#i have a small + sad idea for a comic abt him so i made this little doodle to practice drawing him

[theplatypusblue]

what a weirdo

[exquisitelyrandom]

hi i know one of them is kinda old but if you're okay with it i would love to do a fic of either of these tacophone comics of yours, maybe even both (with credit ofc)

https://www.tumblr.com/exquisitelyrandom/690825927273463808/draw-something-tacophone-related-and-if-you-dont

https://www.tumblr.com/exquisitelyrandom/713112801221263360/angst-because-the-sillies-are-on-my-mind-again

oh my god ofc you can w credit holy sh

YES!!!! AAUGQHZHHQ I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO!!!!! yuo have no idea how much I've been looking for reading content of them plsplspslsplspls

btw where would you be posting the story? I'd love to read it,, if you do make a fic of them, please tag me/send me a link!! ^^

going into small detail abt the ideas behind the comics below because im insane abt them vvv

they're actually very similar to each other so they may as we 🐝 connected/have the same situation lmao

first comic is leaning more on mic's. side

;After getting into the hotel, she's. absolutely miserable but keeps trying to pretend she's fine (she is not). Of course, Soap and the others notice her mood and one of them eventually get to talk to her about it. But even as she does open up, she never outs Taco. Ever. And blames it on the contest. Soap/Whoever confronted her knows it isn't true, but doesn't push further. After the talk, Mic basically just sits there and contemplates, before deciding """past is past""". Eventually, she starts thinking about the whole thing less, and she's smiling a lot more the next few days/weeks. Er. Until. That one night.

The second comic - or, in both comics - , here's Taco's side

There was actually gonna be more similar..things.. in both of the panels i put up above,, but i decided they'd look too similar to each other so Taco looks angrier in the second one

It all starts when Mic walks through the portal. Yeah. She didn't expect that. Taco's not someone to be caught off guard; her moves are calculated, and she knows the outcome of something even before it had a chance to start. She's memorized the puzzles and patterns on an object's mind, knows how to use it to her advantage - knows how to manipulate it into what she needs it to do. So why was it that she..?

She's teleported to their little spot, and her emotions are. overwhelming. At first, she feels.. sad. Distraught. Distraught that Mic left. Then, she feels.. angry. Angry at Mic for even leaving without any further word. Angry at Mic to have the AUDACITY to blame ..her. And she's angry.. at herself. Then, she's sad again. Her mind goes back to the words Microphone last spoke to her, and it stings, just as much as when she first heard them, if not more. She sits on the log -[soft thud]- oh, nevermind, she's on her knees in the soft grass, head in hands. She grips her shell tight and tries to shout, to let out the scream that's been trying to claw its way out of her throat, to get all of the overwhelming thoughts out of her head, but all she can manage is a choked sob, her throat tightening as she curled into herself.

And I'm only now realizing I'm getting WAY too carried away so fast forward everyone:

Taco thinks back on all the mistakes she's made, and back at one of her.. biggest mistakes yet. And, after a while, she decides she's done running, and she's not letting her slip from her grasp that easily. Not again. Not like him.

So, she writes, and writes, and writes, and writes. Until, after over fifty crumpled papers and about three half empty cups of - now cold - tea, she's finished. A letter to Microphone. She spilled her heart out on it, not leaving a single detail on everything she's done, opening herself up completely to the object never expected to break down years worth of built up walls. She's a little hesitant as she sends it to the hotel's mail, and then she waits.

She doesn't respond. Its not the first time. She takes a deep breath. No, she's not letting it faze her. She needs Mic to see she's being genuine. Why couldn't you be genuine from the start? When she most needed you to be?

She sends another letter, this time, directly into her room. She drops it through the little window, and she runs off before anyone notices her. A week passes. She doesn't respond again. She doesn't give up. She sends another letter, and another, and another, and another..

Two months has passed since then - has it really been that long? - And she's on the floor, miserable. The cracks have gotten worse and she can barely see with her right eye, she can barely stand, and her knees feel weak. Her head feels heavy, and her mind goes back to quiet picnics, white bowties and purples hues. And it just.. hurts. It hurts. It hurts, so much and she doesn't want it to. It hurts, and she's angry. Angry at herself for even considering to leave Microphone after they get the million. She's angry at herself for not paying attention to what may have caused the whole thing. Angry at herself slipping up the one good thing she had.

Did you ever have her?

She's angry at herself for being the reason Microphone left.

She feels lightheaded, yet her head feels heavy. And she's so, so tired.. she blacks out

The next thing she knows, she's on her way to ..hotel oj.

Uh oh

so um when I said "small detail" i may have.. lied HEJHSJQJZNNQJXN I WAS GENUINELY GOING TO JUST DESCRIBE MY IDEA FOR THE COMIC IM OSRRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY i had many things to say about tacoy

YOU DONT HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH W THE PLOT I'd love to see ur take on the comic!! Ignore my gay little writings hehr

[minquiec]

Jia + Interactions

These are kind of under the implication of either 1: this is after atsv and all is well again or 2: the conflict of atsv never occurred and theyre all friends and miguel is just a tired overworked dad (this one preferably I jus want them to all be friends is this SO hard to ask)

pav:

- actually really good friends

- they trauma bonded over that one time hb bought chinese food (fondly, or not, remembered as The Incident)

- Verging into annoying little brother and equally annoying older sis territory

- Really really snarky that it might be bullying atp

- I like to think pav is a little nosy esp w drama (did u see the way he was w gwen and miles like cmon 😞) so jia would gossip a lil. she tries to not but eeeuyghhhhh maybe just this once [it was in fact not just this once]

- because! he's a nosy little fella i think he'd enjoy watching some dramas w rlly outrageous plot lines. jia enables by sending him reccomendations so he can watch w gayatri ajajaj

- I drew this once but in anomaly hunter au pav constantly pesters jia for credits so he can buy food cause he spends it on knives AHSBJAS

- bullies him but gets bullied back

gwenny:

- I have no idea on how jia would fit into the timeline of events within the canon lore hence the preferred implication of how atsv conflict never happened and I can make shit up HAHDHWHS but gwen was the offical spider to bought jia into the hq

- I made a comic abt this WAY EARLY of making jia but it was abt miguel and his slow ass descending platform LOLOL but yea they kept in touch

- they used to be that polite friendly but slowly got more unhinged over time

- flicks web balls/rubber bands(??) at the other

- share similar swinging patterns by jia is a bit more sporadic and leans towards a parkourish style while gwens likeee gymnastics?? I forogor the word

- bullies her for fun abt miles

kilometers:

- oh ☹️☹️

- ik i literally said that these are under the impression of the events of atsv not occurring but if jia ever saw miles' like full story (from itsv to atsv) she honest to god would've been like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

- this is literally just me projecting but if y'all remember the scene in itsv where aaron found out miles identity AND THE SCENE WHERE HE LOOKS SO FUCKIN SCARED OF HIS UNC AND LOOKED SO SMALL CAUSE HES (13??14?? I forgot) and I think the only thing she would've said is just

- he's just a kid ☹️

- he was just a boy ☹️☹️☹️

- She would've been really sad and he makes her really sad cause he was so young

- her son btw ‼️‼️

- also bullies him abt gwen

miguelito:

- sheeeee doesn't exactly respect him as much as she should but she also doesn't care enough to disrespect him straight up??

- it's more bc the first impressions of him has always been very unserious so she doesn't take him very seriously 😭

- Especially after watching him descend so incredibly painfully slow on his little elevator platform

- gen z employee and tired boss vibes

- She calls him bossman which he's like 🗿stop calling me that but she's just 😆 idcccc

- Also calls him 老大 for fun too and it basically means like,,,boss or head honcho or top dog or something along the lines idk how to translate it

- only reason she's seen around him is cause she likes lyla and thinks she's cute

[dodo-begone]

Could you Not?

Pairing: Techno x Reader

Request: yooo remember a while ago when we were talking abt Techno hiding you from the yandere boys?? that would be hella neat to see ngl —

Word count: 1.9k

Warning: yandere, stockholm syndrome, kidnapping, panic attack at end

A/n: yan!minors are mentioned, that’s why there’s a yandere warning.

The day was predestined to be great; a day full of sunshine and peace. So many potatoes would be tilled, the dog army would grow exponentially and other calming hobbies.

Now let’s be honest, that isn’t the reality of things at all. Nothing is ever nice and simple. Life always needs to throw a curveball at people; keeping them on their feet, on edge for their entire existence. Techno was no exception from this rule. His life had been plagued by tragedy and hardships. It made him calloused and desensitized towards the world and whatever challenges it had to throw at him. Though nothing could have really prepared him for what came next. Well he actually did, in a way. Similar in reasoning yet very different in the reaction and how the problem was presented to him.

Puffy stood at his door, struggling to hold someone the size of her. They were thrashing around, screeching to be released from their confines. She looked exhausted and beyond worried. There were few words to describe her state. Sadness painted her face like clouds painted the sky; it was evident with every feature of her face, every movement of her brow and reddening eyes. Pants escaped her lips and the struggling wasn’t helping her catch the escaping breaths.

The person Puffy was holding wasn’t any better. They looked malnourished, dirty, panicked, stressed. Those were just the obvious and quick observations. There were probably so many other hidden issues with this person. Honestly, Techno didn’t want to deal with them or Puffy. He was absolutely done dealing with people.

He’d have to get over it though, as Puffy asked him to care for this mystery person. She pleaded so much, saying that if they couldn’t stay with him, they’d be in terrible danger. Techno was her only option in protecting this person. There were some horrible people looking for the person in her arms and she couldn’t protect them on her own. Honestly he was only half listening. He really didn’t want to hear about another person’s sob story and how they so desperately needed his help. How they just couldn’t make it without his help. Occasionally Techno nodded or gave a “mhm” to indicate he was listening. Because that’s the polite thing to do, even if you aren’t listening. It shows you are listening and seems polite. Though he should’ve paid a bit more attention because the next thing he knew a fucking child was getting shoved into his arms.

They were so tiny that they could qualify as a child. So frail, too skinny, hair matted and looked too pale for their natural complexion. Horrified couldn’t even describe how he felt; he did not want to be holding this person, they looked so fragile and could be hurt so easily. Plus they were screaming and crying, still fighting to get out your captor’s grip, which was currently him. Distressed and crying people weren’t the most pleasant to be around especially when you’re a seven foot tall, socially awkward piglin hybrid.

Techno tried to return them to Puffy’s possession. She refused, pushing them further into his hold. She kept insisting that he let them stay with him, at least for a little bit. There was little time to prepare a place for them to stay and they needed the constant protection and some care. Techno kept arguing with Puffy, saying that he really didn’t want, need or have the time to care for them.

It wasn’t long when Puffy finally ended the argument with one phrase; “you still owe me an IOU.”

_______________________________________________

“So is this it,” Techno reluctantly asked, gently bouncing the slumbering stranger. It was and wasn’t surprising how worn out they ended up after the argument. Half-way through the arguing and accommodations, they finally calmed and soon fell asleep. Though they were violently shivering; this conversation couldn’t keep going like this. They both looked at them and looked back at each other.

“Yes. Please,” Puffy whispered, gently putting her hand onto their arm. “Please take care of them for now. You don’t have to care for them long. I just-i just need some time to set them up a place and some help. There were few options to go with and you were the best one.”

Silence settled over them once again. Techno sighed, building his resolve to care for another kid. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

Puffy awarded Techno with one of the most relieved smiles he had ever encountered. She was visibly relaxed, not holding herself up like a puppet who’s tense strings were being tugged. “Now get going Puffy,” Techno ushered. “I can take it from here.”

With that, Puffy started her trek back home, through the unforgiving tundra. As Techno watched her walk away, he wondered how she managed it. How she could carry someone the size of herself for god-knows how long.

He couldn’t ponder long. The person in his arms was still out in the harsh cold and definitely not dressed or prepared for weather like this. A very vulnerable position. With that, he opened the door with his foot and brought the two of you inside.

There weren’t many places to lay someone down. The floor was an option, but it was probably super cold. Techno wasn’t too sure, but he also didn’t want to risk it at the moment. Scanning around reveals a small issue; Techno’s reading chair is the only place to sit that isn’t the damn floor. Crackling fire brought his attention to the welcoming presence of the hearth. So either the floor with the fireplace or the chair which was a decent distance from the fireplace. Was it really a question at that point?

Walking over to the fireplace, Techno tried to disturb the person as little as possible. He started to slowly place them onto the ground. They wouldn’t really notice if they were as exhausted as they looked. When they touched the ground, they stirred and groaned at the change in temperature. Swiftly Techno place them on the floor and held his hands up; a way of saying “okay i’m not touching it so it shouldn’t break now- don’t break”. After a few moments of stillness, Techno deemed himself to be in the “all clear”. With that, he walked off to a different part of the house. He had to start setting up a room for his new guest. And get them food and proper clothing-

A ruckus from the living quarters disturbed him. Oh god what was going on now? Without much thought, he ran to the noise. When he arrived, he frantically looked around. He was looking for anything, but more specifically a danger. But it was much the opposite.

There, at his front door, trying to get out like their life depended on it, was that stranger. Well, it wasn’t a stranger. He couldn’t keep forgetting that. It was ______. Though it was hard to do that; they looked so different. Panic seemed to just possess them; their eyes were wide and bloodshot and their face was even paler than he remembered them in their pale state. Which was an odd statement but it was oddly true. He hadn’t thought that you could get any paler, yet here you are proving him wrong.

You two were in a stare off- trying to figure out what to do. It would be somewhat hilarious if the situation wasn’t so serious; a person trying desperately to get out of someone’s house in some of the most comical positions while a seven foot piglin just awkwardly stared from the other side of the room. The semi-trance was broken by you. Tears started to fall down your face, body started to violently shake, and then you started to try and destroy the door with your body.

Techno was holding you in a heartbeat. Once again, you were dangling and struggling to get out of his grasp. Last time it wasn’t his grasp you were trying to escape, but it was all the same in the end. Your crying soon reverted back to sobbing and screams. Flinching, Techno contemplated just dropping you. Yet he couldn’t; you were trying to escape and that wasn’t a good idea.

Carrying you around the house was a challenge; you were swinging what little weight you could and it was working. He barely got to the other end of the room before he got fed up with your little tantrum. Without a second thought, he just dropped you like a bag of potatoes. The moment you hit the ground, you scrambled to get as far away as possible. That leads you to a corner. You kept an eye of him yet curled up so much. He couldn’t tell if it was because you were cold or scared.

“Please let me go back.”

That catches Techno off guard. It was obviously you voice; he wasn’t talking and you were the only other thing that could talk here. Yet it didn’t sound like you. Your voice was now so gravely, scratchy and heavy. Like you hadn’t properly talked in a while. Though your crying definitely wasn’t helping. Even taking that into consideration, you sound way worse than someone who is just crying and occasionally screaming.

“Excuse me,” he mumbles, staring at you. Waiting for you to answer or proof that he was actually imagining stuff. It could’ve easily been a voice though-

“I said please let me go back,” you sniffled, turning to look at him more. Your eyes held such sadness, besides the tears. The yearning in them hurt. It was obvious you were missing something.

“Go back where,” Techno prodded. He tried his best to make it gentle so you wouldn’t close up again. So he slowly sat on the ground with you, scooting towards you as a pace you could easily stop.

“Back to my friends, obviously,” you stated, keeping a steady and guarded eye on Techno. “I want to go back home. Back to Tommy and Tubbo and Ranboo an-and Purpled.” Suddenly you started to cry much harder. So hard it was practically impossible to speak. Only hiccups and gasps left your lips.

“Let me go, I won’t bother you again.” You kept repeating that phrase. Even rephrasing it, but it was muffled. Well not muffled, but extremely hard to hear through your crying. Techno let you keep saying that in hopes you tire of it, yet it seemed to have the opposite effect. You only started to say it more clearly, louder, and more assertively. It was obvious you were bound and determined to go back to wherever the hell you were before.

“Hey kid,” Techno does his best to stop your babbling. The pleads had just digressed to nonsense, so it was more accurate to call that mess babbling. “I can’t do that.”

His answer wasn’t well received. It only made you sadder and madder; you even deployed the puppy dog eyes. You really wanted this.

“It’s not safe with them,” he reiterated. “You look sickly too. Did you not care for yourself with them?”

Silence consumed you; maybe now you were finally thinking more clearly.

A meek “no” left your lips. Realization seemed to hit you, at least somewhat. It was a step forward, and Techno was taking it wholeheartedly. Anything was progress and he just wanted this over. Some of the voices whispered that they wanted you to get better, but he ignored them.

“Then it’s settled. You’re staying here.”

[tootyfruities]

answering earlier than expected bc of a random burst of energy? couldn’t be me 🤭 nah but i actually feel kinda sad™️ rn and u make me feel better so here i am 🤞but OMGKEJFJWBFHE WHERE DO I EVEN BEGINNNNN

youcore fr bc you’re so smart and cool bae ugh your mind is everything OMGMGMGMM you got me wanting to jump through the screen to gently hold shin but also gently hold you bc KDNSJDDKDN the storyline fits so well and like,,,, suits him if that makes sense???? i’m absolutely HERE for this letter writing arc and im so fuckin excited you have no idea <3 <3 <3 (might inspire to make more playlists too, just for u <3) even despite all this, I can still feel his dorky and soft self and I JUST

there’s this cute comic from @/loweater of toshi using asl w bakugou and eri and if i can find it i’ll tag you :) OH and his dad being his therapist and all the other details about his family wE LOVE TO SEE IT 🗣🗣🗣 (this moreso relates back to the blog which we’re gonna get into- but i remember you writing abt his (3?)pet cats so just a little idea there for u :>)

last thing darling!! please please please don’t feel pressured to reopen that blog or talk to me constantly. getting a little more personal in 3, 2, 1~ for the longest time when u took your hiatus, i felt so bad and guilty bc I thought I was the reason and I took so much of your time and energy and I admit and apologize for being way more emotionally dependent than I should’ve been. things have changed now and im doing a lot better! i love and care for u vv much so pls don’t beat yourself up over it ok <3

wait no sorry THIS is the last thing I swear 😭 i was actually gonna msg u a couple days ago bc i actually had a dream abt the voicemail thing- long story short,,,,, i think i called shin back the next day, we said hello and i unexpectedly (to him anyway) asked him a question abt his new pet fish…??? OK before u think i’m crazy;;; i think it was smth that he had rambled abt in the voicemail and i was asking abt it just to talk and exist freely before getting into the Other Much Needed To Be Discussed Topics.

okay i went like way overboard im sorry 💀 ily forever my darling mwah <3

I NEVER GOT THE NOTIFICATION FOR THIS IM SO SAD :(

UHM 1) i hope you're ok w me answering this publicly w the more personal info shared, if not lemme know and i will, idk delete this post? that being said! between my own terrible unmotivation and personal issues, plus yes maybe a little bit with the emotional dependence, it just felt hard to keep up with the blog. but you were never, ever ever ever, a Big Bad in my life, never. overwhelming sometimes, yeah(BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR IT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW, OUR FLAWS MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER). but when i made the decision to close the blog it was not "riri makes things hard :(" it was, "things are hard and i gotta focus on myself :(". i appreciate and abs accept your apology though you are so cool and i am so so happy knowing that you're doing better <3

a bit of an extension on that;; i'm still deciding whether i wanna reopen the blog tbh. i've got a couple wips on there that i meant to finish but never did, plus small storylines i wanted to pursue thru shin's blogs that i can't exactly emulate thru I Am An Author Writing a Thing when it should be This Is A Guy Writing Stuff On His Tumblr Blog. plus publicly posting my writing is so rewarding to me :}

2) PLEASE DO JUMP THRU THE SCREEN and gently hold me n shin - woahoah we would both love that methinks. grrrr. i love you so much riri. no amount of poetic words can convey how much i love and adore you TRULY. you are a light in my life, i am happy and ready to have room in my life for you again :) <3

3) YOU DREAMED ABT IT AJFNNE. shin getting a fish... that would def clash with his, yes, 3 kitty cats. but also a calm pet that doesn't require love and affection? holy crap i shoulda considered it, that'd be way fitting for them,,, if not for the fact that fish are Slimy and shin likes Fluffy. in an alternate world where cats hadn't already stolen their heart, i can easily imagine shin getting into fish and maybe even lizards. he's got the range~

idk if i'm exactly gonna write what was said in the voicemail cos i wanted to leave that up to your interpretation, and tbh i'm GLAD for that cos your interpretation is great. muahaha

ilyilyily going to check out the mecore link now muah <3

[brw]

Tony Stark and Reed Richards for the character ask thing

TONY STARK

how i feel about this character: 😬 ngl i... don't care for him. at all. i don't vehemently hate him, there's definitely times where i appreciate him & his personality but it's few and far between and i... genuinely do not get the hype. i think its mostly mcu fans' fault for my dislike, its just he's fucking EVERYWHERE now, it's impossible to miss him? like he plays a big role in EVERY avengers comic now, he gets ongoing titles all the time, and it's just so frustrating especially when you consider characters who used to be more or less on the same level on them (like hank pym! who, by the way, has been dead for 6 consecutive years! that would never happen with tony!) or even more popular than him now get streamlined because of the mcu's popularity. by himself, i don't really mind him that much, but with how famous he is now and how large and frankly annoying his fan base is i just... now really do not like the character.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: short list here; reed, because i find their dymanic of reed as someone who does everything for his family and will do everything and anything he can to protect their interests above everyone else but also wants to keep his hands clean and believes, genuinely, in the good of the world, and tony as someone who will do horrendous things in the name of the greater good who always has the bigger picture in mind interesting. i also don't know a lot about it but he seems cute with rhodey? even if i think rhodey deserves a bigger chance to be his own character away from tony as is sometimes denied i can always appreciate a good best friends to lovers dymanic :)

my non romantic otp for this character: um? i honestly don't know 😭 i don't like him enough to say, i guess him n reed again? him n rhodey again? help 😭😭😭

my unpopular opinion of this character: he does not deserve the fame he has. like, i dont mean to sound jealous or whatever but pre 2007 movie he was not the most well liked character or even that popular. like obviously he had fans because he had solo series on and off for a very long time but it just feels SO ridiculous that tony stark has a bigger fandom than the fucking fantastic four. THE FANTASTIC FOUR. marvel's first superhero team, and yet??? like okay. he might have things to offer i don't see. he obviously does, i mean, he got three movies and multiple solo series. but he has most certainly not got enough as a character to overshadow the fantastic four, the x-men, etc and i will never forgive the mcu & mcu fans (and mark miller, he deserves blame too) for making it so. again, by himself he's fine but it is ridiculous to me that a one note white character that appeared in his third film (harley keener or... whatever) has 2000s more fics than THE PROTAGONIST OF INTO THE SPIDERVERSE, MILES MORALES. it is just... so vile and frustrating to me.

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: he didn't exist <3 jk jk um i'm not sure? i guess it would be funny if he was like... stick thin underneath the armour. like idk. he's in the armour 24/7 it makes sense to me for him to be a skinny little nerd under there. like completely fucking small. like you can't be a superhero AND be a billionaire and avoid all those taxes AND run the avengers AND run multiple massive corporations and still work out... even if you take away eating and sleeping there's just not enough time... it would be funny if he was just a tiny little boy underneath all that djndndbf

my otp: gonna say him and rhodey again. like i say, can never resist a good best friends to lovers dymanic.

my cross over ship: jdjshdhdh literally none i don't think about him enough to consider it <3

headcanon fact: 100% think he was the one to offer reed that money to star in a p*rno it's just so funny to me to imagine dhsnndnd

REED RICHARDS

how i feel about this character: HE'S MY BOY! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! like i guess it's paradoxical considering how similar he is to tony in some ways but man i just love reed so much. i so genuinely think reed richards is what tony stark fans want him to be. like they (mcu fans) make up elaborate headcanons of him being a good dad and an ethical billionaire and its like no that's reed richards? canonically he's gone broke bc he refuses to get money off his inventions... u have the wrong man... anyway he's also an asexual LEGEND i do not take criticism and ofc. autistic icon. literally he's so autistic it makes me <3 i love him dearly.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: it would be easier to list the people i DON'T ship with him lol. sue, obviously, victor ofc, and ben are the big ones, but i just LOVE his dymanic with t'challa and i think they would rlly work it... i also love the idea of him with namor, idk with victor it's just so funny to imagine reed as like. bizarrely attractive to rulers of foreign countries. blackagar faces the same problem <3 i also do believe him n hank pym dated in college for a bit... all their weird little microaggressions towards each other just makes me feel that way... again i do like him w/ tony and i made this weird au where he and emma frost got together which if prompted i WILL talk about. probably. more but yeah <3

my non romantic otp for this character: while i do LOVE them together as lovers i just love. benreed generally <3 like they're LITERALLY besties they love each other sm and i'm tired of pretending they don't????? so many people ignore this relationship and it makes me so sad!!! they're best friends they love each other fight for each other fight with each other theyre literally besties... smh put some respect on the benreed name 😤

my unpopular opinion of this character: i don't think this is that unpopular but it is in certain circles so! i genuinely think reed is the best marvel dad! like you can talk abt others all u want but the fact is that reed is the only character i can think of who has always been there in his kid's lives and has consistently put their needs first. like not saying other characters are bad but even at his worst writing he's always done his best for his kids and certainly has been full of love for them. other characters at their worse have. murdered their own kids <3 genuinely he's the best marvel dad and sure there's not a lot of competition but. yeah <3

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character: I WANT A CANONICAL AUTISM DIAGNOSIS NOW. literally he is SO autistic & there are... no big autistic marvel characters! at all! literally none! the closest we have is legion (who was written in an incredible ableist way and autism hasnt been used to describe him in a solid 30 years) and monet (and it turned out it wasn't monet but one of her twin sisters impersonating her :/) so it would just mean so much to see a canonically autistic character like reed who is older & has a wife and kids who he loves and who they love in return on panel. like so much of the rep we DO have is like, young kids or teens and idk an autistic adult would just mean so much to me. especially one like reed who is as selfless & loving as he is.

my otp: tie between doomreed and reedsue! any option that gets this noodle nerd lots of love i'm good for tbh

my cross over ship: him and ralph dibney from dc should date... they have so much in common... stretchy autistic man who's very smart and kind of silly who loves his wife sue who pegs him 🥴 they'd have so much to talk about sjbdhdhd also imagining the look on ben's face realising there's TWO of them is. so funny.

headcanon fact: he's aromantic he's asexual and neither of these stop him from his very meaningful & passionate relationship with his wife :)

assorted character ask game!

[transxfiles]

y’all i cannot express in words how excited i am for the new lumberjanes show to come out. 

i know a lot of folks on tumblr are hearing abt lumberjanes for the first time through the news tv show, but it’s based on a bunch of comics by lgbt creators, and those comics have helped me work through so much difficult stuff, and i don’t think it’d be a stretch to say that lumberjanes (and the current fandom around it) has actually saved my life. 

lumberjanes is a comic about a bunch of girls who go to a summer camp and solve mysteries and fight monsters and just hang out together and are best friends, and i love it so much. right off the bat, two girls are lesbians in a loving, healthy, caring relationship. the camp director is a butch lesbian. another girl is trans and her arc has nothing to do with being trans - she’s just one of the girls, and she’s trans too, and it’s part of her identity but she never experiences suffering around it. later on she helps a young nonbinary character realize that they’re nonbinary, and then the nonbinary character gets to join the girls at camp, and they’re so much happier there. there’s an entire section of panels about pronouns, but it’s juts a casual discussion, where one girl says, “what’re pronouns” and another says, “oh, they’re just words we use to describe ourselves, like ‘he/him’ and ‘they/them’ and ‘she/her’” and then the nonbinary character says “i'd like to use they/them pronouns please” and everyone accepts them. there are so many characters of color. there are so many diverse family groups (something we see in an arc where all of the parents get to visit their kids at camp for a day) including a girl who only has a mom, and a girl who has two dads, and a girl who has a mom and a dad and whose abuela lives with her family, and big families and small families and lots of siblings and only children. 

and lumberjanes is so sweet. it’s complex and well-written and absolutely hilarious, but it’s also so sweet and kind and soft and reading it feels like being hugged and handed a plate of homemade cookies. it’s about friendship and the complexities that entails. the entire motto fo the camp the girls go to is ‘friendship to the max’ and the story reflects that. and the girls get to be loud and goofy and wacky and wild, which is something we don’t see a lot in media. and they get to be soft and scared and sad, too, and then they get to grow from these experiences, and they get to learn and explore and be free. and that’s something i'd never really seen before, not represented in such an honest way. reading lumberjanes set me free. i found these comics in early middle school, when i was going through a really hard time both socially and with my own personal identity. i live in the bible belt, and i go to a school that isn’t accepting of lgbt kids at all. i'd recently been outed to my grade as lesbian by one of the girls in half of my classes, and in the meantime i was also dealing with my own personal gender struggles, specifically waves and waves of dysphoria that i was having a hard time understanding and defining, because i knew i didn’t want to be a girl or a boy, but i had no idea what that meant, and i had no idea that there was a third option, or a fourth option, or a fifth option, or thousands of options, because i didn’t really get the fluidity of gender, yet, and i didn’t understand that i could apply it to myself. but then i saw the characters in lumberjanes, i saw girls who loved girls and were proud of it, so incredibly proud of it, i saw kids who were realizing they didn’t identify with the gender binary and that they didn’t have to, and i do truly think that saved me. because there was a time when i was considering just ending it because i didn’t understand. and then i read lumberjanes, and it saved me.

and those are just the comics - the current fandom surrounding them has been so loving and caring and supportive of me ever since i joined it. we’re small - there’s only maybe forty of us, and the number of us who are actually content creators is so much smaller. when i first joined the fandom, we only had maybe twenty fics on ao3. now we have 93. i’m proud to say i’ve written fifteen of those, and i'm so, so happy to have found and talked with the people who’ve written the other 78. last year, when i started engaging with other lumberjanes fans online through tumblr, discord, and even the ao3 comments section, i was going through a really difficult time at school. it was my first year in high school and it was like the homophobia and transphobia were amped up to 200%, and people who i thought loved me left me, and so many of my closest friends had to leave the school to save themselves, and i felt so incredibly alone. so i said “fuck it” and i made a discord account and i started talking to some people i’d spent years admiring from afar. i spent hours goofing around with them, discussing fan theories and fanfiction and working through my personal life with them by my side. now, i consider them my friends. and i’ve picked myself back up again. i've figured myself out, for the most part, and i've got new friends and i’m staying in touch with old ones, and school is still awful now and again, but i have people who have my back. they saved me, and i don’t know if they know it, but they did. this fandom saved me. i love them so much. 

now, the lumberjanes show is coming out, and i'm so incredibly excited. the comics are niche. they don’t reach as many people. i know so many kids who are intimidated by comics, but don’t really know where to start, or who want to read them, but are scared their parents could find them. i understand that struggle. hiding a book is hard. you have to look for a space that you know no one can get to, under a bed or in a closet or in plain sight, with the cover of another book slipped over it. and so often, the risk isn’t worth it.

but hiding a bootlegged file of a tv show? that can be so much easier. 

i'm so excited to hear that noelle stevenson and possibly even other lumberjanes creators are going to be working on this show. i think that it will change lives, like the comics changed my lives. lumberjanes is a story about girls loving adventure, loving mysteries, loving each other. it’s beautiful and positive and uplifting, and in my case, lifesaving. i urge you all to please check out the comics. you won’t regret it. and please, support the show. 

i, for one, cannot wait to see it.

EDIT: you can 100% reblog this if you want to, whether you’ve read the comics or not!

[aspoonofsugar]

Hi...how are you? If you don't mind me asking, who are your top 10 favorite anime characters? And why you like them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....

Hello!

I am fine, thank you! I hope you are well too :)

Ok, I have answered similar questions here, here and here.

That said, my rule is that every time I am asked abt my faves, I will add new ones in an endless chain :’’’). So, actually thank you very much for this ask. It is always fun to talk about faves!

That said, my new “faves” are not all anime characters. Still, I hope you would still enjoy reading about them. I have mentioned some of them in this other list, but I have not explained why.

As usual, in no particular order.

1) Suzuha Amane (Steins;Gate)

She has my favourite story in the series. She is an example of why I think Time Travel can be enriching when it comes to characters and relationships, if well used. She is basically a child soldier from a bad future and seeing her enjoy herself in a peaceful time is delightful. At the same time, I love how she ends up being so important for different people in many different ways because of her time travels. She ends up being both daughter and friends, big sister and little sister, mentor and disciple of the same characters. She manages to experience many different relationships with the same people and this ends up making her story and her character beautiful. At the same time sad and hopeful.

2) Fragile (Death Stranding)

I have talked about her here. Fragile embodies one of the thematic hearts of Death Stranding imo. She embodies the beauty of humanity. A humanity who is fragile, but not that fragile. It is a humanity that specifically because it is frail is beautiful and must be protected. It is a humanity that wishes to reconnect and to build something new. A humanity who is frail, but not weak.

3) Yosano Akiko (BSD)

Yosano (together with Chuuya) has one of my favourite backgrounds in the whole series. Her background is great because it explores how a healing power can be used in a disastrous and utilitaristic way. It is also a story that highlights the strong link between death and life and how death is a part of life and also something that in specific situation gives value to life itself. In short, her story and character are incredibly complex and deep.

4) Mikasa Ackerman (Snk)

I have written about her multiple times. In particular, this is why I love her. Mikasa is for me an incredible refreshing character and her story and character moments are all all very beautiful and delicate, but also powerful.

5) Gabi Braun (Snk)

I like children characters that are also complex. Gabi is like this. She is a kid, but has a very well defined personality and you can clearly see why she is how she is at the beginning of the story. However, she is also challenged and is able to grow and to bloom. I like what her arc represents and her relationship with Falco is very cute. I also like that she is able to be useful in fights despite being a child and not having superpowers. Her ability are well fleshed out since the beginning and they remain as a constant throughout her story.

6) Emerald and Mercury (Rwby)

I adore them. They are the reason why I am currently so passionate about Rwby tbh.

They clearly represent two different sides of Cinder and are linked to the root of who she deep down is. Moreover, they are two very complex characters on their own rights and have opposite strengths and weaknesses.

Emerald is a child hungry for love who would even accept wasted food to try and fill that hole she has inside of her. She steals from others to feel whole, but she is never able to truly get what she wants.

So, she traps both others and herself inside complex illusions and refuses to use her (very powerful) gifts for others. Despite this, it is clear that she has an incredibly high potential to care... she fights her feelings, but they are very slowly resurfacing. She is a gemstone covered in dirt (I am the one, who rose out of filth and was loved by no-one) and her outfit clearly conveys this as well.

Mercury is a child who has been hurt so badly he thinks he can’t be anything else, but what his abuser told him he is. He killed his father, but is still very clearly stuck in a cycle he can’t escape and that will repeat itself forever, if he does not manage to change. Before there was his father, then Cinder and now Tyrian.

He very clearly lashes out at others because he feels he is less than them in a way (he has no semblance, he has lost a part of himself). However, it is clear he has within himself still the ability to care. He very obviously cares about Emerald and tries to protect her in a misguided way. His attempt to help her are honestly just heart-breaking. He wants her to be safe, but has no idea of what a safe environment is.

In short, Emerald and Mercury are very clearly two abused children, who react to their abuse in different ways. Mercury’s sense of self is so fragile he just kills it and tries to fit where he is, while Emerald develops her semblance aka that part of her she uses to hide her true self behind.

8) Allison Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy)

I love Allison’s powers and arc in both the series and the comics. I would love to write a meta about her eventually :’’’) Probably when TUA comes back and I feel motivated again. Anyway, I love that in the show her story is basically about her finding her authentic voice. She has lived a life made of lies and now she is trying to discover who she truly is and has trouble accepting her powers as a part of herself. Who is she without them? When should she use them? How? And won’t she disappear behind them if she uses them? How can she be herself with her powers? And how can she be herself wthout them?

What is true and what is not?

Allison’s arc is basically a very nuanced answer to this complicated question.

9) Five Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy)

Five is my favourite character of the series. I love him very very much. He is a tragic character because he is so active, but his actions end up creating more problems than solutions. To avoid the apocalypse he should simply spend time with his siblings and care for them as people, who he does, but often fails to convey to them. I also like how in both seasons his power are fundamental for the plot and are used in the finale to solve the conflict.

He spends the majority of season 1 doing everything alone and ends it, by choosing to bring his siblings with him.

Season 2 happens because Five aims too high (a mirror of how he always values the bigger picture instead than the small meaningful moments with his family). This is why in the finale he travels back of only some seconds, just enough to prevent the deaths of his loved ones.

10) Levi Ackerman (Snk)

I love that Levi is such an important character both in terms of plot and in terms of themes. I think the Serum Bowl is one of the hearts of Shinjeki no Kyojin and one of the moments where the theme of freedom and choice is explored in its more nuanced way.

11) Krel Tarron (Tales of Arcadia)

I love Krel’s development. It is subtle, but it is very effective. Krell deep down wants companionship, but uses his own bias to put distance between him and others, so that he can’t be refused. Seeing him defrosting and becoming warmer because of his friendship with others is great! And I love his dynamic with Aja and how the two sibling are complementary and grow in opposite directions. I really like their arcs and their complementarity.

BONUS: Cinder Fall (Rwby) and Viren (Tdp)

They are bonus characters because they are not faves on an emotional level. However, I really like how they are written and that they both form a complex trio of foiling with two kids characters (and the kids characters are in both cases faves).

They are both two complex villains with complicated motivations that tie in their own self identities. They are also very clearly not the final villains of the series, but are still pretty much at the centre of the conflict of their respective stories.

Thank you very much for the ask!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket 2019 ( ep,10)

So~ the episode started with a nightmare & ended with a dream.

Kagura:I have decided to force myself to ignore Kagura’s ( over that top comic relief with cartoonish exaggerations-Tom & Jerry like) behavior towards kyo & strip it down to its core. Toxic Forced Love. I found her way more interesting that way!. She beats him, chases him, & manipulates him all in the name of love. She’s either in denial & blind of his complete refusal of her or can really sees it but chooses to ignore it. I find both possibilities equally tragic. The fact that no one is pointing this out to her is even more tragic. Not for kyo’s sake but for her sake. I mean who’d point it out for kyo’s sake? yuki or shigure? none. But for her sake, isn’t there anyone around to tell her... u deserve to find someone who’d choose to love you for yourself not because he’s forced or you are his only chance of happiness. As cursed zodiac woman, kagura cant marry a non-cursed man, so she chose kyo..but kyo didn’t choose her. for love to be happy, it needs to be mutual. one-sided love is the most tragic type of hove.

Kyo:

-There is an element of secrecy when it comes to kyo. Although yuki wears many masks, he explains himself to tohru & the audience thro many monologues. We can infer that he was traumatized by Akito. But it remains to be known how & for how long. Kyo is the most straight forward with his actions & with others. but he doesnt complain to tohru as much & we never heard his inner talk. He had a nightmare that we didnt see. He had a flashback that was so fast & purposely vague... whatever happened, it destroyed him.. i didnt see what kyo saw in his nightmare..but i saw its effect.. he was so shaken that the only way to calm himself is to hug himself pending down in such a sad way... to me, it looked like he was torn to pieces & attempted to hold himself together..he was triggered by Kagura’s you are getting along with yuki. Then shigure’s why u talk like its your duty to hate yuki. Kagura thought she made a happy remark, shigure knew what he’s doing. Tohru’s it’s okay if u don’t get along with yuki shows how different she is from them all. She saw that his hate for yuki is a tool to protect himself.. something like a coping mechanism.. right know he needs to hate yuki for whatever reason. Kyo knows he’s not much in the right because he says I don’t want to see..I dont want to think..not yet..this really tells me it IS a temporary coping way & he knows it but he’s not ready to confront himself yet. I love that! because ppl need their own pace in accepting tragedy, yes, help is needed, intervention is needed..but mind their own pace/time. people differ in how they cope & when they are ready to heal. wrong & faulty coping mechanism are harmful but they are one step closer towards realizing you need to confront yourself, they act as a medium until you wake up.

- kyo’s behaviour with tohru changes in such small & slow steps. This episode, he agreed to go on a double date with the the most annoying people to him ( Kagura & Yuki), simply because tohru showed excitement at the idea. He pops tohru on the head after she comforted him..maybe to lighten the mood or take her attention away what he said or to say thank you..whatever..but it is so kyo to use action/body language instead of words. He sucks at those & can get frustrated..but he can express himself with actions or his body.

- the double date is anything but a double date! lol... Kagura in her bubble hugging a man who looks the other way, kyo in pain physically & emotionally, tohru thinking abt shigure, yuki getting so philosophical about metaphors & riddles..lol..I can safely assume there is no romantical love yet with these kids.

Shigure: is a schemer. He has no problem using someone as inncocent as toher..Why? who’s side he is? the dream part is confusing me.. I’ll think it over through the next eps.

[seijch]

hi im about to spam u (so sorry) but ive been too scared to read doomsday until now and im so glad i finally did becasue dude. Dude. its so much. "It’s as the sky bleeds from orange to pale blue that it hits." i loveeee how you incorperated such small moments like the hot chocolate and the ily + i know... be even here just the thought of your Last Sunrise is heartbreaking, but to /realize/ your own end coming in that moment, especially watching the soft sunrise... oof.

HI!!! omg when you sent this i was like . abt to sleep but i read this before i did and went irl 🥺🥺 and then also passed out before i could formulate a response sjfksdfds

anyway!! my response to your asks (i hope i got them all but!!) will be under the cut bc i dont know how to shut up ❤

a lot of the way the interactions in doomsday unfold are honestly BECAUSE tsukki and the reader are (i mean first of all, theyre tsukki and the reader with all that comes with) fully aware that:

they have abt a full day of life left

theres nothing that can be done to elongate that time or avoid death altogether

its not like some young adult novel where a group of ragtag teenagers save the world; its the tale of two adults who have had time to come to terms with the fact that their lives and the lives of everyone they know will end soon (and once again everything that THAT comes with). its why i rlly enjoyed juxtaposing the nice weather w the crippling realization of their own mortality 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

"you try to stress your words, make it absolutely clear that you’ve never meant anything like you mean this" this is HEARTBREAKING in a whole miryad of different ways - for a realtionship u establish as one with so many things unsaid but still understood, but here to have her say this so desperately?? like she feels this its too big to leave between the lines? it doesnt matter that he knows, she needs to say it and needs him to hear it UGH IM SAD AGAIN

IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THIS ONE OUT!! this is EASILY one of my favorite parts of the whole fic mostly bc its something i go thru a lot? like im the definition of that tweet abt never making any damn sense but ESP when it comes to my i love yous or other serious things...i say it a lot and yes i mean it every time! but sometimes i MEAN it and i never quite know how to properly express that kinda thing. 

i think its especially big for the reader in the context of the world ending and in the context of their relationship with tsukishima to have that moment of transparency and complete sincerity for the EXACT reasons you described!!!

"It’s hollow; neither of you have been under the delusion that this was anything but." u said u werent sure about his characterisation but this screams tsukki to me. cuz hes blunt and i dont think he would lie to himself about something like this especially. and even when she tries just for a moment to pretend, he just shows her /no, its ok, this is the truth and we have to die with it/... nah it vibes dude. hes such a interesting character for this idea too? because hes not sappy or anything +

so his tears hurt so much more... oof. "This is my goodbye, he says with more than words." this just... i have so many feelings about this. cuz to me hes totally someone who shows affection through small actions when he cant find the words to match his emotions? so this is like a 4-book-saga laying out his emotions cuz he doesnt quite have the words to say it out loud and theyre out of time. its desperate, but not sad desperate? like its the end but its just him making sure shes knows everything 

ok first of all THANK YOU for saying that bc i wrote him being more vulnerable than i think we rlly see in any tsukki not like ... in junior high LMAO and immediately after i felt my characterization alarms ringing ... like yk those natural disaster alarms? thats the vibe...

but i had one of those Moments where i was no longer the one writing and it was the characters themselves just telling me what to say and how to say it nsfsfsd so im rlly glad it worked! and tbh when the concept first grabbed me by the collar i was juggling a few different characters around in my head but i think i made the right choice in the end. its like you said -- hes not a particularly sappy type and hes always been more grounded in reality imo than some of the other characters (another contender for this fic was akaashi but i realized i do NOT have any solid grasp of his character that isnt from fandom interpretation which is a double edged sword tbh)

and honetly i was ok until "If you’re going to take me out, do it in style, you’d said to him, once. So he does." and then i was all of a sudden crying. and the "stripped down to your bare selves" like theyre just being incinerated together and IM- NO WRODS JUST FEELINGS. i think the best thing about this is how unrushed it feels? and it hurts and its aching but they Know. +

and theyve come to some form of peace with it so when it does come, they can focus on eachother and not the end oh im gonna cry again. this was so gracefully put together, thank u for this. i might reread it and cry again, amazing work 😭💕

i didnt touch on it above bc i wanted to do it here but yes!!!! the absolute fucking DESPERATION felt by both parties in that last minute (which idk if you read my tags on the fic proper but 11:59 was originally one segment before i took those last couple paragraphs and made them the very last second ... i think i made the right choice? it rlly does scream FINAL to me) is SO poignant. all of the walls and hidden meanings fall away because in the end theyre all they have left, dying in each others arms at the very end of it all.

this full REVIEW honestly made me so happy to hear esp on a piece i wasnt quite sure how to feel about at first,, thank you 🤝🏻🤝🏻 i hope you have/had a wonderful day!!!!

OK EDIT BC I JUST SAW THIS COMIC SOMEONE MADE ON IG AND ITS NOT THE MOST RELEVANT BUT ANSWERING THIS PUT ME IN A TSUKISHIMA MOOD SO HERE

[kimvvantae]

Umbra; 10

➜  being ruled by an ancient commandment, your sole purpose is to serve. you were born to protect the king with your life, tied by an everlasting oath; you are nothing but a shadow, a silent and insignificant being. he appears to you like the sun, the warmest and brightest star in the sky, and gives you a chance to live. it is then that your entire universe starts to orbit around this sun, and you decide that you are truly willing to die for him.

pairing: King!Taehyung x (f) hybrid!reader

genre: royalty au, fantasy, angst  

warnings: descriptions of violence, blood, death and mistreatment that might be triggering.

word count: 11k

A/N: i burned all of my braincells to write this chapter. but let me ask you sumn!!! i’m really curious to know what you think abt umbra. what was your favorite chapter/part so far? what do you think is going to happen next? let me know!

enjoy uwu

➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

"Dahyun, look at that- it's beautiful!"

"It sure is, Your Highness."

"Ah- what is this made of?! It shines so much!"

"It's just crystals, Your Highness."

"The color is so pretty- oh! Dahyun, look at this!"

A sigh. 

I stood some steps away, watching the scene repeating over and over again: Princess Sana seeing something interesting, gasping and dragging Dahyun by the arm to see it too.

I couldn't help but think it was comical.

We were at the principal market of the Capital - a huge commercial center in which you could find anything: food, handicrafts, clothes, even amulets and potions. The place is usually crowded everyday, but that day it was particularly full because of Princess Sana. Everyone wanted to call her attention, bring her to their establishments or simply talk to her. As expected of a royal, Sana knew how to deal with the public very well and with no apparent effort. She was doing a fairly good job - especially because, soon, these would be her subjects.  

I could see on their eyes how they were amazed because of her beauty and politeness. The simple fact that she was at the market was a surprise itself: royals don't usually interact with common people so easily. They weren't used to this kind of treatment. And Princess Sana has been in constant contact with them; she already visited schools, healing centers and even the Royal Orphanage. Her popularity was beyond good. Ëlvians had already fully embraced her as their Queen, although the wedding ceremony would happen just next week, and consequently her crowning.

"I can see why they are going to get married," I heard someone in the crowd say. "They are both good people!"

"And they are so beautiful, aren't they?" Another person said.

"Ëlv'en is in good hands!" One more exclaimed happily.

It was strange how I suddenly agreed with that.

After these two weeks of convivence, that gruesome feeling I used to have about Sana completely vanished. She was sympathetic, sincere and cared about others. Although she was born in a royal house surrounded by wealth, Sana was humble. She also knew the importance that her position represented and didn't seem to take advantage of it.

She was good.

I could not simply hate someone like her.

Jealousy is a word I have just learned recently. Apparently, my dislike towards her before was provided because she was in a position I secretly wanted to be in. But, as I learned more about Princess Sana, I could not let myself drown in my own selfish feelings. She truly showed to be capable of ruling Ëlv'en beside Taehyung. She also fully supported his decision to fight against slavery and revealed her want to forbid it in Vanaheim, too, as soon as she took the throne and became the Queen of her native land. As long as Princess Sana fulfilled her role as a good leader, then I had no reason to not support her marriage with Taehyung.

Although I still felt that there was a dagger buried in my heart.

We must do what's necessary for the greater good. Even if it hurts us sometimes.

And I knew that Sana's role hurt her deeply, too.

I watched as the princess dragged Dahyun by the arm.  

They were very careful and subtle. I doubted anyone else would notice. However, I could still feel that delicate sensation about the two, the way their auras were always in tune. Dahyun knew Princess Sana very well and vice versa. But I could also feel that deep sadness on them... their pain. I saw many moments in which they would stare at each other deeply... but then, as if being pulled by reality, they would avoid gazes and distance from each other. Dahyun was usually the one to break eye contact. In these moments, both auras felt like painted in blue.

I was unexperienced, but not stupid. I could understand what was going on.

Watch them was painful and... familiar.

But I was yanked out of my reverie as I felt a pair of curious eyes watching me intently.

I turned around to Princess Yeri. The girl blushed as she noticed I caught her and avoided my gaze.

"Was I being too obvious?" She asked.

"Yes," I admitted.

The girl huffed and crossed her arms.

"It's just that I still can't believe," she murmured. "Are you really the Royal Guardian?"

"Yes, Your Highness." I said, looking back to Sana as she talked to a seller, Dahyun looking tired of being dragged around by her side.  

"I didn't expect this," she admitted under her breath.

I quirked one eyebrow at her. Ever since Sana arrived, Princess Yeri spent most of her time with her - what consequently meant I was spending time with her, too. And I was doing the exact opposite of what my conduct code told me. Guardians shouldn't interact with their masters, which I did frequently with both princesses.  

My old me would pass out if she knew what I was doing. But I didn't care about it anymore. I was sure General Seokjin would have scolded me if he weren't so busy, but even if he did, I wouldn't care.  

Being honest, just the idea of someone being my master and simply telling me what to do all the time felt gruesome now.

"And what exactly did Your Highness expect?" I asked, side eyeing her.

Princess Yeri tilted her head. I don't know if it was because she was Taehyung's sister or because she was around Chuu's age, but I had an odd protective sensation about the girl.

"I don't know... I expected a tall man," she confessed.  

"Is Your Highness disappointed?"

"No," she was quick to say. "I think it's very cool. You should teach me how to use this sword anytime."

I looked at her small and delicate hands. "I don't think Your Highness will like it very much."  

"What? Do you think I'm weak?" Princess Yeri said, sending me a challenging glare. But as I was about to respond, a noise called my attention and I looked back to Princess Sana's direction.

A little girl, probably ten years old, have just fallen in front of Sana. I noticed the small deer horns atop her head. The girl gasped and looked up.

I saw the Princess trying to reach for the girl, but the she had no time.

A human-wall made of soldiers was around both princesses to prevent the public to get too close, and the little girl has just crossed this wall. One of the soldiers took the kid by the forearm roughly and lifted her up, making the girl gasp in pain.

"Get off the Princess' way!" He yelled, dragging the girl forcefully. Everyone watched the scene in silence and confusion.

I immediately felt anger boiling up in my blood. I stepped ahead, ready to stop the soldier's violent actions-

But Princess Sana was faster than me.

She touched the soldier's arm gently, but that single action made his action come to a halt. She looked up at him, expression hard with disapproval.

"It's just a child, soldier. There's no need to be so aggressive," she said, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Leave her."

The soldier had no other choice but do as she ordered. The little girl looked up at him, her eyes wide with fear, her little arm red because of the man's strong grip.

Princess Sana crouched down to her eye level and smiled gently. "Did you get hurt?"

The girl looked down to her feet and shook her head, her pigtails waving cutely at the action.  

"What's your name?" The Princess asked.

"Alice," the girl answered shyly.

"That's a pretty name, Alice." The girl widened her eyes in surprise, her cheeks immediately flushing in pink. Princess Sana then took something from her bag - a blue hairpiece she bought earlier today. "Do you like this?"

Alice nodded. "It's pretty."

Delicately, Sana placed the hairpiece in Alice's hair. The little girl seemed even more surprised. "Then, it's yours now. You look so pretty! Dahyun, give me a mirror!"

The crowd around watched that scene. Soon, I heard several sentences of approval and delightfulness at Sana's action:

"...she's good even to hybrids..."

"...did you see how she protected that kid?..."

"...she has such a good heart!..."

I couldn't help but agree with all of them.

Princess Sana was definitely the most suitable person to fulfill the Queen's role...

But another conversation caught my attention.

I only heard that because of my accurate senses. Two voices stood out in the middle of the others; they were speaking very quietly to not let anyone else overhear them.

"They think they can fool us with this cheap acting?" The person scoffed.

"See how stupid these people are? They are so gullible. They are already accepting this person as a ruler so easily."

"I doubt she will make any real changes for us." The first person lowered their voice even more. "But they'll see what's good. The only person capable of leading us is the chosen one."

This triggered an alarm inside of me.

I looked around, trying to find who the owners of these voices were. The chosen one. They knew about that rebellion. The rebellion that possibly tried to murder Taehyung; the rebellion that possibly sent that shapeshifter two weeks ago to watch us...

But there were too many people, too many faces. I could not distinguish the two pair of voices when there were so many people talking all at once – and couldn’t leave Princess Sana unprotected in the middle of the crowd to go after them.

I tightened my fists.

This situation was getting worse each day.

I couldn’t stop looking around as we made our way back to the palace. It was hard to focus with Princess Yeri talking nonstop (the young girl could be quite talkative when she wanted), but I still tried.  

Ever since the attack weeks prior, I had been careful to the point of paranoia. I was aware of my surroundings all the time, expanding my senses to the maximum my body could bear, and I could barely sleep at night. I couldn’t forget that wolf watching us outside of the palace.

It watched us in silence, but it was like it wanted me to see. It did it purposefully to let me realize we were being watched...

Clearly a threat.

However, that was not even what bothered me the most, what gave me sleepless nights. I couldn’t forget the fact that someone was able to attack my psyche so strongly it almost made me get crazy.

More than that; I couldn’t accept it.

I was a warrior. I was aware of all of my abilities and powers. Although I was trained to be humble my entire life and taught about the sins my species did in the past, I was always proud to be a dragon – even though it means I was a beast. I have trained for physical, magic and mental combats. A dragon guardian has to keep their minds completely blocked; what if the enemy finds a way to get inside our minds and collect information about our masters? That is why all of us went through an intense and painful training to seal our minds to the point that no one would be able to attack or control us.

But, only two weeks prior, someone was able to attack my mind in that level.

That attack would have been able to kill any human immediately. The damage it made on me was not permanent and I was able to recover quickly, yet it was still shocking. What kind of person was able to get into my mind that way?  

It angered me to the core.  

That person hurt my honor and pride. I promised that the day I put my hands on them, they would suffer. Whoever they were.

We walked back to the palace, where the princesses had some tea. Sana analyzed everything she bought, mostly handicrafts. She bought a gift to every one of her personal assistants. However, yet again, I couldn’t focus on anything of what they were saying. I was watching over Princess Sana for now, but I was still connected to Taehyung...

And I could still feel his troubling aura from here.

He was having another reunion with the Council - one of the many he had in this short period of time. To say the truth, "reunion" is not the right word - battlefield is more suitable.  

Heated discussions, exasperated people yelling from all sides. As expected, more than half of the Council was against Taehyung's wish to forbid slavery in the Ëlv'en. It would be easy if Taehyung could simply do whatever he pleased and sign any law he wanted to create, but that's not how things worked. To promulgate a law, he needed to have at least sixty percent of the counselors by his side... and that's not what happened.

I was busy watching over Princess Sana so me and Taehyung barely interacted, but I could still see on his eyes and demeanor his constant state of tiredness and anger. Yes, he was angry - very angry, to be honest, and I could understand why. He had to deal with all these prejudiced people. The idea of giving freedom to hybrids and seeing them having equal rights as humans seemed to be the worst thing possible to them. Even Taehyung - one of the most well-controlled people I've ever met - was beginning to lose his patience.

Some nights ago, I saw Taehyung sitting by himself in the gardens at night. I did not approach him - and I wish he didn't notice I was there as well - but he seemed so tired and overwhelmed. If I could, I would have sat by his side. I would have listened to his concerns. If I could, I would have passed my hands on his hair gently, I would have watched him close his eyes slowly and sigh in relief.

But I couldn't.

That was what hurt the most. I was so close to him, but at the same time, I was so far.

Their tea ended, and Princess Yeri had to (forcefully) go to the classes she has been procrastinating the entire day. I was ready to leave, too, and let Princess Sana by herself.

“Y/N, wait,” the Princess called as I was exiting.

I stopped on my tracks and immediately turned around to her. “Yes, Your Highness? Is there something you need?”

Sana nodded. She pointed to the armchair in front of her delicately. “Please, let’s talk for a while.”

Her ask was strange, but I did it anyway, sitting and waiting for her to start speaking. It was remarkable how different we were – Princess Sana, wearing a beautiful green dress, a delicate flower that overflowed femininity in everything she did; and me, wearing my usual black uniform with a sword sheathed on my hip. I never really cared about appearance, but comparing myself with Princess Sana on this matter was quite depressive.

“You have been Taehyung’s guardian for some time now,” she started softly, and the simple mention of his name made my stomach flutter with nervousness. Princess Sana never talked to me about him. “So, I assume that you may know him well at this point.”

I hesitated before nodding. Where this conversation was leading me to? “Yes, Your Highness.”

Sana exhaled heavily. She wasn’t looking at me, playing with the lace of her dress absently. “I know it is embarrassing, but... I still can’t understand him.”

“But Your Highness has been spending a lot of time with His Majesty lately,” I commented, slightly confused.

“Yes, but... he is so unreadable. Taehyung is very polite towards me and we talk about many subjects, yet... I feel that he is not opening up to me. I don’t blame him, though, because this situation is hard to deal with for both of us, but I think that to make things work I must understand him more.” She then looked up at me and smiled. “That’s why I’m asking for your help.”

I narrowed my eyes, confused. “I’m afraid I still did not understand...”

“Tell me what you know about him,” Sana explained, gesticulating. I scratched the nape of my neck, feeling somehow uncomfortable and even more confused.

“But, Your Highness... I don’t know what to say,” I admitted. Princess Sana giggled softly.

“What are his habits? What’s him like? I mean, the real Taehyung. How is he behind the mask?”

I shifted uncomfortably, not exactly sure of what to say. Sure, I knew Taehyung very well at this point – but where to start from? I thought for some moments.

“He’s scared of heights,” I said suddenly. Not exactly the most useful information, but Sana seemed surprised.

“Is he?”

“Yes. A lot. And... he loves chocolate.” I thought for some moments. Princess Sana nodded, encouraging me to continue. “He is very kind with everyone around him. He is also very well-controlled, however he can’t hide it when he doesn’t like someone. He prefers winter than summer and his favorite colors are purple and blue. He likes kids and, honestly, can be very childish sometimes. And... and his favorite fruit is strawberry. He speaks more than three languages, loves traveling and hates being in a single place for too long; he is a free spirit. Although he is very friendly, he doesn’t trust people easily. He is fair, has a strong sense of justice. And... he tries hard to hide his feelings, doesn’t like to show his weaknesses, but... he still has fragilities. Sometimes, he just needs someone he trusts to let it all out. Taehyung, he is- he is good.”

I had to interrupt myself abruptly when I noticed I said his name out loud. I coughed, shifting uncomfortably again, feeling embarrassed.

“I’m sorry. I... I got too carried away...”  

“It’s alright. You sure know him very well.”

For the first time, I had the courage to look up at Princess Sana.

She looked at me in a way I’ve never seen before. She wasn’t angry at me, wasn’t judging me. But from her gaze, I could tell...

She knew.

More than that; Sana understood me.

In that moment, I couldn’t bear being in her presence anymore. The fact that I was so obvious in front of her made me flustered to the core. Princess Sana was his fianceé; that situation was anything but normal. I coughed again, feeling a heat make its way up to my neck.

“I-I apologize, Your Highness, but I need to leave.”

“Alright. Thank you for your help,” she said softly, but I was already getting up and bowing respectfully.

I almost ran out of her room.

How stupid was I being?

I watched as the woman fell to the ground with a grunt, blood spilling from her wounds. She looked at me with wide eyes full of panic.

I placed the tip of my sword at the base of her neck. She was frozen in place, shivering.

“I said you shouldn’t try to fight me,” my voice sounded quiet, cold and hard as stone. The woman shivered.

“W-What do you want from me?” she stuttered, voice shaking.

“I just need you to keep quiet.”

With a simple gaze, I entered her mind.

Her mind was weak and unprepared; she offered almost no resistance to me. A slave merchant. Her ability to shapeshift was hereditary, but she never really treasured this ability. She gained wealth by stealing hybrid children from their families and selling them as slaves.

But there was nothing in her mind that indicated that she was involved with Taehyung’s attempted murder.

I left her mind, exhaling heavily in disappointment. The woman blinked, dizzy, and stared up at me. “D-Did you just ent-ter my mind? What do you want from me, demon?!”

I sheathed my sword and looked back at her. “I want you to forget everything about our encounter.”

And she immediately fell unconscious after hearing my order in dragon language.

I turned around, heading to the entrance of her mansion. All of the guards and maids were laying on the ground in different positions after I put them all to sleep, so the place was silent. Humans’ minds are so fragile, so easy to command. I crossed the large gardens of the property, the night breeze playing with my hair. I stretched my wings slightly, the two cuts in my shoulder blades still burning a little. Since I have been transforming into my dragon nature quite frequently, it did not hurt much as it used to.

The sun would rise soon, what meant I had to leave. But not before doing something...

I stopped in front of the huge shed and held the big padlock that also contained a sealing spell; my hand gripped it tightly, and the iron object started to melt. The entire building shone with a sickening green light for a second, indicating the spell was broken.

The doors were pushed open.

All the hybrids inside gasped in unison; some girls yelled, all of them flinched. They stared at me with fear. There were dozens of kids and teenagers.

I stepped inside and simply said: “Go.”

None of them moved, their gazes shifting from scared to confused.

“What are you waiting for? Go before the guards wake up,” I repeated more firmly this time. “You all have to leave the property and don’t stop running until morning comes. You must go down the hills in the North direction. Avoid big cities like Györi, because there are too many soldiers there. You still have some time before the spell fades away, so I advise you to take some supplies from the mansion. Come on, you won’t have another chance when the sun rises!”

Immediately, they started to run out of the shed. They ran past me, some of them stumbling in their hurry; the older ones took the younger ones by their arms and led them out of the building. I stood there, holding the door opened, and waited for them to exit, watching as well as they entered the mansion from far and went out of there with food and other supplies on their hands.

I heard many “thank yous!” and “may the elves bless you!” directed to me as they wan away; some of them were weak and dehydrated, but seeing their smiles of incredulity made a good feeling grow inside of me. They didn’t approach much, though, scared of me. Although my dragon nature is not much different from my human form, I know it is an unusual and imposing sight that make many fear me.

That is, until I noticed there was a pair of eyes looking at me from below.

A little girl, probably six years old, stared up at me in awe.

“Are you an angel?” she asked, astonished.

A smile creeped up on my lips. Just some minutes ago that woman called me a demon...  

“No,” I said softly. “I am just a shadow.”

The girl smiled. “Thank you, Miss Shadow!”

With that, she ran away towards a group of older hybrids.

I stayed there until I was sure no one was left behind, until I saw the last of them disappearing down the hill. It was sad that I couldn’t provide more support to them, yet freeing these kids was the first step; I knew that if they followed my instructions, they would arrive at a hybrid village hidden in the woods.  

And then, I was the only person awake in the property.

I took the piece of paper from my clothes and unfolded it – the list Jimin gave me, and scratched the seventh name; the last one.

Yggrite Brzenski

I have visited each of the seven on the list, and none of them were involved in Taehyung’s attempted murder or were the wolf watching us that night. I already expected it, though; someone that tried to kill a King wouldn’t be foolish enough to let their name registered at the Tower. This story just got more and more complicated.

There was also the fact that this person could be involved with the rebellion Jimin talked about, but I couldn’t jump to conclusions yet. This rebellion has been intriguing me ever since I talked to Jimin about it – and after paying much attention, I heard people talking about it, not only that day at the market with Princess Sana. At the palace, the workers would whisper to each other when there was no superior listening. It’s not as if any of them were involved in it, though; the times I heard were always people criticizing Taehyung or the marriage and doubting the changes he said he would make, and saying that the rebellion was the only solution for hybrids in Ëlv’en.

I also heard the words the chosen one many times...

I even tried to get into someone’s mind to achieve more information, but they really didn’t know much about the rebellion’s next steps or who was leading it. Therefore, I could not just keep entering people’s minds that way. It is intrusive and extremely disrespectful; I just entered one’s mind as a last effort. Moreover, enter someone’s mind is dangerous. Even if I tried to be delicate when doing it, the action could break the person’s consciousness to the point of madness or cerebral death. My existence is too strong for a common human or hybrid to bear. Whenever I checked people’s minds when doing my interrogations, I wouldn’t go farther than just scratching the surface of their consciousness. I didn’t want to kill anyone by accident.

I flew back to the Capital, all these thoughts troubling me. I had a strange feeling that has been growing these days; it felt as if staring at heavy, dark clouds approaching, hearing the thunders from far, knowing that soon the storm would fall upon my head. Something was about to happen, and I had to be ready.  

Or, perhaps, it was just my sadness increasing because of the wedding ceremony.

It would happen the next day.

Each day closer to the ceremony felt like a different arrow being buried in my chest. I had to watch the palace being decorated, the Capital becoming even more crowded than it was during Dökkálfar, special guests arriving to witness the wedding. I had to watch Princess Sana trying her beautiful wedding dress for the first time. I couldn’t even look at her in the eye ever since I stupidly exposed myself in front of her.

The only person I didn’t see much was Taehyung himself, but for that I was grateful. It would just add to the pain.

Not even my tight routine helped me to distract myself. I visited each seven from the list during the night, when both Taehyung and Princess Sana were at the palace and safe, sometimes flying long hours to reach my destinations, what gave me many nights and days without any sleep. But working to the point of exhaustion was not working. Instead, I just felt sad and tired.

I was so tired of being sad.

Just the sight of the palace appearing in my vision already made my shoulders weight heavily. At least when I traveled, my connection with Taehyung weakened a little bit and I could let myself forget for some moments of what was about to come. At the palace, though, every place and person reminded me of him and the wedding.

I landed in the middle of the forest which bordered the palace, where I could shift back into my human form unnoticed, and walked back inside the colossal building. It was barely six in the morning, however no one was sleeping; workers running from side to side to make the last adjustments; the cooks worked like crazy to get all the food ready in time, chefs yelling orders and rushing everyone. The Royal Family invited around one thousand official guests, but millions of subjects came to the Capital to watch the ceremony and cheer for their new Queen. People came from all parts of the continent, especially from Vanaheim, Princess Sana’s native land.

The security system has been reinforced; powerful spells protected the palace, amulets were hidden everywhere, soldiers patrolled the city day and night. It was somehow a relief to me, but I could not let my guard down. Spells can be broken and humans are weak. If something bad happened, I would be the last barrier between Taehyung and the danger.  

As always, no one noticed me walking towards my room. The day before the wedding ceremony was free to the bride and groom, so they could rest before the great day. It didn’t mean I was free, though; I had to check up on each spell of the palace, but I still had two hours left.

I entered my room and closed the door, exhaling heavily. I didn’t know if I was ready. I knew that this marriage was the right thing to happen for both kingdoms, but the thought of Taehyung marrying Princess Sana was too painful for me to even picture – watch in person would be unbearable.

I threw the sword carelessly over my bed and was about to change clothes. I hadn’t even talked to Taehyung all this time. Things between me and him were so unsettled – I didn’t even understand yet if a “thing” between us even existed. I missed the times when we were traveling, when we became close, when the wall that kept us apart seemed to be inexistent-

“Did you miss me, Y/N?”

I turned around immediately with a jump, completely started.

My eyes widened, my lungs failed.

“Hoseok?!”

The red-haired man looked at me, the usual mischievous smirk on his lips, a somber gaze shadowing his features. He was leaned against the door casually, as if his presence in my room was the most normal thing in the world.

“Oh, I see you’re very excited to see me,” he said, quirking his eyebrow suggestively. I felt my cheeks burning, readjusting my shirt again. I was about to take it off when he appeared – but fortunately, he didn’t see much. My heart was beating way too fast; I was so confused.

“How are you-?” I was about to ask, but then I finally noticed.

He was with me, but at the same time he wasn’t. Well, at least not physically.

“It’s not my fault that we have a mental connection,” he said, shrugging absently. “It was pretty hard to come here, by the way. You blocked our bond so well. Why did you do that, love? You don’t appreciate my presence?”

A scowl of disgust distorted my features. “Don’t call me like this.”

“You don’t like it when I’m rude, but you also don’t like it when I try to be sweet. Why are women so complicated?” He tilted his head to the side, voice spilling sarcasm.

“I don’t like you at all,” I snapped, crossing my arms. It has been such a long time since Hoseok contacted me through our connection. “What do you want?”

Hoseok’s smirk accentuated as he approached me slowly, stopping right in front of me. Although his presence was only telepathic, it was so real that I could almost feel his scent.

I didn’t like him so close to me, even though he wasn’t with me physically. Partially because I hated him, and also because I could not deny the fact that Hoseok was very attractive. I always thought he had a good appearance, but due to my conduct code, I brushed this attractiveness to the far corner of my mind. Actually, his good appearance was what made or deal feel less disgusting. Now, I didn’t care about conduct codes anymore; I couldn’t deny that his presence so close to me made me feel uneasy.

It was different of what I felt with Taehyung, though. I liked everything about Taehyung. With Hoseok, only his appearance attracted me – nothing more.

“I came here to remind you that you’re reaching the full adulthood next week,” he said, the mischievous grin never leaving his lips.

I gulped, avoiding his gaze. I actually forgot about it.

“And, surprisingly, you seem to have really forgotten,” he scoffed.

“I have been busy. How would I remember about it?” I retorted, looking at him again.

“I know. The wedding.” Hoseok lowered his gaze to my eye level. “But the wedding is tomorrow, and our deal happens next week. I hope that you at least prepared to it.”

And I avoided his gaze again.

Hoseok’s grin disappeared.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t explain it to your master yet.”

I didn’t answer.

Hoseok huffed, anger immediately hitting him. “Y/N, what’s your problem? Did you forget how important this is?!”

“I didn’t have a chance to say anything!” I tried to defend myself. “M-Maybe we could delay it for a couple of weeks-”

“You know we can’t. Unless you want to die. I'm saying this for your own sake,” Hoseok warned, expression hard, his voice giving me no room for protests.

I sighed, feeling completely defeated. I knew Hoseok was right; I should have explained it to Taehyung a long time ago. I should have told him about this since the day we met at the dungeons.

“What happened to you, Y/N? Since when you became so weak?” Hoseok questioned, eyeing me oddly. “I can see there’s something different about you. When you were King Taejun’s guardian, you would not have wavered over such a simple issue.”

“Simple?!” I looked up at him again, starting to feel annoyed. “This has never been an easy issue to me, Hoseok. I am the one that might end up dying, not you.”

For a second, I saw Hoseok’s gaze shifting. It was only for one second, too brief – but I saw a shadow of concern on his eyes. But it was only for one second before his eyes became hard again and he scoffed.

“Well, as a Royal Guardian, you should be used to the idea of dying. But I think you’re just a coward, since you delayed your own death by becoming King Taehyung’s guardian.”

I felt such a strong wave of anger that even Hoseok’s image wavered a bit. I was sure that he felt it on his own skin.

“I swear – next time we meet, I will kill you,” I said between gritted teeth.

The grin reappeared in Hoseok’s lips. “I am looking forward to it, love.” He approached one more step, now standing dangerously close to me. I could feel the heat radiating from his body. Our bond was so strong that even our bodies were connected. “In fact, I think we could train a little bit before the big event next week. If you completely unblock my connection with you, you’ll be able to feel me physically...”

Hoseok was about to touch my face, but I slapped his hand away and pushed his chest. A freezing shiver ran underneath my skin; the feeling of touching someone that isn’t even there is strong and nauseating. Our brains were projecting how would it feel like if we were actually in front of each other, barely a ghost of reality.

“Get out of my mind,” I ordered angrily, making Hoseok chuckle darkly.

“You can’t keep avoiding this forever, love.” His voice then got only slightly more serious. “I don’t know how you’ll make it, but you have to tell your master. You must be in Niflheim next week.”

“I know,” I said weakly, because as much as I hated it, Hoseok was right. “I’ll be there.”

And again, for the briefest of the moments, I saw a flash of something more in Hoseok’s eyes. They softened, only for a moment.

“Don’t worry, love. It won’t be as bad as you think. To be honest, you’ll like it very much.”  

“I told you to stop calling me this way,” I said angrily again. Hoseok just chuckled.

“Well, unfortunately, I have to leave. See you next week, Y/N.” He looked at me intensely for some moments. “I’ll be anxiously waiting for you.”

And, with that, his image faded away.

I was quick to seal our connection strongly again. How inattentive was I being all this time to loosen the block so much that Hoseok simply slipped into my consciousness? I have always been very careful to not let him do it. Although it was not his fault that our minds were connected, Hoseok liked to provoke me. When we were younger and I didn’t know how to seal our bond, sometimes he would even appear in my dreams just to make me angry.

I sighed heavily and sat on the bed, holding my head in my hands. What was I going to do? I did not have the courage to explain it to Taehyung. But, as Hoseok himself said, we had no time.

The situation only got worse and worse...  

In that exact moment, realization hit me like a rock.

I widened my eyes.

Someone was able to attack my mind. The sealed mind of a dragon. I kept asking myself who could be so powerful to do so...

But Hoseok has just slipped into my mind so easily minutes ago. Yes, we had a connection, but still – that was not an easy task.

Pure adrenaline rush through my veins.

The person that attacked my mind was either Hoseok... or another person as strong as him. And the only one able to match the power of a dragon is another dragon.

A brother of mine was involved with Taehyung’s attempted murder.

I couldn't think of anything else in the next hours. I almost forgot about the wedding.

As I made inspections in the protective spells, my mind was a turmoil. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure: another dragon attacked my mind.

But who?

I knew all of my brothers by name. Hoseok, Yuta, Chanyeol and Minho - we were the Five Guardians. There were eight kids currently training in Niflheim, but they were way too weak and unexperienced to be able to attack my mind that way. And there were also two female dragons there - but since they did not receive the same training as us, I knew they wouldn't be able to attack me.

So, who could it be?  

Hoseok and I already had a connection, so he could supposedly be the culprit, but that I doubted highly. I would have recognized his presence in my consciousness immediately if he were the attacker. Therefore, I knew Hoseok way too much; he had an impeccable behavior his entire life, always following the conduct code and he was very proud to be a Guardian. As he already said multiple times, nothing was above his honor. There was no possibility that Hoseok would simply join a rebellion. I also doubted it would be Yuta, because I would have recognized his aura as well.

What should I do? My only choice was to visit each dragon; feeling their presences and auras could give me a hint. But I didn't know how I would make it. Three of them were guardians and the rest were all in Niflheim, and I couldn't go to the mountains again without permission...

But I would have to go back to Niflheim next week, isn't it? And I had permission to do so. Maybe the, I'd be able to find more information…

I inspected every corner of the palace, checking if the spells were working the way they should – and apparently, everything was fine. I checked everything more than once, doing as my superiors asked. This time, I couldn't be upset at them; the Capital was impossibly crowded, so being careful was the expected. By the time my inspections ended, the sun was already disappearing in the horizon.

When I finally had a little bit of free time, I searched for Yoongi. Fortunately, he was taking a break, too. We sat far from the mess that was the kitchen; although I don't usually get tired easily, I couldn't help but feel my eyelids becoming heavy. There were too many things for me to deal with all at once...

"They want us to wear this ridiculous uniform," Yoongi whined for the hundredth time, a pout on his lips.  

"But you're going to work as a waiter, right? Of course you'll have to dress accordingly."

"Yes, but that white uniform is ridiculous. I look like a clown in that. What were they even thinking?!" He crossed his arms, upset.  

I smiled softly. I smiled softly. But, as I was about to reply, we heard the noise of something breaking loudly in the kitchen.

We both looked in that direction, startled.

We both heard someone yelling, "Chuu!"

We both got up at the same time and ran in to the kitchen.

All of the workers had stopped to watch what happened, and my chest immediately tightened. Chuu was crouched down in front of a pile of porcelain shards, trying to collect them weakly. Why was that scene so familiar?

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry-" she stuttered.  

"Sorry?!" Martha yelled, watching her from above, red anger on her eyes. "I am tired of hearing your apologies! You are a disaster! Look at what you did! Get up!"

Chuu trembled slightly, doing as she said, tears already watering her eyes. Everyone watched, but no one moved do help her.

The thing Chuu hated the most was being watched as she was humiliated...

"Ma'am-"

"Shut up! This time, I won't forgive you!"

In my eyes, the scene happened in slow motion.

Martha, with her features distorted in anger, lifting her hand, ready to slap Chuu's face violently.

Chuu flinching, preparing to the aggression.

I remembered that I saw her going through a similar situation months ago, when Chuu spilled tea in Taehyung's clothes. Back then, Yoongi was who tried to intervene, but I stopped him and dragged him away. Back then, I thought that we should never go against our superiors, even when we were right and they were wrong. Back then, I used to be the person that would be punished without saying a word, always keeping my head down, always obeying, always doing what others wanted before considering what I wanted. I was the submissive person that agreed with everything bad. I was the person that watched my friends being humiliated without doing anything.

But the person I used to be has died.

All of the bad feelings accumulated inside of me for the past days seemed to explode in that moment. The moment I saw Chuu closing her eyes tightly in fear. The moment I saw Martha ready to slap the face of one of the people I cared most in the world.

I refused to be that person again.

Martha looked at me in shock when I held her arm tightly.

"What-?"

When I pushed her, the woman lost balance completely and fell to the ground, taking an entire table with her.

Everyone gasped.

Chuu looked up at me, shocked.

"You don't touch her like that!" I yelled, making Martha flinch.

She looked at me. "Who are you to give me orders, slave?!" She said, however her voice lacked strength. Most workers around me didn’t know what I am, but she knew. And because of that, she feared me.

I stepped closer. "I am the person that will punish you if you don't leave this palace immediately."  

Martha froze. But she was too proud. The woman got up and looked at me. "I will make sure to tell your superiors about this!"

"Do it." I stepped even closer, making Martha step behind. I let all of my anger flow through my gaze, all of that fiery sensation burning in my guts. Fear as clear as the morning sky was evident in her eyes. "Go, tell them. I don't care. You're not stronger than me, neither are they. I want to see you try."

Slowly, I felt the hybrids around me being filled by my speech, like oil being thrown in a fire pit. They started to murmur things in agreement; I felt their hard feelings being fed, satisfaction and ager taking over them - because someone was finally doing what all of them wanted to do, but no one was brave enough to do so.

As I approached, they approached behind me, too, closing a tight circle. Martha was forced to step back. Slowly, we were kicking her out of the kitchen - out of the palace.  

"Y-You'll pay for this!" She said, eyes filled with panic. She saw all the people she always humiliated standing against her, all the hatred she had caused.  

"You will pay the consequences if you don't leave. Now." My voice was menacing, my fists tightened.

But cowards don't need to listen twice. Martha turned around and started to run, a small crowd runnings after her, screaming and cursing her. Soon, the commotion had gathered more and more people that watched the hated superior run away hopelessly until she was out of the palace, screams of triumph and victory leaving their lungs.

I looked around to all of them. They held the same smiles and happiness I saw in these hybrid kids earlier that day; the same satisfaction.  

Yoongi stared at me in shock.

From far, I saw Jungkook showing a mix of shock and similar satisfaction.

I remembered his words from times ago; if you have the power to change it yet you chose to do nothing, then yes, it is your fault!

He was right.

I could not keep seeing such things happening right in front of me and doing nothing to change it when I had the power to do so.

"Listen well, all of you!" I said, calling all the attention. They went silent, waiting for me to speak. "This kind of behavior - it can't no longer be tolerated. It doesn't matter if the work-policy changed if they don't change as well; they do not have the right to treat us like this, they never had, but now more than ever - they will never again. We won't tolerate be treated like slaves anymore. We are free. And if they don't want to accept it - we will make then accept it!"

And everyone around me started to scream.

They applauded, shouts of support coming from all sides. The old me would never do something like this; a guardian is supposed to be a shadow.

But I was tired of being invisible.

Both Yoongi and Chuu watched me in silence, too shocked to react. The two people I cared about the most.  

They were more than friends; they were my family.

They gasped when I simultaneously pulled them into a hug.

"Yoongi, you were right. You were right all along... About everything. I'm sorry for not listening to you before," I said, my voice sounding muffled. "Chuu, I'm sorry for never protecting you before. I'm sorry for being such a bad sister."

Chuu sniffled, tears already trickling down her chubby cheeks. "S-Sister?"  

I nodded, hugging her tighter.

The old me hated physical contact; this kind of touch, though, filled me with joy and warmth.  

“L-Look, I’m sorry for destroying this heartfelt moment,” I heard Yoongi saying, trying to sound unbothered, but his voice was wavering slightly and he wiped his eyes quickly, what made me smile. “But you know that you just made a mess one day before the royal wedding, right?”

He was right. No one was working anymore. I saw guards approaching quickly as they heard the loud commotion in the service area; they looked around, confused, and started to yell words of order.

“What is going on? Who started this?!” I heard General Seokjin’s voice shouting.

“I did,” I said immediately, approaching him.

Everyone went silent, watching the scene. We stared at each other. General Seokjin seemed about to explode.

“And what right did you-”

“A person in a leadership position was breaking the rules from the work-policy and about to punish a worker with violence,” I cut him before he could say anything, what just made him more exasperated. “All I did was prevent it to happen. As one of the highest ranked members of the Royal Guard, I am sure Sir General knows I have the power to do so.”

I always had the power to do so, but you acted as if I couldn’t, as if I had no privileges and no rights.  

“Your duty is exclusively towards His Majesty. You can’t just get involved in situations that has nothing to do with you and think you won’t be punished afterwards.”

“You’re right,” I crossed my arms. “But before deciding any punishment, you have to tell about my ‘misbehavior’ with my superior. And that is the King himself. So, please, Sir General, go ahead and tell him. Tell him what I did.”

There was a mix of pure anger and complete surprise in General Seokjin’s eyes. I never dared to speak this way – so blatant, so challenging. I was not afraid to face Taehyung. I was not afraid of anyone.

General Seokjin had to swallow his own anger and his will to punish me physically – something he couldn’t do anymore – and nodded. “I will make sure to let him know about this. All of you, back to work! This is not your free hour!”

Slowly, the commotion dissipated and the workers went back to their tasks – however I knew that these minutes already delayed the work very much. I didn’t feel guilty for what I did, though. General Seokjin sent me a last menacingly glare before he turned around, probably heading directly to Taehyung’s room, ready to accuse me of insubordination.

I didn’t care.

Darkness already blanketed the Capital as I left the service area heading to the gardens, feeling overwhelmed. I wanted to be alone. Oddly, that anger still didn’t let me; my fists were tightened, my breathing heavy. I felt mad because of everything: the person that attacked my mind, my deal with Hoseok, the way I has been always treated my entire life, the suffering of my race, my feelings for Taehyung – the man that could not be mine, the man I would have to watch getting married the next day.

I was definitely not ready for it. But Taehyung would come to see me. I knew it.

I waited for him to come, the cozy nightly breeze embracing me. It was annoying how the weather felt perfect, and the next day it would, too – the perfect weather for the perfect wedding. At least I was alone in that moment – finally alone. I could hear the sounds of the busy palace and the crowded city, but the garden was quiet, the calming sound of the breeze touching the grass and leaves, crickets singing here and there, eventual fireflies glowing in the dark.

And come to see me he did. I got up from the bench the moment I saw his figure appearing, and the fact that my heart immediately started beating faster annoyed me. He approached me at heavy steps, eyebrows set, his entire expression as hard as stone.

He was mad.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Taehyung questioned the moment he was close enough, crossing his arms. No greetings, no velvety voice. No; he was angry because I made a mess the day before his wedding. It was the first time I saw Taehyung mad at me.

It made my chest hurt even more.

“There was no way for me to tell you, it happened too quickly at the kitchen and-”

“I’m not talking about what happened at the kitchen.” he interrupted, voice sharp. “I’m talking about your deal.”

And for a moment, it was like I lost the ability to speak.

I stared up at him, utterly shocked, eyes wide and jaw dropped. I was expecting him to be mad at what General Seokjin told him, not this - and it managed to disarm me in a matter of seconds, all of my confidence gone. No. It can’t be what I think it is...

“W-What- Who told-?” I stuttered, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Gilliard told me.” Taehyung said, his voice so uncharacteristically mad it made me feel uneasy. Of course, that old hateful man was who revealed my secret before I could.

“Your Majesty, I... I didn’t have the chance to explain...” I stupidly tried to explain myself.

“You didn’t have time to explain something like this?” Taehyung shook his head, looking at me with incredulity. He clenched his jaw, put his hands on each side of his waist. “I came here hoping you would tell me it was a lie, but I can see it’s not. Procreation, Y/N? Is this serious?!”

I flinched slightly. Taehyung said the word “procreation” with such disgust that I felt myself becoming smaller. I stared down to my feet, gulping.

“It... It was expected to happen, Your Majesty. I am a female, and my race is too rare...”

“No. This is- this is wrong,” Taehyung said, almost as if he hadn’t heard me. He walked from side to side, passing his hand on his hair angrily; his aura was a mess.  

“Besides me, there are only two more female dragons, and they already had too many children. They are old. If... If I don’t do this, my race will disappear,” I said weakly again, trying to give him a plausible explanation, trying to make him understand. “If I don’t do this now, I won’t have many chances of survival in the future.”

Taehyung looked back at me at this, as if finally paying attention to what I was saying.  

“Most female dragon-hybrids die giving birth,” my voice sounded as controlled as possible, but it still wavered. “The only way for us to carry a child and survive after the birth is if we impregnate at the exact date we reach the full-dragon adulthood, and it will be next week. I have a strong and healthy physique, so my chances of survival are high. It must happen, Your Majesty.”

“No.” he repeated once again, exasperated. Was he even paying attention to what I was saying? “This- what you’re saying- this is wrong, Y/N! Everything is wrong!”

The confusion inside of me grew. How could he know what was right and what was wrong? “It is the truth, Your Majesty-”

“What makes me angrier is that you didn’t tell me about this before,” Taehyung cut me off, again, as if he hadn’t heard me. “You hid this from me. You weren’t honest with me.”

In that moment, I saw disappointment in his eyes – and instead of saddening me, I felt the anger from before start to burn again. He was this exasperated because I didn’t tell him I would not be his guardian for the next nine months, that’s it. That’s what he cared about. I tightened my fists.

“And what right do you have to say this to me?” I said, a venous anger very apparent in my voice as I looked at him. We both were angry beyond words, our auras felt like fire. “You’re the one who’ve been keeping secrets from me since the beginning.”

Taehyung narrowed his eyes, and I saw the moment his demeanor wavered because of my accusation. “What-?”

“I’m not stupid, Taehyung,” his name left my mouth before I could rationalize, what made the King widen his eyes only slightly. In that moment, I couldn’t care about our positions and roles; it was just me and him, and I wanted explanations. I needed it. “You said it yourself that you have many secrets, isn’t it? You never told me why you chose me as your guardian. You just make me feel as if I’m close to you, when in fact you never tell anything to me. You have been hiding things from me since the beginning. So, what right do you have to judge me?!”

Taehyung inhaled heavily. “Don’t say this. Only if you had any idea of how sincere I have been-”

“And what right do you have to be mad because of my deal?” I cut him off; it was my turn to not let him speak, to not listen to him. “Your engagement with Princess Sana is almost the same thing, right? So why are you mad at me?”

I have been watching you step closer to your marriage in silence all this time, even though it hurt like physical pain, yet I said nothing.  

“I am not mad at you! I am-” Taehyung suddenly interrupted himself, swallowing hard. He closed his eyes tightly, swiped his hand on his forehead, trying to calm himself down.

Then, he looked at me again – and I felt my entire body shivering.

Not in fear.

“You are right,” he said, voice quieter now, but his anger was muffled, jaw still tightly clenched. “You are right about everything. And yes, our situations are similar.” Taehyung stepped closer to me, making a wave of heat hit me. No, this was no good. I couldn’t think properly when he stood so close to me...

“Do you want me to marry Princess Sana, Y/N?”

My eyes widened, being caught by surprise by his unexpected question.

His gaze was too overwhelming, so I felt myself avoiding it. Why was it so hard for me to deal with Taehyung? Why this man had such a strong power over me?

“S-She is a good person,” I started and, although I wasn’t lying, my voice sounded lifeless as I pronounced these words. “She is studied and very charismatic.”

“Stop it,” Taehyung said, stepping even closer. I stepped behind.

“She has good intentions and cares for hybrids, too,” I continued, tightening my fists. Pure adrenaline rushed through my veins; the air between us seemed charged with pure electricity.

“Stop it. You’re not being honest,” he said again.

“Princess Sana is already loved by the common population and she sure is the most suitable person for this role-”

“Stop it!”

I froze in place when Taehyung suddenly put his hand in the junction where my jaw met my neck, forcing me to look up at him.

Just like that night, he was so close.

The heat radiating from his body made my inner temperature increase. His hand felt hot against my skin; my heart seemed about to explode. I couldn’t believe he was standing so close to me again. I thought about that moment millions of times – the moment when he stood so close, yet didn’t dare to close the distance between us.

He was standing close to me again, though. And this time, it hurt more than ever. Because he would get married the next day with another woman.

Why did he dare to stand so close to me now?

But differently from that night, I could see a fire on his eyes now. He analyzed my features, eyebrows set in an almost angry expression. His beauty never failed to make my lungs fail, and that time was no different.

“You’re not being honest,” Taehyung said, voice low, but still strong. “Be honest with me. Do you want me to marry Princess Sana?”

I stared up at him, unable to move.

I looked at the face of the man that awakened so many sweet, fiery and painful feelings in me. He made me feel freedom, joy and empathy for the first time. He made me feel anger, he made me understand what justice means.

That unbelievably beautiful face.

And, in that moment – when he stood so close to me, when he was able to destroy every barrier I tried to build between us – I couldn’t lie to him.

“No,” I whispered the utmost truth.

Taehyung inhaled.

He still stared at me, and his eyes held something more. Something strong and deep and dizzying. I saw those eyes sparkling with something I couldn’t quite name.

Just like that night, I saw the moment his gaze dropped to my mouth.

I saw his face getting close to mine, millimeter after millimeter. My heartbeat hammered on my ears, my entire body tense with expectation.

But this time, it was different. Taehyung didn’t blink. Taehyung didn’t waver. No one interrupted the spell that kept us together.

This time, his lips touched mine.

His lips felt soft and warm against my own; he tilted his head to the side, and the hand that cupped my jaw slipped to hold the nape of my neck. I stood there, completely stiff, because I didn’t know exactly what to do; my entire body felt impossibly hot, as if my blood became lava rushing through my veins. Taehyung moved his lips against mine, forcing me to part my own – and instead of thinking too much, I just let my instincts take control of my actions.

Taehyung wasn’t being delicate. His lips were hungry, needy, terribly passionate – and I felt that I could barely breathe. Through that kiss, I could feel a strong and blinding turmoil of feelings – anger, guilt, resolve and euphoria. His other hand rested at the small of my back and he pushed me against him so our bodies were completely smashed, making me gasp between the kiss. The hand resting on my neck grabbed my hair, keeping me in place. Every fiber of my body seemed about to explode.  

My legs felt weak, and I honestly think I would have fallen if Taehyung weren’t holding me so tightly. My hands came to rest on his shoulders where I grabbed his shirt weakly, because I still wasn’t brave enough to touch him. Our lips moved in an untrained, furious synchronicity.  

Taehyung was who broke the kiss, both of us running out of breath. I saw his glossy lips, the area around his mouth reddish. He looked at me with half-lidded eyes, a gaze that looked softer somehow.

“T-Taeh-” I tried to say, but was cut short when his lips smashed against mine once more. It was less hurried now, however still deep and intense. I felt as if my body was melting under his touch, my mind way too drowned in bliss to rationalize properly. His taste was intoxicating; I felt that I could kiss him forever and never get tired of it.

After pressing his lips on mine sweetly for a long moment, he finally broke apart, but still kept me glued on him. We were panting, my fingers which still held his shirt trembling slightly. He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes, caressing my cheek with his thumb.

And we stayed like that. My emotions never felt so raw as in that moment. Taehyung was keeping me so close, my lips were still stinging from the kisses. In that moment, nothing else existed; no wedding, no deal, no insurmountable wall. We were just us. Just two people that wanted to be close to each other.

But as soon as this euphoric moment came, it went away, reality hitting me all at once, and my body started to feel cold again.

I gulped. “Why... Why did you do this?” I whispered, making Taehyung open his eyes to look at me.

“Because I wanted to,” he answered simply.

I shook my head almost imperceptibly, looking at his chest. “No. You did this to divert my attention.”

I put both hands on his chest and pushed him delicately – but instead of just accepting it, Taehyung held my arms with his hands in a swift movement. He did not put much strength; I could have pushed him away if I wanted. But the look he sent me was what made me surprised. Taehyung looked desperate, as if the idea of seeing me leave was terrifying.

“Please- Don’t go yet,” he whispered, a fragile plead.

My feet felt rooted on the ground. I didn’t move. I could not lie to myself; as much as it was painful to me, I didn’t want to leave his embrace.  

But he still owned me some answers.

And I wanted my answers now.

“Taehyung,” I called quietly, and I didn’t miss how he closed his eyes at this – as if hearing me pronounce his name was a pleasing melody. “Why did you choose me? Please, don’t hide this from me anymore. Tell me the truth. Do you remember when you asked me to be honest with you?” he nodded. “I am asking the same thing from you. Be honest with me, even if the truth hurts. I- I can’t keep living if you don’t tell me the truth.”

Taehyung looked at me in silence for long moments. His gaze held so much feelings that, for a moment, I asked myself how was he able to bear all of that. Delicately, he put a strand of my hair behind my ear and caressed my cheek. I could see he was having an inner argument...

But then, Taehyung closed his eyes for a moment and sighed deeply.

When he opened his eyes again, I saw a strong resolve.

“You are right. It’s past time for you to know the entire truth,” he murmured, more to himself than to me. “I don’t even know where to begin from...”

Taehyung gulped. I looked at him in expectation.

“I chose you that day to protect you, Y/N.”

I narrowed my eyes, confusion hitting me. “Protect me? What- why would you protect me?”

“Because they wanted to get rid of you,” the confusion just condensed inside of me. Who wanted to get rid of me? Why is that? “The same people that cursed my father.”

I stiffened at this.

“What?” my voice sounded too quiet, too weak, too scared of what was about to come.

Taehyung was serious in a way I’ve never seen before.

“King Taejun didn’t die of a disease, Y/N. He was murdered.”

And with that, more than ever, I lost the ability to speak.

King Taejun? Murdered? Someone killed him? But who? And why would these people want to kill me, too...?

But, before I could voice all these questions out loud, both of us were silenced.

The thunderous sound of an explosion echoed in the air.

The ground shook so strongly that I would have fallen if Taehyung didn’t catch me in time.

And I felt a bad, horrible, nauseating feeling in my guts.

We looked in the direction of the source of the explosion – the front gates of the palace. We could already see fire, as well as the desperate and panicked yells of thousands of people.

The palace was under attack.

Without a single word, we looked at each other for one second.

We started to run.

[wvrmtails]

(  and what loneliness is more lonely than distrust?  )

( keiynan lonsdale, twenty one, agender ) my goodness, is peter pettigrew back? it’s been a few years since the halfblood has been around the castle, but i’d recognize he/they anywhere. rumor has it the seventh year spent the past few years aligned with the order. they’re stillallocentric & cunning and obsessive & passive, though. and the gryffindor still reminds me of ketchup stains on band shirts, an incomprehensible minute long string of curses, tracing the veins in your wrist, the smell of breakfast and fresh coffee, card tricks at three in the morning. well, then, i guess some things never change. 

links:  playlist.  pinboard.  stats. 

triggers: child abandonment, eating disorder (specifically bed/bulimia), depression, anxiety, weed. there’s a heads up before every bulletpoint!

history.

child abandonement mention |  peter grew up in glasgow, scotland and was raised by his mother, a halfblooded witch called daraja pettigrew. his dad wasn’t in the picture, hadn’t been from the moment his mum had told him that she was pregnant. | end of mention

which meant peter learned how to be alone from a young age. his mother worked a lot, after all, so she could pay the rent of their small flat and give peter the bare minimum, the things he needed. peter delved into fictional worlds: he read books. comics, mostly, but also a lot of roald dahl. he also watched a lot of telly, because tv is the bomb.

went to muggle elementary, where he was kind of? an odd one out. his clothes were always a bit lumpy, his words a bit jumbled, his eyes shifty. was an outsider on good days, a target on less good ones. he spent many lunch breaks eating alone, and most of the time he didn’t mind — being alone meant he could let his mind wander.

still, it fucked with his self esteem. no kid likes feeling alone, or like an outsider.

and then hogwarts rolled around and! friends! marauders! peter felt so at home! oh my god okay listen. he loves the marauders so much and he was so hyped and happy to be part of this little group and there was a Lot of hero worship there, esp in the early days?

peter always loved heroes. he loves comic books and people who save the day and get the girl and do it all. i think he kind of … projected that onto james and sirius especially? did not know how to do this friendship thing as an 11 year old tbh, was a mess, was blinded by their amazingness damn

also. re: being sorted into gryffindor! peter admires heroism and bravery and chivalry, and it’s your values that get you sorted some place. and he does try to be brave, and he IS, because he becomes a damn animagus for his bud! i mean! he was not a hatstall btw  — i choose to ignore that stupid bit of post canon. it took a while for the hat, sure, but no more than two minutes. 

pete was & is a shit student, not bc he was dumb, but just because school was not. his thing. his jam. the system was just not for him. deadlines? exams? homework? no thank you. anyway, peter’s skills flourished a lot more in different settings, like … using charms for convenience. or becoming an animagus for his bff. making potions against hangovers. etc.

becoming an animagus for remus was ! important ! to peter ! he did it for remus, not because of peer pressure, or anything else — he did it because it was right, and his friend deserved it and ! he did it, too, because he could. sure, his transfig grades may have been more than poor, but the kid did have some skill. he just needed motivation, which mcgonagall didn’t give (bc. she scared him.) and this situation? motivated the hell out of him. 

peter would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken a bit aback when he learned about remus’ lycanthropy — not because he was scared of him, to be honest, but he was just ? shocked ? he was more scared for remus, and so sad? so fucking sad for him? : (

collects chocolate frog cards like it’s his damn job. i mean, he did it before hogwarts, but once he arrived and there was more opportunity to trade and a whole club dedicated to it, peter grew more and more driven to complete his collection, lmao. peter also really likes playing gobstones and is pretty good at it? same with chess & card games — he loves games!!!! so much!!!

weed & anxiety tw | peter started smoking pot in the summer between his fourth and fifth year, and never really stopped. it made him slack more at school, but also eased his anxiety, which had started to develop in his fourth year. as months passed, peter became more and more of a stoner, which made him both more relaxed and funnier, but also ... a whole of a lot lazier. | end of weed tw

peter had always been a bit ... fidgety, easily on edge, a bit nervous, but he’d never really known anxiety until around fourteen years old. his insecurities grew, as he started comparing himself more to his friends and finding nothing but things he lacked in comparison to them, and questions as to why they put up with him. | end of anxiety tw

so his schooldays mostly looked like ... doing nothing, playing games, having fun with his mates, getting high, forgetting his homework, stressing about homework, and somewhere, in a tiny corner of his being, worrying about the war. whenever those worries started coming up, though, he was able to push them away, because the war was not yet there, not for him at least. there was graduation to worry about first, and once that was done, then he could worry about the war.

and then the war came to hogwarts. peter was shocked. peter had been in denial about the war and how close it could hit him, because in his mind he and his friends would be safe at hogwarts, would be safe until at least graduation, and then that was all gone. peter didn’t do much during the battle. i can imagine that he just hid, that he tried to stay out of trouble, that a side of him showed itself that he did not like at all. he worried about his friends, hoped they were safe, but didn’t go looking for them, didn’t try to protect them: he clung to safety and hid. like a fucking coward. he prayed, for a moment, and then cursed god to hell and back. probably smoked a few cigarettes, too.

post battle & currently.

peter is ashamed. ashamed of his cowardice, ashamed of his passiveness, of his incapability to stand up and fight, like so many of his friends did. a disgust grew in his chest for himself, and yet he was glad, somewhere, that he had hidden. he’d not seen as much as others had. he’d not gotten hurt. he had not died.

he did join the order, along with his friends, in an attempt to make up for his earlier lack of bravery, but he finds himself incapable to do much. he’s not good at dueling and while he’s able to be strategic and cunning, his mind seems to shut down whenever he tries to apply himself. he’s terrified, frankly, and he’s angry, because he should just be at fucking hogwarts. 

that idea i mentioned earlier, that the war wouldn’t be real until after graduation, and then graduation being postponed significantly, kind of froze peter up. rather than dedicating himself to the order in his own ways, as he would do in a canon verse, or eventually deciding to walk over to the death eaters, peter just became passive. i think peter hung around hq a lot, cleaning up and cooking food and making sure there was always enough tea/coffee/beer/liquor around for when there were meetings. would rather clean a dirty toilet than go on a mission. The Order’s personal MAID! 

depression & weed & eating disorder (bed/bulimia) tw | peter feels useless. he feels like a shitty person. he feels like he’s a burden. he hates himself. peter starts secluding himself, hiding in his mother’s home. he smokes more pot. he sometimes goes a week without seeing someone besides his mum. he watches too much telly and reads comics and drowns in fictional worlds and he becomes depressed. he sinks into it without noticing and can’t come back from it. his eating habits ( which have always bordered on unhealthy ) turn worse; peter binges, and then restricts, falls into a cycle. it’s the only routine he has.

when he’s around his friends, he lives up a little. he cracks jokes and wants to play games and laughs and feels a bit more alive, but he always craves his time on his own. that’s his new way to feel safe: to stick to his newly found routine, hidden in his room, away from reality. | end of tw

and then, finally, he was able to return to hogwarts. the three years spent away from school feel like a blur, if you ask him now, a useless blur, and peter’s laughing when he steps on the train. he’s glad. he’s glad. he can return to his plan to graduate and then, maybe, find the power in himself to face the war, rather than still, kind of, deny it. peter just wants to return to his last year and make the most of it, and return to the way life once was. ( that that’s kind of impossible is, well, yet another thing he’s in denial about. )

random facts & ramblings.

peter parker is his favourite superhero just because ... they share a first name and because peter parker is a bit of an underdog too and peter is just like! amazing! he named his owl parker.

he hates cats. used to love them --- he was allowed to take the cat from home with him to hogwarts when he was eleven, but he brought him back home after an unfortunate incident where his cat nearly ate him while he was in his animagus form. “sorry ma, i don’t love him any more. here. have him.” 

peter is actually a solid cook. this is because he learned to make some basic food when he was still a kid, first with his grandma, and later on his own. he liked doing it for his mother and he was. .. good at it? peter is also just passionate about food and finds comfort in cooking. breakfast food and baked goods are Prime Food Categories. 

he is asexual af, panromantic. has kissed both guys and gals and nb pals but did not like it??? confused. does not understand sexuality and all that jazz but tries not to think abt it because like! he’s got enough stress! doesnt need to think abt this!

peter is also agender, but i think he’s a lot less aware about this, because it’s confusing and so he just tries not to think about it. he does feel okay with he/him pronouns, but just doesn’t feel connected at all to being a boy/man

peter has abandonment issues because his dad, well, never even bothered to be there. not even for a second. he’s just constantly scared that people will leave and it’s funny, because he will probably end up abandoning all of his loved ones KDJFHSDF.

peter is quite non confrontational but also not ... meek? he just avoids it, either by physically staying out of people’s way or by dismissing most of the things said and getting out of there. a Passive Kid. will, however, defends his friends honour, because damn it, he loves them so much.

he’s such a fucking dork i swear to god. but he’s funny! peter is really funny. i deeply believe in this. he makes great puns and is able to just come out of nowhere and make a comment that just. hits the nail right on its head. 

peter curses a lot and has a scottish accent and sometimes he will have a minute long cursing session that no one rly understands.

listen i have such a wide array of hc’s im not going to list them all here just ask me

possible plots.

tutors. someone help peter graduate bc that is like. something he does want to do. he’s taking his newts in transfig, potions and herbology.

fellow collectors. please trade chocolate frog cards with peter and help him finish his collection before he loses his gd mind.

let’s play a game! peter rly likes playing games and tbh he’s usually in for one ( though it does depend on who you are, lmao ) so! maybe your character and peter just like hanging out and playing some Games.

i will add more im just so tired of typing rn KSDFHSJKDFHKJSDFKDSFH

[woozi]

henlo yza <3

if i become obsessed w any drama i keep checking its actors' mydramalist pages to see what else they are working on and if i like any plot,,, i keep checking it everyday for a fix date, like a moth to light 💀😭 also i was trying to keep tabs on what project woobin was gonna comeback with that's why i knew hdhdjdfdjjd

i've been so hyped for this even before the date was set 😭 (really love how it has 3 diff couples' unique love & personal stories apparently connected w each other) reminds me so much of homecha i hope it's as good as it is promising. glad it's only week away as business proposal and 2521 are ending next week 😭💔

2521 is packed with so much nostalgia i cannot,, you should def watch it. it really has that 90's summer vibes and beautiful friendships of 5 ( counting yijin) and the 4 classmates as a group and their own individual friendships w each other 🥺 i really love them sm. business proposal has been providing me comic relief thus saving me from 2521's sadness jfjfjdk both dramas are worth watching.

ALSO bibi sung an ost for 2521 i've been so obsessed with her voice in this song oh my god i cannot stop listening to it. it's called very slowly. best song from the whole album. i'm so happy dk got to sing for this drama it was the intro for the first of the drama eps it made me so happy </3 he deserves

and no i haven't had chance to look up the webtoon characters of business proposal,, i did see sunghoon ( the secretary with glasses ) actor playing him looks exactly like him 😭 it's so hfhddjkdkd they dif good job with casting. not just for looks but they all are playing their characters pretty well

i've just been waiting for the movie to not release here ( my city is small hejejdkdj hope it only releases in big metro cities so i won't feel bad ) for once want pledis to fuck up <3

the way you were right about the tour hdjdjdkd and same reasons for not going <//3 none of the big kpop acts have been here for concert don't know why, they all have huge fanbases here. only smalls ones like vav, kard that too just once before covid in only one big city. so to feel bad abt not going to con is out of picture for me hdjdjdd

yess it has been good here 🥺💙 thank you 💚 about tattoos,,, just neat, minimalist looking design of moon phases on inner side of my elbow/elbow pit? (apparently they're called ditch tattoos i think dhdjkd) that's just it for now. and i knowwww i was going through my tattoo ideas pin board and was wondering what was i thinking as a teen back then hdjdjdkdkd i didn't like any of my saved ones. ended up searching hdjfdj at that moment i was so glad i held back from getting some at 17-18 but this time i'm serious about getting moon phases for now.

omg that's great you can enjoy your relaxing and watching dramas 🥺 watch business proposal to freshen up your mood hfjdkddk it's so bizarre in the starting hdjddk it's perfect mix of good cringe and funny,, hope you make the most of your break (i.e sleep lots, eat and relax 😌) ily too <3333 take care of yourself 🥺💌

hello my love <333333

not like a moth to light that made me laugh irl 😭 you are SOOOOO valid!! ALSO OMG DIDNT KNOW IT WAS NOT FOCUSED ON A SINGLE COUPLE LIKE MOST DRAMAS ARE!! wig now i'm looking forward to watching it even more <3

wait omg so is it similar to the reply series then 👁👄👁 ALSO BIBIIIIIIIIIIIIII 😭 so many good things abt this drama huh <3

FDJKDFJKDFKJFD YOU ARE SO RELATABLE 😭😭 but cinemas near me are airing it so like 😭😭 and in all honestly i just dont want to spend money on.. men JKJKFDKJFDJK unless theyre concerts that are to be held at a better time

hate that i was right tbh 😭😭 ik it's great that things are returning back to normal and im so so happy they finally get to perform in front of people they love but like kjffjkddf hope they're staying safe :/ also that is so strange 😭😭 did u go see them 👀 also watch this be a japan + us tour only JKDFKJDFKJFD

ALSO MOON PHASES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur taste <3 v sexie!! also very you if i might say so hehehe <3 ok but hear me out.. what if u added one that corresponds to ur bday 👀 and if u dont mind me asking.. when's ur bday heheheh 🤪

IKKKKKKKK OMG ICB I'M GETTING 2 WEEKS OFF!!! but then again it'd just be me catching up on shit for uni tbh jkfdjkfdkjdf i def will maximize it though <33 and not the good cringe 😭 hope u also take care of urself v well <333 u deserve it!! MWAH

[ellipsis-ultima]

IDW Sonic #6 review

To Spare? Or not to Spare? That is the question.

So I finally got around to finishing Issue 6 (a few times). And it made me change my theory up a bit which I’ll get to later. I will say the interactions for this part were pretty good all round, Sonic and Shadow actually fight over a reason rather than fanservice (a la Sonic Boom) and the points from both sides was what made the story interesting. (Also more game story references!)

In the previous issue, we see Sonic take note of how much of a threat Eggman is. This time, he tries to convince Shadow to give him a chance despite the amnesia, by pointing out the times Eggman actually assisted the group when there was a new threat, using the Black Arms battle as a good example, considering Shadow was technically created by them (and Gerald Robotnik). He even reminds Shadow of his own past, (a la SA2 and some of the story routes from Shadow the Hedgehog).

And right at the beginning Shadow states that “Losing one’s memory doesn’t make them any less dangerous”, which was a surprising and sad reference to the times he worked with Eggman and fought with the others. But the cool thing about him in this issue was that he cared about Sonic’s well being. He pinned him down but only to state his two cents on the matter, showing concern over the time Eggman attacked Sonic many times (and the recent capture in Forces).

This wasn’t one of those daily battles, it was more of a fight with words one that made the interaction between Sonic and Shadow interesting.

                                      We all have that one friend...

There were also some amusing moments, Sonic using the events of SA2 to justify his point, only for Shadow to stare at him while Sonic gives that sheepish grin. Sonic saying “nerts” (another way of saying “nuts” you learn something new every day!) was pretty random. I didn’t know what to expect when he was saying that. The Chaotix in this issue was pretty amusing. When they decide to go after Sonic and Shadow only for sweat drops to appear after seeing how fast they’re going was hilarious and then pinning the blame on Rouge after that with the latter being coy was also funny.

Also, Rouge was the one who sent that tip to the Chaotix and Charmy still not getting it was amusing. Then Mr. Tinker revealing what Eggmanland is, a small playground was slightly amusing and more cute honestly, though I will ask: Is it a good idea to design the rides off of several badniks? Some people are afraid of these things... Anyway seeing Tinker and Sonic getting along well was pretty nice to see! 

...And this is where we can talk about the ending of this issue which was...uh...

Excuse me whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

Okay, now I’m pretty sure there’s more to this than meets the eye but if there isn’t then this would kill all the foreshadowing hype the issues were building. With that said... before this reveal, I initially thought that Mr. Tinker was a mere illusion and the Ruby is back. but now my guess is as follows: Mr.Tinker really is Eggman, who is slowly getting his memory back (Sonic’s thoughts may be implying that this could be the case). The Eggman on the chair is either Metal Sonic (Overlord?) or Eggman Nega. Both of them have disguised as the Doctor before (in Heroes and the Riders duology).

I think it’s going to be Nega. It would be a chance to make his debut in the new comic, since he didn’t make an actual appearance in the Archie Comics (the closest we got were his cameo appearances in an off panel and then another comic panel as a silhouette). Assuming that mandate isn’t in effect in this continuity.

Blaze being in Sonic’s world because the Sol Emeralds have warned her about something else coming (that isn’t the events of Sonic Forces) may be implying that it could be Nega? I think he’s more of Blaze’s (and Silver’s) enemy rather than Sonic’s. Then there’s the fact that Eggman was eyeing the Master Emerald again in Issue 3. Who else aside from the real Eggman, Sonic and his friends are aware of the Emerald?

...Eggman Nega is somehow aware of it, considering the fact that he managed to store it in a card in Rivals. Unless I’m totally missing something and that Metal Sonic was aware of it’s existence before and tried to take it. But yeah, these are my current thoughts. Issues 5 and 6 were pretty interesting interaction wise. The art by Tracy was alright, with few amusing expressions from Sonic and the Chaotix. His cover (shown in op) looks really nice and it’s another favourite cover to come from the series. Those colors are really good against the black background.

Though I’m hoping we get to see other artists for a while. At least there will be actual answers this time from Issue #7 (with ABT doing the work again! I’m pretty interested to see where it goes from here!

[davidpwilson2564]

Bloglet

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Someone had the bright idea that Lincoln Center orchestras should have a photo made for Local 802′s house organ, Allegro.  I go to Lincoln Center.  ABT is the only group that shows up.  It is good to see a few friends. It is a beautiful day...and as we are catching up as the security guards tell us we are not allowed anywhere on the grounds and must stay on the sidewalk.  As comic touch is added when the police show up thinking we might be part of a protest.

Note: A strange feeling...seeing people for a few moments that I’d ordinarily get to see more often.  People I’d get to hang out with had our livelihood not been denied us due to lack of federal leadership.  (I knew Trump was poisonous but never suspected he’d ruin my career.)

Dan and I have lunch together and catch up.  He is recording some music and “zooming” it and getting it out there and will have a career when live music comes back, whenever that is. 

Note: Big scene in Philadelphia...Eric Trump...genius...and Rudi (!)...there to expose voter fraud.  Rudi gets bugged eyed and seems to foam at the mouth.  He babbles about the Democrat machine in Philly, and decades of corruption, etc.

Interesting: No tweets from the White House today...no Crooked Hillary, Shifty Shiff, Sleepy Joe, et al.  Silence.  He’s sulking. I think, preparing for an outburst.

In the meanwhile Biden looks to be creeping  ahead.  Trump threatens several lawsuits...this is no surprise to anyone.  He will sue all of the states in which he is behind.

I know I am not the only one made ill by all of this.  As someone said, after this is resolved there won’t be any breast-beating.  We’re all going to be sick of it.

Note: Trump announces that his lead mysteriously vanished and suspects there is chicanery afoot.  Says: Stop counting.  In other words, stop counting in states where I have the lead. 

Thursday, November 5, 2020

The races among several states are close.  I would never have imagined they’d be so close.  Biden has the edge and as the day wears on it appears he needs only a few more electoral votes.

Joe makes an announcement.  Says, be calm. 

Trump makes an announcement, from the White House (which should not under any circumstances be used as a campaign headquarters [the Hatch Act]). He says that the legal votes show him to be the winner, if you count the illegal votes he is not. 

Venturing out today I notice a kind of reopening of the city.  The small park at 57th and Ninth is now unlocked.  Some of the huge boards are being removed from the windows.  As night falls there are demonstrations...peaceful until out of towners, who don’t have a dog in the hunt, come to make trouble.  The trouble they stir up will be blamed on the demonstrators.  It is all very sad and awful.

The president has once again embarrassed us, once again disgraced the office. 

In a vivid dream I escape moments before I am to be married.