#i guess she had enough 😭😭
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i was doing a dungeon with trust right now trying to figure out why y'shtola was Last on the aggro table and when i looked at her she was standing by the boss, not casting and hitting it with her staff
#i guess she had enough 😭😭#i need a text post tag#also it looked like she was casting something on me at one point#idk she did her little casting motion and then some green light went from her to cori#but idk if that's real or something from dnc?? bc she was my dance partner#but i've never seen it before this dungeon and the battle log and also the tool tips are not helping me#anyway. i did a gpose earlier and now i think im going to remake it aklsdf#also dnc is at 100 and alphi/shtola/thancred are at 97!!
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ok guys so i applied for an archivist internship at my college right. and during the interview the head archivist lady asked me why i became interested in archiving and i was like “okay so there’s this podcast…..” and she went “THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES?” and i went “yeah ☹️”
anyways i finally heard back and i got the internship !!!!! can’t wait to start the apocalypse….
#the magnus archives#tma#haven’t posted in forever sorry guys !i have been keeping up with tmp but i haven’t had any coherent enough thoughts to post 😭#ANYWAYS i can’t believe i got the job i literally thought it was so over the second she mentioned tma. Do i really look that gay 😿😿😿#she didn’t even actually seem that familiar with tma I just guess she’s heard about it a lot ? Respect !
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The Sheep in Wolf's Clothing Onia Dhithos - -
"I will pull at my horns and bruise my flesh until I am born anew, my chest is too warm, I spew warm honey where I want muck. tar. I want to bear the teeth that my father and mother bore. These teeth are not sufficient. I want a bite, and I want it to be more than my words. I want to bite. I want to be the Wolf."
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[ Alt. ver. under the cut ] B/As
#TheWolf:OniaD*#Sheep:OniaD#ts4#ts4 render#ts4 simblr#sims 4#sims 4 simblr#sims 4 render#simblr#render#blender render#idk i forgot how this whole tagging system thing works with original content LMFKDSJH its been a hot minute#uhhhhmmmmm yea eat up i guess. Onia Dhithos introduction. Ive been wanting to introduce her for a longgg time but#never had a render idea for her (or at least I did but it never looked good shdghs)#also if u cant tell (prolly cant) shes literally bent backwards upside down in the first/last pose AHGSHA so yea shes in a freak ass pose r#Onia is def one of my favs but is criminally underrated/not talked abt enough (which is my fault LMFAOOO)#welp time to go back into creative hibernation for the next *checks watch* foreseeable future#I WAS gna try and do something else but google drive fucking hates me >:T#this is def gna flop but whatevs SJHGDHSJ its kinda cringe and simple anyways but i. love Onia. so its worth it. ig? 😭
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gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow
#life update if anyone gaf we're now at the point where i know i'm getting the adhd diagnosis and yet i STILL HAVE TO WAIT#like she just isnt sure if it's adhd or add (its norway theyre not gonna update the terms any time soon just roll with it)#and im just like. girl i don't give a fuck#its been so many years i cant do this anymore#we've talked to my fucking kindergarten teachers like 😭 they've investigated my entire life atp#to make sure i did in fact have all these issues from birth#because my word and my mum's word just isn't good enough i guess#like lets rely on the selective memories of random ass people ive encountered growing up this is ASININE#anyway my godmother had a 4h consultation the other day and got diagnosed on the spot#so now my mum is mad at her LMFAO#cause my mum's like. that bitch doesn't even have adhd. shes fine.#which i feel like is probably wrong but i agree with the sentiment#where is the deep dive investigation into her wholeass existence 😭#its cause she got to go private but they refuse to refer me to a private specialist so i have to keep going publuc#public#and if i go private on my own its too expensive plus the waitlist is years long#so. whatever. i guess.#man im so tired.#i will never ever ever forgive my psychiatrist from when i was 15 who said i probably had adhd but because i did ok in school its fine#and they wouldnt set the diagnosis#because the fact that i have papers from when i was 15 saying i don't have it is what's making this all so difficult#even though if you read all the papers it says i hit on EVERY SINGLE POINT#which is why the One Psych who listened to me is absolutely fuming losing her mind cause she can't understand why any of this happened#man i hate my fucking life lol
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sorry for being edgy on main but i still genuinely don't get how most people aren't suicidal??? is it denial. ik my mom isn't suicidal bc she just constantly escapes reality however she can and ik my brother has an abundance of distractions going on at all times (also he's like stoned 24/7). is that how everyone does this. is it even possible to be present and not want to die
#gave these two as an example bc ik the rest of my immediate family has at least had suicidal thoughts in their life 😭#after her first birth my sister did this evaluation thingie and she was asked if she has suicidal thoughts#and she replied 'sometimes? like everyone has' and the nurse did Not like that 😭#and she is like seemingly the happiest or most chill of us which says a lot lol#my brother says his kids are more or less the only reason he isn't killing himself. so.#like you can probably see. why my view may be skewed. which i assume it is bc if everyone on earth was suicidal things would've been. well-#but genuinely HOWWWWWWW the world is always so shitty and everything is hopeless??? there isn't enough good to justify all the bad#genuine question idgi!!!! i truly do not 😭😭😭 this feels like the only emotional reaction that makes sense in a situation like this#suicide //#negative //#i GUESS#sorry for all the edge. i should probably go to sleep lol
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Do you think Vi and Minnie were still dating when Minnie and Sophie got captured or do you think things were going awry and they broke up before the twins got captured?
they were definitely still dating i dont think we have any reason to believe they werent? like im p sure all evidence points to dating. but i definitely think their relationship was awry at that point, and they were just in a weird middle zone, at least on minnies side. minnie definitely had her frustrations if her words to vi in the woods are anything to go by, and i think violet also not having a response to it and instead just retreating says something about her/their relationship
i do think violet loved minnie and just wanted to make her happy (even if in doing so gave herself the "short end of the stick" in the relationship), and violet seeing minnie as the fish i think says a lot about how positively she viewed her (and i think her getting so flustered at clem saying shes the fish is because those are secretly traits she aspires to, but has yet to recognize in herself). i think minnies behavior towards a kidnapped violet shows us she still cares about her too even if things werent perfect. so if minnie had never been kidnapped, i dont think they wouldve ever actually split up, even if the relationship was turbulent.
what Really causes them to split is the change in the person minnie has become. violet (grief stricken and blaming herself), does not recognize this person, and doesnt like who she sees. someone who would rather hurt the people they supposedly care about to save themselves. unfortunately a kidnapped violet learns this lesson too late
#anyway i dont think vi could have ever reached her full potential if she had stayed in a relationship with minnie#i dont think either of them were getting true fulfillment out of that relationship. for whatever reasons#but also they were best friends and cared about each other enough to Not split up before minnie “died”#ITS COMPLICATED but thats what makes it compelling!!#regardless vi DOES fall in love with clem. which makes it even More compelling. and messy 😏 i love mess#UGH theres too much to talk about when it comes to the relationships between these 3 and i think ive already done it before anyway#its unfortunate we have to guess so much about their relationship pre S4. but i think we know enough. its not that important anyway#whats important is that vi Needs to move on. and watching her character struggle with that (while also falling in love again) is compelling#(and why her shooting minnie to save clem is so satisfying (and shocking))(and why it hurts so much to break kidnapped violets heart 😭)#violet my beloved theyll never make me hate you#twdg#vinerva#replies with lexi#incognito
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Lilith deserved to get a few stomps in at the end of watching and dreaming … Thank god she got to break his nose at least 🙏feminism
#lilith. lilith ill save you😭#I feel like people don’t acknowledge enough that belos abused people other than just hunter/the guards#and lilith was one of them!!! more people should talk abt her overcoming her abuse I think its a very compelling narrative#of her un-isolating herself and un-indoctrinating herself now with the unconditional support of her family n friends (mainly her sister)#that she can fully lean on now that they know the ‘ugliest’ and most unforgivable parts of her (cursing her sister)#bc despite her capacity for cruelty they still love her#and now she can fully heal despite belos’ attempts to crawl back into her head(flora desplora) and lingering effects of that abuse in her#search from approval from luz/king/everyone etc (yes she had a desire to please beforehand bc of her upbringing but belos’ abuse ma#made it 100x worse#anyways. girl look out there’s an ugly bitch behind you!!!#Lilith clawthorne#toh#toh analysis#maybe? In the tags I guess#abuse#txt
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My mom always complaining about how I never spend time with her.... ma'am the last time we had a serious conversation you told me you thought i was making traumatic memories of my childhood up just to demonize you
#i straight up asked her ''do you really think im a liar? do you think you raised me to be a liar?'' and she said ''yeah i guess so'' 😭#literally would rather live in fantasy land than have a conversation where she takes accountability for hurting me#its always bc she had a hard life and couldve made mine harder and everything im upset about is because of a man#aint no man tried to drag me by my hair out of the room because i refused to stop talking about how uncomfortable i was with a violent man#moving in! nuh uh girl that was YOU. and aint no man busted down my door on multiple occasions to beat my ass for#*checks notes* not wanting to continue an emotional conversation after i had already started crying and wasnt able to communicate#no sir that was YOU. that was all you and aint no man was even in the house during those times#and definitely no man ever told me that i was manipulating you and being selfish for telling you that letting a man move back in after he#broke into our house and attacked you made me feel unsafe and made my life worse.#no man brought up how traumatizing ur childhood was and then threatened to send me to live with ur rapist daddy#when i said id like to spend the summer with my dad if my only alternative was living with you and a man who threw knives at your head#and tried to strangle you several times#no man fucking did those things to me. no man ever told me i wasnt allowed to be traumatized by his violent behavior bc he had it worse as a#kid. YOU said that to me. many times. every time i ever brought up my pain to you. and you still fucking do that#you sprayed windex into your mothers eyes when you were 23 during a fight but if i start yelling after you push me to talk to u#and then insult me when im honest then suddenly its ''i Never acted as bad as you did and my parents were so much worse''#no. i fucking remember girl. i was alive for that. you were a nightmare and your parents deserved it#but you werent always a peach to me and when i talk about that its not an insult its the fucking truth#and i cant come to meet you where youre at because youre no longer in the thick of a traumatic and dangerous situation#you and your man are settled down and u felt safe enough to marry him and you run the house and earn all the money#and you've done a lot of work to heal yourself and be better but that man and i had to meet you were you were at when you were at your worst#in order for you to feel safe and secure enough to start that process. and now this is Not me at my worse#i shielded and protected you from my very worst because i always felt like if you saw your kid coming undone it would hurt you#but if you cant even meet me in the middle now then we cant have the relationship you want. it would be a lie#it would be a lie and it would be a betrayal of myself. bc i cant be honest with you right now#every time i try you take it personally and we get into a fight. so dont act like my distance and privacy#is some sort of slight against you or a punishment. i am trying to keep the peace
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I just spent an hour and twenty minutes of my life laughing at The Bad Seed Returns with a friend and I'm not going to lie it was one of the most enjoyable things I've done all week lmao good show Mckenna good show
#I have so many thoughts on this lmao#like fundamentally it was absolutely god awful but my god it was entertaining#so bad it was amazing#and I genuinely enjoyed it#like sure it wasn't a masterpiece but you know what?? It was Hella entertaining#and mckenna did an excellent job acting like girl carried#she carried SO hard#everything else was beautifully abysmal though lmfaooo#anyway good time was had by all (I made my friend watch it with me)#if anyone wants to hear my very very long rant about every single argument I had with each character's decisions I WILL#kat 😭 the coffee 😭😭 why the fuck you thought it was a good idea to drink it#and so on#ANYWAY#Guess who will probably be thinking about this film for the next two weeks lmfao#fully plan on rewatching it#beautifully terrible film I loved it to hell and back#emma my beloved (weirdly enough)#cass thinks ab stuff#mckenna grace#the bad seed returns
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just recently watched this is us with my college friends
#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭#the louis clips were so not enough#ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add)#one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭#the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭#my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol#anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior#i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth#my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it#UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only?#but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼#anyw back to my review.#simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off#im from the future i Know things#<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart#i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭#it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol#they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭#they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd#i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think)#OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious#didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔#maybe... i am too much of a hater#i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔#the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭#<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/
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the worst first date ive ever been to was with a goth girl who took me (tennis skirt collector) to this underground goth club with the most anti autistic flashing lights ever and we smoked a joint together and i genuinely thought i was seeing hallucinations on the dance floor. then her friends and her drank a bucket of alcohol essentially and her friend started throwing up in the bathroom while i very sadly apologized for needing to leave (because i was hallucinating) and we kissed goodbye as her friend retched with the lung capacity of an airplane engine. i heard the album the entire night was about five minutes before. anyway kandrew
#kevin: sorry im having hallucinations :( nicky retching so hard he coughs blood:#and then i had the best uber driver ever on my way back so i guess things were meant to be#hmmm let me see. neil was kevins uber driver. (nodding sagely)#it was not my first time trying weed but it was my first time smoking in essentially a goth torture chamber#full of people dancing in strange and peculiar ways#i love the goths i believe in their beliefs but it was then i realized i did not have what it takes#and it was UNDERGROUND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. we were under the ground. it Felt like we were underground#andrew: its really underneath the ground kevin: wow :)#it was so awful all around even though she was so nice about it 😭😭😭🤏#miss dani if youre out there im sorry your friends were nice i hope their band works out#im going to a gig as soon as i remember what it was called
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fuckkk i went on a twitter rant about that one tiktoker who constantly steals tumblr posts (kirby.alice) and someone's asking me to provide proof which. is fair and i am gonna try to do that but also the person who asked is a lucemond with 'boypussy enthusiast' as their dn and i wanna block them so bad but i cant bc its gonna look like i blocked them for asking for evidence 😭 help
#.txt#its very much a 'you had to be there' situation bc like. i KNOW she steals shit word for word but i didnt keep receipts or anything#here i go spending hours on asoiaf tiktok i guess -_-#btw if anyone does have receipts. can you please give them to me#this is karma for talking shit about lucemonds they are now haunting me#their latest tweet is about 'criston hatefucking luke' I want to die#when will i be free of them 😭 i thought they all blocked me but i guess not 😔#edit ok crisis averted I managed to show enough evidence (2 tumblr posts)
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bg3 is crazy for being a massive $70 larian + wotc collab game whose accessibility menu features subtitles that are present for less than half of all idle character dialogue and almost zero battle dialogue
#succ speaks#not to be the 'paizo wouldn't let this happen' guy but god this is actually insane#like why even have an accessibility menu at that point? i'd rather watch a youtube video with automatic captions#same energy as devs complaining that everyone was making their pcs a white human guy in early access while they had no asian human options#like bro i just want to know what bestie karlach is saying but if u make her mumble with no captions even tho i have subtitles on#tf am i supposed to do.....🤨😡😭💀#baldur's gate 3 is fun but this is pissing me off. like i'm prob not gonna keep playing this solo & only play online with friends#it's fun but. not fun enough to mimic the actual wacky bullshit i do with charisma rogues and bards in dnd or pf#i think i'm also used to having real humans around for ttrpg antics and dynamic character interactions so bg3 feels bland in comparison lol#also because irl i can ask people to repeat what they just said 🙃🙃🙃#joining the mob by accident was admittedly funnier in bg3 than it was in dnd though considering i stumbled into the base out of nowhere#i guess it just falls under ny philosophy that dnd is most fun when wotc has zero actual say in what happens and what we can do 👍#however as much as pf > dnd...bg3 > kingmaker. i think pathfinder is just to true of a ttrpg to adapt into a video game super well#like. the writing in wotr was WAY better than bg3 but still sometimes bad enough to be infuriating ESPECIALLY in regards to iomedae#but the weird ass iomedae stuff is also true in the adventure path itself and plenty of other people have complained about it#but hey at least in wotr the subtitles told me what she was saying every time she spoke 👍#wotr was still rly fun tho no hate to the game in general this is a quick slam of being pissed at bg3 again 🙏🙏
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...💇♀️
#so i went to the hairdresser's in september to get a trim after over a year of having NOTHING done to my hair#it was in suuuuuuuuch a poor condition but i loved how long it had gotten so i suffered through the summer#i just wasn't ready to say goodbye to my mermaid hair 🥺#(i should've got it done in the spring but didn't because. well. life i guess lol i wasn't feeling very well maybe)#and so when i finally went to get it done i asked the hairdresser to cut only what was necessary#fair enough i went home only to notice absolutely NOTHING had happened 🙃#i thought i could live with it until maybe later in the winter but i was getting so frustrated with how lifeless and tangled my hair was 😭#so i booked a new appointment at a different hairdresser (a new one has just opened near me)#and aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh my hair looks and feels SO much more healthier now!! 😭 nearly teared up at the hairdresser's feeling my new hair 😂#but at the same time i'm a bit 🥲 because it's quite a bit shorter now 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲#it's not short per se but aaaahhhh I'm having a minor identity crisis lol (no i'm not i'm just being dramatic 💅)#but it's definitely better this way. i love my hair and i'm never ever letting it get in such a terrible condition ever again 🤧#also i'm not going back to that other place again because it wasn't the first time the same person had done barely anything to my hair 🤨#i mean. i guess they just did what i had asked but...#with all the other hairdressers there's never been any problem when i told them to ''only take what's needed''#i guess she was just too cautious to take TOO much of the length of my hair but gurl what's the point if you only take like 1 cm 😐#with ''what's needed'' i obviously mean ''enough so i won't have to come back here next month'' :\#anyway! i'm happy and keep sniffing my hair (and giving myself a headache in the process) because the products they used smell so nice 💖#pointless ramblings hi yess i'm bored by theflyingfeeling
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killing myself killing myself killing myself ki
#My mom was just talking about one of my sisters old friends whos anorexic n how she got rlly bad#n was institutionalized n shit#atp where she became anorexic I’d already been struggling for over a year but I guess I wasn’t bad enough for most people to notice#Just hearing my mom talk about it made me want tear my face off bc I will never be sick enough#like if I ever asked for help she’d say I don’t have an ed bc look at this other girl n your not like that#ahhhjh my head it just guttural desperate screeching will I ever be sick enough#Why did she have to trigger me I just had a reallly nice phone call and was happy whyyy#😭🔫#Ed shit#screaming
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Met people at the park today who I thought were cool af at first but I got humbled so bad after they left bc they were being shady as hell and I didn't pick up on it at all but my mom did
#the one girl said she was poly and i was like omg a fellow queer in the wild :(#she high fived me and asked if i wanted to go to pride and was likefuck it lets go :(#wont get into details it was exhausting but basically they were being suspicious and the high five girl#got kind of like pretty rudeonce we said we were leaving that energy i noticed just not all of it#like my sister was playing abd she said so rudely ( why are you screaming#like that was her kidor w/e i was thinking to myself like bro who are you#it was weird man#she gave me her phone number#idk if im supposed to text her now or not bc my mom was so against her entire act lol...#i was really excited too im not even going to lie#it sounded real nice to have a new friend around here.#her supposed daughter was cool too i meam she asked me about some cartoons if i had watched it#and her mo asked abt anime#idk man i thought shit was chill as soo n as they left and my mom and her bf started talkingabt it#i got bummed as hell 😭#too good to be true i guess#i dont get out enough to be used to strangers behaviors and motives andwhatever#dont hget out enough to be used to being disappointed in people#🟪.txt
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