#i have been rotating him in my mind

[mmica442]

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[calicobunnyrabbit]

whoa! it's, like, symbolic.

[basketobread]

warlock let lunara dress him up tonight for fun... be honest is he serving (no he is not)

[tinta--branca--art]

His evil trans swag has captivated me

[robingivesmemagic]

transgender jason todd is very important to me. btw

[orionis13]

I know it feels damn inhumane to lose this much

[captaincrazycreative]

Lemony Snicket would get beaten within inches of his life, get up, go have three sips of coffee, and then be like, "Well, that should be enough, I'll walk it off, time to go fight God."

[dukeofthomas]

jason thinks he should be dead (sometimes he thinks he IS dead), he's just what crawled out of jason todd's grave but he IS jason todd why cant you see that im still the same person. but im not who i used to be and you have to accept i'm different now but i'm still the same bc i'm still your son and your brother and your friend but i'm not 15 anymore (but i am i never grew up i'm still stuck in that warehouse watching the seconds count down the joker is still laughing and i'm still in pain and broken and bloody and beaten and the warehouse is everything and i'm 15 i'm 15 i'm 15) i'm an adult now i'm not a sweet lil daddy's kid anymore i've grown up (i haven't. do you remember when i played with legoes? when we went to football matches togetehr? when you drove me to school and called me chum and smiled at me gently and put your hand around my shoulder and squeezed? i loved you.) when you look at me all you see is who i used to be, you don't see ME, you just see who i used to be and i can never measure up to that, i can never be as good or kind or gentle or loving as the ghost of me that lives in your brain, but when i look in the mirror my eyes are dead like a fish's and my corpse is still in the ground and i'm not breathing because my insides are decayed and gone but i'm still standing here like a zombie, like a bad dream, like a fraction of who i used to be because i'm dead and i'm 15 and i never grew up but i'm somehow still an adult and how dare you not see me for who i am because i'm still the same but i'm still different but aren't i your son? am i at least still your son? you took me in and you loved me and you cared for me and you were my father my god my everything? i'm still your son. i'm still your son. i'm still your son.

Do you love me? Can you prove you love me? Can you prove i meant anything and can you prove my death was real?

(I love you. Please say it back.)

[changelingbaby]

blorboposting about a character from the late 14th century

[gemharvest]

I'm glad you're here.

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Holy shit. Karl RGBFverse drabble. wtfffff

This was not planned. I did not think I would actually write anything for RGBFverse and idk if I'll ever do something like this again, but something said in the demon core was driving me Insane (/pos) and I needed to get it out. And the only way to properly get it out was writing, so enjoy. :)

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A gentle, yet heavy, weight wrapped around a smaller body, holding the other. Holding him. It made the smaller feel soft; warmed his heart– though he still wouldn’t admit that.

Beef didn’t notice how he shook, lightly but still noticeable, more focused on his relief that Yourself was there at all. God, he was so happy the other was there. Had he a more sober mind, he probably would have realized YS brought him to his couch because he thought something was wrong; that it was an attempt to comfort him.

Maybe he was right, that something was wrong. His nightmare (Had it been a nightmare? Even now, it felt so real…) still fresh in his mind. But that wasn't why he came here. He wasn’t really looking for comfort– though still soaked up the attention regardless.

In truth, his worries had been dissuaded when his text was responded to. He didn't need to have come here; didn't need this hug. Sure, he was shaking, but he had been wound up by a bad dream while high. It was inevitable he’d take a bit longer to fully calm down.

What he really wanted was to just be there with YS. To appreciate his presence after being presented with a reality without it. He wanted Yourself to know he appreciated him, even if it required him being vulnerable; soft. He wasn't the one receiving a hug, at least in his mind– he was giving it.

A song wormed its way into Beef’s inebriated mind. Something he had only found recently. And really, it was a miracle he had found it at all. It was something on the slower side, something Beef didn't tend to seek out often, but it had slid itself into his recommendations the other night and the title piqued his interest. Something about ghosts, he vaguely remembered.

Not his usual style, but it captivated him.

Captivated him, and reminded him of someone– someone he clung to right now. Slow, and maybe a bit eerie, but still upbeat. Hopeful. He'd have to play it for him sometime, though he didn't want to break up their embrace to share it right now.

Without thinking, he started to hum its melody out loud. It took him a few moments to even realize what he was doing, that the sound was actually coming from him. He just assumed he was imagining it vividly again. While he'd normally be embarrassed doing something like that– he was getting more comfortable, but not yet that comfortable –he was still high enough to not really care.

It seemed the other party didn't mind, either; Beef feeling Yourself droop on top of him.

Just as he hadn't intended on humming, he wasn't meaning to make YS doze off– but that didn't mean it wasn't a good thing. They were all at least somewhat aware by now that he hardly got sleep, so him resting around any of them was a net positive.

Besides, his dozing meant Beef could keep hugging him without worrying about it getting awkward. Maybe he was a bit greedy for wanting so much time with him out of nowhere, but fuck it. YS’s consequence for pulling him into his family of selves. Should have thought about that before reaching out to other selves who had the capacity to be clingy little shits.

Beef hummed the tune more consciously now that he was aware it was relaxing Yourself; nuzzling in further himself as he did.

Slowly, YS drifted more and more, leaning further onto Beef in the process; which the smaller didn't mind at all. Maybe he couldn't quite relate to Yourself’s craving for warmth, but he could relate to how pressure soothed him. Especially the pressure of a loved one. Maybe he was still scared of admitting it, but that’s what YS was.

He really just wanted to sit there with appreciative thoughts, starting to drift off himself as both the embrace and the weed still in his system lulled him.

Unfortunately, his ADHD wasn’t going to let things be that easy– his mind wandering almost immediately. The more he thought about YS, of how much he appreciated the other being in his life, the more he was brought back to his dream.

A reality without YS. Not just without him, but one where he was dead.

In his dream, he had intended to go see YS– for what reason, he could no longer recall (though that implied he usually had a reason to visit) –but… something went wrong. The mirror-walking must have messed up, because everything felt off. It was YS’s apartment, but nothing looked right. And there was someone there, but it wasn’t YS, and then… they told him. It freaked him out so much, the next thing he remembered was waking up on his couch. Clearly a nightmare, but… it had felt so real, he-

He was glad it was just a dream. The knowledge of YS’s plan was still fresh in his mind, so his subconscious must've just warped it into a dream. That’s how that kind of thing usually happened. He was bothered by how clear everything remained in his mind, even while intoxicated, but it would fade.

That's just how bad dreams were, right? vivid for a little bit after, before being shaken off.

In his moment of derailment, Beef had stopped humming– though the limp body around him didn't seem to notice. That was good, that he had managed to drift off. He deserved rest.

The way his own eyes started to droop told him he wasn't far from it himself, but he wasn't paying much attention to himself. Not only was it hard for him to pay attention to that kind of thing while high, a ghostly glow drew his eyes.

Wings. Or at least, the ghost of them. He had seen them before, though he had ignored the sight back then. Forced it out, really, as he felt guilty for seeing them.

Right now though… he stared. Took note of how they seemed to wrap around him, like one pair of arms wasn't enough to hold him. Like he needed to be shielded in the other's grasp.

It was weird, how they were gone yet still remained in some form– outside of the scarred bumps on his back. Weirder probably for the one who lost them.

Beef wondered if Yourself was aware his wings still appeared, though he had doubts. Both times he had seen them now, YS hadn't been fully conscious– first lost in a trauma response, and now lost in peaceful sleep. It seemed they were something that showed when out of his control. How many others had seen them?

He briefly thought about asking, but even while high he could tell that probably wasn't a good idea. Beef had done enough prodding already. No, his curiosity could take a backseat and instead he'd just enjoy it as a quirk to the other. The way their presence now implied YS’s care for him (that still felt strange, and not because they were the same person), so it couldn't be a bad sign.

Eyes finally feeling too heavy, Beef shifted to bury his face in YS’s chest. A nap wouldn’t hurt.

Part of him worried about having another bad dream, but other thoughts drowned that out as his breathing slowed. He'd be fine, because his big brother was there, in his arms (he didn't think about how it was him being wrapped around). If the dream repeated, he would wake and see he was fine.

Hopefully he would be sober by the time he woke up too. Fuck, he was not going to test his limits like that again.

[456art]

the playlist for my Curse of Strahd character needed a cover image so I obliged

quick thing but p happy how it turned out

[syn0vial]

many thoughts about boba fett..... none of them coherent

[glassphinix]

this has been on my mind for like two weeks at least 💀

@dynamite124 @nevermorepjm

[amelikos]

Spinel.

[anastacialy]

i can't stop thinking about this. would anyone, i mean anyone in the world, be annoyed at scar if he lightmatica'd his season nine scarland and just plunked it down somewhere in season ten? like. he had so many more plans and i know he couldn't finish them all. so like.

idk i think he deserves to keep working on this project, if he wants to.