#i hate my moms house so fucking much
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
MY DAD JUST ASKED IF I WANTED CAKE AND MY BROTHER IMMEDIATELY SAID "no she doesn't deserve any" WHAT THE FUCK ??????
#IVE BEEN OUT FOR SO LONG HE KNOWS IM NOT A GIRL I HATE HIM SO MUCH#HE KNOWS I HAVE PROBLEMS AND HES JUST FUCKING MAKING FUN OF ME#AND EVERYONE JUST MOVED ON AND IGNORED IT???#i hate my moms house so fucking much#I LIVE WITH MY DAD. FOR A REASON !!!#i dont want to be here dude#im not making this up i swear this is fuckung normal
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ive just progressively wanted to exist less and less and less in front of others for like years now and on my worst days it really gets to me
#kae.txt#i wish i was smaller in every sense of the word i dont want to be thought of#i cried to my mom and she had to leave the house and the way she said she'd be back sounded like she was really worried id do something and#i hate that i hate it so much i never wanna make her feel like that but i just cant help it im really tired#i hate even venting about it here cause god forbid i get a message about someone worrying about me#makes me feel fucking awful#sorry i started thinking again oops#ill be over it by tomorrow though thats always how this happens
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry to boohoo whine woe is me but girl i am so sick to death of being hungry. every DAY you have to eat sometimes multiple times a day. and while i know how lucky i am that i have the means to acquire food my options are 1. eat junk food 2. go out of my house and spend 1 million dollars at some fast food chain i'm probably supposed to boycotting 3. remain hungry. and i have to make this decision multiple times a day!!!!!
#personal#hurricane blogging lol#we were going to my brother's house for at least one hot meal a day#but he's out of town for work and he's also fucking sick of us#what's worse is that every time i do get access to hot food i eat as much as i can hoping that it will be longer before i get hungry again#and then overeating just makes me feel bad in a different direction#i'm gonna gain 20lbs and feel hungry the entire fucking time#anyway my mom had the bright idea to try hot dogs#the grill is too dirty to use and she hates cleaning it but we do have a little stove eye with it#so whwn they get back from some church concert theyre gonna go to the store and then drop by my aunts house so she can feed her cats#and THEN we will boil hot dogs. at least 2 hours from now. delicious.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
[ID in alt text] my magnum opus
#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#lilith clawthorne#i have hcs about their dynamic but they're mostly comedic tbh#like yeah it's fucked up that Lilith had beef with a child but it's also pathetic and i think that takes the edge off it tbh#hunter kinda knows this. he doesn't like her and i appreciate it when ppl read it as ''hes walking on eggshells around her''#based on that one dana art#i think it's a fair read#but i personally like to read it as equal parts nervousness and annoyance at having to be placed with Mean Un-Fun Lilith#hunter thinks she's a loser and has no idea why she hates him so much. he's just trying to do his job man#(my personal elaborate hc as to how this dynamic formed is that hunter as a child used to think Lilith was cool! he wanted to be like her!)#(unfortunately his braggadocios persona as the golden guard gave Lilith the impression that he was Out For Her Job and also Life)#(and bc she's Lilith these threats from a child are taken seriously. she will play nice when Belos is around but she DOES NOT TRUST HIM)#(and she's just not going to interrogate her own insecurities regarding yet another bubbly teen prodigy coming in and stealing her thunder)#(she is definitely not getting reminded of her own insecurities related to eda being better than her growing up. no sir)#(she totally doesn't see the emperor as her mom whaaat that's crazy)#(ANYWAY post canon i think they could be good friends. bitchy friends but good friends)#(someone the other comes to when they need a brutally honest opinion! steve hangs out with them too. ex emperor's coven buddies!)
214 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south
#Cw gun mention I guess#I was feeling super nauseous so I went into the kitchen to get ritz crackers#And we're at my grandma's rn for Christmas and she has windows in the kitchen that look out at the road/other houses#And NO curtains or blinds because she's old#And anyway I turned a small light on so I could see the crackers and I hear a fucking man outside shout “WHO'S OUT THERE”#In the heaviest southern accent. Mind you every fucking person in this area has a gun bc there's lots of trees with squirreld they shoot#And logically now that I am calming down I know it was just a bad coincidence and he was probably yelling at smthn in his yard#But jesus fucking christ I felt such immediate intense fear my head went cold#Ran to my baby brother's room bc I was certain someone was gonna come kill us#Then the rationality took over and I just told my mom about it. But now I'm sitting outside his room eating crackers bc I'm fucking paranoid#It is almost 4am and I haven't slept a wink I cannot do this rn#But literally the last time I went for a walk around here my dad told me not to go alone and also not to say anything stupid#And also stay far away from houses bc I could get myself shot#Literally what the fuck is this.#“Afearican” except I'm still very much in the US#Not to mention almost every fucking house has a blue lives matter flag and some have isr*el flags now too like#I fuuuuucking hate it here
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Is that character gay? *points at Mine*
Allegedly.
#snap chats#depends on what day you check the wiki. schrodinger's homosexual#i couldnt FATHOM showing mine to my mom i know she'd be so annoying 😭😭😭#actually i cant even imagine what'd happen. 'is he gay' 'yeah' 'oh-' LIKE WHAT. WHAT NOW MOTHER WHAT HAVE YOU SAY TO THAT#like i think my mom asks that so much as a cope for my existence when i dont even like men mom As Per Usual mother you got it wrong#she's so weird because her. 'best work friend(? boss?)' is gay so she doesnt care about gay people she just doesnt like. me LMAO#but my moms selective hating aside i do wish i could show her characters i like#not because i want to bond with her but because it always seems funny when everyone else does it with their parents#but id just be too embarrassed ... or i can just imagine her saying like. every other chara is scary lookin. or ugly. liek my grandma did 💀#my sisters keep telling me to show her daigo since they think he looks like our dad and im always tempted to#god wait that just reminds me how when i did a daigo cosplay last year my dad saw me and he was like 'you're like a mini me :)'#like .... cmon dawg youre not helping LCKAEJLKCJAE love him. hope to see him again soon <- literally just saw him#wait while im rambling my dad came over and our 'uncle' (no actual relation just dad's friend) gave us. 12 fucking bottles of wine#when no one in this house drinks enough to warrant TWELVE BOTTLES ?? so funny. at least my sis and her husband drink#and i have one (1) friend who drinks LOL so thats cute. do i have any other unnecessary lore bits to drop before i disappear for a week#our ac broke and its been hot as balls. yeah thats it thats the end of it see you guys next week
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I promise none of you have family drama that even compares to mine
#i will always always have the craziest fucked up family in a room#not even in an abusive way even though my mother is nuts#some characters in my family: flat earther aunt; uncle whose day job is birthday magician but whose real job is landlord#(i dont like that uncle much.)#gay drag queen cousin x2#brother who ive met 5 times ever who is a cop?????#i dont like him (he illigally evicted me from my fucking house)#sister who owns 5 horses (she helped my brother evict me we also hate her)#cousin who got a trust fund from a law suit as a baby but bc she dropped out of school at age 10 (flat earther mother didnt bother to keep#her in school) she is spending thosuands on like. spa days. when she could buy a house#father who was cheated on by his first wife. with the neighbors wife.#as in his wife cheated with the neighbors wife in the fucking late 80s#dad who cheated on every woman he was ever with (exept the first wife) (who was a lesbian) (they had 3 kids) (so like 5 women) with my mom??#oh and my other brother was born missing like 4 chromosones or something and he is one of like 4 people in the world who have what he has#and didnt die at 5#like when i say my family is fucking bonkers i REALLY MEAN IT
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
many lines in tpn dub are delivered in such a way that they are able to take permanent residence in my brain and routinely beat the shit out of me. this is how you know if an anime dub is good
#skye's ramblings#thinks abt don's 'i... hate this. i wanna be stronger' in ep 6... actually the vast majority of don's lines in ep 6. and in every other ep#or any of ray's outbursts n how whenever he gets angry he sounds like he's about to cry bc hes just a kid n hes so fucking stressed! fuck!!#or how you can tell krone's va was having the time of her life. or 'even if it's fake. being a mom means you get to feel human.' AUUGH#phil is also really good especially in the last ep. my poor little fucking beepo........#or rays snarky little '...and you still don't trust me. i might cry.' to isabella in ep 5. i hate them so much#or the whole scene of norman n emma running back to the house after finding conny. fucking heartwrenching delivery from both of them. man#also gildas voice acting. no specific notes i just really love gildas dub voice <3#and after being held hostage in a call by my lovely friends to rewatch s2 i can confirm. the voice acting is the only redeeming quality#dub cast deserved better than s2 maan. laura stahl and cedric williams work so hard to keep my remaining sanity intact past ep 3 <3#maan its things like this that make me want to be a voice actor. ifucking love voice acting
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Was doing so good holding it together today but now that I’m laying down and trying to sleep I’m tearing up and I can feel that I’m about to burst into tears any second now
#my mom called me like ten minutes before I was off work today#and asked if I had talked to my grandpa lately and I was like yeah some why?#I’ve been showing what I’ve been cooking with him and my grandma because I was proud of myself#and she was like oh so you know about his potential surgery?#and I was like. his what???????#apparently his pace maker is dying and malfunctioning and he needs a new one#but this is the third time it’s had to be replaced and as he’s gotten older he’s had a lot more health issues#and they’re not even sure his heart can handle getting it replaced…. he has an appointment tomorrow to find that out#and no one told me. no one fucking told me it was that bad and I’m so#like man my feelings on my grandparents are so insanely complicated but I do love them#I love them so much and they practically raised me and loved me more and treated me better than my mother EVER did#they’re the only family members I’ve ever been legitimately terrified and upset over not accepting me cuz I’m queer#like my mom and siblings? I could not give a flying fuck if they hated me for my gender or sexuality#if my grandparents had a bad reaction I think I would fucking kill myself#and idk the point is I love him and I’ve barely seen him at all the past few years because we live far away now and I never visit because I#hate the rest of my family#but what if he can’t have this surgery?????#or what if he can but something goes wrong??????#what if he’s dying and I’m only able to go down and see him one more time#and he could be fine. it might all work out and he could be fine#but man I’m terrified that won’t happen because WHY WOULD NO ONE TELL ME ANY OF THIS#and yeah no I’m fully crying now I can’t do this#he taught me to draw and he built the house I grew up in and he got me into lord of the rings and would take me book shopping#and and and I’m gonna fucking throw up#kaz rambles
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hah, so uh how to explain to my parents that I have reconsidered wanting to move back to the wannabe fascist state after all
#personal#vent#my folks are real attached to tx#understandable thats where they grew up#but i kinda wonder if they realize that its not the same tx they grew up in anymore#its to be close to family and because one story houses being more of the norm over there means my mom could get some independence back#and i understand it from those angles#i already tried to have the fight with my mom years ago about just going back without me#not only did she say i was shortsighted for cutting myself off from a support structure#(i wanst i had friends who could help should shit happen but whatever)#she also called me selfish for being the only one who wanted to not go back and keeping everyone else here#at this point my folks would be better off going back because they're not going to see too much of the blowback of The Shit(tm)#but i would and that sucks#it was one thing when the plan was to stay around austin but now that's not even in the considerations anymore#i hate feeling like i have to martyr myself for their sake#when the easy answer is for them to go back and i stay here#its not like i visited home all that much when i was on my own in the same town#so cross country wouldnt be all that different#i guess i could get them there and then figure out how feasible it is to move to colorado or something after the fact#but then i really would be throwing out my whole support structure because i wouldnt even have friends to lean on#anyway i fucking hate being in this position
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
ohhhh i didn’t think it was possible to be more exhausted than i was this morning. but here i am
#was at my sister’s house for like 4 hours planning and talking abt what needs to be done#i felt So fucking bad this morning. now i am in slightly better spirits but im just Completely exhausted#i hate all of this. i hate that i have to be here in this house for this. i hate that so much falls onto me bc of that#i hate that i was ready to get stabilized here and then this shit happened#and i hate that no one else in my family hates him Nearly as much as i do so i feel completely alone in having No good memories#and i hate that i had to experience the entire process of him dying firsthand#between his deterioration and him being collapsed on the floor#i hate that no one seems to understand how deeply traumatizing that was#i hate that everyone is saying nice things about him and he traumatized me So deeply and was just a piece of shit imo#and i hate tjat i have to continue living here and grieving over someone who i have fucking hated my entire life#and provide emotional and physical support for my mom who i also 75% hate#anyway. fuck my life ig
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh my god i didnt think my night could get worse
#camera talks#and like i felt okay earlier !!!!#my migraine Sucked and really really hurt#but i was feeling happy and ive been like super in control of my emotions for a hot second and i was so so content and in love#but now im just. fucking crying in my bed again#might have to go in the closet and sensory deprive myself bc im not doing good#my migraine was so so bad#but my dad decided rn was a great time to Yell at cam over dinner for not getting up and doing something for him earlier#even tho im literally working on my graduate or not fucking project#and it was like. one of his bad bad yelling fits where ive gotten used to it bc i grew up with it but fuck it doesnt make it better#and now i just feel stupid and worthless#and he yelled at my mom and its her birthday tomorrow so i feel bad for her#and im just. god what the fuck#i hate this#i need to get out of this stupid house its so fucking suffocating#i want to run away but i cant and wont obviously. i dont even know if i'd have a fucking place to go if i feel unsafe ever#god god god godd. i dont want to be here.#and like the worst part is im not unhappy with my life in fact im so fucking happy with so much i have Beautiful people in my life#and im in Love and i have days and moments where im Happy#but this is something i cant get out of rn#and i dont know what to do its not living im fucking dying.#vent#delete later#sorry. might need to log off idk.#i need to do this project but everything hurts. whatever
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.
and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.
and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.
and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.
#hey Siri play In Color by Jamey Johnson for me please#music stuff#you should’ve seeeeen it in cooolllloor#Seven.txt#Seven’s Public Diary#normal Sunday night behavior#me? up all night hyperfocused on cleaning out my depression cave to achieve a sense of change and accomplishment -#- and ignoring every other aspect of my life including abandoning time sensitive tasks lest i get distracted and lose all motivation???#more likely than you think!#i’ve been at this since new years and i’m only like. halfway done. Gods help me#like i don’t mean ‘cleaning’ as in doing some light dusting. i mean there’s junk and trash piled 2/3rds of the way to the ceiling#when i call this room my depression/mental illness cave i Mean it#but no longer. i shall finally return this room to an acceptable state for the first time since. uh. 2022? i think?#i found a plastic container of dates buried under some laundry and the sticker says they’re from March of last year lmao#i forgot about those/thought i threw them away. but they were thankfully sealed so well that they hadn’t drawn any bugs#and oddly enough hadn’t even visibly molded/gone bad. but i didn’t open them up for a smell test i just chucked ‘em in my giant trash bag#i’m finding all kinds of shit i forgot i even had which is nice but it’s also distracting me like those pictures did#i’ll have to show them to her and ask her about them tomorrow#and ur probably like ‘u found old pics of a girl that looks like you why didn’t you immediately recognize ur own mom’#and 1. there’s countless pics of countless old relatives around this house that i barely/don’t recognize and never even met#and 2. i’ve barely ever seen any pics of my mom from such a young age so i have no images to reference in my mind#and it just fucked me up bc. i don’t look like her anymore. i only see Him in the mirror. but i Used to look like her. i’m turning into him#and i fucking hate it so much. i don’t like that she looks at me and sees him. great now i feel sick.#anyways thats enough reminiscing i need to get some water and food in me and get back to cleaning. i shan’t rest until i’m satisfied#well. my period + depression combo kinda Did make me rest which is why it’s taken 5 days but still. the horrors persist but so do i#it’s not just for the sense of accomplishment tho. i also need to move the 75gal tank out of the living room thanks to the floor situation#so i’m trying to make room in my room for it since it has the newest & strongest floor. i just need to find a level spot thats big enough#my back is gonna be so fucked after all this cleaning that i’ll have to rest for a fucking week before moving that heavy ass glass box#i hate moving big aquariums it makes me so anxious. and i literally don’t know if i’ll have anyone capable of helping me#so it might not even happen and it’ll just have to sit empty in the living room forever. but Maybe he can/will help me
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
1st day of december and i'm so depressed i can't get out of bed. 😔💔
#*carly catalogs#my oldest brother decided to stop taking his meds and has been snorting coke for awhile now apparently#(he's bioplar too btw)#but instead of forcing him out to glo seek help....#my mom just keeps welcoming him over to our house with open arms claiming “all my kids are welcome into my home” bs#completely failing to understand or realize that this affects my bpd just as much#i HATE my family and i'm so fucking done with all of them#i feel like i was misplaced when god created me to be with these people bc wtf??????#bc how can you welcome a bipolar coke addict into your arms so easy???????#when she had no problem booting me out to go with my abusive father whom i've always been afraid of....#when i was going manic and spiraling over my bpd diagnosis#i fucking hate it here#i will NEVER have any strong family feelings towrds these people i genuinely HATE them alllllll#and i'm not even sorry about it i'm not sorry at all for hating them#i'll scream it from the top of my lungs!!#i hate my mother! i hate my father! i hate my brother's! I HATE EVERYONE!!!!!!!#uggghhh sorry 😞#as you can probably tell i'm not doing so well at all 😔💔#tbd
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#vent#things aren't going well in my house and i have no one to talk to since my friend is still recovering in the hospital#my parents just had the worst fight they've had in over a decade#no details but my dad tried to get my brother and i involved#threatened to leave or kill himself and all that#my mom broke down screaming that he hates her and she hates herself#it's such a fucking mess#thankfully my brother isn't too fazed by this because of his autism (his words) he just wants everyone to be okay#however hearing my parents in a screaming match is probably the biggest trigger for my anxiety#i feel sick#i miss my friend so much right now#it really feels like we'll never be happy again
3 notes
·
View notes