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stepswowdsen · 5 months ago

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KuroEne AU: Ene gets intimate with Kuroha (Part 2)

KuroEne AU: Ene gets intimate with Kuroha (Part 1)

Not sure if links are gonna work when I'm on priv but here! You can refer back to the first post if you'd like to get the full context and read the rest.

KuroEne AU: Ene gets intimate with Kuroha (Part 2)

Summary: Ene hate fucks Kuroha. The End.

KuroEne AU Rambles

I'm gonna preface this with my rambles first before I post my KuroEne AU dialogue scripts. At the very least I want my rambles and ship ideas to be interesting to read. Hopefully this is interesting <3

I feel like Notion changed their font omg

Also just for those who aren't familiar with my AU ideas. My depictions of my ships (including their bedroom intimacy), are ALWAYS mutually consensual. And I always make sure to make my ship depictions as healthy as possible. At least, as healthy as we can get with Kuroha/Saeru, anyways. Like we ARE dealing with a chara who's basically the equivalent of a serial killer, causing an eternal time loop tragedy by constantly killing the protag cast.

Ene hate fucks Kuroha, acting on her complicated feelings and desire for him, and Kuroha loves teasing her. In Kuroha/Saeru's words, they indulge in pleasure together.

In canon verse, their relationship is so messy and complicated and angst heavy and tinged with tragedy, and that's what makes it fun~~

Though ofc I also enjoy dealing with them in more lighthearted AUs too.

Ene tries to convince herself that she's just doing this to defeat him, but Kuroha tells her the real reason - she seeks warmth and companionship, and because of his knowledge of the previous routes (past timelines) and experiences, he knows her and her desires intimately.

It's a requirement for me for the MLW ships I'm obsessed with to have at least one meow meow mf (and if not that, a chara of a secondary trope I enjoy), to be messy and complicated and funny, and for at least one of the characters to be able to be HC'ed/interpreted as queer)

Like it's obvious that KuroEne works so well as a ship due to their unique context and dynamic (Kuroha/Saeru's character context and HaruTaka and KonoEne's existence), and KagePro's setting.

Like I would NOT be into it if it was just some generic ass Hate/Love trope MLW ship (a trope I despise most of the time unless it's good), cuz most Hate/Love MLW ships are bad and uninteresting.

Random unsorted dialogue script drafts I wrote. Gonna have to add to these sometime but for now they're unfinished. I like Kuroha teasing blushy embarrassed Ene~

Since both submissive Ene and more assertive dominant Ene appeals to my gay side teehee 🤭 I had lots of different separate scenario ideas in mind, so I tried to include the context in which I wrote these

KuroEne Rambles (Continued)

Me: Why is an AU where Ene has hate sex with Kuroha/Saeru so interesting and fun to write for

I mean, I know why. It's because Ene can actually interact with him and others (Mekakushi Dan members) physically now that she isn't just stuck in electronic devices (Shintaro's phone and computer).

I like writing a lot about their intimacy, but now that Ene can move around in the real world and so he can take her places, like to the amusement park.

Also just for those who aren't familiar with my AU ideas. My depictions of my ships (including their bedroom intimacy), are ALWAYS mutually consensual. I always make sure to make my depictions as healthy as possible. Like we're dealing with a chara who's basically the equivalent of a serial killer causing a time loop tragedy

Ene hate fucks Kuroha, acting on her messy complicated feelings (and secretly, desire) for him, and Kuroha loves teasing her. In Kuroha/Saeru's words, they indulge in pleasure together. From Kuroha's end it's not hate, but interest and curiosity.

Ene tries to convince herself that she's just doing this with him to defeat him, but Kuroha tells her the real reason - she seeks warmth and companionship, and because of his knowledge of the previous routes (past timelines) and experiences, he knows her and her desires intimately.

In canon verse, their relationship is so messy and complicated and angst heavy and tinged with tragedy, and that's what makes it fun~~

Though ofc I also enjoy dealing with them in more lighthearted AUs too. They deserve to just be cute together in fanon AUs

God, this ship is so fucking spicy. I looove how much conflict and tension they have. I'm remembering why I was so in love with them AHHH.

I think Ene's assertive, bold and brazen, cheeky, competitive personality fits so well with someone like Kuroha/Saeru. They fit sooo well together.

Cuz while she doesn't actually have the upper hand, like she only "wins" against him in their "games" cuz he lets her, she can still surprise him with how predictably unpredictable she is. And just having that little win over him is good enough for her.

Kuroha obliges and lets her top/dominate him. He is interested to see how things play out with Ene leading their intimacy, cuz he wants to see how far she'll go when she wants something (him). Like her topping just proves she WANTS to do this with him, no matter what she says (since Ene is very tsundere).

KuroEne rambles

One more thing: As I said before, Ene seems very… bottom ngl, but I wanted her to be more assertive and dominant to match someone like Kuroha/Saeru to at least balance things out more… alleviate the power imbalance slightly. Ene is very bold and brazen and confrontational. It's fun when she takes charge and takes the lead in their intimacy too! Kuroha obliges and lets her.

Also, I said this before that, in canon verse, Kuroha/Saeru inherently has a power imbalance with every character that he could be paired with due to his context (ie. power in physical strength and power over knowledge). Though, that's not inherently a bad thing.

Imo you just need to tread carefully with Kuroha's ships so that they're still portrayed with care. Like imo it can still be done. I do make sure to make the relationship and setting as healthy as possible, at least, as healthy as you can get with Kuroha/Saeru, anyways.

Cuz I needed something to balance how, in Kuroha ship AUs, Kuroha/Saeru clearly weaponizes his words and knowledge against the chara he's paired with, with how he knows about Ene's love for Haruka, her special, complicated relationship and friendship with Konoha, and her personal vulnerabilities and secrets.

And even letting her have that form of control in intimacy is still like playing a game to him. The knowledge that he could take back that control at any time, still plays up to and feeds his ego.

Cuz Kuroha would be all like, "Oh, you think you're in control here, just because I'm letting you do what you want?"

He'd be interested to see how things play out with Ene leading cuz he wants to see how far she'll go when she wants something (him).

Kuroha knows that Ene thinks that she's the one who's in charge of the situation, the one in charge of their bedroom intimacy, just because he willingly gives up control. Ene would be surprised with how… seemingly calm and compliant he is about it, and so, decides to take the lead.

But he knows who's really in charge of their intimacy. It's an ego boost for him.

Ofc I like submissive bottom Ene too cuz it fuels my gay side, but more assertive dominant Ene also drives me crazy. Love both <333

Ene: I got it!!! I'm going to use my Ultra~ Cute~ Cyber Girl~ Techniques on you and seduce you and impress you with my skills!! Just watch!!! (>:D) Kuroha: Cut it out with the jokes, will you? (^-^)

God, this ship is so fucking spicy. I looove how much conflict and tension they have. I'm remembering why I was so in love with them AHHH

I think Ene's assertive, bold and brazen, competitive personality is the perfect fit to counter someone like Kuroha/Saeru. They fit sooo well together. Out of Kuroha/Saeru's possible ships, they make SUCH a good ship.

I think that ship-wise, Ene and Shintaro work best with Kuroha/Saeru, due to the special relationship they had with Haruka, and now Konoha.

Some of my fave lines that I wrote

Kuroha tells Ene that he'll take her to the brink of "pleasure"

Kuroha: I'll let you taste the biting fangs of love, and the intoxicating poison of pleasure… Kuroha: And yet, you crave this, Ene. You knowingly drink from the fountain of poison. Kuroha: I'll take you even further… I'll push you to the brink, and let you fall with me into the abyss. Ene—

Like aghhhh these ones are so good

Some of the most banger dialogue I've ever written has been for my JuAli AU and KuroEne AU like OMGGG

Other rambles

Ene realizes that Kuroha/Saeru's retention of memories, and recounts of their intimate moments together, are WAY too "clear" and vivid and specific to make up on the spot. Like it fully explains why he knows sm about her (her past, wants, and desires, and bedroom preferences). He's not lying.

We actually don't know how clear Saeru's retention of memories of previous routes is, so in my KuroEne AU, I just assumed he remembers everything in specific detail. Like a memory bank you can draw upon.

I feel like Ene gets mad at him when Kuroha/Saeru starts flaunting his knowledge of her from previous routes, especially their moments of intimacy together, cuz to her, it makes it seem like he is not taking her seriously. But Kuroha probably tells her that he IS taking her seriously, and that he would not be here, playing the game with her, if he wasn't.

Ene: You started doing it so many times it started to become like a game to you...! Kuroha: Is that what it seems like to you, Ene? Oh, but I am taking you very seriously. Your anger, hatred, and desire… They all fuel me. Kuroha: You are mistaken about that, Ene. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't, hm? Since we are both participants in this game of ours—

Ene: Maybe because you started learning, after doing this so many times— When did you start pretending to be human? Ene: Snake of Clearing Eyes. I want to fog up your eyes……

She probably bites back to him that, him getting to know and bond with them before killing them, is honestly even more cruel than just killing them. It's like building a tower of blocks only to tear it down yourself, and his "playing around with peoples' lives" is like experimenting with taking out said blocks just to see it all come crashing down (ie. like the block game Jenga)

And Kuroha probably tells her that he will not give up his goals/plans (since he wants to live forever). Since he is someone inherently dark and selfish (unlike the rest of the KagePro cast), he will continue to go through with causing the "Tragedy" because he sees it as a way so that he can live forever, and also, a way to meet the other party again (in this case, Ene), endlessly, forever and ever. He prioritizes his own plans/motives.

He tells her that he is the observer of the world since the beginning of time, has seen its past, and while he knows how each route will end up, at the very end (the inevitable outcome), he cannot predict the future, and so, he experiments with different possibilities. He wants to see where each of those possibilities take him, this time, and the next, next, time. What fuels him is "curiosity."

He knows Ene, and wants to know more about her, to add to his knowledge, to continue to indulge in "pleasure" with her, to see what's the same and what's different from previous routes.

Ene, someone who generally avoids confronting her feelings, doesn't want to face and confront the fact that the one who knows her most intimately (in the context of a KuroEne ship AU), is her greatest enemy.

Unsorted Dialogue Scripts

As always, you can read more about my rambles about them under the cut! I love them sm~

5/13 Rambles

At one point I was considering Ene saying "I love you Haruka" repeatedly when she fucks him (Kuroha) to try and drown out the reality of who she's actually doing this with, and Kuroha teasingly saying "Saying someone else's name during sex is such a bad habit of yours" but I thought that might be a little too cruel ADHDSJJDSJ.

I decided against it mainly cuz Ene refuses to think of Konoha as "Haruka" and calls him an impostor instead. She wouldn't see them as the same.

5/15 ~ 5/16 Rambles

Me when I realize I can just yoink the CopyBot concept for my KuroEne AU 🖤 💙

This is how we serve 🫡 LMAO

NetsuAi (Netto/Iris) my beloved 🧡 💜 🦋 The only good MLW ship in MMBN/EXE

I was just thinking about this but imo having something similar to a CopyBot from BN6 (Mega Man Battle Network 6) in my KuroEne AU could actually be a solution for Ene not being able to manifest into the real world

Like, I was thinking of having something similar to a CopyBot, except it's a humanoid android/robot body with human flesh that Ene can just transfer into? And when it runs out of battery, she just goes back to the cyber world.

Similar to how Iris (MMBN/EXE) does.

Except the Copybots in BN6 don't have human flesh, they're just default base bodies that just take the appearance/form of the NetNavi (Network Navigator, peoples' digital companion AIs in MMBN/EXE) that's currently in it.

And the CopyBots have a safety lock mechanism, so they can't use Battle Chips or go rogue or anything. And the CopyBots need to be charged when they run out of battery.

The MMBN (Rockman.exe) anime has the Dimensional Areas (artificially created field in which NetNavis can materialize in the real world) too but I think having something similar to a CopyBot would be the best bet

I don't watch Sci-fi movies but I'm sure there are sci-fi movies that explore similar kinds of concepts.

Kuroha/Saeru has knowledge from everything from the start of civilization… Shintaro in the KagePro LNs compares Saeru to "a living encyclopedia with a full grasp of everything from the start of civilization up to modern science."

I can't even imagine the amount of knowledge he has in his possession. That amount of knowledge is unfathomable to me. Absolutely insane.

So that LN bit confirms that Kuroha/Saeru carries knowledge of the history of mankind and its technologies over (probably) millions or thousands of years.

Especially when Japanese scientists in 2022 figured how to develop living human-like skin on a robot that can heal when cut. So yeah I definitely think he could get it done (especially for the sake of my KuroEne AU)

KuroEne Rambles

Actually I'm gonna call KuroEne a big brain rare pair, cuz it's very sense making to me. Wouldn't be the first time I big-brained with a rare pair (ie. KuroEne (KagePro), IdaTatsu (WATGBS AU), JuAli (Magi), EdRich (ROTRK), HaoRen (SK))

When I was first returning to KagePro, I initially thought that the Kuroha = Saeru reveal made it harder to work with my ship in canon-verse, but ever since then, I've still found tons of ways to make my ship work in canon-verse AUs, and KuroEne's concept is spicy as hell imo.

KuroEne is using HaruTaka and KonoEne as a basis for the ship. It's so sexy because they have the most conflict/tension and angst of all of Takane/Ene's "Haruka lookalike" harem ships (/lh), due to Kuroha being the main antagonist, and main source of tension/conflict in KagePro's plot (as the main instigator of tragedy)

Canon-verse KuroEne is an angsty af ship, it's something intense, like something poised to strike. There's much higher stakes in it, and I love interesting conflict/tension <333

I was just thinking about this like in Manga Route 2, Saeru possesses Hibiya's body and talks about how "Despair" is the root emotion that drives human wishes (and strong desire), which is why he needs to keep the despair going.

He wants to keep driving Marry and the Mekakushi Dan's despair to force Marry to reset the timeline to continue the tragedy forever.

Despair and desperation drives desire, to him. That definitely makes sense. But I would also put in my 2 cents that "Pleasure" is what drives human desire. And excitement and fulfillment.

And with someone as ancient as him, who possesses knowledge all the way from the birth of civilization to the modern age… Saeru must understand that. Since he takes pleasure and excitement in killing the Mekakushi Dan.

His desires and motivations are dark and selfish. He prioritizes his goals and self-preservation above all else. That's what makes a character like him so fun.

Like eventually, with enough time loop resets, he's gonna get bored of JUST killing everyone. Kuroha should explore what "Pleasure" and the pursuit of pleasure really means. And sensual pleasures are apart of that.

My KuroEne AU is basing itself on this concept, that eventually, Kuroha/Saeru is gonna start experimenting and messing around and playing around with different possibilities and find new ways to entertain himself.

In my KuroEne AU, he entertains and goes along with the ideas of actually getting to know the Mekakushi Dan members before moving forward with the "Tragedy" (his plan to force Marry to reset the world). He gets to bond and spend time with them for once, and he finds that this makes things new and interesting and exciting.

So it makes sense to me that in ship AU settings, he would eventually delve in pleasure (and pleasure in all its forms), including sensual pleasures, like intimacy.

The only love that Kuroha/Saeru would possess would inevitably be very dark and selfish, because he is that way, at his core. And so, you could bring in THIS sort of element into Kuroha ship AUs (and in my case, my KuroEne AU)

"If I keep doing this (forcing the world to reset), then I'll get to meet you forever and ever, for all of eternity… Doesn't that sound wonderful?"

Kuroha/Saeru should tell Ene something like, "Sensual pleasures are the most primal and raw form of connection, after all?"

Similar to Douman and Kiara's "illness filled love - craving heart" but he lacks their softer traits. Cuz Douman and Kiara respectively ABSOLUTELY show much softer/tender sides to people they love.

It just makes sense to me that someone as ancient as Kuroha would eventually explore different pleasures and ways to amuse himself? Like I'm reminded of Idate (WATGBS AU) is ~500 years old in our WATGBS AU's lore, represents "Pleasure" and "Emptiness"

Idate is a void demon who represents emptiness and constantly indulges in his own greed and pursuit of pleasure and excitement to drown out the sorrow he feels. But he still feels "empty" inside cuz the pleasure wasn't enough. At some point, sensual pleasures, etc., didn't feel fulfilling anymore. The orca twins Idate and Takama have never known soft love, only survival and death, and so, Idate struggles with feelings of loneliness and apathy.

Why Ene would even be intimate with Kuroha in my KuroEne AU:

I'd imagine that she'd feel very conflicted about him. She hates him but also feels strangely drawn to him. And well… Ene is in a very peculiar situation to begin with, with him. She is acting on her curiosity.

Imagine the main big bad villain being a guy who is in the body and has the face and voice of the person you loved (Haruka), is in the body of the person who's your friend that you can't help but have a soft spot around (Konoha), and looks exactly just like them but with a darkened colour palette, and is the guy who's been killing you and all your friends as the main big bad, who knows all your secrets and everything about you, and your Eye Ability, and your past, etc.,

Like this situation is fucking surreal.

This then gives them a "strange" kind of connection, largely due to curiosity (that Ene can't help but have), despite hating him. She acts on her curiosity and desire and need for connection.

KuroEne AU rambles

In my KuroEne AU, Kuroha/Saeru refers to his memories of being intimate with Ene in previous routes (timelines) as "dances" because it's a deliberate reference to Ene's gamer name back when she was a human (Takane), "Lightning Dancer Ene"

So yeah it's basically him showing off his knowledge, just how much he knows.

Kuroha/Saeru ships are like the only time I have ships where one chara has THIS MUCH of an advantage or leverage over the other in the ship, in terms of knowledge and physical capabilities (and also due to Kuroha's character role and set-up of constantly killing the main cast)

At first, Ene's in utter disbelief, like WHY does this guy know SO much about her (things that only her friends from 2 years ago would know, especially Haruka), but then, when she finds out about his identity as the Snake of Clearing Eyes, and the sheer amount of knowledge in his possession due to his nature as an Eye Ability Snake, it makes more sense to her.

Also, he does it to be poetic, since he's teasing her enough. Dude is fucking ancient, he's older than human civilization itself, according to the KagePro universe and worldbuilding lore

Referring to Part 1 of my KuroEne AU rambles post:

Just a headcanon but I'd imagine the olden/archaic speech patterns to transfer over a bit… Though he probably adapts well due to his knowledge.

Takane's full online gamer name was “Dancing Flash Ene” (閃光の舞姫・エネ, Senkou no Maihime - Ene), where Maihime (舞姫) means "Dancer girl.” The name Ene comes from Enomoto Takane

KuroEne Rambles (Misc)

Saeru was created as an Eye Ability Snake in response to Azami's first, original, strongest desire - She wanted to know who she was. But Saeru watched Azami's desire change from wanting to know who she was to caring for her family, and holds a disdain for humans and the world for changing his Master's wish. The "desire" that created him in the first place, his purpose, and his existence, was eventually forgotten by her.

He was created for the purpose of fulfilling wishes. But once that purpose is fulfilled, he'll disappear. So he makes sure to never completely fulfill his host's wishes.

Also, I just realized KuroEne technically have a parallel going on. Ene has a pseudo immortal body due to Ene's Eye Ability, Opening Eyes (目が覚め, Me ga Sameru), and Kuroha/Saeru wants to preserve his own life (by forcing Marry to reset the world), and live forever through infinite loop resets, and continue living on at least until his purpose is fulfilled.

#kagepro #kagerou project #kuroha #saeru #me ga saeru hebi #saeru hebi #snake of clearing eyes #black konoha #dark konoha #enomoto takane #takane enomoto #kuroene #kuroha x ene #dark konoha x ene #black konoha x ene #sen's ideas

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celinefoh · 5 months ago

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Week 8: Digital Citizenship and Health Education: Body Modification on Visual Social Media

Hi, welcome again! In this week's topic, we are going to talk about digital citizenship and health education: body modification on visual social media. Which social media influencers do you follow who often post photos of their body modifications? What thoughts do their posts inspire in you regarding body modification?

In the last three decades, body modification has become increasingly common in the West. The most noticeable trend is the rise in tattoos and body piercings, as evidenced by the abundance of rings and studs on tongues, eyebrows, noses, and other body parts (grumpychipp 2023). In today's electronically connected culture, social media platforms such as Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest have evolved into powerful instruments for self-expression and community development. Among the plethora of fads that emerge on these platforms, body modification—from tattoos and piercings to more drastic procedures—stands out as a particularly active and visible movement. It appears that social media platforms have a significant role in motivating individuals to pursue improved physical and aesthetic well-being. Although these visual aids can be inspiring and potent, they also raise important questions about digital citizenship and health education. The Hindu practices of nose piercing, neck elongation, and henna tattooing in Thailand and Africa; the dental filing practice in Bali; the lip piercing and earlobe stretching in Africa; and the circumcision of both sexes in many regions of the world are examples of body modification practices that are practiced worldwide (Bradley University: Body Modification & Body Image n.d.).

A growing number of body-positive movements are indeed spreading throughout social media, encouraging users—especially women—to join and change how they look. For example, searching for the hashtag #fitspiration on Instagram results in images of people with toned, thin bodies. By allowing users to connect with others who share their values and peruse fitness-related photos and videos, this tag hopes to inspire people to lead more balanced and healthy lives. These activities have made people more conscious of their appearance and more conscientious of their physical well-being; to reach their objectives, they are engaging in gymnastics and losing weight. I would want to ask you this: have you ever looked up a hashtag connected to body modification?

On Instagram, there is an account called Lilyewenfitness. She is an online coach who helps women be the best version of themselves. In her post, we can see that many women have grown and learned so much that many of them manage to achieve their goals and become better. She also shares her workout details, her lunch/breakfast recipe, and more. She also runs a coaching program called "Lift with Lily." She provides individualized exercise and nutrition plans based on each client's objectives. Her strategy focuses on creating a healthy relationship between training and nutrition as well as long-term results. She uses an app to give her clients round-the-clock support, tracking their progress, setting objectives, and sharing wellness and fitness-related information.

In summary, social media movements that support body positivity and the emergence of body alteration trends have been crucial in encouraging healthier lives. People such as Lilyewenfitness are prime examples of how internet platforms can be used to assist people in their quest to become the healthiest versions of themselves.

Reference

grumpychipp 2023, Body modification vs. social media: Is there any connection?, Spiderum, viewed 7 June 2024, <https://spiderum.com/bai-dang/Body-modification-vs-social-media-Is-there-any-connection-HUk3sCwKK5l1>.

2. Bradley University: Body Modification & Body Image n.d., Home | Bradley University, viewed 7 June 2024, <https://www.bradley.edu/sites/bodyproject/disability/modification/>.

#mda20009 #outfit #fitness

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raddragoncrown · 2 years ago

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Isotopes of the Earth's Hydrosphere

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decaffeinatedfoxartisan · 2 years ago

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Love Language 12 Dating Terms you never Knew Existed (and you might Want to Know)

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As far as dating apps go Tinder has significantly went down and I would say try else where unless you want to spend a lot of money for no results and am already regretting my decision and it has been a huge waste of money. It is your responsibility to conduct due diligence on all Thai girls; vet who they say they are and what it is they want. Adult Dating One does not conduct criminal background screening of its members. We know there are a lot of concerns people have before using Ukraine dating sites, but this one is legitimate and offers official services without anything suspicious. A lot of them are interested in serious relationships with real men. Find local singles and other besocial members that share your same interests and make a real connection. If you have any questions about any of those, make sure to contact the customer support. We are willing to work hard to make you money with our online dating software. Right now, they’re just focused on work.

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Unfortunately, some websites tend to scam people by providing low-quality services, posting pictures of people who don’t even know about the service. Don’t talk only about yourself. My secret tip for a great first date is going on a walk or small hike, because I despise the pressure of having to stare across the table at someone I barely know, feeling forced to talk and be interested in them. Q: What if I match with someone who's not "my type"? call girls Once you like someone back or other users respond to your likes, you will become a match. For example, you can choose to match with people who attend the same events or who are a part of the same Facebook groups. A Ukraine dating service can help you find an international partner and become a part of these statistics. We are sure you’ll find an amazing partner on the service, and not only for international dating but for marriage as well. And you still think there’s no way you’ll meet someone? So a 31-year-old man might look for someone between 22 to 35 - up to nine years younger than him.

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stupendoustravelerdonut · 2 years ago

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lemonsandstrawberries · 4 years ago

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Hashtag: RelationshipGoals

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony)

summary: Steve is being forced into getting a Twitter accounts and logs into Tony’s for inspiration - one mistake later, he finds more than he asked for. Meaning, his boyfriend has a tickle kink and Steve has a lot of thinking to do.

length: 5 468

a/n: Happy Friday 13th! *throws confetti* To celebrate I am posting a fic that contains one of the biggest fears for people with tickle kink - someone finding out when you are not ready to tell them. It has a happy ending, promise! Hope you all will enjoy this fic, feedback, reblogs and likes are appreciated and needed! fic inspired by this prompt.

—————

Hashtag: RelationshipGoals

Long story short - Steve was getting a Twitter account.

Long story long...

It all started with a certain PR meeting held for the Avengers team, just this time, it was Steve vs the whole PR team. The problem was simple - Steve didn't like social media and didn't have an account on any of the numerous websites and apps. Fighting with aliens, planning new missions, schooling SHIELD agents - those were the zones he felt comfortable in. Some thought that the hidden reason behind the hostility towards social media was, that Steve, born in the 1920s, had a problem with using modern technology. Some called it endearing, some pathetic, the truth was, that Steve fairly quickly mastered each piece of technology he was given, skillfully using any given device. After all, he wasn't dense. Many apps were quite useful, some just plain entertaining, and it required a lot of navigating, but he managed to find some favorites. Just when it came to social media… Steve didn't feel like sharing his private life with unknown faces. Call him old-fashioned, but he liked having direct contact with people and as much as he liked to take a stop during his random walks in the city to talk with people who called themselves his fans, it quickly became too overwhelming. He wasn't good at such things and always thought he was too awkward and not what people expected. Steve didn't like that kind of pressure and didn't like the almost weekly notices from the PR team that he needed to make himself more 'accessible'. By no means, he was expected to stop and talk to everyone who ever called him or share mission details with strangers, but he needed to create a more public persona for Captain America and Steve Rogers.

Hence, Steve was encouraged to take a plunge into the world of social media.

And he really, really, really didn't want to do that.

One - it was pretty tedious to keep up with everything. Tony eagerly showed him all social accounts he had - Twitter, Instagram, Facebook profile, Youtube, and it all just gave him a headache as Tony chattered which media was good for what and gladly showed him his own Instagram page (mostly workshop photos and meals Steve had prepared for him, which was kinda sweet) and if Steve became slightly interested in that, his interest dropped after hearing about filters and tags. Too much work.

Second - he didn't have time to keep his theoretical accounts active and post new content regularly. Or more, he didn't want to make time, preferring to spend it on reading or training or hanging out with Tony or anything else, really. He had been gently suggested, that some celebrities (Steve's eyes widened a little after hearing that - was he a celebrity?) hire someone else to run their social media accounts. Steve shook his head at the proposition, knowing that none of his teammates did that and so he shouldn't either, not mentioning that everything posted wouldn't be sincere.

Third - Steve considered himself not an interesting person. He didn't have Tony's charisma, who, of course, had the biggest social media following ever, Thor's flair, which made his Youtube channel where he tasted food sent to him from all over the world by his viewers a huge success or Clint's humor, whose Internet activity limited to commenting on funny animal photos and home videos and people loved him. Even Bruce, seemingly even more awkward and distant when it came to dealing with a privacy-invading crowd, was doing great, kindling the interest of young kids in science with a series of easy to repeat experiments at home and railing about the importance of protecting and preserving the environment. Even Natasha didn't have a problem, her social media accounts full of useful self-defense tips for everyone who needed to feel safer. Steve just couldn't find anything in himself he would like to share with the world. He liked to keep his art private, his relationship private, and his whole life private.

It should be the ending statement.

It wasn't.

And so Steve, feeling scolded, got back to his and Tony's shared floor, planning to hide, except that he was assigned a very simple task for the week.

Get a Twitter account.

Steve sat heavily on the couch, putting elbows on his knees and palms around his cheeks, definitely not pouting. Why on Earth did he need a Twitter account? Wasn't it enough that from time to time he appeared on Tony's account, being the supportive boyfriend, and allowing Tony share the photos of their date nights or even the short movies from Steve's training when Tony was proudly showing off Steve's impressive physique and using those damn filters and making small stars and glitter swirl around him.

Speaking of Tony, he could use his boyfriend's advice... Steve checked his phone and knew that Tony was still stuck in a business meeting, and won't be back for an hour or so and as much as he wanted to not think about the Twitter issue it kept coming back to him. What was he supposed to write on Twitter? Something that wouldn't give too much about him, but would be safe and entertaining. He needed inspiration. Maybe a walk would clear his mind but as Steve was getting up, he noticed Tony's tablet laying at the edge of the coffee table.

Well... Tony wouldn't mind if he took a peak, right? Granted, he never used Tony's tablet before without his boyfriend’s permission. It felt too personal and barging on privacy and it was almost a silent agreement between them that Steve won't touch Tony's electronic devices and Tony won't look through Steve's sketchbooks without prior agreement. But it was different, right? Tony's Twitter account was out there, for everyone, so it didn't matter if Steve would install the app on his phone and check the account, or go to the source and look through Tony's account. It might even help him to understand better how the app was working.

Steve took the tablet and unlocked it, searching for the Twitter app. Letter T on a blue background. Steve pressed it and skimmed over the screen, looking at the design of the app. Huh, it looked very different from the account owner's point of view. He scrolled down the screen, seeing a lot of text, too much text because wasn't there a limit of signs per tweet? Further, into the app, Steve saw more of things he didn't recognize, didn't see any posts from other Avengers, instead of images and gifs and -

"Woah," Steve gaped, taking in what he was seeing. He quickly scrolled up, his face becoming heated, unsure what he just saw. For a minute, he turned the tablet in his hands, trying to decide if it really belonged to Tony and not someone else, but who else would have a hot red and gold cover, resembling the design of the Iron Man suit. It had to be Tony's tablet, which meant...

Those posts were Tony's. That account was Tony's. Tony had two Twitter accounts? Steve looked back, just now noticing that it wasn't Twitter after all. At the top of the screen on a background of dark blue in white letters was written Tumblr. Steve didn't hear of the app, it wasn't listed as one of the most popular ones for celebrities and that's probably why Tony used it for -

Steve wasn't exactly sure for what. For something secretive. Something he wanted to hide. Things he didn't admit even to Steve.

Cautiously, Steve scrolled down again, trying to keep an open mind and be more cautious. He wasn't a prude, he knew that people had different kinks and it was completely normal. Heck, he and Tony had a very healthy sex and intimate life and the sight of Tony tied down for their playtime always made Steve's blood boil with lust and desire and they did indulge in some kinks, Steve current favorite one included spanking Tony's bouncy ass and watch it jiggle and the skin turn red. Tony had no problems with sharing his kinky fantasies and Steve was always willing to give it a go, sometimes proposing things on his own, like wax play, which wasn't only sexy but also artistic - Tony's body colored with drips of different colored wax was a beautiful sight. This... This was something different, Steve didn't think to consider.

There were pictures, that without context seemed innocent, like an array of feathers on a pillow. Some were less subtle and showed a part of sucked in stomach, escaping from a coming closer feather duster. The gifs were the most intriguing - a tied up, blindfolded man, laughing and squirming, while a different man was...

Tickling him?

Steve's brow furrowed as he watched the gif, frame by frame. There was no doubt that it was tickling, fingers gliding over tied man's armpits and sides. Steve expected this to be a prelude, something more to follow, but it was all. Tickling was the main point. Steve blushed when he realized that if there were gifs, there had to be a video and who knew how long it was. How many minutes would it take to bring someone to the brink of hysterics, to make them crumble, but at the same time make it pleasurable? People were not forced into filming porn and following that principle, there were not forced into filming tickle kink videos.

And that being said...

"Huh..." Steve mused out, bits of information falling into one picture. They never discussed it, but in the back of his head, Steve had this thought that Tony enjoyed being tickled, or at least didn't mind terribly. The way he squirmed between Steve's tickling hands but didn't try to run away. How he laughed and screamed for mercy whenever Steve targeted a sensitive spot and always seemed a bit disappointed when the tickling ended but masked it with a smile and complaints of being assaulted. Sometimes, Steve just felt provoked into tickling his boyfriend, like that one time, Tony had taken his sketchbook and hid away, refusing to say where he hid it and Steve had to tickle the information out of him until Tony was absolutely incoherent from laughter and breathless.

That was cute. All those shared tickle moments were cute, but Steve never thought that they could be... hot. And intimate. He looked back at the gif, at the way the tickled man arched and bucked, but was not able to escape the ticklish strokes delivered over his skin. What if Tony was the one tied and spread in the chair and Steve was the one standing behind, dotting his fingertips over the bare torso, having that sense of power and control, enjoying the ticklish tremble of the bothered skin. It became a tempting image in his head.

'Guuuuys, I don't know what to do.'

Steve's eyes caught on some text among the images and gifs. A separate post.

'I still can't tell my bf that I like being tickled. I just can't! There is this block in my head -'

Steve read the text, feeling that he might know the author.

'I even did that thing you recommended with hiding his stuff away -'

Definitely knew the author. At the top of the post, he saw a name, probably the username and clicked on it. Blue background color, and image of feathers and the username in white bold font. The Spare Parts Man.

That was one major hint...

Steve scrolled down this page, seeing more text and images of people being tickled, some like, a gif that was of a zoomed in stomach, the belly button tickled by a tip of the feather, signed with a 'omg, goals', whatever that meant. Steve tried to search for the text he saw on the previous page, but couldn't find it anymore, instead saw more posts, where people seemed to be interacting with the author.

'Hi, SP! I was the one who sent you the asks with hiding your BF's stuff -'

'I am sure your BF will understand, from what you said, you are dating for a long time -'

'You still didn't tell him??? What are you waiting for, GO GO GO!'

Steve pursed his lips together, feeling upset that Tony was so willing to share with strangers, but not with him. This whole site seemed so secretive, and while Steve felt a bit betrayed, he started to think about things from Tony's perspective. Tickling wasn't a mainstream kink. Bondage, spanking, food play - all the things they had tried seemed to be more acceptable in the sex world while tickling... Some people enjoyed it, some hated it. Steve was somewhere in between. It could be a fun thing among loved ones, but could quickly become overwhelming and unbearable. Steve didn't think about it earlier, but he really liked tickling Tony. He loved the way his body twitched, the sound of his laughter, and the feeling of closeness and trust in the action. For Steve it was fun. For Tony, it had to run much deeper, forming stronger connections than it did for Steve.

'I don't want to lose him. What if he thinks I am a freak?'

No, Steve would never think that. Tony was the great love of his life and Steve accepted him on every level.

"Oh, babe..." Steve sighed softly, reading more posts, some screaming nervousness as Tony was pouring his heart out, feeling miserable with his inability to tell Steve the truth, some so heartwarming and oozing happiness when Tony was describing Steve's last tickle attacks and how incredibly good and completed it made Tony feel.

That. Steve wanted to make Tony feel like that every day. Satiated and fulfilled and safe.

No more secrets.

Carried on the moment, Steve pressed on an icon with a pencil and began to write.

***

Tony was bored. So, so bored. He caught a glimpse of Pepper sending him a scolding look and straightened up in his seat, pretending to pay attention. He just wanted to go back home and curl up next to Steve, feeling Steve's fingers stroking his hair and maybe, if he got lucky, Steve would rub his belly, using just enough pressure to make him smile and feel like melting. He started to smile at the thought and Pepper sent him a confused look. Uh oh. He better control himself. Tony grinned sheepishly at Pepper and set his face in a schooled, thoughtful look, trying to focus his attention on the meeting. Just half an hour more... It was all ending statements, so it was nothing bad if he decided to check his social media, right? Cautiously, Tony took out his phone and unlocked the screen, keeping the phone under the table. A new tasting video from Thor, with a package of sweets sent from the Netherlands. Tony made a mental note to drop later to Thor's floor and ask if he had any stroopwafels left to share because they were amazing with black coffee. Clint commenting on funny cats videos, Tony added it to his watch later list. As usual, his own social media were bursting with notifications, people raving over Iron Man and asking for more videos of Steve training routine, which, Tony couldn't blame them, the sight of his boyfriend working out was heaven. He even decided to check his Tumblr, curious if anyone sent him some more tips or maybe just left him a nice message -

Oh, that was weird. Usually, he had maybe two or three messages, some reblogs, and a few comments. This time, his app was bursting with notifications and Tony didn't post anything that could cause such a commotion in the last days.

'WHAT. WHAT????"

'Nooooooo... Please don't break up with him! He loves you so much!'

"The hell, dude! You invaded your bf's privacy like that?? You're the worst!"

Tony didn't understand anything. Maybe he clicked and shared something by accident. There was a slight possibility that his account was hacked. Maybe -

Maybe it was way, way worse.

There was a new text post on his main, one he didn't write.

'Hi, this is Spare Part Man's boyfriend. I found this account by accident and me and my boyfriend have a lot to talk about once I see him.'

No. No, no, no.

"Tony? Tony, are you okay?!"

Tony didn't realize he started to hyperventilate until Pepper's voice brought him back. Everyone was staring at him and Tony felt like vomiting.

"I am fine," Tony said, not meaning it, his voice coming out squeaky. "Can we - excuse me, I have to go," Tony rambled out, sending a sorry look in Pepper's direction and trying to walk out of the conference room as calmly as possible. It felt like the whole world was spinning around him, making him feel nauseous. Tony stumbled to the window and pressed his face against the cool glass, trying to soothe his heated skin and get his thoughts back in order.

It wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. Maybe it was never supposed to happen, staying as his hidden fantasy and dark secret. What if he deleted the account, right here, right now, would he be able to convince Steve that it never existed?

No. Steve wouldn't fall for it. And Tony felt so stupid for creating that account in the first place, but he needed a place to vent. He didn't plan on socializing, sharing his life, just get the urges out and move on. He just... Wanted to feel accepted. Find people who thought the same as he did. Not feel so alone.

And he would end alone because Steve definitely was going to dump him.

***

"I am back!"

Tony was a genius. He had numerous diplomas to prove it. Yet, he decided that the best thing to do would be to march into his and Steve's shared floor, acting like nothing ever happened. Maybe if he managed to keep his cool he could put this whole Tumblr thing as a social study. Just a research on kinks. No biggie. He could do this.

"Tony, come to the bedroom for a second!"

Somehow hearing Steve's voice made this situation very real and not like Tony imagined it. He couldn't say anything from the tone of Steve's voice, it was neutral, not angry, but also wasn't the cheerful, loving one Steve had towards him. On usual days, Steve would come to him, resembling an excited puppy and lick his face - kiss, Tony meant kiss, and then they would sit on the couch and share their day. Their bedroom was a private, closed space and once Tony set his foot there, there was no way back.

Feeling a nervous twist in his stomach, Tony peeked into the bedroom, just to feel if the situation was as bad as he feared. Steve was on the bed, forehead creased in thought, and was looking at the space in front of him until he spotted Tony from the corner of his eyes.

"Tony - " Steve started, sitting up straight, pulling shoulders back.

"No, Steve, I - " Tony walked into the bedroom, trying to make his voice strong. Just remember what he had planned and it would be fine. "I want to talk first, okay?"

Steve blinked and frowned lightly, but kept his lips tight. Alright, if Tony insisted.

"Okay," Tony nodded, trying to give himself some courage and began to pace around the room. "I know you found my Tumblr account," he said the obvious, struggling to keep his voice firm. "And - and it was not true, you know that, right? I just - research - an experiment to - ahh," Tony quickly got lost in his words, noticing Steve's look changing to a confused one. "I - ah, fuck, fuck, fuck - " Tony couldn't get any coherent words out and stopped and hid his face in hands. He continued to quietly curse, not knowing how to get out of this mess and not lose everything.

"Babe..."

Tony almost jumped away, when Steve came closer and wrapped arms around him. After a moment of hesitation, Tony buried himself into his soldier's arms, his face pressed against Steve's neck. Probably the last hug he would receive from Steve. This whole thing won't make Avengers stuff awkward at all. What if Steve would quit the team? Tony couldn't imagine not being able to see Steve anymore. He needed him. He would change, he would do better. Steve couldn't break up with him.

"Of course that I am not breaking up with you," Steve said suddenly, and Tony winced, not realizing he said it out loud. "Is that what you thought?" Steve asked, sounding shocked. Reluctantly, Tony nodded. Somehow he was used to being rejected and walking away from problems was one of the things he did and expected the same happen to him.

"God, Tony," Steve said in an exasperated huff, not believing how quickly this whole thing could escalate in Tony's mind. Then again, he should know, because Tony did think too much and sometimes didn't stop his thoughts on time, letting them drag him deeper and deeper. "Tony, I am not breaking up with you," Steve said again, just to make sure the words sunk in his boyfriend's head. "And I am sorry," Steve gently put his thumb and forefinger under Tony's chin, encouraging him to eye contact. 'Sorry you turned out to be messed up in the head,' Tony finished in his mind, looking into Steve's blue eyes.

"I am sorry for barging into your space when you didn't feel ready to share yet," Steve said, closing the distance between them and leaning his forehead against Tony's.

What?

Tony didn't reply, just stared, his brown eyes widening. Steve was... apologizing to him? Not the other way around?

"I read some of your blog," Steve said and Tony panicked again, Steve holding him closer when he felt brunet's body tense, "and I understand how hard it is for you to talk about it and how important it is for you. I really do. If anything, I am... a bit disappointed you didn't tell me. Why didn't you?"

Tony's mouth twisted into a scowl. He was disappointed with himself too, but it was hard. Harder than admitting that he liked being pinned down by Steve, or spanked, as it all seemed... simpler. It was obvious why people who enjoyed it were turned on by it. Tickling wasn't easy to explain.

"I wanted to," Tony finally spoke, his voice coming out quiet, "I didn't know how," this wasn't a good answer. Tony closed his eyes, not able to look at Steve. "I was embarrassed, I guess."

"Hmmm," Steve hummed in understanding, waiting for Tony to continue, but he didn't say anything more. Tony had no problems with voicing out his needs on his site, but face to face with Steve, he was fumbling and struggling for words. Anonymity gave him a sense of control which was being stripped away from him, layer by layer. Maybe with time, Tony would open more, and it was on Steve's side to nurture that vulnerable mindset until Tony would feel strong enough and confident to voice out his true needs.

"Then... can you tell me why you like it?" Steve tried, sounding gentle and not judgmental. Keeping an open mind was the key here.

"I don't know," Tony said quickly, sounding defensive. He didn't mean to, but it was stranger than him. He didn't want Steve to judge him, to think less of him, but... It was Steve. Steve who was always so understanding and didn't laugh at him and did his best to keep Tony feel accepted. It won't work if Steve would be the only one willing to share. "I guess," Tony corrected himself, trying to be more open, "I like the trust in it. And closeness," he said, tugging on Steve's clothes and hiding more into his boyfriend, "and, uh, it feels good."

"Feels good?"

"Yeah," Tony admitted, burying his heated face deeper into Steve's neck. "Feels really good. Especially when you are the one ti - doing it."

"Oh," Steve said, carding his fingers through the short hair on the back of Tony's head. Tony shivered, just slightly, from the light touch, smiling against Steve's skin and Steve felt an urge to touch him all over. This time differently, more aware and more intimate, paying closer attention to the reactions. "So... you wanna do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know what."

Tony moved away from Steve, showing a confused face. That kinda felt like mocking him, but Steve's face was honest. And it would certainly change the mood and make Tony feel better about this whole day. "I don't know," Tony said, just to be safe, "do you want to do it?"

"Heck yeah."

"What? You do?" Tony asked, his mouth falling agape at the enthusiasm.

"Sure. You like it and I like tickling you too. It's a win-win, right?"

Tony started to smile in relief. It was really happening. Steve accepted one of Tony's darkest secrets and even wanted to take part in it. Tony could barely wrap his mind around it, already feeling excited and giddy.

"So?" Steve asked again, eyes sparkling, waiting for permission from his boyfriend.

"If you keep asking, it takes the surprise factor AWAAHHAHA!" Tony's newly found boost of confidence was efficiently cut off when Steve latched hands to his sides and squeezed repeatedly. Tony doubled over in laughter and squirmed away, watching with a pounding heart as Steve followed him, smiling beautifully mischievous. "No, no, no, wait, Steve! STEHEVE!" Tony screeched in laughter when Steve ran forward, pushing Tony on the bed, and falling with him. "ACK! STE - hahaha! Waaait!" Tony wailed when fingers were going up and down his body tickling intensely. When Tony became pink in the face and a little breathless, Steve stopped, leaning in and kissing Tony's smiling lips.

"I love you, babe," Steve whispered, looking at his lover.

"I love you too," Tony answered, his heart hammering from the ticklish rush and all love he had for Steve.

"Are we good?"

"We are good," Tony assured, still not believing that everything turned out so great.

"Good," Steve smiled, and just now Tony realized that somehow both of his wrists were in soldier's hold and Steve easily pinned his hands above his head, leaving his torso exposed. "Because now," Steve said, sitting on Tony's thighs and slowly sliding his free hand under Tony's shirt. "I want to test every ticklish spot on you."

"Oh fuhahahck - " Tony wriggled uselessly, his stomach sinking in when Steve gently ran fingertips over the soft skin. "Steve, Steve, pleaheehehehese!"

"This is just your tummy and you already are so ticklish. It is a very promising start."

"Ahhahaha!"

"Oh, is this rib ticklish? How about this one? And this one?"

"GAAA HAHAHA!"

"Oh look, the higher I go, the more you laugh. Sooo, this means that when I do this -"

"PFF HAHAHAHA!"

"That's one ticklish armpit you have, babe! Let's find out if the other one is as ticklish -"

Steve was grinning, watching Tony crumbling and laughing, coming apart under his fingers. Steve was right, it was a win-win for both of them.

***

"You should write on your Tumblr."

"Huh?"

"You should," Steve repeated, rolling on completely naked Tony and kissing his lips, "write on your," a kiss on the chin, "Tumblr," Steve finished, blowing a raspberry into Tony's neck.

"HAAHAHA! Stoooop," Tony tried to swat Steve away, feeling too blissful to move. Of course that a long, intimate tickle session changed into an amazing make out. It was incredible how the tickle foreplay increased their appetite and how wonderfully responsive Tony became.

Steve laughed and rolled on his side, looking at Tony with adoration. Laughing made Tony ten times more attractive in Steve's eyes, and Tony was off the scale to start with.

"I am serious, babe," Steve tried again, gently poking his finger all over Tony's bare belly, making him squeak funnily and curl up, "write on your Tumblr. Everyone has to be worried."

"Ah hahaha... Ohkahay!" Tony agreed, shielding his stomach with one hand and using the other one to reach for his phone. "Uhh... Should I update and delete it?" Tony asked. With everything working out so great, there was no reason for him to keep that account. No more secret lusting, when he had it all in real life.

"If you want to," Steve said truthfully, "or maybe you can keep it for a bit longer because I might need some inspiration on how to take you apart."

"Ahhh, not sure if I want to give you access to that sort of power," Tony teased, opening the app. "Huh, people kinda hate you."

Steve shrugged, understanding that what he wrote, did sound menacing, even if it wasn't his intention. "Just write that we are fine and your boyfriend plans on fulfilling your each and every one tickle fantasy."

"You do?" Tony asked, voice trembling with excitement.

"All of them, babe," Steve assured, smiling broadly. He had remembered some of the things he read and gifs he saw, and could easily imagine Tony on the receiving end.

Looking enthusiastic, Tony got to writing. Soon, Steve got up and leaned over Tony's shoulder, looking at the screen.

'Hi, guys. Sorry for the sudden silence but as you saw we had a situation here. It is all good now, me and BF talked, and he turned to be all sweet about it, not bragging, I just had my first tickle session and it was amazing! So, I just wanted to give you an update, that I am fine. More than fine. My BF said that I can keep this Tumblr if I want to and he will even use it as an inspiration, so aaaah, can't wait. Just don't give him any ideas! I am gonna talk to you all soon, but for now, I and my BF have plans. See you later!'

After the post got published, Tony and Steve didn't have to wait for a reaction.

'AAAAH! I AM SO GLAD EVERYTHING IS FINE! YOU BOYS HAVE FUN NOW!'

'Awesome, couple goals.'

'That's great, dude, but I hope your BF apologized.'

"That's the one that doesn't like me, right?" Steve squinted his eyes, pointing at the last comment. Tony laughed and nosed Steve's cheek playfully.

"It is okay, I like you," he smiled. "Do you want to have a nickname? That will make it much easier for me to write when you are involved."

"Um, sure," Steve said, not entirely sold on the idea, but not wanting to shot Tony's idea down. "You call yourself Spare Parts Man, right?" Steve asked and Tony nodded. "Soooo... How about you call me Iron Man?"

Tony's smile dropped in surprise, and he laughed mockingly. "Seriously, dude?"

"Hey, the darkest place is under the candle," Steve said, sounding defensive.

"Fine," Tony agreed, rolling his eyes dramatically. He reblogged the post and added an update.

'BF wants you to call him Iron Man. I know, lame.'

"Ack!" Tony almost dropped his phone when Steve scoldingly pinched his side. Soon the first comments came.

'Ah you sound like a superhero couple, how cute!'

'I am shipping you both. #relationshipgoals'

'Wow, your BF is not very creative, isn't he? But fine, let it be IRON MAN.'

"Write to this one that I don't like them either," Steve hissed, looking at the last comment.

Tony laughed and turned to Steve, pressing their lips together in a kiss. Long and sweet. The kind of kiss that was the perfect happy ending to a tickle kink coming out story.

"Oh, interesting!" Steve suddenly said, ending the kiss too soon and looking at one of the comments, smiling wickedly.

"What is int - noooooo!" Tony wailed, understanding the reason behind the smile. It was stronger than him and Tony started to panic. "It is a lie, Steve! Don't believe the lieeee no no aaah HELP!"

Steve laughed, wrestling Tony down and pinning his hands once again. If Tony was already getting this worked up, there was no way Steve would back up.

"No, please!" Tony giggled, kicking his legs, trying to wriggle away, as Steve's menacingly moving fingers were getting closer and closer. "I cahahahan't!"

Somehow, Steve didn't believe him. Instead, he believed the comment.

'Hey, this is for Iron Man - I am sure you know already, that SP's stomach is really ticklish, but did you try tickling his belly button specifically? From what SP writes it is a very ticklish outie. Have fun!'

When Steve pressed his finger over Tony's outie delicately and Tony burst into giggling, almost maniacal laughter, Steve was in heaven. It was settled, Tony was keeping his blog for further tips for Steve.

#stony #steve rogers #tony stark #superhusbands #stevetony #tickling #tickle kink #tickle fic #upperbody tickling #fanfic #fanfiction

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #328

okay i’m going the fuck to bed now. @_@

Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No; the only time I ever will will possibly be my wedding, if even then. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I'm capable, but I don't believe it will happen. Who’s the last person you video-chatted with? My therapy group via Zoom. Do ski lifts make you nervous or do you like them? Never been in one, but they seem cool. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. Nice combo. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Please explain to me how ANY tattoo inherently equates to being "trashy." I actually love sleeve tats. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? No. I experienced a few crushes my freshman year of high school, but they weren't just anybody. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I may or may not get a tattoo of Darkiplier doing his i c o n i c debut smile somewhere, but idk. I already have one tattoo related to Mark and would kill for another with his handwriting, so having three would be a bit... wild, haha. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? Usually. Can you remember what you last clapped for? Yes; everyone in group clapped for one of the women taking a big step against her agoraphobia. Is your hair damaged? No, it's actually super healthy. Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? The litterbox and my room in general. Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? No. Most interesting place you’ve ever visited? Chicago was a big shock to me. I am FAR from used to cities that incredible and stocked. Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? I don't groom them, so they're on the thicker end. Do you always wear a bra? Not at home and if there's no company. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No. Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? Yeah, a few times. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Who says I'm marrying a man? But whatever, no. Keep that behind closed doors. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? No more than two. I usually don't even have two. Have you ever had sex outside? No. Have you ever been outside naked? No. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No. You ever like someone who liked you back, but didn’t want a relationship?: That's pretty much where I'm at now. Have you ever fallen for someone who didn’t feel the same? No. Are you financially stable? No. Mom can barely afford rent right now; I had to pay it last month with gifted money. Are you emotionally stable? hunny Do you think kids these days are growing up too quickly? I kinda think so, yeah. It's funny how different kids are now compared to when I was whatever age they are. I try to be open-minded about it, though; times change, and I don't expect my generation to be the only "right" way to have grown up. I just think kids are chasing the power of "maturity" with much more vigor. Are you a rebel? Not really. Do you like when people use proper grammar on the Internet? Yeah. I like conversing with people who type just how they talk, like me. Have you ever driven or been a passenger on a motorcycle? Neither. I don't want to ride one. Do you use standard time, or 24 hour time? Standard time. Do you enjoy NASCAR? "HE'S MAKIN ANOTHER LEFT TURRRRRRN!" Lol no, I really don't. Who is the most fascinating person you’ve met? Probably Sara, honestly. What amazing adventures have you been on? What's this "adventure" you speak of? What would you do if had enough money to not need a job? Lots of traveling with my camera, still selling art anyway. What TV series do you keep coming back to and re-watching? None. What would your perfect vacation look like? Y'know, one of those glass dome ceiling cabin... things in the mountains with Sara would be so, SO cool. So much nature for us to explore. What are some obscure things that you are or were really into? Most of my interests honestly, haha. The strangest is probably "vulture culture," in which the remains (typically the bones) of a naturally deceased wild animal are basically recycled for some sort of artistic purpose. You could consider my roadkill photography an example. What are some things everyone should try at least once? I dunno, man. Depends on what you're into. What would your perfect morning be like? Cuddles with an s/o watching some funny videos or something like that to get in some morning laughter. What are you always game for? Video games, haha. What do you do to unwind? Watch YouTube. What’s your favorite piece of furniture you’ve ever owned? I don't have a fave. What would be the best city to live in? I don't want to live in a city. What would you like to know more about, but haven’t had the time to look into it? Time isn't an issue; I just haven't. There's lots of stuff. I'm a very curious person. How have you changed from when you were in high school? I'm less depressed, but more confused, scared, and much less motivated. Imagine a chicken wandering around with its head chopped off. Where is the most fun place around where you live? Nothing, really... Where would your friends or family be most surprised to find you? Like, a strip club or something. What’s expensive but totally worth it? This depends on what's important to you. For me, a quality DSLR camera. When do you feel most out of place? Whenever I'm some place fancy. What’s the most recent thing you’ve done for the first time? No idea. What small seemingly insignificant decision had a massive impact on your life? Accepting Jason's friend request on Facebook because I thought it was a different Jason I actually knew. What did you do last summer? Nothing, just stayed indoors trying not to melt into a sizzling puddle. What are you most grateful for? My mom. What’s the most essential part of a friendship? Trust, maybe. When was the last time you walked for more than an hour? Many, many years ago when I used to walk outside for hours with my iPod. All modesty aside, what are you better at than 90% of people? It doesn’t have to be useful or serious, it can be something ridiculous. 90% is a lot, man. Maybe bonding with animals? What’s the strangest phone conversation you’ve ever had? I don’t know. What do you like but are kind of embarrassed to admit? If I'm embarrassed by it, I have no interest in sharing it. What skill or ability have you always wanted to learn? Even just a smidge of social skills. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had? Probably the spicy shrimp fritas at Olive Garden. I adore those sooooooooo so much. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a kid? The zoo. We didn't go often at all, but I would frequently nag Mom about going. What’s something that most people haven’t done, but you have? Fed a freshly severed rat to a vulture. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I wanna go back to that bird rescue... What says the most about a person? How they treat others. What machine or appliance in your house aggravates you the most? The dryer. It can take a few rounds to fully dry something. What places have you visited that exceeded your expectations? Chicago, that I actually remember. Disney World probably did, but I was just a little kid and only have faint memories of the trip. What’s the worst advice someone has given you? I don't know. Besides your home and your work, where do you spend most of your time? People leave their houses? What are your top 3 favorite things to talk about? Mark, meerkats, and video games. When you were a kid, what seemed like the best thing about being a grown up? No one could tell me no for "stupid" reasons. What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone? Strange way? I haven't got a clue. What’s your favorite band NAME (not necessarily your favorite band)? Maybe Cradle of Filth. Badass metal name. There are a lot of good ones, though. What’s your favorite thing to do outdoors? Take pictures of flowers or animals. How often do you dance? Silly/ironic dancing counts. Essentially never. Who besides your parents taught you the most about life? Jason, I guess. What’s been the most significant plot twist in your own life? The breakup that I thought was physically impossible, entirely unfathomable. Where did you take family vacations to when you were younger? We didn't really go on vacations. If you could instantly receive a Ph.D. in any discipline including all the knowledge and experience that goes along with it, what would your Ph.D. be in? Biology. What are the top three social situations you try to avoid most? Anywhere where I have to speak publicly; parties/get-togethers involving people I don't know; anywhere that is extremely crowded. Just social situations in general, really... What friendship you’ve had has impacted you the most? My friendship with Sara. What’s something you’re interested in that most people wouldn’t expect? Uhhh I don't know, really. What’s the hardest you’ve worked for something? My recovery from the breakup. What took you way too long to figure out? The only person who had any right to control my happiness and will to live was myself. What nicknames have you had throughout your life? If you include online ones as well, there's Britt, Britt-Britt, Twinkie, Bee, Flower, Ruby, Mozart2, Ozz(y), Alessa, and uhhh... I wanna say that's it? What do you do differently than most people? I deconstruct my breakfast biscuits to eat one part at a time... haha. Where’s the last place you’d ever go? Prison. What fact floored you when you heard it? That my dad did some hard drugs before us kids were born. I was entirely speechless. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah, it doesn't bother me. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. It smells awful. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? Air dry. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like the idea of catching wild animals just to pick up and check out. That poor critter is terrified. I'd rather just take pictures of it and let it go about its day. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? I want my next tattoo to be a big'n. How many pills do you take every morning? I absolutely do not want to count. A whole lot. What was the last parade you went to? /shrug What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? If I was hypothetically having kids, let's see. A son, absolutely dinosaurs. A daughter, maybe meadowy with baby animals. My baby blanket was full of baby animals, so it'd be kinda cute, that connection. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Not because of gender norms, but by personal choice, pastel pink. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. What is the last thing you missed out on that you wanted to go to? Hm. Who do you wish were your best friend? I am perfectly happy with who already is my best friend. Who do you wish you could go on another date with? She knows. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? I'm not sure, but my high school friend Megan is due to have her daughter Persephone soon! She won the naming game. Like damn, how badass would it feel for your name to be Persephone. Do you have a favorite M&M? Just the classic ones. Is it easy to make you cry? OHHHHH YES IT IS. Have you ever snuck out? Nah. Who was the last person to comment you? On Facebook? My friend Lyndsey commented on a photo I shared. What song reminds you of being in middle school? "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by A Day To Remember is the anthem for going through puberty in school and trying to figure yourself out. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. What’s something really basic that you’re terrible at? Cooking. Are you pale or tan? I'm very pale. When’s the last time you were kissed? On the lips, like two or so years ago. Do you like the movie Grease? Never seen it, actually. What’s your favorite Jim Carrey movie? The Mask, probably. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? I think a fawn. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? I meeeaaan... Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? Yes and yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? Well, it's complicated. I don't, but I also want to be a freelance photographer, so I kinda would. I like the idea of having an office in my house purely for productive activities to prevent becoming lazy because I'd be at home. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am one.

#survey #surveys #questions

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loquaciousquark · 6 years ago

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E61 (May 7, 2019)

Hi, everyone! @eponymous-rose is out from a pain in the butt situation, so I’m stepping in to bring that average quality down a solid five or six points. Tonight’s preroll: guess who! No, literally, Guess Who:

Tonight’s guests: Travis Willingham & Marisha Ray.

Tonight’s announcements: earlier today, Ashley joined Taliesin for a Gail Force 5-themed action game episode of Mame Drop. VOD available now! On Saturday, May 18, Marisha will be DMing a live event for D&D Live’s Stream of Descent. Cool!

And now, Episode 61: Agreements

CR Stats! It’s been one week since Beau saw Dairon. Only one week, huh. Uk’otoa has threatened Fjord twice in the last week. It’s been 35 days since Fjord broke the second seal. Everyone marvels it’s been simultaneously that long & that little time, and Marisha & Travis both have a loooong drink. Brian has an electronic mug that keeps his drink warm. It has an app. It tells him when it’s at its desired temperature. Travis calls him Douche McClure, but holy smokes I want one.

Brian tells a story about how he thought Travis was falling asleep one episode, but he was pondering the mysteries of the universe “a la Liam O’Brien.” Marisha empathizes with the trap of being told by the internet to READ YOUR SPELLS, only to try to do that & miss the last round of combat, then to be told PAY ATTENTION.

There’s no difference between Fjord & Travis’s reaction to his depowerment (sheer terror). Marisha talks about how he missed a solid twenty minutes of gameplay afterwards from being so distracted. Travis says he was “movie breathing” too, so hard it was audible on the mics. (Laura has to tell him to stop breathing so loud in movies a lot.) Brian, who’s been with Travis in haunted houses & knows when he’s genuinely scared, realized how terrified he was in the moment even through the laptop screen.

Dani: “Uk’otoa is exactly the IRS.” Brian: “How about the IRIS?” Ugh.

Everyone points out Travis is cosplaying Steve Jobs tonight. It’s uncanny.

On Beau’s relationship with deities: she’s the only non-magic person in the party, and a lot of the other party members get their magic from very powerful beings telling them they’re special. Even Caleb was pulled to a school as a labeled prodigy. Now Beau is questioning why she’s “the average person in a group of extraordinary people.” Brian wonders if part of it might be her feeling like she gets her own strength without the need of powers granted by gods. Marisha’s exploring the powers Beau now has (that people saw in her earlier as a flaw, especially given her criminal past), possibly as something she might be remarkable for after all. She wonders if she should be talking to Ioun the way everyone else is talking to their gods.

Fjord fears his powers’ loss because of both his inability to hold his own with his friends and as his last tangible bond with Vandren. He desperately wants to reconnect with him (”You’re okay? Are you okay? I’m okay, if you’re...wondering...”). He also recognizes he’s a half-orc with a strength of 11 if he doesn’t have any powers. Brian: “Do you regret picking your class?” Travis: “I REGRET ALL OF IT!” Marisha: “I felt really bad, because as soon as the cameras went off I could see Travis was freaking out, and the first thing I said was, ‘This is why I never fuck with warlocks!’“ Travis: “I can do what you do! Stunning strike! Pap-pap! I got no nothin’!” He imagines his sword just flopping out at his feet in the middle of a tense ambush and having to wish everyone else well.

How does the Krynn dynasty recognition, the house, & the growing acclaim of the M9 affect the relationship Beau has with Dairon? She has no idea. It depends on how well Beau explains her perspective of it all being all knowledge. Marisha tells us that when Nott first exclaimed that blue cloth they found was Dairon’s, she secretly 100% thought it was as well, even when she verbally denied it.

Travis remembers none of this under the loud heartbeat in his ears at the time.

Travis, as a fan, loves the “Thunderlord’s” style of worship. Marisha likes the seamless relationship Caduceus has with the Wildmother. Brian has a hard pass on both “Travis’s thing” & the Traveler “obviously evil,” but also likes the Wildmother. Marisha wonders if Travis will lose his powers if they free & then kill Uk’otoa. Travis, almost crying: “I don’t know!!”

Holy smokes, guys, there are so many quick references and jokes in this one I can’t get them all. Seriously, this is so entertaining! Catch a VOD if you can.

Travis actually had no intention of talking to Wursh in the last episode. He only went there because Yasha came after him. He would have just wandered around if she hadn’t forced the issue. Marisha: “That’s a healthy way of coping.” Travis: “You’re saying that to Fjord, right? Travis is a very responsible person and a good friend.” He and Marisha are being SO SILLY TONIGHT, g’dang.

Reminder, GIF of the Week has been suspended; the replacement will be announced next week.

Beau’s generally forgotten about the precarious nature of their humanity in the Dynasty until Waccoh’s reminder. She’s generally headstrong, and it was a good hint she might need to rein it in a bit.

Fanart of the Week: @thealeksdemon with a gorgeous portrait of Fjord that is apparently nowhere else on the internet.

They’re doing another Space Jam??????? Whattttt??????

Beau thought the super-fried talking goblin corpse was a bit weird. It was also a little odd he carried the goblin for several hours on his back.

Marisha & Travis both miss a question because they were posing artfully. These two are so goofy.

Fjord keeps himself close to himself; he’s not comfortable with the recent leadership, as well as all the new powers. Beau is still thinking about Dairon’s instructions to avoid getting close to people.

Travis confirms Fjord shouts “Eldritch Blast” out loud every time. He’s dead certain the group will think less of him if he can’t pull his own weight. “They’d hold auditions! For the Mighty Eight!” He also mentions that he can’t take care of anyone without his powers. Marisha says they’d have offered to help him quest to get his powers back: you know, toss him in some salt water, let him get a little briny, leave him in there “not beyond the threshold of a revivify...” Travis: “Oh, wow, you’re trying to reset the hard drive!” Marisha: “Fuck, you guys, he’s BSODed.” She admits the plan might need a little R&D.

Is it worse when the check engine light turns on or off?

Beau is conflicted about participating in the military industrial complex. She’s aware it’s going to be used to kill families.

There’s an extended, hilarious aside where Beau tries to say the M9 have become the bad guys, but basically implies that Beau alone is just straight-up evil. It’s tear-jerkingly hilarious.

Fjord’s hesitant to tell everyone because he’s fallen in love a bit with his new self. He has no idea what his agreement (if there even was one) with Uk’otoa was/is. For Fjord, going back to being “normal” would be awful. “He still has work to do, too.”

Beau likes tweaking the noses of powerful people, she’s just trying to be more judicious about it.

Travis straight up quotes Jurassic Park over Liam guest-star-cuddling Henry. This episode is seriously amazing.

Travis says he “doesn’t know anything about an accent drop” as far as the breakdown last episode. Unclear if serious! He’s fascinated by the connection to Vandren as a past Chosen of Uk’otoa.

Yasha’s past reveal was an “oh shit” moment for Beau. When asked if this changes how Beau feels about Yasha, Marisha delicately says, “I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha,” but that she also doesn’t want to hurt people’s internal canons. Travis very directly tells her that she’s played it how’s she’s played it, and what people infer from that is on them. Marisha nods and decides she doesn’t want to add anything else.

Fjord doesn’t care that Beau’s wearing Avantika’s coat.

Being denied access to the library makes it 100% more enticing for Beau.

Fjord feels....goooood about having a new house/family as long as things stay the way they are (in re: his warlock abilities). Marisha recalls Fjord telling Beau to take care of her family because it was the only one she had...but now she has this new family that she likes as well. Only a few people know about her little brother, so it’s a weird family dynamic. Travis: “There’s the family you have and the family you choose.”

This is Fjord’s third family, since his first found family (Vandren) got ripped away.

We out! Is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

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wisdomrays · 4 years ago

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TAFAKKUR: Part 159

Scent Transportation Emerging technologies may change the way we smell - yes, smell - new modes of communication.

What would it be like if, while watching a cooking show, waves of tasty aroma wafting from our television made it possible for us to smell the food being cooked? What if while watching a show about shipping, with the touch of a button, we could smell the ocean? Would it be too over the top when we already have high definition screens, three dimensional films, and even some hologram technology? Maybe not: science doesn't say, "impossible"; it just says, "too hard for now."

The dispersal of scent takes place via the thermal and light-like behavior of the fragrant particles in the air. Thousands of points, letters, and words are positioned in each and every air particle. Each molecule is created in a form to carry sounds, sights, and odor. Millions of sound waves, scents and images are being transported and translocated into each of the trillions of air particles without deforming or mixing. As our knowledge pertaining to this transport grows, new technological products that will enable the transport of odors will be offered to the service of mankind.

Our sense of smell occurs in the brain. The chemical molecules exiting a lemon peel stimulate the odor receptors in the nose, which are then transmitted to brain to be interpreted as electric signals. Our olfactory system can easily distinguish more than ten thousand scents. This has inspired scientists to design similar devices. These models are called "electronic noses."

A series of chemical receptors are utilized in the electronic nose instead of the receptor proteins of the human nose. Each of these is designed to sense various scents. These devices are difficult to produce, as the cost grows for a more sensitive device. The signals that sensors collect from the environment are converted into binary codes via electronic systems and then sent to a computer. The role of human nerve cells in charge of sensing odor is replaced by the electronic systems of a computer.

Mostly in their early phases, electronic noses are beginning to be used in various sectors, primarily those involving foods and perfumes, as well as the medical and chemical industries.

How does odor transportation take place?

As I already mentioned, the aromatic molecules transported via air particles in their gaseous state are detected by the smell sensor system and converted into electric signals. Quite a few different materials are used as conductors: conductive polymers, semi-conductive metal oxides, a quartz-crystal micro-balance (QMB), surface acoustic wave (SAW) sensors, pellistors, and infrared sensors.

Once the electric signals are converted into binary, the odor information is determined via a software program in which algorithms such as artificial nerve networks and support vector machines are employed. This information is then transmitted to a remote medium via lines of communication, such as a computer network, the internet, or another form of mobile communication. The odor type is received in the target computer. This detection stage can be completed in the target PC when necessary.

Today's technology can only permit the transmission of odor data. In order to perceive the transmitted information at the target location as smell, the scents must be present as stored in containers and must be triggered via received odor data to be dispersed. The research in this field is limited, with ongoing pilot studies.

How can diseases be diagnosed with odors?

The natural functions of the human body, such as sweat, blood, urine, and feces, can be used to help diagnose diseases. The odor of the gases in human breath holds significant information regarding body health. There are between two hundred and four hundred different gases found in human breath. Furthermore, the number of gas types detected and described in the breath can exceed three thousand. While blood gets cleaned in the lungs, the gases of the used blood pass to the breath via the alveoli. Therefore, many critical pieces of bodily information are present in the breath.

The gases exhaled through our breath are composed of various alkaline and aromatic compounds. Each of these is a potential indicator that provides information about a disease. The gases and their ratio in the breath of a healthy person are well established. Since the ratio of the gases in the breath gets altered depending on the cause of an illness - such as diabetes (Type I and II), cancer of the ear-nose-throat, tuberculosis, and women's reproductive diseases - can be diagnosed by utilizing the electronic nose.

There are other uses for the technology, too. NASA is developing a highly sensitive artificial nose for space research. This device will almost be able to distinguish every type of chemical compound, making more sensitive measurements than a human nose. With this device, the detection of harmful substances in the space station will be possible.

Google has announced that significant progress has been made regarding the "Google nose" which helped revolutionize searching for aromas. The Google Aroma database (http://www.google.com.tr/intl/tr/landing/nose/) stores more than 15 million kinds of scent. The days when we will be able to smell the scent of any product through our internet based devices do not seem to be too distant. To make this possible, sound waves would be converted into odor signals. There is a partially-imaginary video prepared to show how this can feel.

New technologies will change our relationship with smell, which has always been deeply important to humanity. Reference is made of this in the Qur'an, especially when the Prophet Jacob of Canaan sensed the fragrance of his son, Joseph, who was hundreds of miles away. The verse, from the chapter of Joseph, reads, "Surely, I sense the fragrance of Joseph, unless you would consider me a dotard. "It shows how valuable scent is to us, as anyone who has had a long lost memory triggered by an unexpected smell understands. As the verse suggests, losing our sense of smell is akin to losing our minds. Research has borne this out, as one of the first symptoms of Alzheimer's disease is the loss of smell. In fact, monitoring loss of scent has helped with the early detection and prevention of Alzheimer's. This is yet another way that our body has been perfectly calibrated to cue us in to its messages. In this regard, as with many, technology is still trying to catch up to nature.

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goldengalacticguru · 4 years ago

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Humanity is at a tipping point in the evolution of our society where the only limiting factor is education and belief, the former having been trounced for profit and the latter malformed. Humans are programmed by the experience they were forced to undergo, which by large is villainous lies that enforce genocidal tendencies. Humanity reached this point by cooperative community, the first mark of civilization being a broken leg being mended and cared for; now our biggest hindrance are the beliefs that we need to tear each-other down to advance ourselves forward. Belief is an illusion that we give power to. Money is belief, belief is power, and we have more belief in a currency of violence than we have belief in the power of Life. We continue to pour efforts into oil regardless of the fact that it is destroying ecosystems, we continue to tear down green space with half of the planet's animal life dead already, we continue to pour pollution into our water sources even though the ocean is acidic enough to melt the shells of invertebrates, and the only thing keeping us in this cycle is that we believe in it more than we believe in alternatives. We don't need to live this way, but we will never reach it without changing our internal faith. The dialogues against futurism are always rooted in the same denial, hostility, and close-mindedness that houses bigotry under the pretense that this transformation has to be 30 years down the road, even though we don't have that long in current climate projections. People need to recognize how deeply indoctrinated we are from propaganda, including the agenda of depopulation that has been floating around for the entirety of the post-millennial generation. The carrying capacity of the planet is not population, it's pollution; we have embodied toxicity in our flesh and soul between micro-plastics, psychiatric drugs, hormones & chemical preservatives in food, hydrocarbons, and heavy metal poisoning underneath nationalistic and religious brainwashing. All this extra particulate in the body literally blocks and dams up inner fluid flow, preventing lymphatic drainage and affecting bioelectric cellular exchange which leads to the rise of cancer and disease. We are living in a God-less society...and for good reason. The name of God has been dragged through shit (quite literally with pedophilia) while being an excuse to maim, slaughter, and execute. Most people exist in religious trauma and the majority of faiths are rooted in toxic patriarchy from an abusive Father that has traumatized, belittled, persecuted, and shamed the Mother; the worst part being that these religious abuses have forced people into a cult of science that was bought by corporate interest and shames any research that did not get appropriate funding (check out the replication crisis). People who call themselves rational and intelligent have no shame in their hypocrisy that mocks ideas such as chakra (nerve plexi) and aura (electromagnetic fields produced by bio-electric current, the same way hammerhead sharks hunt) while calling anything outside of the profitable realm 'wu-wu'. The hyper-sane Tesla was incessantly degraded by this exact vein of failure even through his research in AC-currents, x-ray advancement, dynamo electric motors, hydroelectric power-plants, and his unfinished probes into wireless universal energy and fuel-free hypersonic airships; he was destroyed by propaganda and mockery without ever being truly recognized as the genius he was.Everything I have mentioned is a symptom of the toxic patriarchy that has fetishized Yang while barely understanding energy or spirit. The masculine Yang force is pure light without shape or form, untethered free radicals that creates molecular friction without the grounding or discharge from the electron Yin space. Within the flawed interpretation of original sin, within the persecution of healthy sexuality, within the tabooed symbology of darkness and fear of negativity, we have ceded the true essence of the creative birthing process that gives shape and face to matter while competing over which plastic gets to the dump first. The highest aspects of our humanity are completely out of alignment as people search for Love in attachments and pray for Heaven to come after death, neglecting the fact that our scriptures say to create a loving space for our neighbors while remaining free of judgment. They say be the change you want to see in the world, which is why my goals are to provide my alternative healthcare without profiting off illness while creating business ventures that will transform the planet...but it's impossible to fund business when my primary skillset is one that I do not profit from. I see the future with synthesis of spirit and science that understands the supernatural is built directly on top of the natural, that recognizes the invisible electrical interactions between consciousness both human and not (which is how my healing practice works, through feelings of safety and listening transmitted by mirror neuron synapses to discharge the hyperarousal state of Fight/Flight). My goals are for biodegradable plastics to overtake the scene, for decentralized universal power structures that fuel our every need, the purification of water sources not just for human use but to support dying flora and fauna as well, for alternative community structures that are not built on fragile import/export cycles putting every urban resident at risk, for revitalizing wild food forests to supplement simplified community permaculture while providing space for regrowing dying insects/bird/mammal populations, to promote the alternatives to internal combustion engines while recycling our immense scrap piles/mining dumps for gold and copper, to boom hemp industries in building material/biofuel/plastic/NANOSHEET SUPERCAPACITORS!!!, and eventually creating open source quantum internet across ley lines. I see the future, but I need the consent of humanity to begin. This consent is the turning point from industries that rape this planet, to the relationship that makes loving intercourse with the seed of light inside Gaia's womb to birth immense beauty of creation. If I have a million bucks, I will change the world.

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readwithem · 5 years ago

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I've never thought of minimalism until it started trending when Marie Kondo came into the picture. Then, the social media went berzerk. Everyone is decluttering now, bookshelves, wardrobes, bathroom cabinets. Showing to people and to eachother how easthetically beautiful their organised life is. Some named it Minimalism. That's how i caught it the first time. The feeling to get rid of some of the things and to rearrange the left-overs to rest the eyes. Well, it's supposed to rest other things in one's life than eyeballs. This book made everything clearer to me and i'm planning to keep it for future reference.

Fumio starts with some real life examples to showcase how minimalism is different for everyone. From traveling, to single life, to family life. From giving away everything to nothing at all. It's about what it means to you, because it's just a means to an end. And that end is healthy mental state, healthy relationships and healthy life. With each their own.

He explains where it came from. Tools have been a necessity of life since human beings first appeared. Then it became some sort of proof of power and social status. Happiness shifted from the joy of survival to the joy of people pleasing. Now, you can see how people try to assemble more things than they need, to show off the personnality society wants to see.

It quickly became a vicious circle to get more things to keep being happy. But with modern technology and the speeding data consumption and the social expectations, the inextensible human brain can't contain the amount of clutter. So, here comes anxiety and depression. And it shows in your home.

If i'm not bullshitting, minimalism is the specificity of ancient Japan (and Ghandi). It changed, of course, with occidentalisation and Internet. But, according to Fumio, Steve Jobs, the model of wearing the same outfit over and over, brought the miracle of Apple supplies, the electronical version of minimalism, which brought back the concept to the japanese. The sleekness, the cleaness and the simplicity of the macbooks made people appreciate life in its lackability (if that's a word...of course it's not).

Fumio then proceeds to give some tips to get into it gradually and to choose wisely what to get rid of and how, and i know how difficult it is to not have my personal things around.

Finally, he enumerates the outcomes of minimalism and how his miserable life drastically changed to the better, physically and most of all, mentally, thanks to the ultimate key to happiness, Gratitude.

Really enjoyed the book. Simple writing, straight to the point. To read and to re-read. If you plan to join the club, this book is for you. 9/10

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goodvibesatpeace · 6 years ago

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Dealing with energy vampires

Energy. It’s the very strength and vitality we require to live a dynamic, driven and determined life. We all have it and we all need it, yet many of us find ourselves lifeless and lethargic by the end (and sometimes at the beginning), of the day.Life is precious and unpredictably short-lived.

It’s no wonder then, that many of us drag ourselves through each day miserable and melancholic with the thought that we could be living much better lives.Throughout the ages, high-energy has been associated with happy, vivacious people, and low-energy with depressed and apathetic people.

Unfortunately, psychosomatic medicine has shown a strong link between the mind and body, meaning that the less energy we possess, the more prone we’ll be to suffer from illnesses such as depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.

It’s true that the healthy and happy person is one filled with energy. Without energy, how can we fulfill our dreams, pursue our goals and overcome our obstacles? Without energy, how can we hope to truly achieve anything of meaning or significance in life? It’s true that some people naturally possess more energy than others, but have you ever considered why? Certainly, genetics play a role, but more importantly the environment around us does as well.

EVERYTHING IS ENERGY

If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration. ~ Nikola Tesla

At a sub-atomic level, all that exists in life is composed of vibrating atoms, or pure energy. Even incorporeal things such as our thoughts, emotions, instincts and sexual drives can be said to be composed of energy. So essentially, we live in an ocean of motion, and like in the ocean – or any environment on earth for that matter – there are both predators and prey.

ENERGY VAMPIRES

In life, there are just some people who tend to drain us of energy very quickly. If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person, or an Empath, you will be very aware of who sucks your energy and when.

However, not all of us are as sensitive or in-tune with our bodies, and this can be difficult and confusing to deal with. While some people argue that Energy Vampires are people who can’t sustain their own life force in a positive manner, others speculate that Energy Vampires are well-meaning and normal, yet naturally overbearing people. The point of this article, however, is not to delve into the psychology of the Energy Vampire, but to identify and explore ways to strengthen and energize our lives in light of them.

There are two types of Energy Vampires:

Physical Energy Vampires

Some people are not able to continue on in this life without taking energy from those around them whether they know it or not.

They often have emotional or mental issues that drain them causing them to feed off of the energy of others.

An energetic part inside of this person attaches itself to you, and sets up the whole thing. This could be any person in your life a coworker, friend, family member, ETC.

Non-Physical Energy Vampires

These types of vampires often go undetected and enter our lives with ease. They are opportunists who will attach to energy siphons that another human is using.

They hit the hardest when you deal with something like trauma, injuries, addiction, and even extreme fear

HOW TO IDENTIFY THE ENERGY VAMPIRE

You will experience the following symptoms of being:

Overwhelmed

Stressed

Physically ill (e.g. headaches, body aches, etc.)

Mentally or physically exhausted

Irritable and/or anxious

You may notice that the Energy Vampire displays many of the following characteristics:

Big ego, e.g. loves to debate, argue and pick fights.

Aggressive or passive-aggressive tendencies.

Paranoia.

Resentment and anger issues.

Narcissism

Melodramatic behavior.

Whining and complaining.

Bitching and gossiping.

Insecurity, e.g. the constant need for reassurance and acceptance.

Manipulative behaviors, e.g. guilt tripping, emotional blackmail etc.

Jealousy.

Energy Vampires are, in most cases, takers rather than givers who gain free therapy sessions with their family, friends, lovers, colleagues and even children and strangers who are on the receiving end.

It’s also good to realize that Energy Vampires are not always necessarily human beings. They can also be situations or even physical objects in your life. Examples include:

The internet

The TV.

Other electronic devices (e.g. the radio, mobile phone, etc.)

Public situations (e.g. crowds, parties, train stations, shopping centers etc.)

Animals (e.g. neurotic pets)

The hardest thing about suffering at the hands of an Energy Vampire is when they are part of your family or friends circle. How can we regain our vitality in such energy-sucking relationships?

Sure you may be the prey, but there’s no use in playing the role of the victim. To better your life you need to do something. Here are some suggestions:

1. STOP MAKING PROLONGED EYE-CONTACT.

I’ve personally found that this is one of the biggest energy absorbers. The more eye-contact you make, the more you engage with the other person and what they have to say. Only occasional eye-contact is necessary in this instance.

2. SET A TIME LIMIT.

Your time is precious as well, and it’s not necessary for you to sit around for 1 or 2 hours having your energy zapped and brain numbed. According to your energy level, set a limit of 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes where you can give your focus to the person, and no more.

3. LEARN NOT TO REACT.

This is very important. The Energy Vampire feeds off the reactions of others, fueling them to continue on interacting with you. It’s important for you to learn how to be neutral in your interactions with others, meaning that the display of overly positive or negative emotions should be monitored carefully.

4. LEARN NOT TO ARGUE OR CONTRADICT.

Yes it’s tempting, but in the long run you can’t change other people unless they change themselves first – the more you resist them, the more they will resist (and drain) you.

5. GO WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

Approaching the Energy Vampire with 1, 2 or 3 other people will help decrease the level of effort expended, and attention received. For this to work you need to ensure that the additional people aren’t psychic leeches either.

6. LISTEN MORE THAN TALK.

A lot of the time Energy Vampires simply want and need a listening ear. The more you talk, the more energy you tend to lose (especially if you’re introverted). Using words such as “why”, “when” and “how” will encourage the psychic sucker to do most of the talking, which in turn will help preserve your energy.

7. TRY STICKING TO LIGHT-HEARTED TOPICS.

Your conversations don’t need to be depressive and oppressive. Take control when necessary and change the topic of conversation to something more light and simple.

8. VISUALIZE.

Many people claim that visualizing protective light/energy shields around them helps to deflect psychic fatigue, and maintain a neutral and calm state of mind. Try it some time.

9. AVOID WHEN POSSIBLE.

This is not always possible, but is a simple and straight-forward technique to assist in your self-preservation. I don’t recommend this as a consistent resolution, as the less you come in contact with the Vampire/s the less opportunity you’ll have to develop, and put into practice, a useful and necessary life skill.

10. CUT OFF CONTACT.

This is the last resort. Sometimes for your own health and happiness, you need to make difficult decisions regarding who you choose to surround yourself with. In the end, if you continue to suffer, the best option may be to simply cut ties and move on.

11. MEDITATE

Sometimes meditation really can solve this issue. Give yourself some time to break away from the chaos and recenter yourself. It works wonders for keeping negative energy and stress away!

12. STOP TRYING TO FIT IN

When you shrink yourself to fit into a group you are allowing yourself to be walked on. You never need to be less than what you truly are for sake of being accepted.

13. STOP TALKING TO PEOPLE THAT TALK AT YOU INSTEAD OF TO YOU

People who leave you feeling drained after phone calls or in person visits should not be apart of your life.

14. STOP LETTING PEOPLE MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT LIVING UP TO THEIR EXPECTATIONS

JUST BE YOURSELF, YOU ARE ENOUGH!

15. STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE WALK ALL OVER YOU

Doing the things other people want you to, even when you don’t want to is not right. You should never let people manipulate you into doing things for the wrong reasons.

16. STOP HAVING MEANINGLESS SEX

You should be sleeping with someone who loves you as you do them, not someone who you know is using you. Meaningful sex is the best sex.

17. STOP STAYING IN TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILIAR

18. STOP STAYING IN ABUSIVE SITUATIONS

Remember that in all of this you could also be stealing someone’s energy to combat the loss of your own.

If you want to make sure you are not stealing the energy of others maintain a good sense of self-love and do not let your inner strength die off.

You are Worthy... You are Enough

Much love to all... go in peace my beautiful friends 💕💕💕

Protect your energy!

#empath #energy #vampire #energy vampire #protect #meditation

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cyberomance532 · 5 years ago

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I’M WATCHING YOU: Cyberstalking Behaviors of University Students in Romantic Relationships (Marcum, Higgins & Nicholson, 2016)

When does a healthy curiosity about your partner’s online world turn into "cyberstalking”? Under the General Theory of Crime and Social Learning, it is when the Internet and other technological devices are used “to monitor or harass another person in a threatening way” (Reyns et al., 2012). Young adults prefer to use electronic communication to maintain relationships, and social networking platforms are crucial to initiating and maintaining relationships for this age group.

Though the Internet facilitates closeness and intimacy in positive relationships (Caughlin & Sharabi, 2013), it also enables toxicity in negative ones. One partner may easily monitor the other partner's activity through social media profiles, bank statements, email accounts, etc., especially if they have been entrusted with passwords. This has become so frequent among partners that it is legally considered cyberstalking. Individuals can also monitor their ex-partners over social media sites, a behavior called "creeping" or "Facebook stalking". These are internet-based adaptations of traditional stalking behaviors like opening a partner's mail or going through their diary. The term "cyber dating abuse" is often used interchangeably with cybberstalking to describe these adapted behaviors.

Many studies have found significant prevalence of cyberstalking amoung young people. According to Marcum, Higgins and Nicholson (2016), a range between 11 and 31.5% of adolescents and young adults have been victims of cyber dating abuse. These researchers constructed a research design to be "an exploratory examination of university students' participation in cyberstalking, or the current technological invasiveness behaviors in relationships" (Marcum et al., 2016). They sampled 5000 undergrads by survey, using a number of measures to assess levels of self-control and peer association, with the dependent measure being whether the participant "attempted to login to a significant other's social networking account without their knowledge".

This study found a correlation between attempted cyberstalking and low self-control, as well as with self-ratings of peer association. Males were also more likely to participate in cyberstalking behaviors than females. Many respondents believed that their friends also participated in these behaviors. These findings present insight into what some describe as the "electronic leash" phenomenon, cyberstalking which comes from a desire to monitor and control one's partner. One of the strongest messages we should take from this study is that many young adults are naive to the possibility of being cyberstalked by someone they love, or even that cyberstalking is an unhealthy behavior. Hopefully these results can inform youth-based organizations and programs which aim to combat this phenomenon.

REFERENCES

Caughlin, J., & Sharabi, L. (2013). A communicative interdependence perspective of close relationships: The connections between mediated and unmediated interactions matter. Journal of Communication, 63(5), 873–893.

Marcum, C. D., Higgins, G. E., & Nicholson, J. (2016). I’m Watching You: Cyberstalking Behaviors of University Students in Romantic Relationships. American Journal of Criminal Justice, 42(2), 373–388. doi: 10.1007/s12103-016-9358-2.

Reyns, B. W., Henson, B., & Fisher, B. S. (2012). Stalking in the twilight zone: Extent of cyberstalking victimization and offending among college students. Deviant Behavior, 33(1), 1–25.

Synopsis by I. Hanes, 2.29.20.

#cyberstalking #internet relationships #romantic relationships #cyber dating abuse #toxic relationships #social media

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quarterfromcanon · 6 years ago

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There’s A Reason Not to Want This (But I Forgot)

Heather & Valencia - Femslash February - Day 10 - 3 A.M. [2,418 words]

In retrospect, Heather admitted to herself that none of it was particularly surprising. Rebecca’s and Valencia’s joint effort to get over Josh was one thing while he remained single. It convinced them they had gained the upper-hand, that they took back their power and left a shared mistake in the dust at Electric Mesa. If he should be the one to bounce back first, however, and start a new relationship while both of them were unattached? A backslide into fixation was sure to be imminent.

They were all spending a mellow late afternoon together, and the dining room table was their shared work space. Conversation was sparse and consisted of mostly inane muttering, save for Rebecca’s less-than-subtle hints that she was not over her recent fight with Paula. Then Valencia declared her relief to be able to surf the web without danger of recent Josh content. That marked the beginning of the spiral.

Heather was in the middle of damage control with some online Miss Douche users, and so she only spared the passing thought that a little digital distance was probably healthy for both of her friends. Rebecca and Valencia began drawling nonsensically about their present browsing. There was a gradual shift in their speed like a stealthy verbal tennis match. The more bizarre their comments, the more difficult they became to ignore. Heather abandoned her A.M.A. during the course of this indecipherable conversation and looked back and forth between them.

Nothing had changed about their body language, but something was definitely amiss. Heather’s index finger traced pensively over the touchpad on her keyboard. Clues to what was happening under the surface might present themselves, but she had to be on the lookout. It was not long before both women’s jabbering departed from all reasonable explanation. Heather voiced the first theory that came to mind.

“Are you both high right now?”

Frankly, if that turned out to be the case, Heather was mostly disappointed she hadn’t been offered the chance to get in on it.

No such luck.

Valencia and Rebecca had just become aware of Anna Hicks, alternatively known as Anna the Browbarian. Her sole life event of genuine interest to them was that she appeared to now be dating Josh Chan. Heather watched with an equal blend of annoyance and dismay as Valencia circled to sit beside Rebecca and co-analyze the stranger.

“Guys,” Heather interjected in an effort to pull them back from the abyss, “don’t do this. If you fall down the rabbit hole of internet-ing an ex’s current girlfriend, you may never come back.”

Rebecca shushed Heather and gave her arm a light shove. Heather did not allow the dismissive response to deter her. She continued to caution them against their course of action, but to no avail. They were already too far gone. Heather gave an irritable shrug.

She lifted her computer and walked away from the table, but her departure was neither noticed nor remarked upon by the people she left there. “You two are completely ridiculous,” Heather grumbled on the way to her bedroom.

No reply.

That could have been the end of it. Perhaps it should have been, Heather conceded. Yet she seemed unable to leave them to their own devices. She reemerged from her room every half hour or so, under the pretense of some excuse or other, just to check on how they were doing.

“I’ve gotta use the restroom. Did either of you already call dibs? ... No? Okay, cool.”

“Did no one hear the washer buzz? We’re just gonna leave our wet clothes in there for hours, like a college campus? So much young fun -- I really missed out studying from home.”

“Dryer’s done. Aaaand, uh-huh, right where I left you. What a relief. Maybe you should, like, stand up and do some stretches at least? Keep the blood flowing? Or sit perfectly still while you talk over me and ignore me. I’m sure that works just as well.”

“Gonna make some dinner. Don’t let the clanging pots and pans disturb you. Whoa, watch out, using both computers now. Mixing it up. Good for you. Divide and conquer. That’s scientifically sound.”

Rebecca and Valencia spent the entirety of Heather’s meal prep time arguing about the creation of a fake Instagram account to gain access to Anna’s personal photos. Fortunately, logic -- or at least fear of the law -- prevailed without any intervention on Heather’s part. She poured two glasses of water and carried them to the table.

“Okay, clear a spot. You guys have gotta at least eat something.”

They both stirred a little as if they perceived her in their periphery even if there was no break in their discussion to acknowledge that. She plucked their servings of food off the edge of the island countertop and returned.

Heather nudged Valencia’s arm with the plate in her right hand. “V, check it out. Mini tempeh patties. We only have the makings for these in the house because of you. Do you wanna maybe try one?”

“Hmm?” Valencia finally tore her gaze from the screen. She turned to see what Heather was repeatedly tapping against her biceps and brightened. Her eyes lifted to Heather’s face with a touched expression. “Aww, they’re adorable! And they smell amazing.”

“Great. Maybe you should eat them, since it’s seven-thirty at night and the only thing you’ve chewed on since lunch is your own finger.” Heather handed the meal to her, along with a napkin to catch spillage before it could land on the electronics.

Valencia took a tentative bite and groaned. “So good. And small enough to keep at least one of my hands free for typing. Good thinking.”

“Yeah, you got me. All I want is for you to be able to keep searching.”

Valencia reached back and caught hold of Heather’s palm to give it an appreciative squeeze. “Thanks, Heathe. You didn’t have to.”

Heather watched Valencia’s fingers slide free from hers once more. “I mean, I kinda did since clearly neither of you were going to do it, but... You’re welcome.”

“Heatherrrr?” Rebecca wheedled while still clacking away at the keys. “When you were making Valencia cute little bean burgers, did you happen to throw on any --”

“Yours are the regular kosher,” Heather answered the question before it was voiced. “No lettuce or tomato.”

“Thaaaanks. You’re an angel.”

“Is that just a thing you call people who make you food? You said basically the same thing to my dad,” Heather reminded her.

The comment was ignored as the next page of Google results loaded. Heather carried her own dinner to her room and shut the door.

Long after midnight, Heather woke and realized she never heard the sounds of Rebecca getting ready for bed. She hadn’t picked up on the closing of the front door, either. Heather propped onto her elbows and tapped her phone to check the time. 3:28.

She rolled off the mattress, hissed at the frigidity of the floor on her feet, and shuffled into the common living space. Rebecca was sprawled forward in her seat with one arm curled across the bottom of the still-open laptop while the other was crooked under her ear. Valencia’s forehead was resting against her crossed wrists, face concealed from view.

Heather shook her head. She went to Rebecca’s bedroom first and grabbed her pillow and blanket. The fabric unfurled and trailed behind her as Heather brought the provisions back to her slumbering companion.

“All right, dude. Your neck will be killing you in the morning, so we’re just gonna...” She curled her fingers under Rebecca’s cheek and lifted her head. “Ugh! Oh my god. Yeah, so, that was a whole puddle of drool my hand just touched. Did not see it until now. That’s on me. Here’s your pillow.” Heather dried the spittle from her skin with her sleep shorts. She draped the blanket over Rebecca’s shoulders. “Sweet dreams, kiddo.”

Heather padded into her bedroom and opened the closet. She stood on tiptoe and pulled down a quilt that used to drape across the foot of her bed as a kid. Heather threw that over her shoulder and tucked the soft cushion from her chair under the opposite arm.

Valencia’s head had tilted to the side while Heather was gone. Strands of hair clung to her features. A few wisps twitched as her breath stirred them in passing. Heather reached out, hesitated, and then moved forward to coax the errant locks back into place. Her fingertips accidentally brushed Valencia’s lips in the process and their soft curvature against her knuckles made Heather’s insides feel like they all plummeted simultaneously to crash against her pelvis. She withdrew and tried to ignore her heart’s uptick in beats per minute.

Heather tucked the quilt securely around Valencia’s shoulders and torso, hoping it would be enough to keep the bulky stitched cloth from slipping free overnight. The cushion posed more of a problem. She would need to touch Valencia’s face again in order to slide the padding into place. Heather struggled with the approach for a moment. Her arm formed practice arcs in the air as she tried to work out which angle involved the least amount of contiguity. Ultimately, she settled on moving to the other side, where the tumble of tresses could act as a barrier between her fingertips and Valencia’s cheekbone.

She established a grip in the narrow opening between Valencia’s forearm and her jaw. Valencia stirred but did not wake. The shift of her body brought the weight of her head down on Heather’s wrist. Valencia responded to the external source of warmth and snuggled against Heather’s open hand.

“Nooo,” Heather whispered desperately. She tried to pull free, but Valencia was heavy with the complete relaxation of a deep sleep. Gingerly, Heather lifted Valencia’s head away from the table and inserted the cushion into the empty space. She managed to free her arm and gave it a subtle shake at her side. “There. Now at least you won’t wake up with an imprint of your bracelets between your eyebrows.”

Heather prepared to go back to bed, but an open tab on Valencia’s laptop caught her attention: How to Know If Someone Likes You.

“Right, because they were doing that weird thing trying to guess who initiated all of Anna’s breakups,” Heather mumbled. “I mean, either way, it left her single to date Josh now, so like, does it really matter which of them looked disinterested in their selfies?”

Her voice trailed off when she noticed the introduction below the title. ‘What hints suggest that someone is secretly interested? Is there somebody in your life who may be giving you signs they want to go from friend to romantic partner?’

“Well, that’s some unfortunately appropriate timing,” she observed. Heather glanced at Valencia. She grimaced and rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna regret this.”

Heather crouched beside Valencia’s chair and began skimming through the article. As she took in each behavior on the list, flashes of images appeared in her mind’s eye.

Clue #1 Personal Questions Valencia wanting stories for every aspect of the rooms at her old house... being so earnestly fascinated by all the hobbies she let fall by the wayside and skills she never fully developed... prompting her just enough to learn how she really felt about her parents...

Clue #2 Changing Space Or, rather, eliminating it, Heather learned upon reading the paragraph. Valencia bumping against her as they climbed the stairs... often sitting so close they were touching from hip to knee... Valencia grabbing her hand to thank her even though a verbal expression would’ve sufficed...

Clue #3 Mirrored Behavior Valencia following her lead at the disastrous Sex Toy party, copying her body language and responses to the drama that unfolded, sticking so close to her side that sometimes they moved and reacted as one...

Clue #4 Eye Contact There were too many now, parading through her memory in a flickering series like photographs in a zoetrope. Valencia, never shying from her gaze, always lingering with warmth and trust behind her dark irises...

Heather frowned. Everything was stacking up favorably, but none of it felt irrefutable after a day of Valencia obsessing over her ex-boyfriend’s new flame. Besides, many of those meaningful moments could easily be attributed to Valencia’s concern over being a good friend. Their trio meant the world to her, and she was not shy about expressing that fact.

If anything, Heather’s own actions might give cause for scrutiny. She squirmed uncomfortably with the knowledge that she’d been making a lot of exceptions for Valencia ever since they began spending regular time together. It felt important to help ease Valencia into this new world of female friendships, and to look out for her as the transition presented challenges. That being said, a commitment to offering herself as a dependable guide did nothing to explain away the quickening of Heather’s pulse every time their physical contact lasted for longer than was socially customary.

Heather’s sigh echoed through the stillness. “Guess I might as well read the last one.”

Clue #5 Special Attentiveness ‘When you are with the person in question, do they do the following: Offer you their coat when the air gets cold?’

Heather turned slowly and looked at the cover - her childhood quilt - where it lay wrapped snugly around Valencia.

“... Crap.” She dragged the scrollbar back to the top of the page and stood. “Nope, universe, we’re done here. That’s on-the-nose even for you. It is way too early in the day for you to be at-ing me directly, so just... chill.”

Valencia opened one eye at the sound of Heather’s voice. “Did I miss something? Is everything okay?”

Heather jammed her hands into the pockets of her shorts. “Don’t worry. You’ve still got hours before sunrise. Go back to sleep.”

Valencia tilted her head to indicate the vacant chair between her seat and Rebecca’s. “Maybe you could come out here too, so you’re not the only one sleeping alone.”

Heather laughed quietly. “Day-long lower back pain and breadcrumbs stuck to my chin. Sounds super tempting.”

A slow, sleepy grin crossed Valencia’s face. “Yeah, that’s fair. See you in the morning?”

“I’ll be around.”

“Mm-kay.” Valencia hugged the cushion and fell silent.

Heather strode back in the direction of her room, but a parting sentiment from Valencia halted her steps.

“G'night, Heather.”

Heather gripped the corner of the wall and looked over her shoulder. “Goodnight, V.”

#H+V FF #CEG Writing by Me #Helencia #Heather x Valencia

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