#i guess if they're pulling out we'll here before then

[misctf]

Change Your Tune: Rick

The companion story to Occamstfs post! Had fun working on it with them!

“Damn it...” Eric grunted as he pushed through the crowd, “Calvin...”

Stick together. It wasn’t complicated. All Calvin had to do was stick with him and things would’ve worked out fine. But now? Eric was pushing through the crowd as best he could- trying desperately to find his friend amongst a sea of giggling and cheering men.

“Sorry... sorry...” Eric mumbled, as he squeezed between a bunch of scantly dressed men, “Ugh... sorry...”

The attendees were too enthralled in the trashy pop music of whoever was up on stage to really pay him much mind. Their bodies moving to the beat, clapping their hands. Eric couldn't help but overhear a conversation between two guys in the audience as he brushed past them.

“Oh Em Gee I like, totes love this song!”

“But like...I was totally not into this kind of music before.”

"Same sis! But like... live a little!"

Eric pushed past them as they made out. And as he did, he felt overwhelmed. The cheering... dancing... kissing... the music... Eric paused and took a few deep breaths. It was so hot. The summer heat, the sweaty bodies...

“I... I don’t feel good.” His vision was getting cloudy, “Someone... I don’t...” Eric swayed, his head spinning...

"Like are you okay, cutie?"

"No... I..." Eric looked up at the twink and then down at his own hands, "What?"

They were smaller, daintier. His arms smooth and hairless- the muscle he did have now more diminished. He shook his head and pulled away, lurching towards the edge of the crowd. The music beckoning to him, worming into his brain.

“Wait... no...” He could've sworn his voice was an octave higher, “Calvin... I...”

Eric stumbled and fell to the ground at the edge of the crowd. The music growing less intense. The vertigo now improved. Yet part of Eric felt a sense of longing. To go back into the crowd. To get lost in the music. He shook his head

"I need to find Calvin..." He reconfirmed to himself. He looked down at his arm- it was his arm. His voice- it was his voice, "Must've been imagining things..."

“Oh looky here! You ain’t lookin’ too hot!”

Eric looked up, his gaze met by a group of strangers. They were all smiling, all similarly dressed. One of them stepped forward and extended an arm.

“You look like you could use a hand. Musta overheated out there."

Before Eric could reply, he was hoisted up by the man, while another shoved a beer into Eric's chest.

"It ain't water but it'll help."

"I'm good." Eric replied, handing him the beer. Since when was beer considered a good way to stay hydrated? "Well, maybe it is to these rednecks." Eric thought, before clearing his throat, "I gotta find my friend. We were trying to find where North Side is playing at." He looked around, hoping he'd see Calvin so he'd be able to get away from these guys, "But I lost him and..."

"North Side! We can show ya the way." One of the men slapped him on the back, "Jus' follow us. I promise we'll get ya there."

"Oh no, I'll be fine..."

"What kinda men would we be if we didn't help a fella out." The one chimed in, "Besides, you nearly fainted on yer ass back there. Can't be too safe now."

"Yeah! And North Side passes right by ol' Blue Sky Dreamers." Another added, "God, they're great. Never been much of a country fan 'till I heard them." The others nodded in agreement.

Eric raised an eyebrow. These men hadn't been country fans? They looked like they'd been plucked out of a cornfield and dropped here.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt." Eric sighed, "Lead the way."

He followed the men, listening in on their conversation. How they droned on about guns, trucks, and beer. How Blue Sky Dreamers talked to them- resonated deep within them. Their southern accents deep and carefree, their breaths smelling of whiskey and cigarettes. Eric felt out of place- uncomfortable even. He had no interest in getting to know these kinds of people... these...

"Ain't that just lovely." The men stopped, causing Eric to pause, "Ya hear that boys?"

Eric's ears perked up. The sound of a banjo, a fiddle, and harmonica whispered in his ears. Distant but ever present. It was... nice... calming... Eric shook his head and looked over to a crowd of men in cowboy hats, all swaying to the beat of Blue Sky Dreamers.

"I reckon that's the most beautiful thing I ever did hear." He watched as his guides walked towards the crowd.

"Hey, wait!" Eric called out, following behind them, "I still need... huh?" A cool breeze tickled Eric's exposed chest and he recoiled at the sensation, "What in the..."

He hadn't been wearing that. Had he? Since when was he wearing jeans? Since when did his shirt get so dirty? He looked up to see the men from earlier blending in with the crowd, disappearing into the sea of cowboys. He bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair, only to knock his cap to the ground.

"Ain't no way..." He stared at the cap lying in front of him, "I could'a... could have..." He corrected himself, "Sworn I was wearing a bandana." He reached down and picked the cap up, securing it back on his head, "Okay... North Sky... No that's not..."

Eric shuddered. Since when was it so hot? The summer sun beat down on him and the crowd of people certainly didn't help. The shirt he was wearing was soaked, covered in sweat. And with a grunt, he pulled it off and threw it to the dirt ground below.

"Fuck, what the hell?" Eric's eyes widened as he looked down at his lean pecs and toned abs, "I ain't usually..." His voice cracked as he ran a hand through the sparse, new chest hairs that appeared on his increasingly more tanned chest, "What in tarnation..."

And then he heard it. More clearly now. The music. It was filling his ears... filling him... It felt so freeing- each strum of the banjo, each word accented by a southern twang. Eric stepped forward, the crowd opening up around him to let him in.

"Well, ain't this the best dang music ya ever did hear?"

"I never reckoned I'd fall in love with country music."

"I ain't never felt a song hit me this hard."

eRic's mind was swimming with each step deeper into the crowd. His mind's eye filling with new images... an old farmhouse.... swaying corn... sweating after a long day's work... flickering fireflies... a bonfire.... beer... laughter... his truck...

"No stop... I gotta..." eRic swayed, bumping into the other men around him. Their bodies, made sturdy from working on their farms, prevented Eric from escaping, "Please... Calvin... help..."

eRic gasped... he could taste whisky on his breath... feel his muscles contracting and relaxing... He realized how closely packed to the other men he was. But not because they had gotten closer. No... he realized with increasing dread that he was bigger. His body thickening with firm muscle. His chest swelling into a pair of mighty pecs. Hairs sprouting from his crotch, across his abs, and over his chest like a blanket.

"Let me out... I gotta..."

But the men wouldn't budge- captivated by the music. And the song. Oh god the song was so loud... Reverberating in his head, worming into his brain. eRic could feel the sweat dripping from his increasingly rougher skin... an itchiness as stubble sprouted into a short beard. His arms thickened with muscle, blanketed by manly fur. But his attention shifted, even as his body continued to shift and change. His eyes focused on the stage, where Blue Side Dreamers continued to play.

"Well, I'll be! I could sit here an’ listen to these fellas ‘til the cows come home." Ric grinned, his foot tapping along to the beat, "What in tarnation was I thinkin’ not likin’ country music before?" He spoke, unbothered by the twang of his new southern accent.

He didn't know how long they kept playing. His body swayed to the beat... his mind elsewhere...

"Well, that’s a wrap, y’all! Mighty appreciate ya joinin’ us today, and we’ll be seein’ ya next year. Y’all be sure to grab our new album, now—don’t go missin’ out!"

Reality slammed into Rick and he shuddered as he returned to a state of full awareness. He looked around at the other men- men like him... proud country guys.... like himself.... born and raised...

"Hey Rick, didn’t you say you was wantin’ to go see that other band?"

A voice cut through the crowd and Rick grinned when he saw the men from earlier. He placed a hand to his cowboy hat and shrugged.

"I reckon I’m alright now—can’t even imagine wantin’ to hear nothin’ else after this!" A grin formed on his face, "But I could go for a nice cold one fellas!"

The group walked off, laughing and patting each other on the back. Rick ignoring a sign for North Side as he headed off towards the exit with his new friends to his new life.

EPILOGUE

Rick sighed as he walked up to the bar, quickly ordering another shot of whisky and a beer. He glanced over at the group of good ol’ boys he’d been shooting the shit with all night - Jeb, Cletus, and Earl. They were all decked out in checkered shirts, faded jeans, and ball caps. Just like him now. It still felt so natural, even if some part of him couldn’t quite put his finger on what exactly seemed…off about the whole situation.

“Why do I feel like I’m just actin’ a part?“ he wondered to himself, frowning slightly, "Like I’m wearing someone else’s skin." 

Shaking his head, he tried to push the strange thoughts aside. Where were these thoughts coming from? Where else would he want to be? He was just a good ol’ boy enjoying a cold one with the boys after a kick-ass country concert. His thoughts were interrupted as a new song started playing in the bar. Rick knew this song… knew this band… a small smile gracing his lips.

"North Side.” He muttered, his foot tapping to the beat of the music, “Well I’ll be…”

He felt a wave of nostalgia wash over him- a yearning for something he couldn’t quite understand in his slower mind. And as the music continued to strum at some past memory, the redneck couldn’t help but notice the striking Latino man with soulful eyes and a captivating smile, clearly enjoying the song as much as he was. 

“Well, would ya look at that.” Rick muttered under his breath, “Seems like that fella’s got good taste in tunes, at least.”

Compelled by a force he couldn’t explain, Rick walked over to the man. His thoughts, once focused on music, instead shifted as he drank in the sight of the handsome Latino. The way he smiled, the way his dark hair was styled, the way his shirt hugged his muscles. Rick felt his dick stir.

“Howdy there, friend,” Rick drawled, tipping his hat politely, “Name’s Rick. Can’t help but notice you seem mighty fond of this here tune, same as me.”

Alvaro looks up at the man, “Buenas noches. The name’s Alvaro.”

Rick’s eyes flash with recognition, “You mean the Alvaro? Like Alvaro Altuve? I reckon I recognized you from somewhere!”

Alvaro grinned, “Always happy to meet a fan.”

Rick paused for a second, captivated by the singer’s smile. The two stared at one another before Alvaro beckoned him to take a seat at the bar. Rick happily accepted the two chatting it up, their conversation flowing naturally- like two old friends. Their knowledge about North Side and their interest in the band not fitting with their outward appearance.

“I would’ve never expected you to like North Side.” Alvaro laughed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He chuckled, throwing an arm around the man’s shoulder. They both blushed at the mere touch, and Rick pulled his arm away, “Well, I reckon I was always a fan, I think.” Rick shrugged and Alvaro grinned.

“Makes sense! You were the one who introduced me to them after all.” Those words hung in the air, the two became silent and stared at one another- their expressions shifting, their eyes conveying a faint recognition.

Rick, Alvaro knows Rick. He doesn’t know how he does but something deep within him pangs with familiarity or deja vu. Judging by the expression on the cowboy’s face it seems as if there’s some pang of memory behind his eyes as well. Alvaro stares at the fan wondering if he just saw the man at his concert or something but knows that dressed like he is, that cannot be the case, and then he sees his lips struggle to say, “C- Calv- Calvin?”

At once both men flash back. They were having lunch together, as they have done countless times throughout the years. Eric sees his friend who could scarcely put two Spanish words together, Calvin sees his bestie that would never be caught dead in a cowboy hat. They’re just talking shit as friends do when Eric gasps at a notification on his phone, “Dude- North Side is back!”

Before they left the table, the pair had bought tickets to the CYT festival and had begun planning what they were going to wear. Not for a moment wondering what else they’d care to see at the festival, why should they? They were going to see their favorite band of all time and they were going to do so together. 

Together. 

Back in the present as they look at each other in their new forms. Alvaro sees the sweaty, hairy chest of the good old southern man in front of him. Rick sees the effortlessly alluring manicured body of a latin rock star staring back at him. Together has a different spot in both their minds as they hear a grindr notification go off somewhere in the distance. Might as well see what their new bodies can do.

As quick as their feet can travel they’re in Alvaro’s trailer. Attempts to trawl out memories from who they were are fruitless or painful, so instead they delight in the present. The artist cannot believe how enticed he is by the smell of cheap whiskey and cheaper beer on the man’s breath. Rick is less discerning as he hungrily delights in the sweaty musk of the man who was on stage not all that long ago. 

Rick’s rough beard scratches against Alvaro’s neck as he takes a deep breath, he hears a deep whisper from the performer, “volve loco, vaquero.” He growls and his arms shake as he sees no reason to not obey man. Music playing in the background rapidly shifts from Alvaro’s own album, to the b-sides of the Blue Sky Dreamers, to the music that brought them into these new lives, North Side. Before fading altogether and leaving them alone with the sound of their bodies.

With each passing moment in the heady enjoyment of their new selves they feel their identities cemented. Rick’s clean-pressed closet wiped away for life on a farm, his pen-pushing 9-to-5 is nothing compared to the outdoor lifestyle he far prefers. Alvaro’s whole country of origin irrevocably changed, while he loves the life he’s found in the states they will never be where he’s from.

With each thrust they bury their past lives. Rick is and always has been a rough and tumble, rugged man. The rockstar life may be new to Alvaro, but he has always been a musician, even when he was just a small-town artist playing in cantinas. Despite their pasts being erased and their new lives becoming the only reality they know, they remain together. 

Sweatily making out in a trailer as Alvaro struggles to stop the cowboy from leaving cum stains on his stage outfit, when they are together something just feels right. While everything in the world around them may point otherwise, when they are in each other’s arms, everything just seems to make more sense. Even after they’re done having their fun, something remains between them, pulling them together. 

Sheepishly eying the cowboy as he pulls up his Levi’s, Alvaro doesn’t want to let him go, “Oi, vaquero?” The cowboy looks up thankfully, he’d never say as much but even life on the ranch doesn’t hold a match to the past hour with Alvaro, “Queiro- Do you wanna have lunch?” 

“Thought chu’d never ask-”

Neither would’ve guessed what their relationship would evolve into. Initially, it was the talk of the town. The Latin heartthrob and the rough-and-tumble country boy seemed like a totally unlikely couple. Some called it a publicity stunt, others whispered that it would never last. But through it all, Alvaro and Rick stood strong, their bond growing deeper with each passing day.

Alvaro strummed a guitar softly, while Rick leaned back in his chair, a contented smile on his face. The radio playing softly in the background- the familiar beat of North Side’s music playing.

“Ya know,” Rick said, breaking the comfortable silence, “I still can’t believe we went from two strangers at a bar to…”

“To this,” Alvaro finished, setting down his guitar and taking Rick’s hand in his own, “And I wouldn’t have it any other way, mi amor.”

The two held each other closely, while North Side continued to play in the background.

[devosin]

COOKING HAVEN, them cooking, cooking together with them, food tasting, everything you want in a food related fic <3

gender neutral reader / tooth-rotting fluff / crack taken seriously / entire twst cast / Aggressive flirting? Aggressive Flirting. / Really indulgent /

01. HEARTSLABYUL

Trey sighs, rubbing his forehead as he fights the will to stare back up at Ace's hands, as he struggles to chop the peppers on the cutting board, . . "Ace . .?", he calls out as softly as he can muster, and he stares up at him, "yeah?" . . "Take off the knife guard"

Ace stares at him dumbfounded, his head tilting slightly as he looks back at him blankly, "What?" he asks, "The plastic cover on the knife, Ace.", he looks at the knife blankly, then attempts to pull off the cover, his mouth opening to a round 'O' shape, when it comes off.

"Sorry, first time using . . err, fancy knifes." he says as he sets the cover aside, moving back to cutting the peppers as slow as humanely possible, careful not to cut his hands, "Well it feels like the first time you've cut anything in general, so I don't know what argument you're trying to make here." Trey spits back, slightly agitated with his slow movements.

Cater and Riddle, setting up equipment, mainly because Trey doesn't trust Riddle in the kitchen yet, . . he also doesn't trust either of them to be alone with the equipment alone, but together, it's different.

"Trey said to boil four cups of water?", Riddle states but it comes out in the form of a question because honestly he doesn't know what he's doing, "Like a coffee mug, right?", Cater asks holding up a small mug he found on the counter, "I think so, I mean what's the difference!" (There is in fact, a massive difference.)

After setting that up, where they may or may not have spilt water all over the counter; Cater runs a rag through the wet counters, cleaning over the leftover residue, "Didn't Trey mention something about, needing some yeast?" he asks.

Riddle thinks for a moment, "I think we'll be fine, baking doesn't need yeast right."

"Yeah you're probably right", replies Cater, as he stretches his arms, "I guess were done then", Riddle nods, "Mhm, wonder why Trey didn't give us more work."

"Yeah it's almost like he doubts our abilities in the kitchen", Cater states casually, "But were so helpful", "Exactly." (The delusional speaking to the delusional.)

Y/n, Deuce, and Trey baking together.

"Ok so the soup is boiling, I think we can try prepping the bread now?", Trey asks, "Sure thing", you reply, while Deuce helps tie your apron from the back.

"Just one problem . ." Deuce speaks up, finally letting go of the strings of your apron, and looking around at the ingredients laid on the counter, ". . . We're out of yeast." . . You pause, "doesn't all baking recipes, require yeast—"

Trey blinks . . "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT."

02. DIASOMNIA

Lilia looks over the recipe book, about one whole time before he deems it useless and throws it to the side (It lands in the trash, because clearly THE Lilia Vanrouge doesn't require such things), "Okay so we need some flour, oil, water—", he continues listing ingredients while Sebek goes out of his way to grab everything he mentions as fast as possible on the table.

"—Salt, sugar, lemon", Sebek reaches into the cabinet, before muttering, "Lilia . . we're out of salt."

Lilia pauses, thinking for a moment, his inner cooking genius coming together in his head, trying to figure out a swift solution, "We can just use baking soda . . I mean they're both white powders, right?!", Sebek pauses, thinking it over, "Yeah sounds perfectly logical."

Malleus, you, and Silver were in charge of making drinks for the picnic you had planned.

"Where's Silver?" you ask Malleus, while he washes the fruits you both bought the day before, "He fell asleep, I didn't think it would be polite to wake him up", you hum in response, bringing out the chopping boards and knifes on the counter.

You both started cutting mindlessly, while chatting away, "So, what are we making anyways?", he asks curiously, "Just a virgin cocktail of sor—ow—fuck!", you drop the knife, "Are you okay?" Malleus asks, ushering to your side.

"I'm fine, it's just a small cut, do you have a band aid?", Malleus nods, "Let me go get it!" (He proceeded to do everything alone until silver woke up and choose to finally help with cutting the rest of the fruit.

The picnic was outside, everyone helped set up the area.

"Lilia . . what's this?", you ask curiously eyeing whatever baked good was on your plate . . (It shouldn't even be called a baked good), "I don't know, I just mixed a few things and threw it in the oven, it's good no?", he asks curiously.

"I can tell", Silver mumbles, as you bump his shoulders slightly, "Ah yes, so good—So good in fact, I might just save it for dinner . . I mean Crowley, and his underpayment—"

"You can take all of it back to Ramshackle", Lilia suggests, "NO!—I mean, I couldn't—really . . it would HURT me." (He delivered a basket of baked horrors to your dorm the next morning.)

03. SAVANACLAW

Ruggie draws out his sigh, a scowl permanently placed on his face, as he stares at your pathetic attempt at cutting meat, "No—not like that . . you're wasting so much good meat", he mumbled the last part, he's trying to be nice, really, but there's only so much patience one can maintain at your mediocre cutting abilities. 

"You're massacring the meat!", he states firmly, as he finally shoves you away from the cutting board, and takes over your job, leaving you no choice but to move aside and let him have his way, "You know, this wouldn't happen if you . . just taught me how to cut the meat . ." you mumble out in protest, your hands laying at your sides. 

"I did", he responds dismissively, "No, you just handed me a knife and told me to cut", "Exactly, it's called immersive learning, something you're clearly not good at." 

You hold up your middle finger, "Fuck you", you bite back, but Ruggie doesn't respond back this time, focusing more so on cutting the expensive cut of meat he got off of Leona's Credit Card.

Leona enters the kitchen while you both were well near finished with kitting the meat.

"Morning", he yawns out, "So close, it's the afternoon", you blurt out, rolling your eyes at his overall casual demeanor, meanwhile you've been dealing with star michelin chef Ruggie's nagging all morning, from your cutting game, to how you can't just eyeball salt levels. 

"Close enough" he shrugs, looking over the counter, "Watcha' making?", he asks blankly, "Minced meat, clearly", Ruggie says in the most deadpanned way possible, pointing to your mess of cut meat, "Oh shit, who massacred the meat?" Leona asks, Ruggie looks at you. 

You cough, and look away, "I tried teaching them", Ruggie says in the most distraught tone he can muster, "Well clearly not well enough", Leona states bluntly, and you let out a small chuckle at Ruggie's expense.  

Jack comes in, awhile after Leona leaves the room, he greets you both and looks at the cutting board, one side of minced and mushed meat, and the other with perfectly diced meat, "Who fuck up the meat?", he asks bluntly, and Ruggie looks at you again, "Seriously, is it that bad!?" 

04. POMEFIORE

"Are you sure I'm doing this right?", you mumble out, as you continue mixing away, "You're doing amazing, trickster!" Rook exclaims, way too fucking energetically for it being 3am in the goddamn morning, your arms were practically falling apart, already aching from the school day, and now you're stuck on mixing duty, of all things that are involved in the glorious process of baking, mixing is the worst part. 

“Ah—I think we need more apples, give me a moment”, Rook walks out of the kitchen, and Epel finally lays back, stretching his arms, before looking at you, a chuckle escapes him at your expression, “You look like shit”, he says blankly, “wow, I didn’t ask”, you respond back, staring at him blankly, as he moves closer to you. 

You guys stare at each other for a brief moment, before he smiles and flicks your forehead, “Cheer up, you look like the goddamn walking dead”. 

You blink, and a smile takes over your features after probably hours, “Fuck you”, you mumble out, under your breath, but he doesn’t take any offense, moving back to his original spot. 

A couple hours later, the pie was in the oven, the lights were off, Epel was on the counter, you sitting down beside the oven, while Rook was busy mixing some sort of cocktail or something, surprisingly he’s good at mixing drinks.

“So anyways, Ace was like, ‘he doesn’t even have a hairline, why does he need a comb for’—”, you speak, moving your hands around as you recount your story, when something enters the room, something green, and your oven alarm goes off, ‘ring, ring, ring’, and the next thing you know, you, Epel were screaming and running behind Rook. 

“Oh, Good morning Roi du Poison”, Rook says in his cheery voice, and you both turn your face from him to the figure on the door, and then Vil flicks on the lights, groaning, “Why are you two still up, and why are you YELLING!”, Vil says, trying to stay as calm as humanly possible, turns out he gets up at the ass crack of dawn, and that his morning mud mask is a putrid green, things to note. 

05. IGNIHYDE

Ortho, sets the flour on the counter, you'd be surprised at both his speed and strength if you didn't know he was a robot, and you're also not in the position to focus on him right now. 

"Do I need to wear this?", Idia asks softly, as you tie the pink apron on him from the bow, making sure the strings come together in a bow, "don't you want to make your brother happy?", you tease softly, a chuckle escaping you as you watch his shoulders slump and he mumbles out a soft, "yeah . . ", the tips of his hair burn pink, he’s embarrassed. 

"Do you need help with yours?", he asks pointing to the white apron on the counter, you'd usually say no, but who are you to refuse when he already seems flustered over asking in the first place, "Yeah." 

Idia fiddles with the straps of the apron, struggling to tie a proper knot—"This isn't too tight, right?", he asks softly, and you nod. He ties a messy knot, that somehow holds together, you don't have to look at him to know he's embarrassed, you smile loosely, walking closer to Ortho, “Shall we start?”. 

06. SCARABIA

Kalim sits on top of the counter, headphones on, dangling his legs (he’s just a girl . . jkjk), as he watches you and Jamil cook. Too bad those headphones were soundproof, because what he thought was a cute interaction was actually World War 3 for you, “You call this a roti?”, Jamil asks you, trying his best to remain calm (he’s failing horribly), “Well it’s technically a roti . . “ you try and reason, the ingredients were the same . . technically. 

“. . .”, he pauses, taking a few deep breaths, trying to control his voice, which wasn’t working, “THAT’S A GODDAMN TRIANGLE”, you stare at Jamil blankly, “The roti has a good personality!” 

Jamil lifts the big pot full of water onto the stove, and sets everything up, probably because he didn’t trust you with many things, except pouring water into the pot, though he eyed you through the entire process, which at that point he could just do it himself, “Now put in the spices”, he says, as he watches bring out the turmeric jar. 

“How much?” you ask, as you take out the measuring spoons from the cabinet, “As much as your heart desires, only stop when your heart tells you to stop.”, he replies in the most serious way possible that you almost believed him. 

“Jamil?” you ask, “Yes?” he replies, straightening his back, “I meant the spices, not my love life, I don’t need advice from you of all people.”

“ . . . “ he pauses, “get the hell out of my kitchen . .” (He’s about to blow, actually), "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY—"

07. OCTAVINELLE

“Are you sure this is a reputable idea?”, you ask Azul as he looks through the ingredients Jade brought in for his new recipe idea, you don’t exactly understand why they asked you for your help, he has a multitude of workers to select from, but who are you to deny a cash offering, that’s just silly, Azul shakes his head, “Jade’s tastes are surely questionable, but he never fails when it comes to the Monstro Lounge.” he responds with a smile, his pen checking off everything in his list. 

“Why is Shrimpy here?”, Floyd asks curiously, leaning into the counter, placing his head in his hands, “To help, I guess . .” You respond, and Floyd shakes head, “No . . you need to eat”, Floyd says bluntly, “What? I ate!”, you snip back at him, confused at the sudden shift in topic, “No yeah, that’s why we asked you to come here, Floyd said you weren’t eating properly.”, Azul shrugs, as if this was just the most normal thing ever. 

And now you're here, on the table, eating something they served you, while Jade keeps you company, because apparently he’s not allowed in the kitchen for a month, after last week’s incident, which honestly you don’t want to know about. 

You take a bite of the pasta, they gave you way too big of a serving if you were being honest, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer, so you gave up trying to shut them down, you look up, and find Jade staring at you, “What?” you ask him curiously. 

“You have something on your face”, he says blankly and you quickly rub your face, trying to get whatever it is off, and he chuckles, “Kidding, you’re really easy to trick”, you frown but continue eating the food in front of you, “Hey . . Do you happen to know why Floyd calls you shrimpy?”, he asks, eyeing you curiously. 

You shake your head, no, "You wanna know why?", he asks casually, almost comfortingly but you try not to misread the situation, you nod, "Why?" 

"Because you're like a shrimp, tiny and weak, on the lower end of the food-chain—", you throw a piece of bread at him, "I'm kidding—Stop wasting the bread!", he says, as he moves away before you can throw more at him, "What's the real reason?", you ask again, "Because you seem weak and sad, I mean with how Crowley treats you and all—", he pauses, “he didn’t explain more than that, but you seemed lonely, like a lot of shrimps.” 

And that's when it hits you, like a truck, these fish breath assholes, care . . a lot . .  more than you give them credit for. 

commissions / discord server / (all open) commissions

@ devosin , do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work/theme without prior permission and or confirmation.

[archangeldyke-all]

here me out. isha would so want a praying mantis and/or a colony of cockroaches. jinx would enable her. reader would be against the cockroaches (projecting here). sevika would also be against it but fold and buy the cockroaches and/or the praying mantis cause isha insisted.

oh my god TOTALLY hehehe

men and minors dni

it's a slow saturday morning in your home. jinx is lounging on the couch, flipping through a book ekko lent her a few days ago. sevika's at the stove, sipping the coffee you made for her while flipping pancakes and frying eggs. you're getting a head start on some chores, dusting the baseboards and shelves. there's gentle music drifting from the tiny radio you keep in the kitchen. it's a perfect morning... almost...

"where's the rugrat?" sevika asks.

you hum. "still sleeping, i guess."

"isha? sleeping in?" sevika asks. you shrug.

"maybe she's goin' through a growth spurt."

speak of the devil and she will appear, because not two minutes after sevika asks where she is, isha comes stumbling into the kitchen. she's got crazy bedhead, one sock on and the other missing, and a glint in her eye that makes you nervous.

"there she is!" sevika giggles. isha greets sevika with a quick fist bump before running over to hug your waist. you smile down at the girl.

"good morning isha-bean." you greet. she giggles at the nickname, then pulls up her sleep shirt to reveal one of her nature magazines tucked in her pajama pants.

ms. baby. look at this bug! she signs before pulling you to the table and flipping through the pages. you take a seat beside her, gently combing your fingers through her hair as she looks for her page.

isha shoves the magazine to your side of the table, tapping the picture of a pink praying mantis. "wow, that's beautiful!" you gasp. isha grins and nods.

it's called an orchid praying mantis! it's so pretty! do you know that praying mantis' only eat alive creatures? isha signs so fast you can barely keep up. you giggle.

"they eat their husbands too." you say.

isha takes an excited breath. they're so so so so cool! she signs. will you buy me one?

you laugh. "buy you one?! is that even possible?!"

isha nods rapidly. i went on the computer! all i need is a big enclosure and some plants and a humidifier and some bugs to feed it--

"woah, slow down!" you laugh. "the sun's barely even up yet!"

isha rolls her eyes and huffs, then turns to sevika. big mama, will you take me to the pet store today?

sevika laughs. "isha-baby, y'know i do what ms. baby says."

isha whines and stomps her foot. but look! she signs, grabbing the magazine and holding it up for sevika to investigate. look how cool!

"it's awesome kid. we just gotta talk about it a bit before we make any decisions."

isha rolls her eyes again, then sulks off to the living room to bother jinx.

you think that's the end of it until sevika declares that breakfast is ready and your girls don't come to the table.

"jinx, isha, did you hear your big mama?!" you call from where you're plating some pancakes.

there's no response. sevika frowns.

"where the hell are they?" she asks.

you walk into the living room and find it empty. "not here." you say. sevika huffs and pulls out her phone, calling jinx.

it rings twice before jinx answers.

"what's up sev?" she asks. sevika snorts.

"where the hell are you two?"

jinx giggles down the line. "the pet store! isha wants a praying mantis."

you groan as sevika bursts into laughter. you snatch the phone out of your wife's hand to scold your kids.

"you can't just leave the house without telling us!"

"you woulda said no if i told you where we were going!"

"jinx, i told isha maybe! that doesn't mean 'go for it right now!'"

sevika wraps an arm around your shoulders and kisses your head, mumbling so the girls can't hear her. "just let it go, baby."

"how the hell do you think you're gonna haul home all the supplies?!" you ask down the line.

there's silence for a moment, then jinx giggles. "isha says we'll steal a shopping cart."

"do not steal a fucking shopping cart!" you squeal.

sevika snorts, then turns the stove off. "we'll come pick you kids up. what pet store are you walking toward?"

you elbow your wife. "don't encourage them!"

"nothing we say is gonna stop 'em baby." sevika laughs. you groan.

"you little shits are in so much trouble when you get home."

jinx just laughs down the line. "whatever you say, ms. baby."

you find your girls at the local pet store parking lot. isha's grinning like she just won the lottery, peering into the tiny little carrier her new friend is in. jinx's arms are full with supplies, and she's smiling sweetly down at isha. you groan at the sight of them.

"you have to admit they're cute as hell." sevika says. you giggle.

"of course i admit that! that's the only reason i'm not furious right now!"

sevika snorts and pulls you over the center console, giving you a quick kiss. "you're a good mama."

you roll your eyes, but then kiss your wife again. "you are too."

the girls pile into the car, and isha excitedly shoves the new bug in your face. ms. baby, look! she signs, wiggling in her carseat as you examine her new friend.

from where she's loading the trunk with supplies, jinx speaks. "tell 'em the name you picked out, isha-bug."

meet lady jaws! isha introduces. you chuckle.

"lady jaws, huh?"

cause she ate her husband!

you laugh and roll your eyes. "get your seat belt on you little shit. our pancakes are probably cold by now."

sevika snorts and pulls your hand to her lips, kissing your knuckles. jinx pats your shoulder as she settles into the backseat.

"you're a good mom, ms. baby." jinx giggles. you shake your head.

"i'm gonna put gps trackers on you kids."

kofi

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @butchchase @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth

taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys @sevikasllver @runawaybaby3 @lesbones

@chezze-its @lez-zuha @vikashoneybee @shanesevikasfuckdoll @imheadintothemountains

@ferxanda @helaenabugmom @spookymomfriendtm @leeidk87 @cinnamowor1d

[intimidating-fettuccine]

For Helen, Toby, and Jeff (separately). Their S/O does watercolor painting, and has a bad habit of putting their brush dipping cup next to the cup they're drinking out of. The creep decides to steal a sip from their S/O's drink. Would any of them end up accidentally drinking the paint water? If so, how would they react?

Thank you so much for requesting this, I love stuff like this. I am not deciding before writing who does or doesn't drink it, and instead going by vibes :p We'll have to see~

Helen:

Helen believes himself to be above making such a mistake. After all, he's done plenty of watercolor painting himself, and he knows to be careful with the various cups surrounding a painting station. So, when he gets the idea to steal a sip from your drink, he plans it out. He's been sitting there watching you from afar for quite a while now, analyzing which cup you're constantly dipping your brush into, that way he can be correct, as he always should, when he sneaks over to take a sip of your drink. Luckily, you seem to be extremely consistent in which cup you're using today, so he thinks himself in the clear when he lithely moves himself beside you, resting his hips against the table, arms crossed as he dazes down at your painting. His compliments for your work come easily, and you don't seem to have any clue about his plan. He waits a few minutes before discreetly sneaking a hand down and gripping the glass he knows your drink is in, and he can't help but smirk internally as he takes a sip, his mouth met with the sweet flavor of juice, however, he ends up wincing in horrible surprise. The sweet taste of juice becomes acrid, his mouth pulled taut in disgust as the flavor of paint overtakes the juice. A chuckle causes his eyes to flick down at you, where you're gazing at him in sympathy. You explain you'd accidentally dipped your brush into your drink, but you hadn't dumped the drink out yet and had resolved to do it after your painting was finished. Helen must be suffering from success, as they say, considering he was right, but so, so wrong about his answer. He pinches and pulls your cheeks painfully for a couple of minutes as your punishment, and makes you swear to never tell anyone else of what happened here, his cheeks flushed red at his mistake. Helen decides to still take this as a win because technically he was correct, but he narrows his eyes at you as you laugh at him for his embarrassment, a mistake on your part, and in the end, Helen isn't the only one who had to take a sip from the cup.

Toby:

Toby has played this game too many times before. You see, this isn't his first attempt, much to your chagrin. You've warned him countless times that he can just question you on which drink is the correct one, so he doesn't have to play these secret guessing games that aren't quite so secret anymore. He can't help it, he's addicted to the rush of being correct (which, generally, he is), even if you tell him it's not healthy for him to drink the paint water in the few times he's been wrong, but Toby is stubborn when he sets his mind to something, and today is no different. You shake your head at him as you go about your painting, a sigh leaving you at his antics. He sits in the corner of the art room, watching you like a hawk, doing his best to analyze which cup is which, in his attempt to not get distracted. The only problem is, that Toby doesn't have the greatest view. He likes to challenge himself, and it doesn't help him that not only are you using multiple water cups today, but he can't see which cup exactly is the juice cup because they're all smushed together, and it's hidden behind one of the water cups. Toby does his best though, and he decides he's made his decision, as he moves around the room and creeps up behind you, his hand targeting a very specific cup, but you've taken pity on him today, as his hand meets yours, covering the cup he was reaching for. He turns to look at you, and you shake your head once more, moving his hand to the correct one. He argues that he's not stealing a drink if you know he's taking it, and you argue that you both knew this was going to happen, so he can take a sip or not, but you weren't letting him drink paint today. He pouts but takes the glass regardless, and sighs in content as he tastes the delicious flavor of the juice you'd picked that day. He reasons that sometimes maybe it's better for you to help him out than suffer from a loss as he plops down beside you, your juice cup not leaving his hands anytime soon. At least he shares with you when you ask.

Jeff:

The thought crosses his mind in a fleeting fashion, one he almost chooses to ignore, but the idea does appeal to the competitive part of his brain quite easily. He looks up from his phone, his eyes tracing over where you sit in front of him, your back to him as you sit hunched over one of the art tables, your hands moving with practiced ease over the canvas before you. He hums quietly, biting his lip as he tries to decide whether it would actually be worth it, in the end, to take a sip of paint water on accident, but he decides to give it an attempt, watching you secretly from his seat as you continue to toil away over your latest piece of art. He almost forgets what he's trying to attempt in the first place, his mind spacing out as he admires you from behind, a smile blooming on his face as he rouses quietly from his seat. His skills in sneaking around come in handy as he creeps up behind you, with you none the wiser to his actions. He hoves behind you, peering over your shoulder at the painting you're working on, momentarily distracted by how impressed he is by your work, but his eyes flick back to the cups beside you as he decides how to make his move. However, a thought occurs to Jeff that didn't occur to the others; you can tell from the color of the fluid which one is correct if you just stand there for a minute and analyze it. Your drink cup is a solid color, but the water cup you're using for paint has light streaks of color from where the paint hasn't completely mixed in yet. He very confidently reaches over you to grasp at the correct cup, and he chuckles to himself as he downs about half of your juice before you notice and make a complaint, dropping your brushes and moving to get your drink back. Laughter booms out of him as he gives you the cup back, his arms wrapping around you as he praises you for your painting, his head resting on top of yours as you go back to work, a blissed out smile on his face from being able to hold you like this, having won his challenge, his head nuzzling into yours lovingly.

[ckret2]

Chapter 46 of human Bill Cipher frantically wishing he was still locked in the Mystery Shack and not getting his wish:

The Eclipse: Part 4

Gravity has fully disappeared from Gravity Falls and Bill finally learns why the Axolotl traveled all the way to Earth to see him. And meanwhile, Ford's in mortal peril.

[SUPER IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: if you're reading this, it means that I've edited chapters 6&7 to make them compatible with The Book Of Bill but I have not edited this chapter yet.

Before TBOB came out, in chapter 7 I wrote that the Ax's deal with Bill was "I'll give you a different form (a human body) in a different time (dropping you a thousand years in the future) so you don't have to see your old enemies" and then Bill stole a time tape to come right back to the 21st century. I've now edited ch 6&7 to make the Ax's deal with Bill "I'll drop you off in Theraprism" and then Bill escaped via reincarnation.

However, this chapter refers to the OLD version of ch 7. That's because there are not physically enough hours in my life for me to do all the editing I want to do as fast as I want to do it.

Things Bill & the Axolotl say in this chapter contradict TBOB and contradict what the new ch 6&7 say. The conversation they're having DOES NOT accurately reflect the fic's current plot. Don't freak out. I'll fix it when I can. - (note added Sept 7, 2024; will be removed when it's no longer necessary.)]

####

There were only two ways to remove a pair of magic friendship bracelets. Either both wearers had to consent to removing the bracelets; or one of the parties had to die. The bracelets weren't active if they were only being worn by one person, and a corpse wasn't a person.

The moment Dipper's soul left his body, the thread connecting the bracelets turned visible again.

Bill immediately yanked off his bracelet. He considered just letting it go, reconsidered considering that Dipper's ghost would probably tattle to Mabel, and carefully, slowly reeled the thread in. Without the magic active, it was just normal embroidery floss. The Axolotl's gravitational pull didn't make Dipper's body heavy enough to break the line, but if Bill jerked it just a little too hard, it would snap.

Bill heaved a sigh when the body was close enough he could grasp its wrist. He grabbed Dipper's head and snarled in his dead face, "This is why I told you to get in the cave." He wrapped the bracelet around and around the tree trunk and Dipper's forearm, muttering to himself, "But does anybody listen to the all-knowing immortal dream demon who's seventy times older than their entire universe? No! No, what could it possibly know! Surely we'll get better ideas from the brain-damaged hick who married a raccoon—"

An immense voice said, "Hello."

Bill froze. He slowly turned away from the beast above Gravity Falls.

The voice said serenely, "Look at me, you 8-karat coward."

He slowly turned toward the beast above Gravity Falls. He swallowed hard, steeled himself, and dragged his gaze up until he met the Axolotl's eye and he was gently tugged into the time and space between time and space. "Oh, heyyy," he squeaked. He forced a pained smile. "Didn't see you there! Haha, hi! Wow! Imagine running into you in this dimension on this planet, crazy."

"Yes, crazy," the Axolotl agreed.

"This isn't a regular part of your commute! I guess you've got some time off," Bill said. "Work must be going well!"

"Pretty well. I scheduled an extended lunch break," the Axolotl said amiably. "How's being human going?"

Bill shot the Axolotl a dirty look.

The Axolotl continued to give him a perpetual smile. "Happy New Year, by the way."

"I'll kill you."

"No you won't."

"Okay look, let's just cut to the chase," Bill said. "Go on. Tell me my punishment."

"Punishment?"

"For! Coming back here instead of staying when you dumped me in 3012. I skipped time while on parole. That's obviously why you're here." He looked down, shielding his face with a hand and squeezing his eyes shut. "So stop wasting my time and tell me how much trouble I'm in. I'm a busy guy, I don't wanna drag this out."

"Well," the Axolotl said, "it appears to me that you're locked in your enemies' home, you can't use doors, and you need to be handcuffed to a child to go outside. Is that enough 'trouble' for you?"

Bill opened one eye. "Wait, so." He looked up skeptically. "You're saying I won't get re-executed for breaking the rules. Or—or get stuck in a worse body."

"No," the Axolotl said. "You'll answer to no jailer's voice; what you do now is your own choice. I moved you by a thousand years to free you from your killers' fears. If you decide then to return, it's your own second chance you burn."

"Ohhh. See, I assumed this entire situation was a... prison... thing. Considering the..." He gestured vaguely at his body. "The flesh prison." 

"It's a body. Not a prison. You aren't being imprisoned."

"'Not a prison' my base, if it's not a prison then why can't—" He caught himself before he asked a question, and took a deep breath. "So, there are no rules against coming right back to where I left off."

"Though I think your plan is clunky—not my circus, not my monkey."

"Oh. Okay, great." Bill planted his hands on his hips, straightening up properly for the first time since the Axolotl's arrival. "Huh. How 'bout that. Spent the last two days worrying for nothing!"

"You? Worried?"

"Of course not, I wasn't worried for a second," Bill said. "So if you're not here to punish me—that doesn't explain why you are here."

"Are you asking?"

"You know I'm not."

The Axolotl stared at Bill, patiently awaiting a question. Bill stared at the Axolotl, patiently not asking one.

The Axolotl caved first. "I wanted to make sure you hadn't burned down the dimension yet."

Bill pointed sharply at the Axolotl. "Hey! Hey!"

The Axolotl gave him a look like a toothless gumball learning how to smile.

"Not funny! Seriously, now!"

"I came because you called."

"Wh— When did—?" Bill cut himself off. He thought back to the day he'd spent locked in the bathroom. He recalled the desperate plea for salvation he'd painted on the ceiling. He buried his face in his hand. "That... that was a joke. False alarm."

"I gathered," the Axolotl said.

Bill peeked between his fingers. "But, I did call for rescue. Therefore. You're here to rescue me."

"No."

"Why n—! You said I'm not supposed to be in a prison! You've seen what these humans have done to me!"

"You aren't a prisoner," the Axolotl said. "You're a kidnapping victim. That's outside my jurisdiction."

Infuriating—but it told Bill something important: in the Axolotl's eyes, Bill's captivity wasn't just. And Bill didn't consider the Axolotl any kind of god—he didn't consider anyone any kind of god—but the Ax had a lot of pull in the multiverse when it came to defining the universal concept of justice. That was promising. 

"But I do have a keen interest in your case. I wanted to check in on your progress."

Bill gave the Axolotl a questioning look. "'Progress.'"

The Axolotl said nothing. Bill waited. The Axolotl simply continued to smile. "You haven't asked a question yet. Usually you can't wait to get rid of me."

"Under the circumstances," he gestured again at his body, "I didn't think I could afford to waste it."

"I see. However, I do have a meeting I need to get to."

What was the most important thing he could ask. What did he need to know the most. "So... if I learn my lesson or complete my sentence or—whatever I'm supposed to do... will you turn me back into a triangle?"

"I can't and won't do anything else. I've completed my obligation to you," the Axolotl said. "Whatever happens to you from now on is up to you."

That could mean anything from "you're stuck as a human forever and will die in less than a century" to "there's a secret spell on you and when you meet its conditions you'll automatically turn back into a triangle" to "you're already a triangle, you just need to believe in yourself." All Bill knew was that he wasn't getting any help from the Ax.

"It's been a pleasure as always," the Axolotl said. The world slowly began to move again as he gently returned Bill to the dimension he'd come from.

"Wait!" Bill called. He needed to know—was he still a triangle, somewhere on the inside, buried beneath all this flesh and bone? Or had the Axolotl's transformation rotted him to his core—was he now nothing but a human through and through? If he wasn't being punished, why had his suffocating soul been smothered under a blanket of meat? If he wasn't being punished, why had his own corpse stared him in the eye as if it didn't recognize him? "Just one more question before you go!"

"If you have the time. Up to you."

If he had the time? Bill's eyes darted around. Why wouldn't he have the time, what was he missing—?

His gaze locked on Ford. Floating twenty, thirty feet out from the cliff's edge. Oh.

Bill let the Axolotl's gravity drag him to the edge of the cliff before digging a hand into the ground, holding himself in place. Bill was safe; Dipper's body was safe, and his soul could float home once the Axolotl was gone. But when the Axolotl was gone, gravity would immediately come back—0 to 100, just like that—and Ford was dead.

And the Axolotl was already turning away. The millions of axolotls in the water below followed, moving through and out of the lake as though the lakebed didn't exist, migrating in the Axolotl's wake.

Ford was unsuccessfully trying to swim through the air back to land. Several useless feet of cable from his infinity belt floating around him from trying to fling it at the cliff. The best he could do was stretch an arm toward land.

He met Bill's eyes. The only other time Bill had seen Ford this terrified was when he'd threatened to torture the kids.

Bill looked at Ford, looked at the Axolotl—nearly too far to shout to—and looked down. By now, the future death he'd witnessed earlier was so close that Bill could see more than the blood to be left on the rocks. He could see the body—gray hair, tan overcoat, broken. It was just a few moments away.

Stanford Pines was about to die. Bill Cipher was innocent. Dipper was his witness; Dipper, honest goody hero type, could verify that Bill not only repeatedly told them both to stay away from the thing in the sky, but also warned them to anchor themselves right before totality. Everyone at the shack knew he'd protested, knew he'd warned them, knew he'd begged to stay home. There was no possible way Bill could get blamed for this.

And once Ford was dead, none of the idiots in this town would ever find a way to destroy Bill.

Up to you.

Bill didn't stop to think.

He kicked off the edge of the cliff.

He could see, hovering in the air like a golden arc amidst a dozen blurry failures, the path he needed to jump to reach Ford. The Axolotl's tail was already soaring over the town, his sky blue fins rippling like vast, slow sails. If Bill reached Ford before the Axolotl's influence was completely gone, he could fly them over the lake and they might both survive. 

They collided. Bill had to fling an arm over Ford's shoulder before he managed to get a grip on his lapel; Ford seized Bill's hoodie in both hands. Ford demanded, "What are you—?" He fell silent as their trajectory took a sudden sharp turn from south to east.

"The lake!"

Ford nodded. Why could come if they both survived. He could already feel weight grabbing onto his limbs. He spared a split-second glance down, but with half the lake floating in the air he couldn't tell if they'd cleared its banks yet. "Have you ever learned to swim?"

"You have to learn?!"

Ford prayed, if Bill drowned, that he was a mortal, and that he wasn't the kind of drowner who dragged other people down with him. "Cross your ankles as tightly as you can, cross your arms over your chest, land feet first in the water—better to break your legs than your neck—do not tilt your head, eyes on the horizon—" And that was as much emergency survival advice as he could give before gravity returned in full force.

This wasn't the first time Ford had plummeted into a deep liquid from an irresponsible height over the past thirty years. The hit was softer than he expected—the turbulent lake hadn't settled back down into its normal water pressure—but he also sank far deeper than he expected. Streams of bubbles raced past his vision; maybe it was just the power of suggestion, but he could have sworn they looked like transparent axolotls.

As soon as he had his wits about him, he threw off his coat, tugged off his boots, and kicked his way toward the surface.

Bill didn't.

This actually wasn't so bad, he thought, with a calmness that definitely came from being such a rational level-headed fellow and not from being in shock. Sure, all the air had been forced out of his lungs and his body was screaming in airless panic, but he wasn't his body, was he? This felt just like floating. He would miss floating again.

What was he supposed to do now.

He'd seen humans swim. He tried kicking his legs. He felt stupid. But, he decided—again, with a calmness that definitely was not from shock—that looking kinda stupid was probably preferable to drowning. Although he was curious what drowning felt like. Had he ever drowned a puppet before? He couldn't remember. Didn't seem bad so far.

He surfaced.

Ford was already on shore, on hands and knees, desperately coughing out water, his lungs burning. He collapsed in the sand. It took a couple minutes for him to reach the point where he was breathing more than he was coughing, and another minute of heavy breathing before he had the energy to look at the lake again. Bill was floating on his back about fifty feet away, very still.

Ford croaked, "Bill," coughed again, and tried a little louder. "Bill?"

Without otherwise moving, Bill raised one arm and gave him a thumbs-up.

Ford dug into what energy reserves he still had, shuffled back into the water, and swam over to Bill. "Are you all right?"

Bill gave him a dazed look, opened his mouth, and exhaled a cup of water. Then he started coughing. 

Ford grimaced. "Let's... get to shore." He took Bill's arm to tug him toward dry land.

Bill flailed upright and shoved him off. "Don't—" Hack. "M'fine. I l—" Cough. "I like floating." He lay on his back, shut his eyes, and said shakily, "Don't touch me."

Ford treaded water for a moment, considering that. Bill looked like he'd got the hang of floating enough that he wasn't an immediate drown risk, so Ford said, "I'll... be on land."

"'Kay."

Ford swam to shore and sat cross-legged in the wet sand to wait, staring down at his hands. The Handwitch's ring was a bright indigo blue again, no traces of darkness within the cabochon, as though the lake water had washed it clean.

Should he go do something useful? There weren't many places Bill could go, except to shore; it wasn't like he was at risk of escaping. But then if Bill did make it to land while Ford was distracted, he had a chance to make a run for it without the bracelet—

Ford stood up. "Bill! Where's Dipper?!"

Bill raised one arm and pointed up.

Ford looked at Gravity Peak. A small speck high above, Dipper was looking down over the cliff's edge. Ford waved to him. Dipper waved back. Well. That was inconvenient. Maybe Ford could restrain Bill with the infinity belt's cable in the meantime. (He reeled the cable in while he was thinking about it. He was fortunate it hadn't tangled on anything while he was underwater.)

"We have to rendezvous with Dipper. Get over here."

"Just leave me."

"Not an option."

Bill let out a pitiable whine, but, after a moment, managed to figure out a way to slowly paddle-kick his way toward land.

When his heels hit sand, he rolled over, crawled onto land, and lay down. "Gravity," he groaned. "I hate gravity."

"I'm not too fond of it myself right now." Ford's limbs felt like lead. Some combination of spending a day and a half in steadily reduced gravity, the exhaustion following a near death experience, and waterlogged clothes. "Where are the enchanted bracelets?"

Bill lifted one hand from the elbow and pointed toward the cliff again.

That'd be just Ford's luck. All the same, he said, "Really?" Bill would hide them if they were on him.

"Yes, really. Whaddaya want, a strip search?" He gestured vaguely toward his body without lifting his head. "Go ahead. 'M not moving to help." His arm flopped back down.

Ford decided that was a bluff he did not want to call. "Fine. We'll put them back on when we rendezvous with Dipper." If Bill tried to escape, Ford wasn't sure he was in any condition to chase; but then Bill didn't seem to be in any condition to run, either.

"Surprised you wanna wear matching bracelets with me. If I'd known, I woulda made you a friendship bracelet." Under his breath, Bill muttered at the sand, "But m'sure it'd've been a waste of thread."

Ford decided it was more prudent to hold his tongue. "Can you walk?"

"If I have to." For as difficult as Bill made getting to his feet look, one would think he was being subjected to the gravity of Jupiter. Ford offered his hand; Bill smacked it aside.

"Well. My raft is still in the cave behind Trembley Falls, so we'll have to borrow a boat." Ford pointed toward Tate & Backle's Bait & Tackle at the far end of the lake. "Think you can make it that far?"

Bill—barefoot, soggy, and slumped like he had the whole weight of the world on his shoulders—gave Ford the most pathetic look he'd ever seen Bill wear. Ford empathized completely. But Bill only sighed and said, "Let's get going."

####

Tate lowered his magazine to give Ford a critical look. "Dr. Pines," he said. "You get caught out on the lake when the gravity came back?"

"Something like that."

He shook his head. "Shoulda listened to the news."

"The news?"

"Dad's been making public warnings since yesterday. 'Stay anchored and keep your head down.' Reckon you must've missed it."

"We've... been camping." He'd have to ask Fiddleford about that later. "Listen—do you have a boat we could borrow? It's an emergency. We were separated from Dipper and we have to get across the lake."

Tate raised his hat just enough to give Ford a look that told him exactly what he thought of his merit as a guardian—Ford figured he deserved that—but then stood with a sigh. "All right, I'll see what we've got."

He paused, then gestured behind Ford with his chin. "Who's the lady?"

Ford turned. The shop's door was propped open and Bill was leaning in the doorway, arms crossed tight, staring blankly out across the lake. "Er—Goldie. She's... staying in the shack a few weeks."

"Hm." Tate raised his voice. "Ma'am?"

Bill didn't budge.

"Ma'am—Miss Goldie?"

That time he turned to give Tate a faraway look. "Me?"

"Yes, uh—you're soaked to the bone. Would you like to borrow some dry clothes?"

"Oh." Bill considered the question for a little longer than necessary. "If you want."

Ford explained, "She inhaled a lot of water."

Tate nodded. "Think we've got some out-of-season stock in the back, there might be something big enough for..." He caught himself before insinuating something about a lady's weight, and mumbled, "Well, it'll do." He headed to a door behind the counter, paused, looked Ford over, and reluctantly said, "I s'pose you can get something too."

####

Tate had a motorboat in good working order, so he let them borrow it, with a stern request to have it back by the end of the day. And so they set out—Ford in waders that went up to his chest, a bandana he really hoped was keeping his embarrassing neck tattoo hidden, and a t-shirt that said "The worst day of fishing is better than the best day of court-ordered anger management classes"; and Bill in a makeshift skirt Tate had apologetically improvised out of a beach towel, a sweater depicting a pine tree constructed out of fish that said "MERRY FISHMAS", and a pair of novelty slippers shaped like rainbow trout.

"I'm never giving these shoes back," Bill informed Ford as they crossed the lake. "I don't care whether we buy them or steal them. They're hilarious." It was the nearest thing to personality Bill had demonstrated since landing in the lake.

Ford supposed he was in no position to tell Bill he couldn't keep them, considering that Bill had... well.

Well.

Ford should say something about that. He didn't know what. He didn't know where to start. (Bill's question came back to him: if Ford didn't believe anything Bill said, why did he keep trying to pry information out of him?)

(Because, he realized—beneath thirty years of every nerve in his body screaming "DON'T TRUST HIM"—part of him was still hoping Bill would say something he could believe.)

Ford cleared his throat. "It's... impressive that you didn't panic while you were underwater," he said awkwardly. "That must have taken remarkable self control."

"Oh. Eh." Bill spread his hands vaguely. "I wasn't really paying attention to what was happening. I was thinking about other stuff."

Ford blinked. "While you were drowning?"

"It wasn't a very severe drowning."

Ford huffed.

This was probably a conversation he should have later—Bill's brain only appeared to be half on—but, if they had it later, Ford wasn't sure he'd get anything but yet another polished lie. 

And so he steeled his nerves and asked, "Why did you save me."

Bill didn't answer. He stared silently at his rainbow trout slippers.

"Bill—?"

"Hold on," he said. "I don't know, just—give me a minute to make something up."

It was the first time in a month and a half—the first time in years—that Ford was absolutely certain Bill had just told him the truth.

And not just about his intentions to lie to Ford—but about not knowing why he'd saved him.

It meant there was no secret master plan, no manipulative ulterior motives, no cunning illusions. It meant Bill had endangered himself just to save Ford.

There was a universe where Ford then said, "I didn't think you meant it all those times you said you wanted to be my friend again," and where Bill lied—both to Ford and to himself—"I didn't think I meant it either." It wasn't this universe, because neither one of them wanted those words out in the world. Yet they still hovered around them, unspoken.

It didn't make Ford trust Bill. It didn't make Ford like Bill. Bill was still everything he'd ever been—liar, conman, tyrant, torturer—and Ford still hated him for all of it.

But. It meant that for the first time in a month in a half, a muscle between Ford's shoulder blades that had been knotted tight with fear could finally loosen and relax.

Ford was safe.

####

(I first had the idea for this chapter nearly a year ago and I've been dying waiting to post it. I hope you enjoyed, and I can't wait to hear what y'all think! And to those of you in the path of totality, happy solar eclipse this Monday! I totally planned it this way. I did not.)

[writtenbyan-aries]

Summary: Request on Wattpad - “Could u write on where y/n is a friend of Sam and colby and they invite her to a party with the intention to seduce her at said party, so the whole night they flirt with y/n and tease and touch her. When they notice that she's all riled up and confused they invite her upstairs and shit gets freakydeakey, like pure filth and name calling and stuffAnd they mostly focus on her but like that thing where they're like "you got your fun, now it's our turn to get our fun" I hope it makes sense”

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, alcohol drinking, pot smoking, unprotected sex with both Sam and Colby, creampie, choking, biting, sexual inuendos, praising, dirty talk, heavy teasing, filth filth and filth

Since Halloween is coming up… I’ll do a costume party.. you’re welcome so there is slight references to the devil and other stuff like that.

Word Count: 5.7k | not really edited yet

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You put in your headband that had your white feathery halo attached to the top of it and looked in the mirror, "Hey, mick? You almost ready?"

You applied your red lipstick, pressing your lips together a few times before leaning back up, "They guys told us not to be late."

"The guys can wait, not like our lives revolve around them anyway." Mick says walking into the room.

Your life actually did revolve around them, you liked them. Both. A lot. But no one really knows it. They really can't. So you play it off, "You're obviously not as excited for this party as I am, so what gives?"

She lays on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, "Rough day, I guess. I need to get drunk, so.." she jumps up, her tinted pigtails bouncing as she does, "I'm excited for alcohol."

Your phone dings and you pull it out from your purse, smiling as you see it's a selfie that Sam sent of him and Colby, Hurry up and get here. We can't wait to see what costume we'll be taking off of you tonight

You roll your eyes, replying, Don't threaten me with a good time, with three added laughing faces.

It was always joke, after joke, after joke. You just wish they would finally give in to you being their girlfriend, hell, you'd even settle for being their little play thing at this point.

Colby pops up in the group chat, only one way to find out if he's joking. Get your ass hereeee!!

You bit your lip, on my way.

You were getting your hopes up, at this point you were excited for alcohol, too. But then again, alcohol, with them looking as hot as they do, probably not a good mix.

But as Colby said, there's only one way to really find out.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You arrive at the house, and it's absolutely decked out. Orange lights, pumpkins lit on each step leading up to the door, and of course the music is loud as shit.

"They really go all out, don't they?" Mick says leaning into you as you walk up the steps. You laugh slightly and look at her, "They hunt ghosts for a living, Mick. Of course they do."

She laughs and shakes her head, "Yeah, you're right." You make your way to the door that's open and has people flowing in and out of it.

"I'm going to go find a drink, you want one?" She yells to you as she looks around. You nod, "yes please and actually mix it with something."

She laughs as she walks away and you stand there, dressed in your white lingerie, mini skirt, and heels as you try to find someone you actually care to talk to.

Your small angel wings run against your arms and your heels click against the balloon filled floor as you walk.

"Hey angel."

You smirk, you'd know that voice any day, "Sam." You say turning around. He holds out an alcohol filled blood bag, "Thirsty?"

You slide it from his grasp and look at it, then back to him dressed up as a vampire, "Fitting. Very fitting." He smirks and looks you up and down and before he says anything, Colby walks up behind you, "Are you lost?"

You turn and look at him confused, "Am I what?"

"Heaven is a long, long way from here." Colby smirks slowly and your face softens as you laugh, "Ah, that's a good one, Colby. Thank you."

He looks you up and down, "Damn." He glances at Sam, "fitting isn't it?"

You look at Sam, "Huh?" He shakes his head, "Don't worry about that right now, sweetheart."

"Have you guys been drinking already?" You raise your eyebrows and look between them. They both smile and look at each other, nodding while they laugh.

"I need to catch up." You mumble as you push your way through the crowded house, trying to even catch a glimpse of Mick.

"Finally. I've been waiting for my drink." You sigh as you rest your hands on the counter, the bag Sam gave you still in your grasp.

Mick nods towards it, "where did that come from?"

You look at her and look down, "Oh. Yeah, Sam gave this to me." You shrug and toss it down on the counter, thinking about it quickly before opening it and drinking it.

"Oh my god, what the hell is in these?" You make a face and quickly chase it with a shot of something that isn't alcohol.

"That is cranberry juice and vodka." Sam says walking up beside you to make himself another drink. You look over at him, fighting back a smile, "You forgot the cranberry juice."

Mick hands you a drink before she walks away, and to your surprise, it's actually mixed very well, "Thanks."

Sam gives you the side eye with a smirk, "Lightweight."

You want to grab him and kiss him. His smirk drives you insane, along with Colby's.

And speaking of the devil, or to be specific, demon, "So what time do you have to be back in heaven?"

"Are these going to continue all night long?" You spin around, resting your lower back against the counter as you stand between them.

"Depends on how long that costume stays on for." Colby winks at you before walking away with Sam. You watch them as they move away, looking back at you with smirks on their lips.

You bit down on your cup to keep yourself from any embarrassment that might leave your lips. You quickly finish that one and spin around, their eyes still on you, as you pour yourself a drink.

You find Mick, grabbing her and dragging her over to the beer pong table, "Let's get this party started."

"Who wants to play us in pong?" Mick yells, getting almost everyone's attention.

"We will." A tall guy dressed as the joker says as his friend who is dressed as Batman stands next to him, eyeing you up and down.

"Isn't that perfect?" Mick says looking the joker up and down, "Harley Quinn, nice to meet'cha."

You take a long sip of your drink, turning towards the table and grabbing one of the pong balls, mumbling quietly, "Let's go."

You turn to Batman and hand him the other ball, "We'll shoot for first shot, yeah?"

"Anything for you, angel." He winks behind his mask and he walks over to the other side. Honestly, you loved it when Colby made the angel jokes, but from anyone else, you wanted to puke.

You shoot first, sinking your shot and Batman misses.

"We go first." You get your ball out of the cup and joker hands Mick hers and she giggles, already tipsy, "Thank you, Mr. joker."

You roll your eyes and you go to shoot. You feel both sets of eyes on you, and it wasn't from Batman or joker.

It was from the demon and the vampire who are sitting on the stairs watching your movements. You tried not to let them under your skin, blocking them out, and you sink your shot, Mick's following right behind hours.

"Two in one. We win." You hold your hands up, "Boom."

"What the hell?" Batman says and the crowd cheers for you and Mick. You glance up, Sam and Colby smiling and cheering for you as well.

"Rematch." Joker says extending his arm out, "But we get first shots this time."

You motion to the table, "All yours."

Joker sinks his, Batman doesn't. So you and Mick drink.

You and her shoot, both making it, so you get balls back. Soon enough, you knock them down to two cups, balls back again, and you win the game. You lean forward, resting your palms flat on the table, "Wanna go again?"

Batman tilts his head, "We can do this all night, angel."

And there it is, the ick.

You lean up, "I'm just going to get another drink quick. Mick, go for me." You walked away, heading over to the counter where the alcohol sits.

"So, I take it there's no curfew in heaven, huh?" Colby says walking up beside you. He leans down, resting his elbows and forearms on the countertop and you smile, "Actually, instead of being home at ten, I have to be home at 11."

Colby looks over at the clock on the stove, "looks like you got plenty of time to have fun then." He winks and rests his hand on your lower back as he stands up, "Find me later, we can have a dance before you descend back up to the pearly gates."

He stops and leans back in, "Sam too, can't make him too jealous."

You turn around, ready to ask him what he means, but he's already talking to other people. Your eyes move to the stairs and Sam is sitting there staring at you with a smile. He waves to you and you hold your hand up, in a very confused state.

They couldn't be serious. You shake your head, pouting your cup full of liquor before walking back over to the pong table.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You stumble over to the counter, resting your cup down as you debate on getting another cup. As you go to reach for the almost empty bottle, a voice makes you stop, "You sure you want more?"

You turn around and Sam's body is inches away from yours, "I feel like I kinda need it."

His hand reaches out to play with the crystal beads on your mini skirt, "You know this doesn't cover much right?"

You smirk, "Yeah, it's more for decoration, really." You look up at him, "You'd only know that if you were looking."

"Can't help but stare at the angel who decided to bless our party with her beautiful appearance." He reaches around you grabbing your cup and finishing what you had left in it.

"Hey." You whine out and take your empty cup back, "Not nice."

"I'm a vampire babe, who said I was nice?" He winks, sliding his hand slowly off of your body as he walks away, not giving you a chance to say anything else.

"Babe?" You question to yourself and turn back around slowly. You just wanted to be drunk at this point, you couldn't handle another 'joke' from them, at least if you were hammered you might at least laugh.

You perk your head up, remember what Colby said about finding him for a dance. You smirked slowly as you made your way around, asking if anyone has seen Colby, having no luck.

You make your way out back by the pool area, looking around before you see him sitting with a few other people. They're all passing around a blunt and you watch as Colby takes a hit, tilting his head back to slowly let the smoke roll out.

He brings his head back up, smirking as he sees you. You go to turn away but he calls your name, getting the other people to as well.

You walk over, freezing when you see Sam lean forward from behind the wall, "Look who it is." Sam smirks up at you, "Hey, angel, what can we do for ya."

You smile slightly, feeling awkward as you stand there with everyone's eyes on you, "I was looking for Colby, actually."

Colby raises his eyebrows, "Oh, shit." He smirks and hands the blunt to Corey, "What's up?"

"I need to talk to you." Your eyes move onto Sam. His eyes are squinted as he watches Colby get up and walk over to you. His hand rests right below your wings as he leads you back inside, "What can I do for you?"

"You said about a dance, well I'm here to give it to you." You stop and turn to him and he looks you up and down, eyes meeting yours, "That all you're going to give?"

You take a deep breath, huffing as you push past him and make your way to the downstairs bathroom. Colby follows behind you, "Hey, wait. Slow down."

You glance back at him, shaking your head as you push the door open. He quickly stops you from shutting it and pushes his way in, "I thought you wanted to dance?"

You drop your arms with a sigh, hands slapping your bare thighs, "I-I.." you groan, "Colby." You lay your hands on your face, "I like you, okay? And I like Sam. A lot."

He smirks but doesn't say anything.

After staring at him for a few seconds, you scoff, "Is that a, you don't like me back, because if you don't then I sho-" you go to walk out but he wraps his arm around the front if you and pushes you against the counter, "Did I say I didn't like you back?"

His lips are inches from yours and you've never had a stronger urge to kiss him than right now.

He leans his head back, shaking it slightly with a smile, "Sam will get jealous."

"What the fuck does that even mean? You guys are so weird when it comes to me, I thought I made it pretty clea-"

Colby leans in, pressing his lips to yours, "That's all you're going to get for right now."

"Wh-"

"It's very ironic you dressed as an angel, you know that?" His voice cuts you off, "Dressing up as one of the most pure things in the world, and yet.. you really aren't that much of an angel, are you?"

You shake your head, completely captivated by him and he lets out a low chuckle, "How can you expect to be an angel when you want both of us inside of you?"

His words make you grip his slightly undone black button up, "Colby.." you whimper out and he blows out air, "We should probably get out there.. you know before Sam comes and busts down the door."

"Wait so-"

"Just relax for a little bit and have fun, babe. You deserve it."

He steps back, releasing your hips from his grasp, "Come on, you owe me a dance." He bites his lip as he pulls you to him as he opens the door.

You stop, jumping slightly as you see Sam leaning against the wall across the small hallway, "What's going on in here?"

"Don't worry, man." Colby walks up to him, whispering something into his ear as he grabs his shoulder. A smile slowly grows on Sam's face, "Alright."

You look between them and Sam walks over to you, "Find me when you're done dancing with Colby."

He walks away, making his way to the alcohol counter and Colby wraps his arm around your waist, "Come on."

You make your way to the dance floor as someone puts on Dance (A$$) by Big Shawn. Colby yells along with everyone else and you get right into it.

Colby's hands pressing on your thighs as he grinds into you. He spins you around to face him, pulling you closer. You close your eyes, tilting your head back as you all yell out, "stop..." you look at Colby and you both smirk and say, "Now make that motherfucker hammertime like.."

You start dancing with him again, and soon enough, Sam makes his way in and you dance with him, like you were doing with Colby.

You turn around, grinding your ass on Sam as Colby holds you from the front.

"This what you wanted?" Sam asks lowly into your ear. You nod as you tilt your head back onto his shoulder and look at Colby, "Uh huh."

Sam chuckles lowly into your ear at your response, "Well prove that this little costume doesn't mean anything." His hand slides down between your legs that are on either side of Colby's leg.

You whimper out, worried that people will see and Colby reads you and leans in, "They're all too drunk to care, babe."

Sam presses his fingers hard to your clit and you grind down onto his hand that rests on Colby's, "You put on such an innocent facade, but.." Sam clicks his tongue, "We both know you're more of a devil than a saint."

You nod, completely giving into them, but that wasn't enough.

"Catch you in a bit, angel." Sam moves his hand away and steps away as the song ends. Colby grips your chin between his thumb and the side of his pointer finger, "Told ya."

They walk away, leaving you flustered on the dance floor, bodies bump into you as you stand there in a shocked state.

"Oh my god." Mick says walking up to you. You turn your attention to her, in hopes she didn't just see what happened, "What? What happened?"

"That fucking joker is macking on another Harley Quinn." She pouts, obviously drunk, "Fuck him. Let's dance please."

You weren't sure if you could, but you didn't really have a choice, plus, it wouldn't hurt to prove them right with what they think.

Innocent.

Please. You've went into buildings with them when there was a high chance of getting caught. You summon demons with them, you are far from innocent, or so you thought.

The more you thought about what they meant, it just hurt your head, so you let the music drown it out, take over.

Soon you're dancing as close as you can with Mick.

Your body rolling with here, you guys were the life of the party, until you realized that the people you were dancing for aren't there anymore.

You step back, huffing as you go get another drink. As you're drinking it, you feel a very familiar presence move behind you and lean down, "How about you meet us upstairs, hmm?"

Sam takes your cup, downing the little bit you had left, "This way, angel." He runs his hand down your arm and pulls you with him.

"Where are you taking me?" You ask confused, unsure if your dream was about to become a reality, "Sam?"

He glances back at you, smirking as he wraps his arm around your waist, "a different kind of heaven, sweetheart."

You bit your lip as you're walked into his room. He closes the door and you feel a hand slide up your chest and slowly and gently wrap around your neck, "Glad you could make it. You're way past curfew anyway."

You look at Sam, who's standing there watching Colby whisper to you as his grip on your neck grows tighter, "Looks like you'll be joining us in hell, won't ya?"

He walks you over to the bed, making you get on your knees, your back still pressed against his chest. Sam moves to his knees in front of you, brushing hair from your face, "Do you like it when Colby has his hand around your neck?"

You try to nod, but fail, so you whimper out a quiet, "Yes."

"Your innocent look makes me want to take you downstairs so every time can hear just how much of a whore for us you actually are." Sam traces your bottom lip with his thump and you part them.

His thumb slowly slides in between your lips and you close them around it, swirling your tongue and his own lips part slightly as he lets out a quiet gasp, "See this, Colby? Fuck.."

"I can see right through her act, Sam." Colby leaning, nipping your ear, "The way she looks at you. The way I catch her staring at me.. I know she wants to be our little play thing."

"Please?" You whimper out and reach out for Sam, but Colby stops you, "You've had your fun tonight, now it's our turn."

He lets go of your neck and pushes you to Sam. Your hands rest on his shoulders as his hands tightly grip your waist, "We were never joking, y/n."

He leans in to press his lips against your neck and you close your eyes, "Mm." He leans back, gently grazing his fake fangs over your skin, "We've always wanted you."

Colby leans in, kissing the other side of your neck, his demon horns rubbing against your head, "We've always talked about this."

You reach a hand up to lay it on the back of Colby's head, moaning out quietly as he bites down.

"Just never knew the right time." Sam leans back and scans over your face, "Until we seen you walk through that door in this lustful little costume, knowing exactly what you were doing."

He leans in, moving his lips with yours in a slow fashion.

"You know what you do to us, don't you, baby?" Colby pulls you away from Sam and makes you look at him, raising his eyebrows, indicating he wants you to respond.

"Yes." You nod and he tilts his head, "Yes what? Use your words, baby."

"I know what I do to you both." You look into his eyes and he smirks, "Tell us." You bite your lip taking a deep breath as you let out a soft moan at Sam's hand on your thinly covered pussy.

"I tease you." You admit, "I turn you on."

"That you fucking do." Sam says leaning in closer, "tell us how you want us to treat you.”

"L-like a whore." You whimper out as Sam slips his fingers between your costume and skin, "Is that what you want?"

Colby unzips your body suit as you nod, "Yes, yes. Please." You moan as Sam slips two fingers into you.

"Tell us how." Colby slips your straps down your shoulders, making sure to leave your wings on you. His hands slide to your boobs, kneading them.

"Fuck me." You tilt your head back to rest onto his shoulder, "Use me."

"Planned on it, angel." Sam whispers as he pulls his fingers out, "Lay back."

You lay back and their hands roam up and down your body slowly, "Should we take this off?" Sam glances up at Colby and he nods, "she's playing with satan's houseboys tonight."

His words make your stomach do a flip and your eyes move constantly between them as they take off your white bodysuit, leaving you naked in nothing but your wings and halo.

"Sam.." you whimper out as you reach for him with one hand, "Colby.." as you reach for him with your other, "Please?"

They both move to either side of you, Colby's hand slowly working its way in between your legs. Sam hooks his arm under your leg, holding it open as Colby rubs his fingers up and down your needy cunt, "She's so fucking wet."

"She probably always is for us." Sam leans in, rubbing his nose gently up and down your cheek, "Aren't ya?"?

You nod, "Always."

Colby dips his fingers in, slowly curling them as he watches your eyes flutter closed, "Keep them open."

Your eyes snap open and you fight to keep them open as he thrusts his fingers in and out. Sam's hand slides over, pressing little circles onto your clit, "You gonna cum for us?"

You nod, arching your back, "Yes, yes yes."

"She's such a little slut." Colby says lowly was he leans down to take your one nipple into his mouth. Sam follows his actions with your other one, causing your brain to become fuzzy.

You gasp, laying your hands on the back of their heads, moaning as you clench around Colby's fingers, "Fuckfuck, y-yes."

"There ya go, baby." Sam moves to kiss up your neck, leaving a trail of tiny hickies to prove to everyone that you're really not an angel after all.

Colby pulls his hand so he can stand up, "I want that mouth of hers right now." Colby undoes his pants, pushing them down to get rid of them.

You watch as he moves over, pulling you up to you're on your knees. He leans round you, looking at Sam, "You want her on your face?"

"Fuck, come here." He lays back, gripping your hips to guide you over to where he wants you. Colby moves down by Sam's legs, gripping your chin so he can tilt your head up, "Sit down, whore."

You bite your lip, smirking slightly as you let your hips rest down. Your nails dig into the fabric of Sam's pants as his tongue slips into you.

Colby strokes his cock a few times as he watch your face scrunch up with the pleasure from being eaten out by Sam, "You're so fucking sexy. Now open those slutty little lips for me."

Your lips part, a moan escaping as you look up at him, waiting for his cock to slip past them. His own lip pulls between his teeth, muffling a moan as he slides his cock in as far as it will go.

"Have at it, angel." He winks down at you. You moan against him as you bring your right hand up, wrapping it around his cock. You start to bob your head, moaning out as Sam pulls your hips down to him more.

Colby brushes hair from your face, holding the sides of your head with his hands, "That's it, baby. Fuck.." Colby tilts his head down, watching you devour his cock.

You clench around Sam's tongue, your moans muffled by Colby's cock as you cum.

"Y/n.." Colby moans out, "Fuck, fuck. Cum on his face, that's it. Good girl." Your eyes move up to him, indicating that you liked it.

He smirks, moaning lowly as he shakes his head slightly, "Fuck, angel. You keep looking at me like that and I'll cum." He pulls his cock out and moves down to press his lips to yours, "We don't want that yet."

You reach up, grabbing his shirt as Sam gets you to cum again.

"Fuck, again? Sam must really be doing a number on you, huh?" Colby chuckles as he kisses you, swallowing your moan with ease.

"Fuck." Sam pulls away with a sigh, "Colby, you need to taste her."

"Do you want me between those legs next?" Colby tilts your head up to look at him and you nod, "Yes, Colby."

He smirks, "lay down."

You move off of Sam and lay on your back across the bed so your head is handing slightly off the edge. Colby moves in between your legs, pushing them open and not wasting another second.

His lips attach to your clit, sucking as your neck arches off the bed, "Oh fuck." You grip the blanket below you, pulling as Colby eats you out.

Sam watches as he gets himself ready then steps towards you, tapping the head of his cock of your lips.

You open your eyes, moaning out as he glides his cock into your mouth. He groans and lays a hand on your head, "Oh, angel."

Colby digs his fingers into your hips as he groans against you. You dig your heels into his back as you clench around his tongue.

"Be a good little slut and cum for Colby." Sam says, "We know you want to."

Sam's words push you over the edge, spilling yourself onto Colby. Your moans are muffled as Sam's cock is pushed and held into your mouth.

Your eyes roll back and your chest is rising and falling quickly.

"Again, wouldn't be fair that you came for me twice and him once." Sam chuckles but it's quickly turns into a moan as you hallow out your cheeks.

"F-fuck.." he gasps and reaches down to play with your boobs, kneading them and pinching and pulling at your nipples.

"Cum for Colby, whore." Sam's voice is low and raspy, you can tell his trying not to cum himself, "Fuck." He pulls his cock out, bending down to kiss you as you finally reach that second orgasm from Colby.

"You want first go?" Colby looks at Sam as he crawls up your body. Your eyes move to Sam and his meet yours, "I'd be honored to ruin her first."

Your heart skips a beat and Colby leans down, kissing you. You moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue before he stands up.

You feel Sam grab your ankles and flip you around so you're on your stomach. He brings your hips up, teasingly sliding his cock up and down your achingly wet cunt.

Colby moves down to your eye level, "I want everyone at this party to hear those pretty little slutty sounds.

You nod, gasping as Sam pushes his cock into you fully. His grip on your hips is harsh, "Oh shit." He slowly pulls out and slowly pushes back in, feeling how well you hug his cock with the walls of your pussy, "shit."

Your head falls down, resting on the bed as you arch your back, pushing your hips up and back, "Fuck, Sam."

"That feel good?" Colby asks, "let everyone know."

You let out a loud moan, lifting your head up to look at Colby as Sam rails into you from behind, "Fuck." You practically scream, already clenching his cock, "Oh my god."

Colby chuckles, cupping your cheeks with his hands, "Let Sam know how good it feels, angel.”

Sam groans, pulling your hips back to meet his as he pushes fully inside, resting there, "Tell me, baby."

"You feel so good." You say quickly.

"Louder." Sam and Colby say in unison and Sam starts to thrust again, a smirk plastered on his lips.

"Sam!" You scream out, "you feel so good."

"Cum for him, then it's my turn with you." Colby leans in, slowly making out with you, "you're being such a good little slut."

You push your hips back, rocking them as you cum, moans being ripped from your lips left and right, "Fuck, fuck fuck."

Sam slows his thrusts down, pulling out as he tells you to turn around. You sluggishly pull away from Colby and spin around to face Sam.

You feel Colby's hands slide up your legs and over your achy slit before gripping your hips. You take Sam's cock into your mouth before he can tell you.

"Good fucking girl, angel." He moans out breathless, "Fucking hell."

Colby moans deeply as he slips his cock into you, "Shit, I wanna cum already."

You moan around Sam's cock and he nods, "Uh huh."

Colby quickly builds up into a punishing pace. You let out choked moans as your eyes roll back. Sam pulls his cock out, handing down to eye level like Colby did, "Tell em. Let them hear how good we make you feel, angel."

Sam bushes hair from your face, and lifts your head so he can wrap his hand around your neck, "Tell Colby, baby. Tell us how much of a slut you are for us."

"I'm your slut." You whimper out and Sam shakes his head, "Louder, angel."

You swallow as Sam's grip on your throat tightens, "I'm your fucking slut. Whore. Fucking shit, Colby you feel so good."

Colby groans, "Fuck, again. Say it again."

"I-I'm your whore." You lock eyes with Sam, "I'm your fucking slut."

"That a girl." Sam presses his lips to your forehead and looks at Colby who nods at him.

"We're going to cum together, okay." Sam rubs your cheek, "hold it for us until we say."

You nod and gasp as he lets go of your throat, standing up to put his cock back into your mouth. Both Sam and Colby are thrusting into you, Colby harder than Sam.

You're a mess between both of them, wanting to collapse but you're trying so hard to hold it together.

"I'm filling this pussy. Sam can tomorrow." Colby groans and you moan around Sam's cock.

"Fuck, colbs, I don't think I can last any longer." Sam groans, "Fuck, she's so fucking good."

"Wish we would have done this sooner." Colby moans and his thrusts get sloppy, along with Sam's. You feel their cocks twitching inside of you and you taste Sam as he runs down your tongue and down your throat.

You suck him clean, moaning together as he pulls out. Colby pushes his cock in deeper here pulling out, "Fuck, is she okay?"

Your body falls onto the bed slowly as your chest rises and falls fast, "Mhm."

"Need you to tell us, angel." Sam whispers as he runs a hand over your forehead. You opened your eyes and look at him, "I've always wanted this. I'm great."

Sam smirks and looks at Colby, "Think we should call it a night?"

Colby shrugs, "I mean, if she's up here, I'm up here."

Sam agrees, "You're more scary than I am so you go kick these people out." Colby chuckles as he slips his pants back on, "Already on it."

Sam works at getting you cleaned up, taking off your wings and halo and setting them down with your bodysuit, "Did such a good job." He presses his lips to your forehead.

"Never knew if you guys were always joking around like you usually do." You whisper as you shift around in the bed, finding a comfortable position.

He shrugs, "At first it was, but then we got to talking and we both like you.. and we know you like us, we picked up in that a while ago."

You laugh slightly, body starting to ache, "Well I'm happy that it happened."

He nods and sits down next to you, "Us, too."

Colby walks back in, "Alright, where were we?"

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[sports-on-sundays]

countertop make out sesh with marc guiu and someone walks in?🤭

stupid with love / Marc Guiu

Summary: Marc x girlfriend!reader - Sometimes there's a consequence to getting too carried away...

Warnings: well I'm just going to say it may get a little heated, I don't write scenes like this *often* so I hope it's good but we'll see

Requested: Yes.

Author's Note: 🤭 Thank you anon for the request! Sorry if it's not up to your expectation, because I don't write things like this often, but regardless, I hope you enjoy!

"There you are."

You look up from your phone and meet the brown eyes of Marc Guiu, who is standing in the doorway.

He continues into the kitchen, walking closer, "I've been looking for you. Why're you in here? Everyone else is in the living room..."

"I know," you shrug. "It's just... I don't know. It got a little loud."

Marc invited some of his friends, including a lot of the Barcelona guys, to his house for a little hang out. Of course, that also included you, being his girlfriend and all. But that's just it. The only people who know that you're dating are you and him.

And when you haven't seen each other in a while because you're both busy with your work and vacations and obligations, it gets tough to have him right in front of you, but be unable to shower him with love.

"Is everything okay?" he questions, leaning against the counter next to you.

You shrug a bit. "I don't know. I guess. It's just hard, you know... I've missed you, and I have to, you know, pretend to just be your friend, in front of all the guys. I haven't seen you in too long... And it's hard to fake it."

Suddenly, he takes a step so that he's standing in front of you, facing you, instead of next to you. Immediately, with the swift motion, his hands meet your waist, gently, and he says softer, "No, no. I understand. Completely."

And you catch the glint in his eye. "Hey, hey..." you murmur. "Calm down. Maybe we should just..."

"Just what?" he questions, clearly fighting a cheeky smirk. "I've missed you too... you know..." he murmurs, leaning closer. "And I'm sure no one will come into the kitchen... They're all too distracted to even notice we're gone..."

Your eyes search his as you feel your face heating up. "What are you planning on doing, Marc?" you ask softly, not meaning it as an invite, but more just a questioning.

But he takes it as an invite.

Your boyfriend slowly leans in, and gently tucks your hair behind your ear, before his hand returns to your waist. You feel his hot breath tickle your ear as he whispers, "Don't worry... Just enough to show you how much I've missed you..."

"Marc..." you murmur back, "you know this is stupid..."

He chuckles a little, hums, and responds, "Then maybe I'm stupid..." With his hands, he pushes your lower back into the counter, before gently lifting you and slipping you onto the counter, so that your faces are level, since he's taller than you.

And then his smooth, pink lips kiss you right below your ear lobe, and continue with a trail of kisses all down your jawline. You feel yourself heating up as his hands gently glide along your waist.

He leans away a bit, staring at you in your eyes, and you inhale as he leans back in again, and his lips meet yours. He starts kissing you gently, with soft touches of his lips against yours, causing butterflies to fly up in your stomach. But he slowly leans in more, tilting his head, pushing his mouth more into yours in a passionate kiss, telling you how much he's missed you through it. Your heart pounds in your chest as his hands gently slip under your shirt, and grip the bare skin on your waist slightly tighter. You gently allow your lips to slightly part, inviting his tongue to slip inside. His breath is quickened, and you can feel the warmth coming from his body as he presses his strong chest more into you.

Your hands travel to his lower back, and you pull him more into you, feeling the soft fabric of his shirt between your fingers. When Marc finally pulls away, breathing heavier, you warn smoothly, staring into his half-lidded eyes, "Nobody better find us..."

"Stop worrying..." he whispers back, leaning in closer once again. "Give yourself to me. It'll be okay... Just let me have you."

You exhale shakily but nod as your heart rate quickens and his lips meet yours once again, knowing you've reached the point of no return, and there's no going back now. You feel his hands slowly moving higher under your shirt, and a shiver of excitement fills your body as you let yourself melt into him, and you intensely return the emotions in his heated kisses. All the worries flow out of you as trust replaces them, not even caring anymore as the electricity of pleasure fills your body. He then gently nibbles your lip, which gets a shaky gasp out of you, and you clutch his back tighter as he delicately begins to purr about how beautiful you are. How lucky he is have you. And how he can't keep his hands off of you.

The movement of his body over yours makes you feel weak, and you're glad you're sitting on the counter, rather than leaning against it.

"Oh, just shut up..." you say with a soft giggle, your stomach tightening at the subtle, hungry look in his eyes, "and keep kissing me."

He lets out a quiet grunt before responding, "I've missed you so much, love..."

Your breath catches in your throat as his hands trace your torso softly, and he kisses your neck, giving it a gentle nibble. You let out another breathy gasp as your body quivers and he returns to your lips for more fervent kisses. His hands continue to travel further up, softly, and you feel a rush of desire and anticipation run through your whole body at how close to your chest his hands are getting, like he's teasing you.

He pushes in closer with another very soft grunt. Nothing and no one else exists right now other than you and Marc, and the feelings of connection, the shock of electricity, between the two of you.

So that's why it happens to fast and confusing when a voice in the outside world screams, "Ah- whoa! What the actual hell?!" and Marc tears himself away from you.

Your eyes shoot open, and you lean back on your hands on the counter, panting.

And your whole body freezes when your brain catches up, and there is Lamine Yamal, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

Oh God. It just had to be the sixteen-year-old?!

He looks utterly shocked, and it's Marc who is the first one to act. He suddenly says, "Hey, you better not tell anyone what you just saw!"

"Uh..." is all the boy manages.

"No one. Got it?" Marc asks, his hand still lingering on your thigh, as if he doesn't even realize it.

"I'm, uh... traumatized," comments Lamine, slowly taking a step back.

"Traumatized?" you retort. "Give me a break! And you said you're such a romantic! Why are you even in here, anyway?" You're still hot, and feeling extremely embarrassed and somewhat indignant.

Despite it all, you kind of like Marc's hand gently remaining on you.

"I was just coming in for some snacks!"

You groan, "Marc, he's going to tell everybody!"

"You better not, you-"

"I won't!" Lamine squeals, taking another step back. You would laugh, if what happened hadn't just happened.

"Yeah, right," Marc snorts ruefully.

Lamine hesitates in the awkwardness of the situation, before saying, "I mean... so, you guys are dating, then?"

"If we are, it doesn't concern you, because nobody needs to know if we are or not," Marc claims, finally taking his hand away from you to cross his arms across his chest.

"So you are..." he says, a mischievous look on his face.

"You're sixteen!" you snap in disapproval. "Go and play with your toy trucks, for God's sake!"

"You're, only, like, three years older than me!" Lamine fires back, clearly kind of shaken by seeing his teammate with his hands under a girl's shirt, about to do-

Well, you know exactly what he was about to do, and you were looking forward to it, before Lamine had to walk in on you and ruin it.

"Well, you're the two that decided it was a smart idea to do this when you know-" Lamine starts up again, but is interrupted by Marc retorting, "You stop it. Now go back to the guys, and we'll be in there in a minute!"

"Oh, you want me to leave so you can make out more?" taunts the basically twelve-year-old.

This causes you to go even redder as Marc snaps, "No, actually!"

"Well, I'm going to have to go tell the boys about this, now... Too big not to..." He turns on his heel and leaves the kitchen playfully, but Marc calls, taking off after him, "You better not, you little idiot!"

You sit, left alone on the kitchen counter with your thoughts. You run a hand over your face, and despite it all, a soft, disbelieving smile appears on your face, as you know Marc would do anything, even wrestle his own teammate, to protect you, your reputation, and your relationship.

And you know Marc will be getting a scolding later, too, for this.

[lsunstreakerl]

aaaaand the 550 word follow up of Gianpiero's first nest.

Max has his back against the wall, watching as Gianpiero pulls another blanket out of the box. The delivery had surprised him- he wasn't sure what Gianpiero possibly could have ordered to need such a huge container, but apparently it's some kind of... nesting kit.

He's not entirely sure.

Gianpiero stares at the assorted soft things on the ground and the couch, hands on his hips.

"I don't suppose you have any idea how we're supposed to do this?"

Max does not. He's a little confused on why Gianpiero is nesting- he may have dropped out of school, but it's somewhat common knowledge that alphas can't build a nest.

Maybe Gianpiero has a condition or something. A medical need to nest.

Gianpiero blows out all his air, rolling his sleeves up.

"Alright then. It can't be that hard."

------

Max quietly pulls up another article forum about 'building a nest as an alpha'. He's been opening them in new tabs for Gianpiero, because it had taken all of twenty minutes for him to realize it is hard.

Gianpiero squints at the screen.

"What does that mean, 'additional ambience'? How am I supposed to do that?"

Max shrugs- it's not like he knows. He's never made a nest before, and even though he's always heard about how it's 'instinct', it's an instinct he doesn't seem to have.

Even looking at the living room, all he can think is that it's a bit of a travesty- there's no urge to fix it.

Gianpiero turns back to the living room.

"Okay, get it together GP. You've got walls, and the fluffy floor, and it 'looks round'- whatever that means."

He throws his hands up.

"But it doesn't look like a nest."

Max slides out of his chair, quietly padding over to Gianpiero's side. Not too close- but close enough to look at it from the same angle Gianpiero is looking from.

He hasn't seen a whole lot of nests, but it looks nest-adjacent. It's maybe missing a pillow here and there, if Max had to guess.

Gianpiero looks from Max to the nest, dejected.

"I think this might be the best I can do. I'm sorry, Max."

Gianpiero doesn't need to be sorry- that's stupid. Max doesn't need a nest at all, but if Gianpiero needs one...

He carefully grabs one of the pillows from the box, gingerly settling it in one of the sadder looking corners.

He steps back next to Gianpiero, who's looking softy at him, scent smoothing into something warm and proud.

"I think you fixed it, honestly. It looks much better now."

Max raises an eyebrow.

Gianpiero winces.

"Okay- it looks more like a nest than whatever I was doing."

All Max did was add a pillow.

They're both lingering at the edge of it, but Max pauses, confused. It's...

Culturally, he's pretty sure an alpha is supposed to ask an omega if they can come into the nest.

But this is technically Gianpiero's nest. As in, he built it. So does Max need to wait for Gianpiero to tell him it's okay?

He blinks at Gianpiero.

Gianpiero blinks at him.

"How about we both just use it, and we'll keep the etiquette breach between us?"

Max can get behind that plan.

[curseofaphrodite]

Midnight Chase

REGULUS BLACK X READER

one more marauders fic before I move onto Avengers :) Also, I keep writing Reggie as moody and silent so I wanted to explore the headcanon of him being more like his brother. Have some flirty and sarcastic Regulus for a change!

"Let's try to see this in a positive light," James said, in the middle of the pitch-dark forest which was possibly infested with dementors or worse. "We could think of this as camping!"

Your groan was in sync with Lily's.

"Right, Sirius? Didn't we always want to go camping—?"

"Oh I don't know, I'm not sure I find the death-eaters-made-us-dissapparate-to-an-unknown-forest-while-a-literal-war-is-going-on part all too pleasant!" Sirius replied, which was the closest to a disagreement he had with James. The latter feigned hurt.

"We're all tired," you sighed. "Let's just find a place to rest and we can go back to the headquarters in the morning."

"What if it's too late then?" Sirius said, almost nervous. His mood being depressive was very unlike his usual self, but you weren't too surprised either. The Order was the closest thing to a family Sirius had, and it seemed as if everyone's lives were hanging on by a thread.

"We'll be fine," James, ever the mother of the group, tried his cheerfulness again. "I'll pull up Hogly's tent charm and—"

"No!" Lily said quickly. "Are you stupid? Don't answer that. If we use magic, there's a good chance they'll trace us to where we are."

"But we're of age," Sirius said, outraged. "The Ministry wouldn't trace us — unless, yeah they're infiltrated. That makes sense."

"No magic?" James's mouth fell open. "At least we could use lumos?"

"No," you shook your head. "It's better not to take any chances."

"But then how would we see?"

Even in the darkness, you could feel Lily's gaze on the back of your head. Being two muggle-born witches of the group, you realized there was a lot you needed to do to survive the night.

"Bring me a couple of sticks. And dried leaves. Lots of them."

---------------------------------------------------------

THREE HOURS LATER

---------------------------------------------------------

Light snores came around you, but you were far from asleep. If your guess was right, it was over two in the morning, so the sun would be coming up soon anyway. It took everything in you to focus on the stars and not on the events that led you to apparate here.

Y/N! Get out of the way! Moody had yelled as the death eaters appeared. It was your first time seeing them in cloaks and lifeless masks. You felt exposed, but with the headquarters three feet away, you couldn't run in and let the death eaters follow you.

Moody's sound from the inside had already tipped them off, but they couldn't find the location of the safehouse as long as the charms held up.

Feet rooted to the spot, you felt ashamed to feel your hands shaking.

Can't even hold my wand right, you thought to yourself. And as if on point, your friends had gotten out of the house and placed themselves by your side. If you couldn't get in, they weren't going to let you get outnumbered on your own.

Sirius, Lily, and James were three of the bravest people you knew, but you couldn't let them get hurt on your behalf.

So you did what you should have done at the start. You held on to Lily's hand who grabbed James by instinct. Sirius was to your left, so you placed your other hand on his shoulder, and with every inch of your determination left, you disapparated on the spot.

Now with the same guilt washing over you, was it even a surprise that you couldn't sleep? You won't rest your eyes for five seconds before you let your friends get in the headquarters safely without any nasty surprises.

A soft rustle interrupted your dark thoughts. Being hyper-alert as you were, you snapped your neck towards the source. Another rustle rang out — this one sharper than the last. You stood up, cautiously walking to the root of the sound.

Bunny. Please let it be a soft, cute bunny.

You held your wand high, and someone — a human — let out a startled sound. More rustles followed, and before you could figure out what was happening, a person dashed off right in front of you.

"Hey, STOP!" Was it stupid to follow a stranger in the middle of nowhere simply because they appeared scared? Yes. Did you do it anyway? Also yes.

Both of you sprinted through the forest, the trees being a bare blur. They refused to slow down, so you kept up the chase. The adrenaline helped through most of it though the unknown silhouette was almost non-human in its speed. You pushed harder with your muscles burning, and finally, with a hopeless leap, you collided with the stranger.

They hit the ground hard, rolling over the damp earth. The impact knocked the wind from your lungs. Your fingers dug into the rough fabric and the stranger's hood fell back.

You gasped.

"Regulus?!"

He looked shocked to the core, either from your strength or from the fact you knew his name.

"How do you even know me?" he asked, his voice a whisper from all the gasping for air.

You pointed your wand at his throat.

"Well, you're a little unrecognizable without your mask."

His face drained what's remaining of the blood.

"I just wanted to — can you stop poking that thing inside my nose?"

"I'll poke it wherever I want, you traitorous little scrumbag!"

"I thought you were above that sort of thing."

"Why would you think I'm above name calling?"

"No, the poke it wherever you want part."

Your face reddened. "Shut up while I decide what to do with you."

He laughed. "I'm sorry, it's like you're not hearing yourself!"

Why the fuck is the usual depressed emo Regulus Black as happy as can be? Then again, it was the midnight in a deadly forest so he might have felt right at home.

"That's it, I'm charming your mouth shut." You pointed the wand even further, and he let out an ouch!

"I'm telling you again, get that thing out of my face before I sneeze all over it."

"Ewww," you stood up on instinct, and he used that moment to get his own wand and point at you.

A moment passed.

"You're so... crude," you said in distaste. "I thought you weren't supposed to be like your brother?"

"Something to do with genetics, I assume." He smiled warmly. "Now, I'm only going to say this once."

"Expelliarmus!" you shrieked.

Nothing happened.

He sighed. "I'm skilled in occulumency. I used a shielf charm the moment you said expel. Spells always have too many syllables, don't they?"

You lowered your wand in exasperation. He did the same.

"What do you want?"

"Didn't realize this land belonged to you."

"You could have disapparated the second you saw me. Why didn't you? Why are you here in the first place?"

"The Dark Lord sent me."

You tilted your head and thought for a second. "I highly doubt he'd send only one of his death eaters if he knew where we were, let alone the youngest and most inexperienced."

He gasped, just as dramatic as Sirius. "Are you saying I came here just to be pinned down by you?"

Yup, exactly like Sirius.

"Barty has pull in the Ministry," he went on under your shrewd glance. "I tracked down my brother."

"But we never did any magic here..."

"I've been tracking him since he left home."

You blinked in surprise. "You what?"

"Just to make sure he's alright. . . though I doubt you'd believe it."

A man in moonlight trying to explain his sins. You'd be a fool to believe his words. And even more stupid to ignore them altogether.

"What do you want?" you asked again.

"I was just checking in on my brother, as usual. And I saw someone stargazing. I recognized it was you."

"And?"

His gaze softened, then he immediately cleared his throat. "And I was wondering if you'd speak aloud like some damsels in distress do. I thought I could reply from the trees and surprise you like the skies have replied. But you didn't move, nor did you speak."

"Do you usually go to Elizabethan english when you lie, or is that a quirk?"

He laughed, though it appeared forced. "Trust me, I was just caught leaving."

"Why didn't you disapparate then?"

"Do you honestly think they'd only track the Order? I wasn't going to take any chances."

Regulus Black was... nice?

"Well, I'm not sure how much I trust your words," you said, face high. "Come back with me to see Sirius, and let him make something out of all of this."

"No." It's the first time he sounded serious through the entire conversation. "My brother hates me. He does. I don't want to talk to him."

"But—"

"Y/N." His voice was stern. "I have to go. Take care of my brother — just until I'm back, okay?"

"You'll be back?"

"I've to take care of something," he said, his hands unconsciously touching his locket. "But after that, I'd be back. The freest man in the continent, you'd say."

"I don't trust you."

"So you've said." He walked towards you, giving you a quick hug. It felt awkwardly sweet, as if he's giving a hug for the very first time. You froze, but before you could do anything, he already let go.

"Time's running short," he grinned. "Now, the real chase begins. Do start running."

"Wait, wha—"

But he had already gone, disappeared in the blink of an eye. How can he disapparate if he said he wasn't going to take any chances?

Oh shit.

You remembered how you broke the protection first when you tried to disarm him. How the expeliarmus might have made death eaters alert. Regulus Black had cleverly evaded the scene and you probably had seconds to warn others.

You disapparated on the spot to your makeshift tent, but not before looking at the spot Regulus Black had previously stood.

I'd be back.

You found yourself hoping that was a promise and not a possibility.

THE END

_________

commissions | kofi

[eyecan02]

WARNING: MAJOR BEETLEBABES SPOILERS

I had fun watching this film. It was great seeing the OGs again, it was funny and it had a good script BUT I have to give this movie 7/10 because the pacing was off for the first half of the film and because of the two unnecessary Babyjuice scenes (We'll get to more of that in a bit.)

It just felt rushed and Beetlejuice and Lydia's scenes were limited. Yes, we knew from the get go that Keaton's scenes would be confined because that's how he wanted it but I just like complaining. lol

Before Lydia and Beetlejuice officially reunite, he starts spamming her phone with the Day O song playing with Beetlejuice's name in bold pops ups coming up nonstop. This happens when Rory is trying to talk about their wedding and Lydia just isn't in the mood to talk about it.

The first Beetlebabes scene is the "therapy scene" and its also the first Babyjuice scene. Lydia's belly grows quickly, her water breaks and out pops out Babyjuice. It starts crawling around and soon starts biting on Lydia's ankle. You do actually see bloody teethmarks on Lydia's ankle to which Beetlejuice says, "Takes after his dad." and he starts drooling exaggeratingly.

I don't remember the exact wording but Lydia called Beetlejuice "Demented." To which Beetlejuice replies with something like "Well, if me wanting to be with the love of my life is demented then fine I'm demented. Come here, honey." Yes, he actually calls her the love of his life!

He tries to do the gliding thing he did with Lydia during the first movie when he says this. Before Lydia is pulled to his side, she yells, "Home! Home! Home!"

That's when Lydia tries to hurry to get everyone out of the house and out of Winter River but Astrid tells her she has a date and somehow convinces Lydia to drive her to the boy's house. So Delia and Lydia board up the attic door and decide no one goes in and that they'll leave that same night right after Lydia gets married at midnight.

Now as most of us have heard- Astrid's crush has a secret. That secret is...that he's a ghost. Which, I feel so dumb about not guessing it. I should've figured it out when they showed "The Recently Deceased" book thar he claimed he bought at a "yard sale". The boy (can't remember his name) says Lydia can help him come back to life (not through marriage) and says if she travels with him to the Neitherworld, she'll help her see her dad again.

Lydia soon finds out that the boy (I think his name was Jeremy) was not only someone who killed his parents but is also a ghost (through info from Jane the realtor) so she rushes to rescue Astrid but gets there seconds too late. With no other choice she goes back to the Maitlands home and summons Beetlejuice.

The minute Beetlejuice gets Lydia into the afterlife...they're immediately separated right after the "Bonnie and Clyde line. The excuse? Beetlejuice had to "visit the little boy's room" as a plot device so that Lydia and Astrid could reunite with Astrid's deceased father. He's the one that saves them from the sandworm and helps them make up.

It turns out that Jeremy was gonna swap places with Astrid. She would've gone on the Soul Train that takes you to the "Great Beyond" and he would've resurrected as a living person. This takes place at an immigration office. Beetlejuice has kind of a heroic moment where he switched places with the person behind the glass that gives the "stamp of living approval."

When Jeremy looks at the paper that Beetlejuice gives him, it reads "Shit Out of Luck Fucker". XD This part had everyone howling with laughter. Beetlejuice stamps on the paper and that instantly opens the floor beneath Jeremy and sends him to hell.

Astrid's father helped Lydia and Astrid leave the Neitherworld through a portal in a mausoleum that is conveniantlly across from the church that Lydia is supposed to getting married at. Even though she doesn't really want to marry Rory, she decides to do it anyway. Tells Rory she won't change into her wedding dress- that they should just proceed as they are.

That's when Beetlejuice arrives with Delia, pushes her aside and tells her to "Scram!" lol (Earlier in the film, Delia tried to perform a strange love ritual with a pair of snakes that she was told were defanged. Spoiler: they weren't defanged so she died and got sent to the Waiting Room so since she doesn't want to wait there for ages, she summons Beetlejuice who agrees to help her if he can help her find his "runaway bride".)

Beetlejuice proceeds to drug Rory by stabbing his neck with a syringe and this somehow makes Rory confess whata scumbag he is and how he was just using Lydia for money. Another interesting moment where Beetlejuice is being "helpful" in his own way."

So the next five minutes are just as chaotic as Jenna Ortega described. And remember how we all had speculated that Beetlejuice wouldn't waste time with a song and dance and would try to get through the vows as fast as he could? We were wrong. Beetlejuice apparently thought he had all the time in the world as he starts to lip sync "MacArthur Park" and even had Lydia lip syncing the song to him. His make up got all runny as he wept at his own wedding.

They dance and then Wolf and his SWAT team crash the wedding followed by Delores storming in and Beetlejuice tells her, "It's not you. It's me. I'm just looking for a more soul mate type. You should be with a guy that is more into you."

He magically rips off Rory's shirt to reveal a shirt underneath that says "I Love Delores". Delores is not impressed. And I honestly forgot what happens to Delores but then the Sandworm scene happens and then everything calms down. Lydia, Astrid and Delia try to leave the church but Beetlejuice stops them, reminding Lydia that they have a contract. He pulls out the contract.

But then Astrid remembers something Wolf had mentioned earlier about Beetlejuice violating "Code 669" by bringing a living person to the Neitherword so she states that that means his contract with Lydia is null and void. Beetlejuice's contract proceeds to burst into flame.

Lydia steps forward and says "I'm sorry it didn't work out between us." She says something else that I forgot and proceeds to say his name three times and with each call of his name, Beetlejuice's body inflates more and more until he pops.

Delia promises she'll haunt Lydia and Astrid until they're sick of her. Wolf takes her back to the Neitherworld where Delia reunites with Charles's mangled corpse. It then skips to Lydia announcing the last episode of her show so that she can "start living".

Then it shows Lydia and Astrid traveling together. It looks like they're in Romania/Transylvania where Astrid locks eyes with a cute guy. Then a time skip where Astrid is marrying the guy. Another time skip where Astrid is giving birth. This is where it gets weird. She gives birth to Babyjuice that proceeds to start crawling on the walls. That's when Lydia wakes up, relieved that that was a nightmare when suddenly Beetlejuice leans over her in bed and says, "I just had the strangest dream." Lydia gasps and she wakes up again and slowly looks over to her left to see an empty space and no Beetlejuice.

So I'm guessing that's what that one interviewer guy meant when he told Winona "You sorta got your wish at the end." I guess it means Beetlejuice will always be haunting her and playing the long game of waiting for her. I need to discuss this with someone! What do you think of the spoilers? The ending in particular?

[apollabarnes]

part one // part two // part three // part four // part five // part six // part seven // part eight

tommy's phone rings when they're approaching the first presbyterian helipad.

"really?" lucy calls over the headsets, exasperated.

tommy shrugs. he feels a little bad about it, but he only has four people set to be able to call through if he's flying; howie, melton, sal, and athena. it used to be — it will be five whenever sal and gina decide stella's old enough for a cell phone. their patient — currently unconscious, critical but mostly stable — won't care if he picks up.

"get rid of them before the handoff," lucy demands, "i'm going to need you."

"kinard," tommy says, picking up without looking at the display. he thumbs the headset to take it off the open channel. three out of the four calls are something he doesn't want broadcast across the radio. he's not actually sure why he's got melton on the list; tommy guesses he's just preparing for the day melton needs to him to break the law.

"i need a favour."

tommy laughs. one of these days they'd call when he was actually off duty. this would be so much easier with a private helicopter. "how official is this favour?" he knows he's not going to say no. he hasn't been able to say no to a favour for someone at the 118 since howie saved his life. part of him died in that strip mall. the rest of him got to live because of it. there's not enough favours in the world to repay that.

"not even close."

what else was new? if a little lawbreaking was going to get tommy to toe the line, he never would have gone out in a hurricane in the first place. "give me a few minutes."

"kinard! time to go! hang the hell up!"

"text me the location," tommy says quickly, disconnecting the call before pulling back on the throttle, hovering over the hospital. two minutes to unload, five to argue with lucy, and however long to get to where athena is. what's the punishment for going awol with a missing piece of municipal equipment worth a few million dollars?

"anyone ever tell you you've got a soft touch, donato?" tommy asks, throwing himself out of the helicopter the second the engine stops. he wrenches the back door open, taking the front of the stretcher from lucy and wheeling it out as lucy rattles off their patient's stats to the doctors.

"only when they want to get hit in the head," lucy tells him once everyone's cleared the roof. "i don't remember the last time you actually picked up a call when we were in the air."

that would be because tommy doesn't pick up calls in the air. it's a distraction. it's also why the list of people who can break through the do not disturb is so short. they're the people that, if they need something while tommy's flying, means part of his world is about to collapse.

"i need to leave you here. and i need you to not call the station for a ride for about an hour."

"well i'm definitely not doing that. who was on the phone?"

"athena grant."

"oh my god, she asked you for a favour? you're going to lose your job. i'm coming with."

"what? why?"

"i'm still mad about you not bringing me to the cruise ship. it's my turn for a medal."

"or you're getting fired along with me."

"either way, sounds fun. stop arguing, start flying."

"i'm reminding you of this the second that you start complaining in the unemployment line."

lucy rolls her eyes at him, clicking her headset over to harbor's channel. "melton, we're going to grab some food and refuel the bird. call through if it's urgent, otherwise we'll back in rotation in about an hour."

melton's confirmation crackles over the line and lucy nods firmly, looking over at tommy. "you weren't even going to do that, were you?" she asks rhetorically. "this is is why you almost got fired last year." she considers the helicopter before hoisting herself into the passenger seat.

tommy blinks at her. "you're being very blasé about this."

"hey, i worked with them too. maybe i like them enough to keep them out of trouble. chop chop, let's not waste the headstart i gave us."

[game-boy-pocket]

Okay, I took a nap.

Here is something really heartening. Cranky Kong is confirmed. Holding a shovel with him. People with the Japanese Nintendo Today app saw him in slightly altered trailer.

Now I can't imagine he's going to be the only familiar character besides DK in this game. There's no way Cranky is here and not, at minimum, Diddy. But this is going to be a huge open world, you have to populate it with NPCs, so I fully expect to see even more.

And I don't think it will all be Kongs.

There is a village of Ostriches in the game. And this is not Expresso, but stylistically, it mostly matches with Expresso's mosty recent appearance as a trophy in Super Smash Bros for Wii U, albeig with a few little tweaks.

My guess is Expresso is somewhere in that village and we'll be reuniting with him, assuming this ins't a new look for Expresso that we're looking at in the screenshot. I feel like one of Nintendo's goals will be to inject a little more peresonality into some of the old characters who weren't Kongs, because let's be real, none of the Animal Buddies really had much personality to begin with.

Gnawty the beaver appears as some kind of treasure thing? This could be a meaningless easter egg, but you never know, the point is this is another sign that not all of Rare's contributions will be forgotten.

And here's the biggest copium of all.

For a game with all new antagonists who appear to be apes.... they're using an awful lot of Crocodile imagery... and specifically crocodile imagery where one eye is bigger than the other.... and a lot of emphasis on gold too. Like a certain someone's armor plated belly...

Okay okay, I might be getting my hopes up a little too much here. It could be japes. Very cruel japes. I mean did you see the amount of pig imagery in The Wind Waker, ESPECIALLY in Ganon's Tower, and they just pulled the rug out from under me with that "Tease" of Ganondorf transforming into a giant Demon only to give me a googly eyed pig marionette on string instead of my bad ass trident weilding pig wizard. Nintendo has done me dirty before.

But I do think it's possible that these new villains may not be the ones pulling the strings. Or, maybe the Kremlings aren't actually in the game, but this is going to tell us where they came from. A bit of a lore drop while these new villains are trying to move in on the Kremling relics left behind by K. Rool's ancestors.

Wishful thinking. But it does seem that Nintendo is being coy with whatever familiar elements are in the game.

So I don't want to say I'm in full on copium mode just yet, I do think all these signs are heartening.

Even if this is all bullshit and it's just Donkey Kong and Cranky in a completely unfamiliar land with unfamiliar characters, I'm sure it will be an astounding game, and right now, it's the only Nintendo Switch 2 game i'm dying to get my hands on.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

*GASP*

...

how come the Team does this to me? They get me every. single. time. chat, I don't even want to click on the episode BUT I HAVE TO KNOW IF MY THEORY WAS RIGHT OH WHYYYY

(the following is my live reaction:)

starting off already? well no complaints from me

it's giving "Trust No One" from WOTFI 2023 arc

PFFT HAHAHHAHAHAHA

ok ok ik it's supposed to be serious, but that "wha happen?" audio clip from Mickey Mouse Shorts really caught me off-guard. Who in the Team did that? I want to say thank you

anyway, Mario dude you gotta tell everything, especially to Karen

...well, the minecraft part isn't wrong but he's not telling the whole story

omg 4 really is doing the same thing as 3 did a year ago

which is crazy considering that 4 wasn't in 3's interrogation on Mario. They're so cosmically linked that they came up with the same interrogation method, well it's also Mario we're talking about

yeah, we'll let Karen do the rest

might as well give in, Mario. it ain't worth hiding any secrets

...4?

he's so silly I love him 💙

idk 4, maybe you should be an inspiring VA (4 would be the type of parent who would do all the characters' voices when reading bedtime stories 😌↕️)

oh. oh holy shit.

well at least you're getting it out of your system, Karen. but I do feel genuinely concerned you. I still understand but worried.

the shadows making it look like she's stabbing Mario isn't helping with my concerns

...what was that?

*wheeze* no 4, it's not the IRS

OH we got a sniper here, folks. WPNZ?

AND A ROBOTIC HAND? yeah, we're not just guessing anymore. the anon from my inbox who said that WPNZ may be a cyborg, you nailed it man

Ain't no way, Mario died (he literally cannot)

THE GMOD GUN IS BACK

HOLY SHIT nice save Karen

it's confirmed: 4 doesn't pay his taxes

Mario: "I am..." [*Invincible title card*]

he still got the walkie-talkie.... what the hell did WPNZ say to him?

YEP now we're putting the pieces together

*wheeze* Mario what was that run?

pull some strings, you say? perhaps... CONNECTIONS?

GET EM GIRLS /ref

secretive, ay?

what's with the dark room?

*flashback* I just remembered a traumatizing experience in my past, hang on I have to stim and I'll feel better. /ref

damn Mario ok

oh wait, I recognize this animation style. Anaidon, did you work on this scene? :D

PFFT THE DISTRACTION DANCE FROM THE HENRY STICKMAN SERIES OMG

I did not see that coming, ok who in the Team did that bc that was good haha. nostalgia go brrrrrrrrrr

No, WPNZ, it really did work ngl

oh shit

yep it's a cyborg hand if it's compatible with an actual arm

Gear up, it's for a swell battle!!!

FLAMETHROWER?! even Mario's not liking this

no, 4! this isn't Mario, it's Mr. WPNZ

😦

*pauses episode* ...chat, can you do something for me?

hold me back, and don't let go until I'm done. ready?

*ahem*

...WPNZ YOU SON OF A BITCH WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU AND I SWEAR YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW— *10 minutes and a nuke explosion later*

ok I'm good.

4 I'm going to need you to wake up buddy. c'mon you can't die, especially not you. 4 don't do this to me, you can't. you faced way worse stuff before, this can't hold you down now. your friends, your family, they're waiting for you to come back home. you can't leave them. 4 please

WE GOT A PULSE OH THANK GOD

IT'S A WEAK ONE THO, WE NEED TO GET HIM TO A DOCTOR NOW

I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO, IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT 😭

at least Karen could finally get some answers

...a surprise?! OH HELL NO that guy nearly got them killed for ENTERING, it's a trap for sure

LET'S GO GET YOUR KIDS BACK but do be careful, we still don't know what we're up against

😭

get 4 outta there!! oh god, is the Crew gonna see 4 in critical condition? Beeg4? *head in hands*

I swear the Team is out to get me (also Mario carrying out 4 strangely reminded me of a scene from a fic I read long ago)

and ofc the whole building on fire goddammit

(btw that fall reminded me of the insomniac spider-man teasers ifykyk)

no Karen, hun you aren't. you're like one of the best parents of the entire show

you're trying to be better and give your kids the life you didn't get to have, that pretty much makes you a good parent overall

YEAH LOCK IN

alright, the moment of truth

huh? radio interference?

I FUCKIN KNEW IT YEP IT'S CONFIRMED

MR. WPNZ IS KAREN'S EX LOVER AND FATHER OF THE KIDS

(well nicc, looks like you get you keep your script after all)

oh, so he's pretty much a psycho, good to know *starts curb-stomping him*

I TOLD YOU ALL THE "HALF PINTS* NICKNAME WAS TOO SPECIFIC

what kinda monster? oh the mentally-messed-up yandere ass one, yeah that kinda monster

HE'S AT THEIR HOUSE?! FUCKFUCKFUCK

ok yeah I see how it is. violence isn't enough, time to commit crimes :)

no, don't end it there. please don't

*flips desk* AND THE MUTED-COLOR CREDITS OH C'MON

looks like I got something else right, it was a mini-arc. it's all within the math

Congrats to daekim_26 for your art being featured at the end credits! 🎉 hey, I recognize this, Ben reblogged this over on Twitter. ig the Team really liked your art

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

I. I'm just speechless omg. Like what am I supposed to say to that? Shadow, is this what you meant when you said we're not prepared for this? I need to walk out a sec, hang on.

ok I'm back. I guess first off, Team, wow. What an episode, it is absolutely insane how good it all was. Especially the writing and the voice acting for Karen, it tugged on my heart strings. And Anaidon, I KNEW YOU ANIMATED THAT SCENE haha!

Genuninely, bravo 👏👏👏 and my calculations were right after all

Actually, for me to post my theory hours before the episode was dropped, I'm surprised how much I got it right. Most of it, yeah, though I didn't expect how insane Mr. WPNZ is. More so doing it for himself and not the corporation, but still a lot of dedication was put into this. And he got a robotic arm! Not exactly like Clench (who has a mind of its own and can talk) but definitely advanced. So, the point could still stand that the tech, skills, and resources were based on his job at Hitman Inc.

Poor Karen, you can tell she's been very desperate in finding her kids by the voice acting alone. You can't blame her for going to these lengths. Like I said, understandable, but I do still feel concerned for her. And then, her psycho ex on top of everything smh, I won't be able to handle it.

And you can't even blame Mario either. He did the mission thinking it would help Karen, and Mr. WPNZ told him what to do. Then with the prosthetic taking Mario's arm, it wasn't even him. It was WPNZ, but I do feel like Mario's going to feel so guilty for what he did to 4.

Wrong things for the right reason 😔↕️

Speaking of 4, NO NOT MY BOY. Chat, I'm not okay. Like I knew he wasn't going to die, he's literally one of the main characters, but my heart dropped at that scene. Through the floor and 6 feet underground. I did ask for 4 angst, yes, but damn. Can you imagine how the Crew would react? Since 3 & 4 are cosmically linked, would 3 feel that 4's in critical condition? Oh Beeg, 4's his dad dude. Beeg may be pretty tough but he still cares for 4, hope he gets a bit of revenge for it. (and a sprinkle of mar4 angst)

...am I going to bring in goop!4 into this?

Who do you take me for? ofc I am. As I mentioned, the parasite would still be in 4, and because of what happened to him, it might be the necessary trigger for it to activate. After everything that had happened to him, the explosion really knocked him out. This is taken seriously, this mini-arc starts really close to the IGBP anniversary.... I wouldn't be surprised if the Team tease for the future goop!4 arc. Not immediately after the Hitman arc, far later. Baby steps, chat. If the Team drops at least ONE frame, a SECOND, about goop!4, I'll take it!

Anyway, since it is a mini-arc, we're not getting another teaser or a trailer. BUT we are getting an episode special, so we'll have to look out for that. In meantime, that's all from me. I'll see yall next time and remember, folks: numbers always go first!

man, Ben. I gotta say, the thumbnail you made, it was a cool reference to the Parasite movie poster. Awesome job!

...huh.

[oozedninjas]

This is more on the fluffy end, but could easily turn naughty if you choose. (￣▽￣)b

Normally shy crush randomly sitting on bayboys lap? They want attention and are determined to get it, flustered and all!

Also, hello! I love your posts. Thank you. (* ´ ▽ ` *)ﾉ

Reader sits on their lap to get their attention!!

2007 / NSFWish / Suggestive/boys are 25 and love to see you squirming for them

Leo is cleaning his katana when he feels your hands sliding over his shoulders. Immediately recognizing the touch, he glances at you.

"Hi, love. I thought our date was in another hour," he notes, a glimpse of a playful taunt in his tone.

"I got impatient," you say, sitting on his lap in one motion. "I want you now."

Your bravado stuns him for half a heartbeat before dissolving into a smirk. He places the sword on the side to pull you further onto his lap. His voice is a hot whisper near your lips. "Show me how much."

Raphael is fixing Turtle Movil's muffler when he hears your steps approaching over the smooth asphalt of the garage.

"I'll be with ya in a sec, doll!" he voices from under the van.

You humm, stepping on the edge of Mikey's skateboard, currently serving as support for Rafael to slide under the car. You roll him out.

"Hey! he whines sitting up, just half a second before you sit on his lap.

His breath hitches as you straddle him, shell pressed to the van's side.

"Sorry Raph, I don't feel like waiting," you breathe, trapping his mouth.

Donatello is so invested in talking about this new substance that he doesn't notice you stripping. When you press your bare chest to his shell and drag your hands over his plastron, his words trail off as he tenses.

"Hmm, darling?"

"Yeah?"

"W-what are you doing?"

You smile, turning his swivel chair to you, wasting no time sitting down on his lap.

"I'm listening," you mutter into his ear. "You're so hot when you talk about deadly substances. But I'd love to hear something a bit sweeter."

"Yeah? Like what?" he manages, heart racing.

You lick a stripe over his pulse line, eliciting a whimper from him.

"Like that."

Mikey was chilling, sitting on the worn-out couch, waiting for the TV to load what looked like a video. You placed your hands over his eyes.

"Guess who it is?"

"My Sugar bun?!" he says, turning back excitedly. "Hi! You're just in time, I'm about to start a new game! Let me show you," Mikey reaches for the Xbox controller, turning his back to you.

"Sure! Is the Brotherhood joining soon?"

He giggles at the nickname. "Nah, they're out."

You frown. "Out? All of them?"

"Yeah. Leo's training with his new partner, Raph's out with Casey… and Don's helping April cover some tech issues or something. Oh, and dad's sleeping," Mikey explained idly, choosing the abilities for the playable character.

"Wait, we'll be alone here for… a while?" you venture.

"Yup! So, you want to play with me?"

You smirk, climbing onto his lap. "Love to!"

He dodges you, his eyes glued to the TV. After a moment of contemplation, you break into a mischievous grin.

"But how about we make it more interesting? The loser has to take off an article of clothing for each game over."

You tug at his orange hood, and his eyes dart to you, a mischievous smile growing on his face. "Aw baby, you know you won't beat me, right?"

"I'll take the risk," you say, kissing his snout.

[cherrrydragon]

➤ find something worth saving (it's all for the taking)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (LET ME GET WHAT I WANT)

← back to chapter list

SUMMARY ↳ ;) Damian and Jon are easy to spot, standing together near a large decorative display. Jon's bright smile is a beacon, and Damian's more reserved demeanor contrasts starkly with his friend. They’re standing in front of a window. It paints the image of being surrounded by snowfall as they chat away. pairing: jon kent x gn!reader x damian wayne warnings: threats of bodily harm wc: 4.3k

Nothing quite says party like a Tony Stark party. You distinctly remember your first one. You weren’t even planning to come, but when Tony saw you in bed with pajamas he bullied you into getting dressed. He said that you ‘needed to get out more’, which was bull, but whatever. As payback you drank as much alcohol as you could sneak. The scolding from Steve you got was worth it seeing Tony’s appalled stare.

This time, you intend to stay in bed.

Bruce Wayne has decided to throw a New Year’s Gala, for whatever reason. You think it doubles as a charity, but you don’t know why else he would throw it, nor do you care enough to find out. He did invite you, but you’re not too keen on being perceived by society.

“You look nice,” you muse, seeing Damian in his little formal wear. He’s made a quick stop in your room, for whatever reason. He’s a cute sight, so you’re not complaining.

Damian adjusts the cufflinks on his formal wear. "Thank you," he mutters, glancing away for a moment before meeting your eyes again. "You should come.”

You laugh softly, shaking your head. "Nice try, hun. But I’m really not in the mood to be around a bunch of snooty elites."

He sighs, looking slightly disappointed. "It would be more bearable with you there."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," you tease, reaching out to straighten his tie. "Besides, someone has to stay and hold down the fort. Unless, of course, you’re asking me to be your date?”

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t dignify your comment with a response. Finishing fiddling with his tie, you step back from him. You see his hands twitch just a tad.

“Hi, [Name].” You turn to see Jon poking his head through your doorway, smiling cutely. He steps in, letting you see that he too is dressed up for the party.

“Well shit, look at you,” you grin, eyes roaming his figure.

He spreads his arms out, bashful. “Look at me,” he says, hands coming up to fidget with his tie. “I wasn’t sure about the tie, though. Damian said it was too flashy.”

You chuckle softly. “He’s just jealous he can’t pull it off like you.”

Jon laughs, shaking his head. “Maybe.”

There’s a comfortable silence as you glance between Jon and Damian, both looking unexpectedly nervous in their formal wear. It’s a stark contrast to their usual confident selves when they're out on patrol or facing down villains.

“So,” Jon starts, his tone casual, “are you coming with us?”

“Absolutely not,” you grin. “I do not have the energy to deal with people right now.

Damian huffs softly, exchanging a knowing glance with Jon before turning back to you. "You're missing out on Father's attempt at social philanthropy," he remarks dryly, clearly not a fan of the gala idea either.

Jon nods in agreement, his smile widening. "True, but I guess we'll have to suffer through it together."

You chuckle at their banter, appreciating their effort despite your reluctance. "Well, make sure to bring me back a good story or two. Preferably involving Bruce embarrassing himself on the dance floor."

Jon grins mischievously. "Deal. We'll keep you posted."

As they leave your room, Damian pauses at the door, looking back with a faint smile. "If you change your mind," he offers quietly, "you know where to find us."

You nod, blowing them kisses as they leave. You settle back into your cozy spot, grateful for the quiet evening ahead. From here, you can hear the chatter and glasses clinking from partygoers downstairs. You sigh and sink into your bed with no further plans for the night. Just as you start to drift into a more relaxed state, your thoughts briefly return to Damian and Jon.

Damian. Damian is so complex. So rich in character. He carries an air of absoluteness around him. Every now and again you have that realization that everybody around you is living their own complex lives. You guess that realization hits harder, since you had never entertained the thought of him being real. Foolish on your pat, with what you know.

Jon, Jon exudes a warmth that contrasts with Damian's reserved nature. His easy going manner and quick smile charm you so. Only he, who gets his powers from the sun, could shine so bright. He's the kind of person who can brighten any room he enters.

The sounds of the party drift up faintly, a reminder of the world outside your cozy sanctuary. For now, you're content to enjoy this peaceful moment to yourself, letting your eyes drift close.

.

.

.

“Hello?” a voice echoes out. It’s yours. An amalgamation of bright lights closes in on itself behind you. Footsteps echo as you walk down the alley. You don’t hear any civilians walking and talking or any cars going down the roads. New York is quiet tonight.

Swinging up onto a building, you began making your way across the city. The eerie silence is unnerving you. The usual hustle and bustle is conspicuously absent, replaced by an unsettling calm. In fact, New York is… completely dark. Not one apartment light is on.

Avengers tower looms over the city. It’s the only building with—some—light. The building… isn’t really a building. Half of it is gone, jagged and broken edges pointing skyward. Cracks litter the walls, glass broken.

Your footsteps echo softly as you approach the tower. The air feels heavy with a sense of desolation. There’s pieces of broken armor and weapons. Flickering lights casting eerie shadows.

As you move through the ruins, a faint voice calls out—a whisper carried on the wind. You turn, but there's no one there. The silence intensifies, punctuated only by the distant sound of your own breathing.

Suddenly, a figure appears before you—a spectral image of Tony Stark, his armor battered and glowing faintly. His eyes meet yours with a mixture of sorrow and determination.

"You were supposed to be here," he murmurs, his voice echoing in the empty chamber. "Where were you?”

You reach out, but your hand passes through his ethereal form. He fades slowly, leaving you alone. You see a broken red, white and blue shield in the distance. 

“No, no, nononono. This wasn’t supposed to happen–”

There’s a woman behind you. She seems familiar. “You left us.”

You left them. All to die.

There’s a piercing scream as you're sucked into an explosion of colors below you. You try to reach out, to grab onto something, but there’s no one there.

You sit up with a gasp, suddenly at a loss for breath. Your body is tense and sweaty and you’re breathing heavily. Your heartbeat is booming in your ears. It feels like it’s going to burst from your chest. The sensation of falling fades as you orient yourself to the familiar surroundings of your room.

You glance around, reassuring yourself with the reality of your peaceful sanctuary. The sounds of the party downstairs continue to drift up faintly, a distant reminder of the world outside your door. You rub your temples, trying to dispel the last traces of the unsettling dream.

Taking a deep breath, you reach for a glass of water on your bedside table, sipping slowly to calm your nerves. “Karen, how long was I asleep?”

“Only an hour.”

You bury your face in your hands, breathing. Sometimes you think your mind is your biggest enemy. You should’ve figured, really. You haven’t had a proper nightmare since you’ve gotten here. It was only a matter of time.

“Might I suggest heading to the Den to take your mind off things?” Karen's voice is soft, achingly so. It’s comforting.

You don’t respond verbally, only nodding your head. You throw off the covers sluggishly, still trying to ground yourself. You put on the first clothes you find. They’re definitely not gala material, but that’s fine. You’ll only pop in to tell someone where you’re going.

Titus is loitering the halls, but he comes to you when he sees you out and about. He sniffs you, gruffing like he’s disturbed by something. Maybe he can sense that you’re a little unnerved right now. You give him good pets before moving on past him.

The grandeur of the gala spills out into the hallway, the lights casting a warm, inviting glow. Chatter floods your ears as you arrive just outside the entrance to the grand room. The place is perfectly lit up and shiny. The sounds of laughter and conversation form a stark contrast to the silence of your dream, grounding you.

Damian and Jon are easy to spot, standing together near a large decorative display. Jon's bright smile is a beacon, and Damian's more reserved demeanor contrasts starkly with his friend. They’re standing in front of a window. It paints the image of being surrounded by snowfall as they chat away.

You hesitate at the entrance, your eyes drawn to Jon and Damian standing together. The way Jon's eyes light up when he looks at Damian, and the small, almost imperceptible smile that tugs at Damian's lips in response, speaks volumes. They stand close, their bodies angled toward each other.

Damian reaches out to brush away a curl from Jon's face. Jon smiles, mouthing something. He talks animatedly, eyes bright. Damian watches. Fondly, you realize, he’s watching. There’s even a little small smile on his face. It puts a matching one on your face. It reminds you of Pepper and Tony, the way they look at each other.

Like they’re in love.

…

Oh.

Oh.

Holy shit, they’re in love, aren’t they? Holy shit. How did you not notice? Well… you’re not often hanging out with both of them at the same time, are you? You know they hang out on their own without you. They were friends before they knew you of course. Since they were children. Oh God, you hope they aren’t, like, secretly dating or anything. You’ve been flirting with them, but it was playful! You swear!

.

.

.

God, what have you been doing?

You need to get home. You’re not supposed to be here. You should be at the tower, playing darts with Clint, or looking for colleges you want to go to. Not here, not pretending like everything is fine, everything is normal, everything is how it’s supposed to be. You’ve forgotten yourself, gotten too comfortable. You feel a sudden detachment, like a thread just snapped. This is a borrowed fantasy.

Like clockwork, you put on a grin, baring your teeth. You take a step back, the sounds of the party fading into the background. It's as if everything is moving in slow motion, every sound is distant and every breath is drawn out. The party fades away as you turn, making your way towards the exit. Each step feels heavy, like you're carrying a weight you can't quite name.

All you hear is a constant ringing in your ear as you swing from building to building. There are people in the streets, no doubt celebrating the incoming new year. The city seems especially alive, lights twinkling. You’re grateful you can’t feel the biting cold air thanks to your suit. You fear you’re already feeling too much right now.

By the time you reach the familiar tunnel, your stomach is in knots. You’re on autopilot as you move the rubble, climbing in. The cute fairy lights feel too bright now. Your mask retracts, letting you breathe in.

You grab a screwdriver, not yet knowing what you’re going to do. “You might be able to finish before midnight,” chimes Karen.

Really? Had you been that far along in your progress? Oh. Maybe you knew and just forgot. You don’t really know right now. Your legs feel stiff as you approach the particle accelerator, screwing in a part tight. You work methodically, hands steady despite the turmoil in your mind. Each screw, each connection, each calibration is a step closer to completion, closer to... what? A return to your old life?

Karen's voice interrupts your thoughts gently, "You're almost done. Just a few more adjustments."

You nod absently, tightening another screw. The particle accelerator is nearly ready. Your mind drifts to the dream again—Tony, the absence of life, your home that you don’t recognize. "You left us," echoes in your mind.

Finally, the last screw is in place. You step back, wiping a hand down your face, and take a deep breath. The machine hums with a soft, steady power. It's ready. You're ready. Or at least, the machine is.

You stand back, staring at the particle accelerator with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. The steady hum of the machine fills the air, a stark contrast to the chaos in your mind. It's a portal, a bridge to another reality (the start of one, at least) another chance to set things right—or at least, to find some semblance of peace.

You insert a prism into it, making sure it’s secure. “Initializing…” hums Karen. The particle accelerator hums, lights flickering on and running down it. Sound whirls as you grab the little wheel you attached to it. “Approaching maximum power.”

The machine shakes as you turn the wheel. The prism turns, guiding a light. The light cuts through the space, producing fire and sparks where it hits. It cuts an old pipe in half. Whoops.

In front of you, lies an object akin to that of Tony Stark's arc reactor. Of course, it’s not actually an arc reactor, it’s just there to hold the new element. The light pierces and cuts until finally, it reaches its target. You think you hear the prism chime as the light hits the little triangle in the holder. You know that that’s the case when the chime gets louder as the light gets brighter. Brighter, brighter, brighter—oh.

You turn the machine off, looking at the glowing creation. The light fades, showing you the bright glowing triangle that is the new element. You sigh in content.

You duck under the particle accelerator, approaching the mimic arc reactor. Your fingers flex in anticipation, reaching out. The claws of your suit clink against the tiny triangle as you pick it up.

“Congratulations, [Name]. You’ve successfully recreated Tony Stark’s new element.”

You hum. “Well, couldn’t have done it without you and your awesome know-it-all abilities, my dear.”

A symphony of crackles, pops, and booms that fill your ears. Each pop rattles off as it fades. Oh, the fireworks. Is it…

“What time is it, K?”

“It is currently twelve AM, on the dot. I think this was an appropriate way to start the new year, don’t you?”

You chuckle, bowing your head. “Happy New Year.” You wonder if Damian and Jon… no. Probably shouldn’t think about that.

“Happy New Year, [Name].”

“...Happy New Year…”

You whirl around, fist tightly curling around the badassium. There’s no one there. Um. Were you imagining things? Oh, you see now, a figure there in the corner. A figure, somebody. Somebody that looks like…

Looks like…

“I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now…”

How did your senses not pick up on them?

“I… don’t know what I’m doing here myself.”

They’re stepping closer to you.

“I guess… well. I don’t know.”

It’s… it’s…

“But I do know… that I’m sorry. I was… I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

It’s the spider… the one from the warehouse. The reason why you’re here.

“You…” Suddenly, you can’t breathe.

They clasp their hands behind their back, looking around the room. Then they look at you. Stare at you. The eyes of their suit squint as they take in your face. “Pretty cozy place. More cozy than mine, that’s for sure.”

You put down the badassium, afraid you’ll break it in your fist. They turn to look at it, then at the particle accelerator. “You work fast. Faster than me. It took me way too long to make that big stupid thing. I didn’t have any blueprints or even confirmation that it would work, but–”

A scratchy yell erupts from your mouth as you pounce at them. They dodge, fucking spidey senses.

They hold out their hands. “Woah woah woah, wait–”

You don’t wait. You lunge at them again, claws swiping out to them. It lands, leaving behind red. They don’t have an armored suit like yours. You have the advantage.

They scramble out of your way, knocking over things as they go. “Please–”

You grab their suit at their collarbone, pulling them to you. “You!”

“Me?” they squeak.

“You’re the reason I’m fucking stuck here!”

“I know I know, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking! I was being stupid! I just–”

“I don’t care,” you growl, showing your fangs. Your shoulders flex, releasing the nano spider legs. They emerge hauntingly, their sharpened points glinting, poised and ready to strike.

“You know, I’m not really like the other spiders. Most of ‘em anyways,” you drawl. “Apart from being the only [Name] I know, my moral compass is a roulette wheel. I’m a hero of course, I save who need saving, and punish who needs punishing.”

“Truth is,” you lean in, eyes wide and flickering with hot pink, “I am much more keen to violence than the others. I’ve killed people. A couple of people, actually,” you admit, voice low and intense. “Doesn’t make me a true good person, of course, but it does make the world a bit safer for those that are.”

They try to struggle free, but you hold them firm. "I'm going to figure out what you need. So tell me, what the fuck are you doing?”

They sniff, taking in a deep breath. “I never wanted to hurt you. I don’t hurt people.” Their hands quiver as they latch onto yours. “I just wanted to go home, and I thought you were gonna stop me–”

You growl and they yelp. “It’s not an excuse! I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s my explanation. I just.. I felt bad. I was…” they pause.

“I was working on this machine. A particle accelerator,” they sigh, oblivious to the way your ears start ringing. “I was messing around, and I got stuck in your universe. I tried to go back home. I tried for so long, acting like everything was normal, like I belonged but I… I had to go back home.” Their voice gets wobbly. “I spent so long there, I got desperate.”

They start sniffling, and you know they’re crying. “I thought, if I could find where you went… I could help you get back to your universe. So what happened to me won’t happen to you.” They take a step back. Oh, did you let them go? “I can’t take you with me. Other things can't pass through my portal without turning to dust, but…”

They reach into a pocket, pulling out a small, intricate device. It glows softly in their hand, emitting a faint, steady pulse.

“...What is it?” you croak.

"It's a catalyst," they explain, their voice still shaky. "It’s what I used to stabilize the rift. You know, so my atoms wouldn’t get scattered across space.”

Your gaze narrows, skeptical of the device in their hand. "Why should I trust you?" you demand, voice edged with exhaustion and anger.

They take a deep breath, looking into your eyes with a mix of desperation and sincerity. "You shouldn’t,” they admit. "But I know what it's like. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone."

You stare at the catalyst, the faint pulse mesmerizing. "And if this doesn't work? If you're lying?"

You feel their eyes on you through their mask, voice filled with regret and determination. "Then you can do whatever you think is necessary. But I promise you, I'm not lying."

Your silence hangs heavy between you. The sounds of the fireworks outside are distant echoes, reminding you of the world outside this tense moment. Finally, you reach out and take the catalyst from their hand, feeling its weight and the subtle hum of energy within.

“You really want to help?” you whisper, fist curling around the catalyst. “Find Miguel O'Hara from Earth-928.” Your grip tightens around the catalyst as you step back, letting the weight of the moment settle in. The stranger stands still, their eyes fixed on you through their mask. You can see the weariness in their posture, the heaviness of their own burdens reflected in their stance.

“Find him, and tell him where I am.”

They nod slowly. “I’ll find him. I promise.” Their voice holds a note of determination.

You step back and wave an arm. “Just go.” You’re well and truly done with everything at the moment.

They stand for a moment, looking at you. Looking through you. Then they turn away, and all you see is an eruption of bright and colorful light, before it’s gone just as fast as it came. The Den feels unfamiliar to you now.

You sink to the floor, mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. Sound is distant, the only thing you hear is a loud ringing. Your breath comes in ragged gasps, chest heaving. Your face feels wet. Ah, it’s tears. You’re crying. Why are you crying?

“–me]! [Name]! Come on, come back. I’m here, it’s okay–”

“Jon?” Is that your voice?

An arm curls around your shoulder and crowds you into his embrace. His warmth contrasts starkly with the cold dread that had settled in your chest. He holds you tightly, his presence grounding you. You cling to Jon like a lifeline, his warmth grounding you in the present.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, hand smoothing down your back.

Sniffling, you sink into his embrace. “What are you doing here?” you mutter.

“Where else should I be?” With Damian. “I stuck my ear out, heard your heart beating fast. And the sound of you… well.”

You sigh heavily, cheek against his chest, listening to his own heartbeat. It's strong and steady, everything you want to be. “My heartbeat?”

He nods against your head. “Your heartbeat.”

You sigh again, a mixture of exhaustion and relief. “Oh, Jon...”

"Shh," he soothes, his hand still moving gently along your back. "You don't have to say anything right now."

"I don't deserve you," you murmur into his chest, your voice barely audible.

Jon tightens his hold on you, his voice firm yet gentle. "Don't say that. Please don’t say that."

You take a shaky breath, feeling the weight of the night’s events settling over you. Jon’s presence is a comforting anchor amidst the storm of emotions swirling inside you. “I just… I don’t know what to do, Jon.”

He tilts your chin up gently, his blue eyes filled with concern and determination. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now. We’ll take it one step at a time, together.”

You don’t say anything, simply resting your head against him. His lips press against your forehead, gently and warm.

“In other news,” you sniffle, moving to get out of his embrace. He holds on to your for a moment, uncertain. But a persistent tug from you makes his arms drop. You reach up, grabbing the small glowing triangle. “Look what I made.”

He eyes the small thing in your claws. “What is it?”

“The badassium. The new element that I’ve created.” You rock it around gently. “I did it.”

Jon's eyes widen with surprise and admiration as he gazes at the glowing triangle in your hand. "That's incredible," he says, reaching out to gently touch the shimmering surface.

You nod, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the lingering heaviness in your chest.

He looks up at you, his expression softening with concern. "Are you... okay?"

You hesitate, unsure how to answer. Instead of words, you hand him the glowing badassium, letting him examine it closely. The warmth of his touch is grounding. He studies it, turning it this way and that, before looking at you again. He puts it down where it was, coming back to you to hold your hand.

“You’re incredible,” he breathes. You don’t have any words, so you keep your mouth shut. 

“...Wanna go home?” he asks tentatively. You nod. He slowly steps forward, kneeling down and hooking his arms under your legs and back when you show no sign of hesitance. Jon lifts you effortlessly, cradling you close as he stands. You rest your head against his shoulder, eyes feeling heavy.

“I'm not invalid, Jon.”

“Just let me take care of you.” He shouldn't say things like that.

He makes sure that the Den is properly blocked and hidden by the rubble. After that, all you feel in the cold air biting at your cheeks as he flies you across the city. The lights below blur into streaks of color as you soar through the night sky. You cling to him, feeling the steady rhythm of his flight beneath you.

People are still at Wayne Manor as you approach, lights shining bright. Jon serves around the side, pulling up to your room's window. You sigh in relief as he gently sets you down in your room.

You see Damian rush over to you both, suit jacket forgotten. Was he waiting here for you?”

“Where were you?” he demands, hands coming up to rest on your arms. His concern is evident, his eyes searching yours for answers.

Jon steps forward, his hand resting on Damian's shoulder. "It doesn’t matter now. They’re okay," he reassures Damian, who nods slightly, though the crease in his brow doesn’t go away.

"Sorry," you say sincerely, looking at both of them, "for worrying you." You gently push Damian’s hands off you and go to your bed. Your clothes are comfortable enough, you decide. The soft pillow feels heavenly as you sink into the mattress. Hands come up the pull your blanket over you, lightly caressing your forehead before leaving.

Hushed voices bickering are the last thing you hear before darkness pulls you in.

notes: so... how we feeling? LOL

ngl i feel like the reasoning is cheap but how y'all liking the parallel? it'll make more sense later on, i promise ;)

also am i evil for using the "oh. oh." in that context? yes. yes i am

[yuttikkele]

S2E1 Amok Time: AKA we finally get to learn more about the vulcans because spock's on his period. or he's going through heat. whichever terminology makes this synopsis funnier to you.

alright here we go. the episode i have been recommended to watch the most. could it possibly be gayer than "when i feel friendship for you, i'm ashamed." ?

OH MY GOSH. MOODY MUCH, SPOCK? Yelling, throwing the bowl at the wall, storming out of the room. Well, at least he didn’t overreact guys.

DID THE OPENING THEME CHANGE?? It’s gotten more EPIC. and VOCAL-LY. DEFOREST KELLEY MENTION

Theodore Sturgeon and Joseph Pevney, do you know what you’ve done?

The brattiness of Spock is transferring over to Jim. The repeat of “In all the years that I’ve known you” was despicable.

Spock pulling the “I am fine” card is so awful bro EVERYONE knows you’re not fine.

*spock gets called off of the bridge* Ooooo. Mr. Spock’s in troubleeeee.

Spock looks like an adult that has to go to the doctor alone for the first time.

WHY DID SULU LOOK SO WORRIED WHEN CHEKOV SAID HE WAS GONNA GET SPACE SICK BAHAHAHA

Well chekov I’m sorry to say I think we might be changing course again.

Why did Spock even wait this long to try and get to Vulcan

“No use to ask him, Jim, he won’t talk.” Watch him talk.

DOES SPOCK HAVE A DAUGHTER??? (yutti note. That was not his daughter that was younger T’Pring)

“It has to do with biology.” WOAH. REALLY SPOCK? I HAD NO IDEA! IT'S LIKE THIS WHOLE TIME WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOUR BIOLOGY. /sarcasm

Well look at that. He talked.

I think this is supposed to be a comedic scene or something but the unfitting doom and gloom music over it somehow makes it even FUNNIER. Like the biology of Vulcans is REALLY scary guys… you better watch out..

The way Vulcans chose their mates ISN’T logical? Well color me surprised I wasn’t expecting that. (yutti note. it's not logical but they've set up traditions that make it logical. they done loopholed it into being logical)

Jim is really considering this. This Vulcan biology. He’s thinking hard about it.

I wanna know who thought, “Aw yeah, we need a whole episode dedicated to talking about Spock’s sex life.” that resulted in this episode existing.

what is this whole thing with nurse chapel and spock

“By tradition the male is accompanied by his closest friend.” D’awwww

DANG THAT WOMAN IS GORGEOUS (t'pring)

EVERYONE SIDE EYEING AND LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THOSE STANTWT MEMES WHEN SPOCK SAYS “my wife” BAHAHAHAHA

“Hot as Vulcan” yeah now I know what that phrase means too, McCoy (I have never heard that phrase before)

Arranged marriage at the ripe age of 7 years old? Ok I guess. whatever you say

*POINTS AT SCREEN* OH OH OH THAT’S THE HAND SIGN!!! 🖖🖖

T'Pau: “How do you pledge their behavior?” Spock: “With my life.” Kirk: *looks over at McCoy*. KIRK DO NOT CAUSE SPOCK TO DIE.

“What is it what happened?” Kirk says just like I do at football games.

That one Vulcan background guy (Stonn) is so funny why does he keep looking around like HE doesn’t know what’s going on.

I wanna know WHY she chose Kirk. Did she not want the other guy (stonn) no more? Is she just doing this for fun? Did she feel threatened by Kirk, so she wants Spock to kill him? “Oh? You like him so much? Kill him so I have your full loyalty." type beat?

Spock is managing to talk trying to protect Jim :00

Sorry to interrupt the mating ritual, but Spock’s hitting an insanely devious pose rn

Oh of course Kirk immediately gets a boob window

They're bleeding. His bibis are bleeding.

NO SPOCK. SPOCK’S MORTIFIED. SPOCK IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT, IT’S VULCAN BIOLOGY.

spock were you jealous of ston just then??

Oh miss girl T’Pring had this ALL worked out. Not in Spock’s favor obviously. But a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do.

Did Spock just tell Stonn that having T’Pring isn’t as marvelous as it seems? With T’Pring right there?? BRO.

SPOCK WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE JIM awwww

MCCOY YOU GENIUS. I would’ve been saying bye bye to Kirk then and there. all "guess we'll have to find a new captain" and everything. good thing he's a doctor.

“When I thought I had killed the captain, I had lost all interest in T’Pring.” Gaywad.

ohhh ok so, Spock told Stonn having isn't as good as wanting not because he dislikes t'pring or dislikes having her, but because he got over his vulcan heat or whatever and no longer was drawn to her. ok that makes more sense. still a little bit of a diss to her but whatever. really can't possibly be worse than having to live married to a man who's never there

Ooo a new end credits too!!

ok. gonna be honest. my thoughts? i don't feel like this was entirely incredibly that gay. it was gay, but I don't think it was gayer than "when i feel friendship for you, i'm ashamed." and i might get yelled at for this deduction and told about how it is oh so gay and i might be like "oh i didn't notice that, that is very gay!" but i think one thing stays the same: there's just nothing gayer than yearning.

HOWEVER. upon a rewatch (because i decided to rewatch it without taking notes cause i felt like that was distracting me from the show), i realized something. now let me get this straight. spock went into heat. he very clearly stated that he must mate or die. he came out of heat not having mated or died but instead after fighting jim and thinking him to be dead. so, i feel it is not out of the question to think this implies either he was so shocked by killing kirk, the person he cared for most, that it snapped him out of his heat, OR his body registered that fight as sex. both equally gay options.

additionally, we already know jim is basically the most important person is spock's life, but this episode sorta puts it into perspective. spock says this whole quote about how "having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting." after he thinks he's killed jim, spock wants jim way more than he wants t'pring. which already in of itself shows how much he likes jim. but what more? when he finds out jim is alive, he's ecstatic. he no longer wants jim. he has him. and as we can tell by this being the happiest we've seen spock, it is a very pleasing thing to him. that is the most romantic part of this episode.