#i have a beginning and an end for a christmas fic but sadly no middle lol

[lies-unfurl]

Once again thinking about how canonically the Blip happened in October and TFaTWS began in March of the following year, meaning that there was a Christmas that took place between the two... how did Sam and Bucky spend it???

I'm certain Sam would have been in Delacroix, but talk about emotional whiplash: from his perspective, he's three months out from being on the run from the US government, and now he has to cope with the fact that he was gone for five years, and suddenly he's alive and free and supposed to be merry on top of all that?

And he's celebrating with two nephews he barely knows, who would've been babies or toddlers when he saw them last. Plus a sister who lost her husband -- we don't know exactly when, but it's reasonable to assume it was while Sam was on the run or snapped out of existence; she and Sam have their childhood in common, but Sam has been out of her life for years, and no matter how glad she is to have him back, there's got to be something fraught in their dynamic.

Does Sam wake up on Christmas morning and see the shield, and think about the Steve-shaped hole in his life? Does he spend the whole day celebrating and smiling and laughing and genuinely having a good time, even though part of him still feels like he's going to just disappear?

And does Sam text Bucky? Maybe he even tries calling him, because it's Christmas and even if Bucky has been ignoring him, he still feels bad that Bucky is alone?

(And Bucky is alone; he told Dr. Raynor that he was planning to get Chinese food and walk around the city, but when he hears his neighbors playing carols and laughing with their family, he decides to just stay in. Going out would mean being faced with all the celebrating, happy people, and that feels so inaccessible to him that he'd rather just avoid it altogether.)

(And he ignores Sam's call for the same reason: because he knows Sam will be able to hear how happy he isn't, and it wouldn't be fair for him to ruin Sam's Christmas like that.)

So Sam just hangs up and slips back in to rejoin the festivities, and he doesn't let anyone know that even though he wasn't expecting Bucky to answer, he's still kind of upset that he didn't get to talk to the one person who might understand the complicated shape of all the joy and the grief that he's feeling that day.

[lycan-troth]

Thought about watching one of the Harry Potter films as my Christmas film this year. However, I decided on something more comforting; The Hobbit: The Unexpected Journey.

My favourite bits are at the beginning when Bilbo is recounting the past, Thorin's past, and when he banters with Frodo. It's just so nice to see Frodo as he was before he carried the ring, he's so lively, content and free of trauma. I like when Bilbo saves Thorin from Azog too, that scene on the carrock, when Thorin embraces him. Something I find a little funny is how Frodo resembles Thorin a little bit; blue eyes, somewhat similar shade of hair although it's more like Kili's really, and his gentleness reminds me of The Battle of the Five Armies when Thorin would only show gentle, fond smiles/expressions to Bilbo.

If Thorin behaved more like that on screen, I feel like the sense of resemblance/familiarity might be more obvious. Not to say that they are the same character, they're both rather different but there's still those vague similarities between them. I do ship bagginshield, and I am guilty of indulging in fix-it fics with them being a family with Frodo, so I could very well be biased about the concept. Regardless, it is fun in a sad sort of way to imagine Bilbo being of a similar mindset; scenario being that Thorin is dead and Bilbo sees elements of him in almost everything. So he too could be biased because he sorely wishes that Thorin were alive, but he isn't and its such a hard thing to accept especially because it was traumatising too. So, when he adopted Frodo it would be easy to see glimpses of Thorin in him, merely because it could be what he wanted to see.

In Frodo's soft, fond face he would see that rare gentleness and vulnerability that Thorin showed him near the end. Bilbo would see Thorin in the colours Frodo would fashion and in the way he would quietly observe the world. However, there's plenty of room to argue for the opposite; that Thorin and Frodo are too different, despite how much Bilbo could long to see Thorin in his nephew. Although, it could be a balance or mix of both; that there are just as many similarities as there are differences between them. To be honest, I do tend to dislike in fics where Frodo is very similar to Thorin; to the point that he reads as being an oc almost. I like the idea of them being somewhat at odds because of their differences, which potentially gets in the way of seeing the few similarities they might share. Frodo isn't prone to brood somewhat menacingly like Thorin, he'd grow quiet but he would willingly open up if prompted into conversation. Frodo wouldn't be as knowledgeable about the world or be fuelled with seeking justice; he's motivated by doing what he thinks is the right thing to do like saving The Shire.

Where Thorin would be able to carry on after experiencing great loss, Frodo isn't able to live with the trauma of it in the long run. That isn't to say Frodo is weak because he isn't; it takes great strength and resolve to do what he did in the end. I suppose they might find more common ground in their losses and trauma. Frodo is changed by his journey similar to how Erebor changed Thorin. The greed, that filthy desire for material objects; the arkenstone and the one ring. Both are figurative sicknesses that cause greater harm than imagined. That is something they could have bonded over, and sadly Bilbo too.

This is all just me rambling, but it's fun to think about these concepts; all the what ifs. Majority of these are heavily based on just the trilogy, not the book. I am in the middle of reading it though, a little disappointed at the lack of characterisation from the dwarves so far. I like how different Bilbo is at the start compared to the film; the book characterisation of him is something I'm rather enjoying. And of course I'm always scowering each page for details and mentions of Thorin! Still not too much about him yet, although noticeably he's not nearly as off-putting towards Bilbo as he is in the beginning of the film. Instead he merely tolerates him, well, mostly ignores him. I'm looking forward to Bilbo becoming friends with them all as the story progresses. His relationships with the dwarves are one of my favourite things about the trilogy.

[cupidhaos]

not just on christmas

pairing: choi seungcheol x gn reader

word count: 2.8k

genre: fluff, angst w/ a happy ending, non idol au, slice of life, xmas fic

summary: after breaking up with seungcheol, you look back on some winter memories that you made together as you prepare to spend christmas eve alone

warnings: none

song rec: the best thing i ever did | twice

a/n: okay so this is like the first written fic that i’m posting that isn’t part of any of my social media aus and i wont lie im a little nervous im kinda shy (ಥ﹏ಥ) OKAY ANYWAYS i wanted to post this cute little cheol fic i wrote as a kinda christmas present to u all!! and if u don’t celebrate xmas then its just a present!! i hope u enjoy it bc honestly winter activities r so cute!! i hope ur all staying warm and healthy!! <33

choi seungcheol was the love of your life. the two of you had planned your futures out together, under the assumption they’d be together still. but as you sit on your bed sadly watching reruns of some cheesy holiday romance movies - you begin to think otherwise.

a misunderstanding and a wrong choice of words has now led to this misfortune that left you with a pile of tissues surrounding your bed. you don’t move from the spot on your bed until the buzzing of your phone was heard. lazily picking up your phone, you press on the call button to answer.

“hello, who is it” you groggily greet the person on the other end of the line.

“be ready in five minutes. i’m on my way” was all that they said before ending the call.

you weren’t even able to get a word in before the call had ended. sighing and placing your phone back down on the bed. you slowly get up and look at the picture frame that was placed on the side of your bed. it was a photo of you and seungcheol smiling happily on one of your very first dates.

“seungcheol! hurry up!” you called out to your boyfriend as you walk ahead of him, holding  onto his hand tightly as you dragged him behind you. seungcheol lets out a low chuckle as he continued to let you drag him - slightly putting pressure on his feet against the ground to give you a harder time.

this didn’t stop you though as you continued to pull him behind. both of your mitten covered hands clasped within one another.

“i don’t even know how to skate!” seungcheol retorted playfully, though his voice was muffled by the scarf that covered half of his face. you just shrugged him off in response as the two of you neared the ice skating rink.

“i don’t either - but that makes it even more fun!” you told him cheekily as you two get in front of the outdoor ice skating rink.“two people please!” you said to the clerk, holding up two fingers.

“oh yes! two people please! one for me and one for my beautiful date.” seungcheol states as he gestures towards you with that last sentence. your face turns red as you try to hold back a smile “stop” you whisper to him as you playfully hit his chest.

“what?” seungcheol whispers back in feign cluelessness. you felt your face heat up even more as seungcheol wrapped an arm around your shoulder - pulling you closer to his warm body. he holds both of your hands up high as you two continue waiting for your skating shoes.

“excuse me!” he announces loudly, causing your eyes widen. you attempt to try and put your hands back down before he can say anything, but it didn’t help that his grip held you tightly. a couple of people passing by turn to look towards the two of you as he continues to ignore your attempts of stopping him. “this person right here!” he loudly says as he gestures down towards you.“is my very beautiful date!”

seungcheol then puts your hands back down as you hit his chest again. all he does laughs in response and pulls you closer to his chest. you bury your face into his sweater and he wraps his arms around your shoulders as he continues laughing at your reaction. you just shake your head at his antics as you shyly hug him back.

sooner or later, the two of you are in the ice skating rink.

“seungcheol!” you yell out at your boyfriend who was now the one to pulling you. he smiles as he watches your attempts in stabilizing yourself.

“aw come here” he coos as he pulls you closer towards the edge of the ice rink. you grab the edge and you both begin to skate slowly.

“you said that you didn’t know how to skate.” you pout at your calm boyfriend. seungcheol just shrugged though as his smile never wavered “guess you can say i’m a natural like that!”

you roll your eyes at him before he turns around to fully face you. grabbing your hands - you feel yourself slowly glide towards him. he mimics the pout on your face as he brushes a strand of hair from your eyes. you feel your breath hitch as he leaned in close.

your eyes fluttered shut as you waited for what was to come. that was until you felt his hand leave your face. opening your eyes, you see seungcheol staring at you with a playful grin. “you can get a kiss if you catch me!” were the last words you heard before he turned around and quickly skated away.

“choi seungcheol!” you called out with a laugh as you slowly started to skate towards him.

with a sigh, you slowly place the photo back down. a couple of minutes later, you hear the honking of a car outside of your apartment - indicating that your ride was now here.

the car ride was silent aside from the music quietly playing in the background.

“where are we going?” you quietly asked as jeonghan continued driving.

“you’ll see”

ten or so minutes of driving, you two finally reached the destination.

“why are we at a cafe?” you question after a couple of minutes waiting inside of the cafe. the waitress brings your drinks to your table and jeonghan just shrugs in response to your question. as he grabbed his cup to take a sip from it -  he spits it back out quickly and you just hand him a napkin as you give a judging look towards your friend.

“okay - so that was hot. i suggest that you wait a while until you drink yours.” jeonghan suggests as he gestures towards your cup. you looked down at the cup of hot cocoa - staring at the swirls that the deflated foam created at the top of the drink.

“you have some whipped cream right there.” seungcheol pointed out as the two of you stood in the middle of a park on a cold winter afternoon.

“huh? where?” you ask, looking back up at him. seungcheol stares at you for a moment before quickly leaning in - catching his lips with yours. you didn’t have anytime to react though, because once you processed what was happening he had already pulled away.

“sorry i just had to - but hey! i got it!” he cheers and all you can do is laugh. you grabs his hand again as you both continued through the snow covered park. swinging your arms back and forth as you walked throughout the park.

it was silent between the two of you before you felt something soft land on top of your hair. curiously looking up, a wide grin soon spreads across your face.

“look! it’s snowing!” you gasped, causing seungcheol to look up as well. he looked back at you  though as he watched you from the side. you admired the snow that fell softly, landing gently on top of your head. seungcheol lets out a small chuckle as he takes off the scarf  he was wearing, wrapping it around your neck.

“huh?” you ask as you look back towards your boyfriend. he just shrugs though as he continues to adjust the scarf around your neck. “you looked cold - and i can’t have you getting sick, can i? i mean who else am i gonna kiss?”

you felt your face heat up at that last comment and seungcheol’s face did as well. he looked back up at you while giving you a knowing look. with an over dramatic gasp, he points towards your reddening cheeks.

“look! your cheeks are already red!”

your eyes widened as you bring your hands up to cover your face. he just grabs your hands with a laugh though - pulling them away from you “stop hiding your face - you’re cute.”

shaking your head, you raise a finger up to point towards his cheeks. “what are you even talking about! your cheeks are red also!”

the blush on seungcheol’s face reddens as he struggles to look for the right words to respond back with. you just give him a small smile though as you unravel the scarf from around your neck. seungcheol puts his hands up to stop you, but is too late once you wrap the long scarf around both of your necks.

“there we go! now both of us can stay warm and none of us will have to get sick.” you state  - making the smile on seungcheol’s face grow ten times its original size. the two of you continue to smile at each other before seungcheol brings his hands up to softly cradle your face.

“and i can continue to kiss you.” he adds on as he squishes your cheeks playfully - right before leaning in to give you another kiss. the warmth of the kiss satisfies both of you as you continued to stand in the park as the snow falls gently from the cloudy sky.

“hello? earth to y/n?”

you quickly snap out of your thoughts as you look back up at your friend with a lost look “i’m sorry - what did you say?”

jeonghan just laughs at you which causes a pout to appear on your lips.

“i knew you weren’t listening. but i just wanted to talk to you again about joining me and shua for christmas eve tonight.” jeonghan offers you. you automatically shake your head though, kindly declining him “jeonghan i already told you that i didn’t want to bother you guys.”

a frown formed on jeonghan’s face at your comment. “you’re not bothering us! he invited vernon and the others over also so it isn’t an issue at all. we want you there with us!”

you just wave him off once again as you decline “it’s fine. seriously jeonghan - don’t worry.”

the frown on jeonghan’s face just deepened as he gave you a worried look. “how could i not be worried? you’re gonna be all alone on christmas eve.” he tells you with a pout. you just gave your friend a reassuring smile as he took a piece of his muffin and stuffing it in his mouth.

“seriously jeonghan i’ll be okay.”

the two of you finished up your food and headed back towards your apartment. as you exited the car, jeonghan leans over his seat and leans out of the window.

“i have to go and prepare for tonight, but just remember that if you ever change your mind - the party starts at 7, okay?” he yelled out as you walked away you just nod your head and gave your friend a thumbs up before entering into your apartment complex

as you came in, you sigh loudly. your shoulders immediately slumped as you plopped down onto the couch. another memory soon coming to mind.

“god you two are disgusting” jeonghan grimaces and joshua just laughs next to him. seungcheol sticks out his tongue playfully as the four of you continued to walk together. you just laugh from where you stood next to seungcheol as he squeezes your hand.

“you’re just jealous that i got a cute date with me aren’t you?” your boyfriend teases. joshua and jeonghan both scoff loudly at his question.

“whoever said we don’t like being single! you and y/n are just gross all the time!” jeonghan retorts.

“yeah! you’re both rubbing in your lovey dovey stuff all in our faces to mock us” joshua adds on. seungcheol just rolls his eyes at his friends as you all walked through all the decorative lights and attractions at the park.

“it’s not my fault you two decided to tag along on our date”

this causes the two roommates to gasp dramatically. jeonghan turns to joshua, ignoring seungcheol’s presence “joshua let’s go and check out those goats in the petting zoo since we’re apparently BOTHERING the love birds here”

“i think that’s a GREAT idea jeonghan!” joshua loudly announces before the two of them stalk off towards the direction of the petting zoo. its quiet for a little while before you and seungcheol turn to look at eachother.

“wanna go see the lights now?” seungcheol offers you, a wide smile spreading across your face.

you excitedly nod at his offer and the two of you quickly make your way towards the lights display. you both gasped as you began to look at all the bright christmas lights in awe.

“cheol look at that one!” you point towards another bright display a bit farther off. you both began walking towards the display smiling brightly as you stare at everything in awe. dropping seungcheol’s hand, you fish for your phone from your pocket to take photos of all the bright lights. seungcheol smiles fondly at you as he also takes out his phone. he starts to take pictures of the lights as well before his phone slowly drifts towards your direction instead.

you continued to take photos of the lights as seungcheol continues to take photos you. you  glance towards to the side, causing seungcheol to act as if he was taking photos of the lights around you instead. a shy smile forms on your face as you place your phone back into your pocket. grabbing onto his hand, he puts his phone back into his pocket as well.

“i kinda wanna go see the goats now.” you sheepishly admit, causing seungcheol to laugh.

“honestly me too, i also may feel a little bad for sending shua and han off like that. don’t tell them i said that though”

bringing a hand up to your face, you feel a tear fall from your eye. glancing towards the clock, you just now realize just how long you had been sitting there.

the clock blinks 5:47 PM as you quietly sigh.

“ah screw this. i have nothing else to do i might as well go” you mumble to yourself. getting up from the sofa, you slip on your coat and quickly put on your shoes. as you open your door to leave, you feel your heart stop as you see who was standing on the other side.

seungcheol’s eyes widened as he freezes in his tracks - one of his hands in the air as if he was just about to knock on the door. you felt your breath hitch as you both stare at each other in shock.

“hi”

“hello”

you shake your head from your thoughts as you look down towards your shoes.

“what are you doing here?” you ask him quietly, gripping the sides of your coat nervously..

seungcheol looks away as he sheepishly scratches the back of his neck.

“jeonghan told me you were spending christmas alone and i just- i don’t know i guess hearing that led me back here. i was worried.” he admits, mumbling the last part under his breath. you felt your throat close up at his words.

“you were worried about me?” you asked, eyes widening at his confession. he quickly looks up at you with furrowed and confused eyebrows “i always worry about you.”

you weren’t sure what to say, all you could was stare at him in shock.

“i miss you” seungcheol blurts aloud, his face quickly turning red.

“you miss me?” you asked with a surprised look on your face.

“i’ve been missing you. i’m sorry about the fight, and i’m sorry about what i said. i want us to be how we were before. i just - i want you back.” seungcheol confessed as you stood in front of him frozen.

“but only if you want to be together again! but if you don’t i understand-”

“-i miss you too.” you confess, cutting him off. seungcheol stops in his tracks as a smile spreads across his face. the same smile that always made you heart race.

“so does that mean we’re together again?” he asks, hopefulness laced in his tone. you just laugh at his nervous demeanor.

“i mean… technically… if you really want to be...”

seungcheol just smiles before he takes something green out of his pocket.

“i brought mistletoe just in case this was the route we were to go down.” he says with a grin. you  just look at him with a confused look on your face. “cheol that’s basil.”

he looks up at the stem of basil leaves he held above the two of you with confusion “but… jeonghan told me this was mistletoe”

“theres a bit of a difference between the two - how can you get it mixed up?

“i don’t know! i was in a rush and i just knew that it was green! can you just act like its mistletoe?”

“but it’s basil -” you start off with a laugh, before being cut off by a soft pair of lips.

out of all the things that were to happen tonight, kissing choi seungcheol underneath a stem of basil leaves hanging above both of your heads was something you would’ve never expected.

-

m.list

[jellybeanium124]

I made a 1,200 word one-off fic about each of the siblings leaving the Academy from Luther’s perspective. It was pretty fun to write and I hope y’all enjoy reading it!

Five was the first to leave, obviously. I didn’t think much of it at the beginning, and neither did the others. He’d been the king of sneaking out for as long as we could remember, and for the first week or so we were all joking around that he was hiding in the dumpster behind Griddy’s or at one of the cruddy motels around town. Vanya was the first to ask us to stop making jokes, nine days after he disappeared. She was always the closest to him, and I’m a little embarrassed to say we continued to do it (mostly behind her back) for the next few days. Two weeks, then three weeks. Allison and Ben told us to shut up, and then finally me and Diego laid off. Klaus shut up pretty quickly after that because he was no longer getting a laugh. Maybe he also missed our brother. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if Klaus has a brain… or a heart.

Come to think of it, I don’t remember dad ever mentioning a search and rescue crew. Police never showed up to interview us or dad, Grace, or Pogo. He never sent us on a mission to find Five either. I assumed at the time that there was some sort of search and rescue going on, but now I know better. He never looked at my moon reports, and he never looked for Five.

Ben was the next to go. No joking this time. It was awful. Terrible funeral. I’ll never forget it either. Five’s ego is what caused him to go missing, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault. It was my fault. I’m Number One. I should’ve saved him.

Diego was next, the following spring. He got into some sort of fight with dad, and they were actually yelling at each other. I could probably count on one hand how many times I’ve heard dad actually yell, and if I’m being honest… it was terrifying. I went up to my room and shut my door, but I could still hear them. I stuffed a blanket under my door and it was a little better. Then I plugged my headphones into my record player and blasted the music as loud as I could. I didn’t cry. I don’t cry. I wasn’t looking forward to dinner.

The background noise stopped, and I took off my headphones. I pushed the blanket aside and opened my door. Allison was standing in her doorway too.

“Is it over?” she asked.

“I dunno.”

Diego stormed into his room, looking more angry than I’d ever seen him. Of course, I had to talk to him.

“Hey, what happened?” I asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You’re packing…” I said. He was hastily shoving clothing into a suitcase, not that we had much that wasn’t our school uniforms or mission suits. It was mostly clothes left over from missions where we had to go undercover. A nice suit and tie, Hawaiian shirt, a pair of jeans, a pair of sneakers.

“Yeah, I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? Where?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, where are you going?”

“I just said I don’t know.”

“You can’t just leave.”

“Can’t I?” Diego said, turning around and staring me down with hot eyes.

“We’re 17. And you don’t have any money.”

“I have some.”

“Did you steal things from dad?”

Diego turned back around and didn’t respond. Everyone had stolen something from dad over the years. Even me. We needed money for donuts and birthday presents and lockets somehow.

He struggled to shut the suitcase, and--

“Want help?”

“No.”

He eventually got it closed and tried to rush past me.

“You’re really leaving.” I said.

“Yeah,” he replied, looking at me like I was an idiot. “I can’t live here anymore. Not with that bastard. Someday you’re gonna feel that way too.”

I furrowed my brow. Frankly, I’d never thought of myself being anywhere else. I was the leader of the Umbrella Academy.

“Let me go, Luther.”

I hesitated for a moment. “Couldn’t you just apologize?”

“No.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. Let me go.”

I moved aside. Diego peaked into everyone’s rooms and said goodbye to Allison, Vanya, then Klaus. Then he left.

Vanya was next. She left that August for college, Juilliard. I couldn’t imagine anything better for her. Looking back now, I always assumed she’d leave and the rest of us would stay. It was sad to see her go, but it wasn’t permanent. She came back for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring break. Her freshman year was the only time she’d do that, though. She came back that summer, and then for Christmas break again, and summer, but that was it. Junior year she found somewhere else to spend Christmas.

But before all that, Klaus left. He was kicked out the February after Vanya went to college. Ever since Diego left and missions dwindled, he’d been spending a lot more time out of the house anyways. He’d disappear for days on end, and when he was here, his room smelled like weed and he had a lot of weird, gross friends over. I hardly ever saw him at meals, but once or twice I caught him in the kitchen in the middle of the night making God-knows-what and talking to himself. Dad eventually came up to our rooms one cold winter day, saw and smelled the state of Klaus and yelled at him to clean up or get out. Klaus got out. His last words before going out the front door was “I’ll be back!” He was not.

Now it was down to me and Allison. She sat me down in her room two weeks after Klaus was kicked out, telling me she had something important to say.

“I’ve been waitlisted at Ithaca.”

“Ithaca?”

“College. Dad’s letting Grace take me for an interview in their acting program. I’m going to get in.”

I didn’t ask her to elaborate. We both knew how she was getting off the waitlist.

“Oh,” I said.

Allison sighed. “I should’ve done this last year, like Vanya, but I kept putting off applying to schools until it was too late. But I’m not putting it off another year. I’m going to go.”

“Oh.”

I looked down. I didn’t know how to respond. I knew in my heart this was coming. Of course Allison was going to go to college, and then to Hollywood, probably. She’d make a great actress.

“You okay, Luther?”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “You’ll do great. I’m really happy for you.”

She smiled, but it was a little sadly. “Thanks. I know I’ll be in New York, but I’ll come back on breaks, like Vanya. And I’ll still be here for you. Have you applied to any schools?”

“No.” I said. College just wasn’t the place for me.

“Okay. Well, when you figure out what you wanna do, let me know. I’ll be happy to do anything for you.”

I smiled at her, almost tearing up. “Thanks. I will,” I said, before getting up and leaving.

But I already knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be Number One, and lead the Umbrella Academy.

But I failed at that.

And now there was no one to lead.

At least not for a long, long time.

[fallen-angel-92]

Caged Within

Chapter one: The Lonely Bird

Warnings: Cussing, foul language

Rating: Mature

A/N: Hello. I wanted to do a therapy fic that would help me through my rough patches in life and so this fic was born. I also would like to thank my friend, Ash, for editing and looking over this fic for me. I would also like to thank @tilltheendwilliwrite and @teejaywyatt1​  for their wonderful support. 

Summary: Serenity Ross, a woman known for her lone wolf nature and her inability to find a date due to her body type. After being stood up for the tenth time since moving to Mill Neck. However, a single phone call will cause her to face demons that were long since buried. 

“Where does the darkness end, and the light begin? In that regard I may never know, for my days were always dark.” - unknown.

It was a normal morning; the sun rose over the horizon, a lone woman sat upon her back porch, dark brown eyes staring blankly at the sun. The dark bags underneath her eyes, showing the sun that she has not slept well. Lifting her right hand, she pushes her glasses back up over her eyes and in their proper place. As she removed her hand from her face, her eyes glanced at the long sleeves and her dry chubby hands. She stared at them for a moment, before she suddenly heard her cell phone ringing. Letting out a small sigh, she stood up, walking up the step she was originally sitting on and re-entered her home.

Closing the door behind her, she silently made her way back into the house, her bare feet making no noise as she walked across the wooden flooring. Upon the table she could see the name:

                                                Crystal

She frowned, knowing that she would want to know how last night went, clenching her eyes shut as she picked up the phone off the table and pressed the answer button.

“Hello.” She tiredly spoke into the phone.

“Serenity! Girl, how did last night go!? Wasn’t’ he a looker?” She started speaking excitingly through the phone.

Serenity reached the phone away from her ear as she walked over to the nearby table and sat down on it. The chair scraped against the floor slightly, causing a loud enough noise for Crystal to go silent. As soon as Serenity placed her weight upon the chair, she solemnly spoke,

“He didn’t show…”

“What the fuck!? What the hell you mean he didn’t show!? That son of a bitch! I’m gonna fucking knock his ass out-” Crystal began to speak angrily, however, Serenity spoke again with a defeated tone,

“Crystal… It’s fine. I knew this would happen, anyway. I seem to attract the wrong type of men…” Serenity stated as she looked down at the grooves within her wooden table.

“Serenity-” Crystal spoke again, however, she was cut off once more by the sound of beeping on her end of the phone.

“This asshole… I’ll call you back, home girl. I am about to go fucking Madea on this mutha fucka.”

Serenity simply shook her head as she responded, “Don’t worry. You know if I don’t answer it’s probably because I went back to sleep.”

“Alright, Serenity. I’ll talk to you later. Love ya.” Crystal spoke calmly before hanging up.

Serenity simply took the phone away from her ear, placing it down onto the table, and looked at the time. Sighing, as she slowly got up from her seat and walked into the kitchen that was connected to the dining room. Serenity didn’t make it far as her phone rang again. Looking over her shoulder, she closed her eyes for a moment and quickly went back over to her phone to see who was calling her,

                                                    POPS

Serenity quickly picked up the phone answering and put her phone on speaker as she firefly spoke.

“Hello pops.”

“Hey Sweetheart. You alright? You sound tired?” Her father’s deep, gruff voice asked with a hint of worry.

Serenity placed the phone upon the counter next to the stove as she walked around the kitchen aimlessly looking for food as she replied,

“Yes, sir. I am tired… Didn’t sleep well last night…”

“Nightmares? Or that lousy date the Crystal set you up on?” He responded with a slight grouchy tone.

Serenity looked over the phone with a bit of amusement at her father’s tone as she replied, “Both, I suppose…”

“How lousy was the date?” Her father asked, amusement coating his voice.

“Lousy to the point he didn’t show at all-”

“What the fuck? The hell you mean he didn’t show?” Her father cut in angrily.

Serenity looked at the phone with a sad smile as she replied, trying to prevent tears from forming in her eyes, “It always happens pops. I should be used to it by now.”

“No, you fucking shouldn’t be used to it. Next time Crystal tries to set you up. Tell her to ‘fuck off.’ Obviously these men can’t handle you if they aren’t even showing up.”

“You know she is just trying to be a friend, pops.” Serenity weakly argued as she pulled out eggs, bacon and cheese and a pan so she could begin breakfast.

“Some fucking friend she is, if all the shit heads she has tried to set you up with keep fucking standing you up-”

Serenity could hear her father take a deep breath, and releasing it slowly, trying to rain in his anger before continuing on in a more calm manner.

“Sorry sweetheart, I know she’s your friend in everything, but she sucks fucking ass at trying to make you feel better by setting you up on these stupid was dates. As for your nightmare, was it the same one?”

Serenity cracked an egg in her now hot pan as she quietly replied, “Yes pops.”

She could hear her father lowly grumble, just as she opened her mouth to apologize a familiar British voice speaks up through the phone,

“Oi! Barney! Who are you talking to?”

“When the hell did it become your business on who the fuck I talk too on the phone!?” She could hear him yell back.

Serenity smiled slightly as she flipped the egg over, after puncturing the yolk, making the egg completely flat. As the egg cooked on the other side, she could hear the familiar voice of her father’s British companion speak up once again, obviously annoyed,

“What? You got some mistress or something?”

“The fuck you on, Christmas? Can’t a man talk to his daughter?”

“That Pup on the phone? Pup! When the hell are you coming to visit? Your old man sucks ass at cooking!” Another deep male accented voice chimed in.

“Fuck you, Gunnar! I have to let you go, sweetheart. Love you and I’ll call you later on today.” Her father said as he hung up the phone.

Serenity smiled sadly at the phone as she finished making her egg, cheese and bacon sandwiches. After plating her breakfast, she put the dirty dishes into the sink, opting to do them later before heading back into the dinning room and quickly ate her meal. After finishing, she returned to the kitchen to throw away her paper plate and do the little bit of dishes that were in the sink. Once they were done, Serenity dried her hands off and made her way toward the hall that led to her bedroom.

Her bedroom was a modest size, despite the gothic like architecture that went into the home. She walked over to her drawers, pulling out fresh clothes for her to wear today, as soon she made her choice of simple jeans and a loose fitting button up red long sleeve shirt. Turning to her left, she entered the doorway that led to her bathroom. Upon entering, Serenity turned on the lights before she set her clothes down onto the toilet. As she removed her shirt, her eyes caught her reflection causing her to look at. In the mirror, she could see the bags under her eyes that seemed to pop out against her caramel colored skin.

Her short black hair cut in a bob-like style only with the left side being shorter than the right. However, it was obvious by how dark it was; she needed a shower. Her chubby cheeks slightly red from the heat of the kitchen, quickly she looked away from the mirror, not wanting to look at her reflection anymore, especially the scars on her neck. Stripping the remaining clothes, removing her glasses and stepping into the shower, allowing the hot water to wash down her body. Not wanting to stay in there long, Serenity quickly washed herself and her hair before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. Grabbing the towel that was hanging on the wall opposite of the toilet.

As soon as she was dried she quickly got dressed, not wanting to linger in the bathroom for long, and placed back on her glasses. Serenity exited the bathroom, still drying out her hair as she walked over to her bed, sitting down on her bed, leaving her towel on her head as she turned to the picture sitting on the stand next to the bed upon her nightstand. The picture was of her graduation, both she and her father were side hugging and showed happiness. However, before she could dwell anymore into the past, she could hear the familiar ringtone of her phone. Getting up, Serenity quickly makes her way back to the kitchen where she left it.

Without really looking at it, she answers with a tired, “Hello?”

“Serenity. It’s good to hear from you. I trust you have been well?” The familiar male accented voice spoke calmly.

Instantly she could feel a headache coming on and she let out a quiet sigh as she responded, “To what do I owe your call, Han?”

“I need your help. Meet me at the Continental in the bar area. We will speak then.” Han stated before hanging up, leaving Serenity agitated.

She quickly removed the towel from her hair, quickly reentering her room throwing the towel upon the bed and moving toward her longer dresser grabbing the brush off the top of it. After brushing her hair back, she pulled out some socks from the middle drawer, putting them on, and then proceeded toward the bathroom to brush her teeth. After leaving her bathroom and her room, Serenity makes her way toward the front door and puts on her boots that were sitting near the door. Upon the coat rack, she grabbed her black leather jacket. Upon the back was the stitching of her family.

It was of a simple skull, with a single raven sitting on the top, and underneath it was a red ribbon, upon which it read Expendables. Smiling slightly, Serenity put it on, making sure her wallet and keys were still in the pockets. When she felt them, she quickly took out the keys and left the house, locking it up. Walking over to the driveway, she made her way toward her Harley-Davidson Street 750 motorcycle. Straddling it, Serenity started it up, sitting down upon the seat she quickly took off allowing the wind to dry her hair as she sped toward the one place she hated going to more than anything. The Continental Hotel.  

[alwayssaywhatever]

I made a playlist for my fanfic

Art by my friend Ferbiie. She’s amazing and did this as a surprise and she’s incredibly talented. So go follow her tumblr, her account on Insta for drawings: littlesweetdrawings and read her fanfics at A03.

So, some of you know that I‘m writing Mystic Messenger Fanfic. I just decided to create a playlist to my wip, Wine and Cigarettes, a JuminxZen Fanfic.

There’s a few songs per chapter, and I decided to post the list here with a few notes about each of them. 

There are spoilers for the chapters on the song’s choices and explanation. I suggest you go read first and then come back here.

1- Underneath The Mistletoe

A Lovely Night - La La Land Soundtrack (The hate-love dynamics in the beginning of their relationship and the RFA being on a lovely Christmas Night).

Gorgeous - Taylor Swift (Jumin feeling conflicted about Zen)

Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood (I think the lyrics say everything, they are lonely, ygot issues.)

Nervous - Shawn Mendes (“You make me nervous and piss me off”)

Underneath the Mistletoe - Sia (I found this one today and found cute and it’s the name of the chapter)

2- Silence and Anxiety

Toxic - Britney Spears (Zen still wondering what happened on their first kiss)

Troublemaker - Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida (Zen knowing that JUmin could be trouble)

His Status is… Preferred - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (I love this show CEG and decided to put some fun songs in the middle of this playlist and the lyrics describe Jumin well from Zen’s pov)

broken - lovelytheband (I add this one on the list after reading this fic “Trust fund party” link: https://bit.ly/3iQtXis)

Into You - Ariana Grande (Zen wondering if he should make a move before the second kiss)

3- French Cuisine

Crush - Tessa Violet (I love her music and this album, the fluff, thinking about each other)

I Like (the idea of) You - Tessa Violet (more fluff, the texting each other)

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys (Even if they already kissed each other twice, there’s the question if the other feels the same way, the same intensity)

I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys (The end of the dinner)

Animal - Chase Holfelder (it’s a cover from Neon Trees and I like the slowed down version, it gets sexier)

4- Birthday Date

I Really Like You - Carly Rae Jepsen (few weeks of dating, the beginning of liking someone)

Absolutely Smitten - dodie (same from the one before)

Dive - Ed Sheeran (the fear of falling fast and too intensely for someone, wanting to make sure the other feels the same)

Talk Too Much - COIN (I love this one and thought it was too cute)

5- Confessions and Fried Chicken

Make Me Like You - Gwen Stefani (the whole panic before saying “I Love You”)

Stupid Love - Lady Gaga (fine, I love you, so what?)

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON (Zen basically saying this song before they dance together)

Baby I’m Yours - Barbara Lewis (the song that appears at the chapter, it speaks for itself)

6- The Storm After the Calm

You Deserve Better - James Arthur (Jumin thinking about leaving Zen, insecurities and fear)

Just Give Me a Reason - P!nk ft. Nate Ruess (Zen asking what’s wrong and why they are breaking up. P!nk’s lines are Jumin and Nate’s lines are Zen)

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi (Zen asking if there was something he could do to stop the break up)

ok on your own - mxmtoon ft. Carly Rae Jepsen (the whole lyrics it’s a mix between their feelings)

7- Broken Promises

We don’t talk Anymore - Charlie Puth ft. Selena Gomez (“Every now and then I think you might want me to come show up at your door, but I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong”)

I Was an Island - John-Allison Weiss (Zen’s pov for the lyrics)

Words Ain’t Enough - Tessa Violet (Jumin made promises with words, but his actions proved them otherwise. They broke up saying that they still loved each other)

Death By A Thousand Cuts - Taylor Swift (Zen again: “'Cause saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts; flashbacks waking me up; I get drunk, but it's not enough”)

EX - Kiana Ledé (More Zen: “Just 'cause it's different and we're not the same; Doesn't mean things have to change; I got no trouble with my pride, got trouble cutting ties”)

8- RFA’s New Members

dream of you - mxmtoon (I love her music and had to have her here too and it’s sad. The lyrics really mean everything)

i miss you - mxmtoon (the lyrics also say everything on this one)

Dress - Taylor Swift (“Our secret moments in your crowded room; They've got no idea about me and you”)

I Won’t Give Up - Jason Mraz (Zen still has hopes, so he joins the RFA)

9- A Night of Regrets

Maniac - Conan Gray (pretty much the fight from the chapter)

Walls Could Talk - Halsey (The fight gain)

Horny Angry Tango - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (the sexual tension of the fight)

We Should Definetly Not Have Sex Right Now - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (the title and the lyrics are pretty straight forward)

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT - Monsta X (this happens after this chapter and before the next chapter. It’s not healthy, but continue to hook up)

Circles - Post Malone (the same bas from the last song, but this time Zen believes he has to put an end to all of this)

10- The Consequences To Their Actions

Never Really Over - Katy Perry (Zen thinking about the bad cycle of their hookups, but also still having feelings for Jumin)

Strangers - Halsey ft. Lauren Jauregui (Halsey lines are Zen and Lauren’s lines are Jumin)

Getaway Car - Taylor Swift (Jumin talking about their relationship was doomed from the beginning)

Mercy - Shawn Mendes (Zen demanding explanations about them, if they have a future)

Say Something - A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera (Zen pleading for answers)

Please Don’t Leave Me - P!nk (Jumin not wanting Zen to leave)

It Was a Shit Show - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast (Zen admitting that their relationship was flawed and it should be over)

11- Comfort in an Unexpected Place

Perfect Illusion - Lady Gaga (Zen being mad about their second time was not feeling and just something casual)

Truth Hurts - Lizzo (Zen complaining to Seven)

Good as Hell - Lizzo (Seven giving advice to Zen)

Kill This Love - BLACKPINK (feeling empowered after deciding not to cry about his ex anymore. “His love is my favorite; But you plus me; Sadly can be dangerous”)

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift (putting the final stone and saying it’s over forever)

12- Kind Eyes and Good Advice

Strawberries and Cigarettes - Troye Sivan (the song that inspired the title of the fic. I could be the two singing, but Jumin is thinking about: “strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you”)

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi (Jumin is all the lyrics, but this one really hurts: “I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain”)

Falling - Harry Styles (Jumin drinking and blaming himself. “And I get the feelin' that you'll never need me again”)

Ex - Stray Kids (the moment I heard this song I thought about Jumin singing this. The MV on youtube has the lyrics in English ;])

13- When a Door Closes…

i hate u, i love u - gnash ft. Olivia O’Brien (this chapter it’s more about the characters and Rika, but it’s also the first time in six months that the two saw each other and I love this song so much)

14- …Someone Breaks Through a Window

Strange Love - Halsey (RFA wondering why the two fight so much and Zen reflects about their past)

When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars (Jumin thinking about the things he could’ve done better)

Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars (Zen thinking about the two of them after all this time)

Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye ft. Kimbra (they being annoyed at the the other, their fights and bickerings on the chat rooms)

I will reblog this post when I add more songs to the playlist. I’ve already updates chapters 15 and 16 but I still didn’t know wich songs to add, so this is it for now.

There is a tag for the fic and I’ll update everything there as well. 

I hope you enjoyed this journey into my mind. This songs helped me write and maybe I’ll have some drawing to complete this whole work.

[millennial-ring]

Can we get more info on 5-7?

             5. Dear God

So this one is ANCIENT (2012!!!) and idk why it’s still in my WIPs folder because I do clean it out/reorganize it every few years or so (which is why that unfinished powershipping christmas fic wasn’t on the list, cause I moved it to a different folder). Sadly the title makes it seem more interesting than it actually is - it’s just a few paragraphs and nothing really happens at all. 

Russet eyes were glazed over as they watched the rain pelt the ground, each drop making tiny indents in the dirt, puffs of the still-dry earth floating up with each splash before settling down again, the process repeating over...and over... Rain drummed against the body of a beaten up jeep, the only prominent sound within miles, save to the sound of the rain falling in the grass, and the dirt, and the leather jacket Bakura wore. 

The man blinked as water ran down his face, following the curve of his brow and rolling over the crease of his eyelid, flowing into his eye. The water pooled between his lids, blurring his vision for a few moments until he blinked again, and the water was squeezed out to mingle with the rest on his face, like a single, solitary tear. He inhaled slowly, then let the breath out in a quick huff, turning away from the long stretch of dirt road in front of him. Behind him, another long chunk of drivable desert. He growled under his breath and began to pace, wet sand squishing under his boots, gravel shifting with each step. 

How could be trapped here, in the middle of fucking nowhere, with a flat fucking tire and no spare? 

It was inspired by this Avenged Sevenfold song and I vaguely remember that it was going to be thiefshipping, about the various trials Bakura goes through to get back to Malik after a fight or something but... 🤷

              6. Domestic Disturbance

This one is also super short, more fleshed out in my mind than on paper, and I started writing it after we had to call the cops on our neighbors because they were having a very loud and long argument (like, over an hour of yelling). Inspiration comes from the dumbest places with me, haha, but this is another one of those “why is this still in my wips” documents because I don’t have any intention of finishing it. After writing what I did I kinda had a “maybe these kinds of situations shouldn’t be your inspiration for fanfics, weirdo” moment and I scrapped it. But anyway! 

The story goes that Bakura was playing some Wii game, lost grip on the controller, and accidentally chucked it and broke a vase because he wasn’t wearing the wrist strap. Malik hears the crash and comes around the corner, lecturing him about “how many times have i told you i s2g bakura why are you like this” even as Bakura’s already beginning to clean up the mess. Bakura gruffly tells him to chill out because nothing important was broken anyway, just “that ugly ass vase” and he holds up a piece for Malik to see. The tension thickens immediately and Malik speaks with measured anger instead of the usual screaming, so Bakura knows He Fucked Up. “That was a gift from my sister.” Bakura panics a bit on the inside, but outside he scoffs and he’s all like “even better, tell her she has awful tastes” because ykno. He’s like that. Doesn’t wanna admit he fucked up, doesn’t wanna take responsibility or acknowledge he hurt Malik’s feelings. At this point I’d stopped writing it, but still have the basic outline. The regular bickering becomes a super intense all out screaming match about basically anything and everything, all the tiny little things they’d been burying for as long as they’d lived together finally coming out, start demanding why they ever thought this would work and they’re just about to get to that great crescendo where they're about to break up (”Well then maybe you shouldn’t have brought me back!” “At this point I’m inclined to agree!” Bakura’s shocked. “Well...then is this going where I think it’s going?” “I think it is.” “Then say it.” “...” “Say you want to break up!” “I...Bakura, I...” when someone knocks on the door. Heyo, it’s two cops, saying someone called in a domestic disturbance. Malik snaps that they’re fine, still pissed from the fight, but obviously like no Malik that’s not gonna help. So one officer brings Bakura out into the hall to question him and the other stays with Malik. Cop asks if they’re together, how long, what the fight was about, etc etc, and then if the fight had been physical at all. Bakura recoils in shock and practically screams “No!” “You never hit Malik?” “I would never!” “And Malik wouldn’t hit you?” There’s a few things there, bc I wasn’t sure how I wanted Bakura to respond; make an “only if he asked wink wonk” joke that the cop rolls his eyes at, or stammer that “i mean he’s smacked my head once or twice but it never hurt and i was being super annoying at the time and it was more like playful slapping” but either way the cop asks for a more direct answer or for Bakura to elaborate and Bakura gets pissed, says Malik would cut off his own hand before he hit Bakura because obviously. Cop seems taken aback but nods, and then lectures Bakura a bit about volume, tells him maybe one of them should pack a bag and stay with friends or family for a few days. Their partner comes out soon after and the two cops leave. Bakura goes back inside, where Malik is standing with his arms crossed, looking shaken with red rimmed eyes. They look at each other, feeling awkward, but then they make tea, sit down, and have a calmer “are we really like that?” conversation. they admit a lot of their fights are pointless and stupid and they’re just fighting to fight because it’s Their Thing and aha, aren’t we so cute and quirky, arguing is our foreplay - which it is, but they admit they’ve taken it too far, gotten too used to snapping at each other when something happens, and some of their issues (like Bakura disrespecting Malik’s siblings, and Malik’s control freak attitude) really need to be sat down and talked out, not screamed out. They apologize, foreheads pressed together, and Malik thumbs a tear from Bakura’s cheek. Bakura strokes his fingers through Malik’s hair. Malik makes a “well you know the best part about fighting, right?” and Bakura laughs, and then it ends.

               7. But he came back

So if y’all didn’t know I recently commissioned a(n amazing) fic from @/sitabethel (not properly tagging cause i don’t wanna bother them). In it, Bakura promises Malik he’ll come back after his final showdown with Atem, but ten years pass and Malik gets engaged to Seto. It’s corporate theifshipping and obviously I recommend reading it - but it’s based on an RP I did with a friend of mine years ago. In the RP, Bakura was pissed Malik hadn’t waited for him and does the whole “why did I even bother coming back I literally only came back to be with you?????” and Malik being like “Sorry? But you took a long fucking time and I had to do something to stop the loneliness.” We never finished it, but when we dropped it Bakura was starting to heal and move on and we had plans to end it powershipping and tendershipping - and Bakura catching the bouquet at the wedding and Ryou immediately being like >:) but anyway. The concept stuck with me and I really liked the idea of Bakura coming back to that situation and more so rolling with it - maybe a touch bitter at first, but hey, he’s nothing if not adaptable, and he absolutely invites himself into the relationship in the clunkiest way possible. 

“But he came back” was the start of my own attempt to write something with that kind of plot. When I write a fic, I start with a vague collection of ideas or scenes I want to write, and then when I have enough to work with, I begin organizing them into an outline. This doc is just a very small collection of ideas and dialogue, mixing some things taken from the RP and my own ideas. It’s mostly things like how Malik and Kaiba get to the marriage point, starting with an impromptu kinda tipsy make out session hidden away in the kitchen during a party Yugi’s throwing, and how they navigate each other’s trauma and fumble their way into a genuine romance despite everything. I’ve never managed to sit down and work it out into an outline of any kind, and the way I wanted to explore Malik and Bakura’s relationship before the show down, Malik and Kaiba’s relationship building afterwards, and then the relationship building with all three of them meant 30 chapters, at least (the original rp is over 2,500 pages and again, we had only just started with Bakura wanting to ask Ryou out and going to Malik for advice adjklj, when we dropped it) and well. yall know i’m bad at writing multi fic chapters 

[ragewerthers]

The Greatest Gift

Summary:  Bokuto and Akaashi agree to make Christmas wish lists. The problem is that Bokuto thinks they are going to be mailing them to Santa. The last thing he wants is for Akaashi to see what he's written... but his sweet, evil Keiji has ways of getting what he wants!

A/n: This is my Squealing Santa fic for @ticklygiggles​!

Since she is kind enough to host the event I wanted to write her a fic in return! 

This is based off a super cute prompt she sent where person a writes a cute letter to santa and when person b wants to switch they absolutely refuse to do so! What ensues is tickles and much cuteness!

You can also read on AO3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21765010

I hope you enjoy! :D

Word Count: 3153

-------------------------------

Bokuto sat on the sofa, chewing on the end of his pen as he looked over his letter to Santa.  Granted, this wasn’t something most college students did, but it had been at the request of Akaashi.  Earlier in the day the former setter had mentioned that perhaps they should do something a little different for Christmas.

“Why don’t we write letters to Santa like we used to?  It might be kind of fun?”

Bokuto smiled to himself as he thought about it.  It was absolutely endearing to think that Keiji would want to do something like that.  He was always the more serious out of the two of them and so to hear him saying they should do this, obviously he was going to jump at the chance.  Heck, he’d even gone all out!  After agreeing to it he’d traveled to the campus bookstore and found some construction paper and a few other things in the art supply section.  Currently he had done his own little arts and crafts project.  If they were going to try recreating their primary school days then he was going to do it in style!

He’d taken a regular piece of red construction paper and cut it down to fit on a larger green piece giving it an awesome green trim.  Next he’d attempted to draw snowmen and snowflakes over it with some silver and gold markers, but he had never really been the artistic type.  The snowmen looked like blobs and the snowflakes looked more like stars with little smiley faces, but that was okay.  It wasn’t like anyone was ever going to see it.  This was just a fun, silly, sweet project and it really did warm his heart to do this.  

Currently he was attempting to finish up his Christmas list.  What should he ask Santa for?  He couldn’t remember a time in his life where he had been happier or when he’d felt more content.  As he sat there mulling this all over he felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips.  It finally struck him what he wanted to ask from Santa this year.  It only took another few minutes until he was finishing up his list.

Oh yes.  This was perfect.

He heard footsteps coming down the hallway toward their small living room and glanced up to see Akaashi making his way to the sofa.

“Hey, hey, hey, Akaashi!  I finished my letter!” he said gleefully, waving his piece of paper in the air and seeing that Keiji had his as well.  “So now are we going to mail them to the North Pole like we used to?  How many stamps do you think we’ll need?  Do you think he’ll accept stickers?  I... may have forgotten about stamps,” he said with a little pout as he started to fold up his Christmas list.

“What?” Keiji asked with a little chuckle, a soft smile on his lips as Bokuto burrowed underneath his arts and crafts supplies looking for the cute stickers he’d found up at the front counter of the bookstore.  There were penguins, polar bears, reindeer… how could Santa not accept a kick ass Christmas list mailed to him with a reindeer sticker?!

“Well I mean… we have to mail them so that our wishes get to Santa and he can make our lists come true, right?  So what do you think?  Reindeer sticker or penguin sticker?” he asked, holding up the little packet containing the embellishments and smiling brightly.

“Bo?  You… You know we aren’t going to be sending these right?” Akaashi said with a light smile as he stood next to his boyfriend, resting his hand on the arm of the sofa as Bokuto looked up at him owlishly

“What?” Bokuto asked, hoping against hope that Akaashi wasn’t suggesting what he thought he was suggesting.

“Well… I thought it would be sweet to write these and then exchange them.  Santa can only do so much, right?” Akaashi asked, setting his own list down in front of Bokuto on their old coffee table before taking a seat on the arm of the sofa.  “Can’t you just consider me Santa’s little helper?”

Two things occurred to Bokuto at this moment.

One…

There was now a slight chance that Akaashi thought that he still believed in Santa and AHHHH!  That was so embarrassing!!!

Two…

There was now a slight chance that Akaashi was going to actually read his letter.  Literally take the letter from his grubby little hands and read the words he’d written that were only supposed to be seen by the big man at the North Pole or a poor homeowner who accidentally received Christmas letters!

Ab-so-lut-ley not!!!

“What?!  I mean… wouldn’t it be even cuter and more endearing for us to just… mail these away so that no one except Santa Claus sees them?  Only him?  Only him, Akaashi,” Bokuto said with wide eyes as Akaashi’s soft expression turned to one of confusion.

“Why can’t I see your list, Bo?” he asked curiously.  “Did you ask for something silly?  Did you ask for something sexy?”  A wide and teasing smile began to appear over Akaashi’s features as a blush began to spread over Bokuto’s.  Akaashi began leaning over, trying to catch sight of his partners letter.

The former Fukurodani captain shook his head wildly, clutching the Christmas wish list to his chest in a sort of death grip.

“N-No!  I… it’s not important, but it’s not supposed to be seen by mortal eyes!  Only by those of jolly old St. Nick!  So you can’t see it, Akaashi!  I’m sorry.  Those are the Christmas rules.  I don’t write’em.  I just follow’em,” he said, closing his eyes with a nod, missing the smitten look Akaashi sent his silly boyfriend.

“You know…,” the dark-haired man said with a little smile, standing up and moving to stand behind the sofa as his hands settled on the back of the cushions.  “... you not wanting me to see only makes me want to see it more, Kou.”

Bokuto could feel his heart beginning to beat wildly in his chest, his shoulders scrunching up as Akaashi stood behind him like that.  As he felt a pair of hands soothing over his shoulders he almost jumped out of his skin, but took a deep breath to calm his nerves.  “B-But… but the Christmas rules!” he weakly argued, feeling the way Akaashi’s hands were sweeping down his back as he attempted to curl forward to protect his precious letter.

“Never said I wasn’t a rule breaker,” Akaashi whispered against his ear before ten fingers dug into his ribs.

Bokuto positively shrieked, his arms snapping down against his sides even as he continued to clutch his letter to his chest.

“N-NO!  Ke-Keijihihihihihi!” he squeaked, leaning back against the sofa and trying to pin the man’s arms, sadly this only brought him closer to his evil boyfriends mouth.  As the fingers continued to skitter along his over sensitive ribs, vibrating quickly and drawing out ridiculous giggles, he soon felt Akaashi’s lips blowing little raspberries against the side of his neck.

Bokuto’s shoulders tried to scrunch up all the more and he shook his head, the giggles only intensifying at the added tickles.

“St-stahahahap!  No… no raspberries!  No rahahahaspberr-ihihihiahahas!” he cackled, stomping his socked feet on the floor as if that would help dull the ticklish shivers racing up his spine from the secondary attack.

“What’s the matter, Bo?” Akaashi cooed, his fingers wiggling lower and lower to tease and tweak the mans toned sides, eliciting a startled yelp as the poor former captain attempted to lean forward again to curl up.  “You wouldn’t happen to be ticklish would you?  Oh that’s too bad!  What a weakness to have!”

Akaashi was so evil!  The man didn’t have nearly as many sensitive spots as Bokuto did and so the silver-haired man was always at a disadvantage.  As Bokuto felt the fingers nibbling against the sides of his tummy he realized just how big of a disadvantage it was.

“AH!  N-NOT THEHEHERE!” he cried out in hysterical laughter, falling to the side to try and escape as he pulled his legs up, looking like a buff hedgehog.

“Oh?  Was that a bad spot, Bo?” Akaashi purred, one hand now tickling along the length of Bokuto’s side, kneading into his hip as his other hand reached town to scribble against the bottoms of his feet now that they were in range.

“Kei-Keijihihi!  Keiji nohohoahahahaha!” Bokuto cried out as he felt the teasing fingers tickle along his arches.  His legs straightened out to try and get his feet away, but sadly, his clever, horrible boyfriend seemed to be planning this.

Without his legs pulled up to protect his poor belly, Akaashi went in for the kill.  Two hands instantly snuck under his sweater and ten teasing fingers began to wriggle, scribble and tease all along his sensitive middle.

Bokuto absolutely lost it.

“STAHAHAHAP!  AHAHGOAHAHAHAD!” he howled, trying to turn over onto his stomach to stop the attack on his worst spot, but Akaashi was having none of it.  In a flash, Bokuto soon felt his boyfriend settling over his hips to pin him on his back, having jumped over the back of the sofa to make sure he couldn’t escape.

Bokuto still had one hand clutching his letter close to his chest as the other tried to fend off the hands hovering over his poor stomach, his sweater having ridden up in his struggles and exposing it to his boyfriend.

“Keiji!  Keiji plehehease… please no tihihi… no tihihickling there!” he giggled nervously, already feeling the phantom tickles grazing over his tum.

Akaashi feinted his hands down as if to attack, making Bokuto buck and snort without even being touched yet.  “Oh, Kou… I promise I won’t… if you let me have that letter?” he teased sweetly, wiggling his fingers and watching as Bokuto’s face turned crimson even as the giggling intensified from the teasing.

“I-I can’t… I cahan’t, AkaashiHIHIHIAHAHAHA!”  Before he could react, Akaashi had caught his free hand and pinned it to the sofa beside his head, his boyfriends free hand instantly going in for the attack.

Akaashi let his fingertips swirl and trace over Bokuto’s stomach, the muscles twitching and jumping under the light contact.

Bokuto was giggling like a maniac, trying desperately to free his one hand as he refused to let go of his letter for a second!  When he felt the fingers start to tickle faster, spidering all over his stomach and tickling from one side to the other, he couldn’t keep his legs from kicking out behind the man.

“WHY-HEHEHEHEHE?!” he begged, shaking his head as Akaashi snuck his tickling hand up to lightly tickle against Bokuto’s exposed underarm, making him arch up and laugh wildly.

“Because someone is trying to get on the naughty list by not letting me see his list.  So… I have to tickle, tickle, tickle him to show him the error of his ways,” Akaashi crooned, making Bokuto whimper as he heard that horrible, teasy, tickle talk.

He was a dead man.

“I’m sahahah-rry!  I’m… god n-no mo-ahahahahare!” he squealed through high pitched giggles as Akaashi continued the light tickling against his armpit, driving him absolutely crazy at the sensation it was causing.  It tickled so bad, sending little electric zips of ticklishness all through his body, but he knew the man was only biding his time.  “Stahahahap it!  Mehehehercy?!  Chahahanage spots!  Ch-Change spo-ahahahahahats!”  He was starting to babble now, just needing a break from this slow, gentle tickling!

“Oh?  You want me to go to a different spot?” Akaashi chuckled, lifting his hand from Bokuto’s armpit and hovering it in the air.  Bokuto’s eyes blinked up at his boyfriend, clearing away the tears of mirth as he saw the evil hand turning into a claw.  A claw that he knew from experience was devastating when used against his worst spot.

“No…,” he gasped, already trying to suck in his stomach as Akaashi lowered his hand closer and closer to his favorite target.

“You know how to make me stop, Kou…. my coochie-coochie Kou,” he purred, letting his fingertips rest against the warm skin.  Bokuto’s belly trembled slightly from more nervous giggles bubbling up and the anticipation of what was to come.

“K-Keiji… Keiji ple… oh pleasepleaseple-AHAHAHAHAHA!”

His time for bartering had run out.

Akaashi was not going to show him any mercy for his apparent naughtiness.

Oh no.

Bokuto was going to have to pay for his insolence with laughter.

Much, much laughter.

Akaashi’s clawed hand finally unleashed its devastating attack, vibrating rapidly against poor Bokuto’s tum and sending the silver-haired man into hysterics he didn’t even know was possible.

Bokuto’s laughter was loud and unrestrained, his head tossing back and forth as his feet kicked against the sofa sending cushions flying as Akaashi tried to remain seated on his hips.

“N-NO MOR-AHAHAHA!  I GIHIHIVE!  I GIHIHIHIHVE!!!!” he cried out, the hand that had been clutching the letter, letting go of the precious and secret list to reach down and grab onto Akaashi’s wrist to stop him.

Akaashi was too quick for him, however.  As soon as he saw that the list was free he moved his attacking hand to Bokuto’s chest to snatch up the prize.

“Now… lets see what you were so determined not to show me,” Akaashi teased as Bokuto felt his entire body flush up with embarrassment even as he continued trying to catch his breath from the intense tickle attack.  His hands instantly came up to cover his face as he panted, wondering if the sofa would be kind enough to open up and swallow him whole?

What was Akaashi going to think of him?!

Bokuto missed the way his partner smiled down at him and it wasn’t long before the former setter began to read the note out loud.

‘Dear Santa Claus!

It’s me… Bokuto Koutarou.  

I’m the kid who asked for a puppy eight years in a row when I was little?  I’m sure you remember because you have a great memory like that!  While I am still saddened that no puppy found its way to my home I totally get it.  Some other kid probably needed the puppy more and I’m okay with that!  The puppy was a winner either way and you probably made that other kids day!  

Besides, you always got me something awesome anyway.  Remember when you got me that remote controlled race car?!  Oh man that was so cool!!!  

I apologize for driving it into the neighbors koi pond...

It was a beautiful service they held for those poor fish….’

“Oh my god, Bo!  You didn’t?” Akaashi laughed, still seated on his poor boyfriends hips.  Bokuto only shook his head, his hands still covering his face even as his ears burned scarlet, showing his embarrassment outright.

Akaashi continued to read.

‘Thank you for not giving me coal that year for doing that!  I knew we were bro’s!!!

Anyway, I promise that I’m not going to ask for a puppy this year.  Or a race car.

This year… all I want is….’

Akaashi’s eyes widened and he felt his own cheeks turning pink , glancing from the decorated list to Bokuto.  The man was so tense underneath of him, as if waiting for some sort of teasing comment or rebuttal of some kind.

Akaashi’s eyes watered slightly and he ran a hand over his face to keep himself in check as he continued to read.  His voice just a little thicker.

‘... is to have a wonderful Christmas with Akaashi.

He is better than any puppy and any race car ever.  He is sweet and nice.  He makes me happier than I’ve ever been and helps me when I’m feeling low.  He always knows how to pick me up during those moments and I’ll always be grateful for that.  He is just… the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t think there’s anything I could ever ask for that would be better than spending the rest of my life with him.

Actually, if it’s okay, can I ask for one more thing?

Whatever magic or time you were planning to spend on me, just give it to Akaashi, okay?  He deserves it.

He deserves everything.

Thank you, Santa.

Love,

Bokuto Koutarou’

Bokuto lowered his hands as he heard Akaashi finishing his note, his eyes refusing to meet his boyfriends as his face continued to feel like it was on fire from embarrassment.

“I… I know I didn’t do it right and… and you’re probably gonna teas-...,” but his words were stolen away as he felt warm lips pressing against his own and strong hands gently cradling his cheeks.  The kiss was loving and wanting, making blood rush to his ears once more for a completely different reason.  The hands on his face were the only thing keeping him grounded, but even in that small touch he felt safe and wanted.

The kiss only lasted a few more moments before Akaashi was pressing his forehead against Bokuto’s, the captain glancing up to see warm blue eyes staring back at his own and a loving, if slightly watery, smile over his boyfriends lips.

“Oh!  Akaashi!  Why are you crying?  Don’t cry, Keiji,” Bokuto murmured softly, worry in his heart once more as he brought his own hands up to gently soothe away a few tears that had made their way down the setters cheeks.

“Sorry, Kou.  I promise they’re good tears… because I have the most incredible boyfriend in the world,” he murmured, giving a small chuckle as he closed his eyes and nuzzled into Bokuto’s palm.  “What did I do to deserve you?”

Bokuto couldn’t help smiling at that, his worry and embarrassment from before being replaced with nothing but warmth and love for his sweet Akaashi.

“So… I didn’t mess up our letters, right?” he asked softly, giggling as Akaashi gave his side a soft little tickle before soothing over it.

“No.  Not at all.  You’ve made my Christmas a million times better with your letter, Kou.  I love you,” Akaashi murmured softly, ducking down to press another kiss to Bokuto’s lips.

Carefully, Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi’s waist, the setter gently lowering himself down to rest against his larger boyfriend.  Bokuto found himself smiling more and more as they kissed, nudging their noses together gently and opening his eyes to look at his amazing boyfriend.

“I love you too, Akaashi.  And… I meant what I wrote.  You are definitely better than a puppy,” he murmured, getting a chuckle from his boyfriend.

“Always happy to hear that,” he murmured, pecking his lips once more.  “Merry Christmas, Bo.”

Bokuto felt his smile absolutely beaming as he was kissed once more, his arms wrapped comfortably around his greatest gift.

Oh yes.  Definitely better than a puppy.

“Merry Christmas, Akaashi.”

[zecretsanta]

Fic: What Do Stars Do Best?

To: @kiichu From: @pomegranate-belle

You gave me a lot of leeway on this one and it’s definitely out there, but I couldn’t think of an AU that sounded more fun for these two than Stardust; hope it’s fluffy enough for you! Merry Christmas!

AO3 link

Once upon a time not so very long ago in the kingdom of Stormhold, there lived an automaton – a being created from a marriage between magic and machinery. Her name was Luna, and she loved to watch the sky. On the whole, she spent her existence quietly – assisting the alchemist who had created her in his research, tending to the garden set out back of his manor, and reading novels from the library’s collection out in the sunroom, curled up in an armchair like a cat. There were slight variations, but every day followed nearly the same pattern. A quiet, undisturbed life without change or momentum.

Until the night the star fell from the sky.

Shooting stars were rare in Stormhold, but they invariably set off the worst sort of trouble because every witch in the kingdom scrambled to get hands on them. On their hearts, which were filled with enough magic to extend one’s life hundreds and hundreds of years when eaten. The practice was barbaric, but effective.

Though she’d often daydreamed about rescuing a star after reading tales of heroics, Luna thought little of the star when she caught sight of it except to wonder sadly at its fate. She herself was a potential target for witches, who stripped the world of magic like vultures for their own use, and the alchemist had never let her leave the manor grounds unaccompanied. More than that, the alchemist had no interest in stars. All his focus was trained inwards, on the makeup of the human soul. On recreating his lost love.

She herself had been an attempt at that goal, though the alchemist had never told her so specifically. But Luna’s biggest flaw was her curiosity, and she’d braved the locked, dusty rooms in the east wing of the manor once – only to find a faded painting of her own likeness. The connection wasn’t difficult to make.

Thinking of these things, she followed the falling star – a streak of silver fire flashing across the night – with her eyes until it disappeared beyond her sight line. Even after it was gone, Luna couldn’t seem to tear her eyes from the night sky, the blue-black fabric of it, the other stars beginning to come out and shine.

Though he was hard at work and clearly absorbed, the alchemist had noticed her absence by the time she finally drifted back to his lab.

“Where were you, Luna?” he asked curiously, eye to a microscope. “I wanted your help with this five minutes ago.”

“I-I’m sorry. I was out in the garden. A-a star fell and I got distracted,” she explained, fidgeting with the fabric of her ankle-length skirt.

Luna didn’t expect more than a grunt of acknowledgement at the statement, but the alchemist whipped his head towards her immediately.

“A star?” he demanded. “It fell, just now? Did you see where? Was it nearby?”

Luna shook her head, quietly baffled.

“N-no, it, um, it looked like it landed very far away. You shouldn’t have to worry about witches disrupting your research—”

“Forget witches!” came the frantic response, and the alchemist stood so quickly his chair toppled to the floor. “I need that star, Luna. For her sake.”

There was only ever one ‘her’ on the alchemist’s mind. He didn’t need to specify.

“Did you, um, reach a breakthrough?” she asked him, concerned that he hadn’t mentioned it to her if he had.

“It’s the only thing left,” he explained, dragging his fingers through his gray hair in an agitated manner. “The only thing I haven’t tried. The heart of a star has enough power to turn back time and make an old person young again. It has to have enough power to bring her back to us.”

Luna then experienced a sensation she might have called ‘stomach-twisting’ if she’d had a stomach to feel it in. The alchemist was already rushing around the lab, digging haphazardly through drawers until he found what he was searching for.

“But… To get the heart of a star, you’d need to, to k-kill it,” Luna pointed out weakly. “Like the witches do.”

It had been the alchemist who taught her about ethics, morality, how sacred life was. There was a pause, and the alchemist’s shoulders drooped.

“I know,” he said quietly. “But… It’s not like the witches. They’re doing it for themselves, because they want to live longer. I’m doing it to save a life.”

“I… I just…”

But the alchemist finally closed his hand around what he’d been searching for and dropped it into Luna’s palm before she could come up with a more coherent argument. The item was unmistakably a Babylon candle – though at its size, ‘candle’ was perhaps generous. It was more of a waxy green-black nub.

“There’s enough left for one journey,” the alchemist said solemnly. “Enough to get you to the star, but not back to the manor. Find it, take it with you, and bring it home.” He took a shaky breath, and then said three binding words he’d never used in her whole existence: “That’s an order.”

There was no room for argument there, no leeway or wiggle room. And so, Luna lit the candle. Then she closed her eyes and thought hard about the star, about the way it flashed across the night sky, falling to earth wreathed in flame.

When she opened them again, she stood in the middle of an enormous, glassy crater, hand empty. She was much closer to the mountains, she noted, glancing up at the peaks towering over her.

And then she saw the star.

He stood before her in a glowing silver dress, belted at the waist with an embroidered sash that glittered as though studded with diamonds. Tousled golden hair spilled over his shoulders, and his eyes were sharp and luminous like chunks of tourmaline. Everything about him was vivid and fantastical.

But he didn’t shine.

Which made sense, Luna supposed – it would be difficult to be content and happy when you’ve just fallen from the sky into so much danger. Still, he appeared as elegant and regal as she’d always imagined a star would be.

Until he opened his mouth.

“Who the hell are you?”

Startled as she was by his crassness, it took a few moments to answer.

“I-I’m Luna,” she explained. “I, um, I was s-sent here to get you. What’s your name?”

He scoffed, turning his face to the side.

“Dio.”

It was a very nice name, Luna thought, and then wondered if it was a characteristic name for a star or not. But she shook off the thought promptly – she’d been given an order and she had to complete it. Besides, she attempted to reason to keep the twisting feeling out of her belly, it was something the alchemist wanted. Her only family in the world. He had to know better than her, didn’t he?

“W-well, we should get going, Dio,” Luna began, a bit awkwardly, gesturing behind herself and back in the direction of the manor.

“Going?”

Dio crossed his arms over his chest and planted his feet more firmly.

“Yes, I—”

“There’s no way you could make me go anywhere with you,” he interrupted snidely.

Luna blinked.

“I’m much stronger than I look,” she told him, but he only rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, right.”

Minutes later, they were marching steadily away from the crater, Luna’s left hand locked around Dio’s right wrist. The star tried vainly to tug his arm from her grip, but didn’t go so far as to hit or attack her. Not that it would have really mattered if he had; Luna was quite sturdy. Eventually, though, Dio gave up his struggling and grumbled instead.

“Where are you taking me anyway?” he demanded at last.

“Back to my home,” explained Luna, and didn’t slow her pace. “To the, the alchemist who created me. He sent me to bring you back. Based on, um, the position of the, of the stars—” And oh, was that an awkward thing to say with him right next to her!— “It’s about a, um… A nine days’ journey, I think.”

Dio stopped walking, and stumbled forward a step or two in Luna’s uncompromising grasp before she realized he’d halted.

“You’re an automaton?”

She glanced back at him, and felt her face blanch hot and pale with the white artificial blood which ran through her veins. No one had ever said it so plainly before — not the alchemist and certainly not any of his rare guests.

“I-I, um… Yes,” Luna admitted, straightening up as best she could, though it still left her only about eye-level with the star’s chin. “Yes, I am.”

“Huh.” There was no response about the revelation other than that, except the interested look in Dio’s eyes. “So… You’re taking me to an alchemist, not a witch.”

“Y-yes, that’s right.”

“But he’s probably gonna kill me for my heart too.”

Luna flinched. A wry smirk overtook Dio’s face, and he shook his head.

“Whatever. Lead on, I guess.”

It was a worryingly nonchalant attitude. Luna wasn’t sure if he didn’t believe her or if he was just confident he could find a chance to escape from her. And even with that slight, sarcastic bit of amusement on his face, he didn’t shine at all.

The sun was just creeping into the sky when Dio’s stomach rumbled. By that point, he had agreed to walk along with Luna and didn’t have to be dragged by the hand. His sense of direction was ‘fucked up completely’ by the change in perspective, he’d explained, and he’d hardly know where he was going anyway, she’d clearly have the advantage. Which was true, so Luna agreed, even if she thought he probably had an ulterior motive for it.

Of course, it also meant she wasn’t right next to him when he picked a round, purple fruit with blue spots from a nearby tree. She only caught sight of it when he lifted it to his mouth for a bite, and she ended up shouting.

“N-no, not those ones!”

He froze, the spotted fruit still in his hand.

“… Why?”

“S-sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just… The ones with blue spots are poisonous,” Luna explained, moving closer to take it from his grasp and drop it onto the ground. “Y-you need to look for fruits with red spots instead.”

She pointed to another tree, which had the safe fruit, and helped him gather a few to eat as they walked. Then, worried Dio would get himself almost poisoned again if she didn’t stick close, Luna laced their fingers together.

They continued on for a few more hours before Dio’s pace slowed considerably.

“Aren’t we going to rest and sleep?” he complained.

Luna’s brow furrowed.

“But… I don’t require sleep,” she said.

“Yeah, well I do!” snapped Dio, who then had to stifle a yawn with his free hand.

Luna blinked. She hadn’t considered that, but… Stars did rest during the day, didn’t they? She nodded.

“Th-then, I can carry you while you sleep—”

“No fucking way!”

“I-I’m sorry…” she apologized, not sure why he was so against the idea. “I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just the, um, the most efficient way…”

“Who cares about that? It’s embarrassing is what it is, it’d look ridiculous. I’ll just sleep here.”

Luna followed Dio’s gesture to a slightly more open space between the trees, not quite large enough to be called a clearing. There weren’t any rocks in it or anything but…

“I-it doesn’t look very comfortable,” Luna pointed out.

“I don’t give a shit, I’m not moving another step.”

The tone was belligerent and full of energy, but Dio really did look quite tired. So she glanced around, trying to find the most comfortable-looking spot, and settled down with her legs outstretched.

“Y-you, um, you can rest your head in my lap. I’ll watch over you,” she promised, patting her skirt-clad thigh.

He stared at her for a few seconds, saying nothing, and his ears turned a little pink.

“Of course you will,” he muttered finally. “What’d you do if I died or something, your little mission would fucking implode.”

Then Dio settled down on his side in the grass and laid his head in Luna’s lap, posture stiff. He was feeling awkward, she deduced. Laying one’s head in another’s lap was considered rather intimate, she supposed. But it was still clearly the best option, with the ground so rough and hard — he’d never get any sleep if he tried to just lie with his head on the forest floor. Slowly but surely as Dio began to fall asleep, the tension eased out of his frame. After almost thirty minutes, he was completely unconscious.

Asleep, he finally looked peaceful for the very first time. He still didn’t shine — though Luna didn’t know if stars could shine in their sleep. Perhaps they didn’t, if they slept during the day, because she’d never seen one shining then. Luna let the idea idle around in her mind a little longer, then went back to studying her… Captive?

Even without shining, he was beautiful. Luna wasn’t often overcome with feeling when she wasn’t reading a novel, but the urge to see if Dio’s hair was as soft as it looked was startlingly strong. She resisted quietly for three minutes, four. And then she thought, just one touch would sate her curiosity, wouldn’t it? So she traced a single index finger across the strands. They were as soft as they looked. Perhaps softer. So Luna chanced combing a whole hand through. A quiet sigh flitted past Dio’s lips, so she did it again. Before she’d quite realized it, Luna was wholesale playing with the sleeping star’s hair.

She closed her eyes and inhaled. The morning air was fresh and warm and clean, with a hint of pine and grass. But below it, she could smell Dio too — a bright tang of magic, something metallic, and a pleasant whiff of heat like the scent the air took on in a room with a stove just beginning to warm. Altogether, the medley of fragrances was pleasant, and Luna let her mind ramble idly as she wove plaits into Dio’s cornsilk hair and listened to his even breathing.

For three days, they continued in relatively the same pattern, walking at night and resting during the day. More than once, Luna had to steer Dio away from inedible plants, and he would defensively remind her that it was hard to see little details like that from all the way up in the sky, and anyway it was dark. Still, his attitude subtly improved as the days passed, and he seemed more open and curious about the world.

Even then, he didn’t shine.

Luna was reminded of something she’d read about stars – that they were incapable of shining when they had a broken heart. Was Dio’s heart broken, she wondered. Perhaps by the separation from his family in the sky, the other stars? Or was it something else entirely? She’d at least figured him out enough by that point to know not to ask, but she did wonder.

With nearly a third of their journey under their belts without issue, Luna made the mistake of thinking it might be smooth sailing – that they’d make it to the manor without encountering a witch. She was wrong, of course.

They were cornered on the morning after the fourth night, right when Dio was looking around again for a good place to sleep. Luna had been too busy trying to help, and hadn’t been paying enough attention to their surroundings. The witch nearly snuck up on them, except that she stepped on a dry twig.

Luna took up a place in front of Dio immediately, to protect him. Not a forest witch, she surmised, by appearance; too damp and gray and ragged. A swamp witch, maybe. There were distinctions, but the part of her machinery that held such classifications had been muddled by fear and couldn’t make the proper connections.

“Come now, little girl,” the witch said, a rude smile on her face and an obsidian knife in her hand. “Give me the star.”

Luna couldn’t speak. Her voice box was malfunctioning. There was nothing wrong with it, but it was malfunctioning anyway. She shook her head frantically and spread her arms, though realistically it would do little to cover Dio better. The witch laughed.

But then… A rush of warmth, energy, spread through her body, and a translucent shield appeared suddenly between them and the witch. Luna didn’t know how long it would hold, but it would at least be long enough for one of them to get away.

“R-run!” Luna managed to force past her lips.

She didn’t dare look behind her, but she heard the sound of feet slapping against the ground.

“You little…!” the witch snarled, flinging out her empty hand and summoning a burst of fire that bounced off the shield. “You cost me my star!”

It took only a few more blows to shatter the shield completely.

Luna was half made of magic, which explained the spell she’d performed not a minute earlier. It had always been a loose possibility in the back of Luna’s mind, but not one pressing enough to explore. She’d never harnessed it, purposely or otherwise, but she tried in that moment, wishing hard for another shield to protect herself. Despite her determination, there was no warm rush of energy in response. When the witch took another menacing step forward, Luna stumbled backwards and tripped over a root, landing hard on her backside – the witch, eyes wild and glowing green with rage, loomed above her, knife held high.

Then there was a loud crack and the witch collapsed to the ground. Dio stood over her with a massive branch in his hands.

“D-Dio…”

“You ok?” he asked, helping Luna to her feet.

“Y-yes, I’m fine, I… Why did you…”

Even she wasn’t sure what she wanted to ask, but Dio gave her an answer anyway.

“Think I was gonna let myself be kidnapped by that?” he asked, nudging the witch with his boot. “No fucking way. She’d eat my heart! You don’t even have to eat, and anyway you don’t have the temperament for it. Seriously, even if you tried you’d wimp out immediately and start fucking apologizing.”

“Y-you… You could have just run off,” Luna pointed out quietly. “And not come back.”

Dio froze. His fingers tightened minutely around the branch still held in his hands like a club.

“I… I don’t know where the hell I am,” he insisted at last, brusquely. “What kinda idiot goes running off into the fucking wilderness? If I’m going to ditch you it’s at least gonna be in a village.”

“I tell you I’m gonna run off in a village and you immediately take us to a village,” Dio said the next evening, crossing his arms over his chest. “You trying to get rid of me or something?”

“No, just… We… We need to get you some less conspicuous clothes,” Luna said firmly. “That way, um, it won’t be so obvious to witches that you’re a star.”

“And what are you gonna buy them with?” asked Dio, clearly skeptical. “I might not know a lot about life down here but I know things cost money.”

Luna smiled.

“Cost, yes… But, um… Money, not always,” she told him.

She’d gone down to the market closest to the alchemist’s manor once or twice in her life, and its vendors often asked for strange things in exchange for their wares. Such was the case in any village in Stormhold that made use of magic. Of course she’d have to be careful of traveling witches, but… It would be best in the long run to get Dio something that didn’t glitter so much — they still had a long ways to go to get back to the manor, and being inconspicuous was key. Only stars wore silver dresses.

Thankfully, though she’d never been to the village of Serezo, Luna knew that one of the alchemist’s frequent visitors lived there. Carlos was a water mage who was often sent to quell raging fires when they engulfed the nearby forests and threatened the village’s crops. He also, she remembered from their rare conversations, ran the local bakery with his sister. So Luna led the way along the outskirts of the village, keeping out of sight and following the scent of baking bread.

When she knocked on the back door, it was Carlos who answered. He seemed startled to see her, almost more than to see her in the company of a star. After taking in their slightly ragged appearances, he opened the door wider.

“Why don’t you both come in?”

Dio glanced at Luna, suspicious, but she put on her most encouraging smile and nodded.

“Dio, this, um, this is Carlos, he’s… A friend.”

Gratifyingly, Dio took her at her word, and followed her inside the bakery.

“Maria, can you watch the loaves?” Carlos called into the next room. “I need a few minutes!”

There was an affirmative reply, and so Carlos ushered them out of the bakery proper and into a cozy living area attached to the shop. He proceeded to listen calmly and without judgment to their tale so far, although his expression did pinch a little when Luna explained the alchemist’s orders.

“I, um, I thought you could maybe take something of mine and barter for clothes,” she finished awkwardly. “So Dio won’t be as obvious to witches.”

Carlos set a hand on her shoulder.

“There’s no need for that. He can borrow something of mine.”

“O-oh, I couldn’t ask you to—”

“Nonsense,” Carlos said. “We’re about the same build and height, and it’s to keep you both safe. Is that alright with you, Dio?”

The star, not prepared to be addressed after standing quietly behind Luna for so long, started.

“Yeah, that’s fine, I guess,” he said, shrugging and fidgeting with the sash around his waist. “Doesn’t make any difference to me.”

“I’ll be right back, then,” Carlos said, smiling.

He returned promptly with a loose, fern green shirt, a pair of brown trousers, a small strip of leather, and a rucksack.

“What’s this for?” Dio asked, picking the leather up off the pile.

“Thought you might want to tie your hair back,” explained Carlos. “You can put your star clothing in the rucksack, and I’ll give you a loaf of bread before you head on your way. Wouldn’t want you to leave hungry – this is a bakery, after all!”

Dio just stared, uncomprehending, as though the idea of Carlos’s kindness was completely beyond the realm of possibility. He was being very generous, Luna knew, but she wondered if Dio’s life had really been so empty of generosity that he had no frame of reference for it.

“Th-thank you, Carlos,” she said in his stead. “We really appreciate it. I’ll, um, come with you so Dio can get changed.”

She followed Carlos back to the bakery, and was introduced to Maria, his sister. Then, after several minutes, Dio emerged dressed in his new clothing. The colors suited him, Luna thought – brought out the green in his eyes. He’d also drawn his golden hair over one shoulder and tied the leather strip around it to gather it together loosely. His star clothes glimmered in his arms, and the sight of him looking so different was novel enough that Luna could only drink him in for several long moments.

“What’s that look for?” Dio asked at last, ears pink.

“B-because you look very pretty,” she explained simply.

Dio’s face bloomed from pink to red in an instant, and he covered it with a hand.

“Who the fuck just says shit like that outta nowhere,” he muttered. “Jeez.”

The words and the tone sounded angry, but Luna was fairly certain they didn’t actually mean that Dio was angry. His feelings had seemed irrational and incomprehensible at first, especially compared to the alchemist’s more even, easily-followable keel. But after observing Dio for several days, Luna could see that he often hid other feelings behind false shows of anger. It was difficult to gauge, but Luna had a pretty good idea this time.

Because Dio had begun to shine. It was a subtle glow, shimmering off his skin and hair, but Luna saw it, and a strange staticky feeling filled her chest.

Only when they were back in the forest did the thought come to her — Dio hadn’t attempted to escape while they were at Serezo.

That moment marked something of a turning point between them. They continued their journey at the same pace, but it felt different somehow. More open, or friendly. Luna began to fill what had been days of relative silence with speech. She talked more about the alchemist and his research, about her garden and the things she’d read. There weren’t really any other topics to draw on — her experiences were limited. But Dio actually urged her on a little, subtly, enough that she nearly didn’t notice it.

He mentioned too the things that were different about looking at life from the ground rather than the sky, although he very obviously avoided talk of his family. In the dawn hours just before settling into sleep, he sharpened a stone he’d picked up – in case they ran into another witch – and hummed unfamiliar tunes, star songs. More than all that, he began to shine. Not brightly, or regularly, but if Luna showed him something that made a slight smile cross his face, there began also to be a soft silver glow off his hair. Every sight of it produced the same warm, buzzing static feeling in Luna’s metal heart.

Neither one of them spoke about their destination, and as the nights passed it faded in Luna’s mind. As though they would never reach their journey’s end, as if they’d just keep traveling together forever.

Then, of course, the bluebird came.

Like Luna, it was a creature made with the alchemist’s magic, and it was larger than any normal bluebird would be. Tied to one of its legs was an envelope, and it hopped down onto a branch and trilled, sticking out its leg for Luna. She opened the envelope, and found inside it a piece of rolled up paper and a stick of charcoal. She unfurled the letter first and read it.

The missive was a straightforward one. The alchemist simply wanted to know if Luna was safe, if she had the star in her possession, and how far she estimated she was from the manor. It sent the truth crashing back down onto Luna’s shoulders. The alchemist didn’t want to speak to Dio, he wanted him as an ingredient in his research.

Luna felt a silken brush of hair as Dio leaned over her shoulder to get a look at the letter. He came to nearly the same conclusion.

“Kinda forgot you were taking me to get killed,” he mused, but when Luna glanced up at him he wasn’t looking at her or the letter – he was staring at the bird.

“I-I… Dio I’m so sorry,” Luna stammered. “I… I don’t, I can’t… He ordered me…”

“You’ve got a job to do, don’t you?” he asked, and his expression was flat — gave nothing away. “He’s your family. Your superior.”

“Dio… I, I don’t…”

He shrugged.

“At least it’s for a good cause, right? You told me about how he’s trying to bring his wife back. That’s not such a horrible thing to die for. Fuck if I’ve done anything useful with my life so far.”

“No!”

The shout came out much louder than Luna intended, and she clapped her hands over her mouth at the volume, dropping the alchemist’s letter. Dio’s blue-green eyes went wide. Startled. There was a glimmer of starlight off his hair, the wary beginning of a shine. The sight gave Luna the courage she needed to drop her hands away from her lips and continue.

“It’s… It’s like you said. He is my family. He’s… And I, I don’t know exactly what he wants to do with you, with your heart,” she admitted, “but I do know it’s not something good. And I can’t… I just can’t take you back there. It’s not right. I won’t do it. I’ll find a way around the order, I will.”

“And what else do you think you’re going to do?” he asked, wry and with a weary look in his eyes. “You can’t disobey him.”

Determined, Luna took his hand in both of her own.

“I don’t know…! I… A loophole. L-let me find you a Babylon candle and get you back to the sky,” she pleaded, squeezing Dio’s hand.

“What’s the point of going back,” he muttered, looking stubbornly away from her and pulling out of her grip. “The sky isn’t any better than down here.”

Luna frowned.

“But it’s your home, it would fit the, the wording of the order—”

“Some home. There’s nothing waiting for me there.”

The place in Luna’s chest where her metal heart lived ached. She wrung her hands, unable to properly express her agitation any other way.

“B-but…”

“It wasn’t an accident that I fell.” Dio paused, lips still slightly parted, as though startled he’d admitted it aloud. “I mean… Oh, fuck it— They kicked me out. The other stars in my constellation. My family. My superior. I didn’t do what they wanted me to, so they didn’t want me anymore. And that means it’s not my home anymore. It won’t work as a loophole. But… I get it, ok? If you don’t do what they want, people turn on you, and that’s fine if it’s someone you barely know, but. Fuck. Your family? Sometimes you, you know, want more than that. You don’t even get a choice, though, so whatever… Whatever happens, I won’t blame you.”

Only then did Luna realize that the reason Dio was getting so fuzzy was because her eyes were filling with tears.

“Dio, I’m so—”

“Whatever happens,” he cut over her to repeat, with a very brave look on his face, “it’s better than getting my heart eaten by a fucking witch. I don’t care if I die, but fuck if I’m going out like that.”

I don’t want you to die, she thought desperately but couldn’t seem to say. That would be horrible. You’re a good person and you saved me; you don’t deserve to die. This is all wrong.

“Where… Wh-where would you go, then?” she asked him instead. “If you could live, if you could go anywhere? Surely you’ve seen something… From, from up in the sky, I mean. Someplace that looked happy. Someplace that could be home.”

Dio sighed, and one hand came up to absently play with his hair.

“There was a town,” he said, voice going soft. “Must be further south of here, it’s down in the middle of the valley. It’s all… Quiet, and shit, but not bad. The people there seem happy. They bicker sometimes, but they garden and do magic and raise their families and watch fireflies on the hill on summer nights. They’ve got a, uh, Star Festival I used to watch every year.”

“Oh,” Luna murmured.

It was more than the ethics.

She didn’t, she realized suddenly, want to take Dio to the alchemist. And she didn’t want to send him back to the sky either, even though he’d be safer there. She wanted him to stay with her. She wanted to go with him to the little town in the valley and live in a small, cozy house and grow a new garden and watch the fireflies on the hilltop in summer evenings.

She wanted it more than anything in the world.

“I love you,” she said wonderingly.

Dio choked on his inhale and spent the next several seconds coughing.

“You what?” he wheezed at last.

“I-I just realized. I love you.”

Dio groaned and covered his face with his hands.

“How can you just say shit like that!” he demanded, voice muffled by his palms.

“But… It’s true,” said Luna, confused.

“Yeah, but you don’t just say it like… Ugh.”

“Do, um,” she began hesitantly, “do you also…?”

“Yes, I—” he began, irritated, but faltered; the blush on his face deepened. “The, the feeling’s mutual.”

The staticky feeling was back, and it spread all the way to Luna’s fingers and toes. She smiled, because even though she didn’t know what to do next, even though a solution seemed impossible, Dio cared about her too. And that was all she needed to keep her hope up.

Luna took a deep breath, nodded, and thought. The alchemist had created her. She didn’t hate him. But she couldn’t go back, not if it meant hurting Dio, killing Dio. And yet, her orders – the ones she couldn’t disobey because even if she was half magic, she was also still half machine – were ironclad.

‘Find it, take it with you, and bring it home.’

She could have justified sending Dio back to the sky, his home, except he’d disavowed it. Luna stroked the bluebird’s little head, troubled. There was no way out. Because the only other home was her own home, which was…

Which was…

The realization hit her, and her eyes went wide. She picked up the letter from the alchemist and began writing a response on the back with the little stub of charcoal in the envelope. Once done, she rolled the letter back up and turned to Dio.

“Can… Can I, um, have some of your hair?” she asked him.

He blinked, uncomprehending.

“My… Hair?”

“Just, um, a little bit?”

“I guess…”

He pulled the sharpened stone from his pocket and sliced off a lock of hair, handing it to Luna. She slipped it and her letter into the tiny envelope and waved the bluebird off — back to the alchemist’s manor, but not back home. She hoped that little piece of star would help the alchemist’s research. But she would never return.

“South of here, right?” she asked, turning to Dio with a smile.

He stared back at her, brows furrowed and teal eyes squinted.

“But… Your orders,” he said.

“There was a loophole after all,” explained Luna, feeling buoyant and free. “He told me to bring you home. But home doesn’t have to be the manor. It could mean anywhere or anyone I decide; I-I want to make a choice of my own. And… I’m choosing you.”

“You mean it?” he asked, voice hesitant.

“I really, really do. Let’s… Let’s go home, Dio.”

At the sound of those words, Dio shone. So bright that Luna felt like it should hurt her eyes, but it didn’t. The dew on the grass glowed silver under his light. Though his features were as sharp as they’d been from the beginning, the look in his eyes was molten. He held out a shimmering hand.

She took it.

[fullmetalscullyy]

I am obsessed with your writing and drop everything when you release new content! ✨✨✨ If you don't mind, I want more Royai angst in my life. I don't think I have seen you do this. One where Riza is tired of waiting for Roy and decides to marry/seriously date someone else. Basically how Roy deals with this. Can be whatever you want, obviously. ☺️

oh my goodness skjhgjk bless u

me? royai angst? don’t you mean my middle name?

and no joke i had an idea for a fic like this in 2018 (almost a year to the date lmao) but never got passed like 500 words and eventually dropped and forgot about it so thanks for bringing me back to it!

(no one mentioned anything about a happy ending either 👀 fair warning!)

enjoy ;)

rated: t

words: 4458

“What?” Roy asked, disbelief colouring his tone. Dread andfear rushed through his body, but he was too much shock to let it show on hisface.

“I’ve got a boyfriend,” she smiled. He knew she was tryingto hide just how happy she was, Roy could see it all over her face. He’d knownher for long enough to be able to tell. Plus, the excitement was clear in hertone.

Catalina looked asshocked as he felt but recovered quickly. She congratulated her friend happily,and the others joined her. Roy had yet to move from his frozen position in thechair and he knew Riza had noticed. He remained in place, still, sayingnothing, and just staring at his old friend.

A whirlwind of emotions flew through is mind. Not one stoodout, leaving him feeling numb and shocked. All he knew was Riza Hawkeye was datingsomeone.

And it wasn’t him.

A sharp elbow to his side jolted him back to the present.Havoc shot him a pointed look.

“That’s great, Riza,” he offered with a smile. They all knewit wasn’t genuine, but Riza didn’t seem to notice. She was too lost in herhappiness to notice him now.

And rightly so, she should be happy. God knows she’d had atough childhood. Her life hadn’t exactly been a forgiving one, yet she hadpersevered and pulled through stronger than ever.

Roy had always planned that her happiness in her later yearswould be because of him. Throughout their lives he had only brought her sorrowand pain. He truly didn’t deserve her, however, there was always a sliver ofhope residing within him that something may happen.

Now it had crumbled to dust.

“Riza, I had no idea. When… When did this happen?” Catalinademanded, looking slightly hurt.

They all had noidea. Least of all, Roy.

But why would he know? She was just his subordinate, nothingmore.

No matter how much he’d hoped that would change.

He’d loved her for years and yet he hadn’t been able tofigure this out, pick up the signs?

She still never left the office early, always waiting forhim to finish his paperwork. He’d been a notorious procrastinator in hisyounger years but now, as a General, he’d buckled down and motivated himself topush forward. After all, the sooner he hit Fuhrer, the sooner he could admit toRiza how he’d felt for years.

She’d put up with his crap for too long. He was too slow.That’s how this happened.

“A couple of months ago,” she admitted.

“Months?”

Months.

Riza nodded. “Yes. We’ve been seeing each other for a fewmonths. We were in the academy together and have kept in touch ever since. Imet him in the hospital again while returning for check-ups last year. He askedme out of a coffee to catch up, we got to talking and now… Here we are,” shebeamed.

She’d been returning for check-ups on her neck? Waseverything okay?

And… Had he been reading the signs wrong for all theseyears?

It was too late to ask her now.

“What’s his name?” Catalina demanded. She was leaningforward in her chair, desperate to drink in as many details as possible. Shewas in the academy with Riza, so was Havoc – who Roy also noted was suddenlyvery interested in who this mystery man was – so of course they would want toknow who it was.

“Do you remember Eric Larsson?”

“The tall, blonde, hunk we used to obsess over,” Catalinapractically slavered. “Oh, Riza, you lucky thing!”

“Hey,” Havoc protested with a frown.

“Sorry, honey, but this guy was something else.”

“I know. I was there,in case you had forgotten.”

“Eric Larsson,” Catalina repeated, her tone taking on adreamy quality as she stared into space with a happy smile. Havoc just grumbledto himself. “You finally landed him, huh? Well, luck you!”

Breda shot a quick look at Roy, who pretended not to notice.It was no secret with the men how he felt about Hawkeye. Not now anyway. He’dbeen told it was blatantly obvious how he felt about Riza, but clearly itwasn’t obvious enough.

*          *          *

“Sir, I’m going out to the deli on 5th Street forlunch. Would you like anything brought in?” Hawkeye asked, poking her headthrough the door to his office.

“No, thank you, Captain.”

“Okay. Enjoy your lunch, sir.” The closed behind her and Roydropped his pen, brooding. Riza had only just recently begun to leave HQ forlunch by herself, and Roy supposed now he knew why. All these little things,these little changes he’d noticed, were all beginning to add up.

Deciding not to dwell on it too much, lest his mood go intodecline once more, Roy turned in his chair, overlooking the courtyard. He wassulking already, and everyone knew it.

Riza was well within her right to date and marry whoever shewanted. She owed Roy absolutely nothing. Even if she thought she did, he woulddismiss it. He’d brought her too much sorrow in her life.

But it didn’t mean he had to like the fact that she was withsomeone else.

Movement caught his eye and he looked, seeing Riza hurryingout from the entrance to HQ. A man with sandy blonde hair was waiting for her,grinning. He extended his arm, offering Riza his hand. She took it and kissedhim before they both fell into step together. Roy felt his chest tighten, hisstomach ball up uncomfortably.

He turned back around in his chair. The movement was moreviolent than intended. Storming of the empty office he left to go the mess hallto join the rest of his team.

He didn’t need another lunch break sitting alone in hisoffice.

*          *          *

He kissed her.

It was the dumbest idea. It was the stupidest idea. She was dating someoneelse and he had the bright idea tokiss her.

He always had been a dumbass.

But, for the briefest moment, she melted against him. Shesighed softly – almost moaning in his mouth – her lips moving against his, andfor one moment in his life, Roy was happy. Trulyhappy.

They were out at Christmas’ new bar, enjoying the grandopening. It was Friday and Roy needed the night to drown his sorrows after theweek he’d had. Riza had left rather quickly and he – in his infinite wisdom –followed her to the stock room through the back. It was dark, her voice wasquiet, and she sounded upset, but he didn’t know what about.

So, he seized the opportunity and –

He kissed her.

Riza shoved him off her.

“What are youdoing?” she growled angrily, fire blazing in her eyes.

“I –”

“You had your chance,” There was a hint of wetness in hereyes. “You had it and you blew it,” she seethed. “Don’t come running to me now only because you can’t havesomething you want.”

“Riza, I’m sorry –”

“No, you’re not,” she shook her head, hugging her arms closeto her as her fire died down, put out by the water falling from her eyes. “Youcouldn’t possibly be. If you were, you would have asked me years ago. But youdidn’t. I’m tired, Roy.” She met his gaze and her tears begun to fall. “I’mtired of waiting for you.”

He wanted to reach out and hug her, comfort her, but thatwasn’t his job anymore. She had someone else to do it, and Riza wouldn’t wantRoy to do it either. He was the reason she needed comforting in the firstplace.

“Please, just –”

She shook her head. “No.”

Riza turned on her heel and left the stock room, leaving Royin the dim light to think about how he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.

He was unsure of how much time had passed. It stretched onfor eternity before him, his future laid out before his eyes.

Cold, empty, and without Riza by his side.

“Mustang?” he heard Havoc call into the room. “You still inhere?” He sounded pissed.

“Over here,” he replied, voice thick.

“What the hell are you doing, man?” he asked. He was pissed. “We saw Riza leave in ahurry. What did you do?”

“I…”

“Roy.”

“I kissed her,” he whispered sadly.

Havoc blinked in surprise. “You what?”

“I kissed her.”

“Why?”

“I… I have no idea.” He was an idiot, that’s why.

“You don’t get to toy with her like that, Mustang,” Havocgrowled. “She’s been waiting for years for your sorry ass and when you can’thave her, you go and do something like that? Think how that must make herfeel!”

“Like shit?” he asked, his on eyes flashing at Havoc. Heknew exactly how it felt because he felt the same way too.

But the world doesn’trevolve around you, Roy boy. You know this. So, why push her to a point likethat? It’s cruel and unfair. She’s happy and you’re trying to blow it for yourown personal gain.

Bastard.

“Come on,” he barked, grabbing his upper arm. “You’re goingto apologise to her.”

“Havoc –” he began, feeling very tired.

“Shut the fuck up,” he hissed as they stepped intoChristmas’ bar. One look at the two and the Madame knew exactly what hadhappened. Nothing got passed her, especially not in her own bar. She frowned athim, pursing her lips. Oh boy, she wasn’t happy. “You’re fixing this becauseyou owe Riza that much.”

“What the hell did you do, Roy boy?” the Madame demanded assoon as they were outside in the cool night air. “Riza left here like a batoutta hell.”

“He kissed her,” Havoc replied for him, tone sour.

“You don’t get to play with her like that –”

“Can you save it?” Roy asked. “Havoc has already given methat lecture and I’ve already told myself that in my head.”

“Cut the attitude, Roy,” Christmas barked. “You will hear ita third time and you will hear it from me.That poor girl has waited for you to make a move or years. Granted, you hadlaws that prevented you both, but there was nothing against telling her. Youcould’ve done that, but you didn’t.”

“I told her!” he shouted in the quiet night. The other twostood quietly as they watched him, the outburst unexpected. “She knows how I feel.Always has. It’s never changed.”

“When?”

Roy paused, unsure of whether he should tell them or not.Havoc was unaware of his time in the Hawkeye household. It was an automaticreaction to hide that information, but this was Havoc. And, the Madameobviously already knew.

Roy told himself “fuck it”. At this point, it didn’tmatter anymore.

“When we were kids,” he admitted.

“Kids?” Havoc asked, confused.

“Teenagers. I studied under her father. I left for themilitary and left her behind – the second biggest regret of my life.”

“What’s the first?” the Madame asked carefully.

Roy took a deep breath, finally admitting how he felt.

“Not telling Riza I still feel the same way now.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I put it off. We had time. Silly, because life has taughtme that everything can be ripped from me just like that.” He snapped hisfingers to demonstrate. “I got complacent because the threat was gone after thePromised Day.” He turned his gaze up to sky, gazing at the stars. “You knowwhat? The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes after the Promised Day washer,” he stated wistfully. “Doctor Marco asked me to look at him, but Icouldn’t. I lied and said I couldn’t see, but all I saw was Riza.” Marco hadasked him to close his eyes again while he used alkahestry to search thesockets to check the nerves were all connected. When Roy opened them again, hetold the truth. He could see again, and it was beautiful, staring at Riza whowas looking on anxiously. “I didn’t want it to be him. I wanted it to be her.”

“Roy?” A familiar voice called to him uncertainly. His eyesclosed. Damn it. He had no idea she’dbeen listening.

Roy placed his hands in his pockets, half turning away fromthe three people staring at him. The Madame with a knowing, satisfied, look onher face, Havoc looking very surprised, and Riza. She was staring at him withan odd look on her face, like she didn’t quite believe his words and wanted himto tell her it was true.

Or that it wasn’t true.

He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t hurt her again.

His back straightened and he schooled his features into amask. “Captain Hawkeye,” he greeted formally, removing himself emotionally fromthe conversation as Havoc and Christmas looked between them both. “I apologisefor my behaviour. It was inappropriate and I do, honestly, regret my actions.” Regretted not doing it sooner. Regretted how it made you feel. “Iunderstand if you no longer wish to work with me. On Monday there will be astack of transfer papers on your desk.”

“Mustang –” Havoc interrupted, realising this was not goingin the direction he anticipated.

“The last thing I want is for you to feel uncomfortable inyour place of work. You can decide what you wish to do with them. Goodnight.”

He turned and walked away, ignoring the Madame calling outhis name.

*          *          *

Never in his life had he felt so lonely.

He’d lost everything. The love of his life, his soulmate.Riza must have felt the same way at some point. She’d been “waiting for him”after all. And he’d blown it, taken too long, so she had sought out someoneelse to comfort her, love her. He wishedit could be him, but it wasn’t meant to be. He didn’t believe in fate. Fatewouldn’t have given them the life they’d had, but he and Riza obviously justweren’t meant to be together in that way.

“I’d follow you intohell if you asked me to”. Well, this was hell all right, and he was herealone. He’d caused this, it wasn’t her fault, but this was where he belonged.

Alone.

No one came after him. The Madame had called his name, butshe couldn’t leave the bar unattended. Plus, he’s been an idiot and wouldn’t besurprised his foster mother took Riza’s side on this. The Madame had alwaysliked Riza.

Havoc had known Riza longer, they’d been in the Academytogether, so Roy knew his loyalties lay with her. Plus, the whole team wasaware of the shit he’d put Riza through. If Roy was them, he’d pick Riza overtheir CO as well.

His apartment was cold and uninviting when he entered. Itwas times like this he wished he had a dog. Someone to greet him when he camehome. At the thought, an image of Hayate popped into his head and Roy brushedit aside. That reminded him of Riza.

Sitting on his bed, Roy stared into space as he ran over theevents of the night in his head.

Why did he kissher?

Because you wanted toknow what it felt like one last time.

They’d been together as teenagers. They’d slept together.That night of her father’s funeral Roy had whispered his promises anddeclarations of love against her skin. They still stood true to this day.

He wondered if Riza remembered any of them.

She’d been pissed when he’d left her again. Roy knew that.Perhaps that’s why she had ignored his words.

All through her life he had let her down and hurt her. Shewas wise to find someone else and leave him behind.

*          *          *

Monday morning came and Roy entered the office looking likehis usual self – which nowadays looked brooding and miserable – holding hisbreath to see if there would be signed transfer forms on his desk or not.

His stomach dropped when he saw them sitting there. Heclosed the inner doors to his office, blocking out the rest of the team wholooked on with their familiar looks of concern.

Dread prickled over his skin as he rounded the desk.

They were unsigned.

He let out a breath of shocked relief.

Selfish bastard.

The knock on his door drew him out of surprise. He squasheddown the hope. What he’d done was inexcusable and didn’t warrant hope. Riza is happy. Without you. Remember that.

“Good morning Captain,” he greeted professionally despitethe knot in his stomach.

She didn’t sign them.

“Good morning, sir. Could I request a minute of your time?”

“Of course. Take a seat,” he gestured towards the chair infront of his desk. The doors closed quietly behind her.

Riza took a deep breath as she composed herself. Her handswere folded in her lap, her posture perfect. The way she was holding herself,it was controlled.

“I was wondering if we could talk. Privately, after work.”There was a fire in her eyes that showed she was pissed. Roy sighed. He had alot of work to do and was unsure why she was dragging this out to be longer andmore painful than it needed to be. She could have signed the transfer papersand be done with him. She could have moved on with her life.

“If you wish,” he replied carefully. Curiosity may havekilled the cat, but now he wanted to know whyshe was dragging this out and why she hadn’t signed those papers. He had arough idea but wanted to hear it from Riza herself.

“My place? After work?”

So, it really was to be private. Probably to avoid a publicshouting match.

“I don’t think that’s wise, Captain, given your new socialcircumstances.” Her jaw locked.

“I don’t have a problem with it, sir,” she replied. Roycould almost hear the hint of sourness in her tone. “It’s my apartment, afterall. Not Eric’s.”

“Of course. I apologise for the assumption. Would you like aride home?”

“That would be lovely, sir. Thank you.”

“No problem, Captain. Is there anything else I can help youwith?”

“That will be all, sir.” She vacated the seat and saluted,not quite meeting him in the eye.

She was pissed.

Probably about the transfer papers.

Whoops.

Too bad he couldn’t really bring himself to care at thispoint.

*          *          *

“Transfer papers?”Riza stressed as soon as they were in the comfort of her own home. “Really?”

“I gave you the opportunity to get out, should you want it,”Roy explained, taking a seat on an armchair by the fire. Hayate hopped up onhis lap and breathed in his face. Well, at least someone in this house washappy to see him. “How I acted was inappropriate and I would have understood ifyou didn’t feel comfortable working with me anymore.”

Riza blinked at him, seemingly surprised by histhoughtfulness. Then the hard tone was back. “Regardless,” she stated, enteringher bedroom to get changed. He banished the thought of her undressing from hismind. God, she had no idea the affect she had on him. “When I signed up to workwith you, I made a promise and I intend to follow it through to the bitter end.Don’t assume that I would brush you – orwhat I did in Ishval – off like that just because of your idiotic actions.” Shefell quiet and Roy heard the sound of fabric rustling.

She was right, as always.

Roy turned his attention to the room to try and distracthimself from Riza undressing and wished he hadn’t. There was a tie neatlyfolded on the coffee table, a suit jacket draped over the chair by the table.

Eric’s.

There was a photo of them both. They were smiling and happy.Roy looked away. Then, he noticed another photo on the coffee table. It was ofhim. And Riza. They were young. This was taken at her house when he’d been astudent. They were grinning, an arm around each other’s shoulders. Royremembered this. Mr. Carson from the farm next door had taken it. He felt apressure building his throat as he saw that photo. He hadn’t seen or eventhought about that photo in years.

And here it was, sitting proudly on Riza’s coffee table nextto a photo of her and her partner.

“I’ve always loved you, Roy, but I’m happy with Eric,” shewhispered.

His head snapped around to face her as she entered the roomagain. She was a vision in grey sweatpants and a hoodie from the Academy.

The revelation confirmed his thoughts and he nodded,offering her a sad smile. “I understand.”

“I… I wanted it to be you but… Eric has opened me up toother things. And it’s nice… To be loved by someone who doesn’t know how muchof a monster I truly am.”

Roy nodded, knowing the feeling. Even now, they were stillhaunted. It was expected, but it didn’t make it any easier.

“You are wonderful, Riza. Don’t ever forget that. And Iwould never take that happiness away from you. I just… I wanted to tell you howI felt. And I ended up showing you instead.”

Riza nodded, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink as shethought back to the kiss. Roy shivered minutely as he remembered her moan, herlips moving against his.

“Can… Can I admit something that you might hate me for?”

“I could never hate you, Roy,” she smiled softly.

Hesitantly, he stepped closer and grasped her fingerslightly in his. It felt so right to have them both entwined together.

“In that stock room I was overcome by the thought that Iwould never get the opportunity to do it again. The last time I kissed you Iwas eighteen years old – over fifteen years ago – and I wanted to do it onemore time. Just in case I never could again.”

Riza was silent and offered him no other comment. He didn’texpect any either.

“It was dumb, it was inappropriate, it was selfish. I knowthat. But… I know “I couldn’t help myself” doesn’t justify it, but it’s true. Iapologise for that, but you know I’ve always been an arrogant idiot,” he added,smiling sadly.

The corner of her mouth quirked up into a genuine smile.

“May I?” he asked, opening his arms.

Riza nodded and stepped forward into his embrace, holdinghim tighter than he thought she would. Roy responded in kind, holder her tightagainst him while a piece of his heart shattered at the acceptance that thiswould be the last time he’d ever hold her like this.

They had spent fifteen years already hiding how they feltabout each other. What was the rest of their lives at this point?

It would be easy. It wouldn’t crush him. It wouldn’t shatterhis heart in two to see Riza marry Eric. Not at all.

“I will alwayslove you, Roy. Don’t forget that.”

He chuckled to himself. It was fitting, really.

“And I, you.”

He kissed the top of her head, giving her one more squeezebefore he let go, driving the final nail in the coffin that was their personalrelationship.

All those years together… Well, at least he’d have them tolook back on fondly. He’d been loved by Riza Hawkeye all this time, and he hadloved her in return. Even without being able to show it or proclaim it to theworld, it had been enough. More than he’d ever deserved.

“Anyway, I should get going,” Roy announced, stepping awayto put distance between them, both physically and emotionally. “Thank you forgiving me the opportunity to explain myself. I really do appreciate that.”

“Of course,” she stated. Roy had already turned away to pickup his jacket, but he noticed the hitch in her voice. He ignored it. He had to,because if he turned around, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from drawingher to him and holding her close, never letting go.

“Goodbye Captain. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Goodbye, Roy.”

He ignored the emotion in her voice, her wet eyes, andsmiled as he turned away a final time. Roy nodded to himself as he stood on thelanding, Riza’s apartment door closed firmly behind him.

So that was it.

It was done.

He would hold onto the hope that things might not work outin the end for them both, but he would never actively look forward to thatpoint. After all, she was happy with Eric. He wouldn’t take that away fromRiza. However, he promised himself that if the opportunity did present itself,he wouldn’t waste it again.

At least they could still work together. At least he still hadthat. He would still be able to see her, which was all he asked for. Theywouldn’t be moving away. Riza had made it clear she still had a job to do whileby his side. Roy had until he was Fuhrer then she would be gone. Well, that’swhat he theorised. Her job would be done, so why would she stick around? Their job would be done. Roy would makethe changes necessary then be executed for his crimes. That was how things weresupposed to go, and that’s what he had resigned himself to years ago. He didn’tdeserve the happiness he would receive from being with Riza. Not after Ishval.

It was fitting that she would find someone else. After all,he was the biggest monster of them all, and deserved nothing.

Perhaps it was better he would never get the chance to findhappiness with Riza. He would always love her, but getting the chance to beloved by her, to hold her, to kiss her… It would make his judgement day evenworse. He would die aching for more time with the woman he had loved since hewas a teenager. This way, he would die wondering what could have happenedbetween them, but with the knowledge that he’d atoned for his sins and notenjoyed himself like he longed to after robbing thousands of their lives.

There would be nothing dragging his focus away from hisjudgement day. That was the endgame. Always had been, always will be.

Shoving his hands deep in his pockets, Roy turned and walkeddown the hallway and out of Riza’s personal life.

[gigglyirwin]

Broken Pieces

Pairing: Calum x Reader

Word Count: ~1.2k

Warnings: angst

Prompt: I’ll be home for Christmas

Summary: The band is asked to play a show the day before Christmas Eve, which completely messes up their flight plans. Calum’s left waiting for a plane that’s never going to bring him home to you in time.

This is day 15 of 25 Days of Christmas. Check out the masterlist HERE!

Every time Calum left for tour, it was hard. You’d stay up way too late, your night beginning with him making love to you slowly, wanting to be as close to you as possible and was less about pleasure and more about connection. After, you’d shower together and brush your teeth side by side still standing in your towels. He’d steal minty kisses from you every so often after that, crawling into bed beside you that night.

The night was filled with deep talks. Calum talked about his excitement yet nervousness for tour and you talked about how proud you were of him, but also how much you were going to miss him. You shared kisses between I love you’s, laughed when comparing hand sizes and teased him by putting your cold feet on his legs.

“I’m gonna miss this,” he whispered when you had tucked up under his arm for the night. Your fingers traced the tattoos on his arm, one of your favorite things to do. It calmed you down, and him too and helped you both sleep.

The mornings were spent cuddling in bed until the last minute possible. It’d be quiet at breakfast, and the drives to the airport were for your thoughts. Calum would hold your hand the whole way there, music softly filling the car as he stroked the back of your hand. “I love you.” were the first words out of his mouth that morning. He pulled you in for a hug, holding you tightly and hardly minding the flashing of cameras and cell phones he could see. You walked him to the gates until you had to finally leave. He always told you not to cry, and yet you always did. Calum wouldn’t depart until he saw you smile again, telling you once more that he loved you.

It never got any easier.

Two months had passed since you last saw Calum face to face. It was hard on both of you. Every day was a new challenge and as things on tour grew more and more hectic your talks grew few and far between. Calum still called every day, but what used to be 3 or 4 hours of talking had turned into not even hour-long conversations. It was slowly causing a tear to form in your relationship.

The tear grew straight down the middle when Calum announced he may not make it back for Christmas.

“What do you mean, might not make it back for the holidays?”

“We got asked to play a show on the 23rd in London.”

You took Calum off speaker phone then, pressing the phone against your ear. Maybe you weren’t hearing this right. He further explained the situation. You knew the tour dates were all close together come Christmas time, but they were supposed to have the whole week of Christmas off. They were supposed to be home on the 22nd and leaving again on the 28th. You were flying out with them, spending New Years in New York with Calum.

Calum was set to leave London on the 22nd, but now you knew this would interfere with his travel plans. “What about other flights?” You asked.

“Everything is full because of the holidays. I got a bystander ticket for the morning of the 24th, but I’m not guaranteed a spot.” You sniffled on the other end, using the sleeves of the hoodie you were wearing to dry your tears. “Please don’t cry,” Calum begged, feeling his own heart sink when he heard you.

“I’m trying not to,” you sighed.

“This is my job,” Calum began.

You snapped. “I know.”

Calum tried not to let the tone of your voice get to him. He tried not to think that maybe your relationship was teetering on the edge of disaster. All his past relationships had ended roughly the same way. No matter how much time Calum gave, it just wasn’t enough. “You know I’m going to try everything in my power to be home for Christmas. I promise you I will try.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Cal. I know you are trying. I just haven’t seen you in two months straight and I’ve been counting down the days until you return.”

“Baby, I’m still going to come home,” he reminded you. “They have a flight on the 26th that I have a ticket for whether I get a bystander seat or not.”

Calum had spent that whole day talking to you. He had bystander passes for four different flights and he just hoped he’d get onto one of them. The airports were packed. He couldn’t believe how many people were flying out on Christmas Eve. He just knew he wasn’t getting on the very first flight, not with how many people were in the terminal. It was overflowing. Every chair was taken and people were waiting in line to use the charging stations. His chest grew tight at the thought of not making it back in time.

“I’m still waiting, but I don’t think I’m getting on this flight” Calum texted, watching the three dots appear and disappear a few times before your reply came through.

“It’s okay”

He already felt in his heart that he wasn’t going to be home for Christmas.

As soon as the flight was fully boarded, Calum approached the attendant who sadly shook her head. It was then a race against the clock to get to the other terminal. He made it in time for boarding, but this one was equally as full.

Calum stopped texting you at 5 o’clock that night. You hoped for the positives, that maybe he had gotten on a flight and wasn’t able to text you before takeoff or that his phone died and he was waiting for it to fully charge before telling you he had been boarded, but nothing came in.

Not until midnight when his contact picture popped up with a call waiting to be answered.

“I’m really sorry,” was the first thing he said.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “It’s okay, Calum. This is not your fault. I know you tried.” It wasn’t hard to tell that you were still upset. You had planned to do so much with him on Christmas and now it had all been ripped away.

“There's a few more flights tomorrow that I’ll try to get on, but I wouldn’t see you until late on Christmas day if that’s the case.”

“Calum, it’s fine,” you repeated. “If I don’t see you until the day after Christmas than I don’t see you until then and I’m going to have to be okay with it.”

“I really wanted to be there sooner.”

“Can we please stop talking about it?” You pleaded.

“Yeah. Sure o-of course. What do you want to talk about?”

“Actually, I just want to go to bed.”

Calum swore his heart shattered. He choked out an ‘I love you’ before the line went dead. It took him a second to comprehend everything, but then he knew how badly this had been broken. Calum’s head filled with memories of you, he thought of things he could’ve done better or how much extra time he could’ve given you. But he knew you were upset. He knew this was hurting you as much as it was hurting him. But it didn’t stop the tightness in his chest or the feeling of his heart constricting and the pain that came with it all. How on earth was he supposed to fix this?

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[shadesofjungkook]

a big surprise

words: 1254

prompt: “we’re under the mistletoe aren’t we?”

genre: fluff

a/n:  Welcome to Day 1 of Ficmas! this is an ongoing series that i thought i would do until christmas day. i’m excited (and nervous) to share what i’ve been working on! i hope you enjoy this first fic and as always don’t be shy to pop into my ask box and share what you thought. see you tomorrow! 💖✨ 

a sigh of relief escapes your lungs as your slide through your front door and into your home. you shudder, tiny bumps prickling along your skin as your body begins to thaw. you begin shedding all your excess layers, hanging them up for another day when you hear the quick pitter-patter of padded footsteps coming your way.

jungkook peeps his head from around the corner and you smile at the sight of him. he instantly smiles back as he fully turns the corner, radiating a kind of warmth different from the one that warms your body. he appears right in front of you and pulls you into his chest, wraps his arms around your shoulders and places his chin atop your head.

“i have a surprise for you,” jungkook sings as he rocks the both of you side to side. you pull away slightly to peer up at him, your eyebrows raised and a small ‘o’ forming on your lips.

“a surprise?”

jungkook doesn’t say anything, pulling his bottom lip over his teeth instead as he nods up and down like a bobblehead. fondness spreads from the left side of your chest, as you feel jungkook’s excitement vibrating off his body. i really am dating a man-child you think, a soft chuckle escaping from your lips.

you step back out of the hug and remove the rest of your outdoor clothes. you eventually turn on your heels and step past jungkook to move towards the living room. you come to an abrupt stop when jungkook catches your wrist, his eyes are wide in panic. he quickly tows you back into him.

“wait! you have to close your eyes first."

a chuckle slips from your lip, followed by a roll your eyes. but nonetheless, you follow his instructions and flutter your eyelids close. jungkook waves a hand in front of your face before moves behind you and places his fingers over your eyes.

“okay, no peeking.”

you snicker, “i don’t think i have much of a choice here.”

he pauses and shrugs in agreement, “true.”

“okay enough about that. it's surprising time," jungkook declares. "i’m going to guide you through the apartment okay? just listen to my voice and you’ll get to see your big surprise.”

“yes sir!” you say as you blindly salute jungkook. he grins in response and tilts his head down to leave a quick kiss atop your head.

“okay, let’s get it."

jungkook does his absolute best to lead you to your final destination. but did you stub your toe along the way and vow to seek revenge on the boy? yes. sadly, at the moment your plot for revenge is the least of jungkook’s worries. his focus is directed solely into positioning you perfectly between the entrance of your kitchen and living room. he settles you into your spot and peels his hands away from your face.

"okay, you can open your eyes now."

you blink away the glare of the lights, as the living room is revealed to you from behind jungkook’s hands. a rush of excitement courses through your body as you eagerly scan the space in front of you. every nook and cranny of your living room falls victim to your scrutinizing eyes as you search for you big surprise. but despite your efforts, you find nothing.

you head falls to the side as your furrow your eyebrows. what sort of surprise did your mischievous boyfriend plan? you thought (hoped) that maybe a puppy would pop out of a hidden box somewhere, and run straight into your arms. but everything in the living room looked the exact same from when you left this morning. not a single thing was out of place.

“i don’t get it. is this supposed to be a game of spot the difference? what’s the surprise?”

“turn around.”

you do as he says, turning on your heels to face him. you lock eyes with the large boy, searching for the answer to your question somewhere in the depths of his irises.

“so?” you drag out, “what’s the surprise? everything looks the same to me. is it in the kitchen?”

jungkook doesn’t verbally respond to you. his mouth is much too busy trying to restrict the growing cheshire grin on his face. instead, his response is a shake of his head from side to side. you slit your eyes at him, suspicious of what was going on.

“jeon jungkook,” you begin slowly, “what. is. the. surprise?”

jungkook doesn’t bother controlling himself this time around, as he lets a full-blown grin stretch across his face. he only adds a waggle of his eyebrows as he continues on with his vow of silence.

“ugh!” you moan out.

you fall forward and grab onto his shoulders, shaking him with all your might. you hope that just maybe your answer will fly out from somewhere on your boyfriend’s body. your hopes are dashed when the only thing that comes out of jungkook is a thrown back head and a wholehearted laugh. his eyes crinkle around the edges up as he grabs your hands and brings them down in front of you. he holds them there and brushes his thumbs over your knuckles letting the last bit of his giggles bubble out of him before he speaks.

“think long and hard babe. what kind of surprise do you think i’d give you this holiday season?”

his supposed clue ends with another waggle of his eyebrows as you furrow yours.

“is this some sort of riddle?”

jungkook shakes his head, slowly leaning down to bring himself face to face with you. he looks at you for a moment before his eyes glance upward, then back to yours. he stares at you again before he lets his focus drop to your lips.

“c'mon babe, what would be the best gift i could give you right now for christmas?”

all you can do at this point is give him a blank stare. you had no idea what this kid was hinting at and it was frustrating you to your core. you file through the clues you’ve been given and try to process all the information. but with jungkook’s face merely centimetres away from your own, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. even if you couldn’t understand what the hell jungkook was going on about, you knew very well how good he looked up close.

whatever, this is fine. you think. yeah, this is great. i really like him up close like this, he looks so good…. yeah… almost good enough to-

one. two. three. click

“we’re under a mistletoe, aren’t we?”

“bingo.”

jungkook grins as he lets go of your hands moving them up to hold your face. he brings you up onto your tippy toes and succeeds in keeping up with the good ole mistletoe tradition.

you wrap your arms around his shoulders bringing him in a little closer as his one arm moves down to wrap around your middle. your fingers travel along his skin and past the nape of his neck to rake through his ebony hair. a breathy moan escapes from jungkook's lips and you smile to into the kiss with satisfaction. moments after jungkook pulls away, head resting on your forehead as he beams down at you with ragged breath.

“surprise,” he whispers, bringing a small giggle out of your heaving chest.

"and a damn good one at that," you whisper before you reach up to press a quick kiss on his lips once again.

[gloster]

Favorite Fanfics of 2018

So after seeing so many booktubers and book people make a list of their favorite books of 2018, I figured why not do one for fanfics. After all, they are stories done by insanely-talented, creative people who deserve more love. Why not make a list of the favorites that really blew you away this away-along with hyping the people up who need more love? 

I implore you all to try, especially: @kila09, @scarlet47, @awjiminie, @profoundfelicity, @dreamydrarry, @sebbies, @goldentruth813, @sasuhinas-fan, @l0vegl0wsinthedark, @oh-my-fancan, @eyelashesandentropy. Show some love to your fics, share the recs. 

My favorite fanfics of 2018: 

1). The Changing Lights by @lazywonderlnds (drarry, featuring fem-Draco)

Summary:  Harry returns for an eighth year following the end of the war and soon realizes that although he's put his own animosity towards Malfoy aside, no one else seems to have done the same. When a hex leaves his oldest rival in the body of a female and ridicule doubles, Harry discovers that his hero complex is a difficult thing to fight.

THIS. FUCKING. STORY. OMG. OMG. First off, I have to thank @scarlet47. It is because of her and the insanely amazing fanart she did that I discovered this hidden gem. And I thank her for it since this has to be the best drarry fanfic I’ve read in the longest time.

It has been too damn long since a drarry fanfic had me hooked the way this one did. First chapter in, halfway through, I was hooked. I blew through the chapters, and am anxiously, eagerly waiting for more because it was so good. 

I also love it since I’ve been wanting to read a fem-Draco story. I know some drarry lovers don’t love genderbent drarry but I love it. I’ve read plenty of fem-Harry but sadly hadn’t come across fem-Draco. And the ones I managed to find were just okay.  This one though...set and fucking broke the bar. It makes me CRAVE and want more (feel free to send any recs featuring it). And I loved it so much that I wanna reread but I have to resist since I have a mountain of fanfics to go through. 

2). Oh Darling, Stand by Me by @beatitudinembty (BTS, taekook)

Summary: Kim Taehyung had never coped well when there was an angry alpha around, no matter that he wasn't the object of their fury. Wisely choosing to keep his mouth shut, he had ignored the flaring annoyance building up inside of his chest at being treated like a frail and delicate porcelain doll who did not know any better, once again.

He was not frail.

He was not delicate.

And he was also not anywhere near ignorant.

"And how do you suggest we do that?" Alpha Jeon asked eventually, tiredly taking a seat when he realised that Alpha Kim was not about to open his mouth any time soon.

"How else, Alpha Jeon," Alpha Park said easily, an eerie smile taking over her lips as she regarded both the Kings levelly, "Just like we have sealed our alliances with one another, of course."

If you would have told me that I would fall in love so hard, so quick with a royal-AU, I would either look at you like you are crazy or say...”That would have be one of hell of a story to get me hooked.” Most love royal-AUs, but I typically get too bored with them. Most take forever with the romance, others become too UNNECESSARILY angsty. The political aspect gets so tiring. This one though was the fucking JACK-POT. 

We have a royal-AU with both parties wanting to make the most of the marriage and go from friends to more, which I love and adore so much. Set in an Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamic world done so well. We have feisty, independent Taehyung who may be an Omega but sure as hell doesn’t let people’s narrow mind-sets get him down. We have Jungkook who’s the sweetest in the most softest of ways-and possessive in the most delicious of ways. READ. IT. If you love reading BTS stories, READ IT. If you love royal au with taekook, READ. IT. if you’re in need of a new BTS story, FUCKING. READ. IT. 

3). Love Yourself Series by @profoundfelicity (BTS: namjin, taekook, sope, yoonmin)

Summary: Linear stories revolving around themes of love, self-acceptance, and understanding.

This is a 3-story series following various couples: 

Pretty In Pink follows namjin

My Lovely Lilac follows taekook

Under Pressure follows Yoongi, JHOPE, and Jimin 

This series, this goddamn holy grail of a series-I could not just pick one story of them. Had to say the entire series since it’s THAT GOOD. All stories connect to each other, so even though one story focuses on one couple, the side pairings and characters still play a massive part in them. All stories tackle sexuality, gender norms, trauma, parental abuse and neglect, self-discovery, self-understanding, self-love.  ALL. ARE. FUCKING. AMAZING. ABSOLUTELY, RIDICULOUSLY, UNBELIEVABLY amazing. AND NEEDS TO BE READ BY ALL. 

I feel like this series is painfully underrated, since not too many BTS-fans I talk to know of it. And it’s so good. I honestly learned so much about sexuality, the different branches of it, and the harms of gender norms, rethinking the gender norms through these 3 stories than all the years I’ve been in school. It’s amazing. And is so important during the turmoil we’re currently in. Also the writer is a fucking, perfect, precious cinnamon roll who deserves all the nicer things in life. 

4). It’s The Most Wonderful Time (Of The Year) by @awjiminie (BTS, yoonmin)

Summary: Park Jimin is only three years old when he meets cooler, older, and smarter Min Yoongi for the first time, and is immediately enamoured.

For the first time in his entire life, Jimin feels an emotion he never thought he would feel: infatuation.

Not that he even understands what that feeling means.

All he knows is that there’s a small, pale boy at the front door of his home, right under the hanging mistletoe, firmly gripping his father’s hand and his mother’s skirt as he stares unabashedly into Jimin’s eyes, rendering him absolutely speechless.

Or

childhood best friends yoonmin growing up together and experiencing the complexities of love & relationships, as well as, the harsh realities of growing older over the years, on Christmas day

OH. MY. FRIGGERING. GOD. Warning to all: you will most definitely need a cavity filling from the vast amount of sweetness in this story. It is that fucking cute and so damn good. 

This, to me, is the epitome of sweet holiday goodness every person needs in their lives both during and even after the holiday season. Along with a nice mug of hot chocolate. Or something insanely delicious to go with it. We have yoonmin meeting as kids during the holidays and instantly falling for each other, we have side-taekook that comes along, we have the sweetest, most perfectly-done vmin friendship that just proves they are the definition of platonic soulmates (you will die reading chapter 3).

This story also holds a special place in my heart since I read it during a difficult time and needed some sweetness. Also got to know the author @awjiminie who is the sweetest, purest human being alive and needs love. 

5). Fate Worse than Death by @awjiminie (BTS, taekook)

Summary: For an immortal, five hundred and sixty-six years passed by in the blink of an eye, as time was endless and life was infinite. Yet, for Kim Taehyung, five hundred and sixty-six years of a meaningless existence passed agonisingly slow with each second dragging on to the next as he waited for the day that he would finally see his beloved once more. His beloved who had been ripped from him just as they were on the cusp of freedom. Freedom to finally live and love together without any barriers.

Kim Taehyung lived every day feeling as lonely as he did when he lost him, even when he had his coven to call family, his maker, Min Yoongi, and his lavish lifestyle in one of Seoul's richest districts where he studied at one of the most influential universities.

But nothing was the same. Not without him. Never without him.His lover, his life, and his everything. 

His Jeon Jungkook.

If I could sum up this story in two words, it would be this: HOLY. FUCK. If I could sum up the writer with the plots and twists and fucking cliff-hangers she throws my way, one word in my best Josh Peck’s voice: EVIL. Pure, goddamn evil. And I know for a fact @scarlet47 can agree with me on that one. But it is so damn good. 

Once upon a time, middle school me, along with high school me, was the BIGGEST, die-hard vampire fan. You can thank Twilight for that. And also Vampire Diaries, before season 4 ruined it all. However, like most vampire fantatics, my love for vampires died. Even though I have read the occasional vampire-trope in fanfics with my OTPS, it was just okay. 

This fucking story came out of nowhere and snatched me by my hair and didn’t let me until I got to the recent chapter. It reminded me why I fell in love with vampires in the beginning. Along with that, it also carries so many things I love, so many beloved tropes: reincarnation (which I need more of), enemies-to-lovers, a slow-burn that is so excruciating and so well-done with so many possibilities attached to it, the sweetest taegi platonic relationship that melted my heart. It definitely gave me Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibes, and those good, non-annoying alluring feelings Twilight brought to us when we first read it. 

Basically if you love vampires/in need of a vampire story/love angsty enemies-to-lovers story, you will love this. 

6). EPOCH by Sharleena (BTS, Yoongi, Jimin x Hoseok) 

Summary: “It's kind of fucked up that we feel like this, don't you think?” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah.” Hoseok says, Jimin shrugs.

“Maybe we should take this as a sign.” he says.

“A sign for what?” Yoongi looks at the boy and his thumb is rubbing circles on the soft of Hoseok's stomach.

“That maybe we should stick together.” Jimin whispers.

Yoongi doesn't speak for a long time after that, eyes staring at the ceiling where the red lights keep flickering.

“Yeah.” he finally murmurs, words almost getting lost in the echoes of the music “Yeah, we should.”

Or, they are different, but they were lost and their paths still crossed.

Before the end of 2017, if you had told me that I would be into poly-relationships...there’s a good chance I will give you a look questioning your sanity. I could never get into them. To me, it always felt like one person was being the shared toy between two people. That all changed thanks to several stories, including House of Cards (SO FUCKING GOOD) and Guns, Knives, and Lace that were discovered by chance, were read, and completely changed my mind on them. 

This story made me fall deeper in love with poly-relationships. So well-done, so-addicting, and you can feel the love equally shared between the 3 main characters who are all so different but fit each other so perfectly. 

It’s the kind of story that’s so good, you’re stunned by the number of chapters. 

7). Hear the Harmony Only When It’s Harming Me by @horsegirlharry (drarry, fem-slash)

Summary: Before the war, Draco was so certain of her looks, her breeding, knew exactly how to dress to accentuate her curves without ever looking cheap or tawdry. Now, her body feels strange and extra, like something that she’s forced to carry around with her, a lump of scar tissue that only fires a nerve impulse if it’s brushing knees with Harriet Potter over tea and stolen scones.

---

Or, Harriet and Draco finding themselves (and each other) after the war.

*lets out a low whistle* You know one of those stories you happen to find at random? The story you see on someone’s else’s favorite lists or their collection of favorite stories and become curious? Or, in my case, see a story with an intriguing summary and beautiful edit and you think, I’ll give it a try? And as soon as you finish the last line of the story, you are so grateful to past you for deciding to read it since the story ended up being one of the best perfect stories ever? 

Well this is that story. 

I know a lot of people aren’t the biggest fan of genderbent, especially with drarry. Even I who loves reading about fem-Harry or Fem-Draco get picky since most time you read a story with them, but they don’t feel like them. That wasn’t the case here. Despite the obvious genital changes and names, they felt like drarry. Personalities were right on point, their relationship development was perfect. It was seriously amazing. 

I suggest you give it a try. 

8). Pas De Deux by @julietsemophase

Summary: Harry has a show to put on and the last thing he needs is prima ballerina Draco Malfoy messing things up. But when Draco is injured, the two end up spending more time together and Harry wonders if maybe there's something between them after all?

Muggle AU. Smut.

Really, do I need to say anymore? Given how popular this drarry fanfic writer is? Given how insanely sweet and brilliant her drarry stories are? Do I need to say anymore more? 

I will say this: Ballet-Draco + Stage-hands Harry= one very, very, very happy reader. 

9). Say the Words (Say Them Out Loud) by @goldentruth813 (drarry)

Summary:  When Draco gets assigned as the Auror to guard Harry Potter day and night, he is sure nothing good will come of it. But as the days go on Draco is forced to evaluate himself and things he thought to be true about Potter and relationships. Sometimes it's not love at first sight. Sometimes, first, it's miscommunication and misunderstanding. A story in which Harry and Draco learn to accept the things they want from themselves and from each other.

Again, we see the name. We know the name. We love the name. We love the stories. Do I need to say anything more? Maybe not, since again, we all know and love this person and her amazing stories, but I will make this. 

One of the major things I loved about this story is the fact consent was a big part of the story, of the relationship. Safe to say, we learned, given the BS in the news, that sadly not too many people know the meaning of the word. Don’t seem to grasp the meaning. And this story definitely enforces it and I love it. 

Also LOVE how she did this story. How she wrote their relationship, which was snarky and witty but not tiresome or too annoying. Also, slight spoiler, but the career Janel had Harry be made me so happy. 

This whole story had me so happy, and I loved it so much. 

10). This Isn’t A Dream (Let Me Love You) by...surprise, surprise (NOT) @awjiminie (BTS, yoonmin)

Summary: As captain of his high school’s basketball team, Min Yoongi dedicated all of his attention to his team and their games. His focus on the game never waned, not once for anything or anyone.

Well, until head cheerleader Park Jimin flashed his abs during a solo cheer and made him fuck up his shot.

As we can tell, I clearly gained a new favorite fanfic writer. Seems fitting since I did join a new fandom, aka the phenomena that is BTS. 

What on earth can I say about this story? I feel like it’s one of those that you have to read for yourself to understand why it’s so good. Let’s face it, whenever we try to describe something and hype it up, it’s usually a fail and can never match the goodness of the story. But I will attempt. 

First off, if the summary doesn’t make you the least bit curious, I don’t know what will. Does it sound like a typical high-school AU? Yes, I mean we have basketball player Yoongi and cheerleader Jimin. It is a typical AU? Nope, definitely not. There is so much humor, so much angst, so much slow-burn that drives you nuts and makes you wanna kill the author for the way she ends her chapters but at the same time makes you 10x more thristy for the next chapter.

Also for reasons I cannot explain, but because an inside joke between me and @awjiminie, this story seriously unleashed the High School Musical fangirl in me. I don't know why. It's hardly anything like HSM but every time I read it, the songs play in my head. Especially Troyella.

This is definitely a story I cannot recommend enough. Cannot gush enough over. Please please read

And thus concludes my top 10 favorite fanfics of the year. To the writers who created them, thank you so much for your wonderful stories. I honestly you guys share the fanfics you absolutely loved this year. Doesn’t have to be 10. It can be more than 10. Less than 10. Whatever and how many you love

[lovingalexlots]

Throw Back Thursday v.5

Surprise! Wait, what!? is the throwback this week. It’s one of the longer installments of the D.A.F. series and I liked how it turned out, so it’s saddening to see that it hasn’t been that popular :(

_____________

Ao3 Link

Posting date: 7-17-19

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 2,215

Relationships: Merthur

Other Tags: Established Relationship, Married Life, Anniversary, Nothing goes right, EVERYTHING GOES WRONG, Fluff and Humor, Romance, Awkward Dates, Poor Merlin (Merlin), Arthur is a sweetheart

PART OF MY DOMESTIC A.F. SERIES

Summary:

Merlin is determined to blow Arthur away for their anniversary, but everything that could go wrong, made it their personal goal to do just that.This is just not his night...

(Fic below cut)

It’s almost been a year since Arthur finally made up for his sad excuse of a proposal that hectic Thanksgiving day. Arthur may have beat him to the punch for the proposal, but Merlin is dead set in knocking him out of the park for their anniversary.

He has it all planned out.

They’ll go on their usual walk through the park, but with an added romantic flare, compliment of Merlin’s free time and determination. Then he has reservations at the fancy new restaurant in town that they’ve been wanting to go to. After that, knowing how much Arthur likes sweets but refuses to say, they’ll go to the sweets factory to make handmade sweets together. Bonus: they can make some gifts to give for the holidays that are right around the corner.

Once they’re done there, they’ll go home and Merlin will surprise Arthur with tickets to their favorite band’s concert that’s happening the next town over. A two-parter date will definitely knock Arthur’s proposals on their asses.

The night was gonna be great.

However... Merlin’s luck had other ideas...

xXxXx

The first part of their walk is normal, no decorations no nothing. Around the next bend in the trail is where Merlin began setting them up. He keeps glancing over at Arthur in anticipation. He wants to see Arthur’s reaction as soon as it happens. He’s dying to know how the man will react.

They round the bend and Arthur’s steps slow. The trees along the straight part of the path are lightly sprinkled with fairy lights. It starts with just a few here and there at the beginning, then the trees gradually grow more full of lights the farther down the path they go.

Merlin’s eyes are glued to the blond. The lights twinkle in the man’s eyes, leaving Merlin to gawk at the picturesque sight. Arthur turns to Merlin with a soft look.

“When did they put these here? It’s not Christmas yet,” he says innocently. The little prat knows exactly why the decorations are there.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe they wanted to do it ahead of time this year,” Merlin huffs and turns to walk ahead. Fine, if he wants to play it that way, Merlin will just ignore the lights. Never gets any thanks for things. Why would he expect it now?

Arthur chuckles as he hurries up to walk next to Merlin again. “C’mon sour puss, I was just teasing,” he laughs, grabbing ahold of Merlin’s hand and interlocking their fingers. “How’d you manage all this?”

“I used this thing called a ladder, it helps people reach tall places.” he snarks. Instead of dignifying that comment with a reply, Arthur leans in and kisses his husband. As they kiss, something drips onto Merlin’s cheek. Confused, he pulls away. He swipes at it and it’s only water?

For a split second, he thinks maybe Arthur is crying, but has no idea why. Another drop hits his head, then one dinks the end of Arthur’s nose. Yep, definitely not crying.

That’s their only warning before a sheet of rain starts pouring down on them. The two are caught off guard and run for the gazebo that glows farther down the path. Merlin had also decorated it well, along with the second half of the trail after it. The way he set it up made it seem like the gazebo was in the middle with lights spreading out from there.

“Where’d that come from! There wasn’t a cloud all day!” Merlin whines. His plans for a romantic walk under the stars was ruined! Not only that, but now they were all wet! Should they go change before going to dinner? No, they’ll have to wait until the rain dies down. By then they could be late if they go all the way back home and then backtrack to the restaurant. Merlin’s brain goes in a million directions trying to figure out how to deal with this sudden downpour.

Too distracted to see the slap to the back of the head coming.

“Ow! What was that for!”

“I said your name like five times, Mer lin,” Arthur chastises. “We can just wait here until it dies down.”

“But I got more plans! If we wait for it to lessen up, go home and get dry clothes, and then go, we won’t make it!”

“Then we’ll go drenched.”

“ What !?”

“You heard me, nitwit.”

“But… are you sure? It’ll be uncomfortable to continue all wet like this…” Merlin raises his arms in a gesture showing how his sleeves drip, making him look like a drenched scarecrow.

“You had plans. You went out of your way to get this all set up and we’re going to go through with it. I don’t care if a little rain got in the way.”

Merlin sighs, dropping his arms and letting his head fall onto Arthur’s shoulder. A breeze blew past and it sends a shiver up his back. Arthur wraps his arms around him and they stand there holding each other. The only sound is of the falling rain

xXxXx

After a while, the rain dies down and they’re able to rush back to their car. Good thing it has leather seats, at least Merlin won’t have to hear about Arthur bitching about the material getting wet. Arthur wasn’t even that car savvy, he just liked keeping them in pristine condition like the rest of his things.

Just as Merlin thought, they didn’t have enough time to go back home to change and then go back out to the restaurant. Arthur must’ve read his mind, cause he headed there without a word.

When they get there, the place is bustling with activity. No wonder it’s a good two week wait for reservations. It was quite popular due to it having just opened and Merlin was thanking his lucky stars for being able to squeeze in a reservation.

The hostess flips through the reservations, her lips tightening into a line as she hums.

“I’m sorry, but it seems that your reservation doesn’t exist. Or it may have been written over.”

This just in: Merlin’s stars aren’t the lucky kind.

He should’ve saw this coming. With how the night has been going, he really should’ve saw this coming.

Arthur tries to haggle with the hostess, then moves onto the manager. Merlin can only stand to the side as Arthur bites the employees' heads off. He was looking forward to trying some of their dishes. Glancing over at some of the tables near them sure didn’t help his empty stomach. Was that clam chowder? It looks delicious. Or that steak. Oh, and that baked sweet potato. His stomach protests the teasing.

Sadly, they still couldn’t have dinner there that night, but Arthur did get them a rock solid reservation for a free dinner next week. He even made it a point to watch the manager put it in the logs in big inked letters and underlines just to make double sure. Even took a picture with his phone for evidence.

Sometimes Merlin forgets that Arthur is the son of a big company owner and good at getting his way. Even convincing others that it was their choice from the beginning in most instances.

Once everything is done, they leave to head over to the next thing Merlin had planned. They were a little early, but it shouldn’t change anything.

….Well…

The earliness didn’t change anything, but the candy factory being closed sure did.

Merlin had thought that it’d be less crowded due to the rain. That maybe they’d get to be a little more alone than they would have if it was a busy day. They could even snack on candy while they do it since they missed dinner.

Fate was too busy being a bitch to listen to any of his hopes.

When they pull into the parking lot, it’s completely empty. Merlin’s stomach, his just as empty stomach, drops. The emptiness is replaced by a heavy stone and a knot.

Arthur stops in front of the veranda that shields the wide walkway and entrance. Merlin gets out and goes to the door to see what’s going on.

There’s a paper taped to the inside of the door. It apologizes for the inconvenience and explains that there were complications with the machines, so they’d be closed for the next few days.

Closed.

For the next few days.

The website didn’t mention this at all. Damn thing must be outdated.

Merlin hangs his head. He’s been looking forward to everything planned for today. Yet here he is, standing in front of a closed factory, soaked, hungry, and upset. The only thing keeping him going at this point is the fact that he has one last surprise waiting at home.

At least there’s no way the last one can be ruined. There’s no reservations to be lost, no weather to affect it, and no damn malfunctioning machines to keep them away from it.

He’ll give Arthur the tickets when they get home and Arthur’s smile will make up for the rest of their misgivings throughout the day. It’ll be great. Merlin is putting his foot down, this is going to work. Fuck the weatherman’s forecast, fuck the people who lost his reservation, and fuck the damn machinists for not keeping the factory in shape. He will make this day great if it’s the last thing he does!

xXxXx

When the two arrive home, Merlin rushes into their bedroom before Arthur can even take the keys out of the lock. He blinks after the man in confusion, not knowing what Merlin’s deal was.

Arthur is setting his shoes aside when Merlin comes back.

“I know today kinda went to shit --well, it did go to complete and utter donkey doo-- but I have one more thing for you,” he says before handing the blond a small rectangular box. Arthur snorts at Merlin’s weird phrasing, observing the box that was thrust into his hands.

It looks like it was used to hold a bracelet or something in the past, but it’s way too light to be holding jewelry at the moment.

He opens the box and in side lies two slips of laminated cardstock advertising their favorite band. Two tickets to go see them live in concert. The address says it’s going to be held in the next town over after the holidays.

A moment passes. Arthur just stares at the tickets with an unreadable expression. Merlin is growing more and more anxious about his husband’s reaction. He keeps himself from biting his cuticles as he waits.

Out of nowhere, Arthur bursts into a laughing fit. The anxiety subsides a little. He’s laughing cause he’s happy about the tickets, right?

The blond reaches deeply into his jacket and pulls out a white envelope, then takes two, identical tickets out of it. They’re slightly damp, but undamaged. In fact, they’re even in the same row as the ones Merlin got.

Arthur hands them over for Merlin to see them better. All the while, the man continues to laugh. Laugh like-like Merlin just told the funniest joke ever!

His hands start shaking and the words on the tickets blur. Every plan for the day has failed. The work he put into setting up their walk, the hoops he had to jump through to get the reservations, the thoughtfulness he put into each activity was thrown in the gutter. The garbage-ridden, muddy, flooding gutter. The tickets were his last hope of preserving the day and they failed .

And now…. Now Arthur was laughing at him.

The tear that falls down Merlin’s cheek stops Arthur in his tracks.

“Merlin?” he asks cautiously.

“Every--Everything went to shit, and now you’re laughing at me… I tried so hard to make today fun and great, but I failed and now you’re laughing in my face…” his voice is a little shaky as he speaks, fighting to keep more tears from falling. Add that to the list of things Merlin has failed at doing that night.

Arthur wipes some of Merlin’s tears away with his thumb. “I wasn’t laughing at you . I was laughing because look,” He holds the four tickets next to each other for Merlin to see, “We know each other so well that not only did we get the same gifts, but out of the whole concert hall, we chose the same row. They’re practically right next to each other.”

Merlin sniffles. “Yeah, that is kinda crazy,” he admits.

“You know what, let’s get out of these ridiculous clothes. How’s a hot shower sound? I’m freezing, I know you probably are.” WIth that, he sets the tickets down on the hall table and ushers Merlin up to their ensuite bathroom.

One of the perks and deciding factors when they bought the house was the large bathroom connected to the master bedroom. The tub was equipped with jacuzzi add ons, the sink had plenty of counter space, and the shower fit both of them .

All factors they used to their advantage quite frequently and in many ways. That night being one of the instances where they used them all…

The day might have been shot, but at least it ended with a good bang. Quite several, actually.

[actress4him]

I posted 658 times in 2021

274 posts created (42%)

384 posts reblogged (58%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.4 posts.

I added 587 tags in 2021

#ask game - 106 posts

#ask response - 94 posts

#whump - 84 posts

#whump writing - 64 posts

#anonymous - 51 posts

#original fiction - 40 posts

#thanks for the ask! - 39 posts

#oc ask game - 37 posts

#lady whump - 36 posts

#whump blog - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 105 characters

#someone suggest what kind of creature i’d be because i’m sadly lacking in knowledge of mythical creatures

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Voltron Fic Masterlist

Abyss (AO3)

Okay, breathe. Just breathe. Gotta keep breathing. It's not like this is the first time I've been locked in a dark room. It was the first time that it had been quite this dark, and the first time that it happened on an alien planet with a gaping hole in his leg, but that was beside the point.

OR

An injured Keith is imprisoned by Galra-hating aliens, but the flashbacks to his childhood are the worst part.

Abyss Moodboard

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Keith Kogane and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad October (AO3) (Tumblr)

Whumptober 2020, featuring one of my favorite whumpees, Keith. Each chapter stands alone and varies in length, intensity, and type of whump. Some have open endings, others happy or at least hopeful. At least a couple are strictly emotional whump. Look at the warnings at the beginning of each chapter to decide which ones are for you!

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Paper Angels (AO3)

Somebody had picked his wish. Somebody, some random stranger, had seen that a teenage foster kid wanted a pair of Jordans, and decided to spend their own money to buy them for him.

It didn’t make sense. Nothing in his six years of being in the foster system had proved to him that there were people out there who would do such a thing.

But someone had. And he was getting Jordans for Christmas.

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Abandoned (AO3)

“Enough!” Allura’s voice rang out over everyone else. “Perhaps we cannot prove his true motives, but one thing is certain, he cannot be trusted. Coran, Lance, escort him downstairs to a cell. We will decide what to do with him at a later date.”

Two Whumptober fics that go together, posted separately. How the Galra reveal could have gone, if Allura and the team had reacted much worse.

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Senseless (AO3)

“I wonder what he’d think,” the lieutenant began, as if reading her thoughts, “if he knew you were here. If he realized that you had the power to make this stop, that all of this pain was your fault.”

Pidge didn’t want to be tortured. She wanted to watch Keith be tortured even less. Two Whumptober fics that go together, posted separately.

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I Don’t Want to Be Alone (AO3) (Tumblr - part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4)

So, yeah. He was dying. That was a thing. Even if the other Paladins could find him and get to him, they probably wouldn’t be quick enough, not with the way he was losing blood.

Keith and Red crash land in the middle of a battle, and neither of them may ever be the same. A crowd-favorite Whumptober fic, now with a brand new continuation!!

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Black, Yellow, Blue, Green, Orange, Pink...Red

Keith returns from the Blades not quite the same as he used to be.

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Bad Things Happen Bingo (AO3)

Pidge -  Caught in a Snare

Keith - Strapped to an Operating Table | Starvation | Please Don’t Leave Me | Impaled Chest

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Whump Drabbles

Keith - I’ll Just Slow You Down | Half-breed | I’ve Got You | Part 2 | Dizzy | I’ll Do Better | You Need to Eat | Branding | Chemical Burns | Lava | Hot Stones

Pidge - Please Don’t Hurt Me | Part 2 | I Never Cry

Lance - Let Me See That Smile | I’ve Got You | I Don’t Need to Stand

Shiro - Don’t Worry About Me

61 notes • Posted 2021-06-12 20:30:14 GMT

#4

Hello, whump community!

I’m actress. I don’t have a cute online nickname, so I figure it’s easiest to just go by my username ha. Though @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi named me Jada in her “guess my name” game a while back, so feel free to call me that if you’d rather!

I’ve been stalking whump blogs for a while now, and have thought about introducing myself a few times. However, my blog isn’t exactly a ‘whump blog’...it’s a fandom/writing blog that happens to have a good bit of whump. Also, for the last couple of years, all of my writing has been fanfiction. Whumpy fanfiction, yes, but fanfics don’t seem to be a big thing for people to introduce themselves for.

Anyway, May is approaching, and I’m actually finally branching back into original content for the first time in many years to write some drabbles for Whumpay, so I figured this was the perfect time to finally say hello. Maybe if I get more whump followers, I will actually start reblogging more whump content, too!

There are only a few original content series on here that I’ve read completely through, and those are Raccoon’s Brody and Teddy, @whump-me-all-night-long ‘s Jewelry Box, and @whumpwillow ‘s Hazeshift. However, I also enjoy reading bits and pieces from @spookyboywhump, @milk-carton-whump, and @brutal-nemesis . I also need to shout out @the-wandering-whumper and @whump-side for their beautiful work!

There aren’t very many types of whump that I don’t enjoy. I don’t have any triggers, and my only squicks are eye whump, excessive gore, and explicit NSFW. I don’t particularly enjoy sickfics, unless it’s combined with injury or enough angst.

Favorite types include captivity whump, restraints, muzzles and gags, pretty much anything where a strong/stoic character is made completely helpless. :) :) I tend towards whump with a whumper, but natural disasters and collapsed buildings are fantastic, too. I do write lady whump sometimes, but I will be sure to tag properly when I do. Mostly I love mixing my whump, no matter what kind, with lots of emotional angst.

Thanks for reading! I look forward to hopefully getting to know y’all better!

62 notes • Posted 2021-04-28 19:05:55 GMT

#3

Happy International Dance Day!

143 notes • Posted 2021-05-01 18:14:55 GMT

#2

Whumpers be like...

370 notes • Posted 2021-06-26 02:34:32 GMT

#1

I think everyone should know about the website old-games.com.

PC games were a huge part of my childhood, and recently I’ve been wishing my kids could have that same experience. All you can find is apps, and they all seem so simplistic to me. We discovered this site, where you can pay something like $8 for a day of downloads or $12 for a month, and they have tons of old games from the 90s and 00s on there that are fixed to work on modern versions of Windows!

My sisters and I have been reliving our childhood memories, and my kids have been having a blast making new ones!

516 notes • Posted 2021-08-29 21:45:58 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[scullys-right-eyebrow-txf]

Fox Mulder vs. Questionable Holiday Movies

Warning: Pure Fluff. Christmas Fluff. Christmas Kidfic Fluff

Tagging @today-in-fic

Night 1

 Physically and emotionally exhausted, Dana Scully pulled her aching body through the front door of her apartment and promptly tripped over a large toy dump truck.

 “Dammit,” she whispered as she regained her footing and kicked the row of trucks out of her path before resuming her trek down the hallway.

 It was 1am, three days before Christmas, and Scully was finally off work. After a week of late nights at the hospital, she was done until after the holidays and she only wanted to celebrate with eight full hours of sleep.

 She stumbled into the bathroom and stripped off her scrubs before stepping into the shower to wash away the hospital odor, and then pulled on the clean pajamas that Mulder had set out for her. (Sleeping naked had stopped becoming an option once William began to walk and had a tendency to show up in their bedroom at daybreak.)

 Speaking of the little 4 year old bed-hog, he was planted firmly on her side of the mattress when she made it into the bedroom. Scully softly pushed William to the middle of the bed toward Mulder and climbed in tiredly beside her boys.

“Hmm, Mommy?” the child said, half awake.

 “Hey baby, what are you doing here?” Scully asked, lovingly running her fingers through her son’s hair.

 “I had a dream,” he mumbled into the pillow.

 “I’m sorry. Do you feel better now? Do you want me to take you back to your room?”

 “No, Mommy, Santa’s in there,” William said, curling into his mother’s body.

 “What?” Scully whispered in confusion.

 “Shhh, Scully. Just let him stay here tonight,” Mulder said, reaching out blindly to stroke her arm, which he missed entirely and ended up pawing at her face.

 She swatted his hand away. “Okay, okay,” she answered, wrapping her arm around her son and melting into her pillow, too tired to argue with either of them.

 *********************************

 “Hey, Mulder, I’ve got a question,” Scully said the next morning as she sipped her coffee while watching Mulder and William pick up the remnants of the previous night’s toy explosion.

 “And what would that be?” he asked from his place on the floor.

 “Why is Will suddenly afraid of Santa Claus?”

 “He isn’t afraid of Santa. It was just one bad dream, isn’t that right, buddy?” he directed to his son.

 “Nope, I don’t like Santa anymore. He’s scary, like in the movie,” William stated as he became distracted and began playing with his toys rather than cleaning them up.

 “Mulder, what movie is he talking about?” Scully questioned her husband.

 He sighed heavily and placed himself next to her on the couch to confess. “It’s just this campy old movie from the 60’s that we watched last night called ‘Santa Claus vs the Devil.’ And don’t give me that look, Scully. It’s not scary and Santa is the hero! And it’s just so bad that it’s hilarious.”

 “Well apparently Will didn’t think it was hilarious. He wouldn’t even go into his room until I hid his big stuffed Santa. And he loves that thing!” she said in exasperation.

 “I guess he projected the creepiness of the devil onto Santa. Because as I said before, Santa comes off very well in this movie,” Mulder explained. “Don’t worry Scully, all we have to do is get him excited about Christmas and he’ll snap out of it.

 “You better hope that that he snaps out of it soon. We’re meeting Mom at the mall at 6:00 so he can get his picture taken with the big guy.”

 “He’ll be fine,” Mulder said, reaching out to give Scully a quick peck on the lips. “The little guy has been so excited to tell Santa all about the train set he wants for Christmas. It will be great, I promise.”

 Night 2

 “That was a disaster,” Scully groaned, collapsing beside Mulder on the bed, both still fully clothed.

 “I’m sorry, Scully. I really thought he would be okay,” Mulder said, his words muffled by the pillow that his face was buried in.

 The situation had actually been far from okay. It had started out well enough. William had been so distracted by his excitement over seeing his grandmother that he didn’t even realize why they were waiting in line. He was happy enough to receive little candy canes from the elves traversing the line in order to keep the waiting children content, but then he realized what he was waiting for. Beginning to panic, Will demanded to be picked up by his father and that only made things worse because then he could see the man himself, Santa Claus.

 It started as small whimpers. The parents around them gave Mulder and Scully sympathetic looks, but then came the loud cries that evolved into screaming and the looks became much less sympathetic and much more judgmental.

 All it took was one glance between the partners and they were heading toward the exit, William screaming the whole way.

 “At least he fell asleep in the car and was too out of it to realize that we put him in his own bed,” Scully murmured.

 Right at that moment there was a loud knock on the bedroom door.

 “You just had to say something, didn’t you?” Mulder asked, giving her a side eyed glance.

 “Mommy? Daddy?” came a sweet little voice from the other side of the door.

 “You can come in, baby,” Scully said, sitting up resignedly.

 Will threw open the door and made a bee line for the bed, landing squarely in his mother’s arms.

 “I want to sleep with you tonight,” he told his parents. “Please Mommy.”

 Scully looked at Mulder before turning her eyes upon that sad little face that at the moment looked just like his father’s. She couldn’t say no to either of them.

 “Just tonight, sweetie,” she said, brushing his hair off his forehead.

 William gratefully burrowed under the cover between his parents and Mulder reached out to rub his arm affectionately.

 “You know this want be just tonight, right?” he asked his wife.

 Scully sighed and flopped back down on the mattress. “We’ll worry about it tomorrow.”

 **********************************

 The little family of three huddled around the kitchen counter. It was Christmas Eve and they were making a large batch of sugar cookies, as had become their tradition. The dough was mixed and spread out and Mulder and Scully were helping William use the cookie cutters. There was a combination of shapes such as wreaths, bells, and Christmas trees, but there was one that was being conspicuously avoided by the child.

 “Hey Will, let’s do this one next,” Mulder said, showing the little boy the cookie cutter shapely roughly like Santa.

 “No, Daddy!”

 “Come on, Will. We’ve got plenty of red frosting that we need to use up,” Mulder tried to reason with the child.

 “Santa is not welcome here,” William stated sternly before turning back to his work.

 Mulder and Scully gave each other incredulous looks over his head, a whole conversation with only their eyes. A conversation that included thoughts such as, “Who knew a miracle baby could be such an ungrateful troublemaker,” and “We should just return all his gifts to the store.”

 “Well William, if you feel that way, then I guess you shouldn’t be expecting any gifts tomorrow morning,” Scully said.

 The boy only shrugged in response, but his parents could see the nervousness flit across his face.

 Night 3

 “It’s time for bed, Will,” Mulder said as he turned off the cartoon on the TV much to the dismay of the child.

 “Just one more show, Daddy, please.”

 “No go, buddy. It’s already past your bedtime,” Mulder said, shuffling William toward his room.

 “But…but,” he tried to argue bravely, despite the fact that his chin was trembling.

 “But what?” Scully asked, still a little peeved after the incident that afternoon.

 “But you know who comes tonight. I’m scared, Mommy.”

 And just like that, Scully’s resolve crumbled. She crouched down to William’s level. “Baby, it’s okay to be scared, but you know that Mommy and Daddy would never let anyone come in who was dangerous. We trust Santa, and you trust us, right?”

 Will nodded his head, his eyes on the floor. “Do you think Santa will still bring me a present after what I said about him?” he asked sadly.

 Scully kissed his head, “I think he might do just that. We’ll let you sleep with us one more night so you won’t be scared but tomorrow it’s back to your own bed. Deal?”

 “Yep,” he said happily.

 “You go on and get in the bed while Daddy and I turn out the lights, okay?”

 “Don’t forget to put out some milk and cookies for Santa!” Will yelled over his shoulder as he sprinted for his parent’s bedroom.

 “You’re such a softie,” Mulder said as he and Scully began to quietly pull out the hidden presents and place them under the tree.

 “I blame you. Where do you think he got those puppy dog eyes?” she asked. “Also, this is all your fault. All for some damn movie. And I was going to give you an early Christmas present,” she said with a raised eyebrow.

 “Uh…,” he could only reply. Between her work schedule and their uninvited visitor, it had been over a week and he was desperately in need of that Christmas present.

 “But instead we have a munchkin in our bed. Pity,” she said teasingly.

 “Oh, Scully,” Mulder groaned. “I’m sorry. I’ve never been sorrier in my life. Tomorrow that kid is out!”

 **************************

 “Mommy! Daddy! Santa came!!!” Will yelled, jumping on their bed way too early.

 An hour later, Mulder and Scully were surrounded by wrapping paper and one hyper child.  

 “I can’t believe that he brought me a train set. I didn’t even get to tell him that’s what I wanted! And legos! And a new truck!” William didn’t know what to play with first. He simple ran from one toy to another excitedly. “I love Santa!” he exclaimed victoriously.

 Mulder and Scully watched from their place on the couch and laughed at their son’s sudden change of heart.

 “Will, buddy, I know you’re happy but you need to settle down or you’ll wear yourself out,” Mulder said as the boy sprinted to another corner of the room.

 “That wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” Scully whispered, cuddling close to Mulder. “He might need a nice long nap before we head over to Mom’s and that would give me an opportunity to give you your Christmas present,” she said, trailing a hand up his thigh.

 Mulder let out a ragged breath, “You know what, Will? Just keep having fun.”

 “Yeah!,” Will yelled. “Best Christmas ever!”

 “Best Christmas ever,” Mulder said, kissing Scully in a way she wouldn’t soon forget.

 ***************************

 Four months later

 “Daddy! Mommy! Open up,” the little voice called through the locked door.

 “No,” Scully whimpered, her head falling back on the pillows.

 Mulder’s head landed on her chest where he had previously been trying to unbutton her blouse with his teeth.

 “What is it, William?” he asked.

 “I need you,” Will answered urgently.

 Scully sighed and pulled herself up. She opened the door and William burst through, running to hug her.

 “What’s wrong, Sweetie?”

 “I had a nightmare. It was the Easter Bunny. He’s scary,” Will said, burying his face in her shoulder.

 Scully held her son tightly and turned her accusing eyes on her husband.

 “I didn’t know that he had come into the room, Scully, I swear,” Mulder said, his hands up in submission. “ I was just watching this movie ‘Donnie Darko.’”

 “And it has a scary bunny?” she asked, carrying their son to the bed.

 “I didn’t know he was watching, Scully. I swear, I didn’t know…”

 Night 1

 The End