#i guess?? i mean its been proven wrong now

[kozzax]

Back during the time between us knowing The Book existed and us knowing it was the Revival Book, I spent. Way too many hours thinking about it? And about what it could be, what it could mean. Something so powerful and dangerous and something that gave Schlatt so much power throughout his reign-- what could it possibly be?

I had two big ideas that I proposed to my friends at the time. One of them was what we got: the written directions for resurrection. I... was never as attached to this idea as I was to my other thought. Resurrection was a big topic on the server at the time and it seemed like other people were researching it too, as my qpp pointed out, but even if that weren't true-- my other idea was always more compelling to me.

Because my other idea? Was that it was the script.

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 4 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

warning(s): homophobia becomes a central theme. mention of a close dead relative. internalized misogyny.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 5

You were sitting on the grass under the bleachers when Janis 'Imi'ike came up to you.

"I'm not selling right now." You said, suspecting she was here to see about buying alcohol or something. You had a contact and made a small bit in commissions around the school selling stuff.

"I'm- what? What're you selling?" Oh, well, guess not then.

"Nothing." You didn't want to incriminate yourself. It was bad enough you were smoking a cigarette right this moment. You took another drag. Usually, you didn't smoke during school but today was turning out to be a shittier day than usual.

"I'm not a nark, I could-" She seemed to shake herself. "Anyway. Why did you come to school with Regina today?"

"You saw that?" You inquired, alarmed but making an attempt to hide it.

"Yes. Now, why?"

"We live on the same street. Her car was having issues." You shrugged, trying to play it off.

"How'd you know her car was having issues?" She did not seem inclined to just let it go. It was beginning to annoy you.

"Because I fix it from time to time. Like I said, we live on the same street. We're not friends or anything." While you didn't like lying, especially not when you yourself were bitter about it, protecting Regina's rep was more important.

"I think that's a lie. We went to the same middle school for a while. You were close back then." She accused, crouching to be at level with you. You were officially annoyed now.

"You used to be close too." You took another drag and, noticing your cig was on its last leg, stamped it on the ground. "And how'd that turn out?"

Janis gritted her teeth. "Not well."

"Exactly." You gave her a tight, snarky smile and stood up. "Bye."

"Wait a minute!" She jogged after you as you made for the school building. "I'm not done!"

"I think you are." You called back, hastening your step. "There's nothing for us to talk about, Janis."

"Dude! You're being a huge dick right now." Janis caught up to you, gesturing as if she were offended. "Why are you so touchy?"

"I'm not touchy, I'm pissed that a stranger is getting all up in my business." You informed her curtly. "Lay off."

She held her hands up in surrender, an infuriating smirk on her face. "What business do you have with Regina?"

You halted and dropped your backpack on the ground. "What is your problem?" You advanced on her, not exactly squaring up but still getting a little too close for comfort.

"Woah, protective, aren't you?" She wasn't intimidated in the least. That only angered you more. "Has she ditched Cady already and found a new pet?"

"If I were you, I'd watch my mouth." You said as menacingly as you could.

"We could help each other out, y'know." She said, playing innocent.

"Why would I help you with anything?"

"Because she hurt both of us." You had to agree with that, however reluctantly. "I want revenge. She needs to go down." Now, that you did not agree with.

"What do you mean?" If they were planning a coup or something, you needed to get the details. You wouldn't be putting up with that shit.

"Cady's gotten an in with the Plastics." You'd never liked that stupid nickname Janis insisted on using. "She's still on the fence about them, but it's only a matter of time before I'm proven right."

"You've infiltrated the popular girl group like 007, great, because Regina wronged you somehow in middle school? Grow up." You rolled your eyes and picked up your backpack.

"She outed me, you douche!" She exclaimed before probably even thinking about it. Realizing what she'd said, she glanced around warily. Nobody was nearby since you were away from the courtyard.

Okay. Well. That made this a lot more complicated. You pinched the bridge of your nose. This was the exact reason you hung around skaters and stoner-wannabes. At least their drama was about graffiti and who had the good kush, not about whatever the fuck this was. You weren't aware you were living in a teen drama.

"Okay." You breathed in deeply. You did not want to be involved, no matter how justified Janis could've been. However, you needed information if you wanted to get in the way. "What've you got?"

A mean grin nearly split her face. Then, in just a second, it melted away. "You won't tell anybody, right? About, uh, that earlier-"

"I sell drugs behind the school, dude." You put it flatly. "You have more flak on me."

"True." She conceded. "So..."

Their plans weren't very well constructed, to be fair. Janis wanted to prove to Cady that Regina was a bitch, her words, and that was sort of just a waiting game. In the meantime, they were collecting information. So far they'd found out about the Burn Book, supposedly a scrapbook that Regina and her friends had filled with mean things about everybody at Northshore. Staff and teachers included. Apparently, Cady hadn't had much time to peruse it, so neither Janis nor you were in it for all she knew.

The concept made you nervous. You could very well be in that book and Cady just hadn't seen it. If everybody was in it, including nobodies like Mary Stigson and Amber D'Alessio, the chance was incredibly high.

You didn't even know what she could've written about you. Over the years you'd shared incredibly vulnerable bits of information with her. She'd shared with you too, but you weren't in any position to weaponize her secrets. You'd been through embarrassing moments that just the two of you knew of, had seen each other cry and rage and experience all sorts of overwhelming emotions, had made it through mortifying tweenhood phases together.

Regina could've written your whole life story, the nastiest highlights at least, without breaking a sweat.

You were like a zombie for the rest of the day. Barely paying attention in class, twirling a pencil in your fingers listlessly as whatever teacher went on and on. You looked up when a sharp, female voice called your name. You apologized to Ms Norbury and pretended to start working.

Calculus class, huh? You looked around, trying to be inconspicuous. You met eyes with Cady Heron. She quickly turned back to her work, writing numbers furiously. So Janis had told her about their new accomplice. Of course, you had every intention to tattle first thing once you talked to Regina again.

You knew she wouldn't want to be seen leaving with you, so you shot her a text that you'd be behind the bleachers waiting. You were her ride, after all. It would've been rude to leave her.

Relaxing somewhere quiet and alone wasn't too bad. You lifted your headphones over your ears and put on a Nirvana CD. Just this morning Regina had called you 'a hobo with a liking for grunge', or something along those lines. You did so love proving her right.

You lit a cigarette in honour of Kurt and closed your eyes. Something about this day, the utterly exhausting events, made you desperate to feel some release. Ever since dropping Regina off, you'd been a fucking mess. Janis having seen the whole thing and then coming to conspire against Queen Bee hadn't helped. You wished things could be spelt out for you.

Did Regina like you? Yes or no. You knew it wasn't that simple, that things weren't simple for her like they were for you. You liked her and so it was easy to let her walk all over you. You liked her so, of course, you sided with her even when Janis and you had a camaraderie. You liked her and so you chose not to think about the horrible thing she'd done to Janis.

Was it only a matter of time before she'd use that secret against you, too? Did it hang above your head even now?

"Hey, loser, stub the cig and let's get outta here. I'm sick of this joint."

"Who taught you to talk like that?" You opened your eyes and looked up at Regina. "Certainly not your father."

"What daddy doesn't know won't hurt him." She offered her hand to pull you up. "C'mon. I have a nail appointment to get to."

You hauled yourself up with her help. Over-balancing a little bit you tipped into her space, and for a moment there you breathed the same air. You took a hasty step back and tuned back into the conversation.

"And- and how're you gonna get there?" You already knew.

"We don't have enough time to go to mine first, so..." She smiled sweetly at you, getting that calculating look in her eye as she grabbed your arm and pulled it close to her chest. Looking up at you through her lashes, long nails stroking down your forearm, a smile so alluring it was evil on her face, she knew she had you. You couldn't say no.

Gulping, you inclined your head. "I'll take you."

"Thanks, babe." And with that, she pressed her purse into your arms to carry and skipped ahead.

Fuck. Fuck. You closed your eyes and fought off a groan. You'd almost forgotten the crush you'd nursed for her back then. It hadn't ever left, you knew that much, but it hadn't smacked you in the face quite like this before. You were familiar with moments that made your heart beat fast, scenarios that played on a loop in your head, and dreams you could never really make sense of. Now, though, hearing her call you babe and the physical reaction it evoked, there was no plausible explanation other than the obvious fact: You had a crush on Regina George.

You knew—knew—that it was hopeless. There was no world in which you and Regina could be a thing. Or maybe there was, but that was a pipe dream you'd do no good in entertaining. Your dad didn't care about who you dated, but you were sure he would be none too pleased. Regina's dad was a whole other case. He was way stricter than your dad, though just as distant.

You'd done this before. It would be fine. Admittedly, back when you'd been actively crushing on Regina you had been twelve and under. Back then you'd still tolerated skirts and girly hairstyles. Back then it'd been socially acceptable to cling to your friend like a koala, kiss her cheeks and hold her hand. If you tried that shit now, especially looking like you did, it would not slide.

(You'd been called slurs around the halls before. While you didn't generate much rumours or hubbub, you knew that you existed in people's peripherals in a certain way. They'd snidely ask if you liked the Ellen Show. Make vile hand gestures at you when you passed by. Garry Fort, resident church boy and social outcast, had even offered to pray for you. You had refused.)

"Jorts! Get a move on!" Regina shouted, a good distance away.

"Yeah yeah," You muttered, but picked up the pace.

"What took you so long?" She asked as she settled into the front seat.

"Lost in thought, I guess." Waxing melancholy about how we could never be together, sweetums. You opted not to say that. "So, where's this appointment?"

"Just drive to town, I'll give instructions."

"Sure thing." You bit your lip and tapped your fingers on the steering wheel. You hadn't had your licence for long but you'd been driving for much longer than that. You were a good driver. Back when you'd been young enough for your dad to feel obligated to spend time with you, he'd taken you to some backroads and taught you. Then, when that stopped, you'd done it illegally. Hey, girls gotta keep busy somehow.

"What's on your mind?" Regina asked, breaking the silence that'd turned uncomfortable.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing." You swallowed. "How was your day?"

"How was my day, seriously?" She turned her body to face you, arms crossed and a displeased look on her face. "What is it?"

You tried to think of something to say. You didn't want to ruin her whole day by revealing she had a spy, of all things. You'd planned on waiting a little bit before telling her. You would've maybe taken her for a ride and then gently broken the news.

So, that was a bust.

"Cady Heron is spying on you. She's retelling everything you're doing together with Gretchen and Karen to Janis and her friend Damien Leigh." You blurted it all out. "I was smoking in my usual spot and she just came up to me. And, uh, recruited me. Apparently, she saw you leave my car this morning."

"What?" Regina screeched, face slack with shock as well as strained with fear, panic, and all sorts of jumbled emotions. "Did anybody else see?"

"I don't know!" Your shoulders lifted all the way up to your ears in a panicked shrug. Her emotions were rubbing off on you and you did not like it. "Did people act weird around you today?"

"No," She paused to think. "No, everything was fine. Karen liked my top."

"You mean my top?" You corrected.

"Whatever." Regina looked out of the window contemplatively. "Are you plotting against me?"

You rolled your eyes, and took your sights off the road for a second to shoot her a look. "If I was, would I be telling you?"

"I dunno, I vividly remember you being sorta stupid."

"Wow, thanks, Reg, that's high praise coming from you. Only sorta."

"Shut up. You're so annoying." She unfolded her arms and leaned back in the seat. "Cady Heron. A spy."

"Janis told me, and I quote: "She needs to go down." Which was pretty dramatic in my opinion." Regina didn't say anything. "I mean, we're in high school."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Regina inspected her nails. Pretty acrylics, sharp and lethal, decorated with gems and swirls. A little grown out, sure, but still in perfect condition.

"I just mean that..." You thought about what you wanted to say. "Y'know, on average women in America die, like, between seventy and eighty years old. We're less than a quarter of that right now. Five years from now, I bet the problems we have now will seem stupid and insignificant. And then five years, or ten, from that, the issues then will look the same way."

"Morbid." She turned to look at you. You couldn't tell what her expression was like, in the middle of changing lanes to pass a car going way under the limit. "Are you always this philosophical?"

"I could be. If you wanted me to be." You wondered if that edged a little too close to flirty.

"No. It's insufferable." You didn't know how to respond to that. "I don't fucking care about the grand scheme of things. My problems aren't stupid or insignificant now, so it's no fucking use thinking, oh, it'll all be fine with time! Well, it won't be, if I don't do something right now." She ranted, waving her hands as she did. "And I will argue that women die much earlier than that."

"It's a statistic, Reg-"

"No, women die at menopause at the latest. They get sad, saggy and undesirable and they die." She said with such conviction that it shook you. "When you stop being beautiful, it's all over."

"Regina, that's..." Wrong. Incorrect. A horrible way to think. "I don't think that's true."

"Women like my mom have nothing to offer. When dad stopped wanting her and started looking elsewhere, when she stopped being asked out at the grocery store and they started asking me, when Kylie poked at her flab and asked what her stretch marks were, she died."

Listening to her talk like that, about her mom nonetheless, was heartbreaking. Still, you couldn't help getting angry. "Your mom is alive and well, Reg. Your dad cheating isn't her fault, it's him being an awful human being. Being asked out at the grocery store isn't like receiving a fucking Nobel prize. Flab and stretch marks are what you did to her body. What Kylie did to her body." You bit your lip when it started wobbling. You bit down harshly to stop it.

You continued even when your voice crackled. "My mom's always gonna be young and beautiful. She's gonna always gonna have smooth, wrinkle-free skin. I won't get to ask about her flab or stretch marks. Not ever." Regina was quiet. You could feel her eyes on you. "You don't get to complain about growing old. Mrs George's been like a mom to me, you know that, so don't fucking insult her in front of me. You can get all the botox and surgeries you want, but I'm not gonna sit here and listen to that shit."

"Sorry." She said, quietly. She'd never been good at apologies.

"It's fine." You wiped at your eyes. "I'm sorry for freaking out."

"No, it's... That was stupid." She mostly muttered, now sunken into the seat.

You shouldn't have raved at her like that. Unpacking all that she said would've been much easier with a clear head. Now you were both stuck in this tension. Tears drying on your cheeks and snot in your nose, you wished things would be easier. You wished Regina had never been taught to think like she did, that she'd see herself like you saw her.

"I think you'll still be pretty when you're forty." You put it out there, going for casual.

"You don't have to lie." She huffed, assuredly rolling her eyes.

"I'm not lying. I don't think a few wrinkles are enough to ruin your face."

"I'm not gonna get wrinkles. By the time I'm old enough to get them, there's gonna be technology to prevent signs of ageing entirely."

You laughed at that. "Are you gonna pioneer that?"

"You think I'd be smart enough?"

"I think you're very intelligent, Regina."

"Hm." You could tell she was pleased, though she was looking away. "Take left here."

"Yes, ma'am."

Notes: I'm writing these abnormally fast. Usually, I'm a total sloth with these things. I guess the instant gratification of notes really is addicting. If I suddenly drop off, I promise I didn't die I just ran out of steam.

I have no idea how long this series will be. I have a general outline and character arcs going in my head, but I'm purposefully not drafting anything. I've noticed that when I plan too much I just feel like I've already written the story and don't wanna put any of the work in. So, with this method, though it has its flaws, I won't get bored of my own ideas!

Also, just to sort of put it out there in writing, they're meant to be flawed characters. OC might be self-aware to a point, but she too has her shortcomings. While Regina's more obviously flawed, neither of them are saints. They're teenagers with shitty home lives, they're gonna be fucked up. That also includes Janis and Cady. They're all dumb teenagers with unresolved issues.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism, @9unknown0, @sage-rose2000, @massive-honkas, @nattys-swiftie, @likefirenrain, @luz-enjoyer

[crowsofdarkness]

Solace-One Shot

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: roughly 3K

Warnings: language with a smidge of angst.

Summary: When the past comes knocking, will reader give up her perfect, quiet life to be with the one man she vowed never to speak with again?

*originally posted on my old blog*

The sound of rain slapping against large, glass windows, eased my body and consciousness deeper into sleep. My soft snores echoed in tangent with the rain and I could feel my body sink further into the mattress, the last day falling away around me. It hadn’t been an exciting day, just spent working in the garden and working on my art; the same thing I had done so much of the last handful of years. It may not have been exciting to some but to me, it was my own solace. 

To be honest, the world past the treeline of my back yard scared me, even after all this time. I thought I had adjusted well but every time I went out into public for whatever reason, I was proven wrong. 

I never found myself complaining, however, with everything I had gone through and seen, I ended up retreating to this small cottage in the middle of nowhere Washington, away from civilization that scared me. Washington had no meaning to me, the farther I got away from him the better. I hadn’t seen him in over six years so I knew that I might have been over reacting in how far I tried to get away but I could never be too safe in something like this. 

Even if I hadn't seen him in so long, that didn’t stop the news or rumors of him finding its way to me. I never believed it, though. I knew who he was, truly. This life I had been living, we used to talk about how it would be for the both of us. Building our home together on a large piece of land with either the mountains or a lake in the backyard, somewhere for our kids to grow up in and us to grow old in. 

But with how things ended between us, I opted in creating this future without him. 

My body turned to the other end of the bed, the rain sounding behind me however with the knocking that echoed from the front door drained out the rain. It was a quiet but familiar knock. 

Our knock. 

Three raps against the wood then one solo knock followed by two more. 

My eyes snapped open, the drowsiness from sleep evaporating as I sat up in bed, gazing to the dark hallway outside of my bedroom door. All I could hear now was the rain until the knock sounded once more, this time a bit more persistent. 

“No way,” I muttered while letting my feet guide me towards my front door. 

It couldn’t be him. There was no way he could have found me, I made sure to cover my tracks when I moved out here. 

My eyebrows raised up in confusion when I looked out of the little peep hole, seeing nothing but darkness. 

Maybe I dreamed it?

I turned to head back to bed but when the same knock blasted behind me, I swiftly opened the door only to be met with more darkness. 

“This isn’t funny!,” I yelled. “You’re fucking with the wrong person.” 

The knife I had snatched from the table next to the front door clenched tightly in my hand. 

“Y/N.” 

Out of the darkness emerged the man that had been taking over my dream tonight, only this time he was in front of me, in the flesh, looking very different from the last time I had seen him. 

Long hair slicked back, a thick beard covering his face, and his once patriotic and noticeable suit was now worn down and almost dark, matching the way his eyes looked. 

They used to be so bright, full of life and love. But now, they were almost unrecognizable. 

“St-steve?” I stammered, stumbling away from him. 

A small smile pulled at the corner of his lips. “Hey doll.” 

My head shook, still not believing that he was in front of me. “Wha-what are you-how did you find me-what happened-is that blood?” 

A million questions ran through my mind and I didn’t know which one to ask first

I pointed to a wet spot on his suit, blood seeping through from what I was guessing a wound on his thigh; the large tear in his suit also gave me the answer I was looking for. 

Steve glanced down at it before a sigh fell through his lips. “I’m okay.” 

Our eyes locked and suddenly I felt myself become filled with rage. I hadn't seen Steve in so long that this is how he showed up on my doorstep? In the middle of the night and what looks like fresh off of a fight? 

 “How in the hell did you find me?” 

His lips parted to speak but a red head came bounding up the stairs towards us. The porch light casted over her face and even if I never met her before, I knew exactly who she was. 

“That actually was me. It took me some time, you really took yourself off of the map.” 

I raised a brow at her. “For good reason. You’re with him?” 

She nodded. “Natasha Romanoff.” 

It was my turn to nod, my suspicion of who she was proved right. 

“Y/N, we need your help.” 

Steve reached for me and I snatched my hand away, eyes sliced into him. 

“You disappear on me for years, after everything we had gone through together, and have the fucking balls to show up here asking for a favor?” I seethed. 

“We told him it was a bad idea to come here but he wouldn’t listen.” 

Another figure emerged from the darkness up my steps and I groaned in annoyance. 

“How many people did you bring to my house, Rogers?” I asked. 

“I’m Sam, Sam Wilson.” He nodded an introduction. “I’m sure Steve would be the first to tell you that we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t actually need your help.” 

I took in all three of their appearances and noticed exactly how tired they were. I wasn’t sure what the three of them had gotten themselves into but did know that whatever they were running from was important enough to come here. 

With a hesitant nod, I opened the front door allowing the three bodies to quickly slip inside. Knife still clenched in my hand, I did a quick once over of my wrap around porch to make sure that no one had followed them. Once it was clear, I slipped back inside my house and locked the door behind me. 

“So you're wanted for treason because you guys didn’t sign some kind of accords to stop you from fighting? ” I asked Natasha. 

“It’s complicated, I know. But we really do appreciate you taking us in. We won't be here long, I’m sure.” 

We were sitting at my kitchen island, two cups of coffee placed in front of us, and I glanced over to my living room where Sam and Steve were quietly talking amongst themselves; most likely their next plan. 

Steve had his back to me and in the way his shoulders tensed, whatever they had been running from had kept them on the run for awhile. 

“How long have you guys been on the run?” I asked Natasha, looking back at her. 

Her shoulders dropped. “A long time.” 

“Well, feel free to stay as long as you guys need.” I gave her hand a comforting squeeze. 

The relief that washed over her face was immediately recognizable. “I don’t know what happened between you and Steve but I do know that this was the last place he wanted to hide out.” 

“Yeah, well I’m sure he was thrilled to come here,” I spoke with sarcasm.

Natasha raised a brow. “What exactly happened between the two of you?”  

Clearing my throat, I stood from the counter and motioned behind me. “There’s a guest room down the hall next to the bathroom that I’m sure Natasha will want.” 

She smiled a thanks before nodding. 

“Uh, are you two okay with the couches?” I asked more towards Sam. 

He nodded. “Better than what we’ve been sleeping on.” 

Steve refused to meet my gaze, keeping it trained hard on his boots, so I took it as a sign to retreat back to my room. 

“Help yourself to whatever you’d like. There’s extra towels in the hall closet if you guys want to take a shower.” 

Sam and Natasha said their thanks and without another look towards Steve, I slipped back into my bedroom, the door open ajar. 

Shaky hands ran through my hair as I began pacing my room, sputtering words falling from my lips. 

“Why is he here? I’ve done so well without him,” I muttered to myself. 

I could feel my heart hammer hard in my chest and it echoed loud in my ears when I thought of Steve, sitting in my living room; a sight I never thought I would see. My feet dragged over towards the desk in my room and I pulled out an old leather bound book. It was filled with my own thoughts and some pictures, the specific one I was looking for almost slipping away. 

The edges were frayed and the color was faded but the smiles in the picture were still there, bright as the day it was taking, almost a hundred years ago. 

Steve’s small arms wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me close. My hand squeezing the other man's face, the laughter from that day was still fresh in my mind. 

I traced a finger over the other man's face, a quiet sob echoing through the room. 

“I’m sorry, Bucky.” 

This picture was taken before Steve became the soldier he was now, back when everything was easier. The three of us grew up together since elementary school and Bucky and I became close as we reached high school. Everyone said we were the perfect couple and I thought so too until I thought I had lost him. 

The night Steve had come to tell me that Bucky was gone was one of the hardest nights I had gone through; the night Steve left me behind was a close second. 

I loved Bucky, still do to this day, and will always love him. 

Guilt pulled at my heart because as much as I loved Bucky, I don’t think I could ever love him more than him. 

Steve. 

With a soft sigh, I placed the book back into the drawer of my desk and slipped underneath the covers of my bed, which had gone cold. I forced my eyes closed, hoping that the past wouldn’t resurface, however no matter how hard I kept them away, they slipped back. Loud, angry voices, bouncing around my head. 

Bucky’s alive but he’s not the same as you remember. You can’t go after him” 

Screw you, Rogers! You can’t keep him from me. 

Doll, I swear it’s not a good time for you to see him. He won’t remember you.” 

Is this part of your plan? Keeping us apart because we’re sleeping together?

With a loud groan, I turned over in bed, facing the doorway, and I found myself wondering what Steve was doing right now. 

I love you, Steve. 

I love you too, Y/N. But I have to do this. It’s the only way to keep you safe. 

Throwing the blankets off of me in an instant, I tugged on a sweater and quietly slipped out of my bedroom and back door, sleep being foreign now. Thankfully I was able to go unnoticed by the voices coming from the living room. 

The cold breeze blew past me, wrapping around my bare ankles, as I sat on the back step, allowing the sounds of the rain to ease my racing mind. 

“You always found the sound of the rain comforting.”

My heart hammered against the cage in my chest as I watched Steve lean against the post, arms crossed over his chest. 

I nodded. “Do you guys need anything?” 

Steve shook his head. “Sam and Natasha are already asleep.” 

“You can't?” I asked. 

“We’ve been on the run so long that my body is used to being on guard,” he confessed. 

I started chipping away at the polish on my fingers, nerves wrecking my body. This was the first time in so long that Steve and I were alone and there was the unsure of if he had still felt the same. 

I did, there wasn’t any doubt about it. 

“Has he reached out?” Steve asked, treading lightly on the conversation. 

I nodded. “He called me a few weeks ago to check in. He’s doing really well where he’s at. The young girl is helping him get his memories back.” 

It was Steve’s turn to nod. “Shuri, she’s taking good care of him.” 

Silence fell between us and I looked up to the sky, the large moon casting a glow over the skin of my face; Steve’s as well. 

I didn’t want to admit it out loud but he looked absolutely breathtaking, especially with the long hair and beard. 

“Does he know-?” Steve trailed off. 

“About us?” I finally looked into his eyes.

When Steve nodded, I continued with a sigh. “Yeah but if I’m being honest, it’s been so long since Bucky and I were together that the love we shared isn’t the same as it used to be. We both agreed that although we love each other, we both needed to move on.”

He pulled his sweater closer to his chest, the sudden breeze causing us both to shiver. 

“What about me?” 

I was on my feet quickly as I walked back towards my house, not wanting to have this conversation with him. 

“I’m not doing this, Steve,” I informed while walking past him. 

“Doll, please,” He reached for me. 

“Don’t,” I seethed while pulling my hand away. “You lost the right to call me that when you left me behind.” ‘

“I didn’t have a choice, Y/N. It was the only way to keep you safe,” Steve defended. 

“I told you that I loved you that morning and that evening you were gone! If you never loved me all you had to do was say that.” I spat. 

Steve ran a hand over his face with a loud sigh. “I did love you, sweetheart. I did it for you; for us.” 

“You left me behind, Steve! When I needed you the most, you packed up and left! Who does that to someone they love, after everything we have been through!” 

My screams could be heard miles away and there wasn't a doubt in my mind that Sam and Natasha had awoken, probably wondering what Steve and I had been fighting about. 

“I was with you on that plane when you took it into the water, or did you forget?!” 

Steve’s face twisted with sorrow. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day, Y/N. I blame myself every day that I allowed you to be on the ship. I thought I could have kept you safe.” 

Tears pooled at the corners of my eyes. “We both went to sleep together that day, in the ice. We both woke up together, seventy years later. But you weren’t the only one that had to adjust!” 

“I know, I should have been there for you,” Steve stepped towards me. 

I stepped back from him. “The second you left, Fury took me under his wing, trained me to be his next assassin, something that I never wanted for my life. You didn’t want it for me either. But I didn’t have a choice. I needed to survive somehow!” 

Steve parted his lips to speak but I continued to rant on, everything I had bottled up all these years finally spewing from my mouth. 

“I was in this new world where nothing made sense so Fury used that to his advantage. I did things I’m not proud of and it gives me nightmares to this day which is why I had to get away. I needed to get far away from that life.” 

“I’m sorry,” Steve apologized. 

It went in one ear and right out the other. 

“Why now? Why did you decide now to come back into my life? I was finally getting over you, settling into a life that wasn’t filled with death or heartbreak. Then you came back, looking like this, and it brought everything back,” I sobbed while motioning to his new look.

Steve inched closer to me. “We needed a safe space and I knew that Fury had some place set up for you where no one can find you.” 

“So you only came to hide out, then what? Plan to make me love you again, fall into my bed, then leave before the sun comes up?” I accused with a hard gaze. 

“That was never going to happen,” He reassured me. “I knew that if I were to come back to you that I would need to do whatever it took to make it up to you.” 

I sucked in my lip. “Do you still love me?” 

The question burned deep in my stomach, spewing out like vomit in wanting to know the answer. 

“Never stopped.” 

Steve didn’t hesitate his answer for a second. 

The dormant butterflies sparked, their wings fluttering in my stomach slightly. 

“Do you still love me?” Steve asked. 

Before, I wanted to avoid this question with every fiber in my being because I never knew how Steve felt so now that I had his answer, I knew what to say. 

“Never stopped.” I repeated his own words. 

We shared a small smile but I held up my hand to stop Steve, who wanted to take a step towards me. Even though we admitted that we still loved one another and no matter how many times he apologized, I don’t think I was ready to forgive Steve. 

Yet. 

My bottom lip trembled as I let out a shaky breath. “You guys don’t have to rush out of here. Stay as long as you need. To be honest, the company will be nice. And maybe we can talk more about our future.” 

“I’d like that,” Steve admitted, his voice breaking. 

Giving Steve a final smile, I made my way back towards my bedroom, silently hoping that I wasn’t going to regret letting him not only into my home but back into my life.

[ur-mousey]

Benzo-Addict ~

- Yandere!Jeffery x F!Reader -

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Part One, Part Three

summary Drugs have always been your friend. A source of courage and tonight's no different. Now it's time to fuck a nerd. Hope your BF understands. 1k warning mature, non-con, hostage situation, abusive relationship cycle

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Oh... You came back. You aren't just a spinless quitter. Perhaps you’re a fucking psychopath. But fuck on, I guess.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jeffery had a lot of nervous ticks. He was a time bomb of sorts. And he was imploding at the seams right before your eyes. You noticed it as lab partners when research came out dry or when the hypothesis was proven wrong. But, you kept them noted in the recesses of your mind. Never thinking that you would see today as you do.

He rambled to himself, undiscernible to you. Jeffery picked his teeth with the tip of his knife. Like you'd caught him with his cutesy anime pens not too long ago. He would shake all over doing minuscule tasks and you joked about it with him. You'd wondered, cheekily, how could organizing papers cause someone to tremble more than a leaf?

But, in this case, he was gagging your boyfriend. Seem pretty fucking reasonable now. And you couldn't stop it. You watched. Wrist cleaned of bondage while Cody whipped his head around. It being all he could do. "Fuck off me! And my girl!!" His voice was a visceral growl, hoarse from his prior screeching. "You micro dick ince~ Hmhph."

"Stay silent like a good dog for a sec." Jeffery patted Cody's shoulder. He turned to you with a soft desolate smile. He padded over to you in a mere flash. "Hey you~ I'd told you to sleep, didn't I? It'll help. When I get you home, it'll be like this nightmare never happened."

"W-wh... Why?" You stuttered through the fatigue. The drugs were in the deepest reservoir of your stomach, begging to be felt in a dream. Yet you wheezed at the idea of losing this moment. This might be the last thing you ever see. "Don't hurt him."

Jeffery sighed, "Don't be like that, darling." He nodded towards your boyfriend. "He had it coming. Look at him. He's lookin' back at you." Shakily you looked over Jeffery's frame to see Cody more clearly. He was right, his eyes were on you. "Disgusting, ain't he."

Snot and tears choked him further than the soiled sock could. You'd never seen Cody so helpless. And you'd thought yourself capable of fleeing, but he would remain for dead, and your feet stilled at its iron gates. You've wished him gone a handful of times, but never like this.

"I have a few ideas," Jeffery continued, he gripped your hair, tugging you closer to his chest. "He's a shitty jock and a lowlife dragging you down. You've seen Corpse Party? Maybe I'll cut his tongue up like... Woah oh, easy there."

Every curse came to mind, aimed and sharpened at the back of his skill. You would damn him to hell and father down the pipeline if you could. But, You opted to squirm and whine out of Jeffery's grasp.

His slight hand tremors felt jarring against your scalp. You had held them once. The thought petrified you more so than Cody's muffled mulls.

"Calm down, please. You'd promise yourself that today would be the last, right? I'm giving that to you now!" You flinched at Jeffery's tone. Your eyes are wide and watering. "Don't give me that look. I knew you wouldn't see this from my perspective, but I'm doing this for you!"

You stilled, blanched, and mortified, by Jeffery's words. How would he know? You promised yourself throughout yesterday, Wednesday, and the day before that. You wanted out of this life. Cody wasn't the best. He was a sleaze, as Nicole puts it. But he was your definition of normal.

"That means jack shit," You squealed. The past doesn't matter. That promise doesn't, not at this moment.

Mornings started with arguments. You stoic in the face of him calling you the nastiest of names imaginable. Your insecurity set ablaze with accuracy. He never laid a hand on you. You couldn't say the same for the drywall, littered with the impressions of violent spouts. And Cody would be your most vocal supporter when you're high.

He'd call you the prettiest slut around for miles, rubbing his thumb over the flush of your checks from mystery shots. Cody begged for your lips to be on him constantly. And he desired your hips rocking over his shaft, causing you to spasm. He liked you sensitive. Despite your lack of control, he'd ask you to squeeze your drugged-up pussy around his cock, urging you to squirt down his balls.

Then by morning, he'll start tearing you down again, and you'll realize Cody hardly touches you sober.

It was normal. And each day you promised yourself you'd leave, you played further into the game. You'll think to yourself: What a fucking asshole, keeping praises locked behind a firewall of Xannies and Oxy.

But, you'll stay despite each passing day. You had told Jeffery about it, briefly -during a massive hangover no less. That didn't mean you wanted your boyfriend murdered. Without Cody, you'd be abnormal.

"It doesn't matter, he..." Jeffery laughed, his nerves spilling past his braced teeth. He nuzzled his nose along your eyebrow. And you felt on the verge of pissing yourself. "He brainwashed you. It's fine to be confused. Sleep off the drugs. We'll be home when you wake."

"Why?"

"Why what? Becoming sober would do you great."

You winced, "No? Why're you doing this."

Jeffery paused. He scratched at his temple. "Is it not obvious? I want you... badly. Not just your body, even though it's immaculate. You... um, have curves where I like them the most. And it's not every day I meet a pretty girl who loves anime and who's nice to me. Hello, you watched Pretty Cure and Sailor Moon. You were my only true friend. You could keep up with me like my Discord homies. And, um."

He was rambling. Fuck. You didn't know liking childish anime would get you here. Eight-year-old you was a bitch fucking whore~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

** Choice ** Skip past Jeffery's monologue a) end up in fucking the psycho anime freak, or b) end up in a ditch dead #yourimagination * click *

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Thank you for reading! Request rules are here. Follow my ig = lil.thoughts.xo!

Part One, Part Three

I am not a fan of Jeffery from 09'. That being said, I was shocked by the amount of people who liked part one! I hope this is good for y'all.

@opalineishere here's part twooo~

@sakurashana I tagged your ass because you had something to say the other day 😂

[utilitycaster]

Been burning through the third campaign of NADDPOD recently off of your recommendation and it's been incredible. Though it has made me think of what exactly makes its callbacks and references to the previous campaign work so well compared to C3. As you pointed out in your post about the podcast, they share more than a few similarities. I'd guess that the lighter tone overall helps quite a bit, though the Irondeep Saga and Hardwon's return to the adventuring life is genuinely very effective!

To me, most if not all of C3's returning characters and callbacks were self-aggrandizing and distracting. The initial return to Whitestone for Laudna especially.

I have not finished NADDPOD's C3 yet so maybe I'll be proven wrong, but I was just wondering if you had any insight on why it just, works better than its counterpart? Also, big fan of the blog! Your meta post have kept me sane during the various errands that Bells Hells half heartedly accomplish.

So I do want to note my issue with Whitestone and Laudna's resurrection isn't so much seeing Percy and Vex and Pike and Keyleth; it's much more that having that available so early cut off some notable opportunities in Marquet. Going to Jiana would have probably made the Delilah issue much more of a factor (since I doubt anyone she'd have known would have been a L20 cleric familiar with Delilah), would have done interesting things for Ashton's story, and would have kept the party on the continent and in the city, possibly spending more time with Eshteross and maybe even giving them an additional chance to encounter Otohan in person. In retrospect this could have fixed like five different things. I actually found that the previous character callbacks were one of the strongest elements and increasingly I also feel the original NPCs of C3, Otohan and Ozo aside, while few and far between, would have been great if Bells Hells like, cared about them and spent time with them.

I think the more important part is that Murph is not trying to wrap up an overarching plot across multiple campaigns; he's simply telling, well, the campaign after the campaign. He was pretty clear about that in the initial discussions for NADDPod C3 - it's heavily influenced by the decisions in the initial Bahumia campaign but like, the plot isn't to end the astral plane god-battles that set off; it's to save Bahumia from Mothership (and those two factions evolve to have other implications, but the core conflict is introduced early and remains as is). Now, I also think that having a smaller party that is generally absolutely fearless when it comes to decision-making is an important part and they deserve credit (just as, while I think Matt's errors were most significant for C3's issues, the cast's waffling and fear of picking the wrong choice is a factor - even a "wrong" choice would have been better in most cases), but a lot of it is that it's a pretty standard D&D style plot executed well. (This would be another really long post but I really do think D&D can handle a range of plots and genres, but it's still a limited range of plots and genres, and if you try to subvert it, as people increasingly try to do, it will not reward you for cleverness but rather backfire. I don't think C3 tries to subvert D&D nor do I think D&D is the problem here; also just to stave off dumb comments, Pathfinder has the same exact limitations and Daggerheart likely will have very similar ones - this is about a combat-skills-forward fantasy game with level progression in general of which D&D is the most prominent but by no means only example. However since I just answered about Neverafter, while that's not the question, I think Murph has a particularly good understanding of what D&D can do.)

I think it's a few things but I think one reason Murph has such a track record is first, he identifies pretty strongly as a comedy writer, though he's also obviously a performer; secondly, he is as far as I can tell cautious and surly and he came to TTRPGs as an adult; and thirdly, two major influences he has that others tend not to cite are gaming and wrestling, and I really think this is important.

I think as a writer, he tends to have a good sense of narrative and where things have to go. That doesn't mean there aren't unexpected turns, but I think he does a good job of planning for contingencies and having a confident hand in turning the story back. And again, I think having a 3-person party makes it easier to get back on the rails (or to build a new track very quickly) but I think he, to quote a truly stupid but not entirely wrong self-help quote, begins with the end in mind.

The cautiousness and surliness are in my opinion the secret to NADDPod. Look. Niceness is, well, nice, though Brennan has a great bit that I watched recently and have since forgotten the source of about how kindness and niceness are two separate concepts. I think Murph is really willing to tell his players "No" and I think it is always to his benefit. I think making your players explain what they want to do, or being willing to turn your player's riffing into something that might not be their intention (Sol and Albie and the whole reveal that the Academy made everyone feel like a hero while essentially churning out manufactured duos stands out to me) is important. I don't want to say every home game should have this because it shouldn't - if you are playing at home casually and just want to make your friends feel like the coolest people ever, you don't have to do this! But if you are an actual play show you should be telling a story, and to tell a good story you do have to kill a few darlings and make a few edits, and Murph is willing to do that and Matt is sometimes too generous for his own good to the detriment of story (and, imo, I think it's ultimately less rewarding for the players in the long run much of the time too!)

And thirdly, games and wrestling. Now I am obviously no expert in games, but from a complete beginner's perspective, something that keeps striking me is how many people become affronted when the side quests (or, more accurately, ignoring the side quests) impact the main quest in significant ways, even though it's simply good writing to have side quests that enhance your understanding of the main quest and make you stronger or better able to approach it because of your experiences. This is in fact one of the biggest reasons why C3 is so weak, and one of the reasons why I think NADDPod is consistently strong. And then as for wrestling: I am even less of an expert here, but wrestling requires clear storytelling and especially clear motivations, (hard to be subtle in that medium) and story told primarily through combat that better have a great conclusion. It's also, notably, a remarkably unpretentious thing to be into, even though it's popular with a lot of nerds (Danielle Radford is the guest from last week; Ify's a wrestling fan as well). As a result, I think Murph isn't afraid to be blunt and unsubtle in service of actually making something good and entertaining and cohesive, instead of trying to say something deep and failing. Because nothing crashes to the ground and burns than trying to say something deep and failing. I mean I love pretentiousness, but I know when to drop it, and I think NADDPod on the whole does too.

[thevoidisvoid]

Writing this because Sexy Dragon Man needs more love.

Adamai x Reader

Also cross-posted on Ao3, along with my NSFW works.

"Will you marry me?"

"What?"

You loved the rain. The way that it cleansed the air sending a fresh scent of pure earthy smells around you.

It was different here, then it had been on earth. Much more calming and relaxing despite all the evil in the World of Twelve. It was times like this that you didn't regret coming back.

Not that you had any control over that.

You'd built your cottage on the edge of the Sadida Kingdom, close enough where you could return in emergency situations, but far enough you remained undisturbed….

For the most part.

You finish the final touches on your painting, enjoying how easy it came to you now. It was simple here, and it was exactly what you needed. 

“______.”

You jump up immediately spinning around before breaking into a soft grin.

“Adamai.”

You hug him tightly, dragging him down slightly to your height. (Not that you were short of course, but he was so ridiculously tall.)

“I missed you.”

You stand there for a good while, enjoying his touch. It felt so good to be alive right now, that it brushed your anxieties away. His tail wraps loosely around your leg as he pulls away slightly to drag you into a kiss.

Everything was perfect.

You hum as a clawed hand comes up to hold your face, and you can't help but lean into his touch. You couldn't ask for anything better, this was all you need.

A few more long moments passed before he let you go. His tail still wrapped protectively around you. 

“I see you've been painting again.”

He sounds amused as he grasps your hands, inspecting the ink and paint splattered up your hands and arms. 

“Yes, and I think this is my best one yet.”

You sit back down on your stool, enjoying how he moved to cradle your body in his arms. You lean back against his chest. You're rewarded by a quiet purr, and his head resting on top of yours.

You both watch the rain fall from the view of your balcony. You didn't think this could get any better.

“We should get married.”

It takes you a moment to process what he said. And it was startling to realize what he had said, when you fully registered it.

“What?”

It's his turn to hum, his tail twisting a little tighter around your leg.

“I know you heard me.”

“Adamai, I thought you…”

You look downward, face ablaze at your shock and surprise. You now knew that you'd made an assumption about him, and had just been proven wrong.

“Thought I what..?”

His voice has a teasing tone as he looks down at you.

“I thought that you didn't want marriage or something…because you're a dragon..?”

There's no way you can't make that sound any better, and to your relief he laughs.

“Just because I disprove many of the traditions people have, doesn't mean I reject them all.”

That…made sense actually.

“I guess I just don't see you as the marriage type.”

“Oh really?”

His voice still has a teasing tone to it, and you stifle a giggle as his claws brush your side. 

“Does this mean no then?”

“No!”

You slap a hand over your mouth at that, cheeks flushed at your sudden outburst.

“I mean, ahem, no. I didn't mean it to come out like that.”

“What's your answer then?”

You don't miss how his tail pauses in its gentle movement, and how he remains silent. His whole body tense as he waits for your response.”

“Yes.”

Immediately all tension flees him, and he buries his face into your shoulder. 

“Good.”

You roll your eyes at his response, glad that he can't see how red your face is. He was stupid and prideful sometimes.

But he was your stupid dragon. And in that moment, it was all you needed.

[snowthedemonfox]

okay so i need to put my thoughts somewhere before i forget so uhhh heres a quick theory about what ep 6's adventure might be

(i could be extremely wrong though so glitch if youre seeing this and thinking about how wrong i am: i cannot wait to be proven wrong bc i am hyped for episode 6 either way)

so in the ep 4 trailer we can see this suggestions box, and based on Caine's conversation with Zooble in ep 3, i think all future adventures will be based on requests from the cast. like episode 5 being baseball themed. we saw an unfinished version of the stadium in the s1 teaser, and in ep 4 we can see Ragatha with a baseball. if ep 5 is the baseball episode, it'd make sense if she was the one who put that adventure idea in the suggestions box

so then i think we can safely assume the spudsy's adventure, even if it does seem to be rushed by Caine, might've been suggested by Gangle. why? not sure, im guessing we'll be told that in the episode itself, but if she did, then that means that yes, future adventures will be suggested by the character the episode is about

since episode 5 is the last episode that was teased in the s1 teaser, we have little to no info on episodes 6-9. i think its still a bit too early for me to guess what will happen in the final 3 episodes, but i think based on some other things we've been told i can make a safe guess about ep 6

i think it might be a dance themed episode. which, okay, hear me out, i have some more things i want to share with the class:

ONE: this would not be the first time one of Goose's "wait and see" answers would hint towards a future episode's adventure. back in september, before the s1 teaser released, someone asked her this:

which, as we know, a haunted house adventure DID happen in ep 3

(there was also this one, which if the ep 4 theories about someone being high are to be believed, then this one could also be a hint of something we didnt know about at the time. but take this with a grain of salt because ep 4 isnt out yet at the time of writing this)

TWO: "but why would Jax's episode be the dance one?? he wouldnt suggest something like that!!"

well, yes, he probably wouldnt let anyone else see him suggest something like that for an adventure, but who said you had to sign your name on the suggestions? couldnt he do it anonymously without anyone knowing who suggested it? doesn't seem like he's the kind of person to admit something like that

maybe in the episode, someone figures out it was him (maybe recognising his handwriting, since episode 4 has shown us what the cast's handwriting looks like on their spudsy's nametags), and that's what starts to cause problems. the point of the episode isn't the adventure itself, it's about Jax and his issues

THREE: this is the weakest piece of evidence here but im just thinking like, it kind of makes sense that a dance episode might feature a lot of different outfits. maybe Goose was talking about a later episode, but again, i have 0 ideas on what might be happening in those final 3, so my safest bet is that this was referring to episode 6

the only thing i DONT have an answer for, is why ep 6 would be described as "guns":

unless this post was made before the episode 7/8 split (which resulted in a total of 9 episodes), i have now idea how "guns" fits into this theory. we know thanks to the fandomcon QnA that Jax's weapon of choice would NOT be a gun, and would be revealed in canon to be something else. if Jax isn't the one with the gun, why is episode 6 described that way? i have 0 answers for this, and this one word could be the thing that destroys this already flawed theory lol

anyway uhhh post over thats my game theory i hope Jax continues to get worse <3

[lordmartiya]

Unexpected Guest

Hi, @professorducc, I'm your Secret Santa for @mlsecretsanta. Here's my gift to you, the story Unexpected Guest.

Marinette didn’t understand what was happening, and most importantly why. It wasn’t unusual when Lila was involved, but this time it was far more than usual. “Why?” she asked to the brunette now helping her pack. “You’re going to be a guest, and that means for the time being you’re basically family I can have dirty thoughts about.” Lila replied. “Simple as that.” “Yes, but-dirty thoughts?!” “In case nobody told you, you’re hot. An annoying santarellina that doesn’t know how to pick her battles, but a hot one.” “If that’s your idea of flirting, it’s not working.” Marinette replied, telling herself the heat she was feeling in her cheeks was from embarrassment. “And I mean why you’re taking me in while-while…” “That’s my mother’s idea. I guess it paints the embassy better, the consul helping the granddaughter of an Italian citizen in her time of need. And for what is worth, I hope your parents recover and someone finds that driver and feeds them their own license.” That was the problem. Her parents had been hospitalized after being hit by a car, and with Nonna Gina being around the world and her grandfather legally inelegible due what he called “the stupidest thing I ever did” Lila’s mother, the consul and acting head of the Italian embassy until Papillon was dealt with and the French government came back with the ambassadors and the nuclear codes, had stepped in, taken over guardianship for the time being, and was having her move at her home on the other side of Place des Vosges.

  “This is the guest room, and here the current Wi-Fi codes and how to get through the security jamming. Once you’ve used them throw the paper in the incinerator chute.” Lila said after showing the rest of the apartment to her new roommate and handing her the passwords for the week. “If you need any help, you only have to ask.” “The what chute?” Marinette asked. Of course, she had no idea how diplomats’ family lived. “Welcome to the world of diplomacy, full of secrets to be kept through lies, deception, and even destruction at times. It’s one absurd world, to the point I have no idea if my mother was joking when she told me of the Japanese “troubleshooter”, if you get what I mean, that poses as a diplomat and always wears a plushie rabbit mask – though if I actually see him, I’m leaving before he starts weaponizing macarons and firing lasers from the eyes.” Marinette was bewildered. Good, the phantomatic Usagi-sensei would keep her mind off the event long enough to get Alya her security clearance and get inspected to visit her friend.

  “You had to get a security clearance?!” Marinette asked her best friend once she arrived. “Yeah… Fingerprints, a background check… And then they checked me and the package as if we were suspicious at an American airport, only they didn’t assume I was guilty until proven otherwise.” Alya confirmed. “They even complimented me for the brand of bug detector.” “Just… Let’s use it, I’m not trusting Lila until I verified she hasn’t bugged the room.” Turned out Lila had bugged the room. As in she had put a single bedbug-shaped listening device on the desk, near its receiver and a note saying “Satisfied?”. “What is she planning?” Marinette wondered. “Maybe nothing? I mean, she’s actually doing what she said she’d do.” Alya pointed out. “And if she had bad intentions, she’d have already stolen the Box. Marinette had no counter to that. Maybe she was actually being sincere. She could even ask her what her grandfather’s problem was, if the security was like that then it was likely on file.

  “Sorry, what?” “Your grandfather got arrested with a fascist group that was preparing a coup over EU membership.” Lila explained, having seen too much weird stuff like that to bat an eye at what she had just read. “Apparently it was more a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time so he got a suspended sentence, but he still followed a friend there and thought what they said made sense to him until they started talking of armed action and it made rethink his life. Still better than my great-granduncle.” Lila didn’t really want to share that, but Marinette was a guest and someone she admired and she wasn’t letting her in the dumps for her grandfather having been an idiot. “What did he do?” Marinette asked, taking the bait. “Officially? Nothing, he was just the podestà of Brescello until 1945. But if you read between the lines, you’ll get why right after the war the town’s archpriest and the local Communist leader ran him out of town. But I hope you aren’t assuming that person’s actions decide who I am, just like Roland Dupain’s idiocy doesn’t decide who you are.” Marinette could read between the lines. Her expressions made clear she didn’t know what a podestà was in context, but an archpriest and a Communist leader running someone out of town back then said more than enough. And her guest got the message. That was enough for Lila, who grabbed her copy of one of the old spirit cultivation texts Chloè found, hoping that her study would help her in her attempt to settle the score with Ladybug.

  Marinette had thought to stalk Lila. She had been acting weird, and with everything that had happened in their past she decided to find what her cute host was up to. She had not been expecting to track her and Chloè to a catacomb right on the city’s Dragon Vein (or ley line, as they were called by Western mysticists) – and tapping into it with a Wellspring. A place perfect for all types of Spirit Cultivation, to the point that if she had access to this “La Plage”, as they had named the catacomb, she’d have broken through and obtained unrestricted use of a Miraculous months ago. Still, she first had to ask one thing: “Where’s Sabrina?” “Certainly not in a section of the Catacombs closed to the public.” replied Chloè. “You think I’d bring the daughter of an archer here?” Right, stupid question. “What does archery have to do with this?” Lila asked. “That’s what we call our cops.” Chloè answered before turning to Marinette. “As for you, what are you doing here?” “I… I was just curious, Lila acted so weird and-” “Ugh! Don’t tell me that Andrè’s orange and green ice cream was actually a sign!” “No!” came the denial, with Marinette wondering why she felt her cheeks heating up just as she looked for something, ANYTHING to distract the blonde and the (pleased?! Seriously?!) Italian. Wait. The Wellspring! “By the way-“ “Don’t change topic.” Lila interrupted. “I’ve heard about the ice cream, but it seems there’s more about it than I thought.” “That can wait, Dupain-Cheng’s distractions are always useful.” Chloè pointed out. “I take you were talking of the Odic Magnet?” Marinette would later learn her scream of horror started a new legend about the Catacombs. “You went by a biomagnetism design?!” she whispered in horror. “So?” Marinette didn’t answer. She just pulled her phone (somehow that area had excellent reception) and called Big Sister Fei. She was the single best Cultivation expert Marinette knew of, and she wasn’t going to let the two accidentally give themselves the same kind of imbalanced qi-induced insanity that by now Paris’ favorite terrorist had to be in the grip of.

  Lila didn’t like being in debt. That was why she had resolved to find a way to repay Marinette for saving her sanity and possibly soul. And while normally she’d be happy for a chance, this was just too weird. “Ch’hai detto?” Lila asked, slipping in her native Romanesco dialect from the surprise. Luckily, it was very close to standard Italian and her interlocutor was fluent in that. “I said, this is the perfect chance to deal with Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” Gabriel repeated. “She’s weak and vulnerable, and you are in the perfect position to insure she won’t recover.” “With all due respect” that is none at all “she’s become inoffensive. Wouldn’t be more practical to make her an ally?” “I’m not taking risks. Finish her off. Frame her for theft, or something. Make sure she won’t have the ability to corrupt Adrien, your job depends on it.” “Very well. I know what to do.”

  Marinette couldn’t believe what she was hearing in Lila’s recording. Neither could Adrien. “How did you record this? Father has a jammer in his atelier.” he pointed out. “Tape recorder, too primitive to be affected.” Lila replied. Her recorder did look weird… But if Gabriel was doing this – “And before you ask, he’s got nothing to do with the crash, mom checked.” “Now what?!” Marinette shouted. “If he hates me, he will-“ “He will un cazzo.” Lila hissed as she put her hand on Marinette’s. Something she found oddly comforting. “This isn’t about planning a counterattack, it’s about planning how to deal with the aftermath once the Caramba have Carambed him.” “What?” Adrien asked. Marinette, on the other hand, understood Italian slang enough to realize what would happen. Though she wondered if it was legal. Then Lila’s phone signaled it had received something. And once she looked it, she laughed Volpina’s laugh. “Well, they Carambed him faster than expected.” she said as she forwarded the message. “Did you know I have Ladybug’s number?” Marinette knew, she had given it right after Chamele-oh. Oh, no. “Marinette, why are your earrings flashing?” Lila asked.

“So, let’s resume everything.” Lila said once the consequences of the Carabinieri detachment of the embassy putting Agreste Manor under full surveillance and catching a charged Akuma coming out had unfolded. “Gabby was Le Papillon, his minion Mayura, and they started hunting the Miraculous down to revive Adrien’s mom after she got nearly killed by a broken Miraculous and it didn’t dawn on them they could just Akumatize Adrien, who’s also Chat Noir and a Sentimonster because in his own words “adoption is for peasants”, with the right powers to do the job rather than alter the fabric of the universe. Something we’ve proven is possible by giving the Butterfly Miraculous to this Socqueline so that she could have you heal your parents and then have Adrien heal the minion and his mom – who the police are currently holding for questioning about a few weird incidents.” “Yes.” Marinette confirmed, her face indecifrable. “You are also Ladybug, and the whole reason of the initial accident is that back then Adrien’s involvement in anything made you lose more braincells than Alya did back then when Ladybug was involved.” “Yes.” “You have some explaining to do. Seriously, why did YOU wear such a plain” and sexy “costume?! I thought you couldn’t possibly be Ladybug because you have a fashion sense, and she obviously didn’t!” Marinette’s face showed her relief. The fool. She had only a few days before she got back home, and Lila was going to tease the everliving everything out of her new romantic target friend while she could. She didn’t know what the future held, but it was clearly brighter than either of them expected.

Author notes

There’s an Easter egg in this story. Yes, I did what I did. No, I’m not telling you what I did. But if you got it you’re probably laughing your ass off. Lately I got interested in the Spirit Cultivation genre, that draws heavily on Daoism… And as it happens, the show in general and the Chinese Miraculous Box in particular are easily tied to it, allowing me to actually fill the gigantic plot holes of Lila and Chloè’s character arcs: in the effort to get the power to survive the perceived threats they Cultivated themselves into villainy, with Chloè becoming more selfish and Lila getting so engrossed in her lies she thought it was a good idea to create multiple fake identities (and achieving the magical bullshitting power to convince two women she’s their daughter). I also had fun getting in some Vitalist idea to connect.

[emblemxeno]

I've been replaying fates this year after a long time, and shit is Conquest hitting different now. I got the game on release (middle schooler at the time) and didn't give too much thought to the story, just kinda going with the crowd of "fates story bad" without really thinking to much about it. Suffice to say, after playing it recently I no longer feel that way.

Playing Conquest as a women who is put in danger and routinely suspected of dishonesty and treason by the corrupt men in power due to the circumstances of my birth (while having a family that fully accepts me as their sister) fucking gut punched me. Corrin wanting to not hurt/exploit people as much as possible, despite the society that they are a part of and perpetuating being built from the ground up to do so (and not really being painted as stupid in story), felt way more realistic than it did 9 years ago.

Also Lilith's death, while it didn't hit me too much, felt fine as a plotpoint. If i was already in an extremely emotionally vulnerable state and my longtime maid/pet goldfish died to save me, I would be really sad. Drastic oversimplification but I think it gets the point across

YEEEES, THIS THE GOOD STUFF!

What makes Fates' narrative so good to me is that it operates on philosophical questions.

Do I choose this family over the other, or decide to back neither? Is peace truly a worthy end goal if the journey there has me risk my values? Is justice something that's stable and structure, or is it something that each individual must define for themselves, and does justice even exist at all? What does being a leader mean? What does being a hero mean?

And so many more.

But the best question it asks is this: Is conflict inevitable and just the way things are? And the answer is always a resounding NO! Corrin exists as a character to question and uproot the fabric and understanding of the world around her. She believes the conflict between Nohr and Hoshido is unreasonable at its core. She doesn't think there is a quick fix to anything, and recognizes there has to be some sort of inner change of how each kingdom functions in order for the bad blood to truly end.

It's why Xander and Ryoma are both proven wrong in CQ and BR respectively. Xander's beliefs about justice and doing what you can for the people around you rather than stay naive is wise in a reasonable world, but the war between Nohr and Hoshido was never reasonable. Ryoma's beliefs about problems being solvable by himself and through just beating down Nohr would be valid had Nohr been completely evil and he was strong enough to do things by himself, but neither of those things are the case. Hence their character development and respective speeches at the end of those routes.

Corrin's influence was paramount in them realizing that, because Corrin never let go of the idea that justice and peace can exist in a new Nohr, and she kept advocating for Hoshido to understand Nohr's place in the world compared to them (more in the JP version but meh). Choosing Rev, meanwhile, is the peak of questioning the world she lives in, where against terrible odds she still presses on to change things. Initially, Ryoma and Xander both try to "correct" her way of thinking saying that "she'll get herself killed taking a neutral position" and "it's my duty to teach you the truth." Again, they're both wrong.

The war is founded upon unreasonable violence, but they've been conditioned to believe other wise. Corrin, being isolated from that mindset, simply does not understand why it's that way and plain refuses to except that. She's derided for being naive, childish, an idealist.

But whose beliefs come out on top in the end? Guess in the end, the war was never truly "just how things are", but something that everyone can break away from.

(Also yes yes yes, I feel you on the Lilith aspect, I honestly think that was the biggest case of Avatar vs. Player separation, because it means a lot to Corrin, but most players decidedly didn't care/acknowledge Lilith as important after not being in the story past the Branch of Fate. Same on the premise of trying desperately to not exploit or harm innocent people while operating in a system that encourages such actions, ughhhh, it hits all the notes at just the right times)

[ranfordgallus]

Sometimes i forget there are like actual adults in the internet, like- not that i dont KNOW, i follow many adults in social medias and i know theyre adults, im talking about... problematic ones.

Im so used to seeing things on tiktok where a person is being distasteful in there, they usually get called out (as they should) and most of them are just kids who doesnt know any better, you get me? Now.. whenever i see another person or a video talking about- or calling out a very problematic creator, i usually think "oh its probably just a teenager who doesnt know any better or just a rage baiter" and then i get flashbanged when i found out the person is like...almost at their 30's or 40's

and if theyre that age, that means theyre a millennial, meaning they would be in the internet most of the time im guessing.. so im like..i feel like you'd know if you've been in the internet for THAT long and old enough you'd know if you do these things you'd get called out or bullied, YET THEY STILL DO?

This is just a rant of mine, this isnt a target to ALL millennials obviously because...like i said this is abt problematic ones, gen z'ers just like me has also been in the internet too, and there ARE problematic ones im sure...ive seen them alot, i just thought that if you're like been in the internet longer than most gen z's you'd like be aware of what you do or post in the internet or atleast change from your mistakes but i guess ive been proven wrong yk LOL

[bitchface24-7]

We know the Winchester Brothers Obsess over one another, it’s canon and blatant text within Supernatural.

Here’s a little blurb I came up with cause I can’t sleep and it’s 2:10 in the morning :)

——————

Sam loves his big brother. It’s a given. After everything they’ve been through it’d be unfathomable for them not to love each other.

But Sam can’t stand the fact Dean doesn’t seem to love him as much as Sam loves him. Sam knows Dean loves him, would do anything for him. But it seems like Dean’s avoiding him.

He’s going to bars more often and hooking up with the first girl he sees. There’s been too many times Sam had to leave their shitty motel room cause Dean wanted to get his dick wet. It’s frustrating, it’s embarrassing. The only thing that weirdly enough makes it better is the fact Dean is constantly wearing his amulet Sam gifted him all those years ago.

Those girls may be there for the moment, but Sam is Dean’s for life.

Sam thinks Dean doesn’t love him as much as he loves Dean. He’s proven wrong on one of their hunts though.

By a Siren.

——————

“I gave him what he needed. And it wasn’t some bitch in a g-string. It was you, his little brother.” The siren taunts as Dean holds Sam, his sharp knife digging into Sam’s throat. Sam damn near blacks out at that. A demon known to take on its victims sexual fantasies; and Dean’s is Sam?

The confrontation goes rapidly with Bobby coming in and saving their asses. Stabbing Dean in the shoulder and the demon in the back.

Sam doesn’t know what to think, he doesn’t know what to say. So he keeps quiet. The pleading look on Dean’s face help him make that choice as well.

——————

“What did he mean?” Sam questions out of the blue one day, months after that fateful hunt.

Dean looks over to Sam in confusion from the motels couch, “Who Sammy, Darren? The waiter from the diner? It was an innuendo that meant butt se—“ before Dean can finish his taunt, Sam cuts him off with an eye roll, “No Dean, not Darren. I know what he meant. I meant the siren from a few months ago.”

At the mention of that hunt, Dean shuts down. His expression flattens and he somehow metaphysically pulls away from Sam. Sam can’t get a read on him; and he hasn’t been able to do that since he was a baby.

“Nothin’ Sammy. It means nothing.” Dean mutters as he takes a long swig from his beer, the sports game playing on the TV now Deans main focus.

Sam scoffs at that lame ass excuse, “Bullshit. It means something and I think I have the right to know what that is.”

“The hell you do! You don’t need to know everything you fucking snoop, leave it be!” Dean’s voice raises as his jaw clenches. Sam raises an eyebrow at his brothers aggressive reaction. He’ll get Dean to crack, one way or the other.

Sam decides to taunt Dean. With an over-exaggerated flip of his hair, Sam quotes the siren, “I gave him what he needed. And it wasn’t some bitch in a g-string. It was you, his little brother.” Sam says in a fake saccharine tone. Batting his eyelashes at his older brother before getting serious.

“Dean, Siren’s take on their victims greatest sexual fantasy. Their celebrity crush, the one that got away, the server from your favourite restaurant. All that shit. But yours was… me. Why?”

Dean purses his lips and takes an even bigger sip of his bear, wetting his lips as a drop trails down his neck. Dean wipes it away when the back of his hand with a morose sigh. Sam quickly averts his eyes from that gesture.

“You just answered your own damn question Sammy.”

Sam gapes, “I’m your biggest sexual fantasy? How, why?”

Dean rolls his eyes at his brothers shock, “I don’t even know where to begin Sammy. I’ve always loved you. I’m not sure when the wires got all tangled and fucked up but it happened. I guess being the main one to take care of you really messed everything up, huh?”

Sam wants to cry a bit. It does make sense, Dean is everything to him. His mother, his father, his brother, and his best friend. All they’ve known all their lives is each other. They’re each other’s greatest weakness.

“If it’s any consolidation Dean, my siren looked like you too.” Sam quietly states as he gets up from his laptop and moves to sit next to Dean. Stealing the beer from his limp hand and taking a massive swig. Deans eyes and lips part minutely.

“You… wait— what?” Dean questions, his words barely escaping his lips. Sam just smiles and kisses his brothers cheek; as close to his mouth as he can, before shuffling around and getting comfortable. Leaning into Dean’s side he makes himself small to cuddle up to Dean. “So… who’s winning?”

Dean just huffs a laugh at the blatant change of subject, steals back his beer and continues to watch the game, “Look at the top left corner. It tells you.” Sam rolls his eyes, “You know I’m not a big sports person. I don’t know the team names from just a few letters!” The two continue to bicker, as if nothings changed.

In all honesty, it really hasn’t. Their unspoken bond has finally been brought to the light.

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

Remember that scene from episode 7, when Aemond tries to approach Jace on Driftmark, looking like he is about to offer his condolences but at the same time knows he shouldn't because even Jace can't acknowledge his real father? And Jace looks somewhat annoyed and Aemond leaves, then Jace glances at Aegon who is already in his cups and doesn't even notice him? There were no scenes like that in season 2. Short but meaningful, the scenes that reveal so much about the characters involved. We have Aemond who even after being mocked by his nephews still can sympathise with them in a way and the two (Aemond/Jace) can give us a 'what if' moment that creates the ultimate fallout more tragic. Then we have Jace who obviously is interested more in Aegon as a ringleader, an older boy he looks up to, and yet, it's Aemond, the boy he mocks for not having a dragon, the one who approaches him. These kind of scenes are important for the character building and also for making a stronger emotional impact on the audience when it comes to the fate of the mentioned characters. S2 had none of this and destroyed and undid whatever s1 built character and story-wise. Aemond's and Alicent's characters suffered the most, no doubt, but it was bad in general.

Also, in the balcony scene it's obvious how helaena and aemond have a great chemistry and it just made me even more mad because they had so little screentime together in both seasons. Same goes for Aegond. It's criminal they had zero good scenes , save for that one in e6 that is just used to not so subtly remind us that Aemond is a sadist. Also, why wouldn't Aemond just finish Aegon off because as long as he lives, Aemond is not safe? The answer: in the book he obviously didn't try to kill him at RR and therefore wouldn't want to kill him in the aftermath either, but these idiots just needed their shitty change to all of the sudden make Aemond a one dimensional villain, make Aegon as pitiful as possible and to show how terrible and dysfunctional the greens are as a family. However, they couldn't just kill Aegon off so early and that's why they attempted to fix their stupid plothole with that scene when Aemond threatens him. Like, what?? I'm supposed to believe that was enough for Aegon to shut up for weeks and then just leave? Nah. There were bunch of similar idiocies through the whole season and I'm sure that something seriously went wrong between s1 and 2 because the drop in quality is jarring. I'm not saying s1 was that great, but this one was abysmal. Probably Miguel leaving was one of the main reasons, but whatever it was, this season will remain a great example of what not to do when you make a TV show. I just feel sorry for the lost potential and also for the people who are planning to watch s3 because, unless you're a die hard tb stan with zero critical thinking skills, I can't see the appeal.

Ugh, I hope this rant makes sense 😅

Hello, and thank you for the ask!

You're making a very good point. Season 1 was by no means perfect; but there was at least some if not love then genuine investment in the story and the characters from the showrunners - one could feel that at least occasionally. I guess it really came from Sapochnik's end because Condal clearly couldn't care less. The show used to have a soul - and now it feels empty. And, as it has been proven time and time again through the entirety of cinematic history, it is virtually impossible to create a truly good film or TV show if you don't give a damn about its essence.

I saw some people calling season 2 "a trailer for season 3" - because of how underwhelming and lacking in substance it turned out to be, I assume. To me it feels like something in between a trailer for the things to come and a recap of an actual season that was filmed but not shown to us for some reason. Pretty much everything feels superficial - even the dragged out scenes supposedly added for symbolism purposes or whatnot. The relationships between the characters are underdeveloped at best, destroyed at most (for example, chemistry between Green siblings' actors is utterly wasted indeed); some plot points make no sense; quite a few characters seem to have got a personality transplant in between the seasons.

Actually, I can understand why people, even TG fans would still be willing to watch season 3 (some for Aegon and Larys storyline, some for Alysmond - whatever form it takes, some for other reasons which could be many). As for me though - at the risk of sounding too dramatic - I had too much heart poured into this show and got hurt too badly by what it has become to even think of continuing to watch it without feeling sick. At least, for now.

[miss0atae]

15 Day BL Challenge 2024 - The Sequel (PART 1) :

I never have enough it seems. Again, we don’t really have time to do it from day to day, so I’m going to post 5 of them in a post. You can find this challenge here and thanks to @slonekaru for making this sequel.

16 – What show has taken you by surprise this year?

Three shows has taken me by surprise this year.

The first one is Reverse 4 You. I remember when I saw the first pictures of this series and I read the synopsis. I was thinking “meh”, it’s not for me. I think I waited until the series reach the middle of its story to watch it and I never expected to like this series as much as I did. It has its flaws as any other series, but it never really was a problem for me. I was charmed by the main leads and I was rooting for them to be together. It was a great surprise and I had fun.

The second series was Every You, Every Me. I admit, it may be wrong, but I usually get hyped by a series for two reasons: its plot or the actors/actresses that star in it. However, when I read the synopsis of this series, I didn’t get the appeal. I also admit I didn’t know the actors, so I had nothing to really grab my attention. I know myself, sometimes my judgment can be too hasty, so I gave it a try and it became one my favorite Sunday treat. The actors’ performance were really good and the idea of mixing several stories and featuring the same leads was compelling.

The third one is a series that is still airing and it's Caged Again. I really thought it would be a silly show that will just be entertaining. Again, I was proven wrong. There is so much more in this series that I never expected. I forgot that sometimes, talking about serious topics, doesn't require a serious settings or characters. Animals-turned-humans that experience what the meaning of humanity is actually a good idea.

17 – What's your most returned-to / comfort BL show?

If we are strictly talking about a 2024 show, I would say Love for Love’s Shake. I re-watched it several times and I always get the same feelings. I guess it gave me hope when I was feeling down.

However, if it’s my most returned-to BL show of all time, I will have to say Not Me, again. I already said many times how much this series count for me, so I won’t repeat myself because you'll get tired of reading the same things all the time.

A special mention to I Will Knock You and 3 Will Be Free.

18 – What show are you waiting most (im)patiently for?

Do we have to give only one?! There isn't only one show that I'm waiting for very impatiently, so I'm going to give 5 of them (but the list is longer). These are the ones I really can't wait. There are at the top of the list.

The Ex-Morning because I really can't wait to see what they are going to give us. I know I'm pretty late to the party as I watched Sotus and the sequels this year (again a special thanks to @dropthedemiurge for showing me what I was missing), but no one is really too late to appreciate something. I was impressed by the work of Krist and Singto and I want to see what they can bring to this story.

Interminable seems to have everything I like in one story: historical romance paired with drama and reincarnation. We're also going to see beautiful traditional Thai dances and I really started to appreciate them thanks to @heaven-is-in-your-arms-series that writes about them in series (I also want to add that they regale me with their reviews of Mhom Ped Sawan)

Us is my third choice because it’s been too long and the wait is actually killing me. I wish I could say it’s because the story seems incredible that I would like to watch this series, but I have to admit it’s mostly because of Emi Thasorn. This woman is so dreamy.

Goddess Bless You From Death is a story I can’t wait to see. I got a taste of “horror” BL series with DFF and now I want to have more. I also started to read the first chapter of the book in English and so it made me really anticipate this series (I will probably never know the end of the story without the series because the kind translator of this series stopped translating).

The last one I can’t wait to see is Only Friends: Dream On. I admit I like the drama and the messiness of the first one. This new cast and the trailer made me really curious to see what we can get. I’m a simple person, I like to be entertained and this seems to be pretty fun.

A special mention to Wicked, Pit Babe 2, Memoir of Rati, Girls Rules and The next Prince.

19 – If you could turn any Non-BL show into a BL, which would you choose?

Very easy to choose, I would say High School Frenemy. I know it was very BL-coded bromance, but why not going full BL?!

On a side note, I feel Summer Night would have made a good GL with a side dish of BL.

20 – Which series do you wish had more episodes than it did or you wish had another season?

The On1y One can't finish with this lukewarm ending. I know there were several announcement of a second season, but as there is nothing happening now, I still think I can add this series here so Tian and Wang can finally end up together. They found something in each other and I wish them happiness by keeping it.

Meet You at the Blossom was such a delight and I wish it had more episodes so I could enjoy all these characters more. I know we got special episodes, but it wasn't enough for me. It was great, but can't I be greedy?! I think it would also have given more time for the other couples.

Every You, Every Me, can have more seasons and a GL spin-off. I didn't get enough with this series.

A special mention to the Trainee, LoveSick 2024, First Note of Love and This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans.

[randombrambles]

Okay...going to wade into the Sabezra discussion. May the flying spaghetti monster in sky have mercy on my soul...

I guess you could call me a "causal viewer" because, despite being a life long Star Wars fan, I'd never watched an episode of Rebels before watching Ahsoka. I just never got around to it and I've only watched a handful of eps of The Clone Wars too. But anyway once I started Ahsoka I was like "this show will clearly make more sense if I watch Rebels" so I started. I'm almost done season 3 of Rebels as of writing this post. And really loving Rebels btw. Part of me of like "why didn't I watch this earlier?" but on the other hand I don't have to wait for the next episode and I know the major spoilers already so I'm not going to get the rug yanked out from under me.

So back to Ahsoka and Sabezra...the big questions. Did I see the romance "coding" (not sure I agree "coding" is the right word but whatever, that's semantics) in Ahsoka? Yes. Sabine's actions definitely come across as her being in love with Ezra to me. That said I can also see the platonic angle, especially after having watched some of Rebels, so I'm not going to tell anyone they are wrong for viewing Sabine and Ezra's relationship as platonic. These things are subjective and open to interpretation until anything definitively romantic or definitively not romantic happens on screen. And at this point nothing definitive has happened either way on screen. Nobody has been proven right and nobody has been proven wrong yet. Sabezra is basically schrodinger's cat right now.

Next how did I interpret the "like a sister" line in Ezra's holo. Um...full disclosure the first time I viewed that scene I didn't even register that he'd said she was "like a sister" to him. I'd never even seen Rebels at that point so I didn't know Ezra yet. So as a causal viewer my take away from that scene was Ezra meant a lot to Sabine and Sabine meant a lot to Ezra. And I'd be wiling to bet that that was the takeaway for most causal viewers.

So on rewatch do I think the "like a sister" line means that Ezra truly sees Sabine as a sister? No. On rewatch, paying close attention to the body language, and after having watched some Rebels, I think Ezra is both struggling to find the words to tell Sabine how important she is to him and telling her what he thinks she needs to hear in that moment. The problem is that in English we don't have a word to describe someone isn't technically family but who isn't a lover either but who's also way more than "just" a friend. Sister is the best word Ezra can come up with in that moment but you can tell from his awkward body language and his literal scoff as soon as he says it that its not the right word. And yeah I think Ezra thinks that Sabine sees him as a brother so he tells her what he thinks she wants to hear right before he heads of on what very well could have been a suicide mission.

Do I think Sabezra is going to be made canon on Tuesday's final episode of Ahsoka (of season 1 at least). No, but hold on nobody panic!!! I also don't think that means Sabezra is dead in the water either. And frankly I'm kind of mystified as to why Sabezra shippers seem to think that the next episode is make or break for Sabezra when its clearly not? If there isn't a love declaration or a kiss or both (which is what I'm assuming people would interpret can them being made canon) its not like either Sabine or Ezra are going to marry someone else on Tuesday either. And since much of Ahsoka has been set up, meaning not much is actually going to get resolved in the next ep (Thrawn hasn't even left Perida[?] yet! I fear we are ending on a cliff hanger), we'll be seeing Sabine and Ezra again. There's no rush for them to get together romantically (and I know that's hard to hear for people who've been shipping for years but its true).

And further to the "there's no rush" point I actually have to say I that I think its WAY too soon for anything definitively romantic to happen between Ezra and Sabine yet (and again I get how hard that is for those who've been shipping them for a long time). And I say that as both a "casual viewer" and someone who's also watched a good chunk of Rebels now. For the causal viewer who hasn't watched Rebels, which is probably a big chunk of the audience for Ahsoka, they barely know Sabine, have just met Ezra and have only seen them interacting for ONE episode and don't know any of their history. A kiss or a love declaration would seem out of the blue at this point I think. And as someone who's getting into Rebels I still think its too soon. While I agree that Sabine is very likely in love with Ezra I don't think she's admitted to herself yet (that's why Baylan used the word family when he was getting her to hand over the map thingy imho) no way is she ready to tell HIM. And as for Ezra...dude is clueless that Sabine might might have non platonic feelings for him so no way is he going to risk ruining their friendship by blurting out that he's in love with her. And not only that they've been separated for 10 YEARS ffs. They need to get to know each other again before anything romantic can happen, again imho. I want Sabezra to become canon but I want it done WELL. Sabezra is a friends to lovers ship, they are still firmly in the friends stage right now, it needs to be a sloooooow burn.

And finally do I think Sabezra will become canon? Honestly...I don't know. I'd like it to, it would be really nice to have a non problematic ship, especially after the sequel trilogy robbed us of FinnRey and tried to force freaking r*ylo. But I think Filoni and the other powers that be over at DLF (he is NOT the sole person calling the shots here, keep that in mind everyone) are probably testing the waters right now and waiting to see what the audience reactions are like before they make any decisions. I'd be wiling to bet that by the end of Tuesday's episode the door will be left wide open for pretty much anything to happening shipping wise. So we'll just have to wait and see. Time will tell, it always does.

[redeemed-wren]

Hmm.

What DO I have to offer?

Like. I'm not BAD. I don't think I'm unpleasant to be around. I'm friendly and can make people laugh sometimes and can listen and smile along and Do Tasks with or for people. I don't make anyone's life worse by being around.

But what do I have to offer that can't be found in someone else? I'm always One Of The Group--individual relationships just don't develop. And clearly that's a Me Thing, because i am the common denominator. I exist in the group and then I go home and people carry on with their lives. I leave early and there is nothing missed, they can continue having fun without me.

I am a net neutral existence. Which means that while I enjoy spending time with people, and maybe they'll enjoy the moment hanging out, I am forgotten in between. I don't create individual bonds, I don't become an important figure in people's lives, I'm not someone people message through the week or talk to casually.

I just Exist. And when I'm around, people can enjoy my presence, but I'm not enough of anything to stay in their mind. Which means I will never form strong, intimate, individual bonds because why form that with me when there's people who can offer more. Why settle with the net neutral when there's a net positive person just over there?

I just.... I'm not negative. This is not self deprecation. It's life; people don't see me as someone beyond One Of the Group. No point angsting over it, I will never be anything more than Average, and why would someone settle for Average as a partner or close friend when there's so many better options?

And it hurts a bit, because I will never be someone's priority. But I guess that's okay for now, because there isn't much alternative. But it's been twenty-four years and I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if I can change, so I need to be okay with it. I am getting used to being one of the group, standing at the edge of the conversation, out of sight out of mind. That's life; I can't expect more.

And I'd love to be proven wrong, and id love to be important and a priority for someone, but that's one of those 'false hopes that will disappoint and turn me bitter' thoughts. Its better to just be okay with neutrality.

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (12/4/2024) Episode: A Better Understanding

After the career fair Skye finished his homework and stayed at his bedroom desk, thinking and writing in the journal his parents had bought him.

Noemi had done her best to convince her gloomy, anxious son to talk to some of the wonderful therapists she knew, but he continued to decline. Skye didn’t want professionals putting disappointing labels on his feelings and was even more afraid they’d say his worries were normal, and here to stay.

He did find the journal very helpful though. Putting his feelings down a sentence, word, and letter at a time seemed to make them less one giant jumble and more a collection of small and manageable things. He could turn each page with no worries about what the book thought of him.

That night as he recounted the fun he’d had with Gretchen and his conversations at the fair he was reminded of the strange S.I.M.S. agent and how he’d called Skye a lady. Gretchen had seemed surprised that he hadn’t bothered to correct the other sim because he felt it didn’t really matter.

Skye wasn’t ready to put a label on the difficult emotions he often struggled with, but as he wrapped up that night's entry, he decided he was ready to figure out why other sims seemed to have such strong, strange feelings about theirs, and everybody else's, gender identity.

Instead of going to bed Skye pulled out his laptop. He started with the additional resource links Mr. Haas had given the class after their Health Day lecture, but those were just more of the same information they’d gotten in the lesson. That wasn’t what he needed!

Finally, Skye pulled up his favorite search engine and typed in “What does it mean if I don’t care about gender?”

Immediately the screen filled up with websites and social media discussions about gender, social influences, and quite a lot of references to folks who considered themselves gender apathetic, agender or non-binary. He didn’t like the sound of anything “pathetic” no matter what the word meant, but he definitely got the sense that he fit in that area. Agender seemed like a nice, short and simple, title, and he felt much better having it in hand.

As he continued reading Skye found himself nodding along to other sims descriptions of not really understanding what others found so important about gender labels and of not wanting to have gender stereotypes or expectations placed on them.

He frowned as he thought back to his conversation with Elyse during their shopping trip and Bruce’s snide remarks in the lunchroom. Their comments had proven that despite what his parents said about doing whatever made him happy, someone would likely have something to say if any little thing he did didn’t meet their specific ideas of what a boy (or a girl) “should” do.

“So, how can I escape from dealing with all those expectations every time I meet someone new?” Skye murmured to himself.

Skye continued searching the web and found many interesting discussions about pronouns. He’d been referred to as “he” his whole life; so of course, it had been his default guess when Gretchen had asked for his preferred pronouns. He remembered her quip at his answer and smiled.

“I guess I guessed wrong” he said, laughing. It seemed that the most common form of gender-neutral pronoun was they/them, but that didn’t feel right to him, for him. Elyse’s smiling face popped into his head again, making him blush. Since he was being honest with himself, it was time to admit he wanted to be part of a couple, a “them” plural, with his best friend. Also being a “them” singular seemed like it could get confusing very quickly.

Skye wanted pronouns that helped people think of him not as a boy, a girl, a crowd, or a chair. But the range of “neo pronouns” that fit that bill was overwhelming in its vastness.

By now the hour was quite late and Skye found himself yawning, struggling to keep his eyes open. He wanted to go to bed, but he hated to leave when he was on such a roll of finding answers to all the questions that had been bothering him. The perfect pronouns were surely just past the next link.

Just then Meelee jumped up on his desk and firmly demanded he switch his focus to her. Turning to give her the snuggles she was asking for he suddenly realized that changing his pronouns would mean asking other sims to use those pronouns.

He knew he wanted to stop being defined by any gender, but how would his parents and friends react? Would they accept his new identity?

Skye’s anxiety overwhelmed him again at the thought of possibly being rejected by those closest to him. “What do you think girl?” he asked his cat, snuggling her tighter “Will they understand?” Meelee didn’t answer, but her deep purr of satisfaction made him feel a little better just the same.

Skye went to bed that night with a bunch of new, exciting information swirling around in his head.

As he fell asleep, he could only hope the sims he cared about most would care enough about him to love him more than their ideas about gender.

As always, I let Skye discover their own gender/identity with the LGBTQIA+ mod when they aged up. The gender-neutral name I choose for them turned out to be a lucky coincidence 😊*.*

I’ll reveal Skye’s chosen pronouns tomorrow. From that point forward when Skye is referring to themself or I am referring to them in the 3**rd person I will use their preferred pronouns, and I will do my best to write using gender neutral language when others refer to them prior to learning about their new gender identity.

However, I suspect there will be times before they come out that they will be misgendered by sims that do not know; so, my apologies for that in advance.