#i had a lot of fun working on this i havent gotten that deep into an art fugue in ages kdfgkjdfg

[nyushiren]

That death which penetrated my body like a needle, like a sword, like lightning...

[fartcloudfartcloud]

Logan Howlett x Squirter!Reader

oneshot (4.5k words) - You know how to make yourself squirt, but its no easy process. You just accepted your reality of it only happening once in a blue moon and only when you were alone. Maybe Logan can prove you wrong. pairing - logan howlett (xmen) x f!reader tags -first time sex, oral/fingering f recieving, lots of princess, baby, sweetheart, lots of logans filthy (and whiny) mouth, one swift bite, reader has boobs and a vagina and pullable hair, nondescript body other then a few thigh/hip descriptions, squirting obvi, lots of wet everywhere, lots of praise and begging from both parties, logan will not shut up

SEND ME REQUESTS AND SHIT!!!! I WANNA KEEP WRITING!!! GIVE ME IDEAS IM THIRSTY IM HUNGRY RAAAHHHG

this is self indulgent as shit and I havent written a fic and actually posted it since i was like 15 but that fic by @silverskyeline had me inspired because I may or may not be a squirter and i needed to write it for myself. i feel like this is kinda ass butt but i tried my best and i hope its bearable :)

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..

The first time it happened, it caught you off guard. 

 Finding yourself alone in your home with some down time, you'd sat in your office chair, legs propped up on either side of the wood and headphones slipped over your ears as you scrolled through your options, clicking the first link that piqued your interest. It was how you preferred to masturbate these days, a deep voiced man slowly working you through it, your hands a mirror image of how the man describes his methods of pleasure through your headphones.  

It doesn’t take long before you’re lost in it, 13 minutes into the 24-minute audio and you've got one hand plowing your favorite dildo in and out in long, deep thrusts, angled exactly how you need it. the tip catches against your cervix and thumps up against your g spot in one fluid movement, your head thrown back in breathless euphoria. The voice switches between each ear, alternating as it groans praise and direction between its moans of pleasure. You’re choking on the feeling of it all, moans coming out in hiccups and cries as you desperately try to maintain some dignity. The voice slips into a gravely come on baby, rub that clit while I fuck you, cum on this cock sweetheart and suddenly your other hand joins the mix, sloppily rubbing circles into your drenched bud. The combo of the two motions, drilling yourself in mind numbing strokes with your one hand while your other sneaks down and rubs your clit, isn’t one you explore often.  

But God is it fucking good. 

In a flash your vision is white, it all hits you just as the voice in your ear instructs you. It’s all too much and good lord he starts counting down from 3, and somehow just as he’s growling one, baby cum for me, cum on this fucking dick, your back is arching, and your legs are shaking. Even with your head back and eyes rolled you could feel how sloppy you had gotten, drenched all the way up to you palm and wrist now. The sound was *filthy*, the audible noise of the floor beneath you getting drenched, your desperate gasps and attempts to stay quiet through the torment, and the sloppy plap… plap… of the toy inside you slowly coming to a halt.

That day your eyes were opened to a whole new world. It wasn’t easy, though, and it didn’t happen like it did in porn. Instead of a stream shooting out of you like a hose, it was more of a spray that splashed out with each thrust, and it only happened when you were splayed on your back like that pleasuring yourself exactly in that matter. You never considered yourself a squirter, per say. But it was a fun thing to brag about every now and then.  

it stayed something that happened between you and your toy, though. the one or two flings you'd had since the discovery never getting anywhere near the space or level of relaxation, you’d need to be in to make it happen, and you just accepted it to be something only you could only do on rare occasions alone in your bedroom. 

That was until Logan came along.  

The last thing you'd choose to describe Logan as a man was patient. He was short tempered and snippy, his first day in the mansion it seemed like his mission to piss everyone he saw off. But when he met you, he suddenly softened. When he told you were lucky you were pretty the first time you spoke, he meant it, not only suddenly capable of holding his tongue but speaking with a slowed assurance as he watched you. It wasn't a surprise to anyone when he quickly weaseled his way into your bed.  

Although maybe you'd bragged to a friend or two once it happened, you never thought to alert Logan of your talent. As stated, patience wasn’t exactly any term to describe Logan with, and you knew it wasn’t easy in the first place, so the thought never even crossed your mind. 

That was until he hovered over you, hands expertly holding your face and neck as he passionately locked his lips with yours.  

The way Logan kissed was suffocating, his big hands holding you in place as he mapped every inch of your mouth, huffing to himself every time a string of saliva or a well-timed lick would make you whimper. He hadn't done anything but sit down and kiss you and you were already overwhelmed by him.

He pulled away to stare at you intensely, memorizing every bit of the filthy frame in front of him. He had you laid out underneath him, your pretty eyes blown out and wide, looking up at him as if he was your world, your hands needily grabbing at his tank top.  

"Please Logan," you whimper, leaky eyes never leaving his for even a moment.  

"I haven't even done anything yet, and you're already begging," he teased as he lifted your chin up to start gently laying kisses down it. You keep a hold of his forearms as he leaves wet pink spots all the way down to where your top lies, grounding yourself in his warmth as he sends shivers down your spine. He stops, grumbling at the article of clothing stopping him from devouring you. 

"Use your big boy words," you tease with a smirk, pushing your chest towards him and sensually touching his chest and collarbone. Instead of using said big boy words, he growled a deep "Off." as he flicked at the silky bow nestled against your breasts.

You sigh, your efforts for null.

"I'd ask you to just rip it off, but this is vintage," you pout as you make a show of lifting off the fabric. He raised an eyebrow, half his mind shocked at the way you tease him so effortlessly, the other half wrecked by your suggestion, an image of him pouncing on you and ripping the beautiful lac top off with his claws like an animal.

It started a fire in his stomach, one that was quickly ignited by the view of your breast's falling from the tops confines as you pulled it over your head. In his eyes, they fall in slow motion, each ripple sending shockwaves down his back as he watching them sway with your movement. 

Maybe the idea of ripping that pretty top off with his claws hit a little too close to home, because in a flash he's on you. He's pushing you back with a firm hand to the sternum, using it to hold you in place against the mattress as he desperately kisses down the side of your neck and to your sternum.

"Smell so fucking good," he huffs out as he kisses down your clavicle before latching his lips around your slowly hardening nipple. The feeling makes your back arch and your breath hitch, a combo that had Logan popping a sly grin between his kitten licks to your now stiff bud.  

"You say that all the time," you moan out breathlessly as he flicks his tongue. He pulls away with a pop, inching up to your ear and whispering into it.

"Sorry, let me correct myself," he leans down, sultry gaze inches from your face as he growls,

"She smells so fucking good," into your ear as he cups your mound through your shorts. You should've known in that moment you were cooked, stomach aching with how badly you needed him and hips instantly trying to buck into his wrist. He laughs at your attempt and pulls away his palm, much to your dismay. 

"Don't talk about what my vagina smells like," you giggle, hiding your red face from him,

"Why not? s' like peaches, sweetheart. wanna just split you open and-" he finishes his statement but tugging your head back and exposing the column of your throat, licking a long stripe from between your breast's all the way up and under your ear, his warm hand back cupping your mound and massaging the fat through your shorts.

Your breath is robbed as his mouth leaves a wet trail that cools in the air and send a shiver down your spine. Logans mouth latches back onto your erect nipples, this time your skin tingling and buzzing with sensitivity,

"shit- I need more baby, please," you plead helplessly as your hands roam over Logans shoulders and forearms, his mouth slowly working down your body with kisses and licks. 

"Need what, darling," he replies, his eyes flitting up to yours deviously. You don't respond, instead opting to roll your hips up against his, hoping he'd show mercy upon seeing your desperation. You should've known better. He pins your hips down, gripping the fat of your waist with a rough palm and letting out a displeased grunt as he teases you. 

 "Use your big girl words," he says with a smile, using your own words against you.

You desperately try to retaliate, your palms playfully smacking against his chest and legs kicking while you giggle and yelp,

"You can't- you fucker!" You pleade, before your limbs are quickly pinned down at your sides, your legs now pinned under his as his mouth is back at your ear, stopping you dead in your tracks as he growls. I takes a shaky deep breath, regaining his composure and savoring your smell before he speaks.   

"Just tell me what I want to hear so I can taste this fucking pussy, eh sweetheart? you're killing me here," his voice becoming almost whiny at the end as he grips at your hips and grinds his visibly strained bulge against your thigh. His words shoot a shiver to your core, his brazenness too much for your foggy mind,

"Please just fucking- eat me out Logan!" you whine, hips chasing his in a desperate chase for contact. He grips your face, palm rough and big holding you in place and making you gooey and submissive as he talks, 

"See? Was that so hard, bub?" he quirked with teasing grin before kissing your cheek and diving down to your hips. His arms wormed their way under your thighs, head popping up to admire the way your athletic shorts squeeze the fat of your thighs around his head. The tight shorts accentuated your curves, settling into the creases in your thighs and hips and sending a shiver down his spine as he traces his finger along the seam. 

Suddenly, Logan is biting you. If you asked him why, he's not sure he could tell you, but the spot just under your stomach where your thigh meets your hip looked too appetizing not to sink his teeth into. It's gentle and playful, he growls and shakes his head like a dog with a bone and it makes you squeal and swat at his back again. You tie your hands into his hair and pull him up, a big goofy grin on his face as he peers up at you through his thick lashes, clearly having no remorse for his actions as he licks his lips and teeth.

Jesus Christ hes so hot.

He swats your hands out of his hair, desperate and feral for the taste of you in his mouth. The man wastes no time sinking his face back down and into your thigh, hands gripping you firmer now, pinning you down as he growled and nestled your inner thigh with his stubble. He looks like a little kitty cat, headbutting you to coat you in his scent, fingers kneading and savoring the thick of your hips. 

"Just let me play with you how I want to baby," he whines, the lilt to his voice a little surprising. It feels like the longer you tease him, the whinier he gets. Interesting. 

You pat his hair in apology and scratch his scalp, his head now laying on your thigh as he strokes your stomach. “You can't bite me, Lo!” You giggle as you scold him. He props his chin up on your stomach and pays no mind to your scolding. "Shhh baby, just take these off," the man lazily orders from his spot on your tummy, just barely lifting his head enough to give you space to pull your shorts off. You wiggle out of them with no help from Logan. He’s much too busy taking in every inch of the scene in front of him, eyes glued to your hands as they reveal your lacy pink underwear barely an inch from his face. 

 He could drool with how bad he needs to taste you.  

You don't even get your shorts all the way off your ankle before he's pinning your hips down and raking your pretty pink panties to the side, latching his mouth over your mound and licking a thick firm stripe from the bottom of your slit all the way through to the tip of your clit. You gasp and grab at his shoulders, a slow “fuuuuck,” falling from your lips as he slowly tastes you. 

He’s completely enamored by you, your smell, your taste, the way your look, the way each muscle in your thighs flexes with just the one lick. You look so fucking good like this it makes him angry. 

"So fucking pretty," he spits, overwhelmed by his own rush of feelings settling in his stomach. He opts to ignore it by digging his face into you pussy, using his tongue to tease your clit slowly in circles before sliding over your glistening hole, savoring the way your slick tastes on his lips and tongue as he teases your entrance.  

"Shit-" it comes out desperate and whiny from your lips as you roll your hips into his face, his nose clipping your clit as he explores your slit. The sensation makes your heels dig into the bed and your eyes flutter back with a gasp, your hands pulling on strands of the man's hair. He teases you like this, switching between circling your clit and pushing softly through your slit till you've thoroughly soaked his face with a mixture of his spit and your slick.

He raises his head with a feral growl, looking as if he's pulling away from his feast as he spits on your clit and spreads it around with his fingers. He chuckles while you squirm, kissing your thigh where his pink bite mark stains it.  

"You ready, princess?" He asks, the nickname makes you shiver. You ignore his question and the implications of it, more focused on desperately trying to roll your pinned hips into his mouth, huffing with defeat as neither his hands nor your hips budge. He chuckles at your little tantrum, sitting up and peeling your damp panties away from your core. A soft kiss is delivered to your ankle before settling back into position between your legs. 

A chuckle and a shake of his head is all the warning you get before hes sealing his mouth around your clit and sucking, swirling and swiping his tongue around the bud while pinning you in place. It's different.

This time he's got the whole bud suctioned into his mouth, lips and tongue and pressured sucks all swirling it in an abusing pattern. The only sound heard in the room is his wet mouth on you, any attempts at making sound robbed from you as he lathes his filthy attack on you.

You gasp and squirm to no avail, his name dying on your tongue when you manage to catch a gulp of air, your head thrown back in a silent plea. His pace doesn't falter, he doesn't unstick himself from your clit for even a moment, doesn't switch between his tongue or fingers or where he uses them, just one consistent attack as he focuses every ounce of his attention on pleasuring you. it's precise, masterful, dare you say practiced even, in the way has drawing you up. You'd have half the mind to call him a name, call him some sort of whore for knowing the ins and outs of a woman's body so meticulously. Unfortunately for you, your mind is blank as he pulls away to swap his hold on you, instead using one arm to hold you across the stomach while his other ventures down to your opening. 

"Logan!" You gasp as he pulls off of you for the first time in what feels like ages, giving you a second to breathe and relax. Well, not relax per say, as Logan is underneath you giggling and gently caressing you from bottom to top.

"Gotta make sure it's all wet baby," he slurs, already pussydrunk as he spits onto your slit and rubs it all over. At this point you were dripping, probably all the way down your seam and onto to the bed if you had to guess, especially you combined with Logans sloppy mouth. The action was redundant, yet filthy none the less, and disgustingly sexy. You fall onto your back and cover your face, groaning and rolling your hips again as you catch your breath,  

"You're driving me fucking crazy, Logan," you whimper into the pillow. He’s laughing at you again, kissing just above your clit as he peeps out a tender, "I know baby." He uses his firm hands to massage your thighs, your hips, even using his knuckles down your arms until you've relaxed deep into the bed.

One last kiss is placed onto your thigh before he latches his mouth back over your slit, groaning and relaxing into you like he just took a big draw from a fresh cigar.

He had played you like a damn fiddle, his little break had your muscles relaxing and allowed some air back into your lungs, and now suddenly every movement feels 10x better.

You're hyper aware of every touch, the way his tongue circles your nub before roughly grinding down out it, milking moans from your lips with expertise. He hadn't even brought his fingers back down to your opening yet, still bare and leaking from moments ago when he left you high and dry, yet you were already past the point of no return. Your stomach was tightening, your hands desperately grabbing whatever they could find before deciding on hiding your face in the pillow, successfully concealing your moans and savoring your dignity.

Logan pulled away from your core with a pop, looking to see what had caused the noises he was savoring so sincerely to suddenly stop. He was not happy to see your face covered, not only blocking those pretty sounds but covering your orgasmic expressions too. 

“Uh-uh princess. Need to hear it all, and I wanna see those pretty eyes too,” He pleads, big hands coming up to pull your hands to the side and away from the pillows. He places both your wrists on your stomach, his one hand big enough to pin them both with little issue. 

He grumbles something about interruptin’ me as he dives back into your core. You can practically see his ears perk back up as he hears your beautiful noises again, his tongue going straight back to its mind-numbing circles. He finally gives you mercy and brings his free hand down, two thick fingers running up and down your slit, making sure they're thoroughly soaked in slick before he's pressing them in. The ridges of his thick fingers massage your walls as they're gently worked in and out in slow strokes, the sound and feeling of Logans mouth and hands combined serving to be absolutely pornographic, and your desperate moans doing little to help.

“Logan~” you gasp in delight as the pairing of the two sensations start to settle back into your core, every sensation elevated 20-fold. He’s so unrelenting with the motions of it all, hooking his fingers and pushing them up until it feels like he's stimulating your clit from both sides. You could practically see stars, languid moans turning into breathless gasps again, your hands flexing and twitching against their spot against your stomach, desperate to grab onto him or his hair or the sheets or anything.  

A filthy, “mph- hah! Just a- little more Logan!” eeks past your tense throat, your whole body overwhelmed with the feeling of him taking over every one of your senses.

“Come on princess, wanna see you cum for me,” He growls. it's so deep and attractive, and when he halts the stimulation to your clit to speak, he makes up for it by absolutely slamming his fingers into the soft spot on the roof of your pussy. You were lost, mind completely succumb to him, completely lost in the pleasure his giving you.

“Getting so tight around my fingers, baby. Just let it wash over you, don't think ‘bout nothing but how good im makin' you feel.” He moans breathlessly, having no clue what his words are doing to you. It's all too much, and before you realize it there's a familiar burn in your core, the sounds of his fingers getting louder and sloppier as more of your slick coats his fingers in an all too familiar feeling. You try to alert the man between your legs, try to tell him if he keeps fucking doing that with his fingers you're going to fucking ruin his sheets, but your pleas only serve to fuel him. 

 Your gasps and calls of his name do nothing to slow his motions, his biceps rippling as he doubles his efforts,

“Lo- fuck- im-!” your pleas come out in unintelligible gasps, not enough air in your lungs to beg anymore, the sounds of your arousal getting filthier and filthier. The crest up to your peak has you crying and squeezing Logans sideburns into the inner skin of your thighs, your whole body shaking as he works you to your breaking point, hands pulling and scratching just a little too hard as it all comes crumbling down. All you can hear is sloshing and wet sounds as your vision goes white.  

Your orgasm bulldozes you, your throat parched from how hard you're gasping for air, your limbs sore and twitching as his fingers and tongue work you through the aftershocks. It's all gentle touches and deep gasps of air as you slowly let the stars behind your eyes fade. 

You let out a long groan as you steadily come to, body paralyzed flat against the mattress, mustering up enough energy to lift your head and look down at the man of the hour. He’s removed himself from you and is sat up on his knees, the sight paired with the biggest shit eating grin you've ever seen spread across his face. His hair is tousled and falling over his forehead, his chin still dripping with evidence of your climax. His chin and his hands. And down his neck. And all over his T-shirt, the white neckline of his tank now completely transparent. 

“Shit-” is all you can say as you see what's happened, hand coming up to cover your face, apologizing to Logan as you scramble up.

“Fuck, let me get a towel logan I'm sor-” “woah woah woah where do you think you're going?” he interrogates as he lays a hand against your chest, stopping you in your tracks and looking at you softly, 

 “Your soaked Logan, I- I didn't- should've told you, I need to get a towel,” you scramble from underneath him, legs shaking and sensitive as they carry you to the bathroom. He shakes his head as he follows behind, unable to stop you as you scatter away from him and into the next room, a woman on a mission to scrub the world of the evidence of your debauchery. He watches from the doorway, his arm over his head as he leans against the door frame with a cocky smirk as you frantically grab a towel and dampen a washcloth. You turn to leave, looking up at him with a scowl as he blocks your path. 

“Ya know I'm supposed to be the one doing all this, princess?” He teases, face still coated in you and glistening in the light. You bring the damp wash cloth up to his jaw and start whipping him down, at least tackling one part of the cleaning process if he wasn't going to let you pass into the bedroom.

“I’m the one who made the mess, Logan,” you remind him, patting the wetness from his stubble. He chuckles, grabbing the towel from your other hand and halting the hand scrubbing his face with a firm hand around your wrist.

"Yeah, but I made it happen. Wheres my credit, bub?" You watch shamefully as he turns and places the towel over the wet spot on the bed, hanging the damp cloth over the bed frame and looking back at you expectantly. You hang your shoulders lower,  

“Logan that's not- we need to change the sheets, and you need new clothes and-” “shhh, just come here and lay down with me princess,” he coos, his naivety and dismissal of your feelings starting to frustrate you.

He approaches you with outstretched arms, coming over to loop them around your shoulders and walk you towards the mattress. You stop short of the bed, turning towards him to continue your arguing before he grabs your face with his palm, gently squeezing your cheeks into a pout and effectively stopping any defiance you had. His other hand wraps around your waist as he leans into your ears and speaks lowly,  

“I don't know what kind of nonsense you've got in this pretty head of yours,”

he taps your forehead with his forefinger before placing it in your hair, soaking in your gasp as he gently yanks your head back,

“but you're not leaving until I see that,” he refers to the wet spot causing you grief, “at least one more time.”

He possessively grabs your ass, pulling you firmly against him, your breath taken as he speaks into your ear. His teasing eases your worries, and his hands on you definitely help as well.

“So, I think we forget about the sheets,” you both chuckle, your cheeks flushed as he grabs you and growls.

“And you let me play with this pretty pussy till I figure out exactly how she ticks . Sound good to you, baby?” he asks, pulling back with his eyebrows quirked and lips pulled up into a dangerous leer.

You look small in his arms, the roller coaster of emotions leaving you feeling vulnerable and submissive as you softly shake your head up and down, core heating all the way back up for him.

He smiles and brings you into a tender kiss, hands roaming your body and down your arms, grabbing your wrists and placing your palms on his chest. He praises you with gentle whispers of so beautiful, my girl, need you, as he walks you backwards to sit on the edge of the bed.

The kiss turns more heated with every passing moment, his tongue working any shame out of your mind and replacing it with that beautiful heat of pleasure only he can have given you. He pulls away from you, a string of saliva connecting your lips as he pulls that same lopsided grin you've been slowly falling in love with.  

“Think I could make you squirt like that on my dick, princess?” He asks bodely, making you snort as your face gets hot, “um, I don't know usually... it's pretty hard.” He chuckles and runs his hands over your thighs.

“Didn't seem too hard to me,” he teases slyly, making you hide your face in his chest with a giggle. He kisses the crown of your head, muttering a soft, “I'll go get some more towels,” before wandering back into the bathroom, your eyes glued on his somehow still fully clothed from. You flush red again as he walks out with 2 more towels, laying them across the mattress and crawling towards you with a hungry glare. You were in for a long night. 

[definitelynotshouting]

(Hunger au) I'm going into ecology and it's fascinating looking at your au's ecosystem, especially since this doesn't necessarily seem driven by natural selection and instead by just. The universe creating what it needs, with a purpose in mind. That's so different from our world that it's fascinating to think about the implications. Rather than existing to take advantage of and respond to resources and selective pressures, theyre basically creating said resources/pressures. The watchers are having to manually adapt to survive after a bottleneck effect, which to be fair even if there was natural selection they'd probably have to cuz adaptation takes a looong time in species with long reproductive cycles. Do they have a genome? Or are they just being arbiters of mutation themselves (by that i mean theres no genome so theyre changing their species themselves since theres nothing to mutate)? Do offspring inherit traits? What does this mean for natural selection (cuz like. If they survive differently depending on how their traits match up to the environment and selective pressures there is)? With the seekers gone are expected to have a population rebound barring any other selective pressures/fitness independent factors on their population? Their reproductive strategy seemingly aligns with the low pressure they're facing... I read a paper to understand this and it's really cool:

(From https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-42562-7)

They seem to be an r-selected species and invest a lot in their offspring, but they just naturally have low infant survival rates. This is the sort of species that does not do well in the long run so that adds urgency to their efforts to edit themselves.

All this to say that I'm rotating the concept of an ecological system that has one of ecology's core tenants (evolution) heavily altered/removed. Tis fascinating.

between you and chem anon im going to have a heart attack over sciency people looking at my silly au /lh

I really did want to go like vastly different from how our world works since this is such a video game setting-- it was really fun to noodle about what a universe made out of code instead of DNA would look like!!! and having the universe be quasi-sentient, affected by a form of evolution itself as well (thank you julien gough for the universe evolution theory that i have wholeheartedly adopted into my worldview).... idk its led to some very interesting worldbuilding for sure 😂😂😂

Watchers-- or any entity in this universe, actually-- dont really have a genome like we'd understand it. Instead, theyre made up of code and code blocks, which i guess would sorta mimic that to a certain degree, but its more tipped in favour of computer programming than biology. The whole au sorta just wholesale marries the two together, along with physics and chemistry (i am currently percolating on how crafting works in this au rn and my current idea involves the concept of the crafting table acting somewhat like a catalyst, which. okay dont take that as gospel yet i havent fully cooked on that one) etc etc etc.

But the Watchers did intentionally change their coding to help defend against the Seekers when they were being hunted into extinction!!! Watchers already had a natural affinity for deep coding, so while it took a lot of effort and caused a lot of damage to themselves, they managed to rapidly change their code structure (aka this universe's version of genetic makeup) to get better at, well. Watching. Seeing the Seekers coming far enough in advance to run before they got there became their primary defense against getting voraciously hunted, and by the end of it the Seekers starved out and went extinct bc they'd gotten so adept at avoiding them.

Offspring is interesting because in my mind at their base level (so genetically/code structurally speaking), Watchers are identical clones of each other. They reproduce asexually-- think uhhh mourning geckos and some species of aphids, which reproduce via parthenogenesis. So yes, in a sense they do inherit traits, but its in a direct line from the parent as a genetic copy. Their memory codes and surface code layers are what differentiate themselves from each other

Reading this chart is so interesting.... i'd say you're right in that Watchers would be considered an r-selected species!! I think if they werent like. Essentially made out of tissue paper thats constantly getting damaged and having to be repaired, they would be able to bounce back to the point of population rebound for sure. The problem with that though is there are only about 40 Watchers left-- thats how bad and out of control the situation got. And since they have such a long reproductive cycle, and such a high infant mortality rate, and their experiment with Grian went so wrong, AND the universe formed Listeners to replace them via direct competition (Watchers cant feed from Listener-infected Players!!), they are unfortunately headed right for extinction too.

Hopefully this makes a modicum of sense and isnt just me totally talking out of my ass wkdnjedjkejdke but i hope this answered most of your questions!!! Im really glad you like the direction ive taken this, its a lot of fun to conceptualize a world that works on different rules than our own :]

[cherubchoirs]

um .. hiii i love ur art and writing so much and i jus. wanted u to know fallen gabe occupies my brain very often and i love the symbolism you use in a bit of your artwork, concepts and writing n its cool to see how much passion u put into everything :} i like hearing your understandings of the characters in their depth its really cool...

are there any little tidbits or scenarios youve thought of that you havent written about or shared yet, either deep or just fun and silly?

aaaaa thank you so much!!! i'm so happy you all give me the chance to express my thoughts and that you enjoy reading them even if i talk a whole lot.....i have definitely gotten very attached to this au and i'm glad you enjoy it with me, it's been so fun building it up and also getting to explain why make the choices i do (plus getting ideas from asks!!) also just so you know,,,,you have beautifully delicate work, it is so incredibly romantic in appearance and i absolutely love it ;o; it's so light and dreamy...i'm always amazed by how lovely it is!

as for other little scenarios, i have,,,,so many,,,,but i'll talk about a few of my faves!!

one scene i REALLY would like to draw out is raphael meeting with gabriel after he shows the councilor's head to heaven - raphael finds him before he leaves for hell and it's just...very quietly tragic, because the archangels in my headcanon are all connected, sharing in their souls and emotion. for gabriel's light to be ripped from him, for him to be bound for hell and surely for his death, is incredibly traumatizing for raphael, who will now also essentially be alone - michael left when god disappeared and uriel is in "meditation" (a coma really) so it's just been raphael and gabriel left, seeing each other in their brief times for rest (they all lived together - they would check on uriel before sitting together in the little time they had) they had drifted with all their duties, but they were forever bound as siblings and they took a lot of solace in each other's presence. at least that was constant. but now michael is gone, uriel won't wake up, and gabriel is dying. raphael is left as the last archangel standing and surely all of heaven will look to him for leadership. and gabriel knows he will be a good steward, not power hungry in the slightest. yet raphael is betrayed, hurt, he can't understand why this happened, why gabriel has to go now. there's so much to say and no time to say it. so ultimately raphael just embraces and blesses him (to gabriel's surprise given his slaughter of the council), telling him to take care even if there's no time left. i just. i love the archangels as a little sibling group that's fallen apart, yet there is still love in each of them ;~;

another scenario (or...set of vignettes i suppose) deal with v1's time before man's extinction, when it was still being tested in its facility. v1 was actually fairly "close" with the mechanics that repaired it and they got to know a lot of its idiosyncrasies (as well as v1 still using a lot of their vocabulary when it signs now) i have like. an entire silly scene where they wake it up for a little office party (NOT supposed to!!!!) and how v1 sometimes liked to "play hooky" from drills by pretending to be broken in some way (the mechanics got wise to it eventually, telling it that if it keeps that up they're gonna turn it back into scrap!!!) it didn't form any deep bonds with them like it might be able to now since it wasn't advanced enough then, but v1 remembers them fondly now that it has the capacity to. additionally, in that comic i made about meeting its makers in violence, i thought about including a little scene where one of the husks repairs some damage that had been done that blood couldn't heal and v1....sort of having a split-second of hesitation. because. that must be a mechanic. and in some way, it misses them. but really, all they want is for v1 to survive - that's why they would always fix it, even now.

OUGH also when v1 absolutely freaks out earlier on in its relationship with gabriel - i feel like i mentioned this at some point, but i really like the idea of gabriel becoming seriously injured in a fight with some demons/machines when he's adjusting to his fallen status, and in a panic v1 performs a blood transfusion. but. every single thing in its code screams at it not to, it has to bypass about a dozen security measures and shut down a decent portion of its functioning to allow itself to do so. but once it does, it realizes how off-programming the behavior was, to the point where it's convinced if it goes any further the corruption to its software will be so complete it risks fatal errors and brain death. so it bolts the minute gabriel comes to and it actually takes him about a week to find it again, absolutely terrified himself the entire time as he's not ready to lose v1 BUT ALSO significantly pissed off lol he's ready to give it plenty of shit upon reuniting with it, but with some explanation (as he REFUSES to let it run again), he comes to understand how serious this is...and just what v1 did for him in spite of all of its programming to the contrary.

THEN i just have a lot silly or cute things, like how v1 greatly enjoys bath time much to gabriel's surprise and often asks for "a wash" even when perfectly clean. i also KNOW i said this before, but v1 loves generating liminal pool rooms and impossible "animals" in its mind - it can spend HOURS doing this, and get VERY invested in it, but it didn't want gabe to be lonely so it made a "chatbot" to interact with him while it does this (v1 likes to call its internal bots "worker vee-s") he found it pretty funny since it was terrible, and quickly retired. oh oh and i also really like v1 and fallen gabriel staying with the ferryman for a bit when they don't yet have a place to live...and i talked about how the ferryman struggles accepting gabriel again, but i like to think gabriel still sings. he and v1 will snuggle in by the fire and he'll sing, just as beautiful as he did in haven even if it's now in the infernal language...and the ferryman will linger outside their door, listening to him sounding just the way he always has (they can get overwhelmed by it sometimes, but it helps when v1 cuts in with a midi remix lol) and finally since i've. gone on long enough. i know a lot of ppl do bird-coded gabe (rightfully so!!) but to me he is. sheep-coded. man will eat flowers right out of a window-box and headbutt as a primary way of attack. thank you.

[raisinchallah]

lol season 4 teen wolf post for the people reading my liveblogs but it got very long everyone else please scroll along

season 4 has definitely had the most outrageous and entertaining on its own type plot but it does also feel like this kind of turning point for the show that the characters feel a lot more bland than they did in earlier seasons not like they have ever been terribly deep but i feel like with fairly simplistic character types you can either make their take on that type more extreme and heighten them a bit every season or u can kind of regress to the mean and make everyone more normal which is unfortunately what teen wolf seems like its doing the latter like scott went from charismatic and fun guy caught up in all this weird supernatural bullshit which is like a fairly stock protagonist type in a lot of these kind of urban fantasy monster mash sorts of shows but you know played in a fun and engaging way with funny lines to ok hes now got the power and has graduated to the more boring character type of just nice guy hero who does the right thing and has the powers rather than guy out of his depth overwhelmed by this shit happening around him and stiles is just idk hes not really much of a weirdo loser anymore hes like succeeding at things and is less funny i think its also focusing less on scott and stiles hanging out which feels especially weird cuz of the revolving door of the rest of the cast nobody else is all that developed lydia definitely has the most interesting plot and most consistent character and growth but its also like i feel like half of her plot should be given to allison lol like uncovering insane family secrets and tangles and ancestors and having weird visions allison should be doing that with kate coming back as a villain she and lydia should be like besties having insane visions piecing this whole thing together and theyre digging up the skeletons in the family closet and such and allisons like hey lydia can u sense if i will ever kill someone i feel like i might have something dark deep down inside of me and lydias like (lying) no u dont have any air of death about u allison go back to sleep (average sleepover conversation for them) also i cant believe we havent gotten back to kiras 900 year old mom like excuse me dont leave that part hanging weird kiras now i guess a member of the main cast but it feels like she is actually getting less to do than when she was a guest star last season.. i think im realizing the problem is i actually think what worked about the show earlier was small but distinct from a lot of teen dramas that the characters were allowed to be like besties and the two little groupings of scott and stiles and lydia and allison felt like idk very real little pairs of besties but since the cast is constantly changing we are in dire straits in bestie land and everyones now just doing like regular dating drama instead very sad

[salvatoreren]

guess who's back about to destroy her life once again for the sake of letting a few loose thoughts hereee

ANYWAYS SO MANY HAS HAPPENED IN THESE LAST FEW MONTHS AND HONESTLY IDK IF IT SHAPED ME OR ONLY TRAUMATIZED ME KJDFHGJ

apparently i like taylor swift now and me coming back for speak now tv to rant is proof of tha, I JS WANNA SAY IM SO SORRY FOR THAT I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT PHASE, she's literally my top artist now, im so sorry taylor, never again, i dont deserve you

oh and apparently i like game of thrones too, along with hot d which is actually good because my writing actually got better watching them do these deep ass dialogue, it was fun, im either team green or team black bcus imo they both suck, im team strong boys

OH AND I LIKE JJK NOW MOST SURPRISING THING IN 2023, LIKE IT WAS NEVER FOR ME YK? BUT IG IT'S BECAUSE I FORCED IT ON MYSELF WATCHING IT, anyways a megumi edit got me through it, which is rlly cool because he was the only reason i ever watched the series omg so yeah and even when the yk what happened in the manga happened I WAS SO SHOCKED, tbh it was only a matter of time OH AND I READ THE MANGA AND IM IN PAIN OKAY

JJK S2 IS OUT TOO! I APPARENTLY WATCHED THE LEAKED VERSION IDGHJKLJF, THE SUBS WERE WELL SOO UNHINGED MY GOD BUT OMG THE OP AND THE ENDING WAS SOO COOL, THE ENDING PARTICULARLY SOSO CHILL, also i used to think gojo was overrated which is imo true but seeing his thought processes in the manga in his past arc and so on made me change my perspective, what im saying is i actually love his CHARACTER

like hellooo no one is allowed to take youth's youth??? WHAT HAPPENED TO U BB WHO HURT U, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN HIS TIME IN HIS CLAN OR SMTH

i still love eren ofc that never changed, still in tokrev ig im working myself tirelessly on this fic and yeah totally not wanting to kms bcus of it, the ending was a double-edged sword and i liked it tbh but i do acknowledge it has its flaws and doesnt have the best ending, tokrev has so many loose ends, i wish wakui had an assistant to keep him on track like yo i think u forgot to mention this or resolved it and i wish he had more time to work on it but im very grateful for this series bcus it quite literally saved my life.

and yeah i havent gotten into much either i keep visiting my old fandoms bcus im safe with them and then i get burnt out bcus im bitching how it's not the same kjdhbsgj but i am watching shadow and bone it doesnt appeal to me much but hoping i will anways

YEAH IM BACK, cant exactly say ive changed lots either ig, i still dont see it, my character development is nonexistent, i do think my old self here needed to chil kjdshgkjhg, she hated everything and yeah that sucks but ik i lowk i have a changed perspective after actually seeing my friends after the quarrantine and all that, able to feel what human interaction is and it was fun and i touched grass and stared at the sun lots so yeah,

but im actually going to distance myself lotsss in tumblr now, like not interacting much with ppl so i dont get burn out and go batshit crazy, not that i did in the beginning but i always looked for smth to hate so it's all on me, im the problem, but yeah doing it so i dont get burn out and leave again and totally going to have lots of breaks with it

[frxggie]

bubble bath hcs!

ayo bubble bath hcs bc i love bubble baths

sorry i havent gotten to you guys’ requests yet im working on it! pls be patient with me because I haven't had much time or motivation lately <3

ive never written headcanons before be nice </3

contains: todoroki, bakugou, amajiki, kiri

g/n reader

- he would accidentally walk in on you getting ready to take a bath and FREAKED out upon seeing you- he's just worried he invaded your privacy

-after you assured him it was okay you invited him to join you

-he says yes but ONLY if it's okay with you he checks like 209487238947 times to make sure it's okay before actually agreeing

- he's SUPER careful when touching anything- he's nervous as HELL and doesn't wanna hurt you with his quirk

-he likes his baths on the colder side- but he'll put up with it being warm for your sake <3

-when you put the bubble bath in and it was (your fav scent) scented he got excited because that's his favorite scent- it reminds him of you <3

-after you guys get out he'll wrap you up in a towel and use his quirk to warm you/dry your hair

-MAJOORRR cuddles afterwards :)

- he knew you were about to get in the bath- he just didn't care

-he walked right into the bathroom without knocking to ask you something

-you just gave him a "really?" look and shook your head

-might as well ask him to join you

-you ask and after a bit of convincing he finally says yes

-how did you get him to cave you might ask? oh it's totally because you annoyed him into it no it's definitely not because you mentioned a (your fav scent) bathbomb and two face masks you have lying around...

-this man likes his baths HOT-WAY too hot for your tastes

-you had to negotiate with him on the temperature- still too hot but better than before

-he was SUPER excited for the bath bomb- it was actually kinda cute

-he was actually SUPER gentle while washing your hair- he also has warm hands so it was nice <3

-he LOVES it when you wash his hair- it relaxes him instantly

-he's actually pretty into skincare so he was excited to do the face masks- even though you both looked ridiculous

-after you guys get out you'll put on PJ's and play videogames or watch a movie :)

- he accidentally walked in on you in a towel picking out which bubble bath scent to use

-you didn't scream but he did- loudly

- he got SO flustered, his face was bright red and he was stuttering out apologies while covering his eyes and trying to find the door

-you said it was alright and asked him if he wanted to join you

-he was confused at first, until you explained that you wanted to have a bubble bath and he was welcome to join you

-he hesitated, but agreed

-he LOVES bubble baths- they calm his anxiety and relax him :)

-he asked if the temperature was okay with you every few minutes

-when washing your hair he is SO gentle- and he keeps asking you if he's hurting you

-he's hesitant to let you wash his hair, but absolutely MELTS at your touch<3

- you two had a pretty deep heart-to-heart while in the bath- it was nice to talk about your feelings with someone you trusted so much <3

-after the bath you guys went right to sleep while cuddling in your fuzziest pj's- safest you've ever felt 10/10 :)

- he couldn't find you but he wanted to talk to you because it had been a long day

- he hears the bath running and knocks on the door, asking when you'll be out

- "not for a while- i'm not in yet! you're welcome to join me though!"

- he'll make sure you're okay with him seeing all of you first- then he'll come in

- he's a little awkward at first, but settles into it

- this man LOVES bubbles. you two ended up getting into a bubble fight :D

- BUBBLE BEARDS AND MAKING YOUR HAIR STICK UP WITH SHAMPOO- THOSE ARE HIS FAVORITE THINGS TO DO IN THE BATH

- you have to be kinda careful about washing his hair because of his hair dye

-it turns the water slightly pink despite your precautions

- he's also gentle when washing your hair. he doesn't wanna accidentally pull it or anything. he thinks your hair is super soft and fun to play with

- after you get out and dry off, he does your hair. blow drying it, curling it, straightening it, braiding it, pulling it back, even just brushing it- he's always loved to do your hair. so when you asked him to brush it for you, he was STOKED.

- spooning and LOTS of kisses for the rest of the night :) <3

[zmayadw]

Evening all :)

Hope you all had a nice few days :)

Anyway, here is the next part.

Enjoy your evening!

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 16

The sun was out already when i woke up the next day. Jake was still asleep next to me. He looked so peacful, no worry showing on his face. I smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek, running my hand through his hair. „'Morning, sleepyhead.“ I said, nibbling softly at his ear. He smiled, his eyes still closed. „Are you trying to kill me? I'm so sore from all the fun we had yesterday, i'm not sure i'll be able to get out of bed.“ I laughed at it „Don't worry, i'll let you rest.“ Adding, kissing him on the neck „At least for the morning.“ Now he laughed, taking the pillow form under his head, throwing it at me. „You're crazy.“ He said turning, giving me a long kiss. „You're welcome to take a shower.“ I told him „it might ease some of the soreness off.“ „That's not a bad idea.“ He gave me one more kiss, getting out of the bed. As he neared the bathroom doors, i asked „Is it ok if i turn my phone now?“ „Oh, i forgot.“ He said, going to the desk, unpluging my phone, handing it to me. „It's fine, you can use it normaly.“ „Thanks.“ I turned it on, checking a few messages i got while it was off. One was from Jessy, asking if i contacted Jake. I chuckled, thinking how Jessy will be thrown out of her shoes when i tell her about all that happened with him. I replied to her, asking if she wants to meet for coffee later. I checked other messages, and tensed a bit when i saw the one from Phil. „Hey gorgeous, hope you ok. Havent heard from you for a while, just checking up on you. Don't be a stranger ;)“ Shit, i tought, i forgot about Phil. I threw my phone on the bed, burrying my face in the pillow. Ah, crap. I will have to talk to Phil soon, and i dreaded it. He was always nice to me, and i was willing to give him a chance if things with Jake didnt turn out like this. I took my phone back, replying to Phil „Hey, hey, all is fine. Been bussy working. But thanks for checking up on me! Will come to Aurora for a drink soon, promise! :) „ Jessy replied in the mean time, telling she is free arround 13h, and i replied confirming our meeting. Phil also replied. „Glad to hear you ok! Dont work yourself out, take a break ;) See you soon, gorgeous.“ Bah, i tought, throwing my phone back to bed. I so didnt want to have another talk with Phil. Even tho he said he would be fine, i knew it wouldnt go easy on him. He really was into me, and i didnt feel good knowing what i had to do. I got lost in my toughts, that i havent noticed Jake was standing at the bathrom door, looking at me curiously. „Everything ok?“ he asked. I sighed, giving him a small smile „It will be.“ „You sure?“ he asked, and i could see he wasnt sattisfied with my answer. „Yes, Jake, im sure. Its nothing that cant wait.“ I said giving him a bit better smile. He looked at me a bit skeptically „Alright, if you say so.“ My phone rang then, and i was grateful for it. I really didnt want to talk to Jake about Phil, at least not right now. Jake got agitated at my phone as i took it, answering it a bit surprised. „Hannah?“ i said, and i saw Jake was being confused as much as me. „Hello, Maya.“ She replied cheerfuly „Hope i'm not disturbing you.“ „Ofcours not.“ I told her „Whats up?“ „Well, i called to ask if you are free tonight? I'm inviting everyone for drinks at the Aurora. I'v got some good news to share with you all.“ „Ofcourse!“ i told her cheerfuly. „Great.“ She chimed from the other side. „You we'r the last one i needed to call. I tried yesterday, but your phone was unreachable.“ „Yeah, i turned it off, wanted some peace while working, sorry.“ I said sounding apologetically, looking at Jake. He just grinned at me. „No need to apologise, i understand. Well, i do have someoe else to contact.“ She said „I dont suppose you heard from or seen my half-brother recently?“ „Jake?“ i asked, trying to sound surprised, and he looked at me rising his eyebrows. „No, sorry, i havent seen him, or talked to him recently.“ „Hmm, i called him few times, but he didnt answer or called me back.“ She said, sounding a bit worried. „Im sure hes fine.“ I told her, grinning at Jake., him shaking his head at

me. „Yeah, you're probably right. Anyway, i have to go now. Cya tonight, arround nine.“ „Cya tonight, Hannah.“ I lovered my phone, Jake asking „What was that about?“ „Well“ i started „Hannah wants for all of us to meet at the Aurora tonight, she has some news she wants to share.“ I looked at him inquiry. „Dont look at me, i have no clue what she wants.“ „Hmm, i guess we'll find out tonight then.“ I said. I looked at him „By the way, was it ok i told her i havent seen you? I mean, we havent really talked ourselves about all of this.“ He smiled, sitting next to me. „Its fine, Maya.“ He took my hand, entwining his fingers with mine. „Maybe we should keep it to ourselfs for a while.“ He said, but looked at me with a grin „Even tho i dont care who knows.“ I grinned „Same here.“ „Hmm, you sure about that?“ he asked, and i looked puzzled at him. „Well, we are meeting Hannah at Aurora tonight, and i know one person there who would care.“ Shit, i tought. „If you mean Phil, im very well aware of it.“ I said, getting up from the bed. I got a bit annoyed by Jakes words, even tho i knew he was right. „Maya“ Jake started, and i looked back at him. His eyes met mine, and my heart skipped a beat. I could see insecurity written all over his face, his eyes gloomy. „Do you still feel the same about Phil?“ he asked. I walked back to him, taking his head in my hands, leveling his eyes with mine. „Do you really have to ask me that, after all that happened?“ i told him witha a smile and kissed him. I moved back, meeting his eyes again. „It was always you that i wanted. Only you, Jake.“ He pulled me to him and kissed me, and this time it felt different. Before, his kisses wer packed with desire and lust. But this time his kiss was deep, tender, i would dare to say full of love. „You're amazing.“ He told me „I'm lucky to have you.“ He kissed me again, with that same depth and tenderness as earlier, sending tingles. This time, every move we made was slow and gentle. This time, we made love.

I was getting my sneakers on, as Jake was zipping his hoodie. „Will you be ok tonight? At the Aurora?“ i asked him. „I mean, seeing Phil acting as he would arround me.“ He groaned a bit „Not really, but i'll survive.“ I walked to him, putting my hands arround his neck, saying teasingly „I'll make it up to you later, if you promise to behave.“ He raised his eyebrow at me „That sounds tempting“ he started „But i cant promise you i wont be tempted to not behave.“ I grined at him, giving him a quick kiss „Well, do your best.“ „That, i can promise.“ He said, grining back. I let go of him, grabing my phone checking the time before throwing it at my purse. I took the car keys „I'm gonna be late! You ready?“ „Yes, lets go.“ I gave him the car keys, and he drowe us to the towns center. „Are you gonna tell Jessy about us?“ he asked. „I dont know.“ I said „She was the one who begged me to contact you about the calls, so she knows abou that.“ I paused for a while, a smile creeping to my face „And Jessy can be quite perceptive, she might figure out on her own that something is up.“ I looked at him „Would it be alright with you if she knew?“ „I wouldnt mind“ he said „If she can keep it to herself, for now at least.“ „If i ask it of her, she will.“ I told him. „You two became really close.“ He said , as we came to the parking in the center. „We did , she means a lot to me.“ He turned to me, taking the keys from the ignition. „But you are on top of my 'special people' list.“ I said leaning in for a kiss. He kissed me back, moving away, giving me the keys. „Good.“ He said, grinning „Now off you go, you're late already. And before anyone sees us.“ We left the car, and i started walking backwards from it, blowing him a kiss „See you tonigh.“ He smiled „See you, Maya.“

Jessy was already at the cafe when i came, sitting myself on the chair accross from her „I'm late, i know, i'm sorry!“ I looked at her appologeticaly. „Its fine“ she said, smiling „I got here few minutes ago myself, to be honest.“ „Good.“ I told her. „So what have you been up lately?“ i asked, her face getting cheerful. „Well, as a matter of fact, i have some good news.“ „Yeah? Well, out with it allready!“ i chimed happily. „Ok, ok. Well you know i had to find a new job, after all that happened.“ Her face got a bit gloomy as she said it, and i understood it. I gave her a small smile, thinking how much her life must have been affected by all that have happened. Jet, she stayed so positive through it all. „Anyway“ she continued „I had a job interwiev today.“ „Oh, Jessy, that's great!“ i exclaimed cheerfuly „Where at?“ She smiled „At the library.“ I clapped my hands at it, i knew how much Jessy liked that place, and books, too. „Thats excellent, not just good news, Jessy! I'm happy for you.“ i told her, smiling sencerely. „Well, i havent gotten the job, jet.“ She started „But i have a very good chance for it.“ „I'm sure you will get it.“ I told her. „Anyway, enough about me. Did you contact Jake already?“ she asked, getting all serious on me. „I did.“ I said, a small smile appearning at the corner of my lips. „Good.“ She said, not noticing „And, what happened?“ A lot, i tought to myself. „Well, he checked my phone, to see if it was hacked or something.“ „Did he find anything?“ I sighed „Unfortunatly, no.“Thats not good.“ Jessy said „Can't he do anything else? I mean, isn't that like his expertise?“ „He is trying one more thing.“ I told her. „He connected' to my incoming calls, again.“ I started, and Jessy looked inquiringly at me. „We're hoping he can figure out the location from where the calls are comming like that.“ „Hmm, that would be usefull.“ „Indeed“ i said „I just wish all would end soon, i'm getting terrified by it all, Jessy.“ „I know, Maya“ she said „I'm sure Jake will be abel to find something.“ „I hope so, Jessy.“ I said. „He will.“ She said, smiling reasuringly at me „We all know how skillful he is.“ Indeed, i tought, and not just with computers. Jessy was looking at me now, like she could read my toughts. She squinted her eyes at me „Something else is up.“ „What do you mean?“ i said, trying to sound as calm as i could. „You look different.“ „Different how?“ i asked. „I dont know“ she started „It's like, you're glowing.“ She continued looking at me, and i got a bit fidgety. She was staring intensly at me. Then, all of a sudden, her eyes opened wide, a grin on her face. „You hooked up!“ she almost screamed. „What?“ i tried to sound confused, but she didnt bought it. „You and Jake, you hooked!“ she chimed again. „Dont denie it!“ she said, grinning at me. I groaned „Fine! Yes, we hooked.“ I looked at her, and we both started squilling like a teenage girls. „Finaly!“ she said laughing „Im happy for you, Maya.“ „Thanks, Jessy. Im happy ,too. But, please, keep it to yourself. At least for now.“ I said pleadingly. „Ohh, i'll try my best, i promise.“ she said. „Give it your best, at least for tonight.“ I pleaded her again. She got serious „Uh, oh, Aurora tonight.“ „Yes, Aurora tonight.“ I said, dreadfully “It can never be simple for me.“ She gave me an akward smile, squizing my hand. We stayed silent for a moment, before a smile started creeping back to Jessys face. „Sooo“ she started „Jake and you? Talk! And i want to hear everything. And i mean, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.“ I laughed, Jessy looking at me with the biggest grin on her face. „Alright.“ I said, Jessy clapping her hands excitedly.

[ledamemangociana]

RANKING HAISUTE (or the ones i’ve seen so far)

not that anyone has asked me, but i’ve literally been so hyperfixated on these shows for MONTHS and although i’ve gotten my bestie into them now, it’s not like i can bombard them with all these deep-ish dives into these things and how much and why i love them, so i thought HEY why not just put it out into the ether coz DAMN i really wanna talk about them.

under the cut for length (HELLA LENGTH) and spoilers.

let me preface this first by saying i havent seen ALL the shows yet. i havent ever watched the first run of Itadaki No Keshiki, and i havent seen any of the new Karasuno cast shows yet, as by the time i had gotten hooked on these shows, the time to watch Strongest Challengers and Battle At The Garbage Dump on DMM.com had passed, and with my limited budget (i havent been able to work properly since literally mid-July last year), it’ll be a while before i can afford their twin pack DVD when it comes out next month. ALTHOUGH i am hoping to be able to download Fly High on DMM.com before the availability runs out in the middle of March, if i’ll actually have enough money for that.

additionally, i rank these from my least favorite to most favorite, but that does not mean that i hate or dislike any of them. in fact, i have little to zero negative things to say about any of these shows. i just happen to love some more than the others, and i think you’ll be able to tell by how long i go on about each show. i’ll TRY to keep things concise but im telling you now, i’ve already tried this once until an accidental button press erased everything i had written, and this will not be short. at all.

i’ll start first with the things i love about Haisute in general:

quite obviously, the projections. before i finally saw Haisute this year, i had only ever seen BNHA, KNY and Kuroshitsuji musicals, and while they have awesome set pieces, i had never seen video projections utilized the way Haisute does, and i think it’s so wonderful and creative, and so technically sound on everyone’s part. like, it has to be so precise with cast performance and blocking and sound and lights...like. dudes. shout-out to the tech staff of Haisute, y’all are amazing.

the acting performances in general. i dont think there’s a bad actor at all in any of these. some stiff-ish performances (Noah Ishikura as Lev, but mostly in SoE, which was his first time acting ever, so understandable), maybe, but even those actors do great when they’re having a pivotal moment, scene or dialogue. it’s hard to pick faves but somehow i do have them, lol - Kenta Suga as Hinata (obviously), Kentaro as Daichi, Hiroki Ino as Suga, Kousuke Asuma as Oikawa, literally ALL THREE BOKUTOS, literally BOTH AKAASHIS, Ami Saito as Yachi, Tatsunari Kimura as Kageyama, and my top two faves, Shori Kondo and Takato Nagata as KuroKen. for obvious reasons (see: my numerous gifsets that i still have so much to add to alkdjf).

the music is WONDERFUL. the varieties across shows, teams and characters while still maintaining the main themes are just so good. it’s easier for them to be highlighted to since there isnt any singing, and so many moments are told through the music rather than the music accompanying the moment imo.

the choreography is gold af. im sad we lose HIDALI after Tokyo Battle, but im sure the rest of the shows still keep that amazing spark. but i juST. HIDALI’s choreography is iconic. i’ll talk abt it a bit more in some of the entries in the list.

OKAY, now on to the rankings.

7. View from the Top (2nd Run) so again, I DONT HATE ANY OF THESE SHOWS. the reason this is at the bottom of my list is mostly because of what it doesnt have through no fault of its own, rather than anything that it does. i personally love watching character growth and evolution, so for the most part, the first story in anything that has multiple follow-ups tend to be my least favorite part, and i come to enjoy them more as a “look how far we’ve come” thing. that being said, i do think this was such an awesome show to kick-off what has become an iconic 2.5D franchise. so much of it feels like the transition from potential to kinetic energy. a little show that could, and then did. i do think i enjoy this more with a nostalgic sort of fondness than i do with a “look how cool this thing is!” feeling, but again, that’s coz i enjoy watching things changing rather than at the start. what definitely stands out to me here is that i came to it this as only my fourth 2.5D franchise, and the ones i’d watched before this were so different in staging and execution, and that really had me hooked. also, this franchise honestly is one of the best casting in any show i’ve ever seen in my life, like wtf, i havent seen a badly cast actor at all, even for the side characters i dont really pay that much attention to otherwise. you cant help but be sucked into the bright light that is Kenta Suga, and Kousuke Asuma has to be the most Oikawa Oikawa to ever Oikawa anything Oikawa. Tatsunari, Ryotaro and Justin absolutely jumped right out of the manga and anime and onto the stage as Kags, Tsukki and Asahi. and GAWD do i love me some Kentaro and Hiroki as DaiSuga. i went in a big fan and simp of Hiroki Ino and Sugawara, so for the first couple of watches, i was heavily focused on Ino!Suga, but by the third rewatch, Ken-chan came around a corner and smacked me in the face with a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. when that man smiles, i just get murdered.

6. Start of the Giant i honestly had a hard time picking between this and InK for the bottom spot, not because i hate this (AGAIN, I DONT HATE ANY OF THESE SHOWS), but because of how this show feels to me. ultimately, i picked this one to win over InK because of how much character progression is shown between these two shows. stating the obvious, KAZUMA KAWAHARA. HOO BOY. and big, BIG shout-outs to Kouhei Shiota for portraying Tanaka’s emotional roller-coaster so excellently to stride alongside Ennoshita’s big journey and Kazuma’s powerhouse performance. i also wanna spotlight how much more comfortable Tatsuya Kageyama was in his second go-around as Kags, and how well Keita Tanaka and Naoki Tanaka came in as new(old)!Daichi and new!Suga. it took me a while to get to this show because i was so sad to lose Ken-chan and Hiroki after SoE, and i thought i just would not be able to love DaiSuga the same way. turns out that that’s a good thing, because they do play similar but different DaiSugas to Kentaro and Hiroki. it possibly also helped to know that KT wasn’t entirely new, and to have known of Naoki from BNHA (with Hiroki!), although i hadnt known it was him until i started the show up at last, lol. Kentaro got to play a captain who was warm and very much one of the boys, someone who was growing into the role of a captain of a team that had a very real chance of going farther than it had in a while, while KT got to play a Daichi who, fittingly, was more established as a pillar of the group (and im sure the storytelling of this show helped with that), more of that Dadchi that we know and love. Hiroki got to play a gentle but mischeivous Suga who was all about watching over and taking care of the team, watching and waiting for his turn while understanding that Kags was their best chance, while Naoki got to play a more active, more athletic Suga who was becoming more active the closer the team got to Nationals. their performances stood out not just coz they were new, but because of the theme of this story in particular, about captains and leading, so i thought it was quite a nice way to welcome them into the fold. i also of course enjoyed Johzenji and Wakunan, maybe Johzenji more than Wakunan. i saw someone say they’re a bit like Fukurodani and Nekoma lite, and i can totally see and agree with that. this show also feels a bit like Revival lite, in that it’s got a fun first half and then a more action-packed second match with an emotional gutpunch at the end. but ultimately, this is lower on my list because, through no major fault of its own, it felt like a filler show, considering what was coming after this. it felt a bit like “lets’ get on with this story so we can get on to the last hurrah that everyone is looking forward to.” of all the side teams to have been portrayed in the Engeki story, i feel like i remember johzenji and wakunan less. again, that’s not really anyone’s fault, it’s just where this show was positioned in the timeline and what it was ultimately representing. as a parting thought tho, i just wanna shout-out the new lighting scheme they did for this show, especially coming from SoE where there was a lot of darkness or back-lighting. this show is brighter lit in general than most of the shows that came before it, and idky exactly but i do appreciate that a lot.

5. Winners And Losers objectively, this is probably one of the top 3 shows in all of Haisute’s history. but it’s lower on my list because it is the most taxing to watch and rewatch, not because it’s too slow or anything like that, but because it really just is such a tiring story, and i think that’s deliberate on the part of the writers and directors. this was Karasuno’s first major loss, and it was against an opponent they thought they knew, so of course the lead-up had to be a big deal. it’s also a story that revolves quite a bit around kageyama reaching a turning point and learning a few lessons that would ultimately change him, so the story had to also execute that change happening not just in Kageyama but around him. add to that the fact that this was Tatsunari’s goodbye performance (as well as Shohei’s as Noya, but then he doesn’t really get a big emotional moment here) and it’s just heavy on the emotions all around. the comedic distraction of ShoriTaka as Tetsuko and Kenko was honestly quite welcome, lmao. quick little shout-out to Kousuke Asuma and Allen Kohatsu as IwaOi, since they got to really show off the different sides to both those characters in this, and they just are stellar in general. that bit at the end of one of their flashbacks where Iwa-chan tells Oikawa that he’s not the only one fighting, there’s six people in that team, and Oikawa breaks into laughter as Kousuke strips off the flashback jacket, and Iwa’s like “uuuhhh did i hit you too hard, or?” UGH, i love that bit, that almost creepy laugh from Kousuke and the way he comes out of it to say “suddenly im not so upset” is just SO good. im also so happy to see Hiroki get his due as Suga when he finally gets to step up to the plate - or net, as it were - and basically pinch-hit for Kags. he plays senpai!Suga so sweetly, like you really can’t help but love him coz he’s so caring. i also did not expect to be hit right in the feels with the switch back from him to Kageyama, but that bit where he says “it’s frustrating, but hinata’s expression when he’s hitting my sets is different from when it’s yours” really got me. and then when he had to leave the court, asahi and daichi send a fist bump his way, and he gives just this tiny fist bump wave that’s both tired and disappointed and sad, and it’s juST! it hurts me everytime. and before this gets long, im gonna just spotlight the last 10-15 minutes of the show, right after Karasuno loses. Kenta absolutely nails Hinata’s expression in the manga, that wide-eyed disbelief and shock. and then when Daichi tells him not to apologize because he didn’t miss, when Daichi just walks over and hugs him, good gawd. (sidebar, but i’m so glad i got to see that bit with both Ken-chan here and KT in Strongest Team.) and the way Hinata couldn’t move after thanking the audience, not even after Ukai called him back, so Daichi had to actually go get him? my heart was in PIECES. and then the fuggin dinner scene. LORD ABOVE. like, if you dont love Kenta Suga as Hinata, this is the scene that should convince you you’re wrong.

4. The Strongest Team this is right smack dab in the middle of the list because it’s probably the best staged show of all the seven that i’ve seen, but it also hurts me so much for all the obvious reasons. this is the one i’ve rewatched the least, and everytime i rewatch it, i cry as if it’s the first time im watching it. the whole show absolutely feels like a tribute to the Karasuno cast and all the growth they’ve had and contributed to Haisute over their three years with the show, and the entire thing feels so fond, if that makes any sense. everyone on the team gets a big emotional moment, and it’s so sweet to see them each paid tribute. aside from them, i gotta AGAIN shout-out kousuke as oikawa. i like aoba josai enough, i like oikawa enough as a character, but that moment when kousuke absolutely broke down in the locker room after losing to karasuno broke my heart, even more so knowing that he absolutely felt all that gratitude because he wasnt sure he’d be able to come back to the show coz of his hip injury. i think one little moment that doesnt get as talked about as it should is just after he and Iwaizumi have that short convo of always being each other’s partners even after they’ve moved on to different schools. they do their fist bump, and then Iwa walks away, but Kousuke/Oikawa is still absolutely in tears, and as Iwa walks off, he just kind of reaches out and lets out a pained “Iwa-chan!” that’s just barely audible, and that jUST. GETS ME EVERYTIME. hell, im feeling a little heartstring pull right now just thinking about it. i also wanna shout-out Shiratorizawa because Engeki made me actually care about them. like, okay - i dont hate Shiratorizawa, at all. but watching the anime, despite having an entire season be around them, i just never really latched onto them. i like Ushiwaka enough, and i just...dont like Tendou (sue me). but Engeki Haikyuu has a habit of spotlighting other teams and characters enough to make you actually think about them and care about them, and Shiratorizawa was the biggest example of that for me. their theme is awesome, it’s this big, deep, heavy thing that feels as big and broad as the players look. and i could feel their almost militaristic teamwork when the coach is on them, and it’s so good. speaking of Coach Washijo, shout-out to that flashback scene to his younger days. Kenta looked absolutely risible in the wig and giant eyebrows, but i think it was an important touch to have the person playing Hinata be the person playing younger Washijo, because their inner conflicts are basically the same, and Washijo comes to appreciate Hinata’s efforts because of it, so i thought that was a nice touch. (still dont like Tendou tho, sue me.) i gotta end this entry coz it’s getting long, so im just gonna quickly list my favorite scenes/moments:

Yamaguchi’s pinch serve, and bringing out the spear. Kairi Miura wields that spear like he’s been doing it all his life.

Tsukki’s big “GODDAMMIT I THINK I LOVE VOLLEYBALL NOW” moment. the expression on ryotaro’s face right at the end of that scene, where he’s basically saying “it’s just a club, AND YET!” uuuggggghhhh, please i love it. also, shout-out to when Hinata pointed at him and just said “...nice.” like...that always feels like only half Hinata and Tsukki, and more half-Kenta and his best friend Ryotaro, just like the “Tsukki! that one was worth a 100 points!” line that absolutely gets Ryotaro so that on the live cam he had to turn his head away before he meant to for the next bit.

that moment in the last-ish set of the match where everyone is just DESPERATE to win, so it becomes this frantic rally and volley where everyone just starts to grunt and yell louder and louder, and people are running back and forth and jumping and diving, and it’s just this cacophony of sound and blur of movement that just seems to stretch on and on, until finally Shiratorizawa just yells “SHUT UP! WE’RE STRONGER!” and knocks all of Karasuno down. WHEW. that bit is just. WHEW. i almost always forget to breathe at that point. and then the waterworks get turned on as Ukai tearfully tells them to get back up, because volleyball is a sport where you HAVE to look up. LORDDDDD.

the bit towards the end of the match, after tsukki returns from his injury, where they absolutely acted out Ushiwaka pushing Hinata and Tsukki to the floor and holding their heads down. when i first watched it, i gasped because that is straight out of the anime and manga, and then when the rest of Karasuno came in to pull Ushi off, i just turned into a giant sobbing mess.

the graduation curtain call, obviously, but in particular, the bit that will ALWAYS, WITHOUT FAIL, destroy me is when Kenta says “this show was so tiring and tough sometimes, but when i look back, all i can remember are the good times, the best times.” GODDAMMIT IM TEARING UP BADLY RN JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT BIT.

3. Summer Of Evolution this is where the lines between the rankings get a little bit blurred, because i love these top three equally for the most part, but i had to choose a number two (i absolutely know what my number one is), and when i really think about it, SoE just gets edged out by my number two, but barely. i think what i love the most about this show is that this, more than any of the other shows, really portrays these characters as high school kids. and that’s not just because part of the story is set in the school and it’s actually showing the school sometimes, but coz they’re going through and portraying teenage experiences and emotions. most of the other shows portray the team in matches, so we’re seeing them more as volleyball players than teenagers or students, but we get to finally see that here, and it’s really refreshing. other than that, im gonna try to just list some of my highlights and favorites again coz i dont wanna keep going too long:

im so glad to finally have girls on the show, and not just in a “YAY FEMINISM! GIRL POWER! WHOO!” kind of way. kiyoko has always felt like an inextricable part of the team for me, so it was bittersweet to have such a great Karasuno cast but without a Kiyoko, so i was REALLY happy to finally get her here! and for a first time actor ever, Shizune was so awesome! she absolutely has that gentle strength that Kiyoko has, and the way she’s been written in absolutely does feel like she’s always been there. i do wish she got more to do with the third year boys, but all in all, it’s SO good to have an actual Kiyoko who absolutely looks like she came out of the manga.

im also just so DAMN happy about Yachi and her portrayal here. i think ami saito is so dang perfect, and yachi is such a fun addition that fits right in with the chaotic fun of Karasuno. one thing that i REALLY love, though, is how she gets to just act. before Haisute, my only experience of female characters and actors on a 2.5D stage is with Uraraka (and two or three other female students) in BNHA and Elizabeth in Kuroshitsuji, and those characters are your typical cutesy girls, and their movements and body language are so typically girly, you know what i mean, those softer arms and smaller movements, looser fingers, these little “Kyaa~” things, those things. but Kiyoko, Yachi and Saeko arent like that, so that’s not how they’re portrayed here. Ami as Yachi is just as loud and expressive and active as the Karasuno boys, bar actually playing in a match. also, her chemistry with Kenta is SO GOOD. i dont really ship YachiHina, i think they’re cute friends, but BOY DID THESE TWO MAKE ME RETHINK THAT. ami’s Yachi with Kenta’s Hinata made me think “YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THESE TWO GO ON A CHAPERONED DATE.” they’re adorable. a particular fave of mine is when hinata climbs a tree to help a baby bird back into its nest and he asks Yachi if she wants to climb up too, and also after Yachi finishes making the Hinata poster, she jumps onto the back of Hinata’s bike and they ride off-stage together. PLEASE IT’S SO CUTE.

also: SAEKO NEE-SAN PLEASE STEP ON ME.

OH HI FUKURODANI. they are such good chaos boys, i love them. i dont have much to say about them here just yet, but WOW im so glad to have them onstage at last.  

NEKOMA IS BACK THANK GAWD I LOVE NEKOMA. of all the teams portrayed, i think nekoma is the one that feels the most connected together (AHA!). like, even when they have a new character and/or cast member, the new ones never really stand out as new, they feel like they’ve always been there. this play really showcases the teams at their most casual so we dont get to see as much of their excellent teamwork and connection as we do in past and future shows, but you really get a sense of their family dynamic and just GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, and honestly dont get me started on ShoriTaka, i will literally never stop

shout-out to Tatsuya Kageyama, he had big shoes to fill not just in terms of character but also as an actor, since this is his first show ever. much like with KT and Naoki as DaiSuga, it does feel like he plays a similar enough Kageyama without just mimicing Tacchu. this is also the right Kags arc to introduce a new Kageyama actor with as well, since there’s a big change after that loss to Aoba Josai and Oikawa, so i think the writing of the show also absolutely helped Kage-chan ease into his role, and helped the audience ease into this new Kageyama. overall, i think he did an awesome job, and we’re really fortunate to have had two awesome Kageyamas before gen 1/1.5 changed to gen 2.

i also just noticed/realized that the backstage video for SoE starts with the introduction of Kage-chan and Fucchi as new cast members, and ends with the farewell to Ken-chan and Hiroki as graduating members, and i know that’s just natural coz the first time the Karasuno cast met the two new members was at the photoshoot for visuals, but also what a nice little circle of life there.

COMING INTO THE HOMESTRETCH NOW, if you’ve made it this far, thank you SO MUCH, im sorry, i really just have a tendency to ramble, and like i said, i dont really have anyone or an opportunity to talk this deep about these shows to, so thanks so much for your time.

2. Karasuno, Revival! WHEW okay, so idk if this is Unpopular Opinion or controversial coz objectively it is the best show so far, and i’ve put it only at number 2. BUT LISTEN: before i saw Tokyo Battle, this was absolutely my number 1 favorite. the Dateko match is so good and so fun to watch, and honestly, that rap battle gives me so much life im almost immortal now. i LOVE that they also got to show ikejiri (THANK YOU KENTA SUGA) and ken-chan as daichi got his moments because of it, and it gave us “katou tou shinakya, katenai!” as an iconic quote and theme for the show, we got a fantastic moment for Asahi that was paid off from the previous show, also honestly “otchita kyougo, tobenai garasu” is just gonna be stuck in your head forever for a while. we also got Kousuke and Allen’s excellent IwaOi back, bringing with them their “Iwa-chan, are you my mom” dynamic (and gawd the cackle i let out when Iwa yeets a volleyball at Oikawa, or that turn and yell that makes Oikawa yelp as he exits off stage lkasdjf), which is always a plus. but! BUT!! best thING FOR ME???? NEKOMA, BABY!! like im sorry, im biased, but i fuggin LOVE nekoma, kuroo is my favorite character in the entire series, and Haisute really gave them a fantastic story and dynamic, because again, there’s so much you can do on stage that you sometimes cant do in anime or manga, so they were really able to highlight Nekoma’s famous teamwork, especially when centered around Kenma. more on that later, but like. it was just such a JOY to watch Karasuno, still kind of scattered puzzle pieces at this point trying to figure out how to best go together to create one big picture, go up against the smooth teamwork of Nekoma, and learn and grow from it. also they honestly have the best team theme music and team dance, fite me. also thank you Haisute for making KuroDai so painfully real lakdsfj

1. Tokyo Battle okay okaY OKAY OKAY OKAY. i think there are some people who actually like this the least coz it’s just too different from the rest of the shows that came before it - no Karasuno, less projections, different music style, aesthetically different stage, etc. B U T. aside from me just being biased because Nekoma are my favorite team, i actually think many of those differences are what makes this show my favorite one. first of all, the music is LIT AF. the themes for each team are so distinct, they really help play up the animal motifs that are played up the most in this show than in any of the others. secondly, THAT CHOREOGRAPHY THO. good gawd. HIDALI said “it’s our last Haisute, let’s go out with a bang” and they really fuggin did. Fukurodani absolutely is TOKYO PARTY TIME, they got to really play up their party birds schtick and i love it. Nohebi i cannot HELP but love because i love snakes, but also, with Nohebi’s cast, you can tell the choreographers were so happy to finally have an actual technical dancer. they had yuu fukuzawa doing the most and then some in playing up the snake theme, and it’s literally so hypnotic to watch his pops, locks and isolations. he’s also just such an AWESOME daisho, and it helps that nohebi are written to be cunning and sneaky. i also love that he and Kuroo seem to actually have a lot of untold history, and i kind of wish we could get a bit more elaboration on that, coz Yuu’s and Shori’s chemistry as frenemy team captains is SO GOOD. and then of course. NEKOMA, BABY!! so okay. kenma absolutely should be the lead of this show, and he is, BUT he’s also, to a certain extent, inextricable from Kuroo and the rest of the team, so that you dont always get that feeling of Kenma being in the spotlight the same way Hinata is (for understandable reasons since Nekoma arent even really the main characters of the story as a whole), and i think that’s important because, again, Nekoma is all about that teamwork and connection. like, Kenma is the lead because he thinks for Nekoma, and Nekoma acts accordingly, instead of how it is usually where the story is showing Hinata’s perspective alone. it also feels like that in terms of the actors. like, technically Takato is zachou, and he is, but also several times in the curtain call speeches, the cast members refer to or mention both Takato and Shori together. even Takato says that when he had spoken to Kenta about how nervous he was about taking up the zachou mantle from him, Kenta had said “if it’s you and shori, you’ll be fine.” they are a unit, and it really comes across in their portrayals of Kuroo and Kenma as well, and even if you love nothing else about this show, you literally cannot help but love that about them. i think the show does a great job revolving the Nekoma team dynamic around that too without making it the ONLY thing that keeps Nekoma together. the star of the show is absolutely the theme of “connection” (more than the other theme of promises), and if you’ve seen the show and you dont cry at the “Tsunage” section as Nekoma wins the match against Nohebi, then are you really watching the show lmao.

OKAY OKAY I’VE REALLY RAMBLED ON, and if you made it all the way here, THANK YOU AND IM SORRY. but also, there’s still a lot of things i wanna talk about that i didnt talk about here coz im mostly a scatterbrain and live half my life radiating BDE - Bokuto Dumbass Energy. so if you’re also ridiculously obsessed with these shows and wanna talk about it, my inbox is open. someone come hyperfixate with me while i make SO MANY MORE GIFSETS OHMYGOD ALL THE GIFSETS geezas crust when i get to Tokyo Battle i will be insufferable.

[starryfreckles]

Flavie and Ayumi Live (26 mai 2020 on YouTube francetv slash) 

Translation/Summary -

(I apologise in advance for the typos. i didnt really read this over tbh)

Interviewer: Where are you at the moment?

Flav: I’m at home, in my room

Ayumi: I’m at my country house in my room. [Her friend joined her there when deconfinement happen and now they’re living their best life. There’s sun and everything is good]

Flav is chilling “la vida loca” she says

Is it not too frustrating to live this 6th season in confinement and SKAM France has a reputation of having very involved fans and with the screenings?

A: Yes, its very frustrating but then again it’s something that I haven’t really lived the projections with the fans so I dont know what it does. But just the feedback of social media is incredible. Its a good preview at what can happen in a live screening.

F: Yea I agree. It is frustrating but seeing everyone on social media is kind of reassuring and comforting and like Ayumi said, we dont know that [the screenings] so its not that frustrating.

what kind of reactions have you guys had on social media?

[flav and ayumi arguing who goes first. Its the cutest thing ever. Flav always wants ayumi to go first]

A: Just love and positivity. On my end is really incredible. I thank everyone. It’s really just incredible.

F: Its so wonderful. At night, I really try to read all the dms on instagram and even if I cant respond to everyone, know that I read everything and I translate everything that isn’t in French. If I  were to reply to everyone, it would take a long time so that’s not possible. I dont speak all the languages of the world so I copy and paste is translate to understand.

-video cuts out-

I: we were talking about fan reactions so let’s continue. Have you gotten any that made you surprised, laugh, smile, made you emotional, etc?

A: what is beautiful is that ive gotten many messages from girls and boys who said that they had similar a similar relationship to Lola and Maya in the sense that one helps the other more because of addiction problems. And that’s always nice to hear that they just wanted to thank skam for writing and portraying this kind of story. And of course the reaction of la mif. It’s true the character Jo has been loved by fans. She is so funny and so great and she’s [actress who plays jo, louise] really like that in real life. Like literally from A to Z

Flav agrees.

A: “Louise just played Louise” and it’s just so funny. And everyone online says they want to be friends with jo becuase she made this joke pr did that but she’s really like that.

F: she’s always joking

A: and she just comes up with stuff on the spot

I: we really just can’t wait to see La Mif reunite and see how they are in real life because they are just awesome on screen.

Flav and ayumi agree

I: Maya’s arrival to the season that was a little intense, let’s not lie, is like a ray of light. What does that do to you for having that role of the character who brings light and wonder? (This is kinda hard to translate)

A: its incredible to bring that kind of message, like you said, this light. She is totally this kind of girl that I would love to be friend with. It’s hard to explain. It’s just so beautiful. Maybe flav has something to say.

F: it’s true that you and La Mif brought a light for everyone. Even me when I see my family and close ones they say that they are so funny and new and that they felt my pain [as lola] even if its a show and its feels weird to see you like that because you’re close to us but seeing them [lola + la mif] is a good mix. And ayumi you bring so much like when your face lights up when Lola comes up the stairs its incredible.

A: its a chemical reaction. Its incredible. But flav I saw you on screen and everything that you brought, what David saw. And we lived it but for us it seems natural and on screen and rediscovered the characters and the chemistry at the same time as everyone else.

Flav and Ayumi saying that they havent seen the whole thing before hand and are constantly check their phone for new clips. They have the notifications for the YouTube channel.

F: we at least have the hours for the clips AT LEASTT and thankfully

A: which flav sent me because I didnt have them and she left me panicked for 2 weeks and then she finally sent them over.

F: its great. They’re on my fridge and I cross off each day with my parents and we are one it. My dad everyday is like there’s a clip. So funny.

I: Just so we’re on the same page, there’s a clip today right?

I: [fan question] what do you love the most and the least in the character you play?

A: flav please start

F: I love her “who the fuck are you talking to me like that” and her fuck you attitude. I love that she shows off that nothing moves her but deep down not really, like everyone I guess. I love that about her and she’s so natural. I love her, I really love her. Something negative. That’s hard.

I: you are a very happy, bubbly person. Is there not her depressed, dark side that bothers you?

F: well lola is just full of emotions where we’re going to see everything. But really what I dont like is her fashion sense.

A: im dead. But I was going to say the same thing

F: maya’s fashion sense? You are crazy. And also girl it’s your clothes they used as costumes

A: no no but people have made edits with you know the big pink coat or my outfit at the supermarket and its there that I realised how ridiculous even if they not really.

F: well I think theyre great. Love the pink coat

A: ill send it to you with fedex. I dont have it but ill send it to you.

F: when we were doing costume fittings I told the costume designer that it was simple and that I would be stealing all of these looks. Im going to take a suitcase, im going to take ayumi’s clothes, put them in my suitcase and go back to Vance with them. And I took nothing from lola by the way. She just doesn’t have a style. She doesn’t neglect herself but its her I dont care attitude, again.

A; I love maya’s engagement and her will towards everything and everyone. Shes a teenager but that’s beautiful to be engaged in many causes. She just really wants everyone, her friends, to be well and happy. But otherwise things I dont like outside of her clothes I dont know. Clothes is like the best answer

F: you forgot about her makeup. The makeup artist did her eyeliner and dots under the eyes and I was there like do the same thing with me!

A: that is really the best thing in all of humanity. It was so cool.

F: honestly. The makeup artist gave everything on you but on me she went in the morning like poof poof ‘well that’s it honey, there’s nothing else I can do for you’

A: you forgot the drama hair!

F: oh my god. She would pour oils and everything you want on my head. “You could like cook French fries”

A: flavie says that but you know she can wear whatever she wants and still look good

F: awe I love you

I: Did the age difference between you hinder your ability to be friends?

A: no not at all. What do you think flav?

F: not at all. Im just the baby of the group, im the youngest but we all so dumb together that we don’t realise

A: exactly. We all act like we’re 7

F: all of us together is horrible. The whole mif. Intolerable.

I: how was youre guy’s first meet?

F: ok let me tell you from my point of view because its quite funny.

A: she was so annoying. She looked at me all weird. she was not cool No that’s not true at all. She was adorable. Trop cute

F: I arrive to the production offices and im with David signing contracts and he says don’t move I have a surprise. And im like oh no what has he brought me a croissant or something and he brings back ayumi. So we start talking for like 10 minutes and I did not who she was actually. And I was like who tf is this. I did not know. And im one point im like so she’s the one who plays Maya? It was so funny. It was cool. And then he brought Maxence

A: from my point of view, flavie was so shy and locked off. And I knew who she was and I was honoured and thrill. She was so small and closed off. But honestly NOT AT ALL. i quickly understood the next day that flavie is a bomb! You understand ?

F: at first maybe you were like “I just want to protect this little thing.”

I: so what was the first scene that you guys filmed together?

Ayumi makes it clear that it’s a scene that hasn’t been released yet. And Flavie can’t remember what it is.

A: flav, you are putting our whole relationship in question!

F: I just dont know!

A: ok but the second scene we did together was the scene of Saturday morning after the first urban party

F: OHHH you right! I remember now!

I: but that’s a great scene that fans loved because of the chemistry and people loved it. How did you create that complexity? Was it the writing or did you try to meet up on your own?

F: honestly, not that much because the problem is that I live in Vance. We really tried to see each other but trains made it difficult to see each other just us two, but it still worked somehow. We worked a lot with David but not so much just us too and yet we still manage to create something really strong and powerful.

A: in between scenes we also just talked all the freaking time. And by the time David said action, it was like we just finishing our conversation in the scene.

F: every morning we were always happy to see each other and we didn’t see each other that much but that honestly wasn’t a problem at all.

I: in the YouTube comments, everyone is slightly making fun of flavie for living so “far”

A: [also starts making fun of flavie] oh yea yea basically 45 minutes.

F: BY TRAIN! By car its like 2 hours and a half, so sorry.

A: you don’t even have a driver license! So you have to take the train!

F: alright I almost have my drivers license! Soon supposedly! And don’t worry ill come pick you up in my ride!

Ayumi makes more fun of Flavie for her hours of driving and her basically driving illegally (in France you can only drive at 18 and flav is 17)

I: what was the most difficult scene to film for you?

F: well im not gonna answer. I can’t answer

A: honestly I dont have any. Oh wait yes yes yes! I just remembered. Flav you do know! It’s the scene where I tell you that ive missed you.

F: oh right! You were sick right!

A: yea I had shrimp for lunch. Bad shrimp and in the scene im in process of dying. I have never been in more pain and discomfort.

F: and I was like why is she angry at me? What did I do?

A: and flav is like are you okay and thank god you were there flav because she was telling me breathe and take it slow. It was the difficult

F: for me the most difficult that we’ve seen is was hard because of weather conditions. It was so cold on the whole set but it was the one where we were around the fire and jo sees eliott for the first time, the first urbex party. We were getting fire embers in our eyes so we were all crying and complaining. It was awful. Louise was actually crying so so hard.

A: it was so funny. Louise was actually crying and was joking at the same time whilst crying. We were laughing so hard.

The say that night was still a lot of fun and then they all went to Quentin’s apartment [actor who plays sekou] and the ambiance on set is better than on screen. It was a lot of fun

A: la mif always has a great time, messing around

F: David would say “FOCUS FOCUS”

I: it was mid November, and we all know skam france shooting is very intense and fast. So David was like a police officers. We cant wait to see the behind the scenes. David in the comments says thank you to all the extras who were there until 4am

F:  oh yea honestly. Thank you– just thank you

A: oh yea flav thanks for that. Its great.

I: we know there’s a clip today with a reunion. And fans are expecting a kiss. Are we getting that moment today?

(Silence)

A: listen if there is a kiss, it will happen at a perfect moment

I: there is a lot of pressure on this kiss becuase there are so many people from the LGBTQ+ community who are saying that this kind of relationship is rarely seen on screen. Do you feel the need to do good?

F: its so well written and directed that we do want to do really well. Ok your turn

A: the want to do good, of crows but its already something we want to do. We are not forcing ourselves, because its already there.

They say that its sad for the time being that they have to continue to fight for rights in the LGBTQ community and Ayumi says that with SKAM its all going to change. They always get lovely messages thanking them.

They talk about the ship name and how fans have decided that is going to be Mayla. Ayumi is happy that its Mayla. Flav wanted Loyla. Ayumi says it was their first “fight” and they weren’t agreeing. Even la mif voted on the ship. It was heavily debated.

I: Are we right to have so much faith in Mayla or are you going to break our hearts?

F: for that you’ll have to keep watching

A: well said flav

F: l’amour gange toujours

I: what is next for you two?

F: not much. Im seeing friends at a distant. Stay safe. I was starting to miss my social life. Not going out too much because I really dont want to get “this vicious/awful thing” so yea “la vida loca”

F: project wise everything is on pause but im on a good path. Crossing my fingers. If it happens it happens. Its destiny

A: its destiny. Same thing. There was a movie that stopped before quarantine and won’t start again but there are castings. Until filming starts again, we are all waiting.

I: it’s funny, everything something is said, it gets translated in the comments in five or six languages. Have you taken something from your character and have you left them something?

A: her joy to live at everything. And give her my body to just exist

F: what I took, well nothing. I gave her 7kg more. Well actually I took from her 7kg. That’s it!

I: who forgets their lines the most?

F: ME! But you too kinda. You just talk SOOO fast you start to stutter

A: I talk too fast and then I stutter and it was so cold that that doesn’t help. So in front of flavie, she really made fun of me.

F: I didnt always forget but sometimes when its really long I forgot.

[icharchivist]

hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[planetjisungie]

lucky charms- h.rj

characters; ravenclaw! renjun x hufflepuff! reader ft. gryffindor! mark and gryffindor! jeno (sigh)

summary; with the exams coming up, you need a little help with your charms. well you dont, you just needed an excuse to talk to your long time crush, huang renjun

an; i literally changed this on the spot 🤡 plot holes here i come- (also id like to think jeno is more of a hufflepuff but idk man)

sigh okay this is a long boi

end of year exams were in just a few weeks

yay, your absolute favourite !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sarcasm

now, charms

in room 99, classroom 2E in the south tower

i did my research

you were pretty good at charms, not nearly as good as you were in the care of magical creatures and herbology though

still above averagely good

you know who else was good at charms?

huang renjun

the star ravenclaw prince boy, the pride of the house and a very beautiful boy

best boi renjun

if jeno was being quite honest he was SICK AND TIRED of hearing you two pine over eachother

jeno met you in first year, and you quickly became best friends and even ended up in the same house as eachother

despite having different friend groups (your friend group consisted of you and eunji), you stayed best friends until now aka 5th year

just go with it okay

so as he was saying before i digressed, jeno physically is pained as he watched the longing glances both you and renjun throw when the other isnt looking

but it isnt his business to meddle with your lack of relationship problems

best boi part 2

BUT! but! he will give you both a tiny! eensy! little! minuscule! nudge

that nudge being forming a plan with you

you were slightly reluctant when jenos very enthusiastic face greeted you at the table saying he had ‘a totally brilliant, spectacular, show stopping, wonderful, flawless plan’

this was jeno we were talking about

the same boy who planned the failed midnight snack run a few weeks before

and as soon as he mentioned renjun your eyes narrowed

"proceed."

the plan was for jeno to ask renjun to tutor his friend who was falling behind in charms

said friend was you

and you were ahead of the class

bUT!! you agreed because he wasnt in your class, so there was no way he could know that right?

wrong.

who was in your class?

mark lee. one of renjuns best friends.

also the boyfriend of eunji and the reason you wanted to gauge your eyeballs out everytime you turned around to talk to them

thats right eunji ditched you to sit next to her little markie. bitch.

nonetheless, you agreed because your dumb, spontaneous ass forgot that renjun even knew mark, because if someone said ‘whos mark?’ you would go ‘eunjis boyfriend’

so of course, when all the students were making their way to their class, jeno caught up with renjun seeing as they both had muggle studdies

"hey man, i have a favour to ask"

stage one of operation: stop the oblivious fuckers from pining over eachother (that name may need some revamping) was a-go

"depends what said favour is"

smart boi™️

"is it possible to tutor one of my friends in charms for the upcoming OWLs?"

oh? this piqued china pretty boys interest

"i mean, sure, i could do with some revision too. tell them to meet me at the library after school"

and so jeno walked away with a smug smirk, victorious

and when jeno told you he had agreed later in potions, you were yet you werent surprised

so of you trotted after last period, kinda nervous because youre about to be in the literal breathing proximity of renjun

like obviously youve talked to him before but this time it was just you and him

alone

no get those thoughts out of your head

n e ways u perv

renjun sat at the back table, textbooks and notebooks with his neat writing in both chinese and korean all over the pages

smart boi part 2

so seeing him not looking at you

attention whore

wow why am i so mean today

you sat down and cleared your throat, placing your blank notebooks on the table so the boy wouldnt get suspicious

you had to pray to whatever gods were listening for your cheeks not to flare up the colour of the strawberries you had for breakfast

healthy girl™️

and the gods apparently answered your prayers

because as soon as renjun looked up and into your eyes you swore you were too distracted for your blood cells to even think about moving towards your face

and renjun nearly had a heart attack (by aoa)

poor boy

jeno had NOT told him that he would be tutoring you

he was going to be choked later

"sorry im late"

renjun was nearly offended that you would even apologise to him for being late by

2 minutes and 48 seconds

"no no its okay i havent been here long"

that was a lie he had study period last and has been sat in the same goddamn chair for an hour already but your presence made his ass cheeks ache less

so he started teaching you, but ???

you seemed to fully grasp the concepts

confused boi

excuse me ma’am/sir/señor/señorita whatever you prefer to go by-

you need to brush up on your acting skills dude

appalling smh your drama teacher back from your muggle school would be completely distraught

so for the next hour renjun ‘tutored’ you

things you already knew but this was a dream-

and actually he was a funny guy

he was also muggle born, so you could both relate over things you experienced as a kid

this lead to a raging debate over dora the explorer

that bitch was shaded in said debate, fully annihilated

hola soy dora your asshole

but,, it was fun. because jeno was pureblood and grew up knowing about all his magicky stuff so he was kinda boring sometimes

no tea no shade

but you ended the session with smiles on both your faces, cheeks literally aching with how hard youd been laughing and smiling

so lads

the next day at breakfast renjun was all happy, plonking himself next to mark at the gryffindor table because

man does not give a SHIT about the looks he was getting. he is huang renjun.

"why are you so smiley this morning? and why didn’t you come to my common room last night"

the gryffindor common room was the dreamie hang out

no one dared tell THE mark lee to go somewhere else with his friends

"sorry, last night i was tutoring y/n in charms" smiley boy still

mark seagull eyebrows: activated

excuse him?? charms?? you?? the one who got an outstanding in your report card??

something smells fishy here

"renjun... y/n got an outstanding on her charms"

eunji who had magically appeared next to mark basically said what he was just thinking

confused boi part ??

"wait what?"

but later on he didnt question you about it

he silently observed you

he told himself that anyway

quite honestly if you were spending time with him he was not about to complain

he was staring at you, simply put

my leng bby (thats you, youre my leng bby)

so for the next 2 weeks every day after school you would meet up to ‘catch up’ on your charms

that being said it literally always, every time, ended up with you two talking about something unrelated

like the 5th day you had a conversation about which series of power rangers was better

"SPD, obviously"

AM I THAT OLD?? on god i hate it here

"no, y/n, we all know that dino force is better"

i agree with y/n on this one pal

on the 7th day you talked about muggle sports that you both enjoyed

"i played a lot of cricket"

"cricket? okay tory"

"i am NOT a tory"

on the last day when you should have been, you know, LEARNING

you were having a lovely old chinwag about the x factor

"simon cowell is a king"

"i agree"

legend behaviour if you ask me

wait does chinwag exist in other countries??? translation: chat

so of course the exams came up

but you were dreading them for a different reason

this meant the end of tutoring with renjun

this was super bittersweet, you wanted to spend more time with eachother

you literally could it wasn’t that deep both of you are so dumb smh aint nothing stopping you

jeno agrees with me too, mans pulling out his hair still as you had somehow not gotten together yet

it was like watching snails race, incredibly frustrating but you know that there is the finish line somwhere over the horizon

so you took your exams and both of you passed with flying colours, obviously

smart kids

and you ran right to renjun to celebrate

seeing as he had

not really helped you but you thought that he thought he helped you

oh no honey he knew that you didnt need help

but he didnt know whether to confront you about it?

rip your guilty conscience

so after a long discussion with mark, our china boy decided to ask why the heck you wanted his help when you were absolutely fully capable

unlike mark

and when you saw him approach you first in the halls your heart went

NYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

that was the sound of a fast motorbike

"hi y/n"

‘damn renjun, couldnt have thought of anything better than that?’

"uhh hi renjun"

awkward silence by stray kids

"i just wanted to know why you asked for my help"

okay where is the nearest shovel and what is the most efficient way to dig a large hole-

as if renjun sensed your panic radiating off you in waves

which he did

"not that it was an issue! i enjoyed spending time with you, it was just, you didnt really need help"

he was a pure boy

so you puffed your cheeks and decided to just come clean

somewhere, jeno felt his senses tingling

"genuinely i just wanted to spend some time with you because i really like you"

renjun froze and wanted to smack his head into a wall

bruh

you noticed his expression and panicked yet again

stop panicking man its okay i gotchu

"it was jenos idea"

blame jeno is always a fool-proof plan b

unless you get pregnant, that would not be a good idea

so i guess its not fool proof

BUT I DIGRESS

renjun face palms and groans

"youre kidding me! all this time we wasted doing boringass charms work when we couldve gone on dates"

confusion™️

but?? you felt hopeful??

"i dont think im on the same wavelength"

"i like you too dumbass"

oH so YOURE the dumbass??

yes, yes you are renjun is best boi, accept the L which is really a W bc renjun likes you back

jeno who had found his way to you, listening from around the corner sighed in happiness

"fucking finally!!"

[ladybugsfanfics]

Worth The Wait | Tom Hiddleston x Indian!reader

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Indian!reader

Style: One Shot

WC: 2.6k

Warnings: uhh, curse words, i dont thinkt there is anything in this??

Summary:  @thelowkeydetective said: “Hey, I wanted to request a soulmate au (with Hiddleston) and take your time, no hurry:if you're on separate time zones, when you sleep, you see the world in the eyes of your soulmate at present and when they look into a reflective surface/mirror the image is blurred. Hope you got which one.  I'm sorry for bugging you again but maybe you could make that one shot I requested to be Tom Hiddleston x Indian reader( that way you can get the time difference too and I'm Indian). Thank you😄” - soulmate au post also, to help the story i added another of the aus  “Because the universe is sadistic af, it only gave you the first letter of your soulmate’s name.”

A/N: this was so much fun to write and I hope i did good. I havent specified that anything about the reader so you can imagine being anything only you live in Chennai, India (it works so well since Tom’s older sister lives there). Thank you so much for the request and so sorry it took so long ^_^ italics are the dream she has btw

if you want to be added to my taglist, please send an ask ^_^  | requests are open, too.

Drying your hands after washing your face, your thumb swipes over the tattoo on your left wrist. The T stares at you, has your heart fall a little as the rope that holds it in place slowly rips―how much is left of that rope, you’re not sure. 

The tattoo appeared when you were 18. All over the world, people wake up to a new tattoo on their 18th birthday, except, most people get the whole name (the first name), and you woke up to only a stupid letter. When you turned twenty, that’s when the probability of finding your soulmate comes. If soulmates are on different time zones, you see their daily life when you sleep. 

For most, this never happens and is only something people use to test that they’ve found the right person. Most of your friends have gone on trips just to make sure the person they met is actually the person they’re meant to be with. 

You’re not one of the lucky. You’re one of the unlucky who has had dreams of their soulmate’s lives since the day you turned twenty. It has been a quiet ride so far, seeing as it’s impossible for you to find out who he is―the dude travels so much you can’t pinpoint where in the world he is from.  A lot of the time, you see manuscripts though, late night readings―Shakespeare seems to be a favorite. 

It doesn’t help that your parents want you to get married, have children and have been talking about this forever. Since you were twenty-five (about eight years), they’ve been going on about forgetting your soulmate and finding someone eligible in India, in Chennai. But you can’t find anyone you get along with, and believe it, they’ve tried hard. 

The T prompts a deep sigh, knowing if you don’t meet him, you will end up spending the rest of your life alone. Through the years you’ve seen him, you’ve noticed things, picked up on habits he has. Also, from time to time, when you believe he dreams, you’ve left notes, tried to speak with him. 

And he replied.

Steadily, you’ve been having a conversation. You still don’t know his name, or where he is from, because you’re afraid to ask certain questions. The first question was a boring yet sweet, how are you? To which he replied, fine, and you?

It became more prying after a while, but it’s only been going on for a year and it isn’t always easy knowing if he’s gotten your messages or not. Though he seems to have figured out when his will reach you. 

With a harsh scrub at the T, which does nothing but redden your skin, you let go of the hand towel. One final look in the mirror. Tired eyes look back at you. You sigh once more and get out of the bathroom. In your bedroom, you get into bed and pull the blanket completely over your head, hoping slumber takes you easily and that maybe, just maybe, you get a new message. 

People are everywhere, filing to and fro in every direction. They lug suitcases after them. Children screams at their parents. The woman who accepts the passport smiles warmly, raven-black hair tied into a ponytail that waves as she moves her head. She hands the passport back, with a tucked in boarding pass and reaches to tie a piece of paper around the handle of the suitcase. Her mouth moves, showing of a set of white teeth. 

Moving, the gaze lands on the boarding pass. It covers the passport, hiding away any information on it. But the pass says it all. From Heathrow to Chennai International Airport. The passport closes shut and is filed into a pocket as the moving stops. 

The security check is lined with people. The long line goes easily forward, stopping only a few minutes every now and then. Long, slender fingers grabs a gray box and pulls out some belongings. A belt, phone and keys land in one corner. So does a wristwatch. A black backpack gets its own box. The line through isn’t long. Green tells to go through. The security people smile and nod, and gestures to keep going. 

Big hands grab the backpack and puts away the other belongings. People everywhere, walking past in a slow tempo. The big screen that tells the gates shows the gate for the flight to Chennai. Increased tempo. 

By the gate, there are few free seats. There is one by the corner. From the backpack, slender fingers drag out a book and a notebook.  A pen sits in the spine. Opening the notebook, pages file past with previous notes. Scrambling a date in uneligible handwriting, and then, in block letters, where are you from? The gaze lies there for a full minute, and the book closes, the pen reattached to the spine. And the other book opens, a bookmark placed at the back and a hand holding it by the spine as the other scrolls to the next page. 

---

Are you allowed to freak out? Are you allowed to keep going over the words you wrote, desperately hoping he saw them? Are you allowed to have your heart beat its way out of your rib cage because you know your soulmate is coming to Chennai?

You pace back and forth in your office, feeling the eyes of your office-roommate burn on you. He raises a brow as you stop, turn to face him and cross your arms over your chest. 

“What’s going on?” he asks. 

“Uhh,” you say, “it’s complicated.” You drag a hand through your hair. Again, again, again. It grows annoying and you tie it up in a bun with the hairbands on your wrist. 

Advik pushes himself from his desk, his chair rolling closer to you. He pulls on you to sit down in your own chair, and as you slump against it, he takes one of your hands in his. “You can tell me, I won’t…” He tries for a smile instead of finishing the sentence―nothing you find very comforting. 

“It’s my soulmate.” It sounds weird saying out loud. 

Your coworker cocks a brow. “Soulmate, huh?” His face gets a playful smirk and he turns your hand in his, but there is no tattoo on that one. Nor can you see the tattoo on your left wrist as you’ve perfected how to cover up the T. 

“Yeah, soulmate.” Something tugs at your stomach. Advik moves to check your other wrist. Deep brown eyes look up at you, a frown thrown across it, mixed with something akin to fondness. 

“You don’t have one, do you?” he asks, eyes glances down at your wrist again. His thumb strokes where the T hides underneath make-up. “That’s great news.”

Lips pressed together, and knowing people have been talking about you not having a soulmate for some time now, you don’t say anything. You let him stroke over your tattoo, even though he can’t see it. 

He pulls back his sleeves and shows his wrists to you. “See, no soulmate.” The lopsided grin that accompanies makes you feel guilty, a stab of pain in your stomach and the far away feeling of impending sweat. “Isn’t that great?”

You shake your head. “That’s not…” The words feel wrong. But how else do you say it? “That’s not true. I have a soulmate.” 

Advik frowns, his expression giving away what he says next, “but you have no tattoo?” 

“Wrong,” you say and find a wet wipe in your purse. You rub it against your wrist, taking the time to get everything off. As the T is visible, you show it to him. 

“Who is this  T, then?” he asks, but he doesn’t sound convinced.

You take a deep breath. “I don’t know. I know he’s an actor, and that he likes shakespeare. Uhh, he travels a lot and reads a lot. Probably from the west, I think because he’s usually awake when I go to sleep.”

“So, he’s in another time zone.” Advik shrugs, though a small smile plays on his lips, as if he’s happy with that. “Doesn’t that open up to, maybe, trying someone else?” 

“I dreamt it tonight.” You take a deep breath. “He’s here. In Chennai. I saw his boarding pass.” 

Advik raises a brow, his smile falling. “Well, then we’ll have to see if we can find him, right?”

“You’re gonna help me?”

He nods. “Totally. I might not have a soulmate, and have hoped you haven’t had one either, but you seem to want to find him. Why not help you?”

You shake your head, unsure what to think but your heart flips at the thought. A grin spreads across you face and the anticipation of finding him has your gut churn. Maybe things will go your way? 

---

The bookstore you’re in feels like a dead end, just as every other bookstore you’ve been to. It’s not like you know he’ll even stop by one, you just know he likes to read. 

Advik smiles tightly, his eyes glancing to the door every now and then as the bell above it rings. It signals new customers, but so far, you haven’t seen anyone that could be from the west. After all, you’re looking for what you believe to be a white male, and the people coming in... aren’t that. 

“I don’t think we’re gonna find him,” you say and slide down the wall you’re leaning against. “How are we supposed to know he’ll come here?”

“Because he likes to read,” says Advik, “and this is the biggest bookstore in Chennai.”

You roll your eyes. “What has that got to do with it? He probably won’t come here, he’ll go to one of the small ones that are way cozier.”

“Y/N, he speaks English, how many bookstores here sells English books?” 

“Uhh, all of them?”

Advik purses his lips, but glances at the door again. To your lovely surprise, someone white does come in. A woman with long blonde hair and a pretty face. Behind her, a white man―probably not who you’re looking for though―with more ginger hair. It curls at the ends, slicked back behind his ears and a little messy, but it goes great with the beard he’s sporting. 

“Can it be him?” Advik arches a brow and looks at you. 

You shake your head. “Probably not, he’s way too hot to be my soulmate.” 

Advik chuckles. “Nah, he’s definitely within your league. Maybe check somehow?” 

Answering that with a resounding ‘no’ doesn’t work because Advik grabs your wrist and drags you with him to a shelf near the two white people. You’re certain they’re a couple, as it seems unlikely to think anything else. Though they’re not as handsy at the couples you’ve seen on TV in most American shows. 

You act as if you’re browsing―which you end up doing―and glance at the male every now and then. The book you pull out has an interesting title, but other than that you don’t really read what it’s about. 

“Tom,” the woman says, voice low but not low enough for you not to hear it. “Do you really think this is the place?” Her accent is British, and how the male’s name starts with a T has you glance down at your wrist. 

Advik wiggles his brows your way, nodding a little in the direction of the male. It works, he mouths. You roll your eyes, but still glance the stranger’s way. If it is him, you have to admit that’s not something you’re opposed to. 

“What better place? A bookstore is the perfect―”

Whatever the end of the sentence is, you don’t get it as he speaks too low. His accent is British, which works well with the soothing deep tone of his voice, which again does have an effect on the feelings flowing through your veins.

You swallow the lump in your throat. The side-eyeing of him seems to go unnoticed, however, still scared of getting caught, you turn your caze back to Advik. 

But your coworker isn’t where he was moments before. No, he’s… your gaze lands on him a meter away. The man is stumbling onto the male―Tom―with a book. Wide-eyed you go to him and decide to help. Which doesn’t work and instead you eye a clumsy mess together with the woman Tom’s with. 

“Boys, huh?” she asks, rolling her eyes. 

You nod. “Yeah,” you say. “That was on purpose, too.” Immediately after saying the words, you want to hide. 

The woman smiles. “Oh, so a friend of yours then?”

“You can say that. Only I didn’t know he was going to do that.” You shake your head, eyes on the two men who both laugh awkwardly at each other. 

“No, why did he do it?”

“He believes the guy is my soulmate.” You’re surprised at how casual it comes out. 

Something lights up in the woman’s face. “Well, let’s find out then? I’m Sarah, by the way. His sister.” She holds out a hand, and you take it. 

“Y/N,” you reply. “But I don’t understand how we’re supposed to find out.”

Sarah shrugs and takes your left hand in hers. She twists it to see your wrist. The T isn’t covered up today, and you’re almost relieved it isn’t. “That’s something, right? You know, he only has the initial, too. Maybe he is your soulmate?”

You nod. The prospect of being so close to figuring it out is overwhelming. It tugs at your gut, in a good and bad way. What if it turns out to be nothing like you want? Or to be completely awful? Or what if it’s everything you want? What if it actually brightens your days? And it will stop the nagging from your parents... 

“Okay, how do we check?” you ask. 

Sarah smiles. “You have to talk, and touch. The touch is important.” 

“Have you met your soulmate?” you ask. 

“Yeah,” she says and her smile brightens, “it’s worth everything.”

You mirror her smile and let out a deep breath. “Then let’s try this.”

Sarah waves her brother over to you, who seems deep in conversation with Advik. The two men walk over, and the glance over Tom gives you stirs something in your stomach. You press your lips together, and swallow. Only your throat stays dry. 

God, is this really how I’m supposed to feel?

Sarah smiles. “Tom, this is Y/N.”

You extend a hand for him to shake, and he takes it in a firm grip that shoots electricity up your arm. She was right about the touch. But she hadn’t warned you about those ocean eyes that rip your soul out and tug at your heart. 

“Hi,” you say, voice soft. You bite down on your bottom lip, afraid you’re gonna let something slip. And remembering you’re still holding his hand, you let go. The absence feels wrong, and that alone seems like all the answers you need. 

He smiles at you. “Hi.” 

“It’s official,” says Advik, “you are most definitely soulmates.”

Sarah nods in agreement. 

You just shake your head with an embarrassed smile. “I guess? Wanna go on a date?” where did this confidence come from?

“I would love to.” Your heart flips, does that one-two beat. 

So long, the nagging and rumours had scared you. Now that you’ve met your soulmate, you know it was worth the wait.

permanent: @devilbat @adefectivedetective @gamillian

tom:  @inlovewith3 @bookgirlunicorn @mindlesschicca @justawriterinprogress @wolfsmom1 @loser-alert

bold in the taglist are people tumblr wont let me mention

[funeralbelle]

gillian jacobs, joel mchale, and any other community cast of interest + 👥

SEND ME AN FC + 👥 TO SEE A CHARACTER I’D etc etc

gillian jacobs

I rly love the idea of her in a Pagliacci role!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like her vibes during her depressive episodes in Love really radiate that suicidal clown energy and I would def play her as a small time comedian who tells herself that she’s constantly chasing near-death situations in search for material and not in search for oblivion.

also she’s been in so many raunchy movies that i feel like she could definitely play a nymphomaniac. and this is maybe an unrelated tangent but,,,  you see a lot of promiscuous female characters in the rpc, but i’ve never seen one who’s actually interested in sex..? usually the trend is female characters who feel unloved and use sex as a fill-in or gateway to a sense of intimacy. and this isn’t any shade at, like, nina’s character zelda or yam’s character nikki (especially because i use the same trope with my character genie), but when you combine all of the muses with this characterization together, i feel like we as a community accidentally enforce the idea that women don’t get titillated and just use romance as a bargaining chip for love?? 🤪 

idk maybe it’s just my experience but i always see the love-starved harlot more than any legit horny girls so lets get more of those and lets use gillian jacobs for the roles because thinking about it now i’m pretty sure that even her character on Love has that same characterization. damn

joel mchale

I’m determined!!!!!! to use him for something!!!!! 

my first priority is gwen’s rp americana; originally i thought he would be good for The Professor bt i haven’t had any rly novel ideas to bring to the table for that skeleton yet and i wanna avoid using him in the same career as his Community character. plus i think i’d want to play him in a skeleton that compliments him being like 6′5″ and jacked. hes also rly.. aryan looking… so he could make a perfect Detective if i can get over my hang-ups and play a cop in remotely good faith. but failing that i might end up applying for The Suspect w/ him.

on the flipside, I feel like he’d be rly good for a p.i. character that’s been floating around my head for a long time but whom I haven’t rly had the chance to develop bc I’ve pretty much just been in college rps for the last half a decade. woulda considered this muse for MW if i wasn’t already planning to bring in tom/sal.

that character is a Hunter S Thompson type— tragically optimistic and repeatedly outraged every time mankind disappoints him; constantly trying to believe in the best of people in an industry where he’s dealing with the most depraved individuals. tried to unionize his private investigation firm (love the futility of trying to organize behind the back of the boss of a band of snoops) and wound up getting underhandedly fired so he had to go independent. hardened more in demeanor than heart; numbs the hell of being repeatedly let down with a rock & roll lifestyle that he should’ve outgrown in his thirties. still clinging onto a Gen X obsession with authenticity that obnoxiously makes him roll his eyes at any cashier who smiles and tells him to have a great day. comes across as crass and tactless, desensitized to vulgarity and clumsy when it comes to tenderness despite perpetually yearning for it. compulsively anti-authority to the point of impairing his judgment at times; easily manipulated by anyone who portrays themselves as an underdog. probably comes from a family without a nurturing female presence; could definitely picture him with a businessman younger sibling whom he resents because they’ve “sold out” (read: they’re flourishing financially) while he’s 48 years old and has no sheets on his bed because it’s been a week and he still hasn’t taken them out of the dryer and he keeps passing out on the couch anyway so he’s not really thinking about it.

The biggest struggle in using McHale for this character is that he’s a little too fratty and it’s hard to picture him as this chainsmoking gonzo. but i try to play fcs against type and i feel like he always gets cast as characters who are wealthy/charming/two-faced/detached/nihilistic, and this is definitely as far away from that as i can get. maybe ill do a deep dive into his filmography and find something where he wasnt playing a white collar hunk or douchebag. idk…,,we’ll see. maybe ill use a completely different fc for that character and use mchale for one of the americana skeletons instead?? idk i havent gotten that far yet but i cant stop making gifs of him i’m having so much fun i want to use him so bad idk

one last option is like… ever since those reddit stories got popular, ive always wanted to play a search-and-rescue officer for a national park? and i feel like he almost has forest ranger vibes in the later seasons of community when he has the beard. i dont know where i would play this character but to be fair i have literally no clue where i would play a private investigator either so it’s. yeah

donald glover

i played him back when i used to write in rly wild and campy/comedic supernatural/genre plots!! the original conceit of that character was a law school dropout who swindled an eldritch demon out of his almighty powers, but had such low motivation in life and such a one-track mind that he never thought to use it for any kind of world domination, and instead tried to use it to win back and impress her by giving himself a promotion to manager of the bowling alley he worked at, or make her life without him seem subconsciously bleaker by doing innocuous bullshit like making her breakfast cereal have less marshmallows in it than usual. i don’t know if i would revisit him, but if i did it might be fun to have him have a jackass genie type of relationship with another character in a 1x1, or drop the supernatural aspect entirely and reimagine him as a burnout who suddenly inherited a huge amount of money, only for it to gradually be revealed that it came from some shady means, or something. i don’t know. fucking love his tag on my blog though

alison brie

I think one of the reasons I resent Annie Edison so much is because you can tell Dan Harmon was too obsessed with her to let her be the butt of any jokes or make her look bad in any way, and so even though Alison Brie is an extremely charming and funny actress, she never got to portray any really human or interesting flaws, because all of Annie’s negative traits were just the kind of corny weaknesses you list in a job interview (she’s just too driven!!! a perfectionist to a fault!!~~) and I think that by season 3 she became the thing every viewer was worried Britta would be in the pilot (boring moral compass of a carrot dangling in front of the male protagonist to motivate his character growth). And it just feels like a waste of an actress who could easily find humor in an uglier character and make them sympathetic. So I genuinely want to do something like that with her, like make her a former activist who completely sold out her morals for a gig as a commentator on a corporate news outlet or working on softening PR for some Raytheon or Lockheed Martin type of company. I also love villains with her mousy-petite-big-blue-eyed disney-faced look who are more perniciously manipulative and unsuspecting, so I’d love to do that. 

on an unrelated note: she looks sm like natalia dyer and especially after she got really skinny circa 2016, she would be a rly good timeskip cast for the older, strung-out version of my character max? 

wld definitely gif brie in Sleeping With Other People & How to Be Single & Community s5 + s6 if sage and i ever went through with that timekip plot or if i ever found a place to play a conniving daffodil.

[wickymicky]

you know, i used to say that Egoist or Hi High were my number one favorite kpop songs (it went back and forth, i think i was most vocal about Egoist being my number one but there were times when i felt like it was Hi High), but like... idk... like aside from So What, i feel like i’ve barely listened to Loona at all so far this year, and honestly it’s been like six or seven months, maybe eight or nine, since i regularly listened to Loona every day (again, aside from So What).... i’ve listened to Egoist, a song that i considered my favorite kpop song hands down for the majority of the time i’ve been into kpop, like ten times this year and that’s it... and some of those times were because i had the thought “oh jeez i havent listened to this song in a long time, i should do that... i’m betraying it...”

i wonder if i only kept saying/thinking that egoist is my favorite kpop song because i said it once and i had to stick to it... i think its pretty clear to any mutuals i have that my actual favorite kpop song is something like picky picky though, a song i actually post about all the time and listen to really frequently...

:/

so yeah, there��s no easy way to say this, but it really feels like i’m hanging on to Loona out of a sense of loyalty more than anything else :( it’s hard to put into words but listening to Loona feels kinda different these days. knowing more about how they decided things on the fly and how rushed the selection of the final members was (and how little the members were told) kinda... like... doesn’t it change how you listen to a song like New or Egoist? it certainly gives a lot more context to Yves being really shy in those first loonatvs she was in... and Olivia’s experience with her debut was such a whirlwind, like, she was just kind of thrust into the group... i have soooo much respect for all the members for being able to handle it, and i think it’s a fuckin miracle that it worked and they ended up with twelve incredible members, all of whom are so talented and any group would be lucky to have them, but even still just... some of the fun is lost a little bit for me. and I can’t listen to Everyday I Love You, one of my favorite Loona songs, without thinking of how much Vivi’s potential has been wasted. it turned a song that i have fun while listening to into one that makes me frustrated or sad. 

for whatever reason, i feel less of that when listening to ot12 stuff, even if some members get shit for lines, tho tbh, and this is a really hot take and i’m sorry... but i’m really mostly just into their three title tracks (and Favorite i guess), i rarely listen to their bsides.. they don’t hit me the same way, i guess. anyway though it’s the predebut stuff that makes me frustrated or sad. i cant help but empathize and think of what they must be feeling in the predebut era... happiness and excitement sure, but also nervousness, anxiety, stress, etc... the one by one debut concept was novel and it ended up working out in a sense, but at what cost? it was able to work out because the yyxy members were brought in at the last minute, Hyeju literally with only like 24 hours before they were gonna reveal the next member, and with all the changes we know about like Vivi probably being intended to be in OEC and things like that, and trainees that BBC had who for whatever reason ended up being rejected also probably at the last minute in favor of the yyxy members who were brought on... sigh... idk

it feels like it’s getting harder and harder to be a fan of this group, too. as they get more popular and more recognition, the fandom is growing, and with that comes a lot more drama, none of which i particularly care about (aside from the stuff relating to the group itself, as i’ve been talking about). they got their first win, and i was happy at the time, but... i’m worried about their future. it’s not that i wish they didnt get their first win, it’s just... i hope this doesnt make BBC feel validated in overworking and over-controlling them, you know? i want to believe that a lot has changed for the better since after Butterfly, especially when Jaden Jeong left, but we just have no way of knowing that for sure. there’s evidence for both sides, so at the end of the day, all we can do is speculate, and that doesnt really help anything. 

it sucks to admit this to myself but i feel like i’m losing interest in this group because of all this. whenever i’ve watched loona content from the So What era, sometimes they do seem happy, but even then there’s this feeling that they’re stressed and tired. are they happy? again, we can only speculate, so it’s best not to, but i cant stop my idiot brain from assuming the worst and picking up on signals that might not even actually be there, it’s just confirmation bias. maybe i only feel like theyre not at 100% because i’m already worried theyre not at 100%, you know? hmmm. also, i just... don’t think i feel the same connection with this group that i used to. maybe i never really did, tbh. they were my first group, my introduction to kpop, and i genuinely love some of their stuff still, but i feel like as i’ve gotten sooooo much more understanding of this whole kpop industry and i can put loona’s discography in context with aaaaaallllllll the other kpop songs i’ve listened to.... i feel like a lot of their stuff hasn’t aged as well as i would want, for me. you know how sometimes you wonder how much of what you like is really stuff you like, and how much is only because other people like it so you subconsciously feel you have to too? well, at first i would have said i genuinely love all of it and i could explain why, but idk i think i was convincing myself of some of it... as ive found more stuff that i genuinely love, it becomes clearer what are my things and what arent, you know? when i only knew 30 kpop songs and had 5 super-favorites, it was easier to overestimate some things, but now that i know hundreds and have a really deep pool of super-favorites, some of that early stuff i found is overshadowed, i guess. maybe egoist isnt as special to me anymore cause like.. at the time, i hadnt heard many kpop songs like it, but now... i have. and some of them do what it does just as well................. if not better............... sigh, i feel like im punching my past self in the gut

if this hurts you to read cause you’re a huge orbit, trust me, i know what you mean, it hurts to admit this. it kinda sucks to realize that you’re slowly losing interest in something you once loved and was incredibly important to you. 

oh and by the way, when i talk about losing interest, i dont mean that i dont care about loona anymore lmao, i just mean theyre going from my number 1 or 2 or 3 spot down to like my number 5 or 6 or 7 spot haha, alongside other groups that i like a lot but don’t follow the same way i follow my ults. so like even if i continue feeling this way about them, theyre still one of my favorite groups lol. like i guess i would kinda place them around where i would place twice or another group like that in my top 10? anyway... i just had to get this all off my chest. it started out being a post just about egoist and kinda hi high too, but then i realized i had a lot more to say haha, sorry. hopefully this doesnt upset anyone, idk, i hope you understand where im coming from :(