#i hate it when a song fits my source so fucking well i hate it so fucking much

[ofcoffee-andletters]

FFXIV Write day 28 - Deleterious

WoLG'raha - Toxic edition Middle of Endwalker

Deleterious : harmful often in a subtle or unexpected way

———————

My inspiration.

That’s what he had been called, once, and then a few more times after. Sometimes he would stare at the source of those words from afar, look at him smile and be a bit shy, do his best to try to fit with what he considers some of the best people he could’ve found.

Heroes all of them.

And then those crimson eyes find him, and he can’t stand his devoted look, the amount of love and admiration he finds within that gaze.

So he grumbles and walks away.

————

It is never lost on him how G’raha yearns to accompany him everywhere, how he is always ready for anything as long as he goes along.

Sometimes he wonders what would it take for the other man to realize that he is not what he pictures, what he refuses to see, what he keeps painting over with his idealistic dreams and a hundred years of idealization — he never ends up acting on those impulses because he does not want to hurt him.

Far from it.

Which is more the reason why every single interaction with him kills him inside, slowly.

——————

They fight — a lot.

It all started because of a passing comment while he was recovering still, another scolding, a joking one and yet it had been the last straw.

Screaming came, and then unsaid grievances came, yelling and grabbing each other with the need to make the other understand and stop being so fucking stupid.

And there’s no hiding it, as much as he wants to run away from the truth, he knows the reality — as much as he hates how their relationship seems to advance, he knows he does nothing to stop it. Because he likes this.

It hurts.

Every word of devotion, the willingness to die for him, the readiness to claim he is a Hero. The pressure that he is the inspiration, the reason G’raha endured for a hundred years, and yet he cannot be, truly, what the other man wants and needs. He is not the Hero who died fighting, he is not the Hero who had songs and myths made for him in a distant cold and bleak future.

He is just himself.

And when he finds G’raha again, after yet another fight — he wants to yell at him, be angry, demand that he stop putting him on a pedestal he doesn’t want to be. To stop looking at him like he has answers to everything, like he can stop whatever the world, the fate, the entire Universe throws at them.

“…You’re a fucking idiot.” The Warrior of Light can’t stop himself and he makes G’raha wince and then frown, but before he can even complain, Brucie has already grabbed him by the clothes.

There’s a hug, so tight, using way too much strength to the point he worries he may hurt G’raha but…but… “You’re my idiot, though…so I guess this is just my lot now…”

The other miqo’te sighs, his eyes are closed and he hugs his inspiration back, “One day you could try to not attack me on sight…”

“…That is never going to happen, and you know that…I love you, but you’re infuriating, and annoying. And…” G’raha pushes Brucie away, softly. “What?”

“…You’re also an idiot.”

They both stare at each other, and then they laugh softly, because this is stupid. This is childish to a point — and unhealthy. They don’t talk about their actual issues, they don’t touch the root of the problem.

They just accept that they both use the other, as much as the other might want to deny or claim that…well, that was never the intention. But somehow they work. They fit. They’re not fine and it will be a long time before they’re fine — and maybe, that day…

They can truly love the other for who they are and not the shadow of what they yearn for.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Consider a hypothetical Twilight: The Musical. What slice of plot would you adapt as the best fit? Who sings the villain song? Who sings the "I want" song? What's the award-bait song about?

(Bonus points for referencing other musicals to explain this one. Minus points for giving that Denali jerk Sleezy-ar a singing role.)

Caveat

Is it good or is it a cash grab?

The thing about adapting to a musical is it's hard and I have yet to see it done well for something that is a series and not a single film or novel (note I haven't seen any of the Japanese anime musicals but I'm very dubious on how something that when adapted for screen takes 40 hours or what have you can suddenly become a two and a half hour show).

The thing is, even for novels and films, there's usually significant cutting involved to adapt the source material for the musical stage. There's just not enough time to show everything and you have to get creative.

What I'm getting at is what you say, you cannot fit the whole series into one show. There's too much character development that you can't really cut down without it not making sense anymore. If you do only a slice, you then miss out either on resolution of the story or else things needed to make this make sense.

If it's a cash grab, also, they have to hit as many points in the book as possible so the fans will be happy and come in. This means what the musical essentially becomes is just a montage of Edward/Bella moments and skipping through the rest of the plot so that we somehow do manage to get all four books into one show.

Alright, We're Being Serious

In my opinion? The best thing to do would be to do Twilight but make some serious modifications so we can make it seem like the characters go somewhere.

Personally, I'd do an introspective tragic show about Bella's choice on whether to become a vampire or not, what that will mean, and what she'd be giving up.

The plot remains essentially the same, due to strange internal family reasons of her mother remarrying and Bella feeling like a third wheel, she moves to Forks this town she hates. She quickly notices that something's not right with Edward Cullen and when he saves her from a van realizes he's superhuman. Things begin escalating when Bella learns that he's a vampire and he saves her again, giving her a chance to confront her. Edward is in love with her but warns her that being a vampire is a miserable existence and not one he'll ever bestow on her. She meets the Cullens, the James thing happens, and the difference is that I'd end us in the hospital and change the scene a little bit.

Edward has prevented Bella from becoming a vampire, Bella again tells him this means she's mortal and will leave him, he agrees to that and asks her again to consider what she's asking for. Bella then has a moment of introspection where she asks if this is really what she wants, if Edward wants her at all if he keeps wanting her to die, if she can live without her family and her ordinary human life, and whether she's willing to lose everything on the chance that she'll be happy upon being a Cullen.

The show ends with Bella telling her mother that she'll be staying in Forks, cementing her decision to pursue Edward no matter the consequences.

The Structure

Since you said bonus points for other musicals, I imagine the thing to be a lot like Yentl. Bella's the only one who gets to sing and it's her internal thoughts and explanations.

She explains why she's moving to Forks and her home life in the opening number, on her lack of optimism about it, but sense of filial duty in doing so. She sings about noticing Edward's supernaturalness and why the fuck doesn't anyone notice and is she a freak?

The "I Want" number is her singing about how she wants Edward and is in love with him (but really what she wants is to be special herself, someone loved by him, someone like the Cullens).

There's no villain song because while Edward isn't exactly a 'good' character in this (being enigmatic, inhuman, and generally terrifying), he's a temptation and not a villain, and James is not really enough of a character but more a "this is what you might become on taking this path".

And again, the show is about Bella and Bella's choices, the others don't get to have musical numbers as it would distract from the isolation of Bella's thoughts.

The award-bait song is a very Rose's Turn from Gypsy style number where the climactic song is at the end of the show, in which Bella's had this whole time to learn something, and now must make realizations about herself/make a decision of whether she stays in Forks or returns to her mother and goes to Florida.

[bookscandlesnbts]

https://www.tumblr.com/juliapark13/732893175270785024/httpstwittercomjkyoongsstatus171997404125005?source=share

I've a doubt. In the comments every US army saying they nor locals care about artist's sexuality and queer concept they put out. Make sense as there are multiple queer artists who are so successful in west. Whole world was singing 'unholy' by a non binary person lol. If it's catchy enough not even conservative country fans gives af about artist sexuality or gender imo. So how this narrative of JK chose het image to enter western market make sense ? He could get exactly the same results by staying to his authentic self isn't it ? Isn't it just a narrative made by shippers to convince themselves that he's still queer even if he's doing het songs to keep their ship floating? 🤔🤔 I really don't have a problem if he was queer but any excuses given doesn't make sense regarding his choices. Atp the only sensible explanation I can think of is that he's het, it's his choice to portray himself in this concept, it's him choosing to sing about het sex back to back, he agreed to having female lead actress in all his chapter 2 mvs. He kinda confirmed it by saying it wants to show different sides of HIMSELF. So maybe that's what it is.. simple 🤷‍♀️

I’m tired of explaining myself. This is the last ask I’m going to answer of this kind because y’all don’t read my other responses, and these asks are boring.

Idk what planet you are on but Unholy was not well received by any means. Sam Smith was hated on for the outfit they chose to perform in, and these accepting Christian conservatives that you claim will listen to anything hated the song, hated Sam’s peformance, thought it was devil music, hated Kim Petras because she’s a trans woman, and only deemed it acceptable when they could change their lyrics to fit around the god they believe in.

Sex still sells period. And specifically heterosexual sex. Fans do care. The market does care. The majority of major songs if they are about sex are hetereosexual sex.

Jungkook didn’t “choose” this image. Pay attention to what he has said about this album and what Bang PD said too. It almost didn’t happen. Jungkook had nothing written and no inspiration. He needed to release a solo album for chapter 2 so he and Bang PD shopped for songs. Songs in English from 🛴. Those are the facts. He’s portraying the image that fits those songs and the western market. If the songs are hetero, he has the look with his muscles and tattoos to pull it off. This has nothing to do with shipping. I’m not creating a narrative because I don’t want to accept JK being hetero because doing his job shows nothing about his sexuality. I’ve been screaming since this started that singing songs with “girl” and “she” does not change someone’s queer sexuality.

The biggest issue I have with this ask and what I always have with these asks is WHAT CHOICE DOES JUNGKOOK HAVE. Seriously. If he is a queer artist, he is Korean. He lives in a very homophobic country (re their inhumane military laws) He doesn’t have the freedom to go all Sam Smith and Troye Sivan in his music even if he is making English songs for the Western Market. Did you even see Troye’s music video for One of Your Girls?!?! You are acting like Jungkook could dress in drag and give a man a lap dance if he wanted to but because he isn’t that means he doesn’t want to. How damn ignorant can you be. He’s Korean and they are paying attention to his music too!! Jimin couldn’t even have his male dancers touching him for Like Crazy when he performed at any of his Korean stages!!!!!!! WAKE. UP.

It’s so stupid how you can throw away a whole decade of Jungkook showing 0 interest in women but having very blantant sexual tension with his bandmate over the course of his career. But suddenly a song written by a western producer and a female lead in a music video here and there makes him heterosexual? Respectfully, stay the fuck off my blog. Any ask from here on out with this same shit narrative is getting blocked. Let this be your warning.

[venranae]

Scaramouche 💖 (ofc)

I was waiting for that one

Favorite thing about him - oh where to start. I love pretty much everything about him. I like that his trauma is so similar to mine that he's become a big source of comfort. But for the sake of pissing people off i will say his haircut. I will defend that haircut till i die and i will get into physical fights if i have to

Least favorite thing about him - that this mf has so many cool outfits and yet we only get the blue one. Makes me furious! But on a more serious note, probably his god complex. not because i don't like it but because it gave people a foundation to categorize him as a one dimensional arrogant mean guy when he's imo one of the best written characters of the entire game.

Favorite line - either when fischl went on an entire cryptic rant and he just went "uhh.. excuse me?" Or when paimon wouldn't shut the fuck up and he said "lowly creature, know your place" I quote that one a lot cause it's so insanely funny to me. He's so silly

brOTP - him and itto!! I know they are friends I KNOW they are and i will keep saying it. I will shout it from all rooftops i am a firm believer that Itto would basically adopt him into his friend group. Its such a cute dynamic

OTP - i am a dirty self shipper so obviously the anser is scaraven but other than that i am a scaralumi truther and will read nothing else

nOTP - I respect ships even if i don't like or care about them much but i'd say probably him and dottore cause I hate shipping victims with their abusers

Random headcanon - in my head he still has balljoints idc. Also he's like a Disney princess and animals and children love him including aranaras. They would probably mistake him for one of them. He's a mom friend but doesn't want to make it obvious. He smells like fresh air and clean bedsheets.

Unpopular opinion - if he were in some kind of modern au he would most likely be some sort of incel. I said what I said. I think that man is a loser. I stand with my cancelled wife

Song i associate with him - i have a 15 hour long playlist dedicated to him so picking only one song is torture and i won't take the easy way out by saying bohemian rhapsody so either "it almost worked" by tv girl or さいごのこと (one last thing) by Österreich which has been one of my favorite songs for YEARS now but it ironically fits him incredibly well considering the cryptic lyrics are most likely about a murderer committing suicide

Favorite picture: not a picture but this

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

TSITP 2x06 - "Love Fest" : Quotes

"- I don't know I'm kind of happy here, and not in a pharmaceutically induced way. (Skye) - And I want you to be happy. I want you to know them. (Julia) - Do you? Because it kind of feels like you've kept me away and only told me all the bad stuff. But, I don't know, I mean, this place is king of lime our last tie to them. (Skye) - (...) Just.... don't be surprised if the phone doesn't ring. (Julia) - I know you genuinely believe that you're gonna get closure by selling this house, but you're not. You never will. (Skye) - What makes you so sure? (Juila) - Because you're not selling it for closure or for money or any of the other reasons. You're selling it for confirmation. That you could... that we could never belong here. That if you tried, it would just be shitmas all over again. (Skye) "- Don't tell me you bought your own Christmas gifts, too. (Julia) - Hey, at least I'm guaranteed to get exactly what I want. (Susannah) (...) - Can you just quit with the martyr mentality? Jesus, you're making her out to be like Meredith Blake or whatever he name is from The Parent Trap." (Susannah) - So you think I made it up? (Julia) - Mom, obviously not. I mean, your dad was an emotionally withholding prick. And Aunt Susannah was in denial about her parents' shittiness. But the moment Conrad and Jeremiah came to you with a version of their house and their family that didn't fit, you just shut down. I mean, instead of hearing them out, you got rid of all their suff and took the first offer on the table? Mom. You have the biggest heart, and it really sucks to see you close it off because of the past." (Skye)

"- Okay. So, I know things aren't going so great right now, but it's always the darkest before the dawn, right? (Jeremiah) - It's over. (Conrad) - No. Our last memory here can't be this. Everyone miserable and defeated. I mean, this place deserves a better goodbye than that. (Belly) - Like what? My mom came to the beach house with Susannah for the first time after her dad died. And it was supposed to be just the two of them, but Susannah hated how empty the house felt, so she decided to throw a huge party. Everyone was dancing and drinking, and they went swimming at midnight. And Susannah said it was like Gatsby or something. So I say that we throw a party, too." (Belly)

"- But, yes, Taylor does have some good therapy in her back pocket, despite her questionable sources. You... tend to either live way up here, where everything is awesome, or way down here, where everything's shit." (Steven)

"- You know those places you always end up in your dreams? You know, your subconscious brain takes you there 'cause it's a safe space in real life? (Jeremiah) - Yeah. (Belly) - This house is that for me. And after today, I'll only ever get to swim in this pool in my dreams. It's weird. (Jeremiah) - Well... I mean, if if time is running out... (Belly) - You did not just do that. (Jeremiah) - Sorry. You were going dark. I had to save you from yourself. (Belly) - Is that all you got? (Jeremiah) - Yeah! No! (Belly) - You know, I never thought we were gonna lose this place. Did you? (Belly) - No. Never. (Jeremiah) - I always thought I loved this place as much as I possibly could. Now I... I can't help but think I didn't love it enough." (Belly)

"- Babe? (Milo) - Yes, baby, I'm-I'm here. (Taylor) - When are you coming back? I'm trying to write some new songs, but I need my muse next to me." (Milo)

"- Uh, gin for Skye. (Jeremiah) - Who drinks gin? (Belly) - Old people and Skye." (Jeremiah)

"- Oh, no. What, your I.D. didn't work, Mr. Herbertson? (Jeremiah) - Fuck off. At least I have one. (Conrad) - What? Listen, it's 'cause I don't need one, all right? Jumper and I are tight. You know, we're, like, bros. Come one, how hard could it be? Watch and learn. (Jeremiah) - Oh, look at that face. (Conrad) - So, what? Do you want to, like, pay someone to go in and buy it for us or... ? Try a different store? (Jeremiah) - Yeah. Hop a few towns over, where they don't know us as well? (Conrad) - Yeah, I just don't think that anyone is gonna buy your Guam I.D. (Belly) - I would love to hear your plan, Isabel. (Conrad) - Why don't I just go in and ask? (Belly) - That's not gonna work. (Conrad) - He's right, it's not gonna work. (Jeremiah) - Okay." (Belly)

"- No. No, no, I'm not. (Belly) - Oh? (Jumper) - I'm gonna tell you the truth, and then you can decide if you want to help me out. Uh, so here's the deal. It's been a really crappy six weeks. (Belly) - Yeah, I, I heard about their mom. (Jumper) - And I'm sure, um, you heard the house was for sale. (Belly) - Was? (Jumper) - It actually sold this morning. So tonight is our last night here, for, like, ever. (Belly) - Whoa. That blows. (Jumper) - Yeah, I know. It really, really blows. Have you ever just had, like, the shittiest day and all you want to do is just hang out with your friends and have a beer?" (Belly - Seriously Belly)

"- Let's get this in the car quick. And do not get pulled over on the way home, or I'll say you stole it while I was on the john. (Jumper) - I can't believe you just asked. (Jeremiah) - I can't believe it worked. (Conrad) - Come on, you guys. Not everything has to be so complicated. (Belly) - For me? (Jeremiah) - Yeah. (Belly) - What's you get me? (Jeremiah) - Drink it and see. (Belly) - Half cherry, half Coke. Your specialty. Nice. (Jeremiah) - Yeah. (Belly) - Where's mine? (Conrad) - You always say they're too sugary. (Belly) - Yeah, well, I'm thirsty, so too bad. Mm. It's too sugary. And I thought cocoa was your specialty." (Conrad)

"- All right, so what's the plan here? (Conrad) - Uh, I mean, it's a rager, right? (Belly) - So, go big. How big are we talking, Bells? (Jeremiah) - Right. I mean, are we talking, like.... Dad's Amex big or... ? (Conrad) - The sacred emergency Amex? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? (Jeremiah) - What? (Belly) - Blow-up furniture, strobe lights, bubble machines... the whole shebang. (Jeremiah) - Yes, yes and yes. (Belly) - Yes? Okay. Last one to fill a cart has to load it all in. Go! (Jeremiah) - Wait. Wait. Wait. Stop!" (Belly)

"- Retro vibes? (Steven) - Yeah. (Taylor) - That's sweet. He. I would come to this. I would at least stop by. (Steven) - Oh, my God. Please. You wouldn't even be on the guest list if you weren't throwing the party. No, but, look, I tagged Marisa and Dara. I mean, who else? (Taylor) - Please. Look, they're the biggest gossips in town. Everybody in Cousins will know about this party in no time. (Steven) - You think Shayla will come? (Taylor) - No. No, she in Ibiza. (Steven) - Oh. (Taylor) - And, yes, she calls it "Ib-eeth-a". (Steven) - No way. (Taylor) - No! You do that one more time, it's off the list. (Steven) - Whatever. Like you didn't put it on here specially for me. (Taylor) - Okay, yeah. Only because you and Belly forced me and my mom to watch your little dance routine ad nauseam. (Steven) - Okay, that is an overexaggeration! (Taylor) - 'Cause how I remember it is a little a flair with a leg kick." (Steven)

"- There is nothing fun in your cart. This is a party. (Belly) - These plates have glitter on 'em. (Conrad) - You need to get out more, Conrad. No, it's not that. Can we just talk about the elephant in the room that I feel like we both are pretending isn't there? (Belly) - Yeah. Of course. (Conrad) - I've been trying to figure out how to say it. How to apologize for that day. Susannah's funeral. (Belly) - Belly, you don't have to apologize for that. (Conrad) - Please. Just let me say this. I never meant to make that day about me. I was awful to you. I mean, I'm so ashamed of how I acted. It's just not how I wanted the day to go at all. I wanted to be there for you. That's why I went to go find you in the rec room. It's not fine. It wasn't fine. And I saw Aubrey and it's not like we were together anymore. It's not like I had any right. (Belly) - Of course you did. I was having a panic attack. I just crumbled. Felt like I couldn't breathe. Aubrey was just the one who found me. I really wish it was you. (Conrad) - Hey, Jere. We almost done. (Belly) - Cool. Uh, hurry up then. (Jeremiah) - Leave 'em around so everybody can take pictures at the party. We got to get one of all of us together. Like Susannah made us do every summer. (Belly) - That's a good idea." (Jeremiah)

"- Okay, but so I part my teeth first and then stick my tongue out? (Skye) - What are you guys talking about? (Belly) - Apparently Skye's never kissed anybody. (Taylor) - Which is completely normal and fine. (Belly) - I know. Externally imposed societal expectations of "normal" have no effect on me. That being said, I've decided that I am ready and willing and would like to know what to do with the various parts of my mouth when it meets another mouth. (Skye) - You want to take this one? I mean, Belly's the expert. Cam, Jere, Conrad.... (Taylor) - Taylor. (Belly) - What was it like kissing all them? Was it different? And in what ways? And feel free to be as technical as humanly possible. (Skye) - Yeah, Belly, spare no detail. What happened? (Taylor) - Um, me first kiss with Cam was really, really sweet. And with Conrad, I wasn't even in my body. I think I kind of blacked out. Uh, and with... Jeremiah, ... I thought it would be really weird 'cause we've been friends for so long, but.... It was surprisingly really hot. Like, really, really hot. Pretty hot. (Belly) - Well, then, out of all three, who would you kiss again? (Skye) - Isn't it obvious? (Taylor) - No comment. (Belly) - But is there ever a situation in which it's, like, all teeth and no tongue? (Skye) - Stop let yourself be in the moment and everything else will come naturally. (Belly) - Yeah. Just make sure they moisturize. (Taylor) - Care to explain? (Belly) - Milo is obsessed with lip balm. It honestly changes the game. (Taylor) - Try not to overthink it. Okay? I mean, your first kiss is supposed to feel like a dream. It there's any place where dreams come true, it's here." (Belly)

"- And Jeremiah's been swallowed by the garage. (Conrad) - You know, I always hated when Mom made us take these photos. It's like she knew we'd want them later though. (Jeremiah) - Oh, dude. No. We're so young. I can barely even remember some of those summers. (Conrad) - What if it all fades? All our memories of her. (Jeremiah) - It won't. Hey. When the movers get that stuff to Boston, the first thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna find that picture Mom painted of you last summer. Because I never want to forget that thing. (Conrad) - You suck. (Jeremiah) - I think a museum might take it. I'm being honest with you. (Conrad) - All right. Get out of here. (Jeremiah) - I think everyone deserves to get to see Greek god Jeremiah." (Conrad)

"- Hey, what's in there? (Belly) - Oh, you know, bunch of stuff. (Jeremiah) - Oh, my God! Susannah's roller skates. I haven't seen these in forever. (Belly) - Right? (Jeremiah) - Wow. You think they fit? (Belly) - Okay, just don't throw up on anyone doing spins, all right? (Jeremiah) - That was one time. (Belly) - I had to throw that shirt away. (Jeremiah) - Okay. What else is in here? Let's see. I actually have this one, uh, taped on the mirror in my bedroom. (Belly) - Yeah. Look at how you're mooning over Conrad. (Jeremiah) - It was a long time ago. (Belly) - Really? 'Cause it seemed like you were looking at him like that earlier. (Jeremiah) - No. I wasn't. (Belly) - At the store. Felt like I was... walking in on something. (Jeremiah) - Uh, it's... it's kind of hard to explain. I mean, I think.... sometimes you're getting over your past and-and moving on in-in the present all at the same time. I don't know. Does that make any sense?" (Belly)

"- You look hot. (Taylor) - Really? It's not too much? (Belly) - No. Jeremy's gonna love it. (Taylor) - What? (Belly) - Mmm-mm. You've been looking at him all day like he's this ice cream cone you're dying to lick. (Taylor) - Taylor! Shh! Please. (Belly) - Sorry. (Taylor) - That's so... Mm, it's just... (Belly) - It's complicated. (Taylor) - Yeah, no that's exactly what he said to me. After he told me that he didn't kiss me during the truth or dare because, if he started kissing me, he wouldn't be able to stop. (Belly) - Belly, that's, like, Wattpad-level hot. (Taylor) - I know. (Belly) - You could sell that. (Taylor) - I know. But then... I don't know... there was..., like, this weird moment with Conrad today. (Belly) - I don't want to talk about Conrad. He really hurt you. (Taylor) - I know. It was probably just echoes. You know? (Belly) - It sounds messy. You know, just be careful, okay? (Taylor) - Yeah. No, you're right. Right. Uh, yeah. I will be. You know, besides, like, tonight is about something bigger. Yeah. It's party time, Yeah? (Belly) - You got this? (Taylor) - Yeah. (Belly) - All right, get dressed quick. (Taylor) - Okay." (Belly)

"- Oh, my God. (The gang) - Oh, my God, Marisa, I'm so glad you were in town. (Belly) - Oh, my God, me too. The gang's back together. (Nicole) - Yeah. I mean... Kind of. (Dara) - I heard about Gigi's dad. That sucks. (Belly) - Okay, she's fine. There's a documentary crew following her, and she thinks she's the next Kim K. (Dara) - Dara, you signed an NDA. You're not supposed to say anything. (Marisa and Nicole) - Okay, who cares? She told literally everyone. (Dara) - Tell me you didn't miss this drama. (Nicole) - No, I actually... I really did. (Belly) - We missed you. (The gang) - Oh, all right. I will be right back." (Belly)

"- Whoa! - Oh, shit. (Cam) - You don't need to hurt yourself to get my attention. (Jeremiah) - Uh, I got to get another one. So I'll BRB." (Belly)

"- No, I don't think so. (Steven) - Right. O... (Conrad) - Look, I'm rooting for you, bro, just don't fucking break her heart again. (Steven) - Says the guy who's been following Taylor around all night. (Conrad) - Oh, uh, no, I fully cop to that. Come one, man, who's she fooling, you know? (Steven) - You know she has a boyfriend, right? Just... Technically. (Conrad) - Okay, but he's all wrong for her, so... (Steven) - All right, all right. I'm not snitching. I'm just saying, bro. Be careful." (Conrad)

"- If that's gin, I'm killing you. (Conrad) - Aw, it's tequila, come on. (Jeremiah) - Okay, cups up. Listen, no matter how much time passes or how far apart we are, we're always gonna love you guys, okay? (Jeremiah) - All right? All right? - Aw, Jeremy, you cheeseball. (Taylor) - All right, to the last night!"

"- So, is she here? (Milo) - Yeah, I mean, she's around somewhere. (Skye) - Sick. Do you want to give me a direction? Like, east, west, something? (Milo) - We don't know where she is, dude. Sorry (Cam) - Yeah, I mean, she's probably wherever Steven is, so... (Skye) - Then that's where I'll be. (Milo) - What was that? (Cam) - Potentially toxic stew of masculinity masquerading as burning love? (Skye) - Right, and you just stirred it all up. (Cam) - Yeah. (Skye) - We got to warn Taylor. (Cam) - We should find Taylor. (Syke) (...) - I feel like we fulfilled our duty. You know? (Skye) - Yeah. (Cam) - Like, whatever happens next is in the hands of fate and Milo's creepily moisturized lips. (Skye) - I cannot believe that dude drove over 300 miles to make, like, this grand declaration of love for Taylor. (Cam) - I mean, is that, like, a dude thing? Acting on pure instinct and bravado and giving no fucks. (Skye) - It's definitely not a Cam thing. (Cam) - I don't know, maybe it should be. You know, life is short. Cellular decline awaits us all. These vessels are fleeting and finite, no? (Skye) - Yeah, I guess I kind of do have a minor tendency to play it safe. (Cam) - Major tendency. No judgments. (Skye) - You ever been skinny dipping? (Cam) - Is that an invitation? (Skye) - Oh. No. I mean, I wasn't... Uh, no. I was just talking about this, this one time last summer, a bunch of my friends went skinny dipping, and I chickened out, and I still regret it. (Cam) - Like you're gonna regret not getting on that boat? (Skye) - You know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get on that damn boat. (Cam) - You know... if we are being bold... I was wondering... maybe I could kiss you? I mean, totally feel free to say no. My bad if I was, like, misreading... (Skye) - Yes. (Cam) - Yeah?" (Skye)

"- Taylor you win. (Steven) - I win what? (Taylor) - This. Whatever we're doing. First person to admit they-they caught feelings loses, right? So, I lose. You win. (Steven) - Okay, drama queen. (Taylor) - Stop, Stop. I'm being serious right now, okay? I like you. Even when you were just my little sister's annoying best friend. Like, you were always just this person who was around, and now you're someone I miss when they're not around. I don't know how it happened, or when it happened... But now, you're my favorite person. Come on. Say something, please." (Steven) "- Thank you. (Belly) - Cheers. (Jeremiah) - Hey, where is everyone? I mean, we have to take that, uh, group picture. (Belly) - Oh, I can track them down if you want. Uh, last time I saw Steven he was with Tay-Tay, actually. What's going on there? Yeah, this house has seen its fair share of make-outs. Yeah. You know I had my first kiss in this house? (Jeremiah) - Really? (Belly) - Mm-hmm. And my second, on the same night. (Jeremiah) - Wow. Scandalous. (Belly) - Yeah. (Jeremiah) - Whose hearts were you breaking? (Belly) - You remember Christy Turnduck? (Jeremiah) - Turducken? (Belly) - Yes. The Turducken, yeah. Uh, and then, um, our neighbour at the time. Uh, what was his name? (Jeremiah) - Oh, Clay Bertolet. (Belly) - Um... Yes. Yeah. - No way. You know, he once broke a window in the garage and blamed me. (Belly) - Really? (Jeremiah) - Yeah. (Belly) - He was a good kisser, though. Not as good as you." (Jeremiah)

"- Fight! (Partygoer) - Bro, you need to go. (Steven) - I don't think that's up to you. (Milo) - Can we just go outside and-and cool off a moment, please? (Taylor) - She doesn't even want you here. (Steven) - Shut up, Steven. (Taylor) - Oh, trust me, she wants me. Everywhere. All the time. (Milo) - Can you not do that right now? (Taylor) - Oh! (crowd) - Oh, my God. (Taylor) - Steven. (Jeremiah) - Babe, this is for you. (Milo) - I literally don't even want this. (Taylor) - What is happening? (Belly) - No idea. (Taylor) - Come on, man! - Kick his ass, Steven. - You got it, Steven. - Come on! Get over here! Help! - Milo, stop! You're embarrassing me right now. (Taylor) - Man, fuck this. Come one, Taylor, let's go. These people are too pedestrian for us anyways. (Milo) - These people are my friends. Do you even know me? Like, at all? (Taylor) - Babe, what are you talking about? You're my girl. (Milo) - What's my middle name? (Taylor) - .... (Milo) - Yeah, I can't do this anymore. It's over. (Taylor) - Taylor.... (Milo) - It's Madison. Her middle name is Madison." (Steven)

"- Guys, so I've been texting with my mom, and she was able to put a condition into the sale. Since the buyers are only gonna use this place as a vacation home, they're agreed to let you rend the place for one week every summer. (Syke) - Wait... (Belly) - Wait, are you serious? We get to come back? Oh, my God, Skye, this is amazing. Oh, my God! (Jeremiah) - No, it's not. You can tell your mom thanks, but no. (Conrad) - Come on, Conrad, at least hear them out. It's over. Why are you the only one that gets to make this decision? (Jeremiah) - Jere, we're not gonna pay another family to rent our house. (Conrad) - This isn't our house anymore. (Jeremiah) - Exactly. Let it go. (Conrad) - Yeah, 'cause you're an expert at that. (Jeremiah) - Jere. (Belly) - No, no, this is the shit he does. When things aren't perfect, instead of trying to fix it, he just decides to throw it away. And it's not just the house. You did it to Belly, too. You came to me, you fucking begged me for my blessing to be with her. (Jeremiah) - Is that true? (Belly) - Jere, that was between us. (Conrad) - Yeah, it's fucking true. You know, when shit got tough, he couldn't handle it, and he dropped you. (Jeremiah) - Shut up, Jere. Don't use me to get at him. (Belly) - Belly, come on. (Jeremiah) - You know what? I don't want to be a part of this, okay? (Belly) - Belly... (Jeremiah) - Way to go, Jere. I mean, real classy. (Conrad) - Yeah. You're a real fucking asshole, you know that? (Jeremiah) - Grow up, Jere. (Conrad) - I did grow up! I watched Mom slip away a little bit every single day, while you were at college or with Belly or moping around after you screwed that up. (Jeremiah) - Jere, you know for a fact that I came home every second I could. (Conrad) - But it wasn't every day. (Jeremiah) - Okay, Okay. What do you want, a medal? (Conrad) - You know, I looked up to you every day of my life. And when people said that you were better than me, I wouldn't mind because I believed them, too. But you're not. Now I finally see you for who you really are. (Jeremiah) - What's that? (Conrad) - A coward. You're not someone to look up to. You're not even somebody I want to know." (Jeremiah)

"- Belly! Belly, come back inside. I'm not dragging your dead body out of the ocean if you drown out there. Come out of the water, Belly. (Conrad) - Leave me alone. (Belly) - I can't. (Conrad) - No. What are you... No! Hey! Hey! Hey, put me down! (Belly) - You're drunk, Belly. (Conrad) - Just put me down! Conrad! (Belly) - I'm not gonna put you down. (Conrad) - Let go! Let go! (Belly) - Belly... Come on. Let me help you. Come on. (Conrad) - J-Just go, okay? (Belly) - I'm not leaving you, Belly. (Conrad) - But you already did. (Belly) - Why didn't you tell me you went to Jeremiah about us? Why? Why didn't... (Belly) - I don't know. (Conrad) - If I had known... that you'd done that... that you cared that much about me, and about us.... If I had known, then I would've fought for you. (Belly) - What do you mean? (Conrad) - Fought for us. I would've fought for us. I mean, at prom and at the funeral. I mean, I... would've been there for you, through everything. - I thought you knew. (Conrad) - From the moment we kissed on the beach... (Belly) - I thought you knew. (Conrad) - Then why? Why? Why did you throw it all away? Why? I th... I thought that we loved each other. (Belly) - We did. (Conrad) - I guess not enough." (Belly)

"- I'm really sorry about what happened. (Steven) - It's okay. He shouldn't have come all this way and made a scene like that. I mean, I feel kind of bad. I mean, I don't know... (Taylor) - So, look, what I was saying earlier... (Steven) - You take it all back? (Taylor) - What, do you want me to? You have to say what you want, Taylor. It's your move. (Steven) - You remembered my middle name. (Taylor) - Taylor Madison Jewel." (Steven) "- Belly, come swim with us. Yeah. (The gang) - Are you okay? (Nicole) - Everything is wrong. I promised Susannah I wouldn't lose the magic, but it's gone." (Belly)

"- Mommy. I need you. I'm at the summer house. Susannah's house, except it's not hers anymore, and everything is going wrong, and the boys may never speak to each other again. Just come, please, okay? Just come, please, okay? Just come and fix it.

[taegularities]

so i just had this horrible day at work and then had two night classes which were equally terrible.

i went home and came across a thousand reasons why in my dashboard

what

the

fuck

i don’t know how to explain everything that i’m feeling right now. Like i’m so ugly crying right now (i would send i pic but it’s just so ugly that i can’t)

how do you manage to make all your jks and ocs like this. Extremely special wonderful heartbreaking amazing people who are just so fucking easy to fall for. (people i would just die to have in my life) (and even knowing you just a little i feel you would be exactly like them: a beautiful person that changes peoples lives forever) (i feel like you are doing just that with your writing)

i have this thing where it hurts me so much when people can’t be together and it’s not anyone’s fault it’s just life (does that makes sense?). When two people love each other and it just doesn’t work out because life is complicated.

it’s exactly like they say: you’re not right we are just very different. And it’s so heartbreaking to me. To think that they might’ve spend their wholes lives loving each other but not together. (i absolutely knew that i could count on you to bring them together but still)

i read the whole thing while listening to the playlist and it made the whole thing 100000 times more emotional to me. There’s so many amazing songs that i already knew and a added a bunch of new ones to my playlist. All the songs fit the story so perfectly it’s insane.

As i said, i’m kind in a after finishing shock so im problably not making sense at all. But i loved it so much.

jungkook and oc are so well written. I loved how he didn’t gave up on his dreams but adapted it (is that word right?). How his love was so strong that even the thing that was his biggest dreams didn’t came close to being with her. He still wanted all those things but he wanted with her.

again:

what

the

fuck.

i will cry myself to sleep right now. definitely will be back to ramble more about this. (and also the cf2 review)

rid, i really love u, you have no idea.

OK HERE GOES !!! ANA, you cannot imagine my excitement when i saw that you read atrw. like, it's over 1.5 years old, so i know it's hard to come across that story, but when people do, im so 🥹

freaking happy you loved those two so much. they're dear to my heart :( but even more flattered about that little compliment you threw in there? 😭 i didn't think i'd give off such vibes, but the fact that you think i could change lives is really a source of warmth for me lol :')

AND YES OH MY GOSH. i kid you not. i was saying the exact same thing to someone like 2 days ago. how i hate when people can't be together, not bc they don't want to but bc the world won't let them (bc that exact thing happened to me lol but yeah :')) it's cruel. i'm also very thrilled that you liked the playlist 🥺

thank you for this babe, i love you so much :(( i hope you know you can ramble about it (or anything, really) anytime <3

[hope-of-virgo]

2024

happy new year!

you can find the post i'll be referencing continually here: https://www.tumblr.com/hope-of-virgo/706484244807024640/im-currently-bedridden-as-a-result-of-hormonal?source=share

so it's a little under a year since I wrote the original, and things have surely made a change.

my (now) wife and i got married less than a month ago, in the eyes of the australian government i'm a girl, and i seem to have stumbled backwards into a management(ish) role at work.

so... about those resolutions.

stop: doomscrolling i had an amount of success on this, partially due to twitter shitting its pants and reddit having the Great Blackout and subsequent degradation of content. a lot of algorithmically sorted internet shit has done this recently, and a lot of it comes down to "we are approaching a fiscal cliff". what i have picked up from this though is that i'm enjoying learning new skills, such as fermenting and learning sql. i don't carry around a handbag project as much anymore due to some joint issues i've been having making me switch to a backpack, and doing an rsi at work.

stop: masking my autism this has definitely gotten better with my hrt progressing; i'm less afraid to be my authentic self. the hard part has been the pronoun switch and managing the mood problems that happen as a result. for those not in the know, i switched from he/they to she/they after someone at the pole studio called me "she" and i was like "huh...didn't hate that". i also generally held the view that if people weren't calling me that without being told, it would feel inauthentic to ask them.

stop: making excuses not to go to the pole studio this hasn't stopped, but it's as much to do with other factors as it is me butting heads with a number of studio members. actually getting there is difficult without driving, and due to my town growing really fast as a result of melbourne being really fucking expensive to live in, there's been a large cop presence flood in too. i'm a medicinal cannabis user for chronic pain, any amount of thc in my system meets the evidentiary burden for drug driving, and good luck getting a social work job with that on my record. i'm moving to an electric scooter this year, which should solve a lot of these issues.

keep: cooking my own meals now that my wife and i are living together, i'd already be cooking for her, so it's an easy routine to keep food in the house for the both of us. it's also getting easier to find reasons to cook my own meals since i now no longer live within walking distance of 3 different pizza shops, the cost of food has basically doubled in the last year, and my wife is getting into the "growing your own food" side of urban homesteading, which gives me lots of options to cook with seasonal produce.

keep: doing gender affirmation my op shopping buddy bounced in and out of rehab a lot this year and we actually haven't seen each other at all as a result. she reached out to me proactively at christmas as well, which is a first, so i have high hopes for that. my hair's getting longer and changing texture, and i'm fitting the form of "women's clothing" a lot better now. i'm still shit at makeup but i always feel better about myself when i do it so while fucking it up feels bad (god knows when i turned up to work having fucked up my eye shadow in like september i looked like i'd been kicked in the face), getting it right feels amazing.

keep: watching new shows and listening to new music i actually went pretty well at this i think. i had the aim of getting to 2000 songs in my spotify library, which is a 25% increase, and i think i ended the calendar year with 1990. i went to a lot more live music this year, i saw betty who, cry club, eilish gilligan, florence and the machine, aleksiah, bella amor, teenage joans, merci mercy, and waterparks. i also went to see lights' headline show in melbourne, which is a top 5 experiences of my life moment. she's been my most listened to artist for the last 10 years. when she was performing "when the summer dies" she got down into the crowd, and there was this moment where she looked at me, then ran her hand through my hair. this sounds like fanfic but i swear on my life that it happened.

start: eating more vegetables i'm doing better at this; i'm a sensory seeker when it comes to food, and vegetables are pretty boring. i also don't really like sweet food (and neither do my teeth, but that's a different story), so getting my fruit intake can be hard. i've solved the problem to an extent with pickles and ferments, and mixing fruit into yogurt as well.

start: actively reducing household waste my state has introduced bottle and can deposit refunds. we don't buy a lot of bottled and canned drinks, but it's nice to have the added incentive. we bought a compost bin with our wedding money, and i'm loving being able to find something to do with the veggie scraps. i'm looking into vertical farming gourmet mushrooms this year. we've moved to household cleaners where you basically get a "forever bottle" and fill them with refills, which you then send the bag back and they reuse it. the plastics they use as part of this scheme are also recycled from reclaimed ocean plastics, which is kind of cool. my bestie made me some beeswax wraps, and i think i've used single-use plastic wrap like 3 times this year maybe. that's not even counting the plastic savings from not buying bread from the shops anymore.

start: more longform journaling got banned from instagram for it, but that's probably not a net negative. doing longform writing when you're already doing a lot for uni can be a challenge, but i've done a bit. i've also joined the fediverse as part of the reddit exodus, and that's been a bit of fun.

start: diversifying my income sources i'm now an accredited life model, though i've actually been too busy to utilise it. i've basically retired from *~spicy accounting~* as well, because i'm having a bunch of problems even having sex in my private life, let alone doing it at work. the economic issues have also cut out a lot of my clientele, so i'm taking it as a sign from the universe that it's time to go do something else. i also decided to quit my job, which people like @tamaaya68000 and @gotouhitori have been trying to convince me to do since that one awesome time in 2021 where i tried to jump in front of a train because it seemed like a better option than going to work the following monday. fortunately there are positions open in other parts of the hospital that i'm applying for later today, and when i get my diploma i'll likely apply at child protection, who are so desperate for workers that they're promising guaranteed promotion to cpp4 within 2 years and hiring people on working holiday visas from other countries to fill the skilled workers gap.

start: interior decorating currently writing this from in the middle of a bunch of still-packed moving boxes from when i moved in like 3 months ago. it's a work in progress. i'm going to ask a friend of mine to paint me some things as some commissioned art, but beyond that i'm actually not sure what i want to do with the space.

2024's resolutions will probably come next week, but overall i'm pretty happy with the year 2023.

[captnbunnie]

Yes, you definetly answered all my questions! (But I have more >:] for later!)

Honestly, I can definetly see why you don't really like Epic, I could have guessed by the way you speak of the Odyssey, you're very passionate about it and its characters (especially Odysseus) and it shows, and I feel like we can all agree on the fact that Epic is veeeeery loosely inspired by the Odyssey at this point of the story relased.

I feel like at the end of the day the story of the Odyssey was just used as a base on which to insert the moral and message that the author wanted to pass on, more than a retelling, as it seems you also said (if I'm wrong correct me haha). It's a musical which does not require to know the original source, and I think that's part of the reason why so many people like it. I saw many say that Jorge made the Greek classics interesting for them, and it's nice to see people get passionate about these texts, but the problems come when they do not realize the vast difference between Epic and the Odyssey (even Jorge said it wasn't accurate, but I guess people don't care enough), so I definetly get the points that you made!

Also wanted to agree with you that Epic!Odysseus is a very different character from Homer's Oyddeus, even Jorge said that there's no way of connecting Epic to the Iliad without it feeling absolutely out of place, because at the start of Epic it's like the war of Troy never happened, and years of learned fighting tactics and creation of a fighter mind are reset to zero, thus leading to the whole "man vs monster" dilemma (which at this point would have made more sense in the setting of the war of Troy imo)

About the cyclop episode I'm pretty sure Jorge changed it so much because by modern standards it wouldn't have much sense, and since he doesn't have time in the musical to explain ancient greek culture, he just modernized it, to also fit better with the rest of the plot (but also taking away from Odysseus character, that name reveal was DEFINETLY made out of spite for Athena)

FANDOM LOGIC IS REAL and I fucking hate it. Like I love fandoms, because it's fun to create stuff, interact, talk with others and all that but at the same it comes with the price of talking freely (the internet is becoming more and more just a controlled space, full of censorship, but that's a talk for another day haha). It affects projects in a very noticeable way, because as you said, Circe and Calypso's appearances where extremely tamed down compared to the original thing.

Unfortunately I feel like Circe was kinda written with the "feminist" trope in mind (like the retelling of Medusa's myth), as in taking a bad female character and making it have a reason for doing those bad things, so that it's totally justified, instead of just going with a character that makes bad actions (I'm also pretty sure it was influenced in some way by Madeline's retelling of Circe's myth cause I've seen it mentioned a lot, but don't know for sure cause I've not read it and I don't know too well her myth).

Also I don't know if you've seen, but with the release of the latest saga, the wisdom saga, and the appearance of Antinoo, well, let's just say that he wasn't very well welcomed, so I've seen many hating on this character just because he's the villain of the story, and by extention, hating on people that liked him. By the way he was received in the fandom, I can see why Jorge decided to play the safe route by making Circe likeable (aka good) and writing Calypso more tame. (Antinoo had to just imply that he wanted to fuck Penelope to have a great amount of people hating on the VA too, ugh).

Also yeah you're totally right, Scylla is definetly the song where Epic!Odysseus and Homer's Odysseus are the most different. I can't imagine Odysseus doing something even remotely similiar in the original myth.

Another point with which I agree with you is definetly about how the gods were handled. Honestly a thing I really like about the gods is how different they are from the mortals. Yes they experience human emotions and all that, but they're still highly powerful beings that do not realize the full extent of the consequences of their actions on the heroes they choose, and it also seems to me that they're always farther then they seem (that's just my opinion based in what I've read about classical texts, so please don't take it too seriously haha).

This whole thing just to say that I really liked how Athena was portrayed in the beginning, as this goddes that had power and showed it, she liked Odysseus, but he was her tool first, and then a human. I loved it. But ofcourse with the story going on, she could not remain the same and had to have some sort of development, until becoming what we see in God games. And here there's the other thing that you pointed out, which is that Zeus and Athena's relationship is a total 360 of how it's narrated in the original myths. (And we have yet another character which is represented only by it's bad actions -> Zeus)

(Also about the sirens, their spell still work because the wax only muffle their songs, it doesn't cover all the sounds)

So yeah, I can totally see why you don't like Epic that much, and can sympathize with the part about getting content without even searching for it, it becomes annoying quickly, I feel you haha.

About Paris the musical, YEAAHH I love Patroclus too <3 it's the first time I see him being represented not as a passive character but as a fighter, which is honeslty so refreshing!! I mean he's a fighter too AND older, people can stop making him the pure innocent guy protected always by Achilles, PLEASE (again, I have a funny feeling Patroclus' character was shaped in the internet view by Madeline's retelling in TSOA)

Also I don't know why they made Odysseu not belive in gods, but what I've gathered in my research, is that technically there's a stage version of Paris in which the events take place In a rlatively modern setting? Which would explain why the gods are pretty much absent in the musical, apart for some very small parts from Aphrodite, amd why many characters question the gods so much. But I can't say for sure because sadly I've not found much information about it.

Also business is one of my favourite songs too!! It's just so fun to listen, and it's exactly for the reason you said, there are many people many interactions, and it's very true to the real thing! Just a man is also a peak choice, I honestly really like this variant of the myth of Astianax, it fits very well for Odysseus! (I personally knew another version which if I remember correctly was introduced to me in high school, in which Andromacae had to give herself as slave in order to save Astianax, but in the end the Greeks killed them both, if I remember correctly, but this one has so much more angst potential for Odysseus, so I'm good haha)

Anyways, after this long as fuck rant (sorry haha) I gotta say that a positive side we can take from the creation of these musicals is the fact that they're spreading the original myths and many are actually reading the Iliad or Odyssey because of them (I'm one of them and I've definetly convinced multiple of my friends ti read the Odyssey haha) and also many creator are mixing the original myth in these stories more and more.

Thanks for answering my questions and satisfying my curiosity! I didn't know that you got targeted because of your opinion on Epic, so I hope that me asking doesn't actually bring more bad attention or anything TwT.

Lastly, I wanted to ask, have you found some modern media about ancient greek myths that you like? And also, if you'd like to talk more about Eurylochus character and why you like I'd be glad to hear! He's one of my favourite characters in Epic, so again, I'm just curious to hear your toughts.

Thanks again for answering me!! ^^

Hello!!

Since I've seen that you've listened to both Epic and Paris the musical, I was curious to know what are your toughts on them! Did you like how the myths and characters where handled? What do you like best and worst? (If you'd like to share, what's your favourite song/moment in each?)

Thanks :]

My my you really wanna get me have an even bigger target on my back than the one I put already! Hahaha! Ok so be it! Hahaha If this gets waaaaaay too long or too runty forgive me! ^_^

You have noticed from many of my comments and my notifications, memes or jokes. I am not a fan of EPIC. Not at all. I believe I am one of the most disliked people on Tumblr on mythology matters because I so openly speak my dislike against EPIC and being annoying about it! Hahaha! XD The thing I absolutely love about it is of course the guy's passion with the project, the way the music works and all (undoubtedly the guy is a very talented composer and can combine the scene with music and emotions and the tricks he uses with music are great) but the way the plot of Odyssey was twisted beyond recognition and to the point that to me you can literally change the names of the characters to anything else and still have the story he presents with the Musical. Maybe that was his goal but in my head that is not what a retelling or an adaptation is about. A retelling to me is not something that seeks to change literally as much as possible from the plot to fit the modern standards or the fanbase. A retelling is something as the word says that "retells the story" aka adapts the story as loyally as possible and adapts it to the audinece by taking creative liberties that are still generic to the story as it was originally told so that it will fit more to the modern standards or ear.

I believe we have so much twisted the word "retelling" that nowadays "retelling" seems to be equivalent to "let's change the hell out of the story because the original plot is not even THAT important to be salvaged and no modern person would watch it anyways" which in my opinion is not the case at all. Unless of course one writes satire. Then it doesn't matter, as I mentioned to another ask of mine.

I lost interest and was massively disappointed from the end of second saga and the song "Storm". The first two sagas were a masterpiece. The creative liberties were amazing to make sense with the plot and give the characters motivation (for example "I'm just a man" was FANTASTIC! The way the myth from Iliou Persis that gave us only one phrase "Odysseus kills Astyanax by throwing him off the wall" is now transformed into a marvelous emotional dilemma and a painful decision). In this case the creative liberty work WITH the plot and not against it. I didn't mind it as much that they made Polites a fluffy guy for no reason to fit that stereotypical "innocence of the team" plot because Polites is a clean slate character in Odyssey. However after Storm I started seeing your typical "Hollywood film 'adaptation' logic with changing stuff at the plot". I was intrigued at how they decided to give Polyphemus an excuse to kill like the guys enter a cave that is obviously habitable and kill an animal that is obviously domesticated and they do not know someone lives there? In the original it was clear someone lived there which made Odysseus curious to interract with them. I was willing to ignore that because ok creative liberties but then Athena was there!? And she gave Odysseus every opportunity to kill him while Odysseus was just "TOO NICE?!" like since when? Odysseus was all about killing him but he had no guarantee he would plus he needed him to open the cave. And the way he revealed his name in the musical was so rush and almost "out of spite" for Athena not a result of a secclusion in a cave for days and days and then his pride speaking up when Polyphemus called him a coward (which I tried to capture to my fic, not sure if I succeeded but still). So anyways at that point I was sure we wouldn't see the last of it with the changes. Poseidon destroys the ships instead of the Laestrygonians (no surprise there, rarely ever see anyone even mention the Laestrygonians yet alone show their contribution to the Odyssey) but then Circe happened and I just knew that we would have to derail from the original more and more

Circe's role was incredibly diminished for the sakes of making her actions more mellow and pass the message of loyalty and kindness. Circe in the original gives Odysseus valid information for his trip provisions and much more. In Epic not only we do not see the importance of Odysseus selling himself to Circe and we have Circe for some reason seducing him to kill him (removing her humanity from when she got scared that her magic won't work on him, potentially thinking he is some kind of god, begging for her safety to then suggesting her bed as Hermes predicts) I mean she had lions and wolves to her disposal she doesn't need to seduce him to kill him. Then of course Jorge realized that a big chunk of plot is missing and so he made Odysseus find out about Skylla by the sirens?! Like...okay... Even Tiresias gives him almost nothing (in the original he also tells him how to break the curse) Which seems interesting how Odysseus breaks down with "Monster" in Tiresias when he has received an act of kindess before. Wouldn't it be more amazing if he had that breakdown AFTER he paid the price with Circe with his own body? That even kindess has a terrible price? Of course the most iconic scene of the Odyssey after the murder of the suitors and Cyclops, the Sirens were twisted to whatever we had there; Odysseus listening to their song was of massive importance to his natural curiocity and we didn't get that (not to mention how would the sirens spell work on him and have Penelope there if he didn't hear their song in the first place?) and of course the fact that he kills them?! Like...how that even works I have no idea and like in the original people were running for their lives. Didn't even look back. Apparently they had all the time in the world to capture them, they knew apparently exactly how many they were and then they kill them?! Like I won't even say that they used the medieval mermaid instead of the sirens and then they "leave them drown" (how you drown fish people is beyond me! Maybe they are sharks that need to keep moving lol) and of course again that scene seemed to me that it was there only to show that "Odysseus is a monster" which makes no sense Odyssey-wise for many reasons. and then of course again Skylla; Odysseus doesn't gear up to protect his men, he is the one who chooses the sacrifice out of spite etc etc

Many others got sped up like the Helios cattle but ok I guess that is expected up to one point even if it could be handled differently but of course then we have also Zeus being a jerk and again making Odysseus choose? The storm that took the lives of his men was a natural consequence, not some twisted thing to prove how "monstrous" Odysseus is. In fact Odysseus tried till the last moment to sail away and save the lives he could (see my other analysis here) and of course again as many people said on God Games and all how Zeus was twisted yet another time although in Odyssey he had zero reasons to object apart from the natural hubris nemesis sequence. He never called Odysseus "shameful" either. In fact he says he agrees with Athena that calls him the most pious.

I think the massive change that I believe is abused by modern retellings is the whole "monster to man" trope. Odysseus losing his moral compass and "becoming the monster" and the plot around revolving to it. That was never the pont of Odyssey in my opinion. Odysseus never really lost his moral compass it is just his morality was not all pure and lovey in the first place. Was he changed by his experiences to be more ruthless in general? Absolutely but he was never changed to a monster according to Homeric version (because post-homeric versions already treat him as a villain from the get-go)

As for the things I liked about it, I had made a post you can see here:

I do love the harmonies and the music in it and I love the passion and the talents of the people in it. It is just that the whole plot for me is just not it. Also maybe I am also mostly annoyed with how the "fandom logic" has taken over it. Like internet getting swarmed by it. Epic quotes or facts getting literally mixed up or associated with the original or the fact we can no longer speak on the original unless someone brings up Epic the Musical... This annoys me to no ends. Of course I recognize the passion of the fans of the musical. Is just a personal thing to me. I felt the same when people were using Percy Jackson or Miller's books to talk on mythology before. Is the same here.

Of course I need to say this all the above is my PERSONAL OPINION. I have literally NOTHING against people who love the musical and the original equally. I am just NOT one of them. Also i have nothing against the artist either. I just do not agree with his outtake. Still appreciate his hard work. However when I saw the firsttwo sagas I knew this guy KNEW his mythology which is why I feel so disappointed that his later sagas felt like "Hmm...let me use that knowledge I definitely have on Odyssey just to change the hell out of it!" And that had me very sad and lowkey annoyed because I think this guy had some real stuff to create an actual Odyssey adaptation and yet again we had your average hollywood film plot where you barely see any of the plot he ellegedly adapts

Now on Paris the Musical I had answered another ask you can see here

I will not take more space on this already huge and runty post that probably made me more annoying and irritating around Tumblr! XD Generally again has little to nothing to do with Iliad but I loved the music (it was arguably one of the most original choices for music for a musical) and the songs I mention to the ask. Apart from that I am ot ecstatic by it either (arguably stage musicals do not seem to work for me when it comes to the ancient classics to a large degree because of how much the plots need to be overly simplified to fit the time frame) but I am more happy that it din't get blasted out of proportions like Epic was so the plot of it doesn't even need to be pointed out that it is not accurate and all. It is self-evident. The fact that the creator of Epic needed to "warn the fans" on how inaccurate his work is, speaks volumes to me.

I will close this runt now because is already too long. I think both Epic and Paris musicals have little to nothing to do with the things they adapt but Ironically Paris the Musical changed less stuff than Epic in comparison to magnitude. Both are passionate projects with great potential and very good music but plot wise I am not anymore surprised that they do not follow the actual plots or character developments. I am surprised that Epic was more accurate to the character development of Eurylochus than the main protagonist Odysseus! Made me focus more on Eurylochus than Odysseus! Hahaha!

I am glad that the musicals make more people willing to read the originals though. For that I am grateful.

And if I have to pick one song from each musical I would say "Just a Man" and "Business" respectably but of course I like others as well especially from Epic such as "Horse and the Infant", "Will of the gods" and "Storm".

I hope this answers your questions! I will elaborate further on some of the points I make here if you want! ^_^

[baekluvie]

obsession | chapter 6

pairing: reader x baekhyun

word count: 13k

genre: yandere au | this is heavily inspired by the show 'you'

tag list: @mayboy @vishary15 @greasywall @loversmantra @cityexos @kavvs @prettyboybaek @byunds

(let me know if you want to be tagged ^^)

warnings for this chapter: murder, mental illness(s), mention of death(s), implied violence, violence, manipulation, mature language, obsessiveness

do not read if: you are triggered by any of the warnings i listed prior. this fic will contain this theme throughout the chapters. if you are not comfortable with that; please skip this post. please remember this is a work of fiction.

viewer discretion is advised

playlist for this chapter:

space song - chanyeol's pov

ylang ylang - chanyeol's pov

heather - junmyeon's pov (this song fits perfectly for junmyeon in this im crying)

doin' time - baekhyun pov

blood // water - baekhyun pov

(a/n): this chapter is waaaay longer than i planned it to be. but nonetheless it was very fun to write. a little evil i won't lie lol. but THIS means i won't be ending it anytime soon, there's so much i need to unfold to you guys hehe. but i hope you guys enjoy this and don't hate me too much for it. love u guys. like always, replies are open. please send me messages, requests, your thoughts! always appreciated! reblog and like as it really helps me out. have fun reading!

Chanyeol POV

He didn't have any motivation to get up. He wanted to simply stay in bed, sulk and complain to himself that he put himself in the situation; there was no going back from any of it. But instead, on a well deserved day off, he was shaken from his dark thoughts with the sound of his phone going off. Chanyeol grunted as he moved his body to lay on his side, facing the bedside drawer next to his bed. He watched as his phone began to light up in the dark room, the only source of light coming from the windows, broadcasting beautiful Seoul within his sight. He could never complain about the view, the tall buildings never seeming to end, the way the horizon broke through the bland identical towers; furthermore proving just how successful he was, living in his own loft in one of the most expensive areas around. 

So he grudgingly picked up his phone, his eyes squinting from the brightness. He lets his fingers trace some of the scratches that were on the screen, doing so while he read the multiple messages he was receiving. 

(4 New Messages)

(7 New Messages)

(8 New Messages)-

"Fuck, I get it." He opened up his phone lockscreen, bringing him to the plethora of texts. 

We need to talk. 

I'm kind of freaked out man 

Like 

what the fuck 

Jun is fucking pissed

did you know that?

i don't want to deal with his depressed ass  

are u up 

r u jacking off 

Instead of just replying back, Chanyeol pressed the contact profile and brought his device to his ear. He yawned, stretching out his long limbs on his white bedsheets. This wasn't exactly anything new to him, in fact, he was honestly used to it at this point. Especially when it came to... well, him. 

"Dude?" 

"What, Sehun." 

"Did you read my texts?" 

"Do you think I'd be calling you on my day off if I didn't?" He scoffed. 

Sehun laughs on his end, making Chanyeol break into a smile as well. 

"We have to meet up. Like anywhere. I don't care. But we need to talk about-" 

Chanyeol suddenly feels flushed, his heart drops, not wanting to even hear the name. 

"No. I don't want to talk about him. I'm done with him." 

He bundles a fistful of sheets in his grasp, his teeth already gritting together. The dull reminder of his last encounter with Baekhyun is still evident in his features. Chanyeol could talk about anything else; anyone else. But even so, in the back of his head, he knew that he could never really escape his best friend. Like he was dreading moments earlier, the truth, moreso, he could never go back. He bites his bottom lip, looking up angrily to his ceiling. 

Sehun doesn't say anything, his breath coming out in ragged breaths. 

Chanyeol's eyebrow raises, frustration building in his chest. 

"What the fuck is it?" 

"Well you said not to talk about him-" 

"Yeah well, it seems like this matter won't be solved if I'm not involved so I don't think I have a fucking choice, huh?" 

"It's about Y/N." 

Chanyeol sits up abruptly as he grips the phone tighter. 

"What about her?" 

"Please... not on the phone. I'm too freaked out by him, dude. He could be listening or something." 

"Sehun, he's not that fucking smart. Don't give him credit for something he can't even do." 

"He might not be that smart, yeah. But he has connections, man. Why don't I just come over?" 

And that's how Chanyeol ended up on his day off; sitting in his living room with his black robe on; drinking some coffee as Sehun poured out everything that had occured a couple days prior. 

"Baekhyun... you have to stop him, Chanyeol. He changed Y/N. I don't even know how- but dude. She's not answering any of my texts- my calls. She always lets me know how she's doing. This is completely out of character." 

Sehun ran his hand through his quiffed up hair, shaking his head slightly as his eyes tore into Chanyeol's. They were bloodshot, dark circles sprinkled underneath them. Sehun was young, just a fucking kid. He shouldn't have to be worrying about someone, he already has enough to deal with; a stressful job, debt, and now another thing to pile on top of that... Chanyeol was afraid he was going to break if he didn't do something. 

He sighed to himself as he placed his coffee mug on the glass table in front of his couch. He notices how Sehun's was left untouched, the steam no longer pouring from the rim. He lets his body rest in the cushions, crossing his arms together as his eyebrows furrowed together. 

"So you're telling me that Baekhyun killed someone- again. This isn't anything new, Sehun. What do you want me to do about a case that's already been reviewed and written off as a suicide?" His foot taps against the floorboards quickly. 

Sehun shrugs, scratching his arm and looking around skittishly. 

"I- I don't know. I feel like there's something different about it this time around. Y/N covered for him. She looked off, there was blood on her too." 

This piqued his interest. He leaned into the conversation, his hands clasping together. 

"She had blood on her? What, so... what are you trying to say? That Y/N killed her?" 

The younger one licked his lips, diverting his attention to his abandoned coffee. 

"I don't want to assume-" 

Chanyeol grabbed his mug and threw it across the living room, the sound of it crashing against the wall echoing in the empty loft. Sehun squirmed in his seat, wincing as Chanyeol walked up to him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. He turns his head to the side as his lips curl up, a quiet sob escaping from his throat. Chanyeol shook him, tightening his firm grasp on the other's shirt, making him look directly at him. 

His own nose was flaring, his teeth grinding against another, the only emotion he felt was complete, and utter desperation. He needed to know what this could actually be about; if it was true, and God, he really hoped that it wouldn't be, so he could possibly save you. He wished someone could have saved him when he got interloped with Baekhyun. 

"No games, Sehun. I'm being fucking serious. If you think that she was capable of doing that- you need to fucking tell me." 

His words came out like bullets, firing each and every single one into Sehun's head. When he still doesn't say anything, Chanyeol yells at him, spit flying in multiple directions. He lets go of him, pushing him back on the chair he was sitting in before. He turns his back to him, bringing his hand to cover his mouth, holding onto his lips as he looks around in anger. Sehun's sobs were getting on his nerves, but not because it was annoying; because Chanyeol knew that they were a submission of guilt, the truth. Sehun knew that you were the one who did the heinous crime, he just didn't want to believe it. Chanyeol was used to the never ending cycle of Baekhyun's killings, fuck, he would be nervous if he wasn't calling him in the middle of the night to help him dispose of a body. But Sehun wasn't like him, he wasn't able to confront the truth like Chanyeol could. He was too innocent, he couldn't grasp the understanding of someone killing another just because.

"I- I don't want her to get in trouble, Chan. You have to understand-" 

He spins around, rushing forward toward Sehun, getting down on his knees and holding the other's legs. The poor kid was a wreck, his lips formed into a pout, tears drenching his cheeks, his nose a shade of red. He tries to relax his features, his voice hitching as he speaks to him slowly. 

"If she did this, we can't let her do it again. You have to understand Sehun." 

He shook his head, putting his own hands over Chanyeol's, his knuckles a shade of white. 

"No, please. She can't go to jail, she's just confused- he's fucking maniuplating her. We just need to kill him-" 

Chanyeol lets his head dangle down, a broken chuckle leaving his lips. 

Sehun shakes him a little, his frazzled state becoming overwhelmed at this point. 

"Chanyeol- we- we can do this. We can get away with it. I've thought about it-"

Chanyeol doesn't bring his head up as he cuts him off. 

"We'd be no better than him. Don't you get it?" 

A beat. 

He looks back up with a heartfelt smile, a single tear falling from his eye. 

"In everything, he wins. He will always win." 

Sehun gapes at him, his tears falling on Chanyeol's hands. He purses his lips together, shaking his head. He pushes himself off the chair, grabbing his phone that was left on the table, pausing to look down at Chanyeol. He was frozen in place still, his knees scraping across the floor, still staring at the empty space that once held another body. 

"If you won't help me kill him, I'll do it myself." 

He starts to walk out, freezing as his hand reaches the doorknob. Chanyeol turns his head then, staring at the back of his friend; his brother. His lip trembles as he blinks back more tears, his vision of him becoming blurry. 

"Sehun. Please. Don't."

"You know. I always looked up to you. You were always so composed, so... unreachable. I always felt like I was close to you though. You're so admirable, Chan. I think that's why I liked you so much, why I wanted to be a part of your life. But now," He turns back to look at Chanyeol, his eyes red as he hesitates. 

"You're nothing to me. I will never be what Baekhyun is to you. And in some, twisted way, you're worse than him. Because I know if I asked Baekhyun; if you, were the one fucking killing innocent women, he would do it without me convincing him. Do you know why? Because that's what friends do. And you're no fucking friend." 

Chanyeol lets out a foreign, uncontrolled crack of his voice. He reaches his hand out to Sehun, crawling towards him as he begins to cry. 

"Please, you have to understand-" 

Sehun opens the door, standing in the doorframe, back once again turned to face Chanyeol. 

"You can't even be loyal to something as small as your best friend." 

And that hits Chanyeol right in the heart. He pauses his movements, his nose congested, his chest tight. The same words his own father distastefully instilled in him over and over again. It was back; the haunting feeling of being nothing but the shadow of his father. The same man who didn't care for his own family, his friends. He was truly, and utterly, exactly like him. 

Everything he worked so hard for, it was all for nothing. He never wanted to be like the man who brought him into this world, but as he watched Sehun's silhouette disappear from his sight, he knew that it was over. 

He starts to laugh now, the dreadful noise bouncing off the walls. His body hits the floor, and he brings his knees up to his chest, circling his arms around them. His tall frame shakes as his laughter shakes his entire being. 

"Like father, like son." He whispers to himself. 

Junmyeons' POV

"Hello?" 

Junmyeon sat at his desk, plucking through some documents that were placed in front of him moments prior. He licks his indent finger, thumbing through a flurry of white papers, his eyes skimming the words quickly. He pauses his actions as he hears the recognizable voice on the other end of the line, relaxing in his chair and smiling. 

"You okay? I can't talk for long, I'm swamped in a burglary case-"

"I really need to talk to you right now. In private." 

He clicks his tongue, looking at the workload he was about to dive into. His fingers drum against the desk, he brings his left arm up to examine his watch. He was expected elsewhere on his lunch break, but the immediate worry in his friend's voice alarmed him. 

"How important can it be, Sehun?" 

"Too important. Can you meet me or not?" 

Junmyeon frowns. 

"I was actually planning on meeting Y/N at a cafe nearby the station. You could accompany us if you want?" 

Sehun's voice hitched to a different octave, and Junmyeon sits up in his chair, absentmindedly looking off with a concerned expression. 

"T-that's fine. It's better actually. Can you maybe go on your break now?" 

Junmyeon lowers his voice to a whisper, his eyes flickering outside his office, watching his staff behind their own desks typing away. 

"What is this about, Sehun?" 

"I'm going to tell the truth." 

Junmyeon covers his mouth, feeling both unsure and nervous. 

"The truth?" 

"I can't say anything else on the phone. Just trust me. You're going to want to hear this." 

He doesn't say anything else to Sehun, bringing the phone away from his ear and clicking the end button. He sets his device face down on the desk, pushing himself away from the dilemma he knew was unfolding. His eyes go back to the sight of people working, his lips puckering as his mood soured. He got up from his seat, taking long strides to his window, bringing his hand to close the blinds. 

Once the blinds were completely closed, he turned around to face the full length windows on the other side of the room, letting the warmth of the sun absorb into his skin. He sighs as he walks towards them, his eyes watching as cars zoomed by on the street, a couple walking hand in hand together. His lips tighten together to form a stubborn frown, his arms behind his back, hands clasped together. He starts to think about his encounter with Baekhyun. He ponders on him, remembering his scent, the small details of blood underneath his fingernails. He feels his lip twitch as he can almost smell the disgusting stench of death on him; and yet how another human being can simply dismiss it, be almost accustomed to it, could talk so carelessly. 

He then remembers seeing you. A small hiccup of his heartbeat pounding against his chest startles him. He almost feels embarrassed, and he coughs to regain his thoughts. You were overflowing with anxiety that night, the strucken nerves you displayed filled to the brim and threatening to topple over. He could never forget that, most importantly since you have never been like that in front of him. You were always able to talk to him with the utmost confidence, and that was something he admired about you. Most of his employees were too nervous to even look him in the eye. 

But you? 

You got under his skin, interrupted his thoughts. You didn't care for his position of power, in fact you challenged it. He brushed it aside as being proud of you. You were another person who exchanged the same morals as him, the same mindset. You were a person who didn't let any obstacle stand in your way... you stood for what was right. And somehow along the way, he forgot you were his subordinate. That you weren't just someone he was able to chat and get some drinks with. The undeniable feeling that you were different from other women, you were yourself. 

And your own self was captured by him. 

He didn't know exactly when this exact feeling arose in him. He could probably pinpoint one memory, something that he replayed in his mind when work was beginning to become too much for him. He smiles at the sky, reminiscing. 

After a long shift, the two of you decided to go get some drinks. 

"I told you I would get them. And here you were, not believing in me. I'm hurt." 

You sat next to him at the bar, three shot glasses in front of both of you. You had shoved him with your left arm softly, and Junmyeon could already feel his face warming up from the last shot he gulped down his throat. He shook his head, hissing from the bitter taste of vodka left on his taste buds. He chuckles to himself, raising his hand to the bartender, issuing another round of shots. 

You tilted your head to look at him, and Junmyeon cocked his to match. Your cheeks were probably a brighter red than his, your skin glowing. Small lines crinkling next to your eyes appear, and you break out into a large smile. 

"What? Not going to say anything to that? Come on, you have to fight back!" 

He tossed his hands up, smirking. 

"What can I say? You were right. I shouldn't have doubted you." 

You nod, giggling to yourself. The small clear shot glasses are placed in front of them, and Junmyeon grabs it without hesitation. You followed suit, spinning your chair so you were facing him fully. You raise the disgusting poison that would fill your bodies up, waiting for him to do so as well. He gave in, shaking his head and closing his eyes. He suddenly feels your hand on his cheek, and that makes his eyes shoot up to meet yours. He freezes in that moment, fully taking in how the wind blew your hair to the right. You were shaking your head as you laughed, your eyes twinkling like the stars in the sky. 

But Junmyeon thought they couldn't really compare to them anyways. 

His clouded mind doesn't even register what you were saying, so he has to ask you again what you had said. 

You blinked at him, not breaking the smile on your face. 

"I said, thank you for being in my life. You're the best thing to come out of this job, I finally found someone that makes police work something to get out of bed for. I'm happy I can come in and see you in your office. What makes me even happier is knowing that I'll always be by your side." 

He stutters a bit, blinking rapidly, becoming too self aware of his heart beating out of his chest. 

"T-true that." 

You give him a disgusted look then, bringing the shot to your lips and tilting your head back. A small yelp escapes your lips after you gulp down the liquid, closing your eyes as you shake from side to side. 

"Don't ever say that again. You sound like my dad trying to be hip." 

"Hey! Don't compare me to your dad. It's gross." He rolls his eyes as he copies you, feeling lightheaded as he slams the cup on the table. 

There was an awkward silence for a couple of minutes before he mustered up the confidence to speak again. 

"I'm happy too." 

You look at him, your eyelids drooping down as you smack your lips together drunkley. 

"Huh?" 

He bites his tongue, almost doesn't want to finish what he wanted to say. But with the alcohol in his system, he shakes away the alarms ringing in his head and lets the truth flow from his dry lips. 

"I mean... I'm happy you're in my life. You're quite possibly the best person I've met. I think you're great, you- you're amazing. I want to be the person you can talk to about anything, I want to be there for you when you feel like everyone is against you. I can be that guy that you can call in the middle of the night when you had a fucking nightmare, I- I don't know. You're different." 

Your eyes widen at that, your expression that was onced filled with happiness was replaced with one of curiosity. The way you stared at him made him feel like a creep, and even though you wouldn't be able to notice it through his already red face, a blush sneakily creeped in. He waved his hands off, shaking his head as he laughed it off. 

"Nevermind. I'm drunk. You should probably get home." 

He grabbed his black jacket that was draped around the chair he sat on, reaching for your hand to usher you out with him. You take it gently, and Junmyeon doesn't miss how you had continued to stare at him, not even when you both stepped into the street and began to walk into the night. 

He brings the both of you to a halt when you reach your car. You rubbed your hands over your arms, obviously cold from the chilly night. He raises his eyebrow at you, pursing his lips. 

"Are you cold?" 

You shake your head as you stumble in place, laughing. 

"I'll be fine. I've got thick skin." 

He shakes his head as well, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders. You look at him as he adjusts it over your small frame, and he smiles as he takes a step back to get a good look at you. He lets out a snort, his teeth fully broadcasted to you. You squirm as you fit your arms into the sleeves, looking down as they fully sink in. Junmyeon laughs at the sight, the way your hands aren't even visible once the garment settles on your body. 

"I knew you were small but not that small." 

You stick out your tongue, flinging the extra fabric towards him, giggling as he dodges it. 

"Well, I guess I should get going." 

Junmyeon frowns. 

"You're not driving." 

Your eyebrows hitch up. 

"How am I getting home then?" 

He brings his finger up as he reaches in his pocket, bringing out his phone. He brings up the familiar number to a cab service he could almost memorize at this point; too used to calling them when he got too drunk himself. 

With a quick explanation to where they were at, he slips it back into his slack's pocket. He then fishes out his wallet while you stare at him, still flinging the ends of the sleeves from side to side. He takes out a couple of bills, then walked towards you and stretched his hand out. You looked down at it, then back up at him. 

"I could just call Kyungsoo to pick me up. I'd feel bad about taking your money." 

You barely whisper out. 

He shakes his head, his eyes resting on your lips for a mere second. 

"Don't do that. I can take care of you." 

He didn't mean for that to come out so sensually, it just felt normal in this moment to speak to you like that. Maybe it was because he was drunk, the way he simply didn't care. You didn't say a word as you took the money from his palm, and maybe Junmyeon imagined it, but your fingers stayed a second longer on his. 

You took a step forward, looking up at him. Your features softened, a gentle smile delivered straight to his heart. 

"Thank you, Myeonnie." 

He could feel the warmth radiating off your body, the way the both of you were so close to one another. So he offers his own smile, nodding his head. He coughs to break the tension he was feeling, and your smile falters then. He turns around, dipping his head to look in both directions of the street. He waits until he spots a pair of headlights tumbling down the narrow road, and he waves his hand in the air. 

He watches as you walk next to the vehicle, your hand reaching the handle. You suddenly pause, and Junmyeon looks at your stilled body in confusion. Before he could register anything else, he feels your arms wrap around his waist, pulling him into your embrace. He doesn't know what to do with his hands, just keeps them at bay on either side of his torso. The man in the cab looks at him questiongly, then flashes him a toothy grin. He mimics hugging someone, then points at him to do the same. 

"When someone hugs you... you hug 'em back." You slurred against his chest. 

Your words vibrated against his skin, and he's worried that you would feel just how fast his heart was pumping. So he rashfully swings his arms around you as well, pulling you in tighter. He rests his head on top of yours, bringing his right hand to comb your hair. His nose catches the scent of lavender, and he closes his eyes, taking it in. He wasn't weird, not at all. Employees can hug. They could definitely enjoy the smell of their shampoo too; especially since it was probably a great brand. Yeah, that was it. He just was entranced by whatever product you used... not you. Couldn't be. 

You pulled back from him, your arms disappearing from his waist. He almost wanted to pull you back in, but he knew anything more than that could be worse for him. So he doesn't say anything else when you finally get inside the car. He waves you off, watching your face brighten as you wave excidelty back. He shoves his hands in his pockets, the red tail lights staining his face, morphing the evidence of the reddish hue of a blush. 

"I can't wait to see you tomorrow." He breathes out heavily into the night. 

He replays you saying the nickname you gave him repeatedly in his head, smiling to himself as he sinks into his car. He remembers thumping his fingers tirelessly against the wheel, his head resting against the carseat. He fell asleep in his vehicle that night. It was the best sleep he had ever gotten in his entire life. 

And he had a great fucking mattress at home. 

But for some reason the stiff and uncomfortable leather wasn't that bad. He wouldn't mind a bad back if it meant that he was able to see you. Junmyeon-

"Junmyeon?" 

He snaps back into reality, his eyes focusing on what was once a bright blue sky, now overcast with gray clouds, leaving the city to be shadowed by the rainy weather. He turns around, making sure to keep his composure; not letting his wandering thoughts display on his face. It was Jisoo, Y/N's assistant. She bowed, flattening down her navy blue skirt. 

"Your phone has been going off, sir. Y/N left me a message to let you know she was trying to get in touch with you." 

He nodded, then waved her off. She closes the door behind her, and Junmyeon rushes over to his desk, hurriedly picking up his phone. He opens up his text message inbox and clicks over your contact. 

hey, sehun let me know he's coming. did you know that? 

he also said we'd be meeting sooner than we planned. 2:30? 

see you soon, :) 

He sighs, letting his fingers roam through his hair. He brings his watch up again, 2:00. 

"Fuck you, Sehun." 

-

Junmyeon let everyone know that he'd most likely be back later, and to his approval, no one fought him on it. As he drove to the cafe, he thought about how you would have angrily combated him, probably stomping your feet as you whined about him being behind on his work. He missed having you in the office; and that was the main reason he asked you to meet him today. Sure, the station was well run on his watch, but he needed the stability for himself back. Which mainly came from you; keeping him on his toes and breathing down his back 24/7. 

He wouldn't lie to himself. He was nervous texting you. The two of you hadn't spoken that much, especially when he had issued for you to go on an extended leave. Sure, he had seen you at the crime scene and chatted, but there was an obvious piece of shit glued right by your side. It didn't feel the same. 

You didn't feel the same. 

He parked his car, running over his appearance in the rearview mirror. He looked beat, but that was mostly because he hadn't been sleeping well. He hated to admit it, but most of his nights consisted of thinking about Baekhyun. The chilling looks he gave him... the way he spoke to him like he was beneath him. Obviously, it didn't faze him in the slightest, he was used to seeing deadbeat criminals on an everyday basis. Not that he was a criminal, but, the aura he radiated was one of them, most precisely. The man was off. 

He wasn't like anyone he met before. 

But there was something that Junmyeon recognized. 

He could recognize it so well. It was like reading a book, the way Baekhyun was able to cover his emotions so delicately, so routinely. He did it himself. The mask of mystery was something he prided himself in, especially when it came to his own feelings towards you. He was able to contain his anger, fester it inside of him and let it diminish whenever he commanded it to. Except when it came to Baekhyun. 

"Get him out of your head." He sternly told himself. 

He was there to see you. Not Baekhyun. 

There wasn't any reason for him to think about your... boyfriend. Which- that was still getting some used to on Junmyeon's part. He didn't understand it, and couldn't accept it. The whole arrangement seemed too forced, even seemed too perfect. Two people who had the unfortunate burden of their significant others passing away. What a tragic way to tell people how you met. 

He stepped out of his car, locking it behind him as he ventured towards the cafe he had recommended. He pulled the collar of his jacket out, the same jacket that he adorned on you the night you both had gotten drinks. Junmyeon turned the corner, his Hermès black loafers clacking against the pavement. His sight lands on the back of his friend; Sehun. 

He stood outside the cafe, looking down at his phone. Junmyeon covers both sides of his mouth with his hands, yelling out his name. The younger man perks his head up, looking in the direction of his name being called. He immediately lets his shoulders drop, Junmyeon taking into account that his stress levels must be high. Once he's at arm's length, he pulls him into a tight hug. Sehun grabs onto him tightly, and Junmyeon has to question again just what this could be about. 

They pull apart, and he notices that his friend's eyes are puffy. 

"Are you okay? You look like you've been crying." 

Sehun looks away, patting his eyes with his hands. His chuckle sounds strained, 

"Yeah, yeah. Don't need to point it out." 

Junmyeon puts his hand on his shoulder, rubbing small circles into it. He feels tense. 

"It's okay. I'm here. We can talk about whatever you need to get off your chest, okay?" 

Sehun looks at him, his eyes showing desperation. 

"Once Y/N gets here. That's when I'll feel okay." 

This raises flags in Junmyeon's head. 

"Is she okay? What the fuck do you mean by that?" 

Sehun seems struck with confusion, then he widens his eyes and shakes his head. 

"N-No! I didn't mean anything was wrong with her. She's fine. She's alive." 

 "Why the hell would she not be?" He spits back. 

The raven haired boy starts to speak, but a plop of rain suddenly drifts down from the sky, hitting him on the forehead. He looks up, and just like he flipped a switch, a downpour of rain spills down on them. They both start to cover their heads with their hands, and Junmyeon has to push their wet bodies inside the shop. He lets a breath of relief out as the small cafe warms up his bones. He eyes Sehun carefully, following behind him as he picks out a table in the back corner. They take a seat, being immediately approached by a waiter. 

"I'll take an Americano," Junmyeon smiles at the young teen before he brings his attention to Sehun, "He'll take a black coffee-" 

"N-no. Do you have anything sweet? Like uh... do you have boba?" 

The waitress laughs nervously. 

"We're a coffee shop. I can get you a Mocha. They're pretty sweet to begin with-" 

Sehun nods, bringing his hand up to wave her off. 

"Yeah. That. Whatever." 

She gives him a disappointed frown as she walks off. Junmyeon scrunches his eyebrows together and extends his hands out in an 'What the fuck was that?' manner. 

Sehun looks frantic, his words coming out so fast that Junmyeon has to ask him to slow down.

"Listen- I'm just really freaked right now, okay? I really have to be honest with how I'm feeling about some things and you're the person I know will fix them." 

"Well that really puts more on my plate. I really want to know what you're talking about though. How about you stop running around in circles and just spit it out?" 

The other takes a deep breath, but before he could let loose what was bothering him, his eyes face towards the cafe entrance. Junmyeon continues to stare at him, his mouth left open with his question still dangling in the air. Sehun starts to fumble on his words, his fingers tapping anxiously on the table, and that was when Junmyeon took it as his sign to turn around. But before he could, Sehun grabbed his hand and yanked him back. 

"Don't. Look." He says dangerously low. 

"Junmyeon!" 

He smiles suddenly without thinking, your voice immediately calming his anxious thoughts. He watches as Sehun's face pales, and his hold on his hand is let go. Junmyeon finally turns around to wave at you, a smile smeared on his face- but the sudden excitement to see you is shadowed by the person with his hand around your waist. 

"Jun! Good to see you again!" 

Baekhyun smiles devilishly at Junmyeon as he stops the both of them in front of the table. He wore a black baggy long sleeved shirt, joined with light washed denim pants. A gold chain dangled from his neck, bright against his pale collarbones. He pushed his Ray Bans out of his eyes, pushing back his shabby dyed white hair. He looks at Sehun, cocking his head to the side and feigning fake astonishment as he points at the troubled man. 

"Sehun! It's been so long since I've seen you. Y/N here said you wanted to talk about something important. And, well, since I'm her boyfriend and such a close friend with you- I knew that I had to come with. Do you mind if you sit next to Junmyeon? I just like to be next to her." 

Baekhyun's eyes seemingly pierce through Sehun's shocked demeanor, his jaw left unhinged as the question lingers amongst them. When nothing is said, Junmyeon watches as Baekhyun tilts his head up quickly and uses his eyes to look at the empty seat next to himself. It was almost comical watching Sehun rush out of his chair and accompany Junmyeon on his side of the table. 

You... well you looked like yourself. From what Sehun had framed earlier, Junmyeon was thinking the absolute worst. Maybe you got into an accident, or you tripped and broke a bone. But here you were; bare faced, flushed cheeks and twinkling eyes. You looked fine. 

He watches as Baekhyun pulls out the seat for you, kissing your head as you smile back at him. He adjusts himself on the chair, bringing his hands onto the table rather loudly, the impact of his interlaced fingers thudding against it. He looks between Sehun and himself before he squints and lets a chuckle out. 

"I think I know what this is about." He says matter-of-factly.  

You don't say a word, Junmyeon notes. You instead look down at your lap, your lips still formed into a smile. In return for Baekhyun announcing his educated guess, Junmyeon leans in his chair and tilts back so the two back pegs are only on the floor. He brings a finger to his mouth and speaks diligently. 

"I was only aware that Y/N would be coming. She never mentioned you coming, Baekhyun." 

He watches as Baekhyun's expression doesn't falter, simply adjusts to the tone that Junmyeon laced with venom. He shifts his body to face him, using his right arm to drape around your shoulders, squeezing it. You're wearing a shirt that was unfamiliar to him, it was too baggy on your frame. He guessed it belonged to the unnerving cunt that sat across from him. 

"Well like I stated before, Jun. I'm close friends with Oh Sehun. Right?" Baekhyun looks at Sehun, and the boy nods, not looking back at him. Junmyeon studies his body language; it was like he was a cornered animal, unable to escape. And Baekhyun was the hungry predator ready to pounce on him. 

Junmyeon nods at this. 

"Okay. So what are we here to talk about Sehun?" He places his hand on Sehun's shoulder, taken back when the other jumps a little. 

"I- I. I actually forgot." 

You reach forward across the table, your palm open in front of Sehun. 

"Sehun, you could tell us anything. I'm here for you. You know that." 

Sehun hesitatingly brings his own hand on the table, his fingers inches from yours, but he suddenly pulls back, closing it into a fist. 

"I know, Y/N." He says weakly. 

You look at Junmyeon pleadingly, so he rests his chair back normally on the ground. He starts to pat Sehun's back, then rubs it gently.  

"She's right. You could tell us what's on your mind. You did say it was important." 

He looks up, only to stare directly at Baekhyun. The two of them don't exchange any words- but Junmyeon takes into account how your boyfriend licks his lips and starts to smile. 

What the fuck is happening? And why can't Sehun talk about what is obviously bothering him?

"I think you're nervous to talk about this in front of someone who wasn't invited," Junmyeon states blankly, and you give him a sad look before he continues, "But regardless. He's here, and he said that you're close as well. You agreed to it. Are you lying?" 

Sehun shakes his head quickly. Junmyeon knows he's lying. But he doesn't show the discernment that he's feeling inside, and can't give Baekhyun any satisfaction that he's slipping up in his own emotions. They already had one of them crumbling right in front of their eyes. Before Sehun could say anything else, Baekhyun takes the lead. 

"I know what it is." 

You look at him confused. 

"You do, Baek?" 

Junmyeon sneers at that. But as much as that bothered him, his interest was settled on what Baekhyun would say next. He watched as Baekhyun nodded very surely, tapping his fingers to the rhythm of the song that was playing in the cafe. 

"Sehun has been having suicidal thoughts. I would know. He called me and told me about it." 

And for once, Junmyeon was stunned. He was not expecting Baekhyun to say that, but even moreso, it seemed like Sehun didn't either. He gapes, spreading his hands out on the table, looking in a flurry between the three people seated with him at the table. The police officer watches as a bead of sweat travels down the side of his forehead, his lips beginning to tremble. 

Baekhyun clears his throat, then leaned back into his chair, his arms folding behind his neck. 

"Yeah. He told me he was contemplating suicide. He was too nervous to talk about it since he's never had those emotions before, but I get it. It's not easy to talk about wanting to slice your wrists when so many people have died recently," He eyes the paper menu on the right side of him, picking it up gingerly, 

"But I insisted that he talk about it. Therapists are too expensive these days. I let him know that I'm his friend. He could trust me, you know? But he wanted to see you guys today so... I guess he built up enough confidence to say the truth. Right, Sehun? The truth?" 

No one says anything. They stay silent until the waitress delivers the men's drinks, then quickly draws down your order and Baekhyun's. Junmyeon studies him, how he smiled at the young girl; how he was able to say such obscene things and happily order his coffee like normal. He couldn't understand him, couldn't dissect him at all. He was stronger than he looked but Junmyeon knew that he could crack him. 

It wasn't like he didn't believe what he said, but if Sehun was feeling like that, truly, he knew that he could talk to his friend in private. This wasn't something that the younger would do, not at all. There had to be something else that was itching his brain, but he was obviously too scared to speak about it in front of Baekhyun. 

He picks up his Americano, taking a small sip. 

"How do you know Sehun, Baekhyun?" 

You speak this time, which surprised Junmyeon. 

"Baekhyun told me that they go way back. They used to do business together." 

Junmyeon looks at Sehun, forming a tight knit line. 

"Is that so?" 

"We might have hung out a couple times." He mumbles out before he drinks his mocha. 

He returned his sight to Baekhyun, who shrugged as his smile got wider. 

"What can I say? I'm a people person. Everyone likes me." 

"Even Chanyeol?" 

Baekhyun's eyes dim. He leans into the table, the smile vanishing,

"Even Chanyeol, yes." 

Junmyeon starts to smile this time. 

"You know it's funny. Chanyeol just got into a fight a couple weeks back. Did you know about that? Looks pretty awful if I say so myself." 

You look at your boyfriend in a dazed state, obviously not following the tension that was brewing.

"You didn't say anything about that. But Jun," You purse your lips together, "What does that have to do with anything? We're here for Sehun." 

He looks off to the interior decorating the cafe, little potted plants hanging from the ceiling, strings of lights glowing brightly against the tan walls. 

"Just making small talk. You don't have to get defensive, Y/N." 

You push your tongue into the side of your cheek, looking back down at your lap. 

"I'm not getting defensive. I'm just saying if Sehun is feeling... suicidal, we should be conversating about that. Not about how the Deputy got into a fucking fight." 

"Well it's pretty fucking obvious that Sehun doesn't want to talk about it. Come on, Y/N. You know how to detect body language just as well as I do. It's because of him." 

He jabs his finger toward Baekhyun. The accused man flutters his eyelashes bashfully, resting his chin on both of his hands. 

"Me? What did I do?" He says tauntingly. 

Junmyeon flared his nostrils, the familiar heat rising in his chest like the night he flung your underwear around his face. He wanted to slam him against the wall, yell in his face and realize that he was no match against Junmyeon's strength. He settles on slamming his fists on the table, spilling his drink, the hot liquid traveling on his skin. It burned, but it didn't compare to the fire that was ignited inside him now. 

"You know exactly what I'm getting at here, Byun. You scare Sehun fucking shitless, and for whatever reason he can't even maintain eye contact with you. You're nothing but a weak joke. You cascade this macho persona, but I see right through it. You're nothing but an empty shell that draws on masks and puts it on to fit every single situation. I don't fucking like you."

He lets out an aggravated tsk as he finishes, looking down at the table. He knew he showed too much to Baekhyun, gave him too much information just by playing into his game. He knew now that he was easily triggered by his obliviousness. He wanted to slap himself in the face. 

"Junmyeon. Can I talk to you outside?" 

He looks up to meet your distressed state, and he nods in a flash, standing up and following you outside the cafe. Before you got up, you whispered something in Baekhyun's ear that made his facial features twitch. His eyelids drooped downwards, but he regained his once upbeat personality and laid a kiss on your cheek. He could feel Baekhyun's stare burning holes in the back of his head, but at this moment, Junmyeon didn't care. 

He listened to the small chime of the bell go off as the door closed behind them, then turned to face you. The rain beat down on your head, your once dry hair dampened by the merciless weather. He has to break the silence, you hadn't spoken a single word and continued your stare directly into his soul. 

"What? What do you want from me?" He spats out. 

Your bottom lip juts out, your eyes furiously blinking away the rain. 

"Why are you acting like this?" 

He stands still, letting the rain blur his vision of you. He forms his hands into fists. 

"Like what? Like a normal human being? I don't know you anymore, Y/N. You've changed."

You scoff at that, shifting your weight on your right leg. You bring up your hand and shake it angrily. "Me? I'm the same as I've ever been. You're the one who changed," You cross your arms over your chest, "You don't talk to me anymore. You stopped reaching out, you- you fucking made me leave work! You left me alone after Kyungsoo died, and you expect me to be my bubbly happy go-lucky self? Fuck you." 

You shove him, and when he doesn't move from the impact of your soft blow, you strike him again on the chest. He doesn't change his position, just looks down at you while you pound your fists against his body, watching as you begin to cry. It broke his heart. Seeing you like this. The worst part for Junmyeon was knowing that he couldn't be the one to fix this for you, there would never be the same connection between the both of you unless Baekhyun was out of the equation. 

The most sickening thought to Junmyeon was knowing that you would never leave Baekhyun.

Not for Sehun. 

Not for Kyungsoo. 

Not even him. 

He sighs as he stops your actions in a heartbeat, grabbing your arms mid air. You hiccup as you look back up at him, your eyes filled with tears. Your eyes that stole his heart were nothing but a black hole now, and even if Junmyeon wanted to pull you back out, you wouldn't have accepted his hand. He fights his own sob trying to erupt from his throat, putting on a smile for you. You shake your head, your pink lips forming to say something. But you didn't.

"Are you cold?" He mutters out brokenly. 

You scrunch your face up, your cheeks, a beautiful shade of pink. Your eyes shut closer together as you bite your lip to contain your whines, and shake your head. 

"I... I've got thick skin." 

He licks his lips, looking at the stained ground. He releases his grip on you, letting his arms fall back to his sides. "You should head back inside." 

You shake your head more violently now, punching his arms. 

"You're supposed to give me your jacket, you fucking prick." 

It sounded desperate. Like you were hoping that the connection you had could somehow be fused back together with something as pathetic as a jacket. You continue to hit him, speaking in choked sobs, repeating for him to give you his jacket. But he doesn't listen anymore. He just stares at you, watching how devastatingly broken you were. 

"That's enough, Y/N." 

"No. You need me just as much as I need you." You snap back. 

He shakes his head at you. He grabs the handle of the cafe door, turning his back on you. 

"I don't need you at all. Don't bother coming back to work." 

You start to scream a string of obscenities at him, but he silences the hurtful spikes you were throwing at him. He let the door close behind him, watching as some of the people inside gave him incredulous looks, the waitress peering outside while covering her mouth. He fashioned the cuffs of his jacket so they didn't look so disheveled, then cleared his throat as he approached the table in the corner. 

Baekhyun doesn't say a word, but Junmyeon knows that he's holding back some type of resentment. The man's face distorted into pure anger, his hold on the coffee mug making his knuckles a bright red. Sehun huddled into his seat, not daring to look up at Junmyeon. He sighs at that, lazily looking between the two. He clicks his tongue, bringing his now cold drink up to his lips, gulping it down completely. 

Once he finished, he placed it back gently on the table. He pulled out his wallet and pulled a few stray bills, confidently placing it on the table. 

"I think that should cover everyone here. Sehun, are you coming?" 

Baekhyun stands up, inching towards Junmyeon and stopping until he was only inches away from his face. His head bobs lightly, his tongue tracing his lips before he spoke. 

"Sehun and I are going to spend some time together. Is that alright with you?" 

Junmyeon is tired at this point. He's had enough of Baekhyun. Of you. So he chuckles darkly, making Baekhyun look at him with a quizzical expression. 

"Do whatever the fuck you want. You might want to give Y/N a ride back to her house though. She's completely drenched. You should warm him up, make sure she doesn't catch a cold." 

He turns his feet in the direction he came from, but Baekhyun's hand grabs his shoulder. 

Junmyeon doesn't bother looking back, just stands in place as he looks out the window. 

"I'll fuck her good for you." 

And that was enough for him. He had it. 

Junmyeon laughed, closing his eyes as he turned around slowly. He ducks his head down, bringing it up slightly so Baekhyun would only see his eyes. He smirked at him, opening his mouth to probably spit out some other lewd details, but Junmyeon doesn't give him the chance. He brings his fist to connect with Baekhyun's jaw, watching as the smaller man topples back on the table, his hands gripping onto the edges of it. Screams begin to echo in the once quiet shop, and Junmyeon can hear people scrambling out of the chairs, the squeaks of shoes running right out the door. 

The waitress does nothing but look onto the fight unfold behind the counter, her phone shaking in her grasp as she tries to unlock it. Baekhyun spits on the floor, blood painting the washed out gray flooring. He looks back up, and Junmyeon hesitates as he watches Baekhyun's eyes turn into something almost demonic, his white teeth stained with the ruby color, smiling right at him. It almost felt like he wanted this to happen; but Junmyeon doesn't want to miss the opportunity to beat him to a pulp. 

Baekhyun lands a pretty good punch to his chin, making Junmyeon twist his neck to the left. He shakes it off quickly, running back at him and grabbing him by his shirt, pushing him against the wall. He doesn't stop his fist from hitting his face, not giving him any mercy, just enjoying seeing the blood erupt from his mouth. It wasn't until Sehun pulled him off that he let him go. Baekhyun slides down the wall, his hands weakly spread on the floor, the smile on his face never leaving. 

He wheezes, and Junmyeon just stares as Sehun restrains his arms behind his back, telling him, "It's okay, It's okay." He's in a delirious state now, looking down at his own shirt, the vermillion stains looking right back up at him. He watches as you somehow rush to Baekhyun's aid, looking at him and screaming. But it's all just static in his head. He pushes Sehun off of him, grunting as he winds his shoulder back. He stumbles as he walks away from the gore fest he created, cracking his knuckles. 

"Sir! You cannot leave this premise, I already called the cops!" 

The waitress was crying, her phone raised to her ear as she pointed at him. Junmyeon snickers, looking at her frazzled state. He continues to walk towards the door, stopping as he looks back at her, offering her a genuine side smile. 

"I am the police. Go get him some napkins. He'll be fine." 

He opens the door, looking up at the sky, watching the rain pour down. He smacks his lips together, then without a thought in his head, he takes off his jacket. He looks back inside, Sehun looking back at him with shock, and tosses it on one of the tables. 

"Give it to Baekhyun. He needs it more than me." 

Baekhyun's POV 

"Get in the fucking car, Sehun." 

Baekhyun didn't know what was exactly going to transpire today, but it sure as fuck wasn't this. He sits himself in his car, immediately looking at his face in the mirror. His nose was bleeding, one of his eyes was turning completely red- to which Baekhyun scoffed. 

He looked down at his hand, the faint color of crimson staining it. Usually this would be fine, but in this scenario he was disgusted. There should never be a moment where he, Baekhyun, would be the one spitting up blood. He listens to the back passanger's door close harshly, and he looks at a spooked Sehun staring back at him. He's stark white, his legs crossed over one another, his body visibly shaking. 

He licks his lips as he looks away, gripping the steering wheel. 

"Did you know he was going to do that?" He says sourly. 

Sehun shook his head, looking outside the window. 

"No. I've never seen him like that before." 

Baekhyun punches the wheel then, making Sehun audibly gasp. He turned around in a flash, teeth gritting together, aiming his next words towards the young boy. 

"I'm going to take Y/N home, and if you-" He jabs his finger in the other's chest, "say a single thing? I'll make sure you regret it. You got me?" 

He nods, tears brimming his eyes already. Baekhyun chuckles at that, pulling his hand away from him and sitting back in his seat completely. He clears his throat, blood still spewing from his lips. He grimaces, looking outside his own window this time, watching you walk up to his side with more napkins. 

You tap the window, and Baekhyun nimbly pushes down the button to roll it down. You quickly shove the napkins towards his nose, you're forcing out too many words at once, making you stutter uncontrollably. 

"I- I did- I can't believe he did that. Are you o-okay?" You take sharp breaths in between each word, like it hurt to inhale. 

Baekhyun's heart swells at that, and he rests his hand over yours, stopping your frantic movements. He shakes his head and closes his eyes, trying to remain calm for you. He listens to your ragged breathing, then rests his gaze on yours. He smiles. 

"I'll be fine. Let me take you home-" 

"No. I- I have to talk to him." 

And why did you want to talk to him? Baekhyun wondered. He was only one short circuit away from blowing up, but he reminds himself that it's you, that's he talking to. He couldn't have you thinking he was the controlling boyfriend that he knows he is. Baekhyun would be the composed, innocent man in this situation. And God, it really fucking sucked being good. 

"If that's what you think you should do. Go for it." He narrows his eyes, watching as you didn't expect that response. You nod hestitangly, unsure of what to do with the remaining napkins in your hand. He shakes his head softly, taking them from you. 

"Make sure you text me when you get home then. I'll come over." He says in a whisper. 

You give him a sympathetic smile, "Of course." 

You give him a kiss on his cheek, to which Baekhyun makes sure to record in his memories to fond over later. You turn around, but Baekhyun reaches out his window and latches his grasp on your wrist. You look back confused, but he doesn't even need to say it to you now; something that he pleasantly enjoyed. 

"I- I love you." 

He tilts his head cheekily to the side, letting you go. 

"I love you too." 

He watched until you were only a speck in his vision, and then he grudgingly turned back around again, latching his fangs into Sehun. 

"Get in the front with me." 

Sehun shook his head. 

"I'm okay back here-" 

"Get up here." Baekhyun deadpans. 

So there they were, driving in Baekhyun's car, driving aimlessly. He hasn't said anything to the other, just kept quiet as he tapped his finger on the wheel, watching his windshield wipers dispose of the rain on the car. Sehun cleared his throat when they arrived at a red light, and Baekhyun flickered his eyes on him for a second, then continued to stare forward at the road.

"What?" He says in a sardonic tone. 

"Where are we going? I actually have some work I have to go over-" 

"Really? What is it about?" Baekhyun smirks, hitting the gas pedal. 

Sehun fiddles with his hands, "Just some um, you know. Burglary case." 

Baekhyun nods, his voice ringing in the silent car. 

"Man, I hate people like that. They could be so annoying, huh?" 

Sehun forces out a bitter laugh. 

"Y-yeah. They're... annoying." 

"Tell me Sehun. Because I'm really, really, into what you do for a living. How do you live with yourself when you know you have blood on your hands? Do you think you're better than me?" 

Silence. 

He turns a street, slowing down his speed in the empty neighborhood. He waits for him to say something, but just like he knew, Sehun didn't dare say a single syllable. He looks at the dim lit houses and apartments as he continues his drive, pointing at some and complimenting the exterior. He stops in front of one, moving his hand towards the Park shift. He faces Sehun now, observing how he stayed completely still, his shoulders hunched over, his face looking completely in his lap. Baekhyun snaps his fingers, making the other jump in his seat. 

"You see that house?" 

Sehun diverted his attention outside the window. It was an ugly house; seemingly abandoned from the looks of it. It was almost as if it was being held by strings, the paint chipping off the wood, the lawn a complete jungle. The roof was beaten in, some had already caved in, submitting itself over to the undeniable death. He looked back at Baekhyun, his eyebrow raised. 

"What about it?" 

Baekhyun winced, his eye throbbing in pain. He fixates on Sehun through his migraine. 

"It's beautiful." 

"Beautiful? I don't see how-" 

He slaps his face then, immediately grabbing his cheek to look back at him. 

"Isn't it beautiful seeing things struggle to stay alive? No matter how broken they are. They still manage to live. And do you know why us, as people, no matter how battered and bruised we get, we still get up?" 

Sehun shook his head in Baekhyun's hand. Baekhyun rolls his eyes, digging his fingernails into his skin. "Because they think they have purpose. And where does purpose come from? It comes from the undeniable feeling that something or someone created you- that some being put you in existence because they believed you had something to grace this fucked up reality." 

He lets go of Sehun's face, shoving him against the window. He unbuckles his seatbelt, crawling towards his body and pushing his head on the window. He savors seeing Sehun's breath clouding on the clear glass, his breathing short with each one he took. He locks his fingers in his hair, twisting and pulling it, slamming his face into the glass harder. 

"But do you want to know the one thing that people don't know?" 

He snickers to himself as he grins. 

"I am the person who decides people's purposes. Me." 

Sehun pushes him off, saliva dripping down his mouth, his eyes in a crazed state. Baekhyun raises his hands in the air as if he'd been caught, then relaxes as he leans against his seat. 

"So, Sehun. Can you answer my question?" 

Sehun grips the leather seat, tears staining his cheeks. 

"What question?" He lashes out. 

"Do you think you're better than me?" 

"I- I don't know. Why does this matter, why me?" He spews angrily. 

Baekhyun sighs, lazily draping his seatbelt on himself. He resumes his quaint car drive, not answering Sehun's question. He wracked his mind about this for a while; people who knew they were going to die not cooperating with their killer. It never made sense, Baekhyun enjoyed the manipulative mind games he would play with people, much like a kid playing with their food. Deciding which portion of their meal would enter their mouths... which portion would end up unscathed. If you were in the palm of a sadistic killer, would you rather play with him or fight him? 

The choice was fairly obvious. 

But obviously not. 

The gloomy skies turned a shade of purple and black, the moon resurfacing from its slumber. Baekhyun didn't say anything as he parked in front of the apartment building he frequented often. He pushed back the pain that screamed at him, lifting his hand to grab his car keys. Sehun stayed put, glancing up towards the building. When he didn't react, Baekhyun waved his key in the air questiongly at him. 

"You're not excited to be here?" 

"Why would I be?" 

"Because now you won't be alone with me." 

Sehun uttered underneath his breath, "I'm not talking to him anymore." 

Baekhyun jutted his bottom lip out, masking a look of concern. 

"Not best friends with your best friend anymore? Wonder why." 

"Like you fucking care." 

Baekhyun shook his head, reaching over to the glove box. He opened it up, pulling the sharp object out. He grazed his indent finger over the gray blade, watching how prettily it shined in the darkness. Sehun held his breath, watching Baekhyun admire his toy. Baekhyun smiled brightly, his cheeks warming up. 

"I'm offended by that. I care about my friends. And you're my friend." 

Something in the air changed when Baekhyun stated that; and he took into account how Sehun's once scared shitless exterior softened. Obviously something happened between him and Chanyeol, it wasn't like he necessarily cared about what it was about, but if it could make this more entertaining for him, he'll use it. 

"Get out. If you make a run for it, I'll kill you." 

Baekhyun stood behind Sehun as he entered the apartment building, knife embedded in his lower back. An awkward ride in the elevator was fun for Baekhyun, enjoying how Sehun squirmed in discomfort. He felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket, and without his eyes leaving Sehun's back, he pulled it out. He squinted from the bright light coming from his phone, but that soon was replaced with a heartwarming grin. 

i made it home. let me know when you're coming over. i'll order take out. :) love you. 

He shoved it back into his pocket as the elevator notified them they arrived. He couldn't wait to come back home to you, being able to be overwhelmed with your scent, your body, your touch. He almost stumbled in his step while thinking about it, but he covered it up by pushing Sehun ahead of him, towards Chanyeol's door. 

He brushed some hair out of his eyes, gazing at Sehun's closed fist knocking on the door of his life-long friend. He felt his heart race faster as Chanyeol opened the door in shock, wearing only a robe, his hair in complete disarray. Baekhyun brought his free hand up, waving cutely in his direction. 

"We haven't had a guy's night in a while." 

Chanyeol had let them in, stubbornly, but still- let them in. Which was his biggest mistake in his life so far. Baekhyun had grabbed Sehun by his collar and led him towards the couch. He threw him down roughly, flipping the knife in his hand in the air before jokingly pretending to stab him. 

"Quit it, Baek." Chanyeol shouted at him, taking his place on a chair beside the glass table. 

Baekhyun giggled to himself, flashing the knife at Chanyeol. He grunted as he pushed the tip of the blade away, giving a snarling look. Crossing his arms, Chanyeol pierced his gaze at Sehun, the younger childishly looking away. He snorted at that, then watched as Baekhyun sat in his own chair. 

Chanyeol quipped, "What the fuck happened to you? You almost look as bad as me." 

"Your friend. Junmyeon." Baekhyun grunted out. 

Chanyeol widens his eyes. Then erupts in boisterous laughter, hand clapping included. The two men aren't amused by it in the slightest, and after a couple more seconds of his annoying noise, he dwindles down, fully taking in the tension filled air. He licks his lips and brings his attention back to Baekhyun, but more importantly the blade that was adorned in his grip. 

"What's the knife for, huh?" Chanyeol barks at him. He was nervous, Baekhyun could tell. 

So he shimmies into his seat, ready to watch the show unfold in front of his very eyes; perfectly orchestrated by him. "I thought we'd play a game." 

Sehun sits up in his seat, broadcasting for the first time a sense of confidence. 

"A game?" 

Baekhyun nods sweetly. 

"A game. Rules are that you have to play. If you don't- well you know." He says in a singsong voice. 

He watches Chanyeol stretch out his arms, sighing. He flashes a grim look towards Sehun. 

"Thought you didn't want to see me anymore. Why'd you come?" 

"Yeah, like I volunteered to be held at knife point by Baekhyun. I didn't want to come here." 

Baekhyun stifles back laughter, crossing his legs together as he listens to the argument stirring up. He looked down at his knife; the same knife he used on Mina. If he squinted hard enough, he could still see the faint blood on the pristine gift Chanyeol gave him. 

"Well I don't know, this could be an ambush for all I know. You and your stupid fucking choices that you make. You never learn, do you?" Chanyeol's veins popped out of his neck as he spoke to Sehun. 

Sehun rolled his eyes, looking at Baekhyun. 

"What do we have to do?" 

"What, so you're ignoring me now? Prick." Chanyeol spits. 

Baekhyun stands, interjecting as he raises his hands in the air. 

"Now now. Let's not get too excited to play the game. Let me explain the rules, okay guys?" 

They don't say anything so Baekhyun takes it that they're interested. He loved his friends. 

"So, the whole premise is kind of silly," He chuckles as he walks over to the couch, wrapping his arm around Sehun's shoulders, "Basically, the two of you spill your guts about every horrible thing you've done for me. The one who takes responsibility wins. Pretty easy, right?"

Sehun puckers his lips and begins to open his mouth, but Baekhyun shushes him, grazing the knife on his cheek. "I'm not finished." 

"The one who's too much of a self centered cunt, dies. By who? You're wondering? Well," He stands up, dragging the knife on the glass table, making the men in the room groan from the noise, "By the one who wins. I think it's pretty fair." 

Chanyeol gives him the most stomach-turning frown, his lips trembling in distraught. 

"No fucking way." 

Baekhyun walks behind Chanyeol's chair, his hand bringing the knife to his neck. He inches towards the other's ear, his lips grazing his skin ever so slightly. 

"Aren't we friends, Channie? Best friends, right?" 

His friend's hand grips the chair's arm furiously, "Us being friends doesn't have anything to do with this, Baekhyun." 

"Oh, but I think it does. You know why it does, Chanyeol? Because I have something on you. And if I tell the entire world what Park Chanyeol did- well, that wouldn't end well for you, right? But I'm your friend, so I'll give you a chance to not ruin your perfect cookie cutter reputation." 

He slices Chanyeol's skin lightly, looking down to see the small beads of blood sprout from his neck. He immediately hushes his deep rooted snarls, his body settling into the situation that was being unfolded. Sehun gapes, but he slowly closes his own mouth, eyebrows furrowed together as he leans out of his seat. 

Baekhyun smiles. "Okay then. Who wants to be honest?" 

He sits back down in his chair. Of course, he had something up his sleeve. He slipped his phone out of his pocket, cleverly hiding it from view underneath his thigh. He rummaged through his miscellaneous apps, until he finally clicked on Voice Memos. And finally, the game would actually begin. 

Sehun starts it off, which was little to no surprise to Baekhyun. He was the weaker one out of all of them after all. 

"I- I disposed of the body of Baekhyun's girlfriend. I didn't like doing it though. I- I still have nightmares about it." 

Baekhyun gives a light hearted clap, to which Sehun glares. He looks towards Chanyeol, and Baekhyun copies. He looks tired, his arms hanging off the arms of the chair, his eyes fixated on the ground. 

"Chanyeol? What about you? What have you done?" Baekhyun questions. 

Chanyeol licks his lips, pulled out of the trance he put himself in. 

"I... I haven't done anything." 

God, was he an idiot. He knew his friend was prideful, but did he really have to be when it came to his own life? He sighs, shaking his head. 

"No... I don't think that's right. Come on, spill your guts. We don't judge here!" 

His cheerfulness does nothing to the bland environment. Chanyeol covers his face with both of his hands, something of a sob tumbling from his throat. Baekhyun looks at Sehun, giving him a look that reads, "Can you believe this guy?" 

"I didn't do anything. I haven't." Chanyeol repeats. 

Sehun stands up, anger fusing into his features. 

"I should have known you wouldn't fess up to anything. You're just like your fucking dad." 

Baekhyun gasps, placing his hands over his mouth. He tries to fight off the incoming laughter from his chest, but it spills over maniacally. Of course, he knew Chanyeol's trouble with his own father, I mean he issued him to kill him for Christ's sake. But compared to Baekhyun, Chanyeol's sanity when it came to his dad was utterly gone. He knew not to talk about it; only when it mattered, when it was a reminder. Obviously Sehun didn't know about this. So Baekhyun continued his fit of giggles, his eyes latching onto Chanyeol's furious state. 

"You know, I let it go earlier. I mean, you didn't even give me the chance to say anything before you left, you fucking asshole. But you- you don't know anything about my fucking father. He was a living fucking nightmare, he cheated, he lied, he hit me. I am nothing, like him," Chanyeol kicks his chair back, his body moving faster than he could have been thinking, stopping as he stands in Sehun's face, "So shut the fuck up if you know what's good for you." 

Sehun clenches his fists, mustering up a confident face, but failing horribly. 

"I killed Kyungsoo. I am the person who fucking helped. I disposed of a body. Come on, Chanyeol. Fucking take ownership. Don't fucking die because your pride!" 

With a gurgled yell, Chanyeol punches Sehun in the face, his own face bright red with anger. Sehun fights back, grabbing Chanyeol by his shoulders and shoving him into the glass table, shards gliding on the hardwood floor, pieces stopping at Baekhyun's shoes. Baekhyun's adrenaline shoots up, his already widened eyes stretching out even more, his smile so big it's beginning to hurt. He picks up a shard of glass, flipping it around in his hand as he watches Sehun plummeting his fist into Chanyeol's face. 

He stands up, walking behind Sehun and seeing his friend's face go in and out of consciousness. His lip is busted, blood is sprayed on his chin and exposed chest, his eyes are in a dazed, frenzied state. Sehun freezes his movements, taking a deep breath in before he pulls Chanyeol up, looking him straight in the eyes. 

"Chanyeol. Please, say something." 

He spits blood on the younger's face, yet Sehun stays stoic. He whispers this time, 

"Choose me. Choose to live." 

Baekhyun huffs annoyed, giving Sehun's ribs a hard kick, watching him cripple up and fall on the ground. He stands over Chanyeol now, both of his feet on either side of him, crouches down and smacks his lips together.

"What did you end up doing yourself, huh, Yeol?" He brushes some of Chanyeol's dark locks off his forehead, gagging as he touches some of the blood that was painted into his skin. 

Chanyeol's voice is brittle as he speaks, "P-please. Help." 

The words came out weakly, each syllable too painful for him to escape from his mouth. Baekhyun ponders for a moment, then nods his head. He picks up his battered friend, sitting him up and dragging him so he leans on the chair he had kicked back moments prior. He slaps him a little, trying to keep him conscious. When he finally lets up and keeps his eyes open, Baekhyun waves the knife in his face gleefully. 

"You want me to help you, right?" 

Chanyeol nods slowly, his eyes crossing repeatedly, trying to focus on him. Baekhyun let's a small, "uh-huh," out, then walked towards Sehun. He repeats his action, dragging his body and stopping to drop him right in front of Chanyeol's feet. He digs his foot into Sehun's neck, putting pressure steadily, watching him struggle to push him off. Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol with a straight face, eyes dark. 

"What do you want me to do, Chanyeol?" 

Chanyeol, becoming more and more aware of what's happening, gurgles on his own blood, sputtering out drops of the red on Sehun's face. He shakes his hands, getting on his knees and trying to remove Baekhyun's foot from the other's throat. Baekhyun sneers at that, disappointment settling into his features. He keeps his foot on the other's throat and takes a step in Chanyeol's direction, bringing the knife to the side of his neck. 

"You can't save him. But you want to know what you can do?" Baekhyun lashes out in anger. 

Chanyeol shakes, looking up defeated. 

"W-what?" He says brokenly. 

Baekhyun removes the knife from his throat, then points his finger and motions for Chanyeol to get on top of Sehun. It takes him a moment to register what he's asking, but nonetheless, he does it. And Baekhyun feels almost a little bit of pity for him; but it's quickly erased when he hears Sehun wheeze against his shoe. He takes his foot off of him, crouching behind Chanyeol, placing his hands on his shoulders, leaning his head against the crook of his neck as he peered down at Sehun. 

"What do you want to say, Sehun?" Baekhyun asks. 

There's fear in his eyes, and the all knowing feeling that his last words were coming soon. He knew the look all too well, loved seeing it. But in this moment, it felt different. Rather than the impending speech of love being tarnished, a future of marriage memorized and said endless amounts of times to potential lovers, this was Sehun. Sehun, who played the game right, Sehun who didn't let pride wash over him. It made Baekhyun feel... like a God. He was the one who wrote the script, who decided to change the rules if it didn't seem fit to his liking, he was- He Is- God. 

"The answer- to your question." Sehun says shakily. 

Baekhyun shapes his mouth into an, "O '' shape, nodding his head and biting his lip eagerly. 

"Yes? And what is that?" 

Sehun looks directly at Chanyeol as he speaks, 

"I'm not better than you." 

Baekhyun hears Chanyeol's voice hitch, his body trembling. Sehun continues. 

"You win. You'll always win, Baekhyun." 

"Exactly. Now, Chanyeol," Baekhyun slithers his hand down to Chanyeol's, placing the knife in his hand, "I'm going to give you something that you've always wanted." 

Chanyeol replies in a monotone voice, "Which is?" 

"To kill and rid of the obstacle in your life. I won't do it for you this time. Think of it as a gift." 

He looks as Chanyeol slowly but surely wraps each finger around the hilt of the knife, until it is in his grasp most surely. Baekhyun gingerly brings his hand on Chanyeol's arm, pushing it towards Sehun's chest. He lets go once the blade is inches from Sehun's own flesh, pausing to watch what his friend would do next. 

Sehun sobs, "We can still do it. We can still kill him, Chanyeol." 

"Is that right, Chanyeol? You can still kill me? Well look, I'm right here. Do it." Baekhyun lets the last words drip with curiosity. 

Chanyeol doesn't make any movements. He stays on top of Sehun, knife remaining inches from his chest. His troubled breathing is the only sound in the apartment, only until he speaks with the utmost confidence. 

"I... I can be loyal to something as small as a best friend, Sehun." 

Sehun's eyes glimmered with hope then, Baekhyun almost faltering in his own confidence. 

"Yes- Yes, Chanyeol! I knew you would choose me-" 

And Chanyeol followed his words as he plummeted the knife into his friend. 

"Chan...chanyeol?" 

Sehun's mouth was left agape as he looked down shakily at the knife sticking out of his chest, Chanyeol's body hunched over Sehun's in a ghostly manner. Baekhyun let out a nervous chuckle, putting a hand over his heart, closing his eyes in relief. He doubted- for a second, that Chanyeol would be persuaded by the meaningless words Sehun spouted out. But Baekhyun knew. 

"I knew you would choose me." Baekhyun says sarcastically, mimicking Sehun. 

Chanyeol says nothing as he takes the knife out of Sehun, throwing it away from his sight. He picked up the limp body now, his hand moving behind Sehun's head, pushing it up, shaking it. 

"Sehun? Sehun, please. I- I didn't do it. I didn't-" 

A string of sobs continued after, and Baekhyun walked quietly to retrieve his weapon, cleaning off the blood with his already ruined shirt. He made his way back to Chanyeol, who was attempting to revive Sehun's dead body, chest heaving as snot shot from his nose, his tears cascading on the corpse's face. Baekhyun snaps his finger, earning a devastated and desperate look from Chanyeol. 

"And where's my thank you for saving your ass?" Baekhyun crossed his arms together. 

Chanyeol blinked, his face morphing into one of shock. 

"Thank You? What the fuck do I have to thank you for? You killed my-" 

Baekhyun stamps his foot as he yells, 

"You! You killed him, Chanyeol. Not me. Maybe I should have let Sehun kill you; you still can't play the game fucking right. Piece of shit. You can't even say thank you for the gift I gave you, some fucking stability in your life, jeez. Also," He snakes out his phone from his pocket, waving it in the air, then clicking the button to end the voice memo, "I have it all recorded. I'll just keep it as a reminder for you." 

Chanyeol grips Sehun's body closer to his chest. His left eye was swollen shut now, the blood dried on his face and chest. Baekhyun didn't think Chanyeol looked any better than right now. So he sticks his phone back in his back pocket, slipping the knife in the other. He walks over to the door, but Chanyeol stops him with one last pleading question. 

"Baekhyun. Why... why didn't you kill me?" 

Baekhyun stills. He looks over his shoulder, smiling. 

"Because. You're my friend." 

"Goodbye, Chanyeol." 

And as he closed the door behind him, he listened to Chanyeol unleash a blood curdling scream. He relished in it, humming a tune to himself as he walked down the hallway. He brought his phone out as he entered the elevator. He typed happily, his thoughts finally only becoming about you. 

on my way back. i missed you so much. i'm so happy. :)

[fuffleton]

A rant on why benapuff is an awesome ship, and why all the arguments against it I’ve seen against it fall apart.

“Benatar/Puff isn’t gay”

The easiest argument first, the character have no outright confirmed sexualities and bisexuality is a thing. Also, I’m just saying how Puff acts towards Deejay in Pity F*ck isn’t very straight. What the hell do you mean “Seeing his friend in a new light” what like one of those rainbow LEDS? And the amount of lines Puff says like “It’s time for some Man on Man action 😎” definitely aren’t very heterosexual behavior. And, Benatar in the my balls alt cover. “How big are they?” This argument is made towards every single queer ship and it all adds up to blatant homophobia or just not liking a ship and being a asshole about it.

“It’s toxic because the way Puff treats Benatar/they hate each other”

That’s a nice counter argument, but unfortunately I had sexual intercourse with your mother/j- But seriously, this is a fair point on the surface, but seeing as I over analyze characters that didn’t have enough runtime to even develop into characters, I have a few things to mention. No time in the entirety of yfm is does Benatar act genuinely hurt towards Puffs comments, ever. Like sure he might frown but he’s always frowning. Always. That’s his reaction to everything, he’s a bit dense. I think the Fandom Wiki says it pretty well, “This could be friendly bantering, but it is not clear.” Another thing, Benatar joined in on the bullying in Road Rage (the episode), he was smiling and everything, he thought that shit was hilarious. And Benatar willingly does things, like he’s never manipulated into doing anything for the band, and yet he’s featured in a majority of the songs, ends up saving the band in Zombillies when he himself clearly didn’t give a shit, and gives Puff advice in the beginning of Bus Arrest. They’ve been good friends sense high school AT LEAST. If they hated each other they wouldn’t do any of that.

“It’s Proshipping!”

Uh, no 😨??? Proshipping is shipping character who are canonically abusive, related, underaged and overaged, etc. And if you read my last point you’d hopefully understand it’s not any of those things, they’re not related, and Benatar is 22 while Puff is at least 21, seeing as yfm likely takes place in America they’re all at least in their 20s. Using the term like that to describe unproblematic ships is really harmful, it paints us in a really bad light, and it over shadows the actual proshippers that need professional help.

“Shipping is RUINING the fandom!!!”

Ok this is a dumb point but I see it in a LOT of old revived fandoms, and this just covers all the popular ships, Axeben, Deepuff, you get the gist. So no, shipping is and always be a thing. And every fandom has bad apples, all of them, especially yfm. The fandom has always been overly-sexualizing, harassing people, etc. It was never good. Ever. There are a lot of good things, yes, but with the source material being the way it is what do you expect? A person shipping some British guy and his annoying ass friend isn’t going to make it worse I promise.

And now, drum roll please, why this is a cool and awesome ship 🤭 a numbered list of just a handful of things

The HARMONIES and the DUETS oh my FUCKING GOD I LOVE IT. Them singing together fuels my soul, that’s true love guy shut it.

Ok so we know that Puff usually values looks over everything. Like he loves Tig, in a genuine way (a post for another time), but he values her looks so much so that it’s one of the first things that actually come to mind. Imagine how much fucking delicious character development you can have, if you had him slowly develop feeling for someone he wouldn’t immediately find attractive, especially if it’s Benatar of all people. Fucking scrumptious.

Do you know how many tropes I can fit into these two? Depending on the day, or how I feel. Lovers to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Highschool crushes, opposites attract, only one bed, etc. Benapuff works so well for it okay? It’s perfect.

They can make each other better I’m telling you. They balance each other out.

“How big are they 🇬🇧😆”

THEY SHARE BUNKS. AND BENATARS ON TOP PEOPLE IT’S RIGHT THERE. Look I’m clenching st straws give me credit.

Their shared energy in We Like Them Girls is immaculate. Benatar literally ran a Woman over with his car what an icon.

It brings me joy and the shippers are like really cool

[pyroclastic727]

Owl House said fuck capitalism

So this episode was interesting. Lilith pretty much killed her sister. Why the fuck would she do that?

Even more interesting: why is Belos like that? How did Hooty put his head through one of those guards? Who the fuck is the Titan, and why does everyone like him? And how are these all tied together?

This episode was a metaphor for capitalism

...and another delicious step towards radicalizing the youth into dismantling this fucked-up neo-feudal system.

We’ll start with Belos. 

Emperor Belos is a weird name, don’t you think? We all thought it was spelled “Bellows,” but it wasn’t. In fact, it’s five letters, starts with Be, ends with os, and describes a megalomaniac emperor that restricts people’s freedom in order to accumulate wealth for himself.

Sound familiar?

Emperor Bezos Belos created capitalism. He saw the beauty of magic and decided to make himself the most powerful.

Belos created a system that destroys the masses and boosts his power.

 I’m dipping into fan theory a little, because the fan theory fits. We know that people get branded with coven magic that makes it so they can only specialize in one area. We know that Belos is the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles. We know that the excess magic, magic created by restrictions, has to go somewhere.

It’s the same system that many viewers see all the time. A job takes up all your day and tires you for the night, so you can only do one skill for the rest of your life. Jeff Bezos is the most powerful man in the United States. Excess money, money taken by restrictions, has to go somewhere.

The magic goes to Belos, like how the money goes to Bezos. Belos created capitalism, and he won it.

The guards aren’t real. 

Look, we’ve never seen their faces. They’re all the same. Why would you work so hard to get to the top, just to become a nameless, faceless killing machine?

Oh, also Hooty stuck his face through one. There is nothing under the armor.

Why? Well, it’s the same reason you see all those celebrities going around flaunting their wealth and bragging about how hard they worked. Like all those songs about how they grind every day and work harder than everyone else while you’re out clubbing, and that makes them dope. And then you take a closer look at them and see that they had a small loan of a million dollars fueling them, or an entire talent agency behind them, or their dad was a famous country star in the 80′s. 

They’re fake. They’re hollow. They’re a ploy created by the capitalist emperor to try to delude you into working harder. 

Let me put this into perspective. I guarantee that every single one of you has heard stuff like this: “Hard work makes you successful.” “I put in the work, and that’s why I’m successful.” “If you work hard enough, then you can be as successful as Mark Zuckerberg.” 

And unless you’re a robot or really lucky, I’m sure all of you have failed at this. Maybe they told you that hard work would make you good at math, so you spent 22 hours a week working on calculus, only to pass it by 3 percentage points and have it destroy your perfect 4.0 GPA. Maybe they told you that if you talked to people enough, then you would make friends, so you spent a lot of time talking to people, only to end up lonely and friendless. Maybe they told you that if you did well in school, you would get a good job, so you spent all your time working hard to be a good student, and then ended up in a soulless, dead-end job.

The guards are there to delude you. Look, who really gains from you being productive? The answer is the ruling class, the CEOs, the government, the bourgeoisie. It has always been that. All you get from working is a paycheck that lets you survive. They get a paycheck that lets them get rich. Just like Belos gets the magic and productivity of the specialized coven witches.

The guards are there to trick you. The truth is that nobody can join the Emperor’s Coven. It’s just there to make you think that hard work will make you successful. Then you spend your entire life working hard, trying to prove to the person in charge that you’re worthwhile. You give your whole life to the Coven, and they give you nothing. 

Magic is supposed to be something you pursue for fun. Being skilled at things, being good at something beautiful...that’s supposed to be something you do because you want to. But they took that and made it into a source of productivity. It doesn’t matter if you make good content. All people fucking care about is if you upload the day of premiere, if you make a lot of content quickly, if you maintain a million different conversations with strangers who expect you to be the most interesting person in the room. They don’t care how it hurts you. They don’t care how you crack from the stress. How you cry when you think no one can see you, and then you check your phone and someone can see you, someone did see you, and you have to put on your face and be the charming, magnetic person they want you to be. (oh by the way that’s why I wasn’t online much last week)

And it ruins it. Suddenly you can’t watch The Owl House without being stressed. You can’t make any content. You can’t make spells as powerfully as you want to. Your passion is replaced by perfectionism and insecurity, a voice telling you to keep being the best at what you do, or else they’ll forget you and let you die.

There’s also the Titan. 

So nobody has mentioned him before, because in addition to the Boiling Isles being a hellscape full of witchcraft and queerness, it’s also full of atheists. 

But suddenly we have people saying all this shit about him? Shit like, he gave witches the gift of magic, and then they learned to use it in a civilized manner, since being uncivilized was disrespectful?

I mean, first off, that’s fucking wrong. The island gives people magic. The island, which just so happened to be shaped like a titan-sized human. But the island/titan gives everyone all types of magic. Hell, even Luz gets to use magic, and she’s human. 

It sounds really fucking familiar. (tw for discussion of homophobia and colonialism and misogyny). It sounds like when the news is on and they show some Tr*mp supporter talking about how fetuses have more rights than people and it is their holy duty to take away a woman’s control over her body and force her through unbearable pain and into an 18-year commitment she didn’t want to make. It sounds like all the times people tried to say homosexuality should be illegal, citing a single line in a book written two thousand years ago and heavily edited by a European king. It sounds like all the times people said God wanted them to conquer, to own the entire earth, to force the other races into pain to support them.

This is that bullshit thing people do where they commit awful sins and justify it by citing the will of God. 

Or, it’s the Coven using religion as an excuse for evil.

Look, the Emperor’s Coven is clearly colonizer-coded. Saying that people’s original form of magic was wild (and showing a picture with the same joyous, rowdy energy of an 18th or 19th -century Black or indigenous party), and that it was God’s will for them to be “civilized?” Sounds like that thing that powerful white people did where they went and murdered people and forced them into their twisted capitalist system. God, gold, and glory, is what they said, because history books just love to omit the gore.

Lilith is passing the abuse cycle along. 

You know, like a good little colonizer. God I fucking hate her. She’s a MILF, in the sense that she’s a Mother I’d Like to Fling off a cliff. 

Ah, enough screaming about how much I want to drown Lilith in a tub of Hooty’s mucus. Let’s go into why I want to do that, and how she took the evils of capitalism and just...adopted those.

So, Lilith is sick and twisted for what she did to her sister. But, uhh, that’s the point. You see, there are so many other people out there like Lilith who would do the exact same thing, if given the chance. These are the people who do mean things when the teacher isn’t looking, and then act nice and try to frame you. These are the people who will hate you if you’re better than them. These are people who would do anything to bring you down, if you dare outperform them.

It’s greed, my friends. The mental illness that capitalism blesses us all with.

Lilith herself said it: she dedicated her entire life to the Coven. What she wanted was to be the best. And she almost was...except for her own sister. Someone who lived with her, annoyed her at home, bested her at school. Someone she could never beat, no matter how hard she worked. And her sister was younger than her, too! How insulting was that? Lilith wanted to be the best, and someone in her exact situation did better than her.

Lilith was insecure. And it consumed her.

But why? Why does insecurity consume her? I mean, no one can be motivated by insecurity forever. Well, not unless someone conditions it into you.

The lovely thing about the capitalist system is the morals it teaches you. Things like: “You’re only useful if you’re the best.” “Being school smart makes you smart, while being social smart or sports smart or creative smart or fandom smart is worthless.” “Your worth can be quantified by numbers and is based off arbitrary measures like your income or your grades.” Things that can and will drive us crazy if we let ourselves believe them.

And it did drive Lilith crazy. She got so twisted by a society that said being good at magic is her only worth. Look, Lilith used to be good at things, probably. She was good at sports. At times, she slips up and does an okay job of being Eda’s sister. She has a powerful presence when she’s in a room. And she’s wicked good at manipulating people. 

But that didn’t matter. Lilith bought into the lies. She let herself believe that magical skill was the only way to measure her worth. And since she needed to be the best, she hurt Eda for it.

The beautiful thing is, Eda didn’t buy that. "It’s my power, kid. And before you showed up, I spent my whole life wasting it.” Is what Eda said, as she used up the last of her power, the last of her life, to save Luz. In her final moments, she proved that she’s not like them. She’s stronger than them.

None of this matters. Not magical prowess. Not the hierarchy. Not the promise of joining the Coven and having more power than anyone else.

The only thing that matters to Eda is her family. Her real family. Her Luz, King, and Hooty. And by extension, Willow, Gus, and Amity. Those are Eda’s real reason for fighting, for dying: to protect them. Look, there’s no way she would’ve come out of that fight alive. She has a family, and her love for them is stronger than greed or jealousy or capitalism. 

Lilith never understood that. She thought the water of the womb was thicker than the blood of the covenant. Or, that the water of the womb and the blood of the covenant are stronger than the bonds of found family. She thought it didn’t matter if Eda loved, her, only if the Emperor loved her. Fucking bitch.

And now, a little something to worry about, before we go. Amity Blight. The girl who wanted to join the Emperor’s Coven more than anything, who dedicated her whole life to doing well in school, to being the best, to being perfect.

And then she met Luz. She fell for Luz. Now she’s in a tricky place, where habit and conditioning want her to join the Emperor’s Coven, but her heart wants her to do the impossible and destroy capitalism.

She wasn’t in this episode. Funny that being injured and unable to work ended up saving her from watching her future mother-in-law die. So she bought some time.

But Luz’s true mom is dead. This is the second mom she has lost, and she’s only fourteen. As powerful as King and Hooty are, Luz needs Amity. Luz needs Amity to support her and help her get back her mom.

So Amity has to make a choice. Fear and insecurity, or love and a high chance of death? 

She’ll probably choose death. Because that’s the message that this family-friendly show is giving us kids. Fuck capitalism. All you need in life is to do what makes you happy and be with the ones you love.

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

I Know What You’re Thinking, You’re On My Mind (You’re Right)

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Plus Size!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Angel are in love and these are different moments in the span of their relationship.

Warning(s): Just a lot of fluffy goodness....okay some angst (it’s me lol) but mostly fluff

Word count: 2,526

AN: This is kind of a songfic, but also not really? I think of it as a bunch of drabbles loosely connected by random parts of a song. Song title and inspo from Come Close by Common ft. Mary J. Blige. The sweetest little fic I’ve ever written. Fat Black girls deserve to be loved loudly. This is for us. As always, questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed. Happy reading lovelies! xo

Smile, happiness, you could model it And when you feel opposite I just want you to know Your whole, being is beautiful I'ma do the best I can do Cause I'm my best when I'm with you

The sound of a domino being slammed on the table caused several other park goers to turn their heads and see a striking woman jumping out of her seat.

“That’s domino bitches! Y’all really thought you could beat me in dominoes? Shoulda checked my credentials mofos!” Y/N shouted, a huge smile on her face as she talked shit.

The guys around the table all groaned and huffed as she celebrated her win. Coco swore up and down that he would be the winner and Gilly was just as sure that he would be the one. EZ just wanted to play and Angel kept his mouth shut knowing his girl had been playing dominoes with her father and uncles practically all her life.

“Whatever, Y/N. You not seeing me in poker.” Coco grumbled, though he was fighting to keep a smile off his face. He was impressed.

“Well this aint poker is it? Run me my money.” She replied, rubbing her fingers together before holding out her hand.

The men all pulled out their wallets and placed the correct amount of money into Y/N’s hands. She grinned as she fanned herself with the money before draping her body across the smirking Angel’s lap.

“Oh hey there sexy. If you’re nice I might buy you something with this considerable fortune I just won.” Y/N winked.

“You my sugar mama now?” Angel teasingly asked.

“I do taste sweet so I think I fit the description.”

“Damn right you do.” He smirked, before leaning down to kiss Y/N’s lips.

Santo Padre’s mayor, Antonia Pena, had put together a community fair to help raise money for the town and uplift spirits. It was also a great way for local businesses to showcase what they have to offer. Services and items were put into a raffle that everyone who attended the event got entered into. Y/N even managed to convince Felipe to have a little booth to show off his fine cuts of meat and how they could best be used in meals.

Angel was so in awe of her. She managed to pull even his grumpy ass father out of the house and she was constantly a source of light in his life. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky, but he knew he never wanted to let her go. He loved her more than anything and he knew she felt the same about him. She never doubted him or made him feel inadequate. She understood even the ugly parts of him. Didn’t excuse or condone his behavior, but she understood it and always reassured him that she knew he could do better.

“Whatchu staring at?” She asked, after the kiss ended and he kept his intense gaze on her.

“My whole world.” He answered honestly and she felt herself get a little emotional.

“If you make me cry in public, I will hurt you.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” He replied, nipping at her shoulder and making her grin.

I know in the past, love Has been sort of hard on you But I see the God in you I just want to nurture it Though this love may hurt a bit

Neither of them had the best track record when it came to relationships. Angel had an awful habit of doing things without thinking about the consequences of his actions. Impulsive isn’t a strong enough word to describe how he is. He runs on emotion a lot of the time. It frustrates Y/N to no end. She doesn’t operate like that. She rarely if ever acts on impulse. She thinks too much. Worries too much about how people will react to her and her actions. Her hesitance to engage in things before she’s run every possible scenario through her head makes Angel want to pull his hair out. He hates seeing her unsure of herself. He makes it his mission to help her just get lost in the moment sometimes. And she tries her hardest to slow him down and make him think more on things before he acts.

His lifestyle also guaranteed their love won’t always be sunshine and roses. The first time Angel got hurt Y/N thought she was going to pass out. The level of panic and fear she felt almost took her down. When she finally got to see him in the hospital bed, she burst into tears. Once he was healed, she tried to pull away from him but he wouldn’t let her. The one time Y/N was verbally and physically accosted in front of Angel, he almost shot someone right in front of her. The need to protect her almost overrode his need to keep her away from the more violent side of himself.

The silence was deafening. Neither one was ready to take the first step and speak. The whole ride back home, Y/N never said a word. Not when Angel was getting chewed out by Bishop or when several people practically gawked at her even as they tried to make it seem like they weren’t. She was silent as she went through her nightly routine and prepared for bed.

It was as she sat on the edge of the bed, preparing to slide under the covers that Angel finally snapped.

“You’re really not gonna fucking say anything?” He practically growled at her, glaring at her from where he stood at the foot of the bed. He had on his usual sleepwear of a tank top and sweats.

She sighed, “What do you want me to say Angel?”

“Anything. Cuss me out, kiss me, or I don’t know, maybe thank me?” He suggested, sarcasm in his voice at the last part because he was clearly exasperated.

She cut her eyes at him fiercely. “Thank you? You want me to thank you?”

“Yes.” He stubbornly confirmed.

She shot up from the bed and spun to face him full on. She had never been so mad at him. “Thank you Angel for causing a bigger scene. Thank you Angel for almost igniting a war between two gangs over one stupid joke. Thank you for putting yourself in harm's way and almost giving me a heart attack. Thank you so much Angel.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. It wasn’t just a stupid joke. You think I care so little about you that I wouldn’t fuck someone up for you?”

“I’ve heard way worse..” She argued, so used to minimizing her pain. Her dismissal of the incident as something trivial made him even more pissed.

“I don’t give a damn what you heard. Aint nobody gonna disrespect you in front of me and think I’m just gonna let that shit slide.”

“You could have killed him.”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.” He exploded, making her freeze and stare at him with her mouth slightly open. “You’re mine. I don’t know what kinda cowards you been dealing with before, but I don’t play that shit. There is no joking when it comes to you. Not from some hijo de puta who has the audacity to put his hands on you. He’s lucky the only thing I did was bust him in the head with my pistol.”

“Angel…..” She sighed, her eyes closing as she took in his words. She understood his point but was still uncomfortable with the methods.

He walked over to her and cupped her face in his hands. He kissed her forehead before resting his head on hers. He spoke only after she opened her eyes, “You can be mad. I already know you are, but I’m not apologizing for protecting you.”

She had to get used to being loved and protected so adamantly by someone. So often left to comfort herself and bury her hurt, it took her a while to accept Angel’s form of protection. A part of her kept her guard up waiting for him to turn it against her, but that day never came. Any violent outbursts he had in her presence were never directed at her and so she found herself trusting him whole-heartedly. Her love for him deepened as time moved forward.

You helped me to discover me I just want you to put trust in me

Y/N loved Pops and she enjoyed the family dinners with him and EZ, but she knew he was not the perfect father. He made mistakes and Angel still hasn’t completely dealt with the issues the mistakes left him with. Everything just got buried. She knew when he was starting to feel inadequate or like he didn’t deserve her because he would become even more clingy. He was already very affectionate with her, always having a hand on her back and kissing her head. She loved how open he was, but when he was going through it the touches would have a desperate edge to them. Like he was trying to prove something.

A new episode of Joseline’s Cabaret played on the tv showing off the Puerto Rican Princess’ latest antics. Y/N had on sweats and a tank top as she laid on your back and giggled at the fight on her screen. She doesn't know why she watches that show, but it was entertaining.

Her front door opened and in walked the man she’d been seeing for a year now.

“What did I tell you about leaving this door unlocked?”

“I knew you were coming over so why would I lock it?” She argued, tilting her head back to watch Angel toe off his shoes and take off his kutte.

“You’re so hard headed.” He slapped the outside of her thigh and leaned in for a kiss before lying in between her legs. His head rested on her stomach and her hands immediately began running through his hair. His hands ran over her thighs as he buried his face in her belly and just breathed her in.

“You walked right in so obviously I was right.” Her hands moved from his hair to slide down his back, feeling for any new bruises. “How was your day? Do I gotta kick someone’s ass for messing with my man?” She asked, a teasing tone to her words even though she was kinda being serious.

“I’m all good, mi dulce.” He responded, already knowing her touches were to comfort him but also give herself some peace of mind that he was with her and he was still whole.

It was quiet for a moment before Angel propped his chin on her belly and looked at her. She brought her attention from the television to him. There was a gentle look in his eyes, full of love but also a vulnerability that made her heart clench.

“You love me right?” He gripped her hips tightly as he searched her eyes for the truth in her words.

Her eyes widened at his question. “Of cour-”

He interrupted her. “Because I love you so damn much, querida. I know I’m not easy, but I try to be better for you.”

“Angel…” Her hand gently caressed his cheek as she softly smiled at him. “You are my favorite person in this whole world. You love me like no other and I’ll always love you. Never forget that. And when you do, I’ll be here to remind you.” She leaned forward to kiss his lips and felt his grip on her hips loosen.

The two shared loving kisses for several minutes before he pulled away and kissed her stomach before laying his head back down. His attention finally focused on the television. “What the fuck are you watching?”

She was unable to contain her giggles.

I kind of laugh when you cuss at me The aftermath is you touching me

“Oh, is that funny? Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Not at all gorgeous.” His words and his facial expression did not match.

“Then why are you smirking? I’m as serious as a heart attack. If you miss the ceremony where I’m awarded for my work, we’re gonna have some big problems Reyes.” She threatened, not letting that smirk get to her as it usually did. The club pulled him away a lot but some things she just needed him present for.

“Mmhm…how big?” He asked, still joking around.

“Angel!” She admonished, striking out to punch him in the stomach and making him grunt.

“You know I love when you scream my name. Sexy as fuck.” He growled, before playfully tackling her to the bed. She finally laughed as he kissed and nipped at her neck. He pulled back to look down in her eyes. “Hey, come hell or high water Imma be there. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

The smile she flashed him was bright enough to light the darkest of nights.

I'm tired of the fast lane I want you to have my last name

Dabbing her eyes with a napkin, Y/N smiled as Angel and EZ shared a heartfelt hug after the best man speech. She knew EZ’s speech would be beautiful and she thanked him for his kind words.

“You’re my sister for real now.” He responded, making her wanna cry again but she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before Angel pulled her into a side hug.

“First dance time.” He whispered in her ear, taking her hand and leading her out to the dance floor.

“How does it feel to be Y/N Reyes?” Angel asked, his eyes taking her in. She looked so magnificent in her wedding dress. He wanted to rip it off, but also he couldn’t take his eyes off how good she looked in it. If he shed some tears when she walked down that aisle, who could blame him?

“It feels like the most natural thing in the world. I’m so beyond honored to be Mrs. Angel Reyes.” She responded, her eyes filling with happy tears but she refused to let them fall. She just felt so overwhelmed with happiness. Even though he’d long gotten rid of the jacket, she loved that he actually wore a suit. He hardly ever wore one and it was a damn shame. He looked so delicious she couldn’t wait for them to get back home.

Y/N found herself really taking the moment in. Their family and friends watched them with huge smiles on their faces. She couldn’t keep her eyes off Angel for long as he held her in his arms, his hands always making her feel safe. This was her life and he was her future.

Her eyes twinkled as she asked him, “Ready for forever?”

Come close to me, baby (Yeah, love) Let your love hold you (Let me hold you tonight, babe) I know this world is crazy (It gets crazy, but I'll be right here) What's it without you? (We gon' make it, I love you, I love you, I love you)

[rinstars]

𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 — 𝐬.𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞)

pairing: suna rintarou x reader

genre/trope: angst, unrequited love, forbidden love

warnings: nsfw, profanity, infidelity, mentions of weed/drugs, intoxication

description: you knew you never meant to him as much as he meant to you.. yet deep down, you still hoped his heart also breaks with every single goodbye and the regrets of the past clings to him a lot more than he let you believe.

note: this is a repost of 'the call' where i changed and added a few things to make it fit as a prologue better, so make sure u still read it. i'll do this series at my own pace so please just be patient! i'll open the taglist so just send me an ask if you want to be tagged hehe.

The smell of leather and weed floating in the space surrounding you constricts your breathing, making you gasp for air – even more as he suctions the air out of you through your heated shared kiss, your lungs burning with the need for oxygen. But you ignore it. Running your fingers through his hair and meeting his hunger with kisses equally as rough, you ignore the building pain on your chest.

You rock your hips towards him, feeling his hard crotch rub you through the lace of the panties you bought just a few days ago. Pulling away for a moment only to gasp on his reddening plump lips while he lazily guides your movements on his lap, triggering a flood of pleasure wash over you.

Slender, pale, and long fingers reached over to snatch another blunt, taking a long drag before the very same fingers of the opposite hand takes the back of your neck so he can pull you closer to his lips. He breathes the smoke out of his mouth into yours, connecting your lips once again.

Despite the distinct scent of the drug, you taste a tinge of sweetness on your tongue as his own massages yours. Rocking your hips harder to his forces a moan out of you, making your fingers curl around his lengthy hair. You pull away, muttering a small give me a minute to him. Leaning back on the steering wheel, you watch him while you try to control your ragged breathing.

His hair is long. Long enough that it falls softly all the way to his eyes and cheeks, the ends brushing his really pale skin. With your earlier statement, he just shrugged with the same unchanging look of nonchalance in his eyes—proceeding to take drags out of his blunt. His beautifully shaped eyes now bloodshot and shiny with moisture.

He's almost like a vampire, now that you think about it. So beautiful. Such pale skin but such dark hair. Sharp gaze but soft lips. Intoxicating scent but still so sweet.

The most similar thing between him and vampires, you thought, is the way he sucks all the life out of you. Drying you out and taking all your light.

This man has corrupted you more than you're willing to admit.

You opened your mouth to say something when the blaring ring of his phone makes you jump. His eyes glanced over the source before grabbing it with a sigh and scanning the monitor. You didn't even need to ask who it is. You're very well aware who it is, and why he never hesitated to answer.

When it comes to you, it always takes a lot of rings and missed calls before he picks up, though. You understand. You tell him you do, you always will.

He doesn't pick a call up on the first ring unless it's his girl. Astumu whispered as if he heard you ponder about the caller in your head one night when you were drinking with him in a bar. Loves her a lot. Probably too much.

The alarms rang in your head that night, no matter how much you tried to ignore it. So annoying but at the same time so painful. You didn't know how to turn it off and you wish every single time you could.

"Darling," He whispered with such a loving voice, one you never heard from him when he answers your calls. Your heart ached but you knew better than to confront him about it. Instead you cry in the arms of the twinss—more on Atsumu's, since Osamu takes you through an hour long lecture of why you should have known better.

You know that much, you think.

You shouldn't have let yourself get dragged in this stupid situation, craving a taken man and his touches. Letting him in on your secrets even when he barely lets you get a peak in his.

"I miss you too, my love.. Oh?.. I'll be home soon." He speaks in pauses as he lets her finish speaking first. You close your eyes to prevent the liquid threatening to spill out, taking a deep breath before slowly lifting yourself from his lap to the passenger seat. His eyes widened a millimeter—almost as if he cares what you do, when he noticed you getting off him without having to tell you. You noticed he ended his call with her and you refuse to look back at him. If you do, you are sure of another sleepless night.

Another sleepless night of asking yourself what went wrong and if he ever regretted his decisions— maybe he, too, spend the night wide awake asking himself why he brushed off every single detail of the past like it never existed, why he acts like you're a stranger he met for the very first time when both of you coincidentally takes the seat next to each other on a bar, why he never gave you an explanation of what happened that day.

Cold fingers hook under your chin, slowly turning your head to the left. He leans over the center console, connecting his lips with the soft skin of your neck, making you exhale out at the feeling of him sucking all the reason in you again. He runs his tongue wet on your collarbones, creating a glistening trail.

"I'll see you soon?" He whispered on the crook of your neck, nibbling it a little with his teeth. The bruises he leave on your skin another reminder that everything is real.

You just hum with a nod, cupping his jaw and slowly pulling him away from you with a small smile. One of his bangs fell in the middle of his face—you reached up to brush it away.

So many unspoken words from you. Too many. You wonder if he has anything he's holding back to say too as his eyes linger on you a second longer than usual. Or maybe you're just desperately reading into the lines again, like what Osamu said way too many times.

"Rin, what.. what are we?" Every parting is like this, like a new way of saying goodbye that you both developed. You just needed to be reminded, to wake up from whatever delusions you're starting to have.

"Nothing." He replies as flatly as all the other times before. Not a hint of emotion – no amusement or remorse.

You swallow, letting your hands fall to your sides. On the verge of turning around and reaching the door, his voice echoes once again. "How many times are you gonna ask me this?"

Until you start feeling something.

You thought to yourself. Anger, disgust, love, hatred, adoration, anything. You just want him to feel something. Prove to yourself and everyone else that you're not just a tool to him.

"Sorry. Slipped out of habit." You settle for that response now. No point having a conversation with him about this.

"You don't have to leave right away, I can still drive you home."

Losing all the strength to refuse, you found yourself just agreeing with him. Why the fuck are you even so upset to begin with? You knew what you signed up for. You knew about the girl. You saw him with her in the very same bar a few nights ago. Watched how much attention he gives her, how tightly he holds her.

Of course, you knew about the girl. Your past with her woven in a way no one will be able to deny, and she knows it too, as much as Suna and the twins do. How could you forget? Everything to you was clear as day, from the very first day to the last. Rintarou knows it hurts you more this way, but he never bothers to hide it from you—how he chose her over you.

"I'll break your heart by the end of this, baby." He warns you as you feel his length slip inside you, making you moan out in ecstasy.

"I don't care." You pant, grabbing him by the hips as a way of telling him to go faster.

Looking back, maybe you shouldn't have been so foolish and say that. Now, you're paying the price. Now, your exit has been sealed.

The moment you met him, you forgot everything – your reason, pride, dignity, loyalty, sense, self-love. You hate how intoxicates you like the drugs on his backseat and yet you can't stop. You wonder if he knows how you feel about him—how you still feel about him. If he notices the way your eyes would light up when you see him or the way you would wrap your arms so tightly like you're afraid of letting him go.

The car stopped soon after and you looked out the window to find yourself in front of your house. You collected your things and fastened the clasp on your sandals then opened the door, stepping a foot outside when he once again stops you by the wrist.

"I'll call you soon. I promise."

"I'll be waiting." You wriggle out of his grip without looking back, stepping your remaining foot out to join with the other as you stand up to leave. "Take care, Rintarou."

"You too, baby." The sound of his tires grow fainter by the second as he speeds off to his and his girlfriend's shared apartment and it was so loud, you couldn't tell if there was a strain on his voice when he said that or if you just imagined it again in your head.

You didn't notice the sobs wrecking your body. Not until you feel warm droplets fall to your open palms in front of you. You clutched your phone tightly, holding it to your chest.

You can only hope the next call comes soon, interrupting the continuous flow of the songs on your phone—the very records that remind you of what you never had—or perhaps, if things went a different turn; what you could've had with him.

[normanbased]

It really does get kind of bizarre how people talk about him. I think my first real dive into him was this podcast episode about psycho 3 and it had a strange tone from what I remember. Basically the gay community shouldn’t claim him at all because he wasn’t gay in his words. Which idk maybe that’s fair! but it was weird even to my more neutral ears.

I RANTED here, putting it under a cut because I didn’t edit it and it’s looong, but thank u for sending this so I could sound off about this topic <33

It’s such a ridiculous position to hold because Tony — regardless of how badly he tried to hide it — was gay. It’s even a stretch really to call him bisexual.

Conversion therapy doesn’t actually work, and it actually baffles me how many people still think that it does and use that as an excuse to say - “oh, well, he did conversion therapy so he’s straight!!” - like… that is quite literally not how it works.

He was traumatised and tortured. He internalised his shame so deeply that he took on the persona of a straight man, to the point he got married and had kids all to play a very orchestrated part. And it didn’t work. He continued to have affairs, to ask after ex-lovers, to aggressively cruise to fulfil a part of himself that he was failing to throttle out.

That’s not to say that he didn’t love his wife or his kids, I’m very sure that he did. There isn’t anything in the literature that contradicts that. Tony was known to be a very loving father. He wasn’t faithful (even Andy Warhol knew that) but I think he loved Berry. Maybe that’s as far as you can go to suggest that he was bisexual, but Osgood Perkins Jr doesn’t seem to think that’s valid. He openly referred to his father as just being ‘gay’ in Queer for Fear.

I think to ever call him bisexual would be to imply that — in some way, the conversion therapy worked. It didn’t.

And to claim he was straight? Looking back with all the evidence to the contrary from so many close sources, his friends, his family — it just feels like revictimising him, like continuing to force him into a box that he was never going to fit into. He didn’t want to be “fenced in” to quote his favourite song — and yet people keep doing it. People keep pushing him into the same restrictive heterosexual cage that the Paramount executives did, that the press did, that Mildred Newman did as she put him through electroshock.

Maybe I’m doing the same thing now by adamantly assuring my stance that he was gay. Who knows what label Tony would have claimed aside from him? I just think it’s clear from the literature that he didn’t want to be straight because that was his true sexuality, he did it because of societal and institutional pressures, the weight of which were fucking killing him.

If the LGBTQIA+ community won’t claim him, who the fuck will? Homophobes who will try to use him as evidence that conversion therapy works? (To reiterate, it fucking didn’t) — Where else could a gay man who died of AIDS possibly belong than with us? He was one of us whether he wanted to be part of the active Pride movement or not, and when he came to the end of his life, he acknowledged that he’d never received so much love than he did from the AIDS (and in turn, the wider LGBTQIA+) community.

I think any gay person who rejects Tony from the LGBTQIA+ community fails to understand the nuances of his circumstances, or those of any person who has to remain closeted, or is forced through conversion torture, or is suffering from internalised homophobia.

It’s not just black and white. His entire life was grey and muddy and full of uncertainty, self-doubt, guilt — I mean for fucks sake, he thought he murdered his father with prayer when he was five. He thought God was going to kill him for it. Who knows what sort of fear he was feeling as an adolescent, growing up and realising he wasn’t interested in women? How can any gay person be blamed for their own fear, resultant from a society that hates them? People act like Tony chose this for himself because he hated gay people or because he thought being straight was morally superior.

I think it’s as simple as he was afraid of being rejected by society. How can he be antagonised for that?

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[morporkian-cryptid]

Lupin III - The Castle of Cagliostro, and its extremely gay and romantic title scene

Hello everyone, this is your new installment of “Elliott rambles about her fandoms”!

Today I am going to be talking (well, mostly yelling) about the opening credits of Lupin III - The Castle of Cagliostro.

Because I’ve rewatched that movie almost two weeks ago, and I’m still going into a fit of hysterics every time I so much as think about it.

[Image description: Lupin and Jigen sitting in front of the Fiat, with a small nomad cooking space set up. It is night, Lupin is reading a map and Jigen is holding a pan above a small gas stove. The lighting is dim and comes only for the stove. The subtitles of the song lyrics read “My love for you burns”]

https://twitter.com/spacequeenemily/status/1118274079662977025?lang=en

This Twitter link is the only video of the title scene I could find online; the image quality is a bit low but at least it’s the full scene. Please watch it, I promise you won’t regret it.

Fair warning: long post with much capslock, very swearing.

Okay, so.

The lyrics of this song, Fire Treasure, go more or less like this (from the subtitles of the movie, which I assume are the official translation) :

I want to go with you, searching for happiness / No matter how hard the road or how the night may grow cold / I just want to wander on with you

Who else is there to comfort and hold / This lonely traveler when their heart grows cold? / Who else but you can make all my dreams come true?

Like a raging fire my love for you burns / All I want is for you to know how I feel / Make me your prisoner and never let go

(additional lyrics which are on the wiki but not in the title sequence)

You, who wander the wasteland  / I want to let you sleep / The shooting star is for you

I want only you to understand / This love of mine that blazes with flames / I'll clear away the enigmatic mist

You can find the official japanese lyrics here on the Lupin III fandom wiki.

Now this is a pretty basic love song, and we know most of the theme songs in this series are love songs and it doesn’t always mean anything (looking at you, Red Jacket opening theme). The music itself (without the lyrics) is used several times during the movie, especially in scenes with Lupin and Clarisse; and reused later in several movies involving similar dynamics.

But the only time the whole song, with lyrics, plays in The Castle of Cagliostro, it’s during the opening credits / title sequence. Aka, Lupin and Jigen’s road trip.

Yeah. This longing, yearning love song about a lonely traveler and the person who silently loves them and wants to follow them through all the troubles of the road and look for happiness by their side... Is played along with of a video of Jigen and Lupin traveling together.

And oh, if only it was just that...

It could have been two guys being bros, two friends having a fun road trip together. They could have shown the banter and playful fights between them that we see in the rest of the movie. But NO. THIS is what they gave us instead:

[The silhouettes of Jigen and Lupin sitting on and leaning against the Fiat, with a boat in the background and an orange sunset-like sky]

[the Fiat driving on a narrow bridge in the middle of an expanse of water glistening and reflecting the pink and purple sky]

[Lupin lying on his back in the grass, and Jigen sitting near him and cooking in front of a small portable gas stove, the Fiat parked next to them. It is night, and the gaz stove gives a soft glow, the only source of light in the picture.]

[Lupin sitting on the roof of the Fiat and Jigen standing left of it. They are waiting for a train with wooden wagons to pass. There are white flowers in the foreground on the right of the screen.]

[Night time, on a backdrop of dark blue sky with white stars. Lupin is sitting on the roof of the Fiat, lighting a cigarette (the Fiat itself isn’t in the frame). Jigen is standing near him, smoking a cigarette, with only his head visible. The subtitles of the song lyrics write “Make me your prisoner and never let go”.]

[The same scene from a different angle, the Fiat is now visible, with grass in the foreground, Lupin is seen from the back and Jigen from head to feet. The dark blue sky is fading into white at the bottom, suggesting sunrise.]

They could have given us a fun, “straight pals being bros” road trip. Instead, they decided to give us a soft, nostalgic ambiance, with orange and pink sunsets, the boys wistfully looking into the distance under a starry night sky, smoking cigarettes together in silence, with the soft glow of a shared meal around a campfire. THEY MADE THE CHOICE TO MAKE THIS AS FUCKING ROMANTIC AS POSSIBLE. THEY WILLINGLY MADE THAT DECISION.

We all know that this franchise’s subtext is not exactly subtle in establishing, to name just one obvious example, Jigen’s orientation (hum hum kabuki-related slang, hum hum bootleg playboy magazine, hum hum shameless flirting with burly soldiers).

But THIS. This isn’t a “I hate women” joke. This isn’t a two-second frame showing a bootleg gay pinup magazine. This isn’t a subtle parallel between Lupin’s relationships with Fujiko and with Jigen. This is the most OBVIOUS and EXPLICIT bit of subtext I have ever seen in this goddamn subtext-packed series. This is A FUCKING LOVE SONG, WITH THE WORDS “MY LOVE FOR YOU BURNS” EXPLICITLY IN IT, PLAYED ON A VIDEO OF JIGEN AND LUPIN ON A ROAD TRIP WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC AND SOFT VISUALS POSSIBLE. ONE MINUTE AND FIFTY FIVE SECONDS OF TYPICAL ROMANTIC SCENE WITH TYPICAL ROMANTIC VISUALS AND A FUCKING LOVE SONG.

This can’t be an accident. You can’t accidentally make a scene like this. I mean come on, “Like a raging fire my love for you burns, I just want you to know how I feel” with a panning shot of a starry night sky and Lupin and Jigen silently sharing a smoke? HOW DO THEY THINK WE ARE GOING TO INTERPRET THIS? IS THERE ANY OTHER POSSIBLE FUCKING INTERPRETATION THAN “JIGEN IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH LUPIN?“ NO THERE ISN’T. THERE FUCKING ISN’T.

They go and try to tell us that Lupin and Jigen are just friends, they give Jigen barely believable female love interests whom he has little to no chemistry with, they write Jigen getting angry when he thinks Lupin might be gay, and then they turn around and make THIS. FUCKING. TITLE SEQUENCE.

It kills me because IT’S CANON but also it’s not! They’re not stating that Jigen loves Lupin, they’re not confirming that they’re a couple, at no point in the 50 years of existence of this damn franchise has either of them explicitly declared that they were in love with the other, and that is most likely never going to happen. But this fucking scene exists. This fucking scene is CANON, and it’s technically still subtext, but it is the most OBVIOUS and IN YOUR GODDAMN FACE subtext EVER.

Disclaimer: I agree that most of the anime and movies’ (still relatively un-subtle) subtext can be disregarded or interpreted as platonic if you want, and I absolutely respect anyone’s desire to interpret them as platonic friends. All visions and interpretations can coexist. That being said, I’m sorry but for this specific scene I will not, ever, budge from the position that it is a fucking romantic love scene and that there is no other possible interpretation, I’m sorry but just FUCKING LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT AND TELL ME THIS ISN’T MEANT TO BE ROMANTIC. I DARE YOU.

This scene is just at the VERY LIMIT of explicitly stating Jigen and Lupin’s love. But it’s STILL NOT EXPLICIT. The song says “I love you” but neither Jigen nor Lupin does. The song on its own could relate to any number of characters (and in the rest of the movie it relates mostly to Clarisse, and more generally to all the girls Lupin leaves behind). The video without the music, while being very sweet and having a romantic vibe, could still be interpreted as a road trip between friends. And yet. AND YET. They made the conscious decision to put THAT SONG with THESE IMAGES. And to then “leave it to our interpretation”.

The Castle of Cagliostro was the second movie of the Lupin III franchise. It came out in 1979, not even ten years after the first episode of the anime aired. This is one of the establishing movies of the franchise, the one that propelled Lupin III on the international scene, the door through which generations of fans have been introduced to the series. A now iconic and unmissable pillar of the pop culture myth that Lupin III has become, a jewel of hand-drawn animation, produced by one of Japan’s most internationally well known animated movie director, future founder of one of its most iconic studios.

This isn’t a “blink and you’ll miss it” nudge in an largely forgettable TV special with weird chara designs and a plot created by writers seemingly on crack. This isn’t a subtle nod to long time fans and shippers like Part 5 did in 2018. This is the FUCKING TITLE SEQUENCE of the CASTLE OF MOTHERFUCKING CAGLIOSTRO by HAYAO GODDAMN MIYAZAKI. AND IT’S A LOVE STORY.

It’s been a week and a half, guys. And I still want to scream. I will never be free. Lupin and Jigen are in love and the world needs to know.