#i have a lot more thoughts but im not going to write u an essay

[embersofhope-if]

Why don’t you think the game-makers would let an unhinged MC live very long? Remember Clive wanting to cut up Katniss’s face and kill her slow? Or that tribute who had her teeth sharpened so she could bite out throats? Capital loves watching sick teens kill each other honestly.

The Capitol does like watching sick teens kill each other but they don't like those sick teens winning the games. It's difficult to market someone who is very obviously deranged. From what I remember Enobaria (the girl with sharpened teeth) didn't have her teeth sharpened till after she had won. Im going to get kind of off-topic here, but I don't think she got into the arena and had just decided that she wants to rip people's throats out. It was something done out of pure instinct and desperation to survive and because she did manage to survive she had to play the role of a ruthless killer. And that is marketable and aligns with how District 2 victors tend to act but Mc going around and mutilating corpses in the name of the one they love isn't something to be expected from a District 8 tribute.

[ickadori]

Ahhhhh bae u popped off with the sukuna smut 😭 u returned and with a vengeance bc OMG. My stomach dropped when he said the baby part, and pretending to delete her essay, hes sooooo mean istg i have never been wetter. Im gonna be thinking about THIS sukuna for the next few days bc hes so yummyyyyyyy. The kind of yummy u daydream abt and cant even think of anything bc HOW did u characterize him like that?!?!?! Im obsessed, stuuuupid obsessed with him- also her being yuuji's girl is insane IDC i would fold so bad for him hehsksksk like pretend to be drunk and go into the 'wrong bedroom' and wake him up with the messiest head ughhhhhh

Choso's bbg anon (tho i might have to change my name soon 🤧)

cws for reader being a dirtball (infidelity). dubcon oral (sukuna is sleeping but wakes up and is into it). degradation. brief mention of drugs (weed).

choso bbg anon heyyyu!!!!!! hehe how are you :3 i’m glad you liked that sukuna thing 😭 im trying to get back into the groove of writing before working on the stuff i abandoned iskdkd

-

You were drunk, but you weren’t that drunk.

You had been in Yuji and Sukuna’s shared apartment many times, and you had the placed mapped out clearly in your mind. You could navigate it in your dark if needed, and yet you had found yourself in a room staunchly different from your boyfriend’s.

While Yuji’s bedroom was a bit messy, yet still appearing clean, and had posters plastered on his walls that you were slowly convincing him to replace with actual good decorative pieces — it was boyish, full of that boyish charm that had originally drawn you to him in the first place, but this one was more…mature.

The room was dark, a digital clock on the other side of the room offering a dim illumination, but you could make out the black, abstract paintings placed on the walls, the shoes neatly lined on a rack, the absence of clothes scarcely thrown about the room. It was clean, tidy, smelled faintly of cleaning chemicals and strongly of marijuana.

It most certainly was not your boyfriend’s room, and yet you still found yourself shutting the door and creeping towards his bed, plush carpet feeling like heaven underneath your feet, feet that had been confined in heels for the entirety of your girl’s night out.

After five steps your shins hit the bed, and perhaps you’re a bit drunker than you originally thought, because you go tumbling face first into the mattress with a muffled yelp followed by a flurry of giggles as you right yourself.

There’s a large lump underneath the covers, and you begin to feel over it with your hands, lips pursed and head tilted as you try to remember why you had originally come in here. Your mind is a little sloshy thanks to the cocktails your friends had practically dumped down your throat, but you can somewhat remember the tipsy conversation the lot of you had that had prompted your current actions.

It was centered around Sukuna, because of course it was, or more specifically, how fucking hot he was and if he was a good lay or not, their words, not yours. You shouldn’t have paid the conversation any attention with you being Yuji’s girlfriend (you use the term loosely - the both of you had only just started dating) and Sukuna being his brother, but you couldn’t deny that you had wondered the same thing as well.

You had caught a few risqué peeks at what he was hiding underneath his work overalls that were frequently stained with engine oil, and you couldn’t deny that it seemed to be a nice size (him and Yuji had that in common it seemed), but size didn’t always equate to performance, as you had unfortunately learned with past partners.

You come back to the present when you manage to pull Sukuna’s covers off to the side, revealing a nearly naked man underneath. The illumination from the digital clock casts a glow over him, and a pulse starts between your thighs as you taken in the hard earned muscles that’re covered in various tattoos.

You audibly swoon.

Before you can think about the consequences of your actions, both good and bad, your fingers are already tugging at the front of his boxers and pulling down to reveal a thick, erect cock. You let out a shaky breath at the sight. It’s…big. Bigger than Yuji’s by a tad - thick from base to tip. It thuds against his stomach, twitching at the contact, and you shuffle closer, saliva pooling in your mouth as you lower your head.

The scent of his body wash is strong, but you can detect a bit of his natural musk underneath it, the smell growing stronger the closer you get, and you breathe in deep as the heat emanating from his cock warms your lips.

This is bad, terrible even! You think, and yet your tongue still flicks out to lick up the underside of his shaft, lashes fluttering at the taste of him. He shifts a bit but you pay it no attention, lips closing around the thick head and suckling. His pre-cum hits your tastebuds, and you can’t help the moan that you let out, head slowly bobbing as you work more of him into your mouth.

Drool trails down the length of his shaft and wets the pink mess of curls at his groin, and you gag as you take him in further and breathe hard through your nose. Your head pulls back, cock slipping out of your mouth with a wet pop, and there’s not a thought in your mind as you quickly take him back in, tongue lapping at his leaking slit before you’re taking him into your throat.

Your panties become sticky with your slick, and you tightly press your thighs together as your head quickly bobs up and down, cock slipping further and further until your nose is nestled in his pubic hair and your eyes are squeezed shut.

You go to pull back for a much needed breath of air, only for two hands to grab ahold of the sides of your head and keep you in place. A low, tired tsk sounds, and your hole clenches around nothing as you blink your eyes open to just barely make out Sukuna’s face.

“And Yuji liked you so much,” he grinds his hips up into your face, forcing another gag from you, and his legs move so his feet are flat on the bed, hands still keeping you in place. “Even asked me what can kind of promise ring to get you.” His hands move to fist at your hair, and you wince as he pulls your head up, cock slipping from your mouth once again. You whine at the loss. “And look at you - gagging on his brother’s cock. Didn’t even have to ask.”

“Suku—”

“Shut the fuck up and keep your mouth open.” You gasp at his words, and he takes the moment to force himself back in, cockhead plunging in deep and making your hands fly up to grab ahold of muscled thighs. “That idiot always finds the sluttiest girls. The ones that think with their slutty fucking cunts and nothing else.”

His voice is near a growl as he fucks your face, a mixture of drool and pre-cum spilling down your chin as your ‘slutty fucking cunt’ clenches around nothing - oh!

Your lashes flutter shut as your muscles seize up, a muffled moan sounding past the cock lodged down your throat, and Sukuna pauses for a beat.

“Nasty bitch. You just came, didn’t you?” You don’t have the dignity to shake your head, instead squeezing your thighs together tighter as your tongue moves against his length. He grins through a dark laugh as he cants his hips down, tip of his cock nestled between your now swollen lips, before snapping them up.

“Yeah, ‘m gonna have fun with you.”

[thatdeadaquarius]

About language brainrot. Imagine writer creator reader who finally learns how to write in Teyvat's weird symbols and they want to publish their book. They decided to do it anonymously to avoid the "aaaaaah our creator wrote the holy scripture" sort of situation. Except it didn't work. The reader's style is too different from the rest of the world, so even if they tried to simulate the flowery speech it wasn't effective.

Another thing. Reader who decided to read some local books to practice their reading. They asked for something simple and similar to their speech. But the only books merely similar to it are 2000 and more years old. It's funny how the older text is the more you can understand it. On this note. If reader write something i feel like it would be hard to understand for Teyvat's people.

Imagine a reader who is autistic or has any other NDs imparing their communication skills. They practically trained themselves to say sertain phrases in sertain situation. But it doesn't work in Teyvat. And everything just stacks at each other. Difference in speech, being a God (so people react weirdly to you), bad communication skills, not understanding nonverbal cues and so on. There's gonna be a lot of misunderstanding. I imagine how followers would walk on the eggshells not to upset and angry their God and reader who does the same not to say something people will get wrong. Again.

Reader who regained all their memories of creating Teyvat, they're super powerful and stuff. But they still struggle with the modern language. Because all the memories are like millions years old.

✨️NEXYLAZA UR SO FUCKING SMART AND CREATIVE✨️ UR BRAIN>>>>>> EVERYTHING

GIF Akashi (black hair) is all the people who read the Sagau/Isekai Genshin tag and Bokuto (silver) is STILL ME RANTING ABOUT LANGUAGE IN TEYVAT LMAO

They cant escape me, sorry people who just wanted to read SAGAU normal things, im filling up the tag💀

I HAD OTHER ASKS BEFORE THIS ONE AND AS I GOT THRU EM I WAS "OMMGGGG WE'RE GETTIN CLOSER TO NEXY'SSSS ASSSKKKK EEEEEEE"

YOU ARE A GODDAMN GENIUS

DHALALWKDHDHS

ME ABOUT THIS ASK:

(^ lol biblically accurate deadaquarius)

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGINNNN

BRAINROTTING OVER UR ENTIRE ASK!!

♡

Also, its getting kinda old now, so here is the blunt language v. Teyvat's flowery language post for reference! :)

Hhhhhhhhhhh

IF U WRITE STUFF

AND UR IN WORDY TEYVAT LAND

AINT NO WAY,👏

U COULD EVEN, 👏👏

GET CLOSE👏👏👏

TO THESE BITCHES SPEECH👏👏👏👏

◇

Like,, imagine right now if i told you to write me 4 pages of an essay in entirely early 18th century vernacular.

(For reference: when the story Pride & Prejudice takes place)

... like??

Bitch aint no way u can do that and actually show that to a historian or an actual living person from that time period

and them actually say "wow! An excellently worded 18th century essay!"

💀.

◇

So tying into that whole, "the only simple texts are like literal cunnieform clay tablets or sm shit"

Your writing to them just sounds like if a scribe just copied off what one of those tablets said just onto paper HAHA

And like, if u try and dress it up, it just ends up sounding like its from a slightly later time period

Like if ur casual writing sounds like 1 million years ago, u being flowery sounds like 8-7 thousand years ago u cant win LMAO

◇

Omg ur trying to go to that-

wait whats it called,,fuck i dont know Sumeru good enough yet

The.. HOUSE OF DAENA GOT IT

Yeah so ur thinking "Oh what better way to learn a dialect?/vernacular than reading books by them!"

And u basically snatch Alhaitham at the soonest possible chance to take you there

(Bc when i went in, it was just random lore books everywhere so)

Needless to say you have no clue how this place is organized, so u convince him to direct you to books u can easily read first

Like as close to your speech as possible!! U tell him :)

.

..

...lol

It literally takes like 3 hours to get something readable LMAO

Bc when the poor feeble scribe initially brought you smth he thought was pretty old and close to ur speech, like just first thought,

... It sounded like it was from the middle of the 18th century to you lol

So, with a "hmm" and a squint at the dusty book you'd already given up on

Alhaitham slowly went around the library making a stack of books, dropped them off in front of you... not a single sentence.

...then he made a stack of scrolls...

..nope..

...a stack of stone tablets...

.....getting closer?? it was really weird seeing Shakespearean language carved into stone....

...and then, with a conversation to a second library secretary deeper in the library, past a caged area of shelves to protect them...

...he escorts you behind the restricted section towards the back filled with glass display cases.

(Several of which contain the most ancient looking sets of artifacts you've ever seen)

...Finally, u arrive at a long glass case of several clay tablets.

Half of which sound like they're from the 1910s-20s, and the other, even older half, sounding straight out of the 2000s..

..

....

......

...Good god.

(Good..you??)

These crazy speaking bastard-previously-video-game-characters were right.

...

You are suddenly, viscerally hit with the image of Zhongli's idle, "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?" 💀

◇

Alhaitham side eyes you,, (he looks,, very interested, yet also kinda concerned??? HIM, CONCERNED????!!!)

"Ahem, the texts before thy Greatest Lord art the eldest- well, perhaps, more appropriately, the eldest and most intact, pieces of written language known to our humankind."

...

....aYOO MAN 😭😭

...Ur just staring at these half cracked, baked clay tablet thingys, full of slang from like 2003-

Alhaitham coughs.

"Uh, thanks. ...Sorry about all the.. trouble with this..."

BRO HOW OLD DOES HE THINK U ARE NOW-

"This task assigned to mine own person was of no trouble to my mind or spirit, Greatest Lord, fret not about it any longer."

And with a sort of shell-shocked atmosphere surrounding both of you, Alhaitham walks off to check out some other restricted books, hovering nearby yet also trying to give u space LOL

Top 10 cursed images: Seeing "Chillax, bro, dude, and weeb" carved into ancient clay tablets that look like they would be part of the Egyptian exhibit back in ur world 💀

◇

You eventually just kind of end up writing a couple pages after studying the writings, going younger and younger (nothing has ever made u feel more powerful...yet also more old..)

You stretch, just as Alhaitham finally has made his own little stack of creaky old books

He seems very curious to read what u wrote, peaking a glance over the top of his book every so often (lol nerd, cute nerd... but NERDDD)

You just offer the academic lunatic what he wants 🙄

"Haha, wanna take a look? Some drafts are... closer than others..."

The scribe immediately puts his book down, not even saving his page,

"I would be honored, Greatest Lord."

Is he excited?? 💀 omfg

U very slowly hand ur most recent practice pages over, he curls his hand under his chin "hmm" ing

...Alhaitham shakes his head

"My..deepest apologizes My Creator, but this still seems, at the earliest, from when papyrus was invented, and not yet even into scrolls..."

OK BUT ALHAITHAM WOULD GENUINELY GIVE NO FUCKS ABT CRITIQING YOU, HE MAY BE MORE POLITE ABT IT BUT EVEN IF U DID MAKE THE WORLD HES GOING FOR IT

KAVEH HAS A HEART ATTACK BC HIS ROOMMATE GOT ONTO GOD LMAO

U let ur head plop on ur pile of papers, srry babe youll never be as fancy as Mr. Darcy 😕

And as ur resting there, contemplating just walking out and finding smth to eat instead- same

Alhaitham picks up another draft.

Except it's your first attempt.

As in, you didn't even try, first attempt.

You just made some bullet point notes or some Bs, in ur regular. modern. language.

Alhaitham knocks his chair over standing up so fast-

(HE GETS SHUSHED BY THE RESTRICTED LIBRARIAN LOL, also another person unafraid to scold God lol)

...he says its a perfect example of the oldest records they've found of writing on the continent, most of which they haven't even translated yet

He asks u to teach him how to read this/speak like this lol

♧

(^^^not my best work but hope yall got smth outta it💀)

I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THE NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCE OF BEING A GOD IN TEYVAT

ESPECIALLY OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER VARIETY!!!

THERES JUST

ACK

aCK HDHAKD

SO MUCH

TO SAY

!!!

AHHHHH

OK BUT LIKE

IF WE ACTUALLY TOOK THIS TO THE EXTREME IM IMPLYING IT WOULD BE

LIKE TEYVAT SPEAKS SEVERAL DECADES BEHIND U- MAYBE EVEN ACTUALLY

CLOSE TO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE TIMES SPEECH

THEY WOULD LITERALLY BARELY COMPHREHEND YOU

IMAGINE TRYING TO TALK TO MR. DARCY 😭

THATS LITERALLY ALL OF TEYVAT

JUST

???¿¿?????!!! <- THEM ALL THE TIME

ESP IF UR NEURODIVERGENT

I THINK IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PROOF FOR THEM TO THINK UR GOD

BC UR BEHAVIOR WOULD BE "OFF" TO THEIR NEUROTYPICAL ASSES,

YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS,

LIKE UR MASKING MAYBE BUT

U CANT KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL THE TIME-

ESP IN CRAZY ISEKAI CIRCUMSTANCES

AND LIKE-

(ok ill tone it down before i also get shushed)

U used to be a player!!

Which would maybe mean u got rlly comfy playing Genshin all the time!

...like i know im kinda stimming when im gaming (and my natural stim is rocking so yeah no way they wouldnt notice that 💀)

So, since u may be still yknow unconsciously wanting to be comfy (esp around ur mains/team/favs)

U probably have stimmed a little around them, which, not that neurotypicals dont stim, but like

They would notice after awhile

And esp people like Alhaitham, Zhongli, Ningguang, Xiao, Ei, Aether/Lumine, Kaeya, Diluc, Kazuha, Heizou, Shenhe, Kokomi, Sara, Albedo, Dainsleif- !! GASP- !! <- my bbygirl omg i forgot abt u before now im so sorry </3

(once again i have not checked a character list, forgive my sins my readers)

^^^ Are like pretty focused on you/observant, so they'd eventually pick up on it first probably

..

...

....which allsssooo means they're like, collecting all ur neurodivergent thingys lol to compile as EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU AS TO WHY THEY KNOW UR THE CREATOR LMAO

◇

Honestly the biggest factor against u is definitely social interaction,, srry love :/

(if it helps, its bc i know itd be my downfall too thats why thats there ^ 😔)

Mostly bc i have this idea/theory? obervation? that when I especially met Adepti for the first time

Esp ones that werent as close to human society for as long as some others (like think Xiao vs. Ganyu)

And for literally every other non-human people we've met so far in Genshin-

They kinda- they kinda, radiate neurodivergent energy??

Like, they're not adherring to social norms, and not in like a bad way,

But its still rlly obvious (i mean also its probably exaggerated for us as an audience) that theyre not human pretty quickly

coughzhonglicough

COUGHVENTICOUGH-

oh geez wow excuse me, cold weather must be gettin to me- ahem hem-

Anyway, like what Nexy said in the ask,

...

...Yall are all just tiptoing around each other 😭😭

Bc these ppl arent from Earth countries,

All their behavior is weird to you 😭

U dont know how to mask with them yet 😭😭

THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MISCOMMUNICATION THAT HAPPENS ALREADY WHEN UR NEUROSPICY VS. NEUROBLAND PPL

IS LIKE, ALMOST WORSE??

Bc they cant even understand ur phrasing bc its so simple 😭😭😭

◇

Tldr: "Being Neurodivergent means ur a god, confirmed." - says all of Teyvat's denizens

◇

NEXYLAZA.

MY BELOVED.

I AM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN.

IF I COULD GIVE IT A HUG I WOULD🫂✨️👏👏👏👏

BC I WAS ALREADY LIKE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND LIKE-

*rubs my little rat gremlin hands together*

"hmHmHMMMM BuT wHaT iF mAYbE yOU reMeMbeREd cReATinG TeyVAT, hmHMHMMMMM"

AND FOR VERBALIZING IT WITHIN BLUNT LANGUAGE AU- !!!!!!!

(one of my favs, if u cant tell)

I would (platonically) kiss you right now dude.

Instead I give this:

♡ ily

And also, I AM GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS-

MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC, OR ONE SHOT AHDHAKFHSKLAAL-

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME <333

PSPSPSPSsppspspspssss Last Time! CLOSES TOMORROW @1pm CST: VOTE on my 100+ followers celebration POLL :)

Tell me what u wanna see me write about! PSPSPSPSpspspspssss

(U can vote even if ur new! :] )

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS ASK

THIS IS A TREASURE OF MINE NOW

GONNA HIDE IT IN MY LITTLE CAVE OF SCREENSHOTTED SAGAU POSTS <333 hehehehehehehehehehe

THIS IS LIKE PT2 TO MY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE POST AHHHHH

NEXY BIG BRAIN ILYSM <3

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza lol ur own ask im a menace sorry

[huellitaa]

bee's record player: march edition. 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !! notice !! ♡

surpriseee <3 wanted to try and add a little of my personal influence to my girlblog since music is literally my entire life & thought it might be funny to show u all what makes up the chaotic glittery mess that is my brain (and because there are almost 1000 of you beautiful people following me whatt?? thank you😭). i've allllways wanted to do smth like this too so, here u go !! 🩷💗

(+ this is a way for me to rant about my interests without being annoying to my friends / moots 😭. to anybody who has listened to me rant or cry or scream or whatever over music ily guys mwa)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

goddess, laufey

♡ released march 6th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 28 seconds

eternal sunshine, ariana grande

♡ released march 8th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: supernatural, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), intro (end of the world)

♡ running time: 35 minutes 33 seconds

unheard, hozier

♡ released march 22nd, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: too sweet (i adore this song.)

♡ running time: 13 minutes 59 seconds

super real me, illit

♡ released march 25th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP, debut! ♡

♡ best songs: magnetic, midnight fiction

♡ running time: 9 minutes 36 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. my world, illit

girly girl song!! i've been obsessed with illit's whole super real me album, their debut is soo good oh my gosh. its criminally short but i seem to have listened to it a lot !! 😭

♡ 9. we can't be friends (wait for your love), ariana grande

i have SO MUCH to say about this song but it resonates with me so much in so many different ways and i just. oh my god. ariana i love u so much

♡ 8. we got so much, le sserafim

k so i initially didn't really like this song but... it's grown on me. a lot. since it first came out. um. it's pretty simple honestly and it's just really girly girl it makes me feel like a school girl i love it

♡ 7. this is what makes us girls, lana del rey

girlblogger anthem!! okay confession i did not get into this song until LAST MONTH. i know. it's terrible and i am ashamed i am so sorry. but i have formed such a strong emotional attachment to this song its crazy i adore it

♡ 6. imperfect for you, ariana grande

exposing myself pt.3 i was in a really big depressive slump for like one half or more of this month actually and this song helped me so much i can't 😭 i love you ari

♡ 5. the boy is mine, ariana grande

(are you noticing a pattern here yet) um another ariana grande song no lol um idk what ur talking about haha 🥰 this song is so twerkable im sorry i wasnt a fan at first but im obsessed i need to stop

♡ 4. smart, le sserafim

no words. once again wasn't a huge fan originally but oh my god im obsessed w it now. afrobeat type of songs are, will, and always be top tier and i will die on this hill. (i've been SO OBSESSED with le sserafim lately but i think thats fairly obvious here😭)

♡ 3. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

i adore this song oh my god. its become one of my favs of all time since it came out. this was on loop for HOURS when i first heard it and its such a comfort song for me. it shows her growth so beautifully and there's so much about it i just absolutely adore like i could write a whole essay on this song and still wouldnt be able to express how much i love it

♡ 2. magnetic, illit

illit was bound to pop up here again this month tbh ok so me and my bsf were listening to this on loop the entire time at school a little after it came out like we were sitting in the front row of our class and were still watching the magnetic mv under the desk on her phone. so in love with this song it makes me so happy n feel so cute i ahh <3

♡ 1. supernatural, ariana grande

SUPERNATURAL IS THE SONG EVER. first day it came out i listened to the album and this was on loop constantly for the next week or more. it's made it up to my top 10 fav songs of all time ever and i listen to A LOT of music. this song is my life<333

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS

♡ 1. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

fairly self explanatory. i love u ari. there was soo much ari this month bc ive been a diehard ari stan since i was 8 and have never looked back. since yes and released in january i have been ecstatic about ag7 releasing in march after 4 YEARS of no ari so this was MONUMENTAL for me 😭😭 THE DROUGHT IS OVER ARIANATORS RISE 🩷🩷🩷

♡ 2. super real me, illit

so basically the day this album came out my best friend was spamming me about them and i only listened to them like 2 days after cuz she was annoying me about it and OH MY GOD. i listened to them and then proceeded to loop the whole album for the next 72 hours 💗 and for a debut as well is amazing ily illit girlies

♡ 3. with you-th, twice

so i wasn't much of a fan at first bc they just sounded really similar and bland to me but its grown on me a lot since it came out and i've been listening to it so much throughout the entirety of march. its just so oddly comforting in a way and feels like a hug in music form (+ rush and bloom are the best songs argue with the wall)

♡ 4. easy, le sserafim

self explanatory. i'm obsessed with le sserafim at the moment and this album is everything to me. ass shaking album 10/10

♡ 5. k-12, melanie martinez

i have been revisiting one of my fav albums of all time this month and its as amazing as always. this has been my favourite album of all time since it came out and i will never ever get over k12 🩷 10000/10!!!! <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER

♡ TWICE

♡ LANA DEL REY

♡ LE SSERAFIM

♡ ARIANA GRANDE

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ happy 1 year to portals by melanie martinez! oh my god this album helped me through all of 2023 and i went to see her on tour in london for my birthday last november and it was surreal. she's amazing. i adore her and this album (i have it on vinyl hehe) and love it SOO MUCH 💖

♡ expect ordinary things by ariana grande to be high high on my top 10 next month its been on loop for days now im obsessed

♡ there's going to be a LOT in next month's issue seeing as 2 of my all time favs are coming back next month, so prepare for that! so excited ahh <3 (one has already released at the time of writing this. prepare urselves.)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

this was SO FUN oh my gosh. i am 100% making this a regular thing~ lmk if it was entertaining, improvements needed, artists / albums you'd like me to keep up with etc, or just general comments, ideas, reviews and so on. thank you so much for reading, this was so fun! look forward to next month 💗🫶💖

lots of love 💘

[batw1nggg]

this is just me being silly but im making a script for an essay video analyzing all of nagito's songs because i realized a lot of people dont even know about all of them especially poison i have absolute hope birthday and remaining cherry blossoms practically finished but i have no idea where to start with what poison is about lmao

if u do end up recording the essay PLZZZ LINK !!! i would love to see !!!!

ok so i’ll only be able to give a very surface level analyzation because i don’t know japanese and translations between eng and jp are always sort of janky, i might get some things wrong or miss some nuances (if anyone knows some japanese and wants to chime in please please do!!). but i can definitely give u the basic gist of it. translation taken from the danganronpa fandom wiki page. ok here we go

so the song takes place when komaeda kills himself (“I believe that hope / And will offer my pulsating heart / For the sake of that brilliance / I’ll tear apart my chest / Until the very last drop / Trickles down and wets my lips”, “I am merely watching over you”).

To me it seems like a summary of his thought process — he mentions wanting to “meet the biggest hope” (the hope that will overcome the despair of and end the killing game), how he has “no need for worthless things / anything ordinary and boring” (his thoughts on talentless people). those parts of the song are just outlining the basics of his worldview.

but, because this song is about komaeda’s death, it’s also inextricably tied to hinata. we see this most explicitly with the line “I love, and want to understand / him more than anyone else”. a main theme of komahina is their desire to understand each other.

That’s the really obvious hinata reference, but he also seems to be referenced more subtly throughout:

- “I have no need for worthless things / anything ordinary and boring / What meaning is there to words that will neither be deadly poison nor cure?” this is komaeda talking about how he thinks talentless people are boring, they’re neither shining hope (like the ultimates) nor crushing despair (like junko) and are just pawns in the game; but also, who exactly was it that chose to be neither deadly poison (despair) or cure (hope)? to create an ending separate of hope and despair altogether, to create a new choice, to focus on the future? komaeda’s asking what meaning there is to anything that is neither pure hope nor pure despair — anything that is not necessary to the cycle of hope and despair. hinata will go on to give him the answer.

- “When drinking poison poured into a glass will you drink it immediately or throw it away?” this one seems vague but I’m inclined to believe it’s about hinata because it’s followed by “I am merely watching over you / to whom the last choice is given”. the “whom” is very obviously hinata, he’s the one that makes the choice to wake up and then inspires everyone else to choose the same. that former lyric about the poison seems to be a fancy way of komaeda asking whether or not hinata will give into the despair of finding out the truth (drinking the poison) or decide to keep going despite it (throwing it away). he’s watching over hinata in death, entrusting hinata with that decision.

hinata being a core part of this song really speaks to how much trust komaeda was putting into hinata in chapters 5 and 6. i’ve already made a post or two about how komaeda’s faith in hinata to solve trial 5 and survive trial 6 was an integral factor in the game’s ending. komaeda can’t talk about his death without hinata being part of the conversation; hinata is the only one who’s ever tried to understand him instead of completely writing him off as insane, he’s a big part of komaeda’s life. we see at the end of the komaeda pov manga that hinata was komaedas last thought before death.

so yeah. to summarize: the song is about chapter 5. komaeda talks about his worldview, talks about how his worldview and faith in hope led to his sacrifice, and talks about his faith in hinata.

[tokyoyumeeee]

girlfriend exe!

featuring: ganyu, ayaka, lisa, ei, yae miko

tags: fluff, Valentine’s Day headcanons, unedited(im writing this at 1am lol)

GANYU

-ganyu would prefer if you two could spend Valentine’s Day away from liyue harbor, but if you prefer staying at the harbor she’ll oblige anything 4 u <3

-ganyu finds the time to make you chocolate from scratch(handmade chocolate) sjjidjdnwjsu

-she’ll write you a whole 10 page essay about how grateful she is to be your gf and how much she loves you and pass it off as a “small letter of appreciation”

-if you’re big about valentines day she’ll make the big sacrifice of calling a day off to spend the entire day with you(she just wants you to be happy :( )

-if not, she’ll meet you somewhere for lunch, continue on her day and spend a bit more time with you at night<333

-she’s actually pretty adamant on spending time w/ you during valentines day cause she normally doesn’t have much time for you and she wants to show that she still loves you

AYAKA

-Ayaka would love to spend Valentine’s Day with you alone somewhere private because she wants it to be intimate and just between the two of you yk?

-if you don’t want to spend it somewhere private and would prefer to spend it out in public, like inazuma city, she’s not opposed

-she’s actually a big valentines person, but understands if you’re not

-will write you a letter to express her love for you

-she’d normally be too shy to deliver the letter to you in person but she made an exception for Valentine’s Day

-if you want to spend valentines day with her in private, you might just spend the entire day in bed cuddling

-if you wanna spend it in public you’d go shopping, have dinner somewhere nice, then cuddle once you return home at night

LISA

-oh boy, lisa during Valentine’s Day? ill just list some of the sfw stuff ive thought for her 😟

-will make the tiring trip outside the library to the souvenir shop to buy you something

-writes you a poem and a letter

-orders a sumeru rose for you so you’ll have something to remember her with

-no doubt you’ll invite her on a date all around mondstadt

-pls buy her something, she might pass it off like she doesn’t care but it means a lot to her if you show her that you care enough to get her a gift :(

-if you wanna be lazy you can just stay in bed all day with her and cuddle

-she’s not opposed to either ideas

EI

-this is complicated

-if you wanna spend valentines day with the shogun, it’s difficult to convince her

-she thinks that celebrating holidays is a trivial thing and a waste of time but if ei forces her she’ll just spend some one on one time with you

-spending valentines with ei is a whole different story

-she’ll leave the plane of euthimiya and go on a date with you around Inazuma city, but you guys can go further than that

-if you want you can take a stroll through chinju forest, or hike up to the highest point in serari island

-she knows you’ll get tired before her so once you start wearing out she’ll piggyback you back to tenshukaku

-if you’re not big abt valentines day or just wanna spend it in private you guys can just goof off in tenshukaku or have heartfelt convos, your choice

YAE MIKO

-yae miko will just suddenly reveal that she had been writing a novel about you getting married to her and planned to publish it on valentines day 💀

-her teasing and flirting just amplified

-you’ll find her all over you

-knows that you want to spend valentines with her whether you like the holiday or not, but does everything to get you to admit it

-she’ll spoil you no shit but every time you ask her for something you have to do something for her in return

-she’ll ask for things like “give me a kiss”, “hug me”, even “let me pet gorou’s tail” god knows what’s going on in her brain 💀

-she can be sincere though and will express it to you by giving you a sincere “I love you” and a kiss before you fall asleep

genshin boy ver.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

UEUEUEUEUEUEU ILL SEND YOU THIS WHILE WAITING TO SEE BOBBYS STATUS.

Dw idm u answering publicly, I want everyone to be cursed w the thought that Rubius is a babygirl and a very bad one at that <3

Honestly I've only read a few explanations of their lore and bits about their relationship but they seem sooooo,,, /pos. Like they have such a fun and silly dynamic that has this air of toxicity and their loves feels quite self destructive bc rubius is kind of a destructive force of nature of a person who has a tendency to hurt those around him, perhaps as a defense mechanism or perhaps out of simply not understanding there are consequences to the things he does while vegetta is someone far too forgiving, he continues to love rubius despite how much he hurts himself, others, and vegetta himself. I'm not saying cubito rubius is an awful person but from what I've seen he is,,, complex. Difficult despite seeming silly. I could be just completely wrong tho LOL I am doin my best I prommy

ANYWAYS IM CHEERING U ON IN WRITING!!! I'd love to talk to u abt them more and learn more abt rubegetta bc like. Look. Theres no way q!vegetta isnt hung up on that demon idc,,,

I'm likewise waiting for the Eggstatistics (which will probably get posted while I'm in the middle of writing this) (EDIT: IT DID) and you gave me the opportunity to infodump so prepare for an essay LMAO

There are SO many layers to Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship (both romantic and friendship-wise), and that complexity makes them fascinating characters to study. I’ve been discussing this a lot in private lately, but I feel like there’s quite a bit of misinformation / misinterpretations of Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship amongst some of the newer fans who might not know some key components of their personality and their relationship dynamic as a whole (which is understandable since the majority of their lore came from Karmaland, and a lot of newer fans only speak English / only watch QSMP), so ALLOW ME TO ELABORATE:

I think of the two, Rubius definitely gets mischaracterized the most (which, again, maybe isn't too surprising since not everyone watched Karmaland and he hasn't been on the QSMP server too much lately). I could go off on a tangent here and list my frustrations about the people who harassed him for his role / his actions during the Egg event / whining about ships to the point where he decided not to log into the server again ‘til the Egg event is over, but that's ultimately irrelevant to this discussion.

“Their love feels quite self-destructive” is a really good way to sum things up, because Rubius is a pretty self-destructive man. Rubius is, fundamentally, a man who is full of love for the people he cares about, but those feelings are in direct conflict with his reluctance to let people get close to him (and his commitment issues). He can freely give hugs and kisses (and more) to Vegetta, but when it comes to expressing his true thoughts and feelings, he’s pretty emotionally constipated. We’ve already seen this a few times on the QSMP server – when Rubius visits on Vegetta’s birthday, he sings him the most beautiful heartfelt love song ever, but as soon as it’s over and Vegetta tries to talk to him, Rubius runs away. Even in Karmaland V, when hooked up to a lie detector and asked about his feelings for Vegetta, Rubius tried to wiggle his way out of answering. Only when the world was literally ending and they all thought they were gonna die did Rubius finally admit his feelings, shouting his confession and his love for Vegetta at the top of his lungs.

(The real tragedy here is that it was so chaotic with everyone shouting, Vegetta never heard his words…)

Although it’s easy to slap the label “toxic” on Rubius, I think that’s unfair to him and his character, as well as his intentions. He truly does love Vegetta with all his heart, in every universe, and he doesn’t want to hurt him, but Rubius doesn’t want to get hurt either. The Meteor shower conversation gives us a clear understanding of that:

Rubius: I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to get my hopes up, and then get hurt. It's happened to me many times before. Especially here in Karmaland. Vegetta: Have you had lovesickness? Rubius: Yes. In Karmaland, everywhere, in real life... I'm already used to getting beaten. Vegetta: That's a pity... Rubius: I just want someone to take care of me, and that's it. I don't ask for much. Vegetta: I'm very protective.

The way I see it, Rubius is afraid of his feelings for Vegetta, because the larger his love grows, the larger that potential for hurt and disappointment gets. Does this excuse all his actions? No, of course not, however there’s a big difference between doing something out of self-preservation (possibly as a trauma-response, depending on how you interpret his character) and doing something with the intent to hurt someone.

IMO, Rubius isn’t a toxic guy, he just needs therapy.

Vegetta doesn’t get mischaracterized quite as often, though I do feel like people have a tendency to put him on a pedestal and minimize the flaws he has. I’m a massive Vegetta fan, but this guy’s far from perfect. He’s self-centered, borderline narcissistic sometimes, and he’s a very prideful man. He’s never left Rubius at the altar, but he’s still had his fair share of “oopsies” and "yikes" in their relationship. One (which I’m surprised people don’t talk about more) is an incident from Karmaland IV where Vegetta, very unhinged and mentally unstable at the time, kidnapped Rubius’ wife Nieves and threatened her with a sword, saying, “If Rubius can’t be mine, he can’t be anyone’s.”

For the longest time I genuinely thought that line came from a fanfic or something, then I stumbled upon the clip one day and I was just like:

Anyways

In Karmaland V, Rubius became very close with a little alien child named Titi. He took care of Titi like he was his own son, and despite his attempts at emotionally distancing himself early on so he wouldn’t get attached, Rubius wound up caring a lot for him.

Then Titi died.

It was basically Rubius’ worst nightmare come to life – he’d let himself get close to Titi, he’d loved him unconditionally and let Titi into his heart, and Titi’s death utterly destroyed him. Everyone in Karmaland was affected by the death, but Rubius took it especially hard because of how close they were. Rubius was hurting badly and resorting to terrible coping strategies to deal with the pain, and Vegetta…

Well. Vegetta wasn’t very nice about it.

There are a lot of ways we could interpret Vegetta’s actions and words during this time – maybe he’s not super sensitive when talking about death since he’s probably some kind of demigod, maybe he speedran the grieving process, maybe he thought brutal honesty and direct action would help Rubius “snap out of it” sooner. However you see it, ultimately it did a lot more harm than good for Rubius’ overall mental health.

I bring these examples up not to paint their relationship as toxic or negative, but rather to express just how complex it is. Because, despite all their mistakes and drama and heartbreak, at the end of the day, Rubius and Vegetta still love each other more than anything else. Even towards the end of Karmaland V when they were quite literally on opposite sides of the battlefield (one supporting Quackity, the other supporting Luzu), their true loyalties lay with one another. When Rubius was hit by an enemy, Vegetta defended him with his life, and when Vegetta was hurt, Rubius did the same.

Yes, Rubius doesn't really know how to handle healthy relationships, and yes, Vegetta tends to forgive him too easily, but that doesn't erase the love they have. The key we need to remember here is that Rubegetta is a telenovela that sits squarely in the romcom category. They may wander into other genres and tropes from time to time, but they will always gravitate back to one another. Whether you define that as fate or soulmates or just sheer dumb luck, the facts remain and the love is there.

PHEW anyways that felt good to get out, I have so many thoughts on Rubegetta so I appreciate the excuse to rant. I'm always happy to chat about these two! :D And you're so right - Vegetta is so smitten for that demon, I hope he gets to meet the angel too. I hope Rubius comes back soon so Vegetta can see his Osito Fiu Fiu, but in the meantime, we'll have to keep wishing and praying just like Vegetta...

(ALSO THANK YOU the current chapter of that dang Rubegetta fic is kicking my butt rn because it's the only chapter I didn't outline and life events keep interrupting me when I try and work on it, but it IS getting chipped away at bit by bit! I hope folks enjoy the outcome when it's released :D)

[intertexts]

OK OK SINCE U ARE PRETTY FAR INTO PD NOW. I NEED TO ASK. DO U HAVE A FAVORITE CHARACTER. do u have a favorite moment. whos backstory are u the most interested in seeing. what are u excited to learn about the world . I AM PUTTING UR BRAIN UNDER A MICROSCOPE AND DISSECTING IT IVE GOTTA KNOW. what villains are u most afraid of. write me an essay on ur feelings about mark winters. etc etc etc etc WHATEVER U WANNA TALK ABT RN im standing in the middle of a field like a scarecrow and just SCREAMING at the sky

OHHHHHH MAN DUDE LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE A FAVORITE OF ANYONE. FUCKK. GOD.

ok putting all of this under a cut because its so fucking long???

ok ok ok. lets see. they r all so so so good it's impossible 2 choose but also iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii really fucking like dakota dude..... i like him so much. so much. i will admit. i am a massive fucking fan of a character who stays silly. massive fucking fan of the emotional king dedede hammer that comes down when the silly guy drops the silliness. i love it when characters literally r incapable of processing their emotions. gebuinely i don't know what he put in that guy but it is cartoonish the way my neurons light up at him its not quite akechi from p5 levels of FUCKKK YEAH THIS GUY MY FUCKED UP LITTLE GUY!! but it is Getting Close!!!

whose backstory.... fuck. okay. Most interested in wiwi's backstory. of course. i AM really interested in vyncent's whole deal but i feel like his fucked up knife that possesses him (?????????) is slightly more of a specific thing than backstory. and i DO wanna know howww the jrpg protag isekai'd here but also like. consider... wiwi. also i wanna know if im right & ashe/ashes fucked up demon grimoire r responsible for his mom's death. ALSO I WANNA KNOW WHY MARK'S A LIZARD GUY.

FAVORITE MOMENTS SO FAR.... i LOVED the spirit world shit it was all so cinematic it was so lovely. usually im dogshit at like, visualizing descriptions in my head? but all of that was very much oh, yeah for sure, ive seen this cartoon! i know whats happening! that whole episode went hard as fuck. can't believe we got vyncent with a gun ashe going holy shit why am i fucking doing this imgonnadie william having a horrifying crisis over eating a fucking soul & dakota getting murked in one episode. & mal is just. on just. such a different level such a different world from Anything else they've experienced. its so good.

also i still really love the winding-down end of that amalgam island ep (5?) where they r exhausted & coming off so many huge emotions & stress & stuff & tide arrives.... that's really the scene that fucking hooked me i think. going ohhh yeah theyre just fucking kids and everyone at this table Knows theyre kids in a world where people will just fucking kill you. like,, yeah, it WOULD be fucked up if you were seventeen and ran into an island full of horrifying human and animal experimentation & abuse!! and theyre not playing it as a motw adventure where its just sillygoofy? ok. ok!! maybe these guys know where theyre taking it. like i can count on one hand maybe the amount of times ive been like "yeah im sure whatever the creators do will be good they've always done good & thoughtful work. i don't have to continually be delegating brain space to how im dissatisfied with this story." so i guess. i just like the show a lot!!

what am i most interested in about the world... ohhh man i love cape worldbuilding it's maybe like one of my favorite things. so i guess i'm interested in All of It?? in an overall probably-wont-be-answered-because-its-not-that-genre way i'd love 2 know what religion looks like in a world where JESUS IS A TRADEMARKED SUPERHERO & kids can come back from the dead. id love 2 know more ab the dynamic btwn politics & the cape world here thats always interesting? i really enjoy the approach they took 2 the kid heroes in the beginning, as in: these guys are literally still students they are not Supposed to be doing big hero shit. theyre not supposed to be doing teen titans or x-men shit & it is in fact a massive massive fuckup on their guardian's part when they Are in those positions. i'm a big fan of that i like it a lot more than the alternative. (unless yr like in a world like parahumans where there Is a narrative & in-universe reason why child & teen cape teams exist)

what villains am i most afraid of....... ok i kind of feel like being afraid of mal is like, being afraid of hurricanes or something. like sure i can be nervous about him but i can't fucking do anything if he's coming this way. so it's better i think to not think about it until it comes up & then pray. so i guess i AM really concerned about the overlord stuff. i dont know where it's gonna go but i know it'll be nowhere good & i know it'll end up getting people hurt. so.!!!!!!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hi mac!!!! mentally i am sitting with u on the couch watchin youtube videos w u. i hope ur day was good :3 i had work 2day. did not stop me writing ghostknife!!! i wrote 2k more words in my tumblr drafts over my seven hour shift. im at 8.5k words total now. get my ass out the kitchen im cookin too hard!!!!! THAT ASIDE mac can u gimme some nhw thoughts. i wanna hear about nhw mark winters. tell me abt ur favourite gay depressed blond man!!!!!!!! i wanna hear abt him and what the winters family torment nexus is like in nhw!!!!!! holding out a microphone 2 u the floor is yours 🎤

OKAY . HI. I LOVE TORTURING THAT BLONDE MAN. im going to direct you to the mark winters essay just in case you havent read that one yet because its got context for a lot of what im gonna talk about hehe (beware for worm spoilers, ill make this answer easy 2 understand without context i promise) under the cut bc i tend to ramble about him. oops

god . okay. basis of the entire nhw mark winters character is that he is the most unlucky man in the entire world. like. literally. hes been targeted that way. universe's favorite punching bag. i could make a joke here about being god and such but ill save that for my dnd campaign.

literally. so much bad shit happens to him. and then keeps happening to him. and keeps happening. and he has to be so fucking. emotionally repressed and logical and analytic and focused or else he will go crazy. mark is one of those capes that got powers artificially (overlord forced them on him- parallel to forced experimentation in canon) but the dramatic irony of it all is that even if mark would have gotten his powers naturally through a trigger event... with the way worm powers work he probably wouldve ended up with the same powers anyway. man is a striker/tinker, which comes from "facing an immediate, in-your-face threat, usually a singular object or individual" (indirect danger from simurgh, immediate danger from ashe in his very unstable breaker form immediately after killing his mom) and "solutionless problems over long periods of time, culminating in a crisis moment" (faking his and ashe's deaths in order to escape the quarantine process of simurgh survivors, having to be on the run from any sort of scrutiny for nearly TEN YEARS, eventually resulting in being offered a job working for overlord (a notoriously cruel crime lord)) . i have a lot of feelings about that. mark goes through all of this and never has a trigger event, he gets through it all with his humanity mostly intact. and then he ends up getting powers anyway because hes forced into a corner by a fucking alligator man.

ANYWAYYYYY. the fic im writing rn is from tide's pov and its immediatly after overlords death, where tide finds mark (and a bunch of other people) unconscious in tubes after going through biological experimentation and getting. animal features. this is how mark gets the lizard stuff in this au. anyway since the fic is from tide's pov i want to take a second to talk about what it would be like from marks pov. mark disobeyed one of overlords orders because it would have meant fighting the wards (who ashe . recently joined as part of the team) . overlord does not take this well and punishes him by using him for unethical human experiments. so between that moment and overlords death, mark had been subjected to over a week of near-constant testing and surgery and he was probably awake for a lot of it and. thatll fuck a guy up!!!!! pretty fucking severely!!!!! but in the grand scheme of things a week isnt that much time. which is why his transformation is only minimal and he can still pretty much pass as human with some disguising (some of the other subjects were. not so lucky).

mark was unconscious for the entire overlord fight, so he has no idea what happens. because he was unmasked, the heroes dont recognize him as a villain so instead of going to jail he gets taken to a hospital with all of the other subjects and is basically just treated as a civilian victim. but because nobody knows who he is or his relation to ashe/auxiliary.... nobody. tells him about what happened to overlord. the wards arent as closely involved with mark in this au (and honestly they dont really like him enough to care, they really just know him as "ashe's shitty dad" and thats about it). um. well. the only person who knows his identity and knows his relation is. tide.

working for a supervillain and constantly surviving out of the public's eye for fear that someone might discover your past doesnt leave a lot of room for friends, and his only living family is currently being turned into a puppet by another supervillain (not that he knows this yet) so the only person who really visits him is tide. theyre not friends, theyre not anything to each other, really, but . they KNOW each other. they UNDERSTAND each other in a way that. nobody else in the world would. go read roswells nhw tidalwave post its everything to me . anyway im getting distracted. like i said, over a week of constant unethical experiments and body horror will fuck a guy up. three of his base biological senses/instincts have been SEVERELY messed with (eyesight is fundamentally changed by the heat sense, he cant really thermoregulate well anymore, his balance is completely thrown off by the Addition Of A New Limb) and so that makes it. really hard for him to recover into some sense of lucidity. the next handful of days after he ends up in the hospital are a complete blur of consciousness, any time he opens his eyes hes totally disoriented, hes getting these awful migraines from the strain, he cant control his body heat and it seems like hes always too cold, the scales are fucking itchy, etc etc etc. hes bedridden most of the time because he cant even stand up on his own without support bc he has to get used to the weight of a tail. for those days where he's basically stuck in bed, stuck in his room, etc. he is. bored out of his mind, hes angry, hes scared (ohhh god hes in a hospital did someone do a background check do they know who he is. he hasnt been to a real doctor in over ten years), he doesnt know how much time has passed.

tide happens to visit the first day mark is feeling lucid enough to ask about ashe. this is like. a week or so into his recovery. he overheard one of the staff talking about the date and it made him like. snap awake because he realized hes been away from home and had no way to contact ashe in like. half a month. he cant ask any of the hospital staff about what happened to his son because thats a surefire way of getting a billion questions about his identity. so when tide shows up its immediately like "where is he is someone taking care of him i hate you heroes and everything you stand for but i know hes part of that team now please tell me theyre keeping him safe" and. tide is really really good at keeping a straight face but he just has this Look in his eyes and mark Knows in that moment that every single one of his nighmares is coming true. he tries to leave, tide has to catch him because he still cant walk and hes behaving like a fucking wild animal, hes biting and clawing and just in this rage because why didnt anyone tell me sooner i couldve done something i couldve protected him ("mark, you were basically in a coma" "i dont care") . nobody knows what actually happened to ashe yet. he killed overlord and then just. went missing. nobody saw him leave. they have no lead whatsoever on where he could be (yet) and it drives mark CRAZY dude like. all mark winters knows is grief and rage. eventually the wards are given that hint about where to find him and see him with the trickster and now THEY know, but. again, they dont.. know mark as well. they dont have any reason to go tell him right away. i havent decided yet whether it would be more painful for tide to break this news to him too or if the first time mark sees his son again is . on tv unmasked using his powers in some gaudy outfit he knows ashe would never choose to wear with his hair pulled back out of his face in some intricate braid and. why are his eyes orange . what the fuck happened to him. his wholeeeeee. entire world entire existence just comes crashing down around him .

mark winters universe's most hated man

[jkpng]

could u pls explain what drew you to koobi. like they are lowkey underrated and i adore them and i wanna hear you yap about them

omg ur about to regret asking. i love koobi so much wtf i have a bunch of word vomit bc im very bad at articulating my thoughts

okok first of all jungkook and hobi are both biases individually so whenever they’re in the same frame all my neurons set on fire. anyways ik jungkook has the golden maknae title (deserved) but i feel like its not widely recognized As Much the way hobi is also a golden ace like they’re both sooooo good at everything. and thats jungkooks Thing™️ but like. hoseok is SO fucking good at dancing and so good at rapping and so good at songwriting/producing and ALSO so good at singing and he (also jin) is such a morale booster and icebreaker and i feel like he warms up every room hes in. but also he takes his craft so seriously and his dance teacher side is so intense and respectable. and like ofc they’re all insanely talented and passionate but i feel like jungkook and hobi are kinda two sides of the same coin and idk im ENDEARED………and also their solo music i just . love nearly everything they put out like theyre batting 99.9% for me. (and their harmonizing drives me crazy) also i feel like i have weirdly a lot in common with jungkook and i wanna be him soooo bad while hobi is everything i am not but adore in other people 😭

+ tiktoks im submitting to the court as evidence (bc i cant add more than 1 vid to a post 🤬) cried. making the little one laugh. CRIED. CRIEDDDDD

BUT ANYWAYS the koobi of it all…………..i feel like out of all the dynamics in bts i understand why they’re underrated cuz like. for example namgi or vmin u could write fucking essays abt those pairs and the depth of their relationships. but for koobi i feel like its a lot quieter like idk if theres as much to Say abt their relationship but their closeness shows if ur paying attention yk. idk theres just this softness and warmth between them that rlly gets to me like everyone babies jk but i feel like hobi babies him in a really particular way where im like. wtf thats HIS BABY. but also his baby is gonna kill all the bugs for him. like idk the sheer number of clips where jungkook is hanging off hobi and cuddling him (and sniffing him 😭) is so touching to meeeee………like it just. gives the impression that hobi is such a safe space for him and it makes me wanna cry and throw up. and also how hobi said the maknae line follows him around. like little ducklings. like what the fuck they love and admire him so much and i love seeing hobi be adored like he DESERVESSSS

also 1) in bv4 when hobi is filming jungkook on the swing. 2) in soop1 when jungkook is playing lost stars on the guitar for hobi. 3) jungkook crying when hobi was going to leave. 4) jungkook scheduling around being able to send hobi off. cries so hard i start gagging like wtf. idk i just feel like theres so much love and admiration between them. and obv i dont Actually know but their dynamic just seems uncomplicated and safe like every time theyre around each other it just radiates WARMTH u know. idk. walking into the pacific ocean rn

anyways koobi compilation

[thewingedwolf]

wait i’m gonna be so annoying and have a final thoughts here

the aesthetic & main romance has just really fallen off. they are incapable of sticking the landing in the third act & while they still have some good looks, i think there’s a certain level of playing it too safe (see Kate’s wardrobe!!!!!) and also just, bizarre makeup choices that were a bit distracting.

they also just don’t know how to keep a character waiting for their romance while building that character up over several arcs. kind of a bad trait to have for a tv show?? 😭😭 like, i love them with all my heart, but everyone has said that eloise, benedict, & colin have felt so confused at points as characters, like the writers didn’t know where to go with them. they’re just waiting for their romance instead of like, growing.

Colin was the male lead what do we even know about him beyond his inability to interact with a woman without projecting onto her.

once again the milfs outsold, agatha and violet are the best thing about this series and i don’t care how much i like violet’s lil thing with agatha’s brother, i want those two gossipy old milfs to kiss sloppy style.

it’s too goddamn short, i think this wasn’t a problem in s1 or qc bc it’s the First season so there’s not as many characters to follow but they keep introducing all these other characters that take space away from a) The Main Couple and b) The Bridgertons As A Family, and those are the draws of the series!! it’s too much for only 8 episodes, what happened to 12-18 episodes for high budget or cable shows, if they had these people on like Normal tv contracts they wouldn’t have such a hard time scheduling and have these long ass waits between seasons Either, im tired of this and i blame the duffer brothers and i want those two nerds hunted for sport.

also hyacinth and gregory are getting SO OLD OMG HURRY UP 😭😭😭

i think they did a better job this season with folding the siblings in together but it feels disjointed from s2. anthony & kate specifically feel very oddly thrown in there and idgi. i loved seeing the bridgertons using calling times as an excuse for Group Hangs, and i loved the way John pointed this out to Francesca. i liked that the ending with benedict where he’s realizing he’s the oldest still left at home with two like, toddler siblings and feeling unhappy with it, but bc they struggle with incorporating all the siblings together, we really lose that thread from last season between him & anthony that could have given benedict a way to explore his sexuality in a slutty way while also giving anthony something to do & not drop the art school thing. however, this is all detailed and would take a lot of time and they only have eight episodes. why. do 13-18 or im gonna start sending death threats to ceos. for legal reasons that’s a joke haha.

i do think in the few kathony scenes we got, they nailed the dynamic that she is the world’s most put upon eldest daughterson and he needs to be institutionalized. pls put jonathan bailey and simone ashley in another thing together so i can see them together again. this can’t be the end. be the next tom hanks and meg ryan please. he george clooney and julia roberts. i’m on my knees here.

am i allowed to say i’m glad we got a long devirginizing scene like in s1 & qc but also we did not see Nearly enough of those two fucking. more than kathony but imo still not on the level of the other two. also you could write an essay here about the sex politics of this show. i will refrain and say Is This Not The Pervert’s Show?? Can we Please get better pandering????

i think no one can handle a big cast like shonda not even her hand picked teams. qc handled having a host of characters so much better. early grey’s is really great at this. htgawm is good at this. u can tell what season she was really In That Writer’s Room. shonda pls get back in the writer’s room i need something as emotionally devastating as “meredith i’m so sorry” “you must be the woman whose screwing my husband” i need sexy like the “teach me” scene but with the freedom of streaming to get freaky with it, this cast WANTS to deliver but netflix & these writers are NOT up to the challenge!!!

i love bi benedict. even if nothing else comes of this i didn’t think they’d genuinely have benedict get intimate with and acknowledge being attracted to a man. genuinely really jazzed about that. but they Have said they want to explore his ~fluidity more and there’s so many scenarios that could be, i have no idea what the hell they mean by that askksjd. crossdressing sophie, genderbent to solomon, a trans sophie/solomon of some persuasion, im excited to see where they go!

BI FRANCESCA. MICHAELA STIRLING. PEOPLE ARE HATING BUT YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION. esp bc you could do a michaela that has like, resigned herself to a life of never feeling love only to fall in love At Her Cousin’s Wedding so well with this. these three, michaela francesca john, are gonna break my HEART i’m READY for it!

i want the resolution to one of the gay couples to include brimsley & reynolds encouraging charlotte to cure society of homophobia somehow. if we can do this with racism we can do it with homophobia. why the hell not.

listen to me. listen closely. are you listening. if we don’t get lesbian eloise what are we even fucking doing here. enough fucking around. give me a real sign this is all going somewhere. i am no longer asking.

[commanderquinn]

meta: sam coe - post-campaign analysis

allllrighty i am officially post-campaign so time for first thoughts. since im still collecting my feelings/opinions on the main quest i dont want to go super into that. i wanna wait and consolidate into a deep dive on that one. BUT i am a fic writer with a fixation on socioeconomics, intergenerational trauma, and more specifically the phenomenon of atheists clinging to their religious parents morals because they haven't taken the time to evaluate their biases and the reasons they still hold them

translation: the silver spoon space cowboy is an interesting concept. poory executed in the case of starfield, sadly, but great framework for fandom to chop the head off of and bring to their own individual comfort interpretations.

this meta will include spoilers for the following:

-sam's questline and the npcs involved

-his romance

-cora, the safety storyline around her, and how she's the best part of the space game

-why bethesda was fucking stupid to turn the cowboys into cops when they have the perfect opportunity for not that. i went in hoping for retired/reformed army rangers fed up with war looking to defend their home from fascism given the "han solo simulator" marketing, but all i got was this lousy ass rendition of the texas rangers, which i for SURE did not want

-i WONT be going into detail about the main plot for this post, just fyi. i wanna save that, and sam's relation to it, for its own essay. id still recommend not reading meta's until you finish the game tho

-i miss obsidian's writing. this game made me want to play outer worlds for the 100th time. that will probably come up a lot

this is probably gonna sound more than a bit scattered and off the fucking plot for the first section, but bare with me, im making a point eventually i promise. gotta make sure we're all on the same page first.

now that ive done a majority of his content, it's clear what the intent was for sam and i applaud it. i like it when good hearts in bad systems spot the fundamental flaws and decide to abandon it entirely, or work to change it. i hate perfect characters. i hate characters that have no growth to find. sam is a great character for showing the awesome power of a perspective change. but damn. what a waste when you're talking about a format where a writer is constricted to:

-an exact conversation trigger (bethesda games have always relied on interrupt & player approach, and i didnt notice any variation on game engine front but i wont know until they release the ck so)

-word limit on all responses (yes, you can make long dialogues in engine. but those words still have to be f u n d e d from a dev standpoint. words are not free in video games. capitalism sucks for art.)

-multiple conversation branches that ALL have to circle back to the original topic (they have to follow a set pattern of establishing a subject, then the players possible responses to that subject, the npcs responses to those responses, AND provide a seamless, one dialogue tie-in path to the next branch. it sounds super easy until you're the shmuck writing it, and then it doesnt feel so easy anymore)

-get approximately two personal quests with, what was it, 12 motion scripted scenes? (im watching other peoples pts now so ill try to remember to count, but it was. hmm. lack luster imo. im not saying quantity is vital. im a bioware fanatic, i know the power of quality when its actually delivered. i didnt have any moment like that for sams quests and it was kind of crushing. ill get into it.)

-appeal to a wide enough audience to obtain profit by holding back eXtReMe ViEwS (id like to point out that there is, at this exact moment in time, an active pr campaign (and a few scattered gaming content creators) surrounding starfield talking about how pronouns are politics and should be left out of gaming. over a setting flag in a save file. you literally dont even have to press a button about it. like, you pick your characters body. masc bodys are auto assigned m pronouns. fem bodies are auto assigned f pronouns. you literally dont even have to SEE the button, and it never gets brought up. the only purpose it serves is so the game knows what voice lines to fire. that. is. it.)

im not going to humor the "thats dumb, bethesda makes political games" contribution to the argument.

i get straight people think they're being super helpful and witty on that one, but i think the world would collectively benefit from allies taking just a few extra seconds before standing on that soapbox to maybe consider that calling existence "politics" might be, gee idk, insulting. maybe more than a lil dehumanizing. maybe super easily solved by just NOT giving into their parents obsession with playing devils advocate. i think if maybe allies could shut the fuck up for a minute or two at a time and go look for voices of authority within the communities they're defending instead of trying to talk over them, that'd probably work out better. might help cut out the completely useless middle man their parents taught them to be when they drilled home "you have to respect everyone's opinion"

no the fuck you do not, actually. i, as someone on this earth attempting to be a compassionate person, owe people a chance at understanding. i do not, under any circumstance, owe someone any kind of respect WHATSOEVER if they cannot respect me as a human being. full stop. i dont owe it to them, i dont owe it to their religion, i dont owe it to the government they try to establish. i do not owe respect to people attempting to oppress me. i never have and i never will.

but remember. there is context to be found in the passing of time. yes, you need to tell grandma to stop being racist. no, you do not need to banish grandma to the nursing home if there's still a chance that she's willing to sit and listen. a chance that she'll empathize with social perspectives that the racist society she was raised in never allowed her to have. breathe and give grandma the chance. then send her to the home if she's still racist.

(yes that was an analogy for how i imagine a perspective conversation with jacob would go. i do not have high hopes of that man finding self awareness given. well. who he is as a person.)

now. if you've played through sam's content, you already know why im bringing all of that up, but lets put together a list of all the things that Make Sam Coe Who He Is before we wrap it all up in a pretty bow that hopefully reads a lot less scattered than this "yo society got some trauma actually" lead up ive dumped on you

quick interrupt just for me: i love that im back on tumblr where i dont really have to give all that much of a fuck about making sense. any audience i could find here is equally unhinged so mostly i just have to format it in a way that makes your brain not hurt. sorry if you dont have adhd <3

1: lets talk about cora's hair.

im going to make the race observation because its bothering me from a dev standpoint AND the gamer crowd is already starting to make cuck memes which sucks to see.

i get that this doesnt matter in a colonialism scifi future where a service like enhance exists and we're talking about two rangers that apparently went under cover regularly, but it matters in the context of how sam was handled in a 2020 era commercial, creative environment. im just going to MENTION that cora coe's biological mother (that jab was me not liking her as a person, not me giving a shit that she's white) is paler than pale, and sam does NOT look like some of his earlier promo images. bethesda as a company also has a very long history of making characters arguably tan to avoid this shit.

9/16 edit: was asked for source, heres the exact image im referencing, which is still his set image on the starfield wiki to date:

(im going to preemptively warn any white artists building the urge to argue over this: you DO NOT want to die on a hill about lighting for this one, fucking trust me. thats not what this conversation is, and if you dont understand that as a White Artist, you need to sit this one out until you understand the full weight of the conversation and the profound effect of media treating skin color like a rare diversity accessory. bethesda has a very very long history of this. their last major story title, fallout 4, (76 was a money grab made in the other studio and i barely want to call it a game) had a whopping total of two black characters in its main cast, and both of them acted in subservient roles so please. please please please just. stop trying to defend bethesda on this one. its dehumanizing, cowardly, and malicious in this day and age. i promise im not trying to bite anyones head off here, im just Old And Tired when it comes to suburbanites in fandom.)

i think having solomon be canonically black would have been a really important aspect. i think it would have given the opportunity to show white people why its fucked up that they get SO EXCITED to save war mementos (or in the case of starfield a nasa memento) and will go on and on about how vital it is to save that piece of history, but when you bring up memorializing the importance of race as it pertains to human history and cultural history/pride, they suddenly start getting Very Uncomfortable and throw out phrases like "what does it matter we're all human" while standing next to the gun their grandfather smuggled home from the war

there is no brightness slider on pc and i havent gone reshade tweaking so everything is still washed out on my end (dont worry, as an rtx user, imma be makin a rant post on that) b u t. cora coe has a pale as fuck mother and a vaguely tan father with blue eyes and straight hair, meanwhile my precious angel has a darker complexion and curls that look like they're closing in on the 3c range so like. im getting vibes that sammy boy mighta been whitewashed during game dev, and thats about as far into THAT topic as im gonna bother to venture for this post.

2: his dad

were we supposed to have more daddy issues content??? istg it feels like there was the initial map talk and then nothing. im not saying that i cant pull blood from a stone and give you an entire essay on that glimpse of family trauma just from a few lines of dialogue, but still. feels like thats maybe something that should have gotten more detail.

"no forgiveness between me and my old man. it's uh... coe tradition."

oh boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy. what a line to start his personal quest

before we go ANY FURTHER im gonna drop a reference to one of my favorite aaron sorkin scenes of all time. its from the movie he did about the chicago seven, and i think it fits VERY well when having a conversation about how sam is shaped by his father

unfortunately the exact scene i want to show isnt clipped anywhere easy i could find, so here's an article that talks about that scene specifically if you want more context but dont want to watch the whole movie. what we're really focused on is this:

which is a scene where a fictional account of bobby seale, the leader of the black panther party at the time of the chicago 7 trial, said that above quote to a fictional account of tom hayden while they were having a conversation about how the stakes of this trial are life and death for him as a black man, but little more than a family dispute and a dark spot on their records for the (all white) chicago 7.

its a GREAT continuation of sorkin’s fascination around father son conflicts (he covered it a time or two during his writing days as west wings original creator, which is a great political show id strongly rec) and it really really works when used in comparison to those rebellion days sam had that he still flagellates over

sam was a privileged kid without a foundation of emotional support or a safe environment to vent to. he didnt have the words needed to communicate what he was feeling and thinking and experiencing. he didnt have the means to express himself in a way that wasn't immediately criticized by the people in his life. it doesnt take a degree in psych to figure out that sam first ran for the stars to run from his father. and it sounds like that was tradition

from the MOMENT YOU MEET HIM, jacob is full stop "my way or the highway" until you hit him with the good ol bethesda persuasion and his disposition pulls a 180 to hand you the next plot device

sam: "you know why im here."

jacob: "oh? and what's that? you come to your senses? realize where you ought to be for once?"

w o w

i wonder why sam never felt safe in his own home. i wonder why he doesnt feel safe leaving cora there. i wonder why that miserable fucking attitude and guilt has sam convinced that jacob will be the worst possible thing for his curious daughter's self esteem.

yes, grandparents sip a different kind of koolaid when it comes to their grandkids. no, that is not enough to protect that child from that much intergenerational trauma. sam's made a bad choice keeping cora in space, but he's made an EXCELLENT choice keeping her away from jacob.

forget "showing respect" to his son's choices, jacob won't give them the time of day. he brushes off constellation and wont go meet them for himself, he insists that cora being "in her family home" is the only priority (isnt THAT telling) and, as if that wasnt enough to prove he's incapable of empathy, the fact that he outright, direct fucking quote during that first scene with him, says to sam's face

"the only mistake im seeing here is you"

fuck anyone who walked away from that scene of a parent saying that to their own kid and had the response of "i dont understand why sam wont let jacob take care of cora." fuck you, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, if that was your reaction.

i looked for opportunities to get sam to talk about what the rest of those "30 plus years of experience with the man" really looked like after that. the fact that it was used as a plot device without any (from what I COULD FIND in my first pt, if i find any ill edit this) kind of dialogue discussion about that trauma around his father's behavior/mentality and the terrible influence it had is such a waste. chances are!!!!!! id fucking agree with him!!!!!!!!!! SO TELL THEM TO ME BETHESDA!!!!!! give me the chance to storm back into that house with the full story and let that geriatric fuck know why he will not be allowed back into my daughters life (yeah we're gonna be calling cora our daughter on this one bc, again, she's the best thing in the game) until he can learn to be a safe emotional environment for her

and THEN, at the end of the romance, the wrinkly mf drops a "hey can you go over sam's head and make the parenting decisions now" 20 minutes before your vows get exchanged in his living room (WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT MESS OF A WEDDING LMAO ITS A LOT but im probably gonna save it for another sam post where i talk more in depth about why packing a complicated romance in that tightly just Dont Work). like wow. wowowowwow. if that doesnt perfectly sum up how he views the dusty's (shhh i really hope that name catches on pls i keep seeing ppl use captain instead its heartbreaking) role in the family now, and confirm how he's always viewed his own son, idk what does

3: lillian "i can abandon my kid and demand she be taken care of in the same breath" hart

i was originally going to go into hella detail on his relationship with his ex but honestly i think im just gonna leave a few paragraphs and not touch on her again bc its bad for my blood pressure.

okay, here's the deal. im biased in the sense that i had a mother with attachment issues and lets just say that his ex is worth about as much to me as a pile of dogshit. it'd be one thing if she had that moment of "oh. sam and cora bond really well and i dont fit" and decided to look at that and evaluate if she wanted to continue trying to be a parent.

but she didnt have a moment of reflection. she didnt talk to a therapist. she didnt have a discussion with sam. she went back to work and decided "oh well, my kid doesnt like me" and then left her daughter with an open wound and no shot at closure. which is just. wow. that's active abandonment. she WALKED OUT of cora's life because she couldn't stomach the idea that she didnt immediately win over her daughter without any effort to connect to her.

then she has the nerve to yell at sam for not doing the best for cora. like bitch, you cant even consistently answer the phone??? what are you on??? she's REPEATEDLY broken cora's heart with false promises, and clearly made no effort to truly atone for that given just HOW angry sam is ALL the times he brings it up.

and she does it all for what????? a beat cop reputation and some shiny medals????? like shut the fuck up with that righteous indignation piglet, you're killing smugglers under someone's made up authority to protect COMMERSE, not creating galactic peace. the idea that THAT SHIT is worth more to her than her own daughter having a mother who's around for all her life milestones is inFURIATING and id fucking deck her if i could.

the fact that there's zero chance to call her out other than one single "thats a pretty awful thing to say" option is a real cop out from bethesda. they realized they put a woman in a position where she could be really, truly yelled at for something like child care, and chickened out on following through with it so they wouldnt take any heat.

thats gross and should piss you the fuck off, by the way. that sure the fuck isnt what equality looks like by any measure. you don't empower women by acting like they're infallible creatures you cant call out for being flawed. and you sure as shit dont empower the next generation of women by forgiving their abusers.

4: cora's safety

which brings us to the big sticky: sam is a disaster and i DONT think that keeping cora on a combat-active spaceship is right. i think she'd be much better off living in constellation hq (aside from the main plot obvsly) with a constant open comm to her dad and the ability to bring her to outposts and secured sights.

the problem with the biomother's abandonment isnt the distance. its the lack of attempt to connect. its the lack of forming a bond. its the fact that she had zero desire to understand her child once she figured out her child didnt "love her the most" when thats literally not a thing. the problem was never the physical space, and it wouldnt have to be in sam's case, either.

he's a dad that's there for cora day in and day out, he just never got the chance to grow out of the panic stage of a parent worried the first fever is going to kill the baby. he didn't have his dad because he had to get out to protect himself, he doesnt have a mom because of how long she's been dead, and lillian checked the fuck out at an early stage apparently. so sam was left to be the nervous wreck trying to keep history from repeating itself. the man's flying blind in the face of all the combined generational trauma of himself, his father, and his ex, all while trying not to fuck up shaping a human life.

you're damn fucking right he keeps cora glued to his side, i legitimately do not think his own ptsd would allow him to do otherwise without someone like the dusty to come and and go "hey dude, maybe its time we read some emotional intelligence and trauma books so we can start getting cora into a stable environment for literally the first time in her life? also im going to teach her gun safety for my own sanity because you keep letting her walk all over you and its scaring the fuck out of me thinking my daughter is going to try to raid a pirate ship at 15 because no one taught you proper boundaries."

5: his morals

its been 30+ years and his father wont let go of arguing and micromanaging long enough to try to understand his son. lillian is a workaholic who believes her only inherit value is what she can provide to an organization that views living, breathing human beings as occasionally expendable while screaming about its pursuit of freedom and equality.

sam coe is a man who got told what he was supposed to be his entire life, tripped into drugs and crime in an angry, sheltered act of rebellion, and walked away from it all with a very skewed, very flawed interpretation of morality as a result.

lillian and his father are the clear moral compasses in his life. like yeah, sure, he'll talk about how cora is his driving force until he's blue in the face. and he's not lying!!! he's not even technically wrong. she is his active motivation day in and day out. but she is not his Morality. she hasn't developed enough as a person to be able to be that kind of beacon. she's a kid rushing herself through childhood because she thinks that will make her better and no one in her life recognizes it enough to stop it. she shouldnt have to be the moral guide for someone who's supposed to be guiding her

sam cant let go of the ranger envy. he couldnt stomach being around it, but he cant look at that discomfort long enough to identify why. he can walk into a bank and plain as day go "ah, don't you hate the smell of capitalism," but he can't bring himself to blink the stars out of his eyes long enough to ask why the rangers are so willing to put smugglers to death without trial. sam has enough awareness to identify the system is flawed, but he doesnt have the guts to really stare that down

he'll make cracks about walter having too much money and influence, but he wont actually mention how he and his wife are the root cause of an extraordinary amount of pain and suffering and perfectly avoidable manslaughter as a result of their business. i get that constellation runs as a dont as dont tell organization, but if sam's going to give me shit about nabbing a paper weight from a guy's desk, i think we should talk about how he doesnt display anger for walter's business practices.

sam coe, at his heart, is a dreamer who doesn't want to look too close at things. he was taught that some things just Are, and looking for too many answers will find you trouble. he's got the spirit of an explorer dampened by a lifetime spent under cops.

you can hear it in his voice whenever he talks about how proud he is of cora for being a goddamn prodigy. you can hear the wonder and the excitement there. you can hear the curious kid in him that probably got pushed out of the way while he was trying to shape himself into a Proper Coe

i think sam coe is a dreamer who was forcibly taught to fear learning as a child, and thats the real tragedy of him.

so let's start to tie our bow here.

sam is a man who, in a way that only a privillaged kid can, stumbled into neon's life of drugs and smuggling and self harm through destructive behavior with both eyes firmly shut.

he didn't fall into drugs after a lifetime of being submersed in the culture of it. he didnt take them because he grew up surrounded by people that just knew that's all life was ever going to hold. he didnt get into smuggling because he was starving. he didnt take on his first "criminal act" because there was a life and death battle going on somewhere in his life.

this man was drowning in guilt and shame centered around not "being a proper coe" by the time he was free of his father's control, by all accounts. you can hear how much self hatred he has over the memory of that time in his life. look, im not going to say that age and recovery doesnt come with regret, but he talks about it like degeneracy and something to be guilted about rather than just... living life. like so what you did some drugs?? so what you did a capitalism no no?????

corporations arent people. you shouldnt steal from them because itll put YOU at risk, but under no circumstance should anyone hold onto any guilt for stealing from them. money is fake and capitalism murders people every hour of the day. fuck the system, its fucking rigged, look out for you and yours while capitalism is stealing your natural resources and making private homesteading prosecutable (translation: in our actual, real life here, the government can throw you in jail for building a house without a permit. go look up at the sky and think about the moral journey humanity had to take to get us to that point, and then come talk to me about how i shouldnt encourage people to steal from corporations)

anyways back to the video game, as far as the "what if he was unknowingly smuggling something like organs or weapons" argument, there's no desire for me to defend it, tbh. i dont view crime as a personality brand the way cops do. someone being convicted of a crime doesnt make me see them as lesser, it makes me see them as a person who did a bad thing. i do bad shit all the time. we all do. we're human. sometimes there's an excuse for the behavior, and sometimes there isnt. that's not the end of the world. you own up to your actions, you apologize, and you put in the effort to make amends that fit the situation. end of story. the obvious exception to that being when someone you have victimized tells you to fuck off because they dont want your further involvement.

yes. yes there are people in the world that are genuine monsters that spend their time and energy looking for ways to do the cruelest shit imaginable to their fellow human beings. but those are fucking outliers, so no, im not going to let a conversation about morality be derailed by a fraction of a percent of the population

but people (like the rangers) who aren't ready to look at the whole picture of context, who would rather hyper focus on the unbending rule of the land, don't see that. they see a "type" of person once a crime has been committed rather than "a person who found themselves in this scenario"

sam was raised by cops. he fundamentally does not understand how biased his own view is. he'll sometimes make a vague mention of crime being a necessity, but you can hear how many strings are attached there just from the way he talks about it. he truly views crime as a black and white subject with exceptionally few slivers of grey to be found. you can hear the "law and order is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom" in his voice whenever he talks about how the rangers are "good people" he just "didnt fit anymore" and it's heartbreaking

he'd be so much better off if he would take a moment to reevaluate his priorities and look a lot closer at that guilt he carries and why he carries it. i think it would even help him better connect with cora in the long run. it would for sure give him a better handle on why letting his daughter take on college courses this early in her life isnt something to brag about. its a bad sign that she's pushing herself to Be Something in the exact same way he used to. he just doesn't recognize it because her way is "healthy" by society's fucked up view of child prodigies

tl;dr

i don't need to fix sam coe. he's stubborn, traumatized, and sheltered, not broken.

give that man good enough head and i'm absolutely sure he could be talked into reading some -clutches pearls- marxist literature

[tomorrowillbeyou]

why don’t u make a maths sideblog? even just to talk about it

mainly just because i don't make sideblogs unless they're for specific things like thursday bracket etc.. it's kind of a hassle for me to remember to switch between them and stuff like that... if i have a thought it's going on main no matter what topic its about bcoz this isn't really a themed blog it's just about whatever interests i have hehe :3 but the only reason i don't post maths a lot is because i don't usually have many thoughts about maths that translate well into tumblr posts it's one of those things that i struggle to find words for because it's just incredibly There in my life it's kind of like trying to explain the colour blue or something and i don't really feel the need to communicate it to people im just comfortable with hanging out and having it as part of my life.. but i do loveeeee hearing other people's thoughts and discussing questions they have and stuff like that so usually when i post it's something like hey everyone tell me something about maths hehe... if i do post about it it would usually be about some outside context like some homework ive been set or something that happened at a maths related event i was at. or sometimes when i get really obsessed with some part of maths i just make posts that are like ALGORITHM!!! or something because i can't clarify my thoughts/excitement much further than that and they're kind of inane and not fun for anyone except me . Well that's most of my blog but still. also i get nervous to post like facts/explanations because i don't want to act like an authority on things because im not im just at uni u know.... there are many people on this site who know wayyyy more than me lol and i don't want to make stupid mistakes because maths is really important to me. but i will sometimes if like someone specifically asks me to explain something and im comfortable with my knowledge about it.. and ive done that a couple times on here in the past but its probably hard to find. Anyway this has been my essay on why i rarely post maths on here despite it actually being kind of the driving force/central focus of my entire life for a good like third of my life LOL.. maybe i will try to more in the future esp since i am going to be studying many awsome things this year and being taught specifically how to present & write maths and also some theory of education stuff ^_^ look forward to that possibly if it happens. LOVE!!

[fivveweeks]

i am so crasy abt ur tweet abt verdante being a tragedy its like in my mind at all times. like ,,, im rotating it in my head, im so ruined, this idea consumes me u do not understand i am opening up google docs and writing a fic im morose im captivated i am making an ao3 account

like ur so right 4 that one banger

KYAAAA ON MY KNEES... i have so much feelings on it u have no idea. twitter doesn't let me go ham but since we are on tumblr let me write a goddamn essay on this

the thing is that yes i enjoy both verdante being a romcom comedy or a tragedy or anything in between. ofc we'd like them to be happy but part of me like to explore what would happen if we really stayed canon-compliant

and like. let's take a look at them both. Vergilius is canonly someone who's weighed down by his past sins (killing and assassinating and orphaning children), who fully well accepts that he deserves the karma that comes for him (like this man literally is expecting it and doesn't fight it), yet he chooses to drag himself forward bc if he doesn't he will sink into despair. he is full of guilt and shame. verg also seems reluctant to form new bonds which is understandable considering that he lost everything prior to limbus, and how he doesn't want to drag people down with his karma, at the same time it would be extremely hard for him to trust people due to the risks of betrayal and manipulation in the city. he KNOWS that kindness and empathy will be consumed by the city if they don't adapt (see leviathan and his thoughts on garnet) therefore anyone would be wary bc there's always a catch. vergilius is also extremely duty bound to restoring garnet and lapis and it weighs down on him a lot

now i dont see Vergilius as oblivious bc the man would obviously recognise signs of attraction from Dante. but vergilius, despite his harsh exterior, is also kind deep down or at least practical, so taking the above into account, in this scenario he would probably outright address it to dante that he has... personal goals. maybe dante will be sacrificed at the end for limbus company as a whole, maybe not, but Verg makes it clear that he WILL choose lapis and garnet over dante bc that is his responsibility. what he owes to them.

executive manager, he doesn't say, do not be a fool.

and to his surprise, dante just nods and writes him, "I'm aware. It's ok, I understand."

bc dante respects him. they respect his space and not push anything at all (alongside how they probably feel that they are not worthy yet, or that they don't want to burden Vergilius, bc c'mon they're stumbling through their responsibilities after losing their memory, work is more important than personal interest now), i also like to think dante isn't say, self-depreciating, but more like they've accepted that they have so much to live up to and Vergilius has something to achieve and they will not stand in his way, so they're content to just spend time with Vergilius as manager and guide.

and there's that. they don't talk about it after the day. nothing changes between them. they continue on as manager and guide.

the only exception is that now Vergilius is aware that Dante fully accepts that he will sacrifice them for his own goals. yet Dante is content to spend time around him and vice versa (he doesn't admit it)

and isn't that the tragedy?

vergilius, to be aware that something could have sparked between the both of you, yet you cannot afford to cross the line due to circumstances. occasionally imagining what it could had been if the both of you were actually allowed to. how should you feel when the other person still seeks you out and befriends you despite knowing that you will never pick them

and dante, getting the confirmation that you will never be picked and will be the third or fourth or whatever choice but that's okay. manager and guide is enough, you WILL enjoy whatever there is between the both of you without asking for more

personally, unrequited love as a tragedy is not effective to me bc it's not that hard to respect another person's feelings and not make yourself the victim.

the REAL tragedy here is being aware of the lost potential and what-could-had-beens, yet IN SPITE OF THAT theres the quiet acceptance and humble enjoyment of whatever there is between the both of them bc that's all they can afford. how fate and the city fucked them both up. yet they stay professional because they respect each other too much (to the point of suppressing their personal feelings for the other) to make this into a hassle

maybe dante dies at the end of limbus and verg would reminisce on what it could had been. maybe verg dies and dante occasionally recalls the little moments they get to spend together. maybe they both die. maybe they both live but they walk a too different path to ever converge again. maybe we slap canon in the face and let them survive or meet up again in the future.

whatever it is, i just really enjoy the sweet sweet pining between the both of them throughout limbus company. the horrors of Knowing. i'm going to bite something

[witchwhaat]

hello, here to share my opinions on troye's new album (sorry if it gets too long) 😌 as i said im absolutely OBSESSED with this album. like i always enjoyed his music, but to show this level of iconography????? CMON????? there is one problem i have with the album tho: every time i try to listen to it from start to finish, i get delayed by the fucking masterpiece that is "one of your girls" :/ every time this song comes on, i have to listen to it at least 5 times. wtf troye???? i would say it's my fave on the album, but that's an understatement. that's the best song of the whole year for me. god. isnt this giving daft punk like hello????? THE MV ALSO?????? 🤯 okay moving on to the other songs sjsjdhdhf u know that i loved all the singles, and they sound even better in the context of the album!! there is not a song i dont enjoy in this album, i couldnt even make a ranking because they are all so good. overall, THE BEATS in this album got me floating in space and shaking my ass at the same time. THE LYRICS???? i reallllly love the lyrics too i feel like they elevate the experience a lot which is so cool. the songs i find myself replaying the most (other than the obviously stated one above jsjdhf): in my room, honey, got me started (this one is a grower tbh). also i really feel like the songs are really cohesive and work so well together. i feel like every song will have their turn of being my fave in the upcoming months, because i intent to keep this on rotation ABSOLUTELY. this will be a contemporary pop classic and now troye is one of the main pop girls, sorry i dont make the rules... anyway, what are your thoughts? 😌

hello my beloved, finally answering to this ask!😭 sorry for keeping you waiting for so long aaaaaah

okay, first of all, i love your thoughts and i couldn't agree more about everything you said! <3 i keep coming back to this album, idk what troye put in it but it's SO addicting aaah! oh i absolutely understand the obsession with "one of your girls" bc GOD, it's amazing. chef's kiss on every level, the lyrics are perfect, the production is 10/10, the mv!!! (and yeeees, the daft punk vibes!!) are you kidding me?!! imo, the mv perfectly shows the transition between this album and troye's previous albums, he's confident, he's serving and he knows what he wants! and that's actually something i love about the whole album, it's very touching to see him being even more mature with his music and SO confident and it feels so freeing! genuinely, i'm so happy and grateful that i grew up with his music, it was veery important to me in my teenage years and it makes me so happy to see him grow as an artist (and person) waaah🥹 and i think that's also why i love this album so much, bc it's another step! ANYWAY yeeees, that's something i love so much about troye's music - how lyrics elevate the sound and vice versa. and oh yeah, the sounds and beats got me ascending aslkfkdsjfkjsah like come oooon!! and yeees the album is cohesive but i also like that every song has it's own story bc that's another thing i really like about troye's music haha which is narration! and with this album, i really like that there are themes that connect everything together, but that it's also all pretty "loose" and bc of that the songs are both good on their own but also work very well together! what can i say, troye gets it and he's The pop girl! fr, i was so excited about this album and had high expectations and he did not dissapoint! i love every single, although yeah, i also wasn't convinced about "got me started" at the beginning but it's a really good sample and i enjoy it A Lot now. it's soo hard to choose a fave, but i love rush (i could write a whole essay on rush AND i'm OBSESSED with the mv), still got it, can't go back and what's the time where you are? (perfect "me and this song against the world and life horrors aka going to work/uni" song) the most i think. troye saved this year with that album and he saved me during winter semester lol i'm so devastated that he's not coming to poland on his tour WHY troye WHYYY😭 (like what do you mean you won't come to poland but there's 5! FIVE germany dates come oooon)

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I almost hate how much i switched teams from 2718 to abacus, but its just bc he's new and shiny and pretty and pushy. He stifles autonomy so i know 2817 is better in the long run bc u can reason w him and he puts mcs best interests first. Abacus gives me the kind of vibe that he'd let mc get hurt so long as shes his, and tbh i feel like he might enjoy it? Like he'd like to fix her up and *accidentally* press a lil too hard into her wounds wheras 2718 would just use his abilities so that she wont feel the pain to begin w. That's just my assumption tho given what we've seen. Abacus seem the type to only use his powers thingy to subdue reader.

We know that 2718 has met readers past forms/reincarnation w.e u call it and i originally thought abacus did too. Maybe he was her affair or lover in a previous reincarnation methinks? I just felt like he knows her before. This changed a bit towards the end when they were walkin thru the streets while he was giving her the endoscopy (😮‍💨💦) and we learned just how badly mc is seen. Now im starting to wonder if aba is just greedy n wanted her as his lil disabled spouse genuinely, no past relation. Idk. I still feel like they know each other previously. Or maybe he sensed something abt her back when 2817 brought her in to that place all the way back then. Mc is key to the universe type thing. Doubt that tho.

Neyways i think aba is gnna take her home where he reveals that he not only has four arms, but also two dicks n he's gnna try to fawk her but some event will inconveniently stop him. I also think he lives in an oasis like place, their version of natural wood everywhere, running waterfalls from the cieling, tons of glass that he can mentally control and shatter at will to threaten reader while having a saccharine smile on his face, the works really.

I wnna believe translator(TA) is gnna get 2718 and theyll find mc but now im thinking maybe they might not meet up like that. 2718 might find TA n ditch her to find mc and TA has to scramble to keep up, might even meet her on the way back after 2718 saves the day. Also wondering whts gnna happen to TA bc i dont think anything criminally bad happened to her even tho we heard her screaming. Be real interesting if she were screaming bc 2817 found her and juuuust missed mc and aba. I think when 2718 finds mc and aba they're gnna be familiar w eachother but not fight bc aba is one slippery bastard. Or maybe itll be convenient where aba leaves mc unattended for a bit and someone tries to harm her and then 2718 makes him big appearance, like when mc was first dropped into the world and 2718 saved her. I have more thoughts on that but ive already wrote an essay here and in my other ask 😭

Anywhooo ty fr the chapter, hope your healing well 💕💕💕 -🐰

Damn this sure is a well written essay 😳 its either ur a really good analyst or im just a predictable writer cause it almost seems like u have access to my drafts

Cuase that... Kinda exactly whats gonna happen ngl, its still pretty rough around the edges part 15 is just still in its embryo stage with a 50 word list of whars going to hapoen, but yea it pretty similar to what you just described , havent been writing cause i regained my leg freedom finally and i spent literally every waking hour outside, driving and shit

There is going to be a fawking scene in p15 ill tell u and whoevers reading that. Similar to what you descibe with their anatomy but a little different in sequence of events

Thanks for sending in this ask bunny anon this is so cool and i had a great read ❤️❤️ lovely motivation youve given me and i really appreciatte the essay asks -- like, i appreciate if A LOT actually, thanks for reading language barrier too