#i had to say all this because i want my intentions clear vs anyone w/ negative feels towards marissa...

[loneliestpeopleinnewport]

The Best Chrismukkah Ever, 1x13.

The Perfect Storm, 3x05

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

My problem with Sallie May—a discussion of representation:

There’s been some discourse around Sallie May lately that’s gotten me thinking more about her. Not really as a character, but what her purpose is in the narrative and how she’s treated by the fandom and the show’s creators.

Sallie May is an interesting case study in representation without depth, and I wanted to talk a little more about what that means.

OPINION DISCLAIMER—I’m gonna be talking about how I personally view lgbtq+ and queer representation and what I consider to be well-rounded representation vs. empty or shallow representation.

Also. I am only one member of the queer community—I don’t speak for all lgbtq+ people, and I am DEFINITELY NOT trying to talk over other’s experiences. My opinions are my own, and if you agree with me, cool! And if you don’t agree with me, that’s great too!!

Also also. I don’t think I should have to say this but, this is NOT a personal attack on ANYONE involved w/i the production and creation of Helluva Boss. This is my own analysis, b/c I like to talk about media and the ways we interact with and interpret it.

So, with all of that out of the way, if you’re interested in my analysis, let’s talk about Sallie May!! (TLDR @ end of post)

First do want to make it clear that my issue is not actually with her like…existing. Or with her general characterization. Mostly because, even with Hell’s Belles, she still doesn’t really have a very strong characterization to begin with, and isn’t a fully-fleshed out character.

In her initial appearance she was a bit-character, bordering on just being a straight up background character. She had three lines in her debut (and to date, ONLY) appearance in the show proper.

Until Hell’s Belles we knew next to nothing about her other than that she likes violence and also that she has a neighborhood body count? Which. I don’t know if they were trying to imply that she’s a serial killer, I doubt that was the intent. Or maybe they were. I can’t know.

Regardless, I honestly believe they didn’t really think the implications of that writing decision through at all. There’s a very real and very harmful “trans serial killer/murderer” trope in media, and while the impact is definitely lessened by the vast majority of HB characters being violent murderers—it still feels weird having the only trans character we’ve seen at this point be literally INTRODUCED to the audience by the fact that she’s a murderer, and to then be given NO further information on her.

Luckily, we DID get more information about Sallie, even if it was still very little and surface level. In Hell’s Belles we learn that Sallie May and Millie used to be a lot closer, and that Sallie May felt left behind when Millie moved to the big city.

In the short, Sallie May expresses her frustration with having to pick up the slack around their family’s ranch, and that she’s been lonely without Millie there. Millie and Sally have a little heart to heart and are able to make up, and the short ends.

This is a nice little piece of backstory, and does give us slightly more insight into Sallie May and what her life is like, but because the episode is a short, we still really don’t get to know her as a person.

Like Millie, Sallie May doesn’t have any real depth. We only know starter information about her, like that she cares about her family, and that she’s violent.

But unlike Millie, Sallie May is a minor character. She has (at the time of my writing this) appeared in ONE episode of the actual show, and one short. She is a minor character, and the ONLY transgender character in the show with a name and lines.

So. Okay. Why does literally any of that matter??? Who cares if Sallie May is an under-developed minor background character??

Well, in my opinion, it matters because the show-runners frame and treat Sallie May as if she is a main character, without actually writing her—or any trans character for that matter—as a main character.

This really rubs me the wrong way, because it comes across as tokenism.

In my opinion since she was introduced, Sallie May has become a token transgender character—an excuse for the HB writers to not write or develop more transgender, nonbinary, and gender diverse characters and stories, because they already have one.

I worry that, if anyone rightfully points out that HB is severely lacking in gender-diverse characters and storylines, the creators and fandom will point to Sallie May as “proof” that they do have representation.

If HB is as radically queer and LGBTQ+ friendly as it claims to be, why do we only have ONE named trans character in the show’s 5 years of existence?

Due to all of the above, I find I can’t agree with people who praise the show for its representation, because of how stunted it is. I just don’t think I, or anyone, should have to read sources outside of the narrative to learn important parts of a character’s identity.

I feel this very deeply as a lesbian and nonbinary person—I understand that most of the women characters in Helluva Boss are sapphic, but I ONLY know that because of the HB Pride Print that came out just this year. I have not actually gotten to SEE any of these character’s sexualities fully represented, and it’s because of this that I struggle to see myself represented in HB in any way.

I do need to clarify that what I am NOT SAYING is that no one can feel represented by Sallie May, or that if they do, they’ve been tricked somehow by writers into thinking they got more representation than they actually did.

Sallie May is a very popular character, and because of that I honestly would like to see more of her. I want to see more of her because she’s the only trans character on the show, and I want her to be properly developed.

I talked previously about how I enjoyed Hell’s Belles, but wished we had gotten to see more of Sallie and Millie’s relationship in the actual show. Their relationship has a lot of potential to show the unique ways in which siblings interact and navigate conflict, but we only got to see a few seconds of them interacting in Sallie’s debut. The short gives us an idea of what Sallie’s personality is like, but it’s so brief that I still don’t feel like we really KNOW her on a deeper level.

To me, three lines + one short with a brief backstory doesn’t feel like the sort of amazing representation that fans of the show laud Helluva Boss for.

As a series that often boasts about its queer and trans rep and inclusivity, I can’t help but feel like Sallie May should either have been a main character from the very beginning, or that she shouldn’t have been trotted out like some sort of bastion of trans representation, when the only indication she is trans is her horns/white roots.

And yes. As a genderqueer gay I KNOW that it can be extremely tiring to have all of our stories revolve around our struggles and ONLY be about being LGBTQ+. I also want to see a variety of stories about queer people like me going on adventures and getting to do things that don’t revolve around our struggles. But I also want to still actually see myself represented.

Not just know outside the story that, “oh that character is nonbinary, but it will not be mentioned in the narrative in any way and will not ever be important in the context of this character I’m supposed to see myself in.”

Madeline Maye talked about this specifically in her critique of Helluva Boss, and her pointing this out was kind of what made me realize that, yeah. Anyone watching Helluva Boss for the first time would probably have NO IDEA that Sallie Mae is a transgender woman.

It also made me realize that the only reason I knew that Sallie May was trans was because her VA, Morgana Ignis, who is also a trans woman, tweeted about it, and the official Helluva Boss Twitter retweeted it.

The original tweet is hidden now (Ignis has since left Twitter—idk why, I genuinely hope it wasn’t due to harassment—that’s never okay) but I was able to confirm that this was the case based on the HB wiki, and the official HB’s retweet still being up:

The only confirmation we’ve ever had that Sallie May is transgender has been outside of the show—either from social media Q&As and the show’s wiki or merch—

Sallie May has a LOT of merch. Like a lot, this isn’t even all of it. And yes, SOME of the merch is from the recently released “Hell’s Belles” short, but the vast majority of it is from the 3 years since her initial introduction.

The vast majority of it is also highly sexualized, and highlights Sallie’s penis through her swimsuit. Now, I’m aware that Morgana Ignis requested this, and I honestly don’t have too much of an opinion on it. I’m not a trans woman, and I’ve seen multiple opinions from trans women on this design choice for Sally’s merch. I’ve seen some trans women say that they liked and felt represented by this choice, and some say that they felt objectified and that it made them dysphoric. This is one of those situations where I don’t think everyone can be pleased—like I said at the beginning of this post, LGBTQ+ people are as diverse in their opinions as we are in our identities and self-expression, and I think everyone’s feelings regarding Sallie’s portrayals in the merch are valid.

I bring it up because, other than the wiki explaining that Sallie May has “male horns”, this is the only other way to confirm that Sally is trans, as it is never acknowledged in the story. I bring it up because I don’t think merch should be the only way an LGBTQ character’s identity is validated.

I assume that all of Sallie Mae’s merch is because of her popularity, but I also can’t help but wonder if this has contributed to the impression that Sallie is a main character, when, in the narrative so far, she is still a minor one.

I don’t believe that when she was originally created to be a “token trans” character, but since her introduction, there have not been any main characters that are transgender, nonbinary, or genderqueer.

We’ve only had one other trans character with a speaking role—this imp:

Who is FTM. He seems to know Blitz from a while back, and talks Blitz into staying at the party. Then he watches him drunkenly make out with random people with another (I assume) trans imp who is probably MTF:

(Also—as an aside, this scene kinda bothers me?? I don’t THINK this was the intention at all, but having a VERY CLEARLY drunk off of his ass Blitz, who can’t meaningfully consent at this time, being watched, and almost like…leered at by two of the only visibly trans characters in the show…it feels gross. Like why are two of the only other confirmed trans characters voyeuristically watching a drunk man who can’t consent making out? It would be one thing if we had a story full of different trans characters who acted in all sorts of different ways, but at this time these two are 2/3rds of the show’s ENTIRE trans rep. With the other 1/3rd being introduced to us as a serial killer. Like. Guys. What is it that you’re trying to say?)

Apparently Sallie May’s VA has stated the below on Social Media, and stated that there’s a lot more coming for Sallie May in the future. And that’s great!!! I really really want to believe that.

But I look at the above and can’t help but wonder…if this is the case, why did it take three years for her to get another appearance? In just a short? Why wasn’t she given more focus and importance from the very beginning, in her introductory episode? If her original appearance wasn’t representative of her and Millie’s relationship then why did they even write it that way???

I want to believe all of the above—that Sallie May actually WILL get to become a main character. But I look at the way she’s been barely portrayed, and the way that she’s basically been used to just sell merch, and it makes me sad.

I would love to see more of her, more of any trans characters that aren’t 2 second background characters, but I honestly have a hard time believing we ever will when the episodes take as long as the do to come out, and the when the episodes focus so heavily on shipping pre-existing pairings.

As a lesbian, I would love to see Sallie May get a girlfriend, but given Spindlehorse’s track record with lackluster sapphic pairings and representation, I don’t have much hope of seeing that either.

I just. If you managed to get all the way through this heinously long post, thank you for reading. If you didn’t, that’s very fair (lol) and I’ve got the tldr for you here—

TLDR:

—My issue with Sallie May is not actually with Sallie May at all. It’s with the fact that we don’t get enough of Sallie May, or any trans characters, for that matter.

—You can, of course, feel represented by any character, but I think it’s important to ask yourself how you are being represented, and if you are actually being represented.

—Not every queer/trans/lgbt story has to explicitly be about being queer. The stories in which we are represented should be as diverse and vibrant as all the members of our community. But, I still want to actually be able to tell and to see that the characters are lgbtq+. If a character is a lesbian or sapphic, I want to see her show an interest in other women. If a character is transgender I want to see that acknowledged by the narrative, whether it’s the character mentioning their transition or just saying they’re trans. I want to SEE myself and other queer identities. Not just know that they’re there.

[moonstruckme]

Okay original casual dating anon and first of all I’m slightly embarrassed reading back my first message I apologize for the length and rant I think I was kind of crashing out lol. I appreciate your insight tho, I think with our generation’s dating scene there’s so many like buzzwords that aren’t super clear and can mean a different thing to everybody. Like short/long term relationship, situationship, hookup, etc etc it makes it so confusing and dating apps make it so much worse tbh. I used to not have my intentions on my profile but then I put long term relationship bc it seemed the least hookup-y, but sometimes it feels too serious yk. Like I just want to date for the sake of dating and ig finding a boyfriend, so if a relationship comes out of it that’s great!! And yeah dating apps are the literal worst, but I haven’t met anyone irl through work or school or going out and my hobbies aren’t super social so I feel like by using them I can at least say I’m making some effort. But at the same time it kinda kills me bc like you and the other anon said, there’s no real opportunity to develop a crush, no pining, very little opportunity for romance, and it’s hard to tell if you’ll actually connect w someone irl bc vibes can be so diff texting vs in person. Idk I just want to fall in love like in movies/books/tv shows/fanfics they’ve given me such high expectations but I feel like that kind of story will never happen for me sigh.

Also the guy answered and was like oh cool I think/hope there’s some room in the middle and asked if I wanted to go on a date. So ig he at least still wants to see me and one date won’t hurt, he suggested going to Barnes and noble which in my head isn’t ideal for a first date but I’m trying not to overthink every little thing lol (and I’m sorry again for another LONG ass message)

Lovely there’s no need to apologize haha don’t worry!! I agree there are so many board, murky terms that unfortunately require us to communicate a lot if we want to clear them up. I had someone ask me to “come chill and watch a movie or something” a few weeks ago and when I tell you I crashed out trying to figure out whether they wanted to hook up or not (I never did actually just ask, because I’m silly and foolish). At the same time, I get what you mean because sometimes our intentions are murky and hard to define! Like it’s hard to say exactly what you want because what you want could likely depend on the person you end up spending time with as well as many other ever-changing factors in your life, and that’s really hard to continue to a couple of words I think. I want the movie thing too :’) I do know people (our age!) who have had that sort of miracle thing happen though, so maybe it’s less rare than we think! And ooh maybe I’m biased but I think barnes and noble could be kind of fun! I did a bookstore date once and (as someone who is pretty awkward and bad at coming up with conversations for someone I’ve just met) it gave us something interesting to talk about, like what we both enjoy reading and different themes we like, in between other topics or whenever there was a lull in conversation. Anyway I hope you have a good time lovely, sorry it’s so rough out there <3

[mmmatchasims]

Wow, I can't believe gen 3 is over! This was my most ambitious generation and I don't think I have plans to ever write another gen as long as this one turned out to be, so I put a bunch of thoughts and ramblings under the cut for those interested.

If you have any questions or thoughts/theories about my bpr please feel free to send me an ask! I'm happy to clarify anything that wasn't as clear as I intended (as long as it's not something I purposefully kept unclear for the time being) or just chat about my story and characters. Thank you for reading! ❤️ Okay, phew, let's get into this!

I hate to say it, but Citrine was always going to die at the end of their senior year. I've had some variation of her & Hib's tragic love story bouncing around in my head since I was at least 14, and that was absolutely not helped by my adolescent love of John Green books. What can I say? I live for the melodrama and tragedy and intensity and clumsiness of those types of stories, and I wanted one in my BPR. Is it the most nuanced thing I could have written? No. Was it self-indulgent and very fun? Absolutely. 😇

While writing this gen and solidifying the lore of the Dream family, a question kept popping into my head. What happens if two people who are meant to be together are somehow prevented from doing so? It's starting to become clear at this point in the story that the Dreams are part of something bigger than themselves. Some sort of prophecy or cosmic will. What would have happened if our Gen 4 heiress had been born to Hibiscus and Citrine? How would the world have changed? Would it have impacted the story? This is a BPR after all, we need a certain amount of generations before we can conclude the story. Or do we? Jasmine seems to be waiting for something, or someone, to arrive. But even she isn't sure when that will be. While we're at it, what is her deal? We'll explore that in much more detail next gen.

Speaking of things that were or were not meant to happen, I had always planned on Hibiscus having a child with Topaz. I tried to leave it up to interpretation how much of their story was fate course-correcting after Citrine died vs. an intentional coupling. They have a shared bond through her, but that shared bond might not be the best thing to foster a marriage on. To be honest, I didn't intend for them to have as much chemistry as they turned out to have. In my mind, they were always better as friends than lovers, and Hibiscus was always meant to be with Citrine. Their whole relationship/marriage/baby montage at the end of this gen was meant to feel rushed and strained, because that's how Hibiscus and Topaz feel. There is real love there, but it was always going to be complicated by Citrine. I'm very excited to explore their dynamic more in Dandelion's gen and let you guys peek behind the curtain into some very honest and raw conversations.

Not to mention, Hibiscus hasn't found out that Andromeda was somehow responsible for "cutting Citrine's thread" before her time... Yet. I left what happened during her visit to the three seamstresses a bit vague, but I'm curious if anyone picked up on what happened. I'll expand on that pretty immediately in gen 4, so don't worry too much if you've totally forgotten what I'm talking about.

Lastly, I wanted to touch on Hib's friend group. Midna and Tamber were literally a reference to the "All or Nothing" webseries/tumblr meme that became a core part of this site's lore back in the 2010s or whenever. As somebody who identifies as being somewhere on the Ace spectrum, I knew I wanted to very briefly touch on my own feelings as a young person working through that identity. And then the dynamic between her and Tam kind of just wrote itself! They are still very happy living in San Myshuno together along with Tam's other partners. Maybe someday I'll do a side story about their adventures together. Cherry and Cranberry are happily married with one daughter and another kid on the way. They live in San Sequoia where Cran is a track coach at the city college and Cherry is a professor at San Sequoia University. I'd like to post some gameplay of them at some point, bc I want people to know they are happy and thriving but there probably won't be any room in the official story for them.

I think that's everything I wanted to touch on! Like I said, please hit my line if you have any questions about the story or just want to say hello and chat. It means a lot to me that people are still reading, despite this generation kind of getting away from me in length 😅 So thank you for the support! I will be taking a bit of a break from the sims for a few months because this gen did burn me out a little bit, but I'll still be active on here reading other people's stories and downloading CC. I'll let you all know once I start prepping Dandelion's gen, I'm very excited for you all to meet her 💛

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[strideofpride]

DAIR APPRECIATION WEEK 2021 DAY ONE: Why do you love Dan and Blair?

I broke down what I love about Dan and Blair into five parts under a read more below. The tldr is: their compatibility, their parallel arcs, their slow burn, the larger message it would've given GG if they were endgame, and finally their mature, adult relationship (aka "pure and simple love").

Warning: I basically wrote a fucking essay lmao. Cited my sources and everything.

I. Compatibility

Dan and Blair have great chemistry sure, but they have something that I don't think any other pairing on the show really had: common interests. They were pseudo-intellectuals who could talk about books, literature, art, etc. with each other ("Dan and I have a real connection. We did things like visit the Dia and debate Charbol versus Rohmer..."). And I know in TV world all anyone cares about is chemistry, but in the real world the key to a long lasting relationship is common interests.

And yet they are also still an opposite attracts pairing, just in the best way, where they are opposite in personality and background, but still share lots of common interests. Blair was the rich mean girl from the Upper East Side and Dan the "poor" loser from Brooklyn, but they still can relate to one another, they can still find stuff to talk about together, they still come to enjoy each other's presence and friendship.

And back to their chemistry: it isn't steamy chemistry 100% all the time (although they can certainly go there). Their's is a sweet chemistry, a chemistry where it's clear that they respect each other, that they know each other on a deep level, that they understand each other more than anyone else. It's a chemistry that you believe could lead to a satisfying marriage one day.

And I know I've said this before, but to me Dan and Blair are just soulmates.

II. Parallel Arcs

I am such a sucker for when two characters' life journeys parallel one another and Dair had that in spades. In season 1 especially, they were both dealing with the abandonment of a parent (Dan's mom/Blair's dad), they both lost their virginities and entered into sexual relationships with much more experienced partners (Serena & Chuck), and they both had their sights set on one school (Yale & Dartmouth - although come season 2 this became Yale for Dan, giving them even more in common).

I've also already talked on here about how you can parallel all of their other romantic/sexual relationships to one another, as well as how they both were abandoned by their best friends sophomore year. And, they both have a bad habit of going back to the same person over and over again (again, Serena & Chuck).

To me, Dan and Blair are almost narrative foils. Dan's relationship with his father starts out pretty solid but deteriorates over time - Blair's relationship with her mother is the exact opposite. Dan pines, while Blair loves to live in denial. Blair sees her life as a movie, Dan sees his life as a novel.

And that makes it all the more satisfying to see them come together, to learn to appreciate their differences, to accept their similarities, to see them grow together (albeit briefly) over seasons 4 and 5.

III. Slow Burn

A lot of people on here use this word incorrectly. If the characters kiss during season 1 (unless it’s under false pretenses) it’s not a slow burn! But Dan and Blair are a true slow burn (whether or not that was intentional).

From that hallway scene in 1x04, it's clear that Dan and Blair have a deeper connection and understanding of each other than they are letting on. We get brief glimpses into that in 1x15, 2x08, 3x18, and 3x22. All of that very slow build up makes it all the more satisfying when they become friends in season 4.

I truly think the W arc is the best written arc of the entire show. You very slowly see them accept their common interests, grow to begrudgingly respect one another, even begin to accept that there might be an attraction there. It never feels rushed, when they kiss in 4x17, it's earned (I use this word a lot - buckle in).

And then, yeah, the Louis arc was fucky (I stand by that they should've kept the love triangle Dan vs. Chuck, or Dan vs. Louis, all three was too much). But Dan standing by Blair through everything she went through that season was beautiful, to see her depend on Dan in her darkest moments, to see her realize that he's the one who will always be there for her...it just really, really worked.

And so that moment when Blair finally calls him "Dan" to his face, when it becomes clear they are finally going to be together...it's one of the single most satisfying moments in the entire show. Because, again, it was earned.

IV. Larger Message

As this video essay posits, the showrunners were left with a choice after the 2008 economic recession: "Either adjust to the times or lean further into an escapist fantasy where extreme wealth is the status quo...and lean they did. For the sake of providing their audience with an escape, the dark underbelly of extreme affluence became the show's core theme. The more it began to sell cynical opulence as standard escapism, the more the writers and fans turned on the less wealthy characters."

Furthermore, by revealing Dan as Gossip Girl, "It transitions him from pretentious soft boy to borderline sociopath, actively ruining the lives of his friends, family, and crush just to get a foothold in Upper East Side society. And then the show did something it had seldom deemed to do for a less wealthy character: it rewarded him...And thus, the show presented us with the most insidious message of all: wealth, privilege, and power corrupt...and that's okay."

By having Chuck & Blair and Dan & Serena as endgame, GG became one of the most cynical shows on the planet, where (to quote Constance Grady) "all relationships are transactional".

But yet: "The sole bright spot in the midst of this cold universe in which relationships are bought and sold like real estate came in the form of Blair’s brief season four romance with Dan...it marked the last hurrah of the first version of Gossip Girl: In a world in which money is so powerful that it makes romantic relationships indistinguishable from prostitution, Dan and Blair were working to create an authentic, meaningful bond outside of the influence of wealth and privilege."

If Dan and Blair had been endgame (and Dan hadn't been GG - although we all know that one is bullshit anyway), it would've been a rebuke to that ideology, it would've shown that there is more to a good marriage than a shared tax bracket, that a genuine connection is more important than wealth and privilege. That abuse does not equal love.

But alas, that was not the story they wanted to tell I guess.

V. Mature, Adult Relationship (aka "Pure & Simple Love")

I am personally not much of a fan of grand romantic gestures. I often find them shallow, childish, and showy. To me, it is far more romantic for Dan to have secretly written a book about Blair, for Blair to submit Dan's article to Vanity Fair, for Dan to say "it wouldn't to me" when Blair asks if it would matter if she was pregnant with another man's child (especially since this moment is (take a shot here), you guessed it, earned - we know he's being honest because we already saw him do this with Milo).

Now, I am personally not as much of a fan of the Met Steps moment as everyone else (Blair's desire to be royalty is probably the thing I like least about her), but that was probably Dan's grandest romantic gesture and yet...it's still so simple. It's really just a plastic tiara and a cab ride. Which is what makes it so beautiful. Because it's not about the money or the extravagance or showing off to anyone else...it's about Dan showing Blair he truly knows her. And to me, that's the healthiest way to do a romantic gesture.

I also love their bad sex arc in 5x18 because a) it's real - most real world couples don't have earth shattering sex the first time together, it takes time to learn what your partner likes and needs and b) because they actually (after getting drunk at Dorota's & Nate's) communicate about it and work out their problem like adults.

Because that's the thing about Dan and Blair - it's a real adult relationship. It's not a never-ending game of cat and mouse, it's not a fallback, it's not a bad habit...everything else just melts away when they're together. They grew and changed together...they learned to put aside their prejudices and see each other beyond their facades. They became better people together. They always had someone they knew they could turn to.

And that's what true love is supposed to be.

[fictionkinfessions]

Some people have been slandering me on other blog(s?) very recently. I would like to explain my side of the situation regarding this. [Thank you to anonymous person who DMed me about this.]

edited 12/2: I mistakenly assumed the 'second server admin' was someone involved with creating or moderating the server. I apologize for making assumptions, and have corrected 'second server admin' to 'second person on behalf of the server' also abbreviated as ‘second person’.

The original server admin was not involved in the slander or misleading ask messages to other blog(s?). I apologize for stating they were. They were not involved with such messages or posts.

I also forgot the first server admin did respond after my refusal. I did purposefully ended the conversation early in order to avoid engaging in system discourse as a singlet. I realize now that I should have been more communicative and clearer on my part. I am sorry I was not, and will take care to do so in the future.

I also want to clarify w/r/t to taking a neutral stance isn’t the best answer to system discourse, and it is taking a side on the conversation whether I intend to as a singlet or not. My intention is to minimize harm caused on my part as a singlet navigating through intracommunity discussions.

Lastly, the concern of lesbophobia has no relation to this server or server admin. I am largely unaware of the origins of these accusations and apologize for mistakenly assigning them to the server admin and server. I’m aware lesbians can be lesbophobic. For the sake of post length and relevance, I omitted this.

note: I'm using they / them because there’s two people involved, and I don't know their respective pronouns. This is not purposeful misgendering. There is a summary on the bottom, but I appreciate anyone who reads this.

This is what happened.

Yesterday, 11/30. someone asked for a server promo for an interest check they sent in. On their server promo post they stated 'no endo systems, no tulpas'.

This blog doesn't promo blogs or servers that prohibit any type of system from joining or interacting with the person's blog or server.

note: this is long and is below the read more. 

I informed the person about this rule. They said nothing in response. [correction: they did respond. I purposefully ended the conversation abruptly to avoid engaging in system discourse as a singlet.]

A second person on behalf of the server, came into this blog's DMs requesting a promo, saying they changed their mind about restricting endogenic systems and tulpas from joining them.

I declined to promo their blog again, having private concerns that they were being dishonest about their intentions. This is because their message came within 30 minutes of my response to the original server admin.

If they really hadn't changed their minds, then I would be sending people into a harmful situation. [My response to the second person was, as quoted here, "No, thank you! Good luck with your server!"]

The person immediately became upset and stated that as a singlet I was gatekeeping their server by refusing to engage with them in any form. I explained this rule was a public guideline on this blog's page, it's not a secret requirement, and that I cannot engage in encouraging system discourse since it's not my community.

I am a singlet. People have in the past been rightfully vocal about not giving a platform on this blog to anyone gatekeeping specific types of systems. I understand and respect that this is an intracommunity discussion, and I will not disseminate such content as it's not my place to.

I responded to their message point by point, expounding on what I meant with the promo rules and so forth. I ended my message trying to disengage with the person in a positive manner and go to bed.

This person responded, claiming I was making jokes about needing to be paid to joke about systemcourse.  I have a copy of our entire conversation and can verify I never said anything like that.

My last reply to that was to state I was disengaging in case it wasn't clear from the prior message, because communication is tricky over the internet.

I felt it was clear from the conversation that I could offer no further help for them. I felt there was nothing left to explain, that they would continue to put words in my mouth, and they only wanted to berate me. I had no further contact with them as I went to bed.

As for the dishonesty and rumors those two have tried to spread about me:

I have not invalidated any type of system in private dms or publicly anywhere. I have never said a type of system was the only correct one, or more legitimate than others. I have never tried to inform anyone about systems as if I knew more than them. [correction: I have and I will apologize for it summarily in another post.]

I have not told anyone to not make servers or promo posts for their servers.

Not promoting a server isn't lesbophobia.

I have never said anything lesbophobic or discussed anything about lgbt identities to anyone regarding system discourse, their system, or anything like that.

I'm a transmisogyny exempt nonbinary lesbian. I have never been purposefully lesbophobic to anyone publicly or privately. I don't even make or reblog ironic homophobia jokes. I might live in the closet for the rest of my life aside from being freely lesbian in online spaces. I'm excruciatingly aware how terrible lesbophobia is and would never wish it on anyone.

The blog rule of not promoting servers who exclude types of systems is for all systems. Endo-, trauma-, quoi-, and so on. Tbh this goes for soulbonds as well because hey, there's an overlap of them and the system community.

My refraining from participating in intracommunity discussions is not ableism. My refusal to reblog promos for anything at all, for any reason is not oppression or ableism. [correction: it’s not a perfect resolution on my part to attempt neutrality. My aim is to prevent excessive harm or distress on a blog meant for the alterhuman community. Me remaining silent on system discourse is taking a side or stance,whether I intend to or not.]

I'm aware this blog has a large audience and I'd rather be careful about what I show to 5,000 people. The purpose of promos is to share that which would help the alterhuman community at large. To promote anything that divides sections of the overlapping communities would go against that. I can’t see how this is unreasonable.

I know this blog posts some sketchy and out there confessions. That is generally the purpose of a confession blog. [Within reason, ofc. No death threats, etc] I feel that vent / heavy themed posts limited to a single blockable blog is not the same as promoting servers where 'Us vs Them' mentalities are grown and encouraged.

If you disagree with me trying to maintain a neutral stance regarding system discourse, ok. I'm not here to change minds or take sides. I don't have the right to a voice in this specific conversation. I only want to make it clear what happened between me and two other people, and why they are saying hurtful things about me.

In summary:

Two different people asked me to promote their discord server that banned endogenic systems and tulpas from joining. As per the Promo Guidelines page, we do not promote those servers. I am a singlet and engaging in system discourse is not acceptable. [correction: one server admin asked me to promote their server. I declined. A second person on behalf of the server tried again to request a server promo.]

One of the server admins had a conversation with me. I explained the rule regarding banning types of Systems. The server admin took it poorly, stating my refusal to join in intracommunity discourse as a singlet was ableism on my part. [Correction: the second person may not have been an server admin, but acting on behalf of the server]

The two server admins are now slandering me on other blog(s?), saying I'm ableist, taking sides on system discourse despite being a singlet, and being lesbophobic. [Correction: it was only the second person, not the server admin.]

I've done none of those things. I have a copy of the conversations to prove it. I don’t want to post it without their consent, unless I really must to prove I wasn’t behaving inappropriately.

I am a transmisogyny exempt nonbinary lesbian who can only be publicly open about my identity online. I am in the closet in real life to my entire family. I know how torturous lesbophobia is and would never be lesbophobic to anyone.

[In fact, the topic of lgbt+ identities never came up in that conversation. I'm confused where that came from.]

If you read any of this, thank you. I really hope I haven’t behaved poorly regarding this. I would like to apologize if I have. I genuinely don’t think I have been unreasonable in this situation.

Connie / Mod Party Cat!

ps, if you know their blog urls, please do not harass them. Also, please don’t harass anyone in their kin community. Don’t be goofy like that, thank you.

pps I’m ok with people linking or reblogging this if someone is confused about what new terrible thing has happened on fictionkinfessions. It’s not required but hey, it’s out there, for eternal record on the internets. Hello world.

pps sorry for putting it in the community tags, but it is relevant insofar as clarifying rumors and dishonesty.

[thegeminisage]

Do u have any advice for a questioning ace or resource references that may have helped u? I consider myself a bi ace and I DO find ppl attractive and beautiful and I feel all gooey/butterflies w attractive ppl but I also don't want to have sex with them?? Like maybe down the line if I really RLLY fall in love with someone and they want that I can try/ease into it but I don't have any intention or want to do that right now. Does that sound ace at all?

the website i went to when i was figuring stuff out was the message boards on aven, but i haven’t been there in over a literal decade, so i can’t vouch for it anymore - i feel like i read that they had a little bit of a racism problem in recent years. reddit is for the most part deeply DEEPLY cursed but i comment over at r/asexuality sometimes (not...under this name i have a secret name lol) and they seem like generally a good bunch. just, uh, don’t wander out of there. i really wish i had a tumblr blog to give you but i find most of them these days are filled with people complaining about aphobia which is SOOO fucking valid but it gets disheartening to see on your dash like ALL the time yk? but if anyone has any they can link ‘em in the notes. imo the best resource is to talk to or read about what other ace people are saying about their feelings and experiences, especially older aces or people who are “used to” being ace, if that makes any sense. not to sound too self-important but being almost two decades out from my first “oh i might be that” moment i like to think i qualify lol. i say this a lot but ftr my door is always open for these kinds of questions!! 

anyway, first of all, the short answer, yes, that does sound totally ace. you can get the butterflies and find people beautiful without finding them HOT/sexually attractive. you can be attracted to someone w/o it being sexual. so if all or most or even much of the time you don’t feel sexual attraction, you’re under the ace umbrella.

asexuality is on a huge spectrum and there’s not really any such thing as like the ace police who are gonna come throw u in jail if you’re not “really” ace. but labels are supposed to describe our experiences, not the other way around - you don’t need to worry too much about if you’re “ace enough,” if that makes any sense. you're allowed to just try it out and think of yourself that way for awhile and see if it feels good and makes you feel more right with the world. a lot of ace people go thru TONS of different labels - i was bisexual, demisexual, a lesbian, a bunch of stuff. so don’t feel like you have to pick one and stick to it.

one of the things about asexuality is that it’s really hard to confirm the ABSENCE of something (which is why a lot of ace people wind up IDing as bi at first - in both cases it’s a situation of feeling the same about every gender, it’s just the switch being flipped “on” or “off” - also please read that post i think it would rly help u). it’s also easy to mix up sexual attraction and libido, and for a lot of people, especially afab people/people with periods, both can fluctuate with both the time of month and your age. so you don’t have to have a clear-cut “ugh NO thanks” reaction or total disinterest in sex/finding other people sexy to “count” as ace. neutrality or ambivalence totally “counts” too (the ace community even coined special terms for people who are sex neutral vs repulsed vs favorable), even having sexual attraction one every other month when the weather is right or having a list of exception “counts” because there are SO many ways to be asexual, it really is such a massive spectrum!!! and aces are the last people who are gonna be gatekeepy about it lol

i don’t personally care for microlabels, i don’t even use the split attraction model because i find the sheer amount of jargon overwhelming/exhausting and difficult to explain to the general population, but reading through the list of them (this list also explains some split attraction model terms) gives you an idea of sheer number of different ways people experience asexuality and attraction to others. it’s part of why i love being asexual, because even if we tend to overthink things, we’re a group of people who are willing to tackle the norms of sex/romance/etc and talk about the different ways those feelings have us interacting with the world. my point is at some point almost every ace person has gone “does that even COUNT as ace?” so like if you’re asking the question imo that’s one of the most asexual things you can do lol <3

anyway, that’s it!! like i said, you don’t have to memorize that whole vocabulary list up there, i personally find the sheer amount of jargon to be too much, BUT i think it’s good to know that there are a lot of ways to “fit” into that ace box. so if it’s a useful label for you and it helps you communicate how you feel to other people more easily, Thats The One, yk? i hope you got at least a little something helpful out of the rambling. ur always welcome to write back if u ever want to talk <3

[thelegendofclarke]

BIG MOOD about your sheid-madi post.. also as an addition, not only did S6 confirm all of clarke's (valid) fears about the Flame, but it also left us at the end of the season with the impression that Sheidheda is not gone, is in the anomaly, and has the potential to be the "final boss" type villain of the 100. all of this stemming from the Flame clarke was just trying to keep out of her daughters head and got yelled at for. I have to laugh.

oh my fuckinglksjadhaksdjgh GOD! are you fuckinglaksjdhglaskdjgh KIDDING ME?!? you know what, maybe it’s a good thing i haven’t watched the last few episodes yet, i probably would have thrown my computer at the wall or something equally high key and overly dramatic. i’ll have to watch them later this week while i’m high on painkillers. that’s going to be the only way i’ll be able to approach this with any semblance of chill…

actually i was literally JUST talking with (aka bitching at… extensively… Lana is Too Good) @marauders-groupie about this the other day because it’s something that has slowly been driving me insane, and i couldn’t really even put my finger on it at first. but now that i’ve been going back and watching old episodes, the lack of consistency is really stark imo. like, i am ALL ABOUT holding characters accountable for their actions and what-not, but there has to be SOME KIND of consistency and/or proportionality in regards to character criticism in the show. but honestly, there is really not.

and ON TOP OF THAT there is like zero proportionality between character actions and the outcomes/consequences vs. criticisms of said character actions. and looking back, at least for me, it’s been really obvious in these last few seasons…

i mean look at the whole Clarke vs. Bellamy/Spacekru over chipping Madi conflict… very VERY shortened version: Bellamy chips Madi to save Spacekru (his family) and as a result Clarke leaves Bellamy in the Wonkru fighting pits to get Madi (her child/family) safely away from Octavia and Wonkru. now consider how those two plot points were carried over into s6, Clarke: Clarke leaving Bellamy and her friends has been brought up multiple times by multiple characters criticizing Clarke for her choices and actions. Bellamy: Bellamy chipping Madi hasn’t really been brought up at all? by anyone?? except for Clarke when SHE was apologizing to HIM.

(and oml don’t even get me STARTED on Clarke apologizing to Bellamy for “forgetting he was her family too” when it was actually HIM who implied they weren’t and not her. HE established HER as the outsider, HE made HER the other, HE was the one who presented it as him vs. her and her family vs. his. if ANYONE forgot that they were family, it was Bellamy; and he made that very, very clear both in his words and in his actions.  this is the lack of consistency i’m talking about like… do they even remember what they wrote?! in their own scripts?!? w-theactual-f???)

but when you look at the continuing ramifications that have resulted from Bellamy and Clarke’s actions, the criticisms vs. the consequences don’t really seem to match up at all? like, practically speaking (not emotionally/psychologically/mentally, just practically speaking) there really haven’t been any residual physical, narrative changing results from Clarke leaving Bellamy and Spacekru? no one died, no one was permanently injured or otherwise impaired, and everyone is still essentially in one piece. and what’s more, Clarke actually made efforts to fix and atone for the choices she made. she went back to get Bellamy from the fighting pits, she waited until her friends were on the ship before taking off, she ran into a freaking force field of radiation to try to save Shaw, she has apologized MULTIPLE TIMES to MULTIPLE CHARACTERS for what happened, AND it was implied from her projection of Bloodreina in her mind space that Clarke is STILL punishing herself for that decision.

on the other hand, Bellamy’s choice to give Madi the Flame had pretty significant reverberations and ripple effects through out the season. yet no one has addressed it at all? except for Clarke apologizing to Bellamy?? even though the Sheid-Madi plot was a HUGE part of the plot and conflict and made up essentially Madi’s entire arc this season??? but the entire time Madi was loosing her gd mind at NO POINT did ANYONE say “hey… ya know what’s c r a z y?!? if you hadn’t… ok idk… SUPER GLUED THAT SHIT TO HER SPINAL CORD NONE OF THIS WOULD BE A PROBLEM!!!” (i will acknowledge that i AM aware that Bellamy couldn’t have predicted just how much of a negative effect the Flame had on Madi. but the point still stands that, but for his actions, Shied-Madi wouldn’t have been a problem at all.) and those consequences didn’t just affect Madi, they affect other characters as well. the ripple effects were also seen in the plot: Madi stabbed Jordan, Clarke almost lost the only family she has left, Gaia was banished; bad things KEPT HAPPENING and yet the but-for-cause of said Bad Things was never discussed.

and there’s also a pretty significant lack of consistency in regards to the arguments Clarke and Bellamy used to justify their actions vs. how the narrative presented and treated those justifications. they both, for all intents and purposes, did what they did to save their families. it was, quite literally, the exact same argument (i know Bellamy was also doing it to “save Clarke” (or at least it was when he was convincing Madi to take the flame), but as far as Clarke knew he was only doing it for Spacekru, “his family” and that undoubtedly affected the actions she took later on). yet Clarke’s decision is viewed as a heartless one that she should be endlessly and relentlessly punished for, while Bellamy’s decision is viewed as acceptable and “the only way.” Clarke has been punished for her choice not only by the narrative as well as herself but also, both emotionally and psychically, by other characters. while in comparison, Bellamy’s choice has received little to no repercussions or even acknowledgement by the narrative, Clarke, or other characters.

and like i said, honestly all the criticism of Clarke and her Choices wouldn’t bother me if there was honestly any kind of consistency OR if the narrative/other characters offered her any alternative paths to take or options to choose. but, at least imo, they really don’t. it’s like they trap her between a rock and a hard place, force her to choose between the fire and the flood, and then always punish her for it… and i just… i don’t get what purpose that serves narrative wise?

there was that scene between raven and Clarke where raven is yelling at Clarke about her “iMpOsSibLE cHoIcEs” and criticizing the decisions  she’s made and consequential actions she’s taken based on those decisions. but, like, they never seem to offer Clarke any good choices or ulterior path of action? every choice she makes is choosing between terrible things and any path she chooses is going to be kind of awful?? what is the point of having a narrative about Making Better Choices and Doing Better and, in the words of Shaw, doing something that makes you “worthy of redemption” when literally no good choices or alternatives are offered???

that’s The Thing about having an overarching theme or narrative about Making the Right Choices: you have to actually OFFER the character Right Choices to be made… and that’s another thing that has been driving me C R A Z Y: everyone seems to want to criticize Clarke for the choices she makes, but no one offers any alternatives or better choices to her. characters can criticize choices made all they want, but at some point the have to offer something even resembling other options or constructive criticism or else they are just blowing smoke out their asses.

i don’t know what the answers to these narrative issues are, i’m not a writer in the slightest and will never claim to be. but as a viewer, this particular, long lasting arc has been incredibly frustrating to watch and has made characters i used to love less enjoyable which i highly resent… and now there is a chance Sheidheda/the Flame is going to be a CONTINUING PROBLEM and cause of conflict and destruction and pain in the story even though it’s out of Madi’s head?! meaning that this plot point is going to potentially carry over for THREE SEASONS?!?i mean jesus tap dancing christ on a cracker.

[noramoya]

“When I was 11 years old my art teacher drummed into the class the mantra, “draw what you see, not what you think you see”. An interesting, yet ironically simplistic point that requires you to look intensively to find the finer details and not interpret something to suit your capabilities. While my art abilities aren’t exactly stellar, I have never forgotten this notion and how relevant it is to so many aspects of life in which it’s important to really look and study something and not just come to your own conclusion. When it comes to the Jackson’s allegations, there’s a lot of ‘thinking’ that takes place – “I think he might have…”, “I think this song means…”, “I think he was…” – And yet, thinking isn’t required. You just need to look intensively at what’s there, not what you might think is there...

SO, ASIDE FROM THE HEAR-SAY AND HOOPLA, WHAT IS THERE ?!

There are accusations against Jackson, there is the fact that no charges were brought against Jackson in the criminal case in 1993 (the settling of the civil suit had no impact on this), a verdict from the 2005 trial which deemed Jackson not guilty on all [14] counts and, then, there is an array of material that can thoroughly disprove the fundamentals of the accusations against him. There’s not really a grey area. The FBI had no issue concluding the same, after a 10-year investigation. Yes, there are certain things that appear unconventional – but not criminal, and these are also very clear points when understood properly and in context.

A common reply to these points is “well I believe that…” – the wonderful thing about a fact is that you don’t need to apply your own sense of belief. A fact is a fact. The heavy lifting has been done for you. That’s usually further met with “Well, I’m entitled to my opinion” – Sure, but when a fact renders your opinion null and void and can prove you wrong, if you’re insistent on sticking with your ‘opinion’ anyway, then this is not a discussion that’s being had on an intellectual level. In the absence of research, Jackson’s public battering has taken place largely on the idea that “because I said so” is all that is required to make a judgement. In a climate that seeks to convict on word alone, the allegations against Jackson are prime and none was so evident than in Leaving Neverland, a movie where two men and their families told a series of stories that on closer inspection, appear embellished, inaccurate or completely untrue. It was believed in its totality in spite of evidence proving otherwise. And yet, there remains this frankly bizarre idea that ‘Leaving Neverland’ must not be challenged !

WHY ?!!

Surely discovering it’s not truthful wouldn’t undermine the concept of a documentary and create a distrust in the industry? Surely discovering it’s not truthful wouldn’t be damaging for victims of sexual abuse? Surely discovering its not truthful wouldn’t impact the multi-million dollar lawsuit Robson and Safechuck have taken out against the Jackson Estate.

SURELY, SURELY, SURELY...

But, as long as we just ‘believe’, everything we’re told and dare not challenge the narrative pushed out by the powerhouses behind ‘Leaving Neverland’, then we can deem ourselves experts, without a single piece of evidence to the contrary. Welcome to the dawn of a new-old age!

The problem with ‘belief’ is, at what point is it not enough? At what point must somebody stand up and say, “I need to validate this.”? And, while some would rather we live in Salem 1693, where we point, accuse and burn at the stake; we do need to validate claims. It’s part of existing in a civilised society. And seeking to validate what’s being said doesn’t make you an ‘apologist’ or a ‘truther’ – that’s dictatorial language. While it’s fundamental we listen to accusations of abuse to determine the outcome, it’s frankly dangerous to replace ‘listen’ with ‘belief’. It’s also perplexing that, in 2020, this still needs to be explained.

Someone said to me “But I’d rather believe a potential liar, than support a potential rapist.” And therein lies the problem – that many would rather consider what’s going to make themselves look better in the long run. They feel that backing a ‘liar’ would offer better redemption in the face of public opinion – seemingly saying ‘we can all identify with the concept of lying so it’s easier to digest if we’re proved wrong’. But, this isn’t about saving face for you – this is about truth.

When Leaving Neverland dropped in early 2019, many looked to the Jackson Estate for some sort of rebuttal. The Estate was quick to launch a $100 million lawsuit against HBO, citing a breach of contract for the 1992 agreement the network had to screen Jackson’s Dangerous World Tour. The unprecedented figure ensured the story made major headlines around the world while firing a warning shot to other networks who consider doing the same thing.

While the Estate has insisted they’re working behind the scenes on damage control, there was a notable lack of anything in the mainstream that would help the public balance the negativity. Taj Jackson launched a crowd funder with the premise of setting the record straight and while that will no doubt serve as something that will be a staple in the fight against injustice when it comes out, something was needed immediately.

Earlier in 2019, Danny Wu had produced a YouTube video discussing the accusations put forward in ‘Leaving Neverland’ and made mention of a new witness who had previously moved in the same circles as Jackson’s first accuser. The witness happened to be Josephine Zhony, a public relations specialist who had several interacts with accuser Jordan Chandler, years after his family accused Michael Jackson of child abuse.

Initially planned as a one-on-one interview with Zhony, Wu had no intention of making a documentary. “I was in a very unique position where I was able to interview a witness who had never told her story before,” said Wu. “I realised along the process that a one on one interview was not going to be enough, it would mean a lot for the fans, but for the neutrals, it was not going to be enough. Around the time there were a series of short YouTube documentaries that were very well made, I just thought, why not take it to the next level, why not make a feature-length documentary?”

What was interesting about Wu’s approach is in the idea that “Square One” was not an ‘answer’ to ‘Leaving Neverland’, it was about going back to the source of the accusations to help understand why Jackson has been continually tied to such claims. What it demonstrates is how people are far more susceptible to the idea of Jackson being an abuser, because they keep hearing it. It’s known scientifically as the ‘Illusory Truth Effect’, which is a tendency to believe false information as correct, after repeated exposures. After over 20 years of repeated exposure, anyone coming forward with new claims against Jackson knows they are doing so, under pre-emptive conditions.

So, with “Square One’s” position, if circumstances and fact can, at the very least, create doubt upon those initial accusations, then the rest should also be viewed under scrutiny. Because”Square One” does not, emphatically or boldly, suggest Michael Jackson is innocent. It simply presents the facts of the case which allows the viewer to reach their own conclusion. And that’s exactly why we’re seeing viewers in their droves affirm their belief in Jackson’s innocence. They can see facts, they can comprehend the timeline and better still, all the information presented is information they can go and locate for themselves. There is no smoke and mirrors. There are no discrepancies in Jackson’s whereabouts. There are no claims made in buildings that didn’t exist.

It doesn’t need to force the viewer to accept Jackson’s innocence; it just needs them to comprehend the facts, which ultimately points to Jackson’s innocence. Unlike ‘Leaving Neverland’, which relies on a cognitive bias to run its narrative.

While ‘Leaving Neverland’ came in like a hurricane, attempting to destroy everything in its path,”Square One” is a quiet storm. Of its own volition, it reached number one on Amazon Prime’s documentary chart. “The goal from the very beginning was always to end up on a platform like Amazon Prime or a video-on-demand platform,” says Wu. “By the time I released the trailer, I had prematurely put out the YouTube release date. When I was in London, I met someone who worked in film and he said if I wanted to get it on Prime, I’d need to take it off of Youtube one day and that was something I really didn’t want to do. But, we made a more polished version of “Square One” with some changes and submitted it to Amazon Prime and luckily, that was the easy part. To see the success it’s had now, that’s the mind-blowing part.”

With its new home on Amazon Prime, “Square One” is finally reaching more people and, when compared to ‘Leaving Neverland’, it is really a story of David Vs Goliath. “Square One” was made by an independent filmmaker, on a shoestring budget, with no media or mainstream backing and found its way onto Amazon Prime, through Wu’s commitment to what he created. Whereas ‘Leaving Neverland’ had the financial backing of two massive corporations in the UK & U.S, prime time programming slots, Extensive PR agency support, mainstream media private screenings, and a Sundance premiere. It was further supported by interviews on all major news outlets, a post-movie special and buy-in from major entertainment industry figures. Its director bounced from channel to channel making false and inflated claims as if he was also one of Jackson’s accusers while suggesting the Jackson Estate were a powerful entity to be reckoned with. It’s fundamentally flawed to suggest the Jackson Estate are ‘powerful’ and ‘merciless’ in dealing with these accusations when ‘Leaving Neverland’ used the power and money of the aforementioned networks to bring the majority of the mainstream media to heel. And anyone who dared suggest the movie was anything other than truthful in its entirety was shut down, dismissed and silenced. That’s the power ‘Leaving Neverland’ wielded. Yet, it is now referred to as an ‘award winner’, as the giants behind HBO and Channel 4 evidently threw their weight, PR agencies and most likely their cash, to ensure a ‘win’. It won an award for ‘editing’ despite continuation issues set 17 months apart and having been exposed for manipulating footage to appear damning.

By contrast, “Square One” hasn’t received or purchased any awards because the truth doesn’t seek a glorified door-stop to stick on the mantelpiece. It’s as if nothing says “healing” quite like the constant reminder of your “experiences”, sitting above the fireplace in your lounge! If that does not demonstrate the intent of ‘Leaving Neverland’ to those who refuse to read a court transcript, then ultimately nothing will.

“Square One’s success lies in the fact it managed to achieve its listing and growing acknowledgement without buying its way into all forms of media. Like a well-constructed documentary, it relies on facts through an in-depth timeline, supported by research, key accounts and first-class journalism. It doesn’t leave anything out in favour of what would appear more convincing and it doesn’t attempt to manipulate the viewer – it just presents you with the facts. While Wu’s tactic could have been to present account after account of former Jackson friends and associates looking emotionally into the camera and regaling the viewer with tales of Jackson’s generosity and friendship; he rightly chose to spare us the emotional manipulation in favour of simply presenting the case and – here’s the best part – it can all be backed up with evidence. Which is ultimately why it continues to inspire social media statements from individuals reversing their opinion having now seen both. It provided the crucial part of the discussion that was needed, something ‘Leaving Neverland’ deliberately chose to omit – balance.

In the year since, so much has come out to disprove so many of the allegations, yet in a race to the top, it’s astonishing to me that not a single top-level journalist from a leading media outlet has thought to crack open ‘Leaving Neverland’ and address the 60+ discrepancies in the movie. It could be an award-winning story, based on research and facts, not opinion. What are they afraid of? Or, more importantly, who is preventing them? It’s also fundamental to notice that while claiming to have integrity, no mainstream journalist gave the same effort, attention or merit to “Square One”. Where was the coverage from Good Morning America? NME? Sky? CNN? TEN? All were so keen to discuss Jackson in detail just months prior, yet on the rise of “Square One”, again silence. It’s glaringly obvious Jackson is only a good topic when a lean towards guilt is central to the discussion, not a fully researched, fact-based documentary which highlights the truth behind the years of allegations.

Any mainstream journalist who gave ‘Leaving Neverland’ its 5 minutes but refuses to do the same for “Square One” is demonstrating their bias and refusal to really look into the case. And it’s somewhat understandable. If you were somebody who sat and invested four hours in a movie that reduced you to tears or invoked repulsion, admitting that you have been duped is something that many lack the will-power to acknowledge.

Instead, they’ve developed this frankly bizarre concept of ‘separating the art from the artist’ in an attempt to appear to approach the debate on an intellectual level, when in actuality it was nothing more than trying to want the best of both worlds. Those pushing this ideology wanted to be able to throw up their zombie hands to Thriller on Halloween safe in the knowledge they’d convinced others it was ok to do so because we’re enjoying ‘the art, not the artist’.

IT’S RIDICULOUS .

Anyone who thinks you could take Michael Jackson out of Thriller is probably already aboard a sailboat looking for the edge of flat earth!

If you truly believed that Michael was guilty of such heinous and monstrous things, why on earth (round, not flat) would you want to still listen to his music? And this is something Jackson’s fans have been saying all along. They don’t defend him because they ‘like his music’; the music doesn’t even come into the discussion of the accusations against Jackson, it has absolutely no weight in building the facts and evidence in the case. The major challenge “Square One”, and indeed Jackson’s Estate face is entering the battle of feelings with cold hard facts. And that doesn’t make you popular. Nobody wants to be the person telling a crying athlete who lost the race, “Sorry, but the fact is, you just weren’t fast enough!” But with allegations as serious as these, how the movie made you ‘feel’ is redundant, especially when the accused is not here to defend themselves. A quick look across much of the coverage from ‘Leaving Neverland’ was self-important op-ed pieces about how the journalist was made to ‘feel’ based on what they’d been told and not what the facts were. After all, telling your audience you’re seeking $1.6 billion from the Jackson Estate is not going to have audiences crying and marching to twitter to express their distress.

So what happens next? In the year since the release, there have been requests from the Jackson fan community for Wu to follow up “Square One” with another documentary – a question I put to Wu who insisted “I’m always very flattered when fans tweet me asking for a “Square One – Part 2”, it warms my heart that the fans place so much trust in me to do something like that, but in my opinion what makes “Square One” so special is, it’s not a rebuttal documentary and it’s not a counter documentary. We tell our own story, so I think that’s one of the reasons it has resonated with neutrals so much – it’s not been told before.” And Wu is right. Whereas ‘Leaving Neverland’ treated the public like geese being forced fed to make foie gras, “Square One” gently nudges the viewer on to the path where they suddenly realise the entire misconception they’ve been exposed to all this time. To force-feed them with yet another documentary would start to feel like agenda pushing. Additionally, Wu explains that, as an ambitious filmmaker, he’s keen to explore other topics outside of the Jackson realm and develop his craft. Asked what he sees as the legacy of “Square One”, Wu points to the change in the way we view and consume media, “we don’t have to listen to the same select voices of the news” he states “if you want to make a change and tell your story, there is an opportunity.” Additionally, he acknowledges the sheer organic force behind “Square One’s” elevation “the fans who sacrifice their time spreading the film through word of mouth, the individuals who translated “Square One” to include different subtitles, journalists who stood behind the film, the cast who stakes their career reputation to tell their stories, my two incredible associate producers who have dedicated months to researching, the legacy is theirs. They are the legacy.”

However, the most important point Wu shared, as we look at the enormous task “Square One” has taken on, was in its ability to break through the mainstream: “I would like it to be remembered for the impact that a micro-budget documentary film can have in one of the most gatekept industries.”

PEZ JAX (left) @Pezjax, on Twitter. DANNY WU (right) @dannywuyue, on Twitter.

[kitsoa]

From reading your theories it got me thinking about MoM's fixation w/Kingdom Hearts (as we've seen in the Yozora ending). If the world the characters currently live in is of the MoM's design. What if he made this story/reality FOR KH? I don't believe he made KH at all. Why would you long for something you made. Chi/Union was originally told as a fairy like tale to Kairi. Even if it was a history lesson it was still told in a way anyone would think it was a made up story. That's kind of a theme-

2 in KH overall when you think about. Things, places and people that are important, special and real are initially presented or accepted as unreal (age of fairy tales. Nobodies. Data worlds/people Ect). The Keyblade Worldline reality could have been created by MoM to get to Kingdom Hearts. That mysterious entity/realm that everyone wants but no one actually really knows fully about. I don't know if it was here or elsewhere but there are theories of MoM wanting to find a way to defeat these-

3 dark inhuman entities he referenced in Union. The way he chose was to create his own story filled w/good vs evil to, as you've stated, find wisdom and understanding of the heart. The one thing needed to open KH and combat those unknown entities. It might be why Y!Xehanort decided his destined actions were nessecary after the MoM revealed to him whatever he did. MoM needs to weed out the weak from the strong. To find someone who can be a 'King' of hearts. Unlike Xehanort who wanted to open-

5 KH himself. MoM needs a champion to do it for him. I think that's where Sora and Yozora come into play. What if Yozora comes from a reality that KH3's reality was loosely based off of. Only the entities are already there and there are no Keyblades. The MoM is using the KH reality to create the nessecary avenues to combat this gradual darkness in Yozora's reality (which does seem quite darker). It's the testing ground to see what kind of reality is most compatible for summoning KH. What kind-

6 person can do it. Sora and Yozora might be the only qualified options MoM has found. Both are a existence that's considered fictional yet real. Sora thought Yozora was a game character and I wouldn't be surprised if Yozora thought the same about Sora. Sora came from a 'fairy tail' reality while Yozora came from a 'reality based on fantasy' reality. Now both are existing on the same plane. Both of them are having weird thoughts if anything is real. These 2 might have always had a understanding-

7 there's something not quite right about what they're experiencing. It's possible Yozora is going to be hugely important to the whole next saga. Even if he doesn't appear too much. Verum Rex means True King after all. Both have been taken from their realms but they've also literally ascended to the heavens. If the MoM has no intention of having them compete for 'King' title of whatever. Then he might see them as lock and key to KH. One w/wisdom of the heart. One w/knowledge of royalty. -

8 Together they make up the nessecary ingredients to open up and use the true KH as intended. Which plays into his designs. But a lot of this is assuming Yozora is similar to Nomura's original idea of Noctis. Yozora and Sora might have this complicated soul brother thing going on due to reality shenanighans. MoM creating the current KH reality possibly pleased him when Sora emerged and proved he was different from the cycle. Sora defied him and was rewarded as Y!Xehanort said. Harsh Reality.

9 Oops sorry forget one thing I think I didn't explain well. In Conclusion. MoM is in another reality. Maybe he created the fairy tail that is Kingdom Hearts to teach others how to better fight the evil he was facing (they say you learned best as a child through stories). Yozora's reality is the place where the true KH can or should be summoned because that's where the dark entities originated. MoM took all knowledge of the Keys to KH reality to hopefully make a King of hearts: tada Sora!

Hmm okay anon. I actually think we are closer to the same page than I initially suspected. So you’re essentially saying this meta-experiment of “Kingdom Hearts” the game and potentially the fictitious “Verum Rex” game are creations of MoM intended on acquiring some supreme concept of the figurative heart. A sort of crafting of a vessel or ruler-- a king-- of this proverbial domain so that he can obtain it via proxy? 

Cause I sort of am thinking along those lines (which means I could have projected in that summation and I’m completely off). My big difference is I kinda look at this as an introspective piece by and for an author. You ask why would a creator covet his creation and I think there’s a lot of reasons why. Think of themes like escapism and the like. Creating your ideal in the midst of reality. An author struggles with never truly acquiring that which they created. It isn’t real. It’s fake. Within the narrative, Kingdom Hearts has been about making real that which isn’t and I think it’s through MoM that such a theme can be applied to our understanding of reality. A theme that essentially speaks of the importance of fantasy. 

MoM in my understanding strikes me as a jaded and desperate creator-- and/or perhaps bored and unimpressed. Creating a swashbuckling adventure with magic and heroes and fun only to find a persisting evil and darkness in the very foundation of his story. Something he would want to vanquish or maybe a force he’s resigned to defeat. It’s a never-ending cycle for every tale and for reality itself. How can his story defeat evil? I refer to my Figurative Language post because I think the manifestation of Darkness in human appearance is more the realization of truly evil people-- figurative monsters in human skin that we may experience in our very real life. Therefore there’s a bit of a child’s coping mechanism at play… but I also get “change reality with fiction” vibes from that. Can fantasy make a difference in his real world? So KH is an experiment toward that. Can the feelings, the essence, the heart of his Kingdom Hearts make a real difference? So he covets that quintessential heart. Sora as the protagonist and the proverbial king of the story is the key to that discovery. 

I steer clear of Yozora in this case because as far as I’m concerned he’s simply a tool being used to indicated the level of fictionality Sora resides with. That is until ReMind gives me some fresh knowledge. (there are too many theories flying around). But considering his relationship with Nomura there is a fine chance that he’s going to be a second strand of thought to this theme. He is the brother creation. A second experiment and/or attempt at attaining this ideal. And as you said, the two kings then must discover who will be MoM’s champion. 

KH is so uniquely poised toward a theme like that because it always talks about hearts connecting and it can be a commentary on how the audience (and the creator) has connected with the heart of Kingdom Hearts-- and all the pros and cons involved in that special, questionably real friendship.

[stonedwitchery]

📜 Sigil Magick 📜 this is a long one...

• I highly recommend not doing any magick of any kind without first performing the LBRP

What is a sigil?

• A sigil is a statement of intent/order given to your subconscious mind to manifest into reality

How can a sigil be used?

• stand alone or in a spell

Cons of a sigil

• on its own, it only works for small things such as a money (depending on how much you currently make and how much you’re asking for), change of habits, ways of thinking, minor illnesses

• you need to be VERY specific but you should be as specific as possible in all your magick workings anyway.

• you can’t do ANY magick out of desperation, sigils included.

• unpredictable (what do you expect? It’s chaos magick)

Pros of a sigil

• relatively fast acting

• easy and simple

• can be used in and on everything

• can be redone

• can be discrete

How to create a sigil

•pick any alphabet, I just use the English alphabet. A lot of witches say you need to use a dead alphabet but that’s wrong. You can use whatever the hell you want and it’ll work, EXCEPT RUNES. Runes are a complete magick on their own.

• create a statement of intent. Never use “never, don’t, won’t, will not, cannot, can’t” and always replace them with “avoid, or without.” ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS add “without harm” to the end of your statement. If you don’t, you or someone else could get hurt or die. This is not a joke.

• Be specific in when you want it to happen.

Example: “I successfully avoid smoking cigarettes without harm within three moon cycles.”

• assign your sigil a zodiac sign or planet. In this case, I’d use mercury. Mercury is the planet of health and is also the best planet to use when you’re unsure of where your sigil fits in. Pisces or Saturn would also work fantastic in this sigil, but i didn’t use those symbols in this sigil example.

• cross out any vowels. A, E, I, O, U, and Y.

Example: S C C S S F L L V D S M K N G C G R T T S W T H T H R M W T H N T H R M N C C L S

• cross out repeating letters

Example: S C F L V D M K N G R T W H

• at this point, a lot of people say to scramble the letters. I highly recommend you don’t do this until after you have taken note of your sigil. You want to keep track of the sigil you’ve made and when. I’ll get into this a bit later.

• create your sigil with the letters you now have and the symbol of mercury, then simplify that as well. You can create the sigil however you’d like. There’s no absolute right way to create a sigil. My way is to mash together all of the letters and keep it as simple as possible.

• I M P O R T A N T!!!! if you can see that a letter can be masked by another letter, for example, an R, C, D, M, W, or F in the letter B, then you don’t need to add those letters in anywhere else.

• at the end, your sigil should look something like this. *if your statement of intent is this exact one, at least create a sigil that looks different than this.* your letters can be partially detached from the rest, upside down, sideways, all sorts of funky, as long as they’re touching. As you can see, I used the symbol of mercury, and formed most of my letters into other letters that they can hide in. I always add a circle around the sigil I created and cut a square around the circle. I’ll talk about the symbolism behind the square and circle another time.

• time to take note of your sigil. I do this on my computer. Now, this may be a bit confusing. I wrote down the statement of intent on a word document, then save it to a folder specific to this sigil. It is usually titled with “sigil *date of creation/date of disposal*”. Then, I add the picture of the sigil, create 5 more pages of random text or images and then add the statement of intent. This makes it easier to keep track of what sigils you’ve gotten rid of without remembering what sigil is created for what. This method makes it easier to keep track of your sigils and is more forgiving if you accidentally open the wrong one. Just to be clear, it’s okay to check the drawing but not the intent of the drawing. You want to be able to keep track of what ones you are disposing of without remembering what it is for. It’s essential to forget your sigil, and if you look back and remember what sigil you created for what intent, you’ll fuck it up. HOWEVER, if you think the sigil may have worked, and you want to check back to see if it is indeed one of your creations, or even to see what changes could be made to a failed one, it is fine to do so. KEEPING IN MIND that if you look at a sigils intent that you remember, and therefore it will not work. Sigils ONLY work when forgotten. In the words of YouTube’s FreakyPhil1309, “Sometimes, thinking that you’re sigil has failed is when the sigil may actually happen.” This quote says to me that you shouldn’t check your sigil for a few months after you think it might have failed because it’s easier to forget when you think it hasn’t worked. This method makes it easier to keep track of your sigils and is more forgiving if you accidentally open the wrong one. Just to be clear, it’s okay to check the drawing but not the intent of the drawing. You want to be able to keep track of what ones you are disposing of without remembering what it is for.

• charge your sigil. There’s a few ways you can do this. The cool thing about charging your sigil is that it could work within a few hours to a few years, depending on how good of a job you did with charging and how specific you were.

1) staring. You will hold the sigil in your right hand, stare at one point on the sigil, vividly imagining that you already have exactly what you want (use your 5 senses), and keep staring and imagining until the sigil has a bright outline or “aura.” Keep going for a little longer after this has happened. It should be about 10-20 minutes. Your charging is done at this point.

2) sex magick. You can stare at your sigil while masturbating and imagining your outcome until you orgasm or are on the brink of orgasm. Then you’re done!

3) this is the one that usually takes the longest but it does work. I recently charged a sigil this way for better health since I was showing symptoms of an oncoming cold, and it worked within a few days, so you never know! What you’ll do is place it or write it in/on a spot you walk by everyday. I wrote my sigil very small on the corner my whiteboard. You don’t want it to be big enough for you or anyone else to notice, but enough for your mind to catch it. You don’t want to go out of your way to look at it. You want to forget that it’s there completely.

* EXTRA POINTS: this is when you can scramble your simplified statement of intent. Scramble them to the point that you can make a sort of sentence from it. Then, chant it as you’re charging your sigil.

How to store them

• I keep envelopes of all the zodiac signs and place the cut-out sigil into the envelope with the zodiac sign that I had assigned the sigil to. In this case, I assigned it to Pisces. Why Pisces? Because Pisces rules over the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind rules over addictions and habits. Therefore, we use Pisces. I’ll make a post on zodiac signs and how they can be used in spells another time. Just place the sigil in the sign you chose. This is the sign that the moon should be in when you dispose of your sigil.

Disposal

•I always write in the back of my sigil what moon phase and what element to dispose during. For this case, we will dispose during the waning moon and we will run it under running water until it dissolves.

• waxing moon vs waning moon. Waxing moon brings things in, waning moon pushes things out. If you want to bring in a new habit, which you should always do after banishing one, you’re gonna use waxing. Yes, this means two sigils. Example: a waning moon sigil would be “I avoid smoking” and a waxing moon sigil would be “I workout instead of smoking.” If you banish, you must invoke. If you want to get rid of something, as is this case, we want to use the waning moon.

# fire moon sign - burn and dump ashes anywhere you’d like EXCEPT your sink or toilet (NEVER DUMP ANYTHING MAGICKAL DOWN YOUR TOILET OR SINK. You’ll thank me later. You may want to also avoid throwing it anywhere on your property)

# earth moon sign - bury (again, preferably not on your property if banishing)

# air moon sign - burn and throw ashes in the air

# water moon sign - run it under water until it dissolves. Don’t do this with your sink. Get a few cups of water, go down the street (preferably to a storm drain) and keep the sigil in your left hand and keep pouring the water over the sigil until it’s gone.

EXTRA POINTS: dispose while burning a candle of the color of the planet you are using with the sigil carved into the candle, and/or during the day and hour of the planet your using, with the candle rubbed in relating oil and herbs. These aren’t necessary but do add an extra oomph.

KEYS

•first rule of magick is to tell no one about your current or future magical workings, or even ideas, but you can tell them about what you’ve done in the past or when they’ve worked.

•making a big deal out of a good outcome will make your next spell work less. If you are working with a habit, that habit can come back. You need to be nonchalant about a successful outcome. The reason being is that getting excited means to your subconscious that you didn’t believe that it would actually work, and then won’t work again in the future. Being nonchalant tells your brain that you had complete faith and keeps the magic going. This is essential.

• FORGET ABOUT IT!!! No magick will work without forgetting about it. You know when you are trying to remember something, but you can’t, so you move on, and THEN it hits you? That’s how it works. It will only manifest after you’ve forgotten about it. This is also why desperation magick doesn’t work. If you’re desperate, you can’t forget.

I know this was extremely long but I really hope it was educational and helps those who need it. There’s a lot of information given on this page that can change your life. There’s also a lot of information that isn’t fully explained such as what signs can be used for which spells, how the moon phases work, how the different elements work, etc.. I promise I will go over those another time.

TLDR; jumble letters into an image, stare at it for a while or masturebate to it, take notes, FAGETTABOUTIT, 🌋

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to drop it in my inbox.

[misssophiachase]

Set It Up – A kinda but not really Klaroline Fusion (like all my different fusions)

Caroline Forbes and Klaus Mikaeslon are working as assistants to the most demanding, rival NBA bosses in New York. From Macy’s to Madison Square Garden to the MGM Grand in Las Vegas can they stop bickering long enough to come together to make their lives easier?

All I do is Win

151 W 34th Street, New York, NY 

"Before you say anything,” he offered, holding his hand up to silence her. “He actually tried to fire a mailman today.” 

He being Mason Lockwood, the Brooklyn Nets owner. He was also notorious for being an arrogant, demanding bastard and then some. 

“And?”

“Mailmen work for the U.S. government!"

“Oh boo hoo, I don’t care, Mikaelson,” she replied gruffly, equally not caring but also knowing it was true and his boss was an ass. 

“Says the girl whose boss could give Cruella De Ville a run for her money.” He wasn’t wrong. New York Knicks boss Katherine Pierce was fierce, feisty and a real bitch at the best and worst of times.

“Exactly why I’m here to claim my blender that you have your grubby paws all over. I called earlier and put it on hold,” Caroline demanded, exhausted from the trek to Macy’s Department Store noticing he was already clutching it possessively.   

She took a few seconds to admire that his thieving ass was sort of attractive in that fitted, grey suit even if he didn’t know his proper place.

Five days ago she didn’t even know him but Klaus Mikaelson had made both an immediate and lasting impression on her, and it wasn’t a good one. She had always welcomed competition but his good looks were kind of messing with her resolve. 

Bastard.

She had no intention of letting him win.

Ever.

“But your name isn’t on it,” he shot back, refusing to relinquish her property. 

“Now, that’s extremely mature,” she scowled. “If I don’t get this exact gift for the Warner wedding my boss is going to kill me.” 

Yes, to some it was just your run-of-the-mill gadget that mixed ingredients together. But this wasn’t just any blender. This was the newest, state of the art Vitamix Blender that retailed at a jaw dropping $1198.

It also happened to be the last one left in Manhattan, Caroline knew given just how many stores she’d called in vain. She just hoped the Warners were grateful, if she managed to steal it from his greedy clutches of course.

“My boss will too given it’s a gift for his only sister’s birthday,” he shot back. “If you think I’m going to give up this blender without a fight you’re sorely mistaken.” 

Okay, maybe she had forgotten in her haste to put it on hold, oops, but Klaus didn’t have to know that.

“Only because you got caught out breaking the rules because I already put this on hold,” she bluffed, refusing to let him win.

“Okay fine, what do you want?” 

“I thought I made myself pretty clear, Mikaelson,” she growled, gesturing towards the blender.  

“What else do you want besides this blender?” 

They both held each other’s gaze for a full thirty seconds before each finally responded their resolve unflinching. 

“Disney on Ice tickets. I hear that the Under the Sea Christmas Spectacular is a huge hit in your borough.”  Brooklyn was most definitely a bad word she could never utter.  

“Seriously? That’s really what you want?”

“Deathly,” she hit back, rolling her eyes as she did it. “Surely you would have some contacts, you know if you’re actually a good assistant.” 

“Because I’m sure Katherine Pierce would love to watch a singing crab and one memory-less fish,” he scoffed. 

“She may be the Ice Queen but she also has thirteen impossible and incessant nieces and nephews. And last time I checked all fish were memory-less.”

“Well, then you’ve never met my Marvin.” Caroline was trying to ignore just how adorable he looked defending his goldfish one dimple at a time.  “Even so those tickets will cost me more than this blender.”

“Okay, so how about I sweeten the deal with some boxing tickets?”

“Not sure the local boxing round robin is his speed, love, so that’s a definite no.”

“Well, I suppose it’s your loss,” she drawled. “Hand over my blender then, Mikaelson.”

“You’re going to have to make me,” he replied jokingly. 

“Real mature,” Caroline reiterated, surprising him and plucking it from his grasp. She couldn’t miss the way his hand felt brushing against hers as she did. “I hope I never have to see your smug ass again.” She stalked away, hips swaying in her wake.

“Until I have to explain the missing blender,” he called out in frustration by way of response. 

“Because I’m sure a missing blender is going to be your biggest problem given you turned down Pacquiao vs Broner ringside seats in Vegas.”  

She made a mental note in her head. Caroline Forbes 1 - Klaus Mikaelson 0. Suddenly her hellish life as an assistant wasn't so bad if he was suffering too.

4 Pennsylvania Plaza, New York, NY 

Klaus Mikaelson was the type to hold grudges. It started when he was six years-old and his younger brother Kol stole his favourite toy and it had only grown stronger and more spiteful in the years afterward. 

Caroline Forbes was going to pay. Mainly because his boss hadn’t let him forget how pathetic he was to lose the blender he wanted to ‘a girl’ as he emphasised in air quotes. Klaus was far from chauvinistic and his boss was obviously still living in the dark ages. 

Caroline wasn’t just ‘a girl’ she was a pain in his ass and Klaus planned to bring her down and it didn’t hurt that it was her home game either. 

Rivals the Knicks and Nets were squaring off at Madison Square Garden and he’d been plotting his revenge ever since their last meeting. Sure, she was kind of gorgeous with those blonde waves and crystal, blue eyes but she was also his devious competition. And she was unrelenting. He had to beat her at her own game and he’d found the perfect way to do it.

“Glutton for punishment hey?” 

“Excuse me?” He shot back from their neighbouring, courtside seats. The pre-game arrangements were well underway. “Last time I checked the Nets and their staff have every right to be here, even if it is on enemy territory.”

“Unfortunately, yes,” she growled. “But it’s nice to know you are going down tonight.”

“Have you seen the ladder, Forbes?”

“You are one game ahead, after tonight that won’t be the case,” she scoffed. Klaus took a moment to peruse her outfit before arguing back. Even in her hideous blue and orange jersey she couldn’t help but look stunning. He decided to put it down to the fact her floral perfume was infiltrating his nostrils and messing with his composure. 

“Wanna make a bet?”

“I’m pretty good at those but if you’re game.”

“Oh I’m game,” he smirked. “The Nets win you get me those ringside seats in Vegas. And by seats, I’m going to need eight.”

“Wow, someone is wishful thinking, but yeah sure, not that you’re going to win,” she scoffed. “I cannot wait to witness the annihilation, Mikaelson.” 

Klaus didn’t even respond, just sent her a teasing glance and made his way to the changerooms to finalise everything. He had a good feeling that his team were going to take the win and Klaus would be on the way to Vegas for the big fight at the MGM Grand. His boss would forget that bloody blender ever existed. 

“In your face, Forbes,” Klaus celebrated hours later as the Nets crowd at Madison Square Garden continued to chant well after the final buzzer. She was shocked to say the least, still cute in defeat but he’d never admit it aloud.  

“This is all your fault,” she snarled. “You cheated.”

“Last time I checked I wasn’t on the court.”

“Yeah probably a good thing, you’d never actually keep up, lazy bones,” she snorted. “How about that whole surprise pre-game show where number one Nets fans Beyonce and Jay-Z just decided to belt out the Star Spangled Banner from their seats?”

“I had nothing to do with that,” he lied.

“You are the worst liar,” she huffed. “You know just how well it would be received and in turn boost team morale.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he bluffed. “The best team on the day won.”

“You are unbelievable,” she scowled. “Must really be desperate given just how much your job depends on it.”

“Is that what you say to make your situation better?” He shot back. “Didn’t think you’d stoop that low, oh hang on that whole blender situation was exactly that.”

“I guess I’m desperate,” she murmured, Klaus couldn’t miss the way her expression seemed so defeated all of a sudden. “My college loans are looming and I may have been a little dishonest under pressure because my boss wants to fire me all the time.”

“Story of my life too believe it or not,” he offered. “If only they could get on with their lives and not focus on every little thing that we do.”

“Hang on,” she murmured. “That might not be the worst idea you ever had, Mikaelson. How about we set them up together?”

“Mason and Katherine? That’s just a recipe for disaster. That much combined combustible energy cannot be safe.”

“Exactly why we have to do it,” she murmured, raising her eyebrows.

“So, I suppose I’ll see you in Vegas then?”

“If you’re lucky,” she chuckled, but given her tone Klaus knew she’d be there no matter what.  

MGM Grand, 3799 S Las Vegas Blvd Las Vegas, NV

“Okay, I sent the fruit basket to her room.”

“Aren’t you a romantic,” she drawled teasingly, barely looking up from her magazine on the bed as he entered. Klaus Mikaelson was the last person she expected to organise that. As much as she was attracted to him, Caroline was seeing no similar interests besides setting up their bosses. 

“Please don’t ever call me that. But, last time I checked you’d done absolutely nothing,” Klaus shot back. “And I won the last bet and everything. Time to show you care, Forbes.”

“Like sending an identical one hour massage voucher to both his and her rooms for the same time in the hotel spa?”

“I suppose that’s okay,” he mumbled.

“Why do I get the impression that you don’t like ideas coming from anyone but yourself?”

“Well...”

“It must be all that ego,” she groaned. 

“You really do hate me,” he asked incredulously, it was unusual for any female to think badly of him let alone abuse him incessantly. 

“For the most part.”

“Wow, aren’t you sweet,” he drawled. “So what are we supposed to do to pass the time?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Caroline shot back. “How about something more intellectual?”

“Wow. Finally something we have in common,” he smirked triumphantly, as she produced a chess board. 

“I happened to be chess champion five years running in High School.”

“Well, don’t want all those potential but ignorant suitors knowing that fact,” he chuckled, sending a stray dimple her way. Caroline tried to pretend that it didn’t affect her but everything inside was telling her that it did. 

And she was scared of the foreign feelings it had caused.

But in true Caroline fashion she decided to push it aside so she could beat him at chess then deal with the consequences that were threatening to derail her feelings later. She didn’t get that chance though. In fact she was in a more vulnerable position than expected. 

“Check Mate,” he murmured, sweeping his queen across the board to take her king. 

She was stunned at first mainly because she never lost. Ever. But he seemed to know her and rather than unsettling her it was weirdly okay.

Bastard.

“We have a boxing match to get to,” she responded mechanically. His hand grabbed hers immediately, the warmth spreading through her body. “Need to keep an eye on our bosses after all.”

“Or we could do something else?” He offered, squeezing her hand affectionately. “My siblings are in town tonight but I’m going to warn you they are...”

“Nick’s Fans?” She asked. “I’ve certainly experienced them and worse.”

“You have no idea, in fact I think they’d be perfect company for Katherine and Mason.”

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t care if you lose your job right now?”

“Well, if you knew my brother Kol and his big mouth,” he teased. “But if you’d rather...”

“No, I’m starting to really like your brother Kol.”

“Well. then you’re really going to like my sister Rebekah,” he chuckled. “How about we explore Vegas some more? See what fun we can get up to?”

“I suppose it can’t hurt, right?” Caroline replied.

Famous last words.

[elizabethrobertajones]

It’s interesting how we interpret things diff in fandom. For ex, I’ve always felt negatively towards dean’s use of sex as comfort Bc of my own experiences w csa but to some other people this reads as more positive on the whole. Do you think that maybe this is what makes people have such astronomically different takes on a character/plot event ?? Maybe this would also apply to 8x17 being read as conversion therapy while others wouldn’t see it. Not original thoughts but interesting nonetheless

Yeah, this is a whole thing in literature/media interpretation classes… You know what’s wild, it’s a pretty postmodern concept that everyone has their own interpretations and there’s rational reasons why we would see things very differently based on our own experiences. Incredibly this wasn’t always the case, and it used to be that there were definitive interpretations and analysis created by a sage literary critic which were then the be all and end all of the interpretation, even if with modern eyes those might seem inherently flawed. It’s why when we learn about historical texts they teach us both the context that the original audience would have interpreted it in, the stuffy academic opinion, a range of other thinkers, and importantly the modes of interpretation to attack it for ourselves, and a chance to write our own opinions. 

When it comes to fandom, people as a whole seem very set in the original stuffy one true interpretation thing, which is completely wild to me. I don’t see it as contradictory to read and reblog a dozen different metas on a scene and even if there’s one I personally lean towards, I find it fascinating to consider multiple interpretations and how they come across to people. And, often circumstantially, certain things seem to fit better than others. For example there are a few Dean hook ups I’m quite positive towards that he seemed to be in a healthy place and it wasn’t too weird, while others are quite tellingly wrongbad to me where he’s in a very poor place and it makes me very sad to see him trying to apply that comfort to very little effect. If someone writes meta that ALL of them are good or ALL of them are bad then I’m probably going to end up reblogging meta that says both to get both viewpoints to have the meta background to pick and choose to where it seems more suited to me to say either.

But I guess a lot cases people get really invested in their particular theory or analysis and can’t see past it either to how other people could think different things, or to find it interesting that they do, and to see how those ideas can be equally merited either talking about the same instance or how it can’t be applied uniformly. Some people just aren’t very flexible and get very angry about their one idea being challenged, even though something like a very specific read of a scene, like that 8x17 reads as Naomi putting Cas through conversion therapy, could be given a few different readings but it never hurts to say “this scene also can be interpreted as…” even if when you have your overall opinion of what’s going on there it might not mean as much overall. 

I personally read a huge overall narrative of Cas vs Heaven as a queer kid in a conservative family so it makes a lot of sense for me to read it that way. Someone who generally leans towards interpreting him as various other things such as portrayed as a soldier first or a metaphor for him being an immigrant among humanity, or other ways in which this metaphor don’t apply so neatly might have much less use for that interpretation but I find it super weird to think of the ones that apply less to a personal read as therefore wrong. There shouldn’t be a right and wrong in this case, but a collection of interpretations you can understand, respect, see the reasoning for, but at the end of the day are not the ones you fall back on for your overall personal meaning and understanding of the show. 

But then at the end of the day, I think the way we all approach the story differently and that leading to different interpretations also comes down to our need for validation etc. I approach it with a somewhat detached academic curiosity when it comes to the fandom’s meta project, as much as the story and characters mean to me, the analysis can be super fascinating but also not particularly relevant or “useful” in the sense of getting a clear grounding in tools to keep on understanding the ongoing show like abstract literary parallels to old episodes or whatever. Like, I just like reading essays branching off and exploring themes and parallels and such, while a lot of people are more interested just in hashing out a clear picture of what happened in each episode, what influenced it, and how to use those tools to guess what happens next or something, which is a fascinating practical application of analysis which is really a hallmark of fandom for ongoing projects and something I’d never even thought you could use analysis for before I got to fandom… 

But for people who are much more interested in a clear interpretation of validation of their readings of characters an plot, they just want the things which will prove to be the most accurate to canon and give them the clearest answer and vindication with new episodes, and that means a lot less room for theoretical asides, and for clear answers for what things mean so that when that thread of the story continues there’s certain ground on what it’s telling them… It means a lot less room for having multiple points of views on events and knowing clear right and wrong interpretations means that it’s easy to determine how things are going. 

Which I think in some ways can lead to quite aggressive fandom behaviour, not just in the obvious gatekeeping of ideas and fighting over interpretations, or refusing to engage with theories that contradict the one you’re most invested in instead of dabbling in them all, but also that when new content appears, people get upset or argumentative about events in very odd ways about what things meant. Obviously you can see it most with anti-factions which are aggressive about people applying interpretations about ships and stuff, but also with getting so rigid about a reading that if the story changes meaning, people are left in the lurch. 

To not be contentious about any current specific stuff so I’ll just use a large vague example, Carver era had very clearly defined symbolism and themes and tropes, but Dabb era didn’t use these and Dabb’s approach to storytelling is very subtle in some ways and really brash in others, none of which can be read like the carefully weighted symbolism of Carver era. I find a LOT more use in analysing the emotional arcs than the symbolism between showrunner eras, even when there is symbolism, it’s often… topically applied? Presifer sat with flames burning behind him in his staff meeting, but Cas sat in front of a similar open flame pit in 14x01 and I don’t think there was any parallel in their intent or behaviour, and I wouldn’t draw the two together, but to take the symbolism of each. But for some people who had been really hugely into the language of Carver era, Dabb era completely threw them, and was physically enraging by how much Dabb wasn’t writing like Carver used to, and there was a lot of upset about how basic his writing was and how wonderful Carver’s symbolism was, and how the show didn’t MEAN anything any more. Of course it still meant TONS, but it wasn’t being expressed in the same way any more, and by running headlong into Dabb era still trying to read it like Carver era, these people bounced off completely and could never get into it in the same way as when there were very prescriptive symbolic and metaphoric rules to follow which made understanding events so easy you could just take a glance at a single screenshot towards the end and explain everything about the scene and its wider meaning in the mytharc. 

(What’s interesting is that the show wasn’t previously written like this - Kripke era runs on mirrors and flips in a way which is actually more similar to Dabb era but minus, of course, 10 years of show history which makes Dabb have such a meta, kaleidoscope version of this, and it was in a very heightened, dramatic form which is very elegant and sublime and worked well as the tragedy it was set up to be… Gamble era was more like Dabb era in running more off emotions but lacked a clear symbolic language AND didn’t have the back to front structure Kripke did, being caught in the middle of completely overhauling the story, and I honestly don’t blame her showrunning in a sense that it was an almost impossible job to salvage the subtextual telling of the show from itself in the wake of Kripke essentially ending the show in 5x22 with raised middle fingers at anyone who dare continue past the original vision. Leaning into their trauma and the story’s trauma was a sensible bridge, all things considered, but it makes hers the least elegant storytelling >.> Anyway this is a total aside… it’s early in the morning and I’m just sitting here :P)

Anyway. Yeah, you can tell I do find it interesting to think about how everyone has all their own interpretations :P I mean I know it’s my own experiences which make me so annoying about having this uwu all interpretations are valid sort of approach to it as well, which is just another interpretation at the end of the day. Though I will be snobby and say I do think it’s better that people could read each other’s analysis and even if it doesn’t go hand in hand perfectly with their pet interpretations at least acknowledge it’s interesting and has its own merits, rather than dumping on it in a knee jerk reaction. But then, some people come to the show and end up with their interpretations because the emotional meaning they give is so intrinsically personal, another interpretation DOES feel like an attack, and trying to deal with people who CAN’T accept that some of us are just shooting the breeze and aren’t in a death grip to any one meaning can get very sticky. Especially when someone seems rational for a while but then on disagreeing they get very emotionally violent and it takes you completely by surprise when you thought you were just chatting and then it turns out you’ve hurt them in their most deep emotional place by being like, anyway lol whatever I still mostly ascribe to this other idea - OH NO SORRY D: WE WEREN’T ON LOL WHATEVER TERMS OH GOD OH - 

[survivormontenegro]

Jury Rites of Passage

Before we wrap up this season, here’s what the final 4 had to say about our lovely jury.

Ali -  Alex, you were someone who from the cast reveal of this season I was honestly terrified of lowkey. You just give off such a smart, strategic energy that makes you someone who is very daunting to play against, particularly since we didn’t meet till merge and I had just heard stories about your influence from OG Durmitors. While I stand by the necessity of voting you out, in that you held a lot of sway over the tribe, and were seemingly tight with Jones and Mo, I genuinely was so sorry to see how upset you got in the aftermath of your vote. I felt like the move needed to be swift and clean to remove such a threat from the game, but I apologise, a move so brutal and so blindisde-y would’ve been rough to be apart of, and for that I’m really sorry.

Benj - You were one of the first people to make me feel welcome when we swapped together thank u for always being so open to things and ur passion for the game was undeniable.

Caeleb - I can’t tell if Alex is gonna hate me or respect me. Regardless, I had to vote him off because he was too strong of a player. Everyone was just waiting for his command and then running with it, and I didn’t want to play that game. Plus, I didn’t think that Alex was alwaysss being truthful with me and just pulling me along until he was done, so I kinda felt like we had a little showdown. It was either him or me, and while he’s a sweetheart and a really amazing guy, I kinda consider him my TS rival. Love ya. I’m glad we were able to crush butt with our Grandma’s Boys in the premerge.

Tom - oh boy big boy Alex you are a killa of a game player I must say going against you really spooked me because you had a solid group of people but I’m sorry it had to be done :(

Ali -  oh my god. When I saw that THE Jules was cast for this season, I can’t even describe how excited I was to play with you. Playing and working with you was everything I could’ve hoped for and more, you are smart, savvy and just a joy to talk to at all times, and we vibed on SO much this game. While I think your robbery was disgusting, I understand why others did it, your savvyness and strategic mind speak for themselves and you were of course a major threat. It’s been a pleasure to work with you and to be able to call you my friend.

Benj - LEGEND!!! When I saw you on the cast reveal I was actually shaking bc as u already know my friends who played almia with you said u were such a queen and so nice and they weren’t wrong!! It was a pleasure to get to play with you even though it was so short, and it was sad that we never really got to strategize and work together game wise but I enjoyed all of our talks sm!

Caeleb - Jules was always fun to talk to. She was super sweet and very good at figuring out where the majority was gonna be in the votes. I was really surprised that she cursed me because while I did tell her that I was gonna vote with her, I didn’t message her for a couple of hours before tribal so I didn’t think I was even being very believable. Overall tho Jules was sweet, fun, a bundle of astrology knowledge, and threw in a little bit of sass to make things lively and interesting.

Tom - wowee Jules you social butterfly icon. I’m sad you were eliminated and that I literally did not help at all by saving you I was in my inactive stage. I commend you on how bloody open you are about your sexuality and gender I guess you really are something special and this is not just because you’re on the jury I love how passionate you are about astrology and hopefully one day you can make something out of it

Ali -  I love you and stan you unapologetically. We had a bumpy ride this season, and my one regret from this season, was not telling you about the Alex vote. I’m sure you would’ve been down, and it burned a bridge for me with someone I genuinely trusted and had a lot of time for. While I think your blow-up was ill advised, given that me/Tom/Jason were angling to save you, I can’t fault you for distrusting me after the Alex vote. I felt awful voting you out but once you set my game on fire, with the choice being you vs Tom, I had to side with who had my back and I felt would be a consistent ally moving forwards, so kept Tom and voted for you. You were also apart of some of my highlights from this season, like calling to work through JJ’s… JJness or drinking white wine on the tribe call. I know you’ve now hexed me three times, but I’ll take being hexed a fourth time, if it means we can be friends after this.

Benj - I have never met anyone quite like you before in an org and even though we didn’t talk much your presence in the game was so fun from calls to call outs. Icon! My FB org friends stan u

Caeleb - Easily, the person I talked to the least in the merge, Ian included. For some reason, Julia didn’t want to talk game with me ever, even though we would vote the same. Every conversation we had would kinda trail off with her failing to respond. I know she was active in calls, and since I wasn’t I think that made her write me off. I kinda wish things were different and we could’ve had a different demeanor throughout the season. Who knows maybe we could’ve made something actually happen.

Tom - lol

Ali -  MY SON. The Nemo to my Marlin. While we like… never voted together from jury onwards, I am genuinely proud of you this season. We didn’t particularly vibe as players, and I don’t think I ever got the chance to see your strategic mind in action, but you played a great game this season, and I’m super proud of you. You kick-started some of the key debates of the season, like this stupid mountain llama mess, but you also kept the mood light and had a consistent positive impact on the season as a whole.

Benj - (El)MO! You were really nice in the game and we got along well on swapped tribe but didn’t have the best connection at merge so sadly ended up on the opposites sides a lot but I think u played a good game! I loved how happy u were to be here

Caeleb - A hero. I have such a tumultuous relationship now with Grandma’s Boys because I had to vote off Alex first, switch and vote Mo in the revote, and then fail to save Jones in F6. I think they might think I am a little bit scheming and never really was working with them, but honestly, I voted with Mo and Jones post Alex because they both were easily the most fun to talk to in the tribe. Mo was hilarious, a true king, and loyal to a fault. When Benj told me that he was voting Mo, I had a sinking feeling that Mo was gonna leave that day, but I held on hope that Ali would still vote Tom. I’m sorry that didn’t happen Mo.

Tom - this is a shame this one we got along quite well on durmitor then the tribe swap really uhm separated us literally. Two seperate bridges that just never came together unfortunately. Good luck and stay safe on that grindr game u play

Ali -  Okay… of all people this season, we have had the most rollercoaster ride I think possible. Whether you know it or not, from me almost voting you out prejury, to voting you publicly at F10, to us somehow working together moving forwards. While I knew you needed to go around the time you were idoled out, I was genuinely so sad to see you go home, because I think you played one of, if not the strongest game this season. You took my vote for you in your stride, and being on calls with you and our weird fake rivalry was so much fun. We were on the first cast reveal together, and I hope we can be friends after this season is all done.

Benj - omg MITCHHHH I wish you had stuck with my plan otherwise you prob would have stayed LOL. King you were one of my favs from the first tribe and we stuck it out thru the swap and kept working together for basically every vote until you left! It was so fun to play w you. Ps… I was the 2nd vote for you when Jared left LMAO… I ofc never wanted u gone but me and Ali didn’t want Jared blowing up the fact we were allies so had one of us randomly vote with him.

Caeleb - The strongest player in this season imo. Like everyone talks about Ali being the favored to win rn because of his immunity run and his social butterfly nature. Mitch was stronger strategically by far. His moves were calculated and always put him in a better spot than he was in before, while also never putting a target on his back. I had my eye on voting him for awhile, and when Jones wanted to idol him out it was like some ESP type shit. He was so strong, and also funny, this season would not have been what it was without him.

Tom - mmmmm big ol mitchy boi is it toiLET or toilet that’s the true question, an amazing ally friend and strategist who was skeptical of everything but had good intentions thank you for saving my ass in this game multiple times because I wouldn’t be here without you

Ali -  when people google robbery, if your picture is not the top result, i will SCREAM. It says a lot that we literally never voted together during merge, and yet I stanned for you with my whole heart, and would’ve voted for you in the end. You have this raw likability, that makes you the best ever, but also SUCH a threat in these games, and after your iconic idol play, it was incredibly clear that you were the biggest threat and so critically needed to be voted out. You are such a joy, and I hope we can be friends after the season.

Benj - JONES!!!!!!!!!! Omg I was gagged when I saw that you were playing this season I had heard a lot about you but never met you until now and I was sooooo excited when we got swapped together!! Joining your side back then was such a good decision and ty for making it so easy to accept me and I loved talking to u throughout the whole game even if we were basically on diff sides most of merge! You would have wiped the floor against anyone at the end and I know one day u will get ur win! ILY

Caeleb - My true Grandmother. Honestly, I hope that post-game we can rekindle and be harmonious because I TRULY thought that Jones was one of the friendliest, kind, and joyous people. I worked to get people to switch their votes from Jones in F6, but I kinda expected that it wouldn’t happen because even I recognized that no one could beat Jones in a FTC. I felt like Sierra voting off her mother in BvW. It was truly my saddest day in Montenegro BY FAR.

Tom - I’m sorry Tunnel vision really got you good, You played such an amazing game and honestly to get to final 6 the way you did you should be so proud, you were by far the biggest jury threat because everyone absolutely loved your personality including myself. I really hope we can keep talking on the outside and your artistry takes you amazing places

Ali -  I spent 40 days on a tribe with you, and I want to say it was a pleasure throughout. From talking about Big Little Lies to bonding over our warped sleeping patterns, we genuinely really vibed as people. One thing I loved about our relationship, was our ability to be rational and logical, even when we voted against each other, after the Jules and Ian votes particularly. I genuinely had so much respect for you as a player and your attitude after the Ian vote, and it was something I attempted to mirror after the Jules vote. You had to go at F5, because you played a phenomenal game, surviving being one vote from going home at merge, and it was for that reason I had to vote you out, but it’s been a pleasure, all fourty days of it.

Benj - We had the most up and down relation probably of anyone LOL from me voting you 4 times to us working together for the rest, it really was a ride and even tho we weren’t the most connected im so glad u had such a great season to return to after so long !

Caeleb - Omg go get ur Donna Summer record. Jason was probably the person I talked to a bunch but barely talked game with. We were always on differing sides of the vote, and kinda to my own demise for many of those, but as a result we talked about different things like eggs and records and gay stereotypes. It was a bold and profitable move when we talked post-Ian vote and set us both up for success for the rest of merge. Let's talk soon :)

Tom - Ahhhhhhh my closest ally in this game, i am so proud of the way we survived this game. I was really skeptical about working with you on budva but i am so glad i stuck to my gut of working with you and ian. Round 1 of merge we got absolutely blindsided and destroyed and every since then we had to fight so damn hard every single round to survive together. We were arguably the tightest duo in the game, we voted together every single round , 23 votes combined 8 tribal councils we were targeted at yet we made final 5 together. Through the dark times we stayed loyal to each other and got ourselves in such an amazing position in this game by getting with mitch and ali whilst also working caeleb. We truly went from the bottom to the fucking top and as much as i dont think i can pull this one out for us, i will give it my best shot. It was an amazing experience with you through all of our paranoia and stress that people were going to split us apart. Lets hope lightning strikes twice and i can pull out this win for you and ian because you both deserve to be right next to me <3 <3 Luv you mountain llama <3 <3

[back-and-totheleft]

Stoned again

It's amazing that the love scenes in "Alexander" are between two men. Yes. But we gotta deal with it. You can't walk away from the fact that pre-Christian worship of multiple gods did not involve the judgments that the Christian and Jewish philosophies brought. The movie doesn't come down for it. It comes down for the idea that this is the man that Alexander loved, and he was desperate for love and trust. He never had it. And he searched all his life, through men and women.

Yet you don't show any sexual contact between Alexander and Hephaistion. Why not? Were you tempted? Not really. Because you only need five words. Alexander says, "Stay with me tonight, Hephaistion." And you get it. If you don't get it, fuck you, it's your problem. We may have had a few takes of them kissing, but it wasn't my intention. The movie is beyond homosexuality. It's about everything: mothers, fathers, lovers, children, your relationship to the gods, your relationship to your ego, to power, your generosity — it's just about being alive.

Olympias, Alexander's mother, played by Angelina Jolie, is a pretty tough lady and a major prod to her son. Makes me curious about your mom. What was she like? I couldn't have done anything without my mom. Her energy is phenomenal — strong, optimistic. She gave me the perhaps distinctive energies I have.

Is she still alive? Oh, yeah. She's a Bush supporter.

You're kidding. That's a mind-fuck. Yeah, she's fallen for the whole security-state thing. She reads the New York Post, which is always tearing her son apart.

You're a child of the experimental Sixties. Have you ever had a gay experience yourself? Oh, I can't say. Because Rolling Stone is read too much, then it gets around to Page Six. You know how it goes — it's a sleaze culture we live in.

As a filmmaker, you've always been a guy who hasn't been afraid to take the leap. Is it harder to make movies with a strong, individual vision these days? Yes, because they — the studios — are making too many movies. It's lucky if a vision or two gets through that system. When you develop the scripts, they cut 'em down, cut off the extremities.

To make them less expensive? No, to make them less controversial. They like the "wild" idea, but all behavior inside that idea has to conform to political correctness. A man can't do this. A woman can't do that. A child is supposed to be treated this way. And when you do show these "wild" things, you have to send clear signals that this is "not right." So I find American movies suffocating, and I think a lot of people do. It's like Soviet realism.

So the conservatism of the political atmosphere has pervaded Hollywood? There's a tremendous kind of consensus in America — it's gotten worse. Conformity was always a problem in school for me in the Fifties. You got this rigidity, this repression, and it's playing out now. I think my generation is very disappointed. What happened to those wonderful guys who were saying things in the Sixties and Seventies? They got subsumed, and I have to feel that the media is complicit. Like a development committee at a studio cuts off the extremes of a script to bring it to the middle, the media does the same thing. It just doesn't allow Howard Dean to be Howard Dean. One ridiculous shout! They clip the edges off.

Do you feel that has been done to you? After years of being in the headlines, you've been almost invisible for the last four or five years. I'm one of many people in our culture who have been cut out. After September 11th, I talked to Norman Mailer on the phone. He said, "We're all going to be gone in a few years. They're getting rid of us."

How did this happen? America had great energy in the Seventies. But now the corporations have pretty much bought everything, so even though there's a record number of entrepreneurs, the beauty and vitality have gone out of things. It's hard to get enthusiastic. Go to a magazine store: You see 400 magazines. They specialize, specialize, specialize. Everything has been broken down to its microself. Inertia results. It becomes too small, too specialized. It's happened to movies. There's no responsibility, no friendship. We all work for giant corporations. Your friends are only your friends in fair weather because they might be axed tomorrow if your film doesn't make money. It's a fear-ridden society, and anyone who says and does anything is in jeopardy.

In 1991, as the Persian Gulf War was beginning, you said that war changes the consciousness of the country. How is the current Iraq War changing the country? It's corrupting it in every single way. The only positive thing that comes out of it is some research in medicine and defense-related stuff. The fact that we still have the biggest dick because we fought the battles — a lot of people live off that. But that's only power. What are we number one in besides that? Certainly not in manufacturing, education, quality of life, health care or the environment. Eventually, this war is going to break the bank. We got Saudi Arabia and Japan to pay for our last one [the Gulf War]. What are you going to do? They're going to tax people like me out of the fucking book.

Why don't you make a movie about it? The remake of The Manchurian Candidate should have gone all the way. I wanted to do it, but they wouldn't let me. In my version, it would have been Barbara Bush as the Angela Lansbury mother figure — the mother bitch, mother hen. It's a great story, because George W. Bush is the Manchurian Candidate.

It's dangerous these days to speak out as you are. Don't you fear being labeled an America hater? I feel it's a beautiful country, but the people are living on borrowed time. It's not just Iraq, it's the whole Bush adventure. It's a radical revolution in American thought and ideas — the notion that we are an empire, and that by setting the rules, we set reality. That is, to me, a complete perversion of natural law. On every level. The treaties, the courts, commerce, morale, war — the whole kit and caboodle. The world has strongly expressed its disapproval, but America doesn't listen or even hear it because it's cut off by the media satellite curtain that they put up. I've been away from America for two of the last three years, filming Alexander in Morocco and Thailand and doing postproduction in France and England, so my Iraq War was over here, and in those countries you saw endless footage, and I was horrified. From the get-go it was a disaster; it was never reported correctly in America. The lies got bigger and bigger, and as you know, the bigger the lie, the more people will believe it. Goebbels said that.

[After the election, I spoke to Stone again, this time on the phone from Los Angeles. He blindsided me with his calm, resigned reaction to Bush's win. Partly, you sense that Stone likes to be a contrarian; but as a competitive man himself, he also clearly has respect for anyone who could prevail in the bloody life-or-death battle that is modern presidential politics.]

So how did you feel when you saw Bush win? A couple of my friends really got bummed out. I didn't. I kind of expected it. I just didn't feel that Kerry would win. There's something too elegant about him, too refined. You have to think back to Mr. Kennedy and how he almost lost too. And the thing about Bush — and we have to give him credit — he's a fighter. He has proved he had more guts than we thought. I mean, he went through a tremendous bashing. To be in his shoes, I would've destroyed myself with doubt. Most of us wouldn't be able to function. He was able to put it aside and keep going. He's a strong mother. So I'm not going to belittle Bush. There might be something there that I didn't see.

I cant believe I'm hearing this from you. My hope is that we all move on. The door is closed. There are going to be conservative judges, conservative legislators, more prisons and a bigger military-security state. Those are givens. My deeper fears are that the country will go bankrupt in some way. Well, it already has. But I'm afraid we'll be called on it, like a Third World republic. Like what we did to Argentina. If Bush keeps on scaring the world, there's a possibility that the blocs would align against him: Europe and Asia and China. It could become an economic war where the dollar becomes some kind of a banana-republic currency. That means everybody's life would be affected. All our holdings. Our American worship of private property would be in jeopardy. There would be a strong undermining of it from the most pro-private-property men of them all!

That would be ironic. But if Bush goes domestic in his second term and adopts Social Security and tax reform as his major issues, I think that will lessen the tension abroad.

What about the role of religion in this election? Is the religious right directing this country now? The religious right was the base of the party back in 2000, too. And they've never given up on the justices and putting them in. They will get them in. We have to accept that. Listen, it's not the worst of all worlds to reverse Roe vs. Wade, but people have things out of proportion, because people will get fucking abortions if they have to, somehow. That's age-old.

You've just endeared yourself to the feminists yet again. I'd hate to see it overturned, and women should have that right, but they're going to overturn Roe vs. Wade. End of story. Live with it. Move on. Abortion is not the be-all, end-all of the world right now.

Yet you're not ready to give up on the country and go live in Paris! Not at all, no. I do believe in the international world, I believe in planetary consciousness and all those corny Sixties things. I do believe that we are all one. OK? John Lennon was right, and we have to maintain that message. But we have to deal with the short term, too. I'm pulling for Bush. I want to believe in his good side, like I did in Reagan. With Reagan, I kept saying, "Believe in him, believe in him," although I kept having nightmares about Nicaragua and what he was doing abroad.

So your reaction to this election is to be a realist and not lament what we can't change?

Yes. Exactly. I don't want to live the next four years in bullshit regret. I'm a doer.

-"Stoned Again," John Colapinto, Rolling Stone, Dec 9 2004