#i hate having menstrual migraines so much

[lesbiandeancas]

started having intense migraine auras which usually they're pretty mild

looked at the calendar and figured out that my last period was a month and 2 days ago exactly

shit

[misscinnamonroll16]

I would very much like those gender bent headcannons for brozone if they're still on the table...

They're absolutely still on the table. First off, names. John Dory is Jena Dory I like it better than the regular Jane Doe. Spruce is a lil harder bc of the name change but I feel like Stella would be a good choice bc it can change to Bella. I like Claudia for Clay. Flora is a soft sweet name for the sensitive one, Floyd. Branch I feel like would be named Bambi with those big ol eyes. Now onto the actual headcanons, these are mostly just period stuff.

JD was super embarrassed about her body changing, not sure how to explain it to her little sisters

Stella scared the crap out of Claudia when she got her period once. She didn't realize she got it and bleed through her underwear. She asked Claudia to get her a new pair and to get JD. Claudia peeks into the bathroom to see her blood soaked panties and immediately thinks she is dying and freaks out. Claudia goes running to Jena crying about how Stella is dying. Jena Dory is confused and goes to see what's wrong, seeing that she just bleed through her underwear. JD has to explain periods to Claudia so she doesn't think Stella is dying (this actually happened to me 😂)

Jena definitely hated going bra shopping, whether it was for her or her sisters. She just felt embarrassed by it.

Claudia got training bras for her birthday once. She pulled them out of the bag, excitedly showing them off. It would have been kind of cute if they weren't having the party in a restaurant

Flora becomes a mega bitch when on her period. She's super cranky and hates everything

Jena (just like John) holds in all her emotions, especially when on her period. She gets killer cramps tho

The sisters just think Jena is just sick when she cancels rehearsals bc she's cramping but she doesn't tell them that.

Claudia makes herself cry constantly when reading her sad books, it gets worse when she's on her period

Bambi thought she was dying when she got her first period

Stella gets bad acne the days before her period

Jena Dory had to explain periods and puberty to her sisters, she tried to make it a wonderful experience becoming a woman but periods suck

Flora didn't realize she got her first period and bleed through her skirt. She was so embarrassed she cried

Claudia tracks her period so she's never surprised

Bella uses tampons and pads after having kids

Jena uses a menstrual cup

Claudia uses tampons

Flora uses pads

Claudia craves sweets premenstrual and during

Bella doesn't eat much when she's on her period bc she's often super nauseous

Jena Dory gets migraines (poor girl can't catch a break 😔)

Flora wears the heaviest makeup, only bc it's so dark

Claudia and Jena Dory love bubble baths

Jena Dory is a c-cup, Bella was a c-cup but became a d-cup after having kids, Claudia is a b-cup, Flora is an a-cup, and Bambi is a b-cup

Jena, Claudia, and Bambi can't walk in heels

Claudia has bad back pain when on her period

[lilislegacy]

Oop-

I hate when tumblr messes shit up, but Hey, it's me again.

Like in my original aks, I want to reiterate that I'm not trying to come for everybody. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. This is just my 2 cents on the whole demigods and menstruation thing

My original ask was kind of convoluted, so I'll just sum it up here.

I like the idea of what demigods being different but I don't like the idea of administration just being completely gone.

I am currently reading jealous of the god, and that is something that Percy directly says is how you get the worst of both worlds.

I love the idea of demigods being more powerful and more protective when they are pregnant or whether their partner is. But imagine not knowing you're a demigod and never getting your period, then thinking "oh I can never get pregnant!" and then get pregnant. That sounds terrifying.

I do like the idea of certain demigods from certain gods having a different sort of thing. Kind of like with Athena, I saw one post about annabeth getting a migraine and shit which is hilarious.

I just feel like having no menstrual cycle. It all seems a little too easy. It's very reminiscent of Alexandria's Genesis if you were around on Tumblr about 10 years ago to remember that. (If not then izzzyzzz has an amazing video on YouTube all about this fake disorder and hoax)

In my original ask I pointed out how It would be an interesting point of view especially for trans demigods.

I am a transperson. I have a lot of dysphoria around that sort of thing. I am currently in pain because of it. So I've been thinking about it a lot.

(Also, this is a completely different headcannon, but I definitely headcannon Leo as a trans man)

Thinking more about it would be interesting to see people lose control of their powers because of how in pain they are I know. I get very upset very quickly like imagine how terrible that would be. (Like Thalia accidentally zapping someone or something)

I'm also a sucker for those hurt/comfort fics surrounding periods and such. Idk why I just like comforting fics lol

I do like the idea that the hunters of Artemis once they become a hunter would not get a period because fuck that.

Also among other things, Artemis is the goddess of childbirth and I feel like she can do that for her hunters.

I did add a little bit more from my original ask because I've just been thinking about it more.

Again, not coming for anyone I really love that everyone has their own opinions and fantastic ideas. It just makes me so happy as an artist!

Thank you! (Sorry tumblr deleted the original one lol)

thank you for the ask! and thank you even more for sending it twice lol!!

now, onto my thoughts. i totally see where you’re coming from. because you are right, part of being a demigod is having to deal with the crappy parts of both worlds. and as much as i would love for female-born demigods to not have to deal with periods, i can totally see them still having one.

so maybe it just works differently? maybe their cycles are longer and they only have a few periods a year? or maybe they are just way lighter? idk. but i still feel like they would work differently than regular humans

i definitely see where you’re coming from on the account of trans-demigods having to deal with it. there would definitely be an added emotional struggle with it along with the physical, and there’s a lot to explore there!

i love the idea of the children of different gods having different symptoms. like you mentioned athena’s kids having more headaches and migraines lol. and maybe ares kids get huge angry mood swings, and maybe aphrodite’s kids get really lovesick and cry every 3 seconds over couples doing cute things lol.

100% with you on the hunters not having one. no boyfriends = no sex = no babies = no period needed. they ain’t got time for that! they’ve got hot girl shit to do. like shooting people with arrows.

i also like the thought of demigods’ powers being heightened when they’re on their period lol. that’s hilarious. imagine a child of demeter having cramps and craving chocolate, and a cocao tree just spurts out of the ground LOL.

thank you for being so nice and wonderful towards people having different headcanons! and whether someone thinks demigods menstruate or not, it sounds like we can all agree that it’s at least different for them than it is for humans.

thank you for your thoughts! they were all super interesting!

[princessconsuela120]

Chapter Two: Tire Swing —✧

Series masterlist

Chapter Warnings: Cursing, mentions of abortion, mentions of sex

Author's Note: New updates coming soon! This one's sort of short but kit just fit that way. Also, if you notice each chapter is named after a song from the movie, if you wanna listen during reading...enjoy!

—✧

SCHOOL WAS THE LAST PLACE I WANTED TO BE RIGHT NOW. Surrounded by people who I hated, who hated me. No one knew besides Kenny and Kyle, but somehow it felt like everyone was staring at me. Like everyone did actually know. I hated it. As if the perfect way to pull me out of my hatred, a was roughly knocked into by one of my fellow peers, watching as he let my book tumble to the ground, and break. Fantastic.

“Your book fell apart.” He teased, laughing as he and his friends walked away. I nodded, bending down to pick up my book, glaring at his chuckling face.“It must have looked at your face.” He said again, making his friends laugh even harder.

The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me. Jocks like him always want freaky girls. Girls with horn-rimmed glasses and vegan footwear and goth makeup. Girls who, like, play the cello and read McSweeney's…And wanna be children's librarians when they grow up. Oh, yeah, jocks totally eat that shit up. They won't admit it because they're supposed to be into cheerleaders. Like Wendy, who incidentally is into emo losers like my brother.

“All right, people. We're doing a chromatography lab today. So find your partners and break into groups of four.” Our science teacher announced, making me smile over at Kyle as he smiled nervously back. I couldn't tell if the nervous smile was due to my visit the other day or if it was just his normal awkward teenage boy smile, but he seemed a tad more nervous than usual. We moved to get with our lab groups, me and Kyle standing beside each other opposite Clyde and Bebe, our usual lab partners.

Beside my boys, I had always been rather close with the girls as well. Bebe included, which was what drew us to group together in the lab. I loved Bebe, and I loved Clyde just as much, but it was easy to say work was rather difficult to complete with the two lovebirds. And bless his poor little soul, but I have absolutely no idea how Clyde managed to get into this class in the first place. I'm almost positive he cheated on Kyle's placement test.

“Well, there's nothing like experimenting.” I said, extra cheerily making Kyle chuckle nervously, before handing me his notebook.

“I did the prep questions for this lab, so you can copy my answers…” He said, making me pout at him.

“Oh, I couldn't copy your work.” I said, smiling at him as he turned to me with furrowed eyebrows.

“You copy my work every week.”

“True.” I sighed, taking his notebook. “I'm kind of a deadbeat lab partner.” He pouted back at me, reciprocating the look I gave him earlier.

“I think you definitely bring something to the table.” He reassured me, picking up the small round paper for us to begin our lab.

“Charisma.” I said, both Kyle and I nodding with agreement, before I turned to the other two, clapping my hands with even more fake cheer than before. “So who's ready for some chromomagnificence?” I asked, and Bebe sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and looking down at the ground.

“I have a menstrual migraine, so I can't look at bright lights.” Bebe said, rubbing her temples lightly. Clyde sighed, looking up at the ceiling with evident annoyance.

“Bebe, I told you to go to the infirmary and lie down. You never listen to me.” Clyde whined, making Bebe scoff, rage suddenly forming in her face as she turned to Clyde.

“No, Clyde, because I don't take orders. Not from you and not from any man.” Bebe hissed, glaring at Clyde, cousin the boy to shrink down slightly, looking at the other side of the room to avoid her eyes. Like I said, work was very difficult.

“You've been acting like this since I got back from my cousin's in Boulder. I told you, nothing happened.” Clyde groaned, and Kyle looked between the two nervously, before looking back at me.

“I'm gonna set up the apparatus. Juno, do you wanna plug in the Bunsen burner?” Kyle said, carefully placing my safety goggles on my face, leaving a red tint where his fingers gently brushed my skin. He didn't think anything of it, I'm sure he didn't…but I did.

“My pleasure.” I smiled, snapping myself out of my gaze, about the turn on the bunsen burner before Bebe spoke up again.

“I'm going to the infirmary.” She slowly stood, smiling softly at me about to walk away.

“Call when you get off the rag.” Clyde grumbled, making Bebe snap and turn to him angrily. I turned the bunsen burner on, and it was as if the fire on our table raged inside Bebe as well.

“Fine!” She shouted, her blonde curls whipping around to her back. “Call when you learn to love instead of cheating at your cousin's, and cry about it...Because you had four Smirnoff Ices and Snow Peak Peach Boones!” She quickly walked away before Clyde could anger her further, as both Kyle and I looked at Clyde awkwardly.

“I've actually heard that the Snow Peak Peach flavor...Is the best flavor of Boone's. Isn't that right, Ky?” I said softly, elbowing Kyle to catch his attention and save me from the awkwardness I ultimately walked right into. Kyle just looked at Clyde and nodded, before we all gulped silently in the awkward silence, finishing our science lab.

—✧

“Hey, yeah, I'm just calling to procure a hasty abortion.” I said into my phone, laying upside down on my bed as I struggled to hear the women on the other line. This phone call, maybe one of the most important phone calls of my life, ironically was being done over a Hamburger phone. Don't get me wrong, I loved my hamburger phone, but this is life or death we're talking about, and I mean literally death. Besides, you could barely hear anything through this phone without a proper throw against the wall first.

“What?” I shouted, the women taken-a-back, unaware of the brutality of my Burger phone.

“Can you just hold on for a second? I'm on my hamburger phone.” I chucked it against the wall, then shook vigorously, not caring about the dirty look and judgements I was most likely receiving. I was getting an abortion, this woman already knew more about me then most people.

“Okay, yeah, now I can...Yeah, it's just, like, really awkward to talk on.” I chuckled lightly, before stopping when I realized she didn't find it funny. “Yeah, yeah, I need an abortion.” God this was hell.

“I'm 16.”

There was a momentary pause on the other end, like the lady was shocked. I'm sure she got this call 10 times a day from people just as young as me, which made it even stranger that she paused. Why would she pause?

“I'm gonna say it's been about two months and four days since the sex. Mind you, that's just, like, a guesstimation. I'm sorry, how long have I been what?”

I hate it when adults use the term "sexually active." What does it even mean? Can I deactivate someday, or is this some sort of permanent state of being? Is it like a super power I gain or is it just another boring disadvantage in life, like getting your period of hitting puberty. I guess Kyle went live that night and that's why he got that look on his face.

—✧

“You should have seen this octopus furnace at work. I had to get on my HAZMAT suit just to get into the thing.” My dad explained, the family sitting together for dinner, not entirely listening to what my dad was saying. I knew it had to be some sort of bull crap because what the hell is my dad, the geologist, doing with an octopus and a hazmat suit?

My dad used to own a weed business. Though my whole family had their flaws, my dad was a special egg. Not as much the black sheep of the family, more so the multicolored glow in the dark sheep who performs at the strip club on weekends. Not that he does perform at a strip club, though that wouldn't be the craziest thing he's done. After we nearly lost our minds during the pandemic, and I nearly lost my life due to my father’s weed business (story is later to come), I think something must have clicked in his head that he could miss this. This domestic life he always yearned for when he was growing up. I don't think he ever really knew it was there til it was almost gone.

Moving back to our old home made for many more family dinner’s. Forcing me and stan to the dinner table all year long, and earning the occasional call from my older sister Shelley. She checked in quite often to make sure I was still alive having dealt with Dad and Stan, though I was always okay. Now we live the most normal family life we can, and my dad got his job back as a Geologist, and even still writes for songs under his LORDE alias, though Stan and I like to pretend that part isn't true.

It was really good for my mom though, to have her family back the way it should be. Sharon Marsh was the best mother a kid could ask for, and never failed to keep dad in line when needed. My dad going clean did good on fixing their marriage as well, bringing back a lot of care and love they didn't even realize was still there. She still work’s at the reception desk at Tom’ Rhinoplasty, business booming a much as ever these days…figures.

“So, Juno, how was your little maneuver the other night?” My mom asked, smiling over at me kindly. I puffed up slightly with pride, wiggling my eyebrows at her.

“The one where I moved an entire living-room set from one lawn to the other… Or the one where I downed a 64-ounce blue slushie in 10 minutes?” I said, shoving some more food down my face as my dad looked at me confused.

“Juno, did you by any chance barf in my urn? You know that nice urn by the door? The one I got up in Denver? There was some blue shit…” my dad looked over at my mom’s testing look, before clearing his throat and correcting himself. “I mean gunk... stuff in there this morning.” My dad rambled, referring to the urn that no one knew nor cared about. It was an ugly piece of crap that my dad claimed was ‘a cultural must have’ and that we would be wrong not to show it off. It was stupid, and ugly, and yes I did barf up almost all 64 ounces of that slushie in it.

“I would never barf in your urn, Dad.” I said, holding my chest with fake hurt, earning a smile from my dad. I had that poor man wrapped around my little finger for as long as I could remember. “I mean, maybe Stan did it.” I said, shrugging in Stan’s direction. My older counterpart glared up at me.

“Bite me sewer rat.” He said, making me look at him with fake hurt, neither of us being able to hold back the slight laughter that evaded our faces.

“Stanley! Don’t talk to your sister like that.” My mom said, making Stan scoff and roll his eyes. I nodded with agreement.

“Yeah Stanley, be nice.” I teased back, flinging a few peas at my brother, causing his to look up at me with a smirk, about to fling some right back at me.

—✧

I left early the next morning for Women now. I was scared, really, really scared. I had written paperwork printed out in my bedroom, that I had made 4 copies of after having messed up 3 times. The crumbled papers laid on my bed, while the other was folded neatly in my bag. I just wanted this to be done. I wanted to do it and I wanted it to be done and dealt with. But God, I was such a fucking idiot.

“Juno?” My brother called, knocking on my door to call me to come hang out with him and the guys. “Hey, June the guys are coming over, make sure you have some damn pants on this time for the..” he paused when he opened the door, noticing my absence in the room. He furrowed his eyebrows, knowing it was a Friday and we had off from school today, I should’ve been here.

He walked deeper into my room, softly calling my name again in case I was hiding in my closet or something, and that’s when he noticed the papers. He rolled his eyes at my mess, about to pick them up and throw them out before a certain word caught his eye.

“Abortion? Why the fuck…” he mumbled, unscrambling the paper as he read it. His hands seemed to go limp, and his heart beat increased. His throat went dry, and he stared at the paper with a colorless face.

‘Women Now Abortion Clinic’

His eyes scanned down further to the bottom.

‘By my signature I agree to and have read all of the conditions that come with the women now abortion procedure… Juno Sloane Marsh”

[artemisiafem]

the whole TIM period thing pisses me off so much as a woman who experiences extremely painful periods (i am trying to get checked for endometriosis but this is predictably a struggle, i have ALL of the symptoms though so there's something going on even if that's not it). like first of all you just can't have a period full stop. a period is the shedding of your uterine lining as part of your menstrual cycle. if they could experience anything it would be pms (but of course they never bother to use that term). we don't know that much about pms (even though 90% of women suffer from it erectile dysfunction - which impacts 19% of men - has 5x as much research into it) but we do know that it's caused by fluctuating hormone levels. i find it difficult to believe that TIMs experience these fluctuating hormone levels because they just don't have the anatomy to cause those fluctuating hormone levels. they don't have ovaries. they're taking a consistent dose of hormones. if they're getting the shits it's because of their shitty diets or a placebo effect. (side note: my understanding is that women who have had complete hysterectomies may still experience symptoms like those of PMS and i've seen TIMs use this as evidence that they too can have PMS. which really frustrates me again considering the lack of research into women's reproductive systems. besides i'd imagine it's more likely caused by something akin to phantom limb syndrome, complications from doctors who really don't know what they're doing, or the fact that, you know, women who no longer have uteruses are still biologically female and thus have a better chance of having that sort of hormonal cycle than men do.)

i guess my point is there's already so much misinformation about periods and women's bodies, and they're chronically understudied, and it stresses me out that women might be misled about certain symptoms. and on a personal level, as someone who has frankly experienced a lot of difficulties because of my period (missing extended periods of work, school, and social engagements, experiencing shame, being unable to go out due to not being able to afford products, hormonal migraines, extreme pain, potential PMDD), i hate seeing males appropriate it SO much. you will never understand what it's like.

[phosphorus-12]

Absolutely none of that made sense, so lets get to it:

We tell you so you don't think we hate you all of a sudden. We get pissed both because of hormone and emotional changes and because of the pain we are in.

Speaking of this pain, women experience cramps more painful than heart attacks. Many women, including myself, experience, muscle and joint pain, back pain, headaches and migraines.

My entire job is not to be "aesthetically pleasing and add femininity." My job is to breathe, eat, hydrate, and sleep. My job is to stay alive. Everything else I do, like go to school, is so that I can continue to live, as our society has made it so education and a paying job are required to be alive. I am a human being who evolved from something whose only concern was eating, drinking, and not dying. I am not an inanimate object just meant to decorate your damn house.

I am not meant to be sexy. Women can start menstruating as early as 8-12. That would mean you are telling children that they are failing at being sexy because they menstruate. Adult men are not supposed to find children who happen to have a vagina sexy. Not to mention the fact that no woman is 'meant' to constantly be sexy, just like men aren't.

The idea that whether your ancestors were hunters or gatherers determines whether you are AFAB or AMAB is absolutely ridiculous. That is not why you get the sex you were assigned at birth. A person's sex is determined by which chromosome, X or Y, the father's sperm has. The egg contributes an X chromosome. Generally, if the sperm has an X chromosome, the egg has an XX chromosome and is a girl. If it has a Y chromosome, it becomes XY, which makes a boy.(1) However, let's give this logic a chance. Say it is true(it is not). If your sex was determined by if your maternal ancestors were hunters or gatherers? A woman would have to have gatherer ancestors, correct? If it is entirely dependent on the mother, how would any woman have a boy child?

Women aren't all just naturally vegetarian or vegan, as you seem to imply in that last paragraph. All humans, regardless of sex, have evolved to be naturally omnivorous, but some choose to not eat meat or animal products.

I am not bleeding through my digestive system. The reproductive system and the digestive system are completely separate. Thus, my vagina is not an animal graveyard. That would be my digestive tract if meat was all I ate. I, in fact, ingest the four basic food groups, as is optimal for my health. This means that my blood is not toxic because of my food choices, especially the blood that I bleed during my period.

The blood in my veins and period blood is not exactly the same. According to The National Library of Medicine, "Menstrual blood is composed of three distinct body fluids: blood, vaginal fluid, and the cells and fluid of the late secretory phase of the uterine endometrial lining which is shed during menstruation."(2)

This brings me to my next point: periods are not my body ridding itself of 'toxic blood'. My period is because of the unused lining of my uterus that was made in case I got pregnant. It was made for the fertilized egg to implant to begin the process of pregnancy. After you don't get pregnant, the lining sheds and comes out in the form of a liquid. This liquid is partially made up of and looks like blood. The egg made that month is also discarded with it. Then, when your body is finished, it makes a new egg, starting the process over.(3)

Tampons and menstrual cups are not phallic. They give us no pleasure, and many women feel much more comfortable using pads.

Before you go around telling women that they are disgusting for not doing their "entire job" of being sexy and aesthetically pleasing by having periods, actually learn about what a period is. The lesson here is: do your research, don't 'debate' things you have no clue about, and don't treat women as fucking objects that you find disgusting for having bodily functions.

Citations:

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/week2.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3494145

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/menstrual-cycle

[shubaka]

TMI but uuuugh i hate menstrual headaches (is this technically a migraine???) so much. i've noticed that i've been getting them more lately, but my actual cramps during my period have gotten a lot better? like it's been at least half a year (i'm guessing) since it's been in or near the "debilitating" range of pain ... i don't know which is better or worse though hahaha.

but also, like, yes, please come and go so i don't have to deal with my period (or at least the worst of it) while i'm in thailand. we're cutting it close lmao 🙏🙏🙏

[stanknotstark]

A Little Pain (And A Lil Glory)

i have to thank @high-functioning-lokipath​ for helping me with all my questions about migraines. Thank you SO much, you’re amazing 💜 Anyways! I made the reader go through all four stages of migraines (prodrome, aura, attack, and post-drome!)

Summary: REQUEST. Loki helps with your migraine.

PRODROME

You open the fridge and lightly hum as you search through the contents. Loki walks in and sees you which in turn makes him change his decision to make coffee and to instead come up to your back and hug you from behind. He rests his chin on your shoulder. 

“What is my beloved searching for?” He asks, his lips finding your neck and leaving pecks there. You sigh and tilt your head so he may continue kissing with easier access. He notices the movement is strained, as if your neck is a bit stiff.

“I’m kind of craving moon berries.” 

Loki heeds no thought to the craving and pulls from you. “Moon berries? I don’t think Thor brought many back the last time he made a trip to Asgard.” Loki finishes the sentence with a small hum. He gently moves you aside and waves his hand in front of the refrigerator. You gasp when a secret shelf appears from nowhere. 

Loki chuckles at your excitement as he opens the newly appeared drawer. “I do not share everything we bring back and if you dare tell a soul-”

You hop on your toes with excitement coursing through your body and smile at Loki. “You’ll kill me, I know!” 

Loki sputters but laughs. “No, I was going to say I will punish you. I could never kill you, my love.” 

You let out a small, embarrassed oh but gasp and hop up to kiss Loki when he pulls two moon berries from the drawer and gives them to you. 

AURA

Next, Loki becomes suspicious when you’re talking to him but keep glancing away to a specific spot in the room just over his shoulder. 

“Darling?” He questions when you glance away once more. Your eyes are quick to snap back to him at his question. 

“Sorry, I keep seeing something flashing over there, Tony must have left a tablet where the sun could shine on it or something.” You wave off Loki’s concern. 

When you’re both done talking and you have returned to your floor Loki still sits there. He gets up and makes his way to the area you had been looking at. Nothing is there but a bare ottoman. Loki realizes what is occurring because he had read up on migraines so he could better attend to yours that had grown from rare to often occurring. 

Loki wants to wave this off with doubt just because he really hopes you don’t have an oncoming migraine. He hates when you’re in pain. 

Loki can’t deny the evidence anymore because the next day you claim you must have slept on your arm wrong, it has pins and needles all day. 

ATTACK

You groan and shift further under the blankets of your bed when the lights switch on. 

“Darling, it’s two in the afternoon, you need to get up and at least eat something.” Loki chides softly as he walks through your room and comes to rest on the edge of your bed. 

When Loki slowly lifts the covers to see you, you look at him with squinty eyes, your hand coming up to shield them and practically hiss.

“Migraine.” Is all you supply Loki. Loki nods with understanding and climbs under the covers with you. When he drops the covers you both look at each other in the dark lighting. 

You wince at a particular throb on the right side of your head. It feels as though someone has hit you over the head with a rock. The pain starts from the base of your skull and climbs up towards your eye. Loki brings his hands up, between the both of you, and rests his fingers on each of your temples. You close your eyes and he begins kneading with moderate pressure. You sigh and melt into his calloused hands. 

“Have you taken medicine yet?” Loki whispers into the enclosed space. You whisper out a no to which Loki responds with a disappointed sound. 

You nearly whimper when Loki pulls his fingers from your temple. You can’t stop the way your body leans forward into his receding hands. Loki hushes at you then he’s waving his hands in the enclosed space, the blankets wavering with the movement, and a bottle of menstrual medicine appears.  

You let out a strained smile. “Do you keep menstrual medicine on you at all times?” 

“Perhaps,” Loki opens the bottle with ease and tilts the bottle. Two pills fall into his hand and he hands them to you. All these movements come off as awkward considering you’re under the covers. “You have been having more migraines recently, and I read these really help migraines...do you need water?” Loki asks you with a small frown on his face. 

“No.” You grab the pills and swallow them with practiced movements. 

“Well, I pride myself in being prepared for everything.” Loki continues as he watches you settle back down. He quickly magics the bottle away and looks at you again from his side.

“Always ten steps ahead…” You mutter as you close your eyes again. 

“Precisely.” Loki replies satisfied as he brings his fingers to your temple and begins massaging again. This time his fingers stray from your temples and knead through your hair. 

“Which side is it?” He asks softly. 

“Right.”

Loki moves his hands, one supporting the left side of your head and the other kneading into the right side. It feels amazing, so much so that you let out a relieved groan. “Thanks.” You murmur. 

Loki lets his hands work on you for a minute before he is pulling away again. “I apologize. I feel like I might actually suffocate in this heat.” Loki chuckles out. He waves his hand and you see your room’s lights flash off. Loki yanks the covers from over your heads and takes in a deep breath. “Norns.” He huffs out causing you to lightly laugh but it’s cut off when you wince and bring your hands up to hold your head.

Loki is quick to turn back to you and rests his hands over yours on your head. His face is etched with concern and bewilderment. “I will never understand why you will not just let me use magic to remedy your migraines.” 

“That’s cheating.” You spout out petulantly. You open your eyes in time to see Loki rolling his. You giggle. “I need to learn to deal with them because what if I become dependent on your magic and then one day you’re not there?” 

Loki gives a slight raise of his eyebrows, as if silently admitting you might be right. “Have you ever considered that I’ll always be there for you?” 

You can feel a dopey smile split across your lips. “Don’t make promises like that Loki.”

Loki frowns. “Like what?”

“Promises you can’t possibly keep.” You explain. 

Loki lets out a huff of breath that sounds close to a sigh then looks at you with endearment. “Darling, I promise to always be there for you.”

You look at Loki with wide, doe eyes. “For all time?”

Loki smiles. “Always.” 

You lay there with Loki for some time, time you don’t keep track of. The medicine you took earlier is not helping a lot or at least isn’t working as well probably because you don’t have food in your stomach. The nausea you felt earlier is growing stronger. Your legs begin shaking and your mouth begins producing more spit than necessary. You sit up with a swallow. Loki is quick to sit up with you, his hand fanning across your lower back. Before he can ask what’s going on you’re hopping out of the bed and rushing to the bathroom. 

Loki hears the retching begin and sighs. He had really hoped it wouldn’t get bad enough to make you physically ill. He untangles himself from the bedding and enters the bathroom. You’re quick to throw a hand up and shake your head. A bad decision because you gasp and grab your head. 

“Don’t look at me.” You plead. 

Loki considers leaving you be but it’s not even a choice. He comes behind you and kneels. He grabs your hair and holds it back so you don’t get sick in it. 

“I feel as if we are past the point of being disgusted by each other considering we’ve ingested each other's bodily fluids before.” 

Loki smiles a little when you let out a shocked laugh. “You make giving you head sound so clinical-” You gag as you speak and hurl into the toilet. 

Loki brings his free hand up to rub across your back as you heave. 

“You will have to take more medicine considering you most likely just vomited it all up.” Loki mutters as an afterthought.

When you tell Loki you’re fine and not going to get sick anymore he helps you stand, slowly, and hands you your toothbrush with toothpaste already on it. 

As you brush your teeth he moves through the bathroom. He grabs a hand towel and wets it, wringing it out so it isn’t dripping, merely damp. 

You both move back to the bed. He hands you two more pills that you swallow quickly, then you lay down. Before he lays down with you he uses a blue hand to make the damp towel cold. He lays it across your forehead and smiles when you let out a grateful moan. 

Your eyes are closed so when your hand reaches out for him it reaches aimlessly. He is quick to grab your hand and kiss it then he lays down next to you. 

“You need to eat something.” Loki speaks into the silent room as he stares up at the ceiling in thought about what you need and how to take care of you.

“I just threw up everything though.” You whisper with whining resistance.

“I know. Meaning you have nothing on your stomach. Taking medicine without food could cause things to get worse.” Loki explains in a gentle voice. He had done plenty of research for you. 

“Can we just start with drinking something? My stomach is still queasy.” 

Loki hums thoughtfully. “I’ll make some tea, perhaps the caffeine may help.” 

You pat Loki’s arm. “You’re a lifesaver, babe.” 

Loki flushes at your term of endearment. Loki is usually the one to use endearments, not you. He clears his throat and sits up. “I shall be but a moment.” 

POST-DROME

Loki finally gets you to eat some soup and bread before you lay back down and go to sleep. 

The next day you sit up and hold your breath. The pain is gone. You quickly turn to Loki who is blinking his eyes open groggily. You wince when there is slight pain at your fast movement. It’s minor compared to what was going on yesterday though. 

Loki slowly sits up and you flush when the sheets fall down his bare chest and pool in his lap. “Feeling better?” He asks in a sleep roughened croak. His hand comes up to trail up your arm and land on your shoulder where he rubs it in a soothing circle. He rubs the sleep from his eyes with his other hand. 

“Loads better. I just feel some pain if I turn my head too fast.” 

Loki hums thoughtfully then yawns. He turns and checks the time from the clock on the nightstand. “It is seven A.M. sweetheart, do you have somewhere to be?” Loki looks back at you with a raised eyebrow. 

You shake your head and throw yourself into Loki who lets out a grunt at the impact before he falls back into the bed with you now on top of him. He squeezes you in a hug then lets his hands rub over your back. You both lay there with your eyes closed, enjoying the embrace, breathing in each other’s scent. 

“Thank you for taking care of me.” You murmur, already half asleep. 

“Of course. Anything for my beloved.” Loki says, kissing your forehead. 

“I know you really love me ‘cuz you watched me puke ‘n still look at me like I’m the prettiest woman in the world.” You slur out making Loki chuckle. 

“Go to sleep, darling.” Loki mutters. The vibrations of his words emitting from his chest make you snuggle into him more and sigh. 

“Love me, right?” You ask in a drowsy tone. 

“I do.” Loki says. He snickers when you pinch his arm. “I love you.” He whispers. 

You let out a happy noise then let sleep take you for a few more hours, wrapped in Loki’s warm embrace.

Tag list: @justfangirlthingies​ @biancablack2474​ @creeping156tin​ @ajeff855​ @high-functioning-lokipath  

[a-dorin]

exception

pairing: maul x human!reader 

word count: 685

warnings: none really. some tooth-rotting fluff. mentions of periods. mentions of pms... umm.. lemme know if there’s anything else. 

a/n: not me indulging in self-projection fic. i’m currently suffering from a migraine/my period. also, the reader is human in this. i’m sorry to all my peeps who have alien ocs :// i hope you guys enjoy. it’s been a long time since i’ve typed for my favorite zabrak <3 

maul loathed the human species. 

he despised their fragility. their weaknesses.  how pathetic they were, really.   how vulnerable they were to harm. how they possessed a multitude of health issues and diseases. how every single human was different in their own way, carrying a variety of complexities along with them. 

stars, how his lip curled in disgust at the mere thought of a human. 

yet, he was here, with you wrapped around his frame, running a steady hand through your scalp, massaging your roots. the other was absentmindedly running circles on your exposed back, dipping from the junction of where your shoulder blades met, down to the curve of your spine, just above your butt. 

a low, hushed tune drips from his lips as he does so, an old paecian lullaby. one he swore was erased from his memory he years passed, but it just flowed with such ease from his mouth. 

“are you feeling any better?” 

you stir, wrinkling your nose as another spasm of pain ripples through your skull, the pain shrill and unforgiving. 

“no.”

“you know how much i don’t like seeing you suffer like this,” his voice is delicate, careful not to be too loud for your sensitive state, “i wish there was more that i could do.”

“you are all i need right now,” you whisper, half-dazed from sleep, half-awake from the discomfort, “just, stay here.”

there’s a rumble in his chest, warmth blossoming within his two hearts. a throaty purr vibrates his upper half, the hand that was tangled in your hair drifting towards your face. 

he holds your cheek for a moment, the pad of his callused thumb savoring the smoothness of your skin, the way it feels so wonderful under his fingertips, “you know i would never leave you here like this. i’d worry too much while i was away.”

there’s a beat of silence as you snuggle closer to him, wriggling your body so that his warmth could envelop you. his tender touch and cautious demeanor have you melting, as he was typically never one to show such affection. 

however, he wanted to swath you with it, especially when you needed it most. 

and maul knew this was a monthly occurrence. it was almost like clockwork, even. he knew when it would start to the exact day. you whole aura would shift. you would become more susceptible to the migraines that would rack your skull. you would experience cramps in your abdomen. sometimes so badly that it would keep him up all hours of the night, holding you in his arms as you sobbed and sobbed, begging for the pain to stop.

maker, did maul wish more than anything he could help the pain subside.  

he hated those aspects of the human anatomy. the menstrual cycle. why did humans have such a complicated way of doing things? particularly, he didn’t like seeing how physically weak it made you at times. 

oh, how fragile you were like this. 

maul leans forward, placing a gentle kiss on your head. you murmur a string of incoherent babbles. something about a thank you. or, was it i love you? the zabrak couldn’t quite make out the words. 

“i love you, my shining star,” maul resumes his actions, his touch so achingly wonderful as you fall into a deep slumber. 

oh, how maul did not favor how he got here. how you were in such despair. yet, the tranquility of the moment, the way your heartbeat synchs with his, the way you just fit so perfectly against him, a glimmer of happiness bubbles up. 

he’s content like this, really.

the zabrak was well aware he would be doing this again next month. and the next, and the one after that. but, truly, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t all that bad. just an excuse to dismiss his duties, to tend to you. to savor moments like these. ones that would stick in his memory for years to come. 

oh, how maul loved you. so much. 

maul didn’t like humans. 

but you. 

you were the only exception. 

his favorite human. 

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

tagging some maul mutuals: @maulieber​ @justalittlecloud​ @zabrak-show​ @elenamiria​ @anakinswhore​ @mother-0f-monsters​ @maximumninjavoid​

[lilfellasblog]

Tolerable

Summary: Virgil's been accepted by Thomas and the famILY, even after they found out his secret. But will this be too much for them to handle? Or: Virgil has endometriosis, thinks he has to hide it, and that works out as well for him as you think it will.

A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience.

TW: Past bullying and harassment mentioned, endometriosis, menstruation, this is a sick!fic, painful cramps, unsympathetic dark sides.

Word Count: 2351

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

Virgil groaned and curled into himself. Not for the first time, he cursed the Mindscape’s sick sense of humor for not only making him the only trans Side, but also for giving him the period from hell. After researching his symptoms and checking in the Subconscious (he tried not to think about how he could see everything in there), he had discovered he had endometriosis. It certainly explained what he’d been experiencing. He didn’t even want to think about the number of tampons and pads he burned through. Alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen could only take the edge off so much. The websites he visited suggested some, ahem, all-natural pain remedies, but Virgil was the opposite of in the mood when he was on his period. He felt tired and dizzy and light-headed and nauseous, and he always seemed to get migraines at the same time of his period because apparently God hated him personally.

He ground a fist into his lower abdomen during a particularly painful cramp that felt like his internal organs were ripping each other in half, and kept it there until the pain subsided somewhat. He wasn’t sure why, but pressing his knuckles into the spot where he felt the most pain seemed to help lessen the severity of that particular wave.

Virgil sighed, trying to figure out if he wanted to ask the others for help. He was exhausted, having dealt with this for a day already on his own. They’d all accepted him, including Thomas (thank fuck), but he didn’t know if they wanted to deal with everything that came with him being a trans guy. Yet, now that they knew, even though he’s dealt with this on his own before, being alone feels even harder.

What if they’re grossed out? They weren’t grossed out by me being trans, they seemed sad whenever I had even asked, but this is… yeah. I don’t know, I don’t want to push it. Just as he finished that thought, an excruciating pain ripped through him. He bit his knuckle and held his breath to keep from crying out.

“Virgil? You okay in there buddy? You missed breakfast, so I brought some up if you want any,” Patton offered through the door.

Virgil had to breathe through his nose to battle his nausea at the thought of breakfast food. “Thanks Pat. I’m good, just not feeling too well. I’ll be fine in a bit.” It’ll be manageable in a few days.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry to hear that! Is there anything I can do? Would soup help?”

Actually… “Yeah, I think I might be able to handle soup.”

“One bowl of soup, coming right up!”

“Thanks Pat.”

“Anytime!”

Despite his pain, Virgil smiled fondly. He’s too good for me. Before, if he’d shown any indication that he was on his period, the consequences would be more pain, some kind of humiliation, and a nightmare sequence courtesy of Remus that always lasted so long he’d bleed over.

Virgil rode out the waves of pain, unable to concentrate enough to follow Buzzfeed Unsolved, until Patton knocked on his door again.

“Virge? I have your soup,” Patton called quietly.

“Alri-” Virgil’s voice cut off as he was bowled over by a powerful tearing sensation that left him seeing stars.

“Virgil? You okay in there? Are you hurt?” Patton called, much more loudly this time.

Shitshitshit, I can’t let him see me, he’ll know I’m in pain and he’ll ask why and then I’ll have to tell him.

“I’m worried you’re hurt or unconscious, can you answer me?”

Virgil took a few deep breaths. “I’m here,” he croaked out.

“Oh honey, you sound like you’re in so much pain! Are you okay?!”

Since he wasn’t holding his breath, a pained keen left him against his will.

“I’m coming in.”

Fuck.

Virgil tried to uncurl his body, but he couldn’t find the willpower to counter the pain. As soon as Patton caught sight of him, he quickly set the bowl of soup (with crackers and cheese, Virgil noticed) on the nightstand and rushed over.

“It’s okay, I’m here. What’s wrong? You look and sound like you’re in so much pain!”

The worst of it passed, and Virgil managed to relax his body a bit. “I’m okay, I’m… kind of used to it.”

Patton’s expression darkened. “Did they hurt you again?” he asked, voice nearly a growl.

“No, nothing like that!” Virgil quickly promised. Patton sagged in relief.

“Thank goodness.” Patton frowned. “This has happened before? Do you have a stomach bug?”

Virgil thought about lying for a brief moment, but was too scared of accidentally summoning Janus to risk it. “No…”

He cursed when Patton’s puppy dog eyes came in full-force. “Is it something bad?”

Just as Virgil was about to hedge around the answer, he felt a telltale dampness. “Uh, nothing dangerous for us since we’re Sides, but I do need to go to the bathroom.”

Patton immediately scooted aside. “Okay! I’ll be here when you get back,” he reassured.

Shit. “Thanks.”

Virgil uncurled himself from his position on the bed, then carefully made his way to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up since he had bled over a bit, changed out his pad and tampon. Just as he was about to flush away the bloody water and toilet paper, there was urgent knocking at the door.

“Virgil, are you okay?!”

Virgil was a little annoyed, but knew to rein himself in. “Yeah Pat, I’m good, just about to wash my hands.”

“Sweetie, are you sure? There’s blood on the bed.”

OH FUCK.

“Um, I’ll be out a in a minute.”

Think think think think THINK!! Okay, what can I tell him? I could just fudge the truth a little bit, but that might be too close to a lie. I could just tell him I don’t want to tell him, but he’d be so sad that I don’t trust him and he deserves better than that. Shiiiiiiiiiiit.

Realizing he’d been staring into space, he dried his hands, then went out to face the music.

Patton was studying the comforter that had gotten stained, and looked up and smiled at Virgil as he emerged. “Hey Virge, I was just gonna wash this for you, is that okay?”

Virgil could feel another wave coming on. “Yeah, but you don’t have to.” Let me lie down so I don’t double over in front of you.

Patton waved him off. “Nonsense, you’re sick and I wanna help!”

SHIT. “Okay, I can help get it off.”

“Sure!”

Virgil frantically tugged at the comforter, while Patton calmly gathered it up in his arms. As soon as the comforter was off the bed, Virgil laid down and curled up, hopefully in a way that made it look like he was just lying down.

“Virgil, can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer!”

Virgil assessed Patton. Patton was looking nervous himself, biting his lip and eyes averting themselves.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Patton took a deep breath. “Well, I know you’re in a lot of pain, you’re not feeling well, you said it’s happened before, and there’s blood that you don’t seem too worried about.” He fidgeted uncomfortably, trying to figure out how to ask. “Is there anything I can do to help with… this?”

Virgil sighed. Of course he’d figure it out. “Honestly, the soup is more than what I usually get-”

“What?!” Patton cried.

Oops.

“Um, usually I just kinda deal with it on my own?”

Virgil kicked himself for the devastated look on Patton’s face. “Oh Virge…”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind dealing with it by myself!”

“I know, but you shouldn’t have to! And you don’t have to anymore!” Patton declared. “You’re in so much pain, is that normal? Is there anything we can do to help?”

“Normal for me, yeah, and I don’t think so.”

“Normal for you? Why just you, are you in more pain than other people who get periods?”

Way to put it on the nose Patton. “I-”

“What’s this regarding?” Logan asked as he walked in.

Patton didn’t close the door, shit!! “Nothing!”

“Patton seemed to be implying that you’re in a great deal of pain-”

“WHO DARES HARM YOU?!” Roman thundered, sword already drawn.

GODAMMIT. “NO ONE. Okay, Jesus Christ. Look, I’m fine, I’ve just got the period from hell. I’m sorry you guys found out, I didn’t mean to, I’m fine dealing with this on my own, I know it’s weird and-” Virgil cut himself off at the sorrowful looks he was getting. He sighed. These guys aren’t the Dark Sides, they probably don’t think it’s weird and gross and something I’m doing to them on purpose. “Sorry. Just, I have this thing that makes this harder, I can’t think of the name because I can’t think during this, and I’m fine. I’m just miserable for a week and then it’s manageable. This is better treatment than I usually get, and now I can at least get food. Just ignore me.” Virgil cursed God as another devastating cramp chose that specific moment to be an asshole. He held his breath, but couldn’t stop from curling in on himself. Concerned Patton noises could be heard, and Logan was trying to encourage Virgil to breathe. Roman just stood there, feeling helpless.

Once it passed, Virgil unclenched and took a few breaths. “Sorry,” he panted.

“Please do not apologize. Average menstrual cramps-” Virgil winced. “-have been shown to be at a similar pain level as a heart attack, and it sounds like you experience more severe cramping. If you wish to be left alone, then we will respect that,” Logan stated, agreements coming from each of the other Sides. “But there is still the concern of unusual pain. Do you require pain medication?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, it helps me not lose my mind, but it can only do so much. I’m on the max dose for ibuprofen and tylenol right now, and I’m alternating them.”

Logan frowned. “This is your pain level even with medication?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, it’s this thing that starts with an “e”… shit, what is it…”

Logan’s eyebrows shot up. “Endometriosis?”

“Yeah!” Virgil squinted. “How the hell did you know that?”

“I’m Thomas’ center of knowledge. Gracious, Virgil…” Logan trailed off. “Has a TENS unit ever proven helpful?”

“A what?”

Logan straightened up. “A TENS unit administers small electrical pulses to pain points or trigger points via electrodes placed on the skin. Research, as well as personal anecdotes, have shown them to be effective in combating menstrual pain. Would you like me to conjure one for you?”

Whatever, worst thing that might happen is it could hurt worse for a few seconds. “Sure, why not.”

Logan closed his eyes, and a few seconds later a rectangular device with a bunch of wires coming out of it appeared. “Would you like me to apply the electrodes, or would you like to?”

The thought of someone touching his bare skin, especially where he was in so much pain, still scared him, even though he knew these weren’t the Dark Sides. “I can put it on.”

No one said anything as Virgil rolled over to his side and placed the electrodes where Logan instructed. He turned back over, blushing slightly and feeling weird. He could feel another bad one coming on, and he hoped that this would work. Logan handed Virgil the unit.

“There are a few levels of electricity. Since this is your first time, it’s recommended you start at 1 and see if you need to increase from there.”

Before the next bastard cramp could come to do its damage, Virgil just nodded and turned on the device, bracing himself for electrocution pain. Instead, the cramps was… not as bad? It still hurt like a motherfucker, but it wasn’t as godawful as it could be. He cranked it up a few more dials, and the pain dimmed to a level he couldn’t remember ever feeling.

His eyes widened as he uncurled and sat up, jaw slack. The pain was still there, and he could still tell that his muscles were freaking the fuck out, but the pain was down so much he could almost ignore it.

So Logan just made my life about a thousand times better. How do I let him know?

“What kind of bullshit wizard magic is this?” Nice, REAL kind of you to say after Logan literally changed your life.

Logan just did his proud little smirk of his and drew his shoulders back. “No magic involved, merely science, and,” he adjusted one side of his glasses. “logic.”

Virgil sighed, still light-headed and dizzy, but the amount of relief that flooded his body without the pain was helping him feel so much better.

Logan frowned. “If you’ll excuse me, Thomas requires my help with a business e-mail.”

Virgil looked out through Thomas’ eyes and Sanders what the HELL. “Yeah, you’d better go deal with that.”

Patton waved his hand over the bowl of soup to warm it. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

Virgil fidgeted. “Not to be a stereotype, but I’m currently willing to commit homicide for chocolate.”

In the next moment, Virgil found his lap full of his favorite dark chocolate-sea salt-almond bars.

“I should probably go too, make sure Thomathy gets the tone of the e-mail right,” Patton said regretfully.

Virgil waved him off. “No worries, go do your thing.”

“I’ll keep our brave knight company!” Roman declared.

Patton said goodbye and sank out. Roman and Virgil stared at each other.

Roman broke first. “Soooo, friendo…”

Virgil sighed, putting Roman out of his misery. “I don’t usually feel like being a people, but this TENS unit thing is really helping. I’d be down to play some video games after lunch.”

“Sounds wonderful! I’ll get the game set up!” Roman sank out with his usual flair.

Virgil snorted and shook his head. Thank god for TENS units.

He flushed as he thought to himself, Thank god for famILY.

[naturalholisticlivingwellness]

It’s kind sad to think that guys and girls have been conditioned that THIS is normal for a woman’s cycle, but it’s actually not normal to be in pain during that time of the month. Pain in any form is the body’s way of telling you something is wrong and out of balance. I would like to clarify some things and tell you about somethings I’ve figured out in the last couple of years of going natural and with what has helped my own cycle.

1. Magnesium. When you crave chocolate, that’s actually your body craving magnesium, which is a muscle relaxer. When you apply a magnesium cream like Good Night Lotion directly to the cramping region it helps the muscles to not tense up as much and helps to reduce cramping.

2. Rebalancing the hormones. Doctors tell us that the only way to not hate being a woman is to take birth control, but that is absolutely not the case. Actually, birth control in my experience can actually make it worse. Besides the mental health issues that can stem from the birth control wrecking the natural hormone cycle and gut health, it can also cause an imbalance of hormones. I’m speaking from experience here for these, it sucks. If I don’t take anything for it, I get a horrendous migraine on day two of my period that makes me puke my guts out. Not fun. Thankfully I found some things that help with that. Natural Balance, Postpartum Balance and Lunamore tinctures have helped me to rebalance my hormones so I’m not miserable during that time of the month and Ease the Ache helps to minimize the cramping, bloating, and mood swings. Seriously, I’ve had a few periods where I forgot I was even on it because I never cramped ONCE. And women after childbirth their periods have a tendency to get worse because of the hormone shift.

3. Switching to more natural products helps to ease cramps as well. Disposable tampons and pads are soaked in toxic chemicals (ever see the warning for toxic shock syndrome?) that gets absorbed into a woman’s body. If you have to use disposable products, make sure to use organic pads and tampons. Alternative solution to this is menstrual cups (which is actually less gross than it sounds) and reusable cloth (if you’ve ever used or seen fluffy cloth diapers for babies is basically like that, but in a pad form, so it can be washed in really hot water and reused. The benefits of a cup or reusable pad is, well, you never have to run to the store to get them when you run out and with proper care you pay for them one time and don’t have to buy them again for several years. If you’re looking to save money, this is a BIG help! They can also get the hormones more better aligned to facilitate fertility.

4. Lavender Essntial Oil for Cramps. Essential oils have been used for thousands of years (it was part of the embalming process and could still be smelled faintly when they opened King Tut’s tomb and was what was given to Mary when Jesus was born if you’re religious). If you look up what Dr. Axe has to say about lavender essential oil, he actually links to some studies that found that lavender essential oil, when applied topically to the abdomen where the cramping is to ease the pain. I tried it, and it actually works! You apply a few drops neat (that is to say, undiluted) to the pudge we woman have (which is actually our womb!) and rub it in just like the Good Night Lotion. Now, there is a Good Night Lotion that has lavender essential oil in it, but I found it to be too diluted to help as well as it should, so I do them separately with the unscented (sensitive) formula or the lavender essential oil neat, depending on what I’m closest too. WORD OF CAUTION. While this is one essential oil that doesn’t need to be diluted when applied topically, many (like cirtrus, mint or spicy oils) do, which you can do by adding olive oil (it is not water solvable, so don’t use water!) Also, anytime you use oils, you want a high quality oil, which is typically not what’s in grocery stores but sold by individuals in marketing. I personally use Young Living.

Yes yes I know, it gets a bad rep and a lot of people think it’s a scam, because it’s multilevel marketing it’s not. While I do sell for them, and yes it is an MLM, I have no real intention of making a team per se. I won’t push you to buy from me or to sell it. If you find something (Young Living or any other company I work for) that you think might help you, great I will help you out. If you don’t no biggie. I’m not in it for the money, I’m in it to help people get their health back as nature (or God however you view it) intended for health to be, the money is just a nice little bonus that can help fill up the gas tank so my husband can get to work, my son go have fun bouncing around at the trampoline park and so I can pay it forward to someone who needs help :woman_shrugging:

Anyways, I hope you read these suggestions and I hope I can be of help to some women out there. I’ll post the links if anyone is interested. If not, no problem. Thank you for reading this and if you have a friend who’s having lady troubles and you think this might help her, please copy and paste this text and links and share with her!

Good Night Lotion

https://www.earthley.com/product/good-night-lotion/ref/Donezzia

Postpartum Balance

https://www.earthley.com/product/postpartum-balance/ref/Donezzia

Natural Balance

https://www.earthley.com/product/natural-balance/ref/Donezzia

Lunamore (designed with PCOS in mind)

https://www.earthley.com/product/lunamore/ref/Donezzia

Ease the Ache https://www.earthley.com/product/ease-the-ache-womens-cramp-formula/ref/Donezzia

A couple other tinctures worth mentioning that I forgot to help with hormones is Nourish Her Natural and Fertility Boost

Nourish Her Naturally

https://www.earthley.com/product/nourish-her-naturally/ref/Donezzia

Fertility Boost

https://www.earthley.com/product/fertili-boost-herbal-extract/ref/Donezzia

https://www.myyl.com/tiara-bishop#bwm/for-that-time-of-the-month

Picture from Google

[beauty-brains-and-booty]

I need insight on some female-reproductive health issues I have going on.

First, I’m not asking for any sort of medical advice, simply if other people have had a similar experience or can relate. I have NO idea what’s going on, and my first appointment with my new OBGYN isn’t until the 19th. I just would like some peace of mind in the meantime I guess? Warning: I’m going to get VERY TMI and put things in a timeline.

So, a bit of backstory. I’m 26. I’ve been on birth control for over 10 years now (first the combo pill, but I had to switch due to having certain types of migraines). I’ve now been on Nexplanon (the arm implant) for almost 5 years, and yes I’ve had it replaced after the 3 year mark. Before Nexplanon, I always had heavy periods, they were regular, but rarely any PMS symptoms or cramps or anything like that. After starting Nexplanon, I only had a period about twice a year, and they were always very short and light.

Within the last yearish, I started having periods more frequently as well as PMS symptoms and cramps. They’ve now become more regular. I’ll get a period every 5 weeks now, they’re heavy, and I get terrible PMS and cramps along with them. I’ve also been having light spotting between periods too, usually around the time I’m ovulating. I realize that’s normal. However, things have become very NOT normal lately.

My last period came a week early (the standard 28 days instead of 5 weeks). It started on September 25th and ended after only 4 days and was super light compared to usual (mine usually last 5-7 days). I had one of those weird gut feelings that something wasn’t right. I ended up taking a few pregnancy tests over those days of my period just to be safe. This may seem like overkill to some, but I wanted to be absolutely sure. I took a blue dye stick test. I wasn’t sure if I saw a VERY faint 2nd blue line or it it was just my anxiety. So, I went and got that triple pack of First Response tests (pink dye, digital, and rapid result). All of them over the next few days came back negative. So I just figured everything must be fine

A week ago (1 week after my last period had started), I began having pain in my lower abdomen/pelvic area. It was a dull ache and kind of felt like I had a 10 lb rock sitting inside me. I’ve had that feeling before and it tends to go away, so I just waited it out. But then on Thursday and Friday of this week, the pain got SO much worse. I have a general dull ache in the center/left of my pelvis/lower abdomen as well as on and off sharp pains on the left side around where my ovary should be. I have a LOT of pressure too as well as spotting, on and off nausea, and an on and off low grade fever.

Yesterday (Friday) when I woke up and went to the bathroom and wiped, I had some light yellow/green discharge and a bit of pink spotting. That was the only time I’ve had that discharge. I went to urgent care, they tested me for a UTI that came back negative and said to follow up with my OBGYN and go to the ER if the pain got worse, as they were limited in what they could do for OBGYN issues. Later in the day, I started having a bit more spotting that was dark chocolate brown (sorry to make that comparison but that’s exactly what it looked like. I checked my period calendar, and based on a 28 day cycle (which my body recently decided it was going to start), this was the day I was supposed to release an egg during ovulation. I chalked it up to maybe I’m just dealing with that weird syndrome where you have spotting and some pain during ovulation.

Today (Saturday), I woke up and felt okay at first. But then as I got up and started moving around, the pain and pressure came back and it’s SO bad. It’s radiating to my lower back, hurts to move, the spotting is more to where I have to wear a pad now and is more red than brown. I’m SO bloated (which I always am to some degree, but moreso now). A few hours ago, I started getting what sort of felt like a cross between menstrual cramps and diarrhea cramps. It came in a huge wave and I immediately went to the bathroom and pooped (important because I haven’t been able to do that in days because of the pain and pressure). Felt a bit better understandably, but I’m still having more menstrual-like cramp pain in addition to the sharp pain on my left side that’s now pretty constant instead of occasional. I still feel like I have to poop, and it feels like I have an inflated water balloon on my left lower abdomen. I feel like whatever is going on down there, there’s just so much pressure that it’s pressing on my bowels and making me feel like I need to go to the bathroom when I just can’t.

I did take another pregnancy test earlier. My reasoning was if it for some reason came back positive, I might be dealing with an ectopic pregnancy. It was negative though.So now I’m stuck here wondering what stage of medical issue am I at: 1) Is my period just fucked up due to something undiagnosed like cysts or endo? 2) DO I have a cyst and that’s what’s giving me these problems? 3) (the least likely but still on my worry list) WAS I somehow pregnant and the tests came back negative because I’m going through a miscarriage now?

I don’t want to go to the ER unless I feel it’s absolutely necessary. I’ve already been twice this year for other unrelated things and know how they can be about women’s reproductive health. I’m terrified of going and them just telling me it’s IBS and an irregular period and to follow up with my OBGYN. But at the same time, I’m not sure I can wait another week and a half if this issue doesn’t start to get better. Urgent care can’t do anything. I can’t get into Planned Parenthood until AFTER my OBGYN appt is scheduled for. I may not be able to get into my primary doctor either. So I’m stuck.

Has anyone else had similar issues? What ended up being the cause? Did anything help? Currently, OTC pain meds don’t really help and I’m just in bed and only moving when I have to. I know no one can tell me with certainty what I’m dealing with, I just hate feeling confused and alone and in pain not knowing what the issue is. Thank in advance for any insight or advice or kind words.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #331

my head hurts way too badly to think up some intro lyrics, so just g’night.

Have you ever become good friends with someone you never met in person? Oh yeah, I've had best friends over the Internet. Hell, I'm closer to many online friends than I am most irl ones. They know "the real me" more. What do you consider your default mood to be? Stressed, probably. Discontent. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Not long. Proper goldfish husbandry is a very neglected topic, and I sure as hell never knew how to set up its tank adequately. Have you ever been paintballing? No, don't plan to. It looks like it hurts like a bitch. Do you want a large wedding? No. Did you ever collect any sort of cards? I had a very small collection of Pokemon cards. I didn't collect them avidly. What’re the best and worst books you ever had to read for a class? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton was the best. The worst was some book we had to read in the 6th grade about a kid during some war that moved around a lot... I don't remember the name or who wrote it, but it sucked. What’s the best meal you had at an amusement park, or If you haven’t been to one, how about a good meal at another place like a zoo, aquarium or museum? I don't know. I haven't been to many. Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? My PHP therapist emails me a check-in sheet and Zoom link every day there's a therapy session. What kind of sound or noise freaks you out the most and why do you think it scares you? Let's seeeee... I don't know if there's a sound that actually freaks me out. There are some I don't like, but none that like, frighten me. At least that I can think of. What’s the strangest art piece you’ve come across? Biiiitch there's a painting in Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs I'm not gonna go into, but shit fuckin wild. What’s the most clever or unique name you’ve come across for a business? I've definitely heard some cool ones, but I don't know about one that really stands out to answer this. If you had to name one of your hypothetical future children after a song, which song would you pick? Maybe like... okay, I'm blanking. Good thing I'm not having kids to name then, right? What’s the last song you heard? "Down in the Park" by Marilyn Manson is on atm. What is your favorite line from a TV show? *shrug* Any current family issues? No. How many hours do you spend online a day? How do you feel about that? I'm doing something on the computer pretty much... always. I hate it, and I hate it a lot. I don't want my life to be tied solely to the digital plane. I want to do more than bounce back and forth from website to website. Do you think that people have the power to make their own lives better? Absolutely, but there are some things they simply cannot change. It's about perspective and how you play the deck you're dealt. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Right now, the most limiting thing is my physical health, probably. Just walking being torture affects my ability to exercise, and my body is a major reason - if not the biggest, at this current time - for my depression. This also plays a massive role in jobs I can handle. Not to sound like my emo self writing middle school poetry, but my body feels like a prison. Do you feel that you are loved? I know I am by some people, though I have a hard time understanding why a lot. What is the one thing you want most from life? Life satisfaction. Pride in what I've accomplished. A regular state of being content. Birthplace? I'm just gonna say in eastern NC. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, merely infatuation. Love is much too deep for that. Do you think dreams eventually come true? Some can, but usually only if you put effort into making that so. Favorite fictional character? like ummmmmmmm have you heard of this sassy bastard called Darkiplier- Go to the movies or rent? Before Covid, I loved going to the theater. It was something to do, plus a giant screen is nice. McDonalds or Burger King? McD's. I'm not a big BK fan. I only really went there during my vegetarian phase for the veggie burger. Current annoyance? This motherfucking headache. Last thing you ate? I have a meal replacement shake with me right now, if you consider that "eating." I didn't have a proper dinner. The last solid food I had though was some cookies and cream Greek yogurt. Last thing you bought? With my own money, I think I bought Mom and I some cheap McDonald's order semi-recently? Or maybe paying my $100 deposit for my tattoo was most recent, idk. Soonest thing you are looking forward to? For Mom to get her CT scan and find out what's going on in there. What did you do today? It was a pretty average day. I woke up way too early, though. The only thing even semi-unique about today was I played World of Warcraft for a few hours again; I've been quite unattached to it lately, but I went through an episode today of actually having fun playing. Oh, and I've been battling a migraine. It's more of a severe headache now, at least, but it still sucks big time. Do you like to see it snowing outside? Oh yes, absolutely! When you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? I believe once we did from a very volatile student that honestly caused quite a lot of trouble. He's dead now. Who knows ALL of your secrets? Nobody. Did you have a job before you were in college? No. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? That's a terrifying thought, no. Are you on birth control? Yeah, but just because it tames my menstrual cramps. Without it, they could be debilitating some days. Who is your last sent text to? My best fren. Have you ever eaten at Chipotle before? Possibly? Idr. Do you swear often? Excessively. I had a dirty mouth prior, but my swearing got really bad when I started staying at Jason's house a lot. He and especially his mother swear like mad. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No. Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? Not at this house, no. Would you ever go to Japan? Oh, yes. I would love to. It's... very morbid, but I would really like to walk the (public) paths of Aokigahara Forest, nicknamed "Suicide Forest" for the horrible amount of, well, suicides that happen there via hanging. Like, you might just casually run into a dead body. I want to just... feel it there, walk in silence and empathize with people who didn't know what else to do and hope so deeply that those departed know they were never alone in their pain. I know with absolute certainty I'd probably be teary-eyed the whole time and cry a whoooole lot, but it's just an experience I want to have. What was the last thing you went to Walmart for? Some basic groceries. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping, given this headache... I just don't want to yet. Are you afraid of getting your heart broken? I'm fucking terrified of that ever happening again, far more than words can properly express. Have you ever been in a choir? Yes, actually; when I was a Catholic kid, my sisters and I were in the church choir for a year or so, idr. Do you have a Twitter? Yes, but only to like Mark's tweets, haha. Oh, and very rarely enter giveaways I'm interested in. Describe your retainers to me, if you have them, that is. I have a permanent metal one behind my front row of bottom teeth to keep those straight. My upper teeth had one of those normal retainers you take in and out, but I didn't wear it enough, so now it doesn't even fit. Would you like for someone to call you right now? No. I'm tired, my head hurts, and I'm enjoying the song I'm bingeing. It's so weird, I rarely ever go on music hunting trips (no real reason, I just... don't), but I've found great shit lately. Do you like to brush your teeth? No; it's a chore. I only do it because I don't want my teeth decaying, falling out, or getting too yellow, and the taste in your mouth and gritty texture on your teeth isn't exactly great when you don't brush. Have you ever had a surgery? Two. Give out your phone number over the internet? I have over private messages. Do you look older or younger than you actually are? Given my wardrobe (like graphic tees and band shirts), I probably look younger in the eyes of especially older people. I personally say I look my age, though. When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? I never plan to be again. What is the last show that you watched a full episode of? Some cooking show with Mom. Nailed It!, I think? Do you know anyone who lives in Utah? No. I love Utah, though; it's actually a place I'd be willing to live in with just how pretty it is and not super populated. Do you get your feelings hurt easily? VERY. I'm probably one of the most sensitive people you can meet. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yeah. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Ugh, yes. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? First we took those nasty, chalky Flintstones kinds, but as time passed, Mom moved onto giving us gummy bear vitamins that were perfectly fine. Did you get any compliments today? No. Are you friends with your neighbors? Not "friends," no. What towns have you lived in? Three different ones. That's all you're getting. Have you ever thrown up from drinking? No. Done any illegal drugs? No. I mean I've had some alcohol underage, but I've never done anything remotely hardcore. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been on an airplane without changing flights? Idk. Who have you texted today? My mom and best friend. What time did you wake up this morning? Ugh, like five in the fucking morning. I couldn't go back to sleep. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Making shitty eye contact, and I'm one of those people who "talks with [their] hands." I also lose my train of thought a whoooole lot. Have you ever layed in a hammock? Yeah; we had one growing up. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? Well yeah, I've had lots of pets, so thus lost some in particularly painful ways. The most scarring loss of a pet though is as follows: Teddy, my dog, picked up one of our cat's very young, wandering kittens in his jaws in a manner that looked as if he was trying to carry it like Aphrodite (the mother cat) does when she would bring them back behind the couch, where she gave birth/had her little "nest." I absolutely freaked and had to pry the kitten from his mouth, and it slowly died in my hands. I think Teddy accidentally crushed its ribs. I. Was. A. Mess. Then, there was Aphrodite herself. I've told the story before of our former neighbors calling animal control because our cats would wander through their yard, and all of our cats were taken away while I was unaware at school. Came home, and they were all gone. Aphrodite was my baby, so I was devastated. Screaming, sobbing, cursing on the porch for like 20 minutes... It was awful. What type of curtains do you like? I don't... know? I don't know the actual names of any types... What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? I absolutely cannot be friends with someone who thinks they're above everyone else. Are you any good at reading someone's body language? I think I am. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Cookies! Especially Oreos. Dip it in there for around five seconds, and it's perfection. What fruit is too sweet to you? Grapefruit came to mind first. How did you feel after your first kiss? I had butterflies galore and was so giddy and smiley. After the first, I just wanted to kiss him a billion more times. What’s your favorite constellation and why? I don't have one. Shower curtain or door? Curtain. The glass doors are too revealing. Have you ever thought to yourself that you’re the luckiest person in the world? Most deeeeefinitely not. What time of day do you most enjoy looking at the sky? Sunset if there are clouds present, but sunrise if the sky is pretty clear.

[justalittleobsessive]

Friday, March 2, 2018

22-30 last one of these things!!!!I know its been awhile but i really needed to finish this challenge. so lets get started!!!

22. what makes me different....uhhhh i had to ask my aunt because all i could say was i know im Different but how ??? growing up i was different from the other kids because id rather read then play while kids would get in trouble in class for talking or passing notes id get in trouble for reading i always read instead of doing homework i hated homework. when i would get grounded my step-dad would take all my books and computer so i couldn't read ... little did he know i could read on my phone. ( i had a blackberry at the time).

23.  Something you crave a lot. Captain Crack!! its like rice crispy but instead of rice crispy and marshmallows .its captain crunch and gingerbread marshmallows. And its freaking AMAZING!!!

24. 3 books on my bookshelf. ummm Twilight , the Hunger Games ... the Fault in our Stars and a lot more !

25. what would you find in my bag..hmm  a medicine cabinet... ( Tylenol, allergy pills, menstrual relief and birth control, ear drops, migraine medicine ) headphones. my wallet and like 3 different lip glosses and chap stick. a cellphone charger.

26.what i think about me friend(s). well i think she is super awesome! i am super proud of her and what she is doing with her life. i don't know what i would do without her.

27. why am i doing the 30 day day challenge..... I don't know any more!!!! it was supposed to be fun something to keep me accountable for something but .... i fudged up!!!! i am so done with this challenge. but i have learned so much about myself that maybe this challenge did some good...

28.post a picture of you from a year ago and now (only pick ) . how have you changed left is a year ago right is now.

i have lost some weight, actually cut my hair and its grown back to the same length. other than that not much ...

29. what have i learned in the past month... that i am shit at keeping a schedule and blogging is hard if you want to do it everyday.  but once you get going the post just comes naturally. 

30. my favorite song. right now because it changes all the time its river by Ed Sheeran And Eminem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BXDsVD6O10 OH MY GOD I'M FINISHED. THE CHALLENGE IS DONE!!!!!!  

THANK YOU FOR READING

KELLY PAFFORD

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

‘Something’s Wrong with Molly’ Chapter 1: the hurt

I finally finished this fic I wanted to write for @colonialfire24 where Sherlock is frantically trying deduce why Molly’s having a bad day.

I wanna put a mild trigger warning, as it mentions depression. I wanted to explore that side of things more, mainly because I keep going in out of bouts of depression, myself, and after all that happened in S4, I’m sure everyone in the show is feeling that way.

Also, I plan to write an epilogue for this, which you will find on the ao3 version :)

.

.

               “Hello Sherlock. Is this urgent, cause I’m not having a good day.”

               Sherlock frantically looked for any physical signs on the video feed that could’ve contributed to Molly’s bad day. What was wrong? What made his Molly so sad? Her current mood would make this harder than ever. He didn’t want to hurt her, but here he was, ready to plunge the knife into her beautiful, loving heart, beating the sweetest melody. She looked a bit bloated—menstrual cycle perhaps, but there was something more. Her eyes looked haunted, as if she had seen something she wished could be unseen.

               “Molly, I just want you to do something very easy for me, and not ask why.” He knew this would be far from easy. Sherlock knew her well, and he knew she’d fight him on this request. It was at this moment, he knew the stakes. If he drew these words forcefully from her pretty pink lips, she would never speak to him again. It was a risk he was willing to take to save her life.

               “Oh, God,” she scoffed. “Is this one of your stupid games?”

               “No, it’s not a game. I… need you to help me.” Cat. Toby isn’t meowing. There’s no sign of him anywhere. Oh God, she must have needed him to be put down today. She had mentioned her cat taking ill a couple of days ago.

               “I’m not at the lab,” she replied curtly. I know you’re not, he wanted to say. He took notice of the dark circles beneath her eyes; lack of sleep was evident.

               “It’s not about that.”

               “Well, quickly, then.”

               Sherlock blinked rapidly, unable to form the words he needed. He knew time was running out, but was unable to find a way to save her from the turmoil he was about to put her through.

               Molly sighed in annoyance. “Sherlock? What is it? What do you want?”

               You, he thought. The tick-tocking in Moriarty’s voice made him feel queasy, knowing the end result of this exchange was going to be heartbreaking for both of them. Getting his thoughts together, he spoke clearly and calmly. “Molly, please, without asking why, just say these words.”

               The corner of her mouth lifted up in a small smile, clearly intrigued by his request. “What words?”

               Here goes nothing. “I. Love. You.” Sherlock hoped his clinical tone would help the situation. It obviously had the opposite effect, he realized, watching her smile drop as she pulled the mobile away from her ear, thumb hovering over the ‘end call’ button.

               “Leave me alone.” Her voice was sharp, and rightly so.

               Feeling the panic settle in, Sherlock raised his voice, speaking frantically. “Molly, no, please, no, don’t hang up!  Do not hang up!” His eyes moved over the screen, as if trying to find the answer to the universe within her flat’s kitchen; within Molly, herself. Eurus’s voice over the intercom reminded him to be calm, or else…well, he would never let it come to that. If the only way to save her was to have her hate him, then so be it.

               “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you making fun of me!?”

               Sherlock realized then what was wrong with Molly. A string of events led to the state she was in now. He remembered the bottle of migraine pills she had begun carrying around with her not long after Mary’s death. He then spiraled into a drug-addled state, nearly killing himself in the process, and then nearly being killed by Culverton Smith. She recently put Toby down, and the anniversary of her father’s death was fast-approaching. The fatigue, and loss of interest were the most obvious signs. She didn’t appear to have been eating much either, though her bloated state covered that up for the regular mind, but Sherlock saw right through her.

               Molly Hooper, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, was in a state of depression, and this phone call wasn’t going to make things any better. Sherlock silently prayed to a God he didn’t believe in. “Please, I swear, you just have to listen to me.”

               “Softer, Sherlock,” Eurus reminded him.

               “Molly,” he began in a cheerier tone, “this is for a case. It’s…it’s a sort of experiment.” The moment those words left his lips, he knew they were a bit not good.

               “I’m not an experiment, Sherlock.” Despite her physical shakiness, her tone was firm.

               His eyes widened in panic. “No, I know you’re not an experiment. You’re my friend. We’re friends. But…please, just…say those words for me.” His voice broke, a result of his emotions knocking hard against his usual detached demeanor. He could swear he heard both of their hearts cracking open at the pained look on her face.

               “Please, don’t do this,” she begged him. “Just…just…don’t do it.”

               “It’s very important. I can’t say why, but I promise you it is.” He could hear the emotions he unleashed creep into every word he said. Could she? Sherlock hoped so.

               “I can’t say that. I can’t…say that to you.” She sounded calmer, but not enough to understand there was more to this call. Come on, Molly, you’re so brilliant; why can’t you understand the gravity of this situation? Don’t you know me at all?

               “Of course you can. Why can’t you?” Sherlock felt he was going to lose it right there.

               “You know why,” she insisted.

               I do? Surely, I would’ve known why. She hates me; that’s the only possible reason. “No, I don’t know why,” he pressed.

               Molly sighed, sniffling, wiping a hand across her nose. “Of course you do.”

               God, please, give us strength. It was all he could think in that moment. The tick-tocks were driving him insane. “Please, just say it.” He swears he’s never said the word ‘please’ so much in his life.

               “I can’t. Not to you.” Molly refused to budge on the subject.

               “Why?”

               Her voice breaking, she replied, “Because…because it’s true.” A few rapid breaths, and she was speaking again. “Because…it’s…true, Sherlock.” Molly was crying now, unable to hold back the tears that had welled up in her eyes. “It’s always been true.” It was practically whispered, but he heard her loud and clear.

               Sherlock allowed himself a moment of happiness in a split second, before slipping back into his detached façade. “Well, if it’s true, just say it anyway.”

               Molly laughed in disbelief. “You bastard.”

               “Say it anyway,” Sherlock spoke firmly.

               “You say it. Go on. You say it first,” she challenged him.

               Shock was written all over his face. “What?”

               “Say it,” she demanded. “Say it like you mean it.” Her voice softened, as if she hadn’t meant to be so firm with him at first.

               Sherlock takes a breath, and closes his eyes after Eurus warned him he only had thirty seconds left.  “I…” he began hesitantly. “I…I love you.” He braved another look at the screen, and noticed the small smile that appeared on her face. His mind palace brought up all of the crucial memories of their friendship in the speed it took to have your life flash before your eyes. In Sherlock’s case, his life was flashing before his eyes. Molly was everything to him; all these years he was falling in love without even realizing it until this very moment. “I love you.” His voice was soft, brimming with epiphanies and possibility.

               Molly closed her eyes for a moment, and brought the phone down to look at the screen once more. Please don’t hang up, Molly.

               “Molly?” he felt the panic rise in him all over again. “Molly, please.”

               Her lips were nearly touching the phone as she finally spoke, “I love you.” And then it was over. The last nail in the proverbial coffin, twisted within both their hearts, shattering their friendship into pieces. Sherlock swore he could feel it embedded deep within him. And although he was well aware that she wouldn’t speak to him again after this, he still found himself thanking God that she was safe.

[urcadelimabean]

Jack, Anne, Vane, Teach, Low, Randall, Betsy :)

skipping Anne because I did that one already :p

Jack – Describe your personal style.

Comfortable clothes, plaid shirts, tank tops, boots or sneakers, sweaters. I basically never wear makeup because it’s too much work :) well, also I don’t like it.

Vane – Do you enjoy physical challenges?

HELL YES. Sometimes in a very stupid way. I climb things I shouldn’t climb. I really loved wrestling with guys who had no idea I could win against someone twice my size. If you tell me you bet I can’t pick you up I will try (and for the record I have never met a friend I couldn’t carry)

Teach – Do you have a high tolerance for pain?

Given that I used to do mixed martial arts and get bruises on my face, I’d say probably yes. But honestly I kind of hate the phrase pain tolerance since it’s most often used to shut people down when they’re having a problem with pain, and really none of us can “tolerate” pain because once you’re in it there’s kinda nothing you can do through sheer willpower. Especially when it comes to pain that’s extreme that you haven’t experienced, there’s no way to tolerate it. My ability to tolerate pain has probably negatively impacted my life more than anything, because it made me reluctant to talk to doctors about my knee problem after surgery, and I went through years of menstrual pain and migraines.

Ned Low – Are you an impulsive person?

No :( (well unless it comes to physical challenges LOL)

Randall – What’s your favourite thing to cook?

One time I made a chocolate and raspberry mousse and it turned out SO WELL. It wasn’t chocolate-raspberry, the two were separate, and tasted so good together. (It was a raspberry mousse recipe without gelatin - I have it somewhere)

Betsy – What pets do you have?

a dumb tortoiseshell and a fat orange dumpling