#i have a lot going on but maybe I will try to resurrect this blog in the future. No promises as susual

[farflungcastleknights]

Forgot to post this,, my gift to @tiktokonaclock for the 2024 Bakugan Secret Santa

[op-sys-chaos]

The Writing Gremlin has not left me alone lately

So here's what I've been working on!! :)

(I tried to bold stuff so you could skim it to read what you want! I also put a Keep Reading in case you're not interested in DC and DPxDC fanfiction.)

The Pit Made Me Do It (And I'm So Sorry)

a dc fic where the mechanics of the Lazarus Pit are different than canon, leading to lots of angst where Jason is forced to kill Tim if he wants his sanity back

chapter 4 in progress

A Message from the Dead

a group of fics written by several people, including me, based on my dpxdc demon twins prompt about Danny sending Bruce a video revealing his existence

chapter 3 of Looking for a Ghost in progress, other ideas stirring around in my brain

When You Break The Universe, The Universe Breaks You

a dc fic series made in collab with brucewaynehater101 (not tagged bc I feel bad bugging them lmao but go check them out they're awesome) about Tim trying to switch places with Jason moments before his death and breaking the universe in the process, spawning multiple AUs

chapter 2 of Hope of a Wraith in progress

Not So Artificial Intelligence

a fic based on a dpxdc batfamily prompt of the same name by corkinavoid (also not tagged bc again I don't wanna bother them, i've been tagging them enough in the last two days in posts about this, but also they're awesome so go check them out) about Danny getting trapped in the batcomputer and becoming their friendly AI

chapter 3 in progress

Weirdly Competent

a fic based on a dpxdc justice league prompt by @bet-on-me-13 where Danny is a doctor who knows way more than he should about alien biology

I haven't posted it yet but likely will very soon, maybe even tonight!

Twins, or What It Takes to Be Resurrected

a fic based on a dpxdc demon twins prompt I wrote where dead Damian needs Danny to pretend to be him at a gala to help Damian get resurrected, despite the two of them being separated for years

I haven't posted it yet but likely will very soon, maybe even tonight!

I also have like 6 other prompts I want to write for rn too, so keep an eye out for even more fanfiction :D

If you wanna read any of these, go to AO3 and check out my content (I'm brynthewriter over there) or go to the pinned masterpost on my blog (this one or my writing one with the same name as my ao3) for fic links!

[bao3bei4]

why zines? how zines?

i was on a panel at fanworks con 2023 about zines today. it was a lot of fun! i decided to turn my portion of the talk into a post for my friends who couldn’t make it to the panel. 

this post includes my thoughts on: 

why make a zine

how to generate ideas for zines

how to finish your zines

how to build an audience for your zines

so why zines? what are they? [ZEENS, rhymes with beans], pronounced that way because it’s a shortened form of the word magazine, are basically just that: self published magazines. but why make a zine over, say, a blog post? or any other piece of art. 

i have basically three reasons. the first is that making little books is cool. it’s genuinely awesome to make physical zines and have the product of your labor in your hand. it’s a great feeling to finish a project and feel a concrete reward, and a lot of times we don’t get that in our lives.

the second reason is that zines give you absolute editorial control. you can put anything you want on a page. whatever layout, whatever order, whatever fold, whatever content. you name it, you can do it. this is something other venues rarely give you. for artists, it’s phenomenal. and for the rest of us, it gives us the ability to become artists for a little bit, as we lay things out.

the third reason is that zines can be absolute shit. in fact, the more shit they are, the more diy and punk they are. they have an incredible lineage of stolen copy paper and anarchist politics. all that to say, is that there are no standards. the zine ethos is say what you wanna say. it’s tremendously freeing to go fuck polish and respectability, i’m making my project.

because of these three reasons, i want to encourage you to get started making zines by describing common challenges and worries and giving you several practical tips for each on working past them. so, in order, they’re “i don’t know what to make a zine about,” “i struggle to finish projects,” and “no one will read my zines.” let’s get into it.

first up, “i don’t know what to make a zine about.” i think this one is pretty common, even for experienced zine creators. sometimes you’re in the mood to make things but you have no clue what. a lot of people suggest to just go with random words or whatever pops into your head, but i’m picky! i find that unsatisfying! so here are some tips for people in the same boat. 

ONE: what’s distracting you? work with it. because anything can be a zine, let the things you’ve already done serve as inspiration. photos you’ve taken can be formatted into a zine. is there a game sucking up your attention? make a zine about it. the song stuck in your head can turn into a lyricbook, forgotten works in progress or sketches can be resurrected, cannibalized, or even published as incomplete zines. if you’ve been busy with real life, maybe the recipes you’ve been making—even if, especially if, they’re struggle meals, can turn into zines. interview your most interesting friend. summarize a book you read recently. even if you’ve just been doomscrolling, that’s a zine too! i got a zine last weekend called bay area newsreel which was collecting recent articles about local news from leftist perspectives gathered up into a handy volume. your attention is a gift, so look at what zine fodder it’s accumulated for you naturally. 

SECOND: add a twist. sometimes i have an idea but it isn’t quite right. it just seems too straightforward. so i try to develop along a single axis of content or form. what this means is basically go against your instincts, or rather, your first impulse. that first idea is very hard to walk away from, but doing so often gives you an idea that gets you unstuck. so for content, add a different perspective. for me this is often a theoretical approach. when i was stuck on my scum villain zine, turning it into freud zine let the words start flowing. next, on form: present it differently than your first instinct is to. if my first thought is “essay,” i try to figure out how to chunk out the information into modules or how to add interactivity or what kind of illustrations to add. if my first thought is “this could be a fic or comic,” i try turning it into an essay. saying things a different way often gives you a new perspective on the content as well. 

THIRD: copy! make your take on the same thing as someone else. it’s not stealing—well, ideally it isn’t. make your original take and give credit where credit is due and ask permission if necessary. but engage with the medium!!! making zines without reading zines is the same thing as trying to write a paper without citing sources, or a novel without reading your contemporaries. that is, you can do it, but it’s hard. zines are a genre into themselves so figure out how to situate yourself in their ongoing dialogue. an example of this from my own practice is that i own a zine about queer gods and mythological creatures from chinese history. reading it i was like. why don’t they talk about this. why don’t they talk about that. and that became the basis for my own zine, guaitai the strange and the queer which focused on queer chinese history and literature instead. different zine, same inspiration. 

all of my ideas suppose you have SOMETHING going on. what if you truly have nothing. my advice? adapted from my “how to write an essay” blog post, is to read a book. read an article. read something. and then post about it. and then turn your posts into a zine. don’t start entirely from scratch — give yourself a scaffolding. so first. read something and tell someone about it. i wasn’t lying about calling myself a consummate poster. it’s a big part of my thought process. 

second up, what if “i struggle to finish projects.” i’m no stranger to having a bunch of half finished half started projects lying around. but here are some zine-specific tips i have for addressing that.

FIRST! go smaller; go shittier. reduce the scope of your projects. make one pagers, lists. once when i was feeling stymied, i made a physical zine about movies i’d watched that month, just listing them with a couple bullet points on each film. i eventually turned it into a bigger digital zine where i listed movies i’d watched over the past several months with more thoughts on them, and nicely formatted. but that was something that came out of reducing my scope from “i need to write a manifesto on a movie i’ve watched recently” to “well i can just tell people about it” to “i can say two things about it.” and something actually got finished.

SECOND. your friends are a great tool for accountability. something i like to do is zine jams with my friends. nothing fancy, it’s just we’ll sit down for an hour and go we’re going to make something in this hour. or, for a bigger scope, we might work separately but commit to making a zine that weekend. it’s nice to have community and it’s nice to feel a little bit of a friendly deadline. i recommend this even if you DON’T have problems finishing zines. it’s a good time. 

THIRD. a lot of times if the words aren’t coming easily, it’s because i’m not trying to say the right thing. keep in mind that your zines don’t have to be “content.” this little paper zine i made about movies wasn’t made to share online; in fact, it’s not available online. i didn’t make it according to what other people would see or be interested in. you can and will burn out on making “marketable” content. corollary to this: sometimes what i have to say is something i DON’T want to share online. it might not be that it’s boring, it might be that it’s too personal. and i share a lot online, i write personal essays after all. but some projects i stall on because they’re really just for me, and i’m again, focused on making content. so this piece of advice is about rejecting the tyranny of the imaginary audience. 

and the next challenge is about embracing that audience! what if no one reads your zines, something that’s entirely possible. well there’s plenty you can do about that.

FIRST. cultivate zine community. read other people’s zines! talk to them about their zines! this greatly increases the chance that they will do the same for you. don’t go in expecting reciprocity; do it for its own sake, but it’s a great place to start. try asking people at zine fests if they’d be willing to trade with you, for instance. 

SECOND. write for yourself. it’s cheesy but it’s true. you really have to. if you’re not proud and happy with what you’re making on its own merits, what’s the point. now because this is a cop out tip, i’m not counting it as a tip on its own. 

so SECOND PART TWO. make your zines more accessible. if they’re not free, make them free—yes, you deserve to be compensated for your work, but it’s up to you to decide if you want a bigger audience first. if your zines aren’t short, make them shorter. make them short enough that you can post their entirety on social media or something else easy for your audience to consume. it’s a big ask sometimes to get someone to download your pdf! if they’re physical, hand them out to people you meet. remove all the barriers to entry.

THIRD. related to this, change medium. if you’re not making physical zines, try printing them out. if you’re not making digital zines, try digitizing them. both of these offer access to new audiences and new people who might be more interested in one form than another. 

i hope these thoughts encourage you to make a zine! if you do, please let me see it. i love reading zines. 

[utilitycaster]

Been burning through the third campaign of NADDPOD recently off of your recommendation and it's been incredible. Though it has made me think of what exactly makes its callbacks and references to the previous campaign work so well compared to C3. As you pointed out in your post about the podcast, they share more than a few similarities. I'd guess that the lighter tone overall helps quite a bit, though the Irondeep Saga and Hardwon's return to the adventuring life is genuinely very effective!

To me, most if not all of C3's returning characters and callbacks were self-aggrandizing and distracting. The initial return to Whitestone for Laudna especially.

I have not finished NADDPOD's C3 yet so maybe I'll be proven wrong, but I was just wondering if you had any insight on why it just, works better than its counterpart? Also, big fan of the blog! Your meta post have kept me sane during the various errands that Bells Hells half heartedly accomplish.

So I do want to note my issue with Whitestone and Laudna's resurrection isn't so much seeing Percy and Vex and Pike and Keyleth; it's much more that having that available so early cut off some notable opportunities in Marquet. Going to Jiana would have probably made the Delilah issue much more of a factor (since I doubt anyone she'd have known would have been a L20 cleric familiar with Delilah), would have done interesting things for Ashton's story, and would have kept the party on the continent and in the city, possibly spending more time with Eshteross and maybe even giving them an additional chance to encounter Otohan in person. In retrospect this could have fixed like five different things. I actually found that the previous character callbacks were one of the strongest elements and increasingly I also feel the original NPCs of C3, Otohan and Ozo aside, while few and far between, would have been great if Bells Hells like, cared about them and spent time with them.

I think the more important part is that Murph is not trying to wrap up an overarching plot across multiple campaigns; he's simply telling, well, the campaign after the campaign. He was pretty clear about that in the initial discussions for NADDPod C3 - it's heavily influenced by the decisions in the initial Bahumia campaign but like, the plot isn't to end the astral plane god-battles that set off; it's to save Bahumia from Mothership (and those two factions evolve to have other implications, but the core conflict is introduced early and remains as is). Now, I also think that having a smaller party that is generally absolutely fearless when it comes to decision-making is an important part and they deserve credit (just as, while I think Matt's errors were most significant for C3's issues, the cast's waffling and fear of picking the wrong choice is a factor - even a "wrong" choice would have been better in most cases), but a lot of it is that it's a pretty standard D&D style plot executed well. (This would be another really long post but I really do think D&D can handle a range of plots and genres, but it's still a limited range of plots and genres, and if you try to subvert it, as people increasingly try to do, it will not reward you for cleverness but rather backfire. I don't think C3 tries to subvert D&D nor do I think D&D is the problem here; also just to stave off dumb comments, Pathfinder has the same exact limitations and Daggerheart likely will have very similar ones - this is about a combat-skills-forward fantasy game with level progression in general of which D&D is the most prominent but by no means only example. However since I just answered about Neverafter, while that's not the question, I think Murph has a particularly good understanding of what D&D can do.)

I think it's a few things but I think one reason Murph has such a track record is first, he identifies pretty strongly as a comedy writer, though he's also obviously a performer; secondly, he is as far as I can tell cautious and surly and he came to TTRPGs as an adult; and thirdly, two major influences he has that others tend not to cite are gaming and wrestling, and I really think this is important.

I think as a writer, he tends to have a good sense of narrative and where things have to go. That doesn't mean there aren't unexpected turns, but I think he does a good job of planning for contingencies and having a confident hand in turning the story back. And again, I think having a 3-person party makes it easier to get back on the rails (or to build a new track very quickly) but I think he, to quote a truly stupid but not entirely wrong self-help quote, begins with the end in mind.

The cautiousness and surliness are in my opinion the secret to NADDPod. Look. Niceness is, well, nice, though Brennan has a great bit that I watched recently and have since forgotten the source of about how kindness and niceness are two separate concepts. I think Murph is really willing to tell his players "No" and I think it is always to his benefit. I think making your players explain what they want to do, or being willing to turn your player's riffing into something that might not be their intention (Sol and Albie and the whole reveal that the Academy made everyone feel like a hero while essentially churning out manufactured duos stands out to me) is important. I don't want to say every home game should have this because it shouldn't - if you are playing at home casually and just want to make your friends feel like the coolest people ever, you don't have to do this! But if you are an actual play show you should be telling a story, and to tell a good story you do have to kill a few darlings and make a few edits, and Murph is willing to do that and Matt is sometimes too generous for his own good to the detriment of story (and, imo, I think it's ultimately less rewarding for the players in the long run much of the time too!)

And thirdly, games and wrestling. Now I am obviously no expert in games, but from a complete beginner's perspective, something that keeps striking me is how many people become affronted when the side quests (or, more accurately, ignoring the side quests) impact the main quest in significant ways, even though it's simply good writing to have side quests that enhance your understanding of the main quest and make you stronger or better able to approach it because of your experiences. This is in fact one of the biggest reasons why C3 is so weak, and one of the reasons why I think NADDPod is consistently strong. And then as for wrestling: I am even less of an expert here, but wrestling requires clear storytelling and especially clear motivations, (hard to be subtle in that medium) and story told primarily through combat that better have a great conclusion. It's also, notably, a remarkably unpretentious thing to be into, even though it's popular with a lot of nerds (Danielle Radford is the guest from last week; Ify's a wrestling fan as well). As a result, I think Murph isn't afraid to be blunt and unsubtle in service of actually making something good and entertaining and cohesive, instead of trying to say something deep and failing. Because nothing crashes to the ground and burns than trying to say something deep and failing. I mean I love pretentiousness, but I know when to drop it, and I think NADDPod on the whole does too.

[ghostingkai]

I'm bored of Twitter and don't really post there much, so idk maybe I'll start using this blog more. I just want to talk about the spoilers so far for ch145--

OBLIGATORY: None of these details are confirmed until the actual chapter comes out, I'm basing a lot of my opinions on conversations from people who have already seen the chapter. What I've seen so far:

-There's a mirror world, though whether it's actually happening is unclear, it could simply be an illusion or a creation by Mikuni

-Touma is wearing a wedding ring?! AND DRIVING A FAMILY CAR? Has a son named Touma Mahiru?!?! WHAT?

-Touma and Tsurugi apparently don't know each other in this mirror world, it's unclear if Tsurugi is even around at all

-Someone mentioned something about "Shirota Mahiru" being unable to do magic, unlike "Touma Mahiru." I would love to see mirror world Mahiru as a training magician, that would be fascinating

-It honestly sounds like Touma has a happy and normal family life, which is just... what the hell is happening in this series anymore, I love it

-Some people have speculated that Misono is supposed to be born 'later' in the mirror world. Not sure if this is just their assumptions, or if that's really what Mikuni's plan is -- to create a world where Misono is never born to Mikado, so that Mikuni can father him later in life (even typing that has me dying lmao)

-Someone else mentioned Mikuni giving a mirror as his contract item (I'm assuming he was giving it to the Count, but that part wasn't mentioned)

"In the mirror world, where 'Shirota Mahiru' is actually 'Touma Mahiru'..."

Umm, excuse me, WHAT? WHAT IS THIS? So, assuming this works the way it sounds like it works -- Mikuni has either awakened the Count and managed to recreate an alternate timeline, or he's using some type of magic/illusion to show everyone what would happen in his ideal world. Either way, I'm referring to it as "Mikuni's mirror world" and I'm not gonna think about it too much farther than that until I've read the chapter myself >u>

First of all -- the idea of Touma being in a marriage with Akira is absolutely wild. Actually, thinking about Touma being happy is wild in itself lol. It sounds like he's part of an actual family unit, which I'm dying to see, but at the same time, it also sounds like he never actually met Tsurugi in the mirror world.

My initial assumption was that the mirror world was Mikuni's creation, and that the reason Touma ends up with Akira there is because Mikuni is, in his own way, trying to "correct" the lies that eventually brought everything to its current state.

But thinking about it more, I suppose it's also possible that if Mikuni truly is responsible for creating a world where Touma has a family, his reasoning could have simply been to deter Touma from pursuing his goal of resurrecting the Count himself.

It was mentioned in an earlier chapter that Mikuni and Lily involved Mahiru in everything because they were hoping that Touma would be unwilling to harm or kill his son in order to get to Kuro. When they realized they were wrong (VERY wrong lmao,) it's possible Mikuni thought that the world's "second round" would go much smoother if Touma didn't feel the need to resurrect the Count -- or if he had a closer bond with Mahiru. No one posting spoilers has mentioned if Mahiru even contracted with Kuro in this mirror world, so it's hard to say at this point.

I don't know... this is all just word of mouth at this point, but I am DYING to see this chapter. Did Tsurugi just not exist in this world? Or is he still there, walking around, with no bond to Touma whatsoever?

I don't know what's wrong with Mikuni anymore, and I'm done trying to figure it out, but omg it sounds like he's really fucking things up, and I'm here for it lol.

[lime-ether]

Why the , fuck are you blocking your fans? They just repost artists that are Russians, and it’s not their fault that their Putin attacked you

I didn't want to write something like this on this blog but damn. I wanted to close this topic once and for all. There's quite a lot of text here but I'm just tired of being called guilty for the fact that I'm still alive

Ahem, The most important

Don't talk to me in Russian. Do I understand it? Unfortunately, Yes. But I don't want to see it here in my safe space. There is UKR/ENG in my description for a reason.

Maybe when you come to this blog, you think that I am a friendly creator who treats everything neutrally, but no.

If you repost, draw, promote any content in Russian or Russian projects - go away, I'm not happy for you here.

Imbeciles who have never experienced real thought and learn about the world solely through fandom love to tell you wrong with the certainty of a gnat. They relax in their armchairs, scroll through TikTok, think poverty means not owning a house, maybe an iPad, and maybe check one article a day on Twitter/ X — only if it's about pop culture. Then they slide in a news of someone who survived the bombing, acting like they're the moral police. If you know nothing and your understanding is woefully shallow, at least try to resist the urge to write all kinds of nonsense

"bUt wHy cAn't I tAlK aNd sPrEaD fUnNy rUs mEmEs" or "LANGUAGE CAN'T HARM YOU" of course. but the people who use it have killed my neighbors, my parents friends, my uncle, Friends and EVEN A NIECE WHO WAS NOT EVEN A YEAR OLD and many more than just my family.

destroyed other people's houses and my plans for the future

They wish death on each of us every day and the saddest thing is that I grew up with this I don't remember what it was like to live without war, do you think it was three years? 10 years? No. It was practically always like that

So you know they organized the Holocaust–Or famine , made 'fraternal' wars between Ukrainians, simply KILLED OUR NATION EVERY TIME, but we manage to resurrect ourselves almost every time, And every time they try to break us again. It's not just Putin who comes and kills everyone, it's a whole nation that steals, kills and erases important things from history, it's a nation that comes and steals and abuses and steals our children, or do a crimes to women or men.

The most big thing

I hate when westerns joke about 'soviet'

But what I hate most is when they hypocritically repost pro-Palestinian posts and are completely calm about Russians who post what a good day they are having after bombing another residential area

If you are a western that somehow supports Russians and reposts their work, arts, animation, game's, Creation

you are a bad person for me, I'm disappointed in you, get out of here, And don't you dare come back here.

Because Is it THAT HARD for you to at least try to understand what other people might be feeling? It's so hard to check that the person you follow pays taxes and continues to support the nightmare?

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [18]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 9,775

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, canon character death, blood, canon violence, mention of previous abuse, mention of drug use, mention of drug addiction, mention of canon gore, kind of a mention of alcoholism

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: I can't believe I've had to type out canon character death 4 times for this series lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

You and Gar are seated on the floor facing each other while Rachel went out to get you some supplies. You're trying to wrap your head around how you're supposed to function around the city and take down Crane when the entire city wants your heads on spikes. The GCPD has always been weird about Batman but now they actually want all of the Titans taken down and with Crane behind it, that can't mean just throwing you all in cells and tossing away the key. You can't just go out and fight every civilian that hates you now. They're brainwashed because that's what Crane does and fighting people who have no clue what they're doing isn't going to help your situation. It feels more like you're all sitting ducks at this point.

"Doesn't it bother you?" Gar asks, breaking the silence between you, earning an eyebrow raise from you. "How Jason came back."

Your eyes narrow slightly, unsure how or why it would bother you. Him being alive is a good thing. "Why would it bother me?"

"I mean the Lazarus Pit." Gar states as he leans forward. "Like, he came back and that's just it? Some water somewhere is magic and can bring people back from the dead. That doesn't make sense."

You nod your head slowly, this is the same thing he told you at the manor when he showed you some of the books Bruce had on it. "Yeah, we went over that. It's because of Ra's which I think makes a lot of sense, honestly. It's still bothering you that much?"

"Yeah, like why doesn't anyone know where it is? Or what if they do but it's a secret. Bruce knew, right? Why didn't Bruce close it off like the others? Why did he keep the one in Gotham open?" Gar rambles off his questions.

Of all topics that's going to pick at Gar, this is it? The Lazarus Pit? You're bothered by it, too but not enough to be sitting here thinking about it when you're worried the Titans are going to be hunted for sport now. You've been separated and you're going to need each other but Gar doesn't seem bothered by it at all. Just the Lazarus Pit.

You blink at him a few times. "I've been trying to rationalize the decisions Bruce makes but I think that's more of a dead end than anything else. If anyone is going to have that answer outside of Bruce, it'd probably be Jason or Dick. But, they don't really get him either. I don't know." You shrug your shoulders. "Bruce is paranoid, maybe that's all there is to it. Couldn't explain why no one else knows..."

"Yeah, he's paranoid!" Gar groans. "So why leave it open?"

"No, I mean that's probably why. Or research." You let out a breath. "Maybe he's worried something will happen if he closes all of them off. Or he needs it to do more research. I don't know." You scoff. "I don't know how he feels about resurrection so maybe he wants to use it to help people or something I have no fucking idea, Gar. I think you'll drive yourself insane if you try to rationalize Bruce Wayne." You lean back on your hands, stretching out your legs.

"Maybe more people know about it." Gar says quietly. "If Crane knew..." Gar trails off as his eyes grow worried.

Without him finishing, you know exactly what he's thinking.

"Yeah, thought of that." You nod your head, your heart skipping a beat.

If Crane knew and his guy knew, more people know. They have to. Gotham is a big city so anyone can stumble upon it. People talk, it's what they do. It can't be that big of a secret. The question is who knows about it. If Crane knows, more Arkham inmates might know. More people who are crooked might know. There have been some really bad people who've been killed. If Jason can come back, so can they.

"We have to find it." Gar states.

"Why?" You ask flatly, tired of the circles you've been running.

"So we can do something about it." Gar says sternly.

"Like what?" Your voice raises.

Considering Crane is literally taking over the city, poisoning the water, and still might be wanting to distribute his drug, you think your hands a little bit full at the moment. Why go messing with something like a Lazarus Pit? That just sounds like a bad idea. Doing research into it is fine but the way you see it, it's probably best to leave well enough alone. Maybe you all should tackle one problem at a time and the Lazarus Pit doesn't seem to be a problem right now.

"I don't know! But maybe we can understand more about it and...use it for good. Or close it off so people like..." Gar's voice trails off as his eyes dodge yours. "The Joker don't get brought back."

"We should leave it alone." You urge, not missing a beat. "That's...that's Bruce and Ra's' business and Jason filled me in on the whole League Of Assassins and the Al Ghuls and I don't want to fuck with them."

"Since when are you on Bruce's side?" Gar scoffs in disbelief. The you he knows would love to do anything to get one over on Bruce, to show him up, prove he's wrong. Or just spite him in general. "He left. He left Dick to clean up his mess."

"I'm not on Buce's side." You grit your teeth. "I don't know why I have to be on anyone's side besides my own, by the way. Look, he's been doing the Batman shit a long fucking time and his methods don't always work but there has to be a reason the pit was left open." You pause for a few seconds before you shake your head. "It brought Jason back. It's not up to us to close it or do something with it."

The room falls silent with your final words. A lot of really bad people can be brought back and that is obviously a big concern. And you disagree with Bruce like you get paid for it but you know if that, of all things, was left open there is a reason for it. It brought Jason back. The way you see it, it can't be up to you and Gar to do anything about it. The Lazarus Pit isn't a battle and it's not up for Gar and you to make it into one. That's Bruce, Ra's' and Jason's business now.

"I got everything." Rachel states as she walks into the room, gaining Gar's and yours attention. The two of you get to your feet as Gar takes the bag from Rachel. "So, this happened last night? With the GCPD?" Rachel asks as Gar looks through the bag and pulls out a box of Cheeze Its.

"Yeah." You nod. "We, uh, we were set up. Dick and Babs had a plan to get the public off our backs but uh, Crane has basically the rest of the department on his payroll now so, uh, yeah." You nod your head as you look to the ground. Gar nudges you softly, offering you the bag. You look inside, seeing clothes. "Thank you." Your eyes widen at Rachel as you nod your head but before you can go to change, all of your phones start blaring an alarm.

The three of you pull out your phones, hoping this means cell towers are back up and running but you can never get so lucky. Instead, Jason wearing the Red Hood suit appears on your screens. Sam's heart falls to her feet. This is never good.

"Hello Gotham!" Jason cheers. "It's Red Hood coming to you live from the most exclusive spot in town: The Batcave. For too long, this city has been at the mercy of criminals and I'm not just talking about the Penguin and the Riddler and The Joker. I'm talking about the ones who pretend to help but only make things worse. First Batman and now the Titans. Hypocrites who feed off of your terror and pursuit of glory and they turn Gotham into a city of carnage. But it all comes to an end today. There's a new savior in town. First thing I'm going to do is burn the trash. You hear me, Nightwing? You're public enemy numero uno. But not for long, meet me at midnight. You know the place. It's time for us to finish this." Jason finishes before the screens go black.

You can feel the headache coming back. What the fuck?

"Okay, what the hell was that about?" Gar asks, looking to you.

Just last night Jason got you both to safety, took out the snipers. Gar might have been a bit out of it but he remembers that pretty vividly. Now, Jason is back with Crane?

"I literally have no fucking idea." You let out a groan, stuffing your phone back into the pocket of your suit.

"I thought he was on our side?" Rachel asks.

"Yeah." Gar raises his brows. "Isn't he supposed to be?"

"He is!" You immediately defend, desperately grabbing for an ounce of faith and reason Jason might have. "I don't know what he's doing. Maybe..." You pull in a breath, trying to figure out why he'd be acting like he's trying to target the Titans. If it were you, it'd be an act, a ploy to play both sides. "Maybe it's to meet up with Dick? I don't know. I mean, he has to make the public think he's with them and not us. He has to play along with Crane or he's dead again. And Crane clearly has access to the towers so it's not like Jason can just...call Dick. Crane might know." You nod your head, mostly just blurting out whatever bullshit you could come with on the spot.

"That's not reassuring." Gar remarks. "How do we know he's not working with Crane again?" Gar asks and he wants to hold onto hope that's not the case but after everything, even he's starting to be chiseled down into a calloused version of himself.

"We don't." You state, holding your head steady, careful not to waver. "We don't know. I don't think he would but it's always possible Crane drugged him again, I guess." You roll your eyes before you roll your shoulders. "Okay, I'm gonna go find Dick."

"No!" Gar protests. "They're going to try to kill you if you go out there. We need to stay hidden until we think of a plan."

"Yeah, I'm with Gar on this one." Rachel states, glancing between the two of you.

"I know this city like the back of my hand. I can find him and be fine." You argue back casually.

At this point, you aren't too afraid of what's out there. It can't possibly be any worse than anything you've experienced lately. You can change, go out as a civilian until you find them. It shouldn't take too long and if it does, you know where they'll be at midnight and you can go there. Someone has to find Dick before any of this gets any worse. And someone needs to find Jason to make sure he's not actually going to try and kill Dick again. You're volunteering, again.

"How are we supposed to find you again then?" Gar asks.

"I don't know." You shrug. "Rache's ESP or whatever?" Rachel offers a slight glare to you as you shrug and give her a grin. "That's kind of what it is." You mutter under your breath. "Whatever Rachel just used, use that. I'm gonna find Dick and if I can't, I know where they're gonna meet."

"Why do you know that?" Rachel asks.

"Because I know Jason and so does Dick. So I'm gonna go there if I have to." The casualness of your voice is not reassuring to Gar or Rachel.

"We're gonna try to find the Lazarus Pit then." Gar states, holding his head high as he crosses his arms.

"You're not gonna stop about that are you?" You ask slowly, giving Gar a slight glare.

"Nope." Gar offers you a smile right back which gets your rather cold exterior to crack just a little.

"Fine but can you promise not to mess with it...like don't take any water...liquid? From it, okay? Or have Rachel try to destroy it." You raise your brows at Rachel and then at Gar who starts to beam.

"Of course not." Gar nods his head once. "I just want to find it, learn more."

"Alright." You let out a sigh. "I'll change and head out. If we don't meet up and you don't hear from me before somehow, we'll meet back here at noon tomorrow, okay?"

"Sounds good." Rachel offers a soft smile. "Don't do anything stupid."

You let out a soft laugh. "Yeah, too late." You look back to Gar. "You guys don't do anything stupid." You smile cheekily at Gar before you turn on your heels. "Be careful!" You wave a hand as you leave the room.

You start your search near the tunnel system, hoping Jason will be there at least but he's not. The reality is that if Jason doesn't want to be found, he won't be. That little bit of information about him has you starting to really worry. It's probably nothing. Jason is probably just with Crane, getting information and saving his own ass. But, there's this small part of you that does wonder if he's preparing to go after Dick again. As much as you don't want it to be true, a part of your trust in him is gone. It's been ripped and torn to unrecognizable shreds. It's as if he took that trust and ripped it apart, baring his teeth with anger like a rabid bear and it can't be mended from that. It's not how it works. There is no fixing it. Just gaining something new and you are not there yet. That leaves you questioning his motives even if the beating between your ribs is telling you his intentions are only pure.

Finding Dick is of no use either. You don't even know where he would go. At least with Jason, you know he likes the school around the block from the library but he doesn't care for that library. He prefers the one near the shelter that houses mostly kids. He has his favorite gargoyle. Finding Jason, when he wants to be found, is easy but Dick? You have no clue where he would even go. He probably has places to go but you aren't sure of any of them which leaves you mostly wandering around until it gets closer to midnight.

By then, it's time to change and meet them at the spot. If nothing else, Dick will be there and you'll be able to tell him where Gar and Rachel are.

This is not how Jason wanted this to go. He wanted to meet up with Dick but with Crane having control of the entire city, he couldn't risk it. Too bad for Jason because Dick does not trust him. Dick has offered him no benefit of the doubt of this not turning into a fight and no part of Jason actually blames him even if he's mad. Of course, Dick doesn't trust him. Why would he? But Jason doesn't stop fighting him to try to explain anything and neither does Dick. Instead, the two of them fight, throwing punches and kicks. Dick uses the enigma sticks and Jason shoots at Dick a few times. It's turned into chaos.

Somehow the roles have flipped. Jason doesn't want to kill Dick but by the way Dick is fighting, Jason is scared Dick will fight him till the death and Jason doesn't want to die again...not yet. It leaves him with no choice. Fight harder, faster, better. Be better.

But Jason and Dick's attention is pulled away from each other.

"What the fuck are you idiots doing?!" You yell, fully suited up again and just walking up to see the chaos they're creating.

This does not look good. They shouldn't be fighting. If all Jason wanted to do was meet up with Dick, they shouldn't be fighting. Something went wrong and at this point, you aren't even sure who caused it this time. But by the way Dick snaps his attention back to Jason and smacks him with the stick, you almost wonder if it were Dick that started this.

Jason doesn't take it lightly, immediately stepping back into combat mode and firing a shot at him. You roll your eyes, pulling out your grappling hook and a knife. You aim the hook at Jason's feet and the knife at Dick before you fire and throw. The hook smacks Jason's feet, throwing his aim off while the knife's end hits Dick's arm with enough force to get him to drop his stick.

"Hello? What the fuck are you two morons doing?" You snap again.

"He started it!" Jason yells as he points at Dick like a child.

Dick snaps his attention back to Jason. "Me?!"

"You threatened to kill him again, Jason!" You yell at him. "Seriously, what the fuck is going on?!"

Jason spins to look over at you. You cannot believe he wanted to fight Dick again. Of all people, you have to know this is not what he came here to do tonight.

"I just wanted to fucking talk and he attacked me!" Jason points at Dick again.

"Gee, I wonder why Dick would attack someone who just threatened to kill him. It's a real brain teaser, Jay." You quip back but you roll your eyes and look over to Dick. "So...you gonna kill him now?"

"I saw him!" Dick defends as he points the stick at Jason once he picks it up. Are they both five? "At the PD." Dick clarifies. "He was on the roof when we came out. He was in on it!" Dick closes the distance between them and smacks him with the stick again.

Jason doesn't miss a beat in fighting back, not even bothering to explain that he was at GCPD to help. Of course, Jason isn't going to try to explain that now. You're just exhausted with these two. At some point, they need to learn how to communicate with words and you figure, maybe they can just fight it out for once. Maybe they need to just fight until they get tired. So, you cross your arms and decide you'll watch and try to intervene if it looks like they might actually kill each other.

Dick ends up disarming Jason entirely, sending him to the ground just as a crowd of civilians gather around to watch the show and that's when your stomach starts to sink. Jason will be fine but these people hate Dick. The fight turns into a violent hand-to-hand fight, the two of them throwing punches and kicks as hard as they can and going for the neck. Jason grabs Dick's neck, pushing him back but Dick grabs Jasn, throwing him over Dick's head and slamming him on his back onto the hard pavement. You wince at the sight and sound. Dick walks over and picks up one of Jason's guns before he goes back to Jason and stands right over him. Dick points the gun at Jason's head.

You're quick to run and stand over Jason. You look up at Dick. "Dude, put the gun down." You put your hands out in surrender, the gun aimed at your stomach. "You're not gonna kill him." Your voice doesn't waver even if you're not entirely sure if that's true anymore.

Would Dick kill him?

Jason doens't want to die. It feels wrong to be back. It feels wrong. Like he's stretching the universe too far and it's all going to snap back, straighten itself out and toss him back into the grave where he belongs. But today, at the hands of Dick Grayson? No. He is not dying tonight so he decides to taunt Dick. Even if Dick wants to kill him, he'll never do it. He'd never give Jason the satisfaction even if Dick were able to toss his morals to the side.

"I did this to you." Jason mutters.

"Shut the fuck up, so fucking help me." You look to the sky in annoyance.

"You did this to yourself." Dick points the gun past you, aiming at Jason again. You move to stand in front of the gun again.

You were just shot two days ago. As badly as it hurt and as bad as it still sucks now, you'll take the bullet if you need to. No one is dying tonight. You've all lost too many people already and this is over a miscommunication.

"Come on. Give me the fucking gun." You mutter. "You're not like us." You plead, locking eyes with Dick.

There's something about the way you say it that gains even Jason's attention. It's not pained or sympathetic, it's just honest. It's not remorseful even, just honest and candid. But it's sad with the smallest touch of desperation. It says everything Dick and Jason need to know about how you really feel about people killing other people.

Dick looks at the gun and back to you. He hands you the gun and you take it, removing the bullets immediately and tossing them before you bend down beside Jason to make sure he's okay. For a second, you really thought Dick just might pull the trigger.

"You okay?" You ask softly as Jason leans up on his forearms, his head and back throbbing from the impact.

Jason looks back at you, brows pinched tightly together but then he sees movement from the corner of his eye, grabbing his attention behind Dick. "Nightwing." Jason's voice is rough but stern, harsh. A warning. Jason's eyes widen with the slight nod of his head.

You follow his stare, seeing an innocent civilian aiming a gun at Dick. Dick's brows pull together but before he can turn around, the kid starts shooting. Lucky for Dick, the suit is bulletproof. The bullets bounce right off as Dick turns around. The gunfire comes to a stop as you and Jason watch from your spot behind him. The both of you start to worry, just a little because the suit might be bulletproof but the kid just needs one lucky shot for this to be catastrophic.

"Woah, easy. I'm not here to hurt you." Dick says, putting his hand out as he walks towards the kid.

You get to your feet first, offering Jason a hand up. Jason takes it but the two of you keep your eyes on the kid. Scared kid, a gun, a guy painted to be the enemy fighting the guy painted to be the hero. The air fills with dread, suffocating Jason with its bare hands tattooed with guilt and regret. It's his fault Dick is here. It's his fault he didn't just say what happened and what he wanted. None of these people should even be here. What is he supposed to do?

"Careful, put the gun down." Dick states.

Jason pulls out another gun, switching to new bullets. He's definitely not going to shoot a scared kid who thinks he's doing the right thing. But, he can shoot in that general direction, he can just use it as a threat if he needs to. He doesn't want to threaten the kid but if he has to he will. He did not come here to kill Dick, get Dick killed, or watch him die. Not tonight.

"What the hell are you doing?" You whisper to him.

"Being prepared." Jason mutters back.

Dick hears Jason and turns around to face him before he starts walking back toward you and Jason. Dick is on guard, feeling as if he can't trust Jason. The second his back is turned, Jason is reloading a gun. From Dick's perspective, Jason isn't done fighting and Jason poses more of a threat than the kid. So, he pulls out the enigma stick again.

Before Dick can reach you and Jason, the kid starts shooting again. Dick is blocking them but Jason pulls you behind him, blocking you from the few shots not even putting any thought into it. But, by the time the third shot rings across the stale air, it finally makes proper contact with Dick. The kid got lucky. The kid got lucky, sending the bullet into Dick's neck right above where his armor stops.

It's as if the entire scene falls into slow motion as you and Jason watch in horror as the blood spurt from Dick's neck. Jason's heart stops beating entirely as Dick's hand goes to his neck, trying to put pressure on the wound. Jason eyes the kid who doesn't even look surprised or sorry or fucking scared. He doesn't look scared. He should look scared.

Jason didn't feel scared killing all those people but if he weren't high, he would have at least felt something. There would have been some part of him that would have felt some sort of fear or remorse or pity or he would have had a thought questioning if it were the right thing to do. Is this really the last resort? He would have felt fucking something other than pride for a job well done. This kid does not look like any of those things. He looks like he just did something on a random Tuesday night. No remorse, no consequences. Just a thing he did.

What is the city turning into?

What has Jason turned this city into?

"I did it for you." The kid's wavered voice breaks the silence, shattering the slowed illusion.

Jason glances to Dick as he falls to the ground and then he looks back to the kid. This is not what he wanted. Crane, Jason, they convinced the public of this. That this was the right way. Jason may not have had a part in that video but it never would have been made if it weren't for him. The public is gonna get blood on their hands. This will clear up, somehow, someway, it will and now this innocent kid, has to deal with the death of someone on his own hands for someone who was masquerading around like a hero, like a savior.

"Red Hood." The kid states, this time the unsteadiness of his voice is gone. And then he starts chanting Jason's vigilante name, over and over and over again as the rest of the civilians join in.

You look at him with heartbreak before you run over to Dick, pushing him onto his back where you put your hand over the neck wound. How could this happen? Another person? Another fucking person? Dick was always right about Gotham. Maybe Bruce was right about Gotham.

Jason went into more detail about what Bruce said to him the day he took Robin away. Bruce had said something about how people lose themselves to the city. Maybe he was right. Maybe they go mad, maybe they turn into murderers, and maybe they die. But eventually, maybe everyone gets lost in the city of damaged hopes. And maybe Dick was right, too. This city takes and it changes people. It's as if this city needs the chaos of destruction in order to stay afloat and it waits in the shadows, just waiting for the perfect victim at the right time before it sinks its teeth into them. It bleeds them of all their good parts until there's nothing left. A perfect sacrifice for the city.

Maybe that's all Gotham is because Dick is bleeding out because some kid got fucking lucky with a gun.

Jason watches in horror and having everyone chant his name does not sound as good as he once thought it would. At one point, he thought having everyone cheer for him would feel good. He would be important but he just got his brother shot. Someone who has almost always just tried to help him. Jason has been out here trying to kill him and thanks to you, Dick was willing to trust Jason and give him a second chance but now he's just been shot and it's his fault. And he's going to die because of him.

Jason knows what it's like to die and it's fucking terrifying and painful. Tears brim his eyes and the crowd is still chanting and he sees your cheeks glistening in the low streetlights around you. He wanted to talk but when Dick attacked first, rightfully so, he just couldn't help it. He thought that it was over for him and maybe it didn't have to be. How the fuck did he get here again? He should have just surrendered. That's all he had to do but his ego and pride get in the fucking way. All he ever does is get in the way. Dick's gonna die and it's all his fault.

He wants to run, get out of here because it's all too much. Too loud, too heavy. Too much pressure. Everyone is cheering as if Jason pulled the trigger and killed the worst of the worst. They're brainwashed and Jason knows that better than anyone. Someone has to snap them out of it. It's too much but running and pushing has never done him much good.

"Get out here!" Jason yells over the crowd as the chanting slows down. Your attention, like the rest of the crowd, lands on him. "Go! Before I start fucking shooting." Jason aims the gun into the air, his arm steady and his eyes threatening.

"We're on your side!" One of the citizens announces.

"So do what I fucking say." Jason snips back. "Didn't ask for you fucking help here. Get out of here." Jason takes steps toward the crowd as they start to back away.

They grumble and mutter amongst themselves before they eventually disburse. Jason takes that as his cue to run up beside you, leaning over Dick. There's blood pooling out of his mouth as he gasps for air.

"I can't stop the bleeding." You state. "Think he hit the fucking artery."

"I got it." Jason mutters, slightly nudging you out of the way where he can replace your hands with his. You have had enough blood on your hands lately, this is on Jason.

Neither of you have ever seen Dick look scared or panicked. Surely, he feels it. He is human and normal, mostly. But, he's really good at hiding it. With Deathstroke, you didn't see the look of pure terror on his face when you were standing outside the window. You didn't see the look of horror and agony on his face as Jason was falling to his death. You didn't see it because Dick has always been good at making sure no one sees those emotions from him. He has to be strong, sturdy, and a little calloused in order for everyone else not to panic. If the leader looks panicked and scared, so will everyone else. If everyone is scared and panicked, mistakes are made and more people die. So, he hides it. Until now.

Dick can feel the blood loss taking over, making him light-headed. The blood loss and bullet wounds alone are making it harder to breathe. He knows how long he has, maybe minutes but nothing more. Not unless you or Jason can get some sort of help in the next few seconds. He's going to die and it is fucking terrifying. He isn't ready. He has too much left. Who is going to look after the Titans if he dies? Who's going to stop Crane? He has too much life to live, outside of the Titans to die tonight but he is helpless. There is no help and there is no hope. It's just him bleeding out in the middle of downtown Gotham.

"Get." Dick tries to pull in a breath. "Help."

You look around and you don't see a single person around. Your heart starts to break as the lump comes back to your throat. It destroyed you when Jason died and it destroyed you when your mom died. You're actually pretending like Tim survived just in case he didn't. You can't deal with it if he died, too. But, you look back at Dick and you're really scared he'll die.

You might fight with him all the time and disagree with him usually, but you have a lot of respect for him. He saved your life more than once. You might not like his morals but you think he is a good person and he tries a lot harder than anyone else ever would. To help innocent people. To help you, no obligation, no transaction, no contingencies. He helps you because he just does. Just like with Rachel and Gar, and despite what Jason thinks, you think that's why he tried to help Jason, too. Just because. It shouldn't be Dick to die. The Titans need him. He's a really good leader, usually. It's almost shocking but he is. And everyone trusts him. The Titans will fall apart if he dies. They practically fell apart when Donna died but Dick would kill them. The Titans need him. You need him.

Jason glances over to you, knowing this is going to be bad. He's not going to make it and by the look of devastation in your eyes, he knows you feel it, too. And then the throbbing under Jason's hands comes to a slow halt.

"Dick?" Jason questions, looking back at him. "Hey, man, stay awake." Jason holds his voice steady, careful not to let it slip how much this is ripping him to shreds. "I can't feel his pulse." Jason says quietly, glancing back to you before he pulls his hand away, trying a different spot but he still feels nothing.

"Keep your hands on the wound." You mutter, moving to the opposite side before you place your hands on his chest and start chest compressions.

Jason watches you, trying to keep his hands steady on the wound but with every ump, Jason can feel blood coming from the wound, warming his hands. The tip of Jason's nose starts to feel like it's on fire while his eyes feel like someone's just thrown sand into them. This cannot be happening. Dick is otherwise dead and he's got you doing CPR, just as you did the night Jason died. And Jason can't peel his eyes away from you as some sort of self-torture because he thinks this is probably similar to how you looked that night.

The hood of your suit falling off of your head, resting lazily on your shoulders and moving with every compression. The way your hair is a complete mess. Tear-stained cheeks shining against any light that they catch. And blood soaking your skin. Jason wonders if this is the exact sight Babs walked in on. You must have felt so alone.

"Dick!" You and Jason hear Gar's voice from across the pavement, wet footsteps picking up their pace. "What happened?" Gar yells as him and Rachel get closer to the two of you.

"He was shot." Jason states as you don't miss a single beat.

"He's not breathing." You rush with heaving breath.

"Are you sure?" Gar asks with glossy eyes.

You stop, feeling for a pulse and there's still nothing. "Positive." You continue chest compressions, looking to Rachel who falls to her knees beside you.

"Is there anything you can do?" Gar asks, looking at Rachel.

You stop, sitting back on your toes, to see if Rachel can use her powers somehow to save him. It might not have worked on Donna but maybe it could work on Dick. He hasn't been dead long. Maybe that matters and Jason and Gar seem to have the same hope. Jason pulls away while Gar keeps his stance steady, almost holding his breath as Rachel tries her powers, a purple glow coming from her hands over Dick's neck. But nothing comes from it. Instead, the purple fades as Rachel lets out a cry.

"It's too late." Rachel sniffles, looking to Gar.

Gar lets out a scream as tears start to fall from your eyes. Jason's eyes stay trained on Dick, almost distant as he thinks the pain of it all has just chewed him to pieces. What are you gonna do?

You look to Rachel who looks like she might break into a million pieces right in front of you. Gar yells again as bats crowd the space above all of you. The four of you look up, watching the bats circle around all of you. Gar starts to have problems with his eyes as he rubs them only for his face to start turning green and then his hands start to change until his body follows. Suddenly, Gar is a bat, flying with the others above you.

"Gar?" Rachel asks.

You, Jason, and Rachel get to your feet as the bats circle closer and closer to Dick, Gar right in the mix of them. You all back away as the bats fly down to Dick and start to pick him up, all of them working together. They fly Dick high into the air before they start moving.

"What...the....fuck?" You look to Rachel as she'll have some sort of answer.

"That's new, right?" Jason looks to you who just nods.

"Come on." Rachel says, without missing a beat, grabbing some of Gar's clothes before she starts following the bats and Gar.

You and Jason exchanged a confused look before deciding to follow. You both have absolutely nothing left to lose at this point.

"I thought he couldn't turn into anything else?" You ask as the three of you run to keep up with the bats.

"He turned ito a snake once." Jason answers, not even thinking.

He was possessed at the time and the reason Gar turned into a snake in the first place but Gar talked about it a lot at first. Jason tried to help him transform again, several times with different methods. Getting him mad, scaring him, sparring harder with him, they tried everything but nothing ever worked. And then Gar stopped talking about it.

"Yeah, once but now he's a bat?" You question. "What the fuck?"

"Is that really what you're concerned about right now?" Rachel asks, her voice torn between amusement and worry.

"I mean..." You suck in a breath. "It's better than the alternative. I would prefer to focus on the weird shit than the sad shit."

Rachel gives you a subtle glare as you keep up your fast walk. It's not a long walk before you all reach the entrance of a building and Rachel is the only one who understands what's happening.

"They're taking him to the Lazarus Pit." Rachel says as Gar and the bats take Dick into the building.

"What?" Jason almost demands as his steps come to a hard stop. "You found it?"

"Yeah." Rachel mutters softly, turning around to see Jason not walking and you standing a few feet in front of him.

He can't go in there. It feels wrong. How do you know Dick would want that? Would he want it? If someone were to have asked Dick before he died if this is what he wanted, would he say yes? Would he agree to it without knowing the consequences of being brought back? Would he be okay with the constant feeling of being pulled back to the dark where the Grim Reaper waits with a smile?

But Jason looks at you and Rachel, the two who Dick has saved. It's not his place to argue it. Dick hasn't been dead long. Maybe he won't feel the way Jason does. Jason was dead a few days. Maybe it's different. Maybe the Pit has different effects the longer someone is dead so it's not his place. Jason hasn't been on good terms with Dick in a few weeks, he doesn't get a say. But, he can't go in. The pull is too strong and his bones feel like they might vibrate and shatter right through his skin. He can't do it.

"You coming, Jay?" You ask softly as you close the distance between you. You thought maybe he'd want to see the thing that brought him back. It is fascinating. And maybe he could be there if it works for Dick. Maybe help.

"No." Jason shakes his head. "I'm going to Crane." Jason spits it out without thinking as he watches the shock consume your face.

"Do you think that's really a good idea?" Rachel asks as a wince almost consumes her entire expression.

Jason takes a step towards you and nods his head at Rachel before looking back at you. "I gotta try to fucking help. Maybe I can get Crane to spill with Dick dead. He won't know about the Pit."

He has to do this. Maybe he can convince Crane to give up some form of information. If the Pit can bring Jason back, it can bring Dick back. He's going to wake up in a few hours and now it's Jason's job to get him some answers so they finally put this whole thing out of its misery. He owes Dick that much.

"Are you sure?" You ask, eyes scanning his face as if fully convinced this is just him avoiding something.

Jason nods softly. "Yeah, go with them. We'll meet later." Jason offers something that's not quite a smile.

You don't like the idea but...maybe Crane will think Nightwing's death is on Jason's hands. Maybe that'll be enough for Crane to actually trust Jason just enough to offer some sort of information to him. It's the right thing to do.

"Okay." You nod reluctantly. "Be careful, yeah?"

"Always." Jason gives you the subtle smirk he always does before he nods and runs off in the opposite direction.

The two of you go into the building, following the way Gar and the other bats took as you run to catch up. You get to an open room where a glowing pool of blue liquid sits right in the middle of the room. Gar and the other bats hover above it, holding Dick's lifeless body.

"Gar, now!" Rachel yells as the bats start to lower Dick into the water.

Once Dick is lowered, the bats fly around until Dick is completely submerged and then they disburse. Besides Gar. You and Rachel sit at the edge of Lazarus Pit, just watching as it starts to bubble. This whole thing is weird but you can't help but feel just a little bit of hope. If it worked for Jason, it should work for Dick.

"You're not allowed to leave anymore." You mutter, keeping your eyes on the Pit.

"What?" Rachel shakes her head in confusion.

"You're not allowed to leave. Everything went to shit and you show up, find me and Gar and then the damn pit. You can't leave, Titans need you." You nod your head quickly as Rachel smiles softly, looking back to the pit.

Gar transforms back to himself and starts getting dressed. Once he has his pants on, he walks to the edge of the pit, standing opposite you and Rachel. He's blinking dramatically, having a subtle sway to stance as he tries to get his equilibrium back to normal.

"He's gonna make it, right?" Gar asks, looking at you.

Gar isn't sure how you would know but you're the one who's had more conversations with Jason than anyone. Jason might not know a lot but something about asking you gives Gar hope. Maybe you do know the Pit works every single time. Gar hopes it works like that.

"I don't know." You shrug. "Uh...J-Jason just said, uh, that someone put him in it and then he was alive. So..." You nod your head. "I-I guess if that's all there is...yeah. Jason was dead for a few days so..." You pull in a shaky breath.

"I can't believe he actually died." Rachel states, her eyes on the pit. She says it mostly out of hope that whatever happened with Jason to bring him back, will bring Dick back.

You glance to her before you pull your knees to your chest. You know it's because Rachel is finding all of this out for the first time while everyone else has had a few weeks to digest the news and fumble their way through the aftermath. But, no one can believe Jason not only died but then came back. It's the way it's talked about, how it's said in passing and so casually that you almost wonder if they're all just...fine with it. At the end of the day, Jason died. He died. That was something that happened and he remembers it. As someone who was nearly beaten to death, you know that was haunting. Is haunting. You can't imagine what dying is actually like. And how terrified he probably still feels. But, everyone else is...it's as if that aspect of it, doesn't matter. To some extent, you get it. You understand because he became Red Hood and decided to kill Dick. You understand because they didn't see it. But, it irks you anyway.

"Sorry." Rachel says quietly. "I didn't mean anything by it. I just meant that it's kind of crazy. Jason was reckless but I didn't think he'd actually get killed." Rachel explains calmly.

"No, it's okay." You shake your head. "You're just getting the news of everything and then Dick is killed. I get it, don't worry about it."

"Are you okay?" Gar asks, his brows knitted together in their usual state of worry.

"I'm fine." You look up to him with one stern nod. "Been here a few times, right?" You quip bitterly.

"That's why I asked." Gar nods his head.

"Yeah, I'm good." You sniffle. "Are you guys okay? I mean...it's Dick." You look between Rachel and Gar as if feeling you have no right to grieve him as much as them.

You've been at odds with Dick most of the time over the last few weeks. It doesn't seem fair for you to absorb any space for grief. It should be given to Rachel and Gar.

"No." Gar answers. "What're we supposed to do without him?" Gar's voice nearly shatters.

"We don't have to think about that because if it worked for Jason, it'll work for Dick." Rachel states with ease and you're not sure who she's trying to convince.

"Yeah." Gar says shortly.

"I think we need to force the batboys into therapy after this. Group and individual until they learn how to have a conversation." You groan, trying not to focus on Dick actually dying and not coming back from this.

"We all need therapy." Gar mutters as he comes to sit on the other side of you.

The three of you fall silent, just watching the pit with no idea how long this is supposed to take or if you'll even know if it works or not. This is definitely the pit but none of you know the logistics of it. For all you know, this isn't going to work or it could take hours or days. So, you just fall into silence, mostly thinking of everything that's happened.

It's haunting and sets reality into stone of the work you all do. Of couse, it was real the day Donna died. Wonder Girl was killed. It was real then, too. But, it was an accident. And then it was real when Jason died. But, it was Jason who was killed by The Joker. That was different. This is Dick though. He's the leader and even when he's wrong, he still knows what to do. He was Robin. He's Nightwing. He's not supposed to die and he did anyway. And it was by some kid with a gun. It wasn't The Joker or Two Face or Deathstroke. It was just some kid. A kid Dick would have protected but everyone turned their backs on the Titans over Crane. And Dick was killed for it.

What are you all supposed to do if this doesn't work? Just go back to San Francisco like nothing happened? That doesn't seem possible. It'll just feel cold and lonely.

Between the three of you sitting here, he's saved your lives more times than you can count. He is the older and annoying brother none of you really asked for. It's losing another family member. But...it hits a little different this time. So, the air around you feels like it's carrying bricks and the guilt of the entire world.

Jason, he's also still processing everything that's just happened. When he left to meet Dick, he knew he'd have to start talking immediately, given his own broadcast and conversation with Dick. But, then the flashbang went off and it's like it...triggered something in him where he just had to fight. He just had to. Something deep inside of him told him Dick would never let him explain why he did what he did. It's the immediate defensive mechanism and he knows it. But, he's on the way back to the manor and he's thinking that was just dumb. It was not giving Dick any bit of credit which Jason doesn't like to do on most days but he deserved this time. And now he's dead. He's dead and that's Jason's fault because that kid was defending him. Everything is his fault even when he is desperately clawing his way away from all of this. It follows him.

He told you that, months ago, it follows him like a curse and he has never been so sure of that. First it was his mom. He is not mad at her and he holds no resentment towards her but he wasn't enough for her. She chose those drugs every single day over him and he knows part of that was so she could function. That's how it started. It started so she could take care of him. If it weren't for him in the first place, his mom wouldn't have gotten addicted and then she'd still be here.

His dad was angry and desperate because he was just trying to provide for them. He was down and out and he was an ass and abusive but there was a point, before the alcohol, where he was trying. He was trying and if it weren't for Jason being an extra mouth to feed who needed other things, maybe his dad wouldn't have been so angry and desperate.

Had he never gone after Deathstroke, you wouldn't have been there. Had he never gone after Deathstroke, the Titans wouldn't have left and the tower wouldn't have been attacked or the Titans would have fought together. Gar wouldn't have been kidnapped and turned into a killer. Donna wouldn't have died.

You wouldn't been traumatized had he never went after the Joker. You wouldn't have been shot. Dick wouldn't have been shot and killed. Hank wouldn't have been killed. Everything that's happened has been following right on his heels like a rabid dog chasing him down a dead end alley. There is no escape. He is just stuck in this constant spiral of agony and causing everyone else around him the worst pain they will ever experience.

This is all his fault and there's nothing he can do anymore.

Even if the Pit works, will Dick remain the same? Or will he be as terrified and traumatized and stuck as Jason? Whatever side effects Dick gets from the Pit, that has to fall on Jason, too.

Jason reaches the Batcave, the cuts from Dick's punches still bleeding over his face. Crane is dragging his scythe on the floor, his face covered in fresh cuts. He's got this evil and eerie smile while there's a body on a table, cut open with his organs sticking out. This is the first time he's ever felt terrified of Crane. At the hospital, it wasn't Crane Jason was worried about it. It was who would call in. But this? This is Crane losing his damn mind on some, likely, innocent person and Jason thinks his days are definitely numbered with him. Everyone's days are numbered with him.

"Nightwing's dead." Jason states, his words flat and pained.

"Batman saved my toy." Crane says but it's only slightly enthusiastic, almost childlike as he holds up the scythe by the chain. Crane lets out a light chuckle as Jason just watches him closely, ready to move if Crane tries to pull anything. "A trinket of our courtship together. Who would have thought he was so...sentimental."

Jason's eyes narrow as he watches Crane. All of this...over his scythe? Jason knew he was insane but he's really pushing the envelope tonight.

"Did you hear me?" Jason questions but with no venom or snark. His chest is in so much agony, he doesn't think he can muster it at this second. "I said Nightwing is dead!" Jason gets himself to yell, growing frustrated.

"So?" Crane states. "Wasn't my monster." Crane states plainly but not in the way where his words feel light. This time there's something heavy and dark in his tone, running a chill up Jason's spine. The scythe drops to the floor, Crane still holding it by the chain. "He's your monster. What do you want? A cookie?" Crane offers a half-assed chuckle, mostly to himself.

A fire starts erupting through Jason's blood like an overdue volcano. He can't be serious. Getting clean, Jason realizes that so much of the shit Crane was spilling was just him manipulating him, making sure Jason had no one to run to besides Crane. But, there's some part of him that is still hurt and disgusted by the reaction. It was Crane's idea.

"You said that's what you wanted." Jason argues softly, taking just a few steps toward Crane. "When it was done, we would save Gotham my way." Jason's voice is small as the sense of betrayal kicks in.

He is only here to find out what Crane has planned and then he's gone. But, he can't help how badly it hurts. It would hurt anyway because he was manipulated into it. Turned against someone who has been looking out for him. But, Jason, as far as he knows, felt like Crane figured they were still on the same side. This doesn't feel that way. That's when Jason is realizing that's the point. Jason does the dirty work so Crane can be up at the top, hands clean and filled with the power Jason served him on a silver platter.

He knew that's all it was but maybe a part of him still believed otherwise and for the life of him, he has no idea why.

"Gotham will be saved." Crane starts his walk towards Jason, holding his scythe so it doesn't drag on the floor. "But first, it must be destroyed. As clever hopes expire, waves of fear and anger circulate over the bright and darken the lands of the earth." Crane explains as he uses the chain to sway the scythe back and forth while he paces in front of Jason.

"What the fuck kind of gibberish is that?" Jason quips back not even entirely sure if Crane is actually coherent.

"No," Crane says quickly, turning to face Jason. "No, not gibberish. No, it's the past come to life in the present." Crane pauses and Jason realizes how completely fucked he is. "An ode to the bat and his wee bird. When they stopped me, but they can't stop me now. No." Crane is looking away from Jason and Jason is starting to wonder if Crane is talking to him or just talking to himself or some third person Jason isn't aware of. "They can't stop me now...because." Crane shakes his head. "Because we will walk among them. The dead." Crane looks back at Jason and Jason hangs his head, something about him basically being the dead. "And the fallen city will be like...it'll be like a beacon. Very soon, very soon, Jason, very very soon they will die. Yes, they will die."

What the hell is this maniac even talking about?

"Who will die?" Jason asks cautiously.

"All of them!" Crane faces Jaosn as he screams, his entire face turning red. "All of them! Everybody." Crane looks to the floor and this is not how Jason wanted to fix Gotham. The answer isn't gutting the fucking the city. "You still stink of fear. After all that I've given you."

Jason's growing tired of Crane's babbling. It's not making any sense and he wants to get the fuck away from him before Crane tries to slice him in two like the other guy.

"You said I was gonna be a savior." Jason nods his head at him, a hint of disgust in his voice. "Is that your whole plan? Destroy the fucking city?"

"Is that not what it's been about?" Crane states almost whimsically.

"And how the fuck do you plan to do that?" Jason lets out a scoff but Crane just offers him a harsh glare as Jason sees his grip tighten on the chain.

Crane isn't going to tell him anything and even if he does, it'll likely be an incoherent mess like it has been the last few minutes. It was a waste of time, mostly. What Jason does know now is that he wants to destroy the entire city. There are a lot of ways to do that though and that's where he finds himself stuck. But, he can't stick around here. Not when there's no chance of getting a good answer.

"I won't help you destroy the city." Jason holds his stance, firm but calm.

"Well," Crane says with disappointment. "Perhaps you won't." Crane says before there's a pause and then he turns around quickly, throwing a scythe at Jason, still holding onto it by the chain.

Jason dodges just in time, moving quickly away from Crane. Crane follows right after him, swinging his scythe at him and just missing by a few inches. Jason keeps moving away and running, avoiding the blows each time. He does not want his head taken off tonight. That is not the plan. So, he dodges and once he sees the opportunity, he runs out of the Batcave as quickly as he can.

Crane has officially lost it which was only a matter of time before that happened. Jason was hoping they had a little bit more time but, if Crane is losing it, that means he'll be easier to take down. Once Crane starts losing his mind, he gets distracted, starts losing some of the quick thinking he's so proud of. But, Crane has something in place. It's the way he talked about it that tells Jason Crane won't need to do anything else. It's already in motion. So, now he needs to find at least you, Rachel, and Gar and maybe the four of you can figure it out. Maybe you've had some luck with the Lazarus Pit.

Jason hopes you've had luck with the Lazarus Pit.

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[kerubimcrepin]

What do we know about Joris le Sans-Pouvoir (Joris the Powerless)?

Aka, addressing the "cancelled Nintendo DS game"-shaped elephant in the room.

While this blog has gone deep into the show and character dissections, I think it would be remiss to proceed without addressing the elephant in the room — the game, the myth, the legend, the 2007-2009ish cancelled game Joris le Sans-Pouvoir.

There isn't a lot that is known about it, and all the data in this post comes from two developers.

The only videos of it we have available are uhhh......,

...Please say "Thanks Ronik!" for this video in particular.

I spent hours trying to convert these two SWF animation video files, — which demonstrate how the game was supposed to look, — to something actually viewable. There were many issues, with at least seven different programs.

I suffered for crepinjurgenology studies, but I did it.

Instead of recounting the story in my own words and omitting anything on accident, I will simply present to you, what the portfolios of two different developers say (these two pages are the source of all the images, gifs, and gameplay):

Joris Le sans-Pouvoir is the main character from a feature film Ankama due in 2013. It’s a new character IP situated in the DOFUS universe. I had the chance to work on a platform game prototype that was all about delving into of the character’s backstory. We wrote a lot of background and had a lot of fun designing and developping a cute and quirky platformer with a hint of metroidvania elements and a dash of Grow gameplay elements in-between levels. It also was a great opportunity to work with Jono Takeshi-san of Radiata Stories fame who worked with me on the art direction. (SOURCE)

Joris was the first Nintendo DS project developed at Ankama (in partnership with Magic Pockets). I began working on the project as narrative game designer, then took on the role of Lead Designer and Project Manager. Game design on this project involved boss fight, level design, minigame design, UI… I also designed an original collecting system where collectible items were used in a minigame inspired by the “Grow” series. The developpement has been put on hold to match the release of the animated movie with the same character (scheduled in 2013). (SOURCE)

Neither the movie nor the game, survived their development, due to circumstances. (shorthand for: I have no idea what happened, man. Maybe one day I'll write a post about the history of the movie, and truly open that can of worms, but god, not right now. I don't want to spend more time on this.)

Eventually, The Wakfu film turned into three OVAs instead, and the Dofus film changed its plot a bunch of times, and became Livre 1 : Julith.

...For some reason, in some version of it, Joris had a tail. Yeah, I don't know what that's about either. Cool clothes, though!

We don't know anything about its plot, and unlike cancelled projects Dofus Donjons and Welsh et Shedar (which was cancelled for years, until its recent resurrection), the lore of this game carries no relevancy in modern canon.

The name, Joris the Powerless, as well as the log-centric gameplay, both seem to reference the early concept that Joris had log-based powers, — and that without his "magic wand," he couldn't do much.

(Joris and his weird fucking "magic wand" were, in turn, borne out of the idea of a warrior who had a woman's voice. Which makes me chuckle.)

(The following quotes are machine-translated and may contain errors)

(SOURCE)

This is, by the way, the reason why I personally headcanon Joris to be really bad at huppermagic. So bad that he dropped out of the Huppermage Academy, and almost never uses magic in combat. It's a homage to his original idea.

(Yes, there is an actual reason why I headcanon Joris to be godawful at magic, besides just projecting my neurodivergencies onto him.)

I suppose that, even at this time, Joris was meant to be a store owner:

The gameplay loop involves going from boutique, to missions, and so on, while those two pieces of concept art involve the said boutique section, and show a female character saying «Pas mal, boss !».

In my opinion, it might be this character. Proto-Simone, perhaps?

Since the store seems to be the centerpiece, and the Grow-style minigames involved collectibles, I would assume that the plot involved Joris going around and finding artifacts for the store. That would also explain the concept art gifs of him adventuring.

(Though, the adventuring would probably just be the inciting incident/a vehicle for plot development. Nintendo DS games loved using the jobs characters did for that purpose.)

This is the extent of what I can surmise about the plot.

The developer portfolios also included these example documents, but the image quality is too bad for me to make sense of or upscale. I am including them here solely for some French people who are very good at reading blurry text. (If you learn anything, let me know, okay?)

Overall, my verdict is that this game's cancellation was both a blessing (Joris without Kerubim and Atcham is like tea without water and a cup. How am I meant to drink leaves? Are you stupid? Why are you giving me leaves with nothing?) and a curse (THEY CANCELLED A GAME ABOUT MY BLUE-COLORED YOINKY SPLOINKY (who has a THIN, GRABBABLE WAIST)????? FUCK!)

Hope this was a fun read!

[ghostieblotts]

Hello hi hold everything. I was scrolling through your blog and kept getting hit in the face with vague allusions to a TOTK SAF AU????? Which sounds utterly delightful + heartbreaking??? Spill the tea what’s up with that

AHA HI. Okay so I haven't got around to properly posting about it yet because I have been working on it behind the scenes for the most part, lots of yapping in dms with like 3 other people (<3) and writing bits and pieces of fics that I am hoping to edit a bit and post eventually. However I have been unable to stop myself from mentioning it publicly because they live RENT FREE IN MY HEAD AT ALL TIMES.

I haven't got a full cast yet bc there are too many characters in Zelda and I am mostly focused on Curtwen for the purposes of the au, so most characters are literally just their original versions for now. But! The core of the au is that Curt is Link and Owen is Zelda. Other castings include Tatiana as Sidon, Barb as Purah, Cynthia as Impa, the Informant as a fusion of Yunobo and Penn, and Sergio as Hudson.

The plot is basically the same as canon botw and totk, I just break my own heart by making it Curtwen. Probably the biggest difference is that I'm making them older at the start of the story than Link and Zelda are in the original (I am Not making them 16/17, it isn't happening), and the span of time between Curt being assigned as Owen's knight and the Calamity breaking out is also longer than in canon (probably at least a year, potentially more).

Lots of angst with Owen desperately trying to awaken a sacred power bestowed by a goddess that will never answer his prayers, lots of pain with Curt dying in Owen's arms and being resurrected without his memories, lots of me crying because *gestures incoherently at the entire plot of TotK*. But also them getting to have some fun romance cliches with royal balls, and them getting to live in a cottage in Hateno Village together and slowly get to heal from the hell that their shared destiny has put them through.

The whole thing kind of exists because of the opening scene of totk. Owen falls, and Curt fails to save him, and he spends the entire rest of the plot trying to cope with and atone for that failure. He's haunted by images of Owen, constantly chasing him, being forced to ask if Owen is the one behind all the chaos going on, and eventually finding that the truth was hanging over him all along and might be even harder to bear.

I think I do have one proper post about them which was for an ask game a while back, which you can find here.

Uhhhh yeah. I'm inconsolable about them, honestly. I wrote a version of the "Tears of the Dragon" cutscene for this au which is maybe a bit naff but was very fun so maybe I will post it someday when I have more time.

Thank you so much for asking about it though!! People being interested in my aus gives me life <3

[bonefall]

Now this had me thinking... Would Willowpelt die in the same way as canon (although to another creature im assuming since bb!badgers aren't as dangerous as they are in canon)? If she's getting kept around longer, maybe Cricketclaw is the one who sacrifices herself instead? That sounds like a fitting way for her to go, considering she couldn't protect her own siblings?

I feel like I should add a TM to anything that I'm working on in my drafts that has significant progress and is blog-plot-relevant, that will explain something exactly like this LMAO

Forgive me I am, at heart, a bear that eats half a salmon and then forgets I had a fish at all

Willowpelt's brush with death is staying, and is actually a bit plot relevant in Firestar's Quietus! I have a very specific scene which is actually totally written out-- actually fuck it, I'll just post it here

Context and narrative purpose of this scene:

Firestar is informed of a boar on the territory, and gathers a little scouting patrol to try and figure out what sort of hog it is.

VERY IMPORTANT SEGWAY. Because of how Willowpelt gets bitten here and Firestar loses a life saving Sorrelpaw, they all end up in the Cleric's den where Ferncloud is telling a story both to practice her new job as upcoming Educator and to comfort everyone.

The fact Willowpelt is not dead is how I get Littlecloud away from Runningnose and Firestar

Runningnose has a hunch, in this moment, that goody two-shoes little Firestar might be the perfect person to help Brokenstar, and teases the visions and revelations he's about to have

Establishes that boars are the new Big Bad Beastie of BB

Presents Sorrelpaw's epilepsy and demonstrates how it is a danger to her safety

(this is a lot of buildup but this is actually pretty short lmao)

So anyway before I let you go on to the readmore and a preview of Firestar's Quietus, no one takes Willowpelt's death here, and Willow is going to hang on for longer. I wanted to make sure I have a good amount of cats to kill off in the carnage of the White Hart's destruction.

Wherever Cricketclaw dies, it will be for a purpose. Either to show how bloody the TNP conflicts are, or in a greencough epidemic because I'm trying to make sure those aren't just "Kill a bunch of randos offscreen" disease anymore.

WILLOWPELT'S BOAR

The patrol is Sandstorm and Sorrelpaw, Willowpelt, Longtail and Sootpaw, and himself. It's just supposed to be for scouting, hence why the apprentices are coming along.

Unfortunately the hog has other plans, lunging out of a bush and going for Sootpaw

Willowpelt jumps in the way and gets bitten instead

Sorrelpaw acts quick, slashing its sensitive nose, drawing its attention and bolting as fast as she can

RIGHT as she crosses the Thunderpath, her body goes limp and she falls to the ground

She is having an absence seizure, and fallen flat on the road

The hog is hot on her heels, bowling after her, when a monster screeches to a halt out of nowhere

The hog is frozen in the headlights, Firestar bursts into action to pull Sorrelpaw out of the road

(i hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums) BUMP BUMP

The boar and Firestar have been hit by, have been struck by, an automobile

When he sees StarClan, they're about to greet him with love. But their faces turn to shock and fear, the scenery becoming sinister and trees falling down.

A fifth oak tree is crashing down towards them. Firestar stares at it, dumbstruck.

Just before it strikes him, his eyes snap open

Firestar resurrects with a burst of energy, dragging Sorrelpaw off the road and into the safety of a fern on the ShadowClan side

The humans are coming out of the car to examine the boar they struck, but Firestar doesn't have time to consider that or his vision.

Littlecloud's head pokes out of the foliage and he springs into action, checking them both for injury. Breathless, Firestar points behind him and rasps, "Willowpelt!"

Littlecloud nods and bolts across the road.

Runningnose saunters out from a different angle-- one where he would have been able to see the road. Everything that happened.

His gaze is unsettling as ever, pausing, eyeing the leader up and down.

He starts tending to Sorrelpaw, then mumbles,

"Brave of you."

"It's what any leader would have done."

"No. It's what you always do."

Firestar doesn't know how to respond to that, but he's glad Runningnose isn't staring at him anymore.

But continues, "You will learn terrible things in the days to come, Firestar, and StarClan will not answer the questions that find you. If you seek the truth, meet me by the mothermouth on the night after the next gathering."

Sorrelpaw is leaning up now, her eyes dazed and confused, as if she's trying to figure out what happened.

[spoiled-girlie-in-training]

On "Being the Main Character"

So, as a spoiled girlie (or one in training), a lot of people will be telling you that you're the main character. I'm not here to disagree with that fact. What I am here to remind you of is that being the main character comes with a bit of a catch.

Think of the main characters in media you've consumed. The hero in a novel you read, the lead role in a movie, the playable character in a video game, etc. All of them are the main characters in their respective worlds. Things work out for them more than others, the world revolves around them, and, usually, they're attractive as can be.

What makes them the main characters, though? In my opinion, there's an important defining feature that can be identified.

They have accepted that they are ready and willing to change for the better.

In the traditional Hero's Journey (a story analysis method popularized by the book "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" by Joseph Campbell), the hero follows a series of checkpoints that are universal across cultures. Those checkpoints are...

The Ordinary World

The Call to Adventure

Refusal of the Call

Meeting the Mentor

Crossing the Threshold

Tests, Allies, and Enemies

Approach to the Innermost Cave

The Ordeal

The Reward

The Road Back

The Resurrection

Return with the Elixir

I want to focus here on sections 1-5, because, as Spoiled Girlies TM, we need to experience these steps.

The Ordinary World is the first step, and focuses on who our character (or ourselves) is prior to any change to their everyday. We see the main character living a mundane life. For some main characters, they are happy with their world. For others, they are at wit's end. Either way, these main characters are in for a rude awakening.

Next, the main character receives The Call to Adventure. This can come in the form of a letter, a chance meeting, or maybe even something as dramatic as losing someone dear. As spoiled girlies, for a lot of us, this comes with realizing that our current way of life isn't working. This comes with sensing something is wrong with our lives and trying to identify what on earth it could be.

Third step: Refusal of the Call. This is the step that many, many potential spoiled girlies get stuck in. In some stories, we see the main character enter denial ("This can't be real", "Nothing needs to change", "I'm going to ignore this until it goes away", etc.) Some spoiled girlies get stuck in this cycle, believing that they have no need to improve themselves. They convince themselves that the problem is with the world alone, and as a result, they end up delusional and self-sabotaging themselves. Most spoiled girlies, however, go to the other major way the Call gets Refused; misidentifying the problem. In many stories involving the supernatural, we see main characters misidentifying magical visions as need for psychiatric intervention. We see the medium thinking that they're hallucinating, the telepath assuming they're "just hearing things", the witch assuming they're "just lucky", etc. Spoiled girlies do a version of this too; we see the way others treat us and assume we are at fault....and thus deserve it. The medium would have their problems solved if they found another medium to mentor under. The same with the witch and the telepath. Spoiled Girlies often see the issue is there, blame themselves, and wallow in it due to lacking the proper guidance, assuming they deserve the treatment and thus, ignoring the Call.

The next step is the key step here; Meeting the Mentor. I am, by no means, claiming myself to be a 'Mentor' to anyone...but this blog is meant to be a step in helping those who need one find one. For our traditional heroes, this is where they find that person to mentor under I mentioned in The Call. For spoiled girlies, this is the step where we find online communities. Where we learn that, while cycles of mistreatment ultimately come down to us to break, it isn't our fault others took advantage of us instead of helping us learn. It's where we learn to see that we have potential. It's where we see that there's a path to self-improvement and enlightenment that can get us out of this rut we've been stuck in.

Finally, the step that we all should aspire to; the Threshold. This is where we take the plunge. This is the part where Dorothy begins down the Yellow Brick Road, where Katniss enters the Hunger Games, where Hazel visits the support group, where Dante begins his ascent. It is here that we begin the true work of our journey. Crossing the Threshold is both aspirational and inspirational (as it should be). Your threshold might be seeing a therapist for the first time to help with your mental state. It might be walking into the gym for the first time to feel healthier (because going to the gym is about bettering how you feel in your body, not losing weight, babe). It might even be removing someone who isn't a good fit for your life anymore. Whatever your personal Threshold is, it's important to take that leap and cross it.

My point to bringing this all up is that being the main character takes work. If you want to be the main character, you have to try and grow. The growth might come slowly, and it might sometimes be a few steps forward, a few more steps back. That's totally okay. After all, what do you think the other 7 steps of the Hero's Journey are for?

Whatever step you're on, wherever you might be at in your journey, I hope you manage to cross the Threshold, babe. I'll be here on the other side waiting for you. <3

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 15 thoughts

life is so fun when there is mulder and scully time to look forward to <3

(post episode thoughts: not sure how i feel about this one. i definitely didn’t hate it, don’t get me wrong, but it was really sad and after last week’s sad episode i’m ready for some happy times. i’m also trying to figure out what exactly the meaning of this episode was because there’s a detail in there that really threw me off- i shall elaborate late.

nonetheless, i thought it was an interesting ep…. just saddened the heart, and i’m trying to parse out the meaning of the whole thing. maybe that detail of which i speak was just a throwaway line and i’m overthinking everything? this has been known to happen.

but, please keep in mind: i am not an expert on all things, including jewish culture- which could perhaps explain my interpretation of the episode/confusion on its overall theme- and if i made any mistakes please feel free to point them out, but understand that they were not made intentionally and that i am merely a fan blog who is living, laughing, loving, and learning each day)

i’m so excited to see what happens next after such an amazing episode last time!! and i know better than to expect a direct continuation of that storyline. BUT a girl can hope! we covered some pretty important territory in the previous one, so to pretend it didn’t happen wouldn’t make a ton of sense- but that is usually how these things go lol

(author's note: this is exactly how things went)

also, i know a lot of people headcanon mulder as jewish, so i’m interested to see what the episode brings/if i will also be sold on the hc! i’ve definitely subscribed to it up until now, so i’m interested to see if it’ll convince me more.

without further ado…

we begin with a man praying in hebrew in new york. sadly, we are at a funeral. everyone is in black. but the way this camera is especially focused on this woman in black is leading me to believe that she is gonna be the star of the episode.

we see, through her eyes, someone being terribly attacked. she is crying as she throws some dirt onto the coffin.

we also see that the man holding her hand has numbers tattooed on his arm, which implies he is a holocaust survivor, and makes this hate crime in america all the more horrific for him to have experienced.

i would guess that this man is maybe lead woman in black's father? he is leading her away from the funeral :(

at the cemetery in the rain, we see someone making a human form out of mud? dirt? clay? actually. what is the line between mud and clay? never thought about that. not the point, though. the mud clay dirt man begins to breathe!

this must be the golem referred to in the episode description…

(spooky intro time…. always a nice ritual for me)

so, the man who was murdered was named isaac luria, scully lets us know. he was from an area of brooklyn known for racial tensions and hate crimes, two of which mulder recites off the top of his head. he is the type of guy to recite facts.

the only thing that was taken from the market where the crime went down was the surveillance tape, which was found in the VCR of a 16 year old tony.

(was that guy we saw earlier doing the shooting supposed to be 16? because he looked 25 at the youngest. yeah, hard to suspend my disbelief in that regard, having a memory of what being 16 was like)

oh! the twist is… tony is dead now! strangled to death while watching the tape. mulder says this is “very old testament”.... interesting choice of words there

and the fingerprints of the strangler WERE THAT OF isaac luria!!! mulder seems greatly intrigued by this. has me wondering how that would go down.

scully is convinced that it is a resurrection hoax, and they must figure out how someone got a dead man’s fingerprints. mulder makes some joke about casper never leaving behind fingerprints. well casper was a FRIENDLY ghost, so maybe that is the difference! casper was not intended to be a creature of revenge. actually, i could be wrong there. haven't seen the movie since i was a kid.

the agents are off to new york, and i was right, that man we saw before was the crying woman’s father. his name is jacob weiss and hers is ariel luria.

scully looks so pretty :(

it seems they’re holding shiva, and showing up with a request to reopen luria's grave is not welcomed. understandably so!

apparently jacob had called the police before the attack, who had said they were paranoid. mulder asks “so there was a specific threat of violence?” and he answers “the threat is always there” <- damn….

then he hands mulder a flyer that was slid under their door with some horrible antisemitic stuff on it that actually made me flinch

jacob seems to slip that he knows who did the murder… but refuses to cooperate. and after they explain that they can get the court to order them to dig the body back up, ariel says to do what they need to, but to please leave them alone.

and from her perspective, it does seem like mulder and scully are just here to stir up trouble- it sounds like they’re trying to protect the murderers, and like they want to make her suffer by digging her husband back up, but i’m wondering if saying “we found your dead husband’s fingerprints on the boy’s corpse” would go over even worse

(they also keep looking at that one guy tony that did the murder and calling him a “boy” as if to emphasize his youth. but again. he looks like 25, so. maybe should have cast someone else if that was the point they wanted to make)

agents in the raaaain going to the car. scully oh my GOD she’s so beautiful. so so so so so so SO beautiful. 

she thinks that jacob doesn’t want them messing with the grave because it will somehow reveal who did the killing of tony. i’m not sure i buy it. sorry scully. he would be too obvious.

mulder pulls the horrible pamphlet out of his pocket and says that whoever published it probably knows who killed isaac AND tony. how tight knit is the community of people who print hateful pamphlets to slide under doors? something i have genuinely never asked myself but now i’d like to know. 

omg!!!! someone covered in dirt is watching them!!! did the golem turn into a person? why did i think he was going to stay made of mud? this is definitely a dirty man and not a mere man of dirt! and he has a mark on his hand

OHHHH some horrific antisemitism from the guy who they are questioning, later revealed to be named curt. oh my god???? he says mulder “looks like he might be one” and that the FBI “works for them” and blah blah blah

what the hell…… sometimes i forget that people spouting such horrific stuff are people with faces and names……… you might read it in awful internet comments, but you forget those are Real Human People who are saying those words. at least, sometimes i do. perhaps that was also the point of including him, to personify this hatred.

it seems that one of the boys who did the killing is watching all of this go down through the surveillance camera in curt's shop. mulder makes a snappy comment about a jew coming back from the dead 2,000 years ago in response to whatever tf this dude’s name is (again, later revealed to be curt, do NOT get him confused with kurt with a k from last episode) being a dick about the resurrection allegations involving luria. and scully says well i assume you don’t want to be responsible for these young men dying! and they leave.

ooooo mulder tells him “bless you” as he leaves…. he is gonna mess w this guy. and i appreciate that.

but gasp… the "kid" has disappeared from the back room!

now why is this kid hanging around with this older man? and why is he killing people? there are a LOT of questions here. if i’m supposed to care if he gets taken by the golem… i simply don’t. 

the two surviving boys (who again, look older than me, a person above the age of 16) are digging up luria’s grave to see if he really did rise from the dead. but oh no! someone is watching them!!

damn, one of the killer children is dead. oh nooo i’m so sad (said with deep sarcasm)

the other one finds luria’s body just as the killing goes down, and luria appears very dead. the surviving one is being taken by the cops???

scully at the scene. looking at the dead kid. seems he was also strangled. 

scully says maybe they came to desecrate the corpse? but mulder says they were probably scared he came back from the dead. hmm.

they’re trying to figure out what exactly is going on when mulder pulls a book out from under dead isaac’s head and it catches on fire!!! what!!! how did that happen!!!!

the creep from the copy shop is clocking in. the last surviving kid (? i think idk they all look the same? unless someone else came back from the dead?) is saying he killed the man because he didn’t sit back and just spread propaganda like this guy curt does. 

well. that is a sharp reminder of how hate speech leads to hate crimes.

the book that was burnt is being analyzed. it’s the book of creation, the sepher yetzirah- but this is not something that a jewish person is buried with! no worldly possessions are allowed in the grave. so how did it get there???? did they decide to make a special exception to the rule or something?? and if so, for what purpose?

“has it ever been known to spontaneously combust?” <- LMAO mulder i know you’re being serious but 😭

scully’s talking scientific theories on chemicals making books blow up, but he is not buying it at all. keeps questioning the book guy.

oh! someone’s name is on the book!! JACOB WEISS!!! what!!!!

now i bet that someone planted that there…..

so they go back to the weiss household. ariel is very sad to hear about her father's book being at the scene, as you can imagine. 

oh wait….ariel and isaac never actually got married…. omg this changes things……… wait. now it's even sadder. and it was already really sad :(

she’s showing them a ring that every woman married in the synagogue wears, that her father had hidden during the war. mulder looks really really really upset by all of this. 

scully asks where ariel’s father is, but ariel promises he wouldn’t kill anyone. well. that doesn't exactly answer the question

agents rolling up to the synagogue. everyone must have had a lot of questions as to what the duo in trenchcoats were up to.

it seems jacob exited out a back door? it’s investigation time….

OMG the last kid has been hanged!! someone is running away from this!!!!!!!!! everything is dark and i cannot see. 

NOOO mulder is down…. and scully is down too, but she fired a shot off…. at jacob???? that was who was down here?? hmm i’m not buying it. seems too easy. 

aha! that dirt covered hand is also at the scene!

ariel is at the jail asking to see her father. and scully seems very sad to inform her that he is under arrest. 

mulder’s asking jacob why he killed him. jacob says that the kid was up in the attic and he defended himself. by hanging him? hm.

he seems shocked that his book was at the crime scene, and professes his guilt, but mulder isn’t buying it. he says someone else was up there in the attic and WHO WAS IT?

mulder picks some dirt off of his sleeve…. suggesting he is onto him….

it seems that jacob had bombed people back in israel 1959? wait. if that was the case, then how did he get to new york… 

(this line confused me greatly, because what did it add to the story? it felt like it had Implications that just. were not explored)

“he’s not our killer, though” “what do you mean? i… he just gave a confession, i stood here and listened to it” <- she sounded so shocked lmaoooo

mulder launches his second person in the attic theory. couldn’t have been the daughter. because the person shoved mulder down. mulder is big strong man.

OH! jacob says he confessed to protect ariel. omg it’s clicking… she must have used the book to make the golem, and he is taking the fall for the golem’s actions. 

the print shop guy is printing more of his horrible pamphlets and oh my god he has a nazi flag on his wall…. jesus. it’s always such a visceral jumpscare to see those. something is approaching him…… and choking him…. and the hand is dirty and has the same mark as before!!

mulder is going back to talk to the book guy to ask about the sepher yetzirah and the golem. book guy explains that it was believed a righteous man could make a man himself out of mud or clay (mud or clay! used interchangeably here! this does not help me figure out what the difference between them is), but it could only be brought to life by the power of the word. certain letter combinations. you put the word on the hand and bam.

mulder says he doesn’t speak hebrew, so he doesn’t know what emet means, but omg!!! it means truth!!! the truth…… it haunts him

apparently the golem is imperfect and must be destroyed by its creator. which you do by erasing the first letter to turn “emet” into “met”, which means dead. 

scully phone call time!! curt (the printing man) is dead (well. if i'm supposed to be sad. i'm not)

more strangling….. but at least we know that this time it wasn’t jacob that did it, because he was still in jail

they look onto the surveillance footage and gasp! it looks like the killer is isaac luria!! so did the golem take his form??? huh. that's creepy.

luria is again confirmed as very much dead, so mulder must explain his theory.

“a ghost is spirit without form, but i believe what we’re looking for and what we’re seeing here is form without spirit” <- i want him to make a compilation of his worldview so bad just so i can read it 

(indignant scully voice) "MUD?!?" <- lmaooooo she never gets used to his ideas 😭 

back to ariel’s… which is suspiciously unlocked. wherever she is, she has the ring!!!

at the synagogue, jacob is there with a candle. he’s also looking for ariel. 

ariel says to “leave us alone” WHO IS US?? the golem???! but jacob won’t leave without her.

what she brought back isn’t him…. 

they’re both crying as she recounts what happened; she made a golem, which took the form of isaac, but it isn't truly him

but da agents are here now…. and JACOB IS BEING HANGED???? so the golem does not have her best interests at heart.

mulder pulls out a handy knife to cut him down!!! mulder keeps a knife on him….. huh. i’ll analyze that later. 

scully is working her doctor skills while mulder goes on a hunt for ariel, who he finds on the floor. 

ohhhh but the golem is here….. and she’s begging him not, to but mulder is shooting at the golem…. it isn’t doing anything. and now he’s choking mulder.

she offers “isaac” the ring…. and he puts it on her hand….

but she wipes off the first letter!!!! and he crumbles!!!!

scully is here to find mulder!!!!! while ariel is saying goodbye 

that is the end of the episode, which is dedicated to lillian katz. a google search leads me to believe that she was the episode writer’s grandmother 

hmm. what am i thinking….?

well, this was a sad one. a very sad one. which i had been warned was going to keep happening over and over again until i hit episode 20. and yet! here i am! still sad!

i take it that this one was likely very personal to the writer, if that really is the writer’s grandmother that this was dedicated to and google is not lying to me. 

i think it covered really important topics, especially about how rhetoric turns into violence, and the two are inseparable. 

here’s something i’m confused about: why did they throw in that line about jacob being a terrorist? was it supposed to show that hate can effect all people, like how mulder said hate was a two-way street? it just feels like it didn’t actually serve any purpose beyond being a red herring to try and get you to think it was jacob and not the golem that did the killing. but what does that do to the narrative, to highlight someone who has suffered at the hands of hatred- and then put a different hatred of his own into that character’s hands? this is a thing that happens in real life, and real life is messy and complicated, but i feel a bit thrown off on that for the basic plot reason of “if he killed 7 people then how did he get to new york”.

implications aside of someone surviving a genocide and then inflicting the pain of death onto others, which i will admit i feel hesitant about but don’t even know where to begin in approaching that, it stuck out to me as weird and unrealistic. i mean, if they were trying to show that hate was a two-way street (which is… an interesting way of seeing things anyway), jacob’s hatred of the boys who killed isaac was already well fleshed out without a random terrorist point. is the story trying to say that everyone hates something or someone, and we are all capable of being driven to horrible things? or what? i’m a little lost on the overall meaning, and maybe i have to wrestle with it for a bit. it's not like the hatred of an oppressor to the oppressed and the hatred of the oppressed to their oppressor are moral equivalents.

i feel i wasn’t supposed to take home the message that using golems to kill nazis is a good thing but. well. if i was supposed to be sympathetic to curt and the murder boys and see their potential to change and be good people deep down, i didn’t get the memo. and also they kept calling these men who looked like college graduates "boys", as if to emphasize how hate corrupts the next generations, but. again. they did not look like boys. so if they were trying to make that point, i feel it fell a bit flat.

in terms of the jewish mulder headcanon... like i had said, i had been subscribing to it myself, but honestly, i didn't feel anything happened here where i was like "omg, canon proof!" i think if he had known the word on luria/the golem's hand i would have been more compelled to think so. but his line about hate being a two-way street felt weird, and when he didn't understand that there doesn't need to be a specific threat of violence for the threat to always be there in a jewish community also felt a little like he didn't know what he was talking about. also, he described the death at the beginning as "very old testament", which felt odd. it is an odd thing to say at all, but given that it is such a christian term, it felt loaded.

maybe, if you have this headcanon, you imagine that he grew up without knowing much about the culture associated with it? what do you think? do you subscribe to that headcanon?

while the episode was touching, i found myself confused on what exactly it was trying to say. i guess i'll leave it at that.

did you like it? did you have a solid interpretation on what it was trying to say and if it said it well? to me it felt like it was trying to be a lesson on how hate corrupts all but that also seems simplistic.

tell me all the thoughts.

[signaturedish]

Dude. I just re-read PA for the 4th time, and dang! I love it unreasonably lots!! You have SKILLS making me adore ypur whole cast of characters! I was wondering, if you aren't already planning to continue in the future, how did you see this story going, and ending? Selfishly, I hope it turns out Everything Is Good, Nothing Hurts at curtains, but what delights and terrors did you have smuggled up your sleeves?? Great work, and thanks for the beautiful masterpiece of a fic!

I got this ask a while ago and I really thought about. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go with PA until this year. I still really like what I wrote and I love you guys, but as of 2024 it’s safe to say it’s officially abandoned and I no longer plan to finish it.

As for where I was planning to take PA, of course I planned for a happy ending! I wasn’t half as vicious as some of the people who interacted with this blog lmao. PA was a tortilla chip for hurt/comfort fluff first and foremost!

The plan was bb-Harry hot potato. Raids and swaps and hostages while humans watched in horrified silence as these killer robots invading the planet seemed more occupied with capture-the-flag chrome edition than alien takeover.

Concretely, there was going to be a resolution to that whole growing-up thing. Decepticons were gonna cobble together a second frame for him via human raids (think OG cartoon and all the random raids to acquire resources) and finally conclude they might need a doctor to fine tune it.

Cue Ratchet who’s been trying to get conveniently isolated and captured for weeks atp getting captured (thank god). Harry would get a sick new form- which was more in-tune with regular seekers. Upturned wings, greater independence, durability, etc.

He’d get some fledgling flying lessons, there was going to be a concurrently running subplot about Starscream plotting to use bb harry as a hostage/king’s crown and delivering him to The Fallen for evil nefarious purposes. But of course melting at the last minute and dying to get Harry out of there.

Then being resurrected with the cube, etc etc happy endings because that’s my jam.

The big bad was going to be The Fallen who is Not Cool about this kid who

A. Is not one of the hatchling drones he’s been sinking millions into in order to win over desperate robots as the last option to keep from going extinct.

B. Is in possession of the allspark in such a manner that he can’t just grab it in the dark of night.

Eventually spurring decepticons and Autobots to take him out together as the final conflict. Probably after he successfully captured and almost murdered Harry. I was thinking about having him switch from using Decepticons after Starscream’s double cross and using humans and reincorporating those scientists.

They sneak in while the Autobots and deceptions are on high alert for EACH OTHER, and get their test subject back with the help of a powerful backer they don’t know much about.

Harry would get that one-two punch of being back in the lab, we can have some closure over those scientists and they can rough him up. Then deliver him to the Fallen.

From there, it could’ve gone a couple of ways. Harry, empowered, finding a way to hurt the Fallen with the allspark, maybe getting killed and resurrected, maybe regular old sabotage and halfway failed escape before a rescue in the darkest hour…. I wasn’t sure what tone I wanted for the climax….I was leaning on putting him death’s door and everyone needing to work together to get him out and keep him alive.

In the process of taking on the fallen and getting their baby back, Autobots and decepticons forge a very tenuous peace treaty in the name of Not Almost Getting Their Kid Killed Like That One Time With The Fallen Ever Again.

Somewhere in there we were gonna get second and third wave Autobot and deceptions refugees hitting the earth and Harry was going to find out he could use the allspark to bring more kids to life.

But yeah, post epilogue characters were going to end somewhere along the lines of-

Harry on his way to robot teenage-dom, strong enough and with enough resources that he no longer needs the allspark to live. He figures out how to remove it, but its decided that he should keep it.

Megatron and Optimus, now the most passive aggressive reluctant exes sharing custody of their kid you have ever seen at a PTA meeting.

Ratchet, dealing with his trauma via the deeply healing experience of seeing a pack of healthy kids out in the universe again. Eventually he might have one of his own, tho that wasn’t concrete.

Bumblebee and Starscream become big brothers of vastly different fonts.

Bumblebee is the one adored by all the little kiddies, ready to help with pranks and jokes. Starscream is the one worshipped fearfully from afar. Kids don’t act out in his presence, they act LIKE him and then furiously deny that they were mimicking him at all.

Arcee isn’t that invested in all honesty. Jazz and Ironhide are cool uncles. For basically everyone else I become Oprah- YOU get a kid, and YOU get a kid, etc.

There was going to be an explosion in the UK that no one pursues super seriously. We think it’s a robot stirring up trouble but nothing really becomes of it. Just Wizard World having A Time ™ and Voldemort and Dumbledore speed-running the series off screen.

In a very broad, probably embarrassingly hand-waved manner, they were also going to negotiate their way into owning land for their colony. No longer dwindling refugees, now an infant nation state slowly incorporating themselves politically as a technological power, trading for old relics and refined energy sources.

These were my rough outlines and ideas, which were nowhere near set in stone. So if you prefer a different end or would’ve liked something else to be included, by all means continue with that ending! That’s just what I had planned way back when, and I hope it doesn’t sound like total nonsense lol!!

[akatsuki-shin]

Hi, @akatsuki-shin thanks so much for sharing your wonderful fanfics. I love to read them...🤩

I found your blog, cause I saw a lot of your JJK posts. Then I realized that you're also the author of quite a lot my favorite fanfics (sorry for being late in realizing it)....

Wow, now that you mentioned it, one of my twitter moot also like to post paralell between SatoSugu and HuaLian, somehow I felt it's not quite fit to their dynamics, and you worded them perfectly....

After reading your previous ask, do you mind if I ask you danmei questions? Can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from 'X'? And why you loved them? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite moments from the novel? Thanks if you want to answer and sorry for the long ask....

'X' can be Qiang Jianjiu, Can Ci Pin or Mo Du, feel free to pick either one that you want to answer....

Aaaahhh thank you so much for reading my fics! 🥺 Hopefully I can post in the future for you to read hahaha

Yeah, I mean, for a ship to be similar to SatoSugu, I think one of them has to at least give off that Mom vibe like Suguru. Ngl, if Gojo were to marry Geto, he's not only going to get himself a wife but a Mom, as well, because he can be pretty childish and unhinged while Geto is there to make sure he doesn't run off somewhere. 😂

For your question, I'll go with Qiang Jinjiu.

My favorite character is definitely Shen Lanzhou. He's so pretty and smart. If he weren't so sickly, he would've been super strong when it comes to fighting. I love the fact that despite him often being looked down due to his looks and status, he ends becoming the most fearsome character in the story. Like, if you slight Ce'an, you may get off with just a few punches from him, but if you slight Lanzhou, you'll probably disappear that very same day. 😂

Next one is Xiao Ce'an. I love to see his change from wanting to kill Lanzhou on first sight then ended up becoming the most dedicated and loyal lover as the story progressed. Considering how precious Lanzhou is to me, I kinda share Ce'an's adoration for him and it just makes me happy to see him trying to spoil Lanzhou in every way.

For the third place, I'm not sure if I should say Papa Xiao Fangxu or Qi Zhuyin. They both definitely have a special place in my heart because of how strong and cool they are. Maybe I'll put Papa Xiao on 3rd and General Qi on 4th because I really love how we can see Xiao Fangxu's personality in Ce'an, especially with the way they both love and adore their partner. Qi Zhuyin is super awesome, though. Despite everyone's doubt on her as a woman, she proved to be a great and strong general (I think her troops are the most crucial there because she leads, like, 300thousand soldiers or something?).

I think it's pretty weird to put this one as a favorite character, but for some reason, I really love Ce'an's horse, Lang Tao Xue Jin. This horse always has the coolest description whenever it shows up and it's so funny when CeZhou had sex that night while riding the horse. The poor thing, LMAO. Also love Meng the gyrfalcon. I love them both. <3

As for my favorite moment, my number one is definitely when Ce'an resurrects the Libei Armored Cavalry after his father's death, that battle when they caught the Scorpions off-guard bytheir weapons and tactics upgrade in winter and pushes them all down to the Chasi Sink Hole. What I love the most about QJJ is how cinematic the battle scenes are and that one, followed by how Lanzhou desperately jumps into the sink hole to chase after Ce'an like a scene straight out of his nightmare is so uuurrgggghhhhhh 😭😭😭

Next one is the huge decisive battle with Hassen. Like, man, I didn't think I sleep at all until I finished that entire arc until Ce'an came and finished Hassen for good. From the very start when the invasion has just begun, to when the old commander (Yin Chang?) sacrificed himself outside the gate, when Fei Sheng rode all the way to lit the tower, when Tantai Hu came with reinforcement, and when Ce'an shot his arrow right before Hassen killed Lanzhou. I truly have no words; that must be the coolest battle scene I've read in my whole life.

The third one goes back a bit further to the earlier part when Lanzhou lets Ce'an go and locks him out of the city gate, so he could confront the guy who killed his teacher (Han Cheng, I think). But then Fei Sheng opened the gate for him and let Ce'an brought Lanzhou with him. That was so intense and the following hurt/comfort scene is just heartbreaking aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I'm not sure what to put as my fourth and fifth favorite scenes because there are so many interesting scenes throughout the story. I do remember two scenes that I still remember to this day.

One is when Qi Zhuyin's vice commander(?) sincerely told her that even if nobody were to remember her after this, then he would be the one to always light a candle for her, and after his death he would make sure his children continue to do the same. Qi Zhuyin really deserved that recognition after all her struggles and this show of sincere loyalty really just strikes me in my weakest point hhhhhhhhh

The other one is when Lu Yizhi came to visit Lanzhou to see what kind of man his brother-in-law has fallen in love with, but Lanzhou has no idea about it at all. And then at the end, Fei Sheng inadvertently opened the gift Lu Yizhi left for Lanzhou and went "mother of god it's a dowry" or something. xD

[of-stories-and-stardust]

Vicious and Vengeful Duology by V.E. Schwab

After finishing The Darker Shade of Magic series and longing for more of her work I decided to give this set a go. I have to say this is probably one of the most interesting stories based in on a super-hero/super-power premise I've read.

I should note here that as a reader, I tend to be very focused on characters and their development (or lack thereof). Yes, plot, worldbuilding, etc... are always important and a big part of any story. But for me the characters are always going to be the most important component of the story and I can forgive a lot of things in a tale if they are written well. That being said, the most notable thing in this whole story for me is the lack of a clear hero. It's a Super-Hero book with no actual "Hero" No black and white with regards to morals. No "Good Guy". Only various characters who operate in shades of shifting greys.

NOTE: I'm not going to re-hash the summary of the books on here - you could go look that up anywhere. I'm planning to focus my efforts on discussion/personal observation for this blog, although I intend to avoid spoilers whenever possible. Seems like a fine line, we'll see how it goes.

When we meet Victor and Eli we are shown right away that not only are these two intensely brilliant guys, but that both are just a little "off-kilter." Turns out being ambitious, competitive, not quite mentally balanced, and possibly a genius is a recipe for disaster in a world where developing "Extra Ordinary" (EO) powers is possible if you are brave (or reckless) enough to force yourself to have a near death experience (or really actually die for a second and then somehow come back).

From the start my brain was trying to balance the two, attempting to make assumptions about who to root for, even as it's clear thru Victor's overwhelming jealousy (and later, revenge) and Eli's weird self-righteousness that neither have moral high ground. So, it's an interesting exercise in where exactly to draw the line between intention, motivation, and actions.

The true characters of Victor and Eli are shown more thru their choice in companions. Mich is such fabulous character - I just love the use of the underrated smart but big guy who everyone assumes is a thug. And of course, Sarena, an EO who can convince anyone to do anything she asks (while possibly an overused character type) is always going to be a frighting ally for any villain to have. Add in to the mix Sydney, the betrayed little sister to Serena who can resurrect the dead (and the dog she resurrected), a recovering addict vet who can move outside of time, and a whole city of brainwashed police officers and it's quite a showdown.

The second book gives us more of Eli's backstory and a further understanding of his religious mission to rid the world of EO's (except himself of course) and also his intelligence and patience. Victor is burning thru potentially helpful EO's in a misguided (or maybe just poorly motivated) attempt to just stay alive. Also, we get the rise of a new team of characters under Marcela, a slighted mob wife (mostly) murdered by her husband. Also, the police stand where exactly in all of this (because they are a present entity here too)?

I found it a refreshing change that instead of a "Good vs Evil" face-off that we typically get especially in a super-hero story, we get a 3+ way tangled up mess of a climax where you aren't really sure who will end up with how much of what in the end.

[tarnishedxknight]

What was the moment that made you realize you wanted to adopt Basch as a muse? What are his beliefs, being half-Landisian and half-Archadian? Since it's hard to get him angry, what is something he absolutely cannot stand?

Who's the main character to you, besides Vaan? Is it Basch? Is it Ashelia?

What were some things Ashelia wished she had growing up? Maybe she wished she had some girl time, like she has with Mantis and Gamora? Maybe she wished she had a sister or some female friends? Also Mantis still needs to finish Ashelia's makeup lol, so make sure she doesn't leave the Palace.

What are Noah's beliefs, being also half-Archadian and half-Landisian? What did he wish he had growing up? Friends? Support? His twin brother? What would it take for him to forgive Basch?

{out of dalmasca} Thank you so much for sending these in! =D So... the answers may change dramatically based on whether I'm talking about canon versions of these muses or my own versions, but I'll try to give you an idea of both if they are different. Below the cut for length.

What was the moment that made you realize you wanted to adopt Basch as a muse?

I decided I wanted to write Basch a few years ago when I was in a pretty bad place in my life and I needed some of my longtime comfort characters to get me through things. There are several characters from TV, movies, books, or games that have stuck with me for many years and who I keep coming back to in my thoughts or my writing, and I consider them to be favorites that have really become comfort characters for me to return to. Since I was going through some things, I was indulging in those characters again.

It was around this time that I started writing Vincent from the 80S TV show Beauty and the Beast, and started resurrecting some muses that I'd archived, like Raiden and Gizmo. They're all in that favorite/comfort character category for me, and around that time it suddenly occurred to me that one of the major OGs of comfort characters that I had overlooked... was Basch. I remember thinking... why have I never tried to write Basch ever? Why has this not been a thing? Heh, so yeah, that's when I decided to write him, and that's why this blog is named for him, because he used to be the first and only muse on here.

What are his beliefs, being half-Landisian and half-Archadian?

So... this is probably going to touch upon some things that I want to eventually follow up with in a separate post about the Occuria, the gods of FFXII, and the religious systems. It's also going to involve a lot of headcanons because... quite honestly, not much is known about Basch in the game, like... the man does not share about himself, heh. In the canon game, all you know is that he and Noah are from Landis, it was destroyed, and for some reason Basch ended up in Dalmasca and Noah ended up in Archadia. Nothing is said about their parents or why the twins went their separate ways at that time. From the manga, you then learn that Basch decided to go off on his own when Noah wouldn't leave their Archadian mother, who wanted to return to the Empire after the death of her husband, their father. Basch very arrogantly refused to live in the Empire that had destroyed his homeland, so that was the reason why he split from Noah, left Landis, and rejected Archadia. Noah went to Archadia with their mother and just.... stayed there, joining the military and rising through the ranks. So that's all we get in "canon," if you consider the manga canon, which I do for most of it.

Now... for my headcanons that fill in even more blanks, heh. The reason Basch went to Dalmasca was because they were a neutral kingdom, politically-speaking, and so they were not aligned with either the Rozarrian or Achadian Empire. That was appealing to Basch, who wanted a simpler life and didn't want to involve himself too much in the conflict between the Empires. Little did he know that he would become so heavily immersed in it over the years anyway. Noah remained in Archadia because Archadia was a "winner." The Empire had "won" over Landis and so many other lands, it was strong, it was brutal, and it was a means for Noah to learn skills to survive. Noah didn't want to feel like a victim anymore and his own survival came to mean almost everything to him, so he basically threw his lot in with what he thought was going to be the winner in the war in an attempt to come out on top himself. Of course, things got more complicated for him as the years went on, but that was the root of it.

Because of this, each brother rejected half their blood. Noah rejected Landis, his abusive father, and his Landisian blood. Basch rejected his Archadian blood. Noah no longer considers Landis to be his homeland, but rather has fully embraced Archadia as his homeland now. Basch still considers Landis to be his homeland, but he also considers Dalmasca his homeland too. He spent actually more years living in Dalmasca than he did in Landis at the time of the game. Sixteen years in Landis vs. 18-20 years in Dalmasca from prologue to main game. So he considers both lands to be a "homeland" to him. However, at the time of the game, if asked for his nationality, he would say that he is Dalmascan, not Landisian. Only if asked about his blood would he mention Landis.

So with all that laid out, Basch's beliefs are a bit complicated. You might expect him to still hold onto Landisian beliefs, but he doesn't. Many religious beliefs of Landis were tied up in fables, figures, gods, and demons that he just couldn't believe in. The fact that one of the most damaging superstitions and traditions is one that condemned his own twin and might have gotten him killed after his birth simply for being born after Basch was one of the reasons why he rejected Landisian religion.

Dalmascan religion, the belief that the Occuria are gods over mankind, was also not something he could really grasp. Having grown up with this world's version of "pagan" religion, with many gods, spirits, angels, demons, etc. instead of just one set of Occuria, Basch found it hard to believe that the Occuria were the only gods, or even that they were gods. To him, they seemed simply like beings that were more powerful than humans, and therefore were either feared or revered as gods. So... worshipping another race simply for being more powerful than his own didn't seem like a good reason to do so? It's just not something he could get behind, though he didn't begrudge anyone else in Dalmasca from doing so, or challenge the whole "ruling by divine mandate" mindset of the royal family for having been touched by the Occuria. Whether or not they were gods, it was absolutely true that the Occuria had chosen the royal family's ancestor and granted him power beyond that of any human being. So he could understand their connection to that and their pride in it even if he did not worship the Occuria in the same way himself.

So if he doesn't subscribe to either Landisian or Dalmascan religion, what does he believe? Basch actually does believe that there are gods, he just doesn't know who or what they are. They're above the Occuria, stronger and more powerful, but he believes they're a lot more hands-off with regard to human life. He believes that humans choose their own destinies, and one of his most iconic quotes, said while Ashelia is agonizing over what to do with the pressure she's receiving from the Occuria to do as they want her to, is: "We are the arbiters of our own fate." So he kindof is aware of "gods" somewhere looking over everything, but he doesn't believe they really manipulate the human race or take that much stock in the lives of individual people. He will sometimes vaguely refer to the "gods," or the "powers that be," when mentioning them. Most in Ivalice think he's referring to the Occuria when he says that, but he's not. He doesn't bother to correct them.

Basch also is very attuned to nature. It may not be a religion, but it is a set of beliefs that is a source of reverence, grounding, peace, and making himself feel very small in a good way. Growing up in Landis with the port and the mountains, hills, forests, plains, etc., he became very comfortable being out in nature, but also grew to have a respect for its power. Storms, wild animals, basic survival, etc. are things to be respected in nature and to understand that he is not above it and must answer to the same natural laws as every living thing on the planet. So whether it's the sea or the desert or a forest, Basch respects environments for what they are, what they can provide him, and also how dangerous they can be. It's humbling to him to always kindof place himself against nature or a larger overall environment and say he's only one man, one human, and he has real limitations and mortality. It makes him not only humble but also appreciate that life is precious. He also has the ability to find the beauty in every biome, climate, or terrain, even those that would annoy or frustrate most people.

Since it's hard to get him angry, what is something he absolutely cannot stand?

It is hard to get Basch angry, and even harder to get a rise or reaction out of him even if he does get angry, heh. But something that can arouse anger in him quickly and potently is harming innocent people, especially children. If he sees someone hurting someone else, there's no way he's not getting involved, even at great peril to himself. He can't not act, it's just not in his nature to stand by and do nothing. And if the harmers, abusers, killers, etc. want to push back at him, either verbally or through combat, there's a good chance he'll get angry.

I think it's the notion of... there is so much in this world that will take away an innocent life or that will traumatize an innocent person, we don't need to be doing it to ourselves. What I mean is... there's famine, disease, bad luck, accidents, etc. that can befall people and result in good folks getting screwed or dying. But for a person to decide to hurt or kill another simply for the sake of it, cruelty or violence for the sake of it, that's just completely disgusting and unacceptable to Basch.

It's something that honestly personally affronts him. Like how dare you do this when there is already so much that is unfortunate and evil and difficult in the world. He believes everyone has a responsibility to be a good person and that everyone has the potential and ability, it's just a matter of that being important to them and of them actively choosing goodness, even when it's the harder path. He does that every day, and when he sees someone disregarding the sanctity of life or innocence, he becomes infuriated... because in his mind, there's no excuse for that. There's no reason, it's not necessary, you're just being an asshole for no reason. So yeah, if that line of thinking is triggered in him, he will become visibly angry.

Who's the main character to you, besides Vaan? Is it Basch? Is it Ashelia?

As much as I would love to say Basch, haha, yeah, it's Ashelia. Not only just for airtime but because the whole story, or each facet of the story of the game, kindof revolves around her. She's tied to the war, to Basch and Noah's deal, she's dealing with Larsa from Archadia and Al-Cid from Rozarria, she has ties to Nabraida, she's the focus of the Occuria, she even brings Balthier and Reddas into things so the sky pirate community is involved, heh, like every major plot in the game involves her in some way. And her decisions, the path she takes, and what she ultimately decides to do about the Occuria's orders to her, the Sun Cryst, all of that... has the potential to drastically change the trajectory of the plot of the game and to alter so many lives of other characters. Her own personal story arc of identity, self-worth, fate vs. free will, and her path of maturing and developing as a person is one that other characters share in a number of ways and is one of the important, overarching themes of the game.

What were some things Ashelia wished she had growing up? Maybe she wished she had some girl time, like she has with Mantis and Gamora? Maybe she wished she had a sister or some female friends?

So.... canon Ashelia is a bit weird, heh. In the game, I think it was Marquis Ondore (someone Ashelia calls "uncle" and who is a close friend of King Raminas) who said in his memoirs that are narrated at certain points in the game, that she was the youngest child of Raminas, the only daughter, something to that effect. I don't remember if he said there were eight brothers, but I think he did? But we never get names, ages, or specifics on how they died, only that they died in the war or from plague, but that's all. I headcanon on my own with my version of her that's outside of any other siblings I or @lightinxthedark have created for her that Ashelia didn't really know any of her brothers that well. Most were dead before she was even born, and the couple or few who weren't were so distant in age and died when she was so young that she never really bonded much with them.

Obviously, that's very different if you bring in Caelen, or @lightinxthedark's Rohir/Eclipsis, because she was closer with them, but canon or just my basic Ashelia version never really bonded with any of her siblings and was essentially like an only child. What's interesting is that in some of the artbooks for FFXII, Ashelia's descriptions say "the only child of King Raminas," which is weird. Maybe translating from Japanese something was lost? Maybe it was supposed to say, the last living child? I dunno, heh. Also, bothing is said of her mother at all in the game. Raminas is supposedly in his 60s, but he looks much older, so... as far as my own headcanons for her, I imagine her childhood was a very lonely one.

Growing up without really bonding with her siblings (or losing the ones she was close to in the war), losing her mother at the age of seven (my headcanon), and having an emotionally distant and constantly busy father, combined with the isolating upbringing of a princess, meant that Ashelia didn't have friends or playmates or much social interaction. She was lonely, and if not for Basch's care of her, she would have been even more isolated. So I think, yes, she would have loved more siblings she was very close to, a sister to identify with and who understood her situation and how she felt would've been great, and I think having some little friends to play with at young age would also have really benefitted her. I think she feels she missed out on a lot of things when she was little, and it was honestly one more reason for her to blame Archadia, because if not for the war, she would have had more of her siblings alive.

I think she also wished she could've had access to more things to learn or study growing up, not only things that were "princess-appropriate." She would have loved the freedom to explore more instead of being cooped up in the palace. And she would have liked to interact with other races more often, because the palace was almost exclusively populated with humes, but the city of Rabanastre around it was vert diverse.

Also Mantis still needs to finish Ashelia's makeup lol, so make sure she doesn't leave the Palace.

Haha, yes she does! At some point we'll get them back together again, don't worry. Ashelia isn't going anywhere, so it's very possible. =)

What are Noah's beliefs, being also half-Archadian and half-Landisian?

I already explained a lot about Noah's view of his blood, his "homeland," and his reasons for staying in Archadia in the other question about Basch above, so his focus became survival and never being a victim again. His beliefs, if you can call them that, became about himself, his own strength and viability, and his own path forward. He felt that no one would advocate for him or help him to survive, he had to do it himself. That changed as he met Emperor Gramis and Drace, for they did support him in different ways and Drace was very much there for him during some of his darkest times. At least in my Dark!Ivalice AU she was, heh. Headcanon vs. canon is a bit different, I suppose...

In the game, there is obviously some trust and understanding going on between Noah and Gramis. It's clear Noah has given him his loyalty, inasmuch as he is willing to serve him and help further his vision for Archadia's future. I headcanon that, in Gramis, Noah found a better father figure (or at least one better suited to him and his needs emotionally) than he did in his own biological father.

For Drace in canon, it was clear that they trusted each other, worked well together, shared secrets and sensitive information with each other, and had some kind of bond beyond just a working relationship. When Noah is ordered to execute her, his hesitation and emotional grappling with himself seems to indicate that he cares for her in some way. In my headcanons, obviously their trust and understanding goes way deeper because of her covering for him with the whole situation with Amoretta and Larsa, and they did have a romantic and sexual relationship.

So taking all of that together, what started for Noah as a rather selfish path forward to being strong enough to make sure he never was a victim again (of the war, of his father, or Amoretta, of just the hardships of daily life, of anything or anyone that threatened to beat him down and put him back in that victim's place again in his mind), eventually became about the people around him. Gramis, Drace, and Larsa became important to him and it became clear to him that his strength also needed to be used to ensure a future for others and not only his own survival. Towards the end, his desire to ensure a future for Larsa and the Empire ended up surpassing his desire to survive himself.

Noah doesn't believe in any gods. He's not religious, he's rejected Landisian religion, and whether the Occuria are gods or not, he could not care less. Life for Noah is in the here and now, it's raw, it's real, it's mortal, and it's in his face. He doesn't have time for prayers and candles and worshiping sessions and placing his faith in beings more powerful than himself. He controls his life, his fate, and he can decide for himself what to do with his own power. Ironically, his mindset ended up not being very far off from where Basch settled in his beliefs, in that both twins ended up believing that men choose their own fates, and both twins had people they loved becoming the focus of their lives rather than their own survival.

What did he wish he had growing up? Friends? Support? His twin brother?

Growing up, Noah wished he had a father who loved him and who was supportive of him. He wished he had a real mother instead of one so concerned and obsessed with her own creature comforts, "ailing" health, and petty desires. And, although he did have a friend and support in Basch, he wished he'd been able to keep it, instead of Basch abandoning him. Because he didn't have a great childhood, he was angry a lot, withdrawn, quiet... and that didn't win him many friends. Having more friends would definitely have been nice for him. So I think Noah feels a lot of people in his life failed him in big ways early on, and that kindof set the tone of his life and caused him to go down a very dark and angry path.

What would it take for him to forgive Basch?

Based upon the very few threads and the canon game in which Noah has forgiven Basch, I've determined that there are only three ways in which he would forgive his brother. Noah would have to be dying, Basch would have to be dying, or enough time would have to go by for Noah to finally realize that there's no reason to be holding on to this grudge anymore.

In the canon game, Noah doesn't say as much with words, but he does clearly forgive Basch and reconcile with him right before his death. So he's literally lying on his deathbed with Larsa and Basch by his side, and he's asking Basch to protect Larsa for him, because the Empire's future and therefore that of all of Ivalice depends on Larsa's vision for Archadia becoming a reality. Basch agrees to do this, and Noah's final words are, "Your words put me at ease, brother. Sorry to leave you."

That's a lot more impactful if you consider the manga. In the manga, when Basch abandons Noah, I forget the exact wording, but he says something like "I have a brother no longer" or "you are no brother to me" or something like that. So Noah really renounced Basch and at least formally didn't consider him his brother anymore. Now of course emotionally, though he would never admit it, he still did, but I guess as a point of principle, he'd rejected Basch as a brother. So for Noah to call him "brother" when he's right there to hear it, and to not have it be in the context of an angry rant like he said at the Pharos, "Silence! All was stripped from me! Only hatred for the brother who fled our homeland remains mine!", is very significant.

So clearly he'd forgiven Basch at that point. I think that facing one's own mortality can cause people to say what they otherwise wouldn't, to lay aside grievances, or to be willing to speak/listen when they usually wouldn't. I believe that was the case with Noah at the end of the game. He knew he was dying, and facing that, there wasn't a need or a reason to hold onto that anger anymore. And really, with Noah, the anger is a front for pain. He was hurt by Basch, and you can't be hurt by someone you don't love or who means nothing to you, so obviously he loves Basch and felt hurt by him. When facing his own death, I think Noah realized that the love was more important than the lingering hurt.

The same thing happens when it's Basch who's dying instead of Noah, but for slightly different reasons. I did this in a thread with @illbringthechaosmagic's Wanda. In this scenario, Noah realizes that he's run out of time with Basch. He's going to lose his brother, and if he doesn't say anything now, then Basch will die thinking Noah hated him and that he was not forgiven. That idea is extremely jarring for Noah, that Basch might die in a state of thinking he hated him. So he would seek to rectify that and would say he forgave Basch if he thought he was going to lose him.

The third scenario, letting enough time pass by, has only been done once, and it was in a thread where I wasn't writing Noah, @tarnishedxjudgement was. But we share a lot of headcanons and have developed the Dark!Ivalice verse together. In that thread, Noah had survived all this time as a revenant and met Basch again in his MCU verse. So Noah was like 5K years old, heh, and that amount of time not only dulled the anger and made Noah a lot calmer, but it also had him come around to the realization at some point during this looooong life of his that it just didn't matter anymore. Holding the grudge, I mean. There were other more important things in life, and having lost Basch and Larsa and so many others, Noah was left alone and forced to realize that he'd actually loved his brother a whole lot more than he was angry with him. So in Noah's revenant versed that intersected with Basch's MCU verse, Noah forgave Basch outright.

These were a lot of fun to answer, so thank you for sending them in! ^_^