#i have been angry about that wasted potential ever since the final movie came out

[gravityglitch-blog]

That would have been an amazing storyline for him and a truly beautiful scene. Now I am even angrier about the wasted potential in the sequel trilogy.

you know what? I hadn’t thought about it in a while, but I am actually still very upset that we never got to see John Boyega give an impassioned speech to an army of hostile stormtroopers, and partway through the speech just one trooper lays her blaster down and takes her helmet off, and by the end Finn has won them over and they all take their helmets off as the music swells, which signifies their change of allegiance and also reminds us the audience that underneath all those indistinguishable white helmets are people with faces and personalities and hopes and dreams and connections to the Force, people who will be led by one of their own as they rise up in rebellion against the fascist empire that treated them like interchangeable cannon fodder.

we should have had that in a movie! and we didn’t! and I’m still mad about it!

[thevindicativevordan]

On Supergirl

Figured I should put up my thoughts about Kara in the wake of her first film appearance being announced, and the final season of her TV show fast approaching. Short version is: Kara is very cool and DC needs to stop messing with her. 

My Introduction to Kara

I was introduced to Kara the way most millennials/Gen Zers were I imagine, via the Loeb Superman/Batman arc which brought the traditional Kara Zor-El Supergirl take into Post-Crisis continuity, after years of DC attempting to have a “Supergirl” without violating the editorial mandate that Kal needed to be the literal “Last Son of Krypton” (an example of one of the dumb ways DC fucked Kara over). Story goes that one day Dan Didio was in line at the Superman ride at Six Flags (I love that ride even though it’s stolen my glasses every time I’ve ridden it, even when I left them in a locker!). The ride had signs that talked about various Superman characters. Didio was reading the entry for Supergirl where it talked about her not being Clark’s cousin but instead some weird merge of alien shapeshifter, angel, and human girl, and he realized how fucking stupid that was, and he went back to the office and told Loeb to bring Kara back. 

Years later I would also be standing in line at the Six Flags Superman ride (probably at a different park location but who knows?) as a youngster and would read the new Supergirl sign that trumpeted that Superman had a cousin who shared all his powers, an update reflecting the new Loeb origin. I thought she sounded pretty cool, made a note to see if my library had any Supergirl stories next time I visited, then got on the Superman ride and promptly lost my glasses like an idiot because I wanted to take them off while I was riding and pretend I was changing from my “disguise” into Superman mid flight. My dad grounded me for this afterwards, but it gave me a funny story to tell at family get togethers and isn’t that what Six Flags is all about?

A month later (and with spiffy new glasses), my mom dropped me off at a new library next to where she worked, and they had one of the best Superman collections I’ve ever seen to this day. I was in heaven and while reading every Superman book I could find (I couldn’t check them out because I didn’t have a card, my mom’s card didn’t cover the area the library was in, and my mom wouldn’t have checked them out anyway since comics were “too violent”), I found the trade collecting Kara’s new origin. I read it and I thought both she and Superman were really cool, and Batman was a  punk who had to beat Darkseid by cheating, the loser. Turner’s art to my young eyes was the best I had ever seen, and the panels got engraved into my brain. 

I still get downright nostalgic whenever I see Turner Superman or Supergirl stuff. I also got my parents to rent the animated movie adaption of the Superman/Batman arc from Blockbuster (remember those?), and that sealed the deal. Seeing Kara hold her own against Darkseid convinced me she was as cool as her cousin. Next time my mom dropped me off at the library next to her workplace, I went looking for Supergirl stuff to read. I found the first volume of her new volume by Joe Kelly taking place after the Loeb arc and dove in.

It was... weird. 5 years later I might have enjoyed it but at the time I was majorly put off. Kara took a secret identity for a day and then ditched it because it was “stupid” and the kids bullied her. She was always getting into fights with Kal, and there was this weird plot that I couldn’t follow about how her dad had sent her to kill Kal, maybe or maybe not? Also she could grow crystals which I thought was dumb, and said she was stronger than her cousin which I couldn’t buy for a second given he looked like he was carved out of marble, and she looked like she relied on sunlight instead of food. I put the volume back on the shelf and kinda gave up on reading the character after that for a while. 

I followed her via the DC wiki updates just like I did Superman, and everything I read seemed dumb and convoluted. She was split in two, moped around a lot, made out with an alternate version of her cousin, and basically just flopped about the same way the rest of the Superfamily did during the 00s. Nothing made me think I had made a mistake dropping Kara until I read the latest update to her wiki page.

I was super into what I was reading about the Busiek/Johns era of Superman online. Lex was back and making a big revenge scheme that involved all the other Rogues! Old Superman Rogues were getting revamped and made cool again! Johns reintroduced Brainiac and made him a big threat, with Kal and Kara teaming up to fight him! Busiek was revamping Prankster and telling big ambitious Superman stories! For the first time in a long while, the consensus on the Internet was that Superman was good again. My “home” library had zero Marvel books and no Superman or Batman books, all their DC stuff was Flash or Green Lantern, mainly written by Johns. Insane to think back on now. My hopes that because Johns was involved with Superman, Superman books would show up at my library were fulfilled. They started bringing in Busiek and Johns collections, and someone there also ordered Sterling Gates’ first volume of Supergirl, and I checked everything out since I was old enough to have my own library card, and my parents were worried more about the violent video games I was playing rather than comics.

I read everything and loved it. I also really liked Gates’ take on Kara. She was still an imperfect teenager but she wasn’t insufferably angsty or constantly fighting with Kal. She was going to give the secret identity another try and Lana had “adopted” her. It’s funny remembering how I enjoyed all that given my current thoughts on how Kara should work, but it was great at the time. I liked Gates introducing new foes for Kara, some classic Superman Rogues adapted for her like Bizzarogirl, others crafted specifically for her like Reactron. Gates’ basically rekindled my enjoyment of Kara the same way Busiek & Johns rekindled my enjoyment of Superman.

Of course it ended terribly like everything Superman-related seems to.

I’ve got a whole post I want to do about New Krypton and what came after. In short that is the most blatant example of “hitting the reset button” that I’ve ever seen. All the potential got wasted, and afterwards everything except Lex’s Action Comics stuff just didn’t appeal to me. Gates got booted off Kara for Nick Spencer who ended up leaving himself later, a promising Teen Titans line-up with Kara on it didn’t happen, and the last proper Pre-Flashpoint Superfamily story was a crappy team-up with Doomsday against Bigger Doomsday (thank God for Cornell’s final Luthor/Superman confrontation at least). When news of the reboot arrived, I was honestly happy. The Superline needed an enema.

Controversial opinion time: I liked New 52 Supergirl. It’s weird because a lot of the stuff I hated about Kelly’s run was here, and a lot of the stuff I loved about the Gates’ run was not. This was angry, moody, emotional Kara again, fighting with Kal and not fond of Earth. But I was in my teens at this point, and I didn’t want happy go-lucky Superman or Supergirl. I wanted my heroes angry, scared of the future, ready to go out there and smash some cars. Morrison’s Action Comics was 100% my jam (still is once I really understood the deeper meaning beneath the work) and this Kara felt like a natural fit for this universe. Plus we got Asrar on art and that guy made it damn pretty to look at, lots of cool science fiction stuff going on, even with the dumb H’el storyline.

I loved all the new Rogues Kara got. I loved her new Fortress under the ocean. I loved how traumatized she was by the loss of Krypton, that she wanted more than anything to go home, that her cousin was like a stranger to her since they had been apart for so long. I found all of that incredibly relatable. A lot of the New 52 Supergirl stories might have been schlock but it was my type of schlock damnit, and I enjoyed it!

I kept with her New 52 series all the way through the Red Daughter Saga (which I loved). As someone who grew up on Johns GL (since that was the only comics my home library had), seeing a Supercharacter join a Lantern Corp was the hypest thing ever. I loved the finale about Kara finally letting go of her anger and losing the ring while smashing her foe into the sun, it was incredibly cathartic for me as an angry teen myself. I finally stopped following her series sometime after since I was no longer enjoying the Superline or really DC as a whole. It wasn’t until I heard that New 52 Superman died and the “old” Superman was back, that I checked back into DC.

DC Rebirth & How I Think Kara Should Work

I did not enjoy Supergirl Rebirth, and I think I’ll talk about my problems with it alongside how I think Kara as a character should work since the two are related. A pet peeve of mine that has formed over the years is this: I don’t like it when Superfamily members get turned into Clark clones. Kon wearing glasses and going to Smallville High. Kara going to high school and being involved in journalism. Jon more or less being written as a copy of his dad personality-wise. I hate that kind of stuff because it’s boring. What’s the point of a Superfamily if everyone is just copying Clark? It also doesn’t fit the characters especially in Kara’s case. Why the hell does she want to be a journalist? Were there journalists on Krypton? I don’t remember ever seeing one! Shouldn’t she want to be, I dunno, a scientist? That seems to have been the El family tradition, wouldn’t she have been groomed for that?

This one-off by Shea is honestly the only acceptable outcome for Kara going into journalism for me. She realizes she’s just copying her cousin and switches to something she wants to do. So Orlando copying the show, which already basically turned Kara into an expy of her cousin, just did not appeal to me at all. What had worked for me under Gates way back when was not clicking for me this time. I wanted to see Kara embody the principles of the S-shield in a different way than her cousin did. So I really enjoyed when Rebirth ended and we moved into the Bendis era with Andrekyo relaunching the title as Kara in space.

Kara in space has always felt like a good fit for me. Unlike Kal I’ve come to believe that Kara really shouldn’t be all that fond of Earth. For him it’s home, but for her it’s just where she ended up after her real home got destroyed. I think Kara works well as a sort of nomad, occasionally making stops back home to Earth to check on her cousin, but otherwise? She’s more comfortable out in space than she could ever be on Earth. Out in space she can be Kryptonian (which is what she should think of herself as in contrast to Clark being torn between his Kryptonian biology and human upbringing, and Jon/Kon identifying as human), be her true self, not have to pretend to be human to fit in. Kara founding a moon refuge was one of the best ideas for her that I’ve seen, I would love if DC made her Future State refugee center on the moon canon. I’m excited for more Kara adventures in space with the upcoming Tom King story.

Also love that her and Krypto are getting tied together, if they don’t want to use Krypto in Superman’s stuff, let her have him! Bring on cosmic adventurer Supergirl!

Personality & Other Traits

Kara to me should be more hot-tempered than her cousin. All the Superfamily members should have a temper in my opinion, I see that as the “Deadly Sin” of Superman and his family. But while Kal is like a simmering pot that will explode if it’s left cooking for too long, Kara is like dynamite. Light her fuse at your own peril because she will go off on you.

I also like the idea of Kara being rash. Kal’s got a maturity that came from over a decade of having to live with Lex Luthor constantly getting away with all his evil schemes. He’s patient because he’s been forced to be. Kara? If you ask for her help she’ll give it, but beware because she doesn’t really care about the long term impacts of her decisions. She’s an invulnerable teenager after all.

Really liked that Venditti Annual where Kara got tutored in history by a reincarnation of Hawkman. Kara having a passion for history is a neat trait, would be nice to see her teach Kal or Jon some Kryptonian lore, or have her lead a Kryptonian holiday celebration for the Superfamily because she’s the only one who remembers how to do it. 

Sexuality wise I know a lot of people ship Kara and Lena on account of the chemistry between the two in the show. I haven’t watched the show myself but I’m fine with making Kara bisexual, the Superfamily could use some LGBT+ rep, and Lena hasn’t done anything of worth as a villain, so undo that and throw the two together. If we’re letting Harley and Ivy get away with murder I think we can let Lena off the hook too, undo the Ultrawoman weirdness and put the two together. Could be fun seeing the two building that moon refuge together.

All in all I think Kara is a great character who is a stronger embodiment of the immigrant experience than even her cousin in some ways. I hope King does a good job with her, she’s treated better than her cousin on the film side, and that overall the 20s are a better decade for Supergirl than the 10s were.

[spuffybot]

Walk Me to the Graveyard

Summary: Buffy walks through the graveyard alone at night, contemplating the past few months following the fall of Sunnydale. She reflects on her relationship with Spike, her friendships, and her future before receiving a shocking phone call.

Characters: Buffy, Willow, Dawn, Spike (mentions of Giles, Xander, Andrew, Kennedy, Faith, Wood, Angel, and Fred)

Warnings: Some adult language

Word Count: 4515

Author’s notes: If you read this, thank you. I’ve been chipping away at it for the past few weeks and I’m just glad I was able to finish something I started. “Ghostface” is a reference to the Scream movies, which Sarah Michelle Gellar had a cameo in. The high tea spot with the egg shaped bathrooms is Sketch, a place I didn’t get to visit this year due to the pandemic. I hope you all have a safe holiday season and new year. Hopefully I’ll finish the second part of this story in 2021.

Walk Me to the Graveyard (part 1)

Buffy’s joints creaked as she stood up from her crouched position. She’d been staking out this grave (no pun intended) for hours and dawn was slowly approaching. In the last few minutes the air had started to change, and she could hear the telltale rustling of birds in the trees. If this vampire was going to rise, it wouldn’t be tonight.

Stretching her arms up over her head, she rolled out her stiff shoulders, feeling strangely relieved by the lack of action.

Buffy had been coming to this cemetery every couple of nights for weeks, sniffing out even the barest hint of vampire activity. Technically she could have assigned graveyard duty to any of the Potentials, but she craved the silence and the normalcy of the activity.

She chuckled to herself. How far she’d come that she could relish a few hours of graveyard haunting and call it normal. If only her sixteen-year-old self could see her now.

The truth was she was tired. After the fall of Sunnydale, she’d been fueled by an insatiable need to just keep moving. Giles had suggested they hole up in LA and take refuge with Angel Investigations, but Buffy refused. She wanted to get started on rebuilding as soon as possible. They couldn’t afford to waste time in LA, on Angel’s turf, killing time as his sidekicks while thousands of girls woke up with powers they couldn’t explain. So instead the Scoobies had moved to London, taking on the role of de-facto Watchers Council. They’d rounded up the few surviving members of the former Council and had started reaching out to as many activated Potentials as possible.

They recruited the ones they could and provided support (emotional and financial) to the ones they couldn’t. It was rewarding and it kept her mind off things.

Things like telling a man she loved him only to have him choose death over a future with her.

Buffy kicked a crumbling headstone, cursing when she stubbed her toe.

She knew that wasn’t fair. Spike died saving the world. It was a sacrifice she’d made more than once, and she knew how much she resented the people she left behind for not understanding the weight of that choice. She didn’t want to sully the memory of his heroics with her bitterness. She just couldn’t help it. Besides, focusing on missing Spike was easier than accepting she didn’t know how to function now that she wasn’t the “one girl in all the world.” The irony of having an identity crisis over getting the one thing she’d always thought she wanted was not lost on her. She should be grateful that she wasn’t the only Slayer. Grateful that her future was finally hers to shape. Instead she just felt lost.

It didn’t help that everyone around her was adjusting to this new life and mission like they were born to it. Dawn was training to be a Watcher, and frankly, they needed as many as they could get. The Slayer to Watcher ratio had been drastically tipped and it was only a matter of time before things got out of control.

Faith and Wood had stayed behind in America, taking up shop at the Hellmouth in Cleveland. It was weird to think of Faith as the reigning defender of the Hellmouth, but it felt right. With Wood by her side she would stay grounded and on track. He understood the mission better than most.

Giles was in his glory. He’d vetted the surviving Watchers, firing some gleefully and taking others under his wing. Between them they’d established a kind of Watchers Hogwarts, training Watchers by day and guiding Potential Slayers on field missions by night. He was happy, which was something she’d never really seen him be before. Their relationship had taken a hit in the last few years and while she wasn’t ready to forgive him for everything, she didn’t begrudge him his success. Her Watcher had floundered ever since he was fired, unable to find purpose while she and her friends had grown up around him. Seeing as she suddenly found herself in a similar position it was hard not to understand how he’d gone off track. Besides, she’d lost enough people to know she wasn’t going to lose anymore. She’d fix things with Giles, eventually. For now, she’d just settle for on the same continent and on polite speaking terms. 

Xander and Andrew led the Potential Identification and Retrieval Taskforce. They came up with the name. Obviously. They spent their days traveling the world, chasing down leads and giving their best “join team save the world” sales pitch to scared and angry girls.

Buffy smiled thinking about them. The last time they’d video chatted, Xander had looked better than she’d seen him in years. He’d lost the chip on his shoulder that he’d been carrying since they graduated high school. For the first time in his life he was the best person for the job, and he knew it. Trustworthiness and warmth radiated from him and his knowledge of tactics and the cost of the fight lent him an authenticity the girls were drawn to. He never bullshitted or misled them, but he did inspire them. Like he’d inspired all of the Scoobies over the years to keep on fighting.

The sun was starting to peak over the horizon, and a misty fog enveloped the graveyard. She knew she was dawdling but she couldn’t bring herself to rush home. The alarms would be ringing any second now, Potentials and Watchers scrambling to the mess hall for breakfast before a day of study and training.

Technically she didn’t have any classes to teach until the afternoon, but Giles liked the staff to be present in the morning. He said it communicated solidarity and responsibility. Personally, she thought Dawn had just made him watch the Harry Potter movies one too many times.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she let it go to voicemail. It was either Willow calling to say she had another hit on the Potential alert locator spell or Giles calling to ask where she was.

Either way it could wait.

She just wanted to be in the quiet for a little bit longer.

That’s what she missed the most about Spike. Having someone she could be in the quiet with. He had always seemed to know what she needed, anticipating her every mood and desire.

She’d never met anyone she could just be alone with before him. He never expected anything of her other than to just be. In this chaotic mess of a life she now led she craved his company and his silence. Since she couldn’t have that she came to the cemetery. The dead kept her company in a way the living never could. The occasional scuffle with a vampire didn’t hurt either. The familiar comfort of a stake in her pocket, grave dust on her shoes, her breath quickening for the thrill of the kill, reminding her that even though everything had changed, some things never would.

Her phone buzzed again.

She frowned, wondering why she couldn’t even get a few hours of peace before the sun was fully risen.

Flipping it open she saw two missed calls from a number she didn’t recognize. No voicemail.

It was probably someone trying to sell her something.

Technically her phone was spelled against telemarketers, but magic was fickle. If someone really needed to reach her, they would call the office and leave a message with her secretary.

God. How had she ended up here?

When they’d first arrived in London she’d panicked. Back in California it had seemed so clear. Get to London, find the Watchers, find the Potentials, save the world. Simple.

Except once they arrived there had been bureaucracy and red tape to get through. The surviving Watchers had needed convincing and playing nice with morons wasn’t Buffy’s strong suit. After one particularly eventful meeting that ended with some snide British dude’s head slamming into a wall Giles and Willow had pushed her to take a back seat on the negotiations. Much to everyone’s shock, she listened.

As soon as she stopped leading she felt a huge weight lift off her shoulders. Without meetings and planning sessions to fill her days she’d found herself wandering the streets of London with Dawn, playing tourist.

They were having high tea at this ridiculous spot with baby pink furniture and weird egg-shaped toilets when it hit her. She could walk away. The Hellmouth was gone, and there were more than enough Slayers to pick up the slack. Her friends would be disappointed but eventually they would understand. As she sat there watching Dawn sample pastries, no fear of imminent death getting in the way of her fun, Buffy couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like. This could be their every day.

They could finish out the summer backpacking through Europe then head home to America to finish school and settle down. She was pretty sure she’d heard somewhere that there were hardly any vampires in New Jersey.

She was so wrapped up in the fantasy that she almost missed what Dawn said as they were walking home to their flat.

“Sorry, what with the what now?”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “I said, it’s crazy how there’s this whole world out here and no one was helping keep it safe before.”

“Ummm excuse me, Slayer here, has saved the world, a lot. Even got a nice shiny headstone for my troubles.”

“Obviously but...you were always in Sunnydale. And sure, most of the big bad world endy guys ended up there too but...what about all the other regular level baddies hurting everyday people? I mean, look at them all.”

Dawn stopped and looked around, forcing Buffy to take it all in. The couples strolling along, groups of friends, kids in strollers. The street was flooded with people going about their day. As soon as that sun went down, they’d be joined by all the things that went bump in the night.

“I just think it’s kind of amazing what we’re about to do. For the first time we’ll be able to protect people all over the world. These people will have a chance like they’ve never had before. Like everyone in Sunnydale got because you were around. We can give that to them. I’m just...glad.”

Buffy’s heart warmed even as dreams of running away slipped from her grasp. Dawn was right. This was her calling. She’d find a way to live with it. Normalcy would never be available to her and the sooner she embraced that, the sooner she could start working towards happiness.

At least that’s what Willow was always saying.

Willow who saw a therapist three times a week and a substance abuse counselor twice a week.

After the battle she and Kennedy had parted ways. Their relationship had run its course and Kennedy wasn’t interested in staying on Team Scooby. Instead she took her slaying act on the road, traveling town to town looking for monsters to hunt and people to save. Occasionally she’d run into a Potential and send a heads up their way. She seemed happy. Everyone seemed happy. Buffy just couldn’t seem to find her groove.

Ironically, Willow was the only one to notice how out of sorts Buffy was. Maybe it was all the therapy or maybe it was just that she was more herself than she’d been in a long time, but Willow had become Buffy’s sole confidant these past few months. If she thought about it too much she knew she’d cry. It hadn’t occurred to her how much she’d missed her best friend until she got her back.

At first when Willow tried to reach out, Buffy had been cold and distant. Willow understood, even writing Buffy a letter to explain that she respected her need for distance after the way she had torched their friendship and Buffy’s trust. The letter had melted something in Buffy’s heart. It was the first time Willow had really acknowledged the fact that their sisterhood had been a casualty of Willow’s addiction.

The first time they sat down for coffee together felt like coming home. Willow seemed lighter, more like the girl Buffy had met her sophomore year of high school than the all-powerful Wicca she had come to know lately. She seemed shy, hesitant to take too much from Buffy, a reticence that allowed her to give more than she had intended to when she agreed to meet.

By their third coffee date it was clear that they were going to push through this. When a third turned into a fourth and fifth they decided to just make it a standing girl’s night. Every Tuesday for the rest of their lives.

Last Tuesday they’d finally broached the subject of Spike. Buffy had been dreading this, afraid to pick at the scab only to be met with judgment and condemnation. She wasn’t sure their renewed friendship could handle it. As much as she loved having Will back, Spike was a sensitive spot and she was afraid of how she’d react if Willow said something she didn’t like.

“Buffy, I tried to end the world. What’s a little bumpin of the uglies between former enemies compared to that? I am judgement free Willow of the no judgies zone.”

Willows face scrunched up like it did sometimes when she was trying to find the right words, her nose crinkling and her eyes rolling skyward.

“I just want you to be ok. And if that means loads of tasty mochas and squishy details about Spike sex, I am all ears. I’ve even got marshmallows.”

Buffy saw the sincerity on her friends face and felt something crack deep inside her. She’d been prepared for judgment at worst and stoic acceptance at best. Being met with such openness and warmth took her by surprise and she found she couldn’t hold back anymore. Her eyes welled up and before she could reign it in and full body sobs shook her.

As she cried, Willow rubbed her back and let her get it all out, careful to avoid pushing her to talk. It was exactly what she’d needed to be able to open up.

And open up she did. It was like the levies broke and all the confusion and hurt came pouring out. She told Willow about what happened in the Hellmouth. About her last days with Spike, how he supported her and strengthened her when no one else could, or would. This last part she said without any venom, all her anger and resentment at Willow long gone.

She even spoke about their last night together. How they’d made love in the basement, on that shitty cot. The first and only time they’d ever been truly intimate, Buffy’s walls fully down, her heart totally exposed.

“I know having sex with someone isn’t like, a big deal or anything. Especially when you’ve had sex as many times as we did.”

Buffy cringed as the words left her mouth. The familiar guilt over her physical affair with Spike flaring up.

“No!” Willow exclaimed.

“Buffy no. It is a big deal. It’s like, the biggest of deals. You and sex haven’t exactly had the most copacetic relationship, no offense.”

She smiled apologetically, eliciting a soft laugh from Buffy despite the anxiety that was clenching her gut.

“If you let yourself feel something good with Spike, even just that one time, it’s important. Special. You shouldn’t downplay that. He loved you and you let him show it to you. It’s romantic.”

At that Buffy really laughed.

“God Will. Spike. Romantic.”

Willow laughed too.

“You know...it’s not that weird. Remember when he kidnapped me and Xander? He wanted me to do a love spell for Drusilla. I think he’s always had a romantic streak. In a weird, murdery, vampire kinda way”

Buffy shook her head in amusement.

“Did I ever tell you Spike was a poet when he was human?”

Willows eye widened, and her hands flew to cover her cackling laugh.

“A poet? Oh my gosh. That’s...that’s too good.”

Buffy took a sip of her mocha, relishing the warm caffeinated goodness before adding, “he would kill me for telling you this but, the best part is the whole “William the Bloody” thing? That’s because he had a reputation for being such a terrible poet.”

At that Willow dissolved into full on giggles, hands clutching her stomach

“Ugggggh ok ok, I’m done laughing. Promise. Also why is that so cute? That’s so cute. Little Spike the poet.”

Buffy sighed. “The thing is Spike has this immense capacity for love. Even as a violent serial killer he was still driven by love. It scared me. That he was so willing to throw himself headfirst into love without a shadow of doubt. I’ve never...I’ve never been like that.”

She looked up at Willow, trying to read her reaction. The witch just nodded encouragingly for her to go on.

“I just...I told Giles once that I didn’t know if I could love. I was worried I was broken, like all the slaying made me cold and loveless or something.”

“Buffy, no,” Willow cut in, but Buffy held up a hand to stop her.

“I know it’s not true. I died to save Dawn, to save all of you, weeks after I said that.” Buffy’s eyes filled up again but this time she swallowed it down and wiped them clean.

“He really loved me Will. And I don’t know that I was in love with him but that last night we spent together...I kind of thought that I could be, someday. You know? I wanted him to know that. To know that there was a chance for us. I figured we’d have all the time in the world after...”

Buffy trailed off, suddenly tired. She didn’t need to explain the rest. How Spike had died, believing she’d never love him. How all the time she thought she’d have to figure out if she could evaporated in a burst of fire and ash.

—————————

She’d reached the cemetery gates just as the sun broke through the horizon. Her car was covered in dew, glistening in the hazy morning light.

She still couldn’t believe she had learned how to drive. And on the wrong side of the road! Her mom would die of shock if she were still around.

The thought of Joyce made her wistful. If only her mom could see her now. In her heart Buffy new her mom would be proud of the choices she’d made. She’d encourage her to let go of the past and focus on the future. She’d be overjoyed to know that Buffy had a future now. Sure, it still involved a massive amount of slayage but for the first time in a long time, the fate of the world didn’t rest solely on her shoulders. Her mom would tell her to embrace that and to live this new life to the fullest.

I’m trying mom.

Her phone buzzed again, and this time Buffy yanked it out in annoyance and flipped it open.

“What do you want?”

The silence on the other end only ticked her off more. If it was so important for someone to call her three times before she’d even had a cup of tea they could freaking respond when she finally picked up.

“Hello? I’m hanging up in three seconds if you don’t get all un-ghostface on me and just tell me what you want.”

She heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. Her annoyance bled to curiosity and she willed herself to be patient.

Infusing her voice with a level of calm she didn’t feel, she asked “Do you need help or something? I don’t know how you got this line if you’re not part of Scooby Central but…you got me.”

The silence eked on for seconds that felt like minutes before the caller sighed. Buffy’s pulse shot up, anticipation making her antsy. She shuffled from foot to foot, fighting her instinct to hang up. If this was a Potential calling for help she needed to wait it out.

Finally, a voice broke through the silence.

“Slayer?”

Buffy dropped the phone on the ground, her fingers losing the ability to function along with her brain, which had gone fuzzy and staticky at the sound of the all too familiar voice on the other end of the line.

She stared down at her phone, the call still connected, wondering if she had fallen asleep somehow.

A muffled “bloody hell” came out of the fallen phone, causing Buffy to gasp and jump back. She crouched down low, getting as close to the phone as she could without actually picking it back up.

“Shit. SHIT. Spike?”

The muttering and cursing stopped.

“Slayer…yea. It’s a long story. But yea.”

Buffy felt her limbs turn to jelly and she sat down on the cold gravel, her head falling into her hands. A sob bubbled up from her chest, turning into a laugh that she couldn’t control. She giggled for a solid minute before gingerly picking her phone up and pressing it to her ear.

“How? You better explain yourself right now.” Her voice was edged with steel, anxiety and adrenaline giving way to nervous anger. If this was someone’s idea of a sick joke she was going to get murdery.

She could almost hear Spike roll his eyes.

“Good god woman, can’t I come back to life without brassing you off?”

She bit her lip to stop a smile, not willing to let hope overrule a protective layer of skepticism.

Rocking back on her heels Buffy gulped down the crisp morning air, willing her body to calm down so she could take stock of the situation. Her dead ex sort of boyfriend was calling her…she looked at the phone number quickly…from LA. Ok. She could handle this. She was the Slayer, queen of things that go bump in the night and let’s face it, this wasn’t her first ex to come back from the great beyond. If Angel could do it…Angel.

“Spike, why are you calling me from LA?”

He sighed again and she could picture him rubbing the back of his neck, a grimace on his face as he debated the best way to tell her what was going on.

Despite the rush of anger, her heart warmed at the thought.

“Eh look, I said it was complicated. I just thought it was right. Telling you I was alive. Thought you should know is all.”

Whatever ice had melted in her heart immediately froze back up. No way was Spike going to call her from beyond the grave and then immediately get shady and secretive.

“So, is that your weird dodgy British way of saying you’re not going to tell me why you’re calling me from LA? Where Angel lives? Are you with Angel?”

She heard Spike mutter something to himself that sounded an awful lot like “bloody bint”. She rolled her eyes and stood up, pacing the lot in an attempt to keep her temper in check.

“Yea. Alright yea.”

His voice had changed, his accent becoming sharper, and she knew he was starting to get worked up.

“I’m in LA and I’m with Angel. If you want to talk to him you can damn well call him yourself. I don’t know what I was thinking. Bloke comes back as a sodding ghost, gets himself corporealized by a nice scientist bird and calls his girl up and she wants to know about Angel. Figures.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, not even bothering to interrupt his tirade. She knew he’d run out of steam eventually.

“Are you finished?”

Spike sighed again and Buffy felt the fight go out of her. She sat down on the hood of her car, overwhelmed by the emotions swirling within.

“Yea Slayer. I’m finished.”

Buffy’s shoulders slumped and she laid back, gazing up at the sky. It was going to be a cloudy day.

“How?”

“That’s the million-dollar question love. Seems no one can answer it.”

“Wait.” Buffy sat up; brow furrowed in concentration as she started to put together the various odd things Spike had said so far.

“You were a ghost?”

She tried to picture that. Spike all floaty and haunty. The image made her chuckle, which she quickly tried to suppress.

“Yea, yea, yea, laugh it up. I don’t know if I was a ghost. I was a something. Couldn’t touch, couldn’t feel. Just trapped at bloody Wolfram & Hart with your beloved Prince of Brooding.”

“Wolf ram and what now?”

“It doesn’t matter. Done what I set to do. You know. Guess I’ll let you get back to it then.”

Buffy felt white hot anger burning in her chest. Did he really think he was going to call her up, say hey, and then leave? Maybe forever? Who did he think he was?

“Fine,” she spat out.

“Fine,” came Spike’s huffy reply.

They’d reached a stalemate and Buffy did the only thing she could think of doing.

She hung up.

She stuffed the phone in her pocket, unlocking the car door and sliding into the front seat. She stared out the frosted windshield for a moment before screaming at the top of her lungs. When that didn’t calm the storm she felt brewing inside she slammed her hands repeatedly into the steering wheel. The metal and leather began to crunch and warp under the weight of her blows but she didn’t care. She felt like someone had set her insides on fire. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t cry, couldn’t do anything but scream and rage into the void.

Eventually she ran out of steam. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed but her throat was raw. Rubbing her face she switched into Slayer mode. Something was up and she was going to get to the bottom of it. Cagey Spike and his caginess be damned.

She forwarded the number he’d called her from to Willow and Andrew. Between the two of them they’d be able to trace it and dig up some dirt on where Spike was. As for how he got there, she was going to need boots on the ground. Luckily Kennedy had last checked in from Arizona a couple of days ago. She couldn’t be far from there and she owed Buffy more than one favor. She might not be Spike’s biggest fan, but she would do some recon and get Buffy the answers she needed. Once she knew what was going on, she could show up in LA and punch Spike and Angel in the face herself.

Buffy felt calmer. She had a plan. It wasn’t perfect but it was a start.

She’d let Spike get away once before. This time would be different. She didn’t know why or how but it seemed the Powers That Be had given her a second chance.

She wouldn’t waste it.

—end—

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Max and Eugene in Peril on the High Seas

So we have another obligatory animal focused episode. This one fairs much better than Max’s Enemy and King Pascal; but it’s still ultimately useless filler. 

Summary: Rapunzel and the group are finally leaving Tirapai Island when the cargo ferry arrives, but Eugene and Maximus get into an argument, resulting in them falling overboard. They manage to save themselves on a passing ship, but discover it to be a prison ship where all the criminals, including the Stabbington Brothers, Lady Caine and Axel have escaped and taken control. Eugene and Maximus attempt to escape, but discover the villains' plot to ambush the cargo ferry and set out to stop them. Meanwhile, Rapunzel and the group discover Eugene and Maximus are missing and set out to rescue them.

There’s No Ticking Clock In Season Two and That’s to the Series’s Detriment 

So we’re finally leaving the island and this bit of dialogue tells us that they were on said island for at least six weeks. Which matters not in the slightest in the grand scheme of things; which is the problem. 

In addition to there being no outside threat forcing Rapunzel on this journey, there’s also nothing that’s forcing her to hurry up. So we’re doubly lacking in tension. There are no stakes in season two so things feel over long, and arcs that have the heroes stay in one place for more than two episodes at time stop the momentum of the series dead; leading to tedium for the viewers. 

We Didn’t Need King Pascal Just to Set Up the Firefly

The firefly is one of the few elements in the show that has proper set up and resolve. It’s established as the threat in one episode and then used as the solution in this episode. However both episodes are utterly useless in the over all arc so, while clever, it’s a wasted idea. It’s also unneeded since this intro exposition re-explains what the firefly is and what it’s deal is in case people missed out on King Pascal anyways. 

The Reason Why this Max Focus Episode Works, but Not Max’s Enemy, is Because It’s a Double Act

The problem with the mandated animal themed episodes every season is that Max and Pascal aren’t strong enough characters to work by themselves. They’re sidekicks; they’re designed to play off other characters. The writers seemed to clue in on this by making this episode and Max’s episode in season three, team up episodes. So now today’s episode becomes a Eugene focused episode too. Which in turn allows for their character dynamic to be fleshed out more. 

We needed more interesting combinations of the mains in episodes like this one in order for the group to feel like a group. We also desperately needed to do something similar for Pascal instead of just rehashing the same plot for him over and over again. 

This Plot Point Makes No Sense

When I first saw this episode, I thought it was foreshadowing later developments for season three, seeing how it’s one of the few episodes in season two that connects back to season one. However, once you know the events of season three, this episode no longer makes logical sense within the greater narrative. 

For you see, Andrew and Varian have teamed up to take over Corona at the beginning of season three. Yet that begs the question of why didn’t Frederic ship them away on the prison barge as well. Varian you might could excuse being missing here given his age, but Andrew? There’s no reason to keep Andrew around; none that is given on screen anyways. 

Also this mutiny couldn’t have taken place after the Saporian take over either. For starters all the guards retreated from Corona entirely when it became evident that the Saporians were in charge. That’s a stated plot point in Rapunzel’s Return to explain why Cap is missing. There wouldn’t have been a need for a mutiny if Andrew just let all the criminals go and there’d be no reason why Andrew would send them away using his own guards. The Saporians are small in numbers and that would be a waste of manpower. 

Also, because the Saporians are outnumbered, it doesn’t make sense to send away potential allies. Lady Caine has more logical motivation to join Andrew in his take over than Varian does. She just wants revenge on Frederic and riches. She cares nothing about ruling a kingdom and holds no qualms about hurting others; so she’d be the perfect partner for Andrew’s plans. Add in the fact that she has a whole gang/small army of criminals under her command, and she could have brought along some much needed manpower. 

Lady Caine is Wasted!!!

Speaking of Lady Caine, this is her final appearance in the show. Introduced in the pilot as an important character, yet given only three episodes and shoved out of the picture before the final season. And they didn’t even bother to bring up her original motivations or goals in any of her return appearances. 

Chris mentioned in interviews about how he wanted to ‘defy audience perception’ and so pulled a bunch of bait and switches in the writing; but this isn’t that. This is just straight up lazy writing. There’s nothing clever about introducing a character as being important and then not using them. It’s a frustrating waste of time and a waste of a concept; not a surprising ‘gotcha’ for the audience. 

Proper set up and resolve exists in storytelling in order to get your audience invested in what is happening and then give them a satisfying pay out for their continued involvement. Modern television writers have gotten so caught up in ‘shocking’ twists that they forgot the importance of giving satisfying endings to their audience. Because if the audience isn’t satisfied they will walk away. Hooks alone are not enough to keep them around as evidenced by the series ratings drop. 

Also, Why is Weasel Here?

I once suggested that this episode would make more sense if Max’s Enemy came before One Angry Princess in season one. Implying that Caine and the gang were sent away before Andrew’s arrest. This idea flies out the window with Anthony the Weasel here. He was last seen running away at the end of The Return of Quaid. How the hell did he wind up here? 

He had to have been arrested, put on trial, and then shipped away with the other criminals in between TRoQ and PotHS. Which just raises a whole bunch of other questions.   

How much time has passed between then and now?

What did Weasel do to get caught in Corona?

Why did it take so long to ship Caine and her gang out when it was just a matter of days for Attila to be banished? 

Why wasn’t she put on that same barge Attila was going to be put on?

If there was enough time to ship Attila and the Weasel out then there was plenty of time to ship Andrew and Varian, so why are they still in Corona?

Why is there even a prison barge to begin with? Are they just that stripped for room and man power in Corona’s dungeons?

Where does the prison barge actually go to? Does Corona own a prison island or do they have a deal with another kingdom? What is the world building behind this plot point? 

Also where the heck did Dwayne go? 

You Need Villains 

In the end it doesn’t matter. This is just a lame excuse to get rid of all of the season one villians besides the Stabbingtons. Which only stick around because they’re movie originals and need to reappear and be redeemed before the wedding short; otherwise they’d be gone too. 

Which is the dumbest idea ever! Season two and even the first half of season three is devoid of any main antagonists so why are we getting rid of anyone who could potentially fulfill that role? Who’s stupid idea was this? What were they smoking? This goes against basic writing 101. There’s no story if there’s no conflict! 

Eugene Has a Point

Like there are reasons why law enforcement aren’t on call 24/7 and there are also reasons why different territories have different jurisdictions. Not complying to that undermines law and order, not upholds it.

If a police officer from the US could arrest people while on vacation in Spain, it’d be a political nightmare. Even extrication of wanted criminals who seek refuge in other countries requires permission and cooperation from those countries governments or you’d be violating international law; which potentially could be seen as an act of war. 

Also you would still send in people who are actually on duty. Right now there are protests in my country regarding the lack of accountability police officers have. Plenty of cops break the law both on and off duty because they know they can get away with because of the nepotism within the force.  Max pulling out a guide book that essentially gives Corona’s guards permission to ‘enact justice as they see fit’ while even off duty is clear case of an abuse of power, and futhers the narrative that Corona is a dictatorship/police state that persecutes it’s most vulnerable citizens. 

The fact that the narrative then rewards this line of thought by placing Max in the right on this is just another check off in the long list of promoting authoritarian beliefs that this series teaches. People with power are held to different standards then those without. That’s just a fact of life. Having Eugene or Max acknowledge that this does break the law but is still right thing to do would be far better message and give the characters more complexity. 

Who gets to decide what is ‘bad’ here? What is this ‘something’ they are meant to do? This rule is a gateway for corruption because it’s not clearly defined and relies too heavily on the idea that guards are naturally ‘honorable’ and good and not, you know, people. 

There’s a saying in law school. Nothing is simple and fair. If it’s simple then it’s not fair; and if it's fair then its not simple. 

Laws are complex because life is complex, people are complex, and not everything applies the same way because situations are different. That’s why we have courts. And yes, sometimes there’s too much discrepancy in sentences, leading to some people being harshly over punished while others get away with little more than a slap on the hand; but having things the other way around would still cause such discrepancy as not everyone’s experiences are equal to begin with. 

And before you say I’m reading too much into a kids show, this is a conflict that the episode itself has decided to introduce. If you wanted a simple message about doing the right thing than ‘the law’ should not have been brought up at all. Because laws are not simple, they are not universal, and they are not infallible. If the writers thought this idea too complex for their audience then they shouldn’t have introduced the idea. 

It's better to not bring up deeper subject matter at all than to introduce it and then not address it properly.  

Oh, and We Get Confirmation that Corona Speaks English, for Some Reason... 

This was also hinted at this in the supplement book, My First Year As A Princess; which was suppose to replica of Rapunzel’s Diary in the show, though it’s sverealy been paired down from the original concept. 

Anyways, it’s pretty much canon that everyone is indeed speaking English on screen, even though there’s no logical reason for this. Chalk it up to yet more lazy world building. 

Corona is never hinted to being a replacement for England itself. The few hints we get to it’s placement on the world map suggests it’s on the main continent of Europe and is a peninsula. Other real world languages like, French, Italian, and German are confirmed to exist, with Italy at least being a real location in this world. 

Also we spend this whole season traveling to other kingdoms. So why would everyone speak English? This is before British and American imperialism, and before the internet, so English wouldn’t be a default secondary language for the many countries that it is today. So how does this work? 

Once again, if traveling the world is a big plot point of your story then you need to determinate where and how your main protagonist fits into that world. If they’re a princess of a kingdom then we need to know where that kingdom is in relation to the surrounding places we visit or discuss.  

Axel is Still Useless

Max didn’t need a rival. This character adds nothing to the over all story and is one villain/character too many in an already overstuffed series. I don’t mind the idea of pairing down some of the minions and other background characters. I just take issue with getting rid of all of the villains. Particularly interesting ones that could have done more, like Weasel or Lady Caine. 

The Very Existence of Lady Caine Undermines Both Rapunzel’s and Cassandra’s Arcs

So the series wants to present this idea that Rapunzel is compassionate and is all about giving second chances, yet Caine, one of the most sympathetic villains in the show next to Varian, is given zero chance at all. The show is too busy trying to make Rapunzel look ‘bad ass’ by easily taking down an seemingly equal badass female villain, that doesn’t stop to think about the implications of this conflict. 

The series fails because the only people Rapunzel redeems are people that she needs something from. She needs Styalan to gain the Eye of Pincosta. She needs Varian to help defeat the Saporians and ease her bruised ego. She needs Cassandra because she’s her best friend and it hurts her personally for them to no longer be friends. None of the redemptions in the show are actually about the characters who are redeeming themselves, it’s about their effect on Rapunzel’s personal life. 

But placing Rapunzel’s personal feelings above what other characters actually need is the opposite of compassion. It’s selfishness. It doesn’t make Rapunzel the focus of the story it just makes her look like an ass. 

Moreover Lady Caine’s arc is directly tied to Corona’s corrupt legal system. Rapunzel can’t be this purveyor of change if she and the show never acknowledges why the system must change to begin with. 

Last off, Cassandra’s arc is then diminished by the existence of more sympathetic villains like Caine and Varian. They have more reason to do the things they do, and their actions connect back to their goals. Cass doing worst things for less reason, and then getting away with less punishment than them, is a slap in the face to the viewers. It turns her from a likeable character to an unbearable twat, and makes her later redemption a product of nepotism rather than act of agency on her part. 

Everyone is ill served by writing Caine out and not giving her a conclusion to her personal conflict. Rapunzel, Cassandra, Frederic, and Lady Caine herself are all denied a chance to grow as characters and that’s infuriating to watch. 

Also Yes, This Episode was a Big Missed Opportunity to Add Urgency to the Plot

As previously mentioned, season two needed an ongoing external conflict. Anyone of the villains on the ship could have been the main antagonist of the second half of the season. Just have the person in question escape in the confusion, or overthrow the new crew of the ship a second time. Then have them show up later looking for a fight. 

My money is on Lady Caine, but the Stabbingtons or Weasel could have done just a well. Caine wants revenge on Rapunzel. The Stabbingtons are after Eugene. Weasel wants power and riches, so capturing the princess and holding her for ransom could have been a goal. Then have them learn about this hidden power then voila you gotta a set up for a race to the end of the quest.  

You also could just picked an underling at random and then elevated them to main villain by giving them a good goal and a backstory. 

Also finally, Andrew and/or Varian, we’re options that they could have added in here. Varian more so than anybody else as he already has reason to go after the moonstone because his father. 

Heck, you still could have added Varian and not made him the villain if you didn’t want to. This could have been the start of his redemption arc instead, and one of the previously mentioned villains,a Brotherhood member, or one of Zhan Tiri’s Disciples could have still served as the main antagonist. 

In short, most of the problems with Tangled’s story are really easy fixes and the writers had multiple options at their disposal that they didn’t take. Which is just further evidence to last minute rewrites and Chris and Ben’s missamangment. 

Conclusion    

I enjoy this episode because it’s one of the few to tie back into season one, but it’s is a missed opportunity and it is a shame that it went nowhere. 

[mysticdoodles]

Powerful lines from Spinel that hit harder the more you watch

So I’m sure this has probably been done already BUT I’ve been having too many feelings about this movie and especially about this precious new gem so I absolutely have to gush. After watching the movie the first time through, there’s a lot of double meanings to Spinel’s lines that really make her come to life. Obviously this won’t include everything because then I might as well just link the entire dang movie. These lines are the ones that I’ve just found myself thinking about more and more as the days go by since my first watching of the film.

Spoiler alert, most of these are going to be coming from Other Friends (but that’s no big surprise).

!!-SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE YET-!!

1. “I’ve got a new style, and a few new TOYS.”

Spinel’s introduction is very well framed in a lot of ways, with her slamming down on the injector and backlit by the pink poison glow, but the dialogue is what really hit me. With the context that Pink Diamond abandoned her because Pink eventually grew bored and tired of Spinel, this line in particular struck me as very pointed. Coupled with the slam of her palm against the giant instrument of death, it speaks volumes about how Pink Diamond saw the things that she valued as hers, as well as how Spinel sees herself. Pink had tossed her aside like an unwanted doll - now SHE gets to be the one with fancy new toys, tossing aside her old self just like Pink did.

2. “Yeah yeah, I’ve heard. I’ve had your little message to the universe ON LOOP!”

Pretty blatant in context, but the more you think about it, the sadder it gets. Spinel stood in the garden for six millennia, loyal and faithful to Pink all along, praying she’d return. Instead, all Spinel gets in response is some happy message to the universe from a galaxy-wide intercom that tells her Pink Diamond lived a happy life without her. That everything else was so much better for Pink with her forgotten. That Pink made new friends. Hearing this broke her heart, and traumatized her. Yet she listened over and over to the same message - hoping it would change? Trying to deny it, and see if it wasn’t true? She had the fulfilling relationship she was denied shoved in her face over and over, until she finally gets angry enough to go vent her fury.

3. “[...] where Pink Diamond spends the rest of her days on this NOWHERE PLANET, with a bunch- of- NOBODIES!”

Pink had her own private garden; built just for her, as we know the other diamonds have no taste at all in preserving or keeping organic life. And in the efforts of the Diamond Authority to keep Pink happy, they also gave her Spinel, a gem specifically designed to be a top-of-the-line Best Friend.

And yet despite all of Spinel’s quirky and goofy nature, she was never enough for Pink. The garden, for all its beauty and catering to Pink’s desires, was never enough either. Pink traded her personal playground and ultimate playmate for a planet that was doomed to be colonized and destroyed, and for a- as she puts it- “menagerie” of gems that aren’t particularly special at all. An ‘overcooked’ Amethyst soldier, a Pearl created to be a servant rather than a friend, and a fusion that by Diamond law had been outlawed in Spinel’s time. Spinel was left in her special garden to rot, in exchange for what she views as nothing but a downgrade.

4. “What did she say about me, what did she say? What did you do without me, what did you do? Did you play games without me, what did you play? Did you think all this time that I wouldn’t find out about you?”

These are all the things that ran through Spinel’s head after finding out she’d been left behind for good. That surely Pink Diamond gossiped to her brand new friends about the one she left behind. That surely Pink included her brand new friends in every game she wanted to play that Spinel couldn’t be a part of. That surely everyone involved with Pink Diamond MUST have known about her, and chose to leave her behind. It’s her rationalization for her actions - her excuse to beat on complete strangers for the actions of one person that ruined her life.

5. “Who am I? Who am I?? What are you even saying?”

This is the moment where it hits home for Spinel - that Pink didn’t even talk to other gems about her. Spinel was so unimportant to Pink that she never even crossed her mind or came up in conversation. You can see the moment where shock takes over, and is bulldozed by even greater rage.

All those years, all that waiting, and Pink never once intended on returning, or even so much as acknowledge the existence of her previous ““best friend.””

6. “I’m the loser of the game you didn’t know you were playing!”

Aside from being probably my favorite line in the whole song, this one stuck with me for a good while. It took me until approx. the 54th loop of Other Friends to realize Spinel is being completely literal as well as metaphorical. The reason she stayed in the garden was because- to her- she WAS playing a game with Pink! A game that, by the shallow rules Pink herself set, Spinel has lost. Spinel broke the rules and moved from where Pink told her to stay, and Steven is, for all intents and purposes, what remains of Pink Diamond. He really didn’t know of this false game, none of the Crystal Gems did.

But this hit even harder in the emotional sense - Spinel lost the game long before she moved from her spot in the garden. She lost the minute Pink decided Spinel was better off forgotten on a rock in space than by her side, because her loyalty was wasted on Pink. In Spinel’s steadfast adoration of Pink, she never realized the truth until it was far too late, and she feels all the more foolish for it.

7. “Let’s play another game, this time I get to win! Lives on the line- winner takes all- ready or not, let’s BEGIN!”

Not only is this Spinel’s statement that she’s taking control back by FORCE - that SHE is now the one who gets to pick the games, and as a result, affect the lives of those she “plays” with (just like Pink) - but it’s also a very subtle admission of how this feels. Deep down in the depths of her mind, this isn’t just a mission to cause hurt in turn for the hurt she received, but also a potential suicide mission.

Sure, she might have a good chance of killing ALL of Pink Diamond’s precious new besties; with her fancy new “toys” of a jumbo-sized colony injector full of poison and a factory-reset device for gems, she stands to take out quite a few important Crystal Gems AND the Earth that stole Pink from her, before finishing what she started. But Spinel also acknowledges later in the film that Steven is respected as a legendary savior of the galaxy. She’s playing hardball with powerful figures, and she knows it. That’s WHY she went the extra effort to get such strong equipment before even showing up to the party - Steven and the Crystal Gems were a legitimate threat, who could have easily defeated or even shattered her. And for Spinel, who waited for thousands of years in what I can only describe as emotional torture in solitary confinement, shattering would be preferable to her than one more second of living in that torment.

8. “[We’re going] back, to where I never left.”

Physically leaving the garden never made her problems go away, like how Pink seemed to do with everything she grew bored of. Despite being on Earth, in this ‘new place to play’ and surrounded by gems she’d never met that she could make friends with, even Rejuvenated to be back to how she was supposed to be right out of the kindergarten, she can’t escape the damage done by Pink abandoning her. She’s unable to find happiness yet, haunted by Pink’s actions and decision to discard her. In Spinel’s mind, she’s standing in that garden. Still waiting for Pink. Still waiting for someone, anyone, to come and be her friend.

9. “I don’t want to play anymore.”

This has stopped being a game for Spinel. Attacking and hurting the people she blames for her life being ruined is no longer fun, and doesn’t make her feel better anymore. She’s losing whatever twisted enjoyment she was getting from the one small goal she set for herself to keep moving forward - revenge. So from this point onward, she’s determined to finish things - that maybe actually doing the deed and being done with it would finally make the pain go away.

10. “Why do I want to hurt you so badly? I’m supposed to be your friend... I just want to be your friend...”

Striking out from her anger and pain, Spinel finally recognizes that harming others isn’t going to change how she feels. The pain isn’t disappearing. She’s falling farther and farther from what she truly wants to be. In her heart, she DOESN’T want to harm others, and realizes that she’s lost control of herself and her actions.

And it’s her final plea to Pink Diamond, who she can never get back. That’s all she ever wanted from Pink, and in the end, was it really that much to ask?

[hellomynudebrain]

Paths (Jumin X reader) Part#24 Final chapter

Hello, nurses! Finally, it took me ages, but the final chapter is here! Yay!

Thank you for the nurses who read this story. I couldn’t finish it earlier because lots of thing happened between. My job, my chores, some family problems, a lapsus of depression and more. I don’t want to give more details about it, but we did it. We finished this journey together. 

Enjoy the last chapter! 

Since the proposal in the party, the efforts of Eve, Jumin and May to control the media were a little bit wasted. Because between the guests you invited were celebrities which atrack paparazzis and  the media. The scandal was inevitable, but not all the efforts were wasted, because most of the tittles on the magazines, tabloids and gossip programs where "The misterious cinderella of the C&R prince" 

Most of the articules only focus on the proposal night and Jumin, they wrote just a few data, like your workplace and that you were foreigner, nothing else. Your workplace became a mess, your boss saw you like a potential client and started to treat you as a V.I.P. worker which you hate. Some people began to talk behind your back, more than before, but you knew how to deal with that and more. The ban of sharing the bed was still on the table. 

You could spend the rest of the afternoon watching a movie on the private theatre or spending the evening reading next to Jumin, but when was the time to go to bed, he ran and locked his bedroom. 

With the pass of the months, the news about your engagement were banished and the gossip about you and Jumin in magazines, tv programs and tabloids limited to only an article or none, problably  "The triple alliance" , that's how you refer to Jumin, Eve and May, had to do with it.

The wedding was organized by  Jaehee, Eve and Ali, except for MC, because her pregnancy was really advanced. However, they were really excited about it. The RFA's  girls  felt in debt with you since the party. You became their good friend. 

The day of the wedding has been prepared, the dress, the reception, the groom, the security was prepared by Eve, Zen was the singer of your wedding.

Inside the rooms of a church,you were in front of a mirror, wearing a replica from the wedding you burnt in Jumin's villa, your hair style was a vintage one, the make up was light but you had red liptick to make it more dramatic. 

You felt divine. 

A pair of eyes peep from the door behind you, it was Jumin in a white tuxedo, elegant and handsome. You couldn't belive he was about to become your husband.

"Love, you look beautiful."

You blushed with his remark while he looked at you with mesmerised eyes, but that day was not full of sweets and marshmallow, because someone was behind Jumin's back. 

A hair color you knew better than anyone, those pair of eyes which made you cry, that smile which you dreamed to see again. It was Jihyun.

"Love, I know he's the last person you want to see this day, but he wants to talk with you." 

The person you cried until you fell asleep was in front of you, as if nothing had happened. He entered in the room, like he was an outsider in all of this, you were angry, but even so, you had to talk with him.

"Yes, sure"

Jumin felt like the world tumbled with your answer, he felt that if he left you alone with Jihyun. He'll never see you again, but he could see in your eyes, your real feelings, so he calmed himself and left the room.

"...Hey! Hi!" Jihyun spoke first to you in an awkard manner.

"...yeah...Hi! How have you been?!"

"Fine, thank you for asking....Wow, this is a wedding...hehehe..."

"Yeah...How it's your wife?"

"Oh!...She's good, she's been improving a lot, we are moving in a few days to Alaska"

"That's great!"

You felt how awkard the air was inside the room. However, this was your opportunity to say good bye to the person who was a big part of your life, and finally wish him luck.

"Hey, do you want to take a seat?" You asked him politely.

"Yes, sure.."

"Jihyun look..." You mumbled.

"Why don't we escape from this wedding and live together in far away place?" He asked out of nowhere. 

"What?...No! Wait, I don't want to go back with you. You have a wife that you chose to be with and I'm going to marry your best friend who I love with all my heart!"

"...Ah, yes...you're right..."

"Yes!"

"I love you, tho. No matter who you are the rest of your life and no matter who I'm going to be the rest of my life. I will always love you" He spoke desperately.

"Jihyun *sign*... I'm going to tell you this once and only once. So listen, I loved you, more than anyone I have ever loved in my life, but you hurted me like anyone ever have done in my life. Our relationship was one of the best things that happened in my life, but also the most painful one. You chose the guilt over love, I chose love. I wish you the best  luck and be happy!" 

Your eyes were watering when you said those words to Jihyun, he was crying. He finally could see you in a wedding dress, but the groom wasn't him. You were his soulmate, but you found the love of your life. 

"Maybe in our next life, we can be together, but you're right. I chose and you chose. We took different paths. I wish you luck on your married life and here, this is my wedding gift for you..."

He grabbed your hand and gave you a portrait of Jumin when he was a child. 

"Thank you, Jumin didn't let me see his old photos!" You smiled with an special shine. 

Jihyun could only see how bright you looked when you saw the portrait of the man of your life. Lastly, with regret and sadness in his heart, he leaned toward you and gave you a kiss on your forehead. 

"I love you, have a good life. Good bye." 

And with that, Jihyun turned his back and left the room. Jumin was outside of the room, he felt insecure, but at the same time he had his trust in you, and he was right when he saw Jihyun leaving the room with some tears in his eyes. He felt bad for his friend but also relief. Jumin rushed where Jihyun was. 

"V... I mean Jihyun..."

"Make her happy, Jumin..."

"Yes, I will...where are you going?"

"I'm going back  to Jeju island and take Rika with me to Alaska."

"Wait, today?! I thought you will take the flight in a few days..."

"Yes, I don't have the strenght to bear with all of this. It's better if I go"

"Jyhyun...I...I'm sorry..." Jumin said in a apologetic voice. 

"Jumin, we are going to be fine. Now go with her, she's waiting for you"

"Yes...go to the back gate, that way the other members won't see you."

"Yeah, thank you, Jumin"

They hugged like brothers who would never see each other again and parted ways.

Finally, after all the drama on the back, the ceremony was taking place. 

You were in the entrance of the church holding Jumin's arm walkig slowly but firm to the altar. 

Once in front of the altar, Jumin and you gave your wedding vows, exchange rings and sign your marriage with a kiss. 

The reception was fun and chaotic. Yoosung took the opportunity to proposed to Ali in the middle of the dance floor. Ali rejected him, but only because Yoosung had to travel to Ali's country and ask her hand to her dad, after that she plans to say yes. 

Saeran and Jaehee plan to have a trip together and asked Jumin permission on the wedding, he didn't had any other option than agreed. That was Saeran's plan. 

And to end your night, MC entered in labour when Zen was in the middle of his performance. 

All of you had to rush the the nearest hospital. So Jumin came out with the idea of taking MC in the wedding limo he prepared for the wedding. 

"Come on, Saeyoung! Get in the car! Driver Kim, take us to the hospital!" Jumin yelled.

"OH GOD, PLEASE KILL ME!" MC screamed in pain.

"MC please bear with the pain, we are taking you to the hospital!" Saeyoung spoke with fear.

"Yes...You're going to be a dad, Saeyoung..." 

"YES! I'M GOING TO BE A DAD AND MY BROTHER AN UNCLE!"

"Yes, I heard you, stupid brother. Now take my sis to the hospital" Saeran answered annoyed.

"Saeran!" Jaehee screamed to Saeran.

"Eve wenny, my performance was ruined!"Zen spoke with dissapoinment.

"Don't worry Zenny, it worth since we are going to be uncle and aunt!" Eve tried to cheer him up.

"MC, Do you want sugar?" Yoosung asked innocently.

"YOOSUNG! I'M NOT A COW"

"Yoosy, don't worry. We cacth the on the hospital. Let's go" Ali encouraged Yoosung.

MC, Saeyoung and you get inside the limo and driver Kim drove all the way to the hospital. 

The doctors and nurses recived MC and take her to the labour ward. 

The other members were on their way to the hospital, while Saeyoung was inside with MC.

You and Jumin were on the waiting room, helding hands. Your head on his shoulder. 

"Happy wedding day, wife!"

"Hahaha. Happy wedding day, husband.From here on, what do you think is awaiting to us?"

"I don't know...but anything is fine, if you are with me..."

Both of you shared a kiss and from here on, the hapiness was your only path.

                                                          The End

[la-paritalienne]

Eve!!!! Need your thoughts about Taylor's album!!!! 💓💓💓💓💓💓

i love getting asked :”(((((( :”))))))) thank uuuuuuuu. let’s get to it. as usual, it’s an almost-first impression (normally i write my basic thoughts during the first listen – yeah i’d started doing it before getting this, you know, just in case – and then i review them w a second one, where i also select my favourite passage). sooo, let’s go

♡♡♡♡

the 1 — such sweet yet heartbreaking lyrics... very soft sound, if it sets the mood for the album im 100 per cent in! This one didn’t stick w me after one listen, but after the second i was like wooow! I love how she says waking up alone ughhh. 8

fave lyrics: persist and resist the temptation to ask you / if one thing had been different / would everything be different today?

cardigan — !!!!!!! the sound has that bittersweet something that gets under your skin and makes you nostalgic for something you can’t even pinpoint. it reminds me of the softest lana, especially in nfr (eg bartender!!). i’m in awe. instant obsession!!!! the ending takes you to another plane of existence – ‘cause i knew everything when i was young... i knew you’d miss me... you’d come back to me. also i’m crying. 10+

[it’s hard to choose bc the whole song reads like poetry but i’m especially obsessed w] giving me your weekends; once in twenty lifetimes; tried to change the ending / peter losing wendy; you drew stars around my scars

the last great american dynasty — storytelling on pointttt and sound, too! telling the story of someone she bought her house from?? the genius jumped out. she paints it like a romantic portrait, mad woman pacing on the shore, but then also gatsbian, the crazy parties, dali... and then takes it back to today w the key lime green dog, idk, iconic. i want to know this woman. this song truly takes you somewhere else, i thought it was a bit repetitive but then the bridge came in and the final vocals plus i had a marvelous time ruining everything, i have to stan! 8+

there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / she had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile — ok wow, bon iver’s voice is something else!!!! i was kind of ignorant when it came to him, i admit. his depth and rasp paired with how angelic she sounds... heavenly. sound-wise, but also thematically, this vaguely reminds me of tomorrow never came w lana and sean ono lennon. (one of my fave songs of all time maybe?). the way they enunciate i think i’ve seen this film before is literally a work of art all in itself, not to mention – well i’m mentioning it bc it’s worth it! – the you never gave a warning sign vs the way she goes over it w i gave so many signs. god this makes me feel sooooo sad and like, involved. it’s so beautiful. 10

you’re not my homeland anymore / so what am i defending now?

my tears ricochet — ok wtfffff??? everything about this speaks to my soul. the airy voice, the way she sets the scene... sunlit room, the funeral metaphor, you turned into your worst fears. i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace speaks to me more than anything, but just, everything about the lyrics. truly something else, cursing my name / wishing i stayed gives me chills everytime she says it. the beat that gets more insistent towards the end, with the bridge....... the high notes that then fade..... just wow. 10

and i can go anywhere i want / anywhere i want, just not home / and you can aim for my heart, go for blood / but you would still miss me in your bones / and i still talk to you when i’m screaming at the sky / and when you can’t sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies

mirrorball — love the lyrics, maybe a bit less the sound? i mean i do love the sound, so far i’m loving how softly produced and coherent this album is, but this one i wouldn’t listen to on repeat and maybe there’s something a bit whiny that i don’t love. powerful meaning tho, and who’d use a mirrorball as a metaphor for feeling like you’re fragile, trying too hard to be a people-pleaser and no one sees the real you? 7

i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me

seven — ah........ i started crying as soon as this one started, pleeease picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven....... like ok there’s no need to go that hard??? it’s so dreamy and like... naïf? in a perfect way. the way she says i still got love for you...... and everything else... she mentions folk songs... the purest love described in the purest way. i don’t think i have enough words to descrive the way this song moves me. like i want to listen to it again and again, to be able to feel like that again, but also i’m almost scared to listen bc it touches me too deeply. i still will tho hehe. 10+ (also just realised this is track 7 ok makes sense but my mind is blown. 100)

[this is literally deeper than a shakespeare sonnet so everything literally is my fave but, having to choose] and i’ve been meaning to tell you / i think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why / and i think you should come live with me / and we can be pirates / then you won’t have to cry / or hide in the closet / and just like a folk song / our love will be passed on

august — i love the contrast between the lighthearted, happy singing and guitars and the sad lyrics. the story it tells is so simple and yet there’s so much poetry in that... plus it reminds me of fearless or even speak now?? which are like. the taylor that gets to my heart, tbh. the bridge and the outro made the song for me. 8,5

for me, it was enough / to live for the hope of it all / canceled plans just in case you’d call

this is me trying — oh god... lyrically this song is so raw and honest, it gives me chills! i do have to say, i don’t love how she says i just wanted to know (like metrically?? idk, im weird) but these are really just small comments on amazing songs, bc i feel like all i’m saying is wow this is great, lyrics and sound, but it truly is a complete and consistent work of art, easily listened to top to bottom each time. 8-

they told me all of my cages were mental / so got wasted like all my potential / and my words shoot to kill when i’m mad / i have a lot of regrets about that

illicit affairs — ok this goes without saying but i love storyteller taylor, it’s the taylor i grew up loving and singing to in my room. the thing about most of these songs, this one included, is that they probably grow on you after a few listens, bc they’re not made to be catchy, the production and backgrounds are always very soft and some i love more than others. this one musically maybe isn’t my fave but the narration is on point, and the bridge?? the fuckkkk. plus it has one of mt favourite themes ever which is so rarely spoken about, which is the fact that language you only speak w a particular someone you love, makes you miss them even more when they’re gone. or well not exactly this but i can’t put it into words, she did tho. 8+

you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else / and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times

invisible string — the color theme!!! the guitar strumming!!! and the idea of an invisible tie w someone special... i do think she outdid herself w this album. again, not my fave soundwise, maybe slightly whiny when she goes meEeeEee? but, lyrically adorable and moving. 7,5

one single thread of gold / tied me to you

mad woman — maam...... this is iconic shit........ how could she say stuff like this w such a dreamy, breathy voice. musically i get huuuge lana’a nfr vibes again (which i mean. goals) but i also adore that lyrically it’s so taylor, no one would say this shit the way she does. adore how she sings to wrap your news around and bonus for women like hunting witches too, i do love me a nod to the fact that some women are so deeply filled w machism that they’re basically men in disguise. 8,5 

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy / what about that? / and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry [isn’t this just womanhood condensed in a few lines]

epiphany — aw! it sounds like a lullaby, maybe it’s slightly ‘boring’ for my taste? meaning i get distracted which is surely a shame bc the words seem beautiful, but it’s so soft i just drift off? but reading the lyrics – for focus hehe – i’m moved. 7+

only twenty minutes to sleep / but you dream of some epiphany / just one single glimpse of relief / to make some sense of what you’ve seen

betty — okay byeeeeeeeeee. this is taylor at her finest! countryyyyyyyy, storytelling, lesbian jdjdfk no yeah I know I knowww, romance went sour. gut wrenching and beautiful, this feels like... watching a sad teen movie but w a sepia filter, idk. i dreamt of you all summer long oh my......... it’s like og taylor from her iconic first couple of albums came back but w all her baggage and growth and experience and better than ever. also why does taylor sing so wel about being in love w a woman????? well. 10+

betty, right now is the last time / i can dream about what happens when / you see my face again

peace — ..........yes yes yes. the high notes, the honesty, the syncopated parts where she says so much so quick and yet it still hits you. it’s not even a short song but it ends too soon, it goes by like that..... a poem. omg it just hit me this has flo vibes! especially from high as hope, for example grace or south london forever?? i mean... taylor doing alt folk country pop...... queen. give you my wild, give you a child?? ok ok. 10

all these people think love’s for show / but i would die for you in secret

hoax — weeeell the lana inspo jumped out w that piano!!!!! and like. mood. and lyrics...... this reminds me of wuthering heights or of lana’s tormented love stories (shades of blue.....). a powerful closer. poetry. 9

i am ash from your fire

♡♡♡♡

okkkkk this was a flattering review, very well deserved imo since the review is mine gjgjhkhk i agree w myself. thank you again and as i always say, feel free to come back w your comments! and have a great dayyyyy! much love

[counterspelling]

okay i have regained the energy to articulate exactly why and how tros was so fucking stupid

a non-exhaustive list of things they just didn't bother to explain unless i blacked out with rage or the sheer mediocrity

HOW palapatine fucking survived, other than that it's literally impossible for men in star wars to die and not get resurrected

why leia is so weak all of a sudden that reaching out to her son kills her

rey's parents NAMES?????????

how rey constructed her new saber from the end scene

who finn or jana's parents are

if palpatine was controlling everything the whole time why did snoke want kyle ron to kill rey

WHY DO THEY HAVE A FUCKING FORCE BOND IF THEY'RE NOT COUSINS WHEN ALL HE EVER DID WAS ABUSE AND TORTURE HER

a non-exhaustive list of things that this series irrevocably fucked up

by keeping the original trio apart and expecting them each to ~get their own focus~ in a movie instead of letting them BE TOGETHER, THE MAIN DRAW OF THE OT, they completely wasted leia. so we know she trained as a jedi with luke, but we NEVER GOT TO SEE IT. i waited my entire life to fucking see jedi leia and got nothing. and her stopping, just because she saw the death of her son? "ALWAYS IN MOTION, THE FUTURE IS" that's......... that's so dumb!!!!!!!!!!

will never be over luke abandoning the jedi order!!! of never getting to see him and leia stand side by side, lightsabers in hand, to defeat evil!

rey, again getting completely undermined and turning her story into the redemption of fucking kyle ron, when it's NOT HER RESPONSIBILITY TO SAVE HIM. HE DOESN'T DESERVE REDEMPTION. you don't get to slaughter millions and be a literal nazi and then decide at the last minute, actually, i inexplicably fell in love with this girl i've only ever tortured and abused so now i get a half-assed redemption

rey KISSING HER ABUSER bc the narrative will never let us see him as what he is!!! a nazi who continually, for years and years and years, CHOSE to be evil, to murder people who were fighting for freedom from tyranny, for no fucking reason

rey palpatine??????????? really??????????? they scavenged the internet crack theories for that????????? and decided to canonize it?????

palpatine fucks????????????????

the fact that they brought palpatine back at all, instead of letting kyle ron be the ultimate villain as he should have been. that they were too cowardly to let the nazi be a nazi and die unrepentantly

i was never invested either way in force-sensitive finn but the fact that they confirmed and yet did nothing with it

in general this entire trilogy continually setting up expectations for things that NEVER HAVE A PAYOFF, just dropped storyline after dropped storyline. it’s almost like if you’re gonna make a trilogy for a billion dollar franchise you should have some oversight and overarching plan from the beginning instead of deciding that letting three separate straight white men come in one after the other with no input or collaboration between them

finn and poe in general not having storylines??? because we just had to keep giving scenes to kyle ron! gotta waste a third movie on will or will he not finally decide to not be a piece of shit!

every skywalker is dead.............. if rey is not luke’s daughter, the skywalker line is gone forever and we did not live through 6 movies of watching skywalkers for it to end this way

the st trio not even being a trio. rey and poe didn’t even MEET until the end of the second movie. i just. never giving us a reunion scene between the ot trio. how does disney so fundamentally misunderstand the biggest draw of the star wars universe, THE BOND BETWEEN THE MAIN CHARACTERS, and how they pull together in the face of impossible odds to triumph together

it took 23 years to half-finish two death stars and now every star destroyer can have a planet destroying weapon??? really???

the things i needed from this movie were for rey to be luke's daughter, since narratively that is still the ONLY satisfying resolution for this trilogy, for her to kill kyle ron and NOT INEXPLICABLY HEAL HIM. WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT. ALL HE EVER DID WAS LIE AND TORTURE AND MURDER, THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON FOR HER TO HEAL HIM, and for rey and finn to get together and......... none of those things happened

even if i never would have forgiven tfa and abrams for the complete fuckup of the galaxy at large, invalidating everything the ot was about, keeping the original trio apart, there was SO MUCH POTENTIAL for rey and finn and poe in tfa. and then they just so completely dropped the ball. fucked all their characterizations, never gave them bonding as a team, weren’t even consistent across movies. there was still HOPE after tfa, but tlj came in with johnson’s arrogance and ~subversion~~~~~~ and blew every possible good ending out of the water. we could have had a trilogy for the first time not about a white dude, but about women and poc, about rey discovering her skywalker heritage and struggling with the legacy and responsibility that comes with it, of finding her blood family and forming a new one with her companions, of seeing her growth as a jedi and determination to make the galaxy a better place as her loved ones did, of finn discovering his force sensitivity and seeing them train together, seeing them join with luke and leia to rebuild the jedi order. and instead we got this. a woman who spends two movies inexplicably wasting her life and time trying to redeem an angry white man who only ever worked for tyranny and oppression and trying to call that love. fuck disney.

[warlordess]

how do u think misty would react if she finds out that serena kissed ash?would she be upset or heartbroken?well I picture a misty who tries her best not to murder the girl for making a move on HER guy but I know that's quite extreme and far-fetched xD

Okay so I’m gonna combine what we know of Misty in canon as well as a little bit of my Misty/self-esteem headcanon as far as I think her feelings for Ash were concerned by the time she left the main series…

Based on Misty’s personality and her past responses to female characters coming on to Ash, I can confidently say that she would look pretty hostile if she happened to be present at the time Serena kissed Ash. I mean, in every instance wherein some girl during OS flirted with him, Misty reacted at least with intense shock to mild aggression. 

When human!Latias/Bianca kissed Ash on the cheek, Misty literally dropped Togepi. This surrogate mother who has practically strangled anyone (including Ash) when her baby was put in danger in past scenarios dropped them to the ground.

When Melody from Pokeshipping: The Movie came on to Ash and kissed him on the cheek, Misty was so put-off by it that her cheeks flared red and her nerves went electric/on edge. It was enough to immediately draw Melody’s attention to her.

And when Macy from Johto invited Ash to eat out with her, Misty was so perturbed that she literally leaped in between the two trainers to physically break them up, lied about being Ash’s coach. Like… what? Since when??

However, the only one of these three characters Misty had prolonged exposure to (as in more than a few minutes) was Melody and honestly? The development of that tentative friendship speaks volumes to what kind of person Misty truly is.

So if she’d been present during Serena’s kiss with Ash (and, let’s say she hadn’t been present for the entirety of Ash’s Kalos journey), I do believe she’d be angry/upset/jealous/etc… but I don’t know if I could see her leaping in between the two like she did with Macy.

Her secondary response I think would be to pay attention to Ash’s reaction to the kiss, which I base on my headcanon that - by the end of OS - Misty has at least somewhat come to terms with Ash’s feelings for her and that she’s confident in the strength of their bond and their potential future together. I’ve always felt that, while vague, her comment at the end of GCYL - “Finally, I know how you feel…” - said peaceably with a soft smile on her face, shows that she no longer worries about her precarious relationship with him. I’ve even gone so far as to say that she knows he has some sort of romantic feelings for her and is just too immature to really understand and articulate them.

Of course, all that being said, if Misty had happened to just hear of the kiss after the fact, then I think her default response would be a similar fuming, bristling jealousy to what she showed when Melody was introduced in 2000. It also depends on how she finds out about it. Who’s going to tell her? She and Serena never met (nor did the canon suggest they or any other Kalos/non-Kalos companion had ever heard of each other and acknowledged each other’s relation to Ash) so it seems Ash himself would have to be the one to spill… which brings up a whole other direction to take the “what if” in.

When and why would Ash tell her of such an event? How would he go about it (email, phone-call, in person)? What would be his motivation in sharing this information with her specifically? Or would he share it indiscriminately with anyone who happened to be present?

This in turn leads me back to my end-of-OS!Misty headcanon. If she was more comfortable with hers and Ash’s relationship and wasn’t around when the kiss happened, then perhaps confronting Ash/enduring his explanation of the event would be the only way for her to know how he felt about the whole situation, which would be the most important thing to her considering Serena had already gone her own way. 

Had his feelings for her changed since they traveled together? Was their potential wasted by her decision to wait all that time while he figured out his side of things…?

At the end of it all, the one thing I could certainly see Serena’s kiss doing is propelling Misty into making a move of her own towards Ash. Whether that move would be impulsive and aggressive or organized and extensive is its own story.

[myheartbeatskids]

So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.

And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.

So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.

And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.

I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.

So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.

So then essentially i was kidnapped.

Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.

Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.

So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.

Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.

It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.

Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.

So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.

So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.

So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.

This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.

Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.

So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"

And Bria after me.

Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.

She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.

Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.

They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.

Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.

And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.

Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually

Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.

This is Declan.

He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"

Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!

"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"

Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...

Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.

So i didn't take it seriously enough.

But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.

So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.

The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....

Yet I still don't agree that it was.

However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.

And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.

So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....

But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.

As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!

Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.

I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.

So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.

So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.

So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.

So 360° K i own.

So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.

I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.

Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...

I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.

We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.

They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.

I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.

One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.

But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.

Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.

You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.

We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.

And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...

Cargo my bitches!

Jesse: No! I only ask!

Me: who do i have to convince?

Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?

Me: Ava who is your dad?

Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah

Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?

She nods all teary..

Jesse: well did i get loves?!

Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!

Jesse: well it got gas now!!!

Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.

Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.

Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.

Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!

Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.

Jesse: WHOA SHIT!

Me: Jeremiah you down?

Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?

Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!

Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go

Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me

Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.

Matt: IN!!

Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?

Pops: not if i don't have to

M3: you don't

Pops: shit! Oh yeah!

Chuck: what about Cookie!!

Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to

Chuckie: oh Cookies going!

Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.

Jesse: yes you did!

Me: no wonder it looked familiar.

[wastelandgoat]

The Courier

[Authors Note] First of the ‘Goats’ i was ever able to collect solid information on, the first i was able to radio in and speak to. He special to my Research and his story still goes. Sadly I say I am bit late getting his information into the system, but it was a bit hard to find time to do it ever since the Prisoner showed up. My hypothesis leads me to believe some big things will become of their development. [End of Note]

The Courier, a once happy hard working Mailman delivering around the Nevada area.

Claims to have grown up on a secluded farm house in the waste with his parents until he had to leave home to find a job for himself. with a stroke up luck took on the mail man Job and the title of Courier 6. happy to help and get the job done.

He changed after the events at Goodsprings. Bad luck brought the platinum chip and what might as well have been a big red X drawn onto the Couriers back. 

Entering the Mojave from the west, Six was ambushed and chased through the desert by the Tribe known as The Geckos and their leader Benny who seeked what the Courier unknowingly possessed. 

The events led to an epic fight in the night, only the people of good springs could have heard the gunfire over the cooled empty desert, and no one could have prepared the traveler to the land he would traverse to escape the Geckos. 

In the escape Six entered the Goodspring area and fell right into town. in the dead of night he fell from a cliff and depending on who you asked, could say he was lucky to have survived. 

having broken his leg and nearly torn his face off in the tumble, he was then dragged up the hill to the Goodspring Graveyard where the Geckos would shoot the Mailmain, take his package and bury him. 

The only thing to have saved his life that night was a Mechanized savior sent by the devil and a doctor stationed in the town.

He was awoken days later, his right eye hardly able to open, his leg still unusable, and his face full of stitches. 

He was broken. Could almost be called mute during his months in Goodspring, he stayed to heal and kept to himself. only giving his trust to the Doctor of Goodspring and only a few words given to others when he needed to speak.

When he was told he was fully recovered the left for the empty lands before them. He wanted to be alone and far away from the place where everything went so wrong.

He survived alone for a awhile, but being alone can only last so long. His travels took him to the old NCR correction facility. Gaining the trust of the Powder Gangers he set up his home in the safety of their buildings, eating the free food and fighting off the NCR who would come to try and reclaim the building. 

The Courier, now having changed his look, his hair and name, a new man, a stranger to himself. He didnt care for ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, supposes he knew the Powder Gangers were in the wrong but he couldn’t care, he was safe and had a place to sleep at night and no one gave a shit about who he was.

Hardly even two months of living in the facility Goat was evicted, a larger group of NCR soliders, more than they'd ever dealt with before arrived. everyone was slaughtered if they were to stand their ground. Only those who ran lived, and Goat ran for his life.

He ran all the way to Novac, where he once again tried to make a home. living in Novac was somehow different, Goat starts talking to his neighbors and helping people who needed it. he was warming up and even felt like a part of his past returning to him. 

However, not a man to keep a home long Goat soon took off, with only a half hearten promise of return. This venture came when he overheard a group of merchants traveling through town mention the Geckos, how they seemed to be cooking something up and if you were smart you'd move yourself out of the strip and freeside. 

Goat knew his target and set out into the desert. 

he began to help people along the way, small things usually with stomping out invasive animals on peoples homes or fixing their water structures or electricity when it was broken.

he travel far to be reunited with the man who ruined his life. 

He arrived in Freeside. he didnt pay much attention to anyone but the ones who were begging for attention. The Kings, big flashy lights and big attitudes. once Goat entered Freeside they all wanted to know his game. 

[Authors Note: by my guesses my theories on the ‘Goat Myth’ have reached far, and it seemed by this post a good bit of the Mojave knew The Courier before ever even seeing him]

Goat, surprisingly took to The Kings, maybe he liked that sense of being in a gang he had once been used to, maybe it was the welcoming vibe the King himself gave off. The Kings became like his family. Goat and the King were close. The King trusted Goat with his dog and important work that were integral to helping Freeside. the two shared much together, their secrets, alone time and hopes for New Vegas. However, Goat claimed that, even if it wasn't ever said they both knew no matter what they wanted of New Vegas their journeys where destined to fall apart and that Goat simply enjoyed the time he would have with The Kings until they knew it would end. 

In Goats work to improve Freeside under the lead of the Kings, he managed to finally get a way into The Strip. Ignoring all distractions he headed straight for Benny.

When the two met Goat, while still angry with what happened months ago, gave a moment of forgiveness. He heard out Benny and knew what he spoke about House to be true. Though He still have great fury for what Benny had done, he agreed to help him, to make a deal to take out House together.

But Benny only once again turn the tables again Goat and ran off with the Chip.

Goat would spend over a week none stop locating and chasing down Benny. Listening to no one else he was filled with anger, a want for revenge and once again filled with a feelings of being broken. The Courier and Benny’s journey led all the way to Legion. Goat didn't know much about the Legion beyond the bad stories he heard, but to Goat none of it mattered. He had Benny Cornered. Goat Agreed to the Legions terms to fight Benny in an arena for show, and when Benny was done for he was then crucified. [Authors Note: Goat never openly shared it with me, but i believe he felt potential remorse over their story ending this way]

Goat returned to The King, Spoke of what he had done. Goat didn't share further on his week after the events with me. 

He did tell that after this time of recovery The King asked him something of a great task. He asked Goat, with the chip, the trust of House still in his hands the stars aligning in everyone favor, to take out House and restore New Vegas to a better Future.

Goat speaks that, if it had been him months ago before he was shot, or even right before the moment Benny broke his trust and sense of judgement again maybe just maybe he would have told the King, Yes.

But he said no.

This was the dived they both knew would come. Both wanted great things for the future of Freeside and all good people, But Goat no longer trusted himself to make any decisions or to lead people. 

Goat left that night, claims no one was to ever see him again in the Mojave. The platinum Chip left in the hands of the King, and the faith people felt in the Pressence of the man spoken in legends taken. 

everyone believed the Courier was dead, but in the five years before The Prisoner would arrive the King insisted he lived. almost like a special secret he got to happily share when anyone would claim death befell the Courier who turn his back on them.

Few knew where the Courier went that night.

[Authors Note: from the bits and pieces of information iv received on the subject Goat was last scene head toward the Nipton Drive in Movie on a late night]

[shadowsof-thenight]

Fictober day 24: Dogwalking (part 4/4)

Promptnumber: 22 “We could have a chance” Fandom: MCU Characters: Bucky Barnes x reader, Warnings: some angst and fluff Words: 3173 Summary: Datenight had finally arrived!

A/N: This was intended for Fictober, so I figured I’d add the day, quote and such. Not sure what will happen to the last six days of the challenge. I had some fun ideas, which I’ll probably still write at some point. However my other stories require attention and I still don’t have that much energy to go around. That said, back to this story. It is the final part in this mini series. it was supposed to be short and fluffy, but I just couldn’t seem to stop writing today and it got longer and held more angst than intended. I hope you all enjoyed this little story. Is anyone interested in my editing this properly? Or should I leave it as is and simply link them together? I will certainly create a link for it in my masterlist under Bucky.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Fictober day 24: Dogwalking part four

When it was finally time to get ready for your date, you were surprisingly calm. As if you had wasted all your nerves during the week and were simply maxed out by now. After work you had rushed home, so you could have a quick shower and scarf down some food and still be ready by the time Bucky would arrive.

Bucky, it felt a little strange to regard him by his nickname. Almost invasive. It felt as if you still needed to work up to that and call him James instead. Anita, your colleague, had told you to go by whatever name he gave you. Which had been Bucky upon your first meeting. She assumed that this would be the name he was most comfortable hearing. Of course, she was right about that, but that did not change how it felt now that you had read upon the man a little.

That in and of itself was more than strange as well though. Reading up on someone beforehand. You’d only ever done that before a job interview. Not for a potential date. However, the man with the cuddly dog had intrigued you so much and back then you had not thought you’d ever see him again. Or that was how you tried to explain it to yourself. Now, it just felt like an invasion of his privacy. You promised yourself to be upfront about it when you saw him, just to lead with honesty even though it terrified you.  

By seven-thirty you were done and sat down on your couch, doing some breathing exercises to try and relax. In through your nose, hold it, and calmly out through your mouth. As usual, it worked wonders and you leaned back. You were happy that you’d managed to get everything done in such a short amount of time and well within your time frame.

Turning on the tv, you flipped through the channels for a moment, finally settling on a rerun of Friends. It would help you pass the time until that gorgeous man would arrive on your doorstep. And pass the time it did, for you were well into the second episode before you realised just how much time had gone by. You glanced up at the large clock on the wall by the kitchen and saw that Bucky was fifteen minutes late. You shrugged, fifteen minutes was nothing and you went back to the episode.

By the next episode however, you could not stop your foot from tapping against the hardwood floor, or your fingers from playing with the clasp of your phone case. With a smile you put the phone down and thought of the scolding your sister would give you if she had seen you do it. Your incessant need to pick at something was a great source of annoyance with her. One you really tried to contain, though it clearly worked with varying degrees of success.

By eight-forty-five you were back at it again, unable to stop yourself. You’d checked the screen of your phone more than a few tomes and still had no messages of missed calls. Briefly you wondered if it was too early to text him. Were you being impatient? Finally you decided to wait a little longer, fo the hands of the clock to reach the nine. By then you were certain that you had been stood up.

Hurt, masking itself as anger, surged through you and you wanted to sent him a strong of angry texts. Truthfully, you wanted to call him, but emotions were running high and you did not trust your voice to remain steady at this point. And you really didn’t want to make a big fool of yourself. It would be just like you to let the anger get the best of you, making you burst into tears halfway through. Now that would be embarrassing. So instead you toped and erased your message at least three times before choosing to keep it more civil. Simply asking him if he got held up. After all, you reasoned with yourself, there had not been a date before this. Did you really have the right to be this angry? Did he not deserve the benefit of the doubt?

It was a decision you came to question when his answer did not come. Not until an hour later anyway. And by then you had changed into sweats, popped in a movie and opened a cheap bottle of wine. You were allowing yourself to wallow a little. After all, it was okay to be hurt by this. Right? Even if he had a perfectly reasonable excuse. It was never fun to wait for a date that wouldn’t come.

So when he called you and apologised profusely, your mood had not been as good sit could’ve been. But you’d been worse. You were able to listen to his explanation without anger coursing through you. Apparently he had been on a mission that had run late and he had been unable to inform you before now. He said felt horribly guilty and you decided to believe him. During the call you remained calm, perhaps somewhat impassive, in an attempt not to let any emotion, be it anger or hurt, ruin whatever this was or could be.

You had known what his job was and it felt stupid to hold that against him. It was up to you to either accept it or bail. There were no deep rooted feelings involved here, bailing now would still be merciful. No dent to either ego, no real heartbreak. If you wanted a clean cut, now would be the time to take it. But he was far too cute and interesting to give up that easily, you thought.

So as you listened to his repeated apologies, you couldn’t tell him off. Or you didn’t anyway. Instead you promised him that it was fine, these things happened and you weren’t angry. Only a little disappointed perhaps, sorry that the date had fallen through. And as you spoken those words to him, you realised that it was the truth. So when he asked you for another chance, you happily gave it. Tomorrow.

***

Bucky felt absolutely horrible when the jet finally entered the airspace of their hometown. Time had slipped away from him so rapidly. The mission he was currently returning from had been very last minute and he could not turn it down. There had been nobody else to take his place. He had really hoped to be back in time for his date. It was his first date in a while he had been looking forward to it. But by the time he finally managed to finish and get back on the plane, it was entirely too late.

He had not been able to bring his phone, so when he returned to his place he quickly checked it. That was when he had seen her text and he knew that he had screwed up royally. If only he’d had the presence of mind to sent her a text beforehand, informing her of the possibility of his unintended tardiness, it might have gone over better. He would not have had to apologise so much. And she would not have been waiting for him. What would she have been thinking?

He pondered his next course of action for a moment, considering texting her back. Though that felt weak, cowardly somehow. Calling her would be better, he was certain, even if it scared him. A call would definitely be more sincere. He could only hope that she would even be willing pick up and listen to him. If you asked him, she had every right to ignore his pleas. He stood her up on their first date! Greatly diminishing his chances for another one.

However, she did answer. And after the second ring, she didn’t even make him wait or try again. Though her voice did sound strained, with repressed emotions and for a moment he was sure that she was getting ready to tell him off. To ask him to never call him again. He was so sure in fact, that when she told him that it was okay, that she understood, he continued to repeat his apologies. Every single one of those apologies was heartfelt and he just hoped that she would get that. Finally he stopped apologising however and asked her for another chance, still fearing that she wouldn’t give him one.

Surprisingly enough, she accepted. She granted him another chance.

And he was so eager to show her that he was serious. That he really wanted to fix this screw up, he asked her to meet him the following day. In his mind this would reduce the ability for her to stew on his failure to appear. The allowance for more time to pass would only connive her to cancel, he feared. With Y/n’s acceptance of the new date, he was over the moon. Guilt still ate at him, but there was new hope as well and he promised both her and himself that would make up for tonight. Now he just needed to live up to that.

***

You went on to spend most of your free Saturday wondering if he’d show up on time tonight or even at all. Despite the knowledge that it wasn’t fair to give these thoughts room, they were hard to repress. So finally, to distract yourself, you called Anita to meet you. She took you to lunch, in a little family run lunchroom where you both loved to eat. You confided in her and she did her best ease your mind. And afterwards she convinced you to join her on a shopping trip, where you were to buy a new dress. One to impress your date and make him regret ever standing you up - her words. You were pretty sure that he felt bad enough about it already.

That being said, it had been a while since you bought anything new, so you agreed to her plan and set out to find a magnificent dress. A search that happened to be over rather quickly. It was the second store that held such a wonderful selection that you spend the better part of the afternoon admiring and trying things on. There were little black dresses in different styles, extravagant reds, deep sea blues and a magnificent forest green that seemed made for you. As soon as your eyes caught sight of it, there was no other dress you were willing to consider. That said, had you’d been in possession of an abundance of money, you’d have left with more than one dress. As it were, you were happy to get the single green one.

Both you and Anita had a wonderful time in the store, admiring all they had and you vowed to come back soon. For now you were all set and Anita therefore accompanied you home to finish the shopping in style. With a joined effort in doing your make-up and hair. She wanted to make sure you looked like a goddess- again her words.

And when the clock struck eight that evening, you certainly felt beautiful as you waited for Bucky to arrive in your new green knee length dress. The frock giving you confidence and a new hope that tonight would fare far better than yesterday. When a knock on the door signalled his arrival you jumped up instantly and with a wide smile on your face, you opened the door and were greeted by a dashing Bucky. Who was wringing his hands, by the way. Upon seeing your smile, he returned it and his shoulders seemed to ease a little. Though you immediately noted that it was only slightly so. There was still enough tension in his shoulders for the naked eye to see.

“Hi,” you said, a simple greeting, voice bright.

“Hey,” he sighed back and you wondered what he was thinking. Did he expect you to be angry? You wouldn’t have told him yes to tonight if you had been.

Quickly you grabbed your coat and small purse, before following him out the door and to his car. He held the door open for you and it brought a smile to your face, he was a gentleman it seemed. It wasn’t something you required in a man, but it was refreshing to encounter. 
The drive was short and he led you to what looked like a simple bar on the outside, though the inside showed you a more old-fashioned interior. There were a few tables spread around a circular dance floor where a few couples were already swaying to the slow beat coming from large speakers. There was a stage for a band, though there wasn’t one playing now, perhaps later. After all it was Saturday.

Bucky placed a hand carefully in the small of your back as he guided you towards a table that sat in a quiet corner and he pulled out a chair for you. Most tables were already taken and soft chatter filled the air around you. It added to an overall pleasant atmosphere in the cozy establishment and you took a moment to look around and take it all in. It really was a nice place and a good find. There weren’t many places like this and it didn’t look like much from the outside. You would’ve never discovered this.

Of course, it would have all been even nicer if some of the chatter had been at your own table. Now these surroundings only highlighted the lack of conversation between you and Bucky. He had been so nervous during the car ride the he seemed unable to respond to your questions in more than two or three words nor did he ask you anything. It had really put a damper on the beginning of this evening and you could only hope it would get better.

***

Bucky knew he was messing this up. The date really wasn’t going well at all. For some reason he was so incredibly nervous about the chance of rejection that he had gone quiet. He’d done that before, long ago, when he had first removed himself from Hydra’s clutches. To afraid to trust his instincts beyond survival. And it had taken quite some effort from Steve and Sam to get him to a place where he did more than grunt in response and spoke in full sentences again. Since thy weren’t here to lend a hand, he knew it was up to him to turn this around. After all she hadn’t run yet. Perhaps he should try and accept that she would not reject him over yesterday.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said with a deep sigh. She turned her head from the dance floor and gave him her full attention as she cocked her head to the side, as if to ask for an elaboration of his apology.

“I haven’t been a good date so far. Beginning with last night and then today I haven’t really used my words,” he said with a small chuckle. Honesty was the best policy, he decided and just hoped she would appreciate it. When she smiled kindly once again, he felt himself relax just a bit more.

“We didn’t get off to a good start, I guess,” she agreed with a smile.

“Let’s change that!” Bucky said louder, “Would you like to dance?” He stood up and reached out his hand to Y/n for her to take.

He hadn't been sure how to approach this situation, but he had always been a relatively good dancer and perhaps it was smart to fall back on something he knew. Impress her with his dancing, relax a little more still and who knew, some conversation was to be had after all. A man could hope.

***

He gently placed a hand in your side and swiftly began to sway you around the dance floor. His light footedness surprised you, considering his size and you enjoyed the way his confidence seemed to return. His leading felt wonderful, causing a flutter in your belly and you stared at his face. He looked back at you, entirely at ease in this position.

Even when a faster soon came on and you were no longer in his arms, he took the lead and moved so effortlessly. He was finally in his element and not only did it allow him to finally answer some of your questions, he even managed to ask you some of his own. An hour later, when you were finally back at your table, ordering drinks and nacho’s, you felt like you were finally getting to know the man. And he was nothing like the person you’d read about. He was far better.

Bucky turned out to be a complex and interesting human being. Kinder than you could have ever imagined, especially with a past like his. And certainly none of the articles you’d read mentioned anything about his humour. He had a wonderful sense of sarcasm and wasn’t at all afraid to laugh at his own expense. It made him even more attractive. And as he made you laugh once again, one of those real belly laughs that left you gasping for air, you couldn’t help but wonder about future dates. You surely hoped there’d be more.

“We could have a chance, after all,” you thought as he led you back to his car, long after midnight.

Being the gentleman he had shown you to be all night, he even walked you back to your apartment. Talking and laughing all the way to the front door, where suddenly silence returned once more. You wonder if he would kiss you, but dared not take that first step. Instead you looked down, tapping your feet like Dorothy, though you weren’t wishing for him. Rather for the night to last forever. It had been so nice. Bucky cleared his throat after a few more quiet moments and you knew you had to look up again. Look at his eyes instead of his shoes.

Just as you began to move your head up again, he moved down. This could have easily resulted in a massive head-bud of course, for you saw it happening and could do nothing to stop it. It simply happened to fast. However, you were lucky and escaped the ordeal without a bump. 
Though it did create some awkwardness, as Bucky had been trying to kiss your cheek. Yet as you both moved, he didn’t find your cheek but your lips. It wasn’t much of a kiss, a mere brush, but it was rather awkward.

He practically jumped back, clearly having not intended this and mumbled an apology. And you smiled. Intended or not, you didn’t mind one bit. Therefore you decided to silence him by placed a more decisive peck on his lips. The smile the spread across his face after that, told you it had been a good decision.

***

Fictober19 Masterlist

[hwu-adventures-blog]

Giving In (Hunt x HWU!MC):

A/N: Hi! So I was bored ( and I don’t want to revise for an exam I have in two days) and I realised, hold on? Do you know what I haven’t done in a while? Written a Hunt x MC or a Hollywood U fanfic (even though Hollywood U has ended 😢)... so let’s do that! I busted this out in about an hour. Also I got the dialogue off YouTube because I haven’t played the date yet. So here it is.. (spoilers for Hunt date: the dinner date)

Professor Thomas Hunt had done it. He’d finally snapped. He could not put up with Maddie Jenkins’ ridiculousness and persistence any longer so, naturally he had shut her down and she’d disappeared. He’d thought he’d finally won, that she’d stopped it, that she’d finally learned her lesson. Except, clearly she hadn’t because he found her in his bedroom of all places! And she had pulled him by the jacket into the room with her! He was so angry that she’d go to this length to try and date him! That she’d try to maybe seduce him then and there! He was- he was livid!

However, the thing was, that was a completely lie. Thomas wasn’t angry or livid, even. He was frustrated that his attempts so far had failed, sure, but he had secretly hated turning her away, hated choosing his career at Hollywood U over a potential relationship for the second time, it broke his heart when she ran out of the cellar clearly torn to bits, and he knew that, despite Maddie’s flaws (of which there were a quite a few), she was nothing but honest and would not try anything with him unless he wanted it. Which he did. He wanted so badly to be with her. Why? Because, Thomas Orson Hunt, was head over heals in love with his student, and that was that. However, his pride would not and could not let him give into this emotional train wreck that would become a potential relationship if he let it. He had to play to the charade and hope that would be enough to keep his feelings at bay one more time. Then maybe, just maybe, she would finally get the hint.

“What do you think you’re doing, Maddie?”

The brown haired student looked at him with a challenging look on her face.

“I’m trying to have a conversation with you. Why have you been avoiding me all night?” She explained “I don’t deserve to be treated like this”

Thomas didn’t quite know what to say to that. She had been hurt, by him, she deserved better than this.

“You... you’re right.” He said coldly

“What?” Her blue eyes (which had become Hunt’s favourite shade of blue by the way) widened in suprise, taken aback by the professor’s comment but Thomas, ever the professional ex-actor didn’t not falter his stern expression once.

“You’re right, okay? You do deserve better. But I had no choice but to avoid you”

Maddie’s expression hardened again, upon hearing his terrible explanation as Thomas had expected it would

“What? That doesn’t even make any sense”

“I had to put some distance between us, since you always insist on closing the gap. You were like that at the masquerade, on that movie set, and especially on that date auction”

Maddie expression softened at this and she looked rather apologetic to Thomas’ surprise, he had expected her to stand her ground which she had done in the past plenty of times to varying results.

“I- I’m sorry how I behaved before, I know I’ve been pushy in the past, but it was the only way to get you to open up to me. You’re so stubborn sometimes!”

Oh he was well aware of his stubbornness Extremely aware, and it was once again becoming his downfall or giving him success, he wasn’t so sure at this moment.

“I want us to be together. But i want you to want it too” Maddie frowned before perking up enough to ask him a question “look, I think already know the answer to this but... do you want to be with me? Or would you rather be with Marianne?”

What?

Thomas didn’t look at her or reply, he looked at the floor. But he could feel her look on him, it was that heartbroken look from the wine cellar. The look that had been given to him before she wandered off and ended up in his room.

“That’s what I thought. I guess this has all been a waste of my time. I’ll see you in class, Professor...”

Her voice trailed off and she turned to leave, residing herself too the fact that it was all over and Thomas realised she was giving up! He’d won! He should be happy about this! relieved! So.. why wasn’t he happy? Why wasn’t he feeling relieved? He was making a mistake, letting her go, that’s why. Screw professionalism! Screw fighting it ! He loved her and he was not prepared to lose her forever! So he wrapped an arm around her waist and looked at her, with a look that could be close to begging, a look of guilt. Of sadness. He just couldn’t let her leave!

“Don’t go...”

Maddie Jenkins felt Thomas wrap his arms around her and she leaned into his embrace.

“Don’t go, Maddie”

“I don’t have much of a reason to stay do I? I mean, you basically told me you didn’t want me, you’ve made your choice, and your choice is Marianne” Maddie said her voice, sounding the most heartbroken it had been since, well, ever. Thomas broke the embrace and folded his arms in confusion.

“I’m not interested in her. Don’t you get it?” Thomas said the sternness in his voice returning but there was a slight hint of amusement in his voice as well.

“Get what?”

“I knew I couldn’t spend an evening with you in my house without something happening... I needed a way to prevent us from... well, ending up where we are now” his voice had gotten less stern again with the explanation and he’d become more relaxed, his arms returning to his sides. This man is definitely a rollercoaster with his emotions, Maddie thought to herself jokingly thinking back to one of her first encounters with the man in front of her. But another thought replaced that one relatively quickly. And her eyebrow raised in her confusion.

“So I’m supposed to believe that Marianne was what? A defence? Against me?”

“Yes, on paper, Marianne may seem like the perfect person for me. And we do have a history together. But she and I don’t work well in real life. Believe it or not, it’s possible for someone to have too much criticism in a relationship”

“So, what is she then?”

“A friend. That’s it.”

Thomas looked deeply into Maddie’s eyes, as their eyes connected, Maddie noticed, not for the first time his were the perfect shade of brown. No, they were not just the perfect shade but the perfect shade. Not too dark, not too light, but slap bang in the middle. She didn’t think a perfect shade of brown was possible, well, until Professor Hunt came along and introduced her to her new, favourite shade of her least favourite colour.

“You’re the one I want, Maddie. The one I’ve wanted”

This was a dream right? A really, really good dream.... was this really happening? That he really wanted her? This had to be a dream right? She mentally pinched herself. Yeah, no this was not a dream.

“Thomas...”

Maddie suddenly couldn’t take it any longer, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss and Thomas returned it immediately, pulling her closer to him as he did. After a moment, Maddie pulled away, needing to breath of course, and Thomas rested his forehead against hers, his eyes closed, smiling softly at her. Maddie suddenly realised that as great as this was, she probably had to go back downstairs or people would get suspicious that both her and the host were missing.

“Thomas I-”

“Not yet”

He leaned in for another kiss, clearly not ready to let her go yet. This one was longer and Maddie had to admit, sweeter, like he had been waiting for this for so long and the thought (and quite possibly the kiss) made her giddy and when he had finally pulled away, Thomas and Maddie both knew, deep down, even though it sounded cliché and like a trope from a romantic comedy or any cheesy romance film, that this was meant to be.

[bellaelisabeth95]

Finding Us Chapter 1

A/N: Soooo I’m about to get a new laptop and I found this old story I wrote a whole bunch of chapters for years ago but never posted. Given what I spied last week about the Perfectionists through social media, I figured why not post it? This is a mostly canon story starting at 3x05 with the exception that Alison is really dead. Because honestly that was always the way I thought it should have been, even when I wrote this years ago and the ship wars hadn’t gotten out of hand. Rated M eventually. I found 10 chapters for this. Here’s the first one, and I’ll post more if you all are interested. I still don’t own pretty little liars (thankfully lol). Hope you enjoy!

  “You’ve been in a mean mood all day, Emily,” Hanna Marin complained as she, Spencer Hastings, Aria Montgomery, and Emily Field sat at their table in the cafeteria. Emily shot her friend a nasty look, even though she knew it was true. But she couldn’t help it. She had been trying to move on from Maya’s death, and yesterday she had finally gotten up the courage to ask Paige McCullers to see the Katy Perry movie with her. She had Paige had an……. Interesting history, and she had always felt like things between them were unfinished. She had never been happy with the way she had left them, yelling at Paige because she wasn’t ready to come out. How unfair had that been? She had been afraid to tell her own parents, and Paige’s parents were far more…… traditional than hers. She felt ashamed every time she thought about it, and she had always been meaning to set things right. Now felt like a better time than ever, and if it turned into something more, she thought she might finally be ready for that. Only there was one problem. Jenna Marshall was having her fake “I got my eyesight back” party at the Brew, and her boss was forcing her to work it. At the same time she and Paige were supposed to be going to their movie.   “Shut up, Hanna.”   “No, she’s right,” Spencer agreed. “What’s wrong?”   Emily huffed. She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell her friends. She knew Spencer hated Paige, and she didn’t feel like her friends dumping all over her right now.   “Jenna’s stupid party,” she started, and Aria snorted.   “I’m going. Just cause of Laurel Tuckman.”   “Well, my boss is making me work it. And I was supposed to go to a movie with Paige and I feel like a total loser bailing.”   “Paige?” Spencer shouted as Aria and Hanna gaped at her. “Like, crazy Paige? Who tried to drown you?”   “Will you lower your voice?” she snapped. The last thing she needed was for Paige to hear that. “She never tried to drown me. Stop blowing what happened out of proportion because you have your own issues with her.”   “Yeah, because she’s-.”   “Spencer, stop,” Aria cut in, and Emily looked at her gratefully. Aria always was the peacekeeper. “You’re not being fair. You know she wasn’t trying to drown anyone. Maybe if we got to know Paige, we’d like her. Emily’s disappointed about this and it doesn’t help to make her feel worse.”   “Thank you, Aria,” Emily replied, shooting a nasty look at Spencer. Spencer looked down.   “She’s right. I’m sorry.”   “Anyway, continue,” Hanna replied. “That’s why you’re cranky?”   “Yes! I always hated the way I left things. I always thought there was potential with us, and I…… I’m ready to move on. But she’s so….. Timid? She would barely look at me when I asked her the other day.”   “That’s weird,” Aria replied. “She’s obviously still so into you. She always has been.”   “She probably thinks I hate her,” Emily sighed. “I’ve been not so great to her.”   “I think that makes you two even,” Spencer sniffed. Hanna and Aria looked at her. “What?”   “Anyway,” Aria started. “I’m sure Paige will understand. I’m sure she was invited to Jenna’s party, too. Maybe she can come keep you company.”   “Yeah, that’s romantic.”   “Look, Em, she’ll understand,” Hanna told her. “Offer a rain check. Make it clear that you’re still interested.”   “Yes,” Aria agreed. “Make sure she knows you’re not just flaking.”   “Yeah, okay,” Emily agreed, sighing. “I’ll tell her after school.”   She glanced at Spencer, who was pretending to be very busy with the sandwich she was eating. If she did start dating Paige, what would happen between them? Would Spencer grow to like her? Or would the two of them drift apart?

*****

  To her relief, Paige was very understanding about the whole thing. Or, at least, she seemed to be. Emily took her friends’ advice and made it clear to Paige that she did still want to see her. When Paige came over after school, she even called the theater to ask if they could use the tickets next week instead. Luckily, they said yes.   “I’m so sorry,” Emily told her. “It’s so embarrassing that I made these plans with you and then I had to bail.”   “Em, it’s okay,” Paige replied, smiling. She looked so cautious, surely waiting for Emily to change her mind. Emily felt bad about that, but she didn’t blame her. She saw Paige in a different light than Spencer did. Spencer saw Paige as some horribly aggressive outcast. Maybe she was aggressive sometimes, but Emily knew there were other reasons for that. She saw Paige as an awkward girl still coming to terms with her sexuality. Someone who just wanted to be liked. “It will be just as fun next week.”   They looked at each other for a moment. Then Paige looked away.   “Anyway, I’ll still get to see you,” she continued. “I was kind of surprised Jenna invited me. We’ve never been friends, but…… I don’t know, I’m really happy for her.”   Emily bit her lip. Paige had no idea.   “I’m going to check the closet for another tie,” she sighed as she threw the clip on one onto her bed. “This isn’t working. Can you look in the drawer?”   “Sure,” Paige replied, seemingly glad to have something to do. Emily froze when she pulled the flask out, an excited look on her face. “What’s this?”   “Uh……..” The last time she had drank from that flask, nothing good had happened. “Take it. I don’t want it.”   “Cool,” Paige replied, looking at it with glee in her eyes. Emily bit back a chuckle. She figured it was probably pretty hard for a deacon’s daughter to sneak alcohol into the house.   “Listen, Paige…… I just want you to know that I really do want to spend time with you. I don’t want you to think……”   “I don’t,” Paige replied, but Emily knew she saw relief in her eyes. “I promise.”

*****

  Paige was feeling pretty good when she got back to her house. She hid the flask in her room and sat on the bed with her history book open, even though she was just thinking about Emily. She believed that Emily really wanted to give her another chance. And she would NOT screw it up this time. She promised herself that.   It seemed too good to be true that Emily Fields was giving her a second chance. How many nights had she cried over how badly she had messed things up last time? Emily noticing her at all had always been a distant dream, and she never stopped beating herself up for letting her slip away. She still felt guilty for trying to kiss her that one night, especially after Maya had turned up dead. And then there was that other night, when Emily had kissed her.   But did she even remember? At first Paige had thought she was ignoring her, but she realized Emily really didn’t remember. Especially because now she was making such an effort to reconcile. Maybe subconsciously, the night Emily had shown up at her house, she had wanted her. Or maybe that was too much to hope for.   She squirmed with guilt when she thought about that night right before school had started. She didn’t think Emily remembered showing up at her house and kissing her. She must have been that drunk. Paige didn’t know if she should tell her. Emily might hate her for it. But was it right to keep it a secret?   She didn’t know what to do. A year ago, she had never even dreamed of telling anyone her secret. But  Emily had been too irresistible. And losing her had encouraged Paige to come out to her parents so it would never happen again. Now she once again had a chance with her dream girl.   “Don’t mess it up this time,” she muttered to herself.

*****

  The party was a disaster, Emily thought as she looked out into the darkened room in dismay. The party was as boring as she thought it would be. Jenna irritated the crap out of her. Nate wouldn’t leave her alone. And she suspected that had Paige pissed off. She seemed mad that she had gone to talk to Nate, when really, Emily just wanted to ask what the hell he was doing there. She found it strange that Jenna would invite him. But then again, none of them understood anything Jenna did. All she knew was everything was going exactly the way she didn’t want. She didn’t even have Aria to talk to, because she was running around doing her own secret thing that she hadn’t shared.   She hadn’t realized Paige had been drinking until she was standing next to Jenna, watching her jab her finger into a cupcake, lick it, and then jab it back in. Suddenly her angry behavior all night made a lot more sense.   “What is she doing?” Jenna asked angrily as they strode towards her. “What are you doing?”   “Looking for a coconut,” Paige replied, licking more frosting off her fingers. Emily stared at her in shock. “These vanilla ones are gross.”   “Stop it!”   “I’m not gonna stop til I find a coconut,” she replied indignantly. “These cupcakes taste like old pennies.”   “Can I get you some coffee?” Emily cut in. Paige glowered at her.   “Really? Finally, you have time for me?” she asked, her words slurred. Emily was surprised that her talking to Nate made her that jealous. Did it make Paige think she was hung up on Maya? That wasn’t it, but Paige was in no state for her to explain that. “Fine. Let’s dance.”   “I can’t dance. I’m working,” she replied. The look on Paige’s face told her that was the wrong thing for her to say.   “Fine. I’ll dance by myself.”   Emily watched helplessly as Paige twirled away from her, still sucking on her fingers. But then she tripped- just over her own feet since she was obviously wasted- and crashed to the ground, taking some statue with her. Emily was at her side in an instant, frantically asking if she was okay. Paige groaned in response, holding a bloody gash on her head. Suddenly Nate was there too, and Emily wanted to snap at him to just get lost, but she was too worried about Paige. So she let him help her up and lead her outside, glad that he could at least drive them to the hospital so she could sit with Paige in the backseat.

*****

  Paige wanted to thank Emily for being so nice to her as they rode to the hospital, but she was too tired and dazed to say anything. She felt so weird, and her head really hurt. She didn’t remember feeling like this the last time she had been drunk. She hadn’t even had that much tonight. Just a little from the flask she had brought with her. Why did she feel so awful?   She had surely done it this time. She wondered how she always managed to squander a great opportunity like this. Maybe it was in her DNA.   “We’re almost there, Paige,” Emily told her gently. “You’ll be okay.”   She closed her eyes as her stomach churned. She wanted to go home and get into bed.   “Em…..”   “Shhh,” she whispered. “We’re here. I’ll help you out.”   The sudden movement of getting out of the car sent an uncontrollable wave of nausea over her, and she vomited onto the sidewalk. Even with how bad she felt, she was mortified. Yeah, Emily would definitely be done with her now.   “That’s okay,” Emily told her. “Come on, they can give you something for your head.”   They went into the emergency room, where she was brought to a cubicle right away. She half wanted her mom, and half knew her dad would kill her when he found out. None of that would be worse than the fact that she had messed things up again with Emily.

*****

  Emily laid awake almost half the night, thinking about the fact that she had accidentally drugged Paige. That she had been drugged herself the night she had dug up Ali’s grave. Someone had done that on purpose. A, she was sure.   She jumped as her phone rang. Spencer. She debated not answering, because she was sure Hanna had gone running right to her after their conversation earlier. But against her better judgment, she did.   “Hello?”   “Emily. I heard about what happened before.”   “And?” she asked coldly.   “I’m not going to say anything mean. I just want to make sure you’re okay. Hanna told me about the drugs.”   “Yeah. A, I guess. I had no idea. And then I gave the flask to Paige, and…….”   “Is she okay?”   “Yeah. But when she finds out that the drugs were in my flask, she’ll probably think I drugged her.”   “She would never think that.”   “What do I tell her? I can’t tell her the truth.”   “No, I guess not. Maybe she won’t figure it out.”   “I don’t think that’s likely,” Emily replied sadly. “I made an attempt to move on, and I don’t think it’s going to work.”  

*****

Things with Paige were somehow even more awkward than they had been before Emily had asked her to the Katy Perry movie. They had talked a little in the hallway, but not much more than that. Emily was sure Paige was avoiding her. Who could blame her? Surely by now she had figured out where the drugs had come from. Did she think that Emily had done it on purpose? She guessed she couldn’t blame her if she did.   After talking a little with Nate (was he ever going to leave? Maybe it was just her paranoia, but she thought he cared a little too much for a cousin), she went to Paige’s house to talk to her before school. She found Paige in her backyard next to her pool, working on her bike. She didn’t look up even with Emily standing right there until she cleared her throat loudly.   “Em. Hi.”   “How are you feeling?”   “I felt bad for a while, but I’m better now,” she replied, standing up.   “I think we need to talk,” she started.   “No. We don’t,” Paige replied, sounding almost desperate.   “How about after school?” Emily asked/   “I can’t today.”   “Tomorrow then,” Emily replied firmly. She needed Paige to listen to her. Paige looked like she was debating in her head, and then sighed.   “Okay.”   “Good,” Emily replied, relieved. There was nothing else to say, so she left Paige there, feeling only slightly better. Sometimes it felt like the universe didn’t want them to work out.   “Where were you?” Hanna asked when she finally showed up to Aria’s locker with just five minutes to spare before homeroom.   “I got a late start,” she replied. “Didn’t hear my alarm.”   “Well, you missed half of my story about Caleb,” Hanna replied irritably, and the annoyance on Spencer’s face showcased how she felt perfectly.   “Sorry, Hanna. Aria can fill me in,” she replied, and Aria glared at her. Emily gave her an apologetic look.   “Well, anyway……”   Emily zoned out, not hearing a word she said. She had her own problems. Paige. A. Nate. Getting into Maya’s website. That was the only time she was interested in hearing Caleb’s name right now, as selfish as that sounded. She just desperately needed some stability in her life.   At lunch she tried to find Paige, but she didn’t see her. She tried not to feel too hurt that Paige was obviously avoiding her. Maybe, if she could explain, everything would be okay.

*****

  Her talk with Emily had gone exactly the way she had expected. Paige was crying by the time she got back to her house, glad that she was alone to just let her guilt and shame consume her. Emily had gone with her on a run, where of course, they had ended up talking about the flask. Paige had realized it had been the only way she could have been drugged. She had also known that it couldn’t have been Emily’s doing. She didn’t know who was responsible, but whoever it was had been trying to hurt Emily.   She had admitted the kiss to Emily. Which she felt even worse about now, since Emily had been drugged that night. She hadn’t been able to read Emily’s emotions. Disgust? Regret? Confusion? Paige hadn’t been surprised when she had walked away, and she wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to speak to her again. Why had she kissed her back that night? She knew something wasn’t right. She hadn’t in her wildest dreams imagined Emily was drugged, but she knew she wasn’t sober. It hadn’t been right to kiss her.   She sat on the chair by her pool, her head in her hands. She was too sad to move. Too disgusted with herself. She would just have to move on.   She couldn’t contain her surprise when later that night Emily came back. Paige looked at her, terrified of what she was going to say, as a gentle night breeze blew around them.   “I’m sorry,” she offered helplessly. The look on Emily’s face was surprisingly kind as she launched into a speech about that night, surely one that would end with her telling Paige she never wanted to see her again. But that wasn’t where it was going, and Paige was sure she was hearing wrong when Emily told her:   “I was looking for someone. And I came here.”   Paige looked down, embarrassed and overcome with relief. Emily didn’t hate her.   “Don’t look away,” Emily told her as she cupped her cheek, and when Paige looked back at her, they kissed. It was a glorious kiss, the most passionate, meaningful one they had ever shared. She never wanted it to end, and she lost track of how long they stood by the pool with their lips connected.   “Em….. are you sure?” she finally asked, and she screamed at herself internally, Don’t doubt, you moron!   “Of course I’m sure,” Emily replied, smiling as they gazed at each other. “I always felt like we weren’t finished. I’m sorry for how I left things. I was unfair to you, shaming you for not coming out when you weren’t ready.”   “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-.”   “Let’s stop apologizing,” Emily cut in, still smiling. “This is a fresh start.”   “Okay,” Paige agreed. “Hey. Wanna swim?”   “Yes!” Emily exclaimed, and Paige could only stare for a minute, enchanted by her beauty. Emily Fields wanted to be her girlfriend. “This isn’t a dream, Paige. I’m here. I want you.”   She didn’t know what to say to that. She still couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that even after all her screw ups, Emily wanted her.   Not long after they were swimming in Paige’s pool, practically naked, stopping every few feet to kiss. Paige didn’t think she could ever get tired of feeling Emily’s lips on hers.   “I’m getting cold,” Emily told her after a while, and Paige realized her teeth were chattering. It was cold; she had just been too distracted to notice it.   “Oh, Em…… I’m sorry. Let’s get out.”   They were shivering violently all the way up to Paige’s house as the cool night breeze hit their wet bodies Paige was nervous having Emily in her house while her parents were away, but she knew tonight wouldn’t be the night. She knew, without them saying anything, that they would take it slower than that. As badly as Paige wanted Emily, she had never been with someone intimately before, and she still needed some time to get used to the idea that Emily wanted her.   As she looked at Emily, she didn’t think that she could be happier.

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 7)

18 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hey everyone! So the first date chapter is finally here and I have been ready to get here for what feels like forever! In this fic, there are obviously some different dynamics at play. There is the intrigue of Killian and Emma’s pasts, the mythos of shifters, and some potential future hiccups that must be faced – but in this chapter we are getting my traditional blend of CS cuteness and fluff. It’s a real love fest, not going to lie. Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoy and I thank you so much for reading!

Dating. As a concept, it was something that all people should be familiar with. It was a normal part of human life, and at the surface it seemed like a straightforward idea: if two people were interested in each other, they should seek out time to be together and get to know one another, thus hopefully further developing that interest into something more.

For Killian, however, dating was a foreign concept. Part of that was thanks to his roughish ways. He’d been so young when his mother died and had dedicated his life to seeking out justice, there wasn’t exactly time to pursue a relationship. By the time their battle had been fought, Killian was exhausted, wary, and resigned to a life of being totally alone. But even if things had gone well, even if he had had an ordinary shifter life, dating would still be somewhat of a mystery.

As a shifter there were certain built in bits of knowledge one always carried, and arguably the most important was the meaning behind true mates and their placement in each other’s lives. The instant attraction, recognition, and bond that came when mates met made typical human dating somewhat obsolete, at least the first phases of it. The weight of meaning that a first date carried in human culture wasn’t present in shifter circles, because the anxiety of trying to figure out if something would work wasn’t there. When destiny was a guiding light in the bond of mates, things were different. Mates craved connection to be sure, and they sought out time to be alone and together more than most, but there was never that stress of what would come next, and so, for the first time in his life, Killian was facing the first date jitters so many humans must feel all the time.

“There’s no need to be nervous,” Killian said aloud to himself as he looked in the mirror, adjusting the last of his clothing so it looked just right. “Emma is mine just as I am hers. She just doesn’t know it yet.”

The thought calmed his frayed nerves, but nothing could fully calm him. Since he asked Emma out for this evening he’d been in tumult. Part of him was anxious for this and nervous that he would somehow be found lacking or that he wouldn’t be enough for Emma. She deserved an amazing date, and an amazing story (something humans always seemed rather fixated with, at least in the movies and shows Killian had seen on the subject), and Killian wanted to give that to her but he wasn’t entirely sure how. The other, and undoubtedly larger, part of him however was just desperate to see her again. Worry or not, Emma’s closeness to him would ease away any nerves or doubts that he had. She was the remedy to his very worst feelings, and he knew that if he could just muster up a little faith, he would find that this evening went every bit as well as he was hoping.

What may have appeared like a sudden invitation to Emma earlier this afternoon was hardly that. Killian had been planning for days how exactly to woo his woman, and eventually he’d decided on a course of action. Again, he was a novice at this, so first hand experience could provide very little information, but in all of his planning and hoping and ironing out of details, Killian had held his mother’s memory close. Of all the people in his life, she was the one who somehow believed in love most. Despite everything she dealt with from Killian’s father and from life itself, she never gave up on love, and she never stopped believing the magic true love could bring was out there…

Walking through the doors of his home after a long day of school, Killian took comfort in the place more than he ever thought possible.

They’d been here in London for a little more than a year, and so far things had been quiet. Killian still knew that his brother and his mother worried about the potential return of his father, but they never told him that, and they never let that worry stop them from making new, happy memories. It had been a trying year in some ways, with Killian having to adjust not only to a new school, but a new country and a new culture as well. Yet strangely he felt more at home here, half a world away, than he ever had back in America.

“Mom, I’m home. And I don’t have homework,” Killian said, starting out with the white lie purposefully. He admitted to himself that he did have homework, he just didn’t have any he was actually willing to do. It was a wasted effort though, for a moment later his mother popped her head out of the kitchen with a look that said she highly doubted that.

“Killian…”

“Fine, I might have something. But it’s dumb though.”

“I can’t believe that’s true,” his mother said as he took a seat at the kitchen table. She came over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head and gave him a hug. He accepted it, appreciating the warmth of her embrace and the way she smelled familiarly of cinnamon and vanilla. That smell had been of comfort to him since before he could remember, and he was happy they never lost it even with their running away from home.

“They want me to write a story.”

“And…?” his mother asked, still not following his hesitation. “Killian, you love stories. You can’t get enough of them.”

“Yeah but this one’s about love.”

“Ah,” his mother said, a bit of understanding crossing over her face. She wiped away the flour that had been on her hands from whatever she was baking and then she contemplated Killian’s predicament. “That is a bit more challenging. Why don’t you write about you and Liam. You love your brother, and he loves you. Just write about one of your adventures together.”

What adventures? Killian thought to himself. His brother was hardly given to excitement these days. But instead he diverted with another, more pressing problem. “It’s supposed to be romantic because of Valentine’s Day and all.”

Killian heard his mother mutter about the merits of having children write up romances, but he didn’t fully hear or understand it all. Either way she eventually disregarded her disgruntled feelings and took a seat beside him at the table.

“Okay, so why don’t you base your story off of a fairytale? You know enough of them to do one justice.”

“I know,” Killian agreed, and though he hesitated for a moment before confessing how he felt, he decided to be honest with his mother. “But it feels like a lie. Fairytales aren’t real, and love like those stories isn’t real either.”

Killian could see the hurt that his words caused his mother and he was too ashamed to keep her gaze. He looked down at his hands, angry at himself for burdening her, while also being angry at the world and his teacher. It was wrong to pretend things were as they would never be. But after only a moment his mother covered his hand in hers and urged Killian to look at her again.

“I know that you’re thinking of your father and I, Killian, and you’re right, that’s not the way love was intended to be. But just because we didn’t have love doesn’t mean no one else ever has. Your grandparents, my Mom and Dad, they had the best kind of love. They were a one in a million fated pair. Their love… well it’s the kind of dream you have to believe in, because it’s just so beautiful.”

Killian listened then as his mother outlined the tale of his grandparents. Their love was a story of finding hope in a hopeless place. His grandfather had dealt with a great loss, the loss of his brother and the rest of his family, when he was just a young man. He’d left his home without truly believing there was more out there. But one day he’d found a partner, a love, and a light for his darkened world. It turned out that she had also known hardships, but where he was doubtful and unsure, she always held on to her faith and conviction in something bigger and more beautiful than she had so far. The two of them knew from the very first moment they met that they were meant to be, and they were more than run of the mill mates. The love they had and the spark that ignited between them was so strong it left a mark on both of them the very first time they touched. His mother pulled out her pendant that she always kept close to show him the swirls and designs he already knew by heart. It appeared a kind of similar shape had been printed on their skin, brought only by the magic of a real and true love.

“Do you have a mark?” Killian asked, forgetting himself. But his mother didn’t look saddened by the question. On the contrary, she looked relieved.

“No, honey. Your father and I… we weren’t entirely normal. He thought that maybe we could make something work, whether nature deemed it destiny or not, but these things can’t be forced.”

“So you weren’t mates then?” Killian asked.

“It’s complicated, Killian, and if I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re asking not because you’re curious but because you’re trying to get out of homework.”

She used a teasing tone and coupled it with the action of tickling him, making Killian laugh and the moment of unease wash away. And when both of their giggles had ended, and they were left just with the happy aftermath, his mother’s eyes remained bright as she left him with some parting advice.

“The most important thing to remember when it comes to love is that real love heals you. It will be your guide and your compass, but you have to trust it. Even if it’s scary, you have to choose love, and you must always choose it. It’s the most important thing in the whole world. Promise me you’ll remember that, Killian.”

“I promise.” …

In the years since his mother’s passing, Killian had not done enough to keep that promise. Before her death, Killian was a boy, not fixated on love or finding forever. He’d been waiting anxiously for his first shift, not distracted by girls or the promise of a future mate. Then, after she was gone, Killian allowed himself to become jaded and angry. Even when the dust settled and he removed himself from everyone and everything he’d even known, trying to numb the pain, he still didn’t allow himself to believe the stories where love could be real. Like his grandfather before him, Killian resigned himself to a far more lonely life, but through meeting Emma he felt that renewed hope.

Looking back on it, Killian realized there was no real way to impart the feeling that came with a love like this. It didn’t matter that he was only a boy when his mother told him the story. He could be a man with no burdens and no past emotional harms and he still wouldn’t understand. Only in seeing Emma, in holding her, in knowing she was his and he was irrevocably hers could he fully grasp the magnitude of a love like this. Of course it was healing and light and blissful – it was like breathing fully after years of going without clean air. It was elemental but inspired, and even now, as he stared down an evening the likes of which he had never known, Killian still had hope, because he had Emma.

Finally, after what felt like forever spent waiting, the sun sunk low in the sky told him it was time. He could, at last, go and find Emma, and from there they’d both experience this newness together. He had it all squared away already. He’d made sure every last detail was together, and enlisted Graham and Tink to help him keep it preserved, and then he made himself presentable for his mate. It wasn’t much, and as Killian walked towards Emma’s apartment he knew that there was no comparing what he brought to this evening with what Emma brought to everything, but he still felt a lightness to his step and a pride in his heart. This was happening. He was doing this, and hopefully his instincts would prove right, providing Emma with the kind of night he deserved.

By the time Killian reached the stairs to her second floor dwelling above the clinic, his heart was pounding his chest. His body was more alive than it was on a full moon run, and his anticipation swirled in the air around him. Even a human must sense this kind of tension and desire, but when Emma opened the door to greet him, all thoughts of what she knew or thought were gone. All he could see was Emma, and all he could think was that she was the most impossibly beautiful creature he’d ever known. God, she was absolutely perfect. She was poised but still sexy in this pink dress she’d chosen, and it highlighted every last curve she had while somehow still being tasteful. Her golden curls were pulled back, exposing more creamy flesh for his viewing, and the beauty of her face was hers and hers alone. The rosy tint at her cheeks was no artifice – it was her genuine reaction, one that heated Killian through to the core and scorched him in the process.

“Hey.” Her voice were husky but still completely her own, and it told him so much though she’d only said a word.

“Emma, love, you look stunning.”

“You think?” Emma asked, biting her lip and looking down at her dress as she shifted a bit, letting the skirt flare out. She looked back up at him and though her question was sincere, Killian could tell she knew exactly how much he loved her in this dress.

“I know,” he intoned as he moved forward, offering her a single rose. Her eyes lit up at the offering and as she brought it to her nose to take in the subtle scent, Killian caught her giving him another once over.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she said with a sultry flare and Killian grin.

“Aye, I know that too.”

The point of his response was to be overly cocky, and he was rewarded for it by an eye roll from Emma even as she blushed. This was more and more interesting. It seemed that Emma liked this brand of charm, and since he had every intention of giving Emma everything she wanted, he would have to remember that for the future. For now, though, he thought he’d use her response to his advantage. He moved closer to her, taking her into his arms and moving in so he was only an inch away from her lips.

“I also know that I’m only so strong, Emma. I waited so long for this evening to come, but on one thing I can’t hold back.”

Their lips met at his promise, and Emma didn’t need words to tell him that she agreed with his plan. Waiting for the end of the evening to kiss her senseless simply wasn’t an option. He had to have her, had to taste her, and feel her in his arms right now. After a moment spent in this glorious state of heaven he would pull back, but he needed this connection to hold onto. It was like an anchor that couldn’t be denied.

“I think I like it when you don’t hold back,” Emma murmured when they came up for air, and Killian felt a low growl emit from his chest. Seeing her like this made him crave more, and in the back of his mind he thought about how they were, at most, twenty feet from a bed where he could take her and make her his. But instead he clung to reason and to the path he knew she deserved.

“Shall we, love?” he asked, offering her his hand and she accepted it, taking one last sweep of her apartment before locking up and heading down the stairs with him watching to make sure she was safe all the way.

“It must be rather convenient to be so close to the clinic,” Killian mused as they made it down on solid ground again. He took stock of their surroundings and couldn’t help the smile that formed when he thought of seeing her earlier today. Stealing away that moment of time was lovely, as was getting the chance to see a place that meant so much to her. There was, of course, the hiccup with her father, but that was nothing compared to the good of seeing and being with Emma.

“Ha! That’s one way to put it.” Emma’s eyes scanned the area critically, like she was half afraid that someone would pounce on them.

“You see it differently?”

“I see that while this is the ideal location for a morning commute, it’s not exactly -,” a light at the door of the clinic went on then and Emma groaned before finishing her thought. “Private.”

Again Killian was in a situation where he should arguably have seen this coming. If he wasn’t so taken with Emma, he might have been able to give her some warning that this thing she feared was coming. But when Emma’s father and the small woman he knew to be her mother exited the clinic, stumbling upon them hand in hand, Killian wondered if he ever stood a chance. Mary Margaret Nolan had a reputation that proceeded her, and from everything he had heard from Emma and for others, he would not put it past her to be a master of slipping by without detection. Human or not, Killian reasoned that any mother of Emma’s must be a fearsome thing to behold, but she came wrapped in a happy, friendly package here in this moment.

“Oh, Emma. There you are. We didn’t expect to see you.”

“Didn’t you?” Emma grumbled and Killian tried his best not to laugh aloud. As awkward as this situation could have been, he could feel nothing like discomfort. Instead he sought to sooth Emma with a look and a last squeeze of her hand before he offered his in greeting for her mother.

“I don’t believe we’ve met, Ma’am. Killian Jones.”

“Mary Margaret Nolan,” she said, sounding thoroughly charmed. Her voice held a tone that was chipper and fresh, as if a long day of work hadn’t passed her by. “You know my husband, David.”

Killian and Emma’s father shared a knowing nod, and in David Nolan’s gaze Killian could sense a number of things. There was the protectiveness of a father, who was fiercely dedicated to his only daughter, but there was also a bit of apology for his wife. This transparent ploy to meet him which was being played off as accidental obviously wasn’t David’s idea, but Killian respected a man who did what he could to make his partner happy. Since he had every intention of doing that for Emma, he could more than empathize. He just wondered if Emma would be a similar kind of meddler to her mother. When they had children, what roles would they play? That thought was a rabbit hole that could lead him into a string of fantasies all evening, so he shook them away, reminding himself not to move too quickly and to stay in the moment.

“So, might I ask where you two are headed off to tonight?” The question from Emma’s father was mild and calm on the surface, but Killian could tell it was also a test. He wanted to make sure his daughter was getting her due respect. Killian only wished he could make Doctor Nolan see that she would always find that in Killian.

“It’s actually a bit of a surprise,” Killian confessed, his free hand coming up to scratch behind his ear. When he looked at Emma she was smiling at his tiny display of bashfulness and immediately he felt relief. Despite her current discomfort, Emma was still happy and still with him, and that meant more than anything else.

“Don’t worry, Charming. Graham told me all about it, I’ll fill you in later.” Mary Margaret made the promise to her husband before turning to address Emma and Killian once more. “Now you two go have a wonderful time. And Killian, make sure Emma brings you over for Sunday dinner this week. We’d just love to get to know you better.”

Killian heard the strangled sound of shock that came from Emma at her mother’s words, but her parents had left, heading in the opposite direction before she could speak. Such an invitation was big and bold. It also instilled a lot of faith in Killian and Emma’s connection. This was their first date, but for some reason Mrs. Nolan believed this wouldn’t be their only one. She was, it seemed, so certain that he was being invited to a family event, and while Killian was all too willing to oblige, wanting that intimacy with Emma as soon as he could have it, he would never rush Emma into something she wasn’t ready for.

“I can’t believe she just did that,” Emma stated, her lingering dismay apparent as her brow furrowed. “I’m so so sorry.”

“Don’t be, love. I haven’t had a chance for family togetherness in years. I’d love to join you, if you’re up to having me of course. But perhaps we should make it through this date before committing to such an outing.”

“You’re seriously okay?” Emma asked, as they started walking towards their final destination. “You’re not totally freaked out by my overbearing parents. I mean they were waiting for us. You realize that, right?”

“I do, but no I’m not ‘freaked out.’ Your family is a part of you, Emma. They are the people in your life who matter most. For that reason I want to know them, and whenever you’re ready, I’m hoping to get that chance.”

A quiet moment passed between the two of them where Emma seemed lost to her own thoughts. Killian knew his words packed a powerful meaning, and he hoped that she knew he was speaking in earnest. It might be a lot to confess, for it implied that he saw a substantial future between the two of them, but it felt right. To assure Emma that she need not worry, he had to be honest with her, and eventually she spoke again, confessing her own thoughts in the process.

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re actually real.”

“I can assure you I am, love. But if it makes you feel better, I feel the same about you. To go from what I’ve always known to life with you in it has been a transformation. It’s hard to imagine something like this exists.”

Emma smiled at that, leaning in closer to him. Their bodies were melded together as they walked in the direction of the beach, and it felt so natural. This might be their first time on such an outing and with such a blatant display being together, but Killian could picture doing this for all his years to come. Walking down the main streets of Storybrooke with his Emma’s hand in his was intoxicating, and though they had to brave the looks and inquiries of some of their neighbors, Killian was proud to be seen with Emma at his side, and even happier to know that by morning everyone would know the two of them were together.

“So Graham knows about this? How? Why?” Emma asked as they drew closer to the beach.

“I needed his help in securing things.”

“So you’re, what, friends now?” Emma asked, shocked but not hiding her contentment at the fact that whatever their old issue was was now resolved.

“We have an understanding,” Killian said with a shrug. That was the truth after all. Killian couldn’t exactly picture himself grabbing a beer with Graham any time soon, but the hostility was gone and a truce had been secured.

“Right. Well I smell a bromance coming on, because this is a complete one-eighty.”

Killian laughed at her joke and it was full and long, the kind of laugh he’d been denied for ages. Still they were normal when he was in Emma’s company. She was smart and funny and she had a way with words that got him every time, but though he loved to linger in the happiness she brought him, he sobered up when they got to the spot just before his plan would become visible. In doing so he managed to hear every part of Emma’s reaction, from the gasp of surprise to the way her heart beat skipped and she hummed out a happy sound of satisfaction.

“Wow. This is… gorgeous.” Emma said, looking at the cove out here on the beach that was sectioned off for them.

On the sands there were blankets and cushions set up for a picnic as well as all the food and drink they’d need. He’d packed everything that he thought Emma would want and then some, wanting to be prepared for whatever may come. The main attraction tonight would be the sunset, which while not happening directly over the water, would paint the clouds on the horizon in brilliant shades of pink and orange. But in preparation for when that was done, Killian had set up candles and a few old-fashioned lanterns for them. The candles were nestled in the rock linings of the cove, and he was happy they’d lasted in his time away. As he’d expected the walls of the place protected the flames from too much breeze. Either that or Tink had been by to keep an eye on them.

“You really did all this for me?” Emma asked, her voice unsure. Killian turned to her, seeing how overwhelmed she was by emotion. Her eyes were misty but bright with a want and desire. They told Killian that she loved what she saw, she just couldn’t quite believe it was real. As such it was up to him to prove it to her and to make her see that this was all real and all for her.

“I would do so much more, Emma,” Killian promised as he brought her hand up to kiss gently. “This is only the start.”

From there, Killian acted out the plan he’d been clinging to for days. He led Emma to the picnic he’d procured for their meal, watching with delight as she reacted to each choice. It seemed the intel he’d collected had been correct about what Emma might like in this situation, and he largely had Elsa and Anna to thank for that (for both sisters had been very forthcoming with Emma’s preferences after being there when he asked her out). He made a mental note to tell them how much he appreciated their help, but it was only a fleeting thought, as his focus remained solely on Emma and their lively, enjoyable conversation.

In choosing a picnic set up, the obvious thought of an outsider was likely that this was a romantic ploy, and in part it was. Killian wanted Emma to have something different and special. He wanted them to share a story that was sweet for their first date together, but this set up also paved the way for seduction as well. Seated together side by side and somehow always touching, a picnic felt more intimate than dinner at a table or in a booth. It enabled Killian to linger in Emma’s direct presence, and as the meal unfolded they both grew bolder in their closeness and connection. Soft grazes moved to more defined touch, and though there was still an innocence that hung around them as they sought more pieces to the puzzles of their lives before meeting, there was also a growing flame between them to match the candlelight all around.

“So your mother calls your father ‘Charming,’” Killian commented at one point when they’d moved on from dinner and into dessert. The sun had set by this point, and they were nestled underneath a twilight sky, but as the day faded, a new light shone on Emma that was just as beautiful as the one before it. It was effervescent and captivating in a whole new way, and it spoke to the light of the moon that would be coming soon, which Killian couldn’t wait to see.  “Is there a reason for that particular moniker?”

“It’s an inside joke,” Emma explained with a laugh as she cuddled in closer to him, not having any care or worry for being too close despite it being their first date. “I know it doesn’t seem this way, given how she is today, but my mom was somewhat of a hell-raiser in her youth. At least that’s what Dad tells me.”

“I can see that,” Killian acknowledged and when Emma peered up at him he clarified. “She had to learn those sneaking skills from somewhere.”

Emma laughed and the reverberation of it went through Killian. For a second he closed his eyes, soaking it in and he inhaled he was surrounded again by her sweet, luscious scent. It was the perfect mixture, made even more luxurious by the feel of her fingers tracing unknown shapes against his arm, and when he opened his eyes again, he looked back down at her and awaited her story.

“Very true. Well anyway, when my Mom and Dad first met at college, Mom was going about her business, completely oblivious to guys and dating and all of that. Where everyone else was there to party, she was there to build a future for herself. She wanted to take the world by storm, and she was squarely determined not to fall in love or get attached to anyone until she’d done that. You see she’d recently lost her father, and her stepmother was… difficult to put it nicely.

“Anyway so it’s the first week of school. My Mom is taking all honors courses and already kicking ass, and she’s so busy with all her work that she doesn’t realize she’s got an ardent admirer.”

“Your father?” Killian asked and Emma nodded.

“Oh yeah. Turns out he saw her at orientation and just knew, and he couldn’t really figure out how to make his move. Finally he goes up to her and tries to talk to her, but she tells him flat out she’s not interested.”

“Only she absolutely was.”

“Totally,” Emma agreed. “She just didn’t want to admit it. But my Dad respects her wishes. He gives her some time, but not a ton of space. He keeps popping up places, and apparently every time they run into each other he’s got some witty, charming thing to say. Of course my Mom secretly loved it, but she tried to deflect and she dubbed him ‘Prince Charming’ and not in a good way.”

“Ah, so she worried he was too good to be true then.”

“Exactly,” Emma said with a soft, thoughtful smile, as if the story of her parents love occupied a special place in her heart. “Luckily for both of them she caved a week later and let him take her out. Then he turned out to be exactly who he said he was, but the name still stuck. They finished college and grad school, Dad started his practice while Mom worked for the town and still he was her ‘Charming.’ When I was a little girl they even made a whole to do about me being a princess. If my father was a prince then obviously I was royalty too.”

“I’m sure the world has never known a better princess,” Killian said and he watched as Emma blushed at his compliment.

“What about you? Do you have any family?”

“I did,” Killian whispered, and though he felt the pain of his loss, it wasn’t as bad as when he was alone. Emma’s being here helped him, and the weight of that ugliness didn’t have the chance to settle or stay when she was here. “A mother and a brother, but they’re gone now.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It was a long time ago,” Killian reasoned, but Emma saw through that.

“But you still miss them.”

“Aye, I do,” he confessed. “But I carry them with me, and I know now that things happen the way they do for a reason.”

“That’s very mature of you,” Emma said, and he gave her a small smile. “I’m sure it took a lot of work and thought and faith for you to come to that realization. I can’t even imagine…”

“Alas it’s a realization I’ve only just stumbled upon. In fact, it took meeting you to really accept it.”

“Do you believe in fate?” Emma asked, not shying away from his words, but rather jumping to a new level Killian never expected to encounter tonight. This was early days, and for humans such deep talk would likely be frowned upon, but Emma seemed eager to ask and he was more than willing to oblige her. Her hand had come up to his chest, resting above his heart and she was close enough that he could feel her breath against his cheek as he replied.

“I do. And if I didn’t before I certainly would now.” He left unsaid the fact that she was the source of all of his hope, but somehow he knew she understood him. He didn’t need to confess everything, because the bond they already had without even cementing their mated status was stronger than anything he’d ever known before.

“I just feel like I know you, or maybe like I’m supposed to know you? I don’t know it’s hard to explain but it’s also simple…”

“It’s like everything is new and familiar at once.”

“Yeah,” Emma murmured. “We barely know each other, but it doesn’t feel that way. We met and I instantly knew that you matter and you matter to me especially. I don’t know why or how but I know that you fit in my life and in my world. It’s like you found me, but I didn’t even realize that I needed to be found.”

Her words made Killian shiver slightly because they were so powerful and profound. They were an exact reflection of his thoughts about her, but they meant so much more because he never expected them to come. With Emma’s being human he imagined things would be so different, but here she was confessing that she was nearly as wrapped up in him as he was with her. Yet underneath his gratitude and growing love for his mate, there was a tiny thrum of anxiety: this recognition and this sense of rightness had everything to do with his being a shifter and their being a fated pair, but she didn’t realize that.

Emma didn’t know the whole truth of who or what he was and what this was by proxy. She also didn’t know that he had found her before, and that this wasn’t the first time they’d crossed paths. They’d met in Boston years ago, during a time she’d begun to talk about tonight that he knew had been so hard for her, and she’d made an impact on him even then. Surely he must have done the same since he was a wolf and one whose presence and power defied human logic or explanation. Still, while he wanted to come clean and confess everything to her, Killian couldn’t bring himself to do it right now. Maybe that was selfish of him, but for some reason his heart told him that it still wasn’t the right moment. As much progress as they’d made the past few days, they still needed more time, and though it hurt him to keep things from Emma, he had to trust his instincts, which had gotten him this far and to this perfect woman.

“I feel the same way, Emma. I know it’s fast, and maybe you think it’s far too soon to be making such statements, but you mean…” he hesitated but ultimately decided to confess as much as he could. “You mean everything, love. I’ve been anchorless in recent years, wandering and wondering what it all means and what my purpose really should be. But in meeting you I feel like I’ve found that. I know I am exactly where I’m meant to be, and though I don’t know exactly what the future holds, I find myself hoping and praying that whatever is in store we’ll see it through, together.”

Emma’s eyes were brimming with emotion and Killian didn’t know what she would say to respond, so when she pulled him down for a kiss he was relieved and ecstatic all at once.  Feeling her acceptance and tasting her agreement and desire first hand was indescribable, and in the face of her want for him, Killian let rational thought flee for quite a while. The kiss grew deeper, hotter, and more demanding. The two of them were intertwined more fully, neither wanting even the tiniest bit of space, but just when things were about to dip into more intimacy than was right, Killian pulled back and Emma did the same. Without conversing aloud, they both knew how far this could go, and whether that was the mating bond or a shared concern for seeing this miraculous connection preserved, Killian couldn’t say. He could only think that he was the luckiest of men to be living out this beautiful dream in real time.

“So in this future you were picturing… do you stay in Storybrooke past the summer?”

Though Emma’s breath was shaky from the kisses they’d shared, Killian could still hear the slight sense of bashfulness her question prompted her to feel. She didn’t want to be digging for more it seemed, but Killian immediately set out to ease her fears and worrying and he did so while pushing back a strand of her golden hair that had fallen out during their heated exchange.

“I stay as long as you want me here,” Wherever you are, there too will I be, he thought to himself.

“Well after tonight I can see that being quite a while…” Emma said with a smile that drove him half mad. There were just so many layers: her relief that he was staying, her hope for the future, but also this air of teasing and knowing exactly the kind of effect she had on him that wasn’t bloody fair. It was the smile of a siren, and it fit exactly with the challenge she laid before him. “Do you think you can handle it?”

“Aye, love. In more ways than you know.”

With that promise they gave into another heated embrace out there underneath a growing moon. It was steamy and surreal and so utterly serene that Killian wished it would never end. But eventually the end of the evening did come. Their private cove under the stars must be left, and Killian saw that Emma made it back home safe and sound. And though it was hard to say goodbye, harder than nearly anything he’d ever done before, Killian was assured that he would never really say goodbye to Emma. For in finding her he had cemented his future, and though he couldn’t say exactly how it would all turn out, he knew it would be everything because he’d have his one true mate.

Post-Note: So there we have it. I hope this first date chapter lived up to people’s expectations and I am really excited to see what you guys think! Now for the bad news… because of all the other chapters I have planned to post in the next few weeks it’s going to take a little longer to get the next chapter to you guys. Instead of two weeks from today, it will likely be three. BUT, despite having started up at school again, I have managed to write up through chapter 11 of the fic, and I have got big big pay offs coming when I can eventually post. Hope you guys will forgive the extra time off. Either way thank you all so much for reading and I hope you have a great rest of your day!

Tag list (if you would like to be added, please let me know): @jennjenn615 @resident-of-storybrooke @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @teamhook @ultraluckycatnd @artistic-writer @coliferoncer @snowbellewells @snarkycaptainswan4 @allofdafandoms-blog @eastside-divebar

[metalandmagi]

October Media Madness!

It’s the last day of the month, so you know what that means! What-no not Halloween! It’s time to see how one person wasted their time this month by keeping track of all the media they consumed! And if you thought October would mean a lot of horror movies and books and TV shows...you are going to be very disappointed because I’m a fucking wimp who hates horror.

September media

Movies!

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: Scott Pilgrim, aka the most intentionally unlikable protagonist ever, has to defeat the seven evil ex-boy...uh I mean exes of the cool girl he’s dating. Yeah, I’m super late to the Edgar Wright party, but since this movie was finally available on Netflix I figured it was time. And it’s pretty good aside from the fact that Scott is the worst. But at least he owns up to it in the end. It’s crazy over the top ridiculous, has tons of little details that film theorists love to salivate over, and Scott’s roommate Wallace is hilarious. I just wish I could hear what Michael Cera says half the time. Oh well, there’s nothing good or bad I can say about this movie that hasn’t been said before. 8/10

Coraline: Coraline Jones, an imaginative young girl with inattentive parents who has just moved into a new apartment, discovers a secret door that leads to a world where everything is better, and everyone has buttons for eyes. However, under the perfect exterior, things are more sinister than they seem. I got the urge to re-watch this because it’s freaking October, and although I don’t watch horror movies, I felt obligated to watch something at least kind of Halloween-ish. And I stand by my long held opinion that this is the all time creepiest movie marketed for children ever made. Literally everything about this movie is creepy. There’s creepy music, creepy dolls being made and following people around, creepy cats, creepy people with buttons for eyes, creepy ghosts of children, creepy children with their mouths shown shut...the list is endless. And Laika never fails to make beautifully animated stop motion. 9/10

Sierra Burgess is a Loser: The latest film in Netflix’s attempt to dominate the rom-com genre, in which an unpopular high school girl ends up texting a handsome jock while leading him to believe he is texting a gorgeous cheerleader named Veronica who also goes to her school.

Okay, this isn’t a bad movie, so let me start with the good. I appreciate the message of how you need to make yourself stand out to colleges and how high school in general is becoming a toxic competitive environment. There’s a lot of good material about living up to expectations and stereotypes, both from Sierra’s side and her partner in crime Veronica’s. And speaking of Veronica, I was completely blindsided by how much of a great character she was and how much she grew throughout the film. I also liked Sierra’s best friend and the love interest, even if they were a little generic.

That being said...I didn’t like Sierra. When main characters intentionally lead people on for no good reason (and thinking some guy you’ve just met isn’t going to text you back because you’re not “conventionally attractive” is not a good reason) it annoys the hell out of me. Not only does she lie through texting him, but she and Veronica lie to his face multiple times. She also does something really horrible to Veronica because of a misunderstanding that could have been avoided if she taken five seconds to use some common sense. She also thinks she’s above doing a simple homework assignment for her poetry class because she wants to be different. I realize she needs to stand out in order to get recommendations for college, but come on. And finally, when she’s upset about how she looks, she blames her parents because her mom is attractive??? Yes it is frustrating to have these brilliant “conventionally attractive” parents, but they always try to build her up, as opposed to Veronica’s mother who only tears her down. I DID NOT HATE HER CHARACTER, but I think she could have been portrayed better. The other major thing that bothered me is that there is the complete lack of proper conflict resolution. All the problems and hurt feelings just magically go away in order to have a happy ending. Overall, the movie’s just okay. 7/10

Howl’s Moving Castle: Sophie, an ordinary girl who gets cursed by a witch, turns into an old woman and ends up working for a wizard who steals hearts. It feels like Studio Ghibli’s version of beauty and the beast, except Howl is the beauty with a questionable personality, and Sophie is the “beast” who whips him into shape...until the second half of the movie anyway. I’d prefer to watch an entire movie of old woman Sophie interacting with the other characters rather than deal with the war aspect of the plot. Anyway, the animation is awesome, and I appreciate the English voice cast...except for the fact that no one had the good sense to use Crispin Freeman as Howl instead of just having him as Turnip-Head! I know lots of people have talked about the differences between the book and the movie, but I like how the movie portrays that even though being old is physically painful, it can also be emotionally freeing. Either way I think Sophie is a great character with a fun sense of humor! 8/10

First Man: The story of Neil Armstrong and the years leading up to the moon landing...which apparently a lot of people didn’t like? Some people are butthurt about there not being a shot of planting the flag (which if they actually saw the movie they would know the focus of the scenes on the moon were to show Armstrong dealing with wonder and grief, NOT rallying together as Americans). Some people are unhappy that an American hero can be portrayed so negatively, and some people just thought it was boring and dragged a lot…

Okay, yes, the movie is a drama that does not portray Armstrong in a glowing light, and yes there are certain scenes that go on too long. BUT I really liked this movie...and this is coming from someone who doesn’t like Ryan Gosling. It is a family drama that captures how different people respond to grief and stress set in the backdrop of the space race. I also liked learning about this period in history and the controversy around the space program in general. It was beautifully shot and had very creative music choices, which was the main reason I saw it in theaters. I came away from it awed and terrified that we basically sent these people to the moon in freaking tin cans, and that in the sixties men shunned their emotions so much that they wouldn’t hug their children before going to space! Overall, it was good in a solid way, but it did drag a bit. 7.5/10

Mama Mia: Another protagonist named Sophie is getting married and invites the three men who could each possibly be her father to the wedding. But who cares about the plot, the main purpose of the film is to show women having fun with their friends! This movie...isn’t exactly good, but it 100% knows what it wants to be and accomplishes that. It’s a wacky, ridiculous, musical romp that people only watch with their friends when they’re plastered because they want to hear ABBA songs. It’s the very definition of a guilty pleasure movie, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I will say that it’s harder for me to relate to because I don’t have friends that I act this ridiculous with, and sometimes it gets to be a bit much. Although, I have seen the Broadway musical and remember absolutely loving every minute of it...so maybe it’s just the movie overplaying it. Oh well, it’s just something fun to have on in the background or watch when you need cheering up! It’s a 9/10 for being accomplishing what it wants and a 6/10 as an actual movie.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: In this Marvel filler episode between Infinity War and Captain Marvel, Scott is under house arrest and Hope tries to get her mother out of the quantum realm. Okay, this was a fun movie with some great moments, but it definitely had its issues. For a movie called Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two did not do much fighting together...or at all until the end. It felt more like an origin to their partnership than a team up movie (and I’d rather have a Wasp and Black Widow team up movie...or all the Marvel women team up movie). It also couldn’t figure out who the villain should be. It’s like they realized half way through writing it that Ghost was way too sympathetic and cool and had to come up with a bunch of more forgettable villains. And because this was more of a hot potato rather than a heist, I didn’t think it was as fun as the first movie overall. HOWEVER I still really enjoyed the inventive action and the characters. I will always watch 2 hours of Evangeline Lilly kicking ass, and Paul Rudd being himself. And I am convinced that Marvel is using The Adventure Zone route of needing competent women to solve everyone’s problems. But the heart of the movie is really family. Hank and Hope, Scott and his daughter, and even Ghost all had very compelling stories that drew me in every time. And that post credits scene...I knew it was coming, but come on! Marvel is the only current studio who can basically do a horror movie “The End…?” in their credits now. 7.5/10

The Chronicles of Narnia-The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe: The Disney version of the classic C.S. Lewis book; come on we all know the story. Okay, I watched this for the first time in several years because I also read the book this month. And holy cow, when you see what material the movie had to work with, this is a freaking masterpiece. It takes a very simple children’s book and turns it into an epic fantasy! The score, the little details, and the setting are all perfect. All the characters are so real and fleshed out AND ACCURATELY PORTRAYED FOR THEIR AGES! All four siblings are struggling with something, and the actors do a great job considering they were actual children while making this! I am so angry that Disney let this property’s potential slip through their fingers because I truly believe that if they kept making movies like this, it could have been their Harry Potter by now. Prince Caspian was also excellent, though I don’t remember much of Dawn Treader, but I think if they put the money and effort into continuing this franchise it could have been great.

One thing I don’t appreciate about the movie is how they reduce Edmund’s mental journey. I have always especially loved Edmund as a character, and something the movie fails to mention is the fact that APPARENTLY in the book the Turkish Delight is enchanted to make whoever eats it think only of eating more and more until THEY EAT SO MUCH THAT THEY DIE?! He’s not just a greedy kid. And there’s a lot more to his time with the Witch that makes his actions easier to understand. Anyway it definitely goes down as one of the best book to movie adaptations I’ve ever seen, and it is on my very short list of movies that are better than the books. 10/10

Books!

The Chronicles of Narnia- The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis: It’s the first Narnia book; we all know the plot. I am one of the many people who had this series read to them as a kid, but it’s been like...eleven years since I actually read these books for myself. Even then I only got to The Horse and His Boy before stopping because it was boring as hell. I’ve been wanting to re-read the series all year, and with only the Disney movies in recent memory, imagine my surprise when I found out that Lewis’s writing style is absolutely bananas! I think he’s acting as some omniscient narrator, but his style is so stream of consciousness it’s hilarious! He constantly addresses the audience in these 2007 fanfiction author-esque asides. The Pevensies are the most posh, old-timey sounding British kids ever, and it’s amazing to visualize children that actually speak like this. Everything happens so quickly because it is 100% meant to be a children’s story, not this epic adventure we all associate with the movies. So...if you’ve never read it before definitely check it out just to discover how utterly wild everything is. My only real complaint is that it’s kinda sexist, and no one except for Edmund gets a character arc. Even though Susan gets a bow and Lucy gets a dagger, they’re treated like they shouldn’t be fighting because they’re girls and not...oh I don’t know...because they’re children! 7/10

The Ladies Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzie Lee: The second installment of...idk...the “Guide” series? I talked about the first book, The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue in my May Media Madness, and this book is just as good! This series takes place in the 1700s, and while the first book follows arrogant bisexual disaster Monty, his (boy)friend Percy, and his sister Felicity through a romp across Europe, this book follows Felicity and her friends on a...let’s just say “scientific expedition” involving pirates. The less you know about the plot going in the better. And did I mention her friends include a badass Muslim pirate princess and an Elle Woods-esque dog loving naturalist? And also did I mention Felicity is CANONICALLY revealed as ARO/ACE?! It’s strongly hinted at in the first book, and in this book Mackenzi Lee basically shoves any doubt about it out the window. It’s fun, hilarious, and also heartbreaking at the same because of all the challenges each character faces because they’re ambitious women in this time period. Sometimes it feels a little heavy handed in its feminist messages, but you can’t deny it’s not accurate. I’m really only saying that because I am a woman, and the struggles are nothing I haven’t seen or read before.  Anyway, this is a fantastic series that I highly recommend to anyone looking for a fun read, and it gets bonus points for including Monty and Percy being disgustingly in love together! 1000/10

Dear Evan Hansen the Novel by Val Emmich (and also Steven Levenson, Benj Pasek, and Justin Paul):

Buckle up.

I really love the Dear Evan Hansen musical (which I talked about in my August Media Madness.) The novel is almost a word for word adaptation of the musical, in which Evan, a teenager with anxiety, writes a letter to himself that is stolen by a boy who commits suicide, leading everyone to believe Evan and the boy, Connor, were best friends because they assume Connor wrote the letter to Evan. There is a lot I could say about this adaptation, but the number one thing is: I really don’t know if people who haven’t seen the musical or heard the soundtrack will like it as much. The strength of Dear Evan Hansen is mainly in its performances and its music, and while they tried to work the music in as best they could, I enjoyed the story more because I can link it back to the actors’ performances. Yes, the story is interesting and the message is important, but I honestly don’t know how much people going in blind will like the writing and how the characters are portrayed. Overall, it seemed like a well written fanfic- in a good way, not a Harry Potter and the Cursed Child way. That being said, I did really enjoy a lot of things about this book. They expanded on a lot about Evan’s relationship with his absent father and the aftermath of the big lie. They also expanded on a lot about Connor…

I honestly don’t know how I feel about Ghost Connor. Yes, I’m glad Connor shows up as a ghost in the book. What he doesn’t do is ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH EVAN...LIKE AT ALL! The best parts of the show are when Connor, as a figment of Evan’s imagination acts as a comedic buffer and his “moral center.” However, here ghost Connor exists to give snippets of Connor’s life. He barely comments on what Evan is doing at all even though he sees everything. All of Connor’s sections made me feel like the author was going through the DEH tag on AO3 and picking things to throw in. I liked his sections, but the writers really missed the more entertaining story of having Connor actually commenting about the shit Evan is doing.

So overall, I’d say watch the musical if you can find a bootleg, or at least listen to the soundtrack and then read the book. It was very enjoyable, although I think the ending dragged a bit in its quest to give more closure than the musical. 8.5/10

Bonus Manga

Shimanami Tasogare: Tasuku Kaname, a closeted boy starting his first year of high school meets a mysterious woman named Anonymous who helps him finds solace in a lounge run by other members of the LGBT+ community. This is the kind of manga that really hits and misses for me. It does a great job at portraying the struggles of a community with different sexualities and gender identities, and it has some really great characters and beautiful moments that I really think would be even better animated. But there are some character arcs that I feel are really...incomplete. It feels like the author was rushed into finishing the manga and did the best they could, but certain characters come off as major hypocrites or suddenly act like their arcs never happened. I also appreciate having an asexual character play such a big role, but the chapter where she talks about her identity as a person is just kind of...bizarre. Not to mention I barely understood what was happening for the first couple chapters because everything Anonymous says is so vague. There’s a lot I could say about this manga, but really I think it’s something everyone should read for themselves (and you’ll definitely need your tissue boxes). 8/10

TV Shows!

Arrested Development: “The story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.” Aka Ron Howard narrates the shenanigans of the worst people you’ll ever see. Yes, I finally got around to watching this, and yes the first three seasons are hilarious. It’s got the same beats as a soap opera (twins, adoption, losing limbs in seal attacks), but in a sitcom format it’s genius. The fourth and fifth (or at least what there is of the fifth) are just nothing special in my opinion. I thought the fourth season was structured terribly, and once the family starts getting into politics the show tries to be a form of satire that just doesn’t work for it. Plus I live with a family of Trump supporters; so it’s not as funny when you have to live with the racist people the show is making fun of who take all the “wall” stuff seriously. 8/10

Documental: A Japanese...social experiment/documentary/game show type thing on Amazon Prime wherein 10 comedians all get locked in a room together and attempt to make each other laugh without laughing themselves. The twist is each of them contribute 1 million yen to play, and the winner gets the pot of 10 million yen. In the first season, the show is more interesting as a social experiment than it is funny. You’ll like it if you like Japanese comedy. But the thing about Japanese comedy is...well, just picture an episode of Osomatsu-san, with all the disgusting and bizarre shit they do, and then picture real people. Though I do love seeing the faces everyone makes when they’re trying not to laugh! HOWEVER, the second season is so much better. I was laughing so much every episode that it hardly felt like the same show. They also changed the format a little so there would definitely be a winner at the end of the time. There’s still gross weird shit, but it’s a much better season. I give season 1 a 6/10 and season 2 an 8.5/10

Over the Garden Wall: In case you’ve been skipping the entire season of autumn since 2014, OTGW is a 10 episode miniseries that aired on Cartoon Network detailing the journey of two brothers Wirt and Greg who are lost in a mysterious wood called “The Unknown.” But really the whole thing is like a stuck in Purgatory story. It’s one of those shows that goes from adorable and funny to dark as fuck real quick. I think it’s impossible to go through the fall season without watching this at least once. This is another one of those things where there’s nothing I can say about it that hasn’t already been said. The atmosphere is perfect for Halloween, the characters are great (Elijah Wood voices Wirt, and it’s the best), and there are so many hidden clues that after it aired we all demanded a Gravity Falls crossover…

I could go on. This show is perfect except for the unnecessarily silly school teacher episode...and fact that it goes by too fast...and also the fact that now I know Elijah Wood has an adorable singing voice, and I’m salty that he didn’t really sing in Lord of the Rings. This is the atmospheric “watch it once a year” type of show that we desperately need more of...it doesn’t have to be the same characters or even have the same messages, but dang it Cartoon Network you can’t just give us this masterpiece and walk away!!! 10/10

Yuri On Ice: Yes, the figure skating anime. This is Tumblr so I doubt I need to post the summary of the show, but I do talk about it in my Hufflepuff Anime recommendations post. Since I couldn’t watch the Yuri On Ice marathon (which was coincidentally held on my birthday!) I decided to have my own dang marathon. There’s just so much to love about this anime: the music, the animation, the characters, the diversity, the humor, and the accuracy to the sport. But I think the main reason I love this show so much is because, as someone who watches a lot of sports anime, I really appreciate this show doing something different and focusing on ADULTS WHO ACTUALLY RELY ON THE SPORT AS A CAREER and using drama that way instead of the main source of angst being “we have to win the match for our senpai!” This is one of those shows you can watch a million times and still find new things to love! 10/10

Podcasts!

I don’t know why I made a separate section for this, since I only listened to one.

Hey Riddle Riddle: A podcast with three hosts that go talk about riddles and puzzles (aka puzzies and riddies) and role play various ridiculous answers to them. I started listening to it because Justin McElroy was on an episode, and it was pretty funny. The podcast is interesting and entertaining, except for the fact that sometimes their role playing and improve can go on for too long, and they don’t know when to let a joke die. Also one of the co-hosts is really annoying, but the other two make up for it. 8/10

Honorable Mentions

Camp Camp released a Halloween episode called Arrival of the Torso Takers and I watched it...probably four times...I don’t have a problem.

Some shows I watch on actual television came back this fall! Bob’s Burgers, Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Fresh Off the Boat, Speechless, Modern Family (yes I still watch that), and The Good Place!

I don’t know if this was a leak or what, but there’s a new My Little Pony christmas Hearthswarming special, and guys...I thought it was pretty great. Say what you want about this show, but it knows how to do holiday episodes. Anyone who has been a fan for a long time or even fans who have fallen off the show will probably love it. It’s very sweet and never went in the direction I thought it would.

And last but not least, shout out to all the anime coming out this fall...there’s just...so much to watch...please help...