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sinceileftyoublog · 3 years

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Gretchen Lieberum Interview: Eerie Nostalgia

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Singer-songwriter Gretchen Lieberum wanted to make an album of standards while totally subverting your preconception of what that sounded like. With This May Only Be A Dream, which came out Friday, she succeeds, in both capturing the magic of old recordings and performance styles while talking full advantage of the time-bending quality of modern production. In BAFTA-winning composer Keefus Ciancia, Lieberum picked the perfect partner. After singing over piano, she sent what were basically demos to Ciancia, who removed the piano, deconstructing and reconstructing the songs to then be rerecorded with session musicians. The result shares the ambition of something like Julia Holter’s version of “Hello Stranger” but over a whole album. Album opener “Come Rain or Come Shine”, which has been recorded by Ray Charles, Billie Holliday, and Chet Baker, combines lurking, fluttering woodwinds with reverb-laden vocals and chaotic orchestration. On “Blue Skies”, a song that you expect to build up with drums, strings, and chorus, like in a climax scene in a Hollywood epic, the strings cut in and out, toying with your perception. While there are some songs that sound familiar, like the Fiona Apple-esque percussive clatter of “Angel Eyes” or the solemn, quiet closer “While We’re Young”, the back-and-forth between subtlety and Technicolor orchestration keeps you on your toes.

A couple months ago, I spoke with Lieberum from her home in L.A. and Ciancia from his in France about how the album was constructed, their approach to recording, and how they would describe the music. Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: So this seriously just started with you singing over piano, Gretchen?

Gretchen Lieberum: I have a friend who has a studio in his house. I wanted to do an album of standards for years and years. It’s just an idea I’ve had I couldn’t let go of. I wanted to do an album of these songs but interpreted in an unusual way, not acoustic bass, drums, piano, and that’s it. I’ve known Keefus for years, and he was the only guy I wanted for the job. So I waited years and years, and finally, the timing was right to start working on it. I’d just record vocals with my friend Peter at his studio playing piano, which is great because I do much better in low pressure situations. If I’m in a big fancy studio, I’m like, “Oh god, how much is this costing?” It’s hard for me to be emotional and in the moment. I was just able to go to my friend’s house and record any song that popped into my head or I was feeling. I would send them to Keefus, and he would pick his faves. I think I recorded maybe 25 songs in all, and we ended up with 10.

Keefus Ciancia: The most important part is what Gretchen said--the comfort zone that Gretchen was in where she could get to the feel and heart of the song, comfortably with Peter. He’s an amazing piano player, and they had such a good rhythm that everything I was getting made it so that it was just real. It felt right. That was always fun to be able to open these and also have total separation, pick out Peter’s stuff and start reimagining things, erasing the chords. Gretchen was on fire! She was knocking them out. A lot of great pieces I’ve never heard, too, which I really enjoyed. Maybe that was good for me, too, to not know those standards as well so I wasn’t trapped in the chords. Maybe my lameness of being a hack--I wanted to be a jazz player but I couldn’t do it! [laughs]

GL: That’s what’s so great. I didn’t want a jazz guy to produce it. That’s what ended up happening--he would choose his own chords underneath the melodies that were really interesting and cool.

SILY: Did you know he was gonna remove the piano?

GL: Oh yeah. I know Keefus’s aesthetic and how he works, so I was like, “I’m gonna send you this, have fun, go to town.” I sent him literally zero notes and never knew what I was gonna get back. There’d be a song that’s a stark ballad that would come back with a full orchestra, some of the tempo sped up, some of it slowed down. Different lines chopped up into different places. Quite a few times, I’d take the song and rerecord the vocal to go with what Keefus did, to emotionally match what he created. Sometimes not--the song “Come Rain or Come Shine” was one take I did at Peter’s house and didn’t change at all.

SILY: How did you whittle down from the initial list of 25 songs for this record?

GL: This project was so much about emotion and love and love of these songs. What songs I loved singing and what was inspiring me. I grew up in a house where jazz was constantly playing. My father wasn’t a musician but a huge fan. It was a big part of my life growing up. I was in the jazz band as a singer in high school. These are songs I’ve known my whole life. There were some that I tried that I didn’t feel that I didn’t send to Keefus.

There are a few that aren’t jazz standards, too. We do a Beach Boys song, which is also a song that I love.

SILY: They’re standards nonetheless, independent of genre.

GL: Yes.

SILY: What made you want to release “Come Rain or Come Shine” as the first single and open with it?

GL: It’s just one of my favorites. One of the ones I’m most proud of. It’s indicative of the project as a whole. It’s a standard I approach traditionally from how I’m singing it, but there are these surreal flourishes around it. Also, I mean, what an intro, that [screams] “Ahhh!”

KC: I agree.

SILY: What was the process of getting the session musicians in after Keefus worked on the songs?

KC: Basically, it was kind of known all the way through that once we got these bodies we’d get some more breath and air on it to get more of the quality Gretchen and I love from old 50′s recordings but also taking it somewhere new. That studio is now closed--Vox Studios--such an amazing place that was perfect for that record. It was the first commercial studio in Hollywood through Paramount.

GL: It was the longest continuously running studio in the world, I read.

KC: Someone will move in, I’m sure. Woody [Jackson], who owns it, there was no rebuilding the rooms because they sounded so good from how they were built in the 40′s. The room is amazing, and his engineer Michael Harris is incredible. He was the first one to get his ears on this stuff besides Gretchen and I. To be able to put it in a room, listen through a different system, warm things up for his outboard gear. We had some of our favorite musicians. It wasn’t a ton of folks, but the dream scenario where we had 5 days and a rolling, “Get moving”. The next day, Gretchen sings, then some more people come in.

GL: Jay Bellerose is so damn good. So tasty. He just goes in and does his thing.

KC: His heart breathes all the old jazz but he’s also someone who likes to keep pushing things. I think that was the trick with us--we always want to hear something new. Of course, there are some things that sound great that you should do again, but we all listen to music so much you just want something new. Sometimes, you have to make it yourself.

SILY: The album does sound new even though it has older reference points, both the songs themselves and aesthetically. A lot of older jazz tunes with woodwinds and fluttery strings have something eerie and disorienting about them. Thinking about a track like “Blue Skies”, when the sound cuts in and out. That’s not something you hear on traditional “standards” records. To what extent were you trying to achieve that eerie nostalgia?

GL: I think “eerie nostalgia”’s just our M.O., you know? [laughs]

KC: I like that, eerie nostalgia.

GL: I don’t even think we try.

SILY: “For All We Know” starts out with quiet plucks of string but ends up a swinging jazz tune, the moment on here that’s the most “traditional.”

GL: Even on that one, it’s funny because our friend David Ralicke, who plays the horns on everything--he’s incredible and has such great taste. But this one, I was like “Keefus, I don’t know.” Keefus was like, “It’s gotta get big. It’s gotta be a party at the end, an explosion!” Ralicke, he sent a bunch of horns. When he sent them in, they were very bright and intense, and I was like, “Oh god, this is a little weird!” Keefus was like, “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make it weird and demented.” It is traditional, but something about the way it’s mixed or the added affects give it that eeriness, which I love.

One thing Keefus often did that was really surprising to me was there were songs I sent as straight ballads, like this one. If you listen to the lyrics, the first half is like, “Who knows what’s gonna happen? Life is so uncertain.” But then it’s like, “Who cares? Tomorrow may never come.” And it’s a celebration. It’s one of my favorite songs now after being most uncertain about it at first. Keefus, you sent me Frank Sinatra, Jr. singing “Black Knight” [as a reference]. It starts as a ballad and explodes, an emotional outburst.

SILY: Is there any other specific track on here you think is a standout?

KC: Each one is such a little episode, that even that was tricky to put in order for the record. It almost would have been interesting to go old school and release 45s, make each one of them a single and B-side. When you hear “Wild Is The Wind”, on my radio, I would make that a single. It’s totally different than the others. It’s not this powerhouse. But if I bought it as a single, I would think it’s a really beautiful single. Same with “Who Knows Where The Time Goes”. That’s on Keefus & Gretchen radio. [laughs]

GL: “Who Knows Where The Time Goes” was the very first song Keefus did. It was the only vocal recorded at my house, with a different friend in my dining room, with a little laptop mic set up. We used that vocal. It’s a pretty special one, and genre-defying. “Wild Is The Wind” fits comfortably in the jazz section. Or not--I don’t know. It’s a weird question. One of the things I hate more than anything is when I’m uploading my music and it asks you to pick a category. I don’t know. I hate picking a category. Nothing feels quite right, and it feels like a mixture of all of these things.

KC: Gretchen is a huge jazz fan listening for a long time, but jazz records strayed from her and my tastes as it went along. Jazz records went on a different road and started getting not such a punk rock vibe. It was a classy thing, not so underground. That was one thing we were talking about when finishing the record. We think it should be heard by all age groups and invite them to learn these pieces because they might not have the chance to learn them as often. To pick a genre can really be dangerous for all artists because there are a ton of artists that like a ton of different music and can make a ton of different music and change their records as they go. That was big, too: approaching this apart from being a jazz record and bringing in new listeners. Gretchen and I don’t know exaxctly how this works with the tagging on Spotify, but if you put “jazz” on it, does that mean other people will never listen to it?

GL: I don’t think it is a jazz album. It’s an album of standards, but I wouldn’t call it a jazz album.

KC: I like to call it torched songs instead of torch songs.

SILY: What was the overall approach to the sequencing?

GL: I really pulled my hair out. I was crying myself to sleep at night. It was hard. One thing we ended up doing, which was Keefus’s idea, was he felt like the A-side of the record leaned themselves more to samples and surreal electronic elements. Keefus was like, “Once you get sucked into the album, the vibe is very complementary, and you can take people anywhere.” So after the first 4-5 songs, “Wild is the Wind” comes, which is a stripped down ballad. From then, you’re just on the ride.

SILY: What was the inspiration behind the album title?

GL: I had this idea of taking a line from one of the songs as the album title. I went through all the songs and went through some of my favorite lines. At one point, I thought I was gonna call it “How Blue The Sky” which is from the last song, “While We’re Young.” But then I thought “This May Only Be A Dream” felt really good with the dreaminess of this music and the somewhat surreal journey it takes you on. One thing I’m really proud of about the record is it takes you on an emotional journey from start to finish. I know the kids don’t listen to albums anymore. Peter was one of the people I sent it to, and he said, “I feel like I watched a film listening to this album.” That felt right.

SILY: What’s the story behind the cover art?

GL: Keefus’s daughter Raven [Violet Ciancia-Vincent] is a really talented visual video artist. She’s the one that directed the video for “Come Rain or Come Shine.” We made a video for the song “Don’t Explain”, and that’s just a still from the video. She layers things like a collage, so there’s a video of me with fireworks on top of it. When I was trying to come up with something to make the cover, I took a bunch of stills from the video, and that one jumped out at me, especially with the title, This May Only Be A Dream. I just thought it really worked beautifully together. The font, to me, is a throwback to the Blue Note covers. I know a lot of people do Blue Note covers, so I wanted to do a little nod to it without fully going there.

SILY: Are you planning on doing any shows?

GL: When we do end up playing live again--Keefus, I should probably talk to you about what the hell you think I should do--but some of it would be laptop-tracked songs with live bass or drums on top of it. That’s possible, right, Keefus?

KC: I would dream of a full-on 10-to-12 piece orchestra. For a special show in Los Angeles, and when everything explodes, a special show in New York and Paris. I think you could get the right band, and it’s all completely playable.

GL: Maybe a keyboard player adding samples.

KC: Do you play, Jordan? Gretchen’s looking for band members.

SILY: I don’t.

GL: Show me ya stuff, kid! [laughs]

SILY: What else is next for you?

GL: My husband [filmmaker Jacob Aaron Estes] ended up doing an alternate video for “Don’t Explain” that we’re gonna release that I’m pretty excited about. The other thing that I do--which is a totally other universe--is my Prince cover band with Maya Rudolph. I hope we start playing again. That would be great. I am glad, though, that I had so much time to focus on my own music. As much as I love doing Princess, it’s not totally me. I want to really focus on this for a while.

KC: I’m doing Pringles commericals. [laughs] I’ve been working on a bunch of shows and some records and a new soundtrack for a show [Made For Love]. I’ve made a lot of music during the last year and a half. There’s some fun stuff coming up. I’ll start a new Unloved record when our band is allowed to fly over here.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading that’s caught your attention?

GL: My mind just went utterly blank. [laughs] Utterly. I’ve been reading a lot of weird dystopian future stuff to distract my anxiety about the dystopian future stuff we’re dealing with in real life. Reading it calms my nerves.

KC: I watched the Bee Gees documentary [How Can You Mend a Broken Heart] the other night on HBO. I thought it was beautiful. They just touch those places, when you hear those voices.

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interesting-blog-name · 4 years

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Björk DISCOG REVIEW Part 1

One of the most recognized avant-garde singers in the world, Björk Guðmundsdóttir is an Icelandic artist who has been releasing critically acclaimed albums since the early 90s, and an icon in the experimental music scene. I thought it’d be an exciting experience to dive into her discography to find out if her music resonates with me, and to understand what this revered singer is all about. I decided to start with her major studio albums first, then moving on to her early work with Icelandic band The Sugarcubes and whatever else she has out there.

Debut

Björk’s properly titled debut is a wild amalgamation of sweet love songs, upbeat house music inspired by the UK’s early 90s scene, a hint of jazz, and of course, Björk’s enchanting voice. I won’t pretend to be a music university graduate or whatever, as I know close to nothing about what 90s music sounded like, what could have potentially influenced Björk on this album, nor will I try to give some sort of lecture about what is going on here; I’ll just cite what I enjoy and what I don’t, and why.

Debut feels authentic, it’s a finely crafted album, from its musical styles to its production to its songwriting. What spiked my interest immediately in it were the drums, and how fresh and varied they were; this is a very percussion-heavy album, the UK beats Björk implements are all about the infectious rhythms that enter your body and seem to control it, but even on tracks not so influenced by the nightclub life, the percussion is very good, in songs such as the opening Human Behaviour, with its fat bass drums, or the iconic, soothing Venus As a Boy, featuring tambourines, strong kicks, some rattle instrument, a prominent sampled echoing sound and a hint of bongos; these are all alongside various other rich instruments, violin passages that flow with the track perfectly, what sounds like xylophones peppering the track, all of this making this the best song in the album, in my opinion.

And when these instruments are not there, of course Björk herself makes up for it. Like Someone In Love is a beautiful ode to, well, love, comprised only of a harp, the singer’s eye-watering performance, and some ambient noise; it reminds me a bit too much of her cover of I Remember You, mostly because they’re both based on harps, but it is still very beautiful on its own. The Anchor Song is the emptiest on the record, closing the album up with some tension and overall introspection. It features only one verse from Björk sung two times, and like three saxophones? Definitely two at least, I’m not sure how they work, but it makes for a great, simplistic finisher (even if latter editions include Play Dead, a beautiful song, but not exactly fitting after the song before it).

Throughout the first handful of tracks, the pattern of “inward emotionally potent song sequenced by urban-life dance anthem, and back again” became apparent to me, but then broke after One Day did not transition into a dance track. Basically, my instant perception was that the record was this rollercoaster showcase of the hopeless romantic experience in a metropolitan, nocturnal city, and it may be, but if it is, it’s not as in-your-face as I initially thought. What catapulted these thoughts was the live version of There’s More To Life Than This, probably the most commercially-adept instrumental tune in the record, performed by Björk in a version purposefully awkward and weirdly personal, where she sings her second verse directly into a mic while the beat faintly plays in the background, fading further and further until the song flawlessly transitions to Like Someone In Love. It really makes you feel like your are at the Milk Bar, the night is packed, and Björk just pulls you into the bathroom and starts singing the rest of the song (for some reason); it reminded me of all those YouTube videos where the uploader takes a popular song, adds some background chatter, and soaks it all in reverb to give you the experience of listening to the song from the bathroom of a party. It is a distinct, creative way of spinning the original dance track around into something more, something that conveys this feeling of slight loneliness, even when surrounded by people, the central topic of the second song, Crying. The lyrics describe the big city, the huge crowds, but conversely the feeling of solitude and missing your loved one, or maybe even a place, it’s not explicitly told who or what Björk misses.

Romance is ever-present in Debut, through many incarnations. Big Time Sensuality, one of the most upbeat tracks here, is about a fresh romantic relationship, and the growing sensation of “something important (...) about to happen”, assumingly between Björk and whoever else. The house beat paints the scenario for this relationship as a club, by default. It brings you into this exciting nightlife, only for you to be pulled away immediately after by One Day, a track so cheerful it’s irresistible, and holding tight to the theme of romanticizing a loved one, then reaching Aeroplane in yet another beautiful transition. I have to admit this is the first song I don’t love in the album, I think it is good, and in the context of the album, definitely brings something new. What sets it apart is, this time around, the bongos are being used to their full extent, paired with birds chirping and a comfortable bass, incremented by occasional saxophone passages, this track ends up very tropical. After this, Come To Me is another passionate song, this time, Björk sings of comforting her partner and nurturing them, which naturally creates a super chill aura to the song. Accompanied by the violins and the lowkey guitars, it makes for a solid track, which in the context of the album I think eases the mood a bit too much, but is appreciated as a solid production, and closes out by bringing out the bongos once again, in a very nice outro (I should also note this is the first appearance of a real drum set on the album [I think]) (I should also also note the bassline sounds a little like early studio versions of True Love Waits by Radiohead, just some trivia).

Violently Happy right afterwards is the least interesting of the house tracks, with a mostly simple instrumental, and vocals Björk seeming to be compressed, or dowsed in some other effect. It’s not a standout in the tracklist to me, but the beauty of Debut is that the worst song is still solid as fuck. I think it’s a very consistent album, that delivers a unique and one-of-a-kind experience.

I didn’t expect this type of sound from Debut, but I was pleasantly surprised. It took me a while to like, but it definitely grew on me on with this 4 a.m. listening session I just had. I look forward to everything else I will listen to by Björk.

FAVORITE TRACKS: Venus As A Boy, Like Someone In Love, One Day, Big Time Sensuality, Human Behaviour

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Violently Happy

8.7/10

“Lately I find myself gazing at stars, hearing guitars like someone in love.”

Post

Going into Post, I was aware this would be quite different from Debut. I had listened to Army of Me and It’s Oh So Quiet before, seeing as they’re two of Björk’s biggest songs, and they obviously sound nothing like the acid house beats and soft, calming ballads in her debut, and that’s what is good about it, the sudden shift from a relatively safe musical environment to aggressive, chunky electronic production in Army of Me and Enjoy, and the absolute turnaround that is It’s Oh So Quiet.

The bold production decisions are what make this album exciting and surprising, in tracks such as I Miss You, mixing a synth-line with super loud bongos and some addictive synthesized drums, and trumpets at the end of the song, or the famous use of the Locrian mode in Army of Me, creating this menacing, dissonant melody, which perfectly fits the song and serves as an appropriate intro to the album that succeeds it. But they don’t always have to be out there to be notable and great: what I can tell from around the internet is that you can ask every single Björk fan ever what their favorite track by her is and it feels like at least a quarter will answer Hyper-ballad, and (even though I’m not nearly done with her discography) I can I say it’s with very good reason, as it is an amazingly composed song; same with Possibly Maybe, an enheartened slow jam which progresses from a cute love song about desiring to be with the one she’s flirting with, to disappointment in how they treat her, to the breakup, where she states she started wearing lipstick again, sucking her own tongue in remembrance of her once lover.

The album is very love-centered, specifically focused on the desire to be physically with someone, with how Björk mentions her love interest’s touch in plenty of tracks, such as I Miss You, a song about missing someone she apparently has never been with, where she literally asks her significant other “when will I get my cuddle?”. uwu.

(also what is this cover art lmao)

Also including this thirst for deeper contact are the songs Enjoy (“I wish I’d only look, and didn’t have to touch”, “How can I ignore? This is sex without touching?”) and Headphones (”They start off as cells that haven’t been touched before, these cells are virgins”), but the subject matter isn’t always literal and spelled out, as the tracks Isobel and Hyper-ballad seem to play with the idea of a hermit lifestyle, whether it’s at the top of a mountain or in the heart of a forest, with different meanings between the two, however. In Hyper-ballad, she’s isolated from the world alongside her lover, while in Isobel, she’s completely alone, married to herself, as she says. I enjoy the theme, but I think the vocals and instrumentation, while interesting, aren’t as good as many other examples from the album, same with the track previous to it, You’ve Been Flirting Again, which employs very faint and uniform violins under some soothing yet stagnant lyrics by Björk; it serves mostly as an interlude, I suppose, but it could go a little further, in my opinion.

To end the album, Cover Me and Headphones subdue the atmosphere by a lot. They’re very toned down, the first features some really nice windy background noise, and what I think is an oud. It’s an amazing section of the album, and from what I can gather, seems to be about her own experimentation with her music, describing a journey into what I think is this very album, a big departure from Debut for sure. It then transitions seamlessly into Headphones, which, on par with its title, is a much better experience if you are wearing headphones. The buzzing bass, Björk’s nearly ASMR vocals turning into gibberish at the end, and bubbly percussion are all super pleasing to the ears, and it continues the theme of her own musical creating process, singing how her headphones saved her life, and how nothing will ever be the same; it’s almost prophetical, and definitely one of my favorite songs here.

Post is much more colorful, daring and wild than Debut, but I don’t know if I like it better than its predecessor. I feel like Debut is obviously much more comfortable and pleasing than Post, and that even though Post has amazing tracks like Hyper-ballad, Enjoy and Possibly Maybe, as an album, I’m not really feeling it as much as the last one. The sense of cohesion in the last one, and how it used the UK beats to the best of their potentials, mixing them with much more soothing tracks and beautiful vocal performances is what attracts me to it so much. I really appreciate the direction Post took, as I don’t suppose many people were doing anything close to this in the 90s or before, and it certainly has its highlights, but I think Debut just got a tighter hold of me, and I just enjoyed it more, if looking at it from a purely superficial standpoint. The experimentation here is great, but I enjoy how fresh Debut sounds slightly more.

FAVORITE TRACKS: Hyper-ballad, I Miss You, Army of Me, Headphones, Possibly Maybe, Enjoy

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: You’ve Been Flirting Again

8.5/10

“This is really dangerous, cover me. But worth all the effort, cover me.”

Homogenic

Alright shit got real.

This is way better than the last two albums, and they were amazing to begin with. But this album is insane. It’s focused, but also so loose and free. It’s an amazing experience, and I think Björk in her most comfortable style yet. She doesn’t miss the mark in one track of this album, they’re all at the very least good.

It starts off with the delirious drum patterns and violins in Hunter, and I tell you, I haven’t seen a better streak of amazing songs in an album yet: from the intro to 5 Years, all the songs between it are fucking fantastic, and that is only broken by Immature, a track which I don’t think is supposed to be much more than an interlude anyway; then it’s right back with Alarm Call.

I really don’t think I have anything to complain about in this review apart from 5 Years and Immature. On the first listen, I thought Howie B’s version of All Is Full Of Love was inferior to the original, which I had heard and loved a while ago, but I can’t even say that, because this one is perfect as an outro. With the drums gone, the track feels like a goodbye from Björk as you slowly descent from heaven after listening to this album; plus, it comes right after Pluto, by far the most aggressive song in Homogenic, with the singer yelling over her glitchiest production yet. Then it suddenly gives way to that incredible outro. Other amazing transitions include Unravel to Bachelorette, decorated by the overlapping violins, and from 5 Years to Immature. The serene, gorgeous sound of Unravel against the energetic, cinematic Bachelorette orchestra is easily one of the best moments in the album as well.

I find that whenever I find an album really good, I have problems describing why, but I promise this time I’ll try harder than when I listened to MAGDALENE. To start, Björk’s singing and the instruments backing her have never been more in harmony with each other, mainly due to Björk’s and her producers’ focus on maintaining a homogenous sound throughout the record, as its title implies, and this style is the mix of strings and other orchestral instruments (including an accordion at some points) with the odd, sometimes glitchy (All Neon Like, 5 Years, Pluto) other times fleshed out and bulky (Hunter, Immature, Alarm Call) production of Mark Bell, Guy Sigsworth, Howie B, Markus Dravs and, of course, Björk herself. Jóga and Unravel are my favorite Björk songs so far, and the fact that they come back to back, right before Bachelorette, is still crazy to me.

Alarm Call is a beautiful song about how your music impacts the world, and just an anthem of euphoria basically, which might be a little out of place surrounded by the very specific sound the album goes for, with its bop qualities and dance rhythm, but I appreciate it a lot just for how easily Björk can pour her feelings onto a track and make it work out of seemingly nowhere. This song demands happiness from the listener, and it’s extremely difficult not to give in to its groove (“I’m no fucking Buddhist, but this is enlightenment”).

In my opinion, All Neon Like is the perfect embodiment of Homogenic’s atmosphere: it’s not as brilliantly and enormously produced as the songs before it, but it is frigid and ethereal, the lyrics are sung fairy tales, continuing the genius metaphors in Bachelorette.

It’s slightly futile for me to try and dissect Björk’s lyrics one by one, but they do stand out more than in her previous records as well, even though the focus on Homogenic is mainly in its aesthetic. 5 Years is the first song that features lyrics that point themselves against someone, a former love interest of Björk, accusing them of not being able to handle her, and while Immature’s lyrics don’t go anywhere due to them consisting of a verse repeated twice, they follow the theme of abandoning a lover, and this time, the questioning is to herself, wondering how she thought her significant other was a cure to all her personal issues. Hunter, an amazing intro to an amazing album, centers its lyrics around some of the same topics as the outro in Post (Cover Me and Headphones) which describes a voyage into the unknown that was Björk’s musical endeavors at the time, her will to go the distance to create something brand new and exciting. In this intro, she compares it to hunting and bringing the food to the table. It starts: “If travel is searching and home what’s been found, I’m not stopping”. It’s fucking brilliant man holy shit.

Now that I write this, I realize, from 5 Years onward, the songs cease to be about idolizing another person, with tracks such as Immature and Alarm Bell being introspective looks at Björk and her current feelings, and Pluto being about batshit self-change. Even All Is Full Of Love, with its first lyrics being “You’ll be given love, you’ll be taken care of”, seems to be addressing more of the ambient surrounding the person than the person themselves, as if they’re a placeholder for all the angelic ambience around the listener. Maybe the song is literally about placing the listener in this scenario, who knows.

Definitely best album I’ve heard yet, and what excites me is that people praise the next album so much, I’ve never seen someone talk much about Homogenic. I literally don’t know how Björk can top this, but I’ll see.

WORST TO BEST: 5 Years, Immature – Mark Bell’s Version, Hunter, Pluto, Alarm Call, All Neon Like, Bachelorette, All Is Full Of Love – Howie’s Version, Jóga, Unravel

Fuck it, 10/10

“I’m a path of cinders burning under your feet. You’re the one who walks me, I’m your one-way street.”

Vespertine

I am pleased.

This is insane, man. I think I’ll be a huge Björk fan after I’m finished with this discography. Vespertine is meticulous, it’s enchanting, it’s all-around wonderful. You can tell Björk and her team put incredible effort into this album, for it to sound as effortlessly beautiful as possible; not one idea or song here sounds forced, out of its element, or simply put bad. They unite to create one of the most astounding listening experiences I think I’ll ever get in my life.

Vespertine is proud, but introverted. As a sequel to Homogenic, it serves as its lighter half: where Björk described Homogenic as “confrontational”, “active” and “warrior”, Vespertine flips that upside down, and brings microbeats, music boxes and harps to the table. This is a very effective alternative to songs such as Jóga and Bachelorette, where the instrumentals and the singer seemed to try and outdo each other, creating these grand, empowering songs; in this album, they merge together into living, breathing and deeply personal lullabies. One of the most impressive talents of Björk is that she seems to take the identity of her album to heart, and mixes her unique songwriting and singing talents and her otherworldly personality into the project’s own personality, becoming an artform much greater than the sum of its parts.

Songs like Hidden Place, It’s Not Up To You and Pagan Poetry are Björk to the bone, with their more elaborate and ear-catching production, their humongous vocals, and would be comfortable if they were to be pulled from this album into another; however, deeper cuts such as Aurora, Cocoon, Undo and An Echo A Stain are the embodiment of this album’s aesthetic, its frigid atmosphere and tiny, fragile surroundings. They are like symmetrical, unique snowflakes when softer, or huge, arctic blue glistering caves when grander. They’re precise; stable, but at the same time would not work if they weren’t organized exactly how they are.

It’s easy to get too comfortable listening to Vespertine. The tracks are almost spiritual in a way, they convey an unparalleled bliss to the listener, and getting lost in the album is almost part of the experience. Especially in the second half of Vespertine, where things get real lowkey. Songs merge into each other, starting with the wonderful music box interlude Frosti into Aurora, which features one of Björk’s strongest vocal performances, proceeding to An Echo A Stain, a standout for its weird, suspenseful and eerie instrumental, evoking a dark vibe, it sounds like a deep underwater exploration into the darkest abysses of the ocean or some shit. The lyrics are also uniquely confrontational, they don’t portray the undying passion of songs before it, instead proclaiming “Don’t say no to me. You can’t say no to me. I won’t see you, denied.”. With all the vague and spacey lyrics, and the uneventful instrumental, it’s impressive this song progresses so well, mainly due to its weird, unsettling tone that sets itself apart from the rest of the songs. In a way, these odd and abstract lyrics mixed with the ethereal and bittersweet instrumentation remind me of some Radiohead songs, such as The National Anthem, How To Disappear Completely and Ful Stop, and I’m realizing this is a style of music I’m prone to liking.

Sun In My Mouth is not much of a standout topically or sonically to me, as it doesn’t do much to expand upon the sexuality of the album, with lyrics once again referring to inserting fingers into wherever, and closing with “Will I complete the mystery of my flesh?”, the themes seem to have nowhere to go. Heirloom depicts a reoccurring dream about Björk losing her voice, and having her mother and son pour a glowing oil into her mouth, which is a cute and artsy way of saying they’re her fuel for continuing with her craft, I guess. The lyrics don’t go anywhere with themselves after this though, but the instrumental is very creative and memorable, it creates a neat little bubble of involving, resonating synths.

Employing some heavy strings for Harm Of Will, Björk doubles down on the romance of the album, in a rather stripped-down song, with a few vocal highlights from her. It finds its place in the tracklist, I guess, although the oral sex line comes off a bit too strong for the smooth sentiment of the song.

To close Vespertine off, Unison, the longest song in the album, lays back on an ambient sample by Oval, and features one of Björk’s most unique vocal harmonies on its chorus; overall a nice, upbeat outro for a wonderful album.

I will say I felt more excited listening to Homogenic, as I think Vespertine’s romantic, sexual aura doesn’t expand into much after some of the many heavily sensual verses, while Homogenic wasn’t as tight and claustrophobic for me. Vespertine, however, was freer and left a bigger impact on me, It’s Not Up To You succeeded in making me cry. At the same time, none of the songs here felt like they didn’t belong, like they took away from the experience; every sound and line collaborates to make something bigger, something I don’t think I’ll get from many other albums in my lifetime.

BEST TO WORST: It’s Not Up To You, Pagan Poetry, Undo, Hidden Place, An Echo A Stain, Unison, Aurora, Heirloom, Cocoon, Harm Of Will, Frosti, Sun In My Mouth

It is a 10

“I can decide what I give, but it’s not up to me what I get given. Unthinkable surprises about to happen, but what they are, it’s not up to you.”

Medúlla

Björk’s 2004 Medúlla is, surprise surprise, an acapella album. And to further surprise, I liked it.

After Homogenic and Vespertine, I guess there was nowhere to go but towards the more experimental. You can’t really outdo those two albums in their own game, so you gotta branch out, try different things; and trying different things is exactly what Björk excels at, apparently. With Medúlla, all that wild, bombastic or serene instrumentation her previous albums were peppered with is gone, giving way to backing vocals ranging from super deep male bass to angelic choirs, beatboxing, and occasionally an isolated instrument. The album is rooted on the most primary form of music: barely any instruments, almost no effects or audio manipulations, just many voices uniting to become one; lyrics about childbirth, the human body, oceans and, of course, love.

Listening to Medúlla is interesting because it is very familiar, while also being a completely different experience from Björk’s previous albums. Songs like Who Is It and Mouth’s Cradle are unmistakably her, while at the same time being coated with an extra layer of experimentation, and with this new direction, Björk and her team are able to channel an energy that stands shoulder-to-shoulder with some of her best production. Where Is The Line? and Oceania are intricate and complex, showing just how much can be done with only the human voice. The low male vocals and beatboxing structure the songs, the choirs in the background give them depth, all the sounds link with themselves to amount to some incredible songs.

On the flipside, however, few songs fail to achieve that, in my opinion. Desired Constellation is notably bare and empty, with few aspects to its composition. The mystical lyrics that characterize Medúlla are still here, describing Björk playing routinely with stars to form whatever she desires, but apart from that, there isn’t much to experience. Mouth’s Cradle and its successor Miðvikudags are also not of much significance to the rest of the album, as they drift from its acapella compositions by employing some pleasant, but unnecessary synths as the basis of the songs. The simpler, shorter interludes that are peppered through the album are pretty much the standard sound for this record, fleshing it out with small little vocal passages and, of course, gibberish. Show Me Forgiveness, from my interpretation, is Björk apologizing to either herself or her daughter (as implied by the last line, “The girl might live”), for letting her interior voice be drowned out by the exterior; Öll Birtan is a simple buildup to the aforementioned Who Is It, but the best of the bunch are Sonnets/Unrealities XI, the poem it may not always be so; and i say by e. e. cummings over some of the best backing vocals in the album, Vökuró, where Björk sings a traditional Icelandic song in a very intimate and gorgeous moment in the album, and Ancestors, which features some passionate, odd and intriguing growls all throughout it.

It’s remarkable what Björk came up with in this album, the mystical aura surrounding it and forming its lyrics, in particular the verses in Oceania where she takes the role of the Ocean, exploring its perspective of Earth, time and the continents, Pleasure Is All Mine, which describes motherhood and childbirth for a sublime intro, and Submarine, featuring Robert Wyatt, evoking a sense of rebelliousness and urgency. Great album.

FAVORITE TRACKS: Oceania, Sonnets/Unrealities XI, Where Is The Line? Pleasure Is All Mine, Vökuró

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Mouth’s Cradle

8.8/10

“When in doubt: give”

Outro

I postponed ths review for like 2 months or something, I don’t even know. Basically, from Debut to Vespertine was probably a one-month span of time, while it took me about double that time to actually write about Medúlla, because of what I think was a depressive episode. In the meantime, I started just reviewing shit on RateYourMusic (my username is fantaguarana, if anyone cares). I thought of stopping, I had this feeling that the whole “writing about everything I listen” thing was really forced and starting to become a chore, but now that I actually got to it, I think I notice how much it helps me organize my thoughts on music, compared to just listening to an album and never really reflecting on what it really means.

I’ll probably stop writing about everything I listen to, and leave this blog for the albums that really change me as a person. Have a good day yall.

#björk #post #debut #medúlla #homogenic #vespertine #art pop #art-pop #pop #review #album #album review

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reviwblogger · 4 years

Text

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doctorocsid · 4 years

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THE MAKING OF PHOENIX WRIGHT’S SECOND DAY OFF

Or: The Immense Struggle of Trying to Make Decent Content

A good year and a half. That’s how much time passed between me starting Phoenix Wright’s Second Day Off and me uploading it to YouTube. What a hell of a load off my back that was. If you couldn’t tell, making this video was a bit of an undertaking, to say the least. And by “undertaking” I mean “an exercise in pure agony”. So, I figured I’d do a bit of a writeup here so I can get across to you the absolute hell of an experience making this video was.

PART 1: THE INITIAL PLANNING STAGES

The original “Phoenix Wright’s Day Off” was released in February 2018 to, though not a lot of views, a generally very positive response. Despite its janky animation, people seemed to enjoy it for its complete ridiculousness, comedic timing, and overly-choreographed fighting. Not to mention literally being the only Ace Attorney-themed Garry’s Mod video ever made that actually uses the Ace Attorney characters. (I’m still the only person to ever do that as of the time of writing. Woohoo.)

Given the positive reception and the fact that I literally ended the video with a “To Be Continued”, I was ready as I could ever be to start work on a sequel. The first one only took me a couple weeks to make, so surely a sequel wouldn’t take much longer, right?

Oh, how wrong I was. Still, I started planning out exactly how things would go. Throwing around ideas in my head. I needed it to be bigger and better than the original, of course. How was I gonna do that? Well, my initial plan was, uh, misguided, to say the least. What I wanted to do at first was create the sequel entirely in Source Filmmaker, along with giving it a darker, more serious tone to contrast the ridiculous slapstick of the first. Not a great idea for a sequel to a video that mainly relied on throwing ragdolls around for comedy.

https://streamable.com/taxrn

The original intro for PW2DO, based off the intro for “Fargo”. A lot less cool-looking than the final intro I made. (Even though I intended the video to be made in SFM, I made the intro in Gmod solely because I could just film myself driving the car instead of having to animate it manually.)

The final intro was done in a not too difficult fashion - the characters were animated in Garry’s Mod on top of greenscreens, which I then imported into Premiere and changed to solid colors. Added some extra video effects I found in places. Set it to an instrumental of Propane Nightmares. I’m proud of how it turned out, mostly. I won’t deny after I introduced the characters I didn’t exactly know what else to do with it, so I just filled it with some random actiony shots I thought might look cool. Incidentally, this was the only part of the final video that was made in Premiere - the rest of it was just edited together in Vegas Pro. Which crashed many times during editing. Fun.

PART 2: THE PAINS OF INDECISION (AND ALSO SOURCE FILMMAKER)

Nonetheless, I got to work, despite not actually knowing how to use Source Filmmaker. “I’ll figure it out as I go along,” I figured. And over time, more or less, I managed to figure it out. Sort of. And by “figure it out” I mean “become subject to the true hell that is SFM”.

Let me give you some quick background here. SFM has two main editors for animation: The “motion editor”, and the “graph editor”. The motion editor uses a relatively easy-to-understand method of animating: you select an object you want to animate (a prop, weapon, ragdoll, etc), select the span of time in which you want the thing to move to its new destination, and then you move it to the new destination. Sounds simplistic, but can be used extensively to create good-looking animation. (I myself used this method for the bar fight in PW2DO.) The graph editor on the other hand, is much more involved, depending on the tried-and-true method of using keyframes for animation. Some people prefer this one because it allows you to directly edit and fine-tune each little animation curve to your liking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUXnpk8xDLg

This unfinished PW2DO prototype was animated entirely with the graph editor in SFM.

Really, you can use either one for animating, whichever suits you best. For me, personally, the graph editor feels like something designed in the seventh circle of hell specifically to torture me. Why does adding a new keyframe screw up all my preexisting animation? Why does adding a new keyframe make the ragdoll’s bones stretch out to infinity? Those are just a couple questions I shouted at my computer screen while trying to figure it out.

Eventually, I just gave up. I came to terms both with the fact that I wasn’t satisfied with what I was making, and with the fact that trying to use SFM’s graph editor to animate was making me want to julienne my keyboard. (I hadn’t figured out, or really even considered the motion editor at the time.) “Screw it,” I said to myself. “I’ll do in Gmod, like the last one.”

PART 3: OH RIGHT, GMOD SUCKS TOO

The first PWDO was relatively simple to make, at least compared to the second one. There were two main tools I used: Stop Motion Helper (a tool for animating stuff within Gmod itself without the need for actual stop motion or whatnot), and the classic technique of “throw stuff around in front of the camera”. I had little to no experience doing 3D animation when making it, but it worked out anyway. It let me practice some camera framing stuff, too. All I was really doing for most of it was animating the characters moving along with the camera. But for the second video, I desperately wanted to up the ante. I wanted it to be cooler. More edgy. More cinematic. Turns out, there’s one main reason that proved difficult for me. And that’s that Garry’s Mod kinda sucks for long-term animation.

Here’s the difference between animating in SFM and animating in GMod. SFM is made for animation. GMod isn’t. So, if you want animating in GMod to be anything less than horrendously tedious, you need some addons to help you. Stop Motion Helper is a neat little addon that lets you animate stuff in Garry’s Mod with the “tweening” type of animation. Simply put, you pose something in point A, make a keyframe, move it to point B, and then make another keyframe. Stop Motion Helper will then automatically animate it moving between the two points. Thus, instead of the stop motion method where you have to pose every individual frame, you technically only have to pose the beginning and end. Not that it looks very good if you only do that. Of course, like any kind of animation, it’s still something that requires a lot of effort if you don’t want it to look cheap and robotic. But it works. Sort of.

Doesn’t work too well with vehicles, though.

There were a multitude of small limitations and annoyances, however, that proved to be annoying to deal with in GMod nonetheless.

FIRST PROBLEM: Because GMod isn’t made specifically for animation, resuming a project within it is kind of a hellish endeavor at times. Unlike Source Filmmaker where you can just open a project file and everything remains the same, Garry’s Mod’s saving tool doesn’t save a lot of the addon-related data when you create a save file of whatever scenario you’ve made. That includes stop motion helper animation. While SMH does have its own support for saving animations, you have to save every single animation as its own separate file. Take the scene in PW2DO, for instance, where Phoenix shoots those cops to get the security footage.

https://streamable.com/2ikd1

There are seven moving parts in this scene - Phoenix, the picture frame, both cops, the gun, the shampoo bottle, and the camera. Note how many of these are moving in each camera shot along with how many shots there are (ignoring after the cop goes out the window, because that’s not done with SMH). That’s ten shots, if you didn’t want to count. If I wanted to save this whole scene for potential later tweaking, I’d have to make a save file for the session along with saving the animation data for all ten shots - that’s ten separate animation files for this one scene - and then I would have to manually reapply the animation to each individual moving element.

On top of that, not everything can be saved at all just by sheer concept. The muzzle flash, for instance. While the flash graphic over the gun was added in post, the actual light emanating from it was something I had to do in-game, and it’s not something you can animate with SMH. Therefore, I had to play the animation in GMod, and then specifically time me hitting a button on my keyboard to make the flash happen at just the right point. That’s just one workaround in a program that, when animating in it, is like 80% workarounds.

But nothing about Garry’s Mod frustrated me quite as much as the final fight scene.

PART 4: THE BAR FIGHT

The final fight scene of PW2DO was the one thing that kept me from releasing the video sooner. Seriously, out of that year and a half or so, I’d say only a month or so was spent working on the GMod portions of the video. The rest was just that stupid, godforsaken fight scene. (And mostly procrastinating on making it.) Allow me to try and outline to you what I went through doing this.

Now, the fight scene went through three specific incarnations. They were all based around Maya and Athena tracking down Phoenix and beating the crap out of him, it just differed on two basic things: the location, and the fight music. The first idea I had was them fighting Phoenix in an alleyway while ABBA’s “Waterloo” played in the background. (i know that sounds silly but i swear i couldve made it work) That one didn’t get beyond planning stages - I’d kinda choreographed some of it in my head, I know Phoenix was supposed to get a crowbar at some point, but it didn’t get any farther than that.

The second incarnation was much more well-developed. The way I figured it was as such: Phoenix, after retrieving the security footage from his office, would go on the run and get on a bus. However, when he got on the bus, it’d be revealed that Athena was driving it, and Phoenix would fight Maya as they went down the road. (No comment on how Maya and Athena got a bus.) This was gonna be set to “Let’s Go Crazy” by Prince, inspired by the opening car chase scene from Kingsman: The Golden Circle. (Meh movie, neat fight scenes.) Eventually they’d crash the bus, all go flying out the window, and then Phoenix would get arrested by the cops as he did in the final video. Sounds neat, right? So, what stopped me from doing this?

jesus christ so many things

Everything wrong with this concept centered around one particular problem. I absolutely could not, for the life of me, figure out how to animate a fight scene in a bus that was moving down the road. In SFM that might’ve been possible, but in Garry’s Mod? Good luck with that one. I practically tore my hair out trying to come up with a single working solution to this. Allow me to present to you the various ideas I had and why they all failed miserably.

IDEA 1: Animate the bus moving and the characters moving in it at the same time

This was the fastest-thrown-out idea because the complexity of something like this was just too much for Gmod and an animation addon. What’s that? You want to be able to stay with the scene as it animates? No, that’s basically impossible to do. It’s not like SFM where you could just attach yourself and a camera to the moving vehicle and animate from there. It just wasn’t feasible.

IDEA 2: Create moving textures and place them outside the windows to give the illusion of movement

This one went out the window too, unfortunately, as rotating the camera to any degree kinda just seriously killed the illusion. I could’ve done the scene without the cool cinematic fighting camera movements, but… is it really Phoenix Wright’s Day Off without those?

IDEA 3: Create a 3d video of going down the street in GMOD and paste it onto a greenscreen outside the bus, and animate it rotating properly in Premiere

I don’t blame you if you don’t understand what the hell I’m talking about. See, miraculously enough, there is actually an addon for GMod that allows you to record 360 degree videos within it - and after a decent amount of finicking around with it, I actually managed to make one that seemed to work fine. It was from this point I actually set out and started making the scene - I got about ten seconds in, mostly comprised of driving shots, a neat easter egg with Homestar Runner (not something i’d do nowadays tbh) and a single shot of Phoenix beating on Maya. I was all set to get going.

And then Premiere just refused to work with the 360 video. Don’t get me wrong, I was able to animate it rotating and stuff, but it wouldn’t let me do this at the same time as the normal 2D video that was meant to be pasted on top of it. It frankly just. Wouldn’t let me. And after a lot of struggling, I just. Gave up. That ten seconds of video, trashed.

https://streamable.com/4omnep

I did manage to re-piece it together from the old files on my drive, though. With mostly missing sound effects.

So, that was scrapped. I wasn’t doing the bus fight. What, then, would work out better than a fight scene based off the first fight scene of Golden Circle? Apparently, my mind decided that would be the last fight scene of Golden Circle. Cool.

Thankfully, things went a lot smoother there, but it wasn’t without hiccups. Now, if you’ve seen Phoenix Wright’s Second Day Off - I don’t know why you’re reading this if you haven’t - there’s a chance you might’ve found the music choice for the bar fight scene a bit odd. If you’re not aware, it’s a cover of the 1986 Cameo song “Word Up”, by a German country band called The Bosshoss. This is the song they used in the movie so you’re not allowed to question me on this.

Given how western-y the song sounds, though, I had to at least make the context fit. Despite that, I couldn’t really find any GMod maps that had a good enough bar interior for a while - and I really wanted it to be a bar fight. Bar fights are cool. Thankfully, I did eventually manage to find one. This one, in particular: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=806759276&searchtext=

Yes, that’s a My Little Pony based map. I worked with what I had, okay? That was the least of the issues, anyway. By this point I’d had enough of trying to animate with GMod, and as such I’d decided to move back to SFM, but that caused a whole new issue. This map wasn’t made for SFM. And opening it in SFM just. Crashed. I won’t go super into detail of how I fixed this, but essentially I had to download a program called BSPSource so I could decompile the map, re-open it in Hammer, and export it to properly work with SFM.

Still left me with some annoying issues though, as you can see. Not too difficult fixes, though - The first one I just covered up with another corkboard, and the second thing was fixed by typing mat_specular 0 in console. Was a bit annoying that I had to do that every time I reopened SFM, but whatever. It was working, at least. (that’s something you’ll think to yourself a lot if you ever get into using SFM.)

Anyway, things went pretty okay from this point on. You know, aside from me proceeding to barely ever work on the thing for like a year and a half. I didn’t have many hardships during it other than my own procrastination, so instead take a look at some of the funny tricks I pulled to get this scene to go the way I wanted.

https://gfycat.com/OldfashionedForkedFlatcoatretriever

Engineer telekinetically swooces his shotgun back to himself.

https://gfycat.com/SleepyShadowyLadybird

I had to make Phoenix hover over Engie to let his arms reach him without his legs obscuring the camera.

https://gfycat.com/AptHomelyGoral

The rope was way too short to reach the soldier, so I had to have Phoenix basically throw the rope in order to reach his gun. I also forgot to detach the rope from his hand afterward, so it kinda gets flung around with it off-camera.

https://gfycat.com/AgonizingScrawnyAbalone

Phoenix apparently decided for himself he wanted to go out the window.

Aside from all that, though, things finally went okay. Eventually. I managed to finish up the animation, add some extra ending stuff in GMod, and do a neat credits sequence to David Bowie music. All in all, it went okay.

And that’s it. After all that waiting, I finally managed to put an 8 minute video out from one and a half years of it not being finished. It was quite a load off my mind, for sure, and to this day it stands as my proudest video. It’s silly, has its down moments, but I can at least confidently say it’s the best Ace Attorney gmod video. If only because there is basically no competition.

So, what’s in store next? Not much of anything as far as I feel right now. I could make a third one, one day - I did envision it as a trilogy - but although I do have some ideas for it, I still have zero motivation to actually make it. So who knows. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe Phoenix Wright will escape from prison one day.

So, this was the experience of making Phoenix Wright’s Second Day Off. I hope this gave you something of an idea on how agonizing this video was to make, and totally means you should go and share it everywhere to get me more views because I DESERVE it after the hell I went through.

Seriously, though, thanks for reading, and may this post serve as a warning if you ever decide to do Garry’s Mod or SFM videos. Not a warning against it, mind you, you can make some totally cool stuff. Just be prepared to suffer a bit in the process.

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rktingyan-blog · 5 years

Text

the video starts off quiet, the only thing in sight being tingyan's desk, the camera picking up fragments of the decorations around her apartment. in walks the girl, waving a small hi to the camera. the whole thing looks authentic, but tingyan's been practicing this intro for nearly an hour. she was a meticulous kind of natural, someone who attempted to look effortless, but spent hours making sure things looked perfect. she's even tried a new makeup look today - something a little lighter than what she was used to; faint raspberry eyeshadow and a lip tint accenting her features. the biggest difference, though? there's one thing she couldn't perfect, however - her nerves. she had to admit, she was certainly a little apprehensive to perform a skill she wasn't all that confident in for the cameras. but, it'd be good for practice and she's happy with what she'd came up with. so, letting out a sigh, she turns into the tingyan most know her as and beamed at the camera. "hi everyone! tingan here, today i'll be performing an...interesting rendition of she's a baby! i hope you all enjoy."

disclaimer!! two things - first off, i haven't made a youtube graphic for tingyan yet but you can assume this would be one of her videos after it's created! second, i made the new lyrics, and they are in english, korean, and chinese. while i'm fluent in the first and studying the second, i have very little practice in chinese and still struggle with korean, so there's bound to be a lot of mistakes!! of course, luckily tingyan isn't fluent in korean so that helps with the narrative, but some things may not work or look funny if you do know the languages! you can also assume subtitles were put in the same fashion the lyrics are shown in this solo! this was more for fun than anything, and in no way do i claim them to be perfect! i don't even know if anyone's gonna read this, but, just to be sure lol!! anyways, sorry for the interruption, and enjoy!~

readying herself, she approached further to the microphone, which she'd bought with her own paycheck in preparation for this and future videos. "so, to be honest this is a little different..." she started, staring off to the side where the lyrics lie. "basically, i'll be doing a remix! but not in the way you'd expect. i'm going to do a song to the tune of she's a baby, but i'm using my own lyrics in korean, english, and chinese." nerves are evident in her face, not knowing quite what people would think of it. she still wasn't as confident in english and korean as she'd like to be, but saw this as her chance to practice and experiment with pronunciation. and if that didn't work? she could say she was working on improving her singing.

"all right...i'll start now! fighting," she announces, clasping her hands together as she decides on jumping right into it rather than waiting. she had vowed to give the song a different twist - and this was about as different as it got. closing her eyes, she allowed the track to start, and began to sing along.

믿을 수가 없어 난생처음인 걸 이만큼 쏟아부었던 적 퉁명스러운 말투 숨겨놓은 그 마음을 도전들으로 눈치챘어

the lyrics don't seem to be so different yet, the only phrase replaced being "just one challenge" than "just one kiss". romance just didn't fit into the equation for these lyrics. the words spoken are true to her heart however, and just as the song implies, she's found it difficult to gather the courage to write such personal lyrics. the song itself, though in third person, was a direct relation to her life. however, she felt that by speaking from an outside perspective it'd be easier to share with others and that it wouldn't feel quite as pitiful to sing as she felt writing it.

행복해, 불안해? 그녀는 혼란스럽다 all day It’s 오케이, she’ll be 오케이 그녀는 강한 소녀해

the first words are spoken with exaggerated confusion, tingyan putting her aegyo to work with some puzzled looks, followed by a laugh of embarrassment. consequently, her voice falters at the second verse, but steadies once she's gained her composure. the lyrics "she'll be okay" and "she's a strong girl" are more of a hopeful assurance to herself than anything, and it shows in the way tingyan nods along to the song, her hands to her heart. they show that, although she has doubts, she's still sure of herself and the fact that things will be alright.

(정말) she’s a baby 아주 예쁜 애기 말씀하시면 she’ll say “안돼요!” 그렇지-그렇지 그렇지만 그녀는 상냥해 비밀이에요 (shh)

the chorus is where she really starts to have fun, beaming as she begins to sway with the beat. at the first line she points to herself, showing off a childish grin before moving on. at the second line, it's a bit of flattery to herself, evident in the way she teasingly flips her hair at the self-directed compliment. at the third, however she wrinkles her nose at “안돼요!”, waving off the camera as if proving her denial of the former statement. she's having a lot more fun than she's expected, really letting loose instead of being so concerned with her appearance as she usually is. it's surprising, especially since people might judge her the most on a platform like this. but in the moment she's herself, which is essential for a personal song such as this, and may be the reason she decided to upload this version opposed to the more structured one she'd prepared. at the last line, she puts her fingers over her lips, eyebrow upturned as she flashes a mischevious grin to the screen. classic tingyan.

라타타타, 라타타타 라타타타, 라타타타 라타타타, 라타타타

the melody is spent causally, preparing herself for the upcoming rap. she wasn't ready in the slightest. singing was one thing - though she wasn't the best in it, she was fairly average and felt she could do well for the video. rapping, however? she'd struggle through it.

애기 이름은 팅기안이 많은 매력 is her specialty 我是中国人我来自上海但我说 “你好, 안녕하세요, hi!”

surprisingly, the verse goes well, putting her chin in the v her hands had formed below her when her name is announced. the second verse is a little difficult to spit out with the rhythm of the song given the difficulty of the english pronunciation, and though she falters a bit she uses her charms the song describes to make up for her hiccups. she recovers quickly when the lyrics unexpectedly revert to her native tongue, the chinese rolling off her lips much more naturally and proving it to be her most relaxed language spoken. the mention of shanghai causes her to grin, cupping her hands over her mouth as if she's yelling to all her friends still there. speaking the language of home, she pauses for a moment, a brief second of nostalgia washing over her before she travels to the next verse. truthfully, tingyan wondered who would be watching - if her friends from home would see this, or the dreaded idea of her mother judging her through the lens. she has to wash those negative thoughts away, however, and quickly she starts switching from chinese, to korean, to english. the line is meant to show her duality, and she feels it works, the girl not able to help but let out a small celebratory yes! after she's successfully completed the sentence.

야 tingyan babe, 오늘 뭐해? 찡그려 친구 없어, 어떻게요? 울지 마-세, 서울’s 오케이! 시간이 걸립니다 babe

since the song's aimed at her, she speaks the first verse to the side of her as if she's another individual talking to herself informally. her tongue gets tied at the second line, however, the phrases sounding so similar she has difficulty articulating them properly. these lines are spoken with sincerity, the lines still applying to her nowadays as she'd faced new difficulties in seoul. at the last part, 시간이 걸립니다, she has a hint of uncertainty, as if the saying is something she'd like to believe but isn't too sure of anymore. things take time, of course, but it's been two years and tingyan still feels completely lost. but once again, there's no time for moping, because another line is just seconds away.

she’s a baby 아주 예쁜 애기 나 보살핌을 원해 all day “help me! help me!” 말하고 싶어 나는 못해, yeah

tingyan decided to skip two verses of the song, in an effort to both keep the video short and limit the amount of struggling she'd have to do when writing. the last verse brings the viewers to the end of the song, the familiar ring of the chorus back in swing. the words change at the last three lines, however, the confession of the third certainly shocking, even to tingyan. the female wasn't one to express her emotions, or innermost needs, so for her to admit she needed care it was clear the song meant a lot to her. it felt easier, though, with the 3rd person dialogue being on her sided, but once she reaches the end she has to face the reality. "help me! help me!" she sings, a hint of humor in her voice as she mimics a damsel in distress. but the humor soon leaves at the last line, the one she'd chosen to write in first person. saying "i want to say [help me] but i can't" makes her feel like the wind is taken out of her, just as the audio comes to a stop. for a minute, tingyan stays still, blowing air out as she grasps that she really did that. of course, that portion is edited out, and the next thing viewers see is the smiling girl bowing to the camera. "thank you for watching my video! please support my future ones, and tell me what you'd think...down below!" she points down, to where she's edited in the words comment, please! in chinese, english, and korean. "and don't forget to like!" then, a gif of ryan from kakao displaying hearts appears to the side of her face, edited in afterward. "until then, tingle tingle little stars, goodnight!" the outro's awfully cheesy and she has a feeling she'll change it later, but regardless, she laughs it off and waves one last time before the screen fades to black.

#❝ solos. ❞#rkcreativity #this took me way too long uGH #wc:1758

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kobemoorfestivals · 6 years

Video

youtube

Final Podcast Outcome

Evaluation:

Here is my final podcast with trailer.

(Note: If you cannot see the video or YouTube link, the podcast can be found on YouTube at "Kobrandom" I'll also put a link at the bottom of this post.)

The podcast overall went well. The audio gathered was balanced pretty well, there were nearly no moments of silence and Zak and I had a quite good chemistry as we new the topic we were speaking of. I captured the audio using the professional microphones, mixer and software within the radio room of the college. Using all that I learned over the past few weeks, I was able to do this without any assistance or extra help and I feel the final product was a success.

Before I began recording however, I created two separate but similar podcast sheets explaining the basis of what I wanted to talk about, possible questions I could ask, the expected length of the podcast, podcast name ideas and other things. I also filled out an "Outline for my podcast" sheet found via the internet, to finite the details of what I wanted with my podcast. Below is an image of that sheet:

Furthermore, after I had captured and exported the audio. I began to edit it on my laptop using premiere pro. I used Premiere primarily because I am the most efficient on it than other editing software. In retrospect, It may have been better to use audio editing software like Audacity. Nevertheless, I was able to edit my audio fine on premiere. There was only a single word I had to edit out, despite being inoffensive, it was not appropriate for college. I used the basic cutting tool to do this and made sure It was unnoticeable.

After cutting and manipulating the audio to a standard I was happy with. I started to work on my podcast logo of which I planned to have in the centre of the screen. I used Photoshop CS6 as always and began by creating a document designed for web purposes. This was a setting you could select when creating a new Photoshop file. With the document created, I changed the background to black using the quick command 'alt + backspace' however I had to also make sure my primary colour was set to black and not white.

With the canvas now black. I selected the 'Type tool' found on the left hand tool menu or by simply pressing 'T' for Type/Text. I then began to type out the text required. Which was 'The Isometric Podcast' the word 'The' was typed on a separate layer however. When typing I made sure the colour was set to white, and the font was set to 'Digital Tech' previously used in another aspect of my project. Found on Dafont.

After typing the text I made sure to centre it, with the word 'The' above the main text to the left a little. Once positioned, I then created a red box using the square shape tool. I made sure the colour was set to red and not white or black and moved it so the 'Isometric Podcast' text would be in the centre of the box, with 'The' on the red outline of the box. As the red square I just created was solid red, I changed the fill to about 0% to just keep the outline. Then went into the properties of the box and added a 'Stroke' to make the outline thicker and more noticeable. Finally as I did not want 'The' to be on a red outline, I selected the eraser tool and holding shift I erased the parts of the outline I did not want.

Now with the basic logo made, of which I thought looked much better than the first iteration I made and showed in a prior post, I then deleted the black background. Of which was mainly there as a template so I could see what my logo would look like on a black backdrop. And saved the file as a PNG as opposed to a JPEG.

With the logo made and saved, I imported it into my premiere pro project, Where I then started to play with different effects in an attempt to make an intro. Before adding any effects, I created an Adjustment layer. Similar to last time. With an Adjustment Layer created, I put it on my timeline. I mainly used the 'Ripple' effect similar to my trailer as it created a nice wave effect. I of course had to tamper with several settings to get it as I wanted. As well as adding effects, I used key frame to animate the logo. I use the small stopwatch next to position and moved the logo out of frame. This is so when the intro is done, the logo would move from the screen. Now, after finalizing my intro's animation and effects, I started to look for appropriate music.

Originally, I was going to create my own track. However I didn't have enough access to the software and wasn't very familiar with making music. With the time restraints also it wouldn't have been possible. Or at least I wouldn't have been happy with anything I could've made.

Nonetheless, I used the same website I got the music for my trailer 'Free Music Archive' and I input the tag 'Gaming' to try and find all game related tunes. I came across a few, but the one I decided to go for was called "Epic Champ" by L'homme Manete.

Moving forward, after making the quick intro sequence, I started to work on the main podcast. For the visuals, I had the same logo centred but static with a brick wall background of which I found online. I changed the opacity of the wall backdrop to around 80% as I felt it looked cleaner when it was slightly darkened. I also used a faint cloud effect to add some atmosphere to the podcast visual. The cloud effect was a sapphire plugin. This means that It wasn't apart of Premiere pro originally. So, as the podcast revolves around video games, I input some gameplay of a major game 'Apex Legends' this is because we talk about it within the podcast and because it's the number one trending game currently. I captured the gameplay via my PlayStation.

In conclusion, I feel that my podcast was a marginal success. The audio was near on perfect, the conversation had a nice flow, I had next to no issues when editing besides it taking time and I was able to successfully upload onto YouTube.

YouTube link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8-B8E5tbik

#Festival

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ohimaginethat · 7 years

Text

Hush Your Mouth/I’ll Be Home For Christmas (southern!reader x Ethan Nestor)

As per request from an anonymous reader, this is an imagine in which the reader/you are southern and Ethan teases you about your accent nearly every day, except this time it’s when you’re recording a cover of Bing Crosby’s “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” (another request from a different anon) and the fans cannot get over how adorkable the entire thing is. (Final note before I go: I’m sorry to whoever requested the southern half; I’m not very fluent in southern lingo, other than the kind of stuff that you hear in a central Illinois-an high school!)

Ethan looks at you and Andrew from where he stands behind the camera. “You guys ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you say, whilst Andrew nods. Ethan then hits record and takes his place on the couch next to you.

You hear the piano begin to play the first couple of chords. Seconds later, Ethan begins singing. “I’ll be home for Christmas... You can count on me... Please have snow... And mistletoe... And presents under the tree...”

His smooth voice resonated through the small living room, leaving a bit of an echo just as you started, “Christmas Eve will find me... Where the lovelight gleams...” You continue on with your verses as you turn your head slowly to look at your boyfriend. He’s staring at you with a look mixed with adoration and amazement, which was, while incredibly sweet, distracting for him, so you nudge him a little with a smile, reminding him that he was to join you soon.

In absolute harmony and unison, the two of you finish the Christmas tune and Ethan finally looks away from you to address the viewers. “Hey, guys! What’s up? So, uh... Me, my beautiful girlfriend Y/N, and my brother over there, Andrew decided to make a little cover for you guys. And, since he’s in town for a little bit, we are working on something kinda cool, and decided to give you a little bit of a teaser with this...” He speaks for a few minutes longer and, while you were still listening for the most part, you’d just kind of zoned out, waiting for his intro.

You then hear your name being spoken and you perk up a bit. “And, as wonderful as my brother was at accompanying me on piano, Y/N’s voice is phenomenal! I mean, come on, why did you keep that a secret for so long?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I answer, a sly smile creeping it’s way onto my face.

“I’m sorry, couldn’t quite understand that... What’d you say?”

“I said, I don’t know---”

“Still can’t catch what you’re saying,” the brown-haired boy interrupts, “Maybe a smidge louder this time?”

“Ethan Nestor, I swear if you don’t hush your mouth right now...”

He then starts talking over you, his grin widening at least three more inches, which you didn’t even know was possible, “You see, everyone, Y/N has this southern accent that makes it difficult to figure out what she’s saying half of the time because she talks so fa---” Ethan stops his own sentence for a second so he could gather enough strength to pin your back to the cough using only his right arm. Technically, it worked, but you weren’t one to admit defeat so easily, and despite your laughter, continued to writhe, yell profanities at him, and try to wiggle out of his grasp.

“Andrew!” you call, Ethan now tickling you, “A little help please?”

He shrugs his shoulders a little, and stands up from where he’s seated to grab Ethan by the waist, pulling him off of you with ease. “Have you missed me, Ethan?” Andrew taunts, setting his scrawny younger brother on his lap and restraining his arms with a tight “hug” from behind.

“No. Now let me go!” he yells, “I need to go give Y/N a little smoochy-smooch so she forgives me.”

You poke your head out from your hiding place---behind the arm of the couch---and shake your head, “Uh-uh. Andrew’s my favorite Nestor now; there’s no way you’re getting near me after this.”

It was then that an idea struck you. You begin mimicking Ethan’s speech from earlier with a few... Minor changes. “You see, everyone, Mr. Ethan here is a bit too big for his britches 99% of the time and thinks it’s funny to tease me because of my accent. Of course, he hasn’t learned his lesson to not mess with a southern girl yet, but he’s sure as h*ll about to.”

You turn to Ethan with a glare, and then face the camera one last time with the sweetest smile you’d ever given in your life... It was time. “Thank you all so much for watching. If you did slap that like button right in the face. And I will see you guys in the next video. Love you all, stay cranky,” you give one final evil glance to your boyfriend who had nothing but absolute fear in his eyes, and then you force your voice to move up a good three octaves, “Bye!”

You and Andrew both wave to the camera. After that was over with, you march over to the expensive equipment and shut it all off, but not before retrieving your phone from the side table to take a picture of the brothers, captioning it on Instagram “Two peas in a pod!”

**the next day**

You were nervous. Ethan was finally finished editing the cover, and he’d just uploaded it. It was the first video the two of you did together and you were scared of the fan’s reactions. Your boyfriend spent the next couple of hours reassuring you that everything was wonderful and that you had nothing to worry about.

He, of course, was absolutely right. Everyone, except for a few Negative Nancy’s, absolutely loved the two of you together and seemed to find the ending hilarious. You kept getting tagged in Tweets from friends with poorly timed screenshots and beautiful fan art of you holding Ethan in different wrestling positions (your favorite being one of you putting him in a headlock)---It made both of you laugh for hours and forget about the “argument” had the day previous.

#ethan #ethan nestor #crankgameplays #ethan nestor imagine #ethan nestor x reader #ethan nestor x southern!reader #andrew nestor #crankgameplays imagine #crankgameplays x reader #cover #tickle war #crankgameplays x southern!reader #teamiplier imagines #I'll Be Home for Christmas #music #singing

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jafreitag · 4 years

Text

31 Days of Dead 2020 | Project Wrap-Up & Links

I want to take the opportunity to express my thanks to all of you for following this year’s edition of the Unofficial 31 Days of Dead and for all of the messages and kind words that you have sent me. It was a fun ride and we covered a lot of ground. Here are some quick stats:

31 Days 70 Songs 26 Different years represented 8 hours, 35 minutes of music

1.16 GB of music

11 Years doing these projects

As in past years, I have provided a full track listing and zipped and uploaded all of the mp3 files so that you can download for your future listening pleasure.

WHAT WERE YOUR FAVORITE TRACKS???? I would love to hear what your favorites were this year. Some of you have reached out already and I truly appreciate it. I’m always curious what you liked and what you didn’t like so that I can make improvements in the future.

THANK YOU!! These projects are a big undertaking and there is no way I could do it all on my own. I want to take this opportunity to recognize two key people who helped out. First, a big thank you to Brian Levine who has been providing the artwork since I started doing these projects in 2010. Each year his artwork gets better. He obviously takes our tagline very seriously – “When they go high, we go higher.”

I also owe a huge debt of gratitude to my long-time friend, Jason Freitag, who hosts these projects on his blog, Liner Notes Music Blog. The blog provides an online home where you can reference these projects anytime you want. Also, if you like the 31 Days887 of Dead then you should be sure to check out “Grateful Dead Monthly” which is a fun side project that J and I collaborate on each month that features a GD show on the anniversary of that particular show. So, if you are not already following Liner Notes Music Blog, then I urge you to do so. Not only can you get your Grateful Dead fix but there are articles and playlists that cover the musical spectrum from Jazz to Indie. Link is below.

Liner Notes Music Blog: https://linernotesmusicblog.wordpress.com/

CONTACT: Please forward any requests or comments to me at [email protected].

If you are having 31 Days withdrawal then you can get your fix by following me on Instagram @31daysofdead.

Wishing you much health, peace, love and lots of music in the New Year!

2020 Track Listing

1. Technical Difficulties (4.15.70 – Winterland Arena • San Francisco, CA)

2. Help on the Way > Slipknot! > Franklin’s Tower (8.4.76 – Roosevelt Stadium • Jersey City, NJ)

3. Box of Rain (9.17.70 – Fillmore East • New York, NY)

4. New Speedway Boogie (5.1.70 – Alfred College • Alfred, NY)

5. Comes A Time (10.26.85 – Sun Dome, Univ. of South Florida • Tampa, FL)

6. Lost Sailor > Saint Jam > Saint Of Circumstance > Estimated Jam (12.11.79 – Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Hall • Kansas City, KS)

7. Eyes Of The World > The Music Never Stopped (10.15.76 – Shrine Auditorium • Los Angeles, CA)

8. He’s Gone (7.2.89 – Sullivan Stadium • Foxboro, MA)

9. Goin’ Down the Road Feeling Bad (4.28.80 – Boutwell Auditorium • Birmingham, AL)

10. Revolution (10.12.83 – Madison Square Garden • New York, NY)

11. Bird Song (9.25.80 – Warfield Theater • San Francisco, CA)

12. Turn On Your Lovelight (with Janis Joplin; 7.16.70 – Euphoria Ballroom • San Rafael, CA)

13. Foxy Lady Jam (4.21.69 – The Ark • Boston, MA)

14. Jack Straw (4.22.79 – Spartan Stadium • San Jose, CA)

15. Dear Mr. Fantasy > Hey Jude > Dear Mr. Fantasy > Truckin’ (9.7.85 – Red Rocks Amphitheatre • Morrison, CO)

16. The Weight (7.23.90 – World Music Theatre • Tinley Park, IL)

17. Band Introduction > Feel Like A Stranger (9.14.90 – Madison Square Garden • New York, NY)

18. Take A Step Back (7.12.87 – Giants Stadium • East Rutherford, NJ)

19. Band Introduction > Bertha (10.19.71 – Northrop Auditorium, Univ. of Minnesota • Minneapolis, MN)

20. Beat It On Down The Line (10.27.73 – State Fair Coliseum • Indianapolis, IN)

21. One More Saturday Night (2.17.79 – Oakland Coliseum Arena • Oakland, CA)

22. Brokedown Palace (6.21.80 – West High Auditorium • Anchorage, AK)

23. Victim or the Crime (12.31.89 – Oakland Colisum Arena • Oakland, CA)

24. Space > U.S. Blues (9.15.85 – Devore Field, Southwestern U • Chula Vista, CA)

25. (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction (9.5.82 – US Festival @ Glen Helen Regional Park • San Bernardino, CA)

26. Rockin’ Pneumonia & The Boogie Woogie Flu (9.3.72 – Folsom Field, U. of Colorado • Boulder, CO)

27. Corrina (7.9.95 – Soldier Field • Chicago, IL)

28. Drums > Scarlet Begonias > Fire on the Mountain (6.12.80 – Memorial Coliseum • Portland, OR)

29. Phil’s Earthquake Space (4.18.82 – Civic Center • Hartford, CT)

30. It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue (12.31.84 – San Francisco Civic Auditorium • San Francisco, CA)

31. Man Smart (Woman Smarter) (12.31.85 – Oakland Coliseum Arena • Oakland, CA)

32. Kansas City (10.28.85 – Fox Theatre • Atlanta, GA)

33. Stealin’ (7.17.66 – Fillmore Auditorium • San Francisco, CA)

34. Pigpen Speaks (5.2.70 – Harpur College, SUNY • Binghamton, NY)

35. I’m A King Bee (12.8.93 – Los Angeles Sports Arena • Los Angeles, CA)

36. Stage Banter > Dire Wolf (1.31.70 – The Warehouse • New Orleans, LA)

37. Black Peter (12.3.81 – Dane County Coliseum • Madison, WI)

38. Let It Grow (5.1.81 – Hampton Coliseum • Hampton, VA)

39. Morning Dew (9.11.73 – College of William & Mary • Williamsburg, VA)

40. Bill Graham Intro (2.24.74 – Winterland Arena • San Francisco, CA)

41. Dancin’ In The Streets (5.6.70 – Kresge Plaza, M.I.T. • Cambridge, MA)

42. What’s Going On? (9.24.88 – Madison Square Garden • New York, NY)

43. Wavy Gravy Chatter > China Cat Sunflower > I Know You Rider (2.9.73 – Roscoe Maples Pavilion, Stanford University • Palo Alto, CA)

44. Introduction (12.6.80 – Recreation Center • Mill Valley, CA)

45. Cassidy (12.6.80 – Recreation Center • Mill Valley, CA)

46. Bird Song (12.6.80 – Recreation Center • Mill Valley, CA)

47. Ripple (12.6.80 – Recreation Center • Mill Valley, CA)

48. It’s Weird Up Here (2.27.69 – Fillmore West • San Francisco, CA)

49. Dark Star > Kesey’s Eulogy Jam (10.31.91 – Oakland Coliseum Arena • Oakland, CA)

50. The Wheel > I Need A Miracle > Uncle John’s Band (7.4.86 – Rich Stadium • Orchard Park, NY)

51. Space With Tripping Chick & Banjo Lessons (10.17.78 – Winterland Arena • San Francisco, CA)

52. If I Had The World To Give (11.20.78 – Cleveland Music Hall • Cleveland, OH)

53. Jingle Bells Tuning (12.27.81 – Oakland Auditorium Arena • Oakland, CA

54. Hell in a Bucket > Jerry Thanks (with Clarence Clemmons; 5.27.89 – Oakland Coliseum Stadium • Oakland, CA)

55. Heaven Help The Fool (10.31.80 – Radio City Music Hall • New York, NY)

56. Sage and Spirit (10.31.80 – Radio City Music Hall • New York, NY)

57. Little Sadie (10.31.80 – Radio City Music Hall • New York, NY)

58. Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (11.17.78 – Rambler Room, Loyola Univ. • Chicago, IL)

59. Big Boy Pete (11.17.78 – Rambler Room, Loyola Univ. • Chicago, IL)

60. Jack-A-Roe (11.17.78 – Rambler Room, Loyola Univ. • Chicago, IL)

61. Dark Hollow (11.17.78 – Rambler Room, Loyola Univ. • Chicago, IL)

62. Oh Boy (11.17.78 – Rambler Room, Loyola Univ. • Chicago, IL)

63. Oh Babe, It Ain’t No Lie (3.28.84 – Marin Veterans Memorial Auditorium • San Rafael, CA)

64. Walking The Dog (3.29.84 – Marin Veterans Memorial Auditorium • San Rafael, CA)

65. New Orleans (6.21.84 – Kingswood Music Theater • Maple, Ontario, CAN)

66. So Many Roads (10.1.94 – Boston Garden • Boston, MA)

67. Throwing Stones > Touch of Grey (10.11.83 – Madison Square Garden • New York, NY)

68. Not Fade Away (7.17.89 – Alpine Valley Music Theatre • East Troy, WI)

69. Good Lovin’ (9.2.78 – Giants Stadium • East Rutherford, NJ)

70. My Sisters and Brothers – JGB (7.23.77 – Keystone • Palo Alto, CA)

LINKS

Link for Brian Levine’s Artwork: https://imgur.com/a/m0Wl7Al

Zipped Links for MP3 Files:

Tracks 1- 13: https://www.mediafire.com/file/lpkw8v5d5ae66s9/ZIP_01-13.zip/file

Tracks 14 – 30: https://www.mediafire.com/file/9q1e32udukkyjuf/Zip_14-30.zip/file

Tracks 31 – 50: https://www.mediafire.com/file/f9gn7vxt37fmyeg/Zip_31-50.zip/file

Tracks 51 – 71: https://www.mediafire.com/file/iiaujvo8vhzij8r/Zip_51-71.zip/file

Zipped Link for PDF of Write-Ups: https://www.mediafire.com/file/c56odl2n5x3uf8u/Zip+Write-Ups+PDF+(2020).pdf/file

Zipped Link for 2020 Artwork & Videos: https://www.mediafire.com/file/rshatv1usfi3yap/Zip+Artwork+&+Videos.zip/file

MegaUpload for 2010-2019: https://mega.nz/folder/OA4REKhK#3fRUzV3G_27_zlIrscSANw

from WordPress https://ift.tt/3nUz2ch via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

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emohippie444 · 7 years

Note

How/why did you start YouTube? It's been something I'm really interested in lately, but I just don't know where to start

Oh YouTube (,: well, I actually had 2 channels prior to Chamber of Sam but in the Fort I was identifying as female and in the second I was out as trans but my hair was still long and i don’t want anyone seeing me like that so that leaves me to what i have today! Not only that, but it took me 2 years to perfect my editing skills. I started YouTube because I just love making videos and being informational and making skits. My videos aren’t monetized cus fuck the money honestly. My #1 favorite thing to do is editing my videos cus it gives me space to play around and discover new shit to do with editing. My videos might not be the highest highest quality but I do put so so much effort in them. And starting YouTube, here are so programs I use :

-imovie (i get it free on my Mac but it’s $20 on any other device)(free on iPhone)-picmonkey (but they just started charging ppl for it which I was shocked about that cus I’ve been using it for 3 years)(i use this to make thumbnails)(1280x720)-YouTube to mp3 websites-savedeo (for green screens)

TIPS ~

-search YouTube banner png looking shit and upload that onto picmonkey and design your banner)(it won’t let u save it since u have to pay for it now but NO FEAR! Just screenshot the shit off of your laptop)(use nice pngs online to make it if you want)(search things like “tumblr png”, “aesthetic png”. Idk shit like that.” - to not get copyrighted for music, set your videos as multi tune on imovie audio settings. -WATCH GABRIELLE MARIE FOR EDITING TIPS AND INTROS N SHIT OKAY! SHE IS SO AWESOME FOR LEARNING HOW TO EDIT !!

-but yeah for the most part I was self taught and it took me a whiilleee to get it right

I appreciate you asking! Nobody really cares about that stuff so thank you and I really hope you start YouTube! It’s so fun

#me #anon #asks

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marzipanrose · 7 years

Photo

So uhh You guys remeber that Picture I uploaded a while back called Izzie the Illithid? well I just wanted to write a bit about how she became an illithid so... yeah! Enjoy friends

(edit: I noticed that that the frist little bit had some tense and pacing issues so I went through and edited a bit. should flow a little nicer now :))

Isabel rolled her head from side to side, a few small cracks were her reward as she loosed the tension in her spine. The fact that she had been sitting in a cheap convention center chair for a couple of hours was probably the reason for all that nonsense. She took a glance around her table, four other people sat next to her making this game of dnd a slightly smaller one thn usual. hertable mates were in the middle of rolling for initiative and Isabel took advantage of that fact to take in the sight of a medium sized conference room that had been filled by people sitting at rows of tables and all chatting amiably . She was in one of the D&d free play rooms of PAX West, She was a veteran of this con and had been coming for a very long time. This was mainly mainly because she had an inside connection.

Her Father was one of the main organizers behind the Pc Freeplay room that was across the way in the secondary conference center.He usually had a few extra staff or exhibitor badges lying around and used them to get her and her siblings in. Her family had treated it like an annual summer vacation when they were little. Of course after she had gotten old enough had started puling her weight around the con. her dad had helped her find a volunteer's position so that she could attend and Be helpful. Usually most of her imediate family came to PAX this year however only part of her family had been able to come.

Her youngest brother and sister had sporting events that they had to attend and so it was only her, her (other) little brother, and her father at the event. Oh! and her uncle, she remebered suddenly, him and his small family had also come. she rembered seeing them downin the LAN area. It was always the highlight of her summer being able to see all the amazing exhibits and just bask in the sheer variety of nerdity that the con offered. If it could feasibly be called gaming or gaming related you could find it here at PAX.

As evidenced by this D&d free play room! It was a relatively new addition to the con but one she was enjoying immensely! A rotating shift of Dm’s ran 2-3 hour games to hopefully entice some new players away from the flashy worlds of console and PC gaming. It was a good quick little intro to all things D&D, or if you were more experienced ( like Isabel was.) it was just a fun way to get to meet more people in the hobby!

The staff had some premade character sheets available for the newbie players that were just trying things out but most of the more advanced players brought their own from home.

Isabel was in this latter category however she was not playing her regular character today. No today she was playing testing an unusual character to see if it was feasible in her home game. ever a sucker for the more monstrous of d&d races she had made an Illithid Bard. a weird combo to be fair but Isabel was of the firm opinion that Bards were always the best class. That and it gave her so many interesting roleplay opportunities! she was still fine tuning the backstory of course seeing as it would be hard to justify a mind flayer running around on the surface or playing music ( illithids being a race very much not noted for their musical skill) but that could come later, right now she just wanted to see if the mechanics worked, This weekend was about having fun and playtesting her new character to make sure it wasn't broken or overpowered.

Playing with newbies did, however, bring about its own little challenges. The guy next to her seemed to be taking an eternity to decide on the action for his tiefling fighter, mentally Isabel was praying for him just to pick a weapon and hit the dang goblin. Idly rolling the dice in her hand Isabel tuned back into the game. The same newbie was questioning the dm “ so I roll the d20 to see if hit right?” The ( rather weary looking) DM simply nodded.he had probably been asked this question a billion times this weekend “ alright cool. Then what do I do next?” The dm tiredly but politely said “Next you roll whatever dice is listed next to your weapon plus any bonuses to see how hard you hit” “Ah neat.” Isabel mentally groaned. The other newbie across the table had their phone out. Isabel gave a small frown, What horrible D&D etiquette. Finally, the dude next to her stopped waffling and attacked hitting the Goblin with his axe.Isabel sighed in relief finally it was her turn! She pulled out her character sheet and grinned turning to the Dm she started to say “ alrighty I'm gonna try and hit the bugbear chief with a mind bla-

And then it happened.

At first, she thought that there had been a bombing. A feeling like a pressure wave rushed through the room followed fast by sparkling lights and a bright orange-red wave.it knocked people and players forward, toppling Isabel out of her chair. Everything else seemed unaffected though.

For a second there was complete and utter stillness ……….and then the screaming began.

Isabel watched as the player next to her clutched his head and began writhing in pain. His skin was distorting as two large bumps seemed to be trying to burst through his forehead like an alien chest burster. Isabel could hear the crunchy sound of bone scraping on bone as two demon-like horns erupted from his crainium.

Isabel tried to yell and jump back from the horrid sight, but crumpled in pain as her back began to make sickly cracking sounds of its own. All around her people were screaming.

She clutched her head in fear as her face seemed to break apart and remold itself like wet clay. She could feel her clothes starting to tear as her body changed, gaining height and weight. Around her mouth, strange fleshy protuberances began to make themselves known pushing through her skin.

Blotchy purple spots covered her skin and she almost choked as her teeth suddenly became inexplicably lose. They fell from her mouth even as she continued screaming.

The room around her was in chaos. Chairs and tables had been flipped as those not writhing on the floor bolted for the door. The screams echoing from outside the room hinted that not only their small room was being affected by this magical craziness.

Through the pain, Isabel forced herself into a semi-sitting position. She almost got a shin to the face for her trouble.

A burst of pain made its way up Isabel's spine and into her face as she felt the strange protuberances grow longer. She let out a scream that sounded strange and distorted.

On her arms and knees, Isabel clambered over towards the overturned main staff table. It had been knocked over in the panic and right now seemed the safest place.

She curled up behind the table, as wave after wave of a pain shot through her body. Vaguely she wondered if she was dying. In a burst of panic, she shoved her hand into her pocket and dug for her phone. She had to call her dad. She had to make sure he knew she loved him. If she was going to die here she wanted her family to know.

there was-something was wrong with her hands! they were shaking violently and they were the wrong shape. With immense difficulty, she pushed the buttons to unlock the screen.Her hand shook even more as she painstakingly plucked her dad's phone number out of her contacts. Isabel brought the phone up to her ear. She writhed in pain as she waited through the first ring, and then the second, and then finally on the eight ring a voice as ragged and scarred as she feels came through the line

“ISABEL! ISABEL! OH God Isabel everything's Going Crazy! WHERE ARE YOU!!??”

Isabel tried to answer, but something was wrong with her voice! nothing but screeching watery gurgles spilled from her as she desparately tried to contact her father! Again she tries but it seems that her mouth just isn't the right shape.

“ ISABEL? ISABEL BABY, Whats Going on! Please Speak to me!! Where Are you? ARE you SAFE!?”

Isabel shuddered as the pain pulsed through her again, her face feels odd and heavy. She couldn't understand why her mouth had suddenly given up on her. With trembling hands, she switched over to text. “Imscared. Lobe you. hurts. “ then in a moment of clarity “ dnd rm”

She shuts the phone off as a particularly vicious wave of pain washes over her. Inside her strange mouth, she can feel new teeth push their way through her gums. She blinks her eyes and suddenly everything seems much too bright she hisses as she curls farther into a ball.

Eventually, the waves of pain lessen, they slowly go from feeling like someone switched her blood with hydrofluoric acid to all over period cramp levels of pain. Isabel uncurls slightly. Everything feels weird.

The room around her is oddly quiet the forms of many strange beings passed out on the floor. Isabel can't believe her eyes, there are tieflings and minotaurs and satyrs lying all around. Sounds of chaos still flood in from outside but this room is strangely quiet save for the groaning and occasional whimpers of pain.

Isabel takes stock of herself. Pulling her legs up into a sitting position she slumps wearily against the wall. In front of her, she can now see her legs and feet, her jeans which used to rest at about ankle length now stop mid calf. Lavender colored legs jut out from her pants significantly longer than she remembers them being. her shoes look like they are straining to hold in feet that have grown several sizes, Isabel reaches down to take them off when the sight of her hand stops her. Slightly longer than normal hands greet her vision.They are the same purple color as her legs and in between each finger is a small amount of translucent fishy webbing, a small but sharp claw juts out of each finger.

She only has eight fingers. Four on each hand.

Her breathing starts to come in sharp and short. This is wrong. All of this is WRONG. She can feel her heart pick up speed as she starts to panic.

Slowly, Isabel forced herself to take a breath in. silently she tells herself to just focus on the task at hand. A small slightly hysterical part of her laughs at that. Haha at hand.

Using her warped fingers it takes far longer than it should to untie the laces. She watched as the final string comes undone and her feet practically jump out of the too small shoes.

Her new feet have only two toes on each.

She gave them a wiggle. The two toes respond like any normal toes should and Isabel almost loses it. Something is very very wrong with her.

Grabbing her phone off the floor she switched it on and used the front facing camera as a mirror. Where her mouth should be there were four long tentacles protruding from her face. her eyes have become a milky white and the entirety of her skin is light purple. She looks like a cthulhian nightmare. after a moment a word flashes through her mind.

Illithid.

She was a fucking illithid. Her heart began pounding in her now completely flat chest. inky black tears flowing freely down her cheeks and onto said tentacles. Her hands reached desperately up feeling their way around the new facial features. She touched the new additions and shivered in horror at the sensations coming from them. They twitched automatically at her light touch and Isabel nearly screamed when she realized she could control them.

Oh good this was wrong! This was so wrong! Her breathing came in fast and ragged as the world seemed to enter tunnel vision all around her.she was going to die! she was going to get strapped to a government vivisection table somewhere in area 51 and die! she was going to -

“Its okay, its okay…. Shussh shussh, Help is on the way shussssh.” She could tell there was someone next to her but in her panicked state, it wasn't really something she could focus on. She felt someone's hand on her shoulder and a calming voice said “ I need you to take deep breaths for me, can you do that? I swear it's okay nothing is going to hurt you.. Susssh. Deep breaths there we go”

Shudderingly Isabel drew in a deep breath. Then slowly another.

“ that's it! Good job it's gonna be okay, I need you to do that a little more”

Shakily and after a few more moments of deep breathing exercises Isabel had calmed down enough to stop crying. she looked at her rescuer, in a moment of extreme surreality she found herself looking at a woman with robotic angel wings and a mechanical style halo floating above her head. It was Mercy. Mercy from Overwatch.Sensing her confusion the Mercy gave her a strained smile and said “ pretty strange huh? Don't worry it's okay, you're not imagining thing! Something weird happened here at the convention center. Nobody's hurt but people have been… changed.”

Mercy shifted her position so that they could see each other better.

“I was cosplaying as Mercy when this all hit and now,” she gestured to her body” I seem to have become her. Something similar has happened to you I bet. My name is Brian, And I was actually a registered nurse before all this”

He smiled a little sheepishly “ that's why my friends convinced me to come as Mercy for this con They told me I “ fit the part”. But enough about me what's your name? Can you tell me if anything hurts?”

Isabel opened her mouth to answer but once again the words she was trying to say came out as a harsh gurgling screech. For a moment she started to panic again. Brian gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and said “It's okay,..take your time.”

she tried once again and after a couple of false starts -which Brian waited through extremely patiently- she managed to get out a single word. “̱́.̳̝̯̪͈͢.͈͓I̲̟͕̹Z̡͇̦͎̼̘s̹͎̖̪̀i̺̫͎̩̹͖͟e.̨̟.̱̼͠”̛̮̟͈̠̻ͅ

Brian gave her a patient smile, making the best out of the strange situation “ well Izzie, does anything hurt? You can just Just shake your head yes or no.”

Tiredly Izzie slowly shook her head no, except for the lingering soreness around her shins and shoulders her body actually seemed to be in working order.Brian smiled again his wings actually slightly brightening at the lift in his mood.

“ That's good! I'm glad you weren't trampled over or something with all this craziness. Now to business, Did you come here with anybody? Is there somebody who you need to find?” Isabel pointed to the ground where her phone lay and with great difficulty said

“"̐ͧ̾̿ͫ͂̑҉̛P̶ͩ̅ͧ̑̍ͫͤ̎h̡ͮ̏͘ȯ̎͗͌̔͘͘ñ̵̷͠ĕ.̢ͦ̀͊̆ͩ͌͐͌̀́.͂̈҉̡̧.̵ͫ͛̊ͯͨ͏.̐͆̽̆҉ ͑ͭ̒̓͘͟Dͩ͛ͬͥ̍̓̿̚ä̶̧́͋̊̀̉̈́̒d̋ͣ͊̓͊ͦ̾͏"̛̇͂́

Catching her meaning Brian turned around and picked up the smartphone.pulling off the short black gloves that he was wearing he turned it on. Next, he looked up at Izzie and asked “This isn't locked is it?”

Izzie shook her head no “Good I'll give your dad a call.”

As Brian set about dialing the number Izzie took a good long look at the room she was in. it was a mess. Tables were upturned everywhere and dice and papers were strewn about in the rush to escape. Izzie and Brian seemed to be the only ones left in the room though so Izzie wondered if she had lost some time to the panic attack. one of the walls had a large hole through it as though something fairly large had crashed through it in its desire to escape.

Beside her, Brian was on the phone to her dad “ hello? Is this Izzy's dad? Yeah she’s right here with me, she’s gotten caught up in all this craziness and she can't exactly speak right now, my name is Brian sir, I'm trying to help. We are up in the d&d room on the second floor where are you? Okay, so the building across the street? You just stay right there.we will come to you.” A small pause, then Brian handed the phone to Izzie, “ he says he wants to speak to you,” Taking the phone in her oversized webbed hand Isabel held it up to where she guessed her ear would be. Her dad's voice came over the line slightly tinny “ Isabel Thank god you're alright! your brother and I are in the Pc Freeplay room. It's gonna be okay you hear me, I love you and I will always love you no matter what.let's just focus on getting together and staying safe okay?” Izzie gave a mumbly watery sound of assent. “ Good, stay safe.. See you soon”

Izzie hung up the phone,

As Izzie put the phone back into the pocket on her ruined jeans Brian looked up at her and said “ I think we can get over to your dad if we go through the sky bridge. The street outside is absolute chaos. I think the police are setting up a blockade down there so we should probably avoid that.” Rising to his feet Brian dusted off his white dress and held out a hand

“ Let's go find your dad okay?”

Despite not having lips anymore Izzie attempted to give Brian a tired smile. taking the proffered hand Izzie pulled herself up into a standing position. A sudden wave dizziness accompanied her ascent as Izzie realized that she was a LOT taller than normal. As a human, she had been no slouch in the height department coming in at an average 5 foot 6 but now she seemed to tower somewhere around the 7-foot mark. She stumbled a little but luckily Brian was there to put a steadying arm on her. “ Easy there. I know it's kinda disorienting at first, the height thing that is, I was 6.4 before all this” He put Izzie’s arm over his shoulders right in between the mechanical angel wings that jutted out from his back. “ let's just focus on the task at hand. Getting out of here.”

Izzie gave a weak nod of consent and slowly the two made their way out of the room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The expo hall was nothing short of ruined. The large developers' booths had been toppled over or otherwise ransacked by the ensuing mayhem. merchandise was thrown about wildly. Some of the larger exhibits had been utterly destroyed. Despite this, a fairly large group of people still were milling about the hall in small groups. Some of them looked to be Con Staff but others were definitely in the same boat Izzie was in with strange and new features adorning them, as they made their way into the hall they passed Totoro, Master chief, and a large Gyarados lying on the floor. As they looked around the hall a young woman wearing a Staff badge strode over to them and rather brusquely asked. “ Anybody hurt?” They shared a glance and then Brian spoke “ no ma’am just passing through,” Brian pointed to Izzie with her staff “ Her family is on the other side of the sky bridge and the road outside is blocked.”

The staff-woman looked at the strange sight of a 7-foot tall cthulian monstrosity leaning on a small angelic woman and decided that her daily amount of fucks given had run out about five minutes ago. In a matter of fact tone of voice, she said “ Be careful going over, somebody turned into the incredible hulk on the bridge and made a new skylight. If you see anyone under the debris come get us.” She pointed towards a corner of the room that had been a food court when everything was still up and running. “ we have a first aid station made up over there so if you see anyone else spread the word” And with that, she turned and went on her way. Izzie and Brian gave each other a look, then after a moment, they began moving forward. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Together Izzie and Brian picked their way through the destroyed booths, walking over and under and around the wreckage. One of the booths looked like it had been trampled by a dinosaur with large reptilian footprints all over it. Another booth full of t-shirts looked like it had exploded. toys, art, game consoles, and more littered the floor, all around obviously having been knocked over or discarded in the panic. Isabell thought to herself that the place would be prime for looting if she wasn't so against it. That and she had far more pressing things to worry about at the moment.

With tremulous footsteps, Izzie and Brian made their way onto the sky bridge. There was indeed a large hole in the glass ceiling, sharp shiny shards littered the entire walkway and Izzie began to worry about her bare feet. She stopped right before the sky bridge began and the sudden halt caused Brian to almost walk into her. Recovering from the near collision rather quickly brian looked up at her and said “ whats wrong? Why’d you stop?”

Izzie pointed towards her feet and then to the glass that covered the surrounding area. It took Brian a minute but then it clicked “ Oh! I see! Yeah, it's probably a bad idea for you to be walking over there in your bare feet. Umm let's see if we can find something to cover them”

Together the two searched through the surrounding rubble for something to cover Izzie's feet. After about 10 minutes they came across a booth that had been selling nerdy clothing items and while it was mostly tee’s they also happened to sell a pair of novelty slippers that looked like the Killer rabbit from. Izzie slipped them on over her misshapen feet and mentally smiled a little at the incongruous footwear. Brian let out a little laugh “ well, that's something I never thought I'd see, a mind flayer in bunny slippers!” Izzie nodded her head and winced a little when her tentacles unconsciously curled in a little on themselves in the illithid version of a smile. Brian laughed a bit harder and offered a hand to her “ come on Izzie! Let's make it over the sky bridge in your dashing new booties!”

Izzie took the hand and carefully the began making their way forward. They tried to avoid most of the glass seeing as while the slippers did have a rubber bottom it wasn't the thickest of soles and they didn't want to worry about it being pierced. At one point as they moved to avoid a particularly large patch of glass they walk close to the sides of the bridge. Through the transparent wall, Izzie could see the street down below. A huge crowd of people stood on the streets many yelling and pushing against a police line that had sprung up at the end of the street. About two-thirds of the crowd seemed like ordinary humans, the other third was like Izzie and varied wildly. Izzie could see a full size dragon stuck in the crowd. With all the movement below her, the crown looked not unlike the ocean, or maybe an ants nest when you threw a rock at it. Brian stared down through the window as well and let out a low whistle. “ damn, it looks like chaos down there…. I'm kinda glad we’re up here now.”

Izzie was about to nod her head in agreement when all of a sudden a splitting pain burst through her head. She hissed and stumbled back knocking into the side of a booth. Brian rushed forward surprise in his eyes. “ Izzie! What's wrong?!” he placed a steadying hand on Her shoulder “ are you alright?” Izzie clutched her head The hissing growing louder. She Wasn't! She Couldn't! IT WAS SO LOUD! She could hear voices screaming in panic! AND her heart was gripped with the overwhelming sense of fear! Why were people screaming!? Who was Screaming?

Brian was scared, something new was happening and he didn't know what. Holding on to Izzie's shaking shoulders he gave her a small shake and yelled “ IZZIE! STAY WITH ME! WHATS WRONG? WHERE DOES IT HURT? POINT TO WHERE IT HURTS!”

Izzie Screamed <IT'S TOO LOUD!!!>

Beside her, Brian flinched. It felt like something cold and slimy had just brushed against his brain like a very very loud intrusive thought. Then suddenly it happened again.

< IT'S TOO LOUD! THEY/IM SO SCARED! OH GOD! Help me! I CANT Hear Myself- where ANd They/ I? Who is speaking!?>

Brian stood there stunned for half a second. Izzie was talking, Izzie was talking telepathically. Apparently, her transformation wasn't as done as they'd thought and her mental powers had just clicked on full force. Brian looked down below them and realized.oh. Oh no. Izzie’s mental powers had just clicked on over a huge group of very very scared people. She was being flooded with all of their panics right now. Brian’s nurse training kicked in and he began to move.

Brian grabbed Izzie’s arm and threw it over his shoulder. He started dragging the confused mind flayer across the sky bridge, hoping against hope that getting her away from the crowd would help. As he pulled he began talking trying to get Izzie to focus on him rather than the pain. “ Izzie ssshhh it's gonna be okay, Izzie it's me, Brian, you are gonna be okay, Izzie focus on me. I know it's loud. Sssh sssh. Just focus on me, it's gonna be okay. I'm taking you somewhere safe. Ssshhh.”

<Brian? I can't, I ?? what?>

“ that's it, just focus on me.you're gonna be safe it's okay, just lean on me. I need you to walk with me, its kinda hard to pull you when you're so much heavier than I am.” Izzie stumbled along still leaning heavily on Brian's shoulder. As they got farther and farther along Izzie seemed to get better and better, With much stumbling and shambling the two managed to make their way to the other end of the sky bridge. Once they had made it to the other side they both sunk to the ground backs resting against a blizzard booth. For a moment they both just sat there breathing heavily. Brian looked over at Izzie who still held a rather shell-shocked expression on her face. Very quietly He asked “ Izzie? ...You okay?”

Izzie slowly began to nod and then said < I… I.. uh, Yes??> a small shudder worked its way up her shoulders <that was…. Intense. I could feel what everyone was thinking… oh god that was weird.> Izzie adjusted her seating so that she was a bit more comfortable < I can still kinda feel them… but they're quieter now I just sorta know their over there> Izzie shuddered < this… This is so creepy. I am literally talking about my brain right now…. It is like? Yelling? In your head? Oh god this is scary!> Next to her Brian just shrugged. In the most nonchalant voice he could muster he said, “ It definitely seemed scary, I mean you went down and I had absolutely no idea what was going on.” He then gave her comforting smile, and put a put a hand on her shoulder “ but hey! at least we can now talk to each other rather than have to play 20 questions.”

Izzie gave the mental impression of a weak smile ( which Brian found very odd)

< yes I suppose this is much easier.. >

Izzie still felt really odd, she could hear Brian's thoughts including the stuff about how odd a mental smile felt. Other people's thoughts felt somewhere between unstoppable intrusive thought and dreamlike voice in her head. She could also feel the relief coming off of him, it was almost like a wave of color brushing up against her. It was like Brian's mind was a bubble of light and shades and if she wanted to she could push deeper into it. She was scared however and backed away. She didn't want something like what happened on the bridge to happen again. She turned her thought elsewhere. < now that I can speak I want to say thank you, you've helped me a lot in the last little bit.>

Brian grinned “ don't mention it. I did what anybody else who had the capabilities would do.”

< well nobody else even tried. You did. So thanks.>

Brian pushed himself up off the floor and extended a hand to Izzie.

“Helping each other is what makes us human I suppose... even if some of us happen to be not technically humans at the moment. Now come on. Let's get you to the PC room. I'm sure your family is really anxious.”

Izzie accepted the hand up. Together they picked their way through the last of the expo hall and down the escalator to the PC room. The surrounding area showed signs of the panicked stampede but far less than earlier. Izzie rationalized that this was probably because this was the secondary building and had a few fewer attractions in it. Brian stopped to point out a very large hole in one of the immense windows that made up the walls on this level, idly wondering if that was where the dragon they'd spotted in the crowd earlier had made its escape. As they reached the entrance to the Pc room Izzie suddenly stopped. Seeing this Brian asked, “ what's up Izzie?” < I can feel, uh I mean, There's a whole lot of people up ahead. I should probably brace myself.> Brian took Izzy's hand. “ Hey it's okay, I don't know if it'll help or not but If you want to can try focusing on my mind? It might help?” he looked up at her with compassion in his eye“ don't worry though you got this, and if not I'll go in and bring you family out to you.”

Izzie shuffled nervously her eyes on her feet like she was afraid she’d fall over then quietly even for a mental voice she said <thanks>

After a little while, Izzie looked up at Brian determination in her eyes < I think I can do this now, let's go in and find my dad.> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Pc free play room was indeed crowded. It was always a very popular attraction at the venue with a Byoc Lan party on one side of the room and a Free Play area on the other side where you could sit down and play. A huge number of transformed people were milling about in here. It seems that the Lan party organizers had done a fairly good job at keeping everybody calm in the wake of all the craziness though as most were just milling around, some had even gone back to playing video games!. Tons of different video game characters now walked around in real life, quite a few soldiers were among the group (meaning there had probably been a Modern Warfare tournament going on when the Event happened) as well as quite a few Overwatch characters, there were even a couple of duplicate Mercy’s. Trying to concentrate solely on Brian’s mind Izzie began walking towards the organizer's area.

The organizer's area was a little cube of desks where the servers sat. and quite a few people were running around it still wearing staff shirts. Of course a few of those staff shirts now found themselves being stretched over inhuman frames but generally, a large amount seemed to be human. From what Izzie could see they were doing what they did best, organizing. The Lan Party staff were making calls and placating the people around them, trying their best to help everyone remain calm during this trying time.

Spotting a familiar face sitting at the table Izzie made her way over to the table where her uncle Greg sat manning the server. She called out mentally

Quite a few of the staff members and some of the surrounding bystanders jumped and Izzie realized that she had accidentally just done the mental equivalent of shouting her question at top volume. Her uncle, in particular, looked shocked and stunned for a minute or two before he pushed his glasses up and nervously said “Jesus !.. Izzie, is that.. You?”

Izzie shuffled nervously on the spot feeling all the surrounding eyes watching her. She slumped her shoulders and tried to look as non-threatening as possible. <ummmmm.. Yeah. It's me, I was caught up in the whole whatever this thing was…… Do you know where my dad is? I'm kinda.. Really scared and looking for him.>

Her uncle to his credit stopped looking so scared after he heard her talking at a more “normal” mental volume. He then put his hand to his temple in a thinking motion and said “ Last I saw of him he was over thataway” He pointed in the direction of the corner that the bathrooms were in “ your brother uh also changed and he’s having some issues with it. Apparently, He’s having kind of a freak out because of his Asperger's.”

Izzie nodded< I can imagine. His sensitivity issues must be driving him crazy. Usually, he can't even stand having his hair cut with a buzzer because the sensation bugs him. The pain of the transformation must have felt far worse for him than me… and I know it already was plenty bad for me.>

Izzie eyed her uncle curiously. < just wondering though… what did he turn into?> Her uncle grinned. “ Link from twilight princess. He was playing in the console room down below us when it happened” Izzie grinned in return < that's one of his favorite characters! Hopefully, once he calms down a bit he can appreciate that a little more.>

Her uncle gave a shrug and then turned back the business he had been working on. Izzie and Brian began making their way over to the corner he had pointed out. Izzie could feel the tired and controlled panicking of the people around her pressing in, it was sort of like being caught in a riptide. Izzie focused in on Brian. Feeling his familiar presence near her side was comforting. As they neared the bathrooms Izzie spotted her dad’s familiar bald spot a mile away, Her father was turned away from her helping a Link that looked very shaken. Izzie could see that a couple items of clothing had been removed from the “ Link” obviously stuff that had set off his sensory issues. Mainly it was the boots some of the gauntlets and the chainmail undershirt.

Izzie paused a moment. She knew that her family loved her, but still it was kinda scary… She looked at herself. Her new skin was purple and slightly mucousy like a frog's skins, she had four clawed and webbed fingers. Her head was a monstrosity. She wasn't human anymore… The thought of going over to her father was suddenly a lot more intimidating. Brian noticed her hesitation and quietly said

“ hey….. what's wrong?”

< sorry… I.. I know it's stupid to think this and that its probably never gonna happen but I… I'm scared. I'm scared that my dad's gonna see me and scream. I'm scared that he’s not going to want me anymore… like I said silly I know but…>

“ hey, it's okay to be nervous. I may not know your dad but right now he is over there helping your brother who has also been transformed. If he’s over there helping one of his kids out with this then he probably won't mind helping out his other kid as well.”

< I know but….. I'm so much…. worse.>

Brian stared at her. Then he grabbed her hand and held on to it.

“ its okay you're not alone.we can go and do this together if you like.”

<.......Thanks.>

They neared turned figure, tentatively Izzie called out with her mind

<umm.. Hey dad.>

A graying man in his late 40’s/early fifties turned around. With a stunned look on his face, he adjusted his glasses and said “ Isabel? Is that .. you?” Isabel squirmed. Her tentacles wound around themselves clutching each other nervously

<heh. Yeah, dad. It's me… I uh..>

The inky tears were flowing again, oh god she was too sensitive! Her father ran to her and put his arms around the softly crying cephalopod. they stood there together. Shortly the whole family was there all crying and holding each other. Izzie never felt more loved, from her father and brothers minds she could feel the overwhelming relief and joy. They were all here. They were all together. They were all okay.

Brian watched the scene with slightly teary eyes himself, he enjoyed this part of being a nurse, being able to see a family happy. He started to turn away thinking it best to let them have this moment privately.

A purple hand shot out of the knot of hugging bodies, grabbing Brian by his wing.

< nope. Get in here. You saved me, you are required to join in the happy reunion hugging.>

Brian smiled as he was included in the large hug.

#oc #monster girl #transformation #illithid #mindflayer #dnd #dungeons and dragons

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mrjtingles-blog · 7 years

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If you're new here, you may not know this but I nearly became a famous YouTuber.. there's a bit of a story behind it. This video is a eulogy to the channel that nearly took me there. That channel was called Mr J Tingles and it now no longer exists. So this is me telling my story.. Sometimes in life you have to let go of somethings (or someone) that you really love. One of my dreams growing up was always to be famous for making film. When YouTube came around and I saw kids like me making their living and changing their lives by creating videos they enjoyed for an audience of millions, I always wondered if I could do it myself. It then became not only my dream but my goal. For many years I enjoyed uploading to YouTube, even before 'Mr J Tingles'. It was a pastime more than anything else, a hobby. Life's circumstances always made it so my dream was constantly put on the back burner. Yet when I grew up to be an adult with a home of my very own, I took my dream out the attic, dusted it off, and got to work. One day I just spontaneously made a video. Little did I know that it was going to my first video on an incredible journey. I edited the footage and uploaded it to YouTube while thinking the video wouldn't get very far. That was ok with me. I would just upload because I liked the stuff I made. It was for me; if anyone else liked what I had made it was a bonus. This video I made was specifically for a blooming YouTube Genre. It had a particular niche to it. Thus 'Mr J Tingles' was born on June 1st 2015 My plan and dream was to become a famous and successful YouTube VLOGGER. So my strategy was to get a start in a genre that was easier to get noticed and grow and audience in. Once a substantial amount of people regularly watched me there, my plan was to then set up a vlogging channel and run it in unison with 'Mr J Tingles'. As soon as my Vlogging channel had taken off, my plan was to make it grow to a level that I could then use it to earn my living, thus realising my dream. I started making vlog style videos on this side channel called 'Twiglquirk'. I did this earlier than I had planned out at first. The name makes light of the fact that I was skinny like a twig and quirky. I started this sooner because I was just so eager to get it going. I always wondered though, for many years, "Could I at least reach 1000 subscribers"? If I ever did, I knew I was definitely on the road to making my dream my reality. That was yet to come and there was much work to be done to even get that far! So I made a start. The first video got way more views than I thought it would. I put this down to the considerably low amount of competition for this specific kind of content in the YouTube scene, compared to other genres such as gaming or vlogging. My second upload followed suit. Buoyed by the positive results, I began to upload on a regular basis. Aiming for one video a week. Soon I realised that people came back because I was making good quality videos they enjoyed. It wasn't just by chance. Soon I reached 100 subscribers. It hadn't been the first time in my life I had reached the 100 mark, (I had various YouTube channels throughout my teen years) so I felt just a fraction of the satisfaction I'd get from my dream milestone of 1000. I worked so hard to develop my own individualism and brand in this digital world where almost everything has been done before. After many tireless hours of experimenting in editing, I settled on a 'look', a 'feel' for my channel. I was truly unique. I had designed an 'intro' and 'outro' that would play at the beginning and end of each video, reminding people who they're watching and welcoming new ones to 'Mr J Tingles' and thanking them for their support, with plugs to other videos I had made, along with the request for new comers to Subscribe. At this point I should mention the only thing I had to work with, was my phone. I used it to shoot, edit, upload, and advertise everything I made. I downloaded some apps called 'PowerDirector' and 'PhotoDirector'. I used these apps to craft my videos and my 'thumbnail' images. I've spent so many hours using these apps. They're great apps and back then PowerDirector was yet to get all the updates it's had now, so it had much less 'usability' back then. Everything was bit bareboned when I started out, it's the same for many. I edited today's video with PowerDirector and it's the first video I have uploaded since Mr J Tingles died. Using it again brought back so many memories and I would like to carry on uploading. But I'll get to that later. The 'intro' and 'outro' would continue to be molded as I learned new editing tricks and as I grew more popular. The 'outro' forever changed when I was noticed by an already very successful YouTuber, one that is still a personal favorite of mine, one I've been watching for many years. I was on the App 'YouNow' watching Chris Kendall (AKA -- Crabstickz) in a live broadcast. He is loved by MILLIONS and has tens of millions of views on his videos. I watched a number of his broadcasts and even got a quick mention or two in a few of them which was pretty cool. Then I thought, "Hey wouldn't it be INCREDIBLE if I could get Chris to say "Thanks for watching Mr J" and then use it for my videos?? That'd be AWESOME RIGHT!?!" Well on April 27th 2016, in a live broadcast, after a number of attempts to be noticed, he finally saw my messages and checked out my channel -- this was in the middle of a live broadcast. At the 1 hour and 52 minutes mark he goes onto talk about me, my channel, and the genre for 5 minutes and 13 seconds. Again, this was in the middle of a live broadcast. He then encouraged everyone watching to subscribe to me. This may not be a big deal to anyone else but to me, I was over the moon! I was at the 400 mark by this point and with his plug I had a surge of viewers visit my channel and subscribe. I quickly reached the 500 mark and I felt so happy to be halfway to 1000. Luckily, by chance, he again noticed my messages in the flood of messages he was receiving in the live broadcast, and at 2 hours, 24 minites, and 41 seconds in of the same broadcast he reads out: "Hey Chris, would you say "Thanks for watching Mr J" and I'll use it for my videos" So he did ..and I got it on film. The footage I managed to capture with my phone wasn't great quality because Chris' WiFi wasn't great, so it was a little pixely, and by this time in the broadcast it was late at night, so he was poorly lit. What I had captured was a video of a video. The only thing I could really use was the audio, being the only thing about what I had captured to be of an acceptable quality for use in my videos. But I wanted to use the video footage too, so people would recognise his face not just his voice. They would think "Hey! That's Crabstickz! What's he doing in this guy's video?? That's so cool! I'm going to subscribe!" I was still so lucky and VERY grateful to have even a pixely, poorly lit video of a video. So I really racked my brain into thinking how I could improve this clip, because I didn't want to waste it! I contacted a friend of mine who works in IT. I asked if there was anyway to download past video broadcasts from the App 'YouNow'. I know how to download YouTube videos of course and I could do that from my phone even, but there was no way I could have done it with 'YouNow', not from my phone anyway, and at that time I didn't have a laptop or computer. My friend looked into it and came back to me saying that there wasn't a way to get videos from YouNow downloaded, and he saw no immediate way to be able to do it. He said with a little more time he could figure it out, but I realised he was a busy guy and told him to not to worry. So back to square one I thought of other ways I could get the footage of Crabstickz saying, "Thanks for watching Mr J". I traversed YouTube and looked for uploads of the live broadcasts I was mentioned in. I found one fan made channel that somehow managed to upload a few of the broadcasts to YouTube. I messaged them asking if they had the broadcast of April 27th, I desperately needed the footage, I said. They responded after a few days. They said that they had been working on trying to get the footage downloaded but they ran into some problems -- the same problems my friend had ran into earlier I assumed. They said they will continue to work on their computer and mess around with some code or whatnot so they could do it. A few days later I saw in my subscription list the video I needed and so I thanked the person responsible for all their hard work and downloaded the broadcast off YouTube and started fine tuning the footage to a quality that was acceptable. It still wasn't AMAZING quality but hey, it was still awesome! I added the final product to my intro and outro and it went down really well with my audience. After a while I used it exclusively for the outro and tweaked my intro as more updates for PowerDirector came out, making it possible for my edits to be smoother. Chris actually subscribed to me in another live broadcast. That was pretty awesome too! The last thing I did with Chris was meet him. On the May 9th 2016 broadcast at 35 minutes and 15 seconds in, he activates the 'guest' feature on the broadcast and beams me into a video chat with him while it's being broadcast live to hundreds and hundreds of people from all around the world watching simultaneously. We go on to talk for 13 minutes. It was an amazing experience. It was the next best thing to meeting him in person. Again I had been a fan of his for a number of years by this point and I dreamt about meeting him, so it was incredible to have a one on one chat with him. I never would have expected it would of been live over the Internet in front of hundreds of people watching from all over the world. That was one of the biggest highlights of my YouTube dream, to meet my heros. I did it, I met one of my heros. I've a had a few of my favorite YouTuber's reply to me in the comment section on their videos, people like 'KickthePJ'. But nothing compares to the time I spent meeting Chris live in a broadcast. After a while I reached the 750 mark. I started to really feel how close I was to my dream milestone. By this point my videos were getting around 1000 views a piece. Some of my videos were very popular! I remember making one video that got over 40,000 views alone. Then I got another sudden surge of viewers and new subscribers after what felt like a slow crawl. After countless hours of editing, 60,000+ views on 30 or so videos uploaded, 16 months, 2 days and just 1 mobile phone to do all the above. I achieved my dream milestone of 1000 subscribers on October 3rd 2016. I had answered that very question I first asked myself all those years ago. Could I reach 1000 subscribers myself?? I no longer had to wonder about it, because I had DONE it! Within a few short weeks I reached the 2000 subscriber mark. It took me over one year to reach 1000. Now I was at 2000 by November. Yes, this was truly the beginning of my dream coming true, my channel was snowballing and I had so many ideas and projects in mind. I was in contact with a fellow YouTuber who was also snowballing like me. He was called PJ (not the same one as before). He was at the 5000 mark when we first started talking. I was up and coming just a few thousand behind at 2000. We started talking about making a collaboration project. The videos we aspired to do together would have been a first in the genre. No one had done what we were going to do. PJ is now at 62, 000 subscribers. I can't help but know that if I hadn't stopped, I'd still be snapping at his heels, probably around the 50,000 subscriber mark right now. Which is halfway to getting the Silver YouTube Play Button Award for 100,000 subscribers. That was my dream too. It was around this mark you could really make a fair amount of money. I would be making an equivalent to a part-time wage from my YouTube career had I carried on. My ultimate dream would be to reach 1 Million Subscribers and make it my full time job. Another project I had on the cards was to create Mr J Tingles merchandise. I made a video on my channel reaching out to graphics designers asking for their help with a project. I was in contact with a number of graphics designers. I told them exactly what I wanted to do and what I wanted from their graphic. I went into great detail explaining how I wanted the nuances of the image to look. I wanted to be personally involved in every step in how it looked, everything from what was actually happening in the picture, all the way down to posture, colours, shading and style. I left the artists to their work but gave detailed feedback with every draft image I got, so I could perfect the final product into looking like what I had envisioned. I never got a final image finished, just a pretty cool looking draft. The final image would become my brand image and it was going to go on T-shirts, hoodies, hats, mugs, phone cases, wristbands, and even Bedsheets! I was in contact with a few companies to make this happen. This is one avenue that YouTubers use to make their money. MERCHANDISE. I was excited to kick it off and I already had many viewers saying they were excited and ready to purchase my merch as soon as it hit the market. Just quickly, another project I had in mind was to create a product that was specifically designed for watching videos of this genre. I had a few blueprints and pages of research, but nothing tangible. The product was going to be something you could buy and wear specifically while watching my videos. I don't know how I was going to do this one but I didn't stop thinking about it. SO it was all going very well, it was exciting and attracting so many people, my dream was coming true.. why did I quit? Well, I have a life outside of the world of YouTube, other responsibilities and dreams. Ones that are far more important. I realised that by aspiring to be what I was becoming, I was about to compromise some values that I live by. My priorities got turned upside down and I knew I was getting a bit carried away. So I knew in order to regain control, there was just one thing I had to do. Shut it down. I had made a goodbye video that was very emotional, in which I gave a full explanation for my loyal fans and growing audience as to why I had to quit. It had the music you hear in this video playing in the background as I got all choked up talking about it on camera. I cried because it was sad but I had made my mind up. In the end I couldn't bring myself to upload that video. I thought the best way to go was like an old dog in his sleep. So without a warning or word to anyone, I abandoned all my projects, deleted all my videos I had spent countless hours working on, and deleted my channel. It was so difficult deleting each video, it felt like a knife in the chest, one stab for every video I deleted. When clicking "Confirm" to wipe Mr J Tingles from existence forever, I felt a deep sadness overcome me. I was saying goodbye to a big part of myself and to thousands of people that believed in me and supported my dream. That was it then. It was all over. My channel and my dream that I had spent just under a year and half pouring my heart and soul into, was now gone.. forever. Mr J Tingles died in November 2016 with the final count of 72,000+ views and 2145 subscribers. I retired before the real work even started. This doesn't mean that I still don't love making videos, as I said earlier I'd love to carry on uploading. But I won't be uploading with the goal to be famous. I'll be uploading because I like to create film. Not so I can succeed in the world of YouTube but because it's just my art now, not my goal. I won't even be asking people to subscribe and my videos will only be about what I want to make. I'll probably change my name and only upload when I have time. True, I never went on to become a famous YouTube Vlogger, but I realised that, in my life, there are more important things to do, bigger dreams to chase, and a greater purpose to be apart of. So no, I never made that particular dream come true. I did get closure though. Could I have become a famous and successful YouTuber?? Answer? Yes. I nearly did. Who knows where I'd be right now if I was. - Mr J Hayes -

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