#it was not my first time trying weed but it was my first time smoking in essentially a goth torture chamber
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smoke sesh at casa sponge
#this was supposed to be just spongebob and patrick but i got carried away and wanted to draw more characters#maybe mr krabs and plankton can smoke together next 🤗#anyways#ive been wanting to make this piece for a while but ive tried like 9 times#the first try was a sculpture i never finished bc it broke. many sketches many drawing attempts but here we are!#art#my art#spongebob#spongebob squarepants#patrick star#squidward tentacles#sandy cheeks#weed#i like drawing cartoon characters smoking its an age old tradition of what could be autistic people
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"Got my pig, got my weed, got my water t' hydrate so ah' ain't dyin' straight. Guess ah'll be around."
#ic commentary#gonna try to work on things#fun fact: i dont smoke weed at all#but per my therapist's suggestion i'm trying it for extreme needs#so this is like my second time being high (last night was the first)#so if i say something weird just...ignore me#im such a baby yet my baby is an addict like help
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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it’s not that deep it’s not that deep it’s not that deep meanwhile i am imagining confrontations in my head
#and it’s not even that deep!!! it’s the fucking principle!!!!!!#it’s my friends gf refusing to pay me back for all the weed she’s taken from me and my friend#i let her have a whole fucking joint!! which granted i shouldn’tve done but she ASKED and im bad at saying no to people but she shouldn’t#have fucking asked in the first place!! she treats our weed as if it’s some fucking communal thing as if me and my friend (not the one that#she’s dating) didn’t pay for it!!! and like that’s not to mention all the times she’s smoked w us and had loads and FIVE QUID IS SO SO SO#REASONABLE!!!! so reasonable!!! literally even her gf told me that five quid is reasonable!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!!#but also as i say it’s not that deep…. it’s literally a fiver…… im fuming…… she’s my worst enemy#it’s not that deep!!!!!#listening to hellfire on repeat to try and calm down but i think it's having the opposite effect
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wait a minute being an artist means I can draw whatever I want forever
(selfshipping arttt whaaaat)
tbf I drew this last night but it's my 3H self insert/oc named leviathan and sylvain smoking a joint together
#robin.txt#under read more bc im always embarrassed posting art 👉👈 <- trying to be better abt it#anyways. drawing his armor for the first time... was hard#my head canon is that sylvain is the blue lions weed man so uhm yeah#also yes that's a heart shaped smoke puff it's cute <3
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the worst first date ive ever been to was with a goth girl who took me (tennis skirt collector) to this underground goth club with the most anti autistic flashing lights ever and we smoked a joint together and i genuinely thought i was seeing hallucinations on the dance floor. then her friends and her drank a bucket of alcohol essentially and her friend started throwing up in the bathroom while i very sadly apologized for needing to leave (because i was hallucinating) and we kissed goodbye as her friend retched with the lung capacity of an airplane engine. i heard the album the entire night was about five minutes before. anyway kandrew
#kevin: sorry im having hallucinations :( nicky retching so hard he coughs blood:#and then i had the best uber driver ever on my way back so i guess things were meant to be#hmmm let me see. neil was kevins uber driver. (nodding sagely)#it was not my first time trying weed but it was my first time smoking in essentially a goth torture chamber#full of people dancing in strange and peculiar ways#i love the goths i believe in their beliefs but it was then i realized i did not have what it takes#and it was UNDERGROUND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. we were under the ground. it Felt like we were underground#andrew: its really underneath the ground kevin: wow :)#it was so awful all around even though she was so nice about it 😭😭😭🤏#miss dani if youre out there im sorry your friends were nice i hope their band works out#im going to a gig as soon as i remember what it was called
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had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#AND!!!!! AND!!!!!! IVE GOT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR A SOLID WEEK!!!!!!!#i guess ill know monday if i can get high that night or tuesday but like.... i want to have one now lmao#like.... the paper i signed was more worried about being drunk on the jo#and OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt show up to my folder customer service job high off my ass..... but that thc can stay in your system for awhilw#i had one last nigbt tk celebrate the interview so idk if im even in the clear to begin with#and like.... i told them my start date would ve the 20th & im out of town vefore that so the goal is like.... they go to achedule#and we have to schedule it way out so i have time to like.....not worry & get my pee clean#like.... it wouldnt matter so much if my parents werent LEAVING this E N T I R E week... like.... this is MY vacatioj too!!!!!#and i just bought it after a horrid week 😭😭😭😭😭 worked my ass of it for it in order to relax this week#like#i know i shouldnt be dependent on it and im really trying not to ve#but the anti-anxiety relaxing of it all helps so much#and im reeeeeally not the biggest fan of drinking....i pee too much 😭😭😭😭😭 ironically 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like.... at this point.... its like..... do i care about getting this job more than i care about letting my brain and body relax this week#i always put myself first & listen to my heart & soul to dictate what to do#but my mind just keeps thinking about getting that failed drug test back and going back to the job hunt#but im still IN the job hi t#*hunt#AND HERES THE THING!!!! walking around that damn office.... seeing what people were wearing.....#its professional but i know damn well theres people in there smoking weed#like.... 25 of the 50 employees i saw showed up in casual loungepants these people are not prestigious#and like.... the paper i signed.... they didnt even edit to include the company name????#it kept saying “the Company will not like you to drink on the clock and assumes you will not get behind company vechiles drunk either”#like.... tooooootally understandable i just wanna eat some edibles before im an official employee of your folder business my loves#let me have a 50mg and zone out for the night while im finally free from all these losers..... PLEASE#anyways......personal problems that my brain needs to expel so it doesnt tumble all around for the next few houes#WHILE I DOORDASH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck me#like..... i got this interview through indeed ill just keep going till i cant if it fails
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i love art, im very grateful for adderall for gifting me with the executive function, ease of prioritization, and clearness of thought <3
#seriously a blessing in my burnout recovery#i think i had 2 burnouts really#1st when i was 12 i burnt out academically#and fell into other hyperfixations like homestuck and anime#n cartoons also socially burnt after my friends got annoyed w myhyperfixes but got close w my husband which helped/distracted from burnout#then i did again injjjjunior year i would say#i was burnt out creatively and socially and i hated band for the first time and i met my first AP class that i couldnt just coast through#because we had to do checked notes and DAMN im grateful for that teacher!!!!!!!!!!!#genuinely led to me learning how to take notes on text when i never had to before#but i literally cried. because spent HOURSSS the first few times trying to do my notes before a classmate told me theres a website that#summarized the book#which helped a lot#but it was the first time since suspecting i have Something other than depression/anxiety that i was SURE i had adhd#it kinda just clicked so i got on a nonstimulant that helped a bit but had shitty physical symptoms that got worse as i got older#i was on it forrrr like 2 or 3 years before i stopped taking it#but i also got on a 504 which gave me deadline flexibility which like#great yknow finishing out junior and senior year medicated woo#but senior year last semester i had terrible senioritis lol#which i now realize was that 2nd burnout#and literally from march 2020 to the end 2022 i barely talked to anyone or engaged on any level with most people other than smoking weed#and being a therapist#and my beautiful wonderful husband ofc but we kinda enabled each other lmao#but yknow that gap of time when my locale cared about covid and stuff was just not going on i really recovered#i didnt draw much or do much hobbywise#i did probably too much weed and not too much but Quite a Damn Lot of acid#(which.. idk who follows me now... but acid isnt a evil scary drug it is not physically harmful and wholly dependent on mindset)#and i worked a lot#but... i quit my job at the end of 2022. which kinda directly correlates with me reconnecting with my friend group#and reconnecting with them... i decided to go back to college#re realized the path for my passion for psychology lies in academia and i LIKE that
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I’m just so tired
#I saw this video earlier today and it’s all I can think about now#been trying to find a full time job so hopefully I can move and start living my life#but what’s the point?#I know I won’t be able to afford anything#unless I work 3+ jobs and devote all my time to working#I’m just so fucking tired#it’s beyond just my body and mind being tired#my soul is exhausted#I just feel hopeless cause so many of us are struggling#and then the fucking 1% is living it up with so much money that they don’t know what to fucking do with it all#I saw something that said we are going to have our first TRILLIONAIRE soon#that is a million million…………#how can someone sleep at night knowing they are hoarding so much money and so many people are struggling#so many people can’t afford rent or food or the BASIC necessities#when the 1% are buying multiple houses and yachts and flying to the moon#I’m just so tired#and the sad part is it’s never going to change#those people are always going to hoard the money#our government isn’t going to do jack shit to help#I’m gonna go smoke some weed and hopefully ignore life for a bit#tiktok#shut up rosie
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Strain - Where's my bike?
#weed#420#marihuana#strain#wheres my bike#kush#my pic#trying this strain for the first time just now#i kid you not#it tastes like the dentist office#not in a bad way tho#utena manga becuase she a queen#good smokes ✌️#stoner#stoned#smoking#psycodelic
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the thing with lying to teenagers is that if you tell them an obvious lie to stop them from doing something and said teen can easily verify that you were lying. itll make them want to do it more
#when i was in hs my mom told me that bc im psychotic that if i smoked weed once i would die#which honestly made me want to try it even more and within a month of her saying that was the first time i smoked weed
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okay wait but after yesterday at funeral home to discuss grandpa's service
what if my cousin really does bring marijuana and just sprinkles it in the incense sensor and everyone attending the service just gets high like idk that could be interesting even tho i know my uncle and his wife would throw a fit lol
#eprika rambles#i like to preface that i don't do weed and never had an edible before#but it would be very interesting for my first time at trying weed is through secondhand smoke at grandpa's funeral#and also incredibly hilarious
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#didn't get high when smoking with my friend's friends#I'm gonna get a bad grade in weed#which is both normal to want and possible to achieve#but i did try it for the first time#so there's that
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had a positively divine experience last night
#if you don't like drug use this post is not. for you. sorry.#but i went to a little dance that a youth center was having in my vicinity so i ended up going with a couple of friends to check it out#and. it wasn't very good. but we got to pick some of the music and it was just us and a few other people really. and a friend of mine#recognized someone from a different party he went to and we all ended up ditching it to go to a thrift store for a while and browse#before going back and getting some naloxone kits and then ditching (again) to go smoke weed in an adjacent park#she was really nice to meet and i saw another friend try weed for the first time and i got to take a few hits off a bubbler. it was really#nice. we just kind of talked and hung around for an hour before all going home because it was dark#i want a bong now. i liked it. first try was bad (inhaled too much) but the rest were fine if not actually quite nice :)
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so a very large house spider turned up in the bathtub and it was not a good experience for me because the last time a very large house spider turned up in that tub was four years ago and it triggered a severe panic attack/meltdown that ended in me cutting off part of my own hair with a pair of craft scissors. so that was fun
#coco speaks#personal#spider mention#admittedly during said meltdown I was already having a very bad trip (yay for paranoia!)#I had also just broken up with my then-boyfriend-ish for the last time because I was trying to get my life back together#and I'd been cheated on about four months prior by a girl who I'd been overwhelmingly in love with#or rather cheated with. and then her girlfriend (who she used me to cheat on) was so insecure she copied my haircut#so I'd gone back to screwing around with this guy I used to party with when I was in high school#he was three years older than me and I couldn't tell you the first thing about him but he was a very good rebound fling#but it wasn't the first time I'd rebounded with him and I had this moment of realising that I didn't want this to be my life#anyway I was overwhelmed and my parents were out of the country and I'd smoked too much weed the night before#and the spider in the bathtub when I went to wash my hair was the straw that broke the camel's back
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Chronic pain really got me going to bed before it’s even dark out (also my little pink unicorn lights Millie got me look so cool in the second pic)
#my back and shoulder are killing me and I’ve done nothing but smoke weed and stretch and I just hurt so bad#so I’m gonna go to bed and hopefully feel better tomorrow#I work at nine again tomorrow so if anything hopefully going to bed early helps that#I’m excited to sleep hopefully a lot and hopefully really well bc 1) weed. 2) took sleepy cough meds to try and mooch extra pain reliever#out of meds in my cabinet. 3) took a back and muscle pain Aleve (even tho I hate taking pills and it took me like three whole min to get it#down my fucking throat. 4) tired from actually using my brain and anxiety from work tired#5) period tired and chronic pain tired#like guys my brain and my body are both exhausted and the idea of getting up tomorrow and doing any of it again makes me miserable and I did#nothing but sit at a computer for three and a half hours that’s itttttt#like doing two week road-trip then non stop either emotional or physical shit every day until my first day at work#like I’m already setting myself up for this to be the summer of the grind#gonna make a bunch of money (and spend too much and blame it on the summer time and needing a little treat every time I venture out into the#heat or work a day or do anything at all) and then save a bunch all fall winter spring and once it gets colder and I feel like I can handle#my job more I want to focus on how to make moving out happen. like I need to figure out if maybe there’s somewhere I want to live that has#an Office Depot I could transfer to cause office depots are everywhere and maybe that’s an added way for me to figure out where I want to#move#hmmm okay I’m gonna lay in bed on google maps looking at Office Depot locations in New England and I’m just gonna daydream and try to fall#asleep and I’ll look at / add to my Pinterest board of house and apartment inspo#going to think about the future because I want to live !!!!#anyways yeah this is the summer of being miserable and spending all my money on bullshit and daydreaming and disappointing my mother#and also the summer of my weed tolerance doubling forever until I’m back to smoking constantly to the point where I’m making myself sick and#then I’ll get sick of smoking weed for a bit and that’ll lead me into saving money again#or force me into a tolerance break where I stop buying weed#either way I’m going to smoke all summer it’s gonna be weed and sweat and fresh fruit and laying in my room during all of my days off and it#it’s gonna suck and I’m gonna be thinking about my dad the whole time and it’ll be depressing and isolating and lonely and I’ll come out of#the summer recentered and motivated towards big goals again like I always am#and then I’ll crash and burn next spring as always. cycles continue forever thank u seasonal depression.#I want to grow up and mature in the ways I deal with myself my health and advocating for my mental health I feel like I need to grow up a#bit so I hope I do that and it feels good. I hope I make friends and I can daydream about the future every night and my room will smell like#weed and incense and sweat and love and tears and it will be incredible
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