#i had to suss these out for myself

[snekdood]

Your impulse to believe every last bad thing people say about a guy and then if that guy is victimized by those people or the people who spread the rumors you dont even try to look into if thats even the case, you just assume hes bad by default-- yeah thats incredibly unfair to guys who are victims of abuse.

[foldingfittedsheets]

The location of the sex shop I worked was a haven for spiders. We had tall ceilings and skylights and unused storage rooms. It was a spider paradise. We quickly sussed out which coworkers to call on in case of emergency. The Dorito lady was a solid ally for spiders but absolutely petrified of moths.

But there’s actually a hierarchy of fear. Most people don’t realize. The person least afraid is the one forced to deal with the bug in question. If coworker B was scared, but coworker A was petrified, well coworker B was gonna have to screw their courage to the sticking place because by the law of fear they were the most competent person on scene.

Thus enters Rick. Rick first appeared in the back storage room. This room doubled as a second bathroom so we went in on a semi frequent basis. The girl who’d gone in to pee shot out again gibbering with fear about the biggest spider she’d ever seen had just run across her boot.

We sicced Dorito lady on it. She returned, shaking her head. “He was squatting on a power cord where it plugs in. I couldn’t get a clean shot at Rick.”

“Rick?”

She shrugged. “Spiders that big need a name. Seemed like a Rick.”

Rick, freshly named, became a store menace. I’d normally say this was probably a case of multiple spiders being mistaken for one but everyone who encountered him swore up and down there could be no mistake. This spider was massive, fast, and distinct. A gladiator among arachnids.

I never encountered Rick. His exploits grew in the telling but the theme was consistent: no one could kill him. He’d hunker in places that no one could reach and dart away when a strike missed. He also chased off the more faint hearted, charging them in bold dashes. There could be no benign cup transplant to remove Rick from the premise. He was not leaving.

The saga of Rick continued for two months. Not seeing him was almost worse, a fearful wariness when going to the bathroom or stepping into quieter areas. I waited with dread, hoping my eventual run in would have me on shift with Dorito lady to protect me.

It was not to be. There was a girl the same who hated my one moment of singing that was absolute piss-herself scared of spiders. She’d slam straight into a panic attack and couldn’t think or speak. And so it was that one night on shift, I heard her scream.

It was unmistakable. I was in the front window turning off the open sign. Through an obstacle course of mannequins and lingerie I performed an acrobatic sprint out of the window, darting up to find her quivering at the front counter, fully crying. I radiated calm at her and said, “Just point.”

I knew it was Rick. Our destinies were intertwined and we had always been pulled toward the inexorable battle that was drawing nigh.

Her hand raised to point to our sandwich board sign at the front of the store. So Rick had the metaphorical high ground. There was no quick easy strike on the slanted signs surface.

I armed myself and marched into battle, my knuckles white on my chosen weapon. I would do this, because I must. Because there was no one else. And because I wanted to close and go home.

I saw Rick immediately and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger spider since. Outside of a tarantula, he was truly the most massive spider I’ve ever beheld outside a zoo enclosure or terrarium.

We regarded each other. Rick launched off the sign toward me and I stomped my foot reflexively, making him pause in his charge. Then I raised my weapon. Anything else, I believe Rick could have evaded. He’d bested most of the store thus far. But I had chosen chemical warfare.

I doused the shit out of that spider with cleaning spray, stunning him with a barrage of chemicals. While he froze, choking on the unexpected deluge, I dropped a paper towel over him. My foot came down.

I felt his exoskeleton crunch and I can feel it still to this day. The shattering was as of bones and I truly mourned that we had been forced into senseless war. If only he has cleaved tighter to the shadows. If only he’d crawled willing into a cup for relocation. I released a full body shudder of horror, fear, and adrenaline as I stepped back.

I took several quivering breaths. I donned a veneer of calm and tidied the battlefield of it’s corpse then went to reassure my coworker that all was well, while internally I still shook.

You fought well, Rick. I hope you sired many more monstrous children to haunt retail workers in the years to come. Rest in valor, you monster.

[chainmail-butch]

As a transwoman in explicitly trans spaces I get treated like a wasp in a cup.

For example, I went to a speed dating event the other day. I'm pretty good at talking with people and dating apps suck. The venue had hosted other queer dating events including a sapphic event, which I had explicitly avoided. I did not want to roll those dice. But recently they held a T4T event which seemed like a much safer prospect.

I get there and its me, my roommate (transmasc, moral support) and my roommate's friend (transmasc-ish, also moral support). Apart from us there was one transwoman, one transman, and 3 AFAB NB Lesbians. Not a confidence inspiring turnout.

I spent the event making pleasant conversation, but as time went on I noticed that only the other transwoman and transman had really treated me normally. Everyone else was pleasant enough that I didn't fully suss out what was wrong until my roommate noted that they had all seemed a bit transphobic towards me. After that the pieces fell into place.

I can only assume its the masculine gender expression tied to the possession of a weapon (cock). I wasn't overly forward. I talked about a theoretical pet alligator, archeological digs, wind chimes, and architecture that I enjoy (Byzantine domes). Perfectly mundane and engaging topics. But I was treated like something unsightly. A task to be gotten through.

It hurts to show up to the event organized for people like me and still be excluded. I had avoided every other event for precisely this reason. I still found myself ostracized. This is not the first time this has happened.

I know that most of the people who follow this blog are cool. Believe it or not I've vetted each and every one of you.

You shouldn't need to be told this.

Address your internal biases. Please.

[dystopyx-blog]

more yandere octotrio!

Dedicated to @mr-trick <3 ty for your support

"Your grades have been slipping."

When you had been called into Azul's office, you certainly weren't expecting him to scold you like a parent. To add insult to, well, insult, Jade and Floyd were there, too, and the latter couldn't stop themselves from snickering.

"I wasn't aware that was any of your business." You shot back. You didn't bother asking how he knew–you'd had twin eels trailing you since Azul's overblot. It was rare for you to go anywhere these days without the sight of one looming at you from this distance. If their heights didn't make them obvious enough, there was the eyes. Though you had a feeling stealth wasn't the goal.

You'd be right. The tweels found it very important that you knew they were close by. Azul may have preferred for them to be stealthier, but they enjoyed your reactions too much. Plus, their presence kept others away. It's probably why Azul let them continue.

But back to the scene at hand.

Azul's response comes naturally, almost too naturally–as if he was prepared for that response. "Of course it is. The success of Night Raven students has always been my business–"

The look you hit him with was enough to stop him in his tracks.

He chuckled, adjusting his tie and his approach. "Of course, business has changed in recent times. In the past the goal was to attract as many poor unfortunate souls as I could, offering contracts with the goal to better myself, and not them. But now I've mended my ways and made a switch, so to speak. Now I wish to truly help and better those I come into contact with, starting with those I already feel close or indebted to. And what better first than the one who helped me see the light in the first place."

He waited for your response, but you offered none. Not unless you included your suspicion.

"Look, business has been rough lately since the incident, and helping you seems like the best way to restore people's faith in me."

"And thus the truth comes out."

You were so proud of yourself for sussing him out. What you didn't know is that that wasn't the truth–like at all. He didn't give a fuck what the other students thought of him, especially since he was still getting business regardless. This was about you and spending time with you, the strange, magicless student that had caught his attention like a worm on a hook. Buy to you, that would be even harder to believe than an act of true goodwill.

But that didn't matter anyway, because he had you. You agreed to help him out of the goodness of your heart–taking the opportunity to mock him. It was difficult for Azul to keep the smirk from his face as you fell into his hand. He could tell the twins felt the same way. Even if he couldn't see then standing behind him, he could still tell when Jade's gloved hand went to cover his smile, and when Floyd's slight sway stilled just enough to zero in on you.

With that, a deal had been made: you let Azul help you out of the "goodness of his heart," and you spread the word of Azul's redemption arc.

As soon as you're gone, Azul lets an easy smirk spill onto his face like oil in water.

"We got 'em boys."

What would follow is a series of study sessions, every night, either with Floyd, Jade, or Azul himself. Study session with Floyd rarely involve studying. Sometimes you would start with studying, but he’d always end up getting bored at some point, and then declare you two would be doing something else. Other times, you wouldn’t even get a chance to study, as he’d already be dragging you off somewhere before you can even set your stuff down. Floyd, being Floyd, ‘something else’ could include anything depending on his mood. Some examples of activities you’ve done during study sessions with Floyd: karaoke, ping pong, pottery, a treasure hunt all over the school for something Floyd lost a while ago and had suddenly remembered at that moment (it was in his pocket), ballroom dance classes, shopping, video games, baking. You don’t even bring any study materials with you at this point.

Jade and Azul are more what you’d expect from tutors.

Jade’s method of tutoring is hands off. He mostly just has you do your homework while he sits across from you, working on his own stuff. And if you don’t have homework or finish before study time is up, he’ll give you readings and practice assignments to do. He encourages you to ask him questions whenever you have them, but for the most part, you two are silent. What you don’t realize is that he actually spends most of the time just staring at you. Studying you.

Azul is more hands on. Like with Jade, youre expected to either work on a class assignment, or one of Azul’s specially crafted study guides. Unlike Jade, who always sits across from you, Azul sits—or, more often, stands—next to you. Instead of just silently watching you work, Azul works you through each problem. He’ll often end up hovering next to you, sometimes taking your writing hand in his to guide you through whatever problem you’re working on. He also offers coffee/tea/snack breaks, where you two can just talk, not just about schoolwork, but anything else.

You’re spending every night with one of them. You often get back to Ramshackle late (especially if it was a session with Floyd). You don’t see Horns as much, if at all. Study sessions with your freshman friends become almost nonexistent. Even Grim is starting to see less and less of you everyday.

Who you end up spending the most time with is, of course, the Octotrio. Not just for nightly study sessions anymore. Floyd will approach you outside of tutoring for fun activities. Jade often offers you treats for doing so well, including trips to Sam’s and lunch at Mostró Lounge—all on him, of course. And Azul often pops in to check in on you—to make sure you’re holding up your side of the deal. And, even if you don’t realize it, there’s always at least one of them waiting to walk you to class.

It’s no secret that Azul basically always has business on the brain. And this? This was his strategic move to monopolize you, and he got you hook, line, and sinker.

[ceesimz]

Relationship Test

(this isn't gonna be the most description-heavy fic, it's mostly dialogue but I wanted to write this because I think the dynamic of 'gf asking stupid questions to annoy their partner' is really entertaining)

Realistically, Leah should have known from the moment the following question came out of your mouth that you were about to enter an incredibly annoying phase.

"Leah, if I was any supermarket, out of all the ones in the UK, which one would I be?"

She simply turned her head to look at you, completely thrown off by the question. A few moments passed by of her trying to suss you out, figuring out what on earth she should reply to that, before she paused the show you were both watching and took a deep breath.

"Is this a joke or is that a genuine question babe?" She finally replied.

You shrugged a shoulder, fighting off a grin, and looked expectantly at her.

"A genuine question."

Leah once again just stared at you. Where to even begin? Surely, there was no right answer here.

"What one do you think you would be?" She deflected the question, but you just shook your head.

"Good try, but I asked you."

She groaned and threw her head back.

"My love, I have absolutely no idea! I don't look at you and think, 'ah yeah, you are an Aldi', I don't know what you're trying to get at!" She cried out, eyes wide and hands gesturing wildly.

"An Aldi?" You gasped, dramatically feigning offence, even going so far as bringing a hand to your chest to give the full effect. "Leah, that's fucking low!"

"No, I didn't call you an Aldi, babe, I just used it as an example because it's a weird question to ask!"

"Yeah but that was the first one that came to your head! An Aldi, really? Unbelievable. I thought you would have valued me higher than that. Maybe a Tesco at least, but nooo, my girlfriend thinks I'm an Aldi." You sighed and refused to meet her gaze, turning to the paused TV screen and smiling to yourself as you heard her take a deep breath.

"Darling, you are a woman, not a supermarket. I value you higher than I value you myself, okay? It was just a silly question, let's not think too deeply about it." You shook your head once more and stood up from your place on the sofa, storming out the room. "No, babe, where are you going?"

Before you rounded the corner of the lounge, you sent her a cheeky grin and laughed.

"Just the toilet, Le, don't worry." You stated simply, then walked out.

That left the blonde sat stressing to herself whilst also being utterly perplexed at what had just occurred. When you walked back in a few moments later, she still looked visibly shell-shocked, which you couldn't help but giggle at.

"Earth to my girlfriend?" You teased, slotting yourself onto her lap and knocking on her forehead with a knuckle.

"You are something else, I swear." She sighed, a humoured smile on her face as she placed a kiss on your cheek.

Leah survived all of two days before the next one was fired her way, this time, on the drive home from Arsenal training. The pair of you were exhausted, having had a match the day before then being thrown into early morning training the next day. But that didn't stop you from exercising your newfound love.

"Hey Le?" You start, Leah humming. "If I died, would you fall in love again with another person?"

Leah's eyes almost popped out of their sockets at that one. She was still driving, so she couldn't even take a glance at you as she navigated through the London traffic.

"Sorry?" She choked out, sitting up in her seat.

"Would you move on and find another person after me?"

"Is this... a test?" Leah wondered, and it's so hard not to laugh at the hint of nerves clear in her voice.

"I'm just curious." You shrugged nonchalantly.

"I... well, that's a bit of a loaded question, babe." She breathed out, eyebrows furrowed down as she's overridden with countless thoughts. "I mean, first of all I'd be fucking devastated, my love."

"Not what I asked." You told her, to which she panicked more.

"I..." She stuttered over an answer. "I don't know, it would depend I guess?"

"Are you serious?" You begin to argue, Leah wincing and slouching her shoulders. "What do you mean?"

"I have no clue, babe! Sorry for not giving a valid answer, because I don't want to think about you dying!"

"Chill, Le, I'm just teasing you." She dropped her head back against the head rest and groans.

"You are gonna be the death of me." Leah grumbled, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye.

"But seriously though, would you?"

"I swear to f-"

That last one was indeed a bit loaded, so you gave her a week's respite before the next one came. This time? In the cinema, as the adverts played before your chosen film.

"Love?" You whispered, nudging her arm that held her phone. She put it down on the arm rest and turned to you with a soft smile. "I've had a thought that's been plaguing me a bit recently."

"You wanna talk about it here?" Leah frowned, gently taking your hand as you nod. "Okay, my darling, out with it."

"Do you prefer my face or my body?"

Leah stared at you for a solid ten seconds before her body deflated and she dropped your hand. She chuckled to herself and pinched the bridge of her nose, mumbling something under her breath.

"This is another one of those questions, innit." She sighed, turning to you to get confirmation. However, you offered no emotion or reaction. "Tell me, for this one, if this is a genuine... insecurity I need to tackle properly, or if this is another bullshit question."

"I want to know, Leah." You stated. She still couldn't tell if you were serious.

"I prefer your face, my love." She replied truthfully, because that was genuinely her answer.

"Why?" You challenged, still void of emotion.

"Because... that's what I fell in love with first. Your eyes and all the emotions you hold in them, not to mention how beautiful they are. Your smile that immediately makes me smile no matter what I'm going through. Your little freckles, your nose, your eyelashes that I'm still jealous of to this day. Your face was the first impression I got of you, my first glimpse getting to know you. So if you held me at gunpoint and told me to choose, I would say your face. Your body is absolutely beautiful and incredible of course, but you could have no arms and eleven toes and I'm almost certain I'd still love you." Leah answered.

To be honest, that is definitely not what you were expecting. You didn't think a stupid question found in a Tik Tok video captioned 'Questions To Start An Argument' could lead to such a heartfelt admission.

"Oh." Was all you said. "I was supposed to argue back at you."

"What?" She laughed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pecking your cheek.

"I was supposed to argue and say 'so you don't like this or that about my body' but you kind of took my breath away." You explained with a sheepish smile on your face.

"My love, you know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world, both your face and your body, but if I could only have one forever, it would be your face. Zero hesitation." Leah admitted. You blushed heavily and hid your face in her neck. "Not to say I wouldn't miss your body. You would miss it too, I know you love when I-"

"Nope!" You slapped a hand over her mouth, knowing exactly where this conversation was heading. "Just because we are in the back row of a cinema does not mean you can start saying things like that."

Leah smirked behind your hand and shrugged a shoulder.

"Your loss, baby."

The next one came when you lay awake in bed with Leah one morning a few days later. You were both lay on your stomachs, your hand gliding over Leah's back under her shirt as you gave her the back scratches she demanded with the promise of paying for breakfast in return. Admittedly, you were more of a morning person than Leah was, hence why the following question came to your mind at 8am whilst she could barely think. Was it possibly a bit unfair to ask such a layered question at a time you knew her mind wasn't as sharp as it could be? Absolutely not.

"Leah, could we discuss a hypothetical situation for a moment?" You asked. She opened one eye and looke at you with a face of disgust.

"Too early." She grumbled, closing her eye again and sighing.

"Okay." You left it for a few moments, before asking anyway. "If someone offered you money to go completely non-contact with me for three months, what's the lowest amount of money you'd accept it for?"

"What?" Leah glared at you, resting up on her elbows as she pushed her hair back out of her face. You went to repeat the question, but she shook her head and interrupted you. "I heard you. I mean, what the fuck kind of question is that?"

"Just curious." You shrugged, shifting to lay on your back and look up at her.

"I wouldn't do that." She said, plain and simple.

"It's only three months. What if it was for like, a million? That's three months of doing nothing for a ton of money, babe. That's a life-changing amount of money." You commented with a grin.

"Would you accept that?" She asked, outraged.

"Of course!" You answered immediately. Leah shook her head and threw the duvet off of her, jumping out of bed. "Come ooooon! You'd accept that too, surely?"

"You are a fucking wind-up." She grumbled, stepping into her slippers and leaving the room.

You stayed in bed with an amused smile, settling back down and wrapping yourself up with the duvet, until a voice came from the other room.

"I'd do it for free if you keep up with these stupid questions!"

At that, you jumped out of bed and ran to meet her in the kitchen, an endless amount of colourful expletives leaving your mouth on the way there.

A busy few weeks followed that morning, so your habit took a backseat to focus on an intense set of games. It slipped your mind completely, until one night when some of the Arsenal girls were around at Leah's apartment, waiting to watch one of the men's champions league games. When a multitude of irritated groans echoed around the lounge at the announcement of the game being postponed for a short while, you grinned to yourself from your place on the sofa beside Leah.

"Girls, I know how to keep us entertained in the meantime." You announced.

"We can't do karaoke again, last time I almost got kicked out of the flat." Leah looked at you with a raised eyebrow in warning.

She was referring to an incident that occurred a few months back - a team bonding evening where you, Leah, and the majority of your teammates had a movie night that led to an intense karaoke session. Consequently, a few of the neighbouring apartments reported such event to the building's security team which resulted in a knock at Leah's door and a noise complaint letter being handed to her.

"Not karaoke, babe. Something better." You wiggled your eyebrows at the other girls and stood up from your seat. "Le, come on, help me get two stools from the kitchen."

"What are you planning?" She asked in a hushed tone as you led her to the kitchen.

"You'll see." You shrugged with a smirk, picking up one of the chairs and gesturing for Leah to do the same. Then, you wandered back to the lounge and placed your stool down in front of the TV, Leah doing the same. "Leah, take a seat."

Some of the girls whispered between themselves at the scene carrying out in front of them, getting a great view of what was about to occur.

"Babe, I swear-"

"Sit down, Leah Williamson!" You demanded, grabbing your phone from the couch.

"Oo, government name!" Beth teased, Leah glaring at her and doing as she was told.

You sat there in silence for a brief moment, trying to find the list on your phone that had been neglected for a little while. Once you'd found it, you looked at Leah across from you in her chair and cleared your throat.

"Leah, this is a relationship test." You stated.

Leah's face fell as the girls laughed loudly at her reaction, her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish whilst she tried to find a response.

"Right now?" She replied, you nodding with a smug grin.

"Yep. I have a series of questions for you that you must answer. No cop-outs, no deflections, just the truth."

"This is gonna be good." Jen smirked, knowing what was about to occur. It had been her that sent you the video about it in the first place, little did she know she had planted such an entertaining seed in your mind.

"Ready?" You asked with an excited smile.

"No, I never agreed to this!" Leah cried out, looking helplessly at her teammates who simply laughed again.

"Suck it up, Leah!" Steph shouted, Beth grinning manically from beside her.

"First question!" You announced, the room falling quiet. "What is your biggest fear?"

"That's not a relationship question!" Kyra exclaimed, earning a smack on the knee from Caitlin.

"I don't know, dying?" Leah replied with a shrug.

"Wrong!" You respond.

"How's that wrong, it's my fear?!" She cried.

"The correct answer was: losing me." You revealed, the room bursting into laughter. You couldn't help yourself and joined in too as Leah groaned and covered her face with her hands.

"I know what this is gonna be now." She grumbled, looking back at you and waiting for the next question.

"Next question." You said, silencing the room. "If a genie offered you three wishes, but if you accepted them, there was a ten percent chance you lost me forever, would you take them?"

"Yeah because I would use a wish to get you back." Leah said with a shrug, thinking she had caught you out.

"Wrong. That's not possible." You shook your head shamefully at her.

"And how was I supposed to know that then?" She hit back, but you shrugged back at her.

"Not my problem." You stated as the girls laughed at Leah's eye roll. "Next. Would you rather never play football again or never have sex with me again?"

That one almost knocked Leah off her seat.

"How am I supposed to answer that?" Her cheeks were bright red as she argued, completely at a loss for words right now.

How had a quiet night watching the football, turned into her being the butt of the joke?

"You have to answer it, love." You lowered your phone and fixed her with a pressuring glare, everyone else in the room looking at her expectantly as they held in their laughter.

"Babe, I..." She stuttered, glancing around at her peers with a frantic look in her eyes.

"You're gonna be in the doghouse, Leah." Katie kindly reminded her, followed by a few muffled laughs from some of them.

"Never play football again." Leah answered in a nervous voice.

"Wrong!" You sighed, shaking your head.

"How is that- I can't fucking win." She groaned frustratedly and clenched her fists as everyone else once again laughed uncontrollably. "Please explain how that answer is wrong, my love."

"You shouldn't let your attraction to me override your career, my darling!" You told her with a dramatic pout. She couldn't help but chuckle at your reply, now starting to see the humour in this situation.

"Aren't you guys romantic." Beth rolled her eyes and waved you both off. "Move on, next question."

"Alright." You cleared your voice again, choosing your next blow. "If you learned that I had been hired to date you as part of a social experiment for research, would you be able to forgive me?"

"What the fuck!"

You couldn't help it anymore. You burst out laughing along with your friends and covered your face as you did, hearing Leah rant in the background of all the noise. A few moments passed of pure laughter before you sat back up straight and looked at your girlfriend who, if she was in a cartoon, would have literal steam coming out of her ears.

"Your answer, please." You asked impatiently, tapping your foot on the floor.

"Dating you is a social experiment, this is absurd, I mean-"

"Moving on." You ignored her rebuttal. "Would you rather kiss me for £100,000 or the prettiest woman in the world for a million?"

Leah took a deep breath, removing all previous irritation in her bones, before answering confidently.

"Prettiest woman in the world for a million." She stated, waiting for you to correct her.

"Wrong, how fucking rude. Why would you not kiss me?" You challenged with an angry scowl.

"Because you are the prettiest woman in the world." Leah stated simply with a soft smile, causing you to blush. The room was silent for a moment as you both gazed at each other, before the sound of someone jokingly gagging disrupted it.

"Get a room!" Kyra shouted, throwing one of the sofa pillows at you both. Everyone else followed her lead and started teasing you both, but Leah simply smirked and stood up.

"Get a room, you say? Alright."

She shrugged before grabbing your hand and pulling you towards her bedroom. The sounds of the others wolf-whistling and cheering followed you until it was shut out by Leah slamming the bedroom door closed.

"You done testing me now?" She asked with her eyebrows raised, pressing you back against the door and holding you in place by your hips.

"Guess so." You smiled uncontrollably at her, to which she laughed and let out a breath before hiding her face in your neck.

"You're a little shit, you know that?" She said, muffled by your skin.

"I know it, babe. You love me for it." You grinned. Leah lifted her back up and leaned down to press your lips together in a firm but teasing kiss, pulling back sooner than you wanted.

"Damned if I do, damned if I don't, right?"

[sanemistar]

Hey lovely! Is there any chance you’d do a Sanemi x female!reader (she’s a hashria) one shot?

She’s been dating him for ages but all of a sudden she breaks up with him and gets with some other guy straight away, so sanemi is super hurt/angry about it (he was about to about to propose). Anyway, fast forward to the hashria training arc and she’s there with the new guy (he’s a demon slayer), he can see that reader is super uncomfortable around this guy so he’s super suss about the whole thing. Sanemi ends up overhearing the guy she’s now dating that he was actually threatening reader to hurt everyone she loves (especially Sanemi) if she didn’t dump him and date her. But fight insures and blah blah blah, happy ending with them getting back together!

I hope that makes sense, but you have creative freedom to whatever you think is best! Also if you don’t want to write it I fully respect your decision, but if you do write it thank you so much ❤️

never let you go — sanemi shinazugawa

pairing: sanemi x hashira fem!reader

genre: angst, fluff, lovers to exes then back to lovers

wc: 2.2k+

warnings: usage of threats, slight swearing, not proofread oops

a/n: i hope you enjoy reading <33 this was so fun to write thank you for requesting lovely anon !!

you and sanemi have been dating for ages, everyone knows how madly in love you two are with each other. you two are basically inseparable, wherever you are you’re always seen with him, to the point where other people start whispering 'that's the wind hashira's girl' when they see you. you two are the epitome of love basically. so it’s to be expected that you two will end up married at some point, and that’s been your longtime boyfriend’s plan all along. he has been planning to propose to you for so long and today he’s about to finally take that next big step in your relationship.

on a lovely spring day, sanemi leaves you a message with his crow, asking you to come by his estate later because he wants to tell you something very important, so you prepare yourself and excitedly leave your estate to see him, wondering about what is that important thing that made your boyfriend so eager to see you. your train of thought is forced to cut short, though, when someone grabs your hand which stops you from going any further. you take a moment to inspect the person standing in front of you, he seems to be a demon slayer but one of a lower ranking based on his attire. but something about him feels odd and you feel slightly uncomfortable around him.

"going somewhere, y/n?" his way of addressing and talking informally to you as if you two are very familiar with each other pisses you off, can't he see your haori, does he not know you're a hashira and that he should speak to you respectfully?

"and why i should explain myself to you?" you push him out of your way and keep on walking, you don't want to be late for sanemi's meetup. but he grabs your hand and stops you once again, this time his grip is harder than the last time to ensure that you stay still.

"i can't let you go, y/n. i love you. please go out with me." you're taken aback by the sudden, uncalled for love confession. does this guy not know that you already have a boyfriend? and he's not just any boyfriend, he's the infamous wind hashira.

"don't you think you're too bold to ask me such nonsense? i have a boyfriend, you know?" you inform him, eyes looking sharp. he's clearly pissing you off, you should be in sanemi's arms right now, but instead, some random guy is wasting your time.

"i don't care, i'm not leaving until i make you mine." the guy is still persistently pestering you. no matter how many times you reject him, he still begs and pleas. you've had enough of his constant begging and finally reach your limit, so you quickly grab you katana and point it against his throat.

"if you don't stop what you're doing, you're going to regret what i'm about to do next." you speak sternly. but he doesn't seem to be fazed in the slightest. to your surprise, his entire demeanor changes and he pulls away your katana as it drops on the ground. and before you even get a chance to react, he quickly turns around points his own katana very close to the crook of your neck.

"i think you're the one who's going to regret what i'm about to do if you don't go out with me, someone might get hurt, like your boyfriend for example." he whispers into your ear, with a voice full of threat. you know sanemi is a very strong man, but you simply don't want to put the love of your life in danger because of you, you'll never forgive yourself if anything happens to him. so you choose to give up and surrender yourself to the man's demands, all for the sake of sanemi. you always put his safety and wellbeing before everything else, even before your own desires.

"i'll let you go for now, you know what to do, right?" he warns you. you grit your teeth, trying to suppress the tears eager to fall down your cheeks. it pains you to leave the one man you love the most in the world and the only one for you, after you had promised each other to never be apart until death do you part. you can't believe you're about to break your promise in the worst way possible.

with now a heavy heart, you walk towards your boyfriend's estate and sanemi instantly greets you with a tight embrace. you bury your face deep in his warm, bare chest. you wish you could stay there forever, but the words from earlier ring vividly in your ears, causing you to jolt, startling both you and sanemi.

"you 'kay, y/n?" sanemi asks in both confusion and worry, he's sensing there's something unusual about you today, but he can't seem to know exactly what it is.

"i'm... fine." you try your best to assure him. though he's still convinced you're acting strange, he decides to drop his suspicions for now. he has something much more important to tell you, his long awaited proposal.

"i have something to tell you." you both say in unison, but sanemi insists that you should go first. you take a deep breath, your heart weighs heavy. you feel tongue tied, as if your body refuses to let you say what you're about to say next, but you force yourself to.

"i... i want to break up, sanemi." your words drop on him like a bomb, he's surely never seen this one coming. he's hurt and angry, he knows you love him so much, so why are you suddenly asking for a breakup.

"shit, tell me what is it that i did wrong? i promise i'll fix it, just please don't leave me, y/n." you've never seen sanemi this vulnerable before, you can clearly hear the pain and desperation in his tone. it breaks your heart knowing that you're causing him to be in this state, but you're left with no choice. you have to protect him, even if it costs you to earn his hatred for the rest of your life.

"there's no point. it can't be fixed. thank you for everything and goodbye, sanemi." you kiss him goodbye one last time before you quickly run away as the tears you've been holding for so long finally get released, forcing yourself to never look back. because you know that you'll get weak and throw yourself in his arms once again if you do. he watches as you slowly disappear from his line of sight before he breaks down, he's feeling utterly bitter at you for leaving him behind just like that without telling him why.

fast forward a while later, amane-sama summons all the hashiras and announces that there will be a hashira training to prepare for the final fight against muzan, and everyone must participate, which means that you’ll meet up with sanemi more frequently. if it were any normal occasion, you’d be very happy to spend time with him. but with everything that has happened, you’re not looking forward to it.

after the meeting is done you immediately prepare yourself to leave, unable to stay a minute longer knowing that sanemi is right there but you can't hold him in your arms. obviously the rest of them notice how awkward you behave around each other now, wondering why you broke up with sanemi and left him for some random guy who seems to be much less than what you deserve, especially when you and sanemi were so perfect for each other. but they decide not to pry into the matter further in respect of your private life.

the minute you step into the training grounds, you're met with your 'new boyfriend' waiting for you at the entrance as he wraps his arm around you. the sight of him brings immense pain in your heart, you can't stand seeing his face.

"how was it, baby?" your stomach turns upset upon hearing his voice and you feel sick to your core the moment he lays finger on your skin.

"good." you reply nonchalantly. you always keep your replies to a bare minimum, usually reply with a short sentence, sometimes even with just one word. you'd rather not talk to him at all, but you force yourself to.

sanemi notices that you're feeling very uncomfortable around the guy, it’s very clear to his eyes despite him standing at a distance. which makes him instantly feel something is wrong about the whole thing. like why would you date someone you're not comfortable with? he knows this is unlikely of you, so he starts to investigate further.

even after the breakup, sanemi still has feelings for you. he's never moved on from you, he’s only ever loved you, no matter how many times he tries to. he has no interest in any other girl, you're so exceptional he can't seem to find a girl that's as amazing as yourself, you're the only one in his eyes. so he promises himself to do everything he can to bring you back to him once more.

then one day while he's cooling off after a long training session, sanemi sees a bunch of low-ranking demon slayers gathered around a guy and he immediately recognizes his face, it's the guy that stole you away from him. he tightly clenches his fists until his knuckles turn white, furious is an understatement to describe how he’s feeling right now.

he accidentally overhears them asking him how he got you to break up with one of the strongest hashiras and date him instead, and he tells everyone how he threatened you to hurt your loved ones, especially sanemi himself, if you refuse to break up with sanemi and date him.

everything makes sense now, why you broke your promise to him by suddenly asking to breakup without giving any justifications whatsoever. sanemi is incredibly enraged by his statement, his blood is boiling and his veins are popping up, his vision is blinded by all the pent up anger. his body moves automatically towards where the guy is and delivers a strong punch onto his face, completely destroying that cocky look smeared on it.

"you fuckin' asshole!" sanemi shouts angrily as he continues to ruthlessly punch that jerk multiple times to a point where his knuckles start bleeding, no one is daring to intervene in any way. they just let sanemi beat him to his heart's desire. after quite some time, sanemi finally stops and grabs him by the collar.

"you better fucking never show your face to y/n or bother her ever again, ya hear me? try being near her again and i'll fuckin' kill you." the guy only nods in fear, not even being able to speak. sanemi lets go of him and drops his now passed out body on the floor.

desperately searching for you, sanemi keeps running and running asking everyone around for you. until he finds you as you're about to enter your estate. he rushes to you like crazy and embraces you from behind, startling you.

"why did you handle this all by yourself, y/n? why didn't ya tell me?" sanemi asks you in between his crying, and your whole body flinches upon hearing his cries. you know how sanemi hardly ever cries in front of anyone, especially you. because he doesn't want you to worry about him, so he only shows you his strong side.

"i had no choice, i wanted to protect you. i wouldn't have forgiven myself if you had been put in danger because of me." you join him in sobbing as you turn around and bury yourself in his chest once again. you cry your heart out in his arms as he pats your head softly until you slowly begin to calm down. he cups your delicate face in his hands as his calloused thumbs wipe away your tears gently.

"i love you, y/n." he speaks softly, as if he's whispering. you feel butterflies all over your stomach the moment you hear your name slipping out of his lips, you've missed his voice so much.

"i love you too, nemi." you reply back, looking at him ever so endearingly. you lean closer and capture his lips in a loving, passionate kiss. you feel his hands move from your face and rest onto the sides of your waist, pulling you closer to him and you smile into the kiss.

after some time, the two of you break the kiss. yet your eyes are locked on his big, lilac ones.

"i'll never let you go, not now, not ever." sanemi kneels down on one knee, grabbing out a small box with a beautiful ring in it. you feel tears slowly forming into your eyes yet again, this time they're happy tears.

"will you marry me, y/n?" he finally proposes to you, sure the proposal isn't the most grand or extravagant. but you don't mind it in the slightest, this is more than enough to you, the fact that you're finally back together with the man you adore the most is what's important to you.

"yes, of course. my nemi." no hint of hesitation is to be found in your tone, it's the easiest and quickest yes you've ever said. you can't believe you're about to spend the rest of your life with your one and only love. you have no idea what life has in store for the two of you, but one thing for sure is that no matter what happens, you'll always be by sanemi’s side and never leave.

[hitomisuzuya]

JUST READ YOUR POST! I SHALL SUBMIT MY TIGHNARI REQ NOW ❤️❤️ just imagining Tighnari in heat.... trying so hard to contain himself for the whole day then at night he was on patrol with fem!reader and he couldnt hold back anymore so he told the reader he was in heat. AND THE READER BEING A BITCH WOULD TAUNT HIM BY SAYING HE HAS TO CATCH THE READER SO BE ABLE TO BREED EM 🫶🏻🫶🏻 just a whole game of cat n mouse in the forest at night. Obvi tighnari catches her and fucks her into oblivion 😳😳😳

a/n: omg I read something similar to your ask recently. I always wanted to write something like this. Tighnari in heat 😳😳😳 I hope you enjoy it.❤️ I have been waiting for the chance to write for Tighnari again. I didn't think anyone would request anything for him due to certain circumstances.

Tighnari x fem!reader. Tighnari in a heat cycle. Predatory! Tighnari. Cat and mouse game incoming.

Tighnari's heat cycles were particularly hard for him, especially since he'd met you. Before he met you, he always dealt with his heat cycles quietly and private, not wanting it get in the way of his duties as a Forest Ranger.

It took one week into his cycle for him to break. You were on patrol with him in the forest, chatting idly about the weather, or certain birds you see. Your demeanor may have been relaxed, but Tighnari's wasn't.

You smelt so good. Staggering a little, he leaned up against a tree. He was panting quietly, a hand over his mouth. His lips felt dry, and his cheeks were flushed.

"Tighnari? What's the matter? Are you sick?" You asked, your gaze boring into his hazel eyes. You were so concerned, and your eyes looked so beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to gaze down at you as you writhed beneath him, telling you how much he wanted breed you.

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm not sick. I'm in heat," his ears drooped a little, "to be frank, I don't know if I can restrain myself any longer. It would be best if you went back to Gandharva Ville without me. I'll finish this patrol on my own." This was his first cycle with you, he didn't want it overwhelm you.

Like hell you were going back. In fact, you upped the ante. Go big or go home as they say. Reaching up, you gently tugged on his ears. "Chase me, Tighnari," you said. His ears pricked up. "I'm more happy to cool you down," you smirked, "that is, if you can catch me first."

Tighnari sighed. Why did you have to be so difficult, especially at a time like this? "Run," was all he had to say before you took off. "Just wait until I get my hands on you."

Honestly, for a second you wondered if you were in over your head. Tighnari knew this forest like the back of his hand. This was his territory. And so were you. There more than likely wasn't one place you could hide from him in that he wouldn't find.

You looked over your shoulder before cutting a hard left. Tighnari had thankfully given you a head start. You stopped to hide behind two large mushrooms, catching your breath as quietly as you could, pressing a hand over your mouth.

You waited, your body coiled like a spring as you listened for leaves to start crunching as Tighnari got closer.

Tighnari lifted his head, sniffing the air as he ran. "Come out, come out wherever you are," he called out. At first he'd been annoyed, but now he was enjoying it. He felt exhilarated, his heart pounding with excitement and lust. Your spontaneous game of cat and mouse had excited him than he thought it would.

"I smell something good behind these mushrooms." You darted out, bolting into the forest again. Tighnari was hot on your heels now that he had sussed out your hiding place. It was foolish of you to let your guard down.

You looked over your shoulder again. You'd put a little bit of distance between you. You were so distracted with how turned on you felt being chased down like this by Tighnari that you didn't notice a root of a tree sticking out of the ground slightly.

Tighnari caught you as you tripped. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he braced you against him as you both tumbled to the ground.

"I've caught you, my love," he said, pinning your wrists above your head as he crawled on top of you. "You didn't make it easy for me though."

"I'm impressed, 'Nari, I thought I was faster than you this time," You blushed a little, your pride actually hurt a little bit. You couldn't believe you'd tripped like that.

Tighnari chuckled, "Well, you did trip. But that doesn't matter," his hands were already roaming over your body. He nuzzled your neck, his tail flicking with excitement. "I was going to catch you anyways whether you tripped or not."

Tighnari had always put his research and his duties as a Forest Ranger first and foremost in front of anything like finding a mate. He'd never fixated on anyone like this before.

Now he finally had you right where he wanted you. Tighnari didn't tear your clothes to shreds as he stripped you and himself. He wanted to, but you would need something to walk back home in. A feeling of possession suddenly gripped him. Tighnari bit down on your collarbone, inhaling your scent. You moaned as he sucked a bruise onto your skin. "Mmm~, I think you taste even better than you smell," he mumbled, nursing his tongue against the fold of skin.

One love bite turned into two and three. Tighnari was marking you, marking his territory, taking care to leave them in visible places on your neck. He didn't want any of the new recruits ogling you to begin with, but if they had to (and he couldn't blame them) they would see his marks and know you belonged to someone.

Belonged to him.

You were squirming beneath him, spreading your legs so he could grind his erection between them. Tighnari could feel the heat of your need. He was thrilled that you want this just as much as he did.

Tighnari prepared you as best he could before thrusting his cock inside of you. He kissed you gently when you winced softly in pain. He didn't even start thrusting right away. He breathed in a sigh of relief, soaking in the way his cock felt inside of you.

You wiggled your hips a little as you tugged on his ears, making him whine. "Fuck me, 'Nari."

That was all he needed to hear. Tighnari's thrusts were slow at first, his ears flicking a few times upon hearing your moans, especially when you moaned his name. The way you sounded was like heaven in his ears. It made him feel more feverish, bordering on feral.

His pace quickened, his cock squelching as he drove himself home. His mouth watered when he saw your breasta beginning to bounce in time with his thrusts. He nuzzled your neck again before taking one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking as he swirled his tongue it. "I'm going to breed you full of my pups, I promise."

My goodness weren't you the lucky one? The fennec fox mates for life.

The feeling of his cum spilling inside of you ushered in your orgasm. You arched your back, his name tearing from your throat in a scream. He kissed you lovingly as you both rode your high.

Over the next month, it became common for you to isolate yourself in his hut with him. You soon discovered, much to your delight that he was absolutely insatiable.

pps. This turned out longer than I thought it would. I hope it's not too long. I may have gotten carried away a little. Both Tighnari and Scara always seem to make me do that lol😭

[so-i-did-this-thing]

im sorry if this is a bit personal but what were your first steps of realising you were trans? i have a friend whos starting to wonder snd i just was asking for them :)

Hey there, Anon! I'm afraid I'm not going to be very helpful here. I often joke about coming out the womb a middle-aged man, and it's kind of true.

I'm one of those people who always knew. (This is not always the case for trans folks!) I had a very strong male gender identity as a kid and learned that transition was possible in elementary school. This was both a boon and a curse and I pretty much cried myself to sleep nearly every night because I never thought transition would be an option for me.

My main struggle was not wanting to be an inconvenience to my family, so I held off on transition until it nearly killed me. I really wish I had read this article in my teens, or early 20s at the latest. Your friend might find it helpful.

What did end up coming later was sussing out that I'm bisexual. I didn't really figure this out until after transition, when my dysphoria lessened to a point where I could tell the difference between wanting to *be* a certain guy and wanting to [redacted] him. Your friend might approach this from the other angle - are there people they consider "gender envies", for example? Picking that apart can be enlightening.

I will say that once I became more serious about transition, I consumed just about every transition diary/vlog out there (there weren't many from 1995-2010) to learn more about the physical aspects of transition. I didn't identify with every trans man, but it was useful for me to learn about the nuts and bolts of surgery and hormones.

It's also important to say that you can just... try things out to see what sparks joy and/or lessens dysphoria. It could be a haircut or new clothes. Perhaps cosplay (which really helped drill home to me that people can find me desirable as a man). Maybe using a different name and pronouns among friends, or in an anonymous place like an MMO. And you can also just try hormones -- just do your due diligence on temporary vs permanent effects, and around what doses/time frames they occur at.

Anyway. I'll keep this open for anyone to reply with their own stories and resources, especially those who figured things out after childhood. Good luck to your friend! <3

[megamindsecretlair]

I just want to start off by saying that you’re keeping all of us Tyrone girlies well fed!! You’re hands down one of my favorite writers on Tumblr ❣️

Not sure if you’re taking requests , but I would kill to see Tyrone be the jealous/pining one. He just always seems so cool and collected. Maybe it’s like a friends to lovers thing (or maybe they’re FWB and he hasn’t made it official) and someone asks the reader out before he does. Might be slightly toxic, but I feel like it’s on brand for him

Break Me

Pairing: Tyrone x Mean!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Toxic FILTH. PWP, cursing, PIV, oral (fem receiving), dirty talk, praise kink, Toxic Tyrone, all consensual. Multiple uses of n-word. Referring to female anatomy as "she".

Summary: See ask. While you get ready for your date, Tyrone invites himself over to make you address where you stand with each other.

Word Count: 5,102k

A/N: I have no excuses for myself. None. Head empty. I'm SO sorry this took forever to get out, I feel so bad. I hope this was worth the wait! Thank you for calling me one of your fave writers! ILY! Please, please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers! And please put ages in bios! Or get blockt! Not everyone got tagged, simply because the list is so long and some of them have been inactive, no hard feelings!

Taglist: @planetblaque @notapradagurl7 @honeyoriginalz @soft-persephone @henneseyhoe @dayjlovesromance @browngirldominion @melaninpov @sevikasblackgf @tranquilfandomer @empressdede @mybonafidefeelings @westside-rot @blackerthings @slippinninque @nicolexnight @honeytoffee @l-auteuse @jarfulloftears @thadelightfulone @kindofaintrovert @softscorpio17 @lovedlover @montysstuffs @blowmymbackout @miyuhpapayuh @soapjay @theyscreamsannii @eggnox @sunkissedebony97

You sang along to Megan the Stallion’s song, “Girls in the Hood”, at full blast while you readied yourself for a date. Your shoulders bumped to the familiar beat, sliding on lip gloss. You felt good. Lighter than air. Dare you say…excited for the date? 

You snickered and shook your head. No, you were not excited for no funky ass date. It was just nice to get dressed for once and leave your apartment for a Saturday night. You had been working hard the past few weeks, trying to get a little recognition at work. 

You were approaching that time. The time where they either started showing some love or you were going to use their computers to find a new one. You hated starting over at a new place. You hated trying to suss out if the new people were going to be cool or full of microaggressions. 

You sighed as you looked over your makeup in the mirror. You liked the soft complementary tones to your skin tone. Tonight was about you and that was all there was to it. Your phone buzzed on your nightstand.

You looked down, swiping to open it, and read the text from Tyrone.

Tyrone With That Monster: Need this dick?

Heat pulsed through you from the text alone. You stared at the screen as you willed your body to recover from the brief flashback to the last time Tyrone texted you. The way he had your legs in the air and was knocking your headboard into your wall so hard, there were still grooves there.

Nope, nope, nope. You were not going back there. It had been about a month since you last spoke to him. Both of you were too involved in your worlds to manage more than a scheduled back breaking. You did not need that toxic ass nigga in your life. No matter how good the dick was. 

You texted back: naw, busy tonight.

Tyrone With That Monster: busy doin what? Watchin them corny ass shows?

You giggled and shook your head. You enjoyed cooking shows, there was nothing wrong with that. You knew it was fake as hell, but the food looked so good after. And dammit, you cared about some of the contestants whose lifelong dream it was to cook for their favorite chefs.

You: naw, a date 

Tyrone With That Monster: what you mean a date?

You: I said what I said

You flipped your phone over. You did not have time to go back and forth with Tyrone. He wasn’t usually a fast texter and you still needed to slip on your dress. Your playlist flipped to “Body” by Megan the Stallion and you shimmied your way to your closet. You pulled out dress after dress, wondering which one screamed that you were classy but liked to be fucked into oblivion. 

Your phone buzzed and buzzed but you ignored it. It was a text tone and you sincerely hoped that Vaughn was not the type of nigga to text that he was here. His ass better come to the door like a gentleman. He was too early anyway.

Going through your options, you decided to go with a burnished orange mini dress. You’d have to spend the night making sure you weren’t flashing your ass for the wrong crowd but it was short enough for Vaughn to get the message. You opened your closet door to reveal the mirror hanging from it.

You slipped the dress on, carefully yanking it down to fit over your wide hips and ass. You turned in the mirror to look at how the dress hung. Damn, you could see the bottom of your ass. There was no way to keep it down. Shit. Not appropriate for dinner. It was appropriate for the club, so you grabbed your phone from the vanity, ready to text your friend about a potential club date.

You had several missed messages from Tyrone asking where you were going, who you were going with, what you were wearing, why you stopped answering, etc. You giggled running through the messages. You didn’t know what was going on with him, acting like ya’ll went together real bad. 

You were in the middle of typing a reply when you heard a thumping noise. You turned down Megan, a cardinal sin you know, and listened. Someone was banging on your door like they were the police. You tossed your phone onto your bed and headed towards the front door.

If it was your date, it was off. You had no time for a disrespectful ass mu’fucka. You looked through your peephole and gasped. Tyrone stood with his back towards you, scanning your neighborhood. 

You opened the wooden door, staring at him through the metal door. “Tyrone?” You asked.

“Open up,” he said.

You crossed your arms. “Why are you here bangin’ on my door like that? You know my neighbor–”

“Is deaf as hell. Open this damn door,” he said and sucked his teeth. 

Your pussy fluttered and you squeezed your thighs to make the ol’ girl calm down. So it had been a month since you seen him. So you still woke up in the morning sometimes from dreams where he folded you in half. Tyrone was a fuck boy, through and through, and you had no time for that. 

“Who the hell do you think you talkin’ to like that? Take that bass out ya voice,” you said. 

“Open this damn door,” Tyrone said, lowering his voice and injecting more bass. Asshole. That only turned you on more.

 You sighed and twisted the lock, opening the door for him. You didn’t want to cause a scene. The sweet old lady you lived next door to was kind and treated you like a granddaughter. She wouldn’t understand why you’d put up with someone like Tyrone.

You didn’t really understand it either. You just knew that you hated a weak ass man. There was nothing wrong with men who listened to their ladies and were sweet in everything that they did. But it turned you off when you told someone to shut up and they just went, “yes, ma’am”. 

Where was the fight? Where was the passion? Words never swayed you. You were always about the action. 

Tyrone swept into your apartment, closing and locking the door behind him. He closed the wooden door and then finally faced you. Letting him in was a mistake you genuinely regretted at that moment.

He looked so cozy standing there in a hooded jacket, jacket over it, thick black jeans, and some Jordans. You wanted to bundle up with him. In your room. Under the covers. 

“The hell you going dressed like that?” He asked.

“Hello to you too, nigga,” you rolled your eyes and traipsed back to your room. Tyrone’s thunderous steps followed. 

“Shoes off!” You snapped. 

Tyrone sighed dramatically, never understanding the thing about taking off his shoes. You didn’t know which ho’s house he was coming from or which backwoods ass alley he was selling out of, but you did not want it tracked all over your soft brown carpet. 

Tyrone followed you to your room where you slipped the dress back over your head. You were braless and Tyrone openly stared at your tits but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before. He was barely a friend and he would be nothing more so there was no harm. 

Even though you felt his gaze like a physical thing. As if he were already pulling you close and running his hands across your breasts, squishing, kneading…okay, stop it. 

You looked through your other dresses, trying to find something before your date showed up. You roughly had an hour, so you hoped you could find something quickly. If finding your dress was hard, finding a matching pair of heels was harder.

“So you just gon’ flash them shits and ignore me?” 

“What do you want, Tyrone? I said I was busy,” you told him. Your back was to him. You didn’t want to look at him too long or give him any hint that he could approach you. You weren’t sure you had the willpower to resist him.

Did you love him? No. You barely tolerated him. You weren’t even sure how you fell into “fuck buddy” territory. It had been a wild couple of months, where you had more fun having sex than you could remember.

But, the more you hopped in with him, the less you wanted to hop in with anyone else. And that simply wouldn’t do. 

You were growing uncomfortably wet. Your brain and heart didn’t want him, but your pussy did. Every swish of your thighs and dip of your hip reminded you of how wet you grew around him. If he were to enter you right now, he wouldn’t need to work himself in. You were your very own slip n’ slide.

You bit your lip to keep from laughing, you didn’t want to have to explain yourself. 

“You said you didn’t do dates,” he said. 

“I don’t.” You couldn’t concentrate on finding a dress while he stood there, across the way from you. It felt like he was crowding your space. Or maybe that was just his presence. 

“What the fuck? Why you actin’ like this?” He asked.

“I’m not acting like anything. You the one that showed up unannounced,” you said. You risked a glance at him. He had his hands in his hoodie pocket, head tilted a bit to the side, and eyes furrowed.

Fuck, he was gorgeous. With his big, sexy ass lips. Wide nose. Fierce eyebrows. Your pussy would never let you forget what his tongue could do. Could you clean yourself up real quick? You didn’t want to go out on a date with soaked panties. 

You pulled the next dress you could find out of the closet and held it up to yourself. It was a black, sleeveless midi dress that would more than cover your ass but still short enough to not hinder you from getting some tonight.

You had been depriving yourself of dick, mostly because you were bored with the current rotation. They weren’t doing anything new, weren't trying to do anything new, and you didn’t have time to break it down for them. 

You were ready to hop on and get yours. So you quietly ghosted the current roster and set to work building up some potentials. Vaughn was the only one with some sense so far. He used proper grammar, he had hobbies outside of playing ball on the weekends or surfing the internet trolling, and he was on his grown man grind. 

“If you wanted a date, why didn’t you ask me?” Tyrone asked.

You laughed. The sound erupted from you, loudly and rudely, and you held your hand to your mouth to rein it back in. 

“You? Taking me on a date? Be fuckin’ forreal.” You couldn’t hide the laughter in your tone. 

“You actin’ like a nigga can’t take you somewhere nice. After we fuck, you kickin’ me out the bed.” 

Laughter still shook your shoulders as you glanced at him. But he wasn’t laughing. His lips were pressed together and you had to really look at him. Was he serious? 

“I thought that was what we agreed to?” Did you miss something? 

“Yeah, I thought we agreed to fuck with each other.”

“And do?” 

“So why you switching shit up, going on dates? When we got started, I asked you out a few times.” 

You bit the corner of your mouth. You hated messy shit like this. “Not that I have to explain myself, but I felt like a date today. Felt like doing something new. Fuck buddies starting to get played if I can’t hang out after,” you said. You shrugged your shoulders. 

You weren’t in the market for a relationship. Didn’t have the time. But you supposed that you wanted a friend with benefits. Hang out to do dumb shit like go to the movies, go see a gallery opening, go out to dinner and then come home to get off. You weren’t down for the cuddling shit but maybe? You didn’t know what you were after, but this wasn’t it anymore.

You couldn’t picture Tyrone doing any of those things. He was too busy, too rough around the edges, to fit the ideal friend you were looking for. 

“Then why can’t we hang after?” Tyrone asked. 

You fought a smile. “And do what, Tyrone? Watch my corny ass shows that you complain about? Talk about work? Go out to the same five fast food restaurants and eat in the car, parked somewhere?” 

“Damn, you think that about me?” His voice got soft. Shit. No, no. This was going all wrong. Tyrone was good for being a stone wall. You could say whatever and do whatever. He didn’t care. You liked that he didn’t care. 

“I’m saying that this isn’t an exclusive thing. We both knew that. How many women you don’ fucked on your way over to me? How many girls you got waiting for a call back from you?” 

“Ion know, I ain’t messed with none of them bitches for a good while. You’d know that if you texted me for something other than dick,” he said. 

“Need I remind you who texted who tonight?” 

“You’re so fuckin’ irritating!” Tyrone exploded. 

“I don’t know what you want!” You screamed back.

“You! Dumb ass!” 

Your mouth was already open, ready to rip apart anything he said in response. But when his words sunk in, when the pounding of your heart in your ears lessened, it dawned on you that he said he wanted you. 

“Oh,” you said. You stood there awkwardly. You had the dress in your hands, hanging limply from the hangar. You lifted it, covering yourself, not sure what to say to that. 

“You don’t even think about me, do you?” 

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” you said. You faced away from him. 

“Then tell me what’s going on in your head, ‘cause I never do. I don’t fuckin’ get you half the time. But I know I want you,” he said.

“You just want what’s between my legs. This my fuckin’ pussy,” you snapped. Anger bubbled in your gut. Who the fuck did he think he was, pulling this shit? Forcing you to confront these…these…fuck ass feelings? You were about your money. You were about your grind. This was precisely why you didn’t want relationships and cut niggas off before it got this far. 

This was ultimately your fault, for letting him linger for so long. But how could you deny your insane chemistry with him? You never got the grooves fixed in your wall because you liked remembering how he handled your body. You liked remembering that he worshiped every inch of you and never made a snide comment about your looks or weight.

You pretty for a big girl…it’s nice to be out with someone who eat like me, not like a damn bird…

“Don’t put words in my mouth. Ain’t that what you said?” Tyrone fired back. 

You sighed and pushed past him, heading for the bathroom. “I need to get ready for my date,” you mumbled. 

Tyrone blocked your exit from your bedroom, using his size to crowd in even more. “How could you still think about that nigga when I’m right in front of you? Telling you I want you? We can stop the sex right now, if you’ll give me a chance,” he said, his tone soft. His eyes were pleading with you, silently begging you to make that leap. 

“There’s only sex between us, Tyrone. Move,” you said. You looked away from him, digging your hands into your flesh, clutching the dress to yourself. 

“Fine. Tell me your pussy ain’t wet and I’ll leave,” he said. 

“That’s not fair, Tyrone,” you said.

“I don’t care. Tell me it isn’t. Tell me them little ass panties ain’t fuckin’ soaked.” 

“Sex was never our problem,” you told him. 

“You ain’t trynna be with me and I know you ain’t trynna be with whatever fuck nigga you got comin’ to swoop you up. You don’t even know if his dick as good as mine. Let me send you out proper then,” he said. 

He closed the minimal distance between you, pressing his lips to your temple. “Show me you truly don’t fuck with me no more and I’ll leave,” he said.

“You just confessed that you want me. How fair is it to let you hit after that? Or let you hit and then go out with someone else?” He could not fuck you into being with him. There was no way that he was going to fuck some feelings into you. 

Stupidly, a small part of you still didn’t want to give him up. You wanted him to take back what he said. To unring that bell. You wanted him to take those words from your brain so that he could stay on the roster. Stay unbothered. You didn’t want to change your arrangement. 

“I’m just some fuck boy right? I got other women waiting on this dick, so what does it matter?” 

“Because you already ruined it!” 

Tyrone only smirked. He tugged on the dress. You held on but you didn’t want to tear the dress either. You let it go and he tossed the dress onto your ottoman. He spread your arms out and he looked down at your titties. It was just cold. That was the only reason your nipples were beaded up like that.

“I can’t ruin what never was. I’m a grown ass man. I can handle rejection,” he said. His thumbs rubbed against your nipples and you fought off a shiver.

“Tyrone…” You knew this was a bad idea. “We shouldn’t.” 

Dammit, you were dick whipped. And you knew that you had to hold out. Had to remain strong. You couldn’t fuck someone who had feelings for you. You were an asshole but you had to be an asshole with some rules. There was a line somewhere. 

Tyrone took off his jacket and then took off his hoodie, revealing a white t-shirt. His lips returned to your forehead, then your cheek, bypassing your mouth and headed towards your neck. You melted into his kisses, leaning your head back for more. Wait, no.

You pushed him away and put your hands up. “We can’t.” 

“We shouldn’t. We can’t. Tell me no. Tell me no since you ain’t want me,” he said.

“I told you that sex was never our problem,” you said. You’d definitely have to change your panties now. You couldn’t go on a date like this. All hot and bothered. “I hate you.”

Tyrone smirked, removing his shirt. Your mouth dropped open. It had been far too long since you seen him naked. Since you seen that one eyed-monster he got hiding in his pants. 

His hands deftly unbuttoned his jeans, the zipper moving slowly down. You followed the action. You were throbbing right now, needing a really good dick down. Wasn’t that what the whole Vaughn thing was for anyway? You had been texting him for a few weeks and you appreciated that he wasn’t begging for pussy. But Tyrone was right. You didn’t know if Vaughn was good in bed yet.

“What was it that you said? It’s your pussy right? Don’t you want to take care of her before your date? Just so you’re in it thinking with your head,” he said. 

Tyrone waited. He waited for you to tell him no. To tell him to get dressed, walk out, and leave you free for your date. You just stared at his hands on his jeans, ready to pull them down. 

“I hate you,” you sighed. You weren’t strong. You were not every woman. It was not all in you. He was right. He was a grown man and he could handle rejection. One last roll around the sheets wouldn’t kill him. Maybe he needed that final nut to get you out of his system.

Tyrone’s smug smile split his face as he dropped the jeans. His dick was already pressing against his black boxer briefs. He rubbed himself over the top. “Get that pretty ass on the bed,” he said.

He had you, so he was back to familiar territory. You followed his directions, walking backwards until your legs hit the bed. You sat down. He approached, still rubbing that wonderful, beautiful dick of his. 

You licked your lips. You reached out to grab the band of the boxers, but he slapped your hand away. You gave him a funny look but he only knelt down slowly. He hauled your legs to his shoulders and scooted in, until you were angled perfectly. 

He took a deep breath. “Missed this fuckin’ pussy,” he said. He moved your panties to the side and started eating you out. No teasing, no games, just big lips attached to your pussy and eating like it was his God given right.

“Oue, shit,” you moaned. You tried to scoot back a bit. You weren’t used to such intensity from him. 

Tyrone pulled you forward, pressing his shoulders under your thighs and forcing your legs wider. Music still played in the background, a sensual R&B tune called “Flames” that only highlighted this naughty moment. 

His tongue flicked against your clit. He attacked it with precision, flicking it back and forth since he knew it was the quickest way to get you off. As he did that, his left hand held your pussy lips open. His right hand trailed down in your slickness and pushing inside you. 

“Ohhhhh,” you moaned to the ceiling. He fucked you with his thick digits, going in and out at a fast pace. Your thighs shook on his shoulders. 

“Mhm, this yo pussy right?” He whispered against your clit. 

“Yess,” you moaned. And it was. You were the proud owner of something that drove men insane. Thinkin’ they owned you or some shit. You were the mu’fucka that had to deal with it day in and day out. So why should it belong to a mu’fucka who couldn’t find your clit even if you drew them a map? 

Tyrone suckled on your clit, driving his fingers deeper inside of you. Tyrone didn’t need a map. He knew exactly what to do. He flipped his hand over, curling his fingers in a come hither motion. You clutched his braids as you came on his face. Shaking. Quaking. Was there an earthquake or were you just shaking that damn badly from this momentous orgasm? 

“Fuuhh,” you cried out. It had been entirely too long. Damn, my bad sis, you mentally thought about your vagina. You would never deprive her for so long again. 

You twitched as Tyrone continued to lap up your orgasm, groaning at your taste. He was mumbling something but you couldn’t hear. He leaned back, lifting his soaked fingers to his mouth and suckled up your juices. 

He stood up and peeled off your panties. “Knew you were wet as fuck,” he said, self satisfaction written all over his face.

“Whatever, nigga,” you groaned. He chuckled and picked you up. He tossed you further on the bed. You were ready to admonish him for it, but he finally freed that big ass monster. His dick bobbed when he was finally free. 

He stood there a moment, letting you look your fill. “Hurry up and come fuck me,” you said. You didn’t have time to play. You weren’t sure what the time was. Oh yeah, you tossed your phone onto the bed.

Tyrone chuckled. He grabbed your waist and flipped you over. The bed dipped as he climbed on.. Where did he get the fuckin’ audacity to toss you around like this? Was this the same Tyrone? Did he have a twin or clone somewhere who was a little sex freak? 

He slapped your ass. “Goddamn,” he said. “That fuckin’ recoil is dangerous.”

“Who do-”

He entered you and you gasped from his size. Did he get bigger? Was that possible? This couldn’t be the same dick you were hopping on a few weeks ago. “Oh fuck,” you gasped.

Your hands clutched the red sheets, trying to pull yourself away from him. You weren’t prepared for this! 

Tyrone slammed your hips back down on his girth and you cried out. A mix of pain and pleasure had your hand frantically reaching back. Tyrone grabbed it and pushed it into the bed next to your head. His large hand covering yours was sexy all by itself. Your pussy fluttered and Tyrone groaned.

“This yo pussy right?” He asked.

“Yeesssuh,” you moaned. 

You started throwing it back on him, slapping your ass against his thighs. The wet smacking got louder than the music playing in the background. “Fuck me,” he moaned and went harder. 

A dance of dominance began. Your hips rolled as you tried to gain some type of control. You liked getting fucked as much as the next person, but he was an entirely different animal tonight. A dangerous one. He was pulling out all kinds of moves you didn’t know he had. And you were unprepared for it. Blindsided that this mu’fucka still had some tricks up his sleeve. 

But every inch you tried to gain, he’d switch it up. He took his hand off of yours and replaced it on your hip. He lifted up his right leg to steady himself. Then he really went to town. Each meeting of your skin on his was like a shotgun blast. Lethal. Loud. His thrusts were hard. His strokes deep. 

He moved his hand again, snaking it under your bodies until he found your clit. “Oh, shit, wait,” you mumbled. 

“Uh-uh, this yo pussy. Treat her right,” he grunted. His harsh breaths fanned over your overheated skin. 

His fingers were too much. You reared up as another orgasm tore through you. Like a mini tornado. You shook, your eyes crossed, and pleasure whipped you into a chaotic frenzy. As you were still cumming, Tyrone pulled out long enough to flip you onto your back.

Your hands flew to his chest, but he ignored you. The nigga had a demon inside of him. He licked his lips as he rammed back inside of you. Your back bowed off of the bed. 

“What the fu–” 

“Ima need one more, pretty girl,” he said. He pressed his chest into yours. His sweat mixed with yours. You slid easily against him, both panting and grunting and rutting like two mu’fuckas in heat. 

“I can’t–”

“Sure you can. It’s your pussy, you can do what you want,” he murmured into your neck. He lifted his head and kissed you. 

You were stunned, gasping, and he took advantage licking the lip gloss from your lips. His tongue played with yours. 

On the heels of your last orgasm, he pulled another one from you. Like a little thief. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head. Surely, you saw stars. The universe. You knew every answer known to man in that moment. You touched another reality as your body flooded his dick. 

He slipped out and he frantically shoved back in. “That’s right. You treat that pussy well,” he said. He continued to kiss you and fuck you through it. You couldn’t comprehend anything beyond his dick ramming inside of you as if he were truly trying to steal your guts. 

Distantly, you heard your ringtone. “Ignore it,” you said against his lips. 

“Answer it,” he said. 

“What?” 

“Answer. That. Shit.” Every word was a deeper stroke. How was he not as deep as possible already?!

You turned your head, your hand frantically reaching through your red sheets for your phone. Vaughn’s name flashed on the screen. Fuuuuuck. 

Pressure built in your lower belly. You clenched around Tyrone’s thick dick. “On speaker,” Tyrone said with a smirk. 

Your hand shakily swiped to answer and then you put him on speaker. You laid the phone on your chest. Tyrone seemed to like that because he grinned and then turned his attention to your abandoned nipples.

He suckled one into his mouth. “H-Hello?” You answered, trying to sound like you weren’t getting your guts rearranged. 

“Hey, just wanted to let you know that I was five minutes out.” Vaughn had a deep voice too. Not quite as deep as Tyrone’s. But it still lovingly caressed your ears.

“I’m so sorry. I uh-” You bit your lip to keep from moaning. He was so damn big. His thrusts turned shallow, giving you a little room to breathe. His tongue laved around your nipple, sending sharp tugs to your pussy. 

“I should’ve texted,” you said. Your voice sounded strained to your own ears. If Vaughn wasn’t dumb, he’d know that you were doing something nasty. With someone that wasn’t him. 

“Everything okay? You sound out of breath?” Vaughn asked.

“I feel so sick.” You bit your lip again as Tyrone nibbled. He threw you a wink and then slammed into you once. You heaved and hoped it didn’t sound like a moan. 

“Do you want me to bring something over? I just passed a store,” Vaughn said. 

Take the fuckin’ hint, damn! “That’s–sweet. No, I’ll call, okay?” You asked.

“Alright. I’ll check on you. I hope you feel better.” He was so sweet. Dumbass. 

“Okay, byee!” You hung up the phone just as Tyrone increased his strokes. His balls slapped against your wet pussy, your sheets drenched from your orgasms.

“This yo pussy?” Tyrone asked as he threw his head back and finally came, flooding you with his cum.

“Shiiii–” You came with him, both of you mutually lost to it. To the heat and pleasure chasing around and around inside your body. 

Tyrone grabbed your wrists as his dick pulsed inside of you. You felt the spurts leaking out of him. He pressed your wrists close to your head. He grunted as he felt you clenching and unclenching around him, greedily sucking it all in. 

“Sorry about your date,” Tyrone panted and grinned.

“I hate you so goddamn much,” you said and chuckled. 

“Let’s throw on one of them corny ass shows and I’ll eat you out again.” He kissed along your jaw, wiggling his hips a bit so you knew he was still thoroughly lodged there, burying his cum deep inside you. 

Well, who were you to complain? You ain’t want to go out that badly anyway.

Whew! You feelin' alright? There's more! The Secret Tyrone Files

[valentine-cafe]

hi hi hi, could i request herrera husbands (verse 209) dealing with a secret admirer?

(gn reader)

at first, it starts really innocently. short letters left on their desks, decorated with small hearts and wishes of their days going as pleasantly as they can. after awhile, along the written notes, small gifts appear. at first it was mostly some candy, then small packs of cigarettes, and recently some red lipstick for rishen (with a hopeful note, that he will like it), human teeth for jingyi (with a note, that the one particular employee he recently got irritated at won't bother him anymore!!). . .

it's all fun and games, but no one is perfect. even phantom thief had to get caught someday, and this apparently has to happen to their not so innocent admirer. . .

˖⁺. ﹙ the mad doctor & scientist husbands  x gn!reader. ﹚ .𖹭 ݁

. . . caught a hint, dearest !! 🍒 :  yandere ˖ mad doctor ˖ snake monster ˖ hybrid monster ˖ mad scientist characters﹙ 209 jìngyí & rishen. ﹚

ah the herrera husbands, ever as clever. they know just where to look.

“i truly am still bummed i did not get to do the job myself,” jìngyí sighs as he finishes reminicing together with his husband, as they look down at the most recent letters and gifts received.

“well it is nice to have someone do the job at times, especially with how busy we are!” rishen exclaims as he chuckles. lifting up the small glass jar with two eyeballs rolling and floating around inside of them.

one might wonder who wanders eyeless now. if they even have the legs to walk with.

the note that had been on the gift read: “to rishen, let the eyes that looked at you with such haughtiness never do so again.’ and truly, the scientist was flattered.

yet, he also could not help but feel a bit like his husband. they adored your actions. whomever you were, you certainly were devoted to them. good, they like that.

but! they enjoyed the thrill of the chase as well. some of their recent hitlist victims had been discarded of before they as much could get a chance. and the clock was only ticking by every minute, as they were on a closer path to figuring out who kept leaving these notes around and gave them such amazing gifts.

“an assistant perhaps?” jìngyí suggests.

“i do not think so, we would suss them out quickly.” rishen responds with a soft coo in his voice. he lifts up a picture of one of the several suspects that they have gathered.

“perhaps they do not even work here, dear.” another chuckle escapes his mouth. as his arm swipes across the desk and the pictures all fall and scatter across the ground. flaming up with a glare from jìngyí. he may lack his scythe. but he never forgets his spellcasting lessons.

rishen makes his way over to the window of their office and leans to peek over the edge.

“i think that this is someone who is a regular.” with a sharp pointed index, that traces across the window and makes its way to your figure. he smiles, and tilts his head. blinking slowly.

a tut breaks the silence, jìngyí joins his husband. regal and refined as he always is as he watches the passerbyers down below in the streets. quick to catch sight of where he needs to.

“that would make sense indeed. that would be a patient of mine.” he hums and smiles, narrowing his eyes slightly. catching onto the fact you stand frozen on the concrete ground because you have noticed. they see you.

with a bag in your hand, full of gifts no doubt.

[dramionestills]

Dramione month day 8: marriage contract

Three sharp knocks on his office door made him lose concentration from the report he’d been trying, and failing, to complete before the end of the day.

“Come in.” He might as well see what this was about as it was evident the report would not be getting done today.

The door opened quickly and a rather nervous Hermione Granger entered. Curious.

“Granger”

“Hi. Hello. I.. umm… may i?” she gestured at the door, hoping for some privacy.

“Of course.”

She closed the door behind her and approached his desk. He nodded his head at her, inviting her to take a seat. This was clearly something important and he was becoming more intrigued by the second.

“How may I be of assistance?” his head cocked to the side, taking her in and attempting to suss out what brought the brain (and beauty, if we’re to be honest) of the Golden trio to his office.

“I have a proposal for you.” Color rose to her cheeks almost immediately upon saying this. “Of sorts.”

“Granger, if I didn’t know any better I might think you were asking me to marry you” he chuckled lightly at the absurdity of the notion, except…

“Well…” She was avoiding looking him in the eye

“Explain”

“You know what? This was a mistake, I’ll just see myself out” But as she was attempting to stand up Draco waved his wand, simultaneously locking the door and sending a gust of wind towards her which ford her to remain seated.

“Granger, now you have to tell me what this is about. Am I correct in understanding that you came up 7 floors from your department and sought me out specifically to ask me to marry you, regardless of the fact that we are barely acquaintances these days and we haven’t spoken more than three words to each other in the past month?”

Hermione, still blushing a delightful shade of pink, nodded her head. She closed her eyes and began to explain.

“Look, I understand that this is coming out of nowhere for you. I do. But it’ll make sense after I explain. I swear.”

“I’m listening.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his desk and intertwining his fingers together. His chin lays perfectly in the divot created between his forefingers and his thumbs. Hermione cannot help but think he looks imposing and large and were those horn-rimmed glasses he was wearing? Since when does he wear glasses?

“I started using them a few years ago, Granger. You are stalling.”

Apparently she had said that out loud, proving to be more anxious than she had originally anticipated.

“Right. Remember the Smithson case from a few weeks ago?”

“The one who went free due to an antiquated law even though his crimes definitely meritted at least life in Azkaban?”

“Exactly. It’s been brought to my attention that this is not the first time situations like these have happened, wherein a culprit is let go because the victims of their crimes happen to be unprotected by the laws that see them as undesirables or just… less than.”

“You mean Muggleborns.”

“Yes. For the most part.”

“I still don’t understand how this means marriage.”

“Well, I was venting about this during girls night a couple of weeks ago and Pansy mentioned that the only way to actually do something about this would be to change the laws currently in the books from within the Wizengamot.”

“Ah. So you are after the Malfoy Wizengamot seat, then.” His head begins spinning with the possibilities; who would have ever thought that he would be in possession of something that not only does he have absolutely no interest in (the Malfoy seat laying abandoned in most Wizengamot hearings, wasted) but also is of vital importance to a swot like Granger?

“Yes. I know you are not currently making use of it, I presume because you’ve no interest in the more tedious aspects of legalese. I could have of course just asked you to help me and do me the favor of enacting the changes yourself, but Pansy has mentioned how much you love your job as the Ministry’s Head Potioneer and though I don’t doubt your capabilities teaching you and telling you exactly which laws and how I wish to amend them would be, frankly a waste of time. So, I thought, perhaps we could agree to marry. A.. a contract of sorts. Wherein I get to use the Malfoy seat to change things as is needed and upon completion of my, well I guess you could call it a mission? Anyways upon making sure the laws are repealed and new ones are set into place that are more in keeping with our current societal mores we could get a divorce. I expect to be done in no more than 5 years, it would be in name only you wouldn’t even have to see me, I swear and I promise I will not seek any money in the divorce, or anything of the sort. This is strictly business for me.” She was panting after her soliloquy, her hair expanding with her nerves and her flush intensifying. A very fetching look, if anyone were to ask Draco.

The silence after she finished speaking seemed to stretch unbearably. She was itching to get up and leave Malfoy’s office but the door remained locked.

After what felt like an eternity Draco nodded.

“Sounds as if you’ve given this quite a fair bit of thought. I have to say, my neglect of the Malfoy seat has been on my mind lately. You are quite right in that politics and law are not my areas of expertise. I think your… proposal has merit. But there are certain things I feel must be reviewed before I can accede to this.”

“Of course, we can definitely negotiate this to make it better suited to your needs.”

“My needs. Exactly.” There was a sudden heat in his gaze, but surely Hermione was imagining things, right?

“We will be meeting this friday to properly discuss this. 8pm. La trattoria d’il vicolo.”

“Perfect! Thank you so much for not laughing in my face and actually taking the time to consider this Malfoy. I know we don’t necessarily get along too well but well, Pansy was right, you are definitely more amenable these days. See you on friday.”

He just tilted his head as we waved his wand to unlock the door..

Hemione got up understanding it as the dismissal it was.. As she was leaving his office, her mind reeling from the possibilities that her incredibly convoluted and a little crazy idea actually coming to fruition could bring she had a thought that stopped her in her tracks.

“Hey, isn’t La trattoria d’il vicolo known to be the most romantic restaurant in Diagon?”

Draco just smirked. “Yes. It is.”

The door shut as Hermione’s flush returned in full force. Just what had she gotten herself into?

[melbatron5000]

More crap about story rules

I dunno if this is helpful, but I read somewhere that Tumblr is just talking to yourself until someone goes, "Oh, I like this," so here goes. It helps me to get this sort of stuff out and be able to reference back to it.

I'm a novelist. I write speculative fiction, primarily urban fantasy with a dollop of mythopoeia (wanting to lean more towards the mythopoeia, but anyway). Neil is definitely a role model of mine, and has been since I was 19. Terry came a little later for me, in my mid-twenties. I'd read Good Omens by then, but believed Neil had a heavier hand in it than Terry did (Ha!). Once I finally picked up some Discworld, I was hooked for life.

I also recently learned I have ADHD, so not only is traditional institutional academia not my thing, I also have trouble sussing out meaning and details from things unless I have specific instructions on where to look. Once I have that in hand, I often go on a tear and find things that I never imagined were there, and frequently surprise not only myself but others. But I absolutely have to have that first step laid out for me in order to make more of my own.

When I first started writing in the 80s (yes, I'm old), I started looking around for the elusive "story structure" I'd heard about vaguely from other writers. I really couldn't find anything written down about what constitutes the steps of a story, the journey a hero must take for a story to be told start to finish. The other writers I'd heard discuss it didn't have concrete ideas for me (lots of hand-waving and "oh, you know"s), so I figured I'd find it in a book somewhere.

I found a little something about structure from Greek philosophy, but that mainly boiled down to stories needing a "beginning, middle, and end," like, duh, and not a lot about what made those three parts up. As a very basic story-telling model, it is incredibly concrete and important, but it's something we've known for thousands of years by now so it doesn't exactly light up the night sky with insight anymore. It's become such common knowledge that it almost doesn't seem like knowledge. I found more from Joseph Campbell, but a lot of what I found written by him was very airy and sort of dream-like, and hard to follow. So I gave up and muddled along the best I could.

About ten years ago now, I decided to try again, and found a whole ton of stuff written about story structure, from Greek philosophy decoded to Shakespear's five-act structure to The Hero's Journey first talked about by Joseph Campbell to modern Hollywood 3-act structure. Around about 2010 there was an explosion of work done on story structure, and damn if it wasn't eye-opening.

My favorite book so far on structure is The Story Grid by Shawn Coyle, because he has broken down all the various types of structure into very concrete, easy-to-comprehend steps that make sense. He talks about exactly where there is wiggle room, exactly where there is not, the general shape of a story in comparison to the general shape of the five stages of grief, what precisely constitutes a scene and what the sequence of scenes has to be to tell a whole, complete story. (In case you're interested, my next favorite book on structure is Save the Cat! Writes a Novel. It fills in a few holes that The Story Grid misses, and together they make a beautifully complete map of how to tell a good story.)

My favorite, in particular, are the Five Commandments of Storytelling. Each scene, each act (however many you want, I like 4), and the story as a whole, all have to follow the Five Commandments. These are elements that have to be present for a scene to work, and for a story to reach its beginning, middle, and end satisfactorily.

Inciting incident. This is something that happens that forces the main character to change course, take action. It has to be either an Act of God, or another character acting on the main character.

Progressive complications. The main character forms a plan to put life back in order and tries it, but is blocked. They have to regroup and form a new plan. Threes in storytelling are always good, but the main character must be blocked until they reach the Turning Point Complication, where they realize that in order to move forward and have a hope of getting where they want, they must make a hard choice. Often the hard choice is that they must do The One Thing They Didn't Want to Do, though the introduction of new information will drive this decision as well. New information can come from another character, or be realized by the main character as a result of the action.

Crisis. They reach the decision point, where they must choose one thing over another. The decision must be between two irreconcilable good things, where they can't have both; or the lesser of two evils, where they can't escape both. The Crisis can also be boiled down to a "what will they do?" question. They're going to have to pick, but they're going to resist before they choose, and that creates tension which keeps the reader invested.

Climax. They make their choice. It's really that simple. They pick.

Resolution. The consequences of their choice are laid out. In a scene, this means the inciting incident of the next scene is introduced because of the character's choice; in an overall story, this leads to the end of the tale where our hero emerges, having learned whatever it was that the author deemed they needed to learn.

For example, Aziraphale is listening to music when a knock comes at the door. (Inciting incident) He forms and enacts a plan -- answer the door, probably hoping to get rid of whoever it is quickly. It's Gabriel. (Complication) He forms and enacts a new plan -- find out what Gabriel is doing here. Gabriel says he doesn't know. (Complication) Gabriel asks to come in. (Complication) Aziraphale forms and enacts a new plan -- tell Gabriel no. Gabriel says oh-kay and turns to the people on the street. (Turning point complication) Now Aziraphale has two bad choices -- bring Gabriel inside, or leave him to wander naked around Whickber street doing God only knows what. (Crisis) He chooses what he thinks is the lesser of two evils -- he tells Gabriel to get in. (Climax) Now Gabriel, possibly Aziraphale's worst enemy, is inside his home, the book shop. (Resolution) And because this is a scene, this Resolution is also the inciting incident of the next scene.

This can go different routes, as when the inciting incident rouses curiosity or creates a promise of something the character wants, instead of inflicting discomfort -- although if a character wants something bad enough, deciding to say no to pursuing it could inflict discomfort, so that counts, too. The inciting incident just means that something happens so that the main character can no longer keep living life as it was. Something has to change, and they have to change it. In the end, it all boils down to something outside the main character knocking them off course, them deciding how to try to get back on course and failing, and what happens as a result. (Beginning, middle, end!)

A good way to create a mystery is to hide the Inciting Incident from the readers/viewers. Or at least, the Inciting Incidents of certain character and scenes. In the above example, we see Aziraphale's Inciting Incident, but we don't see Gabriel's until episode six.

I believe we haven't seen the Inciting Incident of Crowley and Aziraphale's storyline for season 2. It seems like Gabriel showing up is the Inciting Incident for the entire season, but I believe his arrival is a Complication, not the Inciting Incident. As far as what the original Inciting Incident was, well, first and foremost, the Resolution of season 1 would naturally lead into the Inciting Incident of season 2, just as a scene would do for the scene following it. So there's one Clue. As for the answer -- we just have to keep looking where the furniture isn't.

I hope this story breakdown was interesting to someone. I find it completely fascinating, but I am a story nerd, so maybe what I like and find interesting isn't up everyone's alley.

Cheers!

[sweaterkittensahoy]

As Long as I'm Thinking about Job Interview Stuff

Here's my general pattern for answering the "Tell us about time you failed / dealt with a bad co-worker / had to struggle to complete something /etc."

These questions are asked to suss out if you're an asshole. The reason there's more than one of them is to see if you have a shit talking problem that can take a little time to show itself. Basically, interviewers are trying to get a sense of if you're gonna be a fucking problem once you're comfortable at a new workplace.

I literally once watched myself lose a job because the managers asked, "How do you deal with people who might be temperamental at times?" It was a software company, so I figured they meant "At least one of our engineers is a huge asshole, but we think he's worth keeping around even if he yells at people." And so I said, "Look, we all have our moments, and I do my best to be understanding if someone's having a tough time. I think it's important to remember we're all working together and trying to make something succeed. That being said, if the problem is I'm getting yelled at because someone else is being unprofessional, I'm not going to stand there and allow that abuse. I will be talking to HR, at a minimum, and if that doesn't resolve it, I will take care of it myself."

And, let me be clear, the moment any positive vibes left the room was when I said, "I'm not gonna stand there and allow that abuse." Which told me EXACTLY how they were handling the situation currently.

Anyway, sorry for the recipe blog wander. Back to the point. Here's how I handle the questions where they want you to discuss something negative.

I take a moment to think. Yes, I know the question is coming and already have a few options picked for an answer, but taking a moment to think before answering means I'm not gonna stumble over my words when I start.

Start with the negative. If the question is, "Tell us about dealing with a difficult co-worker," Start at the problem. "Well, I remember once I worked with someone who really didn't like answering questions via email."

Explain why it made the job difficult. "Given that what I do is focused on getting things written down, I prefer sending questions via email whenever possible so I always have a clear starting point on the information I use, even if the information changes a lot through conversation."

Restate the problem as the beginning of the solution. "But, this person didn't like to answer questions in writing, so I started going over to his desk and asking him the questions."

Say something nice about the problem. "He was great face-to-face. Always happy to help."

Explain the solution. "And it turned out he was happy to read anything I would print out and hand him. So, I'd go ask him the questions, go back to my desk and do a first draft based on what he'd said, and then give him a physical copy to mark up."

Stamp a positive final remark on it. "Once I realized how to best communicate with him, he was very open to helping. If I walked over with a first draft, he'd just look at it right then so I could make updates as quickly as possible. And he started letting me know if there were any major design changes on the way and explaining it to me earlier in the process, which made it easier to make updates."

That's my technique. The biggest thing of it, I think, is to make sure your answer is sincere. Don't use a situation where you still want to shove someone into traffic. Pick a situation where you feel like it actually turned out well in the end.

[wizardpink]

Do you guys want to read my Dr. Bhansali clone research / Tale of the Body Thief / Devil's Minion adaptation-in-a-future-season headcanon?

Armand takes Daniel's DNA to Dr. Bhansali in the mid to late 80s and after much trial and error, he is able to successfully create a viable cloned fetus in the early to mid 90s. Kept comatose in a Mewtwo style bacta tank for thirty years, the clone waits while Bhansali and other scientists Armand bankrolls study brain transplants and the transfer of human consciousness.

None of their experiments produce fruitful results, but they're proven unnecessary in the end when Raglan James, who through the Talamasca's eyes on Daniel learned of his Parkinson's diagnosis, approaches Armand prior to the interview with an offer to use his psychic body swapping powers to put Daniel's consciousness into a new body. His price is extremely high, and Armand declines, though it's less about money and more about not wanting Daniel in a different body. He likes Daniel's body. And he still has the option of making Daniel a vampire and curing his sickness.

The thing is, that doesn't go so well. At first most of Daniel's symptoms disappear and he feels great. But then new problems arise. He can't drink blood without vomiting most of it shortly after. He doesn't need to breathe, but his lungs occassionally gasp and spasm for air like he is drowning. Sometimes it seems he has heartattacks but just can't die afterward.

Before Armand can even reach back out, Raglan is back again. The price has doubled now and once Daniel is told about the clone option ("normally I'd be inclined to tell you how fucking creepy and demented that is, but seeing as this is saving my ass right now, I'll restrain myself..."), Raglan has another stipulation: he wants to keep Daniel's old vampire body when they're done.

Armand believes it's because he wants to turn someone else and steal their body after, but Daniel sees through him. "If you just wanted to make a vampire to inhabit, you wouldn't use my shitty body to do it. You'd blackmail Armand into doing it. You don't need to be me to turn someone for you, you need to be me to get close to someone I have access to."

Raglan is impressed but not surprised Daniel has sussed him out. "You're right, as usual. I'm not looking to be just any vampire. I want to be THE vampire." He holds up his phone to display a paparazzi style video of Lestat leaving one of his concerts, his body guards fighting through a sea of screaming fans. "You're going to help me become The Vampire Lestat."

At this point Daniel has spent a decent chunk of time with Lestat working on the documentary, absorbing his condescention plus his verbal and sometimes physical abuse, and he and Armand exchange a look before they, with no deliberation, tell Raglan, "Deal."

Raglan bodyswaps with the Daniel clone first, leaving his own body unconscious, soulless. He then swaps with actual Daniel, putting Daniel back into nearly the same body he had 40 years ago. Raglan, in Daniel's old vampiric body, flashes them both a grin and a characteristically Daniel double middle-finger salute and leaves immediately.

Armand cautiously approaches Daniel. The urgency of his health situation means a lot of difficult and necessary conversations between them were put on the backburner. Daniel must have a myriad of questions and things to confront him with. Where to begin?

"Well?" Armand asks. "Is it to your liking?"

"You didn't circumcise me."

"...What?"

"You didn't circumcise me. I was circumcised. This dick-- my dick--"

"Is that your only complaint?"

"What, like you forgot, or do you prefer it uncut and asked Dr. Frankenstein over here to leave it intact?"

"I did no such thing!"

Dr. Bhansali clears his throat. "I can confirm, the matter was never discussed."

Daniel's eyes have yet to come up from the white hospital sheet over his lap. "For the record, next time? Discuss it."

[lord-of-the-margins]

Recent thoughts on Transgenderism

Tumblr, I think it’s time we approach the gender talk.

I’ve been very angry at liberals since about 2022. Before that (2019-2021) I was terrified of them. I grew up as a liberal in a very liberal area. I knew one moderate conservative. All I’ve known is liberal perspectives and ideologies for most of my life. I went to Evergreen State college for years (super senior). I lived in the epicenter of woke.

I’m not going to be a liberal ever again. Being around a lot of liberals, like in a city, makes me nervous. That’s how bad things have been in my little world. All the bridges have been burnt and every knife has somehow found its way into my back. I’ve since taken them out and re-calibrated my expectations.

Still, I have gender issues. They’ve gotten a lot better. And gender shit is still consuming society for no real reason other than to spread misery it seems.

Because of how horrifically poorly liberal society handles the issue of transsexualism and transgenderism, I’m scared to share the new insights I’ve made regarding gender dysphoria. The way the left fetishizes and commodifies mental illness is truly disturbing. The teenage impulse to commandeer and mimic mental illness for attention is never discouraged at any point. Not even in fully grown adults.

If I tell you what I’ve discovered, I’m afraid you will destroy yet another portion of the DSM in a misguided attempt to validate me. It is not validating. You are harming people. I needed the DSM to figure out what was happening. I needed psychologists to push back on my impulses. I’m glad they did. They can no longer do so without fear of being slandered as transphobic.

I look at the work you’ve done on behalf of the trans community and it reads as a collection of demons trying their best to fix society.

So yeah.

I like Tumblr for reasons other than politics. I don’t really want to talk about politics on here all that much. But this national gender dysphoria the younger generations all seem to have is hard to ignore. It can also be offensive. I’ve felt as offended by Zoomers and Alphas trying to be inclusive as I did from Gen X trying to hurt my feelings. So that’s been a fun little discovery I’ve made about myself and the world. Maybe you just can’t escape it. It’s part of life either way. And if you’re fucking around with gender, it’s inevitable. Maybe constant offense needs to happen just to make this demented form of self-expression that less attractive. Because a trans identity is not an attractive endeavor. It doesn’t make for attractive men and women. If you must do it, you need a thick skin just to look at yourself in the mirror let alone to hear what anyone else has to say about it. It’s signing up for a lifetime of disappointment and can only be explained through mental illness.

To conclude, what I found behind the mental illness was even more mental illness. Given liberals’ inclination to celebrate, imitate, and capitalize on mental illness, I don’t think it would be wise for me to tell you about what I did to make the pain of gender dysphoria go away.

What I will tell you is that I had to recognize that I suffered incredible abuse growing up. Truly exceptional abuse. I’ve been studying books on the matter on and off for about four years now. I had to learn a lot of new things and it was very overwhelming at first. It changed how I saw myself and even how I view reality. It’s been quite a journey.

None of the resources I used were made by anyone in the trans community. None whatsoever. All the people who helped me wrote their books in saner times. Your big gay trans social justice movement didn’t help me one bit. Just like feminism has never really helped me personally. Because exceptional people don’t need a parade to get their foot in the door.

Whenever I get close to woke people, I get nervous. I’ve gotten better at sensing that malevolent energy. Since I grew up with it, it took some time to suss it out. It took a massive fuck up, followed up with sticking to my convictions, to feel about fifty knives in my back before it finally sank in.

A lot of damage has been done and yet there are people under the left’s banner I could still care for. People who make uplifting art that has truly helped me. If I hadn’t found them, I wouldn’t have bothered writing this. So I guess this is for the innocent, the clueless, the kind.

I would only consider seriously talking about gender dysphoria with the public if and only if the DSM once again recognizes transsexualism and transgenderism as mental illnesses and the American Psychological Association allows its practitioners to discourage transitioning.

[im-no-jedi]

In Need of Cuddles

I'm feeling the effects of the monthly blood curse and needed some comfort, so I wrote a little something to deal with that. and because it's Wednesday, I chose the bestest sweet boy Wrecker for that 🥰

this is super short and fluffy, no warnings except for an allusion to suffering from depression 💙 also in case it wasn't obvious, this takes place in the MLWTBBverse✨

___________________________________________________________

"Knock knock!"

Hannah's attention was drawn to her front door. The familiar, boisterous voice from behind it immediately drew a smile to her face.

"Can I come in??"

"Sure," Hannah replied with a giggle.

The front door slid open to reveal the massive visage of Wrecker, who stepped into the room with all the graniose he normally had. A bag was draped over one of his shoulders, and he held a smaller bag in his other hand.

"Clank asked me to bring these up to you!" Wrecker stated as he plopped the bags onto the kitchen counter. A few fruits tumbled out and rolled across the counter, but Wrecker quickly caught them before they went too far. "Hope this is enough groceries for ya!"

Hannah let out another giggle. "I'm sure it's fine. Thanks, Big Guy."

Wrecker grinned at her, then placed the caught fruits back into their respective bags. He was about to start rummaging through one of them to search for a snack he'd brought for himself, but paused just before his hand touched the bag.

Something wasn't right.

He hadn't given much thought to it at first, but Hannah hadn't moved from her spot on the couch since he'd come in. Normally, she would either come over and start unloading groceries right away, or she would give him a little welcome hug. As far as he knew, Hannah wasn't sick or hurt, but maybe he was wrong.

"You doin' ok, Hannah?" Wrecker gently asked.

Hannah gave him a clearly forced smile and replied, "oh, I'm fine. Just... tired today, that's all."

Wrecker's brow turned down. It wasn't unusual for Hannah to hide her true feelings, especially when she wasn't feeling well. And although it was frustrating to deal with, Wrecker knew that was just how she processed certain things. Luckily, he had a knack for picking up on others' emotions, so it wasn't too hard to suss out that she was holding something back.

"Ya sure?" Wrecker began to step closer to the couch. "Cause you're not acting right. To me, anyway."

Hannah let out a small sigh and shook her head. "Sometimes I forget how empathetic you are, Big Guy."

"That's the word that means you can feel other people's feelings, right?"

Hannah nodded with a small chuckle.

"I thought I felt somethin' off about you!" Wrecker came right up to Hannah and bend down closer to her. "You're not sick, are ya?"

Hannah shook her head in response.

"Are ya hurt?"

Hannah shook her head again.

"Did ya get in a fight with Hunter?"

Hannah once again shook her head, this time with a snicker.

"So... what's up then? You can tell me."

A grateful smile spread on Hannah's face, and her eyes began to well with emotion. She let out a shaky sigh before she spoke. "I'm just... do you ever just randomly get sad? Like, for no reason?"

Wrecker thought for a moment, then shook his head. "I only get sad if I see or think about somethin' sad. Like, sometimes when I think about losin' Lula or... ya know, when Kamino went..." He made a noise replicating an explosion and spread his hands out for emphasis.

"Yeah, same. But... sometimes I just... I get sad, and I don't even know why. And it makes my body tired, and I can't make myself do anything. It's kinda like being sick, but not."

"Sick with sadness?"

Hannah managed a laugh. "Kinda, yeah."

Although he didn't understand how such a thing could happen, Wrecker couldn't help but feel complete compassion for his dear friend.

"Aww, Hannah..." Wrecker sat down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry... is there anything I can do for ya?"

Immediately after touching her, Hannah's eyes began to well up more and a sniffle escaped her nose. "I don't know, I just... I'm just..."

As soon as the first cry came out of Hannah, Wrecker threw his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. "Aww, don't cry, Hannah! It's ok!"

Hannah's cries morphed into small sobs as she clung to Wrecker's massive figure. Her face buried into his chest, and her whole body shook as she cried. Wrecker could only hold her, firmly but gently, as he let her get her emotions out.

Eventually, Hannah's cries turned into just small sniffles, and Wrecker used that opportunity to offer her a tissue. He pet her head as she blew her nose, then moved his hand to gently rub her back.

"Ya feel better now?" he asked, still gentle as ever.

"A bit, yeah," Hannah answered with another sniffle. "Guess I just needed a good cry."

"And a good hug!"

Hannah let out one of her signature resounding laugh. "From you? Always."

At that, Wrecker pulled her in again, making more laughs come out of her. "Glad I could help! I hate seein' ya so sad!"

Hannah's arms tightly wrapped around Wrecker's waist, and she nuzzled into his chest once again. "You definitely helped. Thanks, Big Guy."

"Anything for you, Hannah!"

"You're too sweet," Hannah said with a giggle. She sighed and continued, "I think sometimes I just need some good ol' affection like this."

Wrecker let out a chuckle that rumbled through Hannah's whole body. "Well, whenever Hunter's not around to give ya some, I'll gladly give it to ya myself!"

Once again, Hannah let out a boisterous laugh, loud enough that even Wrecker could feel it. "And I'm perfectly fine with that!"