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soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart
sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers
and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure
the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish
soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down
he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill
we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan
he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost
he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them
he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted
he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much
#i cant believe i never posted the soap meta that got me twitter famous™️💅#as with damn near every piece of characterisation in this franchise soaps is only apparent in subtext and connecting tiny little dots#it is very easy to just pick up his surface personality and think thats all he is#but soaps not a sunshine character#hes not super friendly or bright#hes just willing to talk to people and hes paired up with ghost who never wants to start a conversation#every time i see soap presented as this bubbly airhead thats super sweet and just blows stuff up i lose a year off my life#and i dont blame people for getting this vibe from him but im begging you to look a lil deeper#this isnt getting into his anger or the fact that he is a soldier which automatically makes him a wee bit fucked up#like he is hyperviolent and takes joy in it#we all know ghosts snuff film joke but soaps the one who responds positively to it#he returns the joke and only calls him out on it when he says he wont watch it more than once and even then its teasing not grossed out#and if we take the ‘he tried to join the military at 16’ factoid from 09 as current canon then he very easily could have a rough home life#no one tries to repeatedly join the military early without having some kind of problems#soap knows his worth and his abilities you dont get to be as good and specialised as he is without being completely sure of yourself#we know ghost has an ego but soap constantly butts up against it with his own affirmations#‘you wanna be better than me johnny’ ‘maybe i already am/i will be’ ‘a little helps not so bad eh lt’#being a sniper makes me hate the ‘cant sit still’ hc hes literally an sas sniper he wouldnt be complaining after a few hours of overwatch#i like the adhd hc and maybe he fidgets in his day to day life but the second hes at work hes At Work#tldr soap could be just as complex a character as ghost if cod would stop treating their campaigns as an afterthought and actually commit#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#soapghost#save post#call of duty modern warfare#cod meta
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For Liefer to pull up a Camus quote like this is quite laughable because of how the dynamics mirror each other. In the modern day, we have a status quo where Palestinians continue to be imprisoned and murdered and raped and segregated, denied basic medical care for years on end, all on their own land — while Jewish Israelis (to make distinction from Palestinians with Israeli citizenship, as many liberal zionists love to point out) suffer no consequences for anything, even if they play a direct role in the continued erasure and genocide of Palestinians. So if given a choice between suffering no consequences while benefiting from the status quo (that will not change unless the oppressed take it upon themselves to change their circumstance) and suffering consequences in the form of direct personal loss (with the strategy of forcing things to change by ennacting the same type of violence that the occupied experience on a daily basis onto the occupiers), of course someone who stands to lose nothing from the continuation of the status quo would rather the status quo continue if he has something to lose otherwise. Camus, when he said this quote, was not being righteous or overly sensitive. If anything, it shows how little he understood at the time of saying this quote. Because he didn't understand that an Algerian will suffer in both scenarios even if he (Camus) is safe, and for him to say something like this when people lived generations worth of violence for his and his family's (social) benefit is annoying and just plain offensive. Who is he, as a Frenchman born in occupied Algeria, to say what is worth justice when he only stands to lose anything in one scenario but not the other? He did not experience life as an Algerian native in French occupation. He might have observed it, growing up poor, yes, but he never LIVED it. Liefer might have observed the horror of settler colonialism, but that's nothing like experiencing it firsthand. To be the object of hatred to people who have higher status and more rights than you. It's just not his place as a person with nothing to lose if the status quo continues to comment on anything like this. What's the underlying meaning of this quote? "I'd rather others continue to suffer than myself experiencing suffering once."
I'm not saying Liefer doesn't have a right to mourn whoever. Im not even saying he has a duty to accept the consequences he experiences. But to say something so heartless as "I prefer the safety of my own rather than justice" within the larger, nearly century worth of context, is just insensitive and really belies his true opinions of the liberation of Palestine if he's so comfortable saying this outloud with moral authority in the middle of what is an outright bloodbath of Palestinians across Palestine. It's the timing of saying something like this because to say it now of all times when the entire world ignores or even encourages the violence in Gaza but mourns the death of Israelis? An Algerian born Frenchman and Israeli are going to be mourned on an international scale... but Palestinian and Algerian natives? Their deaths are regarded as facts of life by the rest of the world.
This makes it seem like I hate Camus, but I honestly don't, but I think the way Leifer is holding this quote up at face value and as the height of reason really is annoying. People like to mention Camus' "if" in this case as proof that he's actually saying "this is not real justice so therefore I do not have to accept it," but who is he to say what is or is not justice? The point I'm getting at is the people who benefit from occupation, in this case, Camus and Liefer have no right to determine what is or is not justice, despite their personal beliefs. The occupier has no right to tell the occupied what they should do to get freed. That alone is an arrogance in assertion that is so offending — the assertion that the occupier knows how to free the occupied in what *he* considers justice and the occupied just need to do whatever the occupier tells them to do. Because whether they both like it or not, they still benefit from and are part of the occupying force, and therefore have no real reason to fight the occupation at their own expense — the occupation is a violence that they are alright with inflicting if it means they cannot lose anything or anyone.
Also the idea that liefer indirectly compares himself to Camus is a little funny to me.
#this makes it seem like i really hate camus but i dont i think hes an alright writer#but to remove his works from his own sociopolitical context is annoying and a false evaluation of the meaning of his world#*his work#camus is somewhat orientalist in his works. he has some interesting ideas but it doesnt change the fact that a frenchman is of a different#class that other algerians#even if camus was poor growing up - even the richest of algerians suffered occupation in a way camus never did#im almost certain liefer was born affluent and is still affluent#so there is no class solidarity between liefer and a working class palestinian#like how there was between camus and working class algerians#so he cant even compare himself to camus
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i think a core component of the okumura twins relationship is that if you told them before the series what happens in the future, they would worry about each other before themselves
#i stand by this 100%#especially with yukio people act like he actually hates rin#when in reality he spends a lot of time worrying about his safety to his own detriment and to the detriment of him#cuz he thinks about it as an authority figure and not as a peer and he doesnt really know rin that well at this point#hes used to the 'if nothing bad happens he'll be same so if he does nothing nothing will happen' but of course that doesnt work anymore#rin is already a demon hes already an exorcist and yukio cant cope with the fact that bad things have ALREADY happened#and his problem solving method failed and continues to fail that he doesnt know what to do#in terms of rin of course he also has his own problems#rin does this too but more as a brother and less of an authority figure#its more of a 'yukio should have to deal with this so im gonna do it even if it kills me' even tho in this case yukio has more experience#rin needs to keep him safe and to keep him safe he needs to fight the things that threaten his little brother#but that also fails because of yukio's aformentioned experience but also rin's lack of experience#rin knows how to fight bullies but he doesnt know demons but hes still trying even if yukio doesnt want him to#anyway i think its sweet how hard they try for eachother despite being out of their element#and also how hard they're trying to appear like they're not trying to keep eachother safe to eachothers benefit#okumura twins#ao no exorcist#blue exorcist#yukio okumura#rin okumura
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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walter white from breaking bad
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Walter Hartwell White (Breaking Bad) is an Anime Girl!
#my name is walter hartwell white. i live at 308 negra arroyo lane albuquerque new mexico 87104. this is my confession. if youre watching thi#s tape im probably dead. murdered by my brother in law hank schrader. hank has been building a meth empire for over a year and using me as#is chemist. shortly after my 50th birthday hank came to me with a rather shocking proposition. he asked that i use my chemistry knowledge t#cook methamphetamine which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. connections that he made through his career with the#DEA. i was... astounded. i always thought that hank was a very moral man and i was thrown. confused. but i was also particularily vulner#able at the time. something he knew and took advantage of. i was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. han#took me on a ride along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. and i was weak. i didnt want my family to#go into financial ruin so i agreed. every day i think back at that moment with regret. i quickly realized that i was in way over my head an#hank had a partner. a man named gustavo fring. a business man. hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man and when i tried to quit#fring threatened my family. i didnt know where to turn. eventually hank and fring had a falling out. from what i can gather hank was always#pushing for a greater share of the business to which fring flatly refused to give him and things escalated. fring was able to arrange uh i#uess you could call it a hit. on my brother in law. and failed but hank was seriously injured. and i ended up paying his medical bills whic#amounted to a little over 177000. upon recovery hank was bent on revenge working with a man named hector salamanca. he plotted to kill frin#and did so. in fact the bomb that he used was built by me and he gave me no option in it. i have often contemplated suicide but i am a cowa#d. i wanted to go to the police but i was frightened. hank had risen in the ranks to become head of the DEA and about that time to keep me#n line he took my children. for 3 months he kept them.my wife who up until that point had no idea of my criminal activities was horrified t#learn what i had done. why hank had taken our children. we were scared. i was in hell i hated myself for what i had brought upon my family.#recently i tried once again to quit to end this nightmare and in response he gave me this. i cant take this anymore. i live in fear every#ay that hank will kill me or worse hurt my family. i... all i could think to do was make this video in hope that the world will finally see#this man for what he really is.#breaking bad#walter white#your fave is an anime girl#your fave is#hall of fame
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crying throwing up because i didnt write 'stay frosty' on the back of the iceman/angel/beast photo of my last comic
#snap chats#NOOOOOOO I FAILED THE PUN-LOVER COMMUNITY CMON IT WAS SO EASY AND RIGHT THERE#I LOVE 'STAY FROSTY' ill just have to pocket that phrase for the future .. hehe .. top 10 reasons i love iceman IS his puns idc#I COULD HAVE. its indecipherable as hell but on the og5 pic i tried to squeeze in 'and lots of love from their professor' on the back#i think i tried to think of something for the bob/hank/warren one but i gave up two seconds into it evidently#AND ONLY AFTER LIKE AN HOUR OF COURSE I FINALLY THINK OF SOMETHING I HATE IT HERE#theres so much more room on the back of the photos in that comic too ..... never living this down <- ill be fine in the morn#i posted it to twitter its too late to amend this on account of you cant edit posts on twitter#sure i could delete and reupload but i dont work like that we just have to move on#sorry ever since that Pride issue with mags and bobby ive decided they have like. A Moderately closer bond#not by much compared to the rest of the og5. scott does in fact exist. but i just think its always fun when mags is close with one of them.#even on the smallest scale#ok bye thats literally it thats the end of this post i just wanted to say i like the idea of mags being bob's fave uncle#his only uncle. apart from juggernaut ig but anyways#im gonna sit here and drink my whiskey sour. its PEAR flavored.#wait did you guys know my tags were cut off in that post. i guess i underestimated adding an additional like. what 12 tags jALAKVLAKJ#so used to just drawing the two homos but whatever ...
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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replaying mystic messenger is so crazy because why am i gentle parenting these grown men and teaching them how to handle their feelings
#mystic messenger#mysme#jumin han#saeyoung choi#this post is mainly about those two#i get so mad whenever jumin enters a chatroom like get out of my face im not joking I DO NOT LIKE YOU#like i get it blah blah blah CEO with a cold heart trope and you melt his icy exterior But im so tired...#i don't want to explain workers rights to him#or... basic human rights actually#when he goes “jaehee i need you to work overtime again” and my face contorts in disgust and horror as a sitcom laugh track plays in the bac#also seven's route is so frustrating#like there's genuine reasons for him acting cold and whatever and i get it#but i actually dont want to watch you break a robot cat and then change ur pfp to a dark and broody photo of yourself#I ALSO CANT TALK TO ZEN IM SORRY I HATE HIM SO MUCH#zen lovers do not hate me... i am just a simple person#at one point in seven's route he was like “omg there's an explosive in the apartment? i should send a pic of myself to comfort you...”#I CANNOT HANDLE YOU GO LOG OFF YOUR PHONE#sorry wow im really into this game#i played it four years ago and now it's come back to me#also all of my points are nullified by the fact that saeran is my favorite#doing his route is like pulling teeth and eating socks#i say that with love
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what if because dust and horror wouldn't wanna be called anything aside from sans in a multiverse context and they were both good buddies they both just start calling eachother sans. i'm sans (dust) and i'm sans (horror) ahh duo
becaaause horror in his eye(s) still sees himself as sans!! he's sans!! who else is he SUPPOSED to be god 😒😒 stop attatching this stupid fake name onto him that just points out all his shortcomings in his au and also just dehumanizes him (because i get that aus are named after a key trait of something but COME ON the guy's name is HORROR it's like naming a poor person "brokie" or something,,,). horror is PROUDLY sans smh
and dust ALSO sees himself as sans!!! like,,, granted he's definitely not a better sans than he was before considering everything he did (but he still doesn't like his past self's inaction) but he's STILL SANS. nothing about him changed (really?) enough to warrant the whole identity shift. like dude dont discredit him DONT DENY HIS WHOLE LIFE!!! he IS sans no matter what,,, dust doesnt wanna think about what he became if he's not sans now anyways lul :3
now could they fight over the right to the identity of sans??? possibly,,, but also consider this: there are literally infinite numbers of sanses in the multiverse. at some point the shiny title of Sans would be something horror and dust are used to around the multiverse!!! so why fight over the name (that so many others share already so its not exactly exclusive) when they can just decide to make each other feel better!!! be delusional TOGETHER 🤞
#because a certain mutual of mine's post reminded me that this draft of mine existed#ironic how this whole post is about dust and horror wanted to be called sans. and i call them dust and horror the entire time#killer would be having the WORST DAY OF HIS LIFE being around them#SANS THIS SANS THAT HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! YOURE HORROR YOURE DUST AND NEITHER OF YOU ARE SANS!!! NONE OF US ARE#ohhh my god this gave me ANOTHER idea.... horror and dust's pride in being sans bothering killer..... hahahshehahageh i like that idea#what's with me and horrordust but theyre using eachother to cope with the fact that they hate their current lives so they pretend to go bac#let's see if untitled29876011111 will approve of this mtt take after they wake up....... :3#this must be like the 7th hc ive made about dust and horror trying to remain as sans together#i think its really an interesting thing to me how they both are the furthest thing from sand undertale but they still believe it so firmly#its kinda like the opposite of killer and his want to be seperate from sans#because (and dont shoot me if im wrong) killer doesnt wanna be sans because he doesnt wanna believe he could've possibly made the decision#to do whatever the hell it is for chara as who he used to think he was. doesnt wanna believe that he's still the same guy when he's been#changed against his will SO much that even he cant recognize himself. and then for dust and horror#they still wanna be sans because for the opposite but same reason???? like#dont wanna accept they they've changed that much so they cling onto the old identity. i love trio parallels#i love continuation group i'm SO glad theyre continuation group. there are other continuations but THEY are continuation group#every single little detail about them can be connected to each other...... and they barely even know each other in canon ✨✨✨✨#the characters are SO perfect together even though theyre not even from the same character or have interactions#how is it possible that 3 characters from 3 seperate creators with none/barely any canon interactions w eachother#just manage to work SO WELL TOGETHER!!!! THEY HAVE SO MSNY CONNECTIONS AND GREAT DYNAMICS AND PARALLRLS OAUGHHHH I LOVE THE MTT!!!! MY TRIO#i wasn't totally inspired by the silly sans 1 and sans 2 thing i put into my fic noooo. ok maybe i was :3#this is 500% gonna be a flop post but whatever i post for myself and the 1 person i know will 1000% see it now ✨✨✨ freedom ✨✨✨✨✨#tricule hc#killer sans#killer's not here in post but he's mentioned in tags. for today this is okay#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything
#man i started tagging this and i cant even bring myself to do it. hashtag art hashtag illustration hashtag capitalism.#sorry to be sadposting... tumblr is the only place i can admit ive actually been really really struggling with my love for art...#i should be grateful. i should be thankful for the fact that i can do art as my job. i shouldnt be whining about it like this.#but theres a hole in my soul where my joy for creating used to be and i dont know how to fix it. i want to love to draw again.#its been like this for probably over a year now and i dont know what to do. i cant abandon everything ive been working on for 7 years.#im also unemployable. so its not like i would dare to quit moonlume...but i just want to find joy in it again...#but capitalism has dug its wretched claws into my skull so badly that everything has been feeling incredibly soulless. i hate it.#anyway. might delete this later. its unprofessional but this is the one website where i can let go of professionalism for 5min and be human.#i dont hate what i do and i really am thankful..i just i wish i wasnt so stressed about making everything look good and perfect and sellable#but at this point its subconsciously connected to my survival that every time i think about drawing i stress myself out before i even start#ugh idk. neither here nor there. cant quit but dont feel connected to my work but cant change what i do or i will alienate my audience 👍
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Do you think you be Mayor could’ve been better friends (orsomethingmore) under different circumstances?
MASTER POST
Asks Start 💜🩷
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#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk#lmk fanart#lmk macaque#monkie kid macaque#blue and violet#literally the only reason these two know each other is because LBD needed the two of them to find the skeleton key#if it were not for that then these two would have never met#so I suppose you could say it always had to turn out this way#but that doesn't mean it cant get any better#BUT THEN AGAIN I SUPPOSE YOU COULD ALSO SAY THAT IT CAN GET WORSE#Macaque really doesn't know what to think of the Mayor#like the dude did some crazy and hurtful stuff to Macaque (kind of) with the whole kidnapping thing#but its not like Macaque can actually blame the Mayor for doing that#same goes for the fact that Macaque had to work with the Chief against his will all those years ago#the Mayor/Chief isnt the one ti blame here but the guy still did that stuff#so its complicated#in other words Macaque wants to hate the Mayor but literally cannot find a valid reason to do so#could these two habe been friends from the get go if things were different?#I don't think so#because they would have never met in the first place#because LBD is the reason these two met and LBD is also the reason why the relationship turned very very sour and bitter#at least in Macaque's POV
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r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,
or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs
#everyones been asking what i wanted for my bday and i always say nothing#like i hate the feeling of getting somebody smthing just to get them smthing like personally#it needs to come from the heart for me. if it's for smthing big like a bday#now like getting someone a coffee judt to get them one on a random day is dif bcs it's just smthin random on a random day i can understand#but idk like as a kid into adulthood the only bday my relatives / guardians have ever celebrated was my adopted brother's n my dad's#the dad bcs hes a hyperconservative dictator lol n the older adopted bro is cus hes got higher needs#so everybody gets more money taking care of him n stuff so u gotta act like u care abt him according to the guardians#but like i never even knew bdays were that big to people. like i mean i know OTHER PEOPLES bdays are big to them#i find ppl who rlly love their bdays to be rlly cute. like i dont think theyre selfish or make fun of em cus theyre judt having fun#n like u only get one x yr bday so have fun with it!!#but for ME? my bday was never anything special n i dont think it is now#everybody feels bad or smthing for me or for not getting me nothing today but it's like?? this is the norm??? im cool with it#ive been thinking abt other stuff like i just dont have time to think abt the pleasures rn. i have to double on the pain or smthing#like my friends always laugh abt how i dont drink coffee/tea or alcohol bcs u cant be in the medical field without a lil smn smn#& it's like idk ! i like ppl that do do that kinda stuff but like! i never grew up with that & it just feels odd to do it now kinda thing#idk im very cheap but also i will use the fact that im cheap on the small stuff to justify wanting to make a big purchase#i have a weird relationship with buying things for myself vs for others like 4 others i will buy watever u want bro#sugar papi ted#hey heres this idk insert raccoon bracelet bcs u like raccoons n love wearing bracelets so i thot of u n bought it#but if i buy smthing for me it has to have a dual purpose or smthing#i got to have a free dessert today n chose the churros over the tres leches cake slicr cus u can judt make the cake#but i dont own a deep fryer so i cant make churros n storebought churros just arent the same#like im just always idk comparing or needing to know the use of things yanno#if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose#i mean just look at my username jrue ships or jrue's hips like#im unwell when it comes to that#idk is anyone else like this#anyways yea this whole new thing of getting stuff on one day is hard for me like it just never matches up with my time#of course ill see stuff id like to have but like. ill just make myself forget it n by the time stuff like this rolls up it's like idk#i COULD get a new laptop but i got one that works just fine. i got an ipad on its last legs but can i still turn it on? alright
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And my thing STILL is that as carmen gets a stronger sense of her past and better connections with her friends and allies the need/desire for Gray in her life doesn't decrease and dissapate, it INCREASES and is refined. All while constantly being more sincerely layered in romantic tones as the show goes on.
#red crackle#red crackle thoughts#op watches#imo you actually cant dismiss it as (well thats all VILE propaganda)#when the show said (and those encounters + possible romantic realizations pushed gray to pull his care for her to the surface)#and carmen knew it was a date! never let her off the hook for that! she knew it was a date and yearned to join him at that table!#i dont think a show so proud of its check->czech joke overlooked that framing#+ minor note even how he goes from she's attractive-> much more serious contemplating on who she is and affection#just because gray would in fact never say 🥺um goodness is important doesnt mean you can wholesale throw out what is happening#during the arc#carmen yearns#and she becomes more and more open about it as she stabilizes#as the shows parallels about love/redemption/and desire for reconciliation get stonger too like#hmmm i hate this show#never am i gonna find this specific kind of absolutely wild that leaves me bewiltered that the show does not in fact work in parts shdjflfk#part 1 is complete onto-....oh wait...oh wait yeah netflix ...#....anyway it has to be them#it has to be the girl who left the isle and the boy who found someone he never expected to love this much
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It's so funny to see people hating on meljayvik or melvik because "mel and vitktor hate each other lol" when 1. That's never been a "but" for a m/m ship and y'all allegedly love enemies to lovers and 2. they've had like 2-3 interactions at most and yeah they have a disagreement but that doesn't mean they straight up hate each other??? Like it just seems your imagination works extremely well until you have to picture a black character being loved or even liked by others
#literally haven't seen one meljayvik fanart where someone's not like '🤓☝🏽actually this wouldn't work'#it pisses me offfff#i cant see any other reason why you wouldn't find it compelling other than yknow. racism and the fact that you hate women#anyways. goodnight#stfu vithcy#literally not even my ship i just like the art but mel and vitktor's dynamic definitely has potential to be explored
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writing an essay about love at first sight and i’m somehow sneaking in like minds references. how cooked am i???
#the like minds brainrot is so real.#are they really like minds references if it’s technically historical information#my english teacher is gonna hate to see me coming#how do i convince him im not a freak#keeping it as school safe as possible#also im lowkey gonna be reaching because#what the fuck does the skull of sidon even have to do with#love at first sight#nothing (i think)#the origin of this essay is stemming from romeo and juliet so im not sure how im gonna make this work#but im gonna do it#man oh man i cant escape this film#am i gonna get my facts terribly wrong?#probably#does my english teacher know anything about the subject?#i hope to god no#like minds#like minds 2006#murderous intent#my beloved maraclea#skull of sidon#templar knights#romeo and juliet#idk how to tag this
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disorganized ramble about cami
eak and ttrap's care for cami is what dooms her to stay with owyyn. both of them want to save cami but they don't actually take the time to listen to her, spend time with her and understand why she stays by owynn's side because they're too focused on saving her, as if she were a damsel in distress, to see her. they don't try reasoning with her because they know she's committed to owynn but they don't take the time to ask themselves why. and that's exactly why owynn has the upper hand, i believe. he listens to cami, he takes the time to understand her needs, frustrations and things that bring her joy and he weaponizes that. a push and pull, if u will. he berates her to keep her from questioning him, and then does something nice so she doesn't hate him. he sees her as a full-fledged person and plays into her ideologies, desires and pains to convince her that she should do what he says. ttrap and eak are too focused on the idea of saving her that they don't see her as a person anymore, they don't take the time to deprogram her. that dooms her. because she feels like they don't understand her, because they don't, so she turns more and more to owynn. who seems to understand her even better than herself, who doesn't underestimate her or take her as stupid, who takes her seriously and explains things she doesn't understand instead of laughing it off or thinking she's cute for being confused. who sees her as a person. as a person that is worth trusting on instead of just a girl that needs to be protected. maybe she thinks eak and ttrap have been blinded by the bullying she suffered and see her as an eternal victim as a result. so she thinks owynn is not as bad as they say, because they are too focused on seeing her as someone who is weak and can't handle anything on her own. in a way, she may want to prove herself, that she is not that weak little girl anymore. she is strong, has powers, can defend herself and judge if her relations are good or bad for her. being a threat may be cathartic: she is not the weak victim anymore, she has the control and the power now. she decided owynn is good for her, because he sees her as capable, strong, reliable. something eak and ttrap, no matter how many times she gets mad at them and threatens them, will never do. she is not capable to them, she is a victim that needs saving. and cami hates that.
kind of like that one post format. "i would kill for you" "i would die for you" okay but would you listen to me. would you remember the things that upset me and make me happy. would you explain things i don't understand. would you spend time with me even if i'm silent and don't even want to be with myself. that kind of ordeal
#fnafhs#fhs#mine#i think this explains in my brain why eak and ttrap were unable to help cami see that owynn sucks#also why they dont seem to interact as friends the 3 of them in canon#(<- its a nonsesne rambling that has no basis in canon)#(evil shadow man appears next to me) and thats why goldami works#ESPECIALLY in a context where golden is aware she hypnotized him#which is not something i have explored here i think? even though i find it less likely i also find it very interesting#for golden to forgive her and want the best for her while being completely aware that she was the one who fucked him up#and that would affect cami differently because he KNOWS she is capanbe and a threat and an insanely bad and fucked up person#he experienced it first hand . he is her primary victim. and yet he forgives her and tells her she is being manipulated#someone who has no bearing in her wellbeing and should be wishing the worst for her is instead trying to help her#that should be a wake up call. ur friends may not be the greatest but theyre right this time. its not just them beign overprotective#the guy that HATES you is siding with them .#anyways fun fact eak is the one who is most guilty of this. the guy is the first to take a bullet for someone but cant be vulnerable#ttrap too dont get me wrong but he may try a little bit#fnafhs cami#fnafhs eak#fnafhs towntrap#fnafhs owynn#<- although hes bareley mentioned ig it counts#i always forget to tag the characters (im just lazy)
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