#i hate going places i hate traveling i NEVER sleep well and then i just feel like SHIT i hate it
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foxcassius · 1 year ago
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im not like mad that i came to busan with jenni, i'm glad i came, but i also should have planned to go home at like 11 am bc im so fucking tired and i am feeling so sick
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hier--soir · 1 year ago
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fake it
joel miller x f!reader
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rating: explicit, 18+ mdni summary: does joel know you well enough to know when you're faking it? warnings/tags: [18+ MINORS DNI] smut, smut, smut, it's pretty much entirely smut, dirty talk, unprotected piv sex, cream pie, faked orgasm, panty sniffing, cunnilingus. word count: 5.7k masterlist a/n: i've had this idea worming around in my head for days and i just had to get it out so heRE WE GO
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“We’ll stop here for the night.”
Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of Joel’s voice, and the truck rolled to a stop as he parked it in the middle of a field, directly on the edge of a thick forest. The three of you had been on the road for hours since leaving Bill and Frank’s place, and you’d drifted in and out of a fitful sleep for the past few hours, painfully aware that it was your turn to take first watch once you stopped somewhere for the night.
“Fucking finally,” Ellie grumbled from the backseat, and Joel shot her an annoyed glance through the rear-view mirror.
It was already dark outside, and you shone a torch ahead into the inky black mass as the three of you spread your sleeping bags out on the ground. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, adrenaline spiking in the darkness. You’d always been afraid of it; the dark, and what lurked within it. And being in the middle of a field, late at night, unable to make a fire, was surely one of the worst case scenarios you could think of.
“You guys sure we’re safe out here?” Ellie asked warily. You noticed her eyes staring out across the forest, trying to spot anything through the thick mass of tall trees.
When Joel didn’t answer her immediately, his own eyes drifting outward to gaze into the darkness, your stomach dropped. After a second of too much silence you discreetly elbowed him in the side. His head snapped around to look at you, frowning as he rested a hand on his rib. 
“We’re fine,” you assured Ellie quickly, raising your eyebrows at Joel, as if to say, right?
“Yeah,” he said, eyes sliding from you to her. “No one’s gonna find us out here. You should get some sleep, we’re movin’ early in the morning.”
She nodded, still looking somewhat unconvinced, before slipping into her sleeping bag and rolling over so that her back was to the pair of you. You stared at your partner for a moment, chest aching with anxiety, hating the way his tone of voice hadn’t calmed your nerves.
Too anxious to sit down and rest for a moment, you shouldered a hunting rifle instead, positioning yourself close to the truck, where you could see both of them clearly. Every few minutes you rotated your body, watching the trees from every angle, making sure you would notice if there was even the slightest sound or movement. You hands grew clammy where they held the gun, and you had to readjust your grip on it every once in a while.
“What’re you doin’?” Joel’s voice drifted over to you after a little while. You turned, huffing out a laugh when you saw him lazing on his sleeping bag, sipping from his flask of whiskey.
“What am I doing?” you chuckled. “What are you doing?”
“Getting’ drunk on the job,” he smirked, tipping his head back as he drank. You swallowed thickly, smile fading as you stared at his long, thick neck, and the way it was exposed when he tilted his chin up. It had been weeks since the two of you had done anything more than kiss, too preoccupied with Ellie, and getting to Wyoming.
It was as if Joel could sense where your thoughts had travelled, because his expression darkened, eyes squinting greedily at you from across the open space.
“Why don’t you come over here, darlin’,” he said, resting a hand on his thigh.
“Joel,” you warned quietly, but he just patted his thigh in encouragement, taking a long sip from his flask.
“Just c’mere.”
You spared a glance around you, will power hanging by a thread, but ultimately shook your head, refusing. Joel let out a huff and stood up. He moved slowly, eyes never straying from your face as he stalked towards you, like a predator hunting his prey. And you watched him, tongue darting out to wet your lips as he came to rest beside you, leaning against the truck. Doing your best not to look at him, you tightened your grip on the gun and allowed yourself to lean back against the vehicle as well.
Joel held out the flask to you. “What’s got you so worked up, sugar?”
Casting an irritated glance in his direction, you snatched the flask from his hand and took a long swig, welcoming the stinging distraction as the liquid burnt down your throat.
“You know I hate the dark,” is all you said.
He hummed from low in his throat, nodding once. He stretched out a hand and snagged one of your belt loops with his finger, tugging you quickly into his side. You stumbled into his chest with a sharp gasp of surprise.
“It’s not so bad,” his deep voice drawled, plush lips grazing your ear. You shivered, tucking the flask away before placing a hand on his chest, your fingertips digging into the soft muscle there. “Nothin’ scary about it.”
Joel let his nose trace along the shell of your ear, and then across your cheek, and then his fingers were gripping your chin, turning your face to his..
His lips claimed yours in a bruising kiss, sucking and biting, lathing his tongue along your bottom lip until you welcomed him into your mouth with a pitiful sigh. His tongue pressed against yours, stroking slowly, coaxing your jaw open. You were vaguely aware of his other hand gripping the zip on your jacket and tugging it down. Heat flared in your abdomen, and you gripped the collar of his jacket, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth and pulling back, enjoying the way he groaned as you stretched it out before releasing it with a wet pop.
You watched, glossy-eyed and already a little dazed, as Joel pried the gun out of your hands. He placed it gently onto the bed of the truck. His hand traced over your stomach, fisting the material intermittently, and then he was gripping your hips, spinning you so your chest was to the car, and he was pressed firmly against your back.
“Joel,” you muttered nervously, but he ignored you, sponging kisses behind your ear, suckling on the sensitive spot where your neck met your jaw. You could feel him, hot and hard against the curve of your ass. One of his hands drifted along the softness of your lower stomach, toying with the hemline of your shirt, and a stuttered gasp escaped your lips.
Sharp teeth grazed your neck, nipping at the skin and then he was lapping over it with his tongue, soothing the piercing ache he’d caused. You sighed at the feeling, rutting backward against him. You allowed your eyes to drift shut. And then they slammed back open again, as you realised neither of you would be keeping watch if you shut them. Joel’s face was hidden against your neck, there was no way he would see if anyone snuck up on the camp. Your heart thundered in your chest at the thought, and you kept your eyes open from then on.
“You smell so fuckin’ good,” he whispered against your skin, voice rough and wanton with need. “I’ve been missin’ you.”
“What abou-“
“She’s asleep,” he reassured, grip on your waist tightening. You could feel the way he was straining against his jeans, cock desperate and begging to be touched, as if he’d been thinking about this moment for hours, days, weeks. The ache between your thighs grew painful, and you rubbed against him harder.
“We have to be quiet,” you murmured quickly.
His only response was the distinct sound of his belt clinking, and then a shuffling noise as he dragged his pants low enough to free himself from the tight confines of his underwear. Not wasting a second, he gripped the waistband of your jeans and tugged them down as well, only satisfied when they rested around your knees, giving him full access to you.
One of his fingers glided messily between your folds and he sighed into your ear, marvelling at how wet you were for him already.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “Wish I could put my mouth on you right now. Know you’d taste so good for me, baby, always do.”
You groaned. A soft, pathetic sound.
“It’s been so long,” he groused, and you murmured your agreement. It felt like you were suspended in the air, anticipation holding you firmly in its grasp as you waited for him to do something, anything. “Can’t stand it; s’all I could think about today.”
He tapped the rough pad of a finger against your clit and your entire body flinched forward against the car. As if he could sense the way your knees were buckling, his free arm wrapped around you, holding you up. You murmured his name desperately, hips pushing down against his hand.
“Should I fuck you with my fingers first?” he asked quietly, middle finger circling your entrance. “Or should I let my cock stretch you out?”
When you didn’t answer, mind too fuzzy to string a sentence together, he said, “Hmm?”
“Please,” you keened roughly, turning to glance at him over your shoulder. “Just want you, need you inside me.”
You saw the way the muscle in his jaw worked, lips pursed together as tension rolled through his shoulders. And then his cock was gliding through your folds, smearing your slick over his length, before the blunt tip of him nestled at your entrance. A harsh shout left your lips as he pushed himself, bottoming out in one thrust. Instantly, one of his hands slapped over your mouth, fingertips pressing into your cheek. Your eyes widened, darting around the clearing that surrounded you both on all angles.
“This ain’t gonna work if you do that,” Joel said gruffly, adjusting his hips so he pulled out halfway, before pressing himself back into you. The burn was delicious, and you fluttered around him, gripping him tightly after so much time missing him inside you. A garbled version of your name escaped him, and you whimpered in response, bucking your hips backwards, silently begging him to continue.
He set a gruelling pace, pressing into you relentlessly. One hand covered your mouth while the other gripped the front of your shirt tightly, holding your body still as he fucked into you. When your body jolted against the car from a particularly rough thrust, he muttered a gruff apology into your ear, but didn’t let up. Back arching, you contracted around him, revelling in the sound of the muted groans being let out against the back of your neck.
You bit down into his palm, a muffled cry escaping you. The thought of Ellie waking up and discovering the pair of you flitted through your mind and you cringed. But it disappeared from your mind just as quickly, Joel’s movements driving it away.
The air filled with sounds of heavy breaths and an odd squelching sound, as your slick squeezed around his cock and dripped out of you. Low curses spilled into the atmosphere, and Joel was saying something, speaking to you, but you couldn’t hear him over the roar of blood in your ears. Everything was heightening. The muscles in your abdomen tightened and twitched with every movement of him inside you, and your hips strained backwards, meeting him thrust for thrust. It was all so fast, so desperate, and your body was begging for release after being left untouched for weeks.
But right as you felt yourself reach a precipice, as Joel pushed himself to hit the deepest part of you, everything was ruined.
Because a violent image ripped through your mind of someone storming into the camp in that moment and dragging Ellie out of her sleeping bag. Of someone pointing a gun at you and Joel, while you were defenceless. The darkness of the night seemed to crush in around you, reminding you of its presence and suffocating you. Anybody, or anything, could be out there right now, watching and waiting for the right moment to strike.
Goosebumps rose across your skin. You gasped at the thought, icy dread spiralling through your veins, your orgasm drawing further and further from reach. Except Joel took your gasp as a good sign, and groaned in response, hand dropping your stomach to toy with your clit as his thrusts grew jerkier. You jerked against him, mewling into his hand. It felt good. It felt so fucking good, and yet you couldn’t focus, too distracted to lure back the orgasm that had been dancing in the edges of your periphery.  
Your head was a violent jumble of pleasure and panic. A devastated moan tumbled from your lips, mouth hanging open as the head of Joel’s cock angled against your g-spot.
“There?” he asked breathlessly, and you nodded, reaching to grip the back of his neck. He moved faster, pushing and pulling and hitting that spot over and over. And you could feel the coil inside of you burn again, liquid heat spreading through your limbs as your body tried to reach that high again, but it just wasn’t fast enough. The car was cold against the front of your body, and your brain was on such high alert, that you knew you wouldn’t be able to get there.
“Come with me,” Joel encouraged gruffly, fingertips holding your jaw in a bruising grip. “Come on now, let me have it.”
He was so close. You could feel it in the way his rapid heartbeat crashed against your back; in the ragged breaths that were exhaled across your neck. His hips were stuttering against you, thighs tense. And you wanted him to feel good. Wanted him to let go after so long – god, he deserved it. So you did something you’d never done with Joel before.
You faked it.
Your chin tilted upward to the sky, and you let deep, elongated breaths rattle through your chest, singing his name into the palm of his hand. Joel made a deep guttural sound. His fingers rubbed messy circles against your clit, and you bucked against him, heart thrashing in your chest. He said you’resotight, and you said I’m comingohgodJoelohfuck, and through it all, you could feel it growing inside of you. Your lungs burned inside your chest. He was stretching you so perfectly, so deliciously, and you let out a genuine moan at the feeling of his rough thrusts. You could feel him in the bones of your skull, in the tips of your toes, and in every inch of your body in between, and yet you needed more.
Joel trembled, his entire body shaking against yours. You felt his cock jump inside you in quick, jerky movements and clenched around him, and then he exhaled a deep groan, and went still.  
After a few moments, he pulled out, and you gasped at the cold sensation. Rapid breaths left his mouth, he peppered soft kisses down the side of your neck, removing his hand from your face only to wrap both arms around your torso and hold you against him. Your core ached, clenching around nothing as his spend seeped out of you, spilling onto your inner thighs.
Turning in his arms, you offered him a dazed look. Your body was hot, coiled like a string pulled taught, waiting to snap. He kissed you, with less rush this time, and you returned it lazily, reaching down to tug your pants up over your hips again. Your tried not to cringe as your underwear pressed against you. You were uncomfortably wet, and the cold material stuck to your tacky skin. Joel did the same.
Pulling back from the kiss, you rubbed the side of your jaw, flexing your mouth open in an attempt to soothe the ache that had settled there. Joel watched you all the while. His dark eyes flickered over your face, trying to see you through the darkness.
“You good?” he asked quietly, at the same time as you heard a twig snap somewhere in the trees, off to your left. Your head snapped to the side, eyes glaring out through the thick inky black, ears straining. “Baby?”
“Sorry,” you said, shaking your head slowly. “Thought I heard something.”
Strong fingers gripped your chin, turning you to face him once more. A frown had settled across his face, eyebrows drawn tight across his forehead. His lips were a thin line, and his chest still shook as he regulated his breathing, but you could see it there; the understanding. Your heart skipped a beat in your chest as nervousness zipped through your body. He knew. There was no way, you told yourself. No way he could have known. And yet the longer you stared at each other, the deeper his frown got.
Wordlessly, his hand dropped between your bodies, and he pressed his palm against your mound through your pants. A soft sound of surprise escaped your mouth as his fingers curled against you, pressing against where your clit ached. You whimpered softly, numb fingers gripping his hand and holding it against you. Recognition flashed in his eyes, and you stilled, hand going lax on top of his.
“Fuck,” Joel said gruffly. “Fuck.”
You opened your mouth to speak, to deny it, to tell him it was fine, to say anything, but a rustling sound caught both of your attention. It was coming from the same spot as before, only this time it seemed louder, more pronounced. Your breathing paused.
“Get in the truck,” he said.
“Joel,” you tried, panic laced through your voice.
“Get in the truck now,” he said, grabbing the hunting rifle from the truck bed. “I’ll get the kid.”
Blood rushed in your ears as you walked swiftly to the passenger side of the truck, swinging yourself up into the seat and shutting the door behind you as softly as possible. Anxious goosebumps rippled across your skin as you stared out the window into the darkness, trying to catch a glimpse of Ellie or Joel. Minutes passed, and then the doors opened, and Ellie slumped inside, rubbing sleep out of her eyes, as Joel slammed into the driver’s seat, starting the car and tearing out of the field.
“Did you see anything?” Ellie asked from the backseat.
“No,” he said, not looking at either of you.
“Then why are w-“
“Go back to sleep,” Joel ordered her firmly, and you cringed at his tone, turning in your chair to offer her a sympathetic smile. She didn’t return it, laying down across the backseats and turning her back on the pair of you.
The car was entirely silent as Joel drove the three of you back onto a road, and continued heading towards Kansas City. And as much as your body yearned for sleep, you found yourself wide awake, eyes focused out the windscreen, watching the tarnished landscape pass you by, exposed up by the car’s headlights.
After an hour of driving, Joel finally spoke.
“Ellie?” he said, tone even.
No response came from the back seat. You watched him out of the corner of your eye. He repeated her name.
Satisfied when there was no response, he spared a glance in your direction, before turning back to look at the road.
As if against your own will, you whispered his name quietly, pleadingly.
“Don’t,” he practically growled.
“I’m s-“
“You thought I wouldn’t know?” his lip curled upward, a grimace painting his face. “Think that I don’t know you well enough to know when you’re faking it?”
Your entire body stilled. Heat prickled across your skin, and you prayed to a god you didn’t believe in that Ellie was truly asleep in the backseat. Your hands were clammy, and you wiped them fruitlessly against the material of your jeans, unsure of what to say. He waited for you to speak, and when you didn’t, a loose sigh rattled from his chest.
“You do this thing,” he said quietly. “When you come.”
“What?”
“This huge smile,” he frowned. “Like you can’t help yourself. Like it felt so good, that you can’t control your face, and you smile so big I can see every one of the fuckin’ teeth in your skull.”
“Joel—"
“Every time,” he interrupted firmly.
“I-“
“And I didn’t realise,” he whispered harshly. “How much I look for it – that I wait for it, I god damn expect it.”
“I’m sorry,” you murmured feebly, heat flashing through you. You gazed at the side of his tense face, stomach twisting at his words. You’d never known you did that. Never known he would notice if one day you didn’t.
“You’re sorry?” Joel scoffed. His hands gripped the wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. “You should be angry.”
You watched him with bated breath.
“First time I touched you in weeks, and I didn’t even make sure…,” he trailed off, teeth gnawing on his bottom lip. “Like you’re some fuckin’ toy.”
“It was good, Joel,” you spoke in a hushed tone, glancing over your shoulder at Ellie’s back. “I swear, I was just distracted, and it was dark, an-“
“It’s not good with me,” he said curtly, and you stopped, wetting your lips anxiously.
Before you could say anything else, a soft murmuring came from the backseat, as Ellie started to wake up once more. You cringed, straightening in your seat and returning your gaze to the road ahead.
“This isn’t over,” Joel said, voice rough. And when he turned his head to look at you, just for a second, you nodded in acknowledgement. A dark glint of determination shone in his eyes, and it sent a shiver down your spine.
A long, tense day passed by before Joel could get you alone again. You felt the frustration rolling off of him in waves. Those dark eyes watched you, uncaring of whether you noticed or not, his hands twitching towards you whenever you were close, aching to touch you, to repent. Without a chance to shower, you spent the entire day with a sticky reminder of the night before. You were uncomfortably wet, your own slick mixed with Joel’s come making a mess of your underwear, streaking down your thighs inside your trousers.
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It was late afternoon by the time he spotted a house in the distance, and when he pulled up outside of it, he ordered you and Ellie to stay in the car while he checked it out.
“I’m fucking exhausted,” she said from the backseat, as soon as Joel was out of earshot.
“Me too, kid,” you muttered, eyes on the front door until he reappeared, giving the all clear for you both to get out of the truck and go inside.
“There’s a few rooms,” he told you as you looked around the house, eyes drifting over the dusty furniture, bookshelves, dining table. “Two down here, one upstairs.”
“Shotgun upstairs,” Ellie said quickly, heading towards the staircase at the end of the hall.
“Are you hungry?” Joel called out to her back.
Ellie paused at the bottom of the stairs and gave him a look that said what do we even have to eat? But all she said was that she was gonna crash, and grumbled something about him never letting her get any sleep as she marched up the creaking steps.
“I think I’m gonna get some sleep as well,” you yawned, stretching your arm out against your chest. Joel’s eyes flashed to yours, and he huffed quietly.
“Is that right?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. You faltered, pulse quickening at the insinuation laced in his words.
“I—”
“First door on the right,” he motioned his head towards the hallway, and you followed him wordlessly towards the room.
It was small, cosy. Late afternoon light gleamed in through a north facing window, and the sun’s rays shone across a double bed in the middle of the room, and a bare side table. Silently, Joel stripped the sheets off the bed, leaving them in a pile on the floor before unzipping his sleeping bag and draping it across the mattress.
“You tired?”
You watched his hands as they spread the sleep bag out, flattening out any lumps in it. Thick, long fingers pressed against the material, and heat spread through your lower stomach.
“Yes,” you said honestly, and he nodded, tilting his head to look at you. You unzipped your jeans and discarded them on the floor before crawling onto the bed.
“How tired?” Joel queried, kicking his shoes off and joining you on the mattress. He rested back on his heels, hands splaying across your kneecaps as he gazed down at you.
You mmm’d from the back of your throat, wetting your lower lip. “Not too tired.”
The muscle in his jaw jumped as his eyes drifting across your body, down your bare thighs, to rest on the dark spot on the front of your panties. His fingers traced down your thighs, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake, until he gripped the hem of your underwear.
He pulled them down your legs, tantalisingly slow, and you watched with wide eyes as he lifted the ruined material up to his face. Maintaining eye contact, he held them over his mouth and nose, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look away as he inhaled deeply. Heat soared across your cheeks, and you would have been ashamed, if it weren’t for the way you could see him beginning to bulge against the zipper of his jeans, hot and hard for you.
“I want you,” you whispered brokenly. Joel dropped your underwear onto the bed beside your body.
“I know,” he gritted his teeth, sliding his palms down your inner thighs and prying them apart so he could settle in between them.
One hand raised to cup your face and you smiled, nuzzling your cheek into his palm. His thumb grazed your bottom lip in a silent request, and you parted them for him instantly, welcoming the digit into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around it, wetting it, and watched intensely as he lowered his hand down your body, and pressed the finger between your folds.
“Christ,” he cursed, mouth falling ajar as he felt you. “You been like this all day?”
“Yes, yes,” you whimpered.   
“Then I’m a fuckin’ monster,” he chuckled mirthlessly, staring between your legs with hooded eyes. “Left my best girl all worked up. God, darlin’, look at you; dripping wet for me, desperate for something to come on.”
“Please,” you exhaled sharply. “I need you, want your cock inside me so bad.”
He tutted quietly, shaking his head a little. “You think I deserve it?” his eyes flashed to yours, mouth downturned. “Think I deserve to be inside this pretty pussy, when I’ve been so mean to it?”
Your thighs tensed painfully as his finger started rubbing lightly against your bundle of nerves.
“Because I don’t,” he said ruefully. “Think I need to make it up to you first, what do you think, baby?”
“Okay,” you exhaled.
“And we aren’t finished unless you come,” he said darkly. “Do you understand?”
Your lips felt numb, tongue heavy in your mouth as you stared up at him through hooded eyes. Joel glared down at you, nostrils flared. “Say you understand.”
“I understand,” you finally mewled in frustration, twitching into the mattress as his thumb swiped over your pulsing clit. “F-fuck, Joel, please.”
His finger dragged between the swollen lips of your pussy, spreading you open so he could see your glistening core. He swore under his breath, the tip of his thumb gliding over your entrance where he could see remnants of his seed still easing out of you. His knees thudded against the old mattress as he dragged himself down the bed, and then his mouth was on you.
“Ohhh,” an exaggerated moan left your mouth, leaving your lips parted in an O shape as your head dropped back into the pillow. His tongue flattened to lick a stripe up your core, all the way from your entrance to above your clit and you shuddered into his mouth, crying out at the contact. His hands gripped your thighs and dragged them over his shoulders, pushing his face deeper into you.
Joel’s nose dragged across your clit as his tongue circled your entrance, and slurping noises filled the air as he cleaned the remnants of himself from your hole. You gasped, fire racing through your veins at the idea of him drinking down his own come, and your hips bucked off the bed. The tips of his fingers dug into your thighs in a silent warning to stay still. You clawed your nails into his scalp, raking through his messy hair, doing your best not to absolutely writhe against his face.
He groaned against you, pulling back momentarily to smirk up at you, your slick shining on his lips and beard. It was shameful, the way the noises he made went to your head. The deep, growling moans, the way his hums vibrated against you. You absorbed them and filed them away into your memory, somewhere only for you to ever see. Your hips framed his face, thighs bracketed over his shoulders as he gripped them, no doubt leaving bruises where his fingertips dug into your flesh.
Joel worked painstakingly slowly at first. His hot, long tongue glided along the entirety of you, and then he dipped it inside your weeping hole. Your eyes rolled back as he pumped his hot muscle in and out of you, until you were begging him to just please fuck me Joel please I’m sorry, but then he just sped up, moving upward to flick the tip of his tongue across your clit. You gasped, back arching off the bed as he swiped back and forth sharply, his lips suctioning around it as he abused your swollen clit.
And then one of his hands disappeared, and he eased a long, thick finger inside of you. He stroked along your walls, hooking his finger against your g-spot as you cried out his name, clenching around the digit. Encouraged by the response, he swiftly pushed a second finger inside, scissoring them and stretching you out as he sponged messy kisses against your clit.
Your mind was a blur. “Shit, Joel.”
Every single nerve, every point of feeling in your entire body, was directed to the apex of your thighs, and you trembled with the intensity of it. Every kiss, every lick, every suck was a reverent apology, a vow to never let it happen again. Joel was on his knees at the altar of his god, begging for forgiveness, and you were more than happy to grant it.
It felt like your chest was being ripped open as heavy breaths worked their way out of your burning lungs, heavy panting mixing in the air with the sounds of his tongue gliding through your wetness. Beads of sweat formed on your forehead, and you moaned roughly as he let his teeth skate ever so slightly over your clit.
His fingers pumped inside you, curling against the roof of your channel in a continuous motion as his tongue rolled against your nerves. It sent a familiar fire spreading through your abdomen, warming your entire chest, until you were gasping for air, jaw aching as it hung open, in awe of every point of contact he had with your body.
You clenched painfully tight, pussy squeezing around his fingers as his tongue swiped back and forth across your clit. Joel hummed in encouragement, mouth buzzing against you in a way that sent you careening towards the edge even faster. It seemed like every muscle in your body was tightening. Arms tensed awkwardly, one hand buried in his hair, the other twisted in the sheets beside you. Thighs pressed against the side of his head, stomach burning as he built you up and up and up and—
“Oh, oh my—fucking god,” you sobbed as your orgasm hit, and Joel braced you against the bed, working you through it. Pleasure rushed through you like an avalanche. Stars burst behind your eyelids, and you let go of everything that had ever existed in your world except for Joel. You lost yourself in him; in the glide of his tongue against your core, in the way your fingers twisted in his hair, in the rough scrape of his beard against your inner thighs. He was everywhere, everything.
In time, you were vaguely aware of him pulling back, of only the drag of his fingers inside you remaining, and you knew he must have been watching you, raking in the sight of you so exposed.
“There you go,” you could hear him saying, somewhere past the ringing in your ears. “Give it t’me. That’s it, look so pretty like this, all fucked out just for me.”
And when he dragged his fingers out of you, it was only to make room for his head to drop down once more to suck and lick at where your orgasm dripped out of you, moaning as he went, desperate not to miss a single drop.
Finally, after the final waves of your climax had settled, and your limbs dropped heavily against the bed, he kissed his way up your body, wet mouth leaving a shimmering trail along your skin until he reached your face and kissed you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.
He pulled back after a moment, and you breathed deeply, lost in the way the sunlight danced across the back of your eyelids. You weren’t aware of the corners of your mouth tilting upward, of your lips peeling back to reveal your teeth as you grinned brazenly, cool relief coursing through you.
“Look at that,” Joel’s voice brought you back down to earth, and you blinked heavily, trying to focus your bleary eyes on his face. His hair was messy, a dark rough halo around his head as the sunlight shone around him. One side of his mouth was pointed upward, a small smirk decorating his features. “There’s that smile.”
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ccsainzleclerc5516 · 5 months ago
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Mini You
Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x reader
Warnings: fluff, smut! and the overuse of the word “baby” I’m so sorry..
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Finally the time has come for the long-awaited family vacation, which was more than necessary for both Lewis and you and your little three-year-old girl, Harper.
Your responsibilities at work and motherly responsibilities at home could not always be coordinated with Lewis's racing, so you and the little girl often spent time alone away from Lewis. Neither you nor he liked it, he hated that he had to be away from you two so often and for so long because he felt like he was missing out on precious time with his family.
He often persuaded you to quit your job, so you can travel with him all the time so that you wouldn't be separated for a second. From the very beginning, he told you that as far as he was concerned, you didn't have to work a day, that he would always and forever take care of you and your family, and he promised that you would never lack for anything and you were well aware of that, but he also knew that your job meant much more to you than just “a job” and that it is something that fulfills you as well as his career fulfills him.
That's why he never took moments like these when the three of you were together, especially longer than just 2 weeks, for granted. He enjoyed every second next to you and Harper.
He always tried to find the best places to spend a family vacation with you, and that was the case this time as well.
Since Lewis was away on business, he sent a private jet to pick you two up and take you to the south of Italy. Since you hadn't seen him in over 10 days, you and Harper were very excited to wait for him at the beautiful luxury beach villa that Lewis had rented just for you for the next three weeks.
“My daddy, it’s my daddy!” Harper exclaimed happily running into Lewis' arms as he entered the mansion.
“My little princess” Lewis’ smile grew from ear to ear as he picked her up and she wrapped her tiny arms around his neck. “I missed you so so much” He said showering her with kisses and your heart melted at the sight.
“Hello handsome” You greeted him as he pulled you into a hug as well.
“Hey, baby. How was the trip?” He asked pressing a kiss to your lips.
“Everything went well, Harper couldn't sleep at all from the excitement. She kept telling me about how you were going to teach her how to swim.” You say pinching her cheek making Lewis chuckle.
“Will you daddy? Will you teach me how to swim?” Harper asked.
“Of course, love” He smiled kissing her cheek.
“Can we go right now?”
“We can, baby. Go put your swimsuit on and we can go swimming”
Her eyes lit up as she clapped her hands. Lewis put her down and she ran into the room to find her bathing suit. Then he turned to you pulling you to himself and giving you a proper kiss.
“I missed you” He murmured against your lips as his hands found your waist pulling you as close as possible to him.
“I missed you too, Lew”
“I can't wait to fall asleep next to you tonight. That's all I could think about for the past few days.” He admitted kissing your neck gently as you smiled tilting your head to the side.
“Mommy, I can’t find it!!” Harper yelled from the room in frustration interrupting your moment making both of you chuckle.
“I'm going to help Miss Impatient” You sighed rolling your eyes before heading towards her. “I’m coming, baby!”
Later that day, you sat on a towel on the beach while Lewis taught Harper how to swim as he had promised. She was both excited and terrified at the same time, and Lewis loved teaching her new things.
“Daddy, please, please don’t let go of me” She said in short breaths. He held her in his arms above the water teaching her how to stay afloat.
“Baby, I would never let go of you, you can trust me okay?” He assured her. “Now keep your head above water and work with your legs” He instructed.
“Daddy..” She struggled a bit, but she wasn’t giving up. Harper was a mini version of you. She looked exactly like you, from your nose, mouth, eyes, even the color of your hair, she was a real little copy of you, but her behavior, her persistence and perseverance was all Lewis.
“C’mon, baby, you can do it. Daddy’s got you. You’re doing so good.” He encouraged her. He was always so proud of her. He admired the fact that, just like him, she enjoyed learning new things, that she was interested in everything, always so curious and ready for new adventures.
After a swimming lesson, the two of them moved to the sand next to you and started building a castle for the princesses, of course.
You didn't help build the sandcastle because you wanted to soak up some sun and enjoy the view of your husband and your daughter playing together and talking about everything Harper wanted to talk about.
“Can we get a real castle, daddy?”
“You mean for your dolls?” He asked.
“Yeah, for my dolls, for princesses, they need a castle”
“Baby, you’ve got at least three doll castles at home that I jump over every day because you leave them all over the house.” You inserted yourself into the conversation.
“Yeah, but, but they’re all small..I would like a bigger one” She explained. “Can we get a big castle, daddy? It’s not for me, it’s for my dolls. Please?”
“Of course, baby” Lewis laughed and you joined in shaking your head at the fact that she had him wrapped around her finger at just 3 years old.
“I'll buy you as many doll castles as you want, we'll fill the whole house with them, love” Lewis promised kissing her head.
You watched as he kept wiping the sand away from her chubby cheeks every time she pushed her hair out of her face only to put even more sand on her face. You softened and felt warmth around your heart at his gestures.
“I love the way you love her” You said softly when he took a break from building the castle and moved to sit next to you.
“She has her own princesses, and she’s mine” He said watching her with an immense amount of love in his eyes.
“I remember when you used to call me that”
“You are too, baby, you’ll always be. My first one.” He assured you kissing the tip of your nose.
“You know, while I was watching you play with her, I remembered the pictures that your mom showed me of you when you were little.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, you were the cutest little kid ever. Makes me want a mini version of you this time.” You whispered the second part glancing at his lips.
He smirked pulling you to him and kissing your temple before whispering into your ear “I’ll keep that in mind tonight.”
After a whole day spent at the beach, evening came. You had dinner together and then Lewis went to put Harper to sleep while you cleaned the table.
While Lewis read Harper a bedtime story, you went to the bathroom in your bedroom and took a shower. You enjoyed the feeling of the cold water hitting your burning hot skin. It felt like a relief after being in the sun all day.
When you finished your shower, you wrapped a towel around your body and went out on the balcony admiring the beautiful night lights of the coast of Italy. Not long after, you felt Lewis' body pressed against you.
“Did she fall asleep?” You asked.
“Mhm” He murmured against the skin of your neck leaving wet kisses all over with his tongue. You moaned a little bringing one of your hands up to his braids while your other hand gripped the glass balcony railing. “Thought I could grant your wish tonight” He said into your ear while his fingers pulled the towel down revealing your naked body.
“What wish?” You smirked playing dumb wanting to hear him say it.
“The one where I fill you up and put my baby in you.” Your eyes instantly closed and thighs clenched hearing it from his mouth. You arched your back as he grinded himself against your ass pressing your bare body against the cold transparent glass.
“Lew..”
“Would you like that?” He whispered. “Would you like me to fuck you here on the balcony? To cum inside you?”
“Yes..uh, yes baby. Do it.”
Without breaking the kiss, he turned you towards him and pulled his shorts down freeing his fully hard member. He slid his hand down your belly to your aching bud making you whimper and hold onto him.
You couldn’t resist but grab him in your hand, you wanted to get down on your knees for him, but Lewis stopped you from doing so.
“Wait, wait, baby, we have time. Wanna get you ready for me, it’s been a while, yeah?” He said rubbing your cheek with his thumb while his other hand kept rubbing over your pussy.
There wasn't any need to prepare you because you were so ready. You craved him, you were already dripping wet just by his voice let alone touch, but you decided to completely surrender to him and let him do whatever he wanted to you.
“You remember when I called you on facetime two nights ago, but you didn’t pick up because you fell asleep?” He asked quietly while his fingertips danced around your entrance playing with your wetness. “You remember?” He asked and you nodded remembering that you saw his missed call the next morning.
“You know why I was calling you so late?”
“Why?”
“Because I was so horny, I wanted you to help me get off” You moaned at his confession throwing your head back as two of his fingers slipped inside you.
“You remember when you let me film you that one time? When you were gagging around my cock. Fuck baby, I go crazy every time I watch that.” He groans as he pushes his cock against your belly encouraging you to take it in your hand while he continues pumping his fingers in and out of you.
“You still watch that?” You asked blushing a little as you wrapped both of your hands around his cock.
“Sometimes yeah. When I’m away and I miss your touch too much.” He admitted hissing as you ran your thumb over his red tip.
“Last time I watched it, I got so hard, I came all over myself before I even got to touch myself”
“Fuck, Lew” You were struggling to focus on pleasuring him as well because the things he was saying while increasing his pace in fingering you almost instantly sent you over the edge.
“You love to gag around me don’t you? When I push your head on my cock-fuck-you get so wet when I fuck your throat. When I..fuck..when I cum inside your mouth too oh, baby” He groaned pushing you harder against the glass.
“When you swallow my cum and I wipe the corners of your mouth with my thumb and you suck on it to lick it clean. That gets me so fucking hard all over again.”
“Fuck, Lew I’m gonna cum” You whimpered letting your head fall against his chest.
“Wait, baby, hold it just a little bit longer.” He said pulling his fingers out of you only to start rubbing your clit.
“My baby is so wet. I know you loved to hear that I came to the sight of you without even touching myself. You love when I cum fast, it boosts your ego doesn’t it? Because you know what you do to me, you know that you have me wrapped around your finger you love that shit don’t you.” You couldn't bring yourself to say anything. You were a whimpering mess begging him to let you cum on his fingers.
“Don’t close your eyes, baby, look at me”
“I can’t..Lewis, please” You pleaded.
“You think you’re ready to take my cock?” He asked and you nodded. “Cum, baby, cum all over my hand” And you did, instantly. Your legs started to shake as you fell apart in his arms. He held you tightly pressing your body against his and kissiny your head until your breathing went back to normal again.
“You okay, hm?” He asked making you look up at him. You didn’t say anything but kissed his lips pulling his bottom lip down with your teeth.
“Put your baby in me, Lew”
“Fuck” He abruptly turned you around and bent you over the glass. He spanked both of your cheeks before taking his cock and collecting your cum with his tip. He didn’t tease you for too long because it was torture for him too. All he wanted was to bury himself deep inside you and feel your deepest parts.
He groaned as he slid inside holding his hands on your hips pushing you as deep as it went until you winced.
“You feel so good around me, shiit” He praised you thrusting in and out of you. His grunts and groan along with slapping of your skin filled your ears and it was the hottest thing ever.
He wanted to feel you even closer to him so he pulled you up so that your back was leaned against his chest while his one arm was wrapped around your waist and the other around your neck.
“I’m gonna cum in you baby, I’m gonna cum” He whined quietly in your ear before spilling his cum inside of you. You moaned at the sensation as he buried his head into the crook of your neck groaning as his orgasm coursed through his body. Drops of sweat formed on his forehead as both of you struggled to catch your breath.
“Do you think we did it?”
“I think I got pregnant when you told me what happened the last time you watched that video of me.” You smirked making him laugh and lean his forehead against yours.
“I’ll stay like this for a minute or two just so, you know, it sticks.”
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propertyofwicked · 8 months ago
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HOMESICK - LN
content warnings: just fluff really, mentions of anxiety, being far from family
2.4k words - lemme know if u want a pt2 for this one :)
masterlist
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y/n hated new places, she hated change, and most of all she hated being away from home. y/n knew she would eventually feel a sense of comfort and familiarity in woking, but for now, her blood ran hot, and an icy sweat took over her body, her eyes tearful even though she couldn’t pin point why she felt so upset. the flat was silent, and yet deafening, every whistle of wind or creak of a floorboard serving as her constant reminder - you are alone, your are miles away from your family, everything is unfamiliar.
she found herself constantly shaking her head, trying to knock some sense into herself
you’ve done this before, you went to university even further from your family, you did this for 3 years, you can do it again. you are a grown woman now sort yourself out.
her thoughts battled loudly with each other, one side of her brain logical, the other trying to sabotage her.
it just didn’t make sense - she travelled across the world almost weekly, filming and editing content for the mclaren social media pages, working closely with the drivers, engineers and management and never once felt overwhelmed with the distance from home comforts. she supposed being constantly on the move, keeping her mind and body occupied with her work boded well in distracting her from feeling homesick. the close bond she’d formed with everyone in the garages probably aided her even further, provided her with a new sense of family away from home.
but for now, she sat cross legged on her desk chair, arms resting on the table, her head balancing precariously in her hands, deep in sleep. y/n had arrived at the offices at 10pm, unable to sleep in her empty flat, the feeling of constant nausea and upset overbearing, and deciding that being productive was a much better use of her time - a great distraction from her loneliness. she hadn’t intended to fall asleep, especially not in a position that put so much strain on her back, and yet here she was.
3am in the mclaren offices and all that could be heard was heavy, exhausted breathing and the soft whir of a computer fan that ran idly in the background.
this is something that lando found peculiar - who was sleeping in the office? and why were they sleeping here? he thought to himself as he and oscar snuck into the building from the side door.
as they rounded the corner, oscar’s mouth opened, starting to ask the same thing lando had been questioning, but was cut off by lando’s finger raising to his own lips, shushing the younger man before pointing to y/n’s desk, her head now resting on the table cheek smushing her forgotten glasses further into her face uncomfortably.
the two of them, stared at the girl before moving to look back at each other, a mix of confusion and amusement glossing their faces.
“wh- why is she here?” he asked, out of pure concern for the girl.
“i don’t know oscar, we walked in at the same time?” lando responds, taking long but quiet steps to stand behind her chair.
“didn’t she just get a new flat near here? why wouldn’t she go home?” oscar asked again, mindlessly, knowing that lando was also bewildered to the sight in front of them. the older man simply shrugged in response, moving to rest a hand on the sleeping girl’s shoulder, bending slightly till he was level with her face.
“y/n? y/n?” he asked her softly, moving her shoulder gently in his hand as to not startle her, “you need to wake up, darlin’, can’t sleep here,” he adds, noting her breathing change as she came back to reality.
“lando?” she asked, startled, despite his best efforts, “what are you doing here it’s like -” she wiggled the mouse on her computer to bring up the home screen, “3am?”
“what are you doing here at 3am? not to mention, fast asleep at your desk,” he retorts, standing back and crossing his arms over his chest. she finally clocks oscar stood awkwardly behind him, sending him a quick smile, before leaning back in her chair, looking at lando again.
“i asked first.”
“we’re breaking in to decorate zach’s office for his birthday,” he says as though it was obvious, laughing slightly at the thought of the hello kitty balloons stuffed into the bag oscar held behind his back, “now, what are you doing here?”
“working,” she replied, offering no more to her story.
“with your eyes closed? drooling on your desk? i don’t think so.”
“i was not drooling,” she argues, confident in her words despite the back of her hand moving to wipe her mouth just in case.
“you we-”
“didn’t you just move in to a new flat y/n?” oscar asks, interrupting what he was sure would be an entertaining round of bickering between the two.
“i did,” she says with a nod, “i just got so caught up in my work. didn’t realise what the time was,” she adds, dodging the subject of her empty flat. the flat so empty of life, but so full of overwhelming silence and dread, and yet she found solace in the silence of the mclaren offices.
“do you want a ride home?” lando asked, sensing there was more to the story, but leaving the can unopened, for now.
she shook her head, breathing out a long sigh as she did.
“no thanks, i might just stay here till the work day starts,” she adds, her hand rubbing her eyes slightly, feeling the exhaustion still looming in her brain.
“are you sure?” oscar asked, concern rising in his voice again.
“yep,” y/n replied, the ‘p’ exaggerated.
the boys looked at each other, a silent exchange of words between the team mates as they moved in the direction of zach’s office once again.
“we’ll come check in with you before we leave, yeah?” lando added, before turning on his heel and following oscar down the long hallway. she nodded even though they couldn’t see her, before pulling the hood of her jumper over her hair, and letting her head fall back onto the desk, using her arms as makeshift pillows.
it was nearing 4am when the two returned, once again guided down the hallway by the sound of y/n’s heavy breathing. they stopped just before they could see her, turning to each other.
“we gotta get her home. her back is gonna be ruined if she keeps sleeping like that,” oscar says, keeping his voice low.
“i know - she still hasn’t forgiven jon for letting her sleep curled up under a table a year ago. spent the whole week complaining about her spine aching,” lando replied, smiling softly at the memory of her trying to bend herself backwards over a chair to ‘reset’ her back, as she had claimed.
“how do we get her to leave? willingly? without the kicking and screaming?” lando asked after a moment of silence, the boys plotting their next moves.
“you’ll think of something, im sure. she’ll never say no to you,” oscar replies, his hands moving to grip his car keys in the pockets of his joggers.
“what do you mean? ill think of something? you’re not leaving me to deal with her on my own, are you?” lando asked, suddenly doubting his abilities to contend with the strong willed woman asleep not 3 metres away from them.
“i left lily sleeping 2 hours ago, and i don’t feel like explaining this,” he says, pointing at the room in general, “when she wakes up and realises im not there,” he finishes with a shrug.
“fine,” lando says with a huff, “wish me luck.”
“good luck. lemme know how she gets on,” the australian replies, walking away from lando slowly, but glancing into the office space to check on y/n one last time.
lando sighed again, before sauntering back into the room he had left her in an hour ago. he moved to crouch next to her again, his fingers moving to pull her hood back, tucking her hair out of her face as he did. she looked so peaceful like this, her eyes twitching slightly under the pressure of sleep, a lose strand of hair blowing with every exhale. he didn’t want to wake her, but there was no other option unless he wheeled her out on the chair she sat on.
“angel? y/n?” he paused, grimacing slightly at his slip up, “it’s time to go,” he said softly, stroking her arm gently. he hoped she was too sleepy to notice the pet name.
“go where?” she mumbled, in her half-asleep state, eyes opening to look at him.
“home, y/n. need to get you in a proper bed.”
“no, im fine here,” she said, quickly defending her choice of sleeping position, “you go, ill see you later.”
“nuh-uh,” he tutted, standing in front of her to grip both her arms, dragging her up from the chair, “you are going to go home and sleep in a proper bed.”
“i don’t have my car and there’s no buses at this time.”
“ill drive you home.”
“it’s out of your way, you’d be wasting a journey.”
“don’t care. you’re getting in my car and im taking you home,” he argued back, finalising the argument she knew she wouldn’t win.
“fine,” she huffed, still clawing for the last word even if she had lost the battle.
soon, they were stood in the car park, lando stepping to the side to pull the passenger door open, a hand firmly on her back pushing her into the car. she wanted to argue that she was fully capable of getting in the car on her own, but the pure exhaustion took over as she adjusted the seat to her comfort, clicking her belt in as lando started the engine.
the car was silent, asides from the fans that pushed warm air into the vehicle and the low humming of the engine. he tried his best to take the roads slow, especially as he neared her flat, fearing waking up the neighbourhood with the growling of his car when he accelerated.
“what’s the real reason you didn’t wanna go home?” he asked, arm coming to rest at his side.
“i told you, i didn’t realise what time it was,” she said, refusing to let her lie catch up with her.
“bullshit.”
“what?”
“i said, bullshit. that’s not the real reason.”
“im homesick,” she spat out, “ok? im an adult woman who can’t handle the prospect of being home alone, 200 miles away from her family. happy now?”
“happ- why would i be happy about that?” he asked, his tone softer than his previous outburst. they were now pulling into her apartment building, y/n still neglecting to answer him until the car pulled to a complete stop.
“you wanna come in, for a bit?” she asked, biting her tongue.
“do you want me to come in?”
“yeah, if you want to. only for a bit,” she said again.
“ok,” his response was simple, he didn’t really need to think it through. he glanced down at his watch, 5:15am, and yet, he could not feel more awake. he didn’t mind staying, especially if it gave her the comfort to move freely in her own home.
walking into her flat felt oddly natural to him, despite him having never been there. the two could be considered close friends, not that either of them would acknowledge it, but spending years working closely together, travelling around the world, tends to do that. they’d started working at mclaren at similar times, him as a driver and her as a content creator for the brand, the new job nerves acting as almost a trauma bond between the two. they’d spent many nights in each others hotel rooms, playing games, watching films, often with oscar in tow - anything to pass the time in between races - but the two had never crossed the personal boundary into each others homes.
and yet, lando strolled in, took his shoes off by the door, and threw himself down on the sofa as if this was a daily thing. y/n dropped herself down next to him, sighing as she did.
“you need to sleep,” he said, turning to look at her, his arm thrown over the back of the sofa where she sat.
“my brain is too awake now,” she said, voice never faltering despite her stomach turning as she realises how close they were sat, the way his warmth surrounded her as his fingers tapped a steady rhythm on the seat behind her head.
“you wanna watch something till you settle again?” he asked, tv remote already in hand.
“sounds good,” she replied, tight lipped, eyes focusing as he scrolled through her netflix, settling on a film she didn’t care to remember the name of.
before the opening credits had even started, y/n body slumped against lando’s, head dropping to rest below his shoulder. he tensed slightly, relaxing again when he looked down to see her eyes closed, chest heaving deep breathes once again. his arm resting on the sofa dropped behind her back, his hand moving to hold her waist gently, fingers drawing light circles on the fabric of her leggings.
a while later, he moved his hips slightly, trying to re adjust his position to stop his legs going dead. he feared he had woken her, when she mumbled something incoherent and began moving. lando allowed himself to let out a shaky breath as she twisted herself into his side, her arm moving to wrap around his waist, her leg bending upwards to rest on top of his.
he waited a moment, as if to check she was really sleeping, before leaning down to press a soft kiss to the top of her head.
“goodnight, angel,” he whispered.
lando told himself he’d leave when the film ended. in his silence he planned how to move from the sofa without waking her. but then his eyes grew tired, and he told himself he’d shut them, just for a moment.
the two of them lay on the sofa, fast asleep. his posture had sloped in his slumber, shifting their bodies into a recline, his arms wrapped tightly around her and she settled onto his chest. their legs entwined with each other, a blanket lando had attempted to wrap around her had fallen haphazardly to the floor.
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writteninlunarlight-years · 7 months ago
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Can I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, and Halsin being jealous of some guy is flirting with their female s/o although she's oblivious that he's flirting with her? He's so possessive that he even took her back home to have a heated make-out while holding her close!
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Astarion
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ThE pLaN wAs SiMpLe. All jokes about Astarions' cut scene aside, he simply tried not to like you.
He tried not to notice your smile, laugh, or radiant personality that felt like the sun.
He fell, though, and you were everything to him, but he was afraid to lose you. To push you too far, you to abandon him like all others.
He tried oh so hard not to think about how that tieflings stupid tail was getting dangerously close to you.
You were so naive and unique, so headstrong but so so clueless. How could you spot an ambush a yard away but couldn't tell this creature was hitting on you.
Astarion chose the safe route of just sitting there and watching like always.
A burning fire lit within him, the usual cold tempered vampire became lit with something. Jealousy? No, it couldn't be.
Then that damn tail wrapped around your leg; why, just why couldn't you be simple? Why couldn't he just not care who you sleep with?
Before he knew it, he stood before you, the tiefling behind him. Why?
He turned on his charm, and before he knew it, he was wooing the Tiefling, convincing him to go on his married way in hopes of bedding another.
Astarion looked at you as the tiefling left, and the fear of losing something so good ate at him. Gripping your arm, he took off as quickly as a fox through the forest you close behind.
Once safely away from prying eyes where he could be vulnerable, show you how much he cared and how scared he was of losing you, and he kissed you deeply.
You two had bedded in the forest many times before, but today, your connection was so passionately different.
Gale
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Gale liked to imagine he was a simple man who didn't need much, especially after all that happened with Mystra.
That was until you came along, with your well everything; Gale couldn't find anything to hate about you.
The fear of messing up again and entering a new world of troubles ate him alive—almost as bad as the orb resting in his heart.
That's why anyone getting close to you, even a fraction of romance hinted or thrown your way, killed him.
He knew his place, though. Trying to woo a woman got him into the mess he is in now, so he just stood by and watched as people flirted with you.
Every instance though filled him up like a bottle, soon the pressure was going to explode but he didn't know how to inform you of this.
That night at Sharess Caress, though, when the twins propositioned you, the bottle overflowed.
Gale couldn't handle the pressure building or how you just laughed at the twins even though he could tell you were uncomfortable by their touch.
Before he knew it, he pulled you into him and used his ability to travel the astral plane to escape.
You were his and his alone to look at, adore, and love. No outside force or group could take you. Here, he ravaged you all night and early in the morning.
From that day on, Gale never hesitated to steal you away to his private hiding place to show you his more jealous side.
Halsin
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Halsin was one with nature, so sharing with you wasn't horrible.
He knew that people would come and go, but he would be your one rock, always present and always there.
That made this evening at camp so much more confusing for him.
Halsin knew the wizard, vampire, and legend were all seeking your companionship, especially since they all brought it up to him before this month.
However, watching them flirt with you repeatedly, you just accepting the advances and taunts ate at him a little.
Halsin tried to go on nature walks, work with the land, and even speak to the great oak father about this; however, he turned up blank.
Tonight at camp was exceptionally hard. Though you had turned down Wyll and Gale, you never quite turned down Astarion. Halsin didn't know why this tore him up.
As the vampire asked you to take your life force once again, Halsin grew irate. You were simply too oblivious to realize this was an addictive habit, so you always stayed by the cold man's side.
Anger consumed him, and Halsin went to your side. Grabbing your hand and dragging you along, Halsin allowed nature to take its course.
Once you two stopped in the middle of a clearing, Halsin sighed. "Oak father's blessing, I know I always said nature can take its course, but Petal, I do not think I can stand this any longer. Let's just stay us, me, you, and no one else."
Once his profession came to light and you agreed, no questions asked, Halsin couldn't wait to enjoy the combination of you two as one. Oak Father's blessing on you both.
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eloquent-edits · 9 months ago
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🗡️ You give so much to others
It’s time someone gave back to you 🗡️ acts of service and fluff prompts
Character A hates washing the dishes and Character B hates cooking, so they do those things for each other
“You don’t have to do anything to pay me back. Your happiness is more than enough.”
A is going through a major depressive episode and B comes by to help clean their room and give them company
B sets up candles, a warm bath, and dim lighting for A to relax in after a stressful work event
B carpools with A a lot. They notice the gas tank is running low and plant a $20 bill in the console for A to find later (B vehemently denies ever putting it there, but A absolutely knows)
A is sick and B goes out of their way to grab medicine and extra tissues to drop off at A’s doorstep
After A ends up in the hospital, B makes sure A’s place stays clean, their pets are fed and taken care of, and that A will have nothing to worry about when they are well again
B automatically sets aside a larger portion for A’s meals because they know that A will be hungrier than they expect
A is sensitive to light and B buys blackout curtains for their room so they can sleep better
“I’ll handle this! You go have fun, I’ll be there in a second.”
B will always pick A up after they travel internationally for work so A can sleep and recover from jet lag
B covers the corner of sharp tables for A (listen it’s just THE SWEETEST thing I’ve seen done for someone ack)
A is busy putting on makeup, so B gently detangles and does their hair (and it’s not as simple as just putting their hair into a ponytail, I’m talking weaves and braids and intricate designs that show B paid attention to this)
“Let me take care of it.”
A complains about their back or neck pain so B gives them a massage (mainly to stop their complaining LOL)
B will occasionally take A’s bath towel while A showers and run it through the dryer so it’s nice and warm when A gets out
A is anxious about finances (they just got a new job) and B helps them work through it and understand all the confusing things
A’s new apartment is not on the first floor and the elevator is out of order, so B moves the big furniture for A up all those flights of stairs
Chronic pain makes it difficult for A to leave the house sometimes, but B makes sure they never run out of medication by picking up A’s prescriptions
“You really didn’t have to do that for me.” “Well, I wanted to. Now you don’t have to do it!”
812 notes · View notes
foreingersgod · 1 month ago
Note
babes ur writing is so good , can you write something where the reader is going to indiana with caitlin but is nervous that cait will forget about her ???
*i think i interpreted this wrong so i’m so sorry lmao
Champagne Coast . CC
pairing: caitlin clark x reader
synopsis: request ^
A/N: y’all i’m so sorry for how long this took me!! and i feel like my writing has really deteriorated so please give me feedback and let me know if you like it or totally hate it lmao, thanks for your patience!!
also sorry i had to use YN like ONCE !!
wc: 10.6k
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Finishing eight or nine?
Tell me, what's the perfect time?
your bowl had been placed in the dishwasher long ago, countertop cleaned and leftovers placed in the nearly empty fridge. dinner was growing cold and you hadn’t cared to wait, opting to eat alone yet again before residing in the living room. the tv played in the background with some arbitrary doctors show from the 90s as you sat patiently watching the clock. the hands were beginning to collect dust, you noticed, though it had only been up for a few months upon your move to indiana. each tick seems to mock you the more time dragged on.
she was supposed to be home long ago. practice would have been done at 8 or 9 and it was now approaching 11. this is what it always was, waiting up for her well into the night when the street lamps turned on and the sky grew dark. and you’d wait up like you always did as you were unable to sleep without her. especially in this new home, new bed, new sheets, new life. it never quite bothered you that caitlin would show up late every once and awhile, but it had started to become a habit, and you were left cold and alone. pestering her about being home at a certain time wasn’t fair to her by any means, knowing that she was just going and getting to know her team some more. but recently it felt like you were navigating this milestone in your life by yourself-your girlfriend hardly around to comfort your racing mind.
when caitlin had been drafted, you knew immediately in your heart that it was going to be rough. change was something of a challenge for you and it terrified you more than anything. you recalled sitting at that table, hearing her name announced and the deafening cheers, thinking about how excited you were for her. and even though you were thrilled for her, you couldn’t help but think about how your perfect world was going to slowly crumble. caitlin insisted that things wouldn’t fall apart, just adjust for the future you were going to build together. but now you were here, in this house-not home-trying to convince yourself that all of it was true.
suddenly, you were pulled from your period of musing when the lock of the front door clicked. it was followed by the faint creaking of hinges, old brass from the 70s, your land lord had claimed. you thought she was full of shit. weary eyes traveled to the opening door to see a very tired caitlin walking in. her hair was tousled, post practice shirt just slightly wrinkled, the slightest bags under her eyes that she insisted weren’t there. she was struggling with the move just as much as you, though she’s never admit it.
“hey,” you uttered just enough to be heard over the television. feelings of your isolation had begun to dissipate the moment you saw your girl, relief running through your veins “you’re home”
“yea” she cleared her throat as she let her bag fall to the floor. the squeak of her shoes echoed against the walls when she toed them off, eventually setting them on the rack beside the door. there was an uneasiness laced in her voice you had picked up on. she didn’t seem angry nor irritated, but she was far from her usual self when she was home. she’d typically be thrilled to see you, ready to be in your arms again and let the stress from the day wash off. you were the first thing she’d looked for when she stepped across the threshold. but tonight, her eyes were hesitant to find yours.
“are you alright?” you watched as she shuffled into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, skipping over the leftovers that you had considerately set aside just for her. her favorite meal dished into the nicest tupperware you owned. her slim figure leaned against the cool marble countertop, taking a swig of the water “you seem a bit…off”
“just tired” she glanced at you, locking eyes for what felt like the first time since she’d been home. a weak smile made its way onto her lips as she studied your position on the couch. you couldn’t lie, she did look tired, but part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that had been consuming you for months. the distance that basketball had created made it feel like you and caitlin were living separate lives, when really, this should be something you tackled together. you couldn’t blame her for any of it even if you wanted to, just hoping that things would go back to the way they were.
you wished she were home more, that her presence would provide you some sort of reassurance. maybe just to convince you that you weren’t going insane, liked you were trapped within these walls for a reason other than her career. it had been a while since you felt like you were living a life that didn’t solely revolve around caitlin’s.
“okay” you smiled back bitterly without pressing any further. any energy you had for a conversation like that had left your body hours ago. reaching for the remote and lifting yourself off the couch, you motioned to the stairwell. considering she didn’t even acknowledge the food, you assumed settling down for the night was what you both needed “ready for bed?”
she blinked rapidly, kissing her teeth silently when she noticed the annoyance in your voice. guilt consumed her as she saw the look on your face, the twinge of desire lost from your eyes.
“mhm” she hummed in agreement as she followed you upstairs to the bedroom.
maybe you both just needed some sleep, caitlin thought. neither of you were mad nor cross with each other, but you’d be fools if you didn’t sense the tension in the air. things had been different for quite some time now, all of it too confusing to address, leaving you to wallow in the awkwardness for days now. but if there was any time, any place, where all that was left at the door? it would be here with each other in bed. it was something of a safe haven, nothing else mattered when you left your worries at the door and held each other tightly.
like clockwork, you stripped of your typical daywear down to your lace panties and one of caits t-shirts. it had a worn down high school logo on it, the design fading from the countless times it had been through the wash. she, likewise, pulled her sweaty gym shirt off her body to replace it with one from her closet. you crawled under the covers whilst you took off your earrings, setting them on the small tray on your nightstand-something you picked out at target when you and caitlin went decor shopping for the new apartment. you had barely noticed caitlin also climbing into bed as the memory of that day overtook you. no words were exchanged as you both settled into the sheets, pulling the thick duvet over your shoulders and finally letting your muscles relax. it was only when a pair of burley arms wrapped around your waist, a familiar nose prodding against your collarbone, did the silence break.
“love you” caitlin whispered, breath warm on your skin “m’sorry i was late tonight and that i missed dinner. i’ll make it up to you”
“s’ok cait,” you murmured, sleep tugging at your eyelids. you brought a hand up to her head as you raked your fingers through her hair, she always loved it when you did “i love you too”
it mattered not what she did to make it up to you. she could do anything in the world, buy you countless gifts, take you on a million trips, but it wouldn’t change the one thing your heart desired for.
her.
I told you I'll be waiting
Hiding from the rainfall
trying to navigate to the locker room was a difficult task, having to push past the cheering crowds in a stadium you weren’t familiar with. you were surrounded by a blur of seattle’s green and yellow jerseys as you looked for any sort of path to follow. indiana had just taken quite the loss against the storm and you knew, the second you heard the buzzer sound, that you needed to find caitlin as soon as possible. eventually, you found where you needed to be and beelined for the locker room, hoping she hadn’t already gone looking for you.
the large metal doors stood tall in front of you when you arrived at the locker room entrance. the shift from the excitement out on the stadium floor to this quiet displeasure was staggering and you weren’t even inside yet. whatever you were about to be faced with would break your heart, you could already see it now. you pictured caitlin sitting down, head in her hands as she tapped her foot anxiously and made her best attempt to hold back her tears. she had been struggling with everything recently-the move, the new team, the continuous losses-it was slowly chipping away at her.
however, after pushing the doors open and stepping inside, it was quite the opposite from what you expected. the doors clicked shut behind you, causing the noise to reverberate around the desolate room as you took in the sight before you. and just as you imagined, your heart slowly began to twinge. caitlin sat there on the bench alone, head leaned against her locker as her chest heaved up and down. tears cascaded down her face and her lip quivered the more she sobbed. wispy strands of hair stuck to her forehead from all the sweat and her hands clutched the sides of her head in frustration. you had never seen her in such a state. caitlin was typically reserved, even with you, not wanting to be open and vulnerable. but here you were, seeing her with all of her guards down.
“caitlin” you breathed, immediately rushing over to her. you fell to your knees, body slotting between her thighs. shaky hands came to rest on her legs hesitantly as to not make matters worse “hey, hey what’s going on baby?”
she made a weak attempt at looking at you, tears blurring her vision. a hiccup escaped her chapped lips when she felt your soothing touch on her clammy skin. caitlin couldn’t even manage the words, thoughts lost in her own mind, only tangling more as she continued her cries. she managed to push herself off the locker, letting herself collapse into you as she shook her head. something to signal her unwillingness to talk. her large arms and heavy torso clashed against you as you enveloped her into a hug. warm tears dropped onto your shoulder as she pressed her cheek into your clavicle, creating a damp spot on your indiana fever t-shirt.
“shhh, i know you’re upset,” you rubbed circles onto her back, palm running across the fabric of her jersey “but i need you to talk to me, i can’t make it better if you won’t tell me”
“i just-” she croaked, voice wavering “i feel like…like a failure”
your body went stiff, the movements of your hand stopping momentarily. you hoisted her back up to face her in disbelief. the confession had taken you aback-not that caitlin had been anything but humble, but she knew how amazing she was, of her immense impact on the sport. to hear that word tumble from her lips, masked by a series of desperate whimpers, was enough to break you.
“caitlin,” you dragged on, feeling yourself at a loss for words. everyone thought so highly of your girl and it crushed you to hear her say those words “you are so far from that”
you watched her throat bob as she swallowed harshly. she tugged at the bottom of her jersey, bringing it up to her face to wipe some of the sweat away. in reality it was just an excuse to hide her blood shot eyes. another shake took possession of caitlin’s head to deny your statement.
“yea well my performance begs to differ”
“one bad game isn’t-”
“it’s not just one game” she cut you off before you could even begin to disagree. she had stopped crying by now, intense emotions now overtaken by aggravation “it’s several games. i keep fucking up. missing shots, turning over the ball-shit”
her rambles trailed off in a rampage of huffs and groans, her breath hot as she breathed angrily out of nose. she was always too hard on herself, lost in the heat of the moment and not giving herself any grace for all the hard work she’s put in thus far. it was a topic that began to consume your daily life. caitlin couldn’t seem to shake off the struggles of the day, in turn bringing them home where they became your baggage as well. of course you didn’t mind being there for your girl-hell, you’d do anything for her no matter what-but it was all starting to get exhausting.
you hated that you had these thoughts in the first place, feeling like a bad partner because you couldn’t bare the repetition of these conversations. time after time after time again you’d beat yourself up over it. caitlin deserved the world and more, but you deserved that just as much and these restless nights weren’t providing that. you didn’t even know what to say anymore, torn between how you wanted to proceed.
“there’s a lot on your plate,” you reassured, getting off your knees and taking a seat next to her on the bench. caitlin’s head automatically went to your shoulder as you took one of her hands in yours “you’re just starting out…don’t be so hard yourself. i know it’s rough, but you’re doing what you can and that’s what makes you so amazing. give yourself some grace, babe”
“i know but,” she sniffled, feeling a sense of calmness rush over her as you toyed with her fingers. it kept her distracted, grounded her for the time being “i don’t know, i’ve just been wanting to be the best all the time-for everyone-and i can barley even keep my head straight”
“i think i can speak for everyone when i say you’ve blown us all away” you traced along her lengthy fingers “your fans, your family, me…we’re all so proud of how far you’ve come”
she sighed deeply, you could practically feel the relief dispersing in her veins. in trying times like this, this is exactly what she needed. you were the shoulder to cry on, the answer to all her problems.
“you always know what to say”
she was right, you did. you’d always have the most thoughtful response lined up, no matter the reason or time. partially because it came so naturally to you, having an empathetic heart since forever, but partially from the consistency of these conversations. you couldn’t even count on your fingers the amount of times you’d sit with caitlin on tough nights, rubbing her back and whispering softly in her ear to bring her back to reality.
“well it’s the truth” you chimed “i’m always going to be here for you, cait”
you always are.
she offered you a smile through puffy pink lips, sore from biting them in strain. caitlin found the strength to pull away from you as her hands left yours, only to plant them right back onto your cheeks. her hands felt heavy on your skin when she brought your face to hers gently. your lips met in a sharp yet delicate kiss, caitlin eager to feel you against her again. but it hadn’t felt usual to you, as your bottom lip caught between her teeth and as your tongue collided with hers. it lacked that passion, that thrill of reveling in your lovers embrace. what was once fire was now a mere ember is a pool of spreading ash. you had feared this feeling for quite sometime although you’d never admit it, it felt as if she was slipping through your fingers.
bit by bit.
Tell me, what's the joy of giving
if you're never pleased?
she had changed.
locking herself away and distancing herself further from you as the season went on. she had always been hard on herself, but even then, she knew when enough was enough and what her limits were. but it seemed that after each game, she lost control of herself more and more. you had never seen her be so critical, so judgmental about her abilities.
it was hard to watch one of the most important people in your life shut themselves away. you wanted nothing more than to be there for her, but she put on the same facade each time and claimed that it as a slump to overcome. but could you really call it a slump when it was starting to weasel its way into the foundations of your relationship?
you hated to think it, but you felt neglected; your wellbeing didn’t feel like it was a priority to caitlin anymore. she used to be so sweet, attentive and caring when you were back in iowa. you wished that you were just as important as basketball. but the mere thought of accusing her of abandoning you seemed harsh when you considered bringing it up to her, because in all fairness, she was undergoing one of the biggest milestones in her life. but that didn’t mean that pushing you aside was fair either. you were taking care of the apartment, running all the errands, helping her balance her schedule, comforting her every single night as she saught after you for solace…and then managing your own life on top of that.
some days it felt like she didn’t even bat an eye at the lengths you went for her. how her laundry was done and set on her dresser, how dinner was made each night, how you picked up her favorite protein powder at the grocery store because you noticed that she was running low? she had began to expect it the more you pushed, not even offering so much as a ‘thank you’ or any regard of appreciation.
you could only give so much with little in return, you need her just as much as she needed you.
On my last strength against you
Baby, tell me what you need
you were happy for her, truly you were. it was so rewarding to see caitlin bond with her team and start to navigate her place in the W. she was beginning to believe in herself and that’s all a girlfriend could want for her partner. but something continued to gnaw at you.
you were doing everything in your power to make more time for caitlin-even if it should be the other way around. maybe by clearing up your schedule, it would make it easy for caitlin to make time for you. but you were sorely mistaken, you couldn’t force someone to make time for something that barely crossed their mind. and perhaps it was a foolish thought. an accusation a bit too cruel, but it was hard to watch caitlin celebrate life without you when most of it was owed to you. no one else served as her backbone, her crutch as she climbed her way to the top.
it was a bittersweet feeling for the most part. you smiled when seeing all the team pictures posted on instagram, chuckling lightly when caitlin retold stories of practices as she got ready for bed each night-the only time you seemed to get with her nowadays. but then there were the tears when you ate meals alone at the head of the table, staring off into the empty seat where she should be sat. and of course the mornings where you didn’t feel like getting out of bed because facing reality of your crumbling relationship was too much to bare.
it was an unfair truth; as she glances off in another direction, you’ll be glancing back to her.
Young as I want to know
I will never let you go
“baby?” her voice felt foreign in your ear. you hadn’t heard that pet name in a while.
“hm?” you responded mindlessly, unable to form a genuine reaction.
you were sat on the balcony of you apartment, the sliding glass doors open behind you. it would let the autumn chill into the house, you told caitlin many times to not leave it open. but she disregarded your commands as she leaned against the frame of the door. you had a small blanket draped over your lap to protect your bare legs from the nippy weather of the changing seasons, your chin resting on your palm as you over looked the view of indiana. your mind felt blank and overcrowded at the same time and trying to clear your head with some fresh air didn’t seem to help at all.
you hadn’t realized she would be home so soon. after all it was 5:00 on a friday evening, you presumed she’d be out with the team or running extra drills with aliyah, hell even at a media event of some sorts. you never knew what it was anymore with her. she didn’t bother to text or update you, most times you only knew of her whereabouts from socials or her family.
“are you ok?” she asked again “it’s freezing out here, you should be inside”
“it’s too stuffy” you sighed, inhaling sharply as the breeze brought in another gust “i can’t be in there right now”
you felt her tense up behind you, the image of her shoving her hands into her pockets formed in your peripheral. this was the most you two had interacted in a while, but your moody attitude appeared sudden to caitlin.
“why not?”
“jus’ can’t”
an unsteady silence filled the atmosphere. the only noises left to be heard were the sniffling of your red and runny nose and the traffic blaring below the apartment complex. you had hoped she’d leave you alone and walk back inside. the optimism of trying had started to disappear and you didn’t think you had much fight left in you. you planned to savor the last bits of energy you had to keep this alive, although today didn’t feel like one of those days. you continued to look out into the distance when she finally moved. you felt the spot next to you plunge as she took a seat.
“you never answered me,” her hand came to rest reassuringly on your thigh. despite the blanket that separated your skin, the contact still felt cold “are you doing ok?”
she had already picked up on your weariness, you were never so shut off when you were with her. but you couldn’t pretend to care when she couldn’t either.
“mhm” everything in you fought to not make it sound so obvious, the sound of your heart breaking as you croaked out the words “i’m good”
caitlin was doing so well and you couldn’t bring yourself to be the bitchy girlfriend that was groveling for attention. you weren’t okay, your relationship wasn’t, but if you just sat in the quiet and let it blow over then maybe it would be. you feared being seen as selfish and you felt guilty as you pushed caitlin away with your short answer.
she huffed, pulling her hand away from you as she hunched over her self, elbows on her knees and head in her hands.
“weeks ago you were talking about how excited you were for fall” she muttered “so that you could put out decorations and we could cuddle up on the couch and watch those old scary movies you love so much”
you allowed yourself to look in her direction, noticing how her face was covered by her beautiful long hair. but you didn’t need to see her to know that she wasn’t pleased.
“but the house looks the same and you’ve been sitting on the balcony every day even though you know it’s gonna make you sick” she craned her neck to look out across the city and you could see the trail of tears in her eyes. just glossy, but not enough to fall “it doesn’t sound like you’re ok”
you couldn’t do this, not right now.
“i’m sorry” you breathed “i understand your concern. i just think i’m a little stressed is all you know? just got a lot going on right now and i guess my focus has just been elsewhere. i’m sorry”
a nearly complete lie, all your focus had been on her these days.
“no need to be, i get it, and you know you can always talk to me about these things. but you gotta come inside, babe” she prodded “you’ll catch a cold”
with reluctance, you gave into her request and pushed the blanket off your lap. caitlin watched as you folded it and draped it over your arm before taking your hand and guiding you inside. the warmth and the calming pumpkin scent of your candle enveloped you like a hug, putting you at ease for the time being.
the both of you fell back into your typical routine almost instantly. no words were exchanged as she headed upstairs to shower, and you moseying into the kitchen to start on dinner. some polite conversation was made when caitlin came back downstairs with wet hair and freshly moisturized skin to help you finish dinner, but that’s as far as it went. no hugs from behind as you stood at the stove, no kisses on the neck, no laughter that was pure enough to make your stomach hurt. but it was simple and it was nice, enough to hold you over until the rubber band holding you together finally snapped.
Trading a baseball lover as I face the snow
“alright,” you said as you walked into the living room, heels padding against the carpet of the hallway and your dress itching at the skin on your legs. your fingers fiddled with your last earring, making you huff in relief when the clasp finally shut “i’m ready!”
it was date night tonight, the first in what felt like years, and there weren’t any words that could describe how ecstatic you were. just the thought of some much needed bonding time with caitlin gave you hope. yes times have been tough, but there wasn’t anything a little quality time (and maybe some good sex) couldn’t fix. you had been planning this night for sometime, making sure you both had the evening off and meticulously scheduling every last minute of the night. you were optimistic that tonight would open up a new door for progress.
but when you walked into the living room, your heart sunk. here you were, all dolled up with the prettiest smile on your face, waltzing into the most disappointing sight.
caitlin sat on the couch, legs spread and back against the soft cushions. she had her phone in hand, hair pulled back like always…and most definitely in a dirty tee shirt from her hamper and a pair of sweats. certainly not date attire, you knew.
“cait” you stood blankly “it’s 7:00”
“uh yea” she responded, only looking up from her phone for a moment, then quickly doing a double take once she realized your physical state “what’s with the dress? i mean you look as beautiful as always but-”
“are you serious?” you scoffed. you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. never in a million years did you think this would happen in your relationship. caitlin wasn’t like that.
“what do you mean ‘am i serious’?” she was taken aback, frustration already evident on her face as her checks glowed a shade of red “i just asked a fucking question”
“you really don’t know?” shoulders slumping when you realized she actually did forget.
she shook her head, brows furrowing as she awaited your response. a quick “no” fell from her lips.
“is the 24th caitlin” you chewed at your lip nervously, trying to hold back tears. you voice wavered as it caught it your throat, making you sound weak and defeated “our date?”
the color drained from her face in seconds, gaze softening and lips downturned. she was off the couch in seconds as she stumbled towards you, bringing your hands into hers. but you pulled them away swiftly and shot her a glare. you were done with the excuses, done with being left in the dust
“babe, i’m so sorry” she shook her head and brushed off the sting that came with your reluctance to her touch “i totally spaced, i could’ve sworn it was next week”
“i’ve been talking about this for months, caitlin” the words stumbled out from gritted teeth, jaw clenched in anger. you had no idea what to say anymore.
she gulped deeply as she looked down to her feet, she was in the doghouse for sure. although you’d consider her fate to be much worse than that. you began to sniffle upon her silence. could she really not manage to say anything right now?
“let me make it up to you” she tried to compromise. part of her knew she’d never be able to outlive this, but she was delusional enough to still believe she could somehow fix it.
“no,” you breathed, bending down to take off your heels. there wasn’t even a point in salvaging this tonight “just forget it”
“no really, you’re upset and this meant a lot to you and i want to fix it”
that was your breaking point. perhaps she didn’t mean it that way, but did she really only see this as something important to you? did she care at all about spending time with you? you wouldn’t be dumb to think that she wouldn’t, she had hardly done anything recently to make you think otherwise.
“really?” you sneered again, there was nothing holding you back anymore. you tossed your shoes onto the couch, leaving them as a problem for later “you want to fix this because it meant a lot to me?”
caitlin tried to study your facial features as she said nothing yet again. she couldn’t tell if you were genuinely mad or just annoyed, willing to forgive or prepared to hold this against her. she noticed the deepened tones of your cheeks and nose, the twitch of your left eyebrow, and the motion of your tongue darting out to sooth the previous bites on your lip. she had never seen you this mad, not in the eternity she had known you. you were such a sweet and loving person, incapable of talking bad about someone or staying mad for long. but she’d be damned if it felt you hadn’t changed within a second.
“i thought you would’ve cared too” you continued “you know, since i’m your girlfriend and you should also want to spend time with me”
“i do spend time with you”
“the fuck you do”
“what the hell does that mean?” she questioned angrily “of course i do, i’ve just been busy”
“please enlighten me then” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes “when was the last time we spent time together?”
“well what about tuesday, huh? when we, uh..when we watched that movie before bed? or when we both went to the team dinner the other night? that was spending time together wasn’t it?”
“no i watched the movie, you barely talked to me all night and the crawled into bed and went to sleep with your back turned,” you choked up as you recalled the memory, you remembered how much it broke your heart. your fingers came to pinch the bridge of your nose as the familiar sting of tears washed over you. “and really, the team dinner? you call that spending time? is it really that if you just chat with your buddies the whole night? you practically ignored me the entire time”
she kissed her teeth at you, clearly aggravated, but deep down she knew you were right. she hadn’t been good to you at all these last few months. and if she were to really be fair to herself, she’d have to admit that it was taking a toll on her too. she didn’t know why she was doing this, why she was acting this way, but she had already made her bed and she’d have to lie in it. this was a habit she knew she’d been baring for quite some time, pulling away when things got hard, leaving her loved ones to cope with the pain from her mistakes. and it broke her heart each time, but with you, it was like she was losing air.
“i’m trying here, alright?” her throat was dry as she tried to give you some poor excuse. she was too caught up in her own shame that she was digging her grave deeper.
“look caitlin,” you glared “i don’t know what the hell is going on with you, but i’m tired. trying just won’t cut it. i know you’ve felt the distance too, we haven’t been normal for a while now and it’s killing me. i can’t eat alone every night, have you come home just to ignore me, and the only time i get with you is under the public eye or with your friends. i know you have shit going on, cait, but you keep pushing me further and further away from you and i don’t know how much longer i can take it. i’m here for you time and time again and you can’t find it in yourself to set aside one fucking night for me”
you chewed at your lip, carefully navigating your next move before continuing.
“i left my entire life behind for you, caitlin. my friends, my family, everything that i have ever known. i left it all to be here with you and support you. and the fact that i spend every day mourning you when you’re in the same house is suffocating, i just can’t do it”
body shaking with anticipation, you looked down at your bare feet. you couldn’t bring yourself to look her in the eyes anymore. before you could stop it, sobs racked your body, tears cascading down your face. the emotions were too much to handle.
“babe-” she cooed, voice softening upon your confession. she’d never felt so disappointed in herself.
“stop,” you said meekly, cutting her off through your own sniffles. you forced yourself to look at her briefly, wiping away the mascara that had definitely accumulated under your eyes. whatever she had to say, you couldn’t hear it tonight. whether it be an apology or total rejection, the end to this period of suffering was about to end and you weren’t ready to deal with it head on yet “i think we need some time, caitlin. i just-i’m too upset and i’m hurting and i think time will do us some good”
“wait what?”
“you need to work out your shit. i don’t know, i think i’ll go to one of my friends places or something for a while..because i can’t put myself through anymore of this”
“no,” it came out as a blurt, her mouth moving before she could think. although she wouldn’t want to think, the image of you leaving plaguing her mind already “please, no, we can figure this out! god, fuck- just please don’t leave me”
you watched her slowly breakdown, she was becoming increasingly hysteric as begged you to stay. you gulped hard when she started crying along with you, another one of the few times she had shown you this side of her. it pained you to see the sight, your instincts told you to take it all back and reassure her everything was ok. but you had to keep your head high and remind yourself that things wouldn’t be ok if you didn’t look out for yourself, even if that included stepping away from caitlin for a few days.
“i’m not…i’m not leaving you, cait. just gonna take some time away, we both need to think about how this relationship is going to continue. and i can’t have an open mind if the cycle continues. but i promise it’s not goodbye, ok?”
she breathed through staggered hiccups, trying to force her body to relax. she couldn’t stand to be without you, even if it didn’t seem like it these past few months. her calloused hand came up to run down her face, taking the tears with it in an attempt to calm down.
“yea” she agreed, her voice barely above a whisper. she hated this, but she knew you both needed the time. you were always right “yea, ok”
and with that, you reluctantly stalked to the bedroom to pack a bag for a few days. shoving random shirts and shorts into the small duffel, avoiding the ones that you’d previously stolen from caitlin over the years. she had opted to sulk alone in the living room, bracing herself by sitting on the couch. she still couldn’t process any of this, the fact that she wouldn’t be with you for more than a day made her sick. even more sick at the fact that you couldn’t talk this out right away, you’d both have to navigate your feelings alone for a while.
she was perched at the edge of the couch, knee bouncing at an alarming rate. her gaze was fixed at the wall in front of her, staring at the variety of pictures that you’d hung on the wall. some of you both when you were younger, others of pictures with your families, and a few from the vacations and holidays you two shared since you’d been together. but her favorite ones, the ones she couldn’t bring herself to look away from, where the one of just you both. her eyes flickered across each and everyone, looking at the way you smiled at her, eyes almost welling up again when she saw how happy you guys were. she’d do anything to have those moments back, go back in time and stop herself from treating you so horribly.
she was disrupted from her period of musing when she heard you walk down the stairs for the second time tonight. you came into view with a bang slung across your shoulder, high heels replaced with a beat up pair of converse. you grabbed your keys as you stopped momentarily to give caitlin a saddened look, lips drawn in an apologetic smile. but you had nothing to be sorry for, caitlin thought when she gave you a similar look in return.
“hey,” she said before you could reach the front door. you turned your head, hand resting on the knob. desperation lingered in her eyes “i love you, and i’m so fucking sorry”
you dipped your head and pursed your lips, letting her know of your approval before fully opening the door and beginning a solemn ascent to your friends apartment.
“i know”
On my last strength against you
Baby, tell me what you need
it had been 6 days. 6 agonizingly long days.
she had nothing but time to think, and yet, she couldn’t seem to gather her thoughts at the same time. her mind was everywhere, bouncing from regret and guilt, to anger and dissatisfaction, and of course the remorse and pain. this is what caitlin was afraid of doing, pushing herself so far away that it had finally gotten to you. she’d gotten caught up in her head so deep that she failed to realize how much you were hurting. she’d never forgive herself for this.
everything felt gloomier without you, she noticed that now. there was a certain comfort in you being there, even if she did ignore you and push you to the side, you’d always be there and she abused that luxury. from the moment you left the essence of your shared home shifted uncomfortably. it was like a storm had unleashed its wicked winds to reign terror over the household, dulling your spirt that had kept it so pleasant and welcoming.
but she had to admit, the time was good. she needed to sit and make a change, promise herself that she’d get better for you. even if that did mean she’d have to sleep alone for a few nights, order takeout because her cooking would never amount to yours, brush her teeth before bed and come home from practice with you nowhere in sight. it was a necessary torture, but only temporary, she reminded herself. maybe she’d never know why she was acting the way she was, have to come to terms with the fact that she’s a shitty girlfriend and doesn’t deserve the apology she hoped you were willing to give. but despite knowing or not knowing, at least she could catch the poison that was her troubled subconscious before it could sink too deep. it was time to give up the self loathing and internal ridiculing. she wouldn’t let herself hurt you anymore
caitlin had always struggled with holding herself to an unachievable standard, convincing herself that she would never be enough or worthy of all this attention. she couldn’t believe that so many people wanted to watch her play, that she was first pick and that she was finally playing pro like she always wanted-part of her thought it was too good to be true. but she didn’t want to wake up from this implausible dream, forcing herself to go above and beyond just to hold onto it. and in the process, she’d forgotten to make time for you too. it was foolish, to ignore you like she had, you were her everything. every waking moment, at every practice and at every game, you consumed the entirety of her mind. at the end of the day, she was doing this all for you.
it was easy to get lost in the fame and the excitement and the pressure, but it shouldn’t have been enough to make her neglect you. nonetheless, she managed to do it anyways. so she took these 6 days to reflect and really target why she felt like she needed to act like this. she would go to the ends of the earth for you, willing to pick herself apart if it meant making it up to you.
Come into my bedroom
Come into my bedroom
her foot tapped nervously against the coir fiber of your friends doormat. a faded “welcome” written in black felt contradictory as she tried to find the motivation to knock. you hadn’t texted or called, hadn’t reached out to caitlin at all to let her know you were ready. but she needed you like she needed air and just had to see you. she had to finally apologize for how terrible she was acting, beg for your forgiveness because being away from you was eating her alive.
she let out a shaky breath as her closed fist met with the white wooden door, sending a loud pounding noise through the other side. caitlin could hear your friends dog barking and scratching against the door, followed by rushed footsteps that got increasingly closer. she barley had a moment to regather her thoughts before the door was pulled open harshly.
“caitlin?” your friend came into view, disheveled as she tried to keep her dog from running out the door. she quirked her eyebrows at caitlin’s presence, shocked and confused-and definitely a little angry-as to why she was at her door “what’re you doing here?”
“i um,” caitlin cleared her throat as if to stall, wanting more time to think of the right thing to say “i was hoping i could talk to-”
“i don’t think she’s ready to see you, cait” your friend muttered, trying to keep her voice down so you couldn’t hear. and you probably didn’t, caitlin was extremely aware of that.
“i know i know” caitlin urged “but i just need to see her ok? i need to make this right”
your friend chewed at the inside of her cheek as if contemplating her next move. you were her best friend and she’d do anything to protect you. after a few seconds, she shook her head and began closing the door, offering caitlin an apology and a goodbye as caitlin continued to beg for just one chance.
“no please, just let me see her! just a few minutes!” she said louder this time, slotting her sneaker clad foot in the doorway “i just need a second i swear to god-”
your friend put all she could into getting caitlin to leave, trying to push her out the door as quickly as possible. but she was persistent and continued her pleas.
somewhere in between the endless banter, through caitlin’s desperate cries and your friends agitated dismissals, came the answer to caitlin’s prayers. you were napping in the guest bedroom when she walked up the steps to your friends home, having been exhausted from sobbing throughout the night. just like caitlin, you hated sleeping alone. but your efforts to seek out peace were quickly interrupted when you heard subtle shouts from the the other room. curious and worried when you heard your friend raise her voice, you hurried to see what the commotion was all about.
you were surprised to the see the scene unfolding in front of you. your friend wrangling the door shut as her legs fought to keep the dog at bay, cussing out whoever was behind the door. you could’ve about laughed at her antics until you suddenly realized who it was that she was trying to shut out. you had assumed maybe an ex or maybe even a family member would have been the culprit, but the long silky black hair that glimmered through the gap in the door quickly corrected you.
“caitlin?” you questioned just as your friend had before. you stood back a few feet front the door, although your voice was loud enough to make the both of them stop.
their heads both whipped in your direction, the door creaking open wider so you could see her in full view. your friend huffed, rambling about how she thought you were asleep and how she was sorry that they had woken you up. but you discarded her as your eyes locked with your girlfriends. there was a certain look of grief in her eyes, the color almost fogging over in despair. your head told you to look away, the sight too depressing to stand, but your heart yearned for her nonetheless, unable to tear your eyes from her.
“YN” she spoke. it was like a cliche movie scene, like out of a fairytale, when the prince sees his princess in her natural beauty for this first time. whist she was hardly a prince and you hardly looked the part of a princess, the feeling was all the same. that feeling of reassurance and love. you were here, right here in front of her in your pajamas and bunny slippers, and suddenly she felt some sort of relief wash over her.
you walked over to them, assuring your friend that it was ok and asking her to give you some privacy. she walked away hesitantly after giving your shoulder a supportive squeeze. she shot caitlin a disapproving glare as she disappeared back into the house. you ushered caitlin to follow you out to the front porch, motioning to the swing that croaked in the afternoon breeze.
“what’re you doing here cait?” you asked, not looking at her, as you settled on the swings cushion, using your foot to keep it from rocking back and forth “i thought we agreed to take some time”
she took the spot next to you slowly as if not to scare you off, she worried she’d mess this up with you. she so badly wanted to reach over, rest her hand against your thigh and feel the soft skin of your palm rest atop it. but she opted for her own lap, picking at her nails mindlessly.
“i know,” a sigh that had nestled deep in her chest had finally met its release when she began “but i couldn’t take it anymore. this week has been fucking torture for me…i had to see you”
sadness washed over you for a moment, like the sun in a day of mist when it has nothing to shine upon, only dissipating when you felt her shoulder brush against yours. there was almost a faint smile on the corner of your lips, you’d also missed her touch over these past few days. but reality was cruel as it brought you back to the present moment.
“it’s torture for me too” you admitted. you despised being away from her, constantly yearning to be with her whenever she was away.
“really?”
“of course” you snorted, shaking your head as you look out across your friends lawn. you eyed the hydrangea bushes that weaved its way through the porch railings, the patches of yellow that spread through the grass-what a statement to question “i always miss you when we’re apart, why wouldn’t i?”
it sounded stupid to say, you realized once the words left your mouth. nothing you had done would insinuate you missing her, especially leaving her to wallow in your apartment alone, if anything it did quite the opposite.
“cause i’ve been a fucking asshole” she blurted “i wouldn’t miss me either to be honest”
she wasn’t lying, she was an asshole. the pain and loneliness that you endured over the past several months were dreadful, and she was finally ready to admit that it was all her fault. there were no more excuses to hide behind, not when your relationship was at stake. as she reminisced on the many years you’d been in each others lives, she found no reason to validate her behavior. you were everything she could ever need, ever want, and she was taking that for granted.
“nothing could stop me from missing you, cait”
a bitter taste filled your mouth as you anxiously responded to her. you’d been biting down on your lip so hard that you had started to bleed, barely even noticing it through the stiff tension between you. it was silent again for a while as you both pondered on your next moves. should caitlin beg for your forgiveness, get on her knees in front of you and cry? or maybe it should be you, convincing the both of you it was a misunderstanding and you should just forgive her and go home? you’d been straining yourself with your own stubbornness and you didn’t know how much longer you could keep it up. part of you wanted to hold your ground and let her know that you wouldn’t except this treatment, but the other part of you just wanted to fall into her embrace and forget about the whole thing. but before you could conquer this battle within your brain, caitlin beat you to it with a rapid burst.
“baby, i-” she said, stoping herself to think-was she even allowed to call you that anymore? her tongue clicked and her eyes squeezed shut, this feeling of guilt was insurmountable “i can’t tell you how sorry i am. how much i regret everything”
she sounded defeated as she fought to get the words out, a whimper threatening to spill at any moment. her nose stung as she sniffled back cries. she thought she’d never get through this, that she wouldn’t even be able to look you in the eyes. but to much of her dismay, your delicate hand met with hers, forcing her fidgety fingers to relax. she turned her head to look at you through damp lashes, and finally seeing your sparkling eyes looking back at hers, found the courage to continue.
“i get so…caught up in myself, and i forget about what’s right in front of me. practice, games, all the hate i’ve been getting recently-christ everything just starts beating down on me and i get so lost. i isolate myself and i push away anyone who tries to break through this damn wall i’ve put up..and when they do..i just end up hurting them” she watched your face contort as she spoke, your lips turning downward to a sympathetic frown. you were always too sweet to her, too good for this world “and that’s what i’ve done to you, the most amazing person in my life and i won’t ever forgive myself for it”
“honey..” the pet named rolled off your tongue effortlessly. caitlin would be lying if she said that hearing it didn’t put her mind at ease. you stuttered, trying to find the words yet again, but she urged you to let her finish.
“i’ve let my shit get in the way of loving you the way you should be. there’s no excuse for how i’ve treated you since the move to indy-not tough games or being homesick or any of that-and i’ve regretted every minute of it. you don’t deserve to go to bed alone just because i was upset, o-or to feel like you have to deal with your stuff by yourself…i know moving has been hard on you, especially since your entire family is back home…and the fact that i haven’t been any support to you is unacceptable and i take full blame for that. and for everything else too, like making you feel neglected? it’s fucking breaking my heart knowing that that’s what i’ve caused, that i’m never around and that i’ve been the furthest thing from a girlfriend. we’re supposed to be a team, we are a team, and all i’ve done is let you carry the weight of both of us. i’m so incredibly sorry and i’ll keep saying it until you believe me”
her chest rose and fell ever so faintly as she breathed deeply. she had run out of air as the words left her in a haste, eager to get her apology out. these past days were spent planning each word, each motion, each action so meticulously and she needed it to work.
and with her final huff, there was a gentle silence again, the wind chimes hanging from your friends porch ceiling clinked softly together. you removed your hand from caitlin’s, letting it rise to her and face and resting it on her cheekbone. the pad of your thumb rubbed into her soft skin, feeling the prominence of her defined cheekbone. she felt warm, probably worked up from the heightened emotions, but it was soothing in a way.
“i believe you, cait” you breathed. you felt her instantly relax into you, the weight of her head pressing into your palm. her eyes fluttered shut and her brows furrowed, she felt undeserving of your reluctance “and i know you’re sorry, it’s okay”
“it’s not” she mumbled against your hand “it’s far from okay. and i’m going to do everything i can to gain your trust back”
“you’re right, it’s not. but i know you’re actually sorry…and you don’t need to gain my trust back, babe. you’ve always had it” her lips quirked when she heard the lighthearted tone of your voice “you really hurt me, and these past few days have been straight from hell. but the fact that you came and owned up to it all shows me that you’re going to work on it”
she nodded frantically, agreeing with every word. because it was true, she’d go the extra mile to ensure you never felt like this again.
“i can’t imagine a world in which i’m not spending eternity with you..so i’m willing to forgive, but my heart won’t be able to bare this again and i need you to promise me it won’t happen in the future. i know you have so much going on in your life, you’ve gone through a lot, but it can’t continue to get in the way of us. i’m here for a reason, to listen and to help in any way i can. please talk to me instead of shutting me out-i want to be there for you okay?”
“of course, i’m going to be better. for you. you deserve more than what i’ve shown you and that’s far from how i want to be, we’re in this together and i want to change. i love you so fucking much and it’ll never happen again”
with a hand still on her cheek and a smile tugging at your lips, you leaned in closer to her. the denim of your jeans rubbed against the swing cushions as you moved nearly into her lap, close enough to press your lips to hers. you could tell the kiss caught her off guard when you felt her body jolt, but quickly relaxing when she fell under your enchantment.
it was a feeling that was hard to explain, like a flame being reignited or a spark nestling in the depth of your chest. you hadn’t kissed caitlin in quite some time, and when you did all that time ago, it had felt meaningless. but here it was different, the taste of jovial tears mixing with that of your lips, creating a rejuvenated feeling of love and adoration. there as a kick to this kiss as she pulled you in deeper, her hand coming to the back of your head to cradle you. it felt good again and you couldn’t be more grateful.
“i love you too”
Come into my bedroom
Come into my bedroom
it had been about a week or so since you decided you were ready to come home and work on healing your relationship with caitlin, and it had already been going better than you had expected. even though the conversation on your best friends porch went smoothly, you had only imagined the fights and anger that would be exchanged once you came home. but caitlin had shown quite the change already and you could already feel the rips and holes of your relationship beginning to mend. she had been just as doting and soft as she was at the beginning of your relationship.
she was treating you to candlelit dinners, drawing you the most relaxing baths, and fitting time into her schedule for you no matter how long it might be. she even took you golfing with her and was dragging you along to outings with the team and occasional press events. you hadn’t felt this excited in a long time, it was like you were crushing on her all over again.
for the first time since your life started in indiana, the little things were beginning to matter.
and now it was a quiet weekend night in, the plushness of the living room carpet weaving between your bare toes as caitlin’s hands rested quaintly on your hips. the furniture had been been pushed off to the outskirts of the room in order to give your bodies plenty of space to sway freely. the overhead light fixture had been long forgotten once the evening sunset began to bleed through the window, creating the sweetest source of light. the old record player, the one you brought with you when you moved away from home, sat on the the table in the corner as it spun yours and caits favorite album. the tune hummed quietly as its scratchy notes bounced off the walls, yet it was perfect for a night like this.
maybe it was cheesy, the way you and caitlin rocked side to side as you danced in your pajamas to sappy love songs, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. it was like a page out of the romance novels you read in high school. you were convinced this was all you needed in life, no luxury clothes or fancy dates, just you and caitlin soaking each other in as you danced around the apartment. it healed something in you as she spun you in her arms, laughing heartily when you stumbled. she was finally back to being your caity girl once more.
“what?” you giggled breathlessly after catching yourself from almost falling, pushing a loose strand of hair out of your face. she was staring at you when you faced her again, dimples evident as she grinned at you. her eyes had a softness to them, similar to the softness of her hand that snuck under your shirt to lightly pinch your side.
"nothin'" she shook her head with a wavering sigh "you're just...everything i've ever dreamed of, and i don't know- i just can't believe this is real"
she seemed choked up, in genuine disbelief that you were standing right in front of her, and it made your heart melt. it was moments like these that you craved, where her walls came down and she was completely herself with you. no pressure to look strong or tough, no holding back tears or true emotions, just pure love.
"of course it's real cait" you titled your head with an appreciative pout. you pulled her in with a comforting hand to the back of her head, leveraging yourself on your tiptoes to place a kiss to her forehead "what do you mean, baby?"
"like," she tried to find the words as she cleared her throat "like i can't believe that you're still with me. i don't know anyone who would stay through anything like the pain i've cause you. and the fact that you're right here in front of me, been so patient with me and understanding...i just feel so undeserving"
"hey, of course you're deserving" you politely scolded "we all make mistakes and sometimes they're bigger than we intend. but i love you more than words can describe and i know you've been trying to mend them. everyone has rough patches in their relationships, but i'm here to stay, caitlin. i'm not going anywhere"
you watched as her shoulders fell drastically; it was apparent that your words meant more than you had originally thought. she had always need reassurance, having always doubted herself in anything she did, and it was an unmatchable feeling knowing that you were the one to soother her. she nodded, not saying anything as leaned into you even more. so, you confided, not prying for a response. this vulnerability was already a big step for her.
you rested your forehead against hers, arms coming to loop around her neck. her long lashes fluttered as they tickled yours. the music was still playing in the background, allowing you both to fall into another oscillating rhythm. although it was cut short again when you felt her lips part, a quiet voice barely escaping her.
"it was you" it came out almost inaudible, leaving you confused on whether you hear her correctly or not.
"hm?"
"it was you," she said clearly this time, foreheads till touching and eyes shut in romantic bliss "from the second we met i knew it was going to be you. like a soulmate or life partner..whatver you want to call it, i just knew that you were going to be it for me"
as you stand there, your heart races, the world about stops spinning. each syllable strikes a chord deep within you, resonating with the echoes of past moments you’ve cherished with her. you could hear those words over and over and never get tired of it. The weight of uncertainty from the past months finally lifts, replaced by an exhilaration that makes everything else fade into the background. nothing else mattered anymore, no stress and no disdain for the road ahead, just you, caitlin, and an eternity together.
"you're it for me too," you said "in every lifetime"
-
A/N: FINALLY!! it's finished!! i definitely didn't spell check this, so if you catch any mistakes, feel free to DM me so i can fix it! i love you and thank you for your patience with this fic :')
207 notes · View notes
luveline · 5 months ago
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Hey if you're still taking requests could I get any sort if angst to comfort for zombie au steve? Been feeling down lately and I've always loved that series!
ty for requesting! zombie au. fem, 1.5k
The new pencils are oil-cored, as opposed to his last ones, which had been wax. They were just fine, but these oil pencils allow him to blend colours and shades with more finesse than ever. He can pour twenty different colours into the tone of your skin and have them blend into a real, phototechnical you. 
He’s pretty proud of this one. 
He wakes up first every morning, allowing for time where you’re unaware and he’s got nothing to do. He’s sketched you so many times it comes naturally. Steve probably wouldn’t need to look, but watching you sleep is half the joy of drawing you. 
You're drooling a little. 
Steve puts the handful of pencils he’d been using to colour your neck back into his pen case. He puts the case and his sketchbook on top of his main bag, shoving it into a corner of your tent with the rest of the bags to climb back onto the bed. It’s a portable cushioning made for camping, and it’s nothing like a mattress, but it is much kinder to your backs than sleeping on the ground. Warmer, too. 
He pushes your head back, knowing it will wake you, his thumb to the little drool line to wipe it away, his palm on your cheek to hold it. 
“Hello.” He kisses your other cheek as your lashes twitch. Doesn’t even think about not doing it. “Good morning.” 
“Morning,” you mumble strangely. 
“What’s that?” he says, soft to match your quiet. His breath kisses your lips. “What’s wrong? You sound sad.” 
You force your eyes apart, and you feel along the mattress with your hand. Steve watches in real time as your eyes fill with tears, huge, heavy tears that well in the corner of your left and spill from the right to wet the pillow under your head. 
“What’s wrong?” he asks, the effort expended to stay calm so gutting he has to squeeze the pillow just shy of your head. 
You grab for him, blankets and your half-open sleeping bag crinkling but not too thick to feel the force of your fingers gripping his sides. 
You must’ve had a bad dream, that’s what he thinks. He’s had enough of them, and he’s unfortunately cried after almost all of them. Sometimes you’ve seen it, sometimes you haven’t, but you look at him with love no matter what —he can forget dreams of losing you when you’re murmuring niceness in his ear, and he can give it back to you. 
“It’s okay,” he says, letting you squeeze him hard. “Don’t cry.” And that’s a little awkward of him, that sneaking panic, but he’s never claimed to be a professional. 
You cry in a weird breath that borders a gag. “I’m so-sorry.” 
“It’s okay, it’s fine. I have bad dreams too. You know that.” 
Steve attempts to get both arms behind your shoulders, pulling you into him, sitting you up. He can’t cope with how quickly you’ve fallen apart. To wake up crying, how scary the dream must’ve been, he hates it. 
“It’s okay,” he says. 
“It was a good dream,” you say. 
Steve frowns. “Okay, so what’s the problem?” 
“We had a house. We had a dog. I don’t– don’t even know if you like cats, but you had a dog, and we,” —you sob between words, not too loudly as to travel far, but aching— “were planning a trip. It felt so real, Steve. You were so happy.” 
Steve tries to process it as fast as he can. “Oh,” he says softly, hand lax where it had been rubbing your shoulder. 
“You were so happy,” you say again, burying the tip of your nose into his neck. You’re practically crawling atop him, but he’s strong enough to stop you from laying him down. 
“It’s okay, honey. Jesus,” he says, patting your back again. “It’s alright. It’s okay.” 
“We’ll never have those things.” 
“Baby, who says so?” he asks in a murmur. 
“We’ll never get to go anywhere together–”
“It feels like we’ve seen pretty much all of America,” he says. He’s joking, but travelling with you from place to place has felt expansive. You’ve seen forests and lakes, a thousand different houses, hundreds of neighbourhoods, and street art and installations and billboards for movies that were never screened. Steve’s seen about as much of the world as he wants to see. “I’d just stay in this tent with you forever if they let us, we don’t need to go anywhere else.” 
“You wanted to see palm trees,” you say, sniffling and pained as your tears warm the curve of his trap. 
“I’ve seen them,” Steve says. “Don’t worry. I’ve already seen palm trees. A whole bunch of them. Don’t worry about what I wanted in the dream, it was just a dream.” 
He gives you a quick kiss, his lips to the very edge of your temple. 
“I feel like I’m gonna be sick.” 
Steve nods. He draws from you reluctantly and opens the tent, ushering you on knees to sit out in the cool air. He sits next to you, dewdrops from the grass wetting his jeans, the sky a humming of early morning colours; the sun rises in bands of orange and raspberry pink, darkness above, sun rays kissing the sides of tents and the portables in the distance. 
You take deep breaths. Steve holds your hand, the two of you looking up at the strange sky. 
“We’ll never be that happy,” you say. 
Steve can hear your agony, and he knows what you mean. He thinks of that life with you and never lets himself think far. You would've gone to college, maybe, and Steve would’ve drove to visit you —he would’ve moved. Maybe in your second year you’d live together in a suburb just between college and his job, whatever it is he’d ended up doing, in a house you chose, with a ring on your finger. Steve wants kids but if you don’t then perhaps you’d have had none, but he still likes to picture you with your babies, a big family, years later. And maybe he’d have a dog. A silly looking one with bark worse than its bite. 
And you’d be together. You would be happy. Nothing to hurt you. Nothing to lose you to. You’d never worry where your next meal was coming from, you’d never feel cold. 
Steve breathes out. Sniffs biting air. “We’ll never be that happy. That kind of happy. We’re never gonna go on trips, maybe we won’t ever have a house, but–“ He pulls your hand toward him, your eyes latching on to his. “But maybe we will. We might not get to watch cable, but we can have a tv, in a living room. We can live together, and maybe we will take trips. I don’t know. I don’t know what we’ll have, but I’m already happy. You don’t have to cry about me being happy.” He shakes his head. “Shit, you shouldn’t. I want that life with you so much I dream about it too, but I have this one.” 
“You think we’ll have a house?” you ask hopefully. 
“We can’t live like this forever.” He’s promising it. “Something has to give.” 
“I want us to have more,” you say. 
A weak confession, your cheeks wet with tears but eyes thankfully drying, your eyelids puffy already from sleep and crying alike. Steve wants you to have everything, even if everything is a stupid thing to think you’ll have. 
“We will.” Steve closes one eye, a sort of prolonged wink of pain as his nose wrinkles. “But this is enough for now, right?” 
“No.” 
You’re kidding, to Steve’s relief. 
He laughs and elbows you, glad to see your smile as you evade poorly. “Say it’s enough!” 
“No way.” 
You don’t wait for him to pull you in or ask if it’s alright, flopping without ceremony into his lap, and then turning toward him to hug his stomach. He looks down at you fondly, hand rubbing up your warm back. You’re still clammy from sleeping, but you’re not crying anymore. 
“It’s really cold out here.” 
“I know.” He blows a warm breath in your ear. “Do you still feel sick? Don’t barf in my lap.” 
“I’m sorry, Steve. It just felt so real.” 
His voice turns to a silky whisper he’s only ever used in love. “I know. I’m sorry.” 
“It’s fine. We never would’ve… I’d never get to be here,” —you squeeze him around the waist— “if we were in a world where we also get the house and the dog and… the family…” 
“But it would’ve been nice,” Steve finishes, looking up from your back to watch as the raspberry bands of pink turn to blue. 
“It would’ve been perfect.” 
359 notes · View notes
worldlxvlys · 9 months ago
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complicated (part 1)
chris sturniolo x reader
matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: making out, mentions of sex, suggestive, angst, cursing
a/n: this one is longggg so i broke it up into 3 parts. i already wrote parts 2 and 3 so they’ll be up soonnn :)
matt, chris, and i were all chilling together in their living room.
nick had gone to his room to start editing a little while ago.
matt and i were seated next to each other on the couch, chris sitting on the loveseat.
my relationship with the two of them was complicated.
matt was my best friend, he knew me like the back of his hand. with one look at me he could tell what i was feeling.
we spent so much time together, we were often with each other longer than we were apart .
we were so close that we blurred the lines between friends and something more every now and then. but it never went further than lingering touches and almost kisses.
i’m not sure why, but late nights staying up talking have often led to our lips being mere centimeters apart lately.
i chalked it up to sleep deprivation and getting caught up in the heat of the moment.
chris, however, was different. i wasn’t as close to him as i was matt, but the few times where it was just us hanging out, i always had fun.
there was this unspoken tension between chris and i. we never said anything about it, but we were both well aware it was there.
he made flirty comments toward me whenever matt wasn’t in the room, finding joy in my flustered state that resulted from it.
i never let anything happen though, out of respect for matt being my best friend.
it seemed like chris made it his mission to get me to break, constantly testing my self-control.
the three of us had just finished watching a movie, watching as the credits began to roll.
immediately, matt stood up, patting my knee as he did so.
“alright, i’m gonna get food. you guys coming?” he asked.
chris stood up as soon as matt asked the question.
“no, i’m good” i answered, not feeling like getting up.
chris glanced at me for a second before answering, “actually, i’m not really hungry”
matt narrowed his eyes in confusion before shrugging and beginning to leave.
“alright, i’ll be back in a little” he said before leaving.
chris walked over to me, replacing matt’s spot as he sat down next to me.
“wanna listen to some music?” he asked as he grabbed the tv remote.
“sure” i answered, watching as his long fingers worked the remote.
“why didn’t you go?” i asked, watching him from the corner of my eye.
i watched as he clicked shuffle on a playlist, before the room was filled with the melody of a song.
wet the bed - chris brown
“chris, you’re not fucking serious right now” i deadpanned as the suggestive lyrics played out.
“i didn’t pick the song” he held his hands up in defense. “i just picked a chris brown playlist, i know you like his music” he said.
i just wanna take your legs and wrap 'em round
girl, you cummin' right now
my head to your chest feelin’ your heartbeat, girl
“how do you know that?” i asked, confused.
“you’re always listening to his music, so i assumed you liked it. i mean, unless you just listen to music you hate for fun”
“i didn’t realize you were paying attention” i said.
“of course i am. you make it hard to focus on anything else”
i don't want to be a minute man
baby, you're just like a storm rainin' on me
girl, your soakin' wet
i turned my body towards his as he caught my attention.
“what do you mean? do you find me distracting?” i asked, leaning forward slightly.
“you know i do” he said as his eyes traveled down to my lips.
i’ma kiss you right (yeah, yeah)
i'm gon' lick all night (yeah, yeah)
girl, when i'm inside (yeah, yeah)
“why’d you stay?” i whispered as i stopped myself from pushing my lips to his. “you know damn well you wanted to go”
“i did, but i wanted to stay with you more” he said.
“why?” i asked as he rested his forehead against mine. he placed his hand on my thigh, lightly gripping the side of it.
“because i want you” he breathed out, hooking my leg over his waist to straddle him.
yeah, girl, you heard what I said
i'm gonna make you wet the bed
i looked down at him, steadying myself by grabbing his shoulders.
“we really shouldn’t chris” i spoke as my lips brushed against hit.
“definitely not” he spoke against my lips, his eyes closed.
“it’s wrong” i whispered.
“but one kiss wouldn’t hurt, right?” he asked, his hands running up and down my waist.
“chris” i sighed.
“please, i need it so bad” his hands now traveled down to my ass.
“just one-” his lips were on mine the second i spoke the words.
i'ma put your legs behind your head
when I make you wet the bed
my hands found their way to his hair as his lips moved greedily against mine.
one of his hands found my jaw, holding it steady as he deepened the kiss, tilting his head.
after a while, we pulled away for air. “one more” he spoke before attaching his lips back to mine, barely giving me time to breathe.
one more turned into two more, two turned into three, and before i knew it i was lost in the way his lips pressed against mine.
his hands traveled to my ass, squeezing it, eliciting a moan from me.
when i let out a gasp in surprise, he slid his tongue past my lips.
“what the fuck ?” came a voice from behind us.
i pulled my lips away from chris, moving off of his lap.
“matt-” i began before he cut me off. “what? what excuse could you possibly give me right now?” he asked.
“look, i’m sorry that i hurt you, but i’m an adult. i don’t really need to give an excuse for anything i do” i spoke defensively.
“whatever” he scoffed as he shook his head, “ i brought you food for later, i knew you’d probably get hungry anyway. but i guess i’m the only one here who thinks about other people” he spoke in a low voice before walking away.
my face dropped at that, starting to feel bad about not considering his feelings at all.
“hey, if you wanna blame someone, blame me. i’m the one who kept pushing you, so please don’t blame yourself” chris spoke, practically seeing the gears turning in my head.
“yeah” i whispered in response, still feeling incredibly guilty.
“hold on, i’ll be back. i’m gonna go talk to him” he spoke, squeezing my hand before going off to matt’s room.
after sitting there in anticipation for a few minutes, i began to get nervous. not knowing what was going on was killing me.
my body moved quicker than my brain as i got up and made my way towards matt’s room. i pressed my ear to the door, listening to what they were saying.
“you know how i feel about her” matt’s muffled voice traveled through the door.
“you barely even hang out with her, you just want her because you know you shouldn’t” matt continued.
“you like the thrill of having to sneak around, and chasing after someone you can’t have. you never once showed any interest in her before i did, now suddenly you just have to have her?” matt asked.
“it’s not like that, matt. i don’t hang out with her often because whenever i do, you accuse me of stealing her away from you” chris started, but was cut off by matt.
“that’s not true, and you know it. you can’t just warp the truth to support the sorry excuses you come up with. just admit it, you don’t actually want her” matt said.
“that’s the thing, matt, i do want her. i just didn’t wanna make it obvious, since you obviously can’t handle that”
“what i can’t handle is the way you think you’re entitled to do whatever the hell you want. did you ever stop to think about what this would do to my friendship with her? or my relationship with you? do you ever think about anything other than yourself?” matt asked.
it didn’t seem like their conversation was going anywhere. the second they started to get somewhere, someone would throw an insult at the other.
deciding to intervene, i knocked on the door loudly. the arguing stopped immediately and the door opened a few seconds later.
i was met with an angry matt, but his face softened as soon as he saw me.
knowing i wanted to be let in, he moved to the side to let me pass. he closed the door behind me, watching as i went to sit on his bed.
“look, i’m sorry guys. i shouldn’t have kissed chris, it was a mistake. the last thing i ever want to do is break the bond that you guys have. let’s just forget this ever happened” i said to them.
“no” chris started, taking me by surprise. “i want you to pick”
“what?” i asked, my face dropping at this.
“chose who you want to be with. it doesn’t make sense for us to fight over you, it’s your decision. whoever you decide to stay friends with won’t take it personal, right matt?” chris asked.
“yeah, we’re not gonna force you into anything you don’t want. if the feelings aren’t there, then they aren’t there” matt agreed.
two minutes ago they were arguing uncontrollably and now they were able to come to an agreement in seconds? this was weird.
“so, who do you want?” chris asked.
who do i want? i had no clue.
i loved spending time with chris, but what if matt was right? what if i only enjoyed the thrill of having someone i can’t have ? was that worth jeopardizing my friendship with either of them over?
and matt? i had such a deep connection with him, i didn’t want to lose him. if i fucked up our friendship, i’d never forgive myself for it. the last thing i ever wanted to do was hurt him, yet that was exactly what i was doing in the moment.
“i don’t know, i don’t even think i can pick” i spoke honestly.
“then why not give us both a shot?” chris asked.
“wait, what ?” i asked, confused.
“well, you wanna see if this is more than just tension, right ? and you wanna know if you have feelings for matt?” he asked.
“i mean, yeah” i answered.
“well, there’s a way to answer both of those questions” he spoke as he pointed to the bed.
my eyes widened at the implication , “sex?”
“if it’ll help you decide who you want, then why not?” chris asked.
“that’s not really the first approach i would’ve taken, but he’s not wrong” matt hesitantly agreed.
“obviously sex isn’t the only factor that goes into a relationship, but you already know all of the other factors. you know how we treat you outside of the bed, so maybe the key to your decision is what happens in it” matt spoke.
“i mean, if you don’t want to that’s fine but-” chris started. “i’m in” i cut him off.
“so, who’s first?” i asked playfully.
“me” chris spoke eagerly, “i mean, we should finish what we started earlier, right?” he tried to cover up his excitement.
“alright, get out of my room” matt started, ushering us out. “and please don’t be loud, i don’t wanna hear that shit”
🌀🌀🌀🌀
next part
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @mattsnymphette @leah-loves-lilies @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07
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harryslittlefreakk · 11 months ago
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late night talking
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summary: a chance meeting with harry before his wembley dates leads you into a bizarre friendship
wordcount: 1.7k
a/n: i HATE writing meetings. this part is so slow but the next part is linked underneath, which is much nicer ;)
my masterlist can be found here!
“Just a caramel macchiato please”, you said, rubbing at your eyes as you spoke. You always had a hard time sleeping in hotels and tonight was no different. You’d travelled to London to attend some concerts with your best friend, and although she’d invited you to stay with her, you didn’t want to infiltrate her newlywed bubble. So now you were standing in a quiet Starbucks, in your pyjamas, at almost midnight.
You chose one of the comfy tables at the back, hoping not to be noticed by any of the other crazies out at this hour. But not long after you sat down, someone decided to sit in the seat immediately behind yours. You sighed and kept your eyes on your phone, knowing only too well what kind of person chooses a seat next to a woman in a deserted space.
“Sorry, do you have a napkin?” A man’s spoke came from behind you, interrupting your quiet solace. You grabbed one off your table and turned around to pass it over, not looking too closely at the man who asked. His gold rings caught your attention, an obnoxious H S that sent your wide eyes darting up to meet his. The brown curls peeking out from under his hood, the dimpled grin sitting on his chiselled face. It really was Harry. Your heart rate quickened, inches away from the face of the man you were here to see. His laugh broke your spell, and you realised you’d never even let go of the napkin. “Sorry, sorr-“, you spluttered, suddenly unable to think, let alone speak. Harry watched your brain reboot, his smile never faltering, before asking what you were drinking.
He looked over at you from the counter, taking you in. Your messy brown hair, your black vest top paired with pale pink pyjama pants. Your zip-up hoodie had slipped off your shoulders, allowing him to see some patchwork tattoos poking out.
When he returned, Harry sat down across from you and placed the drinks down gently. Holding out a hand for you to shake, he told you his name, which of course you already knew. “Y/N,” you replied, meeting his green eyes. “Well, Y/N, what are you doing in a Starbucks at this time?” Harry asked, taking a sip of his coffee. You mirrored him, bringing your cup to your lips before explaining how you couldn’t sleep in hotels and were in town for a show. He smirked, eyes glimmering knowingly. “I’m here for a show too. And I like being out at this time. It always feels more anonymous.”
~~~
The girl behind the counter called out to you, letting you know the cafe was closing. You hadn’t even noticed the tables being wiped down or the whirring of the coffee machines on their cleaning cycle. Harry slipped a 20 onto the counter as you stumbled out together, mumbling a quick apology. The air was cold after a warm day, and only then you realised how late it must be. “My hotels this way,” you pointed, not wanting to take any more of Harry’s time. His strong hand reached out and grabbed yours, tugging you behind him as he stepped in the opposite direction. “Come on,” he grinned. “I know somewhere we can get more coffee.”
You walked through an eerily deserted London, laughing alongside Harry but wondering now what on God’s green earth you were doing. If Harry was anyone else, you’d be running a mile. You glanced down at your feet, unsure why they weren’t taking you home. Your heart-print pyjama pants were just another reminder of where you should be going. But as you doubted yourself, Harry ground to a halt, sending you flying into the back of him. “What are you doing?” You asked, staring up at the skyscraper hotel in front of you. This was definitely nicer than your choice of digs. Harry only smirked in response, walking towards the doors. You followed him blindly, trailing through the entrance and into the lift behind him. He pulled down his hood and ran a hand through his hair, watching himself in the mirror before his eyes flicked to you. Finally, he spoke, “hotels will give you coffee at any hour on any day, I’ve noticed.”
“Are you staying here?,” you questioned, stepping out of the lift straight into what must have been the penthouse suite. Your eyes were wide in awe, you’d never seen a hotel room like this before. A small kitchen sat on one wall, with a living area big enough to seat an entire family. A king size bed peeked out from behind a glass room divider, everything accented with black and gold glossy metals. You ran your fingers across the back of one of the blue sofas, twirling round to take in your surroundings before your eyes rested on Harry’s. He nodded, amused by your wonder. “You’re welcome,” you scoffed, setting your jacket down on the table. Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, opening his mouth to question you. Swatting at his chest, you replied, “I paid good money for your shows. You’d be in a travelodge if it wasn’t for me.”
“You and thousands of others!” He interjected, swatting right back at your hand. You giggled, holding your hands up in surrender. “Okay, big man.”
Harry slipped off his hoodie, leaving him in only a sweatshirt and running shorts. You studied him properly for the first time, your eyes running from his tousled hair, to the way his sweatshirt was the perfect amount of baggy, to his toned, tanned thighs. If you weren’t careful you might have dribbled. He’d been the celebrity you’d pined over for years, and now you were standing in his hotel room. “You like what you see?,” he said, snapping you out of your daydream as he padded over to the coffee machine. “You got me here under false pretences, you know that?,” you grinned, plopping down on one of the armchairs. Harry’s head whipped around, mouth wide open in a half smirk. “I promised you coffee,” he gestured to the coffee machine, “here’s coffee.”
“You didn’t tell me the coffee was in your hotel room,” you smirked, before mouthing ‘weirdo’. Harry wagged a pointed finger at you, “ah ah ah. Only nice manners get you caffeine in my cafe.”
Your conversation continued well into the early hours. Tattoos, music, work, life, pets - you had everything and more to talk about. And you seemed to feel bizarrely comfortable around each other. It was almost 4am before you checked the time, and you stood up almost immediately to grab your jacket and leave. “My God, Harry, I should really-“ you tilted your head towards the door, your voice groggy now from talking and laughing for so long. “Stay here tonight,” Harry’s words came out quiet and almost shy. “It’s too late to go back to where you’re staying, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with you out alone at this hour.” He stood up as he spoke, yawning and stretching his arms. “Come on, I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”
As he led you towards the bathroom, you realised just how exhausted you were. And his enormous bed did look comfier than anywhere you’d slept in your life. “Harry, I’m really sorry, but do you have a t-shirt or something I can borrow?,” you asked, leaning on the doorframe. He looked you up and down, laughing. “You’re wearing pyjamas already pet.”
“I know! I know. But I went outside in these. Plus my legs get hot when I sleep.” This was true. You loved fluffy pyjama pants as loungewear but you only ever slept in a top and pants, and you couldn’t exactly wear your skimpy vest on its own tonight. Harry shook his head as he chuckled, his unkempt curls bobbing as he did. He yanked a shirt out of his wardrobe and chucked it at you. “Yeah yeah. You just want to tell the world you wore Harry Styles’ shirt.”
“Oh yes,” you rebutted. “Because ‘I slept in Harry Styles’ hotel’ wouldn’t make a good enough story.”
As you came out the bathroom, you resumed your post leaning against the doorframe, watching Harry throw a blanket on the sofa before trying and failing, several times, to stuff his long body on the loveseat. Stifling a laugh, you called out, “Harry, seriously. Not a chance you’re fitting on that sofa. Come to bed.”
As much as he tried to ignore it, you telling Harry to come to bed was far more inviting than he wanted it to be. He felt nuts. After all, you were a fan - a big enough fan that you’d go to all 4 of his Wembley dates. If word ever got out, he’d have hoards of fans outside every hotel waiting to be the next lucky girl. He just couldn’t explain why he was so drawn to you.
“Thank god for that,” Harry sighed, throwing his head back. “I have places to be tomorrow, I need a good sleep.” He whipped the covers bad and climbed in next to you, rubbing his hands over his face. You were thrashing around, trying to find a comfy position. Settling on your side, you tried to scoot as close to the edge as possible to make this slightly less awkward. Neither of you were used to sharing a bed without the promise of ending up tangled around one another.
“Hey,” he spoke quietly now. “What are you wearing tomorrow love?” Pulling you head up to look at him, you giggled sweetly. That pet name could be dangerous for you. “Why do you want to know?,” you questioned. Suddenly, you felt shy about your outfit choice. You were saving your best outfit for the final date, and now you wished you had something flashier to tell him - although, he’d seen you in your cutesiest pyjamas so the damage may have already been done.
“Want to see if I can spot you in the crowd,” he replied, shrugging his bare shoulders under the duvet. You tapped on your nose as you replied, “baby, you don’t need to worry about spotting me. Anyway, what are you wearing?”
Harry copied you and tapped on his nose, before switching off the bedside lamp and calling out a soft ‘goodnight’. You were pinching yourself up and down your arms to make sure you weren’t already dreaming. You couldn’t believe an insomnia stroll turned into Harry Styles’ bed. The Harry Styles’ bed. If only you knew what the rest of the week would hold.
part two
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arabellaawrites · 6 months ago
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infrunami | cl16
[ drabble ]
by which, she loved him too early, he loved her too late
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
warnings: none
a/n: hello everyone! this is my first fic ever and I'm so happy with how this turned out! I hope it was an enjoyable experience and I hope there wasn't any element that was unpleasant or unenjoyable for yall! I'm aware that it lacks dialogue and everything is past paced and doesn't have much room for detail! I swear I'm working on that and once I've perfected that art, I hope my writing will be more enchanted etc! alright enough yapping. enjoy the fic!
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back then, you and arthur hated watching charles kart. the idea that you both needed to sit under the scorching monegasque sun for afew hours was never exciting but at least you get to watch arthur’s older brother, charles, kart. you’ve always fancied charles ever since arthur introduced you to him at the playground.
he was 3 years older then you and was the exact opposite of arthur, he was matured, well mannered and wasn't childish like you both were. that's what you love so much about him.
until he started going around europe to join racing series, when Arthur broke the news to you, you acted like it wasn't a big deal. you'll still get to see him on the television or during family holidays, right?. but that also means you'll be seeing him once a week or every few months, eventually a week turned into a month, a month turned into a year until suddenly you wont be seeing him at all which broke heart.
soon it was arthur who left you to follow in charles footsteps, racing across europe, joining f4 and achieving great things. unlike Charles, Arthur still kept in contact with you, constantly inviting you to his races and you both still enjoyed each others company, f4 soon turned into f3 and nothing has changed you still admired Charles from afar and Arthur would constantly ask "do you still have a crush on Charles?" or the occasional "y/n you have to let go" but you never did, Charles was your first love and you wanted him and only him.
every night you sleep in bed, tossing and turning, with arthurs voice continuously replaying in your head, but he was right you do have to let go.
when Charles first debuted for formula 1 for haas was when he first reached out to you in years with no contact. inviting you to join the paddock, to see him race in the pinnacle of motorsport, you were above and beyond the moon. strutting down the paddock next to Pascale and Arthur towards the hospitaly while also trying not to pay focus on the ever lasting sounds of camera shutters and kept your composure.
it has been years since then now Charles was in his 6 years in formula 1 and you have never been prouder, seeing him through his ups and down, supporting him through out all the hardships that this sport had caused him.
you often found yourself in and out of college trying to balance study with the constant travel to different races to support your best boys, Arthur and Charles. which alway lead you to end up in his, Charles, driver room before a race reassuring that he'll be fine and his team wont let him down again.
"your the best, y/n" he smiles before suiting up, making you stunned in place with a subtle blush spread across your face as you took his compliment.
barcelona 2023, and you just arrived at the Ferrari hospitality per usual, greeting the staff and Ferrari mechanics as your make your way inside until you bumped into someone making you tumble back as the mysterious man reaches for your waist, holding you steady, you smiled at him and apologized which made him smile back and that's where thing took off.
ever since that day you took has been seeing each other non stop and with that it ruined you and Charles relationship, plans were often cancelled, phone calls were usually ignored and text messages were left unopened. this took a toll on Charles, he's new profound feelings for you was too strong and by the time he realized that he has fallen, it was too late.
"mate please!"
Charles begged to Arthur over the phone, trying to figure out what his feelings were and was trying to piece in the clues in himself. he was frustrated, angry and confused he loved you but it was too late.
while you were living your best life, you had a partner in bed, your home always had that comfortable warm presence of your new boyfriend everything felt perfect, he was everything you ever wanted.
he was also everything Charles ever wanted to be, your man.
until one rainy Tuesday afternoon where everything went downhill, you just came home from them store and was welcome home by the repetitive sound of feminine moans that rang threw out the house. your groceries dropped to the floor followed by the sound of glass in your bag smashing which made the moans stop and your boyfriend ran out to where you were standing. "please I can explain this-" he frantically said while holding on to you as you tried to push him away, "I-ive heard enough! just leave and get your stuff while your at it!" tears swell your eyes as you tried to swallow the horrid sensation in your throat and pushed him away before running back into the rain and in your car. you broke down in heavy tears, your heart ache with hurt and sorrow as you try to make way to Charles place.
"y/n- who did this to you..?"
Charles said as he watches you stand in the rain, mascara running down your face and your clothes all soaking wet, without hesitation he pulled you inside and wrapped a towel around you,
" he cheated on me! how could he-"
you sobs onto him, "he was my-" hiccups "he was my everything and he just!"
you weeped into his chest as he held you tight and tried to calm you down. eventually you stopped crying and lifted your head from his chest
"cha.." you called out to him as he stroked your head and then looking down on you.
"know that I've-" you were cut off "yes I've known...I was an idiot, y/n...I realized too late. I really did love you...I was.." he sighed and looked down at her, "give me another chance, y/n.."
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cllightning81 · 3 months ago
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Labrador Retriever [DR3]
Summary : You and Daniel were dating, or were you? You basically were, but those words had never left each other's mouth. As an apology, Daniel surprises you with a little puppy.
Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Masterlist Dogs Masterlist Daniel Ricciardo Masterlist Tag List
A/N : This man is a golden retriever, but I've got that down as another driver, so I went for a pup as close as possible. Reminder my requests are still open for the moment!
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You and Daniel had been best friends for years for so long that you picked up on each other's habits, and we're basically dating without the acknowledgement that you were dating. 
From sharing beds in hotel rooms to little dates to everyone thinking you were off limits and with Daniel. However, the situation was a little more complicated than just friends being a little too friendly. There were shared kisses, some more heated kisses, and sometimes it went a little bit further than just kissing. 
It wasn’t until after a night out celebrating a good race when an argument broke out between. Harsh words were said between the two of you as you almost stumbled up to the shared hotel room. Daniel followed behind you, keeping his distance, knowing that's what was best for that moment. 
You pulled your heels off, falling onto the bed as Daniel walked straight into the bathroom to get himself ready for bed. You just lay on the bed. Sobs quietly rack your body before Daniel crouched down in front of you. 
“I’m not going to make you listen to me. I just want to take your makeup off because I know you’ll hate yourself if you don’t” You quietly just close your eyes, letting him remove your makeup without any other words being said. 
Once Daniel was done, he pressed a kiss to your hairline before standing up and making his way to the couch. Daniel lay down on the couch as you pulled the cover over yourself, curling up on the bed. 
You lay there for hours, tears falling from your eyes as you thought about what was said between you and Daniel. Daniel had fallen asleep, the alcohol in his system taking over. You eventually gave up. Now completely forgotten what the argument was even about in the first place. 
You looked over at Daniel before making your way over to him on the couch you sighed as you climbed on top of him. His arms instantly wrapping around your frame as you lay there only being able to sleep in his arms was something that you really need to get out of the habit of. 
You started as a Red Bulls photographer all those years ago when Daniel started racing and became his friend, and now this was the position you were in. You got to travel with him, be with him but it wasn’t exactly the same. You weren’t in a relationship, which is how the argument started. 
A guy was flirting with you, and you flirted back because you weren’t in a relationship. You were technically still single, but Daniel didn’t like the fact you were flirting with some other guy. Poor Max had been dragged into it being sent over to ‘save’ you from the man who was just being friendly. 
Daniel rubbed his hand down your back with a sigh as he woke up from his sleep. A kiss being pressed to your hair again, his hands fiddling with your hair 
“Be my girlfriend” He whispered, and you looked up at him with a frown 
“I should have asked you a long time ago and it wasn’t until that guy was flirting with you that I realised how much I was actually in love with you and I actually want to be with you” You couldn’t help but shut Daniel up with a kiss
Your lips pressed against his as he kissed back after a moment or two. Your hands came up to cup his face as he held you against his body. You pulled away after a couple of moments had passed, looking up at him 
“I’m so sorry about how I acted today. Well, now yesterday” He sighed, pushing a strand of hair out of your face
“I know. I’m sorry as well” You sighed, resting your chin on his chest with a small smile 
“Get some sleep. I know you didn’t sleep after you went to bed” He smiled softly 
“Can we move to the bed?” You asked quietly, and Daniel nodded, moving so he was sitting up and able to pick you up. He walked over to the bed, sitting you down on it 
“Let’s get you out this dress as well love” He smiled softly, unzipping it before pushing it down your shoulders and placing it on the chair in the corner of the room as you lay down in bed. Daniel soon joined you, wrapping his arms around you, and you fell asleep comfortable in his arms. 
However, when you woke up the next morning, well in the afternoon, Daniel was nowhere to be seen. You frowned, looking around the room. All that was there was some painkillers and your emotional support water bottle on the bedside table. You took the painkillers while drinking some water as you looked about the room. 
Your phone died in Daniels suit jacket pocket as you sighed. Plugging it onto charge, hoping that he wasn’t too mad and would come back soon. You decided to take a shower to pass some time. Maybe he just went to the gym or to get some food. 
Except when he wasn’t back by the time you got out of the shower, that's when you started worrying there were no new messages from him on your now partly charged phone and he wasn’t answering your texts either. 
Sitting down on the couch staring out at the balcony as your brain wandered to the worst possible thoughts. What if he thought last night was a mistake. What if he thought you wouldn’t remember it. What if last night was a mistake. 
Pacing around the hotel room felt like the only option at that moment. Daniel always kept the key cards because you constantly lost them, which is how he ends up with your belongings on nights out.
At some point during your stressing, you had lay down on the bed and fell asleep. Curled up, holding onto one of Daniel’s hoodies as you slept, and that’s how Daniel found you. 
The little pup in his arms chewed on Daniel’s hands as he lay on the bed next to you. The pup on his chest yapping every so often as his bark was still growing. That’s what woke you up. Rubbing your eyes, you looked about the room with a frown. 
“You don’t hate me” You whispered, looking at Daniel, who frowned 
“What? Why would you think that I hate you?” He asked quickly, moving the little pup out of the way to pull you into his arms 
“I woke up, and you were gone. I thought you hated me after last night” You whispered, wiping your eyes 
“Of course I don’t. I went out to get you a sorry present for me being a complete dick” He sighed, lifting a leg up to show the little pup climbing through them
“You got a dog?” You exclaimed, sitting up quickly 
“We got a dog. I know you’ve been wanting one for a while and I keep saying no because we travel all the time however Pierre and Charles just got pups so I don’t see why I can’t say yes” You picked the little pup up holding him to your chest 
“I’m still annoyed at you Ricciardo” You huffed, and he nodded with a slight chuckle 
“I deserve that, but the little guy still needs a name” He smiled, petting the pups head. 
You pouted slightly, looking down at the little golden pup in your arms. He’d made himself comfortable within your arms, his head resting upon your chest. The room felt right at that moment. You couldn’t explain it if you were asked but actually having confirmation that you and Daniel were a thing, and after all your begging, Danny had finally got you a pup. It was like a dream come true 
“Dallas” You hummed, scratching behind the pups ears as the pup stretched in your arms. 
“You wanna name him, Dallas?” Danny questioned with a small smile as you nodded, turning your head to look at him 
“Yeah. I think it’ll suit him” You confirmed, and he nodded with a smile 
“Before you start worrying everything else we need to look after him is in the car and I already registered him at a vets back home so everything is taken care off” You couldn’t help but press a kiss to Danny’s lips as he hummed kissing back. 
“Thank you so much” You whispered, pulling away from his lips 
“You deserve it after all my shit” He shrugged, and you nodded in agreement. 
Dallas became a wild dog, or at least with Daniel, he was. When with Daniel Dallas, was always barking, running mad, destroying things but with you. He was always at your side, either ready to protect you or sleeping next or on top of you. 
You couldn’t help but fall more in love with each of your boys after each day. Seeing Daniel interact with Dallas was almost like seeing a double of Dallas. They both had so much energy and would run about to get rid of some.
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zombiewhor3 · 2 years ago
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BLUE EYES AND JEALOUSY
rick x fem reader (season 5 era)
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WARNINGS: mentions of jealousy, protective rick, mentions of injured reader, mentions of blood from injury, alexandria era, smut, reader is over 18, penetrative sex, oral, fluid consumption (cum only), jealous sex, rick marking reader, slight public sex, fingering, clit play, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), dirty talk, dominant rick, rough sex, loud sex, getting caught but kinda on purpose ig,
a/n: sorry for the no uploads i've been so busy and i keep randomly starting new drafts and never end up finishing the old ones but anyways i've been working on this one for a week so i'm shocked i even got the chance to actually write out the full thing, i might come back and edit some more of it later because i hate some of the details but feel free to enjoy this for now!
-
a protective prick is what she labeled him as, she could see the difference from the man in the beginning to the man who was now ruthless and so paranoid with practically everything that had seemed to been thrown their way.
she looked at the man who's beard needed an obvious shave while he paced on the porch of one of the houses in Alexandria, she could see his hands placed on his hips as his mind seemed to be a running treadmill of thoughts at full speed inside him.
she remembered how he knocked out aaron and about how badly he had treated him, when all he ever wanted to do was help their group, he just wanted to help their group.
Aaron wanted them to get out of the barn to get out of the poor life they lived in the woods because the truth was they needed food, they needed water and a stable shelter which is what they had now at Alexandria, and living like that simply just wasn't a life for them.
Besides Alexandria was perfect for them the community had hot water, bigger rations to feed their people, air conditioning, hell it was almost like the world was before, the way they all had the opportunity to sleep in beds and never had to worry about going hungry.
Except she could tell everyone was on edge, the paranoia starting to catch onto them, the lack of trust as well, thinking that maybe someway or somehow this was another trap just like Terminus.
Especially Rick had been off his rocker, with all these interviews stressing him out, because he hated the camera filming him,
not because of the way he looked he hadn't cared an ounce if he was covered in Walker blood and dirt that lingered over his skin and hair from traveling through the woods.
he wasn't sure why he hated the way the camera and its red blinking light seemed to soak into him, but he hated the feeling, he hated the feeling of being watched ever so precisely with it.
She noticed he stopped his pacing and instead leaned against the snow white railing while he let go of the hand that was placed on the holster where his knife rested.
"you alright?"
a voice called out from the bottom of the porch making y/n turn her head, a man dressed in nice clothes and a clean pair of jeans rested just near the wall with one of his eyes squinting from the sunlight that was beaming down on him.
his hair color the color of a dandelion and his eyes the prettiest honey golden she had ever seen, his hair short and obviously freshly trimmed because she could see some gel in it still from the way she was ever so guessing he liked to style it as.
y/n pointed to herself watching the man nod with a somewhat of a charming smile approaching the steps of the porch, she could see the dark pupils of Rick's eyes grow,
like a shark meeting its prey the blue was quickly swallowed up and turned into the color of soot that had poured out of the prison while it was being engulfed in a heard of flames and walkers.
"your leg it seems to be bleeding, our doctor is great and i'm sure it wont take long to fix you up" the man offered to her,
he hadn't noticed Rick's nails practically digging crescent shapes into the woods his hands gripped on but she seemed to, she seemed to notice the jealousy and the anger that was boiling through his blood, the way he seemed to be so furious over the man before them.
"it's just a small cut, i caught a branch on the way up here i'd only need a bandage wouldn't want to waste resources" y/n spoke with a gulp looking over to see Rick's grip loosen on the railing as he used a hand to rub over his bushy facial hair.
She had lied that it was a small cut and well that she needed just a small bandage, all she wanted was to maybe ease the man who stood envious and threatening next to her.
"not a waste if you need one just trust me on this" the man held his hand out watching as y/n hesitantly took it making her way down the stairs as she followed him, she swore she could hear a raspy grumble fly from Rick's lips as he watched her run off with some tramp.
-
she looked around the clinic, it was nice and well it was sanitary. unlike the prison clinic where blood and some walker guts had remained before it was burned to the ground.
she looked at the man who forcefully lifted up the denim fabric of her jeans up above her calf to look at the wound on her leg,
"well it ain't no scratch but lucky for you, you don't need stitches"
he gave a half false smile before using some rubbing alcohol to sterilize the wound making her bite down on her inner cheek once he wrapped it in a clean bandage.
Rick slipped into the shower feeling the hot water pour onto his back, with a relieved sigh he used a cloth and a bar of soap to clean over his body. making sure to wipe the residue of blood and dirt from the woods that he had collected over the period of time.
the water poured down his face as he let out a deep exasperated sigh while his mind started to wander to her, his mind seemed like a freight train that wouldn't stop itself from spinning in one big giant circle around him.
no matter what he did, no matter where he went even if he was with her, he couldn't stop thinking so damn wrong, so damn erotic was how you could describe the thoughts pooling into his mind,
a sudden snap of anything and it could send him in a mind filled haze of just imagining how good his cock would be inside her, he imagined how well she'd take him, if he hadn't torn open her walls with how large the size of his cock was.
he let his hands wander over his body while he combed through his shaggy hair that also needed a cut, he wiped over his face pushing some water out of his eyes as he flushed himself with cold water to make the dirty thoughts go away.
he could feel the chill through his bones, of course it didn't feel good, but he had to. He was merely a few seconds away of stroking himself to the idea of her being stuffed to the brim, her pussy full of his cock while she was a moaning mess beneath him.
she was out playing a game of explorer with this man while rick was drowning himself with the guilt of imagining her perky tits pressed against him, and it wasn't like she hadn't taken a notice to his staring or just the way he loved it whenever she touched him.
a subtle hand graze was just enough to set him off, to send him to heaven and hell with the dirty thoughts lingering in him.
Alec had shown her everywhere, he'd shown her the garden and all the houses, the food pantry, he even showed her how they managed to keep all of their power just from the power of science and sun rays.
she giggled as she bit into an apple feeling the sweet juices lace over her tongue she let out a moan, a sigh of the relief and well the sweetness of the fruit in her mouth.
she hadn't eaten anything fresh in weeks, it had been almost a month since she had eaten anything remotely near fresh, they all had been eating from beat up cans or even random rabbits Daryl had been able to catch with his crossbow.
"good isn't it?" alec asked scooting a little closer to her as she took another bite before she was even done chewing the first one, she nodded her head eagerly before taking another bite.
she felt like a slob eating this way but then the thought only crossed her mind because she hadn't really cared what he was thinking of her right now because she was hungry, so hungry that she was already half way through the sweet red fruit.
"so what is with Mr scruffy?" alec asked nudging y/n as she bitterly swallowed the apple in her mouth feeling like it had gone sour from his out of the blue question about Rick.
"he's nervous that's all, he doesn't like new people or new places" she spoke honestly but left out a few of the true details about his strange behavior towards her and Alec.
She left out the fact that somehow they had a weird connection, or somehow they couldn't seem to not get jealous over anyone who came close to one another.
it was like a loop that couldn't seem to stop for the two, even if they managed to set a boundary she could tell the pressure between Rick and her was growing and starting to bottle up,
like a soda can ready to explode after its been shaking and well rick was the can in this case and Alec was the one shaking it.
-
Rick wanted to lose his damn mind, he wanted to yell and simply go ape shit once he saw the two laughing from the bathroom window, he was wrapped in a white linen towel,
it dangled just to his v-line to show off the perfect outline of it and well his abs were visible which was even more of an benefit if she were just to stop talking to that man and come up stairs.
Rick cracked the window open so he could hear about whatever the hell the two had been murmuring about for over 15 minutes, for rick it had seemed like and endless damn time loop he couldn't seem to let his mind escape from, he couldn't seem to make it stop.
"Alec i should go, it's close to meeting up with my friends it's been great you showing me around and well i'm glad i met you" she spoke honestly watching the man place a charming smile on his face while his honey eyes seemed to make her heart skip a beat.
"dinner tomorrow? just me and you please? i promise i can cook" he asked watching as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and she looked down at the jet black asphalt underneath her boots.
she left him without an answer for a few seconds watching as he shuffled and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans, "or is it the big guy that's stopping you because i can tell Deanna to come and handle him with no problem"
she licked her lips with a chuckle at his words, "he doesn't stop me from doing anything Alec, and no Deanna doesn't need to get involved with my group i think we can manage ourselves"
y/n bit back watching Alec take in the realization that he said the wrong words but she frowned softly once she realized maybe she had been just a little bit to harsh towards him.
"dinner then tomorrow at 7"
she didn't even get the chance to respond to his obviously already planned out offer because he had walked off to another side of the wall so he could fulfill his duty of keeping watch on Rick and their group even if it was just for the night and here she was about to lose her damn mind over the dinner date part.
she was surely just about to lose her mind because a handsome man asked her to dinner, a man she had only known for less than a day, but she planned on seeing and talking to him more.
After all he seemed to be sweet.
Y/n walked past the people sitting in the living room up to the room she left her bag in but the bathroom door cracked seemed to get her full attention, she hated cracked doors it was just some damn pet peeve of hers but when she saw Rick who was shaved and freshly showered her jaw seemed to fall to the ground.
"oh god" she mumbled slipping inside the bathroom making sure to shut the door behind her, "you shaved finally" y/n remarked watching as rick started the water and rested the razor against the white porcelain of the bathroom sink in front of him.
he didn't respond instead he turned his head to look at her watching as her eyes seemed to want to glance down at the sight his torso held for her, she mumbled something under her breath watching him take a step closer until she was pushed against the door,
Her back was pressed against the wood while she could feel one his hands lingering and brushing some hair from the soft skin of her neck, it sent a chill down her body as she tried to buck her hips up.
She was bucking her hips up at him, maybe to give him a message or maybe just to feel his hard cock that she knew was surely gonna poke against the white linen of the towel he had ever so sloppily wrapped around his waist, almost like he wanted it to fall.
Almost like he wanted to fuck her until her brains were scrambled, he wanted to fuck her and make her forget about whoever the hell that man was, no matter how nice he seemed.
he used his thumb to wipe over her cheek while his other hand slid down to the middle of her hips just above her cunt where he forcefully but gently pushed her against the door.
"needy huh? well you shouldn't be so wanting for me to touch you y/n, not after the game of explorer you've been playing with whatever the hell his name is"
he gestured his head behind him where he knew the window was, he knew he was still leaning against the wall with a smug look, his hands tucked in his pockets as he probably thought about y/n.
he could feel her breaths grow shallow and raspy from just the small of contact his body had on hers, he gently let her hand glide to the flat part of his abs feeling her gasp softly.
"his name is Alec, and you know damn well who i'm with shouldn't be in your level of concern" she spoke back pulling her hand away to try and make him believe that she wasn't enjoying pressing her hand against him, but hell they both knew the damn truth.
Rick cocked his head to the side softly while using one of his fingers to toy at the waistband of her jeans, "i think you know why" he spoke back watching as her eyes couldn't seem to stop glancing at the bulge that had formed underneath his towel.
"i'm not your property rick, and you can't make me" she scoffed back her eyes finally having the courage to look up at him instead, to look into his that were the color of a blank night sky.
his hands gripped a slight pressure on the side of her hips watching as it was once again an excuse for her eyes to trace down just to get another glimpse of how hard he was.
"i don't give a damn what his name was and i don't give a damn that you think i shouldn't care, you think he'd be better than me? you think he'd know how to touch you y/n? And god believe me if i need to prove you wrong i will"
he grumbled at her feeling his grip grow tighter at her waist feeling her shudder at the contact, she didn't respond except she kept her gaze on the bulge he had hidden under the cloth that she ever so desperately just wanted to tear off of him.
"stop staring and answer my question" he spoke watching her eyes look up at him once more, she licked her lips clean from the desire to look back down at him,
"w-well no, but" she froze feeling his hands start to rub its way down to the waistband of her jeans slipping them down lightly
as she tried not to pay attention. "but what y/n? finish your sentence" he spoke pulling his hands away from the denim that was now hanging just below her hips.
without even such a warning or hint to her action she reached her hand out to rub the bulge in his towel making him groan her fingers spun so perfectly through the fabric making him practically buck his hips up to get more from her, her hand rubbed a small set of circles making his voice grow raspy and huskier with each sly movement of her handwork that truly seemed to be working like a charm on him.
"you're trying to distract me" he griped at her, she could tell he was enjoying it, and maybe just a little to much, she slipped down to her knees watching as he looked down at her,
he pushed her hand away just so he could pull off her t-shirt revealing her breasts being held up by her bra, the bra that was a dark blue color that seemed to blend well with her skin.
he liked the sight of her, he liked seeing her down on her knees while she was ever so willingly playing with his cock even if it had been clothed it was all still such a damn sight for him.
she wiggled her way out of her jeans to reveal her black panties, the hem such a pretty damn lace that he knew that soon he was going to tear off of her to get access to her cunt.
her hand ripped away the towel that was wrapped around his waist, she tossed it across the bathroom floor while her eyes admired his member that was lengthy and hard right in-front of her,
she was practically drooling at the sight of it, rick's cock was long and thick, it had veins just in the right places making it even more god damn pretty to her.
she used a hand to start from the base until she made her way up to the tip of his cock using her tongue to lick off the salty clear liquid that seemed to form on top because of his eagerness.
he groaned softly while his hand reached out to tangle in her hair, he forcefully gave himself a grip at the root of her hair swirling his fingers at her scalp to keep a steady hold on her.
her tongue seemed to be like god damn magic with each way it seemed to warp around his cock each time he bobbed in and out of her mouth like a lollipop, her mouth was so full of him her eyes started to prickle and her throat felt sore.
he was bucking his hips up just a little so he could help force even more of his needy cock down her throat, he could feel her saliva starting to build and spill out onto his cock while her nails started to dig into his inner thighs.
she had a full set of prickling tears flowing down her cheeks from the pressure building up in her throat and well the fact she was trying not to gag all over his cock, she could feel him twitch in her mouth.
already so close and all she had to do was work her mouth,
but it wasn't just the pleasure her mouth was feeding him that was about to send him off the edge, it was the way she looked so pretty on her knees, the way her eyes filled with tears and the way her nails dug into his skin as she whimpered against him softly.
he had been finally able to shoot his load down her throat hearing as the breathing from her nose seemed to sharpen while her nostrils flared, her mouth was trying to take all of his seed,
once she swallowed his warm seed she pulled away from his cock, panting and her throat scratchy from the saltiness of his liquid pouring down her throat like she was a cum rag.
his chest rose up and down while he helped lift her up from her knees and pressed her back up against the door, his hard cock now pressing against her belly as she tried not to moan at the hand that was now pulling off her panties.
he wrapped them around his fingers while he admired them for just a hence of a few seconds before finally tossing them to the floor,
he used just one of his hands to un-clip the bra watching it slip off her body so peacefully. her breasts still perky while her nipples grew hard at the arousal each of his thumbs was giving them.
she let out a soft moan for him as she could feel him the one dropping to his knees to place a soft kiss on top of her cunt that was clenching on practically nothing because of how impatient and how desperate it was for any touch of his,
she whimpered tossing her hips forwards at him but he simply pushed them back and stood back up, he peppered a kiss on each of her breasts feeling as goosebumps formed on her arms.
"n-need you" she whined at him practically sinking her nails into the biceps of his arms hoping he would understand the message and once she felt the tip of his cock teasing the inner of her wet folds she knew he took the message the right way.
he allowed one of his hands to trace into her wet folds as he pulled his cock away, just to give her a taste of what she actually wanted or just what she actually needed.
she let out a loud moan feeling as his middle finger was inserted into her and when she felt his ring finger join the other in her dripping cunt she let her hands wander to the top of his shoulders planting down a firm and stable grasp for herself.
he pumped his fingers slowly inside her watching as she tried to keep back her moans by forcing her teeth to clamp down on her bottom lip, his eyes flicked up at her as he started to pump faster.
"c'mon don't be shy now let them know how good you feel" he spoke hearing as she let out a sputtered gasp at the feeling of his thumb rubbing its way in fast circles amongst her clit.
"f-fuck Rick!" she cried, "god that pretty throat of yours has so many talents" he chuckled in her ear while his hand slipped around her neck gently to rub just under her chin.
it was like she could already feel her orgasm starting to arise in her because her legs shook and her mind was a damn minefield ready to explode with profanity and dirty words that she was sure that she could no longer hold onto inside her.
"so c-close fuck i'm so close" she whimpered feeling as his other hand moved from away from her throat and down onto her breasts swapping back and forth to make sure they each got the same amount of attention from him.
the soft swirl of his thumb on each of her nipples and the feeling of his fingers inside her curling at her g-spot with each thrust was like heaven to her, she was so damn close to letting out an erotic cry once she felt the knot growing looser and looser in her stomach.
"come on, cum for me let em hear how good you are baby" with just those subtle words he could feel some of her juices spurt out onto his fingers while she made a loud set of whimpering noises so loud that even Alec was able to hear them spilling out of the bathroom window.
Rick licked his fingers clean with a smile as he made sure to clean off every ounce of her juices off of them, without a hesitation he flipped her around so that she was pressed against the door.
his cock teasing her soaked entrance while she whimpered at a finger skimming over her clit just to see how sensitive she really was, "p-please" she whined at him her fists pressed against the door.
he himself was so damn impatient, he was so needy to be inside her he could stand the teasing either, with swift up rise of his hips he thrusted into her while his full drive hearing as a scream was pulled out from the back of her throat.
-
"as i was saying Dixon, you suck at go fish and i'm going to kick your ass, i've already decided it" Michonne spoke pulling down two sevens in her deck next to the pile of her other matches.
Daryl scoffed as he licked his lips clean about to ask if she had a '6' but a loud sound coming from the bathroom stopped him, the door was rattling as a rhythmic pounding noise was coming through.
he could hear a loud cry as he furrowed his brows and looked over at the others, Glenn sat up and Rosita tossed down her knife and the piece of wood she had been whittling away at.
another cry emerged as Daryl stood up in a slight crouch position and pulled up his crossbow but Sasha grabbed his arm and forced him to put it down.
the pounding seemed to go on forever along with the set of screams that started to flood out of the bathroom, it was y/n crying and moaning aloud for Rick.
They could hear her muffled profanities faintly while the pounding didn't seem to stop, "fuck rick! god dammit right there!" she screamed so loud that they were all sure even all of the houses and buildings surrounding them had surely heard it.
"so fuckin tight this pussy" they heard a loud groan and a whine back in response, the door shaking so much from her body being pressed up against it, her tits smushed against the wood while her nipples were perky from the slight coldness it was pressing on her with.
his cock was buried so deep inside her she swore that he was re-arranging every single organ in her stomach maybe his cock had even skimmed past her own heart that's surely what it felt like to be this full of him, to be filled to the brim so much that she had tears flowing down her face and her hair a scrambled mess.
"you think Alec could fuck you like this?" rick asked bitterly as he held onto her waist to fuck into her even deeper, "n-no!" she cried almost sounding like another whimper from her.
"so fucking close" she whined so loud that she could practically feel the vibrations of her own cries, she was letting out a series of pleasureful moans while she felt his cock twitch inside her.
"i should fill you up for being so bad today" he huffed into her tugging a piece of her hair hearing a moan return back to him, he groaned feeling as his cock twitched inside her while her walls clenched around him hoping to spill its juices.
"gonna c-cum oh f-fuck!" she practically screamed feeling his hand slip around to her front to rub against her sensitive clit only making her even closer and once both of their knots untied they both let out a series of profanity while they panted.
rick could hear her whine when he pulled out of her with a soft 'pop' sound that seemed to make her legs wobble without the stability of his hands on her body, she flipped around to see him grab a rag and putting some water from the faucet on it.
he gently spread her legs while he wiped his cum clean from her, even though he loved the feeling when he thought about watching it pour from the walls of her cunt.
she hissed softly watching as rick grabbed a fresh rag to clean himself off, he helped to get her dressed by slipping back on her clothes letting them slip onto her body, she thanked him while watching him change into the fresh pair of clothes he had laid out for him after his shower.
he followed her down the stair case to see all of their friends staring at them, Rosita rolled her eyes in a slight disgust and got up to grab something from the kitchen.
Rick had been so lucky that he placed Judith and Carl in a different house with Jessie and their son Ron, maybe just to get Carl around more kids to keep him somewhat a normal person,
Daryl shook his head at y/n while he had put his crossbow against the white wall next to him, "thought a walker got in but it's just ya two fuckin" he scoffed watching as Michonne practically choked on the glass of water she was sipping on.
she coughed with a smile on her face trying to hold back the disgust and the laughter all at once, "oh god you two are horrible!" glenn piped in watching as his wife chuckled a little.
"you two fuck like dogs!" y/n remarked back taking a seat against one of the cushions rested on the floor for her, "one time in the guard tower doesn't count!" Glenn huffed back watching as Maggie raised her eyebrows while her eyes widened a little.
"that's disgusting you know i used to keep watch in that tower!"
y/n shuddered at the thought of her two best friends having sex with each other but it couldn't be as bad as hearing Rick and her going at it upstairs.
-
Alec flicked his eyes up to look at y/n who planted a kiss on Rick's cheek before she made her approach towards him, he took a bite from his oatmeal bitterly swallowing it while he looked at her.
"you were sweet trust me Alec i just have something else waiting for me i'm sorry" she spoke, she hadn't felt that bad about it, even though the situation did seem pretty shitty.
"i was only gonna pity fuck you anyways i haven't had action since this bullshit started so don't get to excited" he spoke the truth, she could tell he wasn't lying which is why she hadn't said another word instead she walked back over to her friends.
"god if he knew what an actual fuck was" she mumbled watching as rick furrowed his brows, "what?" he asked rubbing the sides of her waist watching as she smiled at him, "i think alec understands now" she spoke proudly while feeling Rick press a kiss against her neck.
"good"
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seresinhangmanjake · 10 months ago
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The One I Want: Part 13
Jake "Hangman" Seresin x plus size!reader
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Summary: You’re new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.
Notes/Warnings: smut 18+ (but like, not a lot. I settled somewhere in the middle), cursing, emotional stuff and vulnerability, fluff, angst, typos
Words: 3298
The One I Want Masterlist
“I’m thinking cake,” Jake suddenly says as he halts in place. His hand in yours stops you from continuing further into the pastry section of the grocery store. 
You fall in line beside him and scan over the individually packaged slices of vanilla and chocolate and red velvet. 
“Cake?” you ask, running your eyes from his head to his toes and back. “I have to be honest, Jake, you look like you haven’t had a piece of cake in your life.”
He didn’t even have any on his birthday a couple weeks ago and, in your opinion, that says a lot. A birthday, and not one of his friends complained about the lack of dessert to celebrate. Even alone in your cheap as fuck apartment with no furniture and walls tinged yellow from previous tenants’ smoking addictions you had cake on your birthday. One cupcake, one candle, one wish that had an entire three hundred and sixty-five days to come true but never did. 
Actually, maybe the ‘no birthday cake’ thing is smart. Less chance for disappointment.
“I’ve had cake.” He playfully nudges his shoulder into yours. “Not in a while, granted, but it did happen,” he says. “Plus, out of everything here, this will be the least messy in bed.”
‘Just to sleep,’ he had quickly clarified earlier after suggesting you share the same bed. Your mouth was wide open, a forkful of spaghetti frozen in mid-air as he nervously smiled at you from across the restaurant’s table. “I just thought it might be nice, but if you hate the idea we don’t have to.”
You’d teased that if you were going to get in bed with a man you wanted dessert first, but Jake took it rather seriously. And after deciding the restaurant’s creme brulee or sorbet would not travel well, he said, “We’ll have to make a pit stop.”
“I’m good with cake,” you chuckle, picking up a slice. He does the same. 
“Want anything else?”
You snort. “Are you going for a dessert buffet in your bed?”
He smiles and shakes his head. He raises your hand and his lips brush over your knuckles. “I just want to make sure you’re happy.”
You stare at him long enough for his smile to fade and his brow to knit and his head to tilt in question, and it’s so annoyingly endearing you don’t understand how you woke every morning of your life without someone like Jake Seresin. Someone who crafts smiles only for you. Someone who pays attention to your expressions and moods and alters their own in response. Someone who makes your heart want to snap the prison that is your ribcage and break through the wall of your chest so it can go burrow into his. 
“I’m happy with you, Jake,” you say. “The cake is a bonus.”
His smile returns and your whole body swells with pride, because you did that. You salvaged the perfect curve of his lips that spread to reveal a row of perfect teeth. You brought back the delicate wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and the sparkle that glints in the green. 
Jake leans in and presses his lips to yours, gently so as to not embarrass you while the possibility of whispers and glares from fellow shoppers exists. But the kiss doesn’t match the rest of him. You can sense the tension in his body. 
The plastic container holding the cake makes a loud pop under the pressure of his fingers, and you know he’d drop it if he could; make a mess on the floor so that hand could be free to touch you however it wants. 
But Jake thinks about others, and it’s an ‘other’ that would have to clean up his moment of inconsiderate behavior, but thankfully, he is not that brand of asshole. You’ve been that ‘other’ in the past and you don’t care for a reminder of how rude people can be when they only care about themselves, especially not a reminder in the form of Jake. 
“Let’s go,” he whispers against your lips, “before you get me into trouble.”
“Well,” you begin as you swallow the last bite and lick the remainder of the frosting off the fork, “It definitely tastes better in bed.” 
Jake chuckles, accepting your empty container and fork so they can join his on his nightstand. “I’m glad there’s another reason for you to want to be in my bed.”
With an arch to your brow, you rest your head against his headboard. “Another reason?”
“Yes,” he says before he holds up three fingers. His left index finger taps his right. “Reason one: I’m pretty sure you like me, or, knowing you, you wouldn’t have agreed to the suggestion. That’s the best reason.” You grin and roll your eyes as he taps his middle finger. “Reason two: cake tastes better in my bed. My bed, not any other guy’s bed so don’t go trying that out.”
Jake’s face lights up with your laugh. “I won't,” you say. “Reason three?”
“Three is sleeping next to each other,” he replies, wiggling his ring finger. “I know we haven’t actually done that yet, but I promise I’ll be a damn good cuddler. You won’t ever want to leave.”
He didn’t have to say that for you to be well aware of it. Jake hasn’t even wrapped his arms around you yet and you’re already wishing to stave off morning so that once you're snuggled against the shape of his body you can stay there for as long as possible.
“Four?” you ask. 
Jake swallows, suddenly misplacing a bit of his confidence, and it doesn't take much for you to figure out why. Most additional, and frankly, obvious, reasons to want to be in his bed lie outside of tested territory. The next logical steps of your relationship have gone undiscussed. 
You know he’s waiting for you. Permitting his hands to touch more of your body recently is not enough for him to make his own moves. No matter how close his fingers come to the zippers of your clothes or your fingers get to the button of his jeans, it's not the flashing green light he needs to take things further. 
But you can’t blame him. His pause is your creation, and while he hasn’t pushed for more, you know he badly he wants it. You want it, too, despite how you’ve acted.
Before, you weren’t sure if being with Jake would take something away from you, some sense of self that you’ve just reclaimed after years of people stealing their portion of you. Because, unlikely as it may sound, nothing is impossible; you’ve been misled more than once, and you couldn’t shake the one-percent chance that Jake would steal his portion, too. 
But that was the invasion of your still damaged—but healing—mind. That was prior to him spilling his emotions so you could see for yourself how you make him feel. When you listen to your heart, the thought that Jake would leave you feeling hollow or lost or discarded after being with him becomes so unbelievable, so weightless and unformed, you couldn’t speak it aloud if you tried. In no life, world, universe, or alternate existence would Jake do that to you. Of that, you are positive.
“I’m still working on four,” he says. 
Reaching over, you uncurl his pinky so it’s extended alongside the other three. Your thumb rubs slowly up and down the inside of that finger. 
“Four is easy,” you tell him.
“Easy?” His eyes follow your body as you sit up and straddle him. 
Palms land on your thighs and slide up, over your cotton shorts and hips, and under your shirt. His thumbs stroke the soft flesh of your navel as you rest your hands on the curves where his neck meets his shoulders. Your lips seal to his, and you kiss each other like you always do. Like he’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted. Like you’re a drug he can't get enough of. 
You start to shift your hips, grinding downward, and though you get the pleasure of hearing his grunt, you know it’s not enough for him to understand that you want more, so you do it again. And again. And again, until his fingers are digging into your skin and he’s pulling you down harder against him with each of your motions. 
But then, as if dunked in a bucket of ice water, he freezes. His lips are gone and he’s gripping you tight enough to stop you.
“Where are you going with this, beautiful?” he asks through heavy breaths, and you smile at how willing he is to sacrifice so much oxygen just to kiss you. 
Leaning back, you slip your hand through the space between your bodies. Your fingers lightly trace along the band of his sweatpants before dipping behind the soft material and wrapping around him. His whole body jerks. Any words he might have said next lose to the gasp that leaves his mouth. 
“Reason four,” you whisper, pulling him free. 
“Fuck,” he hisses, falling back and letting the headboard support his weight.
You pump your hand once, twice, then shimmy down the mattress until your breath is ghosting over the hardness in your hand. 
“H-Hey, whoa, wait, wait,” he rushes out, hand clasping your wrist. “Beautiful, this is not why I asked if you wanted to sleep in my bed. I don’t need anything like this to make being with you worth it for me, you know that, right?” 
“Do you want me to stop?”
Your thumb runs over his tip and his eyes screw shut. “Just tell me you know that.” When they open again, they’re full of desperation. “Please.”
“I know that,” you say with a nod and a reassuring smile. “But what if I want to do this? Even if I want it, do you want me to stop?”
“You can’t ask me that question when you’re looking at me like that.”
“Jake, do you want me to stop?” you ask once more, punctuating each word with a slight pause.
A bulge forms in his throat as he gulps. When he shakes his head, you close your mouth around him. 
The whimper you pull from him is immediately added to the list of things you love about Jake Seresin—a sound so unexpected that a rush of excitement shoots through you, straight to your core, and all you want is to hear it on repeat until it’s seared into your mind. You take him in deep, deeper with every bob of your head, and when he nudges the back of your throat, his thighs tense, his hand flies to the back of your head, and his hips involuntarily buck upwards. 
The resulting choking noise sobers him. 
“Oh my god,” he sputters, removing his hand as if burned. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—” He cuts himself off with a moan as you suck hard on his tip and flick your tongue along its underside before releasing him.
Guilt is splashed across his features when your eyes meet his, but it eases when you grin and grab his hand, pulling it to your face so he’s cupping your cheek. Leaning into his palm, Jake expels a held-in breath and his face softens at knowing he didn’t hurt you. His thumb slides over your cheekbone. He smiles.
“Can I be inside you?” he asks.
Jake’s touch doesn’t fall from your face as you crawl up his body. His stare doesn’t break. When you’re close, his fingers weave into your hair and he guides you into his kiss. 
“Is this a yes?” he whispers. 
You sit up in front of him, your knees on either side of his legs. 
“Yes” is a half-second off your tongue and Jake is tucking his thumbs into the waist of your sleep shorts, slowly pushing them over your ass and down your thighs. Those green eyes drink you in, and while your skin flushes under the intensity of his gaze, you feel him filling you with confidence. 
The fact that he bothers to look at you at all makes you want to give him everything. No other man took the time to really look at you—to appreciate you. It was whip-quick criticisms before dull, drunken, lazy, uninspired, over-before-it-even-started sex where they were closing their eyes from either an inability to keep them open or to imagine someone else in place of you. But Jake practically absorbs every inch of you that he can see.
Rough fingertips graze through your folds. His thumb rolls over the sensitive little bud and your body shudders, chasing after his hand even as he pulls it away to examine the slickness now coating his fingers. 
“Fuck,” is almost inaudible from his lips. “You’re gonna ruin me,” you think you hear him say, but it’s drowned out by the pounding pulse in your ears.
You don’t stop to dwell on what you think you might’ve heard and instead reach for the hem of your t-shirt to pull it over your head. Jake blinks, glances up at you, and then everything descends into a flurry of hurried movements as you discard your shorts and Jake yanks his shirt over his head, reaches into the bedside drawer for a condom, tears the packet open, and rolls it down his length. His sweatpants are pushed farther down his legs, then with his hands gripping your thighs just below your ass, he pulls you to him, spreads you open, and guides you down until you’re seated on top of him and his entire cock is fit snugly inside of you. 
The air is punched out of your lungs as your walls welcome and flutter around him. Your words are half-formed curses and mutterings of pleasure as Jake groans and wraps his arms around you, hugging you to his body. 
His forehead falls against your chest. “You have no idea…” he says through a weak breath, “no idea how much I've–”
“Yes, I do,” you whisper to him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “You're not the only one who has wanted this.”
Jake nods. He plants a gentle kiss on the smooth swell of each of your breasts. Then, at an agonizingly slow pace, you lift your hips and sink back down onto him. Supported by Jake’s strength, you lift and sink and lift and sink, feeling every ridge and every curve of every vein of his cock as he slides in and out of you. 
He’s so different and so good and you’re so satisfied to know that you were right. Jake Seresin will never leave you feeling lost. But he does allow you to lose yourself, to let go, to be free and safe in the company of his kisses and moans and touch. He allows you to be you—the you that is happy and cared for. The you that is loved.
It’s not often that you are a heavy sleeper, but Jake dragged you into a blissful peace so welcoming and comfortable that for the first night in a long time, you went undisturbed. That peace made it through the night, into the early hours of morning, and remained as sunlight trickled through the curtains to wake you.
Your eyelids flutter open and you glance to where Jake’s arm is draped over your waist. As you flip over, his brow pinches and that arm tucks you back into him so your chest is to his. You think he’s about to join you in waking, but when his unconscious is satisfied with the new positioning of your bodies, his barely-there snores resume. Chuckling, you press your lips to his in a quick kiss that smoothes the crease between his brows. 
He’s so beautiful like this. Mouth parted, hair touseled, muscles relaxed, with eyelashes resting on his cheeks. They’re much longer than you realized. The tips are blond and against his tanned skin, they’re almost luminescent. You want to run your finger over them, but that will force him awake, and he looks far from ready to rise for the day, so you don’t.
You consider getting out of bed; an idea quickly washed away when you weigh how cozy and warm Jake is compared to the rest of the room. Not to mention, you can’t say for sure exactly where your clothes are other than that they are definitely somewhere in Jake’s room. Those combined, you refuse to move, and not moving leads your eyes to close, which leads you back into that peaceful sleep. 
It’s hours later when you stir. You notice your clothes are folded by your feet and you look beside you to find Jake missing. But you hear his voice—his and another’s. 
Tossing the comforter off your legs, you dress and tiptoe your way to Jake’s door. The sliver of space between the door and its frame is not wide enough for you to see anything other than the framed pictures on the living room wall, but it doesn’t inhibit your ability to pick up the conversation you can tell is coming from the kitchen. 
“You haven’t told her?” you hear in Millie’s sweet, southern tone. “I can’t keep up with you two.”
“I was going to tell her at dinner,” Jake defends, “but things were good and she was happy. And I was going to try again once we got back here but I pictured the look on her face when she cries and it kills me, Millie.”
Your throat suddenly feels swollen and you struggle to swallow as you press yourself as close to the opening in the doorway as possible. 
“Honey, I know you don’t wanna hurt her, but there’s no way around this,” Millie says.
“I know.” He sighs heavily. “Can you do me a favor, though? Can you watch out for her?”
“Of course, but Jake, she can handle herself.”
“I know she can. She’s better at that than most people will ever be,” he tells her. “But you wouldn’t be doing this for her, you’d be doing it for me. I can’t stand the thought of her feeling alone,” he says. “I can’t take that with me.”
“She won’t be alone,” your friend says, but Jake doesn’t respond. “Jake, I promise.”
You can’t see what he does; if he nods, if he smiles, if he mouths a silent ‘thank you’. They’re both quiet, so you’re quieter. 
In their silence, you try to process the words you’ve heard, but Millie’s sweet voice interrupts your racing thoughts. 
“You boys need to be careful and bring each other home,” she tells Jake. “Your ladies are gonna be waitin’ on you.”
“Assuming mine won’t hate me for not telling her the minute I knew about it.”
“You only found out yesterday,” Millie says. “It’s not easy. Bradley hates tellin’ me, too…this time especially.”
You don’t if they say more because, once again, Jake has your pulse going so strong and fast that it’s pounding in your ears, but now for an entirely different reason than last night. Your heart plummets into your stomach and you inch away from the door until the back of your knees hit the mattress, forcing you to sit. As stiffness settles into your limbs, your spine goes limp as a noodle and you’re sure your posture shows it, but you don’t have it in you to stretch out your arms and legs or strengthen your back. You’re a dead weight on the bed. Dead and damp from the tear that leaked down your cheek onto your thigh. 
It’s the first tear of what you know will be many more to come. 
Because soon, Jake will be leaving.
---
tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @penguin876 @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @emilyoflanternhill @wretchedmo @shanimallina87 @crowsreadsarahjmaas @mamachasesmayhem @sky2nd @jessicab1991 @rosedurin @averyhotchner @horseshoegirl @roosteraloha @b-bradshaw @elite4cekalyma @buckysteveloki-me @shelbycillian @kissmethric3 @fox-bee926 @hangmandruigandmav @waltermis @fandom-life-12 @a-serene-place-to-be @bruher @tngrace @mamaskillerqueen @emma8895eb @benedictsvestcollection @blackwidownat2814 @himbos-on-ice @hookslove1592 @alwaysclassyeagle
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laurentpark · 6 months ago
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don’t tell my boyfriend! — [4] better than me
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synopsis. where jimin stalks her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend after a certain incident happened and couldn’t help but grow hatred over her. coincidentally, her and jimin happen to be global ambassadors of the same famous luxury brand and have to work together for a commercial. at first, jimin despised the girl with all her flesh and bones but soon understands why her boyfriend fell for the young actress in the first place… because she was starting to fall for the young actress as well.
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“minjeong, is that you?”
the short-haired girl curses underneath her breathe once she heard her leader call out for her. what was supposed to be a trip to the kitchen to grab a cold glass of water might just turn into a therapy session after what the older girl is going through right now.
“yeah, it is.” minjeong responds before turning back to see jimin still at full focus into the tv screen, eyes glued, as her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
minjeong wasn’t particularly a nosy person, let alone gets in interested in things but she was invested in what show or movie the leader is so invested in to stay up all night rather than sleeping especially after a full day of practicing.
her gaze travels from the back of jimin’s head to the tv screen, there showing a close up shot of jaewook’s face before it cuts back to a close up shot of y/n.
then a kissing scene arrives.
minjeong looks back at her leader with concern and sympathy evident in her expression. “that’s the last show you should be watching.”
“they look good together, no?” was all jimin responded.
“mind telling me why you’re watching a romance drama with your boyfriend as the male lead in the first place?”
“they dated.” jimin pauses the show, the tv stuck on y/n’s face which jimin took the time and examine the actress’s features. “him and y/n…they dated.”
the eldest member explains as she never took her gaze off the screen, her eyes glued onto it as if she was being hypnotized by the actress’s beauty. despite this, she could feel her throat tighten, fists clenched in anger…perhaps even in envy, she could feel her head being filled with hatred the more she thought of the girl.
minjeong takes notice of this and raises her brow.
“unnie, don’t tell me you’re jea-“
“i’m not!” jimin snaps, gritting her teeth as she tears her gaze from the tv and looks her younger member deeply in the eyes. “have it my way, winter. your boyfriend is only dating you to get over his ex. their fans are spreading hate all over your social media. but what i hate the most is that she’s so much more better than me!”
“what are you talking about?” minjeong’s voice was gentle and laced with concern. “what do you mean he’s only dating you to get over his ex?”
“you know how aeri somehow knows everything, right?” minjeong nods her head in response. “she revealed to me last night how i might just be a rebound to jaewook after all.”
minjeong’s gaze hardens. “explain.”
“right before i asked him out- y/n apparently broke up with him.” jimin sighs as she grips on the couch tightly before looking back at the tv screen. “and the worst thing is i can’t even compete.”
“unnie…” minjeong’s spoke in a gentle tone, stepping closer towards her leader and gives her a comforting hug coming from the back. “do you know what i would do?”
“what?”
“talk with jaewook.” minjeong responds. “ask him about the truth, if he shared any feelings with me in the first place. it’d be unfair if you broke up with him right off the back, you should talk. have proper communication and try to understand each other. who knows, maybe he did accept your confession to get over y/n but eventually fell for you the more you spent time together.”
“you think so?” minjeong nods silently. “should i give him a chance then?”
“collect your thoughts and talk to him later.” minjeong advised to the leader. “try to work things out. it’d be waste for you to break things off just after you confirmed the dating news.”
“yeah…i should that.” the leader agrees with her younger member and flashes her a small smile. “you know for someone who barely talks, you give pretty good advice.”
“don’t expect this to become an everyday occasion.”
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pre-chap. next chap. masterlist
tags. @xen248 @thefckghost @yunalvrrr @yeetaberry127 @lisaswifey @gtfoiydlyj @seunghancore @jeindall777 @multiliker @hyejin67 @1luvkarina @cwpiqwon @sunshinez4 @yoontoonwhs @wintersgff @celtyryuko @sixflame438 @rinapomu @ahnneyong @gayforalll @yukianism @winieter @inybits @nctislifue @pandafuriosa60
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pinkiemachine · 6 months ago
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GOTHAM FILES: SEASON 5
JASON TODD IS ALIVE!!!
Ra’s Al Ghul has brought him back to life and intends to give him back to Bruce as a reconciliation gift. The only thing is, the Lazarus Pit can have… interesting effects on people, especially when bringing them back to life. In Jason’s case, he comes back with a serious case of brain fog, with some slightly psychotic tendencies. Ra’s can’t return Jason like this, so he spends the next few months rehabilitating the boy and training him with the League. He’ll be such a fine warrior, not only will Bruce be getting his protégé back, but he’ll be in better shape than when he died. Little by little, though, Jason is beginning to come back to his senses, his memories return, and he begins to question where he is and what he’s doing. This isn’t right… where’s Bruce? Where’s Alfred? Why isn’t he in Gotham anymore? In a panic, somewhat brought on by the side effects of the Pit, Jason escapes the League of Shadows and winds up totally alone, totally lost in West Asia, trying to get back home. The League of Shadows goes after him, and he has to outrun them any way he can, and after a long, harrowing adventure where he jumps all around Asia, South-East Asia, and Australia, he is finally on the fast track to getting back to the States and Gotham. He’s thrilled to be back home, but the first thing he sees when he looks at the news… is Batman… and a new Robin… saving the city. He heads to the Manor to see for himself and finds Tim Drake sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms. There’s still some Lazarus Madness in his head, so he doesn’t take this so well at first. It gets worse when he realises that Joker is still alive. Batman never avenged him. Cue the events of “Under the Red Hood” where Jason takes down a gang of thugs, takes the identity of their leader, “The Red Hood,” and starts tearing up Gotham, looking for Joker, while simultaneously poking Bruce at every available opportunity. And then, when the truth is finally revealed about who Red Hood is, Ra’s shows up and tries to be all, “Look! I brought Jason back for you! Surprise? Heheh… now come marry my daughter.” And Bruce is like…. “No.” Ra’s warns him, though, that if he doesn’t join him now, he’s going to be in for a few surprises soon. He still refuses. Ra’s slinks off back to the Shadows.
Anyway, the point is, Bruce is confronted by Jason regarding Joker. Jay doesn’t hold a grudge against Bruce for not being able to save him—it was Jason’s own fault that he wound up that situation in the first place—but what he is ticked about is the fact that Joker’s still alive, and, well, to a lesser extent that he’s been kinda replaced, but it’s mostly the Joker thing. But since Jason isn’t Robin anymore, he’s not playing by Batman’s rules. He’s going to do what Batman couldn’t, and be the hero Gotham really needs. He’s going to end the Joker once and for all. Bruce tries to stop him. Killing isn’t the answer. It’s a quick fix, but it’s no guarantee that another Joker won’t pop up tomorrow, and worse… Bruce isn’t prepared to lose what’s left of his humanity. He’s traveling a dark enough path as it is. He refuses to let himself fall further and become the very thing he hates. He doesn’t want that for Jason either. In the end though, due to Bruce and Jason fighting, Joker gets away (he does wind up getting hurt bad enough that he loses sight in one eye, though), and Bruce begs Jason to come home. He’s just so immensely relieved to see him alive! But Jason… he’s not the same kid he was when he went under. He’s not Bruce’s Robin anymore and he still plans on killing Joker. It’s time they parted ways. For good.
So, yeah, the falling out part is real sad… and everyone’s brooding over what happened, and Dick even tries to find and talk to Jason, but that doesn’t help. It looks like Jay’s not ever going to be part of the BatFam again… until this happens:
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Jason is rightfully ticked at Bruce, but they can shelve that long conversation for a later date. Right now they’ve gotta MOVE if they want to get Tim home alive. Everyone gets called in, Nightwing, Batgirl, Spoiler, even Starfire shows up, as she and Dick have been dating for a while now. Joker’s come up with a real twisted scheme this time, one that really throws the crew for a loop as they try to figure it all out, and Joker nearly has enough time to psychologically torture Tim (giving the Batman: Beyond film flashbacks!) but before Tim can be all twisted up into mini-Joker, his team arrives and they save him just in the nick of time!
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Jason is ultimately the one to grab him, and in a way he confronts his own trauma by sparing Tim from a similar fate. This is how they bond and become one of the closer pairs in the BatFam. Jason really kicked into “Protective Older Brother Mode.”
After that scare, Batman keeps Jason from killing Joker and he’s instead locked up tight in Arkham Asylum. Again. Hopefully this time he won’t break out… hopefully. Now Jason can really chew Bruce out, but the main thing this adventure did was force them all to work together again. And maybe Jason won’t really be too far away from now on. He’s still gonna have his own place and do his own thing, but… he still does care about Bruce… and he does think of Dick and Tim as brothers… and Alfred is the best. Jason will be around.
The season goes on for a bit longer, tackling a few other stories, etc, etc, and then it ends with Dick proposing to Starfire… and Ra’s kidnapping Bruce again, but this time, it’s not to force him to marry Talia… mostly. This time, he’s got something to tell Bruce. There’s someone he needs to meet. His son, Damian Wayne. Way back in season 1, Talia had stolen some… “DNA” from Bruce while he was captured, and they had used it, in conjunction with her own… “DNA” to create Damian. She and Ra’s had been raising him for the past ten years, training him to be the perfect weapon, the perfect leader, and the perfect heir to the throne of the League of Shadows. Now it was time for the next stage in his studies. Talia had taught him just about everything she knew. Now it was Bruce’s turn. Besides, the boy had wanted to meet his father. Ra’s declares that Damian will go live with Bruce for five years, and then return home.
…So, long story short, Bruce winds up back in Gotham on the heels of Dick’s engagement with the ten-year-old son he never knew he had.
These next few years are gonna be fun.
Part 6 👇
Part 4 👇
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