#i have a lot of feelings about jesse
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tell ren to turn his location on👉👈
I saw one of the posts of how ren does get jealous of pets being loved over him and alll that so now I have the thought of the one meme of ‘ah yes, me, my partner and their [enter normal pet size] foot [pet]’
I don’t have anything else, it did pop into my head though and I thought I’d share with the class.
⌞♥⌝ ItsNotVivy on Twitter actually made that exact meme with Ren a looong time ago!!
#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#thegoofyest#In Viv we trust 😌 They were one of the very first people to take an interest in 14DWY!! /gen#Dare I say..... One of the founding fathers lmaooooo#Also!! Viv (along with a few other twitter artists) were one of the main reasons why I started this Tumblr in da first place! ^^#14DWY didn't have much of a following until they started makin memes and art on Twitter#Then all of a sudden I had all these people wanting to know more about the game; and da next thing I knew; I had over 50 asks overnight lol#So I owe a lot of 14DWY's success to ItsNotVivy; hmimprvmntbsmnt; dreosuger; Diachuu; glade_o; Meowastrophe; noullyart; etc.#And it's also the reason why I wanna show my appreciation towards them all by giving them Easter Eggs in the game#I also kind feel like it's the very least I can do to show my appreciation ghjsgjh ;v; Same with da 14DWY staff on Discord#It's the only place where I ask for help regarding managing the 14DWY socials (everywhere else is just me); and they go through hell n back#—to keep the server a fun and lively place for everyone#I owe so much to them as well; which is why some of da mods already have their own lil Easter Eggs in the game#I also like to think they're canon employees at the Corland Bay library gsdjgjg Except Jesse; that mf would set everything on fire /silly#Also not me getting mushy in the tags????????? What is happening to me.... Where is my mysterious and aloof persona...... /j#I'll shuddup now before I start crying (/pos) over the founding fathers on Tumblr as well lmao
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matthew developing more romantic feelings towards lucie had so much comedic potential. love triangle between a blond and a corpse and she still would've chosen the corpse
#he wouldn't even have known he had competition#lucie herondale#matthew fairchild#jesse blackthorn#i think about this a lot actually but that's bc 1) i love lucie herondale. she is me i am her yada yada#and 2) i feel like i would've liked tlh more if matthew didn't make up the third part of that triangle. or at least not in the way he did#like if he developed feelings towards james and not cordelia and like yeah we already went over parabatai falling in love but still#or if he was crushing on lucie who would not really even realise it as she was too obsessed w this one ghost only she could see#either way i like matthew#i think gotsm was necessary for me to read before tlh and serve as my introduction to matthew fairchild (i had not read tftsa yet) bc-#i got to know and love the bubbly and lively and happy and giggly and dancy and young and wild and carefree version of him#and i always love characters like that but it also hit harder when i saw matthew in chain of gold for the first time#the last hours#tlh#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc
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Actually you know what I need to rant about this: while literati is technically a good girl x bad boy dynamic it is written so incredibly well and avoids so many pitfalls and stereotypes that it makes a good girl x bad boy hater like myself (I’m only half joking — I don’t think any trope is inherently good or bad but I tend to dislike most pairings with this dynamic) fall head over heels for their story and relationship.
So much of what makes the two of them work is the contrast between how others perceive them and how they truly are. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who understand who Rory is as a person (Lorelai, Lane, Paris, Richard and Emily to a certain degree for starters), but she's constantly met with the expectation that she just does good and is supposed to make everyone proud 24/7. Stars Hollow as a group especially are big on this, as seen f. ex. through how Taylor takes Rory's one comment about an inappropriate DVD and twists the whole thing into a censorship crusade and makes Rory its poster-child even though she wants nothing to do with it and tells him so repeatedly. But instead of hearing Rory disagree with him (like he would Lorelai and Luke) he assumes that she actually agrees with him - and why shouldn't she when she's the perfect sunshine paragon of good who would never disagree with her elders? Also her grandparents treat her as incredibly fragile and childlike, like she must be too innocent to ever do anything wrong and so whenever she does something it has to be somebody else's fault (usually Lorelai, but occasionally Jess or whoever else was present). Time and time again Rory is treated like something innocent and naive and weak — but not by Jess. He sees her as a person.
And it obviously goes the other way too. Jess is treated like shit by pretty much everyone else. Either people hate him unprovoked or very much provoked (he did do a lot of pranks in his first few weeks and while I'm a Dean-hater I'm not blind to how much Jess picked fights with him), or they’ve simply given up on him. He tells Rory himself that every authority figure he had back in New York gave up on him too, from teachers to principals to his very own mother. But Rory doesn’t treat him like a lost cause, she treats him like the smart, brilliant and asshole-ish teen that he is. By having faith in him she also often holds him more accountable than others. Where f. ex. Lorelai or the other adults just roll their eyes, Rory physically drags Jess into doing his shifts at the diner. While others write him off, Rory chews Jess’ ear out for not helping Luke more and for willfully making enemies out of the Stars Hollow adults.
They don't put each other on pedestals or below each other. Jess doesn’t try to make a sinner out of Rory and she doesn’t try to make a saint out of him. There’s genuine respect between them. They expect each other to have integrity and treat others with kindness and honesty, and the rest is good old chemistry and common interests.
I particularly love how in so many of their scenes (especially pre-relationship) when they spend time alone they just get to be these goofy nerdy kids. They argue about controversial authors and dig through records shops and eat hot dogs and make fun of each other and try to make each other laugh. It’s not just sexual chemistry as it too often is in a dynamic like this (and often uncomfortably sexual when writing teenagers - looking at you Gossip Girl), and not just well written intellectual chemistry — they have platonic chemistry too. A hell of a lot of it actually.
While I don’t think ASP wrote them through a purely deconstructionist lens on the good girl x bad boy dynamic (if she did plan on writing the dynamic at all), there is something to be said about how where many around them treat them like stereotypes they treat each other like people. To so many people, Rory is a perfect small town princess, a little miss sunshine with booksmarts for days but too delicate and sweet for anything with grit and weight. To a lot of the same people and many more Jess is a pathetic brutish and maniacal lost cause, hell personified in a chainsmoking leather-wearing teenager. But to each other they are actual human beings. Kind and mean and flirtatious and scared and reckless and smart. Rory really thinks that with the right motivation and mindset Jess can be the kind who does (and at the end wrote) incredible things. Jess really believes that with a little more practice and support to step out of her comfort zone she can be the amazing journalist she wishes to be.
They don’t have this stupid «we’re so bad for each other but we can’t stay away» thing that too many trope users rely on and don’t even justify in the plot. Everyone else might think they’re not fit for each other, but they knew they were each other’s person from the very first day.
#where a lot of good girl x bad boy dynamics are about opposites attracting#what draws Rory and Jess towards each other is how much they resonate with each other#the books the weight of expectations and assumptions the passion for more in life#they don't look at each other and see a sexy alien world they look at each other and see themselves#me rant because me unnecessarily passionate about this#again I don't inherently hate the good girl x bad boy dynamic#there's just so many examples of doing it badly out there#like I don't even need the dynamic to be morally good I just need it to be justified in the narrative#and to not just rely on the same old “it's so bad but it feels so good” and relying on stereotypes over actual character writing#Rory and Jess is one of the ways this dynamic is actually done right and it's because ASP doesn't dumb them down#or take the dynamic for granted just because it's popular and bound to have an audience#literati#gilmore girls#rory gilmore#jess mariano#rory x jess#gilmore girls meta#my meta#also extra because I can't contain myself
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2-for-1 deal of Jess Lives and Gets Marked AU
#graedari doodles#Marked Heart AU#dishonored#dh1#dishonored fanart#jessamine kaldwin#dh: the outsider#daud dishonored#digital art#ipad#procreate#apple pen#i have a lot of feelings about jess living okay#and a lot of them are complicated!#but for now i can share this page of the au#graedari loves queue#graedari dh
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I love how much awe and longing she say's this line with... the world finally makes sense to her, after all this time...
#remedy control#control remedy#jesse faden#she#expect more posting about Jesse finding her home in the Oldest House I have a lot of feelings about it...#the world Dylan was forced into... the world Jesse was denied... so many feelings...
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there’s something about how jess and lupe gravitate towards each other immediately and understand each other with so little words exchanged. something about how they balance each other out. how they use their different worldview’s and perspective to strengthen their relationship rather than drive them apart that’s so so dear to me
jess immediately clocking lupe and not getting offended when lupe thinks it’s a dumb question
lupe not knowing where moosejaw is and jess begrudgingly amending it to canada
that could have easily become a situation where two people would have written off the other person
but they saw something in the other that they recognise in themselves that made them decide that they wanted to stick together
the way jess goes straight to lupe when beverley is explaining the house rules and lupe immediately complains to jess about the no pants rule
the way lupe’s voice goes from angry to soft in the locker room when she notices jess is upset about having to wear a dress, lupe comforting them because she knows
lupe not finding jess’ ‘sinking boat’ analogy weird and instead asking her to give specific details, the way you can tell she finds jess interesting
jess being the only one to second lupe when the rest of the team wrote her off as a bad fit to be coach
jess being happy to see lupe having confidence again (let’s not forget them biting their lip about it too, um okay loverboy)
jess taking the piss out of lupe to try and break her out of her bad mood (‘did that help?’ ‘…..yeah’) (ps also made lupe wanna kiss her. this is canon idc)
the fact that you can see they still seem to be seen near each other even after the fight incident, jess is behind lupe when carson is trying to be a stricter coach, when they’re still mad at lupe
the way they can disagree, get angry over things they don’t understand, and they hear each other out. jess starts out ripping into lupe about fighting amongst the team, only to realise they hadn’t seen it from lupe’s perspective
jess not needing an apology from lupe about the black eye (idk if lupe caused it directly or indirectly, but jess arguably blames her for it at first) because she now sees it from lupe’s side
jess understanding and then apologising in their own way, getting the whole team toasting lupe when they know she’d felt excluded in the past, showing lupe that they have her back in doing so
lupe knowing jess is sorry without them having to say it, understanding the implied meaning of jess’ toast. you can see by her reaction that she appreciates it (also loverboy over here blushing about it, i see you lupe)
arguably, the little nod lupe does after she thanks jess for the toast could be interpreted as her telling jess she understands it and they’re cool
the way they move past it and it’s water under the bridge, they’re back to being ‘brothers’
jess not being afraid to call lupe out on being hard on esti, challenging her when she pretends not to care that esti has run away. jess sees right through lupe’s facade, and witnessing that plus esti’s conversation with lupe in the car (even though she doesn’t know what esti is saying) knows that lupe needs to sort her shit out with esti, and orchestrates a situation where they can do it, without forcing lupe
lupe knowing exactly what jess did and instead of being angry is actually lowkey impressed (and a little turned on let’s not lie)
the fact that they both automatically run towards each other on the pitch when they get a home run or win and run into each others’ arms (lupe’s dorky grin is so adorable and sorry not platonic at all, that’s a smile you give someone when ur in loveeeee)
just the whole bar scene. they’re so in sync with each other, finishing each others’ sentences, teaching carson about gay culture together, the easy camaraderie of the arm wrestling (the kisses on the cheek!!!!!!!! twice!!!!! the second one where they’re both smiling!!!!!!) both of them automatically leaning towards saying no to carson when she asks if they’ve been with women here
i also think they very openly talk about their hookups together based off lupe showing jess her hickeys, and lupe telling jess veronica is a biter. i also think they would be each others wingmen (also think if/when they fuck each other they would have threesomes lmao)
(i also think they would tease each other for their very poor flirting skills)
them talking about sticking together on the off season and going to new york together (although i still can’t decide how their conversation indicates that, or the scene i’m thinking of isn’t the right one idk)
anyways tldr: they became unlikely but also inevitably each others person and challenge each other to be better, they’re a good team, they have great chemistry that draws them together. they are soulmates
#god this ended up being WAY LONGER than i anticipated#the adhd strikes again me rambling and not knowing how to make sentences concise#apologies#i would be seriously impressed if anyone even makes it to the end of this#but i just have. a lot of feelings#aloto feelings#hahahahaa#about jesslupe and their dynamic#and how their relationship begins and where it ends up#and just their ability to move past conflict and not be afraid to call each other out and challenge the other’s assumptions and perspective#and just how they know what the other is trying to convey with their actions without words#i’m rambling again sorry#you get it#i am sure i didn’t miss anything right#lol#jesslupe#my loves#jess mccready#lupe garcia#aloto#a league of their own#jess rambles about lesbians
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Minor details in my MCD rewrite
the children of Phoenix Drop have more personality
The second gen of Phoenix drop all felt one sided. There’s such potential with them.
Like Malachi definitely would be overprotective of everyone, Alexis would have trauma surrounding her coma, Levin would have issues regarding his heritage— They ALL would be traumatized by the fact that their home was invaded while they were children.
Nana isn’t an infantilized character
I hate the way nana was written. There’s such potential to make a character who has a rich background and strong characterization. She has such an interesting past, the whole “cute” thing could be covering up some of her trauma
Aphmau is SO feral
She spawned, made bad jokes, fell into holes, kidnapped people and ate a zombie brain on accident— she wouldn’t be that diplomatic immediately.
I firmly believe she fought with her hands until she figured out how to craft weapons
Aphmau has short hair
She has long hair at the start but then cuts it. I feel it would be such a slay for her to have shoulder length hair, like a wolf cut or something layered
(Am I saying this because I got my hair cut short and I project onto my writing? Yes)
Aph is like invincible
Because of the 10 hearts in Minecraft, in my mind it translates to her being way more durable than anyone else. It’s insane how much she can handle.
Dante never had a crush on aph, rather he sees her as a sister
They’re close in age to me. Dante definitely would’ve missing having siblings or someone to talk. Aphmau lacks that strong familial connection, she can have parental figures but it’ll never be the same as having a sibling
(That’s me speaking from experience, being close to your parents doesn’t have the same feeling as being close to your siblings)
Season 2 characters appear earlier.
I am delusional so I’m scrambling the events of season two. Specially the events with Travis and Lucinda
THEY GET TO SAY FUCK
As many people have agreed with my post regarding cursing in mcd. I feel like it makes sense for my rewrite to have swears. It would be so much funnier. Aphmau deserves to curse, as a treat
#aphverse#aphblr#minecraft diaries#mcd#mcd aphmau#mcd rewrite#aphmau#somnas.writes#anti-jess and jason#mcd nana#i have a lot of things that I’m changing and adding#because it’s a good story#there are compelling details but it was handled so horribly#with some ducktape glittery stickers and a good wash it would be amazing#thats what Im doing for it#the rewrite is taking a while cause I’m getting my ass kicked in school#and by my suppressed feeling about my childhood#im working on it though#both issues
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Thought I would update:
#personal*#jess talks#I am by no means fully better#I will never be fully better in all honesty#BUT#the last few days have been such a turn around from the weeks before#/some positivity is heading my way and that’s good#I don’t want to jinx anything by talking about it#but things have semi improved#certain stress related subjects have got good ish conclusions#so the stress my whole family felt is lifting#again I’m still waiting for it to flip on its head again#but there’s progress being made I guess#I’ve also made a doctors appointment to talk about the numerous things wrong with me#so that’s eased me a little too#but yeh - a semi decent update#I personally am feeling better mentally#I feel more myself again#still have blips and weird spikes of anxiety#but I’m actually able to eat again without wanting to hurl#and I feel more comfortable doing things again#like I cleaned all the floors of my house yesterday…#not to mention lots of good long chill seshs/talks in the garden with both parents#I have a sleepover with my sister planned for tomorrow so I’m looking forward to that#just yeh#thought you guys deserved an update
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Y'all it is so fucking hard to write Blazein in MyStreet when all your canon reference material is Phoenix Drop High Season 2 and When Angels Fall. Like. Yeah I can take stuff from all the things with the voice actors but like. Ugh. Their dynamic is real to me, it's so real, it exists, but it's not actually in MyStreet. They never interacted in the manner they were meant to! Ein's casual toxicity meeting Blaze's dumb ass sincerity is just a recipe for disaster or something beautiful and maybe even both. But there's not any canon material I can source for that so I guess that's what this stupid long fic is for.
#the only reason Blaze and Ein were never in a minigame together is because Jess knew#she knew that Jason L and Chris would start flirting in character and it would be OVER#Blazein is a ship that exists entirely thanks to non canon Aphmau material#and people liking toxic ship dynamics#it feels like Im going insane sometimes when I get so passionate about them#because they literally dont have any wholesome interactions!!#i have to work so hard to make this happen!!#but its so worth it#wow that was a lot#...anyway#xer's rambles#white milk and bacon#blazein
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Nick/Jess, 15!
15. i’ll save you a seat (from this prompt list)
IT’S MILLER’S TIME
The bestselling author of the hit YA series ‘The Pepperwood Chronicles’ opens up about seeing his work adapted for television, his new novel, and becoming a father.
LOS ANGELES - The lunchtime crowd at Gogo’s Tacos in Silver Lake is more plentiful and aggressive than the colleague who recommended the spot for my interview with Nick Miller led me to believe it would be on a weekday, which means I spend the twenty minutes between when I show up (ten minutes early) and when he arrives (ten minutes late and convincingly apologetic about it) fighting off other patrons who are convinced I’m lying about expecting someone and want to steal his seat. His appearance in the busy restaurant is welcome for more reasons than one.
We’re here to discuss the new Netflix adaptation of his bestselling book series, The Pepperwood Chronicles, into a television series. The first season, which drops this Friday on the streaming platform, takes on the Herculean task of adapting the first book in the series (clocking in at 628 pages) into just eight episodes of television. It’s a highly anticipated project for the army of Pepperheads out there, who want to see if Sebastian Stan truly has what it takes to embody the titular grizzled New Orleans detective from Miller’s beloved novels, but it’s not the only project that’s been occupying Miller’s time lately. He’s also got his debut novel for the adult market, the stylishly-titled HoBo, which draws heavily on his childhood in Chicago, coming out in November. But the project he’s most anxious to brag about is one he had—by his own admission—very little to do with, aside from the original idea. The lion’s share of the credit belongs to his wife.
“This is Reggie,” he says, stretching his phone across the table proudly, swiping through dozens of photos of a pleasantly chunky infant in a Chicago Bears onesie. “Oh, and that’s Mario,” he says, when we get to a photo of a dog sniffing the same baby, asleep in a car seat and wearing a hooded jacket with bear ears.
“I know he looks like a funky little alien right now, but my wife says that most babies get really cute around the six month mark,” Miller says, after suddenly remembering that he has tacos he could be eating. He takes an enormous bite of one before making a face. “God, don’t print that. My son is already adorable. I love him.”
We debate whether or not I can actually print that comment (guess who won) for a few minutes before Miller finally allows us to move on. I ask, given his penchant for drawing details from his own life to use in his novels, if this recent development for him means we can expect the next Pepperwood installment to find Julius Pepperwood and his leading lady, Jessica Knight, contemplating parenthood.
“I don’t know about that,” Miller says, with his mouth full. “It’s not that one-to-one for me. Yes, Pepperwood is based on me in some ways, but in many other ways he isn’t, you know? Same goes for Jessica Knight. She’s based on my wife, definitely, but I’ve never felt constricted by that. I’ve always felt like the characters follow their own path, though they take inspiration from my real life.”
In this answer, Miller has given me both an articulate response and neatly sidestepped giving any confirmation of further Pepperwood installments, which forces me to ask the question directly. His face goes blank for a moment afterwards, and he spends a while chewing before he attempts to answer.
“I’m not saying no,” he finally replies, wiping his hands on a napkin, while looking thoughtfully into the distance. “But I’m also not saying yes. There have been people—and my wife tells me not to read the reviews or the comments, but sometimes, you know, shit happens and you see some stuff—there’s people who think Pepperwood is too happy now. They liked him when he was tortured. Now, he’s got the love of his life by his side, he solved his brother’s murder, he made peace with his father. It’s like, where’s the tension anymore? But at the same time, I don’t want to make him miserable again just to sell more books.”
Miller talks about Pepperwood (and Knight and all of his characters) like they’re real people, a fact he shrugs off when I point it out.
“Of course,” he says. “Of course they’re real to me. It’s important to remember that they’ve been with the readers for six books now, but they’ve been with me for longer than that. And they don’t leave me alone when the book is done, either, like they do for my readers.”
They don’t seem to leave his readers alone after the last page, actually, if the healthy fandom producing fanart and fanfiction online are any indication. Miller, of course, has thoughts.
“I’m pleased about it,” he says, with his usual Chicago-born nonchalance. “It’s always made me happy that my work resonates with people, especially young people. I didn’t see that coming, in the beginning. It wasn’t supposed to be a YA series.”
The origins of The Pepperwood Chronicles are the publishing world’s version of a Cinderella story. Miller initially published the first book in the series himself at the encouragement of his friends, hawking the hand bound (!) copies at local bookstores with the encouragement of his then-girlfriend, as well as his future wife (“Two different women,” he clarifies. “It’s a long story.”) The hefty novel all about the seedy underbelly of New Orleans very quickly found a devoted fan base amongst a surprising audience: teenage girls. Where other authors might have bristled, Miller instead took his unexpected champions in stride.
“Like, there was definitely some initial shock to get over,” he explains. “If I’d known I was writing to teenagers specifically, I would have cut, well, a few things from that manuscript.” He’s referring delicately to some pretty explicit sex scenes and graphic violence, which definitely get toned down in later installments of the series. Confronted with this, Miller shrugs and says only, “That’s show biz!”
Speaking of show biz, how does he feel about the Netflix adaptation of his work?
“It was really interesting,” he offers, thoughtfully. “I’m grateful they didn’t ask me to write it, because it turns out I’m a terrible screenwriter.” Before I can ask him to elaborate on that, he continues, “But the team really did check in with me a lot and they made sure the tone felt right, and the changes they had to make worked with my understanding of the world and the characters. I felt like they really respected Pepperwood, which obviously means a lot to me.”
Miller is being generous, of course, considering he and his wife are both executive producers on the series. When I mention this, however, he waves it off. “They still could have told me to fuck off with my opinions,” he says.
As for working with his wife in that capacity, he’s more than happy to sing her praises. “She’s great. Aside from myself, she’s the person I trust most to get Pepperwood, you know? Like my editors and my agent and everybody, they’re amazing, but if I’m really stuck, Jess is the one I can turn to and be like ‘does this work? Or does it suck?’ And she’ll tell me. She’s always been that person for me. She’s the first person I shared the first draft of the first book with, so her input is invaluable. Or is it valuable?”
“They mean the same thing,” I tell him.
“That’s stupid,” he replies. “I mean, I’m not calling you stupid. The English language is stupid sometimes. My wife’s input is very important to me, is what I’m saying. Her instincts are spot on.”
And they should be, after all. When she’s not producing the Pepperwood TV series with her husband, Jessica Day (yes, you’re reading that right. Miller’s wife and the inspiration for his character Jessica Knight is named Jessica Day. Check the dedication on the first Pepperwood novel if you don’t believe me) works for Scholastic, as a part of their team that handles community outreach to K-12 schools across the country. (Miller’s publishing deal is with an imprint of Simon & Schuster, in case anyone is worried about favoritism.) Before that, she worked briefly in the nonprofit industry and as a middle school teacher and later vice principal.
“She understands the demographic perfectly,” Miller summarizes, fifteen minutes into an endearing monologue about how great his wife is. “I think the writers for the TV show liked having her around even more than having me. She really knows her stuff.”
When I follow up a few days later with Ms. Day for comment, her husband’s remarks amuse but don’t surprise her. “He’s always giving me too much credit,” she says, humbly.
Does it weird her out at all, to have so many people so intensely invested in the fictionalized version of her love life?
“It’s funny. I know the names are really similar and obviously Nick borrows things here and there from our real life,” she says, “but I really don’t feel like Jessica Knight is me. So I don’t take it personally at all.”
This isn’t the first time this attitude has come up in interviews. Last year, when casting was announced for the Netflix series, Day made headlines for defending the production’s decision to cast British actress Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Jessica Knight after many fans claimed she didn’t match Knight’s description in the books.
“Gugu’s a very talented actress. I’ve seen her screen tests and she will blow you away when you see the show, I promise!” Day took to Twitter to say at the time.
“She capture [sic] JK’s energy perfectly,” she added in a further tweet. “Please welcome her to the Pepperwood family as we have!”
Now, Day is less diplomatic in her response. “It was a small portion of fans who were upset,” she says, “but they were the loudest contingency. It was very upsetting, and honestly tacky. So what if she doesn’t look like me? The character isn’t me, first of all. And the books are set in New Orleans, for God’s sake! It would be stupid if the entire main cast was white people.”
When I accuse her of saying the quiet part loud, as the kids say, Day seems nonplussed. “It’s those new mom hormones, I guess,” she replies, as a baby cries in the background of the phone call as if on cue. “I just don’t give a fu…dge.”
Miller, during our interview, feels similarly. “The team went with the best people for the parts, and we made it clear, my wife and I, that they absolutely weren’t trying to cast our doppelgängers. That wasn’t the point. Honestly, it would have freaked me out if they had.”
So he doesn’t think he and Stan look alike?
“No, not at all,” he says, automatically. “Do you?”
“He kind of seems like a more Hollywood version of you, yeah.”
Miller takes a long time thinking this over. “That’s…huh…”
In order to distract him from the existential spiral I’ve inadvertently led him down, I switch us over to the topic of his new book, HoBo. It’s made several lists of most anticipated books for this fall (including this publication’s) but there was a while there where Miller feared the manuscript would never see the light of day.
“The publisher thought it was too dark for the teen market,” he says, without any of the smarmy pride one would expect from the average male author accused of being ‘too dark’ by The Man. “I had no idea! I thought Pepperwood was too dark for teens and they loved it! So, there was a bit there when I was like, ‘okay, so this is the end, I guess.’”
Miller isn’t being melodramatic either. There was a moment, according to him and confirmed by his editor, Merle Streep, where they considered parting ways. Luckily, they came to an understanding once the dust settled and Miller pitched the novel, then titled “Chicago Hobo”, for the adult market. The source of this brilliant solution? You guessed it: Jessica Day.
“My wife’s a genius,” Miller states. “It was so simple and yet none of us could see it. Of course they should market the book to adults, if they thought it was too gritty for teens. Obviously.”
Day, however, downplays her contribution. “The issue with the manuscript came to a head on our wedding day, if you can believe it. On our honeymoon, it was all Nick could talk about. He was worried he’d never publish another book again. I suggested he send the manuscript around to other publishers to see if there was interest, but pitch it as, you know, a book for grownups. I thought it would make him feel better. I had no idea that the minute he did that, his original publisher would come back to him with a deal.”
But that’s exactly what they did. He’s also on the hook for three more books after that, though he’s cagey with details about if those will be HoBo sequels, further Pepperwood adventures, or something else entirely.
“We’re in a really pivotal moment,” Miller says, looking a little bit sweaty as he admits it. “We’ll see how Pepperwood does as a TV show, we’ll see how people feel about HoBo when it comes out.” He pauses to laugh. “We’ll see if being a father completely fries my brain and I never write another coherent sentence ever again.”
Early reviews and chatter are saying that the new novel is every bit as cinematic as The Pepperwood Chronicles, which suggests a screen adaptation is more a matter of “when” than “if.” It is, by Miller’s own admission, even more autobiographical than Pepperwood (the preteen narrator is Travis Tiller, called “Trick” by his friends, so do with that what you will). It’s based, in many ways, on his childhood in Chicago, but it’s also equal parts dystopian speculative fiction and superhero origin story, with a heavy pour of magical realism to wash it down. The cinematic universe practically writes itself.
“We just don’t know,” Miller replies vaguely. No matter what I do, I can’t get him to speculate on bringing this book to the small or big screen. “I don’t want to jinx anything,” he adds, frantically, after many such questions.
Fine. But, as pure speculation, what actor does he think, potentially, has what it takes to bring the eponymous hobo to life on screen?
“Rock Hudson,” he says, after much bullying.
When I inform him that Rock Hudson is dead and has been for more than 30 years, Miller looks crestfallen. What about preteen Trick Tiller, then? Is there anyone Miller would entrust to play his younger self?
“Cate Blanchett,” he replies.
When I point out that she’s both older than him and a different gender, he frowns. “She played Bob Dylan, though,” he counters, confused. I concede that he’s got me there.
We return to the much safer topic of conversation that is the current adaptation of one of his novels. What’s he most looking forward to now that the show is finally premiering?
“Getting to go on a date with my wife,” he says, sincerely, with the dead-eyed stare of a sleep-deprived new parent. “Seriously. We’re getting a sitter to watch the baby, we’re bringing a few of our close friends, who are all getting sitters for their babies. It’s going to be really fun. It’s going to be a classic mess around.”
A what?
“Don’t worry about it,” Miller says.
Is there anyone whose opinion he’s particularly anxious about, when it comes to the TV show? Or even his new novel?
“I’m always worried about what the fans think. I want the Pepperwood fans to like the show. I want them to like the new book, even though it’s not about Pepperwood, you know?”
Does he think there will be crossover?
“Absolutely I do, yes,” he says, emphatically. “The kids who read Pepperwood when it first came out—this is terrifying to say, but—they’re grown up now. They’re in college or they’re young professionals. HoBo is written for their age group now. It will be marketed to them.”
It’s kind of like they’ve grown up with him.
“Don’t say that,” Miller replies, putting his head in his hands dramatically. “I’m gonna have a panic attack. Having an actual biological child is scary enough.”
Speaking of scary, to distract him from another existential crisis, I ask if he’s been starstruck at any part of the process of turning his beloved novels into a TV show, and his answer is surprising to say the least.
“I mean, I was a little bit starstruck meeting Alfred Molina the first time. He was already in costume as Schmith, too, which was an extra level of weird,” he says, referring to the iconic love-to-hate-him villain of the first Pepperwood book and a supporting player in many of the series’s other installments. Still, Miller eventually got used to the idea of Doc Ock himself being in the show.
“Oh, I know my big starstruck moment,” he adds. “When Taylor Swift tweeted about the trailer. That was like…Woah! Is this really happening?”
That’s right. When the show’s first trailer debuted in March, the Grammy-winning singer took to Twitter to express her excitement.
“I can’t believe how good this looks,” she tweeted with the emoji of the cat making the Home Alone face. “Is it September yet?!?”
Can we take his excitement over this interaction the confirmation we’ve all been waiting for that Nick Miller is a Swiftie?
“I don’t know what that is, but I like her. She’s really talented. When my wife’s upset, she likes to listen to Taylor Swift and cry while she drinks pink wine,” he says, before taking a troubled pause. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that.”
Day laughs when I tell her this anecdote during our phone call and gives me the go-ahead to print it. “It’s true,” she says. “Who cares?”
So, if they had to pick a Swift song to represent Julius Pepperwood and Jessica Knight’s relationship, what would it be?
Miller’s answer is simple: “You should ask my wife.”
Day’s response, on the other hand, is more complex. “I think it evolves over time, you know, from book to book. Probably in the early books, before they get together for real, it’s ‘Out of the Woods’ or ‘Wildest Dreams.’ Maybe even ‘White Horse,’ if you want to go back into her catalog.”
What about for her and Miller?
“That’s easy,” Day says, and the smile is obvious in her voice. “I’ve always thought of ‘Mine’ as our song of hers.”
This conversation mostly just confirms Miller’s assertion that his wife knows his characters just as well as he does. It also begs the important question of whether he’ll use this big moment in his career as leverage to arrange a meeting between Swift and his wife.
“I don’t know,” he says, honestly. “Maybe? I should ask Jess. She might kill me if I pulled that on her with no warning.”
As our meal and interview come to an end, I can’t help asking Miller a question that has been on my mind the whole time: with all this talk of how great and inspiring his wife is, and how integral to his creative process she’s become, does he happen to identify as a Wife Guy?
“I don’t know what that is either. You keep saying these things—I’ve never heard of them before,” he admits. “But I like the sound of it. So, yeah. I guess so. Unless it’s a bad thing. In which case, no. Was that—did I answer your question?”
In this case, just like so many of Nick Miller’s characters before us, we might have to make peace with an ambiguous ending.
•
The Pepperwood Chronicles premieres exclusively on Netflix this Friday.
#forgive any stupid mistakes it should go without saying that I’m not an actual journalist#also I genuinely don’t even know what year to pretend this is set in…who knows tbh??#I have a lot of feelings about the Pepperwood chronicles it turns out phew#new girl#nick miller#jessica day#nick x jess#god this was so fun to write#taylor swift song prompts#firstelevens#homelywenchsociety#<just my writing tag don’t worry about it#IDK IT IS WHAT IT IS!!#there’s so many Easter eggs in this….a whole basket’s worth#barely relates to the prompt I tried
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Heyyy so i encountered or rather reencountered a Dutch song by comedian Claudia de Breij (went to a show of hers today! Was great) and it most of it made me think of jess? And his like father-y relationship with Luke?? If they were both less emotionally constipated, that is. I translated it, was wondering what you thought <3
Hide could also mean in this instance "take shelter"
And i dont know how accurate of an English sentence 'could i come to you' is, but its basically the same thing as 'could i come over [to Your house]'
When the war comes
And i have to hide
Could i come to you?
If there comes a club
That i dont (want to) belong to
Could i come to you?
If there comes a rule
That i cant fulfill
Could i come to you?
And if i have to be something,
That ive never been
Could i come to you?
(chorus)
Could i hide with you?
When i cant anywhere else
And if i have to cry
Will you dry my tears?
Cause if i could come to you
You can always come to me
Come whenever you want
Ill keep a room free for you
When the storm comes
And i am afraid
Could i come to you?
When the night falls
And its too dark for me
Could i come to you?
When the spring comes
And im in love
Could i come to you
If the love comes
And i know for sure
Could i come to you?
(chorus x2)
When the end comes
And i am afraid
Could i come to you?
(x2)
Reading this actually made me tear up. it fits them so well. I've been reading and re-reading the lyrics for the past 5 minutes and every time I get tears in my eyes.
thank you so much for sending this to me. Jess and Luke's relationship is very dear to me. it's one of the primary reasons why s3 is my favorite season. even at his most destructive, luke loved jess so much and jess did too, even if he didn't realize it until he grew up. like that scene when jess wouldn't comes back to stars hollow for liz's wedding but only agrees later because luke asks him to? and when jess almost freezes in his car because he's a stubborn idiot? and luke waits in his truck until he made sure jess got into the dinner safely? it makes me tear up every time. they're both too emotionally stunted but they care so much about each other.
"when the war comes, and I have to take shelter, could I come to you?"
"you're hoping for reciprocation? You got it. I'm here, Jess. I'm always here."
(I hope you had fun at the show btw! 💙)
#also they're so similar it's insane#i did a post on that once#one day i'm hoping to actually write down all the similarities between them as teenagers#from what luke says about his childhood it feels like they were the same person#off the top of my head#luke once tells lorelai “i spent a lot of afternoons where i was supposed to be at school here [the diner]”#and he also tells her about his high school “3 years of going there I have no good memories. None. Kids were as dumb then as they are now.”#like if that not the most jess thing to ever say i don't know what is#didn't mean to ramble so much but ugh they make me feel things#gilmore girls#luke and jess
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Here's some angst, because sometimes bodies just feel like a mess. plus a bad background xoxo
#NOTES ARE IN THE TAGS LOOK DOWN HERE I was too lazy to put them on the post#cause then I’d have to be coherent and why do that when I could just ramble wordvomit about it instead#ANYWAY... healing isnt linear!#especially since like. lmao he's not done being surgeried xoxo#turns out if a lot of your body is made up of tech. taking said tech out. may shut it down a bit...#anyway so yea that's whats happening.#waking up in the night bc his body is on fire bc sure yeah its healing but theres still screws and bolts in places that hurt.#and he didnt feel so bad before they pulled everything out because things held themselves in place...#but now everything is loose and things need to be replaced ASAP and thats just possible because the body needs time between#exerimental surgeries (who the hell has reversed this bad of techno union augmentation before?)#and...#and sometimes. sometimes fives lives in a world where it feels like he could lose echo again at any moment. and he's so scared#he almost lost everyone and everything and now... he has echo.#he has kix and jesse and tup and dogma... and he has echo.#YEAH okay#And. to make things clear: echo's skin tone IS based off photos of temuera morrison#when he had probably not seen much sun in a while.#AND the white patches are chemical-induced vitiligo (skin pigment cells died)#*BUT*#that being said. i clearly have room to grow in my art and if it's wrong to have portrayed him this way#please let me know.#thanks <3#saleucami au#arc trooper echo#arc trooper fives#star wars: the clone wars#star wars#my art#mimse art
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i don’t understand ppl who leave their packing, until the last minute. i am already packing and i don’t go anywhere for over a week, imao
#*walter white voice* jesse we need to pack#imao i’m watching brba and thinking about packing at 2am#i actually haven’t started packing but i’m gonna pack all my clothes and just leave everything else until the day before#bc a lot of stuff i still need in the meantime#i also need to put pins on my jacket but that’s a separate thing that i keep forgetting to do#bc i think a lot of my best pins would be better on my jacket#i actually need to work out which clothes i’m wearing#like which ones to pack and which ones i’m wearing on the drive#i’m planning on probably just wearing sweats and a regular ass shirt#and i’ll dress up when i’m actually there#and i gotta make sure i have my meds all sorted#and i need to make sure i don’t forget anything and that i keep everything safe#this post is kinda just me talking to myself imao#but honestly they usually are#okay but like someone tell me to not to pack at 2am bc i can literally do it tomorrow during the day but my brain is like ‘pack now!!’#bc i have it stuck in my head#imao i’m also only going for three days but travelling is a whole thing with me#leaving the house in general is a whole thing with me#what may seem like nothing to some people is a huge deal to me#like wow you’re going on vacation for three days? so what?#but this is only the second time i’ve done this#and the longest i’ll have been away from home aside from when i was in the hospital#so yeah it’s a big deal#the worst part is the travel tho#when i’m actually there i’ll have a fun time bc i did last time#well kinda i also got homesick and was in the middle of a depressive episode but i digress#but this time i’m not! so go me!#gwen actually leaves the house and feels good about it for once!#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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im thinking ab mike again and i just. love moments in the gilliverse where mike is disillusioned with gus or challenges him on shit bc it goes against the audiences initial perception of him where he functions as gus’ primary sort of “yes-man”.
like his near pleading to not have to kill werner & his insistence that they find some way to not just outright kill nacho after using him like his life means nothing are what makes him human to me.. (he still does these terrible things & has to live with them obviously but it’s so important to me that even years & years in he still questions his orders) & i wonder if he didn’t (he did) also see the similarities in the way gus treated nacho as less than human/“a dog” & the way walt treated jesse.
walt was apt to use a heavier & more inexperienced hand than gus used to manipulate jesse (& others) in brba, but the way gus treats nacho in bcs (also seemingly heavy handed & inexperienced) is just. eerily similar. to the extent that it’s hard to put into words but has to be so obvious to mike who was so affected by nacho’s death that he reached out to his father in an attempt to comfort himself…
walt has his claws in jesse even deeper than gus could have ever imagined with nacho, though, with years of trauma bonding between them and a preexisting student & teacher dynamic and with jesse also functioning as the scapegoat & the “dog” i cannot imagine how wearily mike had to have come to that realization. like. i would also be as emotionally standoffish & hesitant to show jesse anything other than the most stone cold demeanor if yet another figure walked into my life to bring out my dormant paternal tendencies & warm and protective feelings only to eventually be violently taken (sometimes by my own hands) from me yet again
#this is so long i just have sooo many feelings ab mike#and mike and jesse and mike and nacho and mike and kaylee and mike and matty etc#brbabcs#i think a lot about scenarios where mike lived after being shot#and exactly how pissed he would be about what walt did to jesse#gv#mike ehrmantraut#oh it speaks#gilliverse#breaking bad#better caul sall#jesse pinkman#nacho varga#meta#jesse
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If Red Lantern Rankorr has 1000 haters one of them is me. If he has 100 haters I'm there. If he only has 1 hater that is me. If no one hates him I am no longer on this Earth. I hate Rankorr. Fuck that bitch
LMAOO going through my drafts rn and damn I really hated this guy. I mean I still do but idk this is funny to me
#the fact that i have more drafts than followers...#which ok isnt that impressive theres like 30 of you guys but still all my shitty dc drafts#i say shitty but its really just a mix between posts that i feel like i havent read enough comics to back up fully and dont want to seem#ignorant about (comma) stuff thats more shippy than usual (still like incredibly tame though)#and then like the stupidest fuckin future 0 note posts youve ever seen#also like some reading guides and meta in progress but thats split between here and my notes app generally#its so funny though bc i always get my best ideas abt comics like 2 minutes before one of my classes start#and then i forget about it in my drafts#like theres an absolutely devastating (to me) jess one that has like 2 sentences written#which i should like actually write#what was i saying?#oh and theres a lot of reading guides/comic recs thats where i save those#which now after scrolling thru rlly makes me want to read#where tf was this post going again? oh i was laughing at me hating rankorr#if i wrote comics id ressurect him off panel just to kill him again. if hes dead. i dont remember if hes dead but i think so? who tf knows#blah#i can make a vers without my dumb little comment on here btw if anyone actually wants to rb this lol but i doubt it
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girl help i'm emo over my emotional support 1980s cult classic musical again
#jess speaks#thinking about skid row (downtown) and how heartbreaking and relatable it is#because skid row doesn't necessarily HAVE to be a place. it can be a situation or a lifestyle or even a state of mind#anything you feel is trapping you and preventing you from doing more. from BEING more#seymour's entire verse especially makes me want to run full speed straight into a wall (affectionate)#ive been feeling every line of that verse a lot lately. its always been a big reason why i relate to seymour so much#it's just. aughhhh it just captures the feeling of desperation and clinging on to whatever hope you may have left for dear life so well#anyway if youre going to listen to one song from little shop let it be that one. it's a masterpiece
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