#i have a list of instructions
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Tooth gone
#adios mother fucker#wisdom tooth grew in wrong and my dentist was sweating trying to get it out#i have a list of instructions#and im so eely#eepu#eepy#mcgucko#fik#fuUC
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does anybody else feel like a lot of sso's features aren't fully implemented lately? for example the championship season pass thing, I think that was so hidden. for no reason. i've had multiple people tell me they didn't even know it existed until somebody told them about it. and that seems like such a big flaw for a timed event and brand new feature?? i also felt very thrown into the deep end with the collections lately. both gm bee's bees and erissa's dolls didn't tell you anything about what you had to do! i loved the stars, i adored the spiders, this would be right up my alley. but all the confusion ruins it for me! why doesnt sso tell us how many things we have to collect? what's the diary even for if they don't add the new collection quests to it? i loved it as a way to keep track of your progress and get hints of the areas of the collectables you're still missing. the way it is right now it just incentivizes looking up guides instead of trying :(
#star stable#star stable online#sso#ssoblr#starstable#is anybody else stressed out?#i shouldnt have to make lists for all the collections to keep track myself#right??#it makes it so hard to take your time with that stuff#also not knowing if its a quests you can take your time with or if you're gonna need it to continue the story line next update#ALSO the fact that you cant look up anything about it again!! after talking to bee once theres no way to get the instructions again#let alone MORE info if you need it??#thats basic game design#a quest - especially a long collection quest - should not vanish from the quest log after i start it#i should not be able to forget a quest if i dont play for a month!!
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Just read a fic with Akutagawa struggling to read and it's such an exceptional characterization tidbit, I really wish more people would take it into consideration. For real: he's been living in the most miserable conditions most of his life, and it's implied in canon he never had the chance to attend proper education up to at least 14; it only makes sense he would stumble to process written text. Seriously, less of savvy Akutagawa and more illiterate Akutagawa. In my opinion it also makes a nice symbolic juxtaposition with his irl counterpart, to have a character who's barely able to read when the original is one of the most important authors of Japanese literature.
#I'd say “back on my Akutagawa is stupid” agenda#Except I don't really feel like saying it's him being stupid when not getting an instruction is something that was never up to him#But it may contribute to why he's so naive and relatively easy to manipulate (by Dazai‚ Mori‚ Atsushi‚ Chuuya‚ the list is long... )#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd official art#mine#q.#13/06/23#And I know this is directly contradicted in Beast. But it makes a lot more sense if you ask me.#Who would have even cared to teach him how to read anyway
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I know I've posted about nothing but my job lately, but I am really struggling right now...
I honestly think one of the greatest failures of our modern education system is that teachers are expected to exhibit patience and forgiveness beyond anything that would be expected in other career fields.
Genuinely, I think the world would be a lot more functional (and better educated) currently if teachers were just allowed to be a little more real with students and tell them that, yeah, actually, it's not acceptable to continue making the same mistake after being corrected on it twelve times.
Of course, I fully understand instructors cannot expect students to master concepts they're never been taught.
But if a concept or rule has been clearly communicated to the student multiple times, it is honestly just not reasonable to expect a high grade while still continuing to make all the same mistakes. If a student refuses to learn the material, they just shouldn't pass. If I give a student a step-by-step video walk-through for how to handle basic formatting and they still fuck it up because they didn't bother to even watch the video, they should lose points. Like is that rocket science???
Imagine being a cashier, being taught the proper procedure for closing out a register multiple times, and then still fucking it up every single time you have to close.
Would you be employed as a cashier for very long? No!
Man, I don't even know. I know I'm just ranting at this point because I'm disappointed, but... Really, I do think that teachers should just be allowed to be a little more real. Sometimes calling people out for not putting in the minimum effort is fair.
If a student makes the same basic mistake after I've corrected them 20 times, it should be socially acceptable for me to tell them to stop wasting my time--and wasting their own time--in a class they don't intend to learn anything from.
I'm so tired...
#irl stuff#don't get me wrong#there are so many rewards to teaching#but the current college environment is actually insane#students literally come into literature classes#fully planning to never read a single word#of either the assigned readings#OR EVEN THE ASSIGNMENT INSTRUCTIONS#god save me#this brought to you by my summer students#even after I provided them a SPECIFIC bullet point list of which readings have their titles in italics and which are in quotation marks#and then posted this list as a class announcement#THEN sent it as a class message#THEN sent it to their student email accounts#90% of them STILL fucked it up in their essays#LIKE NO OFFENSE#but why are you even in a college class if you have no desire to pay attention to any information provided in the class???#if the first piece of advice I give you on your rough draft is that you misspelled the MAIN character's name#and then you turn in a final draft where the name is STILL misspelled#I should legally be allowed to roll up your essay and beat you with it#just saying
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the thoma one, god i love him. what a sweetheart :') but like.......what would happen if we went to the kamisato estate with him. and like. the siblings caught us. would they be on our side or would ayato call for our arrest immediately. would thoma still try to help us once he realized or does his loyalty override that. i am dying to know 👀
silent conclusions
summary: the kamisato estate is welcoming, thoma and ayaka are kind, ayato is… ayato.
word count: exactly 4000. very cool
-> warnings: spoilers for inazuma archon quest, exactly one (1) swear word, ayato is a little shit (affectionate), if your name is maple uh… whoops?
-> lowercase intended!
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @genshin-impacts-me || @5sos-wdw
@yoshikuno and @alexteea asked for part threes- sorry if you didn’t wanna be tagged
<<first part || < masterlist >
teleport waypoints, despite being incredibly convenient, take large tolls.
the moment your feet were on solid ground again you reached, latching onto the closest person as your vision swam with vertigo. bile rose in your throat once more, exacerbating your nausea. though you managed to wash out some of the saltwater with the tea—shockingly sweet, from what you remember of green tea—it still soaked your tongue.
two people are talking, voices just out of focus, and the person you grabbed sets their hand over yours.
you’re thankful they give you a moment’s pause, and you take deep breaths. slowly, the stone beneath you is less blinding, and you can see that you’re outside the kamisato estate. the white and purple walls are tall, imposing, two guards stationed in front of the entrance. it looks like light security, but you figure nobody could be bold enough to try anything anyways.
you pull your hand from your support, hoping your gaze show your apology as you look at-
ayato?
he glances at you, eyes flicking over you once before returning to his talk with hisashi.
oh fuck.
thoma appears from your other side and takes you by the arm, walking for the entrance to the estate. “come on, let’s get you inside.”
you follow in a daze, still thrown off by the fact that you grabbed the arm of the yashiro commissioner after teleporting. you’re certain that most people would be knocked off in an instant—or worse—if not by him then by those around. you can’t tell which is more shocking: the fact that he didn’t seem upset afterwards, or that hisashi let you get so close in the first place.
the courtyard is full of life, plants lining the outer edge and the raised patio-like platform in the middle. the various workers around the area stare a little more at you than you’d like, but since thoma is besides you they don’t give you much trouble. the emblem of the kamisatos ripples on the flags they’re printed on, moved by a silent breeze.
the guards in front of the door eye you with more suspicion, and step inwards over the door as you approach, spears crossing in an X. thoma’s steps halt unnaturally, and you can see confusion on his face out of the corner of your eye.
“who is with you, retainer?”
“er…”
right. ayato had directed the conversation at the teahouse to your charges, not to you. you never got a chance to tell your name—not that you would have told the truth, incase history tried to repeat itself.
“the commissioner has employed new help,” he said, wisely keeping back the part where you were being hidden from the shogunate. “i am to show them to their quarters.”
the guard’s eyes narrow further, and you can’t find it in yourself to blame them. you don’t look fit for work by a long shot, let alone for somebody as prestigious as the kamisatos.
“come on souta, when have i ever been untrustworthy? the commissioner himself is just behind us, if you don’t-“
the door behind the guards slid open and they rushed not to block the way, glancing first at each other and then to the open doors.
ayaka is standing in the open doorway, barely-concealed curiosity evident in her eyes. in one hand is a fan that covers the lower half of her face, the carefully painted design matching her eyes.
your mind flashes back to when you were introduced to her, when she was sitting behind a screen and thoma said that that was the traditional way to greet guests, or something similar. sure, you’re less of a guest and more… maybe blackmailed is a little too harsh of a word, perhaps more coerced-
“m- my lady?” thoma steps forward, tugging you behind him, and you can’t tell if it’s meant to be protective towards you or her. “what are you doing out here?”
“indeed, it is rather rare for you to be out. i told you i was bringing home somebody, ayaka.” ayato’s voice once more comes out of nowhere, and you turn to see him and hisashi walking up. the latter looks more tense than you’ve ever seen him, and you don’t blame him. considering ayato gave a… warning..
…wait a minute-
“it’s well past when you said you would return,” ayaka points out, voice far more diplomatic than you’d expect from a conversation between siblings. “is it wrong of me to go for a stroll?”
an odd expression flashes over ayato’s face, but it melts into acceptance quicker than you’d expect. “that is fair. i apologize. negotiations took longer than expected.”
you have to bite your tongue to keep from saying something smart in return. the threat of salt also helps, but not nearly as much as the fear of angering him.
something like a laugh comes from ayaka, but you refrain from turning. even if you’re ‘allowed’ to, it feels polite. also, you really don’t want to upset ayato. after everything he’s done, he feels like the largest threat.
(your mind reminds you of how kind his hand was when it settled over yours outside of the estate. you arrive at the conclusion that ayato is strange.)
“come in, then. hisashi, you are dismissed.”
hisashi bows, then sends a questioning look at ayato. the latter nods, and the former turns neatly on his heel, leaving with barely a sound to his footsteps.
thoma pulls at your hand again and you turn to follow, keeping your eyes on his shoes. you figure it’s better not to snoop or get distracted, and considering thoma’s following ayaka…
ayato’s eyes weigh on your shoulders as you walk.
for the second time today, you’re sat in front of tea you have no intent drinking.
it’s smells a little more flowery, and you think you remember catching the word rose, but that could very well be referring to the flower arrangement in the center of the table.
they’re nice. pale pink, in a soft green vase. they still have their thorns, surprisingly, a detail that distracts you from the conversation happening at the table.
first, ayato filled in ayaka on your conversation at the teahouse. second, ayaka asked for thoma’s recount of how you met. third… third you had zoned out, distracting yourself with the details of rose petals.
“-what do you think?”
you jump slightly at thoma’s voice, the sound closer than before and obviously directed at you. glancing around the table reveals no indication of the former conversation, only two other sets of eyes. soft silver looks with genuine feelings, and pale lavender looks a little too smug for your liking.
the latter picks up his teacup. “we’re assuming you don’t want to reveal your name,” he says, taking a drink. you wish his gaze wasn’t so knowing.
nonetheless, you nod.
“thoma was considering maple, since it’s a pretty neutral name.” wait, what did you just agree to? “it’s not inazuman, but it’s also not anything else either. it’s.. an interesting choice, considering its also the name of a tree common on narukami, but i believe it will hide you nicely.”
oh. that’s better than you thought, considering who it’s coming from.
you give a half-shrug and a nod in response, the pen under your hand not worth picking up for such a simple reply.
“well, maple,” ayaka pauses, but the name doesn’t sound awful, and you let her continue, “thoma can show you around, and you’ll start either tomorrow or the day after, depending on how long it takes you to get used to the place.”
sounds reasonable enough. you nod, and thoma speaks up next, nudging your notepad.
“do you have any preferences for where you’d like to work? i’ll keep you out of anything involving a lot of other people-“ you send him a silent thank you “-but just so i know…”
you pick up the pen and write down your choices, hesitating at the bottom before adding ‘but anything’s fine if you’re there.’ is it cheesy? probably, but he’s the person you’re most comfortable around here. he’s been nothing but open and kind, and doesn’t have a reputation to uphold or an agenda to fulfill.
he reads over the paper when you pass it to him, and a quiet pride comes over you as he flushes a bit at your end comment.
“a- alright then! i’ll show you around today, you can shadow me tomorrow, and the day after we can finalize things. sound good?”
you nod, and neither of the kamisato siblings have anything to add either, both silently showing their approval.
you feel yourself smile.
thoma’s work is surprisingly simple.
not that it was easy, of course, because what else would you expect working for a third of inazuma’s government, but it’s… shockingly simple.
he’d warned you the night before that you’d need to wake early, but he wasn’t angry when you didn’t wake up on time. he seemed upset, almost, regret lacing his words as he tugged you out of bed. even as you delayed him further by struggling with the uniform—the nightclothes were easy enough, but this one had so many folds and ties that you got lost embarrassingly quickly—he wasn’t upset. he just led you to the kitchens, where he explained every step of how the lord and lady liked their teas.
ayato prefers black tea, he says, carefully measuring out loose leaves. he takes it with no sugar, and as hot as it can be.
ayaka has been trying new teas from liyue, he mumbles, voice quieter than he intends to be as he stirs in honey. she’s quite fond of dragon’s well, but anything from there will do. feel free to experiment, just be sure it’s not too sweet.
he shows you their respective offices, and you wince at the amount of paperwork on both of their desks. they both greet you with a smile, but you can see how tired they are. absently, you wonder if that same exhaustion is why ayato likes black tea.
thoma’s interactions with them are short, and you waste no time in following him to his next task.
the day passes by easily, thoma’s easy conversation—despite your hoarse voice—easing the load of the work. floors are swept and shelves are dusted, and when he quizzes you on their tea preferences at dinnertime you get it right on the first try.
he beams from his post at the stovetop, bright green eyes shining in the same way dew does on grass. you feel your own smile form in response, and he makes you sit and wait while he delivers dinner—yes, to their offices—no matter how much you protest. he returns swiftly, pulling over a pot that you didn’t realize wasn’t empty and ladling out two bowls of soup.
he slides one over to you, and together you share dinner.
the next day is much the same, as is the next, and the next, and you slowly fall into a routine.
you wake up, the knots on the uniform more familiar than they were at the start, a simple way to start a simple morning. you tidy yourself up and meet thoma on the way to the kitchens, chatting about a dream you had the night before or a diplomat that had arrived yesterday for a meeting. water bubbles and you share a breakfast, the two of you preparing tea side by side.
today you decide to make ayaka a new king of oolong tea that had just come in a few days prior. after all the various security screenings, you could finally make it!
thoma encourages you to take the large platter this time, and you comply, however nervous. you’re watching it more than you are the hallway, making sure that nothing spills, and it pays off when you make it to ayaka’s office without incident.
she looks up with a smile as you come in, and you flash one of your own as you set down the large plate.
“good morning, lady ayaka.”
“good morning, maple. how did you sleep?”
you eye the bags under her eyes as you push over her teacup. “i should be asking you that, my lady.”
she chuckles, picking up the cup for a smell. “this doesn’t seem familiar.. what kind of tea is this?”
thoma looks to you from where he’s sorting out a stack of scrolls, and you recite the information off the box.
“it’s tieguanyin, also known as iron goddess, and is a type of liyuen oolong. it seemed sweet by the smell, so i didn’t put much honey in.”
her smile turns sweeter, an oddly genuine happiness taking you by surprise. “thank you.”
there’s a weight to her words, some other information tucked between the lines that you can’t reach. with a smile and a nod, you pick up your tray.
ayato’s office is strangely far from his sisters, something that confused you the first day and still does now. the only difference is that now you’re familiar with the sprawling layout of the estate, and you can take the right turn without missing it.
he’s much more tired, evident by the delay between when he sees you and speaks.
“maple, thoma. good morning.”
your hand paused over his teacup. ayaka… she hadn’t greeted thoma, had she?
you’re fairly certain there’s an implication there, something that ties into the heaviness of her voice when she thanked you, but you don’t have time to think it over. thoma nudges your side and you snap out of your thoughts, moving ayato’s tea and breakfast off the tray.
“is something wrong?”
you shake your head. “no. something.. caught my attention. i apologize, my lord.”
he picked up the cup with a grin, “oh? i do hope you’re not trying to pry into any yashiro documents.”
you shake your head and he drinks, but thoma catches your arm as you turn to leave. his lips part, something worried shining in his eyes, but ayato cuts him off.
“what is this?”
oh no.
ayato’s black tea was easy to brew, tea wise, and with thoma watching over your shoulder you had assumed it wasn’t burnt.
the housekeeper seems just as confused, the both of you turning back to ayato’s desk. he’s staring at the tea in his cup thankfully not with disdain, but certainly with confusion.
“it’s wakoucha, my lord,” you say. “no sugar. hot as can be.”
“is it a new kind?”
“it’s from the same box as yesterday’s, and all of last week’s.”
he looks to thoma, who nods. “the only difference is that maple brewed it.”
ayato’s eyes flick between the tea, thoma, and you, still not accusatory, for which you’re grateful. you’re not sure you could hide from poisoning the yashiro commissioner as easily as you could hide in liyue.
“…here.”
the cup is passed to thoma, who hesitates before trying some. he’s easier to read than ayato—most anybody is—and you can pick out the emotions in his eyes clearer. shock, delight, and then a careful sort of confusion.
“it’s very strong, though the flavor is perfectly intact… even without sugar, it’s still sweet.” you don’t know enough about tea to discern what that means. “but how? i was watching you the whole time…”
you’re tempted to say something stupid—‘well, i hear that nightshade can be pretty sweet’—but wisely hold your tongue, watching the cup return back to ayato’s hands. he stares at the rim of it for a moment, then a flicker of a smile crosses his face.
“well done,” is all he says, and after another sip, the cup is set down in favor of his pen, the prior conversation dissolving back into the air with nothing more than a glance. “and if you two are planning on going to the city today, do stay away from the docks.”
“are the tenryou receiving a shipment?”
“nothing of the sort, thoma, what do you mean? what reason would i have for directing you away from them?” ayato looks up from his paper, some stupid little scheme glinting in his eyes. “i’ve just received news from the shuumatsuban that the imposter is likely in the area.”
you can’t help the way your shoulders tighten, the office suddenly seeming smaller. though you had admitted as little as you could about why you were hiding from the shogunate, you had never brought up their accusations on this front. intentionally, too, because you knew that no matter how kind anybody could be, religion was a heavy topic in teyvat, inazuma especially.
and when you were staring down a man that held loyalty in high standard, it was wise not to admit such a thing.
the corner of ayato’s lips twitch into a smile. “do be careful, maple. i’d hate for you to get caught up in another incident.”
you cling closer to thoma’s side than you normally would when you two go into the city, your hand linked with his as he speaks with the various vendors. you’re not sure why you two are even in ritou, honestly, but didn’t bother with asking questions.
he’s speaking with a kanjou officer, which he’d addressed by name, oddly, and you’re standing behind him, looking around the city. the maple trees are a pretty pink for spring, making the island look a lot kinder. sure, the outlander affairs agency likely still has the area in a chokehold, and sure it’s run by a literal puppet government, but something could be said about its beauty.
“what do you think about lunch?” thoma asks, and you look back in alarm only to see the kanjou officer long gone, his eyes focused on you.
ah.
“we’re gonna be out for most of the day, and there’s a little food stall here that i like. granted, we could eat at shimura’s…”
you shake your head, “here’s fine, thanks.”
he brightens, pulling you along once more. “great! ryouko makes the best dry-braised fish, or she has fried tofu in a miso broth, if you’d rather?”
you make and tell him your choice, and he nods as you walk down sets of stairs, making note of it. people wave at you two as you pass, and though it’s mostly at thoma, you do see some smiles directed at you. probably just because you’re with him, though.
thoma leads you to the left of the main courtyard, taking you down another small set of stairs. it’s… familiar, the tree behind the sidewalk reminding you of something you can’t pin.
“hello ryouko!”
“hello, and welcome! care to have some specialty snacks?”
you keep a hand on his as you look around, letting him order for you. the food stall was backed against a wall, in a tucked away corner, near the port… if you turned so that you faced the staircase, it clicked.
this was where you met thoma. it was months later, at a wildly different time of day, and you were in a much better place… but you were back here. back when he held your hand much as he did now, in a drastically different context but for much of the same reasons.
guidance. security. promise.
comfort.
“first time in the city?”
you turned to the close voice, jumping slightly when you see the owner. maroon hair shadows grassy eyes, ones that seem to pick you apart—much like ayato, but a lot less subtle. the blue of an anemo vision shines behind the baton of a doushin, and you can feel your heart stop as you face down the best detective in inazuma.
you tug on thoma’s hand and he turns as well, apparently recognizing him. “doushin shikanoin? what are you doing out here?”
heizou crosses his arms with a heavy sigh, some of the tension in the air fading as his eyes fall to the floor. “on ritou, a failed mission. here in particular… well, ryouko’s one of the only in inazuma that makes a good katsu sandwich, and i’m in the market for a pick-me-up.”
“really? what happened? do you want eat with us and talk about it?”
“no no, please. there’s no need to interrupt your little excursion on behalf of little ol’ me.”
what is it with inazuman men with blue visions that makes them adore implying things most would rather say aloud?
“well we’ve got time while our food’s being made, don’t we?”
“mmm…” one of heizou’s hands comes up to his jaw as he thinks, tapping a steady beat. “i suppose i can tell you. after all, it was your boss that tipped me off.”
oh no. who could have ever seen that coming.
“ay- ah, i mean the commissioner?”
“indeed. you see, he’s been using his connections to keep the tenryou updated as best as he can, something any detective would appreciate, even if sometimes the information can be a bit lackluster. recently, he’s gotten a tip that the imposter was planning to leave inazuma tonight through ritou’s port, and madam sara sent me out to check it out. i, of course, looked over his evidence prior to coming, and though it was a little shaky, it’s the best lead we’ve had so far. i even heard from some fishermen that they saw somebody shady boarding a merchant boat, but… no dice.”
thoma’s grip on your hand adjusts, and he squeezes once. you don’t have much time to think it over. “i’m sorry to hear it. i can promise that we’re putting all of our effort into solving the situation as best as we can, and i regret letting them slip from our grasp.”
his voice lacks the usual depth behind it, like… like it’s rehearsed, almost. like he was prepared for this.
heizou’s eyes flick to you, jade green seeming to cut into your soul. “oh, naturally. this is such a pity, don’t you agree?”
subtext laces his words, and you’re left floating in the pause between his sentences. even as it stretches, his mouth slips up in a suppressed grin.
“after all, weren’t you the one who told him?”
you blink.
you didn’t do that. you didn’t tell ayato anything, you never even left the estate unless thoma—or, on occasion, ayaka—was by your side. you never had time to collect information, and you certainly didn’t give it to ayato- didn’t he say that the shuumatsuban gave it to him? didn’t he…
’i’ve just received news from the shuumatsuban that the imposter is likely in the area.’
’he’s been using his connections to keep the tenryou updated as best as he can, something any detective would appreciate…’
‘after all, weren’t you the one who told him?‘
you can see when heizou notices that you get it, the sharp light to his knowing gaze. he rests his chin in his hand and passes you a cheeky wink, one that makes you laugh.
kamisato ayato.
what did you expect?
#i am so sorry this took so long to come out#i wanted to finish ‘duality of man’ first and then the ‘plagued’ request had me in a chokehold#fun fact: every tea listed here exists!!! i did a lot of research on teas for this part :))#if ur curious i prefer black tea with an unreasonable amount of sweet; that may just be because i don’t make tea properly though#something i learned after finally finding the right way online. the box i got didn’t have any instructions so i fucked it up lmao#genshin#genshin impact#genshin sagau#sagau#thoma#sagau thoma#thoma x reader#ehhh sure#ayato#sagau ayato#kamisato ayato#kamisato ayaka#sagau ayaka#anybody wanna guess why i chose the nickname maple? there are two right answers and one is because thoma found you under a maple tree#shikanoin heizou#heizou#sagau heizou#genshin heizou#heizou my beloved <3#i just think he’s a very cool character in a sagau context#esp. imposter aus. mr ultra instinct ’this is only 10% of my power’ falling — genuinely or not — for an imposter…#i just think he’s neat <3#the pacing here is…. oh boy. but hey the plots good!
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...
#bleh. i need half the country to pls stop being on fire. id like to go out and run pls. but its so smokey i can barely see the mountain#i live near :-/ also im just tired and frustrated. its incredible how quickly i vasilate between#things r going well. i should stay in my program and work with cyanos forever. to no no no im not cut out for this. i gotta leave. to yay#let me throw myself head first into consuming every second of my life with working. but only on the things that dont require me to think#which is y im not cut out for this and should be bannished to a world of only doing lab work and following instructions#also i have an screening interview monday for an R0DBT group. so i might b going to control freak classes#assuming i cant convince the lady that im not fit for thr class. which obviously i am bc im my therapist listed the ppl who r#usually put into r0dbt and i was like hm im a lot of those things. but also its 2hrs every week and thats a lot of time. and i feel like im#already on the path away from violently structuring my life specifically bc ive done so much damage#ugh. also i have ridiculously high self standards but i only do anything halfway bc i cant fail if i never try 100%.#so im like a fake control freak. or rather i cant even fully commit to being controlling. im lazy and i dont have the drive.#which almost makes it worse bc im stading at this threshold of control where it destroys me but never actually succeeds in being a perfect#thing. which is def a distorted way to think about it but there u go. ugh. im just tired and my arm hurts too much to draw bc#im older and older everyday. and i dont wanna read papers. i dont wanna grade or work on my presentation. i didn't want to spend 3.5 hrs#doing transfers this morning. and my mom's been dead for 6months and 3 days now. and i still dont kno where ill be a year from now#unrelated
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a mocha pudding recipe
put
1/2c butter 1c sugar 1Tbsp cocoa powder
in a double boiler; bring water to a boil, heat until butter is melted
remove butter from heat then beat in
8 egg yolks
until no streaks remain, then add
1/2c fresh coffee
mix thoroughly, then return to double boiler; cook, stirring constantly, until desired thickness
i adapted this from the joy of cooking recipe for the filling of a lemon tart; once my oven is working right I intend to make a mocha tart. thing, but until it is working right, baking anything even slightly fiddly is a crapshoot
anyway. it's v rich and firm and i'm sure you could whip it full of air and have a light fluffy chocolate/coffee pudding but i like it dense so i didn't
#anyway uhh. this is all volumes i have no idea what the weights for any of these are. 1c is about 240ml and 1tbps is about 15ml#in case you're cooking in a metric kitchen and want to try this out#you'd prolly be fine just using 15g of cocoa powder and 240g of butter?#the recipe format is how joy of cooking presents it and it is the superior recipe format i will not be taking questions at this time#when i was a kid the first time i saw a recipe formatted with the big block of ingredience at the start i just dumped everything in a bowl#and ruined the recipe#bc my formative cooking experience was cooking out of joy of cooking where each ingredient is listed at the time of use#if you like it more chocolate less coffee i'm sure you could replace some or all of the coffee with another liquid like water or milk#i'd probably up the cocoa content if i tried that on account of ''some of the flavor is coming from the coffee''#and you need to replace it with something#edited to add four words to an instruction and make it more clear#cooking#recipe#recipes#pudding recipe#tubmlr cooking
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#can someone tell me that going away this weekend wont kill my cat#i have written a list of instructions and schedules that are 6 pages long#and I have a backup plan incase my roommate cant give him his gabapentin#and if he starts getting really sick I have someone who can drive him to the vet#i just feel so terrible for leaving him during this time but hes been doing okay😭
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FINDING A RECORDING OF THE ANIMALS COVERING "LET IT BE" DURING THEIR 70s REUNION WAS NOT ON MY 2024 BINGO CARD.
#ANGELINA WHEN YOU SEE THIS PLEASE DM ME I HAVE TO SEND YOU A LIST OF IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS#ACTUALLY FALLING ONTO THE GROUND IN TEARS AND HYSTERICS AND A PUDDLE OF DR PEPPER#NOT TO MENTION ERIC SINGING TWO SONGS THAT ALAN WROTE. WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT HOW HAD I NOT PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER YET#ggGGhGHGHGHhghhg#things i said today#ALL BECAUSE THE ANIMALS RELEASED A RANDOM EP ON YOUTUBE THAT FEATURED ERIC SINGING A SONG FROM ALAN'S SELF-TITLED ALBUM#SEPTEMBER 20TH 2024 MARK THIS DOWN IN YOUR HISTORY BOOKS AS A DAY CONNIE EXPLODED
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#tydeblogging#no futher instructions just choose your fave from this list#i promise i dont have a skitty bias it being here again is a coincidence
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⚠️ for them ALLLLL!
- @zeebreezin
Warning:
Ockham: Holds long grudges.
Roberts: Has shrimp neuroses.
Nite: Will sell you to January for one corn chip.
Tamara: Will agree to what you say with no intention of doing it to avoid hurting your feelings.
Jones: Utterly useless in a high-stress situation.
Rubbery Barber Surgeon: For the love of fuck do not try to pay in amber.
Graham: Girl, run.
#ockham#roberts/nite#tamara#jones#rubbery barber surgeon#graham#some bonus advice#if you're on ockham's good side your tether for stupidity is pretty long#you'll be fine#just be polite to roberts and if you're a sequencer do what he says and you shouldn't have a problem#you could even push back on something if you try to explain to him why something isn't advisable or if there's a better way and he'll liste#he's reasonable just unpleasant#tamara means well so she will agree or make promises because that's what you want to hear#and it'll make you happier to hear it#and just keeps pushing it down the line#it's not ill-intended she's just trying not to upset people#at least in the short term#if there's a medical emergency you'll need to yell clear instructions directly at jones#unambiguous commands would likely work#but there's still a good chance he'd stay frozen#he's often paralysed in situations where his choices will have long-reaching consequences#if you can read the sign and not be an asshole around the barber surgeon you'll manage just fine#and graham is what red flags were made for#there is no way to win with graham#don't even bother#(do bother because i personally find it funny)#roberts
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How did you think up each of your concept for your Robo Fizz OCs? Like go in-depth about the choices you made, why you chose their names and such. I want details.
Questions about the fizzies || Accpeting
Oh that's a juicy one… and lengthy too, let's see where we can start. This got so fucking long holy shit pick your fav section idk I'm so rambly-
The very first muse I made was Factory Fizzy, or FF-8842. I can say right away that their factory name, which is the only name they go by, doesn't actually mean anything! I just think it's cute, I really love the number 8. In hindsight, 42 I can make the argument being a subconscious nod to “A hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy”, a book series I loved when I was a teen. 42 is the meaning of life, and FF-8842 is struggling to find the meaning of their life.
But most of all, Four-Two, or Fou-Too, just sounds cute.
They were originally made for a comic that I wanted to draw for the song The Fine Print by The Stupendium, sometimes I just get brainworms when I fixate, and I end up drawing lengthy comics to songs I like. I needed a fizzy to work in the Fizzy Factory for the song, so I made a fizzy with a simple design, clothes with no dyes, “horns” without fabric on them, basically a fizzy that didn't need to catch anyone's eye, nor drain resources and money. This is also why while they're quite strong, they're only 4’1”.
Now I play a lot on the idea of a fizzy that was created with a strong sense of self, of sentience, as soon as they were created. Usually it takes my fizzies a few years to reach sentience, if they ever do… but FF-8842 is a “defect” always at the verge of being scrapped for being too much of a free-thinker. This definitely evolved from the original comic, where they clearly do not possess the same distant look in their eyes as the other fizzies.
The second fizzy I made was The Manager. His name was originally just Office Fizzy, which I later weaved into his backstory instead. I actually asked my friends how I should refer to him, and they liked the simplicity of The Manager, and I think while it might be a little bit of a mouthful, it's oozes just what kind of person he is.
He is the Manager. He makes sure this clock is turned up and ticking.
For the comic, he was originally more of a guide for new fizzies, and of course the one doing the singing/talking in the comic, and if you want a good idea of what his inspiration was, look no further than the song itself. It's all there. Eventually Manager evolved into something different. He became, well, less someone handling the papers in an office, and more of an actual… manager, of the factory.
The idea to make it all Entirely fizzy-made tickled me, and so I tweaked his story a little bit, having him climb from an “Office Fizzy”, to being where he is now, so successful he even managed to alter his own design, which no fizzy of his model has done before… he even owns his own fizzies. Has businesses outside the factory (not to Mammon's knowledge but yknow-) making big cash and giving into greed because of the influence from Mammon, by simply being made in his image, and giving into it. A success story for the ages. He is a control-freak at this point though, to make sure he doesn't lose it all.
I also gave him an Australian accent because he's spending way too much time around Mammon. That's just a fun fact ♡ Also all the green and gold in his clothes also point to how closely he works with Mammon.
Mortis had his name change many times. He went from simply Undertaker, and I considered Morty Briefly… but decided against it real quick. I went with Mort for a while… but I just loved the way Mortis sounded. I know it's wormed into my brain because of Faith (don't ask me about the plot of that game I don't Know) but Mortis just felt Right. Mortis is the Latin noun for Death.
Mortis also came from The Fine Print. There's a section of the song that goes like this;
“If you'd rather drop dead, that's fine
But you know that dropping down dead bears a fine
So you do your job and I'll do mine
I gotta meet a six-foot deep bottom line”
And I don't know, it just fired off my creative juices like… what if there was an undertaker fizzy? That'd be so cool… and so out there xhdbbd. I have always had a complicated relationship with death, so I enjoy writing morticians because of their various different ways to approach the subject. Mortis started off approaching it quite casually… It's hell after all, but the more I wrote him?
I got to put myself in his head and how he was thinking, his life-philosophy, how me having placed him in Wrath affected his outlook, and now he's become almost philosophical, now he's holding sermons in Satan's name and I believe he puts his own beliefs into them… and despite having such a sad job, and how he has to face such misery and grief every day… It's somehow helped him become the most at peace fizzy I've got. Because he understands life and death better than any other fizzy, while also getting to be on his own and expressing and exploring himself best a fizzy can.
He is heavily inspired by the Undertaker in The Backwater Gospel, who is quiet and non-threatening, but his mere presence is enough to send you into a panic.
Why is he here?
Who’s going to die?
He's also heavily inspired by the YouTube channel Little Bubby Child since he's from Wrath and all. I will meme on him til the day I die.
Mizzy got her name from Maid Fizzy, you smoosh the names together you get Mizzy. For a while I also had Dolly as a suggestion, but it didn't really stick with my followers. So it's kinda become a nickname certain fizzies who knew her before the memory-wipe call her, like Thizzy and The Manager.
Mizzy was always meant to be a companion bot, I wanted a fizzy that actually did what the commercial advertised the fizzies to do. I made her a maid because I wanted to play around with her owner being a weeb, and I simply wanted to dress her up in cute little outfits that I knew a guy with his own companion bot would want to see. In time the idea of her once having belonged to Burnie Burnz, Fizzarolli's stalker, wormed itself into my brain… and the misery tripled from there.
I think it was because I wrote out a scene with a friend where I played him briefly before he got eaten by a sandworm (shoutout Beetlejuice the OG), and I recalled his line regarding the fizzies not getting him off right. I wondered what kind of shit a disgusting guy like him would even do to a fizzy if he planned on murdering Fizzarolli, so I, unfortunately, made Mizzy his fizzybot. The only solution was the memory wipe… and that's why she's so head empty most of the time. Her programming is protecting her from remnants at all times.
I really wanted to show how messed up the companion bot situation is with Mizzy, which is why she's been used sparingly. I love a good healing story though, so I've tried to bring her in more where she gets to regain her power and independence and tweaked her current owner to be a little less awful to give her a break… but still awful nonetheless. She's always ripe for fizzy-adoption.
Ginger has changed so much from the original concept. At first she was named Fuzzy, for a fussy fizzy. Then later when I switched up his design, opting for the red design in the commercial I thought looked neat as hell, I decided to go with Ginger instead. It just sounded right, all things considered.
Ginger started out as Fuzzy, who was heavily inspired by Sun from FNAF to be perfectly honest. I have 3 Sun OCs very near and dear to my heart, and I love writing anxious nervous wrecks… so that's what I did for a while. Eventually I leaned into him snapping more and more, running out of patience like Brandon Roger's Mom character, and as I wrote them in IC group chats, I realised more and more that Fuzzy was actually rarely if ever anxious… they were mostly stressed and Irritated.
And I was never happy with the original design… it was cute but didn't spark joy, it felt hasty. I spotted the design in the commercial I liked the most, and I remade everything.
Now Ginger is Something Else Entirely.
She's tired, he's pissed, he's at his wits end, and they're Dangerous if you look at them wrong. They became a Mama Bear, while also something of a Big Sister character… grumpy and with a resting bitch face… but a heart of gold below the surface.
I wanted to explore the fizzy for the kids and teens, the meaningless chores that fizzies have to perform for demons like carrying bags and making dinner and other kinds of butler-stuff, and just how straining tiring and meaningless it all felt, all while Also being a companion for the adults.. Despite Mizzy, Ginger has turned into the fizzy that's the absolute most disappointed with their lot in life, and hates Fizzarolli just about as much as Pinwheel. This is also why they are siblings in the human AU, they've got much in common.
Thizzy is simple. Therapist+Fizzy=Thizzy. Briefly he was called Shrinky, but I left it instead as a nickname he got from Doc, which he absolutely despises, because I could Not take it seriously.
Thizzy was taken from the commercial, I interpreted his neutral face as one of absolute indifference, and I figured this is Hell and this is Mammon so… originally he was meant to not give a rat’s ass about anybody, especially not his patients. However while writing my muse page for this blog, I had him write out short “profiles” for the other fizzies… and I thought Hey… what if he checked up on the fizzies too?
Now he's part of a larger process that The Manager runs where he checks up on the fizzies on the regular to make sure they're doing fine physically but also mentally (at least well enough to perform their tasks), and in time I found that Thizzy actually did care…
He cared too much, which is why he tried to not care at all. Because the alternative was to let it all get to you… Despite not wanting to get involved, it's in his programming to do so, and he's got a good heart, albeit only metaphorically.
Now he's just so tired... and working in the Sloth Ring doesn't help this.
His relationship with Doc is the result of when he was still in his early years and just performed his tasks as he was programmed to do… and now he's stuck in this unhealthy toxic relationship where he has to make sure Doc is happy all the damn time. Luckily for him, he mostly is. At least as a robot-
Finally, Doc! Doc is easy enough, he's Doc because he's a doctor! I did consider Doccy but it reminded me of. Another word, so I backtracked bxhrhe. I worried it'd be too generic but… it just fits. He's Doc. Nothing else fits like Doc does ♡
I just stared at the screen when Doctor Fizzy came on. Those colours. That Forced Grin, those soft little cheeks… that blank fucking stare. This was an unhinged doctor-character and I needed him in my life. My cringe, emo, deviantart-browsing, gore-loving, Higurashi-watching, Hatoful Boyfriend-playing, problematic teenage-self... they needed this.
He hasn't actually changed much at all. He was always inspired by those crazy doctors you see in anime, games and horror movies. Their silly giggles and the over the top surgeries and bone saws and all that stuff.. he's my horror and gore-character, for when I want to write a bit of this and that, which I do find a lot of fun.
I don't know what really made him as flamboyant as he is… I think just the nature of him being a crazy doctor character while also being a sex bot… and when I discovered the Bubblegum Coquette aesthetic- and in time I developed his relationship with Thizzy. His clinginess opened up the idea of how he's probably not got a lot of connections because of how “intense” he is, and while he's not quite as sentient as the rest… he's getting there, every time he reflects on how lonely he is.
His only way to connect with others was by keeping body parts of whomever he operated on, that was All he was ever able to get his hands on fair and square(?).. and he started getting unhealthily attached to those parts. Now he actively seeks them out because it's the only form of love and attachment he understands so far, and if he gets attached to people to a strong degree, there's a chance it turns into love/obsession, which will push him further into sentience, and so on now we have a yandere too.
Cringe.
But at least I'm free.
He's the perfect example of when a robot is Not taught how humans and emotions actually work, and now he's already registered what he knows as truths and facts.
Imma not cover Imposter too much cus really I just got inspired by that That's not my neighbour-song before I even knew there was a game, and I wanted to make a strong fizzy for quite some time, that could work as Manager's bodyguard to make him pose more of a threat than he did on his own. I loved the black and white aesthetic because of absolute neutrality, and my fiance mentioned that it looked like a pierrot and I was like Hell yeah accidental pierrot let's go-
They obviously has a bit of Ennard from FNAF in them, or the Mimic or whatever that new enemy is called... I think it's a pretty natural robot-plot device at this point. It is a fun bot to play in group chats where I can pretend to be my other muses and wait and see how long it takes my fellow muns to realise there's a question mark at the end of the tupper bot's username. It communicates through motions and clicks, sign language, when it isn't disguised, and is very mischievous and a troublemaker.. I dunno, the inspiration is "gremlin".
#input command [ asks ]#instruction manual [ hcs ]#see my name on the list? [ imposter fizzy ]#sorry i wasn't listening [ therapist fizzy ]#like a cheshire cat i think that you are just a grin [ doctor fizzy ]#call me baby doll [ maid fizzy ]#have you seen my son [ caretaker fizzy ]#the last man standing in our sinister charade [ undertaker fizzy ]#you should've read the fine print my friend [ manager fizzy ]#we work to earn the right to work [ factory fizzy ]#long post#this took. years
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Man, just saw a post about it, but renewed my frustration over work nonsense yesterday
Being like, oh, cool! It's disability pride month! We get to switch the displays in the store! I wanna make a really cool display right up front!!
Getting a cart to go start selecting books from our wide array of children's books, picture books, YA novels, adult fiction, nonfiction, etc that I know feature disabled characters and people and that I've seen sitting on the shelves for a while, our previous book buyer was always suuuuuper vocal about finding books w disabled characters, after all, representation just MATTERED SO MUCH to her,
And then being absolutely dumbfounded when we BARELY HAVE ANYTHING outside of characters w ADHD/Autism. MAYBE anxiety. PERHAPS a character has cancer. THE FAINTEST SUGGESTION of a wheelchair in one book. Huntington's? Question mark? In another? Conditions resulting in disfigurement/amputation? The concept could possibly exist in this book, uhh.. maybe...... anything else? Ha! Not on these shelves I fucking guess?!
Like.... we have a ton of books w queer rep! Different body types! Different skin tones! Teach your toddler about social justice! Transgender characters! Nonbinary characters! The alphabet but we're making it gay! At least one book, I think, with asexual characters! But no, we don't have our self-empowerment books anymore or the little guide to sexuality and disability, we have Buddhist monk advice for anxious people, but nooooo we DON'T have that cool book that talked about disability activism anymore, and definitely not in time for July!
I know she and I were at odds before she left, and I know my specifically putting "National month of..." prompts up on my desk calendar after she expressed it was "so difficult to find out what each month is the month of!" probably really irritated her, but I'm like. Appalled that she hadn't been ordering to restock for disability pride month since she always made such a big deal about having books like that in the store.
#venting#work stuff#she quit at the end of june#two of my coworkers and I are sorta filling in for her role while a replacement is searched for and all that#i know she put in a ton of orders before she left so I'm hoping things start to trickle in#i haven't gone thru the order submissions in detail yet to see what we're expecting#but i'll be doing that later this week#as it is today was dealing with a mess of half unpacked shipments#and correcting little mistakes here and there and leaving instructions for coworkers tomorrow#gotta say i was so... disappointed hunting for those books#i looked at the sad selection of nonfiction and self help stuff I'd found and was like. yeah i think I'd be offended#if i saw these titles all grouped together for the pride display. it just felt bad#i made a halfway decent arrangement for the children's section but it took a lot of title research#and even then like half the titles i saw in recommendation lists looked so cool and i would think#surely we should have THIS one bc it looks like the sorta thing Buyer would have ordered and it seems neat as hell!#but. uh. we would have no order history for it.#hhhrrhhrhrhrgh if i see absolutely nothing in the orders we will be expecting#I'm gonna order a bunch of books#and try to plan out the next couple of monthly themes#hmph! even if I'm not the books person I'm still gonna put in SOME effort!!
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baking never feels more like science to me than when i'm trying to cobble together an intricate multi step recipe together from several different recipes and tutorials online because the recipe I'm imagining doesn't exist....
#genuinely feels like a science experiment making something fancier than a frosted layer cake#have to do all kinds of volume and weight conversions because one recipe is japanese and the other is indian and the other is english lmfao#none of the recipes are probably the exact volume I need so i might have to make some minis with my extra stuff#i have to find a very precise sheet pan size tomorrow for the patterned cake i'm gonna use as the outer bit#otherwise i'll have to make my own from parchment paper??? or tin foil??? man idk.....#i had to write out all of my instructions and ingredient lists so i don't have to go between 6 different websites tomorrow/sat#i had to do research on fucking. gelatine 😭because it's impossible to find gelatine sheets here and they're used in EVERY mousse recipe#and there's apparently a huge debate on what the ACTUAL conversion of sheet gelatine to powdered gelatine is for baking#I also had to type up like an exact order to make each component because most need a significant amount of cooling time#grayson im gonna try my hardest to make you this fancy ass lemon cake and i pray i succeed this time where i failed on my own birthday#2 yrs ago but also i think this will go better bc i'm not doing a jelly insert or a candied mirror glaze#I'm also making my own candied lemons and lemon curd even though i don't have to#mostly because i wanna try doing it and the sheer power of getting to say i made the whole thing from scratch *#minus the actual cake mix because i don't have a good from scratch cake track record and box mixes are so so reliable#and i have too many moving parts to worry about finding a new cake recipe#every fucking cake recipe now is a fucking genoise sponge for SOME REASON#which is NOTORIOUSLY DIFFICULT AND A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS BECAUSE IT USES NO RISING AGENTS#i want to throttle whoever it was that made online recipe people turn to only using variations of a genoise sponge for their cake recipes#honestly i need to maybe join the baking subreddit and ask for some good old baking/cookbooks with reliable baking recipes#ones that aren't crazy labor intensive for fucks sake i'm not a french patisserie#my stuff#it would be cool to one day have baked enough and have enough know how of how standard baking recipe components work#so i can just come up with my own recipes on my own#and just use whatever flavors i want#i feel like i would enjoy being a baker except if i had to make wedding cakes
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woooo my niece took 5 of my 13 lego sets, one of which was one of the three larger ones, so that's one huge box out of the way and i'm just glad she wanted them because like they ARE twenty years old and they look fine ofc but sometimes kids aren't gonna want stuff that isn't new and shiny ya know, but she did seem to want everything which would've been fine with me but i knew there was no way they would take all that with them, and at least i still have stuff of my own to sell, plus should get at least a cut of my brother's stuff for doing the inventory and putting together that stuff that wasn't already done
#i mentioned the hp sets and how they had been pretty much left together and he was like '....i had harry potter sets?'#which once he saw them he did think they were familiar which was some of my feeling with mine#like oh YEAH i do remember these i just didn't remember having so many#i mean between 13 sets it's really like 3 categories so i would've played with like the whole ice palace and its related sets#i do just wonder how it'll be at the store like everything is pretty much in fine shape#and probably there are people who want older stuff that's rarer and whatever now#BUT then there might be more of a demand for newer stuff at a better price or whatever idk#anyway 6 sets left in the upstairs and then the bionicles and statue of liberty are still in the attic#i'm still not convinced there couldn't be another box somewhere bc idk how to explain the few sets#that are missing so much that i can't actually do them bc even if we had gotten rid of some why would we not include the huge base or w/e#anyway we'll see! but i'm getting closer! and i did a little one this morning#that seemed to be complete it didn't list some of the pieces as extras but based on the instructions i figure they have to be#so i don't really need them like i'll include them if i find them and they're not needed for something else but yeah#anyway i can go back to fic though these first two at least are short so i may be going back to another one tomorrow#can't wait to have my room back though fr like#it is not the only thing making it feel messy because i have newer jewelry and clothes and stuff that i just have to organize and put away#but man the jewelry situation is just. it's not even having so many pieces it's like big earrings that take up a lot of space or whatever#so i just have not wanted to deal with it but it's kinda out of hand#but i can really think about that after this particular project is done#and do puzzles again oh my god i have 3 puzzles waiting for me at least#plus my mom always has a bunch to be done since everyone knows to buy her puzzles lol but that has also gotten out of hand#i wouldn't mind getting rid of a couple of mine though just bc it is like okay you do it but then you just have it and it takes up space#would be cool to have pretty ones framed tho
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saddest thing about voting by mail is i don't get a fun sticker like everyone else
#sasha speaks#ive never gotten to vote in person#my first election was in lockdown and subsequent ones have been while im at school out of state#they need to put a sticker in the ballot envelope. with the instructions and list of write in candidates. so i can feel included
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