#i hate myself so fucking much ahahaha

[pointless2theend]

I'm so tired

[oatflatwhite]

turns out it was my fucking shampoo that colour stripped it 🙃 annoyed at myself for not asking my hairdresser about it before it happened (but also a little annoyed at her for not letting me know what shampoos to avoid bc it's a popular brand...). anyway she actually recommended putting some manic panic on to restore the colour so um. wish me luck lmfao this is probably going to go terribly.

my hair has faded so quickly 😭 i love the silver/blue it's fading to don't get me wrong but wish i could've kept the purple at least a bit longer!

[antoncore]

Hii ceebear !!! Idk who gabe u that nickname or whatever related to it, but i saw someone call u that on the tl, and like IM CALLING U THAT IDC (if ur okay w it) LIKE WTF ITS SUCH A CUTE NICKNAME CEEBEAR !!! CEECEEBEAR!!! also.... U should give me a nickname 🫣🫣🫣 instead of just being choc anon.... So i have a really ethnic name... So i don't have like a "white" nickname, so im giving u the liberty to give me a nickname based off of whatever vibes u get from me 🤩🤩🤩 pls don't feel pressured to do so tho..

Anyways!! U said u wanted to chat.... Lets chat !!! Also i realised that I've never sent smth abt all the riize members and am always taking abt 01z... Im so sorry 😔😔 lemme reedem myself real quick! Hold on tight bcoz ur in for a ride 😱🙆🏾‍♀️🙆🏾‍♀️

1. Shotaro: YUGUGHUG UM... i need to kiss him while he giggles... Also um.. reslly weird but why do i feel like he'd be so lost in the pleasure while ur... And start praising u in Japanese 😱😱🫣🫣🫣 also also also omg dancer taro 🤩😱 need to help him relieve his stress after a stressful dance session, he'd be so sweet abt it too.... Letting u do ur thing 😋😋😋

2. MY POOKIE WOOKIE EUNSEOK: imma keep is short n simple since i always ralk Abt him. I need traditional husband eunseok rn. Like all i can imagine is him sitting w yalld kids when ur non home and be like "what should we get mommy for her bday, hmm?" LIKE AHAAHS HE'D BE SO CONSIDERATE AND SPOIL U SM

3. POOKIE WOOKIE (2) KEEPING IT SHORT N SIMPLE (2): one thing. 3 words. Bsfs brother sungchan. Little game of hide n seek, hiding from ur bsf, late night meet ups AHAHAHA 😭

4. WONBINBIN: um.. if I don't get to suck hickies onto that man's adams apple....goodbye 👋🏾🫂 running ur hands up n down his biceps OH LORD ?! ALSO he just seems so sweet to me.. like i cannot imagine hard dom wonbin im sorry 😭😭😭 bcoz he'd smile at you so sweetly, but also be very messy in a way. And he would give such good head ahahaaa pls ?!?! 😋😋😋😋 Im dying i need wonbin between these legs RN RN

5. Soheehee: bsf sohee while the tension builds up.... In a big friend group too, the lingering touches, sneakily meeting up... Y'all think ur slick but ur really not! Sohee gives making out behind the building of ur class! Ooh and his hands 😐 OMG... Sohee fingering u... So slowly and nicely, pleasing u so well 🫶🏾 also he'd definitely keep wanting to kiss u while ur fucking, thus why always laying u om ur back....cute pecks w each thrust 🥴🥴🫣

6. Bring my MAN BACK RN: okay really controversial take rn... But STAY W ME PLS FOR THE PLOT 😐🫶🏾🫶🏾 seunghan and u sneaking around... Bcoz he's like the typical bad boy, and ur parents HATE HIM... Ofc as mhch as hes a "bad boy" on the outside he's the sweetest kindest to u, having ur firsts w him....him getting u addicted to sneaking out the window just to make out with him .... It all slowly getting more and more hotter.... (I will expand on this in the next ask, bcoz i have. A LOT TO SAY 😋😋)

7. Tonnie cuttie: campus coupls anton * reader !!!! both of u being the top of ur classes, but still making so much time for eacher! Even though yall study most the time and have study dates, he gets a little... Impatient sometimes... Both of u finding urselves behind the last shelf in the library making out... Also y'all being little freaks 🫣🫣🫣 every friday going to his dorm for movie night, but yk it always ends up in NASTY fucking... But it all balances out bcoz the next morning y'all go to the cafe on campus to get a nice swet breakfast together 😋😋😋😋😋 him also subtly marking u, even though EVERYONE knows ur together, he will leave his marks, to make SURE they KNOW ur his 😋😋😋 u whining abt the big hickey on ur neck, while yk you love his ways 💗💗💗

- im so sorry, hope its not TOO much ceeceebear, ily !!!!

- 🍫

hiii i’m okie with it, any nicknames are cool as long as they’re not mean (but i think that’s obvious hehe) but nickname… i can think of choccie 💀 so lmk if that’s okie with you <3 and its okay dw i understand… let me answer each one of your hcs hehe (note: i hope i did these justice)

shotaro: personally i’ve always found speaking a different language so attractive !! hmmm pussydrunk taro that starts praising you in japanese, telling you how beautiful you look under him. you’d been learning with him so when you figured out what he meant you’d gasp, grabbing onto his hair and begging him not to stop. and for sucking him off… in the practice room in front of the mirror <3 he’d be so lazy after a long day he’d just lean back into the chair and let you make him cum.

eunseok: he’d 100% shower you with the most expensive gifts he could find. you’d be going away on holiday with a whole new set of clothes, shoes, jewellery etc. and he’d make a cute lil hamper of gifts that are from your kids which would be so ADORABLE my god. and when the nanny got the kids to sleep, he’d take you out for dinner and fuck you so good when you got home 🥰

sungchan: going over to yours and telling your bsf that he’s going to visit his friend :( he’d fuck you so good, unlike any other guy you had (possibly even the first guy to actually make you cum :0) but what about one night your bsf calls you while he’s eating you out and you just have to act normal, try not to whimper as sungchan’s got his fingers deep inside you while licking your clit hajsnsnsnsns

wonbin: the mental image of wonbin between your thighs has me crazy!!!! like you don’t understand!!!! he’d look so pretty and soft, just running your hands through his hair oh god i feel like i’m seeing heaven LOL. also feel as if he could be a bed humper, moaning against you as he eats you out, just adores making you feel good :((

sohee: i love bsf sohee so much (was contemplating making a series of thoughts abt bsf sohee but it would never get done so…) but YEAH meeting separately to your friend group, trying things together. one night watching porn together and you jerk him off while he’s got his fingers deep inside you <3 moaning in each other’s mouths too god it would be so fucking hot like ISNSNSJSJ FUCK

seunghan: i see your vision !! i love this concept of him being so sweet and gentle with you, corrupting you slowly. i can see him climbing through the window and sitting on your windowsill as you make out, pulling you onto his lap hehe. but ofc i’ll let you elaborate in the next ask as you said :3

anton: humping with him as you make out between the bookshelves knowing that you probably shouldn’t but you just get too lost in it :( and going out after movie night barely being able to walk properly because of how good he fucked you :0 but it’s okie he’s bought you your favourite sweet treat so you forgive him!! also him leaving lil pecks where he left the marks whenever a guy walks by and stares at you because you’re all his !! i feel he’s got a lil bit of a possessive side hehe

[alienpossession]

"Ahahaha, yeah sir, just trying to keep up with the role, you know? As you said it yourself, cannot let other people know that I'm not myself any longer so I just play pretend being this straight Korean prick. Would've let you do anything you want to me if I know it was you from the get go, please, get in, you'll have so much more fun by being inside of me rather than going around as the little twink,"

After a while, I usually like to check out and test my various vessels which are spread across the globe. Aside from trying to know how well they integrate to human society, I find it amusing to toy around with their feelings and how easy their personality switched between their human persona and my dutiful vessels. It's also a way for me to test my power, like how well I could hide myself to be undetected by their senses which would indicate how well I could hide from other beings that might come to Earth and spoiled my fun. I find it handy to use Vince as my base body since he's loaded and despite claiming to be a very busy businessman when I first met him back then, most of his works are done by other people.

It left a lot of flexibility in his schedule so I simply head to the airport and his private jet ready to drop me anywhere I wished in a moment's notice. After I landed, I usually just dropped Vince's body in the hotel while I did my test, wearing temporary skins that my vessels wouldn't recognize as other vessels of mine and could keep me incognito. Here's what happened in the past few weeks

---

I just smirked as I quickly kneeled and get my tongue out ready to give that sweaty abs some licking it deserves. He's this close to bashed me to death, just like the real homophobic Seulgi would. I turned my incognito mode off and he directly stopped his fist a couple centimetres away from this cute university student's face I slid into earlier. Now, his fist turned into a lustful grab of my hair as he used it to rub me up and down his abs as if I'm some kind of washcloth. His lustful moan is as seductive as I remembered when I took him over in that Hongdae nightclub, and I couldn't help myself but squirted some loads into this university senior's pants while transferred myself to Seulgi through his navel

---

"Oh that was hilarious. I totally didn't see that coming. I really thought you are just one hell of an annoying new client I should endure jist because they could afford me. Totally sorry for being so hard and rude to you Sir,"

I simply smiled. Francis is a personal trainer, a succesful one at that, but I know he's not good with people that are not at least a decently-built individual yet. I slid into this fat fuck when he left Subway and I quickly devised the plot to tick Francis off. I bought some gym clothes to be in character, signed up to the gym where he worked at, asked....no....demanded to have him as my personal trainer and said all the things I know he hated. He's this close to lash out on me, I could tell, but just like the real Francis, he kept himself together. I also didn't find any flaws on the way he behaved like Francis so after about an hour, I turned my incognito mode off and he quickly realized it

"Well Sir, please just left that fat retard quickly and get into me Sir. That look doesn't fit you and I know he only drained you and made you out of breath. Please, it's been a while too since you get inside me,"

---

"Why would you do that, Sir? We are totally fool-proof, you don't have to test us. Is this random test or did you hear anything about us raising other people's suspicion? Now I feel bad for not welcoming you properly, you really played that role a bit too well to, I was this close to slap your face and called you names,"

"No no, you two are doing fine. This is just random test as I'm visiting Egypt anyway. And as for her, I just know you would hate her. Argumentative and loud gym girl that dared to talk back to you? Yeah, that's your trigger, just need to up the ante by disrespecting your mom and boy, I noticed that balled fist yo, I quickly shut off my incognito mode hahah!"

"We felt bad that you have to meet us this way. Maybe you want to slide into Farhan? You've went inside me during Mr. Olympia a couple months ago anyway, Farhan has been longing for you,"

"Well, I'm gonna do it from this chick's body so maybe let's search for somewhere private,"

---

"Master, sorry for being a bit direct but this is not an effective usage of your time. You have so many vessels, why fool around with the ruse?"

"Because I like to do it. And I can do it. Why are you the one questioning me now?"

"Sorry Master. It's just---"

"What?"

"Strip, and where's a bathroom? I need to fuck you with a mirror in sight so he can see that he's just a bottom bitch that lost thr ability to even control his own body and he's not going to influence you anymore even when I'm not inside you all the time. I will make him trapped so deep within his own mind, he wouldn't be able to leak through and influenced you any longer,"

---

"Certainly sir, everything I own belongs to you, including the bitch I'm going to visit. She's all yours. Heck, even if you want to fuck a white twink with my body, so be it, you do what you want with me and my schedule. I'm just so honored that you even bothered to come all the way down to South Africa for me,"

---

"What? Huh....I guess you played Romain a bit too well. Calm down a bit. Get hard. Fuck around more. Stop being so business-minded all the time. It gets annoying to see more of that guy surfaced you know. He's one tough cookie back when I eventually subdued him, turned out he remained tough up until now huh? Giving you a hard time to be loose and free while fooling all the people worked for him. Strip,"

"Oh wow, really? Fuck, I really am going to smash this whole thing with you inside of me during the competition. What a chance encounter this is. I really thought you were just an annoying fan and I only wasted my time here interacting with a fans, but turns out it pays off acting all nice and pretending like I'm this sweet All-American boy when you revealed yourself. Please, you can just jump right in sir, it's been a while since my navel welcomed you,"

[hua-fei-hua]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @justpastsaturn~!! man it's been a while since i've partaken in something like this lol

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

63! 64 if you count the random anon one i don't technically write but for which i do overly-elaborate html for a friend. and um. a lot more if we want to also count each chapter of the single-ship ficlet collection works i have as a separate work ehe.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

heh. 772,261 words since june 2016. C:<

3. what fandoms do you write for?

these days just genshin, but in the past i did jjk, bnha, soul eater, flip flappers, and attack on titan. a number of years ago i also had a fma fic up on ffn, but i deleted it and never ported it to ao3. should still be on my google drive, though.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

//HEAVY SIGH.

sparklers (BnHA), 939 kudos

Orchid in Bloom (BnHA), 476 kudos

the diner at the end of the night (JJK), 474 kudos

Fermata (BnHA), 413 kudos

Veneer (BnHA), 368 kudos

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do!!! mostly it's bc i have can't-shut-up disease, but through the years, i've also found it to be a really good community-building exercise!!!! i'm not the type of person to get involved in fandom discord servers, so i've come to really treasure the friendly environment the comments section of a wip can foster, as well as the friends i've made because of it~

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am actually a hardcore happy-ending person myself, so pretty much all of them end with some sense of hope. there's a kagerou days au i wrote for bnha back in the day, though, so i guess time looping to die for one another infinitely counts here.

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

tbh i have a hard time quantifying the happiness of all the different endings i've written, esp since it's been years since i've written simple self-indulgent "and then they all lived happily ever after the end" kinds of endings ahahaha,,,

8. do you get hate on fics?

no but someone impersonating me left a hate comment in my name on a fe3h byleth hannibal au back in may 2021. that was crazy i hope ao3 user dikhotomia is living their best life writing whatever the fuck they want after that incident.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i wrote exactly one (1) explicit fic which was literally just a 16k word sex scene bc the logical endpoint to xiao genshinimpact's character arc is that he needs to get fucked. i don't make the rules. outside of studying blorbo, though, i don't really feel any compulsion to write smut

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

nah. i'll write fusion aus, where cast a goes into setting b and may or may not try to retell the story of canon b, but i like to put the "transformative" into "transformative works" in those situations, to the point where people sometimes can't tell what story i'm basing the narrative off of LOL

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my memory or knowledge, no.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, several times!! mostly back in my bnha days, where i had one fic (partially) translated into chinese and russian, a different fic reviewed and fully translated into chinese; going even farther back, i also once had a query to translate one of my snk fics into french, but i never really heard back from that person so i assume that one fell through.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i'd say yes. there's the aforementioned fic i do the overly-elaborate html for, but also back in high school, a couple friends n i sat around my computer between rounds at a speech tournament and took turns turning one of my kouhai's scripts into a bnha fic that kept on going off the rails bc i implemented a "no backspacing" rule and once our turn typing was over, we had to have our hands-off the computer until it was our turn again.

14. what's your all-time favorite ship?

let's just cut to the chase and make this post timeless: i like it when a ship is basically just MONSTER x MONSTER FUCKER. if not on a literal level, then a spiritual/metaphorical level! bonus points if both parties think the other person is the monster fucker!!!!

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

well i actually recently decided to let go of zenith, so i don't really have any "i wish i could finish this" thoughts abt it anymore tbh... i think abt finishing my html sanitizer 2.0 so that i can post the notes for it more conveniently though lol

16. what are your writing strengths?

heh. bitches love my characterization. and imagery/use of metaphor!

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

SOMEONE will probably snipe me if i say poetry, but i still find my poems to be rather stiff and overly-literal, so i still consider poetry to be a weakness of mine. and fight scenes. DEFINITELY #1 weakness fight scenes.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

for a word here or two there, i don't mind as long as it's culturally appropriate. (you will pry my dearly beloved "aiya" out of my cold dead hands) like that's just how people talk in real life. for longer sentences or conversations, then i'd like it if there are translation notes left somewhere. at the very least, i'd kind of like a narrative or aesthetic reason if the meaning can't be parsed from context alone.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

pokemon, if we're counting my being five years old and unaware of what fanfiction is! otherwise, attack on titan or my little pony.

20. favorite fic you've written?

tbh i try not to play favorites w/my fics anymore, since if a darling of mine doesn't get the attention i think it deserves, i end up having a tough time getting over it emotionally, which has sometimes led to unnecessary bitterness and resentment towards the fic or even fandom/community itself.

tagging~ @kanonavi, @cadriona, @tempests-bards-and-birds, @followerofmercy, @chickycherrycola, and anyone else who might feel like it hehe

[seaweedbraens]

Saw a recent ask of yours about percabeth was sidelined during BoO and totally agree. I've read all of WCWSTHWAS and I think you did a better job than rick at giving the new AND old characters their time to shine. What's your opinion on the new and old characters and their "screentime" through the series?

VERY interesting question - and thank you for the compliments! personally, i am struggling in my own fic to give every character their Moment. i think jason and piper got theirs, and hazel, leo, and frank will get theirs next chapter. i feel like percabeth's getting all the attention overall ahahaha, but i can't stop myself. i JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH-

hoo is an interesting series. it's very hard to balance a story like that because the way rick did it, he introduced a new cast of characters while keeping the older fan faves (percy & annabeth) still VERY pivotal to the main plot. with this structure, he had the hard task of keeping the new characters fresh and interesting, while also having to make sure that he doesn't do a complete disservice to percy and annabeth, who are already well-known and incredibly loved within the fandom.

it's HARD. i am struggling with it right now, and i have a lot of respect for rick for accomplishing it (partially). i know i criticize rick a lot, but he hit a perfect balance with the first three books of hoo. tlh gave us good stuff from jason, leo, and piper with the PERFECT sprinkling of percy mentions and annabeth acting as a support. the son of neptune gave us all the percy content we were missing + 2 new characters with GREAT origin stories. the mark of athena gave us annabeth. and percabeth. need i say more?

the next two books are FUCKED. rick tried to give hazel her moment, but she is completely overshadowed by percabeth in tartarus. frank gets magicked hot and loses me entirely. leo went from being my favorite new character to my least favorite with the addition of calypso. idk what piper does, and jason is just a vehicle to show off the new favorite - nico. and then rick adds in the nico reveal, which, okay?? i personally was never THAT invested in nico, and his coming out (which is incredible for the lgbtqia+ community, not denying that) came out of left field, didn't align with what we saw of him in pjo, and his coming out itself was forced. literally. which left me feeling...super off about it. if he was gonna come out, it should have at least been his choice.

my point is: the house of hades has SEVEN POVs, a HUGE step up from the usual three, which is...a choice. percabeth (and to some extent hazel) gets the spotlight. the lost hero trio doesn't really get too much screentime other than leo meeting calypso, so why did we get ALL OF THEIR povs? and then...nico is thrust into the spotlight?? why???? we already have 7 characters to focus on. why did we need another? a mess.

and then, in the blood of olympus, we get...five povs. jason, leo, and piper, and...reyna and nico?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. i did not give ONE FUCK about the journey back to camp with the athena parthenos, and even if it was necessary, why did we need BOTH reyna and nico's povs? at the MOST we just needed one. i HATED leo's new lovestruck ramblings. and the characters that we had grown up with, percy and annabeth, were shafted on a whole new level. i don't remember frank and hazel getting much time to shine either. it's offensive. it's genuinely offensive.

with those last two books, rick completely shatters the balance he spent the first three books doing VERY well. with the last two books, i lose complete sight of who the fuck to care about within the new cast of characters, and so the only ones i DID end up caring about were the ones i cared about all along: percy and annabeth! and what happens to them? they are completely wasted in the final book. after tartarus, we needed one of their povs to know that they were okay, and we got none of that. yeah, NO.

i know i went the fuck off on this and i didn't mean to, i swear! it just gets me so angry, because rick just...was not making good choices towards the latter half of the series. his choice to include percy and annabeth in an important role in the new series was to keep the old audience hooked while still attracting a new one, and he completely botched it. if he was going to make them lynchpin characters, he should have given them the respect they deserve in the final book. if he wasn't going to use them, he should have just left them in supporting roles, the way he did in toa. you can't get both, and i think hoo proves that.

in the end, none of the characters got a satisfying ending (imo), other than maybe nico (LOL), and the audience isn't fuckin happy. or maybe they are, and i'm just an old bitter grandma in her rocking chair screaming about things long forgotten.

(a very late disclaimer: this is all just my opinion. you can disagree with me, and that's cool!)

[lostusagis]

@jiraipink asked:

"The first thing I noticed about you? Well... When I first met you, I remember accidentally bumping into you and thinking 'Oh he's really pretty.' Eheheh. That's probably normal for you to hear, right? I'm sure most women think that when they see you. However..." She cups her chin and stares down at his boots. The memory comes as a welcomed old friend through the door. A bashful, yet warm smile on her face when thinking fondly of that moment when he obliged to partake in her stupid prank and then looking both concerned for her and confused after his mistake. An honest idiot. A cute honest idiot. "What drew me in was... your willingness to help me. How you... didn't abandon me when I was in desperate help. How you expressed concern over my wellbeing."

A laugh suddenly escapes her as she scratches behind her head awkwardly. "Ahahaha! Th-Though, we ended up hating each other that day because of what I said, I honestly appreciated how you decided to show me a place where I could stay and didn't leave me alone since then.... I was really scared all by myself in this world, Mui. I was even scared of you admittedly, but... You didn't leave me there to die, despite you not liking me very much." She lowers her hand away from her head and twiddles her thumbs. Her gaze blinking slowly at the jewelry she's wearing on her fingers. They were the same ones she wore the day that they met.

"So even though my first thought was that you were pretty, the first impression you TRULY left on me that I noticed about you was... How kind you are." Funny, right? Especially how he acted towards her after attempting to help her. Yet, the reality was that he was kind to Namida when willing to assist her. It was as if... he was always meant to help her, because of how natural and casual he complied to her. She recalls feeling bad for saying something insensitive as a defense mechanism which led to their rocky relationship. Could... things have been different between them had she just trusted him from the get-go?

Oh how grateful she felt indeed to have met someone who could help her not get lost and not make her feel alone. He was someone who always distracted her of such lonely and homesick thoughts whenever they bickered or teased each other. Even now, he continues to help her. So so much. More than he knows. Cherished memories that evoke positive nostalgia. It was at this time she looks up at him with a shimmer in her amethyst eyes; staring at him for a brief moment of silence. Her black platform shoes then slowly leaning up on the tips of her toes and...

Chu~ ♡

Her pink glossy lips blesses his forehead with a gentle kiss that lingered there for a few more seconds. When she pulls away, her feet are planted flat again and she whispers with the most sweetest smile only Kamui can manifest. "Thank you, Kamui... Thank you for not giving up on me." (Bye I'm about to cry FUCK-)

what’s the first thing your muse noticed about mine? 

Kamui was definitely really interested in the first thing Namida noticed about him, although he wasn't too fond of the fact that they didn't get along when first meeting.....

Although, when she says the first thing she noticed was how pretty he was, Kamui couldn't help but smile. ''I do get complimented on my appearance a lot yeah, but I only like it when I hear it from you. It meant more from Namida because he knew her, and valued everything she thinks above all else. If she didn't think he was attractive, he'd probably be really bummed out over that. Kamui definitely knew she was complimented a lot herself. She was probably the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. Although, other guys..... looking at her the way he did.... Made him annoyed.

She was talking and he just kept thinking that when looking at her, but he had been listening intently to every word she'd say. He ended up really surprised when she'd say how kind he was. Namida mentioned kind things he did for her, and he'd feel.... embarrassed.

He didn't like being called kind, he was used to be referred to as scary, intimidating.... things like that. Not kind. No one ever called him kind.

She was calling him kind. She thought he was kind....

Well, he thinks about it.... she was the only one he didn't act awful towards, he treated her like he treasured her a lot, which was true. He did. She was important to him. But being called kind.....

He'd look down, cheeks red from the way his image was being ruined.

Kind... he was kind. Not intimidating. He was pouting over this. Although, when she went ahead and kissed his forehead and whispered what she did his eyes widened. Then looking at her silently for a few seconds. He was just..... astonished.

Namida thought these things about him. Thought he was kind.

Kamui pulled her towards him, keeping a grip on her wrist.

''You think that even after seeing me kill? Seeing me lost control?'' He questions, wanting to know.

''I hope you know, even when I am in control, I still kill. I enjoy it too. I find it fun. I'm not going to lie and hide it from you. I'm a bad person, and you think I'm kind? You can still say I'm a kind person after me telling you that?''

He'd look at her completely seriously, he wanted her to at least know that if she really wholeheartedly thought he was kind. If she can still say he was kind even after finding that out, then... well... he'll think she was crazy. But he'd probably like her even more because of that.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S2Ep2

A RIVERRRR

"After all, it's a family thing" Gabrielle is her familyyy

GABRIELLE RIDES CLINGING TO XENAAA

the maiden, the mother, and the crone

"Xena, it's not your fault" T_T

She kebab'd that guy

I know you, you're Xena yes we all know Xena my guy

UHOH. Does she know him? Yeah it is harder when you look at their dead faces, not hidden behind masks

THE THREE FACES OF FATE

"Spill but a drop of blood and it all changes back"

"As a warrior, you can't."

Oh shit. EVERYTHING changed back, from the beginning. From back before she lost him. But she lost Gabrielle now...

She looks so DOMESTIC

Awww, she appyyy

Uuuuhhh.... NOPE DID NOT WANT TO SEE THAT

Ooooh, this is a Name of the Doctor situation where every one of Xena's victories never happened. So instead, a ton of people she would've helped are suffering...

Who...? I don't know this guy

OH HER MUM IS DEAD :c

"I never meant for this to happen. I just wanted that boy's life back."

"The hardest part is losing you and Gabrielle." AAAAAA I AM NOT CRYING YOU ARE

The world is very much nOT a better place without Xena to protect it

Ooooh, they realise something's going on...

Oh no, soldiers being shitteyy

"Good thinking" she's trying to do it peacefully.

GABRIELLE

Xena is SHOOKETH

She seems very uncomfortable...

"Gabri-" AAAAA

"You've gotta go along to get along. That's how the world works."

Argh, this hurts...

AHAHAHA SHE MADE THE DOG LICK THE BREAD

She getting information about when they leave

NOOO THE AMAZONS DEAD OR ENSLAVED...

"It's not your fault the world's the way it is" hhhhhhmmmm...

She hid in hayyy

Sdjdhd a bag of wine

She'll try to get Gabrielle out isn't she

"Yeah I remember. You tried to buy me." OUCH

NOOOOO

I'm trying so hard not to make a comparison to Planetoid 50 audio... Because it's killing Xena that Gabrielle isn't like she knows her

Oh she's fighting without blood...

SHE GOT GABRIELLE OUTTTT <3

"You're right though, there's a reason I'm doing this. You remind me of my friend." AAAA

"The purest, the kindest person I've ever known."

*cough* "Break this enchantment, my love, and remember." *cough*

GABRIELLE MY BABYGIRL I LOVE U SO MUCH 😭😭😭

FUCK THIS GUY. EW. DISGUSTING. I HATE THIS SHITHEAD.

Now they're all locked up :(((

Xena don't you see you're losing everything

"I'd rather die fighting these bastards than live with myself if I don't" ough...

GABRIELLE IS CRYING NOOOO 😭

"If it wasn't for you I'd have never been free again"

"You gave me hope" GABRIELLE SHE LOVES YOU AND YOU LOVE HER

Did whatshisface sneak in to free them. Yes.

YAYYY FREE GABRIELLE and the brother

Maybe these two bois should kiss

Oop the brother runs to be a hero... He's gonna die either way.

I'm guessing her brother will be mortally injured, she draws a small cut later, and everything reverts.

"Where are your table manners" KICK

If she made someone's nose bleed

HOLY SHIT GABRIELLE STABBED HIM

SHE'S BACKKKK, And she saved the boy

It's her brother's token

AAWWWW SHE HOLDS HERRRRRR 🥺

They're so cute 💕🥰

[pink-pony-grrrl]

Journal Entry ‎♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

(note: all the names in this story are fake, i didn't want to post their actual names bc confidentiality or whatever) fuckkkkkkkkkkkhjgfdszxfcghvbjnk fucking shit man. Im fucking crying at school in the back of my history class. What the fuck man. I fucking hate this. Thank god no one at school follows this tumblr or else i would be so fucked oh my godddd. But basically, its my second closest friends birthday today right! Which is pretty awesome. Leaf had a sleepover with a few of our friends from school over the weekend over with Jessica, Solo, Nolan, and myself. Including Leaf, it was 5 of us. I was pretty excited bc its super sunny and nice outside, im going to Carnegie hall later, i was chillin. But the fucking LUNCH rolls around. My two friends, we'll call then Jesse and Gianna. Jesse and Gianna got up and left the lunch table and walked away. I thought it was kinda strange how they left and we only just sat down to eat our food. Then, my friend (we'll call her alexa) Alexa said "Hey, we need to talk." Uh oh. I looked at my friend (We'll call them Leaf) Leaf and I had a kinda "ahahaha, wtf is happening kind of facial expression." And Alexa was like "Why the fuck are you laughing." LIKE WOAH,,, calm down bro..... I laugh whenever I get nervous. It's a nervous tic, I can't fucking control it bro. But then, right after that, Alexa was like "We feel like some people in this friend group excludes some of us." Okay, I know what it feels like to be excluded. It hurts. I've been in super toxic friend groups and it's not fun. Alexa then proceeds to say "We feel like sometimes people hang out and don't invite everyone." WELL NO FUCKING SHIT,,, OUR FRIEND GROUP IS 10 PEOPLE, WE CAN'T INVITE EVERYONE EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME MAN...like.... Then Leaf proceeds to apologize and said something along the lines of "I'm sorry if I made anyone feel left out, i only had but so much space in my house. I couldn't inv every1" and then Alexa said "but you didn't invite Gianna and or Zara." WHICH IS A LIE. ON MONDAY ZARA WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO LEAF WHEN THEY MADE THE ANNOUNCEMENT??? I WAS LITERALLY THERE BRO, U CANNOT ATTEMPT TO GASLIGHT TWO PEOPLE....Leaf then made another apology (which they shouldn't have to do on their birthday...) After another apology from Leaf was made, Alexa pointed to Nolan and said "Let's start with you." Uh oh, where is this going..... "Nolan, we never brought up your ex and what happened with Logan was messed up." BRO, THE LOGAN THING WAS FROM LAST YEAR AND HE DID SEND A REALLY HEARTFELT APOLOGY, SECOND, YOU JUST BROUGHT UP THIS POOR BOYS EX. HE MADE HIS LIFE MISERABLE FOR YEAR FOR A REALLY TOXIC AND MANIPULATIVE PERSON. BROOO..... THIRD, WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO W/ THE ORIGINAL THING U WANTED TO TALK ABOUT??? THATS A WHOLE OTHER KID OF PETTY WHAT THE FUCK. Finally, it was time for us to head up. I texted Leaf and Solo and said "hey can we go up a different staircase." We did and started to cry on the third floor.

[echodrops]

The Promises I Made (2022)

...Aha ha ha...

Well, at least that’s over, I guess? I feel such a bone deep exhaustion I don’t even know what to say about this last year. Does anyone? One more year older, I suppose. Last year at this time I felt like I really needed to take it easy on myself going into 2022, but that just led to me drifting aimlessly through this last year as if stuck in a bad dream. Things really are still very rough...

2023 seems to be gearing up for another year of “Who knows?” Will it be better? Will another disaster strike? Let’s hope the former, and not the latter!

This year, like every year, there will be a new set of 50 promises to keep (or break), but in the mean time, here’s how I did on the promises from 2022!

Promises I Made (2022):

1) Get the Utah house chimney repaired before it falls down.

Status: Kept. It doesn’t look “brand new,” but it is properly sealed now and with new mortar between the bricks. Crisis averted.

2) Get both bedroom floors sanded in the Utah house upstairs.

Status: Broken. The Utah house needed a lot of improvements and unfortunately this wasn’t one of them that got done.

3) Get the Utah house sprinklers up and working ALL the way for this summer.

Status: Broken. I literally tried so hard to get someone out to work on these damn sprinklers and not a single person got back to me on this. Guess I’ll have to try again next May...

4) Actually get the back fence fixed up and the greenery back there trimmed and managed.

Status: Broken. I hate those goddamn vines so much. I HATE THEM.

4) Get an official exercise routine including walking/jogging, please.

Status: Somewhat kept. Most of the year I was pretty bad on this; however, I have a new puppy and she is learning to walk so I do got 4-5 miles a day now that she’s managed to work up to that.

5) Related to that, lose at least 20 pounds. 2020-2021 was not kind to me and the stress eating was real.

Status: Ugh, broken. See the above “sat around and did nothing but work for 3/4s of the year.”

6) Successfully set up and use the Roomba my family got for me to hopefully cut down on allergies.

Status: Broken. Okay listen. I was all ready to do this, then I got a P U P P Y. Who chews everything. The Roomba would not survive. It’s stationary until she gets a bit bigger and stops chewing.

7) Keep up with the specialist appointments that my doctor is making for me. No more getting confused on dates and missing…

Status: Kept. I actually managed to get in to see the RIGHT specialist this year who actually diagnosed my issues correctly. Too bad the recommended treatment is surgery that will be several thousand out of pocket...

8) Go see the dentist again because I think I broke/chipped one of my old fillings and it is not feeling good.

Status: Kept. The old filling was indeed broken, but it has been fixed!

9) Finish all the books I received as gifts from 2020 through 2021. It’s rude not to finish books people gave you out of love.

Status: ...Ahahaha. Broken. More books appeared, rather than disappeared, from the list.

10) Organize my documents (especially student papers)—my desktop and documents folders give me nightmares just looking at them.

Status: Damn, broken. I could have done this, but I didn’t think to do it before I left town for the holiday, and now I’m not on my home computer to do it. RIP.

11) Get my new SSD hard drive fully installed and working before going back to work.

Status: Kept.

12) Get a decent paper shredder to shred old mail.

Status: Broken. I completely forgot I made this promise. I do still need a shredder though. D;

13) Get the fucking post office to STOP delivering other people’s mail to my house. 90% of the mail that comes to the mailbox isn’t even for me and it is driving me C R A Z Y.

Status: Broken. Jesus fucking Christ. I am trying so hard. I talked to the postmaster TWICE and they still won’t stop delivering other people’s mail.

14) Get the Texas house dishwasher fixed… I’m so tired of washing dishes by hand… How do people do this, oof.

Status: Broken. I could have and I just didn’t.

15) Get a plumber to stop the dripping spare bathroom faucet and also check behind the wall in the side bathroom… This is gonna be expensive, ugh.

Status: Kept. It was fucking expensive.

16) Talk to an HR rep about my retirement savings so that I can consolidate my retirement accounts. I have been putting this off for like five years now.

Status: Broken. I completely forgot I made this promise. But damn I also still need to do this, lol.

17) Do at least one artwork to actually use that new paint program I bought.

Status: Broken. Oof.

18) Pay my credit debt down by at least $2000. I’m still paying off the hell year but I hope I can make progress on this.

Status: Broken. I was doing so good for a while there, then my car had a major issue that cost over $2000, my back fence blew down in a storm and cost $1700 to re-fence, and I had to pay over $800 for the above-mentioned plumbing fixes... Back in debt again. Fuck you, 2020s.

19) Be a super prepared boss and be ahead of the game on all major requirements for the semester, rather than feeling like I’m playing catch-up all the time.

Status: Broken. Spring 2021 was really good. I thought I did really well that semester. Fall 2021... was a nightmare. Just a complete disaster. I felt so far behind on everything from Day 1. I’m just praying I can do better this year.

20) See a groove-billed ani. This will be the year!

Status: DUDE, I kept this promise so hard that I no only saw a groove-billed ani, I ALSO saw a smooth-billed ani, which is like 100 times rarer. I saw some great birds this year!

21) Make it to 3500 followers on tumblr. You should follow me. I’m awesome. :D

Status: Broken. Despite the porn bots best efforts in November/December, I did not, in fact, make it to 3500. I would have had to POST something to get new followers, after all.

22) Update HaaH at least once. I will do this, no matter what.

Status: Broken. Jesus fucking Christ, I’m so bad at this.

23) Finish streaming all the new Marvel stuff with Kacchan.

Status: Broken. I was REALLY, REALLY close to caught up. Then Marvel released like 50 new movies and 500 new TV shows and I am very much giving up on this lmaooo.

24) Save up to finally buy one of those Ember heated tea mugs.

Status: Kept. My family bought me one for Christmas!

25) Do a better job of working with and representing the other disciplines in my department. I’m really good at advocating for English, but Communication and the foreign languages under my department need more support, and I need to step up for them.

Status: Kept, though mostly by necessity. All our full-time Spanish instructors retired so guess who had to help redo all the Spanish curriculum despite not speaking Spanish???

26) Use the sugar scrub Echo. Just use it. Pamperrrrrr yourself for once…

Status: Broken. It’s RIGHT THERE. Every day, I look right at it, and did I use it? Not even once.

27) Help my parents save money on their bills by consolidating their services and making some calls to retention of these companies for them.

Status: Somewhat kept? I honestly did try very hard on this one and was prevented from succeeding by my parents just being completely unwilling to change, even to save themselves money. Oof.

28) Bird watch in at least three brand new locations this year. I have a tendency to just go back to the places I know, and I’m probably missing some really great birding sites.

Status: Broken. I bird watched one brand new location this year, but alas, only one.

29) Keep up my medicine prescriptions successfully without letting them lapse.

Status: Kept. The new medicine is like the one thing standing between me and death, so I don’t usually forget it anymore lol.

30) Play with my dog and cat more often. They’re bored because I’m working too much, I know.

Status: Somewhat kept. I tried this year to cut down on the amount of work I brought home, but other situations made it really difficult to do so. My poor cat in particular definitely needs more attention.

31) Call an exterminator to finally get the ants that keep coming in from somewhere actually dealt with, instead of just spraying them with bug spray even other week and calling it good.

Status: Kept, in that the ants are gone? After I went away for the summer, there was no water running in the house, so the ants stopped coming in, and even after I came back at the end of summer, they just never came back? So I’m counting that as a promise kept?

32) This is super nerdy, but my bro got me the FFXIV cookbook and made me promise to actually use it, so I guess I’d better at least try to make something from it.

Status: Ooops. I forgot I made this promise. Broken.

33) Speaking of FFXIV: This year, I’ll obtain every in-game orchestrion roll. I’m already 80% of the way there.

Status: Broken. See, the issue with this promise is that they keep adding MORE orchestrion rolls... Not sure what I was thinking lol.

34) Get a new rose bush for the front of the Texas house and keep it alive.

Status: I did not do this. Broken.

35) Get King’s prescriptions moved to the closer vet so I don’t have to keep driving two hours away each month to get his medicine.

Status: Kept, in a sense. I was able to move his medicine over to the new vet, but unfortunately, there didn’t end up being any point to it. At the end of January in 2022, he was diagnosed with throat cancer. He lived until April 2022 and then passed away. My beloved boy...

36) Buy the Noragami volumes I am missing from my collection and do a full re-read of the series so that I can write meta about it again. Right now it just feels like there are so many things I can’t properly remember…

Status: Broken. I still greatly want to do this, but at this point, I’m kind of just waiting for the end of the manga so that I can officially catch up and re-read it from start to finish.

37) Go to Zion National Park with Derby.

Status: Kept. We hiked so much.

38) Go horseback riding on the island. I’ve never ridden on a beach before!

Status: Broken. I did not do this, RIP.

39) Eat healthier. Maybe cutting out snacks is too much to ask, but at least replace some average meals with salads, etc. and overall make an effort to actually eat better. Sometimes the fact that I feel garbage is my own fault.

Status: Mostly broken. The stress was so real this year.

40) Related to feeling like garbage: NO MORE WORKING AFTER 9PM. If it’s a real emergency, okay, but otherwise, it is time to set a boundary about working from home after hours.

Status: Broken. I must have been on crack when I made this promise, because honestly there is no way I could possibly have done the job I have without working to midnight many nights of the year... Someone save me...

41) Get a new office chair, an actual nice one, and some plastic to go under the chair to make it easier to move around.

Status: Broken. I... probably should have remembered to check in on the promises more than a few times this year because I also totally forgot this one.

42) Finish decorating the main office. I’ll feel better if my workplace reflects the level of professionalism and school spirit that I envisioned it having this year.

Status: Broken. I know exactly what I want to do with the rest of the office that isn’t decorated, I just never got around to it. T_T

43) Ensure our department successfully meets all its IEP goals this year.

Status: Kept! We were the first department to confirm completion of all goals!

44) Try to be more comprehensive with giving feedback to students. I’m always good at providing detailed comments on essays, but I’d like to spend more time commenting on smaller assignments too this year.

Status: Broken. I was trying in Spring 2022, but in fall, I was double over-loaded on courses on top of all the administrative work I had and could barely keep up grading at all, let alone give more feedback.

45) Write an FFXIV fic. Even if it’s just a one-shot, write something for this series. I need to express my love…

Status: Kept! I wrote a whole bunch for #FFXIVWrites and even received an art prize for participating! <3

46) Be more proactive about the cleaning. No more accidentally forgetting to take the trash can out to the curb. At least once a month do a full dust and vacuum of the house, not just the one room I spend the most time in (my office lol).

Status: Surprisingly, kept. I don’t really know why, but my house was somehow much cleaner in the latter half of this year. Did I unlock the secret stress cleaning routine?

47) Participate in NaNoWriMo. Even if I don’t finish, just participating again will feel great.

Status: Broken. There was zero chance I could have done this while overloaded on courses.

48) Get a screen door put on the side door of the Texas house. This really needs to happen and I can’t believe I just remembered.

Status: Broken, although not for lack of trying. I did actually have someone come to try to measure for a screen door, but it turns out the door is not a standard size and it would be way too much money to get a custom screen door made.

49) Don’t forget anyone’s birthday or any other holidays this year. (I forgot a close friend’s birthday last year due to being stressed with work and I’m still upset with myself over it.)

Status: Mostly kept. I did better this year--not perfect, but better!

50) I will keep my promises!

Status: OOF. Mostly broken promises this year. 2022 was another hard one. I’m on the struggle buss.

Kept: 16

Somewhat kept/somewhat broken: 3

Broken: 31

Good luck, 2023′s Echo!

[nananarc]

Alright so I know I'm a month late to this Art Summary thing, but I'm Vietnamese, and we don't consider the year to end until Lunar New Year (which in here we call Tết holiday). And today, is in fact, the true last day of 2022.

The pic in January feels like years ago actually. I felt like I'm a completely different person compared to back then, both in art and in life. As in, a more skilled and mature person (i hope?), but also beaten up and without all the high hopes and energy that I used to have. I guess it's a funny coincidence that I ended the year with that artwork depicting that particular scene in Truyện Kiều (The Tales of Kieu). She's beautiful, singing songs and citing poems, but in a whorehouse, trapped and melancholic. Well, I can't compare my life to hers. But I'm at that stage of life where it might seem like everything is doing ok but the ground under my feet is rumbling and cracking but no one else can see it.

I feel like "I have been getting it wrong, Father", quote Fleabag, and that probably reflected in my art a bit. At this point I'm just living for that momentary trance / manic / whatever you wanna call it that art is capable of sometimes putting you in.

I might sound all sad and shit and, well yes I am crying and basically a pink fur ball of anxiety as I write this, but I will be relatively fine. So, in order to remind myself of all the good shits that happened despite it all, I'll put a list of them under the cut. Mindful and all that shit, yeah?

No expectation or wish for the next year for me.

But Happy Lunar New Year, everyone! :)

Go by exclusively they/them now and even though I'm still navigating through this identity, I felt gender euphoria when, in eng speaking space, people start to refer to me with the right pronoun.

I still don't make much money, with only 1-2 commissions/month, and most months without any order. But all of my clients were such good people (well except for one, bitch turns out to be crazy as shit but not to me lmao, she was still fulfilling her end of the bargain), they are also good friends, and I love them dearly. They all gave me so much support and care through everything.

I tried edibles, ate a bit too much, was tripping balls so hard I had a disco dance game in my head but with 90s graphics and the characters are all of my worst anxieties. Also had that glitchy, time skipping, reality bending experience. It was all very fucking awesome. Not gonna do that again tho lmao.

Visited the MOCA in Bangkok and reignites the love I have for art.

Realized I am asexual and it was extremely freeing. I thought lewd thoughts more than I have ever been because of that ahahaha XD

Start to embrace the fact that I'm probably neurodivergent.

Got really good at making mods of the Cyberpunk 2077 game and I'm really proud of my works.

Finally got to treat one of the health problems that have been plaguing me for years.

Had some really fun hangout with my dear friend over a drink at small, low-key pubs. She used to refuse to even touch a drop of alcohol because all her experiences with it left too at an impression. Now she drinks for me if I can't finish my cocktail.

I bought 2 traditional dresses and I love them dearly.

Busted a bitch's fake ass for stealing art. That was fun because no one even realized the extend to how shameless that shithead was. But even then, I still have no hate ask, that is kinda a bummer tho lol.

I talked more to my classmates and even though I still don't really vibe with them that much, I appreciate them more now.

Starred in an indie movie. Wasn't a particularly fun thing the whole time, but it was an experience nevertheless.

Got more daring about my makeups.

[emberphantom]

Your history post is so fascinating to me as a foetus fan!!! Can we get a thing going where more of the IASIP fandom here does histories based on how they've perceived it? Btw are most fandom participants rn all pandemic/post-lockdown fans of Sunny (afayk)?

Ahahaha ty! Honestly the Sunny fandom in general is so fascinating. Like you can see remnants of the even older fandom if you go back far enough in the AO3 tag. MacDennis originally wasn't even that popular of a ship. iirc, CharMac was like the main ship of the fandom. Idk when the shift happened but that was obvi before my time. I wish i had the time to study it lol.

I would love to hear from others how they experienced that same time in the fandom as me. Literally I'm like Yo someone else take the mic...anyone? Please????? Hellooo????

Honestly I started like as kind of a lurker -- just RBing gifs and posts I liked. Then I started talking in the tags and interacting more with people which is not usually how I do things. Like i was FLOORED when at one point someone was like -- oh I consider you one of the main sunny blogs and I was like you--what!? Like girl that's insane to me.

I don't want to misrepresent anything either -- like I personally had so much fun during that time-- but one of the other factors that contributing to a lot people leaving was drama amongst ourselves. I stayed on the periphery of it bc again, not my style. But once people started to speak out against RCG and the shit they didn't like about certain episodes -- again all correct and valid as far as I'm concerned, people got fucking MEAN. Like the vocal folks started getting hate in their inboxes and on their posts and it just became hostile for a lot of people -- so they left.

Honestly I've stayed pretty active in the fandom since then -- as much as once could be. I don't create much content myself beyond and text post or a screen shot of a tweet or picture of Glenn here and there, so it was pretty dry here for a while. Post-June 2020 this place was a ghost town for a bit. Sunny Twitter kinda kept poppin' off but idk for me it wasn't the same. I just use the Bird App for different shite and it felt weird trying to make it a fandom space for me.

I did start getting a lot of my Sunny Asks (what i called all my messages about Sunny/MacDennis to keep track of them -- there's a whole tag of 'em) I think late 2020? So I guess yeah, that's a good indication of when things started up again. For me at least. s15 obviously also brought through more people and brought back some inactive peeps. During when s15 was airing and basically all of this year is when I started seeing more Sunny blogs pop up. I try to follow the ones posting consistently and about stuff relative to my interests where I can. So yeah, long-winded answer to your question, as far as I know, a lot of the Sunny fandom now is mostly people post-s14 airing and post-2020/2021.

[supermanandlois3]

RAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

FUCKING PIECE OF ROTTING BULLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!

AHAAAHAAAAHAAAAAHHAAAA!! HAHAAAHAAA!!

(You see what this series has done to me.

It's driven me crazy... 0.0)

WHHHHYYY!? WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHHHHHYYYYEEEEE?

FUCK THE WORLD!!!! DX

Update: 3/21/12

I just read the synopsis. Is this for real? Really?

REALLY!?

So, in order to remain safe from some oooh scary angels, Bethany and Xavier go to college!? Oh sure, just blow $100,000 and party and whatnot! I am working my ASS off just to afford the first year! You know what, fuck you!! You are going to college to hide while I am trying to go to college to LEARN and to better my FUCKING LIFE!

GODMOTHERFUCKINGDAMMIT!!!

(sorry, it's that time of the year when I am impatiently waiting to hear from the rest of the colleges I applied to and researching thousands of scholarships. It's a stressful time. -_-)

I am so glad I am not reading this shit. I hope Bethany gets what she's always wanted and gets her wings ripped off so that she can stay with Xavier as a mortal and DIE!! BAHAHAHAHAHA!! XD

Edit: 4/1/12

*stares at cover*

Is... Is this for real? Is this the actual cover?

........

BAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHA!! *snorts* AHAHAHA!!

*falls on the ground and kicks feet in the air* Teeheehee! Oh my god... Ha, ha, heh... That seals it, there is no god damn way I am getting this. I was worried that if the cover was too beautiful that I would have to get it. But this cover...!

*points at cover and laughs more*

Just go away! You are killing me!

Edit: 8/1/12

So I read the first chapter because a friend of mine gave me a link to it. At first, I didn't even want to read it. I had sworn that I would not even glance in this hideous book's direction, that I would plug my ears and sing, "La la la la!" if anyone mentioned it's name.

However, curiosity got the better of me.

UGH.

Yet, in a way, I am glad I read the first chapter. It helped me see what direction the book will go, and I do NOT want to go down the same path with this shit.

So its starts out where Hades left off. There is an earthquake, the ring falls to the floor, and Bethany is preparing to be sent back to Heaven or whatever.

But then the earthquake stops, and everything is honey-dorey.

Are you kidding me!? Hades left us hanging on an "oh-so-intense-moment" where we think something bad is going to happen, then its just ends!? But I suppose I expected this. Ally has a thing for over-dramatizing every little thing when, in reality, nobody gives a flying fuck.

After the little, "Oh it was just a warning tremor from God or whatever, no biggie!" Xavier and Bethany go to the church to get married. I noticed that the writing improved, but I still found myself skipping paragraphs and details here and there. Does the author have to explain every action of the characters and detail of the surroundings? I think I get the picture, Ally. I have imagination, you know!

So Father Mel holds the ceremony, and woohoo, Bethany and Xavier are married. I got up from the computer at that point and asked myself, "Do I dare continue with this atrocity?" I noticed I didn't have much longer to go, so I took a deep breath and continued on reading.

Then it (finally) started to get interesting. A Grim Reaper holding a scythe comes marching into the church. At first, I am all like, "Cool!" since I am a huge fan of Death and the Grim Reaper. I am hopping up and down in my chair, hoping that the Reaper has come to take Bethany or Xavier's soul (or maybe both, since I equally hate them) and exact punishment on them. But then the Grim Reaper turns on Father Mel, basically blaming him that Bethany got married to a mortal. He takes Father Mel's soul, and leaves the real culprits behind.

WHAT THE FUCK!!?

I hate this Grim Reaper! Why did he have to take it out on poor Father Mel!? Bethany is to blame! She started this whole mess!! I JUST DON'T GET IT AAAAAAGRRAAAJNGONDOGNINAISFN!! I WANT HER TO DIIIIIEEEEEE!!

So I am done. I can't... I just can't. Reading that first chapter completely sealed it. Done. Finito! I hate Bethany so much it makes me want to tear my hair out. I despise Xavier with a passion that I did not know I could ever feel. And I can no longer tolerate this stupid, pointless, aggravating, insulting, blasphemous, horrible, atrocious series any longer. This is the reason I no longer carry hope for the YA genre, when books like these get published and idolized, when people with actual talent get dismissed or ignored.

I will not read this... thing... I never will. I already have an ending tot his series, and I am sticking to it.

MY version of the conclusion to this series:

God- You are no longer fit to be my messenger! I strip you of your powers, your wings, and your place in Heaven!

Bethany- Nooooooooooooo!

(She gets banished, her get ripped off, and she is sent back to Earth as a mortal)

Xavier-Beth! What happened!?

Bethany-I am no longer an angel...(sobs briefly)... I am like you now. We can be together, and grow old.

Xavier-We can... Oh, Beth. We will be together till then end.

Bethany-Yes, and we--

(A bus runs over her. After that, she gets trampled by stampeding cows. Then, a group of bicyclists speed over her crumpled body. She dies)

Xavier-Nooooooooo! Why, God, why--!?

(Xavier gets struck by lightning. He dies)

God-That will shut him up. :>

The End

This is a review on Goodreads.com on the book Hates by Alexandra Adornetto

This reviewer gave this book a 1 star just read the review and see how full of hatred she is.

[kuro4thegays]

ahahaha relatable on a very personal level. i hate interacting and speaking face to face with real people. texting feels like heaven. i also hate going out too much to the point parents call me a vampire (i accept it cuz i feel so with how much i hate sunlight). and dw i totally get you. my mentality isn't the best istg. depressed most of the time with the straightest face ever so no one can read how panic and disoriented my mind is. loving 2d men cuz they aren't real. if they were real i would get shot in the forehead, im a loser.

about your cute question. honey, honestly its been very long since i first found you. i sent the 1st ask without tagging with the bunny icon because i just thought that i would slip through your life pretty quickly. of course another day when i was desperate about how little bottom male reader content was, i searched the tag and i saw your work. literally please im a fucking bottom i need to be bred not fuck those men. i have to block a lot of top reader and it becomes a hobby now.

pretty sure i absolutely adore "steam" the most. it felt relaxing and... yeh i cried a bit when i first read it. felt like being held in an invisible hug. btw, i've noticed this, because the tag system in tumblr is very messy, can you spare some time to make a master list? it's super hard to find all of your works because not all of them show up when i search "archive". 🐰

Lol my family calls me a bat, so you're not alone on that one. And with depression, yeah, I'm stuck living a double life at this point. 2D men are my true passion.

I think I might have started this blog out of desperation too. Like at some point I figured out that I'm probably not going to get that much bottom male content if I don't make it myself and like why not share it? My first work was actually a rewrite of an older one(it was so cringy I'm not sharing that with anyone). It might have been a irrational midnight idea, but I'm glad I'm here. Really happy that you liked Steam though, useful information for the future...

Oh, and the masterlist, hahah.... I told myself that I would make one when I write at least three fully finished fics... Currently I'm on five and just forgot. But certainly thank you for reminding me. The weekend is coming up so I'll probably have time to spare.

[ughgoaway]

I hope we both manage to get to the concert, we are in this together fr 🫡

I hope so too!! Im not going to the o2 but ill search up to see if they have accomodations because it will chill me out a bit

I am distracting myself also with what im gonna wear and make up and all that because i know ill sell the ticket if i overthink it too much 😬😬

Hearing other people feel the same calms me a bit tho, i hate social anxiety so much 🥲🥲

I know we both are gonna be able to enjoy our concert!! Its just difficult atm but im sure we will 🫶🫶

yeah I like to sort out EVERY LAST DETAIL. like down to the minute because it helps me chill out lmaoooo!!

ooh im sure you're gonna look phenomenal with your outfit and makeup!! I can't wait to hear about how good the concert was!! (manifesting that we both actually go lol)

honestly social anxiety is the fucking worstttttt, it makes existing impossible!! it will be difficult, but when we're watching matty dance around like a twat on stage I'm sure our anxiety will melt away ahahaha

[vizthedatum]

I hate that I'm grieving

I've hated it the whole time.

--

Me in Dec 2022 to my friend who is being so gentle with me about my grieving: "Yeah, the goal is to get through this month, get a job, and then I'll finally have my meltdown ahahaha" Him: *sighs while giving me a look*

--

I'm grieving majorly every single day. The days I haven't cried have been... less than five?

Every single session of crying or waves of crushing sadness comes with its own catharsis.

Ugh, it's like that feeling of going up the slope at the scariest part of the rollercoaster in a very unsafe, definitely unlicensed pop-up amusement park in midwestern America... you know, your heart is about to explode because you are TERRIFIED of heights and you're pretty sure the physics of this doesn't add up but who knows because that is the one science you never had the brains for. And then when you slowly peter out to the top and for a few moments - clarity, amazing view, appreciation for people and nature - and then the drop begins, and all you hear are screams. At the end of the ride, you're left with a smile on your face because the adrenaline, the terror, the release... was all just too good. Your body feels wobbly, and you think "am I strong enough to face my fears again such that I can feel that good again? so that I know I can make it through?"

--

... it takes so much to go through it day after day, not knowing when you can just fill your life and your thoughts with a more balanced distribution of emotions and experiences. I want to fucking relax for a bit.

I've had so many good times since I left, and I won't stop saying it, but I am physically stronger now. I have so much of my social and physical freedom back. I have so much good love and support in my life. I have more fulfillment every day from my activities. AND I cry about all that too. I cry about my previous loss of life. I lost parts of myself. I cry knowing that I almost had a child with them. I'm thankful every day that I told them I didn't want to anymore, knowing that I would then... never have a child as long as they were in my life. I cry about all my hopes and goals for our relationship and life. I wanted to face our challenges hand-in-hand - I thought we could do anything. We couldn't even do us.

--

I am stronger and happier now. I know it takes time, but I must trust that I will be more than my grief one day.

I'm probably going to still be angry about this whole process though - it fucking sucks and even though your skin is glowing and you can laugh easier with your friends, don't let anyone tell you that grief doesn't feel like a train going over the chest of your weak human body continuously while memories of the best times with your ex play through in your head.