#i have ADHD and it's 5:30 in the morning and my ass is NOT sleeping

[twerkyvulture]

we know that the King of All Cosmos looked just like a Little Guy in his youth, just like The Prince does now, so i pose the following to you: has anyone drawn a design for what The Prince (or any of the other cousins/little guys!) would look like as colossal chad-ified version of themselves

[graychrissy]

🌹VOID CHART PROGRESS + success🌹

I have finally decided to stop being a puss- and lazy ass,just because of ADHD and I will enter void.

I will be using lucid dreaming method because I had lucid dream few times before so and I even entered void but I thought I'm dreaming so I didn't affirm,so it help living in the end knowing I have lucid dream before.

Routine

• Listen to subliminal with isochronic tones 30-60 mins in the morning and 1 hour at night.

• Using askfirmations for 30 mins.

• psych-k 3 or more session of 10 mins.

• living in the end.

Progress chart

23/11/23 : Only listen to the subliminal with isochronic tones for 1 hour. •{I tried sleep paralysis and set my alarm around 5 hours, sadly when I woke up I didn't remember any dream,when tried inducing sleep paralysis I got scared so I feel asleep withe the intent to see a vivid dream and I succeeded but I wasn't lucid.}

24/11/1/23 : listened sub for 1 hour 30 minutes in morning,forgot to affirm,used subliminal for 30 mins and used adambja's affirmation tapes 20 mins. •{Ok guys,I have dropped the plan to use subliminals my ears hurt,so one of my friend shared me @adambja tapes,I only listen 2 times while doing psych-k 10 minutes each side.}

•••••••••••••••••••••••

New Routine

• Use affirmation tapes 2 times in the morning,2 times in afternoon,2 times in evening,2 times before going to bed.

• askfirmation "Why do I always lucid dream?"

• psych-k while listening to the tape.

•••••••••••••••••••••• Progress chart

25/11/23 : listen 7 times while doing psych-k.

•{So I had a vivid dream,and I was about to become aware but since it was already morning my neighbours were being loud and i woke up.}

26/11/23 : listen for 38 minutes and include a new method this one found it on @voidprincessblog lucid dream guide.

•{Didn't had any dream,but then I woke up around 5 and fall asleep with the intention to dream and I had a pretty normal dream nothing weird and I remembered a little and lastnight tried the new four fold breath method but failed I was too sleepy.}

27/11/23 : Listen ? times,affirmed and did the breath method.

•{I change my listening time, because I get really bored while listening the tape for 1 hour And I remembered TODAY that I haven't affirmed , I literally forgot about it😐,so today I affirmed just a little though. Also didn't had any lucid dream but after doing the breath work,I was trying to sleep and I don't know why but I felt like I'm dying,and for few seconds I think I was in void but I woke myself up.}

28/11/23 : didn't listen to the tapes but did breath work.

•{So I took a nap did the breath work and again the weird feeling as I was trying to fall asleep. Not much result,I don't ev n remember if I dreamed.}

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•° So guys,my desperation is higher then mountain Everest,and bcz I was not getting too much success from the tape to get rid of all the limiting beliefs neither it was helping with my anxiety😭. So I decided to use a lucid dream sigil as well😐.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

29/11/23 : Listened to the tape,used @charmedreincarnation reverse psychology method while vaunting and it's quite similar to askfirmation as you are questioning your amazing ability to lucid dream or manifest and the practice setting intentions.

•{So I've been noticing something,last time when I did psych-k was on the 2nd day of listening to Adambja's tape and I almost lucid dream,but these day I don't even remember my dream🤡 I guess gotta start doing it.}

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

•(As y'all know I didn't listen the tape on 28 and I was feeling so bad like soooooo bad the whole day along with that I had to to college to get my ID,but my anxious self. Didn't go today and I feel like hitting myself,I wanted to go with my friend Mac but she said she'll go on 30 so I was also thinking to go with her,but damn her boyfriend got it for her🤡😭.)

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

30/11/23 : Listen to Slade's void and lucid dreaming sub.

•{Yesterday on 29th I listen to the tapes,and today morning I was feeling less stress no nervousness not like sweating from anxiety like I used to feel if I had to go outside,also didn't lucid dream}

1/12/23 : Listened to tapes 1 time, and Slade's lucid dreaming sub.

•{ I skipped again yesterday (30 th),but I did use Slade's lucid dreaming sub,and void sub(had a good experience),so I had a weird vivid dream today morning and I think I will able to lucid dream very soon}

New routine (sorry I can't control myself😭)

• Listen to Adambja's tape while doing Psych k.

• Listen to Slade's lucid dream subliminal.

• Do distraction method.

Progress chart continues

2/12/23 : Listen to tape one time only and use Slade's dreamworld and ETA subliminal.

•{I had 2 weird dreams, I can't remember them properly but before I woke up,I remember i was talking about lucid dreaming in my dream}

•(I did the distraction method last night and y'all I'm shooketh again,this haven't happen before,so lastnight I almost enter void within 20 mins,the experience was something I never had,as y'all know we shouldn't pay attention to our 3d or body,I did exactly that MONTHS ago when I was being a procrastinator and being lazy,but at that time I use to focus my body alot so I used to feel itchy alot,but this 2 days I didn't felt a thing,and last night was something I felt my body melting,and it felt too good that even when I wanted to stop I kept going,it felt just sooo good)

3/12/23: Listened to the tape 1 hour,and used subs with isochronic tones.

•{so last night that's 2nd December,I forgot to listen to the tapes but I used the subliminals, but sadly I don't remember my dream but atleast I dreamt 🤭,I wasn't able to do the distraction method, because my pregnant dog was being whiny and wanted to cuddle with me😭,so I didn't do it)

Edited : I remember the dream,it was something about waiting room🤯, bro

4/12/23: Didn't use the tape,fall asleep while listening lucid dreaming sub.

•{I had 2 really vivid weird dream,I swear I was in void too but from there I went to another dream}

5/12/23: Didn't use the subliminals nor the tape.

•{ I had an exam today,so I just listen ,glosygirl's exam sub overnight🥲,but I actually had vivid dreams,sadly I forgot to write it down in my dream journal}

•••••••••••••••••••••••

💀Made a new routine

•••••••••••••••••••••••

Progress chart continues

6/12/23: listen to the tape for 30 minutes while doing psych-k,I was affirming along and before going to bed listen to Slade's LD sub.

•{ I had a pretty uncomfortable dream I don't even want to remember}

7/12/23: I skipped the tapes again because of exams,but used the subliminal.

•{I don't really remember what happened honestly I recalled it but I forgot again}

8/12/23: Skipped again 💀 but used the tape.

•{Anyways I had a pretty weird dream and had an awakening but I was gonna get lucid}

Note: from 6 to 8 it's not too accurate because I forgot to update due to exams but don't worry it's no different.

9/12/23: Listen to the tape and slade sub.

•{almost had a lucid dream again}

10/12/23-15/12/23: I listen to the tape only few times and that's for my exams.

•{So I barely listen to the tape but my dreams are becoming vivid everyday and I always almost become lucid but always get woken up by my parents also a thing I noticed is that,I had to wake up in between and after that sleep with the intention to dream then only I remember my dream}

16/12/23: Listen to to the tape at night and used the LD sub.

•{I just remembered my dream and I also tried entering void through the basic method I got super close but my dogs start barking}

17/12/23: Listen to the subliminal

•{I didn't got any good sleep because of my dogs }

18/12/23-24/12/23: I'm still procrastinating and had a mental breakdown in between but I also tap in the void which I will count as success.

I will be more focus on tapping in the void rather then LD so I created a new routine for myself.

25/13/23-31/12/23: I stopped to take a break.

Since it's new year and I want to start of fresh I'm back and will mostly stay focus on waking up in void and LD.

New routine (smiling in embarrassment)

I will follow my own living in the end challenge but I modified it. After I saw success story from a blogger Doona and mention about morphic field I'm going to use the once she recommended and along with it I will start using void and LD subliminals.

1/01/24: I started using morphic fields and then then LD subliminal.

•{ I have multiple vivid dreams and I got so many chances to be lucid}

2/01/24: done following the routine.

•{Got some weird af dream again very vivid}

3/01/24: Done listening the subs and tape.

•{Had super vivid dreams)

4/01/24: Done listening.

•{Umm guess who enter void through LD meeeee😭☝️}

YK what I'll make another progress chart I haven't manifested anything yet. I will yeet this app for few days.

[wqnwoos]

im not the same anon as earlier but help ur grades are amazing 😭😭 im sitting psych and english in october and can i ask what ur study schedule or method is like? how early did u start studying + what did you do?

HII thank you soo much!! i worked my arse off for those stupid grades 😭 i’ll put the tips under a cut, i really hope they help, and good luck for october!! u got this <3

find out what time u study best at!! i somehow trained myself to become a morning person (naturally i am nocturnal LMFAO) but during study season i usually wake up 4-5:30 or something. it feels so much better getting to 10am and u have the whole day in front of u and you’ve done most of the things u need to do, but that’s just me!! i have friends who worked best from like 11pm - 4 am

pomodoro technique — excellent for my adhd ass brain. i genuinely thought this technique would never work for me, avoided it like the plague, and then used it during a study group session w friends and Love it. (i use the flora app btw!! i feel too bad to kill the little plant so i always study to the end 😭) i recommend the usual 25 mins, 5 min break but it’s up to u <3

FLASHCARDS!!!!! i cannot stress this enough flashcards genuinely saved my ARSEEE especially for psychology!! i always phrase mine like a question, so that if you get something similar in the exam it kind of jogs your memory? anyway. for psych i do not recommend remaking notes, i went straight from class notes and the textbook to flashcards, and repeated them All The Time

past paper questions!!!!! unfortunately the education system is fucked and doesn’t want us to learn for the sake of learning, they want us to be parrots so!!! really recommend past paper questions.

for english literature (i’m assuming you’re taking literature and not language?? idk anything about language past gcse level i’m sorry 😭), i wouldn’t recommend writing out essay after essay; plan a bunch of past papers, write maybe one paragraph per past paper question. ummm idk if u guys have to include context and critical interpretations because i believe that differs with exam board, but we did, and i used flashcards for those too!! (also. please make sure u know the text 😭 even vaguely knowing quotes helps so much bc searching for them in the exam takes so much time)

for english my friends and i also used to time ourselves — fifteen minutes per paragraph so that you weren’t going on too long about one point, and you weren’t wasting all your time on one question.

study groups!! this is ONLY if u work well with other people if u know ur gonna get distracted then please don’t do all the time 😭 also for things like english study groups r sooo helpful because a lot of the time, other people will bring points to the table that u have never thought of (and u can do the same for them!!)

EAT WELL!!!! SLEEP WELL!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m so serious . if u don’t do this then nothing will go well. idgaf what time u sleep because maybe you’re more productive at 1am - 4am, but make sure ur getting ENOUGH sleep. and don’t skip meals. pleaaaaseee don’t skip meals.

i also used to use a lot of mindmaps for english, for themes / characters / context!!

for psych i also used to do blurting — writing as much as i know about one topic, going back and adding everything j missed in a different colour <3

OKAY that is allllll i can think of right now!! if u need anything else pls slide into my dms or jump back into my inbox i am happy to help !!! good luck with exams bb i know ur gonna crush them 💗💗💗

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 596

When I took my last trip, which was a 4-5 hour flight, I had not bought anything with me that I could easily do on the plane. This made my flight very painful to do, both ways. So when I packed for this past trip, I took care to bring a larger shoulder bag, while packing my usual smaller one in the suitcase. I then added a Sudoku book, and broke my personal rule around the use of my Switch, and bought the Switch with me.

However, I didn’t take a few things into account.

First, is that my flight going to Florida was at 6 a.m., meaning I had gotten up at 3:15 in the morning in order to have enough time to get to the airport and make it through security. Anyone who knows me, knows that unless I have a super busy day (such as going around an amusement park for 8 hours), I am not going to bed by 9. I was lucky I was able to kick my ass into bed (though not asleep) by 10:30 that previous night.

Secondly, this meant that I was running on maybe 4 hours of sleep by the time we got on the plane.

And thirdly, because of the timing, it meant that I hadn’t taken my ADHD meds yet. The type of medication I use are stimulants, which makes sleeping on purpose slightly more difficult, and makes it less likely I’ll fall asleep due to lack of stimulation (such as doing boring admin work or sitting on a plane doing nothing).

Coupled by the fact the flight was slightly under 3 hours in length, it meant that not only did I fall asleep on the plane, but by the time I woke up, the flight was almost over. This made all my preparations for going on the flight completely useless.

Though I did end up playing on the Switch on the flight back, that would later come back to bite me in the ass.

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Adderall

So, a week and a half ago I FINALLY got my adult ADHD diagnosis and I finally got on Adderall. What is to follow is personal and only read if your interested, otherwise, have a nice day. 

(I got diagnosed with a bunch of other scary shit but I been knew all of it and it tracks for the trauma I’ve been through so I wasn’t surprised) 

Anyway, so my psychiatrist has me on a small 5 mg a day dose that I take in the morning. 

So before Adderall, here was my day-

Wake up at 8, get my daughter to school by 8:20-8:30, come home and have a 50/50 chance of going back to sleep till 11 or noon or sit on the couch in a daze/heavy mental fog until about noon or 1pm. By 3, I realize I have half an hour before my kid get’s home from school and shit, I need to do something with my day before my husband harps on me for being a lazy slob sitting on my ass on the couch all day and doing jack squat (hello executive dysfunction) and by 4, my daughter is off the bus, I gotta get something ready for dinner, eat between 5:30-7 AND THEN my brain wakes up. At 8pm my mental fog clears, I have energy, I can write coherantly and can do things and I’ve gained momentum. 

Problem was- I have to go to sleep by 9-10pm so I can wake up at 8 the next morning. 

My natural circadian rhythm is being awake from noon to 3-4am and then sleep the rest of the time. and my “Sweet spot” for getting stuff done, house chores, writing, all of that happens between 10pm-3am. Which is impossible for me to achieve and still be a “normal functional adult”. 

So in order to “function” on my husband���s and my daughter’s life schedule I have to be very, very heavily medicated to go to sleep just as my brain is waking up and building up steam and momentum. So much so that if I am not in bed by the time my meds hit, I will pass out wherever I am. And I take doses that would put any other person into a coma for at least three days, but I take it on a nightly basis and it STILL takes an hour to an hour and a half to finally succumb to the sleep. (if anyone wants to know exactly what I take and in what doses, let me know)

So now that I’ve been on Adderall for a week- here how it has drastically changed my life. 

Wake up at 8, take Adderall by 8:15, I fully wake up but 8:30-8:35 and I’m alert and the fog clears by 8:50 and by 9am, I’m doing house chores and writing and getting shit done and getting things taken care of and it’s great, a process that normally takes most of my day is now shortened down to barely an hour, 45 minutes. 

Here’s where it sucks. 

Adderall, for me, wears off at 3pm. Normally when I would be “waking up” my brain is wearing down and shutting down and by 4 I am STRUGGLING. just trying to make dinner and trying to jump start my system and trying to recapture that momentum. 

By 6-7pm I get very aggrivated and very frustrated with myself because there’s still more shit I want to do but the go juice is empty and I can not make myself do much of anything. I try to focus on something that usually soothes me- like knitting or crocheting or writing or refilling my many fountain pens. Nope- all those tasks that once brought me joy, get on my nerves, make me frustrated and aggrivated because I can’t fucking FOCUS ON JACK SHIT. 

And by 8, my brain and my body are BEGGING, and I mean BEGGING, PLEADING, throwing a tantrum to go to sleep. I went to bed at 7:30pm because I was especially tired and very cranky bitchy the other night and was out by 8:15 and woke up at 8 feeling great and then proceeded to have a very nice rest of my day. 

I did not expect myself to get so ANGRY when the Adderall wears off. 

Is this normal? Is the anger part normal for anyone else? Like I’m partially afraid that if I tell my psychiatrist that I get HANGRY but without the hunger part when it wears off, she’ll pull me off of it completely and I don’t want that. I went through hell just getting this diagnosis and it’s helping but not enough. I’m supposed to meet with her again in a month. We’ll see how it goes from there. 

[firepiplup]

How do i say no to people

You know that analogy about people with adhd having spoons for energy management or whatever? My spoons are on backorder from like 2 months ago and more got on that list now

The problem is that all of the things I'm being asked to do are Very Important Things

I have to feed my diabetic cat. This in itself is not a problem, however she's needs to eat at a specific time (12 hour spacing) and my current sleeping situation along with work do not allow this to happen consistently. Currently trying for 7:30, we'll see how it goes

My apartment has bedbugs, and there's no way in fucking hell I'm sleeping on my living room floor until my scumlord landlord actually gets the guy to come back to spray because he did spray but I'm still seeing adults and i "need to give the spray time to work" it's been fucking 2 weeks i don't know how is supposed to work but i feel like after 2 weeks whatever spray you did isn't going to get any stronger i just want to sleep in my own bed it's been like this since fucking March

With that part explained, I'm sleeping at my mom's house on the other side of town. This in itself isn't much of a problem, however as "payment" i have to take care of her dog in the morning, to practice because she's going on a week long vacation in October and none of her dogs can just be taken care of like normal dogs. He needs to wear a diaper to leave the room while i pick up his shit and soiled weewee pad and mop the floor, give him some time to be out of his room, and then feed him his special food mix. The other dog has allergies and probably will get into something he shouldn't, then not use the bathroom outside even though he literally has a doggy door that has constant access to the backyard. Neither dog get along with each other, which is why they are separated. Thank fuck the cat is just normal, this is why i prefer them

Now with THAT explained, it's difficult to take care of my own cat on time in the morning. But as the legendary Billy Mays says: But wait, there's more!

I just got rehired at my job working in a local understaffed pizzeria. My friend, ego also works there, is on vacation (good for her, she deserves it, absolutely no negativity towards her) so i have acquired her hours. So i now work 6 days a week, kinda sorta clopen but i guess it's more of opelose. Or a combination of both? Idk. The point here is, I'm then dealing with essentially running half a restaurant alone 6 days a week, with it not being 7 purely because the owner himself ALSO has the same work schedule as far as I'm aware, and wanted to give himself a day off, and since we are so understaffed it would be impossible unless we literally closed. My tasks include answering the phone, washing dishes, making sandwiches, making dinners, folding pizza boxes, and cleaning the tables/equipment on that side of the restaurant. So essentially everything except making pizzas, cleaning the pizza area, mopping in general, and driving. We generally close at 9, 10 on Friday and Saturday. Guess who was explicitly rehired to close those days? Guess how that's going to work with me having to be home around 7:30 to take care of my own cat? I have no idea either. It's only for about 3 weeks, but my mom, whom i have not asked for any additional help with anything, won't feed the cat while i have work, even though there isn't a guarantee that i can leave on time to THEN RETURN to close, because again I'm the only one on that side of the building. I understand the fear of the bedbugs, so that's probably it, but it still fucking sucks because the kitchen is on the other side of the apartment from the bedroom and there is literally no reason to go there to feed her. But i get it

Did we get to where i can do my own ADLs? Of course not. My neighbor is in the hospital, and her husband is blind. This is a new development that was only discovered an hour before starting this post (about 3:30 am for me). She's ok, it's for mental health reasons, and that's her own business about that. Her husband being blind is not a new development however. And he needs help taking care of the pets, specifically the birds. Which is fine, they just also need to eat on their own schedule. 8am, around lunchtime, and 8pm. Guess who's still at work? One of the birds is special needs because her beak got injured and needs to be essentially spoon fed. Which the blind husband can't do at all. Fairly simple task, but just adding to my obligations that are Very Important because they involve making sure things don't starve to death while my neighbor is in Crisis

Ok let's see, that's 4 Very Important Tasks/Obligations, and only one was originally my own voluntary one. Still not at taking care of myself yet, but i have my shelter, i have my job ("part time" minimum wage, hurray. Part time because even with me being there 6 fucking days a week open to close it still isn't technically enough hours for the state to recognize it as full time), and I'm taking care of *counting* about 8 pets for the next week. Will unemployment give me my money that I've been claiming since March? No? Will they let me claim with my new working hours that makes that while process even harder? Technically but it'll take over an hour for it to process and it doesn't even do that in the end? Well fuck, guess i have to wait to get paid on the books in cash and beg for a hand written paystub and have my hours worked written down. Glad i earned $100 this week, i hope now that my hours have increased i get some more

Next on the list, appointments. Because I'm a dumbass who can't remember shit if it isn't consistently recurring, i overbooked myself for next week. My much needed therapy appointment with my therapist that I've only met once and is the replacement for my much better therapist that i actually had a relationship with is supposed to have a session with me on Tuesday. Will i remember to do it this time? Possibly since i actually remembered it's on Tuesday. Will she send me the reminder text with the zoom link? Probably not. Wednesday, my one day off, thank fuck for that, is the main problem with the scheduling. My med appointment is for 11:30. Cool, can do. Driving lesson at 12. Oh, that's a little close, but i can manage that probably. I only average 1 lesson per year and a half, so it's fine, it's "healthy" to be nervous about operating a death machine powered by explosions. Have to go to social services to pick up, or attempt to, a new food stamps card. They probably close at 5, and add a Non Driver, i need to rely on someone to take me. The sooner the better, but it can't be during the lesson. Don't forget to take care of the creatures before and during all of this.

Ok. Great. There's an hour before work. Time to shower, because it's so fucking hot I'll be sweating like crazy by the time i get around the corner to the pizzeria, with me literally getting out and dressed and then walking out the door. Glad i finally did still to take care of myself. Eating? I might have something i can heat up quickly while the cat eats and so i can take my own meds. Dishes? Those are going to have to wait, i hope the heat wave doesn't get too bad, but it's been like this for a while, still slowly chipping away at them. Sleep? Severe insomnia. I partially blame the bed, my mattress is so comfortable, i hope the bedbugs like it because i can't fucking use it right now. I'd be sleeping so fucking soundly if i were in my own bed, and yet here i am. Maybe i should take the Trazodone now. I just hope I'll wake up on time. Oh look I'm exhausted, can't afford to buy comparatively better prepared coffee from Dunkin, so i guess my shitty at home coffee is going to have to do. Black because i don't have any creamer or milk or lactose free milk in my house. Just the way i hate it. Gonna have to deal with that i guess, maybe I'll learn to like it

The coffee pot lives in my fridge now. I'm worried to put it with the other dishes because if it sits there, not being washed like everything else, then i won't even have the option of coffee. It's just water and ground up beans, I'm sure it's fine

Maybe i can find some kind of coping skill/hobby to help me through my limited me time. Let's see.... I like to crochet, and that helps me get through the dishes by letting me alternate between them and a row/round on one of my many started projects. What? It's in a giant garbage bag with a bedbug treatment stick because of the damn ass bedbugs? Can't open it for at least another week and even then there isn't a place to put the yarn safely? Well fuck. I found that really helpful with keeping me grounded. Umm, well looking online, i should *checks notes* buy new yarn in the meantime and keep it somewhere safe. Uh, well, i can't afford more yarn now and i have nowhere to put it. Videogames it is maybe? Oh fuck now I've hyper focused too long on pokemon, rhythm heaven, and whatever daily games i do, i think i have 5 of those of varying lengths of time spent on them

Did i remember to brush my teeth? No. Do i remember that i should and then when i get out of the shower so i forget to actually execute? Yes. Have i gone insane? Probably

How many spoons is a person supposed to have per day? It takes more for me just to get through the day in general. Why does everyone need me to do their Very Important Tasks? Why is there never anyone else? Can my neighbor just not buy more birds when she gets home from Crisis?

I just want to have good mental health, why is this so hard

[naughtynutboy]

yo guys i promise as soon as this school year is over for me (which this is my last week of work and then we get a week to catch up, so very soon) i will stop with all the venty posts and switch back to being a thomas sanders blog but GOD this year has been so fucking draining

it's like with every passing school year i think to myself "wow okay i'm at rock bottom, there's no way this can get worse" but then the next year comes around and guess what?? IT GETS WORSE :D!!

i am so done with school and all the fuckin trauma and stress that comes with it bro like i'm so over being yelled at everyday for shit that i'm trying my hardest to do but to everyone else i'm just sabotaging myself

and i've just stopped replying anymore because there's nothing i can say and nobody listens !!!! and i'm not about to stand here and wax poetic to my parents about how i've cried myself to sleep multiple times over the stuff they keep yelling at me to do in an attempt to prove to them that i DO actually care and i'm NOT just doing this to myself on purpose

and one thing that i am ESPECIALLY fed up with is them imposing these fake ass deadlines for no reason!!! i have something due on thursday, oh but if it's not done by WEDNESDAY MORNING i'm gonna get punished??? and then they check to see if i have it done yet at 5:30!!!! and if i don't then they just assume it's not going to get done today what the FUCK bro!!! like my god you are just so excited to dish out punishments that you can't even WAIT until your own fuckin deadlines!!!

they think that this MOTIVATES ME? oh my godddd it does the exact opposite!!! it either pisses me off or it sends me into a spiral of depression for the rest of the day, either of which makes it infinitely harder to do anything!!! so then i just get apathetic which further "proves" their point about me not caring about anything. i'm not even sad about this shit anymore i'm just pissed because it all stems from ignorance!!

heaven forbid i mention my ADHD as an explanation as to why this shit is so hard for me!! then i'm just making excuses and shifting the blame! it's not like my little tiny peanut brain is ACTUALLY wired differently in a way that makes it 100x harder to complete work!! i just need to get over it and "pull myself out of whatever funk i'm in"!!!!

jesus christ they must think i'm a fuckin masochist or something like??? WHY WOULD I BE DOING THIS TO MYSELF?? if i could just gEt OvEr It, don't you think I would have done that already????? it's not like this has been a pattern for my ENTIRE SCHOOL CAREER SINCE 3RD GRADE or anything!!

i'm trying to be a more positive person. i'm trying not to dwell on all this shit and let all the Negative Vibes fester and make me upset. but my god that is near impossible in this house when no matter what i try to talk about, it's just completely ignored in favor of yelling at me about my homework. like i could say ANYTHING and they would twist it into a lecture about my homework. and then they wonder why I never show them my art or tell them about anything in my life!!! like???

i'm just so completely, entirely over it. yes, i know i'm failing english. yes, i know i'm in danger of having to retake it next year. no, you don't have to keep reminding me with every fucking word that comes out of your mouth. I GET IT.

[dylinski]

do 1-100, coward

I AM NO COWARD

anyone who actually reads through all this, god bless you. you can blame leigh @thessaia, i give you full authority.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

of those three, pandora. although, i prefer apple music.

2. is your room messy or clean?

LMFAO. CLEAN? I DON’T KNOW HER

3. what color are your eyes?

brown, but they’re lighter than that in the right light. almost a caramel with a dark chocolate ring on the outside.

4. do you like your name? why?

yeah, i don’t mind it. its always been there. lol i mean i used to have different nicknames or pretend to be other people. idk i told my parents when i was like five i was going to change my name to Felicia Franchesca Sarahmichelle Lynn. don’t ask. in fifth grade (before dylan o’brien was even famous) i begged my parents to call me dylan and refused to respond to any other name for like a year. also, don’t ask.

5. what is your relationship status?

single as dingle

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

CHAOTIC, SMARTASS, STABBY

7. what color hair do you have?

answered

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

kia forte, although my dad calls it an orte since the “f” is missing. funny story, i  got pulled over and gave the dude my license and registration and shit but apparently, he didn’t look at it cause he put on the warning “orte” which i promptly laughed my ass off to. if he had given me a ticket i could have absolutely fought that bitch in court in won. SIR I DO NOT DRIVE AN ORTE. IS THAT ITALIAN? DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN AFFORD AN ITALIAN CAR? I DRIVE A FORTE SIR.

9. where do you shop?

ONLINE

10. how would you describe your style?

very idgaf

11. favorite social media account

tumblr

12. what size bed do you have?

full, it takes up my entire room so i couldn’t go bigger if i wanted to

13. any siblings?

answered

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

uk, always wanted to live there idk

15. favorite snapchat filter?

idk what its called but it has this higher temperature tone to it and gives me cute little freckles

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

i don’t wear make up, i used to use stilla (i think that’s how its spelled)

17. how many times a week do you shower?

i usually shower like every other day unless its hotter than a pair of saggy tits

18. favorite tv show?

that changes with the weather tbh. i can’t say i really have one. for a really long time it was supernatural though.

19. shoe size?

womans 11.5 (us) i think its a men’s 9?

20. how tall are you?

5′ 3″ or 160cm

21. sandals or sneakers?

sneakers. god i hate sandals.

22. do you go to the gym?

uh, no.

23. describe your dream date

answered

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

thats funny cause normally i don’t carry cash but i actually have $20 atm

25. what color socks are you wearing?

im not wearing any atm

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

answered x2

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

not technically? i’m an hourly temp but i hardly get any hours since i cover for the full-time employee.

28. how many friends do you have?

irl: 0    online: too many to count

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

oh god, i honest to god have no fucking clue. i don’t think about this stuff. i’ve done some stupid ass shit but my short term and long term memory are both shot to tits.

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

i think i answered this one for a different ask game. i hate most fragrances and artificial smells, even non-artifical ones. i got a sensitive sniffer. im chill with like vanilla though if its not too intense.

31. 3 favorite boy names

Dylan (not even cause dylan i’ve just always liked the name idk why), Jeremy, Jacob (the other two are random)

32. 3 favorite girl names

i know these are random as fuck, but i’ve always liked them so shoot me.

Andromeda, Persephone, Franchesca

33. favorite actor?

i like a lot of actors, way too many to fucking name and remember off the top of my noggin. for sanity’s sake, we’ll say dylan.

34. favorite actress?

god, again way too many to count. i can’t even think of any right now even though i know i have some. lets say Emily Hampshire

35. who is your celebrity crush?

answered36. favorite movie?

answered37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i would love to read but my adhd makes it really hard to concentrate. i’ll have periods of time where i’ll read a bunch its insane and then i’ll just kind of stop for a while idk. i always loved because of win-dixie or a wrinkle in time, bridge to terabithia, and american assassin.

38. money or brains?

brains, then you can work for the money and you know shit

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

sawahbwear, sassafras, whiskey, sar

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

good lord, i don’t even know. way too many. definitely more than ten.

41. top 10 favorite songs

answered42. do you take any medications daily?

not anymore, i kept forgetting to take them so it fucked me up not being on a regular dosage so i just stopped taking all of them.

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

see, im weird af. cause like my skin is oily af, but also fucking dry and i have shitty eczema 44. what is your biggest fear?

answered45. how many kids do you want?

idfk. i mean for as long as i can remember i always wanted them, but tbh idk if im the type of person to have any…

46. whats your go to hair style?

messy bun

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

small, row house

48. who is your role model?

dont have one.

49. what was the last compliment you received?

probably from michelle i think, or alaina. idk i don’t keep track. unless you consider kiana calling me insane a compliment. 🤷‍♀️

50. what was the last text you sent?

“thankies”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

tbh, i don’t think i ever thought he was real…pretty sure i could put in time out in preschool for making a kid cry cause i told them leprechauns weren’t real either.

52. what is your dream car?

mustang or challenger

53. opinion on smoking?

conflicted

54. do you go to college?

disappointingly

55. what is your dream job?

no clue

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

rural, but still close enough to shit it doesn’t take me an hour to go places.

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

haven't been to a hotel in a long ass time. i do but i never use them.. FREE SHIT

58. do you have freckles?

yeah, but you can’t see them unless i’ve been outside in the sun all day for hours.

59. do you smile for pictures?

relatively

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

5604

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

yup, and in a parking lot, and in public.🤙

62. do you still watch cartoons?

i hardly watch tv anymore, but if i did, fuCK YEAH

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

WNEDYS ALL DAY ERRY DAY THE RED HEADED BITCH IS MY HOE OKAY

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

ew, no.

65. what do you wear to bed?

tshirt

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

answered

67. what are your hobbies?

writing, coding, listening to music??, reading

68. can you draw?

NOPE

69. do you play an instrument?

also no

70. what was the last concert you saw?

like two years ago, circa survive with thrice and a third band idr

71. tea or coffee?

neither

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

neither

73. do you want to get married?

idk

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

DO

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

idk, part of me wants to but most of me doesnt want to

76. what color looks best on you?

i look good in all colors except white.

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yeah

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed cause i still live at home 😖 but if i didnt probably open so my cat could come and go as he pleased

79. do you believe in ghosts?

ghosts, no. spirits, yes.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

answered

81. last person you called

my dad

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

mint choco chip

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

damn, regular.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

RAINBOW BITCHES

85. what shirt are you wearing?

supernatural. dean and sam with baby

86. what is your phone background?

mitch rapp

87. are you outgoing or shy?

im an ambivert

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCKING YES

89. do you like your neighbors?

the ones on the right are bearable and the ones on the left can fuck off with their insane semen demons

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

neither, but i should.

91. have you ever been high?

nope

92. have you ever been drunk?

answered

93. last thing you ate?

hot dog

94. favorite lyrics right now

answered

95. summer or winter?

fall

96. day or night?

night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

dark

98. favorite month?

umm, august? idk

99. what is your zodiac sign

aquarius

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t remember, it’s been a really long time since i cried in front of someone.

[aria-laughs]

Real talk..(needed to vent, feel free to not read this if you don't like long rants)

When i was 11 years old i had already been through my fair share of crap. Coming from a "broken" home with little money, a depressed mother and an absent father. At that time i remember being bullied as a biproduct of my sister stoping one of her classmates (a 13 year old girl) from traveling half accross the contry to meet her 19 year old boyfriend who she'd met online for the first time.. under the pretence that she was traveling to visit my dad with my big sister. This all ended with the police stoping the train and picking the girl up before she reached her destination and everyone didn't have to suffer through the ordeal with a minor being raped or worse by a yound adult in a strange city..anyway. when the summer ended and we (me and my two siblings) gor back home, all these rumors spread about us and school became tricky. I got used to it tho, i had my friends and i quickly learned to keep close to teachers whenever i was alone. At the home front my mom became sick and the kids got a lot of grown up responsibilities. It was okay too.. kids get used to a lot, and today im a wizz in the kitchen and i clean with the best of them.

My mother had a temper, and would hit us when we did something wrong. I remember trying to cover for my siblings as much as possible, trying to shield them from the worst of it. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE my mother. She's been through hell and her sroty is worse than anything i've ever heard of. I understand what happened when i grew up and i love her because she allways did her best.. but i haven't forgiven her for making my home unsafe. At 11 years old one of my teachets notised that i had a hard time with my schoolwork. They couldn't get me to focus on my work and i was distracted by anything. I remember the letters mixing up as i read, and it became impossible to do my homework because no one could see the letters moving like i could. The teached contacted my mom and my stepfather and told them he'd talk to a specialist about me maybe having ADHD. The next week my mom dropped me off at the specialist and i got tested in every subject known to man. As usuall i exelled at language, history and music. But everything else was a bit off, i remember hearing him telling my mom that it couldn't be HDHD because my memory was too good. But refered her to a doctor for more tests. The ordeal took another week before my mother came to pick me up at lunch one day and told me we had to go to the hospital.

I had a thyroid condition that firsly was almost non-exsistent, and secoundly was unheard of in someone my age. They took blood, and sent me to get an MR and CT. When all the tests came back, we got the good news that i wouldn't die if they treated it quickly. But since i was still waiting for normal bodyparts to arrive, and hadn't gone through puberty yet.. he had no idea where to start. I don't remember the name of the medication, but i remember taking 15 a day. 5 in the morning, 5 when i got home from school and 5 before bed. I took them and 39 minutes later i was sprinting to the bathroom puking my guts out. This obviously didn't work in the long run and by the end of it i was so skinny you could see my teeth through my cheeks. They changed my meds and i stopped with the hurling. Instead i gained about 30 kg in the first 6 months and looked like a beach ball on legs. And as a kid being bullied, this wasn't that fun. Let me remind you that this had been going on for a while and tho my mom did what she could.. the was depressed and didn't see how bad it got for me and all the responsibilities i had at home made me dissapear in the day-to-day of it all. Alone and scared as the bullying became physical I panicked and stoped taking my meds, and all my symptoms came back. I would sleep for 14 hours and wake up exhausted. I'd go full days without getting hungry and i'd get moodswings and get real clumsy. My family got used to this and the symptoms stoped being symptoms and started being "just me".

So now i'd wake up and have to care for my siblings, go to school without lunch for myself because i had to make it for my siblings, or forgetting to shower because i had to remind my brother to do it. I get off the buss and get my ass kicked on my way to the classroom. Some days i'd get through it and come home to start dinner for my family, and other times the bullying sent me to the ER to get stitched up (i didn't have to make dinner on those days). This happened often enough that the doctor knew me by my first name, and instead of "how did you hurt yourself?) I'd get "Again!? When the nurses came to get me. One day i slept for 16 hours and my mother confronted me about my weightloss and asked if i'd been taking my meds. I came clean and a few hours at the doctors office and one frustrating car ride later. I'd promissed to take my pills again, but by that point i had ruined my body enough to never get better. So at 15 years old the doctors decided that they'd treat my thyroid with radioactive iodine. This worked great and killed the thyroid gland, making me dependend on meds for the rest of my life.

For anyone who don't know, the thyroid gland is responsible for your bodys metabolism. This means everything... your metabolism is a part of every funktion of every organ in your entire body, tho we usually think about how fast you burn fat because this is what we see on the outside.

We did our best, and we got through it. I had a safe place with my best friend and his family. And i'd escape there as often as i could. His mother would remind me to take my meds, she'd let me shower at their place and when she realised that i never ate at school she started packing lunch for me to send with her son every day.

I don't think i'd survive and be the person i am today without them. I remember the day i finally told them what was going on at home when i grew up, at this point i had grown up and moved away from home. I had started opening up to people i trusted and understood the power of talking about my problems. i never ment it as a "why didn't you see".. im thankful for my life, even the bad pars, but i needed them to know how much they saved me. To understand how much i love them all. I'll keep their reactions to myself, but i'll tell you that i have never felt more treasured in my life.

I was 22 years old the first time someone told me that I never deserved the abuse at home. I was 25 years old when i told my mother i forgave her for the physical stuff, but that i couldn't forgive her for stealing my feeling of home and safety. And i was today years old when i wrote it down for anyone to see.

I've been taking my meds for about 17 years now, but I have yet to actually get a normal metabolism. My last stunt was that i suddenly didn't need that much medicine so my metabolism speed up to lifethreatening speed and i had to endure panic attacks, dizziness, lack of consentration and shaking so bad that i almost quit school and almost sent me into a brainfailure (yes thats a thing) over the summer. My doctors paniced and reduced my meds so much that i didn't get nearly enough. This ended with me loosing weight, not eating, shaking, being sick and passing out all over the place, and almost sent me into a life threatening coma as my body overcompensated for the loss of thyroid hormones. My dad said something i've never heard my family say before. We were eating dinner last weekend and i was having a bad day when he told me "its painful to watch you struggle like this". And i almost cried, this was the first time in forever that a parent told me that they see me. And now i'm finally starting to get back to where im used to.

I have skipped a lot of stuff that happened. Some things i don't think i'll ever talk about, and some things that are too personal or too painful or too stupid to write down. But i needed to work through the new stuff, to reflecr back and to realise how close i came to loosing my life again this year. How lucky i am that i not only held on for dear life, but that with all the crap i felt. All the sickness and panic and everything. I managed to finish this semester at school. I managed to survive again, and im 6 months away from reaching my goal of allways being able to help when im needed. I am so proud of myself for getting to where i am today. And im so thankful!!

[notthecanadianaverage]

for the 50 questions, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ,6 ,7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, and 50 :)

LET’S DO THIS

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

Honestly? I’m a basic bitch xD I love vanilla scented anything. Wooden wicks are the BEST. I want to find a candle that smells like fresh cut grass and a candle that smells like lumber. Those two scents, especially together, remind me of my grandpa who worked in a lumber yard and repaired lawn mowers. I treasure those memories so much omg.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

Does Amethyst count? I actually don’t know xD I honestly can’t even think of any celebrities that I like??? I’ll say Jenna Marbles!

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Again, I’m not really someone who goes nuts over celebrities, heh. I don’t know how to answer this D:

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

I mean, I’m 22 now and my fingers are crossed that it will happen soonish. The boyfriend lives in California and I think it might make things easier if we get married? Then he can come here!

5. Do you know a hoarder?

I don’t think so??? I mean I could be wrong.

6. Can you do a split?

I have tried for YEARS and I CANNOT DO IT ASLAJBODUBFODSUFNODSUBFLJDBFUBEF I FUCKING WISH I COULD

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Fuck if I know... Damn... I remember learning when I was... I think I was... 4? Maybe? I was super young.

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

I’ve only seen one ocean, the Pacific Ocean. I don’t know if I’ve swam in it, though. I know I’ve touched it and waded in it a little, but I don’t know if I’ve actually gone swimming...

9. How many countries have you been to?

2! Just Canada and the US. I’ve always wanted to go to England and Indonesia, though! I love Harry Potter, I always have (fucking fight me) and I decided when I was little that England was a must for me, that I had to go see Hogwarts. And Indonesia, my inner volcanologist NEEDS to go! That’s where my favourite volcano, Krakatoa, is located. 

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

I hope not! I don’t think so. Or... Maybe? I think my cousin Austin is. I don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I saw him. We don’t really talk about him? My boyfriends dad was, though. That’s all I know.

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

OO OO OO!!!! So, my boyfriend and I have discussed this! I have a set of dog tags that I always wear that have our names and our kids names on them! We want two girls who will be named Raven Zaidee Trujillo and Dexter Rosie Trujillo. Dexter’s middle name was originally going to be Bonnuit (French for good night) but one of his best friends was sadly murdered earlier this year and he wanted to honor her memory.

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

ANOTHER QUESTION I AM EXCITED TO ANSWER!!!!! Our little boys name is going to be Blade Wayne Trujillo!!! I’ve always had a thing for the name Blade and Wayne was his dads middle name.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

Ffffffff I can’t even remember what I did yesterday... Um, I think it was a flat out 0 because I didn’t even do the test. It was a physics test. I was scared of the student aid lady at school so I never switched out of physics and I literally used that block to sleep and play on my phone. I never even showed up to write the exam.

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

Sailor Moon!!! I fucking LOVED that show!!!! I also loved Little Bear :D When I was 12, though, I was OBSESSED with this show called Disasters of the Century. It was a documentary style tv show about natural disasters and plane and train crashes and it was SO COOL. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. I used to wake up extra early before school just to watch!!

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

Ummm…. I think I was a ninja? I remember I wore my karate gi out one year. I lived in Alberta at the time so there was like 2 or 3 feet of snow on the ground so I had to wear a snowsuit under my costume which was a HUGE disappointment because I was turned into a marshmallow rather than a ninja. Either that or I was Harry Potter. It was great! People always asked me though if I would rather be Hermione because I was a girl and my parents essentially told them to fuck off because I was HARRY FUCKING POTTER.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

YES. My apartment is almost entirely Harry Potter. I have an Expecto Patronum tattoo and my ratty memorial tattoo on my leg is also Harry Potter. I am a diehard fan until the end. Fucking fight me. I also read and own the Hunger Games trilogy. Such good books omg. I was in the Amazing Book Race club in school and one year we had to read The Hunger Games and we even did a book trailer for it! I still have it! We showed my boyfriend when he came out in April xD The books are MUCH better than the movies.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

British! Does my Harry Potter loving ass need to say more?

18. Did your mother go to college?

I don’t think so? I’m not sure. I don’t know if anyone in my family has.

19. Are your grandparents still married?

Kind of? Not really. My Papa passed away from lung cancer in 2010. 

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

Yes xD I started when I was 5 and I stopped when I was 13 I think? I got injured in a biking accident and had to leave. I was going to go back but as I was getting ready to, I got a really bad knee injury and I just haven’t been back. I really want to go back, though! It was fun and I don’t get nearly enough exercise.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

I sure as fuck hope I do!

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

I think it was Playland, my parents would have taken me when I Was super young. But the first amusement park I remember going to is Callaway Park in Alberta. I loved that place! I remember throwing a temper tantrum because my dad told the lady was 6 when I was actually 8 and I LOST MY MIND.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Any language! I speak French but I would love to learn Michif which is the native language of Metis people as I am Metis c:

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

I think I alternate, actually xD

25. Is your father bald?

Yes, he is! 

26. Do you know triplets?

I was about to say no, but I think I met triplet babies once who I may or may not be distantly related to? I’m not actually sure anymore.

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

I’ve never actually seen either! I feel like the Titanic would be a no go for me, though, because I have issues with big boats and the fact that it’s real fucks me up and also James Cameron almost killed his cast by actually making them sit in ice cold water for the sake of hard nipples and realism????

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

I have had very badly made butter chicken once. It was so bad, WAY too much curry. And I think my boyfriend and I once ordered from an Indian restaurant. I ordered from the kids menu because that was the only place where there was non-spicy options xD

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

Umm... Hmm... White Spot? Maybe... But I also enjoy El Grullesays Grill... I slaughtered that name ;_; It’s a Mexican restaurant in California that serves meaty fries! God I miss meaty fries... They’re like nacho fries! They have mozzarella cheese, sour cream, green onions, and shredded steak :3

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

I actually don’t know. I think maybe? But I was too young to remember it. I think I’ve gotten leftovers, though, from when my grandma went.

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

I’m too broke for that shit ._____.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

Pfft beats the fuck outta me. We never talked about that.

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

Bug! 

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

Honestly? My boyfriend xD He is one of the very few people in this world who doesn’t tolerate me because he loves and embraces all of my weirdness xD Him and G are my favourite peeps.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

I actually can never remember which is which and I mean, I’m not picky. As long as people leave me alone and I’m in a safe area, I’m happy xD

36. Can you whistle?

Yes! Can you hear me? I’m doing it!

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

I do not. I used to want to when I was little. I have one in my bathroom, though.

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

Pfft. No. I’m not a breakfast person. I work nights so I get home at 7 in the morning so if I eat before I go to bed, no joke, I will just make a box of macaroni.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

I do! I take medication for my ADHD so that I don’t eat everything in my apartment and I can function somewhat normally.

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I am ADHD, I struggle with depression (it’s not nearly as bad as it use to be luckily), anxiety, I suspect BPD. I have a few joint injuries that will never really properly heal but other than that, nothing.

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

Hehehe…. Um… For me? Food poisoning… injuries… suicide attempts… hmmm… 11 or 12 times? All but one in the last 10 years. What can I say, I’m clumsy as fuck xD

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

Yes! I love that movie!! 

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

Pennington’s. I am THICC. It’s the only place I can get jeans that fit without destroying what little confidence I have. Sadly though they are NOT cheap so I currently only own 2 pairs that fit me and the thighs on both are destroyed so they are being held together by denim patches from an old pair of shorts, fabric glue and some mediocre hand stitching.

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

I have vibrantly coloured hair. Right now, it’s green. I’ve had very brightly coloured hair since I was 15 I think? My natural colour is brown. I’ve only had brown hair once since I started dying it and that was when I went to go visit my boyfriend for the first time because he had never seen me with my natural colour. I just said that I looked weird with brown hair and he said “No, you look incredible.”

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

Hmm, sometimes. Most of the time, I do. Been having a lot of nightmares and stress dreams lately, though, so I wish I didn’t...

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

I absolutely prefer herbal teas. My favourite is Just Peachy from DavidsTea!! I also REALLY love White Peach omg

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

Ahh…. Hmm…. I have… 8 or 9? I think? I’m not home so I can’t check.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

None. I grew up Atheist. I knew of religion, obviously. My grandma is religious. But I just never understood it. My understanding was that there was a God and that he lived in the clouds and I remember looking at the sky one day and there were no clouds and I was concerned. I also didn’t understand Heaven or Hell because neither have been seen and the lack of tangibility fucked with me so hard. My grandpa got really sick in 2009, he had lung cancer. I remember when he was in the hospital I really tried to look for something, anything, to turn to for comfort because everything was falling apart around me. He unfortunately passed away and I was angry because if God is real and if he actually loved us, why would he let us suffer the way that he did, the way that I was. How dare he?! That was honestly the last straw for me. If my children want to explore religion or they want to go to church and see what it’s all about, I will absolutely support them in doing so, but I will not raise them in any specific religion.

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

That was something I just kind of grew out of. I was never exclusively told that any of that was fake. I actually have a memory from when I was 3 or 4 of sneaking out of my room really late at night and peeking into the living room where I could hear my parents talking and I saw Santa and Mrs. Clause? I also remember one Christmas night where I couldn’t sleep (this is when I was maybe 10 now) so I was watching the snow fall outside and seeing if I could spot Santa in the sky when I heard someone walking in the hall. I lived in a bit of an abusive household so I had learned what everyone’s footsteps sounded like and the footsteps were heavy, MUCH heavier than my dads (who was very overweight at the time), it definitely wasn’t my Uncle, and they were wearing shoes (or boots). I was too scared to go look outside while they walked away but after the house was quiet again, I checked, and my stocking was outside my door, so I still don’t know how to explain that...

50. Why do you have a youtube?

AHAHAHA SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION!!!! I obviously have my personal YouTube but I don’t generally post anything, I just use it to watch shit. BUT MY OTHER YOUTUBE… I use YouTube @RatPotatoez to post videos of my rats! I will also soon use it to post my podcasts!!! RatPotatoez can also be found on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Vent, basically everywhere! You should go follow me everywhere so you can see the cuteness that is my rats c:

[sprinqdays-remade]

50 Questions

I was tagged by @toris-sunshine​. Thank you honey!!  💕

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Trying to wake up and falling asleep. Mornings aren’t just for me and it takes at least an hour of tossing and turning to fall asleep, even when I’m tired  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. What makes your day better?

Chatting with my friends.

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

Since BTS’s Map of the Soul: Persona teaser came out less than 24 hours ago, I’m gonna say that.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Hogwarts 💕

5. Are you good at giving advice?

My friends say so, yeah.

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Yeah y’know like depression, anxiety, ADHD, insomnia and all the good stuff yeET

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Gosh yes, I used to a lot last year when exams were close and I was under a lot of stress, but now it has reduced thank God.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

One Direction were the first artist that got me into music, but BTS were the one who made me really passionate about it so I’m gonna say the later.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yes.

10. What’s your dream date?

Idk. I love going to the cinemas so maybe going to see a movie together. Or anything cute really, too fancy kinda makes me uncomfortable.

11. What do others notice about you?

That I’m really shy and don’t talk much.

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Going to sleep really, really late.

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

...I don’t clearly remember who my first love was but no but the answer would still be no.

14. How many exes do you have?

0.

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

I recently lost my tab so I can’t say the exact number but it was a little less than 600 + growing almost everyday.

16. What instruments can you play?

Harmonium and I’m gonna start to learn the guitar soon!!

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

Jungkook and Taehyung lmaoo

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Can I say a BTS concert (Rae same)

19. What is your zodiac?

Cancer.

20. Do you relate to it?

Tbh I don’t really know much about astrology but no, those posts almost never fit me.

21. What is happiness to you?

It can be a lot of things. Chatting with my friends and making them laugh, blasting music in my room, learning new things, stargazing, etc.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Of course. I always am but I’m coping so

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

Idk... As of recently probably going to thay boring ass school trip cause that was the worst day of 2019 for me so far.

24. What’s your favorite store?

I have no idea lmao

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I never really thought about it but I think I’m pro-choice.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I used to. My goal was 1000 things but I stopped writing after 363 lol

27. Do you have a favorite album?

I have a few. Most of BTS’s albums, especially Love Yourself: Tear/ Answer, Wings, 1d’s Four and Made In the A.M, and a few other I’m forgetting.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Spider-Man: Far From Home comes out 3 days before my birthday so I want to go see it.

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

They always point out how I’m very quite and reserved and almost never talk. It’s kind of annoying really.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Idk...13-14?

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

I hide it behind my books lmao cause my parents are almost always after it.

32. What word do you say the most?

Idk. Probably curse words or ‘oof’ 😂

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

17? I’m still a teenager and wouldn’t date an adult.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

14? or 15.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Most people want me to be a doctor or army lmao I disagree.

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

K-Pop.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

England, Japan or France.

38. What is your current favorite song?

Victory Song by Stray Kids

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since July/August, 2016.

40. What are you excited for?

Avengers: Endgame!!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Went out with my mom for dinner and to spend some time together even though I didn’t really feel like it.

43. What do you want for christmas?

We don’t celebrate Christmas lol.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

English. But my favourite is science and I’m not bad at it but I’m trying to improve.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

4?

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

Living in another country, maybe with the love of my life, successful.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

I don’t remember... But my parents used to fight a lot when I was a kid so maybe during one of those times.

48. What age do you want to get married?

If I get married, probably mid 20s.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Animator, artist, astronomer (the last one’s still valid)

50. What do you crave right now?

A hug from a friend maybe lmao also something spicy.

I tag: @fluff-n-rock @christina-dh @bloomingjiminie @jungkooksbuttons @problematicsinnamon @sunshinehobworld @jisungii @monotaes @hraewordsmith @ohsehundipity @alien-the-magician @claimyourself-lightnordark

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

You can pick which ocs or all or none! Just some general questions: what's their daily routine? Dream job? Favorite baby names? Favorite animal? And comfort movie/movie genre?

ANON HELLO LOVE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKIN!! :D

This is gonna be for all of them, sooo…. under the cut bc I’m Considerate X’D

Daily Routine:

JuneWake up at 5AM because they crashed out on the couch and forgot to shut the blinds the whole way so Bright, stumble into bed till 10AM when their dog Taco wakes them up again. They feed him, have breakfast (usually leftovers.) Occasionally at this point they will go back to Hell for a while, check up on things (they are the Master of the Kennels after all, Dante’s happy to cover for them most of the time but they still have some Responsibilities.) On a normal day, though, they’ll probably just stay inside watching the worst Netflix has to offer (they love picking things apart/making fun at how bad it is.) In the evening, they always take Taco out for a walk (sometimes they do so in the morning as well.) Once it gets dark, they go out to the night’s bad diner/restaurant/fast food place and have fun terrifying the humans. Then they come home, have a shower/bath, do a face-mask, read one of the numerous shitty romance novels they have, and end up falling asleep on the couch most nights.

AugustWake up at 6AM or 12PM depending on whether or not she drank herself into unconsciousness the night before. Eat some healthy breakfast involving a lot of fruit (especially peaches, she loves peaches), and then she usually goes for a nice flight to stretch her wings for the day + wake up properly. After that, it’s work at home time (if she’s employed, sometimes she’s not.) Due to her ADHD, she suffers a lot from lack of focus and executive dysfunction, in order to combat that, she takes several long breaks throughout the day: to work out, to eat lunch, and to practice dance. When the sun sets, she eats dinner, goes for another flight, has a shower/bath, pampers herself a bit, and then practices her sword-play until 10PM, when she goes to bed or starts drinking till she passes out, depends. She has a few days a week dedicated to dancing, and goes to visit her siblings frequently - not to mention that her routine changes whenever she has a partner.

MyriadHonestly, they don’t have a routine. They’re so chaotic and they act almost entirely on their whims; if they want to do something, they will do it. The only consistent things in their life are hanging out with their many friends and doing their job, AKA. punishing the wicked in the most painful ways they can think up. So they could spend a day go-karting, a day assassinating someone for a lot of money, a day watching Disney films, a day spent in a club, a day fighting a unicorn while Mothman and a Jersey Devil watch and take bets, honestly who knows, my dude.

GingerShe never stays in one place too long and is travelling most of the time (she prefers driving to flying, and will hellgate her way onto a different continent instead of take a plane.) She’ll wake up either in the back of her car or in a cheap roadside motel and get on the road, stopping at any place that looks interesting (she’s especially fond of retro diners…. and yes, if there’s a jukebox, she will absolutely select a few What’s New Pussycat-s.) Might drop by to visit some friends, might flirt with a few girls as she goes. A life of adventure, rinse and repeat.

DanteDepends on where he is (eg. in Hell vs with Jesse and Vrox in their apartment), but the foundations stay the same: wake up early, take a shower, eat breakfast, warm up, work out, and then get down to business. Even if he wasn’t in Hell, he’ll go back there because managing the Kennels is his job, after all. He’ll check in on all the hounds, make sure everybody is accounted for and that nothing disastrous has happened (looking at you, Alric, we don’t eat people, do we?) He’ll check in on any new souls/hounds that have joined during the night and give them an explanation and welcome them into the pack. Then it’s time for lessons: aka, fight training. He normally teaches in big classes since it’s more efficient, but he occasionally does it one-on-one or two-on-one, etc. He also has an on-off mortal job teaching self defense when he feels like it. By the time it’s done, the day’s over. He might crash out straight away, or he’ll go back to earth and spend the night with Jesse and Vrox, or he’ll go and check up on June and spend time with them. Of course, he has days off, but this is his usual routine.

JesseWakes up at about 5:30AM, takes a minute to regret staying up till 3AM the night before, says good morning to boyfriend(s) within hearing range, puts his earbuds in to listen to music (alternatively talks to Dante if he’s there, because he’d always get up at the same time as him), then makes himself an absurdly big bowl of cereal and chows down. He has a job as a cashier in a 7-Eleven on weekdays so he normally goes to that, he also has an art class in the evenings every Tuesday. After his shift, he’ll go and check in on Vrox, who volunteers at an animal shelter, and they’ll normally go and get a late lunch. Then it’s normally home, or, if it’s a Tuesday, home by 10PM. He normally selects an album of choice and cranks the volume on the speakers, orders takeout for dinner, has a shower (using most of the hot water, rip Vrox), and dances (badly) with his boyfriend(s) until it’s time for bed. But… to put it delicately… not a lot of sleep happens right away. ahem. Also, if there is some kind of protest that he agrees with, he is most likely in on it holding a sign. He and Vrox have fighting lessons with Dante just like all the other hounds.

VroxUsually wakes up when Jesse does, but goes back to sleep because his shift starts at 9:30. He gets up, eats the leftover takeout if there is any leftover from Jesse’s bottomless pit of a stomach, and heads off. He’ll send a bunch of cute/funny photos and texts to Jesse throughout the day about the animals. Most of the time he schedules his therapy appointments for Tuesdays so while Jesse’s at art class he’s also doing something productive. He goes home afterward, has a quick shower in fear of the hot water running out because his asshole boyfriend always uses all of it, has dinner, enjoys the skull-shaking music blasting through the apartment, and goes to bed. He often loses control of his anger and needs to be locked up in a cage in Hell for a few days until he can change back from his hound form, but mostly his life is pretty uneventful.

BenHe’s a consistent little mouse man who tries to keep his head down and whose life has no surprises or excitement whatsoever. He wakes up at 7AM, has a shower, makes an instant coffee while he gets dressed, and goes to work, most often without any breakfast. He’s a teacher, so he’ll work the whole day, grab a sandwich from the little shop on the corner not far from the school when he has a moment, and then when the day’s over he’ll go home, heat up some canned soup or something and eat dinner while reading. He’ll go to bed, read for a few hours and most likely fall asleep while reading in the most uncomfortable position possible. Rinse and repeat. His only source of excitement is when Ginger shows up without warning and drags his boring ass out to do something fun for once.

EmalaLike her older brother, Emala is very dedicated to her work, which is in her case being a nurse at a children’s hospital. It takes up most of her time and she feels guilty any days she takes off, thinking that she should be there for the kids, and that as an angel she could do a better job of taking care of them and keeping them safe (not that she ever thinks this as insult toward human nurses, they are saints in her eyes and extremely talented.) She has a routine that runs super smoothly, get up early, drink some citrus tea, make her bed, say hello to her pet bird Sweet, have some breakfast, and go to work. When she gets home she lets Sweet out again, makes dinner, has a bath, occasionally does a face mask if she has the energy left or otherwise just moisturizes her skin, then crawls into bed, and admittedly cries most nights. Her job is incredibly taxing on her, she feels like she fails with every patient lost, and crying helps. She’s a big campaigner for unashamed crying. On her rare days off she either spends time with her siblings, goes for a wander around the city, or takes an Uber out into the countryside and finds somewhere nice for a picnic… but honestly most of the time she just chills out in her apartment with Sweet, reading, drinking tea and watching art tutorials because they are deeply calming to her.

MarsMars tends to spend a lot more time in Heaven than his siblings: he is the leader of his particular ‘family’ of angels, so he has more responsibilities than they do (it’s a running joke that he just boils with fond exasperation that they get to run around doing whatever they want while he has the ~REAL~ work.) Much like Dante with the pack, Mars make sure nothing disastrous is happening, that nobody in the family is breaking God’s rules, that they’re guarding the humans correctly, etc. When he is on earth, he enjoys travelling and doing whatever he wants whenever he wants. While he has no patience for work, he does greatly enjoy learning, so he often takes classes on subjects he is interested in. He has a lot of friends so he spends a lot of time at parties, mostly holding them himself since his homes have a lot of space. And if he has a partner at the time, he will be spending a lot of time with them… unfortunately. And he visits his baby sisters a lot, because Father knows he needs to look after them.

TacoBARK AT PIGEONS. A LOT. ANNOY THE MASTER. A LOT. EAT. A LOT. COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT HAVING ENOUGH FOOD. A LOT. BITE THE MASTER’S FEET. A LOT. WAG TAIL VERY A LOT. GO FOR A LOT WALK. MAKE NEW A LOT NEW FRIENDS. NAP. A LOT. FUN!! :D

Dream Jobs:

JuneThey landed their dream job already. Master of Hell’s Kennels. Very minimal work on their part since their second-in-command does most of it gladly. All they have to do is check on things every once in a while, other than that, they can kick back and relax. As you may be able to tell, June is a lazy little bugger - and proud of it, too!

AugustShe actually likes her current job quite a bit: graphic design. It’s calming for her, she gets to be creative, and since she can work from home, she can adjust it as needed for their mental health. She also tried being a ballet teacher… she liked it in theory, but she’s not the best teacher, unlike her eldest brother.

MyriadThey own several nightclubs, they also have a tendency of making certain people disappear while also mysteriously acquiring a large amount of cash around the same time. Generally if you pay them, they’ll do pretty much anything… just make sure you don’t try to sic them on a target who is a good person, that won’t end well for you since they always do their research. But they are the demon of punishment, and the work they were made for is by far their favourite job.

GingerShe’s had pretty much every job there is to have in her very long life, but none of them suit her. She prefers to be a free, unemployed bird with all her amassed money, only working when she absolutely has to. She’s no exactly picky though when it comes to it, so long as she’s not stuck behind a desk/generally unable to move around, she is an energetic gal.

DanteSoldier. But since June’s grounded him from fighting in any more wars since he almost got himself killed last time (and almost left THEM with the full responsibility of the pack, how dare he, it’s not at all like they actually care about him or anything it’s not at all like that) he’s fallen back to the next best thing: self defense training (and in the case of the pack, war training.) He likes the idea of helping people become stronger and more confidant, with the upside of maybe saving some lives. He also likes being the pack’s enforcer and June’s second-in-command. He enjoys looking after his new, big family, and he’s always been a natural leader.

JesseFamous artist. At least, that was his dream as a little kid. Now with the whole ‘living forever’ thing, he’s sort of given up. He doesn’t want to have to fake his own death or anything. He doesn’t really know what he wants anymore, and while that does make him feel sad and listless at times, he’s also pretty content with his life at the moment.

VroxHas never had any idea. He really like being around animals, though, maybe when he’s got his anger issues more under-control he’ll seek out actual work with them, like being a dog trainer.

BenBefore he fell, he was very reckless and irresponsible and never wanted to do anything work-related. After he fell, he realized what a jackass he’d been and also realized that A) he’d always loved kids, B) he has a fuck ton of knowledge due to how long he’d been alive, and C) wanted to become a teacher. He threw himself into the career and he loves it.

EmalaShe’s the angel of healing, it’s always been her thing. She flits from being a nurse to being a doctor every couple of centuries or so, and she prefers to work in children’s hospitals since she has a soft spot for kids, like her older brother.

MarsHas always been pretty happy with being the leader of his angelic family, even if he does complain about his little sisters getting off Scot-free while he got landed with it. He has absolutely no patience for mortal jobs, though, especially since his time on earth is his free time, he doesn’t want another job.

TacoIs very happy + content with his role as June’s therapy animal companion and protector (because a tiny black pug is absolutely terrifying and very fierce and absolutely nobody would mess with him.)

Favourite Baby Names:

Honestly part of the reason this took so long was because I was wracking my brains trying to think what they liked, but they wouldn’t talk to me about it. A lot of them have literally never thought about it, since demons are infertile (or rather, they think they are) and angels are forbidden from ever having children - and most of them don’t give a shit. But, that being said:

JuneThey were going to name their baby girl Lía.

AugustLikes the name River. She just think it’s pretty, not intended for any baby tho since the idea of piping-hot-mess-August with a baby is pretty laughable, even without God’s rule in place.

EmalaReally likes very common baby names, like Tom for a boy and Ava for a girl. Though she is proud of being an angel and her power and her ability to help others, sometimes she just wants a normal life with a normal family. She desperately wants children of her own, always has, though she tries not to dwell on it, because it makes her sad.

Favourite Animal:

JuneDogs. They hate dogs slightly less than they hate all other living creatures.

AugustShe likes cats. Like calls to like, I guess, since she practically is a cat in angel form.

MyriadSnakes. Hey, venomous buddies gotta stick together! (She actually has a very not venomous pet ball python named Albert.)

GingerHorses. Speed and power are kind of her thing.

DanteSharks 110%.

JesseActually loves cats and is devastated that cats no longer like him.

VroxLoves all animals but does have a soft spot for small ones like mice/hamsters/etc. They’re just… so small… if you want to see Vrox terrified, fascinated and borderline teary from love just dump a hamster in his hands.

BenThere’s a little spider that lives in the corner of his room next to his stack of philosophy books. He hasn’t named it, but they exist together in a companionable peace: if you asked him, he’d say it was his favourite animal.

EmalaLoves birds with her whole heart and is always salty that birds tend to like August more than they like her.

MarsLoves birds like Emala, particularly birds of prey. He has dabbled in falconry several times and greatly enjoys it.

TacoHIMSELF. ALSO. ANYTHING BUT PIGEONS. 

Favourite Movie Genre(s):

JuneAnything trashy and terrible, no matter what the genre. June is a connoisseur of shitty things and loves ripping things to shreds like the little vulture they are. They love bad horror movies for the bad special effects, bad romcoms for the terrible plots and forced chemistry (though they do kinda gag a bit at the romance because they are~ ~allergic~ to love.) Generally if you give them a terrible movie, they will be the world’s happiest little demon. Their absolute favourite ones, though, are slasher horror films and black comedies.

AugustShe loves romantic comedies, NEVER LET HER TELL YOU ANY DIFFERENTLY. She also likes dramas though.

MyriadCan watch and enjoy anything, but prefers lighthearted things like comedies and particularly likes slapstick because they’re an actual 2 year old. They also enjoy thrillers and sci-fi.

GingerAbsolutely an action gal but will also go for a romance anytime.

DanteLikes Disney/Pixar movies and is kinda proud of it. Also finds westerns and action cool.

JesseHonestly loves art films and niche/indie films in general. He gets a bit annoyed that so many amazing movies are never shown to the wider public eye and is on a mission to find/watch them all. + Since he missed out on so much time between the time he died and now, he watches a wide range of movies from black-and-white to the present to try and catch up.

VroxLikes adventure/action/thriller movies, or generally movies where, quote “things actually happen.” no he doesn’t share Jesse’s more metaphorical and creative streak

BenHe, with a lot of shame, likes family movies. He’s so stressed and sad in day to day life, he doesn’t want to feel that while watching fictional media. Whenever he does actually get around to watching movies, he wants the feel-good stuff.

EmalaRomance, documentaries, drama, mystery, fantasy - Mala loves a wide range of movies. And while horror isn’t her favourite genre, she can watch any horror movie without flinching once; she’s rather unimpressed by them.

MarsDefinitely that guy who goes back to watch the old silent films a lot. He doesn’t like fast-paced stuff, prefers mysteries and dramas to anything else. He thinks comedy is a bit tasteless, and likes well-crafted movies that have deeper meanings.

TacoDog movies!! Movies with dogs!! Yes!!!!1!

[whaleyoufeedmenuggets]

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something.  like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

[quasarkisses]

~how 2 save a life~

Yall ever stay up super fucking late but still gotta do stuff in the morning? Or maybe you're like me and you are a ridiculously heavy sleeper?

BAM! Bedtime calculator

I have been doing this shit for YEARS, it works and works well.

REM sleep cycles last approx 1½ hours. Waking up between them leaves you groggy and feeling like shit. So, wake up on an interval of 1.5 or 3 hours.

If you stay up all night working on a project last minute and are dead at 5 a.m.? Sleep till 6:30. An hour and a half of sleep will save your ass until evening rolls around.

I have been doing this for years bc my adhd ass has terrible organizational skills. It is effective and it's the only way I don't sleep through my alarms.

Aside: Even if I don't go to sleep right away, I set an alarm for a half hour before, after, and on the exact time I want to be up bc you've got a little time coming out of and going into REM cycles.

BEWARE: BALANCE IS NECESSARY OR YOU! WILL! BURN! OUT!

Lack of sleep will catch you sick, making mistakes, and you'll have poor quality wakefulness. Success will not find you there in any aspect of your life. Your work and your relationships will suffer if you don't sleep.

If you pull that all-nighter-with-a-long-nap bullshit more than once (1) every other week you will be dead, you will burn out and it's not fun.

that's all I got yall, good luck

[melloncollieme]

57 Facts!!

Thanks @siriussims for tagging me! I love these tags even though I’m not very interesting haha 

1. I’m 20 years old 2. I’m from Texas 3. I’m Mexican. Half technically, but I identify more with my Mexican half. 4. The other half is German. But I don’t even talk to that side of my family so  5. I’m in my third year at college. 6. I’m majoring in Psychology and English! English because I really want to be an author and Psych because I need something to fall back on. 7. I love writing!! I used to write all the time when I was a kid and even won a few contests. I’m a little rusty now though because I don’t really have the time for it. 8. I play the clarinet. I’ve been playing for about 10-ish years now. 9. I used to sing and play piano when I was a kid as well. But I stopped practicing and my voice is trash now that I’m all grown up, I guess.  10. I’m bisexual 11. I’ve never been in a serious relationship. 12. I have two dogs! Dogs are my favorite lol 13. I LOVE Harry Potter.  14. I’m in Ravenclaw ;) 15. I’m low key really competitive. 16. I used to be really into doing my makeup. Not so much anymore because I’m too lazy. But I would go to high school every day with a beat face idk how 17. I’m already running out of facts. When I was little I wanted to be a singer when I grew up. But again, I suck at it now.  18. I grew up with my grandparents. My mom has an autoimmune disease and couldn’t really work, so they took us in because they’re angels.  19. I still live with my mom and my grandma 20. I used to have pretty bad social anxiety for as long as i can remember. It’s gotten a lot better in the last couple of years though 21. I hate college.  22. I believe in ghosts.  23. I used to have sleep paralysis pretty often.  24. I was hella emo back in the day  25. I’m in a sorority. We’re a service sorority though so it’s probably not what you think lmao  26. I dress really weird. Idk how to explain it either, but I’ll ask my friends for their opinion on an outfit and they usually go “yeah that looks like something you’d wear” 27. But i haven’t been into fashion or anything at all lately. I just wear band tees and leggings these days. 28. I use to have a lot of friends on the internet back in my imvu days ahaha. Idk how to make friends here anymore though, I’m v awkward  29. I’ve been to Universal Orlando twice and I really want to go a third time when I graduate!! Harry Potter was my favorite part!!  30. I’m trying to teach myself to play the accordion!! I met this guy who told me if I learned how to play that I could be in his tejano band and you bet your ass I’m taking him up on that offer!! 31. I also curse too much. I don’t think I curse that much, but it’s gotten to be a lot for me tbh. I need to stop. 32. I’m pretty much an only child.  33. I’ve been playing sims since I was about 10 or 11.  34. I started playing because this boy I liked played it on his psp and I wanted to look cool. Little did I know it would be my favorite game and I would still play 10 years later 35. I used to make like a series with sims 2 and I posted the videos on youtube. They’re not up anymore lol, I checked.  36. I used to read a ridiculous amount!! I was that kid that would actually get in trouble for reading in class hahaha.  37. I have ADHD. Like really bad lmao, I can’t really function if I don’t take meds for it.  38. I’m 5 feet tall 39. I hate socks  40. My favorite band always goes back and forth between Smashing Pumpkins, Gorillaz, and Paramore. And mcr I guess, but they’re not really a thing anymore so 41. My hair has been pretty much every color you can think of.  42. I had braces for 3 years  43. I’m really good at writing essays for whatever reason 44. I’ve never been overseas. I’m going to London for New Years and I’m honestly so scared. Almost backed out because of the plane ride alone yikes.  45. I’m terrible at math!  46. I love crocs. Don’t come to for me, man they’re really comfortable 47. I’m sick rn and I feel like dying 48. I collect vinyl records! I only buy vintage ones I find at garage sales or thrift stores and like limited edition ones.  49. Sweaters are my favorite! That’s one of the only reasons why winter is my favorite season!  50. I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore. Youtube has pretty much replaced television for me 51. I used to drink Dr. Pepper like all day every day. But now I mostly just drink water and it sucks, but I guess it’s healthier.  52. But I can’t live without an energy drink or a cup of coffee or something in the morning 53. My favorite fruit is pineapple  54. My favorite food is enchiladas. Preferably made by my mom, but from a restaurant is good too, I guess 55. My first word was cheese  56. I recently started collecting patches 57. I don’t like pumpkin spice lattes! I’m sorry, I tried to like them, I order one like every year in the hopes that maybe I’ve changed, but I just can’t get behind it. 

Ugh I don’t think I could’ve done this if I wasn’t stuck at home with nothing to do. Ahahaha I’ll tag @galaxsims @abelsimblr and @scarlettxxsims Feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to do it 

[caesar-is-hollow]

Day 3: What is your typical daily routine?

As much as I would love to have a consistent routine, I very much do not. Thanks, ADHD!

My schedule usually depends on what OTHER people have planned. I'm always the one to work around everyone else. I mean, to be fair, I don't have a job, so that's not an issue. But I do have a kid in school and that makes for some difficult issues sometimes. Also whenever my classes are.

I don't have much of anything in my schedule that I do every single day. I wish I did. I don't even wake up at the same time. Sometimes I even go back to sleep after I take the kid to school.

I very rarely eat breakfast. I used to be very into coffee and that was a daily ritual for a while, but I've given it up for matcha. (My anxiety and IBS thank me)

I usually do chores; laundry, clean the litter box, whatever, and then get into what I ACTUALLY want to do for the day, which varies a lot day-to-day.

Actually, most of this varies day-to-day because of mental illness or chronic pain. Some days it really sucks ass and I can't get out of bed.

Lately, I've been spending most of my days hyperfixating on Animal Crossing or TikTok at the detriment of pretty much everything else in my life. Someday I'll get the hang of it.

I forget to eat until about 5 usually and by then I'm dizzy or light-headed. Eat, you dumb butt.

The only thing I do every single day without fail (well, not completely without fail) is watch Good Mythical Morning. It truly is part of my daily routine. I like the idea that it's a start to your day, whenever that day starts. Hence the name. I guess technically it's only weekdays, but still.

I usually will take a shower every day. I know it's not good for your skin, but it's the only alone time I tend to get. Sometimes it's an Epsom salt bath if the pain level is high.

I play with my cat a lot. I think she probably hates me because I annoy her so much. She's my baby.

Also, my actual baby, whatever he's doing usually leads to me being a snack bitch or cleaning up whatever chaos he has unleashed.

I go to sleep anywhere from 8:30 (kiddo bedtime) to 3 am because I am an insomniac little gremlin with no concept of time.

And then for some reason, I have to wake up and do all that shit all over again. Existence is exhausting.

For someone who doesn't have an exciting life, this post is hella long.