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seijch · 4 years ago

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hi im about to spam u (so sorry) but ive been too scared to read doomsday until now and im so glad i finally did becasue dude. Dude. its so much. "It’s as the sky bleeds from orange to pale blue that it hits." i loveeee how you incorperated such small moments like the hot chocolate and the ily + i know... be even here just the thought of your Last Sunrise is heartbreaking, but to /realize/ your own end coming in that moment, especially watching the soft sunrise... oof.

HI!!! omg when you sent this i was like . abt to sleep but i read this before i did and went irl 🥺🥺 and then also passed out before i could formulate a response sjfksdfds

anyway!! my response to your asks (i hope i got them all but!!) will be under the cut bc i dont know how to shut up ❤

a lot of the way the interactions in doomsday unfold are honestly BECAUSE tsukki and the reader are (i mean first of all, theyre tsukki and the reader with all that comes with) fully aware that:

they have abt a full day of life left

theres nothing that can be done to elongate that time or avoid death altogether

its not like some young adult novel where a group of ragtag teenagers save the world; its the tale of two adults who have had time to come to terms with the fact that their lives and the lives of everyone they know will end soon (and once again everything that THAT comes with). its why i rlly enjoyed juxtaposing the nice weather w the crippling realization of their own mortality 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

"you try to stress your words, make it absolutely clear that you’ve never meant anything like you mean this" this is HEARTBREAKING in a whole miryad of different ways - for a realtionship u establish as one with so many things unsaid but still understood, but here to have her say this so desperately?? like she feels this its too big to leave between the lines? it doesnt matter that he knows, she needs to say it and needs him to hear it UGH IM SAD AGAIN

IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THIS ONE OUT!! this is EASILY one of my favorite parts of the whole fic mostly bc its something i go thru a lot? like im the definition of that tweet abt never making any damn sense but ESP when it comes to my i love yous or other serious things...i say it a lot and yes i mean it every time! but sometimes i MEAN it and i never quite know how to properly express that kinda thing.

i think its especially big for the reader in the context of the world ending and in the context of their relationship with tsukishima to have that moment of transparency and complete sincerity for the EXACT reasons you described!!!

"It’s hollow; neither of you have been under the delusion that this was anything but." u said u werent sure about his characterisation but this screams tsukki to me. cuz hes blunt and i dont think he would lie to himself about something like this especially. and even when she tries just for a moment to pretend, he just shows her /no, its ok, this is the truth and we have to die with it/... nah it vibes dude. hes such a interesting character for this idea too? because hes not sappy or anything +

so his tears hurt so much more... oof. "This is my goodbye, he says with more than words." this just... i have so many feelings about this. cuz to me hes totally someone who shows affection through small actions when he cant find the words to match his emotions? so this is like a 4-book-saga laying out his emotions cuz he doesnt quite have the words to say it out loud and theyre out of time. its desperate, but not sad desperate? like its the end but its just him making sure shes knows everything

ok first of all THANK YOU for saying that bc i wrote him being more vulnerable than i think we rlly see in any tsukki not like ... in junior high LMAO and immediately after i felt my characterization alarms ringing ... like yk those natural disaster alarms? thats the vibe...

but i had one of those Moments where i was no longer the one writing and it was the characters themselves just telling me what to say and how to say it nsfsfsd so im rlly glad it worked! and tbh when the concept first grabbed me by the collar i was juggling a few different characters around in my head but i think i made the right choice in the end. its like you said -- hes not a particularly sappy type and hes always been more grounded in reality imo than some of the other characters (another contender for this fic was akaashi but i realized i do NOT have any solid grasp of his character that isnt from fandom interpretation which is a double edged sword tbh)

and honetly i was ok until "If you’re going to take me out, do it in style, you’d said to him, once. So he does." and then i was all of a sudden crying. and the "stripped down to your bare selves" like theyre just being incinerated together and IM- NO WRODS JUST FEELINGS. i think the best thing about this is how unrushed it feels? and it hurts and its aching but they Know. +

and theyve come to some form of peace with it so when it does come, they can focus on eachother and not the end oh im gonna cry again. this was so gracefully put together, thank u for this. i might reread it and cry again, amazing work 😭💕

i didnt touch on it above bc i wanted to do it here but yes!!!! the absolute fucking DESPERATION felt by both parties in that last minute (which idk if you read my tags on the fic proper but 11:59 was originally one segment before i took those last couple paragraphs and made them the very last second ... i think i made the right choice? it rlly does scream FINAL to me) is SO poignant. all of the walls and hidden meanings fall away because in the end theyre all they have left, dying in each others arms at the very end of it all.

this full REVIEW honestly made me so happy to hear esp on a piece i wasnt quite sure how to feel about at first,, thank you 🤝🏻🤝🏻 i hope you have/had a wonderful day!!!!

OK EDIT BC I JUST SAW THIS COMIC SOMEONE MADE ON IG AND ITS NOT THE MOST RELEVANT BUT ANSWERING THIS PUT ME IN A TSUKISHIMA MOOD SO HERE

#fave #man seeing this in my inbox had me go irl keyboard smash i was like HUH #you literally read my damn mind every step of the way and all i gotta say (coherently) is THANK YOU #i feel SEEN and HEARD mndfdsf #💌 love letters #doughnuts-5ever

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starrysamu · 2 years ago

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hey u thinkin about u today hope u are thriving n all that good stuff <3333 -moo

@doughnuts-5ever wya chef i hope YOU'RE thriving and miss u ):

#moo ♡

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lnarizakis · 4 years ago

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if ghosts could even love

masterlist

pairing: yamaguchi tadashi x fem!reader x tsukishima kei

foreword: hi! this piece was definitely out of my comfort zone, but really fun to write! this is an angsty guardian angel au. it is another attempt at angst since the only thing i’m pretty much decent at is fluff. so here i am, continuing to practice angst! this is also one of my first attempts at “aesthetic formatting,” so please go easy on me, hahah. thank you to @doughnuts-5ever for beta-reading! i hope you enjoy!!

word count: 1.6k

look out for: themes referring to death, mentions of suicide and manga spoilers, unrequited love, angst

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Warm air hit his face, and he was instantly met with a blinding light that shines even through his eyelids that he has to squeeze his eyes more shut than they already were. He couldn’t breathe, but he felt as free as an angel flying in the sky. Perhaps he was one. It seemed like a dream—to be up in the heavens, lying on the clouds; but when he opened his eyes ever so slowly, the pink and white and purple and yellow surrounding him like a flurry made him realize that he most definitely was not on Earth, but maybe, just maybe, he was in Heaven.

“Welcome to Heaven,” a voice boomed in his head, but it didn’t ring in his ears, shaking his being like all his mortal fears did when he was still alive. He’s...dead? But his soul felt so alive, he couldn’t possibly fathom that he was actually dead.

“Your good intentions on Earth did not go unnoticed,” the voice rang again. He looked around for the source of the message, but all he could find within the vast space of clouds and sky was himself— or, at least, what he thought was himself. He attempted to look down at his feet, but there were no feet in sight. It was just his soul, the empty ghost of what was once a former pinch server, captain, student, and best friend. “You are allowed to look over one person on earth for the rest of their life. You must have choose wisely; you are to watch over this person for the rest of your life. Who shall you choose?”

Without hesitation, he spoke out loud (if ghosts could even talk), “My best friend, Tsukishima Kei.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

A flurry of bright colors covered his entire vision, and they turned darker and darker as they mixed with one another. The blizzard vanished before him, and he stood in front of his best friend, who sat at the edge of his bed. The lights of his bedroom were turned off, and through the closed blinds of the single window he could see that it was nighttime.

The ghost of a former friend leapt towards Tsukishima, in an attempt to hug him, but passed through his body like the spirit he was. There was certainly no way he could make contact with him at all. Tsukishima leaned forward, hands covering his face to mask his pained expression. As he groaned into his palms, the door to his bedroom slowly creaked open, revealing the shadowed figure of his older brother.

“Kei, are you okay?” He made his way towards his younger brother, only to be stopped by a stern “Leave.” Kei didn’t even turn around to look at his brother’s retreating figure.

“Tsukki, I’m right here,” the ghost called out. He was met with no reply—he was only a soul, after all. Tsukishima coudn’t possibly hear him. From behind his bedroom door, both Kei and the ghost could hear the older brother tell Kei that Tadashi’s—whoever that was—family had planned for his funeral to be the following week. A funeral? The soul made his way to reside next to Tsukishima’s hunched form, comforting him in any way he could.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

On the day of the funeral, Tsukishima showed up in a loose black suit and a tie. His head hung low, not wanting to partake in any second of this moment. The ghost thought he looked nice. As he made his way towards his best friend’s grave, Tsukishima made eye contact with a girl around his age whose tears for the deceased had already stained her cheeks for everyone to see. She turned towards Tsukishima, and the spirit who accompanied him felt a pang of familiarity in all the corners of his otherworldly body. Something about her just looked so, so familiar. Her name was on the tip of his tongue (if ghosts could even have tongues). There was no way for him to remember who she was.

“Hi, (L/N),” Tsukishima said, walking towards the girl. She wrapped her arms around his torso, but he made no movement of hugging her back. She sobbed into his chest, heaving out words she didn’t know she was saying. From behind the tear-stained girl, the mother of whom the ghost suspected was Tadashi joined the two and held out an envelope in front of Tsukishima.

“It’s for you,” she commented, as Tsukishima accepted the letter. The girl, whose name the ghost learned was (L/N), let go of her hold on Tsukishima and stood by him, watching him open the letter. He pulled out a sheet of paper that looked like it was impulsively ripped out of a math notebook on a lonely Thursday night. The handwriting looked familiar to the ghost, as if he had written out the message himself, but he had no memory of writing out a depressing suicide note like that. Tsukishima’s eyes slowly scanned the letter in front of him, but it was hard to read the ink towards the bottom of the paper that began to mix with the salty tears that dropped from his chin.

(L/N) held out her own letter, telling Tsukishima that she received one from him as well. She allowed him to read it, and the contents of it shocked him. His eyes widened, not believing a single thing Tadashi had written or her. The ghost’s best friend turned towards (L/N), who still looked ethereal as ever despite her puffy eyes and ruined makeup. She choked back a sob as she nodded, squeezing her eyes shut to keep more tears from letting out. Tsukishima looked at the ground, mumbling out, “I never knew.”

She said it was okay.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Several days later, it seemed like Tsukishima’s life returned to normal. In fact, it seemed livelier than usual, like an array of colors lit up his whole world. Maybe it was because he started dating (L/N), whom the ghost had come to know as (Y/N), brightening up his darkened canvas with the new warm colors in his life. Maybe dating her was his way of coping with his loss.

It hurt the ghost terribly, for her beauty had stirred his ghostly heart to begin beating once again. The ghost could see the way her laugh brought shades of yellow into Tsukishima’s life, and how her smile shined a pure white wherever she went. Whenever she hugged Tsukishima from behind to surprise him, or whenever she grabbed both of his hands to show him her support, shades of pink and red were splattered onto the canvas of his life. It seemed to the ghost that because of his death, a new beginning came for Tsukishima.

New feelings (if ghosts could even produce the merest of feelings) also rose within the ghost himself as he too began to fall in love with (Y/N). These feelings, though, were so familiar despite only having known her for several days; it was like he had been in love with her before. He felt so at home with these feelings—it was like falling in love with her was what he had always wanted; what he had longed for as an empty soul.

What the ghost had come to realize was that he was Tadashi and that he used to love (Y/N) while he was alive. He didn’t know what to do with this new information—or perhaps old information, and that he was to inevitably learn this—but he knew what to make of it. Tadashi had to understand that he never told (Y/N) how he felt, resulting in these feelings of his still burning alive even after his death on Earth.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

(Y/N) clung to Tsukishima’s side just like how a similar someone did to him while he was still alive. It was almost like she was a replacement for him. She was so constantly around him that it seemed like Tadashi was not only watching over Tsukishima, but also (Y/N). He observed her every quirk and learned all of her expressions. Tadashi knew just how in love with Tsukishima (Y/N) was, but the boyfriend himself couldn’t see it.

Tadashi could vividly remember one rainy Thursday afternoon, an instance in which he was so pained to be so in love yet so out of reach for (Y/N). Through the open blinds of the one window of his bedroom he could probably count each rain droplet that was stuck to the glass in the time the two were cuddled up on Tsukishima’s bed. He was fast asleep, tired out of his mind from the busy morning he had. (Y/N), though, was awake but slowly falling into a deep slumber in the warmth of his arms. Tadashi could remember her eyes��oh, her eyes—that were so in love with the boy in front of her, and he knows that if he were still alive he could give her the same kind of affection that she gave him. It hurt knowing, and it hurt that he could only imagine.

It hurt Tadashi’s soul seeing (Y/N) so in love with Tsukishima. It hurt knowing that he was in love with his best friend’s girlfriend. It hurt how he could never tell (Y/N) he loved her (if ghosts could even fall in love). Even while he was still alive. Oh, how he loved her while hew as alive. She made him feel as free as a bird up in the sky and as alive as a raging fire whose sparks crackled and flamed up in the night. It was so ironic how now, as an angel so free up in the heavens, he felt trapped inside a cage. Trapped, because he could never escape the longing he felt of livign someone who could never love him back, and the suffocation he felt knowing that he could definitely treat her better.

Tadashi laughed (if ghosts could even laugh). How selfish.

#haikyuuwritersnet #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima #kei tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #kei tsukishima x reader #yamaguchi tadashi #yamaguchi #tadashi yamaguchi #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi tadashi x reader #tadashi yamaguchi x reader #ummm so yeah sorry i killed yamaguchi :(#if there are some parts u would like me to clear up lmk #cadekagi

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evermorehaikyuu · 4 years ago

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A Thank You.

A few days ago, I had hit 1.4k and now I’m at 1,526 followers and it just feels so surreal to me. I started off with like 18 followers in March and 6 months later, I’m here and I just, I really can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d come this far.

But honestly, I wouldn’t have made it this far without the people I’ve met along the way and each and every one of you. All the likes, all the reblogs, all the comments, they have made me so happy, it’s the reason why I keep writing even when my schedule is jampacked. I love writing and the fact that all of you are here to enjoy it makes me feel so happy. So, I want to thank you all.

~Mutuals~

@caxsthetic : Eycee, you are the loveliest person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting on this site. Every single time I talk to you I feel like I’m talking to the older sister I never had and someone I can fully trust with anything. Everyone deserves someone like you.

@murasakibaraa : Yumi, you are probably one of the first people I’ve directly talked to you here and honestly, you make my day brighter with those paragraphs. Either way, I love talking to you, I love every single thing about you and yes, I l*ve you, you’re the friend everyone wants and deserves. Ozai is still stinky

@mochi-poof : Oli, my wife !! I know we say we don’t love each other all the time, but yes, I do l*ve you too and all the talks we’ve had? Iconic. You’re the person I can trust with for anything, you’re the shoulder I can cry on, and you’ve brought out another side of me and for that I thank you.

@sugusho : Chachi, Chimi !! I was honestly nervous to talk to you at first and now look at how far we’ve come. You’re the reason my pfp is what it is, but you are also so kind, so sweet, everyone deserves someone like you in their lives and I’m grateful to have met you.

@yusemis : Miyu, Mew ! Listen, I won’t lie to you, you were one of the first blogs I had ever seen and yes, you definitely intimidated, I won’t lie to you, but now I’m so glad that we’ve met and talk because you’re just so incredible and such a fun person to talk to. Thank you all of the fun times.

@gulfwanq : Sam !! You always make me laugh wherever you are, you’re one of the people I love to talk to about anything. All of the edits you’ve sent, all of the talks we’ve had, they really mean everything, so I’m glad we actually got to talk to one another.

@yindesu : Ayase! Your writing? Incredible, god tier, when I started my blog, I was so invested in your works and every single one of them made me want to get better and better. You yourself are so lovable and our little late night talks (yep, late night for me ehehehe) and you’ve just been so inspirational all this time, so for that I thank you.

@baby-boy-taichi : Kiki ! You’re on hiatus and I know that but I couldn’t do this post without at least tagging you. Your works are absolutely lovely, just like you. But you’ve honestly been someone I could talk to, an amazing friend and all in all, I love you a lot.

~More~

@kokogxddess : We have only talked in the comment section of my works and honestly, every single time you comment on any of my works, I can’t stop thinking about it for the whole day and just the little comments from you make me smile and inspire me to write the next chapter. Thank you, you deserve the world.

@doughnuts-5ever : Oh my God, I don’t even know where to begin. You’ve commented on my posts so many times and each time, without fail, you have made me the happiest person on that day. Whether it’s just a little detail (or that one time I was up at 4 am and you gave me a bee fact), you have never failed at making me smile. Thank you for that.

@skyguy-peach : GINGER ALE ! Damn, I remember the first time I interacted with you and I won’t lie to you, it still makes me laugh. But even though I say I don’t love you, yes, I really do, I appreciate you and treasure you with all my heart. Thank you for being there and just being a wonderful friend.

@erialexerz : ERI ERI ! Listen, you’re one of the most adorable people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. You’re really fun to talk to and you’re someone I definitely like seeing. You deserve everything good in this world.

To all of the anons that have come into my inbox to say random things or to say something about a work? You guys make my entire day and you are the reason I keep writing as often as I can. I love every single one of you. (To those anons that tell me to sleep, I deny those statements >:))

To those of you that have read my tags and said something about them, I am so sorry, thank you for reading that mess. My tags are a lawless land and somehow you still read them and mention them and it makes me smile, I won’t lie to you.

There are so many people that have gotten me where I am now, so many people I’ve met along the way and for that, I thank you all. Thank you for getting me here, it really has been fun. As stated before, I love each and every one of you.

#damn i really got soft this is so sad #oh well #here is my love for all of you #maybe i'll make a celebration thingamabob idk #my brain is d e a d #ivy appreciation post

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krisdreaming · 4 years ago

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YO i was a little usure about keep you like an oath but that first chapter!! im so invested already and im super exicted to see where you take this. My favourite line was for sureee "All that you know is this room, this chair, this bed, and the shallow rise and fall of Hajime’s chest." the repetition really got to me and added to how small and confined she is, physically and emotionally. looking forward to more! 💕

Ahh thank you so much! I know it’s a little different than my usual stuff so I would totally understand if you skipped it, but I’m glad to hear it’s grown on you! I loveeee hearing your favorite lines, it’s so interesting to me, so thank you for sharing!!! ily ❤️

#answered #doughnuts 5ever #kylao asks

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yacoka · 4 years ago

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THE SWEETEST THING OF ALL

──⊱ commissioned by @taiyaaki

pairing — miya atsumu x reader

genre — fluff

beta(s) — @/doughnuts-5ever

——• commission me! •——

it’s 1:47am and atsumu curses as he drops the smoking tray of cookies on the table. it isn't often he cooks, let alone bake, and his attempt of reciprocating your valentine’s day gift is turning out terribly.

he’s burned three batches of cookies and somehow liquefied two batches of fudge before osamu comes stumbling into the kitchen, bleary-eyed and grumpy.

“what are ya doing asshole?” osamu squints at his brother. it’s not unusual to see his twin in the kitchen, but it’s entirely foreign to see him in their mother’s frilly green apron and flour dusted across his face.

atsumu flushes a deep red that shows through the white powder, and has osamu sobering up a little. “nothing, go back to sleep!”

osamu scans the kitchen, taking in the pile of blackened cookies and the sink filled with dirty dishes and it clicks. he begins laughing, doubled over at the waist.

“you- yer a real scrub when it comes to the kitchen,” he wheezes, a single hard laugh away from face planting into the floor.

“shut up!” atsumu scowls, tossing a handful of flour at him.

osamu can’t even find it in him to retaliate; this blushing, flustered side of atsumu is one he doesn’t see often, and it dulls the undiluted rage that usually has him lunging at his twin into fond exasperation. he knows atsumu isn’t the easiest to like, let alone love, and he’s grateful that someone other than him appreciates his brother’s existence. not that he’d tell atsumu of course.

“c’mon scrub, i’ll help you.”

atsumu moves aside begrudgingly, stomping around the kitchen like a petulant child as osamu instructs him. it only takes an hour for them to finish a new batch of cookies and fudge, and they turn out perfectly this time.

they’re quiet as they clean up the kitchen, exhaustion laced in their every movement. a little scuffle on the way back to the room and a fight for the shower later (atsumu definitely let osamu win, though he’d deny it to his death bed), they’re both tucked back into bed, sleeping soundly.

atsumu cradles the bag of treats in his hands like they’re a ticking time bomb. because in a way, it is to him. it’s telling of his vulnerability, his heart peeking out from behind his steel ribs for the first time. it’s a bomb that could stand to either completely shatter him and his pride, or embolden his fragile heart, pushing him closer to you.

he stands outside your class in nervous anticipation, eyes darting from face to face as he tries to spot you. your classmates eye him in amusement, but he pays them no mind as you finally come into view, chatting with your friend cheerfully.

“for you!” he thrusts it out roughly, abruptly cutting off your conversation. atsumu watches the look of shock fade into surprise, and then a flustered expression that has a warmth spreading through his chest.

his cheeks burn as you take the bag from him, hands brushing lightly.

“thank you,” the bashful smile you send him is enough to send his heart into overdrive, and he vaguely registers a flash of grey hair in his peripheral before he drops to the ground. there’s a flurry of panicked yells before osamu’s face is hovering above his, you peering worriedly over his brother’s shoulder.

atsumu groans in embarrassment and osamu recognizes the look, falling back as he laughs.

“oh, you really just-” his cackles catch everyone’s attention, and suna’s somehow already there with his phone out filming everything.

atsumu groans once more, sitting up and covering his face. a familiar light laugh has him peeking through his fingers to look at you. you grin at him in fond amusement, hands coming forth to pull his hands away from his face.

“thank you, atsumu.” you press a soft kiss to his cheek.

his face flares into a startling red, almost the shade of his jacket and despite his stuttered response, atsumu thinks that all the embarrassment is worth this one moment.

#atsumu x reader #haikyuu atsumu #miya atsumu #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader

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giyuwu-san · 4 years ago

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burn the stage — part 1 // dabi

— A multi-chapter fic complete with your favorite indie and mainstream bops. Watch as you fall in love with the captivating guitarist of a band one drunken, perfect night. (BAND AU)

↱ PAIRING : Dabi x Female!Reader

↱ WORD COUNT : 5K

↱ WARNINGS : Mentions of alcohol, Suggestive themes, Strong language, Dabi being hot

↱ TAGS : @yusemis @lordexplosionsextra @astrrnmy @basicallyberry @j-brielmalfoy (I actually remembered my taglist this time wow)

↱ AUTHOR’S NOTE : Thank you sosososo much to @kaikamikazi for allowing me to use her likeness for Kai’s character! Happy birthday to my favorite clown <3 everyone please wish her a happy birthday woot woot !!! And also huge huge thanks to @doughnuts-5ever and @jojosmilktea for helping me proofread/betaread this fic huhu it was a whole ass mess you guys are absolute legends tysm!!

↱ PLAYLIST

↱ SERIES MASTERLIST

------------------------------------------------✈

scene one; no song

"Thousands of years ago, our ancestors looked up at the night sky and saw a field of lights."

The aged man paced around the room, hands folded behind his back and hair graying by the roots. His side facing the blackboard on the wall, he continued;

"None of them really knew what they were," he stopped and looked at the vast sea of students perched atop of chairs in the big room. "But, they made a fascinating observation."

You sat listening to your professor, your chin perched on your open palm, and eyes focused on the notebook that sat idly on your connected desks.

"They noticed that the patterns were predictable and had clear effects." The man said with some form of self-acknowledged eureka, his left hand coming up to the height of his face, index finger pointing up at the heavily-lit ceiling. "The seasons, the tides, the harvests."

"Incredible, isn't it?" he resumed.

The man was about to continue on his tangent. But that was until a hand shot up in the air, followed by a voice.

"Uhm, professor?" the boy who raised his hand asked. "Aren't we supposed to be learning about chemistry?"

Your professor looked at him, who now appeared to be slightly frightened by the blank but disrupted gaze of his teacher.

“Pfft—”

You turned around to see your friend Kai, her head resting upon her folded arms. Was she seriously trying to sleep through the lesson again?

“The one opportunity we got to sleep,” she sighed. “You just had to ruin it, brainy.”

“Is that seriously what you call a sufficient insult?” you asked as you fully tilted your head towards her direction.

“Wasn’t saying it to insult him.” She said casually as she massaged her head with the hand closest to her, face still partially buried within her entangled arms. “Wasn’t saying it to compliment him either though.”

You scoffed.

“You’re unbelievable,” and at that, the darker-skinned girl turned to you with horror in her eyes.

“Oh no,” she said petrified.

“What?”

“You’re being a Karen again.”

You looked at her dumbfounded, sighing.

“I am not being a Karen,” you started. “I’m just saying—”

It was already too late, however, as Kai had both her hands covering her ears, blocking out your protests as well as all her other life issues.

You sighed once more and turned your attention back to your professor, your notebook still open on your desk.

“Your semester is practically over,” said your professor, standing idly in front of all the students, his left hand reaching up to habitually play with the fabric of his suit tie.

“So, let me have some me-time every once in a while," he continued.

‘You never let us have any me-time—’ is what you could feel the hoard of tired students internally screaming around you.

The aged man cleared his throat and set along to once again resume his lengthy ramble.

“Where was I?” he asked himself, his feet already departing from his standstill position in the middle of the room as he started walking about once more.

“Ah yes, so it seemed logical that these lights shaped everything else in our lives. But with the scientific method disproving all these theories, why do people still look for meaning in the stars?”

A hand shot up in the air once again, only to be shot back down by a quick hand gesture from the professor.

“Calm down now, I’m not done yet,” he said.

“Many prolific historical figures of our kind, such as the Iikes of William Shakespeare, have used the concept of astrology as a metaphorical expression, more than an actual study. Whether or not he truly believed in it, he still used the idea of astrology to create some of his most well-known epigrams to date,” he continued.

“With lines such as; ‘These late eclipses in the sun and moon portend no good to us.’ from King Lear, ‘A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life.’ from Romeo and Juliet— I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with that one." He faced the students once more. "And my utmost favorite, ‘The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars—’”

“But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

“—From Julius Caesar,” the professor smiled. “Well done, Miss L/N.”

Shock settled into your form, having realized that you had said that much louder than you had anticipated. Now with the burning stares of your classmates and uncontrolled laughter coming from a seatmate you used to call your best friend, you let out an exasperated sigh, head falling onto your desk and arms protecting you from the unfiltered judgment of the outside world.

You sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time that day before finally coming out of hiding, your chin once again finding shelter in your welcoming palm. You stared down at your open notebook, observing each line and angle. Stared at the drawings of orbits clashing together with the unwelcome intrusion of jotted scientific equations. A picture of the sun as each planet aligned themselves accordingly within their rotation, along with the lengthy compound formula of 4 Bromo, 3-4 Dichloro, Ethyl Hexanoate, written briskly, and uncared for.

But despite your apparent unhappiness and deep-rooted sorrow, you lifted your head forward and listened to the lesson in front of you.

"You seriously need to loosen up," said Kai, her head faced towards you. "When was the last time you danced to music alone in your bedroom?"

You thought about it for a second.

She sighed.

"You're so sad," she sighed once more and patted your head. "Poor baby."

She brought her hand down from the crown of your head, arm now resting on your shoulders as she brought you in closer.

"I'm gonna get you laid tonight," she said with conviction. You looked at her profile, absolutely bewildered.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"That's right," she nodded her head in content. "You're having sex tonight, just leave it to me."

"Shouldn't we work on having me dance to music alone in my bedroom first?" you countered.

"Even better," she grinned at you with the type of grin your primary teachers warned you about. You know, those creepy man smiles that you should run away from when faced with in a dark, ominous alley? "I'm taking you to a bar."

You could feel Mrs. Peterson screaming at you to run.

But nobody really listened to Mrs. Peterson. Sorry.

You sighed once more at your beaming friend and nodded your head slowly.

"Whatever," you finally said. Attention spanning back to the lecture in front of you as you turned your head. "After the class ends."

Kai smiled and leaned back into her chair, legs crossing and folded arms supporting her head from behind. She looked utterly satisfied.

"Alright Karen," she said.

"My name is not Karen," you grumbled.

"Then stop being such a Karen and let me have my fun," she closed her eyes and smiled. Totally abandoning the lecture playing out before her. Chemistry was all just a bunch of bullshit anyway.

scene two; black eyes

Ambient lighting and muffled voices were what greeted you and Kai as you both entered the bar. The light that shone down above you cast an evanescent sheen across the tiny, hidden bar.

You fumbled in with your red dress and heeled boots, bridging the edge of comfortable and painfully exposed. It’s been years since you've last worn a dress.

"Are you sure this isn't some kind of ancient speakeasy?" you asked Kai, uneasy.

"A speakeasy for bands and stuff sure," she shrugged. "Sadly, no dancing flapper girls, so sorry to disappoint."

You nodded and started heading towards the bar. No matter how badly you wanted to keep up the 'holier than thou' attitude, college was rough and unforgiving.

You ordered your drink and sat down on the stool, Kai following you shortly after as she sat beside you.

"I heard there's gonna be a good band playing tonight," she rings up the bartender and orders a drink.

She takes one look at your drooping face and sighed, her hand coming up to massage your shoulder.

"Loosen up," she takes a sip from her drink, "just for tonight, okay?"

You sighed and nodded timidly, copying her as you took a swig of your own drink.

"Looks like they're almost up," she taps your shoulder. "Mr. Compress is about to introduce them."

"Mister wha—" she shushes you before you could continue, leaving you no other choice but to sigh and watch.

The man with the strange name took center-stage with the microphone in his hand. The crowd seemed to know who he was, for they cheered and started gathering at the front of the stage.

"Let's go take a closer look too," Kai stood up and started dragging you with her. "Take your drink with you."

You looked at the already half-empty glass and shrugged, opting to chug it down instead. You finished your drink and walked with Kai towards the pit of people, still confused about what exactly was going on.

The strangely named man started to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he threw his free hand in the air by his side flamboyantly. "What an incredible pleasure to have you all here tonight. I am delighted to see some familiar faces, and some new ones too."

He grinned.

"I'm sure a lot of you are here to relieve some stress, no?" he asked, and the crowd cheered in affirmation. The man chuckled and continued;

"Well, I best not keep my wonderful patrons waiting then." The crowd cheered louder. "Without further delay, may I present to you, The Villain League!"

The crowd roared as four people took the stage, varied instruments at their disposal, but the one that caught your eye was the one that stood at the center, a guitarist, and a good looking one at that.

He was mostly dressed in dark clothing, aside from the white t-shirt he wore under his long coat. His features were hidden beneath the shadow cast by the dimmed lights.

And that was when the music started.

Electric guitar blinded your senses and opened your eyes. The exhilarating sound numbed the nerves that coursed through your entire body. Every hair on your body stood on its roots, awakened by the new thrill of music.

The lights turned on to the max, and the crowd went wild. Hands flew up in the air, the drinks in the opposite limb gambling on the edge of death.

It was music like you've never heard before.

"Holy shit," you said to yourself, the alcohol in your system taking its effect.

The man in the middle started singing, and you gasped as you took in the rest of his features. A good portion of his face and neck were covered in burn marks, as well as the top of his torso, which then spread across his arms. You awed.

How could someone who looked so damaged be so perfect?

Your eyes watched in wonder as your ears listened with delight. You made a mental note to thank Kai for dragging you into one of the best nights of your life.

So this is what college was supposed to be like.

You smiled, feeling the bricks fall off your shoulders. You stood straighter as your eyes opened wider, and shined even brighter.

This is so awesome.

You threw your hands in the air and let out a scream with the rest of the crowd. Kai catches sight of this and follows along with your mania, a laugh escaping her lips.

You were enjoying the aura of absolute chaos, but nothing had prepared you the moment your eyes caught his, staring right back at you. His mouth formed a devilish smile that made all the heat rush through your body in mere seconds.

"The girl in the red dress," he said into the microphone. Your eyes widened in unalloyed shock as they caught sight of the mischievous glint in his own. "Come out on stage with us."

What the fuck?

The crowd cheered louder and started to look around to find who he was referring to. They soon caught sight of you, who was still calculating the odds of you being the only girl in red.

The sea of people parted and formed a direct path from you to the stage, and you were honestly shell shocked.

Kai laughed and cheered you on.

"Congrats Karen, you've officially been promoted to Moses!" she cheered even louder.

"What, I—" you sputtered out.

Kai took her left hand and smacked your back, forcing you to stumble forward.

"Go!" she yelled at you through the howls of the crowd. "Get. Fucking. Laid!"

At that, the crowd burst into an explosion of screams. Whistles and hoots were all that was heard as your shaking legs made its way towards the stage.

You eventually made it to the edge, and the enigmatic guitarist leaned down to help you. Grasping your hand firmly in his, he hoisted you up easily.

"What's your name?" he leaned into your ear as he said it, his steady voice combating all other noises, and winning.

"Y/N," you said right back into his ear, a shiver coursing through your body as the current situation was doing its number on your sanity.

"Nice shoes Y/N," he said cooly, and your head started spinning.

"Uh, thank you—"

"Let's have a good time together," he smirked at you, who blushed madly.

You looked over at the rest of his bandmates. A young girl with a blonde fringe manning the second electric guitar, she looked at you and grinned widely at you. Eyes smiled shut and tongue jutting out, she threw you a peace sign in welcome.

You looked behind you and saw a strange-looking man playing both the bass and keyboard. You made eye contact with him and he smiled, only for him to completely change his expression and give you the stink-eye, much to your confusion and anxiety.

Finally, you looked over at the drummer who had dead-looking baby blue hair; he glanced at you and nodded briefly in acknowledgment.

"Don't mind the last two," the mysterious guitarist chuckled, "they're a lot more decent than they seem."

You nodded and smiled at him.

"So," he started. "Care to join in on the fun?"

You took a deep breath.

"Okay."

It was funny how you had started with not even being able to dance alone in your room. And now here you were, dancing along with countless strangers to music you never felt before.

scene three; ilysb

"You're new here, right?" the man said. He was sitting across from you with his head resting on his hand. His piercing blue eyes were focused only on you.

It had been about an hour since you stepped foot inside the hidden bar and thirty minutes since you were standing on stage with the band having the time of your life.

You looked over to the stage and saw your drunk friend Kai singing 'I Kissed a Girl,' microphone in her hands as she belted her heart out to the cheering crowd.

You couldn't help but chuckle, before turning your attention back to the enigmatic man staring intently at you.

"That's not slightly creepy at all," you answered jokingly.

The man chuckled slyly.

"I play here almost every night," he retorted coolly. "I would have definitely remembered you if you weren't new."

You nodded. Smooth.

"Fuck men!" you turned around to find Kai screaming into the microphone, one hand on the microphone stand and the other on the microphone itself. You sighed at the common occurrence.

"Fun friend you got," the man with burn marks said, attention also brought over to your crazed friend.

You sighed and nodded.

"I'm this close to dropping her," you said with no conviction.

He seemed to have caught on to your tone and answered accordingly.

"But you never will," he said.

"Yup," you nodded once more.

You looked over to him again, the alcohol in your body taking full effect.

"Wanna get out of here?" you asked him.

He looked at you with his eyebrow raised, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"And abandon your fun friend?" he asked you.

"Yes," you looked at him straight in the eyes as you said it.

"Sounds fun," he said, already standing up from his seat.

You followed suit, casting your drunk friend one last look before following the strange man out of the small speakeasy.

The cold night air greeted your body that clung tightly onto the limited warmth of your sweater jacket. You walked idly with the man standing beside you, the streets painted a dark vignette by the evening sky. The night suited him, you thought.

You let out a deep exhale which invaded the darkness with its cold color, the hues fighting until the dull white was engulfed by the overwhelming darkness of nightfall.

You looked up at the stars that were scattered across the sky, their white twinkle enrapturing the night sky with its light and color. Their light so bright that it couldn't be overthrown by the darkness of black. Instead, they were displayed up in the sky, allowed to show off their beauty with no restraints.

"Orion's in the sky," you observed quietly.

The man turned over to look at you.

"The constellation?" he asked as he too tilted his head up to watch the night sky.

"Yeah," you nodded, "I can't find the Pleiades, though."

Absentmindedly, your feet started moving in hopes to catch sight of the constellation. The dark-haired man watched you quizzically.

"Do you really think moving around will make them appear?" he asked you, who was now trudging farther and farther away. He sighed and started following you.

"There're so many buildings around," you groaned in your drunken state. "Can't a girl just see her stars when she wants to?"

He tilted his head in slight amusement and chuckled lowly.

"If it's the buildings you're worried about, I know where there's a field," he said. You turned around instantly.

"Show me this field, good sir."

"It's this way," he tilted his head over to the right, feet already walking towards its direction. You followed him, skipping.

You eventually were led towards an open field located on a small hill in the park. Wow, we had a park?

"Woah," you said in wonder. Your arms flying up from your sides as you spun around the grass, hair dancing in the breeze from your movements.

The man just watched you curiously, a small smile of endearment flickering on his lips.

You let out a big sigh of contempt and threw yourself down onto the grass floor, feeling at peace as the earthly bodies embraced you. The man who led you here followed suit, leaving little to no distance between your two figures as he laid down beside you.

"Can you see the Pleiades now?" he asked from beside you.

You looked up and examined the heavens, and your eye immediately catches the open star cluster that painted the sky. A gasp escapes your lips as you point up at the constellation you were looking for.

"There they are!" you squealed slightly, unable to control your excitement in your drunken state.

"Why'd you want to see them so badly?" he looked at you and asked.

"If you catch sight of Orion, then you're most likely gonna find the Pleiades too." You started, eyes focused eagerly on the stars. "There's this whole story behind them you know, about Orion and the Seven Sisters.

"It was said by Greek mythology that Orion fell in love with the sisters, and pined over them for 12 years. He would always chase after them in hopes that they would become his someday. But that was until one day Zeus decided to turn him and the sisters into stars. So Orion could chase them forever for the rest of eternity but never once be able to touch them."

"Wow," he said from beside you.

"Yeah," you said from beside him.

"You said they were the Seven Sisters," he said.

"Yeah?" you turned your head over to look at him, his eyes seemingly glowing under the star studded sky.

"But I can only see six at most," he stated.

"Oh," you turned your head back to the sky. "That's because those are the only ones visible to the naked eye. If you look through a telescope, a dozen more stars are visible."

"Is there a story behind that, too?" he asked.

"Yup," you stated and continued. "According to storytellers, Merope— one of the sisters, is hiding her face because she's the only one of the sisters who married a mortal and thus isn't respected for it.

"Her husband, Sisyphus isn't represented in the night sky either, cause he was condemned by Zeus to forever roll a stone up a hill in Hades only to watch it roll down again when he almost gets it to the top."

"That's..." his voice drifted off, "really sad."

You hummed in affirmation.

"You really like astronomy, huh?" he stated. "I'm assuming you're into astrology too?"

"Yeah," you answered.

"So, you're some type of zodiac girl," he said. "How quirky."

You scoffed.

"What type of music are you into?" he suddenly changed the subject, surprising you.

"I don't listen to music that much honestly," you said, surprising him, but not showing it on his face.

"Okay," he said. "Very quirky."

You laughed at yourself.

"Are you okay?" he asked you jokingly, maybe the alcohol was finally starting to get to him too. "Childhood trauma? Emotional baggage? Crazy ex-boyfriend?"

"Traumatizing college life," you said matter-of-factly. "And also just downright not having the time to listen to music."

"Spotify's expensive, too," you added.

"Ever heard of a radio?" he asked.

"Yes, but I can never concentrate on studying when music is on," you said.

"Ah," he said in a moment of realization. "It all makes perfect sense now. What's your major?"

"Organic chemistry," you said.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Makes sense."

"Kindly enlighten me then, cause I can't make sense of anything going on in my life," you said.

"You're a young adult suffering from the expectations and academically-focused constructs of our society," he said.

"Damn," you started. "You're right."

You sighed and placed your attention back at the azure before you.

"The moon's crying," you stated.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"The moon feels sad," you answered vaguely.

"The moon is sad," he stated beside you, eyes now focused onto the heavenly body in question. "The moon's just a broken planet that needs the sun to make it shine."

"Just because it needs help doesn't mean their shine is any less beautiful," you said back.

A long silence passed between the two of you, he looked at you, whose focus was still set onto the night sky. Whatever had you so enchanted by them, he might never know, but as he watched your features bloom with the ethereal sparkle of night, the twinkle in your eyes matching— no, outshining that of the stars you looked so fondly upon, he just sighed softly.

"Whatever you say, zodiac girl."

scene four; still with you

You were walking home with him in the cold night air, wind dancing softly around both of your figures as the gentle shrill tickled your senses.

It was colder than usual, you thought. But maybe that was just from the thrill of not spending your nights like you usually did, alone in your bedroom studying a topic you couldn't care less about. You sighed.

When was the last time you were able to lay down on your bed listening to music?

You were grateful for Kai, who you just realized had been abandoned at the bar she forced you into. You prayed for your survival the following day. You say that, but in the end, you were nonetheless thankful for giving you a college experience other than cramming every day.

You thought about what you would have been doing if you weren't forced into the bar, and laughed at the predictability.

You finally made it to your front door.

"Goodnight," the blue-eyed man said to you.

"Yeah," you said back. "Thanks for walking me home."

He nodded and watched as you made your way over to your front door.

You stopped.

You didn't know if it was the alcohol in your system, the cold night air, the thrilling atmosphere of spontaneity, or all of the above. But right now, you weren't in the mood to answer any multiple-choice questions.

You wanted to live for once. You wanted to feel anything else other than the dread of an upcoming deadline or relief after a grueling exam.

For once, you wanted— needed to be free of the expectations and academically-centered constructs of society. Constructs that you never wanted to question until now.

Even if it was only for tonight, you wanted to do the thing you wanted to do.

Even if it turns into a mistake, you would gladly take it for a few minutes of freedom.

You turned around and ran towards the man whose names you realized you didn't even know. But you were too far gone to be stopped.

Your hands found the side of his face and pulled your faces close, eyes meeting and lips almost touching. You breathed nervously.

"Can I kiss you?" you asked suddenly.

Shock and confusion flickered before his eyes but disappeared just as quickly.

"Sure—" he said, and your lips finally connected.

The kiss lasted for mere seconds until you pulled away, flustered and drunk and confused.

What were you doing?

You turned back around to enter your home and scream at yourself.

How could you just throw yourself at him like that?

But suddenly, his hand grabbed your arm and pulled you back towards him, connecting your lips once more. You could have sworn you melted.

The kiss lasted much longer, lips moving against one another and breaths being mixed together in the cold night outside your apartment building. Your hands in his hair and his arms around your shaking frame.

You pulled away to catch your breath, your air puffing up in the chilly twilight.

You pulled onto the sleeve of his jacket and led him towards your apartment, rushing past the other tenants and employees, you quickly got on the elevator where more kisses were exchanged in a drunken haze.

The elevator doors opened, and the two of you rushed out with you guiding him to your door.

You hurriedly put in your key, hands slightly shaking, the door opens and you hastily go inside.

He comes into your small apartment and closes the door with his foot, the door meeting the frame with a soft thud. He pushes you against the wall and your lips meet once again.

You didn't know how much time had passed with his lips moving against yours and hands roaming across your body, the contact sending both heat and shivers to course through your entire being.

His lips moved to your jaw, slowly making its journey down to your neck. Your breath hitched.

Some more time passed with low moans and heavy breathing coming from the both of you, now laying on your twin-sized bed half-naked.

You looked out the window beside your bed and saw the stars and moon staring back at you, illuminating your figures in its magical glow.

It was like time didn't exist when you were engulfed in his arms, his lips peppering your body in kisses and bite marks causing you to moan softly. You wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling, with the moonlight shining softly on his features.

Your hands found themselves buried in his soft hair, time passing by faster as more clothes were being discarded around you.

"Y/N..." he said your name softly. His light voice passes by you, sending shivers down your spine.

Your breath hitched. Having no name to call out to, you whimpered instead. Your bodies intertwined together under the dim light of your apartment, and your heart taking timid steps towards him, tripping and falling deeper and deeper.

It was colder than usual, the low-pitched hum of the air conditioner you forgot to turn off comforting you from afar. Your body shivered more, not used to the sensations. It felt good, it felt really good, but there was something about it that pained you and made you want to fall apart.

The unfamiliarity of the pleasure and sweat clouded your mind and made you think back to the times when you were studying instead. This was far different than the dull absence your mind feels when reviewing all your lessons. But even then, thinking back to the simple emotions that came from your textbooks and notes, maybe these simple feelings were special to you too.

The night progressed further, and time was lost once and for all in the midst of your shared pleasure, the night turning darker as the sparkling sky glowed onto your sweaty figures.

You both reached your climax and breathed heavily, eyes meeting and foreheads touching in what seemed like a hazy afterglow, both your minds fogged and judgments clouded.

Your hand delicately went up to touch his cheek, his eyes shimmering in the glow of the night sky. He looked at you with the faintest smile. Underneath it was painted the most beautiful purple, his broken and damaged face sending your heart into a fit of shooting stars.

His body collapsed next to you on the small bed, arms encasing you tightly against his warm body.

You looked over to the window beside your bed. The sun was slowly rising, and the moon began to fade away into the brightening sky.

You felt your eyes slowly closing, finally giving in to the sleep you denied yourself all night.

Goodbye moon.

And just as the moon left your sky that February sunrise, so did the man who slept next to you that very next day.

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