#i hate these kind of puzzles
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trying to complete the fire temple in totk while mentally and physically exhausted is not great.........
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there's this kind of youtuber i lowkey really hate who aren't overt bigots or anything but just do this thing where they seem to try stupidly hard to look for reasons to hate media that just so happens to have a lot of marginalised rep in it. especially if it has a thematic point that would involve acknowledging politics
#my favourite example of that (as in i actually find it funny not it annoys me)#is cinemasins complaining the train in snowpiercer and the guy who wants the protagonist's eyes in get out don't make sense#like. they don't have to be explained in the story the point is they're a commentary on socio economic injustices and racism#stories aren't logic puzzles they're parables and if you read them as being logic puzzles you're doing it wrong#and spoiling a lot of really profound media for yourself#having said that the youtubers i hate most are reactionary cunts like nerdrotic critical drinker or turkey tom#they should be punched every time they upload until they fuck off#and the most annoying kind of youtubers (not hatable but annoying) are the ones who try to argue that mainstream media#which is trying to be diverse and progressive is Bad Actually (verilybitchie is awful for that and she doesn't like pan people#so that put me off her pretty quickly which is a shame bc some of her videos and topics are interesting)
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I’m in love with your hair rendering! It’s one of the things I’ve been struggling so hard with lately, esp while still trying to figure out how to apply jjk characters to my art style 😭
thank u so much!!! i can definitely sympathize with ur struggle, i Also find hair to b one of the trickier elements 2 nail. it's also something where i find myself changing how i go about doing it more often bc it's such a prominent n defining part of character design so i tend to notice More when I'm not satisfied with it :'>> on the other hand tho, it makes it all the more rewarding when u Do get it !
#Anonymous#answered#i tend to do hair Last#n that makes it kind of high risk high reward bc if i end up happy with it it is like the final piece of a puzzle and i am like NICE#but if it gives me trouble odds are i am alr so tired of working that i am 10x more prone 2 getting frustrated with the piece as a whole#n risk hating the final product if i can't figure out the hair#nothing tanks satisfaction quite like pouring ur heart and soul and sleep schedule into a piece only 2 be thwarted by one (1) cowlick#looks at yuuji
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I like this happiness can be found in any world speech putting the focus on the fact that being able to compare between a hypothetical less tragic version of events is in itself what causes unhappiness and dissatisfaction sure for the characters it's literal timeloops but real things like anxiety and ptsd often trick you into losing focus of the good things in the now and to lose yourself in the what could have been
#higurashi#to relate it back to ze it all depends on the framing#ze as a series does genuinely go against this idea it wants itself to feel like a saving the world plot#and akane never stops being the morphogenetic fields favorite suffering soldier#but higurashi has much more personal stakes and invites the reader to feel for each individual character and how everything affects them#the story puts effort into highlighting the different perspectives throughout each loop while ze embraces being reduced to a logic puzzle#you've been in this timeline and witnessed this event therefore you unlock the next reveal and you understand rule x so next ending you'll#be able to apply it to rule y and get a new outcome and sure it flirts with the concept but it's mostly entirely up to us to think through#the implications of this trolley scenario and I mean have you seen any fics taking place after ztd's bad endings? I barely have#the game does not really want you to think about it even though it alludes to a moral conundrum at the end#vlr does invite that but only in the non canon epilogue which is only non canon because we're still supposed to cheer akane phi and sigma on#as they fight to save the world. and I hate saving the world plots shoehorned into this kind of story#and higurashi deconstructs that notion after already putting in a ton of work to make us care for every individual and how the story#continues after the looper stopped witnessing it it runs us through the rationalizations involved in being trapped like that#and what it takes to break the cycle and for one to accept that they too have a right to live in happiness regardless of how fucked up#things have made them feel they don't lose that right to redemption because tragedy happened to stain the paths they walked#Youtube
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I'm a terrible video game fan. I love off very dearly, I love the characters, I Iove the atmosphere, I love everything!
except actually playing it....
#I HATEEE RANDOM ENCOUNTERS#undertale was still fun for me but only because toby is a genius#off kind of has everything I hate about random encounters#also that one tower puzzle was annoying#I DID meet one of my favourite people while dressed as zacharie though so all is forgiven#off (game)
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I’ve reached the point in my Fairy Tail rewatch where it’s further along than tfd ever got, which means shit keeps happening that makes me go “fucking WHAT”
#mobbtalks#I’ll be real tfd embedded in my brain more solidly than the actual plot did. because tfd is my baby#specifically I’m on the oracion seis arc which I mostly remember for trying to puzzle around how to like. actually tackle it in tfd#it was next up on the chopping block. when I hit the wall I was like. I’d say 3-4 chapters away from it#so the plot beats I remember -the seis themselves#- the guild alliance and (most) of who’s participating in that#- big weird land thing goes walkabout and they have to destroy all its legs at once#things I did not remember but that have BLASTED me. - Ichiya.#and I. I fucking hate to say it. bc I hated ichiya the first go round but I think he might genuinely be funnier in the sub? god. god.#maybe it’s also because every time I have an episode going I’m also doing a few other things#- the monkey guys. genuinely thought they were a filler side plot didn’t expect them to come back#- Erigor comes back???? I uh. I killed him off in tfd bc I forgot that. haha. whoops.#- fucking *JELLAL* which is something I am. quite frankly. *shocked* I forgot#this guy is at the centre of like. every goddamn arc <- exaggeration#things I half remember which have yet to be confirmed one of which is kind of alarming#- there was a guy who was real obsessed with potatoes?#- I’m pretty sure this brain guy was uh. white. he’s black. he also has a line about switching ‘dark’ and ‘light’. the implications of this#concern me.
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i hate hanging out with kids because of the way people treat kids and the social rules surrounding speaking out when you don't like how a kid is being treated. like, if you're hanging out with a group of adults and one of the adults is cruel to another, there are many ways to say, "hey, don't treat them like that." or you can even ignore that person and tell the person who was wronged, "i can't believe they were so cruel to you." but with kids you're really not supposed to say anything at all unless it's your kid. and it's crazy because the stakes are so much higher. an adult being treated cruelly has so much more agency. they can leave, they can speak up and probably be listened to, they can be cruel back and not immediately be vilified. a kid usually just has to endure it. and judging by personal experience they don't even internalise it as "that person is cruel" it's more like "this is normal treatment."
#it's such a minor example but last time i saw my babiest cousin he had a messy nose so i grabbed a kleenex#and everybody said 'ohh he hates when you wipe his nose' but then i did it and he just rolled with it#and everyone was like 'wow so weird!' and then i became the nose wiper for the next few hours#and it was kind of an ongoing puzzle that he'd just let me swipe at his face repeatedly#then i saw someone else do it and realised what it is is he doesn't like it when someone scrubs the fuck out of his face#which i can personally relate to quite a lot#so i said 'oh that's what it is i'm just way gentler with the tissue'#and i got a dirty look and an awkward pause ☹️#like every time i go hang out with him there's always something like that where i feel like i'm pissing everyone off by having an opinion#meanwhile these same people keep rapists around like it's nothing#i got invited to see the baby this weekend and i don't even know if i should#i love him but the older he gets the more moments of 😨 i'll experience#and judging by experiences with my now-teenage cousins it will only get worse and even more high stakes#it was miserable finding out my 16 year old high school dropout cousin was astronomically high every day and had been for six months#and no one else really thought much of it at all#i hate this fucking family :'(#adam yaps
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I’ve never wanted to fight a child so badly- Me immediately after interacting with any child
#I want a fair and just world for every child#I want them fed clothed schooled and loved in all the ways that caters to their specific needs and interests#so they can grow to be well adjusted secure clever passionate people#I also hate them with every fiber of my being#like why on Jesuses pimpled backside would I *want* to watch anyone sing the alphabet wrong and while they do a shitty kick hop thing???#I will feed you to a bear if you don’t get your mystery grime coved hands out of my face#but also yes I would love another cup of fake tea while Cinderella has me on hold#after that I would be more than glad to help you do a puzzle and practice rhyming words#because it’s not your fault you’re an overgrown parasite and you deserve to feel seen & wanted & cared for#even if your presence fills me with the rage of a thousand suns#I will greet you with kindness and compassion#for that is the duality of humankind#those who would benefit the most from our compassion will always be those the most tiring to give it too
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i guess i dont really care that much but i am sometimes annoyed that since i present more masc people sometimes auto assume that i use they/them pronouns. like i actually dont want that..... thank you
#gab gabs#like im glad im being Perceived as gnc on purpose but i would like if people could be more puzzled than like#but on the other hand i kind of hate that people see me as Non Binary Generic and not as like..butch lesbian 🤕#and yes i know you can use they them and be a lesbian or butch but . i don't think thats why people use theythem on me
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my coping strategy for Bad Takes is, when i see them, thinking to myself “clearly this person could ever understand [insert whatever random, completely unrelated song i’m currently listening to]” and start laughing hysterically.
#HIGHLY recommend - it’s very funny. to me.#sending people random lyrics on anon sounds like something 16 year old me would do#i don’t think i ever sent anon hate - but i liked to send Weird Anons to people i didn’t like#nothing actively threatening - but just kind of strange and puzzling#bc i thought it was really funny#i’m mature and don’t do that now - but i do think that this mental process of mine follows naturally from that#anyways. a random person from a tag has been Blockt <3#I DON’T CARE IF CHARACTERS ARE ‘GOOD’!!!!! IT LITERALLY DOESN’T MATTER!!!!!!!!!#honestly an unsurprising attitude from a self-described ‘[redacted] stan’#not that that’s a bad thing to be necessarily - but some people need to get a grip
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Having played the demo, I have decided that despite my love for Ace Attorney, Ghost Trick is just not for me.
#the writing seems fun but the puzzles . . . saving Kamila was one of the most frustrating puzzles of my life#the fact that it has to be SUCH SPECIFIC order of events & timing . . .#i just felt mad by the end so#while i acknowledge that the writing is probably brilliant & the puzzles are great for puzzle lovers#it is not my kind of game. like the puzzles in Zelda games are my least favorite part#(it's why i hated Skyward Sword's gameplay and loved Breath of the Wild's)#(SkySword is all puzzles - minimal adventure)#(while BotW is all adventure - minimal puzzles)
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my love for off rpg cannot be contained
#I'm trying to think about whether I should actually play it instead of just watching a playthrough...#I really hate puzzle games though and turn-based combat so maybe not#Also I kind of want to watch it with my friend. I don't know if she'd like it but I want other people to experience it
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i also just don't understand the neurochemical theory for ADHD i guess. i mean, as far as i can tell, stimulants have genuinely helped me a lot, especially with sensory overload and being able to activate focus at will more often. but they haven't changed the core part of me that just goes too fast, if that makes sense. when i was a kid, most of the adults around me were convinced that (and it sounds fucking stupid, sorry, i promise i am not making this up) i was like... so smart that i had excess neurons that fired so much it caused literally every symptom of ADHD you can imagine. sensory overload was because i had like, heightened senses and took in too much data, talking fast and on a train of thought was because i just thought faster than other people, stuff like that. it's definitely a lot better than being told i'm stupid and defective (though i got a fair bit of that too, depending on the adult), but pretty obviously pseudoscientific and also the reason i didn't get diagnosed till age 16 despite the extremely obvious flags i was throwing up. regardless, that explanation that my brain was simply structured differently, that i basically took in too much data too fast, always spoke to me a lot more than the idea that it's caused by my dopamine receptors only. i just don't generally link most of my symptoms to my emotions or adrenaline levels most of the time. certainly it plays a part, but the way i talk, the sensory stuff, and the way i learn and process new information seems to be largely unexplainable with dopamine levels.
#i suppose i am kind of also just describing autism#and it's entirely possible that i just have comorbidity going on#but psychiatry is far from an exact science and i can't help but wonder if there's more to it than brain chemicals and maybe its more to do#with electrical signals. god that sounds dumb i need to learn neuroscience#i hate gifted kid shit man it's so stupid. i had a good teacher for most of it that mostly just had us do like#typical stuff for autistic kids tbh. different puzzles and logic games some sensory stuff#she did a lot of cool stuff with different tests she had us take about learning styles and whatnot#but it's stuff most other kids could've benefited from so there was no real need to have it be its own program#also you got in on an iq test but got kicked out if your grades dropped which is dumb and kinda defeats the purpose#they probably should've given everyone iq tests at the beginning of each year and based it on that#...scientific legitimacy of iq aside#i do think there is some merit to the sort of horseshoe theory of intelligence they used#it was basically an ese class for high functioning adhd and autistic kids#and maybe high intelligence does cause neurodivergent symptoms but ive yet to find valid data to prove it#i mean i think most of the other kids wouldve found it boring but only with that one teacher#later teachers that my siblings had just had kids do projects and research stuff#i do think i would've acted out a lot more without that as an outlet for the ole noodle. also helped w executive dysfunction a ton#it just. could have been a regular ese class for kids w/o intellectual disabilities. the gifted label is dumb
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tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz
#its like. this is more on like. why is it bad that theres a zelda formula. why is it bad that all of the games follow this formula#that’s their identity??? like pokemon games and fire emblem games all have their own formulas so to say#and so thats their identity thats what you expect going in thats their niche their gameplay experience identity#and i just. really fucking hate how loz seems to be going the route of just. throwing shit at the wall and trying everything else#and nothing sticks so the more recent ones just feel like open world slop that dont excel at anything#so fuck this im going to play elden ring with a double jumping horse and great and challenging combat. i’ll play minecraft#yknow? and i dont understand why loz games feeling ‘similar’ is so fucking bad like???? every game series’ entries feel similar thats the#point yknow. if they suddenly made a fire emblem that was an fps for no reason other than to break convention and break away feom the#formula then what the fuck thats not even fire emblem any more. like. idk. i kinda just despise the newer stuff bc its so. middle of the#road whatever and has just about nothing i actually like and look for in the series. they dont have that niche identity any more#its a shift that just makes them like part of the open world white noise every aspect is honed down and done better in other games#its not like the formula causes every loz game to be really predictable or blend together fuck no#theyre still each very unique from each other even if they follow the same guidelines thats the fun???#like woah i wonder how the dungeons will differ what the new story and characters will be what new items#fucking hell boo hoo this game series’ games are similar to each other. almost as if they share the same central identity#absolutely just letting off steam and frustration here i hate when ppl treat the formula as a bad thing when it’s like. what makes them loz#like fuck its not like theyre exactly the same like i said theres a great deal of variety in what each one offers no need to just chuck it#all thats the kind of shit i come to loz for. i go to fire emblem for the specific leveling up strategy gameplay i go to pokemon for the#creature battling and specific world feel botw/totk just. do not carry with them the same signifiers of loz and they dont really have#identities beyond go do whatever the fuck which is not very compelling??? like can we at least commit to something here?#im yelling at shadows here im just. fuckin tired and feeling pessimistic abt this future of this game series whose core gameplay is one of#my all time favorites i really like the tightly designed linear-with-freedom dungeons and puzzles and world and all that#like the aesthetics changing is great and its fun to see different takes and tones on it but that core sense of things is like. The Point#of choosing to play loz yknow what i mean. like just bc its got ‘legend of zelda’ slapped on it doesnt gonna mean im gonna want to play a#vastly different experience if that makes sense. thats not the precedent thats not what you like. expect and associate with this#i feel like i sound like some entitled fuck abt this but like. is that tried and true style just going to be trashed in favor of this#honestly kinda bland everyman-ass style just bc it started to seem like it was getting stale. fuck this im gonna see what tunic’s about#likely delete later this was just a vent. ‘the zelda formula is a bad thing-‘ are you fucking serious rn#like hesitantly hopeful abt eow bc someone i know is excited for it so ill def play it but just. man
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#ooc || [out of character]#I do eventually wanna plan on writing with neya more as well but aah I'm so particular. since I'm in the middle of rereading itsu#I just wanna make sure I got a good refresher on stuff before I really get into it cause shiiieet I'm only like 6 vols in and Ive been#remembering all kinds of stuff wrong and that bothers me so yeah neya's more infrequent#cause I have to have all the pieces of this puzzle smh hate that for me
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yeah livia pointed out to me the other week that my mental health and general outlook on life started to dramatically improve after my autism diagnosis. which like. damn i guess it did
#lotte.txt#granted that was also around when i was graduating college#but like i went to grad school immediately after that so i don’t think that was as major a factor#i think it was very productive to finally understand myself on that level#it’s easier to give yourself grace when you’re intimately familiar with your own strengths and limitations#i kind of hate that autism speaks uses the puzzle piece because i wish i could use the puzzle piece as a symbol of my autism#not as like a ‘we WILL make you fit into society you odd-brained creature’ way#in a ‘once i understood this piece of my own neuropsychology so many things made sense’ way
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