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laventadorn · 4 months ago

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This is half about danmei, which isn't the main or even tertiary purpose of this blog, BUT also half about writing in general, so here I stick it.

I've been reading danmei since 2020 but I've really struggled to write anything for it. If i measure success by just getting something going, the fic I'm currently working on is the most "successful" venture I've had. It took me ages to even crank out the opening scenes. Despite longing to write in the New Hyperfixation for a long time, I just couldn't grok it.

Initially I thought it was unfamiliarity with the background of the culture the media was based in. With HP, for example, there is a whole lot of English culture that's easily accessible to me, and I studied British literature in school for years. Obviously this isn't the same thing as being English, but it gave me enough of a background to fake it that once when i applied to a graduate program in England, they thought I was actually English.

But with china, there is so much I don't understand and can't access in the same way, so I thought perhaps that was the problem.

But now I'm thinking it's more about the literary approach.

The tradition I learned to write in is one of realism. I often cite Jane Austen as my favorite author; she was a writer of realism: people, situations, and style are all as close to reality as possible. She was actually one of the most hard-line realist writers of the time, even meticulously accurate in minutiae such as how long it took to travel between cities, or when you could reasonably expect to receive a letter. The way she renders character is also heavily based in the psychology of real people, especially in the latter half of her career. And I love the psychology of character. Nothing interests me more as a reader or a writer. It's what I use as a foundation for writing: how to render people and their emotional responses within a tradition of realism, so that they feel (as much as possible, given that i also love fantasy) like genuine human beings.

But this is not, in my experience of it, what Chinese BL is about.

Now, the first of my caveats is that plenty of western media isn't, either (though fandom tends to be obsessed with it to the point of mania, where a character's psychology is microscopically detailed, in particular their responses to trauma). But western media often maintains a veneer of it -- my favorite marvel movie is Captain America: the Winter Soldier, which features Steve feeling purposeless and empty in a world he no longer fits in. (And then his internal conflict is symbolically made external with the reappearance of his dearest friend, whose mind has been wiped to forget him.) That whole movie revolves around Steve's psychology. And that's a big budget blockbuster movie chock full of punchy, blow-uppy action scenes. It still finds time to make a character feel depressed and lost.

(They then did absolutely nothing interesting with it, but you know. They had a single moment.)

To a certain extent, if western media is character based, it has to explore the characters' mental state, and tries to do so in a way that enlightens both the audience and the character, opening up their dark parts and forcing them to change. We probably have Joseph Campbell to thank for a lot of this; his Hero's Journey was modeled heavily on the works of Carl Jung, the psychologist. In fact, Carl Jung was hugely influential in English-speaking literary criticism of the 1970's. (I say "English speaking" because that's the only field I'm familiar with.) To give you the biggest example I know of, Ursula K. le Guin's phenomenal Earthsea trilogy is steeped in Jungian psychology, no book more so than the opening novel, A Wizard of Earthsea. The climax of that novel blew my mind, by the way.

My second caveat is this: it's not that the patterns of Chinese BL don't have character work, or that they aren't concerned with the character's interiority. With my fixation on character, if those things were entirely absent, I wouldn't be reading these books. It's more that the media tradition of hyper-focus on the characters' mental state, the delicate unfolding of their psychology, is not what drives the media. The characters do suffer, and they have feelings and desires, but they are often preternaturally strong-willed and able to withstand horrific trauma while still maintaining their sense of self.

(Two characters really come to mind. One is Chang Geng from Sha Po Lang, whose "mother" repeatedly puts him through such intense physical and psychological abuse in his childhood that you wonder how anyone could possibly stay sane. But he's also been injected with a magical poison that will drive him insane, and gives him bloody nightmares every night, and requires him to drink blood -- you get the idea. The other is Gu Mang from Yuwu: Remnants of Filth, who goes through things that are just mind-bogglingly Yiiiikes. Each of them feels the pain, but realism isn't where we're trying to arrive at, because it would be impossible for a real person to hold it together under the things they endured. But neither of them is supposed to be like a real person. Chang Geng, Gu Mang, is supposed to be more.)

Nothing is always. To use the novel I'm writing for as an obvious example toward some measure of realism, Xie Lian spends Book 4 being deeply traumatized; it's part of his character journey and essential to the plot. But his character psychology is still not based in realism. It wasn't designed to be. MXTX herself said in her afterword for TGCF that neither Hua Cheng nor Xie Lian were remotely like real people, because they weren't supposed to be. They were supposed to be larger than life, more than mere existence.

So when I am puttering around with my Psychology of the Individual writing tool, I get a bit wrong-footed because the entire way that I approach writing does not seamlessly settle into this brave new frontier. How can I realistically explore the emotions and mind of people who are not written to be like real people at all? That's what's truly been stumping me.

#laventadorn dot txt #if i said something dumb about danmei just take it with a grain of extrapolating from a small sample size #with a basis in my own literary traditions that imperfectly understand those of a different culture #just trying to diagnose myself and figure out where the Issues are this time #i also had problems cracking into star wars and honestly #even though that's a western media #i think it was a lot of the exact same issue with me #i.e. the realism smashing up against the very not realism #since star wars is hugely archetypal and archetypes work in symbols not realism

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olderthannetfic · 1 year ago

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RE: other anon talking about western fans' need to attribute danmei tropes to mxtx.

A lot of it feels like a common symptom of "baby's first x" wherein these fans don't have much exposure to wuxia or xianxia outside of danmei, and MXTX is the most popular danmei author in the west right now as danmei slowly grows more popular in the west (for better or worse... but definitely worse imo). It became more apparent when I saw someone say they believed Meatbun copied MXTX because of the common tropes in Erha and SVSSS. However, there are a lot of stories like this in the genre where a disciple pines over their deceased shizun (or shixiong or shijie in baihe) and the older character in the pairing bottoms. Even with just that description, someone could be talking about Erha, SVSSS, Everyday the Protagonist Wants to Capture Me, The Daily Task of Preventing My Disciple from Turning to the Dark Side, Poison of the Human Panacea, Mistakenly Saving the Villain, or My White Lotus Master Wants To Be A Villain. But that's literally the trope! It's an inversion of generational power/hierarchal dynamics between the characters and historical settings. Hence, shizun/shixiong/shijie always bottoms. This is something Chinese fans always know going into it, and in cases where shizun/shixiong/shijie don't bottom it gets shocked reactions from readers. This is just one example, but there are, similarly, set rules or tropes in place in western romances, too. Ideally these new fans would be quiet and lurk while reading more stories and building more knowledge of the genre conventions, but for whatever reason (ethnocentrism) they don't.

Don't worry! People are absolute morons about "X copied Y!" for Western media as well, right up to and including "Wow, that sounds like the plot of my favorite movie" when someone describes whatever historical novel their favorite movie is a retelling of.

People are just very, very dumb, I am sorry to say.

Also, that trope is the best. :D :D :D

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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Spoiler for Jujutsu Kaisen

I'm sorry it's so long and looks like a vent post. I'm sorry for those of you who had great luck in avoiding Jujutsu Kaisen until now. With that, let me give some context before the assholery.

Jujutsu Kaisen has a breakout character, Gojo, he is unique, flawed, well written, well loved, overpowered, and the most misunderstood character in this series. He recently met his end in the most infuriating way possible. It was an unceremonious death, off screened, after the biggest most violent battle in the series. Before he was brutally offed with just meaningless exposition detailing how he was killed and him uncharacteristically justifying the death in an afterlife scene that's written to appease a large part of the fandom (shippers- he's gay coded, no waifu here). His death completely destroyed his legacy and the future of this manga.

Problem: This is a popular series with disproportionate numbers of haters, casual fans, fans who get their information from tiktok or fanworks instead of the manga, fans who did a surface level reading of it, opinionated fans who didn't read after a certain point but discuss every new chapter like they're experts, people who hate it because they compared it to their favorite series and Jujutsu Kaisen didn't go that way, people who harass the readers and wish bodily harm on the author for not conforming to FANON, the works.

Gojo was MIA for almost 3 years which made fanon takeover the fandom, when he came back the author was accused of mischaracterization and bad writing because he didn't match 3 years of fanon. Reiterating, I mean fanon not headcanon, the headcanons here are almost all fanon based too and you will get nasty anons if you say you dislike FANON or praise CANON but I believe in people's right to headcanon.

My relationship with this: I've been a fan since 2019, this character of Gojo resonated with me like no one did in my 20+ years in fandom, he is my specialest blorbo, his relationship with his best friend has moved me etc. I'm autistic and this is my special interest as well. Needless to say depression has hit me like a freight train.

MY problem: My friend of 7 years who's currently deeply into yuri and danmei, who shared many fandoms with me, has been through the thick and thins with me, has decided to make me an enemy. When the chapter came out he chatted with me sent his condolences. Then he in his own social medias started talking about how he knew it was going to be a bad series, how he's glad he quit after struggling through 50 chapters, made all the jokes in the world about this death, discussed every little thing he hated and mocked this with his other weeb friends who are like the people I mentioned in the Problem section, validated all their complaints based on their reading of the FANON. He has had many discussions with me about this manga and very rarely did he express any of this negativity.

My assholery: I got frustrated, it was like he wanted me to see how much he could hurt me. I messaged him saying, "Hey what are you saying here, that's not how this character is written. The chapter is bad but this criticism is baseless and in bad faith" He laughed it off, "It's not that deep, this is fiction." I argued that's a shallow thing to say, he said it should have been like FANON since that makes more sense. I said that's conventional writing I thought we wanted different things than the same old nice characters in found family and such.

Then I said something about his favorites and hypocrisy, he said he's not so into it that he couldn't take criticism. I said that was a lie he's always writing essays about those characters. I also said criticize it for the right reasons damn it. He kept denying his own love for his fave so he could keep criticizing mine, because he at least had the sense to not fall for a shounen series. I asked if he was enjoying hurting me. He said are you for real, get a grip and stop justifying your behavior for fiction, they won't giving you cookies for defending them, if you can't bear to see negativity then feel free to mute or block. I snapped and said this is why no one likes casual fans, you can't keep your mouth shut about things you don't know. Have fun with being a two faced friend to everyone. Then I blocked him everywhere.

Some of my friends said I should have muted him long ago, I said this was inevitable if he was just going to validate everyone in vicinity, he had to pick a side. Others said I was right to tell him off. I regret some of the comments I made now.

AITA for the way I handled it? He is right, I could have muted him, I could have not spent my time doomscrolling and seeing all the bad takes he agreed with. I could have waited it out and not dropped an old friend over fiction. I could have done many things.

Please don't comment about touching grass, that's the least helpful thing anyone can say on blorbo the website. It's not a real advice we all know that. Therapy is also there for the depression and it will take years for me to get over the death, you don't need to remind me.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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frostfires-blog · 18 days ago

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Hi again!

Don't worry about being new in MXTX works, better be late than never, right?

Your post of MXTX side ships is my favorite Valentine gift. Thanks for sharing them! 🥰🤩

I'm so glad you also love Lan Shizui/Jin Ling (Jin Ling is in my top 5 fav MDZS characters, best boy). So ZhuiLing is my no 3 fav ship from all MXTX side ships. 🌷

And I'm with you, BeefLeaf (He Xuan/Shi Qingxuan) is also my no 1 fav MXTX side ships. Their relationship is so bittersweet. And also because Shi Qingxuan is in my top 5 fav TGCF characters (they're so lovely). 🍖🍃

PeiHuang (Pei Ming/Yushi Huang) is my no 4 fav MXTX side ships, just love their interactions so much. 💐

I'm so excited you include QuanYin (Quan Yizhen/Yin Yu), too.....They're my no 5 fav MXTX aide ships. I can totally relate to Yin Yu. Quan Yizhen really frustate me but at the same time I care for him and can't hate him....

But for my no 2 fav MXTX side ships, is XueXiao (Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen). Sorry, I know it's a toxic ship but I can't help but love their dynamic and the potential ship there (The Untamed really made me ship them harder).

When I found your blog and read your posts, I got so excited...! Thanks to you, I reread all 3 MXTX works and have a great time. They will always have special place in my heart. Also, I've been sending that MXTX Ask Game to some other people and from all, your answer is my favorite. It's so beautiful and very detailed (always a joy to read them).

As a fan of MXTX works, I never really knew about the meaning of the flowers in the works, until I read your posts. Thanks again for sharing this info.

Okay, it's random, but if you can choose what flowers that remind you some of your favorite characters from TGCF, MDZS, & SVSSS, what will they be? Why?

Oh, and thanks a lot for informing about TGCF OVA, I really love it (but yeah, too short). If not from you, I even don't know about the OVA.

If you want to try other danmei novels, here are some of my favorite (sorry if you don't like either of them) :

- The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha)

If you want to read this, prepare for the angst (with a happy ending). For about the first 50 chapters (at least), you'll hate the MC for what he did to the ML. Because really what he did is unforgivable (oh yeah, don't forget to read the TWs). But as the story goes, you'll understand why he became like that and you'll start to like him gradually. And at the end, it's impossible to still hate him (yes, including me, at the end, I love him, too). For the ML, how can anyone dislike him, really? Even after everything (including the worst) that the MC did to him, he still love him and never hate him until the end. Their love is so beautiful. This series should have live action drama but got canceled (so sad).

- Legend of Exorcism (Tian Bao Fu Yao)

I think you'll love this most, because other than the romance, the story also have focus on the friendship between this group (the MC, ML with their group of friends). The fantasy aspect and the adventure in here are amazing. So in this story, there is another canon m/m side ship (with beautiful story, too). Bonus of why I think this series is special, when I know that the author is gay himself (that is a very brave thing to do because China is still very strong in censorship). This series also have 2 seasons of donghua and manhua (discontinued).

- Run Wild : Sa Ye

It's modern setting about 2 guys who each have their own problems and somehow when they found each other, it's the best thing ever happen to them. And the ML's little sister is great! This series have manhua (ongoing), too. Actually this series also have donghua but got cancelled (sad).

- The Fourteenth Year of Chenghua (The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty)

Now, because you're a fan of Apothecary Diaries, I think, you'll love this, too. The MC is really smart in helping to solve various cases in the palace (also he is a foodie). The ML is a serious type but totally whipped for the MC (in his own way). They have the Live Action drama (a bit different because of censorship but still great series).

- This Villain Emperor's Gotta Charm the Male Lead to Survive! (How to Survive as a Villain)

The MC will remind you of Shen Yuan and the ML is kinda like Lan Wangji, so you can imagine their dynamic will be. It's a great series, you'll laugh and also be sad at certain moments.

In this story, also have canon f/f and other m/m side ships (love them)! This series have manhua (complete) adaptation.

Sorry for this long ask, hope you don't mind. Again, I'm sorry because I'm not really good at writing reviews to make something look interesting (I wish I can write at least half as good as you).

P.s

I watched Apothecary Diaries thanks to you, I love it! You're so right, now that I think about it, JinMao really remind me of Pei Ming/Yushi Huang!

Hi, thanks for sending in another ask! I don't know if I can call myself new to the MXTX works? While I haven't properly ventured into other danmei, I've been an MXTX fan for around 4 years now... I started with the MDZS donghua in 2021 but only read the novels after watching the TGCF donghua in 2022. Given the complexity of the series' plot points and characters, it took some time for me to feel comfortable analysing them—especially considering how much I struggled with the names of characters and places. However, I understand that many MXTX fans have been around since before the novels were officially published in English, so I suppose I could be categorised as a newer fan...

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On another note, I'm glad you appreciated the post I did about my favourite MXTX side ships! I was actually really worried people wouldn't be happy about some of my choices... A) Lan Shizhui × Jin Ling was one of the ships I thought might provoke negativity, so I'm happy to have found someone else who ships them as well! I didn't know they had a ship name, "Zhuiling" sounds so adorable! Jin Ling is one of my top five favourite MDZS characters too. I really feel like he's inherited all of the best traits of Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, which is why I love him so much. B) Beefleaf haunts me every day... Both Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan are in my top 5 favourite TGCF characters list so I suppose it's not surprising that Beefleaf is my favourite side ship haha... C) I can't wait until we get to see PeiHuang and QuanYin interact in the donghua and manhua! I really hope the donghua adds in additional scenes like what they did with the Fang Xin Guoshi Arc... I totally relate to your feelings about Yin Yu and Quan Yizhen. Also thank you for teaching me all of these new ship names! It's so much more convenient than having to type out both characters' names every time. D) Even though I prefer SongXiao, I totally understand why people ship XueXiao. I'm convinced that Xue Yang harboured intense romantic affections for Xiao Xingchen—however, these sentiments were inextricably entangled with sinister undertones of possession, obsession, and vengeance. Xiao Xingchen clearly enjoyed Xue Yang's company before the big reveal—so If things had gone down differently, they could've been something. I favour SongXiao because I idealise the concept that your love for someone inspires you to become a better person and said person brings out your best qualities. While XueXiao had the ability to achieve that, Xue Yang chose to try to bring Xiao Xingchen down to his level instead. It's an interesting subversion of the aforementioned trope, so part of me does ship them—but I more so much gravitate towards SongXiao since they also have that bittersweet feeling but there's more sweetness than bitterness.

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I really enjoyed answering the MXTX Ask Game you sent me. I'm glad you liked the response I gave—given my tendency to overexplain things I worried you'd think I rambled too much... People in my personal life tell me I over-analyze things—especially when it comes to symbolism in fictional works. So, seeing how much you all appreciate my hanakotoba posts makes me immensely happy.

I've pondered the concept of using flowers to represent MXTX characters before—although it's quite difficult to separate them from their pre-established, canonical symbolism. Xie Lian is canonically associated with several flowers—most notably snow lotuses, water lilies and peach blossoms. Hua Cheng is canonically associated with red spider lilies—and I've always thought that red camellias suited him as well. Wei Wuxian is canonically associated with lotuses and peonies—while Lan Wangji is associated with gentians, magnolias and peonies. Luo Binghe is canonically associated with black lotuses. I recently did a hanakotoba analysis of fan art that depicted the 6 main characters of MXTX's works as flowers. Most of the flowers chosen there either appear in the respective series or greatly suit the respective character. So, to make the most out of your question—and avoid rehashing information—I'll focus on side characters instead. I limited myself to five characters, each with two flowers chosen, because I didn't want this to be too long. When selecting flowers, I aimed to ensure that their meaning aligned with the character's personality and colour palette. Also, because it was difficult to reverse my research process—as I usually look for a flower's meaning rather than flowers with a specific meaning—these may not be the greatest potential choices... I also tried to mostly go for flowers I haven't covered yet since I'm sure everyone is sick of me rambling about the same ones haha...Hopefully, they meet your expectations...

1) Jiang Yanli × Lotus (Nelumbo nucifera) & Purple Cosmos (Cosmos sp.)

It's apparent that Jiang Yanli is canonically associated with lotus flowers. Her name "Yanli" (厌离) means "disliking separation" and the "he" (荷) in one of the Chinese names for lotuses "hé huā" (荷花) also means union. I've spoken in depth about this in my MDZS hanakotoba part 2 post. In Japanese hanakotoba, lotuses are associated with a pure heart, sacredness, perfection, beauty, grace, eloquence and departing love. In Western floriography, lotuses symbolise purity of the heart, chastity, virtue, innocence, eloquence, departed or estranged love, "bringing together separate things" and "beauty rising from humble beginnings". In China, lotuses symbolise elegance, beauty, wisdom, humility, grace, integrity, balance, harmony, serenity, and purity of the mind and heart. A single stem bearing two lotus flowers represents the desire for harmony and a shared heart while a lotus flower with a leaf and bud symbolises complete union. As a second option, I chose the cosmos flower since I wanted something delicate—in a pink or purple colour palette—that highlighted her compassion, sincerity, and kindness. In Japanese hanakotoba, cosmos flowers represent harmony, humility, purity, love, grace and "a maiden's sincerity". In Western floriography, cosmos flowers are associated with modesty, grace, harmony and "the joys that love and life" can bring. In China, cosmos flowers symbolise love, beauty, innocence, and purity.

2) Lan Yuan │ Lan Sizhui × Sweet Osmanthus (Osmanthus fragrans) & White Strawflower (Xerochrysum bracteatum)

Although Lan Sizhui hasn't been associated with any particular flower in the novel, he is depicted with sweet osmanthus flowers in this official artwork. Osmanthus flowers have been valued throughout Asia for centuries for their rich, apricot and peach-like aroma and are utilised in the preparation of tea, wine, medicine, and confections. In Japanese hanakotoba, osmanthus flowers represent humility, nobleness, honesty and first love. In Western floriography, osmanthus flowers symbolise humility, purity, love, dedication, peace and unwavering charm. In China, osmanthus flowers are associated with autumn, longevity, prosperity, loyalty, sincere love, nostalgia and good luck. As a second option, I chose the strawflower since I wanted a white or blue flower that would not only highlight his kindness, sincerity, integrity, and maturity but also his subtle playfulness and easy-going disposition. I mostly wanted something that could tie into the courtesy name "Sizhui" (思追), —which was chosen by Lan Wangji and means "to recollect and long for"—as his bond with Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian is an essential aspect of his character. Ultimately, I ended up choosing strawflowers also known as everlasting daisies. In Japanese hanakotoba, strawflowers are associated with eternal memory and everlasting joy. In Western floriography, strawflowers represent longevity, hope, undying love and remembrance.

3) Liu Qingge × Willow (Salix sp.) & Bluebird Columbine (Aquilegia sp.)

Although Liu Qingge is canonically paired with pine and willow trees, he isn't associated with any specific flowers, so I chose the bluebird columbine to symbolise him. When choosing a flower to symbolise him, I wanted something in a blue-grey and white palette that highlighted both his strength, resilience, and boldness, as well as his softer qualities such as his denseness, consideration, and loyalty. I also wanted to subtly hint at his ambiguous feelings for Shen Qingqiu. In the SVSSS novel, Liu Qingge's Bai Zhan Peak is stated to be full of pine trees. In Japanese hanakotoba and Western floriography, pines are associated with longevity, immortality, pity, sympathy and hope. In China, pines symbolise unwavering strength, resilience, longevity, evergreen sentiment, everlasting affection and endurance in adversity. His surname "Liu" (柳) means willow. In Japanese hanakotoba, willows are associated with freedom, obedience and the sadness of love. In Western floriography, willows are associated with bravery, forsaken love, melancholy, mourning, sorrow and freedom. In China, willows symbolise sorrow, longing, resilience, renewal, humility, friendship, lasting affection and "urging someone to stay". Bluebird columbine flowers symbolise denseness, resolve and determination to win in Japanese hanakotoba. In Western floriography, columbine flowers are associated with diligence, determination, tenacity, endurance, foolishness, courage, fidelity and love. In China, columbines symbolise valour and courage.

4) Shi Qingxuan │ Wind Master × Spring snowflake (Leucojum vernum) & Windflowers (Anemone sp.)

As far as I recall, Shi Qingxuan isn't canonically associated with any particular flower. When selecting flowers, I wanted something in white, green, or teal that highlighted his compassion, charisma, and integrity—while also reflecting his intricate relationship with Ming Yi/He Xuan and his tragic fate in the novel. In the end, I've chosen to go with spring snowflakes and white anemones. In Japanese hanakotoba, snowflake flowers represent an immaculate heart, purity, innocence and "charm that attracts everyone". In China, spring snowflakes symbolise purity, hope, courage and new life. In Western floriography, they symbolise innocence, purity, new beginnings, hope and "memories of youth". Anemones are also known as windflowers making them a fitting choice for Shi Qingxuan, the Wind Master. In Japanese hanakotoba, anemones are associated with ephemeral love, abandonment and the pain of love. White anemones in particular represent hope, expectation and truth. In Western floriography, anemones are associated with forsaken love, withered hope, anticipation, spring's arrival, "the fragility of life", and a loved one's death.

5) Yushi Huang │ Rain Master × Arum Lily (Zantedeschia aethiopica) & Baimo (Fritillaria verticillata)

Yushi Huang is also not canonically associated with any flowers—save for agricultural produce—so I've chosen arum lilies and baimo lilies. When choosing flowers to represent her, I wanted something associated with water that would highlight her humility, perseverance, and compassion. I opted for a green-and-white colour scheme, despite the donghua's blue-and-white colour palette, because her robes are described as verdant in the novel and blue flowers are uncommon. Arum lilies typically grow along streams and ponds; furthermore, a cultivar of the arum lily featuring green stripes around the borders of its flower is known as the "Green Goddess," making it a good fit for Yushi Huang, the goddess of rain and agriculture. In Japanese hanakotoba, arum lilies are associated with grace, purity, passion and splendid beauty. In Western floriography, arum lilies represent modesty, magnificence and feminine beauty. Baimo lilies are also called woven lilies because their mesh-patterned, downward-facing flowers resemble braided bamboo hats like the one Yushi Huang wears. In Japanese hanakotoba, baimo lilies are associated with a "humble heart" and talent. In Western floriography, baimo lilies symbolise humility, modesty, elegance, and grace.

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If you want to stay updated on the TGCF donghua-related information I'd advise you to follow the official official TGCF Twitter account. They post new official artwork, trailers and other promotional announcements there. I love the animated PVs they always release there. Of course, I'll try to post important updates here as well. Apparently, there's going to be another short film/OVA but I'm not sure when it'll be released. According to rumours, it's going to cover the first extra of volume 8 "Lantern Riddles on Yuanxiao Night".

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Thanks for the danmei recommendations, I've been wanting to get into other series but haven't known where to start. I've seen a lot of Kictor's reviews—so I have a decent understanding of what a lot of them are about even though I haven't quite taken the plunge yet... Since I'm notoriously indecisive I'll probably post on poll sometime soon and have you guys help decide on which series I read next. I'll probably stick to officially published ones for now since the glossaries and appendixes are a lifesaver for me. I tried reading Faraway Wanderers last year—because I was watching Word of Honour—and I struggled so much without one...

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I'm glad inspired you to watch The Apothecary Diaries, it deserves to be more popular! I'm glad you see the vision too! I've seen a lot of people compare JinMao to Usui × Misaki (Kaichou wa Maid-sama) and Tamaki × Haruhi (Ouran High School Host Club)—but I haven't seen anyone compare them to PeiHuang yet and it works so well...

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sinterblackwell · 1 year ago

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kay's favorite reads of 2023

and with that, my 2023 reading year has finally come to a close 🙏🏾

i haven't talked as much about books this year as i did in 2022, but i really did have a good time (with some tears.....)!! i discovered a whole new batch of books in the danmei genre that made my year and completely transformed my tastes; or just feels like it had :')

i read 76 books, all the way up to the last day, and it ended on a very high note, which i'm glad. i had fun writing this, as much as i could.

just something for me to look back on!!

if there's something i'm very consistent with, it's how much i write, so....there's the annual warning. but this is a passion project!! so that's all that matters.

honorable mentions:

lor (monstrous, #7) - lily mayne

--. what originally was meant to be a novella turned into a 600-page novel that is the longest of the entire series to date. i became a huge fan of lily mayne since 2022 because of this series, and i was absolutely delighted to get to continue it in the beginning of this year. at first, the story did read as a novella because of how contained it was, as if lor & jugs were living in this bubble. many clues, however, hinted that that bubble would break eventually-- political turmoil due to lor's position as the Moric and the fact that jug's human world has not yet fell into an apocalyptic state since this book is set in the 80s.

i genuinely became obsessed with the story once the plot kicked in around the middle, but i also admired how much the author put into the worldbuilding of this monster realm that our earlier monstrous characters had only been referencing up to this point. and it was absolutely amazing, but with a ton of faults that showed no world, even without any humans, is exempt from some messy politics. the fact that lor was so avoidant in his position causes a lot of upheaval, but his character arc in this story was very well-done, and it made for a very emotional read with all the events near the end. the author clearly got to have a lot of fun with this story in its setting and i look forward to seeing what will come when these characters meet with our earlier cast in the next book.

translations - brian friel

--. this was something i read for my irish literature course in the spring, and i ate it up in less than 2 hours at most. i don't read many plays and don't anticipate myself changing that fact in the future, but i had such a pleasant time with this one!! i think what made it so profound was having the text written out in front of me and yet i could visualize it so clearly as if i was following the script all along while the characters were performing on a stage.

this story is about the start of the end for the irish language, set in a small, rural town known as baile beag. having this play written entirely in english when these characters were majorly speaking irish is a connection that will stick with me for a long time, and it made the story so much more bleak because these characters weren't aware of what was to come.

my professor is so passionate about irish history, and felt just the same with this play. i got to take part in some very interesting discussions of the story while in class, and so now, a dream of mine would be to get to see this play in person someday :')

how to say i do - tal bauer

--. we cannot have a 2023 reading wrap-up without a tal bauer mention. despite not reading as much from him this year (mainly because i already read most of everything he wrote in 2022.....), i was glad to have this title to come back to more than once every couple of months. wyatt & noël are my most favorite tal bauer couple, next to sasha & sergey from the executive saga, and i just found them so sweet.

wyatt is one of the purest characters i have ever read; you can find no fault with him and his sweetheart persona. i loved how the author explored his own personal arc in the story due to the grief he held for his murdered father that he lost some time ago. he moved through that grief by taking care of his younger brother and working his ass off on the winery business he worked on together with his dad, and also the fields that this wine comes from. this land he grew up in is his home, and noël becomes a part of it as well.

this is a story about healing and finding peace with the people who care for you, and i adored it so much.

qiāng jìn jiǔ - tang jiuqing

--. there are no rules that can tell me i am not allowed to include this story here when i got through over 50% of it, and it is over 2,000 pages long. yes, i may not have gotten to finish it by this point, but i still consider it one of my greatest reading achievements. the story has such a huge cast of characters and very in-depth world politics, full with schemes and court intrigue, as well as betrayal and yearning.

it holds a very strong place in my heart because of the experience i have with it since i could only get to start reading it by surfing through a Chinese website and doing some rough translations. i was very determined to get started on it and actually paid some money that was ensured to go towards the author just so i could gain access to the fan translation. it is one of the best translations i ever had the fortune to read, and i got to pull a lot of my favorite quotes from it while gushing about the story with a friend.

that same friend did a very meaningful thing and found an epub of this translation before it got taken down since seven seas publishing has officially licensed it recently. i am very happy to see what it will look like in that version set to come in its first volume in june 2024, but i'm even more ecstatic to have this epub to finish the fan translation first. i hope to be done by this in the new year, so we'll see.

my summer of you - nagisa furuya

--. this is a comfort series for me, and i will always love that i got to read the first two volumes during the summer when the story was set. i couldn't get to read the third volume until early december, but the spirit of the season still shined through and i had such a nice time with these characters. the art was very neat and brought a smile to my face because of how adorable these characters looked, especially wataru as in the third volume, he ends up just looking more & more like an angry kitten.

i loved that even though there's no discernible plot to each volume, i still get to see this development in the established relationship between chiharu and wataru. their mutual love for film is what brought them together as close friends, and it's what nurtures the romantic feelings they grow for the other that are depicted in very soft panels. i'm not quite sure if there's more volumes to come, but for the ones that we have now, i'll cherish them for being something comforting to come back to when i need something light.

+ the art of cruelty - butchgoth (gremlingirl)

--. cue more self-indulgence!! because yes!! this is fanfiction!! beefleaf fanfiction in particular, inspired from mxtx's heaven official's blessing, but now set in an alternate universe where these characters live today. it was over 300,000 words, which effectively made it roughly over 500 pages, single-spaced; and for that, i will count it as part of my reading goal, so technically.....i've read 77 books this year <3

i just feel sentimental about this fic since it was the first one i read from the tgcf fandom. i discovered it on ao3 immediately after catching all the way up to vol.5 (which was the most recent volume published by seven seas at the time i picked up the series in january). it had all the drama of the canon series, but instead of ghosts & heavenly officals, we had these characters part of the mafia. a lot happened, and these characters' morality felt even more muddled than they were in canon (because duh.....the fucking mafia).

i think what my most favorite thing that i got from it was seeing the brotherhood relationship between hua cheng & he xuan. in the actual series, there isn't much depiction of any closeness in their dynamic, but the tgcf fandom took the bare minimum and expanded on it greatly; this fic is one of the biggest examples of that.

i came to this title for he xuan & shi qingxuan, and it absolutely delivered, but i also got to get attached to some of the other relationships as well (again, he xuan & hua cheng; i'm a sucker for sibling relationships, so i wasn't surprised when this happened).

and now for my top 10 favorite reads of the year!!

. . .

10. given (vol.5) - natsuki kizu

i had been wanting to read this series for a long time, actually. what always stopped me was the fact i had never gotten into manga and had a bit of trouble reading any graphic novels. i was someone who felt more comfortable with regular novels as i found myself feeling distant from the few graphic novels i read before this year.

what ultimately broke this pattern was my reading of our dining table in june, which became the first manga i ever read & completed. it was a contemporary romance that was very light & sweet, and involved a small family who were brought together through the love of homecooked meals. the art was one of the most striking things from the story for me; the little child, tane, having some of the most adorable illustrations i've ever seen.

after reading this manga, i started dipping my toes a little more into the genre, until i ultimately got to the given series, whose art is some of my most favorites of all manga, next to old-fashioned cupcake. what always got to me was how this is a story about music, and how much it means differently for the characters we meet here. my favorite thing about it was how the art made this music these characters were playing feel even more alive, as if i could actually hear it. the art was very expressive and the music resonated so deeply, i loved it so much.

volume 5 ended up connecting to me way more than i expected, and it was just all because a side character, ugetsu murata. we get to meet him in a previous volume, but learn even more about him here and it was all a very emotional read.

his relationship with akihiko hurt me a lot because i had met them when they were already nearing the end, and there was so much pain and resentment that lied deeply in this relationship, that i found myself grieving for what they had in the beginning (even though i wasn't even there to actually witness it??). you could sense the significance of their relationship despite that though, and their goodbye scene ultimately broke me due to (and no surprise here) the incredible artwork.

finding out ugetsu has garnered some mixed feelings from the given fandom was no surprise to me, but it made me love him more because i really did see a connection in him. his personal attachment to music as a renowned violin player is a story i would love to see more about, but he's not necessarily the main character, so...

the good part is his dynamic with mafuyu, who is one of the main characters. i love seeing them when they're together and i like to think that they do become close friends.

9. heaven official's blessing (vol.6) - mò xiāng tóng xiù

this volume was where we finally got to the white-clothed calamity arc, the most painful arc of the entire series that the tgcf fandom was absolutely dreading. it had all the trauma and heartbreak and grief and more, and it was the best arc i read from this series.

we got to see xie lian at his lowest after the fall of Xianle, and i just think one of the most striking things was how hua cheng played a role during this time. this was a point where xie lian & hua cheng weren't familiar to each other in the way they were now at the present timeline of the story, but they still had crossed paths in some shape and literal form very early on. hua cheng, or otherwise, wu ming, in this arc played a very pivotal role in his witness of xie lian's darkest point. to see him absolutely inconsolable because there was no way for him to reach out and protect the person he already loved with his whole being was painful to read. there had always been this quote that the fandom always loves to reference from hua cheng himself, and it all hurt so much more deeply when i saw what he was talking about.

"To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything, that's the worst suffering in the world."

ah so yeah, this volume is my most favorite of the series :') i have very fond feelings for the entire story because it was my first introduction to the world of danmei, and i am way too sentimental for my own good, so of course it had to be on this list.

8. peach blossom debt - da feng gua guo

at this point, i read quite a bit of danmei, and this one happened to be one of the few that didn't come from word of mouth but simple coincidence. this is a story from an author who's not as well-known as mxtx or priest, and i feel very disheartened about that because this danmei was something else (positive).

there's some stories you know you'll love immediately, while others you're not as sure of at first. this was the case of the latter, as the writing style seemed worlds apart from what i had become familiar with in most danmei i had read, and i found the first-person pov to be a very interesting way to handle the narrative. what first started out as a comedic and very ridiculous tale turned into a tragic character arc where song yao, the mc, seemed to have been cursed to repeat this cycle of loneliness that he's had to endure since before he even ascended. i found the twist that happened around the last quarter of the story to be somewhat convoluted in execution, but still overwhelmingly moving looking at the fact that i ended up sending a teary voice message to a friend.

in hindsight, that reaction was very dramatic of me, but all feelings were sincere. this is because the plot twist just absolutely changed everything that i thought i had grasped well from the story up to that point. i had gotten invested in the friendship between song yao and hengwen, the latter being the first & only person who alleviated that feeling of isolation that song yao had become so used to. he was someone who made song yao's ascension feel less overwhelming and brought his own humor & light to their dynamic, which made me ship them hard. when this twist came, it didn't ruin that dynamic, but in an even more ironic heartbreak, it made it seem more forbidden. the romance just became something so much more, and seeing everything that followed after the twist felt like a dream that made me love the story more than i expected i would.

if there's one meme i'd love to float around, it's the popular "would you love me if i was a worm?"; because as this story shows, the answer from one character to another is yes :') and i am obsessed with them for that.

7. stars of chaos (vol.1) - priest

the worldbuilding. the worldbuilding absolutely plays a strong part in this steampunk fantasy, and the main couple did, too <3

i think among all historical danmei, this, thousand autumns, and qiāng jìn jiǔ are much more a grounded visualization of ancient China and its events as it was studied in the books. my favorite thing about stars of chaos is that it still had this touch of innovation and magic that made it a thousand times more compelling than it would've been without. i found the idea of violet gold being seen as the center of all the machinery that exists in this time period such an interesting hook for the story, and chang geng's pov felt absolutely perfect for telling it, in a case of secret identities and and cursed ambitions.

his dynamic with another character, who we come to know as gu yun, is some of my most favorite of all danmei. as of recently, thanks to a couple ao3 fics, i feel even more like i'm bursting with love for them both.

i'm only really at the beginning with this story since we only have this first volume at the time i'm writing this. however, the second one is due to come in early january 2024 and i am so hyped for it. again, the story is really innovative and there's some action & mystery that pulled me in deeply. i'm really excited to get more to the root of it as each volume comes out and the tension grows even stronger.

6. lip and sword (vol.2) - jin shisi chai

because this is just the kind of person that i am, of course one of my top favorite reads of 2023 would be of a series that i finished on the last day of the year :')

there's so much i've already talked about regarding this volume on goodreads (x), but i really consider this series to be a precious gem to me because of how severely underrated it is (and i also mean that literally....the third volume only has 32 ratings on gr, including mine). of course, this series might be receiving much more pleasant feedback in other circles, as goodreads isn't the center of everything. however, there's no fandom to speak of that i have been able to access, and so it's made for a very lonely reading experience.

what made up for it, though, was how truly genius the story was. it's one of the very few modern danmei i've read, and it circles around the world of Chinese journalism, uncovering news stories that end up shaking the narrative in such a brilliant way. the author is so smart, and i got to meet one of my most favorite fictional characters of the year, xing ming. he's cold, logical, and on the edge of frustrating when it comes to how little he cares for the consideration of his colleagues, which makes him cross lines that shake up the story even more.

the romance between him & yu zhongye was....absolutely perfect; i feel gobsmacked at how perfect this series was to me in all its flawed characters and a fractured society fueled by the media. so much of it felt really intense and the translation, even with the few grammatical errors it had, did a really good job sharing the author's intent with the volumes. i really loved this...

--. note: this is where the list gets a little blurry, as these next 4 are practically interchangeable. the #1 spot is the most solid. i'm obsessed with them all, and having them on this list is all that really matters .--

5. the scum villain's self-saving system (vol.2) - mò xiāng tóng xiù

thanks to the absolutely chaotic svsss fandom, i got even more attached to this series in the months after i had finished it. i feel very fond for this community of readers who were just as obsessed with mxtx's debut as i was, and with this volume, i hold it even more dearly.

it was very chaotic. despite only being in shen qingqiu's pov, i loved how the author managed to convey everyone else's emotions in the series of events that occur. i already said this in the mid-year freakout tag, but it made things so laughable yet also so fucking sad for sqq to see himself apart from everyone else as he comes from the "real world". those like luo binghe are only capable of following the script from the original story and so in all the times lbh chases after his shizun, it only inspires more fear & sadness in sqq knowing what happens in the story they're following.

to be fair for him, honestly, lbh doesn't make it any easy to think differently because of some of his stalking behavior, but again, the author was able to convey lbh's heartbreak so clearly in their interactions. i am a sucker for angst and so to see two characters who are basically having two different conversations without realizing it, it made this volume a standout for me.

also, svsss is my favorite mxtx novel, by the way.

4. king of death (folk, #3) - lily mayne

ash in his self-destruction era :')

his pov is what really turned the story for me because i had been with him since the first book, mortal skin. he had been through so much deception after already reeling over the grief of the parents that raised him.

he was tortured to the point of death in efforts to shed his human skin and make him become full fae. he was led to believe that the love of his life, lonan, had been the one to deal the killing blow to said parents. he loses his arm as he was fighting to run somewhere safe away from the unseelie realm due to the evil plans of lonan's mother. he finally met his birth mother, who turned out to be a just as sickening as she saw him as a curse from the moment of conception; she wanted nothing more than to sap all his power away that she saw as rightfully hers.

he's forced to kill an innocent to conceal his identity in a public affair. he recovers all his lost memories of lonan and is left reeling over all the interactions they shared where he couldn't even remember him. he's thrust with the title of king of seelie and all its obligations in the face of those who dealt with centuries of tyrannical rule under his birth mother.

and then now we get to this book!! where he clutches so badly to the one good & normal thing he has left in his life....lonan. it was like they existed in this bubble where it was just them two as it was in mortal skin, and it was exactly when ash started falling in love with him. reliving this feeling, of course ash would want to have them stick together; but lonan had his own obligations.

it got to the point where ash had all these excuses ready for why lonan should stay with him, so readily able to ignore signs that say otherwise, that the forests that serve as the bridge between the seelie & unseelie folk was rotting away. what once was something really light and a force of good with them staying together ended up almost becoming a thing of the past.

it was such a long road with this story, and so heartbreaking. i just loved how the author was so consistent in the development of ash's character journey, and there was almost a point where it felt like he was so close to falling off the edge, but his brother, nua, is who pulls him back. i will always be so thankful for nua's presence in this book; it did everything.

and i'm also just glad that at the end of all this angst and hardship, ash & lonan do make it through. it was a hard-won fought :')

my reading experience with this series started over a year and i'm just really happy to have loved this finale as much as i did. it feels like i've giving it a proper send-off.

---. i've unfortunately reached the stage where my energy is starting to dwindle. but now we've gotten to the top 3 and just to say, i'm glad that i found these stories and everything that was listed before.

3. the husky & his white cat shizun (vol.3) - rou bao bu chi rou

taxian-jun was really the star for me in this one. that's all.

”Mo Ran, wake up already. Wake up…”

“I am awake! I’m perfectly fucking awake! You’re the one who’s asleep! Are you blind?! Are you blind, Chu Wanning! …

“As far as you’re concerned, his life is a life, but mine counts for nothing. Is that it?!” In his fury, Mo Ran grabbed Chu Wanning’s hand and pressed it to his bloody wound.

“Didn’t you want to stop me? Here’s your chance; go on then, dig out my heart! Chu Wanning, why don’t you just dig out my fucking heart?!”

2ha, my beloved <3

2. remnants of filth (vol.2) - rou bao bu chi rou

here's a series of quotes that broke my heart:

Mo Xi thought, if only he could see straight in. If only he could cruelly tear this man apart, pierce him through--if only he could get a good look at the secrets in his bones, the currents in his blood, the filth in his soul. If he could see how dirty the man kneeling before him was, perhaps he'd let go of this persistent attachment.

Give me your hand. No matter how dirty you are, I will embrace you. No matter how much it hurts, I will stay with you. No matter how far it is, I will bring you home.

So much hatred, so much love, and so much agony. An agony worse than death.

i really look forward to volume three; it can't come soon enough. the story of mo xi and gu mang hurts a lot :')

1. the missing piece - kun yi wei lou

Their eyes met, and the world was silent. The start of spring had just passed. The weather was especially good that day, with no clouds in the sky for miles. But Ji Mingxuan seemed to feel that only now did the rain that had lingered in his heart truly stop.

(x).

#❣️#truly the year of danmei #danmei #booklr #yearly reading wrap up

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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 years ago

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niki tries new things!

So, just to let y’all know what I’ve been into the past few months, I decided to make a list. some of these things haven’t changed from the past but others have! so if you see me reblogging more about the new things you don’t have to be startled at all :)

A) things 🍑 I still enjoy:

word of honor & faraway wanderers : I don’t think that’s ever gonna change tbh. I’m still writing a long fic for woh and I plan to at least get another one finished for the fandom before taking a break from creating for it. I had one more in store, but it’s becoming oddly personal and I think I’ll work on it in my spare time and possibly never post it, who knows!;

winter begonia : I fell in love with the drama and I’m still reading the novel that it was based on, so of course I’m gonna stick to them for a very long time! I have a long wip in place and another planned for the drama, but they require a lot of research and I’m collecting various pieces of information to give them justice. so I may be on hold in the fandom but not forever!;

other various danmei novels/shows: I’m still waiting on winner is king drama to air :( so you can see me ranting about sha po lang in equal measure. then there’s golden stage, my absolute love, and lord seventh :D so yay for that!;

good omens : the love is resurfacing due to the new season creeping in on us, but it never quite left in the first place. expect more content on the ineffable husbands and their unruly children >:) cannot wait!;

welcome to night vale : I want to pick up the podcast again! :( but I’m a perfectionist at heart and I cannot fathom skipping episodes! so I will have to plan my listening schedule accordingly. wish me luck!;

B) things 👯‍♀️ I don’t quite enjoy anymore:

the untamed & mdzs : I’m sorry but... it’s not doing it for me anymore ;-; which is sad bc I made good friends through that ;—; but my sparks only come back in regards to it while reading meta or character analysis. I still have some fics saved that I occasionally re-read from my favorite authors, but I think I have outgrown my stay in the fandom. I will be forever grateful for mdzs for introducing me to a bunch of new interesting things to delve into in 2020, for keeping me company during forced isolation and for bringing me joy with lots of new people. AND I think it’s time to let go at the same time. this doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy my friends rambling to me about this or that character, this or that plot point or fanon scenario tho! I’ll just keep my distance and let them have fun :) it’s ok;

lotr & the hobbit : only a few of you will know that this blog was originally a bagginshield nostalgia blog in origin. the username is evidence of that after all! I will always love both fandoms, but I haven’t looked for new content of fics in a while and I routinely re-read old fics rather than engaging with brand new creations so... it’s time to let go. I considered changing my username too, but since i share it with my art blog idk what to do... we will see!;

anime in general : namely Mob Psycho 100. I will always love it, don’t get me wrong. but I haven’t had the emotional capacity to engage with mp100 final season yet and I don’t think I’m ready to let go of it. I will suspend my judgment for now, waiting for when I will be ready to properly move on;

C) NEW ✨ things I enjoy now:

house of the dragon : look. I don’t really care for got or the book!canon in general. I’m just a casual fan ;-; no need to explain all the details to me. more than being a rude tourist who doesn’t bother to learn about the culture, think of me as a tired hostess or steward forced to take a liking to the local fast food place in between flights. that would be me, flipping through the menu and getting hooked on r//haenicent content bc I’m but a smol bi and a simp for pretty and dramatic ladies. sue me. I’m not interested in the discourse, I don’t want to know who is terrible and why, this is fictional and I am tired. but if you see me reblogging stuff from there I will tag accordingly with the proper tags from now on, so you can mute safely;

the devil judge : some of you may have noticed I started talking about this kdrama somewhere about last October and I haven’t been the same since. I won’t write for the fandom but expect me to be annoying and hyper focused on it at all times when you less expect it. I can be quite steadfast in certain aspects of my fandom life and this is no exception;

helluva boss : me? liking indie-turned-super-popular animation? in this economy? it’s more likely than you’d think! look. I’m slightly less casual and more committed about this compared to my recent hotd fixation. but. once again, I have no interest in the discourse. I will reblog stuff from it and make an effort to tag even if I grew out of the habit as of recently. I found out about it last April and it helped with my anxiety. I’m enjoying something new after a long time and it doesn’t even require me to create content for it either. I can just lay back and chill. so. no fighting;

don’t hug me I’m scared : ik it’s unsettling and I care deeply about it, ok? but ik some of you are a bit uncomfortable with the material so I will take precautions and tag appropriately. I will only reblog stuff from the fandom bc I have no mental energy to create any content for it. I have no ship to board and no intention to join any ship tho, so there’s that. I just like the medium and mindlessly engage with it, triggering or not. sometimes I trigger myself just by paying attention to it, but I won’t subject y’all to it and will tag, I promise;

dune : I will be obnoxious about it. blame the upcoming movie for it. the visuals are pretty, the ladies are even prettier and even though I don’t really care for the tim boy I am endlessly entertained by his character since Paul and his life choices are amusing to me: he makes no damn sense, compels me though. also expect me to be annoying af about bene gesserit shenanigans in general bc. well. I’m only human;

the hunger games : less than dune, but the new movie interests me quite a bit. I love me some fictional villains and meta on them. their fictional struggles fascinate me. I don’t want to engage in the discourse with this one either;

succession : I have not watched the series, but an old friend of mine very enthusiastically insisted I give it a try so I will do that while trying to avoid spoilers at the same time. the stakes are high!;

D) things 👀 I’m looking forward to:

crafting : I want to make tiny things ;-; where is the time tho????

reading : there are so many things I want to read! mental health has been wild recently, I barely had energy to keep up with my favorite fic updates :( that’s all I have had energy for in the past few months ;—;

drama series : I’ve been given excellent suggestions but I keep falling asleep at odd times and haven’t found the time for that yet. which is very sad and very upsetting;

drawing : I feel like I haven’t practiced in a very long time and that’s unacceptable!;

music : I have new albums to listen to from my favorite artists, but I feel like I’m putting it off bc I fear I won’t enjoy them much :( , on the other hand I have received amazing suggestions and I’m excited to give them a try!;

I think this is all! I will probably put a “keep reading” on this later on. but yeah! It’s nice to be back :)

#sneaky niki #if any of you are uncomfortable with me liking any of these things know that I want you to be happy #if you want to unfollow me it’s ok #if we are mutuals then by all means I want you to prioritize your happiness #usernames have changed so I might not recognize some of u #but it’s ok. you do u. I do me. hope you will be enjoying yourself on this platform too :)

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raandim-emortal · 1 year ago

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My favorite thing about Scum Villain is how it reads ‘trashy harem turns trashy danmei self-insert fix-it fic’ the same way OHSHC is also a parody of problematic yet very common tropes in other genres of media (which people also enjoy misunderstanding).

Satire is an amazing way to creatively and an oftentimes funny way to point out issues and flip them on their heads in order to create a space for meaningful dialogue. Unfortunately, I think the fact that it’s satire goes over some people’s heads which is why they just think it’s a stupid trashy novel.

To be clear, it is a stupid trashy novel, but that’s the point! And it’s done very well.

There’s also space here to talk about a readers ability to analyze, research, think critically about a work, and meaningfully converse about it. Which are all skills that many people simply do not have.

And that’s unfortunate because MXTX along with many many other well-known danmei and baihe authors write such captivating, thought provoking, beautiful stories with complex characters and themes. And it’s unfortunate that many people who read these stories will not understand or be ultimately unable to comprehend a large portion of them simply because they don’t even research or analyze what they’re reading in order to have a better grasp of what it is they’re reading.

Many people (I’m speaking generally of English readers) don’t take into account the cultural differences between the reader and the author, or even of our modern societies and that of an ancient fantasy society heavily based on folklore from the areas that we now mainly recognize as China and Mongolia.

One thing I like about officially translated works that are published by companies like Seven Seas is that they do try to add in some of those references and they have a large glossary in the back that helps expand on some common concepts and references, plus a name and pronunciation guide. But there’s a) no guarantee anyone at anytime is using them and b) not all fan translations have those.

So if you’ve made it this far here’s some tips for either yourself or someone you know that can help with one’s ability to research, analyze, think critically, and communicate meaningfully:

1) keep in mind that just because you did not enjoy something does not mean it’s bad, it just means it wasn’t for you and that’s okay!

2) if you read a word and you do not know how to say it or what it means, look it up! Use the dictionary or the dictionary app or even just Google. If you’re reading on a screen, you can highlight the word and you should have a selection option to look it up.

3) if you read a phrase or something is referenced and you don’t understand it, look it up! I think we tend to forget that we have a world of knowledge at our fingertips and that if we don’t know something, it’s okay, we can look it up! And that’s an amazing ability we have that we didn’t use to, please take advantage of it!

4) interact with the communities online somehow. Get the hashtags to show up on your fyp on TikTok or add it to your repertoire on Tumblr or Twitter or whatever you use. For example: Read the character analysis’ people do, they can be very enlightening sometimes, especially when someone has an idea about a character you couldn’t quite put into words or have a perspective you didn’t think about. Which leads into

5) keep an open mind! We don’t know everything, and there’s no way to read something once and understand everything about it. Hell, you could read something 10-30 times and probably still not understand everything about it. And that’s the best part! Learning new things about something you read or enjoyed etc. deepening your understanding of a story and it’s characters and it’s world and what it references and is inspired by is so much fun.

6) read the footnotes and the glossary if there are some, they are there specifically to help you gain a better understanding of the novel and it’s world and outside inspirations and references.

7) to expand and double on #1, it’s okay to dislike a piece of media, but that does not make it bad. I would implore you to at least try to understand the piece of media and be able to communicate why you dislike something. In some cases I think sometimes we don’t know why we dislike something and I think that if you explore and try to understand not only the piece of media but why you dislike it, you’ll find it very fulfilling. Meaningful conversations do not just happen between people excitedly and or intelligently talking about and breaking down a piece of media they enjoy. They can and do happen between people who have conflicting feelings and opinions and can be very rewarding conversations when both people are knowledgeable about said media. And who knows, maybe you’ll both learn something from each other even if your opinions are ultimately unswayed 😊

Okay I take it back the actual funniest thing about how many people performatively hate on scum villain because they think it’s bad and trashy and irredeemable and Problematic is that they are unwittingly re-enacting an almost perfect impression of the main character, a young terminally online guy who hate read a trashy porn novel and got in so many internet fights about how bad and irredeemable and garbage it was that he died choking on his rage and was transported to suffer the role of expendable backstory villain in the world of this trashy porn novel he hated so much.

And that’s fucking hilarious.

#svsss #mxtx #danmei

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akkrosu · 1 year ago

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My Favorite Books of 2023

After seeing everyone’s end-of-the-year QL posts and having a look at my meticulous list of books I read this year, I was a little inspired to write up something myself, just not about QLs but books. I’ve been trying to be more vocal about things I like, and post things for myself, and only myself. So I don’t even care how long this is, and just have fun with it.

In terms of literature, this year was pretty slow for me (with only 48 finished books, about half of what it used to be, probably because I’ve been watching so many QLs) and fairly limited to the YA genre because I got stuck with high-school and college stories and haven’t really moved on since. But still I managed to put together the 10 I enjoyed most. Books (like shows) are very subjective to me in that it takes the right one at the right time for me to fall in love with it, so take every one of these with a grain of salt, I guess.

I’m not including any danmei I’m reading because they are so separate from other books to me in what they are and how they work that I can’t be objective with them. Also, I don’t care when any of these books came out, all that matters to me is that I read them for the first time this year.

1. The Inexplicable Logic of my Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

This might be my favorite book out of those on this list. I knew I loved Benjamin Alire Sáenz’s poetic and reflective writing after I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, but this one hit all the right spots for me in a way I can’t compare to any other book I’ve read. It tells the story of a 17-year-old boy named Salvador, his close friends, and his gay father, who go through a million setbacks and tragedies and learn the meaning of life—in its essence, it’s a book about growing up and grieving and living. This author has a way of being painfully real while also wrapping everything in a beautiful language that makes it all even more real and touching. Two of my favorite quotes:

“I wanted to tell (my father) that all the awful things that happened in the old world were dead. And the new world, the world we lived in now, the world we were creating, that world would be better. But I didn’t say it, because I wasn’t sure it was true.”

“I realized that Sam wasn’t angry at all. She was hurt. At that moment I heard all the hurt she’d ever held. And it seemed to me that the whole house had quieted down to listen to her pain.”

2. If You Could See the Sun by Ann Liang

I read this around the beginning of the year, so my memory isn’t the best, but I still love it like I did back then. In the story, Alice, the only scholarship student at a Chinese school for the Rich and Powerful, suddenly starts turning invisible and, due to financial and other pressures on her, decides to turn these new ‘powers’ into profit by obtaining information for classmates and selling it to them. The whole thing starts out pretty innocent, but the requests become more and more severe and dangerous, and Alice essentially has to decide where she draws the line and caves in to all the pressures surrounding her. It’s essentially critical commentary about Chinese society while taking a look at the blurry lines between good and bad, all wrapped in a modern story with fantastical elements.

3. Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

I finished this book only a few days ago, so I’m still in my feels about it. Even though it’s a little sci-fi and not at all like the books I usually read—what with the army of powerful heroes using giant transforming robots to fight a war against mechatron aliens that eerily remind me of insects—, it absolutely grabbed me with its narration full of incredibly precise and succinct descriptions, balanced out by lines so funny that they had me cackling, and incredible character depth (which, to me, is often the most important thing). Wu Zetian as a main character was compelling to follow, because she is so strong and true to what she wants, rising to power while killing everyone in her path. And the poly storyline brought a lot of joy to my heart, because we get so little of it in YA literature. Plus, it was really nice to read a book examining gender roles without feeling dysphoric even once, which I think was only possible because it was written by a fellow enby person. Some more favorite quotes:

“Where does jealousy come from, if not an insecurity that I’ll lose you because of him? But that’s not how it works, no matter how many people believe it so. You’re not something to be kept or taken, and love isn’t some scarce resource to battle over. Love can be infinite, as much as your heart can be open.”

“Perks of refusing to play by the rules: you don’t have to choose between the boy who’d torture a man to death with you and the boy who’d welcome you back with pastries after.”

“It’s as if I’ve got a cocoon shriveled too tightly around my whole being. If I had my way, I’d exist like that butterfly, giving onlookers no easy way to bind me with a simple label.”

4. Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli

I hit this phase around the middle of the year where I was craving some sapphic romance novels, and this one fell right into my hands. I remember I started this on the 12-hour flight back from China, and it gripped me so hard I finished it in about a day, even though I guess nothing about it is super unique. It’s just a love story about a soon-to-be college student falling for her childhood friend’s new college friend while visiting campus, even though said childhood friend told everyone they are exes. I guess what I really liked about it is the exploration of community, especially queer community, because the protagonist often feels at war between starting to have feelings for a girl and not thinking she fits into what she believes queer people are or should be, causing her to repeatedly deny the possibility of her being queer. Plus, I love deeper thoughts and reflections under the guise of a simple romance plot, and this book is quintessential Becky Albertalli in that regard.

5. El fabuloso mundo de las letras [The Fabulous World of the Letters] by Jordi Sierra i Fabra

Okay, so this is technically a children’s book written by a well-known Spanish author that was given to me while staying with a friend’s family in Spain, but regardless of the target group, I still absolutely loved it and ate it up. It’s a wonderful look at language and writing and creatively tries to spark enthusiasm for reading in children through fun little games, stories in which letters coming alive and form things like huge forests, crossword puzzles, and more. The frame for it is a story about a boy who hates reading sucked into the world of letters, where he gets to know them and how they work and learns how beautiful language is, which is 100% my thing as a linguist. I will forever grieve all the H’s in the hospital.

6. Tokioregen [Tokyo Rain] by Yasmin Shakarami

One of the few German books I still read, English has just taken over by now. It’s about a German high school student who spends a semester abroad in Japan, falls in love with the country and a classmate who shows her the hidden parts of Tokyo, and has to witness an earthquake that destroys most of the city. Somehow the author managed to convey Tokyo’s magic in a way I never expected, even though I’ve never been all that interested in Japan, so it sucked me in.

7. When We Were Infinite by Kelly Loy Gilbert

Oof, this one challenged my mental health, but I guess that’s exactly what it was trying to do. We have here a story about a group of close friends who are the most important people to each other, but when they find out one of them, Jason, is abused at home and he tries to kill himself, they all spiral and friendships start to fall apart. It basically takes you along for the ride as the protagonist Beth’s mental health and her friendships go through one of the most terrible experiences of their lives, and that makes you think about a lot of things in your life.

8. I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston

I’ve been a huge fan of Casey McQuiston since Red, White & Royal Blue, because they write incredible queer stories with some of the best characterization I’ve ever seen. In this one, Chloe, held hostage by a Southern Christian small town with her moms, has made it her mission to beat child prodigy and good girl Shara as valedictorian, but instead Shara ends up kissing her (and two other classmates) before disappearing, leaving behind only a series of clues for the three to follow. Let’s just say I didn’t expect the plot to unfold like it did at all: it turns everything upside down and, once again, in the way Casey McQuiston does, ends up with the most compelling characters I’ve ever read about.

9. A Magic Steeped in Poison by Judy I. Lin

Ugh, I love fantasy stories based on Chinese culture and mythology (see Iron Widow and If You Could See the Sun). This one makes use of the art of tea-brewing, which the protagonist Ning uses to create fantastical illusions and to participate in a competition looking for the new palace tea master, hoping to save her sister’s life by winning. The writing was great, and I really liked Ning, the protagonist. But to quote from my little book diary: “I’m rooting for the straights with the tea-induced magical connection, but I might be rooting a lot more for the princess-and-her-ferocious-handmaiden side couple.”

10. XOXO by Axie Oh

Okay, the last one, which I never expected to be good or original at all, and it’s a bit cliché even for me. But something about the story stuck with me, and so it made this list. It’s a bit of a typical k-pop (which is a genre I don’t even listen to) idol romance, in which Jenny, a cello player, spends an evening with (unbenownst to her) k-pop star Jaewoo in LA, only to reunite with him at a music conservatory in Seoul a few months later when Jenny moves to Korea. I guess you can sort of figure out the plot from there, but the characters are written very well (I think you can see the pattern here), and it’s a really nice read when you want something simple and sweet.