#i guess i really like the idea of zoe being used as a way for chloe to change for the better

[certifiedducky]

okay but imagine if zoe was significantly younger than chloe. like 7+ years younger, and audrey left so she could start over with a new family in new york.

because audrey would leave all the time for work, and also whenever she and andre had a particularly bad fight. when audrey left one day, chloe fully expected her to come back but the weeks turned to months and suddenly it’s been years and she never came back.

only for these paparazzi photos to surface of audrey with this toddler and she looks so happy. and adrien helps chloe get through it, because her dad won’t even comfort her because he’s pouring everything into his career so he tries to buy her happiness.

and when chloe’s 15 audrey comes back to paris with zoe, who’s just a 7/8 year old kid, chloe hates her at first. she sees her as the reason audrey left. but audrey’s still the same shitty mom, and chloe gets the chance to step up and be zoe’s big sister.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I’ve always wondered why I’m so harsh on Zoe outside of just her character being used to it’s simplest degree (ie just being a replacement for Chloe) and I think I get it now.

Zoe is a perfect example of the “good/perfect victim”. The writers literally used her to downplay Chloe’s own abuse experiences by saying “See? Here’s a teen who was also abused at school and she turned out to be a sweetheart who’s so much better than Chloe in every way” blatantly ignoring She and Chloe possibly different home lives because Zoe had a different father.

As someone with experiences of toxic home lives I don’t appreciate it when abuse gets undermined especially parental and Zoe being used as a mouthpiece for what I guess can be summed up as abuse apologia made me think so lowly of her as a character.

Thoughts?

I actually just got another ask about my thoughts on Zoe, so I'll schedule this to post the same day since it's topical. In that post, I talked about why she bugs me and it's because she reads like the main character in an escapist self-insert power-fantasy fanfic. Once again, to be extra clear, those types of fanfic are FINE! Power fantasies and escapism are extremely valid things that are popular in professional works, too. For example, they basically dominate isekai and romance stories, but Zoe showcases exactly why characters like this only work as main characters in escapist fantasies. If you try to make them work as a normal side character, they just feel weird. Make them the main character or don't write them. Since she's not the lead, why is she even here?

I didn't consider the perfect victim angle in that other post, but now that you've brought it up, I'm wondering if that was indeed why she was introduced. Is she here to show that someone could have Chloe's mom and still come out to be a good person? The writers do seem really obsessed with that idea as we see from this moment in Derision:

Marinette: (as she goes down the stairs) I just got three more hours of detention on Saturday, and it's all because of Chloé. Rose: Don’t be mad at her. She's this way because her mother left her when she was young. Mylène: So did mine! And you don't see me having fun bullying Marinette. We've got to do something about your pants. I'm afraid they might be ruined for good.

This isn't even why people think that Chloe is the way she is? It's not just because her mother left. It's her father's terrible parenting, her absurd wealth, and the fact that her mother didn't actually leave. Audrey is still very much around, she just ignores Chloe most of the time and insults her on the rare occasions when they're in the same place. That's a recipe for disaster.

Sure, some people are lucky enough to come out being a good person in spite of their messed up home life and those who come out as jerks don't get a free pass to be jerks, but it's not like it's a total shock when bad home lives lead to people being jerks. The bully with a bad home life is a stereotype for a reason.

I'll once again point to The Good Place as an excellent show to watch if you want to see a realistic journey for a Chloe-like character. A journey that acknowledges the struggles that come from a messed up home life without giving the characters a free pass to use that home life as an excuse for their actions. Part of their journey is accepting that they have to stop blaming their parents and take charge of their lives.

Miraculous could have done something similar if it wasn't a formula show. The potential was there. But it is a formula show and the writers apparently don't think that Chloes are capable of change. I get that childhood bullies suck, I had one! I am very happy that she's no longer in my life, but I also don't think that she was incapable of change. She just needed to be put in the right situation where she accepted that change was needed and that never happened when we were kids. Has it happened since then? I don't know! Some people never change, but that doesn't mean that they can't change. Most of us are capable of changing. It just takes the right catalyst and a lot of hard work. People rarely start changing out of nowhere. It almost always has an inciting incident.

That's actually part of why Zoe's story feels so shallow. We're never really told why she was the way she supposedly was pre-canon or what caused her to change into her canon self. This is the backstory we get in Sole Crusher:

Zoé: I'm... really sorry about today. I thought that if I did everything Chloé wanted me to, she'd accept me. I just wanted to meet my family's expectations. Which is why I left New York in the first place. At the boarding school, I was playing a part; being someone else, hoping they'd accept me. But finally, I just couldn't anymore. That's when everyone turned against me, and one day, I found roaches in my locker. They all said I was a loser. Maybe they were right. I get that I'm different, and... I'd understand if you guys didn't want me as a friend.

So Zoe lied about everything and, when she revealed that she was a massive liar, everyone turned against her? Shocking. Why wouldn't they welcome a confirmed liar with open arms? That's so weird! (That was sarcasm.)

Seriously, why are we acting like Zoe was the wronged party here? This is literally Lila's story save for the motivation behind the actions (as far as we know). There are times when motivation matters, but this is not one of them. If you've spent weeks (months? years?) lying to people, then they're not going to trust you when the lies are revealed. Maybe you'll get lucky and someone will be willing to hear you out and give you a second chance, but that's an act of kindness. It's not an act of basic human decency.

This speed run story probably wants us to believe that everyone at Zoe's school was evil and that Zoe had to fake a personality to fit in, but I don't believe that. Writers, if you want me to believe it, then actually show us her story! You had a full New York special to do it! Why didn't you make Zoe the lead there since the specials love to introduce new characters to hog the screen? Have Zoe's school be the American school they go to and have her personality change be caused by Marinette and Co. so that Marinette and Co. trusting Zoe in Sole Crusher actually makes sense instead of feeling like something the plot forced on them! This is the scene I'm talking about, btw:

Marinette: (confused) I don't understand. When I met her this morning, she was so nice. Alya: That's crazy. Chloe's influence is so toxic that she's managed to corrupt her sister in a few hours. Alix: We gotta get her out of there.

Why are you all so sure that Marinette's two-minute-long interaction was the "real" Zoe and that her new personality is all Chloe's fault? Why are you acting like it's impossible to fake being nice but faking being evil is totally reasonable?

It really feels like this show is trying to say that people are either inherently good or inherently evil. Zoe was inherently good and just played at evil, so she's fine, but Chloe is just evil so she's doomed. That is really not how the world works, but now that I think about it, it does match the way the miraculous are often used. There are "evil" and "good" versions of some of the powers instead of just powers that can be used for good or evil. I've never liked that because it makes no sense. Why do akumas need a good form? Why is there an evil transformation phrase? Why do the miraculous even have an evil mode? Who programed that in???

While were on the topic of things that were possibly done just to show that Chloe is evil: is this why they made Jagged Stone an absentee parent to Luka and Juleka and then made the "twins" totally cool with it? Is the show trying to say, "Look! Luka and Juleka are nice! Therefore this is a Chloe problem. Stop blaming her parents!"

Who knows, but your idea certainly has merit. I wouldn't go so far as to claim that this must be what's going on, we don't know and I don't like to treat educated guesses as fact because they're not, but the text certainly has evidence to back this read.

[mc-lukanette]

Ladybug just barely managed to squeeze through the window of the Liberty without being seen, her groan overtaking the sound of her detransformation. Finding places to hide as Marinette was simple when she could so easily slip out of a group, but when Ladybug got so much attention from everyone, it was nearly impossible to get back to where she was before. As it was, she'd had to use her aqua powers to hide in the water until she was sure it was safe to leap into the Liberty.

Maybe I should start carrying the mouse, she thought, slapping her cheeks to try and snap herself back into focus. Her mind whirled as she tried to remember what her excuse had been so she could follow up on it.

She was pretty sure it’d been snacks; she’d told everyone that she was heading downstairs to get snacks and drinks for them.

Heading over to the door leading to the deck, she opened it back up and hurried to grab some trays to put snacks on. Fumbling to gather things to make up for the time she was away, she tried not to get distracted by the conversation she could faintly hear up on deck.

"Haven't you wanted to change your look? It's been months now," came Mylene's voice. "Those costumes are starting to get old. I don't know about everyone else's, but Ivan's is starting to get beat up."

Marinette froze. Even without hearing the specific words, she knew they were talking about Kitty Section's costumes.

"We could ask Marinette to fix them up?" Rose suggested.

Alya dismissed the idea. "She's been busy all week! There's no way."

She wasn't wrong. Marinette tensed, already thinking about what'd just happened. She was living three lives - Marinette, Ladybug, and now the guardian - so it was only logical that she couldn't keep up.

"Oh," Zoe piped up. "If it's the costumes, I could find someone who's worked with real bands before on costumes? You could get a designer who could make something that'd last for a long time."

"Really? That's right, you even know the mayor!"

"That'd be awesome!"

"As long as you don't let Chloe hear, okay?"

Marinette fidgeted with the tray, hating the fact that a familiar jealousy was stirring in her chest. She and Zoe were friends, with Marinette being the one who vouched for her in the first place, so she had no one to blame but herself. Zoe was a great person: she was friendly, not awkward, and was even building a better relationship with the mayor of Paris. Anyone would want her company and Marinette couldn't compete with that.

It was inevitable that the costumes could get worn or damaged too, even by accident. She breathed up, steeling herself for the topic as she took the trays of snacks and started heading up to the deck.

Then, she heard Luka chime in, "They're Marinette's designs. We worked on them together and those two weeks are a verse I never want to forget."

"You don't have to throw the costumes away or anything," Alix interjected, confused by the emotional weight behind the words. "You'll just have new designs."

He paused, then directed his voice elsewhere as he asked, "What do you guys think?"

Some hums sounded amongst the rest of Kitty Section, Rose speaking up first to say, "New designs just mean we have more designs, right?"

Ivan added on, unsure, "I thought it was cool of Marinette to make these for us. It's kinda hard finding stuff that fits me."

"Mm," Juleka hummed noncommittally. "I like the worn look..."

"I guess it would be up to the band," Mylene pointed out. "Maybe we could vote yay or nay?"

"We're not getting anywhere like this," Alya countered. "All I'm saying is that it'll just put pressure on—"

By that point, Marinette had already stepped into view with the trays. She'd taken time and focus so as to not topple anything by accident, but was still wholly aware of the conversations. All eyes darted to her and it was difficult to tell who felt awkward and who was simply waiting for her to speak.

Keeping her expression as flat as possible, she went over to the nearest table and set the trays down. Standing straight to face everyone, she told them, "It's like Alya said: I'm busy. I'm not reliable enough to make repairs or new ones either, so..." She shrugged as casually as she could. "Those designs were made on a time crunch anyway, and I want you guys to have the best."

"See?" Alya gestured at Marinette whilst looking at Luka. "She thinks so too."

Having just been Ladybug a few minutes ago, Marinette had already had more than enough attention for the day. Preferring not to involve herself further, she turned on her heel and started heading back below deck, leaving Zoe free to use her connections without guilt of her watching.

"Marine—" Luka called behind her, but stopped short. She heard his footsteps follow after hers, but didn't discourage him and continued walking.

As she re-entered the lounge room, she went straight for the couch; not around, but straight ahead for the backrest. Putting her hands on top, she hefted herself over and plopped down onto the cushions, allowing her to lay back and stare up at the ceiling. A click of the door followed and Luka's face soon hovered over her from above the backrest.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Why? You were trying to defend me."

He put his forearms up on the couch, allowing him to lean forward more. "You're part of the band too, to me. I shouldn't've said anything without you there."

"You don't believe me." It wasn't a question.

"I just wanted to make sure there wasn't something deeper to it."

As deep as a bottomless pit, Marinette lamented, wanting to scream but not having the voice to. Instead, she waved her arms about and continued to insist, "Look, I really am busier than when I made you those outfits! That's why we we couldn't date!"

His eyes widened at that, and it took her a moment to realize why: she hadn't specified that part when they'd broken up. She'd been tired, emotionally drained, and not thinking particularly clearly at the time, so the actual reasoning had been left out.

"When you're ready, I'll be here, Marinette," was what he'd said then, but the actual timeline after the fact was a little fuzzy for some reason. She guessed it was also related to her exhaustion.

She sat up to be closer to him, talking again before she could think further on it, "I'd feel awful if Kitty Section had to keep holding itself back because I don't have the energy for it, okay? You guys need new costumes and Zoe is the best for the job, so don't do this for me—"

"Zoe?" Luka's brows drew together in puzzlement.

"...Yes?" She tilted her head, equally confused by his response. "She's the one who offered. She has connections that I don't."

He shook his head. "That's not it. She's not the best for the job, she's just finding someone else to do it."

Marinette stopped halfway to a reply, having been caught in her mindset. Either he was that observant or she was extremely transparent about it. She planted her soles on the floor, turning so that her back faced him.

Luka walked around the couch to sit next to her, keeping a careful distance but being close enough for them to talk comfortably with each other. "Zoe can't do what you do, Marinette." Then, thoughtful, he assured, "But we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Except that was just the thing. She wanted to - always wanted to - yet there were never-ending obstacles to that. Everything she said had to be carefully calculated or she'd run the risk of causing everyone more trouble, but sometimes the choice would just be taken from her anyway if she waited too long. It was a tightrope walk of balancing words she should say with words that she shouldn't.

And she wanted off.

"I—" She grit her teeth, hands gripping the fabric of her capris. "It's not... it's not about what she can do. It's about what she doesn't have to. She doesn't have to worry about a packed schedule, or dealing with responsibilities she didn't ask for, or making time to do something for a friend because she can find someone else to do it."

Luka let out a hum of acknowledgment. She saw his hand reach over out of the corner of her eye, hovering silently over her hand closest to him. When she didn't pull back or express displeasure, his hand dropped onto hers and squeezed.

"There's nothing wrong with being jealous," he told her.

Stiffening, she pulled away from him on the couch and stood back up, arguing, "But there is! Zoe hasn't done anything wrong and I'm not allowed to want you after what happened, especially not when she's just a better me!"

"...What?"

She groaned, messing up her own bangs just so she could fix them again. "A better me. She was bullied too, but she's not—she's not like me. No one teases her or makes fun of her for what she does, but I'm such a disaster with everything that—"

"You want me?" he clarified.

Marinette met his gaze, having thought that was obvious from having told him why she'd had to break up with him. "Yeah? Who wouldn't?" Paying no mind to the blush that appeared on his face, she continued to throw her arms out and vent, "But I don't make people happy! I don't fit! Zoe doesn't get upset like I do, she doesn't have to run off all the time, and she doesn't make people argue over costumes since she's not the one who makes them anyway!"

She couldn't even look at Luka anymore, too ashamed to face him directly. She couldn't recall how she'd made the connection between her own issues and Zoe's, but finding out that she was jealous was another matter. It took time to properly recognize the feeling, but only because her initial experiences with jealousy were different.

Specifically, with Adrien. Whenever it came to seeing other girls around him, she'd wanted to interfere, to stop it at all costs. The exception had been Kagami at times, but due to a mixture of guilt and a desire not to lose her friendship with someone who'd openly told her (openly told Ladybug) that she prioritized pursuing Adrien over said friendship.

With Luka though, she'd never felt any rivalry or animosity towards anyone she deemed a "better fit" for him, and she never thought to act out on it. While Zoe had never made attempts to go after Luka herself, Marinette imagined it was only a matter of time if Zoe was indeed a better her, and she'd find it hard to complain if it ended up working out.

The difference in her states of jealousy was obvious: one was an obsession - "eyes on the prize," so to speak - while the other was a genuine love and desire to see the person she loved be happy. It hurt thinking about how it would all end regardless, but she was prepared to face it.

"...Marinette," Luka began slowly, still piecing his words together. He inhaled, exhaled, then finally said, "You can't decide that."

She faltered, scared to look at him directly in case she had an unpleasant expression on, but too confused not to do something. She turned her head just enough to peek at him through her bangs.

He continued without her asking directly, "No one makes me happy the way you do. Not Zoe, not anyone. You can't decide who fits me best just like everyone else can't decide what to do about the costumes without hearing you out first."

"But..." She shook her head despondently. "It was a nightmare dating me? I don't want you to want me if it'll just lead to that."

"What if you're the musician?"

That got her to look at him, in sheer befuddlement if nothing else. She'd registered the oncoming metaphor, but still failed to follow it to its conclusion. "What do you mean?"

"What if you're the musician, and I'm the guitar you had to stop playing because the music didn't sound right?" He put his hands in place to act as if there was a guitar in his lap. "Then you see a newer, fancier guitar that comes with all sorts of accessories, and everyone thinks you'd look great with it."

She gaped, horrified by the thought. "I-I wouldn't want that!" She sat down next to him again, huffing. "Just because it's new and fancy doesn't mean it'd work for me, and I already have memories with the guitar I have now! Maybe the music didn't work but—"

Something clicked. Luka must've seen it in her expression too, his frown making way for a smile instead.

"...There's nothing wrong with the instrument," she finished quietly.

He nodded. "Yeah. It was bad timing. Even the best musicians can get the timing wrong when it matters."

Sliding closer to her as she'd done earlier to him, he gripped her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. Marinette gasped sharply, suddenly surrounded by warmth when she'd felt so cold before. It really was as if he'd never let her go so long as she didn't move.

Whispering so as to not break the moment, Luka questioned, "Do you know what it was about my dad?"

She gripped onto whatever fabric was nearest to her, uttering a soft, "M-mm?" in response.

"I know he left, and it hurt me, but he came back in the end. He wanted to make it up to me. He could've decided that I wasn't worth it, or that he still wasn't interested in being around me, but he didn't." He rubbed her back, seeking to soothe her. "I believe in second chances, and if someone wants to ask me for one, then it's my choice to let them back in. I'm choosing you, Marinette."

She blinked rapidly, feeling potential tears coming on. While reluctant to pull apart from him, she broke the hug momentarily to see his face again. The temptation to jump on the offer was strong, but she admitted, "I...I don't know how to convince myself that it's okay."

"I can show you," he offered. "We'll take it at whatever pace you want, and I'll show you that it's okay."

Her eyes give him the answer before her mouth did, her body stunned still by the gesture. She'd really thought that she'd lost him for good and that there wasn't any hope left, but he stuck with her anyway.

She wanted to kiss him in gratitude, but it didn't happen right away. The close contact made it easy for her to let her hands wander, fingertips trailing across the bare skin of his forearms. Luka accepted all of it, reciprocating by touching her face and feeling along her cheekbones as if he hadn't already memorized every centimeter of them.

They were the kinds of touches that she'd - that they'd - wanted since they got together in the first place, but never did. They're gentle yet eager, tentative yet meaningful.

The kiss followed afterward, somewhat clumsy when their noses bumped, but they weren't deterred from continuing. They held each other, relishing in the contact they hadn't gotten to have the first time they'd attempted it at the cinema. Even the soft 'click' as they pulled apart became ingrained in Marinette's memory as something special.

Luka touched his lips with his fingertips, feeling along the surface, but stopped to point out, "You've been worrying about me this whole time."

"H-hm?" She also had to stop herself from touching her lips to reply.

"What about you?" he prompted, staring at her directly. "How do you feel?"

Her lips quivered, but she was smiling. Knowing that he knew the answer already, she threw her arms around him to return his hug from earlier.

She felt happy. She felt like she could safely talk to him about things without fear or repercussions. She felt the weight of the world lift off her shoulders, even if it was only for a moment.

Most importantly, she felt loved.

[kamiko1234]

I am officaly finished with the Titan's Curse and OH MAN- So first off, I hate the gods. I just genuinely hate them 💀 I can't stand them for the life of me I SWEAR TO GOD-

Like, are those guys for real? Percy saves them/Artemis for a THIRD TIME and they contemplate bloody MURDERING the guy!? I mean Artemis was reasonable at least even though I still don't particularly LIKE her since the Hunters of Artemis still weird me out with all that man-hating. And Poseidon was okay too- BUT THE REST OF THE GODS!? What a bunch of ungrateful, wannabe good guys omfg.

I swear with every second I spend on these books I become more and more of a Luke apologist. What the Heck. Second off, Thalia suddenly joining the Hunters- like what?Well okay, I GET it that is was used as a way to avoid the prophecy for her. But for most the book she seemed to atleast have STRUGGLED with the idea. I would have liked that being more devled into, since to me her suddenly joining came a bit sudden if you think about her relationship with the Hunters (and especially Zoe) before. I guess the whole thing can be explained with Luke "letting her down", still though. It wasn't like Luke switching sides was anything NEW to her ! She KNEW what Luke was up to, him "letting her down" couldn't have been anything new. I also think she shouldn't have been made lieutenant going in tbh. She is a new comer, even if she's highly skilled and has proven herself already. That would be like a newbie in a highly specialized military unit who has known eachother for AGES immediately being promoted to commander. Someone who was with Artemis longer would have fit better imo. Thalia could easily have become the lietenant later on ! But right now it feels a undeserved for me. Much more being Artemis playing favorites than Thalia having the skills. Third off, NICO'S A HADES KID ????? AND APPARENTLY ALSO A SEMI TIME TRAVELER FROM (AROUND) WW2 ????

Man and I though Luke being the traitor threw me for a loop- BUT APPARENTLY WW2 ERA DEMIGODS ARE NOW A THING ! SAME THING FOR BIANCA. Honestly I have no idea what to make of all that- but as someone who knows their fare share of history? I'm PRAYING Nico and Bianca are americans with Italian roots (since they seem to have an italian lastname) and NOT actual italians. Them being from Italy during THAT time opens a whole can of worms I do NOT want to get into-

But also OUCHY on that whole part. Poor Nico, I hope he's okay. I also doubt Chiron even cares for the campers tbh. With the comment of him on Nico's disappearance.... yeah no. Those demigod kids really were always just a means to and end to everyone, huh ?

(Please mark any spoilers in your replies/reblogs so I can avoid them, thank you ^^ )

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Ranks: Miraculous Ladybug Classmates

Thats Right! I am going to be ranking Marinette and Adrien's classmates from my Least Favorite to My favorite.

Rules:

I will be judging based on Bustier's Class. So No Zoe, Kagami, or Marc. Even if they hang out.

Marinette and Adrien will be Excluded from this list (Think of them as Honorary 1 and 2 if included)

I will be using all of the episodes that have come out as reference. And there will be potential spoilers up to Episode 20 of season 5.

This isnt about which classmates are the best or worst. Its about My personal like or dislike of a classmate.

Including Marinette and Adrien there are 15 students. So this will be out of 13.

____________________________________________________________

13th. Sabrina Raincomprix

(She doesnt deserve a gif.)

Yea... after the recent episodes I really cant bring any sort of desire to like you. Oh sure Chloé is cruel and Lila is a manipulator... Sabrina is just a spineless worm that lets others get hurt or even ASSISTS in it. There is a corrupt cop joke here but its too easy. Also even with that she has no personality outside of Chloé Lackey. Chloé wouldnt be able to pull off most of her evil schemes without someone doing the dirty work and sorry Sabrina, thats you.

12th. Chloé Bourgeois

A moment of silence for the wasted Character potential... Okay. So yea Chloé sucks. Granted the season 4 and 5 have gone so over the top with showing that season 2 and 3 were not actually important that it causes massive whiplash. I cant find myself hating her like I can with sabrina. I just pity this character. And that is even AFTER I saw what happened in Derision, though at this point I have no interest in seeing a redemption. The writers could have made her heel turn back to evil more believable IF they did it gradually with more effort. But its clear that there was no effort to do so.

11th. Lê Chiến Kim

This man went from top 4 on my list to BARELY missing the top 10. Just goes to show how much one episode can change one's view on a character. In some ways I actually would say I like him less than Chloé now... but Kim at least did apologize and did say he would make an effort to be better. But MAN, when I found out what he did I was watching Chat noir BEAT HIS ASS ON LOOP. You know I was about to give that boy THESE HANDS for that s***. Derision really shifted everyone's view on this once lovable himbo, now he is a dumbass.

10.Rose Lavillant

I just dont like her design that much. Her personality is the stereotypical bubbly girl. And while she does get some exploration on why that is... its never touched on again. Also I am a touch salty about Migration. Juleka was expecting to hear a confession but WE ALL GOT BAITED AND SWITCHED. Guess the show cant have any girl confessing to another girl unless that girl being confessed to is Marinette.

9. and 8. Ivan Bruel and Mylène Haprèle

So to me these two are basically interchangable in terms of ranking. Ivan is the gentle giant that is misunderstood. Mylene is the soft scarred cat that wants the world to be a better place. If I had to pick, i would say I prefer Myléne more, but thats because she gets more character development.

7. Lila Rossi

So Lila always struck me as a character with huge potential. The problem is the writers have no idea how to write a cruel, calculating and manipulative character without dumbing down everyone else to make her seem smart. Now in season 5 I have found myself starting to like her more. Is it because the writing got better? F*** no, its just been more fun with her in it. She is just clearly having more fun with it, and just seeing how the ridiculous plans somehow work almost makes it funny. Also its clear she is being set up as the next big bad, so I cant wait to see how convoluted the show makes her to make her WORSE than Gabriel. So unlike Chloé whose cartoonish evilness feels like a waste, with Lila it feels more fun to watch.

6. Max Kante

He built Markov. Plus after Gamer he has been a pretty solid character. I also do enjoy his support of his Idiot Friend Kim. Even if Kim doesnt deserve it. Also, he has the best transformation sequence. Boy goes WAY too hard for it. I also just think he is a charming character.

5. Nathanael Kurtzberg

Tomato son. While it took me some time to forgive him for Reverser. He is basically a shipper with Marc and its a fun time. I enjoy their plans and adorable antics. But part of me still misses season 1 Nathanael, wonder if he still had a crush on Marinette. Not much else to add, just that he is fun to have on screen and his english dub voice is still dope.

4. Juleka Couffaine

She has my favorite design of the Classmates. She does develop more as the show goes on, I would say she has the most consistant development of the classmates outside of the top 3 contenders. Juleka is now the lead of Kitty Section, and has some incredible Lyrics within her. She wants to stand out and wants to stop being a wall flower. I can respect her guts and attempts at growing and improving.

3. and 2. Alya Cesaire and Nino Lahiffe

The respective best friends of Adrien and Marinette. They are likely the most known about classmates of the Miracuclass. Well Alya is. Nino sadly doesnt get as much delved into. That being said, both are supportive friends and go to great lengths to help them. Nino is surprisingly the more chaotic of the two resulting in him thinking Chat noir was stealing his girl OR forming a resistance against Monarch. Alya learning her best friend's identity and being her emotional rock. Now I thought I would put Alya higher than Nino, but Nino's charm and antics make it hard to dismiss and so I have them both as a tie. Though they also had some moments (Thanks to bad writing) that make me cringe a bit.

1. Alix Kubdel

The most consistently written character in the entire class. The Time travel hero, a character that in my opinion is slept on a lot more than she should be. While I am not crazy about time travel, I do enjoy Alix as a character. She is fun loving and ready to call people out on their BS, also she gets some great lines. She also shows how much of a supportive friend she is to nathanael, Marinette, Ladybug and Chat noir. Its sad she had to go into the time stream to hide from monarch, but it is still a fun way to send a character off for a time

[miraculousdeservesbetter2024]

My preference headcanons for every MLB character! (🌈 Happy Pride Month 🌈)

Note: These are MY personal preference headcanons for the characters. Take it with a grain of salt. Our opinions are allowed to differ, but please respect mine and I’ll respect yours.

-

Marinette: Bi, Female Leaning. I see her going both ways, but the reason why I see her female leaning is:

I personally just like that idea! ❤️

It seems that she’s more comfortable with girls than boys (I know that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s attracted to girls, but eh. Still like the idea).

Her crush on Adrien seems comphet to me (yes, that can happen to Bi people too).

She can be that “preppy queer” archetype.

Adrien: Pan. I was THIS close to making Adrien Bi (female leaning), but I settled with him being Pan. Why? For the sole reason that I see Chat Noir as Pan (and Adrien IS Chat Noir lol). It makes sense 😄 I’m also starting to see him as Gender-fluid.

Alya: Bi, Female Leaning. Listen, I ALWAYS saw Alya into girls, even before her and Nino got together in Animan to be honest with you. But according to canon, it seems like she’s even Straight or Bi, since she’s shown attraction to boys. I mean, she COULD be a comphet Lesbian, but meh. I don’t want to erase the possibility of her being Bi because of her attraction to boys too. We need more Bi rep. 😜 So basically, I now see her as Bi, but female leaning. She prefers girls, but Nino is a sweetie pie 😊

Nino: Bi, female leaning. Nino prefers girls more, but he doesn’t mind dudes either 😉 I actually ship him and Adrien together. If it wasn’t for the love square and DJWifi, I think Nindrien would’ve been more popular.

Chloe: Closest Bi, comphet. Some people might see her as token Straight or a closest Lesbian, but I’ve finally decided that she likes both genders equally. Similar with Marinette, I just see her crush on Adrien as heteronormativity/comphet and also because she’s confusing her plantonic love for him with romantic.

Zoe: Queer. Tbh, I don't know right now. We don't know if she's gay, Bi or anything else, but we DO know that she's queer. She hasn’t shown any interest in boys in canon yet, but I don’t want to throw out the possibility of her being Bi/Pan yet either. 

Sabrina: Closest Pan. Sabrina is the type who thought that she was just an Straight Ally who doesn’t care who’s with who when it came to other peoples’s happiness. Love is love after all. Eventually she finds out that SHE HERSELF doesn’t care either when it comes to HER preferences lol 😂

Luka: Bi, simple but obvious 😌

Kagami: Pan & Demi. Use to see her as Bi (female leaning), but she doesn’t care as long as she can have a strong connection with them. I also see her as a Polyamorous Demi. She’s fine with being in a relationship with more than one person, but only if she has a strong connection with them. When you think about it, I guess that kind of makes Mari and Adrien Polyamorous too since Adrigaminette is my OTP3 huh? 😅

Rose: Pan. Rose loves everybody and anybody. She doesn’t care who it is 😊

Jeluka: Lesbian. I don’t really see Jeluka with any males and I don’t think that I ever did. She’s my little goth Lesbean! 😊

Kim: Bi. He’s perfectly fine with both, as long as he’s having fun 😄

Max: Biromantic Ace, Male Leaning, use to see him as Pan, but I see him more as male leaning now. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t mind girls though. Ones who are kind, sweet or/and match his intellect 😊

Ordine: Straight. Meh, I don’t really see her with females 🤷🏾‍♀️ Ordine ships like Kagami, Alix and Aurore etc. don’t interest me. Might change in the future, but I don’t know.

Mylene: Bi & Demi (male leaning). Her and Ivan together are pretty cute, and I don’t put it pass her to be interested in other boys too. But she is queer.

Ivan: Straight. Ivan was the first character in MLB that I saw as Straight lol

Nathaniel: Bi. I don’t ship him with anyone anymore, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a bi-bean to me 😛 I’m pretty sure he’ll find someone one day.

Marc: Gay, Trans, and Gender-fluid. I don’t really see Marc with girls anymore, so he’s gay now 😛 Also, I know he’s already Androgynous, but I also see him as Trans & Gender-fluid.

Alix: Aromatic Lesbian & Bigender. Like with Max (Ace), Alix was confirmed Aromatic, but I still do see her as a Lesbian. I don’t really imagine Alix being in an long term relationship, but she is interested in females. I did headcanon her Bi in the past, but I don’t really see her interested in any boys anymore tbh

Lila: Pan. She doesn’t care who it is, as long as she can manipulate them to her advantage…🤷‍♀️ Don’t get me wrong though, I do imagine Lila being capable of love and falling for someone, but not immediately.

Aurore: Lesbian (Comphet). I don’t ship her with any boys at all, and all my ships with her are with girls.

Mirelle: Bi (Comphet). Similar with Aurore. Also, I also ship them on the same level as Julrose.

Gabriel: Straight, but I don’t like the idea of him being the stereotypical homophobic parent. He’s a shitty person and parent, but it’s not because he’s homophobic. I did see him as bicurious in the past tho lol

Emillie: Bi. Meh, she gives off that kind of energy, even if she’s been in a coma 😜

Natalie: Bi. I like the headcanon that she’s a Bi woman who had feelings for Emillie too, as well as Gabriel (formally). I don’t know how true that is now, but meh. Still my headcanon.

Ms Mendeleiev: Lesbian. I see her being into women solely for the reason that I shipped her with Bustier lol 😅

Miss Bustier: Bi, but now just Queer. Similar with Zoe, we don't know if she's gay, Bi or anything else, but we DO know that she's queer/sapphic. 

Socqueline: Queer/Sapphic. We most certainly know she’s into girls, especially cute preppy ones that so happen to attend the same school that she use to attend, sees her as a role model to the point where she adapted her hairstyle, is into fashion, works at her parents bakery and unfortunately tends to have crushes on boys who are dum-dums instead of also acknowledging her obvious attraction to girls! 😤

..Wait wha-?

Fei: Lesbian. Plain and simple. Makes sense.

Felix: Like Zoe, I’m not absolutely sure yet. But I do see him being part of the Ace Spectrum.

The other characters I don’t really care about enough to have preference headcanons for. So if you want to know my preference headcanon about them, ask me.

[ticklishraspberries]

Giggly Glam (Connor, Zoe)

Summary: Connor buys himself makeup, then realizes he has no idea how to do makeup. Zoe tries to help. (Take this Connor lives and gets to heal his relationship with his sister thing I wrote. No one asked me to, I just have an obsession with this stupid fandom. Enjoy it or else /lh.)

He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to buy it. He’d only gone into the beauty aisle to buy a new bottle of black nail polish, and had somehow ended up picking out a few cheap makeup products. It was a completely impulsive, stupid decision, and if Connor had an ounce of sense, he’d turn back around and return it all.

But he didn’t. Instead, he decided to use it as an olive branch, or whatever the saying was. You see, almost dying had sort of knocked some sense into his head. Well, that plus some therapy, and seeing the looks that Zoe kept shooting him across the table at dinner.

So, maybe when he got back from the hospital, he’d made a whole big scene about how sorry he was for the way he’d acted towards her, towards them all, and maybe he’d cried harder than he had in years, and clung to his mom like a scared child on the first day of school.

Yeah, looking back, that had been pretty embarrassing. But it had shattered the layer of ice between him and his family, which he supposed was a good thing. He just hadn’t worked up the courage to dip into that murky water again, afraid he’d do something stupid like cry again, or make it worse by clamming up and telling his sister to fuck off like he would have a few months prior.

But a gift? It was an olive branch, he supposed. Not an apology, not an explanation, but it was something. So when he got home, he went right up to Zoe’s door and knocked.

“Come in,” she replied, and she looked surprised when it was Connor who entered, not her mother. “What do you want?”

Her tone wasn’t overly harsh, just a tad annoyed, mostly confused. Connor cleared his throat awkwardly. “Uh, I got you something. At the store. I don’t know if you even really wear makeup, but I just…Yeah. Here you go.”

He placed the bag on her dresser, and turned to leave, but paused when she spoke.

“Makeup?” Zoe asked, standing up off of her bed and walking over, snatching up the bag and looking inside. “Thanks, I guess. I don’t wear it that much, but it’s good to have.”

Connor nodded. “Cool.”

“Why though?”

“Why what?”

Zoe raised an eyebrow. “I can’t remember the last time you got me a gift. At least, one that wasn’t clearly bought by mom, who put your name on the label. So why?”

Connor shrugged. “I mean, honestly, I bought it on impulse and realized I was never gonna use it, so I gave it to you. Not very thought out, I guess. Do I get points for trying?” he asked, his tone light although there was a pit of anxiety in his stomach. He still wasn’t used to talking to Zoe like this; normal, casual conversation wasn’t really his forte.

“You got it for yourself?” Zoe asked. “Why wouldn’t you wear it?”

“Cause I get called gay at school for wearing nail polish, I think eyeliner would be pushing my luck,” he replied. When she didn’t seem amused, he continued, “Plus, I have no idea how to use any of it.”

“Where do you think I learned it? It’s not some inherent skill that comes with being a woman. Look up a tutorial online or something,” she said. “Fuck what kids at school think.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” he shot back. God, could he not get through one conversation without being an asshole? He opened his mouth to apologize, but it got stuck somewhere in his throat and wouldn’t come out. It was like every time he tried to swallow his pride, he fucking choked on it.

Zoe just rolled her eyes. “I was gonna offer to just show you myself, but if you’re gonna be a dick, I’ll just keep my secrets to myself.”

“What do you mean show me? I’m not just gonna sit here and watch you do your own makeup,” he said.

“I could do it for you. I mean, I’m not great at it, but at least you’d get an idea of what it’s supposed to look like. And if you don’t like how it looks, I’ll keep the makeup and we can pretend this never happened.”

Connor thought about it for a moment, nibbling at his bottom lip. “I guess. Uh, thanks. And sorry for, um, snapping at you.”

“Whatever,” Zoe replied, but she had a small smile on her face. Almost fond. “Sit on my bed. Wait, but take your shoes off first.”

He obeyed wordlessly, feeling incredibly strange. Zoe’s room had changed a lot since they were kids. The walls that had once been covered in stickers of flowers and photos of boy band members were now decorated much more tastefully, although Harry Styles was still making an appearance. Her twin bed had been upgraded to a full-sized one, and it was in the middle of the room rather than pushed against the wall like it had once been. Her sheets were no longer Disney princess themed, but rather soft blue ones with stars on them.

As he sat down, Zoe began peeling plastic off of each makeup product: A stick of black eyeliner, and a palette of four eyeshadows, in varying shades of purple, and a tube of mascara.

“Just your eye makeup, or do you want a full glam?”

Connor furrowed his brows at her, chuckling. “Full glam? Nah, I’ll pass.”

“Okay, okay, fine.”

She placed the products on the bed, then went back over to her dresser to grab a cup of brushes. “Your first mistake was thinking that the little wand this eyeshadow comes with would be enough,” she said. “You’re lucky that mom keeps buying me sets of brushes for every holiday.”

“Every holiday?”

“Every. Holiday. Three Hanukkahs in a row, two birthdays. So many brushes.”

Connor snorted. “I guess she thinks you wear ‘full glam’ every day,” he said, putting air quotes around the phrase she’d used, which made her chuckle.

She sat down on the bed beside him, her tongue poking between her teeth as she thought. “Okay, I think I’ll do your eyeshadow first…Just close your eyes and try to sit still,” she said.

“Yes ma’am,” he muttered, shutting his eyes as he was told, and he heard her shuffling around with the products.

After a moment, he could feel her hand hovering in front of him, and braced for impact, ever so dramatic. A somewhat flat, stiff brush touched his eyelid, and his face twitched despite his best efforts. He got it under control quickly, the sensation surprisingly easy to get used to.

“So, I’m putting the lighter color on your lid right now,” Zoe explained. “And after, I’m gonna use the darker one sort of, like, around it.”

“Sounds fancy,” he replied.

Zoe snorted, using her other hand to hold the side of his face, keeping him in place. Connor couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so close to his sister, or shared this much physical contact with her. It was weird, but it somehow felt natural, still so familiar. Her fingertips were rough from guitar string scars, and her hands were steady.

He heard her switching the brush, presumably also switching the color. The heel of her hand pressed against his jaw as she continued.

The brush was much fluffier than the last, and she was doing it so lightly, it felt like an annoying itch, and he scrunched his face up on instinct.

“Stay still,” she reminded him.

He huffed, but attempted to comply. He managed to keep his composure for a bit, but as the brush stroked against his face, turning the outer corner of his left eye the striking color of artificial grape candy, the feeling turned from an annoying itch to a feather-light sensation.

Connor couldn’t help it; he giggled, turning his face away from her.

“Stop moving!” Zoe said, retracting her hand.

“I can’t help it!” he replied. “It…feels weird.”

She ignored him and attempted to continue, but when the brush touched his skin again, he giggled again.

“Does it tickle?” Zoe asked, sounding almost incredulous. “There’s no way your face is ticklish.”

He felt his cheeks turn hot, and scowled. “Shut up,” he said, knowing he had no argument that would convince her that she was wrong.

Zoe’s lips twitched.

“Shut up. It’s not funny.”

She lost it, starting to giggle herself. “I’m sorry, but it is funny.”

Normally embarrassment felt white-hot, a rage-inducing humiliation that sent him running for the hills or taking out his anger on whoever was closest, a pit in his stomach. He was expecting that feeling to surface at that moment, but all he could feel was the color in his face and Zoe’s gaze on him.

Maybe it was because there were very few things his sister hadn’t witnessed: She knew him when he was still a gap-toothed child that was afraid of bugs, or when he grew into a pre-teen with braces and a constantly cracking voice.

So, instead of freaking out, he just glared at her half-heartedly. “Whatever.”

“Are you gonna survive if I continue?” she asked, grinning.

He rolled his eyes but nodded, bracing himself for the brush to return. He managed to sit still for the rest of the process, perhaps by sheer willpower or because Zoe was using a firmer touch to spare him some dignity.

“I’m kind of terrified of poking your eye out if I do your mascara,” she said to fill the silence. “Or eyeliner. I’ve never done it on anyone else.”

“Very reassuring,” he muttered.

All the brushes were away from his face, but he kept his eyes shut in case she went back, which was apparently a mistake, as Zoe had taken his sass as a chance to poke him in the ribs, making him flinch and huff out a laugh.

“I can’t believe I forgot you were ticklish,” she said.

“Please forget again,” he replied. “And, if I remember correctly, you are too. I’m not above revenge.”

Zoe laughed. “Okay, truce. But it’s nice to see you smile again.”

The sincerity of her statement made Connor freeze up, just for a moment. He was wading into foreign territory enough, but genuine conversation was almost too much. “Uh, thanks. I think?”

“Sorry, I just—You know, it’s just been a while since…” she trailed off.

“I know.”

She nodded, twirling the eyeliner pencil between her fingers. “So, do you trust me to not blind you?”

“...Not really, but fuck it.”

It turned out that Connor really rocked the color purple, and he loved the way that black eyeliner looked on him, and Zoe offered to show him how to do it himself next time.

He left his sister’s room and walked down the hallway with a giddy feeling in his stomach, something he hadn’t felt for a long time. It occurred to him that he had really missed his sister, no matter how hard he’d ignored it in the past. They still had a lot to work on, but Connor felt like something healed in them both that day, and it was all thanks to an impulsive purchase.

[variousqueerthings]

I have watched the Christmas Special I am allowed back on the tumbls.

thoughts! nd a little feelings!

we're really starting in on the ideas of the season - magic and science as one, belief as a power, things somewhat to the left of conventional reality, tricksters (and eventually gods), and those are simply some of my favourite things!

on that note, the song that the doctor and ruby sing very similar to how donna beat that one part of the toymaker's maze

this may be the most of a musical episode we get, but I think we should still have a full one -- confirmed both ncuti and millie can sing so...

themes of family as not a biological decree, but as choice and luck and what you decide to call family

(how big is the ruby-is-susan's-child fan theory?)

I also note that introducing a companion with a mystery in this is different than back in m*ffat-era, when it was from the doctor's perspective of wanting to solve the companion, rather than be with the companion and have the companion involved in the mystery (companion as plot point rather than as character), whereas this time around it's ruby's mystery, and in fact the doctor stepped back from figuring it out which is... interesting

some things as foreshadowing: ruby's birth-mother as mystery, themes of family as mentioned - created, found, lost perhaps? - that tie ruby's past with the doctor as the timeless child possibly eventually in a very tangible way (susaaan), how easily one can change reality (mavity just came back, which feels like a small example of how easy it is, alongside the toymaker in the last episode, and the goblins going back in time and stealing ruby in this one), how different beings operate under different laws than ours...

ncuti is giving perfect doctor, as we knew, but I think it deserves to be said! also a tried and true doctor deflection moment of "I've got no one" and then Moving On -- because this episode (and I hazard a guess, season) is so family-focused, I assume there'll be a return to all of that. definitely giving benevolent trickster in a universe of malevolent trickster feel (right before he said that maybe he's the bad luck, I was saying that he's the good luck bringer, which was a fun coincidence...)

I like ruby. I think there's a lot of space to gauge still, as this episode did a lot to give us her background (and a bit of her personality, which is obviously very companion-type), but I'm not quite sure how much millie gibson sticks out to me on her own, especially opposite someone as Big as ncuti gatwa. I wasn't initially a fan of casting another young actor (and then I thought, oh she might be playing someone younger, like yasmin finney did, invoking characters like zoe or ace, but then they haven't done that either), so I'm still a bit on the fence in terms of how she's going to set herself apart from a majority of attractive young white women that play companions, apart from the backstory itself, because so far I'd say... kind of a shrug, yeah she's fine, but she's not super memorable. that being said this is early days -- her background is well-built, she's very much Of A New Generation, which I'm guessing is why they went with someone around this age and they've made sure to represent in various scenes, I like that she's Mancunian, I like the scenes between her and her family. so yeah, I like her, I think currently that she's sweet. also millie gibson has quite a bit of background considering how young she is, and specifically won awards for her work on coronation street, which, I always feel like rtd works well with bringing out the best kind of emotions from actors who've been on soaps, makes me hope for Bigger, which I think DW (and rtd) is good at getting from people

spire through the goblin king's stomach. brutal

on the flipside, the christmas-star death seemed a bit intense, so am glad the doctor saved davina mccall

oh yeah, and the neighbour woman... there was that too. mysteries

fun episode. I'm never expecting brilliance from a christmas special, just fun! and I had very good fun! and also mysteries...

[leffee]

The scent of sizzling barbecue wafted through the air as Shahrukh, Pepper, and their friends gathered at Zoe's backyard for a casual get-together. Sunil, Penny, and Russell were already engrossed in a lively conversation near the grill, while Minka lounged on a nearby hammock.

Shahrukh leaned against the fence, his expression contemplative as he watched Vinnie, his boyfriend, help Zoe set up the outdoor table. Pepper, noticing Shahrukh's distant demeanor, approached him with a furrowed brow.

"What's up with you?" Pepper asked, her tone laced with accusation. "You've been acting weird around Vinnie lately. Being manipulative again are we?"

Shahrukh's eyes widened in disbelief. "Me? Manipulate him? Where did you get that idea?"

"Come on, Shahrukh, I've seen the way you interact with him," Pepper retorted, her voice rising. "You're always trying to control him, dictate his decisions. It's not healthy!"

Vinnie, who had been quietly setting the table, glanced up at the escalating tension between Shahrukh and Pepper but remained silent, unsure of how to intervene.

Shahrukh took a step closer to Pepper, his voice low but firm. "You don't know anything about our relationship, Pepper. Just because I care about Vinnie doesn't mean I'm trying to control him. Maybe you should mind your own business for once."

Pepper's cheeks flushed with anger, her fists clenched at her sides. "Fine, Shahrukh. If you won't listen to reason, then I guess I have nothing more to say to you."

With that, Pepper stormed off, leaving Shahrukh and Vinnie in tense silence amidst the backdrop of laughter and chatter from their friends.

Zoe noticed Pepper's stormy expression as she stormed away from Shahrukh and approached her with a concerned frown. "Hey, Pepper, what's wrong?"

Tears of anger welled up in Pepper's eyes as she recounted the heated exchange with Shahrukh. "I just don't understand him sometimes, Zo. He's so defensive about everything. I was just trying to look out for Vinnie."

Zoe listened sympathetically, placing a comforting hand on Pepper's shoulder. "I get it, Pepper. But maybe Shahrukh didn't realize how his actions were coming across. Let me talk to him, okay? I'm sure we can sort this out."

With a nod, Pepper wiped away her tears, grateful for Zoe's support.

Zoe made her way over to where Shahrukh stood, his arms crossed defiantly. "Shahrukh, can we talk for a moment?"

Shahrukh sighed, his expression weary. "What is it, Zoe?"

"Pepper's really upset," Zoe began gently. "She feels like you misunderstood her intentions earlier. Maybe you could talk to her and clear things up?"

Shahrukh's jaw clenched, his frustration evident. "Why should I apologize? She's the one who accused me of something I didn't do. If anyone should apologize, it's her."

Zoe sighed, realizing she had a difficult task ahead. "Shahrukh, I know it's frustrating, but sometimes misunderstandings happen. Maybe if you talk to Pepper, you can both see each other's perspectives.”

“No,”Shahrukh said As he walked off, Zoe stood there, stunned. Vinnie, who had been silently observing the situation, approached her with a sympathetic look. "Hey, Zoe, I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. You guys should just leave Shahrukh alone," he said softly.

Zoe nodded, understanding Vinnie's stance. "Okay, Vinnie. If you say so."she said defeated. “I am going to go check on Pepper one more time.”

-This came from us talking about Shahrukh wanting control and the girls all thinking that he’s manipulating vinnie to keep him where he wants him- 

To anyone reading it who obviously doesn't have the context aside this thing above ^ in short: Sharukh is not actually manipulative or controlling :)

You know, as wrong as Pepper is, unknowingly of course, I just can't help but enjoy her being protective over Vinnie <- literally me.

I like how at the end with Zoe Sharukh is just "No," like he's not dealing with this, not even gonna try.

Ey, let me just say, Vinnie would enjoy if Sharukh was controlling (like a healthy degree of controlling, or maybe even a bit unhealthy) cause that's basically just being dominant and that's the stuff for Vinnie. Like, he doesn't have to, but since he isssssssssss.

Imagine that after that Sharukh did secretely got a little too much in his mind, overthinking and coming to a conclusion that maybe he is actually controlling and didn't even realize it. That's not true, but you know, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from being upset and maybe he would start being a little less around Vinnie and talking to him and stuff like that, just in general so it doesn't look like he's controlling him. Like one time as he has done often and without any protests from Sharukh Vinnie just casually sat down on Sharukh's lap, but Sharukh then quickly and firmly took him off of his lap, thinking that it's for the best but Vinnie's just sad :( "Pookie?"

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 9: WE VISIT THE DEMON DUDE RANCH

Magnus looked personally offended at what he'd just read as the new chapter title. "I take it back, I don't want to know what the Triple G stands for anymore."

"Ugh, I'm with you on this one," Alex huffed. "Manly dudes strutting around being all macho with cowboy boots sounds as appealing as going shopping with Karen. Unless some Brokeback Mountain shit goes on, I'm out."

Magnus felt a very debilitating sense of hope as he realized Alex might not think muscular dudes like Hugh Jackman were his type...but wait, what did that say about himself?

"I'm sensing a lot of denim in this upcoming chapter and I am not going to like it," Thalia grumbled.

"Wearing a cowboy hat to cover up horns should be no one's idea of a good time," Jason agreed, though he would totally call in an I told you so to Percy if he guessed it right.

"But, but, cute animals!" Will protested. He enjoyed the south, thank you very much, and missed it quite a lot in the winter especially. It was really charming in the right places.

Nico was huddled up in his seat deep into his jacket. He'd been loathing this oncoming chapter and more of his crappy life on display. Will sighed, but all of the cute farm animals in the world and a merciful dry cold in the dead of winter had nothing on Nico's miserable brown eyes that just wanted to get through this.

We finally stopped in a room full of waterfalls. The floor was one big pit, ringed by a slippery stone walkway. Around us, on all four walls, water tumbled from huge pipes. The water spilled down into the pit, and even when I shined a light, I couldn't see the bottom.

"Now that would have been a badass Poseidon cabin," Jason said.

"I could do my own laundry without getting out of bed," Percy chuckled.

Briares slumped against the wall. He scooped up water in a dozen hands and washed his face. "This pit goes straight to Tartarus," he murmured. "I should jump in and save you trouble."

Percy winced uneasily at that. "I could never have a slumber party in my room though, I just know somebody's bound to fall in."

"Still think it's appropriate," Jason muttered. This area summed up his feelings about Neptune pretty well.

"Don't talk that way," Annabeth told him. "You can come back to camp with us. You can help us prepare. You know more about fighting Titans than anybody."

"You really did just stumble into a game changer of a friend in prison," Jason agreed.

"I will not be putting that in the summary, my mother would kill me!" Percy yelped.

"I have nothing to offer," Briares said. "I have lost everything."

"That's when you should build something," Alex said in one of his most serious tones of voice.

"Tyson would help," Magnus agreed with a gentleness to his voice that didn't surprise anyone.

"What about your brothers?" Tyson asked. "The other two must stand tall as mountains! We can take you to them."

"Oh, so he just needs a growth spurt, explains a lot," Percy chuckled, but it fell flat. Annabeth wasn't here to elbow him to shut up about still making jokes on that.

Briares's expression morphed to something even sadder: his grieving face. "They are no more. They faded."

The waterfalls thundered. Tyson stared into the pit and blinked tears out of his eye.

"What exactly do you mean, they faded?" I asked. "I thought monsters were immortal, like the gods."

Yet Percy looked as somber as anyone else for that question being said out loud. There had already been evidence enough immortal didn't mean one would live forever, Zoe had been more than enough of an experience for them to learn that; having been erased from history even before her death.

"Percy," Grover said weakly, "even immortality has limits. Sometimes...sometimes monsters get forgotten and they lose their will to stay immortal."

Looking at Grover's face, I wondered if he was thinking of Pan. I remembered something Medusa had told us once: how her sisters, the other two gorgons, had passed on and left her alone.

Something of that still nagged at Percy's mind, those two Bargain Mart Ladies that had chased him non-stop no matter how convinced he was they should have died from that bowling ball accident.

Then last year Apollo said something about the old god Helios disappearing and leaving him with the duties of the sun god. I'd never thought about it too much, but now, looking at Briares, I realized how terrible it would be to be so old—thousands and thousands of years old—and totally alone.

"Makes Mr. D a tad more relatable, huh?" Will asked sadly. "Stuck alone at that camp."

"He's not alone," Percy scowled, "he's got us ants there to torture!" He didn't really shout though. It did make a kind of sense put that way, even if he'd still forever wish they weren't Dionysus's punishment.

"I must go," Briares said.

"Kronos's army will invade camp," Tyson said. "We need help."

Briares hung his head. "I cannot, Cyclops."

"You are strong."

"Not anymore." Briares rose.

"Hey," I grabbed one of his arms and pulled him aside, where the roar of the water would hide our words. "Briares, we need you. In case you haven't noticed, Tyson believes in you. He risked his life for you."

I told him about everything—Luke's invasion plan, the Labyrinth entrance at camp, Daedalus's workshop, Kronos's golden coffin.

Briares just shook his head. "I cannot, demigod. I do not have a finger gun to win this game." To prove his point, he made one hundred finger guns.

Percy's heart flinched in his chest like it was trying to flee him. Looking at that given him a shot of pure fear, like looking down a military execution aimed right at him.

But it was just a game. A silly trick he'd done to help Briares escape, but like Magnus had said, it was a lesson the hundred-handed one was turning back on him now to leave.

"Maybe that's why monsters fade," I said. "Maybe it's not about what the mortals believe. Maybe it's because you give up on yourself."

"Wise words for a seaweed brain," Thalia shook her head affectionately. "Is that why you pulled him away, so Annabeth wouldn't punch you for mocking her?"

Percy grinned and mock wiped his brow in relief. "You caught me, please don't tell?"

"Nah, it can be our secret," she smiled.

His pure brown eyes regarded me. His face morphed into an expression I recognized—shame.

Percy knew even Tyson couldn't have stopped this guy and dragged him along, but he still sat there wishing he could. That he'd done something, anything else.

"I never said you have to reenact his faces Percy," Alex told him in exasperation. "Put the shame face away man, you did all you could."

"Yeah, I guess," Percy wanted to believe that anyways.

Then he turned and trudged off down the corridor until he was lost in the shadows.

Tyson sobbed.

"I lied, bring him back and stab him," Alex scowled, hands twitching for his garrote for anyone making Tyson cry.

"Maybe a tad extreme," Magnus put a cautious hand on his shoulder.

"It also disproves Nico's theory I can win any fight, because I sure didn't win that," Percy groaned. He wanted so badly to offer his brother comfort, but even back then he had no clue how.

"It's okay," Grover hesitantly patted his shoulder, which must've taken all his courage.

"I still say that was hitting Medusa, while blind, and flying," Jason grinned.

"Personal courage and battle courage aren't always the same," Thalia muttered.

Tyson sneezed. "It's not okay, goat boy. He was my hero."

"Grover should offer him a jar of peanut butter," Alex said, "nobody could be upset then."

"People allergic to peanut butter," Percy corrected.

"Have you met somebody with a nut allergy? Half of them live life on the edge and eat anyways for that stuff," Alex scoffed at his naivety.

I wanted to make him feel better, but I wasn't sure what to say.

"Never meet your hero's," Nico said casually.

Percy winced, and looked at him again. Percy had looked at him more today than he possibly had their entire time knowing each other.

Nico met those sea green eyes with a sense of relief he'd finally said it out loud for the first time. Not everything, like The Word, he still felt a cold chill run through him every time he realized he'd said that out loud, but it got slowly better every time he realized he did. Like a tight muscle unclenching itself after years of being knotted. As bad as it was for Tyson to learn, Will and Alex had been right. It was still better to know and feel the disappointment than live in ignorance forever.

Finally Annabeth stood and shouldered her backpack. "Come on, guys. This pit is making me nervous. Let's find a better place to camp for the night."

"Reason number 33 she should lead all quests," Percy nodded in agreement. "I would have just stood there until we all fell asleep trying to think of something to say."

"It's okay Percy, nobody accused you of your great strength being rousing speeches," Thalia promised.

We settled in a corridor made of huge marble blocks. It looked like it could've been part of a Greek tomb, with bronze torch holders fastened to the walls.

"Did you cross over to Egypt?" Magnus asked wearily. "Because it sounds like you're sleeping in a pyramid, and I've had enough nightmares of being chased by mummies without you adding to them." The kids in his class used to laugh at him for thinking that 1999 movie was anything remotely scary like it was his fault!

"Pretty sure the Labyrinth is restricted to America," Percy said with a shrug like that was any help at all, and also, no real confidence in that statement.

It had to be an older part of the maze, and Annabeth decided this was a good sign.

"We must be close to Daedalus's workshop," she said. "Get some rest, everybody. We'll keep going in the morning."

"Which means it's probably going to change to the modern equivalent of an art deco building when you wake up," Jason frowned.

"You and Annabeth can compare architecture tips later," Percy groaned.

"How do we know when it's morning?" Grover asked.

"When you all wake up together and happy," Will said, but the awkward laugh that followed was a little to real considering they'd all been living that problem themselves for the past few days under the ocean.

"Just rest," she insisted.

Grover didn't need to be told twice. He pulled a heap of straw out of his pack, ate some of it, made a pillow out of the rest, and was snoring in no time.

"Have I mentioned how awesome that is," Magnus grinned. "We could eradicate homelessness if more people were part goat."

"You heard it here first folks, genetic experimentation to turn all people into greek myths," Alex spoke into an invisible microphone, then tipped it towards Magnus. "Tell us, who would be your first test subject?"

Magnus hesitated for a moment, he really should have thought about that one first and not said anything, but it would be worse for himself if he didn't. And this wasn't just something he'd want to laugh off. So he looked him in the eyes and said, "anybody who denies there's a homeless problem."

Alex grinned and tipped the 'microphone,' back towards himself. "Great answer. Back to you Jason!"

"What did we say about eradicating news broadcasts?" Percy asked in exasperation.

"Only the nonimportant ones that don't check their facts," Alex grinned.

Tyson took longer getting to sleep. He tinkered with some metal scraps from his building kit for a while, but whatever he was making, he wasn't happy with it. He kept disassembling the pieces. "I'm sorry I lost the shield," I told him. "You worked so hard to repair it."

Tyson looked up. His eye was bloodshot from crying. "Do not worry, brother. You saved me. You wouldn't have had to if Briares had helped."

"He was just scared," I said. "I'm sure he'll get over it."

"He is not strong," Tyson said. "He is not important anymore."

"Note to self, start lifting weights," Thalia mock whispered and doodled on her palm, before smacking said invisible piece of paper on Percy's chest.

He brushed it off with an exasperated look at her, but didn't try to fight off a smile.

He heaved a big sad sigh, then closed his eye. The metal pieces fell out of his hand, still unassembled, and Tyson began to snore.

"Now that is a magical ability I bet plenty of people would volunteer to be willing to undergo experiments to do," Jason said.

"Depends on how optional the snoring is," Percy shrugged.

I tried to fall asleep myself, but I couldn't. Something about getting chased by a large dragon lady with poison swords made it real hard to relax.

Will stroked an imaginary beard as if in deep contemplation before snapping his fingers. "Then maybe don't do that again!"

"It wasn't voluntary!" Percy yelped.

"He says, as if he couldn't have turned right back around when he found himself in a prison cell," Jason rolled his eyes.

"To be fair," Thalia said of herself as much as him, "I don't think it's humanly possible to not be curious and look around when you pop up somewhere."

"It is if you don't want to die and or be chased by a large dragon lady with poison swords," Magnus frowned.

"Well look at you and your cushy life," Percy grinned.

I picked up my bedroll and dragged it over to where Annabeth was sitting, keeping watch.

Magnus fought the urge to cover his ears and start humming very loudly. They weren't old enough to have anything resembling a conversation that should warrant that. Yet.

I sat down next to her.

"You should sleep," she said.

"Can't. You doing all right?"

"Sure. First day leading the quest. Just great."

"We'll get there," I said. "We'll find the workshop before Luke does."

She brushed her hair out of her face. She had a smudge of dirt on her chin, and I imagined what she must've looked like when she was little, wandering around the country with Thalia and Luke. Once she'd saved them from the mansion of the evil Cyclops when she was only seven. Even when she looked scared, like now, I knew she had a lot of guts.

Magnus read that with a sense of longing that seemed strange to the others. He wished he could sit around and talk to Thalia and Percy about that time, hear more about her life outside of what Percy had gleaned.

It didn't feel like his business to ask of others though. He wanted to ask her first if she even wanted some weird kid in her life that was part of a family she clearly was on rocky terms with.

"I just wish the quest was logical," she complained.

"It really does sound like the worst scenario for her," Jason agreed with a pained grimace. "Like a real life greek myth, she finally got her wish and it's just mocking her."

"Jason, all Greek tragedy's were real," Percy reminded a tad smugly.

"I'm going to make your death a mystery," he rolled his eyes.

"I mean, we're traveling but we have no idea where we'll end up. How can you walk from New York to California in a day?"

"And without any bathroom breaks," Will agreed in awe. "That's got to be some kind of record."

"Who says I didn't stop and use the little Poseidon's room in that waterfall?" Percy said way to nonchalantly for that to be a joke. "It went straight down to Tartarus after all, and the automatic flushing was nice."

The others groaned while Thalia told Will, "you walked right into that one. Did you really think he wouldn't follow through on that set up?"

"Lesson learned," he promised.

"Space isn't the same in the maze."

"I know, I know. It's just..." She looked at me hesitantly. "Percy, I was kidding myself. All that planning and reading, I don't have a clue where we're going."

"You guys never know what you're doing and it works out," Thalia cheerfully waved off.

Percy gave her a strange, lingering smile as Jason read.

"You're doing great. Besides, we never know what we're doing. It always works out.

"Dammit," she sighed before they both started snickering.

Remember Circe's island?"

She snorted. "You made a cute guinea pig."

"And Waterland, how you got us thrown off that ride?"

"I got us thrown off? That was totally your fault!"

"It was literally her fault with that maximum height nonsense!" Alex argued. Mostly because they suspected he just liked to argue.

"Percy started it with dumping all that water into the ride to escape the spiders," Magnus cheerfully reminded on behalf of his cousin.

They probably would have gone on like that, like they all needed a live reenactment of Percy and Annabeth bickering. Jason had the good sense to clear his throat and silently remind them now wasn't the time.

"See? It'll be fine."

She smiled, which I was glad to see, but the smile faded quickly.

"Percy, what did Hera mean when she said you knew the way to get through the maze?"

"Lies and hypocrisy I assume," Alex scowled anew.

"Did she really show up to sow dissent between you guys?" Magnus sounded more troubled than Jason did about how these gods worked sometimes.

"I mean, that is a thing she would do," Nico said callously while Percy thumped his pen against his temple in frustration. "This time though, I honestly think it might have been meant as a helpful hint." Certainly more than he'd ever gotten, but if this was the kind of help he would have received he was just slightly grateful none of the gods had tried.

"I don't know," I admitted. "Honestly."

"You'd tell me if you did?"

"You have literally never tried to hide anything from her," Magnus said critically. "I can't imagine you starting now."

"Thanks man," Percy grinned. It felt nice sometimes to always be confident someone so like Annabeth saw the best in him too.

"Sure. Maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe if you told me the last line of the prophecy, it would help."

"And maybe if I told you what a binturong was you'd be able to cure cancer," Will snorted.

"What's a binturong?" Percy asked blankly.

"Don't change the subject," Thalia tisked at him, already knowing that was a lost cause trying to get him to pay attention to one thing at a time.

Annabeth shivered. "Not here. Not in the dark."

"What about the choice Janus mentioned? Hera said—"

"Stop," Annabeth snapped.

Percy sat back in his seat with a troubled sigh. She'd never snapped at him to shut it before. Their first fight? Or did that whole Athena hates Poseidon thing count first-

He was distracted from that as Magnus kept going in the slightly awkward pause.

Then she took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Percy. I'm just stressed. But I don't...I've got to think about it."

Nico felt the oddest sensation yet for her since he'd been down here. Sympathy.

Not quite pity, she had Percy to talk to about all of her problems if she wanted. He was still wrapping his head around the fact Alex and Will had bothered to talk to him. No, it was the recent knowledge of how overwhelming the thoughts in your head could be and knowing you needed to sit with them and yet having no where to start, no way to sort them out that didn't leave you in a mess.

He hoped she did talk to Percy about what was bothering her before it overwhelmed her. He wouldn't wish his confusing life on anyone.

We sat in silence, listening to strange creaks and groans in the maze, the echo of stones grinding together as tunnels changed, grew, and expanded.

The dark made me think about the visions I'd seen of Nico di Angelo, and suddenly I realized something.

"Nico is down here somewhere," I said. "That's how he disappeared from camp. He found the Labyrinth. Then he found a path that led down even farther—to the Underworld. But now he's back in the maze. He's coming after me."

"I guess I should have been more worried what kind of take me out he was going to do," Percy said glibly. He'd never realized you could assassinate someone or have them out for dinner with just one word.

Nico looked at him terrified, like Percy was going to snap his fingers and crush all his bones. Percy just gave him the least awkward smile yet, he'd thought a joke would help lighten the mood.

Thalia elbowed him, hard, while Jason and Magnus looked on with pure confusion. "What?" Percy protested.

"Percy, not everybody's so casual about, um, whatever you and Nico talked about," Thalia whispered to him.

"What?" He was more confused than anything, but he still felt a blush coming back. "Why? Will and Alex are both weirdly okay with whatever they say?"

"But not everybody is," she hissed quietly right by his ear. "Just, wait for him to say anything first before you do."

He had no clue what she was getting at, but he shrugged and let it go.

Annabeth was quiet for a long time. "Percy, I hope you're wrong. But if you're right..." she stared at the flashlight beam, casting a dim circle on the stone wall. I had a feeling she was thinking about her prophecy. I'd never seen her look more tired.

Percy knew that feeling intricately. Sitting in the back of a truck with abused animals and gnawing over what could be so much it made everything hopeless while you stumbled into the next catastrophe.

Annabeth had never let him down on his quest though, and he was determined he would do the same for her.

"How about I take first watch?" I said. "I'll wake you if anything happens."

Annabeth looked like she wanted to protest, but she just nodded, slumped into her bedroll, and closed her eyes.

There had been so little light in that tunnel, his brain had been going haywire all night over the smallest noise. He'd flicked a spider off her at one point before she had to wake up and realize that. Her tangled blonde curls kept tickling her neck and she'd moved and brushed at them in her sleep, smudging that dirt on her cheek as she muttered.

He probably wasn't that good at guard duty, looking back.

When it was my turn to sleep, I dreamed I was back in the old man's Labyrinth prison.

"What's a level above a 3D experience?" Magnus looked at him tragically. "Percy's over here living a double life being in this place two times at once and it's depressing."

"You're telling me," Percy agreed with a thankful smile all the same. Anybody else giving him that pitying look would have made him uncomfortable, but Magnus seemed genuinely sorry for him.

It looked more like a workshop now. Tables were littered with measuring instruments. A forge burned red hot in the corner. The boy I'd seen in the last dream was stoking the bellows, except he was taller now, almost my age.

"That awkward moment where I'm not sure if I'd take juvie or this?" Alex grumbled. The freedom to be able to work in a prison was not something he'd tolerate though under any circumstances, so it was a moot point.

A weird funnel device was attached to the forge's chimney, trapping the smoke and heat and channeling it through a pipe into the floor, next to a big bronze manhole cover.

It was daytime. The sky above was blue, but the walls of the maze cast deep shadows across the workshop. After being in tunnels so long, I found it weird that part of the Labyrinth could be open to the sky. Somehow that made the maze seem like even a crueler place.

Magnus had thought much the same the first time he heard it. He lived the feeling every day of seeing everything he'd never have again as he pulled his jacket tighter around him.

The old man looked sickly. He was terribly thin, his hands raw and red from working. White hair covered his eyes, and his tunic was smudged with grease. He was bent over a table, working on some kind of long metal patchwork—like a swath of chain mail. He picked up a delicate curl of bronze and fitted it into place.

"Done," he announced. "It's done."

He picked up his project. It was so beautiful, my heart leaped—metal wings constructed from thousands of interlocking bronze feathers. There were two sets. One still lay on the table. Daedalus stretched the frame, and the wings expanded twenty feet. Part of me knew it could never fly. It was too heavy, and there'd be no way to get off the ground. But the craftsmanship was amazing. Metal feathers caught the light and flashed thirty different shades of gold.

Thalia shuddered at those things being strapped to her back, but Alex's breath caught in his throat at the beautiful imagery. He could turn into a golden bird if he wished, and yet the craftsman ship of somebody making the painstaking effort in those lit a unique fire in him to long and try the same.

The boy left the bellows and ran over to see. He grinned, despite the fact that he was grimy and sweaty. "Father, you're a genius!"

The old man smiled. "Tell me something I don't know, Icarus.

"Why do I know that name?" Magnus frowned. It was one of those moments he swore he'd heard through osmosis, something circled and passed around in word of mouth he'd swear he had no attachment to.

"Not sure," Percy agreed, "but a kid named Ick- anything must be happy to at least have some isolation from other kids."

Jason snorted in surprise while Thalia sighed in exasperation at the idiot.

Now hurry. It will take at least an hour to attach them. Come."

"You first," Icarus said.

The old man protested, but Icarus insisted. "You made them, Father. You should get the honor of wearing them first."

The boy attached a leather harness to his father's chest,

This boy adored his father, which left a strange silence in the room as Magnus read over that. Not one of them knew that feeling. Most of them barely had a relationship with their dad if they talked at all.

like climbing gear, with straps that ran from his shoulders to his wrists. Then he began fastening on the wings, using a metal canister that looked like an enormous hot-glue gun.

"And you said I didn't have any hand to scar knowledge," Percy grinned. "Try helping your mom out with some arts and crafts project and see if you come away without one of these," he prodded his ring finger where a slight discoloration of skin was, right below a sizeable deep scar from one of his early sword practices.

Or, it used to be.

"I would never accuse a kid like you of not knowing about hot-glue Percy," Alex grinned. "Your mom probably banned you from using them too early in life."

"A successful win, glad you know me so well," he chuckled, but it sounded choked up as he kept prodding at the flesh in his fingers that still moved like normal...yet he'd swear they were somebody else's hands for a moment. He knew that scar should have been there, Annabeth had told him to put water on it and he'd deliberately ignored her because a scar had sounded like the coolest thing to have in that moment...Were his memories coming back wrong...

Thalia had to nudge him again, hard, to get him to pay attention. He felt like he should have a bruise on his ribs by this point as often as she did that, but his creepy baby hands rubbed at the spot and somehow knew that wouldn't happen no matter how many times she did.

"The wax compound should hold for several hours," Daedalus said nervously as his son worked. "But we must let it set first. And we would do well to avoid flying too high or too low. The sea would wet the wax seals—"

"And the sun's heat would loosen them," the boy finished.

Magnus's mind nagged at him more stubbornly by the moment. A story about a boy who flew to close to the sun? He'd read an article once on where the idea was based on, and something of greek stories had played a part in it.

His stomach started sinking low as he put two and two together. There had yet been a Greek story that didn't end in tragedy.

"Yes, Father. We've been through this a million times!"

"One cannot be too careful."

"I have complete faith in your inventions, Father! No one has ever been as smart as you."

Thalia's stomach pitched unpleasantly. The gods never liked it when something like that was spoken into the air. The Fates themselves may have just sealed this boys fate before Athena could have concocted a plan.

The old man's eyes shone. It was obvious he loved his son more than anything in the world.

Alex studied the book intently for a few moments, annoyed that was an expression he could never replicate in a sculpture if he'd never actually seen it.

"Now I will do your wings, and give mine a chance to set properly. Come!"

It was slow going. The old man's hands fumbled with the straps. He had a hard time keeping the wings in position while he sealed them. His own metal wings seemed to weigh him down, getting in his way while he tried to work.

"I'm guessing this was a prototype experiment, maybe needs a few test runs before it's marketable," Jason muttered uneasily.

"I don't think his, um, investor is giving him much time to test the safety features," Thalia didn't need to remind him. If this wasn't a blatant escape attempt then there was a cake about to jump out of that bronze manhole cover.

"Too slow," the old man muttered. "I am too slow."

"Take your time, Father," the boy said. "The guards aren't due until—"

BOOM!

"That one wasn't me!" Percy said with a shaky attempt at a laugh that fell flat fast. The silence was starting to settle around them as they all expected his dream to end with the nightmarish image of someone's death.

The workshop doors shuddered. Daedalus had barred them from the inside with a wooden brace, but still they shook on their hinges.

"Hurry!" Icarus said.

BOOM! BOOM!

Something heavy was slamming into the doors. The brace held, but a crack appeared in the left door.

Daedalus worked furiously. A drop of hot wax spilled onto Icarus's shoulder. The boy winced but did not cry out.

Will winced horribly with him, wondering how much pain the poor boy had been through all these years to learn how to do that.

When his left wing was sealed into the straps, Daedalus began working on the right.

"We must have more time," Daedalus murmured. "They are too early! We need more time for the seal to hold."

"It'll be fine," Icarus said, as his father finished the right wing. "Help me with the manhole—"

CRASH! The doors splintered and the head of a bronze battering ram emerged through the breach. Axes cleared the debris, and two armed guards entered the room, followed by the king with the golden crown and the spearshaped beard.

"Well, well," the king said with a cruel smile. "Going somewhere?"

"I'm panicking right now and don't have a witty comeback for that," Percy admitted. He wanted to be in that cell, to hold off this horrible king and those guards while they escaped.

"Brave soul to admit that," Alex told him, just as impressed as if he had spouted some one-liner.

Daedalus and his son froze, their metal wings glimmering on their backs.

"I really hope he made a prayer to Zeus," Magnus muttered uneasily. "He sounds like he's really going to need all the help he can get." He found himself signing it, like he wished he hadn't had to say it out loud and jinx it. He missed Hearth.

He wasn't entirely sure why they were hearing about this either. He would have thought Percy would be dreaming of how Daedalus had created the maze and all its horrors. Why was the mans death so worthy of this nightmare?

"We're leaving, Minos," the old man said.

King Minos chuckled. "I was curious to see how far you'd get on this little project before I dashed your hopes. I must say I'm impressed." The king admired their wings. "You look like metal chickens," he decided. "Perhaps we should pluck you and make a soup."

"Maybe he'd like a pair of his own?" Nico said with a nasty smile. "Chicken's cannibalize each other. Daedalus would probably be more than happy to make a parting pair so he could join."

"Two sentences I'm sure have no relation to each other," Percy said with a strange look at him as usual when this king was brought up. The flash of outrage that always passed over Nico felt really personal and always amped Percy's headache up to eleven.

The guards laughed stupidly.

"Metal chickens," one repeated. "Soup."

"Shut up," the king said. Then he turned again to Daedalus. "You let my daughter escape, old man. You drove my wife to madness. You killed my monster and made me the laughingstock of the Mediterranean. You will never escape me!"

"All crimes I'm so sure this ass hole had no part of the fault in whatsoever," Jason scowled.

"That bad luck stuff really does come in threes," Percy chuckled. "Maybe he'll get lucky and a drought will come along so he can blame all his problems on the weather next."

Icarus grabbed the wax gun and sprayed it at the king, who stepped back in surprise. The guards rushed forward, but each got a stream of hot wax in his face.

Alex made a humming noise of pleasure and Magnus swallowed uneasily at the vivid mental image of him doing that to someone who next annoyed him.

"The vent!" Icarus yelled to his father.

"Get them!" King Minos raged.

Together, the old man and his son pried open the manhole cover, and a column of hot air blasted out of the ground. The king watched, incredulous, as the inventor and son shot into the sky on their bronze wings, carried by the updraft.

"Shoot them!" the king yelled, but his guards had brought no bows. One threw his sword in desperation,

"With hot wax in his face?" Thalia sounded incredulously impressed. "I hope that man got a promotion for dedication."

"Or more likely was beheaded first," Nico grumbled.

but Daedalus and Icarus were already out of reach. They wheeled above the maze and the king's palace, then zoomed across the city of Knossos and out past the rocky shores of Crete.

Icarus laughed. "Free, Father! You did it."

The boy spread his wings to their full limit and soared away on the wind.

"Wait!" Daedalus called. "Be careful!"

But Icarus was already out over the open sea, heading north and delighting in their good luck. He soared up and scared an eagle out of its flight path, then plummeted toward the sea like he was born to fly, pulling out of a nosedive at the last second. His sandals skimmed the waves.

Thalia looked a tad green around the edges of that being described in such vivid detail. Jason looked downright envious, it sounded magical and something he had a funny feeling he'd dreamed about doing in another life he might actually remember.

"Stop that!" Daedalus called. But the wind carried his voice away. His son was drunk on his own freedom.

Will was wincing over every other word though. This story was probably still so popular as a cautionary tale to listen to your parents, look both ways before crossing the streets no matter how sure you were. Will heard it as the boy having to much faith in his father's abilities. Either way you looked at it, this boy had not deserved such a miserable life only to die like that.

The old man struggled to catch up, gliding clumsily after his son.

They were miles from Crete, over deep sea, when Icarus looked back and saw his father's worried expression.

Icarus smiled. "Don't worry, Father! You're a genius! I trust your handiwork—"

The first metal feather shook loose from his wings and fluttered away.

There wasn't much shock, or a bunch of falsities this story was going to end happily ever after. Magnus read somberly, there was a sense of gentleness in the way he read that indicated this wasn't the first tragic story he'd heard and knew the right way to control his voice.

Then another.

Icarus wabbled in midair. Suddenly he was shedding bronze feathers, which twirled away from him like a flock of frightened birds.

"I feel the need to give a hats off one more time to whoever it is describing that, glorious, mental image," Alex said in a very restrained voice holding back awe, and laughter. He felt a little bad, this was a real kid that had really died, but also that was just to vivid an image to be expressed in only words. His hands ached for some clay to somehow memorialize that, as he was sure some Greek had once done.

"Icarus!" his father cried. "Glide! Extend the wings. Stay as still as possible!"

But Icarus flapped his arms, desperately trying to reassert control.

The left wing went first—ripping away from the straps.

"Father!" Icarus cried. And then he fell, the wings stripped away until he was just a boy in a climbing harness and a white tunic, his arms extended in a useless attempt to glide.

I woke with a start, feeling like I was falling.

Percy fought off the urge to startle in his seat now as he rubbed at his thudding heart, that bronze battering ram might as well have been pounding against his ribs. Maybe he'd been wrong before. He should be more grateful about the nightmares where his pants try to eat him.

The corridor was dark. In the constant moaning of the Labyrinth, I thought I could hear the anguished cry of Daedalus calling his son's name, as Icarus, his only joy, plummeted toward the sea, three hundred feet below.

Nico sighed as he studied his boots and imagined the rest of that kids passing. He was probably still in the Fields of Asphodel for all eternity, having lived an unremarkable life, but moments like this made him wish there was another option.

He'd been no hero, so there was no way he'd get into Elysium, but he'd also never been given a chance. He'd just had a miserable life, and it shouldn't just be the hero's who deserved to try for better.

There was no morning in the maze, but once everyone woke up and had a fabulous breakfast of granola bars and juice boxes,

"You guys are way to young to be eating old people food for breakfast," Alex sighed. "Where's the soda and cake because nobody can't tell you not to? Where's the vodka?"

"Alex's potential alcoholic sugar rush aside," Will said with his eyes closed like the idea physically pained him, "I for one am glad to see Annabeth is a smart packer!"

we kept traveling. I didn't mention my dream. Something about it had really freaked me out, and I didn't think the others needed to know that.

"Not seeing how it would have helped much," Jason agreed warily, "but I still think you should have. It might not have shined a light on your path problem, or anything, but it's still better to get off your chest, and maybe Annabeth would have opened up too."

"And you share every thought that comes to your mind huh?" Percy asked glumly. "Between the terrified peeps Grover kept making for every step we took and Annabeth muttering to herself about which way to go, I didn't want to break the awesome symphony they had going."

Jason wasn't going to keep arguing the point, he just wished Percy understood Annabeth might have liked for her troops to know they could confide any little thing in her.

The old stone tunnels changed to dirt with cedar beams, like a gold mine or something. Annabeth started getting agitated.

"This isn't right," she said. "It should still be stone."

"Why?" Magnus asked in ever growing concern why she still thought any of this should make sense.

"Dirt is the oldest thing on the planet, isn't that an even better path to lead to the oldest workshop?" Alex agreed.

Nobody was so much ignoring their questions, they just didn't have a good answer.

We came to a cave where stalactites hung low from the ceiling. In the center of the dirt floor was a rectangular pit, like a grave.

"Frankly I'm surprised you haven't come across more people deciding to just start digging their own graves," Will admitted with itchy skin. He probably would have if he'd been stuck in that Labyrinth.

Grover shivered. "It smells like the Underworld in here."

"I never really thought cemeteries would smell like pleasant mangroves, but thanks for the confirmation," Percy muttered.

Then I saw something glinting at the edge of the pit—a foil wrapper. I shined my flashlight into the hole and saw a half-chewed cheeseburger floating in brown carbonated muck.

"Nico, we have got to work on your signature exit strategy," Alex told him. "You get points for originality, but that must take way to long to orchestrate, and the waste!"

"I like to think of it more as a really fancy calling card," Nico grinned. "I've been here and you should all know and fear me."

"Hey," Alex grinned and even gave him a finger gun. "Good one!"

"Nico," I said. "He was summoning the dead again."

Tyson whimpered. "Ghosts were here. I don't like ghosts."

"We've got to find him." I don't know why, but standing at the edge of that pit gave me a sense of urgency. Nico was close, I could feel it.

Nico looked around at him in mild concern. "If you start tracking me like a bloodhound you will regret it."

"I was hoping you had some fries left over," Percy admitted with a sheepish grin. He was just to relieved the kid was okay rather than the surge of urgency he'd had in that place.

I couldn't let him wander around down here, alone except for the dead. I started to run.

Nico seemed genuinely touched. He even gave Percy a brief smile, the friendliest expression Percy had ever seen on him. Percy immediately smiled back, really hoping all this awkward crush business had just blown over finally.

"Percy!" Annabeth called.

I ducked into a tunnel and saw light up ahead. By the time Annabeth, Tyson, and Grover caught up with me, I was staring at daylight streaming through a set of bars above my head. We were under a steel grate made out of metal pipes. I could see trees and blue sky.

"Are you in another prison underground?" Magnus asked in trepidation. "Is the whole labyrinth just going to lead you to every prison on the planet?"

"I, really hope not," Percy said with a blank stare.

Thalia made an awkward noise as she tried not to agree. It was certainly an imprisonment for those poor animals.

"Where are we?" I wondered.

Then a shadow fell across the grate and a cow stared down at me. It looked like a normal cow except with was a weird color—bright red, like a cherry. I didn't know cows came in that color.

"Where did you think strawberry milk came from Percy?" Jason said with way to much confidence, it actually threw Percy off for a moment before they both chuckled.

"Um, they kind of can," Alex agreed, "but not bright red. More of a deep red color."

"No, I mean like, Rachel's hair red, I am not kidding," Percy promised.

"So our options on the dude ranch are cute cow shows where they die their cattle rainbow colors, or fiery cows that are going to kill you," Magnus sighed.

Will fought hard to stifle a laugh he was pretty close on that second one.

"Maybe Bessie's parents are there," Alex chuckled.

The cow mooed, put one hoof tentatively on the bars, then backed away.

"It's a cattle guard," Grover said.

"A what?" I asked.

"They put them at the gates of ranches so cows can't get out. They can't walk on them."

"How do you know that?"

Grover huffed indignantly. "Believe me, if you had hooves, you'd know about cattle guards. They're annoying!"

"Poor Grover," Magnus agreed. "I wonder if he can walk over any grate, like those giant ones you see in store parking lots."

"I get the feeling Grover doesn't frequent grocery stores very much for that to be a problem," Thalia reminded.

I turned to Annabeth. "Didn't Hera say something about a ranch? We need to check it out. Nico might be there."

"She also said to keep going past the ranch," Nico supplied with perfect clarity and a very confused raised eyebrow. "You're really ignoring the one good bit of advice she gave you?"

"Like I'm going to take some goddess's advice that stressed out Annabeth so much," Percy scoffed, "we still need to have a talk!"

"Right," Nico agreed with another surprised smile.

She hesitated. "All right. But how do we get out?"

Tyson solved that problem by hitting the cattle guard with both hands. It popped off and went flying out of sight. We heard a CLANG! and a startled Moo! Tyson blushed.

"Sorry, cow!" he called.

There was just friendly laughter going around the room for a moment, along with Alex and Magnus sharing some odd signs about finishing an animal book of noises nobody else followed.

Then he gave us a boost out of the tunnel.

We were on a ranch, all right. Rolling hills stretched to the horizon, dotted with oak trees and cactuses and boulders. A barbed wire fence ran from the gate in either direction. Cherry-colored cows roamed around, grazing on clumps of grass.

"Red cattle," Annabeth said. "The cattle of the sun."

"I was joking about them being able to breathe fire too!" Magnus groaned.

"No, no, you were right on the money with that one," Will chuckled.

"What?" I asked.

"They're sacred to Apollo."

"Holy cows?"

"Are the Greeks responsible for every old saying?" Magnus laughed in surprise. "Like if I say the phrase till the cows come home, are you going to tell me it's based on a myth?"

"Um," Thalia gave him an awkward smile rather than admit, yeah, probably.

"Exactly. But what are they doing—"

"Wait," Grover said. "Listen."

At first everything seemed quiet...but then I heard it: the distant baying of dogs.

Alex did a weirdly good reenactment of that like they needed a live performance.

Jason laughed hard in surprise, for some reason he just knew he had a misplaced fondness for hunting dogs Mrs. O'Leary hadn't quite struck in him.

The sound got louder. Then the underbrush rustled, and two dogs broke through. Except it wasn't two dogs. It was one dog with two heads. It looked like a greyhound, long and snaky and sleek brown, but its neck V'd into two heads, both of them snapping and snarling and generally not very glad to see us.

"Cool," Jason grinned wider than ever.

"Not in the slightest," Magnus muttered, fighting off the impulse to make the warding off evil gesture at the idea of this thing anywhere near him.

"Bad Janus dog!" Tyson cried.

Magnus had no choice but to laugh too though.

"Do you think one head sniffs out truth and the other lies?" Thalia tagged in.

Jason gave her a startled look, something of the description of this dog and that tied in well-

but Magnus kept reading quickly, his dislike of canines wasn't subtle, and he obviously didn't want to linger on this.

"Arf!" Grover told it, and raised a hand in greeting.

The two-headed dog bared its teeth. I guess it wasn't impressed that Grover could speak animal.

"It's like speaking to a New Yorker," Will offered. "Just because you learn the lingo doesn't mean you're welcome."

"Fair enough," Percy said with a bright-eyed thanks, nobody had ever explained it like that before.

Then its master lumbered out of the woods, and I realized the dog was the least of our problems.

He was a huge guy with stark white hair, a straw cowboy hat, and a braided white beard— kind of like Father Time, if Father Time went redneck and got totally jacked. He was wearing jeans, a DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS T-shirt, and a denim jacket with the sleeves ripped off so you could see his muscles. On his right bicep was a crossed-swords tattoo. He held a wooden club about the size of a nuclear warhead, with six-inch spikes bristling at the business end.

"That is a very manly dude on this demon animal ranch," Magnus groaned, fighting off the urge to chuck the book away from him at the chapter title once again being way to accurate.

"I bet he makes good barbeque though," Alex said like he was still willing to give the place a chance if someone let him pet the animals.

"Heel, Orthus," he told the dog.

"He named his dog twilight?" Alex asked with a very concerning, twitching smile. "Well, given the pet, I'm sure I can guess which team he was on."

"We all have our secret hobbies," Magnus said with an eye roll, he really hoped that wasn't one Alex secretly liked.

The dog growled at us once more, just to make his feelings clear, then circled back to his master's feet.

"Um, good dog?" Will said meekly. "It's always nice to express your feelings."

"Maybe not the kind that make you want to cover your throat," Nico frowned, he'd been on the receiving end of those fangs getting a little to close.

The man looked us up and down, keeping his club ready.

"What've we got here?" he asked. "Cattle rustlers?"

"Just travelers," Annabeth said. "We're on a quest."

The man's eye twitched. "Half-bloods, eh?"

I started to say, "How did you know—"

"Well you don't look like cow rustlers," Thalia snorted.

Annabeth put her hand on my arm. "I'm Annabeth, daughter of Athena. This is Percy, son of Poseidon.

"Why the actual fridge fart did she introduce you with your parents?" Jason demanded. "That tends to cause more problems!"

Percy was to busy repeating a particular part of Jason's question to himself to answer while Thalia shrugged nonchalantly. "Dog might have sniffed it out, most monsters know anyways, no point in lying."

Grover the satyr. Tyson the—"

"Cyclops," the man finished. "Yes, I can see that." He glowered at me. "And I know half-bloods because I am one, sonny. I'm Eurytion, the cowherd for this here ranch. Son of Ares.

"I'm curious if that whole, forever grudging hate thing Ares has against you for beating him is passed on through some kind of psychic link to all his kids, not just the ones at Camp," Alex asked, miming a head explosion to emphasize his point.

"You just want to hear about someone meeting me and beating the tar out of me," Percy frowned in accusation.

"Trying to beat the tar out of you," Alex corrected. "You're not wrong, but that's not entirely why I want to know," Alex agreed.

"Well I couldn't guess," Percy said in exasperation.

You came through the Labyrinth like the other one, I reckon."

"The other one?" I asked. "You mean Nico di Angelo?"

"We get a load of visitors from the Labyrinth," Eurytion said darkly. "Not many ever leave."

Will sat up straight in his seat, no more jokes or tiffs about silly things like being afraid of a two-headed dog as he looked seriously from Nico to the book and back. Nico had last said he'd gotten caught, but no more. He really hadn't been that worried about it since he was right here, but now his Apollo-healer tingle started humming if they had actually hurt him while holding him there for however long until he got out.

"Wow," I said. "I feel welcome."

"They should put a mat out instead of some old cattle guard," Alex agreed.

The cowherd glanced bend him like someone was watching. Then he lowered his voice. "I'm only going to say this once, demigods. Get back in the maze now. Before it's too late."

The short, sharp breath that escaped Nico wasn't his first in this room. He'd almost come to expect it in regards to Percy, the boy he'd actually known nothing about really.

This moment caught him off guard anew. That Percy could have run and come back when the quest was over. That he'd followed his impulsiveness to come find him but still had the chance to turn around.

"We're not leaving," Annabeth insisted. "Not until we see this other demigod. Please."

And they didn't. Neither Percy or Annabeth. With everything else weighing heavier on the line, they actually picked him at that moment.

Eurytion grunted. "Then you leave me no choice, missy. I've got to take you to the boss."

"If this guy's just the grunt, how big is the boss going to be?" Magnus frowned.

"You really want to know that?" Alex asked in surprise.

"No," he sighed, "but we're going to find out anyways."

"Well then you can either cover up your ears and ignore it all or make up a lie for yourself in the meantime," Alex scoffed.

I didn't feel like we were hostages or anything.

"And the amount of exposure you've had to that feeling makes me confident in your verification of that," Jason sighed.

"I always wanted an adventurous life," Percy shrugged.

Eurytion walked alongside us with his club across his shoulder. Orthus the two-headed dog growled a lot and sniffed at Grover's legs and shot into the bushes once in a while to chase animals, but Eurytion kept him more or less under control.

We walked down a dirt path that seemed to go on forever. It must've been close to a hundred degrees, which was a shock after San Francisco. Heat shimmered off the ground. Insects buzzed in the trees. Before we'd gone very far, I was sweating like crazy. Flies swarmed us. Every so often we'd see a pen full of red cows or even stranger animals. Once we passed a corral where the fence was coated in asbestos. Inside, a herd of fire-breathing horses milled around. The hay in their feeding trough was on fire. The ground smoked around their feet, but the horses seemed tame enough. One big stallion looked at me and whinnied, columns of red flame billowing out his nostrils. I wondered if it hurt his sinuses.

"I'm sensing a theme," Alex said with interest.

"If Orthus isn't immune to flames then I don't know how they get the herding done around there," Magnus said curiously, "unless they have a separate fire breathing dog just for that and Orthus is security."

"I just want to know what happens when you milk them," Jason chuckled. "Is that were the lava at camp comes from?"

Percy laughed along with them like he didn't have a care in the world.

"What are they for?" I asked.

Eurytion scowled. "We raise animals for lots of clients. Apollo, Diomedes, and...others."

"Like who?"

"No more questions."

"Are we really surprised?" Thalia scoffed. "If he was going to tell you his entire clientele he'd already be bragging about it."

"He didn't really answer my question," Percy insisted, "you know I'd never let something like that go."

Finally we came out of the woods. Perched on a hill above us was a big ranch house—all white stone and wood and big windows.

"It looks like a Frank Lloyd Wright!" Annabeth said.

"The building looks like a person?" Will squinted suspiciously.

"No, I think the guy is famous for organic architecture or something," Jason grinned. "I'm sure I've come across his name, though I have no clue why."

"The house is, edible?" Percy frowned. "It didn't look made out of candy and gingerbread."

"No, they're like, open, modern, utilize the best space," Jason said, his brow creasing with concentration as he tried to remember why he'd read about this. "Um, I think prairie dogs came up at one point?"

"We seriously need a book on what you've been up to," Thalia said, her selfish reasons aside in this case.

"Well, at least we're sticking with a farm theme," Will nodded like that was all the relief he needed.

I guess she was talking about some architectural thing. To me it just looked like the kind of place where a few demigods could get into serious trouble.

"Percy, that's every building you walk into," Magnus scoffed.

"I could put you in a rubber room and you'd find a way to make it explode," Alex agreed with pride.

No wonder he did so well on this very combustible farm, Nico kept to himself, and Percy didn't even explode anything. He was just in his natural element even out of the water.

We hiked up the hill.

"Don't break the rules," Eurytion warned as we walked up the steps to the front porch.

"He hasn't told us the rules yet!" Will protested like he expected the monsters to play fair.

"I guess he never got numb to the pretty scenery and was distracted," Alex rolled his eyes.

"No fighting. No drawing weapons. And don't make any comments about the boss's appearance."

"Oh," Thalia said in great exhaustion. "Percy's screwed."

Percy didn't bother to deny it, he was already tapping his pen against each knuckle with growing unease. Eurytion hadn't bothered him much, but something of this house was setting his instincts ablaze, and he had a feeling it didn't have anything to do with organic housing.

"Why?" I asked. "What does he look like?"

Before Eurytion could reply, a new voice said, "Welcome to the Triple G Ranch."

"Unless the triple stands for gay I don't think this is going to be any fun," Alex pouted.

"And here I was starting to delude myself the G stood for great," Magnus sighed. "Triple Great Ranch, where nobody almost dies!"

"Focusing on the wrong part of that," Thalia muttered low enough Percy couldn't hear.

The man on the porch had a normal head, which was a relief.

Percy wasn't phased by the smattering of snickers that covered the room. They were lucky they'd only had to hear the weirdness described.

His face was weathered and brown from years in the sun. He had a slick black hair and a black pencil moustache like villains have in old movies.

"What's with the evil mustaches in this book?" Will asked nervously, still watching Nico anxiously. He didn't seem particularly traumatized by this guy showing up again, but was back to fiddling with his ring uneasily. "Why can't someone be described with a friendly mustache like Santa?"

"Because nobody wants Nerus to come back," Percy rolled his eyes.

He smiled at us, but the smile wasn't friendly; more amused, like Oh boy, more people to torture!

"I dislike that you know that smile," Magnus groaned.

"It's the only way I've ever seen Mr. D smile," Percy shrugged.

I didn't ponder that very long, though, because then I noticed his body...or bodies. He had three of them. Now you'd think I would've gotten used to weird anatomy after Janus and Briares, but this guy was three complete people. His neck connected to the middle chest like normal, but he had two more chests, one to either side, connected at the shoulders, with a few inches between. His left arm grew out of his left chest, and the same on the right, so he had two arms, but four armpits, if that makes any sense. The chests all connected into one enormous torso, with two regular but very beefy legs, and he wore the most oversized pair of Levis I'd ever seen. His chests each wore a different color Western shirt—green, yellow, red, like a stoplight. I wondered how he dressed the middle chest, since it had no arms.

"People of different backgrounds don't always like their routines on display Percy," Jason rolled his eyes at him.

"That cannot be comfortable getting through your average doorway," Magnus frowned at this bizarre theme of mismatching body parts Percy had been coming across. "Guess that open floor plan was on purpose."

The cowherd Eurytion nudged me. "Say Hello to Mr. Geryon."

"Oh, triple Geryon, I get it," Alex grinned. Magnus just sighed in defeat and said, "yeah, that tracks."

"I'm done," Thalia raised her hands in exasperation at these boys!

"Hi," I said. "Nice chests—uh, ranch! Nice ranch you have."

"Percy, breaking the rules in one sentence," Will chuckled. "You really are a wonder of your own."

"Thank you," Percy grinned.

Before the three-bodied man could respond, Nico di Angelo came out of the glass doors onto the porch.

Will sighed in relief, he'd already been imagining him trussed up in the basement with fire-breathing feral cats or something.

"Bathroom break," Alex nodded in understanding. "Everybody needs that during a monster chase."

"I got caught by Eurytion who told me I needed to come with him," Nico told them in exasperation. Eurytion had actually offered to just keep on driving, but, well, he'd happily let himself be taken hostage too just like Percy for his own reasons. Huh, he'd never expected to be like Percy in this random way. "I agreed because I'd heard of him and needed to speak about, negotiations," he finished lamely. Nobody pressed him for details, they'd gotten mildly better at suppressing that not to hassle Percy to much, but he could feel their simmering curiosity like milk ready to boil over.

"Geryon, I won't wait for—"

He froze when he saw us. Then he drew his sword.

"See, Nico's breaking the rules too," Percy said with an accusing finger at him like that was the important part of somebody drawing a sword on you.

"It's not a competition Percy," Will sighed, "and Annabeth already started it and won regardless before the quest kicked off."

The blade was just like I'd seen in my dream; short, sharp, and dark as midnight.

Alex gave a very loud, longing sigh and flopped against the side of his couch as he gave Nico a hurt look.

"I don't see why you want to know how I got it so bad," Nico smiled at his theatrics. "You've never tried to find out how Annabeth or Grover got their reed pipes and knife."

"Oh, I will when I meet them," Alex promised. "I'm waiting to ambush Thalia about her shield when I can get a chance that doesn't involve her using it on me."

"If you jump out at me and scream boo, you will get a face full of Aegis," Thalia promised.

"See, bidding my time," Alex said with a very calculating look at Nico, who just chuckled.

Geryon snarled when he saw it. "Put that away, Mr. di Angelo. I ain't gonna have my guests killin' each other."

"But that's—"

"Percy Jackson," Geryon supplied. "Annabeth Chase. And a couple of their monster friends. Yes, I know."

"Monster friends?" Grover said indignantly.

Magnus twiddled his fingers uncomfortably as he wondered how Grover was supposed to be classified.

"That man is wearing three shirts," Tyson said, like he was just realizing this.

"I'd love to meet Tyson just to see what he says about me," Jason chuckled.

"That man is to smart to be this dumb," Percy helpfully supplied.

"I would have told you what he first thought about you, but now you can forget it," Jason huffed.

"No, wait-" Percy began to splutter, but Thalia gave them both sharp smacks to their knees to pay attention.

"They let my sister die!" Nico's voice trembled with rage. "They're here to kill me!"

"One of these things is not like the other," Percy said with a nervous chuckle.

"As opposed to a normal person, who would deny both claims," Alex said, framing his hands around Percy's face as if to capture such ineptitude.

Both Thalia and Percy winced hard, the guilt they felt in Bianca's sacrifice still very raw to be discussed.

"Sorry," Nico whispered again. "I know that was harsh, and not what happened now, and-"

"Nico, I don't blame you," Percy promised at once. If anything he still blamed himself plenty, prophecy be dammed. It was his idea Bianca had run off with. "You were just a kid, haven't you been listening? I really did just want to help!"

Nico gave him an understanding nod, but the dull feeling of pain from still being called a kid by him, the flash of nausea that raced through him when he still remembered what had come out of his mouth the last time he'd talked to Percy about this, and the ensuing pressure he still felt inside every time he heard his sister's name wasn't giving him a very eloquent response.

"Nico, we're not here to kill you." I raised my hands. "What happened to Bianca was—"

"Don't speak her name! You're not worthy to even talk about her!"

"What's the level of worthiness?" Alex was the only one who dared keep talking to him right now in anything resembling a light tone. "Just trying to get a scale on that?"

A flash of anger did burn through him, that this wasn't a joke, but he knew Alex didn't mean it like that. He'd never talked about his sister, he didn't know how.

Silence was his answer, but Alex wasn't deterred. He'd just try another way.

"Wait a minute," Annabeth pointed at Geryon. "How do you know our names?"

"I really stopped questioning that when Medusa did," Magnus shook his head.

The three-bodied man winked. "I make it my business to keep informed, darlin'. Everybody pops into the ranch from time to time. Everyone needs something from ole Geryon. Now, Mr. di Angelo, put that ugly sword away before I have Eurytion take it form you."

"It's not ugly!" Will said with a loud, nervous chuckle, his hands fidgeting around making calming gestures at nobody in here. He kept tickling the hair on the back of Nico's neck, and yet he didn't really have the urge to swat him away.

"Don't worry Will, I don't lose it at every insult," Nico sighed. His need had trumped his grudge for Percy, for the moment. He hoped Bianca had been around watching and smiled at that, he was already trying to live up to her wish without even knowing it.

Eurytion sighed, but he hefted his spiked club.

"I'm getting feelings of discontent," Jason said, sharp eyes clearly wondering if they could play these two against each other.

"What a strange child of Ares," Thalia agreed pleasantly.

At his feet, Orthus growled.

Nico hesitated. He looked thinner and paler than he had in the Irismessages. I wondered if he'd eaten in the last week. His black clothes were dusty from traveling in the Labyrinth, and his dark eyes were full of hate. He was too young to look so angry. I still remembered him as the cheerful little kid who played with Mythomagic cards.

Which hadn't changed much from the moment he'd been flung in here. Percy looked sharply away from him, his mind sucker punching him with guilt and memories he still hadn't tied together on how everything surrounding this kid seemed to have gone wrong.

Nico wanted to deny it. He wanted to summon an army of soldiers and dare anyone to call him weak and sad looking. He didn't want their pity!

But Will sighed, his arm across the back of the couch, his posture open, and exhausted. If Will had been talking to him this whole time out of some kind of pity, he couldn't find it. Alex tweaked his nose and gave him a knowing wink. The idea came across. 'I get it, life sucks.'

Reluctantly, he sheathed his sword. "If you come near me, Percy, I'll summon help. You don't want to meet my helpers, I promise."

"I believe you," I said.

"I really want you to hear what just happened Nico," Thalia chuckled. "This ding-dong has ignored gods, Chiron himself, and his mother every day of his life when she tells him to be safe. You, you he listened to without question."

"You mean putting the fear of death into you wouldn't work?" Percy rolled his eyes at her. He'd listened because he didn't want to try talking to Nico in front of these monsters and they needed to not kill each other until then.

Nico winced with guilt Percy had really believed that of him.

Geryon patted Nico's shoulder. "There, we've all made nice. Now come along, folks. I want to give you a tour of the ranch."

"Is there roasted peanuts involved?" Jason perked up at any mention of a tour.

"Athena set the bar to high," Magnus nodded, "I don't know how this guy is going to compete. I bet he won't even mention a snack bar."

Geryon had a trolley thing—like one of those kiddie trains that take you around zoos. It was painted black and white in a cowhide pattern. The driver's car had a set of longhorns stuck to the hood, and the horn sounded like a cowbell. I figured maybe this was how he tortured people. He embarrassed them to death riding around in the moo-mobile.

"You wouldn't believe how scary that thing can look popping up in the labyrinth," Nico scowled.

Magnus spluttered painfully as he tried to subdue a laugh, shaking his hands and gasping, "sorry! I believe you!" His face was turning red, he was probably signing to stay coherent like Nico actually understood that. "Just imaging that ghost getting freaked out by-" he had to stop and catch his breath.

Nico sighed and chuckled good-naturedly. Will even nodded beside him and said, "well I'm glad, I was worried you were dragged there kicking and screaming. This seems, less, um, bad?"

"I knew who Geryon was and wanted to make a deal," Nico nodded, not enlightening the others Minos had mentioned him as a potential ally. "I can't say I, regret, getting in," he sighed all the same his sister had finally shown up because of this mess. They'd saved a bunch of silly farm animals. There were worse outcomes that could have happened.

Nico sat in the very back, probably so he could keep an eye on us.

"The strategic move," Jason nodded.

"Hey," Percy frowned, "neither of us actually want the other dead!"

"If this wasn't a circular room I'd be staked out in the corner from you nutjobs," Jason smirked.

Eurytion crawled in next to him with his spiked club and pulled his cowboy hat over his eyes like he was going to take a nap. Orthus jumped in the front seat next to Geryon and began barking happily in two-part harmony.

Alex chuckled and very much wondered if he could turn into that dog. Oh the fun he could have.

Annabeth, Tyson, Grover, and I took the middle two cars.

"We have a huge operation!" Geryon boasted as the moo-mobile lurched forward. "Horses and cattle mostly, but all sorts of exotic varieties, too."

"Peacocks?" Magnus asked hopefully.

"Monster peacocks, now we're in business!" Alex agreed. "Oh, x-ray eyes! No, no, they look at you and expose the color of your aura!"

"I immediately regret this," Magnus sighed. For one glorious, childish moment the image of getting in one of those things had made him think of riding that with his mom at the zoo.

We came over a hill, and Annabeth gasped. "Hippalektryons?

"She always says these words with such confidence," Percy grinned. "I want to know where she finds the time to figure out how to say it in the first place while reading about the world."

"I bet she secretly has to practice clapping the syllables for weeks," Magnus offered. "Like dilophosaurus," he said from experience.

"A, dolphin dinosaur?" Percy asked, vaguely recognizing the name.

"It's the dinosaur that could spit poison!" Magnus grinned. "Fun fact, its been proved they actually couldn't do that, let alone had a frill!"

"Oh, how lame," Percy said. He'd loved the t-rex the most, and feared to much saying that out loud in case some god got a wise idea to sick one on his life.

I thought they were extinct!"

"I've only ever heard of them as actual made up animals too," Thalia grinned in surprise. "Like the lock-ness monster back then, used to scare kids into behaving."

"That's adorable," Jason chuckled. Thalia smiled, he probably wouldn't think it was so entertaining if he knew the real monsters that had haunted them as kids.

At the bottom of the hill was a fenced-in pasture with a dozen of the weirdest animals I'd ever seen.

"You have clearly not been at the bottom of the ocean long enough to see a fangtooth fish. They live with dead eyes and you cannot convince me otherwise. Your dads kingdom makes ancient greek monsters look normal," Alex confessed.

Percy's brain flipflopped back and forth between the idea of a fish being scary and Alex knowing a fish he didn't before deciding on moving on.

Each had the front half of a horse and the back half of a rooster. Their rear feet were huge yellow claws. They had feathery tails and red wings. As I watched, two of them got in a fight over a pile of seed. They reared up on their wings at each other until the smaller one galloped away, its rear bird legs putting a little hop in its step.

"That's adorable," Magnus couldn't help but agree with Will's little coo of excitement.

"I wonder if they're strong enough for Tyson to finally get that ride he wants," Percy nodded they weren't the craziest thing.

"Rooster ponies," Tyson said in amazement. "Do they lay eggs?"

"Once a year!" Geryon grinned in the rearview mirror. "Very much in demand for omelettes!"

"That's horrible!" Annabeth said. "They must be an endangered species!"

Geryon waved his hand. "Gold is gold, darling. And you haven't tasted the omelettes."

"Oooh, yeah, I hate him," Alex said in way to calm a voice for someone who was clearly now planning at least one major crime.

Will nibbled on his lip as he tried to offer, "there's clearly some kind of good balance? Ah, he's helping an endangered species stay alive enough to breed at least, that's more than they're getting being extinct? Baby steps?"

"No Will," Alex said in that continued eerie voice. "You don't get to optimistic your way out of this one."

"Right, yeah, I'll get the lighter fluid," Will agreed, and not just because those would be awesome to have around camp.

"That's not right," Grover murmured, but Geryon just kept narrating the tour.

"Now, over here," he said, "we have our fire-breathing horses, which you may have seen on your way in. They're bred for war, naturally."

"What war?" I asked.

"Any war," Jason gave him a strange look. "Sell those to some mortals and they'll just think they have a weirdly awesome murder horse that doesn't get hurt by flamethrowers." He had a funny feeling about this place. He was sure he'd never directly been, but something of this caused an annoying tick in his brain all the same.

"How about we not sit around discussing warfare," Thalia sighed. Considering camp was on the brink of one, it wasn't anyone's favorite subject right now.

Geryon grinned slyly. "Oh, whichever one comes along. And over yonder, of course, are our prize red cows."

Sure enough, hundreds of the cherry-colored cattle were grazing the side of the hill.

"So many," Grover said.

"Yes, well, Apollo is too busy to see them," Geryon explained, "so he subcontracts to us. We breed them vigorously because there's such a demand."

"For what?" I asked.

Geryon raised an eyebrow. "Meat, of course! Armies have to eat."

"Ugh, okay, that's disgusting," Will shivered. That was like eating a piece of his dads car tire. How could someone stomach even the thought of wanting to do that?

"So it's not okay when it's related to your dad?" Alex challenged.

"They're not related to me, that's not what sacred means," Will sighed. "I'm of the opinion you can't stop the world from being evil so you should try to make peace," he defended himself. "I'm also of the opinion this place is lucky it isn't raining plague arrows right now and my dad would not be happy about this so we should absolutely intervene before the whole place is set on fire and all the cute animals suffer. More."

"A compromise I won't ignore," Alex nodded.

"You kill the sacred cows of the sun god for hamburger meat?" Grover said. "That's against ancient laws!"

"And clearly nothing bad has happened to him," Percy muttered, his mind still on Chiron's dire warning about how many people were on this quest.

Jason still looked a little grumpy nobody had dumped an ancient library on his head so he could be studying all of this in depth like a psychopath.

"Oh, don't get so worked up, satyr. They're just animals."

"Anybody who ever says that deserves to be fed to animals," Thalia shook her head in disgust. "You know who never says that! Farmers who actually care and understand the balance and the welfare of what an animal needs in life!"

"How many black market animal traders have you guys shish kabobed?" Alex asked eagerly.

"Quite a few," Thalia said proudly, popping the collar of her silver jacket. "Stories I will proudly share."

Alex actually began rubbing his hands in excitement.

"Just animals!"

"Yes, and if Apollo cared, I'm sure he would tell us."

"If he knew," I muttered.

"The fact that he doesn't know is kind of getting to me right now," Nico admitted.

"Welcome to my world," Jason agreed. He'd lost track of what the gods did and didn't know and he was about to start making a list just to satisfy his peace of mind.

Nico sat forward. "I don't care about any of this, Geryon. We had business to discuss, and this wasn't it!"

"You are now the definition of someone who needs to stop and smell the roses," Magnus told him sympathetically. He'd been living a hard life and needed some fun, like a cute animal ride through a nice farm. Just not this one.

"Hard pass," Nico turned his nose up just because of his stepmother though.

"All in good time, Mr. di Angelo. Look over here; some of my exotic game."

"You were half right last time on the birds," Alex grinned at Magnus. "Going to take another shot?"

"I couldn't guess what was in there in a million years," he reminded.

The next field was ringed in barbed wire. The whole area was crawling with giant scorpions.

Causing the others to burst out laughing hard while Magnus threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Triple G Ranch," I said, suddenly remembering. "Your mark was on the crates at camp. Quintus got his scorpions from you."

"Quintus..." Geryon mused. "Short gray hair, muscular, swordsman?"

"Yeah."

"Never heard of him," Geryon said.

"Uhhu," Jason frowned, "and I'm a child of Neptune."

"We look nothing alike," Percy looked around in confusion. "Thalia could pass that off better."

"Yeah, because that's the weird part of what I said," Jason snorted.

"Could you two stay on one topic for five seconds," Thalia sighed.

"Well it's not like we know any more about Geryon or Quintus from this," Jason sighed. "So he bought some scorpions from a questionable ranch. The guy obviously gets around and wanted to impress the camp with a cool monster, and this is the kind of guy, um, monster who would sell his grandma for a penny. I'm not sold on anything."

"I'm now concerned this is where he got Mrs. O'Leary from though," Alex frowned. "Does he have a puppy mill somewhere in the back I am not going to like?"

"Let's just wait and see how this plays out," Thalia said. She honestly didn't know, though Annabeth had promised this place was being run by Eurytion and it was much better now so she hadn't gone to visit herself when she heard these atrocities. She didn't want Percy thinking to much ahead and remembering that though, let alone any other details, so was more than happy to keep them moving along.

"Now, over here are my prize stables! You must see them."

I didn't need to see them, because as soon as we got within three hundred yards I started to smell them. Near the banks of a green river was a horse corral the size of a football field.

Thalia smacked Percy with a very annoyed eye roll. "That field gets bigger every time this story gets told by the way. Last time I was around Camp, it was the size of Olympus."

Percy rubbed his arm with a confused smile. Hopefully all his friends hadn't died a very manly death on the dude ranch if it was a popular tale.

 Stables lined one side of it. About a hundred horses were milling around in the muck—and when I say muck, I mean horse poop. It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen, like a poop blizzard had come through and dumped four feet of the stuff overnight. The horses were really gross from wading through it, and the stables were just as bad. It reeked like you would not believe—worse than the garbage boats on the East River.

Jason gagged at just the thought and covered up his nose. Alex, Magnus, and Nico had woken up in the worst of smelling places and still couldn't come close to imagining how the stench of that must have been vomit inducing, eye watering, disgusting beyond all words.

"You haven't been involuntarily shoved into a bathroom in this one yet," Thalia was waving her hand in front of her face like the book was letting out such an odor now. "I hope there's one handy around."

For once Percy couldn't even be annoyed at them for making that joke, if anybody needed a massive toilet it was those poor creatures.

Even Nico gagged. "What is that?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked, clearly hurt. "You think I go around sniffing corpses for fun?"

"You'd had this look on your face the whole time like I was about to start hacking pieces off of you," Percy said, a touch guilty, a little defensive. "Sorry to see you have a normal reaction to something."

He huffed and muttered but didn't protest further.

"My stables!" Geryon said. "Well, actually they belong to Aegas,

"Your shield owns horses?" Percy asked blankly.

"Aegas means cloaked, protection, and is most commonly associated with the word Zeus," Thalia shrugged.

"Oh, good, so it's not just Apollo who's prized animals are being mistreated. Equal opportunity and all that," Percy sighed.

but we watch over them for a small monthly fee. Aren't they lovely?"

"They're disgusting!" Annabeth said.

"Lots of poop," Tyson observed.

"The only takeaway we need from this place, as always, is delivered best by Tyson," Will sighed.

"How can you keep animals like that?" Grover cried.

"Y'all getting' on my nerves," Geryon said.

"Did he expect cheers and applause for these animals swimming in their own feces?" Magnus scowled. Horses he did like, and even if this was a pack of wolves, this was the definition of an inhumane environment.

"I hope he still does when I throw him in the nearest portapotty," Alex scowled.

"These are flesh-eating horses, see? They like these conditions."

"I'm not going to believe this guy," Magnus huffed. "Who knew a monster with three chests was heartless!"

Percy winced and gave him a strange look, but his vision went blurry and his headache didn't allow him a second of thought to wonder why.

"Plus, you're too cheap to have them cleaned," Eurytion mumbled from under his hat.

"Quiet!" Geryon snapped.

"Ooo, trouble in the dude paradise," Jason said with interest.

Percy let out a painful gasp and began rubbing at his forehead at that bouncing around his skull next, and Thalia placed a calming hand on his shoulder and a stern look at Magnus to finish.

"All right, perhaps the stables are a bit challenging to clean. Perhaps they do make me nauseous when the wind blows the wrong way. But so what? My clients still pay me well."

"Anything for that bottom line huh?" Percy asked with enough disgust to have his own manure heap packed in.

"What clients?" I demanded.

"Oh, you'd be surprised how many people will pay for a flesh-eating horse. They make great garbage disposals. Wonderful way to terrify your enemies. Great at birthday parties! We rent them out all the time."

"I find that very hard to believe, nobody would go near enough to this thing to be eaten by it, the way they smelled," Nico scoffed.

"Do monsters have birthday parties?" Magnus asked in surprise.

Alex doubled over laughing while Will grinned faintly in surprise. "I thought he meant mortal torture fests with kids mysteriously vanishing, but um, yeah Magnus, maybe." 

"Monsters call in a celebration with beer and flesh-eating horses every time they come back?" Jason said ambiguously, with a very raised brow.

"I bet the invite list is really short notice," Percy chuckled along.

"I'll make it my mission to get on more," Thalia smirked, she and Percy high-fiving at the level of gatecrashing that would soon be involved if this was a thing.

"You're a monster," Annabeth decided.

Geryon stopped the moo-mobile and turned to look at her. "What gave it away? Was it the three bodies?"

"I try to overlook minor things like that," Percy scowled. "It was his shitty personality!"

"You have to let these animals go," Grover said. "It's not right!"

"And the clients you keep talking about," Annabeth said. "You work for Kronos, don't you? You're supplying his army with horses, food, whatever they need."

Geryon shrugged, which was very weird since he had three sets of shoulders. It looked like he was doing the wave all by himself.

Percy watched as those around him gave grudging laughs for that visual while their stomachs sank at finding an answer to a question they didn't have. Magnus had never sat around and assumed monsters needed to eat to stay alive like 'normal' animals and people, they just existed and chose to. Alex had sort of been assuming the Titan of Time could just make money appear at will for whatever he needed.

To hear that there was some kind of financial backer to all of this made it much more real, a new level to a threat they already had plenty of fear in without all of that.

"I work for anyone with gold, young lady. I'm a businessman. And I sell them anything I have to offer."

He climbed out of the moo-mobile and strolled toward the stables as if enjoying the fresh air. It would've been a nice view, with the river and the trees and hills and all,

Jason raised a disbelieving brow at the mention of a river in sight. Percy had once nearly flooded his own camp with one after a tiff with Thalia, where was that temper drowning Geryon now at all of this? He found himself impressed Percy seemed to grow up a little more every book, find a little more self control in him.

except for the quagmire of horse muck.

Nico got out of the back car and stormed over to Geryon. The cowherd Eurytion wasn't as sleepy as he looked. He hefted his club and walked after Nico.

"He could have at least left the club in the moo-machine," Will muttered, "you hadn't drawn your sword again."

Nico gave him a surprised smile, the sense of feeling his arm on the back of the couch had faded to a comfortable presence he was still getting used to.

"I came here for business, Geryon," Nico said. "And you haven't answered me."

"Mmm." Geryon examined a cactus. His left arm reached over and scratched his middle-chest. "Yes, you'll get a deal, all right."

"You haven't even told us how you were paying for the Happy Meals?" Alex asked. "How were you going to pay this guy for anything?"

"I was working on that," Nico said, doing well to keep the childish note out of his voice to hide he had no clue. He'd been basically making this up as he went along from Minos's outline.

"My ghost told me you could help. He said you could guide us to the soul we need."

"Wait a second," I said. "I thought I was the soul you wanted."

Nico looked at me like I was crazy. "You? Why would I want you? Bianca's soul is worth a thousand of yours!

Percy startled in surprise, and then smiled of all things. "That is the best reason I've ever heard for someone not wanting my soul!"

"You're, welcome," Nico muttered in surprise. He still kept expecting Thalia to launch a thousand questions at him over what he was doing, somebody to scold him and be disgusted he'd been willing to do this at all.

For now, it was just Percy touching his chest and smiling, and that was enough to not feel rejected again.

Now, can you help me, Geryon, or not?"

"Oh, I imagine I could," the rancher said. "Your ghost friend, by the way, where is he?"

Nico looked uneasy. "He can't form in broad daylight. It's hard for him. But he's around somewhere."

Geryon smiled. "I'm sure. Minos

"Minos?" Five people yelped so loud it seemed to echo to the walls and back again several times. The only person who hadn't was Thalia, and she looked plenty displeased anyways.

"The evil eyed, pointy beard king who locks people up is your tour guide!" Alex's hands were clearly itching for his garotte. "He needs to be killed properly, stat! Then we'll find the dumbass who didn't kill him properly the first time and do them next!"

Percy had Riptide drawn, the cap of his pen dancing innocently on the floor between his shoes as he sat in place but still looked ready to stab something. "I can't believe you ran away from camp to take advice from-"

There was all that anger Nico had long since been expecting, and his hackles instantly raised. "I didn't ask your opinion on this, or need it thrown in my face! Can you not shut it and just get through this!"

Percy opened his mouth in outrage, he was upset Nico was being manipulated! But the tension of the water was already building around them, and only a gentle clearing of Thalia's throat needed to be heard for now to remind him to clench his jaw shut. This had already happened, and if Nico didn't want to hear his opinion on something, then he should probably accept that lest the kid blurt out any more life confessions as he slowly bent to put the cap of his pen back over his sword.

likes to disappear when things get...difficult."

"Minos?" I remembered the man I'd seen in my dreams, with the golden crown, the pointed beard, and the cruel eyes. "You mean that evil king? That's the ghost who's been giving you advice?"

"It's none of your business, Percy!" Nico turned back to Geryon. "And what do you mean about things getting difficult?"

The three-bodied man sighed. "Well, you see, Nico—can I call you Nico?"

"No."

"You see, Nico,

"He needs to die. Like a lot," Alex scowled. He took nothing more personally than assholes who misgendered, misnamed, or bragged about being a douche.

"In more ways than you know," Nico said with a very satisfied smile for Alex, though neither of them spoke to loudly in case Percy took a hint as he scowled and still held his pen in hand like Minos was still creeping around in here.

Luke Castellan is offering very good money for halfbloods. Especially powerful half-bloods. And I'm sure when he learns your little secret, who you really are, he'll pay very, very well indeed."

Will made such a deep throated noise it actually sounded like a growl. Kids shouldn't be sold around like cattle! And Nico was more than just a powerful bargaining chip!

Nico was already feeling bad for his outburst at Percy, and realizing Will was actually upset on his behalf too made him feel even worse. "Sorry, Percy," he offered, not expecting Percy to accept it. "I, um-"

"It's cool," Percy shrugged with not a chip in sight. "I'm glad you like me better than the creep who would actually sell your soul."

"It's a thin margin," he grinned faintly in surprise while Percy immediately smiled back.

Nico drew his sword, but Eurytion knocked it out of his hand. Before I could get up, Orthus pounced on my chest and growled, his faces an inch away from mine.

Thalia's bow appeared in hand on instinct, no one in doubt she would have shot both of those heads without hesitation, and everyone in the room was starting to feel a little short of breath at all three of these guys finding themselves on edge. Their very presence overlapping each other made the molecules feel more volatile all of a sudden.

"I would stay in the car, all of you," Geryon warned. "Or Orthus will tear Mr. Jackson's throat out. Now, Eurytion, if you would be so kind, secure Nico."

The cowherd spit into the grass. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, you fool!"

Eurytion looked bored, but he wrapped one huge arm around Nico and lifted him up like a wrestler.

Jason's hand clenched into such a tight fist it looked like his veins were spidery arcs trying to pop out of his arm. Like this maniac had no weapon except a weird gold coin and was willing to deck someone anyways. Magnus kept reading in the tense silence and hoped wanting to finish it wasn't a last-minute life goal as he shoved down his fight or flight instinct.

"Pick up the sword, too," Geryon said with distaste. "There's nothing I hate worse than Stygian Iron."

"So does that make it the absolute perfect weapon to kill him with?" Alex asked with could-not-fool a soul innocence. "Or are we supposed to find a way to kill him with money? I'm open to suggestions." The 'whatever it takes to get this guy dead,' went without saying.

"We can always start a list and just play around to see what works," Jason said in a very eerie kind of way, and Thalia's bow vanished as she looked at him in concern. She didn't disagree Geryon needed to die like any monster, but she did not like that cruel edge he got in his tone for it.

Eurytion picked up the sword, careful not to touch the blade.

"Now," Geryon said cheerfully, "we've had the tour. Let's go back to the lodge, have some lunch, and send an Iris-message to our friends in the Titan army."

"You fiend!" Annabeth cried.

Geryon smiled at her. "Don't worry, my dear. Once I've delivered Mr. di Angelo, you and your party can go. I don't interfere with quests. Besides, I've been paid well to give you safe passage, which does not, I'm afraid, include Mr. di Angelo.

"Paid by who?" Magnus yelped in surprise.

"Paid by whom?" Annabeth said.

"It's the correct grammar that really makes that sentence feel off," Magnus admitted, fighting off a grudging laugh.

"It's the fact that he's not going to answer that makes me not care," Percy scoffed.

"Well I sure do," Will's scowl seemed scarier the longer it lingered, all of the light in the room seemed to be sucking right towards him. "Who's paying for just some kids to get through and not all of them? Sorry Percy, you know I care about you, but I'm not okay with that!"

"Neither am I," Percy promised at once. "You really think I'll sit by and let that happen?" He asked casually, like he was asking Will what he had for lunch.

Will seemed mildly soothed by the reminder all the same, though the light went back to normal in the room with a little popping noise. Nico swallowed more shame and anger he'd needed help to get out of this. He'd survived in that labyrinth for months by himself. Percy had come around once, and he was back to being a useless kid.

"What do you mean?"

"Never you mind, darlin'.

Percy decided whatever bits he hacked Geryon into weren't small enough just for calling Annabeth that.

Let's be off, shall we?"

"Wait!" I said, and Orthus growled. I stayed perfectly still so he wouldn't tear my throat out. "Geryon, you said you're a businessman. Make me a deal."

Percy always knew he was doing something right when everybody looked at him in surprise like that. He smiled and fought off the urge to gag at the stench of dog breath still hot in his face.

Geryon narrowed his eyes. "What sort of deal? Do you have gold?"

"I've got something better. Barter."

"But Mr. Jackson, you've got nothing."

"You could have him clean the stables," Eurytion suggested innocently.

"I'll do it!" I said. "If I fail, you get all of us. Trade us all to Luke for gold."

"Assuming the horses don't eat you," Geryon observed.

"Either way, you get my friends," I said. "But if I succeed, you've got to let all of us go, including Nico."

"No!" Nico screamed. "Don't do me any favors, Percy. I don't want your help!"

"You didn't have to do that," Nico said again, more confused than he even had been to Will before. "I, wouldn't have helped Luke. I would have gotten out on my own, I work fine on my own."

"I would have done it for anybody Nico," Percy gave him a bizarre look for saying that at all. "I don't try to help you just because I feel guilty about your sister. You know that, right?"

"Right, yeah, I'm um, getting that," Nico promised awkwardly. He'd spent so long being mad at Percy and then so long avoiding him and then stuck here for what felt like an infernal lifetime now he probably didn't have a choice at this rate but to get used to him.

Geryon chuckled. "Percy Jackson, those stables haven't been cleaned in a thousand years...

"Hercules did it last time I believe," Will offered in some weird semblance of a peace offering and something nice to say while everybody was being held hostage now. "So it's not undoable."

"Great, let's see how I do a remix on that," Percy frowned anew, never pleased to hear his name again.

though it's true I might be able to sell more stable space if all that poop was cleared away."

"So what have you got to lose?"

The rancher hesitated. "All right, I'll accept your offer, but you have to get it done by sunset. If you fail, your friends get sold, and I get rich."

"Deal."

He nodded. "I'm going to take your friends with me, back to the lodge. We'll wait for you there."

"Err," Magnus really hoped he was just missing something in what he'd just read. Was that whole swearing on the Styx thing required to be said out loud? Because he didn't think this hillbilly dude to be a man of his word.

Percy looked so agitated though he decided not to bring it up, considering nobody had lost an eardrum yet to this latest debacle.

Eurytion gave me a funny look. It might have been sympathy.

"If this comes down to a vote, at least he'll be on your side whether the law agrees or not," Jason said.

"Seriously dude, are you like, in pre lawyer school or something?" Percy burst out in surprised laughter.

"I like to consider myself a good judge of character and taking in the terrain," Jason grinned.

He whistled, and the dog jumped off me and onto Annabeth's lap. She yelped. I knew Tyson and Grover would never try anything as long as Annabeth was hostage.

I got out of the car and locked eyes with her.

"I hope you know what you're doing," she said quietly.

"I hope so, too."

"I hope so three," Thalia groaned. Here once again was Percy putting everything on the line in hopes he knew what he was doing. Good thing that always worked out or the world would be doomed.

Geryon got behind the driver's wheel. Eurytion hauled Nico into the backseat.

"Sunset," Geryon reminded me. "No later."

He laughed at me once more, sounded his cowbell horn, and the moo-mobile rumbled off down the trail.

"That is a weirdly menacing sentence," Magnus groaned as he began to hand the book to Alex. "I am sorry for laughing about that earlier Nico, and not just because Annabeth is in it now."

"Circumstances matter," Nico agreed nonchalantly.

[ailelie]

Okay. The Legend of the Five and character motivations.

Since the characters are all forced to face their deepest anxieties at one point in the film, we do have a good idea of part of what is driving them. The exception is Owen. Owen is a mystery (he is also the sequel teaser).

Javier is searching for his long-lost dad and refuses to accept his father doesn't love him.

Kaylee fears that she doesn't know how to engage with people and chooses to be an observer because she knows she'll never have real friends.

Caitlyn fears that she has nothing to contribute to world beyond being popular in high school, that she has peaked and there's nothing left for her.

Zoe is grieving her mother and feels guilty for missing her last moments to be with her.

Owen maybe fears that he isn't a smart or brilliant as he and others think he is and, without his brains, has nothing left to contribute. Again, this is a guess because we don't see Owen's fear. We also know that Owen is very curious, which could potentially lead to problems.

I would have loved for Javier's desire to find his father translate into a fear of losing people and for him to be the one protecting the group and watching out for everyone. (This also explains his behavior re: Owen. When Caitlyn shows interest in Owen, Javier brings Owen in rather than risk losing Caitlyn. In the movie, Owen is visibly baffled by Javier's behavior).

Caitlyn is the only one who bests her own mirror. She then touches and hugs the others, reminding them they're not alone (and giving them some fire energy), to help them best their own mirrors. I would have loved to see her insecurities earlier on (there's even a moment when Kaylee tells her she's peaked in HS; Caitlyn should have reacted more to that). With her insecurities built sooner, her defeat of the mirror would have felt like more of a triumph. Also, what she has to give is that she inspires the others. (At one point, when Owen is afraid, she talks to him and helps him be brave).

Kaylee is harder, but I would have loved for her drawings to have become a bridge to others rather than a barrier. Earlier she drew pictures to upset people, but what if she had had an opportunity to draw as a way of getting past an obstacle or helping the group find someone or something? Or if she drew a portrait to make someone feel braver rather than smaller? As 'Ether,' Kaylee is the force that connects everyone together. I would have loved to see that in her arc as well--the girl who fears she will always be alone being the girl who connects everyone together.

As for Zoe, I already talked about pushing the food thing a bit more to really manifest her grief. But! Zoe only touches the artifact in the early scene because she hears her mother. She first rejects the sorcerer and refuses to help her, but the later (off screen) agrees to help. This would have been so much better if the sorcerer had promised to use the power of the tree to bring back her mother. This would have (a) sharpened the betrayal when the sorcerer admits she was behind the cancer, and (b) would have increased Zoe's personal stakes when she decided to destroy the tree.

As for Owen, I would love to see his curiosity get him into trouble and for, at some point, to have someone tell him that his value isn't in having answers, but being the one to ask the questions no one else thinks to ask.

How could they have fit this in? Maybe they could have shortened the walking montage and removed the utterly pointless gnomes posturing at each other and farting on campfires to make fireballs that hurt nothing and no one.

[royalreef]

@lambfated​ inquired: What would cause you to leave a fandom? Munday Salt - Accepting

(( Glances over at the Monster Prom fandom.

Ha ha ha. Hah.

So the first thing you should know about me is that I don’t seem to participate in fandoms in the same way as everyone else. I don’t fandom hop. In my experience, and from my experience of watching everyone else cycle through ten different fandoms a minute, it’s pretty uncommon to find people who don’t fandom hop. Sure, I’ll get into other things and even reblog fanart and read fanfictions of them, but I don’t consider myself as being in the fandom in the same way, because I don’t participate the same way. I probably don’t have all that many opinions as to what’s going on as other people. I won’t really talk about it.

Instead, as evidenced by this blog, I will find a fandom and I will stay there. For years at a time. I will remain there, remain making fanart and writing for it and speculating on things and hashing ideas out, things that I do now for Miranda, and I simply won’t leave long after everyone else has already left and I will stay there day in and day out at the same level. I don’t really chase trends, I don’t really get into new stuff, I will find a singular fandom and camp there.

This is how it’s been for Monster Prom and me. I got in right when the game released, and I remained here. DLC has come and gone, a Kickstarter has come and gone, sequels have come and gone, and I haven’t really left.

For my previous fandom, Homestuck, I think I was there for something like 8 years. It was the same way.

So when I talk about leaving fandoms, I mean this in a much different way that most people mean it. If it’s a casual interest of mine, I’ll just stop interacting with it, and won’t consider that leaving the fandom because I was never in it. If it’s the fandom where I’ve camped out in, it’s a much longer, more painful process.

I guess I couldn’t really tell you when it really started? Like, the writing issues first started cropping up in the Second Term DLC, but they felt minor enough at the time where I didn’t worry about them then, and worrying about them now likewise feels odd. I’ve talked a lot before about my disappointment with Zoe, but her and Calculester both feel fundamentally different from the original ROs to me and it’s hard to decipher why. Maybe it’s just because they were created and added later, so they inherently missed out on working all of the ROs in together and figuring out how they riffed off of each other, so they’re inherently far less connected to each other than the other ROs were? The Kale ending was an utter nightmare for multiple reasons, but I was willing to write that off, especially since apparently there are people that exist that love it.

I know there were also issues with the Kickstarter too, but these also felt minor at the time. I’m less bothered by the limited Kickstarter merch than by the rest of the limited merch that would be released, mostly because it feels much more natural to me for Kickstarters to have limited edition merch. I’ve pledged to a lot of Kickstarters, that seems fairly common to me. I don’t like the limited releases of other items in comparison, because they do have proper merch stores for Monster Prom that haven’t been updated since Second Term, and it always feels like they’re preying a lot more on FOMO.

Monster Camp also had..... a lot of writing issues for me. The first and easiest one to get out of the way is just the scatological humor. It feels like the original Monster Prom had WAY less scatological humor going on, and the ability to remove scenes with it never worked in my games. For the record, that kind of topic for me is legitimately a trigger, one that I don’t like discussing both because of how severe it is, but also how much no one takes it seriously. I don’t like that there are parts of this game that are suddenly inaccessible to me when they didn’t used to be, and I don’t like that entire “secrets” are also excluded from me due to something that never was an issue before. I also fundamentally hate the Drinks mechanic. Yes, I know there are different modes for it, but the fact that you have to unlock the drinks too is just frustrating more than anything. Either my choice is to miss out on a lot of secret endings due to RNG, or to try and use a system that I can’t because I have trouble with hand-eye-coordination and moving my hands in the first place. It also doesn’t help that it’s not optional, unlike the Shop that it replaces, so you end up forced back to it time and time again and you don’t even get the chance to avoid it.

But the characters themselves also began to feel... off, to me? I don’t think it was as bad as I was dreading, but it still didn’t feel right. Dynamics felt jilted, characters didn’t seem to quite have the same force of personality they had before, there was a ton of loss of “voice” for individual characters. I think them not having the same voice as before is one of the big issues — when I look at a list of quotes from the first game, it’s VERY easy to figure out which character said them just from phrasing and word choice and inflection. When I look at a list of quotes from the second game, I can’t, because these characters all start to sound the same and say the same things and come off in the same way. It’s where I feel like the ability to let Kickstarter backers choose the ROs really failed the hardest, because that meant there wasn’t a diversity of dynamics and different internal voices for these characters for them to stand out against each other, but I also feel like the writing itself lost the ability to distinguish between characters.

And then... Roadtrip. Oh, oh Roadtrip.

Mechanically, I actually kind of love this game? It feels like it has a nice, snappy balance, in a way that Monster Camp didn’t have, and it doesn’t make me utterly hate my life to play. There was still an issue with the scatological humor — this time it doesn’t even remove the options from your game or give you something alternative, but just adds a ticker that an option will contain it. It still locks “secrets” behind those triggers, and it can also really fuck with my stats if a stat I need is connected to an option with that trigger. But it’s not as big of an issue as Monster Camp where it didn’t work at all, so, you know.

But Roadtrip’s writing is... atrocious. The characters feel flanderized in a frankly awful manner, like the devs were just looking at the fandom’s notes for how the characters behaved and worked and entirely threw away everything that they had before. I’ve always hated the fanon, but now fanon is canon and it loses so much of what I actually liked about these games and what drew me to them. These characters don’t feel like friends anymore. They almost feel like they all hate each other and are forced to tolerate each other because they want to fit into the idea of a friend group, they stop feeling like individual people to me, they’ve had all their hard edges sawed off and sanded down until they could be as palatable as possible to as many people as possible, it’s just awful all-around. I hate Scott being given the Papyrus treatment and Polly treating him cussing as out of character for him. The expanded lore for the PCs feels out of place and not like Monster Prom characters, as if they belong to some other game. The way they handle Miranda’s eating disorder is downright offensive and made my own flare up. It’s bad. I won’t lie.

And I think that ties back into why I tend to have to leave these big fandoms for me that I camp out in for years at a time.

The fandom is just fucking awful.

It’s been years since I’ve properly done anything inside the main Discord server for this game. Too many times I’ve started talking about Miranda, or made fanart of Miranda, and, totally unprompted, I would get people going off about how much they hate her and want to hurt her or watch her die. It’s just constant if you don’t like any character other than the fandom’s main darlings. If you don’t like Damien, the PCs, or Zoe, then you won’t get anything out of the fandom. The only real ships I see floating around constantly feature the PCs. The only anything anyone ever really properly talks about is Damien. If you want deeper lore or consideration or just to talk about the world of Monster Prom then you won’t find anyone or anything. I’ve had people go on and on about how my art is “uncanny” and “upsetting” to them, I’ve had people constantly make snide comments to me, I’ve constantly been shoved to the shadows and insulted because I don’t make typical “fandom” stuff.

Like, I know this fandom is much better than a lot of others, and fandoms in general are hell. But it’s also so discouraging and upsetting to see it still be the same way, still never change, and to see canon itself start to enable all of this. I know Monster Prom has always been more connected to its fanbase than other games and other media, but this has never been a selling point for me, and it’s always been something I dislike and discourage. I don’t want the devs to care what I do. I don’t want the devs to let me influence their games. I don’t want the stupid lore I came up with because it’s some of my favorite tropes and I could loosely justify it to be canon. I don’t want other fucking characters to be made and introduced to explain things that characters that already exist should be explaining.

I really just want the characters to continue to be themselves and to be interesting. And I didn’t even get that.

[exitwound]

hi zoe i love ur blog and opinions. u always have just amazing analysis and like. general ideas that just are mindblowing. and i was wondering if you're often inspired by art and stuff around you that helps you come to your thoughts? asking because honestly i always feel like im stealing and plagiarizing other people's ideas and thoughts when im inspired by someone's work to create my own - like my tone or style is too similar, or my words are practically the same. and it feels awful because im like is this even inspired or am i literally just stealing? it feels like i can't ever create work with my own thoughts and idk what to do with that. sorry i know that was like a ton of info feel free to ignore

wow omg thank you. this is crazy to hear because i would personally say that the last time i had an idea it was about dean winchester. but for sure those ideas would really really have not had been posts if i didn’t see other ideas and stretch them to a new location on the media body. but thank you.Ummm i would say that it’s difficult to tell when i have a thought where it came from except when it’s not and know exactly where it came from. but definitely i don’t live in a vacuum and i am always always always always always very inspired by everything and by art and art and art and art and other peoples analyses and ideas about art and and and and and. and honestly i think that originality of ideas is a little bit nothing i think that the meaning is mostly in the expression of the idea bc like most art is a pretty simple idea but it’s done welll it commits to the idea and it trusts you to be blown away. slightly unrelatedly I think there is enormous value in intentionally attempting forgeries of others work although of course for this you wouldn’t pass it off as your own. Back to being related i think generally it’s more difficult to actually plagiarize on accident than you might fear. sometimes i worry im writing something i just forgot i read but there was kind of nothing i could do about that worry so i decided to move on and anyway if i forgot i read it then i definitely forgot the context so im already doing something new with it. i find that when i consume a lot of one type of writing for example like if im doing an english paper i sometimes slip into writing in the same style of the book im doing a paper on without realizing. Maybe a solution to feeling stuck in copying a style is to just get it out of you like new document and purge it just keep copying until you’ve run out of recombinations based on this source material and then you begin to scratch at the surface of the thing you were submerged in and break into the new yourself that swallowed a source like a spider and uses its thread to make a new web but it’s not your thread but it’s your web. I think that tends to happen to me in a way when I have an obsession on an idea i first encountered expressed in art and then began trying to re-express it myself. Which is super normal and most art is the re-expression of other expressions for sure. i don’t know i guess i used to be very terrified of plagiariaztipn in my poetry and then i started reading poems and i would find lines in things i had never read before that were very similar to things i had written already and i started realize you will be copying something whether youve seen it already or not so thats that and not really because of this and more because of fractals but definitely relevant to this is i started to make a belief system that the wider your lens the more infinitely small the number of things and all you can do is try to say something that in all of history has never been uttered but means something that everyone who ever lived has felt you know. i hope this helps definitely most of my thoughts are not my own but once i think them they’re mine and immediately being recontextualized with the other thoughts and the new environment if that makes sense… it comes from where it comes from . sorry if this isn’t helpful but i hope it is much love sending reassurance and confidence xxxx🪰🫙🥣🔌📡🪆🪣

[adultswim2021]

Delocated #4: “Rage Cage” | March 9, 2009 - 12:15AM | S01E04

Jon has quit his job at the Copy Shop and started his own business. It’s called Rage Cage, and it’s just a space where you can go nuts and smash stuff to get your aggressions out. Here he meets a charming young customer named Kim, played by Zoe Lister-Jones. Jon and her start going out and start getting serious. 

Things start sorta taking a turn for the more-complicated when he meets her family. He arrogantly calls her brother a “little bitch” for not owning his own business, and then plays a humiliating DVD where he tells the story of how he and Kim met. He describes having sex with her for the first time while rude cartoon graphics play. The family is obviously appalled and Jon gets into an altercation with the brother. 

This one has a telescoping end sequence where we continually pull out of the TV, showing Jon showing what we were just watching as being part of a similarly-edited video (using footage from the show we’re watching). Jon is showing the fight to his buddies (Mike, the old copy shop boss, and the doorman) when Kim walks in and gets mad at Jon for showing off the altercation for laughs. Then we pull out of another TV, where we see they are in couple’s counseling, with Jon showing their therapist the video of them fighting about the previous video. 

Yet again, the show ignores the instinct other shows might have of exploring a new dynamic by dragging out the newness of it over the course of a number of episodes. We’re basically speed-running from Jon and Kim’s meet-cute, to their first date, to meeting the family, to now where they are already in a difficult and rocky relationship that already feels worn out (I mean for the characters, not for the show). I admire it! Also, Kim is maybe my favorite character on the show. Her participation in the series almost represents what I consider to be the peak era of the program the same way Phil Hartman is for The Simpsons. 

This episode has a lot of really fun smaller ideas within it, like the Rage Cage itself, the tortilla blanket, Jon’s aversion to scones, and the Anderson family birthday song. The idea of a “family song” just tickles me. 

I think I forgot to mention this, Delocated began this season by premiering on Thursday nights with a second-run on the following Sunday. This episode was the first to premiere on Sunday and not Thursday. I’m guessing the Thursday night thing was considered a failed experiment. I vaguely recall thinking that it was meant to capitalize off of NBC’S Thursday night line-up. 30 Rock was part of that at the time, and Jon Glaser had a recurring role on that show. Weirdly, Xavier also debuted on Thursday nights, and it stayed there longer than Delocated did. At the time I thought Adult Swim was trying to ramp up it's output to have original shows on every night of the week.

MAIL BAG

Check out this funny youtube comment on the Back To Squall youtube clip: "I love any movie with John A Hill. His performance in "The Wolf of Quall Street" was fantastic." Do you like it?

I like that comment, for I am of the people and I respect peanut galleries. Let's face it, I am a bit nutty.

[halechief]

honestly i think what bothered me the most about season six - and while i’m at it, season five, is how completely they subverted almost everything that we knew and understood about claire, in order to make her “more formidable” or “more dangerous,”  or “more compelling,” since i guess they felt the need to make up for the lack of francis. the thing about claire is that she has always been dangerous. and when they weren’t making her look stupid or insensitive in order to further the plot, i actually liked the way that they showed that in her. the intimidation she used with zoe, the way she tried the gentle approach with gillian cole and when that didn’t work, very very calmly and deliberately she revealed herself just enough to achieve the desired effect. am i really the sort of enemy you want to make? she was never, ever so heavy handed as francis. she used the soft touch in every situation right up until the moment that it no longer worked, and when the time came to move beyond that, the destruction was typically just as elegant as her mercy would have been. in seasons four five and six i really feel like so much of her characterisation just started getting... sloppy and awkward. and as far as the asides, i loved the first one, we make the terror. i even loved a couple of the ones after that because they were sparing, they were utilized at the appropriate moment. i loved the ones that might not have been asides at all, when she seems to respond to something francis has said, but the same words are used to the room at large, like when he says that she owes him and she says not true, and uses that to address the room, as well. season six simply took it way too far, and it’s obvious from the EVERYTHING ABOUT IT that they did it because they had simply decided that instead of writing us claire, they were going to write us Frank In Heels. let me bring us back to a little moment from season one for reference as to what i mean, and why i think it’s out of character.

it’s one of my favorite episodes,chapter 11, where claire leaves adam’s apartment in new york after the news about peter russo breaks. there’s a photograph that claire took in the park where she and adam had talked, where he’d asked her about fear and feelings and francis and what she had wanted from her life. he’d pointed out the young woman and said “if he’s looking for you, that’s where you are. over there. before you met frank. alone. curious. absorbing everything.” to which claire replies : you have no idea what i was like when i was a girl. she takes the photo after admitting to adam that what she’d wanted was not just to be seen, but significant. later, when they print out the pieces of the enlarged rendering, adam asks what they should name her :

claire: why does she need a name? adam: i never photograph anyone without knowing their name. claire: you didn’t take the photograph. i did. adam: i think . . . we should call her claire. claire: (laughs) she doesn’t even look like me. even a younger version, why do you keep saying that? adam: not her features, her .. expression. hey, we should mount it. you can hang her in your house. would francis object? claire: .... can we please .. not discuss francis?

from there it moves on, claire denies that frank’s presence is there between them even when she is visiting and ‘being with him’ ( although that is undoubtedly true, francis is always hanging between her and whatever person she tries to love. ) eventually by the end of the episode, claire and adam have had their massive argument, wherein adam says “that is what i find so frustrating about you claire. you chose not to be free.” and she says : no. what i chose is a man i could love for more than a week  ( . . . )  i have a life with francis, i have a future with him. and it’s bigger than a moment. 

HERE ARE THE EVEN FUCKING MORE IMPORTANT PARTS. 

claire rearranges the pieces of the photo laid out on the floor. she folds a swan into the centerpiece, and we don’t see this until adam wakes up after she’s left. the implication here is very clear : you don’t really know me. i am not this false image that you have of me. claire is disrupting this idea that he holds of her, of this caged person, of this person who chose not to be free, who is held captive by her marriage or her choices or whatever he thinks it is that binds her. he sees her as a persona, a painting he wants very desperately to save and keep for himself, and she knows that this is an image she has encouraged him to hold of her, the soft parts, the parts that she is not often given room to express, but i think after the argument that they had, she needed to show him that his view of the matter is wrong, and disingenuous, and reductive. that it is diminishing, though he holds it with affection, with desire, with longing. THEN, and this is why i will never, ever get behind the asides every episode bullshit that they did in s6 in order to replace the francis of it all : claire does this as she leaves:

she pauses, she pulls this subtle half turn -- i don’t know if this has been confirmed by any of the showrunners but to me, this is the first indication in the show that claire knows we are here. i can almost taste what she might have said. she turns, she thinks of addressing us, of explaining herself, why she’s rearranged the photo, why she stayed another night before leaving after the fight, why she came here at all or why she is going back despite us seeing what francis has done to her and how deeply the wound has run. then she doesn’t. why?

because she doesn’t have to. 

claire does not feel beholden to, or supported by the audience the way that frank does. she doesn’t need approval or fealty or admiration from us the way that he does... she does not long to share with us or to have us exalt in her actions, she does not wish to invite us into her thoughts and feelings, because they are hers. she is an incredibly private person ... it is not a performance, what she does with the photo, she doesn’t do it to hurt adam or to dig a finger into a wound so to address it, to call attention to it or explain as though it is any of our business would pervert the earnestness of the moment. the fact that she wanted to make a clean break, to end it without having to speak any more hurtful words or puncture his understanding of her in person. this is her life. not a scene, and it is not meant for us to understand or enjoy.

to go from this to what they did in season six, is just so ... wrong, to me. claire is not a person that gets off on making herself seem intelligent or cruel or wicked. she’s not as prideful as they made her seem, she’s not as detached or arrogant or cold. she is ruthless, she is calculating, she is capable of hurting herself and anyone else to get what she wants. one thing she is not, is ours to judge or decipher. she belongs to herself. and if i’m honest ... i don’t think she cares very much what we think of her choices.

[mcu-vanity-blog]

GOTG 3 Review (done by the characters I care about)

Disclaimer: I didn't watch the Christmas special

Peter: Has a complete alcoholism arc in the first ten minutes for some reason? It's implied he's been drinking a lot since Endgame and then, like 15 minutes in, he says out loud "This wouldn't've happened if I hadn't been drinking" and then that's just the end of it? My brother in Christ, this movie is 2 and a half hours long, maybe cut that bit aye?

He is very much just another character in this entry. Most of his lines could easily be given to Mantis or Nebula and nothing would really change. Chris Pratt looks visibly unenthused to be here most of the time.

(New) Gamora: Honestly, could've been left out of the MCU entirely since her death in Infinity War. Zoe Saldana is the best part of every MCU film she's been in.

In this film though, she starts off with the Ravagers >> maybe learns that she's a slightly better person than she thought >> goes back to the Ravagers.

She's basically just sort of "also there" for the whole film, and is often just acting as a foil for Peter's arc (which, btw, is realising that this woman who looks like his dead girlfriend isn't actually his dead girlfriend; a fact he already knows).

Idk man, it's weird. I think Zoe just contractually had to be in this one?

Rocket: Is very much the main character of this film, but spends a good two-thirds of it asleep. You mainly see him in flashbacks where he's being abused/experimented on by the film's villain.

It's a very classic James Gunn thing I think; take a small and helpless guy and make the audience empathise with him because of how small and helpless he is. I guess it's not super nuanced in that way, but it's not necessarily an unenjoyable story for him.

It was weird that they decided to give us his origin in what is apparently the final entry of this trilogy though?

Like, "you've loved this character for 9 years now and this might be the last chance you get to see him and his friends all together again! How about we have sleep the entire time and, instead, explain exactly how he became who he was when you met him 5 movies ago!". It's kind of just silly (Dan Harmon articulates this idea really well here at 0:35-0:51).

Nebula: Gets more screen-time and characterization in this film, still not the most interesting character tho :/.

I also don't think that Karen Gillian can act :(. Would much rather have OG Gamora over her

Drax: Still just relegated to unfunny comic relief. His thing in the first movie was that his culture didn't have metaphors and he was a little careless/happy-go-lucky; he wasn't an idiot.

Ever since then? He has exclusively been an idiot.

Don't care, but feel sorry that Dave Bautista still has to play this role, even though he does very well in it <3

Groot: Again, hasn't been interesting since the first movie. He used to be this sort of mysterious, ancient, gentle giant type of character, but he's basically been just a type of sci-fi set dressing in all the movies since then.

I know James Gunn has said he's a brand new Groot from the one we see in that movie, but it's like... why? Compare the scenes of OG Groot to literally any scene of Gunn-written Groot and tell me which one is the more interesting character.

Adam Warlock: Surprisingly good. Unfortunately, he's that same James Gunn character of grown-up person with the mind of a child (think Killer Sharl in Suicide Squad), but it kinda works in this? I like that they let Will Poulter keep his accent and I look forward to seeing him written by more competent writers.