#i had to teach myself i was not a clean person until like the last 5 years but im pretty serious about it now

[fairy-ganj-mother]

why are men unable to tell when something is dirty

[cherryrikis]

사랑으로 (with love,)

PAIRING swim instructors riki x fem reader

WARNINGS mild profanity

GENRE enemies to ??, fluff, angst if you squint

SYNOPSIS you hated riki because when it came to teaching your classes, he always one upped you. but riki doesn’t hate you. so when you both are punished for breaking equipment, he uses every opportunity to try and talk to you.

a/n loosely based of personal experience cz im a lifeguard🛟 also not proofread

it was meant to be a part time summer job. you just wanted something to do with all your free time, now that school was out.

but, the kids grew to love you, and you grew to love what you do.

so, you began to work full time at the local community pool.

instead of 2 classes a day, you’d teach 4 classes a day. it wasn’t too bad, each class only being 30 minutes.

you were so glad to help out, often even training the new interns.

until one. nishimura riki.

he was barely an intern for a week before becoming a full time employee. at first, you paid him no mind. he was a good teacher. very professional and good with the kids, often demonstrating the skills they needed to know to pass his class.

but eventually, he became better. he grew to become an even better teacher than you. the kids who loved you since the beginning started requesting to be put in riki’s class.

you watched him from across the pool, playfully splashing his students (who really, used to be your students), as they squealed about how the water was too cold.

but he always noticed your gaze. he turned around, smiling at you softly.

and you hated it, you felt nothing but hatred for him to the core of your heart. most of the staff noticed it, and it made it a bit awkward to work with either of you.

it was around 8:00 when your last class had ended. all your co-workers were putting the lane lines back in, preparing the pool for the swim team’s practice the following day.

“y/n? can you collect all the kick boards and put them away?” the manager, anton, asked you. “riki, go help y/n with all the other equipment.”

“what?” your mouth fell open, “anton, i can do it myself,”

“y/n.” anton cut you off. “don’t fight it. just let him help you.” he sighed before walking back into his office to pack up for the night.

you stood still in the middle of the walkway, ignoring how your coworkers moved past you to go wash up in the showers.

finally moving out the way to collect the boards, you huffed as you saw riki follow you into the storage room.

it was eerie. the lightbulb constantly went out, so the staff just figured to keep a candle and a lighter on the shelf above the bins.

riki lit the flame before going to help you clean up.

as you finished stacking the equipment, you went to walk out of the room, but riki grabbed your hand, pulling you back in.

“why do you hate me?”

“i don’t hate you.” you mumbled, before attempting to leave once more, only to be brought back to him.

he raised an eyebrow, looking you up and down.

“fine, i just don’t like you.” you scoffed. “you constantly one up me, taking my position, and even luring my students over to your class. nowadays, i don’t even get paid as much as you do anymore!”

“it’s not my fault! you act like my sole purpose was to come here and take your place.” riki grimaced at you. “maybe i am just the better instructor between us. it’s not my fault you can’t accept that.”

one might say it was out of jealous rage, or just an intolerance of immaturity. but something inside you snapped.

you shoved riki’s shoulder, causing him to fall against the wall and hit the shelf which held the candle.

from that point on, everything was in slow motion. the sound of glass breaking was loud and very audible.

the hot wax spilled across the plastic bin, melting the lid and spilling all over the foam boards which sat inside.

“what the fuck y/n?” riki yelled out.

immediately, anton came rushing in. he looked inside the bin, noticing how there was now a huge hole burnt through the container and all the boards inside. the equipment was no longer usable.

“are you serious? who’s fault was it? who did it?” he asked sturnly.

“it was y/n.” “riki did it.”

“are you kidding?!” you both exclaimed in unison.

“you knocked over the candle.” “you pushed me!” riki scoffed in disbelief. “it was foam! how do you manage to damage foam of all things?”

“enough!” anton intervened. he looked between you and riki, before moving his gaze to your red swim shirts. lifeguard, it read.

“your shirts are a symbol of your dedication and responsibility as a lifeguard and swim instructor. you may be good in the water, but you are both unbelievable outside it. if you keep this up, you could get those shirts revoked.”

“anton.. i’m so sorry.” you apologized, realizing what you done and that it technically was your fault.

“as much as i appreciate your apology, an apology won’t fix this mess. you two are on cleaning duty. i’ll call the janitor to tell him he doesn’t need to come tonight. the keys are on my desk, lock up before you leave.”

you nod in response, but riki still had something to say. “what? this is completely unfair! if anything, she should do it herself!”

but by then, anton had already left. “asshole.” he muttered. “this is all your fault y/n! by this rate we won’t finish for another hour or two.”

“by this rate, we won’t finish at all if you keep standing there and doing nothing. go grab that trash bag and mop.” you sighed.

riki was hesitant to help, but did so anyway, knowing it wasn’t up to him.

after power washing the concrete floors, scrubbing the bathrooms, and replacing all the damaged equipment, all the work was done by 10:05pm.

“good job, i guess. just wait for me then we can go.” you muttered as you finished wiping down the mirror of the employee’s bathroom.

“why would i wait for you?” he scoffed.

“you’re the one who got us in this mess.”

“i- whatever. just, let me help you.” riki licked his dry lips, taking the sponge from you.

the pool doors and the office were all locked up. you both were ready to leave before he paused right in front of the entrance.

“you wanna get something to eat? i’ll drive you home after. you shouldn’t walk by yourself and especially not on an empty stomach.”

“yeah. that’d be nice.” you replied, smiling genuinely at him for the first time.

with the both of you freshly showered yet so tired, riki drove to the nearest mcdonalds, ordering for the two of you.

after the food was picked up at the window, he pulled up at empty parking lot, turning off the engine so you could eat together.

“why are you still so nice to me after i was so rude to you?” you asked with a quiet voice, suddenly feeling bad as you reflected on your past interactions

“you know, it was never on purpose..” he whispered.

“what?” you asked, confused. his answer seemed slightly unrelated to your question.

“earlier, when we were still at the rec center. i asked why you hated me, and you said i basically replaced you.” riki reminded. “it wasn’t on purpose. i just really liked you back when you were only training me. and i thought, i don’t know.. maybe you thought it’d be attractive if you saw i was good with kids or something. but i never meant to make you feel that way.”

“oh riki..” you pouted, putting your box of chicken nuggets down. “i’m so sorry. i had no idea. i mean, if it makes you feel any better, i thought you were pretty cute when i was training you.”

“yeah, i guess that actually does help.” he smiled.

“can i..” you mumbled, leaning forward towards riki as he remained still in the drivers seat.

slowly, he moved closer to you, before eventually connecting your lips in a gentle kiss.

you moved your mouth against his, softly deepening the kiss.

riki smiled against you, and it was very noticeable. you found it cute how his face ran hot when you finally pulled away to repeatedly peck his cheek.

he brought a hand up to your face, holding you delicately. you leaned into his touch, before grimacing as you felt a slimy substance touch you.

“ew, riki!” you exclaimed, realizing his thumb had just accidentally wiped mustard under your eye.

he laughed, the sound like music to your ears, before he helped you wipe it off.

“i’m looking forward to working with you now that we don’t hate each other. maybe whenever we make eye contact mid class, you’ll stop looking at me weirdly.” you joked.

“oh come on, you know i only ever looked at you with love”. riki pursed his lips into a smirk, before bringing your lips back against his.

[lunajay33]

New World🪵🍂

Summary: You grew up in a crappy town with one friend who kept you going, everything started to fall into place, that’s until the world ended and the dead ruled the world

•Masterlist•

I just came home from teaching, throwing myself down on the couch, usually Daryl stops by every night for supper and it’s been a tradition we have continued every night since I came back from college

I hated leaving but I needed to get out of this shitty town for a bit, and when I got the opportunity to come back and teach I had to, I couldn’t be apart from Daryl, my best friend, anymore

We’ve been friends since his mom died, my parents told me about his mom and so the next day in school I sat with him at lunch and from then on we have been inseparable, sure he was a hard nut to crack but after that he was the sweetest kindest person I’ve ever met

As I got up to start dinner the door burst open and Daryl and Merle came running in frantic

“Guys what’s wrong?” I asked worried

“Ya need to get yer fine ass movin” Merle laughed

I never liked Merle he was a terrible person and a terrible brother

“We need to go..now” Daryl said grabbing a bag off my counter and throwing a bunch of food in it before taking my hand and dragging me to his truck while Merle got on his bike

“Daryl what’s going on you’re scaring me” my voice trembled as he started up the truck and followed Merle down a back road out of town

“Shits happenin, people are dyin, comin back and eatin everyone, we just gotta get outta here” he said taking my hand in his

“Oh god…..well where are we going”

“Up to that quarry I took ya to last summer, it’ll be far away enough from the city and we got fresh water, don’ worry sunshine I’ll keep ya safe” he said giving me a reassuring squeeze

It was silent for most of the drive all I could hear was the blood pumping in my ears, how could this be happening? What was going to happen now, everything was just falling into place, me and Daryl were just planning to go on a trip to Tennessee too but I guess that’s down the drain

Everything I imagined for my life felt like it was slipping away

“Remember that first day we became friends?” I asked trying to distract myself

“Yeah, ya came and sat with me at lunch, had that green dress on and lil matching bows in yer hair, ya were my first friend, glad ya came up to me that day” he smiled looking at me

“I’m glad too, you were so scared and a blushing mess when I was talking to you, it was adorable then I gave you my cookies and you finally opened up to me” I laughed remembering him snatching my pouch of cookies when I held it out to him

“I wouldn’ cute” he groaned

“Come on Daryl you were adorable you still are” I teased loving how he was getting red

“Stop that” he gentle pushed me making me laugh

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a long drive we finally made it to the quarry only to find a few people already camped out but thankfully they allowed I three to stay given Daryl and Merle’s hunting abilities

As daryl and Merle were setting up the tent I went around getting to know everyone and asking them what they knew about everything, it’s been scary everyone’s experience and lucky I had Daryl to get me out safely

As the sun got closer to setting I and the air was cooling I helped Lori clean some fish as she laid it over the fire

“Do you need anymore help?” I asked tired

“No dear you go relax for now we will come get you when everything’s ready” she smiled

I smiled and nodded as I made my way over to the tent, unzipping it I found Daryl and Merle having a heated conversation

I stepped in and took my usual place next to Daryl on his sleeping bag

“What’s going on?”

“There’s lots of folks here I say we jack all there stuff and get outta here ‘fore the sun rises” Merle said smirking

“Come on Merle these are good people we need to stick together and we are in a good place can we just see how things go I don’t wanna leave”

“Damn pussy, I knew we shouldn’ have come and got ya” he groaned as he left the tent

I sighed and turned to look at Daryl and of course he had a defeated look

“It’ll be okay Daryl! I’ve gone around and they seem like a good group to be with everyone carries their own part, we can make it work” I smiled trying to cheer him up

He didn’t say anything which was typical but I was fine with that I knew he wasn’t much of a talker I just hoped my words got through to him a bit

“So…..where am I sleeping tonight” I asked trying to avert the conversation

“Ya can take my sleepin bag I got a blanket I can use” he said looking back at the little thin blanket by the sleeping bag

“No daryl it’s your sleeping bag I can take the blanket”

“Nah ya ain’t doin that”

“Well….i mean the sleeping bag is big enough for us both to fit” I said feeling the heat rise to my cheeks, but it’s not like daryl and I have never shared a bed, we’ve had many sleepovers as kids when his dad was being an ass but this felt…..different

He shrugged his shoulder “sure might get cold tonigh’ anyways” always the survival man

“Okay umm….dinner should be ready soon we should go set up around the fire” i said standing up and pulling my shoes back on, I looked back at him and he was just staring

“Ya coming?”

“Ya I’ll be out soon” he said grunting as if clearing his voice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daryl’s pov

Me and Merle were coming back from hunting when we safe people on the sidewalks being torn apart, guts everywhere, people screaming and and we knew we had to get outta here

“We gotta get away from these things, we’ll stop by the house get some shit, my bike and we will head to the quarry” Merle said speeding to our crappy house

After we got everything I stopped Merle

“We gotta get y/n, I can’ leave her”

“Nah leave that slut here, just gonna slow us down”

“Man im gettin her, ya either follow me or not but im gettin her” I groaned as I hoped in the truck and drove off the her place

After I got her she was so panicked but tried not to show it but I could see it in the way she acted, I’ll do anything to keep her safe even if I gotta but my life on the line, she everything to me and has been the only one to keep me going, she’s my sunshine

~~~~~~~~

Normal POV

I got a seat on a log pushed up close to the fire some were sitting around as there was two fires going to keep the flames not as big

Finally Daryl came out and I pat the spot next to me while he laid a blanket over my shoulders

“Thank you” I smiled he always showed his friendship to me in little ways and they always made me feel warm inside

I handed him a plate of fish and some random vegetables the group has found

“So y/n, how long have you guys been together?” Jacqui asked startling me with such a question

“What?”daryl asked confused

“You and y/n, you’re a couple aren’t you, you both seem like the perfect couple” she smiled

“Oh no he’s my best friend, been friends since we were 9, barely been apart”

I looked at Daryl and he was clearly uncomfortable and the people around us could sense it as well so they carried on with their own conversations

After we finished eating he stood up and left towards the tent, I sat my plate ontop of his and thanked the girls for supper and headed of towards the tent as well

“Can I come in?” I asked at the tent door

“Ya” he grunted as I heard him shuffle around

I unzipped it seeing him changed into more comfortable clothes sitting on his sleeping bag

I zipped the tent back up and smiled

“Maybe I should have packed some clothes quickly before we left now I gotta sleep in jeans”

He shuffled through his bag and pulled out one of my big night shirts

“Where’d you get this?” I asked confused

“When ya come over for the night sometimes ya left a few things and I kept them just incase, thought I’d bring em along” he shrugged

“Thank god for those sleepovers then, mind if I change in here?” I asked taking the shirt from him

“Sure” he turned as I started to unzip my pants and pull off my shirt, quick to haul the oversized shirt over my head as I came down to the middle of my thigh

I folded up my jeans and “day” shirt and laid it by his bag

“K I’m done” he turned and started to crawl his way into the sleeping bag

He opened one side and waited for me me to join, it was snug but with the chilly night air god was it warm, I turned so my back was to his chest so we could fit more comfortably and he laid his arm over my waist

“Where’s Merle?” I asked not having seen him all night

“Said he was going down to the quarry must have wanted to get his own fish er somethin?” I hummed in understanding feeling my eyelids getting heavier

“Daryl….please don’t ever leave me” I said finally understanding the weight of everything and that this is probably gonna be our forever world now

He grabbed my waist and held me closer

“I ain’ never leavin ya”

My heart felt a bit later after such a strenuous day

“Good night Daryl” I said as I laid my hand ontop of his

“Night sunshine”

—-///—-///—-///—-///—-///—-

How is everyone liking the first chapter of this new series! I’ve very excited for this story! If you wanna be part of the taglist lmk!!

Taglist: @ghostboneswrites

Part 2<-

[bakugosworld]

Bitter not sweet

Endeavor x f! reader

platonic shoto x reader

Enji Todoroki and Y/N used to be a power couple. They used to be the most applauded couple at UA. Key words, used to be. Something disturbing happened to destroy their relationship, and now years later Y/N (a pro hero) is now helping teach and support her ex’s son in the same school she met his father.

Warnings: slight angst? Endeavor being Endeavor, trauma dumping, personal grudges

Endeavor could hear nothing but his own boots walking through the halls of his own agency. The place is empty due to the major villain attack that had happened earlier that day, and many of his sidekicks stayed to clean up the fight while Endeavor went to file some important paperwork due that day.

He shuffled inside his office and slowly shuts the door. As he makes his way to his desk his cell phone begins to ring. He quickly fishes it out of his pocket, recognizing the tune to be Fyumi calling. Thinking that there was an emergency he tenses up as he answers it. “Fyumi, what’s going on?” His voice alert. He hears her laugh from the other end of the line, his shoulders relaxed a bit. “Hey dad, I just wanted to know what you wanted for dinner? Shoto just finished his first day of UA and I want us all to eat together to celebrate tonight!” She seems excited as per usual.

Endeavor wraps up the conversation and stuffs his phone back into his pocket. Sighing as he sits down.

*earlier that day, Y/Ns perspective*

I had been hired as a new Heroics and Law teacher at UA high this year. I walked into the building for the first day of school and had passed a few familiar pros along the way. Once I reach my classroom I set down my bag and log into my computer. I had gotten the class environment set up during my orientation with Nezu who had provided me all the safety protocols and instructions. Once my computer is loaded I pull up my seating chart that EraserHead had provided and projected it to the wall, not even bothering to look at it.

I didn’t have a class untill an hour or two later considering I’m not a homeroom teacher, so I had decided to sit in the Faculty Room while I waited and caught up with a few long term friends. Once the bell went off I started walking to my classroom with Present Mic whose class is right next to mine. We stand outside the door chatting while watching the students trickle in one by one.

Eventually I had walked in to begin class. “Hello class my name is (pro hero name) but you can all me miss (last name)” I greet as I stand at the podium in the front of their seats. The class greets me back and I hear a few students talking amongst themselves quietly. “I going to call attendance so when I call your name just say a simple ‘here’. And if I mispronounce your name, please inform me right away. Understood?”

The students mutter words of acknowledgment. Going through the list, I seen a few surnames that are recognizable. “Next is shoto todo…roki…?” My jaw slightly agape as the last name rings in my head like a steel drum. The name Todoroki repeating itself over and over again. “Here” a monotone voice rings from the back of the classroom. I slowly turn my head up to look at the boy with split dyed hair. There’s no way. He looks exactly like him. Like her too. My heart squeezes in my chest. I thought I was over it.

I break myself out of the thought. I’ll just look into it after class. “Katsuki Bakugou?” I continue with roll call despite being shaken. I hear an angry grumble “here” from the opposing side of the classroom. I sigh and continue with class as normal despite me screaming internally.

A few students came to talk to me after class, some of them wanted to know more about my pro hero life *cough midoria cough* while others wanted to know more about the subject I would be teaching them this year. One student in particular left the class without a word to anyone. Yep. That’s his kid alright.

*back to the todoroki household*

“So shoto.. how was your first day?” Endeavor asks before shoving food into his mouth. Shoto sighs “it was fine..” Endeavor looks up to his youngest son. “What about your teachers? What teachers do you have, I want to make sure you have the best of the best so you can reach your goal” endeavor shoves more food into his mouth while waiting for his son’s response.

“My homeroom teacher is Mr. Aizawa. Then I have Miss (L/N) for Heroics and Law. Then I have Present Mic for English.” Shoto muttered quietly but it was loud enough for Endeavor to hear. Endeavor choked on his rice and slammed one hand on the table to stabilize himself while the other beat at his chest to dislodge the food from his throat.

Fyumi panicked and started to pat her father on the back, while asking him if he’s okay. Natsuo held back a very slight smile and kept eating. Endeavor finally cleared his throat and started down at the table in disbelief. ‘…y/n??’

After that incident he had finished his food and left to his room muttering a small ‘thank you’ to Fyumi for the dinner. Endeavor sat on the edge of his bed, looking towards the ground and his hands cupped around his mouth to help calm him down. He sat there for hours, thinking back on memories of you two in your high school days. It had been a long time since he had thought of you, he tried to suppress the memories due to the guilt that ate him alive.

—flashback—

“Enji!” Your voice rang through the halls of UA, he can hear your footsteps grow increasingly louder. He glanced over his shoulder to see you running his way. He smirked slightly and faced away from you, unsurprisingly, you jumped onto his back, like you always did, and wrapped your arms around his neck, and legs around his waist. He chuckled a bit “Hey hun, have a good day?” He asked while pushing you up his back by your thighs and holding you there. You nod into his neck. “It was good, Toshinori helped me push even harder with my quirk today during training” you say smiling. Enji slightly frowned at the name but was still happy for you. The truth is Enji never cared for Toshinori but didn’t absolutely hate him either. “That’s great darling, I’m happy for you” Enji bounced you on his back jokingly. You laugh as he spins you both around. “Thank you beef cake” you tease, and plant a sweet kiss on his cheek.

—End of flashback—

Enji sighed and sat up a bit more. He looked around his room, seeing pictures of his kids and a few with Rei. He walks to his closet and grabs out a small box. He sits down on his bed again and opens the box that contains photos. Sifting through a few, he finally found what he was searching for. It was a picture of you and him together outside of UA on the first day of your third year. You were wrapped in his arms standing infront of him, both of you smiling widely.

He set the photo on his bedside table and threw the box under his bed. Finally deciding to go to bed since he had to leave early for work tomorrow morning. He lays down and stares at his ceiling. Little did he know, his dreams will be filled with memories of you that night.

A week later

You were sitting in your empty classroom, it was half hour before first period started when you heard a knock on your door. You looked up from your computer, wondering why anyone would be here so early to talk to you. “Come in” you project your voice so they can hear you. Slowly the door opened to reveal Shoto Todoroki himself. “Sorry to bother you so early Miss (L/N)” he gave a small bow to you. “You’re not bothering me at all Todoroki. Is there something I can do for you?” I say turning towards him to give him my undivided attention.

He looks sort of puzzled. “Yeah actually, I wanted to talk to you about something” he says still standing at the door. You pull up a chair next to you and pat it, signaling for him to sit down. “What’s on your mind kid?” You say as he sits down.

“I guess I’m just confused.” He says tilting his head slightly. “How so?” You asked him, slightly mirroring his actions. “I found this in my dad’s room.” He says lifting up the photo of you and Enji together. You sucked in a breath and felt your heart drop, now understanding what this is about.

“What is this about? Clearly you and my father know each other. Very well. So what exactly happened?” He says looking up to you. noticing your shocked face he immediately felt bad. “I apologize if I had made you uncomfortable Miss (L/N).”

Finally, you shake out of your shocked state. “No, no. Don’t worry about it Todoroki. And to answer your question, your father and I.. well.. we used to be together.. but that was a long time ago.” You say quietly. Todoroki nodded.

Todoroki had asked a few more questions to which you were happy to answer them. He then left to go to his first class, leaving you completely alone to think about Enji.

Aizawas class had a field trip today, so the only classes you had to teacher were 1-B and 1-C. Which was relatively easy considering they are both calm classes. For the most part. That was untill you were getting ready for your next class when Mrs. Midnight burst into your room. “(Hero name)!! we need you to help immediately!! Class 1-A has been attacked by villains at one of our training centers! Your class is getting covered by nezu, please hurry!!”

Chills ran cold down your spine. You immediately bolted out the door and ran as fast as you could to your car. Breaking the speeding limit as a hero looked bad, but your students were in danger. You were doing 80 in a 30. The only thing you can think of was how scared your students must be, but you know they can handle themselves.

You were, unsurprisingly, the first hero on scene. Bursting through the doors, you took in the battle before you. Immediately jumping into action, you protect your students with your life. You hold off the villains untill the rest of the pros show up.

—a sort few days later—

(I’m not good at writing fighting scenes sorry)

You thought it was a horrible idea. Anything can go wrong. It was absurd. Hosting the sports festival directly after a villain attack?? That’s just disrespectful to the students who fought hard to stay alive during the attack.

You angrily grumbled to yourself. You were walking around the stadium to ease your mind. The first task just finished, Midoria taking first place which shocked everyone. You huffed and leaned your back against a wall. “Enjoying the festival so far?” You heard a voice ask.

You peak up to see nezu approaching you. “Yeah I guess so” you mumble. “What seems to be on your mind (y/n)?” Nezu asked while sitting on the ledge next to you. “Is this the right thing nezu? Having the festival right after the attack? Won’t it put everyone on edge? What about the villains? Wouldn’t they show up here if they really wanted to?”

Nezus face never changed. “I see why you’re concerned (Y/N), but this festival is supposed to take the students minds off of what happened. And for the safety, we have plenty of pros here incase anything does go wrong. It would be the villains downfall to prey on the kids now”

You relaxed a bit more with that statement. “Yeah you’re right” Nezu nods. “I am, well I do have to go now. If you need anything else you know where to find me” nezu says as he wanders away.

You once again are alone. You stand up and start walking down the hall. “So. You’re a teacher now?” You shiver at the deep voice and you stop in your tracks. “Yeah. What about it?” You snap back. You turn around to see endeavor who had just turned the corner. “You’re teaching my son.” He replied with his casual RBF.

Scoffing, you cross your arms over your chest. “Really? I had no idea.” Your voice dripping with sarcasm. He didn’t seem to appreciate that but he stayed quiet for a moment. “Is that all you wanted? If so, I’ll be on my way.” You turn around to leave once again.

“It wasn’t my choice”

—flashback—

“What the hell enji?!” You screamed at him. His eyes dropping from your face down to the floor. “Did you have this planned the whole time??” You you yelled a bit louder once more, tears brimming your eyes. He, too, teared up. Feeling ashamed of himself.

It was the day before your graduation from UA, and Enji was here before you telling you, after three years, that things won’t work out. “Was I a joke to you?” He didn’t respond..

What was worse. Is he had proposed to Rei, your best friend of thirteen years. “How long were you together for?” Your voice filled with venom and tears. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to know the truth. Was this even real? Who would propose to your girlfriend’s best friend and not the girlfriend?

Even after all the talks of ‘I can’t wait to marry you’ ‘we should have kids’ ‘I’m gonna grow old with you’. You had foolishly believed it all.

He wanted to say something to soothe you, he wanted to hug you, to kiss you, to tell you everything is gonna be okay. He wanted to make the whole situation go away. He felt a deep hatred for himself, and for his father.

—flashback ends—

“The hell do you mean ‘it wasn’t your choice’” you mock, growing more irritated. He sighs. “I didn’t want to marry her” you scoff “yeah right. Now you’re just wasting my time.”

Enji grows agitated now, but still hurt. “It was my father. He forced me into the marriage. For benefits of the quirks. He threatened to ‘get rid’ of you if I didn’t cooperate. I knew you’d be safer staying away from me, so I left. I did as he said. Because I loved you. And truth is, I believe I still do.” He mumbled the last part. Sure, you’ve seen him several times throughout the years. You kinda had to considering he’s the number two pro hero. He’s at your meetings, on the same patrol route sometimes, on the scene of a crime. He’s everywhere. But this is the first time he’s addressed you since the break up.

Hearing his words though… you wanted to believe him. You had found the piece of yourself that still loved him too. It that didn’t change the fact that he was married with several kids. And you couldn’t do that to them. Especially shoto as you’ve grown fond of the boy.

“I’d love to believe you. Truly. I still care for you Enji, dare I say I love you. If I could, I’d be with you right now. But we can’t be together. Never again. As much as I do love you, you must think of your family first.” You say as you turn away and walk down the hall, heading towards the stands to watch the rest of the festival. Enji watched her walk away for what felt like the hundredth time, and his heart shattered.

But little did either of them know, shoto was standing just around the corner, listening to the conversation. He too, had grown fond of you. He had even started looking up to you as if you were the mother that he never really had. Needless to say, he was just as disappointed in his dad as his dad was with himself.

[kaelidascope]

Fandom and LGBTQ Hostility and My Experiences Trying to Exist in Both Spaces Online

I came into these spaces with a very strict rule that I would not react or do anything cancel-worthy out of an overabundance of caution. Digital footprints are dangerous. The things you say online will follow you around forever. I know that first hand. I’ve bottled up and stayed silent about a lot of things I’ve either witnessed first-hand or experienced because I was trying to maintain a clean online persona. I’m not an ‘airing out dirty laundry’ type person. 

In light of recent events however, it’s gotten so bad that I can no longer sit here and not say something about how I feel. I’m disappointed and frustrated with the experiences I’ve had both in fandom and LGBTQ+ spaces and I can’t be complacent. I’m tired of getting treated like this, I’m fed up and I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I feel it’s important I voice what I’ve been watching and what’s happened and how I’m not going to tolerate it anymore by calling it out first hand. 

This is a two-topic rant. They overlap in some instances, but it directly has to do with how fandoms behave in general towards each other on Twitter and Tumblr, and also how absolutely hostile LGBTQ+ individuals are nowadays to each other on the same platforms. 

I come from a different generation and a different social media platform. I wasn’t on Twitter and Tumblr until last year. I’m not dismissing the fact that I may have missed out on decades worth of culture and social expectation. The places where I come from aren’t exactly fantastic either, but at least here, more queer people are interacting with each other with shared interests much more widely than in places like DeviantArt. The amount of culture and information I’ve absorbed in one year is more than I ever had within the past twenty years. It should be a good thing, and I’m disappointed that it wasn’t. 

This is not the way I wanted to come out online to anyone. I’ve been figuring out where I sit on the gender and sexuality spectrum for a while now. I will not document a specific timeline for anyone because that’s nobody’s business but my own. Within the last year, I took a massive stride forward in exploring things I legally didn’t think I was allowed to. I expected backlash from cishets and the usual thing I see LGBTQ+ folks write essays over, about how the world hates us, but at least we have each other. Shockingly, the backlash didn’t come from straight people. It came from other queers. 

I am 27 years old and I am entirely self-sufficient. I’m mixed Puerto Rican living in a red state. English wasn’t even my first language. I don’t have a network, so I’m teaching myself these things. I'm asking questions. I'm reading materials and expressions of self-experience and self-identity through fanworks and other autobiographical content. I'm actively trying to seek community and support through transgender and non-binary individuals with shared interests and so far all I've been met with is hostility and assumptions. So much so that I've now been made to feel like I'm on a timeline to figure it out so I can have a well-practiced, short introduction to copy and paste to every person who comes across me. And the only reason I even need one is so that they can make the decision to pass judgement over whether or not I'm allowed to speak, write, draw, wear, act, breathe the things I do. I'm disappointed. I'm anxious. I honestly feel more shoved into the closet now than I ever did before and I shouldn't be. Nobody should be treated this way when trying to figure out who they are. I probably won't even get an apology for the things that were said to me, either. I pride myself on the extraordinary caution I take to be politically correct, vetted through reputable sources, and as close to authentic as possible. And yet somehow I’m still getting called things like terf, transmisogynistic, triggering, when I’m fucking trans myself and all of my content gets vetted/REQUESTED by trans individuals. I get promised up and down that people are kind and welcoming in these sorts of spaces and honey, they aren’t. The people you choose to be friends with aren't as inclusive and friendly as you think they are. You don’t even know me and what body parts I have. The fact that you need to know in order to decide whether or not to treat me with respect is telling of an internal issue that has nothing to do with me. 

I have no reference point. I live in a place where laws ban anything gender and trans. I have no local resources or community. I've barely met any LGBTQ people in person. If I have, they never came out publicly. Most of my queer exposure has been online, and the fact that I've seen nothing but angry, mean, exclusive and discriminating behavior without any sort of reasoning why other than selfish defensiveness, I don't know where else I'm supposed to go for support. Something a lot of you guys need to take into retrospect is anyone who identifies as LGBTQ gets shot where I live. We have sundown towns here. If you don’t even know what that is, good, but also that’s telling of your privilege that you need to consider when talking to others not from blue states. I didn’t grow up in an environment where we had these highly liberal culture points and the word ‘gay’ was never allowed to be said out loud. We did not have gay clubs in school. I'm about as fucking late to this as you possibly can get. The only reason I know anything about our history, representation, and barely anything about what's socially acceptable and what's not, is because of the internet. So many of you had the privilege of being exposed to this information as young as under the age of 10. I didn’t. Sue me for not immediately knowing what every gender label means right off the bat. Half that stuff isn’t even legal here. 

I can't believe it's boiled down to the fact that I have to somehow justify my existence on this Earth and give an explanation that fits into predetermined boxes just to do anything to engage with other people. I have no time or space to figure it out. I’m disorganized and overwhelmed because I can’t ask questions about ‘can butches do this?’ ‘How versatile is transmasc/transfem?’ ‘Am I more genderqueer or do I fit under the trans umbrella?’ Gender and identity is fluid and ever changing. I have actually seen people harp and attack individuals for "defaulting" or "detransitioning" when they change their mind after giving this big coming out speech. It’s like support on these platforms is entirely conditional and a one-time thing. Y'all really expect people to wear the first style of shirt they buy for the rest of their life? Are we not allowed to do anything unless we know for sure? How’s college working out for you, for those who believe this mindset?

The vocally aggressive ones who use big words that contradict their statements can do, say, and be whatever they want.  But people like me can't. The ones who have to straight pass in public to keep their jobs and maintain their life safely. Some of us have been on our own since 19 with no family support. Consider the environment someone lives in before assigning your harsh assumptions. I can’t just change myself on a whim without doing significant damage control. Half the jobs I work for don’t even allow unnatural hair colors. If we list our pronouns as anything other than our assigned sex at birth, it causes legality issues with taxes. The way I have to navigate how to explore my identity and also keep a roof over my head and my bills paid may seem highly conservative to most. It’s in no way shape or form meant to reflect disrespect on how others live and express themselves. I am doing the best with the environment I have. The way I do things is not meant to be read as a message of ‘you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it the way I do.’ None of us are wrong. That should not be the subliminal message here. 

You know someone actually challenged me on that? Saying I was being harmful for purposefully straight presenting in public? Please research your country and state specific laws before you say that to me. If I could afford to live somewhere safer and queer-friendly, this conversation would be different. I am working on getting the fuck out of this state. But I don’t have a partner or parents money to default on. I’m doing this by myself. It’s not impossible, just a slow process. 

I'm disappointed and fed up. I've reached my limit, and I don't really care anymore if someone uses this essay to try and cancel me 5 or 10 years from now when the world goes through another gender renaissance of terms and identities. I will not put up with being treated like this when you refuse to listen to anyone else other than the sound of your own voice. I’m trying my best to learn, adapt, and express myself. I do not need to be lectured or be called derogatory things just because you think I’m coming from a malicious place.  

It’s not just about the hostility and gate-keeping behavior exhibited in online queer spaces. The same exact thing happens in fandom spaces too. People get pissy about queer headcanons and presentations so much to the point of taking it upon themselves to police the fandom and scrub it clean of “impurities.” I’ve watched y’all go through people's social media pages for any type of ammunition for justification of a personal grievance. It shocks me how much hyperfixation gets put on specific and morally harmless things when there are people out there writing diabolical shit way worse than what I have to offer. And y’all happily support them too but bark at me about what I make cus that author fits your social criteria and you assumed I didn’t. Don't think I'm ignorant to every single scrap of hate mail and harassment I've gotten over the past year and a half in my inboxes. Including the passive aggressive posts about my work, vague tweets, and discussions about me in discord servers. Over what? Have you actually read my work? If it’s actually as problematic as you say it is, provide me with a modern and unbiased example why this particular scene and execution is harmful. And not because you got triggered or disliked the kink, or read the summary/tags and assumed it was something it’s not. I don’t know how much more caution tape, massive warnings, obvious clear-cut tags (that were provided to me by queer individuals to PUT on there in the first place) out of insane amounts of caution I can do. I have always been willing to provide spoilers and explicit details in case someone is unsure how they’ll be affected by something I make. If you already don’t like it based on my warnings, that’s always been more than okay! My work is not for everyone. I’m getting tired of politely and respectfully saying please move on, because the message seems to be getting lost in translation. So let me be clear; 

Get off my pages if you don’t like what I make. It’s not for you. It will never be for you. Dead dove. DO NOT EAT. PREFERRED DEMOGRAPHIC 25+ ADULT CONTENT RATED E FOR EXPLICIT. I can recommend so many other fantastic creators with better suited content for you! If I could hide my content behind a roped off section deliberately keeping you from seeing it, I would. BLOCK ME. 

If your response to this section is ‘well then just don’t write it’. Honey, there’s people out here in the RWBY fandom writing trans incest actively commenting on all your shit and you respond back. A magic grimm-goo strap and monster smut featuring a transfem character (again, requested by literally 3 trans people and WRITTEN by one) should be the least of your worries. 

I have actively chosen not to address the harassment and hate mail, because it's sad that half of you hate me so much you need to make a point of telling me so regularly. I sincerely hope moving on with your lives will grant you peace of mind. Truly.

This is why I barely interact with anyone. Nothing but hostility, harassment, and expectation to behave in ways I cannot emotionally commit to. I am exhausted, uninspired, and have such a bad taste in my mouth it's proving extremely difficult to want to do anything creative. It’s been worse with my recent exploration of my gender identity. Opening one door to write about certain things somehow, miraculously, closes ones I previously existed in. I’m practically getting kicked out if I’m not 100% one way or another. I don’t go out of my way to shove my content down your throats. Why you feel the need to come to me and tell me you dislike my existence because you read it, despite me stating this is not for everyone and probably not for you, doesn’t have anything to do with me. Idk what else I can do. Disappear off the face of the planet, I guess. That seems to be what the overall solution is when y’all find something you don’t like. I can't believe I witnessed grown adults in their mid twenties with self-proclaimed senses of rightness start a trend on Twitter to go through people's mutuals and their likes to see if they’re socially acceptable in Fandom spaces or not. That was fucking ridiculous. And especially not fair to those who had their private accounts leaked and put on blast when it was already behind an vetted follower wall. Believe it or not, people draw weird, lewd, diabolical shit. They’re actually being responsible by putting it behind a paywall, or some type of ‘proof of age before following’ requirement. It falls on the people who go on there, take screenshots, and post them publicly for minors and non-consenting individuals to see without filters what was previously hidden. It’s irresponsible and immature. 

For fear of getting canceled by the Fandom, I moved all 600+ accounts I was following onto a private alt. I don't interact with my main anymore. I went so far into hiding and didn’t dare share anything about liking content made by people I wasn’t allowed to like, because that’s how cruel it is out here. It's honestly stupid I even felt like I had to do that. For what? People glazed over the brief moment of drama within a few weeks and went right back to posting the same shit they always have. They find new things to gossip about on their privs. New enemies to cancel on Twitter. New things to deem problematic and attack. 

I will be heard with this letter. I don’t care to be associated with anyone who treats people like this. I don’t believe in it, I won’t support it, and I’d rather have a small circle of people who won’t be rude or attack other people for existing. I’m not going to sit here and take the abuse any longer. Leave me in peace. There is no reason any of this should be happening. 

This is not meant to undermine the support I have gotten from the few who know what I'm going through and have given me the space to figure it out. I appreciate every question answered and insight provided as much as your abilities allow. I'm so grateful for it. I just wish it wasn't 2 people while everyone else is an asshole.

[dirtytransmasc]

I've been thinking about what it might have been like if blond Peter Parker didn't die, like, if he got to mentor Miles, cause screw canon, I do what I want. (context; everything else happens, Peter B, Gwen, Noir, Penni, Spider Ham still show up. Goober still breaks. Rush to shut down the collider, etc. all that still happens, Blond Peters still there though)

the thought first and foremost in my mind, is that while in a playful manner, he is very protective and almost possessive of miles, in the "this is my kid from my dimension, I'm his mentor, he's my responsibility, I've had him for five minutes, but so help me god, anything happens to him I'm killing everyone here and than myself, look at him wrong, I will fight you" type of way, all the while keeping a friendly smile on his face, even if its slightly unnerving.

teases Miles about Gwen and his little crush on her, while also not exactly playing match maker cause he knows they're gonna be separated shortly. its a bittersweet thing for him.

he praises Miles so so so often, like, whenever he does anything, cause he knows Miles is scared and a kid and he needs to know he's doing a good job.

tries to protect his childhood and innocence, not wanting him to feel like he has to take up the mantle of spiderman just yet. always telling Miles that he "always gets up" cause he doesn't want Miles to feel like he has the responsibility of replacing him on his shoulders. this comes up more and more as they set out to destroy the collider.

always has a hand on Miles, mostly on his shoulder, so he knows his kid's fine and his kid knows he's not alone. he also does the forehead stroke, where he rests his hand on Miles's head and strokes his thumb over the center of his forehead. also also, he rests his elbow on the kids head, I don't know why, I just know he's that type of guy.

they hug a lot, mostly in the moment, when neither of them are really thinking. he just pulls miles into his side and squeezes him, which Miles ends up turning into real hugs after a while.

does the worried dad "check over" every time they escape a conflict. always asking if he's ok or just staring at him, trying to make sure he's ok. basically, he's a big worry wart.

"kid/kiddo" and "punk" are go-to's

when Miles is anxious, he stands closer to him, only touching when Miles leans into him.

held Miles when his uncle died, not letting him go through it alone.

gives him the "leap of faith" talk, alongside many other pep talks, cause the guy is good at those, before the collider, and gets to watch from a distance as Miles comes into himself as a spider man.

tries to keep Miles from the collider anyway, cause the stakes are too high, and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if anything happened to Miles.

isn't surprised when Miles shows up anyway.

still has a near-death experience, leaving Miles to be the one to take down Kingpin, send everyone home, and shut down the collider. He wants to give up, badly, he's tired, but Miles needs him, is begging him to get up, just this one last time, and then Miles would be spiderman. Miles has to half drag him out to the streets.

he'd bring him to his dad, cause he's a kid, and the one person he's been able to lean on in this shitshow is half dead, and he's scared, so he finds his dad and comes clean out of desperation, begging him for help.

is one of the only people Peter actually wants to see while recovering, he stays at the hospital night after night just so he can be there for Peter, like Peter had been there for him, not letting anyone drag him out until after he's woken up, and even then, it's like pulling teeth to get him to so much as go to the caf to eat.

he spends whole days with Miles teaching him to cope with his spidey sense, use his webs, etc.

keeps him away from the big things, but lets him help out on patrol to give him a taste of the action.

takes hits for him, even if Miles tells him not to, cause that's his kid, and that's just what "dads" do.

when Miguel tries to recruit Peter, Peter is extremely protective of Miles, especially when he finds out he's technically an anomaly, making sure no one hurts him or undo any of the work he's done in terms of making Miles confident in himself and his abilities.

is in support of trying to save everyone, no matter what canon says, as he's literally the parental/mentor of a whole-ass anomaly and knows Miguel's theory is crap or at least mostly crap.

once everything sorted out, Spot and Miguel and Earth 42 wise, he ends up taking Miles 42 in as his own as well, and sticks around with Miles as (at least in my head, cause I say so) he stays with Miguel and HQ to be recruited.

Miles tells Miguel that Peter will ignore his own well being and pushed himself past his limits to protect Miles, because he thinks if he shows Miles weakness, the kid will feel like he has to replace him and will get stressed out/abandon what remains of his youth. he makes Miguel bench the two of them when Peter's not doing so hot so he can recover physically and emotionally.

Peter eats over at the Morales household once a week, assuring Miles's parents that he's safe with him every time.

insists on making Miles a suit for the colder months that's a little more cold resistant and when they're not in the suit, he's literally throwing coats at him.

kinda takes up the place in Miles's life that his uncle once held, being his safes pace, the person he turns to when it all goes to shit.

goes to Miles's school events.

if Miles falls asleep somewhere, like at HQ, Peter goes on guard like any dad, putting himself between Miles and the people around them so his sleep goes undisturbed.

do y'all want more of this, I might go somewhere with it if it does well.

[redactahoe]

even more redacted headcanons

i am losing my mind :D

this is just my opinion none of this is canon this is all for shits in giggles and i will infact repeat myself for previous headcanon post srry this is also only somewhat orginized and super unedited

ever person in the shaw pack has/had a crush on darlin

darlin has been voted as the 'hottest person in the pack as well

babe is classically trained in piano and viola and one day dreams to own they're own grand piano don't worry davids rich ass may or may not be planning this as a wedding gift for them

playing off that last point babe hates it when people after finding out they can play, start demanding not asking no demanding them to play something. everytime this happens (which isn't often at least with the shaw pack that is) asher has to physically hold his mate back from violently shoving they're viola bow up the assholes... asshole

instead of hush just waiting at docs apartment for them to come home from work, he would rather creepily sit with his knees to chest in an extra spinney chair in the corner of docs office. like he'll act 'normal' when its just him and doc, but if someone comes in for any reason hell stop talking and just watch them

mentor actually isn't that nice to they're coworkers but when they first saw ollie they were smitten, like ollie is the only person they talked to outside of work stuff. they were not there for water cooler small talk😭but for ollie they would do anything

on that same not i am a firm believer in james spouse being stoned faced with everyone except james and the hand full friends that they have

asset loves listening and asking questions to anton or james talk about their respective spouses

anton has been slowly building up a collection of shiny rocks hes either fond or bought so when he finally gets to go home to his partner and give to them

david is actually besties with babe because their both people who see Asher on a consistent bases and therefore meet up every other week discussing the various type of shenanigans asher gets into

darlin and brights have a bone room in sam and darlin's house.... let me explain, so it is of my firm belief that 90% of the shaw pack is neurodivergent and darlin is not exempt from that. bright also has some vague form of neurodivergent that bright refuses to anyone and this all comminates into both of them coincidently having the same special interests in bones and animals in general. and since sam (according to asher) owns this big ass cabin in the middle of the woods, it was perfect. and bright didnt have the bone room is because they had a small enough collection to keep in their room at sams place. that is until darlin moved and pulled up with their extensive collecting that they've had since the age of 10 and sam was very willing to put one of those 'guest room' nobody uses them bright happen to be there the day darlin and sam were able to get the aforementioned bone collection home form storage and they lost there collective mind with excitement. and sam got watch with this fond and loving twinkle as bright and darlin ramble and trade facts about animals and their bones (and darlin got to teach bright how to properly clean bones it was adorable)(ok ill shut up about this)

angel loves to recreate outfits from many types of videogames and tv show and uses packmembers (read as: tank and asher) as mannequins.

going off that last point(again) david loves listening to angel ramble about they're latest project and intentionally searched and bought a house with alot of big ass closets so angel can hang up all of the finished ones and store all of the stuff they need to make

ftm!guy is rarely ever dysphoric b/c while honey isnt the greatest at expressing their emotions they are incredibly attentive with guy and his needs and wants so this means that honey is always checking in on him. not only that but early on when they were just roommates that one other girl's boyfriend that they were rooming with (i forgot her name) made an off handed/gross comment about guy and honey literally kicked his ass out. like they picked he disgusting ass up and threw him out of the fucking apartment.... guy still laughs about to this day.

i fully believe that the damn polycule does and should include laskos listener (dear) and they can infact dom anyone

all of the de(a)mons can infact purr but gavin and caluem are most open about that fact.

lovely didnt grow up or live the riches life so when they started to dating vincent they had hard time excepting all of Vincent and williams expansive gifts all the while Vincent love langue is gift giving

lovley loves music so much. like its the hyperfixation, anything to do with music and i mean anything lovely could probaly tell you about. and much to willams delight that means he now has someone to talk about music and art from his time peroid (hes over 500 y/o yall) and them knowing exactly what theyre talking about

despite the fact that alot of people will say that lovely is William's fave, its actually untrue. williams favorite is actually darlin, i know i know but stick with me here. i think alot of the clan members to tend to question or disagree with william because hes their king but darlin is very diffrent. i think that once they start attending clan meetings the kinda behave like they're at pack meeting b/c its essentially the same thing. so theyre always asking questions, giving suggestions and even calling william out when he sometimes gets things wrongs. and william loves this, he loves how engaged they are and recognizes that thats just how darlin shows that not only do they care but that theyre listening. hell he'll even tell someone (even if sam has alredy told them the stfu) that trys to rudely interrupt darlin with " YoU SHoUlDnT iNtErRuPt ThE kInG!" to stfu if you dont have anything meaningful to contribute

everyone(excluding like a handful of people) in the both shaw pack and the solaire pack is kinda protective of babe and angel. and its not just because they're both humans its mostly because both of the are humans that treat others as humans. let me explain, so in empowered society ive noticed that vampires and shifter are treated differently form other empowered people. its really supple but anyways both angel an babe see no reason to interact with vampires and shifters any differently from how they would interact with any other person and most of them really appreciate that. people tend to talk to shifters like they're animals of some kind and people tend to act like all vamps have no control over theyre impulses and hunger and when both are asked angel tells the person that no matter what kind of magic got, it doesnt matter. because at the end of the day they all are/were human. with babe youll get similar answer but they'll tack on that its important for everybody to remember that they are people, human of not people are flawed and will make mistake. and trying to pretend that your above/below feelings and flaws is very bad for ones mental health. and thats how alot of older generations of shifter/vamp end up living in the middle of bumfuck no where, borderline insane and very lonely

welp thats it for know

thx for reading sorry if i forget any tags

[archiveikemen]

Ellis Twilight Main Story: Chapter 2

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Warnings and FAQ

Ellis: Sorry for the wait, Jude.

Jude: … Ah?

Jude stared at Ellis in disbelief for a moment when he noticed that he had brought me along, but he surprisingly said nothing about it.

Kate: I’ll be accompanying you as the fairytale keeper. I look forward to working with you!

Jude: … Tch.

Jude clicked his tongue at Ellis as though to say “cut the crap”, completely ignoring my existence.

Ellis: I submitted the declaration for today’s shipment last night.

Jude: Of course you did. I’ll cut your pay if it’s not received first thing in the morning.

(Besides working for Crown, they also have work to do at the trading company… they must be very busy.)

To avoid getting in their way, I walked behind Jude and Ellis while silently observing them.

…

Based on my observations—,

Jude was the boss of a trading company named “Raven” which dealt with both domestic and international business, it also had branches in other countries.

They held their negotiation meetings in the VIP rooms at London’s biggest department stores, and their goods inspections were conducted at London’s pier…

Time seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye while I was following them throughout the day.

Their work ethics, however…

Jude: No making new deals until all debts are settled.

Jude: Of course there will be consequences for failing to pay your debts. If your debts are too much for you, you’ll pay for them even if you have to cough up blood.

Jude was sharp and a good speaker; he commanded respect from his business partners, was subjected to envy from his rivals, and his employees admired him.

Meanwhile…

Ellis: Okay, I’ll handle the rest.

Ellis: It’s easy to make mistakes in these documents. Let me know if there’s anything you don’t understand; I’ll teach you and we’ll correct them together.

Ellis was well-liked by others because of his gentle demeanour and thoughtfulness wherever he went.

(The two of them are polar opposites of each other.)

As we went on with our day, it was soon nearly noon on Big Ben.

Jude: You don’t need to come with me to the main office. There’s no knowing what people will say if they see an extra person.

Ellis: Mm, got it.

Kate: Thank you for letting me come along with you today.

Jude: … Heh, I look forward to hearing you say that the next time you come.

(What does that mean…?)

I tilted my head in confusion at his words.

Jude: You brought her, so you clean up after her. This has nothing to do with me.

Ellis: Yeah… I will.

(… Ellis seems to know what he meant.)

Jude walked way without so much as another look at me, and Ellis turned to me.

Ellis: You must be tired. Sorry for dragging you everywhere.

Kate: No, I’m not tired at all! I have lots of stamina because of my previous job as a postwoman.

Ellis: I see, that’s good. … Well then, while we’re here…

Ellis: Can you come with me for a little bit?

I was asked to stay for a while longer, and—

…

(W-Why are we here…!?)

We arrived at the post office I used to work at.

Ellis turned to look back at me when he noticed me hesitating at the entrance.

Ellis: What’s the matter?

(That’s what I really want to ask him right now…)

Kate: I know a lot of people here because this used to be my workplace… is it really okay for me to have interactions with them before my one month is up?

Ellis: Victor said that there are no restrictions on your activities apart from going outside alone, so I guess this is fine?

I blinked in surprise at his casual response.

(That’s not something I’m in the position to decide… is this REALLY acceptable?)

Ellis: I have some mail to send out. I’ll handle the procedures myself, go ahead and do whatever you want while you wait for me.

Kate: Okay…

Ellis made his way to the counter, leaving me behind at the entrance.

(I wonder what would happen if I asked someone I know for help and leaked classified information…)

I couldn't conceal my confusion at my suspiciously relaxed “surveillance”.

(At least… this means that Ellis trusts me to not do that, I guess?)

(However—)

(If classified information is leaked, they’ll get rid of everyone who knows about it, including myself…)

— “Do we kill her?”

I suddenly remembered those words he said so casually and shook my head in a panic, when…

Coworker with Braids: Kate!?

Kate: Ah.

Coworker with Braids: It really is you, Kate! Everyone, Kate is here!

The other coworkers heard them and immediately gathered around.

Red-Haired Coworker: Kate~ why did you suddenly start working at the palace? What’s going on?

Coworker with Black Eyes: We were so worried about you.

(Even though they’re this worried about me because I suddenly stopped coming to work…)

(I can’t tell them the real reason for my absence. Not now.)

(I don't even know if I’ll come back in one piece after a month.)

(But…)

I pushed my anxiety aside, not wanting to make them worry more.

Kate: I’m doing well. I still don't really understand what's going on because today’s only my first day of work, but I’ll definitely figure it out.

Coworker with Braids: I mean, it’s THE Kate who can turn any complaining customer into a good one; I’m sure you’ll be fine, wherever you are.

Red-Haired Coworker: We were at a loss and felt so lonely after you disappeared so suddenly…

Kate: I’m… really sorry about that. The situation is beyond my control.

Coworker with Braids: I guess you can’t really refuse orders from the palace.

Coworker with Black Eyes: We’ll always have your back, Kate.

Red-Haired Coworker: Hey, take this!

Red-Haired Coworker: We bought these together and wanted to pass them to you if you happened to drop by. Glad we could!

Kate: Eeh… you guys bought this many things?

Various presents were piled up in my arms.

There was a blanket, cookies from my favourite shop… so much that I was afraid I would drop the items if I moved.

Ellis: Let me help you carry them.

Ellis appeared next to me and took over the items.

All my coworkers simultaneously turned their eyes towards Ellis immediately.

Coworker with Braids: Wait a second… who is THIS!? Is he Kate’s boyfriend!?

Red-Haired Coworker: Oh I know him! He’s that scary businessman’s bodyguard!

The situation went into chaos like a hornet’s nest being disturbed.

Coworker with Braids: Kate, you must give us a good explanation of your relationship with this handsome man!

Kate: Uhh… we met at the palace yesterday because of work. We have a purely professional relationship.

Coworker with Braids: Hmm, you two seem way closer than that.

Red-Haired Coworker: So suspicious…!

Kate: Hey… calm down, you guys…

Ellis took over the remaining items in my arms while I tried to calm my coworkers down.

Ellis: I caused quite a commotion… sorry. I’ll wait for you outside.

Kate: Ah… I’m sorry too! I’ll be quick.

Ellis: Take your time :)

I watched as Ellis nodded politely at everyone before leaving the post office.

(I made him worry…)

Coworker with Braids: So you got married before returning to work, huh…

Red-Haired Coworker: Congratulations.

Kate: I’ve been saying, that’s not true…!

…

— In the end, the commotion was resolved when our supervisor said “please, let’s leave it at that”.

I bid my coworkers farewell and stepped outside to meet Ellis who was leaning against a lampost with my gifts in hand, waiting for me.

(He looks like a work of art even from a distance.)

His refined physique and long, slender legs made him stand out.

Kate: Sorry to keep you waiting.

Ellis: Nope, not at all. … You could've stayed to chat more if you liked.

Kate: It’s fine! Umm, about the rude things my coworkers said earlier on…

The jokes about him being my boyfriend when we had a purely professional relationship might have made him uncomfortable.

(I have to make it up to him somehow… ah, I know.)

Kate: There’s a shop nearby that has delicious baguettes. Please let me treat you to something there as an apology.

Ellis: …

Ellis stared hard at me, looking like he just made a realisation.

Ellis: I think I get why you received so many gifts now.

Kate: Huh…?

Carrying the large bag of gifts from my coworkers in his hands, Ellis took a step closer to me…

He leaned in, his face so close to mine that our foreheads almost touched.

Ellis: You don't have to treat me, but I’m curious about your recommendation.

(... Ellis is still a mystery to me.)

However, there was no doubt that his kindness had found its way into my heart.

As proof of that, our conversation during our second meal together went more smoothly compared to the one we had over breakfast—.

…

Kate: Oh… it’s already gotten this late.

It was almost sunset when we left the shop.

Ellis: … We should hurry and return to the castle.

Ellis muttered in a low voice while staring at the streets getting dark.

It was my first time hearing that urgency in his voice, and I realised how overly lighthearted I was being.

(Perhaps he has plans for tonight, and yet I kept him outside for so long.)

Kate: We can save some time if we take the shortcut through this alley.

Using the navigation skills I got from working as a postwoman, I walked into a narrow alley.

Ellis: Ah…

Ellis: … It’ll be okay if we’re together, I guess.

We hurriedly made our way through the dimly lit alley where the sunlight didn't shine, and we were only a little more away from reaching a well-lit street.

Man in Hunting Hat: …

Suddenly, a man appeared and blocked our path. I instinctively tried to pass him by moving to the side, but—

(Huh…?)

The man extended a foot, stopping me from leaving.

I sensed that something was off and turned around to see two more men emerging from behind.

Man in Hunting Hat: You’re Jude Jazza’s woman?

(Jude?)

Kate: No, you’re mistaken… who are you people?

Man in Hunting Hat: We’ll confirm if you’re telling the truth later. Capture her.

The three men drew their knives and attacked.

(Wha- What!?)

Ellis: Kate, hold onto these for a minute.

Kate: Whoa…!

I was handed the bag of gifts from my coworkers in the middle of the chaotic situation and Ellis deflected their leader’s attack with a black dagger.

Ellis: This might get a little scary, but it’ll be over soon.

While I stood there at a loss for words, Ellis did as he said and swiftly knocked the men out.

He only used his dagger to counter their weapons, and relied mainly on his long limbs to handle them.

Ellis: … Done.

Ellis lined the unconscious men along the side of the path and gave each of their heads a light tap like a finishing touch—

Their wrists instantly stuck together, almost like they were in prayer.

Kate: Amazing…! How did you do that?

Ellis: I can bind people’s wrists like this by touching their heads.

(Now I remember…)

— “Cursed people” possess special abilities ordinary people don’t.

I recalled what Roger once said to me.

Kate: I see… so, this is your special ability?

Ellis: Yup. That's right. It’s convenient for such situations when you don’t have rope.

With a satisfied smile, Ellis effortlessly took over the bag of gifts again.

Ellis: Jude tends to get many people holding grudges against him, so he often gets attacked like what just happened.

Ellis: It’s unusual for him to have a woman with him, so those guys must have misunderstood you for his lover.

(Grudges… I see.)

Somehow or other, I realised that this happened because I followed them to work during the day.

(To think being attacked like this has become a routine, working for a trading company must be hard.)

Ellis: … Sorry.

Kate: You don’t have to apologise! Thank you very much for protecting me, Ellis.

Ellis frowned slightly and shook his head.

Ellis: To be honest, I saw this coming. I knew something like this would happen if I brought you outside with us.

Ellis: But… you looked disheartened when I said I was going to work today.

Ellis: I made the selfish decision to take you along. … I’m sorry for that.

(Ellis…)

He said it was selfish of him, but I knew very well that everything he did was for my sake.

(Breakfast, telling me about all the members of Crown, taking me with him to work…)

(Even our trip to the post office could’ve been for me.)

Kate: I was happy throughout the day, so… you really don’t have to apologise.

I smiled to express my appreciation for Ellis�� kindness.

Ellis: … Okay. Glad to hear that.

Ellis lips curled into a warm smile — much like the last ray of sunlight cast by the setting sun…

Maybe it was because of the approaching twilight, but there was a strange troubling feeling that caused a stir in my chest.

…

Upon returning to my room, I opened the bag of gifts from my coworkers.

“We’re concerned about you, Kate”

“Feel free to contact us anytime.”

The kind words in the letter from them made my heart feel warm.

(The only reason why I could receive these from them… was because Ellis took me to the post office.)

The joy I felt at that moment was all thanks to Ellis’ efforts to make me happy.

I’ve stepped foot into a different world.

For one month, there’s no going back to my original daily life—

It felt like he was telling the frightened me that “everything will be alright”.

(I now feel more confident about surviving this one month than I did this morning.)

(All the more so with Ellis by my side.)

— And so, I welcomed the next morning with a renewed sense of determination.

…

Victor: I heard about it, Kate. You were attacked by Jude’s business rivals yesterday?

Kate: Ah, yes. But I remained unharmed, thanks to Ellis.

Victor: That’s a relief to know, but… Miss Kate, if your safety is put at risk before the end of the contract’s one-month term—

Victor: — Crown’s confidential information will also be at risk of being leaked! Am I right to say that?

Ellis: Yeah.

Jude: … I have a bad feeling about this.

Victor responded to Jude’s obviously displeasured tone with a broad smile…

Victor: For that reason, Jude and Ellis, I’d like for both of you to take up the role of Kate’s bodyguards!

(What!?)

Jude: Ah?

Ellis: … Bodyguards? :0

[bkdk-myrelationshipacademia]

Deku

“Kacchan, I -- I just wanted to say that I know this was supposed to be a punishment. I know that you probably don’t care,” Where was I going with this? I needed to stop talking, but it was too late. I felt myself about to tell him what I have known since we were kids. “I just want to say thank you. I know I am not your favorite person, and spending time with me today must have been challenging, but…” This is it either the next two day alone with him would be the best or the worst possible thing to happen to me. “I just wanted to say…”

“Hey guys! It smells great in here! What are you making?” Uraraka came in putting a halt to whatever it is that I might have been saying.

“NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!” Kacchan yelled. Uraraka looked a little upset by it, and instead of responding went directly to get on the elevator. Kacchan looked back to me after she got on headed upstairs.

“Kacchan, that was mean she was complimenting your cooking. You could have just accepted the compliment.” I told him this as I started walking towards the same elevator. The anger in his eyes dissipated.

“Wait!” He called after me “What were you going to say? You never finished.” What was I going to say? If Uraraka hadn’t cut me off how would he have reacted?

“Nothing. Just thanks for teaching me how to make Sukiyaki.” I said defeated as the rest of our classmates began to come inside. I headed towards the elevator to apologize to Ochaku.

~~~

Kacchan

Idiot. I finished making dinner and plated everything up for our classmates as the sun was setting. After everyone chose a plate there were three left. Deku hadn’t come down and neither had Ochaku. The longer they stayed up there the more upset I got. I decided to grab my bowl and start eating. Surrounded by my classmates chatting and talking, but my mind was entirely occupied. What on earth could they possibly be talking about.

“-- today, Bakugo?” Kiroshima had just asked me a question.

“What?”

“I asked what you got up to today.”

“Oh nothing Deku and I worked out, cleaned the house, took out trash, did laundry, and cooked dinner.” Simple response: he doesn't need to know the details.

“Dang you spent the whole day together kind of a shocker.”

“Yeah well when Aizawa was here this morning he told Deku that we needed to do the chores together to increase our teamwork so we would be less likely to fight in our freetime”

“Aizawa wasn’t here this morning. He must have told Deku that last night.” He explained

Deku and I never spoke to Aizawa separately, meaning that if he didn’t stop by this morning… Deku lied. That damn nerd made me spend the whole day with him. He lied.

“Where are you going?” Suddenly I realized I was on my feet.

“None of your damn business.” I started walking towards the elevator and just as I had arrived the doors opened. Deku and Ochacowere standing right in front of me. I grabbed him by the back of his neck and started walking towards the men’s side elevator.

“Kacchan--”

“Shut it. You and I are going to talk.” That seemed to work because he didn’t say another word until we arrived in my room.

“So are you going to tell me what this is about? Why couldn’t we have talked downstairs.”

“Listen up. You lied to me. Aizawa wasn’t here this morning.” He looked ashamed. He was staring down at his feet, unable to look me in the eyes. The silence confirmed that he lied. “Why?” I needed to know I needed him to tell me that he had a reason. I wanted him to tell me that he lied because he wanted to spend the next three days together. I wanted him to tell me that he felt the same way as me. I wanted him to tell me that he cared about me the same way that I cared about him.

“I--” He looked shocked “Why are you giving me a chance to explain myself? I expected that you would be mad. I mean I expected you to kill me first and ask questions after.”

~~~

Deku

He was blushing. I mean the room was a little dark, but I was almost certain.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you. You forced me to spend the entire day with you under the pretense that I would be in trouble otherwise.”

“Well I just figured that we should get used to it. I know that your instinct is to fight it, but you're my friend. I care about you.” Before I knew what I was doing I was reaching out to his hand. He shockingly didn’t move it.

~~~

Kacchan

This was it one of us had to say it first. I needed it to be him. We have battled many times at this point, but this time the stakes were higher. He reached towards my hand, and I didn’t move it.

“Kacchan, I--” I couldn’t stand it. I pulled him towards me, closing the space between us. He stumbled a bit and looked at me. My gaze was fixed on his lips. I leaned in and kissed him. His lips were gentle at first testing the waters. Then he leaned into it a bit more. I felt the warmth developing between us. Then I pulled back.

“Sorry I’ll let you finish. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” What a dumb thing to say. Maybe we could just move on and he wouldn’t say anything more. Maybe he didn’t notice.

“Um… I don’t know what I was going to say. Maybe it doesn’t matter.” Something was wrong, maybe I read this wrong, maybe I shouldn't have done that. Then he kissed me again. I closed my eyes, and my heart started racing. I couldn't believe that 24 hours could make such a difference.

When he pulled away we just kind of looked at each other.

“So what were you and Ochaco talking about for so long?” Wow I am two for two on terrible things to say after a kiss. He looked a little upset by the question.

“Well not that it matters, but I was apologizing for you. Which to be honest you probably should do yourself.”

“All you did was apologize? That shouldn’t take an hour to do.”

“Kacchan… are you jealous?” Of course I was jealous but I didn’t like his tone.

“You damn nerd, I am not jealous. You were gone for a long time. I just wanted to know why.”

~~~

Deku

He kissed me. Then I kissed him. He is jealous, it's cute. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this side of Kacchan. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any side of Kacchan that wasn’t trying to kill me.

“So, what are we going to tell people?”

“Why are we telling people anything this is our business no one else has to know.”

“Well we have been in here for a while. What if someone asks what happened?”

“I’ll be telling them to mind their own damn business. You can tell them that we fought, you apologized and that I didn’t kill you because I didn’t want to extend my house arrest.” So he wanted it to be a secret which I mean I guess it's not shocking.

“What about if we are together around other people you still going to constantly berate me?”

“I’ll do that when we are alone too you damn nerd.” I smiled a little I don’t think that this is going to be a bad idea. I mean eventually we will tell people, but for now it is nice to keep this just between us. It was at that moment that I noticed that he never let go of my hand. I leaned in for one last kiss. This one felt deeper, almost filling me and emptying me with passion. A secret between the two of us. I think this is the first time I’ve ever shared something with Kacchan.

~~~

Todoroki

They have been in there a while. I wonder what they could possibly be talking about. Bakugo stood up and started walking towards the elevator. Just as he arrived the doors opened and Midoriya and Ochaco were standing there. Bakugo grabbed Midoriya by the neck and guided him towards the men's dorms. I wish he wouldn’t touch him like that. About five minutes had passed since they went upstairs. I decided as a good classmate it is my job to make sure that they aren’t getting into another fight.

I went up to Bakugo’s floor just to see if I could find them. I didn’t see anyone in the hall so I went to the door. I was about to knock when I heard Midoriya’s voice it was quiet but I pressed my ear to the door and heard him.

“--still going to constantly berate me?”

“I’ll do that when we are alone too you damn nerd.” After that it was quiet for a moment. Then I heard a slight movement. It sounded almost like… No, I'm delusional. Bakugo hates Midoriya. There is no way that is what is happening. Then Midoriya spoke again.

“Well, I guess I should get going.” I backed away from the door and made it back to the elevator. The doors closed. A moment passed and I realized I forgot to press a button just as I was about to the doors opened and in front of me was Midoriya.

“Oh… Hi Todoroki.”

“Hi. I came to see if you and Bakugo were fighting.” I’ve never been much for lying, but I saw no reason that he had to know I was listening from outside the door.

“No, everything’s good. No fights here. Nothing to worry about.”

“Well good I would hate for your house arrest to get extended. I need you back in class… I mean we all do. You push us to be better. Yeah.” Hopefully he didn’t catch that slip.

“Oh yeah I heard you talking about work studies but Ida said I couldn’t know about them.”

“If you want I could tell you but you would have to keep it a secret just between us.”

“Would you really!” He looked at me with those excited eyes and I knew I would tell him anything he would want to hear.

“Yes do you want me to?”

“Well I would really love it, but I am being punished and Ida is right I shouldn’t be allowed to know this information until I experience it myself in class” He was such a good kid. I should have known better than to tempt him with information but I found myself leaning in.

“Well if you change your mind you know where to find me” I whispered into his ear. The elevator dinged on my floor and I got off. I couldn’t look back I was too embarrassed with myself. I guess I could play off the whisper as me not wanting others to hear me. Truthfully I just wanted to get close to him. I'm not sure if what I heard in Bakugo’s room is right, but if it is then I need to work quickly. I can't let them get any closer. Not until I find a way to tell Izuku Midoriya how much he means to me.

~~~

<< Previous | Next >>

[eoieopda]

all right babe, i wanna hear bts as roommates cause i'm curious 👀

OOOH. love this. this speaks to the very specific brain rot i have about domestic, day-to-day bangtan.

namjoon — he’s very likable, so you can’t get mad, but good god is he noisy. like, dropping shampoo bottles in the shower (aka bombs) during the MULTIPLE daily showers he takes; talking through movies with his thots/predictions/trivia; the snoring; the banging of cabinets and pots/pans when he tries his best to pull his weight in the kitchen. however, he never forgets your birthday and reminds you about things he correctly assumes you’ll forget about (appointments — how does he even know about them??)

seokjin — you barely see him because he’s holed up in his room, gaming into the wee hours of the morning, but you can sure as shit hear him yelling :’) he’s the “i made myself a snack, so i’m bringing you one” type, always making sure you take breaks when you’re busy because he knows he’s bad at that himself. he’ll fix broken shit in your apartment (oppa/hyung will do it!) but don’t you dare ask him to trap a spider (oppa/hyung would rather die!)

yoongi — i’m sorry, but he’s gotta be a god tier roommate. he keeps to himself for the most part, but he’ll quietly drop into your space when he craves human contact. like, you’re at your desk doing whatever, and he’s just sitting on your bed, vibing. he’s got major nesting energy, too, so he’s collecting carefully chosen decor + putting furniture together himself. he lets you help to some extent because he wants to teach you, but he realizes this was a Dangerous Move and banishes you to watch from a safe distance.

hoseok — he’s the renaissance man of roommates because he’s an 1) in-home hype man, 2) a cleaning fairy, and 3) a social butterfly. he forcibly removes you from your room when you’re becoming too solitary and ensures that you always have the option of plans — if and when you want to utilize them. had a bad day? not anymore, bitch!! it’s time to laugh until you pee!! just not on the floor he just mopped, okay? ✨💕

jimin — he’s the one your friends/family are most excited to see when they visit you. OMG IT’S JIMIN — oh, and you’re also here :’) you’ve given up on being the hottest gworl in the apartment because you know it’ll always be him. and of course your closet and/or skin care are now communal, whether you were aware of it or not 🤷🏻‍♀️ has simply the best “tough love” advice, the best house parties, the best vibes. and you KNOW he’s the one (1) person who shows up to your shit, whatever that may be (career-related awards banquets, recreational volleyball tourneys, etc.)

taehyung — you literally never know where he is or what he’s up to, but his dog is cute, so there’s that!! he forgot to mention that he’s going to paris/barcelona/the moon until he facetimes you from some insane party to let you know that he forgot to put out the candle he lit in his room several days ago. but when he is home, there are no dull moments. he does end up in your bed most nights, though it stopped surprising you when you wake up to find him strapped around you like a human backpack.

jungkook — he’s made you fully nocturnal with his late night noraebangs and galaxy lights. you don’t remember the last time you saw the sun. what is daytime? 🤔 who is it for? NOT Y’ALL. there isn’t a single executive function functioning between the two of you, but at least your laundry is always done :’)

[valentijnsstuff]

I don't even post on tumblr that actively anymore, but I think it's good to keep up my week report, even if it's just for myself.

Monday some gay shit happens (see last week report)

Tuesday some more gay shit happens. I clean my house, see my dad and go to a queer meetup about polyamory. All the poly besties are there. I proceed to be a menace and annoy all of them for attention seperatly (they all think I am cute). During the actual talk group, I provide some queer youngsters with cuddles. I offer the person who is practically my neighbor and who keeps cuddling me really intimately a ride home and they invite me in for more cuddles. They cuddle me in ways that make even me flustered. I go home with increased feelings of falling for this person.

Wednesday morning I do nothing 👍 in the afternoon my volunteer comes over for the first time. He's a funny, but concerningly normie gay guy. I feel like I'm babysitting him more than he is me (Boooooo). Neighbor cutie text me if I can hang out again and I have to say no (sad). Thank god my homecare besties ask if I want to go for an impulsive evening walk on the beach, so I ditch volunteer. We walk untill we are super hungry and order roti rolls for dinner.

Thursday. I go to teach comic workshop at a highschool. Couldn't sleep out of nervousness bc its the first time in a year doing the one thing that traumatized me to begin with (teaching teenagers while visibly trans). All in all it actually goes pretty okay, one of my comic friends is there and good work is done. I make a bombass dinner and text neighbor cutie if they want some food and they actually say yes. We circle the subject of our flirts a couple of times, and tease eachother a whole lot in the process. Meaningful conversations about kink and friendships also happen. Eventually I have the gut to say that their teasing make me want to kiss them on the mouth, their reply is that I should ask for a kiss then (the teasing is neverending with this guy) We do end up kissing, its very sweet. I get a bit insecure and fidgety about asking too much, but they reassure me all is good.

Friday, day two of teaching workshops at the highschool. The older students have noticed me and are starting to make comments within earshot, which puts me on edge. Two seperate times I turn around and tell the guys (it's always dudes) that they should just say it to my face. Both times are met with them defensively reacting to my confrontation, but not owning up to their shit (maybe for the better). Teaching classes actually goes well, eventho I am tired as hell. The kids are behaved enough and make great work. I even get to talk to one class that I would prefer to be called 'mister' and the kids really try their bestest. I accidently skip therapy bc I am double booked with work and forgot to cancel the session (or just didn't want to idk). My hookup date for the evening cancels, but I'm not even mad. Probably for the better to have a night of nothing. Post funny pictures of myself in a maid dress on insta, all the homies go wild.

Wake up saturday morning with the idea I can take it easy. Eat breakfast, do make up, make a foxy little video of dancing to my favorite song. Oops now its actually already time to go. Bring lunch to my comic bestie, who has a booth at a small local furry con. I get to spend the day in my maid outfit and feel cute and help out my bestie (yay). I drink bubble tea with way too much sugar and feel really wired from all the sounds and sights. I run into my younger cousin who I dont speak to often (he is a gay furry lol). Also so many transmascs, its a good time. I text my poly bestie to see if she is into a spontaneous cuddle session, she declines politely. I go to a birthday party of friends I haven't seen in a long time. I proceed to bother everyone there for attention.

Sunday, I dont even feel that bad emotionally, but I had insomnia the night before, so my body refuses and I just spend the whole day in bed. I watch anime, cook way too much mapo tofu, but can't be arsed to do anything else.

Monday starts really slow, but I manage to 10 pushups (new record!). I go the the office to work, but my head is heavy and I cant focus at all. I want to blame the airflow in the building, but I'm also just running low on energy bc I didn't eat enough. End up calling some people to say hi and check in on instead. Do some shopping, do some tufting. My friend who I was supposed to hang with in the evening cancels. Go home and eat more mapo tofu. I make the mistake of opening Grindr and get chatted up by some supringly nice people. One them is a bottom who really wants me to top him (haha funny), and the other a clingy autistic transfemme who is lonely and just wants to hang out. I have an impromptu hangout session with her at 11 in the evening. We drink tea and watch dungeon Meshi. Feel very wired afterwards and dont fall asleep untill 4.

[felidaefatigue]

I'm so sorry you're going through it with that.

Word of advice from someone who did that (only with the living room) : don't. Not only did no chore ever get done in there for like 3 months before i gave up on it, it also created this hell where i got so used to how bad it was and still haven't gotten out of the hole of letting it go for so much longer than is good for my mental health and my partner was horrified when i told them, and said that they wished i had told them how i felt.

what does work: putting the chore list somewhere public. i used to have a binder with a checklist for each room in a sheet protector so i could refuse it but I'm the only one who ever looked at that binder.

it takes some set up but i really love the nipto app, which if one person does significantly more than the other it tells the slacker that nipto (a cute dinosaur) is disappointed in them which is shockingly effective.

also it sucks but you probably are gonna have to teach him a lot of things. if he hasn't lived on his own before and his mom didn't make him help with house cleaning he straight up doesn't know what all goes into it.

that was my experience anyway, good luck, i hope your partner picks up the slack!

I appreciate the amount of effort you put into this! And im sorry that youve had to deal with similar and an unfortunate impasse for so long.

But yea haha i know its a bad idea and would not help anything; hence the toxic bit. As much as its a tempting impulse actual direct communication is the only thing that will ever resolve an issue. Mostly the post just functions as a vent complaint at the moment. The chore list doesnt suuuper work unless I made a point of designating what is expected of him cause I write myself lists on things everywhere all the time cause adhd.

Luckily I dont have to worry about the last bit about teaching him to clean, he lived alone a lot and with friends and in a disgusting punk house so He Knows and has taught other male friends how to clean properly lmfao. When he wants to he legitametely does a better job than I bother to do. He just has as much of a shithole brain as I do and takes on the suck of life too much in a similar way and its just like. hard to prioritize. And since i make a habit of it its like not required of him for the most part so not high on the priorities. Which is like not ideal sure but my brain will do the same thing so I dobt blame him for it until I bring it up as smthn thats bothersome and not just a passing minor annoyance

[no-phrogs-in-hats]

If I Could Turn Back Time

Larissa Weems x fem!reader

A/N: Cross-posted on Wattpad and Ao3; to the anon who I told that this wouldn't be posted for awhile...uhhh...surprise?

Chapter 7

The next day, I sat on the couch with my cat in my lap. I moved my hand down his back, slowly stroking his fur as I stared at the TV and watched reruns of Grey’s Anatomy, my nose only slightly throbbing today.

A knock on my door drew me from my thoughts and I groaned as Gingie jumped off and ran, meowing at the door until I came over. I looked through the peephole and to my surprise, it was Larissa.

I opened the door to see her standing there, a headscarf covering her hair and her eyes soft–almost solemn. I could see a sense of pity in her eyes as she saw my form–hair a mess, bags under my eyes, and a ripped pair of sweatpants and a tattered oversized t-shirt I still wore after my ex broke up with me a couple years prior. 

“Larissa, what are you doing here?” I asked. 

“Well after our phone call last night,” she said, “I couldn’t help but get the feeling that you weren’t okay. You sounded like you’d been crying.”

I chuckled at her remark. “Was it that obvious?”

“Unfortunately,” she sighed, following it with a soft smile.

“Oh, do you wanna come in?” I asked. “I need to clean up a bit, but it’s nothing too bad.”

After letting Larissa in and my cat becoming completely attached to her, I brought her to the kitchen. “Can I get you anything?” I rummaged through my fridge to get a soda for myself. “Water? Coffee?” 

Larissa set her purse down on the counter. “No. Thank you, though. I just came by to see if you were okay.” There was a moment of silence before she spoke up again. “Would you like to come by Nevermore tonight? I can’t take you right now, I’m waiting for a student, but I could show you around the school before you start teaching there.”

“Of course,” I said. It was hard to hide a smile as I looked at her. “I’d love that. Thank you.”

For some reason, I had every urge to dress in nice clothes. Why was I going to such great lengths to impress this woman? 

There was something about her. No other woman I’ve come across has been like her. Maybe it’s her perfect lips–painted rouge to match the passion I harbor for her. Maybe it’s her eyes–that sweet blue that even the calmest of waters envy. Or maybe it was something beyond her physical appearance. Something I would never see with my eyes or feel with the tips of my fingers, but see with my heart; something I would experience or hear–how she laughs at the oddest things, how she’s willing to sacrifice herself for the people she loves the most, the way she cared so deeply for me that first night despite the fact that we hardly knew each other. To this day I still cannot pinpoint it, but just the thought of her made my heart race. 

I took a deep breath as I climbed into my car. My hands gripped the steering wheel to the point where my knuckles were white as I approached the wrought iron gates. I had never seen the school in person before, and the pictures of it do not do it justice. It was so much more magnificent in person–especially during sunset.

After putting my car in park, I hesitantly got out, trying to keep calm. When I approached the door, I was careful to make sure it was a push door, not wanting a repeat of the last time I had spent an evening with Larissa.

There were a few students roaming the halls and when one of them directed me to Larissa’s office I thanked them. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest as I climbed the stairs. And when I met the gold plaque that read Principal Weems, I nearly stopped breathing.

I knocked timidly on the large, mahogany door and a quiet voice came from the opposite side.

“Come in.”

When I entered, I was in awe: The office of Principal Weems was like no other room I had seen before–and Larissa made it even better.

“Ah!” she smiled, looking up from her computer. “Y/N! I was hoping I’d see you tonight.”

As I approached her desk, I chuckled. “How could I pass up an opportunity to see you again? But it’s also a pretty large school, and I wouldn’t want to get lost on my first day.”

She stood up and beckoned me to follow her. As we walked through the corridors, her sweet voice graced my ears and part of me felt dazed.

“Y/N?”

“What?” I could barely recall the past few minutes and we were now standing in front of a door.

She smiled at my oblivion. “I was just saying this is your classroom. My office is right down the hall, so if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate.”

Oh I won’t.

We continued through the school, and every hall we went through, every staircase we climbed or descended, curious looks were thrown our way by students. 

“Is that the new history teacher?”

“I wonder if she’s a normie.”

“Do you think she’s nice? She looks nice.”

Larissa smiled at a group of students exiting the cafeteria, the chipper girls greeting her warmly.

“As you can see,” Larissa said as we continued walking, “this is the dining hall. Teachers and staff are welcome to eat there. I prefer to have my meals in my office, however.”

We took a stop by the trophy case and I admired how many there were. So many clubs and activities were held at this school, and it made my heart ache to know I missed out on it.

“You were on the rowing team?” I gaped.

Larissa smiled brightly. “I was! It was one of my favorite extracurricular activities. It still is. I’ve always loved the Edgar Allen Poe Cup…Ophelia Hall hasn’t won since I was in school though.”

“Ah, so you were the glue holding it together,” I grinned, eyeing her.

“Oh, God, no!” she giggled, her hands clasping in front of her. “No, I was the copilot. But the captain and I were…close. Grew apart with time, of course, but that happens when you graduate.” There was a pause before she turned her head to look at me. “Do you still keep in touch with any of your school friends?”

My smile faded briefly before appearing once again. “No, I never had any close friends in school…I was…troubled.”

“Ah,” she said, smiling softly. “Well, I won’t push you any further.”

After showing me my living quarters (“Of course, you have your own house, but if you ever get tired, you’re welcome to stay here.”), she walked me to the front entrance. “Well, that’s all the necessary areas to show you.”

“I don’t think any picture online could truly capture how magnificent this academy is,” I mused, my head turning at all angles to look around. “Even after the tour I think I’ll get lost.”

Larissa’s lips pursed together in a grin as she walked me to the door and out into the courtyard where my car awaited. “Well, I’ll be happy to show you around again on Monday if necessary.”

Opening my door, I looked back at her and smiled brightly. “With that offer, I suppose I’ll just have to get lost on purpose.”

[the1975attheirverybest]

The subject discussed in the last asks reminded me of a poem by Nayo Jones, about mental health, self-love and romantic relationships.

.......

Healing

I had a therapist tell me once, it was ironic how much love I gave out, 'cause I didn't give much to myself.

She laughed, like self-love was a sick joke.

I chuckled, then cried at home.

I had someone tell me once, I could not love anyone else until I learn to love myself.

This time, I got to laugh.

This time, the sick joke was mine, was me.

Might as well wait forever.

I remember hating myself at the age of seven, journals filled to the brim with criticisms.

By eight, I had enough pages to stitch them into wings to fly close enough to the sun, to see my tears turn to steam, felt the wax burn on my shoulders and mold into thick skin.

I was nine when I wanted to die.

Thirteen when I found a solution, figured if I could cut my legs enough gravity would let me go.

When it didn't, I tied a pillowcase around my neck, twisting like the rope swings I knew so well from childhood, heard my heartbeat pound in my ears like a warning drum, then fade.

I'd almost convinced myself I'd done it.

When I started writing, I smeared my blood on every page to remind myself that everything beautiful has a consequence.

I'd hoped to stall the clotting long enough to give myself to the craft and let myself go.

I have died so many times.

So when I told you that loving you almost makes life worth it, I was not joking.

When I tell you that loving you almost makes me forget how much I hate myself, it is not poetry.

Loving you is taking all of the love I could never give myself and putting it to good use.

It is reminding myself that if someone can love a dying thing this way, can hold the Lazarus of my body and give thanks for the way it holds back.

If someone can kiss the scars, administer the pills, absorb the bad days and wake up smiling next to me, then I can try to breathe again.

Because self-love does not always come first.

Or second.

Or even ever.

But your love be the guardrail on the ledge, be the drawers that hide all the sharp things,

Be the body that carries my collapsed frame into bed, be the flowers you bought,

Because even though they are dying too, they still dance.

Love will not heal me, will not wipe my slate of a body clean - I will always be a woman of wounds, of rope-mark neck and melted skin.

Love will not heal me, but it will hold my hand if I ever heal myself, and maybe teach me a joke that I can stay alive long enough to laugh at.

I love you, enough to want to love myself too

........

As a person who struggles with mental health issues, I can relate. It's not that I'm not able to take care of myself alone or that I don't want to, but it makes it easier on bad days to think that I have someone worth fighting for.

Trigger warnings: the poem above contains mentions of suicide.

This made me tear up. I couldn’t get through it without crying cuz I LITERALLY COULD HAVE WRITTEN THESE EXACT WORDS MYSELF.

And yeah, I know what you mean, when someone else is involved, sometimes out of pathological desire not to be a burden on anyone or not to affect them with my depression or whatever I’ll force myself to do stuff and push through. Which I don’t do on my own. Sucks man. But thanks for being here and for sharing 💗 at least it helps to know we’re not alone.

[zappedbyzabka]

Camboy Johnny making good money through private sessions. He doesn’t show his face but he still has regulars. His favorite regular is the one that goes by Silver; he pays well and is kind to Johnny as opposed to some of the other regulars. Johnny’s secretive though, can’t let anything of his personal life slip because if anybody knew, he’d be ruined.

Johnny’s just finished for Silver, who instructed him through a jerk off session. He’s expecting to go off video soon but Silver requests something new. He asks Johnny to clean himself off on camera and get dressed. Johnny doesn’t say no, especially after the sum Silver payed him. He quickly goes off camera to grab a towel, forgetting about the shelf behind him filled with his Cobra Kai gear and All-Valley trophy. When he comes back and starts cleaning up and changing, Silver clears his throat.

“So.. Cobra Kai?”

“What?” Johnny goes pale.

“You must be a good fighter if those trophies mean anything.” Silver praises him. Johnny can’t bask in that glory though, because he’s terrified. He panics and quickly says sorry before ending the call.

Johnny tries to shake off the fear when he goes to class the next day. He’s dressed in his gi, standing in position when Sensei Kreese comes out of his office to start teaching.

“Today we have a special guest who’ll instruct class today, an old friend of mine. Be your best today for Sensei Silver.” Silver walks to the front of the class and Johnny can’t breathe because it’s his Silver and he knows he could be caught. What if he tells Sensei Kreese? Johnny can’t think anymore.

As class goes on, Johnny sees Kreese point to him and Silver starts walking towards him. Johnny stiffens at the hand on his shoulder, and if he thought Terry’s hands looked big on screen, they’re massive in real life.

“Johnny, is it?”

“Yes, sensei.” Johnny finally turns to meet Silver’s eyes.

“Johnny, I don’t like how you left me yesterday.” Terry figured it out easily.

“Please don’t tell anyone.” Johnny feels like crying. Silver discreetly grabs Johnny’s hand.

“I would never. I want you to myself anyway. Tonight. I’ll send you the information.” Silver walks away with a shark like grin.

That night, Johnny receives a message with an address that takes him to Silver’s mansion. After a quick talk with Silver, Johnny ends up in his bed, fucked out and crying, with Terry cleaning him up before settling next to him in bed. It isn’t long before Johnny gives up his camboy job and belongs to Terry fully. (And Kreese because Terry has to let him in on it)

Yessssssss

The last video Johnny ever posts is a video of Terry fucking him and making Johnny practically scream out who owns him because Terry said he wanted everyone to know.

Soon enough, Johnny barely leaves Terry's mansion unless he's being brought to Terry's work and sat under his desk all day until Terry feels like using him, or he's being taken to some gala as Terry's arm candy.

Terry kind of pimps him out, but only when it serves him; he lets whatever rich old perv in power that he's trying to win over fuck Johnny, he lets Kreese fuck Johnny because that's his captain, y'know? and the last person he tries to give Johnny to is Daniel, this of course is to manipulate Daniel further. He knows Danny boy's history with Johnny, so he must want revenge, right? What better revenge than beating and fucking your enemy as much and as many times as you'd like?

He presents a half-naked Johnny kneeling on the ground to Daniel, and orders Johnny to beg for Daniel to hurt him.

Daniel does not react as he had hoped.

[only-freaking-sunflowers]

Why I didn’t actually hate my shitty job?

Just a wee blog post amongst all the Eurovision flooding your dash right now. Sponsored by Uber Eats, Google Sheets, and Neurodivergency. 

I’ll keep this as brief as possible. LOL jk I probably won’t, let’s be honest. 

At the end of December, I started working for a local music school. You know, the kind that teaches kids to play the piano or the guitar, or (unfortunately) the violin. (I’m surprised at how many people think it’s cool that I worked at a music school, idk what they’re picturing? It wasn’t that cool.)

And no, this is not at all where I pictured myself, or at all what I went to school for. It just beat going back to the mall, cause working retail kicked my ASS.  

And here’s exactly the thing. This place– while absolutely laden with the kind of bullshit that only small businesses run by a Gen-X white man with an inflated ego are– did not kick my ass. On the day to day, it was actually quite pleasant to be there. And best of all, it was neurodivergent friendly.

What I mean by that is that I got quiet time at the start of my day to ease into things before the kids arrived, drink coffee and answer emails, not to mention that my day started at 12:30pm which is freaking fantastic for my sleep-wake delay. The music teachers, the coworkers I had physically around me everyday (other admin staff, like me, I only ever saw over Zoom, I was the only admin in my location) were lovely people who made the environment really fun. I’m not a kids person really, but I saw the kids in brief passings while they waited for their teacher to be ready for them or their parent to come pick them up. I let them draw on the windows and always had a stocked basket of stickers, so I gained my cool status twice over. I got to run pretty much all the creative aspects of the studio– I wrote on the windows in chalk markers, I decorated the whiteboards, I hung streamers and holiday decor, not to mention learning how to use Canva so I could make our social medias pretty and engaging. And I got to be surrounded my music and creativity all day. 

And I didn’t take it too seriously. It’s music lessons, it’s supposed to be fun. This isn’t a law firm or a hospital, it’s a music school. We’re in the business of letting kids have fun and foster a love for a music and creative expression, the same love that I have.

I felt love for this place and I wanted everyone else to, as well. If you haven’t been able to tell yet, I lead from love, always.

Sometimes I let the mundane tasks slip, I’ll admit. I didn’t take the trash out when it was raining. I didn’t always clean the toilets. Sometimes the phone calls waited until I could muster the energy to talk to a stranger over the phone (but they always got done).

This place definitely had its problems. So many problems. As I said, so much bullshit that only a place like this could have. And our management/staffing structure was.... abhorrent. I had a lot of piling responsibilities, being the only admin staff to work there full-time. We didn’t have a kitchen or a break room, or a fire alarm... or much of anything at all. Let’s not even start on the surveillance issue.

I should’ve run from this place way sooner.

But I liked it there.

No one really gets why. And that’s okay. I’ve had to justify it a few times over the past two weeks– as two and a half weeks ago, I was abruptly fired, and I’ve had to say to people in my life that yes, I worked in a hurricane but specifically I worked in the eye, so it was actually kind of pleasant to be there, even if it was a disaster.

I just texted my favourite coworker cause I remembered her birthday. She turns the big 3-0 today. She said she hopes I’m well and she misses working with me. I never got to say goodbye to her, even though she was the last person I talked to before I got fired, we were making plans for advertising the summer recital as we walked out to our cars at the end of the night. Then I got fired in the morning before she got to work. 

This nagging non-hatred of the job, however shitty it really was, really muddles with the righteous anger of being fired. So I had to put these words somewhere. Apparently Tumblr is useful for more than shitposting and gifsets, huh.

Anyway I’ve applied for 15 jobs this past week so God give me the strength.