#cs first date

[tim-lucy]

CHENFORD SCENES Season 5 Episode 10 “The List”

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

If the landlord doesn’t want me fishing around in their shower vent and cold air returns, then they shouldn’t make them stink like rotting garbage. You painted over the screws so they’re hard to open? Cool. I’ll drill holes into them and get them out with a power tool because the town next to me is having a citywide garage sale and I’m sure there’s some Ryobi in there at a decent price. Your vents are coming off motherfucker, and if I find anything I swear to fucking god I am going to have both your vents and your bank account cleaned out.

[vriska-serketboard]

I’m so tired but today was really nice :)

[yundeob]

A NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD ☆ | ATEEZ SERIES

— featuring ot8!ateez in iconic HOLLYWOOD romance and rom-com movies

— TICKET BOOTH IS CLOSED! 🎟️ : the movies are about to start! all fics will have MATURE CONTENT! MDNI!

sit back, relax, grab your popcorn and tissues, and enjoy the silver screen . . .

THE PARENT TRAP ☆ | KHJ

TROPE: exes to lovers! divorced!au

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst, crack, slice of life

AS DIVORCED PARENTS to two twin daughters, you and hongjoong have your fair share of work cut out. Driving to piano lessons, cheering at hockey games, drop offs at each other’s houses, it can all be a little much. But could a relaxing summer retreat as a whole family possibly rekindle past emotions you’ve swept under the rug? . . .

— IN THEATRES

DIRTY DANCING ☆ | PSH

TROPE: bad boy!seonghwa, enemies to lovers!au , 60s!au

TAGS: nsfw, smut, angst, crack

THAT WAS THE SUMMER before JFK got shot, before the beatles came, and when you were working part time at your aunts summer resort. That was also the summer you met resident heart breaker and cocky entertainment crew member, Park Seonghwa. Remind yourself why you’re suddenly dance partners with him again? . . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

PRETTY WOMAN ☆ | JYH

TROPE: dilf!yunho x formerstripper!reader, strangers to lovers!au, contract lovers!au,

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst

LIVING IN BEVERLY HILLS comes with its perks. But for two different people such as yourself and multimillionaire business tycoon, Jeong Yunho, both of you can’t seem to find what you’re looking for in the so called ‘Land of Dreams’. So the proposal is simple really… let him spoil you with money, jewelry and clothes while in return, you stay by his side. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

MR AND MRS KANG ☆ | KYS

TROPE: marriage!au, established relationship, spy!au, assasin!au

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, ANGST, crack

WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT picture perfect suburban neighbourhood couple, Mr. and Mrs. Kang would be at each others necks trying to kill each other first. You’ve both come this far in your marriage while hiding your secret identities, but it looks like only one person can remain standing. I guess you both did promise “in sickness and in health”. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

ROMAN HOLIDAY ☆ | CS

TROPE: royalty!au, princess!reader x reporter!san, strangers to lovers!

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst

AS CROWN PRINCESS, you’re on a tightly scheduled tour of European capital cities. But after an especially rough day in Rome, you sneak out of the embassy to explore the so called Eternal City, running into no other than celebrity news reporter, Choi San, looking out for his next big royal scandal. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU ☆ | SMG

TROPE: college!au, stoner!mingi, enemies to lovers!au, fakedating(?)au, y2k aesthetic

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst, crack, slice of life

YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER Wooyoung is desperate in getting you, his older sister in college, to date so that he can finally date in highschool. The options for potential candidates are scarce, considering men flock away like birds the second you’re near. Good thing campus stoner and weirdo, Song Mingi is the same as well. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS ☆ | JWY

TROPE: fashioncolumnist!reader x advertiser!wooyoung, y2k aesthetic, fake dating(?)au, enemies to lovers!au, mutual pining

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst, crack, slice of life

LISTEN, IF IT MEANS getting a promotion at your editorial company as a news journalist instead of pop culture and lifestyle columnist, you’d do anything. And that includes pretending to be the most annoying and clingiest girlfriend to some guy for 10 whole days. But just so you know, Wooyoung likes clingy. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

ROMEO & JULIET ☆ | CJH

TROPE: unrequited love, star crossed lovers!au, mutual pining, secret romance (shakespeare be rolling in his grave rn)

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, ANGST

FOR CENTURIES, a plague of hatred and hostility has been present in the relations between the House of Choi and your own. You know you can’t be together, but yet why do you keep catching that dark haired boy staring at you so longingly? And why do you want him just as bad?. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

a/n: for updates, follow my blog! this will be a work-in-progress so I ask for your support:(🙏

taglist: @vent-stink @dazzlingstarrs @vcutparis @xpixie @potatos-on-clouds @showingmafandomlove @bibbleypoof @kpop-will-kill-me @avantalem @beabatiny @gabrielle-brugger @nsixns @amaranth1ne @stayminho @myblovedjyh @kkeshia @rebekah-reads @yoonbroom @4kwp @butterflydemons @iwaizumiismybae @soobinsputnik @stayatinykatsy @atitties @justconniez @kitten4sannie @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @cheolsthicthighs @morethingsfandom @geminiml95 @byuntrash101 @quailbagutte @syubseokie @newworldwritings @urmom26john @sleepy-kat-here @pearltinyy @hjshyhyssnmgwyjh @cursedeastern @starryunho @piratekingateez2001 @jiminbility @paumll @drinkingrumandcocacola @roomsofangel @channies-bbg-room @meanaonthemoon @teeztopia @pommelex @kiln9z @sanhwalvr @youresolivlie @edawg77 @a-0206 @summer-gyu @bvidzsoo @yoongzsmile28 @tournesol155

taglist became too long so find the second taglist here💀 no longer taking requests

[jensthwa]

we can't be friends (CS x reader).

part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.

SUMMARY:

San is your first love. He broke your heart and played with your feelings without even kissing you back when you two were in highschool. Now, many years later, you do your best to avoid crossing paths with him because there's just no way you could ever hate him, but there's also no way you two can be friends again. But his best friend is also one of your best friends, so there's only so much you can do to avoid San when he arranges a dinner you're forced to go to.

PAIRING: first love!choi san x afab reader.

GENRE: one shot (fluff, angst, smut)

WORD COUNT: 20k (yikes).

WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, unnecesary pinning, a looot of context, bad friends :(, some arguing, tension, drinking and drunk behavior, tears, making out, description of female anatomy, oral (f reciving), fingering, love making, pet names (babe, baby), flirty seonghwa, wooyoung being a little shit again but also a genius, gyuri almost commiting a crime.

NOTES: hi everyone! this is a lenghty one, i know, but trust me when I say the context is necessary to understand what reader goes through with san. also, some of this may or may not have happened to me (have fun figuring out which part) (it's quite obvious tbh). THIS IS PART OF THE SHOW AND TELL UNIVERSE BUT CAN BE READ AS A STAND ALONE, even though there's some references and characters that you can only know if you read s&t lol. this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3

POSTED: august 06 2024.

permanent taglist: @hotteokkay, @potatomountain, @fairylover68

masterlist.

You and Choi San go way back. 

Well, it's nine years way back? You were only fourteen when you first saw him. 

He moved back to your area of the city a year after you moved from an entirely different one. You thought you knew every school secret there ever was, provided by your new best friend, Gyuri, but she didn't tell you about him at all. 

She claimed that it was because he didn't cause any stir the years they studied together before and after spending a whole first period in your eighth grade classroom with him at the back of the class, silently taking notes, you couldn't phantom why.

He was great at every subject, seemed to have a lot of popular friends and was, overall, a pretty nice guy. He was also very cute, skinny but you could tell he was the kind of guy who played a sport outside of school hours and he had a cute pair of dimples that showed everytime you scanned the classroom just to lay eyes on him. 

Choi San was a perfect boy to crush on, even a perfect guy just to have as eye candy during recess. You felt really strongly about him, not really forming a full opinion although your gut told you right away you were right. There was something about him… but you only figured that something until later, next year, starting your ninth grade. 

Gyuri and you were avid readers. Precocious girls, with minds way above your age. All your teachers praised came laced with the same compliment so you both decided that was the truth. You rejoiced in it, thinking you shared things in common with the grown ups and decided that that was the key to feeling a little superior in comparison to the rest of your classmates, who neither of you liked very much. 

Until they all decided to start dating each other and you two realized you were nothing but two kids with great imaginations and a love for school, praise and fictional men that couldn't be translated to the real world without sounding delusional and weird. 

So you decided to do something about it. And so, on a random Tuesday recess, you two scanned the crowd trying to find two boys (or a boy and a girl, because you always knew you liked girls too) worthy of your affections. One for her, one for you. Bonus points if the two of them were also best friends, of course. 

Double dates were all the buzz at the time anyways. 

Besides, only then they could understand the bond you and Gyuri had. Sisterhood like no other, nevermind Gyuri actually had an older sister and a niece at the ripe age of fifteen. 

And so when your index finger scanned the crowd and eliminated at least three potential crushes before landing on Choi San, you felt like it was meant to be. 

You see, his best friend, Jung Wooyoung, was perfect for Gyuri to crush on. He was almost as tall as she was at the time and his easy, outgoing personality was compatible with her book crush at the time as well. 

He also flirted with her on several occasions before that. 

So it was meant to be. 

Choi San, on the other hand, had never even glanced in your direction before. 

Just like your book crush did before he fell in love with the main character. 

See? Meant. To. Be. 

It was decided then that, although Choi San was not going to be your first crush ever, he was going to be the guy that motivated you to be at school for the time being, because math gets really boring after trying and failing at least ten times. 

You thought nothing of it when it felt a little forced, when you couldn't blush at all at the sight of him and you gathered that it didn't need to happen like in the books you read. You simply needed to say his name when someone asked you if you had a crush on anyone and that was enough to be in symphony with the rest of your classmates. 

Your longing glances were caught once or twice by him and you brushed the weird flip your stomach did everytime he looked away, blushing a little. You never really cared when it happened, really, knowing his crowd and your crowd (Gyuri and you) would never even cross paths in the first place. 

You two kept to yourselves and your little book unofficial book club, sitting on the floor at lunch time and cursing everyone who dared to call you weird for it. San and Wooyoung had a crowd of people at the loudest table laughing with them over stupid teen jokes and, uh, sports? You didn't even know. 

And then the unimaginable happened. 

Jung Wooyoung sat down, criss cross applesauce and everything, in front of you on a random Monday afternoon while you and Gyuri discussed the english assignment due next period. 

Gyuri was not too excited about that. 

Turns out, the only one excited to have a crush at school was you. She was very much still in the Lonely Hearts Club phase while you skipped all the way to your The Notebook phase and she was, in her own words, too afraid to admit it when you came up with your crush plan. 

You forgave her, of course, and decided to wait for her as long as needed because you were certainly not about to be an individual and have a crush on your own. 

And by the time Wooyoung smiled at you both and introduced himself to you, like you weren't in the same class for a year already, you thought your pretend crush on his best friend evaporated and joined the void superficial and fleeting interests you had. 

But then Choi San sat beside him, his knee brushing against yours in the process, and you knew you would have to issue a formal apology to your best and only friend for leaving her behind on this little thing. 

Because, oh boy, were you crushing on Choi San. 

You felt the blush rush to your cheeks and then fell silent while your friend and his friend discussed Fifty Shades of Grey for some reason you never cared enough to discover and you knew you were done for.

It was the first time seeing his dimples in full action, so close to you, so you completely stopped functioning all together. Amazing. 

When you decided to have a crush, you never took into account that you were, actually, quite shy. And he really wasn't, but you noticed that he knew when to talk and what to say and with your friend being a lot more outgoing that you were it gave you the comfort that she would speak for the both of you while you admired from the sidelines as your little duo became a group of friends you still miss deeply to this day. 

He was funny and you laughed at your jokes even though you pretended to be tired and completely worn out by the school day, resting your head on Gyuri’s shoulder and stealing glances at the boy while she kept arguing with his best friend. 

Wooyoung was popular and liked enough to have a few people sit with you later that week, people who never even knew you existed before that. They were good friends with San as well, so you tried your best to keep up with everyone until she sat down next to you one day. 

Arin was not really a bad person. She just was a bit conceited, calling herself princess type of conceited and you never really related to her even if she was nice to you to your face. She was absolutely gorgeous and, you found out with Wooyoung’s arm around your shoulder and a whisper to your ear, she had been San’s crush since they were both in elementary school. 

That would explain the sudden tension at the table when she sat down next to you, said hello to everyone, offered you a sweet she just bought from the cafeteria, and stared at San for the remainder of lunch time. 

You also noticed Wooyoung glaring at her a little and he later explained to you that he didn't really like her all that much. She loved attention and San gave her attention, so she would intentionally flirt with him to get her ego stroked in return. 

It didn't really matter how he felt about the girl, though, he didn't have to like her just because his best friend did. And when you caught her batting her eyelashes at San, you knew you didn't even stand a chance.

You tried to hide the disappointed look on your face but both Gyuri and Wooyoung looked at you while the two of them flirted endlessly for the remainder of lunch time and you figured you were doing a pretty shitty job at it. He didn't glance at you once either way, so it didn't really matter. 

Arin did but she just complimented your eyes and then started a conversation with someone across the table, her annoying sweet and fake voice making your right ear ring in disapproval. 

Either way, you ended up becoming her friend. Gyuri was not very fond of her and neither were you, but you all went to the bathroom together, did your makeup together, did school projects together and then sat everyday at lunch together with the rest of the guys who were, in one way or another, trying to get her to like them. 

Because, once again, she was a sight for sore eyes. 

It wasn't until later, in the middle of the year, that one of them did. Not Choi San, but Choi Yeonjun. 

You remember the day you found out they were together and the gut wrenching concern you felt when you found out that San was not at school that day. 

It was after summer break, you remember Wooyoung telling you that San and his family took a few more days of vacation and if you couldn't believe your eyes when you saw the new couple sharing a sweet kiss at the designated lunch table, you could only imagine how San felt the next day when he saw the same image right in front of him. 

Yeonjun was his friend, right? He knew about his crush and decided to get together with her anyways. Surely, San was devastated. 

But he wasn't. He just cheered them on and then laughed along when Yeonjun shoved his arm playfully after the hollering. 

But you saw through it. 

Your crush on San made you observant. Made you believe you knew him better than everyone else and so, after lunch, you took out your phone and pulled up the notes app. Writing a simple “are you okay?” in it and passing it to him the next second, you were surprised with yourself before you saw him frown a bit. And then he understood what you meant. 

Nodding, he passed you the phone back, before giving you a reassuring smile that you treasured in your heart and saw in your dreams. 

You didn't believe him, though, but stayed close enough to everything related to the situation to hold Arin in your arms when Yeonjun inevitably broke her heart. 

Starting your tenth year, he moved back to his city and decided to play the I thought we weren't even that serious card on her. Which was nasty, considering love it's very, very serious for a sixteen year old girl. 

By this point, you were all a little family and hanging out after school and on the weekends was not unusual, so it didn't surprise you when Arin invited you, and only you, to her house after choir practice on a Thursday. 

She lent you her older sister’s clothes to wear (because her's would never fit you. Her words, not yours) and took you to a walk in the park just to break your heart for the first time ever. 

“You know… I thought love was something I couldn't find in highschool anymore. But San it's really making an effort, you know? He's been there for me ever since Yeonjun left and… Well, I think he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend tomorrow.” 

Grasping the park bench she forced you to sit at, you only nodded and let out a shuddering breath that gave away what she was trying to figure out since earlier that day. 

“I'll say yes but only if you say it's okay to do so.” 

Arin was not really your friend, the same way Yeonjun was not really San’s friend. 

Because there's no way you would ever be okay with it. 

And yet, you tried your best to give her a smile and pretend the sound of your heart breaking didn't bring tears to your eyes “Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be?” 

A week later, they were officially dating. The rumors spread around like a wildfire and it took out of you with everyone calling San a nasty rebound and you doing your best to prioritize the ghost of the friendship you had with him. That whole fiasco lasted a few months. 

Months in which your friendship with everyone just grew stronger. Gyuri was still your best friend, Wooyoung was crushing on her hard and everyone knew, Arin and San were a steady couple, a new girl joined your class that year, named Yeri, and the principal assigned her to you because she thought you two would get along really well. 

“I like girls,” was like, the third thing she ever told you while you were showing her the school “I'm just telling you now because I don't plan on hiding it and you are wearing a pride pin.” 

“Oh, that's cool. I like girls too,” you smiled, looking at your pride pin “I didn't hide it either and no one gave me shit about it, so, don't worry.” 

Yeri also liked the mainstream music that you liked and soon she became a new addition to your group. And with Arin spending all of her free time with San, you, Gyuri and Yeri only grew closer and closer. You didn't have Arin’s voice in your ear telling you the million reasons she found Yeri uncool, but you saw it in her face every time the table laughed at one of Yeri’s jokes. 

And so, it went on for a while: 

Your mom driving all of you around in her car to the beach, to dinner, to the movies and letting you have mixed sleepovers at your house (meaning you, Arin, Gyuri, Wooyoung, Yeri and San) was fun and all, but it was not enough to distract yourself entirely. Everytime you glanced at the couple, that sinking feeling in your chest would appear and sulk your whole mood for, at least, fifteen minutes.  

Fifteen minutes of pretending you were okay with them before forgetting completely for an hour or so and then the cycle would repeat until you were alone staring at the ceiling and doing your best to not cry about it.

All it took was your first kiss being Yeri of all people for you to decide that it was time to retire your crush for Choi San once and for all. 

And for a while, it all went according to plan. You decided to tell Gyuri that it was okay because he was your friend first and the guy that you liked second and that you were not fourteen and desperate for love anymore, that it was time to go on with your life as if nothing really happened in the first place. 

You were hooking up with Yeri anyways, so it seemed like you were doing just fine. 

You grew closer to San as well and even though he mostly talked to you about Arin and whatever tantrum she was throwing at the time, you really started to feel some sense of normalcy within you when it came to just speaking to him. 

You no longer blushed when he made you laugh, you no longer looked at him with the longing of a past life lover and you were really happy for him because, at the end of the day, he was really happy with his relationship. 

Until winter break came around and Arin decided to give San his first heartbreak ever. 

She decided to call for a break in their relationship because she was, in his words, too overwhelmed with the amount of love and attention she was getting from him. 

Which was completely fucking insane considering the fact she forced him to save her contact as Princess Arin and all. 

So naturally, you sided with him. And she didn't take it to heart because everyone knew you liked San anyways. 

She told you the news herself through Facebook after asking you to explain to her the English assignment due next day and then she decided to tell you something you'll never understand because you no longer are on speaking terms with her: 

Princess Arin: u know i broke up with him because of u right? :) 

Princess Arin: one day I'll tell u all abt it. 

She never told you anything about it. And by then, you were starting your last year and San was your best friend who hung out with you everyday after school, calling you late at night and helping you with assignments through Skype. So you didn't really care. 

And as the day passed, you started understanding the connection they talked about in books and movies. You thought you did before, Gyuri being your eternal person in this world, but it felt so different with San. 

Different and good. Different and achy enough for you to want to keep it in your life. 

Your dynamic was friendly, sure, but it was alright. It consisted of banter and daring stares as well as laughter and soft moments you treasured till this day. 

“It's way too early to be this annoying, Choi San.” 

“Oh, you think this is me being annoying?”

You both got an hour of detention for disturbing the class that day. 

You loved it. 

But then, after almost a month of picking up the broken pieces of his heart one by one, and your mother giving him a self-help book to make him regain the confidence he lost during the breakup process, you realized that you were in love with him and there was nothing you could do about that. 

You noticed one friday afternoon, when he offered to pay for your and your mom's ice cream at the drive through, when he scrambled to get all the change he had on him to leave a tip for the person who handed you guys the sweet treat, that there was no way you didn't love him. 

And it was confusing as fuck when everyone else started to tell you he had feelings for you as well. 

“Think about it. You text each other good morning everyday” Yeri listed with her finger and you nodded “Then, you go to school, sit together and spend the rest of the day together” another nod “Then after school you either go get ice cream together or hang out for a bit with your mom while she drives him home. And after that, you get on Skype for the reminder of the afternoon and then he calls you on your house phone and you two spend the rest of the night talking before falling asleep on the line together,” she looked at you like you were insane for even denying the accusations made against San, but she continued anyway “And then it's rinse and repeat and it has been that way since… What? Three months ago?” 

You nodded again, defeated. 

“Girl, he likes you.” she sighed, annoyed and a little tired, before sitting on your lap and kissing your lips affectionately “And you're here making out with me instead of him. You really are a lost cause.”

That didn't stop you from hooking up with her until she found a girl who's heart was not reserved for someone else, though. Said girl went to a different school and was a year younger than all of you, but she looked very happy and stopped secretly kissing you in the school bathroom like a week after they met. 

And when she finally told everyone, you were really happy for her, but San not so much. 

It was the night you thought everything was about to change. The night you thought he was about to kiss you or you were about to kiss him, whatever happened first. 

Laying in your bed, facing each other in the dim light, he thought it was the biggest form of betrayal and pouted the whole time he explained to you why. 

He thought you liked her and you realized he didn't really pay attention to you after all. Not the way you did with him. 

Bless his heart. 

You didn't kiss him that night because he wouldn't shut up about you and Yeri. 

“I mean, why couldn't it be you? She clearly liked you if you two were hooking up for over a year” and when his hand came to rest on your back, under your shirt, you breath hitched enough for him to notice it but not enough for him to just don't do anything about it except trace the curve of your silhouette with the pad of his thumb “I don't understand why anyone would pass the opportunity to be with you.” 

Huh. Maybe he did have feelings for you. 

No. He's just being a great best friend. Don't take that for granted. 

But it was impossible for you not to take Yeri’s words seriously as time went on. 

You didn't want to think he was giving you mixed signals, but yet again there was that one time when you reached behind your passenger seat in your mothers car to pinch his leg playfully after he pulled on your hair a little bit from behind, only to end up holding his hand the rest of the car trip to his house. 

His fingers slowly caressing the back of your hand were just too much for you not to get everything mixed up. 

Or that other time when your school held a Woman's Day event, and your class president decided that all the boys in the class were going to give roses to the girls.

When it was your turn to get a rose, you knew no one would give you one. But Yeri stood in line and collected a rose from the bin before the class president had the opportunity to say anything else. 

“I'll take that, thank you very much.” She turned to you, smiling. San blocked her way to you a second after. 

“And just what do you think you're doing?” 

“Giving my best girl a rose, of course.” She peeked around him, giving you a wink that you could only roll your eyes to. 

San turned to you, the fondness in his eyes making you question the decision of not pretending to be sick that day. It was too much for you to handle. 

“To the back of the line, then. I already called dibs on her,” he turned to your friend, snatching the rose from her hand in one swift move “I'll take that, thank you very much.” 

He had no idea what that meant to you back then. It was true that, at school, he behaved a little differently than when you two were alone. 

He was athletic, so he had some friends that you were sure used to ask him what the fuck was he doing wasting his time with a girl like you instead of getting a new girlfriend. 

He had a family that didn't approve of yours, too. You felt it the first time you met his mom and, even though she was nice to you and your mom, you could feel the judgemental stare she gave both of you when your mom told her she was a single parent. 

San told you that it didn't really matter, that his mom didn't have to like you because you weren't her friend, you were his. 

He played with your feelings a little too well. Wanting him, adoring him and letting yourself be consumed by the thought of him loving you back was enough to keep it going. To ignore the fluttering way your heart kept beating whenever he talked to you which was all the time. 

You assumed the way he behaved with you in private was the real him. The one who didn't care about appearances or his family approval. 

The one who cared about you. 

It was dizzying and fantastic and you thought he just might've been the love of your life. 

But then he would tell you how much it hurted when he saw Arin at school and how much he missed her, the intimacy they shared before, and reality would come crashing down and setting your delusions on fire again. 

He had sex with Arin. You would never stand a chance. 

Or so you thought he did. Except when you overheard Arin speaking to her friends and that was the first time you ever got mad at Choi San.

“And, you know, me and San were never intimate like that so I wouldn't know but I think boys have no idea how to please a woman if they tried to.” 

What? 

Oh. So he lied to you. 

And you were so upset by the thought of him making up stories of their intimate time together that it didn't even cross your mind that Arin might've been lying to save face. 

So when he came back from the bathroom and sat at his usual desk in front of you, you didn't even think about his feelings when you decided to treat him like shit for lying about something so important like sex to your face. 

“Leave me alone, San! I don't want to fucking talk to you right now!” 

The hurt expression he gave you after that is one you would never be able to forget. 

But you grew to be stubborn and a little overprotective of your own feelings, so you thought him playing the part of your best friend all these months and sweet talking to you was just another one of his lies. 

“You guys not being friends right now doesn't make any fucking sense, sweetheart.” Wooyoung's tone is careful and laced with affection, but you knew he was playing the devil's advocate on behalf of San. With his arm around Gyuri’s shoulder (by that point, they were a thing for over two months) you could swear you saw him smirk when the nickname brought a scowl to your face. 

He might've been worried, but he was also a little shit. 

“You really are going to let Arin ruin what you two have?” Your best friend was, of course, on your side. But she was your best friend for a reason and her love included pointing out when you were behaving like an infant at the age of seventeen and a half. 

“You two are practically dating and you're going to let the evil ex-girlfriend get in the way? Over something you weren't even supposed to hear in the first place? Come on.” 

Again, Wooyoung was a little shit. And you were so upset about everything that you shyness couldn't even help the fury behind your reply: 

“Stop saying that! We are not practically dating, he's in love with Arin and I'm not sure I even like him like that anymore!” Getting tired of everyone and their mother (your mother) feeding your delusions, you came to the conclusion that putting a stop to your friendship with Choi San was for the best. 

And, in doing so, you ended up breaking your own heart for the second time in your life. 

But he didn't put up an easy fight at all. You remember the feeling of pure joy when he grabbed your hand on the way to the cafeteria one day, pulling you so hard you almost ended up sitting in his lap, and the way his pleading eyes begged you to listen to him one last time. 

“Us not being friends doesn't feel right, Y/N…” he said and the word he used to categorize what both of you had hurted you, but you pushed the feeling away “Please, let's not fight anymore. I don't even know what happened, but I forgive you for yelling at me and I hope you forgive me for whatever it is you think I did.” 

Of course, you forgave him the next second without thinking too much about it. And for a while, everything went back to normal. You Skyped as usual and occasionally you let your other friends join the call even though it didn't really feel like it used to before. 

The next thing you knew, your feelings were in full bloom again and when you realized it, it was too late. 

Because by then, you had already let your childhood friend, Sunhee, join a few Skype calls and by the fourth one she invited her friend, Minseo, to them as well. 

Terrible, terrible mistake. Because even through the screen, you could see that Minseo looked a lot like Arin with the added bonus that she was down to earth and cool and liked the same things San liked.

You liked the same things San liked as well, but it never seemed to matter. 

Because not even two months after you decided to stop talking to San over a lie you weren't supposed to find out in the first place and then became friends one more time, he gets together with Minseo and you're sick to your stomach all over again. 

You hated her. Not because she was, suddenly, his girlfriend (not girlfriend girlfriend, but in a friends with benefits arrangement you never even knew why he agreed on in the first place) but because suddenly she was so fucking obnoxious and didn't seem to like you either. 

Was it not painfully obvious San didn't have feelings for you? Why was she mad at you then? You literally brought them together! 

And all you got in return was her telling him she didn't feel comfortable with him having a girl best friend. That ungrateful bitch. 

He stopped calling. He stopped texting, he stopped carpooling with you and your mom after school and he stopped caring whether your math assignment was done or not. 

He stared pulling away more and more and it didn't matter how hard you tried to get him to talk to you, it seemed like he never really fucking cared about you in the first place. 

And by may that year, you didn't speak to San anymore. Granted, the only person he did speak to was Wooyoung, but even their friendship was falling apart. 

For the first time ever, San broke your heart firsthand. And it felt really, really fucking bad. 

You cried to your mom about it, she reminded you that you were nothing but a great friend to him and that, if he didn't take the time to appreciate that, that was his loss not yours. 

And she started hating him from that moment on. But you couldn't hate San, not even a little bit. 

Why would you hate him for not liking you back? For not loving you the way you loved hi— 

Your laptop closes down right in front of you and when you try to look up to find out who's responsible for interrupting your writing time, you get interrupted again. 

“Ouch! What the fuck, Gyuri?” The slap to the back of your head is quick and filled with rage. 

“What the fuck are you even writing. I can read from here, you know?” 

“I'm just laying my feelings down and— Ouch! Stop that!” You try to hit her back but she turns away quickly when your hands almost knock her coffee mug out of hers. 

“You can't possibly still have love for San, Y/N. It's been years.”

It's been four and a half, to be precise. But who's counting, right? 

“And why are you writing it in third person? You don't usually do that.” 

���I don't really know, Gyuri!” 

“I’m telling you, this celebratory dinner bullshit it's affecting you way more than it should,” she sighs, plopping down on the couch of your shared living room, and you leave your seat at the table to join her “He might not even show up. He has that thing with Kyungmi.” 

Kyungmi. 

You couldn't get to that part on your open document, but San left Minseo when he met Kyungmi at one of the frat parties they love to attend. Wooyoung told you that he said that it was love at first sight and you even met her briefly when you picked Gyuri up from the apartment he and San got when they started college together. 

She’s gorgeous and doesn't look like Arin or Minseo at all. It’s a different type of gorgeous. She's a year older than San and went to the same school as them and Gyuri. 

You think you might even like her better than him. 

You tried to be happy for San when you found out, but you two barely even speak a word to each other and you convinced yourself a while ago that you couldn't care less if he sees right through you and your fake smiles. 

You gathered, after everything happened, that San knew you liked him and took advantage of that. Unintentionally, but he did anyway. 

You sigh, resting your head on your best friend's shoulder. “It’s his best friend's celebratory dinner, though, he needs to be there.” 

Two seconds pass and then you both say it at the same time: “He’s in love.” 

And when San is in love, he has a one track mind with the name of his lover as the goal. 

You nod, but you can't help but to be insistent “It's Wooyoung's celebratory dinner, he needs to show up, right?” 

“I might not even show up, he's a pain in the ass.” She replies but you can tell her annoyance is not genuine and it makes you smile. 

Gyuri and Wooyoung broke up towards the end of your first year of college but you all stayed close friends. A one year relationship was not enough to fuck up the friendship they had and they decided to stay civil until, eventually, they became close friends again. 

To this day, you wonder why you and San couldn't rekindle your friendship when it became clear to you that you missed your friend and not the guy that you liked. 

Because San was always your friend first and your first love second. 

But it doesn't really matter anymore, because Gyuri is forcing you to shower and reminding you that you two need to keep Wooyoung on his best behavior tonight. 

“That girl he used to like before me is going, he said. I looked her up, she's single and he needs to get together with her because I can't take him whining about it anymore.” 

They keep things with each other way too civil, you think. 

“I'm telling you, if we don't show up he's going to do that thing where he gets drunk and makes a fool of himself. I can't have that, I'm on a mission.” 

“A mission to get your ex laid?” You ask, shampooing your hair. 

“A mission to get him a girlfriend so he can stop crying to me about feeling lonely.” 

“Maybe he wants you guys to—” The shower curtain opens and you see your best friend’s scowl before covering yourself up with your hands. 

“Gyuri!”

“Don't you dare say what you were about to say or I'm divorcing you.” 

You chuckle “Sure you are.”

You're left alone again with the water stream and she goes back to do her makeup “I told you back in ninth grade that we weren't a great fit and I was right. We can't get back together,” she sighs “It'll ruin everything.” 

“I doubt it will but you guys have been friends longer than you were boyfriend and girlfriend, so I'll just have to deal with my parents being divorced and civil.” 

“God, don't ever refer to us like that again— Oh! Speaking of parents,” you see her beam at her phone when you move the shower curtain to search for your towel and then she shows it to you “Mingi and Love just celebrated their one year anniversary!” 

Love being Mingi’s best friend. Gyuri talks to you about her college friend group all the time. The drama fuels your dinner conversations, you even follow a few of them on social media. 

“What does that have to do with parents?”

“They're the mom and dad of the group.” 

San is in that friend group, you can see him in the back of the picture and you recognize his apartment layout too. He's not the main focus of it but he's all you can see until you notice the couple sitting near him on the couch. 

The picture shows both of them, her in his lap and Mingi looking at her with stars in his eyes. 

Good for them. 

“Is that the girl he was friends with forever before they finally realized that they were in love?” 

“Yeah,” she sighs in contempt, looking down at the picture again “I was there the day it happened. I mean, not physically with them, but they left Yunho's party together and I told Wooyoung that it was finally about to happen!”

Gyuri is not a romantic person at all. Her excitement shows you that she really loves them and so you soften at the news that would usually give you and your dry love life a headache “It was the day before you called me to get you out of that awful date.” 

Ah, that also happened back then. You shudder at the memory.

“Tell them I say congrats, babe.” 

“I'm bringing you as my plus one.” 

You laugh, confused “To where?” 

“Their wedding, duh.” 

“They practically just got together,” you remind her, a year is not enough time to propose “And I don't really know them, Gyuri!” 

“They love you,” she assures you as you step out of the shower “I have been speaking about your antisocial ass for years. They can't wait to meet you.” 

“So you've been shit talking behind my back for years? Is that what I'm hearing?” 

She laughs “No, babe, that's Wooyoung's job.” 

Clearing your throat and looking at your friend through the mirror, you try to be as nonchalant as you can when you ask: “Has he… Did he tell you if…” 

“No, Y/N, I have no clue if San is going or not and Wooyoung is actually mad at him at the moment.” 

“Why?” 

She looks at you, sighing “He's been lacking as a friend lately.” 

“Hm.” 

“I hope you're not planning on swooning if you see him. Fuck him, Y/N.” 

“I know…” 

“And by fuck him I mean he doesn't deserve you or your forgiveness.” 

“He didn't do anything to me, Gyuri,” you remind her, shrugging “Not reciprocating my feelings is not a crime so I don't have to forgive him for anything.” 

You can practically feel her starting the San hate train engine, so you step out of the bathroom but her voice follows you. 

“And what about that time he ditched you for Minseo when you asked him to go with you to that medical appointment, huh?” 

“Cut it out, Gyuri…” 

But her head peaks around the corner, into the hall where you're rushing towards your room “Or that time when—” 

“Can't hear you!” Turning to look at her, she gives you an affectionate middle finger and heads back to the bathroom.

Closing the door, you lean into the thin wood and sigh, getting San’s face out of your mind so you can focus on getting ready and actually show up for Wooyoung and Wooyoung only. 

He just got a permanent position after completing his internship at a company that's your company's rival. He's going to crush you and steal clients from you but you are genuinely so happy for him. 

You should've guessed he enjoyed books as much as you did back in highschool. The debates he used to have with Gyuri were not all about flirting with her but also because he has a passion for books. 

And now he's going to work in the same field as you.

You're so proud of your friend. 

As you get ready, you remember the excitement cruising through your body when your boss trusted you enough to give you the first manuscript of a new client so you could edit it. You're sure Wooyoung is going to do better than you, taking into account that he actually went to college for this. 

You didn't. 

You met your boss at the part-time job you got in senior year, when you were trying to distract yourself from all the pain and the horrors of becoming a grown up. She was chatty, got a little too drunk on soju and told you she was starting her own book publishing company. 

When she returned months later after remembering that you told her you loved books and would love to work for as a publisher one day, she offered you a job in her company right after graduating highschool. 

You took it because you didn't think an opportunity like this would show up ever again. 

She was truly a blessing, the kind of person you never really believed in until she taught you all you needed to know about publishing and editing and encouraged you to take online classes during the nights so you could get, at least, a certification on what you do. 

You're proud of yourself too. The opportunity found you in a specific moment of your life where both your heart and your self esteem were destroyed and now you're not the person you used to be. 

Maybe that's why the possibility of facing San makes you so nervous. Collective memories are dangerous because the details never match the ones on the other person's head. 

You know who you were back then but… Are you the same person in San’s head? 

You don't even want to find out. 

Scanning your outfit in the mirror for the last time, you take the shoes you're wearing tonight out of your closet and walk over to the living room. 

Only to find Gyuri laying on the carpet under the coffee table, half dressed and on her phone. 

“You're going to mess up your hair.” 

“I don't care, I'm not going.” 

Sighing, you sit down on the couch and staring at the wood of the table covering her face. 

“What happened now?” 

“The bitch canceled!” 

“Wooyoung?” 

Poking her head out, she frowns at you “No, his first love.” 

“You were his first love.” 

“You know what I'm talking about, Y/N!” 

Laughing at her, you offer her your hand “Get dressed. Who cares if she's not going? He's not going to sulk because he's going to have you and his best friends there.” 

She whines like a child when you pull her up from the floor “I had a plan!” 

“Then make a new one, babe. We're going to be late.” 

She starts to whine again but then stops mid-groan to give you a once over. You shift uncomfortably on your feet, suddenly self-conscious about your appearance for the first time in years. 

“You look really hot…” she tells you and you fake gag at her words “Really pretty. Like a fairy and a smoke show at the same time.” 

You can't possibly look like that when you have such a simple outfit on, floor length high waist black pants and a flowy sleeve top that ties in the middle. It's barely formal but now you're thinking too hard about it. 

Blushing, you wave your hand to dismiss her compliment “Oh, my god. Go and change!” 

She rushes to her room on the opposite end of the hall and you finally breathe, looking down at your choice of fit and wondering if it's too much. 

Gyuri would've told you if that's the case, but either way it haunts your mind in the car on the way there, leg bouncing up and down under your best friend's judging gaze that only softens when you pout at her. 

“They are going to love you, babe. I'm so serious, they've been waiting years to meet you.” 

You nod because, yes, you're concerned that her friend group is not all as welcoming as she paints them to be. 

And you wish your doubts would go away but you're really, really not good at making friends. You're cautious, extremely closed off to new people and not as good with conversation no matter how much confidence you gained over the past years. 

When you walk to the loudest table at the laid back restaurant their friend Seonghwa made the reservation at, you think you won't be able to fit in with everyone else. You feel like an intruder, like Gyuri is supposed to enjoy this part of her life without you here. 

That's why you rejected every invitation they ever made. 

You celebrate birthdays with her, with Woo as well, but it's all very intimate and separate from their social circle, the one that includes the man you haven't fully faced in years. 

But you can't exactly back out now, not when one of them turns to you and seems to light up when they see you. 

“Oh? Is this her?” you recognize Hongjoong from pictures, he's the only one facing you when you approach the table, lowkey hiding behind Gyuri like a child. 

“Who?” 

“Huh?”

San is nowhere to be seen. Thank god. 

Slowly, everyone turns around and you see their faces light up with both delight and surprise. Your heart is pounding, you feel it in your throat, in your eyes, in the heat that colors your cheeks. 

But Gyuri just steps aside and presents you with a smile “This is her!” 

“Oh, Y/N!” Wooyoung gets up, rushing towards you and crashing into your frame with a crushing hug “I'm so glad you're here,” he murmurs into your hair and then turns to his friends, quiet them down “Everyone, this is Y/N, one of my best friends in the entire world.” 

He's such a dramatic human being.

You love him so much. 

Raising your hand, you shyly wave at them “Hi.” 

The entire table erupts with joy. Some of them greet you, some of them are saying that they are happy to be finally meeting you and Wooyoung grabs your arm and plops you down into the seat next to Gyuri, at the edge of the table. 

Laughing, you apologize for not meeting them sooner and then you feel a pair of hands on your shoulders. 

Panic raising, you quickly turn around to see who it is before releasing a shuddering, but calmer, breath. 

“She's a very busy woman, guys. She works for the competition, my competition,” everyone gasps at that but Wooyoung is smiling at you “and she's very good at what she does. Which means she's busy, get off her case,” he puts a glass and a can of beer in front of you “Drink, babe.” 

“Thanks, babe.” You whisper back and he leans in to peck your head before going away. 

Gyuri groans “Stop stealing that from us! It's our thing, Y/N, don't indulge him.” 

“It's his celebratory dinner…” you argue with a laugh that Hongjoong and Mingi follow. 

“Yeah! Can you get off my case tonight, Gyuri?” 

She huffs, wrapping her arms around you “I hate you all.” 

“No you don't!” 

The table laughs and everyone returns to their individual conversations when Woo sits down on his spot. 

There's a few seats left, one besides Mingi and one right in front of you but you don't think too much about it because soon Gyuri gets up to ask Yeosang something and Seonghwa occupies her seat right beside you. 

You think he can sense that you're more shy than you let on, because he doesn't include you in whatever he and Yunho were talking about and waits until he stops talking to him to turn to you. 

“So, you work for a publishing company?” 

The question catches you off guard and you swallow the beer quickly before nodding “Y-yeah, I… Yeah.” 

He chuckles “You're nervous.” 

“I'm just not as good at meeting people as Gyuri is. She usually does the job and I tag along.” 

“I feel like I know you already, though.” He says, leaning back on his chair. 

“Because she talks a lot about me?” he nods “Yeah, she tends to do that.” 

“Wooyoung also talks a lot about you, San too… Sometimes,” your cheeks heat up and he misinterprets what it means “All good things, I promise.” 

You doubt that. 

Your brain gives you a hundred and one possible things San could've said about you. 

For some reason, none of them are good. But you choose to believe the gorgeous, long haired guy in front of you. 

“Well that's good to hear,” you take another sip of your drink before smiling at him “I was sure Woo was trash talking about me.” 

He shakes his head with a smile “He wouldn't dare, he has Gyuri on his ass all the time and I'm sure she would kill him.” 

“I'm sure she would kill him even if he didn't do it.” 

His smile grows wider “That's true,” he says, looking over at them who are, very coincidentally, fighting about something. You let out a sigh and he laughs again before clearing his throat “So, the publishing company. What kind of books do you like to edit the most?” 

Your smile grows wider too. 

For the next hour, you talk to Seonghwa about your job and how you started in it. He asks you about your classes and the challenges that you face on a daily basis and Wooyoung overhears and ends up joining the conversation as well.

You don't even hear footsteps nearing until a voice cuts everyone off. 

“I'm sorry I'm late!” 

“Baby!” Mingi gets up from his seat, but no one else does so he's stuck between the table and his girlfriend. 

“Oh, that's Love, huh?” you ask Seonghwa, Wooyoung too entertained messing with the couple to hear you anyways. 

“Yeah… Is that how Gyuri refers to her?” He frowns.

“Mhm,” you answer, leaning into him like you're about to tell him an important secret “I'm not supposed to call her that, don't tell her.” 

Seonghwa leans in too, pretending to zip his mouth shut and you laugh. 

The girl wiggles her way into the seat reserved for her and everyone lets out a groan when they smooch each other. You can only giggle and the sound draws her attention to you “Y/N?” 

You quickly nod “Yeah, hi, nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you! Finally, I thought Wooyoung and Gyuri had an imaginary friend,” you laugh, shrugging at the joke “Love your outfit, by the way, are those— Oh, San, hi— Are those jellyfish?” 

You want to answer. You truly do, the yes right at the tip of your tongue, but words leave you when you turn your head around and find San already looking at you with wide eyes.

He looks great, he's a bit more muscular than what the pictures show and than the last time that you saw him, his arms hugging the fabric of the dress shirt he's wearing like it was tailored for him and everything. 

How dare he. 

You wonder if his heart is beating as loud as yours is right now. If he's surprised, disappointed or happy to see you at all. 

“Her favorite animal.” He answers for you “Hi, Y/N.” 

“Hi…” you whisper back and it feels like you're in a trance. He doesn't look away but the table quieting down once again snaps you out of it and you turn to the girl with a wide smile that you hope conceals whatever the fuck you're feeling at the moment “I love jellyfishes. Had a phase as a child when I would exclusively talk about them, too,” you chuckle, nervously, reaching for your earrings instinctively “Gyuri gave them to me as a present last Christmas.” 

You definitely overshared just now. From the corner of your eye you catch your best friend getting ready to step in if needed. 

Love looks at you, then at San (who's just standing next to you without uttering a word) and then back at you again, smiling like she just figured something out “Well, I love them.” 

“Thanks…” 

Coughing unnecessarily loud, Wooyoung gets up from his seat “You're late.” 

It takes a second but San tears his gaze away from you to look at his best friend and you take the opportunity to chug down the rest of your beer “Sorry, something came up.” 

Seonghwa turns at that and looks at him as well “You good?” 

“I am. Did you guys already eat? I'm starving.” 

“Nope. We're about to order. Let me get you a drink, come here.” And just like that, he disappears from your view and you almost sigh in relief. 

“Are you good?” Seonghwa asks you next and you reckon he's very observant. But then again, you're not the most gracious human being when you're in San’s presence, so, you figure everyone else noticed your change of mood as well. 

“Yeah, I just… I haven't seen him in a while and I didn't think he was coming. I was surprised, that's all.” 

“I can see that,” his eyes move around your face for some reason, frowning a little bit but then he seems to let it go, getting the menu closer to you “Okay, good, um… I actually made the reservation here because they have the best samgyeopsal in town.”  

“Do they?” 

“Mhm, so…” 

He helps you pick your food and when it's time to order, he moves back to his seat. Gyuri asks you with her eyes if you're okay, you nod and grab her hand under the table with a tiny smile and then everyone is moving around to make space for San and Woo once they return. 

He doesn't sit in front of you. 

Relief floods you and you can finally feel your muscles relax as he is so far away, at the other end of the table and in the same row of seats, so you don't really see him unless you really try. 

Which you don't, so your food goes down easy and the rest of the night as well.

Until everyone but you and Seonghwa move around their seats and he ends up right in your point of view as you do your best to ignore him and focus on his friend. 

Seonghwa asks you about your hobbies, you tell him that you love to write movie essays on websites no one even cares to read and he asks you to show it to him so he can look it up when he gets home.

“And you've always done this? Since highschool?” 

You nod and he beams “I read like the first three lines and it looks really good, Y/N. Is that why you love books so much? Because you're a writer?” 

“I wouldn't consider myself a writer but… Sure, I love to write.” 

“Did you know this?” he turns to San and your smile drops a little. 

“Know what?” 

“Your friend is an excellent writer.” 

“Oh, I know. She, uh… Used to write stories on her notebook instead of paying attention in math class,” he sips on his drink and at the detail you didn't know he knew, you turn to him fully “I used to read over her shoulder sometimes.” 

“She's really good.” Seonghwa is looking at your phone, still reading “Really smart, too.” 

San’s jaw tenses a little and you can't understand why “I know.” He says again. 

His friend is none the wiser, blocking your phone and returning it to you “I like it,” he says, smiling and you blush “The essay.” He clarifies after a second, prompting a laugh out of you that he joins. 

San doesn't laugh, but you don't pay attention to him because Seonghwa is asking you something else. 

When it's time to leave the restaurant, Wooyoung suggests going back to his apartment to milk the get-together as much as you all can.

You all throw your napkins at him in feign disgust at the choice of words but you all accept his proposal either way. 

So now you're sitting on the couch, legs crossed and head on Gyuri’s shoulder while you listen to all of them talk (more like argue) about something that happened at their university last week, their voices drowning the soft music playing out of the tiny speaker resting on the counter. 

San is on the floor, to your right. It's hard to keep your eyes off him when you feel him looking at you when you close your eyes and let the noise fade into the background. It's not like you're able to add something to the conversation anyway and Gyuri seems to be drinking her sorrows (not being able to hook Woo up with the girl she told you about) away. 

Your best friend is slurring her words already, drink in hand and index finger pointing at Jongho accusatively because, apparently, the fight they're talking about was his fault. 

“You don't—” she hiccups “You don't even know why it was your fault and it pisses me off even more, you know?” 

“Okay, let me take that.” Taking the drink from her hand and before she starts complaining you stand up to make your way into the kitchen. 

The sink is full and a mess, so you pour the liquid into it and leave the glass sitting right beside it. Distracted by the dilemma of helping Woo out with the dishes or not, you don't notice someone else also entering the space.

That's why you jump a little when you turn and catch Seonghwa leaning on the wall by the entrance. It startles you enough to laugh the nerves out afterwards and he shakes his head, smiling. 

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. They're boring me to death with the fight story.” 

You nod, realizing that maybe that's because he doesn't attend the university anymore. He told you he graduated last year “They're too drunk to let it go.” 

“Too drunk to dance to this amazing song, too. Who's playlist is that?” he frowns and you rest your back into the sink, rolling your eyes because he's pretending he doesn't know “Oh! Right, it's mine.” 

“And they just don't know how to appreciate it, huh?” he shrugs and you click your tongue “They're such bad friends, Seonghwa, I truly don't know why you keep them around.” 

“You appreciate it,” it's your turn to frown and he leaves his spot at the wall to walk towards you “You were singing along to it,” he explains and you let out an ah, nodding as he extends his palm to you, clearly inviting you to dance. 

“Oh, I don't… I don't really know how to—” 

“I'll show you.” 

His kind eyes are asking you to trust him. You really, really shouldn't. 

No matter how hard you try to bury the hopeless romantic little girl who decided to have a crush on a guy back in ninth grade, she's still there, begging you to let loose and live a little. 

When you grab Seonghwa’s hand, you think the smile he gives you was worth listening to her. 

You can't even tell the song that's softly playing anymore, a mellow r&b melody reaches your ear but you are not listening. You're focused on him, on the way he spins you around even if it doesn't fit the bit, on the way he laughs softly against your ear when he pulls you close by your hand and then pulls away just as quickly. 

Laughing as well, the spell of this beautiful stranger (because you remind yourself you don't really know him that well) is hard to break. 

Until it does. 

Someone clearing their throat behind you stops you and Seonghwa's feet from moving any further. When the tall, older guy turns you around, you're face to face with San and his scowl. 

“Sorry to interrupt but I need to get started on the dishes. Everyone else is heading out too,” he looks behind you, at the man who's still standing close to you and grabbing your hand “In case you want to ask Mingi for a ride.” 

“They finally stopped fighting!” he fakes excitement, finally letting go of your hand and walking in front of you, blocking San with his body. You chuckle, barely clapping your hands to join the pretense as he's pulling up his phone “Can I ask for your number, Y/N?” 

Blinking a few times, you're not sure if your heart speeds up because he's asking or because you hear San sigh exasperated behind him “S-sure.” 

When you put your information on his phone, he bids you goodbye with a pat on your head and hugs San on his way out the kitchen. 

Now that you two are alone, you suddenly want to run and join Seonghwa. You were doing so, so well. 

Avoiding San like the plague it's much easier when you're safe hiding behind your two best friends. 

Ignoring his stare would be much easier if you weren't stuck into place. 

“I—” 

“You—” 

You both speak over each other and you force out an uncomfortable laugh that he doesn't return. Instead, he motions you to go first while he occupies the space in front of the sink, turning the faucet on. In doing so, he has to grab your waist and move you out of the way which makes you short circuit for a second “I was going to help you with that.” You finally stammer out. 

He lets out what you take as an annoyed chuckle. 

“You seemed busy, I don't know how you would've done it.” 

Ouch. 

Why do you allow his words to cut so deep when you stopped caring about what he does a long time ago? 

The band aid rips, the stitches come undone and all it took him were five seconds to melt your resolve away like it was never there in the first place. 

“I'll… I go get Gyuri so we can leave Woo and you to get to it, then.” 

“Bathroom.” You hear him mutter under his breath as you are taking the final step to leave. 

“Huh?” 

“She's in the bathroom, probably puking her breakfast out,” he looks up at you to give you a tiny smile “You left her alone with Jongho and Woo for five minutes so she got ahold of another drink.” 

“God damnit.” 

Rushing out, you run into everyone else at the door and Mingi has to let go of his very intoxicated girlfriend when she reaches you to give you a hug “Don't be a stranger, Y/N! It was lovely to be around you, hm?” 

The sudden physical contact almost makes you gasp but you cover it up with a shy giggle “O-oh. Yeah, um, lovely to meet you too. All of you.” 

“Sorry about that,” her boyfriend grabs her arms and breaks the hug “She's right, though. Don't be a stranger.” 

You nod once, smiling a little more sincerely now and everyone says bye to you, including Seonghwa, who grabs your hand one last time and gives it a squeeze before closing the front door of the apartment. 

You think you feel your heart skip a tiny bit under all the shit San’s words pulled up to the surface a minute ago. But there's no time to dwell in that: you hear Gyuri opening up the bathroom door before gagging and closing it again with a slam. 

Jesus Christ. 

You two are really getting old. You stopped drinking like an hour ago, when you were starting to feel tipsy after your second beer, and you know she didn't drink as much as she used to maybe four years ago, but the visage that welcomes you when you open the door and find her crouched down in front of the toilet certainly brings back memories of those times. 

“I left you alone for like… five minutes.” Sighing, you lean in to hold her flimsy ponytail and pat her back. 

“I'm good,” she gags again and then holds up her hand to stop you from saying anything else “I'm fine.” 

Smiling, you help her up and she grabs the counter as she's washing away the taste of whatever she ate earlier today and alcohol “Me when I lie…”

“Y/N!” she hits your arm but the movement somehow almost makes her trip. 

“You want to lay down?” 

“Is she okay?” Woo’s head peaks into the bathroom and when he sees his ex, he makes a face. 

“Does she look like she's okay?” you help her out of the bathroom and start heading for Wooyoung's room. 

“Wow, wow— Where do you think you're taking her?” 

“To your room, dumbass!”

“Why mine? San's is literally right there.” He whines, pointing at the door you pass by without a second thought. You don't want to know where his room is or what it looks like at all. 

“Yeah, well, did San get her this drunk?” 

“How was I supposed to know that she was at her almost black-out phase? She never drinks that much in front of me!” he complains again but you're already tugging Gyuri in, who mumbles something incoherent and then flips Wooyoung off “Na Gyuri if you puke on my bed I swear to God!” 

If you didn't know Wooyoung so much, the whining and the attitude would probably make you think he didn't care for her at all. But he's brushing her hair out of her forehead, securing the blanket around her and moving to take her socks off when you reach the door. 

“I'm guessing you're okay with her staying the night?” 

“Of course you guys can stay the night, Y/N.” He says and he stumbles a little to get to you, so you smile and shake your head, about to let him know that you're not staying anywhere near his roommate when he continues “You can come over whenever you like. You know that, right?” 

“I know, Woo.” 

“I barely even see you these days, I… Oh! I forgot!” he points to the end of the hall, towards the kitchen “You guys don't really like each other so maybe don't come over when he's here because I don't want to see you sad!” 

“Lower your voice,” you whisper to him, bringing a hand to his face and patting his cheek a few times to wake him up “Did the alcohol suddenly hit you or something?” you sigh for the umpteenth time “Anyways, you should lay down and I'll get going. I'll come pick her up tomorrow and—” 

“That's such a great idea! Oh, I'm a genius.” 

“You didn't come up with it, Wooyoung.”

“San!” he calls all of the sudden and you wish he was sober enough to read the panic on your features. He seems much, much sober when his best friend starts walking down the hall and stops right beside you “Take Y/N home, please, she's going to give you a bag that you must protect with your life.” 

Said best friend looks at you, his eyebrow arched in a silent question “Gyuri’s stuff.” 

“Ah.”

“Go, go. It's getting late, I'll just… I'll cuddle with my ex until you get home.” 

And she has the nerve to say he doesn't want her back. 

When the door to Wooyoung's room closes and you're left with San on the poorly lit hallway, you make a mental note to never step foot on this place or allow your friends to drink ever again. 

You don't even look at the guy before practically running down the hallway and reaching for your bag. You make sure your phone is secured in your pocket as you slip your shoes on and soon you're grabbing the front door knob and twisting it. 

Keys jingle next to you but, again, you don't spare San a glance. 

“So—” 

“I'll get out of your hair, you don't have to… walk me home or whatever he said.” 

“Y/N, it's late.” 

Turning to him, your smile is as fake as the ones you've been giving him the past couple of years “And I'm a grown up, San, I can walk myself home.” 

“What about Gyuri’s stuff?” 

“She can wear Wooyoung's clothes, it's not like they never shared before. Anyway… Thank you for having me, it was nice to see you. Goodnight.” Your response comes out fast and it sounds as planned out as it actually is, kinda robotic and devoid of actual emotion. 

San can't see through you the way you see through him. It's okay, he won't mind it. 

He probably won't mind that you close his own door on his face either. 

If that door is what you hear when you're making your way down the stairs in order to make a fast escape, you choose to ignore it. 

You have to stop mid-way to compose yourself. You don't know why you feel like crying or why your heart is beating so fast. 

You knew going in that there was a possibility of seeing him tonight. You know how San affects you, so effortless and seemingly like no time has passed at all in between senior year and present day. 

You know all of this already, it's an endless loop that will keep repeating until you either move away or decide to stop agreeing to Wooyoung's plans all together. 

So why is your chest heaving with emotion? Why is nostalgia playing mind tricks with you? Why do you want to turn back and hug him and beg him to turn back time so you can do it all differently now that you know how to look like and what to say to make him love you back? 

Ah, you're definitely not sleeping tonight. So you start distracting yourself while walking down the stairs again. You remind yourself to tell a much sober Wooyoung how proud you are of him. You think about Seonghwa, about his kind eyes and the way he grabbed your hand to dance with him just half an hour ago. You wonder how long it will take you to get home if you jog all the way there. You—

Why the fuck is San outside when you get there? 

In a comedic way, you can see your attempt to distract your mind off of him slipping through your fingers and evaporating in the warm summer night breeze. 

In a realistic way, you're fucking pissed at him for taking the opportunity of a good night sleep away from you. 

You pass him and start jogging like you planned a minute ago. Footsteps follow you until his arm brushes yours and you take a step to the side to stop it from happening again. 

“Go home, Choi San.” 

“Stop fighting it, Y/N. I'm walking you home.” 

“It's a twenty minute walk—” 

“Drop it.” 

You do. And for the first ten minutes, no one utters a word even if the tension feels electric and the street is so quiet so you can hear when his breath accelerates when he jogs to catch up to you whenever you try to leave him behind. 

Isn't that ironic. He was the one who left you behind all those years ago. 

“I didn't know that you danced.” 

He breaks the uncomfortable but safe silence to say that? 

“Well, you saw me dance so I clearly dance when I want to.” 

“You never danced with me.” 

“You never asked me to.” 

He laughs “I'm pretty sure I did on several occasions, Y/N.” 

“Well, you're wrong,” you're getting annoyed. How dare he think he remembers better than you? “It doesn't matter anyway, what's past is past and—” 

“You also gave Hwa your number,” he interrupts, his long legs taking two strides to get in front of you, still walking, facing your direction with his hands on his pockets. 

It's dangerous and stupid, even if the streets are practically empty and the sidewalk barely has any bumps. 

You hope he falls on his pretty face.

“I did.* 

“I don't have your number.” 

“Well, I changed it and you never asked for it, so…” 

“You could've called me or texted me to let me know you did it.” 

He's getting on your nerves.

“San,” you start, taking in a deep breath you hope calms you down “We don't even text anymore, why would you want my number?” 

“Do you like him?” 

“Seonghwa?” you ask, frowning and he nods “Like… As a person?” 

“As a potential love interest.” He clarifies matter-of-factly and you roll your eyes. 

“I met him today, San. Why do you want my number?” 

“Because we're friends?” he offers after a second, shifting so he's walking by your side again. 

“Are we?” you ask, laughing bitterly at that “Because we haven't spoken a word to each other in years.” 

“That's not true.” 

“It is, San.” 

“You… You don't speak to me anymore, so…” 

“Well your girlfriend at the time told me she didn't feel comfortable with me speaking to you anymore,” you sigh “so I didn't and you didn't try to talk to me either.” 

“Well, I want to talk to you now.” 

“And is your new girlfriend aware of that? Is she comfortable with that? Because I don't want anyone telling me what to do anymore and—” 

“Why wouldn't she be comfortable? We're friends, Y/N.” 

“Are we?” you insist, petty, bitter and overall very, very hurt. 

He looks offended at that “I assumed we were?” 

He's getting on your fucking nerves. 

“We stopped being friends the second Minseo asked me to stay away from you because she didn't like me, San.” 

“She’s not in my life anymore—” 

The words are coming out of your mouth without even thinking it through. His demeanor, the way he's somehow reproaching you for whatever he saw between you and his friend, the way he pretends nothing happened between you and him, thinking that you two are still friends. 

“We stopped being friends when you pulled away from me, saw me do the same and did nothing to stop it from happening, San.” 

He stops in his tracks at that. You don't, pushing forward and quickening your step even if your calves burn. 

“Either way,” you speak up “Make sure you tell your girlfriend about wanting my number and then you can ask Seonghwa for it if you want—” 

“She's not my girlfriend anymore!” 

Now that stops you, just a few buildings down from yours, you turn around just to find San closer that you thought he'll be.

“O-oh. I… I didn't know that. I'm sorry.” 

“You didn't do anything to be sorry for.” 

“Still, it must suck so I'm sorry you're going through that.” 

“We didn't want the same things and so we ended it. It is what it is.” 

You nod. 

He walks the few steps separating you and you have to raise your chin a little to look him in the eye for the first time since you left his apartment “I wanted to tell you.” 

“That you broke up with your girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, I don't know why. It happened when I broke up with Minseo too, I just… You're the first person that I thought of calling when it happened. I texted you, too, but the messages didn't go through.” 

You hum at that. 

Why would he even say that? 

You resume your step, not really knowing what to say until you reach the stairs that lead to your building’s entrance. 

“And you didn't ask Woo for my number?” 

He follows you up. 

“I don't think he would've given it to me if I asked.” 

That sounds like an excuse, so you don't let it slide as you enter the code to your building and let yourself inside, San holding the door so he can get in as well “Why would he do that?” 

“Because he…” San sighs, pressing the elevator button “Nevermind. He just wouldn't.”

Frowning, you turn to him “No, now you have to tell me.” 

“It doesn't matter, really—” 

“Tell me, San.” 

He stares for a second and then looks away, like a child, vulnerable and you can't help but soften at that “He didn't like the way I treated you.” 

Eating your words from before, you shake your head “You didn't treat me like anything.” 

The elevator dings and you get inside. 

San follows you. 

“Exactly,” he says, resting his shoulder on the metal “Like you said I just did nothing and—” 

“Well, sometimes that's just what happens,” you want to end this. You want to pack Gyuri’s bag, give it to him and never see him again. 

This conversation hurts, it reopens barely closed wounds and it creates new ones you don't really need when it comes to whatever happened between you two. 

There's only so much a person can handle and it really doesn't help that you're a fool for San. He takes advantage of it, of the fact you can't really push him away at this point and the fact that he wants to have this conversation now instead of four and half years ago? 

Mean. 

He's mean. He's evil. He's… He's staring at you with a spark in his eyes that you recognize too well. 

Hope. 

When you get to your floor, you try to wipe the image away while busying yourself with your keys. Your hands tremble a little but you're able to open the door of your apartment and get in without inviting him. 

He gets in anyway. You take off your shoes as he closes the front door. 

He stays silent as he follows you around the apartment and you don't worry about turning the lights on. You get into Gyuri’s room and start picking out a comfy hangover outfit for your friend. Some clean underwear, sweatpants, two shirts and socks. 

When you drop to the floor, in front of the closet, to look for a bag to stash all of it in, San silently clutches beside you. 

“It shouldn't have happened to us. Never us.” 

You can't take it anymore. 

“San, what is this? What are you doing? I mean, why are we—” 

“I know.” 

“It's been years…”  

“I miss you.” 

He's so mean. But the softness in his tone resembles the one he used all the way back in highschool, when he told you that not being friends with you didn't feel right and you want to cave in right there and then. 

Your heart screams at you to do it, your reason warns you that you both have been through this before and it never ends right. 

You simply can't stay friends with Choi San. 

Your love for him must run too deep, your resentment claws at it and tries to hurt it but it's an immovable force that won't budge even if you try to bury it under the years that have passed, the things he has done. 

Tears gather in your eyes and you try to blink them away as you stare at your best friend's clothes on your lap and try to come up with something to close this path up again, reconstruct the picket fence you built around it the second he broke your heart for the first time. 

“Yeah,” you whisper back, letting the walls fall a little “I miss you too but I don't think I miss whatever version of you you are right now, San.” 

“W-what?”

His shaky voice makes the walls crumble and crash. 

Turning to him, your hand shakes as you place it on top of his “And you don't miss the version of me I am right now. You miss what I was back then, the comfort and the shoulder to cry on I offered you when Arin and you broke up. You miss my availability and the way I didn't press my feelings on you because it didn't matter if I liked you or not, you were my friend first and the guy that I had a crush second but—” you choke up, tears falling down your cheeks even if you don't want them to “I can't do it anymore. I'm not that girl anymore and I won't be there for you now that you and Kyungmi broke up because I can't handle it. I can't, I'm sorry.” 

He doesn't deny any of it.

He stares at you, tears wetting his cheeks as well and it hurts even more this way. You wish you had the strength to hold it together, to treat him like you did on the street a few minutes ago, but you can't. 

There's no way you could ever hate him like you want to. 

“You know…” he starts in a whisper, letting out a humorless chuckle “That's what I used to tell myself too.” 

“Hm?” 

“That you were my friend first and the girl that I had a crush on second.” 

How dare he mutter the words you always wanted to hear, the ones you picture being said in a different setting, the ones that haunted your every waking thought that period of time you doubted your friends, your mom, yourself for even believing Choi San could ever have a crush on you. 

He doesn't get to say them. You want to tell him but the words die on your throat and form a lump that you can't swallow down. 

You don't get to say that. You don't get to say that. 

Your hand drops from his and you look away again only to grab the first bag you find on the closet floor and shove Gyuri’s stuff in it. 

If the lack of response it's what prompts the hurt in his voice the next time he speaks, you don't want to think about it. 

“I wish I didn't. Now it's too late to do something about it, huh?” 

This time the rage comes back with a mask on. Feing settlement for all the what if’s covers you like a blanket on a really hot summer night: unwanted, unnecessary. 

But you can't sleep without it, so you do nothing to push it away. 

“I guess it is.” 

You get up from the floor, leaving the room and wiping your face with bitterness coating your movements as you wait by the door for him to get out. 

When he does and he steps in front of you, you extend the bag and he takes it without missing a beat. 

Voice robotic and words premeditated, you open the front door for him “Thanks for walking me home and taking this back.” 

He leans a little into your space and you don't move away. But just as he did in highschool, he takes in your hitched breath and does nothing more.

“Thanks for letting me talk to you.” 

He didn't give you much of a choice there but it's okay. This is closure, this is the end of your story with Choi San and you convince yourself you're glad that it is. 

“Sure,” you whisper back and he steps outside, turning around to watch you slowly close the door “goodnight, San.” 

He doesn't say it back. 

When the darkness of your apartment engulfs you, that's when you let yourself breakdown. Covering your mouth with your palm, you descend until your knees are against the wood on the floor and closing your eyes you make it a point to let it all out. 

You'll let it all out, drink some water, text Wooyoung and Gyuri to let them know you're safe and go to bed. 

And tomorrow you'll begin your day with the freedom of finally knowing what would've happened if you or San ever took the next step. 

This is fine. This is moving on. This is— 

The doorbell rings. 

Opening the door again, you crease your eyebrows in a silent question that San doesn't care to answer, so you look around the floor in case he forgot something you're missing. You wipe your cheeks and under your eyes as you turn to him again “Did you—” 

Time slows down when he makes it past the threshold and you can't move an inch, gaping at who you once thought was the love of your life “What are you doing, San?” 

“Something about it.” 

“What?” 

“Forgive me,” he asks, breathless and in a murmur, fueling your confusion. And then he's closing the distance, dropping Gyuri’s bag and cupping your face so gently that it hurts “but I'm doing something about it.” 

You stopped dreaming about the possibility of San kissing you that one time you two were on your bed and, another time, you told yourself that, if it ever happened, you wouldn't kiss him back. 

It's too late to kiss him back. 

But sparks fly when he crushes you against the wall and takes in a breath before slothing his mouth against yours like he's been waiting to do this every single day for the past nine years you've known each other. 

There's nothing you can do to conceal the way yearning takes over you, pours out of you, making you breathe into his open mouth and kiss him back like you always wanted to. 

You already know it is a mistake by the time you grab his shirt to keep him in place but does it really matter when this is all you ever wanted? 

Feeling warmth leave your face, you notice the way he desperately crowds your space as his chest bumps into yours, leg claiming its place in between yours, the palm that leaves you pressing against the wall, next to your head. 

The kiss is filled with emotion, with longing and desire and it steals the air out of your lungs tragically and beautifully at the same time. Before, you used to dream about his lips making everything feel right, making you fit in in a world you didn't feel like you belonged to. 

But this kiss drops you into uncharted territory, drags you into the depths of something that should be buried by now, after all this time. It brings the flame back to life and it's dangerous. 

The fact that it feels this way, both marvelous and catastrophic at the same time, makes you so sad. 

Sorrow descends down your face until your mouth is picking it up and your tongue is mixing it with whatever emotion is cruising through San right now. 

You have to know. 

He spent your entire youth and early adulthood keeping it to himself, knowing when to show his true colors and when to hide them, choosing who to do it with and you realize the San that lives in your head is nothing but a figment of what you wanted him to be. 

Because him holding to your waist like it's his only lifeline doesn't fit the San you remember, him telling you he liked you back then doesn't fit the guy who was just your best friend. 

You need to know. 

“San,” brokenly, you speak into his mouth and he pulls away just enough to see your face. Your eyes remain closed, your chest heaving and your lips trembling “Why are you doing this?” 

“Because I want you, Y/N.” 

You push him away, weakly, almost like you don't really mean it because deep down you don't but he steps away like you're asking to. 

Because, of course, your mind scraps the bottom of your resentment to give his words a completely new meaning. 

“You can find another girl to fuck and be your rebound, San,” more tears spill down and you wipe them away in anger but more threat to fall down so you cover your face with your hands and groan, desperate “I can't do this, especially not when I know that you know how bad I wanted you. Y-you know what you do to me San so stop—”

“I want you in my life. I don't— What? I don't want you like a rebound, I… Can we sit down and turn on a light so I can look at you when I say this?” 

His words should be reassuring but they're not, the way you tend to feel unlovable around him coming up to the surface, preventing you from thinking clearly. 

You can also feel his lips on yours still. It's dizzying but you manage to push yourself off the wall and pad around until you hit the switch of the warm light lamp near the couch and the apartment comes to life just like that. 

He takes in the space he's never seen before, walking slowly towards the living room and looking over the bookshelf that screams your name all over it. He smiles a bit as he looks over the book titles and you look away before your heart starts acting up again. 

You can't stay mad at him for long if he's looking through something so personal to you and smiling that fondly at it. It feels even more intimate than the kiss you two just shared. 

Wiping your cheeks once more, you are sure you look a mess but he doesn't seem to mind it once he comes into your point of view, sitting down on the couch, in front of your standing form. He grabs you by your hands until you're sitting next to him, close to him, cologne intoxicating your senses. 

“I told you I liked you when we were in highschool, right?” 

You nod. 

“You seemed surprised but it was dark so I'm not really sure. I thought you knew, everyone knew.” 

Oh, he's a comedian. 

“How would I have known, San? I… Yeri told me you liked me one time, in senior year, but I denied it. Then, my mom told me you seemed to want me in a non-platonic way and I dismissed her as well,” you take in a deep, shaky breath “For me, the thought of you liking me just didn't make sense. You loved Arin and she's… She doesn't look or act like I did back then at all, so how would I have known?” 

You didn't need clues and puzzles and what if’s, you needed words and actions that weren't confusing. You needed him to tell you back then, because telling you right now and kissing you senseless after he broke up with a girl he supposedly was very in love with means nothing but pain. 

“I didn't realize you liked me too,” you make a face, about to tell him off, but he interrupts “I didn't! I thought you liked Yeri and I thought you saw me as the annoying guy who wouldn't leave you alone. I only just realized it a couple years ago, because Woo told me.” 

You raise your eyebrows and mutter under your breath “I'm murdering him tomorrow.” 

The corner of his lips twitch before he shakes his head in dismissal of what you said “I liked you. I really, really liked you and never told a soul because… Well, it's scary when you fall in love, right?” 

“San, you had no problem telling Arin, Minseo or Kyungmi that you liked them.” 

He looks down to the floor, lost in thought and you want to open your mouth to take what you just said into a new direction, but you don't “Maybe that's because I didn't love them the way I love you.” 

Oh. 

Love you? As in… He loves you right now too? 

No way. 

“You didn't love me, San. You don't love me right now either, you… Maybe we both were in love with the idea of love? Maybe that's what happened and—” 

“Quit telling me what I'm feeling, Y/N. You always do that, you always assume you know what I'm feeling but you don't!” 

Raising your voice a little more, you try to get your point across in the worst way possible: by being stubborn “You don't know me! How can you possibly—” 

“I knew you back then, Y/N! And I loved you back then, too!” He looks like wants to say something more but he doesn't, instead, he takes a calming breath and then leans into your space for the third time tonight “And I might not know you now but I want to. That's what I meant when I said that I want you. I want you in my life, I want to know the person you became when we stopped talking, I want to talk to you every single day and I want to hold you and kiss you and be by your side however you want me to, I just… I can't lose you again.” 

His confession renders you speechless and you notice his chest is heaving, going up and down in sync with yours. 

But the way he pulled away from you senior year still hurts, it paints a picture of what's going to happen if you accept this. 

You can't believe his words. 

He must feel lonely and confused, like he did when Arin broke up with him. He must be looking for a shelter you can't provide. 

“And when you find another girl that's more to your liking? What then, San?” 

“There's no one that I love more than you, Y/N and I'm sorry I was shit at proving it back then and I'm sorry that it took so many years for me to come to my senses.” 

He's tearing up and your heart pangs absurdly loud at that. 

“I saw you with Seonghwa earlier today, laughing and dancing and flirting and I thought: Oh, maybe if I didn't waste that much time pretending I'm someone I'm not, that would be me.” 

You stare for a second, you watch a single tear drop down his cheek and then look away. 

“Is that what you were doing? Is that why you pulled away?” 

“Maybe?” he offers and you turn to him again. Is not enough and maybe he can see it in your expression, because he goes on “I mean, I… I thought I wanted Arin. I thought I wanted Minseo. I had people in my life who were really happy to see me with them and I just…” 

“Wanted to keep them happy,” you nod, understanding. He doesn't have to say his mothers name for you to know he's referring to her and maybe his other highschool friends outside of Wooyoung “Were you pretending with me as well?” 

“No,” he answers right away “You and Woo were the only ones who saw me for who I really was back then.” 

“And why do you think you love me now, San?” you ask, deflating against the couch and ignoring the way your heart soars at his quick response.

“Because I never stopped,” he stammers out and then clears his throat “Because I looked for you in Minseo and Kyungmi and I wondered for years why they couldn't make me feel the same way. And I told myself I didn't need to feel the same way and that I deserved to wonder for the rest of my days but seeing you tonight? I can't.” 

Straightening your spine, the pained look you sent in his direction is not intentional but it prompts him to lean closer and closer until he's cupping your cheek again. 

“I can't keep wondering.” His voice is a sweet whisper, a siren song that draws you in until your forehead is resting against his. 

All these years, you were so self-focused on changing to a better version of who he used to know, learning from your mistakes and closing off to the opportunity of letting him prove himself a better man, you forgot that time passed for him too. He’s telling you he changed, too. 

Imagination is a safe space. Is where you hide, where desire can take its wings and fly high without hurting you too much. Make belief has rescued you before but this? The way his nose nuzzles softly into yours and your breaths tangle? This is very real. And reality is prone to hurt you. 

But the want you feel is undeniable. The way your entire being wants to cave in and give him an opportunity is suffocating, it makes you choke out a sob that he follows with one of his own. 

You kiss him, softly at the beginning, but his hands on you tighten and you let yourself get lost in the way they go down your neck and your arms, caressing you softly until they reach your waist and pull you into his lap. 

Pulling away, you grab his chin with two fingers and force his teary eyes to snap open, searching for an answer on yours.

“If you hurt me,” you start, breathless “If you're mocking me, if you're using me to get over Kyungmi, if you are pulling me back in to break my heart again, Choi San, I swear to God I will kill you.” 

“I won't do that to you ever again, Y/N,” he returns softly “I love you, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you but I love you.” 

Others would argue that it is pathetic how quickly you forgive him. But then again, you could never be mad at San. 

You were only mad at yourself for how everything turned out. 

“I love you too, Sannie.” 

Saying something never felt so freeing before. 

“Oh, Y/N…” you can see the way relief washes his worries away “Y/N…” he starts to say but then leans in to kiss you again and never finishes his words. 

You don't mind it. 

Pouring out all the pent up affection you pretended to bury for years, you explore his mouth and carve into your memory the way he feels. The way he sighs into it when your tongue brushes his, the way he pulls you in closer when your fingers reach the nape of his neck and pull on his hair there, hands splayed on your back so he can keep you in place as he leans down and places you against the worn out couch. 

He maps you out, hands going down your waist in a familiar feeling that brings back that memory of you two laying down on your bed. Only this time, he's actually touching you with a purpose. This time, you two have made up your minds and your limbs are tangled in a way you can feel all of him pressing up against you. 

It starts to get stuffy, the space on the couch not nearly enough to have him the way you want to. Soon, you're both standing up, mouths still moving against each other and hands roaming everywhere until you're undoing the buttons on his shirt. 

He pulls away to fully take it off, eyes never leaving yours, dropping the shirt to the ground, next to the couch and then he's on you again, making your back crash into the wall as he works the knots keeping your blouse together. 

He walks you through the hall, stopping only to take your top off and then he's walking you to a room that has a familiar scent that doesn't belong to you.

“Wrong room, wrong room,” you say into his lips and he laughs, looking to your surroundings “Mine’s over there.” you point to the other end of the hall, taking his hand and pulling him towards it. 

You don't make it far before he's yanking you towards him again. He looks down, taking your body in and you do the same, his firm and defined stomach a sight you never thought you would be able to see. 

“You're so beautiful,” he whispers, backing you against the wall again and kissing your cheek “So, so beautiful.” 

Turning your head to chase his mouth, he lets out a heavy sigh when his lips trail a path to your neck and murmurs against the skin there “I never told you how beautiful I found you before but you're so perfect, baby.” 

“I always thought I wasn't your type, San,” you let out a noise when he grabs your hips and pulls you forward, crashing his into yours “Fuck.” 

“And I always thought you were too much for me, too smart,” he kisses his way back up, focusing on your jaw and chin until he's kissing your cheek again “too pretty,” he moves to your ear, pecking right under it and you hold him closer “too good for me.” 

It doesn't really matter that this is all new to you, the way he's speaking, the tenor of his voice, the things he's saying… It sparks something familiar in you. You're pulling his hair back to make him look at you, a moan slipping out of his lips at that. 

You want to hear it again. 

He's smiling at your reaction, hand tightening on his locks.

However, that smile drops when he seems to recognize the gleam in your eyes. 

You gather up courage, feeling empowered by the way his hooded eyes darken but wait patiently for you to speak your mind. 

“Maybe I'm too good for you now, too,” you lean in, your lips softly tracing his “Maybe you should prove to me that you deserve me, San.” 

It's a dare. One that he seems to like a lot because his eyes sparkle with the same fire they used to back in the day. 

“Oh, I'll prove it to you, alright.” He whispers, panting when you let go of his hair and he leans into you to kiss your lips briefly before pulling away again.

His hand tilts your head back and you rest it against the cold wall, his fingers touch your bottom lip before going down and down and down until they rest against the seam of your pants, unbuttoning them in one swift movement. 

Going back up, his nails softly dig into your skin and you preen, taking the soft sting of his ministrations like you two have done this a million times before.  

His mouth is on yours again, his hands are pulling you off the wall and into your room until you two land on your mattress, a moan spilling out of your lips when he sloths his knee in between your legs and pulls them apart with expertise. 

You don't have the mind to break down what that means. 

Opening your eyes when he kisses down your neck again, you notice your room is barely lit by the street lights outside, curtains pulled open and windows closed but, this way, you can see the way San kisses between your breasts and your belly, catching his eyes when he looks up to measure your reaction. 

You sigh, already feeling some sort of build up going on down there and he hasn't even touched you properly yet. 

You don't even want to think about how wet you actually are. 

He leans back, open palms going down your legs slowly until they reach your feet. It tickles and you can't help but let out a giggle that he joins short after, his gaze never losing the edge because of it, though. 

“San…” 

He guides your hips up so he can take off your pants and you sigh when his hands return, raising your leg up “I missed your laugh,” he says low, attaching his lips to your calf “I miss being the one making you laugh too.” 

You feel like crying again but then he's letting your leg down and grabbing the other one to give it the same treatment, so your tears can wait. 

This time, he moves upwards till his mouth nears your clothed center and your breath hitches. 

Yeah, you can definitely cry later.

“You want me to prove to you how much I want you, Y/N?” he murmurs, his lips ghosting your mound now “How much I love you?” 

“San, p-please…” 

“Fuck, look at you.” He sounds like he's too lost in the heat of the moment and you're kind of grateful, because the moan you let out when his fingers hook on your underwear and pull them to the side to expose your pussy to his hungry eyes is loud. 

When he kisses you right where you need him, you let out another moan. And when he parts your folds to lick a stripe up to your clit, you curse him under your breath until he's laughing against you softly, the vibrations accumulating heat on your belly. 

He doesn't tease you much longer and you look down at him just to catch the moment his self control slips, eating you out like a man starved while his hand stays on your hip to hold you down and keep you underwear from interrupting his feast. 

“This is like,” he dives in again for a few seconds and you grab the sheets beneath you “All my fantasies coming to life but better.” 

He's so chatty during this and the only thing you can do is stammer a yeah? and pray for it to reach his ears.

“Mhm,” He circles your clit with the tip of his tongue and your legs shake “It tastes even better than what I dreamed, too.” 

The heat of his mouth leaves you, lips spreading your wetness through your stomach until he fully reaches your face, your eyes closed and lips already waiting for him. 

Tongue caressing yours, your hands trail down his torso and focus on getting his pants off. You're shaking with excitement so it proves to be more difficult than you imagined at first but he helps you in unbuckling his belt. 

Once the piece of clothing is on the floor (or the bed, you're not really paying attention to where it lands), you don't waste time in feeling him up through his boxers. 

The hiss you get in return makes you smile. 

Bringing your lips to his neck, you suckle on this pulse point and gain another pleased noise before grazing your teeth against skin and moving to his collarbone next.

In a way, you get what he means. If he truly was pining over you the way you were pining over him, the thought of exploring his tan skin and making him moan feels like a dream. 

So you kiss him again in order to make it all last longer. 

The minutes pass between the both of you, softly making out and figuring out what gets both of you going, discarding your underwear in the process. 

You realize your moans make San’s cock twitch against your leg and he seems to notice the way your hips buck up everytime his hands handle you more roughly. 

After a few minutes of just this, you feel his hand making its way down again and the pads of his fingers circle your clit until you're grasping the sheets again. He gathers your arousal and then enters one finger slowly and when it slides in and out with ease, he enters the next one. 

There's really not much prepping he needs to do, already soft and compliant under him, you relax into his comfortable touch before you're aching for something else. And your mouth is preoccupied with his, so you do something else to catch his attention. 

Hands caressing his back, you let them drop to his ass with a soft smack that wins you a soft huff on amusement and then a whine when you move his hips towards yours. 

“Condom?” 

You shake your head “I'm clean and I have an implant.” 

“Oh?” he smirks, about to tease you but you squeeze his butt again and he moans “Fuck. I'm clean too.” 

“Good,” you whisper against his cheek, laughing as he arranges his position. 

And he might've been touching you all this time, kissing you until your mind emptied and your lips are all swollen up, but the look on his eyes when he slowly enters you is what might drive you over the edge. 

Grabbing your hands, he pins them on the side of your head as he moves, dropping his head down with a groan as you take him in, nose touching yours and moth whispering sweet things you can't quite pick up. 

He feels so good. 

This all feels way too good to be real. 

In the cloud you're at, you allow yourself to dream a little more before the reality of what your confessions mean dawns on you. 

For now, you allow San to make love to you. Sweetly, slowly and with a passion you never were lucky enough to encounter before. 

Maybe it's because your previous lovers didn't have your heart the way San does. 

He rams his hips into yours hard, closing his eyes and resting his warm cheek against yours, kissing your face inch by inch when you accompany his movements with your own. 

When his pace picks up, you hug him close and secure your legs around his hips as you moan. 

“Y-yes, fuck.” 

“Like that?” he repeats the movement from before, pulling out and then in with such force it rocks the entire bed. 

“Just like that, baby, fuck.” 

“God, you sound so good,” you smile a little, forehead resting on his shoulder before your head falls down against your pillow again “I love you,” he repeats against your lips, letting your hands go to cup your face with both of his again “I love you so much.” 

Teetering over the edge, you feel happy tears stinging in your eyes. Though closed, you can feel San’s stare on you, on your face, on the way you react to his sweet words and relentless pace. 

You say it back in a whisper and he repeats it again and again and again until you're both coming and tears are spilling down your cheeks. 

He kisses them away. 

You wipe his with trembling fingers as you come down, having trouble breathing from everything that just happened. 

You don't feel suffocated anymore, you feel like you've been freed. Like this was supposed to happen at some point and you two finally got around to it. 

“I love you,” he says once more before slipping out of you with a parting kiss. 

Holy shit. 

When San gets up from the bed and you point him to the bathroom, down the hallway, you're left with a sticky mess in between your legs and a lot to think about but you settle on four things. 

San just made love to you. There's no way that was just sex. 

There's also no way you're coming back from this. 

Gyuri is probably going to kill you. 

And that, obviously, your feelings for San never left. You feel the familiar warmth of them spreading through your post-orgasmic state. They're there, mocking you, asking you who the fuck you thought you were for pushing them away. 

He returns, toilet paper in his hands before leaning in and cleaning you up, lips immediately finding home on your skin as he does. 

You both giggle at that.

You probably need to shower but you've been crying and there's no way you're leaving this bed tonight. He throws the paper away on your bedroom’s trashcan and then crashes into the bed next to you, still naked, still looking at you with so much love you're wondering what stopped you from seeing it was there before. 

Taking his hand, you bring it to his lip and give his knuckles a peck “That was really good.” 

“It was.” 

“I can't believe we actually just did that…” 

He smiles and what he says next shocks you even more than his confession “I want to take you out.” 

“San… You just came inside me not even ten minutes ago.” 

“And?” you laugh and he shakes his head, leaning into your space again “I spent many years doing everything wrong, let me do it the right way.” 

“Making love to me one time and then taking me out on a date is not the right way, sir.” 

He nuzzles your cheek with his nose and you let out a pleased sigh “Who said it was just one time, huh?” Attacking your neck with his lips again, you push him away with a laugh. 

“Oh, come on!” 

He laughs as well “Give me ten minutes and I'll make it two!” 

San makes love to you two more times. And by four in the morning, you're snuggled into his arms and sleeping soundly. 

When you wake up and find the space next to you empty, you think it was all a dream. Your naked form begs to differ and you quickly put the t-shirt you usually wear to bed on and your panties underneath it to go out and face the feelings of your actions fighting with the blender in the kitchen. 

“How do you two live with this stupid thing?” 

“We don't,” you answer, startling him “We don't use it. What are you trying to make?” 

San’s shirtless, wearing his pants and his hair messy. Looking back at the living room clock, you see it's just five past ten. 

Smiling as he approaches you, you forget you must look a mess too when he pecks your lips and barely pulls away “Good morning, beautiful.” 

You pretend to cringe at that, pulling away “Oh, God. Morning, dumbass.” 

“You like it, you're blushing,” he points out and the pink on your cheek deepens as he's going back to the blender “Does anything work here?” 

“The microwave,” you shrug “And the stove. Were you trying to make yourself a…” you look over the ingredients he has pulled out of your fridge “Green juice?” 

“I was trying to make both of us a green juice,” he corrects and your heart skips at the immediate domestic attitude he has with you “But now I can tell neither of you drink anything like it, hm? I'm buying you a blender.” 

“Please don't.” 

“Why?” 

“Why do you think that one is broken?” 

He hums, huffing out a laugh seconds later and you walk over to him, unsure on how to approach him even though what you did yesterday night and earlier this morning didn't allow your shyness to step in. 

Now you're feeling it. 

He can tell, because he stops fighting with the steel appliances to grab your waist and pull you close “I wanted to make you breakfast.” 

“We can make breakfast together and I can order your green juice,” you compromise and he nods, but he doesn't let you go “And later we can go out on that date you promised me yesterday and we can go over what we're going to tell the two idiots.” 

His smile drops. 

“Oh, fuck.” 

Grimacing, you nod “It was the second thing I thought about after waking up.” 

“What was the first?” 

“Oh, I was trying to remember if you ever asked me to dance before,” he nods with a smile “Guess what? You didn't.” 

He fake gasps at that “I did!” 

“No, you didn't!” 

“Babe, yes I did,” he insists and you laugh, which prompts him to wrap his hands around you tighter when you try to get away from him “It was when—” 

“Oh. My. God. I'm going to be sick again.” 

Now when the fuck did Gyuri come back. 

And why is Wooyoung with her too, jaw slack as he watches both of you pull away from each other and create a safe distance that doesn't help whatever your best friends just saw. 

“It worked?” he asks and you can barely hear him until he hollers like a crazy person “Oh, it worked! I am a genius!” 

“Wooyoung, hold me! I'm going to kill them!” Gyuri looks like she's about to launch towards you at any second now, so you close your eyes and accept your fate. But nothing happens “Wait— What worked?” 

When you open them again, San is hiding behind you and Gyuri’s back is to both of you as she looks at Wooyoung with, what you assume, murderous intentions. 

“Gyuri, let's talk about this,” the black haired guy puts his hands up “You were too drunk to discuss it so I made the choice of— Gyuri, no!” 

You burst into laughter when she starts chasing him around the apartment and San giggles as well, only more nervous than delighted by their little cat and mouse game. 

He's probably sensing he's next on her hit list. 

As if you would let anything happen to him in the first place. 

“Stop, stop! I'm sorry, please leave me alone!” you hear Wooyoung’s voice echoing through your hall and in a second he's entering the kitchen, rounding you and San “I'm so happy for you guys, really, this was meant to happ— Stop!” He cries when Gyur catches onto him and yanks his hair to stop him from running.  

“Y/N,” she starts, chest heaving and you take a step back, crashing into San’s chest. He holds onto you only to push you a little and protect himself from the fury of your best friend “When I told you fuck him I didn't meant this!” 

“I know.” 

Wooyoung whines but he can't get away from her grasp so he just accepts it and pouts like a child. 

“A-and you!” She points towards the guy resting his chin on your shoulder “How dare you! If this is something casual for you then—” 

“I love her.” He defends himself quickly and your heart all but stops at that. 

“You do?” Wooyoung coos, amazed at his best friend’s confession. 

Gyuri's anger falters at that. 

“You… You do?” 

“And I love him,” you let out in a shy whisper, smiling a bit “But you already knew that.” 

“Of course I already knew that, bitch, I am your other half,” she makes a point to stare at San as she says it, letting Wooyoung go and he massages the part of his scalp that was targeted by his ex “Don't forget that.” 

“Y-yes ma'am.” 

You laugh again and Woo joins the embrace, eyeing you both expectantly and rolling his eyes when neither of you say anything to him “Well, you are so welcome guys. What are we having for breakfast?” 

You and San don't get to go out on that date. 

But when you do, he asks you to be his girlfriend the next day. 

And when you say yes he almost breaks down in excited tears.

Eventually, even Gyuri comes around and threatens him into treating you right, which means he earned her seal of approval. 

You delete the document on your laptop when you find it a month into being his girlfriend and, instead, start drafting your new beginning on it, in first person this time because the story doesn't feel like it belongs to someone else now.

The first line read as it follows: 

How did I ever think San and I could be just friends? 

If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

© jensthwa, 2024.

[thef1diary]

Podium Princess | LN + CS + CL

Summary: Lando lost a bet, which would have just temporarily damaged his ego, but the problem was that you were the prize that Charles and Carlos desired for one night.

masterlist taglist form

© thef1diary 2024. do not repost without permission

Warnings: 18+, mmmf, unprotected sex, three men for three holes 🤭, fingering, oral, anal, dp?, filthy as fuck, derogatory terms (kinda), praise, overstimulation, riding.

pairing: lando x fem!reader x carlos x charles

wc: 3.1k

Request: You should totally write a smut about lando sharing his girlfriend with Carlos and Charles after placing in the #australiangp

"You did what?" You asked your boyfriend, wondering if you misheard his words. "I made a bet," Lando responded, but this time with more assurance.

You sat down on the bed in your shared hotel room and asked, "what is it?" Patting the spot next to you, silently indicating Lando to sit down and begin explaining the bet. You've known from the years you've been dating that whenever he places a wager, he eventually loses, but you chose against mentioning it.

He hesitated for a moment but then decided to explain how he ended up in that situation.

The evening began when Lando noticed Carlos and Charles speaking after the qualifying session. He observed they had been spending a lot of time together recently, so Lando obviously had to approach them and disrupt their latest gossip session.

Putting the trio together, one would discover that they never run out of topics to discuss, which is how they found themselves sitting in a car in the parking lot outside their hotel. Carlos suggested that since they were all staying at the same hotel for the weekend, they might as well leave the track together.

However, during the car ride, there was a discussion that quickly brought out the competitive nature that each driver had developed at a young age. "What, you guys don't think I'll win?" Lando asked the Ferrari drivers, slightly offended. This particular topic of conversation started once they discussed the possible winners for the race tomorrow.

Based on the three practice sessions and qualifying, it could be argued that while they all had a fairly nice weekend so far, some were still more fortunate than others. As a result, the Spaniard shook his head, disagreeing with his friend, "mate, I'm starting second tomorrow, which clearly means I have a better chance of winning."

"I was first in fp1," Lando retaliated although they all knew that qualifying in a higher position meant more than topping a single practice session.

"You might have a good chance, but Max is on pole, let's not forget that," Charles reminded his fellow colleagues. Lando perked up at his words, "exactly, so all Carlos needs to do is somehow crash him out of the race so I can win."

Charles laughed at the outrageous plan, but Carlos scoffed, "I won't ruin my chances at a podium for a race you won't win." Noticing Lando's defeated expression, it caused Charles to laugh harder. "Not that I think either of you would win, but let's make a bet," the Monégasque suggested.

"Who do you think will win?" Carlos asked. Charles' dimple deepened as he smiled, "me of course."

This time Lando scoffed, "yeah, sure mate," then he looked at Carlos, "what do I get when I win the bet?"

"This," Carlos stated while holding up his middle finger towards him. Rolling his eyes, he decided, "fine, I'll ask for something when I win, and then you two won't be able to deny it."

"And what do we get if you don't win?" Carlos asked, looking at Charles who was waiting for an answer from Lando.

While Lando was focused on what he would ask for if he won the bet, he failed to consider that Carlos or Charles were more likely to win than him. He would have a one-in-three chance of winning the wager, but Lando hadn't realized the extent of the situation just yet.

"Not that it'll happen but what do you guys want?" He asked only as a formality to actually set the bet.

Carlos was quiet for a moment as he thought of something that would be worthwhile, looking at Charles to see if he had any ideas. Then he thought of it—of you. "Your girlfriend," he simply stated.

It took two seconds for Lando to start laughing, not that it was ever a challenge to do so, but he initially assumed that Carlos was joking. His laughter quickly died down once he didn't hear either driver laugh along with him.

Looking in the backseat at Charles briefly, who nodded in agreement, Lando snapped his head towards Carlos, "what do you mean my girlfriend?"

"It's simple. If Charles or I win, then you have to share your girlfriend for a night, if not, then you don't," he explained nonchalantly.

Lando looked at Charles, "and you agree with him?" He shrugged, then nodded, "she's hot, I wouldn't say no."

He slumped back in his seat, "I suppose you'll be disappointed when I win." While Lando was secure in his abilities, both drivers around him thought he was growing overconfident. "So you agree, that if you don't win, we can have her?"

Nodding it off and waving his hand around, Lando agreed, "yeah, you can."

You were stunned into silence once he finished explaining. Noticing your lack of words, Lando was unsure of your thoughts. "You don't think I'll win?"

You shrugged, "all I'm gonna say is that you have twenty-one other chances to win this season if you don't win this race." You didn't exactly answer his question, but he realized that you weren't opposed or disgusted by the idea either. Pulling you into his lap, he tilted your chin upwards with his fingers and leaned closer for a kiss.

He tightened his grasp on your chin to stop you before you could press your lips against his. "Oh I see, you don't want me to win just so you can be passed around like a slut between my friends?"

"You wouldn't have put me as the prize if you didn't like the idea," you retaliated, smirking as you moved his hand away to finally place your lips on his.

—

You stood among the crowd, cheering for Lando, who took his place on the third step of the podium. As the podium celebrations began, a part of you was also looking forward to the celebrations that would follow later tonight. Lando may have lost a bet, but it was the first bet you were glad he lost.

That is how you ended up in your hotel room with your lover, waiting in anticipation for the other two drivers to arrive. With his trophy set aside, you and Lando were occupied with each other; your eyes closed and head tilted back as he trailed kisses down your throat.

Then came a knock on the door, one that made your heart race in all the best ways. Lando stood up and opened the door, revealing Charles and Carlos standing on the other side, still dressed in their Ferrari polos from earlier that evening.

"What did he say? I suppose you'll be disappointed when I win," Charles greeted by mocking Lando's words from the day before. "Alright, alright I get it but I still placed third," he retaliated which earned a nod from Carlos. "Congrats, cabrón."

You could hear them laughing among themselves, but it quickly died down once Carlos and Charles spotted you. Lando had suggested that you should wear red, considering both of the drivers that placed first and second adored red.

There you sat on the mattress, leaning back on your forearms with an ankle crossed over the other, clad in only a tight short red dress which you were glad you ended up packing.

"Well, fuck me," Charles muttered under his breath earning a chuckle from you once you heard his comment. Standing up and slowly stepping towards them, you replied, "fuck me indeed."

Your gaze was fixated on Carlos, the race winner, whose eyes revealed a glimpse of all the dirty thoughts racing through his mind. "Congratulations, you both deserve a good celebration," you said, smiling as you felt Carlos' arm snaking around your waist and Charles' breath fanning your face.

"Is that what you're going to give us? A good celebration?" Charles asked, his lips grazing your cheek. "I'll give you anything you want."

You looked at your boyfriend for a second, making sure he was still comfortable with the situation before proceeding any further. But you just saw desire in his eyes and while the corner of his lip curled up in a lazy smirk, a nod from him allowed you to carry on. He may have nodded at you, but his eyes darted over your head to his fellow drivers, "Go on then, Carlos, Charles, claim your prize."

Your lips parted slightly, marvelling at the fact that Lando hadn't even addressed you, instead treating you like an object to be claimed. The worst part was realizing that you liked it since his remarks had made you clench your thighs together.

Carlos grinned at your obedient behaviour as he was easily able to tip your head back to face him. Now that they truly had the freedom to do anything they wanted to you, with your permission, neither felt bad for having sinful thoughts about you—their best friend's girlfriend—while Carlos and Charles were alone in their bedrooms.

Kissing you with a sense of urgency, Carlos stole your breath away in a matter of seconds. Your thoughts had quickly dissipated into thin air as you felt Charles trailing his fingers up your body while pressing up behind you.

You heard Lando shuffle around before leaving the three of you alone in the bedroom for a moment which only intensified your feelings. Sandwiched between the two men who are good friends of yours, were now looking at you as if you are merely an outlet for their sexual desires.

Sliding down the straps that held your dress up, Charles continued kissing every inch of your bare skin revealed to him. His hands rounded to your front, pulling down the flimsy piece of fabric to display your tits to the duo. Your nipples instantly pebbled as Charles' fingers brushed against them, making you tilt your head back and resting it against his shoulder.

Letting you regain your breath, Carlos moved down to your neck, replacing each kiss Lando had placed earlier with small nips and grazes of his teeth, just painful enough to still be pleasurable.

While both their mouths were occupied, the Spaniard's hands pushed down the rest of your dress to the floor, parting away for a moment to let you to step out of it and toss it to the side with your feet.

Lando returned to the room, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth to prevent a moan from leaving his mouth. You were now completely bare, with two fully clothed drivers—his friends—pressed against you while their hands roamed all over your body.

Discarding his shirt on the floor, he occupied your mouth with another kiss, muffling your moans. "Fuck, enjoying yourself, baby?" Lando muttered once you parted away for a moment. Nodding, you opened your mouth to respond but a sharp gasp left your mouth as you felt Charles' fingers teasing your clit while Carlos palmed your ass.

"Merde, she's so perfect," the Monégasque commented, spreading your pussy with two fingers while a third finger swiped through your folds to catch the wetness that gathered between. "Charles," you breathlessly whispered, a plead for more.

"So ready to be ruined," Carlos added, his own fingers prodding your ass, earning a string of curses along with pleas to keep going from you. Gathering your slick from your cunt, Carlos coated his fingers to ease just the tip of one finger into your ass.

Soon enough, you were laid down on the bed, and one by one the three men stripped their clothes away, adding to the ever growing pile that started from your dress. You could barely keep your eyes open due to the feeling of three pairs of hands roaming everywhere, not leaving any inch of your skin untouched.

You had already orgasmed twice, but you couldn't remember whose fingers brought you over the edge the first, or even the second time, as all of the sensations mushed together in what felt like one never ending wet dream.

Staying true to your words of giving them anything they desired, you moaned around Carlos' cock as Charles slid his dick in your pussy without any forewarning. Your grasp on his thighs tightened as Charles began to thrust, slowly at first but then showed no mercy once his grasp on your hips tightened.

Carlos pulled your mouth off his cock, but quickly replaced the emptiness you immediately felt with two of his fingers resting heavily on your tongue. His actions didn't allow you to close your jaw, causing you to drool down your chin, and only then he was satisfied.

"Such a good fucking girl," he commented, which only made your head spin further while you smiled at the compliment. "Oh she likes that," Charles added as he felt your pussy clench around him at Carlos' praise.

His fingers that were now coated with your saliva trailed down your body to where you and Charles were connected. He nodded mockingly at his teammate's comment, "yeah, you like being praised?"

Easily finding your swollen clit, he slightly pinched it before creating small circles, edging you closer. You nodded, "please, please, please." You were sobbing for relief, your voice strained from the constant cries that left your lips with each new wave of ecstasy.

Connecting their gaze, Charles and Carlos smirked as they silently agreed to let you cum once again. Charles's fingers slid closer to your back hole, this time able to slide two fingers down to the last knuckle. At the same time, Carlos' fingers left your clit only to join the thrusts of Charles' cock, scissoring two of his fingers in your pussy to stretch you out even further. Pleasure surged through your body, and you closed your eyes tightly at the sudden sensation of being so full.

Charles slowed down his thrusts, prolonging your post orgasmic sensation. You slumped forwards when he pulled out, still holding back his own release for now.

Despite still being eager, they were ever patient with you especially after bringing you over the edge multiple times now, knowing your limbs were close to tiring out.

Still on your hands and knees, you shuffled up to straddle Carlos, sinking down on down cock this time, mouth dropping open as he stretched you out slightly differently compared to Charles.

"C'mon, cariño, ride me," he instructed, resting his hands on your hips, urging your movements while also allowing you to depend on him for help. "You feel so good, Carlos," you panted.

You heard some shuffling around you again but you couldn't move your gaze away from watching your pussy engulf Carlos' cock over and over again.

However, you were startled once you felt a cool sensation prodding your ass; Charles' fingers coated in lube. "Need you to relax, baby," you could hear Lando's words and he was quick to come into your view, stroking his dick to the sight of you filled by his former teammate.

He grabbed your hand off of Carlos' shoulder, guiding it towards his cock. Already slick with his precum, you could easily move your hand up and down, watching his reaction with hooded eyes.

Charles' free hand wrapped around your throat from behind while he whispered in your ear, "we're gonna fill up all of your holes, darling."

Groaning, you nodded, "please," a word that you had repeatedly spoken to the point where it sounded like a broken record. "You want that?" One of them asked, but you couldn't focus on whose voice it was. "Fill me up, please," your words turning into a moan as Carlos shifted underneath you, reaching deeper inside.

Releasing the grasp on your throat, Charles focused on opening you up with his fingers, for you to be able to take his cock in your ass while Carlos continued pounding your pussy.

Lando replaced Charles' hand, grabbing the back of your neck, threading his fingers in your hair to bring you close for a filthy kiss. Tongues and teeth clashing, he slightly bit down on your bottom lip, sucking and pulling on it for a moment before letting go.

Without any words exchanged, your boyfriend guided your mouth towards his cock, filling up two out of three of your holes. It took you a moment before you actually started moving your head up and down, moaning and drooling on his cock because of Carlos' upward thrusts.

Charles removed his fingers, having deemed to have stretched you out enough then coating his dick with a good amount of lube. With one hand palming and spreading your ass, he used the other to guide his cock into you. Your eyes welled up with tears, not entirely painful but almost overwhelmed with being filled everywhere at once.

Your body was quickly calmed down by Lando, Charles, and Carlos as they moved their hands all over you in soothing motions. Charles began thrusting when you nodded because you were unable to speak while Lando's dick was in your mouth.

Your muffled groans sounded distant to you, mind foggy, but you had never felt so full and aware before.

With a warning, Lando filled your mouth with cum, which you swallowed greedily without hesitation. Now, with your mouth unoccupied, you couldn't hold back on your moans. "Gonna cum," you warned, knowing you won't last long, still sensitive from your previous orgasms.

Charles' fingers reached your chest, teasing and pinching your nipples while Carlos rested his palms on your cheeks, wiping away your tears with his thumb.

Your pace stuttered as you came around his cock, and Carlos took the reins and thrusted upwards, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. "Fuck, where do you want us?" Charles asked, tethering on the edge and based on Carlos' stuttering pace, you knew he was too.

Your next words pushed both over the edge, "inside." Slumping forwards, you felt both Ferrari drivers filling you up with their cum. "Fucking hell, that was hot," Lando commented, leaning closer to brush away the strands of hair stuck on your forehead due to sweat.

Charles and Carlos carefully eased you off their cocks, with Lando helping you lie down on the bed which you immediately melted into.

It was unbearable for you to be completely empty after being entirely filled. Mustering up all your strength, you held your arms out for your boyfriend, who immediately joined you on the bed, whispering praises in your ear.

Meanwhile, Carlos and Charles decided to clean you up by wiping the cum that had leaked out of your holes with a damp towel. They saw the bruises from their grasps on you in the heat of the moment and couldn't help but smile, knowing they were the cause of it.

You hoped, as you drifted off to sleep, that the three of them would share the podium more frequently, and therefore, share you as well.

Taglist based on the form (let me know if you would like to be removed) @lochnoch @llando4norris @monsieurbacteria6 @namgification @lilymurphy03 @sargeantdumbass @evlkking @jointhehunt67 @wonnou @nikfigueiredo

[sultrysparkles]

"I'D UNDERSTAND "

[•~college!au, aged!up kirshima x reader~•]fluff/slight angst/smut

[•~synopsis: you find out your boyfriend was just using you, don't worry ejiro will help you forget all about that~•]

[•~a/n: inspired by a situation my friend was js in, send requests!!~•]

you couldn't believe it. after all that time? all those memories you two had together. it was all for nothing.

you and your (ex) boyfriend had been dating for a couple weeks. even though it was merely a couple weeks, you were convinced that he was the love of your life. you knew that he was the one. or at least you thought so-

gradually things got distant, he stopped making an effort overall, while you put in everything you had. you were confused and frustrated. you didn't do anything to him? so what was going on?...

then earlier this afternoon, you were catching up on some nearly-late homework assignments. as you scribbled your way through some equations a light buzz vibrated against your thigh.

curiously, you took out your phone and glanced over at the notification. you had got a message from your boyfriend.

you open his chats eagerly, for once he started a conversation with you. but your moment of glee soon came to an abrupt end as you read the first couple words.

"y/n. we need to break up"

you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. your stomach dropped making the guilty and panicky feeling overtake your senses even more.

you continue reading the paragraph, each word making that sick feeling grow in you. you couldn't believe that this was happening. it had to be a nightmare.

"tbh i was desperate for a prom date cs all my friends going had one and i didn't wanna be left out and at that point they were making fun of me so yea i shoulda js told the truth from the start instead of lying"

emotions flooded your mind. betrayal. disappointment. anger. were just to name a few. you were at a loss for words. you thought he actually loved you. he treated you better than any other guy you were previously with. and you get played?

you drop your phone, tears flooding your eyes as you fall onto your bed, head buried in the pillow below you. the only thing you felt like doing now was to cry your eyes out dry. sob until you got better if that was possible anymore. you felt stupid.

teardrops dampened the pillowcase below you face as you say there in sorrow. but your moment of mourning was soon interrupted by a series of knocks. a familiar voice following.

"y/n? you left your textbooks in the library-"

you quickly fix yourself up, taking in a couple deep breaths and wiping the tears off your cheeks. you swiftly get up from your bed, praying that the faint pink tint plastered all over your face wasn't too obvious.

your hand curls over the doorknob and you open the door slowly. being greeted with a familiar red haired boy. eijiro kirishima, your best friend. one of his arms holding up a stack of books, while the other was shoved in his jacket pocket.

"h-hey eijiro... thanks for bringing me these" you whispered, hiding your shaky rattled voice. eijiro looked down at you with a small frown. "you okay, y/n?" he asks, handing you the books, worry and concern evident in his tone.

those three words were all it took to make you crack. you erupted back into that familiar sorrow, eyes overfilling with water.

you then feel strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into a warm and comforting embrace. without any thought you cry into his chest, a spot in his hoodie getting soaked.

a hand strokes your back softly as his soothing voice whispers in your ear "let it out, it's all gonna be okay y/n, I promise..." you hug him back even tighter, too lost in your emotions.

a couple moments pass before eijiro pulls away for a quick moment, arms still wrapped around you.

"you wanna tell me what's wrong?..."

you explain to kirishima everything that had just happened. he knew about this boyfriend you had and wasn't too trusting of him to begin with. he has a gut feeling something was off but he didn't want to burst your bubble so he kept quiet.

at least that's what he told himself. in actuality he couldn't tell if he was just jealous of him or if he actually had a guy feeling. something eijiro had never told you was that he had the biggest crush on you ever since you two had met. and every time you mentioned or introduced him to a new guy the only thing he could think of was how much better he was.

this moment was no different either. you told him in the past about how your boyfriend was treating you. from all the dry and lackluster conversations to the lack of attention. he heard it all. and he tried his best to comfort you, to try to look out for the both of you. when in reality he wanted you all for himself. he wanted to tell you how much of a better boyfriend he could be.

his blood boiled and his heart was full of fury. "that is so messed up." he grumbled arm wrapped around one of your shoulders as he held you in close, inhaling tye sweet scent of your shampoo.

"I know... im so tired of this ejiro. am I really that unlovable?.." you ask, glancing back up at the red haired male, eyelashes decorated with tiny teardrops. kirishima feels his cheeks reddened and blush as he thinks carefully about his reply. he could ruin your friendship if this doesn't go his way. but if it does workout, his dreams will come true. a moment passes before he replies.

"y/n, honestly I can't even hide this anymore from you. I love you. I mean it I swear. it drives me mad seeing you let these guys take advantage of you like this, you're too pretty and perfect to be treated like this. please- let me show you how good I could treat you-"

and that's how it all started. you were laid down on your back, thighs pushed all the way to your chest as kirishima towered over you.

"relax for me mamas... ima make you feel so good..." he cooes into your ear, hand caressing your cheek. you listen to him and let go of all the tension you were holding in, a breathy exhale leaving your lips.

kirishima teases his tip in between your fold and clit, making the both of you let out a small moan. soon enough he gently pushes himself in, groaning at the way your wet walls clam down on his length. you grip the bedsheets next to you as the feeling of the pleasureable yet painful stretch engulfs your senses.

"you okay princess? can I start?..." he asks, checking in for any signs of discomfort on your face. it took everything in him to not start moving and pound the life out of you, he had fantasized about this moment since forever and it was finally in his hands.

you nod, and kirishima starts moving at a slow pace, making sure you were okay, after all the last thing he would ever want to do, is to hurt you. but soon enough he picks up the pace gradually, making you cry out for more. "your takin it so well for me mamas..." he praises, his hips bucking into your cunt even quicker.

"f-fuck she was made for me hm? bet that lameass boyfriend couldn't get ya like this" he mumbles, pointing your chin down to make sure you maintain eye contact with him.

he begins to get rougher, hands quickly shifting your legs from pressed against your torso to now your calves on his shoulders. the new position made him ram into that spongy spot, making your moans even louder.

it all felt so good, from the way his cock was now even deeper in you, the way his thrust became harsh and passionate you could only shut your eyes from the ecstasy.

"don't close your eyes on me mama, keep them open or I'll stop." he commands, drilling into your hole even faster now, the sound of skin slapping follow suit. you open your eyes, listening to his warning. he smirks and whispers down into your ear "good girl... you're so obedient for me mamas" he grins.

he pounds into you harshly, faint mumbles of " so-so sorry mamas... can't hold back anymore" as he drills into you, his grip on your hips was sure to leave a purplish bruise the next morning.

you feel the familiar know in your stomach tighten. "m'so close eijiro please!-" you mewl. "cmon baby... tell me who fucks you better? me or him?" he teases. "y-you do..." you mutter out, somewhat inaudible. he lightly slaps your cheek "the fuck was that?. tell me who the fuck you belong to-" he grunts out. "y-you, I only belong to you eijiro-" you cry out

"good girl, listenin to me so well..." eijiro grins and places a hand on your bud, digits rubbing quick circles all over it. bringing you over the edge.

your back arches and your thighs tremble. you let a loud moan as you feel the pleasure overwhelm you. the sight alone was enough to make kirishima reach his own high. he pulls out and begins to stroke his cock, letting out pretty groans as his lips part slightly.

long ropes of cum decorate your stomach as you both pant out heavily. you close your eyes, as you catch your breath. while you do so kirishima notices your phone on the other side of the bed, open.

he grabs it quickly without you noticing and snaps a quick photo. hurriedly tapping on your exes icon and sending him the photo.

"kinda sad that you let such a pretty girl like her go. it's okay i'd understand, you didn't deserve her anyways"

[323cutie]

in this moment i dream with you. | cs

pairing ୨୧ san x afab reader

word count ୨୧ 900

genre ୨୧ smut asf !! and really quite fluffy, established relationship and implied new relationship

warnings ୨୧ hrmm sexual content, swearing <3 smut warnings below the cut!!

author's note ୨୧ ive only actually written smut a handful of times and I always think it'll be decent and then i start writing and get scared But idk san is hot and sweet!!!!! goodnight

18+ mdni!!!

smut warnings ୨୧ kind of praise, dirty talk (ish), unprotected sex, pet names (baby, sweetheart), i dont actually get into it like at all but san is a switch imo, he also Talks U Thru It, cumshot (kind of) (is that even the right word), lovely aftercare, no gendered terms but again reader is afab!!

“Been waiting so long,” San murmurs once he’s finally pushing himself inside you. “Been wanting you so bad.”

Your head is fuzzy already, his words tender in your ear. He feels so good, his touch so soft, better than you could have ever imagined. You gasp out a breath and don’t miss the proud smile on his face when you whimper out, “me too.”

There’s quiet aside from the distant crickets and yours and San’s panting while you both adjust to feeling each other. He kisses you once, twice, until you move your hips and he whines, breaking away from your lips to press his forehead into your shoulder. You wrap your arms around him and roll your hips again, desperate for the friction, eager to taste it for the first time. San sighs against your neck but listens to the words you don’t have to say out loud, pulling his hips back before thrusting his cock back into you again. The air is punched out of your lungs and you moan.

You feel so worked up despite it all barely starting – maybe that’s just the effect San has on you. You want more, want him closer, even when he’s already as close as he can be. Happy to give and take, ready for whatever he asks of you. It feels like a heavy, sudden rain after a painful drought. He finds a pace that suits the both of you, rolling his hips into you and making you writhe, pressing your one of legs up and out and wrapping the other around his waist, ever tender.

“You wanted me too, hm?” He asks suddenly, and you’d tease him for being so out of breath if you weren’t struggling to think at all. You settle on nodding but he coos, giving you a few harsh thrusts as if to say use your words.

So you do, breathing out, “yes, yes. Since – ah – our first date. D-Dreamed about you, shit.”

San hums but it sounds like a whimper and you almost feel like screaming. His cock fits in you so well, hitting all the right spots like he was meant to be here. He must feel it too, if his little gasps and groans are anything to go by. “Dreamed?” He asks, pulling himself off of you to look you in the eyes.

It makes you shy, but you feel too good to do more than flush hot at his stare. “Yes,” you answer, completely honest, moaning when his fingers find your clit. “Waited so long – want more, Sannie, more –”

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” San reassures, his hips moving harder against you. “I’ll give you what you want, I promise.”

You trust him. He moves like he’s known your body for years, and in the haze of the waves of your pleasure, you wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to figure you out so quick. He’s good at everything, anyways; sensual and intuitive, fucking you hard with the most gentle presses of his hands and mouth on your skin. You feel like you’re seeing a brand new world, draped in a new light, erasing everything you knew before. It’s overwhelming. You can’t get enough.

“So fucking wet,” he mumbles, more to himself than you. “Just can’t help yourself, huh, baby?”

His fingers move faster against your clit and you shake your head no, vigorous, too caught up in the feeling of him. Every part of him melts into you like a steady stream, an endless fountain. Too good, deeper, faster –

“Gonna –” you gasp, clawing at San’s arms, his shoulders. “Gonna cum. Sannie, gonna –”

He nods, eager, eyes full of something equal parts fond and lustful. “Can feel it, sweetheart, squeezing me so tight,” he murmurs back at you. You think you can hear the squelch of your pussy as he keeps thrusting into you, keeping his steady, harsh pace and the flick of his fingers. “Come for me, let me feel it, please cum on my cock.”

You’d never say no, especially not when he’s begging so pretty. It feels like tsunamis, untouchable floods, a completely blue scene behind your closed eyelids. You think you’re moaning, going slack in San’s hold and feeling him hold you tighter. He matches your noises, riding it out with you, telling you how perfect you feel, how pretty you look, how long he’s been wanting to make you feel good.

He only thrusts a few more times, uneven and quick, before he’s pulling out and cumming on your stomach, painting you pretty. The world is quiet again, peaceful and righted, as San leans down to kiss you pliant. He does an exceptional job and you follow with no hesitation.

“Hey,” he whispers when you finally part.

“Hey yourself,” you say back. His pretty dimples show in his smile. You mirror it.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He carries you to the bathroom, sweet and soft the whole time he wipes you down. You apologize for the scratches on his shoulderblades and he just laughs, but you see his ears redden when he sees them in the mirror. He carries you back to bed, too, downright refusing when you tell him you’re sure you can walk.

His eyes shine in the moonlight peeking through your window until you fall asleep, nestled in his hold.

[sweetshuga]

Roommates ✧ CS

───~𓆩♡𓆪~───

roomie!chris! Curiosity got the best of you one afternoon, and you went into his room while he was out.

You were trying to work on your laptop – the assignment you had been putting aside until the due date, which was today – all while Chris paced back and forth the dorm, getting ready to go out. "Have you seen my camo pants?" You looked up from your laptop and sighed, "kid, you ask me every day where your things are, I don’t know, I’m not your mom nor do I clean your room," you started to type in the assignment again, the sound of keyboards clicking filling the room.

"Never mind found it!" Chris called out from his bedroom, "Good for you!" You shouted back, sarcastically, "c’mon, what’s got your panties in a twist? Assignments? Typical of you." Chris chuckled to himself, haphazardly putting on his cap backwards and wore his shoes, ready to go out. You, on the other hand, wasn’t amused by his words, sighing as you slumped back against the couch, muttering a halfhearted bye to him.

The faint sound of the outside world seeping in through the open window is the only thing you could hear as you sat in silence. You absentmindedly looked around for a while before standing up on your feet, to get something to drink from the fridge. As you walked to the kitchen, you noticed something– Chris’ room door was slightly ajar. After a few minutes of fighting with yourself internally—you decided to take a little peek. His room was surprisingly tidy, and your eyes zeroed in on the camo tee crumpled on one end of the bed.

𓆩♡𓆪

You closed his bedroom door and walked towards your room, a camo t-shirt clutched in your hands. Rule number 3: Do not touch each other's belongings.

𓆩♡𓆪

rule. 1 2 4 5 6 7 Origin

wc. 283

note. English is not my first language—if you didn't catch on with my poor vocabulary and writing skills.

Isa's notes. Yeah... don't do that in real life.

© sweetshuga

[jnkgrnde]

— dating hc’s, clarisse la rue, pjo

summary — dating hc’s w pookie

pairings — clarisse la rue x black!fem!reader (daughter of apollo)

authors note — some of this is inspired by a clarisse fanfic i read the other day w a child of apollo reader ☝🏾

⭑ alr first things first y’all r the definition of black cat gf + golden retriever gf WALK W ME!

⭑ like when u first got to camp clarisse was v.. she thought u were different but in a good way.

⭑ she expected u to act like how an apollo kid would except u were like 5x sunshinier and smilier.

⭑ when u decided to hang out w her more often after u arrived people were starting to question things

⭑ like how clarisse wasn’t throwing you in the lake

⭑ the only reason she hadn’t done that yet was because she was starting to like having you around, even if she didn’t act like it

⭑ you’d talk to her about your day, spar w her, etc etc

⭑ that was up until the night you realized you liked her more than friends

⭑ you were pacing around your cabin, biting your nails anxiously; when you got to camp, you decided to read about your father, and that included all of his tragedies family wise and love wise.

⭑ you didn’t want to continue that tradition, so you came down to the decision of avoiding clarisse entirely.

⭑ it started becoming noticeable after about two or three days.

⭑ clarisse was more irritable, and people noticed you weren’t around her as much. a lot of the time you’d write in your journal about it.

⭑ whenever you were at the archery range, you’d up and leave as soon as you saw clarisse.

⭑ she wasn’t happy about this

⭑ this had been going on for what felt like forever; clarisse trying to subtly look for you, and whenever she found you you always managed to leave as soon as she was approaching.

⭑ she would’ve never admitted this to anybody, but she missed you. how you would talk non stop about your day and always ask how hers was going. she missed the way you would get shy whenever she called you sunshine because of your descent.

⭑ she ended up having enough when she called out for you at the archery range and you blatantly ignored her, which is how you two got where you are right now

“y/n!”

you cursed to yourself as you started walking the opposite direction, not even bothering to put your bow down.

she didn’t let you go this time, running up to you to turn you around. you had a slight look of anger and fear on your face, and it hurt clarisse to see you look at her like everyone else does.

“why are you avoiding me?” you avoided her eyes. you weren’t really prepared for what would’ve happened when or if she decided to approach you. “is there something you wanted to tell me? any explanation? at all?” she persisted. “i just- it’s hard to talk about, clarisse.” clarisse frowned. you almost never used her full name. “it’s just me, sunshine. just you and me.”

you breathed deep to calm your aching heart. “i like you.”

clarisse stood dumbfounded. “what?” “i have a crush on you, and i was scared to tell you because of my dad and his history with love. i didn’t want to possibly get you killed all because i loved you.” clarisse looked at you for a moment then put her lips with yours.

her hand found your waist as you gripped her forearm. why and since when was she a good kisser? it was getting heated so you pulled away. “why did you do that?” you asked her breathlessly. “we have more of a chance of dying solely because we’re demigods. if i have to die early, i’d rather die knowing me and you were together through everything.” you nodded. “okay.” you whispered out.

“okay?” she repeated. she looked at you with so much love held in her eyes. “okay.” you started grinning.

⭑ let me wrap this up before it gets too long lmao

⭑ to reiterate what i said earlier, yall are the definition of black cat gf + golden retriever gf

⭑ whether its in capture the flag or just strolling around the campgrounds, clarisse is very protective of you

⭑ i’d like to believe she would steal some of ur lotion n stuff cs u got GOOD stuff don’t ask me how i know

⭑ you’d also help eachother out w ur hair like braiding them for games etc etc

⭑ she loved ur voice btw. like u had a naturally pretty voice bc of ur dad, so she’d love to hear u talk. bonus points if ur one of those ppl who sing peoples names instead of js saying them normally

⭑ it took her a minute to get used to it, but atp she does not care about pda; she’s showing u off whether u like it or not

⭑ okay thats it clarisse is my girlfriend #confirmed

[rumisgf]

KIRSHIMA BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS

summary: kiri boyfriend hcs because he needs more love. also this has been in my drafts for too long but i finished it y’all, round of applause!

includes: fluff, female pronouns, black!reader cs duh, crack

✧ and the best boyfriend award goes to

✧ before y’all even started dating he was always so sweet to you, opening doors for you whether it was at the food place or a car

✧ he has absolutely no shame making sure whenever he’s around, you never have to lift a finger

✧ he helps you up the stairs, buys you food whenever you’re hungry, even ties your shoes for you

✧ i mean he’s your boyfriend, it’s manly!!

✧ speaking of, one of the most attractive things about him is how good he is with kids

✧ if you have nieces/nephews or baby sibling/cousins they definitely adore him and it’s so sweet

✧ and when you get far enough into your relationship, he’s eager to express that he does wanna have kids one day

✧ if you let him pull out his list of baby names he will be so happy

✧ i think eijirou is one of the men very comfortable in his masculinity compared to all the other men he’s around

✧ not to say they aren’t, but he definitely has no issue doing things deemed as “feminine” in the slightest

✧ besides, manliness to him is about not always having to prove you’re manly. you’re simply just manly.

✧ kiri will let you do his makeup all the time and he’ll post pictures on his story after

✧ and he’ll love if you do things deemed as “masculine” with no shame

✧ no matter how it sounds out loud, he’ll be like “my gf is so manly i love her”

✧ yes, you wanted to pop him the first time you heard him saying but it’s truly just how he talks he can’t help it😭😭

✧ (one time he called mina manly as a compliment and she smacked him dead in his face, though, so he doesn’t say it often)

“wow babe, you’re so manly!”

“thank you eij— wait.”

✧ even though he’s willing to do it in a heartbeat for you, kirishima has a hard time letting you buy him things

✧ it’s one traditional standard he can’t seem to shake and even then he just feels bad for some reason

✧ but weirdly, he still likes when you ask even if he’s just gonna say no😭

✧ it makes him feel bubbly that you still wanna spoil him too and maybe he’ll let you a few times

✧ one thing kirishima loves is helping you do your hair

✧ he already dyes his hair himself so i feel like he’ll be very knowledgeable about hair care

✧ and he’d do his own research for you

✧ mans learned how to part hair, he oils your scalp for you, even washes your hair for you, and he learned how to braid

✧ in return he loves when you help him dye his hair whenever his roots grow in too dark

✧ this man can barely go to sleep without cuddling you it’s starting to concern his friends a lil

✧ it’s the one thing he looks forward to at night and he always hold you so tight

✧ which is completely fine because i feel like he’d also have warm skin

✧ he’s definitely the type of boyfriend to refer to you as his lady

✧ he definitely has clips floating the internet of him calling you that during interviews at hero galas

“oh, tonight i’m here with my lady!

“i’m sure she’s somewhere, she’s still a little camera shy.”

✧ if you’re the quiet type, he absolutely has no problem speaking up for you or just talking when you’re too nervous

✧ kirishima loves picking you up, you could be with friends and he’ll randomly just hoist you up into his arms

✧ when he works out, he begs you to do things like spot him or sit on his back while he does push ups

✧ or lay under him while he does them so he can give you kisses

✧ although one habit he does have is hugging up all on you while he’s still sweaty after he comes back from the gym

✧ i think he’d love a partner who does sports, so if the school has any college teams he’ll try to convince you to join even if you never did sports in high school

✧ he also thinks it would be fun for you and he always wants you to have fun

✧ in general, he loves being able to make you smile

✧ if you’re ever having a bad day, he’s the best at giving advice or just comforting you

✧ and not to mention, gives top tier hugs

✧ when you start crying about anything he literally drops everything and runs to you

✧ to the point where even your friends will text him whenever you do and he’ll be there in an instant

✧ eijirou absolutely loves giving you flowers

✧ he’ll seriously find any excuse to show up wherever you are with a bouquet in hand ready to give to you

✧ valentine’s days? flowers

✧ birthday? flowers.

✧ passed an exam? flowers.

✧ having a bad day? flowers.

✧ having a good day? flowers.

✧ just because he felt like it? flowers

“awww this is so sweet baby, but what’s the occasion?”

“don’t worry about it sweetheart, just pose with ‘em so i can take pictures of your pretty self.”

✧ in conclusion, he’s the man of your dreams

@ rumisgf

[wholoveseggs]

Hi! I really love your work i was wondering if you could do a fic with Elijah and fem reader when he was still human, i really liked the one you did with viking Elijah, could you do it similar but when him and reader first meet and they start to date and they are both virgins and they have sex for the first time. Thank youuu!

Solstice

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

{Viking!Elijah Mikaelson x Reader} In a small Viking village, love blooms as Elijah steals your heart. But a winter storm prevents your future plans, forcing secrets to surface and your bond to grow stronger than ever.

♡♡ Thank you sweet anon(s) youu know I adore viking elijah!!! Here is a long fluffly, HAPPY story of sweet angel eli falling in love for the first time ♡♡

9k words - Warnings: smutttt, viking theme, a sprinkle of Niklaus, lots of flirting, both reader & Elijah are virgins, nervous and shy Elijah, sooo so sappy and sweet, lots of kisses and longing, amazing parents that we all wish we had (or do have? idku), classic patriarchy viking stuff, outdoor sex, pregnancy, mushrooms && an unfortunate hare ...

@gorgeouslydangerous @starkleila @lydia1369sworld @notleylaaa @vampiresluv

@myanmy @xflowerbombxo @maryvibess @always-and-forever-daydreaming

@spnaquakindgdom @amournoir @meeom @damienmorton @wickedmuse

@cs-please @complicatedandconfusing-25 @youcanhavemybuckanyday @akala6670229 @yeaiamme2

@itsjulzandmydiamonds @witch-of-letters @elijahstwink @rosecentury

@amanda08319 @starshipcookie @li-da-savage @veggie-eggrolls @spideybv28

@sunkissedebony97 @idk00sblog @savannaounana @sekaishell @b1tchy

@loving-and-dreaming @fancycassie-stayfancy @hcqwxrtss123 @iamawkwardandshy @ziayamikaelson

@absolutemarveltrash @darkened-writer @nina6708 @evasmlp

@madeinmyownmind-blog @lovelyy-moonlight @blacknightrises @poppet05 @sweetieseven

@xoxo-shy @nova-j @decaffeinatedparadisepost @fandom-princess-forevermore @theotherworld97

@origshipfan @cocoabliss

As soon as the leaves began to turn, the village became a flurry of activity. The summer months had been kind to the village, and the harvest was bountiful. But there was still much work to be done to prepare for the winter. You did what you could to help your family, as well as the rest of the village.

Today you set out to pick some herbs. It was a chore that you didn't mind, especially on such a beautiful day. Your mother had given you a basket, and you walked through the forest collecting anything that could be used in the healing remedies.

Kneeling down to pick a handful of ripe berries, you stilled at a sudden sound—leaves rustling, a faint snap of twigs. Your hand instinctively reached for your knife, but you forced yourself to remain calm, reminding yourself that large animals were rarely seen near the village, especially during daylight.

To your relief, a hare darted through the brush, nose twitching, large eyes staring back at you as if sizing you up. Smiling, you crouched and reached for a few berries in your basket.

"Hello there," you murmured, extending the food toward the creature, watching its tiny nose sniff the air.

Just as it leaned closer, you heard a soft rustle. An instant later, an arrow shot past, embedding itself in the hare’s side. The animal let out a soft, pitiful sound and tried to flee, but it only managed a few feet before collapsing, blood seeping into the forest floor.

“Oh no…” you whispered, standing abruptly, eyes scanning for the source of the arrow.

Through the trees, a young man emerged, his expression frustrated as he approached the hare, crouching beside it. His blond curls fell over his shoulders, and his blue eyes shone with both impatience and frustration. He muttered a curse under his breath and ended the creature’s suffering with quick precision.

"You must learn patience, Niklaus," another voice said, and a second figure stepped out of the shadows.

Your gaze shifted to this newcomer. His dark hair was tied back loosely, his face more serious, yet his brown eyes held a warmth that softened his features.

"Patience?" Niklaus scoffed, wiping his blade on the grass. "Brother, can you see it was a perfect shot … until the wind changed at the last second."

The dark-haired one chuckled. "Much like how that doe 'vanished into thin air,' or how the 'boar outran you.’" He turned, catching sight of you. For a moment, the easy humor faded from his expression, replaced by curiosity.

"My apologies, we didn't see you there." He gave you a polite bow of his head.

Niklaus stood, his eyes narrowed as he regarded you. "A woman, alone? There are wolves about, you know," he said with a grin.

You felt your cheeks warm at his comment, your eyes darting to the blood on his hands, and the dead hare in his grip.

You lifted your skirts and pulled a long blade from its sheath around your calf. "Not alone," you said, returning his grin.

Niklaus' eyes widened, and his brother let out a soft laugh.

"And now the wolves shall be the ones afraid," the dark-haired one said. "I am Elijah, and this is my brother Niklaus."

"Do you hail from one of the villages downstream?" You asked.

"We do, but our home is much further, on the coast," Elijah explained.

You nodded, then returned the blade to its sheath, and straightened. "What is your business so far from home?"

Elijah gave Klaus a pointed look, before turning back to you. "We are looking to trade, our home lacks some of the necessary supplies to prepare for winter."

"Well, this is a poor season for hunting," you said, pointing to the hare in Klaus' grip.

"Indeed," Elijah agreed, casting a glance at his brother. "Perhaps, if we are lucky, we will come across another."

You looked down at your basket, a thoughtful expression on your face. "My village is just over the hill," you pointed. "The elders may be willing to trade. If you have anything of value."

Elijah glanced at his brother. "Thank you, that would be most kind."

You gave him a small smile, and started down the path. Elijah fell into step beside you, and Niklaus trailed behind, scouting out other possible game.

"Have you lived in the village long?" He asked, glancing over at you.

"My whole life," you told him. "Though, my family came from the north when I was very young."

He nodded, taking in your features. "And are you married?"

"No," you said, a faint blush coming to your cheeks. "How about you?"

"Not yet, no," he told you, giving you a warm smile.

The path led up a steep slope, and after a few minutes, the three of you crested the hill. You could hear the sound of laughter, and children's voices. In the distance, the village spread out across the valley below, smoke curling into the sky from a dozen homes.

"You have a beautiful home," Elijah said, admiring the view.

"Thank you," you said, leading them down the path toward the village.

It wasn't long before someone spotted you, and several children came bounding up to you, asking a million questions.

"I'm sorry, but I must return to my home… but the longhouse is that way," you pointed to a larger building near the center of the village.

"We will find you again soon," Elijah told you, giving you a kind smile.

"I would like that," you admitted, feeling a spark of excitement.

Elijah bowed his head, and his brother waved, before the two of them continued on.

You watched them for a moment, letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Though they were gone, a strange sense of lingering excitement remained, mixed with caution. Elijah had stirred something inside you, an interest that you weren't sure how to feel about.

With a shake of your head, you pushed those thoughts aside and continued on. Secretly hoping to see him again.

The longhouse was warm, and filled with the smell of food and the soft hum of conversation. Many people were gathered around, preparing dinner. Some greeted you, and a few even asked for some herbs for their meals.

You could see Niklaus and Elijah sitting with your father and other men. They had obviously introduced themselves, and your father seemed intrigued by them. The brothers sharing the unfortunate hare between them.

You placed the basket of herbs on the table before taking a seat near your mother. She gave you a small smile, her attention focused on her weaving. You listened to the conversations around you, trying not to be obvious as you watched the two newcomers.

"The dark haired one asked about you," your mother said quietly, her gaze never leaving her task. "He thinks you are quite pretty."

Your cheeks warmed, and you glanced over at the table, seeing Niklaus whispering to your father. Your eyes met Elijah's, and his cheeks reddened, quickly looking away from you.

She glanced over at you, her face unreadable. "I think you should invite him for a walk."

You stared at her, wide-eyed. She had never been so willing to let you be alone with a man. "Really?"

"Yes, you are about to meet your eighteenth winter, it is time you start looking for a husband."

Your stomach flipped, and your palms grew sweaty.

"Besides, all the boys from our village are not fit for you."

"I don't know if I'm ready," you muttered, thinking about being alone with a man.

"If it were left to your father, you would never be ready," she shook her head. "You are a beautiful, smart girl. Any man would be lucky to have you as their wife."

Your gaze moved back to Elijah. His handsome features glowing in the firelight. “Do you really think so?"

"Go invite him for a walk," she repeated, nudging you.

"Right now?" You asked, nervously glancing around.

"Before the sun sets would be the wise choice," she replied, returning her attention to her weaving.

You glanced over at the table, Niklaus had disappeared, leaving Elijah alone. Your father was deep in conversation with the other men, and the women were busy gossiping.

"Go," your mother nodded toward Elijah. "Don't worry about your father."

You swallowed, nodding slowly. You were nervous, but eager. You didn't want to let this chance pass.

You stood and walked over to the table, standing awkwardly beside Elijah. He looked up at you, surprised. "Hello, again," he said, his voice deep and smooth.

You could see your father glancing over at you, and you quickly sat down next to Elijah, avoiding his gaze.

"Are you enjoying your time in the village?" You asked.

Elijah gave a nod, and offered a warm smile. "Very much so. Your people are quite welcoming."

"That's good, I'm glad," you said, fiddling with the hem of your sleeve.

He leaned in a bit closer, his brow furrowed. "Are you well?"

You met his gaze, and nodded. "I am, but, I was wondering if maybe you would like to take a walk with me? If you're not busy that is," you added.

He hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting over to your father. "I fear that would not be wise."

"He'll get over it," you whispered, giving him a small smile.

He considered it for a moment, then returned the smile. "A short walk then."

You stood, and waited for him to join you. As the two of you started for the door, you caught your father's eye, his gaze stern. You ignored him and left the longhouse.

Outside, the air was crisp, the fading sun casting an orange glow across the landscape. A light breeze rustled the trees, and birds chirped.

"You have a lovely village," Elijah said, breaking the silence. "Your people are very kind."

"We've been fortunate," you told him, glancing over at him.

"What are the winters like here?"

"Cold," you laughed. "The snow falls early and stays for many months."

"Our winters are the same," he said, watching as some children ran past.

You fell into silence once more, and after a few moments, your hand brushed his. An unexpected wave of desire rushed through you, and you quickly pulled your hand away, cheeks warming.

He let out an awkward little cough, his cheeks a light shade of pink. He looked so handsome in the soft evening light, the orange and purple hues making his dark eyes sparkle.

You led him to a trail that would take you to a field near a pond. It was a beautiful spot, and quiet, a place that you went to clear your head.

"Is there any particular reason you invited me for a walk?" He asked, looking over at you.

You blushed, looking down at your hands. "My mother seems to think I should find a husband," you explained.

He cleared his throat, and didn't say anything. But his hands were nervously twitching, and you could see his face redden further.

"I'm not suggesting anything," you quickly assured him.

"Of course," he replied, giving a stiff nod.

You stepped off the path, into a clearing, where a large weeping willow grew. You stopped near the tree, and turned to him.

He stepped a bit closer, and held out his hand. You placed your hand in his, and a wave of warmth rushed through you. His fingers closed around yours, and he gently tugged you closer.

Your heart pounded in your chest, and you looked up into his dark eyes, noticing the way his breathing quickened. He cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing along your jaw, sending a shiver down your spine.

"This is not the sort of walk that your mother had in mind, I am sure." He whispered, his face mere inches from yours.

"Perhaps not," you breathed.

You leaned closer, and he pressed his forehead to yours. Your eyes closed, and you let out a soft breath. The scent of leather, and earth, and pine washed over you, and your fingers tightened around his.

He closed the gap between you, pressing his lips to yours in a tender kiss. His lips were soft and warm, and he tasted sweet, like the honeyed mead the village was fond of. Neither of you knew what you were doing, your lips uncoordinated and clumsy. But his touch was gentle, his hands trembling slightly as they found your waist.

Your hands moved up his arms, coming to rest on his chest. You could feel his heart pounding against your palms. The kiss ended all too soon, and you stared up at him, slightly breathless.

His cheeks were flushed, and his pupils blown wide. His mouth opened and closed a few times, then a shy smile broke across his lips.

"We should be getting back," he whispered.

You nodded, not trusting your voice.

He took your hand in his, and guided you back to the path. The walk was mostly silent, both of you still processing what had just happened. But the silence was not uncomfortable, the air between you had changed.

"May I visit you again?" He asked, his voice low and hesitant.

You smiled, and squeezed his hand. "Yes, I would like that."

"Would tomorrow afternoon suit you?"

You nodded, barely able to maintain eye contact, his handsome face giving you butterflies.

"Until tomorrow then," he lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles.

You blushed, and turned to continue on. But his hand tightened around yours, and he pulled you back into his arms, kissing you once more. This kiss was not as gentle as the first. This time it was deep, and passionate, and his hands moved up your back, holding you close.

When the kiss ended, both of you were breathless, and your face was hot. He smiled, and you laughed softly, feeling lightheaded and dizzy.

"Don't tell your father I did that," he whispered, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

You giggled and pressed another kiss to his lips. "I won't."

With a reluctant sigh, he released you, and stepped back. You gave him a little wave, and headed back to your home, the warmth of his touch lingering.

It was late when you reached the house, your father was still out, and your mother was asleep. You climbed the ladder to the loft, and lay down, staring up at the ceiling, a silly grin on your face.

Your mother shifted, turning to face you, her eyes still closed. "What happened?" She whispered.

"Nothing, we just talked," you lied.

"Hmm," she murmured, turning onto her side, facing away from you. "He's quite handsome," she added, her voice barely audible.

"I think so," you agreed, closing your eyes.

It was a long time before you could sleep, your thoughts racing, remembering his scent, and the warmth of his hands. You were nervous, and excited. And for the first time in your life, you found yourself looking forward to the winter months.

The next few weeks passed quickly. Elijah came to visit as often as possible. Each day the two of you would steal a few moments together, sometimes walking, sometimes sitting in the forest and talking. But you always managed to find a moment to share a kiss, his touch leaving you breathless and yearning for more.

Elijah and Niklaus were invited to stay for the winter, the two of them joining the daily hunting parties, helping with the preparations for the coming season. In exchange, two men from your village would return to their home and spend the winter there. It was a beneficial agreement for all involved, and the brothers were welcome in the village.

Today, you and Elijah were gathering mushrooms in the forest. Your basket was full, and you sat on a rock, watching him search. He was crouched near the base of a tree, and looked over his shoulder at you, a playful glint in his eye.

"I'm afraid I'm not as fast at finding these as you," he teased.

"I know these forests better than anyone," you replied, standing and walking over to him.

"Do you now?"

You nodded, smiling as you knelt down beside him. You could smell the faint hint of wood smoke and herbs on him, and the scent made your stomach flip.

"And what other talents do you have?" He asked, his tone light, teasing. "Can you also predict the weather? Or tell the future?"

You gave him a playful shove, and he made a dramatic show of toppling over. He pulled you down on top of him, and the two of you rolled across the forest floor. Leaves and sticks tangled in your hair, and dirt stained your clothes. You didn't care, it felt good to be so close to him.

The laughter faded, and the mood changed. Your body pressed against his, his arms holding you tight. His breathing was quick, his gaze intense, making heat coil in the pit of your belly.

"I can tell the future," you whispered, leaning in to brush your lips against his.

He hummed, closing his eyes. "Oh?"

"Mmm," you nodded, kissing him. "I see one with you."

You felt his manhood stir against your thigh, and a jolt of excitement ran through you. His hand moved lower, coming to rest on your rear, and you gasped when he squeezed it. You wanted more, and you rocked your hips against his, earning a soft groan, his grip on you tightening.

"We should stop," he said, his words at odds with his actions.

"Do we have to?" You asked, nipping his lip.

"Unfortunately, yes," he replied, though his hands remained where they were. "If not, your father will likely kill me."

You pulled back a little, and sighed. "You're probably right."

You rolled off him, and lay on the ground beside him, looking up at the clouds. Your chest rising and falling rapidly.

He turned his head, looking over at you. His lips were pink and swollen, his eyes dark and full of uncertainty. "Did I upset you?"

You met his gaze, and shook your head. "No, I'm just..." you paused, trying to think of how to phrase it. "I'm not used to feeling this way."

"Neither am I," he admitted, rolling onto his side, facing you.

"How did it come to this?" You asked, shaking your head. "You've only been here a short time, and already, I cannot imagine my life without you."

He propped himself up on his elbow, reaching over to pluck a leaf from your hair. "I have no answers," he said. "But I know I cannot bear the thought of losing you."

You sat up, and leaned in to kiss him again. "Will you speak with my father? About us?"

"I will," he nodded, getting to his feet and helping you up. "But perhaps we should wait until after the solstice. The villagers are preparing for the festival, I do not wish to cause a distraction."

"All right," you agreed.

He took your hand, lifting it to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "I'll see you at the festival?"

"Yes," you smiled. "Until then."

"Until then," he replied, stealing one more kiss before heading back toward the village.

You watched him leave, your heart pounding, and your body aching with a need you had never felt before. Imagining him as your husband, and all that would entail, had you blushing and giddy. Now you could only hope that your father would agree.

The days leading up to the solstice were busy, the entire village preparing for the festivities. A large bonfire was built, and tables were set up. The men and women prepared the food and drink, the children helped gather the firewood. Everyone was excited, and eager to celebrate the shortest day of the year, knowing that the days would only grow longer from there.

Elijah and Niklaus had brought back a rather large elk, which had been butchered, and spiced, and placed on a spit over the fire. The smell was delicious, and people were milling about, chatting and laughing. They were the talk of the village, the strangers who had come in and brought such a great bounty.

Your father had been quite impressed, and the two of them were welcomed among the men, even being allowed to take part in the ceremonies. It warmed your heart to see Elijah getting on so well with your family. You were certain that he could convince your father to let the two of you wed.

"There is my beautiful girl," your father said, walking over and placing an arm around your shoulders. "Your first winter as a woman. It seems like only yesterday, you were still playing with wooden dolls," he sighed, shaking his head.

"Not much has changed," you laughed, nodding toward a group of children, who were dancing and singing.

"True," he agreed, letting out a small sigh. "Soon enough, you will be a mother yourself. Time moves so quickly."

"You could have more," you teased, leaning into his embrace. "A sister would be nice."

He gave a little chuckle, and kissed the top of your head. "Perhaps. But I have the most wonderful daughter, how could any other compare?"

"Thank you, father," you smiled. "Do you really think I'm a woman now?"

"I do," he nodded, looking down at you. "In a few years, you'll be married, and raising a family of your own."

You glanced over at Elijah, and smiled.

"A few years?" You echoed, looking up at your father. "Why so long?"

He let out a sigh, and his brow furrowed. "Your mother and I wish to find the perfect match for you," he explained. "We want to ensure that the man is strong, and smart. A good hunter, and a capable leader. Not too young, not too old. And most importantly, a good man."

You looked back over at Elijah, watching as he spoke with a few men. You were certain that he was the one, but you knew it would be best to not mention him just yet.

"I understand," you replied, glancing up at your father. "I'll keep an eye out."

"Good," he said, giving your shoulders a squeeze. "Now, go dance with your friends, the gods are smiling down on us this night."

"I will," you told him, giving him a quick hug.

As the evening went on, the food was served, and the drinking continued. The bonfire was lit, and everyone began to dance.

Your friends grabbed your hand and pulled you into the circle. The flames danced in the wind, and the music echoed through the village square. Laughter and chatter filled the air, and everyone was happy and cheerful.

Elijah and Niklaus joined in, dancing and drinking. They were a bit clumsy, but they picked up the steps quickly. You felt a little shy, being so close to Elijah, knowing how your body had reacted the last time. But he seemed to be keeping his distance, not wanting to upset your father.

As the night wore on, the children began to drift off, and the adults grew more boisterous. People began pairing off, heading to the shadows, away from prying eyes. You caught Elijah's gaze, and your cheeks heated up, quickly looking away.

The music slowed, and you noticed your father and mother slip away, a knowing look in their eyes. You knew what they were up to, and you couldn't help but giggle.

"What is it?" Elijah asked, coming up behind you.

"They're going to sneak off and do...well, you know," you replied, cheeks burning. "Marriage things," you added, a little breathless.

He laughed, and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into a quick kiss.

You stared at him, shocked, then turned to glance around, but no one was paying any attention.

"You shouldn't have done that," you scolded him, glancing over your shoulder.

"Come, I have something to show you," he said, taking your hand and leading you toward the woods.

"Elijah," you whispered, glancing around nervously.

"It's fine," he assured you, squeezing your hand.

He led you away from the bonfire, toward the edge of the woods. There were still a few people wandering around, but none were paying the two of you any mind.

You followed him into the darkness, and after a few moments, the sounds of the village grew distant. He came to a stop near a large tree, and turned to face you.

"Wait here, close your eyes," he whispered, kissing the tip of your nose.

You did as he asked, closing your eyes, a nervous flutter in your stomach. He stepped away, and you could hear twigs snapping, and the smell of smoke reached your nostrils.

"Elijah?"

"Patience," he chuckled.

You heard the rustle of fabric, and then his warm breath tickled your cheek.

"Open your eyes," he whispered.

You opened your eyes, and let out a gasp. There was a blanket spread on the ground, surrounded by candles, the flames flickering and dancing.

"This is lovely," you breathed.

"I hoped you would like it," he said, leading you over to the blanket and helping you sit down.

"How did you do all this?" You asked, looking around at the candles.

"Niklaus," he explained, sitting beside you. "He thinks I should woo you properly."

"Oh?" You grinned. "Woo me, hmm?"

He blushed, his gaze moving down to the blanket.

You lifted his chin, and leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. He responded eagerly, deepening the kiss, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you into his lap.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and shifted to straddle his lap. Giggling softly as his hands moved to your rear.

You could see the glow of the fire through the trees, and hear the faint sounds of the celebration, but you were alone, and free to be together.

He broke the kiss, his dark eyes shining in the candlelight. "I want to make my intentions known," he whispered, brushing his nose against yours. "I wish to marry you, if you will have me."

"Yes," you breathed, nodding eagerly.

"You're certain?" He asked, his expression serious. "It is not too soon?"

"No, I want this," you said, smiling. "I love you."

"And I, you," he whispered, his hand moving up to cup your cheek.

"I wish we could get married tonight," you said, resting your forehead against his.

He hummed in agreement, his thumb stroking your cheek.

You closed your eyes, reveling in the moment. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," he replied, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

"Have you... Uhm..." you stammered, your face heating up. "That is, have you ever...you know...before?"

His cheeks flushed, and his hands fell to his sides. "No, I haven't," he confessed. "Although I would very much like to."

"Oh," you breathed, his words sending a rush of desire through you.

You could feel the bulge in his trousers, and the knowledge that he was aroused only fueled your own excitement. You rolled your hips, and a groan rumbled in his chest.

"Y/N," he said, his voice strained.

"Yes?"

"We should stop," he whispered, his hands gripping your waist.

"Should we?" You asked, rocking your hips again, delighting in the way his breath caught.

"I think so," he nodded, his gaze meeting yours.

You could see the conflict in his eyes, his desire for you warring with his sense of honor.

"I think we should stay," you whispered, leaning closer, brushing your lips against his. "Unless you're afraid of me, and my womanly wiles."

"Afraid?" He scoffed. "Hardly."

"Good," you smiled, kissing him.

His hands tightened around your waist, and he moaned into the kiss, deepening it. You could feel the tension in his body, his restraint wavering.

You pulled back, breathless, and looked into his eyes. You saw the desire there, and the love, and knew you were ready. You pulled on the strings in the front of your dress, and loosened the garment, slipping it off your shoulders and revealing your bare chest.

You wanted to etch the look on his face into your memory forever. The mixture of awe, admiration, and desire. He was trying not to just stare at your chest, his hands twitching at his sides, as if fighting the urge to touch.

You took one of his hands, and brought it to your breast, his palm warm and soft against your skin. His breath hitched, and his pupils dilated, his gaze moving from his hand to your face.

"You are so soft," he whispered, his thumb brushing against the sensitive peak.

You let out a quiet moan, your lips parting, your head falling back. He took advantage, and pressed kisses along your jaw, and down the column of your neck, his other hand sliding up to knead your other breast.

His lips moved lower, and he brushed his mouth against the swell of one of your breasts, and the sensation sent a thrill through you. You had never been touched like this, and you could feel the dampness growing between your thighs.

He took your nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the sensitive peak, and the feeling was indescribable. A rush of heat flooded your veins, the cold air suddenly forgotten. Your hands moved into his hair, your fingers tangling in the dark curls.

His other hand cupped the swell of your breast, his fingers plucking and teasing the peak, eliciting little gasps and moans from you. You had never felt such pleasure, the gods were surely smiling down upon the two of you.

"Elijah," you breathed, your hips moving against him, seeking friction.

He let go of your nipple with a wet pop, his gaze moving back to yours. His lips were pink, and swollen, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded. He was panting, his chest rising and falling, his hands moving down to rest on your hips.

"My dear," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. "I would very much like to lay with you, if you are certain this is what you want."

You nodded, and kissed him, his hands moving up your back and pulling you close.

He lowered you onto the blanket, his body covering yours. His weight felt good, solid and comforting, and you let out a soft sigh. He kissed his way down your neck, pausing to press kisses to your shoulder and chest, pulling a giggle from you.

You reached down and tugged at his tunic, and he pulled back long enough to yank the garment over his head. Your hands moved over his torso, exploring the contours of his muscles, admiring his strength. He was beautiful, and you couldn't help but wonder what the rest of him would look like.

Your cheeks felt warm, your whole body thrumming with desire. Your gaze met his, and you saw a similar mix of lust and nervousness in his eyes.

"What now?" You asked, a little breathless.

He gave a soft chuckle, and leaned down to kiss you, his hands moving over your hips and thighs, pushing up the skirt of your dress. You gasped when his fingers brushed against the damp fabric of your small clothes.

"I've heard from the other men... that they have to... prepare the woman, first," he explained, a slight tremble in his voice.

"Oh," you breathed, a new wave of desire washing over you.

His fingers tugged at the string holding your undergarment on, and he slowly slid the garment down your legs, his eyes fixed on the newly exposed flesh.

"Elijah," you whispered, shifting beneath him.

He tossed your undergarment aside, and ran his hands up the insides of your thighs, gently pushing them apart. You bit your lip, feeling a little self-conscious, but when he leaned down and kissed the patch of curls, all thoughts fled from your mind.

You were certain that the gods had made you for each other. You felt his breath on the most sensitive part of you, and when his tongue brushed against it, a bolt of pleasure shot through you, and you tugged on his hair, trying to pull him closer.

He continued licking and sucking, the sounds making your face flush. He pushed your thighs up and open, exposing more of you to him.

You looked down, watching the way he tentatively tasted you, he was eager and curious, and his attentions were sending a steady rush of heat and pressure to your core.

He found the spot that made you whimper, and began sucking on it, drawing out the pleasure, making you moan and shake. He seemed encouraged by the sound, his movements becoming bolder, more sure.

The heat grew, the pleasure building, and you found yourself grinding against his face, chasing the sensation.

He let out a groan, and the vibration only added to the delicious torment. You felt like you were going to explode, the tension reaching its peak, and when he gently bit down on the sensitive nub, you came undone.

You arched off the ground, stars exploding behind your eyes. Your legs clamped around his head, trapping him in place, but he didn't seem to mind, continuing to lick and suck until the pleasure became too much.

You pulled on his hair, and he lifted his head, his mouth glistening in the firelight. You stared at him, panting and sweaty, wondering how it could have been so much better than the whispers had suggested.

He crawled up your body, his lips capturing yours in a deep, passionate kiss. You could taste yourself on him, the flavor heady and intoxicating. He smiled against your lips, and you reached between the two of you, tugging at the laces on his trousers.

"May I?" You asked, the tips of your fingers dipping beneath the waistband.

He nodded, a soft moan escaping him as your hand closed around his shaft. It was warm, hard, and velvety smooth. You stroked him, enjoying the way his face contorted with pleasure, his hips rocking into your touch.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes," he breathed. "Your touch is much different than my own."

"I should hope so," you chuckled. "Do you like it?"

"Yes," he groaned.

"Good," you smiled, your hand moving up and down his length, exploring what made him groan and move his hips.

"Enough," he panted, pulling away. "I do not wish to spill myself."

You chuckled and laid back, pulling him down on top of you. He tried to line himself up with your entrance, but he kept missing, his hand shaking. You let out a soft giggle, and took his shaft in your hand, guiding him into position.

"Like this," you whispered.

You felt him press against your entrance, the pressure unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. He leaned down and kissed you, his hips slowly thrusting forward, easing his length inside you.

The stretch burned a little, the feeling of fullness was overwhelming. You clung to him, his arms shaking, his breath hot against your skin. He was trying to be gentle, and you could tell it was taking all his self-control.

You ran a hand up his spine, feeling the tension in his body, the way his muscles quivered. You had never felt closer to anyone, the intimacy was almost too much, the emotion threatening to spill over.

"Are you all right?" He whispered, his gaze meeting yours. "Does it feel good?"

You nodded, "how about you?"

He chuckled, "better than anything I have ever felt."

You grinned, and lifted your hips, letting him know it was all right to move. He did, pulling out almost all the way, then easing back in. You could see the concentration on his face, his jaw clenched, his brows furrowed.

"More," you pleaded, wanting to feel him fully.

He complied, his pace increasing, the feeling of him moving inside you driving away the ache and leaving only pleasure.

"I'm afraid I will not last much longer," he breathed, his lips brushing against your cheek.

"It's all right," you assured him, reaching down in-between the two of you, feeling where you were connected.

It was wet, and warm; the coarse curls of his pelvis tickled your palm. You touched his shaft, stroking him as he thrust into you, and his hips bucked, a low moan escaping him.

"Y/N," he groaned, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his hips snapping forward.

His body stiffened, and his breath caught, his shaft pulsing inside you, and you could feel the warm flood of his release. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close, both of you panting and trembling.

He lifted his head, his dark eyes meeting yours, his cheeks flushed, a hint of a smile on his lips. You leaned up and kissed him, pouring all your love and happiness into it.

He pulled back, resting his forehead against yours.

"Are you all right?" He whispered.

"More than all right," you told him, running a hand through his hair. 

"As am I," he replied, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "We should get cleaned up and return to the celebration before we are missed."

"Or we could stay here," you suggested, smiling mischievously.

"Tempting," he chuckled. "But not wise."

"Fine," you sighed.

He pulled out of you, and you felt a twinge of loss, the cold air reminding you how wet and swollen you still were. He got up and fetched his tunic, cleaning you both up as best he could.

"There," he said, helping you up. "That should do until we can get a proper bath."

"I would very much like to bathe with you," you told him, grinning.

"As would I," he replied, handing you your dress.

You fixed your dress as he snuffed out the candles and collected them in the blanket, sneaking glances at each other, the blush still lingering on your cheeks. Once you were presentable, you took his hand, and followed him back to the celebration.

The sounds of the village grew louder, the voices and music carrying through the trees. He paused, and pulled you into a kiss, his hands resting on your waist. You melted into him, a familiar warmth spreading through you. He pulled away, looking down at you, his expression serious.

"I've known since the first time I saw you," he confessed, his cheeks turning pink. "That this is where I'm meant to be. That you are the one."

"Elijah," you whispered, tears burning in the back of your eyes. "I love you."

"And I love you," he smiled, kissing your forehead. "I will speak with your father tomorrow. There are wedding plans to be made."

"You will?" You squealed, throwing your arms around his neck.

"Of course," he chuckled, hugging you tightly.

He kissed you again, his lips moving slowly, savoring the moment. He reluctantly pulled away, taking your hand.

"Come, we must get back," he whispered, tugging you toward the village.

You followed him, the grin never leaving your face.

Your father would surely be surprised, but Elijah was a good man, a strong warrior, and would be a good husband. Your mother would be delighted, she had always liked Elijah. And, hopefully, that would convince your father to agree.

You couldn't wait to tell everyone the good news. You would finally have the wedding you always dreamed of.

The gods had been smiling down on the both of you, and tonight would be a night you would remember forever.

Snow had fallen in the early hours of the morning after the festival, and it continued for nearly a week. The wind howled, and the village was blanketed in white. It was a gloomy, dark and damp, the wind blowing fiercely, causing the shutters to bang against the wall.

A storm like this would keep everyone inside for at least a month. Fortunately your village was prepared, with plenty of stores and provisions, and the people were content to remain indoors, huddled near the fire.

You wished you were curled up next to Elijah throughout all this, the warmth of his body chasing away the chill in the air. Instead, you were trapped inside with your parents for nearly a month now, trying to keep the gloom at bay.

Your father had only left home once since the solstice, checking in on the villagers and making sure everyone was safe. He returned with good news, the livestock had survived the storm, and the storehouses were well stocked.

You helped your mother prepare food, and kept the hearth burning. The house was warm and cozy, but you couldn't stop the worry from creeping in. You hadn't been feeling well for weeks, food seemed to turn your stomach, and you'd grown irritable, snapping at your parents for no reason.

Your mother had taken notice, and was watching you closely, her eyes narrowing.

"Come sit," she called from her chair, the furs draped over her legs.

"I'm busy," you sighed, adding a few logs to the fire.

"Your father is seeing to the animals," she pointed out, a knowing look in her eye. "Sit," she said firmly, patting the empty seat next to her.

You let out a huff, and plopped down, crossing your arms.

"I can tell something is troubling you," she murmured, reaching out and stroking your hair.

"I just wish to see my friends," you said softly, picking at a loose thread on the cushion. "It's so dull and boring here."

"Ah, yes," she nodded. "And is there one particular friend you would like to see?"

"I suppose," you said, shrugging, feigning disinterest.

"I think there's a young man who is just as eager to see you," she smiled, reaching out and taking your hand. "Do you wish to speak of it?"

"No," you mumbled, not meeting her eye.

She was quiet for a moment, and then cleared her throat. "Are you in love?"

"Mother," you gasped, glancing toward the door, a nervous flutter in your belly.

"I was once a young girl, I know what it feels like," she smiled, squeezing your hand. "You should have seen me, I was hopeless, sighing and daydreaming. Your father had me under a spell," she grinned, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Really?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes," she giggled, her cheeks turning pink. "We... don't tell him I told you this...," she whispered, leaning in. "We would... sneak off and feast on the fruits… far before planting the tree," she giggled.

"Mother!" You exclaimed, your face flaming.

"I was very much in love," she said, patting your hand. "As are you, it seems."

"I...," you hesitated, the words getting stuck in your throat.

"Tell me, my child," she murmured, giving you a warm smile. "Do you wish to marry him?"

"I... Yes," you nodded, returning her smile. "I love him."

"And does he love you?"

"Yes, he does," you smiled.

Her hand moved to your stomach, and she rubbed slow circles. Her eyes met yours, a knowing look in them.

"Does he know?"

"Know what?" You asked, confused.

"My dear, you've been unwell," she explained. "Has it not occurred to you why?"

"No," you shook your head.

"Your body has changed, I noticed it the other morning when you were dressing. Your breasts are fuller, your waist is a little thicker. And," she stopped, and reached down, taking your hand and guiding it to your stomach. "Your belly is softer."

"I...uhm," you shook your head, panic welling up inside you.

"I'm not saying this to scare you," she soothed. "This is a good thing. The gods have blessed you."

"Oh," you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes.

"When was the last time you bled?" She asked, tilting her head.

"I...don't know," you admitted. "A moon ago? Before the snow fell."

"Is that around the time you and Elijah were...feasting on the fruits?" She asked, lowering her voice.

You nodded, and felt the tears spill over.

"Don't be afraid," she cooed, gathering you into her arms."I'm not angry, I promise,"

"Father will be," you mumbled, tears spilling down your cheeks.

"Perhaps not," she replied, her voice gentle. "If Elijah is a good man, he will take care of you. You and the baby. And your father will come around."

"You really think so?"

"I do," she assured you. "I will speak with him."

"What if the baby isn't his?" You asked, chewing on your lip.

"You've been with no other men, have you?" She said, her tone growing stern, her eyes hard.

"No," you shook your head.

She paused for a moment then laughed, and squeezed your shoulders. "Then the child is Elijah's."

"But what if father doesn't believe it? What if-,"

"Hush," she said firmly. "It will be alright. Do not worry."

"Are you certain?"

"I am," she smiled, stroking your cheek.

"You're not angry with me?" You asked, feeling a little guilty.

"No, I'm not," she assured you. "But I would prefer the wedding take place sooner rather than later."

Your conversation was interrupted by the sounds of your father returning and more voices joining his.

"Come," your mother whispered, standing and reaching for your hand. "I'll make us some tea."

You nodded, and followed her to the table.

"Good afternoon, my loves," your father greeted you, stomping the snow off his boots.

Niklaus and Elijah followed behind, they had brought food and supplies, the two of them covered in a thick layer of snow.

"It's a good thing these two came along," your father commented, shaking his head. "I might have gotten lost out there."

"It is quite a blizzard," Niklaus chuckled, pulling his cloak off.

"These fine gentlemen are going to stay with us until the storm passes," your father said, glancing at your mother. "The snow has caved in the roof of their hut."

"Well," your mother clapped her hands. "That settles it. Let me get a hot meal on the table."

You watched Elijah as he pulled off his cloak, the fur falling away, revealing his strong arms and shoulders. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, and quickly averted your eyes.

"Sweetie, will you show them where the linens are kept? We'll need to make up the beds."

"Of course," you murmured, standing and crossing the room.

"Here," Elijah said, reaching into his pack and pulling out a bundle. "We brought extra furs," he smiled.

"Thank you," you murmured, feeling his gaze on you.

Niklaus helped your father with the firewood and Elijah followed you to the backroom, helping you pull the linens out.

As soon as you were out of sight from the others, he pulled you into his arms, his lips finding yours.

"I've missed you," he breathed, his lips brushing over your skin.

You pressed your finger to his lips, shushing him. He smiled, his teeth nibbling on the digit. You blushed, and pulled your hand away, taking his hand and placing it on your stomach. His brow furrowed, and he looked down.

"I have a surprise," you whispered, biting your lip.

"A surprise?" He grinned, his hand sliding around to your back, pressing you closer.

"Our baby," you breathed, looking up at him, your heart thudding in your chest.

His eyes widened, and he shook his head.

"Are you certain?"

You nodded, and felt the tears begin to spill down your cheeks. You weren't sure if it was relief, or happiness, or fear, but it all came crashing down.

He wiped the tears from your cheeks, a wide smile on his face.

"Don't cry," he soothed, kissing your forehead. "I will take care of you."

"But my father," you sniffled.

He smiled and took your hand, leading you back into the main room. Your father was sitting at the table, while Niklaus stoked the fire and your mother was cooking, their voices filling the room.

She looked at you, and smiled softly. Your father glanced over, and his eyes narrowed at the sight of your hand in Elijah's.

"What's this?" He asked, his voice stern.

"Sir," Elijah started, swallowing nervously. "I know that we have not known each other long, but I have come to care deeply for your daughter. I would like to ask your permission to take her as my wife."

The silence that followed was deafening. Niklaus froze, and slowly stood, watching the scene unfold. The expression on your father's face was completely unreadable, his eyes focused on the two of you.

"Do you know what you're asking me, boy?"

"Yes, sir," he nodded. "I love her, and I will care for her."

Your father leaned back in his chair, and crossed his arms. His gaze went to Niklaus, who was still standing frozen by the hearth, a deer in the torchlight.

"Is your brother a good man?"

"He is, sir," Niklaus answered, his voice strained.

"Can he provide for her, can he protect her? Can he protect his children?"

"Yes, sir," he nodded.

Your father turned back to Elijah, his eyes narrowing.

"What do you intend to do when the snows have cleared, and the ground thaws?"

"I have found a piece of land not far from here," he explained. "With a river nearby, and plenty of forest. It's close enough to the village that it will not be difficult to travel."

"I see," your father murmured, glancing over at you.

You stared back at him, and tried not to let the hope show on your face.

"My child," he said, his voice soft. "Is this what you want?"

"It is," you nodded.

"I see," he said again, sighing softly. "The gods have spoken. It seems there will be a wedding."

"Sir?" Elijah asked, his voice wavering.

"I'm giving you my blessing," your father smiled.

You let out a happy sob, and threw your arms around Elijah's neck. He lifted you off the floor, his lips finding yours in a joyful kiss. You were dimly aware of the cheering coming from your parents and Niklaus, and you clung to him, the tears spilling down your cheeks.

You could have kissed him forever, but your mother cleared her throat, and you reluctantly pulled away.

 "Come, dinner is ready.” she said, smiling.

Elijah set you down, and gave your hand a squeeze. He led you to the table, and pulled out a chair for you. Niklaus and your parents joined you, and soon the sounds of eating and talking filled the room.

Your mother poured the tea, and you glanced up at Elijah, watching as he ate, his face flushed, his eyes shining. He met your gaze and smiled, a warmth spreading through you.

"Father... I have something else to tell you," you murmured, taking a sip of tea.

"Yes?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You will have a grandchild soon," you whispered, biting your lip.

This time, the silence that followed wasn't deafening, but absolutely terrifying. The expression on your fathers face went from happy to complete shock. Niklaus choked, and began coughing violently, but you suspected he wasn't choking, but simply trying to cover up his laughter. 

Your father's gaze went from you, then to Elijah, who had the good sense to look abashed, before finally settling on your mother, who simply shrugged, and continued to eat.

"So," he finally sighed, rubbing his face. "The wedding should be sooner rather than later."

"Yes, father," you nodded, your voice shaking.

He glanced at you, and reached over, taking your hand.

"You're sure?"

"I am." 

You watched his face, and were relieved to see his eyes fill with joy.

"Well," he grinned. "It seems I'm getting an early wedding gift."

"Really?" You squeaked, not quite believing what you were hearing.

"Yes," he laughed. "My little girl is having a baby. What better reason is there to celebrate?”

"Father," you cried, standing and hugging him.

He embraced you, and you could feel the tension melting away.

"The gods are truly smiling down on us," he chuckled, squeezing you tightly.

"They are," you agreed, giving him a watery smile.

"To new beginnings," your mother declared, raising her glass.

"To new beginnings," everyone echoed, and the conversation flowed, wedding plans being made.

As you listened to the conversations going on around you, and felt the warmth of the fire on your skin, and the heat of Elijah's hand resting on your knee, you couldn't help but feel that everything was going to be okay. You couldn't have asked for a better man to spend your life with.

The winter storm would pass, the snow would melt, and the sun would shine down on the village once more.

Spring was just around the corner.

[endereies]

THOUGHT YOU WERE MINE - CS

No Nut November - Day 5

NNN Masterlist...

-➤ When Chris was finally ready for a relationship with you, it was too late

Your situation with Chris was complicated to say the least. You had been running around with his for the past few months, sneaking off during parties and events. You loved the risk between getting caught with someone who was only meant to be your best friend. But it never stayed that way.

At first you sought out Chris’ attention in the midst of a drunken decision, yet as time went on, you found yourself seeking his frame in the crowd as soon as you arrived. It was stupid, you were aware of that. Chris never did commitment, that he made clear. Countless conversations spiralled around the idea of you two and what you both wanted.

You had thought you could escape the pain of falling for someone you couldn’t have. As soon as your heart clenched when he complimented you, you knew it was over. That feeling only grew and even if in the moment you felt like the only girl he’d ever look at, it was a lie. It didn’t help that when you snuck off with him, it wasn’t always for sex. Occasionally you’d find his hand tangled in yours while the concrete steps lay below you. Sounds of the party called the pair of you back. You always ignored it.

He'd steal the odd kiss from you, in front of people and never batted an eye. The two of you would be dragged into the stage by the other to your favourite songs and you never care how you looked when you were with him.

Those moments made him question how he felt about you, seeing your vibrant smile as you danced with your friends. Or the way you’d laugh without a care in the world. Little did you know he was falling too. He hated it.

Chris was open about his commitment issues to you. He wasn’t someone who was immediately happy getting into a relationship, the whole idea intimidated him. Having a label felt too intimate for him, and after being hurt in a previous relationship it was easy to see why. The fact he was falling for you was already enough to throw him off course, he just couldn’t turn away.

The way you both felt wasn’t subtle. Your friends always giggled when they noticed the smudged makeup that was lining your lips. No matter how many times you denied the accusations of you two dating, the butterflies in your stomach became obvious.

That was until you confronted Chris about everything.

“Hey Chris...? Vulnerability filled you as soon as the words left your mouth. Quick glances around the room failed to aid you in finding anything else to converse about. His hand stilled from your hip, the touch burning your skin. “Mm? What’s up?”

You hadn’t even said anything to him, and you already felt sick in your stomach. Is this how every confession goes? “Can we talk…about us?”

“What about us Y/n?” You could tell he was getting concerned, yet not out of fear, but the fact he’d have to repeat himself again.

“I don’t want this anymore…like, I don’t know. I guess I don’t want to act like this is all casual anymore.” His touch on your hip no longer burned as it withdrew completely.

“I’ve told you, I’m not into that shit Y/n. We agreed on that, you knew. I’m not meant to be in a relationship, especially with you. That shit would hurt the both of us. We talked about this, end of.”

Tears brimmed at your eyes, and you felt so childish. He was right. You had discussed this more than once, the rules were clear. Weren’t rules meant to be broken. You couldn’t believe that you could be so stupid, the false hope from your friends fed into things that shouldn’t have been touched.

“Right…Well maybe I should go.” He didn’t protest, or even acknowledge you leave. Asking you to stay felt like too much to him, even if every cell argued with him.

The door shutting felt too real. You had actually left, this wasn’t a prank? Chris’s gaze was held on the door, praying you’d push it open and walk back through. You never did.

You quietly left through the front door and walked away from the porch, both your hands in your pockets. You were thankful for the dark sky, that way no one could see your tears. It was too quick, to reactive. It felt scripted hearing those words from him. ‘I’m not meant to be in a relationship, especially with you’

With you…

Maybe if you were someone else, he’d be more willing to hold your hand and call you his. He would always step in and call you ‘his girl’ when any other guy got a little to close to him. For once you wished it wasn’t a ploy. Chris never played you, never treated you badly, never gave you a reason to walk away. Maybe that’s why it hurt so much, he was too perfect.

Steady weeks went by with no contact from you. You never came over to his place anymore, invitations to parties remained unread. He didn’t care, he shouldn’t. What was this weird feeling in his chest.

It hurt seeing you so close and yet so far. Your contact was there, staring him in the face. Your face beaming in the profile picture wasn’t helping him. Chris felt out of place now. Without you by his side he had no one to kiss, no one to hold. He had no one to rant about his day to, no one to console when things got bad. His friends weren’t the same, he needed you. As much as he hated to admit it, all his thoughts revolved around you more than ever. Whenever he used to think about you, his heart clenched with resolute admiration towards you, now it felt sour. It was like a deep breathe wasn’t deep enough, distractions weren’t fulfilling enough.

He hated the feeling of falling for you, but the feeling of losing you was a nauseating sensation he wanted to scratch off his skin.

Not even alcohol could wipe the stain of you, nothing was working. He waited too long and fell comfortable to the casualness of your relationship. He was willing, willing to work through any fears if it meant getting you back.

Before he knew it, his front door was locked, and footsteps disappeared into the night. Stars began to light the sky above him. He found himself wondering if you were looking at them too, like you used to. The walk was only 15 minutes away but each second felt too long. he had waited too long. Now he hurt someone he cared about for his own selfishness.

When Chris turned the corner, his body stilled, and his stomach dropped to his feet. An unfamiliar car was parked outside your house, tilted against the concrete. Your hand placed gently into another’s as they pulled you from the car. You inched closer towards them, yet Chris remained frozen. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. Who was he, why was he here, with you.

The voices were too meek for Chris to make out, yet the message was clear. It was evident when the distance between you two close, his lips softly touching yours.

Only then could Chris turn his eyes away, he felt betrayed without reason. Chris wasn’t ready and when he finally was, he pushed you away enough to move on.

Yet, he loved you first.

@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerrss @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @colorthecosmos444 @anabethinking @zay-sturns @anyaa2s @emilyfaith2003 @jassturn @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturniolosiphone @ribread03

© ENDEREIES 2024

[ilovepaigebueckerss]

the other women.

word count: 886 (kinda short)

pairing: p.b. x reader

summary: After the live incident with Azzi y/n confronts paige.

pt: 2/3 (I think there will be 3 parts idk)

NOT PROOFREAD SO NTM.

i hope yall enjoy thiss. im gonna remake part 1 because it doesnt really fit with this part too well. i mean its good enough for yall to get the plot of the story but ykkk. SO SORRY FOR MAKING AZZI A BAD PERSON YALL ITS FOR THE PLOTTT🙏🙏 tried to do the lil picture thing evb be doing cs i thought it was cute how we feeling?..

-love gabby💋

3RD PERSON

Paige wakes up to an empty bed. She blinks rapidly trying to blink the sleepiness away. Wincing as she feels the hangover coming in. She notices the advil and glass of water on the bedside table you left for her. There was ice in the cup indicating the glass was filled not too long ago.

She doesn’t hesitate to pick up the glass and pills and takes them with one big gulp.

YOUR POV

Whenever you’re mind is too loud you usually vent to Paige and cry in her arms. You couldn’t do that this time so you went for a walk. You honestly had no clue where you were because you were so consumed in your thoughts you lost track of where you were walking.

Youre phone pinged snapping you out of your thoughts.

my fav blonde🖕🏻: Where are you?

You stared at the message not knowing if you should respond or not.

Just out for a walk.

You respond dryly trying to let her know you don’t want to speak to her. You hated confrontation so you didn’t know what you were going to do about the whole Azzi situation.

my fav blondie🖕🏻: Thanks for the advil and water, bug.

You stared at the phone not even realizing you were crying until you saw the tear droplet falling down your screen.

That damn nickname. She had given it to you as a joke when you first started dating and it’s stuck ever since. Whenever she called you it, a wave of comfort rushed through your body. Now it was just making you sad.

“You okay?” you hear a semi-familiar voice call out.

You look up quickly wiping your tears and see this girl from your psychology class. Her name was Addie or something like that.

“Yeah” you manage to croak out.

“You sure? Doesn’t really seem like it.” she says chuckling attempting to lighten the mood.

“Yeah. Thanks for asking.” You say smiling.

She smiles back. She was pretty, she had freckles and was brunette.

“Do you need a ride?” She offers still smiling.

“If its not too much of a bother.” You say embarrassed.

“Ofcourse! Hop in.”

PAIGES POV

Guilt is rushing through my body remembering the events from last night. It all happened so fast and it was a mistake.

my baby: omw home. 🤍 (hearted the msg)

my baby: got a ride from this girl

I smiled seeing her notification.

Theres even a video going around and im just praying y/n didnt see it. She could take it the wrong way. I would have to tell her eventually. She just cant find out through a video on social media.

FLASHBACK: AT THE BAR

STILL PAIGES POV

Azzi was being extra touchy tonight but I just assumed it was the alcohol. I mean she knows I have a girlfriend and she loves her.

“Paige, you look so good” Azzi slurs out running her hand down my chest.

I quickly move her hand off of me. “Thanks Azzi.” I say smiling. She puts her red solo cup up to her mouth “I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight” I say grabbing the drink from her.

“Nooooo” She whines. I just laugh at her drunk antics.

She grabs my face and gets really close. “Never noticed how pretty your eyes were.” She says staring at my eyes.

I just smile awkwardly trying to get out of her grasp. Before I knew it her lips were on mine. I gently push her off me. “Azzi.” I begin. “Paige you know you want me just as much as I want you.” She cuts me off.

“I have a girlfriend. And shes the only girl I want.” I say sharply.

“This is bullshit” She spits, pushing herself off of me.

PRESENT TIME

3RD PERSON

“Thanks for the ride.” Y/n says smiling at the brunette. Who smiles back “Anytime.”

—

Y/n is fumbling with her keys outside of the apartment door trying to find the right one. Once you find the key she puts it in the lock and unlocks the door.

Paige immediately shoots up of the couch and runs to her girlfriend. “Hi babyy.” she says smiling and giving you a hug. “missed you.” she says in your neck.

The feeling of Paige’s breathe on your neck made you shiver.

“Hey.” You couldn’t help but smile, missing Paiges warmth.

You let go of each other and you wander off into the kitchen while Paige goes back to her spot on the couch.

“Hey can we talk?” You manage to say. Paige looks up at you and hums in response already knowing what you’re going to say.

“What happened last night..” You pause and clear your throat “With Azzi?” You say trying to hold back your tears.

“Y/n I promise it wasn’t what it looked like.”

“Then what was it Paige.” You snap all your built up anger coming out. “Because it looked like the love of my life cheating on me with her BEST FRIEND.” You say emphasizing the last two words.

“Please let me explain baby.” Paige says, tears pricking her eyes.

“Don’t call me that.” You say coldly.

“You don’t need to explain anything I saw what I needed to see.” You say before Paige could open her mouth to speak.

You walk out of the door not wanting to make the situation worse.

—

thank you for reading mwahh!

[6ronze]

𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐀 𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐌���

jujutsu kaisen w HIGURUMA HIROMI format. headcanons + scenarios warnings. fluff + nsfw. mdni. fem!reader. oral(reader receiving). fingering. pretty tame and domestic stuff. summary. unorganised thoughts ab higuruma.

author’s note. this is literally just me yapping ab all the possibilities w higuruma cs i love the man and i’ll probably reblog this w a continuation of my thoughts + non-sorcerer au so he’s just an overworked lawyer here

PART 1

Similar to nanami kento, he’s a busy man, perhaps even busier since he’s a lawyer. Being at the office most of his time made him a stranger to the mundane pleasures of dating—especially so when you suddenly barged into his life.

A stranger as he is, he tries his best. Sending delivery flowers to your own workplace when he finds himself staring at his phone, waiting for a lightbulb to go off in his head to find an idea on what to do or say to you after hours of no contact.

He wanted to talk you, he truly did, but he didn’t what to talk about exactly. He was the best at the finding the big words to get his point across when presenting something to the judge in court, and yet here he was, as speechless as ever with you.

If it wasn’t flowers, then it’d be a short voice message that he begrudgingly made when he finally had the words to say to you at the busiest of moments he was in. As deep and dismissive his voice may be, his words expressed enough when you heard him say your name. In fact, you would always notice how he keeps calling your name in the audios he sends you, like if he was yearning for you and lazily keeping it under wraps. He was too unbothered to truly hide his affections for you, admitting to whatever accusation you made on him.

You thought he was down bad? He won’t deny it. You called him out for his lack of subtlety of being infatuated with you jokingly? He’d say yes to it immediately without realising you were just teasing.

He picks you up from work whenever he could but most of the days he’d come home later than you do so you’d have to go home on your own. Though when he gets home late at night to you, he’d take off his suit jacket and have his sleeves rolled up, ready to curl you up in his arms and drag you to bed with him.

He’d have one arm firm around your waist, his hand hold your side once he has you on top of him on your shared bed. His cologne would wash over your nostrils, making you playfully complain why and how he still smelled so good after so long at work. It’d make him scoff, his eyes closed and the corner of his lips curled to a smirk.

Once he has you in his arms it’d be hard for you drag him out of it. You knew for a fact he was baiting you with his closed eyes, ignoring all you excuses and pleas to get out of bed and shower, maybe even have dinner you kept for him. Higuruma would ignore them all, waiting for you say the magic words—i’ll bathe with you.

Only then would he finally release you from his grasp, loosening that arm he had around you, patting your hip as he got up from the bed with you.

With a tug on his tie, he’d take slow steps into the bathroom, watching you walk into it first and the lights open. He’d tilt his head to the side slightly, a faint smile of amusement making it’s way to his face at the sight of you failing to hide that hint of excitement as you got the faucet on your bathtub running, your movements quick and rigid despite your best efforts to act natural.

PART 2

The silent process of helping him undress was awfully suffocating, the tension and stolen glances with only the sound of water running in the background making you hold your breath against your will. Your hands up against his chest untying the now loose tie around his neck made your body heat up, the soft yet short breaths leaving your lips not going unnoticed by either of you. Looking up at him was impossible but also so fucking irresistible. You’d flicker your eyes up at him only to find out he was already looking you, the sight of his own gaze fixated on you alone made your thighs rub against one another, the slick of your arousal beginning to coat your panties.

You finished untying his tie and took steps back, checking up on the bathtub that was now near full of water. While you went to close the faucet filling up the bathtub, higuruma would start unbuttoning his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders and carelessly letting it fall to the floor. He’d innocently tease you by making the sounds of the metal on his belt louder than it should be, purposely making you hyperaware that he was stripping.

Finally, he’s naked and bare in the bathtub with you. He’d have his head thrown back against the curved rim of the tub behind him, letting out an exasperated sigh that he knew would catch your attention. When your head finally turns to him and your pretty voice utters his name, he lift his head off the cold rim of the tub, leaning forward to you and slithering his arm around of stomach under the water. He’d give you a short hum, his voice hoarse yet still curious.

While you went on talking about your day at work all that he’d be thinking about if how perfectly your soft body fits against his hard one, like a puzzle piece he’d been missing for the entire day, and the years he lived before you. He’d have his thumb gently rubbing the side of your rib, nuzzling his chin onto the top of your head and letting you feel the reverberations of his gravelly voice through his neck that he had so close to the back of your head, his adam’s apple bobbing and all whenever he acknowledged you.

Higuruma would have his hands wandering as you speak, you words progressively being reduced to incoherent mumbles when you felt his fingers moving down your tummy, fingers rubbing circles on your pelvis before slipping lower to the fold between your thigh and your hips. His calloused fingers would be cupping your heat under the water in no time, his eyes following his hands and looking down at you with soft hums to keep you thinking he was still paying attentions to your mutters. Higuruma’d point out how your voice was getting quieter and quieter with each second that passed, exhaling a brief chuckle when you retorted him in return, blaming him for distracting you.

You’d have your legs spread further in the water, your thighs pressing up against his to give him access to your cunt, shivering when he scissored your folds, his middle finger making slow strokes up against your slit. Higuruma would have the length of his middle finger ground up against your slit while he teased you, revelling at the sight of you squirming in the water between his legs. Fuck, he was tired, he’ll admit. But what would be better rest than the sleep he’d get after fucking you, after making you feel good.

PART 3

Sundays. A day that was supposed to be his day off was spent by being in his office completing paperwork and sorting documents from last night. Being the menace you were, you bothered him. Coming in and out his office, whining and complaining about how he should spend some time with you on his day off.

After hours of convincing, he gave in. Higuruma thought that maybe if he gave you what you wanted so bad, you’d be sated and leave him alone for a while. But oh fuck, he was so wrong.

It’s been God knows how many minutes know and he still had his face buried between your legs, your skirt hiked up to your hips and your body sprawled on his desk. He had your legs hung on his shoulders, your heels burying into his back whenever his hooked nose ground against you clit, your hips rolling forward to seek more friction from him however you could.

His desk was a mess now, your hands flinging and pushing some stacks of his well-organised files off the table unintentionally. You muttered some apologies but he shut you up with deliberate strokes of his tongue up for entrance, lapping up your juices shamelessly. His eyes remained as stern before, though they were more fixated on the view of your body that he saw from his perspective. He loved it, the sight of you with your back arched and writhing for him, your hands gripping onto whatever you could of the table to use as an outlet for the onslaught pleasure he was giving you.

Higuruma would have you cum on his tongue once and continue on his assault on your sopping wet cunt with his tongue all up until he made you reach the brink of another orgasm only to pull away, sitting upright in his chair and licking your juices that he had smeared on his lips, using the back of his hand to wipe your cum dripping down his chin. He’d leave you panting and aching for more, mewls and pleas leaving your lips to let you cum just one more time though you knew he wouldn’t—he’d break your pretty mind instead.

[lecsainz]

ׄFORMULA ONE MASTERLIST

( requests are OPEN || back to nav || back to main masterlist )

˒ ⌕ second f1 masterlist

fluff ಇ | smut ✧ | angst ✶ | sad ʚ | sugestive 𑁤

CL 16 ✶ CHARLES LECLERC

˒ ⌕ one shot

runaway bride: you were nervous before your wedding and realized your true feelings for your best friend charles.

love notes: you and charles spend a cozy morning together, enjoying breakfast and a sweet moment at the piano.

winning hearts: charles and you, a new driver on the grid, form a strong bond as you both pursue your dreams in motorsport.

stuck in the elevator: you and charles find yourselves stuck in an elevator.

always be here: after crashing during the quali at the miami grand prix, charles is devastated, but finds peace and comfort in your presence.

remind me: you and charles have been friends since childhood and end up dating when you're older.

big dream: y/n and charles's daughters, rylee and amelie, wish for a baby brother, leading to lighthearted conversations and laughter during a family lunch in monaco.

meeting of families: where charles becomes enchanted upon meeting carla's older sister during a family dinner. → PART TWO

saturday morning: the one where you decide to look for your boyfriend around the apartment after not finding him in bed.

home sweet home: you're charles' girl, and he catches you groovin' solo in the crib you both share.

˒ ⌕ smut

yacht experience: you're on a yacht with other drivers, and charles can't get your body out of his mind from the previous night, leading to him and you having sex in the yacht's cabin.

dress: you and charles are attending a gala event, and he can't hide how much the dress you're wearing drives him crazy. the night ends with the two of you having hot sex in the hotel room.

shower heat: charles and you engage in a shower sex, where he skillfully uses the showerhead to bring you to climax.

lust to love: coming soon!

honeymoon: the one where you and charles have sex for the first time after getting married.

just ride: the one where you decide to surprise and tease charles by riding him on the balcony of your apartment while he's on a call with his engineer.

you're mine: the one where you decide to tease charles and he ends up getting jealous.

sunset: charles being turned on by your sundress.

˒ ⌕ smau

hollywood rumors: the one where you recently broke up with actor dylan o'brien, sparking rumors of a potential new relationship with a formula one driver.

met gala interview: the one where you getting ready for the met gala and preparing for an interview with vogue and you receive questions about your secret boyfriend.

wedding to remember: you and charles, along with your daughters amelie and rylee, get ready to attend a friend's wedding where the twins will be the flower girls.

high infidelity: the one where you're famous and end up raising suspicions of cheating on your boyfriend carlos with charles, his teammate.

main thing: the one where you're an actress and a mom, and rumors about you and charles surface. → PART TWO

been mine: that one where you and charles have been friends since childhood and end up together.

˒ ⌕ fake text

this toxic twisted rush: the one where you get abandoned on your anniversary with charles and end up discovering his true colors.

sleepless: the one where charles can't sleep before a race day and ends up sending messages to his girlfriend.

interview distractions: the one where you're charles' girlfriend and decide to tease him a bit during an interview.

˒ ⌕ headcanons

i really like your curls i like a lot ಇ

˒ ⌕ blurbs

happy birthday love ಇ

perfume ಇ

CS 55 ✶ CARLOS SAINZ

˒ ⌕ one shot

she’s a bad bad girl: that one where the media makes up stuff about your relationship with carlos but he ain't gonna let that shake our relationship.

smooth operator ✧

˒ ⌕ smau

instagram stories: carlos and you had been keeping their three children out of the public eye for a while, but accidentally revealed them in a social media story.

bésame: the one where you are carlos' latina girlfriend and you exchange cute posts on instagram

˒ ⌕ blurbs

good night babe: the one where you are insecure about sleeping at the same bed as your boyfriend, carlos.

amor a la ventana: where you're the next-door neighbor of carlos, and he invites you to dinner.

LH 44 ✶ LEWIS HAMILTON

˒ ⌕ smau

we keep this lowkey: the one where harry styles' younger sister is seen with lewis and everyone starts commenting about a possible romance between them.

˒ ⌕ headcanons

˒ ⌕ blurbs

late night drive: the one where you are lewis, go out for a car ride at night.

KR 07 ✶ KIMI RAIKKONEN

˒ ⌕ blurbs

melting the iceman: the one where you see your husband taking care of your son and feel that you couldn't be happier as you are.

PG 10 ✶ PIERRE GASLY

˒ ⌕ one shot

hotel room: where the hotel mistakenly switches room keys, and pierre ends up in christian horner's niece's room.

bathroom incident: pierre takes his sister to a race, and you get trapped in the paddock bathroom.

LN 04 ✶ LANDO NORRIS

˒ ⌕ one shot

back to december: lando reunites with his ex-girlfriend in the paddock with another driver.

˒ ⌕ fake text

sweatshirts: the one where you steal lando's sweatshirts.

miss you: the one where you're lando's girlfriend and, because you miss him so much, you decide to go see him at a race.

date with my bestie? the one where you're best friends with lando but due to adult life, you end up drifting apart

miss you: the one where you're lando's girlfriend and, because you miss him so much, you decide to go see him at a race.

˒ ⌕ smau

triangle: the one where you're toto wolff's daughter and everyone wants to know who your boyfriend is.

˒ ⌕ headcanons

dating with lando norris

DR 03 ✶ DANIEL RICCIARDO

˒ ⌕ one shot

sister's support: you decide to accompany daniel to a race for the first time and end up being invited on a date.

tattooed: the one where you're a tattoo artist, and Daniel comes to your tattoo studio.

football game: the one where you're the younger sister of the kelces and you go to a travis game and end up meeting daniel ricciardo.

˒ ⌕ smau

mystery affair: the one where you, a famous singer, finds yourself in the midst of rumors when photos of her with lando and pierre surface, and no one expects the true identity of her mysterious man.

falling for you: that one where you're a famous singer, and daniel comes to your show, and you exchange love declarations on social media.

MV 33 ✶ MAX VERSTAPPEN

˒ ⌕ smau

my brother's friend: the one where you're charles' sister and dating one of his friends, max.

˒ ⌕ one shot

foolish: where max has feelings for you but he's with kelly, and when he finally acts on it, it's already too late.

MS 47 ✶ MICK SCHUMACHER

˒ ⌕ smau

they're talk- talk- talking about: the one where you and mick have been dating for a while without the media knowing and you start interacting more on social media

SB 05 ✶ SEBASTIAN VETTEL

˒ ⌕ one shot

winter visit: the one where you go on a super chilly winter holiday date with your boyfriend for a mini getaway to meet his parents.

OP 81 ✶ OSCAR PIASTRI

˒ ⌕ blurbs

ON THE GRID ✶ READER DRIVER

˒ ⌕ one shot

sneezes and strategies: where you have a sneezing attack during a race.

fangirl moment: before a race, you encounter one of your favorite singers in the paddock, who happens to be your fan.

from pit stop to push-up: you go to the gym "of your own free will" with lando.

˒ ⌕ driver!reader x fabio quartararo

secret crush: you receive a message from motogp rider fabio quartararo aand become the subject of jokes about your little mishap from the entire grid.

date night: part two is a secret crush, where you go on a date with fabio.