#i had this in my drafts for like 6 months

[residenteviljunkie]

Honestly pour one out for Luis Sera, what an icon. my guy was present for a fraction of a resident evil game and yet his legacy lives on today

[clarkgriffon]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 7x22 | “Chosen” 

[rockpaperscissuhs]

HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH + BAND OF BROTHERS:

JOSEPH "JOE" RAMIREZ

Born October 5th, 1921, in Nebraska

Died April 8th, 1988 (age 66), in Martinez, California

Joe Ramirez enlisted in September 1942 (age 20) in San Francisco, CA, and he trained with Easy Company at Toccoa. Holding the rank of Private, he served in Normandy, Holland, and Bastogne. He was hospitalized in January 1945, and discharged in July 1945. After the war, he was married for many years, and had children and grandchildren. When he passed away he was buried with his wife, who had passed away 11 years earlier. Further information about him is scarce, but the brief character profile in the Band of Brothers series bible describes him as Mexican-American, and his personality as "sensitive and nervous."

Appears in Episodes 1, 3-8, and 10; portrayed by actor Rene L. Moreno

Sources below

A million thanks to @bleedingcoffee42 for tracking down this info for me!

[stoneqoldcrazy]

literally the same exact picture

[cardsharksplayingames]

Lover is now 5 (holes in the fence) years old

[flurry-of-stars]

︵‿︵‿୨✩୧‿︵‿︵

*taps microphone* New chapter for These Hollow Halls coming soon--

[seventh-district]

Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.

This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.

[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]

For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.

Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.

Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]

Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!

Sam's Part

I was a ten-year train wreck

Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.

In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."

I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.

It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.

With a last-call longneck

Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.

I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad

This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.

I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)

Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back

This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.

If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.

Not your fault, I was scared to fall

This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.

Darlin's Part

You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back

We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.

"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"

Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."

Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"

"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.

"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.

"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.

Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."

They scoff. "I am being serious."

Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."

"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."

He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."

He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"

Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"

He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."

They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."

In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

They think about dead stars.

They think about time.

"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"

They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.

They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.

"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."

.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.

Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers

'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)

[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]

Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined

Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.

The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.

Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to

These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.

I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.

"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."

Equally Applicable Lines

And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break

Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.

(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.

But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)

-------

[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]

[tardis--dreams]

Ever think about how worried dongsik is when he realizes juwon went into that house alone and the look of relief when he sees him coming outside just before he sees the blood on his hands

[xx-akubara-xx]

It's literally taking all of my willpower rn to not delete or orphan that bowuigi smut fic. ; u ; My main reasoning is that - I hate it. I don't like how set up the pieces. I have ideas now of where it could go, but it can't because of where it's at - I like the idea of Luigi and Bowser getting attached through visitation and getting spicy. But I did it so badly in this ficlet.

Maybe when I get my ducks in order, I'll just orphan the story for those who do like it and start all over.

[dangaer]

just wrote part of a reply on it and honestly i think this sunday is a perfect time to discuss lucifers own "concealing the truth to keep you safe" plot with his brothers has honestly gone too far over the years. like, not just with the lengths he would go to keep it (ie locking belphie up in the attic and lying to everyone about it) but also just how far he will go to keep it. to his brothers, lucifers seen primarily as a rather cold and ruthless figure, he is the one to tell them off when they go wrong but never always lets his guard down with them, pushes himself further into a parental role but falls short in that position because he refuses to give the same levels of trust back to them. because that is the extent of his pride, in a sense. he carries his own burdens and refuses to let his brothers see the cost he takes to make that. he won't tell them of his deal with diavolo, he won't tell them when the work gets too much and he gets exhausting, because he fools himself into believing that they will prefer to see him as this figure they can depend on because he is nothing short of perfect, when what they also want is for him to know he can trust them in the same vain, that this coldness isn't the way to build on what they know.

belphegor and satan are the worstl in this instance, and while mammon has picked up on it ... its only when lucifer really falls in love and begins to trust his partner does he learn to trust his brothers in turn.

[castleclerics]

edward creel, shadows, and siblings

been watching some scenes with the idea of edward in mind and tied together some interesting things

if you don’t know who that is look at these posts for explanation

after looking at scenes and things it seems like henry and one are the same person and edward and vecna are the same so just keep that in mind.

when el asks henry (who i believe is actually edward here) where one is he says this. rewatching this part after the reveal you’re supposed to believe he’s referencing himself but now that we know edward exists, i think he’s referring to henry. i think edward here in 1979 has crossed into our/henry’s timeline. so henry is probably still alive, just hiding in the darkness like brenner says

and if that’s true it makes sense as to why will says one is “hurt, he’s hurting.” because edward/vecna was just killed. henry is connected to edward so it probably felt like he lost a part of himself, his shadow. and you can’t function without a shadow.

brenner is also worried el could “become lost in the darkness” like henry if they push her to remember memories too quickly. and it’s interesting will is literally light and henry is in the dark, almost like he’ll be able to find him in s5.

the stage play is called the first shadow and they include in the synopsis “the shadows of the past have a very long reach” which is very interesting considering will said this about the shadow monster.

speaking of shadows, my mom made me aware of the saying “here comes your shadow” her and her friends said all the time as kids, in reference to someone entering a room and their sibling following behind them like a shadow.

makes me think of how the lost sister episode was originally “supposed” to be called the lost brother which makes no sense because why would they have chosen el to have a brother before making it a sister while writing for s2? i’m assuming they had the cast figured out for s2 when they posted the titles including the girl who played kali. they probably did that purely as a tiny piece of lore.

and this song plays in the episode originally titled “the birthday”

(which btw is impossible to find lyrics for online so they chose this song very very specifically if it’s not that popular)

and in the talisman people they have “twinners” which are themselves from a parallel dimension.

so i’m thinking that the st writers are probably following this same logic my calling someone’s paralled ver. their sibling/brother etc.

[ashorterurl]

this close to dumping my thesis forever

[airenyah]

uh. hello???????????? where did that autofull suddenly come from???????? i haven't thought about this series in at least a decade???????? help?????????

[alistonjdrake]

Reflecting & Resolutions

I’m trying not to use the word “failure” when I look back on 2022. I hit a lot of rough patches, got very busy, had a lot of trouble finding time to write and then I would get stuck when I did. I spent a lot of time where I could have been writing dealing with slightly related issues (the whole cover debacle that swallowed August to like October). I moved. I had some troubling personal issues to deal with and recover from (nothing too serious just a bunch of stolen property) so in the end, maybe it’s a miracle I wrote at all. 

Looking back at what I wanted this time last year, I had two goals. I wanted to finish my Someone Will Die draft and I wanted to make significant progress into Of Blood and Stone. 

I did not finish SWD but I think I did get my goal with OBS as I only have some-teen chapters left to write and, although I’ve slowed down when it comes to writing, I’m keeping myself steady with chapter outlines and plan note-taking. I started a bunch of unplanned projects like The House of Ruin and Council of the Olive Grove. I said I wanted to edit my shorts and I did not but since after a year I still have not figured out what I would like to do with them, there’s no hard time limit on those. 

Given how I’m slipping into 2023, I’m gonna try not to pressure myself with any hard goals. I do have hopes, however. I hope I finish OBS. I hope I make progress with SWD. I hope to finish Olive Grove (it’s supposed to be pretty short in comparison anyway). I hope to get editing done on certain things and figure out what I want to do with some finished works that are still just sitting there. I hope to use the world building server I made more and to continue to write “advice” posts on the topic. 

[rentaniisan]

Tell me specifics in the tags if you wish!

[phagodyke]

I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.