired and looking for a new purpose in life, Rab decides to answer a decade-old mystery. While scholarly work has always been a hobby for him, he’s prepared to get to the bottom of this puzzle and hone his analytical skills in the process.

Definitely NOT following Cyrus’s plotline here

I could still have fired Rab (similar to Cyrus) and claimed workplace discrimination, but I like my alternative: “Rab was the head of a royal estate but got bored and ‘quit,’ putting someone else in charge so he could go fart off elsewhere.”

Is Rab related to El in this??? He could be. (Sercretly.)

Alfyn ➡ Sylvia

The Performer

A talented performer with an elusive path, Sylvia has called many places home. Following in the path of a traveler who once changed her life, she sets out to bring smiles to people’s faces and avoid the roots of a past that refuses to leave her alone.

Alfyn was last on the list when I was doing matching so sorry Sylv that you got matched with this backstory. But I can adjust it to make it work

Sylvia and Alfyn both have the goal of cheering up sick kids and ya know I think Sylv could learn some healing stuff along the way! She’s much more than just a pretty face, you know.

Someone from Sylvia’s path definitely shows up again and that will be trouble for her

Primrose ➡ Jade

The Dancer

Jade’s patience and sharp mind have sustained her through years of hard living, although it is all worth it when she finds her chance to exact revenge upon those who killed her father.

— Pretty straightforward, can take a lot from Octopath’s plot for this one.

— Hard decision of whether to somehow incorporate this into Hendrik’s storyline or make Jade’s father and the king Hendrik serves two completely different people

Olberic ➡ Hendrik

The Warrior

An erstwhile knight of a fallen kingdom, Hendrik melts into life in a quiet mountain village until word comes of a former comrade who’d turned traitor and killed their liege.

Jasper is the traitor, obviously!

As for their slain liege… can it really be Carnelian again when that’s Jade’s storyline? Like a plot twist that they were both following the same guy this whole time? Probably not. Probably needs to be someone different. Or Carny can just be twice as dead.

Ophilia ➡ Serenica (Serena and Veronica)

The Cleric

A level-headed cleric, Serenica serves the faith alongside her adoptive family. She takes up the torch to fulfil a traditional pilgrimage to rekindle light across the realm.

This one is complicated and I’m not sure how I’m going to do it yet

I wanted Veronica and Serena to both inhabit the same body and considered them having Dissociative Identity Disorder. I am very not sure about this. If I do it that way, I’d want to do it properly, with a sensitivity reader, research, etc. Because being respectful is Cool.

(P.s. There was fanart but someone (me) misplaced the art and never took photos of it???)

#Crossover Week #my fic ideas #my writing #Octopath Traveler #dqxi #deaf character #dissociative identity disorder #trans character #character with DID #why am i nervous hahah...

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spookyboywhump · 4 years ago

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Literally every piece I write with Eli and Ev always ends up being 2000 words damn

Here’s smth I started a little while back but only just now finished

CW: Absent/Neglectful parent, self loathing and self deprecating thoughts, brief mention of death and self harm, minor character (17 years old)

***

It was 7:38 p.m. Everett sat there staring at the time on his phone, his leg bouncing anxiously. He knew that Eli got out of school at 4:00. He knew he was usually home by 4:45, closer to 5:00 p.m. if he stopped at the store down the street. He was never home later than 5:30, not without calling or texting anyway, but it was now 7:40 p.m. and he wasn’t home and Everett hadn’t heard from him and he didn’t know why.

He tried calling him again, for the fifth time now, and he listened to the dial tone, his heart sinking when it went to his voicemail again. He instantly sent him another text, all of them unread and unresponded to as of right now. So far he’d gone over every possible terrible situation at least twice, worried he’d been hurt, kidnapped, worried he’d run away or worried that he’d hurt himself. It didn’t matter how far fetched the conclusion was, it all sounded horribly probable to him right now.

“You know, you used to do the same thing when you were his age.” Their mom said casually, grabbing her jacket from the hook near the front door. “He’ll probably be back in the morning, just give him some time.”

“But he’s never done this.” He said, trying to keep the agitation out of his voice. He knew she wasn’t leaving to go look for him, the fact she wasn’t anywhere near worried like he was got on his nerves. “He- He should’ve at least called or just, something if he was okay!”

“I’m sure he’s fine.” She tried to assure him, but it didn’t really mean much coming from her. “I’ll be back later, okay?” She told him, and though he knew it was rude he chose to ignore her, worried he’d snap if he tried to respond right now. The last thing he needed while his brother was missing was to have their mom upset too, that sounded like a complete nightmare. He listened to the door shut as she finally left, sitting there as silence settled over the apartment. He considered going out to look for him himself but he wanted to be there if he got back, he needed to make sure he was okay.

With nothing left to do but wait, he took a deep breath, and he tried to call his brother again.

***

In the back of his mind, he knew he was being overdramatic. He kept telling himself that anyway as he sat on the park bench, his knees pulled up to his chest. He could hear his phone vibrating in his backpack beside him but he didn’t bother to try and answer it. He knew it was Everett, and though ignoring him just made him feel even more guilty, he couldn’t bring himself to even try to respond to him. He worried that if he tried, he’d just break down crying.

I could just… not go home at all, He thought, only to immediately argue with himself, It’s not that fucking bad, get over it and just go home.

He’d been having that argument with himself all day, every small thing piling up. It had been a hard week, he’d felt worse than usual, everything had been harder than usual, each day he was receiving more and more assignments with failing or barely passing grades. It wasn’t like him, he knew that, and each one felt like a knife in his heart, each failure weighing on him heavily.

Stupid stupid stupid- can’t do one fucking thing right

He buried his head in his arms, fighting back tears. A small part of him knew he was being unreasonable, just an overemotional stupid brat, but a bigger part of him was hanging onto the idea that his supposed intelligence was all he had- any mistake would be too big, any mistake would ruin his already miserable life, and one mistake after another was a death sentence.

He knew he should go home. He knew that when he got home, Everett would comfort him, he’d assure him that everything was okay, he’d assure him that this wasn’t the end of the world and that in the long run, it really didn’t matter. He didn’t want to go home. He knew he was overreacting and he was so scared that Everett would be angry if he knew what stupid thing Elias was so upset over- even more scared that their mom would be angry at him for disappearing. The more he thought about it the worse he felt, the more he didn’t want to leave from that spot, so he didn’t.

He sat there in the dark, in the cold, hugging his knees close to his chest and listening to his phone buzz.

He should’ve gone home.

***

Eli hadn’t realized how much time had passed. He’d never been great at keeping track of time, he knew it was late but he didn’t realize how late. He refused to check his phone as he finally wandered home, he didn’t want to see just how many missed calls and messages there were. He already felt sick when he got to the apartment complex, even worse as he climbed the stairs to the second floor. He found himself desperately hoping that Everett and their mom were asleep already, that they’d gotten sick of waiting for him and just stopped caring. He’d never wanted so badly to be forgotten.

He knew he was fucked when he found the door already unlocked, they always made sure the door was locked when they went to bed. He pushed the door open slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible but it creaked as always, the lights were on so he already knew he was caught. He hadn’t even gotten the door shut before Everett was rushing out of the living room, and Eli realized that in seventeen years, he’d never seen his brother mad at him.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” He snapped, and instinctively Elias pressed his back against the door, knowing he couldn’t get back to their room without getting past him.

“Just… out…” He murmured, his eyes glued to the floor, even as Everett approached him. He wondered if he’d be able to get the door open enough to get out and run- he’d never wanted to run from his brother before. He swore his heart stopped when Everett suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders, not roughly but enough to startle him, finally forcing him to meet his eye.

“I’ve been calling you all fucking night! Do you even know how long you’ve been gone?! It’s fucking midnight Elias, where the fuck were you?!” He all but shouted at him. Elias tried to speak, he opened his mouth but no words came out, only a soft whimper. “I thought you were hurt or missing or fucking dead, I was so fucking worried about you, you can’t just disappear like that!” He said seriously, and Eli finally broke down in tears.

“I-I’m sorry- I’m sorry…” He whimpered, he was shaking as tears streamed down his face. This seemed to finally break Everett, he pulled him into a rib crushing hug, holding him as if his life depended on it.

“Please, don’t scare me like that again…” He said, finally calming down himself. He pulled back enough that he could look at him, and Eli could see now he wasn’t really angry, he was scared, and that just made him feel worse.

“I-I’m sorry… I didn’t-I didn’t mean to I j-just…” He let Everett lead him into the living room, sliding his backpack off his shoulder before they collapsed onto the couch, Everett holding him close. “I didn’t… didn’t want to come back… thought about not coming back at all…” He murmured.

“What?” Everett pulled back just a bit, staring at him with wide eyes.

“I thought-thought about leaving… I don’t know where to, I wasn’t thinking clearly I j-just… wanted to leave…”

“Eli, why…?” He asked softly.

“I-I don’t- I don’t know, I-I felt like I sh-shouldn’t, like I-I… didn’t deserve to…” It didn’t make sense to him until he said it out loud, but he realized that’s what it was. He failed the only thing he was good at, he was going to lose the one redeeming quality he felt he had, and somehow to him, that meant he didn’t deserve to go home, it was the only thing he had that he could deprive himself of. Coming to terms with it just made him more upset, he let out a sob as he clung to Everett.

“I don’t know what happened, or why you felt that way, but you can always come home…” He told him, rubbing his back as he cried. “I’ll always be here for you kid, you know that…”

“I’m sorry…” He whimpered. “I-I was being stupid, a stupid stupid brat…”

“Don’t say that, you’re not stupid and you’re not a brat.” He told him. “I don’t want you scaring me like that again though, please, at least tell me you’re okay if you’re going to stay out that long…” He said, and Elias nodded, still crying as he held on to him. He was starting to feel better though, safe and comforted with his brother now, even if he had scared him when he first got home. He was so comfortable with him he didn’t even ask about their mom, if she was worried, if she even knew. A part of him would feel bad for worrying her, but a bigger part hoped she was worried, hope that she felt something over himself being missing. He didn’t ask though, he was content with Everett, who held him close until he finally exhausted himself, crying himself to sleep.

***

Everett ended up falling asleep on the couch with Eli, not ready to let him go right away. He’d been terrified while he was gone, even more scared after what he’d told him. He knew despite his best efforts, Elias wasn’t happy, and he couldn’t blame him for that. Still, the thought of losing him, the thought of him running away was too much for him, and the fact he felt he didn’t deserve to come home was horrifying. He held him close as though he’d run away when he let go, and he eventually fell asleep with him.

He was woken up only a couple hours later when the front door opened, though Eli seemed to sleep through it. He could hear their mom coming into the apartment, closing the door and locking it before passing through the living room, stopping to see them as Everett looked up at her.

“You baby him too much, you know that?” She sighed, looking almost disappointed. She’d been saying that since Eli was born though, he didn’t think too much of it.

“No I don’t… he had a rough night, he needed this…” He said, gently rubbing his back as he spoke, and she just rolled her eyes.

“I told you he’d come back though, I’m sure he’s fine.” She said dismissively, reaching up and affectionately ruffling his hair. “I’ll see you two in the morning, okay?” She said, and he nodded as she walked off down the hall, back to her room. He waited until he heard the door close to move, getting up and picking up Elias, carrying him back to their room, the same way he would when he was a little kid who’d fallen asleep watching tv. Sometimes he still felt like he was a little kid despite the fact he was quickly getting closer and closer to being an adult. He knew he was intelligent and capable of taking care of himself, but he still wanted to take care of him, he just wanted to keep him safe.

He laid him down on his bed, taking the time to take his shoes off for him before pulling the blankets up over him. Almost immediately he shifted in his sleep, easily finding and grabbing ahold of his stuffed shark. Now that he was in bed Everett felt like he could finally relax, going and collapsing into his own bed, burying his face in his pillow.

He hated to know that Eli was suffering, hated even more that he didn’t know how to help. There were some things he couldn’t fix, he knew that, and this was certainly more than he knew what to do with. He knew that he could be there for him though, he could comfort him, and he’d do anything and everything he could to keep him safe, because even the thought of losing him brought back all the fear and nausea he’d been feeling all night.

#this might be emotional whump idk #my writing #my oc’s #minor character #wren #everett

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blueonwrestling · 4 years ago

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Jon Moxley had a great interview with alot of detail about AEW dealing with covid, his wwe exit and a few other things, someone on reddit wrote a great write up of it, and heres a direct link to it just so i can give credit, but heres the lot of it.

Past few days have been hectic at the Moxley household, Renee has been doing a photoshoot for her cookbook, there's food all over in the house, Moxley doing 5-6 trips to the supermarket and messaging Renee "What is a shallot?"

First two months of 2020 has been insane in terms of travelling going from Sapporo, Memphis, Cleveland, Osaka & Texas

2020 before the pandemic was gonna be insane with Dynamite every Wednesday, going to Europe (Yes AEW/UK Tour), Japan, Indie Shows, opponents outside of AEW & bringing the belt everywhere

Originally his contract with WWE was suppose to end in September 2018 but WWE added more months due to his injury which coincidently 3 weeks before Double or Nothing that's literally in Las Vegas where he currently resides

Tony Khan & Cody came to his house laying out the details of AEW (TNT/Booking) and was onboard for the ride

Currently has no deal with Japan, he originally had a deal set in place from June till WrestleKingdom (Original Plan for WK beat up Juice, young boy from the New Japan Dojo, out comes Karl Anderson stun guns Moxley) & was for that specific run. The situation now is a verbal deal they know he can't work Wednesdays due to Dynamite but when he is available in terms of scheduling he'll be down to wrestle in Japan

Actually wanted to do some work for New Japan, Rocky Romero called him up and was onboard

As talks progressed with New Japan, Rocky suggested "how about G-1? that would be sick", initially wasn't gonna do it, as the conversation ended 10 minutes later was down to do it

Prior to G-1 he wasn't in the best shape after he left WWE (only been wrestling 6-man tag team matches or 4minute matches), knowing that he'll be wrestling 20-30mins matches in Japan he called Gil Guardado (Strength & Conditioning Coach from Xtreme Couture) in preparation for the G-1 tournament he was put on a full Pro-MMA Fight Camp schedule 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day which later become beneficial when he wrestled Tomohiro Ishii

Last few months of WWE when it was public knowledge he was gonna leave, he was waiting for something bad to happen like a burial but that never happened and WWE gave him a sending off

Was initially worried if fans were gonna cheer or boo because of being in WWE for a long time

Has so much gratitude for the people that chanted MOX on that night of Double or Nothing

New Japan's vignette of Moxley was a stunt double, name death-rider came from the jacket that was found from goodwill

Covid/Renee Situation - apparently someone from Orlando had Covid, everyone got tested, came back negative, She flew back home, after 5-6 days se wasn't feeling the very best, couldn't get out of bed, eventually got the test, had people come over to their house to get the test via Insurance (Ready Responders), already pulled out of Dynamite taping in advance if anything happens, 36 hours later about 11pm-12am as they were about to go to bed, they received an email (Mox was negative & Renee positive), during the quarantine Mox slept on the couch during the time while she recovered and was fine afterwards

Moxley: "They've got a kajilion dollars and they couldn't afford a couple of tests?"

Had to pull out from another taping (Fyter Fest) due to the positive result from Renee but Taz made him feel better with the Sloppy Shop Line

His AEW Champion run feels meaningful from breaking out of the prison to the winning the championship, His WWE Championship run felt like an 'Emergency Situation' (Roman Reigns Wellness Policy), they needed someone to carry the company during the summertime mainevent Sumo Hall & MSG but felt hollow

While WWE champion he didn't get a new T-Shirt, was talking to the merchandise people, they were re-making shirts with different colours, "Why isn't there any new T-shirts?" says Mox, merchandise people reply "Dude we've sent 25 different designs to Hunter and he just keeps rejecting them all", "I'm freaking WWE champion give me a fucking t-shirt!"

Still hates scripted promos (the one thing he hated during his time in WWE, having writers write stuff for him), a runsheet/format for AEW would be 'Jon Moxley Promo 2 Minutes' not 48 pages

Moxley: Nothing is gonna change until one person is gone (VKM), has watched some of WWE during the pandemic and is kind of relieved he isn't still there "could you have imagine if it would be any good?"

Moxley thinks the thunderdome looked like zoom call and reminded him something from a particular part from the book 'Fahrenheit 451'

Moxley "I want WWE to be awesome but when they suck it pisses me off, they're the number 1 brand of wrestling to watch, they represent the sport and when there product is embarrassing to watch it makes all wrestling look bad, driving away fans from the sport that could be WWE/AEW fans"

First three opponents were random Hager (done in two hours), Brodie came out of no-where (originally was to have an opponent for Double or Nothing - wasn't disclosed who) and Brian Cage

Meltzer/Moxley agreed that Stadium Stampede was awesome, super entertaining and fun during a time when people were feeling miserable in a pandemic this was need to cheer people up

Meltzer/Garret talk NXT unopposed show's ratings, why didn't the female demographic increase while the male demographic increased? Moxley replies two words Jungle Boy

Moxley asks for Dave's opinion with the current situation WWE's ratings going down "If things don't change (VKM/booking/stories) is it possible AEW could overtake WWE as the most watched show in five years?" Dave believes short term AEW could beat Smackdown's 18-49 demographics (but not viewers) if they moved to Friday and prove to be more valuable to FOX, If WWE continue to go down this same route, the numbers will decrease whilst AEW's will increase, WWE will have to make changes quicker inside of five years

#jon moxley #renee young #aew #all elite wrestling #aew dynamite #wwe #jungle boy #Dave Meltzer

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godsofhumanity · 4 years ago

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LORE OLYMPUS S1 (WEB COMIC) | REVIEW

okay folks so your gal just finished LO season 1, thought i might just give my two cents about the whole shebang. spoilers below cut.

OVERVIEW: LO S1 pretty much just revolves around Persephone in a modern-day AU (kind of?? idk i’m still unclear about this) where she manages to convince Demeter to let her move to Olympus, where she lives with Artemis. Shit happens and she meets Hades, CEO of the Underworld (literally tbh) and they fall in love, but they both have lots of issues and obstacles that they must first get past before they can like, get together.

RATING: idk.. 5/10 ?? it’s not a favourite, and i wouldn’t read it twice.. but yeah. i really think reading it for yourself is a lot better than just going by other people’s opinions (which is what i did previously). it’s honestly, quite a quick read.

AVAILABLE ON: webtoon

THINGS I LIKED:

> the author’s artistic choice to keep all the characters related to a single colour scheme. visually speaking, this is very appealing and helps the reader differentiate between characters considering they all the freaking same.

> exploration of other myths on the sidelines of the main story. i particularly liked the twist on the eros-psyche myth where aphrodite actually calms down and decides to test how much eros really loves psyche, because she doesn’t want her son’s heart broken again.

> aphrodite’s whole family in general. ares, eros, aphrodite and the little kids are so fucking cute... i’m not a fan of aphrodite in most interpretations but i actually like her in LO. she’s questionable at the start but she gets better i think.

> zeus, poseidon and hades having “compulsory” family brunch where it’s just “bonding time” with the bros. i thought that was pretty funny.

> HERA!!! during *that scene* (y’all know the one) when Hera could sense that someone was in pain, that they were in distress but she wasn’t sure who... aghhhhhh like a mother concerned for her child...

> also hera teaching Hebe that it’s wrong to snoop around... Hebe.. so cute

> helios having a chain around his neck. don’t get me wrong, i HATE that he’s being used for labour, like a punishment, he deserves so much better!! BUT, i like that the consequences of war are actually shown,, and that the olympians aren’t as hot as they think themselves to be, like everyone pretty much hates them.

> pomegranate soda or whatever it was.. clever

> i like Minthe as a character. it seems to be that she genuinely wants to be better, and that she does in fact like Hades, but she is really struggling with her emotional state, and i hope she gets help. soon. i said before that i thought hades x minthe would be better than hades x persephone, but now i realise that actually no, that’d be very toxic.. but i am wondering about minthe x thanatos because it seems to me they are actually pretty good to each other (EXHIBIT A: thanatos bringing minthe food when she was an emotional wreck and wouldn’t leave her apartment after hades broke up with her).

> fave characters so far: hera, poseidon, ares, eros, aphrodite, hermes, thanatos, hades, helios, and controverisal but... zeus (idk.. i’m still deciding)

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE

> alright let’s talk about hades-persephone’s relationship. first of all, i think that even in a “modern au”, if Persephone had been like 2000, and Hades had been like 4000, that at least would have made sense because like, they’re gods, so comparatively that would’ve been alright. BUT, Persephone is NINETEEN (19). not converting from goddess-to-human years.. i mean she has actually been alive for 19 fucking years. she is not just a child compared to Hades, she is a fucking BABY!!!!!! she’s a newborn!!!! and Persephone’s “youthfulness” is clearly demonstrated in her immaturity (which is natural because she’s a fucking teenager) AND her lack of awareness about the real world.. she has no experience (don’t get me wrong, this isn’t exactly her fault)

[EG] persephone trying to give the poor souls on the beach money so that they can get a ride with charon, and then a riot starting because that was a stupid decision and she doesn’t know any better...

> Hades, on the other hand, is like a grown-ass man who is running a company and managing the souls of the underworld, etc, etc. Hades thought it was OKAY to pull out the eye of a news reporter because he slandered Persephone (an eye for an eye is a pretty archaic principle, which makes since because, oh yeah, Hades IS archaic!).Hades has soooo many years of experience more than Persephone. he literally fought in the olympian-titan war!! Hades treats Persephone well, for sure... but honestly?? she is just too young... and the weirdest thing about it?? most of the characters in the story ALSO AGREE THAT SHE IS A CHILD!!!!!!

> related to the above^^, Hecate literally, when she first hears about hades-persephone from the newspaper, SCOLDS hades, and tells him that she is wayyy too young for him.. but then literally the next chapter comes, and she’s suddenly okay with it?? she’s like shipping it too???????? HELLO???? make up your mind hecate.

> Persephone The Naked Butterfly scene where she fucking falls on top of Hades, naked....... how necessary was that?

> let’s not even talk about ap*llo in this comic.. that was fucking disgusting, and that’s all i’m gonna say about that.

> zeus setting demeter’s crops on fire because she was sick of having to cover for zeus’ affairs and finally put her foot down. you go, girl! but zeus.. that definitely did make me dislike him a little..

> thetis... HATE HATE HATE HATE her!!!!!!! ughhhhhhhhhh

> why does daphne have like.. a crush on ap*llo??? shouldn’t she hate him?

> Persephone The Mass Murderer scene.......... i do NOT understand at all how some mortals digging up flowers = the death of a nymph. if this was the case, then there shouldn’t really be ANY nymphs left.. i mean so many people dig up flowers... also, idk about y’all but i’m certain that in a chapter Persephone was seen to be making flower crowns for Cerberus.. does that not require the flower to be yanked from the ground??? hello??? i feel like the author knew that she wanted Persephone to do something tragic and dangerous in order to win the name Persephone, but wasn’t sure exactly what so she just quickly put this together, because the logic is fairly lax in my opinion.

#i will read S2 (maybe) when the full thing comes out.#lore olympus #lore olympus discourse #review

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omgrachwrites · 5 years ago

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Tell a Tale of You and Me - Chapter Five

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: You knew that making a bet with Sirius Black was like making a deal with the devil but you just couldn’t help yourself. You had never been a heavenly woman.

Warnings: fluff, soft angst, denial of feelings, pining

Words: 2189

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this part! Also, I’ve literally just realised that I’ve passed 300 followers so thank you guys so so much! Let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all xxx

Chapter Five

You rolled your eyes at Lily with a lazy smirk as the both of you waited for the boys to stop stuffing their faces in The Great Hall. Right about now they would most likely be stuffing their pockets full of snacks to have in Transfiguration that afternoon, they’d probably get detention for eating their snacks. Again. Finally, the boys came traipsing out of The Great Hall as if they had all the time in the world. Sirius was scoffing a vanilla cupcake.

“Bloody finally guys,” you giggled as you and your friends walked down the crowded corridors, “Merlin, how many snacks have you got in there?” you asked, gesturing at their bulging robes.

“Want one Y/N?” Sirius asked innocently around a mouthful of cake, you smirked at him before gathering up some vanilla buttercream on your finger before sucking it off, keeping your eyes on Sirius the whole time. He watched, his cheeks deepening to a bright red flush and he made a funny strangled noise in the back of his throat.

Giggling, you punched him in the arm and hung back, fully intending on speaking to Lily. However, before you could get a word out you found yourself face to face with a group of Slytherin girls who were all staring at you.

“Good morning ladies,” Sirius smirked as he walked past them while Remus looked back with a faint blush on his scarred face.

“Run along, Evans, we need to talk to Y/L/N alone,” the tallest one sneered.

Lily looked at you, chewing her lip, she had a worried expression on her face, “I’ll be fine Lil, really can you just tell McGonagall that I’m hung up?” you asked with a brave smile, though you really did feel nervous. Lily nodded before reluctantly walking down the corridor.

You turned back to the Slytherins, your hand gripping the wand in your pocket in case you needed it. You noticed that all of the girls were very pretty. Though, one girl was at the back of the group, she looked very bored to be here.

“You think you’re pretty smart don’t you Y/L/N?” the tallest one snarled again, she was presumably the leader, “you’ve ruined our last year at Hogwarts.”

“Excuse me?” you laughed as you tightened your grip on your wand, “I honestly have got no idea what you’re going on about.”

“This stupid bet that you’ve got going on with Sirius is what we’re on about,” another girl piped up, her brown eyes flashing menacingly, “you want him all to yourself don’t you?”

You seriously couldn’t believe that you were having this conversation right now, if you weren’t so confused it would actually be really amusing, “oh no, you see,” you giggled, “you’ve got the wrong end of the stick entirely. This whole bet thing is just a bit of fun,” and it was but you knew that Sirius was stubborn and he couldn’t resist a challenge.

“Still, I tried to come onto him the other day and he rejected me, he’s never done that before,” the leader said with a note of hurt in her voice, “there’s only one reason why he would do that and it’s not because of some stupid bet. He’s in love with you, haven’t you seen the way he looks at you when he thinks that no one else sees?”

That had to be the funniest thing that you’d heard all year. Surely you would know if one of your best friends was in love with you, wouldn’t you? You sighed as you rolled your eyes, you shouldn’t have had to explain yourself but you did anyway.

“Sirius is not in love with me, I don’t even know if he can love anybody, we’re just friends. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to class,” you shook your head, feeling completely bewildered at the conversation.

“You’d better watch your back Y/L/N, especially at the Quidditch match tomorrow,” one of them called after you.

Thankfully, you arrived at Transfiguration only a couple of minutes late, McGonagall looked at you sternly, her thin lips were pursed but she didn’t say anything. Sirius smirked at you as you sat down next to Lily. McGonagall announced that they were going to be starting human transfiguration, beginning with changing their hair colour. The class murmured with great interest as McGonagall taught them the incantation and the correct wand movement.

Your spirits were not dampened despite the fact that you – and the rest of the class – were only able to change the length of your hair, rather than the colour. You giggled as Lily’s hair was now a pixie cut, “hey, that really suits you.”

“Thanks Rapunzel,” she grinned at you. Your hair now reached the floor, you didn’t know what to do with so much hair but you kind of liked it.

Just as you were about to get to work on changing your hair back to its original state, you heard a couple of girlish giggles a few desks over from you. You gazed over to the other side of the classroom to see what all the commotion was about and your breath got stuck in your throat. Sirius was cockily smirking at his reflection in the hand mirror that he was holding and he was running his fingers through his hair. It was quite a lot shorter and it was more tousled than it usually was.

The surrounding gaggle of girls were all gazing at him adoringly, causing you to roll your eyes, he never missed a chance to show off. Almost as if he could feel your eyes on him, he turned to face you and winked, it was stupidly unfair how he looked even more handsome with the short fluffy hair he was currently sporting.

“Like what you see Y/N? Are you finally ready to admit that you fancy me?” he smirked, resting his hand on his chin as he stared at you.

“Mr Black,” McGonagall began in a warning voice.

You ignored McGonagall, scoffing at Sirius’ words, “pur-lease, me have a crush on you? No way.”

At your words, the group of girls gasped, Remus and Peter snorted while James just looked uncomfortable. Sirius laughed it off and if you hadn’t turned away you would have seen the pained look that flashed across his face. McGonagall sighed as she looked at you both, unbeknownst to you and Sirius; she had an ongoing bet with Slughorn on when you would finally get together. They’d first made the bet in your 5th year.

Later on that evening, you and Lily were sitting in front of the roaring common room fire as you told her about the Slytherin girl’s ambushing you.

“So, let me get this straight, they had a problem with you because they think that Sirius has a thing for you?” she recited and you nodded.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much the gist of it.”

Lily’s emerald eyes scanned your face, “well, maybe they have a point Y/N,” she held up her hands in mock defence as you glared at her, you couldn’t believe that she was taking their side, “just hear me out, okay? He’s been pouting all afternoon because of what you said in Transfiguration,” her voice lowered as the boys came to join you; she smiled as James kissed her.

Sirius sat in the armchair opposite you, it was true enough that he’d been in a mood all afternoon but it wasn’t your fault, not when he could have any girl he wanted.

“Lighten up Sirius, are you seriously in a mood because I told you that I don’t have a crush on you?” you wanted to make light of the situation, it would certainly make you feel better, “I thought your ego needed a bit of deflating,” you giggled.

“This has got nothing to do with my ego,” he muttered, staring into the fire, “but don’t worry, I’m just being silly,” he shot you a smile that didn’t quite reach those pretty eyes.

You sighed as guilt swirled around in your stomach.

-------------------------------------

The following day, the morning of the first Quidditch game, Sirius was walking down to breakfast on his own, he had woken up late to find that his friends had gone down to breakfast without him. He didn’t realise that he had fake friends. Sirius was so hungry; he was craving something with chocolate or an extremely sugary cereal.

On the way down to breakfast, he ran into something twice as sweet, Y/N. He felt a funny fluttering feeling in his stomach as she smiled at him prettily, though he blamed it on the fact that he was so hungry.

“Hi Y/N,” he grinned and noticed that she was carrying a covered tray, “how are you feeling?”

She grimaced, it didn’t look like she was feeling too good, “nervous, I’ve been up for hours,” she laughed weakly as she chewed on her lip, “these are for you by the way,” she blushed as she uncovered the tray to reveal the most delicious looking chocolate brownies that Sirius had ever seen, “I made them this morning to say thank you for helping me get onto the team.”

Sirius chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair as he took the tray from her, “you really didn’t need to do that but thank you so much,” he blushed, it was an incredibly sweet gesture, “and hey, you were an absolute pleasure to teach,” he smirked. She rolled her eyes but still leaned up to plant a kiss on his warm red cheek anyway.

At breakfast, Sirius helped Lily and Remus finish off the banner that they had created for the match; Remus had drawn a picture of a lion devouring a snake. Remus also stole Sirius’ brownies, pretending not to notice the way that Sirius was glaring at him.

“I’m not hungry James, please I know you mean well but can you stop it? It feels like I’m going to be sick,” Y/N mumbled with her head in her hands. James sighed sympathetically as he rubbed her back. Even though Sirius knew that Y/N couldn’t see him, he smiled at her. No matter what the score came out as, he knew that she would be great.

It seemed like all too soon for before they were walking down to the pitch, Y/N had a sickly tinge to her skin and she wasn’t talking to anybody. Sirius smiled at her before going to sit in the stands with the others, “don’t worry, Y/N. You’re gonna be so great, I know it,” she smiled weakly at him, giving him a quick hug before she followed James into the changing rooms.

“Oh, could you get any more obvious? It’s revolting,” Regulus smirked as he stalked past his older brother. Sirius scoffed, he didn’t know what Regulus was talking about because it was Regulus who had a schoolboy crush on Y/N. He pulled a tongue at the back of Regulus’ head before running to catch up with Remus, Lily and Peter.

The atmosphere was electric as the long awaited Quidditch players finally flew onto the pitch, there were far more cheers than boos. Everybody, well almost everybody wanted to see Gryffindor win the first match of the season, a win would give Sirius and his friends another reason to celebrate at the Halloween feast and Hogsmeade the following day.

Sirius couldn’t see Y/N properly but he could tell that she was smiling; he imagined that her eyes were alight with excitement. He knew that she was completely comfortable now she was up in the air. The game was very exciting, even to begin with, in the first few minutes James scored an amazing goal.

Lily was so happy as she screamed, “that’s my boyfriend!” Sirius just knew that she would be rewarding James for that later on.

Halfway through the game, the crowd gasped in shock as a Slytherin beater aimed a bludger at a Gryffindor chaser, causing him to drop the Quaffle. The Gryffindor’s nose exploded but he soldiered on, refusing to let James call time out. Y/N was certainly pulling out the impressive moves as she looped and swerved, in search of the snitch. Sirius hated to think it but Y/N had her work cut out for her, Regulus was also an excellent seeker.

The young man gasped his heart in his mouth as Regulus and Y/N very nearly collided in the air, he shouted out his admiration, feeling extremely proud when Y/N expertly swerved to avoid Regulus. It was a very close match, Slytherin was leading by fifty points, Sirius was silently praying for Y/N to catch the snitch soon.

After ten more extremely tense minutes, Y/N’s nimble fingers closed around the tiny struggling ball. Sirius whooped and cheered along with Remus and Peter when he realised that Gryffindor had won while Lily sobbed on his shoulder. He looked up and grinned when he saw James and Y/N celebrating with their team, Y/N looked so young and beautiful as she hugged James. Sirius knew that she would always stay that way, for as long as she lived.

-------------------------------------

@approved-by-dentists @thefuturelawyer @a-miserable-hufflepunk @firelordmillie @seriouslysiriuss @sleep-i-ness @play-morezeppelin @pregnant-piggy @sleepingalaska @smiithys @blisfvll @rexorangecouny

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

Text

Gimme Love, 2/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Heyo, yall! Just hope yall are enjoying this fic so far. I worked really hard on it, but so proud. So many times I just wanted to quit it. But I stuck it out!

Major TW for this chapter: Child abuse mentions // mental breakdown // Anxiety // Dementia mentions

2020

I flinched, feeling a hand lightly slap my foot twice. "Wake up, Princess."

I rolled over slightly, blinking as if to clear my vision. Jujubee looked as if she had been awake for hours, looking fresh as fuck in her dressing gown. She must have had a shower hours before because, despite the dry hair, I could smell the mango and papaya soap. Fuck, it smelt so good.

Then there was me; hair wrecked, makeup long expired, body smelling of that typical hangover smell. Like a hospital, except unclean.

I whined like a child, rolled back over on my stomach and buried my face hoping it would stop my head from pounding.

"Nope. Not happened." Jujubee sat down on the bed and shook me.

"What time is it?" I asked with my face still smushed into the pillow.

"It's 2PM." She answered.

That's what got me up. I threw the covers back and went to stand. "Fuck!"

Jujubee grabbed my hand and pulled me back down. "Relax. It's our day off, remember?"

I whined even more, curling up with my head in her lap.

"Not that it makes a difference considering you're always late anyway," Jujubee added as she stroked my unbrushed hair.

"Shut up. I'm the boss. I can do what I want." I mumbled.

"Ah, Brianna Caldwell, you never change." Jujubee quipped. "Only follows the rules whenever it suits her, bosses everyone around - -"

"I do not, you whore. And can you please not speak to me so loud right now?" I pulled myself up and tousled my hair. "I need some shades or something."

I always needed shades when I was hungover, so Jujubee was already prepared. She pulled them from her pocket and handed them over. "Shade up, baby girl."

Life was already so much better with them on.

"But back to the topic at hand, though. Don't you remember the chess boys from high school?" Jujubee spoke a bit quieter now. "You literally bossed them around."

"They let me boss them around 'cause they wanted to sleep with me, Jujubee," I replied, reaching for my phone.

"And, you bossed me around too." Jujubee raised her brows.

"Mmmm, I don't remember that." I hummed, feeling pretty much over the conversation.

It took Jujubee an hour to convince me to get out of bed and clean myself up. After finally getting showered and dressed, we were out of the apartment and already heading to Starbucks.

I could have made my own coffee, but that required effort. And that I wasn't willing to give that day.

We were sitting at a booth in the back, with minimal effort in trying to go incognito. But this was a regular hang out for us. There was no need to worry about our names being shouted out. The baristas eventually learned to just bring our orders to us. It made Jujubee feel bad, but I didn't mind.

The barista, Kyle, came over and put our drinks down on the table.

"I deserve this. I really, really deserve this." I said, already taking a sip of my coffee.

"Congrats on last night. The boss said if you both need a refill, just let me know." Kyle winked. God bless Kyle. "So, When's the launch day?"

"Kyle, as charming as you are, you'll just have to wait like everybody else." I tried my best to beam a smile.

"Alright. Enjoy, ladies." And Kyle walked away.

Jujubee let her eyes follow for a moment longer. I know she was literally staring at nothing in particular, but I decided to have a bit of fun. "Go ask him out, Juju."

"Girl, you ask him out," Jujubee smirked. "I'm happy enough being a crazy cat lady. I don't need no man."

I knew it was a joke. Jujubee wasn't the type to encourage me to find someone. It was like she knew how it could bother me.

Despite liking the single life, I kind of did like the sound of being with someone. Maybe it was the fear of the past that stopped me from pursuing a relationship. I had a few girlfriends in the past. But they hadn't lasted long. I was afraid they would have somehow found out about my past self. Because, once upon a time, nobody would've even dared think of me as an attractive, promiscuous, alluring, single female.

But now that I had the glow-up of the century, dyed my hair blonde, I had quite a lot of admirers. It only really started to occur when NASA began sponsoring the project, bringing more traction.

My phone started ringing, but I paid no heed.

Jujubee, however, almost dropped her drink.

"Girl, why is Ed Sheeran calling you?" Jujubee raised a brow.

And as soon as the name met my ears, I was reminded of the night before. "Oh, God." I held my head in my hands.

"What did you do?" Jujubee was already groaning.

"I fucked up," I answered.

"You didn't have a quicky with him or something, right?" Jujubee questioned further.

I lifted my head, looking at her with squinted eyes. "What? No. Ew. Juju." I sipped my coffee before bearing the news. "OK, so...I don't know why I did it, maybe 'cause I'm a mess when I'm drunk, but I…" I lowered my tone, "kinda offered him the chance to be the first person to go into the other world."

"What?? I thought we were gonna do that!" Jujubee was freaking out.

"I know. I fucked up."

"Well, call him back."

"And, tell him what? 'Sorry, Ed. Jk'?"

Jujubee's forehead was in her hands, "I was really excited." She whined.

As I said before, this meant a lot to us. We hadn't discussed it with the team yet, but Jujubee and I had privately planned that we'd be first to enter the other world. So you could understand this was incredibly disappointing for her.

"OK. How about this? Ed will go in for 5 minutes. After that, we bring him back to Earth. And then we fly off by ourselves?" I suggested.

"I was looking forward to the pink sky. And the flying horses. And the…"

Jujubee went on a ramble as my phone began to ring again. I picked it up, letting it ring for a few seconds before declining Ed Sheeran's call.

I checked if there were any texts from him. Nada. But there was one message that caught my attention. The memory of reading it the previous night came flooding back.

Jujubee was still rambling, but I put my phone down and leaned across the table slightly. "Juju, do you remember Blair St Clair?"

Jujubee's expression changed instantaneously. "Girl, of course, I do. You were in love with her for years."

"Oh my God, can you whisper, please?" I questioned, the desperation in my voice very much apparent.

"Brianna, she's back in Ohio. We're in New York. I don't think anyone's gonna go and tell."

"You never know," I briefly looked behind me for fear that somehow the world decided to shit on my luck and make her appear in the booth behind me.

"Girl, chill out. And yes, I do remember her." Jujubee replied, "you know something that always stuck with me? Please don't ask why, but I'll never forget the day you told me you were in love with her. You came out to me that day too."

-_-_-_-

1995

"Juju, I gotta tell you something," I said, throwing my doll to the side of the fort. If I didn't tell her the truth now, I never would.

"What is it?" Jujubee sounded scared.

I crossed my legs in a pretzel shape, straightened my back and declared, "Juju, I like girls. And Blair St Clair is the girl I'm in love with."

I was expecting amazement, awe, shock. But Jujubee just seemed confused.

"What? How is that possible?" She asked.

"You promise you can keep a secret?" I offered my pinky.

Jujubee joined hers with mine. "Of course I can."

"OK." Our fingers remained twisted around each other. "Well, I saw two ladies in the mall kissing. And my Mommy told me girls can like girls. And I had an a-piffa-tree. The reason I like Blair so much is because I'm in love with her!"

"Brie-Brie, you need to slow down." Jujubee put her hand up. "If girls can like girls, then how come we never see girls kissing girls? It's always boys and girls."

"I don't know."

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Nope."

"Then, how are you sure?"

"I don't know. You ever get that weird feeling inside that tells you that you're right? I can feel it. I know I'm not lying."

"Wooow." Jujubee looked away briefly. "Does that mean you like me?"

"I don't know. You're my friend, Juju." I shrugged. "I mean, maybe we should kiss just to figure it out."

Juju looked like she was contemplating this for a moment before nodding her head and sitting up. "OK!"

I didn't even hesitate. Instead, I moved closer and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Ew!" We both pulled away.

We both agreed to never do that again, nor ever speak of it.

As if nothing had happened, we continued on playing with our dolls for another hour before the rain came out.

I walked Jujubee home, feeling very much like 'the big girl' being all responsible.

And in walking back to my own place, wrapping my arms around myself, I saw Blair - walking alone, drenched from head to toe.

"Blair!" I ran towards her.

She turned to look at me, her face scrunched up, trying to see through the downpour.

Call it instinct, but I knew something was up, just from how she was looking at me. I put my hands on her shoulders. "What's wrong?? Are you OK?"

"I'm lost. I-I'm trying to find my way home." She said quietly.

"What. How did you - -" I stopped myself from talking any further. Instead, I took Blair by the hand and pulled her towards the bus shelter off to the side of the road.

We both sat down when we got inside. She was shaking, close to catching a cold in the awful weather. Not to mention she had no jacket on. So I pulled my arm out of its sleeve and draped half of the coat over her.

"What happened to your coat?" I asked

"I didn't bring it." She replied.

"Why not? It's cold. You're going to get sick."

"I'm sorry. I just...ran."

I was silent for a moment. Then, "What do you mean?"

She was also silent for a moment, her blue eyes drifting to the ground. "Brianna...is it normal for Daddies to shout real loud all the time? Do they smash things a lot?"

No. It was not expected. I may not have had a Father figure in my life, but I knew well enough. "Blair, what happened?"

Blair clenched her fist around the jacket. "My Daddy...he…"

Despite her timid voice trailing off, I understood. She didn't even need to say it. "Do you have somewhere to go?"

She lifted her eyes to me, "I need to get home. I just ran as fast as I could. And somehow ended up here. I don't know my way back."

"I don't think you should go back," I admitted.

"I have to. Or he'll be even more mad."

I was wracking my brain. There was no way I could let her go back. "OK. Is there somewhere you can stay for a while? Somewhere close?"

"No." Blair shook her head. "Wait. Yeah. My Granny lives somewhere around here." She looked at me with optimism in her eyes.

"That's great! I know this place like the back of my hand. I bet I can find it in a few seconds."

After sitting for 10 more minutes, the rain was starting to settle, so Blair gave me the address, and off we went. I carried her bag for her. She was probably exhausted from all the walking.

All the while, I just listened as she talked about many things - Madonna, her Princess Belle doll, how Jade from school actually picked her nose when no one was looking. So many different topics. And I didn't speak a word. I guess I was just so...astonished. Here I was, walking along in a light rainstorm, hanging out with the prettiest girl in my class. How was this possible? Was this real life?

"You've been really quiet." Blair pointed out.

"Yeah, I just can't believe you're talking to me. What the fuck?" Yes, I said that.

Blair laughed at my potty mouth. "Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

I shrugged. "Well, I don't know. Maybe 'cause no one likes me."

Blair stopped in her tracks for a moment. "I like you."

I stopped, spun around, and looked at her with wide eyes. There was no way I heard her say those words. No fucking way.

"Come on. I know where we are now. Granny's house is around the corner." Blair began to move again.

But the butterflies in my stomach were going wild. I felt warm and wanted to just hug her. But I also didn't want to alarm her. Baby steps, Brianna.

I walked Blair to the house. Her Granny came to the door and was obviously quite confused. And Blair began to cry again.

I wanted to turn and run, feeling very out of place. But Blair grabbed me before I could leave and pulled me into a hug. She pressed her tear-stained face against my shoulder and whispered, "Thank you, Brie."

"I gotta go."

I pulled out of the hug and ran as fast I could. I don't know if I left her standing there confused or if she just knew by then it was just a me thing to be awkward.

But my mind was racing; Blair liked me. I knew not in the same way as I liked her. But, surely, that meant we could be friends.

Oh, how naive I was.

A few weeks later, it was the beginning of Summer. Mom took me to the park, and there was Blair with her friends.

I ran across the grass to the picnic blanket they were all sitting at.

"Blair!" I called excitedly. I practically threw myself down next to her, giving her a tight hug.

"Ew." Jade laughed.

"Shut up, Jade." Blair snapped.

"Are you friends with the freak now or something?" Carmen questioned, inching away from me.

"I'm not a freak!" I shouted.

"Uh, yeah, you are," Serena added. "We don't want freaks in our friend group. Go on. Get lost."

"Girls - -" Blair tried.

"You wanna join her?" Jade pointed her gaze at Blair, her face scrunched up in disgust.

I was waiting for it; The big 'fuck you' as Blair stood up, took my hand and walked away.

But she remained seated. Her eyes trailed down to the ground. I tried shaking her shoulder.

"Blair?" I spoke quietly.

She didn't say a word. It was as if she had turned to stone.

My body felt cold.

"See? She doesn't like ugly people like you. No one does." Jade smirked.

I remember the moment being more intense than it actually was. Because in a matter of seconds, the girls were screaming as I began to punch Jade in her bitchy face. I couldn't punch for shit. But if it left a bruise, I was happy.

"Brianna!" I heard my Mom's voice. Her dark arms wrapped around me, pulling me away from the now crying Jade. "We are going home right now." Mom threatened. But I didn't care.

From being dragged away from the fight scene all the way until we got home, I screamed.

Mom screamed back for a while when we were in the car. But you can't fight fire with fire. So she stopped when we pulled up.

I got in, I beat the fuck out of every object that came into my line of vision. And my shouting never stopped.

"No one wants you, ugly freak!" I smashed a vase. "Worthless piece of trash!"

Mom had been chasing me all over the house, trying to calm me down. But this wasn't like any tantrum I had ever had, and as Mom had no idea what was actually going on, she had no idea what to do.

She eventually scooped me up in her arms and held me tight as she sat on the ground. I screamed as I tried to fight off her grasp, downing out all her hushed whispers. "I got you, Baby. I got you. Mommy's here."

My screams did go on for another while, but as soon as they ended, all I could say to Mom was, "I should give up. Blair will never be my friend. I'm too ugly."

Mom stood me up, so she knew I was looking directly into her eyes. She pointed a finger in my face and spoke with a cracked but stern tone. "Don't say that. Never ever say that. You are so beautiful, and no one has the right to tell you that you're not. I want you to go look in the mirror, really, really look at yourself, Brianna. And I want you to see how pretty you are. Look at your hair, your brown eyes, your freckles. You are just as pretty as everyone else, girl. You are not ugly."

I squeezed my fists, feeling the hard lump in my throat. "Then why did my Mommy and Daddy give me away?"

Mom was stunned for a moment. She took my hand. "Baby, that had nothing to do with how you look. They…" she paused, trying to find the right words to use, "they just…" another pause, "look, I'll tell you when you're older. But I promise you are not ugly."

I couldn't hold on anymore. I let out a pained cry and immediately threw myself into her arms and buried my face in her shoulder.

-_-_-_-

2020

That was my first major emotional breakdown, marking the beginning of many more to come. But, unfortunately, Mom didn't want to immediately get me help. She had a feeling it would upset me further. And she was right.

Just as I had begun middle school, I had another huge episode. That was it. There had been too many episodes throughout those years.

You can try covering a crack in the wall with a pretty picture, but the problem would never go away, would it?

I couldn't stand therapy. Why was I the one to work on my emotions when I only felt the way I did because kids were assholes? Where were all the breathing exercises and meditation sessions to make them not be dicks?

But as much as I hated it, the older I got, I opened my eyes. What I hated the most was seeing the pain I was putting Mom through. So I really tried hard not to freak out.

I didn't want to upset Mom anymore. She really did her best. And to this day, I wouldn't change her for the world.

"We're here."

I was brought out of my thoughts as the cab pulled over. I had been so gone, just sitting in the backseat, staring at the magenta glass vase in my hands.

"Keep the change," I replied, handing the driver the money and thanking him as I got out.

He took my suitcase from the trunk and left it by my side. And with a goodbye, he drove off.

Standing at the bottom of the lawn, I looked at the house. Fuck, once upon a time, I wouldn't have been so in love with its appearance. I had no idea what my Mom was going for with the multiple colours. The outside was painted pastel yellow with a sky blue door and pink frame. Then there were the various flowerpots stuck onto the wall next to the door. All different colours; pink, green, orange or blue.

OK, I lied; as a kid, I fucking loved our house. Everyone else's was boring. But when high school rolled around, people would whisper how I was "the weird hippie chick from the rainbow crack house". So, you can understand why it quickly became an eyesore for me.

I knocked on the front door, feeling the excitement bubble within me. I had been so busy with the project, it was a few months since I last saw her in person. I glanced at the vase in my hand, the perfect Birthday gift. It was perfect because I got her a new one every year. Because I never got over the guilt from smashing her favourite vase as a child. This act was to make a point - to show that no matter how much I apologised, I was always sorry, and would always be.

I knocked again. There was only a barking behind the door. Good to know someone was in.

I still had my own key. No point in standing outside all day. I made my own way in, knowing I could just surprise her later.

"Hi, baby!" I spoke in a hushed tone as Piggie started to jump around excitedly. Fuck, I missed him so much.

I closed the door and knelt down next to the pug, bringing him into a hug and kissing him on the head. "You good boy," I said in between kisses, "Let's get you some food."

Standing back up, I made my way to the kitchen, and Piggie was only happy to follow. I still remembered where his food was kept, so I poured him a bowl. Then, while he was distracted, I took my suitcase up the stairs and into my old bedroom.

Fuck, there was always something so surreal about walking into it. I hadn't lived at home since before I went to college. From that moment on, Jujubee and I always had our own places. And now, I had my apartment in New York.

Meaning, the last time I had redecorated was years before my glow up (in personality and looks). The walls were pink, I remember them being a pretty pastel tone, but they looked duller now. Above my bed, the wall was littered with posters, writing and photos. I made eye contact with Reese Witherspoon on the Legally Blonde poster, remembering how I always wanted to be like her. Funny how I kind of did achieve that.

I realised I was just standing in the doorway, just staring. So, I sat the suitcase against my desk and went to lie down. I smirked as I found all 5'5" of my whole being still fit into it.

I took out my phone and snapped a picture of myself to Jujubee, the caption reading 'Hey, babe, my parents are out?￰ 😉😉 come over?'.

While waiting for her reply, I changed my pencil skirt and blouse, choosing to wear leggings and a tank instead. Suddenly, I felt 10 years younger.

An hour passed, and Mom was still nowhere to be seen.

"Maybe she's at work. Does she have a job?" Jujubee asked me through the phone.

"I... don't know, Juju," I murmured, my attention not really on the question but on the contents of the fridge.

There was a punnet of strawberries. I helped myself to a few.

"When was the last time you spoke to her? Seriously, Brie, I'm getting so nervous." Jujubee sounded concerned. I knew her mind was thinking of the worst. And oddly enough, I found it to be entertaining.

"A few months back, actually," I smirked. "She's been real quiet, to be honest." Piggie was at my feet, looking for one of the juicy strawberries. I shook my head at him.

"Oh God, no. Did you check every room? Talk to the neighbours?"

"Oh, fuck! Juju. My God, there's a head in the fridge!" I feigned terror.

"Brianna!"

"Relax. I'm fucking with you. I spoke to her last night." I took one more strawberry. Biting into it, the juice dripped down my fingers and onto the ground. Piggie was beyond happy now, licking it up. I let him be and made my way out of the kitchen.

"That's not funny, Brianna. Don't joke about that. I thought she was missing or...worse."

"Fair enough. Sorry, girl. Anyway, how's work today?" I walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

"Good, good. Ed Sheeran's team finally got in touch," Jujubee said with a hint of disdain.

I held my forehead in one hand, wanting to punch myself for even speaking to him the week before.

I groaned, "See, this is why I should stop drinking."

"Well, to be fair, you don't drink as much as you did back in college. But when you do, you go hard."

Jujubee continued talking, lecturing me about my life choices when I moved my foot and felt it touch something under the couch. It startled me at first, but I pulled out the item.

A slipper. Grandpa's slipper. Sitting back on the couch again, letting my eyes just stare at it. "Hey, Juju. I'm gonna go."

There was a sigh on the other end. "Fine. Not like I was talking about anything important or whatever."

"Sorry," I said quietly.

"Don't worry. I still love you, whore." She said.

"Of course you do."

I made a nasty kissing sound through the phone. She was grossed out, of course, and hung up. I chuckled for a moment and put my phone away.

Piggie came into the room and jumped up on the sofa next to me. I began to pet him, my eyes now back on the shoe.

Grandpa wore his slippers more than he wore regular shoes. Every time he found out Mom had put them in the wash, he would be furious. I would always listen to him ranting and wonder why men were gross. But I'd also laugh at how he threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

There was one time, in particular. He had gotten mad for the same reason. He huffed and came into the living room, sitting down on the couch, in the very seat I currently was sitting. He was shaking his head, just looking at the TV.

I shuffled closer to him and offered a few potato chips. His frown was immediately reversed. His smile had never seemed brighter. He took a few chips and asked with a full mouth, "Hey, kiddo. Aren't you late for school?"

It was 2PM. On a Saturday.

My smile was beginning to fade, my eyes still focused on the slipper. I could feel it - a familiar twisting feeling from somewhere within my stomach, the oxygen in my lungs seeming to fail me, a tremble taking my hands over.

And then, Piggie licking my arm.

I flinched slightly as I was brought back to the present. I smiled, petting Piggie. "Where would I be without you, baby?"

Piggie didn't answer, of course. Instead, he just licked my hand, which was enough for me to chill out.

I put Grandpa's shoe back under the couch, now inspired to search more of the house. But before I got off the couch, I checked my phone. Jujubee had Snapchatted me.

Clicking into it, I froze for a moment. She was in her bathroom, the shower running behind her. I wanted to say she was the main element to the picture, cocking her head to the side, pouting her lips and raising a brow. Despite the fact Jujubee never sent me pictures like this, it wasn't the first time I had seen her in her lingerie, though. But, I couldn't help but glance at her black lacey bra. The breath was caught in my throat for a moment.

The text read, 'You OK, babe?'

Around middle school, Jujubee developed this 6th sense, knowing when something was up with me. It was impressive.

I lifted my phone up high, took a picture and made sure to get Piggie in the frame. He wasn't looking, however.

"Piggie." He was looking now. I smiled and took the picture. I captioned it, 'Just hanging out with this one'.

I hit send. And now filled with inspiration to go on a nostalgia trip, I got up from the sofa and went off to explore. I called Piggie to follow.

I found myself upstairs, standing in the doorway of Mom's room. It felt rude to intrude. After all, a bedroom wasn't just a bedroom. It was a sanctuary, a place to be yourself, to carry out your own private rituals free from judgement, a happy place. So it felt like an intrusion to invade her space.

But I spotted the perfume bottles on her dresser. There was one bottle, in particular, a fragrance she always bought. It was her favourite - a musky scent with a hint of amber vanilla.

I couldn't resist. I made my way to the dresser, lifted the bottle and smelt the underside of the lid. Immediately, I felt my body relax. It smelled just like her. And there was no smell sweeter than the smell of your own Mother. It felt safe, loving, warm. Now, I was even more excited to see her again.

That was as far as I'd go into her room. So I put the perfume back, ushered Piggie to get down from her bed and left.

I was back in my old bedroom. I wanted this nostalgia trip to be unlike any other. So I knew exactly where I'd find it. I looked in the drawers of my desk. And in the very bottom drawer, I found it; my old diary.

"This is going to be wild, Piggie. I just know it." I smirked, sitting down on my bed, my back against the headboard. Piggie curled up beside me. We were both sitting comfortably. So I began.

'Dear Dairy'

Already, I had to pause and laugh. 7 year old me would have been a legend in a spelling bee.

'Today, I had a fight with Jujubee. She really upset me, but I upset her too. I should say sorry. That's all. Bye.'

Short and sweet, child me didn't beat around the bush. She just gave you the information you needed. That was it.

I flicked a few pages forward.

'Dear Diary,

I had another fight with Jujubee. I really don't want to upset her. But sometimes I get so angry, I don't know what to do. I lost a tooth today too. So I am going to leave a note to the tooth fairy. I want her to take all my anger from me instead of my tooth. I hope it works.'

I remembered that. I had gotten mad because we were playing house. I wanted Jujubee to be both the parents, and I'd be the two kids. She didn't want to. She wanted to play the part of a child too. I freaked out, of course. I specifically remembered telling her she'd do it if she cared about me. She said she did care. But in the heat of the moment, I didn't believe her.

"God, I was such a brat," I spoke quietly.

I skipped some pages, unsure of what I was to find. And seeing one specific name, I stopped flicking through.

'Dear Blair,

You are like the sunshine. You are…'

I stopped reading, cringing at my child self. Was this before I realised it was a crush or not? What was hilarious about this entry was how damn long it was. All other accounts were short and straight to the point. But this? It went on for 3 pages. I bet my younger self felt mega proud about writing so much. But now, I felt the need to build a fucking time machine, go back to that moment and tell little Brianna, "Guess what? Nothing happens. Blair never becomes your friend. She never feels the same way about you the way you feel about her, so stop before you make it worse for yourself!"

I decided I was taking this diary back to New York. I needed to investigate it more. And there were probably some accounts that Jujubee would cackle laughing at.

My nostalgia trip wasn't at its peak just yet. I needed something that would just send me over the edge of happiness. And I knew I'd probably find that in my memory box. But there was a problem. I had given it to my Mom, asking her to hide it away somewhere. And whenever I wanted to put something into it, I'd give it to her, and she'd hide it for me.

And I made her promise to only give it back to me when I turned 50. No matter how much I cried and begged, she could not break that promise. Young me knew one day I'd be on a one way trip down memory lane.

I was so tempted to find the box. Surely, it couldn't have been too hard to find. But Piggie growled for a moment, his ears perking up. He looked at the window and started barking. I was now aware of the sound of a car's engine. A familiar one at that.

Finally, Mom was home.

I peaked out the window to see she was grabbing her bag from the car.

Piggie and I raced down the stairs, taking the vase from the living room and waiting excitedly at the door.

Funny how with excitement there came a level of anxiety, the tiniest hint of fear bubbling in your stomach. And I felt it all as soon as I heard the jiggling of the key.

The door opened slowly as if she already knew something was unusual about the place like she was bracing herself for whatever she was going to find.

She peeked around the door. My smile was beaming.

"Happy Birthday!" I shouted.

"Jesus Christ!" Mom flinched, almost falling back and stamping on the ground. Piggie was going wild now, barking from all the excitement. "Brianna, you could have given me a heart attack!" She shut the door and clasped a hand to her chest.

I laughed at her over-the-top reaction and held out the vase. "I got you another one."

Mom looked at me, still panting from her shock. She was silent for a moment, and in that silence, I realised how much I had missed her.

Mom stepped forward, took the vase and put it to the side. As she pulled me into a tight hug, I could see her face scrunching up.

There are two people of people; those who can't stand seeing their Moms cry. And fucking liars.

Of course, I belonged to the first group. As you know, I…

Well, you already know. Here, let me put in a fun diagram of things I didn't want to deal with at that moment.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, you bitch." Mom spoke softly in my ear as she cried.

"I couldn't help myself." I forced a smile.

As much as I hated seeing her cry, I knew she needed it. Me being the only child she ever had, it broke her heart when I moved out in the first place. I'd imagine it was tough now that she was alone.

Yeah, she had Piggie. But it obviously wasn't enough. So I let her cry it out as she hugged me. I could smell the perfume, and again, I felt that safety, the security a Mother's love brings.

When she pulled away, she immediately moved to the kitchen, already brewing some tea. I let her know that I didn't mind if she had to go upstairs and change or anything. But she insisted we get into the catch-up.

"I invited some people from work to come over later. You remember the flower shop beside the old church?" Mom rambled, her shaking hands pouring the tea into two mugs.

"Of course I do," I answered, sitting at the table, with Piggie in my lap.

"Yeah, I work there now." Mom replied.

I felt bad. This shouldn't have been news. It was my part to already know that.

Mom sat at the table, placing the mugs down too. Piggie's attention was drawn to them, licking his lips with thirst.

"So I hope you're not jet-lagged, girl." The excitement was practically radiating from her face.

I was a bit exhausted, but she deserved to have a great night. "I'm good. Don't worry."

"Oh, and your aunt is coming." She added, sipping her tea.

"Aunt Monét! Yes, bitch."

It had been a very, very long time since I last saw Monét. She knew how to turn a party. And she was always so glamorous. I remember numerous times as a child asking her to teach me her ways, be my mentor, so I could grow up to look as good as she did.

"So, it's gonna be a long night. Be prepared." Mom said.

"So, it's a party?"

"Not my plan, but knowing Monét, that's how it will turn out. Anyway, I saw pictures from the event last week. You looked great up on that stage, baby. Keep doing me proud."

I gave her a gracious smile as I sipped my tea. A small drop fell onto my lap. Piggie was searching for it, but it had already soaked in. Sorry, Piggie.

"Yeah, I kinda fucked up, though," I said, playing with one of the dog's ears.

"'Fuck’ always has been your favourite word," Mom shook her head, "Go ahead. Tell me, what did you do?"

"So at the after-party, I kinda offered Ed Sheeran to be the first person to go through. Please don't ask me why. The answer is; I was drunk. I don't have a more logical explanation for you right now."

Mom was silent for a moment, her eyes narrowing. "Ed Sheeran? Why him?"

"I told you, I have no idea." I sipped my tea. "I'm just a fucking idiot when I'm drunk."

"So, what now? Is he actually going to do it?"

"Yep. His team got in contact. Everything is set in stone." I was ashamed of the whole Ed Sheeran thing, but now telling this to my Mother, it felt all the more embarrassing.

"Oh, God. This is going in history books, girl." Mom held her forehead in her hand.

"I know," I reciprocated. "Even worse, now they're asking the big questions like 'is the atmosphere safe on the other side?' We're still in the middle of working all that out."

"OK, asides from the Ed Sheeran fuck up," Mom put her hand on mine, "I am extremely proud of how far you've come since you were just a kid."

Uh oh. This wasn't what I wanted.

"And I know you're so busy with this whole thing, but sometimes, I just wish you'd call."

Fuck. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no. I don't wanna make you feel bad, girl. Like I said, you're a busy lady." She held a hand up.

But still, I felt bad.

"Shit. I was supposed to pick up some lemonade on the way home." Mom stood up, taking her tea with her. She had barely touched it.

"I could go to the store if you want," I suggested, taking a big gulp of tea.

"I mean, if you wanna, go for it. Tina still works there. It would be nice to see her again." Mom continued. She reached in her pocket.

I kissed Piggie on the head before putting him on the ground. "It's OK. I got it." I stood up from the table.

We had a bit of back and forth about who paid. I left before she could even give me her spare change.

Before I walked out the door, Piggie looked sad to see me go. Of course, I was coming back, but he didn't know that. Therefore I felt guilty.

I put my sunglasses on as I walked out the door. It wasn't even sunny out, but I knew I'd probably get stopped by people I used to know to dive deep into conversations about how far I had come. I had things on my mind, so many thoughts circling in my head.

I knew I should have put more effort into staying in contact with Mom. But after years of putting her through hell, I felt a sense of guilt. There were a few times I'd message, and somehow the conversation would take a turn, and she'd bring up a childhood memory.

I was done with my past. I was once a troubled child who eventually grew up to have a better mindset. I didn't want to relay the breakdowns, all of the vases I had smashed.

Then I realised how much of a contradiction that all was as I realised it was all that was on my mind as I walked down the street. So I plugged in my earbuds and drowned out the thoughts with whatever Spotify had to offer.

#rpdr fanfiction #s10 #as5 #miz cracker #jujubee #blair st clair #bob the drag queen #blair x cracker #fluff #coming of age #hurt/comfort #lesbian au #grinder #concrit welcome #tw breakdown #tw child abuse mentions #tw dementia mentions

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hotmessexpress404 · 4 years ago

Text

Saviors in a Half Shell 5

“Let me get this straight. You guys were the ones who really saved the city? Twice?”

The commotion had made national news headlines for weeks years ago. The most recent occurrence was five years ago, way before Y/N had made her way to the city.

It was the sort of thing that led to many online conspiracy theories, but none of them had any solid evidence. The media led people to believe it was a man named Vernon Fenwick, who had subsequently called himself ‘the Falcon’.

How obnoxious.

“We knew we wouldn’t be accepted by the general public, and he just so happened to be working with us- it made sense,” Leonardo shrugged.

“People are so gullible,” she snorted. She shook her head. “Even I had a feeling he couldn’t have taken that thing down without help. I mean, one man? Unless it was dumb luck. I’m still trying to understand why someone wants to take over a city. A single city. What, turn it into his kingdom? He knows there are bigger and better cities out there, right?”

“Bigger and better? Oh, man! We have been so busy saving this city, we haven’t been able to finish our hip-hop Christmas album!” Mikey couldn’t have sounded more pitiful.

Y/N laughed. “I’d love to hear you guys try to rap Silent Night. Ninjas and all.”

Right as Michelangelo opened his mouth to give her a proper demonstration, he was pushed over by his red-banded brother.

“Someone’s a party pooper.”

“I just spared your eardrums,” Raph said, looking quite pleased with himself.

“What a sweetheart,” Y/N said through a snort. These guys were definitely brothers, the way they treated each other.

“Speaking of sweethearts,” Mikey grinned. “What are you going to do now? Now that you know us and all. You gonna stay here for good?”

“Mikey-” Raph growled.

Y/N just shook her head. “I have an apartment in Brooklyn I should probably get back to at some point. And a job.”

“Do you think you’re ready to get back to all that?” Leonardo asked her quietly. He still wasn’t sure what pushed you so far towards the edge- depression, that was pretty clear. Was there a more specific reason?

She shrugged again. “Have to sooner or later. It comes and goes. Good days, bad days, you know?” She looked around the room with a small smile. “Plus, if I go back to… All that, and I feel like it’s all going down the drain again- well, you guys make a mean cup of tea.”

The brothers looked between each other. It was obvious they all felt some type of way to hear that she was leaving. They had known this woman for less than twenty-four hours, and yet the thought of her leaving them left them feeling empty. She was one more human that accepted them for who they were. She didn’t run, she didn’t scream, she just accepted it.

“I took the liberty of adding our numbers to your phone,” Donatello said finally. “In case you ever need us for any reason.”

“Need a cup of tea, an escape, a friend-”

“-Boyfriend-” Mikey cut in.

Raph wasted no time knocking him over completely this time.

“I don’t think I could handle you, Michelangelo,” Y/N gave him a small smile. “You remind me of me when I was younger.”

Mikey got to his feet, dusting off his thighs. “How old are you again?”

She grinned. “Twenty-one, legal drinking age.”

He shook his head in confusion. “We’re older than you.”

“I really can’t thank you guys enough for this,” Y/N said, ignoring Mikey’s statement. “Especially you two.” She looked between Raphael and Leonardo. “Especially you two. And the Thai food of course.”

It felt like it had been an eternity since she left. It was almost dusk, it had really only been hours. Donatello gave her an extremely detailed map of the sewers, including the streets they followed, in case she wanted to come down by herself. They all figured she’d just ask for an escort, but in case she didn’t feel like it.

“And as soon as she comes into our lives, she leaves,” Michelangelo said through a dramatic sigh. “Do you think she’ll be okay?”

“She’ll be alright,” Donatello said. “I added multiple suicide hotlines and therapists to her phone when I added us.”

“She can’t just stay here forever,” Raphael grunted. “She lives up top, she belongs up there. April and Casey don’t live their lives down here with us, do they? No, they live up top with the other humans.”

Leonardo stayed quiet. They were right- she belonged up there with the other humans. She had a job, an apartment, a life- they were just four turtles that lived in the shadows. They saved her from a mistake she couldn’t go back from. What she did now was up to her.

“Maybe we should check on her tonight!” Mikey said, disrupting Leonardo from his thoughts. “Don, you got her address, right?”

“You think I’d let her leave without knowing where to find her? Do you even know me?” Donatello let out a ‘pfft’. “I have her address, her workplace, her social media profiles.”

“Isn’t that going a little too far?” Leonardo said.

“It’s all for her safety!” Mikey argued, even though the question obviously wasn’t pointed towards him.

Leonardo sighed. “Fine. We can check on her tonight.”

He tried to convince himself it was for his brothers’ sake.

“Since you did all that research on her, might as well not put it to waste. Whadoya got, Donnie?” Raph asked as he plopped back down on the couch.

Donnie pushed up his goggles, more for effect than anything. They were quite literally strapped to his head. “According to all of her profiles, she was born in Iowa and moved here a year and a half ago. No listed family members. Says here that she works for herself, doesn’t say what, but I’m seeing a portfolio right here with a bunch of different headshots.”

Mikey made his way over to Donnie’s corner, squinting at the screens. “Maybe she’s a professional photographer. Do you think she could shoot the music video for our Christmas album?”

“I have a feeling it’s more of what’s in the picture that is her job,” Donnie said slowly. “My money’s on makeup or hair.”

“What do you know about that stuff?” Raph questioned.

“Hey, if it was a photography portfolio, you’d definitely see more variety than just heads,” Donnie replied, rolling his eyes.

“Too bad we don’t need a new hairdresser,” Raph snorted, running his hand over his bald head. “Alopecia right here.”

“We’re turtles, we don’t grow hair in the first place.”

“It was a joke, Don.”

“It wasn’t a very thought out joke.”

By that point, Leonardo was no longer paying attention to his brothers. He was no judge of skills with hair, but these pictures didn’t look half bad. Maybe he needed to pay attention to pop culture a bit more to understand. Was she dissatisfied with her work?

She hadn’t mentioned a roommate. He figured she lived alone. Leo recalled April saying how expensive it was to have your own apartment in any part of New York. She couldn’t have been that bad at her job to be able to live on her own.

His thoughts were disrupted when he felt his phone buzz.

Miss me yet? - Y/N

He frowned, looking down at the screen. It had only been hours.

You guys seriously messed up my sleep schedule, I’m wide awake and it’s almost nine at night. - Y/N

Oh yeah? Almost time for us to get to work - Leonardo

Ah, the night shift. Latest I’ve worked was probably until two. I didn’t want to even think about waking up the next morning. - Y/N

You work that late? - Leonardo

I had no idea this client was going to take me eight hours. We were almost sick of each other by the end of it. - Y/N

Maybe Donnie was right. He had no frame of reference for photography, but that seemed late. Did hair related things take that long?

I’ll let you get back to work. Maybe you’ll even save another damsel tonight. - Y/N

Let’s hope I don’t have to - Leonardo

He wasn’t sure his brothers could handle two humans in twenty-four hours. Mikey would go crazy.

“Leonardo? Earth to Leonardo?”

He bounced back into reality. “What did I miss?”

“Um, our entire conversation?” Mikey said, poking him on the shoulder. “It’s your head that’s in the clouds today.”

He sighed. “What, then?”

“April says she has a lead on the Purple Dragons,” Donnie said, turning towards them. “They’re hitting several spots tonight. We need to get going.”

“Alright, you know the drill,” Leonardo said loudly. “What are we waiting for?”

He didn’t have to ask twice.

Meanwhile, Y/N was settling back into her apartment. She regretted leaving it in such a mess the night before. It had taken her until now to finally get it straightened up enough to have company.

Not that she was expecting company.

She let out a small sigh as she placed a mug of tepid water in the microwave. She briefly recalled the events that ensued in the past twenty-four hours.

She did not wake up yesterday thinking she was going to get that close. It had taken all of her courage to even stand on that ledge. Heights were not her friend, ever since she was a child. Maybe it wasn’t the fear of heights so much as it was the fear of falling.

It didn’t make sense that it was her chosen method.

She shook her head quickly. No, those were not the kind of thoughts she needed. Not this soon.

Truth be told, it was hard to live in a city such as New York. It was so easy to get carried away with the hustle and bustle the city was known for. Even on her daily walk to the shop, she felt like a tiny speck in the big picture. Nobody gave her a smile, nobody even looked at her. It wasn’t what she was used to.

Hell, back in the Midwest, people smiled at strangers as they passed them on the road. They waved to people driving tractors, and were even pleasant if one was going ten miles per hour. But here?

If you so much as stopped on the sidewalk, you were given death glares and knew people wished you didn’t exist in that moment.

Maybe she wasn’t meant to stay here.

It was almost every hairstylist’s dream. If you could make it in New York, you really made it. It was a cherry on top if you ended up catering to hair shows, took on a sponsorship for various brands. If you made it in New York, you could even create your own line of color and hair products.

Two and a half years after gaining her license in hairdressing, it just wasn’t what she expected. The hair was great, that wasn’t the problem. The environment drained her. She wasn’t sure if it was worth the heartache.

But those four brothers…

“Maybe I should check in on them,” she told herself.

The microwave began to beep. She reached in to pull the hopefully hot water-filled mug and gasped when the ceramic burnt at her skin. No, she’d give that a minute to cool off, actually.

She glanced over at her phone, it was dangerously close to falling off the edge of the couch. Y/N made her way over and unlocked it with her fingerprint. As she did so, she quietly wondered how Donatello managed to get into it in the first place.

In fact, their four names were now listed as her emergency contact numbers. They were even color coded, not that she needed a reminder on who was who. She decided to text Leo.

Miss me yet? - Y/N

After thinking for another second, she sent another text. Hopefully they weren’t weird about double-texting.

You guys seriously messed up my sleep schedule, I’m wide awake and it’s almost nine at night. - Y/N

It wasn’t completely true, she didn’t typically go to bed until midnight or so. There was no harm in friendly banter, right?

She set her phone back down, on the counter this time, and went to check on her mug of hopefully no longer boiling hot water. Before her fingers even touched it, it dinged.

Oh yeah? Almost time for us to get to work - Leonardo

She looked at the message for a while, her mug of tea leaf-less water all but forgotten.

Ah, the night shift. Latest I’ve worked was probably until two. I didn’t want to even think about waking up the next morning. - Y/N

You work that late? - Leonardo

Did I ever tell them what I did for a living?

Not that it would really matter to them. They obviously didn’t need a beautician.

The hair thing, she was definitely referring to the hair thing. Turtles didn’t have hair. Not that she saw, anyway-

Y/N, I swear, they’re fuckin’ turtles. Of course they don’t have hair anywhere.

I had no idea this client was going to take me eight hours. We were almost sick of each other by the end of it. - Y/N

She remembered that night well. It was actually one of her first clients that she ever got since moving to the Big Apple. And boy, was this girl loyal. She bought product every time, tipped well, even consulted for possible wigs. Y/N wasn’t sure why she would want wigs, she had beautiful hair, but she wasn’t about to judge. That was money.

Plus, she worked for some TV station local to New York. This client was a dream client.

As soon as she sent the message, she groaned. He probably didn’t even care to hear about that kind of stuff. He was probably busy anyway. You know, saving the city.

I’ll let you get back to work. Maybe you’ll even save another damsel tonight. - Y/N

She had to admit, knowing she was the first person they’d saved in such a way made her feel special. Sure, it was the worst possible circumstance, but… In her mind, it was almost like fate. They were different, but they accepted her into their home so easily. They knew she needed help and didn’t hesitate to try their best. They gave her a safe space to sleep, away from her own world. It gave her time to clear her head. Maybe the meditating had something to do with it.

Let’s hope I don’t have to - Leonardo

For some reason, the last message didn’t hit quite right with her. It suddenly drew her back.

Just make some tea, Y/N. Light some candles. Deep breaths.

The last thing she wanted was to be a burden to these four new beings in her life she’d love to consider her first real friends in the city. She crossed her fingers that he didn’t mean his words the way she took them.

Candles lit, tea freshly brewed (and with a chunk of ice for good measure), Y/N settled down on the couch with an oversized blanket and decided to watch something on TV. That’d clear her mind.

“April’s hair does look so good,” she mumbled to herself with a smile, the first thing on TV was the nightly news. “Good job, me.”

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2k14 #tmnt 2k16 #adult turtles #reader insert #tmnt reader inesrt #tmnt leo #tmnt mikey #tmnt raph #tmnt donnie #leo x reader #leonardo x reader #tmnt x reader #tmnt imagines #leonardo tmnt #tmnt leonardo #bayverse tmnt #tmnt bayverse

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cadomoisspokenfor · 4 years ago

Text

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 8:

The Revolution

Aw man, how unfortunate what’s happened to Clark. I feel soooooooo bad. I mean he was just humble div 3 agent, doing his job, gaslighting marginalized individuals, participating in a genocide. How cruel of those bad bad mutants to injure him so badly. He was only actively about to kill David. What could he possibly have done to deserve any of this?

In other words, the Clark propaganda is not working on me this time. At all.

Maybe don’t participate in a genocide? Idk :/

I normally hate when people type in the passive aggressive way I have been for the past few paragraphs, but goddamn, Clark deserves it.

He’s not quite as damaged... but he’s kind’ve like old David here, from the over-medicated living with Amy timeline. Again, not quite as damaged as that though.

Clark considers mutants a “threat to democracy.” 🙄 “Moral panic” I guess?

“The second I walk outta this room, i’m going to war.” There’s that word again. Clark could just... not, and they’d probably have more time to figure out how to safely eradicate Farouk. But because he doesn’t and David busies himself with peace treaties, Farouk escapes and continues to be a problem for the next year. Clark has a family. A husband and child who love him to death. And he chooses war over them. This pattern will repeat in other character. Technically this isn’t even the start of it.

Suit change, new cane, same Clark. This really doesn’t change anything, does it? He could go through the rest of the series in the suit he wore before and it wouldn’t make difference. The valiant hero dressing for an expected victory over their long time (relatively) rival, only to be stopped immediately by an unforeseen development. This pattern will repeat... tragically.

Considering Farouk!David woulda just dusted them, it’s probably nice for his friends to see the real him is much less violent. He just stacks em like a Jenga Tower, no need for anything more.

Also, Wilhelm scream from one of the soldiers.

He’s also talking strangely. In an almost too calm voice. Measured. He talks like this a few other times, but I think those times have sadder context. Maybe they reflect on this moment. He talks like how he talked when Farouk was mind-melded with him, but his intentions aren’t evil this time around. I guess this is just his “fully in control” voice.

Clark’s literally shaking where he stands.

The zoom in to Clark’s blind eye is reminiscent to previous zoom in’s to Walter’s foggy eye. I guess Clark has taken on the role of Walter, artificially. Makes sense since he’s now the main D3 representative/antagonist like Walter was before.

“I don’t care if you save me, or the world, if you don’t save yourself.” David will eventually choose himself over the world, and Syd. And Syd will hunt him for it. Goes to show how much things change in s2.

“You know the most dangerous thing about schizophrenia?”

“You’re not-“

“The most dangerous thing is believing... you don’t have it! That’s the trick, the mind killer, your disease convinces you you don’t have it. So, for example, one day in the hospital you meet a girl and she has some friends, and they tell you you’re not sick. You have superpowers. And more than anything you wanna believe it because that means you’re not crazy! That means you can fall in love and live happily ever after. But you know if you believe it, if you surrender to the hope and you’re wrong, then... you’re never coming back.”

“I’m here. I’m real. The power is real. You gotta accept it, otherwise we can’t move on.”

“I was in Clockworks for six years. Drugged, doing nothing. Contributing nothing. And now, finally I can be useful! I can help! Don’t you get it? I am so sick of myself. This only works if it’s not about me.”

“David...”

So... that’s a lot. David believes being crazy means he’s not allowed to fall in love, or be happy. He said the same sentiment to Amy before Clockworks. This whole season and this episode especially push David into his full “I’m not insane, I won’t believe you if you tell me otherwise” mindset. At the very least that’s the stakes we’re playing with. If David fully gives into the hope, even for a moment, he believes there’s no possibility for recovery. No possibility for love or happiness. Why even try after that? It’s life or death for him. “If the choice is between life and death, I choose life.”

I know this is all already known and talked about and circulated 100’s of times over in various fan circles, but it’s probably the most important line for David’s character (the speech, not the Farouk quote). It’s very ableist, yes, but at least in the moment it’s coming from someone who’s just being too hard on themselves, and not ya know, being actively validated by the show.

2 episodes ago David talked about being worried about an “invincible” feeling. The dangers of mania.

We also know from that episode that David is more at peace in a calm, responsibilityless setting (with Syd) than he is out in the real world. David’s gonna take on a ton of responsibility, some of it’s gonna draw him away from Syd. At multiple moments throughout the show David has known his own mental health better than any of the others, and even warned them about potentially dangerous slopes he could fall down without their help. Despite this, David is pushed further down a path he tells them is dangerous and is still blamed for what happens in the end. I feel like Oliver’s line from ep4 is relevant here again, “We are the root of all our problems. Our anger, our confusion, our fear of things we don’t understand.” Everyone wants David to be something other than... David. A hero, a god, there projected image of a perfect partner. Not just... David.

Man, the more I realize about David’s self-awareness in s1 the madder I am at Syd for saying all that ableist stuff to him in s2 as if he wasn’t already down on himself 24/7. “It never occurred to you that you’re the problem not the solution?” It’s occurred to him like 5 times by now and has been shut down by you at least 3 of those times. I don’t understand.

What’s strange is... to my recollection David doesn’t believe he’s invincible at the end of s2. Or that he’s not sick.

“Saint David.”

“I’m not saying that. I make mistakes.”

“Say you’re gonna let them kill me if I don’t let them turn me into something different. Something easy. Something clean.” He sounds sinister here, but it is an indication that he knows he’s not perfect. In fact it sounds like he’s trying to appeal to Chap 1 Syd’s mentality. Your disorder is what “makes you you.”

So what’s the message here?

“We can’t just kill people. Or is that who we are now?”

“That’s who they are.”

The justification for killing here is that they’ll kill them if they don’t. Div 3 will kill Summerland if Summerland doesn’t kill Div 3, is what I meant. David has a similar justification for killing Shadow King in s2. Well, he has a LOT of justifications for it, but that’s one of them. Syd doesn’t hear it then either. She does attempt to kill David herself though. I don’t quite understand where the line is.

“He was gonna kill you, twice.”

“With that kind of thinking wars would never end.”

So... he shoulda just talked to The Shadow King when they were both powerless? Talking is what ultimately ends their fight in s3... hmm...

Cary is more humane to their POW than Melanie and Ptonomy are.

The show doesn’t necessarily say it was Cary’s fault for leaving Kerry. Either way though, Kerry needs some space.

Melanie calls David a “world breaker” and outright says now that he knows that’s what he is, div 3 doesn’t stand a chance. I suppose... knowing that... is why they so readily team with Farouk. They stood no chance otherwise. Even then, at least hide him away till after the intervention.

David’s floating meditation pose is seen more in s2 and A LOT more in s3.

He puts the onus of ending the war on Div 3. As if to say, “If things get violent again, it’ll be on you, not us.”

People keep talking about “gods” “waking up” and “realizing they don’t have to listen to us/them anymore.”

When Clark says it David’s first response is, “Isn’t that the history of the world?” But it’s a red herring (or something else) cause he follows it up with, “People of different nations, different languages, learning to live together?”

Clark is afraid if mutants gain power they won’t show humans mercy or equality. This is a common belief among fascist. The “they’ll treat us like we treat them” argument. Only it’s rarely self-aware, and it isn’t here either. Clark genuinely believes he’s not doing anything wrong. It’s all somehow in “self defense.”

Ah, so Farouk and Syd are connected psychically. He entered her mind whenever she entered David’s. He psychically affects her at multiple points throughout the series.

Syd here is convinced to help The Shadow King by The Shadow King. And while he’s wearing a mask at that. Yeah yeah, this pattern will repeat. But still, Syd gives in relatively quickly here. Perhaps she just... doesn’t fully trust Summerlands capabilities? They are legitimately trying to get rid of Farouk, but Farouk has proven time and time again how dangerous he is. Or maybe the “unmake soup” thing is just that convincing to Syd.

Clark’s still standoffish, but he’s slowly becoming more cooperative.

Syd rolled a 4 on that hero speech. She needed at least a 7.

I legitimately NEVER noticed before that Syd secretly turns on the lab camera feed for Clark to watch. They weren’t trying to show him that.

David gets a chance to look back at his whole life and recontextualize everything.

David straight up halts Farouk’s theme. If Clockworks Podcast is right and he can hear that whenever Farouk shows up, this would be evidence of it. Alternatively, he was halting Farouk, and the music halting was for the audience. A fun subversion of expectations.

David describes him and Farouk as, “The Sun and Moon.”

Division 3 sees it. The monster they saw on infrared. Clearly a separate entity from David Haller. Clearly of a different disposition than David Haller as David Haller has acted very differently and non-hostile compared to when they saw him roaming those HQ halls. The monster and David are not the same. They see who their real enemy is now.

It seems evident there was no chance of David beating Farouk on his own here. I wonder why? Was it true? Is Farouk just too ingrained in his mind? Cary said he was like a, “Computer virus. Learning his systems, bypassing his defenses.” Maybe Syd remembered that, and that’s why she believed Farouk. Cause Cary had already said something similar before.

Clark could've escaped, but he stayed, then tried to help fight Farouk.

I feel really sad Oliver got possessed. It never occurred to me before he could even tell Melanie he remembered her. Melanie’ll just go on thinking he never remembered her for a year.

And thus it’s established. There are “good mutants” and there are “bad mutants.”

No one checks on Ptonomy :(

The Lenny that’s talking to Oliver here is still just Farouk.

Did the orb go back as far as it could? Or was this time specifically chosen? If it was chosen, it was probably because it’s very soon after Farouk had been expelled from David’s head, and before the big race for his body starts.

#legion fx

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madamwinchester67 · 4 years ago

Text

A Life With You Part 2

Hi Everyone. I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry it took me so long to update this story. I was busy taking care of my sick mother who just passed away September 1st 😭. I hope that i can continue to update this story more frequently, but if i’m being honest, i’m winging it as I go. But feedback will deff motivate me to figure out where this story is going 🥰 Thank u to those who like it so far and without further ado, here’s Part 2. 😘 (ha! that rhymed! 😉) *sorry for any mistakes*

Growing up, you were never the one guys went after. You were never flirted with, you were never asked out on dates and you were never one to be looked at twice. You were basically invisible... until you met Dean Winchester. Maybe it was because he doesn’t judge or because he felt bad for you, either way, Dean Winchester seemed to understand you and made you feel “seen”. He listened when you spoke, gave advice when he could and made you feel wanted.

Maybe that’s why you let yourself think that Dean had feelings for you. No one had ever made an effort to care about you or make you smile like he did. No one had ever gone out of their way to make sure you felt comfortable. No one had ever made you feel loved before. Sure, Sam, Cas & Jack all care about you, but none of them treated you like Dean has so you knew they loved you like family but Dean? That was a different kind of love, or so you convinced yourself....and boy, were you wrong.

So now, here you are, in a grocery store, with a cart full of junk you just threw in there, tears in your eyes, sadness in your heart and questions on your mind.

“How do I go back to how things were? How do I act like Dean didn’t just rip my heart out of my chest? How am I going to react when I see him flirt with random women now that my feelings for him are out in the open? Even worse, how will I react when he goes off to fuck some bar skank?”

That last thought brought a fresh new batch of tears rolling down your cheeks.

“What have I gotten myself into?”

You shake your head, wipe the tears and continue with your shopping, in zombie-mode, while you try to figure out how to fix the mess you created.

Back at the Bunker, Dean goes back into the library and he’s antsy. He can’t stop thinking about you and the look on your face when he told you he doesn’t feel the same way. He can’t stop thinking about you crying inside Baby. He needs to get out... He needs to clear his head.... He needs to hunt!

He immediately opens his laptop and begins looking for a case. It doesn’t matter what kind or how dangerous it is, he needs to kill something... he needs to get rid of the guilt that’s suffocating him. You’re his best friend, the person he can confide in, the best person he knows, and now he hurt you. He was always the one defending you and protecting you from those that hurt you, he never in a million years thought he would be the one you need protecting from. It took a couple of hours but he was able to find a Salt and Burn in nearby Junction City. He bolts to his room and packs the necessary weapons he needs and once he’s done, he paces, waiting for you to return with Baby.

An hour has passed and you finally return. Your eyes are puffy and your nose is stuffy from all the crying. You know you told Dean that you were cool but now that you’ve had a few hours to think about it, you don’t have the slightest clue as to how you’re going to act around him. I mean, before you opened your mouth and said anything about your feelings, you suffered in silence everytime he went off with some bimbo for the night. You never said anything and never showed how you felt because you had no right. He had no idea how you felt but hopefully, fingers crossed, he’ll be more discreet so he doesn’t hurt you any further. The more you think about everything, the more your head hurts. You still havent recovered from your slight hangover and now the added stress of “the situation” is giving you a migraine. You need a nap.

You put the groceries and first aid items away and you go to your room, which happens to be 2 doors down from Dean’s. The moment the door closes behind you, you throw yourself face first into your bed and try to fall asleep, which, surprisingly, happens within 2 minutes.

The moment Dean hears her door close, he waits 5 minutes before sneaking out of his room. He hops into Baby and speeds out of the garage to, hopefully, relieve the immense guilt he feels.

By the time he arrives in Junction City, the salt and burn was already taken care of, much to Dean’s dismay. Since he drove all the way there for no case, he figured a stop in the local bar was called for.

He walks into the bar and almost immediately someone calls out his name. “Dean!”

Dean looks to his left and spots Garth in the corner, waving a beer in the air.

“Dean! Over here!”

Dean walks over and greets him. “Hey, Garth. What brings you around?”

“Oh, you know, a salt and burn. You?”

“That was you?! Damn, I really needed that hunt.”

A waitress comes over and takes Dean’s order of a beer and 2 shots of whiskey, neat.

“What’s wrong?” asks Garth.

Dean sighs heavily and tells him what happened between the two of you.

“Huh.”

“What?” asks Dean.

“Nothing, just, I always thought you two would get together at some point.”

Dean chokes on his beer. “Wh-what? What do you mean? We’re just friends.”

“Well, yeah, but I mean, you two are practically attached at the hip. You know each other inside and out and you argue like a married couple, so I just assumed it was a matter of time before you two made it official.”

“We’re just friends” repeats Dean, in an almost rehearsed way.

“Well, if she confessed her feelings for you, I’m pretty sure she did it because she thought you felt the same way. If you’re just friends, then what gave her the impression you had feelings for her when you don’t?” asked Garth.

“I...”

“That’s a good question” thought Dean.

Garth gets up to use the bathroom while Dean sits at the table, thinking.... until it finally hit him! Everything he does for you, the coffees, the forehead kisses, the lingering touches, carrying you to bed when you fall asleep in Baby, everything he does for you has been giving you false hope. He’s been leading you on without even realizing it and he can’t believe he had to break your heart to realize the damage he’s been doing to you. He’s sick to his stomach. How could he have been so blind?! Of course you would think he has feelings for you when he was treating you like a girlfriend.

If he thought the guilt was bad before, its nothing compared to now. At least now, he understands the guilt. He walks up to the bar and order more shots of whiskey and tells the bartender to “keep ‘em coming”.

About 4 shots in, a beautiful, busty brunette makes her way over to Dean.

“If its a distraction you need, sugar, all you have to do is ask” she says as she downs one of his shots.

Dean takes one look at her, downs his last shot and leaves the bar with her. He knows going home with the brunette isn’t going to solve anything, but he’s clearly not thinking straight and decides to just “go with the flow”.

The next morning, or rather, early afternoon, you wake up with puffy eyes and a headache. You rub your eyes and take a nice deep inhale and exhale. You’ve had the night to sleep on it and you have come to a conclusion. You decided that your friendship with Dean was way too important to you and something you refuse to lose. So, starting today, you’re going to put your feelings for him aside and be his friend. You now know that his nice gestures were simply that.... nice gestures. They didn’t mean what you thought they meant and maybe if you act like everything is fine, then it will be. You got up and used the bathroom. You made sure to wash your face and tried to get rid those puffy eyes. When you thought you looked semi-presentable, you went out to the kitchen, where you found Sam.

“Morning, Sammy. How was the hunt? How are Jody and the girls doing?”

“Morning, Munchkin.” says Sam as he gets up and gives her a bear hug.

“The hunt was good. Easy vamp nest. Jody and the girls are good, they say “hi” and that they miss you”

“Aww. I miss them too! I’m going to have to go visit them soon.”

As you make your way over to the coffee pot, Sam is looking at you. Even though you’re trying to act as if your heart wasn’t broken, Sam could tell something happened while he was gone because when he got home, the impala wasn’t in the garage and it looks like you have been crying. Sam adores you and sees you as a little sister so if someone hurt you, he’d do anything to protect you.

“Where’s Dean?”

You look at him confused. “Dean’s not here?”

“No. The impala’s not in the garage.” says Sam as he gauges your reaction.

As soon as Sam said that Baby wasn’t in the garage, you immediately felt sick to your stomach.

All you can think is, “I drove him away. Literally. My confession made him so uncomfortable he couldn’t stand to be under the same roof as me. I ruined it. I ruined our friendship. I ruined everything!”

As you’re thinking, your eyes begin to water. You don’t realize it until Sam calls your name.

“Munchkin, are you ok?”

You realize you were staring off into space, so you look at him and will your tears not to fall down your face.

“Y-yeah, I-“

Suddenly, the Bunker door loudly opens and Dean’s footsteps can be heard coming down the stairs. You immediately stiffen and freeze, something Sam doesn’t miss.

Dean walks into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water but stops as soon as he sees you and Sam.

Acting as if nothing’s wrong he says, “Hey Sammy”. He looks at you, swallows hard and says, “Hey, Y/N”.

Those tears you were so desperately trying to keep at bay begin to fall down your face like a waterfall. Dean, almost forgetting what happened the day before, tries to comfort you but you just walk right past him and go straight to your room.

“What happened, Dean?”

Dean is at a loss. He simply shrugs his shoulders and walks past Sam and goes to his room as well.

Once in his room, he takes off his jacket and flannel and goes over to his sink and splashes water over his face. When he looks in the mirror his heart nearly stops, because right there, on the left side of his neck, clear as day, is the hickey the brunette from the night before left on him. He has to take a step back he’s so shocked!

No wonder you left the kitchen with tears cascading down your face. Not only did he reject your feelings and sneak out without you hearing or noticing, but you probably think he purposefully went looking to sleep with anyone that wasn’t you just so he could get your confession out of his head.

If your heart was broken before, it’s shattered into sand now and its all his fault. Tears well up in his eyes and they slowly start to fall down his face as he asks himself, “What have I done?”

@hobby27

@sacrosankta

@22sarah08

@alurits

@multi-fan-lover

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x reader #angst #baby #dean winchester #unrequited love #sam winchester

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