#i hate feeling like this it's so fucking humiliating
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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦
here is the sex tape w/abby ! ty for all the votes on the poll my loves >_<
abby anderson x fem reader
cw: sex tapes, soft dom top abby, sub bottom reader, strap referred to as dick/cock, masturbation mention, modern setting bc what else do i write
abby hates plenty of things. she hates when the machines she wants to use are taken at the gym. she hates when people watch videos in public without headphones. she hates when her hair won’t cooperate in the morning when she tries to braid it. but there’s one thing she hates more than all.
being away from you.
not being able to wake up with you, kiss you, touch you. it’s torture. so when she finds out she has to go on a work trip for a week, she’s crushed.
but you have a plan. a plan that involves her having something to hold her over for a week. if she can’t touch you, she can at least watch herself touch you.
and that’s how you end up here, in your bed, with abby’s phone propped up against some books on the bedside table.
abby’s strong hands are holding your legs open, her warm mouth gently suckling your clit. every moan and whimper that leaves your mouth has her grinding her hips against the plush duvet cover.
“oh baby,” she groans into you. “keep moaning for me, just like that. i love your noises so much.”
despite her rough exterior and intimidating personality, abby is so gentle with you. taking you apart with her tongue like you’re made of glass and will break at any moment.
“cum in my mouth, babygirl. cum for me and you can have my dick.”
you look over at the phone, a bit embarrassed at the idea of cumming on camera. sure, this was your idea. but in the moment it feels humiliating.
“abby…s’embarrassing,” you whine.
her tongue is unrelenting, and despite how uncomfortable it may feel to have it on camera, you can’t stop yourself from cumming as she laps at your sopping cunt.
abby kisses you gently, giving you a taste of yourself.
“there you go, sweetheart. came all over my face like a good girl.”
you moan at the praise, satisfied that you’re making her happy.
“and since you did what i asked, you can have my cock now.”
abby lines herself up, slowly stretching your aching pussy. her cock reaches parts of you that your fingers can’t even dream of. she knows exactly how to make you feel good.
her pace starts off slow and deep, making sure you can feel every inch of her cock inside of you.
“look how deep i am…i can’t wait to fuck myself while watching this in my hotel.”
you can’t help but whimper at that, imagining abby in her hotel room, three fingers deep in her cunt as she watches herself fuck you. horny, touch starved abby drooling at the sight of her own cock inside you.
“it’s so deep, abs…shit,” you groan, spreading your legs further. you need her deep, hard, and fast.
“need it faster. please abby.”
and she’ll do anything to make you feel good, so of course you get it faster. she’d go at the speed of light if it made your moans get louder and your legs shakier.
abby’s thrusts quicken, hips slapping against your thighs and ass as she fucks you.
“look at the camera, baby. watch yourself getting fucked on camera. shit…my little porn star, aren’t you?”
your face turns to the phone, and fuck, you could do this every day. knowing that abby is rearranging your guts, and she’ll have that all to herself. her own personal porno. just for her to get off.
“m’gonna cum, abby. please let me cum.”
abby fucking whines at your pleas, increasing the speed of her thrusts and gently circling your pulsing clit with her thumb.
“cum on my dick, sweet girl. cum all over it on camera. fuck.”
your jaw goes slack, eyes rolling to the back of your skull as you cum, making direct eye contact with phone. you want abby to see you cum whenever she wants to. whenever she needs to see it, she can see it.
abby slowly fucks you through your orgasm, decreasing her pace as you come down from your high. she pulls her cock out of you gently, groaning at the sight of it covered in your slick.
“you came so well for me, sweetheart,” she says to your panting, limp figure. she gets off the bed and turns the camera off, knowing that she’ll be satisfied for the whole work trip.
#abby anderson x reader#abby the last of us#abby tlou#abby anderson#abby x reader#abby anderson smut#abby x fem!reader#the last of us#tlou
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𝐃𝐞𝐛í 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐫 𝐦á𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐬 𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐯𝐞
pairing : sukuna x gn!reader
word count: 2.5k
a/n: no synopsis because i feel like the title speaks for itself, enjoy.
tags: @sterzin @strachomir @moonlitwitchdaisy @baepsays
cw: angst, angst and more angst, ex bf! sukuna hates himself and self sabotages himself, modern au, sukuna is jin's twin brother and yuji's uncle, unckuna stans rise!!!!
Sukuna should have taken more photos of you.
It’s a realisation that hits him when he’s scrolling through his feed, watching everyone and their fucking mother share the best moments from the past year. He grimaces to himself, evaluating over the past year and deciding it was completely shit.
Nonetheless, he would never do some sentimental shit like that. It’s not his character and never will be.
But instead, he wishes he had more photos of you. Not for others to see, only him. And maybe for his nephew Yuji when he asks.
He won’t shut up about you everytime Sukuna visits and it takes everything within Sukuna to not break down right there and then. Instead he goes to take a breather, ignoring the heavy drop in his stomach at the mention of your name.
But Jin can tell he’s not doing well just by Sukuna’s frown and fidgeting hands. He overhears Sukuna telling Yuji an excuse about how busy you are. Last week was the excuse that you were out of town visiting your parents in the south. Now, he wonders how creative his excuse will be next week. Maybe you’re in another country entirely.
No. Sukuna wouldn’t wish that. Ever.
‘You do realise you’ll have to tell him someday?’ Jin murmurs. The kitchen is quiet, safe for the metal cutlery Sukuna is putting away whilst his brother cleans up. His hands are soapy and the water swishes side to side in the sink, threatening to spill but Jin never lets it happen.
The dimmed lighting and the past scent of dinner remains, creating a soft glow over the Itadori brothers. Yuji’s already tucked into bed, an early bedtime for school tomorrow and Sukuna promised to drop him off the next morning. But this current moment is slow and private — one of the rare times where Sukuna doesn’t have to put on an act for Yuji and pretend nothing has happened.
Sukuna hates his twin brother for many things like having shit taste in ice cream flavour but if he had to pick one thing, and one thing only to be mad about, it would be the fact that he knows him so well.
(too well.)
Jin’s ability to read his mind without a word ever having to leave Sukuna’s mouth has existed since they were kids.
Some might say it’s twin telepathy but Sukuna doesn’t believe in that shit. There was this one instance where a kid had pushed over another kid in the playground, leaving the boy to cry away in the corner, too afraid to tell the teachers who had done it. Nothing needed to be said but Jin had a suspicious feeling as to who was responsible.
‘You pushed him over Sukuna I know you did.’
‘You didn’t see me!’
‘But I can tell, by your face.’
Sukuna’s face frowns heavily, chubby cheeks turning red. He doesn’t reply.
‘Own up to it, it’s the right thing to do.’ Jin murmurs. He isn’t angry but his voice is soft, which further frustrates Sukuna. He knows Jin never gets angry, no matter what. Even when he broke his favourite toy the other day.
‘I didn’t do it.’
‘I know you did. You can’t lie to me.’
‘Or what?’ sukuna spat.
‘Or I tell everyone you still wet the bed at the age of six and you know they’ll believe me because you’re my brother.’
Brother.
Sukuna growls under his breath, kicking the gravel of the playground. Some kind of brother if you threaten your own twin by humiliation. To say the least Sukuna got his punishment: a letter written home to his dad and he was grounded for a week.
Even now in the small kitchen where Yuji’s drawings hang on the fridge Sukuna feels the pressure from his twin. Jin’s always been the mature one out of the two. He always knows what to say, the right things to say in fact, which is what scares Sukuna the most.
The atmosphere is still calm and quiet, so much so Sukuna can hear his own heartbeat in his ears, waiting for the words to leave from his brother’s lips. Another pause lingers over them, Sukuna now moving on to dry the plates before Jin finally speaks.
‘You have to tell him.’
There it is.
Sukuna lets out a deep hum immediately knowing that he’s referring to Yuji. Jin lets out a sigh before continuing. He rinses off his soapy hands before drying them with a cloth.
‘You’ll run out of excuses one day and you will have to explain that they left. Not necessarily why, but let him know that…it’s the least you can do.’
Sukuna doesn’t look up, suddenly intrigued by drying the plates. They gleam under the light with the soap washing dish fragrant lingering on the fine china.
Sukuna doesn’t speak for the next two minutes, letting his mind ponder over what to say next. Again, it’s the privacy and comfort of his brother’s home that allows Sukuna to be vulnerable. Within these four walls, no one else but Jin can see the true character of Sukuna. Outside of these walls, you were close to figuring him out too.
‘I don’t wanna hurt him.’ Sukuna’s voice is soft, barely echoing within the walls of the kitchen. For the first time in what seems like forever, Sukuna’s soul is left bare and vulnerable. He feels pathetic and he knows he’s kidding himself by making up excuses to Yuji. Perhaps it’s denial that you’ve left or the childish belief that if he keeps telling these lies then one of these days you will actually come back and prove him wrong.
(you always did.)
‘You’re hurting him by not telling him.’ Jin speaks. There’s caution in his voice despite the softness. ‘The more you keep it away from him the more he’ll catch on. Yuji’s a smart kid, he’ll figure it out one way or another but he won’t necessarily catch onto the whole truth.’
‘What do you mean?’ Sukuna croaks. He finally looks at his brother, his stomach churning with anxiety as Jin’s words digest in his head.
‘I mean, if you don’t tell him the truth, Yuji will think that maybe they don’t want to see him anymore and that will hurt him more than your excuses.’
Sukuna’s shoulders drop. Once again, his brother was right.
Jin’s words from their childhood rings in Sukuna’s mind. ‘It’s the right thing to do.’
He wants it all to stop. To take back time and reverse it, to reset everything that he’s done. All he seems to do is hurt people. First you and now Yuji, all his life he seems to cause nothing but pain; nothing he seems to do is right.
‘You need to tell him Sukuna. Tomorrow.’ Jin warns, his glasses resting against the bridge of his nose. ‘It’ll break him by not telling him and it breaks you even more by keeping the truth from him. I can see it in your eyes everytime their name is mentioned, you might not think anyone notices but I do… and Yuji will realise it too one day.’
Sukuna says nothing more, hoping that the silence suddenly awakens and swallows him up whole. He continues to hope this as he finishes tidying away the dishes and it follows him as he slips on his shoes and leaves Jin’s house, the overwhelming sense of dread becoming his personal shadow in the winter cold on the way back to his own apartment.
It fills every waking moment of his mind even as he lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling unable to sleep with Jin’s words echoing in his head. As a distraction he picks his phone up from the bedside table, heading straight to his photos app.
There it is.
The album is titled with your name. It’s a whole collection of you. And only you. If he was ever in the photos he’d make sure to crop himself out, making you the highlight.
He finds the first photo, right at the top of his camera roll. You had taken the photo accidentally when he gave you his phone to exchange numbers.
The first time he met you. You were evidently nervous and barely able to make eye contact with a guy like him. Sukuna admits his persona is scary to those who don’t know him as well viewing his resting face as frustration or anger. You grew to learn that it was just him simply being…him. He scrolls.
The first date he ever took you on. yeah, it wasn’t the best restaurant in the whole city but the dessert you ate that night soon became your all time favourite. Sukuna hasn’t been able to eat there again since you left him. He scrolls.
The first time you had argued. It was petty, the reasoning behind that disagreement was something that he can’t even remember. It was miniscule but nonetheless he had snapped at you and you regressed, giving him nothing but silence in return. Since then you made clear boundaries with him and he didn’t raise his voice at you again. The photo is blurry, accidentally taken but your face can still be seen. You’re upset and he doesn’t like that but it’s a reminder for him to do better. Or at least it was. This would be just one of the many times that he’s made you feel that way. He scrolls.
There’s more as he scrolls. The two of you at an arcade… you in his car on a late night drive…the two of you getting drunk on your couch like losers… you cooking for him when he was ill… and Sukuna hesitates on a specific photo of and a pic of you and yuji. From the first day that you met him and Jin. You held a book in your lap with Yuji by your side, Sukuna kept smirking on how Yuji kept looking at you rather than the story.
He continues to scroll.
Your first time at the beach together. The way his eyes kept glancing at you in your swimwear, a light blush appearing across his cheeks. There’s multiple photos from that day: ones where the sun highlights your smile, making your skin glow. There’s more ones where you’re not looking deeply invested in building the perfect sandcastle. Photos of you getting ice cream on your nose, sand all over your hands with sun kissed lips. Lips that he kissed again.
The first time you slept over, your body next to his. Your eyes are closed, mouth agape as you snore away on his chest. He remembers that night more vividly than any other night, the way that your soft body fits perfectly against his own. Sukuna never thought he’d let anyone within his proximity let alone sleep on his chest. The next morning he remembers you having marks on your cheeks, evidence that you had a good night’s sleep. Sukuna also remembers sleeping really well that night, for the first time in forever.
Sukuna also took a video of you sleeping, originally taken just to make fun of your snoring. You begged him to delete it but the video of that is still on his phone, along with the hundreds of photos of you in his camera roll that he hasn’t bothered to delete. Yet. ( or ever)
He should have taken more photos of you.
But even more than that, he should have kissed you and hugged you more. Sure Sukuna wasn’t the pda type but even so, you shouldn’t have to beg for his attention or private affection. There were times he pulled away or hesitated on showing you any type of physical affection. He hesitated with those three little words, he was terrible at picking out gifts and he sometimes forgot to reply to your texts and calls but he still tried.
It was a conflicting issue. You tried to get him to open up and be comfortable with you, taking small steps with him. And over time you were close, so, so, so close to witnessing that vulnerable side of him…until he pushed you away. Like he does with everyone else in his life when he feels scared. When he feels out of control. You were affecting him in ways he couldn’t explain. If he wasn’t with you then he was constantly thinking of you; anxiety taking over his body at the thought of messing up or making you upset. Things were good. Too good to be true or to last long enough for Sukuna.
Something was inevitably going to go wrong.
Sukuna just made it happen prematurely.
Sukuna ends up scrolling to the last photo he ever took of you. He thinks about the last night that you stayed over and the last photo he ever took of you. Right before everything went to shit and he pushed you away. It was a quiet night in, he had you laid across his chest with your favourite show playing in the background, he doesn’t ever remember you finishing the episode. You fell asleep halfway through, breaking your promise in finishing the second season.
Sukuna studies you, eyes squinting. You snore lightly on his chest, your lips parted. Your face was peaceful and the happiest he’d ever seen you despite being asleep.
What kind of person did that make him? Taking that happiness away from you? He was meant to grow old with you for fuck’s sake. You were the only person he had pictured by his side in the future, save for Jin and Yuji of course. This was so foreign to Sukuna like he was a tourist to his own feelings, unable to comprehend what was happening. And because of that he got scared and fucked it up. Like a coward.
(That was one of the words you spat at him. He couldn’t be mad at you because it was true.)
Glancing at you in his arms, he positions the phone by your face, careful not to awaken you as he takes a picture. ‘Cute’ he thinks, ‘so fucking cute.’ His chest fills with a warmth that only you have made familiar to him. But almost immediately, the fear returns again.
How long until his life begins to fall apart again? Before he fucks up again or before the universe decides to take you away from him? That anticipation wasn’t something that he could live with. It’s selfish but he can’t do it. Everything seems to be too good, life suddenly treating him well. But does he deserve it? Does he deserve you? He keeps his thoughts to himself, instead taking the next two days to distance himself from you which makes things worse, sparking an argument where he says things he won’t be able to take back.
Now he lays alone.
Made to rest with regrets he’ll have for the rest of his life. He reaches the end of the album, the last photo being you sleeping on his chest. He only took one. Never the sentimental type he told himself but now he thinks those are the photos he’ll look back on when he’s old and alone, drowning in his vast sea of regret. (Maybe he’ll turn out like his dad after all.)
Yeah….
Sukuna should have taken more photos of you.
thank you so much for reading! comments and reblogs are much appreciated <333
#angel writes#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna jjk#sukuna x reader fluff#jjk sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader angst#jjk angst#jjk fic#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu sukuna#jujutsu kaisen imagines#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x you
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Part 2 to this.............sort of
this is so gross guys
panty sniffing (SHUSH OKAY), fleshlight grinding, caught sevika, needy sevika, oral fixation sevika, masochism, sadism (established relationship so implied consent!), scissoring, bigclit!sevika, orgasm denial, overstim, squirting........yupyup
... Sub sevika YIPPEE how long has it been since i wrote a proper sub sevi fic guys like 100 years?
THE DIALOGUE MAY BE A BIT CRINGE IM SORRY 😞☝️
Sevika was still needy even after being so humiliated in her meeting, her mouth aching to be filled, her pussy throbbing against her lacy thong. She was hating herself as she dug through the washing basket, trying to find the pair of panties she'd made you ruin the day before. Sevika was groaning as she sifted through the laundry, cheering when she found your messy panties. She looked around the room, as though there was a camera crew waiting at any moment to catch her in her pathetic state, surveying her surroundings to ensure her perverse nature was to be kept a strict secret.
"Fuck sake, seriously whats wrong with me," she murmured, snatching up the fleshlight from the floor, crawling onto the bed. Sevika sunk back into the blankets and pillows, taking time to suck on her fingers, fucking into her own mouth, pretending you were there with her. Her clothes were quickly discarded, leaving her in nothing but a black-lace garter that cut into her meaty thigh and a matching thong. "Mmph, fuck baby.." she grunted, wishing so desperately that you were the one pulling and pinching at her hardened nipples, that you were slapping her breasts, her pussy, for being so filthy.
She deeply inhaled against the crotch of your panties, eyes rolling back, mouth quivering. "Baby, if only you knew what you did to me," she groaned aloud, nuzzling her rounded nose into your mess and wriggling out of her own underwear.
Her tongue lolled against the fabric, Sevika moaning at your taste, pressing her hand flat against her face so she could inhale your scent deeper. She wrapped her lips around the material, sucking at your sticky panties, other hand guiding the fleshlight against her pussy.
She grinded against it, sliding her messy pussy against the ridges, biting down on your panties to muffle her moans. "F-fuck," she stammered, lapping at your underwear and whining desperately at your taste, your scent. Tensing her forearm, she wound her hips against the plastic pussy, focusing her grinding on her clit, crying out when she found a good spot to whine on.
She heard the door to the bedroom open swiftly and she shut her legs, pulling your panties out her mouth, trying to shove them under the pillow. It was too late. You'd seen them, the flashy pink unable to be hidden against the grey sheets. She bit her lip and blushed hard as you leant against the doorframe.
"My my. What do we have here?" You teased, watching her face flush even deeper, her legs trembling. Her garter wrapped tightly around her thigh, her panties carelessly pooled round her ankle, evidence of what she'd been up to coating the replica of your pussy that she clutched in her hand.
"Someone was feeling desperate, weren't they?" You say darkly. As you approach her, she turns her head away from you, bottom lip trapped between her teeth in a pathetic display of shame and embarrassment. You kiss her neck and she sighs, body relaxing as you trace your fingers over her nipples.
"Hurt me.." she groans, pushing her chest up toward you, spreading her legs to give you access to her needy cunt. You giggle at the invitation, harshly groping at her breast before firmly slapping it, making her groan and lurch forward. She grips the sheets either side of her, looking up at you, eyes pleading. Her muscles flex from her intense grip. You love seeing her like this: all muscle, all desperation.
You slap at her again, watching as her breast bounces from your firm hand, revelling in the choked moans she lets out, her eyes welling with tears. They prickle at her tearducts, blurring her vision. You give her another harsh grab, squeezing the skin surrounding her large nipples in your palms. She bucks her hips up, needing your attention on her pussy. You give it to her in the form of a hard spank. Her legs threaten to shut, spasming wildly, but she tenses them. Her whole body is in flex, every muscle fighting to keep herself still. You cant help but moan at the sight of her, as if she's carved from stone, every indent perfect, every muscle peppered with intricate scarring. She's beautiful.
"So desperate for me aren't you, Sevi?" You rasp, placing another slap directly over her entrance. Her mess strings from her pussy to your palm. She nods, looking at you puppy-dog eyed, lip still trapped between her teeth. "Need you so bad, got caught at work today," she admits. You make a mental note of that, because that's hot to you in your dom state but entirely concerning for your day-to-day. Either way, knowing your girl was so fucking needy that she'd endanger her job made your pussy drip.
"Oh yeah? What were you doing, princess?" You tease, taking off your clothes painfully slow, stopping routinely to slap her pussy, keeping her desperate.
"I..." she trails off, embarrassment warming her whole body. You pout at her, mocking her sudden shyness, like she's not all spread out for you, like her pussy isn't wetting the sheets below her.
"Tell me." The demand coaxes the admission out of her, and you laugh. You laugh breathlessly at how fucking pathetic she must've looked, tongue - fucking her toy out of sheer boredom, her slutty mouth so aching to be filled that she threw all caution to the wind. She cries a little now, feeling so humiliated. "Fuck are you crying for, princess?"
You slap her harshly across the face, grabbing her up and watching as her eyes become heavy lidded. She sinks deeper into her subspace, her pussy tingling from the pain you inflict upon her. "Feel so dirty," she chokes, your knee sliding between her legs. She instinctively grinds on it, eyes rolling back as tears stream down her cheeks. "You are though, aren't you?" You sit yourself between her legs, groaning at the feeling of your pussies against each other. "Filthy girl." You whisper it, watching as her face changes at the title. Her eyebrows clench together, her nostrils flare, her mouth hangs open, her eyes tightly shut.
You push your middle finger into her mouth, her lips tightening around you, tongue tracing your fingertip. She grips your wrist to keep you steady, pulling her mouth backwards and forwards as she worships your finger. "Need that mouth filled, huh baby?" you tease, Sevika nodding, little "mhm"s whining their way out of her mouth. You force another finger into her, further down her throat, Sevika's eyes fluttering back at the feeling of her mouth being so stuffed up. She bucks into you, whines her hips against yours.
Sevika is right on the edge, you can feel it, you can see it all over her face. Her pussys gushing out wetness against you, her fat clit pulsing intensely each time you rub against it. You know she's sensitive anyway, the sheer size of her clit making pleasure triple. You know she's close.
"Mm-mmph ah, hah, baby I'm gonna- I'm gonna cum, can i... Shit, baby, c-can I cum?"
You smile to yourself at her begging, knowing she's right there, knowing she couldn't hold it if she tried.
"No. You don't cum til i do." You hiss the words out as you rut your hips against her faster, her body straining to no avail.
Every vein in her body ripples through her skin, her teeth near-breaking, strained noises escaping her through fettered breath. She cums, tears again rolling down her face, chanting apologies as she bucks up against you. "Im sorry, sorry, FUCK-'M SORRY-" she screams it, her chest heaving, her muscles twitching and spasming as she still attempts to fight her body.
You cant help but groan at the sight of Sevika gripping the sheets beside her, her toes clawing at the bed to keep herself down. She moans uncontrollably, babbling cute little "im sorry"s. You slip much more easily against her, her large clit slipping in and out if your entrance as you roll your hips, practically fucking into you. "Oh, Sevi," you coo, forcing your fingers back down her throat. The sounds she makes are primal, her body acting on instinct. She's so pussy drunk, fucked dumb as you use her.
She gags on your fingers, saliva dripping down her chin. "Such a messy little b-bitch," you stammer, feeling your stomach tightening as you ride her. She bites lightly around your digits, throwing her head back. Sweat droplets gather along her clavicle, along her forehead, sticking her blunt hair to her skin.
"Mm, Sevi baby, gonna cum, cum on that pretty pussy, fuck," you sigh out, grabbing harshly at her breast to keep yourself up. She nods and squirms away from your fingers, mouth gapping and closing. Much to your dismay, you slow down to let her speak.
"C-cani-cu-cum," she stutters out the words, slurring, eyes squeezing open. Her pupils are so wide her eyes are practically black. You pout at her and regain your pace, Sevika mewling, covering up her face with her fist.
You tut, but your mind goes blank when she hits an angle where her clit is fucking into you, your clit rubbing over her rough hair. You're both as dumb as eachother as you cum simultaneously, your throats both closed up, the only sounds in the room the wet clapping of your bodies.
You climb off her when you hear her start to whine like a dog, rubbing at her swollen pussy with two fingers, opening your mouth and moaning when you sit your pussy over her ankle.
She squirts, screaming so loud you're offended none of the neighbours have turned up in concern.
Finally, you let her rest. You come up to cuddle into her side, watching her cautiously. Her chest heaves, eyes dropped shut, mouth open. Her sharp canines show through and you can't help but giggle at the fact she is the person who begs to cum, cries when she cums without permission. Its so sweet to see such a pretty butch come completely undone as soon as you sit your pussy on her.
You guys this is still not as good as the 3 paragraphs i lost, but I'll just have to accept that
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Noé and Damsel relationship chart ♡
Damsel's Relationship Breakdowns:
Noé - "My precious baby brother Noé ♡"
- Noémie and Damsel are thick as thieves. she's also kinda the reason he has such a skewed view of romance, whoopsies ♡. Noé is precious to her, and she let's him get away with far more than anyone else in the orphanage. her precious baby brother that occasionally gets her off ♡
Kylar - "My cute little pet!"
- Kylar is obsessed with her. she finds that hilarious. she loves Kylar in her own twisted little way, but if we're being honest, most of what she feels for Kylar is just a lust-filled power high. despite this, she is incredibly possessive of Kylar. she'd further isolate him if he even considered falling out of love with her. she craves the validation he provides. Kylar thinks she's a perfect angel who can do no wrong.
Whitney - "My bitch ♡"
- Whitney wants to fuck her so bad it makes her look stupid. Damsel is aware of this. she thinks it's sooo funny. Damsel feels this odd mixture of actually liking Whit as a friend sometimes and wanting to beat her ass on the daily. Ultimately Damsel thinks she's kind of pathetic and that she purposefully picks fights for her to humiliate her. cute ♡
Robin - "Don't fly too far, Robin. You owe me."
- Damsel resents Robin as much as she cares about him. Robin thinks Damsel is amazing and feels indebted to her, plus he has a crush. Damsel takes advantage of that. She teases him a lot and keeps him at low confidence because it makes her feel more powerful. it's the least he could do for her.
IW - "Who...were we?"
- Damsel is...wary of The Wraith. she's interacted with them enough to know they have some sort of connection..but what is it? she is The Wraith's precious pearl. she's not sure what they mean by that. she's also pretty sure she's seen them before, in those months where she had disappeared.
Harper - "Doctor Harper..."
- very mixed feelings. on one hand, he did help her post-reappearance. on the other hand, he very clearly is the shadiest fucking doctor she's ever seen. but also she thinks he's kinda pathetic for attempting to hypnotize her into kissing him and performing sexual acts on him. she thinks that's cute ♡. Harper thinks she's lovely, she was pretty compliant during her treatment. shame she doesn't come around much anymore.
Niki - "I think I'm in love with you. I have to die."
- Damsel is so down bad for Niki that it genuinely embarasses her. if anyone ever found out how often she thinks of Niki, she'd die immediately. she's going stir crazy thinking about him. Niki thinks she's cute and a great model. they like her more than they let on.
Landry - "She's almost like a mom! or an older sister."
- Landry and Damsel have a very playful relationship. they both tease Mickey when they're together and Damsel thinks Landry is a pretty nice woman, all things considered. Landry thinks it's a little odd how many important documents and items Damsel manages to her her hands on and to sell, but hey, she hasn't gotten caught so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
Bailey - "I hate you. [I don't]."
- Complicated feelings. She doesn't like other people demanding money from her and she doesn't like how quick he is to try to literally sell her. but...she was very attached to him as a kid and that's hard to shake off. [she also thinks he's hot but she'd jump from a building before admitting that]. Bailey thinks she's reliable. sometimes he still looks out for her.
Noémie's Relationship Breakdowns:
Damsel - "My tiny older sis ♡. I'll keep you safe."
- he does everything he can to keep her safe. he also feels a bit entitled to parts of her but I go into that more here. Damsel was the first person he attached to at the orphanage and some things never change. despite not being around her much physically during the week, he does seem to always know how to find her if he needs to.
Robin - "We grew up together. You should be less naive."
- he's noticed Robin's attachment to Damsel but he doesn't really bother with it. Robin isn't a threat. Robin tends to see Noémie as an extension of Damsel because they interact him in similar ways and so he's got a very confusing boner for Noé.
Kylar - "You're not good enough for my sister. You're lucky she likes you."
- if he could get rid of Kylar without Damsel being upset, he would. he doesn't think Kylar is worth any of Damsel's time, even if she's just using him. Kylar views Noé as a roadblock to Damsel and him living happily ever after. he's partially right (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶).
Sydney - "Fall into my arms, I'll guide you."
- Sydney is naive and pliable, the perfect subject to convert into his devotee. he wants to drive Sydney into calamity just to be her savior so he can be her new god. Sydney's low-key losing it because of his teasing and she's falling hard.
Jordan - "You seem so innocent for someone in such high regard. Curious."
- so curious about Jordan. how can someone so innocent be a priest for this fucked ass Temple?? wants to ruin Jordan but also thinks he's fun like this. likes to subtly flirt with him because Jordan is very easily flustered. Jordan thinks Noé is sweet and kind! even if he can be a bit of a smooth talker. he's choosing to ignore how that affects him.
Bailey - "I spent a lot of time around you when Damsel and I were young. You seemed so different then."
- he gets pissed off when Bailey attempts to sell off Damsel [before she made bank of course]. there's still some bitterness there, but he also still thinks of Bailey as that guy Damsel used to cling to and admire so he's not completely on his shit list. Bailey doesn't like to be around him too long because the air around him is always ice cold, but Noé pays his dues so he doesn't have any strong feelings about him.
Relationships I didn't add so the chart didn't get too confusing
- Noé is very interested in The Wraith and their interest in Damsel. however he's also like...please stop trying to impregnate my sister with your parasite babies ♡
- Noé likes Niki [btw my Niki is amab but uses he/they pronouns so if you see me hopping between those now you know why]. they treat Damsel well and she doesn't get harassed nearly as much in his photography studio. he's Noé approved.
- despite her bad blood with the Temple, Damsel actually really likes Jordan! she feels a bit bad that she doesn't visit him more often. also she low-key wants to get in his pants but she's choosing to ignore that.
#fun fact: Robin is growing his bangs out to look more similar to Kylar in an attempt to make himself more appealing to Damsel#whitney the bully#kylar the loner#sydney the faithful#robin the orphan#ivory wraith#niki the photographer#harper the doctor#landry the criminal#bailey the caretaker#jordan the pious#dol pc#damsel the starlet#noemie the singularity#damsel draws sometimes#trying to get in so much drawing before i actually start doing school work for the semester lol
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i’ve been looking for a post like this, but i can’t seem to find one..so fine i’ll just do it myself..
here’s my fav squid game men headcannons but make it freaky ☺️. also songs that make me think of them/i listened to while writing these
(Gi-hun, In-ho, Thanos and a little nam-gyu, and just a bit of the recruiter..hehe)
(Warning: includes a little cnc…not alot but still just in case! also smut..obviously?)
kinda obvious but just so you know..this post is 18+.. and very freaky
Seong Gi-hun~
Spork postition, or doggy style
shoulder holder..hell yeah
doggy- one hand on the small of your back, the other by your head
praise kink, receiving and giving
hair pulling+getting his hair pulled
6.5 inches
lowkey a whimper kinda guy..
aftercare king!!
whispering NASTY stuff in your ear
but also stuttering ^
“y-you like that? yeah?”
i said it once and i’ll say it again.. SEONG GI-HUN IS A SOFT DOM DADDY
slow and tender
laying overtop you while fingering you, eye contact entire time
Your laying on your stomach, supporting your weight on your elbows. Gi-hun, bent over you, has one hand under your chest, groping you. His other hand, stimulating your clit as he thrusts, grunting and muttering filth into your ear, as your fingers helplessly grip at the sheets beneath you.
Issues by Julia Michaels..
(his is kinda lame cause i already posted one of these that was just for him..)
~In-ho
Tabletop, shower, and missionary…yeah
Degrading
spanking
light bdsm, restraing your wrists above your head kinda guy
dacryphilliac..might be controversial..who knows
wants to make you whimper, sob, and beg
STICKY..that’s all.
let’s just say, the room is very humid with him 🥰
kinda aggressive
he would definitely put his hand over your mouth during missionary
would overstim you severely
dominant king..what about it?
7 inches
he needs you to be verbal
He loved to use your body, while you're sleeping, while you're awake, while you were calling someone, whenever he felt like it. He ESPECIALLY LOVED the last one. Whenever your phone would ring during sex he would answer it, ESPECIALLY if it was a guy... What was another guy doing calling you for anyways?!
He would make you call out his name in your desperate and needy voice so whoever heard on the other line knew how much you liked his cock. He'd chase his own pleasure first. Then MAYBE if you were good will he get you off.
He does in fact want to watch you go crazy, like he wants to ruin your life and be the one to put it back together
male manipulator
Karma by Chappell Roan
~Thanos
Doggy style king
also shoulder holder 😚
adventurer position, eagle, and watering can
he’s a big valedictorian position kinda guy
you might need a mop after a night with him..i’m ngl
he’s rough..
whiney boy with an attitude
the rings stay on while he fingers you no questions asked
says things like “you fucking like that?” when eating you out 🥰
2man with him and nam-gyu hehe
forces your legs open
oral king (giving but mostly receiving)
Like your gonna need to SLOB on that KNOB
fast pace, won’t slow down so don’t ask
pulls your hair, slaps you
he could go for about 3 rounds
“showering? without me?”
He don’t make love, he FUCKS
sober sex isn’t even a thing to him…sorry
6 inches
idk why but he reminds me of douche from sausage party…ifkyk i guess
^in all the ways
you’d fuck like atleast once a week
yeah he hates condoms/pulling out
sometimes he’ll bring nam-gyu along, watching as he fucks your brains out, humiliating you in front of thanos, making you feel ashamed for enjoying another man’s cock..before he eventually takes over
nam-gyu holding your arms above your head, kissing you while thanos fucks you~
Thanos chokes you. He wraps his big hand around your throat while fucking, looking you in your eyes as he grunts.
Your laying on your back, tugging on Thanos’ hair, as his face is nested deep between your legs. Your legs tense, all your strength flowing to your feet, and you writhe beneath him, his chin dripping from your previous climax . “you like that, don’t you? you like when i suck on you, over and over.” he mutters, sloppily, his breathy words bringing you closer to the edge.
Why’d you only ever call me when your high? by Arctic Monkeys
HE IS SO PTPOM 2.0
The recruiter~ (CNC WARNING)
bent over the table, no other way
grunts in your ear
Gun kink.
like..he’d hold a gun to your head while you suck it..idk
Or he’d put it in your mouth or smth
also a dacryphilliac
gets off to seeing you scared and sobbing
a hitachi wand is his best friend.
would gag you and tie you up
like he loves BDSM
don’t even ask him to stop once you’ve started, because he won’t , so there’s no point hehe
massive cnc guy..hehe
massive sadist..like even more than in-ho
he would spit in your mouth and make you swallow it
he’s a ‘nut on your face’ kinda guy
bruises you and draws blood occasionally
he’s a very loud guy..
wants to watch you touch yourself
wrestling position, counter blow, cobra ❤️
Do i wanna know by Arctic Monkeys
#squid game 2#smut#seong gi hun#young il#the recruiter#not safe fw#what’s wrong with me#freaky#player 456#dead dove do not eat#i’m serious#soft cnc
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🎶 they tried to make me go to rehab and i said PLEASE PLEASE HOLY FUCK I FEEL SO BAD WILL NOBODY HELP ME I CANT STOP WHY DOESNT ANYBODY NOTICE HOW BAD IT IS PLEASE HELP
#IM SUCH A LIGHTWEIGJT NOW AND I FEEL SO STUPID I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IM FINE I CAN HANDLE IT WHAT'S ONE BEER YOU CAN DO IT YOU LIKE BEER#AND I HAVENT HAD WATER OR EATEN ALL DAY AND IM LIKE WHEEEE I KEPT MY TAB OPEN (DUMBASS) ORDER A SECONS#even a second is too much#i cant stop#like actually i dont know what to do bc i know even if i went to rehab WHICH I CANT AFFORD AND NONE OF MY FAMILY WILL HELP i just would#return to the same shit bc no matter how sober i get i cant stop bc that's how fucking addiction works#and im too scared to tell anyone i actually need help#the people who know i need help are just judging me and watching me fall into this fucking pit#i dont know what to do#im just gonna pass out drunk now#i hate feeling like this it's so fucking humiliating#i dont even like it#and im admitting defeat to WHAT? A LITTLE GLASS OF JUICE? YOURE KIDDING ME#prolific linguistics researcher and author cant stop.. why do we always treat academics like we're the pinnacle of society#im fucking awful man im a schizophrenic with an addiction problem#but im so much more than that! anyone who knows me knows that! but i cant stop#i want to stop#and im trying and then every few months I think ive tried enough and i expect it to go away but that's how the cravings trick you#fuck this man#drugs tw#sobriety update#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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always three steps behind huh
#it's a very fun game being older but watching those younger than you get further than you ever have. maybe ever will#i feel like ive been stuck for the last ten years of my life and i hate it. i hate it so fucking much#most days i feel like i just. exist. im not dead unfortunately but im not really living either#it's humiliating being 26 fucking years old and still can't drive. i live in an rv because i can't handle living completely on my own#watching people get into relationships while i just feel. unlovable to my core.#i hate it i hate it i hate it
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i think if i go to work today i may actually explode or turn into a puddle of mush or some other sort of physical manifestation of a mental breakdown
#i mean i will still go it wouldnt be fair on my coworkers#but fucking hell i dont want toooooo#so anxious!!!! and for what!!!!!#did maybe have a little cry at work yesterday and yet that apparently wasnt enough to get it out of my system#i hate customers can they go die please#sick of being humiliated constantly!!!! all my life ive felt constantly humiliated!!!! humiliated as a child continue to be humiliated by my#disabilities and body malfunctioning as an adult!!!! and now humiliated everyday by rich middle class customers who think they are better#than me and that anyone who works in fast food must be stupid!!!!! which is not true!!!!! but even if it was thats no reason to look down#on someone!!!!!!#hateeee that i feel like i as a person am being sold as a product too hate that i have to have a name badge and be perceived want to hide#under my covers in my flat and only think about a-yao forever#how a-yao put up with constant and worse humiliation for so long is actually insane#<-linking everything back to ayao to make me feel better lol
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test tmr and i thought i only had 1 and a half lectures for today but i had 4 and a half 😭😭😭 plus a ton of practice questions
#i am sooo screwed#well now i have 3 lectures. all half an hour ish so not too bad cuz the others are an hour to two hours#i did bad on the last test and its a required course for philosophy#my other class was just taking up all my time so rip!!!! i hate being so fucking unable to do 2 classes at once its so humiliating to tell#ppl i do that when they take 5 at once 😭#been feeling super depressed abt my limitations lately like why am i even here on this earth i dont have much to offer. even interpersonally
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im like sincerely so sorry bc my most shameful flaw is that envy is one of my favorite characters in the entirety of fma which is like. listen it's genuinely irredeemable but she knew exactly what she was doing when she made envy the pinnacle of gender envy bc my non-binary ass is NOT immune to feeling the gender envy to the highest degree for that little freak
#mine#i feel less ashamed for being hornee abt shin tsukimi do u understand. how humiliating that is.#literally dont even perceive me this is my greatest sin ok AT LEAST IM SELF AWARE#THEY LITERALLY DO ALL THE MOST HEINOUS SHIT IN THE ENTIRE SERIES NEXT TO KIMBLEE#AND THEY /BOTH/ GET OFF ON IT TOO WHICH MAKES IT WORSE#BUT THEYRE JUST SO PAINFULLY GENDER IM TOO WEAK TO RESIST#i want their voice. i want it so bad it's so painful i hate them so much. but i also adore them. and hate myself for that#she was targeting ME SPECIFICALLY when she made them frfrfrfr#fma#i hesitate to even put this in a tag but i feel like other trans ppl will get it. right. u get it right or am i just a lonesome fool#also. js. i hate kimblee. i fucking DESPISE kimblee actually. worst piece of shit ever in the whole series.#i actually got mad bc i forgot just how long he lasts in the series. FAR TOO LONG IF U ASK ME.#& also. i. feel like. i should get points too bc envy is rly the only absolute irredeemable piece of shit i actually enjoy#bc usually. i am a sheep. & i HATE them. but. i am also a sheep. to gender envy. sooooo. unsurprising exception.#but like otherwise unless u wanna count like my man dracula from castlevania which i feel like is not comparable bc he was VALID#envy is the only villain i actually truly like. any other 'villain' i like is more... morally grey. or. understandable. u know. u get it.#anyway. dont ever perceive me for this im ashamed#& also no the irony of having the mention of jealousy/envy as a my most strict boundary & yet having the literal embodiment of envy#as one of my fav characters in my favorite anime of all time is not lost on me. i am a walking contradiction we all know this#at least they're not THE favorite. u can take a very predictable guess on who that title goes to
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Isn’t it great when a thing which rationally thinking wouldn’t be a big deal makes you feel awful and it’s like a domino effect that pulls out all the pain buried inside you and makes your bruises burn, and everything tastes so bitter and it’s as if that time you cried a lot for no reason at 7 after having come home from a summer camp is somehow connected to all this
#got somehow humiliated by a coworker#isn’t it great when you try to be nice all the time and some given people always act annoyed at you#I hate him#he’s like the only person of my age there#in the small logistics room he and other 3 men in a circle#me trying to take a fucking carton outside from a narrow door and nobody even trying to help me but another female coworker#“are you sure the carton is sealed wel? because the last time it came back damaged#and in both cases my colleague told me it was ok and more than enough#and then you start thinking how I don’t belong here and I must sound like an idiot in Dutch#and hate that I work there with people from villages and my life is so meaningless and i only feel sorry for my parents and wish I could#wish I could just kill myself and go#me#then I waited the whole afternoon before being able to cry by myself#walking with eyes wide open and full of pain
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kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)
#guys i have worth??? im actually a human being deserving of basic respect and SHOULD be apologised to if i am not given that??? holy shit#ok but like i actually was pretty mad and i just wasn't going to talk to them when the weekend ended but to think they'd actually apologise#guys i am a friend worth apologising to omg this is so nice#(<- was fuming over how i was a “friend” not even worthy of her basic decency and respect an hour ago)#LIKE IM STILL MAD#okay i actually cant vaguepost to save my life but basically this girl whos a friend i recently got close to and formed a friendgroup with#shes really fucking whiny and ive been tolerating it for so long but on friday she was extremely whiny and rude whenever i just asked a#simple question#and it's really draining and humiliating to be spoken to like poop on the sidewalk in front of other people#but anyway other than that i was really upset because during pe i wanted to show her my hip injury cuz i thought it was funny#(it wasn't diagnosed yet i just felt my joints moving weirdly)#and like that involves her putting her hand on my hip#so i asked her to do that then she started whining about how she doesn't want to touch me and that i'm weird for asking ppl to touch me#then she started telling like the 3 other ppl around us i was weird and wanted ppl to touch me#then this other cool girl overheard and looked at us funny i guess cuz then the friend said 'haha now [cool girls name] is also laughing'#i was so fucking embarrassed and humiliated i still want to tear up thinking about it#like are you actually my friend wtf i don't even need enemies w a friend like you#i wanted to cry so bad then#ugh i hate it#like you couldve just said no thanks bro what is ur problem#this just made me realise how much i hate how she talks to me sometimes#and i know i need to stop surrounding myself with negative vibes in order to feel happy#but its still so frustrating#we were doing so well the other day and google meeting everyday#then this happened and then she got mad and started ignoring me on the way home#bro idk i hate ts i should just stop making friends#rant
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ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.
like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo
i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.
#speculation nation#the duality of being a deeply resentful and angry person. and being a person that Tries to be mature and peaceful.#like im not gonna actually Do shit even tho i keep wanting to message her just to yell at her some more again#it's like there's a beast in me that keeps yelling for retribution. she wronged me in such a disrespectful and humiliating way#and yet she just gets to walk away like it was nothing? live her life like it was nothing?#be in 'love' with her new 'soulmate' after cutting me off like a rotten limb?#i feel so DEEPLY angry. i want to spit vitriol and fire. i want to dig my claws into her bones. make her really FEEL how i feel.#i want to wander into her dreams and make her experience what i felt. every miserable second of silence.#the humiliation of admitting you might be falling in love only to be told you were never loved at all.#and i want to knee her in the gut and spit in her face and really make her regret ever fucking wronging me#but unfortunately im a stupid fucking pacifist so all the aggression and anger and violence has no FUCKING outlet#ive been. trying to not think about it too much. ive been trying to just live my life. because i dont want her to run my life.#but the anger keeps catching up to me. filtering in when i dont expect it. endless constant fucking thoughts coming back to me#on and on and on and on i live and i eat and i read and i game and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i HATE AND I HATE#the greatest injustice is that i cannot make her truly feel every single ounce of my resentment and anger#it's so overwhelming i think i could choke on it. and she gets to live her FUCKING happy little life with her stupid fucking 'soulmate'#i hope it collapses around her and she loses her too so she's single and alone and miserable and regretting all of her fucking impulsivenes#she deserves to have it fail after what she did to me. and all i can really do is hope that karma has its fucking kiss for her.#if only curses were real. what i wouldnt give to put some energy into that karmic payback lmfao.#ok . ok ok ok ok love and peace on planet earth. i am shifting out of vitriolic little shit mode.#just had to let some of the steam out. im still angry but i am going to go back to not thinking about it.#i think i should go on a nice long bike ride tomorrow. to decompress and work some of the steam out.#it's something that she can never take from me. something that is so wholly mine. fuck that stupid bitch and fuck her new girlfriend too#...............................ok NOW im shifting out of vitriolic mode. lol#negative/#WAHOOOOOO i am certainly not taking this breakup well. but i dont think anyone would be lmfao.#all things considered i think im doing a pretty great job at handling this breakup.#bc at least im only recounting unrealistic threats and fantasies on my tumblr dot com instead of messaging Any of this to her.#i may kinda want her to read it so that she knows anyways. but i wont message her directly. bc i am Trying to be at least a little mature.#complaining on my tumblr dot com so i dont message my ex with more vitriol. gotta cope Somehow.
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man im having a wanting to die kinda night again :(((((((((
im trying so fucking hard to make friends but i guess i just cant and just gotta die instead
#like if people dont wanna be my fucking friend just say it instead of letting me continue to humiliate myself !!!!!!!!!!!!!#its not like i can just magically KNOW which people do and dont want to be near me unless its super duper obvious#and i hate the fucking games of people acting like they really like me and then#NOTHING#just absolute jack shit#its this constant back and forth of making me feel good and happy and like maybe they like me#and then distance and Nothing#it sucks man#i just feel like im broken but i keep on trying EVERYTHING to fix it but idk what it is#because pretty much all my relationships or attempted ones go sour and like#if it was only a few thats one thing#but its all of them so its clearly my own fault#i just cant fix it if i dont know what im doing wrong#i guess i could just be with people that hurt me and drain me since at least they tend to stick around and are interested in me#pretty sure the universe is telling me that i dont and never will deserve any better#that i should just be happy being with people that make me feel like shit or hurt me#or just be completely alone instead
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mmgghh imagine julian having a zoe murphy from deh style breakdown as he tries to reconcile the brother he remembers, the one that abused him for years and years on end, that never brought him anything but pain, that would beat him up for the slightest provocation, with the one that meets him at the academy, the one that saved a city, the one that is working relentlessly to save their family from ruin, the one that defends him from bullies and tells him it was never his fault that others harassed him
just. julian getting to express the rage and confusion and conflicted emotions that would come with the person that abused him for years changing completely out of nowhere and turning into the older brother he'd always wanted.
so don't tell me i didn't have it right don't tell me it wasn't black and white after all you put me through don't say it wasn't true that you were not the monster that i knew
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#julian frontera#if i think too hard about the fact that julian forgave his abusive older brother because of the actions of a completely different person#and we never got to see the fall out of him realizing the person he forgave never actually made amends with him#and all his feelings of rage and disgust were completely valid and he never had any reason for feeling guilty about hating his brother#because the person that he grew to care for and protected him was a completely different one. i do start going a little feral not gonna lie#i just!! don't like that julian was made to feel like he was in the wrong for feeling like he was the one that had it hardest!!#cause he did!! he fucking did!!!#this kid was abused physically and verbally since childhood by his older brother. basically ran from home the moment he was legally allowed#to and then also got harassed and humiliated by his classmates at school while all the authorities looked the other way#had it not been for suho transmigrating into lloyd's body (which is an external factor and should not be taken into account)#julian would by all means be allowed to say he had it the roughest of the family!!!#but because lloyd meddled (which is. to be fair. not a bad thing) julian was made to feel like he was being whiny#for thinking he had it rough while his older brother worked his ass off to save their family#i know no one cares about this but i do!!! i have so many feelings about julian!! he deserved better!! i needed more content about him!!#we never even got a scene with him being told that the brother he grew to love and want to make proud was not the brother that abused him#what's the point of it all 😭
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"it's okay to not know. you're not dumb for not knowing. you're not uncool for not knowing. you weren't there you couldn't have known. you should not feel ashamed asking is not a crime." daily affirmations i tell myself
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