#i guess she had enough 😭😭
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i was doing a dungeon with trust right now trying to figure out why y'shtola was Last on the aggro table and when i looked at her she was standing by the boss, not casting and hitting it with her staff
#i guess she had enough 😭😭#i need a text post tag#also it looked like she was casting something on me at one point#idk she did her little casting motion and then some green light went from her to cori#but idk if that's real or something from dnc?? bc she was my dance partner#but i've never seen it before this dungeon and the battle log and also the tool tips are not helping me#anyway. i did a gpose earlier and now i think im going to remake it aklsdf#also dnc is at 100 and alphi/shtola/thancred are at 97!!
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Oh oof I slipped and hit them with dark and serious beam. 😣
#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#Steven Universe#This had been WIP for almost a year and has been edited a bit some days ago#I did not pick up on it now to see if I can edit further though. I'm just going to leave this at that#This was inspired by a dream I had about watching a post-apocalyptic(?) anime movie about two survivors going through their lives#Apologies if that one was yapped before in this blog. Trying to keep repeating statements already mentioned before is a habit I hope to avo#Anyway. It was almost a dialogue-less movie. actually not sure if the characters did say anything#The movie doesn't explain stuff to you. You just got dropped in a world and experience with the main characters for a few days#In the dream after watching that movie I went to Tumblr (naturally. Lol) and theories about it popped out#And there was a connverse cross-over fanart of it. Lmao#One of the main characters was EXTREMELY calm and stoic. And the connverse AU version of it was that's because Steven is in a comma and his#Pink mode activated as a defense mechanism against the creatures around while in such a state. 😭 So Pink Steven from Change Your Mind#And like. Oh? What if he's conscious? He's just watching his body have a mind of it's own and he can't control it? That's kinda terrifying#And of course like most of my dreams about shows I enjoy. I woke up before I could dream more about it. 😵#my shiz#skedoobles#SU#SU AU#also implied Pink Steven I guess#pink Steven#I rage-stopped drawing this because I know what needed to be fixing but the fixing I've been doing isn't fixing it. Lol#I'm specially frustrated with Connie's bangs and eyes. And like. Man. I'm just going to stop it right there before I make it worse.#It does make sense she has a bad haircut given the dream's setting. But it was not decided that was exactly what this drawing is about.#Also I'd imagine Steven to be having a full beard if that was the case.#Anyway enough yapping I have to get some sleep. Lol#Ohmygod just realizeddd. the in-dream movie sounded like I was describing 'Angel's Egg' jshsjajdbdjfbskkd Haven't seen that film in a while#My dream's movie had a Studio Ghibli artstyle and pretty colorful. But I would actually really like the somber vibes in Angel's Egg#for this AU though. 🤔🤩🤩
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ok guys so i applied for an archivist internship at my college right. and during the interview the head archivist lady asked me why i became interested in archiving and i was like “okay so there’s this podcast…..” and she went “THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES?” and i went “yeah ☹️”
anyways i finally heard back and i got the internship !!!!! can’t wait to start the apocalypse….
#the magnus archives#tma#haven’t posted in forever sorry guys !i have been keeping up with tmp but i haven’t had any coherent enough thoughts to post 😭#ANYWAYS i can’t believe i got the job i literally thought it was so over the second she mentioned tma. Do i really look that gay 😿😿😿#she didn’t even actually seem that familiar with tma I just guess she’s heard about it a lot ? Respect !
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The Sheep in Wolf's Clothing Onia Dhithos - -
"I will pull at my horns and bruise my flesh until I am born anew, my chest is too warm, I spew warm honey where I want muck. tar. I want to bear the teeth that my father and mother bore. These teeth are not sufficient. I want a bite, and I want it to be more than my words. I want to bite. I want to be the Wolf."
- -
[ Alt. ver. under the cut ] B/As
#TheWolf:OniaD*#Sheep:OniaD#ts4#ts4 render#ts4 simblr#sims 4#sims 4 simblr#sims 4 render#simblr#render#blender render#idk i forgot how this whole tagging system thing works with original content LMFKDSJH its been a hot minute#uhhhhmmmmm yea eat up i guess. Onia Dhithos introduction. Ive been wanting to introduce her for a longgg time but#never had a render idea for her (or at least I did but it never looked good shdghs)#also if u cant tell (prolly cant) shes literally bent backwards upside down in the first/last pose AHGSHA so yea shes in a freak ass pose r#Onia is def one of my favs but is criminally underrated/not talked abt enough (which is my fault LMFAOOO)#welp time to go back into creative hibernation for the next *checks watch* foreseeable future#I WAS gna try and do something else but google drive fucking hates me >:T#this is def gna flop but whatevs SJHGDHSJ its kinda cringe and simple anyways but i. love Onia. so its worth it. ig? 😭
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no bc i'm actually lowkey terrified at the idea of joost coming to spain
#like hear me out i wanna see him SOOO BAD and i wouldnt wanna miss it for the world but like#ive always told myself there's no way i wouldn't be going even if i had to travel far and go by myself#but yeah realistically....ive never gone to a concert by myself and the thought is TERRIFYING LMFAO#my friend likes a couple of his songs but idk if she likes him enough to want to come w me yk????#also moshpits are scary and esp seeing how so many people in germany had bad experiences/got injured....yeah 😭#anyway i guess id still try my best to be able to go bc id regret it if i didnt but yeah#very scary all around 🥲#like im not ready for that to happen jajdbahs#raquel speaks
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@midnaurs im struggling to find the other source this is the only one i can find (which is not particularly reliable given that they call him a french poodle) but i swear the other one said one of the gaffers found him on top of a wall and he couldn’t get down?? which was rly cute and i wish i could find it :,) anyways that one was more about how miserable she was on set and needed him constantly
#so i guess both happened and him getting run over wasn’t on set which is good but obviously atill so waa bc she loved him so fucking much#I really wanted to say it was barry paris's biography but i just checked and it isnt so i have no clue where it cam efrom..#the fact she had him on TRANQUILIZERS to calm him down is so fucking funny to me#like her emotional support animal to help her anxiety had so much anxiety she needed to drug him to calm him down enough to calm her down 😭#audrey hepburn
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waugh …
#excited but also scared . pdjdkdbkd#iiiiii’m kind of worried about how they’re going to handle her character 💀#like it makes sense that she would feel conflicted after . seeing you know what#and it’s already been established that she views herself as a murderer#but ehhh …. i’m just not really here for . ’yuno is suddenly guilty and wanted you to proclaim her as guilty all along’#idk we’ll see !!! i think they could do it good i just hope no bias shows#’i wanted you to care enough to scold me and tell me i was wrong.’ <- this line is so interesting#but i do hope it’s abt the sugardaddying in particular#it makes sense to me that yuno wanted someone to scold her for that . all along#that she wanted someone to care enough to scold her .#but god don’t let this be an ’i finally realize ……. abortion is Wrong……..’ thing 😭😭#idk idk my thoughts are scrambled . but yuno is a wonderful character and i hope t3 does her justice#i can’t help but wonder how different her headspace would’ve been if she hadn’t been forgiven#and if mahiru had been forgiven#hmmmmm . much to think about#more than anything — in this img it looks like she’s standing in front of a door :0#i guess . since this is the last trial ???#the door to the afterlife . probably#ari noises ✩#milgram spoilers
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just recently watched this is us with my college friends
#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭#the louis clips were so not enough#ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add)#one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭#the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭#my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol#anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior#i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth#my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it#UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only?#but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼#anyw back to my review.#simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off#im from the future i Know things#<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart#i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭#it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol#they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭#they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd#i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think)#OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious#didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔#maybe... i am too much of a hater#i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔#the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭#<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/
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the worst first date ive ever been to was with a goth girl who took me (tennis skirt collector) to this underground goth club with the most anti autistic flashing lights ever and we smoked a joint together and i genuinely thought i was seeing hallucinations on the dance floor. then her friends and her drank a bucket of alcohol essentially and her friend started throwing up in the bathroom while i very sadly apologized for needing to leave (because i was hallucinating) and we kissed goodbye as her friend retched with the lung capacity of an airplane engine. i heard the album the entire night was about five minutes before. anyway kandrew
#kevin: sorry im having hallucinations :( nicky retching so hard he coughs blood:#and then i had the best uber driver ever on my way back so i guess things were meant to be#hmmm let me see. neil was kevins uber driver. (nodding sagely)#it was not my first time trying weed but it was my first time smoking in essentially a goth torture chamber#full of people dancing in strange and peculiar ways#i love the goths i believe in their beliefs but it was then i realized i did not have what it takes#and it was UNDERGROUND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. we were under the ground. it Felt like we were underground#andrew: its really underneath the ground kevin: wow :)#it was so awful all around even though she was so nice about it 😭😭😭🤏#miss dani if youre out there im sorry your friends were nice i hope their band works out#im going to a gig as soon as i remember what it was called
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fuckkk i went on a twitter rant about that one tiktoker who constantly steals tumblr posts (kirby.alice) and someone's asking me to provide proof which. is fair and i am gonna try to do that but also the person who asked is a lucemond with 'boypussy enthusiast' as their dn and i wanna block them so bad but i cant bc its gonna look like i blocked them for asking for evidence 😭 help
#.txt#its very much a 'you had to be there' situation bc like. i KNOW she steals shit word for word but i didnt keep receipts or anything#here i go spending hours on asoiaf tiktok i guess -_-#btw if anyone does have receipts. can you please give them to me#this is karma for talking shit about lucemonds they are now haunting me#their latest tweet is about 'criston hatefucking luke' I want to die#when will i be free of them 😭 i thought they all blocked me but i guess not 😔#edit ok crisis averted I managed to show enough evidence (2 tumblr posts)
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to knowis to be loved and to be known is to b eloved. I want transgender friends who will know me and love me in a way that cis people usually do not
#getting floored by transgendered feelings tonight. I went full femme last night in a way that I haven’t in a long time and it really made#it clear that what I enjoy about looking feminine is the ATTENTION. PEOPLE PAY SO MUCH GODDAMN ATTENTION TO PRETTY WOMEN#I will fully admit that I love getting positive attention for my looks irl. Like I’m not really pretty unless I#put a lot of effort into makeup and clothes so getting compliments on my clothes/appearance is like crack cocaine#which is not healthy. I don’t WANT to care about what I look like#but tbh one of the reasons I enjoyed cosplaying so much is that I got all that attentiob without the requisite feminity. Hahaha hhhhhhh#Last night as I was putting myself together for the charity dinner I felt like I was dressing up a doll. FULL out-of-body barbie vibes#I’m so disconnected from feminine feelings right now. But at the same time I had so much fun being pretty and getting compliments#idk. I don’t even know how to feel. I’m so goddamned tired of all this#if I could beam a perfect understanding of gender fluidity into the brains of everyone I meet I would have come out YEARS ago#I just don’t want to be alienated any more than I already am from the people around me#living in the us south means suffering alone in transness I guess.#I don’t want to be the first genderfluid/nonbinary person EVERYONE has ever met. I don’r want to have to justify my existence#but this cannot go on. but I’m afraid of T. I don’t want to go bald 😭#and I still want to wear dresses from time to time#maybe the solution is becoming a lolita lifestyler. dress myself up as a doll every day for the fucking compliments#leave no room for dissatisfaction with feminity. FUCK#I NEED A GENDER THERAPIST WORSE THAN ANYTHING#BUT IT’S THE SOUTH AND THE NEAREST ONE TO ME IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY#AND she’s out of network. FUCK#anyway I watched an episode of the new f*llout show and it was pretty good 😊#AND I’m playing st*rdew valley again on the new update and the update IS SO FUN#<-lil media update to lighten up this post.#this post was typed up not from a place of despair but from a place filled with the same emotions that a dog chasingits owntail experiences#I’m doing well enough mentally that I can deal with my transgender feelings again yknow. maslows heirarchy of needs with m#with transgender feelings at the top#weekend whining
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Met people at the park today who I thought were cool af at first but I got humbled so bad after they left bc they were being shady as hell and I didn't pick up on it at all but my mom did
#the one girl said she was poly and i was like omg a fellow queer in the wild :(#she high fived me and asked if i wanted to go to pride and was likefuck it lets go :(#wont get into details it was exhausting but basically they were being suspicious and the high five girl#got kind of like pretty rudeonce we said we were leaving that energy i noticed just not all of it#like my sister was playing abd she said so rudely ( why are you screaming#like that was her kidor w/e i was thinking to myself like bro who are you#it was weird man#she gave me her phone number#idk if im supposed to text her now or not bc my mom was so against her entire act lol...#i was really excited too im not even going to lie#it sounded real nice to have a new friend around here.#her supposed daughter was cool too i meam she asked me about some cartoons if i had watched it#and her mo asked abt anime#idk man i thought shit was chill as soo n as they left and my mom and her bf started talkingabt it#i got bummed as hell 😭#too good to be true i guess#i dont get out enough to be used to strangers behaviors and motives andwhatever#dont hget out enough to be used to being disappointed in people#🟪.txt
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🧍🏻 girl help the blood tests came back and I do possibly have pre-hypothyroidism. They want me to come back in 3 months to do another panel just in case bc smth was apparently way way too high 😭 wtf !!
#I don’t know what they’ll do if it’s confirmed I mean. I mean they confirmed my levels are high but maybe it’s a fluke 😭 PLSS if that’s#actually fr a reason or contributing factor to my mental stuff I will lose it I don’t want another diagnosis I have enough shit wrong!!!#enoughhhhh like stoppp ittttt 😂 please. ☹️#I am also going to …book an appointment w a disability lawyer#I once again quit a job after 2 days 😔#but I’m alive! I survived a level 10 brain crisis . I can’t keep getting jobs and then having huge horrible week long meltdowns over them#it’s disability or bust!!!! if the lawyer tells me it’s not realistic and she doesn’t think I’ll get it idk 😭#but like. I’m not able to work rn. I can’t keep lying and downplaying it and then spending weeks recovering after meltdowns#it’s not sustainable!!!! it cannot continue!!!!#literally nervously admitted to my sister how bad it actually is and saying it out loud was so hard and embarrassing but…#I promised the crisis hotline lady I’d get help and tell my support system that I need help. I will not let her down 🫡 I will get help#if I have to drag myself. which I will .#lol…(pained) I rly hope the lawyer takes me seriously 😐#medical talk#sanchoyorambles#actually thyroid issues run in the family my grandma has thyroid issues!!! I’ve gone w her to a specialist that’s like 3 hours away!!!#maybe I shouldn’t be surprised but I genuinely am I am like wtf!! bro !!#I mean tbf I’ve had anxiety forever like even as a very small child so I don’t think that’s the ONLY reason but if it’s contributing…🔫#I don’t even kno how they’d treat that I will look it up I guess 🧍🏻
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Well. my new library does not have libby. i think i've gotta go to my local library and volunteer to cover my fee or some shit. ���� idk why but after being told i don't have to pay like 5 times, i'm noooot paying that fee. i'm simply physically incapable, i'd genuinely prefer cleaning or facing books or basically anything. sigh. but i did get hoopla and kanopy and like 7 other services, wahoooo.
#and maybe 3d printing services which i mostly don't give a fuck about but i do want a dispenser for my floss stick sooo#i guess that's kinda cool#potentially#adam yaps#i was telling the librarians that at my local library they would likely have to pay $5 for a card bc idt they'd be considered local enough#and one of the librarians said do you have libby???? and i said oh yeah ofc#and that was when she broke the news to me 😭#turns out she hasn't had libby since the libraries stopped their pandemic accessibility practices & she misses it :/// girl me too tf
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worked an hour extra bc they have no respect for my half day but I knew they were gonna do that so whatever..... at least I'm omw home now
#they told me i only had 4 samples so it would be fine for me to book a half day and internally i rolled my eyes bc ik it wouldnt be 4#and lo and behold i get in at 7:30 and theyve put 9 samples in the schedule for me. called it#actually its an hour and a half extra i worked i forgot i start earlier now. well whatever ive removed next weeks scheduled overtime from#the calendar bc ive worked more than enough this week to cover the hours. idc if they expect me to stay ill just walk out#unless they agree! to pay me back the time!#a bit jealous of my friend bc theyre giving him shift bonus for fucking around with his hours so much. altho tbf he has it way worse#and i cant get the bonus anyway even if they did fuck me around that much bc my depts pay isnt calculated as shift hours#god and get this just before i left someone put a FOUR HOUR LONG MEETING in my calendar for next tues#my brother in christ i will be leaving at 3 like it says on my outlook i am not staying 2 bloody hrs longer to sit in a room with u pricks#im gonna ask on mon if i can just start 2-3hrs later on tues bc ik itll run over and im not staying from 7:30-6pm are u fucking kidding me#I DONT WORK SHIFT HOURS. I SHOULDNT BE IN FOR LONGER THAN 8 HOURS EVER#alsoooooo my boss put a thing in my calendar for monday that takes DAYS plus requires me to bring in shit from outside work#but she didnt specify the process or mention it to me so idek what i need to bring. well thats mondays problem#okay work rant over now i dont have to think abt it for 2 whole days.....tgif 😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨#im just feeling shite bc ive started ovulating today too which i can specifically tell bc of the sharp fucking pain i get from it#bc my lymph nodes fucking hate it i dont know whats wrong with meeeeee lalallaalala#cant wait for my period to start in two weeks at least ill probably have to call in sick so i wont have to go into work 😍#this is the shite part of my cycle itll get worse and worse until my period and then once that ordeals over ill get a week of not being#in pain so just holding out for that i guess.#WHATEVERRRRR. im going to download severance and go buy chocolate. and then watch a romance movie with a miserable ending#maybe even 2 movies. and then go to bed at like 8pm probably this week has been a million years long 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#.diaries
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I just got out of my first online lecture after having avoided them the whole way through covid one way or another and god damn. They really put my deadname in bold, capital letters. I'll never be known as anything else.
#except for this one guy who didnt know i had a deadname and texted into the PUBLIC CHAT#“yo wheres ozzie?!?!?! i was just talking to them”#YOU HAVE MY NUMBER BRO 😭#anyways my lecturer loves me because i asked engaging questions 🤞#she told me to stay curious#also my face is red even though no one was looking at me#the fact that i had to talk was enough for my body to go sauna mode i guess#it was alright though in the end#not sw related
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