#i had no idea how to answer this so i wrote about this fictional monkey

[kryptonbabe]

Hope you are having a great day.

Thank you!

I'm having a nice day so far, drank some coffee, sent some emails and since I don't know how to answer this nice ask any other way, I'll share something that's been on my mind the past couple of days and I was going to keep to myself, but here you go: The unjust erasure of Mr. Hogan from comic book history!

Mr. Hogan, the monkey, on the shoulder of the adventurer Lance O'Casey in their first appearance (Whiz Comics #2).

But who is Mr. Hogan? As I was curious about Captain Marvel (Shazam) first comics I started a journey of looking for his first publication on Whiz Comics #2 (fun fact: this is actually their 1st issue not the 2nd, for convoluted reasons). Finding these comics is easy for they are public domain, and I had a little help too (thanks @justletmeon12!), so I started reading the issues when Lance O'Casey's stories caught my attention, not because of the main character's originality, there's nothing really special about his naval exploits, but I was amused by his monkey side-kick Mr. Hogan and just how relevant he is to the stories. Ever since I was a kid I really liked animals in comic books, especially primates. I don't know, they are cute and fun and I won't apologize for it.

I read this first Lance O'Casey story expecting nothing, so it was quite surprising to realize it was a good story for its limited length and time period. Captain Marvel was a huge success back then and Whiz Comics had a long run - 13 years total, from 1940 to 1953 - until they were ruined by the famous DC lawsuit. But honestly I'd never heard of Lance O'Casey and admittedly he was not the most famous of the other feature characters in Whiz.

However, from 1946 to 1948, Lance O'Casey had a 4-issue mini-series at DC, and after reading a few of his Whiz stories I was slightly curious to see how this series would explore the extra pages... How disappointed was I to find out Mr. Hogan, the monkey side-kick, had been completely ERASED from O'Casey's stories, as if he had never existed...

And ok, why should you care? Why should anyone care? What's so special about Mr. Hogan. Well, I'm glad you asked, because I have some panels to show you... (all from Whiz Comics #2)

O'Casey and Mr. Hogan arrive at this island after some unknown adventure, the island is empty and they investigate, they find a guy passed out, he tells them some white people were kidnapped, they need to save them. The details are not important, but look how Mr. Hogan engages in the investigation... looking at footprints, holding the victim's head. You might argue these are passive actions though, O'Casey could be guiding him...

Take a look at these panels then, they show a careless Lance O'Casey absentmindedly running through a dark forest before Mr. Hogan astutely warns him of the death trap in the way, saving O'Casey from certain doom...

Later is Mr. Hogan who climbs a palm tree to reveal the enemy's hideout to clueless Lance O'Casey waiting on the floor...

Let me tell who saves the victims at the end... After arriving at the place where the kidnapped white people are, it is Mr. Hogan who releases them while O'Casey fights some guy. I'm not denying O'Casey's importance, I'm just trying to highlight that without Mr. Hogan's help Lance would not even be able to accomplish his feats...

Close to the end of the tale, in a impressive accomplishment of acrobatics and intelligence, we see a quick Mr. Hogan being catapulted to the drifting boat (their only escape from the enemy's island) and, by himself, maneuver the boat to the coast, saving the humans.

He even had a panel to introduce himself to the kidnapped victims they just helped.

I've only read a few of the Whiz Comics issues and Lace O'Casey is not featured in every issue, so it will take me some time to figure just when exactly they ditched Mr. Hogan for a human side-kick, and if any good reason is given for it. I just know he's absent from the #155 (and last) issue of Whiz, from Lace O'Casey mini in the the late 1940s and from the post-crisis cameo of O'casey in The Power of Shazam. I also have this quote about Mr. Hogan from his page at the DC Comics fandom wiki:

"Mister Hogan was the unofficial first mate on O'Casey's first ship, The Brian Boru. After several adventures, Lance moved on to a new vessel, the Starfish and brought on an actual first mate, Mike Bellow. Mister Hogan's actions from that time onward remain unknown"

The last sentence is certainly worrying. But rest easy, I'll be keeping a close eye on this, I will know what happened to Mr. Hogan, or at least his last appearance in the comics.

I must say, at the end of this little essay, that Mr. Hogan was not without his flaws and complexities, in Whiz Comics #5, after being bitten by a turtle, he had no reservations punching the creature. More room for character development and improvement I say, Mr. Hogan was a golden age character after all, and it's time to bring him back.

But yeah, thanks for the completely non-related ask, hope you're having a great day too!

[tsukimefuku]

Overdue introduction post

She/Her • bi/pan • AuDHD non-monogamous lady • professional tinkerer • this year I’m gonna be unstable unstoppable

If you like anything I write, please leave a comment. I do my best answer each and every one made :)

I don’t usually take requests because I came back to writing in order to let my AuDHD run wild like a toddler with a pair of scissors, completely unbound by earthly restraints. However, I do take suggestions, if you’d like to send one in my Asks.

Pen name and meaning: Tsukime Fuku or Fuku-Chan. I wanted something to resemble the owl I feel like, most of the time (I have terrible sleeping issues). Fukurou (梟) in Japanese means Owl, so I just decided to shorten it in katakana (フク). I wrote Tsukime in kanji (疲明) mixing up the gloomy and tired aspect from “Tsuki” with the bright one from “Me”. I’m a tired, gloomy, somewhat optimistic millenial owl.

My letters from the LGBTQIAP+ community: B for kissing multiple genders and A for demisexual (I can’t spell, sorry). Also, I’ve got a wife.

Where I’m from: A country well known for being God's wild random sandbox experiment 🇧🇷 For that reason, English is not my native language (you can communicate with me in Portuguese, Spanish and English. If by any chance you say something in Italian, please make it three-year-old friendly).

Current fandoms: Jujutsu Kaisen (main) and Hazbin Hotel (secondary).

Former or everlasting fandoms: Death Note, Fullmetal Alchemist, flanaverse, Bojack Horseman, Rurouni Kenshin, Avatar (both The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra — I’m a Korra stan), Sherlock (books, stories, and BBC Series), Steven Universe, House MD, Supernatural, and other things I’ll add as I remember them.

Favorite genres of fiction: murder/mystery (b1tch! grew up reading Sherlock), terror, horror, drama and millennial comedy / dark humor. Currently, I’ve been getting into smutty fiction and rather enjoying it. I also want to write some chick lit stories, so...

Fun(?) facts about me I had enough time to come up with, instead of nervously sweating in the middle of a date thinking about them (this might get updated regularly, but probably won't - most recent will be at the bottom of the list):

Yes, I’m a criminal defense attorney. I love and hate my job multiple times a day.

I have a deranged type of humor (it's because of my inner demons. They have many voices. One of them is Carol)

I am unhinged and shitpost like a hell spawn. That's not a fun fact, it's a warning

I'm controlled by a monkey with a typewriter that lives inside my head. It feeds off of my anxiety during the day, then gives it back to me at night. It's lovely.

My writing process goes about like this: I get an idea. It plagues my every waking moment. If I don't write it, I realistically believe it might consume me into oblivion. So I write. Should I write because it's fun? Sure. Do I write to quench the thirst for dopamine of my inner demons (that have many voices, one of them is Carol)? Absolutely.

I got diagnosed with ADHD in my early 20's, and autism in my late 20's. These were definitely my roaring 20's, and we don't talk about it.

I try to be a kind person when I can. As a lady in her late 20's with some life and trauma experience involving mental illnesses, addiction, grief, and much more, you can always DM me if by any chance you need to talk about anything. I don't bite (much).

I realized I've been chatting with an online acquaintance that lives with a 12+ hour difference. That's how fucked my sleep schedule is — you can't fuck up your sleep schedule if you have none, amiright?

I need a soundtrack for everything I'm doing. It makes talking to people in real life very difficult.

I never know what day of the month it is. It's led me to receive happy birthday's unannounced and feel very confused at the people congratulating me on "my special day". I had done nothing special. It made no sense.

I tend to write very fast. It's the monkey's fault.

My most unpopular opinion: HIMYM ending was the correct choice, and made perfect sense for Ted and Robin.

My favorite quotes in English are the ending to The Great Gatsby (“so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”) and a tidbit from Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest (“Truth is rarely pure and never simple”).

My favorite poem of all time is "Tabacaria" by Fernando Pessoa.

Something you’ll NEVER see me writing in love stories is romanticized jealousy and possessiveness. Everyone has their thing, but that’s really not mine, and I don’t enjoy writing it. When I DO write about jealousy, I like to explore the underlying insecurity and pain behind it.

I’m here to spread the non-monogamy queer agenda.

If you read this through the end, thank you, and I'm slightly concerned for your mental well-being. Come on over and have a cup of tea.

🦉

[ladytauria]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @zeroducks-2! thank you <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

90 total, with 8 of them for my original fiction pseud.

What’s your total A03 word count?

266,163. however, i like to subtract 2 of the original works i wrote, 'cause most of the writing is no longer canon to the project it was written for xD so, 198,925. still impressive!

What fandoms do you write for?

whatever fandom i'm obsessed with at the moment.

in the past, that's been super robot monkey team hyper force go!; how to train your dragon; ghost hunt; percy jackson & the olympians; legend of zelda; and ducktales (2017). there are a few other fandoms but those works never left my drafts xD

currently, it's DCU, & mostly bats at that <3

What are your top five fics by kudos?

in a diner at midnight (1,161 kudos) -> first story in my reverse robins series, as well as the first batfic i ever published lol. Tim catches Jason stealing the Batmobile's tires after he was sent back to the car, and does what any good Robin would: laugh his ass off and then buy him dinner.

you know just what i need (1,158 kudos) -> Tim is an omega. Jason is an alpha. Jason likes him, but he knows he blew his chances at being with Tim years ago. That changes, after he finds out that Tim has experienced a string of rejections, as he prefers to dominate alphas in bed. Jason is... entirely unopposed to this.

early confrontations (814) -> another part of the reverse robins series. When Jason finds out that Tim might be alive and operating as the Red Hood, he decides the best course of action is to break into his apartment.

inquiring minds (794) -> the only non-DC fic on this list. Ducktales (2017). Penumbra wants to know how Donald didn't burn up in Earth's atmosphere.

held together (792) -> another part of the reverse robins series. After Bruce accuses Jason of killing Garzonas, he goes to Tim for comfort.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

There for a while I was only responding if someone had a question, but now I do try to respond more, even if just to say thank you, or send back a heart emoji in return xD

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. I don't write a lot of unhappy endings xD But "empty promises" is probably the angstiest ending I've written. Maybe "twenty to one."

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm…

Edit: I didn’t realize I forgot to finish answering this one!! Most of my fics end happily so I’m not sure which one has the happiest 🤔 I will have to look through and edit again with a proper answer lmao

Do you get hate on your fic?

Not in a while. Only once on AO3. Twice on FFN. Some people weren't very happy I wrote genderfluid Link :) And then prior to that-- I mean. It was hate, I guess, but it was more funny than anything else. Guest account was upset at the length of my oneshot collection entries and started advertising for a date, lmao. Ah, trolls.

Do you write smut?

Yes. Usually with feelings, and on occasion, with plot.

Do you write crossovers?

Hmm, I have had a conversation about crossing over my first fandom with DC, but idk if that will ever actually leave my drafts ^^;

That said, I do like the idea of writing fusions?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Not in a very long time! And the two I was co-writing never did get finished, lol.

What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

I hop fandoms and multi-ship too much to have an "all-time" favorite ship. But currently I vibe hardest with JayTim.

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmm...

So I tend to either plod along at WIPs until they're either finished or I've moved fandoms xD Every now and then I will scrap one, but for the most part, there's a pretty good chance of me finishing the fics I start.

That said...

I don't know exactly what the problem is, but I've been having a really difficult time working on the tenderest of touches. Stray!Tim x Hood!Jason teaming up to kill the Joker, and as they're waiting for their plans to come to fruition, they end up having lots of ill-advised kinky sex... which slowly causes their feelings for each other to deepen and reveal themselves.

There are also some identity shenanigans, as Jason never learned Tim's secret ID and Tim has no idea that Hood is his dead first crush :)

What’s your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at conveying emotion. I also think I do alright with dialogue :) And, hm, metaphors / imagery?

What’s your writing weaknesses?

Character voice. Not so much in dialogue, but in the prose? I tend to stick to 3rd Person Limited, and I feel like my personal writing voice tends to come out too strong & overwhelm the character's.

Endings. Sometimes I find the right one, but other times I meander for a while, or just. Decide to stop it at a certain point, which can be a little abrupt.

Juggling more than so many characters. This one hasn't shown up so much in DC fics because I don't think I've really written much with more than 3 characters, but that's about my limit. After that I end up forgetting people / certain characters end up kind of disappearing.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

A word here or two, yes. A couple of lines, maybe. But any more than that... not likely?

First fandom you wrote for?

Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go! An old Disney cartoon from the early 00s. It was... mecha-anime adjacent, centering around a human and his five cybernetic monkey teammates trying to stop their planet from being (destroyed? ruined? corrupted?) by the Skeleton King.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Hmm...

Okay, actually my favorite fic I've written hasn't been posted yet. I was persuaded to make it longer and--well. I had ideas, so. That's what I'm doing :)

But of the ones I have posted...

It's a toss-up. Because like... I have two that I genuinely enjoy re-reading because (at least for the moment xD) I have no complaints. And then there are two I'm just. Genuinely proud of the concept and the outcome, even if there are areas I might want to fix, I think I did a good job anyway.

And then there's one that I'm genuinely just proud of finishing bc of how much trouble I had with it xD

Anyway. Um.

I'm gonna go with the two i enjoy re-reading the most---

drape me in your warmth // patience is a virtue (rewarded by sin)

no pressure tagging... @paprikadotmp4 // @kieran-granola // @generatorcat // @disniq // @enak-s // @glaciya

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Gou Ep22

All of this ‘the culprit’s motives are super shallow and they’re just unhealthily obsessive’ discourse is giving me war flashbacks to . . . . basically every other part of the entire When They Cry franchise, lol.

Thoughts under the cut. [Plus spoilers for Umineko]

I feel like at the end of the day we’re all just gonna have to agree to disagree about how we feel about how Ryukishi is handling Satoko as the culprit here, since I don’t really think any amount of social media posts detailing our interpretations of her character are gonna change anyone’s minds, lol. But I’m still gonna give my thoughts on her anyway because it’s fun, even if I’m basically just preaching to the choir.

To be honest, this feels pretty much in line with how Ryukishi already wrote characters like Takano and Beatrice, in terms of them having unhealthy obsessions that lead them to mass-murder. The amount of violence Satoko has caused is arguably worse than either of them, but they’re all pretty awful if you think about the reality of what they all did as villains.

Sorta like with how a lot of the old-school Umineko discourse went, I think people are too focused on the whole idea of Satoko hating studying, and ignoring everything else about her character and her circumstances. Although even then I feel like people are being kinda unfair toward Satoko about how strongly she feels about academics, but maybe I’m just biased because of my own history with schooling and the intense levels of anxiety and self-hatred that can go along with it.

Plus the fact that Satoko already has a long history of sever abandonment issues, and has basically always had HS that amplified her feelings of paranoia and persecution. It’s pretty obvious at this point that she never really got ‘cured’ in the first place, though it’s less important to think about HS as an in-universe fictional disease with it’s own rules, and more important to just think about it as a representation of real-life mental illnesses which aren’t bound by the rules of made-up brain-worm parasites and aliens or whatever.

Also, the Satoko that started all this looping in the first place was one who never dealt with Teppei returning to the village, and thus never went through her whole character arc related to that. The series is kinda ambiguous about how it handles the idea of people’s character development carrying over between loops, but it explains a lot about Satoko’s attitude here if you go with the idea that she never really had to overcome any of her trauma or coping mechanisms in the “good ending timeline”, and this is the consequence of that taken to it’s logical extreme. The idea of her view of the world being skewed by the fact that she only remembers the “good ending timeline” is also kinda lamp-shaded by the part where she hears about Rika’s looping and is like “oh yeah, that’s the month where we had that cool action movie stand-off with the Mountain Dogs :)”. By the time she really got to understand exactly what was going on beyond the specific timeline she had experienced, she was already way over the edge.

I get why people don’t like the idea of Gou ‘tainting’ the VN’s happy ending, but I honestly like the idea that it’s examining the consequences of how Matsuribayashi was such an overly-specific timeline where basically nothing bad happened and everyone just banded together to beat Takano. It kinda glossed over a lot of the personal problems that the main cast had in the rest of the series, and this really goes to show the effects of some of that stuff not getting properly addressed. It also reminds me that Minagoroshi is a timeline that even in the VN, Rika completely lost her memories of, so I can see how even post-Matsuribayashi she might have never let Satoko know about the details of that one timeline where she overcome her abuse.

I also feel like it only really got to this point because of Featherine’s meddling. In the original Matsuribayashi timeline, Satoko just started drifting away from Rika and ended up wandering into the Saiguden and meeting Featherine before anything actually serious happened in that timeline. I think that if she had just been left to her own devices and that timeline had just kept going, Satoko probably would have either found a way to reconnect with Rika, or they would have just slowly drifted apart for good. But then Satoko got given the power to time travel, and only started going off the deep end after going through another five years of identical suffering.

And on that whole note, it reminds me of how in Umineko, Lambda had a whole conversation about the idea of an abused person becoming an abuser themself if they’re given the power to lash out. Which is basically what’s happening here. Satoko is being given the tools to completely detach herself from reality and try as many times as she likes to get what she wants.

Which also reminds me that this episode in particular REALLY lays the Umineko parallels on thick, lol. Particularly the whole ���Satoko is turning into Lambda’ thing, which feels just about 100% confirmed now. They straight up have Featherine bring up the exact same ‘monkeys using a typewriter’ analogy to explain Rika’s situation that Lambda uses in Umineko to explain Bern’s situation.

I know a lot of people don’t like the increasingly blatant Umineko tie-ins, and that a lot of people still think it might just be misdirection, but considering how much stuff in Gou has been surprisingly straightforward and predictable, I think it’s pretty much exactly what it seems to be.

Though to be more specific, this is probably more about the start of Lambda and Bern’s relationship, and their appearances in Umineko, rather than the very first origins of them as individuals, if that makes sense. Obviously the concept of Bernkastel as an identity has been around since Higurashi itself, and we’ve known for a long time that Lambda was the one who originally gave Takano her blessing of certainty, but we’ve never known the full details of how those two started their relationship, and Featherine’s whole series of name-drops in the last episode makes it seem like Lambda as a meta individual more or less already exists, with Satoko being an iteration of her. So I think they both technically already exist, but this is how the two of them come into contact and start their whole unhealthily obsessive relationship.

I guess it’s still possible that, even if she’s already existed for a long time as a meta individual, she hasn’t actually come up with the name ‘Lambdadelta’ for herself yet, and this might be where she does so. Even with the list of names Featherine referenced, she didn’t technically bring up Lambda’s name directly. So in that sense this might be ‘Lambda’s’ origin story, even if she already exists.

Considering how basically the entire story at this point seems to be acting in service of setting up the whole LambdaBern relationship dynamic no matter what, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that this will end with Satoko and Rika fully embracing their codependency and mutually ascending to the meta plane so they can stay together once and for all. There might still be human versions of them that stay behind in the real world and continue living normal lives, though.

At the very least, it feels like that’s the logical outcome of the whole Chekov’s Sword Fragment plot device that’s been hanging in the background for ages now. I think it’ll just be the in-universe explanation they use to show the mechanics of how exactly that process works. It’ll probably be used to ‘sever’ Satoko and Rika’s meta consciousnesses from their physical bodies and allow them to basically become witches.

Mainly I just can’t really see this having a ‘happy ending’ at this point, aside from the whole idea that maybe the severing process leaves behind ‘normal’ versions of the two of them who stay in Hinamizawa and go back to their normal lives. I dunno if that’d make people happy, but it’d at least be a way for Ryukishi to have his cake and eat it too, lol.

I just don’t think that there’s any real chance of this ending with them just talking to each other and agreeing to put an end to all this, though. For one thing that’d just feel kinda anticlimactic and honestly make Gou’s story feel even MORE pointless, if it just ends with literally the exact same ending as the VN with nothing really being changed. But I also feel like Featherine wouldn’t be willing to just let Satoko ‘give up’ without having one of them definitively win their current game. In general I just feel like Ryukishi should just commit to the story he’s setting up at this point, instead of just backing out at the last minute and circling everything back to the same ending we already had like nothing in Gou ever happened. If we’re gonna have this whole new story to begin with, it should at least have some lasting consequences.

Anyway, I think in the next episode we’re finally going to loop back to the Damashi arcs and see how they played out. At this point I don’t care too much about getting answers to the ground-level mysteries of those arcs, and I doubt the story will spend much time on that, but I’m curious to see how it progresses Satoko’s whole development through these loops, since I think she goes through some changes with her motives and methods over the course of them.

Specifically I think that the actual experience of being physically present in her own set of loops and causing so much pain and suffering started to get to her, and she might have almost given up in her own way during Tataridamashi and wanted to just stay in that arc, but things went south anyway. Maybe, if that’s what happened, Featherine basically let her know that she won’t let her give up, and will force her to keep looping until one of them ‘wins’ no matter what. Either way, I think that arc was a turning point for her. Like how she asked Featherine to arrange things so that Satoko can make sure that she and Rika’s loops are synced up, she probably asked Featherine after that arc to change the rules again so that Rika will start remembering the details of her deaths. At this point it’s pretty obvious that the Hanyuu fragment Rika was talking to earlier in Gou was more or less just Featherine putting on an act and manipulating her, so the scene of Hanyuu giving her the power to remember her deaths was probably just Featherine telling her about the rule change.

And going by how the Nekodamashi arc went immediately afterward, I think that rule change was related to Satoko becoming increasingly desperate to put an end to the loops as soon as possible. And considering how she was willing to spend so much time reviewing Rika’s hundred years of looping just to prepare for this, it’d make sense to me if she becomes desperate because she basically gives up, but realizes that she isn’t actually allowed to give up, so she has to try and make Rika give in as fast as possible. Either way it’s pretty obvious that Satoko’s methods start becoming more violent in that arc, and she basically tries to brute-force Rika into submission, leading up to the loop where she just spawn-camps her and straight up starts screaming at her to just stay in the village while tearing out her guts. It’s still possible that her attitude in that loop was just one big act, but I think that was the result of her being genuinely desperate to just have Rika give up once and for all, and her starting to crack under the pressure of doing all of these things with her own hands across so many loops. 

So now we’ll just have to see how the confrontation between them at the end of Nekodamashi plays out once we get back to it. In the long run I just think it’ll lead to the ending I talked about before, with them using the sword on each other. The exact nuances of how that sorta ending might play out are up in the air, though.

Either way, I think there’s probably enough time to wrap up all that in two more episodes, but there’s still reason to believe that there might be some kind of sequel in the works. I don’t really want to bet on it, though, so I’m just gonna assume that there’s two episodes left and base my theories on that. In which case I think the next episode will go over the Damashi arcs and end with Rika and Satoko’s confrontation at the end of Nekodamashi, and then the final episode will wrap everything up. Considering that they both more or less know exactly what’s going on with each other by that point, there isn’t really that much that needs to be wrapped up. I think that will be the final loop we get, so it’ll all just come down to how their confrontation plays out, and what decision they come to about how to handle each other.

I honestly don’t really know how I think a full sequel would go, if it’s at least one cour long. Assuming that it’s not just a new Umineko anime that more or less continues Rika and Satoko’s arc via Lambda and Bern, but is a straight up ‘Higurashi Gou Season 2′. It just feels like there isn’t really that much that needs to be done to wrap things up, now that everything’s being laid out in the open, and Rika and Satoko are both aware of each other’s looping. They might switch it up so that they both end up teaming up to take down Featherine, but I kinda doubt that’ll happen.

I’m still hoping this is leading into some kind of new Umineko anime though, lol. That feels like it’d be the main reason for putting so much effort into this whole elaborate LambdaBern origin story we’re getting here.

I’ve heard rumors that there’s been listings for a 25th episode of Gou, so it’s possible that rather than another full season, there’s just one extra episode at the end. I’m not exactly sure what the point of doing one extra unannounced episode at the end would be, though. It might end up being a bridge between Gou and a new Umineko anime.

At the very least, if it’s just ‘Satokowashi Part 8′, it makes me wonder why they haven’t announced it yet, and why they didn’t just split that arc into two BD volumes with four episodes each, instead of having it be one big volume with seven episodes, and one random episode at the end for some reason. But if it’s more of an epilogue or a bridge of sorts between Gou and something else, with Gou’s story concluding with episode 24, then I guess it’d make some sense to do it that way.

We also know there’s gonna be a panel for Gou at a convention around when ep24 comes out, so if anything gets announced it’ll probably happen there.

Anyway, this whole episode can be summed up as “Satoko does a gay little psychological torture that pisses Rika off”, in the most morbidly entertaining way possible, lmao.

[masonscig]

about me tag game

rules: answer 30 questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

tagged by: i was tagged by a bunch of people so thank u to @lilas, @veeples, @admdmrtn, @agentsunshine, @echohauville and @masonsfangs for thinking of me !!! and im using the edited version by meg @/lilas !!!

tagging: @raleighcarrera, @pixeljazzy, @bravomckenzie and whoever else wants to do this !!!

name/nickname: jade / please is there really a way to give me a nickname... most people make it longer when they try LMFAOOO

gender: she/her

star sign: I AM AN ARIES WOMAN [virgo ↑ sagittarius ☽]

height: 4′10...................... anyways

birthday: march 29th [the way im about to have my second birthday in quarantine im absolutely SICK]

lucky number: none bc i have the worst luck on the planet. i like even numbers tho

when did you create this blog: i made this sideblog in like... june i think ?

what do I post: all twc – i reblog twc art, edits, and fics [even though i’ve been really terrible at that lately since i’ve been active in another fandom atm]. i post commissions of my own, occasional headcanons, shitposts, fics every once in a blue moon.... tbh im boring on here :/ sowwy

last thing googled: jared hess’s filmography [nacho libre / gentleman broncos supremacy]

do I get asks: occasionally ! i usually get them from my friends and forget to answer them [i am SO sorry rip to chrisha and esme and kat and becky and alicia and baylee..... yall are the vips i don’t deserve u]. and i get some prompts i never finish.... i love funny anons pls send sum of those

why I chose my url: bc i wanted something relating to mason! and since he doesn’t have a canon last name i had to choose something that was close enough for me. i’m genuinely obsessed w my url like i was FLOORED when it wasn’t copped SKDFKSDJ i don’t think i’d ever change it

*my current projects/wips: i have.... many wips bc ill have an idea and a basic passage and i’ll jot it down and take forever to actually finish it – the attached series is on hiatus for now while i write for another fandom, but i’m working on that, a spiritual sequel to another mason fic i wrote before, another mason fic, a felix fic w my new detective, and some prompts i might get to eventually. i am the literal worst at finishing wips LMFAOOOO

favorite bands: hmm i don’t listen to too many bands, so i’ll include rap groups, and girl groups! foster the people, pivot gang, the internet, bad suns, & two door cinema club, chloe x halle, city girls, and wu-tang clan !

favorite solo artists: buckle up biddies! these are my favs at the moment + some are my favs of all time – rihanna, megan thee stallion, bree runway, smino, tei shi, sza, flo milli, ari lennox, tinashe, slayyyter, cordae, schoolboy q, vince staples ... ok ill stop here

song stuck in my head: unrequited love by thundercat GOD it’s so good but haunting i LOVE it

favorite song: kiss it better by rihanna will always be my favorite song of all time no contest

last movie: don verdean bc i wanted to finish watching all of jared hess’s films ! 

last show: jojo’s bizarre adventure part 5 [i am a mista and bucciarati simp first, human being second]

favorite food: i love food and eating omg so this one is hard as hell

*food I hate: h*t d*gs and chili idk how the hell yall eat that shit

*favorite color: i really love mustard yellow and any deep green color !

*favorite animal: omg.... i love monkeys and dogs and cats... idk i love all animals tbh KSKDKKDFS

what I’m currently wearing: cotton shorts, a tank top, and my grandpa’s sweater [he passed last year and my grandma gifted a bunch of his old sweaters to me so it’s v comforting]

dream job: haha should i get existential here..... i genuinely don’t know what i’m supposed to be doing w my life SKJFDKSDJKJSD anyways !

dream trip: tokyo w my boyfriend !!!! we’ve been talking about it for years so i think it’d be the trip of a lifetime

*currently reading: i was trying to reread twilight but i got distracted LMAO [don’t worry i read my old copy from middle school i aint giving her any money]

*currently thinking about: finishing wips for an appreciation week i’m running, 

nationality: usa :/

*fun fact: during the first month or so i started dating my bf we were swimming at my house and i tripped over my sleeping dog and tore my knee up and i still have the scar to this day ! and we’re still dating almost 8 years later LMAOOO 

top three fictional universes: god im thinking more anime but i’d prob choose hxh or mha or any universe yuasa comes up with bc he writes women so well

[dailyniallnews]

Niall Horan on Elton's advice and touring with no trousers

In a world filled with tortured musicians making music about anxiety and depression, Niall Horan is an outsider.

Affable and charming, he arrives for our interview whistling The Beatles' Get Back, wearing a sweater as comfortable as his demeanour.

Plonking himself down on a hotel bed with a breezy, "how's it going?", the Irish singer reclines into a conversation about his new album.

Titled Heartbreak Weather, it was inspired by his break-up from a girlfriend, thought to be actress Hailee Steinfeld - but the star was determined not to make it a downer.

"I was just like, 'Come on, have a laugh, you can't go around moping," says the 26-year-old. "And it turned out to be the most fun I've ever had in the studio. A really fun year.

"And," he adds, "I'm gonna have so much fun doing the shows."

Optimism seems hard-baked into his outlook - but it could easily have gone the other way.

At the age of 16, Horan auditioned for X Factor, where he was absorbed into the boyband One Direction, becoming a household name almost overnight.

Between 2010 and 2016, they sold 50 million records and toured the world, pursued by devoted fans - some of whom would hack into hotel security cameras and write sexualised fiction about Horan and his bandmates.

Horan said his "childhood was cut short" by the experience, and there were times the lack of freedom became oppressive.

In 2016, the singer chastised a fan who'd taken a picture of him sleeping on a transatlantic flight. Last year, he told the Telegraph he developed "a fear of going out cos you'd get stopped every five seconds".

Things changed when the band went on hiatus. Horan took an extended break, "mooching around" on a back-packing tour of Asia ("a monkey stole my wallet," he recalls). By the time he returned, he was able to walk down the street unmolested.

But he refuses to holds a grudge against the fans that were his constant shadow for six years. In fact, he recognises the impulse to get close to your idols.

"It was like a circus," he recently said of his stint in 1D, but "I understand why people hang out outside of hotels".

These days, Horan has not just met his own musical heroes but he keeps them on speed-dial.

"Elton John's really supportive of my songwriting," he says. "And Don Henley, I send him bits and pieces [of music] and he'll absolutely, no problem, tell me if there's something wrong with them.

"But that's what you need. I mean, there's a reason I'm asking for help - because I'm expecting a bad answer. And if Don Henley has an idea to make the song better I'm like, 'Well, you wrote Hotel California so I believe you.'"

The sounds of his 70s soft-rock mentors reverberate through Horan's new album, most notably on the piano ballad Put A Little Love On Me.

Racier tracks like Small Talk and Nice To Meet Ya find the star showcasing a gruff and hitherto-unexplored baritone that, he admits, was borrowed from Elvis.

"Those songs came from a jam and that, in turn, invites sexier lyrics, for you to be a bit more vulgar," he says. "So I was getting into character and having fun and it ended up sounding like Elvis.

"But I'm not sure I'll be breaking out the rhinestone catsuit just yet."

The album is distinctly more uptempo than his folksy debut, Flicker (a US number one); a decision that was informed by two years on tour.

"I had a great time playing shows but the songs were quite chilled," he says.

"I was looking at faces in the crowd and you can see when people want to be sad - but then they also want to be jumping up and down, wrecking the place.

"I needed a bit more like jumping up and down and stuff."

He started writing the songs at his home in LA towards the end of 2018 - not because he had a burning desire to get back in the studio, but because he was cooped up at home after having surgery for a sinus problem.

"I just started messing around, you know?

"I'd be watching something on TV and I'd be singing something or I'd pick up a guitar and have a little tinker around and before I knew, I was writing full songs.

"I was like, 'Jesus, I didn't plan on this but it's happening.'"

The initial batch of songs were inspired by his break-up (he doesn't mention Steinfeld by name, and their relationship was never confirmed - but we're also instructed not to ask about her during the interview, so draw your own conclusions) but as the year progressed, the album took on a broader concept.

The idea was to "correlate my feelings with different weather patterns," he explains, with the album reflecting "all the different angles of a break-up".

Everywhere captures that feeling of "seeing your ex everywhere you go", while Arms Of A Stranger is about the inevitable rebound relationship.

Nice To Meet Ya describes "the egotistical part of the break-up where you want to go out and flirt and have a bit of a good time," but the album ends with a twist: "I'm still in love with you".

"So you start off with start a relationship, you wind your way through all these songs and that's the last thing you say," he says with a twinkle in his eye.

'Up for everything'

While promoting the album, Horan has deliberately cut loose from the po-faced "serious musician" image he projected on his first solo outing.

He announced the tracklisting via a fake weather forecast, dressed up as one half of The Proclaimers on James Corden's US chat show, and came up with the goofy storyline for his latest video, No Judgement.

The clip, directed by Drew Kirsch, features an elderly couple for whom personal boundaries are no longer an issue - whether that means eating mayonnaise by the spoonful in bed; or using the toilet while their partner is in the bath.

"I heard my granny talking about it: You get to a point in your relationship where nothing matters," explains Horan. "Old people don't judge each other at all because they've lived enough life to not care."

As if to prove it, he says that Barbara, the LA native who plays one-half of the video couple, didn't just embrace the scenarios he'd scripted, but suggested some of her own.

"She was like, 'By the way I can do a plank if you want,'" he laughs. "And she started planking in the middle of the garden.

"She was up for everything. She was having a great time."

Another person who seems to lack proper boundaries is Horan's long-time friend Lewis Capaldi - with whom he's touring the US next month.

After the shows were announced, Capaldi claimed the duo would take to the stage "bottomless," branding it "the no-pants tour".

"Is that what he said?" Horan exclaims. "I don't know what's wrong with him. I'll probably be wearing clothes."

But while the friends have been plotting a joint tour for a long time, Horan says they'll be forgoing a party lifestyle on the road.

"I'm big on value for money - and there's nothing worse than going to a gig and looking at someone that's tired or bored," he says.

"I have to perform for like an hour and 40 minutes, so I can't [go partying] every night. I'll be in the gym every day and Lewis said he's doing the same, so it's gonna be the chilled out version of us."

And if he takes care of himself, can he imagine playing stadiums in his 70s, like his mentors Elton John and Don Henley?

"I'd absolutely love to be there if the people will have me around," he says.

"That's what you want. You strive for legendary status and if you get it, you get it, and if you don't, well at least you tried."

Niall Horan's album, Heartbreak Weather, is out now.

[twelvemonkeyswere]

30 Questions

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Thank you @virareve!!! 😊

Name/nickname: Wendy / Wen, mostly

Gender: Female

Star sign: Aries

Height: 1.65 m, no idea how much that’s in feet lol

Birthday: March 28

Time: 6.30 pm

Favorite bands: The Killers, Gorillaz, Daft Punk, Mumford & Sons, Of Monsters and Men, Florence + the Machine...

Favorite solo artists: This one’s actually harder lol - I suppose Hozier, Orville Peck, Shakira, Natalia Lafourcade...

Song stuck in my head: I wrote “Shakira” and now I’m thinking about “Se Quiere, Se Mata.” It’s not one of her best but I listened to it this morning so here it is lol

Last movie: I feel like it must have been “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” My sister hadn’t seen it so I showed it to her. She liked it!

Last show: I just caught up on “Star Trek Discovery” today!!! Las full show I watched was “Cells at Work” with the fam, delightful stuff

When did I create this blog: 2011 I *think*

What do I post: lol the blog’s description says “everything I like is here.” I usually have stuff from the shows/movies I’m watching, art, quotes, some things about space, and animals. I also post stuff about myself or my fam or pets sometimes

Last thing googled: “cary grant faces arsenic and old lace” 😂 I didn’t find the one I was looking for though

Other blogs: I have a somewhat active sideblog called My Mom’s Garden, where I put pictures of my mom’s garden, our animals, or the sights we see in our trips

Do I get asks: sometimes, mostly when I reblog posts that are like “Ask me stuff!” From time to time I get some cute anons, for which I’m extremely grateful

Why I chose my url: I’ve said this a couple of times before but back in 2011 I was still learning English, and around the time I made the blog I had been thinking about Barney the Dinosaur’s song about twelve little monkeys jumping on a bed. I thought the line was “twelve monkeys were jumping on a bed”, but for some reason I thought it made sense to just say “twelve monkeys were” as an abbreviation or that it sounded cool. So I used that.

Following: 1,098

Followers: 1,147

Average hours of sleep: usually between 6 and 8

Lucky number: I’ve never really had one but when pressed I’ll go for 28 or 3

Instruments: Nope, zilch, nada. I’m a very boring person with very few tricks lol

What am I wearing: black booty shorts, a big gray jumper that says “yawn.” and flipflops

Dream job: writer

Dream trip: I’d like to visit some European countries with my fam or my best friend from high school. I still hope to visit my friend from the Netherlands some day!

Favorite food: chicken with mushroom sauce, preferably with a side of french fries and rice and green salad. I also like pizza and chocolate cake lol.

Nationality: Costa Rican

Favorite song: That’s probably The Killers’ “Read my Mind” or Gorillaz’s “On Melancholy Hill.” I’m kind of a sad person so most of what I listen to tends to be saddish too.

Last book read: Ooofff, I haven’t read books in full in a while. Terry Pratchett’s “Maskerade” appears to be the last I read. 

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: Discworld would be nice. I suppose Ingary, the one where “Howl’s Moving Castle” takes place, would be interesting to too. This is BY FAR the hardest question of the bunch because there’s places I’d like to VISIT but not LIVE IN. For the last one I’m going to go with Ooo, from “Adventure Time.”

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do it!!!

[bo-bo-bean]

Octonauts Game Night

(Since there are no requests, I wrote something for Octonauts!! Hope you all enjoy!)

(Warning; LOOOOONG)

Octonauts Game Night

It was a calm night in the octopod. Everyone was lounging around, nothing to do. Dashi went through her old photos while Captain Barnacles was watching the window, seeing fish and aquatic mammals flowing through the water in peace. He would typically be happy there was no trouble… but today felt oh so slow. Kwazii seemed to have agreed, letting out a long groan.

“There has to be some sort of adventure, matey!” he told no one in particular. Everyone only made a noise in agreement, Shellington looking up from his book that he has read for the fifth time today, giving a nod.

“I wish there was some sort of creature to examine, maybe a new seaweed. I’d even take a new type of rock…” he huffed out, his bang fluttering with his head tilting backwards.

“Now, Octonauts,” the captain settled everyone down. “I’m sure there will be something.”

“Well, let’s hope so,” Kwazii whined. “I’ll be ready for anything! Swashbucklin’ with the swordfish! Finding a new monster or beast!”

“That are fictional…” Shellington could only mutter under his breath. Captain Barnacles could now tell things were going to get tenser and tenser until a fight breaks out, so he made a decision, sprouting out words.

“Game night!” he clapped his hands. This got everyone’s attention, interests peeking. “Yes! A game night sounds wonderful…!”

“I agree!” Peso beamed, happy it’ll be something where no one would get hurt. But he had his first aid kit with him, just in case.

“Ah, what shall we play then? Checkers?” Professor Inkling offered.

“Charades, perhaps!” Dashi stood up, putting her camera down.

“Maybe pictionary!” Shellington beamed.

“Arrgh, lancing sounds like a suitable game!” Kwazii stood up on the table. Peso gulped and held his first aid kit close to his chest.

“M-maybe something less dangerous…?” he asked. “Like… hide and seek!”

“Ah, I’ll find ya’ll in under five minutes if we play that,” Tweak bragged a little. “I should suggest, tag, though! Get the blood pumpin’!” The mention of blood made Peso turn pale. Tunip chirped an option, all heads turning to Shellington for a translation.

“I don’t think we can play tug of war, Tunip,” he giggled. “We haven’t a strong enough rope.”

Everyone began to clamour about their opinion on what to play, the polar bear scratching his chin in thought, then his eyes lit up.

“Ah, everyone! Idea!” he shouted. His deep voice roared through their own voices, everyone turning to face him. “Deep Sea Adventure!” With those three words, everyone’s eyes lit up and all agreed. The vegimals went to make snacks with Shellington’s help, Kwazii and Captain Barnacles bringing out a large table from storage. Peso brought in a mat covered in squares, having the design of islands and villages and caves. Tweak and Dashi brought in the chairs, Mr. Inkling getting the rule boards and books from his library.

Deep Sea Adventure was a game played by the Octonauts many times. It was like a roleplaying game where they make their characters and their actions are depended on by two dice.

“Has anyone seen the dice?” Dashi wondered. Looking under the table. Everyone began to search around, Shellington even searching his own satchel, just in case. This gave Kwazii a gasp as he ran to his chest in his room. He dug through some old treasure maps, little gold doubloons, and his great grandfather’s Calico Jack’s telescope and eventually fished out some dice. He slid down the octotube and presented them as if they were some sort of rubies.

“I got some, me hearties!” he proclaimed. The vegimals cheered, Kwazii seeing a display of fish biscuits, five varieties of kelp cakes, muffins, a bowl of popcorn, another of peanuts, and mugs of cocoa scattered on the surface. “Well, this looks like a night fit for a pirate on his night off!”

“Well let’s start, shall we?” the bear clapped his hands again. We’ll need to split into teams of two.”

Shellington and Professor Inkling beamed at each other, high fiving each other with tentacle and paw. Barnacles nodded at them. “Shellington and Inkling are one. Kwazii, want to be on my team?”

“‘Tis be an honor!!” Kwazii nodded.

“I call Dashi on my team!” Tweak raised her hand, Dashi laughing, them both holding hands.

“Girl power!” Dashi cheered.

“Right on that!”

“And then Peso and Tunip?” Barnacles asked them. They both nodded, Tunip trilling with excitement.

“Do the other vegimals want to play?” Shellington asked the little creature. Turnip chirped and shook his head. “Ah, too busy gardening? Well, we’ll at least save them some snacks.”

“And the loot once the captain and I win it!!” Kwazii laughed.

“Ohoho, you want to bet, do you?” Inkling playfully jeered.

“Don’t think you want to take that bet, Kwazii,” Shellington giggled, taking his seat. Inkling took his seat next to him, them both already whispering.

“Well, let’s do our best and have fun, Tunip!” Peso cheered on his own team. Tunip cheered in agreement, taking a seat and Peso plopping himself next to him. Captain Barnacles sat at the front, Kwazii taking the chair next to him. Dashi and Tweak sat together as well and soon, everyone was quiet. Barnacles took out a cardboard folded five times mat and looked at it, looking at a scenario. He rolled the dice, counted it, and then nodded.

“Okay! Here’s the scenario,” he started. “Inkling and Shellington are holding the treasure.” Everyone turned their heads to them, the two laughing hysterically. “It’s up to us to get it while they can set up any traps or travel to wherever they want. But, it all depends on the number of dice rolled. 2 means failure, 3 going on to be a fail, but tried attempt, and so on. Twelve means they get automatic privileges to whatever they wish to do.”

“Aaargh, last time, didn’t they bamboozle us with a ship full of monkeys…!?” Kwazii groaned.

“Well, it was funny, so I’d say it was worth it,” Inkling added his input, making Shellington laugh more.

“R-remember when you wanted to fight but rolled a three…!?” he wheezed out. Kwazii’s cheeks and ears flushed with embarrassment. “You fell into the wahahahater hahahahaha!!!”

“M-mayhaps, matey!” He quickly gained composure. “Just wait, though! Soon, you will be fighting the monkeys!” This sent everyone into fits of laughter, the captain smiling. This was a wonderful sight, seeing his crew laugh and be happy. It truly warmed his heart. He looked at the mat and looked at Dashi and Tweak.

“If you two can answer a question about marine biology, then you will go first. But if you answer incorrectly, then someone else gets the chance to steal.”

“Shoot!” Dashi beamed. Tweak seemed as excitable as she was.

“What male aquatic animal has babies?” he asked. Shellington almost blurted out the answer, but covered his mouth. Of course, the marine biologist was close to bursting with knowledge.

“Um… I think… that’s a seahorse, right?” Dashi asked.

“Correct!” he nodded. “Everyone gather your pieces and Dashi and Tweak may.. Well… what’s your team name?”

“Girl Power!!” they both answered with glee. He chuckled and looked at Kwazii.

“We should call ourselves the Swashbuckling Pirates of Red Beard’s Cursed Ship of Treasures and Glory!”

“... maybe just Pirates of Red Beard will be suitable,” he chuckled, his attention focusing on Peso and Tunip.

“We’ll be the Small but Fierce!” Peso answered for them both.

“Ya got that right, matey!” Kwazii approved of their name. Peso giggled in response, Barnacles looking at Shellington and Inkling. They both whispered and then looked at the captain.

“We were going to say The Winners, but perhaps Marine Match will suit better!” Inkling proposed.

“Okay! We have team names! Get a piece everyone and let’s start!”

Girl Power took a pink squid piece, Pirate’s of Red Beard taking a red Seahorse piece, Small but Fierce taking a blue shark and the Marine Match grabbing a green Sea Turtle piece. Dashi and Tweak both talked as everyone set up their pieces. Inkling put their piece at the end of the mat where the X is since they had the treasure. The goal of the same was to defeat everyone on the board. The others were supposed to take the treasure.

“Okay, we want to move…!” Dashi said. She took the dice and rolled it, seeing seven. Tweak moved their piece seven squares. The dice also allowed movement, but you could only move and not act in the same turn.

“Oh, our turn, Tunip!” Peso smiled. “We’ll be safe and move.” Tunip took the dice in his little hands and tossed them down, getting a twelve. “Good roll, Tunip!!” The creature cheered as Peso moved their piece. Barnacles looked at Kwazii, who was the KING of Deep Sea Adventures.

“Captain, I say we launch an attack to the Marine Match!” he proudly said. Barnacles chuckled and nodded, grabbing the dice and tossing them within his paws.

“And how do we attack?” he asked. But, out of sheer luck, he knew the answer. “Canons?”

“H-how did you know!?” he gasped.

“Heh, captain knows his crew,” he winked, tossing the dice down.

“Also, you use the same move as the first move every time,” Dashi giggled.

“I-I do not!”

“Fifteen,” Shellington pointed out, holding up a piece paper, where at the top it said ‘Times when Kwazii attacked a team with a canon as his first turn.’ and underneath were fifteen talleymarks.

“Shiver me whiskers, that can’t be right!” Kwazii lifted his eyepatch in shock.

“... oh you’re right,” Shellington smiled, adding another talleymark. “Sixteen. Thank you for pointing that out..!”

The cat grumbled and looked at the dice as they chose a side. It rolled to… two.

“Canon backfires and hits the Red Beards. They deal five damage points.”

“What…!? I call treason!” Everyone laughed, even the captain and eventually, Kwazii joined along. Shellington took the dice and looked at Inkling, them both whispering.

“They are always the same team,” Dashi noticed.

“Well, they are the brains,” Peso smiled. “And they are very good at the game.”

“Oh, not this time, mateys!”

“We choose to make a barricade around our area,” Shellington smiled. “With concrete and bricks.”

Professor Inkling rolled the dice, rolling it to a nine.

“You both build a structurally sound barricade, but it will need nine hits to be taken down,” Captain announced. They both nodded and high fived each other.

“... aye… they be smart…” Kwazii scoffed. “We’ll need nine canon turns now!”

“Um, Kwazii, I think it would be smart, and safe, to use the rest of our turns not trying to kill ourselves,” Barny laughed.

“No risk, no win!”

“... big risk, big lose,” the captain corrected him. Kwazii groaned as Tweak rolled the dice.

“What should we do, Dashi?” she asked.

“Hmm… let’s go to the village by boat,” she smiled. “So let’s keep moving.”

Tweak tossed down the dice, getting eight and moving eight spaces. Just five more until the village. Kwazii took the dice, Barnacles speaking out before Kwazii could say canons again.

“U-um, how about we move, Kwazii?” he suggested.

“Ooouggh, fine, but we will get this booty if it’s the last thing I do…!”

He rolled, getting ten. They moved ten spaces, Peso rolling the dice. Tunip chirped, Peso glancing at Shellington.

“He wishes to attack us using a ram,” he answered, to which Tunip spoke to Shellington. “Heh, it’s alright, Tunip, no need to apologize. It’s just a game.”

With that permission, Peso tossed down the dice, getting ten.

“Ooh…!” Captain beamed. You ram into their barricade with success! Roll again to see how much you hit.”

Peso let Tunip roll, him getting three.

“Three hits, barricade is now down to six hits away…!”

“Ha! Now we only need SIX canons!” Kwazii laughed heartily.

“What is with ya and canons?” Tweak questioned. Shellington took the dice, the duo both whispering again and then nodded.

“Heh, sorry, Tunip and Peso, but we choose to attack,” Shellington spoke.

“With canons,” Inkling finished.

“My signature move!!” Kwazii yelled out. The otter tossed the dice down, rolling a twelve. Tunip fainted, Peso gasping.

“Hits are directed and do twice the damage. Roll again.”

Each team was given twenty health points, so it was a big risk. Inkling took the dice and rolled it, the sides each landing three. “Six, so Team Small but Fierce take twelve damage.” Tunip had just woken up to the news, fainting again.

“Grrrgh, pure luck, I say!” Kwazii made an excuse. Shellington giggled and tossed the dice to the girls.

“Well… we’ll get revenge, Kwazii!” Tweak laughed. “What do ya say, Dash?”

“I agree! We attack with clubs!”

“Haha, get them!” Kwazii cheered. However, the dice rolled to a four.

“You attempted to attack with clubs, but they fall in the water.”

“... well we tried,” Tweak shrugging, leaning back and munching on a carrot. Kwazii sighed, hearing Shellington’s giggle again. He sneered and took the dice.

“I attack with tickles!!”

“Ti-what?” Captain Barnacles blinked. Kwazii rolled the dice, not caring what it landed on and pounced on Shellington, squeezing his sides. The otter erupted in bubbly laughter, kicking his legs.

“K-Kwahahahzeeheehee hahahaha!! Staahaahahap it’s nahahaahaaht part hahahahahaaha!! Of the gaahahahahaame!!”

“It is now, me hearty!!” the playful cat moved his paws up to his ribs, Shellington squealing and trying to push away Kwazii.

“Nooohahahaha pleeheeheease!!! Hahahaahaha!!! C-cahaahan’t breheeheeheeheeathe!!!! Caahahahap hehehehelp!!”

Captain Barnacles laughed and went over, pulling Kwazii up from Shellington, who was lifted by Professor Inkling. He let out little giggles as Kwazii looked mighty proud of himself, sitting back down.

“... well that was our turn,” Barnacles chuckled.

“Are you okay, Shellington?” Peso wondered.

“Y-yeahahah…” he giggled out. Peso nodded, happy his friend was okay, and rolled the dice in his flippers.

“Tunip, I say we move closer,” he told the vegimal. Tunip nodded in agreement. Peso tossed the dice down, getting twelve again. “Flappity Flippers! Another twelve!”

“Ya got the lucky streak, me hearties!” Kwazii pumped his fist. They moved twelve spaces, close to a cave.

Inkling took the dice and whispered to Shellington, then he looked at his captain.

“Captain, we choose to fix our barricade.” Barnacles nodded as Mr. Inkling rolled a nine, the barricade now fifteen points strong. The polar bear took the dice and rolled it, deciding to move, Kwazii agreeing. So far, it seemed Peso was getting closer and closer to the treasure. The girls moved to the village and rolled to get items, which they succeeded.

“What did we get…!?” Dashi eagerly asked.

“Two apples, three suits of armor, an unknown box, and you both gained any health you lost.”

The two high fived with both paws, whooping. Peso rolled, looking at Tunip… and gulped.

“I want to explore the cave,” he said. “Or… we would.”

“You sure?” Captain Barnacles wondered. They both nodded, Peso rolling the dice down, it going to four.

“Hmm… you tried to explore, but it was too dark for you, so you evade the cave.”

Peso let out a sigh of relief, but also a little disappointed. Although, he knew what he was going to do next turn. Shellington took the dice, whispering to Inkling again, however, this whispering session seemed to be taking longer.

“I wonder what they’re planning,” Captain Barnacles wondered.

“I’ll tickle him again if he takes longer,” Kwazii promised. A few minutes later, they nodded and looked at the captain.

“We choose to stay.”

“Wh-all of that for staying!?” Kwazii gawked. Since they didn’t attack or move, they didn’t need to roll, but Shellington didn’t give the dice back.

“But we do wish to send supplies to heal Small but Fierce,” he smiled. Peso gasped with a smile, Tunip cheering. Captain Barnacles smiled fondly as Shellington rolled the dice, getting a nine.

“They get nine points in health…!” he announced.

“Wow… thank you, Shellington!” Peso smiled. Shellington nodded back.

Kwazii took the dice and looked at their piece and at the mat with the x mark. He tapped his chin.

“... captain, I say we attack,” he said.

“Again?” Barnacles wondered.

“Ah, but this time! I got a plan!” he beamed. “I want to attack.. With monkeys!!!!” With that, he threw the dice down, them tumbling around… and landing on twelve. Shellington and Inkling gasped, looking up as Barnacles was even surprised. He read out the situation.

“... well, we send out a boat of monkeys. They take down the barricade Marine Match make.”

“Drat…!” Inkling groaned.

Tweak quickly took the dice and rolled.

“We choose to attack with monkeys!!” she shouted. It rolled to a nine, Shellington and Inkling looking at each other.

“The Marine Match take nine damage!”

“We choose to attack with monkeys!” Peso also cheered.

“Oh, this seems hardly fair now…!” Shellington stuttered. Peso rolled the dice and got a twelve. Barnacles looked at the open mouthed otter and dumbo octopus, him shrugging.

“Marine Match are defeated.”

“Noooo!” Shellington yelled out. “Ah well… good team effort, Inkling!”

“And to you, Shellington…!” Professor Inkling shook his paw, wrapping his tentacle around it.

“The treasure is up for grabs…!” Barnacles proclaimed. "Everyone roll, except Shellington and Inkling.” They both shrugged, eating after all of that excitement. “Whoever gets the highest number… gets the treasure.”

“Me first!!!” Kwazii yelled, grabbing the cubes and tossing them haphazardly. They landed on five. “Haha, beat that, me hearties!”

Tweak took the challenge and rolled it, but got four. Barnacles rolled after, getting seven and Dashi getting six. Peso took the dice… but gave it to Tunip.

“I choose Tunip to roll for both of us…!” he smiled. Tunip chirped excitedly and rolled. They all watched the dice flail on its corners and sides… and land both sixes. Peso screamed in delight as Barnacles proudly announced.

“Team Small but Fierce wins the game!!!”

They all cheered and clapped, Barnacles chuckling and looking at the time. “Oh wow…! It’s near midnight!”

“It… it is?” Shellington checked before following with a yawn.

“Well, time passes by with fun…!” Tweak chuckled, stretching.

“Well, let’s clean up and then let’s head to bed. Congratulations, Peso and Tunip…!”

And so, everyone began to clean up, putting away the table and mats, Shellington and Tunip offering the rest of the snacks to the vegimals and everyone went to their rooms, but not before Kwazii turned to Barnacles.

“We’ll get ‘em next time, cap!” he pumped his fist. The captain chuckled with a yawn.

“Perhaps, Kwazii, perhaps,” he smiled. “But… maybe less canons and tickling, hm?”

“I’ll think about it.”

He left, the captain laughing and turning off the lights and heading to bed. There may have been no critters to save… but they sure did have an adventure.

@fading-bisexual-queen-milkshake

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Lariope and welcome to Behind the Quill, it is a pleasure to talk with you.

Many of our group’s members requested you as an interview subject, but amongst more than a dozen stories in the HP universe you are probably best known for Killing Time, Second Life, and Advanced Contemporary Potion Making.

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name?  

So, there's a really common plant in my area called Monkey Grass. Most people use it as landscaping filler. I thought it was pretty and asked someone who had some what it was called. She told me that it's technical name is Liriope, which I heard as Lariope. This was around the time that book 6 was released, and it struck me as a very witchy name, particularly as JKR likes flower names. Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? Wow. Probably Neville. I'm certainly not as brainy or as confident as Hermione, not as out-there as Luna, not as athletic as Ginny. I'm less angsty than Harry and less apt to charge off in my own direction. And I am certainly not as thoughtless as Ron, not as strict as McGonagall, not as dark as Snape. And if you've read Second Life, you know my feelings about Dumbledore! But I was someone who took some time to come into my own. Often bumbling or nervous, but when my back is to the wall, brave and honorable. So I'm going with Neville. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) 

I love fiction, but honestly, other than Harry Potter, I don't read fantasy! I tend to like "domestic" fiction, as in Anne Tyler, and literary fiction. I also really love Stephen King, oddly enough. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? 

By classic do you mean like, the literary canon, or just not fanfiction? My top five favorite novels are, in no particular order, The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, It by Stephen King, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon, The Temple of Gold by William Goldman, and The Secret History by Donna Tartt. I'm not big into the classics, which is weird for an English major to say. At what age did you start writing? 

I've been writing all my life. The first time I saw Stand by Me at 11 years old, I rewrote it with a new ending because I could not bear the death of Chris Chambers. I think I've always been interested in working with other people's texts. How did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I loved Harry Potter so intensely. I came to it as an adult at a particularly lonely time in my life. When book 6 was released I read it all in one gulp, and then felt kind of despondent when it was over. I thought of the good old rule of the internet, that if it exists, there is porn of it, so I went looking for what I called "Potterotica," figuring that it would give me an opportunity to read more about the characters I loved. I didn't yet have a concept of fanfiction, let alone fanfiction that wasn't erotica! As I read, I had the persistent feeling that I hadn't yet found exactly the story I was looking for. I kept feeling that I would do this or that differently. Then after the release of book 7, I was tormented by the fate of Snape. I really felt I needed to save him. That I couldn't relax until he'd had some love in his life before his death. I didn't have the sense yet that I could change his fate, only that I needed him to have happiness and love before he died.  I have a Master's Degree in fiction writing, so I decided to just give it a try. My first story was terrible!!! It was called If Memory Serves and was archived only on the Restricted Section. But it definitely forced me to reawaken some skills, and whetted my appetite. What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? 

Hm. I'm not sure how to answer this question. I know that one of the things that I respond most strongly to in fic is a feeling of inevitability--that regardless of how or when, these characters had unfinished business with each other. I hate to use the word destined... but that feeling that there were many points in canon where something minor could have changed which would have changed everything and brought two characters together--and that that could have happened at any point, in any number of ways. I like very much when canon is reimagined or reinterpreted to make that relationship deeper--like reimagining the scene where Snape insults Hermione's teeth to have a totally different meaning in the context of their relationship. I think I am remembering Somigliana's The Traveller being particularly gratifying in that way. Obviously I play with canon a lot in my own work. I like for fanfiction to feel "real" as in, possible in a canonical context. What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? 

Almost none! I've been fannish all my life, but Harry Potter was the first experience I ever had of "fandoms," that is to say, community built around a narrative. I usually just freaked out over things in private. After HP, I tried very hard to get into the Sherlock fandom, because I had a dear friend from the SS/HG community who was into it, but in the end, I could just never become invested in quite the way I had with Harry Potter. Subsequently, I had children, so I mostly support their fannishness now. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? 

I wish Snape could live. I really do. He had a lot left to learn and a lot left to give to the world beyond the sacrifice of his own life to the cause. There are certain things I have ultimately accepted as head canon, as far as pieces of fanon are concerned. Honestly, they are so ingrained that I'm having trouble thinking of any! Sometimes when I watch the movies with my kids, I think, but wait, what about?... oh yeah, I forgot that wasn't canon. Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? 

I need dead silence to compose, because I hear the words in my head as I write and I can't be distracted from them. But I often pick pieces of music that I listen to obsessively in my downtime when I'm writing a story, that I think of as sort of like theme songs. Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova was one for Second Life. Table for Glasses by Jimmy Eat World still calls up Dark Santiago for me. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? 

Oooh. Ok. So I read a lot of Drarry, and I pretty much love everything that Sara's Girl has ever written. Somigliana's work--the Traveller was amazing. All the Best and Brightest Creatures by Wordstrings (Sherlock). I also really loved greywash's Sherlock fic. There was an SSHG that has been long since removed that was called Dear January--I still think of it.  I loved all the epics of my particular time in the SSHG fandom. Mia Madwyn, Subversa, Loten. Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process? 

Definitely a plotter. I kept pages and pages of working notes and planning points as I was writing Second Life. I always began a chapter with a working document of where I thought the chapter was going, as well as a reread of that portion of canon.  Points of discovery along the way still happened all the time--I'd be in the midst of something I had planned when all of a sudden I'd see some point of connection I hadn't even thought of, and something would open up bigger than I had thought it would be. I remember in particular the end of the Bathilda Bagshot chapter of Second Life, when Snape is running toward James and Lily's house and feeling like time is doubling back on itself--I didn't see that parallel until I was in it.  I think you always have to have room to surprise yourself, even in the thick of your planning. That sense of discovery affects the reader's journey through your work. What is your writing genre of choice? 

Haha, fanfiction is my writing genre of choice. No, I wrote short stories when I was pursuing my degree in fiction, which is kind of hilarious now, as I became sort of known for my long-windedness. Why say 100 words when 10,000 would do? I grew to love the novel during my time in fanfiction. It would be hard to imagine turning back to a shorter form now. But who knows. I always tell myself that once the children are grown I will get back to writing. I was beginning a sort of cross between fantasy and domestic fiction when I had children and I still think the idea has legs. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? 

Oh, different ones for different reasons. I think Dark Santiago is the most structurally tight and sound thing I've ever done. Second Life is like a miracle that it even happened, that I was able to control such a behemoth and bring it home. I was terrified the whole way. And weirdly, there's a drabble series that is called The Sins of Severus Snape that I am still really proud of. I think of those like linked poems. A real exercise in being concise for someone who likes to sprawl all over the page. Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?  

I think I've pretty much covered those questions in all my ramblings. I knew the general structure, I was happily surprised along the way, and I learned to write novels from writing fanfiction, Second Life in particular. How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? 

There's not a lot of personal parts of the story to me in Second Life. I mean, every character is drawn from me, in a way, just because they come into being informed with my way of looking at and understanding the world and other people. But there isn't a lot in there that echoes my experience. Advanced Contemporary Potion Making was personal, and I think you can feel that in the story. It takes the biggest step away from canon. It wasn't hard to write, but it was hard to live. And now, as I look back, I have a different perspective on my life and on the story itself than I did at the time that I wrote it. What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? 

Oh man, Stephen King is all over my writing. I don't think I've ever written a sex scene that didn't have a grain of that scene in the sewers of It inside it. Not because of the child thing--I know that skeeves people out about that scene--but because in it, Beverly discovers the power of sex--sex as a force, a life-giving force, something with teeth. I think that idea shows up a lot in Second Life. I like fiction in which you are very much inside the character's heads, and I think that's apparent in my writing. I think I got that initially from Stephen King, who leaps around inside his different character's heads sometimes in the same paragraph! I also think the theme of unending loyalty, the power of friendship, the triumph of good over evil--those are very Kingian themes that I recognized in Potter and then carried into my own writing. Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? 

Yes. That wasn't always the case. During the time that I was active in the fandom, I was a young elementary school teacher, and I dreaded anyone finding out that I wrote sex scenes with children's book characters. I was very private about my fanfic then, and even a few of my closest real life people did not know. My parents still do not know. My children are teenagers now and into fanfiction in their own right; they know I wrote it, but they don't know my ship or my pen name. My husband has read most of Second Life. I recently started a new job, and during one of those "get to know you" games, I was asked to share something that other people wouldn't guess about me. I said that I had once been a fanfiction writer. How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

Mmm. I wrote the stories I wanted to read. Do you know what I mean? I wrote things because that's how I wanted to see them, how I wished they were, and I wrote to my own preferences. But writing in real time, for people who were actually reading and responding--that was crucial to the process. My biggest fear during the writing of Second Life was that I wouldn't finish it, or that I would lose control of it and it would become crap. "Breaking the story," I used to say, and I was terrified of breaking the story. But the fact that there were people experiencing it with me and waiting for it, reacting to it, and giving insightful feedback--that helped keep me very focused and motivated. I never wrote something because I thought it would be appealing to others, but I was so gratified that what I wrote did appeal to others. How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? 

I had a LiveJournal and although I was not a frequent poster, I read my friends list every day during that time. I read what everyone else was reading and talked about the stories and themes that everyone else was talking about. I made a number very close friends during that time--other authors, people who were reading my stories and commenting. We talked on the phone frequently, and I had a team of beta readers. I went to conventions. I participated in the ss/hg exchange. A lot of those people were my audience, were reading my stories. And many of them became my good friends. I had a policy to answer all reviews when I was writing Second Life, and I did that until I was unable to do it anymore. When I had multiple stories it got much harder. That community changed a lot toward the end of my time in it. People were leaving LiveJournal, and Tumblr was on the rise, which felt like a much bigger pond. AO3 was replacing the smaller archives on which I had really grown as a writer. And once the movies were over and there was no more "fresh canon," people started to drift away. I do think that I might have lasted longer if that tight knit community had stayed in place. It played a big role in my commitment to my work and continued enthusiasm. As a side note, one of the friends I made in the SS/HG community is still my best friend. She is the "aunt" to my children, and we still talk on the phone weekly and visit at least yearly. What is the best advice you've received about writing? 

If you want to write, then write. Make a routine. Write a certain number of words a day. Read them out loud to yourself. You'll hear your own bad habits and improve them.

What do you do when you hit writer's block? 

If I'm already in a project, I will force myself to write a certain number of words per day. I will hold a scene that I'm longing to write out in front of myself like a carrot. Like, if you write this transition part that feels yucky and like you are stuck in it, then you can write the big reunion scene that you know is coming. If I'm not in a project... well, then I don't get through it. I just don't start a new project.  If I need to write a story, as I did during graduate school or during the ss/hg exchange--I would do this thing one of my professors suggested--pick three headlines, words or ideas that have interested you over time and force them into the same story. Dark Santiago was that way. I had the prompt of fortune telling. I added an idea about the way magic works for muggleborns and the ocean town where I was living. Voila: Dark Santiago.   Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? 

I'm sure it has in ways I can't even see. I remember once talking to a friend on the phone about Second Life as I was writing it, and she pointed out that the fact that I'm a Quaker was informing the story--like my own perspective on war and the horrors of violence were bleeding into the the kind of philosophy of Second Life. Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? 

I don't. I wish I did! I often miss my time in fandom, the spirit of creativity and community, all those ideas just bubbling out in every direction. Any words of encouragement to other writers? 

I don't believe that the end goal of fanfiction is to become a published writer, just as I don't think every guitarist has to have the goal of selling out a stadium, or every golfer has to want to compete in the Masters. I think you can love a thing without making it your livelihood. You become a "real" author the minute someone else reads a story that you wrote. Many of you reading this right now are people who made me an author. It is, as Stephen King once wrote, a kind of telepathy. I thought of something once, in 2008, in the southeast of the US, and you can read it right now wherever you are, and experience the thoughts and feelings I was dreaming up then. It's a wonderful gift, writing. And working among people who are dedicated to improving their craft and talking about stories and ideas--that is just the very best ground for making something that makes YOU proud. Thanks so much for giving us your time.  

Thank you! I am really honored to be asked

[heartcravings]

50 Questions Tag!

@jongin-be-my-jagi​ tagged me for this a while ago, but I took my sweet time to answer. Here is my secret intel if you want to know me a little bit more!! Check hers as well, she’s an amazing writer and friend. 1. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr, my stupid procrastination prone brain and my thesis. 

2. What makes your day better? Friends and loved ones, music and these absolute dorks (Channie especially) 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I hopped on the mat today in the early hours of the morning, rain on my window and the neighbours cat peeking at me from his window across the street.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Wonderland, bacause it’s “curiouser and curiouser!”

'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar.  Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

5. Are you good at giving advice? I think so. Not so good at following my own advice though.  I do always consider where the other is standing and if I don’t know how to proceed then I’ll just be honest and say I can’t help. But i’ll always listen with my heart. 

 6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Not diagnosed. I do think i might be going through something now. 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, but i have a recurring nightmare: the world is made of black and white paper thin layers. I am a paper thin person walking along a street surrounded by paper thin buildings. I walk for a long time, looking up at the white sky. Until the street ends, there is no more building and i fall into the abyss of a blank page.  I have had this dream since the age of 8 or 9 years old. Fear of not being good enough, you say?! Ding, ding, ding!! We got a winner in the back!  8. What musician inspired you the most? I get inspired by music all the time!! One of my all time favourite songs is Spanish Sahara by Foals. Its sublime!

So I’d say I’m mainly inspired by these artists: Queen, Arctic Monkeys, Foals, Radiohead, Bowie, Daughter, Bob Dylan, Beirut, Yeah yeah yeahs, Arcade Fire, The National, Joy Division, Blur, Warpaint, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Chet Baker, The Cure, Courtney Barnett, The Maccabees, Car Seat Headrest, Florence + The Machine, Editors, Kasabian, Crystal Fighters, Death Cab for a cutie, The Doors, Efterklang, Explosions in the Sky, Franz Ferdinand, The Horrors, James Blake, José Gonzalez, Los Campesinos!,  Metronomy, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Patrick Watson,  Phoenix, Sharon Van Etten, The Shins, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, St.Vincent, The Strokes, Toro y Moi, tricot, Tune-Yards, TV on the radio, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, The War on Drugs, Wild Beasts and Yo La Tengo.

And the electro, pop and hip-hop groves of my heart: EXO, 2NE1, Janelle Monáe, Big Bang, Kris Wu,LCD soundsystem, SBTRKT, Childish Gambino, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar and Daft Punk. 

And special mentions to the portuguese ones (learning from yixing and promoting when i can :P): Capicua, Joana Espadinha, The Legendary Tigerman, Linda Martini, Mayra Andrade, Noiserv, Ornatos Violeta, Paus, Samuel Uria, You Can’t Win Charlie Brown and The Silence 4. I know, tldr right? Sorry folks! 9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes I have. I have mistaken a crush for love too. But i have definitely been very deeply in love. A wrecked kintsugi heart over here people! 10. What’s your dream date? I don’t think I have one. I’d love to do something unique with that someone special, something special for the two of us. It could be as simple as riding the subway while sharing earphones & listening to our playlist or walking the dogs out! Idk, I’m easy to please. But right now it would have to be with this handsome man :D pretty please?!

11. What do others notice about you? I am very kind and warm hearted, so I think that’s what people first notice when meeting me. Although I maintain good eye contact, I am also timid and will be quieter if there are very energetic people in the group. When alone, I usually take the first step and try to meet people, but only if i really must.  12. What’s an annoying habit you have? It’s really hard for me to ask for help. I also like to tell detailed descriptions of everything... Couldn’t you tell? 13. Do you still talk to your first love? I’ll text him on his birthday and he does the same to me. We met when we were 10 years old and that childhood friendship remains. But regarding my one and truly deep relationship, no we do not talk, unless we randomly meet.

14. How many exes do you have? I have three exes. The first love who was just an idealized crush on my childhood friend: we dated for 2 weeks during summer break xD Then my first real boyfriend, we met in my first year at university, dated for quite some time, he really loved me and made me love myself a little more. Finally the one i loved too much. I mended his wounds and made him love himself as much as I did. I always say all the love we feel makes our hearts grow bigger. I do not regret loving any of them, I am me now due to them and I would not change it if I could. 15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have way too many playlists for each and every mood... But my favourite songs list on spotify has about 1500 songs! uwu!  16. What instruments can you play? Triangles and flute?! I had mandatory music classes in school... so in reality I can’t really play a instrument...

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Probably my cat, Sushi. With a second close of my doodles and sketches. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die? EVERY WHERE!!! But I really want to go to Japan and Scotland and Iceland and South Korea and New Zealand and i’ll shut up. 19. What’s your zodiac? Capricorn. 20. Do you relate to it? Sort of.

21. What is happiness to you? You know when it’s really cold outside in the winter and you manage to find a sheltered place where no wind can hit you and you still get to feel the warm rays of the winter suns on your skin? You hear the birds outside and you are contempt in that moment, at peace. That is happiness to me.   22. Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I am a bit lost. Trying to finish my thesis and trying to find what I want to do after. It’s liberating but also pretty scary. 23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? It’s a series of small decisions really. It started with going for a phd with the same people i worked in my msc. Should have gone to a different place. Then deciding to come home after a traumatic loss in the family. Should have kept my life going but I stalled it then. (I don’t regret helping my loved ones though).

24. What’s your favourite store? Probably Wishtrend for beauty stuff. Other than that I don’t have any favourite brands/stores. 25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion? I think everyone is free to decide what they want or need to do. I couldn’t possible judge. If I would it? Probably not.

27. Do you have a favourite album? I don’t think so, I have favourite tunes for different moods and moments in my life. But if threatened with my life, I’d maybe say Total Life Forever from Foals.

28. What do you want for your birthday? It’s such a long time until my birthday comes! But maybe a real EXO ot9 reunion as a goodbye to Minseok?

29. What is most people’s first impression of you? Friendly and easy to open up to, i think.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? In real life, people usually think I am way younger than I am.  31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping? In the crook of my bed, between the mattress and the bed frame.

32. What word do you say the most? No idea really! 33. What’s the oldest age you’d date? 40s? I don’t think too much about age actually. 

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date? 20s? Again not very important to me. Love is love, whomever, whenever and wherever <3

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you? I don’t know! People always say i don’t totally fit in anything... so there’s that. If you have an idea please let me know! 36. What’s your favourite music genre? Go back to question 8. I listen to everything! :D 37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I’d like to live around the world, every few months a different place and get to know different cultures.

38. What is your current favourite song? I’ve been obsessed with RM’s intro/teaser song, Map of the Soul: Persona. (I’m not even a bts fan, but this music and lyrics just touched me a lot.)

39. How long have you had this blog for? I think for about 6 years? It’s my personal space, where I dump all my obsessions.  

40. What are you excited for? I’m visiting some friends in Granada in a couple of weeks. Yay, tapas!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Normally I am a better listener. But there are a few people to whom i open like a book. Either words flow right out of me without even thinking or they see throw me. Those truly are my people.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Prepped meals and cleaned the kitchen. Open the folder and file of my thesis. Read the latest chapter I wrote.  43. What do you want for Christmas? Well, just like for my birthday, there is still such a long time to it! But let’s say i want to have already finish this part of my life and want to find my next adventure.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? No more exams! Ehehe! But I used to have good grades at everything. Physical Education was my lowest mark i think.

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now? Right now, a 4? I have a headache.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Smiling? :D I want to be happy in my own skin. To feel contempt in my life, doing something that gives me a sense of purpose and having time to share and enjoy with my friends and family. 47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Oh my kintsugi heart has been broken quiet a lot. By friends and lovers and even by myself. I keep patching it up with gold dreams though.  48. At what age do you wanna be married? I will only want to be married if i find the one. So until then I guess. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be an astronaut and a ballerina. Preferably both!

50. What do you crave right now? Just sitting somewhere and listening to Yeol play the guitar.

Well i finished it! :D I’ll tag @thedeviousdo @ohsenhun @hongseok and @paepsi. I’d love to read yours! Feel free to dismiss it though, it is quite a lot.  Lots of love everyone!! <3 <3 <3

[not-poignant]

hi Pia, hope you're having a beautiful day! can I ask how you got into writing? sorry if it's already been asked/answered, but did you start it as a hobby? when did you realise that was something you wanted to dedicate yourself to? did you get swept up in it or did you slowly reach the point where it was like 'huh, this is something that's happening'? Pia/Writing is my fave pairing, please tell us more

I mostly got into writing as a form of childhood escapism - and that started through ‘reading as a form of childhood escapism.’ :D

I had devoured most of the books in our primary school library early, which also left me out of stories until I discovered the public library, so making up stories, and writing them down, seemed a pretty natural step?

I flipped back and forth between wanting to be a writer, an artist, a scientist, etc. I didn’t pursue writing seriously at all though in highschool. I focused on art. In my spare time I sometimes wrote things. I don’t think I thought much of having a 60,000 word science fiction story by the age of about 13 (just as my Mum didn’t think much of throwing it away, which was the only copy I had, lol). I just liked to ramble a lot. As...everyone knows. e.e

I don’t think I really started to get serious about writing until university, where I started taking Creative Writing electives (and was publishing very tame Harry Potter fanfiction on the side, at sites like Schnoogle) at university, and then Scriptwriting electives when I seemed to do well at the Creative Writing stuff. Tbh even at university, I was more serious about poetry and scriptwriting, than I was about creative writing like short story or novels. I didn’t really think it was a future, like ‘oh that’s nice but no one makes any money off that unless you’re a complete outlier.’

Idk why I was being so judgemental given my main degree was Media Studies and Mass Communications and boyo let me tell you that there is SHIT money in that, unless you teach it or go work on a censorship board, lol. Wtf was I thinking, for reals.

Also my first writing group was me, a surfer dude who was unexpectedly ripped and really quite nice to look at, and an ultra-Christian Mormon, and another person who never turned up. We all rocked up at the Brass Monkey (a well-known pub in Northbridge, near our city), we got our respective drinks (back then I used to drink, and so I used to mainly drink Guinness) and nachos or chips, and then we kicked back and read the most pretentious poetry on the planet to each other.

It was kickass.

No, Elliott’s backstory in The Wind that Cuts the Night is not remotely autobiographical I have no idea where you got that idea...

And even then I still didn’t really pay much attention to it. I wrote a novel called Every Day Awake (which I need to edit but may actually publish one day, it’s a queer literature love story and one of the characters is demisexual before I knew that existed as a term, the other character was sex addicted, but my sad gay/bi boys got a happy ending) and I wrote one Misfits fanfic and one Mysterious Skin fanfic, and a bunch of really bad Glee fanfics... (*hangs head*) but I still didn’t really take it seriously until I got majorly burned out on my professional art career, quit unexpectedly, took two months off where I thought ‘my life is stupid what am I going to do,’ and then unexpectedly (really fucking unexpectedly) poured all of that bullshit into a fanfic called From the Darkness We Rise.

After that, I’ve been taking it really seriously. :D Though I didn’t start thinking ‘huh this is something that’s happening’ until people actually really seemed to like my writing, because that was weird. Game Theory was probably the first time I ever thought I could do something with my writing. Before that, I’d won a few short story / poetry awards, but a person cannot live off poetry and short story awards.

(Also, reading and writing are still my two favourite forms of escapism, lol).

[tlbodine]

20 Character Design Questions

A blend of RP & writing/story characters, as requested (and as applicable). 

-----

🕸 1. Who’s the oldest character of yours that you still use?

Davin & Co. from the House of Lazarus books are like 13 years old now, which is mind-boggling. A lot of things about them have changed (like making them zombies), but at their core the Davin/Randy/Zoe dynamic hasn’t changed much at all since the first time I ever tried to write a story about them. 

But here’s a fun fact: Davin actually pre-dates that by a couple of years. He was ORIGINALLY designed for a very short-lived RP circa ~2000-ish. When I got a novel idea in college, I snagged the first available semi-fleshed-out-character I had in order to test it, and he just kind of stuck around and grew from there. 

⭐️ 2. Who’s the oldest character of yours, defunct or not?

Does my imaginary friend from childhood count? Because I wrote a (terrible) book about her when I was 9, so I feel like that should count ;) Her name was Tinky and she was a ‘tigercat’ and family members can confirm that I was talking about her (and blaming things on her) by the age of 2. 

💡 3. Has creating a character ever made you realize something about yourself?

Not exactly. It’s more like, sometimes a character will help me understand something that I never thought I would sympathize with - like where certain types of people are coming from, why they do certain things. Character creation has become in some ways an act of empathy. 

🦋 4. Any minor characters that have either taken over or branched off into their own stories?

Frequently. Most memorably, Jetak (from Nezumi’s Children) demands a sequel. There’s a tie-in planned for his story, although it may be a bit delayed because the market for more Nezumi books just isn’t that huge (although the handful of fans I have are rabid, and I love them <3) but it’s definitely going to happen. 

🐲 5. Do you prefer to make human, animal, monster, or _____ characters? Why?

My RP roots are all animal characters (sparkle dogs ftw!) and they come to me pretty naturally. That was another thing that was fun about Nezumi’s Children, it was such a lovely guilty pleasure writing these rat characters - such a callback to my younger years. 

But for purposes of my serious writing, I pretty much have to stick to humans, or at least humanoid variations. 

🎨 6. When creating a character, do you come up with the visual concept or the written concept first?

A little of both, to be honest. Usually I’ll have a vague idea of a concept in mind, and will play around with a dollmaker or look at stock photos or something similar until the idea “clicks” in my head. Until I put some kind of visual to them, they’re not quite real. 

📌 7. Do you have characters that you know you’ll never use, but can’t bear to get rid of/recycle?

Whole stacks of them ;) Mostly they just roam around in the back of my mind, and sometimes I’ll think “Oh man, what if so-and-so did this?” and daydream about it for a bit before getting on with my day. A lot of books-I-probably-will-never-write percolate back there, too, so every so often I’ll get flashes of an idea and it just sort of makes me smile before I go back to doing whatever I need to do with my day. 

💖 8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had?

I like to think that Ulryk, my wolf-guardian, is all the best parts of myself: loyal, patient, self-assured, calm, logical, doesn’t take himself too seriously. He’s an old, old character too. I think I’ve had him around since I was 11, and maybe one day I’ll actually have a story I can properly use him in. 

💔9. Is there a character that embodies your bad traits? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

I have a tendency to create a certain type of villain - a string-pulling mastermind who works in the shadows and gently manipulates stronger people into doing his bidding. It’s probably my favorite villain trope, and I have several characters who fit the bill. And it is absolutely a personification of many of my, uh, less than savory INTJ mastermind traits. 

♨️ 10. Is there a character that explores your interests or fetishes (orrrr is that just all of you characters)?

In an RP setting, once I’m comfortable with the world and have made the “obvious” characters for the community, I will invariably start making characters because I want to explore something about a particular type of person or situation. I find something to be interesting, and I want to play with it and tease out its themes and explore it. 

✒️ 11. If you have characters that embody certain traits of yours—good or bad—has writing them changed how you view those traits? Has it affected you in any way?

I think I’ve grown more accepting of many parts of myself, by falling in love with characters who reflect some of those things. I think I’ve always felt a little bit of pressure to be a certain way, to do certain things, and having characters who go against that - but who are still lovable, still interesting - has helped make me more comfortable in my skin. That’s kind of a weirdly “feel good” answer from someone who writes seriously dark shit a lot of the time, but it’s the truth. 

💭 12.  Do you fantasize about being any of your characters, or are you more detached?

Nah. I wouldn’t want to be any of these people, especially if some asshole like me were pulling the strings. Bad things happen to my characters. And most of them are pretty broken or dysfunctional or damaged. Which is true, I guess, of most people too. 

🎵 13. Do you create playlists for your characters?

I make playlists for writing projects - specific books/stories will have playlists that represent whole plotlines and aesthetics. Individual characters usually only get one real theme song, sometimes a couple. 

The House of Lazarus playlist can be found here. Davin’s theme song has always been “Walking In My Shoes” by Depeche Mode. 

🎇 14. When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get into the right mindset?

Not usually. If they’re characters I’m familiar with, I can generally slip into them pretty easily. If I’m writing, I usually have the appropriate playlist up, which helps bring me back to the story. If I haven’t touched a project in a while, reading over old work will help get me back into it. 

Certain characters I have to avoid playing at certain times, though, because they’re emotionally difficult to deal with. Curiously, it’s never that my darker characters bring me into dark places; it’s always that, if I’m in a bad headspace, I just can’t play some of my more happy-go-lucky characters properly. 

🌻 15. Which character is your guilty pleasure?

I don’t think I necessarily feel ‘guilty’ about any of my characters (the entire notion of “guilty pleasure” is kind of weird, imo) but I have a few characters I probably enjoy playing more than I should. Lately my changeling Sluagh Charlotte has been that for me. She is just such a mess, and so psychologically screwed up, in such utterly fascinating and terrible ways. 

🌩 16. Is there a character of yours who’s a real struggle to write/draw? Why do you think that is?

I actually have two RP characters who I have an incredibly hard time writing, which is funny because 1.) they’re favorites of the friends I play them with and 2.) they’re really not particularly complex or psychologically difficult characters. 

One of them is Bee, who is part of a sibling group I play with @leapinghart. Bee is self-confident, utterly lacking in self-awareness, and optimistic to the point of self-delusion. She’s also not that bright. 

The other is Jadin, who I play with @comicreliefmorlock in her World of Darkness-inspired city, Brandenburg. He’s kind of the universe’s butt-monkey, the kind of guy who just keeps landing in shit, and he suffers from a lot of foot-in-mouth disease from saying exactly the wrong thing. 

In both cases, I always struggle with keeping the characters true to themselves without letting them stray too far into joke territory. 

🔑 17. Which character is the easiest to draw/write?

Any of my ‘evil mastermind’ guys, but only if I’m in a position where I actually get to pull strings - a piece of my own fiction, or a pre-plotted RP. They’re incredibly stressful to play in an open-world RP type scenario because you can never count on other players to acknowledge your character’s intelligence, insight, or charisma. 

For an individual character, my girl Lungaia - in any of her myriad forms - is super easy to slip into. We have a lot in common, and I’ve been playing her (a LOT, she’s a “favorite toy”) for like 15 years, so in a lot of ways she’s really kind of my murderous, psychic, tight-lipped alter-ego. It also helps that she has a very easy design, so she’s easy to doodle and commission artwork of as well. 

💎 18. Is there anything you really wish you could do, character-design-wise, that you feel is outside your current skillset? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

As stupid as it sounds, I’m really jealous of people who can pull off the happy-go-lucky characters. That’s never been my wheel-house. 

🏆 19. What’s more important to you: visual design, unique personality, a trendy character aesthetic, etc? If you’re not sure, then what’s the first thing you usually nail down in a character?

Story arc. Whether I’m RPing or writing a book, if I create a character what I am MOST interested about is understanding who these people are, and where they might end up, and how they could get from A to B. I’m interested in characters who embody natural conflict, whose design is itself conflicted, because of the story potential. 

For example, Lungaia: She’s female, but a physically powerful warrior. She’s literally compelled to violence by the demon that lives inside of her, but also has a tendency to take in strays - she’s surrounded by weak, broken, damaged people whom she cares about deeply. She can read minds but still always says the wrong thing. She’s a mess. and that makes her interesting and full of story potential. 

🎬 20. Do you ever plan to do anything (comic, animation, etc) with your characters? Or are you just happy to have them?

All of my characters pretty much exist either as part of a story idea that will get written (one of these days), or as a creation for a specific RP scenario. Sometimes the forgotten, abandoned RP characters luck out and get dusted off to shine in the novels (*coughs and points at Davin*). 

[aion-rsa]

An American Pickle: A Story of Family…and Pickles

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

The origins of the Seth Rogen-starring comedy, An American Pickle, trace back to 2013 when writer Simon Rich asked himself one crucial question: How would he fare in a bare knuckle brawl against his great-grandfather?

A humorous, exaggerated query, to be sure, but Rich’s amusing hypothetical arose from examining ideas of family, generations, and progress—or the seeming lack thereof. Modern life had become quite comfortable for Rich, a successful novelist, short story crafter, and TV writer (Miracle Workers, Man Seeking Woman). How would his ancestors, whose lives were anything but, feel about that?

“I’ve always been interested in my ancestors’ story,” Rich says. “All of my ancestors were Eastern European Jews who immigrated to the United States with very little money. They had extremely difficult lives. They were all fleeing oppression and in contrast, my life has been incredibly easy and privileged in every conceivable way. They all had very grueling, physically challenging jobs, and I’ve spent my career making up stories about robots and monkeys. So I always assumed that if they met me, they would be very disappointed in how I turned out and consider me worthless in pretty much every way, and possibly even want to beat me.”

The result of that assumption became the New Yorker-published short story “Sell Out” in 2013, in which Rich’s fictional great-grandfather was preserved via pickle brine and awoken in the modern day to express disappointment in his great-grandson. Now, after being optioned back in 2013, the concept is finally ready to make its feature film premiere with An American Pickle, which arrives in the U.S. on Aug. 6 via HBO Max and in theaters in the U.K. on Aug. 7.

In An American Pickle, Seth Rogen adopts potentially his most difficult and sophisticated role yet… or two roles, really. Rogen plays both the Simon Rich-cypher Ben Greenbaum and his pickle-preserved great grandfather, Herschel. After Herschel goes through hell to make it to America from “Schlupsk, Eastern Europe,” he falls into a crate of pickles and enters into a briney suspended animation until he’s uncovered in the modern day. As fate would have it, the family-focused Herschel has one living descendant remaining. 

Throughout An American Pickle, Herschel deals with all the usual “man-out-of-time” issues (Twitter proves to be particularly challenging for the sort-of centenarian). But the biggest challenge remains one generation connecting with another. Herschel is a man of the earth, a ditch-digger turned rat-killer. Ben is a millennial app developer—whatever any of those words mean. 

Coming aboard to shepherd that story of intergenerational conflict is long-time Rogen collaborator and first-time director Brandon Trost. Trost has worked with Rogen and his producing partner Evan Goldberg as a cinematographer since 2013’s This is the End. Like Rich, Trost sees family, inheritance, and lineage as the crucial themes in An American Pickle. 

“I have a five-year-old, and a one-year-old. I can see them asking one day, ‘What were my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents like?’ There is something really relatable about it,” Trost says.

Trost views the opportunity to explore that intergenerational curiosity through Rogen’s performance as two characters. 

“That’s the whole premise, and I think it’s why it works so well. Because you really are seeing a mirror of yourself, even though there are past generations, but we explore those different ideals that come with that generational change. What was important to someone 100 years ago is different from what is important to someone now.”

Of course bringing two Seth Rogens to the screen to create that poignant mirror image requires some technical sophistication and effort. Though plenty of other TV shows and films have deployed this technical storytelling strategy over the years, it was Trost’s first attempt aside from Dave Grohl’s “Play” music video. 

Like many other properties in need of one actor playing two roles, An American Pickle utilizes split-screen technology to capture both performances. One complicating factor, however, was Rogen’s very lush and very real Herschel beard. So production shot an entire movie from Herschel’s perspective first, then essentially reshot that same movie from Ben’s perspective, with Rogen clean-shaven and fed Herschel’s lines via earpiece. 

“It was a pretty radical process to go through for what is effectively just a two-handed movie,” Trost says.

Trost points to Herschel and Ben’s first introduction at Ben’s apartment as a deceptively difficult scene, due to the need for camera angle, set dressing, lighting, and many other factors having to match exactly. 

“It did nothing but make our job more difficult. But I was also really happy that we were forced into this process because it allowed us to find each character separately,” Trost says. “We had to finish out Herschel’s character and really find it, and then we got the answer to that with Ben. I think it actually helped distill each performance separately. Everybody sees two different characters and two different people, even though Seth is obviously the same actor.”

The degree of difficulty involved is high in Rogen’s performance, but at the end of the day it may have been worth it, with many reviews noting that the characters, particularly Herschel, are among Rogen’s best work. For Rich, who previously wrote for Saturday Night Live, Rogen has been the most obvious choice for the role since the concept made its way from short story to feature film.

“I’ve been a fan of his since high school watching him on Freaks and Geeks. We actually met at Saturday Night Live when he hosted in 2007. That was the first time I had a chance to work with him. Then five or six years later when this story came out, and I decided I wanted to try to adapt it, he was the first person I brought it to.”

Though Rogen takes up two important roles in the film, the unspoken third star of the film might just be the humble cucumber pickle, long consumed by humanity, yet rarely enjoyed. In addition to being the vehicle through which Herschel Greenbaum is able to time travel (his voiceover in the film assures the viewer that everyone is satisfied with a scientist’s explanation of how such a preservation can work) pickles continue to pop up as Hershel’s way to outwork and upstage his great-grandson. The end result for An American Pickle was a production positively beset for the salty green cylinders. 

“[The prop team] made all the pickles themselves,” Trost says. “Right when I got there they started practicing brining pickles, and there were pickles in the production office kitchen all the time. We definitely went through just bags and bags of cucumbers on this movie.”

Why pickles though?

“I knew that I wanted this character to be preserved for a hundred years, and if you look at the Venn diagram of methods of preservation and Jewish objects, the overlap is very clearly pickles,” Rich says.

An American Pickle is out now in the U.S. on HBO Max. It premieres in U.K. cinemas on Aug. 7.

The post An American Pickle: A Story of Family…and Pickles appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/30zkENT

[amazingviralinfo]

The film and TV industries go to extreme lengths to protect the details of their stories, from shoving NDAs up everyone's ass to literally locking scenes inside vaults. So it's hilarious when their biggest plot twists are revealed not by master hackers or corporate spies, but by random jackasses making off-the-cuff jokes. But how often could that happen? All the time, it turns out ...

WARNING: This is an article about plot twists. Expect some!

6

Fans Joke About Hodor, Spoil A Major Game Of Thrones Twist Years In Advance

There have been a lot of shocking twists throughout the course of Game Of Thrones; from the Red Wedding stabbings, to Jon Snow getting stabbed a bunch of times, to the stabbing of- You know what, they're mostly stabbings. One twist no one could have seen coming (because the books haven't even gotten to that part yet) had to do with Hodor, the loveable manservant who serves as young Bran Stark's personal piggyback service.

HBO Apparently, the people in Westeros are too busy sword-fighting and getting naked to invent the goddamn wheelchair.

But why is his name Hodor? Did he have annoying, Gwyneth Paltrow-esque celebrity parents? The answer is far more complicated. Basically, Bran's time-travelling melted poor Hodor's brain -- as his future self is being commanded to "hold the door" to block a horde of White Walkers, his past self starts muttering "Hold the door" over and over, eventually morphing into "Hodor" (a transition that caused headaches for the show's international translators). So, people just started calling him that.

HBO

HBO If the same rule applied to 12-year-old boys in this universe, there'd probably be a hell of a lot more kids named "Boobs Pokemon."

That's a pretty intricate twist, but a few people actually predicted this outcome. How the hell? By doing what we do for a living: making dumb-ass pop culture jokes. Way back in 2008, before the TV show even started, a fan of the books posted this on a message board:

Not all commenters were receptive to the idea:

This poster wasn't the only fan to randomly stumble onto this bad pun, either. Writer Michael A. Ventrella blogged in 2014 about an encounter with GOT creator George R.R. Martin at a convention, where Martin mentioned an interest in being an elevator operator. When Ventrella ran into him again, this happened:

So a terrible pun that people balked at actually became one of the most poignant moments in the show. What we're saying is maybe now's the time for HBO's gritty Bazooka Joe reboot.

5

Darth Vader's Actor Randomly Guessed He Was Luke's Father

David Prowse was the guy who acted inside of the original Darth Vader suit, and who will one day be wiped from all historical records and replaced with Hayden Christensen. We've talked before about how he publicly spoiled the twist of The Empire Strikes Back years before the movie came out, during a 1978 appearance at Berkeley:

That's not all. He also blabbed to Little Shoppe Of Horrors magazine that same year:

But here's the weird thing: He shouldn't have been able to spoil this, because he didn't know. No one did. This was back around the same time Leigh Brackett was writing the early drafts of Empire, which included scenes where Luke's dad is a decidedly non-evil ghost:

And Vader even refers to Luke's dad in their final confrontation:

A recent documentary focusing on Prowse delves into this mystery, but somehow Prowse doesn't remember blowing the twist. The director literally has to pull up the old newspaper clipping on an iPad and show Prowse that he totally ruined the ending for people. In fact, because the line "I am your father" wasn't even recorded on set, Prowse recalls being surprised by the reveal at the premiere.

The documentarians also interview Gary Kurtz, the producer of A New Hope and Empire, who claims it was just an amazingly lucky guess. So either Prowse's random bullshitting stumbled upon one of the biggest moments in movie history, or George Lucas was pulling story ideas from magazine interviews given by his non-speaking supporting cast.

Similarly soothsaying the future of the franchise was a 1982 Mad Magazine bit about Lucas' Star Wars plans. It was just a bunch of ridiculous jokes -- and in a testament to just how silly the series got, some actually came pretty close to reality. For starters, they predicted 50 percent of Episode II's title:

And that Episode III would feature the Wookiees fighting the Empire:

One prediction jokingly states that Darth Vader is Han Solo's father, which is crazy. It also says that Vader will turn out to be C3PO's dad which is ... no, wait, that's exactly what fucking happened.

Another throwaway joke says that Luke's real father is "The Force" -- which sounds stupid as all hell, until you realize that "The Force" is actually his grandfather. Then it sounds stupider.

4

Someone Wrote An Erotic Novella About Taylor Swift And Tom Hiddleston (Before They Actually Dated)

We're switching it up to talk about a real-life twist: the announcement in 2016 that pop-star Taylor Swift was dating actor Tom Hiddleston. You know, the guy who has played Loki so many times he apparently just started wearing the costume in everyday life.

While that bit of news may have caught you off guard, it wouldn't have if you'd read Wildest Dreams -- a 58,000-word piece of erotic fan fiction by online author Jennifer Stanley. Stanley's story imagined a (sexy) world in which Hiddleston and Swift were a couple back in 2014. Before they even met.

That's a pretty random guess. Other than the fact that they often have the same haircut, what do these two celebs have in common? Loki's not even the Marvel villain you'd expect a music superstar to end up with -- young Magneto's handsome as hell, not to mention that pruny hunk Thanos and his blinged-out Michael Jackson glove.

Furthering the theory that Stanley is a god and our entire universe exists only as the backdrop for a sex-filled internet story, she predicted that Hiddleston and Swift would meet at the Met Gala, and, yup, that's what happened. She explains that she guessed that by doing good old-fashioned research and finding out which type of event they'd both be likely to attend -- because how will anyone masturbate to this if it isn't completely realistic?

Of course, a lot of the book is just straight-up celebrity doing it. (If a mustachioed Tom Hanks showed up delivering a pizza it wouldn't feel out of place.) And when Stanley first saw the pictures of the couple at the Met Gala, her first thought was: "Oh my god, what have I done?" Presumably her second thought was "I should never have bought that typewriter at Stephen King's garage sale."

3

Kevin Smith Called Tim Burton's Planet Of The Apes Ending Years Earlier

We all remember Tim Burton's remake of the classic Planet Of The Apes, the one that scrapped the classic Statue Of Liberty twist, ending instead with the apes and humans putting aside their petty differences to chill out at a suburban mall's Sears Portrait Studio.

Actually, Burton added his own bizarre twist to the movie. After returning to Earth, Marky Mark is shocked to discover that the Lincoln Memorial statue is an ape -- which is a way more dramatic way of revealing this than if Wahlberg simply found a penny on the ground, or rented a DVD of the Daniel Ape Lewis biopic.

It was a startling, utterly unpredictable twist ... unless you were a Kevin Smith fan. A few years earlier, Smith (who, as a reminder, didn't do drugs at this time) released a Jay And Silent Bob comic that riffed on Planet Of The Apes, and there is a strikingly similar image:

At first, Smith seemed to accuse Burton of plagiarism, saying "I think I got robbed and I'm talking with my lawyers about possibly suing." Then, later, he claimed he was only joking -- either because he genuinely was, or because he soon realized no one should want to take credit for that monkey turd of an ending. Burton defensively claimed that he wasn't an avid reader of Jay And Silent Bob comics, and that "anybody that knows me knows I do not read comic books." He's gonna flip his shit when he finds out where Batman came from.

2

A Random Comedy Sketch Calls The Insane Direction Lost Was Going

Back when Lost was on TV, a good chunk of the internet consisted of just people trying to figure out where the show was going. Amid all that rampant speculation, one sketch troupe actually got one key detail right, but in the most random way possible. The internet comedy group Olde English had a sketch that made the rounds back in 2007 about how ridiculous the Lost writers' room must have been. They're just frantically coming up with ideas like polar bears, four-toed statues, and, say, how about a magic turtle?

The ideas get more and more ludicrous, and that's the joke. However, in throwing out the craziest possible suggestions, they actually anticipated a real storyline. Look at the cue cards on the back wall:

See how two of the cards are about Locke?

They read "Locke Dies" and "Locke Becomes a Zombie" -- which sounded completely ludicrous. Come on, not even this show would go as far as to kill a fan-favorite character and then bring him back to life as some sort of evil force, bent on destruction. Right?

Around the same time this sketch came out, on the Season 3 finale, we saw Jack moping over someone's casket in a funeral parlor. Because this show was infuriating, it took them a whole year to show us who was in the freaking casket: it was fan-favorite Locke! Gasp!

Locke then promptly comes back to life, but with a grumpier, more murder-y attitude. It turns out his dead body had actually been reanimated/possessed by the Smoke Monster -- as in, an evil force, bent on destruction. Maybe if we examine the magic numbers some more, that whole all-powerful top-hatted turtle theory will pan out too.

1

Austin Powers Had The Exact Same Twist As Spectre, 13 Years Earlier

Spectre is that James Bond movie that works way better if you assume it mostly takes place inside the inane imaginings of 007's lobotomized brain. Otherwise, eh. The movie is packed with twists that don't really add much to Bond's mystique. For instance, there was the reveal that the head of the evil organization Spectre, Franz Oberhauser, was actually ... Ernst Blofeld, who was the head of Spectre in every other James Bond movie! Wait, how was this a twist? The movie was literally called Spectre. That's like trying to make it a surprise that Jim Morrison is a character in The Doors.

Anyway, early in the movie, we see a photo of Bond with his adoptive dad, and another kid whose face has been burned off:

Then, towards the end, Blofeld reveals that it was his father who took Bond in. He was the little boy in the photo ...

... which makes Bond and Blofeld brothers! Bond didn't remember this because, again, martinis.

While that's certainly a shocking development, if you got the sense that it was strangely familiar, you weren't alone. Over a decade earlier, the Bond parody Austin Powers In Goldmember had an extremely similar third-act twist. It ends with Powers' father admitting that Dr. Evil (the blatant Blofeld ripoff character) was actually Austin's brother.

The plot twist actually works better in Goldmember, probably because Michael Caine and Beyonce are there, while the Bond producers apparently wouldn't pony up the cash. Also, Goldmember was just going for a silly ending, not trying to predict where the Bond franchise was actually headed. Still, we can't wait for the sequel where Bond finds out his other brothers are Shrek and the Love Guru.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

For more twists we all should've seen coming, check out The 5 Most Ridiculous Ways Studios Spoiled Their Own Movies and 6 Movie Characters Whose Names Spoiled Huge Plot Twists.

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